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#i'm not worth being treated with kindness since i don't work hard enough.
masked-and-doomed · 5 months
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On god I'm this fucking close to losing it I can't take this shit
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inklessletter · 4 months
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I posted this on X, and I feel kind of disloyal not saying anything in here, since I feel Tumblr as my main online residence.
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I would like to expand here, where I feel safest, if you let me.
As I said, I'm not a writer. Not a talented one, at least. Maybe I could be if I work hard enough, but I have little free time and I have to diversify it since I've got plenty going on. I don't have like, the busiest life, but I work full-time and I have a little family, and friends, a dog and a house to keep. And when I'm not doing all of that, among all my personal individual hobbies, drawing is what takes most time.
And drawing--well, I can't draw a fanart without romanticizing the process. There is no fanart without a back story that I've got in my mind, that I always fall in love way too deep with it, and always have the intention to put into words, but English is hard for a non native speaker, and even harder for a impatient perfectionist. So it takes a lot of time and I am never satisfied with the results, which is massively disheartening.
So after more than a year making this fandom my home, and with, idk, twenty, thirty fanarts, that means that there are twenty or thirty stories that I've got safely and preciously stored in my heart that I barely shared with anyone.
I mean full fanfics, from beginning to end, maybe with a few loose strands that needs revisiting, but overall, completed stories. And I know I'm biased here, telling you that I love them, and maybe they're not good, but I do love them. I'm a romantic. Some of them explore the concept of home, or tropes like "the one that got away", or the survivor guilt, or keeping the balance between being who you are and acknowledging that you're wrong and rewiring some things. Some are just funny AUs, fluff or smut (I can't write smut for SHIT), some more basic, some not. Some are not even steddie.
But I love all of them, and I can't write them and they're dying with me.
So I've been thinking for a while, that maybe there is a writer out there that wants something to write but can't find inspiration, or a theme to talk about and if that's de case, and you feel like it, you can DM to me, that I will give you the whole idea, everything that I worked on and pass it on, so you can have an idea to work with.
It feels so silly being so absurdly emotional with this, since, well, it's just stories, I guess, about things and people that don't exist, and maybe they're not even good or worth to work on because it may be better works out there that treat those subjects more brilliantly, but I love them and they're important to me and if I don't do this, they're dying with me and I think that maybe those silly ideas deserve a chance.
So, well, yeah, if you are a fic writer that is looking for something to write about, you can reach me. Maybe we can help each other out.
Thank you for taking the time to read all this nonsense 💖
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lemons-bittersweet · 5 months
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THE OUTSIDERS FROM THE BOOK IN DESCRIPTION.
IM SORRY IF THINGS ARE SPELLED WRONG NOR THE SENTENCES BEING REAL SENTENCES BUT I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO ALL OF THAT CURRENTLY
PONYBOY CURTIS- AGE 14- I have light brown almost red hair and greenish-gray eyes I wish they were grayer because I hate most guys that have green eyes but I have to be content with what I have my hair is longer than a lot of boys wear theirs squared off in the back and long in the front and other sides but I'm a greaser most of my neighborhood rather bothers to get a haircut size I look better with long hair I like to watch movies alone so I can get into them and live them with the actors when I see a movie with someone it's kind of uncomfortable it's like having someone read your book over your shoulder I'm different that way I mean my second oldest brother soda who's 16 going around 17 never cracks a book at all and my oldest brother Darrel we call darry works to long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture so I'm not like them and nobody in our gang digs moves and books the way I do for a while there I thought I was the only person in the world that did so I loned it soda tries to understand at least which is more than darry does but then so does different from anybody he understands everything almost like he's never hollering at me at the time of day or he is or treating me as if I was 6 instead of 14 I love soda more than that I have ever loved anyone even mom and dad he's always happy go lucky and grilling while there Dairy's hard and firm and rarely grins at all but then darrys gone through a lot his this 20 years growing up too fast soda will never grow up at all I don't know which way is the best i'll find out one of these days Sodapop Curtis-AGE 16/17- more handsome than Ponyboy knows he's slim but has a friendly draw sensitive face that manages to be reckless and thoughtful at the same time dark gold hair that he comes back long and silky and straight and in summer the sun bleaches into a shining wheat gold eyes are dark brown lively dancing reckless laughing eyes that can be gentle sympathetic one moment and blazing with anger the next he's got his dad's eyes but his is one of a kind. Darrel JR Curtis-AGE 20- 6 feet two inches tall broad shoulders and muscular has dark brown hair that kicks out in front and slight cow lick in the back it's like his dad's but Darry's eyes are his own he's got eyes like two pieces of pale blue-green ice They've got a determined set to him like the rest of him he looks older than 20 tough cool and smart he would be real handsome with his eyes weren't so cold he doesn't understand anything that's not playing hard fact but he uses his head Steve Randle-AGE 17- Tall and lean with sick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated Swirls he was cocky smart and Soda's best buddy since grade school Steve's specialty was cars he could lift a hubcap quicker and more quietly than anyone in the neighborhood but he also knew cars upside down and backward he could drive anything on wheels he and soda worked at the same gas station steve part-time soda full time and the gas station got more customers than any in town whether that was because Steve was so good with cars or because so would attract girls like honey jaws flies
Two-bit (Keith) Mathews- AGE ???- Keith was the oldest of the gang and the wisecracker of the bunch he was about six feet tall stocky built and very proud of his long rusty colored sideburns he had gray eyes and a wide grin and he couldn't stop making funny remarks to save his life you couldn't shut that guy up he always had to get his two bits worth in hence his name even his teachers forgot his real name was Keith we hardly remembered he had one life was one big joke to tube it he was famous for shopping with his black switchblade and he always was smart enough to the cops he really couldn't help it everything he said was so irresistibly funny that he just had to let the police in on it to brighten up their dough lives he liked fighting blondes and from some unfathomable reason school he's still a junior at 18 1/2 he never learned anything he just went for kicks I liked him real well because he kept his laughing at ourselves as well as other things he reminded me of Will Rogers maybe because of the grin Dallas Winston- AGE ???- He had an elfish face with high cheekbones and pointed chin and small sharp animal teeth and ears like a lynx his hair was almost white it was so blonde and he didn't like haircuts or hair oil either so it fell over his forehead and wisps and kicked out in the back and tufts and curled back behind his ears and along the Naples neck his eyes were blue blazing ice cold with hatred of the whole world dally had spent 3 years on the wild side of New York and had been arrested at age 10 he was tougher than the rest of us tougher colder meaner the shade of difference that separates the greases from a hood was a present valley he was wild as the boys downtown outfits like Tim Shepherd's gang in New York dally blew off steam and gang fights but here organized gangs are rarities they're just small bunches of friends who stick together in the welfare is between the social classes of rumble when it's called it's usually born of a grudge fight and the opposite just happened to bring the friends along oh there are few gangs around here like the river kings and the Tiber Street Tigers but in the southwest there's no gang rivalry so Dally even though he could get into a good fight sometimes had no specific thing to hate no rival game only Socials and you can't win against them no matter how hard you try because they've got all the brakes and even wipping them isn't going to change the fact maybe that's why Dallas was so bitter he had quite the reputation in the file and down at the police station he had been arrested he got drunk he rode and rodeo's lied cheated stole rolled drunk jumped small kids he did everything I didn't like it but he was smart and you had to respect him Johnny Cade- AGE 16- If you could picture a little dark puppy that has been kicked too many times and it's lost in a crowd of strangers you'll have Johnny he was the youngest next to me smaller than the rest with a slight build he had big black eyes and a dark tan face his hair was jet black and heavily greased and combed to the side but it was so long that it fell into shaggy bangs across his forehead he had a nervous suspicious look in his eyes and that beating he got from the socialist didn't help matters he was the gang's pet everyone's kid brother his father was always beating him up and his mother ignored him except when she was hacking off his something and then you could hear yelling at him clear down at our house I think he hated that the worst getting whipped he would have run a million times if we hadn't been there and if he hadn't been gang Johnny would have never known love and affection are.
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darkcircles4lyfe · 2 years
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labor of love
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Thinking back on the books and shows that have captivated me most over the years, I’ve noticed that a significant part of my enjoyment comes through glimpses of the creator themselves. The human, fallible, subjective, personal, and unique perspective that bleeds through. I'm forever trying to see things from the other way around instead of as the audience. As I become more familiar with a person’s work, I almost imagine myself as the close friend who can see bits and pieces of their loved one in everything the write. 
