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#and she got really pissed off at me for NOT just that… which I don’t understand why????
luv-sims · 2 days
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I’m in love with you!
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ ౨ৎ⋆ ˚。⋆
you and jay had always despised each other- at least that’s what you thought until jay got a girlfriend, your true hidden feelings making its way to the surface- uh oh.. listen to this while reading <3
⊹ ࣪ ˖ park jongseong x fem reader ⊹ ࣪ ˖
warnings ; angst, heartbreak, skinship, kissing, proofread but if there’s any mistakes… oops!! (⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
(everyone!! pls lmk if u wanna be added to my perm taglist<33)
2.5k 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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you had known park jay for as long as you could remember, and you had hated him for nearly just as long. from the very first moment you laid eyes on him in kindergarten, he had been nothing but a thorn in your side. it all started when you had asked the young boy to be friends- instead of a yes, you got water spat on your face as he cackled at you- yes, cackled. you despised him. his teasing, his smirks, his constant attempts to one-up you in every single aspect of life—it all grated on your nerves, day after day.
the relationship between you and jay was well-known. your friends and family had long since accepted it as a fact of life. you couldn't bare to stand him, and he couldn't stand you. it’s as simple as that.
until it wasn't.
the first crack in your carefully constructed wall of hatred came when jay got a girlfriend. her name was minji, and she was everything you were not—soft-spoken, gentle, and sweet. she was always by his side, laughing at his jokes, holding his hand. it shouldn't have mattered to you at all. in fact, you should have been relieved. if he was busy with his girlfriend, maybe he would leave you alone for once in your years of living.
but it didn't feel like relief. it felt like something else entirely, something you knew was wrong, something sharp and painful that you couldn't quite place. you found yourself watching them more than you would care to admit, your eyes drawn to the way he looked at her, his eyes sparkling, the way he touched her. and with each passing day, the ache in your chest grew stronger, more insistent. more unbearable.
you really did try to ignore it, to push it away deep inside of you and pretend it didn't exist, but it was no use. the feelings you had harboured for so long, hidden beneath layers of anger, resentment, and pride were bubbling up to the surface. you were falling for him, and you were falling deep. it was the most terrifying thing you had ever experienced as a teenage girl.
so, you did the only reasonable thing you could think of, you avoided him. you stopped going to places where you knew he would be, you stopped engaging in the petty arguments that had once been a staple of your interactions and everyday life. you had distanced yourself as much as you possibly could, hoping that the feelings would fade away with time.
but jay noticed. of course he did. and he didn't like it one bit.
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one evening after school, after yet another successful day of avoiding jay, you found yourself cornered in the hallway of your apartment building, which he knew the address of from a day where you were sick, and delivered you your missed homework and soup, which he claimed he was forced to deliver to you.
he had been waiting for you, his expression a mixture of confusion, a bit of sadness? and anger.
"what's your problem, y/n?" he demanded, his voice low and tense. "why have you been avoiding me, huh?"
you crossed your arms, shaking off the butterflies from talking to him for the first time in weeks, trying to keep your composure. "i haven't been avoiding you," you lied, your voice shaken and unsteady
"bullshit," he snapped. "you've been avoiding me for weeks. did i do something to piss you off more than usual? because if i did, ill fix it.”
you swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. "it's nothing, don’t worry. just leave me alone, jay."
"no," he said, stepping closer. "i won't leave you alone until you tell me what's going on, y/n." he whispered.
his proximity made it hard to breathe, let alone think. the scent of his cologne, the intensity of his gaze—it was all way too much for you to bare. you could feel the walls you had so carefully built around your heart beginning to crumble.
"why do you care?" you shot back, your voice trembling anxiously. "you have minji now. go bother her for all i care!”
jay's eyes narrowed, his expression darkening with a frown. "this isn't about minji. this is about you and me. why are you avoiding me?"
"because i can't stand you! being around you!" you shouted angrily, the words bursting from you before you could stop them.
"why?" he demanded, his voice rising. "what did i do that's so bad you can't even be in the same room as me?"
you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. but the emotions that have been building inside you the past few weeks were too strong, too overwhelming. you couldn't keep them bottled up any longer.
"because i’m in love with you, okay?" you yelled, tears streaming down your face. "i love you, and it hurts to see you with somebody that’s not me..”
for a moment, there was silence. jay stared at you, his eyes wide with shock. the world seemed to stand still, the only sound the pounding of your heart in your ears, as you cursed under your breathe shutting your eyes anxiously in panic.
"you… love me?" he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
you nodded, unable to speak. the confession had left you feeling raw and vulnerable, and you didn't know what to do next.
jay's expression hardened, and without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart shattered into a million pieces as you fell onto your knees and sobbed, you sobbed for your broken heart and for the loss of the relationship you had with jay- gone forever.
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the next two weeks were a blur of constant pain and complete and utter embarrassment. jay ignored you completely, avoiding you at every turn. you threw yourself into your studies, trying to distract yourself from the aching heartbreak and void inside you. your friends noticed the change, but you couldn't bring yourself to explain. how could you tell them that the person you had hated for so long had become the one you loved? and even worse, broke your heart.
you saw jay and minji together more often than you would have liked. each time, it felt like a knife twisting in your heart. but you forced yourself to smile, to act like everything was fine. it was the only way you knew how to cope.
one day, while you were sitting in the campus courtyard, lost in your thoughts, someone sat down next to you. you looked up to see taehyun, one of your friends from class. his presence was a welcome distraction from the feelings inside you.
"hey," he said, patting your shoulder giving you a warm smile. "you look like you could use some company."
you smiled back, grateful for his kindness. "yeah, i guess i could."
taehyun was easy to talk to, he was kind and understanding, and before long, you found yourself laughing and joking with him. it was a relief to feel something other than pain for the first time in the last few weeks, even if it was only for a little while. he pulled you into a hug, after you had finally opened up about your situation and you let yourself relax in his embrace, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, sniffling away your tears.
unbeknownst to you, jay was watching from a distance. he had come to the courtyard to clear his head from everything, from the confusion and the dull feeling in his heart, but the sight of you with taehyun stopped him in his tracks. the way you laughed, the way you hugged him—it should have made him happy to see you smiling again after breaking your heart. but instead, it filled him with a burning jealousy and sadness.
seeing you with taehyun brought everything into sharp focus. and it suddenly hit him- he realized that he had been a fool, pushing you away when he should have been holding you close. he couldn't deny it anymore longer—he was deeply in love with you. and he couldn't stand the thought of losing you to somebody else.
jay knew what he had to do- that evening, jay broke up with minji. it was one of the hardest things he had ever done, she was a kind and sweet girl, but he knew it was the right thing. minji deserved someone who could love her- and that wasn’t him. his heart had always belonged to you.
the next day, jay found you sitting alone in the library, studying and deep in focus. he approached anxiously and cautiously, his heart feeling like it was about to explode in his chest.
"can we talk please?" he asked, his voice quiet.
you looked up, surprise and shock flickering in your eyes before looking down again. "kinda busy- what do you want, jay?"
he took a deep breath, steeling himself. "i'm sorry. for everything, y/n. i never should have ignored you. i was in denial, i was scared and confused, but that's no excuse."
you stayed silent anxiously playing with your fingers, waiting for him to continue.
"i broke up with minji," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "because i realized something that took a while for me to realize but i’m here now- i realized that i'm in love with you."
your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding in your chest. "you… you what?”
"i'm in love with you, y/n. i’m so in love with you" he repeated, his voice breaking as his eyes shined with sincerity. "i've been in love with you for a long time, but i was too stupid to see it. and when you told me how you felt, it scared the hell out of me. i didn't know how to handle it, so i pushed you away. but i can't do that anymore."
tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, your heart aching with a mixture of hope and fear. "do you really mean it?" you whispered.
jay nodded, his gaze unwavering. "i mean it. i love you. and if you'll give me a chance, i promise i'll do everything i can to make it up to you, please y/n.”
you searched his eyes, looking for any sign of deception. but all you saw was honesty, a raw vulnerability that took your breath away.
"i don't know if i can trust you," you said quietly, your voice trembling. "you hurt me, jay. a lot."
"i know," he said, his voice breaking as he cups your cheek, leaning his forehead against yours. "and i'm so, so sorry. but i'll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you can trust me. i promise."
for a long moment, you stayed silent, the weight of his words sinking in. and then, slowly, you nodded. "okay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "one chance, jay. but if you hurt me again, that's it. i'm done."
jay's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy. he reached out, taking your hand in his, looking into your eyes for permission as you nodded with a soft grin.
jays lips feel soft against yours, you spent many nights wondering what it would be like to be like to kiss jay, and it’s even better than you could’ve imagined.
and for the first time, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.
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the weeks that followed were a whirlwind of emotions. jay was true to his word, doing everything in his power to prove himself to you. he showed up at your door with your favourite coffee order every morning, walked you to your classes with your hand in his, and spent every spare moment with you. he was attentive, kind, thoughtful, and for the first time, truly present.
your friends noticed the change in him too. they saw the way he looked at you, hearts in his eyes and the way he treated you with a newfound gentleness and adoration. it was clear to everyone that park jay was a changed man, and it was all because of you.
but there were still moments of where you were in denial, times when the past hurt you felt would come back, casting a shadow over your happiness. the moment came to you on a rainy afternoon, the weather complimenting your mood as you sat together in a quiet café. the rain pattered against the windows, creating a soothing backdrop to your conversation.
jay gave you a knowing look as he reached across the table, taking your hand in his.
"i love you," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "i know i've said it before, but i need you to know how much you mean to me. you're my everything, so get those thoughts out of your head, mmh?”
he said pulling you into a soft kiss across the table.
tears welled up in your eyes at his words. it was everything you had ever wanted to hear, but the fear still lingered, a dark cloud over your heart.
"i love you too," you whispered, your voice trembling. "but i'm scared, jay. i'm scared of getting hurt again- it was so bad.” you said as you closed your eyes with a trembling voice.
jay's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes shining with determination and love. "i know," he said. "and i will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you have nothing to fear. i will never hurt you again, i promise baby.”
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time passed, and true to his word, jay continued to be the man you deserved. he was patient, understanding, and never once pressured you. he was there for you in ways he had never been before, and slowly but surely, the trust and reassurance began to appear.
one warm night, as you sat together on the same playground jay had rejected you on as kids, he pulled you into his arms, his lips brushing against your forehead.
"i can’t bare losing you," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. "you're my everything."
you looked up at him, your heart overflowing with love. "you won't," you said, your voice steady and sure. "we're in this together, you can’t get rid of me that easily."
you both threw your heads back, laughing together as the moonlight shined down on you.
and as he held you close, you knew that no matter what pain he had caused you before- you knew that your love for each other was stronger than anything else.
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@luv-sims
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bloodsadx · 3 days
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even the years that i retroactively have viewed as the most useless of my life have paid off. ive met and befriended many of my heroes from when i was down bad and doing nothing. however in spite of this any time im down im still like. well. i guess im going to jump into the fargo life size human mulcher and deboner (in order to become less full of blood). anyway every time im in an uber with my buddy anne she says the word transexual minimum like 6 times no matter what the vibe of the driver is and last night the uber driver told us to try the following pick up lines (which he called “jaw droppers”): when a girl asks your favorite food, say that “[you] don’t care about stuff like that, [you] want to get to know the flavor of [her] taste buds.” he insisted she’s never heard some shit like this before, so she’ll either like it and you’ll start making out, or if she’s “a more polite woman” she will be like ok ok, and at that point you say “i’m not trying to nourish your body, i’m trying to enrich your soul.” he said that you say that, this being the “jaw dropper,” and then you “can shove your tongue down her throat.” well me and my buddy anne were losing our minds in this uber. and then she started saying the word transsexual to refer to her previous partners and the guy became strictly quiet. well anyway. the moral of the post is, if you walk around a lot, you notice more stuff. i’ve been walking about 10-15 miles a day for the past few weeks and something i’ve been noticing a lot is one specific sticker around portland which ive seen i think sincerely about 300 different places in the past week. and i’ve been walking some really not well trodden, very annoying routes, and this guy has been putting stickers up in some really strange and not even particularly visible spots. and the thing is, i kind of don’t even like this guy’s sticker, but i do really like seeing it, so i really respect that guy. and last night i made direct eye contact with a guy as he put down a slice of pizza and took out a paint marker to write on a trash can. me personally if i made direct eye contact with someone as i was about to write on a trash can i would probably not do that.
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i’ve been making draft posts like this when i get home from a long walk and then not posting them nearly explicitly because i don’t want a bunch of people to read them. sometimes i let one fly and it does get like a hundred notes and i just get pissed off. a few months ago i got so mad about something i kept hitting the ground with sticks as hard as possible and trying to suplex trees and victorian house porch support beams at my friends houses. not to test my strength but rather to feel completely indignantly impotent and to feel myself fail against the weight of the world. i got into a bad car crash and have been disallowed by the weight of the world from driving endlessly and aimlessly through the country and instead have endlessly and aimlessly wandered by foot through a place i have lived in for 3 years but only recently have come to feel like i have any knowledge of. so its hard to say which years are more useless. the years where i was doing stuff people gave a fuck about or the years where i was doing stuff that hurt my legs and feet and i saw more stuff? well at the end of the day i suppose nobody can say for sure…after all, on the internet, nobody knows i’m a seaman.
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camgoloud · 6 months
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i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up
#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half#i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off#i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought)#out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could#use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just#genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time#one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me#which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help#and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task!#when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s#not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything#like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were#going to be about it#but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’#tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because.#you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered#was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible#for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking#men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here#there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t#clean shit either!#actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point#fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so#i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well#sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat#myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell#anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight#i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still#dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow#caseyposting
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lesbiansanemi · 2 months
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WARNING FOR ANIMAL DEATH/MUTILATION IN THE TAGS
I think I’ve figured out why it’s the stuff with my cats that gets me the most viscerally upset when it comes to my roommate and I think I need to tell him why that is… we had a talk and he apologized for a lot of stuff but I just feel like I need to explain why I react so intensely to him hating my cats/wanting me to get rid of them
#like there’s the obvious things I’ve said before that ANY pet owner would feel the same about obvious#but like. okay I love cats. I’ve loved cats my WHOLE life#not just cats but animals in general#animals were baby’s first special interest#and I grew up on a farm and I had usually at least 8 pets at a time growing up#that I got money for by doing odd jobs and you know as a child you can spend all your money on your hobbies#and I love animals so I had pets#specifically I always had at least 3-4 cars#*cats#my mom’s first husband hated cats… fucking DESPISED them#and he talked about hating them/getting rid of them all the time#and. well. when I ever did anything to really piss him off#(which you know as a nine year old could be something as simple as breathing too loudly or some shit)#he would kill them#that man killed probably like 20 cats#cuz even after I was old enough to process ‘don’t get more cats bad things will happen to them’#my mom would bring home cats cuz she ALSO loved and wanted cats#even when I would beg her not to because I knew they were going to die#she never cared because in that moment she wanted cats#and obviously this was awful and damaging#and now that I live on my own with my two cats who are my BABIES that I love and cherish#my roommate talking about hating them and wanting them gone….#yeah it’s uh. um. hitting some really specific nerves#obviously I do not think he would EVER EVER do something like that#because you know. he’s not an insane control freak who hates me and animals#it’s still hitting those nerves#and yeah I think I need to tell him that for us to start coming to an understanding#like i get you don’t LOVE my cats you don’t have to#but you can’t talk that way about them… or I’m going to get VERY upset and defensive#kaz rambles
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Maybe it’s the delusions again but maybe… just maybe….. everyone is out to get me
#so i got my passport photos taken today because.. it’s a thing you have to so sometimes#*to do#and the lady was like ‘can i take an email address to send the photos to?’ so i began to say my name#and girl tell me why this woman knew how to spell my last name#i’m obviously not going to dox myself here so this has to remain vague but i have a french last name that is notoriously hard to spell#like i have never not had to spell it out to people. but she heard me say it the one time and then spelled it for me????#never happens. absolutely disarming experience#and then she saw my confusion and gave me this weird little smile???#i was like. what does that mean. why do you know how to spell my name that less than 1000 people share#did my mom piss you off at some point. did my dad piss you off at some point. did i piss you off at some point and i’ve forgotten?#was it my niece?? maybe a distant relative??? who in my family line do you have beef with#like maybe it was a lucky guess and she also has a weird awkward french name but i doubt it somehow#and THEN i went in coopland’s for lunch and managed to snag a table that was next to where people were queueing for the counter#and while i was eating someone walked past me to join the queue and said ‘hiya’#i just gave the world’s most awkward nod because whoooo is this person#so then i looked behind me to get a closer look at her and make sure i hadn’t snubbed a really obvious person who i do in fact know#and she did not look familiar At All. which made the fact that she was giving me the evil eye that much weirder#maybe she was confused about why i was looking at her. maybe she just has rbf. maybe she was on the phone? maybe she thought i was someone#else and was mad at me for not being them. idk. but it was all a bit much#i didn’t like any of this. i don’t like when it feels like people know me but i don’t know them. feeling very truman burbank-esque#🎶I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY’S WAAAATCHING MEEEEEEE (AND I HAVE NO PRIVACY)🎶#anyway if you need me i’ll be rehydrating because i definitely didn’t buy a drink in coopland’s because i didn’t want to pay £1.25#for bottled water ✌🏻#personal
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stayathome-ts · 1 year
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Alright. Guess it’s time to cowboy up.
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nejiverse · 1 year
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‘FAMILY’ REUNION
Douma, Akaza, Kokushibo
In which Y/n sees everyone again after a long time. Based on the scene in the infinity castle. Fem! Reader
cw: nothing really, our boys here have a soft spot for y/n, suggestive if you squint really hard, reader is upper rank 2 and everyone else is pushed down a rank except for Kokushibo
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850 words
"Where's my Y/n-chan~", Douma whined, looking around the infinity castle.
"Your Y/n?", Akaza clicked his tongue. "She doesn't even like you".
Gyokko nodded to the corner. "She's over there taking a damn nap", he shook his head at her hopelessness. "Upper rank two my ass".
Douma looked at where Gyokko was nodding towards where he saw Y/n, who was sleeping in a fetal position with her hands tucked against her chest.
Douma snickered with a hand up to his mouth. "I know what'll wake her up!".
The blondie approached her and squatted down.
His hand gripped her jaw, gently squeezing her cheeks which caused her mouth to fall open.
He proceeded use his index and middle finger to prod her mouth open before sliding them into her mouth.
Douma giggled as Y/n furrowed her brow as he stuck them all the way to the back of her mouth.
Once Y/n felt his sharp nails graze her throat, he eyes fell wide open, only to be met with Douma's sultry smirk that she knew all to well flashing down at her.
Y/n bit down hard on his two fingers. Really hard. To the point where she bit them off.
"Ouch Y/nn!", Douma frowned albeit his fingers regenerating immediately after.
Y/n sat up and let out a yawn before observing her surroundings. Everyone was here now except Muzan. She stretched her arms up, making her kimono fall off her shoulders a bit.
"You're so mean to me!", Douma sulked.
"Oh my sincerest apologies lord Douma!", she exclaimed, standing up and clasping her two hands together. "I'm not sure what came over me, but I should know my place", she inched towards the man, her chest against his and her eyes locked on his own, a pleading look plastered on her face while Douma looked down at her in amusement.
"I'd do anything for your forgiveness!", a grin slowly grew on her lips as she relaxed her eyebrows. "...Is what you would've wanted me to say, right?".
She laughed and backed away from him, the fact that his smug look was still plastered on his face annoyed her. "I'll leave that to your cult members".
Douma narrowed his eyes. "Got quite a mouth on you, don't you? Someone should teach you what to do with it".
Gyokko scoffed. "I can't even tell if they're flirting or arguing".
Y/n decided it was best to ignore Douma's comment and her eyes brightened upon seeing Akaza.
She enveloped him into a hug that made him unsteady on his feet, a blush immediately coating the apples of his cheeks.
"Akaza! Long time no see”.
Douma folded his arms childishly as Akaza looked at him with an overconfident, smug look as he spat his tongue out. Everyone knew Akaza was her favourite.
Despite this, poor Akaza was still weak to the touch of any woman.
“Oh yeah, I got you a present”, Y/n reached into her kimono, Akaza averting his gaze at anything else he could find.
She lifted his arm from his side and opened up his palm, placing the box into his hand.
“Open it! Open it!”.
When he did just that, he blinked at her. It was a hairpin.
“Are you sure this is for me?”, he sweatdropped.
“Of course it is! It goes with your hair colour so I got it for you”, she took it out of the box and stuck it in his hair.
Akaza smiled sweetly moving to stand behind her smaller figure. He took the hairpin out of his hair and put it in hers.
“I appreciate it but I believe it’ll look better on you”.
“Aw but lord Akaza, it suits you! It really brought out your eyes too~”, Douma burst out into laughter, holding his stomach.
“Don’t piss me off”, Akaza seethed between his clenched teeth. Suddenly, Douma’s bottom part of his face was destroyed by Akaza’s fist.
Douma smiled as his face regenerated. “Whoa! That was some punch! A bit stronger than before, would you say, lord Akaza?”.
*splat*
The same fist Akaza used to hit Douma was severed by Kokushibo.
“Akaza”, he spoke. “You always go too far”.
“lord Kokushibo!”, Y/n bounced happily around him.
Kokushibo turned his head to her and brought his hands up to her chest, fixing her kimono so that it was up over her shoulders again.
“You shouldn’t let your kimono slip down like that, you’re a lady”.
She placed her hands on her hips. “Alright dad”, she mocked before smiling again.
“Aw it’s like a family reunion seeing all of you again!”.
“W-where have you been all this time?”, Hantengu asked.
Y/n hopped onto Kokushibo’s shoulders, patting his head which took the demon’s by surprise at the fact that he was allowing it.
“It’s a secret”, she brought a finger up to her lips.
It was evident that Muzan had arrived when Kokushibo lifted Y/n down and teleported back to where he was sitting originally.
“Family reunion over!”.
Masterlist :)
a/n: also the last episode was a damn masterpiece, as an anime only for demon slayer i was genuinely scared nezuko was gonna die 😭
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evansbby · 16 days
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𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒☆.。.:*
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐕 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐛
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mean jock!Ari Levinson x naive!reader, mean jock!Steve Rogers x naive reader
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smutt, dubcon, daddy!kink, size difference, innocence kink, HEAVY MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL AND DRUG CONSUMPTION, mentions of depression, mentions of self-medication, seriously, if you're sensitive about that kind of stuff please do not read, 18+ only, minors dni!
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You're done with both Ari and Steve. But they're not quite done with you...
𝐀/𝐍: Here it is. Again, I'm putting up a disclaimer: Please beware of the strong mentions of irresponsible alcohol and drug consumption in this chapter. Also be aware of the depictions of depression in this chapter. Stay safe & only read what you are comfortable with. This is a dark story. This is chapter 4 of Wicked Games. It is 33.6k words. Enjoy, besties!
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Steve: Hey. Look, I’m really sorry about what happened yesterday. Things got out of control and I really did not mean to scare you. Could we talk in person?
Steve: I did plan a date for us. I know you don’t believe me, but I did. For whatever that’s worth. Look, just text me back, okay? Or answer my calls.
Steve: Sometimes I just get like that. Even if you don’t understand, just reply and say you’ll talk to me. I’ll explain everything. Please.
Steve: Can’t you see I’m trying? I want us to work.
Steve: It wasn’t just about sex to me. I know that’s what it looked like but it wasn’t.
Steve: ?????
Each time your phone pings with a new text, you feel a stronger urge to just throw it out the window. Oh, why couldn’t he just leave you alone? You feel awful and on edge, the night’s sleep had done you absolutely no good. You’d tossed and turned the whole time, crying and feeling sad about how terribly your “date” had gone down yesterday. How you’d been used. How it was all just about sex for him, no matter what he claimed.
Your phone starts pinging again.
Ari: Are you okay?
Ari: You need to tell me exactly what he did to you. I’ll set him straight, I promise. I just need to know what he did.
Ari: You were really worked up yesterday so I gave you your space but I’m worried. And pissed off. Just answer me.
Ari: Pick up your phone.
Ari: I’m coming over.
No, no, no. You don’t want him to come over. You don’t want to see either of them. To hell with their mood swings and cocky egos and fake concern for you. Now you know there was only one thing that men like Ari and Steve truly ever wanted from you – sex. Fuck them both. If Ari came over now, you’d scream your head off and not let him in again.
You were done. Completely and irrevocably done. Not just with Ari and Steve, but with men and relationships in general. You were going to make a solemn vow to yourself that from now on, that–
A sudden knocking on your door interrupts your thoughts. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you feel the anger surge through you. Who the fuck was that? Ari? He’d only just sent his last message a minute ago – how was he already here?
A wave of anxiety overtakes you suddenly… What if it was Steve?
Another knock. But it sounds a lot softer than Ari’s usual loud banging – which was what he did on days where he’d forget your dorm key at home.
“Y/N?” You hear a faint, familiar voice from the other side of the door. “Are you there?”
Huh. That was definitely not Steve or Ari…
It takes you about five seconds to haul yourself off your bed and across the room. You open the door cautiously, only to find Sharon standing there. Her face is swollen, red and blotchy, her shiny and usually pristinely styled hair scraped back in a low, sad ponytail. Not a trace of makeup on her face, and she’s wearing a loose, wrinkled St. Andrews sweatshirt instead of her usual cheerleading uniform.
“Ari broke up with me!” She bursts into tears, pulling you into a hug that you have no choice but to return. And the guilt is immediate, spreading throughout your body, thrumming through your bloodstream along with dread. Of course, you knew Ari had dumped her… for you.
“Oh, Sharon…” you mumble against her sweatshirt, a huge lump forming in your throat, “I’m so, so sorry.” Sorrier than you realise…
Sharon sniffles, “I know we’re not really close, but I just didn’t know who else to talk to about this. All my friends are also his friends, or girlfriends of his friends, and…and…and I just needed someone who was my friend, and not his, and–” She breaks out into a fresh wave of tears, hugging you tightly again, burying her face in your neck as she cries. You awkwardly pat her shoulder, feeling like the world’s worst person.
“Come in,” you say reluctantly. Sure, you had your own problems, but you weren’t just going to leave her crying out in the hallway, were you? Especially not since you were basically the reason for her tears.
She smiles weakly, “Thank you.”
You manage to quickly type out a message to Ari while she isn’t looking:
Sharon’s here. Don’t come over. And stop texting me.
“It just came so out of nowhere,” she says, following you into your room and sitting on the edge of your bed, “Well, we weren’t having sex like how we used to but I just assumed he was stressed about basketball or something.”
“Wait, the two of you weren’t having sex?” You blurt out a tad too eagerly, but she doesn’t seem to notice. You sink down beside her, “I mean… wow… so you guys weren’t being – uh – intimate?”
Sharon shakes her head, using the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe her eyes, “Not for, like, the past month. But I really didn’t think he was cheating on me… But he basically told me he was dumping me because there was someone else.”
Your heart jumps up to your throat, “H-He said that?”
“Yeah. Well, at first, he kept saying the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ crap.” She snorts, aggressively twining a loose strand of her blonde hair round and round her pointer finger, “But I told him to be honest and just tell me straight up, and I was yelling and so upset and finally he said that there was someone else. Can you believe that?”
Your hands feel clammy, the guilt and anxiety churning around in your stomach like a witch’s cauldron. Should you tell her now? Tell her that you’re the reason her boyfriend dumped her? That you’d been sleeping with Ari behind her back for months? Oh God… You were an awful person, weren’t you? Well, you hadn’t known about Sharon at first… and back then you were innocent enough to believe Ari when he said he’d broken up with her. But you’d wisened up to that and still had sex with him at the party, hadn’t you?
You gulp, “Sharon, there’s something–”
“And can you believe that for a split second I thought it was you?” She says suddenly, her eyes wide and unblinking.
Your blood freezes, “I, I–”
“I know, I know… Totally ridiculous, right?” She laughs. And you’d expected her laugh to be all cute and twinkly and perfect how she is, but it’s low and hoarse and ironic. She squeezes your arm, “I hate that my mind even went there. I don’t know you that well but I just know you wouldn’t do that to me, Y/N.”
“Sharon–”
 “It’s just that one time, at that basketball practice when the ball hit your face. The way Ari carried you off… I just got this feeling in my gut, you know?” She laughs again, “But that was just Ari being Ari, stepping up and taking charge of a situation when no one else would. And it’s awful of me to even think you’d do something like that when you’d just got struck in the face and were probably in a lot of pain. Gosh, I’m so sorry for even thinking it!”
She hugs you again. You can smell her sweet perfume, and it goes straight to your head, making you feel sick. Or maybe it’s the guilt eating away at your insides that’s making you feel sick.
“There’s something I have to tell you–”
“–We were together for almost a whole year, you know?” Sharon cuts you off again. “I was gonna take him home for Thanksgiving and everything.” She’s still hugging you, and her cheek rests against the bare nape of your neck. You weren’t used to being this touchy with your girlfriends, but you continue to pat her back nonetheless, feeling like the world’s most awful person ever.
“He’s just the world’s most awful person ever!” She cries, “Like he threw our relationship away like it was nothing! And I was so good to him, Y/N!”
“I know, I know,” you say softly. You feel a wave of disgust for Ari overtake you, but the disgust you feel at yourself overshadows it completely.
“But maybe it’s for the best,” She sits up suddenly, her eyes wide and glistening, an almost daring look on her face, your hand still encased in hers. “Maybe me and Ari weren’t meant to be, and he was just a stupid phase in my life.”
“He’s just a fuckboy,” you agree truthfully, despite feeling rotten over your role in all of this. “You can do so much better than him, Sharon.”
She nods, “Yeah, I think so too. I mean, he’s super hot and all, but…” And then she pauses, looking at you with a curious expression. She bites her lip, still holding on to your hand. “Maybe this is too much information, but lately, even when I was, you know, taking care of myself… I wouldn’t think of him. I’d think of someone else.”
“That’s good!” You say enthusiastically. “Who were you thinking of? Like an actor or singer or something? Or a cute guy in one of your classes?”
She stares at you a bit longer, before suddenly dropping her gaze, “Yeah, something like that. Anyways, thank you so much for being there for me, Y/N. I know I just barged into your room unannounced.”
At that moment, your phone vibrates. Once, twice, three times. More texts. You’re thankful you left your phone facedown; in case they were from Ari and she saw.
“That’s probably Steve, isn’t it?” Sharon says.
You nod quickly, suddenly in a hurry to stop talking about Ari, “Yeah. They’re all from him. He’s been texting me nonstop since last night when me and him had a fight.”
“Oh no. Is everything gonna be okay?”
You shake your head tersely, not wanting to talk about the disastrous date. “No. Me and him are over. Forever.” And so are me and Ari.
Sharon nods, giving you another hug. “Men are trash. I’m so glad we have each other, Y/N. I’m so happy we’re friends now.”
You swallow harshly, hoping the guilt isn’t so evident on your face. Inside your head, there’s about a million different thoughts racing each other. Should you tell her about Ari now? Or wait till later when she was more distanced from the situation and less distraught? Oh God, it was like problems followed you wherever you went! First Steve, then Ari, and now Sharon was in the mix too. And the worst part was, how kind she was being. How genuinely good she was and how she didn’t deserve to be lied to in the least.
I’ll tell her, you promise yourself. I swear I’ll tell her soon…
***
“You need to stop moping around so much,” Wanda says as the two of you walk down the corridor after a lecture. Well, she walks. You just drag your feet. It’s been two days since the “date” with Steve and the subsequent scene with Sharon in your dorm room, and your emotions have been all over the place.
“Like okay, so the Steve thing didn’t work out. It’s not the end of the world, is it? Just get over it.” Wanda continues scanning the crowd of people in the hallway.
“I just feel like nobody wants a relationship with me, Wanda.” You say softly. “All they ever seem to want is sex.”
“Huh? Yeah, that really sucks,” she says distractedly, standing on her tip-toes to look over the sea of heads all milling around or heading to their next class. “Where’s Curtis? He agreed to meet me here.”
Your stomach drops. Curtis again? Oh, you hope Ari’s not with him! You’d successfully been able to avoid him since the night he’d left your dorm room, and you didn’t want to break that streak now.
Wanda spots her boyfriend a moment later and squeals, jumping up and down trying to get his attention. Thankfully, he isn’t with Ari. But he is standing in a cosy corner of the corridor, deep in conversation with a tiny brunette cheerleader. You watch as she laughs at something he said and puts her hand on his chest.
You glance warily at Wanda, but she still has that determined bright smile on her face as she charges over to him, pulling you along with her.
“Curtis! Hey!” She wraps her arms around his neck territorially, plastering her lips on his. The cheerleader smirks, and you see her wink at him before she leaves. Only then does Curtis finally give his girlfriend some attention. You stand there, awkwardly staring at your shoes for the next five minutes while they noisily kiss next to you.
“You still in a bad mood, sweetheart?” Curtis grins once the two of them finally break apart.
“She’s always in a bad mood,” Wanda interjects before you can respond, “Hey, Curtis, you wanna check out the new drive-in theatre downtown? I don’t have any more classes today and I know you don’t either.”
Curtis yawns, “I don’t know. I kinda just wanna chill today.”
“Oh. That’s fine too, I guess. You wanna just grab lunch on campus?”
“Nah. I think I’ll just head back home. I have stuff to do.”
Wanda nods, “Okay, can I come too?”
He shrugs, “Sure. If you must.”
They start towards the exit, and you have no choice but to follow them. But when Wanda stops to talk to one of the girls in her Philosophy class, Curtis shoots you a smirk.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you come back to my place too?”
You frown, “What would I do in your room with you and Wanda?”
The spark in his eye is nothing short of devilish, “I could think of a few things the three of us could get up to.”
“You’re disgusting, Curtis.”
“You sure about that? I have some more of those magic pills you’re such a huge fan of. The three of us could have some fun.” His eyes rake over your body brazenly, and you feel the urge to throw up. So, it was true. All men viewed you as an easy hook-up. A slut. Ari, Steve, now Curtis too.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Wanda is your girlfriend and you should have more respect for her.”
He rolls his eyes, “You’re one to talk about respecting girlfriends.”
The jab stings, especially since it has a ring of truth to it. But you glare up at him nonetheless, “Fuck you.”
“Are you and Ari both perpetually in a bad mood these days or what?”
“I’m not speaking to Ari, so I wouldn’t know what kind of mood he’s in.” You answer curtly.
“He’s in a shitty mood, I’ll tell you that much,” Curtis snorts. “You’d think he’d be over the fucking moon after finally dumping Sharon, but now all he does is glare at his phone because you won’t answer his texts.”
Sure, Ari had been continuously texting and calling you for the past two days, but you’d gotten better at ignoring him. The last text you’d sent him was when you’d told him not to come over because Sharon was there.
“Are we ready to go, babe?” Wanda asks, waving goodbye to the girl from her Philosophy class.
Curtis stretches and grunts, “Yeah, let’s go,” He looks over at you, “You need a lift to wherever you’re headed?”
“No, she doesn’t!” Wanda interjects quickly, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the exit impatiently, “You wanted to be alone, didn’t you, Y/N?”
You shrug, “Sure.”
Watching them leave hand in hand, you stand there in a sea of people – and yet you feel more alone than ever. You know you need to snap out of this funk, but it’s so hard. Even now, as you look around, you can see about five different couples. All happily hanging out, talking, eating lunch together, kissing, holding hands. Would you ever experience anything normal like that?
You’re about to leave when someone grabs your wrist, yanking you sideways. You yelp, barely catching a glimpse of Ari’s brown waves before you’re pulled into an empty corridor.
“Ari! What the fuck–”
“Stop it with the ignoring my texts shit!” He spits out, eyes already blazing, “I’ve been worried sick about you.”
“Let go of me.”
Surprisingly, he does. But he blocks your path with his huge frame, stepping in front of you every time you try to push past him. This continues for a solid minute and a half before you finally huff and give up trying to escape.
“I went to see Steve that night.” Ari says finally.
Your stomach churns at the mention of the blonde’s name.
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“He wasn’t at home. And the other guys in his frat wouldn’t say where he was,” he runs a hand through his hair, “But I’m guessing he was probably hiding out at his parent’s house.”
That was exactly where he was. You knew that.
“Please tell me you didn’t go there.”
Ari regards you closely, as if you’re made out of glass and he’s trying to formulate his sentences as carefully as he can. “I didn’t,” he says finally, sighing, “I was about to, but–”
“Good,” you interrupt, “I don’t need you fighting him or whatever. Not on my behalf.” You narrow your eyes, “How do you even know where his parents’ house is?”
He hesitates, “I don’t know off the top of my head, but I would’ve found out.” He grabs your hands, his blue eyes looking earnest, which is a look you aren’t used to seeing on him at all. “He’s clearly avoiding me, but look, the sooner you tell me what exactly happened between you and him, the sooner I’ll deal with it.”
From over his shoulder, you see a group of cheerleaders walk by. In a panic, you snatch your hands away from him. Was Sharon with them? Had she seen you with him? No. She wasn’t there. And yet now you feel more paranoid than ever.
