#idk what I’m doing wrong but this is EXACTLY why I struggle with talking to people

[organized-chaotic-disaster]

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#personal #tw eating disorders #okay I really gotta sleep but like… I’m Thinking and like #so I reread something I wrote for school last year regarding eating disorders and #can we talk about like. the stuff no one ever talks about?? #as in #the desire for something to be wrong #or the competitiveness to be the most severe case #and massive feeling like shit when you can’t be that #like #basically what I’m getting at is #yes a lot of the time eating disorders are about body image and perfectionism and all that #but can we please like. delve deeper into the why of it all?? #like. god idk how exactly to word it right rn but like. there’s things about eating disorders that. no one talks about #and things I struggled with thinking I was awful because of it #but it turns out I’m not the only one!!!! #so can we PLEASE talk about that #ngl as someone who wants to go into psych research I’d really like to do some work to better understand this #because it’s massively misunderstood #like my prof I wrote that thing I said I reread told me she learned something from reading my paper #and like. ma’am I’m sorry but. based on the book I was writing about. it’s SO obvious #it’s SO obviously there!!!! #and this prof was a psychologist who treats people!!!! how does she not know this???? #maybe it IS only something people who’ve gone through it can understand #but like. idk man #I wanna delve deeper into this shit with research somehow #because I think it’s really really important that we do #so now adding that to the list of things I wanna contribute research to #queer studies childhood psych and now eating disorders diwnribrisnrk #oop I can’t add any more tags I hope that one tw tag was enough :’)

[koqabear]

love fool ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

♫: Seven, Jungkook // Lovefool, The Cardigans // I only want to be with you, Tommy february6

“In which Yeonjun is more than willing to show you the lengths he’ll go for you.”

yeonjun x fem!reader

Genre: established relationship, inspired by “Seven” mv, fluff, angst, smut

Word count: 10.6K

warnings: don’t take this story seriously pls. it’s ridiculous. yj is clingy. and emotional. and a bit pathetic. the mc is avoidant… and a bit of a bitch ! Lack of communication smh, a bit toxic if u squint ur eyes but it’s supposed to be cute idk (seven mv type toxic skdjdj) yj is a frat boy & a himbo (pick a struggle, pls), arguing, mc has acrylic nails, use of the phrase “boyfriend-girlfriend” bc i’m obsessed w it

smut warnings: mean dom!mc, sub!yj, (mentions of dom!yj) service top!yj, unprotected sex, manhandling (m. rec), hairpulling, name calling, (bitch, stupid, slut, etc) pet names (baby, good boy), dry humping, biting, marking, scent kink (?), scratching, dumbification, dacryphilia, forced orgasm (kinda), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, yj rambles. a lot. breast play, handjob, humiliation, creampie, subspace, implied oral (f. rec) (lemme know if i should add anything!)

Notes: fucking hate arguing with men w/ pretty puppy eyes like i will fuck the shit outta y-

Yeonjun hates when you’re mad at him. It makes him feel guilty and leaves him with a gross feeling in his stomach, pouty and annoying as his friends are always left to deal with the mess. 

It doesn’t happen often— he tries his hardest not to make you mad, always saying yes and going above and beyond with you— he loves to please you and make you happy, which is exactly why it hits harder when you look at him like you never want to see him again. 

“I don’t want to see you around, don’t talk to me!”

But sometimes, he just can’t help it. 

He seriously doesn’t know what he did wrong— there were no anniversaries forgotten, no plans he stood you up on, no petty arguments— and yet, here he sits, sinking into his couch and burrowed in blankets as his friends try to get him to come out of his cocoon, all with no success.

“Is she mad at you again?” Beomgyu asks, his voice muffled despite sitting on top of Yeonjun— literally, he couldn’t feel his legs— and he hears him groan at the sight of Yeonjun nodding under the mass of blankets, cursing quietly to himself and undoubtedly rolling his eyes, “dude, what did you do?”

“I don’t knowww,” Yeonjun cries out, throwing the blankets off him and onto Beomgyu as he whines— he watches as Beomgyu flails about for a second, running his hands through his hair as he continues to stress about you, “she— she said she didn’t wanna see me again, but I miss her…”

“Fuck, she’s probably just saying that because she wants space— dude, are you crying?”

“What if she was breaking up with me?” Yeonjun asks, and Beomgyu is amazed to see the way his wide eyes are welling up with tears; god, he’s actually crying now, the sight childish and unhinged as he watches his (older) friend sniffle and hiccup through his sentences, “what if— what if she— she, she, she really meant it— god, I don’t wanna break up, I don’t even know what I did wronggg!”

“Okay, okay,” Beomgyu grimaces, watching the way his friend breaks down before his eyes; his hand is stiff and awkward as it pats Yeonjun’s back, trying his best to comfort him, wincing at the way Yeonjun only cries harder, “It’s… probably nothing, I’m sure she’ll talk to you again tomorrow, or once she’s calmed down.”

“You think?” Yeonjun asks, peeking through his hands and up at Beomgyu with sparkling eyes, full of hope as Beomgyu can only crack a nervous smile.

“Yeah,” he says, patting Yeonjun’s back again in reassurance, “Yeah— just, be patient, okay?”

Patient is the last word one would use to describe Yeonjun. 

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

MONDAY

This is it. 

Yeonjun has been waiting all weekend for this moment (Or just Sunday, to be more accurate), restless on his feet as he finds himself pacing back and forth— he’s nibbling at his lip nervously, arms sore and tired from the weight of the gift he holds in his hands; a bouquet of your favorite flowers, pristine and in full bloom— it’s large and quite heavy as it practically covers his face, but Yeonjun knew that a small bouquet would do nothing to show his love for you. 

He would try to talk to you as soon as your class ended. He needed to know what he did wrong, and he sure as hell would not do it again. You didn’t text him after the argument, and it only left him uneasy at the thought of you really wanting to end things.

He didn’t want to lose you. Not like this. 

Admittedly, he got a bit ahead of himself— he’s been waiting outside for the past half hour, arriving much too early as he stood out in the hall awkwardly— at some point, he tried peeking into the small, rectangular window next to the door, hunched over slightly and pouting as he scanned the room for you. 

When he spotted you, he was delighted to see you had already been looking at him. 

He couldn’t contain the wide smile that stretched across his face, waving at you excitedly in hopes you’d do the same— unable to realize that the whole class was now looking at him, he was confused to watch the way your face screwed up into an expression of sheer embarrassment, shielding your face with your hand and looking away as some students began following his line of sight. 

Why did you do that? You were ignoring him, and it hurt like a bitch as Yeonjun frowned. His mind was racing as he began wondering what he might’ve done wrong— he was so focused, in fact, that he failed to notice the professor blocking his view, his reaction time much too slow as his eyes flickered up to meet the man’s gaze. Flustered, he backed away quickly, his face heating up as he bowed in apology— he hugged the bouquet close to his chest as he did, mumbling out a soft sorry the man probably couldn’t even hear. 

You, on the other hand, could hear the way your professor laughed at Yeonjun’s actions, absolutely mortified by the way he turned around and began to joke to the class, saying that “It looks like someone here has an admirer,” whilst looking in your direction, your classmates laughing along before he went back to his lecture.

Shit, this was so embarrassing. 

Yeonjun is so fucking stupid, you cry to yourself, peeking over at the doorway in hopes that he took the hint and left— but no, he definitely didn’t, because you could still see his figure through the window, leaning against the wall and holding an item the size of his whole upper body close to his chest. 

The last thing you wanted to do was go outside and see him— but that’s exactly what happened anyway, even if you lingered behind once class ended in hopes that Yeonjun would get impatient and wait— patience was never his strongest virtue, after all. 

But for you, anything could change. 

This is exactly why you find him outside the door, face hidden with what is, to your surprise, a large bouquet of your favorite flowers. 

Fuck, you seriously don’t want to talk to him right now. Gritting your teeth, you use this moment to sneak past him, a slight guilt tugging at you as you look back, spotting the way he seems oblivious to the fact that you’ve left already. 

Looking back was your first mistake.

Because Yeonjun, in a truly creepy fashion, is almost able to sense it, whipping his head to you and perking up at the way you only walk faster— then begin sprinting, refusing to look back again once he starts chasing after you. 

“Baby,” you hear him call out to you, the ridiculous rustling of his bouquet slightly muffling his words as his footsteps thud against the tiles; for an athlete, you’d expect him to catch up to you already, but you quietly pat yourself on the back for the slight head start you gave yourself. 

“Baby, wait!” he continues to yell, ignoring the strange stares from those passing by, “Please, let me talk to you!” 

“I don’t wanna talk!” you growl out, your emotions taking over as you remember why you’re mad at him, “leave me alone!”

You’re outside now; you’re a huffing and sweaty mess, but you refuse to slow down for even a second, the threat of Yeonjun hot on your heels fueling your stamina. 

“Can you please tell me what I did wrong?” He yells, exasperated as he watches you run off the sidewalk— you’re attempting to lose him, but countless running drills and morning runs have prepared him for this moment— without a second thought, he’s following you, attempting to peek over his— inconveniently large, he must admit— bouquet, watching the way you simply continue to run, glancing back every once in a while to see if he’s still there. 

“Please, can we be civil and talk about this?!” his words have you turning around to send him a glare— instead, you stumble to a stop as you watch Yeonjun trip, eyes widening at the dramatic sight before you. 

He’s fallen flat on his face, a puff of petals blowing up around him as you wince— he’s face-first into whatever’s left of the flowers, the rest of the petals fluttering in the air around him and falling delicately on his figure as you stare, the place eerily silent save for the chirping birds and rustling leaves.

He doesn’t say anything— he doesn’t make a sound, doesn’t even attempt to get up, left splattered all over the grass as you stare at him in slight concern. 

“Yeonjun?” you call out uncertainly, shifting on your feet as you pause. He doesn’t respond— he’s left frozen on the ground, and you’re frowning at the sight as you slowly make your way to him; you approach him slowly, as though you were approaching a wild animal, tense in your movements as you lean in to observe him. 

“Did you die?” you ask quietly, taking in the way he still hasn’t moved. Not an inch. You feel more concerned than you want to admit, crouching down in front of him as you bite your lip in worry. 

“Do you hate me.” the sudden words have you flinching, staring down at Yeonjun, who’s still eating dirt and flowers. You frown, scoffing at the way he weakly reaches out for you— swiftly, you slap his hand, watching the way it flops back onto the ground. 

“No— yes— a little,” you stutter out, angry at the way you bounce between responses just from the mere pathetic sight of him. 

“Can you forgive me?” he asks, the words muffled as it takes you a minute to decipher what he may be saying— you can’t help but roll your eyes at his antics.  

“For what?” you ask, picking a petal off his back absentmindedly as you wait— if he could answer properly, you might consider giving in. 

“For existing.” 

God, Yeonjun was such a sap. It has you biting back a smile as you resist the urge to stroke his hair, mused and riddled with petals from his grand gesture— but his answer was not the one you were looking for, and you’re standing back up and readjusting your clothes without another word. 

“pleaaaaseee,” you hear him whine, watching the way he shrivels up into a ball— then, he’s sitting back on his legs, whipping his head up and looking at you with wide, teary eyes. 

“Please take the flowers with you at least,” he pouts, thrusting the bouquet— or, whatever was left of it— up at you with pleading eyes.

Pressing your lips together, you sigh; a moment passes before you’re taking the gift from him begrudgingly, ignoring the way he perks up happily at your action. 

“I’m still mad at you,” you hiss, and he immediately deflates at your words, “Don’t visit my class like that again. Please.” 

He says nothing, left to watch as you turn your back to him and walk away; he has yet to get up, his heart pounding against his chest as he watches the way you hug the flowers close to you, shaking your head at the state of them. 

This was… progress. 

But you’re still mad at him. 

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

TUESDAY

Visiting you in class was a big no. 

Visiting you in general, however, wasn’t off-limits.

You don’t want to talk to him? Fine, he can understand. In fact, he won’t talk to you at all— a feat much greater said than done— but hey, he always loved staring at you anyway. 

Well, it’s a little hard to stare by the way you’ve propped up textbooks around your face like a fort. 

He’s staring. He’s still staring. You can practically feel his puppy-eyed gaze burn into your brain telepathically; no matter how hard you try to focus on your work, it’s become damn near impossible with the way you can feel Yeonjun’s presence, your neck beginning to ache from the way you’ve remained ducked down this whole time. 

