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jinuaei · 4 months

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Perception

Yandere!Self aware! Leon Kennedy x Player! Reader pt. 2

To be the person whose deity's eyes are cast upon is a bliss. This is what Leon feels, bliss. The slow descent to madness from being in this unholy situation is overwhelmed by your presence, your guidance and warmth suppressing the fear and stress. Truth be told he has not been paying attention to whatever Marvin is talking about but thats fine, you'll pay attention for him right?

He can feel himself flush, his insides burning hot with embarrassment and horror, though on the outside no splash of red can be seen on his cheeks. How dare he assign work to you when he is the one who is supposed to be doing everything? He is but your humble servant, he is the one who should be doing the task of listening to this boring police man, not you!

Leon quickly snaps back reality and luckily was able to catch where the emblems are located. Noting it down mentally, he descends to the western wing of the station after receiving a knife from Marvin. Progressing through the halls he thinks back to earlier when he was still trying to fight against your influence, he truly was an idiot. But he was still happy that he submitted to you sooner, rather than later.

A sudden crash of glass breaking pierce through his left ear, a groan following after. Leons body freezes up and a strong feeling of panic rattles his brain. He shot the corpse on the head within a second, blowing it up in pieces. The panic still flows through his brain but not the rest of him, on the contrary his whole body is calm but his mind isn't. As he tries to understand why the fear he is feeling is strange he soon realized that… It's not mine. I'm not scared, THEY are.

Hot rage courses through his veins as he glares at the lump of meat underneath him, his fingers itching to grab the leather grip of the knife and stab it. Again. And again. And again. How dare that thing scare you? Nonetheless, Leon can't do anything but just seethe quietly. After a while, he can feel the panic subside and his body jerks towards the stairs, walking cautiously. Nothing much happened after that, other than the licker almost nicking him, it was a very quiet journey. Going back to Marvin, the older man showed him the cctv footage of a girl outside, recognizing her as his companion from earlier. He felt relief upon knowing that she was safe from harm. He was then directed to the 2nd floor of the east wing where he'll be able to get her that way.

As he exits the doorway to the side extrance of the station a shout from below him captured his attention. Looking over the rails, the red jacket highlighted her form, of course it was--

"Claire!"

Joyfully he walks down the stairs, but as soon as he takes a step your warmth is gone from his body. Why…why can't he feel you inside him? Did you abandon him?? No no no… You're still there, he can feel your eyes gazing onto him but his body can only percieve the coldness of the night.

Even with his inner turmoil the show must go on. Without his permission his body moves perfectly, their conversation flowing so smoothly it was almost like following a script. However he knows that whatever is happening is unnatural, the smile he gives to Claire seems robotic, he tries to take control with his body but the only thing that he manages to do was to smile awkwardly, a brief flash of fear in his eyes. Even if Claire did notice she didn't say anything, just talking like normal.

Tuning back to their conversation he can hear himself speak.

"That's good. Any luck with your brother?"

"No, not yet."

He tuned everything out again because he felt disgusted being controlled by something other than you. Soon an explosion interrupts both of them, the sound of groans soon following. They look at each other with understanding and separated ways. Within a second, your warmth encompass his body and fill him with new vigor, the bliss returning as he realizes your departure was only temporary. Then his thoughts became more dark and more desperate.

The feeling of losing you, even temporary was heartbreaking. Him sensing you but not able to touch you was torture. But…he will bear with it, as long as you come back to him. So please, don't ever leave him again.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #yandere leon kennedy #puppy leon kennedy #yandere leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #re2 leon #yandere #Self aware resident evil #Self aware Leon kennedy x reader #Self aware au #Yandere x reader