“We can’t do this, Ari,” you mutter, trying to sidestep him again, “We can’t be seen together now or ever again, so just move so I can leave–”
“No.”
“Yes!” you try not to explode or lose your patience, “This isn’t right, okay? You and me, we’re not right. Sharon doesn’t deserve us going behind her back, she doesn’t–”
“I told you, I broke up with her.”
“That doesn’t make any of this okay, so just move!”
He doesn’t. Instead, he grabs your arm again, tugging you somewhere deep into the corridor before you have a chance to stop him or finish your sentence. And he’s too strong to fight against, so you don’t even try it. The last thing you want is to put any more attention on you or him. Even if Sharon wasn’t around, one of her friends could see you with him and report back to her. And after everything that happened with you and Sharon, you wanted to come clean to her yourself, rather than have her hear about you sleeping with her boyfriend behind her back from somebody else.
“The supply closet? Really, Ari?” You plant your hands on your hips, watching as he shuts and locks the door of the dimly lit room.
He shrugs, “If it’ll get you to stop running away from me...”
“Well, why can’t you just get the message? I’m running for a reason.” You try to push past him, but the closet is way too small to allow that type of movement. He easily grabs your waist and lifts you back in front of him, making you scowl. “Look, I don’t know what you expected would happen between us when you dumped Sharon, I already told you we’re done. She doesn’t deserve this.”
Ari has the audacity to look confused, “Since when do you care about her?”
“Since I developed a brain and realised what we did behind her back for months was wrong!” You explode, hating the fact that you have to spell this out for him. “You know that she came to my dorm room the day after you dumped her? She was a mess, Ari! All because of us, and she doesn’t even know it!”
 He sighs, “If you want, I could come clean to her and tell her it was you who I was sleeping with. You shouldn’t have to deal with that, it’s my problem, anyways.”
“No, you don’t say anything, Ari! I’m going to tell her myself.” Soon.
“Okay, but trust me, don’t worry about her too much. She’s a strong girl, she’ll bounce back.”
You stare at him incredulously. Strong girl? Bounce back? Oh, he was infuriating!
“Whatever, Ari.” You mutter, once more trying to push past him but he places you back in front of him with such ease that it’s almost comical.
“What happened to you that day with Steve?” He asks again, his brow furrowed.
“It’s none of your business.”
He scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. “You came home in tears with your dress all torn up and you expect me to just go about my business as if all that was nothing?”
“Yes. It shouldn’t be too hard for you considering you’ve left me in tears yourself a couple of times.” You think back to the frat party, how he’d left you drunk, high and in tears in the bathroom. By the guilt that flashes in Ari’s eyes, he remembers too.
“I told you I was sorry about that.”
You shrug, “Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways. You used me, and Steve used me too.” Your voice almost breaks but you clear your throat quickly, not wanting to cry in front of him.
“What do you mean Steve used you?” Ari grabs your shoulders with a note of urgency. “Did he do something you didn’t want to do? Did he fuck you? Goddamit, I told you not to speak to him!”
Shaking out of his grasp, you feel another flash of anger. The same flash you’d felt surge through you the night you’d kicked Ari out of your dorm room. A part of you wants to start yelling and screaming again, but you know you can’t do that here.
“What does it matter, anyways?” You snap, feeling the walls building up around you. Half of you wants to scream and the other half wants to curl up and cry. The two emotions swirl inside you like a whirlpool, making you feel lightheaded.
A handful of seconds go by and all Ari does is stare at you. You can hear him breathing hard, almost erratically, as if deciding his next move. Finally, he bends down so his face is level with yours, his hands leaving your shoulders to cup your cheeks instead. His eyes, so bright blue despite the dark mustiness of the supply closet, bore into yours so intensely.
“Did. He. Fuck. You?”
“No.”
“Did he hurt you?”
You don’t answer, instead staring at the dark nothingness beyond Ari’s shoulder. Maybe if you focused on it hard enough, you could dissociate and float away from this situation. Float away from anyone else who could hurt you or use you or manipulate you. Float away from the guilt, the shame, the sadness, all of it.
Instead, you feel the wind being knocked out of you as Ari roughly pushes you against what feels like a shelf. The wooden edges poke against your back, and your mouth curls in pain.
“Listen to me. I’m not fucking around anymore, okay? You need to tell me what happened right fucking now.” Ari growls, his face inches from yours. It seems like someone’s ignited a fire in his eyes, twin fires – one burning bright in each eye, and you can practically feel the heat of his anger radiating from his being.
“You’re hurting me!” You cry out pitifully.
Like a hot poker, Ari drops you immediately, regret seeping through his features before he takes a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…” He pauses, and for a second his whole face screws up and contorts, like he’s inwardly examining every corner of his brain to conjure up the right thing to say. “Look, I care about you. A lot. And these past two days have been torture, knowing that he did something to you and I couldn’t protect you.”
He sounds sincere, but you know it’s all an act. He doesn’t mean it, he’s only trying to be nice so he can have sex with you later, the voice inside your head cackles.
“So just tell me what he did, and I’ll–”
 “WHAT PART OF IT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, ARI?” You burst, “What part of the whole ugly thing would you like me to relive first? The part where he promised he’d take me out on a date but he took me to his bedroom instead?” You duck your head in shame, “I suppose I should be used to that by now, but I was stupid enough to let myself hope.”
Ari draws his breath but stays silent.
“Or would you rather I tell you everything he said? Down to the last fucking detail? How he basically implied that I was the world’s biggest slut?” This time, you can’t keep the tears at bay. “H-He said… He said I should stop acting like a nun because I had no problem with you fucking me at the party!”
You don’t mention the part where Steve had also said you’d had no problem spreading your legs for Steve too the night of the party. You have yet to come to terms with and address that little detail, and so you push it back to the depths of your mind for now. Ari couldn’t know about that, not when you didn’t know yourself.
Instead, your face crumples up, and before you realise it, you’re heaving with tears. Waterfalls pouring down your cheeks as you cry and cry. You don’t even notice Ari picking you up, you don’t notice him sitting down on a nearby stool and holding you in his lap. Carefully holding your head against his chest, rocking you back and forth as his other hand rubs up and down your back.
So much for all your bravado, so much for keeping up a strong front and resisting Ari at all costs. Here you were again, crying in his arms like you always ended up doing.
“H-He was so awful!” you sob, burying your head deep in Ari’s shirt, inhaling the manly scent of his aftershave, and it calms your hurting heart a little bit. But not enough. “He said all these mean things, and he…he wouldn’t stop, Ari! I k-kept saying no, but he wouldn’t listen at all! It was like something came over him!”
You fist the soft material of Ari’s jersey, taking comfort in the feel of his strong arms wrapped tightly around you. His familiar, manly scent and his soft hair tickling your face as he holds you carefully against him. And despite everything, you can’t help but note how strange this is. Of course, Ari had held you while you cried about a dozen times – but this seemed different. For one, he wasn’t cooing sweet manipulations into your ear. He was just… silent. You risk peaking up at him through teary eyes, to see him looking straight ahead with a grim look on his face, the beginnings of a sneer forming on his lips.
“It’s okay,” Ari says softly, his voice sounding thick as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Was this what true, earnest sympathy sounded like coming from him? Or was it all just an act? You’re too busy crying and seeking solace in his warm chest to really mull it over, and the beefy basketball player continues to stroke your back, “It’s okay, baby. He won’t hurt you anymore. I promise he won’t.”
“JUST SAY IT ALREADY! Just say ‘I told you so!’” You sob, “He didn’t care about me at all, Ari! Just like you said. He was just using me. He just wanted sex, or to get back at you, or both!”
He doesn’t say I told you so. Instead, his lips press down on top of your head, kissing you gently. And you know you should push him away, but you reason with yourself to hold on to him just for a little bit longer. Just till you felt a little bit better. Was that so wrong?
“He won’t hurt you again,” Ari repeats firmly, now cupping your face with both his hands so you look him dead in the eye.
“He scared me so bad, Ari!” you sniffle, “H-He punched a wall when I said I wanted to leave, and then…and then he wouldn’t let me go!”
Ari mutters something unintelligible under his breath, before using the corner of his sleeve to wipe your cheeks. “How did you get him to stop?”
“I couldn’t. But thankfully, his sister was there and she stopped him.”
Ari freezes, “His sister?”
“Yes.”
“Did she say anything to you?”
“Not really,” you look down at your hands. Recounting the whole horrific ordeal with Steve had caused them to start shaking, and you grip at your skirt to get them to stop. Before you know it, Ari’s larger hands cup your own, holding them in place on your lap, stilling them, calming you.
“Well, don’t worry,” Ari says firmly, “he won’t touch you ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”
His face looks earnest, sincere. A large part of you feels comforted by him, but there’s also a dwindling doubt in the back of your mind. A little speck of mistrust growing larger and larger, fuelled by all the times he’s hurt you. Fuelled by how Steve had hurt you. Despite the fact that you don’t want to, you snatch your hands out of his and shoot up off his lap as if he’s shot you. No. You weren’t going to do this again. You weren’t going to fall for his false promises. Not this time.
“Stop lying,” you say shakily, backing away from him slowly. “You don’t care about me so stop pretending like you do. You just want me for sex, and you’re angry that someone else got close to having me like that too. But you don’t actually care about me or how I feel, Ari, so just stop lying!”
He stands up too, frowning, “I’m not lying. I dumped Sharon. I’ve been texting and calling you this whole time. Hell, I’m standing inside a fucking supply closet just to get a minute alone with you. What part of that says I don’t care?”
“You don’t care,” you repeat softly, “It took me a while to realise it, but now I do. All I’m good for is sex.”
“That’s not true–”
“Yes it is!” You cry, “Remember all the times I begged to be your girlfriend and you came up with a bullshit excuse each time? It’s because you knew that I wasn’t worth anything more than a hook-up for you!” You shake your head bitterly, “God, you must’ve been laughing behind my back at how stupid and naïve I was for expecting more from you. Steve’s probably laughing too. You’re both the same and I’m not going to let you or him or anyone else hurt me ever again! So, for the love of God, just leave me alone!”
You turn to leave, but Ari grabs your hand.
“What’s it going to take to show you that I care about you? Because I’ll do it.”
You don’t turn back around, waiting two long seconds before you tug your hand out of his grip. But you do open your mouth to respond – except nothing comes out. Instead, you sigh. There was really nothing more left to say, was there? Except perhaps just one more thing…
“Nothing, Ari. People don’t just change overnight. Especially not people like you.”
You step out of the supply closet, carefully shutting the door behind you and finally walking away. And hopefully this time, it’s for good.
***
Ari: WTF. Why did you change your lock???
Ari: Stop avoiding me.
Ari: If you weren’t so hellbent on ignoring me, you’d know that I have changed. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.
Ari: ???????
Ari: Steve’s still dodging me, by the way. Me and Curtis went over to his frat house but he wasn’t there again. Clearly, he’s afraid of me, but don’t worry. I promise I’ll make him pay for what he did.
The days go by, and Ari continues to text you daily all while you lock yourself up in your room and pretty much avoid the outside world. And his last text makes you want to tear your hair out. Why couldn’t Ari just butt out of your life and stop trying to fight Steve on your behalf!? You’d never asked for that; you didn’t want that! You just wished the whole ordeal with Steve had never even happened, you wished you could will it out of existence.
And speaking of Steve, he still texted you too. Not as frequently as Ari, which made him better at taking a hint than he was at planning first dates. But you still received a message from him every now and again…
Steve: I get it. I fucked it all up.
Steve: I need to see you again. I’ll make it right. Please.
And sure, there was a tiny part of you that did want to hear Steve out. But you were afraid of him, afraid of what he’d do or say. Plus, he’d literally lied to you, pretended he was interested in having a relationship with you when really, he just wanted sex. So, who was to say he wouldn’t lie again? Oh God, everything felt so wrong, how could he possibly make anything right!?
And why couldn’t you just block them both and move on!? You wish you could, yet you can’t find it in you to block or delete either of their numbers. Not Ari’s, and not even Steve’s. Maybe it’s the naïve little girl inside you, the insecure little girl who wants to hold on to the only male attention she’s ever gotten – despite the fact that your relationships with both men had gone up in smoke. And so you settle with just muting and archiving their chats. Out of sight, out of mind – except not really. But it’s the best you can do for now.
And you feel more alone now than ever. With Wanda always preoccupied with Curtis, you had nobody to confide your heartbreak in. But ironically, you began to grow closer with Sharon. On the rare occasions you actually left your dorm room and made it into campus for your lectures, she always seemed to find you. You realised quickly that she no longer hung out with her usual cheerleader friends. Either she herself had opted to leave them, or they’d decided to leave her because she was no longer the basketball captain’s girlfriend. Either way, you didn’t ask.
“It’s probably one of them,” Sharon mutters darkly one day as the two of you walk past a gaggle of cheerleaders, “The bitch he was cheating on me with. It’s probably one of them.”
You gulp. You had yet to come clean to her – but you could never find the right moment. And as time went by and she started spending more and more time with you, it got even harder to just drop the bomb and be like, oh hey, by the way! That bitch who your boyfriend cheated on you with? That was me!
But apart from all that, Sharon was good company. Both of you were dealing with heartbreak (she seemed to be dealing with hers better than you were dealing with yours), and so there was a kind of understanding between the two of you. Not to mention, hanging out with her turned out to be useful in keeping Ari away from you. Any time he spotted you on campus, he’d start making a beeline for you before freezing when he realised you were with her.
“You know, I think I figured out why both Ari and Steve treated us the way they did.” Sharon pipes up one day whilst the two of you are leaving campus. “It’s because we’re too nice.”
“Hm?” You barely utter a word, just wanting to get home and wallow in bed. You hadn’t told Sharon the extent of what had happened between you and Steve on your “date.” All she knew was that it was over, and you never wanted to speak to him again.
“Yeah, it’s because we’re too nice. Bad bitches don’t get their hearts broken, but nice girls always do.” She says, unscrewing her lip gloss and touching up her lips. Unlike you, she’d gotten some of her pep back since her breakup. In a way, you were glad. You’d rather her be happy than you – she deserved it after getting cheated on. 
You manage to laugh cynically, which eggs the blonde on as she continues.
“I’m serious. From here on out, let’s promise not to take any shit from anyone. That way, no one can hurt us again.”
No one hurting you ever again? That sounded like a dream. You knew you could be naïve at times, especially months ago when Ari had first started hooking up with you. Back then, you really thought you’d hit the jackpot and found yourself the perfect boyfriend. Now, months later, it was like you’d mentally matured at rapid speed. Could you be tougher now? Stop being the stupid, naïve little girl that kept getting played by men?
“That’s easier said than done,” you remark softly.
Sharon shrugs, “It’s worth a shot. I think if you act like an ice queen well enough, people are gonna know not to fuck with you. So, like, next time Steve tries to approach you or sweet-talk you into taking him back, just act like you couldn’t care less. Keep a strong resolve, he’ll get the message.”
You think back to all the times in the past you’ve tried to keep a strong resolve. Not with Steve, but with Ari. And every single time, you’d ended up crumbling and crying in his arms. Giving him the perfect opportunity to manipulate you again. Would the same thing happen with Steve? Who could be extremely charming and angelic when he wanted to be? You hoped not…
Turns out you don’t have to wonder that for too long. Because as you walk up to your dorm building after parting ways with Sharon, you see Steve sitting on the stairs of the entrance. He stands up quickly when he spots you, and your heartbeat quickens. Oh no, why was he here!?
“I didn’t mean to ambush you,” Steve calls out when you stop dead in your tracks a few feet away from him. “But you wouldn’t return any of my calls.” He starts making his way over to you, and you remain frozen in place. Despite every cell in your body screaming for you to run.
“Please, stay away from me.” You mumble.
Steve stops short, holding his hands up defensively, “I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to apologise.” His face softens, and you notice how he’s got a bit of facial hair now, like he hasn’t shaved since you last saw him. His hair looks scruffier too. He’s also got dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept. In fact, in his black hoodie (the hood up) and black sweats, he looks about as depressed as you feel.
“Sorry, I’m not interested in your apology.” You stick your nose up and resume walking, trying your hardest to follow Sharon’s advice and be the stone-faced ice queen who didn’t let anything phase her.
Steve, of course, follows you up the steps and into your building.
“I wasn’t thinking straight that day in my bedroom. Sometimes I get like that.”
“I don’t care.” You try to sound nonchalant, but now you’re a bit scared. What if he followed you all the way up to your room? Forced his way inside? Locked the door and had his way with you like how he’d tried to last time? There was no Kira here to pacify him, either… Abruptly, you turn around, trying to keep your voice from shaking, “Steve, please don’t follow me inside.”
He bites his lip, looking every bit as handsome as he always did. Which sucked, because he deserved to have somehow become ugly after how horrible he’d been the last time you’d seen him. But no such luck, he still looked angelic. A bit dark and twisted and scruffy, but angelic nevertheless.
“But I need to explain to you why I acted the way I did.”
A bitter chuckle forces itself out your mouth, fear momentarily forgotten. “I know why you acted the way you did. You wanted sex, and you thought I was so naïve and easy, that I would easily provide it for you. And when I didn’t, you lost it.
“No, that’s not it at all!”
You jump at his tone, but try to keep your expression unfazed. “Well, I don’t care and I’m not interested.”
He clenches his fists, his jaw tensing too. But he relaxes when he notices the way your eyes widen in fear, and how you take a few steps back.
“Please, fuck, just don’t be scared of me.” He holds his hands up defensively again, and this time, you notice one of them is bandaged up. The one he punched the wall with. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“No, you already did that, Steve.” You turn back around and continue walking up to your dorm room, trying so hard to appear nonchalant.
“I’m not the best at controlling my emotions, okay?” He calls out behind you, and the steady patter of his footsteps reveals he’s still following you as you go up the stairs of your building. “My parents, they’ve made me see a bunch of doctors for it, and lately I’ve been able to cope but I’ll admit, something inside me snapped that day, and I took it out on you when I shouldn’t have, and–”
 “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID I’M NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY!” You reach your door before angrily whipping around, “Just leave me alone, alright? I don’t care if you’re sorry, it doesn’t take back the fact that you lied and made it seem like you wanted to date me when really all you wanted was sex! Not to mention, all the vile things you said and how scary you got. Now just leave me the fuck alone!”
Quickly, you slip inside your room and slam your door shut, locking it at lightning speed. Steve calls out your name, he knocks, he rattles your doorknob. And all you do is lean against the door, breathing fast and willing yourself not to cry. It was okay, he wouldn’t hurt you. There was a locked door between the two of you.
“(Y/N), please. Just give me another chance,” Steve knocks again, “I know I acted like a complete asshole, okay? I knew it the second I snapped out of it. And I really didn’t mean to say all those things.”
You feel that sudden flash of anger again. Bolting through you like lightning. After everything he’d said to you, after he’d forced himself on you… The best he could come up with was “I was an asshole and I didn’t mean it,”!? No, you couldn’t let him get off that easily. There were things that needed explaining and questions that needed to be answered.
Before you can think better of it, you throw the door back open. Of course, he’s still standing there, and you muster up the toughest, most ice queen-esque expression you can possibly make.
“Fine. We can talk.” You fold your arms over your chest, “But you need to answer me honestly. So don’t try to lie or manipulate me.”
Steve nods immediately, “Okay. Thank you.” He steps forward, as if he’s trying to get into your room. You quickly raise a hand up.
“No. Out here.” You don’t feel comfortable being in a bedroom alone with him. You take a deep breath, “You said that I spread your legs for you the night of the party. What did we do? And don’t lie.”
“We hooked up.” Steve meets your steely gaze evenly, before shaking his hoodie off his head and running a hand through his scruffy hair. It’s gotten long enough that the ends are starting to curl up, kind of like how Ari’s do – not that that was relevant at all right now. “In the cab when I was taking you home. We didn’t have sex, but we hooked up and I got you off.”
You wrack your brain, willing yourself to remember that night. But all you can muster up are fragmented pieces of memory. In the car with him, and you remembered how good he’d smelled. You remember his varsity jacket, and how it had somehow ended up around your shoulders. But… what else? Oh! You remember being in his lap, you remember the car hitting some bumps, and… Oh.
You nod slowly, “So then why did you lie? At the practice game, when you could’ve mentioned what happened?”
Steve exhales, “I did, but you were all confused. I thought you’d remember, but when I realised you didn’t, I just… Well, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I just… didn’t.”
For a guy who was so hell bent on explaining things to you, his explanations sure did suck.
You laugh bitterly, “No, you were too busy flaunting me in front of Ari’s face during that practice.” God, how could you have been so stupid!?
“Look, I said I’d answer everything and tell you the whole truth,” He shifts from one foot to the other, scratching his neck as if debating whether to say what he’s about to say, “And yes, I’ll admit that a part of me was using you to get to Ari.”
It feels like a punch to your gut. You’d suspected it, but the fact that he was so readily confirming it made it all the worse. With just a few words, Steve had confirmed all your insecurities. Not only did he not want to date you, not only was he just using you for sex… Oh no, as if that wasn’t enough, he’d also been using you as a pawn in whatever sick, longstanding rivalry he had with Ari.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…
“Please don’t cry,” Steve steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you. And you’re so distraught by the bomb he’s dropped on you, that you don’t even try to run away from him. Instead, you lean against the door, breathing heavily, trying to keep your tears at bay.
He continues, “This is me being honest, alright? Something Ari never is with you. And yes, I wanted him to be jealous, I wanted to get a rise out of him, so I flaunted you in front of him. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you. I still care about you.”
“How can you possibly say you care about me after everything you’ve just admitted?” You manage to get out as you try to get your breathing back into order.
“Because I do care! I think I’d know what I’m feeling better than you would!” He’s growing visibly frustrated. “Fuck, sorry. I’m so bad at explaining shit.” He smacks his forehead hard several times and yet you don’t even have it in you to flinch.
“Goddamit, look, I’ll start from the beginning.” He takes a few, gulping breaths. “When I first saw you at the party, it had nothing to do with Ari, I didn’t even know that you knew him. I approached you that night because you looked cute and lost, and I liked how feisty and sweet you were–”
“That’s a lie!” You wipe at your eyes roughly, “That’s a fucking lie, Steve. Aren’t you forgetting what you said last time you saw me? You knew what Ari and I did that night, you called me a slut for spreading my legs for him in the middle of a party! And you expected I’d do the same for you.”
“No, that’s not it at all!”
He gulps as if trying to get his breathing even once more, and you realise that’s his way of calming himself down. And you can tell that he’s trying, that he’s trying so hard not to have a meltdown like last time, and you just look at him apprehensively. You know you could back away at any moment, slam the door in his face again and lock it and be done with him. And yet, your feet remain planted in place, as if a part of you just has to hear him out.
“I’m sorry I called you a slut. It’s all a big fucking blank in my head, like I blacked out and said all those things. And I never saw you and Ari fucking at the party or anything like that. I only found that out days later through the grapevine. But I shouldn’t have used it against you, that was wrong of me. I’m sorry I fucked it all up by saying that. You didn’t deserve it.”
You shake your head but he hurriedly continues, “I was always going to ask you out, Ari or no Ari. It’s only when I saw how jealous he got when he saw you with me, that I realised how much he liked you. That he liked you more than he liked his own girlfriend. That’s when I realised I could be with you and get back at him at the same time.”
Get back at him!? For what? Did you even care, at this point?
Anger. Fear. Confusion. Pure fucking discombobulation. That’s what you feel. So much so, that you don’t even know what to say or how to act.
Steve takes your lack of response as his cue, moving forward and reach out to cup the side of your face slowly. And you fucking hate how soft and warm his hand feels, how it’s bigger than your whole head yet feels gentle at the same time. Gentle, when the last time he’d had his hands on you, he’d been holding you down on his bed while he tried to force himself on you.
“But I like you too,” Steve says quietly, almost like a whisper, “I like you more than he ever could. And whenever I like something, whenever I have something good in my life, I always fuck it up. But this time, for once in my life I want to make things right.”
“I kept telling you to stop,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut as the memories from that night barge their way back into your head. “Y-You ripped my dress.”
“I’m so sorry, baby girl.”
“You wouldn’t stop, Steve. It’s like you weren’t there, like something came over you and you weren’t there anymore.”
He nods fervently, his fingers stroking your cheek, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I can’t help that I’m like this, I really fucking wish I could be normal and react normally to things like how other people do. I wish it more than anything in the fucking world.”
It’s like he’s a completely different man from the one you’d first met and thought you knew. The man who’d been so shrouded in mystery, oozing with confidence and charm. His intense aura, the smoothness with how he’d spoken to you in the past. But in this moment, it’s like all of that had melted away. And here he was, stripped back. Rough round the edges with bags under his eyes, an earnest look on his face. And this time when you look into his eyes, for a moment it’s like you really see him; you see someone fighting to be normal, desperate for another chance. Oh, should you…?
And then you blink. And there it is again: Steve, the very same man, saying all those vile things to you. All because you wouldn’t fuck him. Him ripping your dress, him holding you down. Him losing his temper. Him punching the wall. The way he’d held you so hard, not letting you leave. That dark, faraway look in his eyes. How scared you’d been… And here you were, letting him cup your face and speak all tenderly with you!?
What if he got like that again?
It’s like a lash of electricity jolts through you. You push Steve away hard.
“Listen to me carefully, Steve, because I’m not gonna say this again. You’re not who I thought you were. You lied about what happened on the night we met, and you lied about your intentions with me. It doesn’t matter if you say you wanted to date me, because your past actions speak louder than whatever words you’re saying now.” You take a deep breath, “That’s why I want you to leave me alone. Forever. Just walk out right now and never look back. Because I’m done with you. And I really, truly mean it.”
He freezes, an unreadable expression on his face. A myriad of emotions flitter through his eyes. Shock, sadness, anger. Disbelief. Resignation. And then…
“And what about Ari?” He says quietly, “You’re choosing him?”
“No, I–”
Steve spits out a bitter laugh, as if he wasn’t gently cupping your face and promising you everything just five seconds ago.
“You don’t know him, (Y/N). Okay fine, I wasn’t completely honest with you and I guess that means I’ve fucked things up between us forever. But you think Ari hasn’t lied to you?”
“I know he’s lied–”
“YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!” Out of nowhere, he raises his voice. And it cuts you like a sword, reverberating off the walls. You flinch at the booming loudness of his words, the aggressiveness back on his angelic face and now he’s scaring you again. “You don’t know what he’s done, okay!?”
“You’re scaring me.”
You try to say it calmly, but your voice breaks right at the end. Steve blinks rapidly, several times. Breathing hard, he looks down at his fingers which are enclosed tightly around your arm. Just like that day in his room. Like a hot poker, he drops it immediately. And again, it’s like he’s waking up from some sort of a momentary trance. Or rather, a momentary wave of anger.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats in a low tone, “but if you knew the things he’s done, you wouldn’t have picked him–”
“I HAVEN’T PICKED HIM!” It’s your turn to explode. “I didn’t pick him, Steve. This isn’t about picking anyone. I’m done with you, and I’m done with Ari too. I’m picking neither of you. Goodbye.”
You turn around and slam your door shut before he can get another word out.
***
“It’s like, a fundraising gala type thing held at the Hilton. The money raised gets split down the middle, half going towards the basketball team and half towards the cheerleaders,” Sharon explains, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around her finger. “Which, by the way, I think is totally lame, because the basketball team doesn’t even need any more funding. Unlike the cheerleaders.”
She swivels around in your desk chair, her sock clad feet waving around in the air. Outside, the sun sparkles and a gentle breeze flows in through your window. The weather had been great lately, as if the atmosphere knew you’d finished the final chapter of the Ari and Steve saga and closed the book on both of them. As if nature itself was willing you to go outside and begin your new chapter, one where you were sexy and single and thriving.
So then why could you still not find it in you to step outside of your room on most days?
“I’ve been on the planning and decorating committee for the Athletic Society’s Annual Gala for the past two years,” Sharon continues, “it’s like, one of the biggest events of the year. All these important sports execs and school alumni show up, not to mention half the college. Wanda, I’m guessing you’re going with Curtis, right?”
“Huh?” Wanda glances up from her phone for a split second, looking as if she has not the slightest clue what Sharon is on about. Burying her nose back into her screen, her acrylics start tapping ferociously. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess who she’s texting. In fact, you were surprised when she’d showed up alongside Sharon outside your dorm room this morning. It was very hard to pin down Wanda lately, since all her time was devoted to her boyfriend.
Sharon raises an eyebrow before shifting her attention back to you, “Well anyways, I think this would be a great opportunity for you to get out of your funk, Y/N. We could go together! As friends, obviously.” She adds hastily.
You manage to muster up a smile, “I don’t know…”
“Oh, come on! It’s been weeks since you ended things with Steve!” Sharon says, and you no longer shiver when his name is mentioned. It’s like the last confrontation you had with him cleared up the fog in your head a little bit. It still depressed you to the core, to know that you’d been used, but at least you didn’t flinch at his name anymore. That was something.
He’d also stopped texting you at all anymore. Which you should be happy about, and yet you still found yourself looking at your chat with him. God, what was wrong with you!? He’d finally left you alone just like how you’d wanted him to, and yet a part of you still felt like it was yearning for him.
“And I know how much you love dressing up and doing your makeup. Hey, we could even go shopping together for dresses!” The blonde claps her hands, clearly unaware of your current inner turmoil as she works herself up into a frenzy.
“We could make it into a proper girl’s night,” She sits on the other end of your bed with a bounce, “Hey, Wanda, why don’t you get ready with us too? You could always just meet Curtis there.”
Wanda scoffs, “Uh, no. I think I’ll go with my boyfriend, thank you very much.”
Sharon rolls her eyes, “Ugh. Fuck boyfriends. I was gonna go with Ari, but that’s obviously not happening anymore. Plus, a girl’s night sounds a lot more fun.”
Your poor, gullible, traitorous heart jolts. “Ari’s gonna be there?”
Unlike Steve, Ari was still texting you and trying to somehow see you in person. You’d successfully avoided him since the supply closet meeting. And yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about him either. God, were you just incapable of not thinking about the two fuckboys who had fucked your entire life up!?
“Yep, but it won’t bother me, I promise.” Sharon says determinedly, “The banquet hall is huge, so I’ll easily just avoid him. He’s probably gonna be super busy, anyways. Word has it that they’re giving him the Basketball MVP award this year.”
“Oh,” you breathe, before quickly clearing your throat, “I don’t know, Sharon. It sounds like fun, but–”
“Curtis says that he’s going to the gala with the basketball team, and that no one else is bringing dates,” Wanda interrupts you as she reads the latest text from her boyfriend. Finally, she looks up, “I guess I’ll go with you girls, then.”
“Great!” Sharon cheers, “You’re in too, right, Y/N?”
You smile, not really knowing what to say. Being in the same banquet hall as Ari and Sharon? At the same time? That was just trouble waiting to happen.
But is this how you were going to spend the rest of the college year? Letting your feelings towards Ari dictate where you went and didn’t go? You think about the old you, the one before Ari or Steve or anyone. The one who loved to dress up and go out to have fun. Before Wanda had got a boyfriend, the two of you used to go out all the time. Another girls’ night wouldn’t harm anyone, would it?
Sharon senses your hesitation, “Come on,” she urges, “It’s not like Steve’s even gonna be there. It’s strictly a St. Andrews’ event.”
You bite your lip. You doubted you’d ever see Steve again. Clearly, since he no longer texted you either. And a part of you is bittersweet as you think about what could have been. Absentmindedly, your eyes divert to your desk chair, where his blue and white varsity jacket still lies. You hadn’t even thought to throw it away. You bet it still smells like him…
Oh God, you had to get over him. Get over both of them and get the fuck out of this funk you were in. So what if Ari would be there too? This was your chance to prove to yourself that his presence didn’t make a difference in how you lived your life.
You take a deep breath, “Okay. I’ll go.”
***
 PART II
“Open up, sleepyhead. I’m not leaving and I’ll camp outside your door if you don’t open it.”
You’d woken up the next day to a loud knocking on your door. And you’d tried to ignore him. You really had. It was so much easier to just remain in bed, rotting and feeling sorry for yourself despite the promise you’d made yourself to get over the two men who’d betrayed your trust, and get out of the funk you were in. But the knocking was incessant, going from soft-knuckled raps to full on banging. You were sure he’d wake up your entire building, and then you’d have to pay a noise fine.
That’s why I’m opening the door, you think to yourself. Not because I actually want to see him.
And there’s Ari, standing outside your door with a picnic basket under his arm. And he looks kind of funny, his big athletic self holding such a dainty little thing. He also looks extremely pleased with himself, and you don’t even have the energy within you to argue with him or tell him to leave. You and him had gone non-contact ever since the confrontation inside the supply closet. Or rather, you’d gone non-contact whilst Ari tried to find ways to talk to you. He couldn’t corner you on campus anymore because you were usually with Sharon, and you’d changed your locks so he couldn’t exactly barge into your dorm room like how he used to.
“Go away, Ari.”
“Hey, nice to see you too. I come bearing food, because I know you haven’t eaten. And don’t ask me how I know, I just know.” Ari says breezily, and you frown at how chipper he’s acting. As if the last time you’d seen him you hadn’t stormed away and told him the two of you could never see each other again.
He follows you inside, and you quickly swipe Steve’s varsity jacket under your desk so he doesn’t see it. You don’t know why you still haven’t thrown it out but you really can’t be bothered to get into another fight with Ari over it.
Earlier in the day, Sharon had texted you asking if you’d wanted to hang out. You’d declined, finding the comfortability of your bed and the prospect of watching old reruns of trashy reality television much more interesting. What you hadn’t expected was Ari Levinson of all people showing up at your door, however. Although, you’re not too surprised. He was still texting you nonstop, wanting to show you how he’d “changed.”
Ari plops the picnic basket on top of your desk, and you sigh, sitting down on your desk chair while he grabs a stool. You already know how this is going to go. He’d tell you to open it, you’d say no, he’d say yes, you’d say no again. Then he’d open it and make you see the contents anyways. You decide to stop wasting either of your time and look inside the basket yourself.
“Cheese sandwiches?”
“Uh huh. And don’t knock it till you try one, sweetheart. My mom makes these for me.” Ari winks before flashing you a smile. And doesn’t contain even a hint of his usual cockiness or smugness – it’s just a regular little smile that makes his eyes light up all pretty too. And you’re not used to it at all, it looks almost displaced on his face. Was he being genuine? You can’t even tell anymore. But probably not.
You pick one up and eye it carefully, and your heart can’t help but throb at the thought of him standing in his kitchen making it for you. Big, bad basketball captain fuckboy Ari Levinson carefully cutting the sandwich into little triangles and packing it up for you in this little picnic basket. How had Ari even gotten hold of a picnic basket to begin with?
“So, it’s a family recipe?” You take a cautious bite.
“Yep. Passed down from generation to generation. Don’t ask me how you make it because it’s a Levinson family secret,” he grabs a sandwich of his own and wolfs it down in two bites, “I mean, you could always become a Levinson yourself and have my kid, then I’d tell you.”
Your cheeks heat up. Oh, a few weeks ago he didn’t even want a relationship with you and now he was joking about marriage and kids?! Would you ever understand him?
“It must be some recipe,” you remark, trying your best to keep your tone even and unamused. Instead of looking at him, you observe the sandwich. It tastes good – he’s used some type of expensive artisan bread and fancy cheese. A step above your average grilled cheese, and it tastes even better on an empty stomach since he was right, you hadn’t eaten anything since last night.
“It is. Have another one,” he thrusts another sandwich in your hand.
Your frown, “Ari, stop, I don’t want–”
“You haven’t eaten all day, (Y/N).” His tone drops, growing more serious.
“Well, stop acting like you care!” You shoot back.
But Ari looks unperturbed as he helps himself to a third sandwich (he was going through them remarkably fast), “I do care.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“Yes, I fucking do,” he says, the slight sharpness in his voice taking you aback. “What other girl have I cooked for and lugged a fucking picnic basket halfway across campus for?”
You settle back begrudgingly, taking another bite out of the sandwich, “I’d hardly call this cooking.”
You know you sound mean and bitter, but it’s like you can’t help it. Like there’s a deep black hole filled with anger still swirling within you. Anger at both Ari and Steve and you don’t know how to sort through it or make it go away.
“Oh yeah? Well, you’ve never cooked for me so I’d say you’re hardly an expert on the subject.” Ari shoots back, grabbing another sandwich from the picnic basket as well as a can of soda. “You want a coke?”
“No.”
You start tearing your sandwich into tiny pieces just so you have something else to focus on and you don’t have to look at his face. Because you’re afraid this newfound earnesty of his, afraid it would reel you back in hook, line and sinker. Afraid he was just putting on an act to convince you he’d “changed.” That’s also why you’re being cold – you can’t let your walls down with him again. Not this time. Not when Sharon was literally your friend now.
“So, I was thinking we could catch a movie after we eat,” Ari continues talking all casually as if the majority of the conversation so far hasn’t been extremely one-sided. “Have you seen the new Godzilla vs Kong? Probably not, you’re not into stuff like that.” He pauses only to consume his sandwich in two huge bites, before grabbing another one. His voracious appetite almost makes you smile. Almost. The only other times you’d seen him look this starved was when he was going down on you…
No, stop! Don’t think about that!