It was easy to deal with at first; you chose not to do anything the moment you saw Yeonjun emerge from the staircase and onto the top floor of the library— otherwise known as the quietest level. 

He wouldn’t be able to talk to you without disturbing the peace of others— and potentially being asked to leave— so you decided to not make a scene and go back to studying, even when you felt his eyes lock on your figure and beeline to you. 

He sat across from you first. Though, you were quick to move, pretending as though you were looking for a book as you quickly ran away to the other side of the library. You felt the way his eyes followed you the whole time— he looked like a kicked puppy, and damn did that stupid tactic of his always work, because you even felt yourself pausing for a second, wondering if you should give in and talk to him. 

But, you are a horrendously petty person.

You were holed up in some random corner. You didn’t even know there was a table there until today, the spot so secluded and quiet that you silently celebrated getting him off your trail.

It was peaceful— for like, a good ten minutes. 

You didn’t think much of it when you first heard it; footsteps, slow and calculated as they rounded about the bookshelves. You could hear the sound of books being pulled out clear as day, though you chose to ignore it all and keep focus on your assignments instead. 

After a moment, the footsteps disappeared. 

It was back to being completely silent. And, in your bored state, you began to look around the area you were huddled up in; curiously, you allowed yourself to walk around, reading the spines and pulling out books that seemed to pique your interest even slightly. 

There seemed to be another person here as well— maybe it was the same person as before, or maybe it was someone new— you didn’t pay mind to it nonetheless, continuing your journey as your eyes locked in on a particularly colorful book.

Slowly, you pulled it out— on the other side, you watched the book adjacent to yours slowly get pulled out as well, and a smile tugged at your lips at the odd coincidence. 

Then, your eyes met with Yeonjun’s. 

His gaze filled with admiration was only returned with a mean scowl from you. You were quick to shove the book back into its place, storming off to your table without a moment’s hesitation. 

Yeonjun was quickly able to find your hiding spot— one might think you could cry from the way you buried your face into your hands defeatedly, refusing to look up from your dark refuge as the sounds of a chair scraping against the carpeted floors met your ears. 

That’s how you found yourself here, ignoring what people might think as you hide behind your fortress of textbooks. You didn’t feel good staying in a secluded area with Yeonjun— not because you thought he might try to do anything— but because you were afraid of your own resolve crumbling, especially after you’d spent so much time trying to ignore him. 

You wonder if he’s still here. Who are you kidding, of course he’s still here, though you can’t really bring yourself to check and see for yourself. 

After a while, you hear scribbling sounds. 

You can’t hide the way you jump as a piece of paper hits your head, folded into a perfect heart and landing in front of you with a dull thud. 

Open me :( it says, and though you wish you could say you were strong enough to ignore it, you definitely aren’t.

Can you pls let me look at u at least?

You don’t get much of a moment to process the message. Another paper lands directly in front of you, shaped into a heart and scrawled with the same words as the last— slowly, you open it, dreading what might be written inside this time. 

I miss you so so so so so much. 

You shake your head at his words. Sliding the paper to the side, you ignore his request, choosing to focus on your work instead of giving in to his silly tactics. After a moment, you wonder if you’ll be getting another paper— instead, nothing happens; the sigh of relief you let out is almost comical, your body relaxing a bit as you allow yourself to wonder if he’s finally left. 

That was your second mistake. 

Because after a few minutes, another paper hits you. It’s another heart, and you find that you don’t need to open it this time, the message scrawled on top for easier access. 

I’m sorry. 

Another paper flies over your fortress.

I’m sorry.

Then, another. 

Pls forgive me.

Then another. And another, and another, and another. 

Pls, I hate making you mad. I feel so gross and sad rn. I seriously can’t go a day without you. I miss you sm, pls :(((

You feel like you’re under attack— the way he continues to throw paper after paper is rhythmic and almost impressive, the endless stream of hearts covering your keyboard and forcing you to sweep them to the side after seconds. 

It’s useless to study. How can you, when Yeonjun keeps throwing his apologies at you? It’s stupid and childish and is enough for you to take your textbooks down, your jaw clenched and your eyes pointed in a sharp glare that has Yeonjun pausing in his actions. 

There’s a small pile of hearts next to him. 

Neither of you move— he’s frozen mid-throw, his eyes widening as though he can’t grasp the fact that you’re actually looking at him— even if it’s filled with rage and annoyance. 

Slowly, the corners of his lips curl up— you can’t find it in you to react as he throws the paper in his hands, feeling the way it smacks right onto your forehead before it falls to the table. 

Can I show u how sorry I am??

You don’t seem to think of the consequences as you reach for your bag in the seat next to you— devoid of anything except a few pencils and your hoodie— and throw it at him, watching the way he yelps in surprise, your bag spilling out it’s few contents all over the floor. The sound is enough to have the people around you glancing at your table, curious or angry at the sound of the ruckus. 

You’re worked up and huffing as you watch Yeonjun scramble to gather the spilled contents of your bag, watching as he stutters out whispered apologies between his actions. 

“Excuse me,” the hand on your shoulder is firm as you twist your head to look at the librarian, your expression falling at the realization of what you’ve just done. 

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” 

Whipping your head around, you meet eyes with a sheepish and guilty Yeonjun, gritting your teeth as he holds out your bag for you to take. 

Wordlessly, you snatch it from him, shoving your computer and the rest of your items into it before you’re turning around to face the librarian; you whisper out a soft “I’m so sorry” as you bow in apology, waiting for her to leave before you’re facing Yeonjun again. 

I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, he mouths to you, though you ignore it all as you choose to whack his shoulder with your very-full bag instead; the pained whimper he lets out has you gritting your teeth in irritation, watching the way he pouts up at you as he rubs his arm pathetically. 

“Don’t pull this shit again,” you hiss out, storming off before he can get another word out. 

There goes all his progress. 

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

WEDNESDAY

Today has been an oddly nice day.

It’s nice— too nice, you wonder, pondering what may be different enough to have you walking with a smile on your face, appreciating the beautiful weather in a light mood. 

A guy your age is leaning against a tree up ahead. He holds a bouquet of roses, and you smile at the way he seems to be passing one out to every person that passes him. That’s so sweet, you think to yourself, and you can’t help the way your stomach twists in anticipation the moment his eyes meet yours. 

“Would you like a rose?” he asks you, his blond hair shining under the sunlight as he sends you a bright smile— you don’t hesitate to say yes, taking the flower from him with a cute thank you! 

The flower is in full bloom as you twirl it between your fingers absentmindedly. The smile on your face is seemingly permanent as you make your way to your favorite cafe, though as you think back to the interaction, you can’t help but wonder if you know that man from somewhere.

It isn’t until you stop at a crosswalk that you notice it— there’s a tag on the rose, and though you initially thought it was just a price tag, you realize that it’s something else; pausing before you cross the street, you take a moment to tilt your head and read it, feeling your jaw drop as your brain registers the words in disbelief. 

Yeonjun says he’s sorry.

“What the fuck,” you mutter to yourself, ripping it off without hesitation and shoving it into your pocket— you definietly recognize the man from earlier, you realize— that was Hueningkai!

You roll your eyes at Yeonjun’s weak ploy to talk to you— you can’t help the way it leaves you irritated as you stand in line to order, trying your best to recite your regular order to the barista with a smile on your face, the man before you giving you a dimpled smile before he’s off to make it.

By the time you get your order, you’ve calmed down— you’re quick to exit and make your way back towards campus, using this small break between classes to study again. (without Yeonjun around, hopefully.) 

Your fingers are absentminded as you trace over the printed sticker on the side of the cup that has your order printed on it, glancing down at the text before you take another sip. 

Yeonjun is really sorry.

…What? 

You were more unnerved than anything. The lengths Yeonjun had gone through to communicate almost concerned you, though all you could do at this point was rip the sticker off and shove it in your pocket, ignoring it like the other one. You wracked your mind for answers as you began to wonder if you had seen that barista anywhere else, and after a moment, you settled on the vague conclusion that you think you’ve seen him in Yeonjun’s frat house before. 

He’s so annoying, you sigh to yourself, rubbing at your temples as you fear an upcoming headache. 

You’re startled back to life at the sight of a puppy running up to you— you’re frowning at the sight, unsure of what to do as it stops right at your feet, jumping up on you and barking excitedly— almost like it recognized you— squinting, you observe the dog. 

Oh god, you think to yourself, realizing with dread that you do recognize this damn dog.

“Matcha, who let you out,” you huff, leaning down to scoop the tiny dog into your arms— in the distance, you can see someone running in your direction, though you choose to ignore it as you notice Matcha’s brand new collar. 

Yeonjun misses you more than anything. 

The words are wrapped around his collar, leaving you to throw your head back and groan at the sight; the footsteps are much louder than before, and you’re looking forward again as you spot yet another familiar face. 

“Beomgyu,” you sneer, shoving Matcha into his awaiting hands. All he can do is laugh sheepishly, muttering out what a coincidence! Petting Matcha, he pauses, giving you an expectant look that only leaves you confused.

“Could you forgive him?”

“Go away!” you say in return, weaving out of his way and practically running off to the library; you can hear Matcha barking at you, though you choose to ignore it as Beomgyu’s calls of your name fuel you further. 

You feel out of breath by the time you finally enter the library, finding the nearest help desk and beginning to rummage through your bag for any books you need renewed— the librarian simply smiles at you patiently as he waits, adjusting his glasses before he quickly turns around to get something— by the time he’s back, you’ve laid out your books for him, thanking him quietly as you watch him renew them quickly.

When he slides them back towards you, you frown— there’s a bookmark on top of your small stack of books, laminated and shiny under the lights as you pick it up to get rid of the glare— reading it, you can already feel the need to tear it, though it seems as this cheeky worker is already one step ahead of you. 

Yeonjun just wants to talk to you again.

Three ways to better communication in a relationship:

The glare you send the worker— Taehyun, his name tag reads— is lethal, though he doesn’t seem to be affected by it as he simply sends you an innocent smile. Without another word, you gather your books, shoving them into your bag as you turn to leave.

“Ignoring him won’t solve anything,” he calls out quietly, though you don’t seem to appreciate the advice by the way you don’t even bother to turn back and react. Instead, you walk right back out, storming home as you type on your phone furiously. 

my baby :((

stop using others to relay messages damn it!!!

my baby :((

and don’t use matcha against me you loser!!!!!!

Through his end, Yeonjun is just happy that you’re texting him— though, the mean name is not much appreciated. 

Choi Yeonjun. 

can you pls let me talk to you instead?

You don’t bother opening the notification. 

That was your third mistake.

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

THURSDAY

Today has been relatively peaceful. You have yet to be bothered today— no Yeonjun, no Matcha, and certainly none of his friends. 

Maybe because he was aware of your plans today; you did tell him a while ago about your reunion with one of your friends, always chatting his ear off about how excited you were to finally see her again—it slightly warms your heart to know that he actually listens to you.

Well. Most of the time. 

“You’re fighting right now?” Tzuyu asks, leaning forward in her seat with wide eyes. You didn’t expect this sudden change of topic, but you can only nod grimly in response, watching as she sighs in dismay at your situation. 

“Wow, you guys never fight— at least, not to this level,” she’s deep in thought over your relationship as she frowns, crossing her arms over her chest as she stares down at her empty plate— you both chose to forgo dessert, and now you wait patiently for your check.

“Well, what are you guys even fighting about?” 

“It’s just—“ you’re cut off by your server placing the check in between the two of you, thanking him with a smile on your face before you’re freezing; you’re unsure of what to make of the plate that he places before you, stuttering out unintelligible sentences that you didn’t order… whatever this was. 

“Free of charge,” the man says, before bowing politely and scurrying away; you’re barely able to get a word out before you huff in defeat, looking back at the treat in front of you as you take in Tzuyu’s amused laughter.

“What?” you ask, frowning as you watch her turn the plate towards you— you’re left a bit speechless by what you see, mouth falling open as your brain attempts to comprehend how you should react to this. 

It’s dessert— well, more specifically, three full scoops of ice cream, the caramel drizzle and other toppings decorating it to make it look like a cat; more specifically, a sad cat. All along the plate, more caramel drizzle decorates it to form a sentence. 

I miss you. Please, talk to me. YJ. 