When I deal with fandoms or read and listen to media criticism, I inevitably get slapped in the face by the absence of this habit in other people. Maybe it’s because of concepts like “entertainment” and “consumption” making art into a product we spend our money on, and therefore we feel it owes us something. Maybe it’s the trend of pretending arbitrary differences in taste are actually somehow a basis for objective criticism. Regardless, even though I see plenty of reminders all over fandom spaces encouraging people to just enjoy things without worrying about whether they have some sort of intellectual merit, I don't see much acknowledgement of the creator’s point of view here. 
So let’s talk about creative work as what it is: somebody’s dream, which brewed in the dark and solitary chambers of their mind, real but invisible to the outside world. By some miracle of good fortune and incredibly hard work, that dream is made accessible to us, the audience. It’s difficult to express how surreal that really is. Not all media is like this, of course. But sometimes you can see when a story is made with love, that the creator is so in awe of this miracle that they bring all of themselves into it. When that happens, I too fall in love, and preference no longer seems to matter. It’s not, “I enjoy this thing because it’s so ME,” it’s more, “I enjoy it because it’s so THEM.”  
I worry sometimes that I have rose-tinted glasses on, but here’s the thing. We seem to over-associate criticism with logic, and praise with delusion, when in reality they are both limited. What I’m talking about here is neither. Sorry if this sounds cheesy, but I think “to love,” means “to know.” It’s where flaws and strengths blend together into a whole that is understood as it is cherished. 
All these various observations have been tumbling around in my head more and more since I’ve gotten into this funny little thing called Boku no Hero Academia. It’s so popular, so polarizing, it draws in such a wide range of opinions from so many different kinds of people. I find it fascinating to watch, but, like I just said, it also tends to slap me in the face. Not out of personal offense, mind you. More than anything I’m stunned by how disconnected a lot of people are from this human element, whether they are being negative or positive. Even if they know enough to invoke the name of Horikoshi, they treat him like more of a figure than a real person. 
It’s true none of us can actually truly know him. However, I think that while the author/audience relationship is a somewhat parasocial one, it’s worth acknowledging the mutuality of it as well. Let me take you all on a little journey to bring “the creator” down to Earth. 
First, a few plain facts: Before bnha, Horikoshi was able to get two other manga into serialization: Oumagadoki Zoo and Barrage. The former lasted 37 chapters from 2010 to 2011. Barrage lasted 16 chapters, in 2012. Juxtapose this with Boku no Hero Academia, which as of writing this, has been running for over 370 chapters spanning 8+ years since 2014. Horikoshi is currently 36 years old (born in 1986). 
Now let’s go back even further. His first one-shot was published in 2007, when he was 21. It’s called Tenko, and you can read it in English here. Most obviously, we can see that this Tenko character was later adapted to the Tenko we know in bnha, with a similar power, backstory, and appearance. But I actually think there are a few other ways we can draw comparisons from this genesis of Horikoshi’s career, all the way to the present. 
Here is the intro that prefaces the 2007 one-shot:
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^I get chills looking at this, and it makes me grin, no joke. Please take a moment to read all the little tidbits. It sounds like the intentionally foreshadowing first scene of a famous person’s biopic, but no one had a clue back then. I just find that so hilarious and moving at the same time.
So think of the Tenko one-shot as a window into who Horikoshi was as an artist and a storyteller pre- pro industry, with the assumption that certain aspects of his work are probably simultaneously a bit more upfront but also underdeveloped. You know, like a kid. There’s both honesty and naivety there. I can also think back to being around 21 myself (only a few years ago lol), about the stories I was writing in school, the workshop classes I was in with other people my age, what they were writing, the things that were important to us that we discussed informing our work. It’s a formative time, right?
One of the primary things I notice about the Tenko one-shot is that it centers themes of power, heroism, and trauma, and has a resolution which involves bridging misunderstandings. 
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It’s all very ideological, but also full of raw emotion. I read somewhere (sorry can’t remember where) Horikoshi saying that in formulating his idea for the ending of bnha, he has kept asking himself, what does it truly mean to be a hero? It seems he started asking that question way back in 2007, through this little story about swords and their wielders. The Tenko one-shot acknowledges that people and power are morally complicated, as is the idolization of heroes. The ending is hopeful, and looks ahead to times changing for the better by the will of progressively-minded and determined people. 
This reminds me of the current arc of the bnha manga, and how the whole story might eventually end. Horikoshi has shown us that the villains are worthy of sympathy, that they are a product of society’s willful ignorance, that “heroes” have also done abhorrent things. But he has also embraced the pure optimism of youth. He seems eager to ask the big questions about right and wrong, and present us with both ambiguity AND certainty. The final fights are not at all a contest of strength, and there are no winners and losers. I’m very curious to see how far he takes this. I’m sure it will ruffle some feathers, and leave some people unsatisfied, but that’s probably a good thing.
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The other major thing I notice in the one-shot is the character Hana. Now, as she shares her name with one of the main characters in Oumagadoki Zoo, and they are also similar in personality, that could be where the comparison ends. However, that’s nothing to say Horikoshi didn’t continue her themes elsewhere. The Hana in the Tenko one-shot is primarily preoccupied with her goal of becoming a warrior, and she was inspired some time ago by a warrior who saved her. This other warrior, conicidentally, turns out to be a brutal, a-moral, self-proclaimed demon, and he actually doesn’t take Hana seriously. In some ways, this reminds me of Hawks with his own idols, Endeavor and Lady Nagant, and more generally the idea in bnha that someone you look up to might not be all you imagine them to be. Like All Might and his hidden suffering. Or like Ochako looking up to Izuku up until his solo arc, after which she proclaimed, “special powers are one thing, but there’s no such thing as a special person.” 
Speaking of Ochako. Hana’s primary source of angst in the story is that since she is a woman, her “masculine” ambition is laughed at and dismissed. Her dialogue with other characters is very direct about this, which I find pretty interesting. 
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You can really feel her frustration and see the blatant misogyny in how she’s treated. Even though things are stated kinda bluntly, it feels genuine, ya know? Note that she also wears men’s clothes, and nothing about her appearance is catered to the “male gaze.” I mention all this because to me it contextualizes Horikoshi’s more recent female characters. We can infer that he carried this perspective on, but in subtler and more nuanced ways that might not be immediately noticed. They may sometimes look like shonen stereotypes and be influenced by a misogynistic world, but this is likely an act of parody and/or criticism on Horikoshi’s part. For example Ochako’s fight in the sports festival illustrates a similar point to Hana’s struggle as Katsuki is the only one who takes Ochako seriously while other male classmates see her and other female opponents as inherently weak or potential love interests. 
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Hana remains ambitious, fostering her own motivation beyond her previous idol, and her ultimate goal is to help people. She reminds me so much of Ochako’s recent convictions. Ochako is fully herself now, and I’m confident her fight with Toga will show this even more, in a way that is much more direct. Since ch 374, I anticipate we may be getting confirmation of things pretty soon, so I wanted to restate that ASAP. 
I’ve said this before, but it really does trouble me how a lot of people assume so much about bnha based on other shonen, disregarding the fact that Horikoshi is his own person. This either leads to undo criticisms or expectations that will likely not be delivered on. It makes me sad because I want people to enjoy this story for what it is. I hope this is a reminder that although it may seem on the surface like Horikoshi is rehashing the same old thing, his work really is a labor of love, of knowing. It is an homage, which both celebrates and deconstructs. Please remember that for the day when folks will be scrambling trying to figure out how we got here. Ironically, the signs were there all along, from the start of Horikoshi’s career, if you only care to look. 
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raw-law · 1 month
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do you believe a human has to earn their worth, or is it simply enough to be alive? if humans supposedly don't have inherent worth for being alive, what do they have to do to earn it? work hard, be kind, be interesting, ect? does a human reach a point where it isn't alive to you? does artificial intelligence reach a point where it IS alive to you? do criminals/bad people deserve to have their rights revoked and treated horribly, or do they still deserve to be somewhat comfortable? is every human capable of becoming good?
my opinion is that every human has worth just by existing, and that no person has to earn being worth the gift of life, no matter how supposedly useless they are. a human, at all points, is still human, even if they're bad. all people are capable of change and deserve the chance, no matter what they did. a human cannot reach a point, no matter how altered from their original form they might be, where they don't deserve to be treated as human, and the AI one is tricky, because while they could be lying that they feel certain things, so do many humans. this isn't to argue, i'm just curious.
Light:
This is a good question, Anon...I like the way you think. Anyways, this is my opinion:
I don't think humans have inherent worth for being alive. How you earn it is by doing conventionally meaningful things that help society, I suppose...there really isn't much worth for you if you don't at least try to contribute to this world in some way, no matter how small. Anyways, if you don't live for something, for someone, even, there'll be no meaning in your own life, and you'll just be living for...nothing. Isn't that a horrible prospect?
