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flowerflamestars · 3 years

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I'm in a very angry-with-the-IC-and-Rhys-in-particular mood, and since I'm just rereading Daylight I was wondering, what is going through Rhysand's mind throughout the events of Daylight? Because it's basically his entire life CRUMBLING around him and I'd love to see the mental gymnastics he does to fit it all into his "I'm the good guy, actually" narrative. Or just his general reaction.

this is a FABULOUS question, thank you!

Daylight! Rhys is, in my opinion, the closest to a canonical (pre-acosf) character representation that I go for. He's so SO fucked up, and sublimating and burying all that trauma has, of course, failed, and it's all manifesting, in all these different directions.

To understand the level on which Rhys is losing his shit, it's important to go back to the very beginning: Rhysand, to Rhysand, is always, always the hero of the story. The down on his luck knight with truth in his heart. The struggling, just man.

He CANNOT seeing beyond himself for even a second. He casts himself in the most important role, as the only person whose personal consequences exist.

His mother, at probable great risk, takes him to Illyria to be trained- the precious, first-born, godly son of Night. To learn to fight- to learn, presumably, her culture- to see what that culture is reduced to, a harshness he will on day have the power to change. Rhys had to be, at some point, a great hope for Not High Fae denizens of the Court.

What does Rhysie learn? Illyria is harsh. Illyria is bad. Backwards and cruel.

He hates his father for...presumably, the crime of being a pretty traditional High Lord? Rhys hates the cruelties! the Court of Nightmares! the broken system!

So what does Rhys do when he has power? he fires everyone. He doesn't like them, he doesn't like whatever they did under his father...so instead of hiring new people, he removes himself entirely from a potential role in changing/mitigating those policies. See also: the Court of Nightmares, cowed occasionally, but not in any way governed by Rhys.

But he's the hero! He's destroyed the oppression! His Court of Just his Bros is made of women and Illyrians!

(Rhys removed the terribleness from his direct experience...because only his experiences matter)

So, Rhys in his head: the struggle, the hero, the man just trying to do it right.

Which brings us to Daylight....and Feyre. I know we can attribute the way the characters stop even remotely being sympathetic between acomaf and...everything else...to poor writing, but I also think there's some (maybe accidental but PERFECT) character work there: in acomaf, pre-acknowledged bond, Feyre is an important possession/ally- she's on the same level as the other members of the Court of Dreams, if the jewel of the collection, a high point in the story Rhys tells himself: HE saved the HERO OF PRYTHIAN

(which...let's not even touch on the fact that the deal he makes in acotar is CREEPY and he can only justify it later. she wasn't someone he wanted to work with in acotar- she was a vulnerable, hot young woman he fully took advantage of)

And then they're mates.

And then, slowly but surely, Feyre's personhood disappears. For two reasons: 1) Feyre is on a pedestal so sky-high it blots out everything. Good, pure, true hero Feyre whose adoration Rhysand needs like air. the happy end of his story, the prize and the salvation, the one who sees him.

and 2) ultimately, to Rhys, Feyre is an extension of him. A symbol: his happiness, his peace, his endless power, what he fought to keep.

She's his whole anchor staying sane, which isn't great, considering...ya know, everything. But the Story is Over. They are Happy.

Except- except- nothing is over. Post fifty straight years of torture, a freefall into war and fuckery, teen marriage and literal death, the consequences for all those things AND THE SHIT RHYS WAS PULLING LONG BEFORE AMARANTHA TURNED HIM INTO A CHEW TOY, are still present.

But now, he has something to protect. His golden future. His puppy Mate.

Because Feyre's safety is the safety of his power and vice versa. Anything he does is justifiable because the loss of Feyre is Not an Option. She is Happy. They Are Happy.

It bleeds into everything- and then it intensifies, because this is the breaking point.

The Az/Lucien thing and Feyre incredibly hurtful blindness? No Rhys isn't going to interfere- Az is so private anyway- if Feyre believes its a romantic bond, Feyre is right, she knows her sister, not that it matters because Elain is totally out of her mind.

Sending Cassian to Illyria? Illyria is a backwards shithole right? They're fierce fighters and that's what Rhys values them for- as the hammer of his power- and nothing else? why would there be anything else? Look at them fighting and hurting each other.

Nesta runs and Cassian is left throwing himself in battles actively trying to die and Rhys? Rhys is totally smug. A problem that hurt Feyre and his brother is GONE.

