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little-pondhead · 11 months

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[inspired roughly by this post. My brain snails started going nuts so I thought it'd be easier to post this separately :)]

…

It was a lovely day in Gotham. Well, as lovely as it could be. The sun was up, peeking through the overhead cloud cover and making the buildings gleam in the rare sunlight. The air was fresher than usual, and faucets ran clear of strange and unusual toxins.

Somewhere in the Upper East Side, in a little neighborhood tucked away from the rest of the city, marched around the new boss of the area. She was a young girl, just barely in high school. But despite it being the middle of a work day, she wandered around her chosen streets, content to do whatever she wanted. Above her, a pair of siblings watched on and discussed the unique situation.

"So let me get this straight: that fourteen-year-old goth girl is a crime boss?"

Mia smiled at Leon, her older brother, and his dumbfounded expression as they rested on her balcony. "She's fifteen, actually. Her birthday just passed. We all got together and threw a block party for her!"

"You know how insane that sounds, right?" Leon turned to her, a bit miffed that she dared to say those words to his face. "She's a kid. Why do you all listen to her?"

Mia shrugged and sipped her beer. "She does good work. Holds her own pretty well, and the kid has connections. Good ones, too. That can be the difference between life and death in Gotham."

Leon rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I just don't get it. How did she end up in this line of work? Do child labor laws even apply here?? Why aren't the Bats doing anything?"

"Don't think about it too much, dipshit." Mia crushed her now-empty beer can in her hand and tucked it into a paper garbage bag hanging off of a hook on the balcony rail. A familiar set of green arrows was printed on the side.

"And now you're recycling?!" Leon realized. "When did you start doing that, Mia??"

The woman shrugged and got up, stretching. "Probably around the time Brambles absolutely reamed out Mrs. Zalinski for littering at the park."

"Wait, who's Brambles?" Leon scrambled upright and followed his sister inside.

Mia laughed. "Brambles is our fifteen-year-old crime boss!"

...

"I can't believe you got a cool name right off the bat," Danny grumbled, flopping onto Sam's bed face-first. Sam smirked and shoved him off with her foot. Danny just squawked and let himself ragdoll to the ground.

"It's your fault for not having a better gimmick." She said to his prone body. "Besides, it could've been worse."

"I think Inviso-Bill is the worst possible nickname for anyone." Danny groaned. "But you got something cool immediately. Who even thought up 'Brambles'? That's such a unique name!"

"Well the kids call you Grim; that's pretty cool."

Danny flopped over, twisting himself much farther than any human was supposed to just so he could glare at her face. "They only call me that cause one of the is obsessed with Harry Potter." He grumbled, pouting.

Sam just rolled her eyes and went back to sorting through piles of papers scattered all across her duvet. Since moving to Gotham several months ago, Sam had taken it upon herself to turn the experience into something useful rather than just moping all the time, as she originally wanted to. That 'something useful' had landed her as the newest crime boss in Gotham, with about a third of the Upper East Side as her current territory.

So many problems had popped up in the last year, and the group had decided that taking it on alone would never work. The GIW had been trying to close Amity's borders, Danny's parents had a scientific breakthrough, tensions in the Realms were high, etc. There was a lot on their plate! Sam's solution was to create a foothold in Gotham City. She would lay the foundations for Jazz to work in Arkham and forge a safer environment for the residents of Amity Park to sneak off to if the GIW went too far. She was essentially weaving a cushion for everyone to fall back on.

Danny, using the power of duplication, was splitting his focus between foiling his parent's plans and resolving issues with his rouges to create a united front. He was the main distraction, and Sam's own heavy hitter when she needed help establishing dominance.

Tucker planned to gather intel with the help of Technus and Jazz. They were trying to gather as much evidence as possible so they'd be in the clear when the whistle blew. The GIW would crash and burn, legally speaking. They were the bugs of the operation, spreading themselves thin and hoarding information like it was candy.

