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w2soneshots · 14 days

Text

You’re to cute -W2S

Words: 1.0k+

Warnings: pregnancy, slight worrying.

In which Harry and the boys decide to cheer you up by planning a cute evening for you and the side girls.

a/n: I love this request, so cute🥹. Protective Harry🫶🏼. I hope you all enjoy!!🤍🧸🎀

Me and Harry have been together for almost five years now. We always knew we wanted kids so when I found out I was pregnant we were elated. It's been amazing so far. We had to wait almost 3 months to tell everyone, which was torture for Harry since he can't seem to keep his mouth shut. But once we could finally tell all of our family and friends it was amazing. I could rant to Faith about the good and bad things that come with being pregnant and Harry felt a huge weight off his shoulders.

This last six months I haven't been feeling the best. I had awful morning sickness at the beginning (which is how I knew to take a test), I'm tired all the time and the hormones have been wild. One minute I'm laughing the next I'm in tears then two minutes later I'm pissed off. But the first scan, listening to the babies heart beat, finding out we're having a little girl and feeling her kick make it one hundred percent worth it.

Today Harry had to leave for a sidemen shoot early so I woke up alone in our bed. I got up, make myself breakfast, took a quick shower then put on some comfy clothes and lay back down on the bed. I sighed as I turned the tv on, then I clicked on my favourite movie. I spent almost the entire day in bed and on the sofa which has been my daily routine for quite awhile now. I've been to lunch with Talia a few times, baby shopping with Faith and Harry always makes an effort when it comes to little dates, mini golf, bowling, stuff like that. But I've still been feeling a little bit left out.

When I finally heard the front door open I smiled. After he'd put his things away Harry pushed open the door to the bedroom. His face beamed when he locked eyes with me. "How are my girls?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, beside me. "We're good. How was your day?" I moved to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me. "Um some of it didn't really go to plan but I think it'll make the video funnier," He replied. "Actually... me n the boys were talking and -only if you feel up to it- we were wondering if you wanted to come out for dinner and we could watch that new movie that just came out in the cinema?" He proposed.

I smiled (tho he couldn't see my face) "that would be lovely. But don't you hate movies?" "Well I don't hate them, they're just not really my thing. But if it means getting to spend time with you and my friends then I really don't mind." My heart melted at his words, then uncontrollably tears began to spill down my cheeks. I sniffled and Harry quickly brought my face up so he could look at me. "What's wrong? We don't have to go if you don't want to." He reassured kindly. "No Harry I'm fine and I really want to go, that was just really sweet." I wiped my face. He laughed lightly then pulled me into a hug.

After getting up I brushed my hair back into a ponytail then slipped on some shoes before grabbing my phone. "Ready?" Harry asked. "Yup! Let's go." I replied with a bright smile. Harry drove (for once) and we were soon outside the cinema. He held my hand as we walked into the building. I looked around and spotted Faith, Freya and Talia standing near the popcorn, along with their boyfriends and Tobi. We walked over to them and a look of pure excitement spread across Talia's face. "You look so cute! How are you?" She pulled me into a friendly hug. "Pretty good, you?" I replied sweetly. We waited a few minutes for JJ to arrive, when he did we scanned our tickets and made our way into the theatre.

The entire movie Harry's hand was intertwined with mine, while my other one sat comfortably on my little bump. "You two are so cute." Faith whispered into my ear. I looked at her and smiled. Once the credits started to play we all got up and grabbed our things. As we walked out we decided on Nando's for dinner, since there's one just a five minute walk from the cinema.

As we were walking down the pavement a pretty big group of fans surrounded us. I was quickly pushed away from Harry as I got trapped in a small sea of people. "Hey!" I heard JJ's voice call out "move!" My eyes scanned around and they met with Ethan's. He lunged forward, pushing the teenagers out of the way. Then he gently grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards Harry. Josh, JJ and Tobi told the fans to politely "get lost." While Harry fussed over if I was ok. "Are you sure? Is the baby ok?" I nodded as my heart rate slowed "I'm fine. They didn't know. It's ok." I reassured him. Since I'm not really in the public eye we decided not to tell the fans that I'm pregnant. We want to just keep it to ourselves for now, our little secret.

With Harry on one side and JJ on my other we walked the rest of the way to the restaurant. Once we got there we found a table and sat down. Then Josh and Simon went to the front counter to order. Our food came just ten minutes after we'd ordered. We chatted amongst ourselves and I talked to Faith about the crib me and Harry had just recently ordered, since it wouldn't come for quite a few weeks and we wanted to have everything finished as early as possible. Once everyone had finished we walked back to our cars, said goodbye and headed home.

"Thank you for tonight Harry." I murmured as I lay on his chest. "I'm glad you had fun it was nice to see you laughing." He replied. My eyes closed "you're so cute." I whispered. "Good night y/n. I love you." "love you too." My voice trailed off as I fell into a deep sleep.

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heartofwritiing · 10 months

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I looked through your masterlist (I'm about to do some late night binge reading lmaooo) but I was wondering, because you have nothing in the dadbur section, maybe Wilbur with a pregnant reader or helping reader with their child (you can choose whether they're adopted or biological, thought to make in inclusive)

I'm probably going to be a bother in the future but... Can I be 🔗 anon??

Take care of you

paring: dadbur x pregnant!reader

Authors note: I love writing pregnancy fics they are such a comfort for me. so cute and domestic. sorry this took me awhile I was kinda struggling with what to write but i hope you like it anyways! This is crazy that you requested pregnant!reader because I currently have a Dadbur x pregnant!reader featuring Tallualh in my drafts, but it will be completely different from this! and yess I've never had an anon list before so I am excited you will be the first!

warnings: pregnancy symptoms, domestic fluff, short, not proofread, unedited!

Groaning as you stretch your limbs awake, you feel a sore pain in your tailbone. The weight of your growing belly was prominent as you slowly rolled your body to the edge of the bed so you could maneuver yourself up. It was never fun waking up every day with pain in different spots of your body, but no one said growing and carrying a human would be easy.

You were twenty-six weeks pregnant; every day was a blessing yet a curse. On the one hand, you had never been so elated to be growing a family with your boyfriend Wilbur, who when you told had never been so excited and happy. Swearing up and down he would be there to take care of you.

Wilbur had been your anchor through this new chapter of your life. He constantly checked in on you, ensuring you were comfortable physically. Always tolerant of your hormones and mood swings, and treating you with the most compassion and love you had ever received.

Once you had gotten up, you went to the kitchen to make some tea. You filled the kettle and placed it on the stove so the water could heat up, the clicking sound of the burner filled the room as a sudden taste reached your tongue.

The cravings you had gotten so far hadn't been so bad. Just bizarre things you usually wouldn't eat.

You suddenly felt a strong desire for celery with peanut butter, a craving that had become quite common for you. Your stomach began to rumble, a sign that you were hungry.

Rummaging through your pantry you located the jar of peanut butter and gasped with delight. As the kettle started to boil, you placed the jar on the counter and prepared your tea. Afterward, you searched the fridge for celery.

You searched and searched for the celery but nothing. Groaning, you shut the fridge, annoyed you grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer and settle for just the peanut butter for now.

As you sipped your tea, you leaned against the kitchen counter and scrolled through Twitter. Your feed was filled with videos from Wilbur's show last night. A giggle escaped you as a clip from a fan page played on your screen. Wilbur was bouncing around on stage like a golden retriever while 'portrait of a blank slates' instrumentals played through the speakers. You never got sick of seeing your boyfriend perform live on stage.

The front door to your apartment creaked open, and you saw Wilbur enter with several grocery bags. He kicked the door shut and toed off his shoes, leaving them by the coat hanger. He grinned when he noticed you standing there.

"Darling, I thought you'd still be in bed," he says.

He gazed at you with adoring eyes, taking in your tousled bedhead and his vintage Arctic Monkeys shirt draped over your noticeable belly. At that moment, Wilbur never felt so in love.

You shrugged as you watched him swiftly place the bags on the dining room table and quickly advanced toward you to give you a morning kiss. When he pulled away his hand rested on your bump, giving light rubs.

"I was cold and realized you weren't there so I got up," you pout.

" I'll remember to put more blankets on you If i get up before you,"

"Or just stay in bed with me next time," you suggest.

"That I could do," he replies and kisses you again swiftly. "How are you feeling?" His hands trail down your arms.

"Im alright, my lower back is killing me again." you grimace.

"What have we talked about, don't put so much strain on yourself darling." he chastised. "if you're feeling sore you need to rest."

Ever since you discovered your pregnancy, Wilbur has been a constant source of support. He's been avidly gathering knowledge, buying parenting books, and engaging in countless discussions with your doctor to ensure he's well-prepared to take care of you and your child. You knew he was going to be an amazing father with the amount of effort he was putting in.

"Wil, I'm fine, I am taking it easy like the doctor said but I can't stay in bed all day. I feel miserable."

He lets out a sigh of realization, acknowledging that he was being a little overbearing. You knew he always felt anxious about sicknesses and hospitals and found it difficult to control. Not just about himself, but for those he loved.

"I know you're just trying to look out for me, but it's too much sometimes I need room to breath."

You appreciated his protective and alert nature greatly, but at times it became overwhelming. It appears that he understood what you were trying to convey, as he gave you a look of apology.