Your head snaps up in the direction the waiter went in; looking out the small window of the kitchen door, you spot none other than Yeonjun, his eyes widening before he’s ducking out of the way like a deer in headlights. 

“How the fuck did he get back there?!” you cry out, running a hand down your face in disbelief— but no, one more glance back in his direction is enough to catch him peeking at you again, flinching in surprise before he’s ducking out of your sight once more. 

“Who let him in there?” you hiss, placing your head in your hands as Tzuyu merely laughs; you ignore the way she begins to dig into the dessert after you express that you won’t touch it, humming happily that it was a sweet gesture. 

A moment’s thought is able to remind you where you are— in Beomgyu’s older brother’s restaurant, of course. 

Defeatedly, you open the checkbook to offer to pay— though the price has your eyes practically bulging out, reading and re-reading the strange excuse of a check this waiter has brought to you. 

Your meal was free. 

The only thing you read on the paper was a poor excuse of Yeonjun replacing the food items with “i miss you”s and “i’m sorry”s, the sight baffling you as Tzuyu turns the check towards her in curiosity. 

“Interesting,” she hums, closing the checkbook before she’s fishing for tip money, “Are you sure you wanna lose a guy like him?”

You take a second to think her question through. 

Yet another mistake on your part. 

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

FRIDAY

Remembering what happened today is enough to have your head hurting— so, you’ll keep it short.

You were working— working, minding your own business, prey to unsuspecting events— when it happened. 

Fridays were always rush days. Maybe that’s why you didn’t think to pay attention to your surroundings, to the blasting music, the yell of your coworkers calling out drinks and names, or to the endless chatter of the customers around you. 

You should have paid attention— maybe, if you did, you would’ve been able to spare yourself the embarrassment— another mistake of yours, if you will. 

The break of music from the radio was not what caught your attention— radio hosts do it all the time, speaking in between songs with useless chatter as they find a song to play next— no, what did catch your attention, however, was the eerily familiar voice, and worse, the eerily familiar message he broadcasted all over your local station. 

“This next song is called Seven,” he spoke, smooth, suave, and relaxing as the track rolled in quietly in the background, “a song about a man more than willing to show how devoted he is to his to his partner— ___, come home, the kids miss you— well, more like Matcha, but still.”

You could feel your coworkers freeze around you. You could feel their gazes slowly drift to you, could feel the way customers got a good look at the decorated name tag you once showed off proudly. 

“Is— is he…?” your coworker whispered beside you, watching the way you caved into yourself in attempts to hide your nametag, “is he that frat boy you were talking about?”

“No.” you say, avoiding everyone’s gaze as you focus on making your drink instead, “No. That’s not him. This isn’t about me, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“___, I’ll keep waiting for you patiently. Have a good shift today.” 

Christ!

Your coworkers could only laugh lightheartedly at his words— they found it cute, which was even worse for you, because all you could wonder was how the fuck he was able to get into the broadcast station— this time, you seriously couldn’t figure out any ties between him and the place. 

“Looks like he won’t give up,” to say you were horrified at the way a customer told you this was an understatement, her eyes alight with amusement as she spoke to you with a tone so genuine you almost thought she was in on it— fuck, maybe she was— “if anything, you should turn him down soon before he goes too far.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you breathed out, tired of these constant antics as you thought over her words, forced to go through the rest of your shift pretending as though Yeonjun hadn’t broadcasted his pleading message to the whole city— well, more like anyone who was listening to the local radio station willingly.

You feel like you’re on The Truman Show, or something.

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

SATURDAY

You were scared to talk to Yeonjun. 

Scared— why were you scared? You don’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to send him a text message, pacing around your room like an idiot instead as you wondered what you would tell him. 

Would you talk? Would you finally break up with him?

The way your stomach sank with dread at the mere thought of the second option was enough of an answer for you— no, you shouldn’t break up with him.

However, it was storming today— there was no way in hell you would be going outside to meet him in such weather, so you opted to psych yourself up to send him a text message asking to meet up instead.

You were pacing around your room again when you noticed it. 

There’s a bright umbrella outside— shit, you recognize that umbrella, you realize with a heavy dread, walking up to your window and pulling your curtains open as you stare out in dismay.

Why the fuck is Yeonjun outside right now?

It’s perfect timing, the way his umbrella raises to show his figure; oh my god, you think to yourself, biting your lip as you take his expression in, he’s crying!

This was not your intention. You never meant to hurt Yeonjun like this, but you also were not ready to see him yet— so, with a slight pang in your heart, you shut the curtains again, leaving just enough of a crack to make sure that he’ll leave.

Instead, he stayed there. In true Yeonjun fashion, squinting up at your window in hopes that you’d at least tell him to go away. Instead, he watched as you peeked through the crack of the curtains, his heart fluttering slightly at the way you thought you were being discreet with your actions. 

Slowly, Yeonjun turns his phone to you; there’s writing flashing by in his phone, though you have to squint your eyes and wait for the whole sentence to roll by to see what he’s trying to tell you now. 

I know you don’t… want to see me… right now but I … seriously just need… to know what I … did wrong. 

God. Fuck. This whole “ghosting” ordeal was harder than it should be when someone like Yeonjun was involved. 

 It’s been like… a week and you… still haven’t talked… to me.

Oh, the guilt is seriously eating you up right now. You weren’t supposed to ignore him for days on end, but each time Yeonjun reached out for you, you couldn’t control the way you ran away in return, still hurt by the things he didn’t even realize he did.

You’ve finally gotten a good grasp of his obliviousness.

I’m sorry… I love you… I love you… I love you…

Only three words are rolling by on his phone now. You think you’ve gotten the gist of what he’s trying to tell you as you sink to the floor, out of sight and exasperated as you reach for your phone to make a call. 

“Hello?”

“Please come get Yeonjun. He’s outside my apartment in the freezing rain.”

“Uhm, let him in then?”

“I— I can’t,” you mutter sheepishly as you feel your face heating up, your stomach sinking as you hear Beomgyu scoffing on the other side of the line, “I don’t want to talk to him right now. Not like this.”

“Then I guess he’ll stay out in the freezing rain.” 

“He’ll get sick!” you say, and it’s only now that you feel stupid for this push and pull you’ve created, “please. I’m begging you.” 

“You need to talk to him.”

“I want to. I will.” you say, placing a hand on your forehead as you sigh, “Tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

A pause. Then, you hear rustling, and the sounds of Beomgyu grumbling quietly to himself.

“I’ll go get him,” he says, and you can feel yourself sink further against the wall in relief, “you better not back out on your word, okay?”

“Okay.” 

You hope you’re not making a mistake. 

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

SUNDAY

This is awkward. You feel awkward. You probably look awkward, too. 

Yeonjun, for once, looks just as awkward and tense before you. His whole body is rigid as he sits on your couch, feeling more like a stranger in your home than the man you’ve spent the past few months with, the way his eyes wander around making you feel like it’s his first time here. 

“Yeonjun,” you sigh out, catching his attention as his eyes zero in on you immediately; you feel nervous under his gaze, unsure of what to say as your brain begins to stutter, your mouth opening and closing in hopes that a proper sentence will come out.

“What did I do wrong?” he cries out, snapping you out of your troubled reverie as your eyes meet his— they’re glossy, and you’re afraid he might just start crying again if you look away, “can we start there?”

“You— you seriously don’t know?” you ask, bewildered by his question as you sit back on your couch— Yeonjun simply shakes his head reverently in response, and you’re blinking owlishly at him as you stare at him in disbelief. 

“We didn’t have any arguments before this,” he says, nibbling on his lip as he thinks back to the moment you yelled at him, tearing his arm off you as he attempted to keep you from running away, “You just snapped at me then disappeared— I, I want to know what I did wrong, at least.”

“Yeonjun you—“ you’re dragging a hand down your cheek as you clench your jaw, taking a second to breathe to not snap at him again, “that’s the problem, you’re just so— so oblivious, I seriously thought you’d be able to put two and two together by now!” 

Oh, oh this is embarrassing; you should not be getting worked up right now, your hands immediately coming up to hide your face as you hear Yeonjun cooing out your name softly— he’s next to you at the speed of light, attempting to take your hands away as he quietly tells you to breathe in his stupid, calming voice. 

“You’re always at those stupid parties, you stupid frat boy—“ you’re stuttering through your sentences, the heat in your face humiliating as you feel your emotions finally tumbling down, “and I know I told you I’m okay with it— I am, I really am— but what I’m not okay with is how fucking flirty you are!”

You can feel Yeonjun’s hands stiffen; slowly, his mouth drops in shock, his face beginning to pale as he realizes just why you’re mad at him. 

“I’ve told you— time, and time again— that, that I don’t like when you feed into people like that, that you never reject advances and tell them that you have a fucking girlfriend,” you know he never means it in a harmful way. You know that, nine times out of ten, Yeonjun doesn’t even realize those advances are happening, but it’s always just as painful to watch, knowing that charming attitude and cheeky voice is exactly how he got you, “and it just makes me feel so… so stupid and jealous and unwanted!” 

You feel out of breath by the time you finish. Though you remain silent and try to calm yourself, you instead begin to feel more anger festering inside you as you take in Yeonjun’s face, full of dread and realization as he begins to think back to how he was acting back at the frat party that caused this mess. 

Yeonjun was used to people acting the way they did around him. It never fazed him, and most of the time he simply followed along because he found it fun. No, he never thought of having anyone else but you, you’re his everything— though, he does realize how inconsiderate he’s been of your feelings now. 

“Baby, baby, I’m so sorry,” he says, his words genuine and filled with guilt as he cups your face gently, “I didn’t know.”

“Fuck!” Your response is unprecedented as you shake his hands off you, pushing him back and forcing him to lay across the couch as he looks up at you in surprise. He’s unable to do anything as he watches the way you throw your legs on each side of his waist, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and tugging him up as you sneer at him.

“That’s your problem, you just don’t know—!” pushing him back on the couch, he lets out a soft oof! unable to help the way his stomach swirls in anticipation of your next move, “You’re just too stupid, you don’t know anything unless someone spells it out for you!”

Shit. Yeonjun has never seen you like this, frustrated and restless as you shift above him, your eyes alight with rage as you begin tugging your hoodie over your head; his eyes widen comically at the action, shifting nervously under you as he realizes that oh, you’re not wearing a bra. 

“You’ve seriously left me wondering if you’re even taking this relationship seriously, it’s ridiculous!” Yeonjun feels like he’s been left on autopilot as he lets you tug him up again; he’s sitting up, hands hovering precariously as you glare at him, the sight enough to have him gulping nervously.

“I— I do,” he stutters out, watching as you send him an accusing look, “I do, I do I do, I take you so seriously, and fuck, I haven’t been thinking of anyone but you all week.” 

“Yeah?” you ask him, patronizing and unexpectedly mean as you look down at him, “You never fucking act like it.”

“Yes I do—!” he yells out, though it’s cut off by the way you sit down firmly in his lap, a hand threading into his hair and yanking at the roots as you tug his head back cruelly, “I’ve shown you this whole week just how much I think about you…” 

Yeonjun is hard. Painfully so, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him get turned on so quickly— it’s enough to have you laughing breathily, tugging on his hair again and listening to the way he only lets out a high whine in response.

“What you’ve shown me this week,” you hiss, bringing him close to you, your lips grazing against his as you speak, “is that you’re a desperate bitch that doesn’t know how to be patient.”

“You were ignoring me,” he fights back, letting out a breathy wince at the way your grip tightens on his hair, “you’ve been so mean to me—!”

Yeonjun doesn’t get another word in on the matter. The way you bite his lip ruthlessly and sneak your tongue into his mouth has you feeling the way he practically turns to putty under you, his cheeks just as red as his lips as he gasps against your own, feeling the way you begin to grind against his cock without remorse. 

“Me? I’ve been mean to you?” you wonder out loud, hands running down his chest before you’re tugging his shirt up; you don’t bother taking it off as it rests against his chest, leaning him back and running your hands over his skin as you take in the way his stomach twitches in response. “do you know how many people think they’ve actually got a chance with you, all because you refuse to use common sense and say, oh, I’ve got a girlfriend!” 

