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filmbyjy · 7 months

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COLLIE DUTY

TWENTY-TWO — clearing up mistakes

SYNOPSIS > being the new CEO to the ‘Sim Corp’ was hard and stressful. jake didn’t have much time to spend with layla and so he decides to get a dogsitter, you. though, you were originally already his secretary. how will dog sitting bring you two closer?

WARNINGS: none :D let me know if there are some idk missing words to sentences. sometimes my brain processes the sentence but when I reread it, it doesn’t have the word but I swear I wrote it down😭

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as you threw on your outfit that you had decided for the ‘date’, or whatever jake asked you, you had stepped in front of the mirror and snapped a quick photo.

posting it right on your Instagram story that was very much public to everyone. it wasn’t disclosed but you had a decent amount of following but nobody saw your face, just your body. you had wanted to keep it a secret because you know, private stuff.

your friends knew about the account. heeseung even joked about you looking like some faceless model with the way you took pictures of yourself. quite suggestive poses, very little clothing but you just wanted to express yourself because why not love yourself?

“shit, I should leave.” you didn’t even think to cover your face when you posted that photo on your account. you had quickly made it out of your apartment and went downstairs to see jake’s car waiting for you.

the moment you entered the car, you see jake looking at his phone in shock. you had peeped at his phone a little. then it hits you, you posted that pic without covering your face. jake’s eyes slowly met with yours.

“sir.” it was the only thing you could mutter out.

“you’re the faceless model that I was looking for?” he says.

you were confused. no seriously confused, “what do you mean, Mr.Sim?”

“I wanted to possibly reach out to this girl to collab for the new collection that we’re going to send out to a designer brands competition and sign her up for a contract.”

“oh.”

“you’re her?” jake says still in shock.

“is it that shocking that I am her?”

“no, not at all. it’s just that…I didn’t think you’d pose in such positions.”

“I just post this for my own pleasure. it’s fun to dress up and take photos.”

“(name).”

“yes, Mr.Sim?”

“please be the model for our ‘JS collection’.”

“Mr.Sim, I don’t exactly want to be a model. I’m already your secretary and it’s something I have been focusing on for the past 4 years.”

“I know but this would be a great opportunity. You’re pretty and you definitely fit the vibes of our new collection, it’s perfect.”

you can’t help but blush when jake called you pretty.

“Mr.Sim-”

“also dropped the ‘Mr.Sim’. I already told you when it’s just us call me jake.” jake demanded said.

“okay, umm jake. I really don’t think I can do it.”

“then what if I reward you with something if you do it?”

you deadpanned at him, “jake, I am not Layla.”

“I’m not using the ‘good girl’ tactic like you’re a dog. I’m serious, I’ll reward you with something good.”

“what is this something good?”

“tickets for like a holiday? You deserve it after working long hours as my secretary and also…for hearing what you did back in office.”

“oh.”

holy shit, sound the alarm sim jaeyun is apologising.

“yeah, I was supposed to apologised at the restaurant once we got there but since we’re already here in my car talking, I think I should apologise first.” jake takes a deep breath.

“look, I understand what you heard isn’t exactly what any normal person should hear in an office space. let alone a CEO’s office. you’re also my secretary so it was unprofessional to let that happen considering your desk was also near me. I’ll be honest, that part slipped my mind. I forgot we’re both not in two different offices. your desk is like at least 10 footsteps away from my office.” jake was about to ramble on more but you had cut him off.

“jake.”

“yeah?”

“it’s fine. I understand you have your little scandalous activities you wanna do. moreover, you’re well, someone attractive so like it’s only more normal for you to have fun.”

jake shakes his head, “let’s forget about this and have dinner. I’m sure after a long day of working, you need some good food. of course, this is also a token of apology for the umm things you heard.” jake starts up the car and starts to drive.

it was great to have this whole thing be cleared up and jake apologising. it made you feel warm on the inside, hearing jake be soft-spoken and kind to you was a change. You liked this version of jake and if you were being honest, you liked the view beside you right now.

jake holding onto the steering wheel with one hand, slick back black hair with a few pieces of hair falling onto his forehead. His black suit tucked into his pants, the black slacks he wore, one of his sleeves folded up his hand. His arm exposed that showed off the black Galaxy watch he wore on his wrist.

God the arm veins…

Your inner conscious was screaming at you. Sim Jaeyun was definitely out to murder you. you don’t even know how long you’ve been staring at him for.

“We’re here.” Jake says as he parks the car at the front of the restaurant. He goes out of the car to pass the keys to the staff there and then opens the door for you.

“Let’s go, my lady.” he says in a deep voice. You swore you just got a whole shiver down your spine which is why jake went to open the back door of the car to grab his jacket and wrapped it around your figure.

“you’re not talking, are you in shock?” he snickers. “if you must know, I have never brought anyone to some fancy high end restaurant before.”

“oh…” was the only thing you could say.

jake chuckles before softly grabbing your hand, “let’s go, it’s cold out here.”

which was how you found yourself being dragged by jake into the restaurant where the food was extremely expensive and really divine. definitely a meal for the rich.

a/n: HELL🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ I am sat! jake do be very hot for apologising and knowing what he did was very wrong and if you think that they are gonna start dating, THINK AGAIN🙄🤚🏻 I gotta drag this story for a little longer

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crown-jay · 1 year

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My experiences as a Median system core (I think)

Before I share my experiences, I would like to give you the definition of a Median System (from Pluralpedia)

"A median system (also called midcontinuum) is a system where members are not as distinct or separate from each other. It can be considered being somewhere between multiple and singlet.

Some are dependent on a single individual, or the dependence can be mutual in that there is no central individual. Some median systems feel more blurred between themselves. Others may also be based around a shared identity or kin.

The members of a median system are often described as aspects or facets. Some median systems may identify as different archetypes. Despite being more fluid and similar, median systems can be very diverse."

Now that that is out of the way, let's get onto my "evidence" (I guess) for my plurality. But before I do, this is not a place for syscourse. I am saying it now that I am pro endo, so if you don't like that, just go away? I'm not gonna argue with you if you try to with me, I'll just block or ignore you. It's a simple as that, leave endos alone for goodness sake.

Anyway. Ever since I "discovered" what plurality is, I have questioned on and off about whether I was a part of a system. Of course, back then I was very focused on "do I have a system" and not "am I a part of a system" which I understand now is kinda harmful thinking, since I don't "own" my alters, or facets, as they are called. I first learnt about plurality in 2019 (I think, idk my memory is shit) and it just sort of... Made sense? Like, I wasn't like "sounds fake, but okay" I just accepted it and didn't question it at all.

Through further looking into DID, as that was what I was introduced to first, by DissociaDID's videos, I concluded I couldn't possibly be plural, because these personalities I were feeling weren't nearly as distinct as those in the DiassociaDID system and beside, I had never switched before.

But it was still nagging at me in the back of brain. This sense of not being quite one person. A few years later, I was watching an Othercon panel about Fictional Identity Etiquette, and they mentioned Fabelings. For those who don't know; Fabelings are kinda like a median systems version of a fictive and can sort of toe the line between 'kin and fictive. I was curious, what the heck is a median system. I looked it up, read the definition and just went "oh." It was like something unlocked in my brain. It was a similar experience to when I found out what being aroace was for the first time. It just felt right.

But this wasn't it. I still didn't accept it for multiple reasons. "I still don't switch." "My 'facets' don't think to me in my head, we don't talk to each other to communicate." "I can't be plural, I am just a person with a lot of range." I was in denial. That was last year.

But now, after looking once again, because it was still nagging me, I found the term "monoconcious". And I read the definition. And I reread the definition for median system. And it all clicked. I read about parasian systems and I read about orbital systems and I just sat there and just took it all in.

Something that really resonates with me is something someone said on @median-culture-is . "Too dispersed to be a single person, too united to be multiple"

I have always felt not quite whole. For a long time, I thought it was just an autism thing, or even that it was normal. Plural first person pronouns felt so right, but I felt like I couldn't use them because "I'm only one person, right?" I've always resonated with some parts of system experiences, but not others. I've struggled with my gender identity, because it felt like it would change, but it simply didn't feel in a genderfluid sort of way.

And the whole "never switched" thing. Apparently common in median systems, especially orbital ones. I am always fronting and my facets become co-con or co-front. Sometimes I'm not even in control, but still present and passively influencing, so I don't even notice until after.

I don't know much about the facets in this system. I have a very hard time interpreting and understanding all the thoughts and feelings in my head. I hope that one day I will understand and know the identities of them. But for now, all I can do is accept and acknowledge their existence. Because that's only fair.

I could be wrong about this. Maybe I am just a singlet over analysing my emotions. But I don't think a singlet questions being a part of a system this much, for this long and this extensively. All the signs are there, and I'm finally seeing them. Now I just have to understand this new world of mine.

So yes. I guess I'm the core of a parasian, orbital median system. At least, that's how I'm labelling it for now. I would say I'm closer to the middle of the spectrum than the singlet end, but still definitely parasian. It's all very blurry but definitely real.

Um, yeah. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post, and sorry if it's incoherent, I really needed to just dump my thoughts. I'll keep y'all updated.

#system #median system #pro endo #orbital system #parasian #plural

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creachureboy · 8 months

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SCOUT VOICE LINES ?! (NSFW)

Notes:

I saw a hc of scout being super chatty during sex where he never shuts up but that makes the dirty talk fuckinf insane so

I let my brain wander. POV scout x reader where he's just saying stuff to you

To be read in Scout's voice.

In no particular order

I wrote this some time ago, I'm asexual and rereading this now makes me uncomfortable, tbh idk what's happening in my flavour of asexuality. But this was lingering in my drafts so take it

I'll set the scene, let's say you went to his room to cuddle, but it turned into a makeout sesh, and then more. Have fun whores.

"Babe, you're so fucking hot. I just can't get enough of ya. Seein' ya like this ? Oh my god."

"Oh, Baby, you sound so good when you're saying my name, oh my god. I wanna hear more of it. Please say more.."

"Ya taste so good, I just- I just can't help myself, y'know?"

"I can't give ya that pleasure you're chasing if you're squirming so much, Toots. I know I'm makin' ya feel really good, but just- stay still, okay?"

"You really can't get enough of me, can ya? I can tell with how much you're shaking."

"Ya like actin' like that, huh? Like a brat? It's cute, I gotta admit. But you'd better quit acting like a brat, or I'll have to fuck you like one."

"Oh that was good. You like that, huh? You want me to keep going like that? Do ya? Huh?"

"You're so fucking cute. But you know you can beg better than that. Come on, Baby, beg some more. For me?"

"You look so good when I'm inside you... Well, you look good all the time. Whatever."

"I wanna fuck ya 'till you can't think of anyone but me. That sound good? ..C'mon, answer me."

"You like it like this? Huh? Yeah ya do."

"I can't understand ya when you're slurring your words like that. Come on Doll, speak a bit clearer for me?"

"I know I'm making you feel good, but I wanna hear words. Answer me."

"I can't fucking get enough of ya, why are you so perfect?"

"You- you really really like it, don'tcha? Shit, man, I- I'm so lucky to call you mine."

"Are you being tight like that on purpose or am I really just making you feel that good?"

"This feels so good, I don't ever want it to end. I think I'll fuck you till the sun comes up.. and then I'll keep on going. Until I get tired. But I dunno when that's gonna happen."

"Am I making you feel good? Tell me you like it. I need to know that you like it."

"You can take this, I know ya can. You've been so good for me, just a little more. I'll be gentle, promise."

"I wanna see your pretty little face. Awh, don't go gettin' all shy on me now. C'mon Doll, please?"

"I cant get enough of you, holy shit, more, please, I- I can't take how good you're making me feel."

"Come on, make those pretty little noises for me. Or do you want me to be harder on you so I can force them outta ya?"

"Your skin feels so good under my hands. It's like I'm touchin- uh, like- ...whatever, I just love it and I wanna touch you more."

"Oh god, you can go even tighter? I dont know if I can even last like this.."

"Why are you so cute, holy shit. I wanna, like, draw you being a mess under me, and keep that drawing forever."

"Yeah, get on your knees for me. I know ya wanna."

"That feels good, that feels so good, oh fuck-"

"More, more- man, this is embarassing.."

"Yeah, thats good, thats good, youre being so good, please- fuck-"

"Look at me. Come on, look at me."