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messydiabolical · 8 months

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i’d once read a Mass Effect take that has been stewing in my melon ever since, about Wrex and him demanding a cure for the genophage during the war in 3. (I think it was on twitter but I can’t remember for sure. Just the idea of it stuck with me.) The general sentiment was that this was a dick move on his part, that there were “bigger problems” and this wasn’t the time and it was cruel and manipulative of him to put Shepard in that position. He should have helped out first and Shepard would have helped him back once the war was over. A lot of people chimed in agreeing, saying how they stopped liking Wrex after that. It bothered me for a bunch of reasons I didn’t feel I could adequately articulate, but i’m gonna try now. Prepare for my meandering thought style! The governing bodies of the Mass Effect Galaxy have repeatedly proven that they believe themselves superior to other species and know what’s best for everyone. They don’t let all species have a say in the council, always look out for their own species’ interests in so much as it pertains to keeping things as they are, and will happily go along with literal genocide to aid this. They approve of secret police and biological warfare espionage tactics. They weaponise bureaucracy to hide their cruelty behind ‘oh red tape has us bound, sorry uwu’. I’m going to try to remain pertinent to the Wrex subject but as one great example of these governing bodies ways of dealing with percieved outsiders: The first contact war is a great example of how ludicrous and fascist things are.. ‘It’s ilegal to use this thing so we’re going to kill you for it’ without so much as a heads up. How were humans supposed to know that, exactly? The governing bodies of this place do not care about anyone outside their own self interests. Fall out of line and they will work to end you. Until you prove you might be useful or of interest to them in some way (or a threat). And then of course we later learn the asari were breaking these laws themselves, hoarding this tech to stay superior. Classic. Anyway, back to Wrex. Wrex knows this. Wrex has seen how the krogan are regarded and treated, the dangerous monolith species, outsiders who can never be let in, never forgiven, never given a chance to grow or change. For a long arse time. “But the krogan were getting out of control and also committing genocide, the genophage was a last ditch resort to stop a galactic war” … And it’s been hundreds of years since then. That 'last ditch resort' wasn’t used as a stop gap, a reset to even out the playing field so that new negotiations and relations could be developed. It was used to end the krogan, and has been actively maintained to continue that, ever since. Do you really, truly believe that if Wrex petitioned the council/ world leaders to negotiate reversing the genophage, they’d even let him have an audience with them? And if they did, do you really think these people, with their history and all the shit they pull, would listen and be reasonable? I can already hear the responses, that weaponised bureaucracy (“you raise an interesting point Mr Wrex but unfortunately we are recovering from a war don’t you know, please come back in 300 years for review, we are very interested in discussing this further then!”) Wrex is old, wise and knows exactly what is up. The only way the governing bodies of power were ever going to have a listen, was if he had something they needed. The war with the reapers provided that. And even then, he knew that they wouldn’t listen outright; having Shepard’s voice was a way to get the foot in the door. It makes my heart hurt to think about that honestly; how dehumanising (dekroganising?) it must feel to be the ruler of your people and know that you have to rely on your alien friend to even get someone to listen to you, when what you want to say is an extremely reasonable “hey committing genoicde against my people sucks, stop that now”. Anyway, Wrex was right, this was his one chance to save his people and he took it. Good for him.

#mass effect #urdnot wrex #wrex #my hot take of the day #I usually avoid hot takes because discourse is exhausting #but this one has been revolving in my mind for like a year since I read it #and I read that great post about how dystopian mass effects governments are earlier and my mind has THOUGHTS now

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chrolloluvr · 2 months

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💸 Ways Toxic!Mammon takes over your life as your controlling, doting boyfriend (pt.1?) 💸

Note: Female!Reader, AFAB (Whoever came up w/ voxtok shout out to you!!!), this also takes place before Fizz quit. Also not proofread!

Warnings: semi nsfw, cussing, manipulation, slut shaming, killing, dominance, toxic relationship goals!

Social media. As we all are aware, he has a huge influence online. He has millions and even billion of fans, which he can exploit and persuade very easily. He controls your accounts, people you follow, the things you post (if he even lets you post at all), etc. He controls all of your comments, and filters them. One time, your best friend had left a comment that said, "Damn girl, looking fine ASF", And he was fuming. He forbid you from ever seeing that 'friend' ever again.

You most likely have to make a secret account that you post on. And its very popular. It may consist of you talking about Mammons icks, dancing videos with him (you convinced him, because you told them they were privated.), which all most likely get millions of views. But lets hope Mammon does not find it, or else he will not be happy with you.

How you two as a couple are perceived. He cares alot about his public image. So he will pay out media outlets and news stations to percieve you, himself and your relationship in a good light. So lets say Mammon is getting "cancelled", (he never in a million years actually would, too many people look up to him and adore him.) for bringing supposed groupies backstage after an event he is hosting. Even if he actually did, he would pay the media huuuge amounts of money to get himself out of trouble. Same goes for you. Your poor choices reflect onto him as well, since you two are a very public couple.

Like I have said before in previous posts, you two are definitely the most watched, reported and popular couple in Hell. Sinners and native demons admire the dynamic between you two. So lets say you lash out at a fan for getting their camera too close to you? And then that fan posts footage on Voxtok or Sinstagram, you may get some backlash.

Lets be honest, Mammon probably wont jump to defend you unless it involves him in some way. If it does not involve him, he will block some people by logging into your account, (because he knows all of your passwords), but nothing more.

The clothes you wear. He buys you your clothes, so in his mind, he has every right to choose what goes on your body. If he sees you wearing something revealing, he will tell you 'you look like a slut babe. Where are you going, the fuckin' strip club?' He says shit like that even if your showing an inch of stomach. He for the most part wants you to wear things he chooses. He prefers if you two are matching all the time, but if you are just going out to get groceries, he likes when you wear oversized sweatshirts/hoodies, with leggings. I know its an oddly specific combo, but he thinks it doesn't show off any of your supple skin, and you look so appealing. Especially if its a brand Mammon owns. Mans will go feral. I feel like every time you leave the house with or without him, he will be sitting on the couch, saying 'C'mon, you know the drill cutie. show daddy what your gonna wear, yeah?'

He loves it when he sees you in a natural, underdressed state alone at home. His by far most treasured thing he likes to see on you, is you either in your bra and matching panties, or you in an oversized t shirt and panties with no bra. He especially likes those really dainty, "girly" colors and patterns. He likes seeing you dress feminine.

