#im serious. I think you should evaluate.

[stuckinapril]

To answer your tags about that other anon, I think some people have decided to be aggressively indifferent towards the situation. Some of it is a contrarian response to the ‘do this or you are an evil person’ kind of online activism that is popular, and some of it is just a genuine desensitisation and nihilism.

Being so rude like that anon is not acceptable, but online activists do well to remember that some people are allies but simply are not aware of the latest online rules concerning posting about the situation. I have seen many people like that turn off when their humanity is questioned by strangers online for disobeying directives they did not know existed.

Ok I know you think you’re trying to be nuanced about this but I think in typing this you forgot you’re talking about a genocide

#It doesn’t take keeping up with ‘online rules’ (?) to recognize why saying something like that is not only tone deaf but clearly wrong #Youre forgetting that when it comes to genocide the approach really should be binary & people should know better by now #The language you’re using is making it seem like advocating for Arabs not to be killed is just an online activism circlejerk #I don’t appreciate your implication and I think you should evaluate why you decided to be a devil’s advocate in the midst of an ongoing #Genocide #im serious. I think you should evaluate.

[mechanicalbloodlust]

✨complaining about gabriels armour yay✨

DISCLAIMER (please read): - i am doing this for fun. this is not a serious post. - this is not a criticism of gabriel's character design. - gabriel is an angel. obviously angels function differently to humans. the armour of angels in ultrakill could be purely decorative for all i know, but im evaluating it in terms of protection in relation to human anatomy. - i often specifically refer to protection against swords. this is because i am basing my knowledge off of medieval armour. (what im saying is: i know v1 uses guns im not stupid) - im not an expert on armour. i read about it for fun, as a hobby. if i get something wrong, PLEASE tell me i love getting new information about armour and i do not want to unintentionally spread misinformation.

initially i did a quick assessment of the gaps in the armour, which would be weak points. while ive seen some interpretations of gabriel wearing a sort of bodysuit, he is definitely not wearing a gambeson. this would make the armour uncomfortable to wear as there would be no padding under it.

the rest of the armour evaluation is in the images below. all of the text is also written out in the image descriptions.

after all this nitpicking, i decided to try to redesign gabriel's armour to make it more protective while keeping it similar to his original design and still recognisable as gabriel ultrakill.

• lowered pauldrons so they're not floating

• added an aventail to the helmet to protect his neck

• the golden parts of the cuirass no longer go inwards

• didnt add couters because i suck at drawing them but lets pretend that i did that to stay closer to his original design (besides he still has the elbow pieces on his vambrace to provide some defence)

• his gauntlets have articulated fingers now

• tassets are laminated rather than the layers he originally had. in retrospect i should have done tassets of three lame and decorated them similarly to gabriels original design but oh well

• i also imagine that he would be wearing a hauberk under the skirt

• added extra plates to the poleyns as well as side fins

• he's got proper sabatons now

• also he would be wearing a gambeson under his armour

• helmet is more like a visored bascinet

• there are actual holes for ventilation now, and there's more of them.

• there are also holes for vision yay

• didn't want to get rid of the gold bit that goes around the helmet so i changed the shape so that weapons wouldn't get caught on it, but would instead skate off. i think it should come closer to the visor on the side profile though. thank you for reading all of this i had a lot of fun doing this :-)

#my posts #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #went to the royal armouries museum once and it changed my life not even kidding

[butchdykekondraki]

its time for scp required reading... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please for the love of god heed the fucking warnings im so serious . like as much as i want to keep the tone of this post jokey and funny you NEED to heed the warnings on these

ok with that out of the way. read about my blorbos boy

''incident 239-b clef-kondraki'' (general warning for violence and blood/gore) - this one fucks. thats all i have to say about it

''technical issues'' - this one's funny + im biased because i fucking love pat the tech guy

''routine psychological evaluations by doctor glass'' - again i have personal bias about this (<- simon glass enjoyer + host is a glass introj) + this ones funny + if you're more into the fanon versions of the foundation staff this is right up your alley

''tradition'' - halloween party fun :-)

''dr cimmerian hits reply all'' - this is exactly what it sounds like i don't now what to tell you

''stupid cupid / stupid cupid: stop picking on me!'' - my house my rules read about cimmerian and his boytoy

''hawaiian shirts'' - clef fucking Breaks. thats all i can say about this without exploding into viscera

''help me my (love for) my daughter was born too still'' (general warning for mentions of child death) - i have personal bias about this (<- #1 agatha rights enjoyer) but this tale is So Good in general and a super interesting look at how agatha perceives herself and her work/life balance

''so leave yourself alone.'' (warning for graphic depictions of vomit and attempted suicide) - REALLY really really good look at clef kind of dropping his cruel persona and iris' mental health struggles regarding the foundation

''yesterday'' (warning for violence and implied/reference suicide. kind of.) - :-( <- this is the only way i can express my emotions about this tale. anyway it's really good and an interesting way of showing clefs relationships with people

''an apple a day...'' - REALLY good look at how dr glass is as a person and how he acts with people + this entire tale fucks SEVERELY

''personal log of dr gears / personal log of █████ 'iceberg' ████'' - good example of how gears and iceberg both format their documents / how they speak + its vaguely gearsberg + this gives a look at how gears and iceberg met. read the gearsberg tale boy

''portraits of your father'' (warning for graphic alcoholism, suicide, survivors guilt, and blood/gore) - super good look at draven and his relationship with his father, and kondraki's alcoholism, and also talloran is there. also three cheers for dravoran

''life's cold'' - most normal day iceberg has at this fuckass foundation + this is a good look at how iceberg acts and thinks

''fond memories'' (warning for death and body horror) - draven proposes! Draven proposes.

''scp-3999'' (warning for bugs, paranoia, death, body horror, sexual assault/rape, unreality, self harm, and depictions of bodily mutilation) - unironically this one fucks me up so bad its so fucking good dude. go read about james talloran RIGHT NOW

''i stared into the face of everything and nothing and made it back alive'' - this one also fucks me up so bad like i dont even have anything to say. read about talloran and draven RIGHT NOW

''you are at the center of everything that happens to you'' - james talloran talks to himself. kind of.

''a suicide note'' (warning for mentions of rape, child murder, survivors guilt, and suicide) - interesting look at clefs thoughts on him and his work

''date night'' - objectum win! dr alto clef is objectoromantic AND objectosexual! <- that should tell you all you need to know about this one

''scp-4231 / montauk house'' (warnings for graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, child abuse/neglect, murder, domestic violence, verbal/physical abuse and survivor's guilt) - absolutely gut-wrenching look at alto clef/francis wojciechoski and why he's so fucked up. uh genuinely do read the warnings on this one because when i say graphic i am not exaggerating. all of these things are explored in detail and are genuinely triggering so.

''okay, that's enough, let's get you home'' (warnings for some dubious make-out sessions, (mentioned) suicide, implications of rape/sexual assault, and vomit) - shameless moldhouse plug sorry not sorry. HIGHLY recommend reading this and it's other parts in their entirety because it genuinely drives me up the fucking wall it is So good. i will sing moldhouses praises until my throat goes out. read moldhouse Now

''duke 'till dawn'' - bpd king!!!!! anyway i dont have a lot of thoughts on this its just really good. also i didnt know dracula was an actual scp until i read this which is kind of funny to me

''rights' birthday party'' - my house my rules you're going to read about agatha rights whether you like it or not

''sex at a frigid temperature'' - again, my house my rules. read the depressing gearsberg tale, boy.

