booboodaddysblog

[booboodaddysblog]

Promise

Warnings: alcohol, therapy with a psychologist, self-pity, bad mood

Words: 2823

———

Hour after hour passed, day after day, week after week. He didn't even realize when almost an entire month flew before his eyes. Almost a month when he last saw Marg and talked to her.

He wasn't doing very well. He was sleeping badly, eating badly... Even work wasn't going well for him, but he was going to work. He didn't want to sit at home. He didn't give up like the previous time he betrayed her. Now he was trying to be stronger, but...

- Colin! Why do I smell alcohol from you again?! - Mare pulled over and stopped the car halfway to the place they were just about to search.

Colin looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. He lowered his head, looking at his hands.

- I don't know...

- What do you mean you don't know?! Is this about Marg? - she said a little softly.

- Yes... - he closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

- I know you screwed something up, but I don't know all the details. You know I don't like to gossip. I know everyone around me is talking about it, but I haven't been focusing on it.

- I don't think I'm really coping...

- How often do you drink?

- Usually only in the evenings... after work… - he finally dared to look at her.

- At home or in a bar? - Mare wanted to know every detail.

- The bar and the house. Does it matter? - he raised his eyebrows.

- How much do you drink a day?

- Mare... I really... okay… beer... about four... hmm... - he sighed again - I also drink whiskey... three glasses... usually... - he whispered.

- Oh fucking Christ, Colin! You have a fucking problem! How long have you been drinking like this?! - Mare shouted at him again.

- Hmm... about a month... - he looked out the window, he didn't want to look at her anymore. Perfectly aware that in this way he shows that he is weak.

- Today you will meet with my psychologist. If not... I will inform our chief that you can no longer work with us. You will probably return to your previous workplace. Unless you are fired - she threatened him with her finger - yes... this is a threat and a warning at the same time, Colin! - Mare started the car again - let’s go back to work!

Colin looked at her with terrified eyes. Talking to a psychologist was the worst solution to this problem. He was afraid of psychologists. The only plus was that it wouldn't be their police psychologist. At least his problem would remain a secret... for a while.

——-

It was time to meet with a psychologist. Colin's thoughts were racing in his head and he felt sick. He felt dizzy. He sat in the waiting area outside the office and felt like he was about to throw up. He quickly walked over to the water dispenser and poured a full cup. He drank it all. He was breathing heavily while leaning his back against the wall.

- Mr. Zabel? - the psychologist lady looked out of the office to invite another patient inside.

- It's me, here I am… - Colin said nervously, pushing away from the wall. He pulled a tissue from his pocket and wiped his sweaty forehead with it. He followed her into the office.

- Please sit on the couch and relax. You can also lie down. As you are more comfortable - she sat down opposite him in an armchair.

Colin looked at her confused. Finally, he sat down on the couch. He tried to calm himself down. "I can do it, I can do it," he repeated in his mind.

- Now that you are comfortably seated. Let me start by saying that my patient Mare, has arranged for you to see me, because she is worried about you - she corrected the glasses on her nose and opened her notebook.

- Yes? I think so... I guess so… - he replied uncertainly.

- What is your problem that someone has started to worry about you, Mr. Zabel? - she clicked a pen to start taking notes.

At this sound Colin jumped up slightly on the couch. He was so focused on his thoughts that such a sound had a bad effect on him.

- I...

- Please do not be afraid. Everything we talk about here will stay just between us. I want to help you. Please, allow me to do so.

Colin silently nodded slightly in confirmation.

- Hmm... I... have been drinking too much lately - he focused his attention on his fingers.

- Can I know why?

- I can't cope with private problems. Too much going on at one time - he sighed deeply and forced himself to look at her.

- I understand. What's the problem? - she began to write something in her notebook.

- My girlfriend is pregnant, I mean fiancée... it's almost two months and... - he slightly raised himself on the couch trying to see what she was writing down - What are you writing there?

- Please sit down and don't look. These are my private notes, which will make it easier for me to understand you. But I can't show them to you - she pressed the notebook to her chest so he couldn't look.

- Aha… - he furrowed his forehead and sat down on the couch again. He reached for the water decanter and poured water.

- In that case, please tell me why you are not coping with the fact that you will soon be a father? - she put a pen to her lips, looking at him and waiting for an answer.

Colin noticed this and focused his gaze on her lips.

- Sir? Mr. Zabel? - she snapped her fingers in front of his eyes.

- Oh, sorry - he swallowed his saliva loudly - well... hmm... why? It's just that I've always been used to the freedom in life to... it scares me that I can't afford this child. I can't afford to get married. I can't afford a bigger house. I'm not even ready to tell my mother that she's going to become a grandmother - he said it quickly and wasn't sure she understood everything.

She stared at him for a moment before speaking again.

- Hmm... Mr. Zabel... it's really... hmm... to be honest you are not the only man in this world who has such a problem. Everyone tries to deal with it differently. Some escape into sports, others into work... and still others into alcohol - she shook her head with dissatisfaction - you chose the worst solution. And you know it very well.

He looked at his hands again. He drew in air loudly and let it out through his mouth.

- Yes, that's right... this... I wish I could stop drinking. Or rather, I would like to be able to deal with problems differently.

- I see that you are an athletic man. How about the gym? Do you go to the gym? - she raised an eyebrow with curiosity.

- No... I don't have time for that. I usually run in the morning and sometimes do a workout at home. I get home very late. I don't have time to go to the gym.

- I understand... maybe sometimes... I have an idea. Maybe you will start keeping a diary. You will describe in it all the things you are afraid of and can't cope with. Then you'll read it and start thinking about whether it makes sense and whether you can do something about it - she noted something in her notebook - I think it's a good idea. I don't want you to come to me without meaning to. I know that you can cope with the current situation. Everyone struggles with this. Not only men. Believe me. When too much happens in our lives at one time, you can go crazy. A person starts having doubts and thinking too much - she got up from her chair and walked to her desk. She reached for her business card and handed it to Colin - please, take this and use it only when you really can't handle your thoughts - she smiled at him.

Colin took the business card from her and looked at it silently.

- Please also promise me that you will stop drinking. You are a young and handsome man. Please don't waste your life over such foolishness as alcohol. You may lose your family and your job. I'm sure you don't want that.

He got up from the couch and sighed.

- You calmed me down a bit. I mean you didn't calm me down. You made me realize that I have a chance to somehow cope with such big changes in my life - he extended his hand to her to thank her.

- I believe in you. And believe me, women really don't like it when they smell alcohol from a man - she also extended her hand to him.

They shook hands while smiling gently at each other. Colin nodded his head confirming that her words had reached him.

- How much do I owe? - he reached into his pocket for his wallet.

- No... no. Please, put it back. I don't want anything from you. This was a meeting on the basis of getting to know you and your thoughts. Mare asked me to simply unlock you... unlock your thoughts. You were locked up - she smiled - you were only here for half an hour and I can already see that you are more relaxed. That was the plan for this meeting - she went to the door to open it for him - please take care of yourself and don't do stupid things. Because through foolishness you can lose the trust of everyone around you.

- You are right. I'm going to the store to buy a notebook and I'll write down my thoughts, or at least I'll try - he left the office - thank you and goodbye, or rather, I hope not to see you again.

- Goodbye, Mr. Zabel - she closed the door behind him.

He left the building and headed toward the store. He went inside and moved toward the stationery aisle. He selected a notebook and paid for it.

He was about to order a cab to go home when a restaurant caught his eye. He glanced at his watch.

- It's only 8 p.m. Last drink. I'm done with it tomorrow. Definitely - he moved towards the restaurant.

He went inside and sat down at the bar. Next to him on the countertop he put a notebook and his phone on it.

- What can I get you? - asked the bartender.

- Whiskey, thanks - he pulled a few bills from his wallet, placed them on the bar and moved them toward the bartender.

The bartender handed him a glass of amber liquid. He reached for it and looked at its contents.

- One last time - he said to himself and took a sip.

Colin didn't just drink one glass...he drank three. He was barely sitting on the bar stool. Lately, such an amount doesn't affect him so badly. The bartender refused to pour him another shot of alcohol.

He leaned his elbows on the countertop and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply and slowly. Suddenly he felt a touch on his shoulder. It was light and gentle. He wasn't sure if he thought it was delusion or if it was really happening.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. He felt like he was dreaming.

Marg was here with Roby. They had come to the restaurant for dinner. They were about to sit down at a table when Marg noticed Colin sitting at the bar. He didn't look good. He looked drunk and sad. He was alone. She walked up to him and touched his arm.

- Colin? Baby? What are you doing here? Are you all right? - she sat down next to him, waiting for an answer.

He looked at her with misty eyes. The fact that she was here and approached him as if nothing had happened between them really amazed him.

He rubbed his eyes to sober up slightly. But it didn't help much. Alcohol was raging through his veins. He tried to look at her with the most sober expression he could get right now.

- I just... just had to have a drink - he said slightly confused. Not wanting to go into the details of his mental state right now.

She looked at him with sad eyes.

- You know very well that you shouldn't drink - she grabbed his hand and squeezed it - Were you at work today?

He really didn't expect her to show him any affection now. He had the impression that she had been more frigid towards him at first, but now she was actually nice. But that touch… It was almost as if she had already missed him. Or maybe it just seemed that way to him. It was impossible for things to go back to normal.

- Yes, I was working today... - he said, nodding slightly.

She smiled slightly at him. But in truth, she was sad to see Colin in such a state. She thought he was over it.

- Colin? I have a request. Could you order a cab and go home? Tomorrow morning you have to get up for work. Please don't drink. That doesn't help at all, and only makes things worse. You will feel bad. Believe me. And remember, I didn't leave you, we just have a small crisis. Everything will be fine. I love you...

- But… - he fell silent for a moment.

He was really surprised to hear these words. And the fact that she was still worried about him was also nice. He felt that maybe the situation really wasn't as hopeless as he thought it was.

- Okay, I'll do it... - he was even able to smile a little more after she said those tender words. She was right, he needed sleep, but he knew he would definitely wake up with a hangover.

- In that case, I'll see you at work tomorrow. I've been to the doctor today, he gave me permission to work because I feel better - she kissed him on the cheek - shall we have lunch together tomorrow during the break at work? - she whispered in his ear.

He smiled and felt warm at heart. He really liked the idea. He missed her so much. But he didn't want to show it to her.

- I would like to have lunch together tomorrow, yes... it would be nice to talk to you again... - he said in a slightly trembling voice.

- Great. I'm really happy. Okay, well I'm going back to my friend. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you - she kissed him on the lips and laughed like an excited teenager - Oh, you taste like a whiskey, bleh, but I love you anyway! - she laughed again and walked away towards the table where her friend was sitting.

- I love you too...

He watched her walk away without even bothering to finish his drink. He was actually quite pleased that she came up and talked to him. But that kiss on the lips? She could have given him a kiss on the cheek, then he wouldn't have gotten so hot. He undid a few buttons of his shirt at the neck and loosened his tie more. He drew in the air deeply.

Marg noticed that Colin was watching her and smiled at her. She waved him off and sent him a kiss. She was pleased with this chance encounter. She had not seen him for almost a month.

Colin reached for the phone and ordered a cab. After a moment, he got up from the bar stool, put on his coat and headed for the exit. He deliberately walked past her table and touched her shoulder, smiling. He staggered slightly because of the alcohol he had consumed, but she believed he would be fine tomorrow.

He went outside and looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. He felt more confident as he walked past her table. He tried to take his steps correctly, but it didn't quite work out.

- You are pathetic, Zabel! - he shouted toward the sky and laughed.

One part of his body wanted to stay there with her, but the other longed to be back home to start getting ready for tomorrow. He needed to sober up.

————

@robnovetre

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #colin zabel #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #mare of easttown #evan peters fanfic #fanfic #evan peters fandom #fantasy

[booboodaddysblog]

you were caught

murdering someone.. ..but by your wife..

#james patrick march #evan peters #american horror story #ahs hotel #ahs

[booboodaddysblog]

Illusory hope

Part two

Warning: hospital, crying, blood, kissing, arguing, punishment, cursing, teasing

Words: 7155

Suffering, betrayal, crying... and many other unpleasant moments in life make us feel vulnerable and pushed away from everything we cared about. We lose motivation and give up…

Every now and then Colin would lose consciousness and regain it again. Roberta would not let him close his eyes. He was losing a lot of blood. He was losing feeling all over his body and felt strangely light-headed. His eyes were closing uncontrollably.

- Colin! - Roberta slapped his cheek with an open palm - I told you not to leave me the hell alone! Don't close your fucking eyes! Look at me! - she cried all the time, she was unable to control her tears - the ambulance is on its way, everything will be fine - she whispered - don't leave me - she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand tightly.

He was unable to speak, only seeing her as if through a fog. It no longer occurred to him what was happening. He didn't feel her punch him in the face, didn't hear her shout at him. He didn't even feel when she clenched his hand tightly. With all his strength, he tried to fight not to close his eyes. But he was already losing control on that too.

Suddenly, paramedics rushed into the room, followed by Lizzie.

- Oh God! Finally! Faster! I don't want to lose him! - Roberta moved away from Colin, but for anything she did not want to let go of his hand, which was slowly getting cold.

The paramedic approached her and tried to pull her away from him.

- Please let go of the injured man and let us help if you want to see him again! - he shouted at her, and she looked at him terrified and quickly moved away.

Lizzie caught her in her arms and hugged her tightly, stroking her hair.

- Everything will be fine, believe it - she kissed her on the forehead.

Roberta was unable to answer anything. She was flooded with tears and would have fallen to her knees, but Lizzie hugging her tightly.

- Everything will be fine - she kept repeating it, trying to comfort her friend.

Paramedics surrounded Colin. They hooked him up to an IV and clamped a bandage tightly on his injured arm to dam the blood. They lifted him from the bed and placed him on a stretcher.

- Oh no! Where are you taking him! Don't take him away from me! - she tried to break out of Lizzie's grasp, but she did not let her.

- Calm down, they are taking him to the hospital! They want to save him! Let them do it!

- I will never see him again! - she wept loudly again.

- You will see him - she said this time calmly.

Colin was carried out of the room on a stretcher. His body was inert. He was no longer moving. He had lost consciousness completely. A healthy arm dangled from the stretcher.

Roberta ran out into the hallway after them, intending to walk Colin to the hotel exit. She was already a little calmer. She watched as they carried him to the elevator and the elevator doors closed behind them. She quickly ran to the next elevator across the hall and nervously pressed the call button.

- Faster! - she nervously pressed the button - oh finally! - she ran into the elevator and descended to the reception level of the hotel.

The paramedics were almost at the door. She wanted to leave with them when suddenly she felt a strong tug on her arm.

- And where do you think you're going? - James tightly clasped his hand on her arm. He smiled devilishly.

- Let me go! - she tried to pull her arm out of his grasp - let me go!

- I don’t suppose I will - James laughed and took a drag on the cigarette held in his other hand. He blew the smoke straight into her face.

- Let me go! Let me go! - she yelled at him.

- I don't understand why you waste so much energy, my sweet flower. It's without purpose. You will get tired and be useless tonight. I will frankly admit that it excites me extremely to see your inert body when you are sleeping. But nevertheless, I prefer you to be aware of what I am doing to you - he laughed again and leaned toward her ear - I like it when you make alluring sounds - he whispered.

Roberta stopped struggling and looked at James with furious eyes. She swung and hit him in the face with all her strength with her fist. His head snapped back, and his perfectly coiffed hair was now in disarray and fell over his forehead. James grabbed his cheek massaging it and looking with shocked eyes at his beloved. He felt blood in his mouth.

- Don't be ridiculous, you are dead! You don't feel anything! - she wanted to hit him again, but restrained herself - I would kill you again if I could! But I can't! - shouted to the whole hall - You take away everything I love, everything I like, everything that gives me pleasure. Spending time with you stops pleasing me. You are mentally unbalanced! You are abnormal! I hate you! - she cried again.