Calling him daddy. Yes you heard me. He has a huge power influx, and having you call him that fuels the fire in his ego. If its the morning, and you yawn and stretch out a tired, 'good mornin' daddy', he is hard. And this isn't even a fully sexual thing for him, since he isnt all that sexual extremely often. He just loves being called daddy. But if it were somebody else calling him that, they would get the death stare and an upset Mammon. But with you, he likes dominating you. So call him daddy. It will get him in a good mood, and If you want something from him? A daddy or two wont hurt.

Who you talk to. Once you two are together, he with subtly cut people out of your life that he thinks are a threat to your relationship. He will try to cut off any of your male friends or if you had any, your ex's. This sneaky man will probably send photos of you giving him head that he took without your permission. And he will never tell you he did that. Anyways, once he gets rid of all of these people, he will convince you that 'ohhh, princess, c'mon dont get your panties in a twist. Maybe they are just on vacation, you dont gotta act like a little whiny bitch-'. And by vacation, he means threatened, or killed.

He does not want you being influenced by anybody but himself. And especially not by any men. One of his many influx of issues is his jealousy/possession, (which I will get into on another post.) SO really the only other person besides himself that you can talk to are people he has met, and are proven to him to not uphold any power against him.

Meaning he will never let you meet Asmodeus. He is a horrible influence in his mind, and he does not was Ozzie to make you aware of his manipulation tactics. He may let you meet Beelz or Lucifer, but never Ozzie. He is the embodiment of lust, which is like toxic waste for your mind.

You bank account. If you need him to send funds, he will as long as you give him a little kiss on the cheek. But if you have been a bad girl, you might need to work for his money. If he is feeling particularly nice today, he will text you, sending a photo of the transfered funds he sent you, reading 25k+ sent. He loathes in the 'oh no you didn't have to Mamm' he gets from you, or the 'I feel bad, send it back!' Because in reality, he does not like to spend his money on anything useless. And to him, you aren't useless. So sharing some of his "hard earned" cash truly shows how he trusts and believes you wont go out on a limb for him.

And plus, now that your with him, he has taken all of your funds. He wont tell you that, even thought it didn't matter, considering how little you had compared to his trillion dollar net worth. So if you ever do stupidly decide to leave him, you wont be able to.

Puts a tracker on you, or has his goons follow you. This is another thing you are blissfully unaware of. He has an unreleased app on his phone, where he can see wherever you are at all times. While you were sleeping in your shared bedroom, he would put a tracker chip deep into you ear. So that he doesn't have to worry about his most prized possession running away when he isn't around. Or if he cant physically see you and he wants to? He has some loan sharks or his bodyguards follow you silently. I think awhile back, Mammon developed "Mammons Super Secret Spy Glasses", a product made for naive kids, and was released to the masses. But that transformed into an opportunity to exploit his goons into using them to spy on you. Do they want to creepily follow you? No. But can they refuse. Absolutely not. Nobody can refuse Mammon.

If somebody does take you somewhere, he will have his goons kill them, but come to the location and make it look like he killed them for your sake.

Controls where you can and cant go. He 100% does this. He wouldn't even let you in the vicinity of any kind of smoke shop, strip club, etc. He wants you to stay innocent, and naive for him. Meaning he will never let you in the lust ring, which alludes to the fact that him and Ozzie... aren't on the best terms per say. But will let you in any other ring under severe supervision. He cant have you doing any stupid shit to mess with his public image.

He wont even let you roam around in his own ring, because he is well aware of how dangerous it has become. He doesn't want his pretty little thing being kidnapped by some dirty, greasy men on the streets. But if you really want to go somewhere, he will let you go near there, but he will cover your eyes with his top two hands, and guide your waist with his bottom pair of hands somewhere he deems safe.

I also think he would follow you to the bathroom, and he would definitely offer to (does anyways) wipe for you.

How you act. Once you two are together, you will learn things the Mammon way. He will teach you how to become his esteemed future wife, and soon you might even have his kids (when he feels like babytrapping you, but that might be a later work.) He will teach you his version of manners, such as how to sit properly on his lap, teaching you how to french kiss (Which he assumes is your first time kissing somebody), How to sit still properly on his large cock, How to rock your hips just right-

He just wants you to be prepared for him. If he comes home at night, he expects the usual kiss on the cheek, asking him how his day was, and then the finale, which consists of your naked body and your legs being spread wider than his shit eating grin. He just wants to be ready to blow your back out, not having to worry about wasting time.

In the morning, he wants his breakfast served by none other than his obedient little princess. Then, he wants you to personally brush and floss his teeth. Then, he wants you to pick his outfit. (you will never truly get a say, he just wants to know from your perspective what makes him sexier.) And finally, the finishing act, holding your hair tightly into a makeshift ponytail, while he bobs your head up and down his cock.

Sexually frustrating you. After a while, you will miss his sexual touches. You will begin to crave them, as you will find yourself wanting him more and more. He is just so good at eating your pussy, and making you feel like your on cloud 9.

So don't be suprised if you find yourself humping his leg, as he bounces his thigh up and down to try and overstimulate you.

