#idk im not sure yet but i felt it needed a home somewhere | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambalambs · 1 year

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So idk if this is something strange to post but ive been trying my hand at writing fanfic about miko lately since I dont trust my art skill to do the little scenes that I come up with. But I also have zero skill in writing so this probably isn't any good either lol but im having a good time with it. And if anyone cares about my little miko musings I figured I'd share

———

"If you have a moment or two to spare, pray consider playing a little tune or two on it to practice."

Miko trailed behind Artoirel and his manservant through the Firmament, but he immediately froze in his tracks as they came upon the twin grand pianos the man had been describing.

"Often it takes time to get accustomed to a new instrument," the manservant continued.

Miko, however, was barely listening as he slowly approached the pianos. The pair truly were a spectacle of craftsmanship. One was pure black, the light of the day peeking through the clouds brightly reflecting off it. The other was white. The soft ishgardian snowflakes dusting its surface just barely visible as they rested upon it. Miko made his way to the white one, his fingertips barely brushing along the edge of it as if his mere touch would mar its surface.

He moved around to the bench before the piano and immediately took a seat. The keys laid out before him just beckoning to be played.

"I must say our hero might not need much time to practice at all, Foncrineau," Artoirel grinned. "You look right at home, my friend. Have you played the piano before?"

Miko smirked lightly and placed his hands upon the keys. He didn't press down just yet, instead taking a moment to simply get the feel of it again. Being as musically inclined as he was, Miko had tried his skill on many instruments. If he put his mind to it he could play just about anything to a relatively pleasant extent. Enough to carry a tune at least. He found he was most fond of anything with strings but there was something special about the piano.

And as Miko felt the weight of his fingers on the keys it occured to him just how long it had been since he played. It really had been too long. And as he mused upon this thought a memory seemed to push itself forward. Not in the way the echo painfully did, no, but simply just a memory of his own from a simpler time.

———

Miko was just a boy in this memory. No more that nine or ten summers old. He had only just begun staying at this farm and its hyuran family for a couple of days. It had been strange but not unpleasant. The trauma of his loss was still fresh during this time so it was still difficult for him to truly allow himself to settle in. He still hung onto the expectation that his father would find him soon like he promised and take him home.

On this particular day he found himself wandering around the family's home. The man was somewhere out in the fields tending to whatever farmers busied themselves with. The woman was in the back of the house putting their small child down for a nap. This left Miko unattended for a time so he claimed the opportunity to quietly explore.

He wandered into the living area and trained his focus on a particular piece of furniture that had grabbed his attention when he had first arrived. It was big and wooden, but although the top of it seemed flat enough to hold trinkets, it was clearly not a shelf. Or at least not one he had ever seen before. There was, however, a booklet of some kind resting against the front of it. Miko glanced back over his shoulder for a moment to confirm he was still alone and reached out to skim through the booklet. He wasn't sure what he expected since he was well aware he wouldn't be able to read its contents even if he wanted to. But he didn't expect the strange lines and scribbles that filled the pages. He was fascinated by whatever these strange symbols could mean but he quickly lost interest in their mystery for now and placed the book back in its place.

What next caught his eye, and honestly the main reason the piece of furniture had caught his attention in the first place, were the small intricately carved designs on the wood. There were leaves and vines and flowers, all clustered together in the corners and along the surface. And among them were carvings of little creatures he instantly recognized to be sylphs. He had seen sylphs before playing among the toadstools while gathering herbs with his mother. She always warned him not to get too close. The green ones were nicer than the purple ones but they were still known to be tricksy.

As Miko reached out and began trailing a nail through the grooves of the carving, he liked to think this sylph was one of the green ones.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

Miko jumped, immediately dropping his hand from the carving and whirling around to stare wide eyed at the woman behind him. His ears pressed flat against his head. The woman stood there leaning against the entryway with a soft smile. She had told him her name once when he first arrived but he still felt little reason to commit it to memory. He'd be leaving soon, after all, once his father returned for him.

"Oh goodness sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," she laughed lightly. Her laugh was sweet just like his mother's and it briefly tugged at Miko's chest as he inwardly berated himself for being so easily snuck up on.

"It's called a piano," the woman continued and gestured to the furniture before him. "Here let me show you." She tottered her way over to him, a hand on her pregnant belly. Once she made it to him she moved to reach beneath the piano and pull out the bench hidden below that Miko hadnt noticed before. He quickly hopped in to pull it out for her and she thanked him with a warm smile. She sat with a sigh that only a young mother can give and patted the spot on the bench beside her expectantly. Miko hesitated a moment before relenting and sitting beside her.

The woman tapped a finger to the wooden surface before them. "Go on, lift it up." She sounded almost giddy as Miko turned his wide eyed gaze from her to the spot she was pointing at. He wasn't sure what she expected of him to be honest. It didn't look like something he could lift, but as he curled his fingers into what seemed to be a seam in the wood and lifted, the panel easily gave way to reveal a long row of black and white keys beneath. Miko was instantly captivated. It was like he had revealed something mysterious and magical and hidden.

"My grandfather used to be a very skilled carpenter," the woman began. "He used to make all sorts of things but musical instruments were his specialty." Miko listened as he gazed at the keys before him. This was an instrument? They had many kinds of instruments in his village that he had played and loved but nothing like this. Suddenly the woman leaned in close to him, their shoulders bumping and whispered, "You know they say he even made some violins for an ishgardian orchestra that played before the archbishop himself."

Miko stared at her in awe. He didn't know what ishgard or an archbishop was at the time but it mustve been something truly important if she was being so secretive about it. She smiled and lightly giggled as she leaned away, Miko's attentive gaze never leaving her, hoping to learn more. But she instead gestured to the keys, "Go ahead. Push one."

Miko glanced at the keys with wonder. He carefully placed a finger on one and made to press down but it was sturdier than he anticipated and didn't give at first. So he tried again with more force.

DONG!

Miko jumped, ears once again flattening as he turned in the direction of the bedrooms where the toddler was sleeping. Immediate fear filled him. He hadn't expected it to play so loud.

The woman beside him laughed lightly again. "Dont worry about waking the little one. Once he goes out not even a calamity could wake him. Thank the Twelve for small mercies." Miko nervously looked back to her, calming a little. What happened next would remain in Miko's memory forever. The woman placed her hands on the keys and began to play. It was a pleasant tune. Something light and relaxing but Miko watched as her fingers seemed to dance along the piano. He found himself already placing each note and position of her fingers into his memory, the melody already latching onto him for later. He had always loved the sounds of the instruments back in his village, the strings and the flutes and the drums. Each would fill him with their deep and winded tones. But the sound of this was so different from any he had heard. It was almost like a chime but it rang so deep he could feel it run right through him and into his core. Oh he was already in love with this. He wanted to keep hearing more. To test out its limits for himself.

As the woman beside him played she began to speak to him as if the very act of playing the instrument was second nature. "This piece has always been one of my favorites. You strike me as someone who can appreciate it, too." Miko quietly nodded without taking his eyes off her hands.

She then suddenly stopped just as quickly as she began and gently placed a hand on her belly. "I hope to teach the little ones someday, but I dont think their hands will be quite dexterous enough for quite a while." She looked up towards him then, a gleam in her eyes. "How would you like to be my first student?" She said as she briefly booped a finger on the tip of his nose.

Miko's face scrunched up at the sudden contact but he turned his gaze down to the piano before him. He carefully and slowly placed his hands on the keys just as she had. For a moment he pressed his lips together in thought, then began to quietly hum the melody he had just heard her playing. It was soft, a bit raspy and broken in his throat from lack of use. But he ever so gently began to play the first few notes. It was slow going but the ease at which he so quickly picked it up was impressive. He felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips and immediately stopped. Letting his hands rest upon the keys he thought, maybe it was okay if his dad took a little longer to find him if it meant he could learn how to play this just a little. He let the smile fully claim his face, as small and soft as it was, and turned to look at the woman next to him. "...sure."

———

As Miko pulled himself away from the memory he found himself smiling that same soft smile to himself. Remembering Artoirel had asked him a question he quickly straightened himself up and ran his fingers down along each of the keys with trained skill. "I have but I confess it's been quite a while," I replied with a grin.

"Well, it seems the Firmament will be in for quite a show," said Artoirel.

Miko chuckled and quickly scanned over the sheet of music already placed on the piano before him. Artoirel claimed he had written this piece so Miko was already determined to do his friend's creation justice. He softly started humming the new melody to himself, as he was wont to do with new pieces, before turning his attention back to Artoirel.

"You keep up writing music like this and you'll soon be writing symphonies for the Eorzean orchestra."

Artoirel chuckled, "Please, you praise me overmuch."

Miko laughed softly and turned his attention back to the piano before him. His heart suddenly warmed at the thought of performing before the people of the Firmament despite the cold of the snow. He'd have to write home about this and let mom know he got to perform a musical number to the esteemed ishgardians.

#i really hope that readmore works cuz this is a little longer than i expected it to be #also i havent written anything creatively since high school so idk how structure works anymore lmao rip #i might lose my courage and delete this tho hhhh #lambs personal junk #lambs tries writing #miko jinjahl #final fantasy xiv

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mutedbrowns · 3 years

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while i’m out of art to upload, i’ll just share my fry, lars, and leela playlist x’)) (songs from ‘start again’ to ‘never forget you’ is a whole section i’ve dedicated to lars lmao) it can be very cheesy so im apologizing in advance x’)) this is what i have on loop x’)))

#a lot of these are subject to change #i put songs in and out sometimes just to see if they actually fit #but this is where it's at currently lol #im sorry about the gold trans am song #futurama #freela #my playlist #philip j fry #lars fillmore #turanga leela #theres not a lot of leela songs in here yet but ill be adding more #LASTLY IM SORRY MAD IQS might be a bender song #idk im not sure yet but i felt it needed a home somewhere

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mercy-burning · 3 years

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Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @s1utformgg @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud

TAGS NOT WORKING: @takeyourleap-of-faith @emilyprentisslittlewhore

If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll add you!