But it's not gone. Az isn't talking to anyone- and Rhys thinks this probably means Lucien is probably, finally fucking him- but even Feyre understands that Azriel knows where Nesta is. When this is proved (when Elain surfaces and they have the very fun kitchen fight) Rhys isn't happy- but he understands. Azriel has always felt responsible for broken things.

But thats not his job, it's Rhysands job, and Rhys has already made that tough choice for the safety of his own: Nesta has no place here. When she resurfaces inevitably, broke and wanting something, Rhys will stop her before she gets close enough to upset (hurt) Feyre. It's his job.

Cassian goes missing, and Rhysand sets upon what will become his eventual move: Illyria's value is strength. (a martial strength that belongs to RHYS). But they think they can take from him? They can destroy their own best chance? (Rhys recognizes Cassian's value to Illyria even while, you know, ordering him to slaughter Illyrians) They would threaten his power? hurt his family?

Rhys will not allow a world to exist where Feyre can be hurt.

If Illyria can't be controlled, Illyria will be put down, like the rabid creatures they are. (They were always backwards, Rhys thinks. Freeing my mother was the one good thing my father ever did)

But Cassian lives.

Rhys asks Azriel if he's been cursed. Az laughs in his face.

And Cassian is a terrible enemy to have. The strategies the loyalists are using? His, filtered through Rhys. The magical contingencies? Cassian and Az, trying to prevent bloodshed.

Feyre thinks, for a long time, that maybe the rebels have Nesta. What else could compel Cassian to even care? these people keep trying to kill him. they want to kill Rhys. the brothers suffered in the frozen mud at the hands of these monsters, what is Cassian doing?

And then the massacre happens.

And Feyre sick to her stomach, cries when she hears. Rhysand thinks about a little hazel eyed boy who'd never had a bed, a present, who'd been nothing until Rhysand plucked him up- a little boy who'd grown into a dangerous man, who'd just killed every person who ever contributed to his pain. Rhys thinks, knowing he'll have to punish Cassian for this, that it's over.

The camp lords are dead, it has to be over.

(Azriel hears and understands- because he knows damn well Cassian was something before Rhysand, and after despite him. That beneath those repeatedly broken ribs is a heart that was once so big so save him, grown strong enough now to save everyone who was like them: forgotten, abandoned, used.)

It's not over. The mountains are burning. Banners fly on northern wind in a language long dead. They're singing, the spies say, they call him dawn. Loyal-heart-as-dawn.

It's Cassians name. Not that Rhys, who never knew more than a few vile insults in the language of his mother's ancient, proud people, understood it then.

Rhysand, the long-suffering hero of his own story, has been betrayed.

He can risk no more- it's time to end this madness. It's Feyre's idea to use Elain- it's Feyre who is left crying, a betrayal Rhysand will never forget- when Elain, who they've given everything, Elain, perhaps just as broken and wretched as her eldest sister, refuses to help keep Feyre safe.

(Elain refuses to participate in what she sees as genocide, but as we've established, what consequences exist? the ones Rhys feels right in front of his face)

Azriel, Elain, and Lucien run.

Of course, if both Feyre's sisters are capable of betraying her, of course, both of Rhysand's brothers would as well. They are one in the same, aren't they? Marked by destiny, by fate for this hard and terrible work- of course it hurts. Of course- but Rhysand will stop it from hurting Feyre any more.

There's one force in the world that can stand in truth against Illyria. The Darkbringers- their ancestral, ancient conquers.

(Yes, I do think Rhys knows the shitty, shitty history of his court! He just doesn't care! He didn't do it. He's different. He's in Velaris with the common people. He has wings. He's not his father.)

(He is, in fact, far worse)

When he thinks of it, it seems perfect. Illyria will be destroyed- a loss, but a safe one. Keir, will, almost certainly, also be destroyed or at least critically weakened.

Rhysand will stand alone, the man who was willing to do anything for peace. He will rule over an emptied playing field, secure in a world where Feyre is safe.

The Hewn City empties, the armies march- Rhysand holds tight Feyre's hand, says nothing about the fact that nothing, nothing, will stop Keir from killing anyone in front of him when battle starts, and reaches once more for Cassian's mind.

His brother, his friend, his loyal right hand- he begs him to come back. To come home. That they can put down this rebellion and in his love for Cassian everything can go back to how it is meant to be, all of them together.

It does not occur to him to address the hundreds dead. The system he was complicit in and responsible for that ground a culture to dust and ash- what matters is brother against brother should never have turned, and Rhys, in his kindness, will offer Cassian this last chance for honor.

Rhys doesn't want Cassian to die- he wants Cassian by his side- but he will drown the world in blood before he'll lose his crown and hope and Feyre.