“Sure, we could watch some girly movie instead, but you’d have to pick it because I have no idea about shit like that, obviously–”
“I told you; we can’t go anywhere that Sharon or someone might see us. Besides, the last thing I want to do is go out with you. In fact, you can show yourself out now because I’m gonna go back to bed–”
Ari slams his coke can down on your desk with a loud clunk. You jump, before narrowing your eyes at him. First, he practically broke into your room, then forced you to eat his dumb sandwiches. Now he was making obnoxious noises? Oh, you were just about done with him–
“That’s it.” he grunts, standing up to his full height. You gape up at him, suddenly nervous. You barely have the chance to yelp before he grabs your arm, yanking you up with him.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”
He lifts you up off the ground with ease, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You start pounding on his back immediately, but you only hear him snort in return.
“Put me down right now, Ari! I’m not in the mood for this! Put me down!”
“I gave you a pass to be a little sassy, but you need to remember who’s in charge.” He starts walking across the room. And you may as well have been an insect on his back with how unbothered he was by you wiggling and trying to fight out of his grip. Oh god, what was he going to do?!
Panic bubbles up in your chest, your heartrate increasing tenfold in about five seconds flat. You struggle harder against him, before realising there’s no use. He was way too strong. You shut your eyes and brace yourself; any moment now he’d throw you on the bed and have his way with you just like he always did, just like how Steve had tried to do, and you’d be powerless to stop him because you couldn’t stop anyone, and they all just wanted one thing, and–
“Please don’t,” you whisper, on the verge of tears, “Please, I can’t have sex. I don’t want to have sex, please don’t make me. Please, please don’t make me.”
Ari freezes, and you wish you could see his expression but in your current predicament, dangling over his shoulder, you cannot. But then he starts walking again, and he goes straight past your bed. That’s when you notice the picnic basket in his other hand.
“I’m not trying to sleep with you.” He mutters.
Oh. But then what was he doing?
You get your answer less than a moment later, when he swings your door open and carries you outside. That’s when you start punching his back again.
“Ari, take me back inside! I’m serious, okay? Someone’s gonna see–”
“Then I suggest you stop making so much noise that’s gonna attract attention towards us.” He shoots back, giving you a reprimanding pat on your thigh. Not your ass, you note, but your thigh. Immediately, you shut up. But you fix a scowl on your face, vowing you’d keep it there permanently until he could see it.
A minute later, he dumps you unceremoniously into the passenger seat of his car. By the time you scramble into sitting position, he’s already in the driver’s seat. The doors, predictably, are locked.
“So, it wasn’t enough that you barged into my dorm room uninvited. You felt the need to kidnap me, too?” You snap, irritated yet at the same time slightly amused. But you can’t let him know that. No, you had to maintain your ice queen persona.
“Please,” Ari snorts, starting up the car. “You were talking about going back to bed. If anything, I’m doing you a favour. It’s a nice day, sweetheart, let the sun shine on your face for a few hours.”
You deepen your scowl, crossing your arms over your chest, “I’m not going outside.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m literally not, Ari. Because you didn’t even think to let me put my shoes on.” You wiggle your bare toes, suddenly feeling the strong urge to smile at the ridiculousness of your whole predicament. But you pout to cover it up, suppressing whatever amusement you’re feeling because you don’t want him to see.
“Don’t fucking pout, it makes me want to kiss you.” Ari murmurs, keeping his eyes on the road but you can see him licking his lips.
“Don’t.”
“Did I say I was going to? I said I want to. There’s a difference.”
Again, you want to smile. You quickly turn your head away, looking out the window instead, watching the trees and buildings roll by as he drives you out of campus. “Whatever, just stay away from me.”
“Don’t be a brat.” There’s a warning edge to his tone, one that you’ve come to know very well. But surprisingly, you don’t feel unsafe. For once, you feel like maybe he won’t just stop the car in the middle of nowhere and try to fuck you.
You’ve been in Ari’s car before, and you’re no stranger to how it always goes when you’re in here. Back in the early days of you two hooking up, he’d pick you up in the dead of the night. And you were so innocent, you’d think of these midnight drives as romantic, magical even. He’d have a cigarette in his mouth, his long hair either slicked back or flowing in the cool night air. A wild look in his eyes as he’d pull you inside and kiss you headily while still trying to focus on the road. And he’d have one hand on your thigh, squeezing it before pushing his fingers between your legs.
In his hazy, smoke-filled car, you’d always find yourself underneath him. Splayed out in his backseat while he licked his lips and loomed above you. His dark silhouette so handsome, and you remember thinking how he was such a bad boy, and you were such a good girl, and how hot it was. He’d tell you how much he loved the tight little skirts you always wore, and yet he’d always rip them in half and then laugh and kiss you when you pouted. Tell you how he’d been waiting all day to fuck you, how he just couldn’t wait now that he had you, that he’d been thinking about you and him, that he just had to have you now.
You remember feeling like such a little girl compared to him. Ari was a senior after all, and you only a freshman. Once, you’d tried to impress him by wearing red lipstick. That night, he’d pulled you over the console and made you suck his dick. Till your red lip prints were all over his fat cock, and he’d told you how you were such a good girl, and he loved how cute you were, and that he knew you were trying to impress him.
 All those nights in his car, and you remember each time you’d ask him if he’d broken up with Sharon, and each time he’d tell you that he was “working on it.” That he didn’t see a future with her, that you were so much more special. “I can’t stop thinking about you and I,” he’d say, blue eyes dreamy and you thought he sounded so earnest. And eagerly you’d say the same, excited that someone like him could ever be that interested in someone like you.
And then he’d push you into the backseat, or he’d stay in the driver’s seat and pull you into his lap. Or sometimes, if the place you were parked at was secluded enough, he would take you on the hood of his car. Fuck you in every way imaginable, use your body for his pleasure whilst also giving you the most intense pleasure you’d ever felt. And sometimes, the moonlight would reflect off his eyes and make him look like something so special, and you’d feel so special, and you’d feel like you were in a movie. You still remember it now.
You doubt Ari does, though. You doubt those nights were ever special to him.
“Where are we?” You ask fifteen minutes later when he pulls up somewhere. You peer out the window and see trees – a bunch of them. He’s parked in a clearing, only a single dirt road leading up to it and the rest of the area covered in a thick forest of trees. The sun sparkles through the leaves, and you can hear birds chirping louder than you ever do back in the city. “Are we in the woods?”
“Yep.” He’s out of the car in an instant, grabbing the picnic backet which he’d thrown haphazardly into the backseat before making his way to your door. “C’mon, let’s go.”
“If you think I’m going to hike out into the woods barefoot–”
Ari scoffs, “Don’t worry your pedicured little feet off, princess,” he turns around, “Hop on.”
You eye him carefully, as if you’re assessing a threat. Going into the woods with Ari of all people may not be the best of gameplans for someone who was actively trying to avoid men in general. When Steve had forced himself on you, it had been in his room and luckily Kira had been nearby. The secluded woods, however, were a completely different story.
And yet, it’s like you know deep down that Ari won’t do anything. Not this time. Then again, you’ve been wrong about him before. Were you being naïve all over again?
Maybe you were, but you hop on to his back anyways. His muscular arms catch you easily as you wind your legs around his waist. Your arms lock around his neck and you nestle close to him instinctively. So close that you can smell his grape shampoo, and you admire how pretty his hair is, how it curls up slightly at the base of his neck like he’s a movie star or something.
You hate how you’re still so attracted to him.
He gives you a piggyback ride all the way into the woods, and it’s kind of neat being up so high. Ari was so tall, and with you on his back you felt like you were six foot six inches too. So this is what he sees, you think to yourself, finally indulging in the nature that surrounds the two of you. The way the oak trees soar up as high as skyscrapers, how the smaller trees sway with the breeze. The rustling of the leaves, and you think you hear a distant trickling of water, too.
“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” Ari breaks the comfortable silence, continuing to trek forward into the woods.
You’re about to heartily agree, before you remember the cold persona you’re meant to be adopting with him. So, in the dullest, most bored and nonchalant voice you can muster up, you say: “It’s whatever, I guess.”
He snorts.
You frown, “Are you laughing at me?”
“Nope.” He sounds amused.
“Yes, you are!”
“Well, it’s cute how you’re trying so hard to be something you’re clearly not.”
You’re thankful that he can’t see the way your jaw drops open, “And what exactly do you think I’m trying to be?”
He shrugs, inadvertently bouncing you up and down on his back.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I like this sassy side of you. Especially since I know you’re still the same naïve little baby on the inside.” He looks back at you, and you catch a glimpse of his glittering eyes, framed by those impossibly long eyelashes.
“I am not!”
Ari chuckles, “You can act as tough as you want, it amuses me how cute you look when you do it.”
You scowl, despite the fact that his constant flirting was starting to thaw you from the inside out, making your cheeks burn and your mind feel more muddled than ever. What was the truth and what was a manipulation? This was him just trying to win you over so he could fuck you, right?? Or maybe, maybe he genuinely liked you… Maybe–
You forcibly make yourself scowl again, “Fuck you.”
“Say that again and I’ll drop you,” He threatens.
“Don’t you dare!” You squeal, winding your arms tighter around his neck, almost choking him.
He snickers as if he’s cracked the funniest joke in the world, before continuing to walk. The two of you settle into another spell of comfortable silence. You take in all the bushes full of wild berries, the pretty flowers that are luckily in full bloom, scenting the air with a sweet fragrance that tickles your nostrils pleasantly. Another gentle breeze has you relaxing more against Ari, and you’re almost about to nuzzle your face against his strong shoulder before you catch yourself and freeze.
“I discovered this place last year,” Ari announces five minutes later, gently setting you down on a patch of vibrant grass. To your delight, only a few feet away from you is a stream! The water flows and sparkles in the afternoon sunlight, rushing over rocks and plants and making a pleasant trickling sound that has an oddly calming effect on you. And the grass feels nice against your toes, so much so that you don’t even mind your bare feet on the ground.
You don’t say anything, just watching as Ari settles down beside you with the picnic basket. You stretch your limbs out, secretly happy that he brought you out here, that you didn’t spend another day rotting in bed.
“I found this place last year,” Ari repeats, “A few of us were camping nearby and I hiked out further away to see if I could get cell reception. That’s when I found this place.” He leans back, lying down completely with his arms crossed behind his head, “It’s nice and private here, huh?”
A thought enters your head, jolting you down to the core, “Private? So, this where you brought Sharon? Or your other hookups?”
“No. You’re the first person I’ve ever brought here.”
The straightforwardness of his answer jars you, and you find you have no quip or jab to respond with. Instead, hesitantly, you lie down too. A few inches away from him, but he makes no move to grab you or pull you closer. A large part of you is relieved, but you want to strangle the tiny part of you that’s disappointed that he’s not touched you.
“It’s nice.” You say finally.
“Yeah, I come here sometimes. To admire the nature or whatever.”
That makes you pause, and you look at him incredulously. He’s lying there with his eyes closed, yet he’s got a completely straight face.
“You? Admiring nature?”
Ari scoffs, “Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes, actually.” You can’t imagine Ari of all people, who only cared about basketball, partying and sex, to be one with nature. Unless it was weed. “What aspect fascinated you the most?”
There’s a long beat of silence.
“I don’t know, the plants and shit?”
You can’t help but burst out laughing. And it feels good, to just let go and laugh for a bit. To just forget about how shitty you feel and just laugh. Even if it’s just for a moment, to just forget about how awful Ari’s been to you in the past, how awful Steve turned out to be too, just forget it all and allow yourself to laugh. And you can’t even remember the last time you laughed.
“Haha, very funny,” Ari rolls his eyes, but you can see the slight smile playing on his lips before he clears his throat. “Alright fine, I couldn’t give a fuck about nature. But I do like this place, it’s good for when I need to think.” He hesitates, “When I was dating Sharon, I felt like I never had the space to really think, and so I’d come here.”
You cease your laughter immediately at the mention of her name. Now that you were friends with Sharon, it made it a lot harder to talk about her with Ari. Because now, she was actually a person to you rather than some distant illusion that you tried not to think about. And it wasn’t her fault that Ari felt he couldn’t think with her around. She wasn’t the villain here, Ari was.
You clear your throat, heart suddenly beating very fast. “C-Could I ask you a question? And please don’t lie, okay? Just be honest with me, Ari. For once.”
He nods, not saying anything else.
“Were there others?” You ask hushedly, your tone wavering slightly as you voice the thought you’ve never wanted to speak into existence, never even dared to wonder about. “Was I just one of many girls that you were cheating on her with?”
Ari sits up, rubbing his temple. You watch him carefully, watch how his eyes scrunch shut before opening. He blinks several times, his lips pressed into a thin line before they part and he exhales slowly. Then, he turns your way, looking you dead in the eye.
“No. There were other girls before you, but once I slept with you, it was only you from then on out.”
“Yeah, me and Sharon.” You say bitterly, although the guilt is eating you up inside. You feel guilty for even feeling hurt or bitter, because he was never yours to begin with. Sharon was the girlfriend – she had every right to feel hurt and bitter. You? You were just the other woman. All you should be feeling was guilt and shame. Especially since here you were, out alone with him again when you’d vowed yourself you wouldn’t do this.
You sit back up too, and he makes a move to grab your hand but you shuffle away quickly. You hug your knees, resting your chin against them as you huddle into yourself. You can feel his gaze penetrating holes into you, but you only focus on the steady flow of water in the stream.
“Even with Sharon, it didn’t feel right sleeping with her. Not after I’d been with you.”
 “Then why didn’t you break up with her?” Your voice breaks at the last second, and you turn away from him so he can’t see the lone tear that trails down one side of your face. Just a second ago you’d been laughing and now here you were, crying over the same question that had plagued your mind for months. The question that had been beaten to death, and yet you knew you’d never get a straight up, honest response.
Ari sighs, and you hear him moving closer to you. A second later, he takes hold of your chin, gently turning your face back to him.
“Hey, listen to me. I was an asshole, okay?” He sucks in a breath, closing his eye again for a handful of seconds. You want to look away but you can’t help but watch him, watch as he breathes, watch as he finally opens his mouth again. “Before you came along, I was this guy… This hotshot guy who could do whatever and everyone would just worship the ground I walked on. And, well, I guess I thrived on that. I liked how easily I could use women. I knew I had a girlfriend but I liked how I could get any girl to sleep with me–”
“I don’t want to hear this,” you mumble, pushing away from him.
“No, wait, I’m just trying to explain myself.” He runs a hand through his mane impatiently, “Look, I’ll admit it. All those times I strung you along, it was to feed my own ego. For a while, it felt like I was on top of the world, like I had two girls and neither of them knew any better, and–”
“Stop telling me this,” your voice hitches, more tears rolling down your cheeks.
“I was being a fucking asshole, that’s what I’m trying to say!” Ari grabs your hand as if to stop you from running away, a note of frustration in his tone. Or was it desperation? “I’ve never been good with voicing my feelings and all of that shit, but that’s what I’m trying to do right now. When I saw you with Steve, it’s like he was taking my girl, taking away everything I’ve always wanted. The night of the party, and then again at the game, when I saw you with him… It got me so fucking heated, and I’d never felt like that before. It felt like I was wasting my time in a relationship I clearly didn’t want to be in, and he was moving in on the girl I did want to be with.”
You look up at him, breathing heavily yet not daring to say a word.
“I’m sorry for lying to you, I’m sorry for using you. I’m sorry that it took you being with someone else for me to finally wake up and realise you’re the only one I’ve wanted this whole time.” His hand slips up to cup your cheek, and it’s like you’re frozen. You don’t know if you want to stop him or if you want to lean into his touch. You don’t know if this moment is even real. If this stream is real or if the woods are real or if Ari is real or if he really is saying everything you’ve ever wanted him to say.
“Why couldn’t you have said all this before?” You say shakily, afraid to look him in the eyes in case you see anything other than sincerity, in case you see even an inkling, even the tiniest spark of a hint that he was manipulating you.
“I was immature.” He continues to wipe your tears, before making you look up at him. “I was just so wrapped up in being the guy who could have any girl I wanted, but I promise you I’ve grown out of that now.”
“Really?” Your voice comes out so small, filled with hope mixed with a bit of hesitance.
Ari nods, “You said before that people don’t change overnight. But if you let me show you, I’ll prove to you that I have. And that I’m serious about us.”
Ice queen persona be damned. You feel more tears well up in your eyes. “Y-You are?”
“Yes. I wasn’t going to mention this but…” He runs a hand through his hair, brushing back a wayward lock that flops over his forehead, before taking hold of your hand, “There was an NBA scout at the last game. He said they want to sign me, that a lot of teams are eyeing me as a draft pick.”
Oh. The NBA. That put everything into perspective for you. He wasn’t like you, with three and a half years of college ahead of you. No, he was almost done… And then he’d be gone. You’re happy for him – the NBA was a huge deal after all. But you also feel a little sick, like time’s going by too quickly, like maybe you’re not ready to let go yet after all.
Your mind also briefly flits to Steve. Had he been approached by an NBA scout too? You think back to when you’d last seen him, outside your dorm room with the dark circles under his eyes, the withdrawn look on his face. He didn’t look like someone who’d just been scouted by the NBA. Oh God, were you feeling bad for him now?!
“Congratulations.” You say slowly, not really knowing how to feel. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware of Ari holding your hand, and now it’s like you don’t want him to let go.
“The reason I’m telling you this is because I have it all planned out. Our future.” Ari continues, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen him look. “I know you’ll still be in school, but I really think we could make it work. And by the time you graduate, I’ll have made it. We could settle down together, and I’d make it all up to you. That’s how serious I am about us.”
You simply just stare at him in complete awe. Who was this man? It was like an alien from outer space had taken over Ari’s body. Because the Ari Levinson you knew was a manipulator and a cheater. A man who stayed away from commitment with a ten-foot pole, a man who had just now professed to you that he enjoyed two-timing his girlfriend because it made him feel like he was on top of the world.
And yet… And yet you’re only just a girl, and you can’t help but picture the story his words are painting for you. Just indulge yourself a little bit, just a tiny little bit… You know you’re teetering on thin ice, and you know how dangerous it is to allow yourself hope when it comes to Ari. Hadn’t he squandered your hope time and time again for all those months he never made you his girlfriend?
But you can’t help but imagine, can’t help but think maybe this time he means what he says…
“We could buy a house in the countryside?” You whisper.
Ari cracks a smile, “Sure. And you could pop out a few Levinson babies too, make cheese sandwiches for all of them.”
“I’d have to establish myself as a model or a fashion designer before that.” You say, feeling the corners of your lips twitch upwards as you dare yourself to dream.
He looks amused, “Fashion designer, yes. Model, no. Too many pervy photographers.”
“I’ll be a model if I want to be one!”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“No way.”
“Yes way!”
“Fine. I’ll be in the NBA and you can be a model. Maybe. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He chucks you under the chin playfully, like how he used to do all the time. And you giggle, feeling like you’re floating. Like the two of you are encased in a bubble and you’re floating and time’s standing still and just for this one moment you could pretend everything was alright and your future with him was as secure as he was making it out to be.
“And you’d never lie to me again?”
He nods, “I wouldn’t. Never again.” And then he takes a deep breath, “There’s this fundraising gala thing coming up, and I’m supposed to win an award. I’d love it if you could come with me as my date.” He says with a note of seriousness in his tone, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear.
But rather than let you answer, he instead cups your face with both hands, pressing his forehead against yours. Immediately, the smile on your face freezes, and now you can feel every pore, every muscle, every cell in your body screaming. Screaming for what? For him to kiss you? Oh God…
“Let me kiss you,” he breathes out of nowhere, sounding like he’s parched. “Please, baby. I know I’ve fucked up but I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“Oh, Ari…”
“Please.”
You never thought you’d live to see the day where Ari Levinson was begging you for anything. It was such a stark contrast from how your relationship had begun, almost as if the tables had turned now. Were tables capable of turning that quickly? Or was this all part of an act? Oh, you’re sick of asking yourself that question! What’s real and true is that earnesty in his eyes, and you want to kiss him so bad too. So fucking bad.
He moves closer, and so do you. Inch by inch, almost like first-time lovers. His lips purse slightly, looking so warm and soft and inviting. Closer, so close that they brush against yours for a second, and you can hear him breathing and you know he can hear you too. You wonder if he can hear your heart too, hear how it beats louder for him than it does for anyone else.
“We shouldn’t…” you murmur, but your words are laced with doubt. Just one kiss, your mind cajoles you, just one kiss won’t hurt.
There’s a gentle breeze around the two of you, swirling softly. Rustling through his hair, feeling cool against your face. Encasing the two of you in a private whirlpool where it’s just you two, and the sound of the stream, and the beat of your hearts.
“I know, but I want to so bad,” Ari’s hands are cupping your face so tenderly, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones as he slowly angles your face upwards. “Please, let me kiss you. Just once.”
It’s like the breeze jostles you forward, as if the universe wants you to kiss him. Your willpower’s hanging on by just a thread, your mind swarming with memories of every time you and him had kissed in the past. How magical it had felt for you, how it felt like you could never find someone who’d kiss you like that again. Oh, fuck your willpower!
He surges forward one last time, but his lips have barely touched yours before you pull away, turning your head to the side. Breathing hard, the anticipation still burning through your body in waves. Heart beating like crazy, and yet you swallow and shake your head.
“Ari, we can’t,” you force yourself to say firmly.
Ari sits back, looking slightly dazed and yet running a hand through his hair in frustration. For a second, you wonder if he’ll be mad, call you a tease for leading him on. Call you a slut, tell you how the least you could do was kiss him in return for all he’d done for you today. But he just sighs thoughtfully.
“Not until I come clean to Sharon about everything,” You explain, “And I know about the gala, Sharon told me. I-I’m actually going with her and Wanda, like a girls’ night.”
He raises an eyebrow before nodding slowly, “Well, as long as I get to see you there when I go up on stage to accept the award.”
“Yeah, but we can’t talk or interact or anything. Sharon’s my friend now, and I owe her the truth before anything more can happen between us.”
Ari gazes at you carefully, but there’s a hopeful glint in his eye. “So, it’s just the Sharon issue then. You forgive me for everything else?”
You hesitate. Well, did you? Did you forgive him for leading you on? Lying to you multiple times? Manipulating you? Leaving you drunk and high and alone in a party bathroom? God, why did he have to remind you of the asshole he’d been all this time, up until very recently? It pops the bubble your mind has created right now, the one that you and him were encased in, in this little clearing in the woods.
“I don’t know if I forgive you.” You say honestly, hoping he doesn’t question you further.
To your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, he lies back down on the grass, stretching his long limbs out to make himself comfortable. You watch him as he lazily grabs another cheese sandwich from the picnic basket, wolfing it down before offering you one. Stifling a smile, you shake your head.
Ari shrugs, “Well fine, more for me.”
And it’s later, after the two of you sit there by the stream in comfortable silence for a little while longer. After he’s piggy-backed you back to his car, and after he’s driven you back home. It’s when he’s pulling up to your building, that he puts his hand on your knee to make you look at him.
“I know you said before that nobody changes overnight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying until you see that I have.” He says firmly, his hand feeling so warm on your leg, causing heatwaves to radiate up and down your whole being. “And I know you, baby. I know you like me too. I know you want this to work out between us too. And it will. Once you tell Sharon, and we’re free to be together, everything’s gonna work out. You’ll see.”
Oh, he was so cocky! And yet, it’s a different type of cockiness than what you’ve usually come to associate with him. It’s more of an honest sincerity, this confidence that one day you’ll be his. And oh, you want to believe him! You really do! You want to believe in a perfect world where Ari proves himself to be more than just a manipulative fuckboy, a world where Sharon understands and forgives you for everything.
A world where you forget all about Steve Rogers, and never find yourself thinking about him… Thinking about what could have been.
You say nothing, not until he’s carried you back into your dorm room. Not until he’s about to leave. That’s when you speak.
“Ari?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
He looks surprised, as if he hadn’t really been expecting you to say anything at all after his whole speech. The truth was, you’d been silent for a while now, ever since the two of you had almost kissed in the woods. But there’s a newfound serenity inside you, a feeling that wasn’t there before.
“For what?” He asks, a shy little smile on his face. One you’ve never seen on him before.
For bringing me outside. For taking me to your special place. For not making a big deal out of it when I didn’t want to kiss you. For carrying me. For not losing your patience with me. For making me laugh. For making me smile again.
“For the cheese sandwiches.”
***
The night of the gala is cold for springtime, the blustering winds revving up and roaring to life. Looking outside your window, you can see the smaller trees swaying roughly against the unforgiving nature of what looks to be the beginnings of a windstorm. It gives you a peculiar foreboding feeling, listening to the ominous whistling of the winds, so loud as if they’re warning you. You back away from your window, and yet something inside you doesn’t close it and lock it as you know you should.
You float back over to your vanity table, feeling pretty in your new dress that you and Sharon had gone shopping for, just how she’d promised. You haven’t felt this pretty in a long time, and as you gaze at your reflection, you feel another pang of foreboding. Quickly, you busy yourself with powdering your nose and fixing your hair, wondering if maybe you should have agreed to get ready with Wanda and Sharon after all. You’d told them you wanted some alone time before the busyness of the gala. Some time to yourself where you could draw a bubble bath, and then shave and pluck and preen and pamper yourself till you felt somewhat ready for the big night out.
And it had made you feel better, your solo pamper session. Sure, your thoughts had spun into overdrive as they always did. Replaying all your recent interactions with Ari, with Steve, even with Sharon. The reflection made you chuckle at one point, because when had your life become so like a tumultuous soap opera? With secrets and lies and betrayal and deceit coming from all corners?
A loud gust of wind knocks you out of your reverie, and again you feel it. The feeling that something big is swirling up in the atmosphere, like the howling wind itself is trying to warn you that soon, it would all come to head.
“Fuck you! Try an’ scratch me again and see what happens!”
Your head snaps up at the sound of the familiar male voice. And it’s the proximity that makes your heart skip a beat. The voice sounded close, like it was coming from mere feet away from you. Fearfully, you look back at your window, only to see that same angelic face you know so well seemingly levitating outside.
“Steve?” You whisper, blinking several times. He doesn’t seem to hear you, and you wonder whether you’re imagining things. Slowly, you venture forward, back to your window which lies open. And that’s where you find him, standing on the ledge outside of your bedroom window which was two storeys high.
Steve whacks a wayward branch that looks to be tangled in his jacket. And his movements are oddly sluggish as he flips the bird at the tree adjacent to your building which the brand is attached to. “Damn stupid fuckin’ tree, tryna pick a fight with me,” he mutters before his eyes fall on you, and they brighten up instantly, “Hey, baby girl, fancy seeing you here!”
And then he bursts into a fit of giggles, while you just stare at him in awe, your mind still not having come to terms with the fact that Steve had somehow climbed all the way up to your window. In the dark. With the wind blustering insanely around him. Warily, you peek downwards, heart jumping all the way up to your throat when you see how he’s just casually balancing on the extremely thin ledge, the street below looking very minuscule with how high up your floor was.
“How did you get up here?” You breathe, still half in shock that he’s here that you forget how explosively your last encounter with him had gone down.
“Who, me?”
“Yes, of course you. Who else!?”
He shrugs, “Scaled that tree over there, then it decided to scratch me so I fought it off an’ jumped onto the ledge. Now here I am!” He ends his explanation with a flourish that causes him to stumble backwards. It almost happens in slow motion; you don’t even have a chance to react to what you’re seeing. But he catches his balance again just in time, grinning up at you mischievously.
“Whoops!” He laughs heartily, a type of laugh you’ve never really heard from him before. He shuffles along the ledge till he finds a spot he’s more comfortable with, leaning in through your window and shooting you a smile, “almost fell to my death there, didn’t I?”
“Steve, you need to get back down. You’ll hurt yourself.” You bite your lip, wondering whether you should let him in through your window just so he’d be safe. But the thought of being alone with him within the four walls of a bedroom again gives you the creeps, and so you refrain.
“Maybe I want to hurt myself,” he answers, staring at you almost quizzically. His lips are full, his cheeks flushed. His hair looks longer and even more unkempt than last time, that stubble still on his face, his eyes dark and unfocused. It was weird, because you’d always known Steve to be meticulously well-groomed and almost preppy with his clean-cut good looks. He was still handsome as ever now, but he looks darker, almost tortured, with dark bags under his eyes and even his cheeks looked kind of hollow.
“I’m serious, climb back down.”
“I just wanted to see you again,” he breathes softly, and his entire expression morphs to tender as he reaches out to touch your face. “And I knew you wouldn’t let me in the normal way.”
You can’t help but flinch away, and he sighs, bringing his hand back down to grip at your windowsill, “You’re so pretty.”
That’s when you smell it. Vodka. Suddenly, his erratic behaviour makes a lot more sense. His pupils are dark and blown out, and he’s swaying dangerously on the spot.
“You’re drunk, Steve.”
“Nah,” he bats his hand dismissively, but with such force that he stumbles forward. And again, your heart lurches in your throat, thinking he’s going to fall. But lithely, he grabs on to something or the other, regains his balance, and flashes you another smile, “okay, maybe a little bit. But being drunk helps.”
You frown, not knowing whether to feel scared or concerned, “What do you mean?”
He shrugs, “Helps to forget all the shitty stuff.”
A wave of anger passes through you, “Shitty stuff? You mean like all the awful things you said to me when you tried to force yourself on me?” Hell, maybe you should be the one drinking if it meant you could forget how he’d called you an easy slut.
Steve bows his head, still swaying slightly, “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Don’t call me baby.”
“Okay. I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“Stop it, Steve. I’m serious.”
He sighs again, “So am I. I hate how I lose control like that. It’s like I zone out, and something takes over me and I’m there on fucking standby. Watching this one version of myself lash out and say all these shitty things an’ I can’t do anything to stop it.  And when I zone back in, it’s too late an’ I can’t take anything back.”
He explains with surprising eloquence, despite being so drunk.  And God, why did he have to look all rugged and heartbroken right now? Dismissing him would be so much easier if he was ugly.
There’s an emotion swelling up inside you as you look at him now, but you try to suppress it. Instead, remembering your ice queen persona, you cross your arms over your chest and force yourself to narrow your eyes. “Is that your explanation? That you zoned out? Because honestly, the lack of accountability–”
“I don’t think you’re a slut,” Steve interrupts you, “you’re sweet, and beautiful, and innocent. That’s what I thought the night I first saw you. And sure, I guess I used you because I was trying to get back at him–”
You flinch. There it was again. The reminder that Steve had indeed used you. And you’d fallen for it… Hook, line and sinker.
“–but at least I’m honest enough to admit it. Doesn’t that count for something?”
He finishes, blinking up at you with large eyes framed with those impossibly thick lashes, as if waiting for you to respond. When you don’t, he sighs, swaying again as another strong gust of wind attacks from the outside.
“I like you a lot, okay? I know I haven’t known you as long as he has, but it doesn’t matter. I think what we have is special.”  He swallows, his eyes squinting as he searches across the plains of your face, either trying to gauge your thoughts or trying to come up with the right words to say next. “And I know I fucked it up because that’s what I always do. So fuck it, I don’t care anymore.”
He shoves his hand inside his jacket, conjuring up a glass bottle of Gray Goose vodka out of what seems to be thin air. Your jaw drops open as you watch him take a hearty swig from it – and it was already half empty!
“Okay, that was a lie. I do still care.” He wipes his mouth roughly, stumbling about and still very much on the window ledge. “There’s just so much going on inside my head,” he says, and he demonstrates by smacking the side of his head with his open palm, “School, basketball, taking care of Kira – all of it just keeps building up. And I try my best, okay?” He loses his footing and sways some more, “but it’s never enough, and all my thoughts get louder and louder, like voices fucking screaming inside my head, and then I just explode. And I get so fucking angry, and it’s always directed towards the wrong people – whoops!”
He slips. You cry out in terror and impulsively grab hold of his arm. But he regains his balance and barks out a laugh, as if he’s tripped whilst taking a simple stroll in the park and not currently balancing on top of a very high and very dangerous ledge.
“It wouldn’t matter if I fell, you know?” He muses, taking another long swig of the vodka. And he doesn’t even flinch as the bitter liquid goes down his throat, as if the taste no longer has any effect on him. “I mean, my life’s a fucking mess already. Basketball’s completely fucked, anyways…”
“What do you mean?” You ask, your heart pitter-pattering in fear. His overtly reckless behaviour is scaring you, and you realise you’re holding your breath as you watch him callously standing there.
Steve shrugs, “Got kicked off the team today.”
Oh. You feel a surge of pity. And you know you shouldn’t. Not after how he treated you. And yet you can’t help it. Tonight, Ari was going to win an award for being the best basketball player of the season, and in the summer, he was going to the NBA. You can’t help but feel for Steve’s starkly different fortune.
He takes another gulp of vodka, “Coach said I couldn’t control my emotions and I’d keep costing the team if I continued playing.” He gazes off into the distance, and you try to gauge his expression but it’s quite unreadable. He laughs bitterly and smiles again, but it looks more like a grimace, “Fuck him. He’s right, but fuck him anyways.”
“Steve, this is dangerous. You could fall–”
“Fuck basketball,” he continues swaying around like he hasn’t even heard you, “it’s not like I was ever gonna make it to the NBA, anger issues or not. No, I have to become a surgeon. Like my parents.” His words slur and ring with sarcasm, and he barks out another laugh, “If I don’t fuck that up too…”
“I’m sorry that happened, but–”
He scoffs, “Can’t even fucking imagine being a doctor. My patients would probably be scared of me, just like how you are.”
“Please, just get down–”
“And Kira…” His expression morphs from bitter to sad in less than a second, and he clutches your hand suddenly. The one that you hadn’t realised was still holding on to his arm. And you don’t pull away, almost like you don’t want to. Either that, or you want to keep hold of him so he doesn’t fall.
Steve coughs, “God, I wish I took care of her better. I feel so fucking guilty, living on campus while she lives by herself in our house. Our parents are never home, they don’t even know what she went through… How she doesn’t even speak to anyone but me, how she doesn’t go out anymore...”
Another long swig. It’s a wonder the bottle isn’t empty yet. You want to interject, beg him once more to climb back down to safety, or at least hand you the vodka so he doesn’t drink anymore. But he’s not done speaking, and cuts you off when you try to get a word in edgewise.
“My parents, the award-winning heart surgeons!” He raises the vodka bottle up in the air in a mock toast, “They’re here, there, everywhere around the fucking world!” Another swig, more swaying. “Everywhere except for at fucking home. So then I have to handle everything, don’t I?”
“Steve–”
“They don’t even know how bad she’s gotten, how their own daughter’s shut herself off from everyone.” Steve shakes his head in both resignation and frustration, “and I try so fucking hard, okay? Try to help her with her anxiety, help her make new friends. God, all I do is worry about her. And school. And basketball. While they jet across the world doing their fancy surgeries and not giving a damn about her or me. Fuck them!”
Whoa. Wow. Okay. Now, you look at Steve with new eyes – you had no idea there was so much going on in his life, in his head. It still didn’t excuse the way he’d spoken to you, the way he’d forced himself on you – and yet… Yet you can’t help but feel another pang of sorrow and pity for him.
His eyes are dark and stormy as he looks out into the early evening sky, before looking back to you. His gaze falls down to your hand holding on to his arm, and he smiles softly.
“You were the only thing in my life that was good.”
You shake your head, your barriers going back up, and you try to pull your hand away, “No. Stop lying, Steve, just don’t even try it, don’t even–”
“No, it’s true!” He insists, holding on tightly to your hand as if he’s on a sinking ship and you’re his only lifeline. “That one week before I fucked it all up, that one week when we were just texting. I’d be on my phone, smiling like a fucking fool. You can ask Kira! She knew about you because I couldn’t stop talking to her about you.”
You bite your lip, and despite everything, you find yourself wanting to believe him so bad. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind has Steve clutching your hand even harder as he teeters on the ledge, bringing his face closer to yours, his eyes hooded and lashes fanning over those impossibly sharp cheekbones.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says.
“Don’t, Steve…”
He sighs, breaking eye contact as he plays with the glass bottle in his hand. But his other hand seems to move off its own accord, his pointer finger trailing up your bare arm. And it’s so intimate, that simple touch, leaving a trail of fire and goosebumps in its wake. Your skin feels like it’s buzzing, burning almost, as he traces his finger up your shoulder blade, as if he’s testing to see how much you’d let him touch you.
“I miss you.”
You feel your resolve crumbling…
“No, you don’t. All we did was text for one week. We never even went on a date, so you can’t possibly miss what you never had.”
“And yet I still miss you.”
He leans in, his eyes fluttering shut. His lips look so pink, so warm, so hesitantly inviting. Slightly pursed, as if he doesn’t know if it’s going to happen but he’s going to try anyways. Another sharp gust of wind blows past, almost pushing him into you as if even the universe itself is cajoling you to just give in to him. You can smell the alcohol on his pores, and yet you can also feel his warmth, his musky cologne, the way his breath hitches as if he can’t believe this kiss is actually happening…
Except you turn your head at the last second, and he sighs.