""I understand. I just want to make sure you're taken care of," he admits. He would make an effort to avoid being overly fixated on your health.

You respond with a smile and nod.

"Now," he said taking the spoon from your hand, which you whined in protest. He took you by the hands and led you to the living room. "Sit on the couch, I'm gonna make you some breakfast."

Before you could argue further he ran to the kitchen and back with your mug of tea in hand as he hushed you.

Bewildered you sat there drinking your soothing cup of tea as Wilbur rushed around the kitchen. As he dashes around like a madman, his hair bounces with every step while grabbing things from various places. You hear primarily sizzling and the low sounds of him humming different songs that popped into his head. After he finished cooking, you observed him from the couch as he plated his meal and transferred it to a dish, and brought it over to you.

Wilbur had prepared French toast for you and seemed pleased with himself as he watched you dig in and sigh with delight at the taste of cinnamon and maple syrup.

You honestly know how you could live without him. He eventually came and flopped down next to you and enjoyed his own plate, chatting cheerily with you about random topics that came to mind.

Once you finished, he took care of both plates, sat behind you, and rubbed gentle circles around your lower back. The relief of the pressure being lifted was divine.

"That feels amazing," you tell him. Wilbur felt a sense of achievement knowing that he could make you feel better with just a simple touch of his fingers. His hands moved up to your shoulders, causing you to tilt your head back on his shoulder and close your eyes.

"Thank you, Wil."

You would have to remember to express your gratitude to him in some greater way someday.

Wilbur kisses your head tenderly and pulls you further against him. His hands move around to cup under your pregnant belly and lifted so gently to relieve some of the weight.

"Of course darling."

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from my taglist!

taglist: @trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10

#wilbur soot x reader #dadbur x reader #fanfiction #x reader #writing #pregnancy #pregnant!reader #wilbur soot x fem!reader #🔗 anon #request #dadbur x fem!reader #cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader #cc!wilbur

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russellsppttemplates · 6 months

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How much of their struggle to have a babies did y/n and Lance's families know? Like, did they keep things more between themselves, or did they share with few people( like y/n mom or Choe)?

Tw: infertility, IVF treatments

"Do you want me to go with you?", Lance wondered, "you wouldn't mind?", you replied, "of course not, sweetheart. We're in this together", he kissed your knuckles, "besides, your mother texted me yesterday saying that she had baked those little cakes I love", he smirked.

"Mom", you called, "remind me again of what happened when aunt and uncle were trying to have a baby", you asked. Having someone in the family with a similar diagnosis to yours meant that the baby questions were somewhat carefully thought through before someone asked them, so asking your mum, you figured, would be safe.

"Oh, well, they tried for a really long time, she took some hormones to help with her ovulation, because she had a low egg count", she said, "at the time, they also saw a specialist but the treatments were not an option for her, but around a year, a year and a half later, your cousin arrived", she finished, "something on your mind?".

"We've been doing the whole calendar thing and ovulation sticks, but it's yet to work", you admitted, "we both have healthy counts, so it's something else, but this really sucks, you know?", you blurted, feeling her hug you to her side, "I'm sorry, darling, but it will all work for the best, I'm sure of it", she kissed your forehead, "besides, it doesn't look like it's a job to try, you know? You have a very handsome looking husband", she smirked as you swatted her hand, "besides, as long as there is love between you two, you'll be good".

As much as you didn't feel like shouting out to everyone in the world that you would be undergoing fertility treatments to start building your family, you knew you and Lance needed support. Not because you were ashamed or embarrassed, but it was still a personal matter that involved your families, and having their support would be good to fall back on.

When you arrived at your parents' house, your father was quick to get some drinks out while your mother made some tea and got the little cakes to the coffee table, "so, Lance, everything fine at work?", you dad began, "yes, it's been going really well, actually", he smiled talking about a few new topics and some they had discussed the previous visit you had payed them.

"You're a bit quiet, darling, is everything okay?", your mother noticed, rubbing your thigh from her seat by your side, "Actually, I've been meaning to tell you something, we have, actually", you gulped, "We have been to Dr. Marlin's office again because we've been having trouble with trying for a baby, and as it turns out, it's a blocked fallopian tube, so things aren't ending up where they should end up and it makes the whole thing pretty much impossible this way",

"Oh, Y/N, I'm sorry", she got up to hug you before your dad gestured the sign you've had since you were little. You sometimes got scared when going to school, so whenever you were already inside the gate and he couldn't give you another hug after dropping you off, he would slightly cross his arms on his chest as if he was hugging you and you would do the same before stretching out your pointer finger as he did the same, pretending you were touching his. It had become a silly thing when you were little, but it quickly became your thing.

"We are going to begin the treatments soon, hopefully", Lance took over, "Dr. Marlin just needs to get the cycle up to speed and sorted out, and then we begin them when Y/N is comfortable enough", Lance noted, absentmindedly grabbed your hand in his, his thumb rubbing the skin.

"Honey, if there is anything we can help you, help you both", your father said, "let us know. You're not going through this alone", he smiled.

"How are you doing with all of it?", Chloe asked her younger brother as she bounced her little one in her arms. Scotty and Chloe had finally felt okay enough to welcome visitors to meet the new addition to the Stroll-James family and you and Lance also found the time to vist them between both of your schedules.

"I've been good. I think now that we know what is happening, we know how to deal with it. We kept trying and it wasn't working, so to know why it wasn't working and that there is a way to help it's comforting", he admitted, "Y/N has been good, too, I think. I've made sure she's telling me how she feels and whenever things get too much so we can work it out together, like a team", he smiled, stretching his arm and softly touching his nephew's cheek.

"I was so scared to invite you because I didn't want Y/N to feel bad about it. I know it's stupid to try and put myself in her position when I've never had issues, but I didn't want either of you feeling bad", Chloe added, "thanks for your consideration, but I think it's fine", Lance smiled as he heard Scotty's footsteps and your giggles coming their way.

"I'm proud of you, Lance", his sister complimented, "of the man you've become. I'm not saying I doubted you'd be like this, but it's a pleasure to see you like this", she nudged him, seeing her husband and you walking into the living room.

"Hey, look who's up!", you cooed at the little bow, "can Auntie Y/N have a cuddle? It's okay if it's not, though", you checked with your sister in-law, "of course it's okay, it gives me time to go to the bathroom!", she cheered, passing her son to your arms, "hello, sweet boy, you're wide awake now, aren't you?", you smiled, touching his soft cheek and seeing his light coloured eyes now open, "here", you heard Lance call you, arranging the space next to him on the sofa so you could sit next to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, "are you feeling good?", he wondered, checking in as you smiled at him, "yes, I am. Thank you for checking in", you kissed his cheek, "and this is good practice, isn't it? Isn't it, gorgeous boy? Yes, it is", you cooed at your nephew, hoping that this was a practice moment for what was to come.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

#lance stroll blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

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booboodaddysblog · 3 months

Text

Surprise

Part one

Warnings: pregnancy, argument, drama

Words: 4147

The day promised to be tough. Starting from the weather to the onslaught of work. Colin, with the last of his strength, reached home around 8 pm and fell on his bed lifelessly. He fell asleep.

—————-

Marg was shaken after yesterday's meeting with Colin. It took quite a bit of effort for her to focus on her work. In addition, she was not feeling well. She felt dizzy and her stomach hurt. She wondered if maybe she had eaten something wrong, or if it was just due to nerves. She knew that Colin was at work today, but he had spent most of the day in the field. On the one hand she felt sorry for him, but on the other she was glad that Colin had gotten soaked to the skin. A small punishment for his thoughtlessness.

She was snapped out of her reverie by a knock on the door.

- Hey dear, can I take a moment of your time? - Roby walked into her office.

- Sure, come in. I don't have a head for work today, besides I feel bad - she stood up and poured herself some water - you want some too - she asked her with a smile.

- Yes, I'll have one - she sat down opposite her desk - thank you - she said, taking a glass of water from her friend.

- Then what brings you to me? It's been so long since I've seen you. Two weeks is not so long, but nevertheless I was sad without you and eh... Colin - she took a sip of water.

- Ah yes... he messed up quite a bit. He was at work today. He looked good... but that's not really what I wanted to talk to you about - Roby looked at her hands.

- You know that I will always listen to you.

- Yes I know, that's why you are my friend - she smiled.

- So? - urged her Marg.

- Well, I know the truth about what Colin did. I thought you should know about it.

- Oh, but I do know.

- What do you know? - she asked curiously.

- He did it with a waitress, he was drunk - she sighed loudly.

- Aha...

- Aha? Is there something else?

- He lied to you - Roby whispered.

- What do you mean he lied to me?

- He didn't do it with a waitress and he wasn't drunk.

- Excuse me? - Marg stood up and started nervously walking around her office.

- The point is... You are not a saint either Marg. You have your sins. Being at the stage of dating Colin, you slept with your friend. And then you still invited me. I refused, and Colin... he just happened to agree....

- To the point Roby - she said in a calm voice.

But she felt that she was beginning to feel sick.

- I want to be honest with you....

- Say it at last! - she felt she was about to throw up.

- He did it with me, Marg. You can say, that I forced him, took advantage of his weakness - Roby covered her face with her hands.

Marg did not respond, only grabbed a trashcan at the last minute and threw up.

