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thesoftestpunk · 8 months

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Will you be mine?

Summary: your crush is starting to become something more

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 6.3k

A/N: This took for-fucking-ever, I'm sorry. I had a 5 month writers block

Warnings: Minors DNI!! If I find out you read this, I'm calling your mom. Lots of making out, dumb sex jokes, first time, smut, oral, piv sex, virgin!Eddie idk if I missed something lemme know. Also reader can honestly be read as plus size. I try to be inclusive.

Pt.1

When Eddie truly saw you for the first time, you were actually giving Dustin directions to the theater department, already late to swim practice, but you nodded along to his excited ramblings about joining Hellfire. You wished all three freshmen good luck and when you passed by Eddie, you smiled. Not even a half-assed, polite smile, but a full one. It’s so out of the ordinary for him that he just gawkes at you with wide eyes until your smile falters a fraction, and you move on.

It’s been two years since you’ve moved into town, so he’s seen you around school before, but it’s the closest your worlds came to colliding, and in response to that, you smiled. Most people turned their noses up at the sight of him but the harder he thought about it, you never did. Not in two whole years. Even when his hair went through a terrible awkward phase.

It set his curiosity in motion, unintentionally looking for you any chance he got. It was easiest in class, stuck in the back by choice, but that meant no one was looking at him looking at you. You sat with your friends any chance you got, devoted yourself to them, but anytime they made a snide comment, he saw you withdraw just the slightest bit, eyes drifting and frown deepening. Eddie never liked it when you frowned. In fact, anytime he could tell you were having a bad day, eyes burning with tears, he’d act like a fool in class. At first, you remained nonchalant, eyes drifting like they did with your friends, but the first time he got you to laugh, his heart felt too big for his chest.

“Again?” Gareth teased when he caught Eddie drooling over you instead of the worksheet in front of him that only displayed the addition of his crooked name and nothing else.

“I think I like her, man.” Eddie tries to keep his voice low. If anyone caught wind that he liked someone so high on the social ladder, he’d be eaten alive. The teasing over his hobbies he could take, but getting his heart caught on his sleeve and then stomped on made him nervous.

“You should just ask her out.” Gareth says it so nonchalantly that Eddie can’t help but scoff.

“She’s friends with Christina Whitlock, wannabe cheerleader. She’s worse than Carver and his goons. I’m not going to put myself on the chopping block willingly.”

“It’s either you ask her out or suffer in silence.”

Eddie looks at you sitting in the front of the classroom, smiling at something you’ve been told, and his heart sinks a little.

Then everything shifted after you sat next to him in English that day your friends seemed to be making fun of him about something. At first he thought you did it because you felt guilty, but when you seemed genuinely curious about his tattoos, he let his guard down. Which seemed to backfire pretty quickly. He had to endure hearing you say you didn’t like him, not once, but twice.

When he had lost all hope, you invited him to the pool. He almost didn't go, fully expecting you to turn him down politely, explaining that you were only being nice out of obligation, but none of that happened. When you had expressed your shared feelings for Eddie, he felt unadulterated joy. That was until he kissed you, and it seeped out of his skin, unable to be contained any further. Now, he got to walk hand in hand with you down the halls of the school, giving each other knowing looks when Tina stared the two of you down like she couldn’t believe you would have the audacity to hold hands.

You always initiated the pda, and he shook off the nerves just to feel the soft skin of your palm against his. He kissed you in private, not wanting any chance of a moment ruined. But you can’t seem to get any privacy for anything more than making out. You’ve come close to the idea of more but that’s all it seems to be. An idea. It’s a lot of getting interrupted in your bed, Eddie’s hand just having slid underneath your underwear and one of you freezing at the sound of the front door. You always proceed to hiss out ‘shit. Someone’s home,’ before the two of you scramble to get decent and when, nine times out of ten, your mother checks on you, you pretend to be studying.

Despite his -albeit joking- begging, you refuse the idea to do it in his van.

“I’m a bit of a romantic,” you argue. “So I don’t want our first time to be in the back of your smelly van.”

“Okay, it won’t be there.” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It’ll be up front.”

You shove him off of you as he laughs maniacally, now beside you on your bed. Taking your childhood stuffed rabbit, you whack him in the shoulder playfully, and he catches it quickly.

“How dare you use miss hoppity as a weapon!” He teases further.

“Oh, you’re in for it now, Munson.”

He screams dramatically when you roll over on him and attack his neck in rapid kisses, making him uncontrollably giggle. He had warned you he was ticklish in some parts, and you quickly learned where for your own personal enjoyment.

“Uncle! Uncle!” He gasps out between bouts of laughter, even though he loved the feeling of your plush lips against his neck. His beautiful neck that left your mouth watering and legs clenching at the sheer thickness of it. Just more space to place kisses. There’s a moment when he’s calming and you’ve placed both hands on his stomach, neither worrying about your mother coming to check up on the commotion you just caused. You feel him harden underneath you, just like every time you get pulled onto his lap. He can’t help it. The way your legs spread just for him, and how your shoulders relax with ease gets him going.

“What?” You whisper when he just continues to stare like you’ve told him he’s won the lottery.

“I haven’t taken you on a proper date, have I?” As he asks, his smile turns downward at the sudden realization.

“No, but I don’t mind.” You trace a finger from the back of his jaw to his chin and give a little pinch. “I like this time together. Just us.”

“Well, I’d be a terrible–” the words get caught in his throat as he almost says the big word. Boyfriend. Neither of you had broached the subject, and maybe that’s why he’s brought up the fact that he hasn’t taken you out. Whatever this relationship was, he was afraid he was going about everything in the wrong way. He should have taken you out before even kissing you, if any romantic driven book he’s read has told him. “-guy if I didn’t.”

“Okay,” you ignore his fumble, bumping your nose into his. “Take me out then.” You flatten your chest to him to feel the rumble of his victorious laughter, but then you remember where you are, and your bedroom door is open fully. “We need to get up before the guard does her rounds.”

You untangle yourself from him, giggling as he has to adjust himself if your mom actually does make an appearance.

“This Friday, sweetheart. I’m picking you up at seven o’clock, sharp.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

Eddie says he would still rather not be seen at any school event, but he shows up to your swim practice, fulfilling his promise of being in the closest spot on the bleachers as he’s allowed. He drives you home from every practice, bragging about you to you. It’s selfishly endearing listening to the way he talks about how proud he is of you for how talented you are. The rest of the girls on the team didn’t understand his insistence on catching at least the last ten minutes. Usually he would be meeting with hellfire, but he would try and make it just to cheer you on, even if he was explicitly told not to by your coach.

“He was here again today.” you hear Christina whisper to one of the girls. “I’m starting to think it’s not just for Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” She asks innocently.

“I mean… it’s kinda pervy, right?”

“Ugh, totally.” Another agrees.

A chill runs down your spine at the idea of that rumor spreading. Something in you snaps as you slam your locker door shut before turning to see their shocked faces.

“Eddie is a gentleman,” you glare at Tina. “I don’t care that you all think I’m a freak too, now that I’m dating him, but you need to remember I’m co-captain. Keep his name out of your mouth, and if I hear any sort of disrespect about him, you’re doing drills until you puke.”

“You’re only co-captain because you’re the coach's niece.” Christina crosses her arms defensively.

“The only reason I’m not captain is because of nepotism. He didn’t want you whining all the time, but I work my ass off harder than anyone in this room. You could stand to be a little more humble, Tina, considering how slow you were today.” Your hands shake as everyone looks back and forth between you and Christina like they’re at a tennis match, just waiting for a full on cat fight to break out. “So, do you understand me?”

The locker room is silent as you stare down Christina, challenging her to retort back, but she actually looks flustered and nods. It has the others nodding along in a chorus of agreement. There’s no more chit chat as the girls rush to finish getting dressed. You’re one of the first few to leave, leftover anger and adrenaline making you stomp on your way out. That is until you see Eddie and feel your whole body relax.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says his usual greeting.

Sudden tears burn your eyes as you rush forward to tackle him in a hug, causing him to stumble backwards a couple of steps. He chuckles, arm coming around your middle as he assumes you’re just that excited to see him. A sniffle gives you away immediately.

“Hey,” he says softly, pulling away to look at you. His eyebrows draw together in concern as he looks you over, hands on either side of your face to inspect closely. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yes, I just-“ you wipe your nose with your sleeve, feeling yourself get small. It’s the first time he’s seen you cry, and you don’t want to make him worry about why. “It’s stupid. Can you just take me home?”

“You can tell me.” His thumb moves back and forth over your cheek.

“Eds,” you let out a wet laugh. “I’m fine.” To prove this, you give him a kiss. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Alright,” he eyes you warily, and even the door to the locker room, but wraps an arm around your shoulder to walk out with you.

You’re sour for the rest of the week, not even indulging in teasing Tina about your relationship publicly. Eddie knows you’re in a mood, but he has no idea why. He tries everything he can think of; jokes, the little kisses on your collar bones that make you smile, and more jokes, but you just seem lost in your own world. For a moment, he worries you’re tired of him already and the pressure of being seen with him has become too overwhelming, and for his own sanity, he does some digging.

It takes bribing four different people. One offer to deal at a party sends him to Andrew Rickman, who gets some weed for a huge discount, to send Eddie to his girlfriend, Jessica Armstrong who finally sends him to Janice Freedman and a promise to pass along her phone number to Gareth, and he’s sure he’s figured it out.

On Friday’s you swim on your own. Eddie knows to leave you be for an hour before entering the pool house to catch you just as you’re towel drying your hair. He doesn’t like wandering the halls to risk getting yelled at, so he waits in his van, blasting music while smoking a joint.

“Have a good swim?” His arms wrap around your waist from behind, the smell of chlorine invading his nose.

“Mmhm,” you hum, melting into his hold. You had pushed yourself to relieve the frustration because you didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s date plan.

“Just ‘mmhm?’” He copied your tone, slowly placing kisses along your shoulder, and up toward your neck.

“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.” You remind him, voice stern, but he knows there isn’t any anger behind it.

“Got away with it last time didn’t I?” He spins you around by your hips, making you wonder what’s suddenly gotten him in this mood. Eddie captures your lips, pulling your body flush against his, and tips your head back to deepen the kiss. It leaves you breathless immediately with how desperate it feels.

“Eddie,” you sigh when he breaks it to move to your neck once more. His ring covered hand slides up your side, cupping your breast and giving a squeeze. It’s a shame he didn’t show up sooner or he could’ve done this when you were wearing nothing but a towel. “Seriously? Here?”

“No,” he snorts, trying to behave. “I’m a gentleman.”

“Not with that poking me in the thigh.”

Before he gets the chance to laugh, someone is clearing their throat, making the two of you jump apart. Tina looks to the side, looking more than embarrassed by the obvious bulge in Eddie’s pants, and your kiss stained lips.

“T-Tina,” you step in front of Eddie for his sake. “What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I signed up for extra practice time.” For the first time, Tina seems small, almost afraid to admit she needed the extra time in the water. “Guys aren’t allowed in the girls locker room, Munson.”

“I’ll wait outside.” Stiffly, he leans forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek from behind before rushing out.

“Sorry,” you apologize before she can berate you for it. “I thought we were alone.”

And strange enough, she doesn’t.

“I used to sign up for the latest slot so Declan and I could be alone when we first started dating.” She opens up her locker in search of her suit. “Just don’t go making a habit of it. Coach nearly tore my head off. Can’t imagine what he’d do to his niece.”

“Right,” you laugh sheepishly, but catch a glimpse of the Tina you became friends with two years ago. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” She hardens once again. “You’re doing drills for getting caught.”

You sigh. Tough Tina was back.

“Aye aye captain.”

After you rush out, tail between your legs, you smack Eddie in the shoulder with the sleeve of your hoodie. He flinched back like it hurt, but the smile completely gave him away.

“You dingus!” You try to keep your voice down, but the shrill tone still echoes around the building.

“Ow!” He laughs more than he does whine. “I can’t appreciate you for sticking up for me?”

“What?” You stop winding up for another smack.

“I heard what you did for me.” He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you close so he has to speak quietly. “No one’s ever stuck for me like that before.”

“Well, I- I was just being honest…” your cheeks burn at the way he looks down at you, one corner of his lips tugging up.

“Mm, well, I find your honesty extremely hot.”

“We can not get caught by Tina again.” As much as you wanted to reciprocate his appreciation, you weren’t looking forward to extra punishment for making her endure another shared kiss between you and eddie. “You need to take me home so I can get ready for our date.”

“What’re you gonna wear?”

“Only if you tell me where we’re going but it’s—“

“A surprise,” he finishes for you.

***

Eddie shows up at your door on time for once. He isn’t allowed to pick you up for school, or else you’d be chronically late for first period. He had told you to dress casual, but you can’t help but grab your short tan pleated skirt to match your white shirt with extended shoulders and a jean fabric vest. (A jest if you will). To top it all off, you wear your favorite beat up sneakers and ankle socks scrunched down. When you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat and you take down the hall, shouting at your parents that you’ll get the door. Your dad beats you to it on purpose, but he’s already met Eddie. They were uncertain at first, but Eddie was polite and followed your house rules. To an extent. It was all a front, and you knew it killed him just a little, but he also knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to date you.

He takes you to a local restaurant, nothing fancy, but also not cheap. you love it either way. It never really mattered what the two of you did together, as long as you were doing it together. He’s a bit quiet as you eat, eyes scanning the room, but after you get him to loosen up, he acts like he owns the place. He leans back in his seat, arm thrown over the back as he heavily flirts with you, not even wondering if the other patrons are staring or not.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles while fumbling with the crumbled bills when he pays. You know he doesn’t have a traditional job, selling drugs to help his uncle with expenses, and it makes you wonder how much extra he had to sell just to take you here. There’s a pause as he calculates if there’s enough for a tip before slapping the money down and smiling at you to wave off your worry.

“Eddie?” You gently take his hand after he’s pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you- you know you didn’t have to take me somewhere that nice, right? I would’ve been fine if you made me, like, chef boyardee at your trailer.”

“I gotta make my girl feel special sometimes, right?” He flashes you that confident smile and brings your hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. There’s a tug in your stomach when he calls you ‘my girl’ and you bite your bottom lip to stave off your sheepish grin. “Plus, the night’s not over yet. I got one more thing for you.”