"You need this as much as I do, don't you?"

"Just tell me you want me to fuck you. Because I want to fuck you."

"I'll fuck you so hard and make you moan so loud that the whole base is gonna know how good I am."

"I'm so happy you trust me enough to let me do this to you, you have no idea. I hope you're just as happy as I am."

"You're so cute when youre trying to hold back. Its okay Baby, let yourself go, I know you wanna."

#scout tf2 #scout tf2 x reader #tf2 #tf2 x reader

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idkhoworwhytell · 4 days

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A case of the flops

860 words

First fanfiction of this fandom, idk how to feel about this but here we go.

So I have recently learned that bunnies flop on their sides when they are utterly blissed out/ content. And i wanted to base some fluff for legend off of this. Because it's not leaving my brain. (rereading this , would it be considered angst or fluff or a mix of both idk)

Little side note: i found an article that said that legends world, specifically a link to the past, would smell like mushrooms. And it seems reasonable to me so im gonna roll with it

Gn Neutral!reader

The chain was setting up camp, the nearest inn being a couple days away unfortunately. Its wild’s hyrule, being near mount satori, smelled of mushrooms and apples , due to the number of them around.

The smell brought some comfort to legend.

The chain finished setting up camp, now currently waiting on wild to finish dinner.

There were small and comfortable conversations all around the camp, bringing everyone to a sort of temporary peace.

Legend eventually made his eyes over to reader, noticing how they were making small talk with wind and wild. He feels the need to go over to reader for some reason.

Slowly he had made his way to their side, standing next to them. Suddenly wind, noticing something cool that was in the tree next to his bed roll, runs off trying to see what it was, wild went back to making dinner, leaving reader and legend to themselves. Reader looking up to legend motions him over to stand next to them. legend , moving closer to them is now just at an arm's length away. Suddenly , the conversations around the camp start to zone out of legends ears. Feeling safe and content with the person he's next to, the people around him. He just flops onto readers lap. Instantly falling asleep, scaring the chain.

Time , being the first of the 9 to notice, comes over to reader and asks “What happened?” his arm moving to legends neck to check for fever, breath, and pulse. Seeing that legend still had all the above, starts to chill out but still is expressing concern.

The other 8 finally notice.

Reader is starting to freak out, they have an unconscious teenager on their lap, with no signs of sickness, why wouldn't they ?

slowly , twilight and sky , move to the sides of time who is standing in front of the panicking reader.

Next, and behind them, the rest if the chain huddles around. Saying a mix of “what happened?” “ why is he not waking up”? That was mainly heard from wind and just panicking words in general.

Twilight, remembering that legend had used the dark crystal a little more than usual; puts together the pieces. Remembering that this is just normal bunny behavior, nudges sky over to chat a little behind the commotion.

“He's fine, remember he's been a rabbit for a little bit.. Longer than normal.”

“ oh.. Yea,” sky, not having rabbits in his time, inquired, “is he really ok? Hes not waking up, not moving, responding to sound or touch? really ?”

“ yes, unbelievable as it is, it's just a side effect , it's normal really. He might have a few behavior changes for sometime, but he will be fine.”

Sky finally having some understanding of what's happening, slowly moves back to the small huddle of panicking heroes. Twilight not too far behind.

Sky finally moving towards reader , their legs have been well past asleep at this point. Gettings inside the little huddle was a challenge having to push his way through. Finally getting in the group he , announces to the chain that was past the point of going borderline insane, “he is fine he's just needed a little extra rest for a couple days, and a little more attention, we don't know yet.” he states while grabbing legends limp body out of readers lap (which turned out to be less of a challenge than he thought it would be.) carrying legend to his bedroll, while the good majority of the chain following (the younger members) twilight who was just behind sky takes reader by their shoulders and lifts them up of the ground. Dinner was well forgotten by now. Starting to burn slowly. The well being of the unconscious member being more of a priority now.

After legend was laid down in his bedroll, it was suggested by twilight that maybe reader move theirs closer to his. That way when he wakes up he won't think they disappeared. Doing as suggested , to prevent any further problems, reader moves their bed roll next to his.

As the night goes on , dinner has been served, commotion has died down , everyone seems fine , taking shifts for the night, people sleep. everythings fine, until the morning comes. When legend wakes up he feels something missing , more like someone ( *cough* marin * cough*) looking over to his side he finds the person who survived his little miss-hap of flopping. Noticing that they are still asleep he slowly shifts himself, just a bit. Closer to their bedroll, and passes out once again

The cycle starts again.

#linkeduniverse #the legend of zelda #reader insert #lu chain #linked universe legend

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undinegeist · 9 months

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idk what this is, to be honest. I’ve had it written for a minute, got around to rereading and fixing today at random, thought it was decent enough to post. I suppose we can say it could be a series.

And now, a bit of background? This is (I guess) a made-up MCR tour in which Y/N is the guitarist for G Way’s (fictional) wife’s band.

- 1 - 2 -

a small but important disclaimer: I get why this storyline might suggest a connection to Lindsay but this is purely something that came out of my brain; I’m not here to comment on their relationship, and anything here that resonates with something in their real life is unintentional, even if this did start loosely based on Gerard Way’s life as it’s known publicly.

-xx- G -xx-

It starts with Lana and her band; I’m catching up to them in New Orleans.

They’re opening for us on the new tour; we left everything, our house, our kid, the relative sanity of staying in one place…I’m still not okay about it, but when she insisted we needed the money, I really couldn’t argue.

Lana wanted a new guitarist; after the mess with the last one, I’d hoped it’d be a girl. And it was.

They’d started the tour on their own; I’d had to stay home, looking for someone to babysit, eventually convincing my parents to come down and stay with Hayley, though Lana yelled at me for it, said it shouldn’t have been them, that we should have found someone else…I couldn’t tell her we couldn’t afford to.

The first time I saw Y/N was late one night when I slipped in to watch their show.

I’d been away so long, I hadn’t heard anything, hadn’t heard of the mess that had already been made, hadn’t realized anything was wrong.

She comes down from the stage sometime around the middle of the set, seething, hair all over her face, hiding her eyes, the only giveaway to her anger the way she flies off, down, almost tripping on the stairs.

I steady her, instinctively. “Are you okay?”

She’s still, for what feels like forever and no time at all, but then she’s gone without a sound, like she was never there, and I spend the rest of the set worrying about it.

-xx-

“Lan, what happened up there?” I know I shouldn’t ask her this the moment she’s coming off the stage, but I can’t stop thinking of that kid.

She sighs, rolls her eyes. “Nothing. Y/N’s just an annoying little bitch, can’t be normal to save her fucking life…”

“She’s just a kid. Don’t you remember what it was like?”

I’d wanted to run from the stage so many times; when I felt overwhelmed, when things went wrong, when the high took me down, made me feel like I was about to die, the lights so bright I could barely see, barely breathe…it was never easy.

“She’s not that deep, Gerard. She’s just trying to fuck with me because we had a fight last week. I should just fucking fire her…”

“Would you have liked me to fire you?” The words are out before I can think them through, sharper than I should be, inviting a fight; we’re still at the venue, why the fuck don’t I ever think?

Sometimes, I wish I’d fired her then; I try not to, hate that I still think that way, that everything is so hard even now, that I’m not better, even after all this time…that I’m probably never going to be better.

I do something I shouldn’t; turn and leave, realizing I don’t want to do this now, don’t have to do this now…knowing she can’t follow me, because she has to greet fans.

-xx-

I’ve already got my own room, separate from Lana’s, and that’s where I’m headed; blow off some steam before she gets back, to either torment me for the little scene back at the venue or drag me out to dinner…most likely, though? It’ll be both, and I’ll wish I hadn’t come…the rest of the guys are only joining us right before our first concert.

I see that girl then, still wearing the clothes from the show, lying on her back on a loveseat in the lobby, guitar on the floor, reading.

I know it’s a bad idea, but I turn and go her way, thinking I need to check on her, but also that I have no idea what happened tonight, and I should probably find out; Lana will never tell me now.

“Hey.”

She starts, sits up in a flash, dropping the book, but then recovers. “Hey.”

“Would you mind if I talked to you for a minute?”

She shakes her head, slides sideways to give me room; I pick up her book, look it over…a rockstar book.

I bite my lip on a smirk, thinking I get where her look comes from; I had that phase, where I wasn’t entirely sure what I was up to, so I borrowed and borrowed until it fit…to eventually become me.

“So…is this your favorite?”

She’s wary, but after a moment, she relaxes slightly. “One of. Why?”

“No reason, it’s just interesting. What else do you like?”

“Anything.”

“Really?”

“The more you know, the better.”

She straightens slightly, less on guard. “I’m sorry I didn’t…I’m sorry I ran away like that, earlier…I’m not all that good at being human.”

“I don’t think anyone really is. What happened, though?”

She sighs. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Last week somewhere, Lana did something and I went off, we had a fight, and then tonight, it just…I felt like I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t have left in the middle of the set either, but sometimes I just can’t control myself…”

I bite my tongue on the admission that Lana can’t do that, either. “It happens.”

She laughs, too bitter for someone so young. “Yeah, but so what? I’m not supposed to let my feelings get in the way.”

“Feelings are always in the way.”

This makes her look back at me, silent now, and I’m thinking I hope she doesn’t go, when all hell breaks lose…Lana, coming at the two of us, still dressed as she’d been at the venue, no discretion, despite my always telling her to not draw attention to herself between shows…about to do even more of that.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Lan, calm down.” I hold her back, though we’re too close already, people are staring, why doesn’t she ever think of what this looks like?

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! This little bitch ruined my set, yet still has the gall to sit here talking to you…”

“I was sitting here talking to her…Lana, please, don’t do this.”

The last thing we need is a scandal a week before the tour.

“Don’t get in my way, Gerard! This isn’t any of your fucking business…”

I’m so distracted, she slips off me when Y/N goes for the elevators.

“Aren’t you going to apologize to me?”

They’re in each others’ faces, I might as well be invisible.

“For not playing along with your bullshit?”

“You’re a stupid little slut…you’re nothing.”

“At least that makes me not you.”

Lana doesn’t follow; everyone’s staring, some people with their phones out, filming every second…then Lana’s moving back to me, and I know she wants me on her side, but I can’t, won’t…not again.

I’ve done that too often, to my detriment, to hers too, because I give her too much.

“I don’t want her here, Gee. We need to…”

“We don’t need to anything. You said this wasn’t my problem, so it isn’t…deal with it yourself.”

“Where are you going?!”

“Nowhere.”

-xx-

#mcr x reader #gerard way x reader #gerard way x y/n #mcr x y/n

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blairsanne · 1 year

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Writing Questions Tag Game:

Thanks for tagging me @residentdormouse ♥

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Um, so the two favourite ideas of mine are not things I can link you to because the first one, which is a faerie story about (among other characters) the fae prince of Winter, is a story I'm writing (I guess it's on hiatus) with my irl bff and it's not finished or available to the public. I don't know how much I should share tbh, but I love all the characters and the world we've built so much.

The other is just my special daydream OC character whose story I will never actually write because it's a mashup of various fandom lores and very complicated and while fun to daydream doesn't sound fun to write. She's a priestess who gets murdered on the altar of her world's gods by her bff and they revive her to kill him (he was a priest who took the power of the gods and then proceeded to basically demolish the world around him). She does so, but is essentially left alone in her world and becomes a guardian of sorts. Her role is to link herself to one person (anchor) in every one of the worlds/dimensions/realities that the collection of souls her gods watch over reincarnate into. She can call on power from the other realities to protect them from outside threats (basically, if the gods were creator beings, there are destroyer beings who want to devour the souls/realities). She ends up being kind of a tragic character though, since she's stuck between a bunch of "lives" so to speak and beholden to different people in different worlds but never able to settle down and be done. She keeps getting revived by the gods when she dies (with all her memories, instead of reincarnating), and she struggles with grief. Why is this my favourite idea? IDK but I keep thinking about it.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

Well one time someone on anon complained that I wrote a self-indulgent mary sue oc into my fanfic and asked "who asked for [that]". To which I replied that I did. Because, you know, I write shit for myself first. As a fun hobby. I'm in no way saying that I write anything great, and if you think my writing is cringe, like, okay, you're right? Die mad about it, I guess? Get a life? Idk. I'm just having fun playing pretend with these fictional worlds.

