#idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[sivyera]

Dating Ekko but Vi has a crush on you...

so let's start from the beginning (from the start it's kinda boring ngl)

you, ekko, powder and vi (also with mylo and claggor before their death) were childhood friends

but after vander's, mylo's and claggor's death, after silco took jinx under his wing and after vi was put in jail, everything change

you didn't saw ekko or anyone else for a long time, so you were alone

but one night after many years, firelights found you and kinda kidnap you if i can call it like that

you had a bag over your head so you couldn't see anything, but you heard someone walking around you

that someone took the bag off your head, she squinted at the light and then you saw a person with and owl looking mask?

you frowned and you switched to defense mode, asking questions like who is he, what he want, etc..

the person didn't say anything and took off his mask slowly

you gasped when you saw ekko, but now he wasn't as cute as he was when he was a lil kid, he was hot

he released you out of handcuffs and you immediately hugged him, he hugged you back

well after that you talked for hours, telling each other what happened etc

ekko showed you what he built over those years and you loved it

and you loved it to the point that you become a firelight and you were ekko's right hand (but don't tell scar;))

and after few months you two started dating

so ekko now captured vi and had a 'little' talk with her and when they went to release caitlyn from her handcuffs, you were there

you were standing in front of caitlyn giving her some food so she can get a bit energy

vi didn't recognize you at start but when you turn to face her she was amazed, you change a lot

you walked towards her or that what she thought

you walked towards ekko, who was sitting next to her, you bend down to give him a kiss on his forehead

when you bend to kiss him, vi and caitlyn could perfectly see your ass, which made caitlyn blush and vi smirk

vi liked you for a long time but she didn't really thought about love when she was a kid

but when she realized you're dating ekko, ohoho she didn't like it a bit

she was jealous, like a lot but she could hide it well (that what she thought)

she thought that she was better partner for you, she was older and stronger, etc

she tried to restore her relationship with you, because she didn't see you for years, so ekko didn't mind at first

but ekko isn't stupid and he notice that vi is more touchy with you and she is always checking you out

so he became jealous as well

so whenever vi was nearby, he put his arms around your waist or kiss you

vi just rolled her eyes but inside she was furious

vi flirted with you, a lot

sometimes her and ekko get into a fights because of you, but nothing serious just vi picking up on ekko telling him tha you deserve someone mature or a real (wo)man

vi makes fake scenarios in her head when she sees you and ekko kissing, hugging or just holding hands, imagining that she was at ekko's place

ekko would sometimes complain when you two cuddle or are alone that vi is looking at you too much and that you gave her too much attention, i have to admit that he is also kinda insecure that you will leave him, but he just loves you with his whole heart

she would also stare at you, just admiring your beaty and ekko didn't like it, like he agree with her that you are beautiful, but you were his and his only

when he gets more jealous or just overwhelmed with things, he would fuck you all night, make you moan his name for vi to hear and he would mark your neck with hickeys for vi to see them the next day (yk let her know who you belong to)

it kinda affect their friendship because vi is stubborn and she can't give up or take a hint

and ekko definitely wouldn't give you to her, you are everything to him

I hope you like it guys, I thought this would be cool idea and in my head it seemed like it but rn idk how to feel about it:)

#arcane #arcane x reader #arcane x reader headcanons #arcane ekko #arcane ekko x reader #arcane ekko headcanons #arcane ekko x reader headcanons #arcane vi #arcane vi x reader #arcane ekko x reader x vi #arcane fluff #arcane x you #ekko x reader #ekko headcanons #ekko x reader headcanons #vi #vi x reader #vi x reader headcanons #ekko x reader x vi #ekko x reader x vi headcanons

[demoneyecandy]

Lust and Love - Part 1

Work: Lust and Love (Part 1)

WC: 6.4k Relationship: Asmodeus x Reader, Asmodeus x MC AFAB reader, she/her pronouns and gendered terms used for reader Warning: Explicit, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Yes, my Asmo is probably ooc, do I care? Not really. He’s my poor little meow meow and I’ll decide why he’s crying.

Description: Asmodeus is having trouble with self-destructive habits, as usual, but this time M/C is there to break him out of his spiral. He shows his appreciation in a very on-brand way.

The fifth-born knew that people talked about him. How could they not? He was simply the most interesting being in all three realms, who could blame them? Some would call him flawless, confident, and sensual – he wasn’t prized in the Celestial Realm for nothing. Others called him vapid, self-absorbed, apathetic, loose, among other nasty comments. If anyone asked, he’d reply that he didn’t pay any attention to the haters. Why would they matter when everyone else knows he’s perfect? And if anyone noticed that after a day with more insults than usual Asmo would be tanked within half an hour of leaving the house? Well, that was just a coincidence. They all know he loves to party, don’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

With the introduction of social media to the Devildom his behavior only spiraled out of control. Devilgram served as a permanent reminder that no matter what he did he would not be universally loved. For someone like Asmo, that was his weakness. The insults cut a lot deeper than he would ever show. His whole identity was based around being desirable. He was the Avatar of Lust, not a scumbag or shut-in like his brothers.

Though the people leaving those comments kept their voices down when he passed them in the halls at RAD, the anonymity of the internet emboldened them. The negative comments were quickly reported by his fans but that didn’t stop them from being burned into his mind. From the more basic “whore” and “stuck-up bitch” to the more involved, “Who does he think he is? He’s not that cute”, “Idk why this loser has so many simps”, “bet he only has this many likes on his posts because he fucked them all lmao”, he had gotten all types of negative comments on his social media posts. When he would complain to his brothers in his usual over-the-top fashion, eyes full of tears and voice several octaves higher than it needed to be, they would shrug him off the same way they did when he told them about his favorite hair product line being discontinued or missing a sale at Majolish. In a way, that was probably his fault – if he gave two things the same weight in the way he presented the problem, of course his family would assume it was just Asmo being dramatic again.

Sometimes at night, when memories of the war haunted him, he would open his phone and scroll through the comments on the Devilgram posts he’d made that day. Anything to occupy his thoughts. The positive ones faded into the background – he knew he was beautiful; he knew he was a fashion icon, and that his skin was flawless. He also knew he wasn’t worth the attention he received, and yet he craved it more than air. He’d re-read every nasty thing that had been said about him, letting the words sink in and join the swirling torrent of self-hatred in his head. He genuinely didn’t know why he did it – maybe the same reason he’d go out and indulge in his sin every night he could. Diavolo had once tried to get the brothers to speak to some counselors after they fell, and his counselor had said his behavior seemed like a form of self-harm. That was the last time he saw that poor excuse for a therapist – how in the world could pleasure be harmful? Of course, there were the times where pain was involved, but that was all consensual. He’d never allow anyone to mar his gorgeous skin. He had already spent ages trying every suggestion he’d ever received to make his scars fade to the point that they were nothing more than barely-there pale lines from cuts and missing spots of pigmentation from burns, he certainly wouldn’t risk adding more. He felt like everyone could see them, like everyone was staring, but he knew rationally that they were only noticeable to him.

When the exchange student had first arrived and he had discovered that she was immune to his abilities, he wasn’t ashamed to admit he had spent a few nights making his way through the highlights of his little black book. His booty calls were proof that he was desirable in the form of men and women writhing in his sheets until the early hours of the morning. When he realized that she liked him anyway? That was the best he had felt in a long time. On the outside of course he played it off, keeping up his flirtatious banter with the human. But to realize that there was someone who liked him, not because of his charm? Or because he could make them feel good? It was exhilarating and terrifying. Sure, she likes him now, but what about when she realizes what everyone else has? That he’s nothing but a bed warmer with a pretty face? He dreaded that day. It was coming sooner or later, he knew it, so he would just do his best to keep the human from seeing any of the cracks he covered up with product.

It was one of those nights tonight. He broke a nail and the visible imperfection sent him into a tailspin until he could get to his room and fix his manicure. As he waited for the polish to dry, he was scrolling through the comments on a selfie he had posted during lunch at RAD. M/C had said he looked cute, so he wanted to believe it, but here he was. Giving so much weight to the opinions of people who couldn’t even say shit to his face.

His spiral was interrupted before it could really get going by a knock on his bedroom door. If it were anyone else he’d yell at them to go away, but he knew from the pattern of the knock that it was M/C.

“Just a moment, darling” he called.

Jumping out of bed, he walked over to his vanity to be sure his hair was perfect and his lip gloss didn’t need to be reapplied.  As satisfied with his reflection as he could ever be, he put on a smile and made his way to open his door. Leaning sensually on the doorframe, he gave M/C his best “fuck me” eyes as he greeted them;

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the most delectable human in the three realms. How can I help you, dear?”

M/C’s face lit up and she laughed at the demon’s antics.

“I’m having some trouble winding down for the night, and I thought I could relax here for a little bit. It’s so calming when you play with my hair”.

Asmodeus was both relieved and frustrated as the human walked past him and settled onto his bed. On the one hand, his spiral had been interrupted before he could do anything particularly self-destructive. On the other hand, it meant he was all amped up with negative feelings and no real outlet for them. There was none of the catharsis that comes along with making bad decisions. It was like that dread and anxiety and self-hatred was sitting in his gut, but he certainly wasn’t going to let M/C see him crack if he could help it. He slowly shut his bedroom door and sat next to where his human had made herself comfortable on his bed.

His eyes roamed her body, lingering just a bit too long on her plush thighs and the peek of skin where her pajama top rode up. It took her a second, but she realized where his eyes were lingering, and she quickly pulled down her shirt. That was fine by him, all it did was expose her collarbones, which he took in just as happily. She blushed and turned away, hoping to regain her composure before he noticed the red tint in her cheeks. She had no such luck, but it was cute that she thought she could hide anything from him.

He did his best to keep the predatory glint out of his eyes. The demon knew that if he came on too strong she would back off, like she had on the few occasions he’d run into her after a night out and his confidence got the best of him. The next morning he would pretend he had blacked out, but he treasured the memories of the trembling of her frame beneath his hands when he’d come in close to whisper in her ear some of the naughty thoughts he’d had about her and the startled noise she’d made the time he slapped her ass on his way up to bed. It had been just his luck that Mammon had been at the end of the hallway, so he’d gotten quite the talking to from Lucifer the next morning. Something about not taking advantage of the exchange student, how he had to show more respect, the reputation of Diavolo’s exchange program, blah blah blah. The only thing he had cared about was that it hadn’t been M/C herself who’d told Lucifer, it had been a jealous brother. He had, in fact, felt a lovely spark of lust rise up in his human on every occasion he’d gotten bold from the (frankly, impressive) amount of demonus in his system. After all, he’s a demon, not a monster. Sexual assault is anathema to sexual pleasure and therefore unacceptable at every level for the Avatar of Lust. Sometimes late at night when he’d touch himself he’d remember how she’d looked like a deer in the headlights, so afraid of his touch but so desperately wanting it just the same. Other times, when he was feeling more sentimental, he’d think of her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes softened when she looked at him.

After she thought her face was back to normal (it wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that when she just looked so damn cute), she moved around until her head was in his lap and her body was stretched out in a pile of his softest blankets, grabbing his hand and placing it on her head in an unvoiced demand for him to stroke her hair. His heart melted – this was all she ever asked of him. At the same time, a small voice in the back of his head spoke.

You know why she doesn’t try to fuck you, right? You’re not good enough for her and she knows it. I’m sure she’s fucking one of your brothers instead. She’s found someone who could satisfy her in a way you never could. After all, you’re nothing but a placeholder. Easy and good enough for a night, but why would she want you when she could have them? Why would she want damaged goods? A vapid, self-obsessed, pathetic excuse for a demon. You were a shitty angel too.

He shook his head almost imperceptibly, trying to will the thoughts away. He busied himself running his hands through M/C’s hair, carefully untangling any knots he found along the way. Her eyes had closed, letting herself sink into the feeling. There was a gentle smile on her face, and she raised her chin to lean into his touch, leaving her neck completely exposed. Vulnerable. She was allowing herself to be entirely vulnerable with him, a being who could slit her throat in an instant, or tug her hair hard enough to pull her head clean off her body. He felt tears well up in his eyes at her trust, but the thoughts kept coming, taking him back down into that bad place he had been heading for before M/C came to his door.

You’re nothing. She knows you’re nothing, and that’s why she isn’t afraid. Your pact makes you useless, you couldn’t hurt her if you wanted to. You’re a declawed kitten. Pathetic. Why would she want you? She has her pick of suitors in the Devildom, you wouldn’t even make the top-10. She pities you, that’s why she lets you touch her.

M/C had thought it was strange that Asmodeus had been quiet, but she figured he must have been tired, so she wasn’t going to bug him when he was already doing her a favor by calming her down for the night. Truthfully, she had just wanted to see her favorite demon. He had been more withdrawn at home for the last few weeks, spending more nights out at The Fall locking lips with anyone in arm’s reach and chugging demonus like it was water. She was mildly concerned for him. His brothers had said that he got in moods like this sometimes, but at least he wasn’t bringing home a new demon (or demons) every night. M/C wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but she was a little jealous hearing about his past behavior. She knew it was silly, it wasn’t like she even knew him then, and she had no say in what he did in his spare time. It wasn’t like she was a virgin either. Still, Levi had looked at her knowingly when they’d told her, recognizing the envy welling up in her.

She realized that something was wrong when she felt wetness drip onto her cheek.

“Asmo?” M/C opened her eyes, greeted with the most disheveled version of the Avatar of Lust that she’d ever seen. Not that that said much, she rarely saw him with a single hair out of place, but seeing his eyes puffy and tear tracks down his face was enough to seriously concern her. She sat up slowly, reaching to grab his hand from where it had paused in her hair.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” her thumb gently stroked across the back of his hand. Rather than the gesture comforting him, as she’d hoped, he made eye contact only to begin audibly crying. Still unsure what was happening, she pulled herself up onto her knees to face him, bringing her other hand to his face and holding mimicking the motions she was making on the back of his hand along his cheekbone. She tried to keep the movement steady, methodical, to give him something to focus on so he could calm down enough to tell her what was happening. He leaned into her touch, grabbing her hand with his free hand and holding it there like he was scared she’d disappear if he let go. She shushed him quietly, reminding him of her presence whenever he seemed to be retreating into his own head.

Neither of them know how long it was before Asmodeus’s sobbing turned into pathetic little hiccupping, his eyes long since dried out. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them too afraid to drag them back to the present moment. M/C spoke first.

“Can I get you anything? Some water? A washcloth?”

He nodded, avoiding eye contact out of sheer embarrassment and fear of what would happen next. The one thing he didn’t want to happen above all else had happened, and now she was going to steer clear of him. He was sure of it.

Reluctantly, he let go of her hand as she went to his bathroom in search of what he needed. Now alone on his bed, he felt so small and so fragile. He had only known M/C for a very, very small faction of his very, very long existence, but somehow he couldn’t imagine going back to the way things were before he’d met her – especially as she continued to live in the House of Lamentation and develop her relationship with his brothers and the residents of both the Demon Lord’s Castle and Purgatory Hall. He knew she was kind and patient, but all his mind would let him see was her laying under some nondescript body, laughing about how pathetic the fifth-born was as she was pleasured by someone else, letting the world know how weak and inadequate he was. That he was an embarrassment to his title. He would have kept crying at that point, but he wasn’t sure his body even had that much water left. This was going to do such a number on his skin, he’d really need to step up his game with his skincare routine. Going through his plan of attack was enough to focus his mind and calm him down in the few minutes it took M/C to find a drinking glass and a washcloth in his enormous bathroom.

The human handed him the glass, waiting for him to drink half before she took it from his hands to place on his nightstand. She gently wiped his face with the damp cloth, knowing he’d feel better without the salt staining his skin. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so delicate with him, treating him like a valuable rather than something easily replaceable. The thought made his heart hurt, and brought with it a new wave of thoughts about how he wasn’t treated like that because he really wasn’t valuable. That his human was mistaken and she’d know it soon enough. She’d seen the first crack in his façade, it wouldn’t be too long now before she saw the rest.

As she went to get up to place the washcloth back in the bathroom, he made a little noise and grabbed for her hand.

“Asmo, I have to put this away. I’m not going anywhere, I swear, I just don’t want to leave something damp on your bedsheets”.

Reluctantly, he let go, and she went back to the bathroom as quickly as she could. Asmo had always been needy, this wasn’t news to anyone, but rarely had she seen him so desperate. Sometimes, when it was just the two of them, she could see peeks of the Asmodeus he wanted to hide from the world. She knew the fall had been traumatic for all of them, but she wouldn’t pretend to know the extent of that kind of trauma. It wasn’t something that was her place to draw attention to, because no matter how much she loved them she knew that just love wasn’t enough when it came to dealing with something of that gravity. They needed to share at their pace, if they ever felt comfortable sharing at all. All she could do was hope that this was some kind of turning point for him, and that he was ready to be open with her. Well, as open as was healthy. Baby steps, right?

The demon visibly relaxed when she came back towards him. Climbing over him, she laid down on ‘her’ side of the bed as Asmo called it jokingly (it wasn’t a joke but he was pleading the fifth on that question). She made grabby hands, and a relieved Asmodeus rolled into her side, resting his head on her chest and winding an arm around her waist. She set her chin on top of his head and wrapped her arms around him as best she could. She knew he needed to feel completely safe if he was going to talk about whatever had just happened.

The two laid together for a bit, the sounds of the house creaking and his brothers going about their business throughout the house breaking up the quiet in a way that made it palatable. Finally, Asmodeus spoke in a voice lacking all of his usual bravado and charm.

“So, I’m guessing you’d like to know what that was about”.

“If you feel comfortable sharing. I’m here for you, Asmo, you won’t scare me away. You just have to trust me”.

A beat of silence passed before the man took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was definitely going to be a painful conversation on his end.

“I… I’m not sure where to start. You know what they called me in the Celestial Realm, right?”

A nod.

“The Jewel of the Heavens. My face, my body, my charm, it was something our Father truly valued. I was beautiful, and that’s how I earned my keep. I was an ornament. I didn’t mind it much at the time – why would I care when it was nothing but a positive? Even Lucifer loved to show me off, his beautiful little brother. The pride of the Celestial Realm”.

M/C maintained eye contact, not daring to interrupt but wanting to show she was listening. She moved one hand up to stroke his hair, like he had done to her a million times before.

“When we fell… I don’t think there’s any kind of corollary in a human life. I went from an admired figure, praised for my beauty, to nothing when I made the decision to rebel with my brothers and Lilith. I don’t regret my decision, don’t get me wrong, Lilith was one of the most wonderful beings I’ve met in my life. I still miss her even now”.

The demon broke eye contact, trying to hide the quiver in his voice as he thought of his dead sister. The pain of that kind of loss never actually goes away and it’s harder some days.

“The point is, as a result of that decision, I lost everything that I knew about myself. By the end of the war, I was covered in big, ugly scars, stripped of my status as an angel and turned into a demon - a being that I had been told since I was created was inherently evil, wrong, and unlovable. It took me years before I could look at myself in a mirror again. I wasn’t Asmodeus, Jewel of the Heavens. I was Asmodeus, a vile, unlovable Thing. I had to feel something again, I had to be someone again. That’s how I ended up like this – I found a way I could feel loved again, even if just for a night”.

Or, he thought to himself, more often an hour in a nightclub bathroom.

He continued speaking, too scared to look up at his human’s eyes and see disgust or contempt in them.

“I will never be the me I was again. Never. Even thousands of years later that isn’t something I’ve fully come to terms with yet. I feel broken and wrong. On good days I really do mean what I say – that I’m beautiful, irresistible, absolutely perfect in every way”.

His voice took on a lilt and a small smile twisted the corner of his mouth as he remembered the feeling of power that comes with his moments of genuine confidence. However, as he began again, his voice sounded unsure again and so very small.

“On bad days, it’s all I can do to get out of bed. If I’m not beautiful, if I’m not wanted, what’s the point? What’s the point of any of this? Sometimes, when I make them chase me, when I let them put their hands on me, I feel like I’m wanted. Just for a little while, and that’s enough. What more could I ask for? After all, I’m not Mammon, can’t get too greedy”.

He tacked on a joke at the end, complete with a clearly forced laugh, trying to lighten the atmosphere that had settled over his room. He felt M/C press her lips to the crown of his head, still stroking his hair softly. She wasn’t quite sure how to respond, and she knew she had to be careful with the next thing out of her mouth.

“Asmodeus, you are worth so much. To so many people. To your brothers, to all of our friends, to me. I’m so proud of you for sharing that with me, it can’t have been easy”.

As she looked down, seeking his eyes, the demon saw only compassion in those eyes. It was a strange sight for him, and it made him feel something inside that he knew he had felt before, but he couldn’t quite remember when. It felt like there were butterflies in his stomach. There was some tension between them. Though it had an element of lust, it was moreso the unidentified emotion. He didn’t know what to do about that, so he decided to go with what he knew best- lust. Acting on muscle memory, he reached up to pull M/C’s head down to his. Surprised by Asmo pulling her down into a kiss when moments before he had been so vulnerable, M/C gasped and froze, allowing her pactmate to gain the upper hand.

The kiss was hungry and desperate from the start, definitely not how she imagined their first kiss beyond a casual peck on the lips, but it felt too good for her to dwell on that for long. With his tongue exploring her mouth he moved from his spot curled up on her side to get completely on top, pinning her in place. He held her wrists firmly above her head and his knees kept her thighs in place. His grip on her was somehow delicate and firm at the same time. The two let out little moans and pants between kisses, each losing themselves in the feeling of the other’s clothed body on their own. When Asmodeus separated their mouths, she followed his lips as far as she could, needing more. He shot her a look as though telling her to stay put, and she obeyed. His eyes were blown wide, glowing like a sunset. It was more out of habit than anything else since they knew his charm did nothing to her but it was undeniably beautiful.

The demon traced down her neck with messy kisses. If he weren’t a demon, she’d think he seemed like a man possessed. Between little nibbles and sucking, he panted out everything he was thinking, as if speaking it into her skin would make it so. When she concentrated, she could make out some of what he was saying over and over, almost like a prayer.

“I’ll be so good for you. I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t regret this. This will make you love me, I know it”.

She didn’t like to use her pact, but he was too lost in her body to listen if she asked nicely and his grip was too strong for her to break.

“Asmodeus, stop”.

He froze, a confused and hurt look on his face.

“Did I do something wrong?”

His eyes glowed brighter, as if subconsciously trying to fix whatever mistake he had made.

“Let go of me”. She tried to keep her voice even and maintain eye contact. She wanted to convey that she wasn’t upset, but he was clearly panicking inside his head.

The demon released her wrists, placing them on his own thighs. He tried to look away, ashamed, but the human gently directed his gaze back to her with a finger on his chin. She sat up against the pillows, trying to seem as serious as she could with disheveled clothing and red marks blooming all over her neck.

“Do you think that this is out of pity?” She desperately hoped that she had been reading into it too much, that he knew what she had been afraid to say. Her fears were confirmed when he cast his eyes downward and to the side, staring into space rather than meeting her eyes.

“Asmodeus, I can’t possibly imagine what you went through. You are so strong for going through that and still managing to be the funny, caring, genuine person that I know. What I do have some experience with is needing to feel wanted so badly that I’d let people touch me even when I wanted nothing more than for them to stop. I also know how absolutely garbage it feels when it’s over and they leave without so much as another word, I would just feel so used”. M/C’s eyes teared up as she remembered the feeling, but she blinked them away, willing herself to focus on the man in front of her.

“I never, ever want you to feel that way again. Not if I can help it. I love you, Asmodeus. Let me show you how much”.

A smile finally crossing his lips, albeit a small one, Asmo nodded. This time it was the human who brought their lips together, though their kiss was just as passionate as before. She caught the demon by surprise, rolling them over so she was the one pinning him to the bed. He looked up at M/C with pure adoration in his eyes, electrified by the love he saw reflected in hers and the lust he felt emanating from her soul. Finally confident that they were on the same page, M/C poured all of the affection she could into every touch, every kiss. She felt his hands travel up from their place on her waist to cup her breasts through her pajama shirt, moaning at his touch. Her sounds spurred him on, letting him regain some of his confidence. If there was one thing he knew he was an expert on, it was pleasure. He played with her nipples through her clothing and treasured every noise he was able to pull from her. Each gasp, every sigh, just emboldened him more. By the time he had stripped her of her top, he was fully in his element.

“Asmo”, she begged, “please, let me touch you too”.

She shifted her weight back onto her knees to make room for her demon to get out from under her. Readjusting so they laid side-by-side facing each other, they took the moment to stare into each other’s eyes. M/C’s smile was contagious, and Asmodeus couldn’t help but smile back. She hadn’t even touched him yet and she was already better than his fantasies. He hadn’t dared to let himself imagine her loving him, and he was going to treasure every second he got with her.

Her shaking hands made their way from his abdomen up to his chest, tweaking his nipples just to hear the noise he’d make before she got to work unbuttoning his pajama shirt. The more she teased him with brief touches, the more he squirmed for her. He was this close to ripping it off himself, and he really liked this pj set - he thought it brought out his eyes. Before he could finish deciding if it was worth popping the buttons off and maybe even a few seams, he felt the soft skin of the other’s hands finally trail up and down his torso. The demon made a noise almost like a purr, reminding M/C of his inhumanity in a thrilling way.

“Touch me”, it came out more as a breathy whisper than a demand, but she listened all the same.

Leaning over him to kiss down his neck and chest, the human used one hand to support her weight near his head and the other to trail down his body, stopping to cup his growing erection through his pants. An unexpectedly loud moan cut the air as she bit gently down on his nipple and began to stroke his cock.

“Shhh baby”, she said in a voice he’d never heard from her before, “You don’t want your brothers hearing and coming in here to stop us, do you?”. It was only then that he remembered he hadn’t locked his door earlier. From the grin spreading across her face as she looked towards the door, she knew it too. Asmo had never seen her look more mischievous in the whole time he’d known her and he was living for it. He was pretty sure he was witnessing the creation of a monster and he had no regrets, except that they hadn’t done this sooner.

Taking his silence for agreement, she got up only to kneel on the floor at the edge of the bed. She motioned for him to sit up and strip, which he did gladly. She took in the sight of his cock hungrily, eyes glazed over imagining what it would feel like in her pussy. He had seen that look many times and knew exactly what was going through her mind. Still, if he didn’t tease, would he even be Asmo?

With his bottoms thrown towards his laundry hamper, he spread his legs enticingly and grabbed the base of his cock. He stroked himself slowly, seeing M/C’s eyes fixate on a drop of precome on the head.

“Do you like what you see, my dear?” She could hear the grin in his voice. It was comforting to hear him sound like his usual confident self again.

“Very much”. Her hands began to rub along his thighs, appreciating the lean muscle she felt underneath her fingertips. “Can I taste you?”

“I thought you’d never ask, darling. Show me how you worship me in your daydreams”.

Her face lit up bright red. He couldn’t know, could he? He was just guessing, it was just dirty talk… right?

Swallowing the embarrassment she felt at the idea that Asmo knew the content of her fantasies, she began to rub soothing circles into his skin and kiss up and down his inner thighs.

“Oh sweetheart, I know you do more than that in those dreams of yours. How about you keep going, and you let me know if any of this rings a bell”. At this she began nipping at his skin every few kisses, soothing over any bites she made with her tongue.

“Let’s see, I think one of my favorites so far was in the library the other day. It was you, me, Satan, and Levi studying for the upcoming Seductive Speechcraft exam. About the time we were doing our individual reading, I recall you having some particularly interesting ideas. How did it start again?”

Her hand replaced his own stroking him, placing gentle kisses on his balls. She didn’t want this to end too soon and, honestly, she was curious if he actually did know what she had been thinking or if he just picked up on her getting horny that day and was trying to mess with her.

“Ah, yes”, his breath hitched as she dragged her tongue up the length of his dick, swirling around his head, only to kiss back down his shaft. “We were studying together, the same four of us that were actually there, but Levi and Satan got up to get a snack for us all. Once they left, I turned to you and told you how beautiful you looked”.

M/C’s hand sped up, and she leaned down to start sucking on the tip of his cock, keeping a steady pressure, and feeling proud at the flush in his cheeks. Slowly, she began to take him inch by inch in her mouth.

“I think after some flirting it took a rather raunchy turn, so let’s skip to the good part. I distinctly remember you dreaming of me sticking my hand down your panties and fingering you open, whispering sweet nothings to you the whole time”. M/C’s moan was muffled by the dick halfway down her throat, sending vibrations up Asmo’s cock. The sound of pleasure he made in response caused her to rub her thighs together, her own arousal obvious.

“What happened next? I think I lost my train of thought..”. M/C had gone down on him as far as she could, her nose nestled in the well-trimmed pubic hair on his pelvis. Asmodeus threaded his hand through her hair, pulling it up into a makeshift handle. She moaned, knowing what was about to happen. Asmo giggled, appreciating how eager she was for him to use her.

“That’s right”, he stared down at the woman with hooded eyes and his cocky grin, clearly back in his element, “you begged me to fuck your face”. Gripping her hair, he pulled back and thrust back into her mouth, hard. He let out a delighted gasp as her throat constricted around his dick.

“Darling, you feel so good, you’re such a good girl for me”, M/C’s eyes rolled back at the praise and as Asmo picked up the pace of his hips, she could do nothing but relax into his grip and let him use her. As his hips stuttered, she could feel him approaching his orgasm. Asmodeus made the most erotic sound the human had ever heard as he pulled her face flush to his body and released down her throat. M/C quickly swallowed, eager for more of him. He panted gently as he came down, relaxing his grip and transitioning to slowly smoothing her hair. The pair sat there for a moment to catch their breath.

“Holy shit”, M/C was the first to break the silence.

“Holy shit is right”, Asmodeus replied with a hungry grin. He reached a hand down to pull M/C up from her knees and into his lap. The two embraced, and Asmodeus felt himself hardening again at how he could taste himself on her tongue.

“Your turn now, sweetheart”, the demon cooed. Before M/C could say a word, the world spun and suddenly Asmodeus was laying on the bed and she found herself on her knees above his face. He licked his lips in anticipation before lowering her onto his face.

Maybe it was a demon thing, or maybe it was an Asmodeus thing, but the way his tongue moved on her clit and between her labia was like nothing she had experienced before. His mouth was hot, and wet, and almost electrifying as it managed to pinpoint her every weak spot. Every time she ground her hips into his face, embracing pleasure instead of running from it like she had with so many other men before him, he rewarded her with a moan, sending vibrations up into her body. The closer that M/C got to the edge, the harder she pulled on his soft curls, forgetting her own taunts about his brothers hearing and getting progressively louder. She came with a desperate cry of his name, squirting onto his face, which the demon excitedly lapped up with his tongue. M/C rolled off of his face and flopped bonelessly onto the bed. Asmodeus wasted no time climbing on top of her and bringing their lips together yet again, this time with a ferocity she had only imagined in her most erotic dreams. The feeling of his hard cock on the soft skin of her thigh made them both shiver in anticipation.

“Are you ready for me?” Asmodeus began, “I meant it before when I said I’d make it good for you. I want to make you cum harder than you’ve ever cum before”.

“Well,” M/C said breathlessly, “mission accomplished”.

“Oh honey,” the demon laughed and his eyes began to glow again, “you have no idea what I’m capable of”.

Let me know what you guys thought! I’m going to write a second part if there’s interest. Cross-posted to AO3 with the same username. Thanks for reading <3  

#Bee's writing #obey me smut #obey me asmodeus smut #obey me x reader #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #asmodeus smut #obey me fanfic

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Alternate Storyline (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 15k? idk - edit, nearly a full fucking year later, it’s 55.7k lmfaoo 

Warnings; swearing, death, torture, malnutrition, starvation & dehydration.

NOTES: This is the entire storyline of what would have been the story if I had liked where it was going. Good thing I didn’t go with this lol.

–

Disclaimer: You won’t be missing anything from chapters 1-3 because nothing really happens. The only thing that could be considered significant is Cecelia asking reader about her body and how she’s feeling. Cecelia asks this because she’s been pregnant three times before and although pregnancies differ for everyone, she was just taking a guess. Other than that, there’s nothing else you need to know.

-- Chapter Four --

It took a little longer to get out of bed this morning, like it had on the train. Finnick sat next to you the entire time while you explained over the nausea. You told him your theory that it’s because you’re stuffing yourself, because it’s logical. All he did was continue to brush your hair out of your face and suggested not to eat as much.

Which was the thing. You ate a light breakfast, stayed hydrated throughout the day. Then you ate healthy snacks while you were getting ready for the parade. And then once again, when you got into the apartment, you ate slowly and tried not to shovel it in too quickly.

Normally you eat as quickly as possible because you won’t fill up as quickly. If you’re taking your time, then of course you’re going to be full faster. And you didn’t even eat that much last night either. You thought it would give you a stomach ache right after eating, but there you were, the morning after.

When you had gotten up, you then noticed a pain in your achilles on your feet.

There’s blisters lining the back of your feet because of the heels that you were forced to wear during the tribute parade. Laurel knew what she was doing when she gave those massive shoes to you, and you have to give her props. Her revenge was silent, but lasting. You’ll have these for a little while.

Unfortunately for her, you know a couple of ways to keep them from getting worse. The first thing you did at brunch--since you and Finnick had gotten up a little later than expected--was complain to Elysia and Mags until they told you to shut up. Elysia told you she would find some healing cream for you to use. But in the meantime, you would just have to deal with it.

To not make them worse, you’ve decided against shoes today. You’ll still be wearing the training outfits that are provided. You had a choice when it came to a top, a sports bra, a tank top and a full-sleeved shirt. You decided for the sports bra, since it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you thought. Plus, the leggings they’ve provided are high-waisted on you. You’re not showing as much skin as you thought you would.

Finnick didn’t really have a chance when it came to what to wear. He slid on his sleeveless tank top and the leggings that he was provided. It was either sleeveless or full-sleeved. Leave it to your husband to show off all the muscle.

After you guys were dressed--opting for a shower after training--you and him said your goodbyes to Elysia and Mags. You two will see them at dinner, but not in-between. They’re sponsor hunting, they’re going to start tying down people.

As you and Finnick head down the hallway, hand-in-hand, he starts to head for the elevator. He knows the plan for today, this is just to throw off anyone that might be watching.

“Let’s take the stairs today,” you tell him, letting go of his hand as you bounce around in the hallway giddily, it’s all an act, “As a warm-up. We can’t just go in there without stretching first.”

“We’re going down the stairs, not up,” he says, but there’s a smile hinting at his face.

“All the same to me!” You smile at him.

You go to grab the door first, but Finnick isn’t having it. He practically pushes you out of the way so he can get there first. All so he can open the door for you, what a dork.

“Thank you.” you chirp, skipping into the stairwell, he follows you in, and even makes a point to pull the door shut entirely.

You guys go down about two flights of stairs, and you’re breathing a little heavier than normal. You have to slow, fanning your face, “I don’t know what’s the matter.”

“Come here,” Finnick holds your hand until you’re at a landing part. He presses the back of his hand to your forehead, and frowns, “You might have a cold.”

Even though you won’t be able to feel the heat yourself, you do the same as him, trying to feel just how hot you are, “That’s weird. I guess we’ll have to talk to Elysia about that too.”

“It’ll probably pass, just take it easy.” he tells you, and just like that, you guys go a little slower.

At the bottom of the staircase is Haymitch, staring up at you guys. You motion for him to go up the couple of steps to where you are. This is mainly to get away from the door, there’s two peacekeepers out there. If they hear anything, they are going to report it. The smart thing to do is get away from the door, and stay quiet.

“I came down the stairs.” he tells you two, “They don’t know I’m in here.”

“Same as us.” Finnick nods.

You lean up against the wall, fanning your face since the humidity in the stairwell isn’t the best. It’s making you feel like you’re overheating, like heat stroke, which you’ve had before in the summertime from being on the boats for too long. The only problem is, you haven’t gone outside since yesterday during the parade. These next few days, you’re going to be inside.

Almost as if Finnick knows that something is up, he wraps an arm around your waist. If you fall, he’ll keep you from collapsing against the cement. Although, being pressed up against his body is making all of this worse. You don’t complain though, you’d rather have his arm around you than not. It’s a safety net.

“Katniss is stand-offish.” Haymitch begins, and you can’t help but snort. Neither of you interrupt him though, “She’s difficult to work with at first, but the more you talk to her, the easier she’ll be.”

“But why?” you ask, “We don’t mind being in an alliance with her, but what’s your motive of making one for her?”

He lowers his voice considerably, “A rebellion.”

You and Finnick share a look, and just right there is enough communication. He gives you a look of ‘this is happening’ and you tell him ‘our time is now’. Just in that one little look, an understanding has passed through you two.

“We’re in.” Finnick says for the both of you, shocking Haymitch, “What will it take?”

Haymitch is shocked, “That’s… it?”

You tilt your head, “The districts are going nuts right now. Just at the mention of it, four goes wild. Now’s the time to do it. What do we have to do to help?”

And just like that, Haymitch launches into his explanation. Starting from the beginning, and how the berries had angered Snow. Katniss and Peeta’s families were on the line, and so they were trying to do everything they could to quiet down the districts. Including a marriage to appease the Capitol to prove that the action was done out of love, rather than resistance.

Haymitch tells you that there’s talk about it everywhere, and people are looking at her. He believes that she can be the face of it. She can get people moving behind her, but a few things need to happen first.

She needs to stay alive. An alliance acts in her best interest, but since she’s stubborn, she won’t be making it by herself. She might suggest a few people that she might like, but other than that, it’s one thing or nothing. The worst thing about it, is that Katniss can’t know that any of this is going on.

Haymitch is supposed to be ‘saving’ Peeta, and not her. Since she was ‘saved’ the first time around, she wants it to be Peeta’s turn. But Peeta doesn’t like that, and he’s already acting with Haymitch to make it look like they’re working in Katniss’s favor. It’s unnecessarily complicated, and you’re not too interested in that.

To boil it down, you and Finnick will spread the word a little bit, bring in people that might find this to be a good idea. Keep it from the careers because they can be difficult. They love the Capitol because they spoil them. So, telling them would result in the destruction of the plan.

Katniss can’t know that any of this is happening. You have to pretend that none of this is happening. Haymitch will give Finnick a bracelet as solidarity with you guys, since you’re going to be the main part of the protection. You’ll show it to Katniss inside of the arena, and just like that, hopefully she’ll put the puzzle pieces together and allow you to help her.

The last part of the plan is keep her alive long enough for them to take her out and take them to District Thirteen. You called Haymitch a lunatic, because everyone knows what happened to thirteen for being rebellious. If they’re still thriving, then you guys would have seen them by now. But all he had to do was tell you that they have a gamemaker in on it already.

That was convincing enough. If a gamemaker is in on this, the plan will be much easier. They have more insight than you guys do. Haymitch can be unreliable, but you asked if he’s sure that Plutarch is trustable, and he told you yes.

After that, you split. Haymitch went back upstairs to get his tributes, and you and Finnick left the stairwell together, hand in hand. You made a comment while passing the peacekeepers about being tired, telling Finnick that you don’t feel that well and you hope that it passes.

It wasn’t until you entered the actual building, when you started to feel better. The entire building has AC like you wouldn’t believe. It was only a couple of minutes before you completely forgot about it entirely.

You and Finnick spend a moment, finding people and choosing wisely. Unsurprisingly, he wants to have a chat with Johanna, and you decide that you might as well see Cecelia again. Her and Woof are sticking together it seems, they’re sitting around the bug station.

That’s a good thing to touch up on. The dangers that might be hiding around inside of the arena. There’s so many possibilities and dangers that the arena holds, that it just makes you overwhelmed.

First, it’s fish, and the type that live in the fresh water, or salt water. Next are the types of leaves, is it ivy or not. The trees, do they burn smoke easily? The berries and the chance that they’re poisonous. And this is all to be paired with not having the food, or the iodine to make the water safe. Not being able to skin rabbits and cook it properly so you don’t get sick.

Finnick taught you CPR one of the times on the train while you were teaching tributes before all of this--of course. That goes right along with first aid. You’ve gone as far as to recreate the creams to show the tributes which ones mean which. What’s healing, what’s supposed to be used on your weapon, and so on. You teach them how to stitch, and create stents and the list goes on.

It’s so simple to overlook something like bugs. When you’re so worried about literally everything else.

Cecelia offers you a big smile when you sit beside her. Watching as she and Woof easily identify the types of bugs. You keep the conversation light, and then you begin to enter in the keywords.

“How would you feel about an alliance?” you ask, she looks up, “This can go for you and Woof.”

Woof smiles, but Cecelia looks a little confused, probably wondering what’s bringing this all on. You almost can’t believe that she thinks that you wouldn’t invite her into an alliance with you and Finnick. She’s practically your best friend, for her not to be in it would be stupid.

“Sure, is Finnick fine with this?” she asks, going back to the bug game.

“Actually, a few of us are okay with this.” it’s a hint that there’s more than one of you, “it’s sort of a protection plan.”

Cecelia nods, thinking about this. You hope that she’s smart enough to get this. She’s raised three kids that have spoken in cryptic ways when they’re toddlers. It can’t be that hard to decipher the double meaning in words. You had to go through this all with Alyssum.

“Behalf?” she asks subtly.

“Katniss.” you tell her, “Girl on fire, it’s quite a brand isn’t it? It’s almost like she’s trying to set the Capitol ablaze.”

Her eyes flicker to yours the same time that Woof does, “Is that so?”

“You don’t think so?” you’re hoping that isn’t a no.

You watch as Cecelia’s face slowly holds a smile, “I do think so. Count me in.”

“Me too.” Woof tells you.

“More info to come.” you mouth quietly, and they nod slightly, “Nice seeing you guys again.”

Again, before you leave, Cecelia reaches out, taking your wrist, “How are you feeling?”

Your frown is quick, “Are you on about the same thing from yesterday?”

“It was a simple question.” She dodges yours.

There’s no reason to lie, “I think I’m coming down with a cold or something. I’m more tired than usual, and I feel nauseous when I first get up.”

Her face twists for a second, you can’t catch what it’s about at all, because it’s quick. She’s mastered a poker face from having kids for so long, her face smoothes over and it makes you doubt that it had even happened.

“Maybe you should see one of the medical staff,” she suggests, “They’ll give you something so you’re not sick when you’re in the arena. Better to get it when it first starts, right?”

You nod slightly, and she releases your arm, “I’ll see them after training or something.”

“Yeah, take care.”

Normally, when you get a cold, they’re not even that bad. Your body is hot but you feel cold. You just spend the time in bed, but you know you can’t do that exactly. The people around you will know something is up, and it’ll ruin how they see you. Not so scary when you’re dying in bed from a cold.

Deciding that visiting two people is enough, you go ahead and head over to one of the knife throwing stations. As you get closer, you can see that they have projections now, it’s not just dummies anymore. They move, and get closer, and throw virtual weapons.

“Perfect.” you laugh, stepping up to one of the stations.

At the programming, you go ahead and make it the hardest possible. You select your weapon, keeping it at knives. It’ll be easier to throw than spears. Spears, you have to get your hands right on the hilt before throwing it. As for knives, you’re literally picking them up and throwing them.

You go ahead and pick up a few, feeling them in your hand. As a test run, the program automatically gives you one to start with. You have to find your footing first. You’re not in shoes, you’re barefoot. It’ll be easier for you to slip, since your feet aren’t gripped like the bottom of a shoe is.

However, you’ve been training for months for this exact moment. It might have been in shoes, but you haven’t fallen in a long ass time. You’ve always caught yourself, gradually becoming less clumsy as time goes along.

You throw the knife, being careful as to watch how it flies through the air. It hits the hologram in the middle of the chest, and then the blocks crumble. Just like that, the game has started, and they’re coming at you. For a moment, you’re overwhelmed, because you need to find a pattern for it.

Then, it all comes to you. They come in twos to three’s. You can hit them the first time if you aim for the chest and above. You’re typically hitting them in the head, getting them down the first time around. But on the off chance of missing it the first time, you always have an extra fourth knife in your hand.

You take them on at one at a time. The closest one is always the easiest, you get them out almost immediately. The second one is a little harder, you lean forward a bit more for this one. And the final one, is the one you’re needing the fourth knife for. They’re farther back on purpose, and they don’t come any closer past the half-way mark.

You throw with more force, allowing your body to move forward with the momentum that you build. The knives rest between your left hand’s fingers. You’ll grab the handle, flip for the blade, and then chuck.

The game is over before you realize it. There’s no more people coming at you, it’s just the playing field in front of you.

This is when you’re able to see that you’ve successfully hit the wall, that’s over twenty-five feet away from you, hard enough to get the entire knife into the wall. The ones that weren’t tough enough to make it through, dented.

“Damn.” Finnick’s voice is smooth, he whistles slightly, “That was good.”

You turn slowly, because you’re feeling lightheaded. You can suddenly feel the sweat pouring out of your body, feel it running down your face. You place your hand down to steady yourself, but it does nothing, it’s almost like an anchor.

Your body feels like it’s been set on fire.

Finnick jumps immediately, catching you before you can hit the floor. You have a tight grip on his shirt as he pulls you closer, up against his body, “Breathe, honey.”

You try to match your breathing with his. You’re so tired. You’ve never felt this tired and useless before. You’ve never been so incapable of doing this that requires physical activity. You’re frustrated and angry and embarrassed.

Finnick fans your face, occasionally feeling your forehead. There’s a pair of footsteps though, coming up to you guys. As soon as they bend down, you’re able to see that it’s Johanna, “Everyone’s staring.”

“I can imagine.” you tell her, trying to take deep breaths, “I don’t know what’s happening.”

“It’s okay.” Finnick tells you, “Can you stand?”

You nod, “I just need another minute, I’m sorry.”

Finnick cups your face with his free hand, since the other is cradling you against his body to keep you from slipping. Your grip on his shirt has loosened, since he does have you, “Don’t apologize.”

It’s another minute of Johanna squatting by you guys, talking to you as if everything is normal before you can get up again. She gets you up, giving Finnick a chance to stand. As soon as he’s on his feet, he’s holding onto you.

“You should go back to the apartment.” he tells you, “Rest.”

“Finn, these are the symptoms of heatstroke.” you shake your head at him, “The heat, the dizziness, me nearly passing out.”

“It can’t be that.”

“It can’t be a cold either.” you two have stopped in the middle of the place, staring at each other, “I’m not coughing or sneezing. My throat doesn’t hurt at all.”

He nods slowly, “We can talk to Mags.”

“She’s out sponsor hunting. My best bet is here. I’ll take it easy, tie knots or whatever. I just can’t leave.”

Finnick doesn’t like this. He clearly wants you to just rest for the rest of the day. It’s probably scary for him, to see you weak so suddenly…

Oh.

You look at Finnick to see the desperation, “Finn, it’s not Typhoid.”

“It’s the symptoms.” he tells you, and you can see the tears in his eyes at the mention of the sickness, “you have the symptoms of it.”

“The food and water here aren’t infected.” you tell him, shaking your head, “I can’t be sick like that again. Everything back home was fine too.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Finn, if the water was infected, then we would have known a long time ago.” You say, and he takes a moment to think about it, “I just need something relaxing to do for a while. I promise not to put myself out like that again. I didn’t even know I was tired until I looked at you.”

Finnick slowly holds into you again, “Relaxing? How about some fish hook making?”

You smile a little bit, “I can do that. The ones I make are pretty cool.”

“We’ll see about that.” It’s clearly a challenge.

You and Finnick sit at the station for a while. The both of you stand side-by-side, twisting the lines in and out. You’ll occasionally add a bit of decoration.

Finnick never stops glancing at you periodically. Even when Katniss and Peeta have entered the building, his eyes are on you. He’s paying attention to you, watching to see if there’s any change of expression. Maybe pain, or if you pale suddenly.

You glance up briefly from what you’re doing to see that Katniss is heading your way from Beetee and Wiress.

“Fire.” you mutter, going back to what you were doing. This makes him look up though.

“Katniss, welcome.” Finnick laughs.

“Don’t be an ass.” you tell him, taking a step back from your hook. Finnick does the same, and you compare the two, “Yeah, no I definitely won.”

Finnick’s face twists, “Bullshit.”

“Look at it!” you laugh, motioning to what’s in front of you, “Clearly I have better taste. Don’t you think, Katniss?”

She’s a little surprised that you’ve drug her into this conversation, but it’s all in good fun. You’re hoping that Haymitch wasn’t too right on the whole uncomfortable thing. She’s got the whole country on lock with how she’s doing things. She acts awkward, but there’s more to her.

Katniss moves around the table to stand behind you and Finnick. He crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow at your new judge. While you on the other hand, are grinning like an idiot at Finnick. You know who she’s going to pick.

“Sorry, Finnick.” Katniss says, “Hers is pretty good.”

“Pretty good?” you ask, “You’re telling me you can do any better?”

Her face flushes briefly, “Well--no…”

You bump her shoulder slightly, “Just messing with you.”

She smiles, and looks up to where the careers are. You can’t help but to follow, expecting them to still be throwing knives and practicing together. Earlier, Enobaria was actually fighting with a peacekeeper that’s made for dueling with. Now, she stands with the rest.

Almost as if this is what they were waiting for, you watch as Cashmere dramatically collapses, Gloss holding her.

“Fuck you.” you hiss, face scrunching up as you look back down to the hook. You’re shaking your head, braiding some twine. You manage to move your finger the wrong way, pricking your finger on the hook.

“Hey--” Finnick takes your hands in his, still distracted by what’s going on.

You look up again to see that they’re still playing it out.

You’re not going to let this happen. Fuck all of them for thinking that they’ll get away with this.

You yank your hands from Finnicks, clenching your teeth and narrowing your eyes at the four. As you walk over, they seem to notice your presence. Almost robotically, you tilt your head, and then crouch down to her level, getting in her face.