Dani was their wild card, their jester. She was keeping the JLD's attention focused solely on her and all the supernatural hijinks she was stirring up. When the time was right, she'd point them in the direction needed and let them loose. After winding them up so much, the hope was that the Justice League Dark would descend upon the GIW like hellfire.

But those were their future plans. Right now, Sam was in possession of specific files from Arkham Asylum and the GCPD. She was looking for anything to give her an edge in the upcoming meeting with a few other crime bosses. Some annual thing they host to renew Goonion contracts, see who's still alive, and examine how much the territory lines have changed. Stuff like that. Red Hood was supposed to be there, and she knew she needed an ironclad defense against him and his nosy colony of Bats.

Danny untwisted himself all of a sudden, making a weird face. "Sorry, got to go." He apologized. "Vlad just showed up to my house."

Sam waved him off. "Go, I'll be fine for today. Just be on time for the meeting on Friday. And I want you, not a double."

"You got it!" Danny did finger guns at her and promptly melted into a pile of green goo. Right on her bedroom floor!

Sam sighed and got up to throw a towel over the puddle. The ectoplasm would evaporate eventually, returning to the original Danny little by little. But for now, this would keep anyone from asking about it until it was all gone.

Sometimes she really hated living in student dorms. People always felt the need to burst into her room for no reason.

Who even made dorm rooms for high schoolers in the first place??

...

Jason couldn't help but stare at the new recruit.

Well, 'new recruit' wasn't exactly accurate. 'Potential to be the most headache-inducing supervillain' was more like it. Standing at a solid 5'10" with platform boots, Brambles, the newest crime lord who had taken over half of the Upper East Side in under four months, was almost tall enough to look him in the eye straight on. Which she tried to do anyways, tilting her chin up oh-so-slightly (in that stupid way aristocrats do when they want to look down at you) and glaring at him with open hostility.

Brambles was young, way too young to be in this line of business. At the start of the annual underground crime meeting (yes, they couldn't come up with a better name), she had announced that she was fifteen, went by she/her, and would snap the dick off of anyone who looked at her funny. Most everyone laughed at her, thinking it was an empty threat. Brambles proved it wasn't by sucker-punching a younger lieutenant who tried to get handsy with her five minutes into the meeting.

When the lieutenant's boss protested and threatened a gang war, Brambles had snapped her fingers and summoned what could only be a fucking pit demon from the depths of hell to threaten the man back. The creature looked like a teenager, just like Brambles, at first. But it was...off. The longer you looked, the worse it got.

It wore a draping black cloak that covered most of its body, with the ends turning to mist when it reached the floor. It had a pale, young face and white hair. Its eyes glowed just like Brambles', except they were a toxic green that made Jason's heart skip a beat in fear. The creature was snarling, with a fucking muzzle on it to keep its sharp teeth away from wandering fingers.

With a nod from Brambles, the creature bounded forward and knocked the guy to the floor, its arm elbow-deep into the guy's chest. The dude looked terrified, and a little sick "Would you rather lose a lieutenant or your life?" She had snarled, sounding almost a bit demonic herself. The other boss had backed down without another word, writing off his subordinate as dead and gone.

Instead of killing the guy, however, Brambles simply banished her little guard dog to a corner of the warehouse to play with its new toy in peace.

"Is she allowed to do that?" Someone whispered.

"They weren't unionized, so the Goonion won't say anything." Another answered.

It was the most awkward meeting in the history of the criminal underworld. No one even died since they were all focused on the newcomer.

Jason could feel a headache forming as the meeting came to an end. Brambles was still sitting in her chair. The creature had grown bored of its toy and was leaning against her, sprawled out lazily and barely flicking an ear at the onlookers in acknowledgment. A few people were idling around her, mostly women, trying to talk some big game and get on the kid's good side. Brambles was humoring them, taking tight control of the conversation when they got too prying.

Jason sighed. He knew he'd have to go over and have a talk with the kid, even if it was just for Bruce's files. He hauled himself upwards and stalked over. "Pardon me, ladies and gents, but I'm going to borrow the kiddo here for a moment."