''7 things that new level 3 researchers should know'' - i dont have any thoughts on this i just think this one has really cool formatting

''home is where i want to be'' - no greater thoughts this is just really neat i think. also kiryu labs is in it and im biased as fuck

''gentle wings flutter quietly in the dark'' - read about zyn kiryu NOW

#[ren] #HHHHOLY FUCKKK. THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. AUUHGGH AUGHGHH AUUUGUHGHGH #please. please for the love of god reblog this im begging you #i did not put in all this goddamn work listing this shit for it to go unnoticed. coughing up blood #uhh. what else do i say. #honorable mentions to glass x diogenes 4ever! ; ship in a bottle ; and major tom which i left out. rest in pussy sweet princes #also if youre gonna ask ''wheres ___?'' the answer is probably either ''i dont like that one and therefore didnt include it'' or ''i have- #-literally never heard of that what the fuck are you talking about'' #scp foundation #<- so i can find this later

[awek-s-archived]

I don’t know how familiar everyone is with this situation but I thought I should talk about it more in the lead up to the video you’re about to see (which is the first time I’ve seen a netizen have the balls to say smth like this on a livestream lmfao good on them!). kiss of life (or kiof) are a 4 member girl group under s2 that debuted a week ago with ‘shhh’. they’re amazingly talented but the group itself seems to be built entirely around natty (almost a member of twice but was too young to debut at 13; later soloist. very beloved and popular among idols). group also made up of belle and haneul; the former is a writer and composer, who wrote and composed lesserafim’s unforgiven, miyeon’s softly and charging, and composing purple kiss’ find you. she was also the female vocalist on the song child by mark lee of nct.

julie, the last member of the group, has been under fire for covering strange clouds by b.o.b and rapping the n word with her whole chest during a monthly rap evaluation during her training in 2017. naturally since she just debuted it’s been dug up again since she never apologised for it, with black people (rightfully) distancing themselves while nb people are saying it’s not that serious. clearly it is that serious particularly since a lot of the defence of her comes from the fact that she’s a rapper who people say looks and sounds like jennie, and are slowly beginning to venerate because of it. except for the absolute legend who got through the livestream at arirang simply kpop on the 10th of july to say this during the ending fairy sequence.

their voice played over belle’s ending fairy sequence, not julie’s (julie is the girl before) but the message is out there at least. i wanted to share this with context and also because im still seeing content of julie made and shared and i for one am just gonna refrain from it 🤗 love and light to the person who left this message for them especially and i hope everyone telling them that this was ‘too far’ and ‘mean’ has a horrible day because personally i think being racist is ‘too far’ and ‘mean’, actually.

#aweks.txt

[skinnytuna]

I really really like that long post you did about making art. especially: 'i have somehow convinced myself that, if i maybe try a little bit, not exceptionally hard, but only a little bit, maybe i will somehow magically be good enough and worthy of critical praise.'

I spend all my time thinking about the beautiful or ""groundbreaking"" things I would make but no time actually doing it. and then when I attempt to create something the actual discomfort of physically drawing, writing or even coding is so unlike the idealised version in my brain that I have to stop because it is so frustrating. I wish I could be the sort of person who decides to spend hours upon hours perfecting a craft. but I just cant. weirdly I've come to terms with it. theres a whole world of art that exists just for me in my head. maybe one day ill be able to translate it into reality. but for now, im just going to be happy with the dual presence of my shitty real art and my lovely art thats just for me.

(also: I dont think your posts are lacking. the way you use language is unexpected and hilarious. I like it a lot.)

we should have a word for the terminal need for validation but lack of any and all discipline ... seems like a relatively new phenomena. i'm considering the strong possibility that it's a widespread result as the death of the "hobby"... however many years ago i imagine it was normal to just do something for yourself, because you love doing it. in fact i see a lot of my friends parents still doing stuff such as this.

i have a lot of friends whose dads make eps and albums for fun. for them only. no wishing on a star for it to blow up overnight. none of that. security in the quality of it. security in how far it probably won't reach. now that security, of course, could just come with age. but i suspect there's a generational parasite.

we were all raised with Numbers. the follower count, the like count, these are burned into our psyche. a neurosis coiled tightly around an objective metric of validation. a handful of years ago such a neurosis couldn't even exist! and it especially couldn't exist in a matter of seconds or minutes. your value as a person is a pair of dice that you roll and you snatch them back the moment you see snake eyes. almost all of the amateur art, music, writing we are exposed to has a number right under it. you don't get to evaluate it yourself. there is immediately a pavlovian connection, i like this thing, this thing has this number attached to it, if i can get a number like that i'm worthy of coexisting with this thing.

there's an almost instant dissociation between the craft, the skill, the time, and the FRUIT. what you get back. we are almost trained to care more about how popular something is than how good it is. not like, hollywood productions, or Columbia Records' chart topping album by a thirty something with A&R parents, but how popular someone just like you is on the internet. a plausible professional with a twitter account who draws whatever they want. someone you could relate to. someone you could be.

but because you want the numbers you skip the learning... you make something and put it out. and you keep doing this. your learning is public, your honing of the craft is documented before an audience of hopefully thousands. and you see what they respond to. and their responses steer the direction of your learning. you never have an opportunity to make something shitty. make something no one likes. experiment. you just keep feeding the computer. and it works until the point where you want to do something else, or something real, or something better, or something serious, and realize you don't know how. and you're like Fuck Shit why did I hustle instead of learning in peace.

but of course this is all by design. the numbers can't teach themselves more numbers if you doodle in your sketchbook and don't show anyone. i'm not sure if it was ever a specific person's idea to make everyone's entire life a performance, but whoever engineered it did a damn fine job. takes a sledgehammer to break out of. oh well ! in a few generations i'm sure all of our skin will have glare dampeners evolved specifically to vlog better with. and everyone will have forgotten what it's like to do something in your room, by yourself, because you like to do it

#forgot i had a tumblr im back hello

[amethysttribble]

Im sorry if this bothers you, but i was thinking about Jae and Alys parenting today, mostly in terms of saera and viserra, so what's your take on Feanors reaction to that whole thing in Everlasting Song. Like does he agree with their tactics (probably not...) or what? I really enjoyed your work and routinely rotate it in my head pretty much every single day.

AND NOW I have been rotating this question in my mind since you sent to me yesterday, thinking... considering... what a really great question, this isn't a bother AT ALL! It is my absolute pleasure to try and give an answer.

Feanor's take on Jaeherys and Alysanne's parenting, WHAT a thought. Now that I've cracked open the question of Feanor's historiographical takes, I'm tempted to have something like 'A History of House Targaryen, a Commentary by Ser Feanor Blackfyre' or something such floating around, the idea amuses me so much. You know Gyldayn hates it, if it exists.

But, okay, okay, let's think on this. Feanor would have grown up with a very traditionalist kind of education about the Targaryen monarchs. In text, basically everyone admires and thinks well of Jaehaerys and I believe Feanor would have been taught to admire him as well. And then Summerhall and Jaehaerys II.