“Should’ve seen that coming,” he says to the evening sky, “lost my place on the team, lost my girl, I wonder what I’ll lose next? You wanna take any guesses? Hey, maybe I’ll lose my balance! That would be funny, wouldn’t it?”
You watch as he looks down, all the way down to the ground with a peculiar gleam in his eye. The type of gleam that reflects that he’s a man with nothing to lose. And it’s a long way down. What the hell was he thinking?!
“He really fucked her up,” Steve murmurs softly to himself, a whisper that almost gets lost in the great gusts of wind that swirl around the two of you. “And I tried to do something about it, tried to get back at him, but I fucked it up. I always fuck up. Maybe it’s best if I just–”
“Steve, stop it! Stop being so reckless!”
You tug hard at his arm, and at the same time a heavy wind blows. Steve stumbles again, but mercifully, he falls forward instead of back. Through your window and right on top of you. You both land on the floor with a thud, and despite how drunk he is, he manages to bring his hands out in front of him, preventing you from getting crushed by his huge frame.
“Whoops. Sorry, baby.”
He flashes you a cocky smile, as if he hadn’t just been teetering on your window ledge in the middle of a sad, drunken rant. The bottle of vodka is still snugly clutched between his fingers, somehow having also survived the fall onto your hard bedroom floor.
You open your mouth to tell him to get off of you, but the words die inside your throat. Instead, you look up at him, at his face so close to yours. So close that his nose is an inch away from brushing against your own. And his eyes, navy and blown out and yet still so pretty, blink down at you imploringly. The last time, when you’d been in his bedroom, they’d looked so stormy and far away. And here, now, he was drunk and yet he looked present. And you realise that you don’t feel unsafe at all.
“I really, really want to kiss you right now,” Steve says, slurring and stumbling over his words.
“Don’t.” You warn him, although you notice your own lack of conviction. In that moment, had he actually done it you don’t think you’d have objected too much. But you don’t want to give in to him, not after how scary he’d been last time. Despite everything, you still haven’t forgotten.
He nods slowly, “I know, fuck, I know…”
Shakily, he gets off of you, swaying slightly as he gets on his feet, and then he yanks you up too. Before you can stop him, he takes another swig of vodka before his eyes once again settle on you.
You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard, biting his lip as his dark eyes drink you in. In your form-fitting emerald dress that wraps around your body like a second skin of smooth satin. The ruching which accentuates your curves even more, the delicate lace detailing, the smooth dip of your cleavage. The gleam of your bare legs that peak through the slit of the dress. The demure heels that makes them look longer than ever. And yet you can’t help but shift shyly under his intense gaze.
“You’re all dressed up,” Steve says softly, reaching out to touch you before thinking better of it, curling his outstretched hand into a fist and pushing it down to his side, “You look… incredible.”
“Th-Thank you.”
“You going somewhere?”
“Uh… yes.”
He nods before his brow furrows, “Is he taking you out?”
“What–?”
“Levinson. Is he taking you out? Are you two together now?” His tone hardens, and you feel your heart jump up to your throat. Oh, please let him not get all angry again like how he did last time!
“No.” You say firmly, “There’s this gala, this fundraiser thing at the Hilton Hotel. That’s where I’m going. Me and Sharon and Wanda.”
“No Levinson?”
You shake your head, “N-No, Steve.” It was only white lie, because you weren’t going with Ari and you probably wouldn’t speak to him tonight. It was a girl’s night out, if anything. Plus, you’re scared that Steve might flip out if he knew that Ari would be there too.
“You promise?” He looks at you meaningfully, and he’s got that same intense look again. The look you’ve grown to associate with him, that eery, almost glassy stare. “Promise me, Y/N. Promise me that you aren’t going out with Ari.”
You don’t owe him anything, certainly not any promises. And yet, yet you can’t help but nod, “I promise, Steve. In fact, Sharon and Wanda are on their way to pick me up.”
Steve nods approvingly, looking somewhere beyond you. His eyes look sad once again, and he takes another long, lingering sip of vodka. “Good girl. You stay away from him, okay? All he does is hurt people.” He shakes his head, his mouth pulling downwards in a grimace, “He hurt her so bad.”
You frown, “Hurt who? Sharon?”
The blond doesn’t answer, but he continues talking to himself. “What did she ever do to him? He didn’t give a damn about her, and now look at her…”
You feel an uneasy wave of guilt, “You mean Sharon, don’t you? I know…”
Steve frowns, opening his mouth to answer you before he grows distracted by something beyond your shoulder. A slow smile spreads across his face, and he stumbles over to your desk in the corner of the room.
“My jacket!” He grabs the blue and white varsity jacket he’d given you the night of the party, “You still have it. You kept it.”
“You can take it back!” You say quickly, a bit too quickly judging by how his face falls. Quickly, he drops the jacket as if it’s made of hot coals, a bitter look enveloping his features.
“You should throw it away. Or burn it.” He says simply, throwing his head back and taking a hearty sip of his vodka, “thought you would’ve looked cute wearing it to one of my games but I since I won’t be playing anymore, there’s no point anymore, is there?”
What follows is an uncomfortable silence. And oh, why was he making you feel bad for him now?! After everything he’d said and done? But then he’d apologised too… Were you being too hard on him? Now you feel more confused than ever!
You sigh, “Steve… Look, I just don’t know how to act around you. One second, you’re so intense, and you’re calling me a slut, and you’re being all scary. And then the next it’s like your entire personality changes. And I just… I don’t know what to believe, okay?”
“Why can’t you just believe that I’m sorry for what happened? I’m sorry for all of it.”
You shift uncomfortably, looking down at your heel-clad feet. You wrack your brain, trying to choose your next words carefully, “I… do believe that you’re sorry.”
He stands there expectantly, as if waiting for you to say something more, to say that you forgive him, perhaps? But you don’t think you do. Do you? A few more empty seconds pass before he clears his throat.
“They put me on some kind of medication. Added it to the ones I already take.” He volunteers, breaking the silence. He avoids your gaze now, instead focusing on his bottle of vodka, tossing it from one hand to the other and tapping at the glass. “For my anger and mood swings, or whatever.”
You nod, “That’s good, right? You saw a doctor?”
He snorts, “No. My parents just heard about me flipping out and contacted the family physician Got him to prescribe me all these different pills. But this,” he raises the vodka up in the air and waves it around, “This helps more than any medication ever could. It stops all the screaming in my head. And luckily, Mom and Dad left the house full of booze, so I’m all good to go.”
You nod slowly, furrowing your brow, “Steve, maybe you shouldn’t be drinking while you’re on medication–”
Your phone vibrates loudly from its place on your bed, the sound shaking you from the inside out. Even Steve blinks several times, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding as you make your way over to your phone. It’s like the bubble of intensity the two of you have been encased in has popped, and now you’re back in the real world. It was crazy, because being inside the bubble felt intoxicating, like everything was moving in slow motion, like you were in some sort of fairytale and the troubled prince had just climbed in through your window.
Your screen glows with a new text.
Sharon: We’re on our way! Wanda’s already so drunk lol we’ll be there in ten minutes!
Oh no. You’d rather your friends didn’t run into a drunken Steve Rogers when they came to pick you up. Especially not when you were supposed to have sworn off men anyways.
“Steve, you–”
“–I need to go,” he completes sombrely, picking at a piece of loose thread on the sleeve of his expensive-looking sweater, “I know, I know.” His eyes narrow, “That wasn’t Ari, was it? Who texted you just now?”
“No.” 
He relaxes, “Good. Okay, I guess I’ll leave then.”
You chew your bottom lip anxiously, “H-How will you get back? You didn’t drive here yourself, did you?”
He waves your question off as if it isn’t important, backing away towards your door, “You don’t worry about me, sweetheart.”
“Steve Rogers, don’t you dare drive back home in the state you’re in!”
He just stares at you, that same bittersweet look on his face. Finally, he nods, “I’ll be fine. I came here with Bucky.”
You nod, “Okay, then. As long as you don’t drive…”
Steve shoots you a sad smile, one that doesn’t really reach his eyes. His eyes that are still glued on just you, only you. He crosses his hand over his chest, “I promise I won’t. Scout’s honour… Although I was never a scout, so who knows if you can take my word. Ha ha.”
He finally makes it to your door, almost as if he’d been walking in slow motion, wading through quicksand. Why? Because he didn’t want to leave? And you feel a lump in your throat, one that won’t go no matter how many times you swallow. There’s an odd yearning inside you, like an itch on your hand. No, an itch in your heart. Your fingers twitch as if wanting to reach out to touch him. Did you not want him to leave, either?
You press your lips together, rooting yourself in place as you watch him go. At the last second, he turns back around again.
“I am sorry, okay? Sorry about everything.”
Once more, all you do is nod. The expectancy in his eyes fades away and he sighs, his hand resting on the doorknob as he goes to shut the door. 
A second passes. But it feels like the longest second you’ve ever lived. Like your heart seems to beat about a thousand times in that one second, like a drum reaching crescendo. Feeling like you’ve reached that part in the movie, that page in the book where the climax happens and then everyone can breathe again. Outside, the winds seem to be charging up again, readying themselves for an almighty, blustering blow. And you can feel the booming whistle of the winds ringing all around you, when you suddenly drop your phone on your bed and rush over to the door before you can think better of it.
“Steve, wait!”
You press your lips to his in a searing kiss, catching him completely off-guard. He stumbles back slightly, either by how strongly you’ve jumped on him or because of his own inebriation. Either way, he recovers quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against him as he reciprocates your kiss.
And you don’t know why you’re kissing him, but it’s like your body’s gone past the point of rationale. Like your lips and your limbs have a mind of their own and your brain is no longer part of the conversation. And Steve’s lips feel so soft, and this time you feel like it’s you in control. He’s too drunk to take charge, you suspect, as his lips move languidly against yours.
Your hands cup his face, his bristly skin pricking the pads of your fingers, and yet it doesn’t bother you. Not when he’s kissing so softly, so cautiously like he’s afraid he could hurt you again. It’s you who presses your tongue against his, stroking it, biting and nipping at his lips. He smirks at your overexcitement, finally injecting more passion into the kiss by tipping your head back slightly and pressing his lips harder against yours.
He tastes like vodka, but you don’t mind. He also tastes kind of sweet, kind of irresistible. And oh, you know this makes no sense! And you know you shouldn’t be kissing him! What about Ari? What about your own dignity? What about swearing off all men? What about–?
You pull away as abruptly as you’d kissed him, and both of you stand there breathless for a handful of seconds. Your lips still tingle pleasantly, and before he can say anything, you gently pry the bottle of vodka from his hand.
“I’ll keep this, okay?” You say softly, holding it behind your back. There’s still quite a bit left in it, and Steve looks like he’s one sip away from disaster. Or at least a very bad headache tomorrow morning. You pray it’s only the latter.
But he’s got a sparkle in his eye now, and he doesn’t spare the vodka a second glance, “It all went away for a second.”
“What went away?”
“All the fucking screaming in my head. All that pressure I was telling you about. Kissing you made it all go away. Your lips are magic, baby girl. Better than the vodka.”
“Oh.” You don’t know what else to say, but you feel a lurching pull in your heart nonetheless.
“Yeah, like I’m numb to it all now. Comfortably numb. And it’s such a fucking relief.” He closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s savouring the feeling. You’re so intently looking at him that you don’t even notice when he grabs your hand, and his eyes flutter open, “So you forgive me?”
You hesitate, “Steve, I…I don’t know.”
His serene smile freezes on his face, and he drops your hand like it’s a hot poker. You feel it again in your heart, that lurching fee ling that you can’t place. You watch as his face falls, almost in slow motion. And it feels like you’re sitting front row in the cinema, watching his expression turn sad, his eyes clouding over once more like he was depending everything on your forgiveness.
“Okay. Goodbye.”
He stumbles out of your room, out into the stairwell where he trips before grabbing on to the banister.
“Steve, please be careful,” you say again, your tone laced with worry.
He glances back at you, that ever-charming smile back on his face. Back from when you’d seen it that first night when you’d met him. Almost like he’s put on a mask. He gives you a sluggish thumbs-up, “I’ll be fine. I’m comfortably numb, remember? I just hope it lasts…”
What the hell did that mean? Should you go after him? You hear your phone vibrate loudly, and you glance back at your bed to see it glowing with several new texts. But then you look back at the stairwell to find it empty. He was gone. Gone like a gust of wind. Gone like he was never there.
But he was. You can still feel him on your lips.
As if in a dream, you float back into your room and pick up your phone. Two new texts.
Sharon: We’re five minutes away! Traffic’s crazy lol.
Ari: Hey. I just want to say that I’m happy you’re coming tonight. Even if we don’t get to speak, just know you’ll be on my mind all night. Fuck. That was cheesy. Anyways. See you there :).
You sink down on your bed, already feeling exhausted and mentally drained. Despite the fact that the night was nowhere near over yet. In fact, it hadn’t even begun.
***
“Where’s Curtis?” Wanda wonders aloud, scanning the sprawling banquet hall and immediately grabbing a flute of champagne from an elegantly dressed waiter holding a tray full of them.
The banquet hall where the gala is being held at the Hilton is reasonably full, and you recognise a bunch of familiar faces from campus – both students and professors. Everyone’s dressed smartly – the men in tuxedos and the women in evening gowns and dresses. Sharon and the decorating committee have done a great job; each table swathed in ivory cloth, with red rose centrepieces and golden gilded chairs. Matching golden lights against an otherwise dark room gives an almost ethereal ambiance.
“He’s probably over on table 2 with the rest of the basketball team,” Sharon nods to a table at the front of the room near the stage. “I did the seating arrangements and the place-cards.”
Predictably, table 2 is the rowdiest table in the entire banquet hall. Clearly, the basketball team didn’t give two fucks about what was considered proper black-tie etiquette. You can see Ransom Drysdale and Andy Barber having some kind of a drinking competition, chugging down wine glass after wine glass as if they were cans of beer. Lloyd is acting like their referee, half on top of the table as he tries eggs them on. Colin is laughing his head off as he looks to be live-streaming this whole performance on his phone. And then there’s Ari.
And oh, he looks so breathtaking! Your heart physically skips a beat when you see him. His brown hair slicked back sexily, but the ends curling around his stiff white collar. His tuxedo looks well-tailored and expensive – Armani probably – and a white bow tie that makes him look more handsome than ever. He’s sat in the middle of his table, looking very much like the leader of his group. A smirk on his face as he watches his teammates horse around, but then his eyes meet yours, and the cocky smirk turns into the most adorably lovesick smile that does not look like it belongs on his face – only because you’ve never really seen him smile like that ever before.
“Oh gosh, there’s Ari,” Sharon says, coming up closer to your side and making you snap your eyes away from her ex-boyfriend immediately. The blonde takes a few deeps breaths to calm herself, “And he’s looking straight at me! Well, who cares? I’m not gonna let him affect my night. In fact, I’m gonna go over to him to prove how unbothered I am–”
Before you know what’s happening, she starts making a beeline straight over to table 2 – with you in tow! Wanda follows, her eyes still searching the room for Curtis as she downs her champagne quickly.
“Hello, Ari,” Sharon says stiffly, hanging on to your arm for dear life. You hope you don’t look as mortified as you feel, watching as Ari looks up at the two of you, his charming little smile still on his face.
“Hi.” He answers her, giving her a quick nod before his eyes shift to you, and you see them sparkle as he looks you up and down, taking in your emerald dress, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards again in another sweet little smile. Oh God, damn him for being so obvious!
“Well, I just came here to congratulate you on your award,” Sharon says, a determinedly happy-yet-nonchalant look plastered on her face. “So, well, congratulations.”
Ari nods again, physically tearing his eyes away from you, “Thanks.”
“Where’s Curtis, you guys?” Wanda interrupts the awkward exchange, looking expectantly at the basketball team. You watch as she grabs another champagne from another cocktail waiter who happens to pass by, downing it as quickly as she had the first.
Ransom snickers, “He’s somewhere around here, sweetheart. But I wouldn’t bother him if I was you, he’s kinda busy.”
Wanda doesn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence before she’s off, weaving across the banquet hall at lightning speed. You watch her, mildly concerned as she grabs yet another glass of champagne, her previous one still in her other hand. She’d been antsy the whole ride over, because apparently Curtis wasn’t texting her back, and hadn’t since last night.
“She’s already a mess,” Sharon murmurs to you under her breath before smiling brightly at Ari, “Well, see you around, Ari.”
He nods at her for the third time, before his eyes rest on you once more. There’s a hint of yearning within them, and his lips twitch as if he wants to say something. Oh, when did it get so easy to read his expressions? Did you know him that well now? He gives you a soft, private smile – one you know is meant just for you. One that seems to convey a thousand words in just a single twitch of a muscle. You almost return it, before remembering who you’re with.
“Thank God, he didn’t bring her,” Sharon mutters to you as the two of you walk away from jock table.
“Huh?”
“The little skank he cheated on me with. I would’ve died if he brought her along as his date.”
You gulp, eyeing one of the champagne flutes yourself. After tonight, you absolutely had to come clean to Sharon. There was no other choice, you’d kept this secret long enough. And if it meant she’d no longer be your friend, then so be it. You deserved that. But no more excuses, you had to tell her tonight after this event was over.
And the event itself is fine. You hang out with Sharon while she makes small talk with a bunch of different people. You don’t talk much, simply staying quiet and observing. People’s outfits, their makeup, their shoes, everything. It’s nice to be out and about again, after spending what felt like an eternity rotting in your dorm room and feeling sorry for yourself. You even find yourself catching Ari’s eye every now and again, and each and every time he’d give you his sweet little private smile that made you want to die. You’d look away, of course, or busy yourself with talking to Sharon or someone else, just so you wouldn’t smile back. Even though you wanted to. You really, really wanted to.
You do get a handful of texts from him though.
Ari: You look beautiful.
Ari: I can’t take my eyes off you.
Ari: Seriously, I don’t think you realise how beautiful you look right now.
You don’t reply, but you know he can see you looking down at your phone and smiling like crazy.
About a half hour into the gala, the hosts beckon everyone to sit at their assigned tables because the award ceremony is about to begin. That’s when you notice that Wanda’s been missing for a while now. You scan the room while a retired basketball coach hobbles his way onto the stage, beginning a very long-winded speech on how he’d single-handedly led the St. Andrews’ team to victory back in 1993. Where the hell was Wanda? You realise you’ve been so wrapped up in the event and playing secret smiling games with Ari from across the room to notice that you hadn’t seen her since the three of you had arrived here.
Luckily, you spot her stumbling towards the bathrooms that are in a corridor off the main banquet hall. Stumbling being the key word, and you quietly curse yourself for allowing her to drink so much. God, Ari was just so distracting! Even when you weren’t even speaking to him, just his presence alone was making you forget about everyone else!
You tell Sharon you’re going to get Wanda before quietly sneaking away, hoping to discreetly bring her back before she wanders off somewhere else. You just hope
“Wanda, hey! Wait up!” You catch up to her, “Let’s go back to the banquet hall.”
Wanda rolls her eyes, “Leave me alone, Y/N. I’m looking for my boyfriend.”
Oh. She still hadn’t found him yet?
“C’mon, our table’s this way,” you try again, grabbing her hand, about to lead her away. Then you notice her eyes light up as she looks beyond your shoulder.
“Baby, there you are!” Wanda slurs brightly, snatching her hand out of your grip and making a beeline down the hall. You whip around to see Curtis closing the bathroom door behind him, his other hand wiping his mouth. His tie loose around his neck and top collar button undone. And you also see a tiny brunette in a silver dress slip out of the bathroom behind him, the dim lights of the hallway swallowing her up as she slinks away into the darkness, Wanda not even noticing her.
“Wanda.” Curtis blinks, looking entirely unperturbed. “You’re here.”
She hits him playfully on the shoulder, “Of course, I’m here. I came with the girls, remember? And I wanted to support you!”
He scratches the back of his head, “Yeah. Cool. Look, I’m gonna go back to the boys–”
“Great, let’s go!” Wanda links her arm with his, making his jaw tense and eyebrow raise. And you watch this whole ordeal with a sinking feeling in your stomach.
“Babe, remember how I told you this event was a no date kind of thing?” Curtis carefully peels himself away from her, making her pout. You cringe when she doesn’t get the message, grabbing his bicep again, her manicured nails like talons holding on with all her might.
“But I missed you, baby,” Wanda smiles up at him drunkenly. “I’ve been looking for you all night!”
Curtis visibly cringes, “Come on, babe, don’t be like this.” Again, he dislodges his arm from her grip, pushing her off of him not-so-gently. “I’m here with the team tonight, but I promise I’ll come by your room later. Maybe. Like way after midnight probably.”
You can’t hide your disgust, openly frowning and shaking your head at him. God, why did all men suck so much?
“Come on, Wanda,” You grab her hand once more, “You don’t need him to enjoy your night. Let’s go.”
“Um, fuck off, Y/N, I’m talking to my boyfriend right now.” Wanda pushes you off her before sidling up to Curtis again.
You gape at her, feeling a pang of hurt. She’s just drunk, she didn’t mean to say that…
Curtis sighs, rolling his eyes, “Listen to your friend, Wanda. I gotta go.”
“I’ll come with you!”
For a third time, she grabs on to his arm tightly. That’s when Curtis huffs, clearly annoyed.
“Look, I don’t know what you think is going on between us, but stop acting like we’re in some serious relationship or whatever.” He says, a frown bordering on disgust on his face as he shakes her hand off of him.
Wanda gapes, and even your mouth drops open. How dare he? How fucking rude!
“Baby, you don’t mean that–”
“I mean sure, we have fun together but please don’t get the wrong idea, Wanda. You can’t just chase me down at these public events like you own me or something. That’s not how this works. In fact, all it does is make you look kind of desperate.” He continues, getting his phone out and nonchalantly scrolling through it as if this whole painful conversation isn’t even worth his time.
How the hell was he speaking to his own girlfriend like that?
“I-I’m sorry for being desperate, Curtis,” Wanda says earnestly, her eyes wild and pupils dilated, “Please, don’t do this! Don’t break up with me like this!”
He rolls his eyes, “Do what? I’m not doing anything! I can’t break up with someone who was never my girlfriend to begin with. Sure, we had fun for a few weeks but it’s not like we were ever exclusive, let alone dating. You were too clingy for my liking anyways.”
“Curtis, that’s enough!” You admonish, your heart breaking for poor Wanda. Curtis was a joke.  You can’t believe he’s standing here denying he was ever in a relationship with her. Hell, you’d been a third wheel to them enough times in the past month to know the two of them had definitely been a thing. How the hell was he just so casually gaslighting her now, as if none of that ever happened? God, you would never understand men!
Curtis glances at you, a devilish twinkle in his eye before he turns to Wanda again, “Hell, I’m pretty sure I tried to sleep with your friend Y/N before I settled for you that night at the party.”
“Oh, you’re such an asshole!” You explode, pulling Wanda away, “Stay away from her, you piece of shit! C’mon, Wanda.”
What you haven’t noticed is Wanda standing deathly still. She snatches her hand away from you, a look of absolute loathing, shock and betrayal on her face. And a part of you wants to see her give an asshole like Curtis a piece of her mind. But then she turns to face you, her eyes drunk and accusatory.
“Y-You…” she points at you, swaying in her heels from all the alcohol in her system, “You slept with my boyfriend?”
“What? No, he tried to sleep with me, but I wasn’t interested. It really wasn’t a big deal–” You try to hold her hand to calm her down, hoping she doesn’t make a big scene.
“Later, ladies.” Curtis grins, squeezing past the two of you and strutting over to table 2 with the rest of his team. You watch him for a moment, slack-jawed at his nonchalance and how badly he’d just hurt your friend.
“I can’t believe you!” Wanda hisses, pulling away from you yet again. “I can’t believe you slept with him!”
You shake your head desperately, “No, no, no! I didn’t sleep with him! That’s not what he said!” You take a deep breath, stopping yourself from raising your own voice out of desperation to get her to understand. Instead, you speak slowly: “Wanda, I did not sleep with Curtis. Yes, he did try it on with me ages ago but nothing happened.”
“You’re the biggest bitch in the world, Y/N! I can’t believe you slept with him!” Wanda sputters, tears welling in her drunken eyes. It’s like her brain has only selectively heard what he’d said and is running with it, and she’s unable to compute what you’re saying to her now. “I knew you weren’t above sleeping with other people’s boyfriends but I never thought you’d do it to me!”
“No, please, just listen! You’re not understanding–”
“Let go of me!” She bats your hands off her when you try to grab her again, backing away and stumbling out into the main banquet hall. “Don’t even speak to me again, Y/N! How dare you sleep with Curtis?! When you knew how much me and him meant to each other!”
Helplessly, you watch her as she marches across the banquet hall, and you trail behind her with a lump in your throat. You’d have to wait until she was sober to explain things to her properly, which was another conversation you weren’t looking forward to. But for now, you just watch her, hoping she doesn’t injure herself with how determinedly she’s walking. You expect her to head towards Curtis’ table, which is why you freeze when she walks straight past him and up towards the stage.
The retired basketball coach is just about done with his speech, and you nervously rejoin Sharon who is also looking at Wanda climbing up the stairs of the stage with a confused look on her face.
“We need to go get her,” you murmur.
“Why, hello young lady,” the retired basketball coach greets Wanda warmly, “Are you here to present the first award?”
Both you and Sharon spot Wanda eyeing the microphone with a gleam in her eye, and the two of you stand up in unison, exchanging alarmed looks.
But Wanda is quick, bumping the retired coach out of the way with her hip. She grabs the mic, tapping it quickly many times in succession. A high-pitched feedback echoes across the room, and more eyes turn towards her from all the other tables in the hall. The retired coach gives her a confused smile before shrugging and slowly hobbling away. A number of stagehands look on in confusion, checking their clipboards to see if this was part of the show.
And that’s when Wanda starts talking.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an award of my own!” She grips on to the mic like a vice, teetering on the middle of the stage. Her hair’s messy, her face stained with dried up tears. The straps of her dress slipping down her shoulders, and the half empty wine glass still in her hand, the remaining contents of it sloshing out onto the polished wooden floor.
“What the hell is she doing?” Sharon whispers from beside you. All around you, everyone in the banquet hall is whispering amongst themselves, and now all eyes are glued to your drunken best friend on stage. The tables full of professors, coaches and alumni all look around in bewilderment, frowning as if Wanda being on stage is all part of some kind of skit before the award ceremony.
You glance over at the jocks on table 2. Ari shoots you a perplexed look, Ransom’s got his phone camera out, Andy’s grinning from ear to ear. Colin has the decency to look away, an embarrassed look on his face. And Curtis? Curtis leans back on his chair, an amused look on his face as if he’s ready to kick back and enjoy the show.
That means it’s all up to you.
“Wanda!” You hiss, glad that your table is close enough to the stage that she can hear you, “Wanda, you’re drunk. C’mon, let’s go to the bathroom so I can fix you up.”
She looks down at you and smirks evilly, before looking away as if she hasn’t even heard you. Instead, she once more taps the mic once, twice, three times. She giggles drunkenly, “Testing, testing, is this thing on?”
“Wanda, babe, come down please!” Sharon joins in, but she also gets promptly ignored. She bites her lip before turning to you, “God, how did we not realise how drunk she’d gotten? She’s gonna make a fool of herself.”
“Wanda!” You try again, raising your voice slightly, “Come down, Wanda, please! The awards ceremony is about to begin!”
“It’s already begun! And like I said, I have an award of my own,” Wanda says, looking beyond you but never fully at you. You can see her lip curled slightly, and either it’s a smile or a sneer – you can’t really tell. But it makes your blood run cold, and a strong sense of foreboding washes over you again, like how it had earlier in your bedroom.
Quickly, you make your way over to the stage, hoping to pull her off before she said anything to embarrass herself too much. And it’s when you’re climbing up the stairs at the side of the stage that she resumes speaking:
“I know you’re all here for some… some random basketball award,” Wanda slurs, “But I wanna get my award out of the way first. And it’s the award for St. Andrews’ college’s biggest fucking slut.”
You’re halfway up the stage by now, and it’s when you step up on to the polished wooden floor that you pause, her words sinking in and a horrific feeling dawning on you. Oh no…
“And look! Here she is, the slut herself!” Wanda cheers, pointing straight at you with an unsteady hand. She throws her head back and laughs, her other hand gripping on to the mic for dear life. “Everybody, please give it up for Y/N! She already knows she’s the winner, nobody else could ever compare! Y/N is undoubtedly the biggest fucking slut on campus, and she wholeheartedly deserves this fucking award!”
Pin drop silence. For the first second, that’s all you hear. Silence that’s so loud, it’s almost deafening. Ringing in your ears, closing in on you like a siren. Then, you feel the waves of heat. Red hot fire radiating all over your body. Your face, your arms, your neck. Everywhere. You can’t quite believe what’s happening, but you know there’s a banquet hall filled with strangers staring straight at you as if you’re swathed in a spotlight.
“Curtis, get your girl the fuck off the stage!” You hear Ari say somewhere in the distance, and you can see him getting to his feet.
“No fucking way, that bitch isn’t my problem anymore.” Curtis whispers back, a note of glee in his tone.
You remain frozen on stage, your heart thrumming up to your throat. Wanda cackles, drunkenly beckoning you closer. Someone – either a professor or a coach – tries to coax her off the stage but she bats him away as if he’s an insignificant fly.
“C’mon, Y/N! Don’t be shy, come accept your award!” Wanda holds up her now empty wine glass as if it’s a trophy, “Ladies and gentlemen, don’t be mistaken! Y/N isn’t normally this shy! I mean, she certainly wasn’t when she fucked my boyfriend!”
A hushed gasp fills the hall, followed by a host of whispers. There’s a tiny voice inside you, telling you to run. Just run, run, run away from it all. But your feet don’t move, firmly planted in place as your whole body buzzes with heat and the lump in your throat gets bigger and bigger. Why was Wanda doing this? Oh God, what was happening!?
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Ari scrape his chair back and stride over to the stage, a venomous look on his face. At the same time, you feel a warm hand on your shoulder as Sharon comes up the steps to stand beside you.
“Wanda, honey, that’s enough.” Sharon says softly, holding her other hand out to your drunken friend. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
“Don’t you honey me,” Wanda spits out, “And don’t look at me as if I’m some sort of fool. If anyone’s a fool, it’s you, Sharon!”
Oh no. You feel yourself going light-headed.
That’s when Ari jumps up on stage, looking huge and menacing as he strides over to Wanda. He grabs her by the upper arm roughly, “Carla, shut the fuck up right now if you know what’s good for you,” He hisses.
“Well look who it is! Mister Knight in Shining Armour, here to save the fucking day!” Wanda laughs, and at least she’s not speaking into the mic anymore, but did it even matter? “Y/N doesn’t need your help, Ari! She’s a fucking slut who enjoys sleeping with other people’s boyfriends, and she’s proud of it! You’re proud of it, aren’t you, Y/N!?”
You’re in no condition to answer her question. Now, your body seems to be experiencing rapid hot and cold flushes. Icicles, then fire, then icicles, then fire again. And your face feels like it’s been stabbed by a thousand pins and needles. It’s a sensation you’ve never felt before, almost like an out of body experience. Like you’re floating except it feels terrible instead of liberating, and there’s absolutely no way for you to escape the impending doom.
Someone’s directed the live band to start playing again, and the room fills with music to combat the earth-shattering silence. But you know everyone’s eyes are still on the spectacle that’s taking place on stage. Everyone’s looking at you. And it’s like all your insecurities from the past month had come back in full force. Except so much worse, because now everyone thinks you’re a slut.
To your horror, Wanda goes to speak into the mic again. But Ari quickly snatches it out of her hands, throwing it aside and shooting her a glare, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”
“Okay, Wanda, you’ve made your point,” Sharon interjects gently. “I don’t know why you’d spread all these lies about your own best friend who’s been nothing but good to you, but it’s done now. Let’s just go.” Again, she reaches for Wanda’s hand, only for the latter to shoot her a sneer.
“Stop acting so holier-than-thou, Sharon. You’re not worth shit anymore, not since you got dumped,” Wanda laughs, suddenly aware of who exactly is on stage with her. She glances from you to Ari to Sharon, a look of evil glee spreading across her drunken features. “Why don’t you ask Ari again why he dumped you? Or better yet, why don’t you ask your new best friend Y/N?”
The band’s now playing an upbeat song, the lead singer urging everyone to get up on the dance floor in a bid to distract them. A few people do, but most stay planted in their seats, their focus still on the stage. Not that any of that even matters, not when Wanda’s words hit you like a ton of bricks. Out of your peripheral, you sense Sharon inhale sharply from next to you, and a deep feeling of dread starts spreading across your chest.
“Curtis, get the fuck up here and deal with her,” Ari seethes through gritted teeth. Curtis rolls his eyes, slowly making his way up to the stage like a panther going on a leisurely stroll.
“She sleeps with everyone’s boyfriend!” Wanda explodes, pointing another accusatory finger at you. “She doesn’t care about ruining relationships, all Y/N cares about is herself, Sharon! That’s why she’s been sleeping with Ari for months behind your back! And I kept her secret because I was being a good friend to her! Little did I know she fucked my boyfriend too!”
“That’s it, you’re fucking done,” Ari yanks Wanda off the stage, roughly pushing her down the steps all while keeping an iron grip on her forearm.
Thankfully, and yet a little too late, a stage hand drops the curtains. Dramatically, they fall down, shielding you from the stare and gossip of the audience. But you don’t feel any better. No, all you feel is pure, frozen shock. And the chaotic pantomime continues, even with the stage curtains now drawn.
“She’s been fucking Ari this whole time! She even fucked him out in the open at that frat party. In front of everyone, because that’s the type of slut she is!” Wanda cries out, stumbling over her words that act like bullets directed straight for Sharon. And, of course, you. “And she fucked Curtis too that night! Like the biggest fucking whore in the whole world! It’s true ‘cause he just told me! And God knows what she did with Steve, she probably let him smash too! As if slutting around on one campus wasn’t enough, she had to target a guy from a different college, and–”
She’s cut off by Ari plastering his huge hand over her mouth, all while she struggles and fights against him. He continues dragging her down the steps before throwing her into Curtis’ arms. Immediately, Wanda pacifies, grabbing on to Curtis for dear life while the buzzcut-haired man holds her gingerly.
“Get her out of here. I don’t care where the fuck you take her, I just want her gone.” Ari orders, narrowing his eyes when Curtis opens his mouth, “Don’t fucking argue with me, Everett. Go.”
Curtis rolls his eyes again, cautiously taking hold of Wanda who shuts up momentarily when she notices who’s holding her. She looks up at him with shining drunken eyes. “Curtis! You came back for me! Oh, I forgive you for fucking Y/N! I know she’s a huge slut and she probably seduced you! It wasn’t your fault at all, baby, I know that! Please let me be your girlfriend again, Curtis, please, I’ll do anything–”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Curtis grunts as he drags Wanda towards the exit. Thankfully, she’s docile enough in his arms, and easily goes with him.
Leaving carnage in her wake.
They all think I’m a slut, you think it again, still frozen in place. And I am! I am, I am, I am! I’m a backstabbing slut and this is what I deserve. Total public humiliation.
You pull yourself out of whatever catatonic state your body wants to shut you down into. The stage curtains are drawn and you’re protected from all the stares of the guests, and yet you feel like you can still hear the buzz of their whispers. The gossip formulating, your name on the tips of all their tongues. Spoken with disdain and disgust. Oh, you want nothing more than to just shut down and disappear. But you can’t. You can’t shut down yet, not yet. Instead, you force yourself to face Sharon head on, and come clean about what you should’ve come clean about ages ago.
“Sharon, please, just let me expl–”
“It’s not true, is it?” Sharon says slowly. Her cheeks look red, her eyes stricken, as if Wanda’s drunken bombshell has reached out and slapped her across the face. Her mouth downturned as if she’s about to cry, and yet she’s using every fibre of her being to hold herself together.
Ari chooses that moment to come up next to you, instinctively putting his hand on your shoulder. And Sharon looks from him to you back to him again. And then her face falls, and it’s like it’s all happening in slow motion and you’ve got a front row seat to someone’s heart being broken in real-time. Her face crumples as realisation dawns on her, and a whimpering sound leaves her mouth.
“It is true…” She breathes.
“I am so, so sorry,” You begin, not even knowing how to start. You feel numb and disorientated, like Wanda’s screaming expose has hit you like a freight train you may never recover from. And yet you know not to be selfish enough to make it all about you in this moment, not when Sharon looks so betrayed right in front of you. And yet a tear rolls down your cheek as you look at her, “Sharon, please understand how sorry I am. I know I should’ve told you before, there’s literally no excuse–”
“You’re right, there isn’t.” She cuts you off coldly, but the iciness doesn’t reach her eyes which shine with a mix of tears and betrayal. “How could you? You were supposed to be my friend. Th-This whole time I thought you were my friend…”
“Hey, leave her alone,” Ari interjects, positioning himself in front of you protectively. “If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me. She’s already been through enough tonight.”
