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stevethehairington · 1 year

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i love you prompts: 98 w/ romantic steddie? 😌

lou!! thank you for sending this in!! ooh this is a good one!!

98. "Take a deep breath"

It’s late when the credits finally start to roll onscreen.

Steve guesses it’s sometime close to midnight, or maybe a little after, but he’d taken his watch off earlier before he’d gotten elbow deep in dirty dish water, cleaning up after the mess they somehow managed to make whipping up a simple dinner of grilled cheese and tomato soup. It sits on the kitchen counter, all the way across the room, and the nearest clock in the Munson trailer hangs beside the phone, too far away for Steve to see from his spot on the couch.

He can’t exactly twist in his place to try and catch a better glimpse of it, or get up to fetch his watch either. Not while Eddie leans up against his side, arms crossed over his chest and neck bent awkwardly so his head can rest against Steve’s shoulder, fast asleep.

When they first put the movie on, the two of them had started off on opposite ends of the already pretty small couch, but as it progressed, they’d gradually shifted closer and closer — in the name of sharing popcorn easier, to whisper their movie commentary directly into each other’s ears rather than speak over the film, and, eventually, so it seems, so that Eddie could use Steve as a pillow.

Not that Steve minded or anything. He liked it, in fact — likes it. Likes having Eddie so close, likes feeling the warmth of his body pressing up against his own, likes the fact that Eddie is comfortable enough with him to let his guard down like this.

Eddie hasn’t been sleeping all that well as of late, so when his head tipped onto Steve’s shoulder a little over half an hour ago, Steve just slouched a little lower to ease the angle of his neck and reached for the remote to turn down the volume. It had been a little hard for him to hear it after that, but he hadn’t really paid it much attention after that point anyways.

Now, though, the movie is over, and it’s late enough that Steve’s verging on overstaying his welcome. He knows he should probably wake Eddie so he can let him know that he’s going and say his goodbyes and head out.

But Eddie just looks way too peaceful. Steve doesn’t want to wake him.

Instead, he decides that he can just leave a note. In case Eddie does wake up to find him gone. He’ll know nothing bad happened to Steve, just that he went home for the night and that they’ll see each other tomorrow — because chances are they will. They hardly went a day without spinning into each other’s orbits now.

Except, Steve doesn’t want to just leave Eddie on the couch either. He knows from personal experience that the Munson’s sofa is not exactly the most comfortable thing ever. Every time he falls asleep on it, he wakes up with a crick in his neck and an ache in his back. He doesn’t want that for Eddie.

His bedroom isn’t far, just down the hall, and Steve will feel a lot better if he gets Eddie to his bed before he leaves. So, he does his best to maneuver out from beneath Eddie, cradling his head as he removes it from his shoulder and lowers it to the cushion instead.

Steve takes a second to roll out his shoulders, then he slips one arm under Eddie’s back and the other behind his knees, which are curled to his side. As carefully as he can, he lifts Eddie from the couch.

Eddie stirs, but he doesn’t wake, thank god. He just smacks his mouth a little and buries his nose into the collar of Steve’s sweater, and Steve lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

Eddie’s lighter than he looks, but still pretty heavy, and Steve doesn’t want to drop him, so he takes it slow as he follows the path towards Eddie’s door at the end of the hall. It’s, thankfully, already open, so all he has to do is kick out a foot to push it wide enough to fit through.

The blinds in Eddie’s room are still fucked up — broken enough that the slats droop down in a way that gives the morning sun the perfect opening to shine right in and wake him up before it’s time. Eddie complains about it constantly, but he hasn’t made any sort of attempt to fix them yet, and right now, Steveis grateful for that. The glow of the moon is bright enough to seep in through the gap, providing just enough gentle light that Steve can see where he’s going.

He makes it to the side of Eddie’s bed without issue, and delicately deposits Eddie onto his mattress. Again, Eddie shifts, rolling slightly onto his side, but he still doesn’t rouse.

The blankets are shoved to the end of Eddie’s bed, and Steve stifles a snort at that as he reaches for them and starts to pull them up and over Eddie’s body. He knows Eddie runs cold, so he takes a moment to tuck the corners in and add an extra blanket to the top so that he’s nice and cozy.

