#im the clingy one and i feel so anxious bc i mean im so fucking annoying and i talk way too much and i psuh everyone away being so awful

[silenthillbunni]

sometimes i fantasize abt being the one with the clingy gf instead of being the clingy gf ㅠㅠ

#like... #getting tons of texts all the time. having playlists made for me. uhh what else do the clingy gf do??? #ask me abt every single detail of my day and life and personality. hmm write love letters to me. make a collage book w memories for me #read a book where on girl did that for the others and she belittled it and ridiculed her and i was like WTF?!?!? #if a gf did that to me i would DIE FOR HER!!!!! wtf that is so cute #i dont know sometimes i just think that'd be nice #to instead of being the clinger i'd have her clingy for me #well it's all just daydreams idk i was just imagining a scenario w a gf who blew up my phone when i was at work #i dont have a job but like it was all a fantasy lmaoooo. and ig the thought is nice bc irl #im the clingy one and i feel so anxious bc i mean im so fucking annoying and i talk way too much and i psuh everyone away being so awful #idk if 'she' would be clingy w me i like now i love her and can reassure her #so rlly its just all about me..... hmmm selfcest? 👀

[girlwithfish]

i used to be really afraid of my ex leaving me bc hed say stuff like how can anyone love u or no one else would put up w this etc and esp last yr of relationship i was really clingy and constantly asking if he loved me when my bpd was at its worse lol so i never really wanna b in a place like thst ever again and i tell myself im not afraid of this guy leaving me if thst does happen/relationship doesnt work out in general im usually not that worried abt it or feel i can manage but also whenever i sense something is off i will avoid him as fuck like today lol i was kind of scared he wouldnt like me anymore bc i avoided himall day and acted kinda weird after we had a serious ish conversation and i mean i talked to him later after i slept.for 3 hrs to avoid dealing w how i felt bc i was splitting a little i think lol but i prob should have told him i just needed space but i hate asking for that or saying it idk why i guess in my last relationship the issue a lot of times was my ex could not give.me space ever physically too sooooo im afraid to ask for it. but im also like im not afraid of relationship not working out itso nly been a month no big deal maybe itd suck a little but i thinkid be normally sad about it but i am very avoidant and my feelings turn off for him when i sense somethings off and i shut down and i feel how i was feeling today was rly strangr and scary i didnot feel good and then i started thinking abt.my ex and the abuse so that just upset me and put me in a really hyperaroused anxious state and i kinda felt like just not myself idk. Im fine now and we talked a bit 👍

#i dont think im as afraid of abandonment anymore but i will self sabotage and leave them first the moment i think they will leave me ^-^

[seita]

— they say something hurtful to you.

ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs: ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ + ᴋʏᴏᴛᴀɴɪ.

now for some angst bc that was all fluffy, how about kyotani/oikawa losing their cool and saying something really hurtful to their s/o? (like maybe smth they know she’s insecure or touchy about)? ─ @strawbirb​

⤑ 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  ««

ur speakin my language. im a sucker for these. i honestly eat this trope up like candy.

— tooru oikawa.

∴ when tooru oikawa was scorned, he was a demon. ∴ he had seen some random guys flirting with you. ∴ and in his stupid brain he assumed you were flirting back. ∴ when in reality you were telling them you had a wonderful boyfriend. ∴ jealousy was an ugly trait and he knew that. ∴ but instead of talking to you about how he felt ∴ he let it fester. ∴ and it grew and grew for days. ∴ until one day it boiled over. ∴ you watched him mess around with a couple fangirls, grinning and flirting. ∴ your chest grew tighter but you didn’t intervene. ∴ perhaps that was a mistake on your part. ∴ bc when you got home and you were just as ticked off as he had been, things got out of hand quickly. ∴ ”why are you so pissy?” he grumbled, downing half a water bottle before putting the remaining bottle in the fridge. ∴ ”you were feeding into those girls’ obsession with you tooru!” you cried, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance. ∴ he rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “it’s not like you don’t do the same thing.” ∴ ”what the hell are you talking about?” you reply incredulously. ∴ he scoffs, “you know exactly what i’m talking about.” ∴ and obviously you didn’t so you told him such. ∴ unfortunately, it dissolved into a fight rather quickly. ∴ oikawa was always rather quick to be combative that it wasn’t long before things were escalating. ∴ ”you know,” he laughs, so cold it sends a shiver down you spine as you fall silent, your own argument dying on your lips. ∴ “i sometimes seriously wonder why i dated you,” he hissed, fists clenched in anger. ∴ those words had you stopped, eyes wide and teary. ∴ the words especially hurt because before the two of you got together, there had been another girl vying for his attention. ∴ it had been an insecurity of yours from the beginning of your relationship ∴ and he knew it. ∴ so for him to say that to you, knowing it would hurt you. ∴ you bit your lip, fighting back tears. ∴ ”that’s real low tooru...” your voice shook at you spoke and finally caused oikawa to calm down a bit. ∴ he quickly realized what he said and immediately reached out for you ∴ ”_____, i-i’m sorry i didn’t mean─ ” ∴ ”just save it,” you snapped, pushing past him to go to the front door. ∴ he watched you go, realizing he had no right to chase after you after saying something like that to you. ∴ when the door slammed, he let out a loud breath ∴ he was left wondering if that was a breakup or not.

— kentaro kyotani.