“Does this make you feel special?” you ask her, “Are you so mad that your spotlight has been taken away, that you’re getting down on dog shit levels?”

Her mouth opens like she’s going to say something, but you’re tired of it. Tired of everything that you’ve been through these last few years. You don’t want to be here, you don’t want to be mocked. You don’t want to feel weak. They can’t take away your confidence, pride and dignity.

“You think you’re hot shit because you’re a fucking career,” you raise your voice a little bit, might as well let the gamemakers up in the box hear this. Might as well let everyone in here hear, this, “But here’s the stone cold fucking truth, I am too. Finnick is a career. Katniss is a career. Peeta is a career. Johanna is a career. Wiress and Beetee, Cecelia and Woof, Seeder and Chaff. Everyone here is a fucking career because we won our games.”

You stand up now, “You’re thirty fucking years old, you’re too old to be mocking people like a fucking toddler. Pick yourself off of the floor and realize what a bitch you look like for doing this in the first place. No one in here is impressed, except your little fucking circle.

“This won’t raise your training numbers,” you motion to the gamemakers, “You just showed them how childish you are. And you know what? Children don’t win the games. And to that I say, good riddance to you and your book club.”

There’s silence, and then Cashmere hisses, “You’re going to be the first--”

You laugh, “Save it for someone that cares, princess.”

And then you look to Brutus and Enobaria, “You two are perfectly capable of winning the games on your own, and yet here you are, hanging around the two people that will bring you down. Genius move on your part.”

“We work well together.” Enobaria defends.

“We’ll see about that in the arena.” and you look to Cashmere and Gloss for a final time, they’re sitting apart now, like two scolded children, “Grow up, seriously.”

You take your time on the walk back to Finnick and Katniss. You’re happy that no one had made a move to back you up. You confront people on your own, you don’t need any shadows.

“Sorry about that.” you say to Katniss, “They’ve got a shooting range off over there.”

With the small motion, she looks over, “Oh.”

“I’ve had enough of this place for today.” you’re mostly telling Finnick, “We should probably find some medical staff. Get me checked out and everything.”

“You sure?” Katniss asks, “You taught me how to make fish hooks, I could teach you how to shoot?”

You smile a little bit, “I’ll stick to throwing things. Tell Peeta I say hi.”

After Finnick says his goodbyes, you wave to Cecelia and Woof. Then to Johanna, because she’s your friend, unlike what you were thinking only yesterday. You might have only talked to her in passing, but you, her and Finnick all click together pretty well.

It’s like what you and Finnick used to be. Barely talking to each other, but now you’re married to him. The chances of Johanna being your best friend might be more likely than you thought.

--

After Finnick had taken you over to the first aid area, which is basically a doctors office, you made him go back to the training area. Even if it’s almost done for today, you’d rather him get his last few hours in. After he talked it through with the doctor, making sure that you wouldn’t be allowed to go back to the apartment without assistance, he finally agreed to go back.

He gave you a kiss before he left, and since then, you’ve been sitting on the leather couch they have. Eventually, you kept complaining about how hot you were, so they went ahead and got you water, as well as a folder to fan yourself in the meantime. They told you it shouldn’t be too long before they’re getting results back.

You trust them, they know what they’re doing, they have these jobs after all. And you’re surprised that they don’t look as garish as everyone else in the Capitol. For a little while, while the results first started pending, and for the part they didn’t need to supervise, someone came over to you and talked for a little while.

They told you that you’re brave for volunteering for Annie. And then they proceeded to compliment you and your fighting style. They say that they’re definitely going to sponsor you, and ask if you can pass Mags their information. You’re not stupid, so you clearly accept, and spend most of the time with them, listening about how they loved your games.

They clearly think all of this is flattering to you. But it’s all the same in your eyes. They’re picking and choosing favorites just like how you said they would. You might love to have them around from time to time for their company. The reality is though, you can only tolerate a couple of Capitol people at the moment.

The first is your prep team as a whole. Cleo, Leo and Beth, and Laurel. And the only other person is Elysia. You wouldn’t count Finnick as being someone from the Capitol, except he doesn’t stay here anymore. Here’s been here every year for a few weeks, the same as you have. And as far as you know, he’s never had the desire to come back since he was finally able to call District Four is home.

He does express to you that the secrets around District Four aren’t the same as here. You know this too, he’s told you everything he learned while he was being passed around. Finnick’s right about it not being the same thing, but he needs to come to realize that four isn’t like that. You have each other’s backs.

At some point during the whole gushing about your games bit, they finally had to go back into the back room. You acted as if you were disappointed for politeness’ sake. But the silence was finally enough to ease your headache and allow you to clear your head from all the thoughts suddenly screaming at you at once.

You’re mostly just thinking about back home and how your family must be taking all of this. You’re hoping that they’re taking it easy, and sticking together as usual. You hope they found the letter that you wrote to them that was sitting on your dresser with their names on it.

It was instructions on what to do when it comes to certain circumstances. You told them that Annie has their backs, and she’ll make sure to do her best when it comes to things. You told them that she might seem unreliable, but Annie is their best friend as much as Caspian’s family is.

The most important thing in that letter that you wrote, was the signs that you might not make it out. Of course, you want them to keep their chins up and have as much hope as they can spare for Alyssum’s sake. But you warn them that the second that your death is confirmed, they need to get the shit out of the house as fast as possible.

The last thing that they would need, is for them to all be in shock about your deaths, and for them to completely overlook everything in the house. It won’t be until it’s taken away from them, when they’ll realize that they’re just lost precious items. Your old clothes, jewelry, souvenirs, whatever.

You’ve thought ahead, you’ve taken the precautions of everything, and you’re just hoping that they fall through on it all.

You wish that you could call and talk to them, but it’s restricted since you’re a tribute and not a mentor anymore. The chances of getting away with it isn’t so slim, but you’ll pay for it later inside of the arena. Or maybe your family back home will pay for it. Because you won’t even realize that it had happened, and to them it would be a nice welcome home gift.

For you to go home to no family.

You wouldn’t put it past the Capitol.

However, if you ever go home to your family gone, you’re raising hell, and you’re raising it well. They would have every single idea on what fucking hit them because you would make it no goddamn secret.

You would tear through their people like they’re water.

A pair of feet makes you look up from where you’re staring at the white brick wall. When you look over, you see that it’s the doctor that had done the urine test. She holds an ipad in her hands now, looking down at the screen as she scrolls through it.

You know what it is, because it’s similar to the device they use in the betting room, the one you use to scroll through the gifts you can send down to the tributes. Those ones are much bigger than the one she’s holding right now. The one she’s holding is portable, and it looks lighter than the bigger one.

“Well, the results have come back,” she tells you, you figured as much. She pulls up a chair, sitting down and crossing her legs. The doctor looks more grief-stricken, there’s something wrong, “I would suggest asking us to call Finnick here.”

It’s bad news, but you figured as much. With the symptoms you have, it could hinder your performance inside of the arena. Slow you down, make you take more precautions. If Finnick knows what’s wrong with you, it’ll just be a gateway to say ‘you should have stayed at home. Had you done that, then we wouldn't be in this situation’ and honestly, you don’t need that from him. You know what you can and can’t handle.

You’ll take the news by yourself, and depending on how bad it is, you’ll tell Finnick. You’re not opposed to holding secrets from him. He might see that you’re hiding something, since that’s what he used to do. Pick people apart for secrets, but you can hold your ground.

“I don’t think I will.” you tell her.

She nods slightly, looking down at the ipad, “Okay, that’s fine. Before I can tell you though, I have to give you a disclaimer.”

The doctor sits up a little taller in her seat, “The information I’m about to tell you is completely confidential. I’ve reported it to the people that are required to know. This includes President Snow, the gamemakers and the people that overlook the rules. I’ve already gotten back the confirmation that this will not change how the games go, and they will keep on track without any delay.”

You hate to say it, but it’s scary news then. If she had to report it to the gamemakers and all of them, then that means you’ve found a loophole in the system, but it wasn’t enough for them to cancel it.

“This information will not go past anyone else. You are obviously allowed to tell whoever you want, however. But I’d recommend not going around and telling everyone.” she pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath as if this information also hurts her, “Normally, this would be good news. But in your circumstances…” she trails off, not finishing her thought as she flips the tablet around so it’s facing you.

It takes you a moment to search the screen, not sure what you’re looking for at first. She doesn’t say anything, letting you figure it out. Your eyes go from the top of the app, down to the bottom, reading all the negatives for all the tests that had been made. You’re about to tell her that you don’t see anything, until you reach the bottom.

You can feel the blood run from your face almost immediately. Your body goes rigid, but your mouth opens anyway. You exhale once, and that’s enough confirmation for her to know that you’ve seen it.

“Congratulations, Missus Odair.” she turns the tablet back to herself, her face is as grave as your entire face feels. You wonder if your heart's still beating and when you’ll finally collapse from a heart attack. It feels like you’re weightless, when her next words leave her lips, “You’re pregnant.”

-- Chapter Five --

Had you waited a couple of days before stuffing yourself full and making yourself gain weight, it would be much easier to see the baby bump. It’s very, very small, but it’s there. You’re only at three months, which is hell of a long time to go without noticing your period, but you had completely overlooked it.

You were so stressed out about the reaping coming up, it slipped your mind. And it’s not like you follow it strictly either, it comes when it comes, and it goes when it goes. You’re really just here for the ride of it. But you suppose in this situation, it would have been very helpful to know ahead of time.

You’re not stupid. If you had known that you were pregnant before the reaping, you wouldn’t have volunteered at all. And you might have even gone around and begged the other guys in the district to volunteer for Finnick if it came to it. You know you said earlier that you wouldn’t have done it for a goddamn thing, but pregnancy is different.

This is yours and Finnick’s child you’re talking about. Finnick would want to be there, and you would too. It would be a selfish thing, because you’re a selfish person. You would have done anything to get them to volunteer over Finnick in this case.

You’re sure Mags would have volunteered over you in a heartbeat. Not like she wouldn’t have originally, she sees you, Annie and Finnick as her kids. And she would be doing it in good conscious too, since she’s also saving the baby’s life. No doubt, later on the Capitol would try to paint her as some hero for it, but deep down she’d be appalled still.

The rule stands. A pregnant tribute still has to play in the games. Which means, if you had been pulled, extremely pregnant and all, they would have had to take you, unless someone were to volunteer over you. In your opinion it’s sickening. Imagine having to give birth to your child early, inside of the hunger games with absolutely no medical help.

It’s a gruesome picture, but a pregnant lady laying dead on the ground because some other heartless tribute had killed her. And the Capitol would let it happen because to them, it’s good entertainment. There’s nothing you absolutely fucking hate more than the Capitol.

Anyway, as the doctor said, it was all confidential. She wasn’t required to tell Finnick, it was just the people that would be in control of the games and what would happen in them. And since this information had gotten to Snow, he took it upon himself to do something--as some people would call--generous.

Fortunately for you, they do have medication that can lower the side effects of the pregnancy. No more heat flashes, less intense fatigue and dizziness. No more waking up in the morning feeling like you’re going to puke out everything you ate the night before.

First, you’re getting the meds free of charge for your entire duration inside of the Capitol. For five days, you’ll be able to train and act as normally as possible. No one will know what has happened unless you feel like telling them.

Second, you won’t be provided the meds inside of the arena--unless you have a couple of sponsors that are willing to send them down. This path would require you not only telling Elysia and Mags that you’re pregnant, but also a couple of rich Capitol sponsors that have connections, which means they’ll blab their mouths to everyone about how you’re pregnant.

And that is no way to get word back home that you’re pregnant. Because you can’t call your family at all, the only person that can is Mags. Once again, you’re not going to tell her this, because you’re going to get your ass whooped. You may be a grown adult, and she may be elderly, but she’s not past putting you in your place for a second time.

Note that the first time was for volunteering. She might not speak, but her writing is different when she’s angry, and it conveys the message pretty well. She’s not happy that you jeopardized your future, and if she knows that you’re pregnant… she might just kill you before you even make it into the arena.

Back to the original topic, this is when Snow’s generosity comes in. He’s decided to give you a head start, and on the day that the games start, he’s allowing you to take the final bit of pills. You won’t be able to smuggle any into the arena, but at least you’ll be able to move freely without pain during the most important day of the games.

You made sure the doctor sent your thanks to him, and after that it’s been thinking and radio silence since.

You’re stuck on the dilemma of telling Finnick or not. You know that he should know so that when you are inside of the arena, he can keep a better eye on you. But on the other hand, you don’t need him worrying. The entire reason why you volunteered in the first place was so you’d be able to protect him whenever you’d need to.

It would defeat the entire purpose if he’s holding onto you, and protecting you, rather than working together. Plus, you’re not too thrilled about the conversation that’ll happen after the news. He’s clearly going to rub it in your face that you should have just stayed home, and what will happen if you are killed inside of the arena now.

You’re not ready for that conversation, because you weren’t expecting that conversation. It wasn’t something you’d taken into consideration. A few months ago, you weren’t feeling the same things you’re feeling now. The doctor told you it was from the stress, and you can’t argue that.

For now, you’ll continue eating as much as possible, and if Finnick comments on the weight--which you don’t think he will--then you’ll tell him it’s because of the food that you’re eating. It’s logical, he knows that it is, so he’ll likely brush it off after that.

You take another look in the bathroom mirror, lifting up the tank top to take a look at your stomach again. It’s a slight different, but it’s there. At first glance, you would easily look over it as if it’s not there. You’re lucky that you’re only three months. If it were any more, then it would be obvious.

You drop the fabric and pull your hair out of your face. When you’re satisfied with the look, you go ahead and leave the bathroom. You told Finnick to go ahead of you almost an hour ago because there were some things you needed to take care of. When in reality you didn’t want him looking at the medication that you’re taking.

Finnick has scrolled through the medication pages and their uses in the betting room plenty of times. By now, he’s got to have the names as memorized as you do. Even if some of them are mixtures, there’s no way that he hasn’t got them down by now. Or at least he’d recognize the name and drive himself crazy, trying to figure out the use for it again.

You leave the apartment barefoot again. You want to opt for the staircase, because it feels good to be able to move around without feeling dizzy again. But you see no harm in the elevator. You punch the button and wait patiently for the doors to open.

It’s at least a minute before the doors emmit the noise, and they open. As soon as they crack open, you can see that it’s not empty, but it’s not full either. You’re happy to see that it’s the District Twelve crew all together. Including their district rep.

“Mind if I step in?” you ask.

“Go ahead.” Peeta motions, you move in, and take a look at the buttons to make sure they’ve got the training center button pressed.

After that, you sort of just press yourself against the bars, crossing your arms. You look over the rep, trying to recall a name, but when you can’t, you shrug it off slightly. She’s not really any of your business anyway.

“You’re missing shoes.” she tells you.

“I realize.” you smile, “I’ve got blisters on the back of my feet because I pissed off my prep team, casual me.”

Haymitch laughs first, “Yeah? What’d you say to Laurel?”

“Some comments about her age and complexion, all in good fun of course.”

The doors open up again, and Haymitch lets you know that this is their stop. Him and the district rep step off, and suddenly you’re left alone in the elevator with Katniss and Peeta.

“No Finnick?” Peeta asks.

You raise your eyebrows, you haven’t actually held a conversation with Peeta yet. You know that Haymitch said that Katniss was difficult, and not necessarily Peeta. But you wonder how that can be if they’re together. Sometimes opposites attract. Most of the time, you stick to someone close to you in personality though.

If you can’t beat them, join them.

“He’s training already,” you tilt your head a little bit, “Told him to go ahead of me. I had a few things to take care of.”

“Feeling better?” Katniss asks.

You nod, “I should be in tip top shape by the time the games do roll around.”

It’s a lie, but they can’t call you on it. They have no clue what’s going on behind closed doors. It could be your downfall, or it could be the exact blockage you need to make sure you’re not vulnerable.

The elevator doors open, and you’re the first to step out.

“I heard you wouldn’t mind being an ally…?” you’re not sure if it’s a statement or a question.

Since you’re in front, you glance at them over your shoulder slightly to see their faces to decipher it better. Peeta is obviously curious, he wants to know why probably. As for Katniss, she’s interested but she’s trying not to show it. She can hide her emotions well, but not good enough.

You shrug your shoulders slightly, “I’m sure there’s a lot of people that wouldn’t mind being partnered with you two.”

“Thanks to Katniss.”

This part you haven’t heard, you slow down somewhat, which is an indication for Peeta to keep going. Katniss doesn't look too thrilled that he’s pursuing this conversation. She doesn’t like to be shown off it seems. Let people know of the skills she has, which is smart.

Except for the fact that everyone here has shown off their skills one time or another. Everyone has their part for what they’re known for. Especially with Beetee, Johanna, Katniss and Peeta. As well as yourself, Finnick, Enobaria and you’re sure there’s more. Some people are known for less important reasons, like Gloss and Cashmere for being back-to-back sibling wins.

“Everyone had watched her shoot yesterday. Even the careers.” Peeta sounds somewhat ecstatic.

You shake your head, “Don’t get too excited about the careers. They backstab, it’s who they are.”

The doors to the training center open. It turns a few heads, one of them mainly being Finnick. He’s standing over by the throwing area, holding a spear in his hand. Then, he turns back to the hologram and throws the final one.

After that, he hops off and starts his way over to you, “Honey!”

You laugh, “Hey, Finn.”

You hug him, and he spins you around slightly. He kisses your forehead, and then pulls away, looking at Katniss and Peeta, “Ah, got some private time in?”

The punch to his arm is hard. Finnick laughs, rubbing the spot, “Ran into them in the elevator, is all.”

“Same thing.” He tells you, again looking at Katniss and Peeta, “We’ll see you two later.”

“Yeah.” Peeta waves, you take Finnick’s arm and pull him away, towards the holo stations.

He sees your eagerness, but he’s not forgiving of what has happened yesterday, “I take it you’re feeling better?”

“The medicine that I have been prescribed has gotten rid of everything so far.” You smile, “I thought it wouldn’t hurt to train some.”

“That’s not taking it easy.”

You look at Finnick, “I know you weren’t there, but the doctor said nothing about that.”

He squints at you, trying to read your face easier. For this, you give him a bigger, brighter smile as you skip up to the platform. If he can’t get a look at your face, he can’t find that you’re hiding something.

“What else did the doctor say?” He asks, waiting at the bottom of the steps.

You program the game, setting it to two people. And since you’re a little too eager to throw spears again, you select that too. The difficulty is pretty easy since you’re also unsure on how they’ll be able to go through the air.

“Well, since I am ill, they had to report it to Snow and the gamemakers.”

There’s an audible inhale from him, and you look over to see his eyes widened. He’s clenching his teeth. The look on his face is a mix of things. Confusion, betrayal, anger, shock and surprise.

“Why?”

You shrug slightly, “It could affect how the games go. I didn’t have a say in it or anything, she reported it before I even knew. And there’s more to it, too.”

He moves forward, coming up the steps when you hold out a trident for him to hold. Finnick weighs it in his hand, eyes still locked on your face until you give the last bit of information.

“Snow has decided to be generous and he’s going to—“ you drop your voice a little quieter, “—allow me to take the medication the morning that the games start. Laugh like I said something funny.”

He does this easily, the intensity that was there before is gone, and he looks carefree. When Finnick turns his back to everyone else though, he doesn’t look like that anymore. You wish you could have your old Finnick back. Before he was worrying over you.

You wish you could go back to yesterday, when you didn't know this information. Convinced yourself not to see the doctor, and just take it easy instead. No one would be involved.

You’re always at a disadvantage. And this is especially the case, since whatever the gamemakers decide to do, you have to take. You have no word on what will happen.

“That’s not good, (Y/n).” He says, he looks grave.

“I know.” You tell him, starting the holo game, “Believe me, I’m the one that’s paying the most.”

“Maybe after a couple of days, you can just stop taking the meds. I feel like they aren’t… good for you.”

The words blurt from your mouth without a single thought put to them, “I can’t.”

Finnick pauses for a moment, missing his turn to throw. You do it for him, quickly grabbing another to get yours too. After this, he picks up his pattern again, “Why not?”

You laugh slightly, “The doctor told me not to.”

“Since when do you listen to the Capitol?” he asks.

Maybe you are a bad liar after all. Because you never listen to the Capitol, you always do things your way. If you don’t want to take the medication, then you won’t. Or you’ll take half-doses. You’ll never follow what the Capitol has to say directly, because they don’t understand.

Lame excuse but, “Because this is medical.”

“You’re sick, a passing--”

You look at Finnick, “Finn, they had to tell the gamemakers. Which means two things. One, it isn’t your typical regular cold, or two they’re worried that I won’t be healthy by the end of the week.”

He’s quiet for a moment. When the final hologram disintegrates into blocks, he places the extra trident back into the holder, “Look at me.”

You turn, slightly confused, “What?”

“Are you actually sick?”

You can’t hesitate, “Yes, Finnick. You saw it for yourself, what is this about?”

He squints at your face, “What’s the meds that they’re giving you?”

You shrug, “Some antibiotic.”

“Then you won’t mind me looking at the bottle to see if we could cut the doses?” He asks.

He’s trying to catch you, he has an inkling that you’re lying. Bad news for him, the bottle is hidden, he won’t find it. You took the extra mile just in case he were to do something like this.

Finnick hunts for secrets, and secrets hide behind lies.

“Go ahead.” you tell him, “But I’m not cutting doses.”

Finnick scowls, “What if it’s addictive?”

“It’s not.” you finally snap at him, “You wanted me to see the doctor yesterday, and now that I have, and I’ve gotten the proper meds from it, you’re against it. What’s with you?”

He lowers his voice, “No one goes from bad to good as fast as you did.”

“Finnick, it’s a bug, it’ll go away faster.”

His patience has run thin, “What did they do to you? What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything!” you suddenly shout, you watch as a few people turn their heads towards you guys.

Finnick squints, “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” you ask, “What do you think I’m hiding?”

You turn back to the settings on the station, hoping that he’ll drop it, but he grabs your hand before you can make any changes. You look at him to see that he’s dead serious. You haven’t seen him like this in a very, very long time.

It’s not often that you push Finnick past his limits. He’s a very patient person, and he’d rather talk about it than get mad. But since you’re refusing to talk, and he thinks--he doesn’t know just yet--that you’re hiding something, it’s getting on his nerves. You never keep things from him, and it’s the same way around.

“Don’t make me see the doctor.”

“Is that a threat?” you ask him, yanking your wrist from his hand. You even stand up a little taller, because he’s not going to intimidate you.

“She’ll tell me.”

You shake your head, “She can’t tell you anything because it’s confidential. I told you what you need to know.”

“What about Elysia and Mags?” he asks, “Or Laurel?”

“Haven’t talked to Laurel since the last time I saw her, same goes for Elysia and Mags. Drop it, Finnick.”

“Who else knows, then?”

“No one, Finnick.” you seethe, “Drop it.”’

“You’re unbelievable.” he shakes his head, “What if it concerns me?”

“As of right-fucking-now, it doesn’t.” you tell him, “And it won’t ever concern you, because it’s a fucking cold.”

“It’s a bullshit lie, (Y/n).” Finnick turns, taking the steps, “Don’t talk to me until you come clean.”

You cross your arms, “Then I guess this is goodbye.”

And just like that, you turn back to the settings, turning it to one, changing it to throwing knives, and turning up the difficulty. You hate the hormones already. The doctor told you it’ll be high before it drops off, and you hate that she’s right about this.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise.”

You’re just about to start the training session, but you look over to see who it is anyway. You’re face to face with Gloss, who’s looking smug.

“Go away, monkey.” He doesn’t budge, and you sigh, “What do you want?”

He smiles, “It’s never too late to start an alliance with us.”

“I literally told you and your sister off yesterday, did you not learn from that?”

Gloss laughs, “You’ve said and done worse to us.”

You tilt your head, taking this into consideration. He’s not wrong, “Doesn’t mean I want an alliance, I’ve already got one.”

“With Finnick? Be reasonable, that just went to shit.”

“He’s my husband, he’ll fall through.” you squint at him, “I don’t know why you’re asking me, when there’s literally anyone else you can choose from.”

“Careers got to stick together, right?”

“I told you yesterday that everyone in here is a career.”

He laughs again, “You think Woof is a career? What about Beetee and Wiress? They don’t know how to fight, not like us. They don’t have a chance at winning.”

“Bullshit,” you tell him, “They won the first time around.”

“Have you seen the mental state of Wiress?”

You roll your eyes, you’re not interested in this conversation. They’re stuck up and overly confident as usual, there would be no point in joining them. They pose as much as a threat as everyone else does. The chances of them getting their hands on you as fast as possible is likely. They’ll try to hunt you down on the first day.

The only thing you’ll get out of an alliance like this, is not being in their path. You’ll be able to hunt with them rather than against them. Hell, you might even be able to convince them to steer clear of a few people. Like, redirect their path…

Lightbulb!

You look to Gloss, and there’s a clear change on your face, because he stands up a little more, “What do I get out of this?”

He smiles, “Well, the only thing you’re probably interested in is for Finnick, right? Well, we spare him for you, if that time has to come. If you die early… there really wouldn’t be a reason to save him anymore.”

“Good enough for me.” you stick your hand out, “Shake on it.”

Gloss tilts his head curiously, but he goes ahead and does it, “Welcome in.”

“Don’t expect me to spend time around you guys.” you tell him once he releases your hand, “I’ll strategize with you guys a few days from now.”

“Before the interview, I’m sure.” he nods, “I’ll let the others know.”

Gloss then heads down the steps, away from you. Your eyes drag along the room to see who else has just seen the exchange, and it’s no surprise that Finnick and Johanna have their eyes on you. Finnick’s mouth is hanging open a little bit, clearly he didn’t expect you to turn around and do this. Not even five minutes after the end of the fight.

You turn to the station, looking at what you had just programmed. Then, you press cancel, turning everything off. You head down the steps calmly, even though it feels like a thousand pumps of adrenaline is running through to you. One glance at your new alliance and you see that they’re already smiling.

Cashmere waves, you do the same.

It takes all your power not to say anything to anyone on your way out. You wait until you’re outside of the room, the doors are shut, and you’re the only one in the long corridor besides the peacekeepers.

And then you let out a long breath of air. You continue your way to the elevator, but you’re mostly focused on getting yourself to calm down a bit, because that was a huge betrayal that you just did.

Everything right now has to change. Everything that you had been planning originally is out the window.

You press the button to open the doors, and they open pretty quickly. You step inside, press the next button that will take you to the floor where the prep teams are going to be.

“This is a smart decision.” you tell yourself, taking deep breaths, “You’re doing this for everyone, even if they can’t see it.”

The doors open, and you hold your head a little higher as you walk out. It won’t be far down the hall, since you’re District Four. You count the doors as they come, and you don’t knock when you come to your stylist’s room.

Inside stands Elysia, Pleurisy, Laurel and Mags.

Pleurisy jumps slightly, “You can’t be in here!”

Ignoring her, you step into the room and shut the door behind you. You still don’t get a chance to speak just yet, though.

“It’s good timing, actually,” Elysia starts, “We have a question to ask anyway.”

You nod, thinking they can get this out before you completely crush everything in one foul swoop.

“For the Quarter Quell, Caesar has suggested that we double up on the interviews,” Elysia comes a little closer, “For example, you and Finnick could be on stage at the same time, if you want.”

“No.” you tell her, “That can’t happen.”

Laurel squints, “Why not?”

There’s no turning back now, “Finnick and I aren’t in an alliance anymore. Which means that I don’t want matching outfits, and I don’t want to be associated with him.”

Mags face twists, and even though the words are hoarse, she shouts, “What did you do?!”

“I’m with the careers.” you tell her.

They’re all hesitant now, they have no idea where this is coming from. This is out of the blue for them. They don’t even know you had seen a doctor yesterday.

You have catching up to do, you suppose.

“Finnick and I had a disagreement, I went to the doctor yesterday because I wasn’t feeling well. The doctor had to report it to the gamemakers and Snow. Finnick thinks that there’s something wrong with the medication, but there is nothing,” you shift your feet slightly, “We fought about it and then he told me to not talk to him until I come clean. Unfortunately, that means I’m not talking to him for a very long time.

“And there’s no point in being in an alliance with him and everyone else if there is going to be no communication. So, I joined the careers because I want a chance at winning.” you swirl your hand in the air, “And he can’t give me that anymore.”

Laurel looks annoyed, “Did this just happen? Don’t you think you should think things through more?”

“Are you still married?” Elysia asks.

“Still married, just happened, and the decision is final. Change the outfit, I don’t want matching colors, styles, nothing. Don’t put us on stage together.”

“Does Finnick know about this?” Pleurisy asks.

“He knows about the alliance, I assume. I haven’t told him directly just yet, because I can’t talk to him. So pass on whatever information you please.” you shrug, “Create a rumor, for all I fuckin’ care.”

Then, you go ahead and leave the room. The door shuts, you check both ways, and it’s perfect timing. Haymitch is heading down the hall.

“You and I need to talk.” you tell him, he raises his eyebrows, “Now.”

“Okay…?”

He follows you into the stairwell. You don’t stop to talk, instead you start going up, and he catches on pretty quickly. You walk a little heavier, making sure to stop your feet a little louder.

“I’m joining the careers.” you tell him as quietly as you can manage, “Everyone in the center knows this.”

Haymitch pauses for a moment, “Why would--”

“Because I’m planning on redirecting the careers during the games.” you tell him, pausing too, “This stays between me, you, and Plutarch. No one else needs to know this, not even Finnick. He thinks I’m mad at him, and it needs to stay this way. If he tells you that I’m with the careers, play along.”

“You know this means that you’ll be forced to kill your friends, right?” he asks, “Chaff, Seeder, Woof, Cecelia…”

You stomp your foot loudly, emitting an echo, “You want this rebellion to happen? I’m sacrificing everything I have right now. My friends, my marriage, and my family. I’m all in, all I’m asking is for you to not get cold feet.”

He nods, “And what happens when you’re not where you need to be to get out?”

You look at the ground for a moment, “That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

-- Chapter Six --

The day you two fought, was the first time you had slept alone in five years.

You can’t say that you slept that night, in fact you can confidently say you didn’t at all, because you were busy making a bigger and better plan on how to get the careers to trust you. It wasn’t easy, because they were convinced that you would pass on all this information to Finnick, but just by your body language, they could see that you weren’t lying.

Finnick has not said a word to you, like he promised. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been talking to Elysia and Mags. They told you last night at dinner--after you had showed up nearly two hours late--that they passed on what you said. Which had explained the yelling, and the crashing noises before and during your dinner.

He still stares at you when you come into rooms. Almost like he’s waiting for you to turn to him and tell him that it’s all just an elaborate joke. Then his face will get sad and he’ll look everywhere but you for a while. He doesn’t want to swallow it, and you trust that he won’t.

The thing is, to him this looks like this is so easy to you. Like you’ve been waiting for a way to get out of the alliance in the first place and do this. He has to be thinking that you didn’t want to be in it, but you had agreed for his sake or something. Finnick can see your poker face, and he can see how content you are.

He can see that it was easy to let Elysia and Mags pass on the news. That you not only turned down the chance to appear on stage together, but you had messed up the coordinating outfits. Especially after it was your idea in the first place, to look like you two go together. Instead, you told Laurel to make it prettier, shinier, something a career would wear.

You’re blending, and you’re going to do it well. You thought that you wouldn’t ever be able to pretend again, since everyone knew your tricks from your first game. But you’re not playing damsel, you’re playing the betrayer. You’re leaving behind everything that you had made just to join the careers. And the best part, is that they’re all believing it.

You haven’t talked to anyone outside of the careers since. Katniss and Peeta stare as if they can’t believe you told them not to team up with the careers, only to go ahead and join them. Like you were pushing them away for your own agenda--but you’re glad you did that anyway.

Cecelia has tried to talk to you to see what’s up, but you brush her off. You know that it’s sad to know that this is how your best friend will remember you, a stone cold bitch only looking out for herself. As for Johanna… she nearly fucking tripped you while you were walking by her.

You’re quick on your feet, but that could have ended badly for several reasons. The first one being, you’re still pregnant, whether you like it or not. You still have to look out for yourself. No one else knows that you are, so they can’t be extra careful around you and knock off the behaviors. They’ll see it as a ‘boohoo’ sort of thing. You don’t need pity, you need power.

You hope that Finnick will be able to forgive you. You hope that if Finnick makes it out of the arena, and you don’t, that Haymitch will tell him everything. That you were doing this for him, for everyone as you always are. You’re selfish for the right reasons, and he should never believe that you would do something like this.

In that case, you should probably tell Haymitch that you’re pregnant too. But you might end up saving that for the very last minute. Like morning-of-games last minute, because it’s not something you want him to be taking into consideration all hours of the day.

You look over yourself in the mirror for a final time, pulling your hair into a ponytail while you’re at it. Today is the private training session with the gamemakers. And unlike everyone else, you’ll be trying extra hard to impress them. Since you’re already assuming that your score is going to be pretty low.

You think that they’re going to think that you’re weak from the pregnancy either way, and so whatever you do, you’ll just be impressing them a tiny bit. But doing trick shots is better than not doing anything at all. You’ve got a couple of things down your sleeve as usual.

You leave the bathroom, being sure to bounce on your feet a bit more because of the shoes. You started wearing them again today, you’ve been walking around with them all morning to break them in. They’re still a little tight, not quite shaped to your feet--you’re sure that they would have been had you been wearing them all this time.

Finnick is sitting on the arm of the couch, staring at the tv. It’s Caesar, talking about how today is the training sessions and the time in which you guys should come back to see the scores. Or rather, the time everyone back home and the Capitol should tune in. You could always sit down too out of curiosity’s sake, but it’s not required. You could play it as a mystery.

Typically, the scores are used among the tributes to figure out who’s the most deadly. It’s like putting a target on your back. When you had gone in the first time, and gotten a ten, it was good for sponsors, but on the other hand, the other tributes either had to steer clear or make you an immediate death. It might have been what secured your stance in the alliance back then.

But now, it’s just for the sponsors. You know personally that you have never gone after anyone based on their scores, and you don’t plan on starting either.

“She’s here,” Elysia tells him.

Without a word, he gets up from where he’s sitting. Though, he does sigh as if he’s unhappy with it. You’re sure that he would have preferred to show up earlier, and without you if it was possible. But the two of you need to show up at the same time so you’re not holding back everyone.

“See you later,” you wave to Elysia.

“Score high!” She says cheerfully, but her face is dead serious. She holds up her left hand, and uses the right to tap on her left ring finger.

It doesn’t take a genius to know what that means.

Your eyes go to Finnick, already ahead of you. You nod at Elysia, mouthing a ‘thank you’ and then you follow behind Finnick. Once you’re out the door, you’re tempted to break off and go down the staircase, but you remind yourself that you show up together.

You press your lips tightly together once you’re inside of the elevator, biting back the tears from the idea that he isn’t wearing his wedding band. Not talking to him and joining the careers is one thing, but taking off the wedding ring is another.

The doors open, Finnick goes first and you let him so you have time to wipe away the stray tears. You pinch the sensitive skin on your forearm as you walk. It’s enough of a distraction, and the tears stop immediately. A second later, you’re stone faced.

The lady outside the room takes note of your presence and then allows you to go inside. You’re not the first to arrive, but not the last. There’s plenty that still need to arrive.

Finnick sits on the inner seat as required, and you sit on the outer. You find yourself fidgeting with your mothers ring as you absently stare at the wall. You haven’t even noticed that Cashmere is calling your name, until she pats your knee slightly.

“Are you okay?” she asks, even when you do focus, she seems so far away.

“Out of it,” you tell her, “I think I’m getting sick again.”

You do feel nauseous, but that could always be because you’re nervous and you ate too much this morning. You were hungrier than usual, and by the way Elysia was staring, you were clearly eating more than usual. You couldn’t help it really, your stomach felt like a bottomless pit, and even now, you’re still kinda hungry.

No, you feel lightheaded and dizzy and disassociated.

It has to be because you’re ruining everything around you all for something that might not work. You’re putting everything you have on the line for a rebellion that two districts for sure, won’t back up. You’re having a huge milestone right now, and the worst thing about it, is that your husband doesn’t even know.

Finnick has always been so excited at the mention of a baby. You and him wanted to wait for a while to get settled. And before the games had been announced in the winter, you had brought up the talk of a baby. He was ecstatic and encouraged it. But then the games were announced and you had to stop all together.

Everything you’re doing has suddenly become ten times harder because it’s changing Finnick.

Finnick glances at you, almost as if he’s reading your mind. It has to be from the sick comment.

“Do I need to get someone?” she asks.

“I’m fine,” you tell her softly, “Thank you, though.”

She drops it. The moment that Enobaria and Brutus arrive, she launches into conversation with them. You listen to it as best as you can since there isn’t anything else to do. Occasionally, you’ll pull off your wedding ring and stare at it. As if it’s suddenly lost all meaning. But thinking about it that way makes your throat tighten and then you’re putting it back on again.

It’s almost a relief when they start calling names, starting with Gloss. You wish him good luck, and he’ll thank you. A few minutes later, he comes back, wishes you guys luck, and the process repeats with Cashmere, Brutus and Enobaria.

Soon, you’re sitting in a room surrounded by enemies. You keep your eyes forward, trying to calm yourself down before you hyperventilate. To distract yourself, you think about Blaire, and Cas and Mac. You think about how your fellow tributes back then had told you, that you were so damn lucky to have him.

You swallow thickly.

“District Four, Finnick Odair--”

You move out of the way for him, closing your eyes as he brushes past you. You don’t open your eyes until the doors are shut, and even then you have to close them. You lean forward, hiding your face in your hands for a moment.

You’re so ridiculous. You’re so stupid for thinking you’d be able to do this without breaking down at least once. Now that the barrier has broken, you can expect another one as soon as you get back to the apartment.

It’s sickeningly quiet inside of the room. A few people talk to each other, but it’s very hushed. They don’t bother to go above a whisper to not disturb anyone around them. Eventually, you raise your head again, out of your hands.

You hum to yourself quietly, needing some type of distraction. It’s almost a relief when the automated voice comes over again.

“District Four, (Y/n) Gallows--”

You stand, moving around where you had been sitting, and start towards the doors. They open, revealing Finnick on the other side. You don’t even look at his face, knowing how awful you must look right now. The doors shut behind you soon, and then you’re left with the gamemakers.

Silently, you make your way over to the throwing range. On the way, you hoist up a dummy in one arm, and bright purple pain in the other. Once you get past the twenty feet, you drop the doll, use the paint for targets on the forehead and chest, and then make your way away from it.

They have a little moving cart with things on them. Like the paint, with brushes, some rope, all sorts of shit. You take a moment, digging through it, and you’re stumped for a moment. Kinda mad that there isn’t anything to be used as a blindfold.

Then, you decide that your time is short in here, so you rip your tank top--which fills the still air painfully--and move on. You then grab the two machetes that are offered. You’ve only practiced this move with knives, but you’re sure you can pull this off either way.

You then look to the gamemakers, “Ready?”

A few nod, others motion for you to get it on with.

You line yourself up properly, memorizing the way it looks, then you pull on the blindfold, which surprisingly works better than you thought it would. You take in a deep breath to steady yourself, prepare the machetes.

Then, banking on luck, you throw the both of them.

Once you hear the thumps from the dummy, a few people even gasp and start clapping before you’ve even pulled off your blindfold.

And to your surprise, you’ve managed to not only get the chest, but the forehead too, which wasn’t marked at all. Masking this up, you smile at yourself proudly, and even pick up a few knives for fun.

Not throwing all four at once, you throw them one at a time quickly, alternating between the head and the chest. But on the very last one, you get the crotch perfectly. You dust off your hands slightly, turning to the gamemakers.

“You’re dismissed,” one of them tells you.

“Thanks.” you bounce slightly, heading for the door. This is when they play the automated message again, letting the guy of District Five know that he can head inside.

Unsurprisingly, that felt fantastic to do.

You bounce your way through the waiting room, knowing that eyes are following you on your way out. The next set of doors open, allowing you to leave, and then you start your way to the staircase. It’s a long way to run back up the staircase, but you’ve got the adrenaline pumping anyway.

It feels nice to exercise again, it’s stretching your legs more. Since you’ve put on all this weight, it’s been harder, but it doesn’t mean that it’s stopped being nice to do. You’ve definitely lost some of the pounds that you gained from training so hard inside of the training center, but it’s all the same.

Before you know it, you’ve gone up the four flights. Once the door is open, you can see into the hallway, which means that you can also see that Finnick is standing there with Pleurisy. She peeks around him curiously from the door opening, but at the sight of you, she goes back to Finnick.

She favors him, because he’s her boy, y’know? Just like how Laurel favors you, because you’re her girl. You know Laurel better, and Finnick knows Pleurisy better.

You don’t say anything to either of them, heading inside of the apartment. You slam the door a little harder than you mean to. Because of this, you can see Laurel and your entire prep team jerk their heads in your direction.

“My bad.” you admit, “What’s this about?”

“Your scores, mostly.” Laurel says, when you go up the steps you can see that Elysia and Mags are here too, “Which will be airing later.”

“What’s the other part of it?” you ask, crossing your arms.

Laurel doesn’t hold anything back, “Finnick has decided to change his district token.”

You don’t know if you’re supposed to act surprised, Elysia had already warned you earlier, “Okay, and?”

Mags holds out her hand, which has Finnick’s ring in the middle. You take it from her, pinching it between two fingers.

“He’s forfeited the ring.” Cleo tells you nervously, “He doesn’t want it anymore.”

You laugh too, “And what am I supposed to do with it? Is this his way of divorcing me?” It’s silent in the room, and you quirk an eyebrow, “You’re kidding.”

“He didn’t necessarily say that.” Elysia defends, “He just said that he won’t be needing it.”

You look down at it, “Guys, I can’t take it into the games with me.”

The door opens behind you, a few eyes look past you, but they quickly land on you again.

“You could always fuse it with your own…” Beth suggests quietly.

With those words, you want to crush the ring in your hand, “I’m not melting my mother's ring to this. He’s the one forfeiting it.”

You turn suddenly, seeing Finnick going to his room, “Hey, jackass!”

“(Y/n)--” Laurel warns.

Finnick doesn’t stop, so you follow behind him, “You call me unbelievable when you’re handing me the fucking ring back without saying a goddamn word to me! Are you suddenly incapable of telling me this is over?”

Nothing.

“I know why the token changed.” you tell him, because you do.

It’s probably the thing with the alliance. Haymitch said that he was going to give you two something anyway, so that’s not what you’re mad about. You’re mad that the words ‘forfeiting’ and ‘not wanting it anymore’ have just come from the mouths of a couple of Capitol citizens rather than him.

“This is how you want it?” you can feel your eyes begin to water, throat closing in, “You want it like this?”

He stops now, “You’re the one that ended it.”

“How? Those words never came from my mouth.”

Finnick turns towards you, “The second you started keeping secrets, (Y/n)! The second you made an alliance with the careers! You’re not stupid, you’re not blind! You knew what you were doing the second you did that. Don’t act surprised when I’m suddenly uninterested in you.”

“I’m not keeping secrets.” you tell him slowly, “I have never, ever kept secrets from you! Stop accusing me of it! This is your fault! Not mine!”

“You can’t lie to me.” he says, “You can’t. I see through your facade like glass.”

It’s like going in circles, “I can’t do this.”

You go to leave, but then you turn back to Finnick, grabbing his hand harshly and planting the ring in his finger, “If this is over like you want, you’re the one calling quits, not me. Go ahead and get rid of it, I don’t care. It’s yours.”

You let go of him after that, heading to your room. The door opens automatically, and shuts automatically. You lock it, and then you head straight to the shower, locking that door too. You turn the water up too hot, and strip yourself.

You place the ring in a drawer so you don’t have to look at it. Then, you sit in the middle of the shower floor and let the hot water melt your skin.

--

You stand several feet from the couch, arms crossed as you stare at Caesar’s face. He introduces the scores as he does every year, and how they work. He tells you guys that footage won’t be provided later on, since it was private.

Then, he starts with Cashmere first. You’re content with what your fellow careers have gotten, tens and elevens, no lower. There’s no surprise with what they’ve got, you guys have been training pretty hard for the last couple of days. The gamemakers are watching during those times, and it’s partially what makes up the scores.

Wiress and Beetee get eights. Soon enough he’s introducing District Four.

“(Y/n) Gallows, with a score of,” he smiles pleasantly, “Eleven.”

Elysia jumps at the number, “How?”

“That’s all I need to see.” you tell them, turning around and beginning to leave to allow Finnick be out there with them. It was hard to even convince yourself to stand there, even if his back was turned to you and all.

On your way out, you can still hear Caesar, “Finnick Odair, with a score of ten.”

-- Chapter Seven --

You sit at the edge of the bed, head hanging as you stare at the carpeted floor. You can’t bring yourself to get off of the bed. You want to stay here, and not get ready for today. You’d rather just sleep for the rest of your life because it’s not worth it anymore.

You know that you’re still doing this for Finnick, because even if he thinks that you’re over--which is a quick decision to make, when it’s been only two days--you’re still doing this for him. You’ll always be doing this for him, whether you like it or not. Because the love of your life, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices.

Even if you wanted to, you can’t tell Finnick what you’re doing. It’s too late to change anything, and if he did get rid of the ring like you told him to last night, then it’s going to make him either incredibly guilty or mad. You’re impressed that he’s figured you out so quickly, but that doesn’t mean you’re happy about it.

If you were to ever tell him, it would be a whole list of things. The first is that everything you’ve done so far is for him. The second is that you’re pregnant, and the pills are the only thing that’s keeping you from feeling all those effects. If you weren’t taking the meds, then you would be so sluggish and you’d weigh them down, which is just another reason why you can’t be with him in the arena.

Supposedly, you two were supposed to act like guard dogs for Katniss and Peeta. Johanna was going to round up everyone else Katniss had wanted an alliance with, which was originally you, Beetee and Wiress. Now that you’re out of the picture though, Finnick is going to have to corral them without you.

With the careers, they’ll be able to protect you. They’re smart, they’ve got high scores. They’re going to expect you to be able to do everything on your own, but the reality of the situation is that you were all show inside of that private session. There is absolutely no way you’ll be able to pull off anything nearly as impressive like you did in there.

Anyway, the third secret is that you’re going to be redirecting the careers. You’re going to try and convince them to go after the nobody’s like the morphlings, and the outsider districts. Say that you guys should save the alliance going on with Finnick, Katniss and Peeta a moment to simmer.

You need to settle in on the first day anyway, get used to your surroundings before doing anything drastic like trying to wipe out the stronger tributes. You all have to get used to killing the people around you again, which is easier said than done. You’re about to kill people that have done absolutely nothing to you, and you even made a friend out of them at some point.

There’s a couple of knocks at the door, and then it slides open to reveal Elysia. She’s a little apprehensive at the start, until you look up at her. You must look so tired, because her face twists as she hurries over to you.

“Did you even sleep?”

“No.” you tell her, “It’s not everyday you tell your spouse to throw away a ring.”

You get out of the bed now, not bothering to stretch as you drag your feet to the dresser. She doesn’t move from where she was standing, probably staring at you now. Wondering what the hell you’re thinking now, since you’re the one that started all of this. You told them you don’t want to be associated with him.

“Don’t you think you’re taking whatever plan you have, a little too far?” she asks quietly.

“I have to.” you tell her, “It’s not just for me anymore. It’s for everyone.”

“What happened to being selfish?” she asks, “Thinking for yourself?”

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t.” you hold the clothes over your arm, “It’s too late now. I’m going into the arena like this.” Then, you turn to look at her, “This may look like a mess to everyone, but it’s sorted. It’s how I need it to be.”

“Then tell me or Mags, please. We’re the ones getting sponsors for you two. I’ve been telling them that you guys are going to stick together, and now that has changed.” she shakes her head, “What are you planning?”

“Just, trust me.” you tell her, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Look at what it’s done to you.” Elysia motions, “You look like hell.”

You don’t say anything back to that, “I’m going to take a shower and then we can go down to my prep team. Or I can go alone, I don’t care.”

“We should probably go over etiquette again.” She tells you, “How to answer questions and all of that.”

“We can practice that while I’m getting ready.” you tell her, “Since it’ll be hours long. I’m going to take a shower now.”

She nods, leaving the room. You head into the bathroom, stripping and then getting in the shower. You wash it so they won’t have to, and you scrub your skin until it’s red, not really realizing you’re doing it.

When you’re tired of standing there, you get out and dry yourself off. You slip on the tank top and sweatpants that you pulled out for yourself. Trying not to rip the brush through your hair, you stare at the ring absentmindedly, noticing how it reflects the light pretty easily.

Then, you tie all your hair back and out of your face. Not only to keep it from knotting, but because you don’t feel like having it hang in your face. You’ll have all night for that.

Finnick is sitting at the table when you get out there. You take your usual spot, eating slowly, and even stopping yourself before you’re too full. The silence is deafening and it’s driving you a little nuts. So, you get up early, tell Elysia that you’re heading to the prep team and then take your time getting there.

You take the elevator, no staircase today. There’s no one else that steps on, it’s just you all the way down. So, you spend this time asking yourself meaningless questions as if Caesar would be asking them. It’s a fun exercise, especially when you have this ever-growing hatred for the Capitol right now.

Before you know it, you’re being let into the room. No one really says anything, not after last night.

Beth, Cleo and Leo all talk about meaningless things. How excited they are to hear what some of the tributes have to say. They might not have been born for tributes like Woof, Chaff and Seeder, but it’s always thrilling to hear what they have to say anyway. With the technology that the Capitol has,they have the ability to go back and watch some of those games.

