#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[klaussstilinski]

Chapter 4

An: I was slipping plain and simple. I truly hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave your feedback, all is welcome. Sorry for the long wait but another chapter is coming Thursday!!

Disclaimer: DON’T OWN ANYTHING ABOUT ON MY BLOCK, JUST MY CHARACTERS DAISY, JACKIE, AND MADELINE.

You ever get that feeling like your whole world is falling apart and then boom something exciting happens and everything is fine in the moment? If so, well, congratulations you’re human, and you’re not the only one with those feelings. When your world Is falling apart you have this crushing feeling in your chest; like there’s an elephant sitting there just waiting for you to stop breathing. Although it feels like your heart is beating faster and is going to beat out of your chest cavity it’s actually all in your head, that’s called panic. Your heart rate is picking up because of your fear of death. Then all of a sudden, your lungs start expanding like a balloon when someone starts blowing warm air into it. That crushing feeling is finally lifted off your chest and you can take a gulp of fresh air. That. I wanted that. As I'm sitting on my warm chocolate brown recliner couch, I wipe my eyes as I realize that the meeting with Oscar didn’t go as I had planned, or even hoped for. It was so much worse, and to be honest I don’t know how I'm going to face him or the kids for a while. ~THAT MORNING~ I wake before my alarm clock starts going off. Excitedly I get up to start my morning routine; hair up, brush teeth, wash face, moisturizer, pull hair down just so I can put 2 french braids in and dance my way to my closet to pick out a semi-comfortable outfit. Boyfriend jeans, a basic grey V-neck tee and a black and an old black and grey plaid shirt matched with some white vans. Smirking I all but skip to the white nightstand, unplug my phone, grab my necessities and walk to the wooden front door, set the alarm and walk to the car. Nothing is going to wipe this big smile off my face. That is until I walk into the back door of the bakery. “Daisy! Oh, thank god you’re here. I need you to pick up Jackie’s shift, she came down with the flu.” Maddy gagged, “It was real nasty! She facetimed me this morning, her nose was so red and her eyes were so puffy. OH and her voice was basically gone.”

“That’s fine, bu-but um wasn’t she trying to finish some cupcakes for a 8 year old's birthday party?” I asked swallowing hard.

“Yeah, so she finished half of the order, which was 50 cupcakes, but the other half of the order was the 2-tier cake.”

“I-I didn’t know about the cake. When is the deadline?”

“Sunday...but like I said the cupcakes are done!” She quickly adds when I look at her as my jaw hits the floor.

“Maddy! Today is friday, just please tell me she already has the framing of the cake.”

Walking to the fridge she opens the doors with a grand gesture. “She actually does, and she has base coating done.” Breathing a sigh of relief, I put my belongings away, put on my apron, wash my hands, and get started making the fondant for the marvel birthday cake. By the time I get finished covering the cake with the fondant, it was already 12. Short day my ass. Jackie owes me big time.

~4 THAT EVENING~

R- 3:13 pm: Daisy raincheck on tonight's meetup!!

R- 3:17 pm: You know you could at least text me back...

R- 3:19 pm: Okay so I know you got this message; it says it was delivered

M- 3:25 pm: DAISY! The boys, mainly Ruby, wants to reschedule. Call me as soon as you get this!!!

M- 3:40 pm: Why haven’t you called? Are you hurt?

J- 4:01 pm: Just to formally update you woman, we can’t make it to the meetup tonight...

Well for once I'm glad my phone was on silent. Hanging my apron, I clock-out and quickly head out the door putting my phone up to my ear.

“Hey, sorry I had to cover Jackie’s shift at work. I saw y’all couldn’t make it to the meeting tonight but why did you need me to call you?” I ask as soon as Monse picks up.

“You’re fine, yeah something about Ruby needing to move his things into his room with his abuela. But I actually need to talk to you. It’s really important.”

“Talk, I'm driving!”

“I think I might have feelings for Cesar.”

“Um yeah I know, I think we all know at this point.”

“But he’s pressuring me to tell everyone. He I feel like he wants to stake a claim, or something.”

“Are you home? I’m on the way, we’re going to my house to talk.”

“Yes, how far are you?”

“About 10 minutes away, be ready!” I reply hanging up the phone. Arriving I blow the once before she comes running out the front door and quickly jumping into the car.

“I didn’t know you had a record player.” Monse yells through the house.

“It was a gift from grandma, along with all of her old vinyls.” Picking up a Nat King Cole record I turn it over to show her the vintage vinyl.

“She was into Jazz?”

“Stop beating around the bush. What’s going on with you and Cesar?” Glancing at the clock, it’s already after 5.

“So, we’ve been seeing each other since I came back from camp and-”

“Having sex.” I interrupt as I sit down beside her on the couch.

