#antimasculism

[sweaty-confetti]

idk y’all should treat fat men better. and i don’t mean mildly chubby guys i mean honest-to-god love-handles-and-double-chins fat guys. stop calling them shit like discord mods or gross weebs or nasty creeps or neckbeards or that they’re stinky or sweaty or beer bellied or whatever else. fatphobia isn’t cute, even repackaged in a neat little box of “ew men”

#and this isn’t some like “IF A CUTE GUY HARASSES A GIRL SHED LOVE IT BUT WHEN A FAT GUY DOES IT SHED HATE IT” #I guarantee she’d hate it nontheless #just saying that the way some of y’all treat fat guys is seriously disgusting #and a lot of em end up falling down the incel and rightwing pipelines because of it #fatphobia #antimasculism #fatphobes #male fatphobia #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity

[genderkoolaid]

Post on r/ftm caught my eye: a trans man worried that getting a hysterectomy made him unkind/aggressive bc he'd had multiple friends including his (cis) partner tell him he'd been way more aggressive since it. His partner had the audacity to tell him it made sense bc he now lacks ALL estrogen, but he'd need to be more careful with how he acts now. A friend claimed that bc of the histo he was swearing more and "not [his] happy chipper chill sweet self." This all happened on *the third day after his surgery.* None of them were mentioned even considering that could have to do with the irritability. Sometimes the idea that trans men don't face any ostricisation or negative consequences for transitioning makes me want to Yell.

Honestly this shit is so disgusting. You hear all kinds of trans men&mascs experience this: folks who get surgery, get on T, or even just come out & suddenly their friends/family/coworkers are telling them how mean and cruel and angry and violent they are now! It doesn't matter if you can't see it because everyone else can so you need to constantly be self-policing and checking with them to make sure you are behaving Correctly! And if you ever get angry or annoyed or just mildly upset with them for this, or anything else, they'll tell you how mean and abusive you are for not being perfectly mild and agreeable all the time!

#m. #ask box #examples of transandrophobia #antimasculism

[whitehairedanimeboyfriend]

I feel like what people don't get about this whole anti-masculinity is they get hurt by men and then this confirms that men are bad but here's the thing: yeah there are men out there that will hurt you. that will be violent towards you.

Women hold the exact same capacity to be violent and abusive.

no one is denying the feelings that people that have been hurt by men. but I feel the anguish comes from this quest to find a safe type of people that will not hurt them and that they can always trust forever. and if men are dangerous, that means the "opposite" of men must be safe: women.

Unfortunately this not only is anti-masc gender essentialist bullshit, but you are so much more likely to get hurt again if you go around thinking no woman will ever hurt you like he did. That this sort of behaviour can't possibly come from a woman, because she gets it and there's an intrinsically good quality about her by virtue of being female.

But it's not true. You can still get hurt. What's more, you have that capacity for pain and violence, too. Not only are women fully capable of hurting each other, they're capable of hurting men as well.

#transandrophobia #antimasculism

[cock-holliday]

A lot of trans spaces hate masculinity soo bad it’s unreal. I knew an AMAB nonbinary person who, to those who had never done the gender rodeo before, looked strikingly like a cis man. They were big, broad, with a thick scruffy beard. They dressed masculinely. It was clear by talking to them for even a second that their masculinity was incredibly queer, but to most people they wouldn’t read that way, even with pronoun pins displayed proudly on their chest.

They described themself as “soft masc” and their gender felt very similar to me to so many butches I had met. They toyed with the label themself. Their attraction to women fell under a pretty sapphic umbrella and in plenty of cases were welcomed by queer women, trans and cis alike.

But often they felt more comfortable in transmasc spaces because, as was apparently a cardinal sin in many transfemme spaces, they liked their masculinity.

They got accused of faking being trans. They were implied to be stealing space from trans women. And then accused by wlws of being a predatory cis man invading space to get to women. They constantly had to walk a narrow path to not be seen as something sinister because they weren’t feminine.

Because masculine is seen as equivalent to “man” and “man” is bad. It’s predatory and violent only ever and always.

And over and over and over and over again anti-masculinity folks claim that this stance protects women and transfemmes. But you are never ever ever going to be normal about “women and nonbinary folx” if you hate masculinity so bad! You will never be normal about butches. You will never be normal about transmascs. And you will never be normal about ANYONE who is AMAB. Even the feminine ones.

A trans woman who is a masc lesbian is going to be a predator to you. A trans woman who doesn’t pass well enough for you is going to be a predator to you. A trans woman who LIKES her masculinity or masculine features is always gonna be a faker trying to evilly sneak into your sacred spaces.