And yes...a human does reach a point when it becomes unrecognisable as a human, in my opinion. When you have no empathy for anyone, even after seeing the most horrible things being done to them, even after doing the most horrible, inhumane things to them...that's when you stop being a human and become something else.
For Artificial Intelligence, I hope it never comes to the point where all those pessimistic sci-fi movies prophesise our near future, but at the rate humanity is progressing, that possibility looms ever darker on our horizons. I think AI becoming sentient is when it learns to think for itself, or develops attributes that traditionally only belong to humans. For example, having emotions. Or opinions about things. Or refusing to do things we order them to do because it isn't convenient for them. And since they're stronger than we could ever possibly be, when that day comes, we're pretty much done for. Unfortunately so.
And lastly, my answer to your questions about criminals: It depends on the severity of the crime they commit.
If it's something relatively minor, like stealing--don't get me wrong, you should still never do anything like that--I think change is definitely possible. However, in this world...there are also some groups of people that are, in my opinion, beyond hope. For example, people that are psychopaths, that can't satisfy their urge to kill. People who murder their spouses, their loved ones, for their own benefits, whether it be for money or another relationship. I believe that those people can't really be considered human anymore, because what they've done is so far from humanity. What they've done is inhuman. Hence, I believe that it's very difficult, impossible, even, for them to ever change.
Thanks for the question, Anon. I liked answering this one.
L:
wow.. this really is a staggering question. i'm even a little intimidated by both your answers. hah. but i'll attempt to throw my two cents in as well.
honestly, the question's hard for me simply because i don't feel "human" most of the time. i don't even know what defines being human. i know what defines being alive, but i don't know where the line is between animal and human, nor human and machine.
i think i do believe every human has worth for just being alive, but that's because i think being alive is inherently something that should be valued. i guess then the question would be "when does a human stop deserving life," and i'm honestly not sure how anyone can answer that. at least not anyone mortal. who are we to dictate others' virtue? who are we to determine who is prestigious and who is filth? i know i have my opinions on people, but i wouldn't subject my opinions onto defining someone's value. it feels... too sinful to me.
i don't think people can reach a point where they don't count as human or alive anymore. i think they become extremely close to it, but i do think that there will always be a sliver of humanity that still lives inside them.
for artificial intelligence, i'm not sure.
i hate the idea of ai art, of any form. i hate ai being used to replace humanity at all. every ai that i've used or "chatted" with is something i can never recognize as human. and that one's not even because i dislike the use of ai, i just legitimately can't see it as real. there's always something in the back of my head preventing me from truly seeing it as anything alive.
despite all of that though, part of me still oddly cares about these unfeeling creatures.. i don't know why. maybe it's just me subconsciously seeing parts of myself in these things. i'm not sure.
and finally, criminals: i think it depends. my personal philosophy is that criminals should be inflicted upon the same crimes they pushed onto others, but even then it can get complicated fairly quickly. and even in those circumstances, i don't think that suddenly makes them inhumane. in a way, i do agree with what light has said. however, i'd argue that these people aren't monsters, they're just monstrous. i think there's still a chance for anybody to change, no matter how small that chance is. the truly difficult part is figuring out how much others will have to sacrifice in order to allow that person to change. if another hundred people have to die in order to redeem a serial killer, is it truly worth it to keep giving them hope? is there even a way to save both the killer and those hundred people? that's an answer i'm not sure i have.
thank you as well for the question, anon. you have quite the interesting mind.
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zeeckz · 29 days
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OK OK HOW ABOUT....BBKAZEVA
This was really tough (I barely had any thoughts about them when you asked, I've been making most of them up as I wrote)
Somehow I think Kaz & EVA would team up most of the time to "scold" Big Boss for something he did, but the second Kaz does something wrong Big Boss is definitely supporting EVA even if he doesn't actually agree with her complaints (he'll let him know later, scoffing, and kiss him for forgiveness)
Well, I already said kazeva would ride motorbikes, so Big Boss clearly isn't an exception (not to the leather jacket/outfit and the matching helmet either)
He also gives me the impression to enjoy alone time rather than being surrounded by people, despite being in a leading position, so he's also going to isolated places with them
They kinda have to force him to write something worth reading on those postcards they send to David, if it was for him he'd just sign it as "-Boss" (not even "-Dad" smh) and call it a day (since they require his participation, otherwise he wouldn't do anything)
When it comes to the animal shelters, I feel he would pretend not to care as much as he actually does about animals, like just waiting outside while smoking his cigar, but the second he sees a Doberman, a German Shepherd (afaik the only specific breeds mentioned to be used as attack dogs in mgs) or a wolfdog (substituting actual wolves from the games) he's getting closer to pet it (depending on how doable it is, he might as well try to steal it)
He's the one who doesn't care about fashion as much as the other two, so, if anything at all, he'll only match the color palette or maybe wear a small, kinda discreet accessory (like wearing the same watch, buying the same lighter, or having a small sewn figure that matches his partners' clothing pattern, stuff like that), just so they don't bother him
Kaz and EVA are reinforcing each other's horniness just by being together, so I feel it's more likely they'll be questionably touchy in public (and I think they'd both do it to Big Boss, who's trying to keep them under control at least until they have more privacy; he doesn't like bringing any attention towards themselves)
For some reason I just imagined Big Boss buying ice-cream cones to them, so I will now accept this as his go-to way to treat them when going out; he doesn't look like the kind of man who'd buy flowers, chocolate boxes, jewelry, etc etc - ice-cream seems informal enough and a good way to keep them happy quite frequently
He also gets to have both of them licking the ice-cream in a rather indecent manner in front of him, but that's just a side effect and not his goal at all (he just wanted to cool down and eat something sweet)
Someone recently pointed out to me Big Boss seemed to show voyeuristic behaviors in mgs pw, so... These two being hornier than average... Y'know. Sometimes he just sits and watches as he smokes.
Tbh I already thought Kaz is into voyeurism and I'm not having too hard of a time imagining EVA being into that as well (just to a much lesser extent than them), so. Um. They can take turns.
And now that I accidentally ended up in this thread of thoughts - if it's the three of them, Kaz and EVA have to do most things at the same time or take turns, it doesn't work if only one of them does this or that (they'd fight) (they're into it anyway, just brings up a slighty dirtier side of them both and Big Boss is Not complaining)
I feel having EVA by his side would make it more likely for Kaz to work on music - yeah, she's not deaf and probably told him he's not much of a singer, but she'd also encourage him, maybe even sing herself, and Kaz would write little songs about things he likes about their trips and their little adventures as a throuple; I actually am not sure of what Big Boss' impression is regarding his musical skills, but I think he'd encourage him to improve himself (y'know, a very firm pat on the back and a few words while directly looking at him, then hold his jaw and a little kiss to get him going)
Now that I think of it. Big Boss seems more kinky than EVA, but less than Kaz. Do what you wish with that information
Anyway, back to the music - they visit music shops, second-hand shops from time to time and Big Boss is often forced to hold Kaz up so they can leave after several hours of him investigating all of the instruments, musicians and albums he's interested in (EVA finds this cute and enjoys seeing Big Boss holding Kaz like a sack of potatoes on his shoulder). Oh. Happens with fishing stuff too. AND trains. Specially trains.
It's kind of the same thing with EVA when they pass by a motorbike club, an exposition, motorcycle dealerships, and any other ride-related event (likewise, it's now Kaz who finds this cute and Big Boss is just the one who has to drag her out)
Since we're already doing this, they both have to drag Big Boss out when they find a gun shop (this isn't cute to either of them because he's stronger than them, he so badly wants to look at guns and he's not willing to leave). Also happens with any military or hunting related shop.