I think his uncle being Jaehaerys the Second contributes a lot to Feanor's thought processes in regards to his historical evaluations, as he starts to read the histories more deeply. The comparison is natural.

I think he first goes, 'wait' when reading about the marriages Jaehaerys I and (and to and extent Alysanne) forced on his daughters and connects the dots to Rhaella and Aerys, neither of whom wanted to marry the other and got married really, really young, something Feanor is perfectly capable of realizing even at like twelve has been extremely bad for the both of them. I think every time he reads about one of Aerys's daughters, he thinks of Rhaella- Rhaella who isn't 'headstrong' like J&A's 'troublesome' daughters (who are almost described as evil by Gyldayn, it's so uncomfortable, not sure I agree with that writing choice), but suffers just as much, even as she does everything right

And Feanor, during JII's reign, is also feeling trapped and controlled and /unloved/ by someone who should love him, no, I bet he feels a great deal of sympathy for Viserra and Saera. Like, I'm sorry my life and my living of it makes you uncomfortable; I'm sorry it's inconvenient; sorry I'm here at all.

So, yeah, I don't think Feanor is primed to admire Jaeherys once he gets to the Citadel and then all bets are off.

I think once he starts studying, he notices what many people noticed while reading Fire and Blood, which is that most of J's good deeds are really Alysanne and Barth's good deeds that he signed off on. His respect for Jaehaerys dips lower. That being said, I don't think he's particularly in love with Alysanne's parenting style either.

Feanor grew up in an environment where, well, as Barristan says "all of King Aegon's children married for love." And the text makes clear that Aegon and Betha being permissive, loving parents causes serious problems for the realm, but Feanor's not likely to acknowledge that if even recognizes it. I think he believes that Alysanne prioritizing marrying her young daughters to 'safe' older men from her pool of friends to be selfish and short-sighted, at best.

I think in all things, when evaluating other people as parents, he compares them to his parents, who he /idolizes/ until the day he dies. And Alysanne and Jaehaerys come up wanting. Jaehaerys doesn't come off looking like a particularly great king either.

And those are my preliminary thoughts! This sent me down a rabbit hole, though, I can't help thinking- what did Feanor think of Aemon the Dragonknight? And what did that make him think of himself

#thank you so much for this! #I was so !!!! when I saw this ask #I LOVE talking about this story so thank you for the opportunity to ponder #ask #everlasting song #tribble post

[taintedmegane]

i have this new cartoon plot just hear me out. an animated series with two protagonists. one is a bubbly and nerdy nonbinary lesbian and the other is a serious and also nerdy + goth gay trans man. they go on super WACKY adventures together and get into all kinds of trouble! the lesbian is very friendly but can be kinda naive with their trust in others, and the gay dude kinda has a dark past thats kinda kicking his butt right now... but with the help of friendship he can get through anything! the lesbian protag even kinda brings out a softer side in him and he learns what friendship and love is kinda, even if he is kinda going through and and feels he doesn't deserve it because of his own past. god he's so edgy lol. but yeah. they're both spell casters btw so its kind of a fantasy setting. i think it would be funny if the gay dude was a wizard and the lesbian was some kinda being that can shift into any animal they want. i know it seems like a kids show because ✨ the power of friendship ✨ at first but i wonder if i should have them say fuck??? idk what do u think??

here's my sketches of the protagonists i have in mind :3 what do you think? do you think it's worth starting a kickstarter for this one?? i think tumblr would love it!

hey quick question. can you send concepts of the side characters too? preferably interacting with the main two? otherwise ill be unable to fully evaluate your proposal. i need something more... tangible.

and... you do have permission to use Velaris. that is true. you already have as seen above. but know that im falling ill. weak, even. i dont have long. so hurry mf.

#asks #gothipuff #fave #quagmire #velaris darcenell #nightmare squad #art

[averagecatdoodlesenjoyer]

🌟

Genuinely all of the main cast are my favorite characters. Though I do have to admit that I've also grown quite fond of the dummies and the floor masters over time.

...I imagine this answer isn't very satisfying so I'll tell you why I like each character but it's also 2:30 am for me and I'm very sleepy so this isn't a serious analysis or anything just pure feelings.

Warning incoherent ramblings and bad English

Sara: imagine being the strongest person in a death game and a group of people unanimously decide that you're their leader that will lead them to survival and there's also that one guy who hates you and wants you dead and also you're 17. I could never. I think Sara is a really cool protagonist honestly amd I also have a soft spot for caharcerts who are so very serious and powerful but also so silly..... I love Sara she's such a good character..... I love Sara..

Joe: ngl it was love from first sight. I love the 'happy go lucky best friend' archetype and he's so deeply caring and kind (and he can be pretty smart and a quick thinker too when the situation calls for it) and just.... ooghh im gonna cry

Keiji: weird guy relatable in the way he hates himself so much and is so convinced of being a bad person that he acts like one.

Kanna: Kanna!! Hi Kanna!! Haaaiii Kanna :333 she wears a bucket and acts like any 14 year old dragged in a death game would. She's very deeply trusting in contrast to Shin and it's sort of one of the biggest things about her character and I'm just :((( Kanna my dear precious baby girl.... Also do u ever think about how Kannas first trial was evaluating trust and Kugie trusted Kanna enough to let her use the key but Kanna couldn't save her and then she tells Sara to kill her and trust in Shin. Do u ever think about that. I just made that up its 3 am idk if this makes sense.

Q-taro: great character AND the fattest ass in the death game.

Shin: one of the best antagonists I've ever seen. Nankidai literally went 'what if the most reoccurring antagonist is Just Some Guy who is weak and kind and timid and is only an antagonist because he was told that he's doomed by the narrative' and it's AWSOME.

Reko: she's the normal one of the group if I'm being completely honest. I love her. I really enjoy that we see her in several different lights: the Reko who is kind to the weak (Sara's POV), the Reko who is harsh to the strong (Mishima's POV in YTTS), and the Reko before Alice's case, who is more abrasive and cold to everyone.

Nao: what can I say, I love my wife. She's grown A LOT during the events of the game and then DIED in a very sad way... Very tragic. Also I love that when bad stuff happens to her she thinks 'ok how can I incorporate this in my art' (how she wants to sketch the insects from the 'fly swatter' attraction and her fondness events in YTTS) very relatable tbh.

Kai: he has done nothing wrong ever and he's also very relatable.

Gin: WHO put him in a death game. He should be playing roblox not witnessing the horrors. He would call me a homophobic slur and I would forgive him.

Mishima: I genuinely believe he's actually the most powerful character in the game. Have you SEEN how easily he figured out that Shin was lying to him in YTTS and made him actually open up and befriend him instead. The only reason that his survival percentage isn't very high is because he puts others before himself and maybe in some simulations he died because of a trap involving trying not to smoke idk. I also LOVE his cartoonish mannerisms. I like to imagine he's very animated.

Alice: I would hate this guy irl and that's why I like him. He's so intense in everything it's hard to not find it enjoyable or at least entertaining. And then you find out that he's also actually pretty kind and protective of his loved ones and deeply sad and has a very tragic and complex backstory and it's the guy who says 'yikes!'.