Yeonjun shakes his head; there’s no way your words are true, especially when he’s literally obsessed with you. But of course, you’re always right— which is exactly why you’re fueled to rake your nails down his skin, leaving him to hiss and twitch at the feeling of your acrylics digging into his stomach and leaving bright, red scratch marks— acrylics he paid for because he thought they were pretty, the reminder only making his cock twitch pathetically. 

“There’s no one in this world that has a chance with me but you,” Yeonjun insists, pouting at the way you only scoff at his words, “I’ve never done anything to fuel other people’s strange fantasies.”

“God, you’re stupid,” you say, and Yeonjun thinks he must’ve lost his mind from the way he can feel a whine building up in his throat, “and to think I found that endearing.”

“You’re so mean,” he pouts— though he’s quick to regret it, letting out a loud cry as you begin grinding against him, able to feel the warmth of your pussy through the thin shorts you wear, your breast bouncing from the way your body begins to move. 

“You don’t like it?” You ask, tilting your head to watch as he merely shakes his head in response— all you can do is plant yourself to where you can feel his length pressed up against your slit, throbbing against you as you pout at him in false pity, “no you don’t like it, or no you do?”

“I— I…” he doesn’t know how to respond; it seems as though Yeonjun hasn’t figured out the response for himself, but you can feel it from the way his hips buck up into yours, stuttering and without rhythm as he remains defenseless under you. 

“You do like it,” you say, mocking at the way he only whimpers from the feeling of your nails digging into his hips, “Feels nice to be on the receiving end, baby?”

Fuck. Fuck, oh fuck, this was strange and new and Yeonjun was definitely enjoying himself more than he thought he should, a melted pile of remorse and love as he pathetically waited for your next move, doe eyes staring up at you as he felt his mouth part, unable to say anything as he gave in to the mean look you sent him. 

“Been waiting patiently for me, hmm?” you ask him, thinking back to his earlier words as you watch him nod eagerly in confirmation, “So you bothering me every day of the week was you being patient?”

“I just wanted to talk,” Yeonjun whines out, chest heaving at the way you begin rolling your hips against his, your rhythm firm and dangerous as he feels weak moans leaving him like a stream, “but you— you kept avoiding me, I wanted to get some confirmation that you didn’t break up with me that day…!”

“Yeah?” you mock him, your voice just as whiny and breathy as his as you lean down to him; placing your hands on his chest, you tilt your head, grinding your cunt against him in a way that has him panting and looking for someplace to grab onto, “and did you get your answer?”

Yeonjun doesn’t even think he registered what you said. All he knows is that the way you’re sitting on him is genuinely cruel, especially with the way he hasn’t felt your body against his in so long. His mind is muddled and he can feel himself losing control from the way his hips begin to buck up, his brain going blank except for the thought that he hasn’t felt you against him in what seems like ages, his body so pent up with frustration that he can’t help but chase after the slight pleasure you offer him. 

Yeonjun’s mind has blanked out. You can see it in his face, the way it’s twisted with pleasure as he fails to respond to you, body bucking up into you so wildly that you have to steady yourself with two hands pressed firmly against his chest, your balance getting screwed over at his attempts to fuck up into you. 

The feeling of your warm hands is enough to bring Yeonjun back, eyes widening in realization as his eyes meet yours, clouded with so much need that it has Yeonjun slowing his pace immediately.

“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he stutters out, eyes widening at the way your cunt is practically leaking onto him— he can feel it through the layers of clothes, “wait wait wait, I’m so— ah, please— so… sososo close, baby, please…!”

“Wait?” you echo, brows furrowing as he nods frantically in response, “thought you didn’t like waiting?”

“No, please, please,” he whimpers, though his hips don’t stop their mindless rutting into your warm cunt, “please, don’t wanna come like this, wanna be inside you.”

“No?” you repeat, the mocking tone of your voice making his eyes screw shut, “why don’t you stop then? It’s all up to you.”

Oh, of course he can stop— though, that doesn’t mean he will, your hips slowly grinding against his as you watch the way his mouth falls open, not a sound falling past it before his hips buck up into you wildly— slowly, you feel a warmth spread beneath you, Yeonjun’s eyes screwed tightly as tears begin to peek from the corners. 

“Nooooo nonono, no, not like this,” he cried quietly to himself, ever the hypocrite as his hands fly to your waist, riding out his orgasm with loud, shameless moans. 

“Oh, my baby,” you say, pouting at the way he apologizes to you under his breath, “Is that it? Are you done now?”

“No, not done,” he’s quick to respond despite his rattled state of mind, looking up at you through bleary eyes. 

“No?” you hum, taking a moment to watch him carefully. 

“No,” he repeats, breathless as his grip tightens on your hips— even through the sensitivity, you can still feel his hips roll up into yours, quiet whimpers and whines leaving him as he does so— though, he can’t find it in himself to stop, at least not with the way he has yet to feel you around him. 

“God, this is so pitiful,” you say, frowning at the way Yeonjun struggles to sit up underneath you; you’re cupping his face as he looks up at you, teary eyes and flushed face unable to say anything as he simply leans into your touch— the way you coo softly has him pouting, and you can’t resist the urge to hover over his lips, teasing him with a smile as you brush over them, placing chaste kisses that only have him chasing you for more. 

“What a good bitch,” you hiss, feeling the way his hands have wandered up to play with your breasts, obsessed as always as his fingers tug and circle your nipples, eager to feel them harden under his touch, “doesn’t matter how many times you cum, hmm? Just need to make me feel good?”

“Yes, yes yes yes,” he babbles, wincing and moaning at the way your lips have begun to wander along his neck, nipping and sucking and leaving enough marks that a person could spot from far away with ease; the way your teeth sink into his skin practically has him crying, and he can feel his heart pounding against his chest the moment he feels you pause, your nose nuzzling into the spot behind his ear, your breath ticklish on his skin as you laugh. 

“Are you wearing my perfume, junie?” You mumble, hearing the way he can only whine in embarrassment; he doesn’t answer you, and you bite at his earlobe softly as you wait, silently demanding a response as his hands fall to your hips, gripping them pathetically as though his life depended on it. 

“I missed you,” he repeats, the words making you roll your eyes as your hand finds itself in his hair; you’re tugging at it, tilting his head and exposing his neck to you as you begin to nose along the column, closing your eyes to confirm if this is really your scent, “couldn’t smell you on my clothes anymore, love your scent s’much, ah…”

His neck has always been sensitive; that’s exactly why you choose to focus on it so much, not leaving until it’s covered with your marks and his tears have run down them, his soft sniffles making you glance up as you take him in, overstimulated and a mess as he bites his lip in an attempt to quiet himself.

“Too much, baby?” You coo, running a hand through his hair and pushing it back comfortingly, watching as he shakes his head adamantly, his wide eyes shiny and tear-filled as he looks up at you.

“No,” he mumbles, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you towards him; his face is buried in your chest, and you can’t hold back the gasp you let out as his mouth immediately attaches itself to your breast, plump lips sucking at it as his tongue runs along it, messy and spit-filled as he looks back up at you, grinding you into him with weak whimpers, “want you to use me, you can do anything you want to me, just wanna please you.”

“Such a good boy for me, junie,” you say, his eyes fluttering close at your fond comment. “Are you gonna listen to me, for once?”

“I always listen to you,” he insists, and you feel irked by his words as you scoff.

“Like hell you do,” you sneer, easily angered as he shrinks down from your cold gaze, “Show me then— strip.”

Yeonjun is eager to listen, eager to please; you don’t think you’ve ever seen him get undressed so quickly, kicking off his pants and throwing his shirt off in some random direction as he looks up at you expectantly, his cock a mess and already beginning to harden as your eyes fall to it.

“Hard already?” You muse, watching the way his cheeks blush red at your comment. Your hand is teasing as you wrap your fingers around his length, your perfect nails shining under the light as you slowly begin to move up and down, the cum from his previous orgasm guiding your movements as he begins to twitch under you, crying softly at the overstimulation. 

“Guess you weren’t lying,” you sigh out, finger swiping over his throbbing tip as you hear him yelp at the feeling, “just a cute body for me to use, hmm? You’re nothing but a dick for me to get myself off on?”

Yeonjun is mindlessly agreeing with you— your words are clearly affecting him, his cock leaking and throbbing in your hand, making a mess of it as his head falls back, throat displaying all the marks you left on him earlier like a trophy.

His head is snapping back up the moment you sink onto him. You’re warm, tight, and so fucking wet, his body jolting at the feeling of you clenching around him, taking him inch by inch as he feels the way your walls stretch to adjust to him.

“Fuck…” you hiss, your arousal practically dripping on him from how good he feels— “Yeonjun, shit.”

“Waiiittt, wait, oh god, no— don’t say my name like that, fuck,” Yeonjun begins moaning, your lips quirking into a smile as you watch his eyes screw shut, already knowing what’s coming from the way he holds onto you tighter, head buried into your chest as he tries to still your hips.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” You ask, feigning innocence as you roll your hips into him, moaning dramatically as you do, “Oh, Yeonjun, Yeonjun— fuck, junie, you feel so good, feel so full…”

He’s shaking his head hopelessly; you know what you’re doing to him, and he feels pathetic by the way he loses his senses the more you sink onto him, his cock twitching in you uncontrollably as he warns you to stop, stop, stop before I…!

“This is embarrassing, Yeonjunie,” you pout, feeling the way a warmth spreads inside you the moment you sit on his hips snugly, feeling him bottomed out inside you as he attempts to muffle his sounds. His ears are bright red and he refuses to show you his face as he keeps you close to him, his arms still hugging you flush against him as you feel the valley of your breasts become wet with his tears. 

“Why are you crying, hmm?” You ask him, looking down to see the way he still hides his face, “You’ve already come twice, shouldn’t you be happy? You’re so easy, Yeonjunie.”

Your words are degrading, your voice cold as continue to mock him— and though you pretend otherwise, you can feel the way he ruts his hips into you with every mean comment, clearly enjoying himself more than he lets on as he lets out a broken cry against your skin. 

“Fuck, are you seriously getting off to this?” You snap, bored with pretending as though you don’t feel your boyfriend clinging to you tighter as you degrade him, “You’re such a fucking slut— you get off to anything, don’t you?”

The way you pull him away from your skin is sudden and rough, a soft yelp leaving him as he’s finally forced to face you, eyes fluttering open and meeting your own, your face twisted in annoyance as you look down at him.

“Acting like a bitch in heat, already came twice from nothing,” you grit, rolling your hips against his as you watch the way his eyes roll back— your other hand comes up to grip his cheeks, digging into the flesh and squeezing them together as he pouts at you, eyes welling with tears as he feels your nails dig into him.

“Don’t you feel bad? How am I supposed to get myself off if you can barely keep your dick up for more than a minute?” Your eyes darken at the way he simply lets out a pathetic sorry, ‘m so sorry baby, “What? I don’t think I heard you right.”

Your pussy feels so good around him; Yeonjun is barely able to think straight from the way you’ve begun to bounce on his cock ruthlessly, the sight of your breasts bouncing before him hypnotizing as you jerk his head back up to look at you, towering over him and demanding as you slow your hips to a mean grind.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whines out, his words incoherent and mushed together as you keep a hold of his face, listening as you hiss out for what? “‘M sorry for being so impatient— ah, ah, please— ngh, sorry for coming too soon, sorry for…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. He can’t find the ability to, distracted by the way your sounds have picked up, your fingers rubbing circles on your clit as you continue to use his cock like a toy; his cheeks feel sore as he stares at you with wide eyes, watching your face contort with pleasure, your rhythm become sloppy as you feel your legs getting tired. 

You didn’t think Yeonjun would pick up on it; without any warning, you find your back colliding against the couch, your eyes widening as you feel Yeonjun still settled in between your legs, cock still nestled deeply inside you; he’s still a pouty mess above you, hands gripping onto your hips as he begins rutting into you, his thrusts rough and out of control as he takes in your figure hungrily. 

“Sorry for making you feel unwanted,” Yeonjun babbles, feeling you throw your arms around his neck from the sudden confession, bringing him in close as you feel his face hover above your own, “I only want you, want you to use me and mark me so others know who I belong to, I’m all yours baby— please, please please please tell me you’re close, wanna feel you come on my cock, wanna make you feel good, missed you, missed this pussy, fuck, mmh, ugh, feel so good, so good, soso good, please, baby—“

Yeonjun thinks you’re something of an aphrodisiac to him; at least, that must be the explanation if he’s able to cum the moment he feels you unravel around him, unrestrained and addicted to the feeling as he listens to your pretty sounds, practically melting as he hears your voice purring under him— so good, fuck, you’re all mine Yeonjunie, all mine…

You don’t think you’ve ever felt Yeonjun cum this much— his cock continues to twitch and release inside you even after you’ve come down from your high, the man above you burying his head into the crook of your neck as he cries softly at the feeling, unable to help the way his hips buck forward to ride out his orgasm.

