#if that makes sense. i cant be any clearer than that

[everythingsinred]

lil musing on natsume + manga

anyway im not mad at the world anymore. i choose peace! let's talk about natsume's manga for two seconds bc i realized just now that @crimoncitrus , @thesightofworms, and i discovered the reason why natsume reads yaoi while we were playing the ga karuta game and i never reported those findings!

its just cuz rui and nobara like yaoi so theres a lot of that particular reading material in the da. natsume loves to read manga so. he makes do with whats around... i love that explanation SO MUCH bc it gives a new dimension to the da class dynamics. natsume hates those two people but is willing to swipe the books they bring to class lmao.

personally i think that explains why he reads so many random things, yaoi aside. he reads sanrio catalogs and books on jam and cooking. idk boy's a bookworm! he'll take anything as long as he can read. kinda like how as a child, if i was visiting my grandparents in serbia i'd end up looking through encyclopedias and shitty mystery novels i probably wouldnt rly consider otherwise bc its all that was available. natsume just reads anything, i guess.

including mikan's anger at mochu here as further evidence that he was able to give a really good gift! in the tokyopop she even accuses mochu of cheating...

for natsume's bday, mochu got him "manga he really wanted to read" and natsume looked as visibly excited as natsume ever lets himself be, probably bc hes happy to be able to read smth he wants rather than whatevers laying around. i know our boy's a special star and probably has plenty of money to fund a manga collection, but he doesnt seem to enjoy going to central town any of the times we see him there and he's usually just eager to leave asap so i dont think he makes a habit of going out of his way to buy manga. plus, i imagine mochu's huge haul for him took time and care that natsume wasn't willing to put in for himself. but mochu cares abt natsume so was willing to painstakingly search for his friend's favorite titles.

i know he usually uses manga to cover his face in class, but that's because he's tired and sick and needs rest. the glimpses we have of his bedroom suggest he reads manga there...

look at those books!

anyway rip to natsume bc his laziness wins over his desire to read something he actually enjoys everytime.

also for some reason despite the fact that i dont rly watch a lot of shounen, i wont be moved on my headcanon that natsume would. my reasoning is.... because.

#i think about natsume every SINGLE day. sometimes i write abt my thoughts but sometimes i cant. #today yall can have ramblings that arent particularly connected.... #gakuen alice #hyuuga natsume #how do i say this..... hmmm #he acts like someone who knows a lot abt naruto and bleach #if that makes sense. i cant be any clearer than that #anyway i was gonna go thru the manga real quick but i dont feel like it lol

[dutybcrne]

Me BSing hcs like: The fact that Kae is not only able to create a shield when he is dangerously low HP but also the fact that he is able to regenerate HP when he hits opponents with Frostgnaw is definitely due to him receiving his Vision when Diluc had tried to kill him in their Confrontation...but could it be possible that his familial ties to the Abyss Order could have influenced that HP drain of his-

#//And that's without mentioning the fact that Glacial Waltz's duration increases FOR EVERY OPPONENT DEFEATED #//Between that and his lil teleporting trick like an Abyss mage's (minus the flurries of ice); I have SO many thinkings #//Deffo love the abilities of his being an amalgam of Vision based and Abyssal energy imbued #//Deffo love that fact meaning it hurts a bit to use his Vision at all; esp with the teleporting being such a Staple to his combat style #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Sidetracking a bit; but I also like to think that even after the Abyss is defeated/beaten back enough to not be such a threat; he'd still #keep his abilities from it/some connection to it. Bc he's so used to it being such a big PART of his fighting style/assets to use in a pinc #//But also bc keeping that connection means it'd help him keep track of any remnants of the Order far easier #//He could track them down with far more ease; sense if they are growing stronger; get intel from Domains/abyssal traces #//Of course being very mindful to keep it a secret & trying to not involve his loved ones/fellow knights of it all #//But he very much is careful esp bc of risks of him being corrupted by it; keeping a keen eye on his mental/physical/emotional states #//Deffo has plans to leave Mond and/or end his own life if he starts seeing the Abyssal corruption affecting him irreversibly #suicide mention tw #//Kind of but also kind of not; considering some of the ways how he'd go abt it #//Knows it'd be harder to the further it goes; so he has particular criteria he keeps tracks of to ensure if they come to pass #//he; in a clearer state of mind; would either 1) use his Vision to try & purge the energy out of himself (extremely painful; COULD kill #if the corruption runs deep enough & save him the trouble) or 2) use the aggressiveness of the corruption to provoke someone (esp Luc) #into taking care of him &thus ending the problem all together. Bc he KNOWS he's strong; only a handful of beings could actually kill him #//& actually be WILLING to; without hesitation. Luc comes to mind first bc of their Confrontation. But also bc Kae'd be happy w him being #the last person he ever sees. Thinks it'd be comforting more than anyone else. Esp since a lover would just break his heart to see them #//Worst case scenario is him falling to the corruption & sb breaking it out of him in the moment #//Bc the Instant he realizes what's happening; esp if they are crying and/or angered at him; he WILL fatally wound himself #//And make SURE it's not something he can come back from; save by a miracle (or 'curse' as he'd see it) #//Probably making an icicle and slitting his own throat; if not jamming the thing into his heart #//he won't hesitate; wont offer explanations; final words or apologies; he cant risk that moment of clarity being too short for it #//he HAS to make sure he can't hurt anyone any further; no matter what it means for him #//Which is partly why he'd be so keen to make sure it's not found out; bc he KNOWS he can be talked out of keeping those abilities #//Or worse; he'd fight them on it; and thus make for a fucken MESS in the aftermath if he's been too far along in the corruption #//But he KNOWS that even with the risks; the powers are a VALUABLE asset to him; &thus desperately wants to keep them #//'sidetracking a bit'; I said. Proceed to write a wHOLE FUCKEN NEW HC IN TAGS; I did; kjfbgkftg. Whoops lmao

[thecherrygod]

It's. 3am and i can't sleep and now I've realized something and I'm. Not sure how i. Feel about it

#my posts #i. dont think i want to.. go into this with too much detail. just. #its been over 10 years from. something. it hasnt happened in. in 10 years. #i. still feel as if it happened a few weeks ago sometimes. it.. doesnt make much sense to me #like im. glad it. never happened again but. i cant unlive it i cant atop carrying it with me. #i don't think i ever will. but i thought it at least would be... easier #but the older i get the. harder it gets. the more troublesome it feels #like theres parts or my life that will always be deeply affected by this and its clearer now than when i was younger #........ i. i dont know. i dont know where im. trying to go with this. i just. feel very bad #i. genuinely wish i had killed myself before turning 18 i dont want to deal with any of this anymore lmao

[rukafais]

I think an interesting thing about driders is that their 'original' portrayal has essentially telephone gamed into "But this makes no sense, Lolth can have a drider form, why would a drider form be a punishment??" Because they were essentially evolved design-wise into half-drow/half-spiders, with the unchanged drow half fused with most of a giant spider.

or alternatively "BUT A SPIDER CENTAUR IS COOL WHY CANT I PLAY ONE AS A PC" (which is valid lmao). And I like the interpretation of a sleeker drow spider centaur, it's interesting, this is not to Dunk On That Either.

But from the early novels, I think it's made a little clearer what the intent is:

At first, Drizzt thought it was a drow elf, and from the waist up, it was indeed, though bloated and pale. Its lower body, though, resembled a spider, with eight arachnid legs to support its frame. The creature held a bow ready in its hands but seemed confused, as though it could not discern what had entered its lair.

[...]

Drizzt watched, mesmerized, as the drider shifted its position on the boulder, searching for the intruders. Drizzt couldn’t tell if it was a male or female, so bloated was its torso, but he knew that it didn’t matter. The creature was not a natural creation and would leave no descendants behind, whatever its gender. It was a tormented body, nothing more, hating itself, in all probability, more than everything else around it.