...ok I won't write about the dummies and floor masters but I hope you were at least mildly entertained reading this. I have a lot more to say about every character and why I think they're all great but I'll need more time and energy for that

[plasmaapologist]

(@lavendertownfreak)

So… I was curious if I could get a professional opinion on what’s up with my Galarian Slowpoke Glockle. (Yes, I had a professional check them out, but I feel like they didn’t do a thorough enough evaluation in hindsight.)

For some reason Glockle just… doesn’t react to damage. Like, at all. The only real sign of physical trauma I can see is scaring around the base of his tail, but that seems to line up with the tail having grown back from being dropped. He seems to REALLY like battling, but I don’t wanna use him in battle given that he LITERALLY DOESN’T REACT TO GETTING HIT! I’m just curious if you have any ideas as to why he doesn’t react to harm. (For reference, he’s been hit by rock throws from my Rockruff, a bite from my Rockruff, and has even had my fairly above average sized Drednaw roll over his tail while he (the Drednaw) was sleeping. No reaction to ANY of it.)

i should preface this by saying that i dont have any experience with galarian slowpoke, however i worked with a small bloat of kantonian slowpoke who had an... unfortunate run in with a couple of awful teenagers. dont worry, all survived- theyre hardy little things. yes, a group of slowpoke is called a bloat. herd is accepted too :)

glockle not feeling an injury to their tail is perfectly normal for a slowpoke, as both forms possess little to no nerve endings in their tails! however, not feeling pain at ALL isnt normal. slowpoke are, well, slow to feel pain, and their senses are dulled, but they feel it eventually.

in my mind theres a few likely possibilities here:

glockle might be, to put it bluntly, not very bright. most slowpoke arent anyways, so a particularly, ahem, dense one might not notice at all. what im saying is he might feel pain, but in such a delayed manner that it doesnt warrant a reaction anymore

he may have abnormal pain responses, as in he IS showing hes in pain, but in an unusual or unnatural way

now, im not entirely sure slowpoke can have this, but its worth thinking about: he could have a rare condition known as "CIPA"; that is, "Congenital Insensitivity to Pain and Anhydrosis." in plain words, the pain receptors arent properly linked up to the brain, and therefore pain signals can not be sent or received. this condition is *very* serious, and if you suspect this may be the answer i reccomend seeking out a neurologist or other such specialist asap. this condition also, in almost all cases, causes an inability to feel differences in tempeature; its also extremely common for people and pokemon with CIPA to bite off sections of their tounges, so these could be good ways to check. remember; even a normal slowpoke will take a few to react.

or, yknow, hes just swole asf. extremely high pain tolerance + slowpoke dopeyness could look like a complete immunity

no matter what, glockle is extremely lucky to have a trainer that cares so much about him! a lot of evil people would see this as an exploitable "feature". i reccomend giving him extra breaks inbetween battles, and doing an extra thorough scan after each one. if regular battle is deemed unsustainable, perhaps glockle could find a place as a little cup mentor? hed still get to "battle" but will be taking significantly lighter blows.

oh and remember; this isnt my area of expertise, i could definitely be missing something. dont panic over anything yet, dont take what i said as gospel, and i hope these theories can help lead you down the right treatment path!

so uh... tldr: in my opinion hes probably either extra slow, a bit weird, buff asf or needs to see a neurologist. id reccomend eliminating the first three first because neurologists are expensive!

#i need to learn to be more concise #also glockle might be the best name ive ever heard #pkmn irl #rotomblr #unreality #pokeblogging #[admin says: cipa is a real condition that affects one in *125 million* people and i find it utterly fascinating] #[also boat is a term used for hippos of which slowpoke greatly reminds me of :)]

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

ask game: 10, 45, 72?

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

it's so funny you should ask this bc i was Literally complaining to ocean the other day about the trials and tribulations of trying to come up with titles 😭💀

most of the time, i come up with titles after the story is written (very, very rarely do i have title going into a story), and the level of difficulty in coming up with that title ranges drastically. my most recent fic that i posted today, for example, is called match point, and that title came to me super quickly after finishing the story! it captured several elements i incorporated into the fic (the idea of playing a game, tension, the brink of winning/losing, etc.). a fic i will be posting in an upcoming week, however, has a title that did not come easy (i think the title i ultimately went with was the third one i considered, truly a Rough several hours lol). in other words, the struggle of coming up with a title for me depends on the fic at hand

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

just three??? JUST THREE??? ngl i really don't have favorite authors, per se, i more just have favorite fics by assorted authors bc i read for such a plethora of fandoms 😂 im gonna say @ambivalentmarvel has written So Many of my favorite mcu fics (her Looking Glasses series owns me), @justoceanmyth has written a lot of my favorite atla femslash (ice and steel aka the maitara fic of my DREAMS), and lonely_is_so_lonely_alone is an author who has written some of my Favorite kincoy fics, including lovers lost in time. but literally i love so many authors 😭 especially my friends, including you!! every day i am surrounded by incredibly talented writers and i don't know what i did to deserve such a blessing

72. what do you do if a scene gets too serious?

in terms of reading a fic and this happens, i usually just evaluate where i am in the moment. if i want to keep reading, i do. if i don't, i click the back button and move on my merry way! in terms of writing, i don't think this has ever happened to me yet, just bc i like to Overly Plan my fics, meaning i typically know about how intense a scene will or won't be way in the beginning stages

#this was FUN!! thank you for letting me talk 😌 #amy answers #northerngoshawk

[littlemsstephanie]

Here is what I’m thinking today. Is it okay to be in a relationship, whether it be a new one, a long and serious one, a marriage, partnership, whatever!, and sometimes want your space? I don’t mean all the time. I mean, sometimes, you just don’t feel like cuddling, or having together time, and you aren’t in the mood for the regular goodnight hug and kiss? Is it okay to want your space sometimes?

I really think it is! I don’t mean all the time. If you constantly crave alone time away from your partner, and never want to have bonding time, and are okay with being away from them all the time, you may want to evaluate how much you actually want to be in this relationship, both for your sake and your partner’s.

Im talking about how it’s not only okay to have some alone time, it’s important! Just because you’re in a relationship does not mean you need to do all the expected dance moves of lovey-dovey, cuddly, gooey, romantic stuff all the time. Sometimes it’s okay to say, “tonight, I just want to be with me.” Just because you’re in a relationship, does not mean you should sacrifice the relationship you have with yourself.

Sometimes I feel guilty for not being as romantic and the desire for intimacy as much as my significant other does, but then I remember, I’m allowed to not want to be touched all the time. If I need my space after working all day, then that’s okay!

#i love my spouse #alonetime

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act.  whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between  ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

#mine #bo burnham #bojack horseman #bojack analysis #bo burnham analysis #comedy #essay #analytical essay #diane nguyen #sarah lynn #inside bo burnham #make happy #bo burnham what #long post #bojack rewatch #bojack ending #bo burnham netflix #bo burnham special #bo burnham my beloved #bjhm #satire #raphael bob-waksberg #netflix #netflix special #original essay #copyright ikb #reblogs appreciated!

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Young God-Part 1

Summary: Your power isn't even a power its simply words. You can understand people, get into their head and know them better than anyone all willingly on their end. This made you useful to the avengers when villains came and you could understand and fix them. When this is asked to be done to loki you cant help but fall for the god the more you get to know him.