#mercy 1k celebration #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut

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red-doll-face · 3 years

Note

Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!

#slasher x reader #michael myers #michael myers x reader #halloween #rz halloween movie #rz michael myers #rz michael myers x reader #jason voorhees #jason voorhees x reader #friday the 13th #thomas brown hewitt x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt #bubba sawyer x reader #bubba sawyer #leatherface x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers

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hollowedwing · 3 years

Note

Are you still taking request? If you are, can you do an alpha hawks x omega phoenix!reader but the reader is a circus performer? Hawks just happens to have a day off and sees a famous circus is in town (cirque du soleil vibes) and decides to fulfill one of his childhood fantasies and see a circus show. here's one of my fave movie circus performances for some inspo => Malang Song | DHOOM:3 | Aamir Khan, Katrina Kaif

A/n: Omg, I've actually never gotten a request before :o sorry this took a little while also!

I uhhh, I've never ever written Omega Alpha stuff before? But I'll try my best at it! Thank you for the video refs also! I'm...going to kind of base the performance off of it? So uhh, here we go I guess! (Im also hoping by Phoenix reader, you meant, reader has a pheonix quirk...I sincerely apologize)

Alpha!Hawks x Phoenix!gn!Reader

⚠️Warnings: A liiitle suggestive?

Finally! Keigo finally finally got to take a personal day. He decided he'd take this chance to cross something off of his childhood bucket list.

He'd always wanted to go see the traveling circus. This type of circus was more like Cirque du Soleil. He was flying through the city one day when he saw a new billboard going up. Now, Keigo's always wanted to see a circus, but when he saw the billboard featuring another winged human with vibrant orange and red hued wings smack dab in the middle of it, he definitely had to go. To say the least you were absolutely stunning.

He eagerly walked in to the stands, with popcorn in hand, and took a seat in a special section with more room for his own wings. The area was dimly lit and there was soft chatter amongst the crowd, eagerly awaiting the performances.

Soon the houselights went out and stage lights flicked on with pyrotechnics going off around it. The male lead began the performance, coming out very strong and confident. The crowd watched in awe with all of the graceful dance moves and dangerous stunts happening on stage.

Soo it was your turn to make an appearance. The spotlight jumped to your firgure, gracefully perched on a hoop just hanging from a wire above the stage. You had your vibrant sunset hue wings spread magnificently to their full span. Your costume was jewled up, glimmering in the lights. It was very form fitting, allowing it to show off your slim, athletic figure.

Hawks could not take his eyes off of you. You're even sweeter scent leaking off of you smelled somewhere between pumpkin and vanilla. When his eyes locked with yours for a split second he knew he wanted you all for himself. He was absolutely mesmerized with your quirk too. You have a regeneration aspect and wings? Bloody brilliant mate.

As you spun and swung on your hoop, you started singing. The audience was awestruck by your voice. It was almost as melodic as a siren. Alluring with a hint if danger and power.

During your performance, when you would be swung over the crow, you reached out and brushed Keigo's chin with your hand when you got close enough to the stands. Eventually you leapt off your hoop, gliding down to the stage with your wings poofed out. You gracefully land in your dance partner's arms and begin the duo choreography.

Keigo feels a little bit of jealousy come over him as he sees the other alpha male getting to hold you in his strong grip as he swings you about. Throughout the rest of the show, Keigo couldn't stop from gazing at you. He was determined to meet with you afterwards. Your stage presence was overwhelming. Everyone could sense your confidence, which made it even more hypnotizing.

By the end of the show, Keigo wanted to scent you and probably mark you. He wanted you. Badly. He just knew he had to find you.

You on the other hand, were already planning on how you would 'coincidentally' run into the #2 pro hero before he might take off. Off course, your managers were having the main stars stay behind for about 1 hour to allow viewers a chance to pay to get a photo taken with any or all of you. You were either hoping to meet Hawks through that, but you figured you chances of that were so low, you were going to try to sneak out before hand for even just a few minutes.

Dashing out of your dressing room, you made a bee line for the main lobby area in hopes the Hawks would still be out there. You craned your neck in every direction just to catch a glimpse of his gorgeous red wings. After 5-10min of hunting, you could find him nowhere, or smell his scent that you had drank in during your perfomance. Your manager walked up to you, irritated, and huffed that you needed to go to the photo section this instant and to not run off like that again.

Keigo heard about the photo ops and immediately hunted for the location once he got out of the stands. He was willing to pay just about anything to be near you again. While waiting in the long line he took a feather off of his wing, made sure it was well scented, and attached a small piece of paper onto it.

About 20 minutes into the photo session, you finally saw large red wings in the line. Your insides jumped for joy and with nervousness. You wanted so badly to be near him again. The split second swing by just wasn't enough. A happy scent could be smelled leaking from you.

Keigo drank it in. Getting more and more impatient to reach the front of the line. Finally, FINALLY making it to the front. The moment you both locked eyes, it felt like time stopped.

With having to stay professional, as this was a public setting still, Keigo couldn't just pounce on you and nuzzle his face into your neck. You two didn't actually know each other and that would not make for great press yet.

Hawks walked up to you, a bit shy, but mostly holding his confident alpha stance. His smile was prsctically glowing.

You managed to keep your cool and posed with Hawks for a photo. You draped you arm around his waist and he put one around your should and youu both smiled for the camera!

He thanked you, gave some money to the photographer and then spun back around to slip something into your costume pocket. (yes Im saying your stage costume has pockets xD idk man).

Hawks was quickly ushered away by staff so that they could keep the line going. You were left a blusbing mess with a stupid grin on your face, very eager to be able to go back to the privacy of your dressing room and see what he slipped into your pocket.

What felt like forever, the photo session was finally over and you just abkut sprinted back to the dressing room.

Feeling around your pocket, you pulled out a red feather, with a little piece of paper on it.

Hawks had written: "Hey Omega! You can call me Hawks! Or maybe call me at xx-xxxx-xxxx °v°☆"

You softly laughed and hurriedly opened your phone to add his number to your contacts. Maybe shoot him a text once you get home. This was one of your best nights ever.

Keigo went home that night on cloud 9. He had trouble to not get too excited when he was near you. Again, he wanted you, very badly.

Bonus:

You guys did meet up after texting back and forth for so long.

You decided that going to a coffee shop would be a fun date

It really didnt take long after you both got acquainted, that he gave you items scented of him or scenting you himself. He marked you his.

_____________________________________

A/n: Oh geez, Im sorry xD, idk where I was going with this or what I was doing. I liked the idea of the prompt so I tried my best >.< Im not too familiar with Omegaverse stuff, but I read up on some stuff and hoped I did ok. Its very very light omegaverse though.

#bnha x reader #bnha x omegaverse reader #hawks x reader #hawks x gn!reader #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x gn!reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #bnha x gn!reader

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

Imagine pampering Reiner. I would love to kiss him silly 🙈 is it obvious he’s my favorite character?

id like to kiss him silly too 🤩🤚 tysm for the request !!!

pampering reiner after a long day (modern au)

warnings: taking care of ur man 😁👍 uhh construction worker!reiner (of age, obv), gn!reader, face care n shit idk, cute names like baby and love, mentions of sexual harrasment/assault in a workplace.

living in the city had it ups and downs. well, so did everything in life, but you never really thought about that until you moved into the city. you and reiner both came from a small town, and then went to the same college in a bigger town, before you two decided to move to the big city together. downs happened more often than ups, but anything was an up if you were with reiner. rent was expensive, especially for the shoebox of an apartment you two live in, but youve both made it into your home, a cozy little sanctuary away from the rest of this chaotic world. another down was that the city never sleeps, someone, somewhere was always working, and you too found yourself taking nightshifts at the diner you worked at. it was minimum wage, and middle aged men and women would come in and flirt (more like harass), but your coworkers were nice, and if you made sure to dress up a bit you'd get a fat tip.

you and reiner originally thought that you'd get well paying jobs as soon as you moved into the city, which was a lie. considering the time, effort, and money you both put into getting your degrees, you thought you were more than qualified for certain jobs, but you werent, and that sucked, and now your boyfriend over works himself physically building houses while you let freaks make weirdly sexual comments about you so you can earn more money. it sucks on both ends, but you know that you'd do anything to be with reiner, so you could take a couple of gropes and sleazy jokes.

today you had gotten off work early, your boss closing the store because of a family emergency. you felt bad for the man, he was nice, and offered to switch you to dish duty when he'd seen older people be weird with you, you'd declined knowing that you wouldn't earn as much in the back. he was a family man, and generous, and cared about others, which was a nice change from other employers in the past. you were surprised reiner wasn't home yet, because today was friday, and he usually got off fridays around six, but now it was almost nine, and you were starting to get a bit worried.

just as you started gnawing on your lip, your phone vibrated beside you. grabbing it you saw it was reiner calling you, and quickly paused your episode of shameless to answer. "rei, where are you ?"

"just got off work baby." he sighed.

he sounded exhausted, and you could hear cars honking so you knew he was outside.

"do you need me to come get you ?"

