#im never going to be 100% satisfied anyway so might as well post it now

[fairywinds]

i will be a hero!

#precure #mew.jpg #sora harewataru #cure sky #spent the whole day on this #there's some things im unhappy about but i think its still okay!! #im never going to be 100% satisfied anyway so might as well post it now #anyway #ive actually started this drawing months ago traditionally #but i didn't like the way it looked so i digitalized it #im glad i did cause it would've been a shame to just. abandon it #so yeah! #hiropre is awesome go watch it now

[tessa-and-friends]

a script that takes us out of love

Tessa Forrest · Things I Said

hey, so today I wanted to talk more about my first released song, it is called Things I Said, and It appeared to be a very important one for me. I am really attached to the lyrics, and very proud of how there are no filler lines in them, I wrote a lot more verses for that one, and then carefully chose only the meaningful ones, and gosh, that was satisfying. This song started with a guitar riff I played on the porch of my house on a July evening. I am not a skilled guitarist, and much more familiar with the piano, so when something that interesting and nice came out of my fingers... I wanted it to become a good song.

I was thinking of how it feels to come out of a stuffy house straight into a fresh summer night when you are at a party where you don’t feel you belong. I thought of how it feels to meet an old friend with whom you used to be very close once but ended up falling apart for all the wrong reasons. How you are happy to see them, but also feel awkward and regretful. How you start speaking, and at first it feels great, but also like walking across a minefield, because there are too many things you don’t talk about. And then one of you speaks something that triggers you both, and you already know the scrip of an argument you are going to have, so you just suggest getting outside and breathing some air to break the cycle.

  I tried to picture that moment, when you get so pissed off you say something you immediately regret, but also still fill pissed because sometimes... well sometimes people keep asking the question not because they want the truth, but because they want you to say something they want to hear from you, and make it true through your confirmation. If that makes sense.

In the next part of the song, I love how it goes straight to a normal conversation, you switch the topic to avoid the dangerous one. And also there is that bittersweet feeling like you pretend you moved on with your own life and you are so mature and independent, but also you was thinking of them every sleepless night and kept talking to them in your mind. And when you admit, I missed you so much. And also you think of your past back then it looked like you were fighting for all the right reasons but from the distance, it just looks like wasted precious time.

The next verse is “a few moments later” moment, I wanted to picture that feeling when you are talking in the kitchen with someone, in a low voice, and you both are so tired you feel numb, and also you feel like the sleepiness makes you dizzy and you might start talking about something you don’t want to. And so you just cut the conversation, saying, okay, let's go to sleep before we messed up the relationships we’ve just started fixing. 

Next part kind of sticks out for me? Whatever,  I think of it as a flashback of some idyllic time when we were kids and had fewer regrets and bad experiences, and more pure hope for the future, like those summers in high school when you feel the world is all yours. And the ending, epilogue, as I call it, is advice to myself on how to stop ruining relationships and my own life: learn to let go. If you are terrified to lose something, you will eventually end up losing it. Fear poisons everything, so we should not let it rule our lives. People go and stay (I talked about that in the MCR post, eventually), and no one will be with you 100% of your life, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you or they won’t come back once they’ve left, and the only thing that lasts and means -- is love. The only power that could save us. Full lyrics in case you’re interested :)

Let’s go get some air, cause this conversation has gone wrong, Until we’re stuck in a script that takes us out of love It was on ten top things I didn’t wanna say, but you kept asking anyway, You never wanted the truth, truth doesn’t sounds good and now there’s nothing left to say   How have you been? I haven’t seen you ever since, those summer night wasted on fights and dumb regrets Im doing fine, with my own life, your constant presence in my mind And though I miss you more than I can ever tell Let’s go get some sleep cause we’ve been talking all night long Before we walk into trap that triggers my pressure point You were the closest friend that I have ever had And now we fall apart again It was decisions made, It was my fatal mistake And now there’s no one I can blame Let’s dance outside in sunset light to all those dreams that might come true In august skies, the stars won’t lie, our future looks so bright and full Of underlined lyric lines Let’s dance outside till sun will rise set out hopes high for tonight Let go of all things All the things you’re terrified to lose Before you let fear Take away the light that shines on you It comes and goes and stays There is no other way And love is one thing that remains

#singer songwriter #original song #indie musician #indie music #independent music #sad songs #poetry

[yggdrasil-mith0s]

I need some serious psychological help: Confessions from the blog owner.

Okay, so feel free to ignore this but I feel like I need to get some things off my chest and seriously talk about some things. This blog has been my lifeline over the past few years with my followers becoming my only friends. My best friends. People that genuinely care about me and listen to me. So I feel the need to say some things, let you all know where I am currently at in life, and possibly receive some advice if anyone reads this.

First, let me say I think I have gone through life with undiagnosed AD(H)D. Everytime I am genuinely interested in something career related or getting back into school, I start to get things together. Before I know it, I lose all interest and completely leave it behind, never to follow through. I have a bad problem with this in almost everything I do. It's also why I have 10 different save files in different games and none of which ever get beaten except maybe 1 or 2. I haven't made any significant strides or moved forward in life at all.

Another thing I have come to realize is I hate who I am. No, I don't mean my morals or how I am genuinely empathetic. I mean I have believed I was a straight cisgender male for 3/4s of my life. Being in quarantine has helped me figure out a few things. Mainly that I am Nonbinary and I am Pansexual. I am sure of that now. It's lead to quite the mental breakdown and uncovering bottled emotions and traumas. Others had me convinced I was cisgender male by hateful words, cunning deciet, and manipulating tactics and twisting my mindset into thinking I was wrong for considering anything other than cisgender male. @prideknights had a beautiful submission that basically opened my eyes to how hateful words have caused me to hate myself, for I was forcing an identity that didn't belong to me to satisfy those that wanted to give identities or take them to fit their agenda/beliefs. I fell for it. And it's no wonder I have been dealing with depression, dysphoria (though I didn't understand what it was till someone recently told me "yeah, that's gender dysphoria notbro (They say notbro instead of bro because they are nonbinary and use notbro as a NB way of saying bro lol). So I have dropped he/him pronounces and go by they/them. Still, I am unpacking a lot of trauma and beliefs that aren't my own mixed with those that are mine. I haven't gone completely public with my revelation because of fear and anxiety. I'm not ready to announce it on FB and have family I hardly talk to and other people know. I'm not ready for that in case I receive hate in any way because that's what caused me to suppress myself to begin with.

It's hard to love yourself while hiding the real you deep inside because of what others have said and done. What society does is create a world where people live in their own bubbles and anyone who enters that bubble is expected to follow their rules and beliefs. Eventually, entering enough of other people's bubbles, mostly toxic ones, will shrink yours to the point where nothing belongs to you, not even your gender or lack there of.

My sister's boyfriend recently moved in. He is great to my sister but incredibly abusive to me. I have left hints but my sister hasn't noticed. He is mentally abusive and recently he shoved me really hard. I can't outright tell my sister because she loves him and I'm kind of scared of what he might do if she breaks up with him because of me tbh. So I am trying to move out but have no money or anything to do so. I have found somewhere I can stay but I need a $250 down payment. I have $70. So I still need $180. The abuse is getting worse and worse and I think he knows I am NB now and I believe he is secretly a bigot. Again, I can't say anything and I am scared for both my sister and I. Though he does treat her really great. I think he just might have issues with me. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe he just hates LGBTQ+ people and knows. My sister knows I am Pansexual and I have brought a trans guy I had a crush on over... So yeah. I need to get out while she is dating him.

If anyone wants to help with my downpayment of $180 then you can donate to PayPal.me/yggdrasilmithos

My email for that PP is [email protected].

That isn't necessary, though. I am also in search of a true therapist because I seem to have a lot of issues and things bottled up that I haven't unpacked. I want to know what's wrong with me and why I always lose interest, why I constantly find myself in traumatic experiences even though I try to avoid it. I want to find out what trauma I continue to hide while it still hurts me.

It might help my depression and anxiety to see a good therapist and truly talk to someone and open up completely without holding a single thing back.

Im trying y'all. I truly am. Please hang in there. Soon I will regain my full interest and post a bunch of content again. One thing that has held my interest is this blog, the people involved on this blog that are friends now, and the Tales of series. Though it fluctuates in how often or how much interests I'm currently holding.

Anyways, if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. Feel free to message me as well. I could use some friends, tbh. I don't have anyone in real life to talk to which is why I confide in this blog.

Also, if anyone donates and would like a post dedicated to you, gifs of some videos or gameplay made then just message me and let me know. I will make content for anyone that wants me to and donates, even if it is a dollar! I will make everyone gifs if their choosing or random Tales content gifs. My Paypal and email is 5 paragraphs up lol.

But it's 100% okay if not. I posted this just to let y'all know where I'm at in life right now.

Edit: I'm hanging on by a thread and had a good cry moments ago which is why I felt the need to post this and share with you all (my friends).

#personal #op #my life #thoughts #lgbtq #nonbinary #pansexual #breaking from old beliefs #finally free of lies i used to tell myself like i was a cisgender straight male #all lies #okay to reblog

[choupichoups]

how to not get disheartened at others being so much better than me at writing?:( i feel like if their brilliant, brilliant work exists, mine is actually not even needed out there bc why would anyone want it? its not as good (im sorry if this is unwanted)

Ok i know it's really hard to not compare ourselves to others, especially when we have so many writers now, but that's exactly what we have to stop doing.

Nobody does it perfectly on the first try, or the 5th or the 20th or maybe even the 100th? When I joined my first fandom, I wrote absolute mess but guess what 1 or 2 people maybe found a little enjoyment from that mess HAHA, and that made me happy. I looked up to the writers who'd write so so well and receive so much attention and i thought wOW how did they do that with words?? Would love to get on their level someday!! But the only way to get there is to write mORE.

Anyway we all have those anxious thoughts (y'all know i'm still scared of everything i post) but I think, if you truly enjoy writing, outside of how the readers may react to it, you just keep going. Eventually you'll reach a point where you might even be very proud with what you write (prob not satisfied though i've never met a writer who's 100% satisfied cause we g r e e d y) and you can look back at your past self and be like GOOD JOB DWEEB I'M THE WRITER YOU LOOK UP TO.