James brushed his hair away from his forehead and tried to comb it with his fingers to get it back in place, but to no avail. He sighed and extended his hand to his beloved. She moved away.

- Dearest, you are talking foolishness. You don't mean it. I know this, I already know you a little. I know that you will soon calm down and you will be my sweet angel again - he tried to touch her again - My hobby has nothing to do with you. But this insignificant detective stood in my way at the wrong time and place. He demanded something he can't get. He tried to achieve this with a lie. I wanted to teach him a lesson.

- A lesson?! A lesson?! You almost killed him! I have no idea if he will survive it! - she shouted again - you think only of yourself!

- But, no, sweetest! I think about you all the time! I want all the best for you! You are the most important thing for me!

- You are so selfish! - she shook her head with displeasure.

Roberta moved toward the hotel exit.

- No, you can't leave this hotel! I don't allow it! I don't agree! You are not allowed! You won't! - James shouted at her waving his hands.

- I'm not afraid of you! I don't want to be here! Fuck you, James! - she disappeared behind the door.

James watched in shock as his love disappeared out the door.

- I don't believe it - he whispered, dropping to his knees and hiding his face in his hands.

- I told you that she won’t be with you forever. I think you slightly went too far. I know you probably wanted to protect her... Well... it didn't work out. You can't kill people she likes or loves only to have her return to you out of loneliness and despair - Lizzie stood behind him - you won't achieve anything with this behavior. I think you will only make your situation worse.

James got up from the floor, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and looked angrily at Lizzie.

- What right do you have to talk to me like that? - he said with anger in his eyes.

- When next time you come to me to complain about your problems… don't count on it… - she turned and walked away toward the reception desk.

——————-

Roberta caught a cab in front of the hotel, she did not have to wait long.

- Where should I take you? - asked the cab driver as soon as she got into the back seat.

- The police station.

The cab driver took off. He didn't speak again the whole way. Not until they reached the place.

- We are on the spot. $60 is due.

- Thank you. Please send the bill to the address of the Hotel Cortez - she got out and moved toward the entrance of the building.

She tried to fix her smudged makeup with a tissue she found in her pocket, but she knew that without water she could do nothing about it. She went inside and approached the reception desk.

- Good evening. Where is the bathroom? - she asked the receptionist.

- Good evening. Oh, what happened to you?!

- I just have smeared makeup. I was crying. I'm fine. Please, tell me where the bathroom is. And then please let Mare know that I want to talk to her. This is very important. Then where is this bathroom? - she smiled coolly at the receptionist.

- Straight ahead and to the left. The second door on the right.

- Thank you - she moved in the designated direction.

She entered the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

- I look terrible - she whispered and grabbed some paper towels. She wet them and began to wash her face. Only now did she notice that her clothes were stained with blood... Colin's blood - she felt herself to cry again, but held back her tears and sighed loudly. She threw away the used towels and washed her hands. She left the bathroom and walked up to the reception desk again.

- Mare is at her office? - she smiled.

- Yes. I informed her of your arrival.

- Thank you.

Roberta moved towards Mare's office. She stopped in front of the door and knocked.

- Come in - replied Mare and got up from the desk to greet Roberta - What brings you to me? - she looked her over from top to bottom - oh, why are you in blood?

- It's not my blood - she said with a sad voice.

- In that case, whose?

- It's Colin's blood... that's why I'm here.

Mare's eyes grew big with horror. She was unable to say anything. She sat down heavily on a chair and stared at Roberta.

- What... what happened? Where? When? - she said in a whisper.

- At the hotel. He was shot in the shoulder. About an hour ago - Roberta barely stopped herself from crying.

- Oh God - she whispered - is he alive?

- They took him to the hospital. He lost a lot of blood. I hope he survives it.

- We have to go to him.

- They won't let me in. You know very well how it works "only the immediate family" - sighed Roberta.

- Police can always come in. So you can join me - she looked at Roberta again - you need to change clothes. Wait, I'll find you something right away. I always have something here to change into - Mare looked in the closet and pulled out pants and a hoodie - it should be okay.

- Thank you - she smiled at her.

While Roberta was getting dressed, Mare prepared the documents she would need to enter the hospital.

- I'm ready.

- Okay, let's go, there's nothing to wait for - Mare put on her jacket and left the office. Roberta followed her in silence.

- I won't be back today. Good night Cindy - she said to the receptionist.

- Good night Mare.

They left the police station and headed toward Mare's car.

- When we are there, don't say anything. I'll take care of everything. I can see that you are not feeling well. I hope everything will be fine - Mare stroked Roberta's thigh - Colin is a great guy. A little annoying, but very stubborn. When he decides to do something... he will not let go. And here we have the consequences. Sometimes you really feel like giving him a decent kick in the ass to make him understand - she sighed - okay, everything will work out somehow.

Roberta only smiled at her and remained silent. All the time her throat was clenched, she was felt herself to cry. She swallowed her tears trying to show that she was strong. But she was in a lot of pain... she knew that Colin was suffering even more now because of her. It was her fault. She was the one who let herself get too close to him. And he caught the hook and this pulled him down. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly to feel better. It didn't help much.

Finally, they were already at the hospital.

- Okay, like I said. Don't speak when we're inside. I'll take care of everything - Mare got out of the car.

Roberta followed her in silence. There was nothing else left for her.

They approached the hospital reception desk. Mare immediately pulled out her badge.

- Detective Mare Sheehan. You recently received Detective Colin Zabel with a gunshot wound. Where can I find him?

- Please wait a moment - the nurse began to review the documents - Yes, we have such a patient. At the moment he is in the operating room.

- In the operating room? - whispered Roberta. She felt herself getting faint.

- I see - replied Mare, looking at Roberta instead of the nurse - how much longer can it take?

- The operation started after 10 p.m. It's now about 11 p.m. I think they should finish soon and the patient will be transported to the recovery room.

- Do you have any information on what exactly they are doing to him?

- Unfortunately. Please talk to the doctor after the operation.

- Thank you. We'll wait - Mare smiled at the nurse - come on, you need to sit down - she grabbed Roberta's arm and led her toward the chairs in the waiting room - sit down, I'll get us something to drink.

Roberta nodded her head. Tears came into her eyes. She was no longer able to control them.

Mare returned with two mugs of coffee, a bottle of water and a chocolate bar.

- Drink it - she handed Roberta a coffee and a candy bar - and eat this, I don't feel like visiting you in the hospital too. Cheer up.

- It's not that easy - she said quietly and took a sip of coffee - thank you.

- I know it's not easy. For me too, but honestly... I'm already a little used to it. There is something going on all the time, someone gets shot or injured in various circumstances.

They were interrupted by a nurse.

- Mr. Colin Zabel has been taken to the recovery room. Of course, he is unconscious. But you ladies can take a look at him. Room number 4. I will tell the doctor that you want to talk to him.

- Thank you - Mare stood up - come on - she helped Roberta stand up.

- Do you know where we should go?

- Yes, I know this hospital very well - she sighed.

They walked down the main hallway and turned left. They passed the rooms one by one until they reached number 4. They looked through the window and saw Colin. He was lying unconscious on the bed.

- Are you sure you want to go in? - Mare spoke up.

- Yes, she answered quietly.

Mare opened the door and let Roberta in first. She walked slowly up to Colin and looked at him. He was sleeping so peacefully. His breathing was even and calm. He was not hooked up to any breathing assistance. This meant that he wasn't so bad. He only had a hydration IV. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. His hand was warm and soft, but he did not reciprocate the squeeze.

- Everything will be fine. He's a strong guy - Mare spoke up suddenly pulling her out of her thoughts.

- He looks so calm.

- Honestly, it's even better, sometimes it would be better for him to keep quiet. He is terribly annoying - she laughed.

Roberta only looked at her with a slight smile.

After talking to the doctor, they let go of the hospital with the thought that Colin was fine. That he would be fine... One thing was certain, he needed many months of rehabilitation and support.

Colin was a strong guy and stubborn, but his mental health was not at its best. Roberta hoped that she would be able to lift him up. That she would help him recover faster both physically and mentally.

Mare drove her to the hotel.

- Thank you for allowing me to go in there with you and visit Colin - she smiled weakly at Mare.

- No problem. If you want to go to him again, let me know - Mare patted her on the shoulder - and now run away. I have to go home.

- Thanks again - she got out of the car and closed the door behind her.

She moved toward the front door of the hotel. She did not want to go back there. At the very thought, she was overwhelmed with anger, and at the same time she wanted to cry.

She pushed the door with all her strength and went inside. She immediately headed for the elevators and went to the floor where the bar was located. She didn't mind that she didn't look very feminine in the clothes she borrowed from Mare. Most importantly, she was not stained with blood.

She sat down at the bar and looked at Lizzie. She didn't say anything, just waited until she realized she had sat at the bar.

- Oh! Roberta! - Lizzie suddenly noticed her and quickly approached - oh girl, what is this outfit? - she furrowed her eyebrows while looking at the hoodie that Roberta was wearing.

- It doesn't matter - she sighed - pass me my drink, please.

- Alright - she set about preparing the drink.

Roberta, meanwhile, looked around the bar and the guests who were sitting at the tables. Suddenly she noticed someone familiar. She squinted her eyes in disbelief at what she was seeing. She herself didn't know if she should be angry or merely displeased.

At a table against the wall sat... James. His back was turned to her. His pose was relaxed. He was smoking a cigar and every time he let the smoke out of his mouth, he tilted his head back. He was savoring it.

He was not alone. Next to him sat some brunette. Roberta could see her face in detail. She stared at James as if enchanted. She nodded at everything he said. She was delighted with him. She was smiling like she was in love.

- Do you have this drink? - she turned to Lizzie.

- Yes, I just finished it - she placed her order on the bar.

- Thank you - she smiled.

She got up from the bar stool and moved toward the man who declared his love for her. Who could kill for her out of love.

She approached and sat down at their table as if nothing had happened.

- Am I not interrupting? - she smiled artificially - I see that this place is free. I found that I will sit here. If I may, of course.

James looked at her in silence and took a drag on his cigar. He let out the smoke just as he had the previous time. He measured her with his eyes from the top - he looked under the table - to the bottom. He raised his eyebrows and curved his lips in disappointment. He sighed.

- Didn't you have any other clothes? - he asked without changing his disgruntled expression - this is not the right outfit to be in such a luxurious place - he did not take his eyes off her waiting for an answer.

- My previous clothes were stained with blood by someone. I think what I am wearing now is more appropriate to be in such a luxurious place - she looked at him angrily.

- Really? - he laughed quietly and took another drag on his cigar.

- Who is it? - she asked James looking at his companion.

- Carmen.

- Carmen... Carmen did you bump your head against the curb and can't you see how disgusting this man is? - she turned to her with a devilish smile.

- Roberta! What are you doing?! How dare you?! - James leaned toward her, looking at her with a menacing gaze.

- Calm down, James - Carmen touched his hand - I think it's rather you... - she measured her, with disgust, with her eyes - it's you who has a problem with your head, because you come here dressed like this. What a shame!

- Excuse me?! Who the hell are you?! - Roberta felt like slapping her.

- Calm down! - spoke up James - Roberta, please go to your room. We'll talk at another time. Now I have to do my business. And you... and you are disturbing me - he looked at her with an angry gaze.

- Fine! - Roberta got up and walked to the bar.

She put down her drink on the bar top and headed for the elevators.

Lizzie knew what was going on, but she didn't want to get into it. Roberta had to be left alone now. Any conversation made absolutely no sense now.

Roberta entered the room where she and Colin had been earlier. In which... she didn't even want to think about it. She slammed the door behind her with a bang. She looked towards the bed. Everything was perfectly cleaned. Mrs. Evers had done her job and, as always, cleaned up the mess after James.

She walked over to the bed and pushed back the quilt. She grabbed a pillow and threw it into the corner of the room. She grabbed the sheet and pushed it away as well. Then the blanket, until she reached the mattress. There she found pale traces of Colin's blood. Everything was still damp. Mrs. Evers didn't quite manage to clean everything.

In despair, she fell to her knees beside the bed and cried. She was a bundle of nerves that she could no longer control.

- You screwed up, James! You screwed up! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you so much! You motherfucker!

She screamed and cried at the same time. She cursed him. She was helpless. She slammed her fists on the mattress in despair.

James sat in an armchair in the dark. On the table next to him stood a glass of whiskey. In his hand he held a cigar. He watched the scene with a smile, but at the same time he was filled with pure hatred and anger. He said nothing, only looked. He wasn’t the least bit moved by what Roberta called him. He was completely indifferent to it at the moment. He only sighed quietly. Thus giving her a sign that he was here.

Roberta turned her head toward the sound she heard. It was coming from a darker part of the room. She got up and walked over to the door where the light switch was. She turned on the light and heard a groan. She saw James cover his eyes with his hand.

- Oh you are acting like a vampire, which of course you are not! You are pathetic! - she shouted at him.

He still said nothing. He uncovered his eyes and looked at her. He waited to see what else she had to say.

- Why are you silent?! Why did you shoot him! You almost killed him! Have you lost your mind?!

Roberta came closer and looked at him. She was so furious.

- Because you belong to me! The second that bastard set foot in this hotel, he soiled it with his person! He tainted this place! - clenched his fist - that bastard didn't deserve you! You can't just run away and sleep with anyone, no! Especially with a loser like that God-forsaken detective. It should be me! Me! I should be the only man in your life!

- Why the hell did you shoot him! - she didn't give up.

- I just did it, stupid woman! - he yelled at her. His veins on his neck became prominent - Once again I repeat! You belong to me! And only to me! You can't be with anyone but me! And he, didn’t respect our relationship! He didn’t respect what I said to him! So of course I followed you into the room and watched your actions with satisfaction! He's lucky I didn't kill him!

- You betrayed me many times and… I’m still here! I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself! You’re a monster! - she raised her hand wanting to slap him.

James grabbed her wrist before she could slap him. He held her tight.

- Oh, I'm a monster? Am I?

He rose from his seat and looked down at her. She could see pure, unbridled anger on his face. He was no longer the same charming man he had been before.

- Then what's stopping you from leaving? Hm?

- Because you once said that when I leave you, you will kill me! And I will stay with you forever - she whispered, without looking at him.

- Good girl! - he muttered, letting go of her hand and stepping back - That's why you're still here! You are mine! - he chuckled - And anyway, who said I can't shoot Colin? - he smiled again. He returned to his chair, sat down and lit a cigar.

- Please, don't kill him. He is really important to me. I love him, but… I love you more. He is my comfort person. I can rest with him. Please! - Roberta fell to her knees begging him - He is now in the hospital, in a coma. Please spare him! I will ask him not to go to the hotel again. You will never see him again! - she touched his knee.

James paused for a moment. He seemed to have taken the request into consideration. He inhaled his cigar, blowing smoke out of his nose before speaking.

- Very fine. I won't kill him... for now. But only because you ask - he looked at her, smiling. But this smile wasn’t sincere. It was forced - But I have one request for you...

- Yes, James? I’ll do anything you ask - Roberta squeezed his knee.

- Stop seeing him. Stop seeing anyone but me - he leaned slightly toward her, his voice became low, he spoke slowly - just tell him you want to stop seeing him. Tell him you don't love him anymore. Tell him that you need me and that I am your love, your everything, and he is nothing. Will you do it for me?

- Oh my god, James… but…

He raises his hand to stop her.

- No buts. Am I not your only love? Are you going to tell him or not? I need to hear you say it.

Roberta got up from the floor and started walking around the room. She held her head in confusion. Her thoughts were running wild.

- James... - she began to cry - James... please... this...

- Say it.

The way he said those words was as blunt as possible. He didn't try to comfort her, her reaction didn't concern him very much. She could cry as much as she wanted. He only wanted to hear confirmation of his request.

- Are you going to tell him that, Roberta? Will you tell him it's over? Yes or no?

She stopped and looked at him with weeping eyes.

- I love you, James. Please… - she whispered.