“DON’T YOU DARE DEFEND HER, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT!” Sharon bursts out in a blaze of fury, “For once in your life, show me a little bit of respect and don’t fucking defend the girl you cheated on me with right to my face! I was your girlfriend once upon a time, Ari. And you act like it meant nothing.”
Her voice breaks at the end, and she fiercely wipes away her tears. It smears up her makeup too, but she looks like she’s past the point of caring.
“All I’m saying is to leave Y/N out of this, Sharon. Whatever happened between me and her wasn’t her fault at all. You and I can discuss this privately.” Ari says, his tone hard and serious. He’s standing tall, as if being exposed for your joint betrayal has him completely unfazed. You, on the other hand, feel like you’re about two feet tall.
Sharon looks at Ari incredulously, before her eyes shift back to you as if she can’t help it. “I trusted you, Y/N.” She says brokenly, “I..I liked you. I liked you so much. You have no idea how much I…” Her voice trails off for a second before it hardens: “…and this whole time you were going behind my back.”
You swallow harshly, “I’m so sorry. Please, I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. But just believe me when I tell you that I’m so, so genuinely sorry. Wh-When me and Ari started… I didn’t even know you back then and I know that doesn’t excuse it–”
“IT DOESN’T EXCUSE IT!” Sharon screams, and beyond her shoulder you can see a few people peeping through the curtains as if to continue watching the show. “It doesn’t excuse it at all, Y/N! You had so many chances where you could’ve come clean to me, but you chose to lie to my fucking face.” She laughs bitterly, as if she can’t believe all this is actually happening. “Oh God, how stupid could I have been? All those times when I was crying to you about my breakup, or when I was trying to help you get through your boy troubles… All that time you were sleeping with Ari and I never suspected a damn thing?! Oh, you must’ve been laughing your ass off behind my back!”
You scramble to explain yourself, you want to say more, but it’s like your throat’s closing up now. Like you’re experiencing some type of allergic reaction. Your skin feels like it’s crawling, like your self-disgust has just boiled over the edge and you’re covered in the shame and guilt that’s been festering inside you. Except it’s now also mixed with the sheer humiliation from everything you’ve just experienced. What could you possibly say to explain yourself? She was right. She was one thousand percent right.
They were all right about you, the voice in your head cackles. Steve and Wanda and probably everyone else who’s thinking it right now. You’re a slut.
“Leave her the fuck alone, Sharon.” Ari threatens lowly, dropping his hand from your shoulder and taking a menacing step towards the blonde. “I mean it. Not another word.”
Sharon tilts her head, and you find her looking at you. Really looking at you. As if she’s searching the plains of your face to detect the level of your honesty. And you want to look away, want to look down because of how humiliated you are. But you look back at her meekly, feeling like a fucking backstabbing rat. Oh God, why had you not just come clean to her weeks ago when the two of you had first started becoming friends? Were you truly that spineless? Were you really that much of a coward?
“Get out.” Sharon says coldly, the hurt on her face now replaced with an impenetrable mask of stone-cold indifference. “Get out of here, Y/N. I don’t want to look at you. I thought we were friends but it’s like I don’t even know you. And I never knew you. So just get out of here. GET OUT!”
Her venomous words make you jump. Your lower lip quivers, and you feel like the dirt at the bottom of everyone’s shoe. Ari turns around, tries to grab your hand but you back away quickly. Your heel catches on something and you stumble. Regaining your balance, you see Ari coming towards you, and Sharon staring you down from behind him. The pity and concern in his eyes, the pure betrayal in hers. Oh, you don’t want any of it! You just wish you’d disappear!
You take off into a run, your heels clacking on the wooden floor noisily but you don’t care. You do exactly what Sharon’s told you to do – you run. Gathering up your dress so it doesn’t get caught in your shoes. Oh, and who cares if it did? Who cares at all? Certainly not you.
You run out into the full banquet hall, trying not to meet anyone’s gaze. Trying to block out what they’re whispering. You know they’re talking about you; you know they’re looking at you as if you’re the biggest backstabbing whore in the whole world. Which you are. Oh, how spectacularly everything had fallen apart!
Somewhere behind you, you can hear Ari calling out your name. But you don’t stop, don’t look back. Not this time. You weave through the crowd, your tears blurring your vision but you don’t dare stop. Out into the hotel lobby, down the marble steps adorned in grand red carpeting with gold tassels. Feeling like a warped Cinderella who wasn’t the helpless princess after all, but instead the backstabbing villain. Out the front entrance, and the doorman stares at you but you don’t care, and the outside cold hits you like a ton of bricks.
As if on cue, the wind roars loudly, slapping you in the face with all its might and fury. And you remember earlier tonight, when you’d wondered whether the winds had been trying to warn you about something. Oh, your intuition had been right! Why hadn’t you just stayed at home?! Now, the wind swirls around you threateningly, and you just stand there in the bitter cold, as if daring it to attack you. All around you, the grass rustles, the trees cower, the very ground seems to shake as gust after gust hits at you, and your hair comes loose, and you’re about to start crying in earnest, and–
“Y/N, wait! Stop!” Ari grabs your hand, his familiar warmth shooting through your entire body. He pulls you into his arms, embracing you fiercely. Your burst into ferocious tears that you hadn’t realised you’d been holding in. Loud, wracking sobs muffled by his strong chest as he holds you close. “I’m so sorry that happened, baby. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I did!” You cry, another gust of wind hitting you like a wake-up call, and you push off of him with tears streaming down your face. “I did deserve it, Ari! I deserved all of it!”
There’s an invisible whirlpool around the two of you. Maybe you’re imagining it in your delirium, but it’s like a swirling of energy, entrapping the two of you together on this stormy night. The wind howls around you both, ringing in your ears as if to warn you again, telling you this is all wrong, wrong, wrong!
And Ari looks at you like his whole heart’s in his eyes, and they glisten with emotion that you’ve never seen in him before. And he holds you close, and cups your face. He wipes your tears as if to soothe you, but how could you soothe someone who was so beyond repair that perhaps repair wasn’t even an option anymore? How!?
“Let me take you home,” he whispers, “I don’t want you to be alone tonight. Please, let’s just go. And I swear I’ll deal with everything; I’ll deal with all of them. I’ll make them pay for hurting you. Just please, stop crying and come with me.”
“No!” You snatch your hand out of his and step back, shaking your head fiercely. “Don’t you get it, Ari? We’re not right together and we never will be!”
“That’s not true–”
“Yes, it is!” You sob freely, “How many people do we have to hurt for it to sink in that we just don’t work?” Ferociously, you wipe at your tears, not that it matters when new one’s flow down your cheeks freely, “All we ever do is fight, Ari! We just run around in circles and fight and hurt each other and hurt everyone around us! And now I know it’s ‘cause we just don’t work, and we never will!”
“No.” Ari says firmly, “I’m the one who hurt people, okay? Not us. Just me. And you got caught in the crossfire and I’m fucking sorry.”
You shake your head, “It doesn’t matter anymore. None of it matters, Ari. They all think I’m a slut and they’re all right! And I’ll never live this down and I don’t deserve to live it down! So just leave me alone, okay? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“NO!” Ari roars, louder than the wind itself, and louder than you too. “No, I’m not fucking leaving you alone! I told you that I care about you, and I’m never gonna leave you alone. So just… just come on. Let me take you home, baby. I’ll make it better, I promise.”
The blustering winds form an impenetrable current around the two of you, whistling and swirling with rogue leaves like a tornado that you seem to be trapped in with him. And in an ironic way, it perfectly encapsulates your relationship with him: a whirlwind. A tornado. A constant uphill battle filled with fights and arguments, always one step forward and then two steps back. Maybe it was time to just give up, to come to terms with how it just didn’t work between you and him.
You sniffle weakly, “Nothing can make this better. Whatever there was between us, it was never going to work. Not when it started out as a lie.”
Tenderly, yet charged with an electric emotion you can’t quite pinpoint, he cups your face again. Your freezing wet cheeks welcome the warmth they bring, despite everything.
“I’ll make it better,” Ari repeats, softer this time. He presses his forehead against yours. “You mean more to me than Sharon or anyone else ever did. And I know our relationship started out wrong because I lied to you. Constantly. I know that. But I promise you I’ll make it all better and you’ll never hurt again how you’re hurting now.”
You feel like you’re at a crossroads. You’ve gone through more emotional turmoil in these past few weeks than you have in any other point of your life. And each time, you’ve fallen back into Ari’s arms in a heap of tears. So, what about this time? Would you do the same thing again? Another circle? Another fight? Another heartbreak?
“I’m in love with you.” Ari breathes. And in that moment, even the winds stand still. And his eyes look like twin oceans with stars scattered inside them. And those stars in his eyes, those stars get bigger and bigger till they’re all you can see. And you can’t hear anything anymore, except for his breathing and yours. And you can feel only one thing, and that’s his hands cupping your cheeks as he gazes at you with a look of desperation mixed with something else. Something passionate. And honest. “I’m in love with you, okay? I’ve never been in love before but I’m pretty positive that I love you, and I promise I’ll protect you from ever being hurt again.”
In the distance, beyond his shoulder, a branch from a tree falls to the ground. As if unable to stand the wrath of the wind on this night. It crashes down, all the way down till it’s no longer a part of what it had once always known. You focus on it for a split second, before some kind of magnetic pull makes you look back to Ari.
“Why does it always take some sort of traumatic event for you to say these things?” You whisper, letting his words bounce off you. Not letting them permeate into your heart and set camp, not allowing them to let you hope. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted to hear from him!?
“I’ve felt this way for a while,” he says earnestly, “I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But I told you, I’m ready now. For everything. I love you, and I want everyone to know it.” He draws you closer, cradling your face in his warm hands. How are they so warm on such a cold night? How was he so warm when you felt so cold, cold, cold?! So freezing cold from the inside out?
I love you. I’m in love with you. I promise I’ll protect you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Oh, his words were finding their way into your heart! You take a timid step closer, allow yourself to look into his eyes. Everything was crashing and burning around you. Your life was ruined, and so was your reputation. Everyone thought you were a slut and you had no friends left at all. But Ari was here. Solid. Real. Right in front of you. Saying all the right things on a night that had gone so horrifically wrong. Should you allow yourself this? Did you deserve it? Did he?
His lips have barely brushed against yours when you hear a loud shatter right next to you.
“You told me you weren’t going to be with him tonight.”
Steve. Standing less than a foot away from you. A glass bottle lying broken by his feet, the smell of vodka strongly emanating from him. His hair falls over his forehead, swaying gently in the roaring wind. His eyes black, blown out, barely there. Hooded, like he’s sad. Betrayed. Oh, how did he even get here!?
Your jaw drops open, “Steve, I–”
“How fucking dare you show your face in front of her after everything you put her through?” Ari growls, pushing you behind him before squaring up to Steve. “Get the fuck out of here, Rogers. Before I break your neck.”
You swallow harshly, “Ari, don’t…”
Steve sidesteps Ari, and those sad eyes look straight at you. Penetrating down straight to your soul.
“You kissed me earlier tonight, but now you’re choosing him.”
He says it matter-of-factly, his words slurring slightly but still clear as day. You feel a pang in your heart. From your peripheral, you see Ari bristle at Steve’s words, clearly taken aback by what he’s just revealed.
You open your mouth, but it feels all dried up. Like you’re back in the middle of the stage with an audience of people watching you get exposed for your betrayal.
“You don’t have to answer him.” Ari says to you, quickly recovering and grabbing your hand protectively before turning back to sneer at Steve. “Get the hell out of here. Tonight isn’t the night for your bullshit.”
“He’ll only hurt you,” Steve says, ignoring Ari and looking directly at you. “I told you; all Ari ever does is hurt people.”
“Shut your fucking mouth, Steve, or else I’ll–”
“Or else you’ll what, Ari? I don’t give a fuck what you do.” Steve finally looks at the brunet, squaring up to him till they’re both face to face. Each as big as the other, each as menacing as the other. But that’s where the similarities end. Ari looks wary, on edge. And Steve? Steve looks like he has nothing left to lose.
“Oh yeah? Is that why you’ve been dodging me all these weeks?” Ari barks out a laugh, but it sounds hollow, almost forced. And his eyes keep darting between Steve and back to you. “I’m telling you for the last time, Rogers. Walk away so she doesn’t have to see me kill you.”
“Stop acting like some kind of fucking hero, Ari. You of all people should know that’s not what you are.” Steve fires back, “You’ll hurt her, just like you hurt–”
“My car’s parked around the corner. You know what it looks like. Go, I don’t want you to see this.” Ari says to you, his hand dropping yours as he keeps his eyes on the blonde in front of him. You watch as his fists clench by his sides.
There’s a pause before Steve laughs. And just like Ari’s from earlier, Steve’s laugh sounds hollow too. Like neither of them are enjoying this confrontation. And neither are you, and yet your feet remain planted to the ground. The winds are still howling around you, encasing the three of you in a whirlpool. And within it, you sense the strongest feeling of foreboding you’ve felt yet.
“You still haven’t told her, have you?” Steve accuses.
A dark, anxious feeling pools inside your chest, twisting your veins, reaching straight for your heart. More secrets? “Tell me what, Ari?”
“Go to my car, I’m serious.”
“I heard your little speech from just now. I heard all your promises. How you’ll never hurt her again,” Steve shoves Ari. And it’s a drunken shove, but a hard one. “How you’ll protect her,” another shove, “How you’re in love with her.”
“Shut the fuck up, Steve. You have no idea what you’re–”
“Tell me, is that what you told my sister too?”
Everything stops. Even the wind, with how fierce and mighty it had been all night, comes to a screeching halt. It’s like the grass stops rustling, the trees stop swaying. You think your heart has stopped too. Steve’s sister? Kira? Ari knew her? The dark, anxious feeling doubles up, multiplies in a millisecond. You feel like your insides have turned to tar, and your blood freezes in the worst way possible.
“Wh-What’s he talking about, Ari?” Your question comes out soft, timid. As if you’re afraid of the answer.
Ari’s head whips around, and his cheeks are flushed. His jaw tensed, his eyes wild. Quickly, he shakes his head, “He doesn’t know what he’s saying, okay? Clearly, he’s drunk, and high off of something, and he doesn’t know what he’s saying–”
“WHAT THE FUCK DID KIRA EVER DO TO YOU, ARI?!” Steve erupts, making you jump. Ari flinches too, but Steve closes in on him, his dark eyes blazing. “What did she ever do to you? Except trust you?” He laughs bitterly, “Maybe that was her mistake. Trusting someone like you.” And then he looks straight at you, “Don’t make the same mistake, Y/N. He’ll run you out of this place just like he did my sister.”
Your lower lip quivers, “What do you mean?”
Ari grabs your hand and pulls you back, “Let’s just go. He doesn’t know what he means. He has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.”
Like it’s a hot poker, you pull your hand out of his grip, staring up at him incredulously.
“I have no fucking clue, huh? As if I haven’t been in the same house as her, watching her lock herself up in her room and cry for the past fucking year!” Steve says, and this time he squares up to Ari again, grabbing the brunet’s collar to make him look at him. “As if I haven’t watched her become a fucking shell of her former self, as if I haven’t watched her lose her smile, lose her personality, lose her fucking will to interact with anyone. All because of you!”
Now it’s Ari’s turn to shove Steve, and he does it with full force. Steve stumbles backwards, and Ari looks at him in fury. And yet he doesn’t say anything, nothing at all. And the sticky black tar coats your heart and starts seeping into your lungs, making it hard for you to breathe. Making it hard for you to make sense of what’s going on. Oh god, what exactly was Steve saying?! And why wasn’t Ari denying anything?!
“You can’t even deny it anymore, can you?” Steve spits out, “And now you’re out here actin’ like a fuckin’ superhero, promising Y/N the entire world. Well, why don’t you answer my question, Levinson? Is that what you promised Kira too? Is that what you fucking promised her before you spread those pictures of her to every fucking person you know?”
That’s when you feel like the wind’s been knocked out of you. You feel faint, dizzy. Like you’re no longer real. Ari turns to look at you, and you can’t even begin to decipher his expression but it’s like you no longer want to look at him. Pictures? Like nudes? Ari? Spreading private pictures of Kira around campus??? You shake your head, willing him to say something, to deny it all vehemently.
“She’s my sister,” Steve’s voice breaks, an outpouring of emotion that you’ve never ever seen from him. His face red, his fists clenched but not in anger, more so in desperate sadness. “She’s my sister and you were my friend and you fucking broke her, Ari. She couldn’t handle it, everyone talking about her, laughing at her. You ran her out of school, and you broke her. And now you’re gonna do the same thing to Y/N too.”
Ari swallows, looking stricken how you’ve never seen him look before. He sucks in his breath, and when he speaks, it sounds like it’s a stranger talking: “Don’t even act like you have Y/N’s best interests at heart, after what you did to her. And you have no idea what you’re sayi–”
“This is who he is!” Steve erupts again, this time looking straight at you, “My sister was so fucking trusting, she did whatever he asked her to. She sent him pictures that were supposed to be private, all ‘cause he told her to. She never should’ve trusted an asshole like him but she did, she trusted him with everything she had, and now look at her.” He shakes his head, his entire body shaking from either anger or grief or both. “And Kira, she was so broken over it, she told me never to mention it again to anyone, she made me promise not to. But you need to know who he really is. He’s a fucking asshole who’ll hurt anyone! He hurt Kira, he hurt Sharon, and he’ll hurt you too.”
“Let’s go,” Ari says to you, gathering himself and grabbing your hand, “Let’s just go and I’ll explain everything.”
For the second time, you snatch your hand away from his and shake your head, your mind racing and you think you’re going to be sick. Oh God, how many more times would Ari lie to you? “Don’t touch me.”
“Baby, I said I’d explain–”
“You knew Steve’s sister this whole time?”
“Yes, but–”
“Wh-Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you mention it even once?” Your voice sounds high, like you’re about to start crying from shock. And betrayal. You suck in your breath. He’d been hiding this from you, so what else was he hiding?
He tries to grab your hand again, but you take a step back in disbelief.
“Don’t you dare touch me. Y-You’re a liar! You lied again. You told me you wouldn’t lie to me but you lied again!” Oh, you feel like you don’t even know him anymore! Did you ever truly know him to begin with? You think back to Kira, so anxious that she couldn’t even look you in the eye. Had Ari really hurt her so badly? Spread around nude pictures of her and ruined her life and then continued on with his own as if none of it had even happened? “H-How could you do that to her? How could you–”
Ari opens his mouth to speak, but that’s when Steve tackles him. You scream, caught off-guard as the two behemoths fall to the ground. The wind resumes its wicked gusts, and this time it’s like it’s taunting you. Taunting you for forcing yourself time and time again to live in this fairytale utopia where Ari and you could ever possibly work. Each slap of cold air on your face reminding you that nothing, nothing in the whole world, could ever make the two of you work.
And maybe it was written in the stars, maybe this fight was bound to happen between the two of them. And yet you can’t make sense of it, watching with stricken horror as Steve grabs Ari’s collar again.
“You sick, twisted bastard! Fuck you for ruining my sister!” Steve punches him, but Ari quickly dodges it. And Steve’s movements are slower, sluggish. You feel sick thinking of how much he’s had to drink tonight. He was already drunk hours ago when he’d showed up at your dorm room, but now? Now he looks doubly wasted, teetering on the verge of no return and completely past the point of even caring about it.
Steve’s fuelled by alcohol and a tragic rage. No, rage was the wrong word, because the anger he was exhibiting now was nothing like when he’d punched the wall or when he’d lost his cool at basketball practice. Now, it felt different. Like he was charged by his own sadness, and an underlying sense of resignation. Like a part of him didn’t care what would happen to him by the end of tonight. Like he was getting all his punches in before he… before he…
“Stop!” You finally find your voice and yell out, but it doesn’t carry, your words getting lost in the wind. Ari shoves Steve off of him, dragging both of them to their feet. Steve throws another punch, and Ari dodges it just in time so instead of his fist connecting with his jaw, it slams painfully against his shoulder. But Ari doesn’t flinch.
“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about!” Ari snarls, drawing his fist back to punch back. That’s when you throw all caution to the wind and run forward, coming between them.
“Don’t, Ari! He’s drunk, and he took all this medication, and…” your voice trails off, but the worry is evident in your tone as the realisation hits you. His medication for his mood swings. How much of it had he taken? Ari pauses, still glaring daggers at Steve, who looks back at him just as venomously.
“HIT ME, LEVINSON! DO IT, JUST HIT ME!” Steve shouts, louder than the wind itself. “It’s not like I’ve got shit to lose, so go right ahead! I’ve said what I had to say and now I’m fucking done.” His face twists, veins popping in his forehead, his blonde locks brushing over his wild eyes as they rest on you. His gaze softens somewhat, like a drunken, tragic hero. “I’m done, Y/N. It’s okay, I’m done. And I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for scaring you. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
Why was he talking like that? You have no time to contemplate his words, however. Because Ari steps forward in front of you, his fist clenched to his side. And you’ve never seen him look this angry, and once more he draws his fist back, and you try to find your voice to stop him but nothing comes out. And the wind hits its crescendo, and there’s a clap of thunder serving as an exclamation point to this disastrous evening. Your entire body jerks, as if expecting something terrible to happen, and you close your eyes and you brace yourself…
A loud thud. You open your eyes, a scream getting caught in your throat when you see Steve on the ground. Motionless.
“Ari, what did you do!?” You cry.
Ari turns to you, breathing hard and yet he’s got a confused look on his face. His fist is still clenched but he shakes his head in shock.
“Nothing. I swear I didn’t do anything, he just… He just collapsed.”
You run over, crouch down next to Steve, trying to survey any damage. Sure enough, his face looks pristine, apart from a bluish-purple hue to his pale skin that you hadn’t noticed before. No signs of having been punched, however. But it’s his eyes that catch your attention, stricken and looking straight up. Almost like he’s unresponsive, when just a second ago he’d been on his feet and just fine.
“Oh god, oh my god. Steve!?” Your voice goes high with panic. With trembling hands, and quick, flurrying movements, you shake his shoulders. But all that does is make his head loll back, and he’s still staring up at the sky with a glassy look on his face, not reacting to you at all. Almost like he’s on another planet. Trying to keep your panic at bay, you quickly try and feel for his pulse, and that’s when you really start to lose it.
“Oh my god, Ari, he-he doesn’t have a pulse! I can’t find his pulse, I c-can’t– ARI, DO SOMETHING!”
Ari, who up until this moment seemed to be frozen in shock, staring at his still clenched fist as he stood over the two of you, seems to finally snap out of it. He springs into action, pushing you aside and crouching down next to the blond. He grabs his wrist while you look on, horrified beyond belief over what exactly was happening in front of your eyes.
He knew that mixing alcohol with his medication was dangerous, you think to yourself, another bout of sick realisation dawning on you. He’s pre-med, he’s studying to be a doctor. Of course, he knew! Had he… had he meant to do this? Oh God…
“He’s got a pulse,” Ari mutters, “He’s got one but it’s weak.”
Tears gather in your eyes as your head starts to spin, “H-He was on this medication, he told me earlier F-For his mood swings or something. And he was drinking too, and he probably took his pills and he drank and, oh God, I should’ve done something! I didn’t think it was that bad, I didn’t–”
“We need to call 911.” Ari says firmly, and you’re relieved that at least one of you is keeping their wits about them. You don’t know whether Ari’s just good under pressure or whether he’s in genuine shock too, judging by the frozen look on his face. Nevertheless, you watch him as he stands up, getting his phone out of his pocket and dialling the number.
And, almost like in cruel irony, the howling winds that had been swirling around you have now gone silent. Deathly silent. It’s like the three of you are in a vacuum, and yet you can barely even hear Ari talking on the phone. All you can hear is your fucking heart in your chest, and the racing of your own thoughts: this is my fault, this is my fault, this is my fault…
“Come on, Steve!” You urge, grabbing his hand and almost recoiling because of how limp and cold it feels. He’d been so warm when you’d kissed him hours earlier, so warm and soft. And it seems like lightyears ago, that kiss followed by the breathless silence. How you’d noted how he looked like he was one sip away from disaster. Oh, why hadn’t you done more? You could have sobered him up, but you’d been so wrapped up in your own problems. And now?
“P-Please, don’t do this. Just wake up. Or say something, just please!” And you don’t know why you’re having such a reaction – wasn’t it you who’d told Steve hours ago how you and him barely even knew each other? How there was nothing between the two of you? How he’d ruined all of that? Then why, why, why was your heart burning up right now? Like a ball of fire deep in your chest, waiting to explode. You tap his cheek desperately, noting the blueish tone of his lips, wondering why you hadn’t noticed that earlier. Beating yourself up over it.
“They’re coming,” you hear Ari say behind you, “An ambulance is on its way. It’s gonna be okay.”
But you don’t even hear him, too busy thinking back to when Steve had been in your dorm room earlier tonight. The sad look in his eyes as he’d turned to leave after your kiss. You can feel your tears soaking up your freezing cold cheeks now as you squeeze his hand.
“I forgive you, okay? I forgive you! Just wake up, please! Steve, just wake up! Didn’t you hear me? I forgive you!”
Your tears blur your vision, and his face becomes a pale blur. Fiercely, you wipe your eyes with your one free hand. And vaguely, you can feel Ari’s hand on your shoulder. And his is so warm. And Steve’s is so cold. Hot and cold. Cold and hot. You don’t even notice when you feel your own hand being squeezing lightly.
“That’s good,” Steve says faintly, his lips barely moving. You gasp and move closer, hoping you haven’t imagined it. His eyes flutter gently, like he doesn’t want to keep them open anymore. But his face looks relaxed, so relaxed that it’s scary, and it feels like you’re looking at a ghost. Those blue lips part once more. “Don’t worry about me. I’m comfortably numb, remember? I think I finally made it last…”
“No, no, no, no…” you scramble, watching as his eyes slip shut. You squeeze his hand again, shake at his shoulders, tap his cheek. Oh no, no, no, no. And all around you, the trees start swaying once more. The great gusts of wind continue, almost like they never even stopped, and another branch falls to the ground. The grass rustles beneath where Steve lies, and the moonlight shines on his face, making his pallor look a deathly kind of beautiful. Like an angel.
And it reminds you of the first night you’d met him. The night you’d dreamed of him. He’d looked like an angel in your dreams too.
The wind whistles with great might, and it sounds like a cackle. As if it’s mocking you. And Steve is still, and Ari’s still holding firmly on to you, and you can barely hear the blare of the siren as the ambulance slowly approaches.
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A/N: .....did Steve just.... OH MY GODDD. Well, if you made it this far then congratulations!!! I really hope y'all liked it. I'm so scared it didn't live up to expectations. I KNOW there was no smut but you guys I tried my best to see where I could fit it in... I just couldn't justify putting it in anywhere in the story and it actually making sense, pls understand! UGHHH I'm just so insecure about this chapter, but if you liked it PLESE PLEASE let me know what you think! Any thoughts, comments, feedback would genuinely be appreciated SO much like SO SO much omfg. Like any favourite parts etc? I really wanted to focus on romantic scenes between reader and the two guys and i hope i showed that! BUT YEAH PLS LMK WHAT YOU THINK ILY ILY.
Okay and as usual, here are some questions!! (y'all don't have to answer them, but just in case anyone does!!!)
Which romantic scene did you prefer? Steve coming up reader's window or Ari taking reader on a picnic? OR NEITHER???
What are your thoughts on Carla Wanda after this chapter??? LMFAOO.
Why was Sharon more upset with reader than with Ari? Hmm.....
Did Ari really spread Kira's nudes around :( ?? Or do you think there's more to the story?
TEAM ARI OR TEAM STEVE? ( if he's okay that is damn )
AND THAT'S IT! Hope y'all enjoyed it! I'm gonna stop yapping now bahahaha byeee ily ily ily
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salaciousdoll · 3 months
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· · · ℜ · · · Aren’t You What They Call a Milf · · · ℜ · · ·
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.·:*¨¨*:·. starring Ken R. , Manjirou S. , Baji K., Emma S., Hina H., Takemichi H., Chifuyu M., Kazutora H. , Hanma S. , Kisaki, Peh Y., Pah C., Izana K. , Mochi, Muto, Shion, Sanzu A. , Shinichiro S., Benkei A. , Takeomi A., Wakasa I., Mitsuya T., Hakkai S., Taiju S., Kakucho, Kokonoi, Inupi, South T. , The Haitani brothers x Milf! reader .·:*¨¨*:·.
ᰔᩚ ━━ Warnings: ᰔᩚ ━━ Warnings: Final Timeline! So spoilers, smut, threesome, reader is a switch here, foursomes, fivesomes, gang bang( consensual), Benkei and Mitsuya are end game here, OG black dragons is a little mean, dirty talking( heavy, degradation, praise, pet names, bodily fluids( squirting, cum, spitting, sloppy blow job,etc.), big exhibition here( fucking in a top down convertible, Mitsuya fashion shop, and etc.), yes I know inupi is not in Tenjiku besides they’re all friends here anyways just decided to group them by gangs to avoid writing for every single one of them, little plot here, AGE GAP, DARK CONTENT! voyeurism, missionary, doggy style, attempt at frog style( if that’s what it’s called), reader knows what she wants, breeding kink, reader is a undercover slut, chubby reader, oc kids named amethyst and saphhire( twin girls), pink obsessed reader/momma which means kids are drowned in pink everything, you are 37 years old here so have fun with that, wanted to write an older reader for a long time, nipple play, lactation kink, spitting kink, rough and slow sex, teasing, headcannons are not really headcannons because again I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with writing that shit, dilf( Draken ), reader and the husband was swingers once upon a time, cuckholding on Hina, Takemichi, and black dragon part, the oh black dragons are older than reader but that’s okay they weren’t even thought of until now. If I’m forgetting something lemme know.
ᰔᩚ ━━ Word Count: 14.5k
ᰔᩚ ━━ Dolly Note from Salaciousdoll: this is really a surprise drop because I thought I was going to post it Saturday tbh but said fuck it give y’all a gift early. I really hope you like it, it’s not the best but it’s something. Been wanting to feed my starving babies from the tr fandom for a minute so here you go. Also the reader is an older woman who’s just fucking everyone why? Because some people pissed me off by slut shaming but nevermind that, Love you guys 🎀
Minors do not interact, 18+
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Moms. The person everyone got or needed in their lives as the guidance they need. The carrier. The heart of the family because without a mom being the heart of the family, the family can’t pump blood and love. You were that mom. The mom that your mother was or weren’t, it all depends on yourself. You aimed to be better than your mother even if she was a good mother to you and you did with the two little girls you birthed and raised with your ex- husband. They were the joys in your life, such beautiful little humans to you and everyone around you all. After your divorce from your beautiful husband you still were on good terms with, you moved to another city. You were so glad that he agreed to have the kids a week after you because no matter if you got a divorce you didn’t want your babies to be affected heavily by it.
Your twin girls were the joy and light in your life. You were the pink mom every pink obsessed girl wanted. You always dress your babies in pink and don’t even get me started on the patterns you choose to dress your daughters in but don’t worry they both have a say-so if they don’t feel like wearing anything you pick for them to wear. Your mother didn’t give you that option, but you did with your little ones. From two year olds up until now, 9 years old.
The girls were so excited for today. Today was the day you were moving to another city as a result of starting your new job and new life away from your husband and his new girlfriend. You two have been divorced for years now and you were glad he moved on after sending letters and posting sticky notes on your Children’s backpacks or notebooks saying things like “ lunch today?” Or “ We could always try one last time” or your favorite one “ My sunshine and my little flowers”. It never ended with him until it stopped just five months ago when he met his girlfriend. His girlfriend was someone you called introverted and that’s just what he needs, a shy woman for his outgoing personality, plus she was an entire sweetheart and someone you gladly liked your kids to be around.
“ Mom, is this the house? It’s so big for us!”, sapphire said pointing to the house. It was indeed a beautiful, big house. From the opening gate with your last initial on it in pretty, cursive letters to the big, cilo pivot house-door, you knew you made the right choice for your babies.
“ Mommy mommy, I wanna go inside.”, Amethyst yells as she runs past the gate and towards the front door to open it.
“ Do not run, walk! Don’t want you to hurt yourself and then I’ll have to sit in the hospital while my baby get treated.”, You shouted after her, smiling when she actually listened and power walked into the house.
You really hope you three weren't disturbing the neighbors around and didn’t attract any eyes for now, you were dead wrong because Draken was bringing a box out of Mikey’s house and saw the huge moving truck down the street—just five spaces down from Mikey’s big ass house.
Mikey had boxes of Magazines Emma’s own since she was staying at his house while they were fighting. Draken loved Emma but their fights were stupid and frustrating sometimes, however, the fight they’re in is not. He stayed out all night with Mikey and Mitsuya partying because of the celebration of Mikey winning his championship game. Believe him, he wanted to leave around 12 am, but Mikey had other plans like having a race in a vacant parking lot. Nevertheless, he was glad she and his little boy and girl accepted his apology, they were even mad at him.
He stopped with the box in his hand with his mouth opened a bit in awe, you were a gorgeous woman, way too gorgeous and just right for him and Emma, especially Emma who was looking for another sex partner for both of them. You were taking a box out of the moving truck and you could hear your little girls in the house screaming and running around the empty house in excitement. You almost wanted to cry because you came a long way to get to this point right here. Bouncing from jobs to jobs after completing college and then getting an opportunity to become a fashion designer for your own company which has been skyrocketing since your first fashion show. All while going through departure and divorce from your first love, your ex-husband. Let’s not forget about your twin princesses who gave you the world every time they opened their eyes in the morning or whenever they wanna wake up since sapphire likes to sleep until 12 pm.
You didn’t realize you were standing at the back of the truck staring at the other boxes with your eyes wide and watering—you were dazed out until you heard a deep voice, “ Do you need any help? Couldn’t help but notice you moving in.”
You turned to the voice who interrupted your thoughts and smiled at him making his heart beat pick up, “ No, I wouldn’t want to bothe-”
He turned to pick up a box out of the truck, “ I offered and you’re saying you're bothering me, how rude of you.”
You studied his features and noticed he had a tattoo on the side of his hair, black silky hair was pinned up into a man-bun. His eyes were so onyx like but you were afraid if you would look longer at him, you’ll start trying to figure him out like you always do anybody you come across. It was annoying. You gasped once you just now noticed he called you rude, so you called out to him, “ Hey! I’m not rude, just didn’t wanna bother anyone okay? I’m new here, ya know.”
“ I could tell. No one as beautiful as you is around here. My name is Manjirou Sano, what’s yours?”, Another voice says from behind you. You whirled around to look down at a man who was just as beautiful as the other.
You were about to answer but the same man who helped you bring a box in spoke again, “ Mikey, I thought you were meeting up with your brothers?”
Your head went back and forth between the two as they spoke in Japanese in front of you now. You picked up some words like brother and annoying. It seems like the conversation was intense from the way the short one looked up at the taller one. They both held eye contact until they turned to you in the middle of them, the short one speaking again, “ Now that that’s out the way, what’s your name, pretty one?”
He took the box out of your hand smiling at you while you were finally answering him, “ { Reader’s name}, nice to meet you two and thank you so much for helping m-”
“ Mommmm, Amethyst isn’t giving me my tablet, she’s running around the house with it and I don’t want her to droppp itttt.”, Sapphire whined as she stomped out the house.
You looked at the two men with an apologetic look in your eyes and they waved you off, not bothered by your daughter acting like her age at all. You sighed and walked to her with a box in your hand, “ Where is she right now?”
Your daughter led you to Amethyst who was on top of the balcony smiling and laughing until she saw your stern face. She slowly put the tablet down and her smile sequenced with her tablet, both went down. You put down the box not noticing eyes on your full figured body. The body Draken has beat to when he was 19, it’s like all the milf videos he consumed has come to life as he analyzed the curves of your hips and the roundness of your ass. Your boobs were beautiful especially since it seems like they are still full of milk. He would know because Emma’s boobs looked similar to yours when she was pregnant with his child and that was 7 years ago in 2018. Now, Emma’s boobs were heavy with stretch marks on them kinda like yours except yours looked like you gave birth to two people and had to feed two people. He was beginning to feel like an obsessed weirdo and somehow his mind was only offended by the weirdo part.
Mikey was too busy focused on how your body rolls moved whenever you spoke or moved when pointing a finger at the child being scolded right now. He watched as your lips trembled while you spoke almost like you didn’t want to yell at your daughter or perhaps your love for them was too big and it took a lot out of you to yell at your daughter who looked like a cute kicked puppy being yelled at. Mikey almost spoke up for the little girl when he didn’t even know the situation or had anything to do with your family at all. His mind didn’t like the thoughts of growing attached to you, but his heart told another melody. He needed you or needed to be in your life one way or another. Even in the past life with Takemichi, he always wanted someone similar to you with or without kids. A mysterious beauty.
“ Ammy baby, I do not like yelling or scolding you, so can you please promise to be nice to your sister. You’ll be able to have fun with her just wait until I get us settled in and then you could play with your sister, he’ll even run in the backyard all you want just don’t go near the pool area, deal?”, You were now upstairs on the balcony with your daughter, both of you on your knees with a pink out. Your daughter smiled and wrapped her little pinky around your pink, sealing the deal with her speaking, “ Deal mommy, but mommy, can we go get our nails done again? I want light pink with zebra designs again like sapphire has with her star nails.”