Not Woof, or Mags for that matter either, those are the beginning games. Mags was the eleventh or something, right in double digits. Which is pretty old, and understandable to think about. Your ancestors in the districts were still developing styles and the techniques on how to get things to the Capitol.

You bet that by the time the twenty-fifth games came around, they had the ability to film it better. Less fuzzy cameras, more of them maybe. The Capitol is always changing and coming up with better technology. For example, the building that you’re sitting in right now.

It’s a brand new fucking building, run off of exclusively power. And it sucks up so much of it, that some of the holo stations were messing up. A person would disappear for a second, and then reappear. They’d throw their weapon and it wouldn’t show up again, but you still wouldn’t lose the game either.

The Capitol had used up pretty much all of their resources to make a bigger, and safer building for the gamemakers when they watch you guys in their area. They made better apartments, faster elevators, they upped security. All because they could and they had the technological advances. Which is why you were also so paranoid about them listening to you.

If they can hide cameras literally everywhere inside of the arena, with microphones so good that they pick up even the quietest whisper, then what stops them from doing the same inside of this building? They could hear every single conversation that has possibly gone on. And the elevators are the best bet on where the cameras and microphones could be.

They’re not expecting their tributes to go down the fire escape staircase. Never in your life would you expect something like that, so why should they? Those staircases are dirty, the railing dusty. It shows that no one has been in there for a while. Just in case people do run through there, you don’t grab onto the railings to show someone has gone through.

However, when you come out of the staircase at the bottom of the stairs, there’s still two peacekeepers, which defeats the purpose of not holding onto the railing anyway. But still, it’s an extra precaution, just in case you can get that higher standpoint of ‘you have no evidence that I was inside of there’. No fingerprints, but shoe prints. Though, anyone could have ended up making those.

Leo eventually gets on the topic about training scores, which is when they really start to gush. You know only the beginning numbers, and they know that. Which is exactly why they probably started talking about it in the first place. They don’t have the numbers memorized by any means, but they can give you a general idea of what it’s looking like.

The morphlings scored averagely, still in the same range as Wiress and Beetee. If you recall correctly, theirs were eights or nines. You really don’t expect anything better from a bunch of drug addicts, you’re actually kind of surprised that they hadn’t gotten anything lower.

Johanna and Blight had gotten ten’s. Beth says that Johanna should have definitely gotten higher, with the way she won a few years ago. Everyone had been getting ten’s and eleven’s, so it’s hard to believe that Johanna wouldn’t get nearly as high as you did.

District Eight is Woof and Cecelia. Woof scored low, there’s not much he can do anymore. He’ll be an easy target to take out inside of the arena. Probably won’t make it past the first day, as you’ve said before. There’s not a chance for him. As for Cecelia, she got a nine. You can’t say that you didn’t see that coming either.

District Nine and Ten between them only have one ten, and it’s the guy from nine. After that, it’s nines and eights. Chaff and Seeder get tens, and then finally, it’s District Twelve.

“They both got twelve.” Cleo scoffs, “Twelve! I can understand Katniss, but Peeta? Be realistic, they must have bribed them or something.”

Twelves.

“Peeta hardly looks like an eleven.” Beth laughs quietly, pausing from doing your nails for a moment, looking at you, “Don’t you think, (Y/n)? I mean, you have spoken with him, right?”

You nod slightly, trying to recall any sort of memory of him training inside of the center. But you can’t, he spent most of his time going from station to station learning skills. There had probably been at least once or twice he was doing something, but you never saw it.

“A ten would seem right on him,” you tell them, “Maybe even lower.”

Leo sighs, “Weak, I knew it.”

They go back to chatting after that, hopping from topic to topic. You stopped paying attention after the numbers that everyone had gotten, mostly stuck on why they had both gotten twelve’s like they did. Katniss is understandable, she’s very capable with a bow, but you wonder what happens when you take that away. What else can she use?

As for Peeta, you have no idea what his specialty is. Everyone in the arena is going to have something, so what’s his going to be? You have spears, Finnick has tridents, Johanna and Blight have axes. The careers have knives and swords, Katniss has her bow. But what will he have?

The only time you have even seen him wield a weapon was when you were watching their hunger games, and that was a sword. That was when he was still going around with the careers, and even then the sword wasn’t his. It really belonged to the boy from District One.

Peeta has to be completely incapable of knowing how to fight. It’s always been Katniss that was killing people, Peeta doesn’t have a goddamn number on him, you think. Which is nuts. How do you go the whole hunger games without killing someone? Not even one person? There’s no way you could have done it.

There’s only one real reason why both Katniss and Peeta have gotten the highest number possible. The gamemakers or Snow have rigged it again. It’s not for sponsors, it’s so the other tributes will take it as a threat and head after them first. But with that logic, at least half of the arena will be targeted in this way. Your head has a bounty on it, just the same as everyone else.

Although, it is no secret that Snow isn’t happy with Katniss and Peeta. It’s why the whole rebellion is being planned in the first place, right? Because Katniss has riled up Panem, and she’s ready to wipe the fuck out of the Capitol. Of course, as you’re sure you’ve said earlier, it will be no easy thing to do. The Capitol won’t sit and take it.

Sometime after your nails are finished and Leo has started on your makeup, Laurel and Elysia show up. Elysia tells you that Mags has decided to sit with Finnick instead. You can’t help but to be a little irritated over this, but you can imagine that Elysia has mentioned what you said this morning, about how it’s a plan you can’t just stop on.

You hope that Mags isn’t passing that information back to Finnick too. You need him to stay mad at you, so he does not want to come and try to find you during the games. You want him to stay with the others, and you want him to keep them as far away from the careers as possible.

The only way to keep this going, is if you stick to your plan by having the careers on reigns, and not telling him this. Knowing Finnick, if he had been let in on this plan, he would want you to try to come and find him or vice versa. If you guys are split up inside of the arena, then that means any cannon could belong to you or him.

He still cares about you, there’s no doubt about that. Finnick probably didn’t take any pleasure in forfeiting the ring in the first place and saying that he ‘didn’t want it anymore’. Finnick has been nothing but loving these past couple of years, and this is the first time you two have really fought. You never shout at each other, and sleep in different beds.

There’s a difference between a disagreement, and a fight. Disagreements was like when you volunteered to be here. It’s not something he liked, but he could get past that. But you joining the careers in an alliance and turning your back on literally everyone, now that is a fight.

You always knew that Mags secretly favored Finnick more than you.

“Why did you volunteer?” Elysia asks, almost trying to mimic Caesar.

You’re standing now as your prep team finishes the last few things. Elysia heard that there will be no sitting this year, and it’s all standing. So, you’ll be standing for nearly an hour behind the tributes getting interviewed. Because of this, the heels you’re wearing aren’t sky high, but they aren’t too short either.

You flash a smile, “I originally had done it because I believed that Finnick had needed my help with the games,” and then you tilt your head off to the right, “But now I believe I did it because I want to win.”

Elysia doesn’t like that answer and you can even see Laurel pause in the mirror. You think they’re about to leave it be, but Laurel shakes her head, “Change that answer.”

“It’s my opinion--”

“It’s fake.” Laurel squints at you, “You don’t actually believe that.”

“You want me to go on stage and say what I’m actually thinking?” you ask her, “No one will want to hear it, and all the sponsors that are left, are suddenly gone. I’m not going to produce some fucking sob story, but the games will never be cancelled. And none of them deserve one anyway.”

It’s silent in the room now, Elysia has given up on the questions and she eventually leaves too. The prep team finishes up everything, and soon enough you’re being brought to step into the dress. Not a single word comes from any of them as you step into the blue dress, something that is very similar to what you wore your first time.

The dress is beautiful as always. It’s the same color blue from the first dress you wore. And it’s also floor-length, which means that you’ll be having to pick up the front in order not to step on it. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you’re proud of what Laurel was able to make on such short notice.

“Thank you.” you tell them, catching the prep team’s notice, “You guys will never understand how much I appreciate you guys. You have been here since the beginning, especially when I’ve been difficult.” and then you turn to look at them, “I love you guys, seriously.”

Cleo sniffs, and tries to wipe underneath her eye, but it doesn’t work. Beth hugs you very gently, as well as Leo to try and not ruin anything that they’ve just finished. When they’re done, Laurel looks over you, “I don’t have to say goodbye just yet, I have tomorrow.”

You laugh, and she smiles, “I guess it’s time for me to leave?”

“Oh!” Cleo says, “Energy shot, from Elysia.”

Cleo hands it over, and you take it immediately. You might not look tired anymore, but you still feel like you’ve just risen from the dead, even all these hours later. Thankfully, Elysia has your back no matter what as usual.

Leo opens the door for you, and you leave the hallway and start your way to where the stage is going to be. It’s not right around the corner anymore, you have to go quite a ways before you finally get there.

You hold up the dress in the front, but you’re acutely aware that the back of the dress is dragging against the floor. You trust that the floor is clean, because you don’t want to suddenly have the dress gathered in your arms, afraid that it’ll ruin the natural flow of the wrinkles.

The interviews have started already, and you know this because at one of the corners, there’s a tv with Cashmere and Gloss on the screen. Cashmere is fake crying, as Gloss is trying to raise some reaction from the crowd as well. Somewhere around the corner, you can hear someone crying as if it means something to them. It has to be a Capitol citizen, likely a prep team.

The sound of boots throw you off, and you turn to see where they’re coming from, and it’s behind you. You should have minded your own business, because now you’re staring straight at Finnick. Once you realize, you cross your arms, letting go of the dress as you stare at the screen.

He stops beside you. From the glance you got, the both of you have two very different styles going on. You’re in this dress, it’s garish and long, and very beautiful. Laurel calls it the ‘goddess’ style. It makes you look wealthy, but not in the Capitol terms. Your skin may not be dyed blue, and your hair isn’t crazy colors, but you still look like you run something important in the Capitol.

You look like a darling, as you always will be.

As for Finnick, he’s got a buttoned down white shirt that’s tucked into a light blue-green pair of poofy pants, and of course then there’s the black boots. He has some necklaces hanging around his neck, but that’s about it.

They definitely did it, and they did it very well.

It’s quiet between you two for a while as you watch what happens during the interview. And then he speaks, “You know, it’s not too late to appear on stage together.”

“It is.” you say, “And it’s not like I would want to do it anyway.”

He looks at you, “Why are you being like this? Why have you suddenly decided that you want nothing to do with me?”

“I thought you weren’t going to speak to me.” you remind him bitterly, “How are we supposed to have an alliance with no communication?”

“So you team up with the careers?” he asks, you can see where he’s coming from. It’s a bold move, an overreaction, “What sense does that make?”

You jerk your head at him suddenly, “I’ve always gotten along with them better.”

“You get along with everyone.” he disagrees, “Not just careers, and you know that.”

Gloss and Cashmere are up. Enobaria passes in front of you, and on the way, she gives Finnick a judgemental look. Finnick laughs at that. Behind Enobaria trails Brutus, but he doesn’t follow her onto the stage.

“Let me go on stage with you.” he asks again.

“No, Finnick.” you tell him harshly.

“You don’t want your brothers and sister to see us together a final time? They’ll know something is up--”

You look at him, “You know nothing about what I want, or my motives. So what if they see us apart? We don’t have to be attached at the hip.”

A brief silence, and then, “That’s not what you were saying when we first got here.”

“Things have changed.”

“It didn’t have to,” he insists.

“You’re the one that forced it,” you remind him again, “You’re the one that insisted I was holding onto something. You didn’t want to talk to me.”

Finnick sighs, “You didn’t actually think that I would ignore you for long, be honest with yourself.”

“That’s because you were expecting me to crack and give you some bullshit lie. But when you figured out that I was stubborn, you realized the mistake you made,” You look at Finnick, “And you still haven’t even apologized just yet.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “Even after all of this, you still can’t come to terms with it. Get over yourself Finnick, you were wrong, and you’re still wrong.”

Finnick looks directly at you, the buzzer on the stage has gone off again, Brutus moves to get ready to go on as soon as his name is called. You and Finnick are caught in your own little bubble.

“(Y/n), I’m never wrong.” His face is dead serious, there’s no amusement.

You match it, a little mad that he’s so good at this, “Then you’re accusing me of being a liar. And to that, I say fuck you.”

You hike up the dress, being sure that he isn’t stepping on it, before you head over to where Wiress and Beetee are already waiting. You stand tall in the heels that you’re wearing. You can easily see over Wiress’s head, and you’re a little bit taller than Beetee. You’re mostly just meeting his eyes.

You quietly watch the interviews, watching how everyone has corresponding outfits so far. But when you look at Wiress before she heads on stage, you notice that her and Beetee aren’t matching at all. And it’s about to be the same thing for you and Finnick. One more elegant than the other, but the both of you have a way with words.

It’s no surprise that everyone who has been on stage so far are trying to be persuasive, they want the Capitol to change their minds. You might all be enemies as soon as you step into that arena tomorrow afternoon, but tonight you work as one team. With only one goal, to get the citizens of the Capitol to see that this is no hunger games that they should enjoy.

Wiress is gone soon enough, and Beetee is up. He mentions something about being able to change these games. If it was put in, then that means it can be taken out. And he’s so right, but it’s not good enough. The buzzer goes off a couple minutes later.

The cheering gets louder when the crowd realizes who they’re going to see next. You take a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“Good luck.” Finnick tells you.

And just this once, you decide to be nice, “You too. No love poems.”

He cracks a smile, “Can’t promise that.”

“(Y/n) Gallows!” Caesar yells.

You pull up the dress in the front while you go up the steps. The second that you’re in sight of the crowd, you smile widely, letting go of one side as you wave. This is a much bigger interview place than the first time. There’s more people, and they surround you from every angle.

And you can’t deny that the stage doesn’t look absolutely gorgeous. The Capitol had really gone out of their way to make sure you guys look like royalty.

Caesar gasps when he sees you, helping you up the final steps. When you’re able to stop, you let go of the dress so it can fall back into place.

The crowd is still pretty loud, so you two wait for them to quiet down some before starting. Even then, you’re still waving slightly, smiling brightly, and pointing some people out. You make them feel special, acknowledging one at a time.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” Caesar compliments, you turn to him with a bright smile.

“Thank you, Caesar. I have to say the same about you. The purple hair this year really is different. A new trend?” you suggest, there’s a wave of cheering.

“One can hope!” he laughs, “I do have a question, though.”

You move for him to continue, and he smiles.

“I have to ask, why you and Finnick didn’t come up here together!” he looks surprised, and some people from the crowd yell out too, “You two are still deeply in love, aren’t you?”

“Of course we are, don’t suggest something so heinous!” you widen your eyes, shaking your head, “I just thought that the Capitol would love to see him by himself for the final time.” you look out to the crowd, knowing that your expression has gotten a little darker, “It really was a waste to crown all of us over these seventy-five years, only to take it away.”

And then you look to Caesar, “I mean, to think of our families! Our houses will be taken away, and they’ll be plunged right back into the classes they came out of. Don’t you think that’s selfish?”

Caesar’s mouth is open for a moment, like he doesn’t know what to say to that. So, you continue and look back out, smiling widely, “I hope I win, for the sake of my brothers and baby sister.”

He’s seem to have recollected his thoughts, “Well, you did volunteer, after all.”

“I did!” you nod, “But I did it for Finnick. I thought it would increase at least one of our chances at making it home to my family.” and this is where you really decide to cut out the kind act, “As you guys should know, he doesn’t have any family left. After Snow had killed them for all of your guys’ pleasure.”

Crickets.

You look at Caesar, his mouth is open again.

“It really is a shame that you take away all this shit from us.” you shake your head, “First you took my father, from making him overwork. Then you took my innocence and my ability to sleep soundly at night. Of course, you have to assign a Quarter Quell like this. Now my two brothers and sister are going to have another two missing people in the family, and they’re going to have to go back to living in that shack.”

You look out at the crowd again, “You can change this. You, the Capitol can decide that you don’t want this anymore, at any given time. You can protest and say that you don’t want us, your favorites to head back into those games. And if you don’t want to do it for yourselves, then do it for us.

“Show us mercy.” you emphasize the words.

The buzzer goes off, signaling your time is up, which really is perfect timing, but you can’t leave it at that.

“Reed, Mox and Alyssum. I know you’re watching this, and I want you to know that I love you guys. And I’m sorry that it’s going to end like this. Don’t give up.”

Someone breaks into tears in the crowd, you ignore it and head to where you need to stand on the stage. You go up the steps, passing the careers, who nod at you individually. And Beetee smiles, because you might have left the alliance that fuels the rebellion, but you’re reliable after all.

You fold your hands in front of you, watching as the crowd comes back to life at Finnick.

Caesar comments on how comfortable Finnick looks, and he says that the boots are still a little tight from how brand new they are. Caesar tries to keep it light, not wanting to dip back into the mess that you have made, but it’s too late. Finnick shares the same opinions.

“She was right, you know.” Finnick says, “My parents and siblings are gone. But that doesn’t stop her from being my family. And my heart goes out to her brothers and sister tonight, because they are about to lose two very important people in their lives.”

The rest of the interview seems to go smoothly, until Caesar mentions a poem. Finnick smiles widely, and you know that cameras are suddenly on you. You shake your head slightly, but tilt your head. You knew it was coming.

“Tonight, I stare at the moon,” he starts, there’s a few screams, “I think of her gently. She is the love of my life, and I hope she thinks the same of me. We’ve gone through everything together, and this is just another obstacle. I trust her with my life, and she trusts me with hers.

“If I die tomorrow, then I hope she knows that it was for her. And I hope that she gives her all to continue on. For us. My love, I’m sorry it has to go this way.”

Then his buzzer also goes off, and he says his goodbye before heading up the staircase too. Passing everyone, and then stopping beside you. He takes your hand in his, and you make no move to remove it.

The next few tributes are boring, they make their attempts. When Johanna gets on the stage, she resorts to shouting at the Capitol. You laugh, because it’s funny to you. Everyone is handling it very differently, and that’s just how it goes. She’s still yelling by the time the three minutes is up, but she marches over to where she has to stand, crossing her arms.

Cecelia makes a speech out to her kids and husband, which has the crowd in tears once again. And everyone after that isn’t as important. They say what they have to, make false promises when it’s due, and then they move to where they need to stand.

And then Katniss is up.

In a full white wedding gown, she sparkles in the light. The sight is sickening to you, but she says that it was courtesy of Snow, which makes it ten times worse, but it also makes sense at the same time. Snow would do something like this.

Then Caesar asks Katniss to twirl for everyone to show off the dress. She moves forward a little bit, and then starts. The dress bursts into flames at the bottom, the more she spins, the more it goes up. It turns a dark blue color.

“Oh my god.” you laugh.

Katniss raises her arms, and then Finnick can’t help but to laugh too. Caesar can’t get what bird it is, but all of you know instantly, “A mockingjay.” she says.

You can see the look on Snow’s face now.

Katniss’ time is up not too far after, and she takes her spot at the end of the second row. Next to her will stand Peeta.

The beginning of his interview is to say the least, boring. It’s a slow start on all of them, and considering that you’ve practically watched all of them by now, it’s awful. Your feet are starting to hurt from standing here for an hour.

Caesar brings up the wedding, how it won’t happen. Peeta’s response is to tell Caesar that it did happen, but that’s a bunch of bullshit in your mind. Not only are they teenagers, but they also have traditions in their district with marriage. Every single one does.

Peeta sprouts bullshit, you can tell by Katniss’ body language that she’s a little uncomfortable and she wasn’t aware of this. It’s what happens when you have to lie through your teeth. But you’ll give him credit because he is trying to throw off the whole games as the rest of you are.

“--and I wouldn’t have any regrets at all… if it--if it weren’t--” he stutters.

You squint.

“If it weren’t for what?” Caesar asks.

A small pause, like he’s hesitant to say it, and then, “If it weren’t for the baby.”

Your hand loosens around Finnick’s as the crowd begins to scream at it. They’re clearly unhappy with the news, and Caesar tries to make an attempt to calm them down, but it doesn’t work. He encourages Peeta to go back to where he needs to be with the rest of you.

Peeta hugs Katniss when he gets to her, and then they calm down somewhat.

“What a load of shit.” Finnick laughs.

“It’s got the crowd riled.” Beetee mutters.

You can’t say anything. Because even though Peeta had just done that, it won’t mean anything for you guys. The games won’t be cancelled, because it wasn’t cancelled when it was figured out for you.

“The games will continue,” you tell them both, Finnick glances at you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him, “They won’t stop it.”

“You really think--?”

“I know.” you don’t elaborate after that.

You watch as the bottom row links hands, which means that the top is going to too. You and Finnick are already holding on to each other, you just tighten your grip with him a little more. Then, you reach over for Beetee.

Once everyone is linked, you hold your arms up.

Caesar clearly doesn’t like this, because it gets the crowd louder, and angrier. He motions for you guys to cut it out, but it’s no use.

Just for tonight, all of you are allies. All of you guys are one.

Then the lights cut.

-- Chapter Eight --

Despite the apology being in the poem, you didn’t find it good enough. You’d rather it be said to your face, with no double meaning. Because what he said out there last night, could be taken two ways. One, he was apologizing to you, for starting this fight. Or two, it just belonged to the poem, as if he was apologizing that you two were in this mess again.

And another reason why you didn’t accept it, is because you don’t know which one it’s supposed to be either. He didn’t take the time after the interviews to tell you. Not like you would have ended up accepting it anyway, for the plan’s sake. But still, it would have been nice.

Last night you managed to sleep a lot easier, no problem at all. No nightmares, no waking up periodically, you slept the entire night through. Even though there was a festival going on below you, and you and your husband still aren’t on the same page with this. Even though the games start tomorrow, and you still have a gigantic secret on your hands.

It’s hard to believe that this is your life.

You roll out of the bed, being careful not to actually get on your stomach. Once you’re on your feet, you stretch. Touching your toes, cracking your knuckles and back. You do anything to get your heart rate to rise. It works, and you keep standing, moving around the room consistently to see what happens.

No nausea, which is a very good sign. And no lightheadedness or dizziness or anything. Then again, you’re not exhausted like you had been the first time so you’re not going to be getting the full effects.

Satisfied that you’re still doing okay, you go ahead and take a shower. When you’re done, you pull on some meaningless clothes again since you’ll be changing as soon as you get to the tunnels. You don’t have your wedding ring, you had to hand that off to Laurel, but she’ll be giving it back to you when you get to her.

You take the last of the pregnancy medication that the doctor had given you, hoping that it’s effects will be in full swing by the time you get to the arena this afternoon. You don’t want to be in a weird half-point. The beginning of the games is a very crucial moment, depending on where you start.

The careers have been planning to run to the middle when they get the chance, but they’re a little apprehensive because you’re all going to want to run. Especially people like Finnick, Katniss, Peeta, Johanna and so on. You’re not going to be the only ones with the idea.

Which is why Cashmere said she would settle to get there second, since there’s always duplicates of weapons, and you all just agreed with her. This just means that this year you’re not going to be the first to get there, high on adrenaline and making the first swing, not caring who it is that gets hit.

While you pull all your hair back, you sit on the side of the bed that faces the big window. You stare out, seeing all the brightly colored people and how they interact with each other. They’re all excited, for them it’s a fantastic anticipation. They have hours before they need to worry about sitting in front of their television so they don’t miss the beginning.

Everyone, the Capitol and the districts will be watching to see who makes it past the first day. The thought of that makes your stomach turn sickeningly, you hate the whole idea of it. Your siblings back home will be watching yours and Finnick’s every move. The note you had laid out for them said that you had volunteered for Finnick. But the second that the games start, they’re going to see something different.

Once you’re tired of staring, you finally get off the bed and head out of the room. You’re expecting to see Elysia, Mags and Finnick at the table, but it’s quiet. No one is here, it’s just you.

Out of confusion, you look to the nearest avox, “Did they leave?”

She nods slightly.

“Did they say where?”

She shakes her head.

It’s your turn to nod now, and you move over to the table, “Can you get me something other than stew?”

She heads away from you, leaving towards the kitchen presumably. You look over the table carefully, hoping for some sort of note, but again you come up with nothing. Disappointed, you sit in your regular seat, hands folded in your lap like some scolded child.

It’s hard to believe that you’re doing the right thing when everyone around you is saying the exact opposite. Your brain is telling you that you’re still on track for the original plan, that this isn’t for you anymore, it’s for every oppressed citizen in the districts. But how far can you go before it’s too far? Where it’s the point of no return and you’ve ruined your relationship with Finnick? With everyone?

You won’t even get to say goodbye to Mags or Elysia.

The avox serves the food and you thank her quietly. You eat silently, playing with the pancakes she’s given you. You eat as much as you can bother, before the food tastes bland and your pancakes are too soggy to eat anymore. You leave the plate, thanking the avox again.

“I’m going to visit someone.” you tell her, looking around for some pen and paper. You find it on the coffee table in front of the tv. You write a small note, “Hand this to them if they bother to ask, please.”

She takes it from you, and you head out of the apartment right after that. On the way to the elevator, you rub your stomach slightly, trying to feel a difference. Of course there is none, but it’s still crazy to think about.

You take the elevator down to some random floor you haven’t been to yet, and just go with it. You wander the twisting halls, noticing when you end up in the same place again. Sometimes you’ll catch conversation on the arena, and when you wander around the corner, you can see it’s Capitol citizens.

They don’t realize it’s you at first, but soon enough they’re heading over to talk. The first things out of their mouths are an apology, and how much they regret the games now. You tell them it’s too late, because it is. You know that they’re only regretting it because Katniss is supposedly pregnant.

You wonder if you should have come clean with everyone you could tell, instead of keeping it to yourself. Have them tell all the people around them to keep the information spreading. Soon, the whole Capitol and some districts back home would have known, and maybe it would have been enough to stop this.

Or, it could have completely backfired in your face. You take the picture with the citizens before you leave, and make them promise that they’ll try to sponsor you and the other careers in the arena. Before they can ask what your plan is, you leave them, take the elevator to a new floor, and start over.

This time, you’re careful to avoid people. You don’t want conversation, you want time to yourself. You could have easily had that inside of the apartment, but it feels good to stretch your legs and see something new. The calm before the storm, a lot of calm.

Even as you try to avoid people, the peacekeepers are inevitable. You take advantage of them, asking them when you will have to leave the building for the hovercraft. It starts off with an hour, and then the time really starts to tick down. You realize you should get back to the apartment to say your goodbyes now, but you ignore that thought.

Another half hour of walking around passes. At some point, you sit on the ground for a few minutes, just to give yourself a break. You take a breather then, telling yourself that you’ll get up and continue going on in a moment. But one minute turns to five, and you lose the will to get off of the floor altogether.

You start to think about the baby again while you’re sitting on the floor. All the things you’d like to do with them if you make it out of this alive. Teach them the traditions of District Four, introduce them to their dad. Show your siblings that they’re uncles and aunt.

With little to no struggle, you get off of the floor and begin your way to the doctors place. Down the elevator once again, you don’t mess around. You begin to regret wasting so much time walking around on the floor when you could have been getting every ounce of information possible out of the doctor.

When you enter the room, the nurse that you made friends with, looks up almost bored. And then, she sits up taller, “(Y/n)! Everything okay?”

“Yes,” you tell ehr, “But I have a question.”

She leans forward, “What’s that?”

“Is it possible to figure out the baby’s gender? You told me I’m at three-four months, right? They should be developed enough by now?”

She checks her watch, making sure she has enough time, “I can definitely do that for you. Come on back.”

The nurse brings you into the room where the doctor is. This place is like a nurses office from school. They have the main room, and then two others attached. One being a privacy room, and the other being where they keep medical things, you assume. Defibrillator, heart monitor, some medication, maybe.

The doctor is confused at first to see you back, but the nurse explains the entire situation. They’re quick on their feet, saying that you have a little less than twenty minutes going on. You came in with plenty of time to spare.

They get you to lay down, they bring the ultrasound monitor, the gel isn’t as bad as they say it is, and soon you’re hearing a heartbeat.

You clamp down on your lip to not cry.

“Finnick still doesn’t know?” she asks.

“No.” you tell her, “I didn’t even see him this morning anyway, so it wouldn’t have mattered.”

She moves the device around, her eyes trained on the screen. You’re fixated too, mainly because you’re seeing your baby right now. To think that in the future, you’ll be able to tell them that they have been in the hunger games, they just weren’t born yet.

The doctor sighs fondly, freezing the device where it is, and looking at you, “Congrats, it’s a boy.”

You can’t help the small smile that comes over your face, “Is there any way I could get a picture?”

“Yeah!” and then you wait for her to do her thing. You lay your head down, staring at the ceiling, trying to keep back the tears, but it’s too late.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her, “It’s so pathetic.”

“You didn’t know.” She tells you, “It’s easy to overlook it, I’m sure you were stressed.”

You were, “How much time do I have left?”

She looks at the time on the tablet she has nearby, “Ten minutes or so now.”

“Okay,” you laugh, watching as she wipes off the gel with a towel, and then she hands over the pictures. You hold onto them tightly, staring down at them because they the most important thing in the world.

She lends a pen to you, and on the back on the pictures, you write lightly.

‘Finnick,’ you start, breathing in rigidly, ‘if you get this, then that means that I haven’t been picked up. It’s okay, my love, don’t blame yourself. I knew that this would happen, which is why I took the chance with my plan. I know it was a dumb thing to do, especially since I’m pregnant, but I still wanted to be the one to look after you. Since I still owe you for all those years of you staying in the Capitol. I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you in person, and please don’t go blaming Haymitch either, I gave him these pictures just before the games. It’s a boy, Finnick. He’s going to look so much like you. I love you, no matter what.’

Then, you tell the doctor you have to be off. You wave the pictures slightly on your way to the elevator, hoping that it’ll get rid of the sticky effect of the front. In the elevator, you test it out slightly, and when you decide that it’s good enough, you fold the pictures. First, the ends in, and then in half. Just to make sure that no one can see it.

Your writing is the first thing that’s seen, and that’s fine. You don’t care if anyone else reads it, life’s too short for that.

The elevator stops on the twelfth floor, and you jog your way to the tribute’s apartment. You hesitate for a second, knowing you’re probably ruining a moment, but you knock anyway. It’s a moment before the door opens, and when it does, you’re met with the district representative.

“May I speak with Haymitch, please?” you ask softly.

You’re sure she only says yes because of your politeness. You don’t bother to peak in, Haymitch shows up at the door a couple of seconds later. You do see Katniss and Peeta looking over curiously though.

“Give these to Finnick if you’re not able to get me.” you hand them over, and Haymitch looks over it curiously, “You can look,” and while he opens it up, you continue, “Wait until he’s in a safe place, a private room preferably. I don’t want him breaking down in front of everyone. And then wait a while before checking in on him.”

Haymitch doesn’t know what to say at first, “These are real?”

“Yes,” you tell him, “refold them how I had them, and then keep them someplace safe. You’re the only person outside the gamemakers, and Snow that know. I found out the first two days in.”

“We need to head out!” the rep tells Haymitch, getting impatient now.

Haymitch refolds them, and then tucks them into a pocket on the inside of his jacket, “I’ll do my best to get him out, (Y/n).”

“He’s first priority.” you tell him, opening your arms for a hug, Haymitch squeezes you tightly, “And please, please don’t let him blame himself. Tell him my plan when he’s ready.”

When Haymitch lets go, he nods, “Good luck in there.”

“I’ll be doing my best.” you tell Haymitch, and then you head off to the elevator.

The second that you get inside, your hands start shaking uncontrollably. No matter how hard you try to calm yourself down, it seems to make it worse. So you let the tears come in the short time span you can afford them, and then you wipe it all away after. You fan your face and squish it and even force a laugh on your way out of the elevator.

In the hallway waits Elysia, Finnick and Mags. Clearly unhappy that your arrival has been so late.

“What were you doing?” Elysia is snappy.

“Maybe you should have asked the avox, she would have handed you a note.” you tell them, holding the elevator, “Are we leaving or not?”

You guys all leave together, getting to where the hovercraft is. Except, you all break off at some point. Elysia can’t come past a certain point, and it’s only a little further when Mags can’t go either. She hugs the both of you, but lingers on Finnick longer. Because of this, you’re still when she does end up putting her arms around you.

You thank her for helping you through your games, and then you leave for Laurel after that, not sparing Finnick a single glance as you go. Down the hall, you see Laurel, and she sees you off to your hovercraft, telling you that she’ll be in the halls waiting for you.

The hovercraft isn’t necessarily hovering, it’s on the ground. Normally they’ll send down a ladder while it’s in the air, you’ll step on, they’ll send electricity through it to freeze you and keep you from jumping off, and then pull you up. But they don’t do that this year, and you can only assume it’s because you’re pregnant.

You’re soon inside and sitting with the other district girls. You’re a little surprised at first to see that there aren’t any boys, since they normally differentiate with genders a little bit. But you suppose they’ve switched things up entirely this year. The medical staff inside go around with the injectors, stuffing needles into forearms and pushing in the trackers.

The woman comes around to you, and you hold out your right arm without a second thought. Then, you laugh, “Funny how the first time it was in my left arm. Wonder if it’s still there.”

The woman doesn’t find it as funny, and that’s fine with you, they all have bland humor anyway. She warns you before she pushes the needle in, and you don’t even flinch when it happens. She pulls it out, the tracker beeps, and then she moves on to the next opinion.

The ride over to the arena is short, and you decide to spend the entire time over there, thinking of baby names. Making yourself feel worse about what’s happening. You like the name ‘Finn’, for obvious reasons, but you could never name a baby that close to Finnick’s name. Not only because that’s your nickname for Finnick, but because they’ll get confused all the time.

There is one thing you know that you want for sure; to have the name relate back to District Four. No matter what happens, even if the rebellion falls through, District Four is your home. They could tear apart the Capitol to make it appealing to the district citizens, but you would never take the bait.

You grew up with the ocean. You grew up on the water, in a boat. You learned how to tie knots and fish. You had some of your greatest memories on a boy, and even as you got older, you never complained about wanting to be on land.

The ocean is a vast thing, but it’s beautiful. It holds promise, it’s never ending. You would do anything to even live on the water. You’ve heard people talk about houseboats before, and you gushed whenever you had the chance to cut in.

You’re thankful that you don’t get seasick, you have a strong stomach when it comes to the waves. Which is one of the first reasons why you think it’s a good idea. Because you’re not going to regret it later on.

Soon, you’re where you need to be, above the tunnels. You can’t help the ladder thing now. They freeze you in place, lowering you in, and then they release you. The other girls follow after, but you’re not sticking around.

Laurel takes you to where your pod will be. You can feel the anticipation building in your stomach now. Like a ton of butterflies have suddenly been released. And it’s now, when you can confidently say that the medication is in full swing. You’re not lightheaded or dizzy. Even if your heart is beating a thousand times a second.

Inside of the room, she shuts the door. Then, she hands you a plate of food and water, “Don’t make yourself sick.”

“I won’t.” You tell her, eating slowly. You drink the water plentifully, and she refills it quickly.

You can hunt inside of the arena, so you’re not too bothered by that. You could starve for a couple of days and turn out fine. Water on the other hand, is very important. They’ll likely have a water source around, like they do every year. This is mainly because one year, a long time ago, the arena was a desert. All the tributes had died off slowly, due to dehydration.

It’s the last thing you would want. Since the water sources can be hard to find at first, if you’re not familiar with your surroundings. After everything gets started inside of the arena, you’ll have to try and convince your alliance to get water.

“Thank you,” you say, “For everything.”

“I’ll be rooting for you,” she tells you, “And you’re welcome.”

There’s no advice she can give you now. Once you're done eating, she then helps you into your outfit for the arena. And the fact that it’s more or less of a wetsuit, makes you nervous.

“A jungle, maybe.” Laurel suggests, “This is supposed to help with humidity. Won’t be worth much in the night time, you might end up getting cold from how breezy it is.”

You put your boots on with ease, and spend the last few minutes kicking them around. You slam your toes into the concrete, and then the backs of the shoe too. Then the sides, and repeat. You’re trying to make them comfortable. They’re tight around the calves for a reason though, probably to keep them on better.

And then the god forsaken voice comes over the intercom. You and Laurel lock eyes, and when the voice is done telling you that there’s a minute left, you hug her. She holds onto you tightly, and before she forgets, she pulls out your wedding ring.

You slide it on to your left ring finger, where it belongs.

Laurel makes some last touches. Readjusting where things are supposed to be. Then the thirty second warning is announced.

“Hopefully, I’ll be seeing you on the other side.” You tell her, she laughs slightly.

“Continue being stubborn and you might just make it out.” She tries to joke, but Laurel seems grave, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’m not dead yet.” You remind her, “Don’t think like that, don’t jinx me.”

She smiles, “I’ll be sending you gifts, even if you don’t deserve it.”

You go ahead and step into the glass pod, “I’ll be waiting, then. Make sure they’re expensive.”

Just before it shuts, she says, “Anything for you.”

The countdown begins as you’re sent up. A faint feeling of claustrophobia kicks in, but it’s gone as fast as it came. Especially when a familiar smell takes over your nose. Almost enough to knock the wind out of you immediately. The one thing you still dream about at night.

The salt of the sea.

-- Chapter Nine --

The sun is blinding at first, taking away your eyesight, but it doesn’t stop you from smelling the salt, and hearing the sound of birds chirping nearby. You blink quickly, holding out your hands to steady yourself, you can’t accidentally fall off this podium, you’ll be exploded into a million bits.

You get your eyesight back quickly, and you almost instantly freeze.

It’s a jungle alright. There’s very healthy, green vegetation. It’s already hot in here, and that can be because of the sun, or because of the terrain that you’re about to be in for the next couple of weeks. However, the trees and wildlife that live in them, isn’t the most important thing here.

In the middle is the cornucopia, but what separates you and it, is a vast amount of water. When you look behind yourself, you see that it spreads all the way out to the beach. But you don’t have to swim, there’s a path of rocks off to your left and right. However, the problem is that you’re not the only one in this slice of water, there’s a tribute off to your right.

You look at him, and the both of you lock eyes. You’re not normally territorial, but just the thought of him hitting the rocks before you, is a little annoying. You’re a fast swimmer, no matter the circumstances, but that won’t stop him from him jumping at you as soon as the gong sounds.

Things could go two ways right now. He could go for the rocks off to his right, and leave you alone and try to head to the middle or retreat off to the trees. The rocks do lead all the way to the beach, it’s a fast escape if you don’t want to be caught in the crossfire of the bloodbath.

Or, he can jump at you. You could try and dive away from him, but for all you know, he has a strong jump, and could get to you easily. The only way to eliminate this problem, would be to go after him instead. And with the way he’s eyeing you, you might just have to make him your first kill.

You look around a little more, noticing that the time is starting to count down already, making it’s ticking noise as it goes down. You can see Cashmere is placed right next to Katniss, and on the other side of the rocks, is Brutus. She’s been purposely placed there to put her at a disadvantage, there’s not much you can do for her now. She’s pretty far away from you.

All you can do is hope that she’s a fast swimmer, and she can run faster than they can. You don’t focus on that too much, you spot Enobaria and Gloss, somewhat close to each other. Your eyes flicker up to see that there’s less than five seconds left.

You prepare your body, taking one final sweep of who’s nearby, and that’s when you see Peeta. He’s not next to anyone prominently dangerous like the careers, so he should be able to take care of himself. He’s going to need to learn how to take care of himself anyway, with that twelve on his head.

The gong sounds before you know it, you’re throwing yourself off of the pedestal. Instead of going away from the guy next to you--who you recognize now as the male morphling from District Six--you go towards him. Which completely ruins his plan, because he was clearly expecting you to go away from him.

Your body slams into his purposely. You make sure your shoulder is the first thing that hits his chest, getting rid of all the air in his lungs. You take in a deep breath before going under the water.

Opening your eyes, it stings a little bit from the salt, but you blink away the pain. He clearly hadn’t been expecting this, now that he’s under you and all. But you wrap your arms around his chest, locking his arms to the sides. You cross your arms in an ‘x’ motion, and then you wrap your legs around his.

And with all the power in your body, you clench your teeth tightly, and squeeze your arms as hard as you can. It’s a moment of shock from him, and when you’re not getting the results you want, you yank your body back a little bit while you’re squeezing.

A flurry of bubbles suddenly come from his mouth all at once. You keep pulling, knowing that this isn’t the end, there’s more to come from him. And you’re right, because he takes in a mouth full of water. Realizing his mistake, he begins to thrash, but there’s no use for it. His arms are by his sides, his legs are locked in place thanks to you. And you’re behind him, so he can’t just bite you or anything.

He does try to throw his head back, but you’re smarter than that. The more he struggles, the more he takes in water. You guys are sinking pretty quickly, but you take your time, letting him get all of it out. It’s a few more seconds of agony until he stops. Only then do you let go.

There’s still a fight in him, he was trying to decieve you, but there’s nothing he can do now. You’re surprised he isn’t passed out by now. Ending it all for him, you place one hand on the under part of his jaw, and the other on the side of his face. Then, you twist quickly, breaking his neck.

After that, you kick your legs immediately, using your arms too. The surface isn’t that far off, you’ve gone deeper before. You’ve been through worse scenarios. Being in the deep part of the water is the least of your worries.

Your right hand is out of the water before your head is. You use this as motivation, kicking your legs a little harder, pushing yourself. When your head breaks through, you take in a huge gasp of air, trying to settle out your lungs. You take a moment to get used to your surroundings, afraid that you’ve gotten turned around.

Your back is to the cornucopia now, and you twist your body so that you’re facing towards it. Then, another look to your right, still worried about Peeta. This is when you can see that Finnick and Katniss are standing there, helping Peeta up onto the rocks. He catches you, and sputters to tell the other two that you’re there.

You turn, swimming away from them, trying to get to the rocks before any of them have a bright idea to throw or shoot something at you, “(Y/n)!”

It’s Finnick, but you don’t listen. Your hands touch the rocks, and it’s a hot burning sensation. They’ve been sitting in the sun all day, and since they’re black, they absorb the heat a lot better. Despite this, you push yourself up onto the rocks, taking your time with getting up. Your eyes go to Finnick to see him motioning for you to go to him.

In this time, you can see the glint of gold on his wrist, his token. You shake your head at him, “No.”

And then you turn towards the cornucopia to see the rest of the careers there. You start jogging away from Finnick, and even though he’s yelling, an arrow whistles behind you. A very close call, your eyes widen considerably, and being careful with where you step, you run a little faster.

There’s no more arrows, it was a warning shot though. Telling you to keep away from them. But Katniss and Peeta have to be so confused with what’s going on. You went and saw Haymitch earlier today, and they know this. Though, you’re not making any attempt to try and make yourself an ally of theirs.

She might just think you’re feeding information to the careers. She’ll end up telling Finnick something, if she ends up trusting him later. Tell him that you had seen Haymitch earlier, or she’ll probably end up keeping it to herself. You saw inside of the training center that her and Finnick didn’t get along very well.

In the middle, you’re greeted with Cashmere holding out a spear for you. You take it, thanking her.

“I’m impressed,” she tells you, you five stand there, staring at Finnick, Katniss and Peeta’s retreating figures, running along the rocks for the trees. It’s a good thing that they had gotten something from here, they’ll need it to defend themselves against anything that might be out there, mainly mutts, “Thought you were going to turn on us for a moment.”

“I’m smarter than that, thanks.” you shake your head at her, a little smile on your face.

You guys can hear the sound of feet, which causes all of you to turn back to the cornucopia. It’s time for the real bloodbath. There’s only one body sitting out here, and it’s the guy from five. As you go by his body, you can see the three puncture wounds, it’s a kill from Finnick undoubtedly.

A cannon goes off, and it’s not because of any of you guys. You’re just beginning to see people come into the middle. It has to be from someone that ran, or maybe Katniss or Finnick.

You swing around the spear slightly, getting used to the metal feeling of it again. It’s still heavy, even if it’s hollow in the middle. The ones back home are mainly wood with metal on the tip. Homemade, mostly. You guys are rich enough to buy from the Capitol--or rather the districts nearby--but would rather choose to have something homemade. Or not expensive.

Cashmere heads for the actual cornucopia, leaving you four to handle the people coming on. They come one at a time, some holding weapons from the displays that are littered around. Others come with nothing, hoping for something from the actual cornucopia. A specialized weapon maybe, like a trident, spear, knives, bow. Rather than the swords that are offered up. It’s as rare as the flu, which is not at all.

Enobaria starts running at someone, the same time as Brutus does. You swing the spear in your hand again, trying to get a feel for it still. But you’re out of time, so you shove the weapon in one of the displays and pull out a sword instead. They’re much easier to use in this sense, and they’re not too far off from machete’s.

You swing the sword now, and it’s always like it was meant to be for you. A cannon goes off, and you look over to make sure that it’s none of the careers. You wouldn’t mind having them killed, but you’d rather keep a count of everyone that goes down. And this time, it’s a girl that goes down thanks to Brutus, “Nine.”

You start to recognize the faces now. With Enobaria is Cecelia, and she has a sword in her hands. But she’s not trained in it like you guys are. You wish she would have just ran, because there’s no way you can save her now. Enobaria catches Cecelia at the tip of her sword, and Cecelia falls.

There’s a feeling of danger that spikes through you, so you swing the sword in your hand. You know that it can’t be any of the careers, because they’re all occupied with someone, and you had just been looking at them. By the time your head has turned to see who it is exactly you’ve just swung the sword at, the person is already decapitated.

You stumble back slightly, a startled scream leaving you. You catch yourself before you fall, but your eyes are glued on who it is you just killed. Her body falls to the rocks like deadweight. It’s not graceful, it’s not pretty. The blood flies through the air, and lands where it needs to. Her head rolls slightly.

You press your first to your mouth when you realize who it is. The woman from ten has just suffered the same fate as the girl you killed in the cornucopia back during your games. Both times you’ve swung impulsively, out of fear that you would be the one killed first.

You hate parallels. You hate them all.

“Are you alright?” Gloss asks, holding onto your elbow to steady you.

Your mouth hangs open slightly as you try to find the words to tell him that you’re fine. But your mind is dragging you back ten years, wanting you to see how disgusting you are. You could be in the jungle right now, running with Finnick, you would only have one kill on your hands, but now you have two.

You’re still a murderer.

He doesn’t wait long, and moves on quickly. You hold yourself where you are, because you have to look to Cecelia, even though your mind is in a completely different place right now. Her dead body’s eyes are locked on you, she’s long gone, the cannon must have gone off while you were worried about the girl from ten.

It’s like she had looked to you for help just before she died. Only to see that you’re amongst your enemies, that you’re working against all of them. You were the one to recruit her to that alliance, and now you’re on the other side.

How can you live with yourself?

Another cannon goes off, you look to see who it is now, and it’s Seeder. She’s facing the other way, thankfully. You don’t know if you can handle another person staring at you.

Gloss moves to help you, and you let him. All five of you gather inside of the mouth of the cornucopia. Cashmere is digging through backpacks and some of the boxes. While the others grab a hold of a weapon of their choosing. You know that you should probably go and grab your spear, but make no move to do it.

“Got the girl from nine.” Brutus tells you guys.

“Cecelia.” Enobaria looks distracted, digging through backpacks too.

You sit on one of the boxes, “Male morphling and the girl from ten.”

You remind yourself that it was out of self-defense. That you’ve gotten no pleasure from killing either of them. Had you not killed the male morphling, then you would have been dead right now. Or the girl from ten, she was clearly coming after you, and you did what you had to. You’re doing what you have to, not what you want to.

“No one.” Cashmere snickers, a few of the others join in and you force a smile.

“I got Seeder.”

“We should probably get our stuff and go.” Cashmere says, pausing for a moment to look at you guys for input.

“Head for Katniss and them?” Brutus suggests.

This is what you’re here for, “Don’t you think we should save them for last?” they look at you now, “I’m not just saying that because Finnick is with them. We should let them run, think that we’ll go after them first and hunt down everyone else instead.”

Enobaria nods along, “Smart.”

“I did stab Beetee when he was back here.” Gloss motions, “Johanna dragged him out.”

“Yeah, I think I saw that.” Enobaria nods, “With her district mate and the crazy chick. Beetee was bleeding like hell though.”

You shrug, “So we let nature take its course, or we could speed it up a little bit.”

“There are others besides them too,” Cashmere says, “Literally all of the outsiders too. Finding the girl morphling might be smart, she’ll try to hide until the end of games and win again.”

You shrug, “We can always try for all of them.”

They all agree that they’re good with that idea. You dismiss yourself for a moment while they sort of the supplies. They’re going to try to keep it all to one backpack so you’re not all carrying one separately. There’s no reason for five people to be hovering and picking out things as the time goes on.

Instead, you go ahead and throw the sword into the water, watching as it spins in the air, and then falls. The water swallows it, and lets it sink. You grab the spear that you had been given originally, and carry it with one hand as you head over to Cecelia. Her dead eyes are locked on you as you approach.

There has to be so many eyes on you right now. The careers are always the pack that’s promoted the most, because you guys are most likely to win. And since they’re all inside sorting out the boring shit, you’re the only source of entertainment they have right now.

You’re about to show your true colors.

You close Cecelias eyes, and bend down far enough to kiss her forehead softly. No tears threaten to pour from your eyes, but you do frown at the passing of your best friend. You then sit with her for a second, staring off into the trees with a tilted head, feeling out of it again.

There are many parallels that you have tolerated up until now. The reaping mornings, volunteering and standing there for everyone to see. You could deal with sitting down to watch the tributes get introduced for the first time, and dealing with the mornings on the train.