You aren’t sure what to expect, but when he pulls up in front of his trailer, you feel a bit of a relief. Not because you don’t like being out in public with Eddie, you do, but you constantly worry about someone making a rude comment his way and upsetting him. In the time you’ve known him, though, the insults seem to roll off his back pretty easily, and you’re unsure how he does it. Every insult repeats in your mind for hours after.

“Give me five minutes.” Eddie leans over to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

“What, gotta hide all your cum socks before I go in?”

“I’ve got some class.” Eddie’s breath tickles your lips as he doesn’t lean back just yet. “I washed them yesterday.”

As he gets out of the van, you laugh to yourself, even when he’s unlocking the door and disappearing inside. You stay inside the vehicle, only unbuckling your seatbelt and glance outside the window. The openness of the area combined with how dark it is leaves you a little unsettled. It’s eerily quiet, and you can tell even with the windows rolled up. A lone cricket and distant barking seems to be the only noise going on around. Turning by your torso, you see there isn’t much to the back of his van, bits of carpet pulling up here and there along the seams, a guitar case covered in stickers similar to what’s on his jackets, and ashtrays with cigarette butts and half smoked joints. There’s a rug thrown in the middle, probably to cover a stain or his attempt to class things up. A sharp knock startled you out of observing the burnt orange and red curves and sharp corners.

“You okay there?” Eddie teases after opening the passenger door for you.

“It’s scary as shit out here.” You take his outstretched hand and hop out of the van. “It’s way too quiet.”

“Let me lead you to safety, princess.”

Inside, the trailer is lit by the dim lamp in the corner of the living area, but mostly by the scattered candles along random surfaces leading toward his bedroom. The low lighting flickers off the reflection in the mugs lined along the shelves, and shadows dancing along the walls. Eddie leads you down the short hallway before you can even comment on his romantic decor. You’ve gotten a peek of his bedroom in past visits, but the two of you usually would hang out on the couch, so you know he’s tidied it up for you. There’s still plenty of clutter along his dresser and desk, but his floor is clean from any clothes or trash strewn about.

He stops you at the end of his bed, your calves brushing against the sheets hanging over the side. Slowly, he brings up your hand to place a kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to shudder. A smile grows on his face and you can see it despite your hand being in the way. He lets go to drag the vest off of your shoulders and when it registers in your mind that he wants it off, you move with him, his face getting close to yours when he has to help your fumbling hands through the holes. You’ve been kissed by him a dozen times but when he dips his chin up to connect your lips, your skin burns in a want you’ve never felt before, as if he’s kissing you for the first time. You both move in sync, dipping down onto the bed, and not breaking contact until he’s hovering over you, delight making his features glow, but you can see the small bit of insecurity in his eyes while he seems to gather up his nerves.

“Will you be mine?” It’s quiet, intimate, barely above a whisper, but leaves his voice graveling deep enough to send a jolt up your spine. “My girl? Each second with you…” he trails off, shaking his head as his lips split into a grin. “It’s a piece of gold, sweetheart. I want you to be mine.”

“I-“ you huff out a laugh, his bangs moving with the small gust of air. “I thought I already was. Have been since you kissed me.”

If his grin could get any bigger, it just did, and his body relaxes, his weight heavier on top of you. The next kiss he gives you is all teeth and tongue, before he calms and kisses you proper. Kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, his lips and the gentle swipe of his tongue erasing all the others that came before. Your giggle is muffled into his mouth, trying to pull him closer than he already was, but there wasn’t any room left. If you could find it within yourself to let go of his shirt, he could be pressed firmly against you, but then you would just want his shirt off, skin to skin, only for that to still not be enough.

A small moan from you escapes into his mouth when he grinds his hips down into yours, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he does so. His large hands slide up your hips, your shirt coming up with them, and up your ribs until he’s exposed your chest. You hadn’t even bothered with a bra, not entirely expecting the night to go this far. His eyes widen at the surprise, and his cheeks go pink like he’s never had the pleasure of being inches from any pair of tits. Especially a pair like yours, beautiful and on display just for him. His mouth wraps around your right nipple, his teeth sinking into the perked up flesh, and a pained squeak falls past your lips, the sharp sting only working you up more. As an apology, he releases your nipple to swipe his tongue over it in circles, while his other hand cups your other breast, giving it a perfect squeeze. His lips move down, alternating between kisses and biting the soft flesh of your stomach until he’s positioned between your thighs. Looking up, as if asking permission, to which you nod vigorously in agreement, his hands wrap around your legs to rest them on the top of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You can’t help but squirm when he pushes up the fabric of your skirt with his left hand, the one with all the chunky rings, and leaves it there to rest and places one single kiss on your clothed pussy.

A broken whimper from you gets him into motion, removing his hand from the thigh for a brief moment, moving your panties to the side and licking up you slowly. Eager, he burrows down, his tongue swirling around your clit, nose pressed against your pubic bone, not minding the scratch of the coarse hair. In desperation to hold onto something to steady your uncontrollable squirming and maybe to just find a grip of reality while your mind floats into a high, your hand falls on his that kneads the flesh of your stomach. The lumpy metal digs into your palm, the pain bringing you further back to reality. His mouth, his hands, his heat leaves you for a moment, looking up to the panting mess that you are, and you whine at the lack of touch. One by one, Eddie removes the large jewelry while maintaining eye contact and tosses them to the side before slowly laying back down on his stomach. Slowly his eyes land on your drenched pussy, and you’d feel uncomfortable if it weren’t for the hunger in his eyes.

“Wait,” you breathe out. Removing the spare scrunchie from your wrist, you sit up to gather all of his hair quickly, apologizing when your fingers get tangled in the curls, and put it all into a messy bun. You don’t even get to soak up the image of his hair being held by something of yours before he’s gently laying you back down, and his mouth returns to his previous work.

His heavy hands hold your already trembling thighs apart. A hesitant finger hovers near your wet entrance, sliding in slowly. You sigh in relief until he experimentally strokes your core, breath caught in your throat and back arching slightly off the bed. Pleading words, begging breaths, you want for more of his hefty fingers inside you, stretching you out for what you expect to be more later. He complies easy, tongue and fingers moving in sync faster, enjoying every moan that falls past your lips. His name is whined out on repeat, each one raising in tone and intensity along with the pressure in your stomach. He laps up the mess you make as you clench around his fingers and fall over the edge for the first, but not final, time of the night. Soft kisses with the intention of being soothing are scattered along your thighs and stomach as his soaked fingers rub your overstimulated clit, letting you catch your breath as you ride the high just a moment longer.

“Fuck,” you huff, a dazed smile following. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Eddie moves so he’s hovering over you, chin glistening with his work. “Fantasy novels.”

“No, seriously.” With your thumb, you wipe the wetness off of his chin for him. There’s a beat of silence and you realize he isn’t joking. “Wait, seriously?”

“Well… yeah.”

You sit both of you up, scooting up his mattress until your back touches the wall. There’s the pull of rejection in his chest the further you move away, the absence of your touch and the distance between the two of you sends a message that you don’t want to go further anymore.

“But you-” you pause, adjusting your shirt so it isn’t exposing your chest. “You… you’re you.”

“That’s the problem, apparently.” The defeat in his voice makes you wince in regret.

“No, I mean… you’re in a metal band and-” you almost don’t say it. “And I’ve heard… y’know.”

“That I’ll give a discount for putting out?” Amusement flickers in his eyes at that particular rumor. “Okay, I let one girl give me a handy, but that’s it. I’m a massive virgin otherwise.”

“Oh.” Your voice is small, going quiet so you can process what he’s told you. “Well, if you aren’t comfortable we don’t have to.”

“I set up the place for that purpose.” your stomach twists at the image of him excitedly getting ready, lighting the candles to set the mood all with the cute little smile he gets. “Unless you…”

“I’m not.” You almost feel bad for admitting it, but you didn’t regret losing your virginity to someone else. He didn’t seem jealous, just understanding. “And I wouldn’t mind.”

Eddie’s smile grows. “Good ‘cause I bought an entire box of condoms.” Leaning over, he pulls out the comically large box from his bedside table.

“Were you expecting a sex marathon?” You gawk.

“That’d be ideal.”

You shut him up by swiftly removing your shirt and tossing it in his face. He’s quick to pull it off and toss it to the side, but you’re quicker in moving forward, hands falling on his shoulders and pushing him down so he’s on his back. If his hair were loose, you’d be distracted by the halo it created around his bed, but it isn’t. Instead it’s already fighting the scrunchie, his bangs falling down in sparse strands, making him look more innocent than he ever has. Crawling into his lap, you take care in placing yourself directly on his growing hard-on. His hands slide up your thighs to your waist, gripping tightly while you run yours up the entirety of his torso. A couple tugs on the fabric is your way of asking him to sit up enough so you can take it off. Immediately, your eyes land on the one tattoo you haven't had the pleasure of looking at for longer than a few seconds, and slowly you take in the small patch of hair in the middle of his chest. What gets your mouth watering is the thicker patch leading down underneath his jeans. On his back, you can see the peaks of his hip bones leading down to the short valley to his happy trail.

You drag your nails over the thicker patch of hair, smiling to yourself at his sharp intake of air, the upward tilt of his chin from your peripheral, working him up to squirm just as much as you had. He’s a whimpering mess while you only touch him anywhere besides the one place he wants. Desperate, he moves your hips for you, begging for any amount of friction. Almost defiantly, you scoot back, sitting on his thighs instead, and he huffs indignantly. You smirk, bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling fully at his pouting.

“Please,” he begs breathless, hips jutting into the air despite no available pressure from your weight.

Giving in, you unbutton his jeans, finding the way they pop open satisfying, and tug slowly on his zipper. You can perfectly see the outline of his dick through his tight boxer briefs. You want to take your time, slowly pull his jeans off first and then his underwear, but that flies out of the window when you see just how girthy he is. You don’t undress him in any manner, running the palm of your hand up his length, a long moan filling the room. Leaning down, you kiss his stomach, his muscles jolting in surprise. You slip your hand past the waistband, fingertips brushing against the tip, already dripping at your light touch. Experimentally, you give a light squeeze when you’ve wrapped your hand fully around him. Using his pre-cum as aid, you start slow, his moans coming from deep in his chest. Slowly, you start increasing your speed, dropping kisses along his skin when he seems to get too quiet.

“Baby, you gotta stop,” Eddie pants. You pull away completely, confusion and hurt covering your features. “No, no,” he takes your face between his hands. “I’m just gonna explode if you keep touching me like that, and I’m not quite finished with you yet.”

You pause, blink once as heated shock covers your body over the realization. You almost made him cum too fast. Pride fills your chest, and you aren’t sure if it’s a bad feeling to have, but he returns your sheepish smile by grabbing a condom from the box. With fascination, you watch him as he rolls it on, not having had the luxury of witnessing this part. It was too dark or too quick before. There’s a bit of a struggle and you reach out to help but stop yourself, not wanting to take over.

“Got it,” he smiles.

“And you’re sure you want to…?” You aren’t afraid, but this is new to him. You don’t want him to be afraid. Everything should be perfect, though you know nothing ever is.

“Do you?”

“Of course, Ed’s.” Running a hand down his chest to his stomach, to land on his strained cock, you give a reassuring smile. Before you climb back in his lap, he helps you out of your underwear, watching the way you smoothly throw a leg over him and line yourself up expertly without even looking. Raising your brows to wordlessly ask one more time, he answers by resting his hands on your hips, eyes never leaving yours. As you sink slowly down, there’s the familiar burning stretch that causes you to whimper, even more by his girth, but it’s all covered up by his moans. You bottom out, wiggling experimentally while he adjusts to the feeling.

And then you start moving your hips.

Slow at first, grinding your pussy into him, his head falling back onto the mattress and eyes squeezing shut. If he had any nails, they’d be digging into your skin, leaving crescents behind to remind you of this moment later, but his fingers are dull, pushing and pulling you into a perfect rhythm. Leaning down, you press kisses and soft bites onto his neck, your tits flat against his chest and moving with every desperate thrust he gives into you. You support yourself by your forearms, stopping your movements and letting him fuck himself into you. He’s a beautiful flustered mess when you look at him. He opens his eyes just a sliver to catch your smile.

“Feel good?” You ask, voice soft.

“Mm-hm.” He can’t even speak, brows furrowed together roughly. “‘M gonna—“

“Go ahead.” You place a kiss on his pulse point, swallowing your moans as he thrusts harder, hitting your g-spot. His arms wrap around your waist holding you still, his hips becoming more erratic. “C’mon baby,” you coo.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, giving a few good thrusts before his hips stutter. You give him a moment to catch his breath, the only sound in the room being his panting.

Leaning back, you smother his face in kisses, feeling his laughter vibrate underneath your chest.

“Hey,” you say semi-serious, his soft eyes meeting yours. “You did great.”

“I sure hope so.” He finally slides out of you and you whine in indignation, missing the feeling of him already.

“You did.” You insist.

There’s this moment where he almost looks like he believes you and you get this warm mushy feeling in your chest at the realization that you’ve had your first time together. Not in the back of his van but in a lovingly decorated trailer with zero chances of being interrupted. To top it all off, you’re also officially his girlfriend.

“Sweetheart?” He breaks you out of your revere. “Kinda need you off of me to get this thing off.”

“And then we cuddle.”

He smiles. “And then we cuddle.”

Rolling onto your back, you realize you’ve still got your skirt on, laughing to yourself as you take it off. You look around and find a shirt, unsure of whose it could be, and slip it on, watching Eddie walk out of the room despite promising to get back in bed. A moment later, he returns with a damp rag, gently spreading your legs and cleaning you up the best he knows how.

“I got it, thank you.” You take it from him gently, getting the spots he couldn’t and hand it back. He immediately tosses it behind his shoulder, hoping it lands in his laundry basket. “Eddie, gross.”

“No time, my dear.” He crawls in right behind you, pulling his comforter over the both of you so you don’t end up cold. His nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, lips leaving soft kisses on the top of your spine.

“I can’t sleep over,” you remind him, eyelids already feeling heavy.

“I know.”

“My dad wants me back before midnight.”

“I know.”

A hand snakes over your side, wrapping around your middle to pull you flush into his chest. He breathes you in, the smell of your honey shampoo tingling his senses.

“Eddie?”

“Hm?” He sounds sleepy and you know you’re in trouble.

“We can officially do it in your van, now.”

“Finally,” he teases.

Tag list: @hesvoid3434 @jane-ways @akiratoro420 @ali-r3n @stupid-infinity (there were a couple of you it wouldn't let me tag, sorry <;3)

#eddie munson x female reader #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson x you #Eddie Munson x y/n #Eddie Munson fanfic #Eddie munson #my writing.