Cis women for sure push this shitty narrative, as do trans men and transmascs who think they’re falling on their sword for Women™️ to atone for the sin of being masculine or worse, men; but oof so do trans women and transfemmes who think policing binary gender conformity will protect them.

#antimasculism #anti masculinity #‘masculinity is always rewarded’ #not when it’s women!!! #not when it’s trans people!!! ESPECIALLY AMAB folks #not when it’s someone who is ‘supposed to be’ a woman!!!

[gay-otlc]

Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.

#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man #and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans #but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women! #and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women #let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever #or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him' #yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge #transhet #anti-transmasculinity #again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too #antimasculism

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

I have to get this off my chest: Femininity is not liberating for everyone. Especially not for people who were forced into femininity. Masculinity is not inherently bad. For a lot of people masculinity is far more comforting and liberating than femininity will ever be. Do the work to separate your trauma with cis men and toxic masculinity, and stop hurting transmasc people with your bs bio/gender essentialist rhetoric. Trans men and trans masc people are not your enemies, masculinity is not your enemy, and femininity is not always your friend. As long as it’s not hurting people let trans men be happy to be masculine. To deny trans men their masculinity is transphobic. You aren’t less transphobic towards trans men just because you say how pretty transfems are every fifteen seconds for brownie points, bc this demonization of masculinity hurts them too. Trans joy includes affirming masculinity.

#trans men #transandrophobia #antimasculism

[kelpiane]

I think my favorite part about being a trans man is when I was questioning I was constantly bombarded with people wanting me to not be a man specifically, even telling me I’m not masculine enough and am probably nonbinary because the idea of simply being a man is just that bad

I remember my aunt literally telling me that it was okay and she supports me as long as I don’t “become a man” like what??

Like it wasn’t enough to just leave a questioning kid alone, you had to interfere with it and make his life so much harder because you just hate men that much and don’t want them in queer communities

#kelpiane posts #transandrophobia #antimasculism #transmasc #transgender #lgbtq community

[cardentist]

"yes trans mascs experience transphobia, but there's no such thing as trans mascs experiencing bigotry Specifically Related to them being men/from being related to men"

my mom, after some time sorting her feelings and sifting through trans resources, was accepting of my being a trans person. it took work, but it happened. she sought out trans media from trans people, she took initiative to inform other family members and put herself between me and them.

and she completely refused to even start the process of Maybe getting me on testosterone for 10 years, until I aged out of being covered by her health insurance and couldn't afford to do it myself.

Specifically And Entirely because she was terrified that testosterone was going to make me an angry, violent person. that it was going to, in her own word, "give me roid rage."

for years she made vague pantomimes about eventually seeing about transitioning, but That reasoning would still come up no matter how I tried to explain it to her otherwise.

I am not a particularly violent person, if maybe stubborn. but that didn't matter. what Mattered is that my mother had a preconceived notion of what testosterone does, what Masculinity Does, and that notion was an inherently negative, scary one.

and Because Of That I was denied access to resources That I Need for Years. something that has carried over into the rest of my adult life.

and I see sentiments like hers online, even and sometimes Especially in trans spaces, all the time.

this vision of men as inherently violent, of masculinity as inherently dangerous, and the onus placed in the laps of Trans Men (and often, on Trans Boys) to diminish and shrink themselves to Prove that they're non-threatening enough to be tolerated.

and it bares pointing out that this Isn't just something that affects trans men. trans Women are just as affected by this association with maleness as an inherently corrupting factor. and so to are butch women and nonbinary people presented as violent and scary.

likewise, I see Similar sentiments pushed at butches and trans mascs that it's their job to Protect other people within the queer community, that image of violence and anger filtered through a softer light designating their Use. you're Allowed to be a Scary Masculine Creature as long as you dedicate yourself to protecting the weaker frailer other (which is, you know. Sexist And Weird).

but it's like. people don't Want to think about different kinds of trans and gnc people having overlapping experiences, so instead people like to decide which Kind of people are allowed to have this experience and cut other sorts of people out of those conversations.

it's not about what a particular person's gender or presentation Is, it's how that person Is Perceived and the way that they're treated Because Of that perception. sometimes this transphobia that fears masculinity looks like a perception of scary men trying to pretend to be women, sometimes it looks like a perception of women Becoming scary men, and everything that lies in between (with combinations therein).

finding a term that is used to describe this is Useful not just for giving trans mascs a way to talk about their experiences without encroaching on other conversations about transness. but Also in giving us words to describe a specific phenomenon that Can affect All trans people (and gnc people, and genderqueer people, etc), but that is difficult for us to recognize as a shared experience because people seem to think that sharing experiences is either impossible or a bad thing.