The creature hissed at him, tensed at his approach. Brambles kept a tight grip on the back of its muzzle, keeping it grounded. The other criminals scattered like flies. They were the only two (three?) left in the warehouse within minutes.

Bramble rose to glare at him. "What." She spat. "If you're here to convince me not to get involved with anything, I will set Grim on your ass after lighting it on fire."

The creature, Grim, growled in agreement. The sound echoed strangely like he was hearing it from underwater.

"Relax, I'm not here to do any of that." Jason raised his hands in surrender, immediately abandoning that possible line of thought. "I'm just here to talk business. You're young, and while you don't want to admit it, inexperienced."

"Stop the fancy words, Red Hood." Brambles' eyes glowed again, and she released her hold on Grim's muzzle. "If you want to make a deal, say it to my face. If you're here to dig for information, either ask me or hit the road. I prefer honesty over flower talk, so tell me what you want before I take over your area, too."

Jason bristled. His vision was tinted green as he snapped, "What the fuck is your problem, kid?! I just wanted to make sure you were safe and not being forced to do this. I was even going to offer my support and protection if it was too much! I know you aren't going to stop, but that doesn't mean I want a kid to die just because they got into something they shouldn't and they think their fancy guard dog will always be there to protect them!"

Brambles' eyes stopped glowing, and her stare softened a bit. Grim went deadly still, just floating there, staring at Jason. His heart beat like crazy in his chest. What was he saying? It was all true, but he could've been nicer about it. Dick would've found a way to be nicer.

-krrrk- "Ibis, reporting in. I think you can trust him, guys. Even if he's a Bat, his connections and experience would be useful in our plans. Ibis out." -krrrk-

Jason flinched from the sudden noise, looking around to find the source. It sounded like it had come from everywhere, even inside his own helmet. Brambles immediately switched out her hostile look for an annoyed one, tapping an earpiece he hadn't noticed before.

"Ibis, you really have to stop opening up our comm lines to the public." She snapped, but there was no real heat to it. "And I thought I told you to stop eavesdropping!"

-krrrk- "Sorry, can't help it. I'm everywhere now! You shouldn't have given me this power." -krrrk-

Grim hissed.

-krrrk- "Don't hiss at me, young man! You were the one who suggested this!" -krrrk-

"I'm sorry, time out!" Jason made a T with his hands. The green from his vision had completely disappeared now. "What the FUCK is going on now?"

Brambles sighed, rubbing her temples. "You know what? Fine. We'll trust you. My name is Sam. Nice to meet you, Jason Todd."

Jason stepped back, immediately reaching for his gun. Grim darted forward and promptly flew through him, stealing all his weapons in one go. "I'm Danny!" Grim-Danny?-chirped in a human voice, giving him a shit-eating smile. "Sorry for the act, Mr. Hood. And sorry about the name drop, I'm the one that told them."

-krrrk- "I'm Tucker! There are more of us, but they're busy. I have literally so many questions for you, Mr. Hood." -krrrk-

"Now that introductions are over-Danny don't eat his smoke bombs, you're not gonna look like Dorathea-we'd like your help."

Jason squinted at them. "You understand this is all suspicious as fuck, right? And how did a pit demon find out who I am?"

-krrrk- "Yeah, we know. But lives are on the line here, and I think you'd really be a help!" -krrrk-

Brambles-Sam-sighed and pulled out a flash drive. "I was going to use this as leverage, but I guess it'll have to be useful in other ways." She tossed it to Jason, who numbly caught it. "Look over it if you want. If you don't, then just burn it. Do not try to plug it into the Batcomputer. Don't try to send it to the Batcomputer, either. A virus will target that specific IP address as soon as it makes contact. Any other computer is fine."

"Look it over, and we can go from there," Danny added, spinning in midair while chomping on one of Jason's knives. (His good one, too!) "And I'm not a pit demon, but I am dead. That's how I knew about you. Whatever brought you back to life gave the Realms a real headache for a while. It wasn't hard to look you up in the records."

"This is so much information. Lives are on the line? And two, three kids are dealing with it? By becoming crime bosses?"