∴ when you and kyotani got together, he made a promise to himself to treat you well. ∴ he knew the way he acted. ∴ he was mean, cold, had a glare that could melt faces. ∴ he had no idea how he managed to snag someone like you. ∴ you were so sweet and gentle. ∴ especially towards him. ∴ so when he found himself having shit days, he usually let you know and avoided you just in case. ∴ and you understood. ∴ but one day, he had been so busy he hadn’t had the opportunity to relay his feelings to you. ∴ until it was too late. ∴ he got home after a l o n g day. ∴ and you were there, waiting for him with fresh takeout. ∴ you immediately began bombarding him with questions about his day. ∴ you helped him take off his coat, and ushered him to the living room where  you began to giving him the food you ordered just for him. ∴ it was his favorite from that little family owned shop down the block. ∴ any other time he would have felt nothing but grateful. ∴ but today your flittering hands and nonstop talking just set him off. ∴ he could blame it on his bad day. ∴ but that wouldn’t quite be fair. ∴ “can you just fucking stop!” he explodes, jumping to his feet. ∴ you stop, eyes wide as your mouth opens in shock. ∴ “i--” ∴ “shut up!” he snaps, “just stop talking. i’m tired of hearing you.” ∴ you don’t say anything, clearly backing down but for some reason he couldn’t stop. ∴ “it’s every day with it. i get home and you never give me a moment to breathe. do you know how suffocating you are?!” ∴ he could see the tears welling up in your eyes but he was on a roll, unleashing all the frustration of the day unfairly upon you. ∴ “has anyone ever told you that you’re clingy? because you are. you’re annoying the shit out of me so could you just leave me the fuck alone?!” ∴ when he was done, his shoulders are heaving and his fists are clenched. ∴ but you’re silent, wringing your hands in that anxious little way he’s so familiar with. ∴ “um...” you clear your throat but keep your eyes trained on the ground, “i-i’m sorry that...you feel that way. i’ll uh...i’ll work on it.” ∴ he’s stunned at your response. ∴ he doesn’t know what to say so ∴ he says nothing.

»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  ««  

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #oikawa x reader #kyotani x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #oikawa imagines #kyotani imagines #oikawa toru x reader #kyotani kentaro x reader #toru oikawa x reader #kentaro kyotani x reader #hq.headcanons #oikawa.headcanons #kyotani.headcanons #filled.request #request:strawbirb

[bytedykes]

magnus cat brain.... flopping his whole body on top of alec when they finally see each other after a few days of work keeping them apart. “can’t move my cat sat on me” but it’s alec when he’s got a phone call with magnus on him

YES <33 alec jokingly pretends it inconveniences him but he loves it!! he loves it sm!! alec is like *big eyeroll* i guess i will just have to stay in today... and magnus is like haha yes... how unfortunate... and then they dont move at all for another 2 hours<3

ok feelings time!! magnus has probably been told he is "too much" (by which i mean he definitely has lol) and denied affection, especially physical affection, so at first he's probably anxious abt cuddling with alec, bc what if it's too much? what if it's the final straw? alec probably won't leave him over one time he's clingy, but what about ten times? a hundred times? it all piles up, doesn't it?

alec catches on ofc, because he's so attuned to magnus and constantly paying attention, bc isn't that what love is? paying attention? seeing your person for who they are? making an effort to learn them? sorry its almost 12 for me i'm sleepy and feeling romantic

the first time magnus is probably really tense, constantly shifting around and asking whether he's too heavy, whether alec is uncomfortable, whether he should move and they could lay side by side instead, because oh god, can you even breathe? do you want me to move?

and alec is like, no, no, don't move, this is good. this is nice. because SIKE! alec has been wanting the good feeling of someone laying on him this whole time! he likes the pressure and he likes the warmth and he likes holding magnus close! these men are not neurotypical.

and it gets better from there! it gets easier! magnus gets better at relaxing into alec and alec gets better at seeking magnus out when he wants to be laid on,,, this is a whole win/win btw, magnus likes to flop and alec likes to be flopped on literally no one loses i am so jealous of them rn. what the fuck

it gets better and it becomes a normal thing for them! just flopping down together and sort of halfassedly cuddling! ur so right, after they havent been together for a bit because of work they just lay there for a long while,,,, mmghhnn <33

alec: sorry i cant come in today. no im not sick. magnus fell asleep on me. what do u mean thats not a good reason. i dont care im sure someone can fill in for me. see u tomorrow

magnus who was just barely awake the whole time: :)

(many of these thoughts are inspired by cuubism's fic skin hunger (link) which u should go read asap !!! and also read cat's out of the bag (link) just bc its a very quality magnus cat brain piece kjsdfkc)

#asks #anon #sh #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #ramble tag #frfr go read cuubism's fic rn!! go read all of her fics!! theyre all so good!!! <3 #i barely proofread this ask and it is late so if it sucks im sorry sfdcnfdj

[spotsupstuff]

🥺 vibe check my baby shithead?

bless... its my sibwing time...

Why I like them:

what the fuck is there not to like about them, lets be honest. their personality is unique when compared to other bvs. i lowkey always hoped id get to see a bv that would be more bold, angry, just more sharp towards the world. most of bvs that ive seen before joining the creating part of the fandom were soft shy kids that didnt want to hurt anybody. its valid to characterize bc like that, but it was everywhere. lost was like the polaris in the entirety of the fandom. learning about them was refreshing, comforting, it felt and still feels safe to consider and think about them. they feel real, i feel like i could meet them on the street in a playground and become friends with them. you made them so real and important to me. ive said this plenty in the server, but theyve helped me through a lot of hard times. i was too sad or anxious or scared to come out of bed? i thought about them interacting with broken and i felt better. i was in a lot of pain? thinking about them helped distracting me and getting me through a lot of it. im so so thankful for their existence and even more so for your willingness to interact, rp and vibe with me. i love lost so much.

Why I don’t:

their clinginess sometimes worries me. they are valid in it, but clingy people generally make me Slightly uncomfy bc i have times where id rather not be touched and i have trouble speaking up because i dont wanna offend or hurt. broken is the same and i fear the day they will have to disappoint lost by turning away a hug or a cuddle session. the mixture of natural understandable clinginess and anger can result in a sort of manipulation. unintentional, but still manipulation

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

,,,ill be mildly self-indulgent and say that the scene where them and broken adopted each other, overlaying with the morning after, is perhaps my favorite thing ever. BUT!! i liked the scene with them shunning ghost out of oros hut. it established their thoughts and determination to Keep things important to them away from people that had hurt them.

Favorite season/movie:

the ENTIRE FUCKIN FIC THATS ABOUT THEM GETTIN FROM THE ANCIENT BASIN TO ORO. bro ive checked ao3 like every morning when the second chapter was still in the wip bin, i just couldnt wait for it kgjslkgjsldkk the amount of details to the struggles and the size of torment expressed through your words was so so real and i couldnt get enough of it. im incredibly thankful for that fic and for all the feelings it stirred up in me wee heart

Favorite line:

”I mean you’re a clown. do I need to say it slooooowwwweeerr?” the beginning of an age...