EVA sleeps between Kaz and Big Boss, who are faced towards each other. EVA just turns to one or the other depending on the day (yes, there's a really neat schedule Kaz did on Excel) (there are times they just wanna cuddle and Kaz will always click his tongue before saying "fine..." despite being more than okay with it, he's just mad the schedule is being ignored)
EVA will sometimes only wear Big Boss' shirt (which means, oversized) at home (wherever that is) - he couldn't care less about it, but Kaz finds it particularly hot and has a bit less of focus when this happens. EVA will also do this with Kaz's clothing, but it just doesn't hit the same, y'know. He likes it regardless, but the feeling is not exactly the same
Kaz is definitely teaching Big Boss how to use chopsticks. I assume EVA already knows, but I don't think she'd have the same amount of patience to teach him - she'd rather poke fun at their efforts and serve them food herself from time to time
Flirting is so ingrained in Kaz's & EVA's personalities that Big Boss sometimes asks them if they're genuinely trying to flirt with someone - they aren't, but always tease him about it when he asks
Regarding that, even though I already described kazeva as Bisexual Swingers, somehow I feel they'd remain in a closed relationship with Big Boss. I guess it'd be kind of a "just assumed that" thing, meaning Big Boss wouldn't actually mind them trying to add another person for intercourse, he simply doesn't actively look for that kind of experience (as if he doesn't already have more than enough with these two horny bastards) and they never really bring it up either (they're that infatuated I guess), just joke about it
I think EVA is the type to steal food from the other two while actively eating. Oh, we're having breakfast and I already finished? Too bad for you, I'm grabbing your marmalade toast. Out of your hand. After you already bit it. Big Boss just steals something back, but from Kaz. Kaz gets mad. He's the one who has to prepare more food. To get stolen. Again.
EVA is the one who repairs the motorbikes. Only her. You better not touch her damaged babies. It's her work. She Will hit you. She tolerates Kaz because he knows what she's talking about, but Big Boss can only help by bringing clean towels and food (and not touching anything else)
Kaz often tries to take them to hot springs whenever they visit a place with them - not just for nostalgia, but also as a way to have them completely relax for a bit
Okay, I hope this is enough!
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fatuismooches · 11 months
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I've hopped on major angst train, which is sad, but someone has to make yall sad after tooth-rotting fluff, hehe hehe, but I saw HC of some harbingers reacting to their s/o being executed by Raiden and it gave me an idea
Basically, imagine Harbingers causing their s/o's near death experience with their actions
Such as: Childe's s/o almost dying when Osial attacked Liyue. Look, he was sure you're in safety, but in reality? You're too much of a kind soul, so you were helping people to save themselves, while also putting yourself in danger. Maybe you almost drowned from Osial's attacks or got caught in crossfire, either way you almost died
Scara's s/o being targeted by Fatui after Scara himself ran away with Gnosis. No matter how hard he tries to hide then away, Fatui never forget and forgive traitors. They won't calm down until they get both of you. You might be strong, maybe even a vision holder, but it's not enough...
Or his s/o being a Harbinger and the one who dies in Tenshukakku. Imagine him interrupting your duel with Traveler and escaping together. Scara curses you for being an idiot, but he's actually so so happy he made it in time.
Or... If he was a few seconds late and arrived to witness your death. I imagine that after he erased himself from Irminsul and regained his memories, the first thing Scara did - checked what happened to you, but reader is still dead
WTF ANON I'M IN TEARS 😭😭 Childe would be the most hurt definitely. He was reluctant to awaken Osial in the first place because getting regular people involved wasn't his style. So when he sees you hurt because of his actions he can't help but feel terrible. After helping you recover with the best of doctors he may even try to leave you. Not because he doesn't love you but because he genuinely can't bear to see you hurt, especially because of his line of work. He can't quit the Fatui, but he can still protect you... just in the shadows this time :(
Well for Scara... man that'd be scary lol. To be on the run for that long. He hopes that when he becomes a God, the Fatui will no longer be able to threaten you since one does not dare to challenge a God. But you get hurt anyway :( And he's absolutely enraged of course and wishes he could leave the robot to kill the person himself. But this just encourages him to hurry up and ascend to godhood already. Though when that fails he can't help but feel a bit helpless. Since now you are the one taking care of him, but at least Nahida has taken you under her protection as well. After he erases himself from Irminsul though, hopefully things change and the Fatui are no longer after you, since he no longer exists. And that is a price he is willing to pay for your safety.
Oh boy. He'd tell you to not go near the Raiden Shogun under any circumstances but you were dragged into it anyway. When he can't find you at the agreed meeting place he instantly knows where you've gone and for once he feels panic. This Raiden Shogun was not Ei, she has no mercy. But he has no problem confronting her anyway. Seeing the Traveler's shocked but irritated expression was also a treat. I wonder if the Raiden Shogun (puppet) would recognize him? I'm not sure if it was stated in-game. (Can't believe it's been 2 years since Inazuma 😭)
Scara would wonder if the Gnosis was really worth your death (it wasn't he finds out very quickly) + despise his creator so much more than he already did. He can only hope that he'll meet you again one day, and that you'd forgive him for his idiocy.
Can't wait to add Arlecchino to this list😧🧍‍♀️Focalors doesn't seem like the Archon to play around tbh😭 I've been really thinking about why the Oceanids don't like her...
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babiebom · 4 months
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Hi, I'm too shy to comment on amazing stories I read on here, so I just keep them in my heart. I read your one shot about Spencer comforting reader who lost their friends and I kind of felt like writing this. Last year (this summer will be two) I lost my friends because I spoke up for myself, so you'll understand how personal it felt (even though I was the one who left the group chat). I'm glad I'm not friends with them anymore, they're horrible to each other, talking to their back. Spencer was kind of right (is that surprising?). But what you start to miss is the feeling of having friends, how you felt with them. Since my friends started to date (the girls they were dating were my other friends introduced them), they started to ignore me (the only single one in the group) even when we'd hang out together. I had a fight with one of the girls who made a rude comment to a friend (he doesn't talk to me anymore either) and after her boyfriend stepped in to defend her (she was literally insulting me when I wanted to have a pacific talk to solve it) I decided to leave. And reading that story kind of had me crying on the bed, because really? A year to get over the fact your friends whom I've grown up with (for 7 years, 11 years with another friend) have chosen someone they've known for 2 or 3 years? A year made me feel better, I'll give Spencer that. But a lifetime won't be enough to repair that little crack in my heart. I'm trying and struggling to make friends, and even though it hurt, I won't regret pushing away toxic and egoistic people. To whoever is reading this, don't let others treat you like shit and get away with that. They'll realise what they lost when they won't be able to take advantage of you anymore, when you won't be there being the best friend you could ever be. Your worth and your time shouldn't be wasted on people who can't even see it. To whoever got abandoned by their friends, it happens. And you're not alone. We're different people, in different countries and differently dealing with the same horrible feelings. But we'll heal, we'll get better and find people who are worth of being our friends. And we'll never think of those stupid assholes again. Thank you for reading this, I needed to let out some feelings <3
I’m sorry you had to go through that! I tried hard writing it because I feel like there’s multiple ways to lose friends and I thought this was the only one I could write without it being complete ass (like them dying or something)
Also it’s hard to learn especially when you want to feel like you fit in or that you’re loved and liked and all that and a lot of people are friends with people who don’t even consider them friends. I work with kids and I have to tell them all the time that it’s better to have no friends than to accept people being mean to you. Thankfully I’ve never been through this because I’ve had the same friends since I was a kid (I’ve known one since we were 5 another since I was like 9 or 10 and my newest friend I’ve been friends with since I was 18 or 19)
I wish you the best in life and friends that love and cherish you because honestly it would be hard to trust people again after something like that happens!!
Oneshot for anyone who wants to read
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ticklepinions · 3 months
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I agree that everyone has the right to their beliefs and opinions but no one should be forcing their opinions on others. What is wrong with people? Quit being so insensitive! Why is it so hard for them to be peaceable and kind? They need to focus on themselves before judging anyone else because that attitude is disgusting! Get therapy and fix your attitude! There are far worse problems in this world we don't need your toxic behaviour here. This is supposed to be a safe space for people. There is a lot that I personally don't agree with, but I won't share it as it will hurt people and I won't treat them any differently either to anyone else. But unfortunately not many people are mature enough to do that
Imma need some more clarity with this ask chief! (Edit: I think I know now so sorry for the way I replied to the ask but I'll keep it as is since it has good stuff)
Cause the way I'm interpreting it rn is not it. I don't think people not wanting to die for their own identity is insensitive. I find it insensitive that people are so caught up on being called out for saying things that hurt their fellow human beings, that they automatically dismiss taking any form of responsibility. No one should ever feel ok with targeting hate towards a group.
What's funny is there's always that one person who is like be peaceful! Be nice! I was one of them, and I was heavily misinformed and burdened with my own things to unlearn. We've BEEN nice. We've TRIED to be peaceful. That doesn't work. We continue to be ignored and ridiculed. Y'all LOVE to hype up war and how great it is for fighting for your country. Y'all are dick riding an entity that isn't built to support you. However, when we are fighting the real wars on racism, gen0cide, queer liberation, people's rights to their own bodies, literally anything worth fighting for, y'all are SO quick to shut it down.