-krrrk- "Technically, Sam's the only crime boss here. And that was kind of an accident. She was supposed to create a safe foothold in Gotham in case we needed to evacuate our town. But we all got cool nicknames out of it! And you're the only adult we've told this stuff to!" -krrrk-

"I'm what?"

"The only adult." Sam's unwavering gaze seemed to pierce his soul. "There are quite literally no other adults that can help, Red Hood. None that we trust, not really. Any adult intervention needs to be planned carefully so it doesn't backfire on us. We're trusting you here, Jason. Not only are you like us, which technically puts you in danger too, but you have power and connections to support a whole town of people the government wants to eradicate."

Jason looked at the little green flash drive in his hand. He didn't want to ask. "And this...?"

"A fruit basket," Sam said simply. "Originally, it was supposed to be blackmail. But instead, this is a present to show our goodwill and faith. To show you our skills. That drive contains information on other gangs, upcoming rogue attacks, chemical breakdowns of Joker Venom and Fear Gas, unfinished antidote formulas, etc. Tucker and his team scoured the underbelly of Gotham and gathered dirt on every single prominent figurehead. Including Bruce Wayne, should you choose to use it."

"I would never-"

"But you've thought about it." Danny cut in and scratched his neck. Jason's hands shook. "It's not a bad thing. It's just the nature of the dead. Wanting to right the wrongs left over from their time with the living. Even if you walk and breathe now, that doesn't mean desire disappears."

"The point is, we need help. Even if I'm loathe to admit it." Sam rolled her eyes, and suddenly, Jason didn't see a potential supervillain in the making. He saw a teenager trying her best, shouldering the responsibility of hundreds of people, both in Gotham and her hometown. Danny looked the same, no matter how other-worldly he was. What battles were they facing? Why weren't there any adults to turn to? What kind of lives were they leading if they immediately trusted a known crime lord with their lives upon the first meeting?

"I'll think about it." Jason finally said. Danny trilled in excitement, and some tension bled out of Sam's shoulders. "If the situation is bad enough, however, I'm calling in someone else for help."

Danny shrugged. "As long as it ain't Batman! I don't think he'll appreciate us smuggling a town of liminals into his city."

Sam poked Danny's shoulder, prompting him to look at her. "Let's go, before you break his brain with more info-dumping. Bye Red Hood!"

"Uh, yeah. Goodbye!" Jason stuttered. He watched the two kids walk towards the exit door, before shimmering out of sight before they even touched the handle.

What the fuck.

#danny phantom #dpxdc #kinda strayed away from the prompt #and that's why its a separate post not a reblog #long post #not beta read #no beta we die like danny #pondhead writes #this leans into more of a ‘Sam did it on purpose but said it was an accident’#Tucker read the vibes from all the way in Amity and the other two just roll with it #Tucker: we can trust him #Sam: here’s our entire life story then #Danny: I hope you don’t mind us info-dumping :)#Danny will eat anything #he’s a growing boy! (hopefully)#he wanted to look like Dorathea when she’s a dragon #I cannot stress enough I don’t know shit about dc #so if someone is already in charge of the upper east side #then shut up Sam is their boss now #not continuing please don’t ask I will cry #someone else is free to take over from here #it’s literally just brain vomit to get myself going

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fumifooms · 7 months

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My world shattering when I realize that Chilchuck is underweight

Post-canon Chilchuck stops dieting and gains weight real

Edit: I am going to SCREAM

#Dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #give him the dad bod. He earned his beer belly #It makes me sad please retire and let yourself live. Gonna draw him chubby.#Someone mentioned that with the changeling incident halfling Marcille and dwarf Laios had a hard time keeping up with the others’ pace #Which implied that Chilchuk is normally kind of running everywhere with the party #He doesn’t look toned tho he looks like he’s all skin and bones nooooo #Senshi feed this man #i reblogged with more evidence/interesting stuff btw #Isn’t it kinda messed up how half-foots don’t show the same physical signs of starving that other races do?#Who knows how many of them are malnourished. You can’t tell at a look #That does tie in with how other races dismiss them and their struggles tbh. Such “small” and “hard to notice” problems

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griancraft · 2 months

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Hi guys, this is sort of my official "please, for the love of god, listen to Skyjacks with me” post because I’m losing my mind and all the content I can find is from the latest stuff right now, and I don’t want to spoil myself. I want to be able to talk about this with people!!!! I will make a watch (listen) party discord if there is enough interest. Just give it a chance; you won’t regret it. Also, some information may be wrong or outdated. I’m on episode 11 out of over 200.