- Oh God, Marg, what's going on? Are you sick? - came up to her quickly and handed her a box of tissues - I'm very sorry for what I did. I don't know what got into me. Maybe it's my cravings before my period. Hormones.... It was such a stupid thing to do. You know... I feel terrible that I hid it from you for so long....

- Shut up Roby, I beg you - Marg sat down on a chair and closed her eyes.

- Are you angry with me?

- What do you think?

- You are angry…

- Of course I am. I am angry with both of you. You have damaged my trust, very badly. I don't know myself what to think about it - she sighed - both you and Colin... you betrayed me. It hurts... - she pointed to her heart - here... it bloody hurts.

- I know, I apologize to you for that. I'm really getting tired of remorse. I don't know what I was thinking.

Marg closed her eyes again.

- Come out, please. I have to put it all back together in my head. I want to be left alone.

- Okay - she left, quietly closing the door behind her.

——————

Colin was sleeping at his best. He was lying on his stomach, still in his clothes. He was snoring and didn't even care if he closed the front door to the house or not. He heard a knock on the door, but it seemed to him that he was just dreaming.

- Colin - he heard a whisper. He ignored it and continued to sleep. It's just a dream - Colin - louder this time. He sighed, but still didn't give a damn - Colin! - now it was far too loud. He opened one eye, but quickly closed it - Colin! You're a liar! - he felt a gentle pat on his cheek - I know everything!

He turned slightly and mumbled.

- Hmmm…

- There was no waitress and no alcohol. Cheater! Why did you lie to me? - Marg stood next to the bed and watched Colin pretend to sleep - don't ignore me, or it will be really bad.

- How do you know this? - Colin sighed and began to rub his eyes.

- From the person you betrayed me with.

Colin looked at her with sleepy eyes and raised his eyebrows. He sat down on the bed.

- Don't be so surprised - Marg grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

- Why did she tell you about it? - he asked unmoved by Marg's attack.

- Because she is my friend, and friends talk to each other about everything. I thought that the relationship between a man and a woman works on the same principles. However, I was very wrong.

- Why are you so pale? - Colin got up from the bed and walked closer to Marg.

- Don't change the subject.

- Are you sick? - he put his hand to her forehead - you have a fever. I'll go get a thermometer.

- I don't have any fever. I just have a stomach ache and feel sick.

- You definitely have a fever - he said, heading for the bedroom exit - I'll also bring something antipyretic and something to drink.

- I don't have a fev... - she grabbed a trash can standing by the bedside table and threw up for the umpteenth time today.

- Oh, yes... you feel great. I can just see - he grabbed her hand and led her to the bathroom.

- Get cleaned up, and I'll go get something to drink and something for your fever. Everything will be fine - he stroked her shoulder and left the bathroom.

- I don't have a fever, you idiot! - she shouted after him, but he didn't answer anything.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was really pale. She leaned over the sink and washed her face with cool water.

- Are you still feeling sick? - Colin returned with a glass of water, pills and a thermometer - let me take your temperature.

- No, I just have a stomach ache! Understand it at last!

Colin rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand.

- Can I ask you a question?

- No!

- Oh, calm down! I'm sorry... - he took Marg back to the bedroom and places her down on the bed and he hugs her - Why does it hurt? Tell me.

- I don’t know, my tummy hurts so bad - she said almost with tears in her eyes.

He sighed and put his hand on her forehead to feel her body temperature.

- Honey, I think you have a fever....

- No, I don’t…

- It's not up for discussion, you have a goddamn fever! Have you eaten anything?

- Yes, pizza.

- Please take some medicine - he pulled her close and hugged her.

- Why? You know I don’t like medicines.

- I know, but you don't have any choice in this case... - he kissed her on the cheek.

- Excuse me? You can't tell me what to do - she tried to push him away from her.

- Just take the pill and everything will be fine... - he looked at her eyes and pulled her close to him.

- No, what if I am pregnant?

Colin began to be confused and thought for a few seconds before answering.

- Why do you think you are pregnant?

- Because I have never felt such pain before.

- Honey, this... this is ridiculous... - however, he realizes something and puts his hand on her stomach.

- Colin, do you have pregnancy tests?

- Yes, yes... I think I have something. Wait - he went to the bathroom and returned with a pregnancy test.

- Oh my God, I feel like puke!

- It's the fever, take the test and we'll see if you're really pregnant.

- Okay, can you come with me to the bathroom? I don't want to be alone right now - she smiled at him.

- Okay - he seemed annoyed but agrees and followed her to the bathroom.

- Gosh, I don't want to pee right now.

- Come on, just a little pee - he approached her and pushed her hair away from her face.

- I’ll try - she sat on the toilet - Is that much enough?

- Yes, honey and... you're pregnant, congrats... - he rolled his eyes.

- Oh…

- So now let's take that medicine to end that damn fever... - he kissed her on the forehead.

- Aren't you happy that I'm pregnant?

- Of course I'm happy... are you happy?

- You don't look very happy....

- Honestly, I... I'm a little scared because it's my first kid... but I'm very excited, I trust you're going to be a great mother.

- Okay?

- Don't doubt it, my love - he kissed her cheek - now take the meds, okay?

- I have to throw up first. I feel so bad - she covered her mouth with her hand.

- Okay, go ahead and puke - he walked her to the toilet.

Marg felt really bad, but it seemed to her that Colin was not behaving as usual. He had become cold and distant.

- Colin, will you bring me some water?

- Of course, my love - he reluctantly went downstairs again to the kitchen.

Marg sighed, she knew something was wrong. It was hard for her to control her emotions now.

- Drink little by little, not too fast - he brought her some water and handed it to her.

- Thank you - she smiled at him.

- Don't mention it, I love you - he kissed her cheek and stroked her head.

- Aww, I love you too, I’m about to cry, Colin!

- Don't cry, honey, everything is fine - he laughed a little.

- Omg it's all because of the pregnancy, right?

- Yes, it's because of that... but don't worry, everything will be fine, I promise.

- Will you take care of me and the baby?

- Of course, I will, you and our baby are my biggest priorities. Why do you ask?

- Because I don't want to be a single mother.

- What? You won't be a single mother, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.

- Promise me!

- I promise, I'll never leave you and the baby - he puts his hands on his heart and looked her in the eyes.

- We need a wedding!

- Oh my God… I… I agree with you, but we'll take care of that later... okay? - he laughed.

- When? - Marg squinted her eyes.

- Hmm… that depends on too many things, we have to think about money, the venue we want, the reception... If you were my wife, would you let me handle it? - he smiled.

- Can't we do it together?

- I know that you want to plan our wedding, but I think it's better if I handle it without worrying about your opinions... I know you're not going to like that but trust me on this one, love.

- Why are you like this?

- Because I’m a man, honey.

- Eh… please, I want to plan our wedding.

- Okay, we'll do it your way... - he groaned.

- Do you want to argue or what? - she looked at him with a menacing face.

- No, this time I'll let you do everything, just don't give me a headache, okay? - he rolled his eyes.

- Ha ha ha… you’re so funny…

- Ah, yes, I know…

- Oh God, I think I'm about to throw up again!

- Again!? Well... If you do... Please use the toilet this time... Okay?

- You’re so mean!

- I know, but you have to agree that the bedroom is not the right place, right?

- Okay… - Marg headed for the bathroom.

- Let’s go. I’ll help you.

- You really don't have to…

- I know... but honestly it's better to help you than to let you throw up alone, isn't it? - he sighed.

Marg was silent about his words. She felt as if Colin was forcing himself to do that everything. She felt strange.

After some time, they returned to the bedroom.

- Can you lie down? - asked Colin.

- Why?

- Because you have a fever and it's better to rest a little at least, plus your stomach probably still hurts.

- Ah, right. And I’m so tired.

- Just relax, get some rest, I won't let anyone bother you now - he wrapped the blanket around her.

- It's midnight, you should also lie down.

- I don't feel like sleeping… - he turned away from her and looked out the window.

- It’s midnight, Colin! - she shouted at him.

Colin didn't even flinch and just looked out the window.

- What’s wrong with you? Tell me.

- Nothing - and he just stayed in the same position without moving.

- Colin?

Colin still didn’t move even though he heard her.

- Colin! Damn you! - she couldn't take it anymore.

- What?! - he turned towards her but without looked at her.

- Hug me and go to sleep, please.

- I don't want to sleep and I don't feel like hugging you, okay? - he groaned.

- What?! - Marg sat surprised on the bed.

- Please stop bothering me - he seemed annoyed, but still didn’t look at her.

Colin lay down on the bed and sighed loudly.

- Are you kidding me?!?!

- No... - he put his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling.

- Hug me, Zabel, now!

He rolled his eyes before hugging her. He did so with great effort.

- Your behavior...ugh...no comment....

He sighed and fell silent, still looking at the ceiling.

- Don't you love me? - Marg asked in a whisper.

- Of course I do, do you think I would be here if I didn't love you, stupid? - he sighed.

- Excuse me, did you just call me stupid?

- You heard me…

- Do you want me to kick you in the ass?

- I doubt that you could…

- You'd better run!

- Bring it on! - he laughed.

- Better prepare a pillow and ice cubes for your ass!

- I doubt your weak legs will be enough to hurt me.