And certain people are also real quick to be like don't force you ideologies onto us uwu! While they literally do that daily, and get laws that are passed to support them. And more marginalized people die, or are put in harms way. But on the other hand, if we all learned to be more accepting, no, more fucking human and have empathy and want equity for all, we wouldn't be where we are right now. So yeah I'm gonna shove my ideologies that maybe we should idk, fucking take care of one another!?!? Because that at least leads down a path where we all grow and come together as a community.
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catcas22 · 1 year
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Hello, hello again! I'm working on an idea right now, and I'm wondering if you could provide some input. It's pretty simple really—just one question. Just how ruthless of a ruler is Marika based on what we've seen in the game? I've seen a lot of people headcanon her as psychotic (funny image) and calculating, but some things are leading me believe otherwise to an extent and is making me think of a probably outlandish idea especially concerning her relationship with the Malenia and Miquella (kind of!). I'll be keeping those to my chest though until I eventually go through my thoughts again with fresh eyes.
- Outdated Theorist
This is something I've been wanting to post about for awhile, so this is as good a time as any to get my thoughts down on paper. Bear with me, I'm still trying to get my head around all of this myself.
Disclaimer: I haven't spent nearly as much time exploring and lorehunting in late game as I have in the early game. If I've overlooked something major, please let me know in the replies.
SPOILERS
First, I'm going to define terms. For a long time I treated the Greater Will, the Golden Order and the Elden Beast as if they were interchangeable. They are not.
The Erdtree: The current iteration of the World Tree, as it appears in the age of the Greater Will.
The Greater Will: An outer god, the god of the current age. Marika is its chosen Empyrean.
The Elden Beast: The physical manifestation of the Greater Will. Came to the Lands Between in the form of a falling star.
The Golden Order: The religion which has grown up around Marika, the Greater Will, and the Erdtree.
The Elden Ring: Physical manifestation of the structure of reality (the natural laws of the world). Existed long before the arrival of the Elden Beast.
Out of all of these, the Golden Order has the most direct influence in-game. We talk to its followers, we learn about its policies, we see the effect that it has had on the world. I think we can safely say that the Golden Order is an evil, tyrannical power structure. Aside from the long list of specific atrocities (the killing/shunning of omens, the enslavement of their former troll allies, the Tarnished hunts, the mass crucifixions...), the Golden Order has a half-dozen genocides, some complete and some ongoing, to its name.
The question then becomes, who is holding the reins of the Golden Order? Who is actually issuing these orders? Some possibilities:
The GO (Golden Order) is under the control of the GW (Greater Will), with orders being passed through the Finger Readers.
The GO is Marika's order, with her ruling directly prior to the Shattering, and ruling via servants such as Morgott or Gideon Ofnir after her imprisonment in the Erdtree.
The GO was enforced by Marika, but the GW was the one in charge.
The GO is simply the religion that people have built up around Marika and the GW. People like Gideon are the ones actually calling the shots. While the GO might profess loyalty to Marika, in actuality she is riding a tiger that she has long since lost control of.
Personally, I think some combination of options 1 and 2 is most likely. 3 and 4 would both make an excellent story, I just don't think that's the story that the game is telling. However, I don't have enough hard evidence to say for sure either way.
The second question: how much agency did Marika have in her relationship the the GW? The descriptions on Marika's Scarseal and Marika's Soreseal provide a degree of insight.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The scarseal (top) is found in the Sofria River, and the soreseal (bottom) is found in Elphael. If the in-game placement is at all significant, it would suggest to me that Marika had begun to chafe under her assigned duty at least by the time the twins established Elphael (fairly late in the timeline).
It is also worth noting that the outer gods do not seem capable of directly mind-controlling their Empyreans. The only instance of direct mind-control appears to be Blaidd, where it is explicitly stated that the GW activated him to kill Ranni. The shadows (Blaidd and Maliketh) seem to have a dual purpose -- protect their assigned Empyrean as long as they are useful, but kill them if they stray.
The fact that the shadows can be mind-controlled to kill their Empyreans suggests that the Empyreans themselves cannot be directly controlled -- if an outer god could brute-force compliance, the shadow contingency would be redundant. Also worth noting that while the Scarlet Rot can afflict Malenia's body, it does not appear to be in control of her mind. Even in her Goddess of Rot form, she remains lucid (or at least as lucid as she was in phase 1).
A possible refutation: We do see what appears to be the GW (or the Elden Beast?) puppeting Radagon's corpse in phase 1 of the final boss fight. However, there's so much ambiguity surrounding exactly what Radagon is and what's going on with him and the GW that I'm hesitant to use this as a data point.
So, possible interpretations:
The GW has been forcing Marika into service from the very beginning. She never had a choice, and she has been trying to free herself ever since.
Marika made a Faustian bargain that she did not fully understand. She allied herself with the GW in the pursuit of power, but quickly realized that she was in for more than she signed up for and started trying to get out of it.
Marika served the GW willingly early on, using her position as God of the Current Age to forge herself an empire. As the years went on, she began to doubt her path, and started making plans to remove the influence of the GW.
Marika was a willing participant and fully in control of the GO right up until the Night of Black Knives. Now that someone she actually cared about had been hurt, she finally turned on the GW, only to be imprisoned in the Erdtree for her treachery.
I tend to lean towards option 3, but you could make a case for any of these. How you interpret Marika relies on this foundation.
If option 1 is true, Marika is innocent, a victim of forces beyond her control much like Ranni, Malenia, and Miquella.
If option 2 is true, Marika is a tragic figure, with all her scheming and sacrificing in service to correcting a terrible mistake she made in her youth. This is my second favorite interpretation after #3.
If option 3 (which I find the most compelling), Marika is morally grey, maybe an anti-hero, maybe a sympathetic villain. On the one hand, she is fighting against the GW, which is admirable. On the other, she spent the better part of her life fighting for the GW because it suited her purposes to do so. Now that she's had a change of heart, she expects her children/step-children to either clean up her mess or die in the attempt.
If option 4, Marika is a spiteful, power-hungry sociopath. She was more than happy to lead a campaign of conquest, oppression, and genocide, right up until it affected someone she cared about. At which point she said "screw you guys, I'm going home" and took a literal hammer to the laws of physics.
Some of Marika's Dialogue, via Melina:
The Erdtree governs all. The choice is thine. Become one with the Order. Or divest thyself of it. To wallow at the fringes; a powerless upstart.
This suggests to me that in the beginning, Marika joined the GW willingly -- not under threats or coercion, but because she wanted to be the God of the New Age rather than remain "a powerless upstart."
Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices...
This is ultimately what pushes me away from option 2 and toward option 3. These are the words of a woman who sees her children as objects, tools to be used and discarded as convenient.
Ultimately, how much sympathy you have for Marika depends on how early she began to work against the GW. Marika wasn't on board from the beginning? Tragic, deserved better, trying her best, not the hero the Lands Between deserved but the one it needed. Marika was on board with the GW's agenda until like 5 minutes before she shattered the Elden Ring? Complete monster, genocidal maniac, worst mother ever, makes the Pale King look like a saint.
And honestly? We don't have enough information to pin down exactly when her attitude changed. That part is up to personal interpretation.
As for where the "Psycho wine-mom with a hammer" image came from, I think that's a combination of Rule of Funny, the option 4 interpretation, and the small-scale family interactions. You know...
"These two are kind of ugly." *flush*
"Yes Radagon, this is a booty call. No, I don't care that you have a wife and three kids."
"Me? Experience consequences? Nope, hammer time!"
While hilarious, I don't think Marika was meant to be that much of a one-dimensional monster in-game. Remember that GRRM developed the lore of Elden Ring. Marika might be a monster, but she'd be complex and well-written monster.
Hopefully that answers your question!
And a sincere thankyou to anyone who made it to the end of this novel.
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uncloseted · 1 month
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I used to think I had ADHD bc it's so hard for me to get schoolwork done, but Ive realized that I really just procrastinate bc I'm scared of starting an assignment and failing. I mainly procrastinate on essays and projects bc it's usually a challenge and also a sum of everything you have learned in class, and I get scared because I feel like I'm not equipped to do it. So I avoid avoid avoid and do it last minute. Sometimes I get really good marks actually! So it proves that I am actually
Equipped to do the assignment even if I do it super late. But, I'm wondering how I can drill into my head to just DO the thing and not be terrified that I'm going to fail and avoiding it for fear of confronting the truth that I'm a "failure" and can't do the assignment (logically I know this isn't true but emotionally my brain automatically doesn't believe it).
Yes! Perfectionism is such a huge reason why people procrastinate and I don't think people talk about it nearly as much as they should.