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 1 year

Note

Hey! could you please write something about Aemond hearing his name in a conversation, he stays at the door sure he will hear something bad but instead he hears the lady talk about her sex dreams about him

Thank you so much💙

Warnings: Smut. Word count: ~1400

Aemond strides down the corridor of the Red Keep, in the direction of the training yard. It is mid-morning and his schedule runs like clockwork - he has a sparring session with Ser Criston Cole in 15 minutes and fully intends to arrive early, he always does.

Raucous laughter echoes down the hallway. He catches the source of it through a crack in the solar door, which has been left ajar. Helaena’s ladies in waiting are all reclining on the couches inside, though there is no sign of the Princess which they are in service of.

He scowls. He doesn’t understand why they aren’t shut away when not in Helaena’s presence. They are always laughing, it gives him a migraine. What could possibly be so funny?

The giggles subside when one of them speaks in hushed tones.

“I had a dream last night…about Prince Aemond.”

His ears prick up at this, his curiosity piqued, and he hovers to the left of the doorframe, so he can listen in undetected. He is certain that what is to follow will be some gruesome retelling of the One-Eyed Prince being the source of night terrors, it would not be the first time he has overheard unkind words about himself.

“Oh? Do share.” One of them pipes up.

“I-I can’t.” She stammers. “It is improper.”

Aemond’s eye widens at this. He leans forward, peering through the gap to see which of them it is. She is pretty. Beautiful, actually. He has never bothered to take the time to properly look at any of them before, usually doing his best to avoid them at all costs, but there is no denying that she is fairer than any woman he has ever looked upon. He hopes more than anything that the rest of this wretched gaggle can convince her to divulge further details.

More giggles erupt, before a voice chimes in.

“Oh, go on, your secret’s safe with us!”

“Well…we were coupling…and it felt good…I have heard that lying with a man is painful and uncomfortable, but I was enjoying it, and after…he pleasured me with his mouth…”

This is a chorus of gasps, followed by more laughing.

Aemond feels his heart hammering inside of his chest. It seems so loud he is certain the ladies in the solar will notice and catch him in the act of eavesdropping. His skin flushes hot from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears. He is in utter disbelief at what he has just heard.

“Were you not repulsed by it? He is disfigured after all.”

“No.” She rebuffs. “Actually, I find Prince Aemond rather dashing…”

Aemond pushes off of the wall and hurries away. He has heard enough. He does not know how to handle the words he was just privy to. They were not meant for his ears and yet he cannot undo hearing them. What is he supposed to do with the way they have set his pulse racing? He never asked for this, had never even noticed her before today, and yet he cannot help replaying the words in his mind.

We were coupling.

It felt good.

He pleasured me with his mouth.

I find Prince Aemond rather dashing.

For the first time in his life he is late to the training yard. Ser Criston greets him with a reproachful look, before Aemond suffers through what is undoubtedly the worst sparring session he has participated in since he first took up a wooden sword as a child.

We were coupling.

His sword is knocked from his hand.

It felt good.

His shield splinters under a blow from a morningstar.

He pleasured me with his mouth.

He is knocked to the ground.

I find Prince Aemond rather dashing.

The point of Criston’s sword is at his throat.

“Is everything alright, My Prince?” Criston asks with genuine concern, offering out a hand and helping Aemond back to his feet.

Aemond’s eye is wide, his breathing laboured, and not from the exertion of training.

“I-I think I am unwell, Cole. Please excuse me.”

He stalks back inside, seeking solace in the library. Pulling a copy of Unnatural History from the shelf, his favourite book to lose himself in, he settles into an armchair and begins to read.

“The bloodmages of Valyria used wyvern stock to create dragons…we were coupling…The bloodmages of Valyria…it felt good…”

“Seven hells!” He slams the book shut upon realising he cannot get past the first line, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

He pleasured me with his mouth.

He has never heard of a man doing such a thing to a woman. Despite the vulgarity of it, he is intrigued. He places his copy of Unnatural History on the nearby table and stands, making his way towards the end of the library that contains the more salacious reading material.

He takes a quick look around to make sure the prying eyes of the maesters aren’t watching him, before scanning the shelves and selecting the tome he feels will be most relevant for what he is attempting to research.

It only takes a few seconds of flicking through the pages before he finds what he’s looking for. Graphic descriptions of how women can be prepared for intercourse, and even brought to peak, via the use of lips and tongue.

His eye widens and his breathing quickens as he imagines licking her in her most intimate area. It’s only when he realises that his cock is now straining painfully against the laces of his breeches that he hurriedly places the book back on the shelf and retires to his chambers.

He lays on his bed that afternoon, spilling into his own hand, with her name falling from his lips like an urgent prayer.

She is there at the dining table when he goes to supper that evening. It is not unusual for Helaena to invite her ladies in waiting to dine with them, and usually Aemond sits at the far end of the table, avoiding eye contact and all attempts at conversation. However, this evening feels different. Prior to tonight he had never heard her say she found him “dashing”, he had never pleasured himself to the thought of burying his face between her thighs.

Guilt blooms heavily in his chest as he takes his seat. His food remains untouched. Every time he looks up he catches her eyes upon him. Does she know? How could she?

In truth, he cannot keep his eyes off of her either and it is probably that that drives her to stare as she does.

On an ordinary evening, Aemond sips delicately at his wine throughout the meal, leaving the cup almost full by the time he leaves the table. However, tonight he finds himself draining his first and gulping greedily at the second. The calming effect it has on his nerves is most agreeable to him.

He pleasured me with his mouth.

His grip on the edge of the wooden table turns his knuckles white, as he struggles to compose himself. His sigh of relief is almost audible as the meal draws to a close and everyone begins to retire for the evening.

He catches sight of her outside of her own bedchamber door as he is returning to his. Fuelled by the confidence that two cups of wine on an empty stomach has granted him, he lengthens his strides, catching up to her before she is able to make it inside and close the door.

She turns, startled, as he grabs her arm, pulling her towards him.

“My Prince?” She asks, a hint of fear and confusion pinching her delicate features as her brow furrows slightly.

Acting on his new found boldness, Aemond leans down to whisper in her ear, his voice husky. “I heard what you said earlier.”

He regards her face carefully as he pulls back, but there is no apparent recollection, so he decides to be more daring. Leaning in once more he says “Just so you know, if I were going to pleasure you with my mouth, I’d do it before I stuck my cock in your cunt, not after.”

He lets her go and walks away with a smirk. When he chances a glance back over his shoulder and sees that she is still frozen in place, her mouth agape, he knows that she knows exactly what he is talking about and his words have had the desired effect.

“Sweet dreams, my lady.” He calls behind him.

#aemond targaryen #aemond stannies #prince aemond targaryen #aemond #aemond one eye #pro aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #hotd #aemond targaryen fan fiction #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen fan fic #aemond targaryen fanfic #hotd fan fiction #hotd fanfiction #hotd fanfic #hotd fan fic

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silverbladexyz · 3 months

Text

TW: Mentions of death, injuries, self-loathing. Part 2 to this. Part 3 is here.

"I can't believe you sometimes. What if you had actually been killed because of your recklessness?!"

"But I wasn't! Even if combat isn't my strong suit, I had it all under control; and besides, these wounds are nothing compared to what we've faced before!"

In the normally tranquil environment of the Port Mafia's infirmary, two voices argued back and forth. One laced with worry and anger, the other laced with guilty adamance. A pair of best friends seemed to be the reason behind this noise; with their stubbornness a guise of the true feelings that they harboured for each other.

"Are you seriously kidding me right now? Even if you had it all under control, that doesn't mean you can gamble your life away like it's nothing! How do you think everyone would feel if you died? Do you want to put them through more pain and suffering that could've been prevented if you were more cautious? Do you even care?!"

"..."

Instead of replying, you turned away, suddenly finding the window to be more interesting than whatever was going on right now.

He was right. You didn't think properly about the consequences before you jumped straight in to engage with the enemy, even if you may have had a backup plan.

"... I'm sorry."

It was soft, but Chuuya managed to catch it.

He gave a small sigh, his shoulders dropping as the tension in them wore out. You fiddled with your bandages, not having the courage to look at him in the eyes. Did you even deserve to, afterall? When you worried him sick after he learnt that he almost lost you?

You heard his footsteps approaching you, and mentally prepared for the next thing that he was going to say.

Only for him to somewhat tug you into his arms.

Your eyes widened, and you blinked several times before realising that Chuuya Nakahara, your best friend, was hugging you.

His breath fanned against your collarbone as he buried his face into your shoulder. Strong arms held you close to him, being mindful of the injuries that you sustained on your body- yet the grip they held you in was tight but secure.

"... You idiot. Don't you dare do that again."

It was the most vulnerable you had ever seen him.

You hugged him back, inhaling his rich scent as an unknown heat bloomed in your chest.

"I won't. I promise, Chuuya."

His warmth never left your memories.

Now, you watched as he stood with her, holding her hand. They were too far away for you to make out their words, but whatever she said made Chuuya laugh. A genuine, happy laugh that seemed so much more different from the short chuckles he normally gave you.

He put his arm around her shoulder, and you unconsciously hugged your body as you felt yourself getting colder. It was the third of December- the start of another winter in Yokohama. Marking the six month anniversary of their relationship.

A wry smile made it's way on your face as Chuuya pulled Yasuko in for a kiss. Even though it was a short peck, it was enough to make your heart twist in longing that exemplified whenever you were around him. It was stupid; you knew that your best friend deserved to have someone much better than the monster you were, but it didn't stop you from wishing that you were her. Someone that was a sight for sore eyes, with an aura brighter than the blue skies- someone that could get Chuuya mesmerised.

You even noticed how he became slightly more distant in the friendship. You knew that he wasn't doing it on purpose; he was still the great best friend that he always was, but the little signs were there. Holding your hand so that you wouldn't get lost in the crowd had diminished to just staying close to you. Whenever you called him on a free day to ask if he wanted to hang out with you, he would apologise, saying 'I have a date with Yasuko later'. And the fact that you had the same free days really said something about how much they meant to him.

You walked away, the sight getting too much to handle. Once you were at a safe distance, you crumpled against a wall, biting down on the inside of your mouth to stop the tears from leaking out. A higher-ranking mafioso like you, crying over some crush? Pathetic. An unfitting model for your subordinates who looked up to you as a great unflinching leader.

"Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty." You chuckled bitterly, digging your nails into your palms. You hated it- the soft gaze in Chuuya's eyes whenever Yasuko was mentioned, the way that he gently held her hand, the way he became much more sweet and patient with her that was almost nothing like how he acted around you- you hated it all. You regretted not confessing to him sooner all those years ago.

But you were only the side character in their romance; forever doomed to support them while you suffered in silence.

Was there something or somebody that you could blame for this agony that you were currently in? Destiny, perhaps? Or even Cupid? Those names only made you scoff as you stuffed your hands into your pockets.

There was nobody you could blame except for yourself.

Perhaps it would have been better if you were the one who saved Yasuko, not Chuuya. They would have never spent as much time with each other, and you'd still have a chance at romancing him. None of this would have happened if the roles were reversed at that time.

But who were you kidding? One way or another, they’d end up together by the red string of fate. The most perfect match in all of Yokohama that could put every other couple to shame. And you'd always be the third wheel- the 'best friend' whose sacrifices went unseen just so that they could be happy.

Or maybe it would have been better if Yasuko didn't exist in the first place.

"-Y/N? Y/N?"

A voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you blinked a bit before refocusing onto the girl in front of you.

"Is everything okay? N-not that you have to tell me what's wrong, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here for you."

Yasuko looked at you with a concerned expression, her eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.

Those innocent, beautiful eyes of hers that had held Chuuya captive in their gaze.

Ah, right. You were currently in the shopping mall with her, because her boyfriend had asked you to accompany her like some sort of bodyguard. And who were you to refuse, as his best friend who was always there for him? Well, you were grateful that Chuuya trusted you enough to let you near Yasuko. You had seen how protective he was of her.

"... Nothing. I'm alright."

You smiled at her, all traces of your previous emotions now gone. How could you have let your composure slip so easily? This hangout was so that you could 'get closer' with her, not reminiscing about the pathetic past that held you captive in this agonising love.

She frowned a little, but before she could say anything else, you jumped at the opportunity to distract her. Anything that could make you temporarily forget your pain for one moment was what you desperately needed now.

"Oh, looks like they're selling discounted jewellery! Let's take a look! You might find something that you like."

Grabbing her wrist, you dragged her towards the jewellery store despite having no intentions to buy anything. You simply wanted her to be distracted by the precious stones, so meticulously cut and fit into fine metal that it was laughable how they were mostly for show. A valuable trinket only made to be admired and forgotten at the end of the day, even when so much blood had been spilled over them. Blood that would forever stain the hands of a sinner such as you.

"Oh! I remember Chuuya taking me to a similiar store! He bought me a ring; I said that there was no need, but he insisted." Yasuko glanced down at the gold-and-red circlet that lay snugly around her index finger, her gaze becoming shyer as she profoundly remembered the day that her beloved boyfriend had bought it for her.

Your own silver ring that he gifted to you on your 18th birthday paled in comparison to the 5-carat Burmese ruby that sat atop her finger. It was a harsh reminder of who the buyer really preferred from between the two of you. That twisted feeling in your gut resurfaced, but you pushed it back down. You had no more frivolous hopes that he would one day realise you were the one whom he truly belonged with.

"Haha... did he now? I didn't know Chuuya was such a romantic. Did you know that rubies symbolise passionate and undying love?" You smiled as she blushed; the redness on her cheeks rivaling the shade of the precious gemstone that was proof of his commitment to her.

People were right when they said love hurts, but they never mentioned that it was the most painful sensation in the world. All the stab wounds and burns and whatnot that you had experienced from your enemies were nothing compared to a broken heart. A heart that was made to be torn apart to pieces as it weeps for the love it would never get.

Something cold brushed against your wrist, and you looked down to see a bracelet made up of the most exquisite yellow topaz. Yasuko held an identical one in her hand, her expression almost bashful as she faced you.

"I... I wanted to get matching bracelets for the two of us. I know it's only been a few months since we became friends, but being around you has really brightened up my life. I'm glad that we got to meet each other, and I hope that our friendship continues to grow and strengthen!"