(Homeland)

A huge spider leg slipped into the room, then another, then a third. The mutated torso came through next, Dinin’s unclothed and bloated body transmuted from the waist down into the lower torso of a giant black spider. His once fair face now seemed a dead thing, swollen and expressionless, his eyes showing no luster. The mercenary fought hard to keep his breathing steady. He removed his great hat and ran a hand over his bald, sweating head. The disfigured creature moved into the room fully and stood obediently behind Vierna, the priestess smiling at the mercenary’s obvious discomfort. [...]

Vierna had exacted the ultimate punishment of drow society on troublesome Dinin, something only a high priestess in the highest favor of Lolth could ever accomplish. She had replaced Dinin’s graceful drow body with this grotesque and mutated arachnid form, had replaced Dinin’s fierce independence with a malevolent demeanor that she could bend to her every whim. She had turned him into a drider.

(The Legacy)

The emphasis on bloating, disfigurement and even being paler than a normal drow personally gives me the impression of a blemished corpse, more than the more intact spider-centaurs we have in modern DnD. It's a punishment from Lolth and a deliberate mockery of her form because it removes both a drow's independence and their appearance, as Lolth is said to be extremely beautiful in any form.

Now whether this is a good trope is like, yes that's also a discussion to have, but I've seen it continuously expressed that driders as a punishment Make No Sense, so it's worth noting that some of the confusion comes from the design of the drider drifting over time...I think? Even in the original Drow of the Underdark book, based directly on Homeland and Exile, it says that driders retain their own bodies from the waist up. (Weirdly enough the monstrous compendium leaves the specific details about how fucked up their bodies are?)

#spoilers for a very old book series but this stuff fascinates me #even from the very first there was drift from the source material #long post

[i-heart-hxh]

hi! so ive been so confused/unsure abt why killua's reaction to palm saying "you are the one gon needs most" looked like he was devastated. ive thought of different reasons on why he had that reaction:

1) he got scared/devastated/stressed at the fact that he was the only one who could really help gon at that moment, but he was so sure he was useless cuz he couldn't even snap gon back to his own senses. so its like "if i—the closest help there is to gon—can't help him, then who/what else can?" and so the overwhelming thoughts of gon possibly dying haunts him.

2) he couldn't believe that he's the one gon really needs the most after assuming that palm probably placed higher than him already, and was fully convinced gon cares more about palm more than him. but then palm says she cant even compare to killua, which gave him that reaction .... i guess its like relief but portrayed in a painful way cuz of his self worth issues.

3) he got pressured by the thought of being the one gon will always rely on the most. anything bad that happens to gon will always depend on what killua would do abt it. and killua always worries and sacrifices too much when it comes to gon, so pressure just added up.

aaaand this is making my brain all scrambled (TT) i wanted to ask if u have a clearer answer for this..? i trust ur judgement a lot (｡-人-｡)

Hello! Aw, I appreciate that you trust my judgment, that's sweet of you to say. ❤️ I'll do my best to explain my take on Killua's expression in this scene!

So, I think his reaction of shock and looking devastated is primarily from the first set of reasons you brought up. He already tried to step in and stop Gon and got pushed away and told that the situation with Kite is none of his business essentially. Being rejected like that and being unable to change Gon's course of action (even though that's the role Gon entrusted him with) broke his heart, and made him feel like he can't change Gon's impending tragic outcome.

Bisky also told him this earlier in the arc:

While we know his tendency to flee against a strong enemy is caused (at least in a large part) by the needle, which he's already removed at this point in the series, Bisky's words to him and the gravity of the current situation still weigh heavily on him. In this scene, he's realizing that Gon's fate rests on him--and he doesn't know what to do to save Gon at this point. There's no one else he can ask or rely on any more to save Gon, it all hinges on him. What a heavy burden that is to be entrusted with, especially with how deeply he loves Gon--to a degree where he has actively decided and even stated out loud that he'll die with him if it comes down to that.

That's why he's not happy or relieved (at least not visibly) to hear this, as much as being Gon's most important person is what he wants--to hear this at this point is a tremendously scary thing. He just broke down sobbing on the ground because he feels so helpless to do anything for Gon. This is what he needed to hear, and it's true as well, but it puts him a position of great responsibility towards someone he loves more than anything. He was previously directly told by someone he respects that he'll eventually leave Gon to die, which just adds extra fuel to the situation.

I do think both of your other ideas are things that contribute to Killua's state to a degree, but they're not the primary driving force of his reaction in this scene specifically. The situation with Palm and Gon did certainly destabilize his sense of his role in Gon's life (because he desperately wants to be Gon's most important person and, it's heavily hinted, his romantic partner) and that's why he's so fixated on whether Gon wants him at his side as his friend or his teammate. Hearing this from Palm is deeply meaningful for Killua--he even thanks her for it later (he doesn't specify what it's for, but it's obvious)--but again the timing is what makes it difficult for Killua to hear.

On your third point, I do think Killua also realizes as a result of what happens in Chimera Ant Arc that the dynamic between him and Gon can't continue as it has, hence the separation, but in this scene the situation is too urgent for him to be thinking deeply about future situations beyond the life-or-death one he and Gon are currently in. The pressure on him is absolutely a factor, though.

I hope that helps clarify this important scene for you!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon #killua #palm #killugon #gonkillu #asks #anonymous #my posts #meta #I'm glad to be back writing meta after a very busy couple of weeks!!

[corvidares]

okay, so i just finished re-reading Any Way the Wind Blows and this feels so blatant as to be smacking me in the face: simon is disabled.

now, the reason why that makes itself even clearer in this book than in wayward son (where he, of course, also has the wings + tail) is because simon is once again in the world of mages - despite doing his best to leave it behind. compared to wayward son, where hes basically and literally in the wild west. where theres magical beings everywhere, where simon practically fits in because he is one.

but ill get back to that.

ive seen a lot of really interesting points about what simon's wings represent and mean, and i'm not disagreeing with those. but in a very literal sense, they are a disability.

think about it like this: the world of mages (and Normals) is not built for humanoids who have giant webbed wings and a tail. simon constantly struggles with controlling these limbs, and their size makes it ten times harder. spaces are too small, furniture and objects are broken when he spreads them, and many a shirt or jacket are ruined.

he struggles to find a good way to deal with this - spell them away? wear them out by cutting holes in things? fold them extremely painfully into his shirt? even though this last one is treated like a solution for a little while, its far from ideal. who is simon doing this for? himself, or everyone around him? yes, of course Normals cant see them. and yeah, hes expressed discomfort about baz and penny spelling them hidden. but thats not the point. even with this botch job of a way to "wear" his wings, which succeeds at hiding them from Normals, simon still states a couple times that he knows people stare at him and his seeming hunchback. i mean, thats blatant.

(he eventually, with shepard's help, realizes a good way to work around this - zippers or buckles on shirtbacks - which very much feels like an aha! disability aid moment)

im not saying disability is based in how people look at you, or it only being a societal thing. (as in, when he wasnt in the world of mages, he wasnt suddenly 'not disabled at all') disability is a huge spectrum. but those things absolutely can be a part of the disabled experience.

but all of that doesnt even get to my main point: simon has no magic anymore. and in the world of mages, thats a huge deal. magic is like living and breathing, especially for baz and penny. its not something they question or have to worry about not being able to call upon. hell, even before simon lost his magic he was disabled, just to a different extent.

before awtwb, we dont hear much about mages whose magic is weak. but they come to the forefront now - which just solidifies that solid magical ability = able bodiedness.

smith is promising a miracle cure. a cure. think of it like bullshit orgs such as aut!sm spe@ks, wanting to "cure" autism - he wants to cure people. (and hes just as full of shit) why? because weak magic is seen as a disease, a problem, even subhuman.

take daphne, baz's stepmom. her quality of life is fine, great. her weaker magic doesnt seem to put her at a disadvantage. she manages her disability well. but in comparison to the norm, to what is expected of the average mage, shes got nothing. less than nothing. she feels shame over what she cant do.