Skyjacks is a ttrpg podcast about sky pirates in a world where there was a catastrophe about 200 years ago that left the sea unsafe to sail and maybe even damaged the entire world to the point where civilization is scattered and in small groups. There is very casual queer rep, and it’s casual to the point where it really just fits into the world perfectly.

A brief summary of the premise of the first episode will hopefully get you hooked. I’m really bad at summaries, but I promise it’s a billion times better than how I talked about it here:

Captain Orimar Vale is dead, and a mutiny will be on Gable, Jonnit, Travis, and Dref’s hands if they are unable to keep up the ruse of him being alive. To do this, necromancy (deeply forbidden magic) is performed by the Dref, the ship's doctor, to turn him into a semi-functional zombie. Captain Orimar is famous for his abilities as a captain; to replicate this will take great skill.

As they run out of supplies, they make a desperate decision: port on the land of one of Orimar’s scorned lovers or deal with the growing uneasiness of the rest of the crew. They haven’t seen their captain healthy in months, and whispers about his health are starting. However, greater danger will await them when they take to the skies again, lurking just beyond the clouds…

And more propaganda as to why I think you guys will like it:

There are unique and interesting gameplay mechanics they use to tell a really cool story, and if you like Hermitcraft or any other sorta storytelling-based SMP, I promise you’ll like it. Like. If you liked Boatem from Hermitcraft 8, you’ll love the characters in Skyjacks. The players are exceptionally good at playing their characters, their humour is unmatched by anything similar I’ve had the pleasure of seeing, and the story is prioritized, which I think is an amazing choice.

Best part? It’s still ongoing after, like, 5 years. Some people have left, but a good chunk of the OG cast has stayed. Not that leaving is bad, because holy crap, 5 years is a long time, and stories have to end at some point! It’s a good way of getting into something and knowing there is still a shit ton of content to be explored.

The music is good. The story is good. The characters and humour are amazing. The lore of the world is sprinkled throughout, and as you learn more about the world, the more excited you get. It’s incredible so far, and if you decide to listen to it, I will actually love you forever and ever. My boyfriend is on episode 190, and he finds it so funny every time I go. Oh my god, this is so cool.

Link to the podcast, but in a playlist (up to 180). So it’s in order and easy to find, since it’s a part of something else from the oneshot network:

#I need you guys to get into skyjacks I cannot do this alone #Can’t even look in the skyjacks tag for fan art to loose my mind about because I am literally over 200 1hr+ episodes BEHIND #I promise it is so worth it #I’m almost done episode 11 :#which is so so early so it would be very easy to catch up to me #I’m going to reblog this once a day or so I think #collapses in a heap of dust this post was never supposed to be this long #also please don’t spoil me if you’re ahead or get ahead guys istg i will kill you with my bare hands I’ll put my episode number in my pinne #ack tags too long #me when I infodump for 45 minutes straight when I should be working on my final essay #I’m dragging you fuckers kicking and screaming. Please guys.#I realize now this will like definitely show up in the tags but honestly I don’t know if that matters

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dragonanon · 4 months

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Death!Reader and God!Brother head cannons

Note: you can thank @sherlockhomies-42 for this, my brain hasn’t known peace since I read their stuff about the reader being Death in Hazbin Hotel. And if I don’t get my thoughts out right now I might honestly combust. 🙃

Lore HCs:

- Before Hell, Earth, and even Heaven existed, there was nothing….Until by some cosmic miracle, God popped into existence. God started by building himself a luxurious paradise; the same paradise that would eventually become Heaven.