“don’t ever pull Us together like that, ever again” theres a lot to unpack here and boy, im keepin the entire suitcase right in my lap and i WILL think and dive deep into it with my thoughts

Favorite outfit:

theyve got One but they sure be rockin in and i -cocks designer gun- have Some ideas for that second cloak that net would make them so i Hope that will follow close behind their og look

OTP:

this lil creachure is fifteen, i only ship them with safety and parental/platonic love and care

Brotp:

them and purl!!! but also them and hornet, even though its not as close of a relationship, it makes me very happy that they arent completely shut off from each other. that lil short story they shared about their first encounter with cain instinct committed by hornet has been inserted into my mind forever out of the RAN universe canon... them and broken for obvious reasons, them and net (ive been LOOKIN for an AGE AND A HALF NOW SO HARD at that relationship) and tbh??? them and junior has been on my mind a Lot lately. ever since the first doodles of junior hiding them with wings in the among us au, ive been considerin n thinkin of scenarios

Head Canon:

-thunk emoji- hmm... theyll never be too great of a flyer. they will be able to do more than just flap once or twice to get over some distances, definitely, but i feel like they will forever prefer ground over the skies. some minor hcs: ,,,they might pick up some sort of sewing from net in the bverse, maybe; their hand writing will/does look like yours; one day, they will do something that will make a giant difference in something important, completely by themself

Unpopular opinion:

i dont fahcken kno how to do these with yalls characters what hte fuck

A wish:

i wish radiance didnt fuck them up so much during Those years. they deserve to get tall and strong, capable of their dads nailarts, big enough to wield a bigass nail like him and suplex broken

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

this is an incredibly unlikely scenario to happen cuz i know you dont like thinkin about the ultimate end of people and characters, but my biggest fear is that one day they will come back from a hunt or a visit to a cold body in their dads bed, with eyes closed to never open again, not giving them the chance to even say goodbye.

5 words to best describe them:

angry, worried, caring, gentle, afraid

My nickname for them:

sibwing... lil star (just like u heehoo), sometimes i think about them as simply “safety” or “comfort”

#Spot says stuff #i have done it... i said things about my favorite bv ever..... #love you skye #love them too #skyedragondraws

[ohcnnes]

☢      —     ( LILI REINHART, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER )     Trading in their scrunchies for gauze bandage rolls might not come easy for ANNE MILTON. This twenty six year old midwife brings medical knowledge, quick thinking and ex-gymnast fitness to the table … but their softness and unwillingness to kill could drag the group down. And while their nurturing nature might raise group morale, their over-thinking might give them a few enemies. That’s the last thing anyone needs right now. Hopefully, in the apocalypse movie that’s now their life, this BLEEDING HEART will make it to the end credits.     ( SAM, 23, SHE/HER, AEST )

OOC.

hello m’ladies, m’gents, and m’neithers my name is sam and this is written at either 1am or 5:30am because im australian and an idiot so pls forgive if there are any super dooper obvious spelling mistakes. anyways some fun facts: i’m an ex film student that now works in a pet store. i’m a whore for ari aster but i hope he goes to therapy or else i think he desperately needs to. 

i’ve played a few iterations of anne before but never something like this and i am so, so, so excited. i will probably never speak in the group chat because i have Social Anxiety(TM) and i am Intimidated By All Of You(TM) but i swear i am friendly pls come talk to me lmao

STATS.

full name: anne marie milton

best known as: anne

age: twenty six

occupation: midwife/registered nurse at a public hospital

star sign: virgo

trope: the bleeding heart

traits: diligent, nurturing, loyal, kind, intelligent, empathetic, meticulous, critical, over-thinking, jealous, anxious, clingy, secretive, overly trusting

drink / smoke / drugs: yes / no / no

MORE INFO.

born and raised in fort elm, she’s the middle child of three with an older sister and a younger brother. the three were raised mainly by their mother after their father passed fighting in the vietnam war when all the children were relatively young

as a result anne has a mother complex. idk if thats a thing but im making it one. she mothers everyone and feels like needs to look after everyone she knows, protect them, help them. hence the obvious move into the nursing/midwifing career

growing up she was pretty popular, like she’s friendly and charming and then on top of that a hot blonde that did gymnastics and cheerleading what do u want from me. was also an over achiever and perfectionist– has severely calmed down since she was in high school but i think she is still a perfectionist at heart like come on she’s a virgo

she sometimes comes off as fake but istg she is that much of a people pleaser. will try to be friends with everyone and obv has huge mom friend/big sister energy

believes in giving everyone a shot and it takes a lot of fucking her over for her to decide she doesn’t like you but even then if u came to her and said u had changed once she’d be like OK HERE U GO ANOTHER CHANCE LUV U 

a big romantic/emotional whore. loves love but always feels like she’s letting people down/not doing enough in relationships so ends up breaking them off before they go too far. and then gets in another relationship fairly quickly bc she just be like that

also giving her a labrador and u cant stop me xx

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

friends: dear god please be her friend she will do anything for u. would love friends from high school, maybe people that didn’t like her/the people she hung out with in high school and they have since become friends, bad influence friends (anne will mother extra hard but also get drunk around), ex-romances turned friends, toxic friendships that should have ended by now but havent, anne would legit try and make friends with rocks if she could so literally anyone could be her friend

romance ended ugly: ok i want one angsty thing sue me im human. the relationship that went too far before anne ended things so when she eventually did it hurt more and seemed more out of no where and anne prob got defensive and mean solely so they wouldn’t fight for it but still prob has so much love for them bc idk yall she got some issues anyways gimme 🤲

hook ups, ex-romances, roommates, people who dislike her (maybe someone she dislikes back but we would truly have to talk about it and figure out a juicy plot bc it takes a lot), party friends, dead ass anything lets go girls 

#this is probably a mess but i wouldnt know bc proofreading is for suckers #( intro. ) #( about. )

[rengiyuus]

soft bias tag!

hello...i’ve been tagged by @realstraykids (i think.) @s0ftminho @himeaegyo!!! 