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: Swearing, Loki being loki,angst

Notes: Ok lemme just start of saying loki isn't going to be...nice in the beginning of this i got the idea off of joker and harley quinn's relationship and slightly silence of the lambs so do with that what you will now i adore loki so he won't be a dick the whole time just yea someone getting into loki's head? he isn't too chill with that.

You walked down the stairs leading to the dungeon where the god was locked away ready for you to speak to. you heard the mocking laughs and sarcastic remarks made as you passed the cells.” “hey mortal lemme get a taste” he said thrust to you. you flipped him off not looking at him and passing on by. seeing the god laying on the couch reading a book you walked through the boundaries placed stepping before him. Odin had given you a pill, said it would allow you past the wall of an hour and only you. “hello” he said reading his book still. “apologies for my fellow inmates they can be quiet rude” he said with a small smirk.

“ironic coming from a man with the nickname silver tongue” you said sitting down on a chair in front of him. he placed down his book “oh doll there's more to that nickname” he said with a wink. you simply rolled your eyes in response. you had been told loki was like this. “anyways why are you here” he asked sitting up turning to you “did odin send you to make sure im behaving?” he asked with a snarky tone

You made a mental note of his hatred for odin, though from your interactions with the man you slightly understood that. “i'm here to speak to you” is all you said. loki scoffed “you doll are a horrible liar” he said with a smirk. He stood up and walked around you almost scanning you. “what's the real reason your here?” he asked behind you. “truly i am here to talk to you” you repeated with a straight face and shrug. “then talk” he said bending down right in front of your face. his breath ghosting over your face and his long wavy hair falling in his face. “your a god you live for years on end tell me loki, how old are you?” you asked. loki gave a smile before standing “my age? that's what you came for?” he huffed. “ill answer your questions if you answer mine” he said in return

you turned around facing him “i don't answer questions” you said with a shrug “oh come on doctor i know your other patients didn't just comply with your questioning” he said with a smirk. he was always smiling or smirking, never a true smile something to show planning, no not planning, anger? no not anger. hurt? yes thats it hes hurt and hides it with his devilish smile. to throw you off to push you away. make you fear him over wanting to know him.

Now the new question was how did he know you were a doctor. well you may not be an official doctor but you were one of sorts. You had been in college to get a phycology degree until fury swept you up making you work for him. you tilted your head alarming the god you were lost on his accusation. “oh dear as you said i am a god you don't think i could fall for your tricks and lies like the others did you?” he asked walking to you “doll only i make the tricks here” he said holding your jaw. “now we play by my rules” he said with another smile. “stop” you said. his smile widened “stop smiling” you said. you saw a hint of confusion wash over before it was erased with another smirk “why doll?” he asked. “because its a lie” you said. loki's face became serious “you talk of lies yet you wouldn't tell me why your here” he said walking around the room.

“Fine i'm here to evaluate you” you said simply “now will you answer my questions?” you asked. “I have been just not the ones you want the answer to.” he replied. “agree to my terms and ill be more than willing to answer you” he said with a sarcastic smile “i ask the questions not you” you replied. he shrugged laying back down reading his book again. you only had an hour with him so you had no choice but to comply with his rules or you'll get nowhere but you also didn't want the god to think he could just boss you around and throw a fit.

you shrugged picking up your bag walking out of the room. “1,054″ you said blankly. you turned confused “my age” he said still reading. you nodded walking back in “one question” you said sitting down. he smirked still looking at the book but not reading it “well start simple. name?” he asked. “y/n” you replied. “y/n....mmm now y/n why are you here?” he asked sitting up. “to evalu-” you started to say before he cut you off “why are you here?” he asked “were not doing this loki i said one question” you said standing back up. your hour was almost over. “what happened doctor don't like a taste of your own medicine?” he asked with a dark smile. “why do you do that? smile so much?” you asked. “you tell me you said it was a lie which means you've made your own deductions of it so tell me doc why do i smile so much?” he asked tilting his head.

“to make people uncomfortable. they see you smile this mischievous smile a smile that they expect from the god of mischief. you become what people expect of you so they stay away now why you push people you don't know away i'm not quiet sure on but i assume it has something to do with your spite for odin” you said simply. loki gave a wide smile standing up “well well well doc, you are utterly” he said behind you getting close to your ear “wrong” he said simply straightening backup. “now you well i do have so many things to say about you” he said moving in front of you. “you evaluate people thinking you know everything about them so much more than they know themself, from body language to words to the crime they commited. but i my dear am simply a king who deserved a throne and would fight for it” he said sitting back down “hours up doll better leave before your trapped in here” he said looking at you with another smile. 

Walking back up you felt unnerved. the god had a weird aura to him like he could read your mind. granted he may actually be able to in which case you need to be more careful about such things. you walked to your room feeling empty and drained. you fell back on the bed rubbing your face. the odinsons had given you your own quarters while you stayed there. there was  knock on the door and you groaned “its open” you replied and the door opened revealing yet another god, a kinder one. Thor walked over sitting next to you “how was loki?” he asked. “loki was....exactly how yall described him” you sighed. thor griminced he hoped his brother would behave “did you get anything out of him?” he asked. “just his age which is useless it was more a test to see if he'd comply with me. think he got more out of me than i of him” you said looking up at thor. 

“give him time. my brother can be...difficult but your a legend at this so you should do well it may take longer than usual but you'll get it” thor said cheerfully. you gave a small smile. you wanted to believe that you truly did but honestly you weren't sure. “loki sure is a strange guy” you said sitting up “Well he's not a guy hes a god such as i and he was raised by my mother” he said to you.

“get some rest i bet you'll do much better tomorrow” he said with a smile walking out. you sighed and changed, laying bed you felt sleep take over. 

you stood in a black room seeing your parents smiling faces “mom? dad? you said with a smile. you started to run to them before blood dripped from there eyes and they slowly faded away. you stepped back feeling empty once again. you heard a chuckle and turned seeing loki laugh and roll his eyes before vanishing too

You awoke with a small scream and your heart racing. you were drenched in sweat and tears streamed down your face. once you calmed you growled launching up from bed and walking down to the dungeon storming past the assholes shouting crude things at you. you stood at loki's cell banging on the wall “hey asshole” you said blatantly. “well hello to you too doll isnt this a shocker” he said with another smile god how you wanted to slap that smile off his face “shut up” you said. loki sat up looking at you “well what can i do for you?” he asked. “your not supposed to have you powers in here” you said with a stern face

loki tilted his head in mock confusion “why i don't” he said voice dripping in sarcastic hurt as if offended by such accusations. “don't lie you bastard! You were in my head i know it you know it so let's just both know it” you yelled at him. His smile widened “ok darling but see i do have one question left unanswered. how did your parents die?” he asked stepping to the glass. “they didn't it was simply a nightmare” you groaned. 

“no no see people who dream of the death unprompted feel pain,sadness,fear they try to stop it you well you felt nothing you just...stood there” he said looking down at you. “so how was it they died?” he asked. “if you can get in my head then you sure as shit know” you said looking down at the floor. you really did not want to speak of it.