Arriving at the Capitol train station, getting ripped apart by your prep team, and seeing Laurel again in that setting. Having your outfit introduced and standing on that chariot as Capitol citizens screamed your name because they were happy to see you again. And what came after, all those days up until the training.

You could honestly care less that you’ve just teamed up with the careers again, that you’re the one that’s sticking with them as you did the first time around. You know that Finnick has had no loyalty to these guys, it’s not like he’s betraying you and running off with Katniss, it’s the other way around. You’re the one leaving him this time.

And you can’t be mad because of it, because it was your choice. You’re doing what you have to, to survive. It’s not pretty by any means, and it’s not the smartest move. They’re like a pack of wolves, they’ve known each other for a long time. And you might have introduced yourself to them before hand, but you guys had a falling out.

You were pretty surprised when Gloss had approached you like that in the training center. That he was so quick to offer you an alliance, almost like he wants to continue pulling you from Finnick. Even after all these years, even after your wedding, it seems like Gloss can’t come to terms with the fact that you’re not interested, and you’ve never been.

Then again, it could have been Cashmere’s idea to invite you to the alliance. You and her were pretty close for a while, she knows how you think about things. You learn quickly, you process things faster a little more than they do. You act on instinct, clearly. You’re more of a shoot first, ask questions later type of person.

Merciless is how they used to describe you sometimes. When you have your mind set on something, you do almost anything you can to have it go your way. Like Annie and Paslee, you were so dead set on getting one of them to win, that you had left them to make sure Finnick would stay. You sacrificed thousands of dollars, not even sure if the pills would work.

They were smart to invite you, but they hadn’t thought everything through. You might act mad, and cold towards Finnick, but you’ll always have an underlying motive. It was for the betterment of Finnick. He would have tried to see you, sneak away or something and it’s not what you need.

If you act cold, then there is no warmth, right? You don’t give him a reason to think that you want him around, and he won’t want to. He’ll get irritated, and rather be alone with other people. He’ll throw himself at his own goals, and that’s Katniss and Peeta right now.

You were right to tell Haymitch of your plan, and not anyone else. You trust Haymitch with more than you probably should, and you know this. But he also knows that you are throwing everything you have in right now. If Finnick is where he needs to be, next to Katniss or Peeta or whatever when the time comes, Haymitch will pick him up. And he’ll do it for you.

Anyway, back to the parallels, killing the woman from District Ten has thrown you off completely. You weren’t prepared to see her, you were expacting literally anyone else. You were just hoping it wasn’t someone like Cecelia or Seeder. You just didn’t want it to be someone part of the alliance that’s trying to save Katniss.

You wish all these people had, had half the brain to know that they shouldn’t have come to the cornucopia. They’re victors, they know what entails in the bloodbath. Even if you’re running at the careers all at once, you’re going to get knocked down. You guys are way more prepared than your regular person.

Hell, just look at Gloss and Brutus! Brutus had volunteered for this willingly, and there’s no secret on why. He’s gigantic, he’s been training just as hard as you have these last few months. You’re sure Enobaria and Cashmere have been doing the same, but muscles on girls just don’t show up the same like they do on guys.

You look over to Cecelia again, she’s relaxed, all of her muscles are soft. She doesn’t have a care in the world anymore. She doesn’t have to worry about how to survive anymore, her fight is over. It’s painful for her kids and her husband, you know it. But it’s better this way, she didn’t die too painfully, it seems like Enobaria had been merciful.

There’s blood around her body of course, it runs between the rocks down the slope and into the water in front of you. She’s not bleeding as heavily anymore, but you’re sure that before the water had been a cloudy brown from the amount of blood that was running.

“We should probably get going.” Gloss tells you.

“Yeah,” you sigh, pressing your hand to Cecelia’s forehead, “I’m sorry, friend.”

You push yourself up after that, letting Brutus lead the way. Enobaria offers an apology, but you tell her that it’s the hunger games. It’s kill or be killed, Cecelia is in a better place. She won’t have to suffer through these next few weeks like the rest of you will have to.

One at a time, you take the rock path to the trees in the general direction that the people like the morphling had run. In front leads Brutus, then Enobaria and Cashmere, Gloss had fought you for the very back, but you insisted that you’d be able to take care of yourself if anyone were to sneak up.

No one will, you just wanted to look at the cornucopia for a final time. See the bodies of people you had once considered your friend. You’re glad that you haven’t become a traitor to them, that none of them had died by your hands. And if you can help it, you’re going to keep it that way.

The hovercraft comes as soon as you guys are gone. That’s also when the cannons go off too to signify how many people had died in total. They might have done a few cannons already, but they’ll do it all over again to make sure that everyone knows. The bloodbath cannons can be confusing.

You count them in your head as they go, and it comes out to be seven. Seven people in total during that short timespan, had died. Two of them being by you, and one presumably by Finnick. You hope that he’s holding up better than you are, and he hasn’t begun to slip back into his mind.

You fidget with your ring nervously, mostly following behind everyone. They’ll talk to each other, and every now and then you’ll insert some sort of input to keep them from actively starting a conversation with you. You mostly just want to be left alone right now.

You kinda just wanna run away from them. Away from Finnick, the Capitol, the districts, the cameras. You just want to sit somewhere private for however long it takes until you can get a grip on your mind again. Because it’s run, and you just wanna follow behind it. Cradling it between your hands and singing it a lullaby.

This must be how Annie felt when Paslee had been decapitated right in front of her. She hadn’t seen it coming at all, and it scared her so badly that it sent her in a spiral. Her mind ran likes yours is now. And she hasn’t had a grip on it since.

You hate to say it, but you don’t want to end up like Annie.

At some point, they think they’ve found tracks, so you all split up into groups. You volunteer to go alone, since it will give you time to think, and they allow this to happen. Enobaria goes with Brutus, and Cashmere with Gloss, respectively.

You step over everything carefully, being sure to make sure that no one is blending in with the trees or the bushes. You wonder how Blaire was able to do it in that woods arena, since it was just trees. The bushes were thin and easily see-through. He wouldn’t have lasted a second had the other tributes seen him.

You think about Blaire everyday, unfortunately. He’s always there in the back of your mind, and sometimes you have dreams about him. They’re so spread out, that when you do have them, your first worry is if he’s been fed, if he’s been fishing like you had taught him. And then when you do get to him, he’s fully fed and welcomes you back.

He normally shows up on nights when things have been particularly hard. You thank him for saving you every single time, and he tells you that he’s sick of hearing it. You and Blaire will sit there in silence for forever, unless there's something important that’s happened that you feel obligated to tell him.

Blaire showed up the night before your wedding and you told him all about it. All of this might seem crazy, but surviving the hunger games was nuts. You were left with basically nothing after. You have this gnarly scar on your back, you used to get flashbacks of killing someone while you were making dinner. Nightmares were a constant.

Blaire showing up in your dreams is nothing compared to all of that. An old friend, even though he had been seen as an inconvenience at first, he’s not anymore. You’re glad that you hadn’t turned out to be the one to kill him in the end. That someone else had done it for you, and it was a person that you could get revenge on.

You killed Lennox for both you and him. Because you owed him your life.

The sun starts to fall quickly, and somewhere during that time, you’ve met up with the careers again. You all are on the same page with finding no one, and decide that you might as well spend the night in the cornucopia. Classic careers, stabilizing the middle because it’s the only thing that keeps them alive.

You’re glad that old habits die hard.

Gloss and Cashmere offer up fresh water that they had found while exploring. You all get your own canteen, and you drink your water slowly. You make sure to put a little more iodine in the water before you start, though. Gloss had tried to assure you that they’d done it already, but you tell him that one round of Typhoid is enough to make you careful for the rest of your life.

You start a fire for them, Enobaria gathers more dry wood, Brutus skins a rabbit, and Cashmere and Gloss tell genuine funny stories to ease up the tension between you guys. Sometime during this, you finish your water, and go ahead and grab more for everyone while you’re at it.

When you return, the food’s done and they’ve left plenty for you. As you eat, you notice how they’re not afraid to get loud. Cashmere has a constant smile on her face, and Brutus tries not to look amused when he really is. The corners of his mouth will turn upright at a funny part, but he’ll shake his head and look down to keep the brooding act up.

Enobaria competes with stories, and Gloss tries to embarass Cashmere the best he can. It’s during all this, when you tell yourself that you’ve always gotten along with these four. You could butt in at any time, and they would gladly shut up to get some of your stories too. You all come from different districts, different experiences and you guys know none of the same people. And despite all of that, you click together so easily.

Some of the stories you’ve heard before from them, but you guess that they’re telling them again for the sake of the Capitol or their friends and family back home. When they’re tired of it though, they ask you for some of yours, knowing that they’re just as good.

You try your best, telling them the little things like when you had been reaped in your first games. You tell them that you had wanted to run so badly, but figured that you would get caught. None of them can relate to this, since they were either picked or volunteered for their roles, and you bash on that a little bit to get a few laughs from them.

Sometime while you’re eating, the anthem starts, making all of you guys look up. This is when you’re able to see that they’re starting the memorium for those who have fallen. You all shush each other, Gloss pushes Brutus slightly to get him to quiet down, and before Brutus can retaliate, Enobaria steps in and places her hand against Brutus’ chest.

The fallen tributes start, beginning with District Five. It’s obvious that the careers and yourself aren’t dead, but it’s nice to know that Wiress, Beetee and Finnick are safe too. The next after that is the male morphling from District Six. You drop your gaze until he’s gone, trying to tell yourself that it was self-defense.

Next is Woof, following shortly is Cecelia, they’re from District Eight. An entire district has been wiped out of the games already, and it’s only been the first day. You hadn’t even got to see Woof at all. Next is the male from District Nine, he wasn’t at the cornucopia, so you wonder if Peeta did end up killing him after all. The girl from nine also shows up, so that’s a second district wiped out.

You’re not prepared for it. To see the girl from ten, so the moment she pops up, you’ve hidden your face in your hands. You press the heel of your hands against your eyes until you see stars, trying to erase the image before it’s burnt in. A hand rubs your back slightly, and Cashmere tells you that it’s her.

“She’s gone.” Cashmere tells you, stopping. You remove your hands, glad to see a different face, but it’s not much better to see Seeder up there.

The anthem closes out slowly, the sky going dark again.

Eventually, the fire starts to get low, and you guys agree to get back to the middle. Sometime on the way back, Enobaria says that there’s no way that you’re allowed to keep watch over them in the night time.

“And why not?” Gloss asks.

You drink some more water, smiling to yourself because you know the exact reason why. Enobaria gives you one look, and she starts laughing when she sees your face.

“Come on, guys! She killed like two careers this way!”

You hold your finger up while you swallow your water, shaking your head. You’ve caught the attention of the others.

“No, on the first night of the games, I was up when muttations came. I killed her out of mercy so she wouldn’t suffer.” You put the cap back on the canteen, “However, I will admit that I did kill another career when he was sleeping, but that was because he was giving me the evil eye whenever we were all together.”

“See!” Enobaria motions, the others laugh slightly.

“I was afraid he was onto me!” You defend, “He had to go.”

“Well, I guess she is out of the picture.” Brutus agrees.

“I’ll take watch.” Gloss offers, “No big deal to me.”

Everyone settles in their spots inside of the cornucopia. Gloss sits at the mouth of it so he can be the first to be attacked if someone does end up sneaking up here with you guys.

While everyone else is trying to fall asleep, you spend the time digging through some of the boxes, curious on what they’d have to offer you guys in an arena like this. It’s mostly things to hold water, and start fires. In the back, there’s a coil of wire that you recognize. You tuck it a little farther back, knowing that it’s meant for district three.

It’s not hidden by any means, he’ll be able to find it, you’ve just moved it so the careers won't have the bright idea to throw it in the water so he can’t get it. You can imagine this is why Beetee was here in the first place. He killed plenty of people with the wire when he won his games, he might have been thinking that he would be able to do it again.

You’re starting to get tired of digging through them, when a certain orange bottle catches your eye. You drop everything that you’re holding instantly, digging through the box violently. You cover the label so that only you can see it. When you’re sure that it’s the medication you need for your pregnancy, you plunge it back into the box and fight to get the sticker off of the bottle.

It takes a moment, but it comes off on one piece. You stick it to the bottom of the box, and then cover everything you can on top of it to hide it. Then, you close the box and sigh, rattling the bottle a little bit when you bring it to your chest.

Gloss looks over, squinting slightly, “What is that?”

“Remember how I told you guys I was sick?” you whisper back to him, and then you hold up the bottle, “It’s my prescription.”

“How can you tell?” he asks, turning to face you a little more.

“What the tablets look like.” you tell him, opening up the bottle.

You pour one into the center of your palm, moving it around. It’s the familiar oval shape, the same baby pink color. You put it in your mouth, then put the lid back onto the bottle before taking a drink of your water.

“I’ll be going to bed now.” you tell him, “If you get tired, I’m not opposed to taking a shift, I promise not to kill you guys.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Gloss laughs slightly, “Goodnight.”

You wave a little bit, before laying down on the sleeping bag you had found. It’s too hot to actually sleep inside of it, so you set it up as a pillow instead. You turn your back to the wall of weapons so you can face the box instead.

You might hate Snow, but he’s been very kind to you.

“Thank you.” you mouth, wondering if he’s still awake.

You don’t owe Snow a single damn thing, so this might be his way of apologizing to you. Either way, you’ll take what you can get and be graceful about it.

“Goodnight, Finnick.” you close your eyes, “Goodnight Reed, Mox and Alyssum. Sweet dreams to you all.”

-- Chapter Ten --

The sound of crashing makes you sit upright, your hand flies to where your spear sits. Your eyes widen as your head snaps to the mouth of the cornucopia. It feels like a shot of adrenaline has run through you, you don’t feel like you have just woken up at all. It feels like you’ve taken a shot of that energy supplement that Elysia used to feed you.

It seems like you’re not the only one that was woken up. Brutus is already on his feet, sword in hand as he leaves to go take a look outside with Gloss. However, Gloss looks distracted, like he’s counting something.

“I hate the gamemakers.” Cashmere complains, she looks grumpy.

“Tell me about it.” Enobaria says, “It has to be the middle of the night.”

“A night of sleep is too much to ask for. I hope they don’t do this every night.” Cashmere says back.

Brutus and Gloss come back with nothing. The gong sound has stopped, and it’s just silence. Cashmere sighs, falling back against where she was sleeping, while the rest of you sit there for a moment.

“Twelve times.” Gloss tells you guys, he goes to open his mouth, but the cornucopia shakes slightly at the strike of lightning.

You push yourself up, tired of sitting here and doing nothing. You move out there with the guys and wander around until you find the spot where the lightning is striking. And there’s absolutely no surprise when you see that it’s the biggest tree in the arena. You stand, staring at waiting for it to stop.

What’s the motive of striking a tree? Hell, why would you want to make a gong sound twelve times in the middle of the night?

Oh.

“It’s midnight.” you say, shoulders slumping, “They’re letting us know that it’s midnight.”

“And what’s the point of that?” Brutus asks.

“Fuck if I know.” you shrug, the lightning stops, and the arena returns back to it’s calm state.

Unfortunately, you’re still wide awake, and you don’t find yourself needing to lay down at all. You’ve gotten your full night of sleep already, and you’d rather sit out here on a box to make sure that no one sneaks up, than try to go back to sleep.

You look at Gloss, “My turn to watch, go to bed.”

Brutus gives you a look, “Yeah, right.”

“I could have killed Gloss while he was taking watch, if I’d wanted to.” you cross your arms, “There’s no reason why I shouldn’t.”

“Why are you so insistent?” Enobaria asks from where she’s still sitting on the ground.

You look over the three that are staring at you intently, thinking that it’s a good question and they’ve caught you, but they’re wrong. There’s several reasons why you don’t want to go back to bed.

“Well, for starters I’m not tired. I’m sure you guys don’t want to do it. And I don’t want to test my luck. I had my dreamless sleep, I’m not going to push it.” then, you move and sit on the box, leaning your spear against the wall as you cross your legs, “Go ahead, I promise I’ll wake you if there’s anything worth knowing.”

They don’t really look like they want to fight it, so they accept it. Gloss finds a spot near his sister, and Brutus resumes his spot behind a pile of boxes, much like you had done. Gloss thanks you for this, but you brush him off and stare out at the water instead.

The next hour is filled with silence. You spend the time watching the trees suspiciously, waiting for someone to come out of them. At some point, you get tired of that, so you get up and stretch your legs instead, getting a better feel for the arena. You might have just gone into the trees and wandered around there, but you didn’t see how big it actually was.

It’s huge. The arena is shaped like a bowl, the outer, and bigger part of the arena is the trees, obviously. Or rather, the jungle. The trees hold vines, there’s small ones mixed with bigger ones. They have stable branches, that anyone with a mediocre set of tree climbing skills, would be able to go up. There was one pond of water, it was small, but that was where Gloss and Cashmere had gotten the fresh water from.

The second ring is the beach, and it goes all the way around. It’s small though, only a few feet wide. You could walk from one side to the other in a couple of seconds. Finally, is the circle of water that surrounds the cornucopia. The cornucopia sits on a big rock, and there’s paths of rocks that lead out to the beach. Those paths divide the water into twelve seconds.

Which is weird for a few reasons. As you sat on that rock, you wondered if it had any connection to the fact that there’s twelve districts. You wonder why they chose to put two to every section, rather than splitting it into twenty-fourths to hold everyone. Also, the midnight thing, the twelve sections.

What have the gamemakers set up, exactly?

You get up to stretch your legs again, and while you’re up, you decide it wouldn’t hurt to take a pill again. You know that it was only a few hours ago that you took once, but you literally never know when something is going to happen. And the fact that it takes so long to take effect is the part that really gets you.

You take the pill and sit back onto the box. As you try to go back to some serene mindset, finally getting a grip on yourself again, you hear a cannon. You look to the careers first to see if any of them have jolted awake, but to them it must be background noise. No one sits up, but Brutus does end up rolling over.

You stand, confused as you move out to see where the hovercraft comes from. It’s claws lower into the trees, and pull out a single body, clearly. The body looks to be male, which sends a strike right through your chest as if you’ve been stabbed. But then again, the body is a bright red. They’re covered in blood.

That means that there has to be another death that follows, right? You stand in silence for the next few minutes, but there is nothing. A few minutes turn to ten, and then twenty, and you find yourself going to sit back onto the box again. You pick at your fingernails slightly, but stop soon enough.

It’s not Finnick, you need to calm down. Sit here and calm yourself down again.

The silence resumes, and you curl your legs under yourself to sit up a bit more. You’ve run out of positions to sit in, and to be honest, there weren’t very many to begin with. You’re just about settling into your position, leaning your head against the uneven walls as boredom finally takes over, when a single scream fills the air temporarily.

You can pinpoint where it came from exactly, it’s not too far off from here. Thanks to whoever it belonged to, Brutus sits up now.

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t from me.” you tell him, eyes still locked on where it came from. It was a girl that had screamed, which could mean plenty of things, and could belong to nearly any girl inside of here, “I think someone’s been caught.”

You and him sit together, waiting for a cannon like you had before, but there is nothing. But from the place where the scream originated from, you can see the cloudy white fog surrounding the trees. The weird thing about it, is it’s staying in it’s slice. It’s clearly gamemaker-produced, but it’s weird how it’s moving, it should be spreading throughout the trees.

“What the fuck?” you ask, watching as it continues to go down.

“Is it going to come here?” Brutus asks.

“No,” you tell him, “I don’t think so.”

Brutus sighs, and you hear him moving and then it’s quiet again. When you look, he’s turned his back to you, trying to get some more sleep. You can imagine how annoyed he is to be woken up every couple of hours. You’re just glad that it wasn’t everyone again.

You’re also surprised that he didn’t have any motive to go out there and kill the person that had screamed. You suppose this is a good thing, but it’s so out of character. He might just be tired from running around all day yesterday, as all the others are.

The careers aren’t normally used to overworking themself until they break. Which could be a good thing, you’re not supposed to work yourself until the point of exhaustion. But if you never know how it feels to run around on only three or less hours of sleep, then when the time comes, you’re not going to be prepared for it.

That makes sense, right? If you never know how it feels to be tired, and work while you are, then you won’t know how to act when you finally are. They need all their hours of sleep, while you on the other hand, are so easily ready to take what you can get and don’t complain at all. You could have gotten thirty minutes of sleep before the lightning started two hours ago, and it would have been perfectly fine to you.

You take what you can, and run with it. Then, you get some more, and run again. It’s a rinse and repeat sort of thing. If you get a full night worth of sleep, that just means you’re losing out on some time during the day. And it’s not like a full night can get you very far anyway. You get nine hours of sleep, and you can only be awake for another nine or ten hours before you’re tired again.

It’s a few hours after that, until they all start waking up, prepared for the day. The first one up is Cashmere, surprised that you haven’t dozed off at all. It’s only a few minutes later that Gloss is sitting up, disoriented and asking what time it is. The sun starts spilling into the cornucopia, and that’s when Enobaria gets up, kicking Brutus.

Cashmere and Gloss volunteer to get water for everyone, and you thank them on their way out. Enobaria remarks something about a ‘peaceful’ night, and you don’t tell her that wasn’t the case just yet. You wait until Cashmere and Gloss get back, and then you break the news that there had been a death an hour after the lightning storm.

As you’re explaining what you saw, the chiming of a sponsor gift stops you. Enobaria catches it, and you can see that it’s pretty big. Think the size of a basket. She sets it down in front of you guys, and you watch from your spot on the box as they open it up.

It’s a breakfast, filled with rolls, a stew, small thermos cups and a few other things. This is what the sponsors call a ‘care basket’ because not only does it have food inside, there’s medicine too. Something that the cornucopia doesn’t normally hold. Gloss grabs a hold of that first, and goes straight for his calf.

You remember him explaining that he had gotten shot because of Katniss. He wasn’t quick enough to dive into the water like Enobaria. You had completely missed all of this, and they were surprised. You hadn’t seen any of them reach the middle, or saw the first two deaths.

You were underwater, choking a tribute that had wanted to kill you, to death. You were under there for a while, and the water was apparently sound proof. When you came above the water, you didn’t know how much time had passed. And it’s a crazy amount of time to go without breathing, especially when they say it had to be at least three minutes.

Adrenaline, you suppose. Because the use for it isn't for fighting. It’s not a flight or fight thing, it’s more of a survival thing. Adrenaline is used to keep you alive, which is why you’re a lot stronger, and you’re awake a lot faster. Whatever you need to survive in that moment, which includes holding your breath for three minutes or more.

Another gift comes in shortly after, and this time you catch it. When you open it up, you can see that it’s directed towards you, and you’re sure to let the others know. It’s from Mags, and when you pull it out, and hold it in your palm, you’re utterly amazed.

“No fucking way.” you drop the metal onto the box, stepping away from your alliance for a moment.

The hilt of the knife is specially crafted. It’s got starfish, and barnacles and vines wrapped around it. There’s a clear place where the hand is supposed to go, and it’s made out of a pattern of waves. It’s decoration, very beautiful, handcrafted. You’ve seen these types of things on the monitor before.

It’s almost like a district token. Every district has something that represents them. Whether it be clothes, or jewels or livestock or electricity, they’re all beautiful. The knives represent what the district is about. They’re unique to every games, and normally they’re little trinkets that the Capitol citizens buy--souvenirs. They do this to show that they were loyal to a certain district throughout the games, even if their tribute hadn’t won. However, those ones are normally fake, plastic.

This is very real. The blade is sharp, and you resist the urge to test just how sharp. These things have a little trick to them, and you search for it for a long couple of seconds. You can hear Enobaria and Brutus fighting over who gets a bigger portion of the stew, when you find the button.

The blade flies out, extending into a sword, which shuts up their conversation quickly. You can’t help the smile that comes over your face as you turn the weapon over in your hand. You swing, and slice and feel the weight of it. It’s light, easily movable, and the thing is probably so damn durable. It’s portable, it’s throwable. It’s perfect.

“Thank you!” you shout, “I love it!”

You press the button again, watching as the blade retracts to its original place. After this, you go ahead and sit next to the others, thanking them for saving you some. You eat, and resume telling them what had happened in the night. They agree that if the guy that had been carried away this morning was covered in blood, that no one else had died alongside him.

Who else’s blood would that be? It couldn't be his, he was red from head to toe. And if it was someone else’s they would have died too. Something weird is going on with this arena.

It’s the Quarter Quell, so you expect it to be extravagant. But there had been so much shit that had gone on during the night, starting with the lightning.

A cannon goes off randomly while you guys are eating, and you watch as the hovercraft collects her from the water. You suggest that she drowned, but you know better. The water had been completely empty before, no one was hanging around at the beach.

At some point, they’re all ready to start getting things going. You convince them that you guys should head for the other side of the cornucopia, since you tried in front of it already. They agree, Cashmere goes to pack the things into the backpack, and you go ahead and throw the pills inside of there too, telling her that you’re not taking the chance with being sick.

After that, you all set off. Just before you get into the trees, you check to make sure that the three figures are still on the beach, and you didn’t just screw whoever it is over. But you see that the number has doubled, so you know that you can done the right thing.

You guys wander the trees aimlessly. The heat of the arena keeps you guys from actively running around. You’re already sweating like pigs, fanning yourselves with anything you can afford. You’re drinking a ton of water, and you guys are out of water before you know it. When you come upon a spring, you reload, put the iodine into the water, and then keep going.

During this, you’re messing around with the knife. You extend it into a sword at some point, and you’re swinging it at the leaves. It cuts through the thickest things with little to no problem. Eventually, you get bored of it though, worried about the blade becoming dull, so you retract the blade an hour or so later, and just spin it in your hand instead.

Gloss has the audacity to ask you if you know any tricks, and you look him straight in the eyes and tell him you know more things than his little academy has ever taught him. Not to mention, you’ve been training for today, and you let them all know that too. That when the games had been announced, you were on top of working your muscles back up, as well as Finnick.

Brutus laughs at you for letting yourself go in the first place, but that wasn’t the case. You were still strong, but why not be stronger? You brag that you could carry one of them if it came to it, and that’s when Enobaria starts to complain her feet hurt, cheekily. You take this opportunity, and carry her on your back for a good hour after.

“You really are prepared to win the games, huh?” Cashmere eyes you.

“Don’t go and betray me now.” you squint at her, “I’ve shown nothing but loyalty, especially when I could have killed you all in your sleep and none of you would have a clue.”

“The cannons would have probably set us off.” Enobaria says.

She wants to be let down, so you let her, continuing with the conversation, “Yeah, right. Come on guys, all I would have needed was four throwing knives and you could have been history.”

After that, they seem to shut up. It’s a couple of more minutes of silence, and then a scream fills the air. They go to run at it, but you grab them before they can. A sick feeling in your stomach makes you hold back from going towards where the girl had screamed.

Your gut feeling was right, because a huge tide comes out of nowhere. The water is up to your calves, and you hold onto a smaller tree, arm hooked around it. A few seconds later, a cannon goes off, and a blast of air comes out of nowhere.

“Don’t move.” you tell them, “Hold on tight.”

The water begins to break formation of the slice, spreading out a little bit. It goes straight towards the middle, and when the worst of it is gone, there’s only a tiny bit of water left over. It hits your ankles now, and it’s not powerful at all. A few more minutes, the water has run dry and the hovercraft has collected the body, a girl you’re guessing.

You guys walk around for a little bit longer. Taking a break every now and then because you’re breathing heavily. At some point Gloss gets tired of the suit so he rips it so he can let his torso breathe. You’re unsurprised when Brutus does the same, a little medical fact pops in your head at that moment. That men’s body heat tends to be a lot more than girls are. It makes them uncomfortable.

An hour or two later, there’s another lightning storm at the big tree. It’s around the same time when you’re all thinking of going back to the cornucopia. You can’t really argue, you guys have been out here for hours, you just hope that whoever was down at the beach have already visited the middle while you were gone.

Not to mention, you kinda wanna go back too. You’re starting to feel the fatigue from not sleeping, and you wouldn’t mind a nice nap right around now. It’s not from the pregnancy, that you can be sure of. You’ve never felt better. Had the medication not been in those boxes, or had you stopped digging through them like you wanted, you wouldn’t have found them at all.

And you would be tired, and nauseated, and begging to sit in the water for the entire day. You would be able to convince everyone that it’s the same symptoms of heatstroke, but you wonder how long they would have bought it for. When one day turns to five days in a row. Yeah, things would have been getting pretty fishy to you too.

You guys head up the same way you came, facing the back end of the cornucopia. It’s halfway along the rocks, when you realize that you guys aren’t alone here. You can hear the faint sound of a couple of voices.

You close your eyes for a second, damning yourself to hell for this. But it couldn’t have possibly been your fault. You gave it plenty of time, four, five--maybe even six hours. It was plenty of time for them to get in and out of there. You guess that they don’t really have a hurry to be in since it was empty.

But come on, at least Finnick had to be smarter than this. To know that the careers would definitely return, it’s where they reside. They secure the middle, and they thrive off of it. Then again, there’s always the chance that they had just gotten here, and in that case, you can’t complain. You can’t complain at all.

Suddenly, you’re all ducking down to make sure you’re not known. Cashmere takes off the backpack, and sets it in the middle of the rocks. There’s no way to avert this, you can’t convince them to turn around, because even you have to admit that this is a perfect opportunity to attack. Gloss heads in first, Cashmere right behind him, going to the left. Brutus and Enobaria follow to the right.

You follow Gloss and Cashmere, hoping that this isn’t a bad decision you’re about to make. You hold the knife in your hand tightly, finger over where the button is. As you get closer, you can make the voices more distinct, clearly hearing Peeta, Katniss and Beetee. Finnick says something quiet, but it’s all drowned out by one person. Wiress.

You get below the rocks, eyes flickering between Gloss and Cashmere, and Brutus and Enobaria. You hate watching your husband like this, with absolutely no clue that you’re here. This is why you would have been needed, because while all of them are staring at the ground, drawing out a clock, not paying attention at all. You would have been multitasking.

You ‘accidentally’ tap your knife into the rocks, hoping that they’ll hear it, but they don’t. Not even Cashmere looks at you. Gloss suddenly gets behind Wiress, pulling her head back and stabbing into her neck. It cuts off the nursery rhyme that she was singing, and it alerts the other almost instantly.

The cannon goes off, Katniss pulls an arrow from her quiver, not even giving Gloss enough time to react and get out of the way. He takes the silver arrow to his heart, that cannon goes off next. In retaliation, Cashmere jumps up, running towards them.

You stand now, mouth open as you watch Johanna shove Katniss out of the way. The axe flies from her fingers, getting Cashmere in the chest. Her cannon is instant, and since there’s so much attention where you are, eyes suddenly hit you.

Katniss raises her bow, and you push the button, watching as their faces change at the sight of the sword now. Brutus, on the other side of the cornucopia yells, throwing a sword in their direction, which takes the attention away from you immediately.

Finnick jumps to get Brutus, fighting him off with his trident. Katniss pulls an arrow from her quiver, and just because you can’t let the last two careers distrust you, you pick up the nearest knife that isn’t yours, and throw it.

It knicks Katniss’ finger, and she hisses out in pain. Johanna and Peeta look at you at the same time, and your motion is quick, a finger to your lips as you turn to run. They don’t move after you, instead going for Brutus and Enobaria, who have begun to retreat too.

You take a different rock path than they do. You head straight for the backpack, knowing that the meds you need are in there. Behind you, you can hear Johanna yelling for Katniss to stop. Just as you scoop the backpack into your arms, you can hear an arrow whistle past you.

You hit the rocks, stomach landing on the backpack, thankfully. But it doesn’t stop the rocks from being jagged. You look behind you with wide eyes to see that Johanna is holding onto Katniss’ arm. It’s also in this moment, where the middle begins to spin.

“Oh shit.” you mutter, pushing yourself up as you begin to run towards the beach, afraid that the rocks will start moving too.

It’s only a few feet of the rock that’s attach to the cornucopia. You pause for a moment to watch it spin. You notice how they hold on, and Finnick looks over his shoulder for a brief moment, and you know he sees you through the water that’s getting kicked up.

You have to keep going, especially when the weapons begin to fly into the water. You collapse the knife again, glad that you didn’t have to use it, and then you run towards Brutus and Enobaria are waiting. They help you off of the rocks, Brutus thanks you for stalling Katniss’ arrow, and you guys head back into the trees.

They still trust you, that’s all that matters. No other cannons go off, and you guys take inventory of the backpack once again, since Cashmere was the one that was keeping track of everything. You drink water, and eat as much food as you can spare, but in all honesty you’re hoping that Finnick is okay.

“I didn’t hurt him,” Brutus tells you, “It’s Enobaria you have to blame.”

“He dodged the knife just fine, if anything it’s a papercut.” Enobaria reasons, looking at you, “He’s alive, and he’s still your kill.”

You resist the shudder that wants to go through your body after that comment. The idea of killing Finnick has never crossed your mind, and it never will. You won’t put any thought to what she just said, and you might just end up killing her for it. No one kills Finnick, not even you.

You guys stay close to the trees, watching as the group stays at the beach. You all theorize on what they might be up to. Since they had come up with that clock theory, but Brutus says it can’t be anything good. Beetee has a wire that he nearly died for, and everyone knows how he won his games.

“Then we stay off the beach.” you decide for them, “And if you want, we can even hunt them down later tonight. Or wait for tomorrow.”

“We’re outnumbered.” Enobaria tries to reason.

That’s a great reason why you guys should do it. So you can watch them both get obliterated right in front of you. Then you can come clean to the others what you had been doing the entire time. Finnick will welcome you back with no problem, and Johanna seems to have caught on.

“So?” you challenge, “When has that ever stopped us?”

The argument is good enough for them.

You guys wait a while, watching them at the beach, until they eventually all go and hard up to where the big tree is. You guys don’t move from your position for a little bit, giving them a head start. You hydrate some more, refill on water, and then decide to go ahead and go and follow up.

It’s a long walk up there, hours at least. It’s only thirty minutes or so into you guys hiking up when the anthem starts for the fallen. You hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten, how the sun is falling behind the trees a lot faster now. You all take a moment to watch.

The first to appear is Cashmere, right after her is Gloss, Brutus seems to breathe through his nose a little heavier like a bull. He’s not happy that they’re gone, and you shake your head to blend in a little bit. You’re secretly so damn ecstatic that you only have two to babysit now.

They might be the most difficult to round, but they’re easy to please. You’ve already taken over the spot of leader, and they’re following behind you with no question. You don’t know if it’s because they trust you, or you are as authoritative as people say. Elysia used to say that your confidence was a little off-putting at first.

The girl from District Five shows up, following is the girl from six--the other morphling. You’re surprised to see Blight, but when Chaff follows, you’re even more confused, “Did we miss a cannon?”

“Probably some time while were eating.” Brutus says, you nod slowly.

The anthem drops off, and soon you guys go to start climbing again. You know you have a full night ahead of you, that’s nothing but exercise. You take another pill, knowing that it has been over twelve hours since the last time you took once. You trail behind Brutus and Enobaria mostly, not too interested with being on their ass the entire way up.

It gets hotter the longer you guys climb, and you watch as Enobaria pulls off her top so she’s cooled down. She sighs in relief the moment it’s off, and then offers to unzip the back of yours. You want to say no, but you end up saying yes too, because it’s so goddamn hot.

It’s a lot cooler the second the top is off. You tuck your knife into your belt that you hadn’t really realized was there, and you spend the rest of the time climbing in silence.

There’s already been what? Sixteen deaths? Eight remaining? You three, Beetee, Johanna, Peeta, Katniss and Finnick. Did you miss another death?

“Did the guy from ten die?” you whisper to them.

“Yes.” Enobaria says back to you.

You must have blanked then while you guys were eating. You hadn’t even realized that two were dead. There’s really just you guys left in here. Which is why things are suddenly so important.

The sound of two voices stop you all with no warning. You lean towards where the sound is coming, and it’s Johanna that’s speaking. You all ease out to where they’re walking down from, and Brutus has the bright idea to step on the wire. Sadistic, because it scares the absolute shit out of them.

Katniss pauses, just as Johanna does. They can’t see you guys because you’re still hidden by the trees. Katniss mutters something about it being caught, squinting her eyes. Then, Enobaria cuts it, and the wire goes flying towards them.

Just as they flinch, Enobaria and Brutus rush out of the trees. As a distraction, Johanna hurls her axe at you guys, making you all jump out of the way. A second later, Katniss’ scream fills the air, and then it’s silence.

“Where’s the cannon?”

“Fuck the cannon, go after Johanna!” Enobaria shouts.

You let them go after her first, as you go to check on Katniss. You lean over the ledge slightly, Katniss’ neck is covered in blood and you can see that her arm has been cut open. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Johanna has just cut out Katniss’ tracker.

Her eyes are wide as she stares at you, her fingers twitch towards her bow, but you shake your head, “I’m friendly, Katniss. Just checking to make sure you’re alive.”

A yell makes you turn your head, and you don’t say another word to Katniss. You get up, heading to where they all had ran off to. You drop the backpack into a place where it’ll be hidden, and it makes it ten times easier for you to climb around now.

When you get to where Johanna is, Brutus and Enobaria are standing over her.

You pull out the knife, pushing the button for the sword, and you swing with no hesitation, straight at Brutus. Enobaria, you can take in a fight, it’s Brutus that’s the real threat. The sword slices right down his back, and it’s exactly what you need at the moment.

In the distance, you can hear Finnick yelling for Johanna. Enobaria turns towards you, but you catch her sword with yours, keeping her from doing anything. Brutus falls, a cannon going off because of it. He’s dead because of Johanna.

Enobaria, seeing that you weren’t on her side, makes a run while she has the chance. You go to go after her, but it’s literally no use, it’s only you guys left. You help Johanna onto her feet, and even go as far as to wipe some of the blood off of her face. Admittedly, it smears a bit, but for the most part, it’s gone.

“Thanks.” Johanna says, “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t fall through.”

“I’m a good ally.” you tell her, smiling a little bit.

Enobaria isn’t gone.

She jumps from the top of the ledge, heading straight towards you guys. You swing your sword at her, cutting into one of her fingers. Johanna steps in after that, swinging her spare axe easily.

Enobaria will make a jab, Johanna will dodge, and sometimes even you’ll get a swing or two in. She’s clearly overwhelmed, you wonder if she wishes that she had ran instead of coming back. Because the two of you, clearly weren’t going to follow after her.

She thought she would be able to get the jump on you guys. Your back was the part that was facing her. You’re sure she was going to take the term ‘backstabbing’ quite literally had you not turned around. But then again, you saw the way that Johanna’s eyes had widened a little bit, Johanna would have knocked you out of the way if you hadn’t done it yourself.

She’s more fond of elbowing people to move, rather than jumping in front. It’s effective, it can get the person you’re protecting on the ground, but it’s also painful as hell. To be bumped that hard. You saw the way she did it to Katniss when she was going to kill Cashmere. It wasn’t pretty.

The fighting feels like it goes on forever. You don’t know how Enobaria does it exactly, how she’s so easily dodging but also coming so close to getting hit each time. Johanna is clearly getting frustrated, and her swings get faster and heavier. With metal-on-metal, sparks begin to fly.

A storm starts brewing out of nowhere, “Midnight?”

“Yeah,” Johanna grunts.

Enobaria lets in an opening that she shouldn’t have, and that’s when you get the tip of the sword right up to her throat. She pauses where she’s at, eyes slowly widening. You try to catch your breath, eyes and arm locked on her. You can’t move, or she’ll be able to run.

The sky begins to make the sound like it did right before lightning would strike. Very faintly, you can hear more yelling.

“You’re such a--” Enobaria starts.

“You guys were a bunch of idiots.” you tell her, “You should have seen this coming.”

The lightning hits, shaking the ground. Johanna suddenly grabs you and yanks you away from Enobaria, and you’re about to complain when you look up at the sky. Enobaria does the same, and you watch as the forcefield on the sky turns dark.

-- Chapter Eleven --

The restraints on your arms and legs are the first thing you feel when you finally manage to drag yourself out of unconsciousness. You want to open your eyes, to look around and see where you are, but you know where you are already. It is no mystery, and it is no nightmare as you were hoping.

So, you lay still, keep your eyes shut and breathe carefully. You can hear the faint sound of voices, shoes against metal flooring. There’s a screaming down the hall, pain or just resistance, you have no clue and you hope that you’re not next.

As for in your room, there’s a steady beeping, the heart monitor. Which is why you’re so insistent on not moving or breathing any faster than you have to. Taking it in and breathe it out on a beat, and it’ll keep the monitor from alerting the doctors. You’re sure that they’re hooked up to it, and they’ll get an alert if it notices any changes.

The light above you has to be a bright white, because you can see it through your eyelids slightly. Right above you, you can imagine. There’s an AC unit in the corner, and you know that because you can feel the air circulating the room, especially on your thighs.

You’re likely wearing a hospital gown, since it cuts so short. Your arms are also feeling the same draft, so it makes sense to you. Your hair is let down, you think. You can feel it against the back of your neck. You make no move to double check, afraid that there are eyes on you after all.

There could be someone sitting in the room with you, or standing over you, and you can’t hear their breathing over the beeping of the heart monitor. They’re being very quiet on purpose, which is why you have to be very, very careful to not show that you’re awake.

You don’t want to open your eyes, you don’t want to twitch your fingers or turn your head or test just how many restraints are across your body. You lay here in place, breathing in, and breathing out. Breathing in, and breathing out.

You spend this time of silence and stillness, trying to remember what had happened last. You remember the arena, and you remember stabbing Brutus in the back, or cutting him at least. It was a move to save Johanna. She killed him, Johanna had finished him off.

Then Enobaria ran, you think. You and Johanna had a moment to yourselves to collect and make friendly again, but Enobaria came back. You stopped her, and Johanna had stepped in to protect you. But every now and then you’d help too.

You remember hearing yelling, but it wasn’t from any of you. Now thinking about it, it could have ended up being Peeta, looking for Katniss just before the dome had come down, which is what happens next. The storm brewing overhead, and you have no recollection of looking at it, because you were so set on making sure Enobaria didn’t move.

Then the lightning struck, onto to be shot back into the sky, right? You remember watching the sky turn back, which was also when Johanna yanked you away from Enobaria for some reason. The sky came crumbling in, Enobaria ran, and it was just you two for a moment.

And then you tried to get out when the hovercraft came. Johanna found Peeta, knocked out against the rocks. The rocks must have moved beneath him when the lightning struck, because he very clearly hit his head against the rocks on the way down. He was bleeding, and Johanna asked you to help her.

All you wanted was Finnick in that moment, so you ran to him. Up the mountain, hoping to make it to him in time to be pulled out. Only, when you got there, he was already so high, so you tried to jump, and Finnick nearly had you. You saw the pain in his eyes when he missed, and watched as he left you behind.

You waited to make sure he was safe in the hovercraft, a part of you hoping that they’d save you, too. But they must have run out of time, because they were gone right after that. This is why you went back to Johanna and helped her take Peeta into a cave space.

Then she broke the news that it was useless anyway. You guys still had the trackers in your arms, and the peacekeepers were already heading towards you guys. You remember making the last minute decision to throw Peeta’s machete instead of your sword. It got a couple of the peacekeepers. Johanna and you had fought off as many as you could manage, but you were overpowered.

You weren’t awake for long after, they knocked you out pretty quickly. After that, it’s blank.

How many days has it been?

The automatic doors to the room open just then, and you can hear a couple of voices. The first being a doctor, and another being someone less important you can imagine, speaking directly to someone who’s already in the room with you.

Snow.

“President Snow,” they greet, “has there been any sign of her waking up?”

You breathe steadily, thanking the heart monitor when it doesn’t stutter when you realize that Snow has been staring at you this entire time. You’re a good actress, you’re bad at lying but you can act. And that’s one thing you’ll take to the grave with you.

“No.” he says.

“Would you like us to force her?” the doctor asks, it’s a male. You can imagine he’s staring down at the tablet in his hands, “A shot of adrenaline will get her up quickly.”

Don’t do it.

“I think we’ll wait.” he says, you want him to get up and leave so you can take inventory of the things around you. You want to fight your way out, no matter how useless it’ll be. You want to get out of here, “It won’t be too long before she’s awake. We have time.”

“Hopefully she’s nothing like Johanna.”

“I imagine she won’t be.” Snow says.

They wrap up their conversation, and leave the room. Everyone except for Snow.

Silence, except for the heart monitor.

“I know you’re awake.”

No skips, you’re an actress. You’re an actress. You’re an actress.

“You can’t lay there forever.” he tells you.

Actress.

“Don’t you want to know about Finnick?”

You know where he is already, in safety. He’s with Katniss and Beetee and Haymitch. He’s in safe hands, and soon he’ll get to see that picture. Finnick will be mad at himself for a long time, but he’ll be fine. If anything, he’s probably beating himself up over the fact that you’re here.

“Or your family?”

The monitor stutters, and Snow chuckles.

You can play this off, and so you open your eyes to the bright light, and then look to Snow in the corner. He tilts his head, placing the bookmark back into his book, closing it. He stands, coming towards you.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” you tell him, “I know nothing.”

“I doubt that.” he says, stopping just above you, “You knew that they were coming.”

“I knew of the plan,” you admit, “I knew that we would be protecting Katniss, but I didn’t want to do that. That’s why I went with Cashmere, Gloss, Brutus and Enobaria.”

“But you turned on them, didn’t you?”

You squint at him, “Have you ever actually been in the games?” it’s a rhetorical question, he can’t answer it, “No. So, you wouldn’t know how strategy works. I had to kill Brutus, for my own survival.”

He shakes his head, a little smirk on his face, “You forget the part where you and Johanna had your moment?”

“We’re friends.” you spit back at him, “You know what those are, right?”

He’s not amused at your hostility, “I suppose now that you’re awake, we can begin the interrogation.”

“I don’t have anything to tell you.” you remind him, “I know nothing.”

“You know more than you say you do.”

He goes to leave, but you struggle a little bit, “Tell me about my family. Tell me about District Four.”

The doors open but he pauses, “Maybe if you’re cooperative.”

He starts leaving again, “You son of a bitch! You motherfucker!”

The doors shut behind him, and you place your head against the bed. The heart monitor has sped up considerably, no longer at a calming rate. You try to slip your wrist out of the leather restraints, but they’re on too tight. You’re forced to lay here, staring at the ceiling.

You’ll kill Snow yourself if you find out that he hurt your brothers and sister. The second that you get free of these, he’ll be the first person that goes down, because they’re innocent. They’re innocent people, they had no clue what was going on.

And for that matter, you didn’t really know much either. You’re telling the truth, and he can’t see that. He wants to believe that since you knew at least a tiny bit, that you’re repressing more than what you’re giving up. But you knew the basics of the plan.

It was a protection of Katniss and Peeta. You guys were supposed to keep them alive against everyone until Haymitch and Plutarch would be able to get them out. You didn’t stick along for long enough to know where they had headed in that hovercraft. You know the three tributes that are on there, just as well as they do.

You lay here in silence for a while, listening as your heart monitor slows down again back at it’s regular pace. You wait and wait for someone to come in and get you, but he must be purposely waiting now. He wants you to drive yourself crazy about it.

Eventually, you stop moving and struggling and you end up staring at the ceiling light without realizing it. When you notice the little spots across your eyes, you go ahead and look towards the glass doors to see what’s happening in the hall. It was perfect timing, this is when you’re able to see someone struggling.

They’re screaming, and doing anything they can to not be brought wherever they’re being drug. It’s a girl, short black hair, resistant…

“Johanna!” You yell, trying to sit up again.

She looks to where her name was called, “(Y/n)?!”

“Johanna!” you yell again, wondering if you could rock the bed and get it to knock over.

“Don’t tell them anything!” She yells, “Nothing!”

And then they yank her away from your door, taking her down the hall. She doesn’t stop screaming, calling them names, swearing, you can hear one of the peacekeepers yell at her to stop. She doesn’t though, she creates a commotion the entire way to wherever they’re bringing her. Eventually, it’s too far away to hear anymore.

Don’t tell them anything…

You don’t know that much, and she has to know that, right? She doesn’t know how much you do know, which is why she’s telling you to keep your mouth shut. You wonder if you’ll be able to play pretend for a little while longer. Finnick was one of the three that was taken to wherever they were headed.

Which means Snow is going to assume you know more than you do. And you can play that off. You can act like you know more than you do, and he’ll have no choice but to buy it. Why? Johanna won’t speak, and Peeta knows nothing, and so you’re the best bet.

It’s not too long after that, when you hear the marching of more peacekeepers. The doors open automatically, and you can see that they’ve doubled the number from two to four.

A doctor leads them in. She unhooks the things from your heart, takes out needles and the first restraint she shows the peacekeepers how to work, is the one connected to your foot.

She’s an idiot.

The second your foot is free, you slam it against her chest as hard as you can manage. The tablet drops from her hand, shattering on the tile floor. She hits the wall behind her, and the peacekeepers move in at you almost instantly afterwards. They hold your limbs down, making sure you can’t surprise them anymore, releasing the restraints.

Then, they hoist you off of the bed, and make you sit on your knees. You go to struggle, but they pull your arms behind your back. They slip something around both of your wrists and then tighten it. Handcuffs.

The peacekeepers grab the bend of your elbows, pulling you up and onto your feet. You put your bare feet in front of you, resisting their dragging as best as you can. They get you out of the room and into the hallway, which is when you can see Snow.

“Cooperate.” he reminds you.

“Fuck you!” you spit all the saliva you have in your mouth at him, and you’re satisfied when it sticks to his suit, “Go fuck yourself! Rot in hell, you unholy son of a bitch!”

The peacekeepers are a little rougher with you as they pull you down the hallway. You still struggle, and try to kick the peacekeepers in front of you. You get your legs tangled with theirs, you try to twist your body. You do anything you can to make it ten times harder for them.