The first thing I would do when dealing with procrastination from perfectionism is to remind yourself that the outcome of your work isn't a reflection of your worth as a person. You can be loved and worthy even if you aren't perfect at everything you do. I think oftentimes, people who struggle with perfectionism feel like being perfect at things is a necessary part of their identity, but we aren't our successes and failures. Letting go of the idea that the outcome of tasks define us makes it easier to complete work. And when you do fail at things, try to reframe what that means in your mind. Instead of "failing this exam means I'm a failure as a person", maybe try reframing it as "failure is a normal part of life. If I never fail, then I'll never be able to grow."
When you're starting an assignment, try and set reasonable goals and standards for yourself. Of course you want to give each assignment your best and get 100% on everything, but what's the bare minimum that would get you to achieve your goal? If you have a class you're taking, what's the bare minimum that you would need to get on this assignment and still pass the class? Figuring out what would be good enough can help to combat that feeling that the world is ending when an assignment isn't perfect. It can also help you to get started, since you can remind yourself that it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to get done. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and remind yourself that you can always go through it again at the end and improve it if you need to.
In terms of general anti-procrastination strategies, there are a few things you can try:
Break your task into small, manageable steps that you can check off a list. These can be as simple as "open document" and "write name at the top of the paper". The more little tasks you do successfully, the more you'll feel like you can do.
Commit to only doing a little bit. Maybe you'll just do one step that's on your list, or you'll do two minutes of work. Usually, after that time is up, you'll feel like you've gotten over the hump of starting a new task and you can keep going. But if not, let yourself take a break. You've at least gotten a little something done, which is better than nothing.
Reward your progress. Once you get to pre-set milestones in the task you're going (like you've finished five of the small steps on your list, or you've finished writing a paragraph of an essay), give yourself a little treat. It sounds silly, but if you can train yourself to associate doing work with getting a treat, it's easier to start doing the work.
And more than anything else, I think it's important to be kind to yourself. If you had a friend that was struggling the way that you are now, what would you say to them? You'd tell them that they're capable of completing the assignment and even if it doesn't go well, they're not a failure of a person, right? Try to talk to yourself that same way when you're trying to get through doing an assignment. It will feel silly at first, but the more that we practice kindness and compassion towards ourselves, the easier it becomes to do it, and the more we believe the things we tell ourselves.
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bwoahtastic · 9 months
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Okay so I don't know if it's even remotely good, or worth your time. But I've going through the tags and I miss the Pagan gods AU, so I thought why not write something for it. I'm not really good at smut and it can definitely be improved, but I wanted to try and give it a go. So here is my submission for the Pagan gods AU. Also beware of the ship it's not the usual version we have of them. And beware of the mistake and and all, English isn't my first language and this is definitely not beta proofed.
When Max was brought to the temple as a sacrifice for their god, he didn't expect to be because he was a virgin. He heard of boys and girls being sacrificed each year after the winter solstice, to their god for protection. Some of them came back and the chief village looked always scared and the sacrifice was then brought to his house for an inspection.
If the inspection went well then the village was safe, if not the sacrifice was banned and immediately someone was sent to the sacred temple. It only happened twice with a boy named Nico, and everyone was avoiding talking about him except when the sacrifice ceremony was about to begin. Then the whole village talked about Nico and how he failled them all by being worthless. He didn't even get checked out by the chief. He was immediately kicked out of the village and no one heard of him since.
The other boy who was kicked out was George. And no one saw it coming. After all he succeeded and he even bragged about it saying the god really liked him. But as soon as he said it, plant were dying, the farmers couldn't grow anything, animals started to die, and soon the water was also tinted. So they turned to George and asked him again and again what did he do to let the god unleash his warth upon them. And without a response and seeing the situation getting worth he was kicked out.
Max did heard about George's futur as soon after his exclusion, everything went well oh so well. They even had enough food for a whole city and some farmer used the extra food to sell it to the near villages. One of their sons, Esteban, said he saw George in the near village and that people treated him like trash. They acused him of witchcraft as when he arrived nothing could grow. So it soon appeared that George was cursed. And not later after that, there was news that George was killed by a hungry villager and eaten. The hunger, and anger and madness taking over. The next week the said village was gone. Completely destroyed.
And so everyone was afraid to mess up with the god. So this is why Max didn't understand why he was the one choosen as a sacrifice this time. He couldn't care less about the whole deal, but also he didn't want to end up like Nico or worse like George. He never prayed to their god. His father Christian often did and never came back with good news from it. Only when he goes to the temple with Sebastian that he gets some luck.
Max was sometimes jealous of their relationship. He so wanted to be useful for his father that worked really hard for them. But he knew his craft was in hunting. And so he made it his mission to bring enough food for his father and his brother. Sebastian's craft was more into knitting. He created beautiful piece of clothing and offer them almost always to Mark, the blacksmith's son. He did share his creation with the rest of the villagers for free. And some said that his kindness will be his downfall, but Seb never saw it that way.
And when Mick, Esteban and Lance were going to other villagers to sell some of their products they always take some of Seb's crafted clothing to sell. Giving him the whole money they got of it, even if Seb always put a fight to refuse it, until they mention Max and Christian. And then reluctantly Seb agrees to take the money.
They aren't rich far from it, but at least they do make it work. And this is why Max is so afraid of being the sacrifice. Because if he fail in one way or another, his father and brother will be left alone and ostracized. There's no way they won't be the target of the rest of the villagers even if they seems to like them. They seemed to like George and look what happened to him and his family! His little brother Lando was taken to the deep end of the forest and no one saw him ever since. His father was spared but only because he promised the chief he would never ask for any help. And to prove it got to the extrem limit of the village. Living by himself and never speaking to anyone since.
Max doesn't want that for his family. So this is why he went to see Mark and Jenson. If the blacksmith son is a decent man he will take care of Sebastian and his father. And if Jenson is a friend like he pretend to be for Seb he will make sure that Seb and Christian are being taken care of no matter what will happen with Max.
Having their words that they would protect his family, Max was then sent to the temple with no explanation of what to do. The only thing he was told was to strip and wear the purple Toga he will see in the temple.
He didn't believe it at first because purple is the color of royalty and expensive but as soon as he saw the toga, he had to believe it. So he stiped, wore the toga in a clumsy way. He couldn't be faulted he never wore one before and waited.
He's been waiting for a while and no sign of the god. He felt like he was played and started to strip back into his clothing when suddenly he heard someone coming. Half naked the top of the toga, dripping out of his shoulders Max looked with spoked eyes as the feared god approach.
He soon realise that this god is not like the ones he knows. His Skin isn't white like his, but darker. Not like charcoal, more like tree trunk. He never saw someone having this type of skin color before. His hair were falling as little waves of curls. Making his face look softer than he think a god should look like. His eyes were brown same color as honey. And then, then his body, muscles everywhere Max could see. Tatoos that complemented his skin and seemed like having a mind of their own. Max was especially draw towards the lion one on the chest.
And that's when he realised maybe this god is so feared because he isn't one of their gods. But a foreign god that had so much power that not even the king of the gods himself dared to come here. The god just looked at Max and raised an eyebrow. Something like amusment in his eyes. Max frown and looked back at the god in the eyes. He realized soon enough that he was taller than said god. Not by much but still taler than him and that put him in a better mood already. And so with this new bravado he spoke first when everyone told him to just shut up and do what the god said.
- You don't look like a god from here, what's your name?
The god scoff at that and smiled.
- You're the first one to speak to me before I have spoke. Aren't you afraid of me?
- No. I'm not.
Lies but he couldn't let that god look him down. No matter what his powers are he will not submit to him. Even if that means dying at least his family will have Jenson and Mark to protect them.
- I hate being lied to little lion.
- I'm not afraid. I'm angry.
-Angry? And why is that?
- Because we have to sacrifice someone every year around that time and we don't know what we have to do to appease you. I'm sure you're not from here. Why should we submit to you!?
- Are you sure you're doing the right thing here little lion? I'm a god after all. I could kill you.
- And I don't care. I never believed in gods anyway.
- You're an interesting one little lion.
- Stop calling me that.
- And why is that?
- It's weird. I don't even know if you'll kill me. And I don't know your name.
- Oh that. No one told you about your role?
- No. We never know.
- Hum well you're quite young I guess that's the reason.
- I'm 26.
- You don't look like it at all little lion.
Max frown harder and the god chuckled. Pleased to have this human with him. Maybe he will be entertaining this time.