i’m tagging: @jeongin @bangchant @hyyunjinn @heejin @hyuunjins @bangchan  @kimwoojin @teddybearwoojin @channie @jiisung @hanbit @hanjisunng and @yukseongjae 

btw this is gonna be really gay lmao 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who is your bias?

bang chan from sk!!!! the absolute loml

˚⁺∘*✧♡ what made you notice them?

ok so basically 7 years ago i saw his audition tape n i was like ? 10 i think he was 13 BUTLKSDJF i was in awe bc wow??? he was so cute n at that time i was learning members of groups n trainees (mostly sm but i came across a few jyp trainees!) and he popped up on my youtube n i was just so kljsdfsdf??? amazed someone so close to my age was so talented??? nn i kept track of him over the years n god i rmr whn i saw a pic of him with his sister n brother i knew. he was gonna own my heart one day so here we are

˚⁺∘*✧♡ what’s your favourite thing about them?

oh gosh sldfj i honestly can’t answer this??? everything is my favorite thing about him lksdjf??? just....i think skdjfsf if i rlly have to say, my favorite thing about him is his passion. to see him just??? express himself with something that makes him feel so safe and happy is beyond beautiful to me??? i love seeing his passion, whether it shows in his lyrics, his music, or just with how he acts, its my favorite thing to witness. 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would initiate skinship more?

LKJSDF i think...he would!!!! im rlly shy when it comes to that n knowing how he is with the other boys i think he would def love to start skinship 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would hog blankets more?

Me. I love soft cozy blankets SDFS so i’d steal them

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would be more clingy?

 we’re both libras but we are also scorpio venuses sO!!!! we wouldn’t be clingy in private but in public? thts my mf bf n im his we’d be glued together so

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would say “i love you” first?

LSKDF /??? i feel like ??? i would? i mean i say i love u to all my friends so i would have said it a long time ago when it came to him n i just love love so i would shower him in i love you’s 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would be more easily flustered?

me :/ i’m rlly shy irl so jsjsj anything makes me blush

˚⁺∘*✧♡ what cuddling position would you two have?

UM spooning ig ??? idk feeling a weight on me makes me feel relaxed so if he wants to just roll on top of me i’m Down

˚⁺∘*✧♡ which colours remind you of them and why?

pink and peach...it’s like?? all i see when i think of him because they’re delicate and soothing colors and i associate them with love???? and since hes the loml of course they remind me of him

˚⁺∘*✧♡ which season would you like to spend with them?

winter!!! i love winter...i wanna snuggle with him on the couch n watch christmas movies n i wanna have a mistletoe kiss with him and just ??? be fucking gay

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

he bakes i steal LKJSDFSF i love batter 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

both of us...n we’d have 2 reactions: Die or be wheezing our lungs out

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

me :/ i love dogs 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

LKJSDLJKSDFS OK !!! I WOULD BURN IT AND HE WOULD COME TO THE RESCUE BC ONCE I PUT MAC N CHEESE IN THE MICROWAVE BUT I DIDNT NO U HAD TO ADD WATER SO YEAH

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

him..i’m scared of heights so i dont go near railings but i’d pull him back bc im an anxious person

˚⁺∘*✧♡ what would watching a horror film with them be like?

God...he wouldn’t shut up but like out of Boredom . he’d make witty comments n i would have to tell him to shut up

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i’m the cheesy flirt and hes the smooth flirt!!!!!! 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who is more competitive?

Both of us We’re Libras. 

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who would have to be given constant reminders (reminders to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc)

both of us heh ik thts the answer to a lot but i love constantly reminding ppl about things?? esp when it comes to saying i love u to them n reminding them to take care of themselves and i’m v forgetful so he would remind me about everything else

˚⁺∘*✧♡ who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3am?

both of us ♡

#replies #chrisme #OOF

[anzfaulkner]

Me: they hate you

Me: no they don't

Me: they're going to leave you they were never your friend

Me: they're just as afraid of abandonment as I am

Me: they're ignoring your messages bc they think you're annoying

Me: no they don't they said they love messages, plus it's difficult for them to respond to messages

Me: ok but....how abt u shut ur hecki g mouth and listen the fuck up to everything i just said

Me: .........oooooooo shit u right

#hahah they hate me they're ignoring me I'm not their friend I'm just annoying and clingy #ahhh I remember that short time where I felt confident in my socialization skills and trusted that I was just paranoid that ppl talked #abt me behind my back and that ppl actually did like me and I was just reading too deep into things #but then of course my paranoia was correct and ppl really did secretly find me annoying #and even avoided skype calls when I was there and I had no clue I was fucking up so now!!!! who knows if I'm fucking up now???? #who knows if everything I say and do is just one big fuck up???? not me!!!!!! #god I just #I'm just gonna vent in the tags #like skype chats make me so anxious now and especially calls #bc it just???? takes me back???? #and if I do join a skype call then I stay on mute the whole time and I rarely talk in chats bc I don't want to accidentally talk out of turn #even if NO ONE IS FUCKING TALKING AT THE TIME LIKE JESUS DONT CONFUSE ME LIKE THAT #sorry anyways #and now ppl get mad at me bc I don't partake in conversation in chats #they're like 'oh ash is just ignoring us now' NO IM NOT I JUST DONT WANT TO FUCK THINGS UP BY EXISTING :))))))))))))) #I mean no one ever directly said 'ash is ignoring us' but I know they're thinking it #I just gdi #but I shouldn't feel upset and hurt bc I fucked up and hurt ppl so therefore I'm a whiny bitch who needs to shut the fuck up!!!! #all this fear of participating in a group chat or just being added into one???? completely fucking invalid!!!!!!!!!!!! #ok im. done #thank you for reading this if you did #or rather I'm sorry if you read this I don't want to bother anyone and this was probably very bothersome to read I'm so so sorry #like if you read #I guess #personal #tag vent

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 3 - AHHHHH -Heather

I hate Tiktok dances. Im not in shape enough for this but like 150 pts is 150 pts

So I come back from Oak Island and Kevin has been voted out. Excuse me but what? Kevin of all people. The dude was great in challenges and a loyal person. But apparently Sunshine and John said he’d be too controlling at a swap and possibly had an idol? What kind of lame ass excuse is that at the second tribal council? Darcy, Mac and Kyle were all in favour of keeping Kevin over Jessie. Which means that Sunshine, John and Dan have some kind of alliance going on there. I don’t imagine Jessie is really aligned with them and probably only worked with them to keep herself safe. I don’t blame her at all. However, we’re probably going to lose this next challenge (partly because of me throwing it oops) which isn’t the worst thing in the world. If Darcy, Mac, Kyle and myself all stick together, and none of us go to Oak Island (Kyle and myself can’t), the four of us would have the majority to vote out any of the other three who don’t go to Oak Island. And as of right now, I think John and Sunshine still feel like I’m on their side. So I’m a little bit in the middle right now. I’ve got my fingers crossed everyone else on the tribe can pull together a win but a whole ass person not submitting for this is definitely a huge disadvantage for us.