Makes you come to his shows. He will drag you to them. He does not care how tired you are, you will be there and sit pretty. He will let you in for free, but if you want a piece of merchandise, or some popcorn, he will make you pay. (even though its his money). When you first start dating, that is the case. But now that you two are officially an item? You sit up on the terrace with him in his webs. He has two of his left side arms wrapped around you, while he forces you to hand feed him.

And sometimes people catcall you from up above. One time, a couple dudes got drunk of Beelzejuice, and started berading you. By asking you to flash a peek of your tits, and show a little pussy. You were highly offended, but Mammon was not happy.

Those guys ended up in the E.R., but they would have died if it weren't for your expertise in calming Mammons temper. After that little incident, Mammon had later that day taken your ass on a one way ticket to pound town. So you can thank those guys, I guess...

Anyways, what if you need to use the bathroom during a show? He pauses the entire thing, because he wants you to watch how good of a planner and mastermind he is at pageants. Will literally wait outside of the bathroom door for you, and checks his watch if your taking "too long".

But anyways, he will also try to get you and Fizzarolli to be friends, since both of you are basically brainwashed by him.

The things you buy. He will not ever let you buy any cheap shit. Its a bad look on his behalf. So every time you two go out, you have to ask him if you can get something. If he deems it as "not doing anything for your look", he will make you put it back. And this goes for everything. Online orders, Voxtok shop (tiktok shop), etc. It always has to be approved by him.

Also, he will never let you buy any sex toys. He thinks his fingers, tongue and dick are more than plenty. If you ask him for any sex toys, he will call you an ungrateful little whore. So its best if you don't ask, unless you want Mammons over the top mumbling and grumbling.

Emotionally manipulating you. He will do this all the time. If he ever does something wrong, he will never admit to it. He will either never glaze over it, or will turn it on you somehow. It will start with his angry grunting, huffing, and puffing. If you ever ask him if he is ok, he will literally whip his head towards you and give you the most deadly glare you will ever see. His Aussie accent will come out very abruptly when he's mad.

Throw the worlds biggest temper tantrums. Sometimes you think hes a baby in an adult mans body. Some of his have gone on for days on end. He will pull every trick in the book. Whining and fake crying are things he has tried to use on you.

If he is really ruffled up, he will start yelling at you for no reason whatsoever. He just yells a bunch of belligerent bullshit, and does not give any reason why. Truly, the best thing to do to calm him down is spread your legs nice and wide, and let him lap at your cunt for hours. If he is 'borderline dangerous' mad, he will refuse to talk to you for a couple days. Even if you try, he wont budge. Deep down, he cares for you. And he knows that if he gives in, he might hurt you.

If he wants something from you, he will flash his infamous puppy dog eyes. (Bottom photo below), But if he is annoyed with you, he will make the deadly glare (Top photo below)

So, just try your best to keep him calm and happy. Even if that is through means you don think are necessary 💚

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stick-ball · 6 months

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saw a hc about jean moreau being hyper sexual especially post-ravens. thoughts? feelings?

thoughts AND feelings! Oh the joy of being given a chance for a hot second to discuss this. You came to the right place my love. ❤️

Trigger and age warning : rape, sex connected trauma, dissociation, psychological abuse, controlling relationships, discussion of sexual acts.

Okay so, being hyper sexual. You know who does that in the books? Andrew actually. I know some might look at me weirdly rn like, 'what the hell are you talking about, he doesn't let anyone touch him'. Yeah, that's true! But that doesnt take away from the knee jerk reaction. (I'm sorry I know this isn't exactly what you asked but I need to discuss andrew first, and that has a lot to do with jean, bear with me).

Andrew finds a partner that he can to some limit trust (leverage, deals, careful observation, "training" them to behave how he tells them) to follow his instructions, which gives him a sense of control. They can fuck, but it's him who's doing it. It's him who's touching, kissing ect. The other person, of course if they consent, get to partake but not create the experience. It's one of the very, very valid scenarios of hyper sexuality as a responce to rape. He is rewriting every poisoned nerve ending in his body. He doesn't actually get off from the sex. For his own release he needs privacy, as shown in the books. Andrew's problem can be, that due to his truly inhumane trauma he can fall into the mindset of defining his sense of self through sex. It's an action and he's a tool in this scenario. Then again, We circle back to control, which is also a key feature of his decisions and protectiveness. Taking total control of the situation which used to be utterly outside of it, with no way out of it. Rewriting it, giving the traumatic experience a positive ending, hell an ending - when, and as suddenly as he might want it to end, is the motivator here. I think what he finds satisfying in terms of sex, not control, is giving sexual consent to his partners and, which he finds just as important, them giving it to him. Because it wasn't given to him. It's a way of building trust.