“W-what?” She stutters looking at me with wide eyes.

“Monse, I'm not dumb I know y’all are having sex. Do I approve? Hell no. Do I wish you would have waited? Hell yeah. But hey,” I turn and look her in the eyes. “I’m not disappointed in you Monse. I’m not judging you either because there are worse things you could be doing. But just a 1 question, are you using protection?”

“Yeah...” But she’s looking everywhere but at me.

“Monse?”

“We’re only using condoms, but not all the time.”

“What?” I screech.

“Dad has never talked to me about birth control or even sex. I’m not even sure if I should talk to him about it. Wouldn’t that be weird?” Her round cheeks turn slightly red, reminding me of the time mama first told me about sex and I got so embarrassed.

“Well since you already technically know about sex, I'll let you know right now that condoms are good birth control but they aren't 100 percent effective. That’s why sometimes it is best to be on some kind of birth control yourself, not saying you have to though. There’s the pill, IUD, the shot, the patch, implant, ring, sponge, and so many-”

“Okay I get it!” Monse yells cutting me off. “There are many types of birth control, but um this isn’t why I wanted to talk you. I’m afraid if we say something it’ll break up the crew.”

Laughter bubbles up my throat and without warning it tumbles out. I stop when I see Monse grinding her teeth.

“See this is why I was afraid to tell you!”

“I thought you were joking, Monse you’re afraid of what the boys will say. The same two boys who are most likely jerking off to magazines or porn?”

“Eww I totally didn’t need to hear that.” Shuddering she jumps up and starts pacing the living room. “I just don’t want things to change between us.”

“Things are going to change, you’re growing up. Everyone changes Monse, you can't stop that. But if they don’t support you in this decision then screw them. Real friends support you in anything and any situation. From what I understand they love you both, right?”

“Right!”

“Okay then I have no doubt in my mind that those boys will accept you two. Maybe you’re just scared of your feelings for him.” She went to interrupt me but instead her stomach growling cuts her short. “I know you Monse, you’re just scared and nervous, which is normal. But maybe you should give it a try with you and Cesar just to see how things will work out. But for right now let's get some food in you!”

“Good idea.” She says chewing on her nails while walking to the kitchen with me following close behind.

Frozen pizza and tater tots were definitely a win tonight. Not the healthiest but who eats healthy 24/7 anyways.

“So, dad is picking me up. He should be here really soon” She says as we’re watching tv after dinner.

“Oh, when did he get back in town?”

“Yesterday, he said something about the two of you not really talking right now.”

“Yeah just somethings I guess we need to talk about.” I shrug not really caring to have this conversation with her.

“That bad?”

“Not really, I just don’t agree with everything he does.” Lights shine through the living room curtain. “Well I guess he’s here, come on I'll walk you to the door.” Heading towards the door she stops to ask me a question.

“Did you use birth control with Spooky?” Laughing I push her towards the door.

“Not at first no, but eventually I started taking the pill, which by the way there’s different kinds of.” Opening the door, I turn to her to give her a hug just to see her face frown with confusion.

“What are you doing here?” Turning around I come face to face with the devil himself.

“Hello to you to.” Oscar announces looking at me the whole time. 30 seconds go by before another car pulls into the driveway.

“Well there's my ride, I'll call you later Daisy, love you!” Monse yells running down the steps in towards dads car.

“Why are you here? It’s not even 8 yet.”

“Thought I'd surprise you; we need to talk.” He walks by me as if I wasn’t blocking his way in.

“Um, excuse me I didn’t invite you in!” I follow him once I close the door. “You can’t just walk into my house uninvited.” Laughing he sits down and leans back stretching his legs and arms.

“Come sit,” he pats the cushion beside him. I choose the other end of the couch. 10 minutes go by before I decide the silence begins to get to me.

“What did you want to talk about?” How awkward.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He locks his jaw in place.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don't play stupid with me.” Playing stupid? No, I'm actually stupid because I have no clue what the hell he’s talking about.

“Honestly have no clue what you’re talking about Oscar.”

“The baby...” It gets eerily quiet. My body runs cold, it feels like my body turns to stone.

“Got nothing to say now huh?” Hanging my head, I lock my fingers together in my lap.

“I did...I-I came to you and told you.” Glancing up at him, I see him look at me with disgust in his eyes.

“You didn’t tell me that you got an abortion.” His voice gets deep and raspy.

“No, who told you that?”

“That’s not important, you were my girl. You come to me about these things not-”

“How was I supposed to do that when you were behind bars? Huh?” My voice gets louder and louder. “I was 15 and scared Oscar. You weren’t here to help.”

“I would've been if you just told me from the beginning.” His neck is turning red from all the straining and yelling he's doing.