- God relished in his wonderful new home for a while, but quickly grew bored with being alone. So he began creating animals and other small creatures to keep him company. At first, this worked out great! But to an ageless, immortal being like God, several years felt like mere moments to him; and before he knew it, his beloved creations had become incredibly old and were in ever increasing pain and discomfort as they continued to age, and there was nothing God could do about it. All he could do was create life, and once life had been created God was powerless to do anything to stop it or take it away.

- Just when it seemed God would be forced to watch his creations suffer forever, another incredible miracle happened; you popped into existence. Sporting six mighty black wings and a set of horns gracing your head, you gently touched each of the suffering creatures, and with your touch each one FINALLY had their suffering come to an end as they died, and their now freed souls traveled down to a newly created realm to rest and wait for whatever came next; Limbo.

- God watched in awe as you gave his beloved friends what he couldn’t; an ending. God realized quickly, based on an instinctual pull he felt towards you, that whatever force had created him had clearly struck again, and brought you into existence.

- God was now in the presence of a being just as powerful as him, but while you may have been his equal in terms of how you both came to be and the sheer power you both held, your powers were VERY different from his; almost like they were the opposite of his. That’s when it dawns on him, you’re his sibling! His counterpart! If his powers are to begin and yours are to end, then you’re meant to bring balance to everything! After all, there can never be a beginning if there’s no end, and there can never be an end if there is no beginning.

- It’s then that you’re given your name; “Death”, and as both the younger sister of God and the only one capable of bringing an end to any life he creates, your very existence leads to you both creating balance in the universe for the very first time.

- As the first order of business, God started creating ageless beings, like the Seraphim and other Angelic beings. And with your input, he gave them the gift of sentience so they could all think, feel emotions, and communicate with each other and you and your older brother, and the ability to create just like him.

- At some point though, God started getting more lazy and careless, given he didn’t have to do much now that he’d created ageless beings capable of thinking and creating things themselves. He suddenly had more free time than he knew what to do with, and it culminated in him pretty much just sitting back in his fancy palace, and allowing allowing his children do as they pleased while he casually observed from time to time from the sidelines. (Dude basically just became super depressed because now he essentially had nothing to do, and felt like he no longer served any purpose in existing. He hasn’t told you or anyone about these feelings tho, just drinks himself silly everyday and vibes in his palace.)

- This annoyed you GREATLY as you now had to essentially step up and provide guidance to the Seraphim and other Angelic beings when they needed it, because your brother couldn’t even be bothered to do that. You started to resent God for his “hands off” approach to running things, while God began to resent you for being “nagging and controlling”.

- The resentment eventually boiled over when Lucifer and Lilith inadvertently created Hell, and the other Seraphim and Angelic beings banished them both into the realm they’d created. Outraged by what God’s lack of involvement had caused, you got into a nasty fight with him as you pleaded with him to intervene and FINALLY put an end to the chaos he’d allowed to run rampant for centuries. God vehemently refused, insisting that the Seraphim and Angelic beings knew what they were doing and didn’t need his input. Furthermore, God believed that the punishment was justified given it was their actions that caused evil to invade the Earth.

- You were getting NO WHERE in this argument, so for the sake of your own sanity, you returned to Limbo to continue your work of bringing death to those who needed it. Along with the new task of taking dead souls back to Limbo, where they would stay until you determined whether to send them to Heaven or Hell based on how the soul had behaved while alive.

- That’s how it went for centuries before you decided you needed a little break, and informed Heaven and Hell that you would be taking a well deserved nap. This would mean that they would need to work together to sort souls in the meantime, as your reapers would ensure that death still continued appropriately on Earth while you sleep. Heaven and Hell agreed to this, and with that you curled up in bed and went to sleep.

- Speaking of reapers, reapers are permanent residents in Limbo. They are neither Angels nor Demons, but they’re ageless all the same. God actually made the first reapers for you, so they’re essentially the Limbo equivalent of Seraphim and other Heaven born angelic beings. These reapers, often called “First Ones”, have sentience and emotions since they were created by God himself. So you typically have First Ones lead the other reapers.