“of course i do doll but i want to hear you say it” he said leaning on the glass. “i will not play into your game” you said storming off “you still hear it dont you? their screams” he said. “i do” he said after

you turned “pardon?” you asked walking back to him. “have a nice night darling” he said smiling walking back to his couch. “but you said-” you were cut off by the sounds of footsteps “oi you are not to be down here madam” the man said walking to you “oh yes sorry i must have sleep walked” you replied walking upstairs back to your bed.

laying down your head felt as if it was spinning. This was going to be an interesting roller coaster wasn't it.

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki of asgard #loki layfeyson x reader #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki odison x reader #MCU #MCU fanfiction #mcu x reader #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #tom hiddleston

[heejinnien]

i.jaebum & p.jinyoung | crimson roses part one

word count: 3k

pairing: jaebum x reader x jinyoung

synopsis: when y/n’s sister is murdered, she’s forced to evaluate everything that she thought she knew.

genre: mystery, witsec au

warnings: the reader is in a club (they’re old enough to legally be there), murder, gore, imagery used to describe the reader tripping over and finding a dead body, probably incorrect portrayal of the witsec program, there’s a mildly disturbing nightmare

rating: pg-17

author’s note: this is part one of the walking on sunshine event! it focuses on summer beginnings. i was partnered with @dreamystuffers​, and credits to them for the amazing moodboard! thank you @birbdae​ and ryan for being my beta readers. seriously, thank you for filling in all the spaces where i wrote blah blah 

“I freaking hate Tzuyu.”

You groan, dropping your head in your hands. Sympathetically, the bartender slides a glass of water towards you, accepting the grunt that you emit afterwards as a sort of thank you. You pause in your wallowing to take a long sip of the icy liquid, feeling the pressure in your head lift slightly.

“Rough night?”

The bartender’s smooth, baritone voice carries over the loud sounds of the club’s music, and you wince at his words.

“Something like that.”

The bartender looks as though he’ll say more, but he’s cut off by the sound of a high, feminine voice ordering another drink. You’re grateful for the distraction, sliding a wad of bills over the counter and slipping off of the metal stool. You appreciate the kindness he has shown you, but you really need to start looking for your sister.

Slowly, you begin to weave through the throng of clubgoers, searching for anyone who moderately resembles your sister. You wince as an elbow connects with your stomach and bite back a curse when a heel stabs your toe. Still, there is no sign of your sister.

Pushing your way to the far side of the club, you lean against a wall, panting slightly, and pull out your phone. The LED at the top signals that nobody tried to call or text you while you were struggling to navigate a mob of drunk clubgoers, and a knot of worry tightens itself in your stomach. It’s been over an hour since you last saw your sister. She left you at a booth with a few of your mutual acquaintances to go dance, and you haven’t seen her since. Giving them an awkward smile, you had slid out of the booth to go sit at the bar. You were more polite to them because they were your sister’s friends than anything, and you know you hadn’t been imagining the awkwardness that had settled into the air once your sister had left.

You quickly swipe through your phone, silently praying that Tzuyu will answer and tell you she took a cab back to your shared apartment and she forgot to tell you, or that she’s actually been in the bathroom constipated this entire time.

“Hi, this is Tzuyu, I’m busy right now, which is why I didn’t pick up…”

With a groan, you turn your phone off. Pushing yourself off the wall, you weave your way to the bathrooms, opting to begin your second search there. Unsurprisingly, the small metal stalls are empty. You cringe as your shoe sticks to an unknown substance, exiting the bathroom and mind racing about where Tzuyu’s whereabouts could be.

A cool breeze winds itself around you, tousling your hair gently and you freeze.

A breeze?

You turn away from the rest of the clubbers, following the hallway deeper into the building. The further you go, the darker it gets, and a second chill sets upon you, one unrelated to the cool breeze.

Heart pounding, you turn the corner and see a cracked doorway. The soft light of the night greets you, and you feel a spark of relief. Maybe her phone died and your sister went out this door to leave. You quickly hurry out the door, pushing it open and turning down the alleyway.

You’ve only gone a few paces, pulling out your phone to dial your sister again when your foot collides with something hard. Your arms flail as you attempt to right yourself, but you go down, your elbow colliding with something soft and your chin colliding with the hardness of the asphalt.

Letting out a groan, you try to push yourself up by pressing your hands against the ground on either side of you, but they slip. Something wet and sticky coats your hands, and confusion fills you as you blindly reach around you for your phone. Your fingers connect with the cold metal, and you’ve scarcely turned on the device and activated the flashlight before you’re greeted with the mutilated body of your sister.

It takes you a second to register that the loud noise you hear is your own screaming.

You stare blankly ahead of you in shock.

Vaguely, you hear someone talking to you, but it’s like you’re underwater, all the sounds around you muffled. The image of your sister is frozen in your mind, your fingers trembling as you grip the blanket that someone wrapped around you tightly.

You think back to the last time you saw her, only a few hours ago, smiling and joyous and alive.

If she were here with you right now, she would have something comforting to say. She’d always been the more level of you too, somehow able to keep calm even in situations when you’ve felt panicked. But she’s not.

It should have been me, you think bitterly, rocking back and forth.

“Miss L/N.”

A hand settling on your arm causes you to jump and pull yourself out of your trance. Dumbly, you look at the hand, using it to trace your way up the unknown person’s wrist and arm until you can see their face. Concerned eyes stare back at you, and you force yourself to listen to what the unknown man is saying.

“I’m sorry to say this, but your clothes need to be bagged for evidence.”

You blink, unable to process the man’s words. 

“Miss L/N, please. I know you want us to catch whoever did this to your sister, and we’re trying our best, but we need to bag your clothing as evidence.”

The mention of your sister clears the fog that has settled over you, and you nod. Weakly, you stand, following the man as he guides you to a restroom. He hands you a bag and a stack of clothes, instructing for you to change into the new set and bag the old clothes.

Robotically, you do as he tells you to until you’re changed into a sweater several sizes too big and a pair of jeans that cling to your legs tightly. You splash water on your face, staring at yourself hollowly in the mirror. You hardly recognize yourself, a foreign, hollow look in your eyes. Get it together, Y/N, you chide yourself. You can cry about this later. For Tzuyu.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you turn, exiting the bathroom with the bag of your old clothes in your hands. As soon as you exit, several furtive glances are sent your way. You furrow your brows in confusion, and a new, unknown man hurries over to you. 

“Please follow me quickly, Miss L/N.”

“I don’t understand.”

The man doesn’t respond, hurrying you through the station and down a hallway until you’re stopped in front of a closed door. A plaque centered on the door  reads “Sergeant Park.” Not wasting the time to knock, the man pushes open the door, taking the bag from your hands and ushering you in.

“Miss L/N, I’m so sorry about your loss.”

Hearing those words makes your throat tighten again, and you force your feelings down. You look around you, noting the awards adorning the walls around you. Two men stand inside the office, both wearing grim expressions. The one who spoke is seated behind the desk, and he stands, gesturing for you to take the free seat opposite him.

“There’s something we need to talk to you about.”

“My sister was a good person, she wasn’t mixed up in anything — ” You protest.

“That’s not what this is about.” The man opposite you, Sergeant Park, you assume, holds up his hand. “Time is crucial here, so please just listen to what I have to tell you.”