This shift in dynamic is new— but it’s addicting, and you find yourself thoroughly enjoying the way Yeonjun clings to you, his head hazy and needy for your comfort as he lays on top of you, uncaring of how heavy he may be as he wraps his strong arms around you. 

Missed you s’much baby, missed you, please don’t do that again, you could hear him mutter into your skin, a bit out of it as he peppered kisses along your collarbones.

“Alright, alright, I won’t,” you breathe out, running your fingers through his hair soothingly as he leans into your touch like a cat, “I’m sorry I kept running away from you.”

“But then again,” you trail off, tightening your grip on his hair teasingly, feeling the way he immediately whines softly, “you should’ve given me space when I asked you to. It was kinda cute, but don’t do that again— okay?”

“Okay. Of course. Whatever you say,” his response is immediate, not an ounce of hesitation as he stares at you with eyes shining with devotion. After a second, his lips part, and he’s hovering over you again as he looks down at you in wonder. 

“Does that mean we’re boyfriend-girlfriend again?”

You laugh.

“You idiot,” you coo, placing a soft kiss on his lips, unable to control your laugh as you do, “We didn’t stop being boyfriend-girlfriend. I was just mad at you.”

“Hmm. Then, can I eat you out?” His words have you freezing, looking at him in bewilderment as he simply smiles at you sheepishly, “To like. Show you how sorry I am.”

A pause. 

“…And, because I really missed eating you out.”

You sigh— and try not to show how eager you are as you nod softly. Yeonjun however, is shameless as he immediately pulls out, hissing softly at the feeling before he’s sinking to his stomach— you’re gulping at the sight. 

“You’re insatiable.” Your comment doesn’t faze him— if anything, it makes him smile, his pretty eyes staring at you with enough adoration and love that you’re squirming slightly under him.

“For you, yeah.”

-ˏˋ♡ˊˎ-

On Monday, the sight of Yeonjun on campus is enough to have you spinning on your heels and running in the opposite direction. He wears nothing but a thin tank top, wondering why you’re yelling at him to cover up the moment he answers your phone call. 

“Why? It’s hot outside— …and, like, I wanna show everyone who I belong to.”

(You refuse to stand by his side until he covers up—though, you can’t ignore the way his words send butterflies through your stomach.)

#txt fanfic #txt fanfiction #txt imagines #txt oneshots #txt ff #txt angst #txt fluff #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun x you #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun ff #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun oneshot #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #yeonjun smut #sub yeonjun #sub txt

[puppynosed]

I am so tired of having weeks. and months. and years. and decades. yeah. but anyways…

#tonight was unfortunately taken over by none other than toxic friend who kept putting me through the same loop #bc she was away from the person that she likes and didn’t have service to use to talk to them with. so already she was in a mood and thennnn #she was telling me about how she’s been getting hit on by a creepy guy at work who is a frequent customer of hers #and I suggested that she talked to her boss about it so that maybe they could ban him from the store or something like that. #and she got really pissed off at me for NOT just that… which I don’t understand why???? #but then I added on that I felt like she didn’t deserve to feel unsafe at work and then #she threw a whole fit and put me to blame for the fact that she was having a shitty night and couldn’t sleep #I’ve been so nice to her and I’ve been patient despite her tossing me through the same fucking loop over and over and over again… #idk what I’m doing wrong but this is EXACTLY why I struggle with talking to people #it’s like everything I say is wrong and harmful… #so when I go to talk to other people #I’m scared that opening my mouth verbally or virtually will inflict harm on someone <3 #I’m so fucking tired of this #as if life hasn’t been enough hell lately #there are so many things that she has no idea about that are going on with me and yet here she is putting me through more of the same #personal

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Divorce, addiction

It was a Friday, October 13th to be exact. Daniel and I are getting a divorce today. After weeks, he finally signed the divorce papers. I was devastated. It was so hard for me to take this step. But I had to finish it, for my Baby and also for myself, to finally forget Daniel. We met near the city hall, where we had an appointment with a divorce-case officer and judge.

Once there, I saw Daniel coming towards me. I honestly didn’t want to divorce him. I loved him, still, so much. 😥But... that's just the way life is. 😞... He looked at me... I wanted to hug him but instead I just said sadly, hi. Daniel seemed absent for a moment, staring at my belly. 🩵👶

He had this... empty look. Not sad or angry, rather.... emotionless.

With my eyes lowered, I just stood there. I struggled to hold back my tears. Exactly a year ago we moved together. I was so happy with him and now this. 😞

Me: I'm so sorry. I never wanted this! And I still don’t want it. I wish we could just go home together.

Daniel: Same, but...let's not get into that now. Relax and think about your Baby.

Me: What?

Daniel: It's gonna be okay. Trust me.... C'mon, let’s get this over with.

Me: Yea,,...whatever you say. 😞

Um.... well! Daniel and I didn’t get divorced today. The judge asked us why we wanted to divorce? D.'s & my statements left some question marks with the judge, I think? We have to wait six months, before we get divorced.... Daniel said that my jealousy (Tina, Irma...) & insecurity were the biggest probs for him in our relationship.😠... However, the real reason for postponing our divorce was bcs Daniel inherited Dominick’s plot & house. (division of property) Although I refused any claim to Daniel’s property!!

Me: Did you really, seriously mean what you said to them?

Daniel: I answered all questions honestly.

Me: Why didn’t you just give the real reason for our divorce? You took off!!! I didn't know where you were!! And my Baby isn't yours. This fact is the reason for our divorce! You can't handle that I'm pregnant. Or that we are both addicts, which would have been a good reason why we can’t stay together! 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: The juge asked me WHY, I left! You got it?.... You and my borther, your secrets drove me crazy. That fucking shit about Tina. I was overwhelmed with my shit, our drugs you and your delusions. I kept trying to make you happy! I only loved you and I only wanted you. But you just didn’t believe me. Be honest, it wasn’t my fault, just yours!! You don’t know what you want! And you can’t make decisions! But I’m not like N.! I don’t want to tell you what to do or how to live your life. You are responsible for yourself! Finally get it, or just stay with your soccer player and let him control you.

Me: What kind of shit are you talking?? Nico doesn’t do any of this to me.

Daniel: I talked to him! He said, you won’t be the same after he’s done with you. He told me this to my face!! And btw, I can’t stand Alex calling you Lexi!! 😠

Me: You must have misunderstood N. He isn't like that! He was just upset, bcs I confessed what I wanted from you the other day. Besides, you’re jealous too!!! Anyway.... I-.. I just can’t stand it around you anymore. And I’m sorry I was so jealous. I loved you so much. I wanted to do anything for you. I was terrified to lose you. I’m sorry. Sorry I was such a freak to you. But I didn’t do anything wrong with your brother, D.!! There was NOTHING between Alex and me!! IDK how many times I’ve had to say this damn sentence. Finally get it!....

Me: It hurts so much and it just doesn’t stop.... I don’t want to love you anymore. I wish you’d never married me. 😢

Daniel: Damn, I-... I'm sorry. I still struggle with that... stress disorder. Either I feel nothing-... or I boil with rage.🤦‍♂️

Me: It's ok.. I'm leaving.... See you in 6 moths. And.. stay off drugs, just... take care, Daniel. 😢

Daniel: Wait!

Me: I gotta go. Sorry. Bye!.... 😭

Daniel: I-...... love you.

I just wanted to get away from there. Far away from.... him.💔 Not really, but.... agh, you know what I mean. And I’ll see Daniel again sooner than I thought. Right after delivery. It was about that annoying name change. D. and I were officially still married, but I didn't want to give my Son his surname. D. is not his Dad, but N. Such a mess!!

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw divorce #ts4 story

[pandoa]

sorry for bothering you again, Pandoa! idk if anyone asked for Epel but I dedided to do it myself. Tulips (said by Epel) and red roses (said by reader), theme comfort of home. Only a suggestion but I thought about this in Epel's home, like in the event. He and reader are talking and he just confess himself right there in a moment of confidence. I just... my country boi ily <3

Tulips ~ “so what if i’m in love with you?! is that so wrong?”

Red roses ~ “i’m afraid your existence in my life has tremendously done wonders to my racing heart. i may have to ask for yours in return”

~epel felmier x gender neutral reader~

cherryyyy thank you for another precious request <333 writing for you is always a joy and i really like how this one turned out too lol. hope you enjoy~

♡confidence juice♡

“We’ll never escape your family’s teasing, will we?” a chipper voice coming from your form asked as you sipped on a warm cup of apple juice, making yourself comfortable as you turned your head in all directions to bask in the peace of Epel’s room. Decorating the entire room was apple-accented accessories and lodge-like furniture that gave the room an aesthetic rustic look—one that somehow gave off an entrancing homely aura—while rays of sun coming from Harveston’s sky peeked out to kiss the tips of your fingers resting on the lavender-haired boy’s bed. The two of you had paid Epel’s family a visit at their farm in Harveston to try a new apple-centered beverage the Felmier’s had made; however, with Felmier family’s excitement over meeting you for the first time, bustling chattering had filled the orchard like harmonious critters chirping in the woods. 

“Yeah…prob’ly not,” Epel said as he joined you in your seat at his bed, a fresh cup of his grandparents’ newest apple recipe in hand, “Ever since we got back ‘ere, they’ve seemed a bit nosey, haven’t they?”

“It’s cute.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well, in your eyes it’s nosey. In my eyes, however, it’s cute. Almost endearing actually,” you reasoned while the calming aroma of spices from the apple juice tickled your nose. You made sure to take note and send your compliments to Mrs. Felmier on their family’s most recent recipe. It was absolutely amazing.

“Yeah, but I was kinda lookin’ forward to spending time with you alone. Y’know, show you some places from my childhood—things like that,” the Pomefiore first year shifted his body to face you as a light shade of pink glowed on his cheeks in slight embarrassment, “My family does not help at all, too, what with them constantly on our backs when we’re together.” Epel shivered when he swore he could feel the piercing gazes of his family spying on the both of you through his bedroom window, “And they keep starin’ at me like some kind of cicada is about to pop outta’ my chest; it makes no sense.”

“Cicada? Epel, what are you talking about—?”

“Well, I guess I did talk about you a lot to them before coming here. They might’ve figured it out by now…” the boy continued to mutter under his breath as he took a small sip out of his crimson red cup. 

“Figured what out, exactly—?”

“But so what if I’m in love with you?! Is that so wrong?” appearing to be stuck in his own temporary world, Epel had accidentally let his own thoughts that had been boiling within him for quite some time slip out of his mind. His exclamation made sense at the moment, but now that he thought about it, why did he feel the need to say that again? Was it always this easy? Had he been concerning himself over his feelings for you for nothing? Was there something in the apple juice his grandparents had given him that gave him a sudden wave of coolness?

“Wait…” you cautiously looked at the boy as you struggled to believe what you had just heard, “Could you repeat that again for me, please?”

“I…I said that I love you, (Y/n),” Epel’s softened voice contrasted the determined expression coming from his light blue eyes. This was never what he planned to do during your short visit to Harveston, but there was just no going back, correct?

“Oh…” a hesitant mumble escaped your mouth as you fumbled with the now empty cup resting in your hands, “Then I have something to tell you, too.”

"What is it?”

“I’m afraid your existence in my life has done wonders to my racing heart. I may have to ask for yours in return,” you said with an infectious smile that sent shivers through Epel’s accelerating heart. 

“Hey,” the first year then feigned defensiveness at your confession, “Don’t steal my line. That’s rude.”

An amused laugh of yours sang throughout the warmth of Epel’s room, jokingly playing along with the boy’s bantering, “Aw, I’m sorry, is that surge of confidence of yours still working right now?”

“Yes, in fact, it is. Thanks for noticing.”

“No problem~” you said, pulling him into an affectionate side hug from the right, “And I love you too, Epel. Just so you know.”