smith's case becomes even more blatant when we see, at the end of awtwb, that he wants to essentially cull weak magicians. that they're holding back society. that theyre better off as powerless as Normals - who are blatantly seen as subhuman - than as weak mages. much like how ableist rhetoric puts forward that disability is a fate worse than death.

which brings us back to simon. he insists hes a Normal, now or always has been. baz insists hes the most powerful magician to exist. both of them are wrong.

and right. and right and wrong.

simon is some third thing - not a mage, not a Normal. akin to how disability is its own minority aside from race or ethnicity he has a foot in each world, and he always has. but now he cant achieve blending into either.

this is why the increasing presence and humanization of other magical beings beside mages is so important (thank you shephard!) how mages tend to seem magical beings is very ableist. theyre subhuman, theyre not to be trusted, theyre freaks, theyre dirty, etc. except oops, how can you keep thinking that penny, when this very nice one works at a cafe and helped you translate shephard's engagement terms?

even baz and the events of wayward son play into this - yeah, some vampires are horrible people. but plenty, like baz, are just people. with a range of experiences and morals and ways of living life. (take nicodemus) (i could make a point about how simon's stalwart acceptance of baz's vampirism helps baz comes to terms with it and how this is also super disability coded, but thats another essay)

in the beginning of awtwb, he decides to go to the extreme opposite of his chosen one powered life - to live as a Normal, and the second step (after cutting himself off from baz and penny) is getting his wings removed.

except he cant do it. and even having his wings touched is horribly uncomfortable. now, this partly has to do with how much theyre sensual parts of his body - same as his tail. but its also, separately, very intimate. theyre treated very clinically, like a fascinating specimen to pore over. im not trying to give niamh shit here, just saying what i saw.

but theyre part of him. people with disabilities often deal with being stared at and poked and prodded by the medical field (if theyre not ignored or waved off. maybe both.). even every day folks feel the right to touch disabled folks, or their mobility aids.

for a lot of people, mobility aids are a part of them - its like a stranger touching your face and thinking theyre doing you a favor. when instead theyre being weird as fuck.

simon's status as previous chosen one even plays into this sort of thing - people see him more as a figurehead, for what he can and cant do (including his wings!) than a person. hes a tragedy, hes a hero. hes inspirational, hes to be pitied. sound familiar?

the end of awtwb doesnt spell out whether simon ends up deciding to keep his wings (frustratingly). but they spell out that he would absolutely would, in my opinion.

simon increasingly treats them as a natural extension of his body. think of the scene where he flies about the watford goats. how he expresses his feelings with his wings and tail. and of course, how he learns to let baz loves each and every part of him: including his dragon limbs.

baz loves him, and loves them, not in a fetishistic way, but because its simon, and he loves everything simon is. not just what he represents or can or cant do.

#carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #simon snow #simon snow trilogy #baz pitch #awtwb #snowbaz #its there man okay its about disabled love. disabled4disabled #corvi caws #DO YOU SEE MY VISION? DO YOU SEE IT?????? #theres probably more i wrote this in one sitting #also a disclaimer: i am not physically disabled. if ive said something thats a big nono please let me know and i will edit or delete - #accordingly. and by that i mean if a /disabled person/ tells me i said something inappropriate #also im not saying this was rainbow's intention. i have no idea if it was. itd be kinda wild if it /wasnt/ to any extent tho #im aware its like. iffy to say nonhuman creatures are an allegory for disability #it definitely IS iffy #which is why im not sure if rainbow meant it that way. or should have done that #but it does read like that #and rainbow drives home that theyre ALSO people #so like idk. its complicated #regardless simon is disabled ill die on that hill #im shocked no one else has written this essay btw #maybe someone has but i didnt find it #IF someone has link it to me i want to put it in my mouth

[daydreamycrustacean]

you cant just threaten me with narrative parallels to big boss and not deliver. i need this

AHEHEHEE....( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Ive spent all noon going insane over char and ive listened 3 times to beyond the time, so you chose the perfect time for this.... Okay. so basically,

meme comic aside, here's a more structured and elaborated version of these points, taken from something that I wrote in my notes app at 2 am, plus some other points. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Im not good at putting my thoughts into words.

----------------------

-they are both soldiers who end up being idolized and turned into a symbol. this idolization makes people want them to be in a position of leadership.

-being better known for their nom de guerre, "the red comet/char aznable" (which also counts as this, since it's a fake name tied to his identity in the one-year war) and "big boss", adds to this idealization, and with it also comes depersonalization, as their identity becomes just an image of a war hero that exists in peoples heads. a legend, rather than a real person.

-the artificiality of this legend is brought home in the way that it is taken, replicated, and put into other people, showing that anyone can be "the red comet" or "big boss". that's right baby. clones! Be it The Patriots making supersoldier clones of big boss for war purposes or Sunrise making Char after Char for anime purposes. But Char does also have actual in-universe clones???

-And also phantoms... the much clearer example of the artificiality of these legends/identities. I don't know anything abt Gundam Unicorn and so the only things I know abt Full Frontal are from the wiki. but he's just Venom Snake. Hey, what if we took this random guy and altered his appearance and mind to be the red comet/big boss?

-Okay its time to talk about The Boss and Zeon Deikun. Their deaths turn them both into symbols that represent the ideals that they preached. Ideals that everyone else takes and misinterprets for their own purposes. Their deaths also kickstart Big Boss and Char´s...everything. In a way, both Big Boss and Char dedicate their lives fighting for the ideals that their mother/father represented. Are they any good at this? Or are they yet another person taking these ideals and twisting them beyond recognition? Let´s say that´s up for debate.

-"So both Char and Big Boss ended up being idolized just like The Boss and Zeon Deikun? Even though it's something that they did not want and tried to avoid?" YES! Unavoidable fate. Repeating mistakes of the past...Sins of the Father... one of the key themes of Metal Gear. THE theme of metal gear. Big Boss more consciously tried to avoid the fate of The Boss by leaving the US military and hated being seen as a hero/called Big Boss because of The Boss. Char never outright states that the reason he does not want leadership is because he does not want to suffer his father´s fate...but his choice of accepting leadership is tied into his father´s fate nonetheless, with "Maybe human sacrifices run in your family" and Char casting himself as that human sacrifice in Char´s Counterattack. Is the reason as to why thinking about Char makes me so insane because his narrative of not being able to escape his father´s shadow taps into one of Metal Gears main themes? who knows...

-I said that Char´s "The Boss" figure is Zeon Deikun...but I think Lalah is the emotional aspect of this. She is the more clear Mother Figure whose death scars and haunts Char the way The Boss haunts Big Boss. Yes, Char also lost his real mom when young but shes not as important as Lalah.

-They just miss their mom bro :(

-cue millions of jokes about Oedipus complexes (more prevalent in the gundam fandom. for some reason.)...not gonna comment on this but they are there. and I can't ignore it if I'm talking abt comparisons between them.

-Okay, mothers/fathers talk aside. Their relationship to war and conflict. Not much else to say that I didn't say in the image. Its all they know and and all they think themselves capable of. Though thinking about their similarities on this did remind me of something that Beltorchika said in Zeta about Char, about how she thinks he's someone who is incapable of living without war and how definitely similar things are directly said about big boss in metal gear. there's more to this and about whether this is true and why...but my eyes are starting to hurt. I need to finish this.

-Lets go back to leadership. despite the fact that they both do not initially want this position of power, they do eventually give into it to help soldiers/Spacenoids respectively. Big Boss wants soldiers to not be used by governments like he was used (but he does end up using them nonetheless. oops) and Char wants Spacenoid independence from the Federation, although Char´s motivations in cca are more complex than just this, I do believe part of him does genuinely see helping spacenoids as his "duty" and something he needs to sacrifice himself for.Okay that was my last big point. finally this is done. more stuff:

-the_man_who_sold_the_world.mp3

-I don't know. all war criminals know these days is be bisexual and lie. <- all there is to say abt their heavy homoerotic subtext. which yes they also both individually have. although big boss´ is stronger bc he's in metal gear. I also can't ignore it. It's still a character aspect.