In my opinion, one of the most important things to be aware of while playing survivor is your threat level. You can't exactly be too big of a threat or else you'll get voted out, and you also can't be too little of a threat or else you'll just get taken to the end, or be seen as an easy vote. This is why the meat shield strategy is one of the best ways to play survivor; be a threat, but never the biggest threat. However, I'm not playing the meat shield strategy right now, because quite frankly I don't feel like I need to. I'm so under everyone's radar, that I don't see myself going home anytime soon. Also, since this is my first time playing, it's hard to get a read on who really is a meat shield and who isn't. However, I'll be sure to make big moves; just not too many to get targeted over anyone else.

IDK WHO IS SITTING OUT BUT SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE SITTING OUT AND I THOUGHT WAS SITTING OUT IS IN. IDK IF THERE IS TIME BUT I AM THE BIG ANXIOUS ABOUT THIS CHALLENGE NOW.

AHHHHH

Kevin going home was upsetting for me. Sunshine, Jessie, Dan and John are dead to me. I need to convince Keegan to join myself, Darcy and Kyle if any of us are gonna get anywhere in this game. I didn’t search for the idol yesterday because I was feeling sick and was upset with Kev leaving. I just don’t wanna go back to tribal. Otherwise I’ll be saying a few words at tribal.

I am very nervous for this challenge. Evan hasn't done anything so far , but if we lose, we need him as a number so we are stuck in a sticky situation. Livingston a while ago thought you only had to do a select few and I am worried because I don't want to lose  a challenge I worked so hard for just because people won't try. I hate having a for the tribe mentality because like I don't want to seem like a challenge threat but its more we have to work together and get as many points as humanly possible.

ok so this tribe turned into a literal mess. So i said i wanted to sit out of the challenge because i didn't have a lot of the items, and then i got ignored by like two members of the tribe which meant I was doing the challenge and evan and coco were sitting out. Honestly, I'm livid that I was ignored by people because that I take personally. I could care less about the challenge, even though I know i'd get like 6 points because i have papers and stuff to do. Luckily, we figured things out and evan is doing the challenge. If we win, awesome, but if we lose, I definitely have a couple people on my list. Luckily though, I'm in a 5 person alliance with Heather, Austin, Evan and Coco. That makes me feel safe at this specific time in the game, but I can't help but wonder who we will all vote for if we go to tribal tomorrow.

The dynamics right now are absolutely hilarious let’s breakdown: Heather: is currently having a panic attack bc this challenge is a mess & literally no one knows what they’re doing Eric: says ‘I’m not doing this’ then dips for like 20 hours. Evan & Coco are confirmed as sit outs, Eric gets mad at the hosts for some reason, & then forces himself to sit out. Evan: was confirmed as a sit out, dips for 20 hours because he thinks he’s not doing anything, comes back like ‘wait what’ & is hella salty Livingston: didn’t know that each person had to individually post everything Glo: is a angel her videos are killing me she is the comedic relief during these dark times. She also suggests we have one person go TWICE & have 3 sit outs LMAO Me: fucking cackling anytime anyone speaks in a passive aggressive tone We were supposed to be the tribe that loves each other now look what happened  

It honestly feels horrible not submitting a damn thing for a challenge because I am certain we’re going to lose because of it. But I don’t want to try my best in the challenge and have us still lose and then lose my vote at tribal. It’s just not worth it. On the plus side, even if we do lose the challenge Darcy, Kyle and Mac are all pretty down to blindside Sunshine for being snakey. So unless they change their mind right away and decide to axe me I should be in a good position.

My legs are sore and I made TIKTOKS to win by over 1000. Im..... I was gonna set a plan to get Livingston out but I mean I guess

We lost the challenge, surprise surprise. By a heck of a lot so I’m hella glad I accept the Oak Island challenge and didn’t submit for the challenge. It wouldn’t have even mattered. So we lose the challenge and shout our ho hums in tribe chat before it dies and everyone disperses to their quiet hidey holes to scheme against each other. And lo and behold Dan has immediately thrown my name out for not submitting in the challenge. Because I alone was the reason we lost. Whatever. Darcy is going under cover with Sunshine and Dan right now, Kyle is trying to act like a free agent and I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs wondering why the minority of Sunshine, Dan and John aren’t approaching the one person who wasn’t at all involved in the Kevin tribal. They honestly aren’t that smart if they’re straight up ignoring the one impartial person. Whatever. I wouldn’t actually vote with them since they voted out Kevin who was fantastic and useful. (#RevengeForKevin). Also, since I completed my Oak Island challenge I now have an extra vote I can use up until the final 5! I shouldn’t have to use it this tribal, thankfully. It will probably come in handy during a swap!

Is this what its like to be on a successful tribe? So unused to this. This gives me time to think and bond more. I’m thinking my first instinct to be threatened by glo and aim for her was wrong, it might make more sense to get her onside and use her both as a shield but also as a scapegoat for targetting others? We’ll see. Still good with Heather and Austin as a core three, and Livingston and Chips would be a good pair to link with if needed. Hopefully if swap comes I’m with some of them.