Since when did you two ever get so bold? Epel wondered. He supposed he would have to ask his grandparents if they really did put something in that new apple juice. Like some kind of confidence juice, or whatever. 

Yeah, that’s right. Confidence juice. 

a/n: it just occurred to me that "confidence juice" could be taken as a reference to alcohol and i would just like to say that that is not what i meant by it at all 💀

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst imagines #epel felmier #twst epel #epel twst #epel twisted wonderland #epel felmier x reader #epel x reader #epel x you #pomefiore #blossom grove prompt event

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/10

What am I feeling today?

Just so so tired, I blame it on us losing an hour. Then again, I also went to bed later than usual bc we were traveling home. Still have some residual stress but it’s calming down, I trust that God will see me through for this week because He always has in the past.

Bible Plan: Healing what’s Hidden

God can handle our emotions

Emotions are like the check-engine light on a car. They don’t tell us exactly what’s wrong, but they alert us that something under the hood needs our attention.

I actually genuinely really love this analogy because that’s so true! You can feel something but have no idea where it could be coming from.

As we’re healing from trauma, it’s important to recognize what we are feeling, but we need to remember that emotions don’t tell the whole story—and they don’t always tell the truth. For example:

You may feel like no one cares about you. That’s a lie.

You may feel like God has abandoned you. He hasn’t.

You may feel like you aren’t going to make it through this trial. You will.

These are really great reminders because they’re thoughts and emotions that I’ve struggled with in the past and I want to get beyond them because I know what the truth is and shouldn’t rely on my emotions to determine what’s real.

The truth is, emotions are not indicative of the presence of God in our situation. Sometimes when we’re happy, we say that we feel God’s presence. Other times, we feel his presence when we weep. But we can be sure of God’s presence even when we can’t feel him. That’s because God’s presence isn’t a feeling; it’s a fact.

Just saying, this is so true!!

Feeling strong emotions isn’t indicative of a lack of faith. Jesus felt strong emotions, and no one would doubt his faith! God can take it when we feel desperate, furious, terrified, or overwhelmed. He wants us to bring the emotions to him and to let his Holy Spirit point us to the source of the emotions so that they can be healed.

This is comforting for me, because a lot of the time I can mentally kick myself for feeling too much or for being someone with such strong emotions and reactions. But there’s nothing wrong with that! The point instead is to take it to God instead of letting it reign over me.

It isn’t about controlling our emotions; it’s about engaging them and allowing God to teach us through them. Our feelings can lie to us, but God will always tell us the truth.

🥹 this is really good for me to read. Because I tend to have a problem with control and that’s why I didn’t like how emotionally I was, because I had no control over them. But it’s not about me controlling or in my case numbing my emotions, but letting God teach me something through it when I give them up to Him.

John 14:26-27 NIV

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy Spirit is the one that teaches and reminds us, that’s so cool! I think it’s amazing that we have a part of the trinity that’s literally living in us!! Also noting that He does not give as the world does and that we should remain at peace (yes it’s difficult and there will definitely be challenging times but we know we can rely on Him.

Philippians 4:5-7 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I need to get better about my prayer life. I know that I talk to God a lot but does that count as prayer if I’m not formally presenting it as such? Idk why but sometimes it’s just really hard for me to pray to Him and it really doesn’t make sense. But like I said, I need to get better about it because He wants us to talk to Him about everything!

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

He cares for us!!! Idc how many times I gotta read or reiterate it, it’s true and I need to have it as a constant reminder! Also, with my struggles, the solution is literally right in front of me, I just need to humble myself before Him.

#bible #quiet time #bible quote #bible scripture #bible study #bible verse #christian blog #christian faith #christian living #christianity #devo #faith in jesus #faith #devotional #disciple of christ #faith in god #jesus #daily devotional #jesus loves you #discipleship #jesus saves #love #saras devotionals #3/10

[exuberantocean]

Ted Lasso s3e01 - Observations

And anyone who guessed the starting close up for s3 was Ted would be right (I thought Keeley or Roy)

I also like that we can see some gray in the stubble (he’s in England so should I say grey instead?)

Also that text...oof  way to set up Ted’s headspace though.  That whole start was like a punch in the gut.

I’m adding the “I remember being left at school when I was Henry’s age” story as another to my list of “Ted’s parents not showing up/abandoning him” situations in his past...”Until my dad remembered to pick me up” 😭 )

Also what a crazy story all around though

And Ted cleaning up after Henry is all kinds of heartbreaking

Still uncertain if Ted’s flat has a bedroom for Henry.  I’d imagine he’d ask for one.  No clue if the fort and Ted’s bedroom is where he slept and, if so, if it was because he wanted to or had too. I suppose it doesn’t matter, just a little detail.

Is that a new shower scene or did they reuse the last one?  His hair looks longer in the shower than it does for the rest of the episode.

Brendan’s partner and kid!

Ted’s still nosy about Doc’s personal life which is...iffy to me but makes sense for his character

Rebecca.  Rebecca.  The thing is, this is exactly what Rupert’s after.  Whether you win or he does is, on a deeper level, immaterial.  He wants her obsessively thinking about him and he’s getting it.  The truth is, West Ham will sometimes win, sometimes lose and she needs to learn how to divorce (heh) her feelings about Rupert from the game. 

I’m glad that she has Higgins, Ted, and Keeley to bring her back down to what matters.  I hope she starts listening.  All three might need to be a bit more blunt going forward though.

Keeley babe.  I think you need help.  It’s 100% normal to be overwhelmed and I’m glad she’s reaching out but it sounds like maybe she’s trying to do too much too quickly.

I was thrilled that Higgins also has mascara stains.  I would hate to imagine the Higgins-Rebecca-Keeley trio is gone.  It thrills me that Higgins is still obviously in Keeley’s life

I love the team’s anxieties and the way Ted takes care of it.  I love Jamie stepping into “Ted Lasso” for the team shortly after.

I feel like the situation with Nate and Rupert really shows how well an abuser starts a toxic relationship.  Obviously they’re setting us up to look at Ted and Nate’s relationship some more this season, but I’m also hoping we get a look and Rebecca and Nate.  I feel like there’s some strong parallels there.  There always has been.

This is why I had Rebecca be the first one to talk to Nate in my fic “So Close”

I really thought the car thing was a good illustration of that.  It’s a gift but a rather backhanded one.  No fucking way Rupert didn’t know he was towing Nate’s car.  He set the whole situation up.

The whole conflict between Ted and Rebecca about taking the team to the sewers was interesting to me.  Something I think I need to think about.  But Ted’s doing the work that needs to be done and Rebecca’s worried about image.  “Rupert’s laughing at me, Ted.” But Rupert’s relationship to people and things is always shallow and condescending.  He’ll always laugh at Rebecca (or otherwise look down on her). That said, she’s not 100% in the wrong, as a business owner, to be concerned about image.  I’m not saying she’s right, just that she’s maybe not 100% wrong either (Ted was still right to do it, the need to get the team out of their own head was more important.) idk I need more time to think about it.

Not 100% sure I like the scene with Ted mocking himself.  I get why he did it and it was effective, but particularly when it came to mocking his own mental health.  It made me wince both because we know Ted’s struggling already with anxiety and probably some amount of depression and because, well, a lot of people with mental health struggles really aren’t taken seriously.

Overall, a great episode and good start to the season!

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso #spoilers

[soup-for-ghosts]

talk ant temenos. for the ask thing :3

First impression

something along the lines of “wow this guy is so funny what is wrong with him (affectionate)” and the murder mystery neuron kicking in

Impression now

oh so THAT’S what’s wrong with him. ok. genuinely one of my favorite characters ever, and uh. also ow? what the heck?? I wasn’t prepared for a personal callout post!!

but yeah temenos is such a good character… and while I do have a few gripes with how his story was handled, I have no gripes with how he himself was written. and those ex skills… so many thoughts about those… I could go into more depth into my thoughts on him but I’ll save that for another place at another time

Favorite moment

all of them /j

ok but seriously, I loooooove the scenes with arcanette. I hate her. I hate her so much, but oooooo those scenes are so goooooood… the placid mask dialogue hits… I didn’t trust mindt from the beginning, but THIS was something else. him yelling at her not to speak of everyone he’s lost in the process of getting here… gahhh it’s just so good….

Idea for a story

uh?? idk what to put for this

Unpopular opinion

also dunno what to say for this one really

Favorite relationship

ok I have two and yes they’re the obvious ones

first is his relationship with crick which give me the 🤨 look all you want but listen. I’m not even talking about the ship this time, I just mean their general dynamic, which yes is very goofy at times but it’s also so complex and interesting. especially when you get into everything crick tells him in chapter 3 stormhail. I don’t like.. I don’t like crick’s death from a literary perspective, idk I just never enjoyed characters being killed for the sole purpose of making you hate the villain or for the emotional appeal particularly when said character is clearly at their lowest point. meeting temenos lead to crick having to learn to doubt (for lack of a better term pf) everything he has ever known, and that has practically brought him to a pit of despair in chapter 3 stormhail and idk I think he deserved the chance to claw his way out of that pit and actually get to learn what faith really means to him and stuff. and also it would be interesting for temenos’ character if one person survived, he already pushes people away out of fear of losing them, if he thought it was just happening again, but it didn’t, he still lived, how would he react to that? how would he develop and move on from that? idk it’s just more interesting to me, but again, conversation for another day, the important part is, their dynamic is very fun and also genuinely interesting, and I like how their characters develop throughout the game because of each other

the second is everyone’s favorite detective duo, temenos and throné. I am a claudelet temenos truther, so siblingisms real, but besides that, their crossed paths and travel banters really hit me I think. my favorite travel banter of all time is one of theirs, “the wool dilemma,” from throné chapter 3 father’s route. wherein throné asks temenos to tell her a story to get her mind off of all. that. and he tells her about this wool dilemma, where wool keeps the sheep warm, but because of that, a lamb never truly feels the warmth of their parents. throné’s response is “I’m not a sheep,” and that to me speaks volumes. she understood exactly why temenos chose this story to tell her, she understands him perfectly. and that’s saying a lot! temenos has a travel banter with osvald in his chapter 5 where osvald explicitly states that temenos never says what he means and it is very confusing and people are bound to misunderstand him. osvald, resident genius scholar, struggles to understand temenos, but throné understands him perfectly. and then their crossed paths… they both have a lot of pent up grief that they are not really… addressing or conveying and they end up working together to tie loose ends both for themselves and others. alpates…… but yeah, they’re a very good duo and the devs made a very good decision having them as a crossed paths duo. I like them a lot….

Favorite headcanon

silly one, but I always loved the headcanon that his eyes glow blue when he’s doing his little “the truth lies in the flame” thing. it’s just fun to me pf, also it looks sick as hell, especially when it’s used outside of just those segments and in scenes like the battle against kaldena and stuff

#thank you for letting me talk about my favorite cleric ever bonnie #asks #bonnielunkas #ask games #octopath traveler 2 spoilers

[shurismainbxtch]

pastors are the same people who will sweep pedophilia under the rug but as soon as somebody is gay they’re going to hell 💀. That’s why I been stopped going to church.. most pastors don’t know what they’re talking about.

Exactly like its sad that thats even a thing with pastors. As soon as two consenting adults love each other its a problem, but when its non consensual…its crickets and they don’t care.

I stopped going to church after being forced to listen to this pastor make the church feel bad for not providing enough money for 2 things. Some event they were doing and the pastor that came in that day. He said the pastor shouldn’t be leaving with less than $1000 in his pocket. They counted the money and then came back and said that and made them give more money. I just don’t like how they make it seem like these pastors are Jesus himself and deserve all the money in a world just bc they give a 2 hour sermon and i felt it was insensitive bc this was during the pandemic so people were already struggling and it was a small church like wtf is wrong with y’all?