#ask #anonymous #im a pro at pep talks #no i dont take constructive critISISM #i spelled that wrong #whatever

[thaumatological]

im gonnaaaa revise and post my very dirk centric analysis of the epilogues here as well

also in case it needs stating, spoilers abound!

i read through both of the epilogues simultaneously yesterday, consuming both at the same time rather than one and then the other, and i feel like while it may not have been the most “satisfying” approach from a character-centric perspective, i have a more complete understanding of the stories than those who read them separately. if you’ve read through both and have the stomach to do it again for some reason, i suggest doing it in parallel, m1 c1 m2 c2 etc.

i will warn you though, i ended up having two nightmares at the same time in my dreams last night. like, simultaneously, two separate threads of terror unraveling in my subconscious. i woke up this morning already knee deep into an analysis of the homestuck epilogues, and it was less like “waking up” and more “becoming aware that i was conscious”

anyway, without further ado!

dirk killing himself in candy 14 is the scene that resonates with us as being “dirk” because it is. that’s all dirk, our dirk, the one from homestuck. he Has to do that in order for candy to continue being candy, and part of me believes that he knew that on a conscious level—hence his death being just. he knew he wouldn’t get a nice fluffy outcome in the candy timeline because him, all of him, not just this one instance, was fated to be meat dirk.

—and speaking of, the concept of Ultimate Selves pretty much squares away meat dirk. he doesn’t read like our dirk, the one from homestuck canon, because the narrative explicitly states he’s Not anymore. he’s become all of him, all of him from across paradox space, including notable players bro, doc scratch, and lord english. dirk’s Ultimate Self is a culmination of every possible him taken to the highest intensity. it reads like one of his personal nightmares because it WAS his personal nightmare—the personal nightmare of our dirk. he’s a prince of heart. the ascension to his Ultimate Self resulted in the complete destruction of the barriers between his splinters. the more i think about it, the more brilliant it is. he seems out of character as the dirk we know and love because he isn’t.

i feel like i finally Get it, but i’m still not looking forward to seeing people who dislike dirk using this to discredit the progress he made on his personal journey (ie “see he was evil the whole time!”) nor am i looking forward to all of the “dirk would never do this! it’s ooc writing!” from people who seem to have missed the part of homestuck where what scared dirk about himself most was the undeniable truth in it. there’s more than one example of “bad dirk and/or dirk byproducts” out there in paradox space. it’s more than feeling like you “might” be bad, it’s… being afraid of what you would be if you weren’t so afraid of being it, it’s seeing things that were a result of You-but-not-you and having to stare down the fact that even if you weren’t bad, even if you didn’t, you could have, would have, did. dirk’s Ultimate Self being a nightmare scenario is ..almost a recursive throwback to his fears about his ultimate self (note capitals)

him taking control of the narrative was epic though. it honestly did not catch me off guard? it makes sense. it is a 100% dirk strider move. if you haven’t read it by now for some reason, go read detective pony. i am diagnosing you with read detective pony by sonnetstuck. it’s terminal.

the only two people aside from hussie to have controlled the narrative in homestuck canon are the cherubs. and i did make the point somewhere up there that dirk absorbed lord english, and by extension, caliborn. that’s WHY he got that ability. not because he’s a prince of heart. dirk controlling the narrative makes sense from the perspective of dirk controlling the external narrative as well, ie, the whole thing is on a piece of paper that he wrote as some form of bizarre cathartic self punishment for his existence, but in the grander scheme of things and truth of homestuck dirk controlling the narrative makes sense as the puppetmaster-turned-puppet we see him become in several of his iterations, because caliborn literally becomes part of him.

everything is so skewed by the narrators. yes, both of them, because the whole point of the epilogues is that both of them suck and muse calliope is just as shitty as “impartial” “narrator” as Ultimate Self dirk is. it actually makes the whole thing a lot greyer in morality than it comes across at first. US dirk does a lot of Bad Shit as narrator, yeah, but even as passive as she is, calliope’s narration has its flaws (see: everything relating to trickster mode)

the epilogues are less about the characters themselves and more about a grander conflict between the two cherubs, using dirk and jade as their puppets—and yes, muse calliope is using jade as a puppet LITERALLY, which upsets me on so many levels i can’t even get into it here. let jade be fucking relevant and happy hussie or so help me i will write myself into your narrative and do some renovation of my own. but dirk is equally deprived of his agency in this scenario. i’m not going to debate with anyone about the inherent goodness/badness of dirk strider because that’s an entirely different essay, but in canon, dirk’s entire arc is about NOT becoming exactly what he becomes in the epilogues. the dirk we know didn’t choose to become his “Ultimate Self,” the dirk we know doesn’t get a choice between meat and candy, the dirk we know is at the mercy of the narrative even as he pretends to control it.

and that’s not something new to dirk strider, in any variation of himself. i’m specifically going back to thinking about the term “puppetmaster-turned-puppet” here, because i like it. in canon, we see dirk get out-puppeted by hal. it’s implied that bro is being controlled at least in part by lil cal, who is in turn.. a splinter of dirk indirectly via hal via arquiussprite. i’m getting a little lost in all the splinters. why is dirk’s worst enemy consistently himself? don’t answer that. uhh also it should be mentioned that makes lil cal a puppetmaster-turned-puppet-turned-puppetmaster, both literally and metaphorically. i fucking hate andrew hussie.

anyway, both of the epilogues do all that shit to to drive home the point that both of them (and i mean muse calliope and LE here when i say both, because this has officially stopped being about the dirk we know) are removed from human concepts like “good” and “evil” and represent duality in an alien manner that to a casual observer could be mistaken for some objective statement about morality, but they’re both wrong to us from our perspective as humans with human morals. the choice of candy and meat from the beginning was a cherub one. that’s not a balanced meal! that’s not even a reasonable dichotomy for humans! meat is not more real or “canon” than candy was, both of them are very flawed stories being manned at the helm by omnipotent green aliens.

okay we’re ALMOST done here, i just want to touch on the actual authors of the narrative rather than the ones the narrative insists are its narrators. by which i mean the actual real life human beings who wrote the epilogue. the point i was making above about how dirk doesn’t have any agency? the point of these epilogues were that none of the characters have any agency in their stories. every work is a reflection of its author, even when aforementioned authors are hiding behind pseudoauthors on a narrative level.

the homestuck epilogues feel very meanspirited to me. they punish their readers for not understanding their intentionally heavyhanded meta. homestuck was always very meta, but it was also fun. this, on the other hand, wasn’t fun. i haven’t seen anyone claim that the epilogues were a “fun” read, even those who enjoyed them enjoy them on the basis that “tragedy is a valid form of art,” and,,, ........and their opinions are. valid. and they can have them. sure.

but for those of us who read stories in order to enjoy them, which i am safely assuming makes up the majority of those who read homestuck, the homestuck epilogues are like a final kick in the teeth as a send off to a fandom with barely any teeth left to lose. we’re already having people who refuse to read them, and god i wish that were me, but it’s also.,, you can’t criticize something properly if you haven’t read it. we’re going to see a lot of very bad takes in the coming days about all kinds of things from information proliferating through the grapevine, and personally, i am not looking forward to it. i really hope this is the end, that homestuck is finally fucking over, and the epilogues are done with and we can all live our lives unmarred by strange orange men with typewriters. i’m going to hole up with my cool and new webcomic music albums and all of the good novel-length dirk-centric fic i’ve bookmarked over the years and wait this one out. i invite you to do the same.

cool and new webcomic bandcamp | cool and new greatest hits | my personal favorite album by them

detective pony by sonnetstuck (seriously please read this it watered my crops and cured my lead poisoning)

literally anything by callmearcturus but this is my personal favorite (chamomile, rosewater, and other unlikely intoxicants)

this long winded discworld joke by oxfordroulette that inflicted me with a terminal case of loving jake english despite it being a dirkjohn fic (vanitas vanitatum) also if you finish reading this one and also succumbed to loving jake english, i’m not going to link it but they have another fic that’ll scratch that itch for you. that’s all i’ll say on that matter.

this fic said nonverbal autistic dirk rights and thank god (we were made for another world by princex_n)

thanks for reading

#194 #will i put it in the tags? yes actually #dirk strider #that's all

[real-fakedoors]

NDHDKDKDMDNDHS S THAT LATEDT CHSPTER HAD ME SCREAMING I WAS SO STRESSE D. O U T . But I was wondering!! And I do have a few questions, I apologize 1) Do we ever get to find out what exactly happened to Lance’s family? (Spoilers? 🧐🧐🧐) 2) Were you still planning on doing a second part or is everything gonna be resolved in the epilogue (also maybe spoilers 🧐) ? 3) I love u and ur writing 4) Are you planning on writing anymore kl fics after this?

ANON ILY

im SO GLAD you liked the chapter, although I’m SORRY for stressin ya

I’m happy to provide some answers/insights as for what’s in store for this... story. store... story... i feel like there’s a pun somewhere there. ANYWAYS.

DEFINITELY SPOILERS AHEAD!

1 & 2. (because the answers are related)

There’s still a lot to develop with Lance’s family! Not only in the epilogue, but in the SEQUEL TOO! Yes, that’s me, confirming for 100% no maybe’s, but’s or if’s about it.

There’s going to be a sequel. Because there was just too much of these two boys to shove into one story,

Although I won’t reveal everything, here’s some things to look out for (rather in the epilogue or the next installment!)

- Lance’s unanswered letters. What gives, right? Well, something gives alright. Something gives.

- Veronica/Lance parallels incoming!!! ...after all, I’ve heard McClains have a type 👀

- Hira closure. (And closure with Nadia, Adela and Emely, too!) They might not “technically” be family, but they’re definitely connected to Lance enough at this point that their own stories are irrevocably intertwined. We’ll be seeing more of them, at least enough to... satisfy, I hope. :)

3. I LOVE YOU! And to express that, here’s a gift of unpublished material from me:

(some context -- while writing Lance’s ‘dream’ sequence, I was feeling a little burnt out and a friend of mine nudged me on this post, so I wrote a quick drabble from Lance’s POV)

[LANCE]

Fuck fuck oh god fuck he’s coming this way he’s really angry I’m so dead fuck he’s really hot though shiT SHIT --

A hand hit the fence beside his head, and Lance was glad his uncle was a funeral director; his Mamá could probably at least get a wonderful discount on his casket.  

“What the fuck did you say to me?”