I’m crying at the fact we killed at. Like all of us were actually scared of losing & arguing & causing chaos & it was all for nothing & it’s AMAZING Also glo is scaring me she’s getting clingy she’s like “you wouldn’t miss me if we swapped” and I’m like what she’s like “tehe I was JOKING silly 😜” and like. I’m sorry what. Maybe I’m overreacting but that type of language makes me v uncomfy. Ion know that really off put me I’m gonna take a break from socializing. I’m pretty sensitive to behavior like that so I feel like it’s healthy to distance

Birch and Tawni really sat there being like, yall won stop trying. I thought we were up for competition. Oh Well. I had fun!! We love scavenger hunts

Me, Kyle, Keegan and Darcy are a good 4. With Jessie going to Oak Island that leaves Sunshine, Dan and John vulnerable. Keegan shared to me that he won an Extra Vote at Oak Island, which he hasn’t shared with Kyle and (maybe) not Darcy. I’m worried because I feel like I’m the 4th and not the 1st. Kyle admitted Kevin was his closest ally. My idol hunt is going alright. Definitely progress made.

To Kyle, if you’re ever reading these one day. I take back everything I said. You are awesome.

Fuck losing every challenge so far that’s all I have to say

I’m not sure if I’m feeling sick because I’m just sick or it’s the stress from this vote. I don’t want to be out this early. I can’t be out this early. If Kyle, Darcy and Mac can be trusted then I’m definitely safe and John is going home. I think I can trust them. I hope I can trust them. Why are we playing so damn hard so early in this game? Everyone needs to chill out or we’ll end up like Matsing.

Going to tribal I feel safe but nervous about what will happen in the aftermath. My group of 4 are pretty chill and not budging. Bye John.

No Swap, Thank God!! I think im fairly decent at this type of challenge. I won an individual immunity in this challenge once but idk how ill do with a tribe.

Oh my god my alliance is now in control! Yeah boi. Sunshine being HELLA QUIET after John’s boot was spooky but, I mean, he can’t complain since he did the exact same thing last vote. My problem now is not being the 4th member of the alliance. I’m scared that people will see me as riding coattails. I mean controlling the idol hunt is a cute look.

Our tribe was on a roll and had won 2 challenges in a row. I was starting to get busy taking care of my crush, and because of this, I had to sit out. However, apparently two people stated they were sitting out before I did. But the thing is, I never knew that. So I decided to disconnect from skype for the day to be with the one I love. However, I turn on skype the next day, and I'm bombarded with messages telling me to do the challenge. This really overwhelmed me, but then I realized it was an opportunity. 

Glo realized how much of a sticky situation I was in, and she came to my help, and told me she would be with me until I finish it if she needs to. Ultimately I wouldn't have been able to finish the challenge if she hadn't helped me. She also played it up as if I stepped up for the team last second and made an impact. I still can't tell if she did this from the goodness of her heart, or if she did it for strategic reasons. But, I do think it was moreso strategic, because she did mention that after she helped me as much as she did, that we would have to be aligned. So because of that, her actions don't really mean as much to me as it should, and I will take out Glo if it's necessary and beneficial for my game.

[notwxrriors]

okay tumblr mobile is a fuck and didn't let me reblog it so. here's the Zodiac shit folx I was gonna add photos of their charts but it won't let me so. here's explanations.

otto's is very capricorn heavy, but more importantly, very earth sign heavy (ignore the aries rising thts Untrue, we don't know his rising). he's a capricorn sun, venus, saturn, uranus, and neptune. for all of these im rly gonna be talking about sun/moon/merc/venus/mars because these are the signs that most directly affect our personalities.

so cap sun! very work driven, very ambitious. this is the same sun sign as awsten, travis, elijah, and daphne. imo they have a tendency to be more guarded than any of the other signs, it's kinda hard to crack em open. he has a taurus moon, which is a rly good moon placement! very humble, pretty homebodied, VERY stubborn. extremely steady though, like doesn't change for anyone

his mercury is sagittarius, which is so interesting to me. that's a fire sign, but the most relaxed fire sign. they don't really feel the need to be showmanshippy or anything like that, they're pretty direct in their communications.

venus is ur romance planet, and his is in capricorn which is so 😬 I'm so worried abt him,,,, cap placements are p shut off and get the stereotype of "cold" which will apply here,,, maybe not the most clingy lovers, but very steady. if he's with someone with a water venus esp, they're gonna have issues.

mars is what I like to call ur Fighting Planet, it affects how you deal with stuff like that. his is taurus which means he really doesn't like to get into arguments, and if he's in one, ur gonna have a Very tough time changing his mind about things.

im not even going to bother posting geoff's chart bc on the one i have saved, every single placement up to mars is cancer. cancer sun, moon, merc, venus, and mars. please save him.

i really do not know how to break this down other than saying he is a Very soft and fragile boy and it's Terrible that he's surrounded by all these shut off earth signs my GOD,,, cancer placements are very caring and sweet, what u would think of as the "mom friend". prone to bouts of overemotion and passive aggression tho, esp considering his mars is cancer too.

ik yall are romance gremlins bc ur here, so I'll talk a little abt that! I personally have a cancer venus so,,, god bless his heart. it's my only water sign placement and it makes me very soft when it comes to romantic relationships. he's going to really crave stability and constant reminders that they love him, and he'd do really poorly with otto's venus sign

jawn's is virgo sun GOOD GOD okay so we all always joke about it but let me break it down some. imo virgos always seem like they're .2 seconds from a fucking breakdown and jawn,,, has these vibes. he gets anxious easily, he gets stressed out by very little things, and having Chaos Demon Awsten Knight as his best friend prob has ruined his entire life. they're textbook perfectionists and can b critical of others but they do have good qualities somewhere i promise

taurus moon like otto's! that's a rly good balance to his virgo mess! he has a virgo merc, so really nothing is saving him from communicating being a virgo mess. he talks a lot, nervously, frequently, goes off on tangents. also that "WE HAVE A HARD 8:30 CUT OFF" followed by him going to 8:45 and stressing himself out is so virgo sun/merc

libra venus is inch resting,,, they love COMMITMENT BABEY they're rly what I'd consider True Romantics, very easy to be with. they like longterm partnerships and being domestic,,, ik i said jawn would prob love being a housewife and that Absolutely comes from his libra venus.