-forgot abt Quess...use of child soldiers ig. awesome.

#should i maintag this...hm. no. #i dont wanna know how many times i said the word ``identity`` in this... #what can I say its what They Are About #anon...thank you for indulging me in my insanity...good god i actually ended up writing a lot #i cant imagine anyone alse that might be interested in this...

[pianapplez]

Hello there 👋👀,

So I just found your blog and had a lot of fun scrolling through all the pjo show crit😂 I couldn't help but notice that one tag you left on a post where you said you had some beef with Annabeth's portrayal in the books 👀 Would you mind elaborating on that if you're comfortable with it🙈? Because I absolutely share that sentiment, but it's sooo veeeery rare that I see other people express anything like it... I've found that trying to be a part of the fandom can be pretty alienating most of the time, if you're not exactly the biggest most devoted Percabeth shipper...😅 And often any criticism leveled at Annabeth just gets you a smack with the "internalized-misogyny" hammer... it's even worse in the tv show now due to... obvious reasons...

Again just if you're comfortable with answering of course🙈 There is a reason I stayed on anon after all...😅😂

Really glad you asked because i finally get to ramble about this heheheh (going forward, know that i skimmed over The Last Olympian to have a clearer sense of what I meant because that's the book where Rick fumbles her character more than the others)

i'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible but short answer would be, she's underdeveloped. Long answer:

She really got on my nerves in the last two books, with the whole Rachel debacle and then the Battle of New York. I can't really remember a single moment in those books where she and Percy aren't bickering or having heated discussions, which really made me question their friendship status. Of course, it's not like friends can't fight and it obviously builds up the (romantic) tension between them, but it got unbearable at one point.

I understand she's a teenager in an incredibly stressful situation that didn't even get to have a normal upbringing- she grew up way too fast (run away at 7, head counselor at 12) while also not really maturing, which is not a problem for a character, if it is handled properly. Given the fact that I am writing this, Riordan did not.

On the surface, my biggest beef is that Annabeth is not exactly held accountable for her actions (ie. treating Rachel a bit like shit and going off on Percy for a bunch of stuff.) I know Percy is to blame a bit here: as far as we know, in TLO he basically cuts the greek world out of his life as much as he can as a coping mechanism. And while yes, he never apologizes either, he doesn't give her nearly half the hard time she gives him: always either giving him the cold shoulder (there must be at least one example of this in the entire series but i cant be bothered to look it up sorry) or starting an argument only to then storm off (see the "you're a coward, Percy Jackson!" scene, which is not the fairest example since she was confronting Percy about ignoring camp but also was a bit too harsh about it) (especially after finally reading the prophecy and being under the impression that he was absolutely going to die when he turned 16 lmao) or just straight up storming off (see, Annabeth reacting when Rachel shows up for the first time during the battle of new york). While most of these feel, at least to some degree, fairly justified given how the entire situation does an absolute number on her emotions, she comes off a bit brattish and like she's trying to rile Percy up, especially when it comes to Rachel, which in the context of a battle that could mean the destruction of the world.... Well, it reads as a bit childish to me, and i wouldn't exactly have that much of a problem with it if it was dealt with in some way (a two-way apology would be nice).

After that first impression, i realized that Annabeth is barely ever anything else other than a plot device (when relating to Luke) or a love interest (when relating to Percy). This might be because the books are on Percy's POV. Hell, on the third book he's even conflicted when Annabeth is considering joining the Hunters of Artemis, aka, when making a choice for herself would mean he loses her (which is fine and dandy but it feels like Percy is more upset about her choosing her own path rather than being sad about not seeing her as often); we really only get a few glimpses of her, as in, actually her when she's on her own.

Obviously it's impossible to talk about Annabeth without touching on percabeth, which also is, in my opinion, what hinders Annabeth's character the most. On paper they sound great. The guy whose fatal flaw is loyalty falls in love with a girl whose been let down by people over and over, and she decides to never give up on the boy whose always had people give up on him (can't find one of the million posts that talks about this right now but it always goes something like that) And yeah, the bickering is really well written! But that's literally as far as it ever goes: they don't ever seem to have fun together, because 8 times out of 10 the bickering ends up being passive aggressive, and mostly done by Annabeth. My biggest gripe about percabeth is that their friendship seems to be based off... shared trauma. Literally. Other than going on quests together we are given no examples of them hanging out, nor a reason why they would want to spend time together in the first place, not even a shared hobby. Yes, in the fourth book they had a movie "date" planned but of course they didn't even get to it, and surprise surprise, they had a minor discussion, and surprise surprise, Annabeth was passive aggressive again. It's hard to picture them having fun together when even the author doesn't write in any scenes in which they get along smoothly (and before you say anything, a scene in which they get along where neither of them is about to die, and they're not talking about previous adventures. Gets a bit hard then, doesn't it?) It's even harder to picture them as a couple when the moment she gets upset about something, she starts coming off as emotionally manipulative (see, again, literally any conversation with Rachel or about Rachel)

To be fair, the books are relatively short and don't allow many "filler" chapters, if you will; there's always something happening to keep the main plot or a minor plot point moving forward, but it's not like there is no room to develop the characters' relationships, especially when we're talking about the main char and what is essentially his endgame. As an example we have Percy and Clarisse, or Percy and Beckendorf. Their interactions are brief but still hold so much weight.

Worst of all, Annabeth could be one hell of a character; what's most interesting of all is how being a daughter of Athena she is still incredibly emotionally driven, which is displayed very clearly with her fatal flaw being pride: her telling the Sphynx that her questions were too easy was not smart nor strategic: it was completely impulsive. I seriously think she wasn't far from being the best character in the series had she been given more time.

I guess i have as much beef with Annabeth as i have with Rick for doing her dirty. I really could sum this up with: while her emotions are justified, she acts upon them quite poorly. And this is what i mean when i say she's underdeveloped, because it would've been nice to see her come to her senses a bit.

Would love to read anyone's opinions on her character though, feel free to comment, even (or especially) if you don't agree with me!

#pjo crit #anti percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #tbotl #pjo tlo #the last olympian #percy jackson and the olympians #congrats anon on being my first ask!!! #sorry if it's too long or rambly i just have so many thoughts about her. #i dont hate her i dont even dislike her im just conflicted about her. sad that half of her conflict was being jealous over a boy #like yeah i guess said boy was the first real friend she ever had but also rick wrote it in a very “girls fighting over boy” kind of way #didn't really write it to make it seem like annabeth's reasons were anything more than just a hormonal teen acting out. there were no layer #sometimes i feel like im being unfair to annabeth and that maybe her being emotional and mean sometimes is her character and #she's actually written well and i just don't like her? but then i think over it and im not ready to give rick that kind of credit lmao #i truly believe he wrote her beef with rachel to entertain middle graders without really thinking twice about it #annabeth adds to the drama with her passive aggressive comments but at what cost.... maybe im reading too much into it idk #maybe i just find boy drama annoying.. #but making it so that rachel is bound to maidenhood was such a lazy way to get rid of her as a romantic interest #the way rick butchered her character and any char dev for any of them in the tv show by rushing so many things... god. that's another story #if there are any typos i'll edit them later but my eyes are dry af right now and its late jdsjdfh anyway i hope my takes were interesting? #maybe i don't have that much beef with annabeth herself but the fact that percabeth is seen as the best endgame couple when i don't see it

[bluetortoist]

any more alice facts? i really like your take on her!!

Of course! They're a bit lengthy. But these are just a few thoughts that I've had about her on some days.

Other than her chemistry fixation in her youth, Alice's other hobbies were insect taxidermy, a hobby she got from her adoptive mother. She liked to mount and frame butterflies and moths more than any other species. She still has a few hanging up on her room walls.