What is your favorite part of being a writer?

Re-reading finished things because I write the type of stories I like to read, so it's really satisfying to get to reread them later. Close second is when someone else likes what I've written, that's pretty cool. ♥

What parts could you take or leave?

The agony of the time between posting something online and that first bit of feedback on it. Now that I actually have people looking at my stuff there's a little bit of like "well I hope at least one person does end up reading and enjoying this" and like... if not then it feels like why bother posting it online? (Honestly I started posting my BWOC fic in 2013 just so my irl bff could read it. I started posting my newer fics on tumblr in 2021 just so I'd move on and finish the missing parts of the story I had been writing... which hasn't worked, in case anyone wondered haha.)

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I am constantly coming up with stories in my head. There's something about writing them down and crafting them into something I can read again later that lets me put them down, if that makes sense. Like a brain dump. I don't need to remember just how that scene went or why that was happening in this plot, because it's written down now. I can revisit it later if I like. Or never.

Second-biggest motivation is when I'm writing a fic with someone else in mind, like a request or gift, or for an event, or just something I know that one person in particular will like. In the hopes I contribute something good to their day. (Even if it's smut.)

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

I've honestly been writing since I was a child, so I wish I could tell you. XD

What I would say to someone new to writing is this: You get better at every skill by doing it. So, if you want to write, you're better off writing a ton of stories, badly at first and reworking, refining, revising, etc. than to wait until you're "good enough" to write the story you want to write. You can always write a version two or twenty-five, months or years later. Done is better than perfect, and shitty-first-drafts are better than forgotten ideas.

What is your favorite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can!

Probably Homecoming, a smut-fic for Bofur in the Durin's Garage AU. Mostly because I haven't written most of my stories to completion, but also I love that fic.

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

"If anyone can do it, so can you."

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

In one of my original fiction stories, one of the characters is an emperor who is basically taking over the world bit by bit, and has zero remorse about it. He believes that nobody can love him (for good reason unrelated to his status/warring) and has decided not to love anyone or anything either. At one point, frustrated with how passive his stolen fiancee is, he orders his brother to strangle her to death in front of him and then gets mad at her when she doesn't fight back (he orders the brother to stop, it was just like... a test?). He's very aggressive and believes that everyone only looks out for themselves, etc. so he does the same. (So her passivity sort of challenges him in a way. It's complicated.) It think it's a very toxic but easy-to-fall into worldview when someone thinks that the world is cruel to them, to decide to be cruel back. That's probably the most controversial mindset of my OCs, but that's sort of the point. Obviously I think he's wrong, and eventually things happen to change him.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

She'd probably be confused why we stopped doing forum-RPing and be completely amazed that a single stranger anywhere in the world had read and enjoyed something we wrote all on our own. Honestly I think little me would think I was pretty cool and living the dream. Maybe I should remind myself that more often.

I really value the community in fandom spaces, which I think is why fanfiction is so appealing. We all get to play with the same dolls in different ways and go "ah yes, that's a cool way you played" and learn from each other and grow, and it's all around a shared love of stories. Storytelling is how humans make sense of the world, and community is what makes life feel like it has meaning to me. So this is a pretty cool place to be.

No pressure tags: @laurfilijames @i-did-not-mean-to @i-am-still-bb @silvermoon-scrolls @sotwk @middleearthpixie @sketch-and-write-lover @enchantzz @lordoftherazzles and OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to do it. :)

#tag game #writing stuff

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ae-neon · 1 year

Note

oh and for the ask! 🧐🛠🥰🙋‍♀️

Ah thanks!

🧐 research for my writing? It depends.

For the REWRITE I switched to reading the wiki because my brain got bored of rereading acotar.

But for The House of Mirrors, I conquered my social anxiety and DM'd an Eastern European mutual to ask about modern wedding customs that might have ties to older cultural stuff.

the Scythians have elements of Ossetian culture (real world descendants of the actual Scythians) So I included Mama Archeron baking 3 pies because Ossetian cultural cuisine has 3 pies that represent heaven, earth and the divine.

🛠️ apps I use to write? Besides just using word I actually write a lot of my stuff in the Tumblr drafts on mobile lol. Idk why. Also I have a voice program read back my work to know how it sounds

🥰 how do I feel about reader interactions? I NEED THEM I LIVE OFF THEM PLEASE. Am I open to receiving questions on fics? I think if someone went through my blog they'd be able to piece the entire REWRITE together just from me answering questions. I love love love interacting.

🙋🏻‍♀️ irls who know I write fanfic? The best friend I first wrote anything with is still my best friend more than a decade later. She's upset every time I work on the modern au instead of the REWRITE. (She just likes the REWRITE better)

#my writing #acotar #ask game

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deepspacedukat · 2 years

Note

Story time? About my dreams? It’s more likely than you think.

Anyways remember that Macet, Daro, and Telle dream I had?! My brain did a remix while I was awake (yay for daydreams) that added Boheeka. Which is fine but!!! I ended up married to Akellan 💜💜💜 but apparently he was friends with Madred and liked to be cuckholded sooooo there was an ‘interrogation’ that used him and a bunch of his glinns(?). But that was after the free use party at Macet’s which had some of my friends and the guests were: Daro, Telle, Boheeka, Tekheny Gamor, Dukat (obviously 🤣🤣 because I was rereading your whole lizard list), and Madred. Anyways one of my friends ended up going home with Tekheny (I can’t spell I’m sorry) after. And also banged Ari! So yay! And another ended up with Madred. I got to ‘interrogate’ her first as a way to see if I wanted to join. But anyways we apparently got so good at it there was a real one with an actual suspected traitor! Don’t worry, Akellan got in on all of the ‘interrogations’ he just had to wait his turn for a very long time.

And then as I was falling asleep I had a pon farr dream with Taurik? There was a center unmated or Vulcans who’s partners couldn’t help for health or travel reasons went to and I got paired up with him.

Apparently my brain somehow meshed these together while I was dead asleep into me being somewhere deep in Cardassian space with a gul who had absolutely broken me. I blame stayneurotic’s keevan and the spy part 4 (which popped on my feed, I’ve only read part 4) because I read that during lunch. I WOKE UP about this one! Legit woke up, went back to sleep and continued it. Idk how because that never happens but it was AMAZING. 11/10 would recommend insert Chef’s Kiss emoji here times 36.

I’m not gonna like I read the mirror fic with Dukat 3 times yesterday and Bird of Prey twice. Why do I feel like Dukat insinuates Damar would be down to participate again in activities involving the reader??? I think it was my horny brain😭😭😭😭

Btw that McCoy as the only human scenario??? Definitely in love with it.

-Horta-in-Charge

OH? MY? GOD?? *fanning self* I–

I'm fucking dead or feral or something about that dream/daydream! Omfg I...I have many emotions...and most of them are dirty.

*ahem* I guess I should try to be coherent, holy shit. Uh, okay. So. The Cardassian part of all that: I'm absolutely drooling oml. I can't even express how lovely all of that sounds. Taurik and the pon farr combo: Amazing! *chef kiss* I love this for you, and I approve of the combo. He's a v pretty Vulcan!

Since you mentioned it: I'm absolutely out of my goddamned mind over @stay-neurotic ‘s “Keevan and the Spy” series. It’s so fucking good, and I cannot praise it enough! 10000/10 *chef’s kiss* If you need, horta, I can link you to the series on AO3. It’s so fucking good and I’ve read through it more times than I should probably admit. Actually, I’m just gonna link it anyway, because I have no self-control and I love it. HERE! I love how that influenced your dream, though! Omg that sounds like it must’ve been such a fun time.

I’m glad that you enjoyed both “Eyes Wide Open” and “Bird of Prey”! And you’re not imagining things. I wanted that to be the impression that was given, even if it’s kind of like a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of undertone. I was giving myself a sort of lead-in for a sequel in case I ever decided to write one. That way I wouldn’t have to find some way to add in heavy exposition and transitional stuff if I did decide to write a sequel. Let’s hear it for lazy sequel writing lol.

#deepspacedukat asks #horta in charge

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mgparker · 2 years

Text

under his skin

[tasm!peter parker x reader]

spoiler free | word count: 4k

summary: in which you and peter parker realize there really is a fine line between love and hate.

warnings: unedited, constant childish bickering and arguments, enemies to lovers, swearing, violence, assault attempt, mentions of blood, possessive!peter, slight ooc!peter, toxic a little?? maybe idk?

Peter Parker generally considered himself a friendly guy. In fact, he usually made it a point to be exceedingly nice towards others. It wasn’t in his nature to stand around and not defend the little guy. Nor was it in his nature not to treat others with kindness and respect. I mean, he literally held doors open for grandmas in his free time. It went hand in hand with being New York’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

But, for the life of him, Peter Parker could not explain his insatiable hatred for you.

Well, maybe hatred was a bit too far. But he really, really disliked you. He doesn’t know why but something about the way you walked, talked, and breathed just irked the fuck out of him.

The way you scrunched your nose when you laughed.

The way your smile would lean a little towards the right.

The way you would look effortlessly flawless every day.

The way you easily held so much knowledge in your brain that even Einstein would be impressed…

Yeah… all of that lit a fire in Peter’s bones. You got under his skin like no one ever has. And he couldn’t really explain it.

Correction—he couldn’t explain it without sounding like a certified dumbass.

You see—the two of you were actually good friends once, best friends, before your fallout in the second grade. Yes… the second grade. Talk about some elementary school drama. But you vowed to hate each other for the rest of your lives and that was that.

It may seem immature that Peter still held a strong loathing toward you but over the years, your feud had evolved into something different. Now, you were academic rivals, constantly trying to one-up each other simply because you could.

So while Peter remained the sweetest boy on earth to literally everyone else, he was the biggest menace towards you.

“Can you watch where you’re going?” A familiar voice snapped, just as soon as you bumped their shoulder roughly, distracted by the textbook in your hand.

With an embarrassed gasp, you spun around to apologize before you saw who the culprit had been.

“Parker,” you grumbled, instantly turning back around with every intent to continue your march toward the library.

Footsteps scrambled in your direction. “So you’re not going to apologize?” The boy asked obnoxiously, abandoning his path in favor of following you.

Annoyance surged through your veins. “No. I’m not.”

You were stuck on the same sentence in your book, rereading the words over and over again as you desperately tried to block out Peter’s voice. “Y’know everyday you just prove yourself to be the worst out of the two of us.”

You snapped your book shut. “I’m so very sorry, Mr. Parker. Forgive me for bumping into your highness.”

“Oh well I wouldn’t take it that far.”

You shoved past him with an eye roll. “Piss off, Parker.”

“You say my name a lot. Are you like in love with me or something?” Why was he still following you?!

“And after my numerous attempts at getting you to fuck off, you still seem to be following me. Are you like obsessed with me or something?”

Peter scoffed, shaking off the comment though it struck a nerve in him. “Just fulfilling my daily quota of reminding you of just how irritating you are.”

You finally reached the library, spinning around to face the bane of your existence. Resisting the urge to whack him across the head with the book, you snapped it shut and held it tightly. “Are you done?Because you’ve surely shown me how irritating you are.”

Peter made a thinking face before breaking into that stupid smirk you despised. “Yeah I think I’m done.”

Your heart raced violently from the utter frustration this boy put you through. Normally, you enjoyed having the last word because your pride couldn’t settle for anything less but today you barely had any fight in you.

It had been a long exhausting day and you had nearly reached your limit.

So instead you simply turned around and entered the library quietly. It left Peter stunned, staring after your retreating figure with a sense of disappointment.

As he stood there watching you choose a table through the glass doors, a girl entered his line of vision. She juggled eight books in her arms, struggling to grasp the doorknob.

“Here,” Peter murmured kindly, pulling the door open. The girl thanked him with a grateful smile and slid past.

Across the library, you caught the interaction, gritting your teeth as you watched Peter Parker transform into his usual self-- the kind, smart student who didn’t have one mean bone in his body.

So it infuriated you when he suddenly looked up and met your eye with a hint of that warmness remaining. But then the look morphed into something else, a look you couldn’t quite place but it made you narrow your eyes in suspicion. You were the one to finally break eye contact…

He’d never looked at you that way before.

It was late when you finally left the library, the sun disappearing behind the skyscrapers of New York.

