#like if you read
like!!! listen!!! if you really enjoy in-depth political intrigue and historically realistic fiction, that’s great!! more power to you!! there are books out there that will fulfill that!! but just don’t expect that from literally every book you read, especially if you’re reading fantasy, which has really wide variations in worldbuilding techniques, some of which include that depth of political intrigue and some of which do not (which does not make one better or worse than the other necessarily, it’s just a different reading experience)
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Alright I am so freaking pissed right now because in my dream ok there was two cakes and I eat a bite of the sample cake and went to get a knife to cut the actual cake with this cake was beautiful it was a tall layer cate with white icing that was swirled in a certain way and the layers faded from teal to pick to purple and I wanted and still want it so badly and when I came back MY GRANDMA HAD TOLD THE LADY TO THROW AWAY THE CAKE WHY GRANDMA WHY *sobs angerly* SO THEN I WOKE UP STILL WITH OUT THAT CAKE IN THW DREAM MY MOM HAD GOTTEN TO EAT SOME SO WHY COULDNT I HUH WHY COULDNT I *punches pillow* so then I went and complained about to my family and y’all
Catch Up Tag Game
tagged by @mackayla-lane 😘
last song: in the kitchen by mree
last movie: clueless (it literally never gets old)
currently reading: i just finished one last stop by casey mcquiston and it was so cute i want to claw my face off
currently watching: i started mare of easttown last night and it is excellent so far
currently craving: i like to make these grilled peach/honey/ricotta/balsamic/basil flatbreads in the summer and i picked up peaches the other day and that’s basically all i can think about while i wait for them to get ripe
tagging @foxmagpie @nickmillerscaulk @riosnecktattoo @bethsuglywigs @misshazelevers20
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some people will see a fic and go GOD that ship is appalling i am disgusted this makes no sense it doesnt fit with their characters at ALL this is an atrocity im having an aneurism, and then begin reading said fic and leaving comments and liveblogging and making tiktoks about how much they hate it as they go
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mini/vague and rant in tags again because brain is mean today
q is so fucking weird he is just an nct man who got lost on the way home. my man you are unwell.
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Trans guy: I wish people didn't act like I was woman lite or just entirely denounce my issues because I currently identify as a man. Trans guy issues should be talked about more
Some Cis(TM) person: so what you're saying is you hate women for not wanting to be one???? You're a misogynist then???? Clearly I am not simply being transphobic here
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If you’ve ever lyke.... made big leaps of progress before. And you noticed like how you don’t indulge in some lyke dark things that you used to like. Not because they’re triggers but because they’re 2edgy4u now.
Uhm. I forgot where I was going with this lol. Basically.... some things are too edgy for me now lol the messed up things. The lyke...y’know. So intense it hurts things. If you know what I mean.
I want to have a nice house in minecraft. I always get inspired by bedrooms in fics lol but I always get stumped by the lower level in practicality lol
I wish we had milk and a clean bowl....
When you’re on day seven straight and tired af after pulling all nine-or-ten hour shifts, and you’ve been there for all of ten minutes before the boomers start trying to gaslight you and pick a fight.
Flare: I’m so embarrassed. Excuse me.
???? Flare there is no one else here.
Having spent the last month binging Elijah Wood’s discography that I haven’t seen in previous binges, I’d like to officially confirm that Frodo and Todd aren’t outliers, his characters are just Like That
Oh noooo my phone died while I was making more posts about that love thing. Oh well lol.
Uhm. Hm. I also wanted to get more into lol making plug-ins for tumblr. Never got around to it...
actually tag rambling about the scott pilgrim comics has yet again got my hackles up about the fact that Bryan Lee O’Malley has imo been creating some of the most unique and creative and surreal and inventive and heartfelt and smart works of anyone working in (mainstream) comics today for pretty much his entire career and yet people just don’t acknowledge that because the comic that made his name hid how creative and surreal and heartfelt and smart it was under this layer of goofy video game references and purely because of that it gets dismissed by a lot of people as just fun goofy entertainment!!! and to be clear i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with fun goofy entertainment but there’s something kind of heartbreaking about the way that o’malley has never been given the full credit he deserves as a serious artist whose work deals with some legit very heavy and thought-provoking and unique themes which is what he is!!!!
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But it's also kind of lyke. I wouldn't pay anything /for/ love y'know? Lyke I don't feel love as strongly. So I don't feel like i have to... /do/ anything because of it.
Lyke I'm remembering my ex, right.
And if we were together now and he did something I didn't like (like steal) I would tell him to get the fuck out. Lyke immediately. No heartbreak, no "I should forgive him," none of that. Get out of my life, love isn't worth this much to me. Love is worth extremely little to me now.
Which is extremely weird to say that and feel like it's a good thing lol.
But. There you go.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention. With the passion for music basically not being there anymore. Idk, but I think... I might not have the ability to love anymore?
Because lyke okay let's think about Four. I love Four. But it's a lot more peaceful now. Lyke a lot a lot more peaceful now. Lyke the most affection I feel like giving Four now is lyke a nod.
But lyke we also flirt. And honestly I do enjoy it a lot. So we still love each other. Obviously. It's just weird cuz lyke.
It's more lyke love lost its density. Lyke as fast as it comes, it's lyke shown and it's gone. Lyke it's not sticking around bottled up almost.
And it's not the absence of love, like I said, we more freely flirt now than any other time. But it's more lyke.... it's not a lump needing to be pushed out (is this gross? Idk how else to describe it.)
Anyway. That's why I mentioned the music thing.
It's weird, right? If I told someone "join the paradigm so you won't be filled with love anymore" lyke??? But I can't understate how good this feels.
Lyke I've had my emotions numbed and I had depression. And both of those feel really bad basically all the way through. But this one is good????
Idk. This one is just good. For once in a really long time, It's feeling good so much more consistently than anything before.
Well constant isn't the right word. Maybe more frequently. Yeah. That's what you want, right? A frequency of happiness, not consistency.
Oh yeah I was talking about this earlier. Something I honestly expected is losing the emotional gravity behind musuc and singing. Now, when I listen to songs that used to mean /so/ much to me, I don't feel them really hard emotionally. They're just songs to me now. It's so fucking strange lol this like heavy emotional catharsis that I used to crave. It's too heavy for me now. I fly above it and I neither miss it nor glad for it.
It's just strange. The paradigm made me lose something I'm passionate about. But I don't feel bad about it. Lyke this isn't a depression. there's no craving. Because I know now the craving has nothing to do with it.
Also. I ran out of coke and it's barely bothering me. Not that I don't crave it. But I definitely have craved it a lot more before.
Anyway. It's another hint that all these past habits that I felt were in surmountable, are within reach now.
Pffff idk this is so weird. I have every excuse to hate and be scared of this but it just feels so fucking good to fucking feel good for once.
It feels like it should be bad in every way, but it doesn't /feel/ bad. It feels so lacking of bad it feels good actually. Anyway. It's great. I'm gonna try to keep it up.
i may be big but i would still read your tiny letters, victor! i might need a magnifying glass but i want to see them
i... i'm sorry... About the inconvenience of my small little letters.....
But i'm glad you still want to see them,,, Please take your time to search for a magnifying glass, my letters never contain that much important must-read immediately content.
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