- I know you love me - James rolled his eyes - but that was not the question I just asked you. Are you going to say those words to him? Are you going to tell him that you no longer love him and that he means nothing to you. That from now on only I matter to you? - He raised his eyebrow and squinted his eyes.

Roberta swallowed her saliva loudly. She stared at James and was silent for a moment.

- Fine... I'll do it... but I don't know when he'll wake up from the coma. I could visit him for the last time in the hospital? One last time…

She reached for a tissue lying on the table and wiped her tears with it.

James watched her carefully while taking a drag on his cigar.

- Well, I reluctantly agree to it, but you can visit him one last time. And then you have to tell him. Do you understand? You have to tell him that you don't love him anymore. Do I make myself clear? - he said the last sentence louder than he intended.

- Yes… James… - she whispered.

- Good girl... - he smiled and got up from his chair slowly approaching her - just promise me one more thing...

Roberta watched him waiting for what he had to say. She stepped back slightly when he approached her.

- Make it… real, my dearest. Tell him I'm your whole world. Tell him that you are in love to the point of madness. Tell him... that you regret meeting him and sleeping with him. Let it hurt him... a lot... - he leaned over and whispered in her ear - let him also regret having met you... let him regret every minute he spent with you... - he lightly bit her earlobe and purred.

- But why? I can't be that mean! It's already too much! - she shook her head with displeasure - I'll just say... that I can't live without you, and that you are the most important to me. And I will apologize to him for hurting him... but... I hope he will find love... but... it won't be me… - she sat on the bed and closed her eyes.

- No, this is not enough! Colin must be hurt! I want him to be scarred mentally and physically! I want him to know the consequences of crossing the threshold of my hotel and appropriating what belongs to me! I want him to suffer! Do it differently from what I tell you to do, and you'll know those consequences too! - his voice became louder. He began to lose patience - say everything as I told you to! Word for word! Hurt him as much as you can! Do you understand?! Confirm it!

- James… please… I can’t…

- Say it!

He clenched his teeth and fists. He didn't care if she cried now, he didn't care if she begged him. All he cared about now was hearing those words coming out of her mouth.

- I promise to tell him everything... word for word... - she didn’t look at him. This was the only way she had the courage to say the words.

James stared at her in silence for a moment. He watched her cry. He watched the tears run down her blushing cheeks. He almost felt remorse for what he forced her to do... However, he quickly shook off the feeling. He felt no empathy or sympathy. He only felt a cold when he looked at her.

- You better do what you promised... - he leaned over her and lifted her chin forcing her to look at him.

- I promise… - she looked into his eyes with horror.

He leaned in even further, grabbed her by the neck and kissed her greedily on the lips. He bit her until she bled. She tried to pull away from him.

He licked his lips and smiled devilishly.

- I love the taste - he moved away from her.

He walked over to the table by the chair and drank the whiskey to the end.

Roberta touched her lips and looked at her bloody fingers. He had bitten her really hard.

He puts down empty glass and walks to the door. He stopped in front of them. For a moment he was about to return to her. He felt excitement rising in him as soon as he tasted her blood on his tongue. But he held back, clenching his fist and tightly clenching his eyelids. He sighed loudly. Without turning around, he said.

- When he wakes up, you will tell him. Don't let me down, my darling - he opened the door and walked out leaving her alone in the room.

She cried even more. She couldn't breathe. She struggled to catch air. She lay down on the bed and curled up her legs. She fell asleep very quickly. She was exhausted.

After a few hours, she suddenly woke up from a nap. She stared at the ceiling. She sat up on the bed and took a deep breath. She still had tears in her eyes.

She didn’t hear any sounds, which could mean that she was completely alone. However, James' presence was still felt everywhere. His voice still echoed in her mind. She touched her lips and hissed in pain. She closed her eyes again, dreaming of falling asleep again.

She got out of bed and wrapped herself in a blanket. She went to the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her mascara was smeared from crying. She looked really tired and sad.

She washed her face and left the room. She headed for the hotel's kitchen, she was hungry. Although it was long after midnight, she didn't mind.

She walked down the empty hallway, hearing no one else around, it was really quiet. She took the elevator down to the right floor and entered the kitchen. She turned on the light and looked around. Everything looked a little suspicious, as if someone had just been here. But the kitchen was empty. But it seemed to her that she felt someone's presence and that this someone was watching her.

She shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the refrigerator. She looked at its contents. She selected eggs, arugula and red peppers. She took a frying pan out of the cabinet and put it on the burner. She grabbed a cutting board and a knife and began slicing the peppers.

She stopped cutting and looked around again. The silence was almost intimidating. It was quiet... too quiet. It made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe she was being watched. Or maybe she was being... being followed? It was too quiet... too... She heard a quiet thump. She clenched her fingers tighter on the handle of the knife.

She had the feeling that someone was right behind her, panting in her neck. She quickly turned around, but saw no one. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a soft shadow, but she didn't see anything there as she stared longer at the spot. She felt her heart speed up. She was probably starting to become paranoid. It must have just been paranoia... There was no one there. It was just her imagination...

- It's just my imagination - she said to herself and sighed. She returned to slicing the peppers.

However, she found it hard to bear the quietness of the kitchen. Too quiet.

Suddenly she felt a cold breeze on the back of her neck. She jumped up frightened and swung the knife breathing heavily. She couldn't see anything, so nothing or no one was there. She should continue cooking, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched from afar...

- Is there anyone here? - she gripped the knife tighter and started walking around the kitchen.

No one was around. Not a single soul. She barely heard her own footsteps as she walked along the tiles. She was completely alone. This is just paranoia. She sighed when she realized no one was there and went back to cooking.

Suddenly she heard a strange sound. A sound like something scraping against the floor or something being dragged across it? It was barely audible at first, but it was enough to get her attention. She started listening.

- Hello? - she whispered.

There was a moment of silence, then the sound of pulling sounded again. Now it was closer. She heard it clearly. The thing was approaching her, it was already very close, so close that it should already be within her sight...

She open her mouth in shock.

She heard the sound stop right behind her. Cold breath fills the space and air. The silence became deafening again, and the temperature dropped even further.

She turned slowly and looked into his eyes. She still held the knife in her hand. She was ready to defend herself.

And there he is. He was standing right in front of her. His usually snow-white shirt was now stained with fresh blood. His eyes were fixed on her, staring at her through small glasses. His gaze pierced through her, her heart, her soul, everything in her body. He didn't say anything. He didn't move. He just stood there looking at her.

She also looked at him and remained silent. She didn't know what he wanted from her. After all, they had argued and he had left her alone in the room, crying. She was sad.

The silence was deafening. He stares at her. The knife in her hand made him feel uncomfortable, he kept his distance. He felt like ripping that knife out of her hand. He longed to hug her, apologize and comfort her. To feel her skin against his own. So close...

- You scared me - she whispered.

He couldn't help but smile when he heard that he scared her. That was exactly his intention.

- I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to scare you - he laughed.

- What do you want, James? - she sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.

- Just checking on you, that’s all - this sentence sounded like he was making up an excuse on the fly. Not very good, but he hoped it would be enough.

- Aha and why are you soiled with blood? - Roberta looked at his shirt.

James hesitated for a moment and thought about what to say.

- I killed one of the hotel guests. He was terribly annoying. He watched porn all the time in that annoying and loud box. I couldn't stand it - he pointed with his hand to the floor - Do you see that path of blood on the floor leading to the cold room? This is my work - he laughed out loud - I had to drag him on the floor, he was very heavy - he pretended to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

- Was this your way of unwinding the argument with me and the fact that you yelled at me? - she raised an eyebrow.

- Not exactly the way I wanted to unwind it, but… - he said it in a low voice - and yes, I yelled at you. I know, I know... I'm sorry, it's just... I can't help it. I guess I really am jealous of you - he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

James was confused. Confused by everything at the moment. Confused about his own feelings, confused about what he wants and confused about how he should act in this situation. She made him feel things he hasn't felt in so long. But he didn't want to show it. Not now. He knew he had made a mistake shooting Colin. He couldn’t now show her feelings and show that she was making him weak.

Roberta said nothing. She turned her back to him again and put the food on her plate.

- I'm so sorry you're dead and can't taste this wonderful scrambled eggs - she walked over to the table and sat down on the chair.

James squinted, walked over to the table and sat down in the chair next to her. He felt anger rising in him. He was furious, but he didn't want to let it show. His face remained neutral. He watched Roberta as she ate.

- I hope you're sorry you can't taste this delicious food - she shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

- I’m not even hungry. Hmm… or maybe I’m…

- Hungry for what? - she stoped chowing.

- I’m hungry for you, my hummingbird - he touched her thigh under the table and squeezed it.

Roberta pushed his hand off her thigh and moved to the other chair. Now he couldn’t touch her.

- Forget it, my darling. You made a mess so now you must have your punishment. I have my punishment from you. I have to say goodbye to Colin forever. And you are grounded for sex. For sex with me - she sighed loudly - And honestly I don't give a damn if you find someone instead of me to have some relaxation - she got up from the table and headed for the exit.

- But... sweet hummingbird... what do you mean I'm grounded?! Me?! James Patrick March, I’m grounded?! This is some kind of joke! - he started yelling - come back here! Don't you dare leave here now! - he got up from the table and started walking towards her.

- Stop! - she ordered him to stop - Call Mrs. Evers to clean up this mess. You can shout at her, but not at me - she grabbed the handle and opened the door - I'm going to my room. Don't come near me until I let you! - She disappeared out the door.

- Roberta! You have no right!

He stared angrily for a moment at the door through which his beloved had just exited.

- Mrs. Evers! - James shouted at full throat.

- Yes, Mr. March - she entered with a quick step through the door - how can I help you?

- Please clean up here! It's supposed to shine! - he walked to the door to leave the kitchen.

- What about your shirt? You look really repulsive - she croaked at the sight of him.

- I can handle it - he left the kitchen.

@robnovetre

Part one

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #colin zabel #mare of easttown #james march smut #james march #james patrick march x reader #james patrick march #ahs hotel #hotel #evan peters fanfic #fanfic

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Evan at Coachella 2024 👀

I’m so happy for him!!! ❤️🥹🤧

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NEW! 🚨 New photo of Evan Peters with a member of the musical group Meduza. 📸 meduzamusic (ig)

#he’s so hot #evan peters hot

[booboodaddysblog]

Disappointment

Part three

Warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, arguing, crying, slapping, drama

Words: 3242

———

Colin woke up and looked at his watch. It was 4 in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Marg lying next to him. She was sleeping peacefully. Her lips were slightly parted. He was tempted to touch her lips. He was already about to do so when he remembered what time it was. He couldn't wake her up after all. There was nothing left for him to do but watch her beautiful face and listen to her quiet breathing.

He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't understand how she could sleep so peacefully after what happened last night. He himself didn't know what it was. An argument? Or maybe it was just... the fear of letting her down. He wanted to give her so much of himself... and yet he screwed up. On top of that, twice more during that evening.

Colin hardly slept at all that night. His thoughts were running wild, trying to find a solution to the situation. Everything he thought about was negative. He was immersing himself and putting himself in a bad mood. He knew this was not good. He knew that nothing good would come out of this. It would only get worse and worse.

He desired to be happy. He desired to have a family. And that was going to happen in the near future. But... the longer Marg stayed in his house, the worse he felt. He was used to being alone, to living alone. He did not feel at ease now. On the other hand, however, he felt good with the knowledge that when he returned from work someone was waiting for him. It's an amazing feeling when you open the door and a loved one hugs you. All the stress and fatigue floated away as if by magic.

His thoughts were one big mess. He didn't know how he should deal with it. He was beginning to understand why his ex had left him. Probably because he acted the same way he does now with Marg. She had given up and left. She was really trying to save their relationship. She tried to talk to Colin... but he was closed off and focused more on work than his personal life. With Marg it's different, she understands his work... they work together. She can see what it all looks like. Stress, fatigue, thoughtfulness... trying to solve another case at work…

He looked at Marg again. She closed her mouth. Maybe she could feel him moving. It was almost 5 a.m... maybe they could try to fix their mood a little... just how... he looked at her again and smiled. He got up gently from the bed and stood in front of it. He started to go under the quilt from the side of Marg's feet. He hoped that what he wanted to do would succeed. He sighed quietly at the sight of her legs. He lightly kissed her left calf and moved higher. Suddenly he froze, Marg moved slightly and rolled over onto her back, still immersed in sleep.

- "That's even better” - he thought and licked his lips.

He started kissing her thighs, inch by inch. This was what he needed. He felt a hunger. He gently moved his hands over her smooth skin. He felt Marg move slightly and sighed in her sleep. Maybe she was dreaming of something really nice.

He was already really close to the spot between her thighs. He closed his eyes and kissed her there. He tried to spread her thighs slightly, but felt resistance.

- What are you doing? - said Marg in a sleepy voice, lifting the quilt to see who was disturbing her sleep.

- I... got hungry - he smiled innocently.

- And you claim to find something to eat here? - she said yawning.

- Of course - he whispered and moved his index finger across her stomach, sliding it lower.

- Okay, let it be - she sighed and lay on her back draping the quilt over Colin again. She pressed his head against her stomach. She heard muffled laughter.

He separated her legs and inhaled the sweet scent of his favorite place. He purred. He kissed her sweet and juicy pink lips. He felt her tremble. Her body was very sensitive to his touch, she felt everything with redoubled power. He sucked on her lips. He had to hold her legs because she wanted to escape him.

- Colin, oh God I can't stand it! - she moaned loudly and grabbed Colin's hair, forcing him to come out from under the quilt.

- What happened? - he asked surprised while licking his lips and wiping his nose with the top of his hand.

- I can't handle it. What you're doing is too strong for me. I almost peed myself - she whispered the last sentence.

- Oh... then how can I please you if you don't want to feed me? - he said pretending to be offended.

Marg pulled him close and pressed her mouth into his mouth. She kissed him deeply and passionately.

- I love your lips - she returned to exploring the inside of his mouth with her tongue.

An uncontrollable moan escaped his lips, and they were both breathing heavily. Colin, not knowing what to do with his hands, began to move them down her body. She wriggled under him feeling what he was doing. She moaned into his mouth and trembled even though he hadn't done anything yet.

- Oh you are so hot and wet - he moved his fingers over her clit - and hungry... - they kissed continuously.

- Yes... yes... Colin... - she moaned into his mouth.

- Yes?

He slid one finger inside her, with his thumb he continued to make circles on her pleasure button.

- Fuck me, Colin! Deeply! I need you there! Now! - Marg broke the kiss and drove her nails into his shoulders.

- Oh... okay... - he settled between her legs and spread them more.

Marg grabbed his dick and started moving her hands over it wanting to warm him up more.

- Oh my... Marg... - he closed his eyes and tilted his head back in delight.

- Enough of this, fuck me! - she pulled him to her and kissed him again.

Colin slid into her with a quick movement and immediately felt her clamp down on him. He moaned loudly and began to move. He didn't do it slowly, he was as hungry as Marg.

- Do you think our bean will be okay? - he asked, struggling to catch air.

- Of course not, don't be ridiculous. Fuck me! - Marg clung to his lips again. She put her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

Colin didn't say anything anymore. He carried out the request. He did not need to be told again. He moved quickly and entered her deeply. They both trembled in each other's arms. They felt they were close to fulfillment. They moaned loudly.

- Colin... I'm about to... - her back arched uncontrollably. She surrounded Colin's hips with her legs to pull him closer to her - deeper!

He entered her as deeply as he could. This made Marg scream and she reached the gates of paradise.

- Wow, that was fast - he stared at her without stopping moving inside her to give her even more sensations.

He didn't last too long. The sight of her trembling body and loud moans made him come deep inside her. He parted his lips and stared into her eyes reliving his orgasm. He fell back exhausted and sweaty on her still trembling body. He snuggled into her neck and kissed her lightly. He closed his eyes trying to catch his breath. They both slowly calmed down.

Marg stroked his back with her fingertips.

- Colin? - she asked quietly.

- Yes? - he answered still with his eyes closed.