"no, its okay. jack's giving me a ride home."

you let out a breath, at least he didn't have to wait for the bus, getting a ride meant he'd be home faster. "okay my love. you want me to run you a bath for when you come home ?" you knew how sore reiner got from working, and being out in the sun all day. with the weather becoming warmer it would become harder on him, and he'd always forget to wear sunscreen which meant he'd burn.

he let out a soft moan. "that sounds great baby, thank you so much."

you heard talking from his end, assuming it was jack. you tried to keep listening but reiner's voice cut in again. "only ten more minutes and im back to you."

you smiled, getting excited that he'd be here so soon. "okay lovey, i'll get that bath started. i love you."

you could hear his smile on the other end. "i love you too baby, thank you so much."

you quickly said your goodbyes before hanging up, cutting him off. you felt a bit bad but quickly brushed it off as you walked to your bathroom. you got everything together, moving from the bathroom to your bedroom and back again. you set out a clean towel, a pair of sweats and a white tank top for him, as well as a hoodie if he was cold. you filled up the tub, making sure it was hot, before adding a cup of epsom salt and stirring it around with your hand. you got up again, going to the kitchen area of your little home and filling up a cup with a jug of cold water from the fridge. you brought it back to the small bathroom, sitting it on the tank cover of the toilet. he needed to be hydrated.

you were changing the sheets of your shared bed when you heard the from door open, close, then lock. reiner dropped his backpack and toed off his shoes. he hung up his jacket before slowly walking around the apartment, cracking his neck and stretching his arms above his head. "baby ? where are you ?"

"in here rei, just changing the sheets." you called out. you could hear his heavy footsteps make his way down the hall towards you.

he thought you looked beautiful. dressed in just a tee shirt (his tee shirt) and plaid pyjama pants, the lights from the city reflecting all around the room and on your body, a small lamp which casted a soft warm glow around the room, made your eyes shine.

"you don't have to change the sheets baby." he whispered, making his way over to you. he helped you put the comforter over the bed. a simple grey colour, which matched the baby pink sheets and pillow cases.

"i wanted to. you always feel good sleeping in new sheets." you answered, making your way around the bed to him. you wrapped your arms around his torso while he wrapped his around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing your head. he sighed, and just held you while you rubbed his back.

"your bath is ready, and i left you clothes for you there too." you whispered. he hummed in response before squeezing you tighter.

"i missed you so much." his words were soft, but held a lot of weight, and your heart hurt because you knew he was working himself to the bone.

"it's okay baby, i'm here now."

he nodded before kissing your head again. he smelt your hair, sighing before pulling back to look at your face. "did you shower ?"

"when i got home, yeah."

"okay. i won't be long then."

you shook your head, moving your arms so you could hold his face in your hands. "no rei, take all the time you need. i'll wait for you." you knew that reiner was too tired to fight you on that, so he simply nodded, giving you a soft kiss before stripping down to his underwear and leaving the room.

you put his clothes in the hamper, putting his wallet on his bedside table and plugging his phone in to charge. then you opened up the window so the cool breeze could come in, you knew reiner liked the room to be a bit cooler at night.

slowly you made your way to the bathroom, peaking in to see him in the bath, the water up to his neck as he was almost fully submerged. his eyes were closed and his breathing was slow, you could see his tan lines from working. his muscles that bulged even when relaxed and the crinkles in his eyes from smiling so much, even when he was so young. his stuble which was just a bit darker than his sandy blond hair, and his calloused hands from his labour, wrapped around his torso in a hug. those hands that held you, that protected you, that tickled you, that loved you. you never got to admire reiner often, usually because he'd notice early on and tell you to stop, he'd get all flustered and his face would turn red, getting all blushy that his lover wanted to look at how beautiful he was. and he was, reiner was gorgeous, and its a blessing to call him yours.

his voice was raspy from not speaking for so long. "baby, stop looking at me like that." you could see the apples of his cheeks turn pink while his lips quirked up into a small.

"i can't help it, you're just so pretty." you replied, walking into the small bathroom and closing the door behind you. it took less than two steps to get towards him, and you crouched down beside the tub to look at him closer.

he slowly opened his eyes, like he was in a daze, before peeling an arm away from his body and holding it out for you to take. you grabbed his hand with both of yours, rubbing his palm and fingers while you softly kissed his knuckles. you two never looked away as you did so, relishing in the soft moment together.

he closed his eyes again, and sighed while moving deeper into the tub, making the water go from his neck to his chin, and his long legs stick out of the water at the knees. "you know that face mask you have baby ? the one that peels off and makes your face smooth ?" he asked, his voice echoing throughout the room.

"yeah," you mumbled against his hand. "you wanna use it ? want me to put it on for you ?"

he nodded. you slowly put his hand back into the water before crawling to the cabinet under the sink, reaching for your peel off face mask, you turned around and went back to your love, shifting as close as you could ger before the toilet got in the way, before opening the tube and squeezing some onto your hand. the clear gel felt cool on your finger tips, and you rubbed it along both pointer and middle finger on your two hands, before leaning over the side of the tub and rubbing some on his face. you made sure to keep it away from his facial hair and his eyebrows. after rubbing it in you rinsed your hands off in the bathwater, before moving them to hold reiner's hand again. "if you cant peel some if it off after its dry just rinse with warm water, okay ?" reiner nodded before squeezing your hand. "thank you baby."

you two sat in silence for a couple of minutes, just listening to each others breathing and the slight swish of the water. "i'm gonna make some tea, would you like any ?" you asked.

reiner shook his head. "i'll just steal a sip of yours."

you chuckled before kissing the back of his hand, a smile on your face. "okay my love, i'll wait for you in the bedroom."

he leaned over quickly, grabbing your face with his free hand and giving you a soft kiss, over and over again. his lips were a bit chapped, which caused your own to tickle, but to him it felt great. this was so domestic, so simple, it made him feel safe, it made reiner forget all about his horrible day. all he could think about was you, all he could feel was you.

because of your kiss some of the product from his face mask had transferred onto yours, causing him to giggle before wiping it away with his pruny hand. "i love you so much baby. i'm so happy to be with you." he whispered, his face millimetres from your own.

"thank you rei, i love you too." you responded. you loved him so much, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. and you're sure you will.

you pecked his lips before kissing his hand one more time, then you got up and left the bathroom, reiner's eyes on you as you went.

you went about tidying up the living room, putting away reiner's dinner on the table (if he didn't scarf it down when he came in, you knew he wouldn't touch it until tomorrow) turning off the tv and folding up the blanket you were snuggled up with on the couch almost an hour ago.

you quickly boiled your water for your tea, getting out your favourite mug and putting the tea bag in. then you went into your bedroom, where you moved through the open window to sit on the fire escape. the breeze of the night brought with it a chill, and you wished you'd brought that blanket with you. the lights and the cars moving down brought comfort to you. after living here for over a year, the noise became berable to you, just second nature.

you could hear faint shuffling inside the bedroom, before reiner's head popped out of the window. "i was looking everywhere for you."

you gave him a sheepish smile. "sorry my love, would you like to join me ?" he nodded and crawled out of the window too, which was a bit hard considering his long limbs. he sat down beside you, his skin looking soft and smooth, his hair wet and all dressed in his hoodie and sweats.

the two of you huddled together, watching people walk by and cars drive around, looking into the windows of other apartments and stores, seeing if you could see the people inside doing weird things. you two passed the mug of tea between each other, before all that was left was the wet tea bag at the bottom of the cup. reiner reached up and set it on the window sill, before pulling you into his side by your shoulders.

"do your muscles hurt still ?" you asked.

reiner shook his head before replying. "not anymore, thank you again for the bath."

you giggled, turning your head to look up at him, he looked down at your own head, resting on his shoulder, and matched the smile that painted your lips. "you don't have to thank me so much silly, i love taking care of you."

he rubbed his nose against your own. "i love taking care of you too. which is why i was thinking of looking for a new job."

your eyes opened again and he watched your reaction closely. "that tech company near downtown, they're looking for a new software developer. i've already set up an interview, i just didn't know when to tell you." he whispered.

your eyes lit up as you smiled again, leaning up and smacking kisses all over his face. he let out a loud laugh before cupping your face with his hand, guiding your head away from his own so he could speak, but you started talking before that could happen. "i'm so happy for you. i hate seeing you come home so tired and in pain."

he nodded. "and i hate seeing you come home with a new story of some creep making moves on the love of my life." he replied, giving you a soft kiss.

you two sat in silence again. reiner felt happy that you weren't upset about his idea for a new job, he had a degree, and a great mind, and he somehow knew he'd get this job.

"y'know," you started. "that new art museum that opened near the science centre, they're hiring too. said on their website they're looking for tour guides."

reiner pulled you closer to him, if that was even possible. "baby you'd be great at that. you know so many art things."

"'art things?'" you laughed. "yeah, maybe i'll call and see if i could get an interview."

reiner nodded. "that sounds great baby. but tomorrow, your tea made me so sleepy and now i just wanna sleep." you shook your head with a chuckle before pecking him on the lips again.

you two made your way inside, closed the window, and got ready for bed. while you put the mug back into the kitchen sink, reiner took off his hoodie and unfolded the comforter from the bed, ready to get under. when you came back inside you shut off the lamp and got in beside him, where reiner immediately pulled you into his chest.

your head rested on his bare pec, and you could hear his heart thumping. he was calm, content, and happy with you in his arms. and you two went to bed that night with dreams about your future together.

not me going overboard with that one 😁👍 anyways love u all stay safe requests r open 😍🙏

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #reiner braun #reiner braun x gn!reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun headcanons #modern au #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #attack on titan reiner #aot reiner #attack on titan requests

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9tzuyu · 3 years

Text

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #avengers x reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine

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keiruvieg · 3 years

Text

Take me home where i belong

Suguru x Reader

a/n: man i just wanna write Suguru right now. im working on another one similar to this!!

warnings: angst and idk. Grammatical errors

word count: 1697

Summary: after what happened to Suguru Geto, what is it that you truly desire?