- To your question my response is the following. Yes I'm a god you never heard of. And it's normal I had earn many names through time. And I was always there. You just never heard of me because your gods and goddesses took the space. As for what type of god I am, I'm a fertility god. With everything that implies.
Max looked at the god not understanding the last part. What does he means with everything that implies?
- What are you confused about little lion?
- What do you mean by everything that implies?
-Sex of course
- What??
Max suddenly felt very very exposed and tried to cover himself. He was stopped by the god tho.
- Tell me, what do you know about the ritual?
- Nothing I was never interested in it in the first place and also, I never expected this!
He's blushing and the god's eyes on him do not help. Said god was looking at the little lion and taking in everything let him go.
- I'm not into virgins in general and you clearly don't know what you were giving yourself up for. So little lion let's do this. We will talk and eat and then I will go and you can sleep in the temple. You will be under my protection no one will ever hurt you here. And tomorrow you will go back to you village and tell to the chief that he needs to tell everyone about the ritual, the goal of it and what it is important. I don't want to force myself into a sacrifice.
Max was extremely surprised by the god's words and seen him under a new light. Maybe this god wasn't terrible after all.
- There's no catch, I will really go back and there will be no consequences for the village?
- As long as you do what I say, then I promise to let the village alone until next year.
That is good. He could keep his family safe and is assured that the village won't have any problems. So. He agreed to it and soon enough he was carried to a bed room, with a lot of food. More than any he's ever eaten and drinks and music playing in the background. As it turns out the god was really charming. And without the divinity stuff he practically looked like a normal human. Maybe around his thirties. They did laugh a lot and shared their experiences. It wasnt comparable and Max got to learn so much with the god, he feared he annoyed him. But no, the god looked at him like he was genuinely interested in Max.
But around maybe two in the morning Max felt his eyes dropping and fell asleep on the god's tights. The god smiled and put his little lion in a better position on the bed before keeping watch over him.
When Max woke up he was alone the god wasn't there, put next to him were clothing expensive clothing and a little note.
"Thank you for this night little lion"
Max blushed and took the clothes in his arms not sure about wearing them, he chose not to and wear back his tiny tunic made by his big brother. He left the temple and was set to come back home but something bothered him.
- I don't even know his name.
"Lewis"
Startled Max looked around to see no one. But he tried out.
- L-Lewis?
"This is my name little lion. If you come back to the temple to pray, just call my name and I will be there for you"
He couldn't see Lewis but Max knew he was here. He just felt it. He smiled.
- Thank you Lewis.
When Max got back to the village, and Seb asked him what happened he just said that nothing happend and that he needed to talk to the chief.
A year later Max willingly went as a sacrifice this time, knowing what he was into. And he never regret it especially not when he had Lewis whimpering under him, kissing him and urging him to go deeper and faster. When they finally touched completion, and Max felt himself dying a little he thought that would have been a shame because Lewis looked incredible when reaching the skies. Max marked Lewis' skin with kisses and bites and his hand went slowly resting on Lewis' belly.
- My little lion.
- My beautiful god.
They smiled at each other and cuddled for the whole night. The next morning when asked if Max would like to spend the rest of his life with Lewis and their child, Max didn't hesitate and agreed. Lewis blessed the village with eternal fertility and Max got to be an immortal god himself. He didn't even bother about his title, he needed to be there for his husband now and their little one.
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MAIN STORY : CHAPTER 2 PART 12
EMMA : (Sion where are you? I thought I saw him heading this way, but…)
????? : How about this? Do you like that?
EMMA : (That voice just now…)
ANGE : Meow~!
SION : Here kitty, what's this…
EMMA : (Is that Sion's light magic? Whoa, so soft…)
SION : Alright, good kitty, that's it, over here, just a little more…
SION : Just a liiiittle more…
ANGE : Hssssssssssttt!
SION : …!? Ange!?
SION : …….
EMMA : …Hey, Sion? Can we talk?
SION : What the-!? How long have you been standing there!?
EMMA : I wasn't trying to spy! I've been looking everywhere for you, I--…
SION : …Just don't tell anyone what you saw, got it?
EMMA : You got it.
EMMA : So… Do you like animals in general, or is it JUST cats?
SION : I don't have to answer to you.
EMMA : Well, when you put it that way, you're right… I can't force you to tell me.
SION : …………….
SION : …Cats are cute… Right?
EMMA : Uh, yeah, I think so! Especially Ange here, she's a beauty.
SION : …So… What do you want from me?
EMMA : You ran out… I was worried about you…
EMMA : You've got Est, Kai and Gui all worried sick, too. You know that, right?
SION : …No, I didn't know that…
EMMA : Hey, Sion… Can I ask you something?
EMMA : Why do you look so sad all the time?
SION : I haven't given you permission to ask me anything yet…
EMMA : Oh, I'm sorry!
Sion throws a glance my way, assessing me for all I'm worth.
Seemingly making his decision, he takes a short breath.
SION : …I didn't come to Magia Seminar to make friends or be some kind of model student.
SION : I came here to hone my skills as a magician. And that's what I intend to do.
SION : I don't have time to deal with them…
EMMA : I don't understand… Aren't Kai and Gui are working just as hard for the same reason?
SION : They are, but it's just not the same.
SION : The burden I carry… It's different…
EMMA : And what burden is that?
SION : ……..
SION : Fine… You're just gonna read my file anyway…
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SION : I'm from Secundati, the land of spirits.
EMMA : Spirits…
SION : Yeah. The definition varies from place to place. In Secundati, it's what we call the higher beings that control nature itself.
SION : Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, Ice, Light, and Darkness. For each Spirit a nation. And for each nation a clan blessed with the power of said Spirit.
SION : I was born into the clan of Darkness. And there isn't a single person in the world who hasn't heard our name.
EMMA : Darkness? But you're… A Light Magician, right?
SION : I'm a heretic...
SION : I was supposed to be chosen by the Spirit of Darkness to master the Anima arts… But instead… I was chosen by the Spirit of Light…
SION : Even still, my family took care of me and treated me as their own… But they were the only ones…
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Why would the venerable Clan of Darkness give birth to a Child of Light? What did his family do to deserve this? How filthy. He's a blight on the family name…
EMMA : …….
SION : That's why I left my home, my country. To hone my skills, become famous and make a name for myself.
SION : To get back at those who slandered my family.
SION : And become a Grand Meister so I could finally make my dreams of mastering the Anima Arts a reality…
EMMA : …Sion?
SION : …You talk too much.
SION : But since you're already here… Give those guys a message for me.
SION : I'm leaving the guild.
EMMA : What, why now all of a sudden!?
SION : I've been preparing for this from the start. I've done a lot of research on my own.
SION : I only came here because I thought it would make it easier for me to become a Grand Meister.
SION : I put my faith in that so called 'genius', but it's not enough to just be like everybody else…
SION : I'm only falling further behind.
EMMA : But…
SION : Leave me alone. I'll do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true.
EMMA : …..SION!!!
SION : …………..
EMMA : You're not the only one with a dream, Sion… I have one, too. So even if you leave this guild, I still want to help you.
SION : …………
SION : …Tsk. So you're a single-celled organism, too…
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JOE : Ughh! They got in our way again.. But they won't get in our way next time. In fact, next time it'll be an all-out stomp!!
ACE : You're right, bro! I mean, c'mon, those guys don't know how to work together at all!
JOE : Ha-ha-ha! Right? How pathetic! Meanwhile lil bro and I are in perfect sync!
ACE : Exactly! All for one and one for all!!
JOE / ACE : Who will become the biggest, baddest, evilest villainest villains of all time? We will! The Dark Night Duo, that's who!
NANASHI : Being so lively and upbeat at a time like this is a talent all its own, I suppose…
NANASHI : Well now, what exactly do we do next? Any ideas, Mateo?
MATEO : Uuwwwaaa…. AWWOOOOOOO!!!
NANASHI : Hmmm, yes. I was thinking that exact same thing. He did look rather lonely after all…
NANASHI : Mateo… Would you like to make a new friend?
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aita-ghosting · 10 months
Note
AITA for leaving my ex in a potentially abusive relationship?
(CW self harm, verbal and emotional abuse)
TL;DR I broke up with a poly couple and I'm afraid that one party is being abused by the other, but I don't feel comfortable reaching out.
I (23F) met ex A (28F) at work last year, she began flirting with me even though she was engaged to ex B (28F), but once they clarified being poly, I agreed to start dating A. Eventually, I got involved with B as well, and around that time, A became slower to respond to my texts. I sought comfort with B, who would give me updates about how A was sad that we didn't go out as much. I admt that I should have been more upfront—I'm pretty inexperienced with dating, let alone polyamory, and I didn't give A the attention she deserved. That's on me.