Also, I forgot during praise and worship I think I was the only one sitting down not dancing and clapping bc idk i just never connected with church like that so I can’t fake and act like I’m enjoying myself and the pastor said some slick shit about it so i was just over church atp. I’m glad I’m grown now so I don’t have to be forced to go anymore😭

[fallingsunflower]

Thanks love ♡ :) Would you mind just clarifying the question? Are you asking my thoughts on Harry and how his team molds him? Or something different? Just want to make sure I answer correctly! /// Yeah! asking about what do you think his team's weaknesses are and what do you think would be better thing for you to see come out of Harry and the way he is looked at by the media? I just want your thoughts on Harry and his team and maybe other people could answer too? Thank you again!

no problem, happy to answer :)

I suspect Jeff’s had his eye on Harry for a loooong time since the 1D days, which seems plausible because they’ve been friends for a while. I suspect Jeff whispered in his ear how great a solo career would be, hence a slight shift I picked up on during 1D. I blame Harry entirely for why 1D split up (I’m not angry about it - just my opinion). I think at the time he was young and impressionable and placed all his trust in other people beside himself, which is something I think he struggles with till this day. He reminds me as someone who knows what he wants and is confident up until a point before feeling the need to ask for permission (generally speaking). I think he deals with some attachment issues, plus a sprinkle of anxiety and depression. I worry it might worsen if he doesn’t slow down because he doesn’t seem to have many friends, or rather close friends, that he doesn’t work with and the people he DOES work with seem somewhat fame hungry. I think they care about Harry but not in the way he needs, but of course I could be wrong. Like for example Jeff strikes me at the type to run over right away if Harry falls down to make sure he’s okay, but then say “don’t you want to get back up?” which passive aggressively inserts his own opinion into Harry’s and kind of twists him into believing Jeff’s wants are his own. Does that make sense? It’s just a vibe I get based off of a couple interactions I’ve seen. I think Harry’s team is pushy and manipulative but they don’t realize it fully, and Harry is easily moldeable and also doesn’t entirely realize he might be taken advantage of (although I could also suspect he realizes something is wrong but doesn’t know exactly what). All he’s known is Simon Cowell and Jeffrey Azoff. Jeff prob seemed like God above coming to save him from 1D and now he can’t leave him - aka the attachment issues I mentioned earlier (again my opinion) and Jeff knows it. And I think the other members of Harry’s team are piggybacking and riding the fame train. Harry Styles has become a brand but personally, I’d rather know Harry the person.

In my dream world, and this is going to be controversial, I would love to see Harry open up a little more. Maybe make his Instagram more personal. Post for his mom’s birthday. Talk about how grateful he is for his fans. Share what he’s doing every once in a while. Share some of his feelings about love and places he likes, maybe his favorite recipe or book. I’d also want to see him openly support other artists/people just because and not when it’s convenient for him. I also think he should better communicate with his fans. I think the relationship between him and his fans has turned into a relationship between God and her followers, which it shouldn’t be. It seems unhealthy and I fully believe if he set boundaries and talked about it, we would see a major shift in a positive way. I would also like to see him promote his OWN things, such as Pleasing, Gucci HaHaHa, his own songs or movies. It all comes across as such an impersonal money thing sometimes and it’s such a turn off for me personally.

I think that ^^ it partially Harry’s decision from not wanting to be on social media that often which is fair, but I also think his team is egging it on. Keeps him “mysterious” and a blank canvas so his fans can idolize him and he can appeal to a larger percentage of people. Pick a category and you can almost always put him in that box if you look at it from that perspective.

Idk if this fully answers the question. Harry’s teams weaknesses, imo, are sprinkled into my response. I just think they want to be big and famous and everything else isn’t as important.

Happy to talk more about it :)

Also just to stress again, this is just my opinion. I can already sense the angry asks lmao

[chaersly]

more than like? | huh yunjin x f!reader

pairing non-idol! huh yunjin x f!reader

genre fluff??? idk help// mutual pining

synopsis you overhear your roommate, who conveniently happens to be your best friend that you may have feelings for, crying in her room. who would’ve thought she was crying over... you?

warnings IDK mentioned homophobia like once??? not that serious tho (I MEAN THE MENTION OF HOMOPHOBIA NOT HOMOPHOBIA ITSELF!!!!) honestly this is a rlly badly written short fic it feels like i wrote this a long time ago 😵‍💫

wc 1.4k

(short texts)

you

hey are you okay? i can hear you crying you know

jen ❤️

what

jen ❤️

im not the one crying

you

??? cmon i know u

seen. 00:47a.m.

you

you wanna talk?

we don’t have to if you don’t want to. i’m just asking

:)

jen ❤️

door’s open

i knock on her door, catching a soft “come in” before i entered yunjin’s room. i slowly peeked and i found her, knees to her chest, beside her bed on her favourite furry rug. i take small steps as i observe her. her eyes are teary and swollen, a slight tint on her cheeks, and she was biting her lower lip. i sat on the rug next to her.

“hi.” i said simply, like i was testing the waters, checking her condition. she whispered it back, so soft i almost missed it. “she must be struggling a lot...” i thought to myself. i carefully put my hand over her own that rested on her knee, trying to signal to her to hold my hand. she glanced over at me and gave me a boxy lip smile before entwining our hands. “you wanna tell me what’s up?” i ask, trying to make my tone as gentle and welcoming as possible. without even batting an eyelid, she shook her head vigorously. “you... you wouldn’t understand. you’ll judge me...” taken aback, i quickly assured her. “judge you? i wouldn’t. i could never...” i squeezed her hand a little tighter. she sniffed, sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

“no, you don’t get it. many people would hate me for this but,” she sniffs. “but i think you’d hate me the most.”

my heart shattered.

why would she think i’d ever hate her? if only she knew she’d gotten it completely wrong...

“i promise, i will not. pinky promise, okay? you know i never go back on my words.” i reached out my free hand, pinky out, waiting for her to do it back. she stared at my hand, then into my eyes, and i could’ve sworn she looked at something else for a brief moment... and eventually she locked our pinkies.

“so, tell me what’s up. why are you in... this state?” i asked, hoping she wouldn’t back out now.

“i think,” she pauses, lets out a breath.

“i- i think i like...” she pauses again.

“you like someone?” i ask, cutting her off. she shakes her head, but she quickly catches herself. “well, yea? but that’s not the problem,” she looks at me, her eyes apologetic. “i, um, i think i like girls.”

oh, i get it now. as i heard those words fall out of her mouth, my mind went blank. the familiar feeling of butterflies resurfaced, yet this time she hadn’t even done anything. “keep your cool,” i mentally scolded myself. “she wouldn’t fall for you anyway. you guys are supposed to be friends.”

“so, this person... the person you like is a girl? and that’s how you realised?” she nodded in response. i shifted myself, body facing her now. “wait so, you were afraid that i’d be... homophobic?” i mean, why else would she think i’d hate her, right? yet she shook her head and sighed. “no! no... well, sort of? not exactly but... argh it’s difficult to explain. i can’t...”

“why not? why else would you be afraid to tell me?”

“BECAUSE!” i could hear the frustration in her voice. it’s you! i... i like you...” i couldn’t even believe the words that came out of her mouth. huh yunjin? jennifer huh? my best friend jen, likes... me? is the world ending? i could feel her hand tense up, she seemed unsure of whether or not to let go of mine. i squeezed it tight, not allowing her to let go. i rubbed my thumb against the back of her hand.

“do you mean it? i mean, you’re not... joking? this isn’t some type of prank...?” i ask cautiously.

the thing is, i have feelings for yunjin. jennifer huh... i’ve had feelings for her since the moment we became close friends. as time passed, my feelings just kept growing. even when i was annoyed at her, even when i didn’t talk to her for 2 whole weeks, trying to rid myself of these feelings. i thought i had pushed away my feelings, just let her go. but, deep down, they were just growing, slowly but surely, until it all just resurfaced. and i hated it. i hated myself for liking my best friend. i hated that every time i was with her, all i could think about was how she made me feel. i couldn’t help but feel my cheeks burn up every now and then whenever we hung out. i made a promise to myself a few months back that i would try to stop these feelings so i wouldn’t accidentally ruin our friendship. now that she’s telling me she likes me, i don’t know how to feel. and, how can i trust her? what if this is all a prank, and then i end up confessing, and she ends up hating me because she doesn’t feel the same. so many what ifs... plus, this went against my promise to myself. and i absolutely, hated breaking promises.

“of course it’s not a prank! i.. i wouldn’t joke around about something like this...” that’s true, yunjin isn’t the type of person to mess around about her feelings. “i told you... you’d hate me for it. i’m sorry. i know i’m weird for falling for my best friend. i shouldn’t have let my feelings-”

“jen, listen. i, um,” i close my eyes and take a deep breath. “i like you too. and i’m not saying this to be nice or anything, i actually have liked you for quite some time...” i confessed.

my heart was beating quicker than it had ever beaten and i felt like it was going to stop anytime soon. i suddenly realised i’m still squeezing her hand. i loosen my grip, hand almost slipping away from hers, but this time, it was her turn to catch me. instantly, she interlocked our fingers and grasped my hand with the same strength i used on her earlier.

“you, really like me? but i... i thought you didn’t like...” she hesitated. “girls?” i finished her sentence. “yea, i didn’t know i liked them either until... well, you.” i stared into her eyes, and i knew for sure this time that i wasn’t going crazy. earlier on, she had glanced at my lips ever so quickly that i almost missed it, and she just did it again. “now it makes sense...” i thought to myself. my breath was suddenly unstable and my heart started to beat quick again — or maybe it hadn’t even calmed down from a moment ago.

“can i... um...” her eyes flickered down to my lips. without even thinking, i leaned in, lips landing on hers.

this was my first actual kiss, and i know it was hers too. yet, it felt so natural. it was slow, and soft. the way our lips moved in line with the other’s...

i was head over heels for this girl. no, i am head over heels for this girl.

i pulled away slowly, and my feelings were all over the place. i was excited, yet nervous, a little scared, but extremely happy?

“was that, good?” she asked. but i didn’t want it to end so fast. giving her a nervous smile, i responded, “um, i’m not sure. maybe we should try again? to get... better?” she chuckled and her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink.

this time, she leaned into me. again, our lips connected, the kiss slow and passionate. i unlocked my hand from hers and put my two hands together behind her neck. i inched closer to her, quickly catching her lips after she pulled away for a breath. i couldn’t stop myself. it was my first, and it felt so magical. the butterflies in my stomach never left.

we finally pulled away from each other, catching our breaths. when we locked eyes, i could see her whole face turn bright pink and she couldn’t stop smiling. she looked down and covered her face, but i instinctively reached out for her hand. “no, you’re cute.” i blurted, pulling her hand away from her face. she furrowed her eyebrows and let out a small whine. “stop! my face is so red already...” she whispered that last part.

and if it was even possible i felt myself falling in love yet again. and maybe, just maybe, i would break a promise just this once. just so i could feel happy with the one i like... no, it’s... it’s more than like.

#el oh el #le sserafim #huh yunjin #my queen #this is bad #im sorry #antifragile

[a-writhing-mass]

Hi I just need to say your dalek fic has scratched so much of my brain itches and I love it. It’s beautiful prose, and I really wanna get more into the other daleks brains, especially thay’s since we haven’t gotten to see her mindset yet. It all makes me think of Sec basically attracting like minded weirdos that didn’t fit in as well to the dalek empire either and finding solace that they aren’t the only ones after all, even if it’s buried deep under like twenty layers of repression. Idk, I just really relate to the idea of ‘struggling to fit in with society and almost breaking because of its expectations until you find others struggling just as much as you and finally you can carve out your own space now’. Of course that’s just me projecting, might not even be what you intended with it all, but hey it’s what my brain started thinking.

Ahh thank you so much for the comment. I'm glad some folks seem to enjoy it. <3

Gunna put my rambling reply under a cut to spare folks walls of text~

I hope you don’t mind me replying. And don’t worry if you feel like you're projecting anything – we all do that at some point. We all need someone or something to relate to. I totally understand the feeling of not fitting in. It's probably why I find I often relate more to the non-human or least popular characters in media.

As for the Cult I’ve been using their little origin story, Birth of a Legend as a base for trying to figure them out. It’s the only other bit of ‘canon’ media about them I’m aware of.

Granted there’s not even much to work from in that, sadly. It's only a few pages long and was clearly written for children (nothing wrong with that!) but don't expect anything particularly deep or expansive should you get your hands on a copy of it.

The only clues to the other Daleks personalities might have is the ranks they had before the Cult of Skaro was created and the scant few lines they had in the show. In that story the Emperor put them together and gave them their names because they showed ‘rare initiative’ - although we only learn of what Sec did to catch the Emperor’s eye.