A soft voice- a voice that calls you out.

"I'll be waiting for you,until then please be safe"

Those were the last words he said. The last words that made your resolve crumble, that every minute of the day breaks you. He's not here anymore. The first guy that calls you out, the first guy that was so sweet you feel like it's illegal to be close to him,the first guy that'll take you out to random places after every mission, the first guy to ever look out for you. The first guy that you longed for- you yearned everything about him-his touch,his humor,his smarty-pants attitude,his voice that makes you know that you're alright once you're talking to him, his terrible but at the same time makes you feel like the world is just about the two of you attitude. You miss him but

Suguru is already gone.

He left you. He left you with a broken resolve. A broken heart. And a confusing words-yet he said delicately. How did it end up like this? He left the world he was born to be in. He became the person that he said is not necessary for a jujutsu sorcerer. Suguru ate all his words.

A mission.

A mission was sent to you again. How many missions was it again ever since he left? It suddenly got out of your mind anymore. Was it not that important? Was he even important? Moreover... Were you even important to him?

A crowded place with a grade 1 curse spirit. It should be fine. You're a grade 1 too so it should be fine. But why did they even put you with this many people? Are you gonna...protect them?

"Shit,fuck" was all you grunted after receiving a number of attacks. Why did you even prioritize others? Fuck, all you did was protect those non powered people and this is all you got. A number of bruises and wounds. Did it hit any vital parts in you?

" I should probably go to shoko right now before anything happens" was all you thought after losing your consciousness.

"I'll create a world full of jujutsu sorcerers" your heart is running meters now because of how fast it beats. "What are you..talking about?" Was all the words that came out of your mouth. He looks down- Suguru might've lost his energy

"Are you gonna laugh at it?" He leaned in the nearest wall the both of you were in. He was waiting patiently for your answer. But all you did was look down. The urge to shout and question him was inside of you and yet it didn't come out.

You just met him after a mission you thought the you can make him come back. How delusional of you, you can't even speak up to him. You can't even speak up to the guy that made your world brighter. You can't even speak up to the guy who left you behind. What is he even talking about? What is he planning? What is he thinking? What got into him? You wanted to question him all of that and yet- only one question come out- "what are you talking about?" The 2nd time- yeah it was already the second time you asked him that. It was already the 2nd time and yet you feel like he'll just answer the same answer- the answer you don't want to hear from him-"i'll create a world without a non-jujutsu sorcerer". Why? Why do you wanna create that? Aren't you satisfied enough with the life you had? Who pushed that idea into you? Why did it cross your mind? Can i even..do something about it? No. Not even Satoru can do anything. Both of you and Satoru didn't have enough courage. "Hey.." there it is again. The voice that calls you out, the voice that made you question everything about you. A weight was pressed in your right shoulder-his hand,his rough yet gentle hands that reach out to you. You looked up at him. And all he did was put his other hand in your left cheek and pressed your foreheads together. "I'll be waiting for you,until then please be safe" then he left. Again. He left you hanging. He left you again with a lot of questions. He left you questioning yourself. You didn't even feel that you were losing your strength in your knees. You were already on the floor. With tears that you shed for the one and only Suguru Geto.

A light.

After all those days. Why does your dream need to remind you of him? You take a look at your surroundings. A bed. A nightstand. A familiar room. Yeah it was your room. Someone must've put you there when you got to Shoko. Your head aches,no it wasn't your head only. It feels like everything in you was being torn to pieces

"If the time comes would you run away with me?"

Another headache. Suguru Geto filled the depths in your soul. You remembered the time he asked that. It confused you at some point. But you said yes-you said yes to running away with him-because you thought his witty attitude is finally hitting him again. But now, it feels like- he really did wanna runaway- with you.

Yeah. Maybe. Running away was the best choice.

But something was holding you back. What was it? What was it that kept you from running away? What was it-what's the reason for it.

"Protecting the weak must come first, that's why i'll protect you first"

That's right. The old Suguru Geto was holding you back. The Suguru Geto that made sure to look out to those who are weak. The Suguru Geto that was so considerate to everyone. The Suguru Geto that believes that protecting the weak comes first.

But how about the Suguru Geto that's waiting for you. He must be lonely. He needs you. His words scream something so deep that it's hard to dig it. The voice of someone that yearned for another.

Suguru Geto is waiting for you.

You took the courage to stand up even though your body felt weak. There was still some aching in your body probably from moving around too much but yet you still stood up. You made sure to rethink everything. What was the right thing to do? Will helping take out curses be able to help you? Or will you just run away from everything and go back to someone so dear to you? You think about it again and again.

“Let’s go home?”

Another headache,another memory of him, this time he was smiling. That smile that made you fall deeper than somewhere on earth. That crashed something beneath your soul.

Suguru Geto really was so dear to you

You took everything out, you didn't even bother when something fell as long as it can have you take something, your clothes, your personal belongings everything, and it hits you, where are you gonna find him? You don’t even have leads of him and yet you still thought of running away. How are you gonna come to him

The village

The village where he massacred even his own parents there must be something there. There must be some leads of where he is. Contacting him is impossible right now. All you can do right now is rush to that village and find some leads of where he is.

4 days- 4 days and still no Suguru. The village was no help either. It was deserted at some point. Where are you gonna find him now. Your stomach is now wishing for food, the food runs out on your 3rd and a half day. Your stomach could bare right? It doesn't matter right now right? You haven't even got to sleep yet and are still finding Suguru. The odds of finding him is very slim right now.

8 days- your money really wasnt enough huh, now you can’t even afford transportation. Pathetic. You really would risk everything huh.

Suguru Geto where the fuck are you?

The 11th day was the worst. At least on the 9th day you still got some food and now you only have water with you and you feel like passing out already. Was running away really the best choice? Now you’re finding reasons about running away. You’re finally overthinking your decisions, it’s already the 11th day and still no leads of him. Your feet just kept walking and walking taking you everywhere. Your knees felt particularly weak right now. You dont even know if you can travel all around Japan like this and yet you still keep going.

You wanna come home. To him

“Mimiko that’s dangerous,please watch out”

Your world shaken. After almost 12 days, Suguru Geto finally showed up. You looked up at him, he had his back turning at you. It looks like he’s watching out for those two girls

But that doesnt matter

You wanted to run at him and punch him and yell at him. You wanted him to know that you almost went homeless because of him. But you didn't have the energy to do that. All you did was walk up to him until you felt close enough to tug his white long sleeves that he was wearing. Not feeling your knees anymore, you suddenly fell down. Tears swelling up in your eyes

I found you

“(Y/N)?” looking up to him, tears now falling down from your eyes, you smiled. “Take me home?” was all that came out of you. Suguru just kneeled down at you, foreheads pressed together. “Sorry, did I put a burden on you?” he muttered with such a low voice that only you can hear. You finally had the courage to hit the guy but all he did was chuckle at you

“Sorry to make you wait, let’s get you home?”

He made sure he guided you afterwards, the two girls assisting you also. He took you somewhere unfamiliar and yet you didn't complain.

Suguru Geto was finally with you

#suguru x reader #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru x reader #jjk geto #geto x reader #jjk angst #jjk x reader #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen suguru

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

Note

abt the historia and zeke are technically related, it got me thinking. We get a lot of yeager bros content and im sure there’s content of frieda being hostoria’s older sister but... where’s the content of zeke being a protective big bro to historia? Feel like they can bond well since they both got dick dads

historia taking the first few steps to breaking away from the nice, submissive type everyone knows her to be. she’s not perfect and there would be times that she’d doubt herself and go back to being insecure and playing herself down. in comes zeke who met her through his mother’s side of the family and is all for that personal growth. he relates to her wanting to stick it to her father, having gone through something like that in the past. he says stuff like, “like hell they can get away talking to you like that, tell me who they are and ill give them a piece of my mind.” and “your dad can go fuck himself, you can stay with me and mom if you need somehwere to stay. mom doesnt like rod either so you’re more than welcome.”

idk idk hahah :p

...i hope you don't mind me just wirting some headcannons and scenrios real quick, because wow anon you just opened my third eye for all this potential.

Historia and Zeke family bonding modern au below cut

They probably met for the first time at large family gathering when Dina took teen Zeke to meet his relatives and one of his uncles mentioned that his daughter from his ex-wife just started living with him after moving from the country side.

He was 17 at the time, and so while the adults were busy with each other as the topic of his mother's divorce came up again, he felt too uncomfortable to stay in the room so he just excused himself to the bathroom.

Only to sneak outside the house instead, knowing all the rooms in his uncle's big mansion were probably filled with maids or other relatives and he didn't want to risk getting caught.

The back garden was beautiful, the grass overgrown and not as bright as the front yard fake lawn, it was clearly an overlooked part of the house that the gardener seemed to forget from dried crunchy leaves collecting at the bottom of the old tree.

Zeke took a breath of fresh air, before reaching into the hidden pocket of his jacket and pulling a cigarette.

He knew if his mother found out she'd kill him, not to mention his concerned grandparents, but what they don't know can't harm them.

Getting out his lighter, he was too focused on covering the flame so the wind won't snuff it out before lighting the cigarette

"You shouldn't do that, it's not good for you." Came a high pitched voice that took him off guard, almost making him drop the lighter and cause a fire hazard.