- I have to go to the bathroom, my bladder is about to explode - she whispered.

- Haha, of course - he laughed, kissed her neck one last time and got off her laying down next to her.

With a smile, he watched Marg get out of bed, wrap a blanket around herself and go to the bathroom. He sighed loudly and rolled over onto his side and began to stare out the window. He was again consumed with overthinking. All the time these intrusive thoughts kept him awake. As if his brain was trying to tell him something. It was as if he didn't approve of what was happening in his life right now.

- Hi - Marg returned from the bathroom and lay down in bed again cuddling up to Colin's back.

- Hey... - he said quietly.

- How did you sleep today?

- Not good... and not the worst though... I’m not sure, and you?

- What happened? - she sighed.

- Just... I'm just upset about what happened yesterday...

- What happened yesterday? - she teased him.

- You know exactly what happened yesterday... - he sighed loudly.

- Can you remind me?

- Are you serious... Do I really have to? - turned his head slightly toward her and furrowed his brow.

- Yes, please.

- Fine... you know how... how did we have our little “fun”?

- Do you mean mine? You were just watching me… - she sighed.

- I didn't just watch... you know what happened before... before we even got to that part...

- You know what?! I was trying warm you up, but then you said “no”. I really tried my hardest. You just pushed me away. I wanted to pleasured you. I was so horny. Those fucking hormones! You didn’t even try to help me! You was just only “don’t touch me” - she started crying - I was so mad at you!

Marg sat down on the bed and moved away from Colin.

- I was trying to protect myself at that moment! And you just didn't give a damn about how I felt! - Colin also sat down.

- You were just tired! It's no big deal! - she shouted at him.

- And not just tired…

- And what else?!

- You really don't know why I didn't want you to touch me at all... - he whispered.

- So tell me!

- No... you'll get mad again...

- Tell me! - she slammed her fist on the quilt.

- No…

- Speak!

- Alright, fine…

- Go on! - she was at her limit.

- I don't want to tell you until you promise to stay calm - he said calmly.

- I am calm! Don't you see! - she shouted even louder.

- Please don't get upset with me for this.... it's just... it's really embarrassing... I warn you... - he watched her carefully.

- Gosh, say it… - she was a bit calmer.

- Do... do I really have to tell you about this? Won't you hate me for this?

- Colin…

- Okay... fine… but... but I told you... you have to promise to listen and not react until I'm done.... right?

- Okay… - she rolled her eyes.

- So... when I was younger... I... okay… so, I was very insecure and thought I was ugly and felt that no one could ever love me or think I was attractive... Then I entered puberty and my body started to change so much... and I really dealt with it badly.... I thought about many things related to my body, I felt that I was disgusting... I was ashamed of myself... - when he said this, he was not looking at her, he was looking at his hands, in which he was squeezing the quilt.

- Aha... that's it?! Colin, we fucked a million times! I saw you naked! This is nothing new for me! - she wasn’t calm, not at all.

- I know that, but it's still... - he sighed - still embarrassing for me to talk about it with you... Don’t you really understand? It's just still so hard for me to talk about it...

- Don't be afraid to talk to me. I’m here for you after all - she said a little more calmly.

- I know about it, but it's hard for me to say it now.... can you... can you be quiet and let me finish?

- I’m quiet - she rolled her eyes again.

- Okay... - he took a few deep breaths - can I... hold your hand?

- Okay…

He slowly took her hand, gripping it gently to make sure he wasn't squeezing it too tightly. He didn't want to hurt her.

He held her hand, letting his other hand also rest on her leg. He wanted to say something more, but couldn't get the words out. For a moment he watched them hold hands, enjoying the moment, which made him feel a little better.

- You are silent....then I have a question....

- Go ahead…

- Do you still love me? Do you still want to be my husband? Do you still want to have this child? I'm asking because you changed when we found out I was pregnant - she said, getting quieter and quieter.

- Of course I still love you... you know I do... and yes, I still want to be your husband... - he sighed quietly - as for the baby... honestly, I don't know why I act like I don't want to keep it... it's a very important thing for me, but I still don't know if I'm ready for it...

- You know… it's a little too late to say “I'm not ready for a baby” - she didn't look at him.

- I know... I realize that... but... I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it.... how do I even find time to take care of it, I barely have time for myself or you... - he looked at their hands.

- It's true, you don't have time for me... - she said with a sad face.

- I... yes... yes I know... I try to talk to you as often as I can... and I'm sorry if that's not enough....

- It’s not enough, Colin. I feel so alone…

- I know... I shouldn't have disrespected you like that when we found out.... I don't know why I did it.... I... I want to be there for you.... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do about it... or how to behave... - he squeezed her hand lightly.

- Maybe I should go back to my place... to my home... - she whispered feeling tears coming to her eyes.

- Do you think it would really help you... or maybe you just feel that I haven't treated you the way you deserve to be treated? I've noticed that you've been upset with me all the time lately. I don't know what to think about all this myself... I wish I could just focus on you and the baby, but I can't... - he felt Marg trying to pull her hands out of his grasp.

- I feel that... you don't want me in your house - she whispered.

- I... I... but I want you to be here.... I'm sorry if it seems to you... - it was hard for him to say it - as if I didn't want it.... I just think I've been focusing too much on work....

- "I've been focusing too much on work”... What about me? - she looked into his eyes.

- That's the problem... I know I need to focus more on you and the baby... but I'm just trying to make as much money as possible so that we can have some peace of mind once the baby is here...

- Can't work remotely sometimes? - she looked at him hopefully.

- I could... sometimes... but would... yes, I would like to take care of you - he smiled slightly.

- I would take care of you too, you know it well.

- I realize that you may feel worse. Pregnancy has just started... God, it still doesn't get to me... - he groaned in displeasure.

- Yes, I'm still learning all about it too... we can do it together…

- I would like to make you breakfast and make sure you take all your pills - he laughed.

- I’ll cook, no worries. And I always remember about my pills.

- Oh… but what if you forget or something happens and you accidentally take a double dose?

- Colin… I won’t…

- But we still can't be too sure.... What if we accidentally end up in the hospital because of something like this?

He tried to sound serious, even if it was a pretty lame explanation. He really wanted it to sound more like something that might happen, rather than overprotective.

- Colin… stop…

- I... I can't help it... I... I'm so worried about you... and the baby... I just can't help myself...

- My pregnancy has just started, at the moment everything is fine.

- I know... It can be good all the time.... but what if it doesn't happen? Should we just sit here like this and wait, instead of preparing ourselves... mentally?

- I'm a positive person and I know that everything will be fine.

- I know this... but still....

It seemed hard for him to explain why he was so worried about it. There was really no reason to worry, maybe he was just overreacting. But it made him worry even more. He didn't like the thought that something could go wrong. Is that why he has been acting so strangely lately?

- Okay, stop thinking. Just hug me - she extended her arms toward him.

- Okay… okay…

He did as she asked. He hugged her. He tried to stop thinking about all the possible bad things that could happen.

- Everything is and will be fine - she whispered in his ear.

- I know... but I just wish I could get rid of these feelings, intrusive thoughts... I wish I could focus solely on you - he closed his eyes and savored her closeness.

- I love you…

- I love you too…

Colin sighed loudly and snuggled tightly into Marg.

- I guess, I have to go to work...

- Colin, I know - she whispered.

- I'll be back soon.

Reluctantly, he released Marg from his grasp and got out of bed. He went to the bathroom.

Marg didn't answer anything. She lay down again and covered herself with the quilt, listening to Colin's every step. When he returned to the bedroom to get dressed, she watched him. She still didn't say anything. She was sorry that he had doubts about their relationship and the baby. She had no choice, but to be patient.

Colin kissed her gently on the forehead, then on the lips. He put his hand on her belly and smiled.

- See you soon my love.

She smiled at him and watched him leave the bedroom. Then she heard him close the door behind him and start the car. She was left alone again.

——————

Part one

Part two

Part four

@robnovetre

[booboodaddysblog]

Disappointment

Part four

Warnings: arguing, crying, drama, breaking up

Words: 5394

—————

As soon as he got to work... it started again... his intrusive thoughts. Mean, debilitating thoughts. No matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of them. Why his brain wasn't cooperating with him?

He entered the police station in an angry mood. He noticed that Mare was standing at the front desk talking to someone. He didn't give a damn. He didn't even say hello to anyone. All he dreamed of now was coffee and his office. He headed to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of a full pot, freshly brewed coffee. He reached into the cabinet for a mug and poured a hot drink, inhaling its wonderful smell. He was already about to go to his office when....

- Has culture left you, Zabel? - Mare blocked his passage.

- I don't feel like talking. Let me through - he said with irritation.

- And do you know what I don't feel like talking about?

- I'm rather not interested in that - he rolled his eyes.

- What is the matter with you? Do you miss sex? - Mare laughed.

- I'm not complaining about the lack of it - he tried again to walk through the door.

- You are behaving really strangely. I think I will inform the chief to talk to you and set you straight. Zabel, we here do not tolerate such behavior. You might be in a bad mood. Okay. I understand, but you are supposed to behave culturally when you see me talking to the wife of the chief of our police station.

- What? I didn't know it was his wife - he made big eyes.

- She is a terrible gossip. In addition, she is in charge of inspecting all government employees in the county. There is no problem for her to transfer someone to another county. You wouldn't want that, would you?

Colin swallowed his saliva loudly.

- Fuck... no... of course not. Sorry, really. We've worse days with Marg...

- With Marg... well, exactly. Why is she away from work for so long? - Mare raised her eyebrows in thought.

- I... she gets sick... you see for yourself what the weather is like - he shrugged his shoulders.

- Interesting... just explain to me why the attendance list says Marg is on indefinite sick leave. And best of all, your signature is there. Don't make a fool of me, Zabel - she looked at him menacingly and closed the kitchen door. Now no one could hear their conversation.

- Mare...

- Talk! What did you do Marg? Is she dead or what? Well, because... I guess she's not pregnant?

- Mare... I...

- Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? You're kidding me! Holly shit! I don't believe it! - Mare started laughing even louder.

- Mare, please be quiet - Colin tried to silence her.

- You came here a few months ago to help us with our investigation, and now you're going to become a daddy.

- I really didn't plan it - he sat down resignedly at the table and grabbed his head.

- Do you know what contraception is? - Mare also sat down at the table.

- Very funny - he looked at her and shook his head with dissatisfaction.

- How long has it been going on?

- But what?

- God, does it occur to you that you are going to be a father? - she sighed - what week is it? Or more simply. How long has Marg been pregnant?

- Hmm... it will soon be a month.

- A month? Wow. Okay... when did you find out?

- About two weeks ago.

- And you cheated on her with Roby when she wasn't in town... congratulations.

- How do you know? - he whispered.

- I know everything. Now I also know that Marg is pregnant.

- I beg... Mare... don't tell anyone. It's a fresh case, I don't want it to....

- Relax, I won't tell anyone. But the chief has already asked about Marg.

- Fuck... - he covered his face with his hands again.

- Okay, drink your coffee. In 30 minutes we leave. We need to talk to the owner of this factory again. Something seems to me that he transported the equipment somewhere himself to get the insurance money. It was definitely not a theft - Mare got up from the table - I'll see you in 30 minutes at the entrance - she left the kitchen.

Colin grabbed his coffee mug and quickly drank its entire contents. He shook his head to clear his mind and got up from the table. He put the mug in the dishwasher. He opened the kitchen door and looked out into the hallway. He looked around to see if anyone was around and left, quickly heading for his office. He didn't feel like talking to anyone anymore today.

——-

Colin returned home later than planned. It's always like this with Mare. She says they will finish at, let’s say, 6 p.m., but nevertheless they finish at 8 p.m. Then the report still has to be written. And so Colin enters the house at 9 p.m. Exhausted and dreaming of showering and sleeping.

He took off his coat and sat down on a chair by the door to take off his shoes. He was so tired that he didn't even have the strength to bend down. He straightened up and sighed loudly. He looked around the living room. Marg was not there. He began to listen. He heard the sound of water. She was taking a shower.

He got up with a groan and went to the kitchen to pour himself some water. He looked in the refrigerator and pulled out a slice of ham and a few pieces of cucumber. While eating it, he walked over to the calendar hanging on the wall. Marg scheduled pregnancy-related medical appointments. He liked the idea. He didn't have a head for dates, he always had to have everything written out in several places, otherwise he wouldn't be able to remember it.

He heard Marg leave the bathroom and go to the bedroom. He went upstairs and leaned against the doorframe. He watched Marg put on her pajamas. She sits down on the bed and starts brushing her hair. She was humming some kind of tune. She didn't realize Colin was watching her.

He walked over to her and sat down on the bed. She looked at him surprised.

- When did you come back? - she asked, putting the hairbrush down on the bed.

- About 20 minutes ago - he stood up and started taking off his clothes - I'm going to take a shower. Don't fall asleep without me.

He left the bedroom and went to the bathroom. Marg shrugged her shoulders at his behavior and went to bed.

Colin returned after 30 minutes and lay down next to Marg, but his back was turned to her. He was convinced she was asleep.

- How was your day? - she hugged his back and kissed him gently on the neck.

Colin was surprised by her sudden kiss, he was convinced she was already asleep.

- My day was... fine, nothing special - he sighed.

- Are you still mad at me? - she sighed too.

- No…

He didn't even hesitate to answer. It was obvious that he was not angry with her and had no reason to be.

- So one day I will be able to make a show for you again, and you will watch in awe? - she kissed his neck again.

He felt a bit surprised by her sudden mention, but he wasn't going to complain about it. It made him feel a little excited, but he decided to just keep his mouth shut and not say anything until she was done talking.

- Don't you want such a show again? - she sighed loudly and turned her back to him.

- What? No… I didn't say that…

He was confused as to why her behavior had suddenly changed so much. He wasn't sure why that was, or why she thought he didn't want that, when he absolutely did.

She turned to him again.

- So tell me, did you like what you saw? Me on the couch, touching myself, you in the chair across from me and watching?

- Y…yes… I…I enjoyed it... very much...

- If so, tell me more about it - she began to stare at him.

- Well… ummm…

He didn't expect her to ask him directly just like that. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He didn't want to say anything stupid, so he pondered his answer for a few seconds before speaking up.

- I… I… just liked the way... you made...you made yourself happy... and... and that made me want to join you so badly....

- So why didn't you join me? I asked for it so badly - she raised an eyebrow.

- I just ... I didn't know if you were serious!

He tried to defend himself, but he really regretted it. Now he really regretted not joining in. "Fuck" he said to himself in his mind.

- I invited you several times, and you sat like you were glued to the chair - she rolled her eyes.

- I knew that, but I thought you were joking! Why would you want me to join you when you wanted to do it with yourself. It was supposed to be a show! - he found it increasingly difficult to remain calm - Why are we arguing about such silly things?!

This was already too much for her. She slapped him in the face. She was furious.

- I asked you several times to help me, but you just sat there and drooled at the sight of me! Why are you playing dumb now?! And you think all this was stupid for me?! Stupid?!

Colin was frozen. He was really shocked by the sudden slap in the face and didn't know what to say. He must have really screwed up. He deserved it.

He just realized that she was completely serious at that moment. He looked at her and saw the rage in her eyes. He felt ashamed that he had messed things up like that.

- I was so fucking serious! And you fucked up, Colin!

- I know… I understand that now…

He was angry with himself, not only for being such an idiot, but also for missing such an opportunity. He dreamed of it, but screwed up, as usual.

- I really don't understand it - she said in a calm voice. She looked like she was about to cry - I hate being pregnant - she whispered as if only to herself.

- I was scared, okay... that I would do something wrong - he said in a sad voice - I thought... I thought... that... I wouldn't be too gentle....

- I just wanted to end it with you, that's all.

- Sorry, when I'm tired I don't quite get everything…

- I was so fucking serious and desperate! - she slapped him again - you really deserved that slapped!

He closed his eyes and was silent for a moment.

- Okay, I get it… - he finally replied - I screwed up, I really get it...