You looked at her nails and smiled while nodding your head up and down, “ Okay, but no ac-”
“ No acrylics or press on or long nails at all, I know mom.”, Amethyst says with a big smile on her face. Her chubby cheeks were a cute distraction for you all the time but not this time as your voice grew a bit stern, “ Don’t interrupt me anymore, amethyst.”
Her little “sorry mommy” melted Draken’s heart a little because he remembered his little boy always saying sorry after Emma scolded him, even now while he’s seven. He could take a wild guess and guess your daughters are around his son’s age, maybe even older than him.
You smiled and pinched her cheeks owning a whine from her saying she’s older now but you paid that no mind, “It’s okay… but it’ll have to be when you come back after next week. Remember you have to go with daddy this week, which also means the faster you unpack, the more time we’ll have to get that mirror you wanted and take sapphire to get ice cream.”
“ Okay! We’ll help and stop playing, right Saphhire?”, Your daughter turned to hang her arms over the balcony while looking down at her sister who’s standing with her hands on her hips.
Sapphire narrowed her eyes before nodding her head. You smiled and clapped your hands, “ Okay, we shall be done by 6 pm since it’s 11 right now. Wanna see who can unpack the fastest?”
Sapphire perked up at the question and yelled up at the balcony where you and Amethyst stood, “ Yes! Gonna beat you two anyway. I run track.”
“ Oh please, saphhy, it’s baby track compared to the one we seen on tv, right mom?”, Amethyst said looking up at you.
You waved your hand and stepped back, “ That’s between you two, leave mom out of this one because you already know how she gets when people say that. You picked your battle now you gotta deal with her fact checking you. Sorry, baby girl.”
Amethyst pouted while sapphire was already on her way up the stairs to give her sister a talk and lesson meanwhile you were heading downstairs to the men you almost forgot were in your house.
“ Sorry about that, now where was I? Oh thank you for offering to help, but I think we got it from here, don���t wanna keep you for that long.”, You say while moving past them to walk outside to the truck.
“ Why are you trying to get rid of us so quickly, {reader’s new nickname}?”, Mikey pouts.
You whipped around at the name with confusion on your face, “ { reader’s new nickname}?”
Mikey smiled with his eyes closed at your question while Draken started to speak to you, “ yeah, I think it’s kinda insulting to say that after we just declared we’re here to help you. Besides, we can make it much easier if we invite our friends to join and something tells me they wouldn’t mind. The question is will you?”
You stared at the two and suddenly thought of something, “ hol up’ prior to agreeing to what you said. I need to know who’s moving my things in my house with me and my girls, so what’s your name? I already know your Manjirou, what’s your handsome?”
Draken almost stuttered but caught himself quickly with a small space of ruby hue on his face, “ It’s Ken Ryuguji, nice to meet you.” When your hand was in his, he felt the roughness of your knuckles and the softness on your skin. The feeling of your hand inside of his hand sent an electrical shock feeling inside of himself and he needed to know more about you. You got him to blush just like Emma and Mikey noticed that and saved it inside of his mind to tease Draken about it later.
Your unexpected laugh brought him back out of his daydream/thoughts, “ Nice to meet you as well, Kenny boy.”
Draken wonders if you could see how large his eyes got when you called him that, but your smirk lets him know that you did. Draken covered it up by turning around and taking long steps to your moving truck while Manjirou was on the phone with, you could guess, his friends.
And yes, there were a lot of them participating in moving your things. One guy with lilac hair in a mullet named Mitsuya and his friend with his blue hair in a haircut were great at getting your kids to focus on moving their boxes upstairs on the balcony by racing or in your words pacing with them. Another pair of guys, one with long hair and yellow highlights tied in a man bun and one with black hair down to his ears, were steering a guy with long, black hair and blue highlights in his hair away from you. You learned that they’re names were Kazutora, Chifuyu, and Baji, respectively. You suspect that these three are gonna be trouble for you, mainly baji. Oh how right you are…
A guy named Hanma wasn’t even helping just trying to get you to be his “ sexy vixen” for his photos to which earned him an insult and eye roll from Kisaki, a man that held elegance and if you looked in his eyes long enough, when he shook your hand when Manjirou first introduced you to him, you thought you seen hidden desires and mystery you could easily unsolve if you stared him into the eyes any longer. So you quickly broke eye contact with him.
You laughed at, who you learned are, Pah-chin and Peh arguing over one box, pulling it like a tug-of-war rope, it was funny but angry just ended up taking the box from them with Kakucho and his twin brother, Smiley, at his side. You were progressing greatly with unloading the truck but you also felt multiple eyes on different parts of your body. It was a lot of people here helping you so you could understand the eyes but it felt like some eyes you couldn’t shake off and when you felt a hard stare on you, you turned to see a white haired man with tan skin staring you down and he didn’t even blink while he stared at you. It was creepy and you were glad you were now grabbing the last box before another man with blue and blonde hair in a mullet helped you close the truck with his brother beside him.
You were so glad you were done by 6:45 pm because now you could take your daughters on their promised trips but first you wanted to thank the men that came to help you and your girls move your boxes inside. You didn’t particularly know why you allowed them all to help you, but they seemed to really want to help and plus maybe it’s a sign for something far greater to be bloomed. It was a gut feeling you were leaning on.
Your girls were now pushing their boxes into their rooms while you were on your way out the house.
Meanwhile, Draken and the rest were coming up with a plan to see you again. Chifuyu put his finger on his chin, “ what if we just show her around Tokyo one by one.”
“ How would we do that genius, we don’t live around here, only one who does is mi- that’s it, the key is Mikey’s house.”, Baji says to the other men around him.
Mikey shook his head and waved his hand in a ‘no’ motion, “ No, not possible. Need privacy, I mean it’s already bad enough seeing Baji and Hanma every other day drinking my juice without my permission.” He finished off his statement while glaring at the two men who shivered from his infamous glare.
“ She’s such a damn babe man ♡,why wouldn’t you like to see us win with her?!”, Hanma exaggerates, throwing his hands up.
Ran spoke next, “ She’s too good to be true. Almost too good. Perfect chubby body of hers, just want to palm every rumple and lump on her body, want her to scream my name. Fuck that I might even impr-”
Mochi interrupted him, “ Dude, you just met the woman, at least take her out or something. This is why women like her needs real men like m-”
“ Fuck no, she needs me because at least I’m good with kids, the orphanages proves that.”, Rindou says with a toothpick in his mouth.
“We’ve all participated in that Izana’s orphanage and were good with the kids so that’s debatable. Besides, the others haven’t even met her yet.”, Muto says next as he leans on his bike with his arms folded.
“ Sanzu should’ve been here then, so stop bringing that airhead up.”, Ran finishes.
You walk out to see all the men are either on their motorcycles or standing talking to another on their motorcycles. Your shoes were replaced with your pink heels which combined to your outfit of a pink, sleeveless top with dark blue jeans. Your sunglasses that were on your head were now on top of your sleeveless top. Each one of their eyes were now on you and they were analyzing every detail about you. From your walk they found attractive to your hair in a hairstyle you had, they even paid attention to the way your body bounced as you walked, specifically your tits.
“ I just wanted to thank you all for coming here to help me and my girls, hopefully we’ll see eachother agai-”, you say before feeling a hand grab yours, bringing it to his mouth.
You felt a small, wet kiss on your hand black hair with blue highlights falling in front of his face a little bit, “ You will see us again, after all Mikey and I are you neighbors.”
“ Mikey and I?”, Mikey asks, repeating what Baji said in confusion and frustration.
“ That explains why Kenny boy appeared out of nowhere.”, You say smirking when you see his face frown up because of your nickname.
“ Don’t call me that in front of them.”, Draken said with authority, balancing shyness in his tone. You laughed at his face, “ My bad would you like to hear me say it in private.”
Draken ears got red and he turned his head from your pretty eyes scoping out his face for his reaction to you baiting him, well. Too well especially when that comment made the other men's eyes wider and mouths drop into big and little o’s.
“ Anyways.”, you walked up to Mikey, who was eye level to your breast as of now and he was damn sure enjoying the view too. “ phone.”, you say as your manicured hand was held out towards him.
He had a confused expression on his face as he dug into his back pocket for his phone, now holding eye contact with you as you stared at him. He unlocked his phone and placed his phone in your hand— taking that as a go, you scrolled and found the phone app to put your number in his phone. Placing it back into his hand, “ Call me anytime you want, we’re neighbors now Manjirou. As for the rest of you, is there anyway I could re-”
“ Pssh, you do not have to pay us. Think of this as the start of a great thing, miss { reader’s last name}. It was very nice to meet you and I think that’s more than enough for many of us. So no payment.”, Kakucho says while starting up his motorcycle like the rest of them.
“ Is anyone gonna let me finish my sentences around here?”, You yelled as they were riding off. Mikey walked back to his house and Draken followed because his car was in front of his house. They were gonna continue until Mikey turned back to you with a big smile on his face, “ Nope. Plus that was a question!”
You laughed as he yelled back at you as the motorcycles rode off into the orange sunset. You had a feeling this wasn’t gonna be your last time seeing them. You heard your twins file out the house calling your name with their little jackets on them, ready to go on your small adventure before their dad came and got them for his week.
☆ᩧ  Draken and Emma ୨ ♡l
It’s been two months now and You and Draken hung out with each other a lot more than mikey especially because it’s their off season for their joint career. He told you all about his kid and wife which led to playdates with each of your children.
The playdates then led to meeting Emma who just got home from her trip with a woman named Hina. To say Emma wasn’t interested would be a lie because the way she held your plush body against her petite one was far too long and Draken knew from her famous wink and smile at him that he brought the perfect woman over to fulfill their desires.
From the way your tits sit in your light pink, ballerina wrap sweater and your hips looked in your blue jeans— hugging your wide hips tightly in the right places. You didn’t care about your tummy spilling over your pants which only added to your sexiness. You looked expensive and smelled expensive and yummy with your perfume following you everywhere you moved. They both thought as they eyed you while you were over for lunch— this time without the kids.
Coming to lunch with Draken and Emma was a normal thing, you lying underneath her as Draken was thrusting into your melting mouth was a different thing. A new thing— yet you and them loved this new thing because your moan-gargles were the highlight of both of their evenings and the fact that your pussy was getting sticky and wet from Emma was enough for you. Draken’s cock inside of your mouth was the plus.
“ Oh God! I haven’t had this much fun since Hina babe, Aah~.”, Emma moans as her slick covered yours— she sat her wet, pink pussy on top of yours and rose up to heaven because of how wet you were too. Your pussy was so much fatter than hers and she wanted to bury her face in it later.
“ Oh fuck, just like that, flick your tongue just like that pretty girl.”, Draken moans as he grips your hairstyle into a knot. Your tongue was flicking right and left his cock where his little vein lay, you knew that would break him since you used to do it with your husband. And believe me, he broke so much that he couldn’t talk to you for a day from embarrassment.
“ mmm, I cwn’t I cwn’t, mmmghhuhhh.”, Your moans were gargled and blocked by Draken thick cock going in and out of your mouth, the faster he went, the more the stretch burned the sides of your mouth. Emma went slower at rubbing her clit on top of yours— her hips were so tiny and round underneath your hands as you held her trying to make her go faster, sadly she didn’t listen. In fact, she loved the tears by building up in your eyes from the mouth penetration from her husband and the teasing she was doing as she performed scissoring against you. One of her pale creamy legs was in between your sorrel, thick thighs as she held onto your leg that she lifted up to a better position and held herself up. Emma was in love with the way both of your pussy’s made cute noises. Fuck it, they had to keep you for themselves. She’s gonna talk to Draken about it.
Speaking of Draken, he was too busy wrapping his hand tight around your throat, feeling his dick against your neck, the dick print caused him to become animalistic. His balls were now slapping against your forehead and it was a feel-good hurt. That wasn’t even summing up how brutal his pace was in your throat. Somehow it was too brutal, like the just right brutal and you loved it. “ Shit her throat is melting my dick, it’s like her throat is a predator clenching its teeth into a prey, so tight and wet. I could imagine that’s how her pussy feels right ems’?”
“Mmmphhh, fuck babe keep talking like that, I’m close but before you do, yes her pussy feels so good against mine. So wet and sticky, think I felt her clit, uhhghh Drakennn, h-her clit twitched which means she’s either about to cream or squirt. I’m betting on squirting. A shopping spree and another day with her on my end of the deal, what’s yours?”, Emma says as she starts speeding up by rocking her hips forwards and backwards in a riding motion that Draken loves when she’s on top of him. He was too mesmerized by her tits moving back and forth and your whines and moans vibrating his cock was not helping. Emma didn’t even want an answer because she was too lost in your pussy juices mixing with hers almost too perfectly. Your clit vibrated against hers and suddenly she felt a wet substance gush out of your pussy with your loud moans vibrating and engulfed by your own spit against Draken’s cock. All three of you screamed out or groaned especially when you swiped your tongue under his vein one last time.
Emma groped your right tit with her right hand and brought your hand to grope her left tit with your left hand. Her pussy was creaming against yours and yours was squirting against hers which means the substance was turning white and creamy. “ Dr-drakennnn! {reader’s nameeee}, I’m cummin’”
Draken’s hand reached between you two to feel both of your wetness and brought his hands to his mouth as his cock was parked inside of your mouth, lumping his cum into you nonstop, “ so fucking good, need you to swallow all of it, ya hear me? Wanna’ fuck you and my wife while you two lay on top of eachother but first I need you to take all of my load, fu-uuhhh-ck, so hot and sexy.” He was looking at Emma and then peered down at you with your face covered in mascara and spit dripping down your face from his rough face fucking. Yeah, he was definitely gonna give you and Emma a prize and you’ll be a fine third in their relationship, especially since your children seem to get along well with theirs.
☆ᩧ  Takemichi and Hina ୨ ♡l
Hina and Takemichi were looking for a person to fulfill both of their desires at once so when Emma told Hina about you and her time with one another, Hina was intrigued on meeting you, so when she did, she was stunned. Takemichi was definitely gonna love you because you’re exactly the epitome of his browser history and you are literally the woman described in his dream he told her about. He was so into Milfs so you were perfect and she was into hot older women so you were perfect.
Meeting Takemichi after Hina was something you’ll never forget especially when he blurted out “ Hot” when he saw you just for Hina to enclose her hand over his mouth, apologizing profusely to you in the act of saving you from possibly chewing up takemichi. She let out a sigh of relief when you just smiled at the two.
Once they both got to meet you, they started to hang around you a lot for a month, Draken and Emma hung out too but Takemichi and Hina were clingier to you, it was a weird but good feeling. The feeling of you being wanted was something you haven’t had in a long time towards you so why not indulge in it with another couple. Remember no strings attached to your little affairs; a note you made to yourself.
Reasons why you were rolling your hips on top of Takemichi snatching all of his moans from him with a sealed kiss each time he let out a squeaky moan. Your hands were flat against your bed and your boobs were happily bouncing in his face causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head, “mmmhh fuck Mitchy, you’re dick is stretching me open. Is this what you take every night little Hina?” Once your head turned to her Hina moaned even more louder as she watched you continue to roll your ass in a slow circle, taking his dick in and out of your clenching hole. She always wanted to see someone else fucking Takemichi while she watched or joined, last time it was Emma since they decided on swinging that one unforgettable night after planning that for years.
She reached down to rub herself through her panties as she watched you wait for your answer and once she didn’t give you one, you slammed your ass on Takemitchy’s sensitive cock, taking him deeper inside while still holding eye contact with Hina, “ I don’t like to repeat questions, pretty one. Now answer my question or would you like your husband to pay the price by expanding his overstimulation time, limits are only for good boys and girls, especially if they’re married to each other because remember, Ahh fuck, remember you guys are one, so what ever you do will effect the other one.” Takemitchy couldn’t take your pussy swallowing his cock so deliciously and came inside of you surprising you a little. Hina was even surprised but luckily she was even more turned on because she never would’ve guessed she’d be into sharing as much as she is right now. Maybe it’s because she wanted you too.
Takemichi clenched the sheets with a tight grip pleading for mercy, “ Please.. please, I can’t. Oh god, Hina please answer her baby. Ahhn shit, she feels so hot and perfect.” Hina now had her fingers inside of her squelching pussy not caring about anything but the way you demanded an answer from her, fuck she was in love with your dominance, “ I-I’m sorry, yes yes I take all his cock every night, can I please touch you or you touch me? I don’t care I just want your attention~”
You laughed and used two fingers in a come here motion to her which immediately made her stand up and come next to you— grabbing her chin tightly, you smiled at her, “ Touch yourself Hina, touch yourself while you kiss me as I fuck your husband like the dirty man he is. I got a feeling you want to see him cry just like me, isn't that right Hina?” She nodded her head and placed her lips on yours savoring the taste of your pink flavored lip gloss on your lips, although the flavor lasted longer than the gloss though. Hina reached to play with her clit in between her index finger and middle finger- whimpering in identical Rhythm with her husband who’s panting and crying with big tears rolling down his ruby flushed face, “ wan’ more! Need more miss {reader’s name}.”
“ Really now? Stand in front of me, on the bed. Latch onto my shoulders if you have to.” You looked down and smirked at Takemichi before lifting all the way up, his cock finally getting the rest it needed. Relief only washed over him for a quick second because now you were pushing his cock back and forth on your clit and vagina hole, it’s like you were teasing him too damn much and he knew he was gonna burst any minute especially from the water erupting from your pussy causing you to shake a little— letting go of his cock because of your pussy starting to squirt even more as you continued rubbing your pussy on his dick.
“ Shit Hina, {reader’s name}, I wanna cum. Wanna cum so bad. Can I cum please? Please.”, Takemichi moaned as his head flew back against the pillow. Takemitchy looked so pretty in your eyes as his sweat rolled down his face connecting with the fat tears pouring down his eyes, his slender chest lifting up and down and perky nipples red with bites from you and Hina prior to this session now. Wonderfully, something even more prettier was in your face now: Hina’s wet pink but slightly tan pussy. You looked up at her as you stuck your tongue out ready for her to ride your tongue. This just reminds you of you and your husband swinger days, oh how you missed experimenting with your ex-husband.
Hina threw her strawberry blonde hair back as her head snapped back in pure carnality of your thick, wet muscle swiping across her pussy. You hummed in delight before reaching up to grab her hips and shoved her pussy into your face— latching your lips on her clit during the time of her small, delicate hands holding tightly onto your head, raising one leg up on your shoulder to give you better access, “ Fuck, this feels soooo goodahhh, keep licking me like that miss {reader’s name}.” You gladly obliged to her small demand and flicked your o this faster over her clit making sure to apply a little pressure on her clit by the heaviness of your tongue. She tasted so damn natural and good, pussy was something you loved eating and appreciating when it comes to women, she was the woman who’s pussy you’ll come back to for thirds, fuck seconds.
Takemichi was cross eyed now at the time of small spit strings appearing and disappearing whenever he opened and closed his mouth, panting out wanton moans and whimpers when you finally reached down to skillfully place him back inside of you. You loved the feeling of his cock jumping inside of you as his and your juices mixed together started to drip down his balls and onto the bed. He felt so sticky and he didn’t care. This was his first time cumming back to back and it’s all because of you. You were Overstimulating him and his wife especially with the way your tongue flicked against his wife’s pussy. He couldn’t think about nothing as he heard Hina’s pretty moans and the slurping and wet sounds you were producing by your mouth and pussy. This was the best he had and he’s pretty sure Hina thinks the same because of the way she’s thrusting her small hips up and down— shaking as she approached another orgasm. “ mmm, God, I wanna do this again, Hina. Shit.”
☆ᩧ  Mitsuya Takashi ୨ ♡l
Mitsuya was in love with hanging out with you and your kids. They reminded him of his little sisters from when they were that age. The way they act, argue, and etc. was similar to Luna and Mana. He loves watching you be a good parent to them and them coming to confide in you about anything like the other day when Saphhire asked “what’s it like to be friends with someone you just met” when referring to her own friendship with someone at school and your own with Mitsuya and the others.
She even asked Mitsuya the same question and a question about his life, not too nosy, just a curious baby girl and he happily answered them, which gave the go to Amethyst to ask him questions too. They were slowly making their way into his heart just like you were.
Mitsuya loved being around you and watching you smile and light up at things you loved to speak about or indulge in. Every since you told him about your fashion designing career taking off, he’s been asking you to chime in on his own pieces so that’s why he invited you to his shop, which was a mistake because when he saw your dolce & gabbana leopard print dress clenching to your pretty full-figure and your black pumps, his pants grew tighter and he couldn’t focus.
Mitsuya couldn’t help but to place his hands on your hips as your ass was slightly bent over as you helped him with his patterns for his dress he was designing for his upcoming fashion show in Osaka. His hands felt like they belonged on your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulders to see what you were doing and you were doing the peacock design so perfectly, more perfect than what he had in his mind. He breathed in your expensive scent and sighed prior to trailing his large hands over the paunchy skin poking out your dress at your sides and down to your ass rubbing it. “ Remember what I said I wanted to do to you after our date? Wanna take you right here and now as you focus on helping to design my dress you’re wearing in my fashion show. Will you mess it up or will you finish off well?” Once you turned your head to look at him with a full blown lust in your eyes, he knew he had you wrapped around his finger now, especially with your next words, “ Please take me. Wanted you ever since our second date.”
With that, Mitsuya had your dress hiked up around your waist whilst pounding inside of your cunt, “ Fuck, you’re so sexy, my love. Want to fuck you every day of my life, don’t care how old you are. Want you forever now.” He felt you shake as your ass bounced against him every time he thrusted into you. The ripples from your ass plus the sexy leopard print on your body was causing him to have a feeling in his chest he couldn’t describe. He found the print he was going to fuck you in everyday in his life, for the future with you too. The print he was going to design with just to fuck and make love to you in. The print he was fucking you in now.
You stopped using the pen with blue markings for the peacock patterns because of Mitsuya twirling his hips as he snapped his hips forward, “ Yes, yes, mmmgh, god, your dick is fucking me so good right now.” You tried to go back to printing in the peacock pattern in the dress and you almost fucked up due to Takashi massaging your tits with both of his hands on each boob now, “ Takashiii, I can’t do it. I can’t focus while you’re, mmmhh, fucking me. But I don’t want you to stop.”
Mitsuya smirked before grabbing the pen out your hand—throwing it somewhere afore taking you away from the curvy Manikin that was creepily modeled after your body, too bad you were too busy getting fucked as you walked to his desk. Mitsuya couldn’t missed the opportunity of fucking into you at the angle your body was making right now. Your back was to his chest as you two walked step by step to the desk, your designer heels clicking against the floor with every step you two took. He slammed inside of you, fast and long were what his strokes felt like. Mitsuya was stuffing you full of dick, not letting up when you reached back to move your hand to his stomach pushing on it only to get your hands locked into both of his hands, “ fuck no, sunshine, you’re not getting away after all the stroking of my leg under the dinner table or the taunting you were doing by saying I can’t handle a woman you’re age as if you didn’t fuck Draken or Takemitchy, you play around a lot, love. Lemme show you what the other twin dragon could do.”
It was obvious he was a bit jealous you fucked Draken first but his jealousy was short lived when you said, “ I only got my mind on you right now mitsyy, you’re fucking me right now not them so show me what the other twin dragon can do, the one I really want.” You should’ve never moaned those words because Mitsuya was now holding your head down on the table with one hand and the other one was still holding your hands together alluding to a rope of his own, “ fuck, sunshine, you can’t say words like that. Fucking hell.” Mitsuya's eyes rolled to the back of his head as your pussy wrapped around his wet dick like a blue rubber glove sticking to your skin when you put them in water.
He moved his hand off your hand to let it join his other hand holding your hand when he suddenly heard you moan loudly as you whined and cried with your face on his desk, “ M’cummin, M’cummin right now. Kashiii, it feels like my stomach is snapping, ahhhnnn.” Mitsuya felt his shoes get heavy and wet making him stop to look down seeing you squirting on his cock and his designer shoe, some of the liquid landing on the floor. If you would’ve looked back at Mitsuya, you would’ve seen his wide smile and wild eyes full of shine because he found his new obsessions about you— the new obsession was joining his other details about you he was obsessed with.
“ That’s right, baby. Squirt on my cock just like that.”, Mitsuya says, still pushing his cock inside of you, not caring if tears were pouring down your eyes because of the overstimulation you were getting. You wondered if this is what Takemichi felt like. This was hell and pleasure at the same time. Takashi's eyes rolled and mouth opened to spurt out moans at the feeling of your ass throwing back against his pelvis creating powerful smacking sounds inside of his studio, which was closed as soon as he switched the sign off. He felt himself about to cum and couldn’t hold your hands back anymore, he needed to hold your body tight as you cum on his cock. He wanted to cum inside of you, not knowing if you’re on birth control or not— he doesn’t even care if you were or not, time for him to have a child anyways.
Mitsuya grabbed your stomach through your dress and pulled you up while you were still in your heels towering over him a little, yet he didn’t care. He just needed to see you cum undone again, luckily his mirror was behind his chair and he stared straight ahead watching your face expressions change multiple times in sequence with his thrusts too. Soon as he snapped his hips against your ass making a big clap sound, his stomach knot came undone and he came right inside of you with a loud moan following, “ Fuck yes. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect girl. My fucking girl.” He was babbling and you squirted out his white cum which essentially got mixed with his cum so now you were squirting out white juices as you broke inside of his arms. You tried to escape off his cock and out of his arms, but he didn’t budge not once even if he was growing a bit weak at the moment, “ You’re not going anywhere so just relax, sunshine. Kissing your forehead to finish off his sentence just right.
“ Yo, Mitsuya, you managed to bag a Milf huh?”
☆ᩧ  Taiju Shiba & South Terano ୨ ♡l
Taiju walked into Mitsuya studio right on time—seeing you bent over the table with your heels glued to the floor and dress melting in your skin because of the sweat dancing across your body was everything he needed to see to get hooked on you as well. He didn’t even like when Mitsuya hurried to cover you up with his jacket by the chair on the left of him. He wanted to see you even more.
Luckily, He finally got to see you in his restaurant with two friends from your old neighborhood accompanying you at the dinner to discuss everything in your life from your kids to your sex lives. Taiju was viewing the way your lips were moving from where he stands on the balcony above, he was listening to South speak but watching you intensely. South was a person he wouldn’t consider a friend but is very much a friend in other people's eyes. He was back from Ireland because of a match over there and was gloating about his championship win, yet again.
South felt like Taiju wasn’t listening and stopped talking to walk bedside Taiju looking down at you. South followed his gaze and saw you laughing about your friend telling you a story about how the men she fucked was a slug as he fucked her. South smirked and made his way down to you and when he got to you he interrupted the conversation and introduced himself. Taiju vein appeared in his forehead as he watched South spit his pathetic game on you. Taiju knew it wasn’t gonna work until he saw you writing down your number before raising a class at him as you gave your number to South, who didn’t notice the way you were staring up at Taiju.
You felt like you were being a slut but you were divorced for years and celibate for two years after, you needed this and that was your excuse besides you were still young in mother years so why not indulge in your fantasies and save your 40s for sitting down again. Your 20s were stolen from you by your ex husband so now you’re reliving them. You haven’t felt this feeling since your swinging days. You were always private about your life that people didn’t expect that or this act from you until they actually knew you. Yet, You never would’ve thought that these two would get you the first night of meeting them because now you’re in South’s black 2024 Chevrolet convertible bouncing on South’s cock at the back of Taiju’s restaurant with Taiju leaning on the car, smoking a cigar, “ Hurry the fuck up, South. I want her spreaded on this ugly ass car of yours.”
“ Shut the fuck up, this pussy is too good and tight for me to have to cum to your annoying ass voice in the background, so shut up!” South slapped your ass before grabbing it with his large ass hands, his cold rings on his fingers were a contrast with your skin as he lifted you up and down. “ Fuck yes, baby! Fucking tight for an old bitch like yourself, Mmgh fuck, color me impressed. Pussy is swallowing my dick like it’s a mouth. Fuck yeah!”
You were too drunk off how deep his thick cock was inside of you that you couldn’t even hear half of the words he was saying, plus your moans were growing louder and louder, “ Aaahn, it’s so damn deep, fu-uhhhmmm, I think I’m close.” Your hands came up to his neck as you wiggles your ass before riding him up and down to chase your own orgasm, “ Ahhh yes, dick, your dick is so fucking, hnnhahhh. Keep fucking me, South.” A slap to your ass and his head flying back against his seats indicated that he’s in pure rhapsody, basking in the feeling of your pussy taking him like no other woman his age could, the late 20s women couldn’t take all of his dick even if they tried. He’s now hooked on you and he doesn't plan on letting you go but for now, he got to because Taiju’s right here.
Taiju watched your movements whilst riding South’s cock like you were on a bull ride, your dress was up and gave him a perfect view of your ass he couldn’t stop staring at or fantasizing about since he saw it when you fucked Mitsuya. He exhaled the smoke building up in his throat— his yellow eyes watching the car move up and down as you two bounced even more faster due to South’s intense grip on your ass lifting it up and down like you were a pocket pussy of his. South didn’t care about your weight, he wasn’t a heavy weight champion for nothing so don’t underestimate him, “ Shit baby, I could feel your pussy shaping to my cock and now you’re about to cum aren’t you?” Taiju watched you babble out your words to the point they were coming out slurred. You couldn’t speak when South’s cock was reaching places you haven’t felt in a long time, thanks to his right- curved dick.
Taiju smirked at your head flying back as your arms were going limp meanwhile South wrapped his muscular arms around your waist still moving you up and down despite you going limp and mind fucked, some drool was even trailing down your mouth because of your head being back and your mouth open releasing now muffled screams in Taiju’s hand clamped over your mouth, “ Shit, she’s a creamer and screamer, can’t forget a squirter too.” South squeezed his eyes shut followed by a loud groan escaping his mouth, he came into the condom that was pathetically wrapped around his cock, “ Really now? Let’s see if I could—”
“ Fuck no. It’s my turn now give her to me.”, Taiju opened the car door and lifted you up into his arms to walk you to the hood of South’s car. “ You’re okay, little strawberry?” You nodded your head sluggishly, “ m’not done but yes I’m okay now fuck me.” Taiju hummed and unbuckled his pants to free his hard, aching cock onto your wet pussy— legs cocked open revealing the most prettiest pussy he ever seen, “ Fuck, she’s so pretty covered in your wetness.” To get his point across even more, he slid his index finger over your pussy to hold it up to your mouth, “ See how sticky she is, gonna make this pussy mine tonight.”
Taiju was a man of a few words but whenever he did speak, his words were absolute because his cock was driving you crazy as he fucked you on top of the car you’re desperately trying to hold on to. His hips smacked into yours, not giving a damn if people heard the loud smacking noises your bodies created as they slapped into each other. Each time he fucked into you, the car rocked with South chuckling in the back seat with his phone in his hand, he was on the phone with Mikey asking him if he’s up for fighting in benkei’s gym with him. Taiju paid no attention to his loud voice because of your moans drowning out South’s annoying voice, “ nngh! Wanna cum, wanna cu-uhnmmm.”
“ Cum on my dick, strawberry. Make a mess of my cock baby. Need that pussy squirting and creaming on me. Come on, I know you could give me what I want. Fuck!”, Taiju groaned as he leaned over you with his chin on your head while one of his hands were on your head and another one was on your thighs— printing his hand into your thigh from how tight he was gripping the fat of your thigh. Nothing but his chest was in your view and you loved it even if he had his white dress shirt on. Once his cock started to make its way to kiss your cervix you were glad you came before that because you knew that would’ve hurt you if he ended up kissing it. Taiju stopped and came inside of you when you came on his cock causing him to dent South’s hood by how hard he banged his falling hand from your head on it. Both of your moans and groans plus South vulgar language in all three languages he speaks fluently in were heard due to the effect of Taiju fucking up his car. Your friends weren’t even thought about as your squirting came out in white and clear water because of his cum and your cream mixed together.
“ Oh shut the fuck up, I’ll fix it.”
☆ᩧ  Tokyo Manji Gang ୨ ♡l
Your kids were growing a little bigger as the months flew by. It's now April and when you moved to Tokyo it was in the middle of January. They formed bonds with Emma’s son and the men you formed relations with. So when your babies were over for their week, you loved spending time with them and the men and women who stop by your house. Mikey and Amethyst always got into it over the dorayaki he got her hooked on by bringing them over and asking if you could make some from scratch. Sapphire loved riding on Hanma’s or Mochi’s neck or backs. During your week with them, it was nothing but fun and extraordinary things happening, reasons why they plan on getting their dad to move across or next to you, on the other side .
They love when it’s your week because you're the most fun out of the two. You were a little strict when needed but they knew to get their acts together quickly. They loved the house, friends, and most of all, you. So whenever they have to leave, like now, they always get a little sad until Kazutora- who you met at his pet shop- promised to show them the baby bobcat they recently placed in their pet shop. Instantly brighten up their faces, you whispered a thank you to him as he and Chifuyu hugged your baby dolls.
You’ve recently been getting so down and sad whenever they leave and this was one of the moments that the Toman crew got to witness with their own eyes, it was almost sad with how moppy you became, but when Mikey came up with a plan every piece of sympathy escaped the men as they came up with a plan to get your smile or cheeks brightened again, a great plan considering the way your mid-thigh, purple sundress sat on your figure just right with your light purple Steve Madden strap heels to match.
Sex and comfort was Mikey’s plan and it was working as he watched Kazutora and Baji lick your pussy at the same time, tongues knocking into each other several times as you tongue fucked you and hakkai kissing your lips to stop your moans from getting any louder not that they minded. He watched as Draken and Mitsuya spoke about their plans with the vacation getaway they were planning, but Manjirou wasn’t paying attention or going if you’re not. He wanted you there, so that’s why he thought this master plan of his was actually smart. As soon as you started to kiss Mikey before this current situation, you forgot what you were sad about. Your emotions didn’t exactly flip right then and there, after all it took Mikey whispering sweet sayings to you as he and Sanzu laid you down.
“ She’s such a loud moaner, wanna see if we can make her scream?”, Nahoya says to his brother Souya as a bet between them until Hanma decided to join in their conversation, “ 10 yen if I make her scream?” You couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation because baji’s tonhue ring was vibrating against your clit and you couldn’t hear anything but that, well at least you thought you could hear the vibrations from the momentum of his tongue flicking up and down your clit in a long oval taking in the beauty of pussy eating right in front of his eyes. Kazutora and, now, Chifuyu watched with gleaming eyes at how your body squirmed under their holds as Keisuke fucked his tongue piercing all over your pussy. The slurping sounds got louder as he proudly stuffed his face back in your pussy, not letting up even if you thrashed around with loud muffled moans contributing to your brain becoming mushy.
“ Fuck, she’s so fucking volumptous every where, even her pussy is volumptous, wan’ my turn too so Keisuke hurry the hell up!”, Pah chin says forgetting about Yuki for a moment until he heard her voice on the other side of the phone telling him to hold the phone up straight so she could see. She was too busy out with Senju and Yuzuha so she couldn’t participate with all the men of Toman like that but luckily Pah-chin was ever so the loving husband— deciding to FaceTime her so her and the girls could see what they were missing. Keisuke felt your fingers in his hair, yanking and pulling on his ponytail eagerly trying to get yourself off faster and he wasn’t having it, so he stopped and smirked at your head rising up from the sofa in hurt and confusion.
“ Sorry princess, can’t let you cum so fast yet, need you whining on our cocks begging to cum over and over again”, Keisuke says as he rises up from his knees.
Mitsuya chuckled before pitching in himself, “ She’s so damn beautiful when she cums, her little lip bite she does before screaming out will always get me going.”
Draken laughed and nodded his head in agreement while Takemichi blushed as he looked at you with your brown nipples out and your sundress bunched up on your tummy—your pussy was on full display. Your pussy was the prettiest he's ever seen, especially with someone who’s hairy, not bush wise yet not that he wouldn’t or they wouldn’t mind but it looks like it’s growing hair on it. “ She’s so beautiful.” A hand was placed on his shoulder as Takemichi stared at your body lifting up and down due to the oxygen you let in and out, “ Easy, we’re just getting started Takemichi.” Kisaki, a man Takemichi would’ve never thought he’d befriend but here we are. The final timeline was something he hardly discussed with anyone other than Mikey and possibly Chifuyu, he so badly wanted to say that you weren’t a part of the final timeline but damn you were a fine ass edition so why would he worry or complain.
Indeed it was the beginning because after Pah and Pey both took turns spitting on your pussy and eating you out, the twins were now fucking you while Sanzu had his cock in your mouth. You didn’t care about anything except getting fucked without any mercy from nahoya and mercy from Souya, they were ying and yin while fucking into both ends, courtesy to Draken for using his fingers to prep your ass to take Nahoya’s thick 7 inch cock. Your gags and moans were music to everyone’s ear, especially the man who’s holding your head as he fucked into your mouth while your body was stuck in between Angry and Smiley. “ Fuck, she’s a fucking pro at taking and sucking dick. Toman’s little fuck doll.”, Sanzu moaned as he threw his head back.