Looking in front of him, a seven year old girl stood with messy blonde hair with some leaves stuck to it, she was clutching a patch of dandelions and weeds pulled from the ground.

Putting the lighter back in his pocket, Zeke took a deep breath before slowly letting the smoke out, pushing what she said aside, he said "And what exactly are you doing with those?"

She gave a big toothy smile before explaining how she's cleaning the garden, she said "they keep stealing the other plants' food, most plants here are dead and i wanted to help."

Zeke stepped closer before leaning down to be on eye level with her, judging by the dirt staining her white dress and between her fingernails, she must have been doing this for a while. He chuckled at the way she crunched her nose at the smell of smoke, before attempting to mask her features.

Wanting to mess with her, he held the cigarette with two fingers before offering it to her, "wanna try? i won't tell your parents, pinky promise."

Audibly gasping, she clutched the dandelions to her chest protectively before stumbling to politely reject it in a way that was clearly meant not to offend him, her eyes glancing at the garden fence door like she's considering running.

Deciding to end the joke before she would yell stranger danger, Zeke put out the cigarette with an amused smile before offering his empty hand to her.

"I'm sorry for the awful joke, please don't tell my mom, will you forgive me? Pretty please?" Putting on his best pout, Zeke almost couldn't hold back chuckling when the kid in front of him seemed actually moved by his act.

She reluctantly took his hand, tangling their pinkies together before nodding, with the most serious expression she said "okay...i won't, but you have to stop okay! My dad does it and he coughs a lot."

"Your dad huh..." Zeke stared into her eyes, "so you must be Historia."

"Mhm! Do you know my dad? He said some people will be visiting today and i should stay somewhere they can't see..."

"Hmm, well Historia " standing up, Zeke pushed his glasses back, "I'm Zeke, what do you say we become friends?"

Looking up at the tall boy with stars in her eyes, Historia enthusiastically noded, too happy to dwell on the fact that her first ever friend had offered her a smoke some minutes ago.

"That's the spirit, now" taking off his jacket, Zeke folded it before putting it aside on the fence, "what do you say we finish pulling these weeds so i can teach you a really fun game called catch."

That day, Zeke dragged dirt and mud into his mother's new car with his now ruined suit, Dina was too busy scolding him that she forgot the fact he never came back from the bathroom after leaving the room.

And after that, each year at Christmas and family gatherings, Zeke and Historia would see each other for a single day.

He slowly saw her confidence grow more and more, each time she held her head a little higher, smile more genuine than the fake polite one.

At age 15, She told him about her first girlfriend, he bought her alcohol with His ID and of course she was quick to refuse it and scold him, Zeke started worrying she's starting to resemble his mother more and more.

At 16, when her father found out and threatened to kick her out, Zeke was the person she first called even before Ymir, not wanting to worry her.

To his surprise was the fact she didn't shed a single tear as she packed her bags before getting in his car, not giving a single glance to her father staring with a horrified expression from the front gate.

No, she smiled instead as both of them went to grab some food.

He asked if she knows where she's staying, she said she knows some friends but still haven't asked anyone yet.

After arriving at his grandparents house, Dina was the first to pull her into a hug before saying how sorry she is and how she just ended a call with Riess after giving him a piece of his mind.

Zeke, knowing very well how his mother is like when she's angry, he smiled knowing the guy now definitely has a headache from all the yelling, his mother has great lungs after all.

Zeke was almost 26 at the time, and so he offered her his old room while he's away in college.

They definitely grew closer after that, although Zeke never mentioned a word to his friends neither did Historia tell anyone beside Ymir.

They just never mentioned their personal life while hanging out on the days Zeke came to visit from college.

His grandparents adored her and treated her like their granddaughter after his mother moved to another country, they even met Ymir a couple times.

Zeke never talked with Ymir but he met her on the times Historia brought her over at christmas, his grandparents were quick to praise her for landing such a beautiful girlfriend before side eyeing Zeke and asking if he will ever give bring someone home.

Zeke was there for her to see her actual sad side that she hid from everyone, both of them bonded over the burden they hold on their shoulders for having to be the "perfect reliable" person all the time.

She rarely cried, but whenever she did it was either with Zeke or Ymir.

While Zeke would vent to her about Grisha and how much the fear of turning like him is what prevents him from being in a commited relationship, while Historia listens to him before sharing her own experience with both her dad and mother and how both of them just abandoned her.

After that they just go out to get ice cream.

Fun fact, Historia can handle spicey food and like it's nothing, meanwhile Zeke will choke if he even smelled peppers.

At age 20, Historia moved with Ymir in an apartment after high school and Zeke moved back home to a house near his grandparents after finishing college and opening his own clinc.

She still sends them cards each Christmas and even visits at times, Zeke picks up each time she calls no matter what he's currently doing.

#talking🕯#Zeke🕯#Historia🕯#not a ship #they're more liking sibblings

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starlocked01 · 4 years

Text

Beautiful Mistakes

AO3 @tsshipmonth2020

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary- Remy can't think before he has his coffee and that causes problems for him and his soulmate.

A/N- Slightly altered so that the marks disappear a few minutes after they’ve been received.

Day 9 Remile- Whatever you draw on your skin shows up on your soulmate

Emile could feel the slight itch on his cheek that indicated a message from his soulmate had appeared. He flushed with embarrassment but kept his composure. He quickly scrawled on his wrist.

Not now, Rem. I'm with a client.

He turned back to his patients with a smile and his wrist itched as Remy replied.

Oops

"Doc, you okay?"

"My apologies, my soulmate likes to send messages when he wakes up. Except he works… at night," Emile sighed, affectionately yet exasperated.

"Well the flags look cute, I guess as long as you're okay with your patients knowing..." Dot smiled and nodded encouragingly.

Emile paled, "he didn't…"

"I think he did," Larry replied.

Emile put a hand to his cheek, "it's a pride flag isn't it?"

"Oh don't worry, Doc! It's so cute! Larry, isn't it cute?"

"He's going to be rather upset with me. I can't check it, and he's not out at work yet… but enough about me, back to Dorry! Or if you prefer, Larrydot?? " Emile grinned despite the looks of confusion the couple were giving him. His cheek and wrist continued to itch but he insisted on staying focused on the session.

By the time Larry and Dot were leaving, the itching had crawled up his forearm. Remy must be rather upset.

He checked his watch. The next appointment was in 20 minutes. He could take 5 to read through the tirade and would still be able to review notes for the next couple. He rolled up his sleeve to see a block of text that grew more frantic the farther it got up his arm.

Babe check out the drawing!

I worked hard on that girl pls appreciate me

Em i have work in an hour

Look. At. Your. Cheek.

This isn't funny!

Okay it was supposed to be funny but i can't have a gay flag on my face at work they will kill me!!!!

Bitch

You don't love me im gonna die because you don't love me

No one is gonna believe me if i have to lie about this

Please????

>:[

Emile chuckled and wrote back quickly.

This is your fault for drawing on your cheek. You know I work and can't check messages right away.

He checked the time again and pulled out his phone, opening the camera app. He admired the little gay flag crossed with a pan flag. He took a quick selfie to preserve the drawing on his phone. It really was sweet, if unfortunately timed. Luckily, most of his clients would be fairly understanding. Remy's coworkers on the other hand would not.

The tirade on his arm had faded and been replaced with a new line from Remy.

Don't judge me I didn't have my coffee yet girl

Emile chuckled and pulled his sleeve back down, finding the file and notes he had for the next couple's session.

Remy sat in his car, obsessively checking the mirror until the flags on his cheek faded away. The last thing he needed was to get outed by a soul mark. He was usually late anyway because of the line at Starbucks, what harm would one more day do?

A lot of harm, apparently.

His boss was waiting by the loading dock, impatiently tapping his foot as Remy strolled up.

"'Sup? What are we-"

"Don't even bother clocking in. You don't do shit here and this is the fifth time you've been late this month. You're done."

Remy sputtered, "this is homophobic!"

His boss stared hard at him, eyes narrowing, "You're lazy and you're gay? You're FIRED!"

"Whatever! Your loss, you prick!" Remy turned and flipped the man off as he walked back to his car. He got in and locked the doors, taking some deep breaths. He considered writing to Emile, but decided this was probably an in-person topic.

He restarted the car and drove home, mentally preparing for a lot of explaining.

Emile was surprised to see Remy's car in the driveway when he got home and more than a little concerned. He parked and hurried inside. He found his soulmate sitting in the dark, sipping coffee, and scrolling instagram.

"Remy? Are you okay?"

"Got fired."

"Oh my stars! What happened?"

Remy gave an exasperated sigh, "he didn't like me being late. He also blamed me being gay so idk maybe there's a lawsuit there."

"Was it because of the flags? I tried to check as soon as possible…"

"No… I'm usually late anyway," Remy sank deeper into the couch and Emile moved to sit down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe it was time for a career change. You can find somewhere more accepting with less crazy hours."

"Maybe I'll become a stripper. They make good money right?" Remy mused, leaning into Emile’s side. The other man wrapped him in a one armed hug.

"While I am sure you'd be a natural, I'd be very concerned for your safety as a sex worker, dear. What about something you're passionate about?" Emile tried to be encouraging, numbers running through his head calculating exactly how long they could live off a single salary.

The outlook was not super promising.

"Don't worry, babe, I'll do some research tonight and fill out some applications. Promise," Remy gave Emile a smile that was skin deep, "what do you want for dinner? I'm starving."

After a week of Remy submitting applications and hearing nothing back, Emile was about ready to suggest the exotic dancer route himself. It wasn't that they were under financial stress (yet), moreso that Remy was a lot more rambunctious being cooped at home during the night. He kept waking Emile up too early and the loss of sleep was starting to affect his clients.