She stroked his sore cheek.

- You'll be fine. I just didn't know what punishment I should have come up with for you.

- P…punishment? - he asked about it, although he definitely knew what she meant, he wanted to hear her say it clearly.

- Yes punishment, you disobeyed me when I needed you so much, you just screwed up.

- But what kind of punishment?

He still pretended not to understand what she wanted to say. Even though he was fully aware of what she was most likely planning to do.

- Fine, I have an idea for punishment. From today, no sex for two weeks. I will give myself pleasure when the urge strikes me. Without your participation, of course. I won't even inform you that I did it - she covers herself tightly with the quilt.

He felt a little uneasy about the idea. He wasn't sure if he would be able to survive two weeks like this. His head was full of thoughts, but he kept them to himself. He didn't want to act like he was begging her to change her mind.

- Well… fine… let it be…

- Just “fine”? Really? - she looked at him with suspicious eyes.

- What else should I say? I said “fine”, which means I accept your punishment.

- So the conclusion is that you don't care about sex with me at all?

- That's not what I said... - he said quickly, not wanting to start another argument with her - I only said that I accept your punishment, I didn't say that I don't care about sex with you, Marg....

- Explain, because I don't understand you. Be more specific, Colin… - she rolled her eyes.

- I just mean that… that I will survive these two weeks without sex. I just wanted to say that your punishment will not be.... will not be so bad for me.

- Won't it be that bad?!

He quickly realized that he had said something pretty dumb.

- I just meant that... I... I think I can manage without sex for two weeks... - he moved away from Marg fearing another slap.

- So what do you do when the urge for sex strikes you? - she asked curiously.

- Well, I just... I don't know... - he had to think for a moment before answering - I'll just masturbate and that's it - he shrugged his shoulders.

- Just masturbate… okay… - she nodded.

- What else should I do? I know you'd probably prefer it if I asked you to join me, but I don't know if I'm ready for that...

He felt really bad about it all. He didn't want a repeat of the "show”. He felt like he was always letting her down, like he wasn't proving himself as her fiancé. Maybe he shouldn't have asked her to marry him so soon...

- Okay, you are right. I didn't expect anything else. Sorry - she hugged his arm - you were thinking. What's the matter?

He didn't like to talk about his feelings and thoughts. Although, maybe this was a good opportunity for him to be completely honest about how he felt. Besides, he was stewing so much inside, and he was beginning to feel that he probably shouldn't keep so many thoughts to himself anymore. Maybe that's why he was always so stressed, he just kept too many thoughts locked up inside, and that wasn't good for him.

- Won't you be angry if I tell you?

- Go on, no worries.

- Well... it's just... I feel that... that, I'm not ready for this whole relationship... something is missing... and I feel that I made a mistake by proposing to you so soon... - at this moment, he preferred to stare at the ceiling rather than at her.

- Excuse me?! - she opened her mouth in surprise.

- I’m sorry, Marg! It's not that… that… I don't love you, I really love you... but I feel like...

He tried to say something sensible, but honestly had no idea why he felt that way. It was just something he felt deep inside. He couldn't explain it. He wasn't ready for such a serious step in his life. All these things made him feel confused and he started thinking about his previous relationship. About the failure and the breaking of the engagement.

- You don't want to be with me?! I don’t understand! - she was so furious that she was close to slapping him again.

- I just...

He was so worried now, he knew it would only get worse. He mentally prepared himself for another corporal punishment, if he failed to calm her down.

- Marg! I love you, I swear!

- You idiot! Did you forget, that I am pregnant?! You assured me that you would never leave me! Did you forget what you said?! Oh my god! - she started crying and screaming.

- Yes! I know… but…

He knew he was already making the situation worse, but he just couldn't back down now.

- I will still be there for the baby... just... just not as your fiancé, or husband... I'm not fucking ready!

- So as who! - she cried loudly, no longer knowing what to do. She felt like running away, now.

That's exactly right. He really meant it. He knew she wouldn't like it at all. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He couldn't stifle it in himself any longer. He really felt bad. So he just had to accept the consequences of his words.

- I’m sorry, Marg…

- What the fuck! Colin! I trusted you! I was so stupid!

- Just hear me out!

- Oh, what’s wrong with you?!

- You just have to understand me! It's not what it seems! I am not leaving you for another woman or anything like that! I just feel that I am not ready for such a commitment! Maybe it has to do with my previous relationship or childhood! I don't know!

- You are already an adult! Don't go back to your childhood! Grow up finally! In eight months you'll be a father, damn it! Zabel! - she shouted at him - If you're going to act like this all the time, I'd really rather become a single mother!

Her words hurt him, even though she was probably right. He shouldn't have behaved that way toward his pregnant fiancée. He had to accept responsibility and grow up, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everything was happening too fast. It was as if he had just been thrown into the highest level of adulthood without having experienced it before. And now he had to deal with it all. But she was right, it wasn't his ex's fault or his childhood. It was his fault. He longed to change, but didn't know how.

- Are you going to stare at me now and not say anything? Believe me, you are making your situation worse.

- No, you are right... I make myself look like a pathetic person.... I feel sorry for myself... I’m sorry, okay? I'm sorry...

His voice was breaking a little. He couldn't believe he had gotten himself into this situation, but now he was in too deep to back out.

- I really don't know what to think about all this. You really disappointed me, Colin - she said in a sad voice.

- I understand, I really understand...

He felt all the consequences of his honesty. He did not like such situations. He didn't like feeling this way. It was bad with him mentally and physically. He tried to say something.

- But please, you have to understand... I really care about both of you, I just....

He didn't know how to finish this sentence. He just didn't want her to be angry with him. But he knew it was too late for that.

- Just what?

- Please, you must try to understand my point of view... It's as if I skipped a whole phase of my life and now I have to deal with its consequences... and I'm not even sure I want to do that…

- So what do you want?

- I don't know... I care about you.... I just... I'm not sure I feel ready for this whole marriage thing. I know I'm not a child anymore, but looking at my life, I feel I still haven't grown up. But I still want to be around you. I want to help you raise our child.

- In that case, do you want to break up with me? - she felt anger sweep over her again.

- Yes…

He finally said the word he had been afraid to say for so long. It had happened, and it was too late to take it back.

- Fuck you, Colin! - she got out of bed, picked up some clothes and left the bedroom. She went downstairs.

He heard her start to get dressed and look for her car keys. She cursed him loudly.

- Wait! Marg! - he yelled after her when he heard her trying to open the door and leave.

He ran down the stairs, stumbling.

He couldn't believe he had fucked up everything like that. He now had terrible remorse. It was almost midnight. What an idiot he was! He hoped there was still a chance to fix it, but he knew that was highly unlikely.

- What?! Let me go! You've messed everything up enough!

- Don't leave yet, we still need to talk...

- About what?! You said you, were breaking up with me! - she tried again to open the door.

- Yes, but let me explain it a little more...

- Very funny! What do you want to explain? You have said enough!

- Well... as I said, I will be there for you and the baby, but as a friend, not as your husband...

- I don’t need a fucking friend! I need a boyfriend and then a husband!

- I'm sorry... but I don't want to be your husband... at least not yet...

- I'm leaving, really, enough… - she grabbed the handle and opened the door.

- Wait! Please! Please don't get in the car and drive away! Don't leave me! - he felt desperate, he didn't want her to leave him like this.

- I really don't have anything more to say…

- Are you going to just leave me like that?

He felt hurt that she decided to leave him so suddenly. He felt he was about to cry. It didn't occur to him what had just happened. He didn't want to believe that the conversation would end like this. He tried to grab the door handle and stop her from leaving.

- What do you want from me! I'm really tired, you know? Your behavior, Colin... I just can't take it anymore! I've been patient... but now... I'm leaving...

- Please! Please… just don’t go! I don’t want to lose you! Marg!

His fingers kept touching the door handle, trying not to let her just walk away. He didn't want to give up just yet.

- But you did…

- Yes, but... but I would still like to stay in your life! I screwed up! I know, I made a mistake! I don't know what got into me! I’m fucked up!

- I’m really confused, Colin. I need to think about it... but not here - she sighed - I don't want to be here anymore.

- Wait! Where are you going to sleep?

- My home.

- Are you staying there until you make a decision?

- I don’t know, I really don’t know.

- Well... I hope you won't stay like this for too long... I will miss you...

- I don't know if I will miss you. You disappoint me, Colin. It really hurts. I don't want to stress anymore. I'm pregnant, I can't stress.

- But… I… just…

He felt desperate again, and the thought of her being alone in her house, without him, made him feel even worse. He felt tears coming to his eyes.

- You just fucked up, Colin - she whispered and started crying.

- Fuck! Hey! Hey… don’t cry… please! - he was crying too.

- How? How do you want me to don’t cry? It’s impossible!

He was beginning to feel even more distraught, not only at the thought of losing her forever, but also at the sight of her upset in such a state, he was a terrible person for exposing her to all this.

He pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

- I know... I'm sorry really...

- I'm tired of all this...

He held her in a hug, not letting her go yet.

- I know... but please stay. I can't just let you go...

- You don't want me, I get it. You don't have to repeat or explain it to me.

- No, no… no I'm the one who messed up here... it's me, it's my fault... but we can fix it. I beg you to stay - he tried to fix it, he couldn't just end it.

- I want to go to sleep, I’m tired. But I don’t want to sleep with you. You’re sleeping on the couch - she released herself from his grasp.

- Please don't make me sleep on the couch...

- You did it to yourself, it wasn't me.

- I know, but... can't we spend one more night together? - he looked at her with pleading eyes.

- No.

- Please…

- I said no!

- So please, just one last hug!

- Don’t be ridiculous! You’re pathetic! - she moved upstairs to his bedroom - don't you dare come to me at night. You sleep on the couch, remember!

- I know…

He felt absolutely terrible about the idea of sleeping on the couch, it was as if she had completely pushed him away. He felt like he no longer had her trust, if not her love at the moment.

- Good night, Colin - she locked the bedroom door behind her.

- Good night, Marg… - he said with a slight defeat in his voice, watching Marg close the door. He then walked over to the couch to lie down on it, alone, feeling like the worst person ever - I love you, Marg - he whispered and closed his eyes.

———

Marg woke up at 5 a.m., sighed and got out of bed. She did not feel nauseous today. She felt pretty good, but she didn't get enough sleep. She went quietly to the bathroom. She saw that Colin was still sleeping downstairs. Being in the bathroom she cried, she couldn't stop it. She went back to his bedroom and started packing her things. She didn't want to leave anything behind. She quietly went downstairs and looked towards the couch where Colin was sleeping. He was breathing quietly. She was sorry that it didn't work out for them after all. She hoped they would get along somehow. Colin was apparently not ready for such a big step in his life.

She walked to the door and began to put on her shoes and coat. She heard Colin move.

He was still trying to fall asleep when he heard her moving. He opened his eyes and saw her getting dressed to go out.

- Are you going somewhere? - he asked, his voice sounding a bit tired. He was still half asleep, but he was beginning to feel that something was happening.

She did not answer right away. She merely looked at him with sad eyes.

- I'm going back to my house. I won't bother you with my person.

- But... - he got up quickly from the couch and walked over to her. He wanted to stop her - wait, we're not done talking...

- I don't want to talk to you right now. I want to be alone now, in my house. Please let me go.

- Can't you at least listen to me?

If only she had listened to him, they probably could have fixed it. That scenario in his mind couldn't look that bad, could it? He didn't want to accept that everything was over between them, at least not yet.

- Colin, please… - she felt she was about to cry again.

- Marg, please…

- I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to cry anymore - she began to cry while covering her face with her hands.

- Marg, oh no, please don't cry…

He felt terrible that he had put her in such a state. If only he had been more careful and not said such things, it probably could have been fixed. But no, he just had to screw it all up! He was willing to do anything to make her stop crying like that, she couldn't suffer because of him.

- I can't figure it out, I just can’t… I don’t understand you anymore!

A few tears also flowed into his eyes as he saw her break down. He really regretted not keeping his mouth shut. And the worst part was that he took the subject of their breakup as a priority, thinking only of himself. He just wanted to prepare her for the idea, not immediately pursue it. But, of course, it was clear that this did not go his way at all…

- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.... - he said, desperately trying to comfort her.

- Please, let me go - she walked to the door.

- Marg, please don't go... - he begged. He walked to the door to block it from her and not let her leave.

- Please… - she was still crying, but forced herself to look at him.

He tried to hug her. He really hoped she would let him. There was nothing left for him to do but try to comfort her with his arms. He knew that this always worked on her. But he didn't know if it would be effective this time, too.

Marg stepped back, seeing Colin's intentions. She shook her head negatively.

- Please, don't touch me - she whispered.

Colin noticed what she was doing as she tried to push him away. She didn't even want him to comfort her... He really messed it up...

This sight was breaking his heart. Her tears and her closed off attitude... she was done with him... He felt his heart shatter into pieces. He felt weak, tottering on his feet. He was speechless.

- I have to go. I want to be alone in my house. I want to think it all over. I want to rest.

- Marg… please… I…

- No, Colin. Please understand. I want to be alone now - she pressed the handle and opened the door - I'm not leaving forever. As I said, I have to think it all over - she stepped outside. She looked at him with weepy and sad eyes - goodbye, Colin…

She left, closing the door in front of him.

He stared blankly at the door. He stood there, not believing what had just happened. Marg was gone, she had really left him. She pushed him away.

He started breathing deeply, not really able to catch air. It was as if he started to panic. He needed to calm down. He went to the window, tilted the curtain slightly and watched Marg put her things in the car.

It still didn't occur to him what had just happened. He found himself in the worst possible scenario.

She got into the car and started it. He watched as she slowly backed out of the driveway. He felt like running after her, but his legs were heavy. His body refused to obey him. He sat resignedly on the floor and covered his face with his hands. He cried, unable to stop it. His world had collapsed. It was happening to him again. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't really happening. This was some kind of nightmare. She had really left him and was about to start living her own life without him. He knew that he had absolutely no one to blame for his failure and stupidity except himself.

He got up from the floor and walked quickly to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a beer from it. He opened it and drank the entire contents of the bottle. He moved the bottle away from his mouth and looked at it. He shouted and threw it with all his strength on the floor. Glass splashed all over the kitchen and cabinets.

- Fuck! Fuck!

————-

@robnovetre

Part one

Part two

Part three

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #mr march funfic #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #colin zabel #mare of easttown #james march smut #james patrick march #fanfic

[booboodaddysblog]

Disappointment

Part three

Warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, arguing, crying, slapping, drama

Words: 3242

———

Colin woke up and looked at his watch. It was 4 in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Marg lying next to him. She was sleeping peacefully. Her lips were slightly parted. He was tempted to touch her lips. He was already about to do so when he remembered what time it was. He couldn't wake her up after all. There was nothing left for him to do but watch her beautiful face and listen to her quiet breathing.

He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't understand how she could sleep so peacefully after what happened last night. He himself didn't know what it was. An argument? Or maybe it was just... the fear of letting her down. He wanted to give her so much of himself... and yet he screwed up. On top of that, twice more during that evening.

Colin hardly slept at all that night. His thoughts were running wild, trying to find a solution to the situation. Everything he thought about was negative. He was immersing himself and putting himself in a bad mood. He knew this was not good. He knew that nothing good would come out of this. It would only get worse and worse.

He desired to be happy. He desired to have a family. And that was going to happen in the near future. But... the longer Marg stayed in his house, the worse he felt. He was used to being alone, to living alone. He did not feel at ease now. On the other hand, however, he felt good with the knowledge that when he returned from work someone was waiting for him. It's an amazing feeling when you open the door and a loved one hugs you. All the stress and fatigue floated away as if by magic.