Then, unable to help himself, Steve brushes Eddie’s bangs to the side and leans down to leave a soft ghost of a kiss to his forehead.

He’s just starting to straighten up and pull his hand back when quick fingers dart out to curl around his wrist, trapping him there.

Steve freezes, eyes snapping back open to find Eddie, awake, blinking hazily back up at him.

“Steve?” Eddie asks, groggy, still somewhere halfway in between awake and asleep.

“Hey, yeah, it’s me,” Steve whispers. “You fell asleep, I just brought you to your room so you’d be comfortable,” he tells him.

Eddie smiles then, this sleepy, goopy sort of thing that makes something warm settle in Steve’s chest, and he tugs on Steve’s wrist. “C’mere,” he mumbles, and Steve thinks maybe he has something he wants to tell him.

So he leans in closer.

And closer.

Eddie tips his chin up, and Steve thinks he’s going for his ear, so he can whisper his sleepsoft secret. Only, his mouth doesn’t go anywhere near Steve’s ear. Instead, it lands against his own in a—

In a kiss.

It’s chaste, tender, just the sweet press of lips against lips. It catches Steve off guard at first, but the surprise settles, and Steve is about to let himself melt into it.

Then the moment shatters.

Eddie jerks back, bolting upright as he scrambles far enough back in his bed that he hits the headboard. His eyes are wide open now, fully alert and not a single trace of sleepiness anywhere on his face as he stares at Steve. His hand, the one he’d had around Steve’s wrist just seconds ago, hovers over his own mouth, like he can’t quite believe what it has just done.

“Oh, oh, fuck,” Eddie chokes out. “Shit, shit, shit, I’m so— I didn’t mean to— fuck, you have to— please don’t—”

“Woah, hey, it’s… it’s alright, Eddie,” Steve says, holding his hands out in what he hopes is a placating gesture. He doesn’t come closer, doesn’t want to frighten Eddie further, but he wants Eddie to know that there’s no reason for him to be so scared. He’s not… he’s not mad. Or upset. Or anything that Eddie probably thinks he is right now. Not even close.

Eddie’s words start to fail him as his breathing begins to hitch, and Steve can see the rapidfire rise and fall of his chest. His eyes are on Steve, but he’s not looking at him. He’s looking through him, like he’s somewhere else right now. Like he’s spiraling into every single bad place his mind can take him right now.

Steve recognizes it for what it is — a panic attack.

“Eddie,” Steve tries, forgetting politeness as he moves to the edge of Eddie’s bed and kneels against the mattress. He reaches out to rest his hand on Eddie’s shoulder — to give him a point of contact, something to focus on. Something to ground him. It’s what usually helps Steve whenever he’s having a panic attack, finding an anchor, to bring him back down.

Eddie’s hand flies out to grasp at Steve’s wrist, and Steve lets him pull it from his shoulder so that he can curl his fingers around Steve’s palm instead. His grip is tight, nails biting into Steve’s skin, but Steve doesn’t care.

“You’re safe,” Steve reassures. “You’re safe and I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie nods, but Steve isn’t so sure his words have reached him. Not when he still looks so panicked, and his breathing is still coming out too fast.

“Hey,” Steve says softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand. “Take a deep breath,” he instructs.

Eddie’s eyes settle onto Steve’s face, still hazy but doing better at focusing. Steve smiles at him, nods encouragingly. “Come on, do it with me, deep breath in.”

Steve makes a show of inhaling again, holding up his fingers to count to three before he starts to let it all back out in an exhale. He goes through it twice before Eddie catches on and starts to mirror him.

They follow the pattern until finally Eddie’s breathing returns to normal and the panic seems to subside.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks, once Eddie’s shoulders slump and his head drops forward, his hair hanging like a curtain around his face. Steve hasn’t let go of Eddie’s hand yet, and he doesn’t plan to.

Eddie lets out a humorless laugh, but he doesn’t look up. “Depends,” he starts. “Are you going to… to fucking… hit me or shout at me or something?”