She picked up a bit of poetry in her adult, pre-Alice years and took up writing a bit of her own. She has never shared these older poems however, because she made them as a ways to vent and is full of abstract and pretty frustrating, lonely thoughts. Now her poems are very surreal and chaotic, but with a sense of innocent curiosity to them.

Alice learned self defense ever since moving to Gotham, but she learned how to use a gun from her ex boyfriend. She doesn't really use one in any of her weapons, but she knows how to use one if the need ever arises.

At some point in their life, Alice would get a pet as a gift from Jervis, which later on becomes like a companion that helps her in plans. I cant decide which one atm, but it would either be a white rabbit (a typical American White) named Jasper OR a cat (a brown british shorthair), whom she'd also name Dinah.

Alice has more than one dress in many different colors, but she would always say that the yellow dress was just the one that spoke to her the most. The yellow dress was inspired both by the first colored versions of Tenniel's "Nursery Alice" illustrations AND by the 1999 Alice in Wonderland movie (one of my fave adaptations btw) 💙

Other than making things bigger and smaller, Alice has also made other early formulas for personal interest, like being able to change the natural taste and smell of things, eyedrops that form an outer coat that helps see twice as clearer and protects around foreign bodies like water, sand, dirt, etc, and even a temporary outer layer of skin like armor inspired by the exoskeleton of bugs, among other things. But, as you can guess, those things never really got far off the ground or approved of by her higherups.

And that's all I got about Alice specifically so far! Thank you for the ask, hope you enjoy! 💙

#dc #batman #btas #btas oc #batman tas #batman tas oc #jervis tetch #mad hatter #tortoist answers

[spongeknife]

An Idea That Would've Helped Me Process My System Better (also hello i haven't posted in a while)

TL;DR IF YOU CANT READ THROUGH If your system is in recovery and feels as though everyone's just becoming defensive/closed off, it may be (partially) because of phrasing when discussing different alters, as an alter may not feel truly supported or connected to the challenges you guy's face. This is about recovery and specifically about when trying to process a system through a third party (in my examples I use medical professionals - MP, but this could include anyone) When I was first open to getting support for my system, I remember being told in many different ways that "an(y) alter HAD a purpose, but don't necessarily have that same purpose now - so let's try to help them change their behaviors" WHICH is a lot easier said than done, right? But, I also didn't have the experience to fully understand what that means or how to support any alters into participating so a lot of helpful advice wasn't usable. SO, I felt frustrated and mostly like I was stuck banging my head against a wall to get the system to a better place. AND the entire system was feeling generally tense because everybody felt vindicated by each other. Alter(s) with an "older purpose" felt they were underappreciated, especially, and were looping back to not wanting to seek support. I started to see the bigger problem (and picture) when I was able to understand why some of the alters felt they were not being taken seriously. And that the wording MPs were using weren't very empathetic. Most of the time, when referencing these alters, words like "useful and not useful", "purposeful and not purposeful", and "help and unhelpful" were used. Along with this, sessions about those alters talked about how they needed to change now, or how they didn't have a "function" now (or their function wasn't good/beneficial). When the system started to change phrasing, and started to change wording to be more understanding of experiences/characteristics we couldn't understand, the alters were more willing to work and communicate as a cohesive unit. If you're a system who's trying to recover but can't seem to get past a communication stage, I would try becoming less goal-oriented and more process-oriented. We have done this by: -creating reaction trees to help think out harmful actions [goal/motive -> actions to achieve motive -> intended consequences AND unintended consequences -> was original goal achieved? -> ideas for different actions to have the same goal that could be used instead] is an example we use -doing venn diagrams of how someone feels about the alter/action vs how the alter feels/thinks about the action (with a similarity bubble to see what things are in common) -taking ANY (genuine/reasonable) feedback from the alter being discussed, even if it's just a paper with angry scribbles (feedback shows an awareness of communication, and can be worked on to become clearer later - it shows a first step) I'm not quite sure if this will help anyone, but when I think back to the start of my recovery I remember being told what NOT to do, but not really being told what better examples could look like. In any case, of course advice or anything will vary from system to system, and what worked for me may not work for you. This is just a generalized idea if you're not sure where to start and don't think this will do any harm to try (if you're unsafe or not ready, please follow your best judgement on what to do). I also mostly say this because I was seeing this kind of thing on a lot of system recovery pages (Not just on tumblr, but on other websites as well), and I think for some people it's not really important (phrasing may not be a big deal), but I feel for some systems this may help/make more sense. (also please know my intent is well even if I worded things a little weird or rambled a bit, I don't really want discourse or anything about this, i just am not very good at communicating my thoughts)

#did #alters #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #did system #actually did #actually osdd #recovery #system tips #system stuff #system recovery #trauma work #i hope this makes sense #if you read through until the end you deserve a gold star #also this is pretty hyperspecific so sorry to nonsystem mutuals who follow me lol #tbf if you want to support someone you could probably still use this

[easy-revenge]

Do you think that Aki saw Himeno as a sister or just a friend and never more than that?

here's me challenging myself again bc for the life of me i cant comprehend what aki hayakawa is feeling half the time.

short answer to your question: no.

what did he see her as instead? im nowhere near a coherent and clear answer.

I'll tell u what i do know. we see aki forming loads of different relationships with ppl in chainsaw man. some of them clearer in their nature than others.

let's look at power and denji for example. family. that's an easy one. aki took on the role of the "guardian" at first, somewhat begrudgingly, but it very quickly got reshaped into him being their big brother.

i think seeing this relationship from a lot of different angles is enough to show that he most likely didn't view himeno as his sister.

in his brotherly role, he's very protective. with himeno, even though they were always saving each other, you could feel that their dynamic let him be vulnerable around her too.

he'd allow himself to be protected by her. he'd ask her permission to use the sword. he'd follow her lead and trust her judgement.

equals. even though she ranked higher than him, the mutual respect and trust between them made them feel like a team.

i think there's too many layers to their relationship for me to try and define it. if it's not familial love, is it a bond built around their respect and history as buddies? doesn't really cover all the bases. then is it friendship?

once again, im not sure. have we seen aki having any friends really? is it a coincidence that the two ppl that were somewhat marketed to be his friends are people who either are canonly in love with him or implied to be as such?

is it a coincidence that aki tends to display behavior that can be read as having romantic undertones as well? that he willingly gave years off his lifespan to save both himeno and angel without a second thought?

the answer to that is no, it's not. it's because these characters are way too complex and have a lot of trauma under their belt to navigate through relationships as the average human being.

aki has experienced a lot of loss. he's dishonest with the ppl around him and with his own feelings. he pushes people away to focus on his goal, but keeps making choices that contradict that way of living.

he's stumbling around this duality, almost as if he's in limbo. he's not letting himself have what he wants in the present. he's not giving people what they want from him. he's not dedicated enough to progress towards his goal.

and what does aki want in the present? my guess is: to be close to people. aside from wanting a family, to fulfil the role he missed out on, to get a redo of being a big brother and not mess it up, he wants ppl close in every sense.

that's why when his mask slips up, you can see how wholeheartedly he gives himself over to people.

he breaks around himeno a couple of times, letting his need for her slip through the cracks. he lets her touch him, cuddle him, light his cigarettes. he reciprocates, if a bit more hesitantly, stealing that cigarette standing just a tad too close.

is that attraction? or is it aki letting himself get the closeness he craves bc he knows he can? he knows he's allowed to bc himeno wants him there?

aki has to know himeno has feelings for him, at least in the back of his mind. does that keep him from getting even closer to her in fear of leading her on? would he want to get closer if makima wasn't forcefully pulling his attention to her? more questions i cant answer.

but looking at his relationship with angel as well, aki does follow this pattern. he's again putting up an act. he can't get along with angel, they are like natural enemies.

then the fear of loss creeps in and boom, he breaks. gives up his lifespan and pulls angel against his chest. it's like drawing the curse's sword all over again. he yells at angel for almost dying and nestles his face against angel's hair, holding him tight.

it's this type of behavior that leads me to believe that this is something that aki is deprived of. the closeness, the intimacy, someone to hold and maybe grasp onto. its something he's always needed and kept keeping himself away from.

is it love? is it friendship? is it response to unresolved trauma? a mix of the three? you tell me.

the fact that at no point throughout his storyline does aki have full control of himself also gets me. even if i was to speculate about the type of feelings he has for each person in his life, i know there's someone else ultimately pulling the strings in his brain. and that's a factor I can't break down and take into consideration.

so this is all i can give u by rubbing my two braincells together and not venturing too much into headcanon territory.

istg the inner workings of aki's mind literally keep me up at night.