In one of the rooms you pass, lays Peeta on the bed. He’s staring wide-eyed at the door, clearly not ready for this. You wonder if he’s just woken up too, or if Snow’s already seen him and he’s tried to tell Snow that he doesn’t know anything.

“(Y/n)?” he asks.

“Get off of me!” You scream, turning your head from him, kicking your foot up and knocking into the back of one of the peacekeeper’s helmet.

They’ve had enough of you, they each grab a foot and continue walking. This doesn’t stop you from kicking and screaming the entire way down the hall. It would have been much easier had they kept you on the bed and wheeled you down to where you need to be. But they’re not that smart.

They go around corners hundreds of times, all the hallways look the same. You could get lost in here, it’s like a fucking maze. You try to remember the directions they take, but eventually give up because there’s no pattern to it. For all you know, they could be taking you in circles just to throw you off.

Thirty minutes later of you kicking and screaming, and they’ve finally brought you into a pristine white room. White walls, white tiles, white ceiling. A white chair in the middle of the room, with a bright white light above it. New white clothes that they’re going to force you to wear, you can feel it.

In the room stands a single avox, a woman. They drop you on your ass, uncuff you, and then leave the room. There’s only you and her in here now. You stare at her as you slowly get off of the floor.

“Don’t touch me,” you warn her, “Don’t drug me, don’t move towards me.”

It’s not her fault that she’s being put up to this, and that’s why you’re warning her. You don’t want to hurt her, but you will. You’ll do anything you can to be in this room alone. Hell, you’re not opposed to strapping her to that chair in the middle of the room.

She picks up the clothes that are sitting on a white marble cart. The lack of color is beginning to hurt your eyes. You knew Snow normally went white, because it’s the closest to his name, but it’s moronic. Just like how dressing you up in blue is moronic. Just because you come from a district of water, doesn’t mean you have to resemble it.

Without stepping towards you, she tosses them. They slide to your feet, and you look at them in disgust.

“Did Johanna come by?” you ask, it’s a yes or no question.

She nods slightly, but her eyes keep flickering to the right.

You look that way to see a camera. It’s got a red blinking light going, and it’s trained on where you stand.

“Well,” you start, “As I’ve always been told, you’re made to serve. You answer questions and you do things as asked. They can’t get mad at you if you’re following the rules.”

She nods a little bit.

“Are there any other victors here?”

She nods.

“Mags? Annie? Enobaria?” it isn’t until you’re done speaking when you realize that you should have asked one at a time. But despite this, she nods, “All three?”

Again, more nodding.

You turn to the camera, “You brought Annie into this? You’re fucking psychotic, Snow! Let them go! They have nothing to do with this!”

You pick up the clothes that she had tossed towards you, angrily. You pull off the gown, letting it sit by the door. You pull the scrubs on, despite hating every single moment of this. You’ll be easily identified with or without the gown on.

The doors open behind you, and you turn to see more peacekeepers.

You back up slightly, not wanting to get too close to the avox. You make a swipe for their batton, but they grab a hold of your wrist before you can get away from them. And just like that, your other wrist is in a different peacekeeper’s hand. They drag you over to the chair.

It isn’t a doctor that stands in the doorway, but it someone much different. He tilts his head at you, like he’s assessing you. Then, he nods a little bit, “You’d look fantastic in a dress.”

A stylist.

“You tell Snow I’m not playing dress up for him.”

He laughs, shaking his head at you, “You’ll change your mind, I suggest you do it before we have to.”

Your face drops, “What the hell does that mean?”

He waves, leaving the room as he takes notes. The avox and the peacekeepers all leave the room. They shut and lock the door. The restraints on this chair are a lot tougher than the one on the hospital bed.

A spraying noise starts, and you think it might be from outside, until a sweet smell comes over the room. You look over to where you feel the air coming from, and it’s almost like a fog. A cloudy pink fog coming over the room.

You breathe in again, recognizing the smell. It’s the same as a medicine they have in the districts. It’s mostly used when someone is in pain when they’re sick or something.

Normally, it puts people right to sleep.

They’ve turned it to a fog that you have to inhale, smart. Unfortunately for you, that means that the pain is about to begin.

-- Chapter Twelve --

The crack of the whip makes you flinch against the wall, squeezing your eyes a little tighter. For these past few days, you’ve been begging for it all to be one big nightmare. That any second you’re going to wake up in your bed, next to Finnick in your victor house in District Four.

It’s going to be the day of the Quarter Quell, only you’re not going inside of that arena. No victor is being chosen to go inside, it’s the unlucky teenagers once again. They’re going to be forced to kill each other, and endure their share of torture, instead of you guys again.

In this timeline, you know that you’re pregnant, and so does Finnick. There’s a crib, baby toys and all the supplies you’d need for a baby down the hall in the empty room you never knew what to do with. It looks perfect. The walls are blue, the floor is carpet instead of wood to be gentle on the baby’s knees.

You and Finnick have come up with a name for the baby. Every couple of weeks the district’s doctor will come down from their office and come and see you to make sure you’re healthy. Or you might insist to go on a walk with Finnick right up to their door. They’ll greet you kindly, and the check up will go fine, and say that the baby is healthy too.

Mags is excited to be a grandma, since she was like a mother to you. Caspian’s mom is so insistent on a baby shower and she tells you that she’ll invite a couple of people and not too many, but you know that she’s going to invite all of the district in her excitement. Annie congratulates you, and jokes about being an aunt.

Reed and Mox and Alyssum are ecstatic. Reed complains about having a baby in the house again, but deep down he’s happy for you. Happy to see that everything is finally smoothing out for you. You’re no longer having nightmares, you’re singing, and cooking and fishing just like you used to. All those habits that you got rid of are suddenly back.

Mox had cried when he had gotten the news. He hugged you so damn tight, and told you that it’s perfect timing for you guys. He spins you around and you have to remind him that you get dizzy a lot easier. He’ll apologize and set you back onto your feet, but later on in the day, he goes down to the square and brags to everyone there.

Alyssum can’t keep her mouth shut about it long enough. She tells all of her friends and teachers. They’re happy for her, and for you, and for Finnick. Alyssum comes home and draws pictures for you guys to nail up on the wall for the baby. She suggests baby names for you guys, and pretend pouts when you turn her down.

And Finnick, he’s so happy. He’s letting up on the nightmares, he’s no longer looking over his shoulder. He’s so protective over you because he wants to make sure that you’re okay every step along the way. He helps you up and down the stairs, to and from the bathroom and stands there in the shower to make sure you’re okay.

He ties your shoes, and pulls on your jeans and kisses you every chance he gets. Finnick will beg to touch the bump when you claim that the baby is kicking, and he’ll sit there, completely amazed for a while. This is the time when you know that everything will be okay, because Finnick is okay. He has a healthy distraction now, and he’s going to protect the baby at every chance he has.

No one in the district is mad at you in this fantasy. The parents have finally forgiven you, and they’re taking their own precautions. You teach the classes to the kids around you, and you see them blossom more each and every day. You joke that before they know it, they’re going to beg to go inside of that arena, and that’s the day you’ll damn yourself to hell.

All you want is to be happy. All you want is to have your normal life back. You want Finnick back in your arms, and you want to be able to hug Reed, Mox and Alyssum again. You want to see Mags in the mornings as you give her breakfast, and you want Annie to come to you for help when she needs it.

They crack the whip again, and you press your forehead against the cold tile wall. Your lip trembles slightly as you readjust on your raw knees. You look down at what you’re kneeling in, and all you can see is the blood. The mutt scar on your back now has friends.

Your whole backside has friends. They don’t want to touch the front because you are pregnant. You fear that you’ll be in here long enough to give birth, and they’ll take away the baby the moment that it’s out. You won’t even be able to see him.

You hope they save you soon. You want to be free again.

“All you have to do is tell us what you know,” the man says, “Then we’ll stop.”

It’ll never stop. If you ever do tell them anything, it’ll never be enough. They’ll think you’re lying because you’ve been so resistant for so long.

“You won’t,” you croak out, your throat burns from being denied water for so long. You shake your head against the wall, “You won’t ever stop.”

Another crack, you press yourself against the wall a little tighter. As if that’ll ever get you away from them. No matter what, they have access to you. Moving towards the wall does nothing. It decreases the chance of you hitting it when they strike you, but that’s about it.

“Tell us, what are they planning?”

You can feel the urge to cry, and you press your lips together, shaking your head. A tear slides down your cheek, just as you hold onto the restraints a little tighter, preparing for the whip.

A door opens behind you, “That’s enough for now. Snow wants her for an interview.”

You shake your head, “No, just leave me alone.”

“Get her cleaned up, we can’t have her bleeding on camera.”

“Why?” you ask, “Why me?”

There is no answer, the doors slide shut for a moment. The man cracks the whip for a final time, making you flinch again. His boots get faint though, as he leaves the room. The doors open, and they stay open for a long minute before they shut again.

It’s medical staff. They warn you before they do anything to your back. First, they wash it down, and then they clean it, which is the worth part about it all. By the time they want to do stitches, your back feels numb and you just sit there silently. You can feel the needle go in, as they pull at the skin.

They wipe it down for a final time and warn you not to move too harshly. It’ll tear out the stitches. It’s not like you have much motivation for it anyway. You move a little bit, and it hurts like a bitch. It’s not worse than the whippings, you’ll give it that. You can’t help but to wonder how long these will last.

They’re going to take you, and present you to the Capitol, but what happens after? If you’re cooperative, will they finally stop this? Or will they just continue on with what they have to? You have to ask this question, because it’s important. You have to know if you’re going to undergo another couple of days of this.

The peacekeepers let you down from the restraints attached to the wall. They don’t move to cuff you again, which you’re thankful for. You take the time to rub at your wrist, seeing how red it’s beginning to look.

The moments you’re not free, you’re tied up against someplace. And since all they like to do is whip, or inject or play back sounds of your family getting hurt. You have all the time in the world to try and resist to get it all to stop. It hurts, it’s messing with your head.

It’s worse than the hunger games. You’d rather go back in that arena and kill thousands of girls from District Ten by beheading. Because at least then you know that time will fix that. But this? You’ll have these scars forever. They won’t go away, they won’t fade, they won’t become a happy memory.

You’re going to remember hearing Finnick scream your name for the rest of your life. How he’ll blame you for not being there fast enough, or not helping him. But then he’ll beg you to save him, or put him out of his misery. And you don’t know how they’re doing it, because they don’t have Finnick, but the visuals--too realistic.

You can see him choking on his own blood. Or reaching up at you while he’s drowning underwater. Or he’s the one hanging from the rope, and you refuse to cut him free. You watch as Katniss, as Peeta, as Johanna, as Mags and Annie and Enobaria and Cashmere kill him over and over and over. Until you’re screaming turns to sobbing and you’re the one begging for it all to stop.

It happens every single day. And on the days they’re not using Tracker Jacker venom, they’re whipping you. And they’re playing those sounds back to you, until it’s engraved in your brain. Until you’re hearing it when the sounds stop. You clamp a pillow over your ears in the night time as if that’ll fix it at all.

Sleep is the only form of escape you have, and it comes in short bursts. Either they wake you up, or your brain does it before they have the chance to. You’re sleep deprived, exhausted, hungry, and you hurt. It all hurts so much.

The sound of heels makes you look over to where it’s coming from. You wait, curious to see who it is, and then Elysia rounds the corner.

“Elysia!” you gasp, going to push yourself up, but you slip on the puddle of blood that’s still under your knees.

You catch yourself before you hit the floor too hard, and the next time you get up, it’s a lot slower. Elysia doesn’t flinch when you throw your arms around her, hugging her tightly. The stitches on your back stretch, and it hurts your skin like hell. But Elysia is hugging you back with just as much enthusiasm.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up.” She tells you, “Let’s go.”

She pulls you out into the hallway, behind you the peacekeepers move to follow. Which means that you guys aren’t going to get complete privacy, they’re going to follow to make sure that you guys aren’t up to anything bad. And to make sure that you don’t go ahead and tell her anything.

Elysia takes you around the corner and to a very familiar elevator.

“Where are we?” you ask her quietly.

“The training center.” She tells you, holding onto your arm a little tighter, “It’s the only place for you guys.”

The peacekeepers step onto the elevator, and they press the buttons before you’re allowed to. They then move behind, and you watch as the numbers above the doors continue to go up. First floor, second floor, third floor, and the fourth. It stops, the doors open, and Elysia guides you to the right, towards the apartment.

“Is Laurel and the prep team okay?” you ask her quietly.

“They’re fine,” She assures you.

“Have you heard anything about Mags?”

“Enough.” A peacekeeper orders, but Elysia shakes her head anyway, it’s a no.

Elysia opens the apartment door, and right inside stands Laurel, Cleo, Leo and Beth.

“Oh my god,” Beth covers her mouth.

Laurel looks over to glare at her, being the first to move down the stairs, “Hello, (Y/n).”

“Hi,”

She looks past you two at the peacekeepers, “We’re going to go shower her in private.”

“We have strict orders.”

“Then stand outside the bathroom door.” Laurel tells him, then she looks at you, “Let’s go.”

You follow them to the back half of the apartment. And to your surprise, she doesn’t turn right, to where your bedroom is. She goes left.

The doors open, and the peacekeepers decide to stand outside the bedroom door instead, which is good enough for you guys. All of you get into the room, and then the metal door shuts. This one is not see-through like all the others that you’ve seen so far.

Cleo moves to take down your hair, as Laurel and Elysia want to pull the shirt over your head. You tell them that you just got stitches, which is when they pause. Beth finds a pair of a scissors in the bathroom, and they cut the fabric instead.

Cleo, Leo and Beth decide to stay in the room after that, while Laurel and Elysia bring you to the shower. You sit on the floor as Laurel washes your hair.

“Have you seen Mags at all?” you ask, “Annie, Peeta, Johanna?”

“When’s the last you saw them?” Elysia asks.

“I saw Johanna when I first woke up, and then Peeta shortly after. I know Mags and Annie are here because…” you close your eyes, “I heard Mags screaming, at least, there’s a difference between her and Johanna… and then Mags eventually went quiet--I think they’ve killed her.”

It’s quiet, and then Laurel speaks, “Well, I can tell you we’ve seen Peeta.”

You sit up a little bit, “You have? How is he?”

“He was… fine in his first interview.” Elysia gets out slowly, “But the most recent one has been bad.”

“Bad how?”

“Tired, skinny, tortured.”

You hate the Capitol.

When you finally stand to wash the blood off, the water runs red. Elysia has to step away while it happens, and you tell Laurel she can take a moment too. Not sure if that look on her face was queasiness or not. She doesn’t take the chance, and instead apologizes that you’re going through this.

After the shower, you’re dried off. Cleo does your hair while Beth and Leo wax your legs and armpits. There’s no time for a second shower, and you quickly find out that Leo isn’t allowed to put makeup on you either.

“Why?” you ask, “Why are you guys allowed to go through the trouble of waxing, and cleaning, and doing my hair only for you not to do my makeup?”

“They want you to look like you do now.” Elysia tells you, “Here, look in the mirror and tell me what you see.”

She wipes down the foggy mirror with a towel, and you can’t help but to stumble back at the sight of who is reflected. That girl standing in the mirror looks nothing like you, but at the same time, it does.

She’s skinny. You can see the places where her skin has sunken in, revealing more bones. You’re able to see her ribs, and her collarbones stick out painfully. Her face is much skinnier, and her cheekbones pop out a bit more. There’s purple bruises covering her skin, and you can see the places where the whip went over her shoulder.

Her skin has lost color. Her eyes are purple circles, there’s cuts and bruises and the shadows don’t compliment her anymore. She looks nothing like you, but she is you. And you’re going to appear in front of the Capitol, and presumably the districts too.

Finnick will be able to see you like this.

This is the first time he’ll be able to see you, and you’re going to look tired and malnourished. When you twist your body to the side, you wince. The bump is obvious now that the weight has dropped considerably. Anyone watching will be able to tell that you’re pregnant.

“Why can’t Peeta appear again?”

“I don’t know.” Laurel tells you, “Maybe they’re giving him a break.”

“There are no breaks.” you tell her, “There are never breaks. It has to be something else.”

You spend the last of the time thinking over this. Why would you appear instead of Peeta?

But the first mystery to solve is Peeta first. He’s here instead of Katniss, so he has to suffer in some way too, right? Even though Katniss and Peeta being in love was an act, you can remember the way that Peeta had protected Katniss. And Katniss had protected him right back.

So, they’re using Peeta as torture to her? Does that make sense? They’re trying to make the rebellion stop, but the only way they can do that is if Katniss stops, right? And if she won’t do it, then Snow has to force her hand and make her see that her actions have consequences.

Yes, that makes sense. Seeing Peeta be hurt is like leverage. They’re almost trying to convince her to change her mind. She stops, they stop. Only, they won’t. They’ll continue hurting Peeta for as long as it takes, because Snow is just like that.

It’s funny how you haven’t seen any of these interviews just yet, and they’re planning to throw you into one.

Anyway, you being up there instead of him. Weird, but not completely unusual, you suppose. Your theory, and the only theory you have is building off of the last one and the hurting Katniss. Since she didn’t budge when it came to giving up the revolution, that means they have to turn to you.

Because not all of her actions affect just her, they can hurt you too. They hurt Johanna, Annie and it hurt Mags. There’s a great possibility that you’re going up tonight to spark something inside of Finnick. This will be a test to see if he will try and force Katniss’ hand to give it up.

The only problem with that is that he was on the front lines when it came to getting Katniss out of the arena. You hope that since he’s come this far, that he won’t just give it all up for you. And you also hope that Katniss’ stubbornness doesn’t waver just because you’re on screen and she’s suddenly feeling empathy towards Finnick.

They finally have you step into the dress. It’s white, and lacy. It’s thin-strapped and the top part of it is a deep v-neck. The plunge goes all the way to your high ribs, where the connecting part is. The bottom half goes to about mid-thigh and a little bit higher. Following the dress is the whiet flats that are given to you.

They slide silver bracelets onto your slim wrists. White necklaces, and diamond earrings you think. Anything that resembles the color white, and makes you look like you belong to the Capitol.

“They’ve allowed highlight.” Leo comes into the room, pulling out a brush and a ‘pallette’ for a lack of a better word.

He applies it to your nose, and your cheeks and a little bit to your forehead.

When you look in the mirror again, with the whole completed look, the first word that comes to mind is ‘pet’ and the one that follows is ‘disgusting’.

“I look like a monster.” you tell them.

“We know.” Cleo says, “It’s what he wants.”

“You have a vague outline of a script,” Elysia hands over the paper, “Don’t go off track, no matter how tempting, please.”

“That’s for your own safety.” Laurel says.

You nod, looking down at it, “Caesar’s interviewing me?”

“Who else did you expect?”

You shrug, looking over the paper as you guys leave the room. Outside, the peacekeepers have doubled, and Elysia, and the others aren’t allowed to follow you. You want to say goodbye, but when they start yanking, you stop resisting.

They take you into the elevator, and you guys go down for a little bit, and then you step out and they take you to a room you’ve never been in before. The room is bright, there’s lights shining onto two chairs. Caesar sits in one of them, he looks calm, and like he did before the games.

There’s a few cameras around that are pointed at the seats. Everyone turns to see who’s come into the room, and there’s a lot of eyes on you all at once.

“(Y/n),” Caesar smiles, standing up and going to give you a hug.

You jump back, holding your hands out while shaking your head, “No, you don’t get to hug me. I’m not an old friend, not anymore.”

This doesn’t ruin his spirit, he holds out his hand towards the chair, and you’re sure to keep as much distance as you can get between you and him as you sit in the chair. This is when people come in and readjust the way you sit. This one particular girl comes in and continues to remind you to keep your chin up so that they’ll be able to see your face clearly.

You cross your legs, sitting back comfortably but tall. You’re reminded to smile every now and then, but they’re not forcing that on you. When you can’t seem to keep your head up, the same lady snaps her fingers and demands the choker. As soon as you see what she’s talking about, you tell her that you’ll be better about it.

It’s a choker alright, and there’s a pointed area on it. Specifically designed to stab you each time your head falls too low. You make a point to keep your chin up a little higher after that.

You’re allowed to read over the basics of what you’re supposed to say, there is no particular rush. You try to focus on what you’ll be saying, but figure it’s pointless as soon as you’re distracted by the fact that several people are staring at you. You toss the paper aside, literally, and tell them you’re ready to start.

The lady comes back with a white rose that reeks of perfume, and tells you to keep it in your hands. After that, she gets behind the camera with everyone else, and they countdown.

Caesar introduces what you guys will be talking about, which is the rebellion. But he doesn’t call that, he calls it an ‘upbringing’. It’s almost like he has certain keywords he’s not allowed to use. As if Snow doesn’t see this as a rebellion, but a little bit of resistance. And in that case, Snow is blind and you hope that this blows up in his pathetic fucking face.

Cameras aren’t on you just yet, they’re mostly focused on Caesar, “But today we have a very special guest. Someone who we haven’t spoken to just yet.”

You raise your head a little bit, but make no move for a smile. Your eyes bore into Caesar's face with hatred. Even if you were to force a smile, it would look like you’re pissed. Because you are. You’re about to be shown off to the entire country while you look like shit.

You move to cover your belly, hoping that won’t draw more attention to it.

“Today we’re here with (Y/n) Odair.”

Funny way to introduce you, as Finnick’s wife rather than Gallows, which they’ve been using this entire time. You did end up taking Finnick’s last name, hoping to escape the truth of yours. And it had worked, no one used Gallows unless they were addressing your siblings.

But the Capitol still insists to tie you back to it. Like you’ll never be able to run away from it. However, this one time they need to introduce you as an Odair, to appeal back to Finnick. To catch Finnick’s eyes and ears and draw him in that much further.

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that last name,” you try to be light, but your tone is anything but joking. Caesar laughs anyway, trying to be charismatic as usual, but he is no nice guy to you.

“Yes, since we usually call you by your last name. Which is quite unique, don’t you think?”

You nod, “I like Finnick’s a lot better, though.”

“I bet that’s true,” he laughs, “Now, onto the more important topic. You know that Finnick and Katniss reside inside of District Thirteen, don’t you?”

You didn’t, “What about it?”

“So straightforward!” he doesn’t laugh this time, “It must have been heartbreaking when they took Finnick out instead of you, wasn’t it? You were so close to them, and yet they decided to just leave you there, especially when you’re--” he motions slightly, mostly at your stomach, “--pregnant.”

This motherfucker.

You raise your head back up, tilting it a little bit. So much for confidentiality, now the whole nation knows.

“It wasn’t his fault,” you begin, sitting up in your seat again but making sure that your legs stay crossed, “I kept it from him, I kept it from everyone except for one person. So, he can’t be blamed for not being able to catch me when I did try to get to him. He did his best, and I don’t hold that against him. It’s my fault that I didn’t make it there in time.”

“Who else did you end up telling?” he asks.

This is nowhere near the script, the whole pregnancy thing wasn’t on the script, the asshole. It’s Caesar, you suppose he doesn’t have to follow anything that he doesn’t want to. But either way, this wasn’t planned. They want your raw reaction.

“Haymitch Abernathy.”

Caesar laughs, “You entrusted a drunk with that information?”

“Haymitch is reliable. He’s consistent--besides being drunk. He’s smart, and I’ve known him since I won my games. I knew I could trust him with that information, and I hope that he’s already passed on the ultrasound pictures along with the note that I had for Finnick, already.”

They don’t know about any of this. They won’t know what’s on the note, and they can try to get to the doctor, but she doesn’t know either. They can fucking interrogate you until they’re blue in the face and you wouldn’t care. Because the note is worthless, it’ll further them in no way.

“And if this is the first Finnick’s hearing about the note and pictures, Haymitch will give it up soon enough. After all, I did give him very specific instructions.” you switch the legs that are crossed, twisting the flower in your fingers, “Anything else?”

“Yes, plenty more,” Caesar sits up in his seat now, “I must ask, how you feel about what’s going on. You do know that Katniss is to blame for all of this, right?”

He’s a moron, “No, she’s not. She had no idea what was going on.”

“But now she does,” he reasons, “You’ve seen the videos that they project, interrupting interviews like the one I had with Peeta last week?”

It was that long ago?

Peeta has had two interviews, and they’re either several days apart, or they’re a week apart. Which means that you have been in the Capitol for almost three weeks. Or maybe four, if you are going by the week intervals. If you’re going by days, then it might be two or three.

“No, I haven’t,” you’re bitter, “I haven’t had any connection with the outside, much less been allowed to watch broadcasting. I have no idea what you’ve spoken about with Peeta, or the things that District Thirteen may or may not have shown.”

“I’m sure they’ll show you later--”

Static suddenly fills the room, but the beginning of it sounds exactly like a whip. You flinch, covering your head with your arms and you stay like that until you can get your heart to calm down. You want to place your head between your knees and just stay like that until this is over, but it doesn’t happen.

“(Y/n)?”

Your head raises as you look to the screen behind the camera. There, you can see Finnick’s face. Covered in tears, cheeks red from crying. There’s hope in his eyes, he wants you to see him, and he’s gotten his wish.

They have timed this perfectly.

“Finnick.”

He’s gone as quick as he’s come, but it’s enough for you. Some guy behind the camera tells you guys that it’s under control and that there shouldn’t be any more interruptions.

“It’s time we wrap this up,” Caesar says, “Is there anything you want to say to the districts that are watching?”

From behind the camera that’s pointed towards both you and Finnick, someone holds up the cards that you had tossed. They want you to tell everyone to quiet down and quit it. The only problem is that they don’t listen to you, they listen to Katniss.

You look at the camera, “To the districts that are still active--” there’s no way that some of them have made it out of this completely functional, “And District Thirteen, I would advise you to think your actions through thoroughly. Your actions have consequences. If you move, then the Capitol will move right back.

“Be strategic. Stay safe. Stand strong.” They don’t look happy with your message, and you see they go to cut the cameras. Your words will already get you in trouble, you might as well jump into the deep end now, “Finnick, I know you’re watching this now. I love you, and I miss you. Don’t be afraid, you’re safe right where you are--” you can see the peacekeepers coming at you, and you keep your eyes glued to them, “Don’t worry about me, Finn. I can take care of myself.”

They step into the picture, moving around Caesar, and this is when you decide to drop the ladylike act. You kick the groin of the closest one to the door, jumping out of your seat. They all make a grab for you, but you shove the camera away from you hastily, slipping past all their fingers.

You take off down the hallway, and you can hear the boots of every peacekeeper in the vicinity behind you. You try to remember what you can about these halls, and soon enough you find the fire escape staircase.

You go to yank the door open and head down, but you slam right into a different peacekeeper that was waiting on the other side. The ones behind you yank you back, away from the staircase. Their grips are hard, and they drag you behind them.

You should have gone for the elevator.

-- Chapter Thirteen --

They took it too far after the interview. They were so upset with what you had done, that they took the ‘actions have consequences’ comment and threw it back into your face and spit in it too. They took everything you had said and turned it against you, to show you that they’re still in power.

Actions do have consequences. And because you told them to stay strong and stand tall, they had to tear you down in retaliation. They can’t let you be confident for too long, they wanted to rip down everything you had built in the last couple of hours. And they wanted you to sit and wallow in it.

They strapped you back against the chair, and instead of injecting tracker jacker poison like you expected, they did something much worse. It made the whippings, starvation and tracker jacker poison look like child's play. Like a warm up to the real nightmare that stood behind.

They wanted you to get used to everything else, so when they finally pulled this move on you, it would do some real damage. And congratulations to them, because the tears still haven’t stopped, even though you’ve got a pounding headache. Your throat is raw from the initial screaming, your face stings each time a new tear falls, and you’re so damn thirsty.

Every time you close your eyes, you see it all over again. The doors to this room aren’t see-through. There was no warning that this was coming, not that a warning would have done much anyway. It’s still a gunshot to the head, with warning or without. There’s no way you can tell someone that they just killed a different person because of what they said.

And you wouldn’t change a goddamn thing you had said on that broadcast. It was live, they got to see you kick the peacekeeper and make a dash for the door live. It’s okay with you, because they know that you still had fight left in you. You might have looked like shit, with all that weight gone, and little to no muscle, but you came through.

Now, there’s not so much fight, though. You’re exhausted, they haven’t let you sleep just yet. They’ve fed you since the interview, they’re at least consistent with that schedule. You have a feeling that they’re not exactly doing it for you, though. They’re mostly doing it for the baby that you’re carrying.

It’s not like they’re really making a difference. They still give you tracker jacker poison, and they don’t lessen the doses when you tell them just how dangerous it is for him. They laugh in your face, and they tell you to keep your fucking mouth shut. And at this point, you’re willing to give in, as long as no one else has to die because of your actions.

They came in here, with one hand on each of her arms, and tossed her into the room with you, and then left. Not a single word on what was happening, they didn’t tell you that she was already dead. They just threw her in and left.

Mags’ dead body still lays in front of the door. Her head isn’t turned towards you, thank god. But you can still imagine the look of milky white dead eyes. You hope that they’re not open, and they at least closed them to give her rest. She didn’t deserve what they did to her.

And it couldn’t have been good. She can’t speak well, so she can’t tell them that she didn’t have information to hand over. But of course they had to have assumed that since you and Finnick had a hand in the arena falling apart, that she would have some idea about what had been going on.

You and Finnick had already discussed keeping it from her because you didn’t want her to get involved for this exact reason. In case you guys were caught, and she would be dragged into it. You thought it would be for her safety, but it turned out to be the reason why she’s dead.

There’s a small pool of blood around the space where her head had cracked from hitting the tile when they threw her in. At that time, you had thought that she was still alive and you begged for someone to come in and save her. But a couple of hours later, you’d see that her chest wasn’t moving at all, and realize that she was dead all this time.

It just made the tears come a little harder. Your screams and pleas had fizzled out to nothing, and instead you cried in silence. Your fight against the restraints had stopped and you slid down in the chair in defeat. Eyes shut, head turned away from the camera and away from her as you wished that none of this was happening again.

You didn’t even get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to tell her how sorry you are for all of this. You didn’t get to apologize for holding secrets and for shutting her out like that so suddenly. You didn’t get to apologize for not thinking about her feelings first, and being so selfish like you always are.

You didn’t get to apologize for getting her killed. The last time you two had talked was the day you decided that you didn’t want to be in an alliance with Finnick anymore. The only time you guys had communicated after that was in the arena when she sent that sword in, and even then, that was a gift from Laurel. She had told you when she was showering you, that it was an expensive gift, and she kept her promise.

You couldn’t have cared less who had gifted you that knife. Or why she had done it, or why she picked her timing and all of that bullshit. You care now about making sure that they aren’t the next people that are hurt. You hope that Snow will take mercy upon his own citizens and not try to kill them or torture them to get back at you.

And that can go the same for your family too. Because there’s no doubt that he has his hands on them. If Annie wasn’t saved from District Four, then that means that neither was Reed, or Mox or Alyssum. Snow probably grabbed them while he could.

It’s sick to say, but you’re just glad that he hadn’t tossed in your older brothers as punishment for what you did. You can imagine that’s what will happen next, though. If you’re not compliant for the rest of your stay here. If you try and resist, then they will toss in your brothers, or your sister.

Then you will have much darker blood on your hands. Your own family will be at the fault of your actions.

The door opens, and there stands peacekeepers. The lady from the interview comes in with a cart too. You watch as the peacekeepers grab Mags by the ankles and drag her out of the room. Her gray hair has turned a shade of red from soaking in the blood for the past few days.

She leaves a trail of red behind her. They walk out of sight, so you then look to the lady standing at the cart.

“Snow is giving you a second chance.” she tells you, “Don’t fuck this up.”

“Why?” you ask, leaning forward, “What for?”

She doesn’t answer your question, and you can’t answer it either. What would be the benefit of seeing you live? You’re no one interesting, you’ve been out of the eyes of the Capitol and the districts for a while now. Back when you had won you were relevant, but that was all because of Finnick.

An avox comes into the room and the doors shut behind him. He comes over to you, undoes the restraints, and then motions to the cart. There would be no reason to shower you off, you guess. You’re not covered in blood like you were last time. You were whipped last night, but they had quite literally hosed you off instantly after.

The cold water was painful in your wounds. Since they felt white hot, and that water felt like it came straight from a stream in winter. The two conflicting temperatures had just made the entire wound feel like it was on fire. They took notes of this, you know it. They love being able to hurt you.

You step around the blood, the avox turns away as you pull on the new baby pink dress. It’s black flats this time, and there’s no jewelry. You haven’t seen your mother’s ring in weeks, and it’s starting to worry you on what they did to it. Finnick could throw his away without guilt because it wasn’t attached to either of your parents.

However, yours is important. It’s the last thing that you have of hers. You don’t have her dresses, or her necklaces and other rings. That one engagement and later her wedding ring, is all you have of her. And since it was with her every single day, even after your father had passed, you want it back. You want it to be with you.

You should have asked Laurel or Elysia if they had seen it at all.

You pull your hair into a ponytail, not knowing if it’s smooth or not. It won’t matter to them, though.

Once you’re dressed, the avox goes and knocks on the door. The peacekeepers come in, and they handcuff your arms behind your back. You stare at the blood streak that leads down the hallway absently. There is no struggle and they don’t know this. You’ve kicked, and screamed and tried to bite them, and last time you ran.

For all they care, you’re going to try it again. Which is why they grab your ankles and walk you to the elevator. Your head falls back as you look off to the side, and you can see someone being moved rooms. It’s only when they resist, and you hear them shout when you see it’s Johanna.

“Jo--” you go to yell, but the peacekeeper is quick to shut you up.

She looks over anyway, shaking her head at you, and then she’s pulled into the room. She’s been through a lot more than you have. She’s just as starved as you are, her hair is shaved off, and she’s got scabs everywhere. She looked wet, so you’re guessing they’ve been using water against her.

Whatever works, you guess. You get whippings, and cuts and she gets drowned in water over and over. You wonder what Peeta has to endure. You wonder what Annie is getting, if she is. You haven’t heard her scream at all, while the other two on the other hand… when you’re not yelling for help or begging them to stop, they are.

You’re brought right back to the room from before. They release you from the handcuffs long enough to put them in front of you instead. The lady puts the white choker on your neck.

“Behave.” she warns you, and then she cocks her head to the side.

At the sight of the same man that gives you whippings, you nearly trip over your feet trying to get away from him. One of the peacekeepers catch you by your arm, but you’re still trying to get out of the room. Tears cloud your eyes once again as you shake your head desperately.

“I can’t do this--I can’t do this, please,” your voice breaks, “Don’t make me do this.”

“All you have to do is tell the districts to stop fighting, (Y/n).” Caesar tells you, “Ask Katniss and District Thirteen to stop this, and you can go back to your room.”

“Fail to do this and the next person that gets hurt is family.” the man tells you.

You flinch against the wall when you see the coiled whip in his hand. Just for his own pleasure, you watch as he lets it fall to the ground. You try to put your head down and sink to your knees but two things stop you. First is the choker, forcing you to keep your head up, while the peacekeeper yanks you back up to where you need to be.

“Are you going to cooperate?” she asks.

You blink the tears from your eyes and you want to shake your head but the dangerous look in the man’s eye tells you that he won’t hesitate to do it right here in front of everyone. And he won’t stop until you agree and get the lines right.

“Yes,” your voice is different, it doesn’t even sound like yours, “Yes I’ll ask for a cease fire.”

“Good.” the man says, and then he motions towards the chair.

You’re careful when you walk over, and you notice how peacekeepers stand in front of the door. And the woman behind the camera nods at the guy who’s in charge of the broadcast.

The guy with the whip plays with it slightly, a smile on his face as he locks eyes with you. There’s a countdown, and you don’t pay attention to it much, too afraid that if you tear your eyes away from him, that he’ll hit you with it.

Caesar’s voice scares you when he does start speaking, and you place your hand against your chest to settle yourself.

He doesn’t fuck around with telling them that you’re back and you want to tell them all something. He says something along the lines of ‘she’s been begging to appear again for this’ and then the cameras turn to you.

You swallow thickly, your eyes flickering to the whip, “End this, please. It’s not just you guys who are being affected anymore, it’s us too. What I said last time was wrong, putting down your weapons now is your best chance.

“It won’t be easy, but Panem can be put back together. Snow is willing to forgive the districts that give up quicker. But those who resist…” you trail off, head dipping slightly as you try to pick up on your train of thought.

The choker stabs you, and it makes your head jolt up.

“What happens to those who resist, (Y/n)?” Caesar asks.

You look at him with wide eyes, and then back to the camera, “They’ll all be killed. Every single one of you will be killed because you’re not--you’re not--” you shake your head, “You’re ruining the nation.”

There’s a snap, which makes you jump. A sob leaves you suddenly as you cover your mouth from being startled like that. You want them to cut the cameras, to finally let you go again, but the lady is snapping more and motioning for you to keep going. You can’t help but to curl in on yourself.

“I beg you to put down your weapons,” you sob, “Please, for us. For the people you’ll end up--”

The power then suddenly cuts, and you’re all left in darkness. You’re not sure if it’s relief or terror, but your sobs are louder and you pull your knees to your chest. You collapse in on yourself as the camera crew tries to figure out what’s happening.

Placing your head on your knees, you shake your head, “I want to go home. I want my family back. I want my life back, please.”

They take you back to your room, get you into the chair and leave. You know you’ve done your job well enough when there's silence in the entire building for a long time, and no one comes for you.

You slam your head against the headrest, though.

You can’t imagine what they’re thinking.

-- Chapter Fourteen --

They come in, they feed you, and they leave. They come in, take you to the bathroom, and they leave. They don’t speak, they don’t release you, they don’t torture you. They come in, they do what they have to do, and they leave the room until they need to come in again.

It’s always been avoxes. It’s not like they can speak anyway, but they don’t answer questions at all. They come in, do what they have to, and leave the room without another thought to it. Sometimes they’ll come in with medical equipment to take your temperature and test your reflexes, and only once have they actually used an ultrasound machine.

The baby is healthy, his heart is beating strong. Your bump is pretty prominent now, seeing as it’s been a few weeks. You’re four and a half months in, maybe. You don’t know how long you’ve been in the Capitol for. All you know is that you lost track of time a while ago.

You were three and a half weeks when you first found out, spent a week in the Capitol and two days inside of the arena, so that’s another week, right? And it’s been at least two, maybe three weeks since you’ve been here. Which levels it out to four and a half months, maybe a little less or a little more.

It feels like you’ve been here an eternity. The days begin to blend together when you’re doing the same thing everyday. When you’re not allowed to sleep or see the outside. The only time you get a hint of when it might be night time is when there’s an absence of doctors. But even then, there’s always people coming to check in on you.

Two hour intervals is what you heard. The avoxes come in every two hours to either feed you or take you to the bathroom, and then they leave. And in that case, you’ll never get to figure out when it’s day and when it’s night. You sleep when you can, which has been all the time for this past day.

Ever since the lights went out yesterday, it’s been particularly quiet. You overheard that it was the entire Capitol, and it wasn’t just this building. There’s still a little bit of power circulating, but it has to be directed to one place at a time. This means that something had happened to District Five.

They’re in charge of the power. It’s funny, how you were just telling them to lay down their weapons, and they made a move like they did. It’s a great way to say ‘fuck you’ but you can imagine that it was pre-planned. Your appearance was literally perfect timing.

Shortly after you came back to the room, Peeta went out though. You could hear him in front of your door, asking to not be put on air. Which is also weird that they went from you to him so quickly. In the same exact day.

You’re not sure what time he had returned, because you haven’t heard him talking at all. He might have said something he wasn’t supposed to inside of the room that got him in trouble, but there’s no way for you to tell. There’s nothing in this room besides a chair, and a camera.

No tv to see what is and isn’t broadcasted. You can’t see what they use Peeta for, and you can’t see how the districts respond. If you ever get out of here, you’ll have a lot to catch up on.

You close your eyes, wishing that the lights overhead were automatic so you’d finally be able to sleep in the dark again. But as your head falls and turns away from the light, it’s dark enough for you to doze off again.

—

The arena is dark when you open your eyes. The ground is damp, and you look to the sky to see that it’s night. The moon is the first thing you notice. It’s full, a sign of something new, change.

Even though it’s night, and not easy to see, you can catch the dark clouds still swarming the sky. It’s just rained, and by the way that the clouds are moving, and the rumbling of thunder with no lightning, it’s not finished just yet.

You push yourself off of the grass that you were laying in. You notice how you’re not soaked, but completely dry. You still wipe off the grass and clovers that have stuck your outfit when you stand.

Looking around, you squint, looking for something. Any sign of where you are, or how you got here. It isn’t until you hear the sound of rushing water, when you turn towards where it’s coming from.

You start towards it, tucking your hair behind your ears as you get closer. The sound of rain makes you cover your eyes with your hand. There is no water that falls from the sky, but you can still feel the pelting against your jacket.

You stop when you get to the sand, and you drop your hands to your sides too. Staring off into the water, your shoulders slump slightly. What is it that you’re looking for?

“You know—“ the familiar voice starts, you jump three feet into the air at the break of the silence. You spin around to see the dark haired boy you’d been searching for, “I made an effort to sit by you when you woke up, and you still wandered here.”

“Blaire!” You laugh, heading towards him.

He takes your hug in gratefully, but you can’t press your body against his much. Confused, you look down to see what’s between you, and it’s the baby bump. It’s made its way here after all.

“Congrats, again.” He motions, tilting his head slightly, “A boy, was it?”

“Yeah,” you press your hand against the bump, rubbing it slightly, “I’m happy it isn’t a girl that’s first.”

He raises his eyebrows at you, “Huh., and why's that?”

Blaire moves past you, going to sit on the wet sand. You follow behind him, taking your time, “Well, it’s tradition in my family that it’s a boy first so they can look after everyone that follows.”

“Bogus tradition to me.” He helps you sit, “I had an older sister.”

“You can’t tell me she didn’t look after you,” you look at him disapprovingly, and he has a smile.

“She did, you’re right.”

“I know.” You smile back at him.

He sighs suddenly, drawing a picture in the sand. You stare out into the water, a little amazed by how the moon reflects off the water. You’ve seen it before, of course. But it’s still cool to see every time.

“Well, let’s cut to the chase, because we both know you won’t be here long.” He says, you can see him glance up at you, but you don’t look at him, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He laughs, “Now that is new! Do I get to talk about my problems for once?”

“You have none.” You remind him, “What would you even have to complain about? You’re dead, you don’t have to live through mounds of shit anymore.”

Blaire frowns, “You do need to talk it out.”

You shake your head, pulling your legs in so you’re sitting criss-crossed, “Blaire, just this once I need to keep it to myself.”

“That’s not why you’re here,” he tells you, and you know he’s right, “You come here when things are overwhelming. You come here to talk to me instead of literally anyone else because you’re afraid of being a burden.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m right, you know that I’m right.”

“I don’t want you to be right,” you say, “I, for once, want to come here without a single worry in the world and enjoy everything that goes on here.”

He laughs, “Do you see the place? It’s been storming for several days straight, the pond-lake is about to flood!”

“It’s already flooding.”

“Just tell me what’s happening so you can go back to Finnick, or the games. Whatever it is.”

“The games have been over for weeks,” you shake your head, “It lasted two days.”

“What?” He asks, you finally look at him.

“The rebellion has started. I’m being held captive in the Capitol while Finnick sits in District Thirteen.”

“Wait, slow down. Rebellion?” He asks, and you nod, “And thirteen was destroyed—“

“Apparently not.” You look at the sand to see the picture he’s drawn. It’s a clock, “Why did you draw that?”

“Huh?” He looks down to see what you’re talking about, “I don’t know.”

You shake your head, rubbing your temples when a sudden headache comes on, “They’ve been torturing me the entire time. I’m surprised I’m not as skinny as I am out there.”

When there is no response to him, you look over to check to make sure that he’s okay. A scream leaves your mouth almost immediately when you see Finnick instead of Blaire.

He holds a whip in his hands, “Hi.”

“Finnick—“ you start, “No, you can’t be here--this is my safe place.”

It uncoils--

--

“Hello? Missus Odair?”

You jolt awake, pushing the pair of hands away from you. It’s bright in the room, white, you blink quickly, trying to get your eyes adjusted quicker. Being woken up from a dream turned a nightmare isn’t easy.

“Huh?” you ask, squinting because it still stings your eyes, but you can see the people in front of you.

Black, dressed in all black with helmets and guns. They stare at you hesitantly, almost as if you’re going to snap.

“What’s going on?” you want to move away from them, but they’ve almost got you surrounded on this chair.

“This is a rescue mission,” one of them tells you, “We’re from District Thirteen, we’re here to get you out of the Capitol.”

“Oh,” you say, nodding a little bit. You notice how you’re not strapped to the chair, but there’s still purple and red marks on your wrists, “Okay, did you get Peeta, Johanna and Annie?”

A different one smiles, “Yes we did.”

“Okay,” you say again, carefully getting out of the seat. Your legs are sore, and you wobble a little bit, “This isn’t a hallucination? This is real?”

“Yes, it’s real.” he tells you.

They help you stand for a moment while you come to terms with your surroundings. This is not the same room that you fell asleep in, it’s completely different. The hallway in front of you looks nothing like the other one.

You notice the cart off to the left, and head straight for it, curious on what the Capitol is giving back to you. You nearly cry when you see your wedding rings. Yours and Finnick's sit on this trolley. You turn back to the men.

“Sorry, can one of you hold onto these?” you ask, and they take them, “Don’t lose them, they’re our wedding bands.”

And then you turn back to unveil what’s sitting underneath a silk white cloth. You pull it out carefully to see that it’s the knife from the games. Either they’re teasing you, saying that you can’t escape what you came from, that all of this will stay with you, whether you like it or not. Or it’s a gift.

It was from Laurel and Mags. You pick it up and hold it to your chest and turn back to the other two that stare at you warily, “I’m ready to go now.”

They usher you into the hallway with the others. The second you step in, Annie has thrown herself at you for a hug. You hold onto her tightly, telling her that everything will be okay now.

Johanna laughs at the knife, “Still playing pretend?”

“Mags is dead,” is all you say back to her, and it’s enough to get her to knock it off.

They lead you out the way they came in. You pass by the rooms the others had been sitting in, as well as a bunch of cages in a single hallway. Annie asks what those could have possibly been used for, and your answer is ‘anything’. Avoxes, you guys, mutts, other unfortunate victors.

At some point they want to stop guiding Peeta the way they are, so you step in quickly. Johanna rolls her eyes at you, but you know she’s glad that you’re doing it for her. Peeta doesn’t jerk away like you expect him too, he’s mostly quiet and lets you do what you have to. Redirect him, sometimes your hand will drift up and down a little higher than you mean it to. You don’t even touch his back fully, it’s more of a hovering.

They get you to the courtyard, a place you haven’t been. And then that’s when they send wires down for them to reattach themselves. Peeta is the first that’s grabbed and starts to head up. You’re grabbed by some guy with dark brown hair who tells you to hold on tightly, and you do. Johanna and Annie follow back accordingly.

Once you guys are up and inside of the hovercraft, they shut the doors and begin to leave.

You lay against the floor, trying to ‘ground’ yourself--you’re in the air, above the Capitol--and tell yourself that you’re fine. This is the end of it, you’ll be home soon.

And then one of the people upfront finally say, “They’re online, their defense is online.”

-- Chapter Fifteen --

The hospital that they have set up in District Thirteen is much different than what they have back home in four, and what they had in the training center. Granted, it was a makeshift hospital in the training center, it was mainly used to torture you guys and it wasn’t meant for much more.

It’s not a pristine white in here, and you’re glad that it isn’t. The walls are blue, the floor is dirty from years of walking on it. The nurses and doctors are nice, and when you set down guidelines on what they can and can’t do, they told you that everything is up to you.

They had already checked your blood pressure, your temperature, your hearing and your reflexes to make sure that they were still in check. They did your hearing, your seeing and all while that was happening, checked up on the baby. They gave you an updated picture to stare at and keep you calm while they gave you some vaccinations.

When you all had arrived in here, Peeta was taken to a different room almost immediately, which makes sense. He looks the worst out of all of you, even though you and Johanna are pretty bad yourselves. The only lucky one out of this bunch has turned out to be Annie, and even then sitting inside that room without anyone to talk to had done a number on her.

“Get off of me!” Johanna protests, “Leave me alone for fuck’s sake--”

She tries to push off the people around her, but they’re just asking to take her blood pressure. At some point she had complained that she couldn’t breathe, so there’s a tube around her nose to make sure she can breathe just fine. It’s probably pissing her off that they’re all coming at different directions at one.

You would go over and tell them to get off of her, but she seems to have it handled. She’s her own person, she doesn’t need people to sit on top of her and dictate things for her. If the nurses won’t be as listening as yours are, then they’ll learn from all the mistakes they’re about to make from not leaving her be.

You look down at the picture again fondly. Running your finger over where his head is. Only a few more months now. The doctors tell you what you suspected. Four months and a week. You were off by some, but that doesn’t matter. You were so lost on everything that had happened out here, they can’t even blame you.

You said it on live tv. You told everyone that you were secluded and you weren’t allowed to know what was happening. But despite that they tried to get your opinion on things, which is funny. You’re still mad that you had showed up yesterday, at your lowest point you’ve been in a while.

The sound of the doors being pushed open and then a rapid pair of footsteps makes you look up. You flinch initially, going to cover your face, but you catch a glimpse of Katniss. Eyes searching for someone, her someone.

You settle, untensing your body as you try to go back to swinging your legs and focusing on anything but your back stinging, “(Y/n)?”