The motivations sound pretty nice, even if heartbreaking, don't they? Seem uplifting? The problem is, even if in good faith, this process can be very harmful, trauma surviviors mention that (at least ones I discussed it with personally) it feels good, but in the long run it does what this type of coping mechanism always does to your brain (similiar reactions can be seen for different traumas), which is hurt it. It's a form of desensitisation that limits your brain's ability to percieve the situation. It's hard to rewrite and leads to hot and cold kind of reactions, so yeah, having a relationship with a capital R is, difficult. That's what I always understood as Nora saying they are never actually okay (andrew and neil). Or at least partly understood it as.

Okay, so this cleared a couple things up. Now JEAN. Jean and Andrew share some factors of their trauma. While not treated as such, Jean was technically fostered by the Moriyamas, and well, Andrew's experiences with being fostered are faaaaar from what it's supposed to be as well. The difference is in Andrew's situation everyone tried to pretend the horror is not happening, there must have been a lot of manipulation and coercion and just plain fucking gaslighting in these houses. Its hard to talk about but I can imagine some of these monsters wanted him to act like he is enjoying it, and thats just out if the emotional range of dealing with for anyone. Jean knew he's in a trap from day one. Moreover, when it comes to the rape's he was victim of it was ordered by Riko to be done by others. That's a different level of fucked up. What's even more important as distinction here is he stopped, when Jean stopped reacting and fighting it. Because what Riko wanted wasn't violation, that was the tool. He wanted to psychologically break him. When the fish stops flailing on the cat stops pushing it around.

And Riko was constant, his modus operandi was regular, and the psychological torture was the motivator behind most of his "conditioning" of Jean. This is a situation where the abuse has a cause for the victim. It sounds sick and I don't agree with it, but it's a game in their mind. In the books we can see that he learned how to limit the amount of attention Riko gave him and as we know he is not confrontational like Andrew with his problems. And yeah I don't mention Neil as confrontational here bcs he has conditioned himself to run from everything and say he's fine to everything so..., sometimes it erupts frk mit but that's not exactly the same, its a last resort.

Circling back, I think Jean is more likely to be sex repulsed. For him sex, which was a form of punishment, is a cause of anxiety. Sexual tension is easy to mix up with nervous tension because of a feeling of losing control of the situation. That's why if we do get romance in the new book, I am putting my money on it being very messy from his pov. The magical thing about trauma responces though, is that they're not black and white, and someone who is sex repulsed might also seek an ending to their anxieties through it. Yet, it's ts a bit of an opposite motivation to the one Andrew has. When Andrew thinks of himself as a tool, Jean is more likely to think of himself as an object. There's a difference. While Andrew wants to take control, Jean is more likely to use it as either a way to retraumatise himself - so his version of hypersexuality would include less control and more roughness and violence, actually trying to rile the partner up. It might stemm for him from low self worth or be a way of letting out his angers and frustrations. It's not that he is used to being hurt, it's that he doesn't expect anything different. I also think he is more likely to have problems with opening up in therapy. Where Andrew is active Jean is passive, and the opposite. The upside is he might actually be more likely to communicate emotionally than through rules and laws, it will take longer, but be a smoother transition, because more people understand it than Andrew's way of building relationships.

Hope this anwser satisfies you, I'm sorry if I got a bit carried away. 😅

#jean moreau hc #jean moreau #and #andrew minyard #i suppose #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #jean moreau headcanon #the sunshine court #the sunshine court hc #aftg headcanon

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laugtherhyena · 1 year

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Fuck you *categorizes your moonscorches*

Earlier today i was chatting with my friends and it made me think a lot about the moonscorched forms of the termina cast and what they represent, the conversation itself was about Daan and Elise's relationship and how i personally don't think we can use Stitches as an accurate way to read her character due to moonscorch.

Because the moonscorch forms are at their core a distorted version of someone, however the way in which they're distorted tends to vary a lot between characters to the point that in order to understand what way that is you need to know who they were as humans, which is something we can't do with Elise since she's a background character who we never interact or see when she was alive.

This made me want to look into and try to categories the termina participants moonscorch forms in the way i think the distortion potrays them as, which it's not accurate to them as people in most cases.

-Daan: "This isn't who i am"

There's nothing about Pocketcat that resembles Daan aside from his physical appearance and a couple odd lines (of which i feel like may happen because he is a fresh new body for Pocketcat? So he still has a few of Daan's memories and mannerisms but those will likely fade away the longer he stays in that body) because he's just a creature who took over his body, Pocketcat is not Daan and Daan is not Pocketcat. I personally don't even count this as a moonscorch form, but sources tend to group him with the others, so i might as well add him in this list.

-Abella and Marcoh: "This isn't who i am, but what the world percieves me as"

To look at the Chaugnar and conclude that Abella is a rude and violent person is just straight up wrong. Abella as a person is kind, sweet and caring, but not only is her profession something uncommon for women to have in that time period but she actively works for an organization that values her skills and not her as a person.

It's easy to percive her as something she isn't judging solely by appearance and/or an abridged description of her character. This is what the Chaugnar is, it's Abella being potrayed as the mindless brute she doesn't want to be seen as.

The same thing happens with Marcoh, his background, his connection to mobsters, his reputation as a street boxer, all of those things can paint the image of Marcoh as a dangerous and violent man when in reality he is genuinely a good person at heart.