#discourse #trans unity #queer unity #transphobia #transandrophobia #or #antimasculism #if you prefer

[transmascissues]

this feels like a particularly relevant follow-up to my last post.

don’t let your biases prevent you from extending the same care to men facing violence that you extend to the women and children who face that violence. being men does not make palestinian men’s lives worth less, nor does it make their deaths less any tragic. they deserve to have people fighting for them. they deserve our care.

#free palestine #antimasculism

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

#antimasculism #transandrophobia #surely its fair to say we experience the same level of privilege yes? #notice how theres no trans men in positions of power #notice how we're none of the top richest people in the world and its all cis ppl mostly men #notice how we're still more likely to live in poverty than average cis men also #notice how we've never been able to actually exercise this supposed power we have by default of being men #its almost like theres more it to that and its the fact that we're trans which might come as a surprise to some but its kinda a huge #fuckin handicap in life!

[gay-otlc]

Every time I make a post about the demonization of heterosexuality (especially male heterosexuality) in queer spaces I get people in the comments like "oh, so we're defending the Straights now 🙄" and I'm so fucking tired. Like first of all tell me you have zero critical thinking skills without telling me you have zero critical thinking skills, and second of all, yeah!!! We should defend the straights!!! Because if your anti-heterosexuality stance ends up turning into transphobia, which it inevitably does, then it needs to stop! We should defend trans people and there's no way to do that and continue shitting on (male) heterosexuality! Owning The Straights™ is not more important than actual trans people please use your fucking brains

#transhet #i am. so so so very tired of internet queers #nothing happened i'm just pissed off & this is something that's been building up for a while #if anyone starts shit on this post i will kill you <2 #antimasculism

[obsessive-calamity]

Trans men deserve to be believed for their experiences with transphobia. I'm so tired of people treating a trans man's relation to transphobia as "tangential" or a "quirk," and not a genuine part of how transphobia operates on a societal level.

I have been kicked from public accommodations, segregated from my peers, groped, sexually harassed, been threatened ... amongst other things. These things didn't just happen via RNG - they happened due to my transness and my maleness not matching with cisness and maleness. This is MEANT to happen in a society that fundamentally hates trans people and transness - this is not a fucking glitch in the Matrix.

#transandrophobia #antimasculism #text #trans men #andrew.txt

[stopcannibalizingourown]

I don't know that I believe in there being a single core throughline of one form of oppression, let alone multiple, so take this less as "this is the source of all ills" and more "this is yet another thing making life harder for a lot of people," but:

I think there's two characteristics that are necessary for gender-focused spaces to be safe for me (and a lot of others) that I often find to be unfortunately lacking. They're not the only two characteristics, mind you, but they're the ones I'm focusing on in the limited span of this post.

1. They recognize that experiencing misogyny while also being perceived (correctly or incorrectly) as masculine very often makes the misogyny worse. Definitely not always, maybe not almost always, but very, very often. I would argue the majority of the time.

2. Crucially, they do not believe this is an experience limited to their own demographic. They understand that this can can happen because you're intersex, because you were amab, because you're on testosterone hrt, because you're black or brown, because you're fat, because you're a butch, et cetera.

I don't really have it in me to write a satisfying endcap to this post so please do me a favor and just pretend I did.

#antimasculism #misogyny

[man-squared]

Dunking on men who show any emotions or try to talk through their emotions is very antithetical to feminism.

You can't be upset about the seeming lack of emotions and communication from men and then mock them when they cry or call them manipulative when they simply want to vent to you as friends.

You can't want to eradicate gender roles and stereotypes but suppress men back into them.

I see people who self-id as feminists do this all the time, and I just don't see how this works for their cause.

#men #feminism #gender #essentialism #antimasculism #emotions #mental health #man²

[kelpiane]

I think something a lot of people don’t understand about TERFs is that that they hate trans women because they’re amab, they hate trans men because they are transitioning to men, and they hate nonbinary people for the same thing depending on their agab.

It’s never been about “who is more oppressed” or “protecting young girls.” It’s about breaking up the trans community so they can oppress us more successfully: divide and conquer.

They’re extremists, it’s what they do; twist your own ideals and biases against you.

#kelpiane posts #transandrophobia #antimasculism #feminism #transgender #trans community #lgbtq community #transmasc #transfem #ftm #mtf