- I'm going to slap you in the face. I warning you!

- Go ahead, you'll see I won't even flinch.

- Why are you so mean?

- You've been annoying me a bit lately, to be honest... - he looked at her and sighed.

- I’m pregnant, you idiot!

- So? That's not an excuse to be annoying all the time!

- I hate you!

- I'm sure you still love me - he laughed.

- I'm going to sleep on the couch in the living room!

- Go ahead, but if you dare to complain about your neck being sore in the morning, I'll be pissed.

- Fuck you, Zabel!

- Love you too - he chuckled a little bit.

- Give me my pillow!

Colin shrugged his shoulders and threw it at her.

- Really FUCK YOU! I’m going to call your mom tomorrow! I’ll tell her about your behaviour!

- Don't you dare call to my mom! - he got angry, turned to her and lay on top of her.

- I’m not scared of you! - she tried to get out from under him.

- I know, but I'm warning you, don't you dare to do that, do you understand me? - he looked into her eyes.

- I plan to tell her about our pregnancy!

- I'm not warning you again, don't you dare! - he groaned and pined her arms to her sides.

- So you don't want to tell her you're going to be a daddy?

- Of course I want, but I want to do it in my own way, got it?

- No!

Colins face turned into an expression of rage and he pined her hands even more.

- Don't you realize that you're putting me in a really shitty situation, right?

- You are not a baby! You are 37 years old!

- Do you really want my mom to learn about the baby from you and not from me... - he groaned in annoyance and then smiled.

- How about from us, together?

- Yes, but I want to do it, ok? I know this is my mother but it is very important to me that I am the one who tells her, do you understand?

- Why can’t we do that together?

Colin closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.

- Because you'll probably interrupt me and my mom will think it's all your idea instead of ours because that's what you always do, you're going to ruin my plans...

- I won't do it, I promise - she smiled at him.

- Ok, let's just make a promise then... You promise me that you'll stay quiet during the whole thing and you won't interrupt me?

- Yes!

Colin takes the promise very seriously and pined her hands down to the bed.

- Please don't break your promise, because I'll get really angry if you do...

- I promise.

- Ok good, now I trust you... - he smiled.

He loosened the grip he has on her hands and rolls over again and hugged her gently.

- Can I ask you one more thing first?

- What?

- Would you please let me sleep by your side?

- No!

Colin groaned and got back on top of her, again pinned her arms down so she can't move.

- Do you really want to push my limits, baby?

- I’m not scared of you!

He pressed his forehead against hers and stayed silent for a few seconds before he breaker this silence.

- Will you let me sleep next to you if I ask you kindly?

- You didn’t deserve to sleep with me tonight. Let me go!

- I know, but you can always make an exception... will you please let me?

- Hmm… well, then. I'll stay in bed, you go sleep on the couch.

- Can I ask you to do the opposite? Please?

- No! Let me go!

- Let me sleep next to you, goddamn it! - he groaned and got even angrier.

- Oh you’re so cute when you’re angry - she laughed.

Colin become even angrier at her comment.

- You think this is funny, don't you?

- Oh, yes!

- Please baby, I really want to sleep next to you... just one thing...

- What?

- Please give me one condition for letting me sleep with you...

- Hmm…

- I’m waiting…

- Hmm…

He seemed angry but then got an idea.

- You know the thing you promised me? To don't interrupt when I tell my mother about the baby? I want to make a deal with you...

- Fine, you can sleep with me.... but say "I’m sorry for my behavior, I love you"

Colin stayed silent for a few seconds before says it.

- I’m sorry for my behaviour and I love you.

- Okay then, you can stay.

He smiled and lay down by her side, then he pulled her towards his chest.

- Can I hug you too?

- Okay.

Colin hugged her tightly and closed his eyes, but after a few seconds he opens his eyes again.

- Can I ask you another favor?

- Yes.

- There’s something I need to tell you…

- Go on, Colin.

- Could you be patient with me? I really need to tell you something important and I'm a little nervous... - his voice sounded scared about something as he speak.

- I’m here for you - she kissed him on his cheek.

- Thank you... will you help me if I have trouble speaking? - he smiled a little bit.

- Of course, love. What is it about? - she was so curious.

He become even more nervous but looked at her directly in the eyes.

- Can I hold your hand while I say it?

- Yes.

He smiled and grabbed her hand and hold it tightly.

- Ok... I need to tell you something extremely important, can I trust you will listen to me without interrupting?

- Of course, love.

Colin took a deep breath and paused for a few seconds before he start to speak.

- Promise me that you'll listen to everything I have to say until I'm done, okay?

- Speak!

He looked back at her trying to get some courage.

- Just one last one thing... Can you please look me in the eye while I tell you this?

- I’m looking.

He seemed relieved and took a few deep breaths before speaking up.

- Okay, I’m ready… - he looked into her eyes and tried to maintain eye contact.

- I’m listening - she did not break eye contact.

Colin became even more nervous as he spoke, and his voice became shaky and even looked like he might cry as he prepared to tell her.

- I really love you…

- I love you too…

He smiled but still he seemed nervous, although he is almost done.

- That's not all... I really like staying with you, I love sleeping by your side... and this is the most important part...

- The fact that you love to sleep with me?

- That's not what I'm trying to say... will you let me finish? - he was so serious.

- Go on, I’m sorry.

He paused for a few seconds and tried to calm himself down again, but then he continued.

- What I really want to say is that... I want to spend the rest of my life with you...

- Oh my God, Colin… - she was about to cry.

He became very emotional and had tears in his eyes as he looked at her, wanting her to say "yes”.

- Will you marry me, baby?

- Oh my God!! Colin! I will! Yes, I will! - Marg started to cry and laugh at the same time.

He seemed excited and relieved to hear this, after a few seconds he spoke again with a smile on his face and light tears in his eyes.

- Can I ask you another question?

- Yes!

- Can I kiss you? You look so gorgeous when you’re emotional - he smiled at her.

- You don’t even have to ask!

He leaned in and kissed her, but after a few seconds he pulled away.

- I guess you need a tissue.

- Yes! Give me a tissue.

He handed her a tissue and started laughing through his tears.

- Don't cry, it's a happy moment…

- Those are tears of happiness, you idiot!

- Oh, yes, I’m an idiot. I admit that - he hugged her tightly and kissed.

————————————

Part two

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #evan peters funny #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #colin zabel #mare of easttown #drama #pregnant #argument #i’m crying #mr march funfic #james march

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roach-works · 2 years

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heyo! i just read your reblogs on that post about cis/trans ppl who ship m/m content and was struck by a lot of what you said. up until recently, i have "lived very fully and enthusiastically as a woman," though i've always envied/admired men in fiction and have always gravitated towards exploring men's stories in my work. i am starting to think this is bc i Am A Man but i'm struggling with relating to/understanding my past self, who seemed perfectly fine with being a woman (1/2)

okay, here's my very best piece of advice to cis, trans, or questioning people: you aren't, necessarily, who you were.

do you know the sunk cost fallacy? when you sink a lot of time, money, or ego into something, you get very reluctant to abandon that thing. people stake their reputation on a scam, then can't back down because it would mean admitting they were wrong. people blow their life savings at casinos, because they think that the next bet will validate all their past ones and save them. people with abusive partners want to believe that all the love they spent wasn't in vain.

for all these reasons, examining and potentially discarding fundamental pieces of your identity is very difficult. you put a lot of time into being this one gender. you staked your ego and reputation on it. you had some good times! it felt really worthwhile! but now you're starting to wonder if it is worth it, if it was ever worth it. if you were wrong, if you're stupid, if everyone's going to laugh at you, if there will be anything left if you throw all this time and life and selfhood in the trash.

full disclosure, i was proud to be a woman and i flatly did not want to be a trans man. i knew it would be hard, and i knew the risks were high, and i knew i'd have to eat a lot of shit as everyone in my life said 'wait, but you're a man-hating feminist. how do you square that?' and i would have to say, 'well, i can't square it. some things don't get solved like math problems.' i would have been a cis man in an instant but i was scared to death of having to do all the hard uncomfortable work of transitioning and still potentially just being stuck with this sort of shitty, unpleasant, messed up, mad-science approximation of a male body. i knew it just was not physically possible to turn myself into the man i would have been had i been AMAB, and the idea of settling for a crude facsimile sounded absolutely pathetic.

but like, the other thing about me, is that i have been chronically anxious since i was a little kid, and what i learned from being scared of absolutely everything was that i couldn't let fear stop me or i would live my life underneath a blanket, pissing myself. so by the time i had to face up to the horror and terror of potentially being trans, i had gotten into the habit of simply doing terrifying things anyway, because being terrified wasn't a valid excuse not to at least try it out.

here's the other thing about me! i've got an extreme case of ADHD brainworms and every five or ten years i go do Something Else. i love moving. i love turning into something new.

so what i found was that i absolutely love being consciously engaged in the business of being myself. i like taking hormones that change my body. i like taking medication that changes my mind. i love having my hands on the levers of who i am in this life and cranking them around to see what happens next. i am myself on purpose and it's absolutely exhilarating. i wouldn't trade it for being normal if you paid me.

and so here's the thing about everyone: you can change as soon as you want. right now! immediately!

your past self is just a record of who you were, it's not a prophecy. and before anyone says 'well it's not that easy, change is hard, it takes work and time!', i agree with that too! but that's because changing into something new requires effort for the same reason that moving anything takes effort: it's just inertia. objects at rest stay at rest unless changed. objects in motion continue on that path unless changed.

you will be the same person every day you don't deliberately try something new, and then, there you go, you're changing. i have picked up rocks that were a hundred million years old and thrown them into a pond; nothing about the stillness of the rock was forever or even important. i don't know how many other ways to phrase this but it's very important to me to try to communicate it to as many people as i can.

you can just stop doing something you don't like doing. you can just try something new immediately. you don't need an excuse. you don't need to justify the way you spend your time, the way you've spent it. you can love and cherish your womanhood for twenty seven years and then say 'i think i'm done with this now' and go try something else.

maybe you'll like being a man and find that it suits you much better than being a woman. maybe you won't! either way, you'll have changed, and you can just keep changing for as long as you live, and isn't that so much better than being frozen up with fear?