A chilly breeze made you pull your sweater tight around your frame, shivering as you rushed home. The silence was unsettling-- the city was usually buzzing with excitement throughout the day but eerily calm at night.

A puff of white air formed in front of your face, your breath coming out shakily. This temperature should be illegal, you thought bitterly.

You were almost home, a few blocks away from your apartment complex when you heard idle footsteps behind you. Automatically, your heart sank, a pit forming in your stomach as you walked faster. You snuck a glance behind you, catching sight of a dodgy looking man.

“Shit,” you whispered to yourself. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Alarmed, you looked for any open stores, anywhere you could walk into but the street was mostly residential.

Your brain barely caught up with it but you realized the footsteps were a lot louder now. A hand forcibly wrapped around your arm, spinning you around until you were facing the man who’d been following you. An idle scream left your lips, lungs freezing in shock.

“Empty your pockets.”

The stranger dragged you into a dark corner of the street, cornering you to the wall. You wanted to scream again but your panic was keeping you foolishly silent.

Valuing your life, you did as he asked, watching as your phone, keys and headphones fell on the phone with a loud clatter. The man stared at the items disapprovingly, stepping back before retrieving something from his pocket.

That’s how you were suddenly on the receiving end of a gun. Lips quivering, you forced some air into your lungs, doing your best to stay calm but if the look of anger in the man’s eye was any indication-- you weren’t doing well.

“Open the bag,” he motioned at it with the gun. You absolutely felt like throwing up, zipping the bag and slowly handing it over. He took it aggressively, throwing its contents on the floor with no sympathy. You felt like crying as you watched your books land on the damp floor, pages instantly bent.

Finally, he dug out the wad of cash you kept in your bag in case of emergencies. A sneer formed on his face, stuffing the money in his pocket. Relief flooded you before it was rudely taken away when he raised the gun once more. “You’ve seen my face, sweetheart.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” you lied desperately, feeling your impending doom creeping just around the corner. Is this really how you were going to die? In a damp smelly alleyway in Queens?

Where did all your spunk go? Oh right-- any trace of your usual attitude flew right out the window as soon as he whipped out the gun.

If you’d had a second longer to gather your wits, you would’ve attempted to fight off the man.

He tilted his head. “That’s what they all say.”

You couldn’t go out without a snarky comment. Despite the bolt of panic that hit you. “You couldn’t have come up with a better line? How typical and unoriginal of you.”

His face twisted, finger curling around the trigger mercilessly. You flinched, shrinking back as you saw your life flash before your eyes.

Except the bullet didn’t hit you, the gun suddenly aiming at the floor pointedly. You were confused, shaking from head to toe. A web was connected to the head of the gun and you both followed the substance until it led all the way to its source.

Stance tall, Spider-Man stood at the top of the building you were cornered against, a long web connected to his wrist and stretching all the way to the thief’s gun, manipulating it so that it shot towards the ground instead of you.

“Do you usually go pointing guns at everyone on the street?” Spider-Man scolded. “Not cool, dude.”

Shocked, you stared between him and the thief, slowly inching away to put some distance between your assailant. He noticed instantly, dropping the gun and lunging toward you with a knife in hand. But Spider-Man acted quick, stealing the knife with another web. He finally jumped down, barely giving you time to react before the stranger was pinned to the wall.

The hero’s voice dropped a few tones. “Touch her again and I’ll do much worse than web you to a wall.”

Wait—you recognized that voice. How could you not? It was a voice you heard every day at school. A voice that always stirred very intense feelings within you.

Reeling from your discovery, you didn’t notice when the masked hero walked over to you quickly, gently grabbing your shoulders. “Are you okay?” He asked softly. It was the nicest tone you’d ever heard come from his mouth (at least directed towards you).

Forgetting every language you knew, you nodded blankly, feeling nauseous from the near-death experience.

Hastily, Spider-Man stuffed your belongings back into your bag and then wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing you to his side firmly and directing your arms to his neck. As soon as you were secure, he shot a web and swung you both into the air.

The thief’s screams faded away quickly as you gained speed, swinging toward your house. Despite the fear still coursing through your veins, the feeling of flying was exhilarating. Your eyes admired the city lights and the faint view you had of Manhattan. You felt Spider-Man’s fingers tighten around your skin possessively.

When you finally arrived on the rooftop of your building, you lingered in his arms, staring into the eyes of his mask incredulously.

He stared back silently, the space between you nonexistent. His behavior threw you off—if your theory was correct (which he had practically proven when he took you to your building without asking you where to go), this was a very different Peter Parker than the one you were used to.

Clearing your throat, you stepped away and rubbed your arms in an attempt to warm up. “Never thought you’d go out of your way for me, Parker.”

Spider-Man followed you, eyes scanning your figure for any bodily injuries but luckily there was nothing to find. His body visibly slumped in relief, preparing to halfheartedly deliver a sarcastic quip he reserved just for you but the words fell short on his tongue— “Wait—I—what?!”

He watched your lips curl into a knowing smile, his heart skipping a beat.

“You should really invest in one of those voice modulator things,” you advised. “It’s exceedingly easy to recognize your unpleasant tone.”

You tried to stop yourself from your usual snide comments considering he just saved your life, but you couldn’t stop the overwhelming flood of emotions you felt around him. Snapping at him was the only way you knew how to release some of that tension. Little did you know, Peter felt the same way… when honestly, you just believed he loved being an annoying little shit.

He suddenly lowered his tone dramatically, almost growling at you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A bout of laughter bubbled from your chest.

“Stop doing that,” you gave him a smile that made him feel stupid.

“Doing what?” He growled deeply.

You shook your head, playing with your fingers. “This is embarrassing for you, Parker.”

Stuttering over his words, he tried to think of any excuse to deter you from your conclusion.

Ignoring his desperate attempts, you reached up and grasped the edge of his mask. The two of you froze; you waited for him to stop you, but his mind went blank at your touch. It did something weird to him— a pleasant ache in his stomach. It was a combination of butterflies and something else.

Taking his silence as a green light, you wrapped your fingers around the soft fabric, pulling up slowly and watching as you revealed his warm skin inch by inch. Your breath caught in your throat, blood pounding in your ears.

Why were you nervous? You knew it was Peter.

You both sucked in a sharp breath when his mask finally slipped off and hung in your grasp loosely. You wanted to say that the revelation sent you into a confused state but it made sense. Peter was an angel (to everyone else but you), always helping others even when he didn’t need to. It simply made sense that he was Spider-Man…

You were so close you could feel his nervous breaths fanning your eyelashes. Staring at him in this proximity made you realize just how beautiful Peter Parker was. A warm blush scattered across his cheeks and nose. His long eyelashes hung over his sparkling brown eyes and his lips were parted slightly, a delicate pink shade that you could imagine pressing against your own—

No. Absolutely not. You could admit Peter was hot, but to fantasize about him as he stood mere inches away from you was out of question.

Silence engulfed the two of you, both trying to figure out what to say in this awkward predicament.

“This is the last thing I needed,” he breathed, still looking deep into your eyes. Though it was spoken gently, the words themselves irked you.

A scoff escaped your lips. “What? You’re scared I’m gonna reveal your identity? You may piss me off but I’m not that mean.”

“I’m not scared you’re going to tell anyone,” he argued. “It’s just that anybody who knows is another person that’s in danger because of me.”

“Since when do you care about my safety?” You chuckled.

He swallowed roughly, stepping back without breaking his gaze. “I’ve always cared about your safety.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” you bit back.

“Didn’t I just save you back there?” He was getting irritated again, the usual when he was around your intoxicating presence.

You cringed. “Uh—yeah—no you’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you,” you spat, feeling your manners come back suddenly. You might have your severe differences, but you were grateful nonetheless. You were quite literally staring death in the face before he miraculously arrived.

Peter suddenly felt rather bashful. “You’re—you’re welcome.”

Not quite sure how to properly express your gratitude, you decided to take the easy way out, slowly stepping toward the staircase. “My parents are probably two seconds away from blowing up my phone so I gotta go.” You awkwardly threw him some finger guns, unsure of how to act around him if you weren’t arguing. “I’ll, um, see you in class tomorrow.”

“Yeah—yeah I’ll see you,” he said with a small smile. Gripping your bag tightly, you spun around with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. A heat rose from your neck. All that passion you’d always translated into snide… well, it didn’t feel half bad when you had a nice conversation with him instead.

For the next few weeks, your usual banter with Peter slowly faded away until you simply resorted to giving each other a friendly smile in the hallway. But honestly, it probably looked more like a grimace from both ends because little did you know, you were both working through the same feelings.

You were both realizing that your irritation towards each other was actually a guise to conceal the fiery feelings you held for each other.

And it didn’t help that every time you saw him in class or in the hallway, all you could think about was the feeling of his protective hand on your waist and his firm torso pressed against yours…

Jesus, you had it bad.

It was true what they said—there was a fine line between love and hate…

Your feelings became known late one night when an aggressive tapping on your window caused you to fly off your bed. Pulling your curtains away anxiously, your defenses dropped as soon as you caught sight of Peter Parker.

The Spider-Man suit clung to his skin and his mask laid beside him on the fire escape. He was gasping as if he were in pain and a glance down to his torso confirmed it.

“Oh my god,” you mumbled, pulling the window open and practically dragging him into your room.

Your hands burned as they made contact with his suit. In fact, every part of you burned at the thought of him in your room. Alone.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, pulling off the top of his suit as he stumbled onto your bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”

Part of you felt elated that he chose you of all people, but you pushed down your excitement. If he realized your hatred was actually not hatred at all, he’d never shut up about it. Ever.

Anyway, there were more pressing matters at hand. Rushing to the bathroom, your shaky hands dug the first aid kit from under the sink and rushed back over to Peter who was moaning and groaning. His blood was making you nervous, causing you to do the one thing you were best at.

“Why would you do this?” You wiped at his cut, determined to keep your eyes away from his fantastic abdomen. How had you not noticed he was this ripped?

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” He defended, hissing when you pressed the alcohol swab to his wound.

“I saw you with little cuts at school but never anything this serious,” you continued without acknowledging his response. “Do you have any idea how much it worries me knowing you’re risking your life every night?! And I probably shouldn’t care so much but I do. I care a whole fucking lot and it constantly keeps me up at night, wondering if—”

You stopped suddenly as you realized what had just poured out of your mouth, eyes stuck on his torso to avoid eye contact. Wow. That was stupid. Why did you say that? Why would you say that?! Curse you and your stupid word vomit—

— “…If?”

“Huh?” You looked up and Peter was staring at you intensely, leaning on his elbows. It stirred something deeper in you— seeing him spread across your bed like a damn supermodel.

“You stopped suddenly. You said you stay up every night wondering if…?” There was no trace of his usual teasing smile.

This was painfully awkward for you.

“Forget I said that,” you mumbled, bandaging his already-healing wound.

“What if I don’t want to?” He shot back quickly, forgetting about the pain and focusing all his attention on your face. Thankfully, the bandage was secure because your actions froze instantly.

It took a minute but then a wave of realization hit you like a tsunami. “Um— well that depends I guess.”

His eyes trailed down to your lips. “On what?”

“Whether you’re going to use my words to make my life a living hell,” you leaned in, passion threatening to burst beneath the surface.

The tension got thicker, his hands snaking their way under your shirt and around your waist. They seemed to leave a burning trail in their wake, every nerve in your body lighting up under his touch. Goosebumps rose along your body.

You couldn’t believe he was pulling you apart with just his hands. “I’ll think I’ll use them for something different…” His lips were a hairswidth away from yours and you’d never felt more exhilarated in your life.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you decided to throw all caution to the wind. “Well, I’m a firm believer in the notion that actions speak louder than words,” you breathed before pressing your lips against his daringly.

A sensation rushed to your brain so quickly it made you dizzy. Warmth enveloped your senses as Peter’s soft lips moved against your own feverishly. It didn’t start slow—no, just like your relationship, everything was hot and fiery and fast.

All other thoughts vanished until all you could think about was Peter.

The way it felt to have his fingers grip your blazing skin, the way his hair felt pillowy against your palms... the way he pulled you in close, your clothed chest flush against his bare torso.