I probably deserve this. Turning in the Macbeth assignment late, what the fuck, McClain? What the fuck were y--

Keith Kogane was about two inches away from him, breath still heavy with the scent of tobacco.  “Hey, sweater vest, are you deaf?”

“Uh -- uh, n-no.” He cleared his throat, did his best to make his gaze steely. “But you’re not supposed to smoke up here.”

There was an extended pause, a single eyebrow raising far into that awful mullet’s hairline. Who even has a mullet anymore, it’s 2019! Also, whomst the fuck allowed him to have such intense eyes?

“You’re in my stats class,” Keith said bluntly, gaze turning at least marginally less hostile. “Taylor, right?”

Oh c’mon, seriously?!

Now he was getting a little angry too, putting his hands in between the very-small distance between their chests. “My name is Lance, asshole.”

“Lance?” The guy said the name like a question, like he was trying to deem if it was worth his time. “Hmm. You’re pretty rude, judging someone you don’t know. What’s it to you if I smoke?”

“It’s not allowed on school grounds, I don’t care what you do with your lungs.”

Alarmingly, Keith’s constant state of passive-anger shifted. (because that’s exactly what this jerk’s demeanor was, a kettle two-seconds away from boiling over) Now, he wore a positively sinister smirk.

I am not emotionally stable enough for this what the fuck, fuck, fuck me -- no wait.

“Are you going to stop me?”

4. YES I HAVE SO MANY PLANNED AHHHHHH

As you likely know, I have a handful of current WIPs in the fandom:

cosmic dust never settles - A roleswap + Galtean AU, in which Lance and Allura are siblings; Lance pilots the Castle of Lions, Allura pilots the Blue Lion, and Galra-hybrid!Keef.

Not So Normal - A Stranger Things inspired fic, where Lance vanishes one night, and Keith “is going to turn the world upside down to get [him] back.” ST is not necessary to enjoy the fic -- just pulling some setting/plot elements from the show!

Unpublished ideas:

“as above, so below” (working title) - Persephone!Lance x Hades!Keith AU... also with the rest of the squad lmao because I’m weak for them. Thinking Apollo!Hunk, Zeus!Shiro and Hera!Adam (just without the crazy 15 spouses thing, ya know), Aphrodite!Allura... still working out Pidge, Lotor, Romelle and Coran atm. Still lots of thoughts percolating on this one!

“Coffee Shop [But Not Really]” (working title) - as the title says, it’s going to be set up/set in a coffee shop, but there’s going to be something untoward going on that makes it... not so obvious. I don’t want to say too much here because that’ll ruin the surprise/fun of it, and I’m still hashing out ideas on this so... I won’t say much more than that!

maybe a “daycare AU” where they’re in their 20s and Lance works with kids... I’m thinking maybe Keith gets involved because, while he’s not old enough to host foster kids, he is sort of a “big brother” figure to one or more kids in the community and they end up crossing paths that way. im just weak for lance being soft with smols and Keith being soft for Lance and... yeah

take very good care, anon

[lyricalt]

2017 fic round up + annual fic meme

It’s that time again, folks. Let’s see the damage.

THE LIST

*drabble/stuff under 1k words +wip

Boku No Hero Academia

Tell - inatodo

Destiny

hardcase* - implied andal brask/cayde-6

a code of you - original character: sol-6

Gamble* - andal brask/Cayde-6

Integrate

got a feel for you* - post-canon seep - pre-canon

Overwatch

R76

feel something*

21

Fourth Date Stuff

Prompt: cut*

punchline

GEN / MISC.

a priori - time travel, Reaper&Gabriel Reyes

gift for gift - gen - Reaper, Widowmaker, Ana Amari, Jack Morrison (mentioned)

all his cards you want to touch - Jesse McCree (Vigilante)/Jesse McCree (Riverboat)

cross your heart and hope - Destiny AU: has mcgenji, implied r76. Too lazy to link to individual pieces on ao3, so I only linked the ones only on tumblr.

Showteam+

Trigger happy

of all just fools - Destiny 2 AU

MCGENJI

not far from home vantage make you sway Prompt: rainy day* Prompt: surprise* must be love cut* devil gave me a crooked start down and doubt - (background implied r76) on your mark+ - AU where genji is a motorcycle and mccree is a mechanic. serial never had much faith (in love or miracles)* Carry case of six wake up calls: 1, 2, 3 Beach drabbles: 1, 2, 3 like you would to a point, to your knees damned if you do - incubus mccree/oni genji sun steel / soul intersect count to three triple threat+ Prompt: kiss on the back of the hand* 

Total number of completed stories: 33, excluding drabbles and some prompts. 

Total word count: AO3 stats say around 56,500. I’ll ballpark it 60,000.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

 I wrote more words and more fic this year, but a bunch of it were very short stories! Shorter than my usual, I think. I am also very in love with the Destiny AU so I think that had a lot to do with my high word count. I also wrote a lot on the side I never posted, ahaha. I think I was very distracted this year by too many fandoms/ideas. Ah well.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? 

Nah. I’m predictable. I’m still side-eyeing the genji-as-a-motorcycle AU though. I did that?

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? 

 CARRY. It was Carry. I loved writing that stupid fic. It was so dumb but I feel so vindictive and about it because I wrote it to have fun and also to express some exasperation about a couple of mcgnj tropes I felt were kinda not-my-thing. BUT!! it makes me happy that a lot of other people enjoyed it too and also @vfordii drew THIS.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? 

 I don’t feel like I took any huge risks. I am pretty comfortable with the subject matter I write (--though I think it’s more of a matter of motivation and sticking to it). I, uh, did write some bottom/sub mccree which is somehow not all that popular within the mcgenji fandom and let me tell you this was hugely a case of “if no one will write it then I will but I will complain about it for the entire time”. I wouldn’t consider it a risk though, but I did learn a bit about how to comfortably write dirty talk without needing it to be explicitly written. I don’t think it shows up a lot in my current fics but I’ve been taking note of what sounds right to me vs how much I want to write, if that makes sense.

Also for the record all my mcgnj fic is implied sexual dynamic sub/bottom mccree, like, in the case it ever happens. (I’m kidding. Or am I. I am. (Not really.) No, I’m dead serious.)

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? 

 Finish the damn fics I start, why don’t I!!!!! (This is a constant goal.)

I do want to write some fandom stories for original characters. I also want to write more explicit fic without shaming myself out of it. What are the nastywords all the hip young adults are using nowadays? I don’t know and I get conflicting reports, but by god I will try to learn.

My best story of this year 

Hardcase, which is admittedly a small drabble but I think.. it holds very well under Destiny 2, despite my frustration with how Cayde is portrayed in comparison to the Destiny 1. I’ve always had this specific opinion about Cayde and his mysterious (and not so mysterious) agendas. Dude definitely has a hero complex and this fic sorta toes into it. Plus, I like any Cayde angst related to Andal.

I feel like, out of all my fics this felt the most complete, and one that I was most satisfied with what I wanted to convey with a limited amount of words. I’m aware that I’m not… really made for longer stories, so I guess… I like to play to my strengths? And this was it.

My most popular story 

 According to AO3 hits and kudos, it was make you sway, another mcgenji fic that started with the same motivation as carry. I think.. it’s obvious… that I, uh, like writing a specific brand of Horny McCree, in that he’s not so much embarrassed by his attraction to Genji but just slightly exasperated by it (and his timing). And, haha, also Genji not being 100% on top of his libido is a nice change of pace too. I remember having fun with this!!

Story of mine most under-appreciated, in my opinion

feel something is one I’m super fond of. It’s very short, but I feel like it’s my best r76 fic in terms of the relationship I want to portray, especially post-Overwatch. I like the way I wrote it; in my opinion it was very to-the-point, and doesn’t have the happy ending they don’t quite deserve (yet) but in my mind it’s still a very positive fic without being too idealistic? Not that either way is bad, it was just something different for me, personally.

Most fun story to write

devil gave me a crooked start was a fic I pulled right outta my ass but wrote it all in one sitting after I came up with a couple of lines of dialogue; “So I’m stuck in the future,” “Would you like to know the future you?”, etc etc. It helped that Blizzard had just released McCree’s Blackwatch skin (WITH THE BLACK LEATHER CHAPS!!!!) and while I wasn’t comfortable about Blackwatch Genji having any sort of romantic relationship with Blackwatch McCree, I was sure as heck willing for Present-Day!Genji having some good nasty fun with a younger McCree.

Also I had a stupid amount of fun writing triple threat: genji/genji/genji, and I’m now just seeing a pattern that I enjoy writing characters being humorously turned on and having fun getting their rocks off, so there’s that. What a revelation.

Most Sexy Story 

God im sorry but I wrote a mcgenji week drabble about blackwatch genji and mccree beating the shit out of each other and it’s the opposite of romantic and definitely not meant to BE romantic, but fighting can be sexy without being horny, right?? RIGHT???

Story with the single sexiest moment 

to a point, to your knees.  

It takes a huge effort for McCree to sit still after that, spine tingling and heat crawling over his body. The switchblade knife in Genji’s hand spins once in a little flourish, drawing McCree’s gaze to it. 

 His attention caught, Genji places the blade at his thumb and forefinger. He slides the knife between them once to no effect, then another time. McCree can hear the grating metal against each other and then the hiss of steam, knife edge still wet with spit from when McCree had held it on his tongue. 

 “Shall we see how sharp your mouth is now?” Genji asks, running the knife through his fingers once last time.

Genji sharpening McCree’s knife with his fingers and McCree getting hot (literally, metaphorically) and bothered by it is a personal achievement. For me or McCree, that’s up for debate.

Though I have to admit I’m absolutely still pissed about not titling the fic “cut to the feeling” instead because that’s a far better name for a knife kink fic an also my third favorite carly rae jepsen song.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story 

 I don’t think anyone was surprised about even my most wildest fic. I think a friend of mine was initially disappointed that the knife kink fic was tagged for “mild blood” instead of straight up bloodplay. I’m sorry.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters

I never quite like this question because I always have a good idea of how I want to portray a character in fic since most of my fics tend to lean on the introspective side of things. down and doubt is a very McCree-centered fic that deals with Gabriel, as well as Genji in relation to Gabriel. I wanted to show a lot of things about how McCree and Genji fight together, and what each of them thinks about the whole Gabriel Reyes = Reaper thing. I didn’t hit all the points, and I unfortunately had to scrub a scene off that I definitely want to rework in another fic, but I think I had the basics… present in the fic. I guess what did surprise me was touching on Soldier: 76, though the dynamics between him and McCree is another thing I want to write about for a later fic.