#i love changing!!! i love being new things #to be trans is to travel and move and recreate yourself #it's extremely fucking cool!! it really is!#trans stuff #advice #long post

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razor-tits · 5 months

Text

A very long and over due life update.

So, to start this off I guess I need to back up. Let's start in October. It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. Things were...ok I'd say. Boring, routine, the only shake up was my hormones ran out and my job was changing our insurance, so I had to cancel my follow up appointment for bloodwork and a refill. But then I got some bad news from my parents.

My dad had a heart attack and was in the hospital. He was ok, but he needed surgery. First they thought just a stent, but then decided he needed a triple bypass. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, but we're kind of distant. I live a few hours away and only see them around the holidays but we talk on the phone weekly. My dad can lean a little on the conservative side but both of them are the absolute salt of the earth. They're done so much to help me and I felt powerless to be able to help. I couldn't leave work and felt like there was nothing I could do.

The next couple weeks were rough, my dad was staying in the hospital, my mom was going back and forth staying with him and taking care of my grandma, who is in her late 80's and has a litany of health issues. On a Friday I finally managed to make the drive home and spend the weekend there. Seeing my dad laid up in a hospital gown tied to machines is something i'll never forget. He could get up and move and acted like he was ok. But he's one of those guys you meet and you think he's invincible. The kind of guy that put a new roof on our house with a broken finger and can't turn away a stray animal at the door. Some family members I hadn't seen in a long time came and went over the weekend. Thoughts of our own mortality set in and I realize this could be the last time I see any of them.

I've lost people before. Some of them suddenly and unexpectedly. Others who's death was almost a sigh of relief after fighting for so long. I never got to say goodbye when my friend died and I hope he knows how much he meant to me. I don't want to feel that again, ever.

The day of surgery came. He was in the OR for 3 hours but it felt like an eternity and a second at the same time. A few hours after that my mom and I were able to see him. He was extubated already, which was a good sign. But he was on heavy medication, incoherent, coming in and out of sleep. But he knew I was there and that's all that mattered.

I had to leave and make my way back to my parents to get my dog, and then make the 2 hour drive back to Ohio and go back to work in the morning. At this point I knew my dad would be ok, he just had to get through recovery. But now thoughts of my own health were worrying me. I'm not in the best shape, I don't exercise or work out. I've already had surgery to fix stomach problems. Everyone on my dad's side has heart problems, and everyone on my mom's side has cancer and diabetes. There's not much I do to prevent any of that. I'm in my 30's and I feel it, maybe more than I should.

Over the next couple months my mental health continues to fall. I had a birthday and spent it sick, as I always seem to do. It's always a rough time of year for me. Seasonal depression kicks in, I get older, and another year passes. My dog, my best friend, the reason I kept myself alive, is getting old. I see it more and more every day and it breaks my heart.

The holidays came and went. I saw my grandma for the first time in a few years. Always wondering if it will be the last. Despite that, this year I never felt less in the holiday spirit. I used to love this time of year, now I desperately try to enjoy it, but part of me just wants it to be over. The best part seems to be a few days off work.

At this point it should be noted I have not restarted hormones. My identity has always been more in flux than i've let on, and maybe that needs to be it's own post, but I don't know if I want to start again or not. I don't know what I want, I don't know what my goals are. I don't know who i am. Beyond basic hygiene, I really don't even feel like taking care of myself most days. I pretty much always feel melancholic. I'm not angry, I don't get excited, I don't have much joy. My sex drive is non existent and I have no desire to do...well, anything.

New year's comes and I honestly couldn't care. It feels like another day. My gf and I go out and have an Ok time. I'm just so tired all the time it's hard for me to go out and enjoy myself like I used to.

And then, a couple days ago my landlord calls. We have to move out. Not sure when, but probably soon. I'm heartbroken and panicking over it. We absolutely love our house. We've only been here about a year and a half but it's been wonderful. It has plenty of room, privacy, it's quiet. We can leave our doors unlocked and packages aren't stolen off our porch. We're allowed both of our dogs and all 3 of our cats with no issues. We've invested so much time and money here. My gf is close with the owners and their children, who were the previous tenants. We even thought about trying to buy this house off of them when their other kid moves out of the downstairs apartment. And it's affordable. Anything else like what we have now will cost double and we can't afford that.

Our last apartment was tiny, cramped, dark and ran by an awful property investment company. And now we have to deal with that again. If we can even find a place where we can take 5 animals. We can hide 2 of the cats, but not all of them. We're in no position to buy nor do we have the time to go through the process. My gf said we may have to find 2 different apartments and live separately for a while. Just the thought of that brings me to tears. I can't live without her, I can't live without our pets. We're a family. I don't know what to do.

Since I got the phone call I've done nothing but panic, contact rental agencies and weigh my options. None of them are good. Best case scenario is we move in a smaller, worse place, paying more rent.

Nothing is going right for me. I know this isn't insurmountable and nothing that people haven't gone through before. But...god damn I need a break and I can't get one.

#i just needed to vent #dont reblog

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genderqueerdykes · 2 years

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Hey I was just wondering as a person with hyperandrogenism, could you elaborate more about people who take T to help with it? I want to transition at some point and I've been looking everywhere for information on what going on T would be like for somebody with PCOS.

*CLAPS* you came to the right blog and i'm SO GLAD I CAN HELP SOMEONE ELSE WITH THIS!!!!!

i was diagnosed with hyperandrogenism and PCOS at the age of 15 because i was having such heavy menstrual periods that i literally had to stay home from school because i had to change my pad every 45 minutes or so. they forced me on to hormonal birth control instead of presenting me with the option of testosterone hormone replacement therapy and to this day, i am angry at those doctors for not realizing they could've given me the choice, because they could've spared me from a lot of misery in my teen years.

i had been naturally growing a full beard with no outside help since i started puberty, and it was a nightmare for everyone BUT me because everyone else found it threatening. my mother made me put Nair on my face (that chemical stuff you use to burn the hair off your legs- no, you're not supposed to put it on your face and they did Not make the kind for your face back then.) to get rid of it because it freaked her out so bad, quote, "everyone will make fun of you and you'll get called a dyke and butch and a lezzie and a man and it'll be embarrassing, and then they'll think I'm all of those things, too." Mental gymnastics olympic gold winner, My Mom, everyone.

i wanted to just keep my facial hair, but my mother was obsessed with keeping me a Presentable Girl while everyone else in my school, once they saw the beard, went. oh, it's a guy. and interpreted me in the polar opposite direction. they started relentlessly telling me things like "you're not a girl" "you can't be a girl" "it doesn't matter if you carry a purse or wear makeup you're not a real girl" because they saw my life from the outside and were now under the impression that i was "a guy trying to be a girl," while my mom was trying to prevent me from being "a girl who everyone thinks is a guy".

needless to say, this caused a lot of frustration and confusion in me, because i just wanted to go with what my body was doing, and i found that i was naturally very masculine and butch and let me tell you, starting testosterone was incredible. it was like i picked up from where puberty left off! i finally felt myself evolving into who i was meant to be, i swear, because it felt like i was a half complete person until i started taking T.

my voice dropped very quickly, i was getting voice cracks and croaky tones very early on, within the first 3 months or so. my facial hair took a while for it to stop being patchy, while i was growing a full beard, my mustache was very thin, and there was some hair that didn't grow in small patches, probably due to the years of aggressive chemicals damaging my face. i started growing very thick, bushy, noticeable chest hair very quickly as well, as well as thickened and darkened arm, back and belly hair.

i was a greaseball for a while and that was somewhat unpleasant- i think for about a month after i started i was extremely greasy, i noticed this because i had already been working out at the gym beforehand and i was suddenly. very. sweaty and slimy all of a sudden. honestly it gave me euphoria when i realized it though because i went "oh my god... the T is working!!!" it's the little things that give you Masculine Joy

my face got very sharp and angular very quickly, my cheekbones became way more noticeable and my jaw became a lot more streamline and sharp. i used to have a somewhat round face but now i have barely any fat on my face at all. after a long time on T, my mustache finally grows in fully! though it's still kinda hard to see, but it finally isn't just in the corners of my lips <3

i did have a period of a few months in the beginning where i was very emotional, i wouldn't say i was simply JUST angry. i was more passionate than normal, and it was easy for me to laugh or cry really hard, or sometimes be more irritable than normal due to being more sensitive in general.