You nod, throat clogging from fearful anticipation.

“The Black Rose is the name of a powerful crime syndicate who’ve been running for the past few decades. We’ve tried our best to stop them, but they have connections everywhere.”

“My sister — ” You spring to your feet.

“Miss L/N. Please.”

You sink back into the chair, cheeks burning and thoroughly chastised. Once you’re seated, Sergeant Park continues.

“We’re not sure who all is involved with them, but what we do know is that they mark every kill, and they never kill without reason.”

Your thoughts race as you hear the unspoken words. “And my sister was marked,” you deadpan.

Sergeant Park nods grimly, and a hysterical laugh bubbles up within you. It dies instantly at the serious expression on Sergeant Park’s face.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Sergeant Park purses his lips, speaking slowly. “Until we know for sure, we need you to go into witness protection. We promise that we wouldn’t make you do this if we weren’t sure that your life is at serious risk. Mr. Im?”

Sergeant Park gestures to the other person in the room, who you assume is Mr. Im. Until now, he’s been silent, and you almost forgot that he’s here. He gives you a gentle smile.

“Please, call me Jaebum.” His tone is soothing, and you want to trust him. Still, you bite your lip, hesitant.

Sergeant Park speaks again. “Mr. Im will protect you the entire duration of the program. I promise that you’re in good hands. You guys will leave tonight.”

Alarm bells ring in your head. “Wait, tonight? I don’t understand. I still have finals, and what about my life here — ”

“Miss L/N.” Sergeant Park fixes you with a stern look. “I understand that things may seem intimidating right now, but I need you to do your best to do what we say. You could be a key role in this investigation, and Mr. Im is here to ensure that no harm comes to you. I know that this isn’t ideal, but please just let us protect you.”

You look from Sergeant Park to Jaebum. The latter gives you a reassuring smile, and your head still reels from all of the events of the night, but you find yourself nodding.

“Okay,” you breathe. “Okay, what do I have to do?”

“You keep twisting your bracelet.”

Jaebum’s voice pierces through your mindless thoughts and the dull monotony of the journey. You have been driving for the better part of the night, your thoughts still racing as you try to process everything. You look down at the bracelet Jaebum is talking about, and even though it’s dark you know what he’s talking about.

“My sister gave it to me,” you say simply.

“It must be pretty important to you, then,” he observes, eyes never straying once from the road.

“Something like that,” you say, assuming that’s the end of the conversation. Seconds later, Jaebum speaks again.

“Look, Y/N, I know that a lot has happened in one night — ”

“Please don’t,” you whisper, voice cracking. You clear your throat, staring out the window at the dark shadows of the landscape. “Don’t try to act like you understand how I feel. Twenty-four hours ago I was just a college student, and now…”

You swallow thickly, a lump forming itself in your throat.

“You are still just a college student, Y/N.”

“You know, aren’t you supposed to be using my new name?” You force yourself to change the topic, looking at Jaebum out of the side of your eyes.

Jaebum coughs awkwardly. “We aren’t there yet, and I thought that using your real name would make you more…comfortable with me.”

You scoff, but don’t speak. Awkward silence fills the car, interrupted only by the occasional sound of the night from outside your car window.

You remain like that for the rest of the ride. Everytime you think about saying something, you bury it, not wanting to show interest.

After a while, the road turns to dirt. The car bounces along the new road, and you can’t help but feel even further isolated from your old life. Jaebum pulls down a narrow driveway, and then the car stops, bathing a small cottage in the car’s light. Jaebum turns off the car’s ignition, and as you open the car’s door, you can hear the soft sound of waves crashing. Sand crunches beneath your shoes as you take in the sights around you.

You hear the sound of the trunk close, and seconds later Jaebum rounds the car, duffel bags gripped in his hands.

“This is it,” Jaebum says.

“I guess so,” you agree, exhaling nervously. You follow Jaebum up the cottage’s steps, hovering uncertaintly as he unlocks the front door. Following him inside, you squint against the bright  yellow lights of the cottage.

You’re standing in a small living room. To your left is the kitchen and what you assume is the dining room, and to the right is a hallway. Jaebum leads you down the hallway, setting one of the duffle bags in front of a plain, unassuming white door.

“This is your room. Mine is right next to you.” Jaebum knocks goofily on the door in front of him, and you let out a short laugh.

“Okay.”

You grab your bag, pushing open the door to the room. You pause in the doorway, unsure. “Good night, Jaebum.”

A moment passes, and then you can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “Good night, Y/N.”

“Tzuyu! Where are you?”

You’re in a meadow, tall stalks of wheat reaching your shoulders. You frown, trying to remember how you got here, but you can’t. Alarm bells ring in your head, and you push through the stalks, searching for your sister.

“Tzuyu! Tzuyu! Where — are — you?”

Your voice is reflected back at you, distorted and garbled. Panic rises in you, bubbling hot like lava, and you begin to push through the stalks around you faster.

Finally, you stumble upon a clearing. A flock of birds takes flight, and your eyes scan the clearing, frantic. A body lies on the ground unmoving, and you run towards it.  Deep in your gut you know who it is, but that doesn’t stop the gasp that leaves you as you clearly identify the girl lying there.

It’s Tzuyu.

The sight of her body makes you freeze, and before you can stop it you trip. When you regain your bearings, you’re back in the alley again. You blink, trying to orient yourself, and as you do Tzuyu’s hand shoots out, wrapping itself around your wrist. A scream gets choked in your throat as your sister sits up,  smile stretching too wide for her face.

“Why didn’t you save me?”

“Tzuyu, you’re hurting me,” you cry, trying to pry your sister’s grasp from your wrist. She only holds on tighter, other hand shooting out and wrapping itself around your throat.

“Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you SAVE ME?”

A scream tears its way out of your throat, and you shoot into a sitting position, clutching the comforter you had admired just hours earlier against you. Your breathing is ragged, and dimly you hear heavy footsteps. Seconds later, harsh light floods your room and you throw your hand against your forehead, shielding your eyes from the intrusion.

Jaebum’s eyes are wild as he takes in your room, the way you’re sitting up, clutching the comforter against you. His muscles relax as he ascertains that you are physically safe, eyes softening at the sight of you.

“Are you okay?”

You nod, embarrassment beginning to seep through your previous horror.

“I’m sorry, had a nightmare.” You force yourself to laugh, the sound an octave too high to be believable. “You can just go back to your room, everything is fine.”

You swallow forcefully, staring down at the comforter and picking at a thread that has unwound itself from the careful stitching. Silently, you yell at Jaebum to leave. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand being mortified, discomfort seeping into the air around you.

After a long pause, you hear the gentle click of your door close. You don’t bother to look up, instead electing to close your eyes, sure that by the count of ten, he’ll be gone.

You’ve just reached eight when you feel your bed dip, and strong arms wrapping themselves around you. You stiffen, eyes snapping open to glare at the offender.

“You don’t have to treat me like a baby, I told you that I’m fine.”

“It’s okay to be weak you know.”

To your immense horror, you feel your eyes begin to well. You blink rapidly, trying to untangle yourself from Jaebum’s presence, but he holds on tightly. Before you can stop it, all of the emotions of the past twenty-four hours hit you, crashing against the gate that you had shoved them behind. The emotions you felt at your sister’s death, the emotional burden of having to suddenly end your old life and going into hiding suddenly become too much, and before you can help it tears stream down your cheeks. You gasp as you struggle to breathe, everything suddenly just becoming too much.