As nice of an idea it would be that a group of oddball Daleks would form on their own accord (Genuinely, would love to see such a story!) I could only really see it happening in extreme circumstances - and said group would immediately have to go into hiding to avoid being punished, probably exterminated, by their own kind, or other advanced species for that matter (technically this has happened before in the comics - but with Alpha and Beta, and those Daleks had initially been humanised by the Doctor. Unfortunately their end wasn't exactly a happy one either).

I don't really see the Emperor allowing an unconventional group like the Cult of Skaro to have such power without having approved it all in the first place - the Emperor apparently doesn't even allow more than three Daleks to have a meeting without his approval first. There's a word for it in the Dalek dictionary, if you consider that canon (at least it's something Terry Nation wrote). (Brindigulum- "a conference or talk between four or more Daleks. None may be held without the Emperor Dalek's agreement.") He is quite the paranoid, tyrannical, little critter and I think it only serves to imply just how desperate he was getting before he created the Cult. I'm not even convinced even the Emperor views them as a good thing, considering he named them a 'Cult'. That suggests he wants other Daleks to be wary and critical of them.

But despite all that, it's still entirely possible, probable even, the Cult developed some kind of camaraderie and solace from being in one another’s company for so long. Even, as you say, if it's buried under ‘20 layers of repression’.

I think it’ll be fun to develop their personalities further. Other than Sec, I think it likely Jast is the most open to change. He’s quiet and observant, and was the Force Leader of the Outer Rim Defensive Battalion.

Thay seemed to be the most outspoken one, maybe even a little argumentative. My guess is she might like discussion and brainstorming ideas– being the one with the scientist background (Commandant of a very secretive research station, Station Alpha). And I know some may argue Thay ‘slipped up’ when talking to the Cybermen and revealing their species but I think it was intentional. The Daleks wouldn’t want to talk in circles for long. They had a mission to complete.

Caan, once an ‘Attack Squad Leader’, I imagine being a bit sneaky. A bit ambitious. Very aggressive. And also perhaps the most loyal – though during the events of the Manhattan arc that loyalty was stuck on the Dalek Empire, then when we saw him later in the finale of the 4th series his loyalty had 180’d to Sec and the Doctor. I think he’d be the hardest to ‘break’.

And I think they’d all be rather imaginative and inventive (up to a point) otherwise they never would have intrigued the Emperor so.

Considering the Dalek’s ancestors were once peaceful philosophers, scientists and teachers I like to think that they all still retain those traits. They’re just buried deep. Very deep. And any sense of peace has been beat and brainwashed out of them. It'll take a lot of work to undo all that and pull those old traits back out into the open.

[menalez]

>quintissential pink washing wait have i've said something wrong? i'm sorry if i came across as obtuse or anything, like i said i am pro-palestine and definitely care about the obvious genocide they're facing right now. i do agree that now is not the time to play identity politics or w/e, i just also want to care for gay people whenever they bring up homophobia in other groups because of course i'm against homophobia no matter what. i do think it's tone deaf for white western gay men and lesbians to talk about the hamas homophobic sentiments during a genocide, but it's like. palestenian homosexuals exist too???? and i worry that after all is said and done, they might murder muslim gay people regardless of the outcome of this situation. i am not gay nor muslim so i can't really talk about this anyway, but yeah i just wanted your thoughts as a mena lesbian yourself so that i can learn more

i mean yes exactly palestinian gay ppl exist too so like i’m not saying support hamas or sth but using israel’s talking points about how they’re better bc they’ve got gay rights (not even true, theyre just not as bad in that regard) is indeed partaking in pinkwashing. very often when people discuss stuff like racism against MENA people or hate crimes against muslims or how our countries are being actively destroyed by the west, ppl will almost justify it by saying that supporting us and not wanting us to die and our countries to be in shambles is somehow supporting homophobia. or they’ll be like “yeah but the homophobia there is so bad” like .. yes? and how is destroying our countries supposed to change that? and it’s quite annoying that these topics get brought up at a time like this for example when palestinians are being killed at such high rates. including gay palestinians. one of my dear friends is a gay palestinian guy and he also made a similar comment to the one ur quoting and it comes from the frustration of only seeing ppl care about gay rights in our countries (& using gay rights in our countries to victimise themselves rather than. yanno thinking about the gay people who actually live there and have to deal with the homophobia) when we’re being bombed or killed or otherwise seriously harmed as a population.

i feel like when ppl want to discuss homophobia in the middle east, they very often do it in this .. tonedeaf way. i’ve had to deal with white & western people literally try to use the homophobia in my country against me, to demonise ME for being brown & born into islam, as if it hasn’t directly affected me & has never affected them. it’s so frustrating having ur own struggles used against u in order to then justify the harm against u or even move the discussion from ur people being killed. idk how else to say it, but basically i get why brown ppl get frustrated when white western gay ppl see our countries being destroyed and decide now is the time to talk about how if they lived in our countries they would totally face homophobia therefore our countries are bad. maybe there’s ppl who go about it in a better way but i’ve generally seen it done in a way that almost dismisses our struggles & centres themselves, hence my distaste

(also don’t worry u don’t need to apologise, im not angry at u or sth im just trying to explain how i’ve seen this phenomena. might look for what my friend has said about it as a gay palestinian bc he’s definitely way better at expressing his thoughts than i am)

[blackwoolncrown]

I just believe it’s totally off-center to project anger at someone who is objectively worse off than you. You can dislike what they do to you, you can hold boundaries with them, but really being pissed at them? Telling them to fuck off and shit? It’s too much like punching down. 

Despite the hardship I’m passing through right now, my life is otherwise comfortable. There are times when I pass people asking for money outside a store or on a street corner and don’t have any cash to give them. I pass them in my car or go inside a store and buy exactly what I came there to get.

Whatever in the world that person wanted to think or say about me, whether accurate or not, is not only their right to think, but not something I’d go out of my way to keep them from doing. If they wanted to talk shit about me or give me a judgy look, so be it. I get it. I’m objectively doing well and they are struggling.

And whether or not it’s totally fine for me to get the things I want (it is) and whether or not my help would actually fix their situation... idk like, it’s still understandable if they have words about people like me not doing more to help them dude.

And I can still go get my groceries just fine while thinking about that. I don’t need to make sure no one makes me think about it. My feelings, my mind and my life are my job to handle.

Strangers on the internet mentioning frustration at going hungry while ppl pay for blazed posts and blue checks aren’t actually stopping you from buying them and they aren’t doing anything wrong. If you want them to shut up I really need you to do some digging in your own mind and ask why.

Like, why are you even reacting? Why does it bother you? Tap into that.

Bc you could just scroll instead of shitting on poor ppl, the vast majority are systematically marginalized to a frightening degree.

[boiledhotdogwater]

hey!! can i have a match-up with someone from jujutsu kaisen? i really like your work. thank you!

gender: i’m a girl, she/her pronouns

gender preference: guys

mbti: ISFP

personality: i come across as chill and easygoing to strangers/people who don’t know me, but with people i know i’m more talkative, warm, and i laugh a lot! i love humor and joking around with others. i have a liking for art too! i have a bunch of interests that i enjoy discussing about. i don’t struggle with talking to strangers, but it can get a little awkward ! i’d say i’m pretty sensitive and emotional, and have low self-esteem. however, that leads to me being pretty in tune with my emotions and also others. it’s also easy for me to get moody and irritated. i also think i tend to worry/overthink a lot lol. it’s hard for me to express love through words, so i usually do so through actions! i like to have fun and have stability in my life, if that makes sense lol. despite this, i keep some things to myself. 

when i have a crush (quite often tbh,, :’), i tend to get really excited and gushy and kinda unpredictable…i read this passage from @/mbti-notes on tumblr and think that this perfectly encapsulates it: “their feelings ebb and flow…[isfps] look for opportunities to be alone with you, smile at you more warmly, giggle at your jokes, take more interest in you, compliment you, ask you detailed questions about your life, try to extend conversations, etc. These ISFPs can appear more assertive but their confidence actually stems from nervous impulsivity.” i can also send mixed signals bc i freak out easily if something goes “wrong” (#overthinker 😍)

my giving love language is acts of service, and receiving i think is words of affirmation and quality time (maybe acts of service too idk ahhh)

kin(s): i don’t really have any but maybe maki kuwana from blue period? i don’t know if she’s EXACTLY like me but we share a few things in common !

likes: art!!, manga, junk food, hanging out with friends, winter, video games (pokemon, undertale, animal crossing), citylife

dislikes: bugs, science, extreme heat, annoying ppl

hopefully this wasn’t too long to read but enough : ‘ )  if it was i’m sorry,, thank you so much!!!

A/N: ok what you said about crushes is SO REAL (I’m an isfp too hehe) I’m literally the same way

For Jujutsu Kaisen I match you with…

Inumaki Toge!

- Inumaki is similar to you in the way he appears chill at first, but when he begins to feel comfortable around you, he is always joking around! The two of you would be a dynamic duo for sure and laughter can always be heard whenever you two are around

- Inumaki also has difficulties expressing his emotions through words (I wonder why LMAO) so he shows his love through acts of service like gift giving, cooking for you and helping you with tasks!

- The two of you spend time hanging out inside watching mangas and eating snacks, and you run around each other’s islands on animal crossing!

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk matchup #inumaki toge #inumaki toge x reader

[yourqueenb]

Gab

Since we’re on the topic of MC’s flirting, can we just quickly talk about how bad some of the dialogue was? 😬 Not exactly a narrative issue, but still prominent enough that it needs to be commented on because it only got worse as the story progressed. And honestly it wasn’t just the corny pickup lines. It was also the excessive interjections and puns during fight scenes. But I don’t want to waste too much time on this because it isn’t exactly unique to this book. Choices has its fair share of cringeworthy lines in other books. I think it was just intensified in this one because of all the other blunders they made.

Gear

Something that was more of a problem for this particular story was the gadgets. The cool devices and weapons agents get to use have always been a notable part of the spy genre. But imo the ones in this book were lame af and also kind of few and far between. We got an electric glove, the Identi-print, infrared goggles, and an electrostick (which was somehow still supposed to be enticing even though we already had the glove). Like these people work at what’s most likely a multi-million, maybe even billion, dollar agency. Why is the woman they were originally tasked to use as an informational asset basically reinventing the wheel and making clunky items that GAIA has probably had stored in their basement for 10+ years?

And despite what it may sound like, this is more of a dig at the writers than Vivian because I don’t actually mind that she was making things for MC and the LI. But where is the imagination??? Idk I just find it hard to believe that they couldn’t come up with anything better than a fingerprint scanner, something you can buy online, and two objects that do the same thing for diamond choices 😒 If anything, the scanner and goggles should’ve been free. And they could’ve chosen one of either the glove or electrostick to include as one of a few other premium gadgets offered throughout the book.

The one positive was that all of the items truly were extras (as premium options should be). But even with that, none of them were used enough to make them worth it. I got the electric glove, which I believe was used the most and was probably also the most novel of the options. But honestly, I could’ve gone without it. So I’m glad I didn’t waste diamonds on any of the other ones.

Garb

Last but certainly not least though was the fashion. Y’all know I have to at least mention it. I was sorely disappointed in pretty much every outfit except for the auction dress. And I really shouldn’t be surprised because PB is known for making ugly outfits atp. But this was their chance to redeem themselves just a little bit. Yet as per usual, the did not understand the assignment.

A spy should literally and figuratively be dressed to kill always. Sleek, sexy, and sophisticated. Those are some of the other qualities I think of when I hear the word. But the wardrobe we got was the exact opposite of those things. An ill-fitting casino dress, a boring suit, diaper pants. A MESS. Not to mention the fact that they did actually create another decent outfit, but it was completely the wrong time for MC to be wearing it! Like why would I pay to give her pneumonia and frostbite because she’s wearing a bra top in the middle of a Russian snowstorm 🤦🏽‍♀️ And this is coming from someone who normally doesn’t mind slightly unrealistic outfits in these kinds of books/movies because those types of things are usually close to my style. But they had to know that was ridiculous 😒 And I’m afraid I’ll never understand why the closet is something Choices constantly struggles with.

#choices tpa #choices the phantom agent #playchoices #when I tell y’all I was incredibly disappointed in the clothes and the gear I really think that’s an understatement #especially because I hate the TH:M MC faces as well #like why were the only weapons we got to use a standard gun and two electric items IF you bought them #where’s my safe house with a secret room filled with cool stuff and sexy outfits 😭 #long post