Bottom growth happened very quickly and intensely, ive been told by several transmasc partners that i'm one of the biggest they've been with, so i would say you're likely to get fairly substantial bottom growth if you have PCOS or hyperandrogenism. =) it seems that area really takes to the extra testosterone and goes nuts with it! be warned, it will be extremely extremely sensitive to touch while bottom growth is occurring, like even seams in your pants can be uncomfortable, so go easy on yourself. i have never dealt with vaginal dryness or atrophy, btw, so i can't comment on anything like that.

hope that gave you a picture of what it was like for me, personally =) every person w/ PCOS and hyperandrogenism is different, but i'm really glad i could help provide a resource that is difficult to find! for many of us, those of us who have naturally high testosterone love and WANT what it does to our body, and we should be able to get to control how much T goes on in our body- that includes getting the option to increase it.

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beesinspades · 3 months

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I'm 3 months and 2 weeks on T now and I'm sooooo happy with it :D the first two months and then some were SLOW, so much so if it wasn't for one thing and the (temporary) side effects of the hormonal mess, I would've thought it wasn't working lol

but over the past month I've started really seeing changes!!

my voice started dropping, I can hear a difference with my voice pre-t!

I'm already growing facial hair on my neck and chin. at this rate I'll hopefully be one of the lucky ones with something decent before the end of my first year on T hehe

my belly is getting hairier

I think my face shape has started to change but that's harder to tell

so yeah I'm really happy because so far I'm getting nice changes and I haven't been plagued with being hungry, hot and horny. no mood changes either or anything. I don't feel any different from before T besides feeling more confident in my appearance. and I still have some palpitations when I lie down to go to bed in the evening and still in bed in the morning but I saw a cardiologist with echography and EKG and I'm good so it's likely the hormones. it was much worse before my third shot when we increased the dose.

also I don't know if it's related but before T I would get really nauseous (at the base of the neck rather than the stomach, idk how to explain it) at least once every three weeks or so, most of the time when I woke up in the morning and then it went away once I got up and went about my day. a week or so after I started T it got worse as in it started happening more frequently, at night too, and sometimes lasted throughout the day. then towards the end of the sixth week, before my third shot, it got so bad for like five days I thought I was gonna die hahaha but same as the palpitations improving, we did the third shot at full dose instead of half and the nausea disappeared. I haven't had a single instance of it since. so?¿?¿??? (both these things were already there before but probably made worse by a medication I started taking a little after going on T though. I stopped taking it as well)

I'm a liiittle anxious because "oh my god what if I'm doing a mistake" but I'm really looking forward to the next few months!!!

anyways, I did two shots by myself so far, the first one went perfectly well and the second one I felt like passing out but it was likely because I did it in the morning right out of my hot shower sjdkln I lied down for 20 minutes and then felt fine again.

also I got the results of my check-up blood test yesterday and my T levels have very nicely increased (I'm at like 55) and everything else is normal :3

but also WELP because besides my sister my family doesn't know. my mother hasn't called me in a month so odds that she'll notice something next time she calls me are not nonexistent and it's Not going to go well and I'm wholly unprepared for that conversation

next week I'm having lunch with my godmother whom I last saw on the day I started T, so that should be interesting too....she's always been supportive and nonjudgmental (to my face at least hahaha) but also given that she believes in the woke agenda I have no idea if HRT is going too far for her. wait and see :')

as for my dad, I'm frankly starting to wonder if he's just pretending not to have noticed anything. the voice I can get because he talks to me everyday so without a direct comparison it's not impossible that he hasn't noticed. but the facial hair??? I have way more than before and it's surprising he hasn't commented on it. anyway. either way the moment my mother knows he's probably gonna be made aware too.

anyway. excitement but also Fear

#beelio talks #also got a 24h EKG planned this month to be 100% sure but the cardiologist wasn't concerned at all #whoops this got long sorry

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kiankiwi · 1 year

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Your “the big day” fic is honestly so good and comforting. I was wondering if I could request something similar but this time with Austin? You could change some stuff but could it revolve around the birth of his first child and hi, being very supportive etc?:)

Of course! I’ve been wanting to write one for Austin for so long! I hope you like it! thank you for the kind words btw

As soon as you woke up this morning, not feeling Austin's body beside you, you were nervous. Nothing was wrong except Austin was at work while you were waiting to go into labor. You decided to get up and start your day as normal and wait for Austin to check on you. Yeah you felt weird but you didn't want to worry Austin if this wasn't the real thing anyway so you decided to shake it off and wait it out, paying attention to all the wiggles and kicks from your baby girl.

Austin checked on you and your baby, two hours later. "Hi m'love. How are my girls?" You smiled, showing your belly off on facetime. You were just dressed in a sports bra and a pair of Austin's sweatpants so your full term belly is on full display. "We're good..." You hesitated saying any more.

Austin got serious, noticing something was up. "What's up, are you okay?" You nodded, rubbing your hand down your side. "I'm okay right now. I woke up feeling a bit weird and I've had some cramping but I didn't want to scare you." Austin scrunched his brows together in concern. "Weird how, babe?" You shrugged, rubbing your belly feeling majorly uncomfortable.

Austin put his hands out on the table, pulling at them to relax himself. "Relax babe. What's going on?" You shook out your hands, clearly working yourself up as your husband sat with you over facetime. "I don't know I just feel like this is gonna happen super soon and you're not here and I--"

Austin cut you off. "Baby, baby, take a second. Slow down and take a deep breath for me okay. I'll do it with you okay?" You two stopped and Austin guided you through two sets of deep breaths, "In... out.. there you go. I know you haven't had any big pains yet but would you feel better if I came home so you know I'm there?" You wiped your tears and nodded, trying hard not to sob over such a small thing as your husband coming home from work early just to make you more comfortable but you just couldn't help it.

"Cry if you need to love, I'll be home in fifteen minutes okay? I'm not far away at all." You nodded, not trying to squash down your hormonal emotions anymore. "You want to stay on the phone with me until I pull in?" You nodded without really thinking about it, squeaking out a pitiful, "Yeah..." Austin chuckled. "Honey, I'm still right here. You can give me a hug in a second." You got up for a minute pacing around the room, trying to get your anxiety out of your limbs as the cramping twisted around in your lower belly. Austin clicked his tongue to get your attention. He kept his phone on his face as he walked to your car. "YN, where's your hospital bag at?" You took a deep breath, swaying your hips. "Why? It's not time yet."

Austin started jogging to his car. He really wanted to get you in his arms, make sure you were really okay. "'Cause baby, I just want to know where it is in case this does happen soon. I think your body is trying to tell you something okay?" You nodded, leaning your upper body on the counter so you could sway your hips better. "It's sitting by the front door Aus." He nodded and realized you were adjusting your stance as he put his phone in his lap still on facetime and started his car. "What's happening babe, talk to me!"

"My hips just hurt and I'm cramping." You groaned. "Please get here so you can rub my back!" Austin nodded. "Will do bubs. We're just gonna take it real easy tonight, you hear me? In case bubs sends you into labor soon. I can even order us some food." You nodded. "Even that sandwich place?" You had wanted a sandwich from this new little cafe that popped up in your neighborhood a couple months ago. "Anything you want."

As soon as you heard Austin's car pull into the driveway, you started crying as you leaned against the counter and scared Austin when he walked in and saw you.

"What's wrong baby? Do you hurt?" You shook your head as Austin helped you stand up and hug him. "No, I'm just happy you're home." He nodded, kissing your head and rubbing your sore back. "I'm here now, what do you want to do? Do you want a bath, watch a show?"

You snuggled into Austin's shoulder, inhaling his familiar comforting scent. "Just hold me?"

"Hold you? That I can do."

___

Over the course of the night, you two settled in for a night that very realistically might be the last night that's just the two of you. You two settled in to watch the Harry Potter films and you were nervous that if you ate, you'd throw it right back up so you were just eating some fruit to keep your energy up and Austin offered you an orange popsicle before bed, your favorite flavor of popsicle. You snuggled into Austin as you two started Harry Potter movie #4 and Austin had his arm wrapped around you, rubbing your belly lovingly.

You awoke to Austin gently shaking your shoulder and standing over you. "What's going on?" Austin grabbed your hand, preparing to help you stand. "I'm sorry to wake you, I just thought you'd be comfortable in our bed. I'm coming up there too and I can't carry you." You pouted at your husband. Sad that you couldn't be carried to your bed and that you had been woken up in general.

Austin pulled the comforter around him. "Hit me if anything happens and you need me okay?" You smiled and nodded. "I'm okay for now. I just need my husband's cuddles." You said, turning your light out. "Then c'mere you."

____

You woke up around three am with a sharp pain in your lower belly. A contraction. Finally you thought, this baby is coming. You groaned as you attempted to sit up. You know Austin told you to wake him up but you needed to make sure this was real labor. "Alright, my love, work with me here, mama and daddy want to meet you." You decided to get a snack while you were still allowed to eat and track your contractions to see if they were consistent.

You ended up tracking your contractions for the next hour and a half before deciding: Holy shit this really hurts and I need Austin. You trudged yourself back to the bedroom. "Austin... sweet boy. Wake up." He woke up with a start. "I'm up, I'm up! Are you okay?" You chuckled, gripping Austin's hand. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. You're about to be a daddy though." Austin's eyes went wide. "W-what? OH!" He rolled out of bed and quickly dressed himself. "A-are you okay? Did your water break?"