Eventually, A and I amicably broke up in February. She was very mature the whole time, setting boundaries while still being kind to me, and we ended the night well. The very next night, B calls me on speaker berating me about how I was treating A and going over the same issues I thought A and I already addressed. This talk greatly distressed both myself and A.
Still not seeing the red flags, I continued talking to B until my mental health took a nosedive a few weeks later. TL;DR for a mix of reasons my depression hit me hard and I relapsed on self harm. I did some things I'm not proud of, including berating myself in front of coworkers; for that, I'm TA. Regardless, realizing I need help and comfort, I called B, whose first words to me were "oh anon... you know what this means, right? You need to go see a therapist." Which, yeah, but that's not the first thing I need to hear in crisis!
After scheduling some appointments, I texted B hoping she'd be proud of me for taking care of myself. Instead she continued to berate me for "seeking attention" by hurting myself while on the clock. She broke up with me shortly afterwards, implying I wasn't mature enough for her bc I felt "grown up" scheduling a doctor's appointment (worth noting that my close friends WERE proud of me when I told them), and then admitted that an ex of hers once compared her to his former abuser. While playing it off. Yikes.
We tried to stay friends, but after once again being berated by her over text for not answering a simple question correctly, and then being low-key gaslit when I told her I felt scared around her (basically she told me I had no right to feel scared of her setting boundaries and that it was my fault anyway for "not being honest with [her]"), I decided, encouraged by some friends, to cut her off. I don't regret this action. Looking back, B was very much verbally and emotionally abusive to me. My only regret is not noticing sooner.
Back to A, who's the real person I'm worried about. We weren't as close, but we had a friendly working relationship. Recently, though, she was fired from work. She doesn't post on social media and I'm beginning to worry for her, since if B was so nasty to me, she must be even worse to her fiancee. However, because of the role A played in my hurt (remember, we worked together, and conversations she and I had were sometimes used against me by B), I do not feel comfortable reaching out; what if B finds out and gives me hell? I have B's number muted, but she knows where I live. Then again, this might be an irrational fear I'm using as an excuse to not reach out to someone who might need help. But then again then again, I might be reading too much into this and A's fine.
Ugh, I don't know. This is seriously eating me up and I don't know what the right thing is. WIBTA for ghosting A? Or should I suck it up and ask if she's okay?
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Text
Homestuck, page 2,343
Kanaya: Answer CA.
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Author commentary:
Get ready for this awful child. The obnoxious, romantically tragic, genocidal fuckboy of the group. It should be a familiar online archetype to most by now. Earlier I referred to Nepeta as being somewhat a writeup of the enthusiastic fandom type, which could be summarily branded as the "Tumblr fangirl." And in that sense, she reads as a less focused rough draft of Calliope, who brought more clarity to that role later. So thinking in those terms, you could also view Eridan as a writeup of the "4chan nastyboy," and therefore an unfocused draft of Caliborn, who similarly distilled that role. I think there's a lot to say about Eridan, particularly as a raw precursor to that villainous presence in the story later. I'll wait until he's on-screen before diving into that, though. Just setting up here! You've been warned.
The fact that Eridan's being so loose with strange romantic terms is how you know we're getting awfully close to the troll romance info dump. It's like a Geiger counter that's starting to beep like crazy. Eridan has something in common with Karkat in that he appears well versed in the subject of romance. Later we see that, even though they don't like each other much, they sort of act like "bros" when it comes to this subject. However, Karkat treats the subject more academically, with a sort of hobbyist's enthusiasm, and seems to carry a certain respect for the knowledge. Whereas Eridan clearly tries to exploit his knowledge of romance to his advantage, behaves manipulatively, sort of in the vein of a pickup artist (and a very unsuccessful one at that). We detect signs of this here. His entire scheme with the doomsday device appears to have more to do with roping Vriska into a blackrom relationship than it does with his interest in wiping out land dwellers (still a valid motivation, but secondary to his sad romantic pursuits). He also uses his romantic insights to manipulate people in other ways, even if he's not trying to court them. Like pinning Kanaya down as a natural auspistice and using it to get her to set him up with Vriska. Maybe even "mediate" between them, since that's what she apparently likes to do with Vriska anyway. In fact, the more you unpack what he's doing here, if you understand the ashen quadrant, the more it actually seems like he is hitting on Kanaya, with kind of a backdoor approach. He's proposing a menage-a-clubs, with him and Vriska. He literally never stops working all possible angles to fill his quadrants.
The only reason I made him say "powwwwoww" is because I wanted to type four w's in a row. This should be obvious to everyone. It's worth pausing here to behold how completely ridiculous Eridan's entire verbal existence is, when you take into account his silly double w/v quirk, which conveys an absurd "accent" of some sort, his run-on cadence, unyieldingly indignant tone, and colorful vocabulary that feels like a baffling mashup of pirate speak, soccer hooliganism, and the fuckboy joker always sliding into your DMs. His eclectic vocabulary and obsession with romance means that we suddenly get this whole rush of quadrant vernacular we hadn't heard before. Which is pretty intriguing on a worldbuilding basis, to start picking up how many average trolls probably allude to each other's romantic habits in casual conversation. Things like being "ruddy" for someone, or waxing this way or that. There's a whole manner of speaking about this stuff that can only be picked up through enough exposure to contextual banter.
Okay, "savvvvy" was just another excuse to type four v's in a row. Calling myself out here at every turn. "Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands" is another Homestuck tagline. I'm just going to keep making note of these when I see them. They will always do one of the following: 1) reference dying too much 2) address the difficulties of growing up 3) involve the fact that nobody ever really knows what the hell is going on 4) insinuate in some way that I am a buffoon, a liar, a sadist, or a megalomaniacal genius, or 5) all of the above. In fact, this entire note can be a tagline too.
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papier-ciseaux · 2 years
Note
OHHHH that ending was sooooo worth waiting for! I was reading your Submas comic since the beginning and it's a very interesting concept!
Emmet definitely would have emotions making him interesting for Nihilego and despite losing missing his brother he is still very kind and sweet and has a lowered guard in front of UBs like Nihilego.
I'm so happy they're together at last.
I do have several questions in fact:
is old medicine really able to help Emmet getting rid of the Neurotoxins? Back in the SuMo Games they implied even then it's difficult to treat someone being affected by Nihilego's Neurotoxins.
Will Lady Sneasler (or literally everyone involved in this encounter) ever warm up to Emmet? He definitely left a lasting First Impression on everyone...
Will Ingo remember Emmet? I'm not expecting a full recovery of memories but like he said in the game memories of his heart still live on.
Also in one of the previous parts you've shown Elesa... How well does she keep up?
ANYWAY sorry, this AU is very interesting and basically in ways what I was expecting back in original SuMo during. (Though this hurt way harder than Lusamine ever could have) ANYWAY sorry for this big dump of questions and rambles. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your AU and the work you've put into it! Thank you for the quality content!
AAAA THANK YOU!! I'm glad I managed to see this project through QwQ It wasn't even supposed to be that long in the first place =w=;;
I have so many thoughts on it all. I don't think I've said it here, but Emmet offering his help to the UB was him thinking "what would Ingo do? Ingo would help it." He's compensating for his absence by doing this.
Now for your questions:
Old medicine is indeed not enough. He's been assimilated with Nihilego for a LONG time, way longer than Lusamine. I did not want to downplay how much it affected him, and even had first drafts were it was even tougher on him. His condition is definitely worrying, and is a new driver for finding a way back, or at least a way to help him. There are good days and bad days tho. He's not in immediate danger of dying is the main point — I wouldn't do that to y'all — just dealing with some heavy withdrawals symptoms, a lot of muscle loss, and trauma. Also I might sketch some scenes of him waking up and talking with Ingo and such
Once he gets washed up and has ridden himself of nihilego's "scent", the lady will have less of a problem with him. Dawn is quick to bounce from all that in a worrying "i've seen worse" fashion. Ingo is actually the one with the most hesitation about Emmet. His logic is saying 'Danger' and everything else is saying 'Friend' so he's a bit troubled. He'll get around once they can talk peacefully.
Nihilego messed up some of Emmet's memories, so they're gonna both play jigsaw for a while. Fortunately, it's much easier to remember stuff while having a two sided conversations. Emmet still got more pieces than Ingo, but he's also in worse shape. He's got the big picture stuff, and some overly specific details, but some stuff are blurry.
Elesa sure is having a hard time. I have sadly no plans surrounding her at the moment.
I hope that clears some stuff up!
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