-Levi, Marina and Olivia: "This isn't who i want to be"

These the most upsetting form of moonscorch in my opinion because the distress and agony the characters are going through it's incredibly apparent.

Levi despises wars, they took so much away from him and gave nothing but trauma and addiction in return. He hates being associate with them which is why Weeping scope cries as he relentlessly scratches the gun on his head, it's Levi desperately trying separate himself from wars and violence, unfortunately to no avail.

Following her father's footsteps is not something Marina wants nor does she feel like she has to, the idea that her life has been decided from the moment she was born by someone else is something she hates. Marina's moonscorch is her being forced into this role and being controled by another person, a parasite that has logged itself onto her body and now gives her orders on everything she has to do.

This last one may be a little more of a stretch, i don't know Olivia as well as i know the other two, but her moonscorch being a giant machine that continuously poisons you through the fight makes me think about how much Olivia hates feeling like she's a bother to others and that a group would do better without her to "slow them down". There's also the fact that she's a botanist and machines are pretty much the polar opposite of the nature she cares so much about.

-Tanaka and Henryk: "This is who i need to be"

Judgement is pretty much the embodiment of Tanaka's feelings about how as the head of his family and their main source of income he needs to keeping going regardless of his mental of physical state, it doesn't matter if he's hurt or exhausted he needs to continue working, he has to, the grind never stops! Because this is what he thinks will make him the perfect eldest son.

Now this other one is heavily tied with my personal interpretation of Henryk's character; which is a man who, coming from a career that's usually not seen as very "manly", wants to fit in and conform with society's expectations of how a man is supposed to be because he hates the feeling of rejection.

That's why the Gentleman is, well, a gentleman. It's the kind of person Henryk feels like he needs to be. He's big, strong and moreover he's a leader, the mayor or Prehevil, it makes me think a lot about how men are expected to grow into strong leading figures just for the sake of being a guy.

-Samarie and O'saa: "This is who i should be"

Truth be told O'saa is one of the characters in this game i know the least about, so i had to get some help from my friend Marco on this and at the end of the day we thought this category was the best to describe his moonscorch. O'saa doesn't live by anyone else's rules, be it the government, the gods, he doesn't even follow the rules of the yellow mages, the Mastermind may be a manifestation of his ego as in if he isn't following them then he surely must be above all of these forces? Hard to say.

Now Samarie is a weird one, i don't really know where to start? So i think I'll do it by the name lf her moonscorch form, Dysmorphia, which is when someone obsseses over one or more aspects of their body that they consider a flaw. From her lines i get the feeling that Samarie really doesn't like herself that much and reading her mind mostly shows her calling herself a fool or a fucking idiot, so it's plausible that this dislike towards herself also applies to physical appearance and not just her as a person.

My friend once pointed out that Dysmorphia looks like the opposite of Samarie and while he said it in a joke manner i do feel like there's some logic behind it; Samarie has long hair but Dysmorphia has none, Samarie is skinny and bony while Dysmorphia is big and round, Samarie is always with a tired and kinda sad expression while Dysmorphoria apears to be smiling. It could be that Samarie hates herself so much that she sees this monstrosity that's the opposite of her as "perfect form" of sorts? She does say that she's radiating as Dysmorphia, i guess it's food for thought.

Because really this entire section is mostly me theorizing/speculating because these two were the hardest characters for me to categorize on this.

-Karin and Caligura: "This is who i trully am"

This is one of the most interesting moonscorch categories because they're the only ones that accurately potray who these characters are despite being distortions of their human selves.

Karin is the Valkyrie, she genuinely believes she's doing a good thing with her work, that she's is imortalizing these fallen soldiers and giving them the recognition they deserve. At the same time she knows those who criticize her work have a point, she makes a living out talking about these tragedies like a vulture that feeds of a corpse on the side of the road, yet she sticks to her beliefs that what she does is good at the end of the day.

Meanwhile Caligura is undeniably a vile disgusting man, he is a monster inside and out. So seing him as a giant scrotum that stays submerged in gross sewer water does a good job at summarizing who he is as a person.

#my head hurts soooo bad but that won't stop me from writing all this shit down #i NEEDED to get this out of my system #fear and hunger #fear and hunger temrina #moonscorch #funger #f&h #long post #hyena ramblings

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warrioreowynofrohan · 2 years

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One of the most striking and consistent features of Tolkien’s works is that the people who think they’re the hero of the story never are.

In The Hobbit, Thorin & Company (less Bilbo, who feels lost and out of place continually) think they’re the heroes of a story where they kill Smaug and regain their kingdom and treasure - and then Smaug is killed by Bard, a character who isn’t even introduced until the moment of Smaug’s attack. And Thorin decides that the person responsible for the death of Smaug, without whom Thorin would have no treasure and also be dead, is his enemy. Self-appointed heroes tend not to like it when someone else displaces them from their role in the story.