Hands were all over the place—yours had gone from his neck to his sternum and his were tangled in your hair, using his grip to pull your head away slightly. Starved, you breathed in a gasp of air before it was stolen straight from your lungs when his wet lips connected to the spot under your jaw. A breathy sound left your throat, leaning into his touch until he dragged you down with him. Effortlessly, Peter flipped you over, hovering over your body with a sinful look in his eye.

A snark comment seemed at the tip of his tongue, but you pulled him down before he could say a word. Your lips parted, allowing your tongues to touch gently. The world melted away until it was just you and Peter, intimately exploring each other in every way you could. Mouth to mouth. Skin to skin.

The pace of the kiss left you aching for familiarity, chasing his movements until it became more of a game—a race for dominance. It was the kind of kiss that left no room for anything other than the sensation of touch. Every sound that escaped you and every breathy moan that escaped Peter went unheard.

“You’ve always been mine,” he breathed as he covered every inch of skin your neck displayed. As if he had to leave his trace on every part of you.

Chuckling against his thumb that was lodged against your swollen lips, your eyes fluttered open to glance down at him. “You don’t want to start this right now.”

You thought your words fell on deaf ears when he continued licking and sucking on the base of your throat, but he suddenly rumbled a response against your skin. “You’re right,” he pressed his face harder into the crook of your neck. Goosebumps rose as he blew cold air on your bruised skin. “We’ve always belonged to each other.”

He was right. Undoubtedly.

Peter stared down at you, feeling his body tremble from the sheer intensity of his feelings for you. Your swollen lips teased him, like they were begging to be caged between his teeth. But suddenly he couldn’t see your lips anymore, your hands pulling him down until his ear was levelled with your mouth.

You murmured one word; it was all it took for his heart to fully belong to you. And only you.

Your teeth grazed his skin… “Right.”

After that night, you and Peter Parker realized your years-long rivalry had simmered into something beautiful. Something you both didn’t quite know how to explain so you used it to fuel the strongest emotion you could think of—hate. It was quite easy, seeing as both of you were competing for the spot of Valedictorian. But it didn’t matter much anymore—the anger, the teasing, the hate—because you’d decided to express your passion for each other’s souls in a different way…

The students of Midtown were quickly made aware of this new development, the two of you becoming dramatically closer within the week. And don’t get it twisted—your competitive spirit wasn’t completely gone, regardless of the fact that you were both insatiably in love with each other. If anything, it fueled you even more, knowing that at the end of the day, your boyfriend would still be your lover first and then your rival… you fueled each other like a match to gasoline.

If your abhorrence for each other was unbearably strong, the love was exceptionally consuming.

… It was exciting. Thrilling. Like constant adrenaline coursing through your veins…

That was your love.

hi! out of character, i know but just something i was inspired to write since i’ve mainly stuck to best friend!reader content. requests will be answered soon, i’ve been very behind on my inbox :)

check out my masterlist btw !!

thanks for reading :)

--elle <333

general/tasm!peter parker taglist:

@idli-dosa @nikkitc0703 @golden-hoax @pogueslandia

#tasm!peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader #andrew!peter x reader #tasm!peter parker #andrew!peter parker #tasm!spiderman x reader #spiderman x reader #spider-man x reader #the amazing spider-man #tasm x reader #tasm #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield #enemies to lovers #andrew!peter parker x reader #garfield!spiderman #mgparker

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byulsgrease · 3 years

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if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested

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junkworldusa · 3 years

Text

belated book asks, thank you for indulging me!

1- What book are you currently reading? bros karamazov, 2/3s through atm.

i hate that i’m thinking about pathologic (video game) the entire time but i can't help it. the way characters are constantly bursting into people's houses & going "you’re an angel, you're the best person i've ever met, you're a saint" to someone they just met 5 minutes ago is so. distinct. i joked on twitter that the first half of the book is just alyosha running around completing sidequests, which i still think is true, but once i got to the grand inquisitor part i was like "Okay mr dostoevsky, you’ve got me."

2- What book did you recently finish? "selections from science & sanity" by alfred korzybski, recently featured in the gumby quotes. a while back i listened to a 6 hour long interview with robert anton wilson where he talks about korzybski & general semantics so i gave it a shot. it's an abridged version of a 900 page book & i definitely plan on reading the full work at some point, it's wild. if you’re interested in language, consciousness, the gap between words & meaning, and/or hacking your brain i would recommend it. he repeats himself a lot but that's a side effect of his pedagogy, the goal of which is the eventual re-wiring of your entire nervous system in order to achieve a more rational worldview/healthier reactions to things. (so repetition via words/sounds/actions is necessary 2 engage the organism-as-a-whole.) the most important takeaway for me is that everything & everyone you interact with is a completely unique object, and this necessarily extends to temporality-- Bob in 1999 is NOT the same person as Bob in 2010, and treating them as though they were is a harmful mistake. interestingly enough, im taking a class with J.F. martel (weird studies podcast, author of "reclaiming art in the age of artifice") & last night he said what amounts to exactly the same thing, except he was arguing for like, a soft animism (i-thou vs. i- it) & korzybski was arguing for a more "rational" & secular world. so fascinating.

3- What’s a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time? ulysses. i know. i know. i have a copy but keep bouncing off of it. idk why, i liked portrait of the artist as a young man. i think i’m worried i’ll turn into this person:

4- What’s the next book you’re hoping to read? i just got "speech play: research & resources for the study of linguistic creativity" in the mail so probably that. i'm on a childlore kick rn & this is like... horizontally related 5- Is there a book you own, but aren’t planning on reading?

around 2 years ago i was walking home after a show high on E & i ran into a guy i had met at work a couple times. went over to his apartment because MDMA is like, "everything is SO meaningful and SO much fun." i barely remember our conversation but he ended up being like "you would like this book, here take it, i have 3 copies." so i now own a copy of "the eater of darkness" by robert m coates. i still haven't read it. the moral of this story is [???]

6- What was your favorite series as a kid? Would you still read it now? so many of you asked this question :P

THE TRUTH: i was obsessed with lotr from age 8 to 13 with a level of dedication that i've never known since. yes, i would still read it now. i reread the silmarillion last year & it was naturally a way more rewarding experience than when i was a kid! 8- Fantasy or sci-fi? i like & have read a lot of older sf/f (le guin asimov pkd etc etc) but im not actively into either nowadays. i read whatever reaches me from the queer sf/f twitter pipeline (like whatever's on wizards vs lesbians) but otherwise dont pay much attention. so the answer is "idk!!!”

12- Have you ever read a celebrity memoir? If so, whose was it? the only memoir i've read in recent years has been "memories, dreams, reflections" so if jung counts as a celebrity, there you go 14- Fiction or non-fiction? non-fiction in both quantity of books owned & what i prefer reading. i almost view them as 2 separate activities bc the motivation for & experience of reading them are so wildly different 15- Favorite fiction genre? i know i said im not "actively into" sci fi but 16- Favorite non-fiction genre? "philosophy" i guess. i also really love any phenomenological/experience-based studies of paranormal stuff, like "the terror that comes in the night" by david hufford or anything by jacques vallée. basically books that both a) take strange experiences seriously & b) examine/catalogue them scientifically (to whatever degree).

22- How do you organize your books? “poorly” 26- What’s your favorite book? fav non-fiction book: “time loops” by eric wargo. what if freud's career-making "irma dream" was a premonitory dream about the oral cancer that would severely impede his quality of life in his old age? (fantastic blog entry by the author, serves as a kind of intro to this topic: http://thenightshirt.com/?p=4326 )

when i read “time loops” it felt like everything i had ever read (& will ever read future tense) was for the sole purpose of understanding it. “time loops” picks up where J.W. dunne's 1927 "an experiment with time" left off. i won't say too much more about it but everyone should read it. it's so smart & engaging & will totally blow your miiiind, maaaan speaking of "an experiment with time," in 1964 a guy named vladimir nabokov began an experiment of his own following the directions dunne laid out in his book. dunne encouraged readers to write down their dreams in order to test the theory that a later event could generate an earlier dream.

nabokov’s experiment with dreams & time strongly influenced “ada or ardor: a family chronicle” which happens to be my favorite novel. i first read it when i was 18, and i've reread it 3 times since then (with the help of ada online, my beloved http://www.ada.auckland.ac.nz/ ) i would not recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t already like nabokov & know what he’s about. it’s fucked up & self indulgent & i love it so much

30- What character do you connect with the most? when jung said he was bad at math? i felt that

#asks

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sugarmaplewings-fics · 4 years

Text

Can I Sleep With You Tonight?

Pairing: Tamaki Amajiki x reader

Warnings: None, extremely fluffy times with our anxious boi

★ ★ ★

Tamaki started awake, his body jolting up to a sitting position in his bed. He'd been dreaming, and the shock of it had disturbed his sleep. He caught his breath, still wrapped in a blanket while he fought back trembles. Glancing at his bedside clock, he noticed it was a bit past three AM. He groaned to himself, thinking about his classes later that day and how he needed to get back to sleep so he wouldn't be tired.

He laid himself back down, his head sinking into his pillow, and shut his eyes, trying for sleep. It proved impossible, however; echoes of laughter danced in his head, making him start to shake again.

He racked his brain, trying to think of what he might be able to do to calm himself down. Immediately, he thought of you, your face appearing in his mind. Your bright smile, which reminded him of the sun, made him smile as well, his eyes still shut. But then the laughter started up again, your voice now joining theirs.

Tamaki sat up again. He couldn't go on like this. He needed to sleep. He could feel how tired he was. The only problem was that he couldn't shake his nightmare from his mind.

He let himself think about you again, remembering how you comforted him whenever he was anxious, how your gentle touch could bring him back to reality and soothe his mind. He hugged himself, trying to imagine it was your arms wrapping around him.

A new thought struck him. What if he went over to your room?

He almost instantly nixed it, thinking that you would be upset. Just because he was awake so early didn't mean you had to be. Besides, it was just a dream. You would think less of him, his brain told him. To be so upset over something as little as a dream . . . .

Tamaki laid himself down yet again, squeezing his eyes shut, willing for his mind to fall back into slumber. But he couldn't stop thinking about it, how everyone had been staring at him, his throat closing shut until he couldn't breathe or speak—

Tamaki steeled his nerves to the best of his ability. He stood beside his bed, lingering for a moment before grabbing his blanket and wrapping it around himself. The warmth was comforting to him, and it helped him to silently make his way to the door out of his room.

He quietly crept into the hallway. It was dimly lit for the night, so he was able to make it to your door relatively easily. Luckily your dorm room was in the same hallway as his, so he didn't have to risk taking the elevator.

Tamaki stopped outside your door, reading and rereading your name posted at the side of its frame to make sure he wasn't going crazy and knocked on the wrong person's door. Now he was just standing there like he had no idea what to do. He chewed on his lip, raising his fist to knock on your door.

He lowered it again quickly. Maybe this was a bad idea. You probably didn't want to see him right now. He turned to walk back to his room but then stopped after a few steps. No. He'd made it this far. He wouldn't get anywhere just going back to his room.

He came back and raised his hand once again. Then his anxiety began to take over, once again. His stomach clenched and his brain went fuzzy with fear. His raised fist started trembling, softly landing against the door without a sound. He stood there with his hand pressed against the door, frozen for a minute.

He squeezed his eyes shut again. He was going to do this. Tamaki reminded himself how kind you were, how gentle, how often you told him you loved him. He smiled to himself at a new thought. Even if you were mad at him, you were too nice to really do anything.

He moved his hand against your door, softly knocking.

★ ★ ★

You were enveloped in darkness, your mind peacefully swirling as the concept of nothingness truly dawned upon your being. You were at peace, softly sleeping until a knock at your door jarred you from your repose.

You cracked open your eyes, blinking into a new darkness, this one gently illuminated by an alarm clock on your bedside table, which read 3:27 AM. You sighed, rubbing your hands over your face and turned over. Silence blanketed the room once again, and you began to wonder if you really had heard anything in the first place when the knocking came again.

This time you sat up, grumbling to yourself as you threw off your blanket. Who could possibly want you at this hour? They better have a darn good reason.

You stumbled over to the door, unlocking it with a click and cracking it open. A figure stood in the dimly lit hallway, hunched over and wrapped in a blanket. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust and your brain to catch up, but you quickly recognized the bowed form as your boyfriend.

"Tamaki?" you whispered, sleep tainting your voice. "What are you doing here?" You didn't even try to suppress your yawn.