Your head shoots up, eyes landing on where the voice has come from. You slip off of the hospital bed, dropping the picture onto the bed as you take off towards him. Finnick meets you more than halfway, being careful not to slam into you too hard.

You squeeze him tightly, pressing your forehead against his chest. Tears start running from your eyes before you realize it, and you’re sobbing in his arms. He holds the back of your neck with one hand, and your back with another, “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

You laugh through the tears, “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, please.” he says, “It’s not your fault.”

You pull away from him for a moment, so you can take in his face. There’s fresh tears on his cheeks, and they continue to build up in his eyes. You reach up, cupping his face in both hands as you bring him to your face. You take a moment, just staring at each other, and then he kisses you.

He holds onto you tightly, almost like he’s afraid that you’ll slip through his fingers if he lets go. And when you two pull away, he’s taking in a small breath before kissing you briefly. Finnick kisses your lips, your forehead, your cheeks, everywhere he can get.

You laugh, smoothing his hair back when he finally calms down, “I missed you.”

“I hope.” he laughs, “We have a lot to talk about.”

“I know.” you tell him, and then you pull away from him suddenly, remembering something very important.

“What?” he asks.

“My family? Where’s Reed, Mox and Alyssum? Are they here?”

Finnick’s face drops slightly, “No, they aren’t.”

You press your hand to Finnick’s chest, moving him out of the way slightly as you look for Haymitch, he had come in with Finnick and Katniss. Your hand begins to fall from Finnick’s chest, but he grabs it and holds it between his hands tightly, not letting you go without him.

You pull him along as you look for Haymitch. You come to a part of the hospital that breaks into another hallway, which is where you find him. Standing with Katniss, and the same dark haired man that’s holding onto your wedding rings and knife.

“Hey!” you call, Katniss looks over at the sound of your voice, and so does the man, “Can I have my things back, please?”

It looks like he remembers instantly, and he digs through his pockets. The first thing is the knife, which you take and eventually hand off to Finnick to hold for a moment. Then the man hands off the rings too.

“Thank you.” you tell him, “I won’t forget this.”

You slide your ring onto your left ring finger, noticing how it’s so loose now. Your fingers are a lot more slender than they were before. It’ll take a couple of weeks, maybe even months to build back up into a healthy body weight, but you look forward to it.

You stare at Finnick’s silver wedding ring for a moment, slowly moving it over to him. It’s in perfect condition. There’s scratches, of course. From the years of wear and tear, and it looks like it needs to be polished too. Otherwise, it looks as good as it’s supposed to.

“Oh,” Finnick’s voice is soft, and he slides it onto his ring finger, “So much better.”

You laugh, but turn and catch Haymitch before he goes, “We need to talk.”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” he tells you, and then he cocks his head towards the room that Katniss has disappeared into. You get on your toes to see better, and you catch the back of Peeta’s head.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Good luck.” you tell him, and he nods before going in with Katniss.

You and Finnick head back to where you were before, sitting at your bed. You have to move the second pair of ultrasound pictures for you to sit, and Finnick even helps a little bit. Once you're sat down, he passes over the knife, still checking out the handle.

“Hey--isn’t that the special ones from the Capitol? The souvenirs?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, turning it over in your hand a little bit, “It’s real too.”

“It can’t be--” Finnick starts.

Just to prove him wrong, you hold out your forearm and slide the blade along it. It stings a little bit, since you’re quite literally tearing your skin open, but just as you thought, blood starts running.

Finnick isn’t as amused, he grabs the white sheets on the bed and presses it to your new wound, “You didn’t have to--”

“Honey,” you shake your head at him, and he quiets down a little bit, “A cut like this is nothing compared to the healing wounds on my back.”

His face twists, “What?”

Before you can tell him, there’s a loud crash from the back hallway. You spin the knife in your hand, bringing it up as you flinch to protect yourself. Finnick is so incredibly lucky that your thumb had missed the button, because he would be speared right now.

“Hey--” Finnick takes the knife from your hand, placing it on the bed behind you, “You’re okay.”

More crashing, but Finnick doesn’t make a move to see what it is. He almost protects his body with yours. You take deep breaths for a second, and then you look over to Annie to see she’s staring at the floor. This would be you, you and her would have so much in common right now if it weren’t for Finnick.

You look down at the ultrasound pictures, “It's a boy.”

“I know.” he moves some hair out of your face, “It was a little cruel to get a picture and a note rather than you telling me face to face.”

“I didn’t want to come back with a baby bump and say ‘surprise’!” you laugh breathily.

“We need a stretcher!” a voice yells.

Finnick moves out of your way so you can see what’s happening. It’s a long moment before they come back with the person. You sit up a little more when you see that it’s Katniss.

“What happened?” you ask.

“Peeta.” the dark haired man says, “He tried to strangle her.”

You slump, shaking your head as you look down at the ground, “I should have warned you about that. They used tracker jacker venom on us. I guess I might have been a little more resilient.”

“You’re sure?” a local doctor asks.

You shrug, “I don’t see why he would hate Katniss so much besides that. It’s used to mess with the brain, I used to read about it.”

Finnick nods, and then he moves back over to block the view. He pulls you against his body for a hug. You wrap one of your arms around his waist, trying to make him feel like he’s being squeezed. Even if you had both arms, it wouldn’t be the same because of the bump.

You two sit there in silence for a while. He doesn’t say a word to you, and you don’t say anything back to him, because there’s nothing that needs to be said. You’re safe, you’re back with him. You’re in his arms, and you won’t be going anywhere for a very long time.

You’ll be able to take these next few weeks or months and just relax. You can get used to these people around you, and you can fit into their schedule somehow. You’re sure that you can be helpful with at least something. You didn’t train endlessly in the most useless things now to just be seen as a nobody.

You’re a jack of all trades. Just the same as Finnick is.

A nurse approaches you two, “You can go now, we’ve got all your information on record. Come back if you have any concerns.”

“You don’t need to watch her overnight?” Finnick seems worried.

You wouldn't be able to stay in this place overnight. It might not be blindingly white, and it’s no replica of what they had in the training center, but the two are still comparable. You wouldn’t be able to last more than a day in here without going absolutely insane.

“She’s healthy,” the nurse assures him, “She will be given specially portioned food to work her up to what we normally eat, and she should come back every couple of days to check up on the baby, but other than that, she would have no other need to be here.”

Finnick nods slowly, and before he can say anything else for you, you shake your head, “Actually, there is something. Can we go into a private room for it, though?”

“Of course, just give me a moment.” she tells you, and then disappears into the hallway.

“There’s something else?” he asks.

“You’ll see.” you assure him, getting off of the bed, taking the knife and handing it off to Finnick. The nurse comes back and shows you the way to the room. No windows, it’s at the end of the hall.

You don’t sit down for this, you wait until the door is shut and then you approach it like how you approach scared kids, “It’s no reason to freak out, it doesn’t hurt much. I just can’t see it for myself, and since we’re already here, you might as well check it out.”

“Okay,” she nods, and she’s probably not expecting what you do next.

You’re very careful with the way you take off the gown. Slowly, one by one, you take off the buttons. And then, you toss it to the bed. The stitches stretch mildly, and you hold in the hiss you want to let out, because it could be much, much worse.

You turn your back to them, tilting your head to the side slightly. You can hear someone gasp.

“Oh my god, (Y/n),” Finnick says, “How…?”

“They had to punish me somehow,” you say, listening as the nurse goes through the cabinets for some disinfectant or something, “for being involved. For telling you guys to stay strong. They thought that they could get me to calm the districts down. He wanted me to tell you guys that this isn’t what we need, that we’ll overthrow the balance.”

“I’m going to touch your back,” the nurse warns you.

“Do what you have to. They stitched me up so I wouldn’t bleed on camera.” you laugh bitterly, “I can imagine how nasty they might look.”

“Not the cleanest.” the nurse admits, “But they’ve been done by someone who has an idea on how to do it. I’m going to clean some of the blood and then disinfect the ones that look fresh.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Finnick comes in front of you, looking you over.

“How does it look with the bear mutt scars?” there’s a smile on your face, “Cool?”

He doesn’t find this funny, “This should have been checked out first.”

“I almost forgot about them.” you tell him, “Of course, I can feel the stitches each time I move but I don’t really acknowledge it anymore.” you dip your head down, tilting your head to the side so your neck cracks, “I know that they’re there, but unless I’m being actively whipped, then there’s no reason to think about them anymore. You should have seen me strapped to that chair--”

You stop suddenly, the smile on your face dropping off. You close your eyes, shaking your head, because you can feel it coming on. You don’t want to see it again.

But there she is, laying dead on the floor. Hair soaked in blood. The streak she left when she was dragged out of the room. How pale and lifeless her body was.

“(Y/n)?” Finnick sounds worried, he’s directing your chin up, trying to get you to look at him, but you’re lost, “Hey, you’re okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whisper, “It’s my fault.”

“Nothing is your fault.”

You suddenly focus on Finnick, and it’s the same moment that the nurse warns you about the stinging right before it happens. Fortunately for you, it’s not the same white hot pain that you had gotten from the whippings, but it has the same sting. Like a bad aftertaste.

“Stop!” you arch your back in, clenching your teeth at the sting, “Stop.”

It’s all too much. Seeing Mags dead on the floor and having a sting like that. It feels like punishment all over again.

“I’m sorry--”

“No, I’m fine.” you close your eyes, taking in a deep breath, “I’m fine, I was just surprised. Try again.”

She does, and this time you’re much more capable of taking it. You look to Finnick now, trying to steady yourself before you deliver the news. There should be a time and a place for things, but you have to tell him before you forget and he tries to mention it in a giddy moment.

“There’s this one this that is my fault,” you begin slowly, holding up your finger when Finnick tries to interject, “I’m not some saint, they had to make me pay after what I said to you guys.”

He waits patiently, and that look of innocence in your eyes is what pains you the most. Because he’s not ready for this.

“Finnick, they killed Mags.” you wait for your own tears to come but there are none. You watch Finnick’s face almost emotionless because you’ve cried all your tears. You screamed, you fought, you begged. You beat yourself up that entire fucking time, and you’re still tearing down your inner walls.

“They…” he looks confused, shaking his head.

“She was already dead when she was thrown in my room.” you tell him, “She wasn’t… I don’t think she suffered. She didn’t have any wounds from what I could see.”

Except the one on the back of her head, and that was because they had literally thrown her in like a ragdoll. She cracked her head on the floor, and continued to bleed until there was nothing left.

“I’m sorry.” you tell him, and then for the rest of the time, you bask in every sting, every pull at the wound, every single pain you could get out of it. Eventually you’re clenching your hands, and the cut on your arm has stopped bleeding.

Finnick looks so gone. He moves for a towel and holds it against where your arm is bleeding, but eventually you have to take over.

“You can go, Finnick.” you say, “You don’t have to be here, I can have someone else show me the room.”

“I--” he tries to tell you no, the words won’t come out, though.

You’re still here, protecting him as always. Like a shield, only you fail miserably at your job. At trying to make sure that he doesn’t feel like this. Worried, sad, lost, hopeless, angry. And yet, you take every single arrow to the heart and still pass on the information to him as it comes.

You’re the one that gives him the bad news. A grim reaper, and you just don’t stop.

You bite back the tears, feeling how swollen your throat is getting again, it won’t be long before you’re crying, “I’ll be fine. Go, grieve.”

Finnick looks like he wants to take the offer, but there must be something in your face that changes his mind, because he shakes his head. His face wipes completely clean, and his eyes are no longer innocent. He’s focused, determined. He wants to stay here, for you.

“You don’t have to be fine,” is what he tells you, “I’ve had my time of grieving, you’ve given me plenty of time. It’s your turn now, my love.”

The nurse finishes up in this moment, and she tells you that you’re free to go whenever. She tells you that you should remind the doctor or nurse you see next time you come in for the baby check up, since it’ll be on your record but they won’t ask unless you mention it.

And then she leaves the room to you and Finnick.

“I’ve cried my tears.”

“Stop being strong for once,” he says, cupping your face, “I can be that for you. It doesn’t have to be permanent, or it could be forever if you want. Because I’m here for you, just like you’ve been here for me. I know you think you owe me, but you don’t.” he pulls you in for a hug, only going around your neck because your back is completely exposed right now, “I love you. And I’ll never stop loving you for who you are. But you need to give yourself a break, for all of us.”

-- Chapter Sixteen --

Finnick pulls you tightly into his side, “It’s only for a few minutes.”

“I’m not bothered by the people, Finnick.” you mutter.

The entire place just seems to throw you off. You’re not bothered by the fact that they live underground, or that they all dress the same and eat the same, and have the same space for rooms, because that’s how it should be. Everyone has things distributed equally to avoid fighting.

However, that doesn’t always work, and some people are going to end up despising each other, whatever. Coin has things running as smoothly as she can, considering this place is just one big bunker. And there’s a bunker under this bunker. It’s weird, but you guess that’s how reinforcements work.

Anyway, you’re bothered by the fact that Katniss is still a teenager, and they’re using her as the face of their rebellion. The girl is sixteen or seventeen now, she’s still a child. Sure, the districts are looking to her for help, because it was her act of defiance, but at the same time, it’s completely bullshit.

She has no idea what she’s doing. Haymitch, Plutarch and Coin are using her as a pawn. Coin had set limitations and rules for getting you guys out of the training center when the first opportunity came. Finnick had to tell you all of this to catch you up on how things run, and since you haven’t looked at Coin the same.

It’s because District Thirteen was angry at Peeta for asking everyone who’s fueling the rebellion to stop. He wasn’t being tortured before that, but he was after, and they all still held that prejudice against him. And because Coin likes to keep her people happy, she didn’t necessarily agree with Katniss’ terms at first.

The fact that Katniss had to threaten Coin to get you guys out of there, pisses you the fuck off. If it weren’t for Katniss, then you wouldn’t have been out of there yesterday. If she hadn’t demanded that what you guys said while under control of the Capitol was forgiven and you would be treated as normal, then you would have something against you right now.

So many people would have a right to be angry at you for begging and pleading the same way that Peeta had.

Coin isn’t as perfect as she seems, and you can see right through it. She tries to put on the good guy act, but it still looks like it’s too tight for her. She’s not conforming to it well, there’s something else she’s after, and you’re not too thrilled to be the first to dig it up.

Coin walks up to the microphone, you pull Finnick into you a little tighter. People around you are clapping and cheering. You try to block most of it out.

“Good evening,” she begins, “Yesterday, I authorized a covert rescue mission inside the Capitol. I am pleased to announce that the victors have been liberated!”

The cheering and clapping around you resumes. You tilt your head and wince at the volume, Finnick presses a kiss to your forehead.

It reminds you of the train stations, and the tribute parades, and the interviews. The non-stop cheering that they gave because you were there to fight for their pleasure.

“Let this day mark a historic change, with the Mockingjay and the victors beside us, we have sent a clear message to the Capitol. That we will never again endure injustice.” more cheering, “Today, a day on which we reunite family--” she looks over to you and Finnick. You can feel Finnick lay his head on yours slightly, and you try to force a smile, “--friends, and loved ones.

“Let all of Panem come together. Not to battle for the amusement of the Capitol, but to join hands in this fight!” cheering, again, “Let today be the day we promise never to give up, never to give in, until we have made a new Panem. Where leaders are elected, not imposed upon us, and where the districts are free to share the fruits of their labors and not fight one another for scraps!

“This new Panem is on the horizon, but we must take it for ourselves. The road there leads through the sharp mountains and deep ravines of District Two.” Accurate, they’re the closest to the Capitol. And as you said before, it will be a hell of a rebellion because it will be impossible to fight over mountains like those. The Capitol is tucked away perfectly.

Coin continues, “There, in the heart of Panem's steepest mountain range lies the Capitol’s principal military facility. We can conquer this stronghold, because we are one people, one army, one voice, because today is our new beginning. Today, we have freed the victors. Tomorrow, Panem!”

She lifts her arm, and you almost cover your ears when you hear everyone erupting into cheering again. It’s overwhelming. You mess with Finnick’s wedding ring slightly, since you can’t wear your own. He doesn’t seem bothered by this, knowing that you need some sort of distraction.

The crowd then goes in sync for the cheer that District Thirteen. A hoo-rah sort of thing with their fists and shit. You and Finnick don’t do it, instead you two almost stick out like sore thumbs.

Soon, the crowd is dispersing, going back to where they need to be to continue their jobs and whatnot. You and Finnick have nowhere specific to be, and you’re going to take advantage of it.

“We need to see Haymitch,” you say, grabbing Finnick’s hand as you begin to pull him to the elevator.

“Why?” he asks, “Don’t you want to sit down and relax?”

“I can’t.” you tell him, “I can’t relax. I could hardly sleep last night.”

He laughs, “That explains a lot.”

You glare over your shoulder, “Just because we’re married doesn’t mean you don’t have to stop being a gentleman, dick. We’re going to see Haymitch to talk about Reed, Mox and Alyssum.”

In the elevator, you close the guard railing and Finnick presses the button. He knows this place a lot better than you do, he’s been here for a couple of weeks.

“Please tell me you’ve considered the fact that they’re not…” he doesn’t say the word.

“They weren’t in the Capitol.” you shake your head, “And they’re not here, so they have to be in District Four. If Snow could get his hands on Annie, then he could have gotten his hands on them too. Unless, he couldn’t.”

“Where else would they go?” he asks, “They would have checked Caspian’s house too.”

You smile, “Here’s the thing, my mom and dad had plenty of friends around the district. People who used to check up on us. I’m taking a bet that they’re hiding them right now.

“That lady that was in that broadcasting room with me said that my family was next.” you shake your head, “But they would have gone for them first. It’s exactly what they’ve done in the past. They killed your family, they killed Johanna’s family…”

It dawns on Finnick, “You’re right.”

“I know I am.”

The elevator stops, and Finnick pulls up the railing, and then takes your hand as he guides you around the floors to where Haymitch may or may not be. You ask about the control room, but he says that suggesting it to Haymitch first is the smartest move. Then you guys can go ahead and propose it to Plutarch, not Coin.

Of course, she runs this place, she’ll have to make all the decisions in the end, but you don’t want her in on the rough draft. When you propose it to her, you want to be ready to give her the information that she needs. Whatever that may end up being, you don’t know just yet.

You and Finnick stop outside a particular hospital room. He tells you to wait out in the hall for a moment while he goes in.

You know that your family could very well be dead already, and you’ll be going through all this trouble for nothing. But you try first and you’ll give up way, way later down the line. You stick to a plan, because being indecisive will get you nowhere.

There’s plenty of people that they could have gone with. Reed is smart, though, he wouldn’t have just gone with Caspian’s family. Everyone in the district knows that your families are close, connected. Even peacekeepers know this, so to go there would be an automatic bust.

It can’t be Annie’s family or Mags’ house, because again, you were seen around there all the time. Those houses had to have been searched up and down, along with Finnick’s. The peacekeepers take no chances, you bet that if you go back to your victor house, you’ll see that it’s ripped apart.

Broken glass, vases, cupboard doors ripped off the wood. Couches turned upside downs, beds ripped from their posts. Curtains would be ripped, floorboards pried, they wouldn’t leave anything unbroken. Their job would be to wreck it and make it obvious if anyone has been there.

The same goes for your old house. The tv is probably broken, the tub is moved from its place, the old mirror is shattered, your parents wardrobe is nothing but splinters. Anything and everything would be gone forever.

There’s probably a few fishermen that they might have gone to see. If Reed is smart, then he would have split up too. Reed would go one place, Mox would go to another, and Alyssum to a different place. More specifically, someplace where she feels most comfortable. Reed would probably let her pick, and then he would have gone to that person to make sure it’s okay.

Finnick comes out of the room with Haymitch and Plutarch.

You peek around them now, since you weren’t being nosy before. And just as you had suspected, it’s Katniss’ room. The doors behind her shut, and you focus on Haymitch and Plutarch. However, you’re suspicious again of Finnick because that took longer than it needed to.

“I have to ask your guys’ opinion that will eventually turn into a favor.”

“Okay,” Plutarch nods.

“As I’ve told everyone by now, my two brothers and sister aren’t in here or in the Capitol. I have a feeling that they’re still in District Four.”

Haymitch’s face twists, “Didn’t they grab Annie from your district?”

“They did, but I had made a few precautions before volunteering for the games. Granted, I didn’t know a rebellion would be happening, so I couldn’t tell them what to do in that case.” you vaguely motion with your hand, “But my oldest brother is smart, he would have gotten them somewhere safely.”

“It’s possible.” Plutarch says, “So what’s the favor?”

“Can you guess?” you ask, eyeing Finnick slightly when he starts to shift nervously, “I want to get in contact with a few people, and you have the resources to do that, don’t you?”

He makes a face, “I haven’t been able to talk to my associates in the Capitol in awhile.”

You pucker your lips for a moment, “Well, lucky for you, we’re talking about District Four, not the Capitol.”

“It’s dangerous,” Haymitch finally says.

You tilt your head, “Getting us out of the Capitol was dangerous. What I’m asking, is a few phone calls.”

“That would escalate to getting them out, right?” Plutarch asks.

“No,” you tell him, “If they’re alive and safe, then I am completely fine with leaving them in four.”

“And if they’re not?” Haymitch asks.

You bite your lip for a moment, “I want to at least say goodbye. You’re underestimating me. I won’t endanger people on the possibility of getting them out.”

Plutarch shakes his head, “I can check later—“

“Cool.” You nod, “Send someone for me when you do. Because I’m not going to let you lie to my face later.”

And then you look at Finnick, “I know you didn’t tell them to tell me no. Don’t act like a child.”

“It’s… it’s a possibility that they’re alive, okay? But I just got you back. You need to slow down.” He reaches for you, but you pull away from him.

You hold up a finger, “Do not tell me to slow down. I did not come back from the Capitol to be treated like a child and be told to slow down.” You look at Plutarch, “We will be doing everything we can to contact District Four tonight. And you will be sending someone to get me, because if you don’t?

“You’re going to see what real fucking hell looks like. I have done my part, I have suffered enough, and you guys owe me. And it will be a very long time until you don’t owe me anymore.”

You look at Finnick, “Don’t follow me.”

You turn and head towards the fire escape staircase. It’ll be hell going down it, but you need to be anywhere but here right now. You need somewhere quiet to sit until you’ve collected your head.

You can’t fucking believe he just said that to you. He just told you to calm down when your family is missing. You have no clue where they are. They could be dead and you don’t have a goddamn clue.

Their bodies could be buried next to your parents. Snow could have tortured them the same as they did you. They could have died by the worst fucking fate. Right alongside Annie and Caspian’s family. They all could have edited together because they were associated with you in some way.

And you just wouldn’t know.

You’d rather find out now. You’d rather know, right fucking now. So you can have all of your traumas tied together in a little bow like a bouquet of flowers. Hand it all over at the same time, so you can swallow the gigantic pill.

Because, let’s recap on everything that you have gone through the last couple of weeks. The hunger games, two new brand new deaths on your pretty little hands. Being in the hands of the Capitol. Being whipped, and poisoned and humiliated. Then there comes in Mags, and here comes your family.

You just want them to be somewhere safe. You want to be able to actually close your eyes at night without another worry. Because you’ll know that they’re all in their different safe houses. That there are people looking over them, and feeding them, and telling them updates.

They haven’t heard or seen anything from you. They need to know that you’re okay. That you’re someplace safe and you’re recovering. So they can settle down and relax just the same as you are.

They are everything you have. They come first. They have to. You’d love to believe that you would be able to solely survive off of Finnick if they died but it’s just not realistic. If all three of them are dead, you’re going to be shattered, into a hundred thousand little pieces.

After that, there’s no putting yourself back together. And despite this, you have this itch to know if they are okay or if they’re dear. It’s like running in circles. One train of thought that leads you absolutely nowhere.

Just to hear their voice would be a relief.

You get to the floor with the actual hospital pretty quickly. It makes sense for it to be split up, since they need to have plenty of rooms and all that bullshit. Plus, Johannas room is kinda secluded.

No one wants to put up with her. But you do. You know you can handle her, and if anything, her presence is going to be something else.

You and her have a similar personality. A fire, a flame that ceases to be put out. You could take away all that oxygen and you would still survive.

You stop a nurse along the way and she tells you the room number. She warns you about Johanna’s behavior and you tell her that she’s not much to handle.

You knock on the door once before opening it up. Johanna looks like she’s going to snap your head off, and then she relaxes considerably.

“Look who it is.”

You shut the door behind you, “Distract me.”

She raises her eyebrows, “What? Are you going to fight someone? Let them get their ass kicked, everyone here is a bunch of assholes anyway.”

“I wish I could.” You sit in the chair, “But Finnick would find a way to overpower me. I’ve got a tumor attached to my body.”

She laughs, “Finnicks got on your nerves? Has your honeymoon phase finally run out? I have a list of complaints and I’d be happy to start at any time.”

“Go right ahead.” You motion, “I’m sure it’s got to be good.”

Johanna opens her mouth for a moment, and then she closes it. Like a fish gasping for air, it looks like she’s lost what she’s wanted to say.

“Why are you here?” She asks when she’s recollected her thoughts, “I know it’s not to bash on him.”

You take your time explaining everything to her. Letting her know every bit of your opinion and view about the situation. And then you agree with Finnick to some degree, but she stops you before you get too ahead of yourself.

“You’re right, don’t doubt that.” She rolls her eyes, “Any sane person would worry about family like that.”

“So, I’m not going crazy, thanks.”

“Or we’re going crazy together,” Johanna muses, “Have you ever thought about asking Annie if she ever saw your family?”

You shake your head, “No, and I have a reason for that too. Because Reed, Mox and Alyssum would have been out of that house at the first sign of trouble.”

“You know they made everyone stay in their houses when the cameras got shut off to the games, right?” She asks, “They couldn’t have left.”

“They can’t hide in a victor house.” You try to reason, “They’re all built the same.”

Johanna snorts, “Yeah, and crawl spaces can be built too. Don’t be so narrow-minded.”

“I would know if they tried anything like that.”

“Did you end up sealing your basement, then?” She asks, “Every house has a basement.”

“And an attic.” You sigh, “Four floors, with six rooms and three bathrooms. With an office, and a place to sew and even a closet space!” You lean forward, “Did you know about the closet space?”

Johanna laughs, “How were our house tours the exact same?”

“The district reps are all the same. Mine had tried to be upbeat for me after I got mad at her.”

“This has got to be good, there’s endless possibilities.”

You smile, shaking your head, “I got annoyed at her bombarding me and then I mocked her accent.”

“Oh!” Johanna leans back against the pillows, “That’s a good one.”

“It was right after we had won the games. I was up and moving around and trying to talk to Mags…” you trail off for a moment, playing with the navy blue jumpsuit, “And it just came out.”

“You should see how many people I’ve pissed off.”

“I’m sure it’s a very long list.” You muse.

“I’m surprised you’re not on it.” She taps her fingers against the metal bars on the bed.

You look at her, confused, “I have no reason to?”

“You do. With me directing the nurses on you and all. Making them think that you knew more than you did.” Johanna gets quiet for a moment, “I’m sorry about that.”

“Apologies don’t look good on you.” You tell her, “And it was a strategy. They would have come after me either way. You just made it better.”

“All decoration, no filling.” She nods.

-- it ends here --

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair tacenda #tacenda #tacenda alternate storyline

[ccalhoun]

Oh also another one for our dear Dano!Riddler because I love him too!! X male reader with optional smut ideas.

Maybe Edward is with a psychiatrist!reader in Arkham.

NSFW Ideas:

- They could become bonded and it leads to yknow kinda like harley quinn’s situation.

- Maybe Edward notices that the guards are too preoccupied to notice if he slips out one time, going into reader’s office, surprising him.

“I just couldn’t wait til’ our next session.”

Confesses his attraction and yeah sex happens lmao idk.

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

Edward Nasthon x Psychiatrist!Male!Reader

req: yes!

warnings: male reader, bottom reader, reader can be read as trans or cis, top Edward, possessive Edward, Edward Nashton is a bit of a creep, sweet Edward, canon typical violence, psychiatrist x patient, fluff and smut, kind of short

note: sorry this took so long! i started writing a oneshot to go with this and forgot to actually post these

cut for length!

you were a psychiatrist at Arkham, working there because the human brain has always interested you

a new patient was admitted, Edward Nashton. You were the only psychiatrist that he would talk to so you two became close very quickly.

You both had weekly meetings where you learned that Edward was sweet and smart, he enjoyed riddles and puzzles (though he solved most of them quickly)

His favorite color was green so you often wore green outfits which he complimented profusely.

None of your colleagues understood how you could effortlessly get him to open up, but didn't complain as it at least helped him get better.

You got a special green pen for Edward, he loved to write and draw while you two talked so you figured a small gift wouldn't hurt anybody.

you went to your session as normal, setting down the paper and new pen you got for Edward. The therapy session went as every session did except that you didn't get the pen back from Ed.

Edward had waited until the guards were idly distracted, one watching the tv in their office and the other out using the bathroom. Ed had taken the pen apart and used it to quietly break out of his cell.

He didn't plan on escaping though, no, he was going to visit you.

You heard a knock on your office door, you got up, and answered it only to see Edward's 6'0 figure standing over you.

Edward's hand shot over your mouth and shoved you into your office, he closed and locked the door behind you two.

Explanations of what he was doing tumbled out of his mouth before you shushed him and asked why he broke out of his cell to see you when you two had a session earlier that day.

He ended up telling you that he loved you and needed you to know it, he thought of you every day and he even told you how attractive he finds you.

You had to admit, he was attractive himself and was nice. If he wasn't a patient you would probably date him, so you told him that.

"What's stopping you from dating me now?" "I don't see a problem with you dating me," and things of those sorts came from Edward, he wanted to date you and do more with you than just sessions where you assessed if he was mentally sane.

He gave some compelling arguments and you agreed under the condition he doesn't tell anyone about it.

Edward kissed you he was so happy and he was a surprisingly good kisser, his hands were on your hips and yours were tangled in his hair.

He backed you onto your desk and one thing led to another which led to Edward fucking you while you were bent over your desk. He was gentle and knew exactly how to make you cum.

After that, you were extra careful to cover up your tracks. At least once a week, Edward said he would only talk to you if there were no cameras in the room and no one watching you two. That always either led to you getting fucked or you two cuddling in the room.

Edward also went out of his way to make your time a little easier. A patient is giving you shit? Whoops! They seem to have been killed under mysterious circumstances.

Your boss is being an asshole? He'll be sure to get at least one punch in the next time he sees the old prick.

You were just the small, helpless, adorable psychiatrist to him! Even when you two are intimate it shows.

He loves that he's taller than you, it turns him on. When he's fucking you, he likes to hold your hand or press his chest against your back and cover your form.

He loves pet names that show belonging to him (my baby, my sweet boy, stuff like that)

If you also use pet names like that I think he would instantly dedicate his life to you

You're his and he's yours, which means he does get jealous but let him bend you over your desk and slowly thrust into you until your begging for more and he'll feel ok again!

Once your boss almost catches on, Ed quickly covers up with the clever plan to fake attack you during a session. He put on the act of being pissed all day and lunged at you when you opened the door. The guard saw and reported it, meaning you two got to keep dating after all!

Once he gets his official "sanity" certificate, he is let free and you two start living together.

Eventually, you're able to quit your job at Arkham and get a new one, Ed appreciates being able to see you more.

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

#ccalhoun #edward nashton #edward nashton x you #edward nashton x reader #male reader #ftm reader

[venusandsaturnsrings]

I was thinking abt incel childe all DAY while waitressing at work and kept dropping things and moved at a snails pace when I thought too hard,,,, and all my silly lil brain could muster up was "childe wouldn't let me work for other people like this, I'm too fucking cute for this"

So then it made me think of like what'd he'd do if he was reader's boss or if he ever visited her at work. Like him noticing her mess up every now and then and thinking how he'd train her to be a better housewife for him

IDK IF ANY OF THIS MADE SENSE BUT LIKE MY BRAIN HAS BEEN SO HEAD EMPTY EXCEPT FOR INCEL CHILDE

ALL OF THIS MAKES SENSE!! if im being totally honest a solid 20% of my posts have been made while im at work... ill write down a couple sentences once in a while and i'll be done far faster that i should be LMAO which is so funny bc im one of the best workers in my division and yet i write incel childe fanfic when im on shift... ANYWAYS you get two small bits for each of these scenarios, congratulations!! no explicit content, just incel childe being himself <33

if he was your boss, you know damn well he was just keeping you around as something pretty to look at. the quality of your work doesn't matter when he's fisting his cock in his office half-hoping you'll walk through the door. he also only had basic requirements for work attire prior to hiring you. promptly, this down bad fellow, he designed and had made custom uniforms for all the staff. it was a rather high-end restaurant so he certainly couldn't expose as much of you as he'd like but, he made due. did he purposefully have your skirt made shorter and your top cut lower than the rest? yes, but you wouldn't dare point it out to your boss. if he didn't see it as a problem then neither should you. he also tended to hover around more while you worked. if anyone ever gave you trouble or behaved slightly inappropriately he would personally deal with them. you thought he was just a nice guy until the rest of the female waitstaff started complaining about how he never did that for him. they were envious and you could feel it.

it came to a head at one point when a girl made a rather pointed comment about how you were probably hooking up with him. the tears came rather quickly and you headed to his office to have him stop helping you, dispel the thoughts of the others, or just quit. you could find work elsewhere if needed. when you entered the room with watery eyes and a soft tremble to your words it took everything in him not to go and break the nose of the girl who said such horrible things to you. instead, he placed one hand on your shoulder and grabbed your own with the other.

"you shouldn't have to deal with this, sweetness. though it is true that i've had my eye on you... how 'bout you quit and let me take care of you for real, hm? i'll treat 'ya extra good, promise." <3

if he worked elsewhere and decided to stop in every once in a while to have you serve him, it'd be a bit different. he doesn’t have to hold back on any impulses to save face or keep raking in money.

his stops weren’t frequent. Ajax loved being able to surprise you so he’d make sure not to warn you beforehand. he’d ask for a table in your section and wait until you came by. he wasn’t all that hard to miss considering the bright ginger hair and such. but, it always brightened your day to see him. on this particular day, nothing seemed to go right for you. you’d keep missing important notes on orders, spill drinks, and otherwise mess up what should’ve been easy tasks. it was frustrating to say the least and Ajax got a front row seat to every second. he’d placed his head on one hand and drummed softly against the table with the fingers of the other. it was amusing to him but upsetting to you. he always did find pleasure in your suffering. when you finally got to him, he held a look you saw too often on his face; a knowing and pitiful smile.

“havin’ a hard time, girlie?” his voice came out softer than you had expected. usually, he’d pop out a couple teasing remarks before showing his concern. he was skipping the middle man for once. “it’s hard being such a cute girl, huh? and it’s hard having real tasks to do when you should be at home takin’ care of me and our place.” he pretended to think deeply for a few seconds. “say, what do ‘ya think about quitting finally? you shouldn’t be out here working for obvious reasons. i know you wanna so just do it.”

“be my little housewife for real, okay?” <3

#ooo my boy #my lover #:) #incel childe #chit chats

[charmedreincarnation]

honestly i’d like to say something. ppl may get mad but so be it. that unique blog always gave me terrible vibes. the way she spoke set off alarms. and tbh, this is exactly what another blog tried to talk about the other week, but the blogs shooed her away. that’s the problem. can anons be hell? of course but can we please stop sliding over blogs now. all the anons and blogs seem to have this issue. only like 3 blogs are truly trustworthy. at some point we have to ask ourselves, if someone is living their dream life, how do they have time for this? the drama? the constant “now im taking a break” or “im logging off” but getting back on the next day or a second later. the constant jumping on others because they disagree. i see blogs being sad about what they have been called, but those blogs were involved with bullying and calling that other blog who simply questioned the community. her name was justsleepx or something. remember how she got called a cunt and other names by some popular bloggers? remember how the blogs spiraled? (that situation showed you guys who to trust btw but y’all aren’t hearing me. nobody ever does until they finally blow tf up in your face, like unique did :) remember how unique chimed in the justsleeping situation??? i’ve been here time and time again when i know a blogger is problematic and i am always right. unique is not the only blogger who is problematic and not living the way they claim. these bloggers show it themselves but some of you are so damn lost. you guys couldn’t even notice how much of a problem unique was and people were ready to believe the bs excuse, apology, or whatever she delivered. blogs and anons are so out of touch with common sense. idk why. 😭 so yea, we see unique is not who she says she is. isn’t she one blogger that everyone worshipped? so what will it take for you guys (speaking in general) to stop placing your trust and everything in these bloggers? will they all have be exposed or will everyone finally gain some sense. LMAO and we have to be real here, there are some more questionable blogs but i’m not here to expose. i hope everyone pulls it together but is this community even a safe space?? i mean really. i even made my own blog then deleted this week bc it’s like, tf will this do for me besides make my life worse? 💀 beware of the blogs being in drama constantly. beware of the blogs who are up here all the damn time. beware of the blogs period because we do not know these people. you take what may resonate and you fucking go. how many more “scandals” do we need for bloggers and anons to stop being dumb like this? people love tough love. well here’s some real shit for you. any one of these blogs could be just as full of shit as unique, the important thing is yourself. it’s too many blogs and anons spiraling. it’s too much bs. i just want this to be everyones final push, stop just believing these blogs. they are random strangers. sure success stories can be motivating but man, you can need your own story. you’ll get there. some light and truth is needed in this community and you’ll never get it with blogs hiding their hands as if they are just right and should be believed. you’ll never get it with anons fueling shit or not having proper manners (blogs too). i’m still seeing bloggers complain and anons but y’all are the ones who contribute to bs. let’s be real FINALLY 👁️👄👁️ you are the only blogger i see calling unique out properly. the rest are just lacking some sense LMAO. let today be the fucking change. get y’alls shit together. no way anyone is living their dream life but up here acting stupid and have time for drama every chance they get. i’ll leave on that note. hopefully i can get my loser ass out of this community once and for all. i’d like to recommend some blogs but i don’t want problematic ass anons or bloggers getting near them. i have to gatekeep 😔 just find your way and let the drama drop dead. don’t let what i say anger you, please let it just influence us to be better. #happymanifesting

Happy manifesting ! And literally everything you said was facts to the max. Regardless of everything you have access to your desired life no matter how many people lie or ruin this community. It has nothing to do with your journey and desires and no matter what happens or “who” just remember you’re god and keep going on. No god is phased by any short comings in the community and you already have the power by yourself alone to have everything you want in this world and “others” for my shifters 💓

[ajxrn]

rant under the cut . doubt anyone will see it but who cares anymore.

.

I’m tired of not being interacted with.

I always have to start the conversation. My ask box is empty 24/7. Maybe once in a while someone else will start a convo with me. I constantly get notes and I look and its just the kosa post I made. I might turn rbs/notifs off or delete it at this point. Someone I thought was my friend fucked up our friendship and I realized they didn’t actually value me in the first place. I joined the discord right when everything fell apart and practically everyone left. Half of my friends aren’t online often. I’m active in the discord and try to fucking fix everything and keep it lively and fun for everyone and it feels like nobody else fucking cares as much as I do.

idk.

I’m just really lonely and I feel like nobody cares to speak with me yknow. I reblog or make ask games, and I don’t get asks any asks. I tag friends in posts and they don’t rb or just acknowledge them. People always liked and never reblogged my art so I gave up posting it. I don’t get tagged in stuff and that made me hate picrew/reblog chains so I don’t do them anymore. Im always initiating conversations. I vent too much and complain and I can be rude so maybe that puts people off from me.

I just feel like I have stressed myself by trying to put in so much effort just for others to…not? Even back then when I was an anon. I would send rambles and ask people about their day and be super friendly just for..barely any response.

The last time my friends seemed to care so much was when I made my suicide note post at like, what, 14? I was begged to stay. People said they loved me so much and I mattered a lot to them.

..And then the next day it went back to no interaction.

I have ONE fucking irl friend and I’m grateful to have her and she means the world to me but fuck I’m so lonely. I even just talk to my animals like people at this point. I try to send asks to friends and they never get answered or the replies are short. Nobody sees my posts despite the fact I have 44 followers. Which irritates me. And half of those people followed for art and I can’t even do that anymore.

i feel like everyone liked me better when I was in the Lu fandom and under the different name. I got way more interactions back then. People saw my art more even though it was bad. Friends sent asks and DMs. People responded to my tagging. I would reblog ask games and I’d GET asks. I would post something and it would get attention. But now it’s so empty.

I used to post a headcanon about a character and people would say they loved it. Now I do it and it goes unnoticed. I talk about shit I like now and nobody fucking cares. Nobody listens. It pisses me the fuck off. Oh but if I came back as old me and started talking about lu again I’d get SOO much fucking attention.

I saw friends talk to eachother in huge reblog chains. I saw people reblog their mutuals posts all the time. Constantly answering asks. Talking about dm conversations. Everyone I was friends with. It feels like being in a huge circle of people yet everyone forgot about you. Even when you cut people off they didn’t notice. And that really shows that you weren’t of value in the first place. They didn’t care. You meant nothing to them. There was always someone who mattered more.

I feel invisible and honestly unwanted. And that really fuels my whole abandonment issues. Its so nice knowing people will leave you because they always have someone who’s more important. Someone they favor. Someone more valued.

I could post a suicide note right now and suddenly people would care. People would want to talk to me. People would ‘like’ me.

that really shows that people don’t care until your gone.

#rant #Alexa play that one audio of the sad song mixed with shimmy shimmy ay shimmy ay shimmy yah #edit: what was I on when I wrote this dawg #edit again: I KEEP REREADING THIS ONE HELP WHAY WAS I ON??

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

IDK if your taking requests 🥺👉👈 But if it's open... Could you maybe write an imagine with chishiya, where Niragi trys to get under his skin by making chishiya's s/o uncomfortable 😱

Cruel Entertainment | Shuntaro Chishiya (ft. Suguru Niragi)

{AIB Masterlist}

Summary: Niragi scares you and Chishiya gets defensive

Warnings(s): murder, blood, threatening, swearing, Niragi being a murderous bastard (as usual)

Word Count: 1.8k

*reader is gender-neutral

(A/N): this went down a more different plot than this, but this scenario is a element of it

“Look I don’t mean to complain, but this seems really unnecessary,”

All eyes in the meeting room turned to your figure sitting on the edge of the table. The silence that followed your statement felt personal, making you frown slightly at the annoyed faces that the militants seemed to hold.

Aguni had suggested the executives and the militants comes together for a meeting in order to discuss moving some militants up further on the number tags. 

“How is this unnecessary Y/N?” Aguni spoke up, leaning forward on the table and resting his arms. His dead eyes met yours down the other head of the table, making you grow slightly nervous at the number of eyes that were on you.

Before you spoke up, your eyes flickered towards that of Chishiya’s, your boyfriend. When he caught your glance, he lifted a subtle hand to his throat and gave a gesture to tell you to be quiet.

Ever since Hatter had died and Aguni had taken over, your right to speak your mind had been diminishing, but you weren’t going to give it up as easy as the others seemed to have.

You gulped before turning back to Aguni, deciding to ignore Chishiya’s advice. If no one else had the tits to say something, then you would.

“Why are you moving your militants to a higher ranking? Everything was going fine until you came into power,” you started, keeping a stoic expression on that heavily contradicted your inner emotions.

Aguni raised an eyebrow and looked towards the right side of the table, where his second in command Niragi sat. The imperious man smirked at cocked an eyebrow at your words, making you feel uneasy.

“Is that so?” Aguni spoke in a creepily deep tone and leant back from the table, resting in his chair.

You nodded, keeping eye contact. “Don’t listen to me or whatever Aguni, but we don’t exactly know what will happen when we collect all the cards. I know you’d hate to admit it, but I think moving the numbers for your murderous ‘besties’ so they can escape the Borderlands quicker isn’t your intention here.”

You swore you were suffocating on the air in the room. You could smell the tension between your words and the rest of the executives. It was making Chishiya’s leg shake underneath the table and his eyes roll into the back of his head at your naiveness.

Furthermore, without your knowledge, to Niragi, your forehead seemed like a perfect target at that moment.

“Y-you know, Y/N has a point,” a young girl voiced up, making all eyes shift off of you for a quick moment. She sat a few seats down, holding her head slightly low and speaking in a quiet voice. “Perhaps we should vote on things rather than just immediately putting them in place though. If we do that, The Beach would be more democratic.”

You silently thanked her in your head and turned back to Aguni, but his stoic expression didn’t seem to change.

“Alright,” he said casually as he stood up. Looking over the table and the people at it, all silent, he spoke up. “Anyone that agrees with Y/N, raise your hand high.”

You glanced around the table with a slightly desperate look in your eye, hoping at least someone put their hand up. After a few tense seconds, the young girl who spoke put her hand up, followed by a middle-aged man sitting to the right of you and a few others.

You looked at Chishiya, not knowing what to do. He had himself tucked further in his white hoodie, hair hiding his eyes and trying to look as invisible as possible. He gave you a warning stare, shaking his head ‘no’ towards you.

You frowned, confused that he wasn’t contributing. Usually, he wouldn’t hesitate to stir some drama up between the executives and the militants, so it was out of character for him.

Furthermore, the lack of agreements from other executives like Ann and Mira was throwing you off. Knowing their good nature, they wouldn’t allow everything that Hatter had built to suddenly fall to murderous men. They kept their heads low, just like Chishiya, playing with their hands and trying to be as uninvolved as possible.

And soon enough, you realised why.

“Fine,” Aguni said, eyeing the four people that put their hand up in favour of you. You didn’t know too many of them personally, as they hadn’t been at The Beach for long. They were either high ranking players or random contributors to the executives.

“Niragi?” Aguni said, nodding towards the tall male.

Niragi hummed in acknowledgment and stood up quickly, not wasting a second before aiming his rifle towards the young girl and firing.

The blast of blood that fell onto your face made you freeze, realising what you had done.

“WAIT!” you screamed, standing from your seat and screaming towards Niragi. But your cry did nothing as he turned towards the man next to you and fired once again.

You ducked in fear that he was aiming at you, falling to the floor. The sound of bullet meeting bone filled your ear, and you glanced to the side to see the limp body of the man, eyes wide and hole in his bloodied forehead.

The rest of the people that voted in your favour had either dropped their head to the table in defeat or had done the same as you and fallen to the ground to hide behind the table, but Niragi stopped firing once he was sure the man was dead.

You stood from the ground and sat back down in your chair, eyes wide and breathing heavy. You could feel your heartbeat in your head, and your hands shook violently. You attempted to hide it by lacing your fingers together and squeezing, placing them on the table.

You didn’t dare look towards Aguni but glanced towards Chishiya towards the other end. He held wide eyes and shaking hands, staring at you and putting his index finger to his lips in a gesture to make you stay quiet. You nodded lightly.

Niragi let out a loud laugh and stepped out from around his chair, making his way towards you down the end of the table. You didn’t dare move.

“See what happens when you speak your mind!” he exclaimed, coming up behind you and placing a harsh hand on your shoulder. You jumped at the sudden impact and your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

Not being impressed by your lack of reaction, Niragi gripped your hair and pulled your head back so you made eye contact with him. He leant forward over you, looking you dead in the eyes as you yelped from his harsh hold on you.

“Maybe, you should learn to shut the fuck up for once kitten,” he growled into your face, making you cringe from his hot breath on your skin. “That mouth of yours could get you in a lot of trouble.”

Chishiya shook in his seat, hand gripping the end of the table harshly at the sight of his S/O getting tormented. A million thoughts were racing through his mind, trying to think of something that he could do to help you but not endanger anyone else.

He looked towards Niragi, noticing the dark-haired man’s eyes flicker towards him from you. Just as he did so, he noticed Niragi running a hand down the side of your neck, making you flinch heavily. The humiliation of this happening in front of your peers was unbearable, more so in front of Chishiya.

“Niragi,” the blonde stood up, having had enough. Niragi pulled himself away from you, looking towards Chishiya’s tense body with a smirk on his face.

“It’s okay, you can leave them alone,” Chishiya said with a monotone tone, trying to seem calm. “They’ve learnt their lesson.”

The mere sight of seeing the murderous man near you was enough to make Chishiya’s heart rate quicken. Although he doesn’t seem it, he’s a very nervous person, especially when it came to your safety.

Niragi doesn’t move, contemplating what he should do as he kept a firm grip on your shoulder. You were frozen beneath him, wincing at the growing strength he was applying to your collarbones.

He let go, allowing you to let out a large breath. “Fine, save your little toy then Shuntaro,” he grumbled in annoyance and moving back to his seat. He knew that if he had a bigger scene than it already was in front of Aguni, he could perhaps lose his control as second-in-command.

You held your head down in humiliation, not daring to look up for the rest of the meeting, not even towards Chishiya, who was trying to get your attention to check that you were okay. After that shit-show, you made sure not to attract unwanted attention.

After the meeting, you didn’t even get a chance to stand up properly before Chishiya grabbed your hand and dragged you out into the hall. He pulled you towards an open balcony to escape anyone else that was around before turning around and facing you.

“Let me see you,” he demanded, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Your neck. Did he hurt you?” he asked frantically while pushing your chin up to look at the skin on your neck to see if there were any bruises. You shook your head and pushed his hands away.

“I’m fine Chishiya,” you insisted. But the way that you stared at the ground wasn’t convincing.

“...I killed them... didn’t I?” you croaked out, fiddling with the skin of your hands. The blood from the two innocent people Niragi had murdered was stained along your skin, making you feel physically sick. You almost wished Niragi had just shot you instead of the other two. It was you who spoke up anyway.

Chishiya sighed heavily and brought his hand to your face, holding your cheek in his palm. You felt slight tears run down your face, causing you to quickly wipe them away.