You shook your head, trying to adjust to a more comfortable position in the bed. "No, but we need to go, they're getting pretty bad." Hearing that, Austin rushed around getting everything ready to go. He honestly looked like a chicken with its head cut off. He got you in the car and right before he pulled off to head to the hospital, he gripped your hand, getting your attention, "You, mama, are gonna do amazing." You smiled, leaning into peck his lips. You only pulled apart when you felt a particularly strong contraction. "Woooah, okay, I love you too but we really need to go." Austin nodded. "Yes ma'am."

Upon arriving to the hospital, they assessed you and noticed you were only about four centimeters dilated. So you were good to labor freely for a while. "What can I do to help?" "Just sway with me? It helps my hips." Austin nodded, "C'mere." You latched onto Austin, holding on tight while you two glided around the hospital room in a bit of a slow dance while you two waited on another contraction.

Austin could tell you were having one because you bit into his shirt and squeezed your arms tighter around his neck, letting out another groan of pain. "Aus, my hips." Austin pushed your hips inward and the pressure helped immensely. "Don't stop!" You groaned out as you spread your legs a bit trying to adjust to help the pain.

Once the contraction was over you pulled back and studied Austin's face. "I-I can't believe we're about to be parents." He nodded. "I can't wait to see you be a mom. I can't wait to spoil her!" You gave Austin a look. "Just because you're this big A-list actor doesn't mean you need to spoil her Aus."

"Uh, yes it does. C'mon you know she's already wrapped around my finger." You giggled as you felt Austin caress your belly. "It's a matter of hours, mama." You groaned, "Don't remind me, I have to push her out." Austin chuckled and kissed your forehead. "You're gonna do so good. And I'll be right here with you. And I won't let anything happen to you love." You nodded, taking a deep breath, preparing yourself for the next contraction.

*Five hours later*

You were deep in it now, too progressed to be sent home but still just waiting. Austin was distracting you the best he could by telling you funny stories from his time on film sets but you just needed silence. "Aus, please, I love you but please shush." Austin nodded and rubbed his hand up and down your back dutifully as you rocked back and forth on all fours in the bed. You rode out the contraction, leaning your head down and pressing it in the mattress as you groaned. "Oooooooh! Ooooooow. Okay, I'm okay." You panted, attempting to take your shirt off. It was way too hot in here for you to care about being modest.

"Austin, I need... get it off!" you pulled at your shirt but were still too weak from the powerful contraction to fully take your shirt off. "I got it. I gotchu." Austin carefully and gently took your shirt off, careful of the monitors and tossed it aside so you were fully naked on the bed, except for the contraction monitor attached to round, heavy belly. "Is that better?" Austin asked. You nodded. "I didn't mean to be mean, I love you.. I just.." Austin nodded. "You have a free pass to say whatever you need to to me to get through this okay? I can only imagine what you're going through. You're so strong." You nodded. "Do you need anything?" You nodded, still feeling a bit too hot. "Ice chips please." He nodded and hurried to complete his new task.

*Fourteen hours later*

You were getting weepy and clingy at this point. "Pl-please don't leave me.. I can't... Fuck!" Austin shushed you, holding you tight as you held onto him. "Baby, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere okay? I'm staying right here. You can do this, I'm watching you and I won't let anything happen to you okay."

"B-but it hurts so bad." You wept. "I know sweetheart, do you want me to call someone to give you some pain relief?" shook your head violently. "No, no needles, just you." Austin nodded, kissing your hair. "I'll do my best."

"I-I need... I need.." The pain was starting to overwhelm you, your brain felt foggy. "What baby? How can I help?" Austin asked, ready to get you whatever you wanted. You could only get one word out. "Bathroom." You instinctively needed to be somewhere smaller, this room was too open and you didn't feel safe.

You got sat on the toilet, now in a smaller space and widened your legs a bit more. "Better?" The nurse asked as she situated herself between your legs, getting ready while Austin sat off to the side still holding your hand and watching you.

"I feel pressure." You warned the nurse. "That's normal. You're about ready to have this baby." Austin wanted to cry, you were about to meet your daughter. "I'm really doing this." You said, shocked that you were able to put together a full sentence through the pain. "You are mama, if you start to feel like you need to push, go right ahead alright, we're not going anywhere."

With your eyes still closed, you started to panic a bit, "Austin!" Austin squeezed your hand. "I'm still here babe. You're so close. We're gonna meet her so soon." Those words gave you the courage to give a small push. Austin smiled as he saw you bare down, grunting softly. "Don't hold back, keep going, she needs you." The nurse instructed in front of you.

Austin had an idea, he rose up on his knees and put his hand on the back of your neck, guiding your head to his shoulder so you could hide and hold onto him while you pushed. This way he could speak only to you too. "There you go, Y/N. You're doing so good. I'm so proud of you honey." His words just continued to spur you on, making you braver as you kept pushing.

It wasn't long until you felt what you knew people referred to as the ring of fire. You screamed, accidentally biting into Austin's shoulder. "I know it hurts so bad mama, but I don't want you to push. I want you to breathe through this next contraction and I'll tell you when you can push again, okay?"

"PLEASE!" You begged, your head still buried in Austin's tshirt. "Please let me push!" Austin's lips were at your ear. "Take deep breaths baby, just breathe. You're almost there. Big deep breaths okay." You took deep breaths until you felt some of the pressure release from below. "Head is delivered." The nurse said. Austin gasped. "What, what?" You worried, too scared to look between your legs. Austin grabbed your hand and placed it on the crown of your baby's head. "That's her, Y/N and she's so beautiful." You could hear tears in Austin's voice now.

"Big push again, Y/N, you're nearly there." You grabbed onto Austin and pushed as hard as you could, just wanting this to be over so you could hold your daughter.

Next thing you knew all the pain was gone and the nurse was placing your screaming daughter on your chest. "Oh my-- Holy shit! I did it!" You cheered, holding your daughter close.

You were holding Ava as you were now adjusting to laying back in bed. "You just did that, mama! Hi sweetheart, hi! I'm your daddy." Austin said, reaching his hand out for your daughter to grip onto. "You're so small." "Compared to you, you're a giant!" You said, smiling at Austin. "Hey! I just got long limbs." Austin defended.

***

It's done! I had to scrap this twice but I finally enjoy it! Thank you to @mooodyblue for helping me with this request I appreciate you!

I hope you liked it!

#dad!austin #labor and delivery #childbirth fic #labor and delivery fic #dad!aus #kiwiswriting

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beatrixstonehill2 · 6 months

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Dana happily bounced her huge breasts, eager to address her many fans. "Thank you all for tagging me in the Detrans Challenge. I had so much fun these past few months! In more ways than one..... I was so happy when I got tagged because I'm totally perfect for it. I started blockers in the seventh grade and started hormones the summer before high school. I'm nineteen and I've been living as a girl almost ten years! As you can see the hormones had an amazing effect on me, but as I often complain in my vids, my cock is very tiny and I only cum like..... a drop when I orgasm. And on top of that, like a lot of trans girls starting college, I was beginning to fatten up. The huge boobs don't help!

Soooo, when I got tagged I was intrigued to say the least. Six months, no hormones or blockers. Let my natural puberty start. Guys, look at this thing!" Dana reached into her jeans and pulled out a thick, swollen, clearly overly masturbated cock. Almost a foot long. She flaunted her testicles, bragging, "My guys, they're the size of eggs! I cum like a damn fire hydrant. Well, not that much, buuuut you get the picture. I've never felt more energetic. All that estrogen was bogging me down, making me all fat and lazy.... Now I want to go out, and--ahem, use this newfound manhood of mine on some unsuspecting pregnant girls around campus.

Shame I have these mammoth tits in the way. Ugh, I can't believe I ever liked having these giant fat bags hanging off my chest! I wanna get top surgery soooo bad. Having these giant things makes me soooo dysphoric now, I look ridiculous! And yes, my voice has deepened a lot already, and I'm wearing heavy makeup, I've pretty much gotta unless I want people to see my beard and upper lip hair. I can shave all I want but that shadow is not going anywhere! I have hair all down my belly and it's growing on my boobs. It comes in so thick, so fast, it's hard to keep up with. So maybe I should stop and just embrace my wonderful new male puberty? Hm?

As you all can probably tell, the answer to my challenge, like most trans girls who get picked, is a resounding 'no-duh', of course I'm staying off estrogen. Totally done playing pretend as this ditzy curvy blonde with huge udders.... I'm actually gonna go on T and start taking supplements, bulk up, get super fit. In a few months nobody will ever know I lived as a girl. It'll be our naughty little secret, won't that be fun? I can't wait to become the alpha stud I'm meant to be, and fuck all the pregnant sorority sluts like the mindless cattle they are! Wish me luck....❤️"

#detrans kink #mtf detrans kink #mtftm kink #fakegirl

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sharpth1ng · 7 months

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(WARNING cause I mention body dysphoria?). Hi, I'm a Trans man (AFAB) and I hope this question doesn't make you uncomfortable or insults you, I'm just always struggling and wondering if how I feel is wrong... I read Debaser both the trans and the cis version. I haven't had surgery yet and thought the trans version would make me more comfortable but somehow it triggered my body dysphoria more? :( I know not every trans person has body dysphoria but moments like these I always wonder "am I faking it?? Am I really trans??" and it makes me feel bad for prefering the cis version since that's how I want to be...? Idk :( halp. If you don't feel comfortable with my ask please feel free to ignore it 🫶

Hey, so I just want to say there's nothing wrong with preferring the cis version. I started writing Debaser as the cis version because I was extremely dysphoric at the time and I kept writing that version in case I became dysphoric again. Sometimes I only want to read content with trans people, but sometimes I can't, and I think for me that comes from the fact that I experience two types of dysphoria.