She smiled at you; a smile so full of purity and beauty that it would've made many men fall onto her knees in front of her. It was a smile that didn't belong in the dark depths of Yokohama- instead, it belonged to a goddess that was too good for this world. A goddess that clearly deserved to call Nakahara Chuuya hers. Just seeing that smile made you feel infinitely more guilty about the nasty thoughts you had about her each night.

Yasuko's smile faded, worried that she might have overstepped your boundaries due to your silence.

"S-sorry... I should've asked you beforehand if you wanted to buy matching bracelets. Please don't force yourself to buy it just to make me happy-"

You shut her up by slipping it onto your right wrist, the topaz seeming to reflect the sun's golden rays back at you. Shooting her a smile, you grasped Yasuko's hand and put the other bracelet onto her left wrist joint. It fit nicely; just like anything else that she wore.

"May our friendship last until death do us part." It was a pact that you had sworn with Chuuya before. And you always kept your word, never breaking a promise to someone no matter how bizarre or extreme it was.

How unfortunate, really, that death did you apart too early.

@circinuus @riiwrites @ruanais @justcallmesakira @yasu-masashige @oldworldpoolhall @heartsfourdazai @ashthemadwriter-uwu @sariel626 @yuugen-benni @chocsra @iridescentdove

#silverbladexyz #no way did I just pull a Heather in my fic #it's a good song though #i hope this was okay #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x female reader #chuuya x gn reader #chuuya x fem!reader #part 2 of unrequited love fic #yellow topaz symbolises friendship btw #unrequited love

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hjemne · 7 months

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I could go on for years and years about Knives in Trimax, but THIS makes me physically unwell. Knives was the one who was constantly worrying that humans weren't going to accept him or Vash, and he was the one who first raised the question of becoming friends with humans, not Vash. When he asks Conrad (the second human he's ever met) what he thinks of him and Vash, there is a genuine fear of being rejected and is so relieved by Conrad's answer he cries. Knives is the sensitive, emotional child who needs the support of Vash, Rem and other humans to feel like he has a place in the world.

Conrad says if they can love someone with their whole heart, they'll be able to work and live together, but then what happens immediately after?

Knives and Vash discover Tesla. She is the only other Independent like them, and humans treated her like a science specimen and experimented on her body fell apart and she died horribly. Knives is 1 year old, and he's having to process THIS, knowing he can no longer trust any adult around him. Knives - again, remember he's the sensitive one - faints and Vash says he wishes he had also been able to cut himself off from the agony of the realisation too.

I absolutely adore that bottom panel of Knives' hope that they can coexist being stripped away. The boy he was just is not compatible with the world he finds himself in and this is the foundation of his adult self we see throughout the rest of Trimax.

With Knives unconscious, the focus then shifts to Vash who has the chance to confront Rem. It's incredibly significant that Knives is not part of that conversation and never lets himself be emotionally vulnerable around Rem again to have a similar talk with her where he might have been able to process his feelings like Vash did.

Vash actually tries to stab himself with a knife (and there's metaphors in that for someone else to unpack) and Rem prevents him, injuring herself in the process. Vash then turns against Rem and tries to kill her, severely wounding her and saying he won't shed a single tear for her before suddenly becoming overwhelmed by remorse and rushing to save her. Vash, who had been refusing food, then finally starts to eat as Rem tells him he's got a blank ticket to the future and not to throw his life away because there are good people out there. Only after Rem and Vash have come to this truce / understanding does Knives wake up.

He has realised that Rem not only knew about Tesla, not only kept her a secret, but was also involved in her abuse. He goes from having a heart absolutely bursting with love and hope, to learning that even the person he loved was capable of unspeakable violence against his kind. His childhood, his dreams, his support is all taken from him, and when Vash seems to forgive and forget, he's also cut off from the one person who could fully understand him. He either genuinely forgets or (what I think is more likely) pretends to have no memory of the discovery. This is where Knives is separated from both Vash and humans, and this is the point where he starts on his path of no return.

KNIVES was the one who loved humans, who was deeply deeply upset at the thought of not being accepted by them. When he finds Tesla, he realises he and Vash can never be fully accepted or fully safe, and his actions are driven from this (justified) fear of what people will do to him if they find him. But he knows he is stronger and smarter than humans, he knows that he has the power and ability to protect himself, Vash and future Independents from suffering Tesla's fate. Knives was and is right about humans posing an existential threat to Plants, both dependent and independent, and his decision to crash the ships was not done out of malice but terror. Knives NEVER took the first shot. If Tesla hadn't been murdered, I really, really doubt he would have turned out the way he did.

#Also I think it's worth pointing out that after their final battle #Knives takes on the blame for everything that happened #(especially for separating himself and Vash) and asks Vash to kill him because there's nothing left for him and no way to undo his actions #he was deeply deeply traumatised and still at the end is able to realise that that still doesnt justify the pain hes caused (esp Vash)#trimax knives makes me lose my goddamn mind and i hate what they did to him in tristamp if im honest #millions knives #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun knives #vash the stampede #trigun maximum spoilers #trimax spoilers #this is the last chapter of vol 6 and the first few of vol 7 if you're interested!

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sannasruins · 11 months

Text

my letters to you

Aizawa Shouta x reader

type: fluff to angst

warning: major character death, non-descriptive violence, grief

a/n: i did not intend for this to be so long, i'm already working on the next part, i just wanted to get this out since it's already at this length, this is probably the saddest thing i have ever written, sorry in advance. reader is referred to with she/her pronouns

word count: 4.7k

As a Pro Hero, you had known since your school days, the job held the risk of one day not letting you return home. While it was a scary thought, devoting your life to a job that very well may take it, you had no doubt in your mind that being a hero was what you were meant to do. So, from a very young age, you had decided you wouldn’t ever let yourself get too close to someone, especially not your fellow hero’s in-training, so you wouldn’t have to suffer the grief of losing them, and they not have to suffer loosing you, if it ever came down to it. That was, until you met Aizawa Shouta in your first year at UA high school.

He sat two chairs behind you your first year of school, the quiet one in his loud friend group, and though many people didn’t seem to see it, you saw how incredibly kind that boy way. You saw in him what you hoped others might see in you, that he was truly born to be a hero. You decided, looking at that dark-haired boy who sat two seats behind you your first year at a high school for heroes, that he was going to be someone that you let get too close.

You spent your school days studying and training with your peers, and the evenings after school walking home with Shouta, and on those trips to and from school, you slowly fell in love with him, and him with you, not that you were aware.

The two of you would often walk home as the sun was setting, along the river, on lookers would see the couple, bathed in the orange light. The girl, a large smile on her face as she talked excitedly about nothing in particular, looking forwards towards the sunset and their destination, and the boy, a small, barely noticeable smile on his, looking at her as she moved forwards with a bounce in her step.

Walks home slowly morphed into afterschool dates, not that either of you had the courage to actually call them that, often stopping by things like bakeries and crepe stands. On your first visit to a crepe stand, you ordered the cult classic strawberries and cream, and much to your disgruntlement, Shouta ordered dark chocolate on dark chocolate, your face taking on an expression of disbelief as he took the first bite of his and seemed to genuinely enjoy it. He mistook your expression, and thinking you wanted to try his crepe, shyly offered you a bite. Feeling bad for judging the sweet boy standing next to you, you took a tentative bite from the crepe, maybe it wouldn’t taste as bad as you thought it would! Maybe now that you’re older you’ll enjoy dark chocolate more than when you last tried it! Alas, dark chocolate has remained the same, and so has your taste, as you make a displeased face and after swallowing, stuck out your tongue in disgust. He let out a little laugh at your expression, and asked you if you didn’t like dark chocolate, and you replied that no, nobody with normal taste buds should like dark chocolate, it tastes like dirt! He chuckled again and the two of you started back on your trek home, you finding solace in your normal and tasty crepe, and every few minutes for the rest of the walk, adding more reasons and defamation to dark chocolate. Even though you were dissing something he enjoyed, he didn’t seem to mind, as he listened with a small smile on his face, eating his crepe and watching you.

The two of you often frequented an arcade that was on your path home, having almost weekly competitions on who could beat who’s high score, Shouta never seemed to the comparative type but when it was just you two, you could see a rare grin forming on his face as the levels increased in difficulty and he got closer and closer to the besting number, the glint in his eye wasn’t just from the reflection of the arcade game’s screen, and it gave you butterflies.

On the last day before summer break, your second year of school, you asked Aizawa Shouta to meet you behind the school building after classes had let out. It wasn’t too strange that the two of you were meeting after school, since you usually walked home together, but why behind the school instead of in front by the entrance gates was confusing to him.

You were waiting there for him, with a small white box in your hands, and as he approached you, you bowed and put your arms out, presenting him with the little package. “Aizawa Shouta,” your voice trembled but you continued on, “will you please go out with me?”. You felt him take the box, so you let go and quickly straightened yourself, but did not raise your eyes from the dirt you were standing on, too nervous to meet his. It was quiet for a long time, and your heart began to sink at the prospect of rejection. You finally looked back up at him, tears starting to sting in your eyes, only to have your eyes land on a Shouta Aizawa whose face was so red it looked as if it may start to glow.

“Are… are you blushing?” You questioned him, fear tinged the edges of your words. His eyes shot up to meet yours, only for a second before returning to the ground, and he gave a shy nod of his head.

“I,” his voice caught in his throat, like it wasn’t ready to yet talk, “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Is that a no?” disappointment heavy in your tone.

“No!” he shouted, and then, looking as if his sudden outburst was a surprise even to him, he continued, “I mean, I think you’re really cool, and smart, and I really enjoy hanging out with you, and I think you’re so pretty.” As he lists his compliments towards you his volume lowered in embarrassment, his last word being barely above a whisper.

“So,” he quickly started again, voice returned now to a normal volume, “I would like to go out with you, l/n y/n.”

The tension you didn’t know had built up in your body suddenly released, stress of rejection melting off of you and into the earth below. You let out a shaky laugh, tears that had been caught in your eyes spilling over the brim and down your cheeks, your throat slowly untightening from the adrenaline. “Thank you, I’m so glad.”

“Oh no nono,” he said worriedly, taking a step towards you, and reaching out an unsteady hand to brush a tear away with his knuckle. “Please don’t cry, why are you crying?”

You laughed, “I really don’t know,” and you grinned, “I’m just so happy.”

He blushed and looked away, a hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck, “yeah, me too,” he murmured.

You two started the walk home from the back of the school, your hand shyly reaching for his.

“What’s in this, anyways?” he asked in reference to the little white box you had presented him earlier.

“Oh,” you blushed, embarrassed again, “its homemade dark chocolate.” He looked down at the box in his free hand, and a smile played at his lips.

That day on lookers would see the couple, bathed once more in the orange light, next to the slow flowing river. The girl, a large smile on her face as she talked excitedly about nothing in particular, looking forwards towards the sunset and their destination, and the boy, a small, barely noticeable smile on his, looking at her as she moved forwards with a bounce in her step, but this time, they were hand in hand.

Having yet joined a hero’s agency to intern at since Aizawa hadn’t either, when you were offered a place at His Purple Highness’ agency along with him and your mutual friend, you jumped at the opportunity to have even more time with your boyfriend. The two of you had kept your relationship relatively quiet in fear of it affecting the opportunities you both would be offered in the future, not wanting to be barred from working along one another. It was the middle of your second year when one of Aizawa Shouta’s and your friend, Oboro Shirakumo, was killed during your hero work studies. You were there with Shouta but had been knocked out by the Villain Garvey’s stock quirk and left to watch in dazed horror though foggy vision the violence that continued. It started to rain. You watched your beloved Aizawa fight the villain by himself, a boy who never thought he was meant for solo combat, doing what he must to protect the nursery school children, knowing he truly was the last wall between them and the villain. You watched him defeat Garvey, and as back up arrived, watched as he was congratulated on his victory, alone. Your barely conscious body had been picked up at that point, paramedics moving you towards an ambulance. You saw your Shota’s gaze follow a pointed finger, to where Oboro’s body had been removed from the rubble and gently placed into a body bag, already stained with cool blood, mixing with the wet ground under him. Rain had started to pour by then, the cold missiles stinging the skin of your face, it mingles with the warm salt of your tears. You desperately, and weakly, push away the medics trying to help you, and stumble towards him, standing in the freezing downpour. When you reach him, you throw your arms around him, and the two of you sink to your knees. You press his cooled face into the warmer skin of your chest, squeezing him tightly as your body gently shakes with unsure sobs. If he cried, you couldn’t tell, the two of you sat kneeling in the rain for a long time, long past the point of soaking you to the bone. Hizashi joins you two at some point, mourning in the rain together in a way no children should have to, and when told to move out of the rain, he speaks for the three of you in saying that the weather and your place in it was befitting of the occasion.

After the shocking death of your friend, Aizawa changed, he was still the boy you loved, but he poured more and more time and effort into solo training, not ever wanting to have to rely on others in combat. He got it into his head that he, someone with a non-combat based quirk, still had to be able to protect even his fellow combat based quirk heroes. He never wanted to be weak like he was that day in the rain ever again. He never wanted to lose anyone else.

You changed after Oboros death too, it brought back your dated mentality of not wanting to get too close to anyone, but you knew, if you distanced yourself from your sweet boyfriend, it would be one the gravest mistakes you ever made in your entire life. So, instead, you thought about your mortality, how much you missed your dear friend already, and how this very thing could happen to you too one day. You were okay with the idea of losing your life in battle, it held honor, you had accepted that long ago. Now knowing the other side of the coin, being the one left behind when someone dear departed while in battle, you knew you couldn’t do nothing.

So, you started writing letters to Aizawa Shouta, for the just incase. And every year or so, you would rewrite them, having them updated to the most recent you. You did that for quite some time.

You and Shouta experienced many first together. You graduated, watched him start his underground hero agency while staying to side kick under His Purple Highness, working up the ranks until you yourself were ready to set off on your own as a Hero. Your time as a sidekick had allowed you to slowly rise through the popularity ranks, and when you debuted as a hero, you already had your standing in the top 100. You and Shouta moved in together 3 years after graduating, never having broken up, you had just decided it would be important to establish yourselves as individuals before you moved in with one another. Bright eyes 21-year-olds, charging their way into the world, establishing yourselves among the hero ranks. A year later he proposed, it wasn’t at a fancy restaurant on the top floor of a hotel, or a big spectacle with all your friends and family there, instead it was in the warm orange light of the setting sun, on the walk home from visiting a crepe stand, not too much unlike the one you visited when you were in school. It was mid spring, and along the river, covered in a blanket of pink petals, he got down on one knee. The backdrop of sakura trees in full bloom, and before you, your beloved presenting you a lovely ring only he could have picked, that suited you so well, you were the happiest person alive. You lowered yourself down onto your knees as well, ignoring the looks of curious onlookers, and threw your arms around his neck, knocking him over into the grass. With tears of joy in your eyes, you took his face in your hands and peppered enthused kisses all over his face, his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose, his forehead, his chin, until you reached his lips. You pressed a lingering kiss to them, before pulling your head up, and meeting his eyes, “Yes, yes a thousand, a million times yes.”