In The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion, the pattern recurs again and again and again, both with some very sympathetic characters and some outright villainous ones. We see it in characters who are jealous for prominence and position, but also in some who mean well and have concluded that all the burden of saving/protecting the world lies upon them. The common thread is the conviction that the world will only be saved if people do what the self-appointed hero wants, how they want it, when they want it, and - in the most severe cases - only if they specifically follow and offer their support to the hero in doing it. If someone isn’t backing up the hero, they are assumed to be not contributing.

Boromir: “those who shelter behind us give us praise…much praise but little help.” ‘Doom’ he interprets as “the doom of Minas Tirith.” And, later, when the Ring has gained more hold on him: “How I would drive the hosts of Mordor, and all men would flock to my banner!”

And Denethor: “Yet the Lord of Gondor is not to be made the tool of other men’s purposes, however worthy. And to him there is no purpose higher in the world as it now stands than the good of Gondor.” Later falling to, “I will not step down to be the dotard chamberlain of an upstart!”

Neither of them are fundamentally ill-meaning; both of them fall prey to the idea that they are the world’s only hope of standing against Sauron, and break under that burden.

Less well-meaning, but nonetheless only gradually corrupted until near the end, is Saruman: “hindered rather than helped by pur weak or idle friends”. Again, he percieves himself as the only chance of defeating - or controlling/manipulating - Sauron.

And more cases in The Silmarillion, of characters who have determined that they are the hero and following their lead is the contribution that counts. Fëanor and his following, and indeed the Noldor in general, going to Middle-earth to overthrow Morgoth, and deciding that anyone who does not back them is idle or cowardly or traitorous. Túrin, who again and again insists that if you are not doing things the way Túrin wants, you are not doing anything. Watch in particular for the repeated theme that dissent=cowardice.

Fëanor: “Say farewell to ease! Say farewell to the weak!…Let the cowards keep this city!” And “If Fëanor cannot overthrow Morgoth, at least he delays not to assail him, and sits not idle in grief.” And “fainthearted loiterers.” And “needless baggage on the road.” It is worth recalling that the Valar are not as idle as Fëanor thinks, and their largest contribution prior to the War of Wrath - the creation of the Sun - is a major blow to Morgoth, and orcs dread and shun the Sun through the whole First Age and after.

Túrin: When Beleg questions the effectiveness of his strategy: “I will be the captain of my own host, and if I fall, then I fall. Here I stand in the path of Morgoth, and while I so stand he cannot use the southward road. For that in Nargothrond there should be some thanks; and even help with needful things.” This does not acknowledge that the ability of Morgoth’s armies to come south in force is itself a consequence of Beleg leaving Doriath to aid Túrin; prior to that, Doriath had held Dimbar and kept the orcs back.[1] So Túrin is claiming prime credit for solving a problem that he has, in effect, caused. Then in Nargothrond, to Gwindor: “And do those that you speak of love such skulkers in the woods?” And to Gelmir and Arminas: “runagate…get you back to the safe shores of the sea.” (It is worth noting that here, as well as when Fëanor calls the Noldor who do not want to return to Middle-earth cowards, the narrative observes outright that such accusations are false.) And then to Aerin, who has a bravery he could never imagine and cannot comprehend: “A faint heart is yours, Aerin Indor’s daughter…you were made for a kinder world.”

I recognize that Túrin is a complex character, as are most of the others I have mentioned. My point here is that there is a consistent thread running through Tolkien’s works, that however well-meaning these attitudes may be, they are ultimately destructive.

The great victories come from characters with wholly other attitudes. The ones who don’t think that they are the one hero who can or has to fix everything; who look at insurmountable perils and say this is too big for me, but I will do what I can. And those who recognize that they play one part among many, and not the most important one. That is Frodo and Sam; that is Merry and Pippin. That is Legolas and Gimli, who, standing in Helm’s Deep awaiting battle, recognize that their own peoples far away the same dangers, and they are not the only ones fighting. This is Aragorn, who uses the hero-delusion as a façade to trick Sauron, walking into a trap on the slim hope that it may aid Frodo. This is Beren and Lúthien, who say this is beyond me and I don’t know what I’m doing, but for the sake of the one I love I must try, and succeed because of that. This is Tuor, who gets destiny thrust upon him despite - perhaps because of - the fact that he is not looking for it. This is Elrond, who plays a supporting role in every conflict he is placed in, who aids and shelters and advises and heals and does not rule.

It is entirely fitting that the man who wrote “the medievals were only too right in taking nolo episcopari as the best reason a man could give to others for making him a bishop” wrote stories enshrining the idea that nolo heros was the best qualification for being a hero. And likewise perfectly fitting that the temptation offered by the Ring - to people of essential decency - is not deliberate, selfish despotism, but the exact conviction or attitude or temptation described above: you’re the hero, you’re the one who can fix everything. “For the way of the Ring to my heart is pity, pity for weakness and the desire of strength to do good.” “In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen” - and Sam echoing in plainer language Galadriel’s temptation - “You’d put things to rights…You’d make some folk pay for their dirty work” - and Galadriel recognizing the deception of the temptation - “That is how it would begin. But it would not stop with that, alas!” Boromir’s vision of armies flocking to his banner, and Sam’s of “Samwise the strong, Hero of the Age.” And, at the end, it fits with with Tolkien’s description of Sauron - the temptation that the Ring is offering to these good characters is the very temptation that Sauron himself initially fell to, the desire to fix everything, make everything work properly.