"Hey Doc? You're kinda unusually quiet today…"

Emile shook himself back to alertness, "sorry about that Elliott, where were we?"

"Um," they tapped their fingers together while thinking, "I think I was talking about how my soulmate never writes back. They check every message but I never get any from them. It doesn't… feel good."

"Remember what we've said before, Elliott, your worth isn't based on your soulmate. Whatever reason they choose not to write back, the fact of the matter is that you're still an amazing and powerful person in your own right."

Emile was interrupted by an itching on his wrist. Remy would usually still be asleep by now it was late enough in the morning.

He resisted the urge to check the mark as he spoke with Elliott and he could feel the itch crawling up his arm.

After the session, Emile quickly pulled up his sleeve, praying for good news.

I GOT IT!!!

Finally got an interview for tomorrow!!

<3 <3 <3

There were several more hearts and Emile allowed himself a small smile of relief. He doodled back a heart or two for Remy before returning his focus back to work.

They could celebrate when that interview turned into a position.

He greeted the next couple with a broader smile and a tad more exuberance, much to their dismay.

Remy was nervous. This job sounded too good to be true and they'd practically hired him on the spot. He wasn't about to let his soulmate down though.

He followed the man down the hall, sipping his tea for comfort.

"Honestly just don't let anyone eat anything inedible or hit each other and you'll do great," the man smiled, showing Remy into a room with a dozen kids and two other frazzled looking adults.

Piece of cake right?

Emile was in the middle of a session when he felt the itch on his cheek. He tried to smile through it, but then he felt more itches on his legs and arms and nose. His clients were too preoccupied actually talking through their issue with each other so Emile checked his arm to find a rainbow of scribbles that kept growing.

He put a hand to his face to cover his nose and cheek. What had Remy gotten himself into?

Pretty soon his clients were used to seeing Emile with colorful marks all over his face. He explained that his soulmate worked with kids and almost everyone nodded knowingly. He did ask that if they ever saw an inappropriate drawing they let him know so he could check it right away.

Some days he would draw little cartoons for the kids to fill in. They loved that and he always sent them little hearts back when they did a good job (they always did a good job).

And most importantly, Remy was having a great time with his job and got to be home at nights, so they saw each other a lot more often. They both enjoyed that.

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #writing on skin #cussing #remile #remy sleep #emile picani #larry and dot #elliott #homophobia #soulmate au

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thethousandyearwitch · 3 years

Text

The Show Must Go On! Chapter 4

- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 4 “Shifting Sand Land” out now!

AO3 Link

Illumi had always feared that one day he might inherit any of his mother's illnesses. It wasn't out of the question, and he considered himself lucky that no ailment had reared its head so far into his life.

"Do I look as good as how I feel, darling?"

Until now.

Suddenly it felt like years of sickness had caught up with him, spun his head around and made his stomach curl.

It was a coincidence that this sickness would appear the second he laid eyes on Hisoka, wearing the suit that was fitted just for him.

It was a coincidence that he looked like all those marble statues in museums, sculpted in the image of gods and lovers.

It was a coincidence that this sickness could be swallowed and repressed like any measly feeling he had ever encountered.

"I told you to wear a shirt, maggot."

And the symptoms disappeared.

But the disease didn't.

----------------------------------------------------

Gon: Killua?

It had been quite a while since Killua had responded to any of Gons messages. Well, it had been about 2 hours. But compared to their normal pace of slinging messages at each other any passing minute, this felt like an eternity to the young boy. He wondered if he had done anything to upset his friend, though their last conversation was just usual banter about breakfast, snacks, and the new battle pass.

He fidgeted in his seat a bit more, the classwork Aunt Mito had supplied him with almost entirely forgotten. The now broken routine made his bones itch, but the attempt of any distraction just made him fear he'd miss when Killua would finally come back.

So, he waited.

He even started half-heartedly filling out the math quiz that had been taunting him from the corner of the desk, though he always glanced back at the computer screen.

Question number 27: (X-3)²-25= 0

Ping

Gon wasn't sure what to do first; Be thankful that finally Killua replied or be thankful that he found an escape from this hell called math.

Kil: Yo.

GON: Hey!!! Are you okay? :O

Kil: Yeah, whats up?

He was obviously not okay. But Gon knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t make things better, though if he pretended like everything was alright would just be an issue bottled up.

GON: Do you wanna play some Fortnite Duos maybe? We can try grinding for the new tiger costume you like :D

Kil: cant

Kil: my mom took my fucking PC away in attempt to become mother of the year

GON: :( im sorry!! But im sure she’ll give it back soon, right?

Kil: fat chance, I probably have to wait till my brother comes back from his stupid trip

Gon tilted his head in thought. This has probably been the longest Killua had ever talked about his family with him. Up to this point it had only been passing remarks about siblings whose actions and personalities melted into each other due to lack of discernible unique traits, and that his family was rich.

GON: How long is that going to be?

GON: Maybe your mom will calm down and change her mind <:(

Kil: lmao, maybe if id actually study now shed be satisfied enough

Kil: but theres no way in hell im going to give her what she wants

Kil: ESPECIALLY NOW

GON: So whatre you going to do??

Kil: idk

Kil: talk to you and think about how to set fire to this place?

The young boy smiled, though for some reason he could feel a knot tighten in his chest.

GON: How about only talking to me for now?

And they talked. For a couple of hours, they talked about Gons new streaming schedule, about how he wanted to have one dedicated day in the week solely for collaborations. They talked about a new exploit for Super Mario Sunshine that could potentially scrap 10 seconds off of the current World record if executed correctly. They talked about how Leorios medical-student VLOG channel had been trending again after he made a hypocritical video about the damages of energy drinks.

Kil: he could have at least cleaned the infamous pyramid out of frame…

GON: Haha he said that in hindsight too

GON: But I think it was his boyfriend who finally made him clean it up -v-“

Kil: must be nice to have someone living with you who gives a shit

Kil: I think at this point the housekeeper hasn’t even touched the minefield that’s my brothers room in months

GON: It can’t be that bad :”D

Kil: you bet?

Kil: what do you think, how much chip dust is needed for an anime figure to come to life?

The mental image of Killuas home slowly shifted in Gons mind again. A large mansion, bedrooms as big as some apartments, with individual housekeepers for everyone. And one room dedicated to imitating a postapocalyptic anime merch shop.

And somewhere in that large mansion, is a room probably equipped with a messy bed, a (now empty) desk and gaming chair, maybe some shelves with books and games. In the middle of it a slightly blurry figure, maybe a bit shorter than Gon, pale skin and messy hair and piercing bright eyes.

He had seen pictures of Killua, a handful of selfies taken at his desk, one picture his sister (who he’d mention the least from his mysterious family) had taken of him in front of a rose bush. And no matter how dimly lit the picture would be, or out of focus, or taken from a distance; His eyes were always the first thing Gon would focus on. At first, he was convinced that he was using a filter, there’s no way someone in real life would have eyes like that.

But Killua did. Killua hid electricity behind those eyes, dangerous and yet enticing, beaming with a life energy that can barely be contained. Gon had heard poems and songs about blue eyes, though none of them ever came close to describing eyes like these. Or the feeling Gon would get from looking at them, tingling in his fingertips, making him smile and giggle and stomp his feet. Kind of like getting a victory royale.

Gon has other friends besides Killua. But none ever made him feel the same way when they talked. He craved no one’s presence as much as he craved Killuas. And something inside him felt the constant urge to tell Killua that, to tell him how much he meant to him, what’s so amazing about him, how he didn’t want this friendship to end.

But that’s just not something friends would tell each other unprompted, and it’s not something that could easily told to Killua, who danced around the word “friends” as if it were a dangerous animal. So, he didn’t say anything.

Kil: gon?

Kil: did you fall asleep?

GON: No haha, I was just thinking about how huge your house must be!!

Kil: yeah its huge and ugly, sometimes way too loud, sometimes really fucking quiet

Kil: im sure it must be nicer in your home

GON: I mean, it is pretty nice, but its also a little lonely I think

GON: All my friends live closer to the city, so usually no one is around to just come outside and hang out :^T

Kil: if I could id fly over right now and you could show me all the gross spiders that rule your continent with 8 iron fists

GON: They aren’t gross!! Spiders are really fun once you get to know them :^D

GON: And you know, you’d always be welcome here, Aunt Mito would be thrilled to meet you ^^

And Gon meant it. Though Killua never let too much slip of his family life and surroundings, Gon could tell it was trouble, and he deeply wished he could give Killua even just a one-day break from whatever went down in that mansion.

Kil: since we are both home schooled, we wouldnt even need to wait for summer break or anything

GON: Right :^D And its not like either of us are big on studying either ^^”

Gon glanced briefly at the disregarded Math work and shuddered.

Kil: you mean it, right?

Kil: if I were to text you some time that im at an airport and im coming over, you wouldnt let me be stranded somewhere on your prison continent, right?

GON: Of course not!!!

GON: … but I’d prefer it if you give a heads up so I can clean my room :^D

Kil: thanks gon, I appreciate it

Kil: i appreciate you

Gon felt his heartrate skyrocket. Of course he’d let Killua stay, even if he rang at his door without any prior notice. Because even if it goes unsaid, Killua was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. And he’d do anything to keep him safe, or to just give him one minute that he doesn’t have to think about his family. He wanted to see those blue eyes reflect the Australian sun, free of worry and tension.