“Y/N, people are always going to die. You can’t stop it,” he said, running his thumb across your cheekbone. “That wasn’t your fault. They had the choice to not put their hand up.”

You nodded, trying to convince yourself it’s not your fault.

“But for now, we need to focus on our own safety,” Chishiya said, making you shift your gaze from the ground to his eyes. “We need to make sure we’re prepared to leave if any of the militants come after us within the next few days.”

Chishiya held your face in both of his hands and brought your lips together for a quick kiss, making more tears fall from your face at the comforting feeling of his warmth.

When he pulled away, he gave a sad smile and pulled you in for a hug, tucking your face into his shoulder by pushing on your head. “Make sure you stay by my side. Don’t worry, I won’t let Niragi get anywhere near you.”

(A/N): I’m sorryyyyy i know this isn’t that good. i rly need to rewatch some aib again cause it’s been ages since i last watched anything from it alsjldkajslja

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland scenarios #alice in borderland scenario #alice in borderland one shot #alice in borderland one shots #alice in borderland chishiya #alice in borderland shuntaro chishiya #alice in borderland x reader #aib #aib imagines #aib imagine #aib scenario #aib scenarios #aib one shot #aib one shots #aib chishiya #aib shuntaro chishiya #aib x reader #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya #chishiya imagines #chishiya scenarios #chishiya scenario #chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya x reader

[arminsleftnut]

hi i deleted the fucking ask on accident so:

@ikiraobsessed i’m SO sorry here’s your request, i hope this is what you wanted <3

CONTENT WARNING: dark content (minors if u interact i will call ur fucking parents), sacrilege, mentions of religion, implied yandere themes, yagami light x fem!reader, god complex & sadism (light being... himself), mentions of death/death of an older sister and reader’s parents (it’s light), toxic relationship, light is manipulative as fuck, kira worshipper reader, naïve/virgin reader, sub!reader, fear play, light is fucking insane, mishandling of virginity (idk how to explain that light is just a mistake), rough sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, choking /breath play, reader does not have a safe word (be responsible kids), unprotected sex, breeding kink, god kink, overstimulation, masochism, praise

daphne — a beautiful nymph that caught the attention of the

god apollo, and could not escape him in the end.

the soft thrum of rain against the outside walls was, in many ways, bittersweet. the sound of rain was soothing, nurturing; it made you feel free, renewed, like a sapling unfurling from fresh, damp soil. but now? now it only reminded you that you were trapped. only a few walls separated you and the outside storm, yet it felt like a chasm— one you didn’t dare try to cross. there was no anchor for you anymore, no wings to spread nor roots to unfurl. you were bound here, to him.

the room you were in was dim, lit only by the hallway light and the occasional bright flash of lightning outside. it was an eerie sort of sight; it reminded you of the Catholic Church you had once attended with your parents, and then had gone there after, alone, to find answers for the death of your sister. you had pleaded on your knees, rosary in hand, begging to just understand.

your older sister was a saint. she’d never spoken a harsh word to anyone, not even you, even in the darkest pits of her anger. not even to your parents, who for all their regurgitated sermons on the kindness of god, seemed to have no answers for you when you asked why he’d taken your sister away. they hadn’t even cried. your father had attended confession one last time, and they had never gone back. you were left to search for answers alone. you found none, and you found no god in the empty pews or hollow statues of mary.

but you had found him here. in the dark bedroom within a pretty suburban home, you’d found god, and as he towered over you, his large form encasing you against the bed, you were terrified.

how could you not be? light was— something else entirely. he had offered you answers, and when he’d punished your parents for the crimes he knew they’d inevitably commit, he’d left you no room to question his power. he’d done so much for you, for the world, how could he be anything but a god?

you thought, perhaps, you ought to be on your knees before him; you’d knelt so readily when you’d first met him, it was strange that he hadn’t asked you to do so again. no, he had a different form of worship for you, he’d said. and as you lay there, trembling in the cage of his arms, a traitorous part of you wondered if he’d damned you instead.

“you’re shaking.” light’s observation was smooth, flippant, and there was a hint of a smile in his voice that made your insides twist; whether that was good or bad, you didn’t know. it did not feel kind, but gods never were, you supposed.

you opened your mouth, wishing you had an answer and all at once realizing it was likely for the best that you didn’t. there was no answer you could give him that wouldn’t hurt him. he had done so much for you, he was a hero, how could you tell him that you feared him still?

for better or worse, you did not have to speak at all. light’s hand was deceptively gentle when he wrapped it around your throat, his long fingers digging lightly into the sides of the fragile flesh; not hard enough to stop you from breathing, but still, you froze beneath him. he smiled, and it was both beautiful and terrifying.

“do you think I’d hurt you?” there was no malice in the question that you could hear, only what sounded like genuine curiosity. still, you didn’t move. you didn’t want to hurt him, anger him— his fingers tightened just so. “answer me.”

slowly, you nodded.

surprisingly, there was no hints of anger twisting his expression, no hurt contorting his lovely face. you realized you hadn’t upset him, and it was only then did your heart start beating again. you didn’t even notice that he was still grinning.

“oh, sweet girl,” he cooed, his thumb brushing the underside of your jaw in a tender gesture that made you tremble even more, “how could you think that? you’ve given me so much.”

you have. you’ve given him everything. your time, your mind, your heart. your body was all that was left, and as much as you didn’t want to be, you were petrified of giving him that as well.

but he didn’t take this time. he gave instead.

“this isn’t a punishment, love.” his words were gentle against your lips, and despite his reassurance, you weren’t sure what he was referring to— the way he was touching you, or the soulless bodies of your parents only a few houses down. they were deplorable, greedy, they were going to take you from him. “i don’t punish innocence. you know that. i reward it.”

you did know that; and when his head was between your legs, his tongue flattened against your swollen clit, it felt like a reward. he devoured you wholly, as he’d always done, and you adored it. he let you tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer and holding him to your weeping cunt as you rocked desperately against his face. it was too much too much too much, and when he forced your legs back, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs hard enough to bruise as he forced you to cum on his tongue yet again , you didn’t dare complain— not even as tears pricked your eyes and your entire body trembled.

part of you still wondered, somewhere in the back of your hazed mind, if he actually did mean to punish you. the aching burn between your legs when he’d forced his cock inside you, pushing past any resistance with ease, it was too big, god it was too big, made you sure you must’ve displeased him somehow. but the groan that left him when he was fully seated inside you was nothing short of divine, reminding you of his promise. he wouldn’t hurt you, you reminded yourself through a haze of tears as he fucked into you, so this must not be pain.

it was your own cries that echoed throughout the room, shrieks and sharp squeals drowning out the rumble of thunder outside. he was unforgiving as he abused your pretty cunt, his mouth against your ear, spilling rough praises of how good you were, how proud he was of you, how well you were taking him, and his tongue caught each tear that fell down your cheek. he promised to give you everything, reward you with his children, because you’d given him so much, you deserved the privilege.

you could say nothing, only able to plead for something you couldn’t decipher as you came around him, your vision turning white as he followed soon after, emptying himself inside you, giving you everything he promised.

it was only when the daze lifted and you lay there, the stickiness of his cum trickling out of you and staining your inner thighs, that you realized he meant to keep you rooted here, immortalized in his image. a reward. a blessing.

you thought it might’ve been a curse instead.

#tw: dark content #light yagami x reader #🍒.poppedcherries #death note x reader #death note smut #light yagami smut #i... am so sorry #yes there are several greek mythology references in here don’t touch me

[sukunarii]

Shinsen - rebellious

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (drabble)

Synopsis: Sukuna meets a jujutsu sorcerer that is not only immortal but also really likes to talk shit.

A/N: While daydreaming about Hidan, I thought what would happen if there is a jujutsu sorcerer so proficient at reversed curse technique that she is basically immortal? Then I got inspired to write this drabble....as for the other prompts in my askbox haha......I hope I can get to writing them eventually.

Warning: A lot of swearing I guess and also talks about dismembered bodies (so a little graphic...idk?)

Sukuna chuckled slightly at how easily he managed to kill the so-called 'Strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer of the Era.' She went down so easily it was barely a fight by his standards, but not that it really surprised him much. Sukuna turned around to leave the shrine, leaving her corpse for whichever poor soul that will stumble upon it to discover it. Afterall, they're all the same, those jujutsu sorcerers. World peace, get rid of all curses, protecting the people...they're just all talk and—

"Ow that hurts like a bitch."

Sukuna whipped his head back at the source of the voice. There shouldn't be anyone, the only person who was in this Shrine was that jujutsu sorcerer who he just chopped into pieces!

"Who was that?", Sukuna called out menacingly.

"Down here you asshole!," the voice complained.

The moment Sukuna looked down, he was met with fierce (eye colour) eyes glaring at him.

She was not dead.

Except, her head was still detached from the rest of her body because well—-yes, that was Sukuna's handy work— but most importantly,

"How the fuck are you not dead?", Sukuna hollered

"Quit your shouting, after slashing my entire body into piece, you're trying to hurt my ears too?", the girl (or more like the head) replied sarcastically, "And don't worry honey, I won't die so easily."

From the corner of his eyes, Sukuna noticed her dismembered arm slowly crawl it's way towards the rest of her body and attached itself in the right spot and other pieces of her body starts following suit too.

Sukuna squints, then takes a long deep breath. This must be some type of reverse cursed technique. A very strong one too to be able to sustain this type of damage and be basically well, immortal.

"Hey I'm not done talking here, listen you just wait. I'll make you pay for this."

Sukuna looked amused, if anything, this is the first time someone has fought him and lived to not just tell the tale but to talk back to him, "And how would you do that?", he says tauntingly.

In the same moment, he motioned his finger upwards in a slicing motion causing (Name)'s arm that just reattached to her body to be dismembered again.

(Name)'s face immediately winced, "Ahh that fucking hurts, you motherfucker—you're gonna regret this."

Sukuna rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah keep talking, I'll just keep slicing you up til you die."

(Name) too rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah and you can keep trying, just don’t be surprised when you realized you’re wasting both of our time. Like I said, I'm not dying this easily."

Sukuna was starting to get annoyed. He bent down in front of her head menacingly, "Quit with those lies, I've never met a single human that is immortal."

A dry laugh escaped from (Name)'s lips.

"That's true because this is the first time I’ve seen your ugly face," (Name) said.

Sukuna's eyebrows furrowed together and he gave her forehead a hard flick, causing her head to rock backwards a little, "Again I said immortality isn't possible, there's always a limit to whatever reverse cursed technique you're using. Give it a day max and you'll be nothing but a minced corpse"

(Name) spat at his feet, "Bitch. Try me, I've got all day."

That was the start of Sukuna’s friendship with (Name), the Immortal Jujutsu Sorcerer.

#sukuna x reader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen

[httpdabi]

Strawberry

Genre: smut, romance? Idk?

Summary: The reunion with your childhood best friend took some turns, and instead of hugs and tears all you wanted to do was kill the familiar stranger, that made your day at work worse.

(Ye, I suck at describing lmao)

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings: 18+ (MINORS DNI), unprotected sex, dom!Dabi, creampie, a bit of dacryphilia, a bit of teasing, rough sex, choking, facefucking.

,,Girl, just hop into the water’’ Mina screamed, taking all the attention you were giving to your phone. You were already regretting the decision you made to join her and Bakugo. You’ve never liked those public pools, and you never understand people who did. Like seriously, children there pee in the water, some of them even poop, who knows ? And its not that you are some hygiene freak, it’s simply a no go for you.

,, Nah, I’m good over here’’ You screamed back, hoping she heard you, as you hid under the shadow of the tree. Sun was also a big minus for you, since 10 minutes were enough for you to get sunburnt and end up with Yoghurt all over your body trying to pamper the burning stings. Plus your pierced nipples didn’t help in this case either, heating up too fast in the sun, since the only peace of clothing that covered them was your swimming suit.

,, You are no fun’’ she pouted, hoping her puppy face will work on you.

Usually on your days off, you liked to enjoy your time at home, reading a nice book or simply lazing around watching a movie, cooking for yourself, and doing simply anything that didn’t include contact with others. Yeah, you had enough contact with people since you were working at the famous café in the city.

People who saw you working there thought that you loved your job. Always smiling, always having so much patience. Truth to be told, you were exactly the opposite. You hate it wholeheartedly. You couldn’t deal with children screaming around all the time, while their parents ignored them, you couldn’t deal with drunk dudes, cat calling you all the time, and you couldn’t deal with rude costumers always complaining about something. Fuck it, you couldn’t deal with anyone.

You felt more than happy once the day came to an end and once you waved goodbye to your co-workers. Nothing against them of course, you loved Mina and Bakugo, but sun, water and loud crowd of people drained your energy out. At that point you found yourself appreciating your apartment and your bed more then ever before.

The next day you woke up pretty late, since you had late shift. Not that you were complaining, you liked sleeping longer, but the fact that you will be working till fucking 10 PM, if not even longer since it was summer, was driving you insane.

Sure waking up early isn’t amazing, but in the morning there wasn’t that much work, and it was much more quiet then in late shift. And sure, some people would consider calling sick, but you didn’t want to be such an asshole toward your co-workers.

Since you will be the one getting the orders on the counter and maybe, only maybe work with ice cream, you decided to wear your favorite comfy skirt, not too long, but also covering everything up. Once you found your fav comfy shirt, you tucked it inside of your skirt and did your casual make up before you left your apartment.

You didn’t like your work, but you were thankful that you could at least get a free meal there, since it saved a lot of time for you. It wasn’t anything special, but at least you didn’t have to prepare anything or stop to buy something before work.

,, DROP THE BEAT’’ Bakugo yelled once he saw you coming, making some weird noises as you gave your best to give them a Top Model walk.

,, TC, TC, TC’’ you repeated, waving your hips from side to side in the beat with the weird sound you and Bakugo made. You hopped beside them, as you took the small pack of cigarettes out of your bag.

Usually after the end of the morning shift, you and your co-workers sit together, enjoying the last minute of the shift exchange together. Of course if there’s a new costumer, one of you would go to work immediately. But most of the time, the café was almost empty at that time, giving you a chance to catch up a bit.

,, Today was pain in the ass, I swear’’ Shiggy said, taking one cigarette out of your package, while Bakugo told you everything you needed to know, if there was something to do and so on. Nodding your head, you lit a cigarette for yourself, preparing yourself for one hell of annoying day that was waiting for you.

Once Bakugo and Shiggy went home, you made your way toward the small counter, preparing everything you needed for the late shift, as you waited for Mina to arrive. You were glad that there weren’t any new costumers, since it gave you lots of time to prepare everything, from ice cream, to sandwiches and drinks.

,, Hiii girl, sorry for being late’’ Mina greeted you happily, while you placed the new drinks into the fridge. It wasn’t anything new for you, she was always late, but you never minded it at all. Your team had some up’s and down’s, but after all, all of you worked great together.

Around 7PM you wished you never got that fucking job. The café was getting fuller and fuller, and people were getting more and more annoying.

,, Can you please serve that table ?’’ Mina asked, pointing on the table where some boys were sitting down. Nodding your head, you took the small notebook and pen, before you made your way towards the table you had to serve.

,, Heyy, what can I do for you?’’ you asked, acting all happy as you prepared the small notebook to write the order.

,, Well, you can blow me off if you are asking that nicely’’ one of them said, making the rest of the boys laugh loudly. Taking one deep breath, you almost rolled your eyes in annoyance.

,, Can I take your order ?’’ you repeated yourself, ignoring the rude comments they gave you, talking about your skirt and how you looked, like you weren’t standing right in front of them.

,, Five beers. Sorry, they really don’t know how to behave’’ one of them, mature enough, said. Giving you one small and apologetic smile. Nodding your head, you just hurried back, wanting to finish their order fast enough, before you did something you would regret later.

Once you bought them their beer, and once they gave you the money, you almost smacked the bottle against the blondies head, when he started checking you out shamelessly. What pissed you even more was the fact that the line waiting for fucking ice cream was already waiting for you.

The whole day was a complete disaster and you wished more then ever to finish your shift and leave the fucking café. At least you had Mina by your side, as the two of you gave each other encouraging words.

,, What can I get for you?’’ you asked, faking a smile at the woman with a child. You were so done with that fucking job, but you couldn’t let the costumers figure that out.

,, Honey, what do you want?’’ she asked her child, as she prepared her wallet. The fact that she was waiting for you to come, and than ask her child what she wants was lowkey pissing you off. They could literally decide before you arrived, but whatever.

,, I want vanilla… Hmmmm, I want mint and strawberry!’’ the little girl screamed excitedly, as you prepared the cone, already putting the vanilla ice cream in it.

,, I’m sorry, we are out of Strawberry ice cream’’ you said, giving her a small smile, as the child started screaming and crying around how she wants strawberry. You had to give your best and stop yourself from throwing the cone against the child’s face. That little girl was old enough to understand what a no means.

,, Sorry sweetie, do you want anything else?’’ you asked, hoping she’ll stop with the whole theater.

,, Noooo I want strawberry’’ she screamed, crying loudly.

,, Just give her raspberry’’ the woman said, rolling her eyes in annoyance like it was your fault that you were out of the strawberry ice cream. Mina noticed that your blood was already boiling, as she asked you if you need some help. Once she heard you saying how everything’s fine, she continued with her work.

NOTHING WAS FINE FOR FUCKS SAKE, NOTHING.

,, What can I get you?’’ you repeated the same question, as a guy approached, holding his phone in his right hand. You looked at him, giving him one fake smile, as you analyzed his face. Black hair, scarred face, few tattoos and lots of piercings. His appearance was pretty much freaking you out, but you had to stay professional and just wait for his order.

,, Hey, strawberry and chocolate’’ he said, casually scrolling the screen of his phone with his thumb. The moment you heard him say strawberry you wanted to quit that fucking job and just move to Poland or whichever country.

,, We are out of strawberry, sorry’’ you breathed out, hoping that the last cell in your brain didn’t die at that moment.

,,Oh ok, then only strawberry is fine’’ he said, giving you a small smile. At that moment you were more then sure that he was making fun of you, even a deaf person was able to catch up that strawberry wasn’t an option anymore after that stupid child made a scene. And that’s when you finally snapped, having enough of everyone’s shit.

,, Which part of we are out of strawberry you didn’t understand?’’ you asked, slamming the cone onto the counter, almost regretting your actions. But once you noticed the way he was trying not to laugh made you snap even more.

,, Are you making fun of me ? Is this funny to you ?’’ your voice was raising with every word you spoke. Once Mina realized that you were having your half mental breakdown, screaming at costumer, she hurried toward you, repeating your name all over again as she tired to catch your attention.

Hearing your name, his eyes widened in surprise, now totally focused on you instead of his cellphone and if Mina wasn’t there, you would probably start a bitch fight with him for even looking at you that way.

,, Woah, what’s going on? ‘’ she asked confused, as you gave the dude death glares.

,,This guy here is going on. He’ll be my 13th reason why’’ you screamed waving your hands in air, not even trying to calm down anymore.

,, Chill out, we only have 30 minutes more till we close’’ she said, patting your back slowly, as she mouthed small sorry to the guy.

,, Oh, 30 minutes ? We’re out of the ice cream’’ you hissed, slamming the glass down, giving him a clear sign that he won’t lick shit tonight. If your boss heard and saw you at that moment, you would be fired in just a second.

After 20 minutes, the two of you happily told the costumers that they have to leave. Before you could leave, you took two corona tests, already working on your own test as Mina went to the toilet to change.

,, OH MY GOD, YOU’RE PREGNANT’’ she screamed, placing one hand over her mouth.

,, Bitch, this is corona test’’ you hissed, loud laugh following your words. ,, And it’s only one line, which means that I’m negative. What the fuck’’ you laughed, placing one test in front of her, thinking about where the fuck did she get all her informations from, since she thought that one line means pregnant. Ignoring the fact that she thought that corona test is fucking pregnancy test.

,, You really overacted today, maybe he didn’t hear’’ she said, as you puffed onto your cigarette.

,, Girl, even my grandma from nursing home could hear that we were out of strawberry, and trust me her hearing aids ain’t worth shit’’ you rolled your eyes, making Mina giggle quietly.

,, But still, he might tell to boss, you don’t know that guy’’ she whispered, as you watched the guy sitting on the bench with his friends. She had a point sadly, he did look like someone who would cause trouble just for fun.

,, You’re right, I’ll go and apologize’’ you said once you saw him wave goodbye to his friends. Taking one deep breath you hugged Mina, before you forced yourself to walk fast enough to catch up with him.

,, Hey’’ you screamed, almost running behind him, hoping he actually heard you. Once he turned around, giving you one hella confusing look, you sighed in relief, placing both of your hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath.

,, Wow, such a sporty spirit’’ he joked as he watched you fight for air.

,, Yeah, oh my god. I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier’’ you managed to say somehow, ignoring his comments.

,, Yeah, that wasn’t very nice of you’’ he pointed, taking one cigarette and placing it between his lips. ,,I was ready to write a review on google about the way you treated me’’ he joked once again, but you completely misunderstood it.

,,I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW IT’’ you screamed, pointing your finger in his direction. ,, Look man, I already hate my job, don’t make it any worse’’ you whined loudly, not getting the irony in his voice.

,, Well, let me treat you with dinner, what do you think? And then I’ll think about the review’’ he smiled, using the way you misunderstood his words in his advantage. Once you heard him say that, you definitely regretted the way you acted one hour ago.

,, That won’t work, I have a cat waiting for me home and trust me, he ain’t capable feeding himself on his own’’ you spat, hoping he’ll understand and simply leave you alone, but once you saw him raise his eyebrow at you and giving you one questioning look, you almost rolled your eyes on him.

,, but you can come with me and we can order fucking tacos or whatever’’ you added, surprised that you went that far and disappointed once he accepted your invite.

,,Taquitoooo, I’m home babyyyy’’ you screamed, kicking your shoes as you got inside your apartment. Turning around you found the tall man looking around, analyzing every corner of your apartment.

,, Taquito? You’ve gotta be kidding me’’ he laughed at you. Even tho you just met the guy, it felt like you knew him for ages for some weird reason.

He sat outside on the balcony, as you prepared the two glasses and drinks for the two of you, while he ordered some food.

,, Anyway, what’s your name ?’’ you asked, remembering that you don’t know shit about the man sitting in your apartment.

,,Ah yes, I totally forget that, the name is Dabi’’ he grinned, taking the glass away from you, as he made himself at home.

,, Why the fuck did you call your cat Taquito?’’ he asked, as your cat jumped onto his lap, purring softly, making you just stare at them surprisingly. Taquito didn’t even like your family and friends, yet he was all cuddly with some fucking stranger.

,, Yeah long story short, I was drunk as fuck, found him on the street while I watched the stupid Tiktok about a girl that bought a turtle and called it Taquito’’ you said fast, as you sat there waiting for the food. Once you had a good look of him, something felt off. Nothing weird or scary, but you only felt like you already knew him. Sure, you definitely wouldn’t forget a face like his, but something about his eyes was telling you that you met him somewhere.

,, Anyway, enough about my cat. Did we meet somewhere?’’ you asked, staring at him shamelessly as he played with Taquito.

,, Maybe ?’’ he said, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

,, Cut it. Your eyes are familiar. I swear, I feel like I know you from somewhere ‘’ you confessed, placing a finger on your lip, as you tried to figure out from where you know him.

,, Yeah, I have such a pretty eyes, don’t I’’ he said, blinking fast as he tried to give some weird effect with it.

,, You can’t be that stupid doll’’ he added, when he realized that you still can’t remember him. Sure he changed, sure he went thru some shit and ended up with scars, and sureee he colored his hair black, but still he felt a bit disappointed when he realized that you have no idea who he is.

,, Does a name Touya tell you anything ?’’ he asked, raising his eyebrow at you playfully, laughing loudly at your confused face.

,, Nah, go fuck with someone else, that can’t be true’’ you hissed, crossing your arms on your chest. If you saw Touya, you would remember him, your childhood best friend.

,, Monday, 2PM, old tree house?’’ he said, almost asked about something only the two of you knew, trying not to laugh at your shocked expression.

,, It can’t be’’ you gasped, eyes wide enough, almost popping out of your skull. ,, YOU PIECE OF SHIT WHY DIDN’T YOU CONTACT ME?’’ you screamed jumping suddenly, making Taquito run form his lap, scared from your sudden reaction.

,, Honestly, I forgot what your last name was, so I couldn’t find you anywhere’’ he admitted, happy you finally remembered him. Sure he didn’t recognize you at first either, but once he heard your co worker calling you by your name, he immediately figured everything out, and understood why you seemed so familiar.

,, Are you serious ? And what kind of reunion was that ? I was ready to choke you with a fucking ice cream cone’’ you laughed, still not believing that the stranger sitting in front of you was no one else than fucking Touya Todoroki, the best friend you once had that left you behind and went overseas.

,, Yeah that was one iconic reunion if you ask me’’ he laughed out, thinking about the way you acted few hours ago.

The two of you talked about everything possible, about his life overseas, about the past, your shitty job, your cat and his dislike on every living being. Once it was too late, he wanted to leave, but you simply couldn’t let him go home at such a late hour, since people at the city were pretty weird and the city isn’t the quiet and safe one and after a long time of your insisting he finally agreed.

When you woke up, Touya was nowhere to be found, but he did leave a small piece of paper, with a number and apology written on it. You grinned to yourself, as you hurried to get ready for your work, since you stood up too late.

The day was much better than the last one, only instead of Mina who always managed to calm you down, you had Bakugo who was even more aggressive then you are by your side. You had the same task as last night, but once you saw Touya and his group of friends making themselves comfortable at one of the tables in the corner, you told Bakugo that you’ll take their order.

,, hayyy, alredy know your order ?’’ you asked excitedly placing your hands on Touya’s shoulders from behind, the smile on your face being honest for a change.

,, My girllll, why didn’t you text me ?’’ he whined, as he grabbed your hands and pulled you down, forcing you to hug him.

,, Didn’t the two of you have a huge fight last night because of strawberry ice cream?’’ one of his friends asked, totally confused.

,, We talked it out’’ you laughed, as he placed a small kiss on your cheek, before you finally took their order, almost forgetting you are at work.

If you were being honest, the whole shift was better with him and Bakugo who was cursing every second costumer around. Almost every 15 minutes Touya would end up at the counter, asking for a strawberry ice cream. Every time you would tell him that you are out of it, he would simply ask for the Book of complaints, making you roll your eyes playfully at him.

You were surprised when you noticed that he was actually waiting for you, laughing loudly when Bakugo commented how this whole romantic shit is making him sick.

The next few days the two of you spend way too much together, and first time in forever you actually liked having someone around. Every day he would drop by at your work, and wait till you are done and then the two of you would go home and have a late dinner, while he had cuddle season with Taquito.

On Saturday, you were looking for excuses to call sick, and once Mina told you that the only person who would be forced to jump in was no one else than Rumi, you immediately called them, acting all sick and everything.

After you called, you gave yourself one good deserved nap, not feeling bad anymore since Rumi was the co-worker no one liked.

The loud knocks at your door woke you up, grabbing your phone your eyes widened in shock once you realized that you slept almost the whole day. Rubbing your eyes, you rushed to open the damn door.

,, What the fuck?’’ Touya hissed, once he saw you healthy and alive standing there in nothing but oversized shirt.

,, what? I overslept a bit’’ you gave him a weak smile, as you let him in. You were surprised yourself that you slept that long, but you totally deserved it.

,, I swear, once your co worker told me you’re sick, I thought you died or something’’ he added, following you inside.

,, Yeah, I just needed some rest’’ you laughed, hoping he’ll chill the fuck out. Thankfully he calmed down real fast, almost forgetting about all the worry he had once he saw you all healthy, and once he saw Taquito running happily to him.

There was something comforting in having Touya around again. Somehow it made you feel like a child again, and the fact that he’s staying this time, for real, made your heart skip a beat for some weird reason. He was all the time around, at your work waiting for you, giving you a ride back home or walking you back home, dropping by on your days off with your favorite snacks and so on. Usually you wouldn’t like it, but since it was him, you embraced the affection he was giving you wholeheartedly.

You even became a laughing stick at your work, as your co-workers always made jokes about your new lover boy. Especially Mina and Bakugo, turning every conversation into Touya related one.

Making the drinks some costumers ordered, a yawn escaped your lips. Still sleepy as fuck, you somehow managed to put your attention on your work instead of the lack of sleep.

,, So, how was the date last night ? What did you two do ?’’ you asked, remembering that Bakugo met some girl he liked so much last night.

,, See when two people come together, they perform an intimate act called getting fucking railed’’ Bakugo said, trying to sound as romantic as possible.

,, You’re disgusting’’ you gasped, throwing the small sponge at him, as he laughed loudly, making his way to the costumer that just got in.

You were completely focused on your work, until Bakugo told you that your lover boy is there, and he’ll be the one to get his order. Rolling your eyes, you just let him do it, as you continued with the work you already did.

Bakugo was much louder than usually, probably because his little date went good, singing around you and joking around every now and then. Not that it bothered you, in fact, you were so glad that he showed his unusual side that day, since he’s grumpy and mad almost all the time.

,, I swear the headache is killing me today’’ you whined loudly, hopping beside Touya once you got the chance. You took one cigarette from him, and lit it up, enjoying the peace with almost no costumers around.

,, You seem pretty close with that guy’’ Touya said, also taking one cigarette.

,, Huh? You mean Bakugo?’’ you asked and he simply nodded his head, not taking his eyes from the spiky haired guy. ,, Yeah, we are pretty close’’ you added, puffing onto your cigarette.

,, You like him ?’’ Touya’s eyes met yours, making you feel a bit uneasy with his sudden behavior.

,, No, we are literally only friends and he’s much younger, wait, why ?’’ you were too confused, finding it hard to proceed the whole situation. Changing the topic, he simply asked what you wanna do after work, acting as nothing happened at all.

,, So, that Bakugo guy, he has a girlfriend ?’’ Touya asked, as the two of you made your way to the nearest store.

,, At this point I’m not sure if you are interested in me or Bakugo’’ you joked, dragging your feet lazily.

,, In you, obviously’’

After that day Touya was giving his best to show you how he felt, he was giving his best to show everyone to who you belong. Being a little too touchy in front of his friends and your co workers, in a way that seemed innocent to you, yet clear to everyone else. Small kisses he usually placed on your cheeks, were getting closer and closer to your lips. The hand he usually places around your shoulders, was getting lower and lower.

Even when he comes over, he was using every little chance he had to touch you, using everything you liked into his advantage. He knew how much you loved when someone caressed you, and he did it more than gladly for you. Tracing his fingers against your soft skin, starting with your arms, only to end up with his hand under your shirt, caressing your back slowly, until you would end up falling asleep in his arms.

,, What do you want to watch ?’’ you asked, placing the bowl of popcorn onto the table, while Touya waited for you patiently on you couch. The weather was perfect for nothing else than a lazy movie evening.

Hopping next to him, you made yourself comfortable as you listened to the storm outside. The sound of strong wind and thunder was more then relaxing to you, and for some reason you enjoyed weather like that.

Gasping loudly, you jumped a little once your cat tried to climb onto you, destroying your small enjoyable moment.

,,Taquito get the fuck off her, she has a boyfriend’’ Touya pushed the cat away gently, joking around, as you just sat there and watched him, eyes wide in shock.

,, Do I?’’ you asked, not moving at all.

,, Fuck yes, you do’’ he added, wrapping his right arm around you, pulling you closer to him, as he looked for a perfect movie to watch. He took his time searching for anything interesting, mumbling some words of disappointments as he couldn’t find anything on Netlfix. At the end he played Oh, Ramona! , since none of you watched it and it was it was simply in Netflix recommendation list.

Pulling you closer to him, he started tracing his fingers along your arm, both of you concentrated on the weird movie that was playing on the screen of your Television. You always begged your friends to caress your arm, since you loved the ticklish feeling that always made you sleepy, yet they would always refuse it, giving you some lame excuses how they’re tired and so on.

Now that Touya was doing it without you having to ask him, you tried to enjoy every second of it. If you only knew, how much Touya enjoyed it, almost as much as you did. The feeling of your soft skin under his fingertips was driving him crazy, as he traced them down your tattoos, mesmerizing every inch of them.

The air got steamier in one moment, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the overly erotic scenes that were showed in the movie, or because his hand was now under your shirt, slowly moving from your back, to the side of your hips.

Trying to calm yourself down a little, you grabbed your phone, checking out all of the unread messages in the group chat. The way he moved hiss hands from side to side made you almost way to shaky. It took you some time to write a reply to your friends, and you almost dropped your phone once he put a little bit pressure into his touch, making your skin burn under his palm.

,, You should concentrate on the movie doll’’ Touya said, not stopping his movements.

,, Yeah, sorry’’ you mumbled, dropping your phone beside you, as you tried not to close your eyes in pleasure.

Once the movie got too erotic fro your taste, you found yourself with your phone in your hands again, trying to hide the blush that was spreading across your cheeks. Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Touya. Annoyed groan left his lips, as he snatched the phone away from you.

,, You really don’t listen’’ he pointed, hiding the phone away from you, as you complained quietly. The hand that was under your shirt was suddenly wrapped around your neck, pushing you slowly into the couch, there was no pressure in it, but the sudden turn of the whole situation made your eyes widen in shock.

,, Are you bored doll? ‘’ he asked, his face only inches away from yours as he locked your body under his own.

,, No, it’s just.. the movie is too much’’ you whispered, gulping on your saliva as he slowly tapped his fingers around your neck. This time you didn’t have to ask yourself, you knew that he was the one turning you on, and not the fucking scenes from the movie.

,, too erotic’’ you mumbled, making him laugh loudly.

,, You should have kept your eyes on me, instead of your phone, if it was getting to much for you’’ he gave you a smile, a dangerous one.

,, That won’t help’’ you confessed, making him smirk widely as you spoke those words. How could it help, when he was laying beside you handsome without even trying, as his hand was caressing your body gently.

,, Oh, am I turning you on?’’ he asked, mocking you shamelessly, as you tried to avoid his eyes.

Touya didn’t need your reply, the way you acted in the moment was enough for him, and God did he want to fuck you senseless in that moment. His hand moved a bit up from your neck, holding your jaw in one place, as he connected his lips with yours.

His hold on your jaw grew stronger, forcing you to open your mouth just enough so he could slip his tongue inside. Not breaking the kiss, he parted your tights apart, as he hovered on top of you, his hips between your legs, slowly grinding against your clothed core.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer into the kiss, not giving a shit about the movie or your phone anymore. The way he was grinding against you, the way you could feel his hard dick rubbing against you, made you insane in that moment and you found yourself wanting more and more.

,, On your knees’’ Toyua commanded, breaking the kiss as he sat onto the couch, spreading his legs enough to give you some space between them. Without thinking twice, you obeyed, positioning yourself down, between his legs, as he pushed his hips just a bit to pull his sweatpants and boxers down.

Touya looked down on you, not hiding the smirk on his face, as he slowly caressed your hair. Kissing the tip gently, you looked up through your long lashes, satisfied with the fact that he was going crazy as much as you do. He cursed something under his breath, as you gave him one lick, taking your time and making sure you licked every inch of it.

,, Don’t tease me doll, you’re not in position for it’’ he hissed, as you placed your lips on the tip of his cock. His hand found its way to your hair, gripping onto it, as he brought your mouth farther down him. You wanted to take your time, to play at your own pace, but Touya didn’t let you, he waited too long for this to happened and teasing wasn’t something he needed in the moment.

,, Open your mouth a bit more’’ he growled, gripping your hair tighter then before. He wanted you to obey him, he wanted you to do everything he wanted in that moment and you did, you gladly did.

It was the first time you had someone’s dick deep down your throat, and the feeling you weren’t used to made your eyes glossy so fast as his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little.

Without giving you any time to get used to it, he started moving his hips, as he held your head in place. You could feel his hardness more then clear now, as his hips thrust into your mouth at some lazy, yet strong pace. Focused on his dick, you didn’t even realize that tears were rolling down your cheeks, vision getting blurry as his moves got much faster, not giving you a chance to breath properly.

,, You look so pretty when you cry’’ Touya groaned, getting even more turned on as he watched you get ruined because of his dick. The small amount of mascara you had, was all gone, turning your tears into blurry shade of black. You started gagging, and without even knowing you tried to move away a bit, giving your best to breath through your nose.

Looking up on him, you saw him squeeze his eyes shut, head swung back into the edge of your couch. You could feel your saliva dripping down your chin, and if you weren’t in that position at the moment, you would probably end up blushing. But none of that was possible, since all you could focus on was his dick hitting the same spot of your throat.

Touya stopped his movements, slowly petting your head, as you fought for your breath, coughing loudly, while tears rolled down your cheeks. If it was someone else, you would probably told them to go to hell and throw them out of your apartment, but it was Touya, and all you wanted was to do was make him feel good.

,, My good girl’’ he praised, pulling you up into his lap. You wanted to stay in his lap a bit longer, you wanted to snuggle into his neck and enjoy the moment, but just after he gave you one sloppy kiss, you found yourself under him again.

Touya took your shorts and panties off, throwing them across the living room together with his shirt. In less then a minute, the two of you were all naked, enjoying the feeling of each others skin.

,, Touya, please’’ you begged, feeling his hard erection between your legs, as he sucked onto your neck, leaving wet love bites all over it. Taking one deep breath, he started rubbing the tip of his dick up and down your clit, making you beg for him even more.

,, Needy baby’’ he mocked, placing his tip only a bit into your core, as he continued to tease you, loving every second of the way you were almost breaking down for him.

A loud scream escaped your lips as he entered his full length into you, kissing your jaw and giving you some time to adjust his size. The moment he looked down your body, to see his dick buried deep inside your core, something else grabbed his attention. Cursing loudly, his eyes focused on two shiny pieces of metal, pierced thru both of your nipples.

,, How didn’t I notice this earlier’’ he hissed, lowering his head just enough as he sucked onto your nipple, the contrast of the warm feeling of your skin and the cold metal against his tongue made his curse all over again. His hand found it’s way to your left boob, slowly pinching and twisting your nipple, making you throw your head back, and making it hard for you to concentrate on anything else than his dick that stood still inside you, while his tongue was working wonders on you.

Playing with the small piercing, Touya started moving his hips at a lazy and sloppy pace, making you feel every single inch of him. Touya groaned against your nipple, deciding to waste no time, bringing his cock out and then slamming it back inside almost urgently.

Your hand reached up to his hair, tugging it roughly, as your other hand went up to his back, scratching red lines down helping release some of the pleasure you felt in the moment. Touya rocked his hips quickly, gaining depth with each thrust he made, as you were pulling at his hair lightly, eyes shut strongly as you moaned his name loudly.

He loved how you felt around him, he loved the way you were scratching his back and tugging his hair, yet he wanted more. Placing his hand around your throat, he gave it a small squeeze. It looked like he was asking for a permission, but he wasn’t. In fact it was more like a sign, a little sign for you to prepare yourself for what’s coming.

You didn’t get the little hint he gave you, totally unprepared once his grip around your throat grew stronger, making your breathing stop, as he slammed his hips at ruthless speed. He enjoyed playing with you, giving you only a second to fight for air, before he puts the pressure around your neck again, wrapping his fingers firmly around it.

In one moment you weren’t sure if he forgot about the fact that you couldn’t breath, hand wrapped around your throat for too long making your eyes roll back. You clenched his hair, yanking it tightly, giving him a sign that you need air, only for him to smirk in response as he held it even tighter, thrusting into you with much more force then he did before.

You were more then grateful when he gave you a whole minute to breath properly. But even without his hand around your neck, you had trouble catching your breath since he was hitting your sweet spot all over and over again. Of course, that was your problem and not his.

Feeling your walls getting tighter around his dick, he once again put the not so small pressure onto your throat, forcing the tears out of you as he continued to reach your g spot each time he slammed back inside. Scratching his back, your grabbed his hand that was wrapped around your throat with your own, closing your eyes shut as you found yourself coming undone. You weren’t sure if it was because of the lack of air, or because he didn’t stop his movements, but the orgasm that hit you was the best one you ever had.

In that moment, Touya left your neck alone, smirking to himself as he noticed the marks of his fingertips buried deep in the skin of your neck. Placing his hands onto your hips, he sped up, rocking his hips against your at animalistic speed as he reached his own high.

Groaning loudly he came inside, body collapsing on your own as he slowly fucked his seed into you, as he repeated how much he loves you all over again.

Once the two of you finally calmed down, Touya helped you clean yourself, being extra careful like you were a small piece of glass that was about to break any moment.

Hopping back onto the couch, you rolled your eyes at the view of the ending of the stupid movie Touya found. He wrapped his arm around you, snatching the cigarette that was hanging between your lips and placing it between his own.

,,Oh God’’ you gasped loudly, as your cat jumped on top of you, making you jump a bit in surprise. ,, Fuck off Taquito, I have a boyfriend’’ you pushed your cat lightly away, repeating the words Touya said few hours ago, making him grin widely as he placed a kiss on your cheek.

#smut #dabi fanfic #dabi headcanons #dabi smut #dabi todoroki #dabi x oc #romance #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha dabi #mha x y/n #mha x reader #dabi x y/n #yandere dabi x reader #dabi x reader #bnha dabi #touya x y/n #touya todoroki #touya #touya imagine #touya fanfic #touya smut #touya x reader #yandere dabi #dabi #dabi request

[fruitcoops]

hiii i've just spent the last 36-48 hours reading your works and oh dear do i lOVE your writing and this universe :') . i dont know if you are taking requests but i think it would be kinda interesting (and low key hilarious) if you would write the lions reacting/reading thirst tweets? idk if this is a dumb idea or not but just like some of them reacting to them and going "well i'm actually gay/married so.. no!.. but thank you!"

Part two of the six-month celebration, everyone! Thank you thank you THANK YOU to everyone who submitted comments--I had over 60 come in, and while I couldn’t include them all, reading them was a true joy. The Lion Pride channel was something I started writing on a whim; I never expected it to grow like this <3 Much love to all of you!

TW for alcohol mentions and thirst tweets (nothing explicit)

“Why do I always fear for my life around you?” Sirius asked as Marlene settled into a cushy chair to the side of their table.

She smiled, catlike, and crossed her legs primly. “Because only Finn appreciates me.”

“That’s just the Aries connection, Cap,” Finn said with a smug grin.

“We’re both Leos, Harzy.”

“Eh, close enough.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at her. “You should probably start asking questions before this devolves further, Marley. He’s gonna keep digging himself a hole and we won’t get anything done.”

Marlene’s smile returned with a vengeance. “That’s where you’re wrong, Loops! We’re not doing any questions at all today.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Read it and weep.” She tossed a small posterboard at him like a frisbee; he caught it, barely, though both Talker and Sirius had to duck out of the way. Marlene faced the camera and winked. “Welcome back to Lion Pride, everyone! Today I’m here with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Thomas Walker, and our wonderful cubs to react to your comments on our videos!”

“Bet you thought we’d never see ‘em, huh?” James asked.

“The comments fall into four categories: thirsty, funny, mean, and sweet. I will be reading two of those groups, and my lovely fiancée will be reading the others because she is the human embodiment of sunshine.”

“If you make Dorcas read the mean ones, I’ll be sad,” Leo laughed.

Marlene gave him a look of disbelief. “You think I’m passing up a chance to roast you guys? Puh-lease. We’re starting off strong with some thirsty, thirsty comments! Loops, you’re up first.”

“This is going to be fun,” Sirius said, leaning back in his chair.

She cleared her throat, then turned a smoldering look on their table. “I didn’t know I had a freckle kink, but then Remus Lupin appeared and now here we are.”

“Oh, shit,” Remus muttered, covering his face with his hands as the others howled with laughter.

“Lupin has been looking sexy as hell on the bench for years now. I'm so glad people are simping over him like he deserves,” Marlene read. “And there’s a little heart emoji, just for you.”

“This is every one of my nightmares come to life,” Remus said, though his voice was muffled by his forearms.

James lifted his glasses to swipe away the tears of mirth that had gathered in his eyes. “Are you kidding? This is everything I have ever wanted.”

“Y’know, it is so good to see people drooling over this hot piece of ass at last,” Finn sighed, reaching over to ruffle Remus’ hair as his face turned bright red.

“One more, and it’s a good one,” Marlene warned. She licked her lips, then had to take a moment to laugh before speaking. “I feel like Remus Lupin is the type of guy to bake you muffins—”

“Accurate,” Leo said.

“—but is also a kinky motherfucker.”

Remus’ mouth dropped open as the table erupted into cheering. Logan pumped both fists in the air and Sirius was laughing so hard no sound came out; Talker sank so low in his chair that only his head and shoulders were visible as he applauded.

“Why do people comment these things?” Remus asked, barely above a whisper. “Holy fuck, I’m engaged!”

“Speaking of…” Marlene raised her eyebrows and Sirius smile drooped.

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes. Buckle up, Cap!” She rolled her shoulders out. “Get someone who looks at you the way Sirius Black looks at a hockey puck.”

Remus snorted; James’ laugh was so short and sharp that it set everyone else off as well. “That sounds like I have a hockey puck fetish!” Sirius complained. “Which is so, so not true!”

Finn made an ‘ehh’ noise, and he leaned around Remus to smack the back of his head. “Hey!”

“Next one!” Marlene announced. “Sirius Black was my bi awakening.”

A beat of silence passed. “Is that it?” Sirius ventured, looking nervous.

“Yep.”

“Aw, man, that one’s lame,” Talker said, shaking his head. “Everyone thinks Cap is a little hot.”

Remus shot him a look. “A little?”

“Fair. Marley, I dare you to find one person who wouldn’t tap that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Me, though that dovetails nicely into the last one for our lovely captain. Ahem. I understand why Remus is with Sirius: he's hot as hell and rich, I'd hit that too.”

“Oh, fuck, you’re right,” Leo gasped. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Finn and Logan turned to him in unison with a mix of disbelief and offense written all over their faces. “Dude.”

“First of all, Leo, you found yourself two hot rich boys,” Remus interrupted. “Second, that comment is forgetting that he’s funny, and smart, and nice, and—”

Seconds after the initial cover, Sirius took his hand off Remus’ mouth as if he’d been burned. “Did you just lick me?”

“Moving on! This is in all caps, so be prepared.” Marlene shuffled through her posterboards and turned to Leo with an ominous smile. He glanced toward the camera in mild fear. “What does a person have to do to get some hockey player ass?! Like why is Leo Knut so fine?!”

“Amen!” Logan called as Leo blushed.

“According to six of the seven people at this table, the answer to that first question is to be a hockey player,” Talker laughed. “The world may never know the answer to the second, sadly.”

“Lily could play hockey,” James said, resting his chin on his hand. Every single one of the others rolled their eyes. “She could! She’d be so good at it, too.”

“We know,” Finn groaned. “You only mention it every other day.”

“Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Potter,” Marlene began with a sly look as she held up a new card. “Do James and Lily Potter need a third? Asking for me specifically.”

James paused, dumbstruck, while the others drummed their hands on the table. “…no?”

A general sigh of disappointment went up. “I was really hoping he’d say yes,” Leo said.

“Ask Lily next time,” Remus recommended.

James turned to him and blinked slowly. “What are you insinuating, Loops?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Don’t worry, James, you’ll like this one,” Marlene assured him. “James Potter is the ultimate dilf.”

“You’re damn right I am!” James whooped. “Vindication, bitches!”

“Marley, what have you done?” Talker whispered. “He’ll never shut up about that, now.”

“Oh, never,” James all but cackled. “I’m officially a dilf, you guys!”

“I hate you,” Sirius groaned.

“Tremzy, are you ready? We’ve got a couple very special ones for you,” Marlene said.

“Anything to get us out of this hell,” Logan begged.

“In that case: Logan Tremblay’s ass is better than Sidney Crosby’s. I said what I said.”

A pleased flush rose to his cheeks as Finn and Leo high-fived over his head. “Really? Thank you!”

“And they would be correct!” Finn announced. “Best ass in the league.”

“Come on,” Remus scoffed, though he was smiling.

Marlene cleared her throat to get their attention. “I don’t think I can legally read this on air without being censored or getting the video taken down, but…”

She turned the board around; all seven of them leaned forward to read it, then slowly looked at Logan, who turned vivid red. “Mon dieu. Is that—someone commented that on a video? Like, for people to see?”

“I feel like I need to bleach my eyes,” Sirius said just as Finn began shaking with silent laughter.

Leo’s face fell. “You wrote that, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Finn wheezed, scooting forward to fist-bump Marlene. “We wanted to see what you guys would say. Fuckin’ hell, your faces.”

“Alright, Talkie, are you ready?” Marlene asked around her laughter. “Seeing Thomas Walker with a baby makes me want to have his babies…please hit me up.”

He held up his index finger and took a second to laugh before responding. “If that’s Noelle, yes. If that’s anyone else, I’m flattered, but absolutely not.”

Logan made a face. “Ew.”

“We have two more,” Marlene warned. “For some very special people that aren’t here today, but I think you’ll like them anyway.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “I don’t trust the look on your face.”

“Daddy Dumo makes me swoon.”

A muddle of horrified noises echoed through the studio as all seven of them cringed. “Oh, my god, that’s my dad!” Logan yelped, covering his ears. Sirius looked vaguely ill and Remus’ shoulders crept toward his ears; James shuddered.

“The worst part is, we all know he can get it,” Finn said with a grimace. “God, I feel like I just heard someone talking about my parents having sex.”

“I’m sure he’ll love to hear that,” Marlene laughed. “Last one, from one of our truth or drinks.”

Remus went pale half a second too late. “N—”

“Hope Lupin is a milf.”