He grinned back at you, and using the pads of his thumbs, wiped away the tears staining your cheeks, “thank you.”

Onlookers this time would see the happy couple, walking in the light of the setting sun, hand in hand, but this time around, she had a ring on hers.

At the ripe age of 24, the two of you tied the knot, the date was set to the day, 10 years ago, that the two of you had first met at the entrance ceremony of UA high school. He looked dashing in his best suit, and you looked ethereal in your dress as you walked down the aisle to meet him at the altar, both of you wearing face splitting grins. You were in the top 40 at that point in your career, and the media had a small field day with your wedding. The 34th ranked hero (y/h/n) and the elusive eraserhead were wed today at an exclusive venue, only close friends and family were invited! Read more to find out all the juicy gossip of the latest hero wedding.

After your wedding you moved out of your shared apartment and into a cute little two story in a residential area of town, with enough room for whatever the future may hold. You rewrote your letters for the last time in that house.

It was 13 months after the two of you got married, that it happened, a balmy May evening. Villain activity had been on the rise and stronger villains were appearing everyday. He wasn’t on the scene when it happened, he wasn't able to do the thing he trained so hard to do.

He had heard your call for backup over the radio, when you encountered an especially strong opponent, and had been rushing towards your location, tuning out the reports that were constantly being fed into his ear, as you were the only thing on his mind. When he was only 5 minutes away, there was an explosive sound, and the whole neighborhood began to shake, and in the distance he saw a plume of dust and smoke rising into the darkening sky.

You had been on the edge of being defeated, knowing that that was truly the end, and had decided to take the rising villain out with you. It had been in an abandoned warehouse in the business sector of the neighborhood, there probably wouldn’t be anyone around expect for you and the person you were fighting, you reasoned with yourself as you set your quirk off for the last time, making sure that if you go out, your last fight wouldn’t be one that you lost.

The dust had started to settle by the time Shouta arrived, there were other heroes and rescue teams already there, several of whom were mere moments away from providing backup, but they would have been too late even if you didn’t decide to be as rash as you were. Many were shifting through the rubble as he swung his head from side to side, looking for you, deluding himself that you would be among the heroes on top of the rubble, instead of under it. He didn’t see you.

Someone called out that they had found you, it was Hizashi, Shouta saw him cradling your broken and bloody form. A sound ripped from his throat, choked, horrified, bloodcurdling, and he rushed over to where his blond friend kneeled in the wreckage. Hizashi gently handed off your cooling form to his best friend, but remained next to him, as Shota murmured to you.

He pleaded for you to wake, for you to move, for you to open your eyes, god please just breath please. There was nothing you could do though, you weren’t there anymore, not really. He clung to you, and wept, voice growing hoarse, till his cries were nothing but shakes of his body. Eventually, medics had to take you away, and he watched, as they zipped your lovely body up in the disgusting black bag. He watched you be carried off, though the medics were treating your body with the utmost respect, he could not help but despise them for taking you away.

It was on the news when he got home, the tv having been left on. He carefully took off his shoes, stripped of his dusty uniform, and showered, going numbly through a routine he had established, which was missing an essential part, you. He dried and dressed, and made his way up to your bedroom, where he fell to his knees on your side of the bed, burying his face in the blankets you had slept in not even a day ago, inhaling the scent of you. He broke once more, realizing that soon, the smell would fade, and it would just be another memory he would unwillingly slowly forget to the passage of time. He fell asleep there, on the floor, after crying all the tears his body held and more.

He didn’t leave the house for days, remaining in your shared bed, cradling the small stuffed animal you had gotten as a present for yourself after graduating from UA, you smiley excuse being “for when you’re not here, I still need something to cuddle,” he had thought it was silly, maybe a little immature, but had never said anything on the matter. But now he held onto the small stuffed friend as if it was his only salvation in the horrible world he was forced to live in since you had left. He didn’t eat, he didn’t move, he just drifted in and out of painful consciousness.

Your funeral had come and gone, people and the media were shocked to see the lack of your doting husband at your wake. . After 4 days of no contact, Hizashi came by, and let himself in with the spare key you kept hidden under a rock by the entrance. Long ago, right after graduating from high school, you had told Hizashi that if you were ever to die in combat, to look for a construction paper covered shoe box in your closet, that it was for Shouta. When he asked you what it was, and why you had prepared something so morbid, you didn’t have much of a real answer to give him. “Please”, you had asked your blonde friend, “it’s something I started doing after Oboro… after oboro’s death. There’s so many things I never want Shouta to have to experience alone, without me.” He had nodded in acceptance of your words, and not wanting to focus on such a pessimistic topic on your graduation day, changed topics with a smile, going on about where the after party’s after party might be taking place.

He walked to your bedroom, “I’m coming in,” he announced as he swung the door open, though he didn’t receive a response. His heart twinged at the sight of his best friend, huddled under the comforter on your side of the bed, clutching a well loved stuffed animal. Though he had lost a friend, he couldn’t imagine the pain Aizawa Shouta was going though, it was as if the man that lay before him had lost a part of himself. A puzzle that will never again be able to be completed.

Hizashi sat on the edge of the bed, next to the owner of greasy ebony hair, which he ruffled. “You need to take a shower man, you know how y/n doesn’t like it when you let it get this dirty.”

“She’s gone.”

Oh, it hit him in the gut, the blonde flinched. She is gone, and she couldn’t ever come back either. The rest of their lives, they would have to live without the bright girl they had known for so long. They would keep on living, and she would not. They would have to remember her longer than they had known her.

“It hurts.” Hizashi said, “it hurts so bad, and it feels so unfair, and if there was anything I could do to undo this, to even take away the pain you’re feeling right now, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“But,” he continued, “but there’s not, there is absolutely nothing we can do to undo what has already been done. The only thing we can do is to live the way she would have wanted. Do you think she would have wanted you to lie in your shared bed, rotting away until you died? Do you think she would happily greet you at the gates of death if you let yourself end in that way?”

Shouta turned his head to look at his friend, dark eyes red and swollen from their endless flow of tears, that even now, dripped from them.

“Get up,” the blond stood and slapped the top of his thighs, “take a shower, brush your teeth, I’m going to go downstairs and cook something for us to eat.”

Shouta nodded, and slowly sat up, his hair falling into his face like a dark veil. He rose from the bed, and begrudgingly made his way to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror on his way. He looked haggard, stubble grown out, his heart hurt so badly at the thought of you seeing him like this, he decided he would shave too.

After his friend had left the room, Hizashi went towards the closet, feeling guilty about disturbing things the way you had left them, he tried his best to leave as much as he could untouched as he looked for the brightly decorated box he had been told about. He found it without much effort, tucked away in the very back of the top shelf, covered in cute scrapbooking paper and stickers, it really was quite the reflection of you, something you had made with such care and love. It hurt thinking about how you ever had to prepare this sort of thing in the first place, having been preparing for your own death since you all had been teenagers. He gingerly removed it from its place, and carried it downstairs to the kitchen with him, tucking it away to bring it up later, after he had gotten some food into his mourning friend.

He opened the fridge, revealing a tupperware of something preprepared, just needing to be cooked. He opened the lid of it, taking a whiff to see if it was still good or if it had gone bad in the time that has passed since it was made, it hadn’t. He washed and put the rice in its cooker before tossing the contents of the tupperware into a pan, frying it until it was done, and serving it with the fresh steaming rice.

Shouta came downstairs, the smell of your cooking hitting his nose, and for a few moments he forgot that you weren’t there, in your sunny kitchen, cooking one of your meals to share with him, a smile on your face as you greeted him entering. Instead of your smile greeting him, it was Hizashi, and Shouta lost his strength, gripping the doorframe as his slid to the ground, chest shaking in grief.

Hizashi quickly took the few steps that separated him and the crying man on the floor, sinking down to his level and grasping him by his arms, concern morphing his face.

“This,” a sob stopped him from continuing, “this is her cooking, this is,” sob “this is the last time I’ll ever be able to eat something she made. I’m,” sob “I’m going to have to live the rest of my life without ever going to be able to taste her food again.” His body convulsed with the strength of his sorrow.

They cried together on the kitchen floor for a while, until the food had completely cooled. Hizashi lead Shouta to the table, sitting him down in his chair before picking up their plates and placing them in the microwave, warming them back up, until they once more had steam rising from them.

He put the plate of food in front of your husband, placing fork in his hand, forgoing chopsticks for fear that Shouta would simply be too weak from his 4 days of laying in bed, forgoing food.

Aizawa Shouta scooped up a small bite of the meal sitting in front of him, tentatively raising the fork before placing it in his mouth. As soon as the flavors hit his tongue he started silently crying again. He slowly ate, trying to savor every bite, ignoring the salty taste of his own tears as he swallowed.

The blond watched him, while eating his own meal, tears came to his eyes as well, thinking about what his friend had said, this truly would be the last time he ate your cooking. Never again would he be invited over to your loving home, entering the warm environment you had made, and eating dinner with you and your friends. How you had loved to host little dinner parties for your friend group, those that you had known since your schooling days. He felt bad about being the only one of the group to get to eat your cooking one last time, so he took his time as well, wanting to enjoy it enough for everyone that wasn’t there with them in the room that was now cool and grey without your presence.

When Shouta was done, he pushed his plate to the side and laid his head on crossed arms, trying to control his breathing as he cried, trying to be thankful that he got to taste it one last time, instead of only sorrowful that that would be the last time he would ever taste it.

“Shouta,” Hizashi started after a while of silence, “I have something to give you.” He got up from the table and walked to retrieve where he had hidden the box, and then returning and placing it between the two of them on the table.

“This is from her, from y/n”

The dark-haired man looked up, bleary eyes landing on the colorful box. “What is it?” he questioned.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Y/n just told me to give it to you if anything ever happened to her.” the green-eyed man answered.

Shouta reached out and opened the box, reviling its contents. Letters.

part two

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #boko no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader angst #fanfic #bnha aizawa #mha aizawa #aizawa shota x reader #shota aizawa #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa x y/n #aizawa x reader angst #to be honest i have no idea if its spelt shouta or shota sorry if its spelt both ways in here i have no clue what the right way is

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angelsanarchy · 10 months

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One Long Weekend: - Clyde/YN One-Shot Series CH 04

"Never have I ever had to hide a boner." "Oh she plays dirty. I might be in love."

SATURDAY, 12:45AM

Once the weed and the food was consumed, y/n sprawled her legs across Clyde's knees as he leaned back into the couch, head leaned all the way back as he giggled.

"My brain says I should probably head out but my body says where did your legs go!?" Clyde patted her knees, turning his head towards her but still resting against the couch.

"I think you should listen to your legs...or the absence of your legs? Listen to whatever is telling you to not get up." Clyde rubbed her shin unconsciously making her meet his eyes.

"What's your big plan now? How will you keep me entertained? You don't look like you can move much either." Y/n watched Clyde tried to blow his hair away from his face without moving his arms from her legs.

"Why would I want to move when I'm enjoying the company so much? Can't I entertain you while we both be incredibly lazy on the couch?" Clyde asked cutely. Y/n teased Clyde with her foot poking him in the side making him stare at her lying on her back comfortably on the couch.

"What did you have in mind?" Y/n asked propping herself up

"My friend Snow is a freak for the game Never Have I Ever...you ever heard of it?" Clyde asked. Y/n smiled and sat up on the couch, scooting a little closer to him so they weren't sitting so far apart. She held up her hands and Clyde nodded.

"Okay let's see, never have I ever worn a bra." Clyde teased. Y/n put her pinky down.

"Never have I ever had to hide a boner." She smirked watching Clyde's smile grow.

"Oh she plays dirty. I might be in love." Clyde put his pinky down.

"Never have I ever had a one night stand." Clyde watched Y/n's fingers carefully and she kept all nine of her fingers up smugly.

"Not really my thing. I'm too young to get accidentally knocked up and I don't like to bring people back to my apartment." Y/n explained, Clyde took comfort in knowing she was particular about who she slept with. Not like he had a ton of experience in it.

"Never have I ever been to jail." Y/n tilted her head watching Clyde's gaze drop, lowering his ring finger.

"Convicted murderer?" Y/n teased.

"I shot my mom's dog...she pressed charges and kicked me out but it's cool." Clyde explained.

"Oh my god! Why is that so much worse than being a murderer?!" Y/n shoved Clyde's chest.

"The dog was old and she was letting it suffer. I mean a 150 pound dog in a wheelchair? Poor guy was done." Clyde's explanation seemed genuine and y/n felt sympathy for his reaction.

"I take it you don't get along with your mom." Y/n pressed earning a shrug.

"My mom is actually in Florida living her best life. My step mom's dog is the one I shot. As much as my dad didn't want to have to lock me up, he knew it was either me or her so I guess I get it." This was the first time Clyde seemed bummed out. Y/n could tell his family life was a sore spot that she wouldn't press.

"I bailed my dad out of jail once. He fell asleep naked on the strip." Y/n tried to lighten the mood.

"Wow that's illegal? I've seen more dicks and tits on the strip than I've seen behind closed doors. Was he wasted?" Clyde chuckled.

"Oh obliterated. It was more so that he was naked in front of Gordan Ramsey's restaurant so women and children were afoot." Y/n broke it down and could see Clyde trying not to laugh too hard about it.

"Yeah I guess they frown upon dicks being out in front of children. There's always a line to be drawn somewhere." Clyde joked.

"Never have I ever been on a real date." Clyde blushed.

"Well what do you consider a real date? I mean I've gotten dinner with a someone but I've never been like wined and dined." Y/n explained.

"Is that what kind of thing you're into? Big fancy?" Clyde pressed earning a laugh.

"God no! I like getting to know someone in their own element. I feel like you can tell a lot about a person in the most casual setting. People aren't naturally themselves all suited up and spending an ass ton of money on a baby portion of food." Clyde listened carefully and couldn't help but smile at her. She couldn't sound more perfect to him.

"So by definition, this is your ideal date?" Clyde grinned.