GON: I appreciate you, too

#hisoillu #killugon #Hunter X Hunter #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #hisoka marrow #illumi zoldyck #fanfiction #hxh fanfic #yeah this fic isnt dead fsdjgh

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before-whatgod · 3 years

Text

How I Would Fix the MCU Movies (in chrono order)

Black Widow is mentioned but there are no spoilers! also this is super long sorry lol

CA:TFA

--More time with the howling commandos- instead of a montage with their battles with sit with them and feel their struggles. we feel not only capt’s grief but everyone on the team when bucky ‘dies’. idk would have loved to see more of a band of bothers bond

Captain Marvel

--I saw/read somewhere that her story could have work really well with a similar structure as CA:TFA and i agree. they were so concerned with making carol look powerful that they forgot to give her the fiery/badass personality we were promised. there was too much telling not enough showing

Iron Man

--Literally Nothing. Perfect. Great Intro to the series.

Iron Man 2

--again really solid movie i wish the villains were a bit more developed by tbh this is my fav iron man movie

The Incredible Hulk

--babes i dont even remember this movie its super cool they keep rossi around from it tho. hes literally the only thing the mcu kept from this monstrosity i would keep a similar plot structure but with mark ruffalo and a better script and tbh a better evrything. cannot tell you where to start with this jesus

Thor

--would have liked to see of the personality thor has later on in the timeline line- but it is interesting to think maybe he developed his humor and friendliness from his time on earth, idk this movie was kinda dull? i mean everything is dull compared to ragnarok and better compared to the dark world so idk how to fix that- maybe less of chris’s weird screaming- definitely less of chris’s screaming

The Avengers

--honestly love this movie-great set up to the team dynamics wouldn’t change anything. i love the nostalgia i get from watching this

Iron Man 3

--another movie i dont really remember but? this is the one with the bunny right? i feel like after iron man 1 the quality of tony’s enemies has gone down hill but i could watch rdj do anything so overall good experience

Thor: The Dark World

--besties what even happened in this movie like, jane babes what are we doing. loki is as amazing as ever tho. but like ‘oh no lokis dead again whatever are we going to do’ i would simply through the whole thing away- keeping jane going to asgard, loki being dramatic, and the relationships of the asgardian gang we get to see. also the reality stone thats pretty important

CA:TWA

--I. Love. This. Movie. my fav in the whole timeline. can you tell im a capt girl? literally the best wow won’t change a thing

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1

--so! much! fun! i love their family dynamics and tbh i love peter quill (we all did until pratt was a dick but)

Guardians Vol. 2

--I wasn’t obsessed with this movie but I cant quite figure out how i would change it- it was visually beautiful and emotionally beautiful but idk something felt off until the very end

Age of Ultron

--hot take- i really like this movie. i like how it completely changes the direction of the series and makes the mcu feel so real, like the friend ship seen- i would have like more clint so his character arc in endgame would have been impactful i dont hate the farm family but man i sure dont love them jesus but yea i love the dialogue and the only thing i would really change is clint’s involve meant. also helen cho deserved to have a bigger part in the mcu

Ant-Man

--super fun! i feel like this movie is great the way it is- a familiar super hero movie when the series was starting to get pretty dense with the lore wont change anything

CA:CW

--i read somewhere this movie was originally going to be steve and sam and the rest of the squad finding bucky and i was robbed. over time the mcu starting telling us how great steve and buckys relationship was instead of showing us. like men can show each other affection marvel that is a thing that happens but tbh i loved this movie- i would change a lot but i still really enjoyed it

Spiderman: Homecoming

--its so cute i love it but I miss andrew garfields peter- he felt more like the comics but besties i love this movie and tom i would just change how ton is characterized to be more comic actuate but also maybe not idk

Doctor Strange

-- tilda swinton owns my heart and sole. but imma be honest i saw this in theaters 3 weeks after a horrid concussion and i remember none of it and thinking about it makes me sick (love head trauma) so imma just leave it how it is

Black Panther

--nothing. its art.

Black Widow

--I’m writing this around an hour after I watched the movie and tbh I dont know how I feel about it. I dont love it yet but im not quite sure why yet- its most likely the pacing it felt a little rushed to me but idk yet ill be able to gather all my thoughts in a later post prolly

Thor: Ragnarok

-- to think i can even dream to improve on anything taika waititi is putting bad karma into the universe. that man is a genius. you can feel just how comfortable everyone is in their characters which makes for a great performance

Ant-Man and the Wasp

--the breather we all needed after iw but i dont think anyone really loved it- no idea how to fix it but yknow it was just bland

Avengers: Infinity War

--I loved it. I loved it so much. obviously there are some bad things here and there but i would not change a thing

Avengers: Endgame

--I hated it. I hated it so much. obviously there are some good things here and there but i would not keep a thing.

(I have in fact written an essay about said topic bc i felt so passionate about it i did not know what else to do)

Spiderman: Far From Home

--I dont know something was off for me with this one- again I think it was a pacign issues but I am not sure how I would change it

I might do the tv shows in another post- but if i do those i want to include the netfilx marvel tv shows as well as the agent carter and agents of shield series(es?)

anyway thank you for reading all of this if you did!

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years

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so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

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amaryllisblackthorn · 4 years

Text

so I'm going through 02 subs to get a better idea and track how takeru feels about ken post-kaiser

interesting is that in ep25, takeru says to miyako that he's opposed to ken joining the team, but unlike miyako takeru does think, like daisuke, that ken has changed and isn't the same as he used to be.

it's interesting that he's opposed to ken joining the team but also thinks ken has changed.

this makes him and daisuke the only ones who (consciously) think ken had changed at this point. miyako deep down feels that ken has changed but she wrestles with that feeling throughout the episode. hikari is unsure and wants to wait and watch him more, and iori is steadfast about his feelings.

if takeru thinks ken has changed, then why is he opposed to ken joining them?

it doesn't seem to be about holding a grudge or being unable to forgive him. the way takeru says that he's against ken joining the team is interesting, too. kind of soft and like maybe he’s not sure how miyako feels ? I don't know how to describe it. its not like iori's passionate no; and hikari's answer isn't so much that she's opposed to ken joining as it is she doesn't know yet. like, he’s committed to his position unlike Hikari, but he’s not as angry or intense about it like Iori? as in like, he has reasons, but they’re not reasons of like, anger? idk. and we don’t really get to hear why he’s against it, either. hikari’s unsure of ken’s intentions, iori can’t forgive ken for all the digimon he’s hurt, and miyako is uncomfortable that ken killed the digimon which makes her question if she can say he’s really changed. but takeru doesn’t really express why he’s opposed to ken joining the team, just that he is. it’s also kind of interesting that takeru is the only one we don’t see daisuke trying to convince one-on-one.

is takeru against it bc he thinks ken needs more time before being ready to team up? bc he thinks the team needs more time before teaming up with ken (like, the teamwork wouldn't be good bc of how iori's feeling, for example )? something else?

what's even more interesting is takeru overlooking ken and daisuke's conversation. to me it looks like daisuke caught ken on kens way home from school, in tamachi. if it was in tamachi, why was takeru there?? did he follow daisuke? did he want to talk to ken himself? did he just want to observe ken? bc like the way takeru is posed, it kind of looks like he unintentionally saw them on his way home, but that doesn’t make sense if he’s in tamachi; also, he’s alone and not with miyako or iori. so why was takeru in tamachi?

and what takeru says is interesting, too. I actually originally didn't get that he was referring to ken when he said it; I thought he was referring to daisuke (bc patamon was talking about daisuke) and I was kind of confused until I saw somewhere else contextualizing it as re:ken.

takeru says that [ken] doesn't seem to see things the way he used to but he looks determined, and he wonders what he's thinking.

[ EDIT: actually, now i do think he’s talking about Daisuke. his use of [demo] implies this statement is connected to his earlier one, which is him agreeing with Patamon that Daisuke is working hard. group this with the focus on Daisuke from Takeru’s focal point in the shot makes it seem he is talking about Daisuke when he says that he doesn’t seem to see things the way he used to. aaah im confused again ]

it then seems like takeru calls miyako afterwards?? as like a result of what he saw, to which we hear miyako say 'anyway I understand what daisuke was trying to say' before hanging up. and I'm like interested in why takeru made that phone call and what he said? like. he's opposed to ken joining the team, so he probably wasn't calling to try to persuade her ('like maybe we should give him a chance?'). but he does think ken has changed, which he thinks in previous scene with miyako and reiterates after watching daisuke and ken, so was he calling miyako because he felt like he should tell her that maybe ken has changed, irrelevant to if he should join the team? it's just... so interesting ...

and like. a lot of the kids hang ups are that ken seemingly killed an enemy digimon. but takeru was with daisuke in being resolved to kill the golemon if they had to in this episode, so I doubt takeru was opposed to ken joining the team bc of that.

in ep26 when daisuke is talking about understanding ken’s heart because of his crest, takeru says that daisuke ‘may be able to understand it but I don't really get it' and the way he says it is...interesting? like it’s not something he’s happy about, that he doesn’t get it.i really wish i could hear/know the actual words he’s saying, but the music is kind of too loud when he says the ‘but i don’t really get it’. following the subs, takeru is basically saying ‘daisuke may be able to understand ken’s heart, but i don’t really get it’. basically, takeru does believe that ken has changed (like daisuke has said) but doesn’t understand ken’s heart.