- All the reapers you’ve obtained since the First Ones are Limbo’s equivalent of Sinners, often called “Hollows”. Hollows are souls who in order to avoid eternal suffering in Hell, instead opted to willingly relinquish their humanity entirely and become an undead being working for you. In giving up their humanity however, the souls lose their ability to feel anything whatsoever. They’re little more than robots; doing what they’re told and not questioning it, all while feeling absolutely nothing. They’re called “Hollows” because that’s essentially what they are, hollowed out husks that now only exist to serve you.

- Regardless of whether they’re a First One or Hollow though, they all have the same job; find the humans whom you’ve given death to, reap their souls from their bodies, and guide them down to Limbo and care for them until you’ve sorted them into Heaven or Hell. The only real difference is the First Ones are usually in charge of the Hollows, ensuring that the Hollows reap the correct souls and are doing their jobs.

- If you had only known what your absence would cause, you would’ve NEVER went to sleep. For as SOON as you were out, Heaven took it upon themselves to decide where the souls went, completely defying your orders that Heaven and Hell work TOGETHER to decide that. To add insult to injury, Heaven also became incredibly elitist and picky about who got into Heaven, and this resulted in a vast majority of souls being sent to Hell for even the smallest infractions. The unbalanced approach of sorting souls eventually caused the over population problem and subsequent annual exterminations.

- With Heaven’s incredible arrogance and Hell’s complicity in this, both realms are in for a VERY rude awakening when you eventually wake up prematurely and see what they all have done. You’re gonna read Sera, Lilith, Lucifer, Adam, Lute, AND God the riot act for fucking your shit up

Okay lore time over, here’s the silly, more generalized, shit you’ve all been waiting for!

- When making the Seraphim, God made them in your image. He really just wanted to show his love and appreciation for you in some way, and he decided the best way to that was by basing the physical appearances of his first sentient creations on you. Hence why all the Seraphim are beautiful and have six wings like you do. It was literally like a kid excitedly making a piece of macaroni art of their sibling and being super excited to show it off to them

- All of the beings directly created by God are considered his “children”, so they all refer to him as “father”. Given that you’re God’s younger sister though, it also technically makes them your “nieces/nephews/niblings” and it makes you their “aunt”. You get called “Aunt Death” or “Auntie Death” by them a lot, but you’re cool with it because you think it’s cute.

- You weren’t supposed to have any favorites, but you always did have a soft spot for Lucifer in particular. He reminded you a lot of how God used to be back when you’d first come into existence; so energetic and excited to create things. You affectionately called him your “favorite nephew”.

- You haven’t seen God since the fight you had with him after Lucifer’s banishment into Hell. You actually miss your older brother dearly, but you’re still so pissed at him that you don’t feel like talking to him for the foreseeable future. You temporarily go back on this decision long enough to chew God out for allowing his children to make a complete mess of your realm, and destroying the balance you worked so hard to create and maintain. You’re back to giving him the silent treatment after that.

- Limbo is ONLY accessible by you, Cerberus, dead souls, and your reapers. No one else is capable of entering Limbo, hence why everyone assumed that the exterminations were successful in getting rid of excess Sinners. In reality however, all the “killed” Sinners were really just getting yeeted back into Limbo for re-sorting since something that’s already dead can’t die again.

- The persistent wailing and cries of the millions and millions of souls who were now trapped in Limbo was eventually what managed to wake you up early from your nap. You were not pleased in the slightest.

- Despite having a very gothic and menacing appearance, you’re incredibly gentle and kind. You feel great honor in being the one tasked with giving everyone the ending they need and deserve, and you take pride in caring for the souls that may have to stay in Limbo for an extended period of time whilst you decide where they will go next.

- You take no satisfaction in having a send ANYONE to Hell. It doesn’t feel good to know that you’re condemning someone to an eternity of suffering, no matter how deserving of that punishment they may be. Hence why it can sometimes take awhile for you to decide where a soul goes, because you want to be sure you’re really making the right decision.