He shifted his weight, beginning to fidget with his fingers. "I, um, wanted to see you."

You stared at him. "Right now? You couldn't wait until breakfast?"

You couldn't see his face, but something told you you had made him a bit upset. "I can go. I'm sorry I woke you up." He started to back away, but now you were beginning to realize how rude you were being.

"No, Tama, I'm sorry. Here, come on, I'm already awake anyway."

He froze, standing a couple steps from your doorway, trying to decide whether or not he should accept your invitation. You opened the door wider, standing to the side as you motioned with your arm for him to enter. Tamaki finally stepped forward, entering your room, allowing you to shut your door behind him. Your back was turned to him while you locked it and you suddenly felt arms wrap around your waist from behind.

You started a bit at first, not expecting the contact, but soon enough melted back into your boyfriend. "So why did you come to me?" you asked, your voice low.

Tamaki squeezed you tighter, burying his nose into the crook of your neck. "I . . . had a bad dream."

You let out a breath, a soft smile appearing on your features. So that was it. You turned yourself around to hug him back, inserting your arms under his blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. "You're safe now," you cooed. "It can't hurt you. Do you want to talk about it?"

Tamaki swallowed. "I-I had to give a speech in front of the whole school. And then all of a sudden, my voice just stopped working. It was like I was sick and I couldn't say anything. And then everyone started laughing at me because I was just standing there. It was horrible." His voice shook as he spoke, conveying how upset he was.

You tightened your embrace around him, mulling over what he'd said in your mind. "That does sound pretty bad. So did you want to sleep with me tonight?"

You felt him nod.

"Alright. Let's get you in bed." You kept your voice low and soothing, trying to keep him as calm as he could be after his dream. You walked him over to your bed, letting him lay down. You fixed the blankets so the one he had brought could be on top and got under with him. He rolled to his side, facing away from you allowing you to spoon him, intertwining your legs with his as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. You allowed your hands to wander up and down his torso, stroking his arm gently while you whispered into his oddly pointed ear.

"You're alright now, Tamaki. I've got you." You kissed the tip of his ear. "You don't have anything to worry about."

You felt his breaths begin to even out, contrasting the shallow, hitching respirations he normally took while he was awake. Your bodies were warm, pressed against each other. The combination of the darkness and warmth, followed by your boyfriend's steady heartbeat, made your eyelids grow even heavier than they were before. You allowed your whispers to trail off into gentle hums, before they stopped entirely.

The two of you slept peacefully, your minds floating together in the sea of dark nothingness that is sleep.

★ ★ ★

@kingtamakimurder idk if you’ll see this, but I heard you were interested in some Tamaki fics and I made one 👀

Thanks to everyone else who read this! I appreciate each and every one of you!

-Sugar

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makiswirl · 3 years

Note

Question for the q&a: Do you have any authors that have influenced your writing?

oh god DEFINITELY. there's some specific ones out there where i've looked at their writing and went "wow, i'm taking your writing style" but it's mostly published book authors? there are obvi some fma fic authors that've inspired me tho! putting this under a read more for yalls sanity

1. definitely stephen king! i mentioned it in the notes for chapter 14 of hölle but around that time i read the shining and i was in LOVE. there were specific things you could probably nitpick and go "wow that seems kind of new" at in that chapter and that would be because i pretty much.. looked at the writing in there and got Super Inspired.

when i was writing hölle it was my first Big Fic (patent pending) and i did NOT have a consistent writing style. like. at all. 90% of it was me improving my writing skills as i went and actually getting used to writing fics??? hence a lot of.. hiatus time and...... not very good scheduling or drafting.......... ...

so when i read the shining i went (!!!) BECAUSE I WAS FIXATING ON IT SUPER HARD like. watching the obscure MINI-SERIES hard. i still kind of am but i specifically noticed the way king seemed to exaggerate thoughts in a very specific way

and i RAN with that. this specifically shows in holes and i thought it worked pretty well for the genre

at the time??? also especially apt because i like. literally just reread the shining. like i finished the day i wrote holes chapter 3 and that's why it was more heavy theme-wise i think???? BUT EITHER WAY stephen king's writing (particularly in the shining) inspired me a hell of a lot!

2. john boyne! i reread the boy in the striped pajamas recently and. BOY i am so sad still. definitely wasn't as influential writing-wise but theres small influences here and there? specifically in the way i structure sentences i think & GOD how i love the ending of that book. like. it drives me to tears every time

whenever i reread the ending of the book i think of how STRONGLY it was written? like. the words were really impressing and strong and i kind of wanted to mimic that in my writing whenever the mood fit and i can really only think of the time being where i utilized that being the ending of holes? i don't really like the ending sentences of the fic itself but i remember thinking about skimming over the epilogue again when it came to writing the last bit

3. william shakespeare is super fucking funny to put on here but like. i'm currently taking pre-college classes and we reread romeo and juliet and some other sonnets that he wrote and ive like. never recovered since lmao

i can't state THAT much that i drew from him because i have brainfog from the entire past year but i remember the class heavily focused on refreshing us on poetry? like. we went over the old freshman year poets (edgar allen poe was also pretty "!!! urge to write !!! but wow hes kinda fucked up!!!!!!!!" tho specifically /w the raven and annabel lee when it came to me writing) and despite how incoherent that sentence sounds idk there was just SOMETHING abt that entire course that made me want to start writing a lot the professor was just super good i loved her come home 💔

4. OKAY SO FOR FMA FIC AUTHORS. i've read a LOT of fics (like ive been through the entire parental roy and edling tags consecutively) so it's.. very hard to keep track... ... there're a few that definitely stand out tho!

* alightintheshadows i remember specifically being like. one of the first fma fic authors i read from and their stuff is GREAT. someone please tell me if they have a tumblr because i want to gush about their content so bad it's so good but like. i think they're what got me INTO writing fma fics in the first place? especially horror/plot-heavy stuff like that? i first read the cult on ff.net and i would NOT shut up about it for like. a week. i got super excited when their fics came over to ao3 and im pretty sure you can still see them quite a bit in my rec bookmarks

* DEFINITELY @liathgray i love cece so much they're so nice and i'm glad i've gotten to talk to them it's unreal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think they're one of the authors who actually made me actually go "oh. wow the fandom is still alive!!!" when i was going thru ao3 after i watched both fmas last summer because i'm.. pretty sure giants in the forest was still going on iirc? that fic's definitely what dragged me into the hyperfixation and interacting /w the fandom super hard lol

also i just REALLY like blackwell springs????? can we talk about blackwell springs because blackwell springs is my SHIT.

like i get that these r all probably common picks for author inspos but i remember also being around for it when it first came out -> the end and i loved it sm and i got so excited EVERY time it updated. like i would liveblog it to my boyfriend or read it really fast half-asleep before driving to class and i'd shove it into his FACE. 90% sure that fic's what either struck me to write hölle or keep writing it (i can't remember when it originally came out???) but i really need to get on reading whatever series capra's part of even tho i don't particularly like crossover stuff bc i see it Everywhere and it looks so good

i think that's all??? there's definitely a lot of other authors that i've looked at and went "!!!" but my brain is.. so empty from dumping all of this.. hope this answers ur question tho!!!! ignore any typos i just feel very strongly ok but in like the best way possible ♥

#pip.txt #answering machine #holle #long post #like a REALLY long post #guess this half counts as book and fic recs in hindsight

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heyyyharry · 4 years

Text

Chapter 14: To The Boy Next Door

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which they play a game.

Word count: 4.7k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

ANNOUNCEMENT: The last chapter was supposed to be released on July 1, BUT I have two final exams on that same week, so I’ll have no choice but to move the schedule forward.

Last My Girl update: July 8, 2020. (July 3: Tumblr preview and full chapter on Patreon).

One year later

“Come in.”

When Asher entered the room, Gemma almost didn’t recognize him. He’d got a beard now, and he wasn’t wearing a suit. If she hadn’t known the charming Asher in the past, she would be so shocked to find out he was the CEO’s son. Too bad she didn’t care enough to wonder what had happened to him after his business had gone bankrupt because his father had refused to finance it. Now he was just a regular accountant.

His eyes went wide when he saw her sitting with his dad in the CEO office.

Hello, Asher, she thought, yet gave him nothing but a polite nod as if they were meeting for the first time.

“Asher, I suppose you remember Gemma?” asked his father with a sigh.

“Yes,” Asher mumbled, his gaze falling to the floor.

Of course he remembered her. Abusers always remembered their victims.

His dad looked from him back to Gemma. Hands folded on the desk, he said, “Gemma is our new COO. I hope you will have no trouble working for her.”

Asher’s head jerked up as if he’d just heard a gunshot. And Gemma, of course, was the one holding the gun.

She relished his astonishment and cracked a smile as she rose from her seat and walked toward him. She extended her hand, but he didn’t take it.

“Working for her?” he asked his dad, who replied with a stern expression.

“Yes. She’s your new boss.”

Gemma broke into a smirk, still holding out her hand in the space between them. Asher’s eyes had grown so big they nearly took over his entire face. “You,” he hissed at her, “I can't believe you weaselled your way into this company.”

“Oh, no.” Gemma frowned pretentiously and dropped her hand down to her side. “I’ve been a shareholder for almost a year. I’ve done more for this company in that short amount of time than you have your whole life.”

He thinned his lips and glared at her, unable to muster a single word.

She hated him but respected his father. And what was better as revenge than making sure she took everything he wanted? First, his father’s affection. Soon, his father’s company.

“I don’t want to make this unpleasant for you, Asher,” her voice dropped so low as she leaned in so only the two of them could hear. “Or maybe I do. So you better be a nice employee, because I wouldn't be sorry to kick you out of here.”

His face dimmed as she stepped away. If there was a camera, she’d take a picture and put it in a frame. Though she doubted this would be the last time she got to see that defeated look on his face.

"See you around, Ash," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she breezed right past him out of the room.

Two interns, a blonde and a dark-skinned girl, rose from their cubicles and rushed up to her as she was heading for the lift.

“Excuse me,” the blonde said timidly. “Are you...our new COO?”

“Y-Yes, yes, I am.” Gemma worked up a smile and the girls giggled to each other like teenagers.

“Congratulations and welcome!” said the dark-skinned one, who said her name was Marie and her friend was Claria. Gemma assumed they were going to fangirl about her brother, but then Marie said, “We love your sister-in-law’s book. We’re such big big fans.”

It took Gemma a second. “Y/N? She and Harry aren’t–”

“Future sister-in-law,” Claria corrected her friend, looking nervously from Marie back to Gemma. “We’ve...heard some rumours. Can you confirm or deny it?”

“I cannot. But I’ll let her know about you girls.”

The girls grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and Gemma could tell they were trying their best not to freak out. She waved them goodbye and hastened into the lift before the door closed.

Her phone buzzed with a new text.

Isey: Lunch? :)

Lunch :) she replied, biting back a grin.

Another notification popped up. A reply from Harry's girl. Gemma rolled her eyes as she remembered lending Harry her phone a couple of weeks ago. He'd changed most names in her contacts and she'd only managed to change back a few of them.

Harry's girl: Thanks for the birthday wish, Gem! (heart emoji)

You're welcome! Is Harry coming home today?

Harry's girl: I hope not. But idk.

We never know. How can you STAND him? Ugh.

Harry's girl: I can't lol.

Harry's girl: Anyway, what was his reaction?

Gemma knew right away whom Y/N was talking about.

Priceless, she responded.

Harry's girl: QUEEN. Make his life a living hell.

Oh I will. Certainly.

The door slid open with a ding, and Gemma tucked the phone into her bag. Her assistant was waiting outside to direct her to her new office. With a smile on her face, she stepped out of the lift and shook the assistant's hand.

She was so ready for this new beginning.

“Good aaaaaafternoon, girlfriend! Are you feeling twenty-two?”

Y/N laughed hoarsely as she blinked a few times to let her vision get used to the light from the windows opposite the bed. “You’re embarrassing,” she said, yawning.

On the phone, Harry gasped. “Did you just wake up?!”

“I stayed up all night talking to you and had a zoom meeting with Laura this morning. Besides, it’s Sunday.”

“It’s your birthday.”

“Duh.” She grinned at the ceiling and exhaled. “I’m twenty-two now. I’m like...old.”

“Ouch. Well, aren’t you supposed to get ready for the book signing?”