Hardest story to write 

  Intersect , mostly because the later half was such a visual story I had wanted to tell in a form that wasn’t all writing. I think It would have done better as a comic but what can u do? I still very much like the first half, which I had rattling in my head for the last year and a half, really.

I was aiming to write about McCree having hang-ups about Genji, and how he views himself—a washed out mercenary with no clear goals, in comparison to Genji, who’s off in a better headspace than him but still interested in McCree anyway. And it’s not so much a reunion fic I wanted to show but a story where it’s just ok to try and reacquaint yourselves with someone who might be a new person to you. I think. I very much did not want it to be a reunion fic.

Most disappointing 

 Intersect!!!!!!!! It was so jumpy!!!! I had a lot of expectations for it!!!! I wanted it to be so much!!!! In the end I just gave up trying to make the words all fit and banged out the rest of the story and let it go. I’m still upset it didn’t come out the way I wanted it but I think it was better to just post the damn thing rather than let it rot in my drive forever. I felt better for posting it but I don’t think I can reread it anytime soon.

Easiest story to write 

 I lot of fics that fall into this category were the drabbles like Wake Up Calls. I really like writing about mundane moments and little glimpses of a developing relationship, especially for mcgenji, because my headcanon of them consists of a bunch of little moments that somehow build up into a rolling romance that sneaks up on both of them. I think it’s why I have such a hard time writing one long cohesive fic about them. There just isn’t a Big Ah-Ha Moment for them to me? I guess? I guess. I’m rambling!!

Biggest surprise 

 That I continued the mcgenji motorcycle AU, honestly. I love it to pieces and it’s fun but god do I think it’s such a chore writing the build up leading to the parts I WANT to write in the first place!!!!!

Most unintentionally telling story 

  gift for gift started out as a very Gabriel Reyes-centric story but somehow I got passionate about Widowmaker and so it’s also very much about her as well and how she functions within her lack of autonomy. I wanted to explore Gabriel’s motivations/drive to push forward without mentioning just what, exactly, he was going for, which was surprisingly very easy.

Story I’d like to revise

Intersect, not so much revising it but revisiting some of the themes and concepts, especially about McCree. I’ve talked enough about this fic. Anyway.

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear 

 Well. It’s more of a WIP at this stage but I want to write my epic 100k, 50 chaptered Guardian/Fallen romance fic for Destiny but we’ll see how that goes? Mostly I’m waiting on Bungie because I’m so dry on Bungie lore and I have no idea what the House of Dusk is up to and that’s kinda important to my story—which is, not really at all, but I would LIKE to make sure.

Anyway, that’s a wrap for my 2017 fics. Thanks for reading and all the encouragement! I hope to write more entertaining stories for 2018!! :’)

#thank you to everyone who supported me and encouraged me #and all the nice tags and comments too!!! #fic round up #fic 2017 #also this was an html nightmare pls pray for this awful post

[landofsomethingsomething]

your askbox seems crowded with johnroxycallie asks today. welllll sorry im going to add another one to the pile! i am intrigued! i used to ship johnroxy because it seemed real & cute but i moved to roxycallie when it was canon. but this is interesting?? sooo im interested but not sold. give me your best sales pitch for this new ot3 and adopt me into that good good 4 person fold?

Okay here’s why I like it.

To start you have to understand my salty relationship with Roxy’s bisexuality. I basically wrote my own god damn narrative for it in my own head because I am just so over homestuck’s completely unwillingness to give women arcs relating to their sexuality. Womens’ queerness is always something treated by the narrative as obvious and unworthy of commentary or exploration or any element of revelation/self-discovery or even an iota of reflection or struggle, which is especially FRUSTRATING when they’ve been shown struggling with the queerness of OTHERS. It’s that last part that gets me w Roxy -- I especially hate this with Roxy specifically because her relationship with Dirk was so very fucking fraught with her being bitter at him for being gay and thus unwilling to be with her. Roxy was aggressive about her attraction to Jake and Dirk and I would have really liked to see SOMETHING about like. The narrative there after she meets Callie, especially when Callie expressly tells Roxy that her species can’t experience human romance and blah blah blah blah there are so many things I would have loved to know more about re Roxy and her sexuality but this post is already going to be long so enough said about how mad I am about this specifically

The way I’ve settled on it for my own peace of mind is that Roxy went after Dirk and Jake most aggressively because she had the “save the human species” thing held up as the banner of like, the most important thing she could do to the exclusion of most else. Couple that with her being upset at Dirk for being gay and you get a workable explanation for her suppressing her own bisexuality and being so exuberantly performatively straight. 

So. Callie is the only person outside the other alpha kids that Roxy has had this lifelong close relationship/bond with. They have a conversation where they basically gal pal each other aggressively, with Callie saying her species can’t do redrom/human romance and Roxy being cagey about whether she’d reciprocate because Callie is basically telling her there’s no point to the thought exercise and who likes rejection?? but Roxy is the one who brings it up and is clearly fishing to see if Callie likes her likes her and blah blah blah people have been shipping RoxyCallie long before credits video because of all this, the ring, etc. The closeness of their relationship and the mutual “if only this could work it could be so good” narrative there like all right. 

Then, John. There’s an element to Roxy’s attraction to John that’s rooted in that instinctive thing she has going on that you can see on display in their first meeting, where she sees A Dude and immediately does her mental calculus to determine hey here is A Dude, he’s kind of cute, he’s maybe not gay and/or off-limits b/c my best friend has a huge messy crush on him. And it would be real easy to weigh the scales here and go full RoxyCallie if that were the sum and parts of their relationship, but like, here’s the thing -- it’s not. 

I just cannot let go of John and Roxy as the sole survivors of the Game Over timeline. Roxy is Callie’s beacon of optimistic hope, Roxy is the one who acts to save Callie and preserve her in the alpha timeline (with John’s help -- John gives Roxy the ring after all. I like that detail in the full scope of them being a Unit in the future.) But JOHN plays that role for Roxy. Roxy watches Rose die and is ready to sit down and throw in the towel. She tells John straight up that her only plan going forward after this is to accept her fate and bury her mom and wait for her miserable doomed timeline to end and take her with it. John is the one who convinces her there might be a better way, there might be hope. JOHN is the one who acts to preserve Roxy’s existence in the alpha timeline. I really love the parallel between Roxy bringing Callie back from the brink of oblivion and John bringing Roxy back from the same via the same mechanism that allows John to get the ring that allows Roxy to bring Callie back in the first place. That is a really tidy loop and I like it a lot.

So, Roxy in Earth C with a boy she likes and has a connection with that literally no one else can understand because no one else went through Game Over, no one else has this dissonant experiences that might not mesh 100% with the people they love, no one else has this potential imposter syndrome. I love the idea of Roxy and John bonding over that and have never really been willing to give it up. I love the idea of Roxy coming to understand that her infatuation with the idea of A Boy, Any Boy and the future she wanted so bad were products of trauma and really examining that and then realizing she fell for John legitimately, that she genuinely finds him charming

Simultaneously, Roxy in Earth C with the alien girl she’s had a crush on for like probably forever, and now she’s free of the burden she always assumed she had to repopulate the human race. Also her entire family is queer and she’s free to explore her own feelings with that context. Maybe to accept that her feelings for Jane were never purely platonic (and her feelings for Callie certainly never were) and half her frustration at Dirk was that he insisted on being “true” to himself while Roxy never felt she could be and imposed straightness on herself out of obligation to the human race. That could make a girl bitter, right? (I have so many god damn feelings about Roxy and Dirk reconciling post-canon)

And here’s Callie with her insistence that cherubs can’t experience redrom, too. Except now she’s living on Earth C with, for example, Karkat, a troll who absolutely experiences romantic feelings the same way humans do despite all his species lore stating Trolls Can’t Feel Like That. And now Callie has eternity to explore HER feelings -- and we know part of why Callie just accepted that she couldn’t experience flushed/human romance is because she didn’t think anyone would ever love her like that anyway, right? She thought she was hideous and unloveable. Well now she’s here on Earth C and there’s no way Roxy is going to go on letting her believe that. And without that holding her back from exploring the way she REALLY feels, you can see a path to Callie allowing herself to experience emotions she never thought she could. 

And all of these are positive things and wonderful things for these people to learn about themselves and about each other. 

Roxy caught between the boy she fell for on her journey and the girl she fell for long before her journey even started, just having this realization like, everyone is doing what they want here, this is our universe and our earth and our society and our rules, and she’s kind of unofficially dating them both for awhile but not committing labels-wise to either until eventually she’s just like fuck it??? Here’s how I feel, now how about you??? And I cannot imagine Callie protesting Roxy loving them both or someone else loving Roxy as much as she does, and John’s relationship with romance throughout Homestuck is so bemused and ???? and exploratory, I imagine he’s like well this is kinda weird is this like a troll thing and Roxy is like no this is just an us thing and they deal with it

John and Callie have already been spending tons of time with each other throughout and again, as I referenced in an earlier post, there’s some initial awkwardness that settles out into a balanced arrangement and Callie and John both love Roxy and care about each other very much.

Also like, until there actually is some kind of epilogue that does more with John’s current depression arc and ties in the Masterpiece with everything, I like this alternate reality where John has someone who understands him in a way really no one else can there for him when his shit starts to go south, I like the idea of there being an entire long ass subplot where John tries to isolate himself and Roxy is instrumental in not allowing that to happen, I like Callie’s cheer in the face of her own blisteringly unforgiving history and reality being an inspiration for John, I like a lot of things that canon as it stands doesn’t have a satisfying character-driven arc for at the moment.

And, you know, to cap all this off, I really just like JohnRoxyCallie as an acknowledgement that bisexual woman are not “less” for liking boys, that bisexual woman don’t “count” unless they are exclusively with women, and that bisexual people in real life who ship bisexual characters with people of opposite/other genders are not somehow betraying the queer community by doing so, while simultaneously not sacrificing a potential f/f romance for a m/f one.