"Honestly, this isn't bad. This is the most fun I've actually had in a while. You're easy to be around, Clyde." Y/n couldn't help but blush seeing how sweet Clyde's smile was.

"Hey don't get any ideas about me being easy." Clyde teased. Y/n squinted at him.

"Hmm I don't know. You're telling me that if I really wanted to get you to make out with me...you'd turn me down?" Y/n crawled over towards Clyde who still had his hands up in front of.

"You think I put out on the first date? Wh-what kind of guy do you take me for?" Clyde swallowed the lump in his throat as moved to straddle his lap, taking his hands into her own and putting them on her hips.

"I take you for a really cute, really fun guy and not at all a serial stalker who lured me to his place to smoke and play silly games." Y/n pushed some of Clyde's hair off his face and could see the nervousness in his eyes. For a moment, she second guessed herself thinking maybe she had rushed things.

"Lured is...is a strong word. You technically drove yourself here." Clyde stuttered out making y/n giggle. He got actual goosebumps from that giggle. She rested her hands on his shoulders trying to read his face. His eyes flickered to her lips and he didn't seemed to freeze when she started to lean into him. Before their lips could connect, Y/n's phone started blaring causing them both to jump. She rolled off of Clyde's lap and snatched her phone off the table.

"Hey what's up? I'm hanging out with a friend from the club...what? No! What do you mean don't come home tonight...Dude I get that you have a girl over but-" Clyde listened to Y/n's call and tried to shift his body to hide his annoying boner.

"You are literally the worst roommate on the planet...hello? Bitch." Y/n hung the phone up and turned back towards Clyde.

"So...I just kind of got scrunchied." Y/n frowned.

"I have no idea what that means." Clyde shook his head.

"Well my roommate is entertaining a lady friend tonight so she's essentially told me not to come home. You know, some guys put a sock on the doorknob...girls use the scrunchie.." Y/n explained making Clyde nod in understanding.

"You're more than welcome to crash here. I can give you shirt or something to sleep in-" Clyde stood up, trying to shift away from y/n until his half chub was fully concealed.

"You don't have to do that. I've already tried to jump your bones and you've been so sweet-" Clyde cut her off by saying her name. Damn did she liked how her name sounded on his lips.

"Seriously, crash here. I'll even lock the door so you feel safe." Clyde held out an oversized band shirt and fuzzy Halloween socks that had blazed out pumpkins on them. Y/n had never stayed the night with a guy before, especially one she was really growing to like. Staying would give her more time to hang out with Clyde and get to know him better. She reached out and took the clothes from him returning his smile. She felt an anxious burst of heat in her stomach and made a mental note to thank her roommate later.

#electrick children #Clyde x y/n #Clyde #rory culkin #One Long Weekend Series #One Shot Series #y/n fics #I wanted to get this one out since tomorrow is my birthday #and I have an even cuter one of these to post tomorrow!#4/18

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answer2jeff · 4 months

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the fatherhood theory:

my take on lip gallagher finding purpose in parenthood.

First things first, I quickly want to congratulate the writers for beautifully articulating the accuracy of Lip's initial reaction to Freddy's birth.

Tami had an extremely complicated birth that resulted in her requiring surgery. Lip, both as a new father and as a boyfriend, was legitimately terrified. He couldn't decide if he should stay with Tami or their son. His thought process probably included the possibility of the mother of his child suffering, further trailing to the fear of fatherly absence. Naturally, considering Lip's lack of a genuine father figure, contributing anything remotely resembling neglect or failure to accommodate to his son feels like the worst and most unforgivable thing he could ever do.

Secondly, I want to say that although Tami is quite different compared to Lip's other love interests, I think she was relatively realistic at the time. She has drive and compassion, and Lip loves a good sarcastic girl who affectionately ridicules the guy she loves. She's abrasive in a way that is more meant to establish her intelligence rather than actually put others around her down. Tami is also terrible at accepting criticism, but doesn't respond in the explosive anger that Lip does. She's more passive aggressive than, well...aggressive aggressive. Even though it's not quite the healthiest, it's much more flexible than rage.

In short, Lip sees a lot of himself in Tami. But, she's a more put together, determined version of him. She's the star that Lip never really turned out to be, even if she's not absolutely perfect. Their relationship is accurate for the conditions of the show (and Lip's life.) Tami doesn't give Lip a lot of opportunities to self sabotage because she's pretty much dubbed herself the lead of their relationship.

(not ignoring the fact that she said he'd be a shitty father by the way. that crushed my soul and i'll never forgive her but that's besides the point.)

Having to decide to let professionals (doctors and nurses, who he notoriously does not trust (rooted by capitalistic healthcare environments and the need for independence due to his childhood trauma), try their best to help Tami when she was literally blue and unresponsive, was difficult and extremely scary.

However, once Freddy has been properly cleaned and prepared to be held by his father, Lip suddenly finds the answer to so many of his interpersonal questions.

"I seem to have ruined everything I was once good at. Is there anything I won't automatically ruin just because I don't think I deserve it?"

Fatherhood.

"Would I be any better at this than my parents were?"

Yes, with practice.

"Would I be able to break the cycle?"

Yes, with love.

"Is it necessary for me to feel so deeply about the world?

Yes. Even if it's painful.

"And was it ever worth hiding that with anger?"

To some extent, yes. You wanted to protect yourself.

"Am I, deep down, past my inevitable quickness to rage, a good person?"

Yes. You always have been.

In hindsight, his excitement for becoming a dad seems kind of obvious considering his overjoyed and emotional reaction. But I think we can dig deeper beyond this surface level impression. Even if it's genuine and ultimately very good at showing Lip's love for his son. Something that I think really prepared Lip for the complications of parenthood was the time period during his time as a college student taking care of Liam.

He'd been surrounded by family members for his entire life that he did not trust. When Fiona, his beacon of support throughout his whole childhoo despite their complicated sibling relationship, made such a grave mistake that reflected neglect, Lip felt unsafe. Both Frank and Monica were typical offenders of drug and alcohol abuse. And they regularly dabbled in allowing these substance issues to affect their children.

Now there was really nobody in his family he could trust. Lip would have to re-learn how to fend for himself and his family. He's had plenty of experience, but he had a support system. Even if it contained his own siblings who lived the same abusive life as he did. But now that he didn't trust anyone around Liam, he literally had to become his primary caregiver.

"You're the closest thing to a dad we've ever had," said Ian Gallagher.

Becoming Freddy's father was the love that Lip needed in his life. Girlfriends are replaceable. Lip has proven this. But he always believed that once you become a father, you do not have the right to back out. And he'd always hold himself to that standard.

This is your life now. Do it right, or go to hell.

People like Lip need to have people in their lives who unconditionally rely on them. His siblings have chosen many times (and rightfully of course) to handle personal matters without Lip's advice. He hasn't gotten to feel as needed or as important as he deserved to be. Having a child, though unexpected, was the missing piece to the endless puzzle that was his life's purpose.

Lip's desire to be a good father not only stemmed from the failure of his own parents, but the fact that guiding his siblings through life was the one thing that everyone around him that everyone was convinced he couldn't do better than anyone else. (Personally, I think Fiona did a great job as an older sister. I'm more speaking from the perspectives and opinions of his siblings.)

Lip will feel love for himself through Teddy. Once he can finally succeed for the long term, he will find peace.

Not to say that he's automatically perfect, because he's not (and no one else is), but he's ready to take on the challange.

Freddy is the love of Lip's life.

And he always will be.

#lip gallagher #dad!lip #jeremy allen white #shameless #freddy gallagher #tami tamietti #shamless us #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #the gallaghers #the fatherhood theory #i love him your honor #he's gonna be a great dad #i'm so proud of him AND tami.

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swallowtail-ageha · 1 month

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Hey! Name 10 of your favourite Soulsborne characters! Doesn't have to be in any particular order, unless you want it to be!

SORRY FOR DELETING THE FIRST ONE AND MAKING YOU SEND THIS AGAIN

Also putting it under the cut because goood i love to get verbose and this shit is almost infinite for how long it got

Ok so *cracks knuckles*

1- Shanalotte

My precious girl!! My beloved!!! I have actually found most fromsoft level up maidens (bar her and melina) to be actually pretty lacking in both relevance and story so she was a nice breath of fresh air! Her lore intrigues me very much like. She was created *specifically* with the purpose of being kindling (or that's what the "created to break the curse" implies to me).

She's one of the most normal looking dragon-human hybrids but it's ALSO implied that she's internally way more fucked up and unstable than them because she was pretty much left to rot alone by aldia in the dragon aerie. She can teleport propelled by the power of a funky feather. She has an emo haircut. Her intentions might not be the kindest as they might seem as instead of lettingherself burn she cultivated SEVERAL undeads to reach the throne instead of taking the throne for herself and she ALWAYS knows what is really going but refuses to tell the Bearer of the Curse anything that aren't the barest informations.

Forever will be salty that due to executive meddling we lost the time travel plot and didn't manage to see her as a child

2-Ranni

I think one of the biggest improvements overall of elden ring's ending questlines compared to the ones in other soulsborne is that they gave us a quest from a scheming character that ACTUALLY explains you what your schemes entrail and lets you through bosses and additional questlines forge a deeper connection to the npcs and Ranni (and her questline) are the epitome of that.

Like i have soo much to say about the fact that her ending is basically the classical courtly love story with the maiden in the tower rescued by the brave knight where the tower guarded by the dragon can both be her rise who is guarded by Adula (whom fights you to death before you can go to Manus Celes and marry her) and the cave in the lake of rot which is guarded by Astel.

AND WHILE PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZE HER AS COLD AND UNLOVING SHE IS SO FULL OF LOVE. She's yes scheming and willing to do evil acts to reach her goals but she LOVES Iji and Blaidd THEY WERE HER FAMILY BLAIDD WAS HER BROTHER EVEN IF HE WAS ENGINEERED TO BETRAY HER IF SHE WENT ASTRAY AND THEY BOTH KNEW IT BUT THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH THAT BLAIDD OVERCAME FOR A WHILE HIS SHADOW'S INSTINCTS. She didn't want you to continue your services for her because she knew that iji and blaidd were doomed and didn't want you to end like them AND YET. AND YET. YOU TRAVERSED THE LAKE OF ROT FOR HER. YOU KILLED ALIENS AND GOD TO SAVE HER. SHE FIRST INTENDED TO GO AWAY WITH NO ONE FOLLOWING HER BUT YOU DECIDE TO DEPART WITH HER. NEVER LEAVING HER ALONE IN THE COLD AND EMPTY SPACE.

I am sorry for the all caps and incoherent rambling but i genuinely love ranni so much. Elden ring in general is very dear to me and her questline was one of the first ones i've ever done in a soulsborne game :3

3-Rykard

Ok i admit that while at first i only liked him for "funny snake" stuff the more i learned about him the more i liked him.

He's like Ranni in the sense that where he did commit many atrocities one of his most overlooked characteristics is how he loved.

He loved radahn so much that he had paintings of him all over his home. He loved tanith so much because he knew what he would become once fused with the snake and offered her a way out of the suffering that it might have caused her (but we know tanith didn't mind) and trusted her so much to let her lead volcano manor in his stead. He loved rennala so much that he left his own Special Torture Device around the academy to hurt whoever wanted to kill her. He loved ranni so much that he helped prepare her great plan and was willing to take the blame and challenge MALIKETH HIMSELF in order to protect her if the plan went wrong. And he loved radagon so much that him abandoning them to follow the GW literally caused him to react so badly that he decided to infiltrate it's ranks as a loyal inquisitor to destroy it from the inside in the way it would hurt the most (like burning the minor erdtree). Also he's bisexual. Miyazaki you might have removed the daedicar's woe item description but he remains bi in the heart of us rykardpilled

4-Tanith

Aside from being the canonically freakiest person in bed in the lands between the whole rykard-tanith-rya storyline makes me go RAAAAH "my greatest distress would be forgetting you" and then she goes on to ask you to unconsensually do to rya the same thing that rykard consensually asked her to do!! Because for her it's better to live a lie than to know the truth!! And the fact that this is likely caused by her feeling inadequate to be a mother (as cut dialogue shows)!!!

Also undying loyalty literally wanting to have someone live on through you by ingesting them... her obsession with rykard and what he represented preventing her to actually move on after he gets killed by the tarnished but also her love for him is one of the reasons WHY volcano manor still stands + the fact that rykard married her not out of pure lust but because he sawnin her a dignity befitting of a ruler AND HE WAS RIGHT.... Miyazaki. Martin. I love you.

5-Nashandra

Ok i might not have papers upon papers to write about her but she's one of my favourites in the sense that she hits the extremely specific archetype of extremely cunty woman who exploits manipulates others but that's because she's an eldritch abomination whose existance is extremely fragile and literally just wants To Live (the other character who fits this is Ma evilliouschronicles and she's like my fave character 5eva).

The concept of the daughters of manus is very cool and i feel like there's some significance in her sharing the "shan" in her name with shanalotte but only miyazaki knows.

I really want to know what her and vendrick's marriage looked like i KNOW they were freaky

6-Maria

MARIA MY BELOVED MARIA... I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS (TM) ABOUT HER and the main one is that to me she is like one of those protagonist from those late 19th/early 20th decadent novels but if they were a girl.

The thing that appeals to me the most about her is how much of an utter failure she was in both life and death like her arc is such a downwards spiral. I am not okay with cainhurst's hunting thecniques? Ok! Let's join the victorian equivalent of the scalp hunters from blood meridian! Oh shit oh no oh fuck i ended up committing genocide and eviscerating a pregnant god and now i am extremely traumatized well i'll try to redeem myself by joining the blood murdercult and by committing experiments based on the evisceration of said pregnant god to help advance humanity. All the experiments i led are for naught and only led to more suffering? At this point i can't handle it anymore every single good thing i did led to death and misery i'm gonna kill myself AT LEAST IN DEATH I CAN'T HARM ANYONE :) RIGHT? :) [cue her upholding the nightmare and its inhabitants suffering and then dying against the good hunter causing them to rampage through the hamlet again]

I think her biggest flaw in the end was to keep denying the fact that her actions slowly got more brutal because she wanted to think of herself as a good person until things snowballed so much that they got out of her control and couldnt do anything to prevent damage from happening. Rip my sweet angel corrado silla and alfonso nitti wouldve seen you as their long lost sister

7-Sulyvahn

HE LIVED HE SERVED CUNT HE DIED. There is something oddly poetic and horrifying about someone who came from a place designed to keep away those rejected by the gods being the responsible of the fall of the gods himself. AND YET none of this came from rightful vengeance or a sense of duty towards his fellow inhabitants of the painter. No. He didn't give a single shit about it and hated the place. He only did that because he was power hungry and skilled and had the possibility to do that.