“Book signing is tomorrow. Bad boyfriend.”

The sound of his laugh made her heart leap. She missed him so much. He’d been in New York for two weeks and wouldn’t be back until next Thursday, which meant she’d have to spend this birthday without him. She wasn’t sure if she should let him know she wished he were here. She really did. But she also didn’t want him to drop everything and fly back to her for only one night. He’d done that before and it'd been romantic, still, she never wanted him to do it again.

“To prove that I’m not a bad boyfriend,” he said, snapping her back to the moment. “I have a surprise for you.”

She sat up straight and whipped her head to the door. “Goddamn it, Harry,” she huffed, “if you tell me you’re standing right outside–”

“No!” He burst out laughing. “No, no, no, I’m still in New York.”

She sighed in relief, but couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.

“My surprise is in the pocket of my favourite suit,” he said.

She had no idea what he might have up his sleeves (quite literally). Still, she rolled out of bed, shoved her feet into her slippers, and padded out of the room.

Two years ago on this same day, he’d brought her to the roof of an abandoned building, where they’d watched the night city and eaten his homemade cupcakes. On her twenty-first birthday, they hadn’t been talking. And so this year, she’d suspected that he must have planned something extravagant to surprise her, even though he wasn’t home to celebrate with her. The surprise had come a bit earlier than expected.

She switched on the light in the walk-in closet, which was as large as her old flat. His favourite suit was the one he’d worn on Grammy’s night. Sparkling dark velvet to match the aesthetic of her silvery mermaid gown, which, unfortunately, she hadn’t got a chance to show off to the world.

She stuck her hand into the breast pocket of the jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Found it."

“Go on. Read it,” he encouraged.

“If it says ‘Happy Birthday, smiley face’, I’ll strangle you when you come back.”

A laugh burst right through him. “Your choking kink is getting out of hand, babe.”

“Shut up.” She huffed, unfolding the note. “Should have said I loved you,” she read aloud. “What does that mean?”

“You can ask for my help only once. Call me when you’ve found the fifth clue.”

“Wait!”

But he’d already hung up.

She almost called him back but then decided not to. She didn't want to waste her only chance to ask for help.

Classic treasure hunt, she thought, rereading the sentence.

The prize would be her birthday present for sure. Maybe he’d hidden it in the wood somewhere. A normal boyfriend would just have the birthday present delivered, or leave it on the table or in the garage, not challenge his girlfriend’s two only active brain cells with a children’s game. But Y/N wasn’t a normal girlfriend. And as much as she hated working for something other than her writing, a part of her was excited.

“Should have said I loved you,” she thought out loud, then snapped her fingers and rushed across the hallway to his library.

Two years ago, she’d told him she’d loved him for the first time and received silence in return. In this very room, he’d watched her leave.

She stood in front of the giant bookcase, which he’d had installed a month after she’d officially moved in. Most of these books were from her collection. On a shelf in the middle stood three framed photos of them. Them in Paris. Them with their families on a vacation last summer. Them at her graduation.

She flipped each frame over to check the back, but none had what she was looking for. She tapped her foot impatiently on the carpet while assessing the rest of the bookcase. It didn’t take her too long to notice that one book was upside down.

P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern.

Of course. Of-fucking-course.

She rolled her eyes, feeling a smile stretching her lips as she took the book from the shelf and opened it to the first page. There was a post-it note that said:

Congrats, babe. You’ve found it. Next clue: Where the magic happens ;)

‘Where the magic happens.’ If it wasn’t sexual, the winky face had made sure that it was.

Could it be their bed? Nope. She'd slept there last night.

Could it be the first place they’d had sex?

Could the next clue be inside that car?

She jolted with a start and dashed out of the library, and as soon as she reached the stairs, she suddenly halted.

No. She didn’t remember which car they’d had sex in for the first time, and he’d got a whole collection of cars. It’d take forever to search every single one. That wasn’t the right answer.

Sighing, she stood on the first stair and contemplated the clue again.

They used to play Treasure Hunt when they were younger. There were usually at least five or six clues, and the first three should be easy.

Could it be her flat? Most of their ‘secret relationship’ had happened in her flat. It used to be their secret kingdom. Impenetrable. Disconnected to the outside world. They’d also had their second real kiss outside her door, and she still had until the end of this month before she must return the keys to the landlord.

She wasn’t sure, and she wasn’t going to drive all the way there just to find out she was wrong.

And so she decided to call him.

“Let me guess,” he said as soon as the beeping stopped. “You’re either super impatient or your fairy godmother appeared and helped you find all five clues.”

She rolled her eyes. “Third clue. Is it your car or my flat?”

“My car?” He sounded confused, which gave her the impression that she might have got it wrong.

Her cheeks burnt as she said, “We had sex for the first time in your car.”

“No, not my car, but damn, I should have thought of that.”

“So it’s my flat?”

“Are you sure you want to ask me now?”

“Yes.”

“Yes,” he smugly confirmed. “It’s your flat. Now you’re on your own until the final clue.”

“Fuck,” she grunted and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I thought you’d have trouble with this one, too. I mean, we fuck everywhere these days.”

“If my birthday present isn’t worth all this, we won’t be fucking ever again.”

He gasped at the threat, and she could picture him wearing that stupid crooked smile as he told her, “Good luck, kid. I believe in you.”

She found the next clue on Thumper’s lap.

When she’d moved most of her furniture to Harry’s house, she’d forgotten to take the purple stuffed bunny with her. She held it under her arm and scrutinized the pink post-it note, which said:

I cannot believe you left Thumper behind. Third clue: Drunk little deer.

“Drunk little deer? What does that even mean?” Then she looked at Thumper. “Should I kick him in the balls when I see him?”

She made the rabbit nod and burst out laughing at how crazy she sounded. If anyone walked in and saw her talking to a stuffed animal, they would assume she was either crazy or drunk.

Drunk.

She was the drunk little deer. Drunk Bambi.

The answer was the place he'd seen her drunk for the first time.

Andrew recognized Y/N right from the moment she stepped into the pub. He leaned over the counter and shouted for everyone to hear, “Little girl! Good to see you again!”

“Andrew," she smiled and shouldered her way towards the bar.

He eyed her up and down as she slid onto one of the stools. “You look different. I hope you’re not here to drink again. I might have to kick you out.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You look different, too. I like your new hair.”

Andrew rubbed his shiny bald head, scowling at her as she raised a smile and rested her chin on her knuckles. Andrew might look intimidating, especially now without his hair, but he was one of the softest people she’d ever met. He’d been so kind to her during her tough times and even let her haunt his pub day and night until Harry had come for the rescue.

“You’re kind of famous now, aren’t you?” Andrew said. “I’ve read your book. It didn’t suck.”

“You have?”

He lifted one giant shoulder of his, pursing his lips. “My wife made me. She's a big fan. Your boyfriend came two weeks ago and he even signed the book for her. He said he was the one in the story.”

“My boyfriend was here?”

Andrew gave a nod.

The voices in Y/N's head started cheering like she’d just won a wrestling match. It would have been so embarrassing if she'd asked Andrew first and then found out she'd got it wrong.

“Well, did he leave...something for me? A message perhaps?”

Andrew growled as he turned away, and without a word, disappeared through a stained curtain behind him. He came back five minutes later and handed her a green post-it note with an unreadable grimace on his face.

She snatched it immediately. A laugh crackled out of her as if he’d just given her gold.

Hi babe, you’re almost there! My biggest fans (not you) have the final clue. Get back to work.

“He gave this to me when he signed the book,” Andrew said.

Y/N mumbled the words over as she tried to figure them out. Her first guess for ‘biggest fans (not you)’was Gemma and Isaac. But then she got rid of the idea because they had to be at the same place at the same time in order for this to work, and Gem and Isaac were both at work.

Which two people were together right now and were also Harry’s biggest fans?

‘Get back to work.’

Yes. That’s it!

Y/N thrust the post-it note into her bag and rose from the stool. “I’m sorry. This must be weird to you.”

“It’s quite romantic, actually," Andrew said.

“Really?”

“And weird. You two are both weird. What a perfect couple.”

“Gee, thanks.”

As she spun on her heels, Andrew called after her, “Hey, little girl. I’m sorry I said you weren’t a real writer.”

“You said that?”

“You were drunk,” he chuckled. “Anyway, bring your weird boyfriend back sometimes.”

“I will. If there’s free beer.”

“Get out of here.” He shot his finger toward the door, but it was the first time she’d seen Andrew smile with his whole face.

Eddie’s bookshop was busy on most Sundays. Well, it had been busy almost every day since Y/N had credited him in her latest best-selling debut novel.

She entered the shop and was immediately recognized by a group of schoolgirls, who asked her to sign their new copies of her book and questioned her about the story. She recycled the same amiable answers that didn’t give away any more than what they might already know. Since she’d already got used to the attention, the fans didn’t intimidate her anymore.

She took a selfie with the girls and bid them goodbye. Then one of the new employees told her that Eddie and Alice were sorting books at the back. She wandered along aisles until she found them. Eddie was scolding Alice for putting hardcovers in between paperbacks. Nothing got on Eddie’s nerves as much as putting hardcovers in between paperbacks.

“The hardcovers take more shelf-space so you cannot put them there! God, Alice, were you drunk when you were sorting these books?”

“I wish I were drunk now,” Alice said, and her eyes lit up as she saw Y/N. She nearly tackled Y/N to the floor with a violent hug, and Y/N returned with half as much enthusiasm.

“You’re like a Golden Retriever,” Y/N said, pulling back and cupping her friend’s face.

“Happy birthday! I was gonna send you–”

Eddie didn’t wait for Alice to finish as he pushed her aside to step forward, his face brightened like the sun. “You’re here for the clue, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I–”

“We can’t just hand it to you.” That sun-like face suddenly turned serious. “You need a password. What is Harry’s favourite book?”

Y/N arched an eyebrow at Eddie as if expecting him to say ‘gotcha!’ But he only mirrored her expression as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.

“Seriously?” Y/N scoffed, looking at her two friends. “He’s that narcissistic?”

Alice smirked as she raised a shoulder. “Either you answer or search this entire bookshop yourself.”

“I fucking hate him and I fucking hate both of you.” Y/N rolled her eyes upward and exhaled sharply. “Norwegian Wood.”

“Huh?”

“That’s his favourite book,” she told Alice and remembered Alice didn’t read fiction unless it was compulsory. “Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.”

Eddie looked confused. “He loves Haruki Murakami? His books are misogynistic.”

“Harry’s got a bad taste in authors. But judging from your reactions, I suppose that is not the correct answer, and I should probably break up with my boyfriend because I don’t know what his favourite book is.”

“You do, Y/N.” Alice beamed as she leaned a shoulder against the bookcase. “You’re thinking too big. It’s pretty simple.”

“Shit. Is it my book?” Y/N asked, then pinched the bridge of her nose as Eddie began to smile. “Goddamn it, he’s like my dad times ten.”

“What did your dad do?” Eddie asked.

“He bought a bunch of copies of my book and sent them to our relatives for Christmas. It was pretty embarrassing.”

“Aww.”

“ALICE!”

“Jesus Christ!” Alice covered her ears as she shot Eddie a glare. “I’m standing right next to you.”

“Go get the clue!” Eddie flicked his fingers at her. “Go! Hurry!”

Alice rolled her eyes and flipped him off as she backed out of the aisle. Eddie ignored her and turned back to Y/N, grinning from ear to ear like he was the birthday girl. “Are you excited?”

“Not as much as you are. That’s for sure,” Y/N said and made sure he knew she was joking by giving him a toothy grin.

“I’m not gonna tell you what the surprise is, you know.”

“I’m not asking.”

Eddie’s laugh was high as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “What I can tell you is that you’re gonna love it. Too bad I cannot be there to see your reaction.”

“Trust me,” she said. “You don’t wanna see me scold Harry through the phone.”

Alice returned with a copy of My Girl and handed it to Y/N with a smile that possibly meant, ‘You’re gonna love this’.

Suspicious and somewhat elated, Y/N opened the book to the dedication page.

To Mum, Dad, and the boy next door.

Those were her words. Below was his handwriting: Hi my love :)

Curious, she turned to the first chapter. This wasn’t just another copy of her book, of which she’d got all the different covers at home. With this one, Harry had done the same thing he’d done to her journal. His handwriting was scattered across the pages. He’d underlined all the quotes he’d enjoyed and left comments about them on the side.