A broken noise escaped his mouth and he clamped his hand over it while Talker rubbed his back in sympathy. Sirius shook his head. “Somehow, that’s worse than Dumo’s.”

“Whoever sent that in, show some respect!” Leo said indignantly as Remus bonked his forehead against the table. “Hope Lupin is a lovely woman!”

“I think they noticed that particular fact,” Marlene pointed out, earning herself several scandalized shouts of her name and a whine from Remus. “That’s all we have for thirst comments! Are you ready for some funny ones?”

“Anything,” Remus pleaded. “I am begging you, anything else.”

Marlene shook her head as she stood, still smiling, and kissed Dorcas on the cheek when she entered the frame. “Go for it, love.”

“Dorcas!” they all cheered, lighting up immediately.

“Hey, guys, it’s been a while!” She curled up in Marlene’s vacant spot and took her own posterboards out from underneath the seat. “Alright, let’s rock and roll. Pascal Dumais is the team dad and nothing will change my mind, and Tremzy is the annoying youngest child.”

“That is so accurate,” Sirius laughed, leaning just out of range of Logan’s playful punch. “Whoever commented that has no idea how right they are.”

“We’ve got a whole sibling dynamic thing going on,” Talker agreed. “Tremzy’s the baby of the family, Cap is the quietly chaotic middle child, and Pots is the older brother that starts shit and inevitably gets blamed for however out-of-control it gets.”

Dorcas nodded. “You are one hundred percent correct. In a similar vein: Pots was the dad jokes friend before he was even a dad.”

“Painfully so,” Leo confirmed, shaking his head as they all groaned in agreement. James looked rather smug about the whole thing. “So many puns.”

“Oh, you’ll like this one,” Dorcas mused as she drew a new card. “If Tremzy looked directly into my eyes for even two seconds, all of my problems would be solved. I am sure of it.”

“Yes,” Finn and Leo said in unison.

“It’s something about the eyes, I think,” James added. “They just stand out so much that it’s a little startling straight-on.”

Logan looked to the camera and stared at it, unblinking; it zoomed in slightly on his face. “Everything will be fine,” he said with mock solemnity. “Your problems are solved.”

“Well, that was terrifying,” Sirius said drily. “Got any more for us, Ms. Meadowes?”

“Of course I do! We’ve got quite a few for Loops and Leo.” She took a sip of her water before getting comfortable again. “My favorite thing about these videos is that we can all see Loops get steadily buffer as the season goes on. Good for you, king!”

“Flex! Flex! Flex!” the six of them chanted; Remus rolled his eyes, but slid his sweater sleeve to his elbow and flexed his forearm, resulting in enough hoots and hollers that they could probably be heard a block away. Talker fake-swooned into Leo’s arms and Remus lightly whacked him on the shoulder.

“Remus Lupin looks like he has squishable cheeks,” Dorcas read aloud.

“He does!” James cooed, scooting over and reaching out.

Remus narrowed his eyes. “I swear to god I’ll bite you.”

Sirius cupped his face between his palms and kissed his nose, then pinched both his cheeks gently. “Ta-da!”

“How many of these do we have?” Remus asked, though his voice was a bit muffled by Sirius’ hands.

“Just one more for you, and it’s my personal favorite.” Dorcas assured him. “I love how the team probably had no impulse control until Loops joined.”

Sirius let go of his face and dissolved into laughter as Finn nearly fell on the floor. “Oh my—you think he has impulse control?” Talker slapped the edge of the table as he shook his head. “Absolutely not. Hell no, Loops is the first person to do stupid shit with us.”

“Yeah, I just don’t get caught,” Remus added around his own laughter. “Everyone thinks I’m such a hardass goody-two-shoes and it lets me get away with so much more than you delinquents.”

“Speaking of delinquents,” Dorcas continued. “This one is from our ‘Taste Testing Sexy Alcohol’ video: ah, yes, now I know how to do a body shot. 10/10, very educational video.”

“Do not take educational advice from us,” Finn blurted instantly. “I know this is a joke, but please exercise caution. That video was a ton of fun but a nightmare to recover from.”

Sirius winced at the memory. “I took two naps and then wished for death for a full day.”

“On a lighter note, who’s ready for some Knutty appreciation?” Dorcas smiled at her cards. “I've only had Leo Knut for a season and half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

“Big mood,” four of them said simultaneously.

Leo turned to the camera with a concerned look on his face. “That’s a meme reference, but are y’all okay?”

“No,” Dorcas answered. “Especially not this next person: Sometimes I do something productive and then I remember @LeoKnut is a 19 year old professional athlete who radiates happiness and with two of the hottest boyfriends the good lord has made, and then my bowl of packaged ramen seems less impressive.”

“I’m proud of your ramen,” Leo said, even as the corners of his mouth twitched in a smile. “And I appreciate the note about my boyfriends, because they are definitely the hottest people the good lord has made.”

Talker stuck his lip out in a pout. “Rude.”

“Sorry, Talkie, I’m biased.”

“Last one before Marlene comes back, so you’d better enjoy it!” Dorcas announced. “Did the Lions effectively utilize girl power when they wrecked toxic masculinity, yes or yes?”

“Can we utilize girl power?” Remus wondered, resting his shin on his hand. “Isn’t that exclusively for, y’know, women?”

“We can utilize himbo power,” Finn suggested.

James gave him an offended look. “Not all of us are himbos!”

“Okay, but you definitely are.”

“I am not!” James held up his fingers to count. “There are only, like, three qualifications, right? I might be strong, hot, and respectful, but I’m not dumb so it doesn’t count!”

“Pots,” Remus said quietly, hiding his smile for half a second. “Buddy, that was four things.”

James paused, then sighed in resignation. “Ah, fuck, I’m a himbo.”

“You really are.”

“At least we don’t promote toxic masculinity.”

They raised their waterbottles in a ‘cheers’ motion as Marlene and Dorcas switched spots; Marlene stretched her arms over her head and grabbed the new boards. “I’m back, beloved himbos. Talker, Leo, you are beloved by the people and have no mean comments. Cap, we’re starting with you.”

“Are they actually mean mean?” he asked.

“Sirius Black seems like a little bitch. Not in a bad way, necessarily. He just. Seems like he'd be a little bitch."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Oh, okay. That answers one question.”

“He’s not a little bitch,” Leo said. “Pouty on occasion, but not a little bitch.”

Remus gave him a long look, then shook his head. “Yeah, I mean, you teared up a little when Hattie got a splinter in her paw but didn’t even yell when you almost sliced your finger off while making dinner.”

“Duality of man,” Finn said sagely.

Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Finn O’Hara’s hair kind of reminds me of Garfield the Cat.”

“Alright, that’s just rude.”

“It does not!” Logan gasped at the same time Leo made a noise of agreement.

Finn turned to him in utter betrayal. “Nutter Butter, I thought you liked my hair!”

“I do!” Leo defended. “But they’re not entirely wrong. It’s very orange in the sun.”

“I’m never going to forget that,” Finn muttered, staring at the floor.

“Ugh, it bothers me so much that Lupin just objectifies Black all the time!” Marlene read in a high-pitched, nasal voice. “No respect in that relationship!”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Pardon?”

Marlene stared at it for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, I have no idea what videos they were watching. Do you feel objectified in your relationship, Cap? I know the opinion of total strangers really bothers you a lot.”

“I’m really glad you picked up on that,” he said with false gravity. “Yeah, it’s such a bummer when my hot fiancé says I look nice. Such a blow to my self-esteem.”

“That was supposed to be a roast against me,” Remus said, looking amused. “Talk about backfiring.”

“Are you ready, Pots? This one’s pretty brutal,” Marlene warned. James nodded and Finn linked their hands for moral support. “James Potter is a swiftie and you cannot tell me otherwise.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “…yeah? That’s true? T Swift is a regular occurrence on the locker room playlist.”

“Also, James Potter looks like someone who would think black pepper was spicy.”

“Now that one is mean,” he complained as the others burst out laughing.  “It’s not my fault I have sensitive taste buds!”

“Oh, honey,” she said under her breath as she took a new card. “Get ready, Tremzy. This first one is short and sweet: Logan Tremblay looks like a lesbian.”

“That is not an insult,” Logan laughed. “Every lesbian I know is rad as fuck. I wish I looked that good in a leather jacket.”

“I just realized Logan doesn’t look short cause he’s next to bunch of hockey players, he’s short cause he’s 5’9.”

The smile slipped off his face in a millisecond as the others roared with laughter. “Quoi?”

“Oh, she got you good,” Sirius gasped, patting his shoulder clumsily. “Holy fuck, can I frame that?”

“That’s not what it says.” An edge of distress appeared in Logan’s voice. “Marley, that’s not what it says.”

James sat on the floor with the heels of his palms pressed against his eyes. “You’re fucking—whoever sent that in, you are my new favorite person. Jesus.”

“Do you need a second to recover before we move on?” Dorcas asked as she draped her arms over the back of Marlene’s chair. “The next one is our biggest section by far.”

“It’s the sweet ones, yeah?” Leo asked.

“Right.”

“It might be a good idea to do those before Lo spontaneously combusts.”

“Agreed!” She swapped with Marlene and hauled a short stack of posterboards out from their hiding place with a smile. “A hug from Dumo can probably solve any issue.”

“Facts,” Logan said. “I could really use one right about now, too.”

“Has anyone noticed how blue Leo Knut’s eyes are?”

“Yes,” the six of them chorused.

Finn gave him a dreamy look. “Every single day.”

“When I first read this one, I thought I wrote it,” Dorcas said with a snort. “Someone give Marlene a raise. No reason why, I just love her.”

“Can we do that?” Sirius asked, looking toward the camera crew. “Can we lobby to give you guys raises? Because you definitely deserve it after all the bullshit you deal with to make these videos watchable, and Marlene, you’ve drawn the short end of the stick ninety percent of the time.”

“How?” she called off-screen.

“You have to actually talk to us and try to get answers.”

“Fair.”

Dorcas finished scribbling something down on her notepad. “Just making a note of this conversation for future reference. Moving on! Sirius Black and James Potter are a prime example of hockey husbands, and I adore them.”

“The ironic part of that is that we’re both in committed relationships, but we’re basically married,” James mused.

Remus shook his head. “You guys are so married. Lily wanted to get you matching rings for your birthday, Pots.”

“That would be so cool!” they said in perfect unison. Remus turned to the camera and spread his hands in a case in point motion.

Dorcas stifled her laughter before moving on. “This one is cute. Give Remus Lupin all the hugs! I feel like I could tell him he’s an inspiration and he’d be so nice about it—” She paused to glance up at them. “—this next bit is in parentheses: all the LGBT Lions give me that vibe, but Cap and Knutty are super intimidating so I wouldn’t have the guts.”

Leo’s face fell and Sirius’ eyebrows pitched. “I’m not intimidating!” Leo protested. “I thought we already went over that! Loops gives fantastic hugs, but I want some, too.”

“He definitely deserves all the hugs in the world, but I promise I’m nice,” Sirius said, a bit softer than usual. “Is it because we’re tall?”

Dorcas half-shrugged. “Probably. It’s a little startling at first. Oh, I could’ve written this one, too: The Venn diagram of men I trust and the Gryffindor Lions is a full circle.”

Talker beamed at the camera. “Thank you!”

“So many hockey guys are such douchebags,” Logan said with a shake of his head. “I’m really glad we don’t do that shit.”

“Me, too.” Dorcas slid her old card under her chair. “Sirius Black’s hair looks so soft and I just want to touch it so bad.”

“It is so soft,” Remus agreed immediately. “You have no idea.”

“Everyone wants to touch Cap’s hair,” Finn said, sighing. “It’s so majestic.”

“I need a haircut.”

“No, you don’t,” Remus said as he tugged a stray curl. Sirius hummed.

“This one is from the interview some you did with Jules and Katie: these hockey boys being so soft with kids is my aesthetic! Like, it’s just so adorable to see these big, intimidating dudes be so, so sweet! Love them all!” She turned the card for them to see. “And then they added a heart at the end.”

“It’s impossible to be around those kids and not be happy,” James said. “They’re just too cute and wonderful.”

“Yeah, I love kids.” Finn nodded. “Especially the Dumais and Jules. They’re a hoot.”

“Jules would die if he heard you say that,” Remus laughed. “The hero worship is still going strong with most of you.”

“This one made me laugh when I first read it, but it’s really sweet,” Dorcas informed them. “Anyone else feel like we were deceived these past five years into thinking Cap was this hard-ass man, when in reality he's a cuddle bug who definitely captures and releases spiders instead of squishing them?”

“You weren’t deceived, I was just closeted,” Sirius said. “Also, I absolutely squish spiders.”

Remus gave him a look. “No, you do not. That’s my job. I’m the catch and release person if I can get away with it.”

James shook his head. “The third week of practices you saw a spider and threw me at it.”

“You did what?” Finn asked.

“There was a spider in my stall,” Sirius sighed, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else. “And Pots and I were talking so I didn’t see it until I almost sat on it, and my brain decided the only logical thing to do would be to grab him and shove him toward the spider.”

“That was after you shrieked,” Talker added. “Like, literally shrieked. I’ve never heard anyone make a noise like that.”

“Alright, alright,” Sirius grumbled. “We get it, I don’t like spiders.”

Remus shrugged. “But you are a cuddle bug. They got that part right.”

“We’re in the final two!” Dorcas announced. “This one has some pictures to go with it, so it’s on my phone. Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have.”

“It’s us!” Leo cooed as the phone made its way down the line. In the upper corner of the screen, the photo appeared—it had been taken in New York, and Logan’s whole face was alight with happiness as Leo and Finn each pressed a kiss to his cheek. The camera caught him mid-laugh, so his eyes were closed and his chin was tucked slightly into Finn’s Strand hoodie.

“That’s my screensaver,” Finn said with a grin, pulling his phone out and turning it toward the camera without moving away from Leo. “One of my favorites.”

“I forgot you took that one,” Logan murmured. He hooked his chin over Leo’s shoulder and kissed his cheek; the four others at the table gave soft are you seeing this? looks to the camera and Dorcas smiled.

“Pots, I think yours is next. I hate to break it to you, Talkie, but they didn’t get any of you and Noelle.”

“We don’t take a ton of pictures together,” Talker said as James took the phone. “I mean, we take a bunch of selfies, but we don’t live close enough to each other to actually post that often. What picture is it, J?”

James was staring down at the picture with an unbearably sweet expression. “It’s our wedding. That’s my favorite one, actually.”

Like Logan, they had been captured while laughing—Lily was bent slightly at the waist as James clapped, his glasses just as askew as the flower crown on her head. It was impossible to tell who had told the joke originally, but they were both radiant in the sunset.

“That’s a really good one,” Sirius said with an unreadable look on his face.

“Well, well, well, fancypants, you two got a video.” James wiggled his eyebrows and Remus leaned in to see.

“What kind of video? One of our tikt—oh. Oh, this is so cute.” He shifted his chair over as the short edit began to play. “D, who made this?”

“A fan.”

“It’s really impressive,” Sirius said without taking his eyes off the screen. The edit was a series of photos, both on and off the ice; Sirius knocking their helmets together, then Remus looking back over his shoulder, then both of them in the water playing chicken in the sun. It was a slideshow of their life and their love.

“Can you send that to me?” Remus asked when it was over. “Cause that’s super cool.”

“Sure thing. Are you guys ready for the last one?” When they all nodded, she drummed her fingers on the posterboard and cleared her throat. “Arthur appreciation hours. He deserves it after managing to control the team.”

A cheer went up—all seven stood and applauded, half-laughing and half-whooping. “Miracle worker!” Sirius called.

“Best coach in the league!” Finn added.

“Most tolerant man to ever walk the earth!” Remus raised his water in a toast and they tapped the plastic edges together, nearly spilling all over the table.

Dorcas’ eyes crinkled in a smile as she turned to the camera. “That’s it for today, Lions! Tune in next time for more content of our boys, and thank you for such wonderful comments!”

[kashimos-hajime]

homestretch of the hard times | g.t.

summary: the eve days of your potential death kinda spurns things to move forward: for takemura, it means confessions. for you, it means making exceptions. and drinks. ‘cause takemura’s the pickiest fucking eater you’ve ever met.

WARNINGS: small spoilers for act 1 of cyberpunk 2077 and references to non-spoiler texts between takemura and v, just fluff, small angst, swearing, idk what else is going on so if there are actual spoilers thats completely coincedental ndlnskfsldnf pairing: goro takemura x fem!street-kid!v word count: 2.6k

a/n: so cdpr did us dirty for not allowing us to romance him (to my knowledge) but he has my mind, heart and everything else so :) listened to the bones by maren morris w/ hozier

part of the tales of a two-bit thief series

It starts with something straight out of a romance movie: A car crash, saving each other’s lives (well, him more than you) and “Wait, V, I need you.”

You don’t know how you got here, to be precise. There were a chain of events, some absolutely stand up fucking moments on your part, and just… fuckery. So much fuckery and life went to shit.

All you know is the ticking time bomb’s only ticking louder and at this point, the only thing that can silence it at all is the man beside you. Not even the meds Misty gave you can help you now. 

You’re sitting in his car because you called him and he had answered and now… now they’re on one of the off ramps looking over Night City like they own the fucking place.

Maybe you did, once. Ha, maybe back when everything seemed more job to job and not life to life. For a moment, maybe you were in the big leagues.

Takemura doesn’t say anything, even though you can tell he wants to. His hair still pulled into that man bun, collared shirt with not a single wrinkle in sight. Weird how he never looks out of place, not really. Not even with the car crash. Shit, he always looked good.

You think you’re actually gonna miss that. That one semblance of someone being put together that gave you the hope that maybe you could stick it too.

You think you’re gonna miss a lot of things about him—from his stupid complaints about the food here, to his stupid random philosophy texts in the day, to the fact that he eats the ramen you buy anyway without complaint, even though it’ll never compare to what he has in Japan.

The thought that counts.

They don’t even have the radio on, just the dim lights of the car, a window rolled down. You don’t smoke but you feel like you should be tapping a cig either way. You haven’t had the time to just fucking breathe—not with Silverhand breathing down your neck, corpo rats swarming you on all sides. 

Everyone wants a piece of you, it feels like. 

You look at Takemura.

Almost everyone.

“Thank you,” you tell him quietly, with difficulty. It’s hard to get through your words without thinking Silverhand’s behind your back, mocking you. You’re so fucking tired. “It hasn’t been easy.”

He doesn’t respond. He’s too busy looking at one of the cars nearly collide with a pedestrian. You could’ve laughed. You used to make fun of the shitty drivers in Night City, knowing full well you’re one of them.

You get chased by a couple of cops, rules start to bend.

You used to wonder why you never left.

Then, you actually left, and you realized that hell, you can take the person out of Night City—can’t take the Night City out of a person.

Atlanta fucking sucked, but maybe you should’ve stayed there.

But then, a tiny voice whispers as you look out the window to the fresh night wind. You never would’ve met him.

It’s funny, you think. To come back and get a brain tumour in the shape of a rocker who can’t fucking touch anyone who loves him, who he loved, only for you to fall in love with a corpo you can’t fucking touch at all because… because there is no time left. It just isn’t fair.

“I used to be a corpo kid,” you confess, looking at him with a wry smile again. That catches his attention. He looks at you with those eyes that scrutinize you, interrogate you, peel you apart to your bare essentials and you have to look away before you can’t control your face anymore. God fucking damn it. “Not when it mattered, obviously, but… I remember what it was like. Grew up hating every single on of them.”

“Your parents were Arasaka?”

“Mhm. Security division.” It’s like your eyes are magnetic to his because when you blink, you find yourself regarding him again. Your fingers play at your lips. “Counterintelligence. I was supposed to go into that, too. Big dreams.” 

“I see.”

“Yeah, then my parents were tried for treason and murdered, so I got thrown out. That’s it.” Your hand falls away. You pick at the chipped nail polish on your thumb. “Never told anyone that. ‘Cept…” Jackie. Well, he’s fucking dead, now. “‘Cept you, now, I guess. Guess some corpos aren’t so bad.”

The corner of his mouth pinches up like he’s flattered and you can’t help the pleased warmth spreading through your chest. 

“Should I be honoured I am one of the few exceptions you have made?”

“Well, I don’t make exceptions often, so…” You grin slyly. He looks away just as you catch a flash of his smile growing. It’s a nice smile. You wish you saw it more often before the end of the road. Maybe it’s one of the regrets you have, too. “Yeah, maybe you should feel special.”

“Hm.”

“C’mon, Takemura. Humour the walking dead, yeah?” You stretch against the leather of his car seat with a pleased sound. “I’m spending what time I have left with who I want to. Can’t ask for much better than that.” A quiet hangs in the air as you melt against the black leather and you look at Takemura who’s staring at the wheel with an intensity you don’t often see. It makes your gut squirm. 

“And I? I am one of those people?”

You lean on one hip and look at him, bending a knee and resting an ankle on your thigh. He looks at you with an uncertainty—an uncertainty you’re sure echoes in your eyes.

It was business, then it wasn’t. Maybe it never was.

“Yeah. You’re one of the few on the short list.”

“Exceptions again.”

You laugh. “Yeah. You’re an exception to most things, I think. Weird, that.”

“How so?”

“Ah, I don’t know. I’ve had family—still do, ones that matter, you know. Just… no one ever like you, Takemura. Drives me crazy.”

“The feeling is mutual. Your mocking brings you onto thin ice, V.” His fingers tap against the steering wheel. The engine’s off so it seems more fidgety than anything. Weird. You never noticed he fidgeted before. Maybe he’s nervous?

About what?

“I must ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“If you have a future, what do you see for yourself?”

Your eyebrows shoot up. You frown and pick at your flecking nail polish even more, looking at your hand and focusing more on that so you don’t have to answer your question. His eyes burn into you and you swallow, trying not to act like you haven’t thought, in regret, at night, about a hundred million fucking times the possibilities they could’ve had together.

You’re not about to say all that.

Instead: “Settling down with the family. Mama Welles, people at the Coyote.” You blatantly don’t look at him when you add, “Others. This has been enough action for a lifetime.” You rest your hands on your lap and chance a glimpse at him. He’s looking away from you, out the window on his side, and you shift in your seat. “How about you? You must’ve… had dreams. Before all this shit went down. You make it out of here and then what?”

When he looks at you, your heart nearly cracks at the sadness in his eyes. He smiles, but there is no strength, and his eyes are darker than the night surrounding them.

“I would go to the countryside, just as I’ve always wanted. Leave this, all of this, behind. Rural Japan is beautiful, so a small town would suffice where everyone knows everyone. We do favours for one another. It is community. Nothing like here.” His lips pull into a tiny frown. “When I was a younger man, I wanted a daughter,” is all he says. “I believe I could have been a great father, so perhaps… perhaps one day.”

“A daughter? Not a son?” you ask curiously, and he almost chuckles. You can’t help the faint smile on your face. 

“If my daughter grew up anything like her mother,” he explains with a slight glance towards you, “I would have more hope than a son who was like me.”

You frown.  “You’re not a bad man, Takemura. Any son like you—with your code of honour, your shitty selfie skills—no one’s gotta a chance.”

He merely scoffs in response. Again, with the you mocking him. It’s a wonder he lets you.

“But really, that sounds… nice. A daughter, a wife.” You drum your fingers against your knee and his eyes dart to yours, click like they were always destined to meet, and your lips part. Words stall on your tongue and you want to speak but in the dim lights, you are lost in the darkness of his eyes. Something comes, something goes, and you barely croak out, “Whoever marries you will have to deal with so much of your shit that the kids have to turn out alright. The complaining, for one. Picky eater for another.”

This time, he does chuckle and you swallow a breath at the sound. “Dealing with it comes with practice, V.”

“Is that so?”

“Shouldn’t you know?”

“I—“ For once, no funny retort, no witty quip shoots out of your mouth, and you realize that there is an implication—an intricate dance where they’re struggling not to step on each other’s toes and nearly failing at every turn, yet somehow, it works because they’re dancing, and it’s quiet, and it’s… it’s peaceful.

Shit, you’re getting a load of this. When’d you become a poet?

“I guess I should know,” you finally say. “Never understood why I got so giddy whenever I saw your texts, you know, seein’ your name flash on my phone.” You laugh bitterly. “Guess I know why, now.” He’s silent and you don’t look at him. You look at the dashboard where you’ve kicked your feet up a dozen times, the glove compartment that still has your sunglasses inside.

Shit.

“Thank you for everything. Shit’s a little… more bearable, I guess. When you’re around, that is.” The words come out stilted, awkward, but your heart is so heavy in your throat you feel like you’re going to choke. You look into your lap, your whole body incinerating under what you’re sure is the most judgemental glare of your life and you just hope to fucking God this man says something, does something.

Holy shit. You’re going to die of embarrassment. Didn’t even think that was possible.

Then, a loud sigh. A sigh you’ve heard often enough beside you right before a gunfight or when he has to eat the food you ordered for him or even the nights when they’re exhausted, bruised, and just plain tired right before going to sleep where they lay on the floor.

It’s exasperated, a how on earth did we get here, a very annoyed again, you’re so fucking stupid, and you’re still running through your list on what this particular sigh can mean before a hand gently takes hold of yours. Your eyes dart to his, blinking and he stares at you like you’ve just stabbed him. Your heart is fucking racing in your chest, pounding like thunder. His fingers fold over and you realize, as you interlace fingers, that his skin is burning at your touch. 

Or maybe, it’s the other way around.

They sit there in silence, not looking at one another, looking out windows, parts of the car, everything but each other, and when he squeezes your hand, you close your eyes and swallow your heart.

It’s over.

“V,” he murmurs, voice so deathly quiet and raspy in your ears that your gut clenches. You turn to watch him. “Tell me that you will not stop fighting.” You swallow your breath as his eyes flicker from your own to your parted lips. He inhales quietly and you swear you can feel his heartbeat pulsing in his fingers in your grip. “That this is not all for nothing.”

“It isn’t.“

“Then I was right.” His eyes flutter back to your gaze and he tilts his head. Wisps of fine hair escaping his manbun brush over his nose and you reach up on your own accord, swiping it behind your ear. You lean over the console, your elbow digging into the leather and, tentatively, you trail your fingers down his jaw, hold his face in your hand. “I am… what is that phrase you use so often?”

“SNAFU?”

“No.”

“Assblasted.”

“No.”

“Royally fucked?”

“We need to expand your vocabulary.” You smile nefariously as his other hand reaches for your chin. He pinches it lightly, thumb stretching up to brush over your lips and your face freezes at his touch. “But yes. Royally fucked. I wasn’t wrong when I said I needed you.”

“I think that meant a whole something else back then,” you whisper rawly and he smiles sombrely. His thumb leaves your mouth to brush your cheek, his eyes fixing on you as if he’s trying to memorize aspects of your face: the arch of your nose, the bow of your smile, the way your brow wrinkles. “Meant more business-like.”

“I did. And now, I believe the terms have changed.” He arches an eyebrow. “Are we at a mutual understanding, V?”

“Yes.” And I hate that we are. Your hand along his jaw lifts to wrap around his wrist. “Consider that feeling mutual, yeah? It goes both ways.”

“I will.” Another small smile graces his lips. It makes him look younger every time and you rub your thumb over the back of his hand. 

“Do you wanna grab something to eat before you drive me back home for some shuteye?”

“The choices here are atrocious, V.”

“Then, drinks,” you propose, letting go of his wrist. He lets go of your chin, and turning to face the front, you kick up your feet on his dash. He stares at you for a moment then sighs because there really isn’t anything he can do about it. Nor, do you think, he wants to. You squeeze his hand and send him a silly smile. “How about drinks? I wasn’t hungry anyway.”

“Are you paying?”

You eye him incredulously. “Who do you take me for? You?”

He snorts and the engine roars to life with a flick of his wrist. He grabs the wheel dominantly and you swallow at the way his fingers wrap around the handle. “The Afterlife, then?”

“Or, we could make it rustic.” You pull his hand into your lap playfully and run a thumb over his knuckles. His eyes flit over and you send him a smirk. “I know Mama Welles doesn’t like you, but the Coyote’s serving cheap. Happen to like me there.” He begins to pull out of their little overhang and he nudges their joined hands into your abdomen, silently telling you to buckle in. Rolling your eyes, you mumble out a ‘boomer’ underneath your breath before letting go of him and following orders.

He settles a hand on your thigh and squeezes. You hang an arm out the window. 

The wind’s running through the car, he has the radio on low, and they’re easing through onto the highway.

Your chest is lighter than a feather, mind’s quieter than a ghost.

You’ve seen scarier deaths, dealt a lot more. You know that silence is a bigger killer than most bullets.

But here you are now…

“I’m changing this,” Takemura says. “This music is terrible.”

…Shit, maybe life isn’t so bad, ending the way it is.

#takemura #takemura x reader #takemura x you #takemura x v #takemura imagine #takemura imagines #goro takemura #goro takemura x reader #goro takemura x you #goro takemura x v #goro takemura imagine #goro takemura imagines #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 fic #cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction #cyberpunk 2077 imagine #cyberpunk 2077 x reader #cyberpunk 2077 x v #my writing #fic: tales of a two bit thief

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Booty Shorts

Pairing: BNHA Boys x fem!reader

Warnings: Groping and lots of making out. No-no language in Bakugou's. Idk just general vulgarity, I guess.

Author's Note: 

I don't really know what I was thinking when I came up with this, but, uh, here it is. I made this.

Anyway, my idea behind this was something along the lines of an insecure and/or modest reader who normally dresses kinda conservatively around other people but one day she decides that she's comfortable and puts on some booty shorts and a tank top (spicy spicy) more or less for her boyfriend. That's literally it. They're all a bit different, though.

I am throwing my dignity out the window here, okie? It's all for you guys, so enjoy (ya horny fricks). 

Enjoy some more BNHA trash from me!

-Sugar (from prolly four months ago. This one is kind of old and I was debating whether or not I should post it, but I’m starting to get really tired of letting it sit in my drafts and I edited it so it wasn’t quite as atrocious as the original on Wattpad)

Jesus forgive me <( ‘-////-)>

↞┉┉┉↠

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari

Bakugou:

● You made your way up to Katsuki's dorm, cautiously making sure no one saw you

● You were wearing shorts that left little to the imagination and a hoodie, which you planned to discard soon after reaching your destination

● You knocked on Bakugou's door, which he quickly answered

● At first, he didn't even notice anything different, until his eyes slipped down and fell upon your bare legs

● He sucked in a breath and pulled you into his room, quickly shutting his door

● He pressed your back against his chest, his hands moving from their grip on your hips down to stroke your exposed thighs, then back up to squeeze your butt

● You knew he had a slight fascination with it, since you were constantly catching him watching you while you were turned away from him

● You had finally decided to give him exactly what he wanted, and you could tell he wasn't complaining

● "Did anyone see you?" he whispered in your ear, a possessive tone creeping into his voice

● "No," you breathed

● "Good." He gave you a light slap, enjoying watching the resulting jiggle

● He started guiding you towards his bed, where he pushed you down onto his mattress

● "What made you decide to tease me like this today?" he asked, bending over you, his hands going back to caressing your legs

● You shrugged nonchalantly, ignoring the flush that had made itself present across your cheeks

● He smirked and met his lips to yours in a searing kiss, his tongue quickly entering your mouth

● You sucked on it, pulling him closer as his lips moved to press against yours

● You halted your makeout session to pull your hoodie over your head, revealing a spaghetti strap tank top and no bra

● Katsuki kinda lost it; it being too early in your relationship to have been very intimate, so it wasn't like he'd seen your skin so much before

● His hands don't know where to go, wanting to be everywhere at once, touching and feeling every inch of your skin beneath him

● He palms one of your breasts, causing you to whimper into the kiss he had given you

● He decides to take his shirt off too, repaying your gesture

● The sight of his toned body causes your breath to catch in your throat and he grins at your reaction to him as you reach up your hands to touch him

● You make out for a long time on his bed, hands brushing over anywhere they could reach

● After several minutes, it comes to an end, the two of you pausing to catch your breaths

● "Why did I come over here again?" you ask no one in particular, your voice still breathless as you lay against Katsuki's pillow

● "To see me, dumbass." He settles himself beside you, his eyes occasionally dropping back down to your rising and falling chest

● "Well, yeah, but weren't we going to do something?"

● "You checked out of that when you showed up to my door in those shorts."

● "Like what you see?" You smirk

● "Of course, you stupid nerd. What did you think?"

● You chuckle and ruffle his hair, making him scowl. "Come on, weren't we going to watch a movie or something?"

● "I don't know."

● "Well we can't exactly make out all night—"

● "Says who?" Katsuki's eyes take on a familiar dangerous gleam

● If there's one thing you'd learned from your relationship, it was to never challenge Bakugou

● He straddled you once more, bending down to kiss your nearly bare chest, then worked his way back up to your collarbone, nibbling at your neck

● "Tonight," he said, his face still pressed into your skin, "I don't want to do anything that doesn't involve you up against me. And I'm not taking my hands off you until tomorrow morning."

● You swallowed and nodded, allowing him to plant more kisses against your body, worshiping your skin below him

● After another long round of making out, he finally got up and turned off his lights, sliding back into bed with you

● "You stopped touching me."

● "Fuck off." He laid his head on your boobs, tangling his legs around yours. "Good night, Princess."

● You smiled. "Good night, baby."

_______________

Kirishima:

● You and Kirishima had just come back from a late-night walk and decided to go up to your room for the night

● Kirishima had left to go get ready for bed while you did the same; brushing your teeth, washing your face, etc

● When it came to putting on your pajamas, you looked over to your tank top and shorts

● You shrugged, deciding to go through with wearing them for the night, knowing you would be more than warm enough with Kirishima pressed against you

● When you came out of the bathroom, Kirishima had already let himself in, and was now waiting for you on the bed; his hair down, in gray sweatpants and a loose t-shirt

● He turned when he heard the door open. "Hey, babe. Are you ready for—Woah."

● He stops when he catches sight of your exposed body, a dopey grin lighting up his features as his eyes slowly rove over you, taking everything in

● You're still standing by the door, a little bit shy

● He gets up and strides over to you, running his hands from your shoulders all the way down your arms, finally taking your hands in his

● He leads you to your bed, turning off the overhead light on the way, leaving your room lit only by the warm glow of your bedside lamp

● He sits back down on the edge of your bed, pulling you onto his lap

● He presses a few sweet kisses against your lips, eventually moving down to your jawline and then onto your neck

● His hands feel up the outer sides of your thighs, exploring the uncovered skin until he reaches your butt, experimentally giving it a gentle squeeze

● He finally picks you up and turns, laying you down onto your bed so he can kiss your collarbone, trailing more kisses all the way down to the exposed tops of your breasts

● You inhale deeply at the sensation and he notices, nuzzling his nose into you like an affectionate puppy

● You finally shiver and let out a little whine. The shock of if made the two of you pause and giggle

● Eijirou sighs and settles his head on your chest, reveling in the feeling of your soft skin against his face

● "What's with the wardrobe change?" he mumbles against you

● You shrug, threading your fingers through his soft red hair. "Just felt like it."

● He chuckled, the sound traveling into his chest and ending as a bit of a growl. You shivered again at the sound, your body barely held still by the weight of Kirishima

● "I like it." He kisses you again

● "I feel comfortable around you now," you say. "I don't have to hide."

● Eijirou turns his head and opens his eyes to meet yours. "You're beautiful, (Y/N). You really are. You have nothing to be insecure about, especially around me."

● You smile softly, caressing his cheek with your fingers and pulling him back up to your face for a kiss

● He grins and pulls away from you. "I'm glad you are, though. Comfortable, that is." He reached up to flick off the lamp

● Now plunged in total darkness, he goes back to hugging you, pulling your chest flush against his while you let him rest his chin on the top of your head

● The warmth you share is heavenly; limbs comfortably wrapped around one another

● You cuddle each other asleep, the soothing rhythms of each others' bodies lulling you both into a state of tranquility

_______________

Kaminari:

● You slide on a pair of short shorts, frowning at yourself as you study the way they make your legs look

● Finally you give up on them, turning around and jutting out your hips to check your posterior

● At least they make my butt look nice

● You were trying on some clothes you had just gotten from your recent outing with the girls to the mall; glad to finally be alone in the solace of your room so you could look ever what you’d purchased.

● Your door suddenly flew open, catching you by surprise and making you jump

● "Hey, (Y/N), do you want to—woah."

● Denki had just barged into your room, totally catching you checking yourself out in the mirror

● He hastily shuts the door, making sure no one saw you

● You bite your lip, completely aware that you were only in a tank top and shorts

● "You look great," Kaminari says, coming up to wrap his arms around you from behind, his chin resting on your bare shoulder as he gazed at the two of you in the mirror

● Of course he'd fantasized about you in outfits like this before, but dang, you most certainly did not disappoint.

● "I don't know . . . ."

● The grin he had been sporting faltered. "What do you mean?"

● You squinted at your reflection as though it had done you a great personal wrong

● "Don't you think this is a little . . . much?"

● "No," he answers truthfully. "I like it." His hands start to move before he catches himself. "I'm allowed to touch you, right?"

● Your eyes widen at the idea, excitement flickering in the pit of your stomach at the thought of his hands on you. "Sure. It's fine."

● His grin returns in full force as he begins to slide his hands up your sides, wasting no time to seize your chest with both hands, feeling the weight of your breasts as he lightly bounced them in his palms

● After kneading and massaging them to his temporary content, he ran his hands back down your sides to cup your ass, moving himself back a step so he could see, giving you a light smack

● He hummed in satisfaction and spun you around, pulling you into him so your body could lay flush against his

● He guided your face to his own, pressing his lips against yours while his hands made their rounds again; rubbing your back, squeezing and caressing your butt, even trying to dip down enough to feel the smooth skin of your exposed thighs without breaking your connection

● He pulls back, his eyes shut as he whispers against your lips, "You really are beautiful, (Y/N). You should show it off a little more."

● You chuckle at his suggestion, his hands never ceasing their quest to memorize and explore every curve and angle of your body

● "Maybe not this much though, you have a point," he admitted, pausing to meet your eyes. "This is just for me, right?"

● You smirk and ruffle his hair. "It's for me too, ya dork. These are actually hella comfortable."

● Denki smirked, pressing a quick close-mouthed kiss to your lips. "Perfect," was all he said.

↞┉┉┉↠

A/N: If you want more characters (Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki), feel free to check out my Wattpad (linked on my navi post), but only at your own risk (＞д＜)

Taglist: @basicaegyo @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @pyrofanatic @sendhelpimstupid @xoxopam4​

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #kirishima imagine #kirishima eijirou imagine #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #denki imagine #kaminari imagine #denki x reader #kaminari x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #sugar fics

[katsukikiss]

JEALOUSY

JEAN x F!READER // COLLEGE AU // MINORS DNI!

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+, cheating(ish?), oral m receiving, soft dom jean, face f*cking, suggestive dancing (w/connie and eren), alcohol use, reader is wayyy too flirty with others lol

Jean is a super kind and forgiving boyfriend, but what happens when you push his limits?

AN: idk wtf this is I just know I love this man and I had to write for him at some point, let me know if I should make a part two 😵‍💫

WC: 2.5k

Masterlist

The air was warm despite the sun being long gone. The summer was nearly over and classes would be starting up again soon. Obviously someone needed to throw one last hurrah before that, and your boyfriend and his friends were going to do just that. Jean was such a kind lover, and was a bit possesive in the beginning but now he was nothing but a sweetheart and kept saying how he couldn’t wait to dance with you later that night. You had known his friends for years, hanging out with them since you guys were freshmen and always staying in their shared house they had together. But their eyes would linger on you for too long, something your and your boyfriend had always noticed, but a sloppy tongue kiss or an ass grab would usually solve the issue. He trusted you, and trusted his friends for the most part…

They placed you in charge of getting drinks for the party since you always complained about the beverages they would offer. You and Sasha went together to buy some beer, seltzer and liquor. It wouldn’t be a party if there wasn’t snacks, or at least that was Sasha’s motto. You drove to one more store to pick up chips and pretzels before bringing your friend home and heading back to your boyfriends place.

You made your way up to Jeans room to finish getting ready. He was busy downstairs fixing up the basement with new LED lights since the old ones short circuited at the last party. You were probably too comfortable in his shared house, most of your clothes were here too. You undressed out of the t-shirt and shorts you were running errands in and sat on a chair in your bra and underwear. Music blasting, half naked, sitting in front of your boyfriends mirror applying makeup, you had no care in the world. You couldn’t hear the belligerent knocking on the door so they entered.

“CONNIE! GET THE FUCK OUT!” you squealed at the man who had just entered, instinctively throwing your arms over your chest, leaving your legs and panties exposed.

“MAYBE TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN AND I WOULDN’T HAVE BURSTED IN LIKE THIS” he yelled back at you, laughing at your flimsy attempt to cover yourself. You fumbled with the volume buttons on your phone before looking back at him.

“Can I help you?” you questioned, giving him the faintest tint of attitude.

“Nah, Jean asked me to grab some wire for the speakers, but I might stick around a little longer” he said with a sly smirk. Connie was never afraid to openly flirt with you, even in front of Jean, and it didn’t bother the two of you much, you knew it was all in good fun so sometimes you’d tease him back.

“Oh yeah?” you mused, removing your hands from your chest. “I dont think you’d last very long in here” His face turned bright red, as it always did when youd pretend to be interested in him. Before he could even answer Jean was barging into the room and instantly stood in between you two to cover your body from his friend.

“Find the wire?” Jean asked plainly. Connie nodded and swiftly made his way downstairs to finish setting up. Jean pressed a hand onto his door to close it before turning around to face you with a disapproving look.

“You know youre mine right? I dont need Connie doing something dumb later because you were teasing him” he growled at you. You looked up with innocent eyes and rutted your lower lip out. Your pouty face and adorable eyes made it hard for him to seriously be mad at you.

“Im sorry baby you know I was just messing around”

“Yeah yeah I know” he said, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “hurry up though okay? People are gonna be here soon and I dont need more people seeing you like this”. You gave him a confirming nod and proceeded to finish applying your makeup, this time with the music playing a bit lower than before.

“To senior year!” Eren chanted and everyone repeated back “to senior year!” before you all downed shots of various liquors in the crammed kitchen. Jeans hand rested on your hip in a show of dominance. You were earning looks from his friends as well as some other senior guys you didn’t know. A tiny black dress was fitted to your figure, leaving very little to the imagination with the way it accentuated your curves.

“Y/N! Come dance with MEE” Sasha called out to you. You looked up at your boyfriend who nodded with a smile. He removed his hands from your body and watched you skip away to follow your friend down into the basement. He watched as a few others proceeded to make their way downstairs as well, as if they were following you.

The temperature of the basement was at least 5x hotter than the rest of the house because of all the bodies crammed into it. You were pretty drunk already, which is why the heat didn’t bother you or anyone else that much. Sasha pulled you through a sea of people to the back wall of the basement. The led lights outlined the ceiling with a purple glow that made it hard to see. You leaned onto the concrete for support because your head was spinning a bit after being bumped and pushed around while music was blaring. Your eyes attempted to refocus as you looked around for your friend.

“Stay here!!!! I will be right BACK okay?” she slurred. You lazily nodded as you watched the girl who brought you to this cave of a basement leave you alone. You scanned the dimly lit room for someone you knew, stumbling through the hoard. Two hands snaked their way onto your hips without you even noticing until your ass was aggressively pulled up against someones crotch. They forcibly swayed your hips in line with their own to the rhythm of the music. Your body stopped resisting and started to move on its own, the strangers hands no longer guiding you but rather holding on for the ride.

“Your ass feels so fuckin nice y/n” a familiar voice gruffed in your ear. You recognized it as Eren; Your body halted for a moment as you thought of your boyfriend, but he wouldn’t be mad at you right? It was all harmless fun, he was the only one that got to really have you at the end of the day. The alcohol in your system drowned out those thoughts as you bent over and shook your ass against him, his hips rutting forward to feel every little movement you were making while his hands dug into you. You heard him whisper ‘fuck’ a few times when you would throw your ass back into his groin.

When you snapped back up you felt a new pair of hands on you. The man behind you now had more rhythm in his actions, grinding his hips against you to the beat of the pop song that you could barely hear anymore. You turned your head slightly to see Connie, his eyes fixated on your gyrating curves while the rest of the men were watching. You laughed internally, faintly recalling what happened between you two earlier.

“I was waiting for my turn sexy” he whispered in your ear, his hot drunk breath making your neck feel sticky. You wrapped your arm back and hooked it around his neck while slithering up and down his body. Your vision was blurry and your head was all over the place. You could feel his bulge growing with every twist and turn you made. His hands made their way up your sides to the front of your body and onto your breasts, squeezing entirely too hard. You pulled yourself off of him instantly upon feeling his intrusive hands on your chest, it was as if the feeling snapped you out of the drunken haze you were in. You turned around to scowl at him, backing up a foot or two before you bumped into someones chest. Connies eyes left yours and looked up to the person behind you with a shred of fear. Turning to look up, you found relief in knowing it was your boyfriend. Your arms wrapped around Jean and pulled him in tightly. One hand of his rested on the top of your head but he never stopped looking at his group of friends.

“Had fun?” he growled at them. Eren walked away, annoyed that their fun was ruined. Connie hesitantly backed up before attempting to apologize over the noise. He left and made his way upstairs, fearing that if he stayed any longer Jean would really hurt him.

“What was that about?” he snapped at you. While he didn’t care if they tried to flirt with you, actually putting their hands on you was too far for him. You backed off of his chest before speaking.

“I didn’t think you’d be mad baby I’m sorryyyy, but don’t you wanna dance with mee?” you slurred. He didn’t have his usual soft expression this time and your adorable looks didn’t have any effect on him anymore.

“Not anymore, you’re coming with me” he demanded. His low tone made you weak, you knew what was coming next when he spoke to you like that. He latched onto your wrist and pulled you up the stairs, through the kitchen, pass Eren who gave you a wicked smile and wink, as if knowing exactly what was about to happen. You made your way up to his room, he scooped you up into his arms and threw you onto the bed and stood at the foot.

“I said I was sorry” you pleaded, desperation in your voice and eyes. He liked when you would beg for mercy like this, you wanted what was coming next but pretending like you didn’t was so much more fun.

“Oh I know baby, but sorry isn’t gonna cut it tonight” he hummed. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and began crawling on top of you like a lion about to devour its prey. You felt so small underneath him and his presence. You could feel the heat from his breath on your neck as he leaned closer, and he could feel the heat between your legs as you pushed your hips forward. You were waiting to feel his mouth on your neck but he pulled away and got up from the bed, your face was visibly upset.

“You know I like to make you feel good sweetheart, but I don’t think you deserve that tonight, not after what you’ve done” he said, unbuckling the belt encasing his hips. He slipped it off and let his pants fall to the floor and signaled with a finger for you to come closer. You crawled across the bed and tugged at his boxers he still had on. He lowered them a bit and allowed his long thick cock to spring out onto your lips.

You gathered saliva and spit onto him, massaging it around with your hands. You kissed the tip a few times, giving it sweet little licks before wrapping your lips around and taking him in, your behind in the air while you descended onto his cock. His hands massaged at your legs as your head bobbed in an attempt to please your man and receive his forgiveness. He pulled you off his cock by your hair and flipped you over so your back was against the bed and your head was hanging off the side. He bent down to your ear and spoke.

“I think I deserve to fuck this pretty mouth of yours, especially since you were being such a slut tonight” he whispered. You nodded, a mix of concern and kexcitement on your face; he NEVER called you names like that before, but something about it was making you feel hot; you didn’t want it to end. He stood back up, your mouth hanging open waiting for him to use. Slowly, he pushed himself in, watching you struggle and gag from the sheer depths he was reaching in that position. He wrapped two hands around your neck and began to thrust ferociously, causing several tears to fall down your cheeks. His cock was pounding into your throat that could barely accommodate.

“Your my fuckin slut, you got that?” he growled at you, his voice shaky. You tried to reply but only gurgles came out. You loved this new side of Jean you were seeing, and wondered what else you could do to get him to treat you like this again. He could feel himself in that little throat of yours against his hands, and with every thrust he could see the bulge he was creating and it drove him wild. A sweet mixture of your gagging and his mumbles and groans filled the small room. His resolve was gone as his cock began to twitch, spewing his warm white seed down your throat. He had never came in your mouth before so you were surprised when he did, you felt so full with his cock and stuffed down your throat. He dragged himself out, a string of your saliva and his seed connecting you two to eachother before snapping apart.

“Open up sweetheart, I wanna see it” he said, looking at you upside down. You opened and allowed your tongue to hang out, exposing all of the sticky white fluid coating your mouth. He admired it all for a minute before he teasingly squeezed your cheeks together and stood up.

“You can swallow now” You gulped it down and coughed a bit, your throat sore from the abuse it just endured. Jean walked over to the bathroom and filled a glass with water and grabbed you a t-shirt. He sat down on the bed beside you, you stripped yourself of the little black dress you had on and slipped into the t-shirt.

“C’mere” he pulled you by the waist into his lap, “you know I love you right? I’m sorry if I was too rough” You nodded no, and nuzzled your face into his chest, his fingers drawing little circles on your back.

“I love you too Jean” you cooed. He was always so forgiving with you, never staying mad for too long, never going too far.

“How about we make a little more noise hm? Let my boys know who you really belong to” he suggested, a primal look in his eyes. Your legs quivered at the thought of Jean making you scream, and all of his friends getting hard just listening.

“Do it, make me scream” you whispered. In one swift motion he flipped you over onto your back and grabbed your face by the jaw, towering over you again like his prey.

“Im gonna make you regret that”

#jean kirschstein #jean x reader #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #aot smut #eren jaeger #armin aot #aot fluff