The LGBT community’s relationship with bisexual women is MY pet issue, because obviously I’m a bi woman, and there’s obviously an element of that going on as well. It bothers me with the treatment of a lot of fandom/homestuck’s bisexual women (this frenzy by queer fandom to erase every relationship a bisexual woman ever had with a man as being not real or not valid for x, y, z reasons while Straight Fandom is over there doing the same thing, but opposite) but Roxy is by far the Homestuck Canon Bisexual Woman I personally care about the most so SHRUG that’s why you get a million words of my feelings

Anyway that’s why I like them

#text #asks #johnroxycallie #john egbert #roxy lalonde #calliope #Anonymous

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

#evans #submission

[bartsugsy]

Have you recovered from Thursday's episodes yet? I have mentally binned the one from Friday from my memory as best I can. I wish Sharon hadn't included the scene where Robert pulled Rebecca up off her chair, what the hell was that. Surely there was another way for her to trigger a reaction so that Chrissie could blurt out Rebecca was still pregnant ugh. Maxine is subtle in her script writing and then it feels like these other writers come along and bulldozer over everything

Hey anon!

I honestly didn’t mind Friday’s episode. Ok…

this became…. obscenely long…….

The pub reveal felt sort of clunky in a ‘suddenly everyone relevant is here at the pub to learn of this news!’ sort of way, but it’s a soap, so…. you know. It was like… CAR CRASH HORRIFYING AND AWKWARD TO WATCH AND I GET LIKE… SECOND HAND HORROR IS THAT A THING i just fuckdigndnf scream like it hits A LOT OF MY WEIRD SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT BUTTONS AND I CANT i’m literally rewatching now and cringing at robert and aaron having to both suddenly deal with this realisation in full view of a packed pub i’m !!!!!!!!!!

It feels like the point was to sort of… make Robert extra terrible to Rebecca (not hard, he’s usually pretty terrible to her these days lmao) and have Aaron find out about the baby all at once, so that it hits him like a slap in the face, that this isn’t going to be as easy as he thought it was when it was just him and Robert alone in a room together. It’s so often been so much easier for the two of them, when it’s just them in a room. 

The one thing that I wasn’t a fan of was Victoria’s non-reaction. Because. Really? idk why are these reveals never as juicy as I want them to be smh. Also I still don’t get Chrissie being so gung ho about the baby given it’s Robert’s and given her relationship with Rebecca and so I’m assuming it must be for a specific plotty reason (bc the state of the white sisters’ relationship is always reliant on what the plot needs) and I’m really wondering what that is??? i’m 100% suspicious. 

lawrence on the other hand was 110% #relateable

ALSO aaron’s reaction to finding out about the baby was as relateable as chas’ reaction to finding out about the Incident - i.e. i felt my soul laid bare on screen that day

Ryan and Danny were both amazing and that bathroom scene was a work of art and I will cherish it til I die like THEIR PERFORMANCES IN THAT SCENE??????? LITERALLY STUNNING?????????????????? OH MY GOD?????????????? WHEN YOU THINK RYAN AND DANNY CAN’T DO ANY BETTER THAN THURSDAY AND THEN THEY DO THAT??????? bye. also i’m literally both of them. it’s like me talking to myself about this storyline. we are all one.

anyway that scene was perfect and NEEDED for this episode and so i really can’t trash it all that much because damn

The Aaron and Rebecca scene is…. the funniest most absurd thing I’ve ever laid my own two eyes upon………. she just…. how…. does anyone think she has a leg to stand on?????

Ok. Here’s my thing. It is 1000% Rebecca’s right to have this baby if she wants. That’s fine. She’s gotta do what’s right for her. However, awful as Robert treats her and much as she now rightfully seems to hate him, she has to understand that this decision to have this baby affects Aaron’s life as well. She shouldn’t let her choice be influenced by that at all but, given that this is someone she professes to “like”, she… she slept with his husband and she’s having his baby. She took an active part in helping to destroy his marraige. Unintended consequence or not, that’s still the absolute reality of what happened and as much as, again, I don’t think she should change her mind or her stance on anything Robert related, I still think she should at least be able to recognise her part in Aaron’s pain? I just…. you would think she would be even slightly sympathetic to that? But that last scene sort of came off as her trying to make him see the light - “look how similar we are, we’re in the same boat, it’s us against him”. The show literally couldn’t make it clearer that Aaron and Rebecca don’t have the same relationships with Robert if they had Rob make a flipping shrine to Aaron in his basement next to a burning effegy of Rebecca at this point (….just look at this entire episode), but Rebecca thinks it’s the same thing. And yes, she seems to think she’s doing right by Aaron but.. idk, how fucking patronising can you be? How unsympathetic can you be? 

Again - I really do think the point was to really have Aaron question whether he can really forgive Robert and put that seed of doubt in his mind but

sigh

Rebecca.

Also idk if it’s because we know what Aaron’s agression looks like and it wasn’t that heartbroken yell at Rebecca, and Rebecca does not know what it looks like, but her cowering and making him feel bad about yelling at her…. like….

she slept with his husband??????????????????????????????????????

I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TREAT THIS AS A SHITTY THING TO DO BC IF MY MATE DID THAT TO ME I WOULD SURE AS HELL SHOUT AT THEM, PREGNANT OR NOT WHAT THE FUCK but as im a lesbian i doubt they’d be pregnant tbh but still WHY CAN’T HE YELL AT HER? SHE STILL ULTIMATELY CHOSE HER FEELINGS FOR ROBERT OVER WHATEVER VERY MINIMAL REGARD SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD FOR AARON’S (AARON HER FRIEND AARON WHO SHE LIKES) MARRIAGE and it’s….. it’s really annoying 

and rebecca acting like that shout is…. robert’s fault….. when….. even if aaron was acting agressive…. aaron’s agression issues go back far far before robert even came into the picture….. and robert isn’t responsible for the way aaron reacts to things much in the way aaron isn’t responsible for robert’s reactions we literally just had a massive double bill discussing these exact faults. like, it just hammers home how much she really doesn’t know him. 

and like. robert and rebecca were both there. they were both responsible and they both had relationships with aaron. robert has more to apologise for but that doesn’t mean rebecca should be treated like an innocent god damn petal (regardless of whether she genuinely belived rob and aaron had broken up four hours before they did it or whatever… i mean…….. honestly…………)

and potentially all just a way to make sure aaron doesn’t shout at her again? or just to foreshadow whatever the fuck is happening next week. who knows. 

Anyway.

What I’m saying is, I think the whole point of this episode was to show that Aaron and Robert’s problems aren’t magically fixed because they spent a day finally talking about their problems. Growing and changing has never been that easy - they’ve taken the first step and admitted to it, recognised their issues but… I think this is just a signal that they still have a lot of work to do and they aren’t going to be in a good place for a while. They’re both going to be trying to work through it for some time. Which is good. 

Like. That whole first scene, with them being cheerful but kind of awkward and stilted was just them trying to move past things a little - but this episode was a big neon sign that it’s never gonna be that easy. Long standing problems like theirs don’t just disappear.

ALSO ALSO final note on Maxine (and Sharon I guess, who wrote this ep - and I really wasn’t a massive fan of the writing because it did feel like a mess and it took me a few watches to sort of understand what was happening, but whatever) - because I just… I don’t think every episode that Maxine doesn’t write is doomed to be bad lmao. And I don’t think Friday trampled over them either. 

Personally, the reason I love Maxine like she was my own daughter is because she is the exact opposite of subtle. She doesn’t do subtle at all, she spells out everything in black and white and you don’t have to work for it - which I appreciate a lot, to be honest, because who wants to work this hard for a soap???? LOOK AT HOW LONG THIS POST IS???? WHY??? lmaoooo, maybe that’s just me. idk, i just appreciate her blunt approach to writing dialogue and her big love of parallels and callbacks bc it satisfies my inner theorist. plenty of other writers have their strengths when they write robron and plenty of other writers have written beautiful stuff for them, but i like that they give maxine the big stuff if only because i know that she’s gonna try and cram as much shit into there as possible lmaooooo. she makes the most of it.

and by that i mean…. i’m never really left thinking “am i reading too much into this or is this just an accident of the writing that i’m picking up on?” with maxine, like i do for a lot of other writers. like friday’s episode - am i meant to see the rebecca/aaron conversation as firm proof that rebecca doesn’t know aaron but has made a lot of judgements on him and assumes he has as little agency as she does when it comes to robert, based on her terrible terrible relationship with and treatment by robert? or is that just something that i can see from the episode, knowing the characters like i do, that was never intended to be there and won’t be a plot point. with rebecca, especially, it’s hard to know what we should be purposefully pick up on and what is just bad and sloppy writing by literally every single person involved. 

I just never feel like I have to write mountains of essays about character motivation and storytelling when Maxine is at the helm of an episode. 

i do think she’s one of the most consistent at writing them (though idk whether that’s because she gets the good episodes or it’s just her clear love for them as a couple that leads her to being extra careful with them, it might be very chicken and egg haha) and she handles episodes that could fall apart in some writers hands very very well (my main example for that is always the lachlan trial episode, which i just think should have been an utter trainwreck but ended up being one of my favourites. it’s just incredible to me that she made it work that well, during a time when robert is actively lying and the show itself was SO BAD ON ALL COUNTS???? her ep was like the turning point into ‘not horribleness’ again and i don’t know how she did it. the entire plot was ABSURD. she just made it work.)

(plus it seems like she writes loads of casual affection into episodes and that makes me happy)

idk. I guess I’m saying that there’s a reason I genuinely look forward to Maxine’s episodes, but also… all is not lost and i don’t think she’s the only one who is gonna save us here. we’ve got other people who will help us along the way lmao. 

(i’m getting serious de ja vu with this whole sentiment did i write this back in november as well or is that my brain playing tricks on me?)

#I’m keeping my gob shut about the way things led to Chrissie blurting out about the baby bc i’m not sure it’s that out of character going by #past events #anyways #ed #emmerdale meta #sigh when will i shut up hmmmm #robron #anti rebecca white #i guess? #answering anons

[sometimesrosy]

Hey Rosy! I know you said you'd be collecting some of the Tiffany spoilers and like you, I don't want to be spoiled but I don't mind being spoiled if I like the spoilers lol. Is there anyway we can access what you've collected? Also, a nonny noted that Tiffany squashed Becho/Braven rumors, what did she say do you know? ps- im so ready for Wed. not only bc I'm dying to see canon Bellarke, but also bc I'm so done w/all this anxiety. sometimes i cant believe im this anxious over a tv couple

Honestly I’ve been getting a few here and there and I never know where to put them so let me do another under the cut thing. I don’t have the receipts so if someone says she said something, I’m not going to be able to tell you what she said. I closed twitter and I’m not looking at it again until after the show.