#answered #akimeno #akiangel #aki hayakawa analysis #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa #himeno #chainsaw man spoilers

[agentrouka-blog]

I like your coma theory. Tbh since we know so little about the first men and warging and northern magic i just feel like jon's death is placed perfectly adjacent to bran's storyline to help explain it? So i feel like it'll be in the vein of that but as to what, why, when, or how he comes back i just cant make myself commit to any theory. If that makes sense at all.

It makes perfect sense! 😁 I also don't feel commited to a specific scenario within that framework.

If Bran and Varamyr and even Jon's own warg dreams are anything to go by, Jon will have significant dreams and memories alongside his warging experiences inside Ghost, potentially connect to the other direwolves, and eventually be prompted into waking up inside his somewhat healed body, by something specific. Either an outside change or an inner decision. Bran might contact him like he has before at the Frost Fangs.

Significant dreams in the books tend to revolve around the past and the characters' hidden anxieties and trauma. Bran's dream was guided by the three-eyed crow but he had to be prevented from focusing on the memory of Jaime and the tower. Ned dreamed of the Tower of Joy, Jaime dreamed of the caves beneath Casterly Rock and his mother, Varamyr dreamed of his childhood of alienation and fratricide, Tyrion dreamed of Tysha, Cersei dreamed of Maggy, Dany dreamed of running toward the red door while transforming into a dragon, and later of fighting on dragonback at the Trident.

Jon has dreamed of the Winterfell crypts before, and he worked through his anxiety around letting the wildlings pass through the Wall in a dream, as well. He dreamed while injured after escaping Ygritte. A lot of Jon's true feelings are much clearer in dreams than they are in his own head, and if nothing else, I think his emotional turmoil and the subsequent realignment toward a new reality are going to be the real point of this stage in his arc. It marks the break from his commitment to the Watch and will likely give us further insight in the parts of himself he had left behind to make that commitment in the first place. With some vague hints as to why his magical survival is necessary - and that's likely not going to be "He is the Chosen One" but something more along the lines of "he has this specific role to play to make it all line up perfectly for Bran". The same way he needed to be Lord Commander so the Raven Incident happened.

#jon snow #resurrection theory #asoiaf speculation #dreams

[raveneira]

The reason I dont believe KawaSara and BoruSumi are dead yet

Im gonna show you a few pages, pay close attention

Notice anything consistent? if your answer is all 3 girls shown had their feelings explicitly expressed and confirmed by their own mouths and also third parties then you are correct.

Sumire’s feelings were confirmed by herself as well as Kawaki and Katasuke

Chocho’s feelings were confirmed by herself

Ada’s feelings were confirmed by herself, Code, and Shikamaru

Yet when you look at Sarada...theres zero confirmation of any kind neither by herself or anyone else.

I’ll elaborate, the question is asked but never answered, the topic is brought up but never addressed, Sarada will react but always deny or avoid not in a ‘omg I cant let my feelings be exposed’ way but in a ‘omg I really dont wanna talk about this right now’ way.

Ikemoto has confirmed 3 girls one sided feelings, so whats holding him back from doing the same for Sarada? ask yourself, what does he have to lose? BoruSara is the most popular ship so he would have more ppl celebrating him than he would hating him so theres no fear of major backlash if he did go all the way and confirm it so why not? its not like he couldnt still play the will they wont they game since Boruto’s feelings would still be unknown until the end so why not go for it? Ikemoto actually has far more to GAIN by making BoruSara semi canon than NOT so dont gimme that ‘hes just being careful and taking his time’ crap, that’d only fly if BoruSara was an extremely small ship with a very small fanbase which it isnt, so if theres any fandom he’d wanna commit to it’d be them.

So why hasnt he? what reason does he possibly have to hold back if this is truly the intended endgame? because it’ll be too obvious? so what, like I said BoruSara is the biggest fanbase so what harm does that do? you think Ikemoto is really gonna be THAT hurt by losing KawaSara, BoruSumi, MitsuSara, and BoruMitsu fans? hell no, same way Kishimoto wasnt hurt by losing NaruSaku, SasuHina, SasuKarin, and SasuNaru fans, that SasuSaku and NaruHina money was more than enough.

So I ask you again, WHY hold back when he has literally NOTHING to lose but EVERYTHING to gain? the answer is pretty obvious.

The only reason Ikemoto would be holding back is if he doesnt intend for BoruSara to be endgame, the only reason you would ever hold back to this extent but not on anything else is if you dont plan on making it a thing to begin with but you dont want to lose those supporters.

Let me put it this way, if Ikemoto catered to KawaSara and BoruSumi the ships he really wants canon and neglected BoruSara, what do you think is gonna happen? if you’ve seen any BoruSara fans statements you know they consider KawaSara and BoruSumi happening as ruining the series and feel that Kishimoto is ‘fixing’ his mistakes he made in Naruto [SS/NH canon] by making BoruSara canon [basically NS as it rightfully should’ve been in their opinion] and that doing otherwise will ruin Sarada and the series entirely [sounds familiar right?]

So what do you thinks gonna happen if Ikemoto made it clearer that KawaSara and BoruSumi were endgame and pushed Boruto and Sarada as just friends? obviously BoruSara fans, the biggest fanbase, will be furious with him and the backlash will be enormous, he’ll lose support, money, and the viewership will plummet drastically even more than they have already making it far more likely to get axed prematurely.

So what do you think he does to avoid that? obviously he caters to that fanbase, gives them little winks and nudges, just enough content to keep BoruSara fans hopeful and still reading, but refuse to give concrete confirmation from either side, and why do you think that is? because he has something else in mind.

For the record Im not saying I know for a fact KawaSara and BoruSumi are endgame, no I dont, Im saying if he IS planning on making them endgame then him avoiding confirming neither Boruto nor Sarada’s feelings but just keep teasing the possibility makes perfect sense.

He cant risk pissing off that fanbase because it’ll be a huge loss if he loses those viewers, so he gives them just enough to keep them around but never commits which makes no sense if BoruSara is endgame because he’d gain way more by confirming it than not, so the fact that he isnt just screams baiting until he’s ready to reveal his real endgame when he has nothing to lose.

So thats why I dont believe KawaSara and BoruSumi are dead yet, because the fact that Ikemoto wont commit to making BoruSara semi canon just screams bait and unlike them Im not fallin for it.

If Ikemoto eventually commits and confirms them semi canon I will say GGs then, but until then Im not takin the bait and remaining open minded until then.