Steve’s face screws up, mouth tugging down into a hard frown. “What?” He asks. “Why would I do that? Because you had a panic attack?”

Eddie snorts. “No,” he replies, like he can’t believe that’s what Steve thinks this is about. He stays quiet for a second, two, three. Like he can’t quite bring himself to say it. “Because I— because I kissed you,” he finally breathes.

“Oh,” Steve says softly. He watches Eddie for a moment, doesn’t like that he can’t see his face. He wants to see his face. So, with careful fingers, he reaches out to brush Eddie’s hair back, to tuck it behind his ear.

Eddie’s breath catches as he does, and his gaze flickers up to Steve’s, briefly, before fixing firmly on his lap again.

“Eddie,” Steve starts, “I’m not mad that you kissed me.”

It takes a second for his words to sink in.

When they do, Eddie’s head snaps up. His eyes land on Steve’s, wide and surprised and searching. “You’re not?”

Steve shakes his head. Lets a little smile grace his lips. “Nope,” he confirms. “Not one single bit.”

And, well, in for a penny, in for a pound, right? He shuffles a little closer on his knees, presses further into Eddie’s space. “In fact…” he trails off. Does a little searching of his own. “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again,” Steve finishes after he’s sure that Eddie isn’t going to push him away.

Eddie’s eyebrows lift this time, the pull together. Steve wants to smooth out the little wrinkle that forms between them.

“Are you… you’re serious?” Eddie asks.

“Serious as a heart attack,” Steve replies.

The corner of Eddie’s mouth twitches, then a smile breaks out across his face. “Holy shit, you’re serious,” he says, followed by a breathless little laugh.

Steve can’t help but laugh too, and he nods and starts to tug at Eddie’s hand to pull him in this time. “Yeah,” he says. “Now that that’s been established, you think I could get another one?”

Eddie looks at him like he’s won the lottery. “Jesus christ, yes, yes please,” he says, and the hand not caught in Steve’s comes up to bunch into the front of his sweater as he meets him halfway.

It’s a little offcentered, a little overeager on both of their parts, but it’s perfect.

When they break apart, Eddie presses his forehead against Steve’s. “Were you leaving?” He asks.

“I was,” Steve answers. “I don’t want to now,” he admits.

Eddie chuckles and lets go of Steve only just long enough to peel back the covers Steve had so lovingly tucked around him not too long ago.

“So stay,” Eddie says.

With his welcome so graciously extended like that, who is Steve to say no?

So he stays.

100 ways to say i love you prompts

#asks #cheatghost #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #ways to say i love you prompts #mack writes #macks ficlets #oop got a little carried away with this one lol #also i just wrote this all like over the last 2 hours & i did NOT read it over when i finished lmfao so apologies if there are any mistakes #also did not know how to end it so sorry if its very abrupt LOL

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adammilligan · 2 years

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okay. i’ll put this under a readmore as to not subject you all to five absolutely incoherent paragraphs about some dipshit villain spn pulled out of their asses

am constantly thinking about apocalypse world and au!michael and au!lucifer. because that's a world where the main story ended at swan song except michael DID kill lucifer! and while i'm also constantly thinking about au!michael's line of "i killed my lucifer. tore him apart in the skies over abilene. but hey, can’t get enough of a good thing" it's also kind of important to remember that he. by this point. is absolutely batshit insane. gets a fucking high off of watching people die and laughs like a maniac when he kills gabriel and whatnot etc etc. and in this world where the story ended at swan song i think the exact same thing that happened in the main universe would've happened there. where au!lucifer would've told him that god was doing this TO them and begged him to walk off the chessboard with him and au!michael would've turned on him and called him a monster and told him that he was a good son and that he had his orders. and then he kills au!lucifer and then there's. nothing. no god. no paradise. no nothing.