“You know that wouldn’t have stopped you from doing what you did!”

“How do you know?” He laughs, but it wasn’t one filled with humor, no, it was filled with sarcasm. “I would’ve done anything for you.”

“You told me to leave and build a life for myself.” I try to change to direction to conversation.

“That doesn’t mean leaving town, and getting an abortion.”

“Stop saying that, I didn’t get an abortion. Why do you keep saying that?”

“Why won’t you tell me what really happened? I want to believe you, but since you won’t tell me what happened I can only believe what other people tell me.” Was his smart ass response.

“Why can’t you just believe what I’m telling you and leave it at that?”

“Because it was my child!” He yelled.

“It was my child too.” I scream back officially breaking down in tears. “I lost the baby…” I manage to say as I’m trying to breathe through my soon to be panic attack.

Silence.

I guess he didn’t expect that. When you’ve been told one thing for years, a lie, and then hear another thing that might be just as worse as the lie, I guess it would render you silent.

“I was consistently worried about you, me, the baby, what my mom would think, and so stressed out. God I was so stressed, that before I knew it I had lost the baby. I was only 11 weeks along” Wiping my eyes I get up just to slowly pace the floor. “Please…say something.”

“Do you blame me?” Looking up at me, we lock eyes as so stop and face jinx

“No, I never would. The doctor said it happens often.”

“Did you believe them? That it happens often?” He whispered.

“No…it was my fault. I knew I shouldn’t have been that stressed but instead I still decided to take on everyone’s problems and my own.”

“You should’ve told me. You were mine, the baby was mine.” With his head hanging between his broad shoulders he starts running his fingers through his hair. “Had everything planned and written down in there. I was going to behave and get out early. Come home to you and our child. Get a job, buy a home, and have more children. Build a better life for our family. That’s what I wanted.”

“Im so so sorry Oscar!” Closing my eyes as tears run down my cheeks.

“That’s what kept me alive in there. Knowing I had you and our blessing to come home to. Then that all came crashing down when I found out the truth, well what I thought was the truth.” I stayed quite to let him get what he needed off his chest. “I don’t blame you, you shouldn’t have had to worry about me, I put you in that situation. For that I’m truly sorry Daisy.”

“Yo-you don’t owe me an apology.” I know my under eyes had to be an angry red from all the wiping and rubbing.

“I do, because no matter how mad I am I’m still in love with you.” I can’t move, I think I’ve stopped breathing too. “I’ve tried to stop, god I’ve tried. But I know where my heart is and who it belongs to.”

“You don’t mean that, you’re just upset Oscar.” Whimpering I sit down beside him.

“I mean everything I just said. But it’s because I love you that I can’t love you.”

“What? I’m confused. You love me, but you can’t love me?”

“That would put a target on you. Being my girl in the streets would put you and everyone you love in danger. I can’t have that, I would kill everyone for even looking at you the wrong way.” Oscar explains himself.

“I’ve dated you before, I know what it’s like.”

“But things have changed, I’m more powerful than I was before. I won’t put you in danger again, end of story.” He gets up and starts heading for the door. Jumping up I chase after him.

“You can’t just tell me you love me then walk out the door Oscar. That’s not fair. You’ve done this to me before and it left me in pieces last time.” I grab his arm to stop him from walking. “Please just talk to me more before you just close the book on us.”

“Goodnight Daisy, I’ll see you around.” He pulls his arm from my hands and locks the bottom lock before heading out the door. A loud sob comes from somewhere in the room and it’s once I collapse in the chair when I realize that the sound came from me.

~THE PRESENT~

As I’m wiping the tears from my face I decided here and now that this won’t be the end of us. He might’ve walked out but I refuse to just give up on him so easily. Then that’s when it hits me. All this time I’ve been running away from my feelings for him. Everything is so clear.

I’m still fucking in love Oscar Diaz.

My phone ringing brings me out my trance. Running to the kitchen I find the phone on the kitchen table and as soon as I seen the name something else comes to realization within these last 5 minutes. Only 2 people knew of me losing the baby. I hit decline just for the person to pick call right back. I have to options, ignore them and turn my phone off or answer them and confront them of their disgrace and lies. I hate confrontation so option number one sounds really nice right now. Too late! 

“Why would you lie to Oscar and tell him that I had an abortion?” I spit in the phone. 

“Daisy baby...”

TAG: @mbaku-babygirl @izraahh1 @shesbriaanayy @aka-eb @yxseminx

#on my block #oscar diaz #spooky #omb #monse finnie #cesar diaz #jamal turner #ruby martinez #oscar diaz x oc #spooky x oc #spooky fanfic #oscar diaz fanfic #on my block fanfiction