#boruto manga #manga spoilers #pro kawasara #pro borusumi #anti-borusara #anti-bsa #anti borusara

[argentsunshine]

anon with the add on back :

yeah, now that you explain it does make a bit more sense but it. just hurts because whereas they acknowledged yusuke blantantly lying about madarame stealing his work, they seem to just completely kind of ignore akechi's warnings and that doesnt even make sense to me.. they dont even really acknowledge it, all because they dont know who he's working for until the last minute, and that doesnt make sense to me at all. but ty for taking ur time to ramble: i actually do it myself a lot, and i have so many thoughts abt so many things that i'd like to explore more in depth but can't put in words myself .. i'd just wish theyd atleast acknowledge that akechi is being used the same way everyone else was instead of ignoring it, even if they still cant continue to aid him: it feels like they didnt try (to me), even with ryuji's ... hatred for him, i'd atleast think that ryuji would atleast try to acknowledge it and want to do something but being unable to instead of still being an ass, even if goro is one as well (and i think, speaking of mental illness, as someone with npd and aspd and avpd, goro has both symptoms of npd and aspd: futaba has symptoms of avpd, but thats a topic at a later time.) and i think goro's not truly being himself in 3rd sem when he's blunt and mean, that he's still constantly masking, as people with npd and or aspd do like myself, and he's tired of being nice on tv so he has to pull thin insults when in real life because as much as he masks, it gets annoying, and he (along with myself and many others) likely has low empathy and just thinks of others (especially those of ryuji's caliber, as much as i love ryuji and everyone else) as , well put, idiots, because they dont know as much as he does, and the fact that they know more than him in the metaverse has likely made him crash (his engine room was essentially an npd crash, i think), but them not knowing "basic information" (as my brain puts) likely gives him a narc high, which also leads to thinly veiled insults.. adding onto the npd goro akechi, i think akira is his ep (Equal Person-- people w/ npd hold them to high standards, higher than they hold for themselves, and expects them to challenge eachother-- essentially akechi's rivalry with akira.. in alternative, bpd akira tells me that akechi is his FP, but i can discuss that at a later time)

regardless, and apologizes for this long paragraph, tysm for responding because that does make things a little clearer, and no one's really talked to me about it before, so thank you :D

yeah, i absolutely get where you're coming from - although i think the statement "they're ignoring his warnings because they don't know who he's working for" has the flipside of "by the time those warnings are given, the thieves already know he's the black mask and is presumably being manipulated by someone, so he's not actually warning them about anything they don't already know"

but yeah, the only reason i don't think they should have reached out to him pre-engine room is that i don't know when in the story that would have been an option: their plan to find out who his boss was wouldn't have worked if they'd tipped him off to the fact that they knew he was the black mask, and after 11/20, he thinks Akira's dead, and i doubt he would gave listened to any of the others. i think Ryuji's treatment of him us also kind of a result of Ryuji's general main story characterisation - in game the vibe is very much that ryuji doesn't like him because he's popular and smarmy and talked shit about the thieves on live tv, rather than the fact that he's a murderer, but they don't let ryuji have complex takes on things in the story ever. now im thinking about their relationship in my palace au lmao. if i were to frame it in more. terms. idk. ryuji hates the detective prince. but akechi doesn't respect ryuji so ryuji has no reason to try harder

and on the npd/aspd front - I'm not super familiar with npd but i can absolutely see that (i think akechi has a bunch of obvious Mental Illness Symptoms that are common to a lot of things, which is why i think mentally ill bitches latch onto him no matter what's going on. people saying he has npd have always sounded right to me i think he's autistic also because -- well you heard what i said about unsympathetic symptoms of mental illness last time) but as someone who has some symptom overlap i think youre 100% right on stuff i know about. low empathy bitches rise up.

but yeah, i think a lot of stuff is kind of the result of the writers seeming constantly all over the place with him. i think it's especially bad in the section from 11/20 to the engine room, because while i think in royal there was some vision for who he was supposed to be, everything in vanilla is far more over the place, and in some cases vanilla's contradictory writing of him is made worse by its interactions with royal's akechi content. because 11/20 isn't designed to accommodate for the possibility that this guy could be your actual friend rather than a guy you've spoken to a few times turned tenuous ally turned traitor. i don't think akechi ever would have acted differently in a way that mattered, but the way the thieves talk about him is in line with his flatter villain characterisation in that period in vanilla. he's a terrible irredeemable evil person until just before he dies, and then he's a tragic victim to the point that in the shadow shido fight, they talk as if akechi wasn't responsible for any of his own actions, despite the fact that he was demonstrably doing it of his own free will. and then he dies and you're not supposed to care because he's a Bad Guy so they barely bring him up again in vanilla. all that rings a little strange with the royal stuff

anyway all this has got me thinking about the dynamics between akechi and the non-akira thieves. i should really keep writing my akira's palace fic

[menalez]

“HUH??? theres even straight women out there who arent finding sex with men pleasurable, why would a lesbian want to be with a man sexually to begin with? why would any lesbian have "no preference in sexual partners when they're horny" like ur basically saying lesbian boundaries fall apart once we're horny and that just.. doesnt make sense.... if u get horny for men and enjoy sex with men then thats a very blatant sign ur not a lesbian. when im horny i dont suddenly want to have sex with men bc men as a whole are entirely sexually undesirable to me. its not even a neutral act bc its directly me going against my desires & sexuality to do sth like that.”

I think you’ve maybe misunderstood my ask, because I’m on the same page as you on this topic. I do not see why lesbians (of all people!) would want to sleep with men, and I definitely do not think there’s a lot of lesbians having casual sex with men without any sort of pressure involved (like internalized homophobia or forced marriages/rape). My ask was kind of a response to the anon who talked about this topic (it was about her self proclaimed lesbian friend and things she’d read from lesbians online), and I was more or less contemplating the improbability.

I was being hypothetical and just thinking about whether or not it’s even possible to disregard sexuality without any feeling of unease. When I said there’s probably lesbians who do have willing sex with men, it was meant like “describe something, anything, you think is impossible, and there’s at least one person out there in the world who fits the bill”, and I did not mean at all that this is normal for lesbians, hence the “if we’re being hypothetical” that I wrote first thing in that paragraph. (I probably should have swapped out “lesbians out there” with “a lesbian out there” to make my point clearer…)

Also I did not intend to come off as saying that lesbians’ boundaries fall apart when horny — I do not think this at all. I wrote that because I was referencing the previous anon, who mentioned a lesbian friend sleeping with men when horny (paraphrasing: “not chasing it, but not minding it either”), and my point was “is that even possible? to sleep with someone you can never be sexually attracted to just bc you’re horny/they’re easily available/etc.? to not have boundaries in regards to sexual partners’ sex despite your sexuality? that can’t possibly be right?” — the same reaction as you — thus me mentioning various factors that can make lesbians “want to” sleep with men. That’s also why I mentioned early off that maybe there’s a lot more bi people than we think — because I think it sound very irrational to say that there’s lesbians who would sleep with men.

I probably should have worded my previous ask better, so I’m really sorry about that. What I wanted to get across was “it’s not possible for lesbians to sleep with men without there being some sort of internal/external pressure involved, but even if there is a lesbian (who may not even be lesbian) out in the world somewhere who does fit that bill, she will very much be an extreme outlier, and it would still be right to say that lesbians=don’t sleep with men willingly.”

ah thank you for clarifying, i thought you were perhaps debating that it’s possible and saying it could make sense but i wasn’t understanding how what u were saying would indicate that. honestly i cant even imagine that this 1 hypothetical extreme outlier lesbian even exists— like, what would even differentiate her from a bi woman? countless bi women strongly prefer women but don’t mind sex with men and can find men sexually pleasurable or consider men as sexual partners when horny enough. maybe a bad example but i used to watch this show called bad girls club & there’s this one woman who strongly proclaimed to being a lesbian. in one episode they’re in another country on some sort of vacation and she didn’t find a woman to hook up with so she finds a guy and hooks up with him in the bathroom and she says after “oh yup i’m totally a lesbian” (bear in mind this wasn’t even her first time with a man, she made it very clear she was just very horny and wanted to get laid) … anyways.. that woman ended up having a husband and kids and coming out as bi after a couple of years. like i just don’t see why any lesbian in the entire world would suddenly be horny for a man. like men themselves do nothing for us and we aren’t just like… neutral about men and could take it or leave it, we are actively totally unattracted to them. the only cases i can imagine are cases in which the lesbian in question has some serious mental issues or sth of the sort bc it absolutely is not normal nor logical to seek out sex with men when you’re not even attracted to them. when we’re horny, none of our desires will include men. it won’t suddenly make us find men attractive. we won’t suddenly desire penises or heterosexual sex. it’s just completely antithetical to our lesbianism. frankly i even find it hard to believe that any lesbian would be actually neutral about having sex with a man ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ very often the lesbians u talk to who claim they were neutral end up expressing visible disgust and discomfort and sometimes trauma symptoms like dissociation.