and so au!michael is kind of left with the fact that not only was au!lucifer RIGHT, but that he just murdered the brother he raised from the moment he was created for nothing. absolutely nothing! and so since the majority of au!michael's anger was turned upon god instead of on au!lucifer, the latter of whom was the most important person in michael's life aside from god, then it kind of just turns into. yknow. au!michael DID remake himself in au!lucifer's image in the depths of the insanity that followed. and so au!lucifer's death became a good thing. a fun thing. i think au!michael's lack of anything to fall back on in the wake of lucifer's death (if au!raphael was like raphael in that he was tired and depressed and thought god was already dead, that's not exactly something to find a sense of stability in) plus the grief of god's betrayal plus the grief of what he did to au!lucifer literally did contribute to him BECOMING au!lucifer but worse.

and it would make sense is the thing! for au!michael to do that! because that's exactly what michael did! except with adam! michael kind of directly implied that he saw adam's word as second only to god's in 15x08, which would mean that the instant michael's faith in god was properly shattered adam's word would've taken the number one spot. regardless, michael and adam's time together no matter what happened DID somehow place adam as the most important person in michael's life aside from god. adam was his friend! and lucifer got knocked off that pedestal so adam could have that spot. the thing about this is is that. i mean. what were adam's penultimate words. they were "since when do we get what we deserve." adam isn't lucifer! he doesn't bite back! he doesn't have any sort of sadistic streak! adam's tired and sad and worn down and resigned to whatever happens. and then you look at michael in inherit the earth and what is he. he's tired and sad and worn down and resigned to his fate. and where au!michael went down swinging (like lucifer, like au!lucifer), michael literally did the opposite. he stood there and let himself be killed.

what i’m saying is that. out of the two michaels we were handed. one pretty explicitly and one based on context clues. both have a history of modelling themselves after the one most important to them after that one dies. and it’s kind of funny to me in a way that au!michael also admits that he tried to play god at one point because yeah he tried to model himself after HIM too but it didn’t work out and now he’s kind of still a more insane version of lucifer. which means that out of the two of them michael was the only one who lived up to his actual name (”quis ut deus?” which means “who is like god?” and it’s meant to be framed as a question with an answer already written: that no one is like god) but i digress. so the thought of au!michael and au!lucifer kind of drive me crazy because it means that au!michael would’ve called him a monster. realized that au!lucifer was right about everything. lost himself in the spiral of madness. and became that same monster. an even worse one, in fact. i think about it literally all the time it’s like yes dear god he still hates him he killed him once and he did worse to his alternate self but. i mean. that was HIS monster. HIS brother. HE raised him. it’s not like michael and lucifer where their relationship got worse and fell apart entirely until they no longer even seemed to care about each other by the end of it. i think that at least part of if not a lot of au!michael’s insanity is just his grief for au!lucifer and the fact that he killed him for nothing, for the father who never even cared, manifesting outwards until he can convince himself he hates him all over again while he kind of wears him like a second skin that doesn’t fit him quite right but melds just enough with au!michael’s own cruelty and anger until it doesn’t even matter.

because this isn’t the main universe! this is the fallout of a swan song that didn’t end with imprisonment! where there was no one to stop them! that ended the way it was technically supposed to end! with one brother killing the other! and the end result is the fallout of that. where au!michael really did kind of take the attributes of the one he loved most and incorporate them into himself out of grief. michael in the main universe IS capable of the same cruelty and we see that with the lance but he doesn’t share the sadistic streak as lucifer and au!michael do and au!lucifer would’ve. does ANY of this make sense.

#i think au!michael was fun. i think it was fun to see a michael that went off the deep end as a result of everything. i think it was fun to #see how in both universes michael did grow to reflect the attitudes of the ones he loved most who died.#could he have been WRITTEN better? yes definitely absolutely. au!michael got fucked and turned into a joke the second that white guy started #playing him even if some of his lines were still good. but seeing him in apocalypse world SEEING him as this insane genocidal warlord who #cares about nothing except destruction for his own pleasure. part of it is his own self. but i think part of it was what he took from #au!lucifer as well. from the one he raised. from the one he killed. you know?#anyway. this is way too fucking long for some dipshit villain this show pulled out of their ass. oops sdkjfsdnkjsfan #kate rambles #alternate michael #alternate lucifer #<-kind of

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