“ More like Toman’s pretty little Milf, fuck, I wonder what the others would say once they found out she’s milked almost everyone in this room by now. Such a naughty older slut we got our fingers on and in boys.”, Hanma boasts with a loud laugh following making the others roll their eyes at his foolishness. Once they heard the loud slapping and choking noises coming from them fucking into your body, they knew the only thing on your mind was the word dick and they were right. It was like an repeated echo in your mind because of how fucked your mind was. Soon after them though, Kisaki and Hanma both got a turn and you couldn’t take Hanma’s cock in your pussy, he was possibly the largest out of everyone but not larger than south and Taiju whom you had before. His big hands were imprinted on your thighs as he held you up, fucking you against the edge of the table, creaks of it scrapping the floor as he fucked his cum into you. The same cum Kisaki slurped out of you before spitting it back on your pussy and devouring you, “ Too much. Too much. Ahhn.” Your moans were music to Kisaki’s ears.
you managed to still hold on for Mikey’s and the Baji trio. Mikey has his cock in your pussy now and Baji had his cock in your ass at the same time of you switching between Chifuyu and Kazutora, either sucking their cocks or giving them handjobs. Mikey groaned as he felt your pussy tightly clench onto him as he sloppily thrusts his hips forward and backwards, him and Baji moving at different paces torturing your pussy and ass, “ Fuck yeah, bunny. So fucking good for me and my friends aren’t you? Wanna know something, my brothers gonna be pissed I got you first, even my older brother who I- fuck! You’re milking my cock so well- I talk about you to. Good luck dealing with both, my chubby bunny. Now cum f’me.” And indeed you came especially hearing how his entire family wanted you. Your body shaking and creaming on their cocks made the men chuckle and moan in delight.
☆ᩧ  Yokohama Tenjiku Gang l ୨ ♡l
Izana got word from his little brother bragging about how good you treated him and his friends. He didn’t like it one bit so he ended up inviting you over to his house to teach him how to bake your famous peach cobbler you made for him when you cooked dinner that one Sunday before your kids went to their dad. He remembered getting to know you even more as you told stories about your little family and where you all were from and etc.
He remembered that night, might even got it tattooed in his mind because he remembered your outfit you wore for the lots of them. Appropriate around your children but still somewhat inappropriate around them from the way it fits your body just right. He noticed all your clothes fit your body, that’s when a light bulb came to his head and he remembered you saying you design or tailor pieces of clothing yourself.
So when he invited you over to his house to make your famous peach cobbler, he or his friends weren’t expecting to see you dressed like you were walking the runway. With a pink and black spaghetti strap dress on and black and black custom made La Parfait heels with pink frills on them, Mochi was the first to ask why you were so dressed up. Neither one of them liked your answer because who were you going on a date with?! It wasn’t anyone from Toman, considering Koko asked the questions related to them and Toman, so who?
Too bad, you couldn’t tell them because A). They didn’t want to actually know and the peach cobbler was abandoned as soon as you mentioned the man you met two months ago, Keizo Arashi. The way that you gloat about him when meeting him in his gym for the first time, pisses half of them off so that led to you being split open by Izana's large cock. His cock was a cock you never wanted to let go of, which is why it gripped which made him release a hiss— slapping your heavy tits repeatedly, “ You really think I’m gonna let you go out with my brother’s friend when I could do more for you than he ever could, no matter if I’m 30. We are only seven years apart baby, don’t piss me off Mahal.”
You felt like your tits were gonna be sore after he and the Haitanis’ get done with them. They’re mouths were glued to each tit after he slapped them. Rindou’s tongue ring was enough to make you whimper and moan while grabbing his blue and yellow mullet without a care in the world. Ran’s mouth was the total opposite of how Rindou made you feel but you still loved him sucking on your tit until milk suddenly leaked out causing him to happily suck on your bouncing tit even more. Ran moaned in delight as he sucked out the milk of your tits, “ Still lactating after all these years, baby doll. Everyday I become more obsessed with you”. You tried to push him off in embarassment, but Izana grabbed your hands in his pulling them down to your stomach as he fucked into you missionary style, “ no, no, it’s so embarrassing but feel so go-ouuuuhhdah.”
“ Good. Be embarrassed, the more humiliated you are, the more your pussy grips my cock just perfect, pretty baby. You’re such a pretty slut who loves to put on a fake persona, aren’t you?”, Izana asks as he snaps his hips into your thighs. Before you could wail out your answer, a presence clouded around you whilst squinting your eyes, “ Mind if I fuck your mouth like the whore that you are.” Your pussy spasms on Izana’s cock making him moan as his white curly hair stuck to his face as it ran with the sweat forming on his forehead, “ Shit! This cougar pussy loves to be degraded, yeah.” Mochi tapped your chin with his huge, heavy dick telling you to open up as he saw your mind start to get foggy as you babbled about needing more like you were casting a spell. You glady opened your mouth and took his cock inside of it. Mochi took in a breathe during the time of your throat taking him in, the gags on his cock made him throw his head back, “ fuck yeah, slut. You’re taking my cock in so well, wan’ more don’t cha?” When you stupidly tried to answer with your mouth, more gags and muffles were vibrating his cock making everyone laugh at your stupidity.
Muto rose up from his seat with Koko and Inupi following behind, “ She’s so stupid. Can’t even answer because her mouth and pussy is being stuffed so well that she can’t speak or form correct sentences. Such a pity for a beautiful woman like yourself. Such a toy, our fuck toy.” Muto wanted to fuck your ass so he waited until Izana came deep inside of your pussy not caring about any consequences, your pussy was too good for him to pull out or fuck with a condom, “ Squeezing me so tight, darling. My little Angel is gonna make me cum. Fu-uhhghhh.” Mochi was next to cum deep inside of your mouth not caring how animalistic his groan was.
You thought you could catch a breath but Muto already had his hands on your body when everyone separated from you, the tit that Ran was sucking on was sore and sensitive to touch right now. Muto lifted you up in his arms and walked you to the couch to sit down with you still having your legs wrapped around him, “ Ride me in reverse, might cum too fast looking at your pretty ass face.” You giggled before getting up to get in the reverse cowgirl position, looking back at him as you grabbed his freed, long cock in your hands. Sliding your pussy on his cock was a magnificent view for Muto as it was for Koko and Inupi standing on the side of you two. You teased Muto at first as your hand still held his cock while slipping him in and out, gaining an irritated grunt from him until he grabbed your hips to slam your down on his cock causing your eyes to go wide and your mouth to scream out curse words. The impact of his cock inside of you was stretching and painful, he’s up there with fucking South, so you couldn’t move just yet because he was letting you catch your breathe again, “ See what teasing me do. Make me wanna make you scream and cry in pleasure on my dick.”
Before you know it, your body was bent down in a all fours position whilst Muto pounded into you with Koko recording the entire thing for himself, fuck everyone else because when you have to pratically manage Manjirou’s finance it was a lot of stress for him and Kisaki, so he needed this. Muto loved the way your ass jiggle as he thrusted up into you, “ The greatest ass I ever seen, just wanna fuck you all day to see it, may even wanna fuck it soon.” Your moans were muffled and what you were saying was gibberish so Muto bent down a little to lift you up to bring you into his chest so now your back was to his sweaty chest while his head was on your shoulders breathing in your intoxicating scent. Koko came closer with his cock now out, “ What was that? Couldn’t hear what you were trying to say, don’t tell me you’re becoming senile already, you’re only in your late 30s. But if you’re not senile, prove it to me and the camera audience.”
You didn’t care about what he was saying, you just needed something in your mouth fast or else you’ll wake their neighbors up especially since your pus A is starting to get sloppier and wetter which means, “ Holy shit, she’s squirting. The pretty bunny is squirting on Muto’s dick nonstop, can’t wait for my turn, so hurry up Muto!” A new voice, Shion, the man who was edging himself this entire time. Muto snapped his hips up three more times, cumming inside of you. You were now stuffed with two of their cum and you somehow felt like your younger self again, in other words, a young cum slut again. Muto grip on your hips were gonna make a dark purple bruise on your sable skin, but you were too busy silent screaming as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your mouth opened in a little O. Koko captured all of it and now he was capturing it up close with his cock getting worked by your hand as the Haitanis’ and inui took you together. The fact that you were getting fucked in both holes recklessly tells them what type of slut you were back then.
Ran and Rindou loved how well you were sucking their dicks inside of your pussy and prepared ass, thanks to Shion who fingered and ate your ass. Shion slobbering all over your puckering hole was a little embarrassing for you since everyone was watching but it felt so good so you moved the embarrassment to the back of your head. So he was finally useful for something after all these years and that was opening you up for Ran to shove his cock inside of your ass proudly and loudly too. Rindou’s cock had lots of girth so it was hard for him to fuck into you without hurting you until you declared, “ Wan’ more. Rindou please fuck me, stretch me I don’t care. Need more. Ahhghn.” Rindou took that as a go to slam inside of you at the same time of his brother slamming inside of you from below. Soon they both found cadence, so when Inupi came from the side to grab your head to let you suck him, everything fell into place like dominos.
Inupi was trying to hold his whimpers and moans back until Koko reached to slap his hands, “ No. No. Let her hear how amazing that slut of a mouth she has is.” And he did by grabbing your hair tightly in his clutch as his long but skinny cock moved inside of your mouth like he never wanted it to stop. Your moans from how hard and fast the Haitani brothers were fucking you was cut off by Inupi slamming his cock inside of your spit bubbles filled mouth. Fuck your face was getting messier as your mascara poured down your eyes and snot started to form, fuck you were so messy and that only turned Inupi and everyone else on even more. Your phone ringing non stop wasn’t even heard because of how much everyone was moaning, groaning, or screaming. Izana held your phone with a devilish smile on your face while looking at the caller ID with Benkei’s name appearing and disappearing from how much he was calling you. “Too late she’s with us now.”
☆ᩧ  Original Black Dragons Gang l ୨ ♡l
Manjirou invited you over to his house again, this time it was only him so you were really excited. He wanted to watch you cook him your grandma’s Sunday dinner you rave about. He couldn’t focus on anything you had to say because he was just watching you cook with your pink polka dot apron that had “Hot Cook” on it. He was about to ask you a question about the macaroni and cheese but he got interrupted by Izana yelling his name all throughout the house trying to find where he was at.
Manjirou was annoyed he got cut off from his time alone with you so he and Izana were arguing and while they were arguing the doorbell rang again. You were debating if you wanted to get it but eventually you did because they kept arguing about you and other things. As you opened the door, three men including Benkei stood there.
Your action of hugging Benkei caused the other two men to be confused and jealous. After the hug, they all went inside and so Benkei introduced you to his friends. Handshakes came from Wakasa and Shinichiro while Takeomi tried to hug you just to feel your boobs squished against his chest. Mikey didn’t like the way the older men stared at you like you were the only person in the room. It irked Izana as well, seeing Shinichiro's eyes linger on your ass as you walked away to turn off the stove.
Great decision to turn off the stove and oven because you were being bent over the table by Shinichiro grabbing your hair as a cigarette hung from his mouth, “ Such a beauty you all were hiding from us.” Benkei’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth while both hands were occupied by Takeomi and Walasa’s cocks. Your jeans you wore were somewhere on the floor and the shirt completely ripped due to Takeomi’s hands so now you were only being fucked from behind with a apron on. Spit dripped down your chin as you tongue kissed Benkei so passionately as Mikey and his, final timeline, Toman gang sat on chairs, floor, and couches. All have their eyes on you getting fucked by people older than you. “ Mmphff.” Wakasa chuckled at you desperately moaning in the heated kiss you and his best friend shared, “Hear that, she’s enjoying this so much, did her body shudder from the touch of your hands… from the silence I could tell it didn’t so watch and learn boys.”
Shin yanked your hair in your hairstyle some more and pushed his long, hard cock inside of you. His baggy pants were on his ankles as he fucked you with skin to skin contact. His skin pumped fresh blood of excitement because he was fucking a Milf and he always wanted to fuck one, older or younger than him, he didn’t care. “ Shit! Her pussy is still so tight and comfortable after fucking every last one of you here. Such great pussy that you should treat as a prize every day. I always taught you guys right? Manjirou and Izana? To treat women like the best damn person to walk on earth and now I’m teaching you how to treat their pussies like the greatest prize you’ll ever get.” Manjirou gulped while Izana nodded his head, rolling his eyes after before speaking, “ You have a lot of nerve fucking my woman Shinichiro. Right in front of me.”
Shinchiro chuckled as he leaned down to your ear—stretching his arms to place his hands across your neck, squeezing it just right and not too tight, “ Little brother already claimed you huh? Benkei, how do you feel about this?” Benkei released your lips from his teeth since he was biting your lips as you moaned from the impact of Shinichiro’s hips smacking against yours at a steady and hard pace. Arashi’s cock was right in front of your face and you tried to reach to lick it but Shinichiro grabbed your hair and pulled your back depriving you of getting to lick his cock. You wanted to cry because you wanted him inside of your mouth so bad and Shinichiro was stopping you. Benkei gulped as he looked at you trying to suppress your moans and tears from falling out your eyes, “ She knows who she belongs with, so I feel good especially knowing that she’s choosing me after all of this is done.”
Soon after, Shinichiro pulled out and let Benkei take you to the couch that wasn’t sat on at all since Manjirou oddly enough had three couches in his living room. Once they did, you found yourself being spilt open by Wakasa and Benkei. Your hair was so messy from the hairstyle you had it in and your teary eyes were so watery that Takeomi almost felt bad for you as he fucked into your mouth, “ Mmmph, mmnnn, I cwn’tttmmmgh.” Double penetration was so hot and had you moaning like a bitch in heat. On top of that, Takeomi’s hair was down and sticking to his forehead so beautifully that you tried to keep eye contact with him as he pistol into your mouth with no care if your throat can take him, “ She’s so fucking pretty taking my dick down her throat like this, should frame it. So, Hanma get your ass over here to take a photo with your camera, you don’t mind right doll?” You tried to nod your head yes, but he just snapped his hips to your mouth causing you to gag loudly making the men inside of the living room groan and moan at your gags, “ my bad, thought you wanted more of my dick in you.” His pubic hairs were touching the sides of your mouth and nose from how deep he was inside of your mouth. And you loved it.
Benkei basked in the glory of your pussy taking all of his dick like a vixen at the same time of Wakasa fucking into your tight ass from above with one leg on the couch. Shinichiro was twisting your nipples causing more tears to fall because they still hurt from three days ago with the Haitani brothers sucking and playing with them. Benkei felt his dick getting wetter with your juices and moaned at the feeling of your warmth around him, “ Haven’t had pussy like this in a long ass time. Wanna get you pregnant so bad.” You moaned at his words because you were the most beautiful while pregnant and plus you loved the praise coming from him the most. It was him and Mitsuya praises that mean something to you. Wakasa gripped your neck with his hand, feeling Takeomi’s dick print moving in and out of you. Excitement from that, Wakasa happily plunged into your gaping ass, “ Say you want him to breed you, Princess. Wanna hear you loud and clear even if it’s through choked moans.” You shook your head, too embarrassed to say anything with a huge ass dick in your mouth slapping your uvula multiple times. Hanma was sitting on the other side of you taking pictures of this entire situation with a chilling smile on his face. Fuck, you looked so photogenic right now, well always really since he’s been taking pictures of you a lot lately.
Benkei and Wakasa slapped each of your cheeks with one of their hands creating more ripples and prints on your ass. You screamed and choked on Takeomi’s cock causing him to throw his head back in pure ecstasy, “ Fuck think m’bout to cum down her tight little throat.” Shinichiro tapped him as Benkei’s arms wrapped around your waist holding you in place as he pounded into you at a faster pace than before— Wakasa catching on and matching his pace. Their balls slapping against each other as they fucked into you, “ Let her speak a little but keep it in her mouth, wanna see her struggle to form words out her pretty, hot mouth.”
And he did just that, pulling half of his dick to hear Benkei now say it, “say you want us to breed you.” You moaned as you tried to bounce back on his cock, “ Wan’ you to brwwd meaaaa, I wanna cummmmh, want you cummmhhh.” Your words came out gibberish and you could tell it was filled with cock.
Shinichiro could tell you were enjoying yourself as if you never did, Wakasa did too which is why he spoke next, “ Would you look at that, the pretty princess acts like she never had cock this great in her entire life. Crying and slobbering everywhere while this pussy and ass gets stuffed to the brim. Seems like you all didn’t do your jobs.” Draken was the first to rebuttal, “ Fuck off, you old fuck.” Wakasa laughed and looked at him as he slapped your ass whilst holding eye contact with Draken to make him even more pissed. Wakasa's purple eyes grew more hazy as he trailed his fingers to your pudgy stomach, squeezing it causing you to squeal and choke on Takeomi’s cock causing him to cum deep inside of your throat from the vibrations of your coughs. Your hands tapped Takeomi’s thighs as he held your head while fucking his cum deep into your throat, “ Holy fuck! So fucking good f’me.”
Your vision was starting to see black spots as he held your head down. Snot was coming down your noise as much as your tears rolling down your face. God, you looked like a high class Slut. Their slut. Takeomi released you and you coughed immediately afterwards because you needed air especially since you were stuffed too much below and felt your lungs jump for air as he stuffed your mouth to the base of his cock. Takeomi and Shinichiro held your hair and tapped your cheek, Shinichiro laughed, “ So messy and pretty, so erotic and unreal as well.” Benkei fucked you with sweat rolling down his naked chest because his shirt was long discarded when he started fucking you. He could never get tired of fucking you, “ fuck!”, he moaned, not caring how he sounds, “ gonna”, feeling your pussy clench to him with a vice grip made him more feral, “ Cum inside”, Benkei lifted his hips into you, making you take all of his cock again, “ This”, your pussy was throbbing and melting his cock now, “ Pussy.”
Benkei came deep inside of you with a loud grunt of the word fuck stretch out. Soon as he did, your pussy started to make noises. Queefing noises, something you were embarrassed about yet everyone in the room knew one thing from that, you were enjoying yourself a lot more than they besides Wakasa thought. Even your cervix was moving back because of your pussy welcoming Benkei’s cum inside like no other. You couldn’t even moan because Wakasa was next to cum inside of you and with the way he rolled his hips and then snapped them into your ass was enough to leave you speechless and out of screams, “ Shit baby! Your hole wraps around my cock perfectly, couldn’t resist Cumming inside of this hole.”. Besides, you could feel your voice getting sore from how hard he was fucking it. You were breathing loudly as your cream on Arashi’s cock danced down his cock and his balls, the juices causing a funny feeling in between his ass cheeks, but he didn’t care especially with your tits in front of his face.
Shinichiro stood in Takeomi’s place with his cock out as he stroked it on your lips, “ Open, want you to take my load in your pretty little mouth, wish I could’ve came on your dreamy tits sticking out the side of that apron, but they’ll be for later.” You tiredly opened up your mouth to take his load and once his cum hit your tongue, it didn’t just hit that. His cum hit your chubby cheeks and forehead— dripping down now and surprisingly when you swallowed he tasted good, salty good, but not healthy due to cigarettes and beer. He turned to his brothers and their friends with a chibi smirk on his face, “ Guess we know which group is better. Just look at how tired and happy she is falling asleep on Arashi’s chest.”
Baji and Kazutora wanted to fight him because they both did the same thing with Chifuyu as well and Baji started to yell but was shushed by Benkei and Mitsuya. They stared at each other before nodding to one another afterwards. It’s obvious who you chose out of all of them.
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ᰔᩚ ━ Tagging: @highpri3stess @dejwrld @honeybleed @simpingfor-wakasa @mastermindenoshimaalicia @happygoluckyalexis @bontens-angel and anyone else who wants to be tagged
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gaysindistress · 3 months
Text
What if Simon didn’t listen when Price told him to apologize to his girl before she does go off and find herself a better man?
a/n: This is technically part two for this list. You could read them separately but I really think you should read them both so you can fully feel the angst.
non-mcu characters masterlist
Taglist: @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries this is one is for you girl
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Price stalks over to him and grabs him by the front of his vest, not caring that everyone can see what’s going on. “You call and apologize to her right now, ya hear me? It’s unacceptable for you to lie to her like that and I should have your balls for it. You fix it before she does go off and find herself a better man.”
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Now let’s say that when Simon got back, things were….different. You rarely fought but now you’re bickering about every little thing and having full on battles of the will that leave you crying in the bedroom while he’s storming out. The connection between you two feels strained and distant where’s before it was warm and comforting. You barely look at each other and sometimes you think he’s straight up ignoring you.
Even the dogs have started to notice that there’s something off about mom and dad. Most nights you’ll sleep alone with the dogs by your door while Simon is on the couch. It feels like they’re laying in wait, ready to spring into action if anything were to happen. They don’t go to him as much as they did before and your female dog, Echo, refuses to leave your side. She’s become glued to you while your other dog, Zade, keeps you within eyesight at all times. It really pisses Simon off because Zade is supposed to be his dog and the mutt won’t even look at him (Simon’s words, not yours).
It all comes to a head though one night when Simon is trying to get Zade to come with him on a walk and the dog just stares at him. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t blink. He just stares into Simon’s soul and judges him for how he’s been treating you.
“Zade! Come here now!” Simon grumbles in a half shout but the dog doesn’t move a muscle. You’re in the bedroom with Echo at your feet and she glances over at you with a look that says ‘let’s go’.
What happened next is a blur. Echo barely makes it into the living room before she’s growling and placing herself between you and Simon. Zade is up and stalking closer to his sister’s side while Simon is growing more and more angry. You don’t think you even had the time to say anything before Echo and Zade tackle Simon to the ground. You know they wouldn’t hurt him but it’s still a terrifying sight and you’re doing everything you can to get the dogs off of him. You manage to get them off but they refuse to go to their kennels and keep tucked behind you, still ready to protect you if needed.
“Simon, oh my god are you okay?” You ask him in a panicked and high pitched voice as you try to help him up. He shoves your hands off of him and accidentally uses too much force which sends you to stumbling into the dogs.
Everything is absolute chaos with his anger, the dogs trying to protect you, and now you’re crying while trying not to tell him off. At this point you grab the dogs by their collars and pull them away as tears are streaming down your face. When they hear your sniffles, they immediately give into you and let you pull them to the bedroom. You don’t hear Simon as you start to pack as much as you can. The weeks of being on edge have finally gotten to you and you’re done.
You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who isn’t willing to communicate with you.
You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who used to be the most loving and devoted man you’ve ever met but now he can’t acknowledge your presence.
You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who’s come so far and has forgiven himself for the things he’s done but now he’s slipping back into his old self destructive ways.
You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who can’t be honest with himself and admit that he’s wrong.
You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who’s become Ghost.
You’ve tried having faith in him after he broke up with you but it’s rotting you from the inside out. It’s eating away at your heart, gnawing at your ribs with your flesh stuck in its teeth. This faith is liquifying the kindness and patience you once had. It’s changing you into an anxious shell of a coward who can’t stand up for yourself. Change is alright but this is not. This change is making you cruel and hopeless while it waits for you to become a faithless savage who devours whatever light touches you.
It’s only when you come back into the living room with your bags packed and the dogs ready to go that Simon says something to you.
He questions what you’re doing.
He doesn’t apologize.
“I’m leaving. We’ll figure out everything tomorrow,” you tell him as you find your keys.
“What do you mean?”
You stop. You stare at the front door with completely blank eyes. They flicker to him over your shoulder.
“I’m leaving you. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can figure out how to make it a clean break then.”
He doesn’t say a word. Neither do you after that.
He lets you walk out the door. You don’t ask him to fight for you either.
He lets you leave him. You don’t turn back either.
You meant to drive to your friend’s place but somewhere on the way there you pull over and cry until you feel like you’re going to pass out. Zade and Echo watch from the backseat of your car with their heads on your center console. They want to comfort you but there’s not exactly room for two 100 pound dogs in the front seat so they stay put. Your friend calls you frantically because she’s not home but tells you that you should come meet her wherever she’s at. As nice as it might be to get away, it’s not appealing to you at the moment so you call the only other person you know you’d be comfortable with right now.
A part of you knows it’s a mistake to call him and if Simon finds out, he might very well almost kill his captain a third time. The other part of you knows that John would be understanding and the calm presence that you want right now. He already checks on you regularly so would it be a huge surprise if you showed up on his doorstep?
As if he’s been waiting for this moment, John already has a guest room for you and has the back door open for the dogs to run around outside. They’ve met him before so they feel more secure with leaving your side although they both give him a warning look.
Now it’s important to remember that the entire time you’ve known John, you’ve been with Simon. John thinks himself a gentleman, albeit a bit gruff, but a gentleman no less so you’ve been off limits. Obviously he can’t ignore the initial attraction he felt towards you because you are an utterly breathtaking person and it would be impossible to not notice that. He’s tried to lock away the yearning that tugs at the marrow in his bones when he sees you but it’s difficult. It’s like asking a dog to stop begging; they might listen for a moment but they go back to it within seconds. Also during the course of your friendship, he’s come to know the absolute amazing person that you are and seen that you have the kindness soul he’s ever known. It didn’t used to hurt when he saw you but after that night you texted him to keep Simon safe after he broke up with you, it’s damn near unbearable. Simon told you to find yourself a better man and John knows he could be that man. He wants to be that man but only if you come to him. He won’t approach you or even hint at it with you. It needs to be you who seeks him out. It needs to be you who wants him. It needs to be you who asks him to be that man otherwise John would never be able to forgive himself if it all went wrong.
Nothing happens that night or at all for that matter during your stay with John. It was meant to only be a few days but with losing your house so suddenly and trying to navigate a world Post Simon, it ends up being a few weeks. You feel awful about it and promise that you’ll be gone as soon as you can. John always laughs it off and tells you to stay as long as you need. Secretly he’s growing accustomed to your calming presence and gentle ways. He adores how thoughtful you are when you have to work early and barely make a sound. He appreciates how you make him a plate and leave it in the fridge if he comes home late. He’s thankful that you’re comfortable enough with him to tell him about everything that’s going on.
John made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t bring up anything unless you said something first. Even when he wants desperately to know why you’re crying when you came back from Simon’s tonight, he won’t. Instead he offers you a cup of tea, a warm blanket, and some space while he busies himself in his shop outside. It absolutely destroys him to even think about leaving you alone in the living room but it’s the right thing to do.
Just as he’s getting ready to leave, your small voice stops him.
“Can…can you stay?” It’s unusual for you to not be confident in your words. It causes him to freeze to hear the uncertainty. “If..if you want.”
He smiles at the ground before turning to look at you and nod. You’re curled into a ball on the couch with your dogs at your feet but there’s space for him next to you. You lean away from the arm of the couch and he takes the hint. Settling into the space between you and couch, he tosses his arm over the back and lets you decide how to proceed. Against your logical head, you tuck yourself into his side with yours pulled around yourself and your head on his shoulder. His fingers itch to play with the ends of your hair but they stay tightly closed around the couch cushion.
“Thank you…for everything.”
“No need for that.” He murmurs with bated breath. He knows you can feel the tension, how could you not when you’re practically laying on his chest?
“One day you’re going to accept my thanks. It might not be tomorrow or the day after, but you will,” you say with a snort. He says that every single time and you reply with the same phrase every time as well.
John’s hand betrays him and starts to play with the very ends of your hair. You feel it just like you felt his strained breathing. It’s strange to feel affection from anyone else but from him, it’s…. welcomed. You don’t acknowledge it and he knows that you’re doing that for his own sake.
“Maybe,” he tosses back and his breath catches when you move closer to him. Your arm moves to wrap around his waist and stills when he tenses. It’s your silent way of asking for consent to hold him. “Love,” he starts and moves his hand away from your hair.
You move to look at him, resting your chin on his shoulder. He’s looking at you with such tenderness and warmth it makes your stomach flip.
“Do you have feelings for me?” You ask him directly, unwilling to be tossed around again. It’s abrasive and you know there’s a better way to have asked but it gets straight to the point.
John looks sick and a tight lipped smile pulls across his face as he tries to come up with an answer. “I…love I think you need to rest. There’s been a…”
“No. Answer the question.”
He glances down at your lips and that’s telling enough.
“Now isn’t the right time,” he whispers more to himself than to you. “You’ve just gone through…”
Cutting him off, you say firmly, “and that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”
He can only stare at you with half lidded eyes and pray that he doesn’t break in front of you. His resolve is crumbling and it’s only thanks to his military service that he’s not throwing himself at you.
“I told him it’s over.”
John tries to interrupt you but you silence him with a pointed look. “I told him that I will always love him but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him anymore. I won’t wait around for him to figure his life out. I don’t deserve that. I deserve a man who knows what he wants and will communicate with me.”
Honestly it feels like his world is crumbling around him. You’re here snuggled into his chest and saying all these things which he knows what they mean but he can’t believe that you know what they mean. He can’t trust his own understanding of you and believe that you’d mean that.
“I need you to tell me what you want…now.”
You.
He wants you. More than anything in the world, John Price wants you and you’re asking him to confess that secret.
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clbrq · 6 months
Text
I HATE YOU— C. BROCK.
prompt; you and colby have never gotten along. you always bickered and never saw eye to eye. so, when your friendship group plans a trip that he’s invited to—you make it your life’s purpose to keep as far away from him as possible. although, that plan does down the drain when you have to share a room for 2 weeks..
warnings; SMUT, p in v sex, rough sex, unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, mentions of angst and arguing, cursing/swearing, enemies to lovers trope.
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“Oh, how fucking great.”
The words fell past his lips faster than your brain could compute what the flight attendant was telling you.
A loud sigh fell past your lips as you thanked her and continued walking to your seat. Colby was slow to follow.
It was bad enough that you were going on a group trip together, let alone having to sit next to each other on a five hour flight. You knew he was in a bad mood regardless due to his lack of sleep, and you knew your presence wasn’t making it any better.
You and Colby have never got along. You don’t know when it started, but you’ve never connected. At the start, you wouldn’t engage much and just stay out of each others way. But now, you fought, a lot. Your friends loved to compare you to a married couple—that really pissed you two off. You don’t really have a reason as to why you dislike Colby so much, you just do. Something about him just irritates you—whether it’s his ridiculous hair, or whining about not having a girlfriend, or how stupid rich he was. And you weren’t sure why Colby didn’t like you, but you didn’t care—the feelings were mutual.
So, when your best friend, Katrina, floated the idea of a group trip a few months ago, you were sparked with excitement. Until you realised Colby would be joining. And even better, the people coming on his trip were couples—besides you and Colby. How fabulous.
As you got comfortable in your window seat, you gazed out it with a comfortable smile on your face—trying to ignore the shuffles and huffs of annoyance from beside you.
“Do you wanna take up anymore room?”
Turning your head to face him, a smirk formed on your face as you locked eyes with him, “Yeah, sure.” You teased, pushing your legs out next to his.
With a harsh kick, Colby moved your legs back to under your seat, grabbing his headphones and placing them in his ears, “Don’t talk to me for the entire flight.” He stated, shutting his eyes and leaning his head back against the chair.
“Finally, something smart coming out of your mouth.” You mumbled, turning back to face the window.
The flight was peaceful, you got up once to go to the bathroom—having to disturb Colby which only lead to a small argument. Mixed with having to ignore the dirty looks he shot you when you returned to your seat.
“How was it?” Katrina asked, slinging her carry-on bag over her shoulder as you exited the plane.
“Take a wild guess.” You spoke sarcastically, raising your eyebrows at her. Katrina chuckled quietly, knowing the answer without you even having to tell her.
The bus ride to the hotel was short—almost everybody dozed off while they waited to arrive. Katrina happily rested her head on your shoulder as she snored, not noticing the way you huffed angrily as you listened to Colby complain about how you awoke him on the flight.
God, he was an ass.
“Alright, this is us.” Sam spoke, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, grabbing Katrina’s arm gently and rocking her awake.
The hotel was beautiful. Large, white pillars rose up from the ground guarding the fancy double doors to the entrance that remained open due to the heat. Surrounding the hotel were trees and plants, paired with colourful flowers—contrasting the white of the walls.
“It’s beautiful.” Colby spoke, admiring the hotel with his ocean, blue eyes.
“I know I am, but thanks anyways, Colbs.” You winked, turning around to shoot him a smug look.
Colby rolled his eyes in irritation, “Don’t flatter yourself. And don’t call me that.”
“Okay, Colbs.”
“God, you’re insufferable.” Colby breathed, shaking his head in annoyance.
“Please, can we have one nice holiday without you guys fighting?” Sam snapped, raising his eyebrows at the two of you.
“Sorry.” You both mumbled in unison, trying to please your friend. But, not enough to slyly shoot each other a dirty look as you entered the hotel.
“Hi, I have four rooms booked under the name Golbach.” Sam smiled sweetly at the receptionist as the rest of the group trailed behind.
“That’s fine, I’ve got it all paid for and set up for you.” She smiled, “So, I’ve got a Corey and Devyn in one room, then a Sam and Katrina in another.” She started handing the couples their room keys, “Then a Jake and Tara, and finally a Y/N and Colby.”
Silence.
“Nope. That’s not happening.” Colby stated, a foul expression on his face.
“Is there a problem?” The receptionist frowned.
“Yeah, we cannot be within two feet of each other without an argument.”
The receptionist laughed, “Oh, I get it. Me and my husband are like that too.”
“No, no, no.” You laughed, “We are not…We will never be…” You trailed off, suddenly feeling like lies were spilling from your lips.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She chuckled, nervously, “But, unfortunately, in case of an emergency, I cannot change the arrangements of the rooms. I’m so sorry.”
Colby sighed loudly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, you rolled your eyes at his immaturity, “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Thank you.”
Grabbing the key card for the room, you wheeled your suitcase towards the room, feeling utter disappointment. You knew your holiday would now be ruined due to Colby. He would be complaining about every little thing you did, and you couldn’t help but bite back.
The room was huge. Large hallway leading up into the living area, with a 60 inch flat screen TV and rectangular coffee table in front of it. Next door rested a modernised and perfectly furnished kitchen with a marble top island in the centre.
You and Colby walked around the room in silence as you observed the beautiful room. As you walked down a small hallway, your heart raced with anxiety as you made it to the bedroom. There was only one room left, meaning that there was only one bedroom. You prayed it was double beds on opposites sides of the room.
Colby strolled slowly behind you as you pushed open the door. Your heart dropped at the sight.
Rose petals in the shape of a heart laid across the double bed, paired with others scattered across the floor leading up to it. In the corner of the room were red balloons in the shape of hearts and “Happy Holiday!” written across them. To push things further, a bottle of Champagne and two glasses rested on a circular table next to the balcony glass doors.
“Well, fuck.” Colby chuckled, “If only they knew.”
“If only they knew what?” You spat, waiting for the insult to hit you.
“That you were such a bitch, they wouldn’t have gone to all this effort.” He smirked, walking over to the bed and playing with the roses.
Ignoring his comment, you trudged towards the Champagne, popping it open and pouring yourself a glass. You sighed happily as the bubbly beverage slipped down your throat—hopefully this would calm your anger.
You and Colby didn’t speak another word the rest of the day. The others had sent a few messages to the group chat discussing dinner later in the evening, but other than that—nothing. Colby relaxed in the living area as you prepared yourself for the dinner. You elegantly did your makeup—your skin looking flawless, and your lips looking pink and plump. You then curled your gorgeous, silky hair, letting it rest comfortably on your chest as you slipped on your dress.
And by God, did you look good.
Your breasts were accentuated perfectly and your ass popped deliciously. You knew you’d get some attention tonight, and you were excited. But maybe not by who you were expecting.
Your heels clicked satisfyingly against the floor as you approached the living area. Colby was sat on the couch, phone in hand, in a suit as he scrolled endlessly. He looked up once to acknowledge your presence, before returning to his phone.
Not long after, his head snapped back towards you, a shocked expression on his face as you adjusted your coat, “What?” You spat.
Colby stared for a few seconds longer before plastering a smirk on his face, “Slutty as always.”
“Fuck you.” You seethed, glaring at him as he sauntered over to you.
“You wish, sweetheart.” He whispered, teasingly tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear.
Pulling your head away from you, you pushed his chest, forcing him back slightly, “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”
Taking a deep breath, you swung open the front door as you walked into the hallway. You could not deal with him tonight, you wanted to have a nice night and not be bothered by his rude remarks. Luckily, your meal with your friends was unbothered by Colby as he sat at the opposite end of the table. Thank God.
“You coming to the club?” Tara questioned as you exited the restaurant.
“Fuck yeah.” You grinned, “I wanna get fucked up tonight.”
“Easy tiger.” Sam chuckled from behind you, “Remember who you’re sharing a room with.”
“What about it?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.
Sam shook his head, “Doesn’t matter.” He mumbled, turning around to engage in conversation with the boys.
Weird.
The club was busy tonight. Typical for a Friday night, though. People were everywhere—dancing, drinking and singing. Just like you.
You were 5 drinks deep and you were hammered. The buzz you felt was beyond tipsy—you knew you were a lightweight, but not this bad. Yeah, maybe the fancy dinner had unbelievable portion sizes, but the Vodka here was something else.