his mars is in cancer, like geoff's, so def more passive aggressive in arguments and also prone to crying, he doesn't really seek out conflict but he'll get into it if it's to protect close relationships.

also rising! so rising is the "first impression" sign, it's what people tend to see first when you meet them and it's an intrinsic part of ur personality. jawn's is sag, and sag's are very easy to get along with! they love to travel and trying new things, and they're pretty open people. it's a good balance to the virgoness

okay that's it that's all it's my Official Zodiac Review

#i HAte tumblr mobile I really do #anyway

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[isabclls-blog]

[ hayley atwell, cis female ] - did you know ISABELLA MERCER is back in town ? i’ve heard that the THIRTY year old has been gone for THIRTEEN YEARS and used to be known as THE FERVOUR. now people call them THE BENEVOLENT but they’re still DIFFIDENT, and SELFLESS as usual. right now they’re busy as a DATA ENGINEER but i hope we have time to catch up ! 

guess who's back, back again, caitlyn's back, tell a friend. yES so anyways i'm back with the complete opposite of nick honestly ?? bella ?? my smol ?? child ?? who i hurt so dearly w her backstory ?? ( n w a lil bit of catherine’s help but we won't talk about that ) i have yet another basic connections page up for her here if ya'll wanna plot hmu on here or nicks ims, either one. and as always, the most extra of intro posts is below the cut because i don't know when to shut the fuck up.

( TW: mentions of death. )

BIOGRAPHY.

isabella was born in aston & raised by two v loving parents, her father was a surgeon, her mother a nurse. ( which is where those two met.. )

she is actually the youngest of the two children their parents had, her brother being seven years older than her.

was raised to be "practically perfect" in her parents eyes, made straight A's in school, never missed a day, never went and hung out with the wrong crowd, nothing. and unlike most, she really didn't mind that life.

but her brother, that was a different story, he went through a rebel phase and basically shut her and her parents out for a while.

life was great for all of them, their parents talking about taking the whole family on vacation for bella's 8th birthday because they knew they all needed a little break.

that vacation never came, though. bella was nine when she lost her parents to a freak car accident.

isabella was pulled out of school early that day by her neighbor as they had no other family in aston. but she didn't know why, not until her brother showed up to their neighbor's house in shambles.

apparently her brother had been caught trying to steal something out of a drug store and so they called her parents to come and get him and on their way to get him the rain caused a slick patch in the asphalt and that was that, their lives taken in an instant.

of course, since both of the mercer siblings were underage, they were put into the foster care system.

for a while, both of them didn't get anyone around to possibly adopt them, but shortly after she turned 9, her world flipped upside down once again.

her brother was adopted by a family who lived three states out who just so happened to be in the area and happened upon her brother, meaning she knew she'd probably never see him, or if she did, it would be very few and far between.

she didn't know how to handle this, her brother had been the only thing she'd known for almost three years and he was yanked away from her almost as quickly as her parents were.

after a few months of having basically no one, keeping to herself and only talking whenever she was spoken to, she crossed paths with one freddie wright, someone who would end up changing her life forever.

those two were like two peas in a pod and he made her forget the fact she'd basically lost her entire family.. he gave her hope that maybe she wasn't going to be alone for the rest of her life and she cherished him so damn much.

even though life wasn't the most perfect thing in the world for her, she never went into a "rebel" phase, always kept up with her schooling and found out that coding and anything that had to do with computers caused her so much peacefulness that she knew that's what she wanted to pursue a career in.

and to her surprise, she ended up getting a full scholarship to NYU, which happened to be the same college her best friend got into.

she was scared at first, was so unsure about packing her things and moving to a new state entirely, but she knew that she'd be able to make some sort of future for herself in new york, so she went for it.

and just like most, she ended up falling in love with the big city, finding places she loved to go whenever she wanted to, loved having people around her all the time.. it was something she'd never really felt before.

not to mention she was doing so damn well in college that even her professor told her he'd be surprised if she didn't end up working for a big corporation one day, and all of those good feelings put together was indescribable.

hell, she even ended up finding someone who she found herself head over heels for, and he felt that way about her too... flash forward to about a year later and she had a pretty little diamond ring sitting on her ring finger from him.

planning the wedding and keeping up with her schooling was difficult, and sometimes she just wanted to stop with school just until the big day was over, but she knew better. her parents taught her that an education was one of the greatest things a girl could have.

but she managed to get through it, had the wedding set for a beautiful day in the fall, the dress and everything else picked out and she was the happiest camper in the world.. she had someone she loved who she was going to marry and her best friend right by her side.

but things didn't turn out like she'd planned, on the day of the wedding, her husband to be left her at the altar and needless to say, this left her a broken mess.

without hesitation she took off to one of her favorite spots, still in her dress and a very expensive bottle of champagne to wash away the sadness.

but to her surprise, someone else had gone there too, the person who'd always been able to give her hope in life: freddie.

they sat in the park for a while and after everything, she found herself almost glad the wedding hadn't happened because she'd been missing a part of her ever since she'd met her ex-fiance.

but then life hit her in the face once again and altered everything.

she was at work when she heard the news of freddie's accident, her heart practically shattering from that alone. he was okay, but they had to tell her that more than a thousand times for her to believe it.

and even though there were bits and pieces of the years they'd been friends missing from his memories, she never once gave up on him because he never once gave up on her.

she fought and fought to make life better, for the both of them, but soon realized that maybe new york wasn't all it was cut out to be after all. 

so she moved back to aston, thirteen years after she'd left.. hoping that maybe, just maybe life would start changing for her, that things would finally be okay and that she, along with everyone else could be happy.