The first type mostly comes from the fact that our bodies are represented in unnecessarily binary, gendered ways, and from the fact that society devalues bodies that aren't cis, white, thin, or abled. This can make me feel like other people still see me as a woman because of my body parts, or that they see me as a broken or lesser man. The solution to this, at least for me, has been to consume and make art that depicts trans bodies like mine having a good time and being treated like desirable people in ways that align with their gender, regardless of what body parts they have.

Before I had top surgery this helped me a lot. I could look at trans men with tits who I saw as attractive men, and it helped me look at my own body and not immediately think "womanwomanwoman" because of my chest.

There's still the other type of dysphoria though and this one is harder to deal with (at least for me). This one has nothing to do with how people treat me or how I am seen, and everything to do with the fact that some of my body parts feel wrong or feel missing. It was helpful to deal with the social stigma of having tits, and to learn to process my chest as something that was male too, but it didn't take away the wrong feeling of having them. I could have lived the rest of my life in a box, unseen by anyone, and I still would have wanted top surgery. I didn't get it to be seen as more male by others, I got it so that I could feel like myself in my own body.

Not everyone is going to experience both of these (or either of them) and there are probably people who experience this in an entirely different way. But for me these things are the difference between feeling like explicit trans media is affirming or not. If you are experiencing the social stigma kind of dysphoria, then it might be helpful. Writing trans debaser was good for me in this way because I haven't seen a lot of trans men depicted the way I've depicted Billy, especially in fan-fiction and in smut, and that helped me to change the way I see myself a bit as well.

But I still experience the other kind of dysphoria too, and I've had top surgery, I've been on hormones, but I'm not planning on having bottom surgery, and that's hard. This has nothing to do with the way my body is seen by others and everything to do with the body part it feels like i'm missing. And again, I could live the rest of my life in a box and never fuck again but I would still have bottom dysphoria at times.

Normalizing my body and valuing other trans bodies helps, but only to a point. I look at trans men with surgery, with no surgery, with hormones or no hormones and I feel absolutely feral because I'm gay and those are hot men. Their bodies are hot male bodies regardless of what parts they have. That can help me understand that other people can still look at me and see a desirable man regardless of parts but it doesn't change the internal experience I have with my own body when I'm feeling this kind of dysphoria.

When feeling this way I don't necessarily want to consume or create explicit stuff with transmasc bodies, even when it is written in a way I would find affirming in another mood. Sometimes I just need to read about people with the bodies I felt like I was supposed to have and forget my own body for a little while.

The reality is that dysphoria is different for everyone and at least for me it fluctuates. Things that trigger it at one time may not trigger it at another. It's ok to not want to read explicit trans content, and it's ok to prefer content with cis folks right now. You need to take care of yourself and listen to your brain, and if its not safe for your brain to read this kind of content then avoid it as long as you need to. If and when you do feel safe, I suggest trying out some content with trans folks (whether or not thats my content), because it really does help to break down that social stigma dysphoria, but it's also ok if it never feels safe to do that.

And in terms of the worry that you're faking it or not really trans I just want to say thats a really simple question to answer and you're the only one who can answer it. Do you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth? If not, then you can identify as trans. You might even still identify with parts of it and that’s ok too (shout out to the trans masc lesbians and the femme trans men who still feel an attachment to womanhood) Your gender is allowed to change as many times as it needs to, and the way you feel about your body is allowed to change too.

Anyways this has been really long, but yeah. Its ok if trans Debaser didn't feel affirming to you, it means nothing about your gender identity. I do try to have as many disclaimers on that version as possible, I want people to be able to make informed choices to keep themselves safe, and that's because I recognize that no one depiction is going to feel affirming to every transmasc, and that's ok.

I hope you're doing alright, there's nothing wrong with the way you feel 🖤

#tw dysphoria #body dysphoria #transition #surgery mention #debaser fanfic #ask

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genderstarbucks · 3 months

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I'm curios on your thoughts on agab terms. If you're comfortable talking about it.

The way I see it used, in general, seems really exclusionary of intersex, trans, nonbinary, gnc, and anyone who doesn't fit into rigid binary ideals of male and female. (So cis people are excluded under this too, like say a cis woman with prominent body hair or a cis man who's short, for simplest examples.)

It's always about, like, agab bodies, agab genitals, agab hormones, agab organs, agab socialisation, agab chromasomes. And it just doesn't work. Like even considering agab in a more literal sense, like intersex people being assigned a sex without their say, that can only go so far. With current technology it's impossible to assign internal organs, chromosomes, and even with surgery and hrt, that still doesn't change the experience of being different, of getting such changes rather than always having them. But agab just groups everyone under the same category, and erases those differences.

And for trans people, I think it leads and perpetuates a lot of incorrect information as well, some of which gets into the territory of sexism too. Like the idea of agab bodies, when applied to trans people, it just makes a lot of assumptions about what genitals they have, what organs they have, what hormones they have, etc. which just isn't true. And for those who don't medically transition, which is fine, lumping them into the same category are cis people really erases their trans identity. Like for example, a non medically transitioning trans man isn't just exactly as a cis woman, or a non medically transitioning trans woman isn't just the same as a cis man. I feel like it's really erasing something there, and under agab they're just treated as the same.

And I feel like I see it used to be really weird about biology too, like "oh it's important for your doctor to know your agab!" For the most unrelated things. Like a flu is a flu, fixing that illness isn't about chromosomes, or agab, or whatever, but it's treated as if it is. I wonder if people who say things like that know what trans broken arm syndrome is, how trans people can have completely unrelated issues blamed and refused to treat because of them being trans. Of course, even for things where "sex matters", intersex people mess up that system. Or even just perisex people with some mild difference. Like women can be autistic do, but people think of it as a "biological sex" thing, and so say only men can be autistic. But that's just not the case right. Agab terms just remind me of that. Another pointless oh but sex matters thing. Except maybe worse, since I feel like people have started accepting sex can be changed (think trans surgeries), so they just replaced it with agab, which is forever assigned and can't be changed.

There is more to be said about it, how it just weirdly separates men and women as different species, and drags trans people into it with the whole forever assigned thing, but I've already typed too much haha /lh

So I mean I guess it's obvious I don't really like agab terms, but then I see people like you (or I guess actually you're the only one I've seen) who use it as self identifiers, instead of boxes to shove other people into, and are quite inclusive with it (like people can be transmasc/transfem regardless of agab sort of thing). So that does get me wondering about my distaste for agab language. I mean you seem to really identify with it, it'd be mean to say you can't use that word for yourself.

This turned out more negative than positive, but you seem to be using it pretty positively, so it got me wondering about your ideas with agab terms. /gen

Basically how I see them is that they can be self-identifiers and they can be useful terms, but only in certain situations

Like you said, agab shouldn't matter at all with things like going to the doctor for a cold or something completely unrelated (shoutout to the time I went to the doctor for a cough and he asked me if there was any chance that I could be pregnant like what 😭)

Afab and amab shouldn't be used like how tme and tma are, people are literally just using them as a different binary to put people into

Obviously I see my afabness as a very important part of my gender identity and other people don't and that's completely okay

And like what you said, people of the same agab can have different experiences

Like many afab people have more testosterone than other afab people

I see agab terms as terms that should only be brought up in conversations where it actually matters (such as this one, or someone stating their experiences as an amab person) or as self-identifiers

And they most definitely are exclusive of intersex people, since most of the time intersex people are assigned afab or amab

Like just because someone has F on their birth certificate doesn't mean they're gonna have the same experiences as someone else with F on their birth certificate yk?

And the fact that I'm the only person you've seen who uses agab as a self-identifier and is inclusive with it is kinda sad tbh 😭 like people should be able to identify as transmasc or transfem regardless of their agab

Transmasc and transfem just mean being trans and transitioning to masculinity/femininity, agab shouldn't matter and it should be up to the person on whether or not they wanna use those terms

Honestly people are just using agab terms as boxes to push people into, like it's literally just a new binary that's "inclusive"

And also like what you said about trans people with a certain agab, just because that's their agab doesn't mean they're gonna have every single afab trait if they're afab (and especially if they transition)

Just because both me and a cis woman are afab doesn't mean we're the same, I could have a dick but still be afab (I mean I don't but ykwim)

You basically just stated everything wrong with agab terms, how they're exclusionary and also rigid boxes to put us into that are labeled as "inclusive"

Just because some doctor took one look at our genitals and decided "yep, that's a female/male" doesn't mean that that should have to determine the rest of our lives

So basically, the only good way I see that agab terms can be used is for self-identifiers and in conversations or other situations where someone's agab would actually matter

Other than that, they're just a new exclusionary binary box that people are shoving us into

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