[EDIT: I think I figured out what Takeru is saying at the second part -- ‘boku ni wa, chotto pintokonai na’ which is accurately represented by the sub ‘I don’t really get it’. pintokonai is the negative form of pintokuru, which is translated as ‘get’ and also means ‘know intuitively’. this is probably a further hint at the jogress between ken and daisuke. but good to note.]

and when daisuke says that kens trying hard in his own way, takeru replies that he just hopes ken isn't doing it to satisfy himself (just to ease his guilt). takeru doesn't say this angrily or bitterly. he seems to like genuinely mean it but also is not sure that's not what kens doing? maybe even a little sad? maybe? and they have takeru looking back while the other three are a distant behind him looking forward, indicating a sort of moment with daisuke and takeru in regards to ken. they’re the only two still looking at ken, while the others are walking on.

ive looked a little more into it and what takeru says is “sono ganbari ga ... jiko manzoku de owaranakereba ii kedo ne” or iikedo(ne) i’ve seen them both ways. now the ‘kereba’ usually means that it’s a (provisional?) conditional form and the na means it’s negative, and they’re attached to the owaru, which means ‘to end/finish’. so it’s basically ‘if [it] doesn’t end’ -- basically if i understand correctly i think the sentence can also be translated at ‘it’s good, if that hard work doesn’t end with/in self-satisfaction’ or ‘if that hard work (...) doesn’t end with/in self-satisfaction, it’s good’, or even ‘that hard work is good unless it ends with/in self-satisfaction’. i have seen ‘ii kedo ne’ translated as ‘i hope/wish’ in certain contexts but the use of the (provisional) conditional form, i think, is lost using that equivalent. like, the nuance, maybe? idk its hard for me to say because i’m not japanese nor am i remotely fluent. wikipedia says that this form is used “In conditionals where the emphasis rests more on the condition than the result”, and like the overall meaning is basically the same with ‘i just hope that effort isn’t just to satisfy himself’ because the emphasis is on the condition of ‘(not) doing it for self-satisfaction’ and both suggest takeru’s unsure on if ken’s currently meeting those conditions, but idk i think ‘i just hope that effort isn’t just to satisfy himself’ can possibly come off a bit more negative/pessimistic/idk ? im probably overdoing. i just thought it was interesting

also the way takeru comes up with the recon plan in ep28 is very comprise/find a solution we're all happy with - y, for a lack of better words, which will kind of come up again at the end of the episode. hikari and miyako think it's a bad idea to go into the house bc it's almost def a trap. takeru & ken are aware it's probably a trap but they and daisuke think it's best to go in bc there's not really any other choice, but ken wants to go in alone so the others don't get involved/hurt, and daisuke is against ken going in there alone; I don't remember iori's initial opinion.

takeru then suggests that 'how about daisuke-Kun, Ichijouji-kun, and I go in to check it out first'. iori wants to go too, whether to pay back ken, to keep an eye on him, or because he doesn't want to feel like he owes ken anything by relying on him for this, and takeru voluntarily stays behind so miyako and hikari aren't alone.

Takeru's done this before in ep19, which comes off a problematically sexist, and im not sayin it isn't, but I'm wondering if it's more about numbers to him? like, it's not safe to leave the two of them behind not bc they're girls but bc it's just two of them, and three is a better number ? especially when you're on a recon/sneaky mission which was sort of the case in ep19 and this one, you want fewer numbers to avoid getting noticed. I'd have to go back and pay attention to see if that's consistent or if it really is just sexism. (hikari and miyako leave daisuke alone in ep19 which flies in the face of the number strategy, but that doesn't really shed light on Takeru's motivations; tho regardless that was kind of a messed up thing to do re:daisuke?) bc like. it seems likely /really/ sexist to assume the youngest should be responsible for the two girls just bc he's a boy, especially when one of the girls is the oldest member.

then ep29, when iori is hesitant to destroy archnemon, ,ken says that if that’s how it is to leave it to him so they don’t have to be the ones to defeat/kill her. takeru then comes in with ‘don’t try to act cool!’ (also used to me show off, try to impress, etc) and it’s..interesting. there’s like...emotion in his voice but like...it’s not strong anger/hatred or something..i don’t know how to describe it tho. he then goes and says ‘how about we find some place to temporarily imprison her?’

so what does the ‘don’t try to act cool’ refer to?

it was said in response to ken offering to kill archnemon so the other kids didn’t have to. takeru also responds with a (temporary) solution, a sort of compromise, before they have to rush to decisions. the digimon think they have to kill archnemon bc she will not stop. iori is vocally uncomfortable/against that. (miyako doesn’t say anything, but she has been shown to have the same feelings as iori on the matter; hikari has been shown to be reluctant to kill but accepting of the fact that sometimes its the only choice; daisuke and takeru are both for it if it comes to that). ken wants to be the one to kill archnemon so the other kids dont have to. so takeru’s solution here is let’s find a place to imprison her for now, and we can decide what to do then.

takeru probably isn’t protesting the fact that ken thinks killing archnemon is the answer first in itself. like i said before, takeru was completely onboard with killing the golemon with daisuke if it came to that. so what does he find objectionable in what ken proposed? what is it that takeru is objecting against when he tells ken not to act cool?

i think it may be referring to ken being willing to be the one to bear the sin, so to speak. in other words, ken’s sort of martyr complex motivated by his guilt . like, in a ‘don’t do this to satisfy your guilt complex’. he doesn’t find the proposed action objectionable but the motivation, which is part of why he proposes to delay making a hard decision on archnemon’s fate, so ken doesn’t do it just because he feels like he has to be the one to do it, because of his guilt or masochism. if that makes sense. i think it sort of ties into what takeru was saying back in episode 26, about how he hopes ken’s hard work isn’t for self-satisfaction (to satisfy his guilt).

in episode 30, all the kids are disappointed that iori and ken aren’t getting along, which seems to mean that the rest of the kids at this point aren’t against ken being on the team anymore. hikari makes a comment about ‘i cant say i don’t know how iori-kun feels, but...’, implying that she personally still has some reservations about ken, but isnt against him being on the team. this also implies that takeru is no longer opposed to ken being on the team. so between ep25 and ep30, takeru is no longer opposed to ken being on the team.

also takeru looks noticeably mad after archnemon and mummon escape at the end of ep29 and speaks pretty angrily when he asks them ‘what do you want’ when they show up in ep30, and that could be in response to archnemon saying in episode 29 that her life’s purpose is for destruction. the blackwargreymon arc goes over how takeru feels about that kind of motivation.

i still have to go over the destiny stones arc before i can make a proper analysis of takeru’s perspective but so far from what i’ve gather, i think takeru’s main concern is regarding ken’s motivations (re:his guilt). takeru believes that ken has changed and is also not against killing digimon if it comes to that, so those can’t be the reasons he was opposed to ken joining the team. and the few comments he makes in regards to his thoughts re:ken seem to be connected by that idea (his motives).

‘you may be able to understand [ken’s heart], but i still don't really get it/know intuitively.’

‘ i just hope that effort isn't just to satisfy himself’/’it’s good, if that hard work doesn’t end with/in his self-satisfaction'

‘don’t try to act cool!’ in response to ‘if that’s how it is, then let me be the one to do it. you guys don’t have to be the ones to take him down (ie kill)’

i’m curious to see how that carries over to the destiny stones arc and the resolution. i remember yamato drawing a parallel to iori about takeru and ken feeling the same way about those who use powers of darkness for destruction, and i recall ken saying that those who do so are ‘unforgivable’, the same word takeru used back in ep20, i think, to refer to kimeramon and the same word takeru uses in the destiny stones arc; i’ll have to note if takeru has a reaction to ken saying that, and if that has any significance -- ken being motivated not just by his guilt but by righteous indignant anger.

something else interesting to note is that takeru and daisuke seem to have similar feelings about ken -- that he’s changed and that it’s not a good thing that he seems to be motivated by guilt (Daisuke’s iconic ‘live’ (pre)jogress speech). a big difference is, though, that daisuke reaches out to ken, and takeru doesn’t.

part of that is because daisuke is a really earnest guy, for lack of a better word. i’m also wondering if the embarrassment takeru says he feels in that drama cd regarding losing it and attacking ken has anything to do with takeru not reaching out to him? i think the first time takeru really ‘reaches out’ to ken is when takeru offers ken the food at that restaurant at the end of ep37, or maybe even earlier in that episode when takeru says that thing about ‘not losing the light inside of you’ in response to/to refute ken’s statement regarding the darkness; the next episode having takeru gladly accept ken’s invitation to his party. but like i said, i need to watch the episodes and observe before i can actually say anything.

i’m just really interesting in understanding takeru’s feelings regarding ken post-kaiser, because i feel like it’s a little vaguer than the others are? at least to me. so im finding this all interesting.

so, the big questions for me:

why is takeru opposed to ken joining the team?

why was takeru in tamachi? (if he was)

why did takeru call miyako? (if it was him)

why was takeru no longer opposed to ken joining the team by ep30?

what did takeru mean when he told ken to not act cool?

as i’ve shown i have some ideas, but hopefully after this watchthrough i’ll have a better understanding or something.

also there’s a good chance i mislabeled an episode or several so im apologizing now if i missed any

EDIT: I got to the Christmas episode, wrote my notes, so I’ll be able to finish the analysis pretty soon ! (some of) my preliminary thoughts on this part are basically:

ken probably thinks takeru dislikes him until the qinglongmon episode

takeru probably doesn’t realize that ken probably thinks he dislikes him until around the qinglongmon episode

this may be related to takeru not really realizing how private/reserved he is about his inner feelings/thoughts and how it comes off

among other things. ep 34 and 35 are pretty meaty which is why it's taking a while to get my thoughts together in a semi-coherent manner

#digimon adventure 02 #digimon #adventure 02 #digimon adventure #takeru takaishi #ab analyzes

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