i think the far more likely scenario is there’s bi women with strong preferences who think bc their preferences for women are strong enough, bc they find men generally unappealing for some reason altho they obviously have exceptions to that (ie there’s some men they’d seek out and feel horny over) they think that this doesn’t count as opposite sex attraction & therefore they’re lesbians. and also the way i look at it on top of that is like.. if the term lesbian refers to women with certain qualities and traits, and you do not fit into that definition, then how can u even be an extreme outlier of the group? perhaps ur not a lesbian to begin with is all.

so, basically, i just don’t think it’s possible whatsoever even if we consider this as an extreme outlier.. that can only be an outlier if we take at face value this person claiming to be a lesbian while actively seeking out men and desiring men. but she’s not an outlier whatsoever when u consider the many bisexual women who are similar or have similar histories

[hoshi-y]

Hello there! Can I request Akane(male), Mitsuba, Kou, and Yashiro with a reader that is like Anya from spy x family?

A Reader that is like Anya from Spy x Family

genre : Fluff

characters : Mitsuba Sousuke, Minamoto Kou, Aoi Akane, Yashiro Nene

TW : None

A/N : Is this a sign that I should continue Spy x Fam, WAHAHAHA I haven't finished it yet

So, Her Personality :

- impressionable towards the people around her

- quite clever

- she has abandonment issues

- doesn't have good social skills

- severe lack of situational issues & common sense

- tends to be completely honest (too honest)

- Possess a kind and emphatic side

I just wrote that down so I can have a clearer idea HAHA

Troublemaker

You were so impressed about him keeping the title of top student for years now

But when you found out he was a half wonder

aha, This you didn't let it slide

You had a HUGE Interest with supernaturals

and schools 7 Mysteries you just had to know

So when you knew, You started following him around

WHATS HE GONNA DO??

Is he gonna bring out a big clock??

CAN HE STOP TIME?

So you started bombarding him with questions

"Akane Pleeaaassee—"

"For the Last time [F/N] I am not doing that."

But this wasn't the end of your investigation!

After school you'd notice he would always dissappear

So like any other totally not noisy person

You followed him

Buutt it didn't end pretty well

Almost got attacked by a supernatural

and a huge lecture from akane....

As Akane was finishing off the supernatural, You were planning your escape from his wrath

You did not want to deal with an angry Akane, Nope not today, Well it was also your fault for being so noisy at whatever he is doing afterschool..

Right before you could exit, he grabs you by the arm "[F/N]...." Tensing up a bit and slowly looking at him

He was glaring daggers at you—

"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't go here? It's dangerous! What if I hadn't come in on time that supernatural could've hurted you—" You disturbed him by hugging him tightly

"I'm sorry.. I won't do it again.." Looking up at him with slight tears in your eyes

Sighing softly he gently wipes off the tears in your eyes and kisses your forehead "You should, Other wise that would be extra work for me.. You are ome big troublemaker I hope you know that.. " He laughs as he teases you

"Lets get out of here.. Okay?" You nod and you two started heading back to wherever you entered from

Focus on something else

Your first time meeting with him was ehh, I guess not so great

Met him thru Kou!

And found out that he was one of the 7 wonders

You once tried to enter his boundary

Always get dragged out by friends...

Did he call them his friends? Ehh you'll know eventually

He would always say he was too cute to hurt anyone because of his rumor

But you were a bit 'too' honest

"Cute? You look more of a 4/10.." You said scratching your cheek with your pointer finger while you stared at a very stoned Mitsuba

"WHHAAATTT IM CUTE! CUTER THAN YOU!" He crossed his arms and heard a 'Hmp!' From him

He hates how TOO honest you are

You cant seem to lie, Always the truth

But yk, The cold truth is better than a warm lie

Aside from that, He loved your kind and warm nature

Also smart, But had poor social skills..

He once brought you to the broadcasting room

Introduced you to the gang

Ended up shaken as Tsukasa pinned you down for answers..

"hey! Hey! Are you Mitsubas S/O?!?" He said as he pinned you down making Natsuhiko panic

"O-oy! This isn't right Tsukasa get off of them!"

"No way they're so squishy!" He said as he hugged you tightly

Luckily Mitsuba entered and quickly dragged you away from Tsukasa's Touch, You a bit shaken as he pinned you down with no explanation whatsoever

"C-can you not pin anyone I bring in here down?! You scared them!" Petting your head as you were in the verge of tears already

Mitsuba would stick to while you were staying in the broadcasting room

Cause you can't seem to hold a decent conversation sometimes

But eventually warmed up

And really enjoyed your stay!

I guess Mitsubas plan to take your mind on something else rather than his boundary and him being a wonder worked

I'm here

He didn't know how severe your abandonment issues were

Actually he doesn't know about it at all

He soon found out about it when he asked you to hangout at this carnival

The area was new to you so you clinged onto him or stuck beside him

Played lots of games!

He even caught a fish for you ooo

Eventually you two got hungry

Decided to go for takoyaki

You were waiting in line

But Kou? Nah, He was about to walk up to you when the crowd started flooding in the food court

He didn't get the chance to tell you since he couldn't see where you were anymore

So he got swept away by the crowd without your knowledge

"Hmmm, We should go buy Fruit shakes later—" You turned around to ask him what he wants but he wasn't there

Looking around you, You couldn't see any messy blond hair anywhere

Where did he go?

You started walking all around the place hoping to atleast see him wandering around playing in the booths or just looking

But you couldn't find him anywhere, Your phone was dead so you couldn't call him

Did he leave you here? Or much worse did he abandoned you here... What if he got kidnapped—

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand gently placed on your shoulder "there you are! I was looking all ov—" You turned around and hugged him

"Where did you go?.. I thought something bad happened to you.." Yoy mumbled, Still a bit shaken on what had happened earlier

He patted your head in jopes that it will calm you down "Hey.. Don't worry now.. I'm here.." He said, As soon as you calmed down, The two of you started to enjoy the rest of the day in the carnival

You think I'm pretty?..

She absolutely adored you!

She thinks you're very cute

and wants to get to know you

But you had poor social skills

meaning, You sometimes space out when she talks to you or tend to not reply

Kind of struggling to keep up the conversation

But that's alright! She made it her goal to help you feel comfortable around her!

Started with small talks turned into long conversations!

You surprised her when you started talking first

Ahhh So proud TT

"Nene-Chan, Can I ask you a question?" turning your head to face her as you put the watering can down on the desk

"sure [F/N]! You can ask me anything!" She said

Taking a deep breath you asked—

"Why.. Do you have.. Fat ankles? Do they hurt?" You asked starring at her legs

You've been curious about her legs for awhile now, It amazes you that a human body can be formed in different shapes

You look back up at her and she looked like she was about to break down "You think it's ugly huh?.." You shook you heard

"I think it's amazing that the human body can be formed into different shapes! Plus you look like of those chibis I see on anime" You told her

"AWWW, If only the guys I liked thought of me like that too.. They always say I have ugly daikon legs.."

"Mmm, You're pretty Nene, You don't need a guys validation on what they think about you! If they start commenting about your legs I don't think they are the one for you"

"You think I'm pretty?.." You nodded your head as she hugged you "WAAHHH [F/N] YOU'RE SO KIND"

A new profound confidence was boosted into our heroine Yashiro Nene that day, And she wants to thank you for that

This took me, A loongg time trying to write LMAO

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #tbhk x reader #jshk #jshk mitsuba #jshk akane #jshk kou #jshk nene #tbhk mitsuba #spy x family