Anonymous said:Man oh man… Tiffany (SORTA? SPOILER) just reblogged some photos where a fan wrote what she thinks about the bellarke separation… it basically says that bellarke will be confirmed in some way and they will probably be seperated… rosy omgggg

tiffany likes speculation that bellarke will be confirmed and then separated. that’s what I’ve been thinking the whole time. they’ve just been dragging out the confirmation for the whole season. which, ahem, is making me disgruntled.

Anonymous said:*****potential S5 spoiler***** Tiffany just said this “Question fans should be asking is: what about ALIE? She is going to play a big part in S5. Life on Ark will not be peaceful with her around.” OKGGMGMFKOAOAUABEKDP

Okay. Well ALIE in space. I have totally been saying that I thought ALIE was still on the Ark, where she went to hide from Raven and Murphy trying to destroy her from two different directions. I’ve wanted to see more from ALIE and Becca, and I think they are both out there and I think that’s still to come into play, although it seems to me now that it’s a loose thread for season 5.

Do NOT know how that’s going to affect them up there, but it was clear from the start that it would be risky, dangerous and uncomfortable. total subsistence level existence. they’re lucky they have Raven AND Monty, they’re going to need them. 

Anonymous said:You can totally post this ask under a cut since it deals with spoilers for the finale, but how did Tiffany dispel Becho rumors? I’ve steered clear of as many rumors as I could but Becho is my one worry. Did she give anything concrete? Because I know she’s said Bellarke positive things in the past but a lot of it has come from her own feelings and not what actually happens in the show.

Again, I have no receipts, but i did see someone blogged her tweet telling people to wait for the end of the episode and that would put the nail in the coffin of Becho. On a related note, I saw her say that Braven baby speculation was just getting ridiculous and out there. And that Praimfaya was a very bellarke centered episode. Or some such. Dont’ take me as an authority. I’m not reblogging those because I said I would do that stuff under the cut. 

Anonymous said:Dear Rosy, Alert! More spoilers are leaking with more information for the finale than had been released over the last few days. All I can say is Bellarke has never been more endgame than this. It’s the 100 - with all the craziness that entails - but Bellarke is a Jane & Rochester /The Notebook/North & South/Tristan & Isolde/Odysseus & Penelope kind of love. Star-crossed and fated and meant to be like Romeo & Juliet (without the daggers and poison). We’re going to be so, so, so happy with S5.

This one isn’t technically tiffany, but I think it’s in relation to all the screeners, so I’m going to put it here.

Anonymous said:they ask if theres more than a hug and she says 🤐when the last time they asked her about a kiss she said no there is no kiss or confession so it is clear we getting canon also she said theres much information lobbed about bellarke away for 5 years or separated and that our jaws are gonna drop with the twist also our bellarkes who have seen the spoilers of act 6 are not worried at all, i think the hug scene is where we are getting canon, bcs that werent leaked before and isnt it now

speculation based on vaguely positive or not negative or no comment kinds of comments.

Anonymous said:Mainly peoples problem with Tiffany is that she usually gets bellarkers hopes up, only for us to usually be let down. She’ll say she loves bellarke so much in an episode and then we get 2 seconds of them standing next to each other… so thats basically it as far as I know

True. She’s pro Bellarke, but her idea of pro bellarke isn’t the same as the shippers’ pro bellarke. I think that might be where we get some of the disappointment. But Selina kind of reinforces Tiffany’s optimism this time. So that’s hopeful. 

I think Tiffany just wants to calm all the people’s doom and gloom anxiety predictions, so i get it. She’s positive because Bellarke has never been killed. Even in those moments which are not bellarke or are obstacles, she sees forward movement… which I actually agree with. 

But like I said, that’s not the kind of bellarke development the shippers want to see. They want canon, no detours, no obstacles. So there’s a disconnect with what Tiffany and the audience each will be satisfied with. This is the struggle of being a non-shipper who is in love with a ship because it’s just that great. I feel the conflict, myself. No matter what happens in praimfaya, I have no doubt that Bellarke is endgame. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t getting screwed in the mean time. And they are screwing with us.

#the 100 #praimfaya #screeners #tiffany #selina #spoilers

[captain-fanattic]

All questions from the meme with Kotac

real talk i cant remember which meme this is from bc this ask is like months old but i remember it was one with 50 questions so im finding the first one i can in my tag and just answering those

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

kotac is his full name i never bothered to give him a last name. idk it just sounded cool

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

FARMER idk nothing special. he works. on a farm

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

YEAH his parents are real good to him and he’s very close with them and his family. his fave memories are doing stuff together as a family just out and around like going berry picking. idk about bad memories maybe one time he was attacked by an angry farm animal as a kid but that’s all i can think of

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

VERY GOOD he still has both parents and no real bad memories.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

i mean honestly probably but i havent created them so no

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he graduated high school and then kind of just stopped doing school. he enjoyed science but hated math and english

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

yeah! he’s good at making friends and he keeps in contact with a few.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

yes and yes bc he works on a farm and has animals on said farm

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

YES totally 100% animals love him it’s almost weird how much animals like him

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

he is okay with children but he wont actively seek them out or anything. he’d probably be a good parent but he’s not interested in kids rn. would have to adopt anyways

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

he eats vegetables a lot bc he’s part rabbit but he also eats a lot of meat bc of being part cat as well. he’s not really allergic to anything and loves to cook

12. What is their favourite food?

apple pie

13. What is their least favourite food?

idk he’s not picky so it’s kind of hard to find something he actually hates

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

he doesn’t eat out at restaurants very often but he does have a few memories of going out for special occasions with his family

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

YES YES he’s very good at it and loves it. others love it too

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

probably collects weird things like antique spoons

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

he’s not a really techy person but im sure he takes cute pictures of his animals sometimes

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes to read big novels it doesn’t really matter the genre he probably reads a lot of books about animals too. he loves country music and doesn’t watch T.V. very often; same w/ movies. doesn’t really play video games either.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

*shrugs*

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

yeah he likes musicals and music in general. he probably sings along to his favorite songs.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he is very paitent and rarely ever loses his temper.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

he probably has some extreme weird insults, i imagine he uses a lot of metaphors and whatever, immmmmmmm listening to music and it’s distracting me but i dont feel like pausing it and i cant think of the right word for it. idioms?? maybe. anyways he’ll tell someone to their face if he has a problem with them but he rarely ever does that since he is very tolerable.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

he’s good with memory for things about his farm and he’s good at remember faces but he’s not so good when it comes to names.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he goes to be late and gets up really early but for some reason it doesn’t bother him. he sleeps on his bed and its some weird mix of hard and soft. it’s not awful but most might find it uncomfortable.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

he’s got a good sense of humor and will joke around a lot with his farmhands. not sure what exactly his sense of humor qualifies as

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

he likes to hum and occasionally sing. he gets very smiley when he’s happy and excited

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

probably losing animals on his farm. like a fox gets one of his chickens or something and he’s probably heartbroken but also that fox is like his #1 enemy now so he’s angry at the same time. i guess THATS one way to make him mad. probably will cry openly but not often.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

he is afraid of losing people and animals he loves but that’s probably normal. he doesn’t really have any other fears. not even bugs or anything. he’ll straight up pick up a spider and go run around in the dark and everything. he’s hard to scare.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

he’s probably protective

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

yeah often, but it’s not like a gym work out. it’s working on the farm for hours and hours on end. keeps u in shape when u gotta take care of a million things in one day, every day

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

ya he will drink and he’s probably a very giggly and open drunk like he’ll talk more and get more cuddly. he’s very grumbly and sleepy when he’s hungover. he will absolutely take care of people who are hungover though.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

very country. jeans and ripped clothes and overalls and white t-shirts and all that jazz. probably just wears boxers to bed. he is all hair he is a furry. his the  white hair on his head is pretty unruly most of the time.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxers

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

muscular, strong, kind of a big build. he’s probably like idk 5′10″ or something. he likes his body but at the same time he does not really care at all

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

idk im bad at answering this type of question

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

good at idk growing food. cooking? cooking for hobbies too. maybe he doodles some in whatever spare time he has but he’s not really an artist or anything, like not even close. can sing.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

yeah he like to read. he’s like medium. enjoy poetry and probably reads fictional stories a lot but thinks non-fiction is also very good

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

work ethic and sense of humor. he also likes it when people are happy. um idk he’s pretty satisfied with what he can do already

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

letters > anything techy

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

drinks coffee a lot in the morning but always seems to be awake and alert no matter what. some people think it’s strange but he’s totally fine with it. being awake and alert always means farm work is done well

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

gay. doesn’t really have a preference. likes people that like animals idk he’s not picky and i don’t know how to answer this question

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

to have a good farm / would sacrifice for farm / wants farm to be popular with local people

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

mildly yeah

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

loves summer and spring! loves bright hot days and days with cool breezes, also loves light rain. dislikes snow bc…….farm

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

everyone generally loves him and he loves himself so yeah

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

probably but sometimes people catch him after he’s been working all day and he’s all dirty and tired and everything and thats probably not a very good first impression

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

doesn’t go to formal events often, doesn’t like the formal clothes, avoids it as much as he can

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

no not really. likes family events but not like crazy random parties. would probably just drink a lot if he got dragged to one

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

idk does his horse count? he loves his horse

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

um i never know how to answer questions like this

#jay-noeyes #kotac #long post #speakin #SORRY THIS IS FRICKIN. LONG

[paene-umbra]

For the botanical ask: ALL OF THEM. Bc your answers are always so well thought out and amazing.