Y/N heard Eddie say something about how he would never write in books and Alice immediately shush him for being rude. Y/N never wrote in books, either, but she loved reading Harry’s handwritten notes. It felt like he was reading the story with her. The butterflies in her stomach went wild just from imagining him taking his time writing on each page and grinning at his own jokes. If this was the birthday surprise, she could not ask for anything more.

However, she knew he had to be more extra than this.

And there it was. Proof that this was not the surprise. On the very last page, he wrote:

Meet me where the sky meets the earth.

“Where the sky meets the earth?” she thought out loud and glanced up at Eddie, who responded with a shrug. Alice did, too. Y/N didn’t think they were lying. Harry must have told them what the surprise was, but not the answers to these cryptic messages.

Eddie patted her on the back as he wished her good luck and shooed Alice back to the front to assist the customers. Y/N was left behind to work it out on her own. She leaned against the bookcase, pondering over the words.

Hadn’t Harry said she was allowed to call him when she reached the fifth clue?

She tucked the book under her arm and pulled out the phone from the pocket of her jeans.

“Hi, babe!”

“I’ve got the fifth clue,” she blurted. “What do I do now?”

“I don’t know. Solve it?”

“Yes, smartarse. The answer is, I don’t know.”

“You’re not even thinking.”

“You said you’d help me!”

“I said I’d help you once,” he countered. “And I did. I told you to call me just so I know when you’ve reached the final clue.”

“So you’re not gonna help me with this one?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I can give you a hint. What do all the places you’ve visited today have in common?”

She chewed on her lip, an arm folded over her chest. “They’re memories,” she whispered.

“That’s right,” he whispered back, like they didn’t want anyone to overhear their conversation. “This last place is a memory as well. Where the sky meets the earth. Think, kid.”

She pouted. “Can I please get another hint?”

“You don’t get to talk in a cute voice and manipulate me, Bambi,” he sighed. “Fine. Our first date.”

“Holmes Chapel?!”

He said nothing and hung up.

It took Y/N a few seconds, but she believed she’d got the answer.

She took the lift and climbed four sets of stairs to the roof.

Adrenaline buzzed right through her, causing her hands to shake and her heart to pound against her ribcage. The metal was cold against her fingertips as she pawed the heavy door open slowly. It was unlocked.

The cold wind gushed in, blowing her hair out of her face as she stepped into the night. The city of London gleamed before her eyes. Where the sky meets the earth. This was where they could see stars high above and down below.

And there he was. Waiting for her with that smug crooked grin on his stupid face.

“Hi,” he said.

Oh, how she’d missed his stupid beautiful face.

She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket and ambled forward, still thinking him being here was too good to be true.

He lifted both hands like a surrendered criminal, both eyebrows raised as he said, “Before you get angry, I can explain.”

“Please do,” she demanded but found herself smiling.

With the wind in his hair, dimples on his cheeks and city light in his eyes, he looked absolutely breathtaking. She couldn’t hate him even if she tried.

Harry exhaled unsteadily through his mouth before mumbling, “Here I go,” and then he was on his knee in front of her.

She didn’t react when he took her cold hand and pressed it against his warm chest. She could feel his heart beating almost in sync with her own.

“Are you surprised?” he asked, chuckling nervously.

She exhaled a quiet laugh and said, “Yes, but also no.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Because I warned you this would happen?”

“Because you warned me this would happen.” Her mouth curved at the corner as she recalled the Oscar night in his LA house, both of them drunk, him on his knee like this, a promise, and how in love she’d felt, almost as much as she did in this very moment.

“Is this too early or too late?” he ventured.

“This is perfect.”

She pressed her lips into a smile, and his green eyes flickered in the semi-darkness. “Well then.” He straightened his back. “Y/N ‘Bambi’ Y/L/N.”

“Yes.” Her voice was so brittle she feared he wouldn’t hear it, her stomach twisted into triple knots, her chest fluttering and her fingers trembling.

He held her gaze as the corner of his mouth arched. “Will you…”

“I swear to God if you’re jok–”

“Marry me,” he blurted, panting as though saying those words had drained all the energy out of him. “Marry me. I want to annoy you for the rest of my life. I want every fight, every laugh, every up and down, every kiss, every touch, everything about you. I will love you until all my teeth fall out, until you finally learn to cook–”

“I’ll never learn to cook.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “Most importantly, I’ll even let you love young Leo a bit more than me, but only sometimes.”

She covered her mouth. What meant to be a laugh came out as a sob.

“I would have written a speech, but I figured you’d roast me for my bad writing, so I’d rather improvise and blame this awful proposal on it being improvised.”

“God, you’re fucking annoying,” she laughed tearily into her hand and he was laughing, too.

Quickly, he got to his feet and tugged her into him. She circled her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest as she inhaled the scent she’d missed achingly in the last two weeks.

“My girl is such a crybaby,” he said, kissing the top of her head, her temple, her ear, her cheek, her forehead. He kissed and held her until she’d calmed down.

“Yes,” she told him at last, lifting her eyes up to his.

“Yes, you’re a crybaby?”

“Yes, you’re a dumbarse and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life roasting you and yes, I’ll sometimes love young Leo more than you but only sometimes, because you’re the greatest love of my life and I cannot imagine a life without you–”

He stopped her with his lips, his hands tenderly cupping her face as his thumbs moved slowly over her chin, cheeks and jawlines. She’d imagined that their first kiss after two weeks apart would be sexually aggressive and against-the-wall hot, but this kiss was slow and sensual and passionate and full of wanting. It felt like his promise for their future together. One that would last.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles series #my girl series

193 notes · View notes

rigelmejo · 3 years

Text

Re-reading hanshe with less word lookup is going well. I'm in section 10 already. I mean that's a long way to go with 209 sections. But if I'm doing 5 a day like rn that's 40 days to read instead of months like before, so with for increased reading speed. If I get up to 10 chapters a day that's 20 days to finish reading this fic which is under a month. Anyway we'll see.

Mostly I'm curious if when I hit 1/3 in, which is where I've read to before, if extensive reading no longer becomes possible because I don't have enough already-studied words for those parts afterward.

It’s interesting rereading because I can also start to tell which words/hanzi throw me off the most. There’s a number of new words I guess/remember quite easily, due to hanzi I remember easily. There’s also a number of 4-hanzi phrases I figure out easily because their hanzi are familiar and similar phrases I’ve already learned. however, STILL the words for suspicious, doubt, hesitate ALL trip me up! If I want to read fast I just guess which one the word means based on context! The hanzi for those 3 words just looks TOO similar to me especially with meanings that to me are also quite similar (if you doubt something you may be suspicious, if you doubt something or are suspicious you may hesitate, so the words are quite similar in meaning in my head).

怀疑 Huáiyí - doubt, suspect, be skeptical

犹豫 yóuyù - to hesitate

犹疑 yóuyí - to hesitate

(you will notice the bottom word uses a hanzi from hesitate, then a second hanzi from doubt, and it makes me confused as all hell as a result whenever I see any of these 3 words because I see hanzi from another similar word and then get lost about which means which).

Anyway, the hanzi I confuse for other hanzi/being part of other words, seem to be the ‘already learned’ words I am clicking the most. Because I’ve seen the word or hanzi many times but STILL the sound has not stuck in my mind so yet again I’m looking up the pronunciation. Like 绸缎 chouduan (silk) and chan (getting tangled/wrapped/involved with with someone/thing) 缠. I see the silk side radical and the enclosure on both (though the enclosures are different), and because they look pretty similar EVERY time I see chou as in silk I want to read it as ‘chan’. About 80% of the time I see that word I have to re-check the pronunciation. Reading extensively is actually helping slightly, in that I think my brain is making more of an effort to remember the pronunciation since I’m trying to be less likely to look something up again so its just got less chances to retain the info. This is the first time in like 6+ months of encountering the word chouduan that the pronunciation is FINALLY sticking in my brain.

Words that have familiar hanzi are much less of a struggle, even when new, and I wonder if my comprehension really is close to 98%? I didn’t measure this fic hanshe, just some novels I had (zhenhun was 95%, dmbj 1 and saye were 98%). But I can tell that if I don’t care about sound, I’m not running into many ‘incomprehensible in context’ words at all, and usually a word or less per paragraph that I full on can’t pronounce or make a good guess for a pronunciation I remember (and those words aren’t necessarily the new ones - so fucking often that word is just youyi huaiyi or youyu ToT lol). My point is... my ability to read aloud has improved, I can actually read quite a bit more hanzi aloud on sight than several months ago. I am practicing reading aloud a little since I have terrible ‘read aloud flow’ right now lol.

Also? Realizing if I read aloud I am almost guaranteed to say every 了 as de by instinct first. I bet thats 1 part that pleco app always reads 的 as di, so I overcorrected in my head with ‘it actually sounds like de in many situations BE aware’ and then now when I see le I just automatically switch into ‘overcorrect di mode’ lol. Another part is I think it might reflect my speaking comfort level a little. Le is not terribly difficult to use for beginner appropriate conversation tasks (like saying “i went to the store” etc) but in conversations idk why I rarely use it or rarely make a mental note when i do use it, so like when I type i am well aware its something i write without then realize i skipped and put back in. So its interesting to me when reading and inner-vocalizing or speaking aloud, my brain is actually still doing the same thing as my writing pattern - skipping the word then only adding it back in if i realize i skipped it.

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Hanshe getting easier over time also speaks to the difficulty of priest novels like? While i love them and will trudge through? The language in hanshe used to be peak too much for me it would take me 1.5 to 2 hours to finish a chapter. And priest wasn't even doable. Then eventually I could read tianyake in 1-2 hour chapters then eventually in 20-30 min. Eventually I could read hanshe again in 10-20 minute chapters. But like - however difficult hanshe is, priests writing is harder to read. Priest just has more unknown words per page for me.

I am wondering when priest’s writing will go from doable to a bit easier than just doable, the way hanshe did. Probably a long way off (and I’m aiming for zhenhun and modu, I suspect sha po lang and can ci pin will take much longer as they’re genres I don’t read).

On the topic of genres: I may read tangstory’s 2 novels that are sequels - one historical court, one republican era. Those are two genres I don’t read, but I do watch shows in those genres so learning some of the genre words would fall in line with things I would LIKE to eventually read. Tangstory’s stories are on the shorter side (much shorter than hanshe or zhenhun dang) and show as like 35 sections in my reader app (compared to 209 ToT). They have lovely english translations if I do need clarification or just want to read them later, and again those genres are ones I should get more familiar with.

Other options for reading for more genres: Qi Ye for more historical/court vibe language, and Tian Ya Ke when I’m ready again for its wuxia language - but both of these require me braving a full priest story which. I don’t want to start anything right now that will take more than 2 months to read. Upside is these both have nice translations to refer to, downside is I need to be able to read priest easier to tackle them. And if I’m reading priest easier I may go right for Zhenhun (both because its a goal novel of mine to read and because I know a lot more supernatural/modern words).

For detective novels, I’d like to branch out into maybe SCI Mystery (seems closer to my reading level except for the detective terms which I should learn), Ding Mo novels (like the one Love me if You Dare is based on) since Ding Mo has been recced to me and the reading level isn’t too high, PoYun (but the reading level IS around MoDu and I can TELL - but I think it opens with more vocabulary I should learn and am unfamiliar with as far as detective stories/police/action and weaponry words).

I want to branch into something easier as a first sci fi novel, but I can’t think of any I want to read except C语言修仙 and 残次品. On a guess, I’d say the first novel is probably easier if ONLY because its 2 print books instead of 4 ToT. Also Can Ci Pin has gratuitous variety of names and I think as a cultivator novel maybe Cyuyanxiuxian will have more of a modern-like one country setting with less new terms to learn (versus Can Ci Pin with new planets, names, spaceships and tech, mech suits, mutant and disease terminology, govt terms, etc).

#september #september progress #if u read the rant notes like this and u are not me then congrats ur ability to sift through a mess is <3 #these are mostly notes on the learning process #in case one day into japanese i wonder how reading skills progress #i'll be encouraged knowing this is how the process went before in another language #or if i hit another plateau in chinese. these kinds of posts help me figure out #what worked last time or what weak spots i neglected that i could work on still

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