Tolkien’s conception of the real hero, rather than the self-appointed one, echoes at last the Ainulindalë and the Valar: the idea that creation and shaping and changing the world are fundamentally a collaborative effort, born of and enriched by the visions and contributions of many people, not by some static programme.

[1] The Narn mentions that while Beleg searches for Túrin the first time Dimbar is overrun by orcs, who are then able to reach to the east of Brethil, which they had not before. When Beleg returns to Dimbar the orcs are driven back; but when he joins Túrin at Amon Rudh, Dimbar is taken and the orcs come south again.

#tolkien #the silmarillion #the lord of the rings #the hobbit #thorin #boromir #denethor #feanor #túrin #frodo baggins #sam gamgee #beren #lúthien #elrond #galadriel #gandalf #sauron

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prettyboypistol · 9 months

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Mercs Reacting To a Kabedon! (TF2 x M!Reader) +18

For reference if you don't know, a kabedon is this pose!

You were being teased by the merc, relentless smiles, winks, and coy mururs that they knew turned you on. Eventually, you snapped. You grabbed the merc by the wrist and slammed them against the wall, unable to care about who overheard or saw you. You could barely contain your emotions as you grit out into thier ear.

"If you don't come back to my room with me, I will drag you by the back of your goddamn neck, boy."

Scout

As soon as you pin him to the wall, he was flushed red. When the words left your mouth, especially calling him "boy", a shiver went up his spine. He wanted tp argue, to talk back, but any words came out as mumbled mess. He dumbly nodded and whimpered in response. Your offer has Jeremy tripping over himself to follow you. He gets shit the next day for sobbing a little too loud into your pillows about how much Jeremy wants his daddy to fuck him silly.

Pyro

They weren't intending to rile you up so much, but that's certainly a plus! Pyro loves how they can make you blush and squirm, especially since you express it as huffiness and annoyance. They like the way they can just gesture and get you hot under the collar. Your proposition is heavily considered, but Pyro makes you wait in your room for a painstaking moment before they come in and finally give you what you want.

Soldier

Is very red under his helmet, but also a little insulted that you humiliated him in such a public manner and undermined his percieved and self-believed authority. Don't get him wrong, Jane is having the biggest confused boner of his life and he will swiftly join you in your room after he fully processes the situation, but he needs a minute to figure out what feelings you just made him feel for the first time.

Demoman

Is more than overjoyed that you finally had enough of your mutal game of cat and mouse. It had been what- weeks since you and Tavish had started dancing around each other? The demeaning pet name made Tavish want to yank your pants down and suck you off that minute, other mercs be damned. Tavish hummed with a smug smirk as he pushed his hips into you, an invitation after you gave your orders. Needless to say, no mercs got sleep that night until you two passed out.

Heavy

You were not the shortest guy around, but pinning Heavy is moreso due to Heavy letting you pin him rather than you actually having the strength to do so. Nevertheless, the look in your eye and the desperate and demanding tone in your tone makes Mikhail know exactly what you want and how you are going to have it. He finds it endearing in a way, but still allowed you to take control that night. After all, he was "your boy" tonight, you made that abundantly clear.

Engineer

Flushed red. Goggles fogged. Stutter in full gear. Dell is the smoothest southern gent around, yet in front of the pissed off nd lowkey horny glare of the man in front of him, Dell was barely able to squeak out a response. He felt humiliated that the other mercs could see how easily he was flustered- worried slightly that he would get some shit for being even more soft than just relying on machines in battle. He takes a few minutes before joining you in your room, but wants to have a talk about how you kinda made him nervous. (After sex tho. you turned him the FUCK on.)

Medic

Overjoyed at your cute little response! He's a rather tall fellow, so you trying to pin him to the wall was adorable. It might be the beer in his system, but Ludwig was rather taken by your final push and admittance of feelings... Even if those feelings were "i'm going to fuck you" and "I'm going to bend that german ass over and rearrange your guts". Gingerly followed you to your room, but he gets his fair amount of gropes in. The most receptive to your snap and 100% wants to kiss the scowl away.

Spy

Mixed feelings when you easily box him in against the wall. His dainty frame never stood a chance as your hot breath made him shiver. He was a fair bit older than you, your guess was a minimum of 5 years. When you called him "boy", he felt a breath of his wild and young livlihood in his veins. The impulsive energy of lust and spontaneous desire pangs in him and he can't help but chase the high. Spy murmured something in french and dragged you to his room.

Sniper

Mick isn't too surprised by your reaction, but definitely struggled against the grip as you warned him. As soon as you released him, Sniper hid his face in his hat to try and (fail) to hide the blush that painted his cheeks. He doesn't join you in your room, but cannot think about anything else but that lustful cadence in your voice and how blown your pupils were. After a few days, he knocked on your door and asked if the offer still stood.

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