As a familiar song began to play, you gasped in excitement as you grasped Katrina and Tara’s arms as you grinned at Devyn in front of you. The music flowed through your body as the rhythm picked up. The beat took over your body as you moved to the music.
You were thoroughly enjoying yourself when a pair of large hands slithered around your waist. A certain brunette asshole strangely made it’s way into your mind as you turned around, but you were, unfortunately, met with a stranger.
“Hey, beautiful.” The tall mousey brunette smirked down at you, “Care to dance?”
Feeling extremely drunk and dangerously cheeky, you agreed. Your hips moving sensually against his as he gripped your waist while you danced. Your eyes wondered over to the bar where your four male friends stood, watching over you and your friends. Your eyes locked with Colby’s and, more specifically, the angry look on his face.
A devilish smirk crept its way up on your lips, an evil idea making its way into your mind. Bending over, you couldn’t help but grind on the strange man behind you, watching as Colby’s face dropped even further at your action.
You ignored the cheers from your friends as you retained the eye contact with Colby as you flipped your hair over your shoulder to glance back at the very obviously aroused man. But, before you could even utter another word, you’re pulled upright and away from the dance floor.
“Dude, what the fuck?” The guy called after you, a confused expression on his face.
“Get the fuck away from her.” Colby growled towards him, shooting him a look of pure rage, one you’d never seen before. His cheeks were pink from the alcohol he’d consumed and the anger that flooded through him.
Colby swivelled back around and pulled you out of the club by your arm, his grip harsh as he did so. He didn’t utter a single word as he pushed you inside the hotel room.
“Colby..” You mumbled in a quiet voice, not knowing what to say.
“Shut up.” He spat, not turning around to face as you as he dragged you inside the bedroom and slamming the door.
“What did you do that—Mmf!” Your words were cut short when you were slammed against the wall.
“Y’know, it’s one thing to constantly be a bitch and piss me off,” Colby started, his arms above your head as he seethed above you, “But it’s another to grind on some fucking prick in front of me like I’m some sort of joke.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” You fired back, “It’s not like we’re together, Colby? I can do whatever the fuck I like.”
“Oh, is that right?” Colby laughed, darkly, “No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said, no.” He smouldered, “You don’t get to do that around me.”
“And why’s that, Colby? Please, enlighten me, because you sound out of your fucking mind right now.”
Before you knew it, Colby’s lips were smushed against yours in a passionate kiss. You gasped into his mouth as you melted against his lips, your hands resting comfortably on his muscled arms as his laid against your warm neck. Colby grasped the underside of your thighs and pulled you off the ground, wrapping your legs around his hips.
“Colby..” You moaned breathily as his plump lips attacked your neck, “I need you.”
“Of course you do, who wouldn’t?” He teased, pulling your back off the wall and leading you both towards the bed.
“Seriously? You can’t stop being an ass even before we’re about to have sex?”
Colby chuckled from above as you laid in the rose petals beneath you, “You know, if you shut that slutty mouth for once, you’d be so pretty.”
“So I’m not already?” You fired back, shooting him a dirty look as he crawled between your legs.
“Shut up, Y/N.” He ordered, a shit-eating grin on his face as he leaned down to kiss you once more.
Colby wasted no time in stripping you of your clothes, chucking them on the floor along with his own as he continued to kiss you desperately. As Colby pulled your soaked panties off your legs, his lips slowly made their way down to your exposed breasts—his mouth finding it’s way around your mounds beautifully.
Quiet moans slipped past your lips as his hand trailed down to your core, your breathing quickening as he did so. His nimble fingers found themselves comfortably circling your aching clit, making you feel the smile against his lips as he kissed your neck. Your back arched off the bed in pure pleasure as he slipped a finger inside you, wanting nothing more than to scream out as he curled them upwards to hit your sweet spot.
“Please.” You moaned, grasping his forearm tightly as you scrunched your face up in pleasure.
Soon enough, Colby pushed your legs up and onto his shoulders, his tip teasingly rubbing against your soaked entrance. With a few whines and whimpers of desperation, Colby swiftly pushed his cock deep inside you. As a shocked moan rasped from your throat, he sped up his hips as he rocked his throbbing dick in and out of you.
“Oh, yes, don’t stop!” You sobbed, tears falling past your eyes as he pushed your legs further back to reach deeper inside your slutty pussy.
“Jesus, why didn’t I do this sooner?” He mumbled, his cheeks flared red as he huffed with each thrust.
Colby quickly got bored as he pulled out and flipped you on your stomach, pulling your ass into the air and slipping back into your warm hole. You gripped the bedsheets as he ruthlessly destroyed you from behind, degrading names filling the room as he spoke. You crumbled petals in your fists as you clung onto the bed for life, Colby showing no mercy as he fucked you.
“You’re such a whore, aren’t you?” Colby spat, yanking your hair back as your ear met his lips, “You’ve been begging for me to fuck for years now, haven’t you?”
“Yes! yes, yes, Colby. Wanted you for—Aah! for so long.” You blabbered, your throat feeling sore and dry from all the screaming that erupted from it.
“What a good girl—finally.” He praised, letting your hair loose as your head hit the sheets once more, feeling the pleasure build up in your stomach as his fingers deliciously rubbed your clit, “Fuck, I’m close.”
Before you could realise, Colby was cumming deep inside you as your own orgasm hit. His name released itself from your lips countless times as he fucked his load further inside you. As you came down from your high of ecstasy, Colby pulled out of you slowly, falling next to you on the bed.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He mumbled, his eyes staring intensely at the ceiling as he regained his breath, “That was something.”
“It sure was.” You murmured back, feeling a sense of awkwardness fill the air, as you coughed nervously, “I’m gonna go shower.”
But, before you could even move, Colby’s arms slid around your waist and pulled you close to his warm body. A smile rose to your face as he spooned you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
“We can get to that later.” He informed you, nuzzling his head into your neck as he closed his eyes, “And don’t worry, we can go back to hating each other in the morning.”
-
HEYY
its been a while i’m sorry!
i’ll probably be posting less but i won’t ghost y’all i promise
i love you all sm
@paymal7
@samandcolby-ownme
@peachhiz
@morchilluv
@iwanttoberich420
@reem6806
@cam1ly
@lovely-red2
@ilymusic27
@nanascupid
@xosugardoll
@m-maxie-ie
@theyloveniqueeeee
@whicked-hazlatwhore
@camille-1019
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
Text
Realising I maybe don’t actually like my supposed ‘best’ friend
#like i’m not saying i hate her or anything it’s just. i see a notification coming in from her whether it’s a text or a call#and i just get annoyed. half of the things she does piss me off#her complete lack of time management is infuriating to me; the fact that she’s a doormat for every single goddamn person in her life#the way she wants to be liked SO BADLY by complete random people and honest-to-god assholes… like i have that problem sometimes as well#but i’m significantly better at saying ‘no’ and also when it’s absolutely necessary ‘fuck off with your jesus pamphlets’#and also i don’t think i’ve ever really forgotten the way she cosied up to my bullies back in high school. there was this girl#who was threatening me and stealing from me and outright pushing me around & g was best friends with this girl’s sister who abetted her#and the whole group spread vile rumours about me and used to gossip about me loudly (to the point where i could hear them)#and g would gossip about me as well. and she’s apologised since then but she’s still friends or at least associated#with most of those people and i don’t think i’ve ever really forgiven her for selling me down the river for an ounce of social capital#which like. these girls were losers as well. they were just a group of losers rather than one lone loser like me#like congrats you got into the sad girls clique and bullied the nerd girl. for why though#and i still don’t get why they wouldn’t let me in or why they hated me so much. i would’ve fit right in. and yeah this was ten years ago#but i’m still mad. sue me#like she literally could’ve put in a good word for me but instead she contributed to the already hard time i was going through and i know#i Know i should forgive and forget. but i can’t shake the conviction that she would absolutely do something similar#and the fact that my friend group welcomed her with open arms and she’s still friends with some of them to this day. i don’t think she even#realises tbh. like hello… i gave you two lifelong friendships. i’m not saying you had to force your friends to like me in return#but like at least do the bare minimum of calling them off. those girls made me want to kill myself#and she also does this thing where if a guy likes me instead of her she takes it soooo personally and has to date him#and i’m just like. i’m attracted to men literally about once a year. i did not want to fuck andy the farmer#also he just offered to walk me home and i looked him up and down; laughed and said ‘you’re what i need to be protected from mate’#you were consoling him if anything. and will the fuckboy?? don’t make me laugh. he only hit on her because i started blatantly#playing candy crush when he tried to talk to me#tl;dr uhhhh when and how do i end a 16 year deeply codependent friendship. lol#personal#*complicating factors: i am the only person in her daughter’s life who is not an idiot. i love her daughter and want to be a good aunty#also she lives literally 0.2km away from me and the only other friends i have are an ex-colleague and my other best friend who lives in WA#and my old flatmate who i don’t really talk to anymore#i really need to like. artifically resurrect some friendships if i’m going to go through with this
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xo-cori · 8 months
Note
ok but get this
ellie is definitely the type to fall asleep while eating you out. gently tapping her head and you cant help but laugh. shes so cute resting her head on your thigh, completely pussy drunk that it made her so sleepyyyy
ok im done.
opiate this hazy head of mine
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pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: no matter how tired she may be, she just can’t get enough of you.
warnings: smut (MDNI), slight overstim, brief mention of a minor injury, ellie snoozin
a/n: stop this is so cute. ellie b like… eat sleep repeat
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Your eyes shoot up from the book in your lap when you hear the door to the room open, knowing exactly who it is before you even see her face.
It’s at least midnight and it’s almost painful how exhausted you are, but you’d made a habit out of waiting for your girlfriend to get home from patrol before ever going to sleep. As much as you assure her that it’s only because you want to be there for her after such a long day, you know deep down that your own anxieties play a big part in it. Every time she passes the gates to Jackson, there’s a little voice in your head reminding you that this could be the time she never makes it back.
She does, though. Every time. Your luck has been grand so far.
You smile as she trudges over to the bed, flopping down onto the mattress, breathing in the scent of the freshly washed sheets. You set your book down on the nightstand. “Long time, no see.”
“Too long.” Ellie groans, crawling up the bed until she’s settled between your legs, cheek pressing against your upper chest.
You wrap your arms around her and place a kiss on her frizzy hair. “Agreed,” you mumble, “but you know the rules. No outside clothes on the bed.”
Her chest puffs up before she lets out an exasperated sigh. “Come on. You can’t make an exception for me?”
“Not really, since the rule is specifically for you.” You gently push on her shoulders to make her sit up, which she does hesitantly. “Come on. The faster you change, the faster we can go to sleep.”
Ellie grumbles as she scoots to the edge of the bed so she can get to work with unlacing her shoes. While she does that, you stand up to retrieve the pajamas that you had laid out for her; a big, grey t-shirt and one of her many pairs of black boyshorts. You walk over to her and slip her shirt off over her head. “Oh, Els,” you sigh, reaching out to see that she’s got a bruise on her shoulder. It’s a big one and it’s already dark, a pretty mix of purple and yellow. “How’d you get that?”
“Kinda embarrassing, actually– I ran into this tree branch that was sticking through a window. It doesn’t really hurt as long as I don’t move my arm.” She shrugs.
You shake your head as you move down to start unbuttoning her jeans, which are just utterly filthy. Blood, dirt, and some other nasty shit that you don’t wanna know about; you aren’t exactly a clean freak, but you’d be caught dead before letting her stay in these clothes any longer than she has to. You pull her jeans down along with her underwear and pass her the pajamas. “I’m gonna go get a washcloth.”
As you walk away, you toss her dirty clothes into the laundry basket before wetting a rag with warm water in the bathroom, then taking a seat next to her on the bed. She’s already got her pajamas on and is rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes.
“Fuck, I’m tired.” She practically whispers.
You pick up her arm and run the washcloth over any bits of dirt that lingered on her skin. “I know,” you hum, “just want you to be comfortable.”
Ellie watches you clean her off with a focused care, handling her like a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. If it were anyone else, she would’ve gotten pissed off at how weak it makes her feel. But you aren’t anybody else. You’re the only person who can break down those walls she put up with nothing but a washcloth and a fresh pair of pajamas.
When you’re done, you just throw the rag on the bedside table and crawl back up the bed, motioning for her to follow you, which she does without a second thought. She lands herself in the same position as before, just a but cleaner this time; ear pressed to your heartbeat, sighing contently when she feels your arms wrap around her. “Yeah, this is pretty damn comfortable.” She says, though her voice is muffled by your shirt.
“Worth the thirty seconds it took for you to get changed?” You wonder, the snarky tone not making its way past Ellie.
She lifts her head to look at you with a huff. “You’re a lot prettier when you aren’t talking, you know that?”
You reach up to jokingly push her face away from you, but she takes it as an opening to latch onto your neck, chapped lips peppering kisses across your pulse point. Both of you know what that means, and you’d like to stop it before it goes too far. “Oh– Ellie, I think we should go to sleep,”
She hums against your throat, a quiet mm-mmm that shows her determination to finish what she’s started, regardless of how tempted she is by sleep. You sigh out in both disapproval and pleasure; a hypocritical combination that she pretends not to notice. Before you know it, her hands are sneaking under the fabric of your shirt, calloused fingers brushing over the soft skin on either side of your stomach. “You’re a pain in my ass.” You mutter.
Her only response is a quick bite to your neck, causing you to gasp and dig your fingers into her back, but she’s already moving down your body before you can react. Her hands smooth their way to the waistband of your bottoms, which happen to be a pair of her own boxers, she realizes with a smirk. “Come on. You put on my boxers and expected me to not get all hot and bothered?”
“Don’t ever say ‘hot and bothered’ again, but yeah– I know what makes you tick.” You reply honestly. She just rolls her eyes as she quickly pulls them down your legs, helping you kick them off to the floor. Not only can she already smell you, but the sight is enough to make her mind go blank. How are you already so wet? Had you been expecting this?
Her eyes momentarily flicker over to the book you’d placed on the nightstand and sees that it’s a familiar one; the one with a few portions questionable enough that you hurriedly stuff into one of the drawers before Joel or any of your friends come to visit. She grins at the realization. “Holy shit, you’re all hot and bothered too, huh?”
Before you’re even able to come up with another response, perhaps berate her for using that damn phrase again, you feel Ellie’s thumb swipe through your folds to bring some wetness up to your clit so that she can rub it in slow circles. Your hands grab onto the sheets and your legs fall open, making more room for her to lay between them comfortably. “Yeah, you are. Jeez.”
As turned on as you are, you can’t help but worry for her a bit; this is probably the latest she’s come back from a patrol, and if Maria hadn’t lectured her yet, she would definitely be in for it tomorrow. The dim yellow light from the lamp next to the bed gives you a clear view of those bags beneath her eyes, too, as she looks up at you like it doesn’t even phase her.
“Maybe, but you’re tired,” you whine, reaching down to stroke her freckled cheek with your thumb.
“Are you?” She asks.
You tuck some loose hair behind her ear. “No, but still, you–”
Much to your surprise (the best kind, you hate to admit), Ellie cuts you off by replacing her thumb with her tongue, immediately latching onto your twitching clit like it’s her sworn duty. Your hips jump as you gasp, taken aback by the sudden rush of pleasure that courses through you. Her quiet moans don’t do much to help. That hand on her cheek quickly comes up to grab her hair, clearly unsure whether you should pull her away or tug her closer. Either way, she doesn’t budge. You knew she wouldn’t.
Though it still feels good, way too good, you notice the tiredness creeping up on Ellie while she exhausts her last bits of energy into eating you out– slowly, more messy than usual, which is a welcome change. Little do you know, the only thing keeping her from completely dozing off is the feeling of your fingers tugging her hair (and the way your taste melts on her tongue like honey).
Due to this change in pace, it’s easier for you to keep your legs open wide for her, not exactly having the energy to struggle whatsoever and not wanting to tire her any more than she already is. If this is what she chooses to help her relax, then so be it; you’re getting something out of it too, after all.
A few minutes go by before you’re weakly crying out her name. “Els, I’m close,” you say, “just like that, okay? Oh, fuck,”
Ellie gives a tired smile as she pushes one finger into your clenching hole, softly curling it upwards into that spot that knocks the air out of you every single time. That’s all it takes to push you over the edge.
Your hand falls from her head and seeks out her free hand, twining your fingers together as she lets you ride out a gentle, quivering orgasm– but she doesn’t stop there. Of course she doesn’t.
It takes you a moment to process that she hasn’t stopped, even after removing her finger from inside of you. Her tongue is relentless as ever despite the ache in her bones telling her that her time is up.
“Ellie–” You hardly whine out, cut by a gasp. Still, though, you don’t make any attempt to fight back. You just squirm and cry as she licks up the mess she’s made of you with no regard for your sensitivity. It isn’t because she’s feeling mean, though. Just one glance down at her is all it takes for you to understand that she’s really just out of it.
You squeeze her hand each time she moans into you, the once pleasurable vibrations becoming torturous. Not before long, though, those moans turn to whines, then huffs, until you feel her head go limp against your thigh as she licks you one last time before letting out a low hum.
Relief floods you when you think she might just be done for the night
That is, until you look down once more and see that she’s completely knocked out.
Your eyes widen. Her lips glisten in the little bit of light in her room, her hands resting on your hips, cheek smushed against your shivering inner thigh. It’s a beautiful sight, really, but the context makes you want to crawl out of your skin.
Cautiously, you shake your leg, jostling her head and watching her brows furrow at the disturbance. “Ellie.”
Her squinted eyes finally flutter open and meet yours, obviously still well aware of her situation. “What, can’t a girl get some shut-eye around here?” She groans.
You shake your leg again before she can nuzzle back into it, which is her cue to hesitantly crawl up to your side, bringing the blanket over the both of you before wrapping an arm around your waist and burying her face into the warm crook of your neck. “Better?” Ellie questions muffledly.
You reach over to run your fingers through her (now messy) hair, successfully easing her sleepy state of irritation. “Much better, sleeping beauty.”
Though you expect your tease to be met with a dirty look or at least a snarky comment in return, you’re met with a very telling silence. Then, that big exhale Ellie always does whenever she’s completely fallen asleep.
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spacedace · 2 months
Text
Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help
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Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.
The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.
Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.
The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.
That social worker.
“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.
“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”
He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”
“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”
Nightingale frowned a little at that.
“Is that what people are saying?”
“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”
“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”
“You wanted to work here.”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.”
Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.
She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?
Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.
“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.
“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”
She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”
Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”
Jason considered her.
Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.
It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.
Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.
For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.
And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.
He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.
“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”
“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”
Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.
“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”
Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.
“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”
Oh.
Those.
“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”
He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.
“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”
Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.
“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”
Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.
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hyuckswoman · 2 months
Text
mark and you arguing pt2
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pt1
genre: angst then fluff
summary: after rain comes sunshine, he finally listens.
pairing: mark x y/n
“good morning” you say to your boyfriend as you pass through the kitchen reaching into a cabinet to take out a glass 
last night had been tense, because of the argument you had a really hard time sleeping, waking up every five seconds. it didn’t help that your boyfriend was the exact same, the only difference between you two being the guilty look on his face
you wanted nothing more than to tell him to forget about it and just cuddle him to sleep because being mad at him or more like emotionally tired wasn’t easy. yes, he fucked up but he’s still the greenest of green flags ever and you just love him too much so being apart with all those angsty feelings was taking a toll on you
but you decided to stand your ground nonetheless, it couldn’t be like every other time where he swooned you with his words and you ended up forgiving him. he had to learn. and even on your end, it’d be fucked up to put yourself through this. so when you woke up this morning with no one next to you, you decided to not care. turns out he was just in the kitchen though
“good morning lovely, i tried to make breakfast, i couldn’t so i went and bought some, your favorite of course, i’m just reheating it right now, juice is in the fridge by the way” your boyfriend greeted you, his back facing you (which you 100% guarantee is because he’s shitting his pants and hopes the tension eased) 
it did not though
“not only did you call me bitchy yesterday, you also said some dumb ass thing about if you were with her.. mark you’re not dumb you damn well that it’s going to take more than breakfast to ease things with me, don’t piss me off so early in the morning please” you said pouring water into your glass, getting out of the kitchen. you and mark took pride in your communication skills, so you weren’t giving him the silent treatment more like you didn’t want to be in the same room as him right now because him acting as if nothing happened pissed you off even more 
the guy was going to have to practically beg for you to be okay with him again 
“..i know, and i’m sorry” mark sighed as he joined you in the living room with the food he bought earlier hoping that despite you not being happy with him, you’d still eat cause no matter how bad the situation is, it’s important to take care of yourself! 
“like i said yesterday, i heard you mark but you know.. actions speak louder than words, until we’ve reached a point where she won’t ever be the cause of a disagreement there’s always going to be some sort of tension” you said as you reached for the food. yes, the food wasn’t an enough apology but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it 
“i know, that’s why i’m going to see her later today, set some real boundaries, tell her off kind of because i do really- and i’m not just saying this to please you or whatever, she has crossed some boundaries that she shouldn’t have so yeah maybe her and i aren’t as close friends as i thought we were” your boyfriend says pouring your favorite juice into your now empty water cup 
first of all, you did appreciate your boyfriend doing all of that (FINALLY!!) but you weren’t going to explode with joy because of him doing the bare minimum 
second of all, your boyfriend is just as much in the wrong as she is. and you debated on telling him that he should also self reflect but decided that you truly wanted him to realize it without you spelling everything out to him 
so you just hummed to the news, finishing up your breakfast heading upstairs while your boyfriend cleaned up and got ready to meet his friend
external pov? 
“hi markie” his friend said as your boyfriend took seat in front of her 
“did i make you wait long?” he replied. despite him not greeting her, her smile grew as she realized he cared about her enough to worry about her time 
“no don’t worry i just got here, anyway you wanted to talk?” she asked in anticipation, it was probably going to be good news (although good news for her meant bad news for you) she hoped your guys maybe broke up or something 
“yea and i’m going to talk for a while so please do not interrupt me” he asked as she nodded eagerly waiting for the breakup news to drop 
“i wanted to talk to you about yesterday, or every single hangout we’ve done ever since i started dating y/n. like i said, y/n and i are dating and i truly think she’s the one so i want to do everything in my power not to fuck it up. and that includes you stepping over boundaries that you shouldn’t step over seeing as though we’re friends. i think last night made me realize how odd? you were around me, how your hands lingered on me maybe a bit too long for a friend, or how you cut off my girlfriend when she was trying to talk, how you made backhanded comments towards her and look, i'm not asking you to like her but she's my girlfriend and she deserves some respect and i'll choose her over you in the blink of an eye. that’s why i’m choosing to put some distance in between us, at least until i’m 100% sure your behavior won’t be the same” mark finishes his rant, his fingers playing with his ring, dreading his (impulsive) friend’s reaction
“ain’t no fucking way you’re being serious right now mark, i’ve known you my whole life and you choose some random girl over me?” his friend says angry that not only you guys are still together but he’s dropping her for..you?? 
“if you don’t have anything respectful to say about y/n i’ll just leave clearly you’re not listening” your boyfriend answers, his patience getting tested 
“no, you don’t get the last word i do. you want to drop me for her? fine. i’ll do fine without you mark but what you cannot do is put the blame all on me. yes, i’ve been inappropriately acting with you but it’s only because you allowed it. each time i thought i was maybe reading too much into the mixed signals you were giving me you reassured me by apologizing because- in your own words - she was being irrational. mark, you are as much to blame as i am and i won’t sit here and let you shift the blame entirely onto me because you allowed me to flirt with you, which is something you would’ve never done if you loved your girlfriend as much as you say you do. and for the first time ever, i do hope you guys break up but not because i want you to myself but because she deserves better than you. fuck you mark” his friend says leaving the café leaving a dumbfounded mark. 
i mean she wasn’t wrong, if he had set clear boundaries from the start she would’ve never flirted with him. your boyfriend started to wonder if that was perhaps the reason why you weren’t THAT enthusiastic this morning when he told you he’d make things right.
so the whole drive home, mark’s head was clouded with thoughts that mainly centered around him being the biggest asshole ever, not only from the words he told you yesterday but also from the way he’s been acting all this time. and it saddened him that he put you through all of that. 
it’s with a heavy heart that he entered your shared house, silently praying god you weren’t going to realize that you do deserve better than him (which he knew was selfish but didn’t care) 
« so… how did it go? i don’t know what you told her but if it’s the same thing you told me this morning I’m guessing she didn’t take it very well » you say watching your boyfriend enter the house 
you guessed it must have went sour judging from the gloomy face he’s making and how deep in thought he seems to be. You didn’t like his friend but you know he liked her very much so you hoped that she said something along the lines of ‘yes i understand and i’m sorry, i’ll respect your boundaries better in the future and i’m hoping we can still be friend’ to salvage their friendship but at the same time you weren’t a fool and you knew that it realistically could never happen 
« it didn’t go super great, we’re not friends anymore but you know in retrospect it’s not a huge loss she wasn’t as good of a friend as i believed she was » you boyfriend started sitting down next to you on the couch 
you wondered what was up with him though, he looked genuinely devastated and it worried you to see him in such state 
« then what’s up? i wouldn’t usually pry and instead wait until you open up to me, but mark i’m concerned you look… sad. and i know we’re in a disagreement right now but i still sincerely believe that you’re the love of my life so i hate to see you upset » you say as your boyfriend slowly lifts his head and looks at you with glossy eyes before his first tear shed 
you immediately hugged your boyfriend rubbing his back as he mumbled through tears about how you deserved better, which you were confused about where it came from, so when his tears quieted down you looked at him waiting to explain
« she just… she said something about how we’re both in the wrong and it upset me because she’s right and she made me realize it instead of me realizing it on my own.. and she said you deserved better and at first i thought whatever she’s just mad i don’t care but she’s not wrong. You deserve better than a boyfriend who lets his friends flirt with him and who dismisses you and acts as if their friend is correct. i’m not trying to victimize myself or manipulate you with my words i’m just really sorry that i’ve been such an undeserving boyfriend and i selfishly don’t want to let you go when maybe i should so, please, give me another chance and i’ll prove to you that i can be the boyfriend you deserve. i swear i’ll be better just please don’t leave me » you boyfriend says. 
you were honestly kind of taken aback by every single one of his thoughts. you did feel a little guilty at first but that quickly went away when you remembered why you guys were in this situation in the first place. 
« listen, like i told you i’m not mad. i was just tired of you not listening to me but it seems like you’ve heard me this time even though i wished it had not gotten that far. i love you and i do not deserve better than you, you fucked up but i fuck up all the time as well and even though i did not picture the end of this situation with me reassuring you, it does not mean that you’re manipulating me, you feel guilty and that’s normal because you messed up but we’ll move past this. it’s a little bump in the road. and i sincerely think that if this situation has taught us anything it’s that we shouldn’t listen to your friend, ESPECIALLY when she says you’re not good enough for me. now dry your big boy tears and let’s go watch a movie yea? all is better don’t worry anymore » you told your boyfriend. 
you really meant your words, everything that mark needed to learn from this he learnt, you knew him well enough to guarantee that you won’t ever be put in a similar situation ever again and that this whole mess kinda made your boyfriend grow up a little? 
plus you were never one to hold grudges, so finally calling this fight over to cuddle and watch a movie with your highly sensitive, still borderline crying boyfriend was quite an easy thing to do. And even though you told him it was okay the next billion times he apologized to you during the following days, it did not stop him from spoiling you with gifts, kind words, actions etc.. like the man shoved all five love languages down your throat and even though it wasn’t necessary, it was always nice and made you feel loved.
that’s why in retrospect, you were (kinda) glad this whole thing happened and he was glad he learnt how to be better for his pretty girl. 
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rafecameroninterlude · 2 months
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Toxic!Rafe and toxic!reader, where they’re fighting because he wants to go out to a strip bar with Topper and Kelce which reader hates (she thinks they encourage his bad behavior) after she told him no. so when reader goes on insta to look at Rafes story and sees he lied and went anyways after seeing a pic of him in the sniffers row at the bar, she gets all crazy and starts responding to the story with full paragraphs 😭 and so when he starts replying she blocks him mid argument, and he goes home and yells at her until they get all lovey dovey again 🥰 (sorry this is long)
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warnings: toxic relationship (?), slight humor, cussing, lying, crying, shouting, arguing, mentions of sex, a little plot twist at the end
“..i don’t know about that, man. y/n has a bitch fit everytime i go somewhere without her, i highly doubt she’d be okay with me going there of all places.” you stood outside your bedroom door, rolling your eyes at the sound of topper’s voice. “who cares what she says? she’s not your fuckin’ mommy, bro.” you suppressed a laugh, knowing rafe has called you ‘mommy’ a numerous amount of times. your boyfriend sighed, staying silent for a moment. “look, i’ll ask her alright? if she says no then i ain’t going.” you smiled to yourself, walking into the room with a fresh stack of t-shirts in your hands.
“here she is now, i’ll call you back.” you placed the folded laundry on top of the dresser. “tell the spawn of satan herself we say hello!” kelce shouted in the background. “aww is that dumb and dumber on the phone? hey, guys!” rafe shook his head, a laugh tumbling out of his throat. he hung up the call, getting up to wrap his arms around your waist. you leaned into him, breathing in his cologne as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “listen, uh, topper and kelce are inviting me out tonight, ‘wanted to know if i can join them..” you arched a brow, turning around in his hold.
“and where do y’all plan on going?” rafe cleared his throat awkwardly. “well.. you know how the guys are, they always wanna go to some new place..” he trailed off, clearly stalling as much as he could. “just say it, rafe.” he swallowed nervously. “a strip club.” suddenly his hands felt tense on your skin, and he couldn’t hold your stare. “a strip club?” you repeated, pulling away from him. “that’s cute, but no.” rafe tongued the inside of his cheek, immediately taking out his phone.
[4:30 PM] to: topper, kelce: i’m in, pick me up at nine.
“what are you doing?” you eyed him as he brought the phone up to his ear, walking around to the other side of the bed. “m’telling them i can’t go, because you’re gonna be all pissed off if i do.” you scoffed, eyeing him carefully. rafe cursed under his breath, praying to god you couldn’t tell he wasn’t actually calling anyone. “hey, bro. i can’t go, it’s a hard no.” he scratched the back of his neck. “yeah, i know. maybe another time- wait, where?” rafe stopped pacing, nodding along to his own imagination. “pizza and beer? that sounds good. nine o’clock? alright i’ll see y’all then.” he shrugged as he pretended to hang up.
“alright, no strip club, but charlie’s pizza instead, is that alright?” you nodded. “that’s fine, but you better text me.” he jumped up, pulling you into a hug that ended with you two falling in bed. “i mean it rafe, i want pizza pictures and everything!” he showered you with kisses, taking his time when he got to your lips. you two stayed like that for a few minutes, making out softly before you pulled away. “you should start getting ready before i get too horny, ‘cause then i really won’t let you go anywhere.” you ran your thumb over his bottom lip, sighing when he got up. “good call.” he laughed, getting an outfit ready for tonight.
nine o’clock rolled around faster than you wanted it to, and sure enough topper and kelce were outside honking like maniacs once they pulled up. “i love you, baby, i’m gonna text you in a bit.” you smiled, watching him holler all the way down to where topper and kelce practically tackled him. “we promise to have him home no later than one, mommy dearest!” you gave kelce the middle finger, shutting the door once rafe blew you a kiss. now that you had the house to yourself you figured you’d shower and unwind, maybe finish the book you had been reading. all was well until you glanced at the time on your phone. 10:45 PM, and still no word from rafe.
you opened instagram, spotting the green circle around your boyfriend’s profile picture, indicating he had posted on his close friends. you clicked on it, your heart dropping at the video of rafe throwing money at a stripper’s ass. “front row seats, baby!” he cheered. just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the next story was a photo of a blonde sitting in rafe’s lap, topless and smiling from ear to ear. “this motherfucker..” you closed the app, deciding you saw enough before opening you and rafe’s text thread on imessage.
[10:55 PM] - i don’t know what’s funnier; the fact that you had a whole conversation with yourself in front of me to make it sound like you were just getting pizza and beer with your dickhead friends, or forgetting to take me off your close friends list when you want to post yourself at some sleazy ass strip club. you’re a fucking joke.
rafe had never sobered up so fast in his life, all the blood draining from his face when he read your message. “fuck!” he cursed at himself, his head resting in his hands.
[11:10 PM] my <333: baby i promise i’ll explain everything, i’m telling the guys to take me home right now.
[11:15 PM] - there’s nothing you could say that’ll ‘explain’ what the fuck you did. you sat there in my face and kissed me and reassured me when you were getting your way all along. can you even comprehend how fucked up that is? you made me look stupid in front of your friends who already don’t like me. AND THE TOPLESS PICTURE???? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE???? if i posted a picture with my tits all in jj’s face, how would you feel? we both know he’s one phone call away if i really wanted him.
rafe’s blood was boiling after he read your message, knowing that you could leave him and have someone as desperate and lovesick as jj replace him in a heartbeat. “bro don’t sweat it, man. she’ll get over it.” topper slurred, entering figure eight again. “shut the fuck up, you don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship.” rafe shot back, clenching his fists when the message he tried to send turned green. topper didn’t respond, the rest of the ride home being dead silent.
rafe didn’t even say bye to kelce or topper when they arrived at tanneyhill, instead he rushed inside, eyes immediately falling to you resting on the couch. you were wearing your pink, fluffy robe, rollers adorning your hair while you were typing something on your ipad. “babe-” rafe shut the door, falling to his knees before you. “don’t get near me. you probably smell disgusting.” rafe’s jaw ticked, his patience already running low. “i’m so fucking sorry, y/n. i shouldn’t have lied to you, baby. i promise i’ll never do that again.” you finally looked at him, his bangs falling in his face.
“i know,” you sighed, “you don’t have to worry about me doing anything either.” you got up, attempting to walk past him before he grabbed your leg. “what are you talking about?” you knew rafe well enough to know when he was getting angry, and the way he was looking at you right now only confirmed your suspicions. “you don’t get to do what you did and think it’s all going to be fine and dandy with an apology, rafe. i’m leaving for my parents tomorrow, and don’t ask me when i’m coming back because i don’t know. i don’t think i can live with a liar.” you shoved him away, only making him grab you again, this time throwing you down on the couch.
“you don’t think you could live with a liar?” he narrowed his eyes, a bitter laugh falling from his lips. “has it ever occurred to you that i wouldn’t have to lie to you if you would just not freak the fuck out everytime i want to go out and have fun?” you couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “you’re one to talk!” you screamed in his face, making him stand up. you followed suit, refusing to let him make you feel powerless. “you wanna act like you’re trapped here? fine! play the victim, but don’t forget everything you do to keep me from going out too.” you were pacing back and forth now, running your fingers through your hair.
“you literally slashed my friend’s tires to keep me from going to her birthday party, and all for what? because you found out other guys were going to be there?” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “i paid for the damages, y/n…” he groaned. “so?! it’s the principal! you do the most when it comes to me wanting to go somewhere, but me telling you not to go to a literal strip club is where you draw the line?? fuck you!” you started making your way upstairs, rafe right on your tail as you did so.
“fuck me?! i’m the one who takes care of you! there’s nothing in this world that you want and don’t have! i take you on regular vacations, i take you out damn near everyday, i keep you in all the newest shit, i pay for you and all your friend’s beauty appointments so that y’all could have a girl’s day twice a month, you just have no fucking clue!” he shouted, making you stop in your tracks. you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, breaking his heart in two.
“and what about everything i do for you?” you let out a shaky breath. “i’m what makes this house a home. i wear the clothes you want me to wear, i eat the food you want me to eat, i talk the way you want me to talk. i’m here when all else fails. i’m the one who holds you and comforts you when things get hard for you. i’m the one who makes sure you never feel alone, ‘makes sure you don’t go through anything alone. i do everything you say. on the days you work long and hard, i’m right here waiting for you with my legs open. on the days that you’re particularly tired, i’ll be on my knees, i’ll ride you and do all the work, and i’ll do everything happily because i love you.” rafe was crying with you by the time you finished speaking, both of you standing in the hallway.
“i get up at the ass crack of dawn and doll myself up everyday because i want to look good for you, i want to please you with everything i do. when we go to the country club, i speak of you in the highest regards, and i do it because i want everyone to know that i respect you. i do all of this, and i do it all without the commitment of having a fucking ring on my finger. if that doesn’t speak volumes for you, then i don’t know what does.” you walked inside your shared bedroom, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. he dropped to his knees once again, hugging your waist like you’d disappear if he let go. “we need each other. i need you.” he cried. you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him up off the floor.
“i love you, y/n. please, you can’t leave.” you cupped his face. “i haven’t seen my parents in almost six months, rafe. i have to..” he nodded slowly, taking your hand in his. “then we’ll go together. ‘tell them we have a special announcement.” you watched him with a confused expression as he went to grab a small box out the bottom drawer of the bedside table. “rafe!” you gasped, hands flying up to cover your mouth. “i’ve had this for a while now, i don’t know what i was waiting for, but i want to do this now.” he opened the box, the biggest diamond you’ve ever seen lighting up your eyes.
“i know we have to work on some things, but there’s no one else i’d rather do this with.” you gazed into his eyes, a small smile gracing your lips. “okay, let’s do it.”
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