That is such a nice thing for you to say! I'm sorry it has taken me forever to answer this, I know you asked this about a month ago. I have been crazy busy and working on this for a while but I never had the time to post it. This is a really long post, so please bear with me. So sorry,baby’s breath (5 things you associate yourself with): snoballs, comfy socks, smiles, humming, and cuddles!bleeding heart (what makes you heart go mushy)?: honestly the thing that melts my heart is super small but okay here we go. what melts my heart is when me and my boyfriend are sitting in his room doing separate things and he randomly gets up and lays on me and rests his head on my chest for a couple minutes and then goes back to doing his work because he wants physical contact. also it melts my heart when he makes me pinky promise to do or not do something or to promise that I’m being truthful. it is so cute.bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?: Maps // The Front Bottoms. it is just such a fun and goofy song.evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?: my sleeping playlist is actually the Piano Sleep Playlist from Spotify. i don’t really check the song titles.forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?: my favorite blog who isn’t following me is definitely glumshoe! I love their wide-ranging content!daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?: I want a WHOLE lilac bush! I am really bad at keeping plants alive (I accidentally killed so many cacti during KAMS). my roommate and I have four plants currently. two cacti and two succulents. we have them named, and they’re all silly names because we wanted to be as WHITE MOM as possible. they’re names are Ghurt, Ellha, Wrandall, and Hadley. I think it is hilarious for them to have names like that until I have to tell other people what they are named, and then it is kinda embarrassing.calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening? I think I prefer rainy evenings. sunny days are usually wildly hot and I really hate being hot and sweaty. rainy evenings are nice because they can be any temperature and I will still probably be comfy. I don’t like actually being in the rain because I think it feels gross to be only partially wet. I’m an “all or none” type of person when in comes to getting water on my body.foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?: I really like purple a lot, which is convenient because that it what color my sorority uses. the best shade in purple is a tie between lavender and lilac.lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?: I guess I have always wanted to be given jewelry or something to wear from a significant other. Ideally it would be some necklace with their name on it or something that reminds them of me/me of them. Maybe I will get it somedaylove in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember? the latest dream that I remember was from a while ago but it was about the horror movie IT FOLLOWS which is about a sexually transmitted demon that slowly follows you and is trying to kill you. It can’t run or do anything fast, but it is super persistent and patient and all it does is follow you to get close enough to kill you. anyway it really freaked me out and now I dream about it and always check over my shoulder to make sure that it isn’t there behind me even though I know it isn’t real.daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice? I don’t have a favorite flavor of cotton candy because I think they all taste the same, but I prefer to have the blue or the purple cotton candy because I think it is prettier than any of the other colors. the best ice cream flavor is definitely cookies & cream. the best juice flavor is white grape juice!!painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist? I am more of a singer/painter. I love singing AND painting a lot.tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc? my most favorite makeup product is my eyeliner. I like my eyeliner to be black and sharp as hell. a second close favorite is my wunderbrow, which is a long-lasting brow cream. it is really nice. I like my brows to be pretty dark but not black.waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person? dang this is a hard question set. I really like bees because they’re so cute and bumble-y and fuzzy and so so so good for the environment. I even have a whole tattoo planned out for when I have money saved up that is centered around the seven bee families. I am 100% a cat person. cats all the way. fuzzy sweet babies that need as much love and attention as I do. (love for fuzzy things seems to be a theme with me I guess) sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why? yeah I do have a sweet tooth. the convenient thing about that is that my sweet tooth only lasts a couple minutes at a time so I don’t have to eat an excessive amount of sweets to satisfy it. my favorite sweet is probably a snoball, since it is the thing that I consume the most regularly that has the sweetest taste and most calories. for those of you who don’t know, a snoball is a basically an ICEE but so much better.sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?: oh heck….mermaid would be fun because I love swimming so much but also there are so many scary things in the deep water…so I would have to pick a fairy because that would probably give me the best of both words minus the scary monsters. at least in the air, I know I only have to hide from the hawks and eagles and shit.sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?: honey/love/sweetheart. he gets nervous about pet names though, so we usually just stick to “babe/baby”sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?: I sure can swim! I can do all the strokes pretty well. except butterfly. I’m kinda terrible at the butterfly.windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them: oh boy I don’t know. reverseracism, keybladeofsteel, bassiter, gendrie, and subtle. I just like 'em, and I think I reblog most of my stuff from them. i like to have content that is more than just memes, and they contribute a lot to that.golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook? cook. I cannot bake to save my life, unfortunately. especially not pastries. I am a pretty decent cook when it comes to microwaves and stovetops and stuff, though. bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?: that their bodies belong to them and they never have to let anyone touch them if they don’t want to be touched. bodily autonomy is something I wish I could’ve known I was allowed to have. I was always taught that I have to let people hug and touch me even if I don’t want it because if I tell them not to touch me then it might get awkward, and apparently avoiding awkwardness is more important than my own comfort.peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you? that I was pretty. I know it isn’t something that matters in the grand scheme of things, but they told my sisters that they were beautiful and I never got to hear it.prairie gentian: do you have a significant other? yes : ) we have been dating for about 8 months. and I love him.september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?: sunset! sunsets are so beautiful and I prefer the nighttime to the day anyway. im more active and awake later in the day.bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?: unfortunately I wake up at 7:30am every day for work. I hate it so much, I am so fricken tired. I go to sleep at probably between 1am and 3am when I sleep in my dorm with my roommate but when I sleep over at my boyfriend’s house I go to sleep before midnight because he gets sleepy and I don’t want to keep him up. it is really helpful for making me feel more rested so I really like it.marigold: what’s your favorite tea?: I don’t really drink tea on its own, but I really like the Mango Black Tea Lemonade from starbucks. I got that all the time when they had it during the summer. its pretty tasty.peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?: I have two cats named Josie and Jewels and a crowntail betta named Mahoney. me and my roommate share another crowntail betta named Nemo (because his tail fin is fucked up. I think it was almost completely ripped off or he chewed it off out of stress, but we aren’t sure. we had to rescue him from Walmart because he was floating on the bottom of his dinky little cup and he barely had any energy. thankfully, he started eating almost immediately when we brought him home and he’s swimming around a lot better.). my roommate has her own betta named Bartholomew, and we are also trying to adopt a fourth betta, as well. so we will have Bart, Mahoney, Nemo, and whatever the fourth fish is named. we are trying to adopt the fourth betta from a woman who doesn’t treat the betta very well and wants to get rid of it anyway.hyacinth: do you name your plants?: yup. the older cactus is Ghurt, the younger is Ellha. The older succulent is Hadley and the younger one is Wrandall. lmao. me and my roommate intentionally picked goofy names for them because it makes us laugh and happy.lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?: hang out with my friends, definitely. my friends are great and I love spending time with them. unless I am getting to be cozy with my boyfriend, in which case I would pick him alwayspoppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?: DIP DIP DIP ALWAYS DIP. French fries are so dry on their own. I will dip them in literally anything; ranch dressing, ketchup, mayonnaise, garlic butter, barbeque sauce, etc... my favorite is probably ranch dressing at the moment. it alternates depending on how many times I’ve eaten fries during a specific period of time.dandelion: any special talent that you have?: uhhhhhh no probably not. I don’t really have anything that I am talented at.

[millionsofbooks]

Thoughts on GoT 0701

Guess who's too lazy to get her laptop so can't put this under a read more and who's gonna make a long-ass post that nobody asked for anyway? This girl. (Also warning for spoilers for the new got episode) K so this time I thought I'd split my thoughts up by storyline that works I think ok here we go Arya: - yessssss my sweet child kill them all God that was so satisfying - ED SHEERAN - um excuse me arya why are you going south your family is north - also don't kill Ed Sheeran he's a good guy - ok I now ship arya and ed sheeran I wasn't expecting that and yet here we are - I mean let's face it gendry's never coming back Winterfell: - guess who's STILL PISSED THAT JON IS RULING INSTEAD OF SANSA - um all offence but littlefinger can fuck off and die - I would just like to say that Jon is a True Feminist™ - hhhhhh Jon, babe, darling, sweetie, I agree with your decision but NOT HOUW YOURE GOING ABOUT IT WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FOOL - like, look, this definitely seems like more of a 'Jon is here as king of the north and giving out orders' type meeting rather than a 'let's have a discussion about what to do next' type meeting - and I don't know how many of these decisions he discussed beforehand with which people but he clearly didn't discuss the forgiveness one with Sansa beforehand WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING STUPID - 1. Sansa has more right to rule than Jon (I'm still so mad that this was never even brought up at any point) so even if Jon is ruling Sansa should still have a great deal of influence. 2. Are we forgetting that Sansa was raped and tortured by Ramsay not even that long ago and so just might be disinclined to offer forgiveness to the people who helped him do so (yes I know it wasn't them it was their families and like I said I agree with Jon's decision but I can definitely understand Sansa view on this and Jon should definitely have been able to foresee her opposition to the idea) - what this means is that now the only way for her to bring up her opposition to this idea is to publicly disagree with him; the only other way would be to bring it up afterwards and if she managed to change his mind he'd then have to reverse his decision, making him look weak - and like??? Obviously it's not good for them to publicly disagree and Sansa has got to know this with the amount of time she's spent around people like Cersei, Margaery, Littlefinger, Olenna, etc. but it's the only way for her to bring up her quite reasonable disagreement and even apart from political concerns it would be the decent thing to do to at least warn her beforehand that she's going to have to act friendly and forgiving with the family of the people who helped/endorsed Ramsay rape and torture her. - to be fair to Jon I think this is more the show doing the classic 'we'll show the rape and torture of women for shock value and then never mention the effects that would have on them later' than his actual character BUT GODDAMNIT IM PISSED JUSTICEFORSANSA2k17 (that doesn't involve some bullshit manufactured excuse for her to actively oppose and harm Jon which is clearly what they're going for and I will not stand for it) - on that note can we please see Sansa dealing with the mental repercussions of what she's been through? Like, look, if you want to show these horrible things - fine. I don't like it, but fine. But at least show the recovery/the effects of said horrible things. Don't just act like it never happened. Either give Sansa a confidante (probs Brianne) and show them trying to work through these problems together or show the effects of not talking to anyone about what she's gone through just ACKNOWLEDGE THE LONG-TERM IMPACTS OF WHAT RAMSAY (and Joffrey and Cercei and Littlefinger and Lysa and SO MANY PEOPLE) DID TO HER GODDAMNIT - sort of jumping off that but seriously Jon do you not think that Sansa might have a perfectly good reason for being a tad more concerned with the enemies that she has met, that have personally cause her a great deal of harm (not that this piece of garbage show would ever acknowledge that harm), that she knows than some nebulous, uncertain, vague threat that she's only ever heard of in stories. I mean, which do you think is going to seem more pressing and real to her. Not to mention that she's actually right - sure, it would be great if everyone could band together to fight the White Walkers. If there was a chance of Cersei agreeing to this I'd 100% agree that difficult as it may be the right thing to do would be to put revenge behind them and focus on the real threat. Unfortunately, there's no fucking way Cersei would agree to it meaning that you are going to have to fight her whether you like it or not. Not to mention, you're going to have a difficult time defending the North from any enemy with only Northern armies and Northern supply chains - I'd start making allies quick. I mean, yeah, they're going to ally with Dany but they don't know that yet so my point still stands. - much satisfaction with the murder of Littlefinger I mean destroyed King's Landing: - honestly I relate with Jaime so much. Cersei please stop - this alliance is a terrible idea although I appreciate euron's sense of humour he is hilarious and so are Jamie's reactions - I am??? So worried??? About this gift???? What is he going to do someone please stop this man Bran: - REUNION REUNION REUNION REUNION Sandor: - these philosophical discussions should be a Goddamned podcast - OH SHIT it's the family!!! Ahhh look at that character development I am Happy™ - I really need to know what's up with the Lord of Light. I mean, idk if it's just me but I don't accept the idea that there is an actual God directly responsible for events in any kind of fiction (which is weird cause I do in real life but...idk I'm more cynical with fiction) - magical, powerful beings that may as well be gods? Sure. But God? No. So, like, this might sound crazy but my theory is that the Lord of Light has something to do with the Night King. Idk it's just a hunch. Sam: - clearly the maesters are fans of karate kid - also where is the 'they're taking the hobbits to isengard' video of this montage - mr archmaester there are so many things wrong with your argument idek where to start - Sam have you not watched Philosopher's Stone THERE ARE BLOODY TERRIFYING SCREAMING BOOKS IN THE RESTRICTED SECTION - oh thank God he made it out ok I would honestly have been less scared if he was trying to sneak past a den of White Walkers I have a deep-seated fear of authority - yay, there's the excuse for our heroes to meet. Thanks plot I mean Sam Dany: - EXCUSE ME BUT WHERE ARE ASHA (I refuse to call her yara) AND THEON - so the doors are just...unlocked? And...the entire castle is...completely empty. No one's there. At all. ...ok then - well that was an entirely pointless scene that did nothing for the narrative Overall: -well that was an entirely pointless episode that did nothing for the narrative - joking, but also serious. It mainly felt like a really long trailer? I mean other than the first scene with Arya and I guess Jon and Sansa arguing it was all...pointless. This was an entire episode of set-up which I'm really annoyed about because my dad can't watch this episode till Monday and I was really looking forward to holding spoilers over his head