PERSONALITY.

bella is literally a smol bean ??

like she's so kind to everyone even if they aren't the most friendly to her because ?? what if they were just ?? having a bad day ??

is v into the aesthetics of things ?? 

is also v minimalistic due to her growing up in the foster care system.

loves the color yellow ?? p sure she painted a few walls in her house yellow because she just... loves it that much.

however, if she's pissed off or trying to protect people she loves.... stay away from her... she might be smol, but girls got some fire in her.

is 110% into friendly cuddling ?? like ?? will curl up w anyone ?? just bc ?? she can ??

will also probably make everyone in aston cookies or a cake on their bday because she just wants people to be happy & if she can give ppl a reason to smile, she's happy too ??

has a reading corner in her house and sits there a lot bc it makes her feel v cosy and safe.

kinda... forgets to take care of herself tho bc... she's more worried about other people and their feelings so she just pushes hers back & locks them away.

actual floWER chiLD ??

intelligent af and loves anything that has to do w tech or computers, like if u put her infront of a screen.. she's so in her element i s2g.

absolutely loves her boring ass 9-5 desk job because she feels like what she does helps people a lot.

cries over cute animal videos and would love to own a puppy or kitten ( or both )

is scared af of thunderstorms ?? she curls up in a ball on her couch whenever one hits she haTES them.

will do anything and everything in her power to make people feel better because she hates when other people are sad.

also... if people get mad at her and raise their voice at her... she'll probs break down n cry or get v anxious or stressed bc she doesn't want ppl to be upset with her.

has a flower garden that she loves to death n cries if anything happens to her children.

is the type to volunteer at local food banks n things like that to try and give back to the community.

extremely weary when it comes to letting people in after the whole ex-fiance thing happened but fully believes that everyone still deserves a second chance.

someone could be threatening her life and she'd probably still be like "there's some good in them" bc.. that's how she is.

cannot.... handle stress v well. so if she gets stressed out about something she doesn't get a lot of sleep and just ?? internally freaks until things calm down.

she's HELLA a summer baby and will practically beg everyone to go to the beach w her whenever the weather permits because she loves the water.

doesn't drink all the time & is kinda a lightweight so when she does drink.. it doesn't take a ton to get her drunk.

speaking of, she's p clingy & touchy feely when she's drunk n will probs tell u she loves u a million times just so u know that.

probably a sub.... yeah she a sub...

can b pretty easily manipulated or pursueded into doing things bc !! you have to make ppl happy !! always !!

literally just a smol beb who's trying her best to make sure she leave the world a little bit better than she found it??

idk.... she's just... smol

STATS

BASICS

FULL NAME: isabella rose mercer. NICKNAME(S): isa, bella ( only freddie is allowed to call her this honestly ?? ) & rose. AGE: thirty. DATE OF BIRTH: june 5th. ZODIAC SIGN: gemini. PLACE OF BIRTH: aston, maine. GENDER: female. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: bisexual. RELIGION: christian. ( nonpracticing. ) OCCUPATION: data engineer. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: spanish, french, russian, welsh & english. ACCENT: american.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

FACE CLAIM: hayley atwell. HAIR COLOR: dark brown. EYE COLOR: brown. HEIGHT: 5′ 5″. WEIGHT: 120 LBS. BUILD: average.

PERSONALITY.

LABEL: the benevolent. POSITIVE TRAITS: selfless, loyal, intelligent. NEGATIVE TRAITS: diffident, quiet, naive. FEARS: astraphobia & arachnophobia. HOBBIES: baking, coding, reading books, watching tv, netflix, horseback riding, sewing, swimming. QUIRKS: believes in karma, fights for animals rights, fights for gender equality, fights for human rights, fights for marriage equality, counts stairs, enjoys camping, loves the smell of burning wood, loves board / video games, can solve a rubix cube. LIKES: fall, summertime, water, shopping, ice cream, nighttime, traveling, art, music, cuddling, movie / tv / netflix marathons, hiking, camping, horseback riding, working out, computers. DISLIKES: thunderstorms, snow, traffic, liars, hypocrites, cinnamon, spiders, snakes.

FAMILY.

FATHER: jordan david mercer. MOTHER: marie ann wallace-mercer. SIBLING(S): one, older brother. PET(S): none. FINANCIAL STATUS: middle to ( lower ) upper class.

TESTS

MYERS-BRIGGS: infj-t. ENNEAGRAM: type 2 ( the helper. ) TEMPERAMENT: melancholic. HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff.

#( & ooc. ) #as.intro #....com lov this smol bb #watch this not show up in the tags lmao rip me

[taejimin]

(4) again, we were only 3 weeks into talking. so instead of being understanding like she said she'd be she fucking turned it on me? she was like "so many people have hurt me like this" and "i dont even want to be friends with you im so hurt". like she made it all about her and started making me feel like a horrible person. she comes from a rich family that doesnt care about her sexuality so i just dont think she gets it. but she made me feel so shitty.... what do u think? was i just a bitch? idk

(1) ok i wanna ask some good ole gay advice! so i started talking to this girl over tinder and she was SO HOT and so sweet and i was really excited about it... but i started getting intensely anxious? like im bi and im not out to anyone really and i started getting so scared my family would somehow find out and id get disowned (hella catholic latinos so like.. not accepting). i talked to her about it a lot and she was like "its okay if you cant handle i understand".

(2) we went on one date and it was really cute. but she started getting really clingy even tho i was like "i need to move super slow bc i only just accepted my sexuality and that im not actually going to hell a few months ago" she was moving super fast. like only 3 weeks of talking and she was introducing me to her friends as her gf and telling me constantly how she was falling in love... im pretty introverted and bad with affection to begin with and so i was like so fucking anxious over it

(3) i had one extremely bad anxiety attack thinking about how my mom would disown me if she found out and how i couldnt afford college on my own and how i cant imagine not having my family so i told her we needed to talk... i explained how i guess i havent really accepted myself yet -- i was still struggling with being disgusted at myself even tho i dont find other gay ppl gross -- and im so intensely anxious that i dont think im as ready as i thought i was.

nononono i dont think u were a bitch god no and i dont think u did anything wrong bc u mentioned to her multiple times that u werent ready and she continued on regardless. on the one hand i get where shes coming from cuz im that person too lmao but on the other even despite that she knew what she was getting into so she has no right to blame you for it. and yeah she probably doesnt get it the way someone who has a similar home life would. but honestly if u arent ready then thats fine theres no timelimit if u wanna try things casually with girls while ur in college and wont get tied down bc u arent ready for it then do that! i mean thats mostly what tinder is for to my knowledge. theres nothing wrong with that. but to answer ur question no i dont think u did anything wrong. ur ok sweetheart

#Anonymous #ask and you shall receive

[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn

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