Time goes by without either of you realizing it, and neither of you know how long you remain in that position, Jaebum patting your back lightly as your grief pours out of you. After a few sniffles and swipes across your eyes you let out a groan, pulling away and digging the heels of your palms into your eyes.

“God, I can’t believe I just did that.”

“It’s okay, everyone has to let go of emotions at some point.” Jaebum gives you a gentle smile. “You should try to get some rest.”

“Will you stay with me?” Jaebum’s eyes widen, and you quickly scramble to backtrack. “I mean, you don’t have to — I don’t know what I was thinking — ”

“Of course I will.” Jaebum cuts off your ramble, smiling brightly. “I’ll just bring in a blanket from my room and sleep on the floor — ”

“You can share with me if you want. I don't mind; we both need a good night sleep, right?” You blurt quickly, panting slightly as you finish your question. Jaebum simply laughs, running a hand through his hair. He climbs onto the bed and lays on his side, patting the bed next to him. Shyly, you crawl next to him, laying down and trying not to think about the position you’re in too deeply.

Wrapped in the comfort of Jaebum’s warmth, you close your eyes, focusing on the gentle sounds of your breathing. A sense of tranquility washes over you, and you finally fall asleep.

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#on the shore #kpopscape #summerscape #got7writerscollective #jaebum x reader #im jaebum #im jaebeom #park jinyoung #jinyoung x reader #got7 #got7 jinyoung #got7 fics #got7 au #witsec au

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

#asky #careposting

[mistaeq]

For the Gods AU, how do you think Josuke would react if his s/o got hurt from some of the jealous nymphs while he was away?

apollo!josuke: with a s/o hurt by jealous nymphs

tw // bloody knees (??) slight mention of blood, not a main topic

contains: apollo!higashikata josuke's reaction to a neutral!reader who got hurt by jealous nymphs while he was away

dora's note: today i bring this request for the greek gods!duwang gang au, which was really appreciated. here you go🤍

taglist: @im-a-gay-frog @outofthiszawarudo @gintokayy @pr3sa

word count: 1.1k

↳ goodness, he's so angry. this leads to consequences that extend to the birth of a new myth, an everlasting love, as much as an everlasting revenge. this leads to a bittersweet ending, but more than sweet just for you and more than bitter just for the nymphs. josuke, the god of the sun, has a heart, and it has been stolen by someone who deserves to take care of it and knows how to do that. some creatures couldn't just cope with it properly.

↳ he found out it happened thanks to aphrodite (yukako) and dionysus (okuyasu), who ran to him with a worried look on their faces. it was the first time those two were so close without actually fighting or without aphrodite trembling in fear, so it must have been serious enough to scare josuke.

↳ the two deities were trying to put an end to their constant fear and anger in meeting each other, when the disturbing sound of annoying laughter stung their ears. and it was even more disturbing than aephaestus' tools' sound when they were beaten on the iron.

↳ josuke's face when yukako tells him how she managed to get you away from those nymphs and the look that was on your face, is priceless.

↳ you were on your knees, in front of the laughing nymphs, in a shallow puddle. blood was coming out of your consumed kneecaps, since you had been kneeling down in front of them to listen to their mockings quite a lot lately. judging by the way they were talking to you, dionysus assumed and told josuke you had probably been kneeling down in front of the nymphs before, as if the mocking sessions to you were usual.

↳ apollo is pretty impressed by dionysus assuming something.

↳ after he's left alone with himself, josuke can't help but blame his own self for what happened to you. maybe, if he kept on sticking around you more often, this wouldn't have occured. plus, he couldn't find an explanation to the fact that he never noticed something like this was happening right in front of his eyes.

↳ how could he be so stupid to think that such creatures like the nymphs would have let him love someone without them all trying so hard to take their place. clearly impossible and barely possible. apollo felt terribly guilty for it.

↳ he reached for you immediately as he got to know the news, having known by aphrodite that you currently were with echo (koichi), who was taking care of your wounds. you needed plenty of rest, and being with someone who didn't really want to speak would have been useful for you. but the creature couldn't help but repeat your last words, and it showed when apollo arrived.

↳ he was greeted by a desperate koichi, who kept repeating apollo's name, because that's what you had been craving during the last minutes spent there. josuke's arrival.

↳ "you've been waiting for me, and i couldn't be there for you when i should have. i'm ready to take all the responsibility for the consequences of this. i'm not gonna let anyone who hurt you get away with it." apollo muttered, sitting next to your bed.

↳ josuke spent the rest of his time with you, for a long amount of hours. you eventually recovered, and never approached the nymphs again, but the deity's mood and patience were now scarred on a dangerous level.

↳ it was one of the few times a crying deity could be seen. it must have not looked like that big of a deal, but for two deities who hate each other to intervene together, it must have been cruel and rough, and he couldn't be there to protect you. what kind of deity should protect humanity, if he's not even able to protect the creature he loves?

↳ both of you are gonna have to comfort the other, since you both look lost in your own thoughts and in your own self, negative evaluation. he's gonna make you feel special and protected, josuke's gonna apologize a thousand times to you, not usual at all for a deity, above all a deity like apollo. you're gonna have to make him feel enough. let him know it's not his fault.

↳ for more than six months, the sun didn't appear in the sky. no matter how much you tried to talk him into letting go and resume his tasks, no matter how much his father's (zeus, joseph) anger intensified on earth because of his son's lack of activity. apollo was angry and wanted everyone to witness that.

↳ this scary happening will be remembered by humanity as the myth of the midday moon. every six months, apollo refuses to bring the sun up in the sky.

↳ after that, no nymphs kept on bothering you or josuke. they lived forever in their jealousy, knowing the god that oh so much used to spoil them with attention, was now yours. but holding a grudge on you had no point. you didn't choose to be the one apollo would have laid his eyes on. you just had the luck to be the one.

↳ josuke trapped the jealous nymphs inside the trees that were the most lightened by the sun, so that they could witness forever the happiness of his and of yours, right where your love burnt the most, burnt in your heart like fire and in the nymphs' mind like boiling envy.

↳ during the six months in which he does put the sun up in the sky, he carries you with him on his carriage, and the two of you bring the light to the whole olympus and the mortal world.

↳ the only light the world needs in his opinion in the six months during which he doesn't put the sun up in the sky, is you.

↳ after that day, prepare to tender sessions of an idle lifestyle with apollo, because he'll love to enjoy a good day next to you. nobody's gonna hold him back from setting up a lunch in the nature, right in front of the trees that contain the nymphs' souls. josuke has never loved war, nor hate or cruelty. this is why, apollo's punishment for it, especially towards someone he deeply loved, was long lasting, slow and consuming.

↳ "i am never going to get caught lacking again in protecting you, my y/n. forgive me for everything that happened. even deities have to improve themselves for their creatures." he'd kiss the back of your hand. "don't they?"

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part four #diamond is unbreakable #jjba au #greek gods #duwang gang #higashikata josuke #yamagishi yukako #nijimura okuyasu #sweet mutuals