His thoughts were one big mess. He didn't know how he should deal with it. He was beginning to understand why his ex had left him. Probably because he acted the same way he does now with Marg. She had given up and left. She was really trying to save their relationship. She tried to talk to Colin... but he was closed off and focused more on work than his personal life. With Marg it's different, she understands his work... they work together. She can see what it all looks like. Stress, fatigue, thoughtfulness... trying to solve another case at work…

He looked at Marg again. She closed her mouth. Maybe she could feel him moving. It was almost 5 a.m... maybe they could try to fix their mood a little... just how... he looked at her again and smiled. He got up gently from the bed and stood in front of it. He started to go under the quilt from the side of Marg's feet. He hoped that what he wanted to do would succeed. He sighed quietly at the sight of her legs. He lightly kissed her left calf and moved higher. Suddenly he froze, Marg moved slightly and rolled over onto her back, still immersed in sleep.

- "That's even better” - he thought and licked his lips.

He started kissing her thighs, inch by inch. This was what he needed. He felt a hunger. He gently moved his hands over her smooth skin. He felt Marg move slightly and sighed in her sleep. Maybe she was dreaming of something really nice.

He was already really close to the spot between her thighs. He closed his eyes and kissed her there. He tried to spread her thighs slightly, but felt resistance.

- What are you doing? - said Marg in a sleepy voice, lifting the quilt to see who was disturbing her sleep.

- I... got hungry - he smiled innocently.

- And you claim to find something to eat here? - she said yawning.

- Of course - he whispered and moved his index finger across her stomach, sliding it lower.

- Okay, let it be - she sighed and lay on her back draping the quilt over Colin again. She pressed his head against her stomach. She heard muffled laughter.

He separated her legs and inhaled the sweet scent of his favorite place. He purred. He kissed her sweet and juicy pink lips. He felt her tremble. Her body was very sensitive to his touch, she felt everything with redoubled power. He sucked on her lips. He had to hold her legs because she wanted to escape him.

- Colin, oh God I can't stand it! - she moaned loudly and grabbed Colin's hair, forcing him to come out from under the quilt.

- What happened? - he asked surprised while licking his lips and wiping his nose with the top of his hand.

- I can't handle it. What you're doing is too strong for me. I almost peed myself - she whispered the last sentence.

- Oh... then how can I please you if you don't want to feed me? - he said pretending to be offended.

Marg pulled him close and pressed her mouth into his mouth. She kissed him deeply and passionately.

- I love your lips - she returned to exploring the inside of his mouth with her tongue.

An uncontrollable moan escaped his lips, and they were both breathing heavily. Colin, not knowing what to do with his hands, began to move them down her body. She wriggled under him feeling what he was doing. She moaned into his mouth and trembled even though he hadn't done anything yet.

- Oh you are so hot and wet - he moved his fingers over her clit - and hungry... - they kissed continuously.

- Yes... yes... Colin... - she moaned into his mouth.

- Yes?

He slid one finger inside her, with his thumb he continued to make circles on her pleasure button.

- Fuck me, Colin! Deeply! I need you there! Now! - Marg broke the kiss and drove her nails into his shoulders.

- Oh... okay... - he settled between her legs and spread them more.

Marg grabbed his dick and started moving her hands over it wanting to warm him up more.

- Oh my... Marg... - he closed his eyes and tilted his head back in delight.

- Enough of this, fuck me! - she pulled him to her and kissed him again.

Colin slid into her with a quick movement and immediately felt her clamp down on him. He moaned loudly and began to move. He didn't do it slowly, he was as hungry as Marg.

- Do you think our bean will be okay? - he asked, struggling to catch air.

- Of course not, don't be ridiculous. Fuck me! - Marg clung to his lips again. She put her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

Colin didn't say anything anymore. He carried out the request. He did not need to be told again. He moved quickly and entered her deeply. They both trembled in each other's arms. They felt they were close to fulfillment. They moaned loudly.

- Colin... I'm about to... - her back arched uncontrollably. She surrounded Colin's hips with her legs to pull him closer to her - deeper!

He entered her as deeply as he could. This made Marg scream and she reached the gates of paradise.

- Wow, that was fast - he stared at her without stopping moving inside her to give her even more sensations.

He didn't last too long. The sight of her trembling body and loud moans made him come deep inside her. He parted his lips and stared into her eyes reliving his orgasm. He fell back exhausted and sweaty on her still trembling body. He snuggled into her neck and kissed her lightly. He closed his eyes trying to catch his breath. They both slowly calmed down.

Marg stroked his back with her fingertips.

- Colin? - she asked quietly.

- Yes? - he answered still with his eyes closed.

- I have to go to the bathroom, my bladder is about to explode - she whispered.

- Haha, of course - he laughed, kissed her neck one last time and got off her laying down next to her.

With a smile, he watched Marg get out of bed, wrap a blanket around herself and go to the bathroom. He sighed loudly and rolled over onto his side and began to stare out the window. He was again consumed with overthinking. All the time these intrusive thoughts kept him awake. As if his brain was trying to tell him something. It was as if he didn't approve of what was happening in his life right now.

- Hi - Marg returned from the bathroom and lay down in bed again cuddling up to Colin's back.

- Hey... - he said quietly.

- How did you sleep today?

- Not good... and not the worst though... I’m not sure, and you?

- What happened? - she sighed.

- Just... I'm just upset about what happened yesterday...

- What happened yesterday? - she teased him.

- You know exactly what happened yesterday... - he sighed loudly.

- Can you remind me?

- Are you serious... Do I really have to? - turned his head slightly toward her and furrowed his brow.

- Yes, please.

- Fine... you know how... how did we have our little “fun”?

- Do you mean mine? You were just watching me… - she sighed.

- I didn't just watch... you know what happened before... before we even got to that part...

- You know what?! I was trying warm you up, but then you said “no”. I really tried my hardest. You just pushed me away. I wanted to pleasured you. I was so horny. Those fucking hormones! You didn’t even try to help me! You was just only “don’t touch me” - she started crying - I was so mad at you!

Marg sat down on the bed and moved away from Colin.

- I was trying to protect myself at that moment! And you just didn't give a damn about how I felt! - Colin also sat down.

- You were just tired! It's no big deal! - she shouted at him.

- And not just tired…

- And what else?!

- You really don't know why I didn't want you to touch me at all... - he whispered.

- So tell me!

- No... you'll get mad again...

- Tell me! - she slammed her fist on the quilt.

- No…

- Speak!

- Alright, fine…

- Go on! - she was at her limit.

- I don't want to tell you until you promise to stay calm - he said calmly.

- I am calm! Don't you see! - she shouted even louder.

- Please don't get upset with me for this.... it's just... it's really embarrassing... I warn you... - he watched her carefully.

- Gosh, say it… - she was a bit calmer.

- Do... do I really have to tell you about this? Won't you hate me for this?

- Colin…

- Okay... fine… but... but I told you... you have to promise to listen and not react until I'm done.... right?

- Okay… - she rolled her eyes.

- So... when I was younger... I... okay… so, I was very insecure and thought I was ugly and felt that no one could ever love me or think I was attractive... Then I entered puberty and my body started to change so much... and I really dealt with it badly.... I thought about many things related to my body, I felt that I was disgusting... I was ashamed of myself... - when he said this, he was not looking at her, he was looking at his hands, in which he was squeezing the quilt.

- Aha... that's it?! Colin, we fucked a million times! I saw you naked! This is nothing new for me! - she wasn’t calm, not at all.

- I know that, but it's still... - he sighed - still embarrassing for me to talk about it with you... Don’t you really understand? It's just still so hard for me to talk about it...

- Don't be afraid to talk to me. I’m here for you after all - she said a little more calmly.

- I know about it, but it's hard for me to say it now.... can you... can you be quiet and let me finish?

- I’m quiet - she rolled her eyes again.

- Okay... - he took a few deep breaths - can I... hold your hand?

- Okay…

He slowly took her hand, gripping it gently to make sure he wasn't squeezing it too tightly. He didn't want to hurt her.

He held her hand, letting his other hand also rest on her leg. He wanted to say something more, but couldn't get the words out. For a moment he watched them hold hands, enjoying the moment, which made him feel a little better.

- You are silent....then I have a question....

- Go ahead…

- Do you still love me? Do you still want to be my husband? Do you still want to have this child? I'm asking because you changed when we found out I was pregnant - she said, getting quieter and quieter.

- Of course I still love you... you know I do... and yes, I still want to be your husband... - he sighed quietly - as for the baby... honestly, I don't know why I act like I don't want to keep it... it's a very important thing for me, but I still don't know if I'm ready for it...

- You know… it's a little too late to say “I'm not ready for a baby” - she didn't look at him.

- I know... I realize that... but... I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it.... how do I even find time to take care of it, I barely have time for myself or you... - he looked at their hands.

- It's true, you don't have time for me... - she said with a sad face.

- I... yes... yes I know... I try to talk to you as often as I can... and I'm sorry if that's not enough....

- It’s not enough, Colin. I feel so alone…

- I know... I shouldn't have disrespected you like that when we found out.... I don't know why I did it.... I... I want to be there for you.... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do about it... or how to behave... - he squeezed her hand lightly.

- Maybe I should go back to my place... to my home... - she whispered feeling tears coming to her eyes.

- Do you think it would really help you... or maybe you just feel that I haven't treated you the way you deserve to be treated? I've noticed that you've been upset with me all the time lately. I don't know what to think about all this myself... I wish I could just focus on you and the baby, but I can't... - he felt Marg trying to pull her hands out of his grasp.

- I feel that... you don't want me in your house - she whispered.

- I... I... but I want you to be here.... I'm sorry if it seems to you... - it was hard for him to say it - as if I didn't want it.... I just think I've been focusing too much on work....

- "I've been focusing too much on work”... What about me? - she looked into his eyes.

- That's the problem... I know I need to focus more on you and the baby... but I'm just trying to make as much money as possible so that we can have some peace of mind once the baby is here...

- Can't work remotely sometimes? - she looked at him hopefully.

- I could... sometimes... but would... yes, I would like to take care of you - he smiled slightly.

- I would take care of you too, you know it well.

- I realize that you may feel worse. Pregnancy has just started... God, it still doesn't get to me... - he groaned in displeasure.

- Yes, I'm still learning all about it too... we can do it together…

- I would like to make you breakfast and make sure you take all your pills - he laughed.

- I’ll cook, no worries. And I always remember about my pills.

- Oh… but what if you forget or something happens and you accidentally take a double dose?

- Colin… I won’t…

- But we still can't be too sure.... What if we accidentally end up in the hospital because of something like this?

He tried to sound serious, even if it was a pretty lame explanation. He really wanted it to sound more like something that might happen, rather than overprotective.

- Colin… stop…

- I... I can't help it... I... I'm so worried about you... and the baby... I just can't help myself...

- My pregnancy has just started, at the moment everything is fine.

- I know... It can be good all the time.... but what if it doesn't happen? Should we just sit here like this and wait, instead of preparing ourselves... mentally?

- I'm a positive person and I know that everything will be fine.

- I know this... but still....

It seemed hard for him to explain why he was so worried about it. There was really no reason to worry, maybe he was just overreacting. But it made him worry even more. He didn't like the thought that something could go wrong. Is that why he has been acting so strangely lately?

- Okay, stop thinking. Just hug me - she extended her arms toward him.

- Okay… okay…

He did as she asked. He hugged her. He tried to stop thinking about all the possible bad things that could happen.

- Everything is and will be fine - she whispered in his ear.

- I know... but I just wish I could get rid of these feelings, intrusive thoughts... I wish I could focus solely on you - he closed his eyes and savored her closeness.

- I love you…

- I love you too…

Colin sighed loudly and snuggled tightly into Marg.

- I guess, I have to go to work...

- Colin, I know - she whispered.

- I'll be back soon.

Reluctantly, he released Marg from his grasp and got out of bed. He went to the bathroom.

Marg didn't answer anything. She lay down again and covered herself with the quilt, listening to Colin's every step. When he returned to the bedroom to get dressed, she watched him. She still didn't say anything. She was sorry that he had doubts about their relationship and the baby. She had no choice, but to be patient.

Colin kissed her gently on the forehead, then on the lips. He put his hand on her belly and smiled.

- See you soon my love.

She smiled at him and watched him leave the bedroom. Then she heard him close the door behind him and start the car. She was left alone again.

——————

Part one

Part two

Part four

@robnovetre

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #colin zabel #mare of easttown #evan peters fanfic #fanfic #evan peters fandom #james patrick march #love #sadnees #lonlyness

[booboodaddysblog]

Happy Easter to everyone 🥚🐣🥚🐰

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #evan peters funny #american horror story #quicksilver #kai anderson #xmen #colin zabel #james patrick march #bunny #run boy run #evan peters hot #easter

[booboodaddysblog]

Ohhhh myyyyy 🤤🤤🤤

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #evan peters funny #american horror story #quicksilver #kai anderson #xmen #hooooooly shit #evan peters hot #so hot omg #im hungry #new york #mamma mia

[booboodaddysblog]

Disappointment

Part two

Warnings: smut, self pleasure, teasing, cursing, misunderstanding, disappointment, crying, arguing

Words: 4275

——

Why is it so hard to get along in a relationship? One person is silent, the other wants to talk. This is not how it should be.

Colin is a quiet and calm person. He has trouble talking about what he feels, what hurts him. He keeps everything inside, all his pain. He blocks out when something doesn't go his way in his personal life. He is suffocating. This could also be a sign of fear, fear of what might come. He is afraid that he might not be able to cope.

His silence makes people turn away from him. They stop trusting him, and as a result he is left alone, alone with himself and his thoughts.

——-

When he went downstairs he found the living room in semi-darkness. Only the skipping lights from the TV screen illuminated the room. Marg was sitting on the couch, holding the remote control in her hand and switching programs in boredom, not knowing what she wanted to watch. He watched her from a distance and slowly approached. He sighed deeply giving himself encouragement. He knew that this evening would not be easy.

He sat down on the couch next to her and looked at her. He was not interested in what was happening on the TV screen. His attention was focused only on her. He watched her face and the dancing colors reflecting off the screen on her smooth skin.

Marg felt his gaze on her. She looked at him and smiled slightly. She returned her gaze to the screen.

He returned the smile and spoke quietly.

- When will there be pizza. I'm really hungry - wasn't exactly what Marg expected, but he tried to somehow alleviate their gloomy mood.

She looked at him again, this time she raised her eyebrows and replied as if in a huff.

- I received information that the delivery of the pizza will be delayed. They are having some problems, but they should bring it back soon - she sighed quietly.

- Oh, so that's the reason for the delay.... Okay… hmm… so… in that case, can I ask you a simple question? - he looked at her with concern.

- Of course, baby, ask - she smiled at him.

- I was just wondering... would you mind turning off the TV? I'd rather spend this time just with you, do you mind?

He also smiled gently, looked at her with hopeful eyes, thought that spending time just the two of them would help fix the little misunderstanding they had before.

- Sure. There's nothing interesting on this TV anyway. Just commercials - she turned off the TV and put the remote on the table in front of her.

He watched her as she put the remote control down on the table. His body was really tense and he could feel his heart beating quite fast as he tried to calm down. He couldn't help but look at her.

- Would you mind if I asked you to give me a little hug? - he whispered.

- Honey, you don't even have to ask. You can hug me whenever you feel like it - she smiled gently.

- Thank you…

He gently hugged her and laid his head on her chest. He wrapped his arms around her. His heart beat faster again. He began to breathe deeply. He inhaled and exhaled. He really needed this now. He only hoped that this evening would already be peaceful. He dreamed of nothing more than cuddling and relaxing after a hard day. He didn't want to mention the unpleasant incident in the bathroom.

- I want you to know that I am not angry with you - she said and started stroking his soft hair. She inhaled the scent and closed her eyes. She sighed, hugging him.

- You’re not? Really... you really aren’t?

He looked at her with a little more hope in his eyes. She wasn't angry with him and that maybe she understood how he felt. He also hoped that he could relax and forget about the unpleasantness. His body relaxed slightly.

- Of course, dear. I understand that you are tired. I want you to feel good, I won't force you to do anything - she kissed him on the nose and smiled broadly.

He returned the smile. Suddenly he felt excitement, her body close to him and her scent still tempted him, but he decided to keep it to himself, for now. He hugged her even tighter.