- You’re saddened by how much like your brother Lucifer has become after his banishment, and you wholeheartedly believe that the ONLY reason he hasn’t completely turned into his father is that he has Charlie to think of.

- You and God are both fucking MASSIVE in your true forms. Like, “skyscrapers BARELY reach your hips”, massive. You’re both capable of shrinking down to be able to better interact with people, but even at your smallest you STILL tower over most Sinners.

- You’re low key salty that Lucifer went and had a baby while you were sleeping, because you missed out on getting to play the role of “doting great aunt” while Charlie was growing up. You’re trying really hard to make up for the lost time by visiting frequently. Much to the minor annoyance of a certain radio demon who doesn’t like the feeling of being in the presence of someone FAR more powerful than him. He deals with it and is polite tho because it’s FAR better to have someone as powerful as you be an acquaintance than an enemy.

- You can walk the streets of Hell with complete impunity because everyone either knows EXACTLY who you are and goes out of their way to stay in your good graces, or they end up finding out real fucking quick that you are NOT to be messed with.

- That being said, your presence is generally more accepted in Hell than it is in Heaven. In Hell, you’re far more likely to be willingly approached and have a nice conversation with a Demon. Whereas in Heaven, everyone is scared shitless of you except for Emily and actively tries to avoid even making eye contact with you. It’s like pulling teeth just trying to get someone to tell you what time it is. Of course you can ask anyone in Heaven anything and they’ll respond because they’re too afraid not to lol. But they’ll look like they’re on the verge of fainting then entire time you’re talking to them.

- The aversion to you in Heaven gets better over time as you’re seen having friendly interactions with Emily, but most Angels still get a bit uneasy in your presence. Sera is one of them because she knows that you’re BEYOND pissed at her and she’s one more fuck up away from getting dragged to Limbo and being made into one of your reapers to serve you AND the souls she hurt.

- Much like sending souls to Hell, you get no satisfaction in turning someone into a Hollow. Completely stripping someone of their emotions and sentience is not an enjoyable experience, even if it does result in you getting more help in Limbo. Despite this, you’re still required to make this offer to all souls set to be sent to Hell. You do your best to explain though what the consequences of this decision are though, and thankfully most souls see what becoming a Hollow entails and opt to keep their humanity. However every now and then you’ll get few who insist that becoming a Hollow will be a better fate, so you end up with new reapers.

- Vox is BIG MAD that his biggest rival is now rubbing elbows with the LITERAL Goddess of death. Dumbass had no clue who you even were at first so he didn’t care, but as soon as found out you were Death, the ensuing meltdown he had knocked the power out for the whole Pride ring. Alastor is aware of how pissed Vox is about this, so he purposely goes out of his way to play up his interactions with you when he knows Vox is watching. He can practically hear Vox’s apoplectic screeching when he does it, and it brings him immense joy every time.

- You’re often accompanied by Cerberus; a massive, three headed, doglike beast. God made him for you as a gift AGES ago to be a bodyguard and companion for you. Not that you ever NEED a bodyguard, but the thought was appreciated all the same. You ADORE Cerberus, he is the goodest good boy that ever did a good in your book. Cerberus loves you just as much and loves to give you kisses and cuddles.

- Lucifer was dog sitting Cerberus for you while you slept. Cerberus was a little shit during this time because he missed you, so he would often purposely ignore any commands Lucifer gave him. Charlie loved him though and he was actually great with her, so Lucifer put up with it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #death! reader #reader is death #death! reader head cannons #god these were fun to write #Lucifer trying to appeal to your generosity and mercy when you first storm into hell like:#‘Hello aunt Death! Wow you look great! Did you did you do something different with your hair? gosh it’s so good to see you!’#meanwhile internally he’s like: oh god oh fuck please don’t kill me please don’t kill me pleasedon’tkillmepleasedon’tkillmepleasedo-#you end up snorting and shrinking down from your true form to give him a hug and remark that he’s VERY lucky he’s your favorite nephew

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