I am also OBSESSED OBSESSED OBSESSED with the fact that it's implied that he has more than a few grievances with women and i like to think of him as a huge misogynistic creep in the way fanon gehrman is. He is so insidiously manipulative and backstabbing and needlessly cruel he is up there in the alley of my favourite nasty old men. He might or might not have had beef in the past with aldrich which led to aldrich kicking his ass earlier and weakening him enough to permit the ashen one to kill him. We love a villain whose downfall is caused by his constant backstabbing

8- Fauxefka

I know that she's very barebone as npcs go but i am soo fond of her she's my canon oc. There is soo much implied about her aside from the fact that miyazaki considers her one of the only heroic people in game like. She is from the choir (and might have stolen the umbilical cord from willem) while Iosefka who looks exactly like her is implied to have been a defector from mensis so academic beef might be one of the motives for turning her into an alien i have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT and if you send the suspicious beggar to her house he STILL turns into a celestial emissary which means she alone was strong enough to overpower him.

Also her voice gets me sooo <3333 and add that with the fact that she was brave enough to gobble down an umbilical cord without a single thought she's a lunatic but also probably the sanest person in yharnam and i'm here for it

9- Friede

Friede is another one in the halley of pathetic women like yass girl... doom a world where you found comfort in to ruin because you are so traumatized by your first death by burning that you refuse to let it happen again despite it being a good thing so she parallels nicely with gwyn.

Another thing that i found interesting is that aside from that she is ALSO motivated by love for the inhabitants of the painting but is willingly blind to the love wilhelm and yuria had for her

Side note but i found a really good wilhelm/friede fic where mid fuck she removes his ring that prevents him from looking like a beef jerky and muses that he'd never do that because he's too loyal for her and is happy of the power she has over him and that is sooo good i'll just incorporate it in my headcanons for her

10- Gwyndolin

I already joked about him being the joker for trans men but like. The tragedy of his story makes me go insane <3 Imagine being reviled by your father for literally every single part of your being. You have your older siblings. They are your father's favourites, THE golden children. And yet one by one they leave you all alone, one being kicked out and erased from history for siding with the enemy and the other flees as she always does whenever she encounters trouble. Your father who hates you throws himself into the first flame and leaves you alone with massive abandonment and gender issues and you spend literally every single moment of your life trying to continue his legacy even to the point of living in your father's tomb. You revile him and how he treated you especially regarding your gender so you try to be independent. To throw away your old identity he forced on you and finally live as a man and a king of your own right BUT you'll always be desperate for his love and will never separate from his shadow down to the bitter end. You raise what is your sibling or niece but also instead of actually making her independent you keep her naive and sheltered, every single place of power is purely symbolic.

And then the tree guy who works as your knight and whom you might or might not be fucking fucking overthrows you imprisons you and your sisterniece in the cathedral and feeds you alive to a guy whom you sent to his death by burning ages ago to continue the cycle your father started. Life really be like that sometimes.

So... here it is! I am sorry for how long it got lmaoo

#also i must specify #the list isnt in order i like them all on the same level #there are also other characters i love like l*urence mic*lash l*catiel or the dancer #i just dont rotate them in my mind as much as i do with them yknow #ask

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syn0vial · 15 days

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Oh, the wise one of the wise ones!

First of all, I want to say, that I hope you're feeling better now (you wrote, that you are worring over earthsquakes in your recent post).

It's nice to see, that you too consider Zam a literall gem among sw characters! I have three questions for you, if you don't mind :) :

Is there any more about her daughter? Beyond her name (was it Sone?)? Is she changeling too?

That's a complex question - do you think she would be proud of adult Boba (in canon/legends, doesn't matter)? What would she think of him?

What were her "deeper feelings" about Jango? By that I mean who did she really consider him? A friend? Partner in crime? Is there any part with her Pov. about him?

PS: It's my first time sending an ask, hope you are honored!

hello hello! :D thank you for your kind words and fun questions about one of my fave star wars characters; i'll do my best to answer!

sadly, if there is any more existing information about sone wesell, i haven't found it. sone was actually "introduced" not as a fully-fledged character, but as a footnote in a source book for wizards of the coast's star wars roleplaying game. it seems likely to me that descriptions of her were intentionally vague so that GMs could more easily fit her into their campaigns if they chose to feature her as an NPC. that said, given that both zam and sone's father are said to be clawdites, it is likely that sone would have been born with at least the capacity to shapeshift!

i'll be honest: i've totally imagined the conversation that would happen between zam and a grown-up boba should they ever meet. (my favorite daydream scenario is that there's a malfunctioning inter-dimensional portal that intermittently spits out people/characters from various points in canon into a massive space-station-city where they all then have to reconfigure how they relate to each other and rebuild their lives, but uh, anyway.) personally, i think that if zam met any version of (legends) boba over the age of 18, she'd just be really sad for him. for one, she's known boba since he was just 5 years old or so, so i think there'd be some inevitable sadness in finding out how much he'd suffered after her death. there's also just the shock of seeing how much that suffering transformed him, how this sweet, funny kid who loved animals and bad jokes and novels about friends going on adventures became a man whose life is so devoid of joy, connection, or compassion that his kneejerk response to genuine kindness is hostility or aversion. zam might be a bounty hunter as well, but she never lost her sense of playfulness, expressiveness, or affection, so i think it would hurt her to see boba take that path. that said, if she met boba much later in the timeline (like, post-yuuzhan vong), i think she'd feel some hope and relief seeing him starting to try for connection again!

we do actually get some of zam's PoV as it regards jango in the novel the shapeshifter strikes! i think it's pretty clear that their relationship went beyond being simply partners-in-crime (jango trusted zam to basically babysit boba, for crying out loud) and they have flirty banter in virtually every piece of media they appear together in. boba himself refers to zam as jango's friend and even considers if she might be his mom at one point (though he ultimately comes to the conclusion that this is impossible bc he's read in books that moms don't shapeshift). zam herself definitely enjoys jango's company and especially flirting with and teasing him. that said, even she is occasionally shocked or disturbed by jango's more callous moments, such as when he's willing to let a terrorist group target millions of civilians on coruscant, or when he uses a cloned child's body to throw other bounty hunters off boba's scent. my personal reading of their relationship is that she genuinely really likes and is even attracted to jango, not least because of the risk he presents (she is a thrill-seeker after all), but that she ultimately trusts him not to do anything to really hurt her. and honestly, not unreasonably! we see from their dark horse comic series that even when they're working as rivals, they do try and look out for each other and keep the other from any serious harm. so, in that sense, she misjudged him; she thought that being his friend and having this history with him would save her from being expendable in his eyes. in the shapeshifter strikes, zam even asks jango if he'd ever really kill her and when he answers quite honestly, "only if i had to," she laughs it off with a quip ("you say the sweetest things!"). so, in sum, i'd describe zam's "deeper feelings" for jango being genuine friendship, affection, and even attraction, along with an unfortunate overestimation of just how indispensable she was as his only friend. which isn't to say that she wasn't truly his friend—we get multiple indications that jango did genuinely care about her—but ultimately, that wouldn't prevent him from sacrificing her once he deemed it necessary.

#thank you for the ask! i am honored to be your first recipient <3 #zam wesell #jango fett #asks

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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Thoughts on otto?

i really enjoy komsomolka's take that otto is a failed girldad

i think both otto and tywin are deconstructions of machiavelli's prince. but otto is very much tywin-lite. he is not as ruthless as tywin, not as cold, not as sly. his schemes are childlike compared to tywin's. never in a million years would have tywin suffered such a fool like daemon for so long. otto is a conniver himself, but he does genuinely care for his duty to the realm on a conceptual level as well and he does care for viserys, both as his friend and both as an embodiment of the crown. that doesn't preclude him from doing all he can to advance himself and his own - he is a noble lord, after all.

otto gets a lot of flack in the fandom & we should totally acknowledge the imprint traditional masculinity has on the less-privileged around him. but i have this pervasive, terrifying feeling that otto is actually... he is our father!! you take any reasonably-gentle, reasonably-decent man, who loves his daughter, and put him into the shoes of the second son of a noble lord, in a fantasy middle-ages setting, and he becomes otto. and that's what i find so bloody tragic about otto - this is the story of a man who is separated by societal mores and structures from the one person he loves the most in this entire world - the apple of his eye!! his bbygurl! nobody wins under feudalism! nobody wins under patriarchy! not alicent, but not even otto either! would mine own father do that to me were he in otto's place? would yours? what a completely alarming idea!

otto doesn't completely understand alicent because he doesn't understand women, not fully, not ever & he never will because he lacks the psychoanalysis tools & the critical paradigm through which to objectively assess society & re-arrange his world view. every character in the show has this problem and faces this wall eventually. this is not otto-apologia or trying to find excuses for him, but, equally, not accounting for this in our commentaries does a disservice to all of us, because it utterly fails to account for how our behaviours and beliefs are constitutionally conditioned by socio-economical structures. a person living under patriarchal feudalism, where war is a common occurrence, medical science is rudimentary and mental health non-existent, making life itself a very perilous affair, is conspicuously NOT going to have the same beliefs as a person who has (hopefully) gained critical-thinking skills as a result of their university education in modern-day capitalism. no matter how kindhearted or empathetic they might be.

that is to say that otto genuinely believes he is doing the very best for alicent and for his house and for the realm. he is providing the realm with an exemplary queen, he is connecting the hightowers to the crown via blood and he is giving alicent away to (in his eyes) a kind, good, gentle husband. he is making her the most important woman in westeros with the most amount of power, should she learn how to yield it. he doesn't understand alicent's terror because he doesn't understand abuse the same way she does - viserys never yells at her, is never violent to her, always treats her politely, is a jolly enough man and seems like he'd be fun to drink a beer with. alicent now has all the wealth, all the jewels, the finery, the security and the obeisance of those around her. that's how otto conceptualises happiness and he is giving exactly that to his daughter. would otto agree that it would have been ideal for alicent to be a few years older before getting married? probably, yeah. but an opportunity like this comes only once in a lifetime and, as fucked up as this may seem, this is an act of love in his eyes.

alicent knows her father doesn't truly understand her, doesn't speak "the language of girls", but goes along with it because she is in an uneven power dynamic with him, she is young & inexperienced and is primed to trust that her father's decisions are for her own benefit. there is anxiety-inducing conflict here bc the reality doesn't live up to otto's idealized and superficial understanding of what marriage to viserys entails. what this means for her relationship with rhaenyra, her soul mate. but, even so, alicent knows that her father is the only person in the whole wide world who will love her no matter what & never abandon her, no matter their disagreements. people don't understand why alicent loses her shit when she loses otto. this is why! he is not viserys, he is not rhaenyra. the only reason he leaves is because he is banished. and she (unknowingly & without her sanction) pays a terrible price to get him back

alicent is otto's pawn but she is not just a broodmare to him. he wants to actively work with her. he includes her in his schemes. he allows her on the small council. they have their own power struggles & disagreements, but he mostly rules with her. he wants her on his team so bad. together, you and i will prevail. whatever our differences, our hearts remain as one. he honours their stupid bet and delivers alicent's v generous peace terms to rhaenyra himself. he has been bested by his daughter, he respects that & doesn't undermine her. she really is his queen!!

just bc daemon & rhaenyra oppose otto doesn't mean he is a "snake". daemon is a true nepo baby & incompetent in every job he gets handed. rhaenyra is pissed otto "spied" on her, but that's literally his job as Hand, to be on top on things, act like the CIA and inform the King of any potential trouble. he has his own faults, but i wouldn't call him the evil mastermind the fandom has decided he is

#ask #anon #otto hightower #alicent hightower #alicent & otto #also rhys ifans eats every scene he is what an outstanding performance

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arisingonmorningsinnocent · 1 year

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Pyrrha being mistaken for a pimp in NtN is plot-relevant because the way Teacher handles the situation makes it clear that this (the sex trafficking of teenage girls in a warzone) is not culturally unfamiliar to her. I think she probably jumps to that conclusion because she's seen this before, in previous placements. The only reason her assumption surprised me, the reader, is because misogyny didn't exist in the previous books so I wasn’t expecting it. Because the previous books took place within the Empire, where a teenage girl as smart as Camilla can be genuinely confused about why her living situation might raise red flags.

And that matters, you know? The Nine Houses exploit their citizens in a thousand other ways, but when thinking about the unbelievable amount of suffering that comes from transphobia, homophobia, misogyny.... the fact that the Empire really does seem to have eliminated all forms of sex- and gender-based oppression matters profoundly.

The Nine Houses are a cannibalistic, imperialistic nightmare that cannot continue to exist without destroying others, but the Nine Houses are also a society in which hundreds and thousands of gay and trans and female people grow up without ever worrying that they'll be hurt or repressed for being who they are. It's hard for me to even fully imagine a world like that! And I really respect that because it would have been so easy for Muir to use the different setting in NtN to be like "oh well actually you only thought the Empire was good in a lot of ways because all the main characters were from there and had never seen anything better, its actually horrible and as soon as it gets overthrown the world will be uncomplicatedly better off." I’m glad she decided to do something more interesting instead. Like, John created something good! How do we reconcile The Everything Else with the fact that John created something genuinely good?

In AtN, i am excitedly hoping that we see some of this conflict made more explicit: how do we preserve the aspects of this society worth preserving? As this empire falls, how do we protect the lives, culture(s), and history of the innocent people who grew up there? how do we adequately condemn everything awful that Gideon’s father God John Gaius caused without losing the good parts of the culture that he created, or that grew up around him organically over the course of ten thousand years?

As of NtN, almost all the major characters left standing are political leaders in the Nine Houses or Blood of Eden or both. There is no way these questions won't come up, and I can't wait to see what Muir does with them.