Suddenly they heard the doorbell ring.

- Oh, it's probably the pizza delivery guy - she got up from the couch and went to open the door.

Reluctantly, he released her from his embrace.

She put the pizza on the table.

- I invite you to the table, dinner is ready - she laughed and sat at the table, waiting for Colin.

He got up from the couch and walked over to the table, sat down and took a deep breath again. He was still trying to get rid of intrusive thoughts. He wanted to somehow make up to her for his bad behavior.

- I would like to apologize to you. I admit that I was a little.... I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. I know that your hormones make you feel more excited....

She was already about to put a slice of pizza on her plate when she looked at Colin and raised her eyebrows.

- Finish the sentence, please. What's on your mind?

She finally put a piece of pizza on her plate and looked at Colin, waiting for an answer.

- I just wanted to say that I'm a little apprehensive about all of this. The fact that I'm going to become a father. It's all happening so fast... I just feel like.... I don't know... I feel like I'm really selfish and I don't know if I'll be able to behave differently... - he took a piece of pizza and took a bite. He was afraid to look at Marg - I just want to make sure it's not a burden on you, or that you feel like I'm pressuring you.... Or that I'm not enough for you... - he finally looked at her, waited for a reaction.

She looked at him and chewed a piece of pizza she had just bitten into. She wondered what to answer. Finally, she swallowed and answered.

- I don't know why you are still upset about what happened in the shower. Forget about it, because nothing happened. It's all because of my hormones. I feel arousal all the time - she bit into the pizza again - I just thought of that... and maybe when you can't satisfy me.... I'll just manage on my own - she said with her mouth full and smiled.

- W…wait, y…you… you want…

He froze and felt his heart speed up again. He simply could not believe what she said. She said it so calmly... he was so confused... his brain had surges on the coils. He suddenly realized that he had a recently bitten piece of pizza in his mouth. Instead of chewing it, he sat with his mouth open and stared at Marg.

She also stopped eating and started looking at him.

- What, you don't like that I want to masturbate when you won't be around to satisfy me?

- I…

He swallowed a slice of pizza. He was still a bit thoughtful imagining how Marg was pleasing herself. He tried to find the right words to answer her.

- No, n…no… I'm not saying I don't like it.... just... why don't you ask me for help? Instead of... do it yourself...

- You usually have the strength to satisfy me. I only want to masturbate when you don't have the strength and are tired. Like today, for example.

She took another slice of pizza from the box and bit into it.

- But I still… - he sighed quietly.

Maybe she was right, just trying to accommodate him when he felt tired or was too exhausted to have sex with her. It only still bothered him that she just took matters into her own hands... especially if there was another way to do it.

- But what if just.... what if...

- What if what? - she said with her mouth full.

- What if I... what if I help you with this...

His face began to redden slightly when he said this. He could feel the tension coming off him. He tried to overcome the fact that sometimes she could manage without him.... but on the other hand... he wanted to help her... doing it together....

She nodded her head as confirmation.

- Sure. But since you're tired today. I feel like playing with myself, if that's not a problem for you. I can still feel the excitement. If I don't have an orgasm, I won't be able to sleep. I need to get rid of this tension - she bit into a piece of pizza again - If you want you can watch me masturbate - she said with her mouth full.

- But…

She made him speechless again. His heart was beating even faster now and he was beginning to feel even more excited. The way she said it... with such lightness... as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her.... He felt very insecure at the thought of doing this together, but it sounded really attractive to him.... But he couldn't decide what he thought about it, excitement and tension were taking over for now.

- But what? - she said again with her mouth full.

- I was… I was just thinking…

It was really hard for him to find the right answer. What she was proposing to him was so dirty and he felt very excited, but his own thoughts were starting to confuse him. At this point, he no longer knew what would be better. Offering to help her, or just sitting and staring with his tongue hanging out. And he knew… he knew that he would be drooling like a puppy.

- What’s on your mind, Colin? Tell me.

- Y...you... understand that what you just suggested is very.... very hot, right?

He finally said it with a big stutter and an even redder face. He felt the embarrassment take over him, but at the same time he felt excited about the idea now. He just didn't know what to do at the moment.... he was in shock. All he was able to do now was stare at her with his mouth open. He didn't control it anymore.

- So… Colin… would you like to watch? - she smirked at him.

- Y…yes, I... I would... - he whispered.

He still sounded a little uncertain. His body felt even more tension. When she said that.... his body was no longer listening to him. He felt that his pants had become really tight. He felt like taking them down. He tried to hide it, but he didn't want to act like a teenager just starting his sex life. But that's exactly how he felt.

- Hmm... tell me more, darling. What do you think about this idea? Did you swallow your tongue or what? I know how you can talk dirty. Don't pretend to be such a saint now. Make some effort - she smiled sweetly at him.

- To be honest... - swallowed his saliva loudly - I think it's a great idea and.... I think I will enjoy it very much… - he grunted - I can't wait.

It wasn't quite what Marg wanted to hear.

- Okay… Great, I'm very happy. Let's finish eating. We'll go back to the living room. I'll sit on the couch and start touching myself... and you'll sit opposite me, in the armchair... and watch me pleasure myself - she smiled broadly at him.

Colin began to choke and cough. Tears began to roll into his eyes. He hit his chest several times with his fist to start breathing normally again.

- O…okay… n…now... really n…now? - he looked at her with wide-open eyes.

Once again, he began to imagine the whole situation. The very conversation made him feel that he couldn't stand it any longer. His cock hurt, it was so swollen. He grabbed it through his pants and squeezed it lightly. He trembled and closed his eyes.

- Of course, there is nothing to wait for!

- Oh... okay... I... for now I will just watch....

When he said this, he suddenly felt a little more confident in doing it… watching her... as strange an experience as it may seem... he never...

He knew that watching her would be hot and it would be something new for him... He just had to calm the excitement in his head and focus on what she was going to show him. He began to breathe deeply.

- Are you okay, Colin? - she walked over to him and grabbed his hand to help him get up from the table.

- Yeah… yes, I’m fine - he kissed her hand.

- In that case, let's go to the living room - she led him toward the armchair - sit down and relax - she leaned over him and kissed him softly. She stepped back, licked her lips and bit them lightly.

He watched her with his eyes wide open. He was afraid to blink to avoid missing anything. The way she bit her own lips and licked her lips... it made him start to lose his mind. He found that he had to hide the feeling, otherwise his excitement would only increase before anything had a chance to start. Now it was all about Marg, not him.

Marg walked over to the couch and sat down on it. She started right away, did not wait for anything. She began to touch her breasts. She massaged them and slowly slid her hands lower and lower. While she was doing this, she looked into Colin's eyes and watched his reactions.

He definitely liked what he saw. Her subtle touch... but as she began to move her hands farther and farther down, his stomach began to twist slightly as his excitement grew in him. He looked at her in awe, and she didn't take her eyes off him either.

Suddenly she stood up and slipped off her sweatpants along with her panties. She tossed them on the floor. She sat down on the couch again and spread her legs. Colin was shown a beautiful view. Her pink, beautiful pussy was glistening from her sweet juices.

- How do you like what you see? - she asked.

She started to stagger her fingers in small circles around her clit. She licked her lips and began to moan. She accelerated the movements of her fingers.

- I love it... this is just perfect... everything about you is just... so beautiful.

He struggled to keep the sounds of pleasure from leaving his mouth. He felt like touching himself, but he was like under a spell. Marg cast a spell on him. He couldn't move. He felt so excited that he could lose himself in one touch from her.

As she massaged her clit, with the fingers of her other hand she began to massage her pussy entrance. She gently dipped one finger into it and pulled it out.

- Talk to me, Colin - she whispered.

She began to moan loudly and closed her eyes. Her breath hitched.

- U…um... w…what should I... would you like to hear any particular?

He felt his breathing stop. He still felt tempted to just touch himself and even join her, but he still had a certain level of self-control. He preferred to do nothing and say nothing. He felt safer that way.

- Yes... yes... tell me how I should touch myself. I will do anything you want!

She plunged one finger into her pussy and moaned really loudly. She tilted her head back in delight. Her body arched its back. She slid her finger in and out. All the while she massaged her clit.

- Hmm… well…

This evening and this whole situation, made his brain completely stop cooperating with him. Now Marg was giving him the ability to control her movements, but he couldn't say anything. Having momentary power over her body was very tempting. He was so tempted by it that he didn't know what to do say.

- Ohhhh... Colin tell me how should I touch myself! - she moaned loudly again. This time she looked deeply into his eyes.

- Y…you s…should try…

He felt his heart beating fast. He never felt shame in these matters. Usually he didn't say it, he preferred to show it... he felt strange... but he had to do it for her, after all, she herself asked for it.... He began to speak, not sure if he could hide his blush. He was glad that the living room was quite dark.

- Y…you should try to use more fingers - he hoped it was just what she expected.

- Oh yes! Yes! - she slid another finger inside her. She cried out in delight. Her back arched again. While doing this, she kept looking into his eyes - Colin start touching yourself. I know you feel like it - she moaned.

- But… - he was speechless again.

What was wrong with him. He sighed quietly once again. It seemed that she really wanted to see him do it, while she was doing it too. He felt very embarrassed, he didn't have that much courage compared to her, but he couldn't deny that she was right and he wanted to do it too.

- Do it Colin... just like me... give yourself pleasure in front of me!

He felt a great temptation to just do it, only there was something he didn't want to admit... he was ashamed... Finally he let out a deep breath and just had to admit it now.

- But what if I’m not…

- You’re not that what? - she moaned so loudly.

- I’m not that good as you are…

Marg stopped touching herself for a moment and looked at Colin with a raised eyebrow.

- Don't make fun of me. I know you know how to make yourself happy. Show me, please - saying this, she looked deeply into his eyes and bit her lip.

- I'm not making... I…I'm serious, I'm not that great...

Marg was very tempting to him. The way she looked at him, the things she said to him, and especially the things she did... But he didn't want her to know.... At least not yet, it was something important to him and he wasn't ready to show her something so intimate to him yet.

- Take off your pants and show me how the hell you touch yourself! - she moaned really loudly, she was close to orgasm.

- I…

His mind was now a complete mess, the amount of excitement and pleasure flowing through him was almost unbearable. He still didn't know why he was so nervous. After all, he knew how to do it, but he didn't want to show it to her so soon, he felt very ashamed.

- Oh my god! Oh... I'm so close! Take off your pants, pull out your dick and fuck me, Colin! Now!

- After all... a…after all, you were supposed to do it yourself... m…me now... god…

- Damn you, Colin! - she shouted at him.

- What did you say? - he looked at her confused.

Colin felt thrown off balance by her sudden change of mood.

She didn't say anything anymore. She stopped paying attention to him. She focused completely on her pleasure. She moaned loudly, her whole body trembling... her back arched hard....

- Oh my god!!

She cried out loudly and reached fulfillment. She closed her eyes and lay down on the couch. Her breath hitched...

- Fuck you… - she whispered to Colin, who sat with his mouth wide open… shocked…

Colin sat shocked, not knowing what to say. He wasn't able to move... when suddenly he moaned loudly and felt his pants become wet... he came... he didn't even touch himself... He quickly grabbed a pillow and covered his pants. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

- Fuck... - he whispered to himself.

- What happened? Is that what I think just happened? - she looked at him and shook her head in displeasure - oh really fuck you - she covered her eyes.

- Is... is that.... is that all you can say... - he said calmly.

He felt a little hurt by this, her reaction was quite harsh.

- Yes… you disappointed me… - she got up from the couch. She picked up her clothes from the floor and started toward the stairs upstairs - I’m going to take a shower and then sleep - she went upstairs, leaving him alone.

He sighed, drew in and let out the air loudly. He felt so many different conflicting emotions after that. He realized that he had screwed up again, but he still wanted to talk to her about it later.... And he felt that he had let her down... again... This made him feel even worse.

——-

- Good night Colin. I love you - she said while being halfway up the stairs - will you come to bed soon? - she asked quietly without looking at him.

Hearing her words, he felt even worse. She was still so loving and sweet. But her voice was sad and uncertain. He felt that he didn't deserve to sleep with her that night.

- No... I will sleep on the couch - he said quietly.

She was silent for a while. Finally, she looked at him. He was still sitting in his chair with his head lowered. He was not looking at her.

- I understand... good night... love... sleep well - she went into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Colin heard the click of the lock... she locked the door....

- She locked the door… wonderful… - he groaned quietly and covered his eyes with his hands.

He felt guilty about what had just happened. He felt tragic. He slowly got up and walked over to the couch. He sat down on it and immediately lay down. He grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it. He knew that since she had locked the door it meant that he had screwed up all over. But he still hoped that somehow they could get along.

He sat down abruptly on the couch and looked around the living room, thinking what he should do.

- I have to do something now - he said to himself to give himself some encouragement.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she leaned against it and slid to the floor. She began to cry quietly. What had happened was really important to her. She wanted to show Colin that she was not ashamed to do something like this in front of him. It was to be more of a pleasure for him than for her. She felt stupid and remorseful now. Maybe she had done too much.

Resigned, he lay down on the couch again, his body was exhausted and his mind in a big mess, he felt so guilty about it. He didn't know what to do about it all. He felt like going to her but at the same time he didn't want to disturb her. He couldn't just lie here.... He slowly got up from the couch and slowly walked upstairs and stood in front of the bedroom door.

Marg heard a quiet knock on the door. She got up from the floor and opened it. She looked at him with sad eyes.

- Marg… I’m so so sorry… I…

He felt so bad that he had brought her to such a state. She didn't deserve it. He was such an idiot and just couldn't understand why he was like this. She was so kind and understanding to him, and he just.... he screwed it up...

- Can I come in?

- Yes… - she whispered and she moved so he could go inside.

He slowly entered the room, his heart was beating so fast and his breathing was so heavy. He felt that he had to control himself now. He didn't know what to do about the situation anymore, but he had to try.

Marg looked at him and knew he wanted to start a conversation.

- I want to sleep now... I'm very tired. I don't feel like talking.... We'll talk tomorrow - she was silent for a while - will you sleep with me? I don't want to be alone... - she said quietly.

- Sure... but… I'm really sorry about all of this... - he walked over to the bed and slowly lay down next to her.

She grabbed his hand.

- Good night... I love you - she whispered and closed her eyes.

- I love you too… - he sighed and closed his eyes.

He tried to fall asleep, but he didn’t stop overthink about every single thing that happened that day. He still felt guilty and ashamed by all that had happened, and didn't know if he would be able to sleep at all that night.

——————

Part one

Part three

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Wish on Disney+ on April 3😂

Evan as Simon in Wish Disney😂

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Disappointment

Part one

Warnings: kissing, teasing, disappointment

Words: 4020

—————

Marg woke up terrified. She was breathing heavily, her whole body was covered with droplets of cold sweat. She was alone again. She had a bad dream again. She looked at the other half of the bed. She had hoped to see Colin there, plunged into a sweet sleep, but he was not there. Again on the bedside table on his side she noticed a note. She didn't feel like reading it. She was afraid to get out of bed because it meant nausea, and she didn't want to suffer hug the toilet again. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep again. Sleep was not coming. She decided to move slowly toward Colin's bedside table. She reached for a piece of paper. He drew a heart for her and wrote a short letter inside.

"Dearest,

I have become accustomed to the sight of your beautiful face whenever I open my eyes. It brings a smile to my face. You have no idea what emptiness I feel when I have to get out of bed and go to work. I hope I didn't wake you up this morning. I dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. I hope you didn't hear that. Please be careful with the glass. I was cleaning, but I might have missed something. Be careful.

See you soon. I miss you,

- Colin”

- Oh, stupid hormones! - Marg broke into tears and hugged Colin's letter to herself.

She reached for her phone and began to write him a message. She didn't know how to start...

"Hey, I read your letter. You made me cry again. You are so sweet. Hormones make everything even worse. You have no idea how sad I am without you. I wish I could be close to you. I miss you..."