#got #game of thrones #I hate this show so much #and yet I can't stop watching #sigh #oh well at least the defenders comes out tomorrow #I still can't bring myself to finish iron fist #oh well #I'm sure I'll pick it up

[todokori-kun]

No. NO. 

DON’T FEEL DEPRESSED. YOU’RE A QUEEN, OK, YOU’RE AWESOME. tbh the real problem here is probably me, I’m such an anxious loser XD

Awww I’m gonna miss you ;-; but enjoy your trip, that sounds so fun! Is it ok if I ask where you’re going? :D

(also new icon omg it’s so pretty)

You’re welcome! AND YES I relate to the 6 pics thing so much. I can never get to 8 pictures. (Currently trying to make an Illumi aesthetic and dying inside because…um…what is Illumi’s aesthetic again? Lots of needles, mind control, yandere-ness…dead fish eyeballs…nice hair…and…uh…)

They’re beautiful eyes. Endless swirling pools of silent screams and blank despair.

“Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit~”

(tbh if I ever met Illumi those would be my first and last words to him lol)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ILLUMI WOULD DO

HE’D STAB A MIND-CONTROL NEEDLE IN ARMIN’S HEAD

SO EVERY TIME ARMIN LOOKS AT THE WALLS ALL HE CAN THINK IS

“wow must be dangerous out there I better stay put right here in this exact spot so I don’t get eaten. ocean? what ocean? I’m perfectly happy with my current life”

But he would eventually get dragged along to the military because Illumi would have to join the MP to do his murdery assassin work and he absolutely refuses to leave Armin behind (also y'know, the titans will never get near Armin when they’re in the MP so win-win…for Illumi)

(I’ll find some good ones and send them in a seperate submission :D along with a few more HxH characters, if that’s ok?)

(Yeah. But tbh Angelica is too fab for TJeffs)

It’s amazing. Just…I feel a strange urge to draw Jefferson’s face at that moment

She’s the purest cinnamon roll in Helpless! But for people who have a harder time getting into Hamilton, That Would Be Enough is probaby where they get to see more of her actual personality…maybe? That’s what I meant ^^;;

I KNOW. Like, I think it’s impossible to be a female member of the Schuyler family and not be a total queen.

Everyone must bow before Angelica’s rapping skills

And every day, while slaves were slaughtered and carted

Away across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up

Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of

The brother was willing to beg, steal, borrow, or barter

Can’t wait to see it :D

Yay I guessed right! As for how I knew…a fandom troll never reveals their secrets (jk, jk, I actually used to hang around on the edges of the Fairy Tail fandom for a while and I know a few tiny things. Like, if there’s a popular fandom on tumblr, I probably know a few basic facts about it even if I have no intention to ever watch/read/listen to it ^^;;)

*insert infinite Schwings here*

Yep.

Like I said though, he is DEFINITELY not dead. Character reasons and Ishida reasons (because tbh I hate to say this but TG’s writing style has gotten a bit predictable lately). Probably gonna cut his way out of there…or maybe he’ll frame out all the way

Oh no, that sounds frustrating ;-; *hugs* I’m sure it’ll still turn out amazing though! <3 Luna is the queen after all :D

Gon is the purest child. He’s right up there with Eliza and Armin.

(so it’s confusing how his dad, Ging, is such a trashcan.

Cousin: Ging, I don’t think you should do it

Ging: Imma go and become a hunter anyway

*promptly disappears for a few years and then suddenly returns with a tiny baby*

Ging: so yeah this is my son, his mom left, could you take care of him for, like, the next 12 to 13 years while I go and do mysterious hunter stuff and let him think I died in a car crash, leaving behind only a tiny locked box containing a recording of my voice, a weird ring and a game as a clue for him about who I am

Seriously, I found a pic on google that’s like

*Ging stares tenderly at his baby boy’s face*

Ging: “You’re gonna be Gon.

And I’m gonna be gone”)

Leorio is my absolute fav. I love him so much. (and yes he is very extra)

‘Sweet Sunshine Child’ might not be 100% correct but Killua is still cute. I think everyone in the fandom wants to adopt him and Gon lol (and Queen Luna would certainly be a much, MUCH better mom than Kikyo Zoldyck)

yeah, a lot of people mistake Pika for a girl, and a lot of people headcanon him as nonbinary too :) Yes, TRAGEDY. I think the main problem with Kurapika is that he isn’t able to let go of the anger inside him or express it in a healthy way, so his hatred for Chrollo and the rest of the Phantom Troupe is just destroying him.

Chrollo is also my problematic fav XD he does look really nice with his hair down. (And he is SUCH a Magnificent Bastard. I’ll send you another surprise pic of him soon)

I’ll give you updates on her reactions to major events :D

…I think you won’t be surprised to hear that my eyes stayed completely dry throughout the entire episode *troll face*

As for YoI…you’ll probably be seeing my reaction to that in the other submission :)

(but also I actually went back and read some of our older messages on there a while back and they’re hilarious.

Like, I’m really awkward in the older convos so it’s sorta cringe-y, but still. I sorta laughed when I read the convos where you weren’t quite into Hamilton yet and you were telling me that you didn’t really listen to musicals that much (LITTLE DID YOU KNOW I WOUD DRAG YOU INTO HAMILTRSH HELL))

DON’T LET ME EVER HEAR (read?) YOU CALL YOURSELF A LOSER, OK?? BECAUSE IF YOU DO, ILL BREAK SOMETHING =3= It’s my fault, really. I should’ve written the answer and then copy-pasted it when I had net. 

We’re going to Norway! It’s gonna be so much fun :3 My sister is also going, so I’m very very excited about that ^^

I love my new icon *^* There’s a whole set of them, so chances are I’ll rotate them ^^;;; 

Ahahahah good luck with that! I’d love to see it when it’s done, if you do manage to get it done XD Any ideas on which colours you want?

Welp, I’d say those would be pretty nice last words, especially considering the situation.  Ahem.

But when I fantsize at night, it’s Illumi’s eyes

FOR FUCK’S SAKE ILLUMI YOU CAN’T JUST STAB A MIND CONTROL NEEDLE INTO SOMEONE AND DO THAT. THAT’S WRONG!

Well, uh, I mean, good for Armin? But, then again, how would he get Armin into the MP?

Oh joy more character reviews XD I’ll get to those at the end of the post ^^

Not a drawing but;

Replace Jackson with Jefferson and we have his thought process. 

I bet he’d run away screaming. I know I would if I was him XDD

Ah, true... Still, Eliza is impressive no matter the song! She’s just too cinnamo roll-y not to be impressive. I love her T^T

Schuyler family in general is amazing. Even the generation after the sisters. Like PHILIP. 

I’ve only managed to do Satisfied a few times, and her rapping skills are godly. Not that mine are very good XD

Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain

Oh, I should do that XD 

Aah, that makes sense... I mean, I knew tons about BnHA before watching and I still now about Joker Game despite not even being interested in it XD It’s just unavoidable on Tumblr :P

S C H W I N G

Well, I read your update and...  KUROIWA IS DEAD??? WHY?? W H Y

Just.

This is why I gave up on TG.

Hnngh no one from here like anime =3=

Wow. Just wow. HxH seriously seems like an emotional ride. I’ll have to think about it XDDD

Also you’ll be Gon and I’ll be Gone is just...

Yay for magnificent bastards!! I like the last one you sent me the most, I think it had all hair down and no headband?

Yeah, Im not surprised. Tell me, did you cry during Hughes’ death? Or during hs funeral?

I got your submission XD I’ll answer it here so I don’t bother the people there but it’s magnificent! So. Many. Puns.

Ahahah. If only I’d known... I also went and rewatched The One Thing You Can’t replace. And I’m amazed again XD

AND WOW THE HAM/ELIZA FEELS. WOW. THERe GOES MY HEART.

Shaiapouf reminds me of Shuu... All those butterflies... 

Tbh Ging (?) sounds like me as a parent XD Well, at least he tries?

#evans #submission