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #op

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rpmemesbyarat · 1 year

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A Less Obvious Toxic RPer: The Overaplogizer

I see a lot of RP resource blogs that talk about toxic RP partners in the cases of people who are overtly controlling, aggressive, demanding, and/or cruel, but rarely if ever do I see posts about a different sort of toxicity: The over-apologizer. These RPers don’t get defensive or aggressive, they get so submissive and self-hating and apologetic over the SLIGHTEST criticism or even suggestion. It’s not a problem of “not saying sorry” it’s a problem of TOO MUCH sorry. Here are some examples: Sally: “Hey there, I know we planned for our muses to end up together eventually, but some of your recent asks seem to suggest they’re already a close couple. I was hoping for a longer slow-burn sort of thing, moving in too fast will definitely scare my muse off. Could we dial it back a bit?” Bill: “I’m so sorry, I completely fucked up! Please don’t hate me ! I should never have started RPing! Let’s just drop the whole thing I’m sorry I wasted your time!” Sally: “Hey, so in your last reply, you had a whole bunch of spiders come out of the walls. I probably should have mentioned this before, but spiders are kind of a trigger of mine. Could we change that to something else?” Bill: “OMG I’m so sorry I’m such an asshole! I should delete my blog, I’m so terrible at this! This is why nobody likes me!” Sally: “Hey, I really love our threads, but our last three have all focused on my muse saving and comforting yours, and the new plot you just suggested seems the same. I like writing with you, but I was wondering if this time around, your muse could help mine instead?” Bill: “I hate myself, I’m such a selfish prick. I push everyone off, why did I think this would be different?” Sally: “I love talking to you OOC, but could you stop messaging me about New Show? I’m just not really interested in that.” Bill: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you, I’ll just shut up now. I’m sorry I’m such a loser.” So, why is this bad? Well, for one thing, insulting yourself isn’t what someone’s aim is when they ask you to change something or cease a behavior. It makes the Sally in this situation feel bad, like they’ve just bullied you, when all they’ve done is politely communicate a reasonable request. It changes the topic of the conversation from Sally communicating a need about RP, to Sally having to personally reassure Bill that she doesn’t hate him, he isn’t a terrible RPer, etc. This is really, really uncomfortable for the Sally, and usually, in my experience as a Sally, ends up taking a lot of time and emotional labor all focused on Sally comforting Bill and apologizing a lot herself simply for speaking up about something bothering her. All of this combines to making Sally more and more unlikely to voice any further concerns or requests to Bill, because she doesn’t want to go through this again and again. Which means Sally either suffers through threads that bother her in some way and aren’t fun for her. . .or she gets tired of that and just ghosts. This sucks for both Sally and Bill. Now, I don’t think most people are trying to be deliberately manipulative when they act like Bill. Some certainly are and I hate them, but it can also be that they’re genuinely extremely insecure, anxious people who think they have to over-correct due to either mental issues, trauma/abuse in the past, or both. So I genuinely try to be patient and kind, but I won’t lie, it is still manipulative and it gets my hackles up. It leaves me conflicted between wanting to comfort the person and reassure them, and at the same time being pissed at them. It’s definitely a frustrating experience. And honestly? I still don’t actually know how to handle this when I’m in the Sally position. So I tried to do the next best thing, and write this for the Bills out there, who might not REALIZE this is toxic behavior or why. Bills, you’re not a bad person, and I know this behavior can be hard to rein in, especially when it’s a trauma response, but please do what you can to try! I wish I had advice for how, but I don’t. All I can do is point out that this behavior, while it may have helped you survive a bad situation in the past, is actually really shitty to others now. And if someone WANTS this behavior from you? If someone WANTS you to scrape and grovel and insult yourself when they point out the slightest thing wrong? Get the hell away from them, because that’s toxic as hell too.

#RP Advice #rp tip #rp tips #roleplay advice #roleplay tips #toxic rpers #overaplogizing

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nukaberries · 2 years

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Companions with a teen sole who’s really angry for seemingly no reason most of the time. They’re super aggressive and rough with things but shit gets done. One day she comes up to them super quite and asks if they can talk,when they do talk they open up about how the had a real bad life before the war and is angers that their abuser took it away from them and say the find out they are still alive. Sole starts to cry and asks them to help take care of it. After said abuser is taken care of they are a really outgoing kid and is genuinely happy (so so so sorry if this is so long)

I just wanna publicly announce that I am obsessed with teen Courier/Sole content, so I'm super excited to write this! Thank you for sending it! Also upon reading this ask, I would 100% die for teen Sole and I know for a fact that most of the companions happily would too <33

Companions React to Teen!Sole Getting Their Revenge - TW: Abuse

(Includes: Cait, Codsworth, Curie, Danse, Deacon, Hancock, MacCready, Nick, Piper and Preston)

Cait

She'll understand Sole's anger better than anyone, having lived through that same kind of anger herself. Up until now, she'd been fairly distant with Sole, and Sole had been the same with her, but upon hearing their story, all Cait wants to do is help them. She remembers being that angry as a teen herself, maybe her and Sole weren't so different after all. At first, she will point out to Sole that sometimes revenge doesn't make a person feel better, which she knows from experience, but if they're really serious about it, she won't try and talk them out of it. Of course, Cait will go with them to deal with their abuser, and she'll make sure that Sole gets the killing blow on them. After everything they'd told her, it seems only fitting that they put an end to this. Cait worries that Sole will be racked with the same guilt she was after killing her parents, unsure of how to help them navigate a pain she still hadn't figured out how to manage herself Much to her surprise, Sole bounces back better than ever, seeming like a genuinely happy kid now they were free of their abuser. It strangely felt like a weight off of Cait's own shoulders to see Sole acting like a teenager for once in their life. Maybe she hadn't gotten that with herself, but hey, somehow helping Sole had made her feel a little bit better about her own shitty life.

Codsworth

Sole's loyal robot butler already knows of their pain all too well, but actually seeing them acknowledge it for the first time and start breaking down makes it all the worse. It's hard for him to be faced with the one problem he was never able to solve, perhaps that's why he reluctantly agrees to help Sole take care of their abuser - even though he knows it's not the best way to deal with the problem, but he'd do anything to help Sole feel better. He's prepared to help Sole deal with whatever emotions they may go through after killing their abuser. He mostly expects Sole to be filled with anger and bitterness afterwards, and is even more surprised when they seem to be doing better. He's overjoyed by this, seeing Sole smile again and hearing them laugh for the first time in years. Codsworth is proud of Sole too, for suffering through something so terrible for so many years and now being able to hold their head up high and put it behind them. While taking a life is never something Codsworth necessarily wants to do, just knowing Sole is doing better is enough for him to accept that it had to be done on this occasion.

Curie

She doesn't understand when Sole first opens up to her. How could anyone ever do something like that to another person, let alone someone so young. Curie's heart breaks for Sole, wanting nothing more than to comfort them and tell them it will all be okay, but how can she promise that when the person who did this is still alive? Curie doesn't agree with murder, even in a world like this, but it's hard for her to reject Sole asking her for help. Eventually, she agrees to go with him, if only to make sure they're okay, but she refuses to be involved in the bloodshed she knows will take place. Once it's over, Curie isn't exactly sure what she can do to help Sole, clueless as to what feelings they may be going through. She can barely understand her own most of the time, something like this seems like far too much for her to be able to handle. She tries nonetheless though, and is more than relieved when Sole actually seems to be doing well - better, even. Watching her friend go from this angry, intimidating person to a genuinely happy and outgoing young person makes the entire ordeal feel almost worth it, but she still worries about them putting on a brave face. If Sole ever brings it up again, Curie will suggest seeing a therapist may help them to work through the pain of their past, and - knowing how hard it is to come across doctors in the wastelands, let alone therapists - will offer to lend an ear if they ever just want to vent about it at any time.

Danse

He's heard stories like this before from his fellow soldiers, but coming from a child? Danse almost tears up at the thought of it, even more so when Sole starts to cry themselves, but he remains composed, much to his own relief. It explains a lot about their personality and Danse regrets all the times he chalked it down to insubordination or just simple teenage rebellion. He feels a sort of responsibility to Sole, being their commanding officer, and finds himself feeling almost protective over them. He does struggle to comfort them, but he still tries his best, reassuring them that their abuser can't hurt them anymore, until Sole explains to him that the person who did this to them is still alive and could still come back to hurt them all over again. They don't need to ask him for help dealing with their abuser twice, he'd just be ridding the Commonwealth of scum anyway, at least this way, he'd be helping someone he personally knew and cared for. The side of Sole that comes out after dealing with their abuser is refreshing to see, it's not often you see a teenager in a world like this get to act their age. In fact, Danse begins to notice himself being ever so slightly more upbeat, smiling a little at Sole's corny jokes that he would've frowned at not so long ago. Perhaps this new side of Sole is beginning to bring out a new side of him too, but if nothing else, all Danse knows now is that he'll protect Sole, no matter what it takes.

Deacon

Deacon knows revenge, as much as he'd like to pretend losing Barbara didn't take him down that same dark path he fears Sole may be starting to look towards now. It's strange to see someone so previously stoic open up to him, of all people, and he isn't quite sure what to do with the information he's being given, expect feel an overwhelming amount of sympathy for his friend. He isn't the best at dealing with his own emotions, let alone other people's, and when Sole begins to cry, all he can do is wrap an arm around them, knowing that nothing he could say would make the situation better. Sole doesn't even need to ask him to help them deal with their abuser, he already knows where they're going with the conversation when they explain they're still alive and they know where they are. He does what he can to talk Sole out of it, but they're completely dead set on their decision and Deacon knows it'd be hypocritical of him to blame them after what he'd done to the UP Deathclaws. He has a terrible feeling about it, but he can't let Sole go through any of that alone, he could never forgive himself if something was to happen to them because he didn't go with them. The whole experience takes him back to his own revenge mission and after the ordeal is over, Deacon finds himself telling Sole his own story, explaining why he was so anxious about helping them kill their abuser. Sole goes back to Sanctuary and dismisses Deacon, stating that they need some time alone to process everything. He doesn't see Sole for about a week, and when they finally return to Railroad HQ, they're completely unrecognisable from the angry teenager he'd seen leave that vault. Naturally, Deacon's still concerned about how they might be coping, but he won't press the matter if he doesn't think Sole wants to talk about it, instead he'll just be grateful that they seem happy, and he'll do anything to keep them happy for as long as he can.

Hancock

He already wants to kill Sole's abuser from the second they start telling him about their past. What kind of monster can make an innocent kid's life so miserable like that? He's surprisingly good at comforting Sole, despite his own anger towards the person that made them feel this way, and he'll just hold them while they cry, if they're comfortable with it. He's probably the least likely out of all the companions to hesitate when being asked to help take care of Sole's abuser. Sure, he knows it won't do them any good in the long run, but who's he to tell them no? The least he can do is go with them and make sure it goes down smoothly, or at least as smoothly as something like this can. He doesn't really know what to expect after Sole's abuser is dead, offering them time to themselves if they need it, but Sole bounces back from the incident so quickly it's almost impressive. This new side of Sole is one that Hancock wishes he could've seen sooner, just being around Sole now is enough to put him in a happy mood for the rest of the day. It's just nice to see them live a good life after everything they went through before the war. He ends up being more protective over Sole afterwards than he was of them initially, not wanting anyone to give them a reason to not be happy again.

MacCready

As a parent himself, MacCready wants to shield Sole from whatever they've endured in the past, even if he doesn't know how to show it. He still remembers what it was like to be a teenager himself in a world like this and in general, and that combined with everything Sole went through? He wasn't sure just anyone could've made it through that. Of course, he knows revenge won't make much of a difference, but knowing how important it is to Sole, he can't say no. Besides, they still had that deal already - Sole points, MacCready shoots. Afterwards, he isn't sure if he's more shocked that Sole actually seems to be doing better than ever or that they've actually found a way to be happy in a world like this. He figures they're stronger than he ever could be, and finds himself actually starting to admire them. He knows he can't stop Sole from ever feeling that kind of pain again, or ever experiencing something as terrible as they did, but at least he's managed to prevent it from happening again this one time. MacCready realises how impossible it is, but he still insists on protecting Sole from everything he can, they're his family now.

Nick Valentine

Although violence is never Nick's go to answer, he can't exactly blame Sole for feeling like it's the only choice they have, especially after everything they'd gone through in the past. Nick had always worried that Sole's aggressiveness may have been linked to something they'd gone through - that was the case with so many people in this world nowadays - but he'd never wanted to pry and had opted to wait until Sole felt comfortable telling him. He did appreciate them feeling as though they could confide in Nick, and normally he would've never agreed to some revenge mission once Sole asked if he'd help them take care of their abuser, but he figured he could make an exception for someone he cared for. Unlike the other companions, Nick will be upfront and ask Sole if they're putting on a brave face when they start to seem happy, worrying that they may be bottling up all their emotions towards killing their abuser. He's relieved, though, seeing Sole finally be able to happy, especially after going through so much at such a young age. Even though he can't change what happened to them, he can try and make their life now as good as it possibly can be.

Piper

Piper feels awful, wanting to help Sole feel better, but knowing there's nothing she can do to ease the pain they've suffered through. When Sole admits they know their abuser is still alive and wants to take care of them once and for all, with Piper's help, their companion is understandably reluctant. She can help Sole, but will it really make them feel any better in the long run? She isn't so sure. Still, after a lot of convincing and asking, Piper agrees to go with Sole to deal with their abuser, even if just to be there for moral support. Afterwards, Piper will initially be relieved that Sole seems to be happier. She'd always wondered how some so young could be so full of anger, it was actually nice to see a happier and more outgoing side to them. Of course, she will be sure to offer Sole support if they ever need to talk, rather than letting their troubles eat away at them. Sure, she's better at talking sometimes than she is at listening, but anything for a friend, especially one as good as Sole.

Preston

He knew there were bad people in the world - he'd seen enough of them in Quincy alone - but how could someone be this cruel to someone so young? Sole deserved better and Preston wished he could take away the pain they'd experienced. He has no problem agreeing to go with Sole to take care of their abuser, after all, this person is just as bad as a raider or a gunner, if not worse, he'd just be doing the Commonwealth a favour and protecting Sole. Besides, Sole has helped him and the other Quincy survivors so much in the time he's known them, it's only right that he helps them, they've never asked him for anything until now. Since Preston treats killing Sole's abuser like taking out another raider camp or super mutant outpost, he doesn't think Sole will feel much guilt about it - why should they? He's just glad to see Sole find happiness again, they deserve the peace, even though it's hard to come across in a world like this. It almost inspires Preston, maybe there's hope that he can find happiness again one day too.

#fallout 4 #fallout #fallout headcanons #fallout imagines #fallout reactions #fallout companions #cait fallout #curie fallout #codsworth fallout #paladin danse #deacon fallout #maccready #hancock fallout #nick valentine #piper wright #preston garvey #teen sole survivor

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