She pressed "send”

She noticed that Colin immediately read the message and began to write back.

"Hey, I'm sorry that I made you cry, but I hope they are just tears of happiness. Did you sleep well? My sleep was light, I could feel you moving in the night and saying something. Are you all right? How do you feel?"

"Honestly... I slept very badly. I've been plagued by sleep nightmares, this is supposedly normal in pregnancy. Currently I feel fine because I haven't gotten out of bed yet. I'm afraid to stand up because I know how it will end."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry. What did you dream about?”

"This is a dream I had not for the first time. I'm in the forest, alone, I can't find the exit and I'm panicking."

"Oh yeah, the one you always dream about when you were a kid... I'm sorry about you having nightmares again, my love, but I wish I was there to hug you and comfort you.”

“I know you’re at work now, sorry to interrupt you.”

"Hey, you don't have to apologize, I love talking to you and I really don't mind. If you need to talk, I'm here for you."

She smiled when she read the message. It made her heart warm.

“Yeah, I need you to be my comfort person, and you already are.”

"I am happy to be such a person for you. I will always be there for you, no matter how bad your day is, I will always listen and give you everything you need."

Again, she felt tears coming to her eyes.

“I need you now. I feel so alone in this big bed.”

The smile on his face disappeared after reading this message. He sighed sadly.

"I know, baby... I really wish I was there with you to at least give you a hug... You know I can't work remotely right now. But I will try to change it somehow.”

“Okay, let’s not talk about it. Do you have a lot of work today?”

He didn't write back for a while, so there was time to finally get up and hug the toilet. Today wasn't as bad as a few days earlier. It was as if she was starting to get used to it.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, she looked tired, and after all, she had just gotten out of bed. She sighed and shook her head in displeasure. She washed her face with cool water and returned to her bedroom to change into comfortable clothes and check if Colin write her back.

“I'm actually pretty busy today, I need to go to a meeting and afterwards I have to check on some reports..."

“Mare is good for you today?”

“Haha, yeah, at least I don't have to go out on the field, so I'll be fine for the day.. and at least I'm done soon, I have the evening after work free. Can’t wait to see you.”

“Oh really? I’m happy you will rest. You deserve it. Okay, I won't bother you anymore. I'm going to go eat breakfast. See you soon.”

"Okay, see you soon.”

She read Colin's messages one more time and sighed. She went downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast.

———

Colin spent almost the entire day at his desk organizing documentation, completing reports. He felt mentally and physically tired. Working in front of a computer, however, was not as fascinating to him as working in the field. Still, he was a little sorry that he had to stay at the police station. He covered his face with his hands and rubbed his eyes. He moved his chair away from the desk and stood up to stretch his legs. He walked around the office a few times. He looked out of the window, the weather had not changed since the morning. Rain, rain all the time. That's probably why he felt so bad. He was exhausted. He would have been happiest to go to bed as soon as he reached home.

He wondered what Marg was doing. He picked up his phone and looked at the screen. It was after 6 p.m. It was time to go home. He straightened up and stretched, heard his spine adjust.

- Yes, I definitely sat too long today - he summed up his physical state. He yawned and began to organize his desk.

When he parked in front of the house, he saw that the light was on in the living room. Marg was probably relaxing on the couch or watching something on TV. He got out of the car and walked into the house. He took off his coat and put his briefcase on the floor by the door. He walked into the living room to greet his beloved.

Marg was lying on the couch and reading a book. She didn't hear when he entered the house. He leaned over and looked over her shoulder, watching what she was reading.

- Good evening, Marg - he whispered in her ear.

- Oh God, Colin! - she sat up frightened and grabbed her heart - I didn't hear you come in. This book absorbed me so much.

- Nothing happened - he laughed - what is this book about?

- I was in the store and bought a book about pregnancy. How fascinating all this is. I've never been interested in it. When I finish, you can read it too.

- I'd love to - he smiled - it's been a long time since I read anything other than police files. And such reading is not very pleasant and interesting.

Marg stood up and hugged him tightly.

- I'm glad you're back. I don't like to be alone - she whispered into his neck.

- I missed you very much - he closed his eyes savoring this closeness.

- How was your day at work? How do you feel?

He kissed her forehead, sighed deeply and rested his forehead against hers.

- My day was fine, work was okay. And to be honest, I'm quite tired, but I'm glad I'm finally home with you.

She looked at his eyes.

- Oh you look tired, my baby.

- Yes, I really look tired, don't I? - he sighed.

- Yes, my love, your eyes look tired. Have you been sitting in front of the computer for too long? - she stroked his cheek.

He nodded when she stroked his cheek.

- That's exactly what I've been doing, and I don't think I have much energy left in me, anyway, although I'm trying my best to hide that fact, but yeah, I'm pretty damn tired...

- Oh, my baby - she hugged him again - maybe shower, together? Hmm?

- That’s good idea. But I'm hungry, why don't we eat something?

- What do you want for dinner? I’m thinking about ordering pizza or sushi. What do you think?

- Honestly, pizza sounds like a damn good idea right now - he smiled.

- Okay, let’s order pizza - she kissed him softly - but first shower - she smirked.

He raised an eyebrow as he smirked at her too.

- Are you saying this as my girlfriend, or as my future wife? - he smiled - you know, I wouldn't mind a quick shower together, sounds fun.

- Let’s say, future wife. But anyway I’m still your girlfriend. I want to take care of you, my teddy bear - she kissed him.

- In that case, I'm glad that my girlfriend still cares about her future husband and makes sure he's comfortable - he smiled and kissed her back- and who knows, maybe she's looking for happiness with her future husband during that shower?

- Hmm? Happiness? What’s on your mind? - she smirked.

- Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about, my future wife - he chuckled quietly and leaned in to kiss her again - you're trying to seduce me now, are you?

- Seduce? Always.

- Well, I can't say that you failed in your mission to seduce me.

- Oh, I feel that you’re so hungry - she moaned softly.

- Mmm, very much so…

- I thought you’re tired - she smirked and she put her hand on his stomach and began to move it lower and lower.

His breath hitched when she put her hand on his stomach and began moving it lower.

- I…It's true... I'm tired... v…very.... - closed his eyes.

- I can feel it - she licked her upper lip and looked at the place where her hand had stopped. She clenched it slightly - Something tells me that your pants have become tight.

- Yes… someone is very perceptive.... - took a deep breath - I’m starting to get slightly uncomfortable, if I'm honest....

- Yes, I can even feel it. He’s so big and hard - squeezed his clothed dick again, and she saw as he closed his eyes - do you remember… that I promised you to pleasure you? I’m so hungry right now, Colin… - she kissed him deeply and bit his lower lip lightly.

He started breathing hard as she squeezed his still clothed dick. The deep kiss made it hard for him to stay calm.

- U...uhmm... yes, I remember.... y...you promised... b...but... d...do you think we could wait a little while we finish eating? I...I’m really hungry…

She began to massage his bulge in his pants in circular motions. She felt him tremble with every touch of her hand. She felt Colin's breathing grow heavier, his breath hitched. She sighed in pleasure.

- In that case, what do you want to do first?

His breathing was heavy and intermittent as soon as she started massaging his bulge, and he could hardly form words when she touched him like that.

- I...don't know... - he trembled and grunted quietly, trying to remain calm - m…maybe we'll take a quick shower first, and then think about what to do next?

- Oh, but your bulge is so hard. Oh baby! What should we do with this? - she began kissing Colin's neck, and did not stop massaging his bulge in his pants.

He let out a loud moan as she kissed his neck and massaged his bulge.

- I…I'm sorry, I…I can't think...

His leg began to twitch involuntarily, and he began to breathe heavily as she did this to him.

- Please, stop... and let's just go take that shower.

- Ohh baby, you make me sad. Don't you want me? - she bit him lightly on the neck.

- I... of course I want you... it's just.... - he grunted and took a deep breath - why don't we take a good shower first, have dinner, and then talk about what we both want in the bedroom?

- Oh okay, let it be. Let’s take this shower. I promise to be a good girl, I won’t touch your dick during the shower - she kissed him lightly on the lips, smiled and grabbed his hand leading him away from the bathroom.

- Okay, just don't tease me and try to excite me... - he laughed nervously and followed her, because he knows how she can be when they are in the bathroom.

- Oh honey, I'll be good I promise.

- Okay, I'm holding you to your word, so don't try to play with me - he sighed - let's get this shower over with, shall we?

- Okay, my love. But I already feel that my panties are wet, I’m so wet Colin. I need you soon inside me. I can’t wait - she licked her lips and began undressing to enter the shower - don't look at me like that, get undressed and jump in the shower - she laughed.

- J...just stop talking about it.... you're making it worse... - he sighed and took off his clothes, then stepped into the shower and stood there, waiting for her to join him.

- Well I don't say anything anymore. I love you - she stepped into the shower.

- I love you too - he sighed - I know I'll feel better after this shower - he smiled at her - could you help me wash my back?

- Oh my sweet bear, of course I will help you. It's a pleasure for me. Turn around - she took the soap in her hand and smiled broadly at Colin - my thoughts are dirty, but I pretend they aren't there - she started laughing.

After he turned around and she began to soap him, he sighed quietly and then spoke up.

- Do you promise to be polite during the shower and not try to excite me again? I prefer to play in the bedroom.

- You are the one who keeps talking about it. I’m a pure angel right now. I hide my horns for later fun in bedroom. No worries, my love, I won’t do anything what can make you excited.

- I hope… - he sighed.

He felt her hand sliding over his back as she began soaping him, he let out a slight moan as she moved closer to his neck.

- I'm being polite, just washing your back. I'm not doing anything wrong, right? I promised to be good and I am.

- Something is going poorly with this promise... - he groaned quietly - you are too close to my neck... - he sighed and closed his eyes.

He took a deep breath in and then violently let the air out, he couldn't even believe he was moaning at this point, the only thing he was thinking about was what she might do next.

- So you don't want me to wash your neck? - she moved her hand to his shoulder blades and so began to wash him there.

His body began to tremble slightly as she approached his neck again, he began to breathe a little faster and let out a small moan.

- Hmmm... you're already making me feel like I should take more showers with you...

- We can do it every day... if you want - she kissed his back - relax, you're very tense. Inhale and exhale, Colin.

He sighed deeply and took a few moments to inhale and exhale as she instructed him.

- Okay, yes... I feel better now... It's just... it's been a long time since I showered with someone else. Or maybe I just forgot how wonderful it can be. And I definitely didn't expect you to make me feel that way.

- As you wished, I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just washing your back. Relax, baby.

- Yeah... yeah, I know you're just washing my back. I just... - he sighed.

- Can I ask you a question? - she finished washing him and started soaping her body. She did it very slowly.

He turned to her and made big eyes and let out a small moan, she began to do exactly what he feared she would do in the shower.

- Yeah, sure, what is it?

- Why are you afraid to have sex in the shower? - she began washing her breasts and neck.

He was very tempted by what he saw. He had a desire to help her soap her body. But the way she did it only made him want to gloat at the sight.

- Honestly... It's because I wouldn't be able to last as long as I'd like... I just know it...

- It can be done quickly. Sex in the shower should be quick - she started washing her thighs.

His breath hitched when she started washing her thighs.

- Well... b…but... in this quick time I won't be able to give you as much pleasure as I would like.

- That's fine, I don't mind. In the bedroom we can play and savor each other's bodies longer - she put down the soap, picked up the showerhead and began to rinse the soap off her body. She closed her eyes.

His lips involuntarily parted, he moaned loudly.

- O…okay... I'll take your word for it... but please don't tease me again after the shower.... I can't stand it…

- Excuse me? You don't want to make love after dinner? - she opened her eyes and looked at him with big eyes. She began to rinse the soap off Colin's body.

- Not really... I guess it's just that I'm too tired and I doubt I'd be able to give you my full attention...

Colin's face turned red as she started to rinse the soap off his body now…

- O…okay... h…here, let me take over, o…okay? You've done enough...

- Oh sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'll get dressed - she stepped out of the shower, leaving Colin alone. She took a towel and went to the bedroom.

He began to feel even worse, as he could practically feel her annoyance coming from another room, and the feeling that he had let her down again wasn't very good either.

- No, no… w…wait... I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean it that way...

He began to call out to her, his voice was shaky as he spoke, he knew he had to make sure it didn't sound like he was begging.

- It's okay, nothing happened. I understand that you are tired - she returned to the bathroom to hang up the towel - I'll go to the kitchen and order a pizza. Take your time. See you in the kitchen.

- Okay, you're sure about that... right?

- I’m sure, baby. We can have sex another day - she left the bathroom leaving him alone.

- Yeah…

He sighed quietly and took a deep breath, still feeling as if he had let her down and had to make it up to her somehow.

He sat on the floor in the shower, he just needed a short break to try to think about something else and relax, he didn't know why, but her actions really shook his self-esteem as well.

- Fuck…

He covered his face with his hands and cursed himself in his mind for his stupidity. Why had he done something so stupid? He screwed up…

——-

After 20 minutes Marg looked in the bathroom. She was concerned because Colin had not come to the kitchen for so long.

When she entered the bathroom she saw Colin standing in front of the mirror shaving his beard. He was still naked, with only a towel wrapped around his hips.

- Honey... are you okay? - she moved closer to him - I ordered a pizza and they should deliver it in 10 minutes.

It took him longer than usual to shave, and his breathing was much heavier. His hands trembled due to which he cut himself several times with the razor.

- Y…yes, I…I’m fine…

As soon as she approached him, he looked at her with a worried expression on his face. His heart and thoughts sped up. He was tense. The sudden change in his body language was like night and day compared to earlier in the shower, where he seemed more relaxed.

She looked at his sad face. It made her sad, too.

- I would like to apologize to you for my behavior. I think it's my hormones going crazy. Since I'm pregnant, I feel excited almost all the time... - she sighed - I shouldn’t have acted like that. Now I feel stupid. I know you're very tired. I'm sorry, Colin.

When he heard her apology, he felt stupid, he felt really bad. He felt remorseful that today he didn't have as much energy as she did. And he wasn't more open when she tried her best to make him feel good in the way she thought he wanted to feel.

- It’s okay… I should have been more flexible... And I shouldn't have just said all those stupid things. Tiredness makes me stop thinking... I should be... - he sighed, fell silent and returned to shaving.

- I understand everything. We have time for everything - she walked closer to him and hugged his back - I love you - she whispered.

- I…

He paused shaving for a moment and sighed quietly as her hands touched his back and he heard her whisper. He felt the warmth of her closeness, his breathing became heavier again.

- I love you too... I'm sorry for...

He fell silent and sighed deeply, trying to maintain control and not do anything he might regret later.

She wrapped her hands around his stomach. She continued to snuggle into his back. She sighed.

- Okay, I won't bother you. I'll go downstairs and wait for the pizza delivery guy. Come in a minute, okay? - she left the bathroom.

- Okay, I'll... I'll come down soon…

He sighed once again. The way he felt her touch on his stomach... it was too much for him. He knew that one look from her would push him over the edge, and he didn't know if he would be able to shake it off at this point.... He was afraid to look her in the eye after he pushed her away. Overthinking took control of him again. It was nothing positive.

The time when he was single made him weaned from having someone next to him, close to him. That he has sex at his fingertips. Before that, he had to try harder to have some pleasure. Now he has it all in one place and with one woman. Which is completely enough for him.

Slowly he began to have doubts. He was making Marg uncomfortable. She was sad, because of him. He didn't know how he should fix it. He knew that stress during pregnancy wasn’t good. He needs to get over it and start thinking again, tomorrow. It made absolutely no sense now.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and shook his head in displeasure. He turned on the water and washed his face. He got dressed and went downstairs.

———————-

Part two

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Behind the scenes with Evan 😂😏

Ariana Grande - we can't be friends (wait for your love) music video

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Behind the scenes with Evan and Ariana Grande - we can't be friends (wait for your love) 😻

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EVAN IN THE WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS BTS 🥹

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Evan at the Oscars 2024 🥰

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