And when Cassian dies, falling to the earth in Rhysand's arms, Rhys thinks of penance.

A circle closed.

But of course- Cassian wakes. Death is not done with her right hand anymore than the contract between Lordship and land in immutable. Cassian brought the magic back, brought Illyria back.

Rhys is fighting for something personal- Cassian is fighting for a whole world and future, with everything in himself.

When the new border is drawn, Rhys doesn't despair- sure he's shaking, he's covered in Cassian's blood, his twelve thousand year old walls are smoking and the whole world smells like fucking Nesta Archeron- he's been the victim of curses before.

He won't let it keep him down. He'll be fine. He has Feyre, they're safe. Illyria is going to implode- and maybe, maybe, he'll save some of those that remain when the violence is too much, when they need a real High Lord.

They'll come home. Just like Feyre's sisters will. Rhysand's brothers. They fought for peace and Velaris has it- it is their home.

It's what they fought for, the happy ending, and it's all worth it.

It has to be worth it.

#Rhys is deadset a huge narcissist #and in the middle of a breakdown the entirety of daylight #he's SO HURT #But's turning all that hurt into anger #and an even stricter paranoia #its all catching up to him #everything from imperialism #to the shitty way he treated his friends #to the Winter Massacre that yes was absolutely him #this is more of a Shoreless Concept but all of feysand can be summed up #by Feyre making teary BUT WE'RE FAMILY demands and Rhys immediately committing a literal warcrime #and like #I do think Rhys hates himself too #but for wildly the wrong reasons #and never more or in a real way that overcomes how much he thinks everything he does is right #Cassian's death was a cost to them #as Nesta tells Feyre: what's done cannot be undone. Rhys chose wrong #the truly bonkers Rhys thing in canon #will always be that he's both represented as Most Powerful Ever #and the wrongly ignored underdog #when in fact he throws around power constantly for petty shitty reasons

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mllemaenad · 4 years

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So I just started a new DA2 playthrough, and remembered something that I'd love to get your thoughts and opinions on, especially since your Joanna romanced Anders. If you give Fenris to Danarius, basically everyone disapproves, except Anders, who actually *approves*. I understand the basics: he's so far gone to his cause he wants everyone who disagrees with him *gone*, fellow ex-slave or no, but I'd love to see if you had a more in-depth thought process on it. Thanks!

Hi. :)

I ... honestly don’t have much in the way of deep thoughts on Anders himself here, because I don’t think Anders is the core problem. I’ve seen people wring their hands over that +5 before, and it’s always confused me. I feel like if you’re worrying about the minutiae of a +5 to friendship you are not grappling with the full horror of what just happened. This whole quest is a catastrophic failure of the friendship/rivalry system.

So - the quest page is here.

Digging a little further tells me that on XBox, at least, Isabela will give a +5 to rivalry for the threat to Fenris’s sister, but nothing for Fenris himself. She has a line, objecting to Hawke’s actions, but no friendship/rivalry change.

I mean - what the hell are we looking at here? Do you know? Because I absolutely do not.

We have a solid +10 rivalry average for handing a friend over to a slaver. I can make that back with two moderately funny purple responses in the right places. In fact, as this is an Act 3 quest I would imagine that many people are missing some or all of these changes because they’ve already maxed out their companions’ scores one way or another. It’s an utter non-event.

Merrill, whose people were enslaved en masse by Tevinter, who lost her whole culture to them and is scrabbling to reclaim it, gives a +10 to rivalry when a fellow elf is handed over to a Tevinter Magister for enslavement and torture. Isabela, the pirate captain who liberates slaves has no followup on that at all. Our biggest rivalry gain is from Aveline, at +15, and - wow. Impressive. A whole 15 rivalry points for doing the worst possible thing to a long-time friend and comrade.

+10! +10! What does it mean? “We can still go for drinks later, but we’re going to sulk”? “Hawke, you’re barred from game night for the next two weeks for that silliness”? I can’t let it go. Those little +10s to rivalry make me much angrier than Anders’s +5 to friendship because they’re treated as sufficient. Anders’s +5 causes distress and dismay, because it worries people that he approves of slavery, but a tiny +10 to rivalry for one of the worst things you can do in this game - and we are not a little bit worried about everyone else’s moral compass?

This isn’t the dealbreaker? This isn’t the day we all leave and never talk to Hawke again? Why the fuck not?

So - for context, in The Urn of Sacred Ashes, back in Origins, Leliana will literally fight you to the death over desecrating the relic; if you spare Loghain in The Landsmeet, Alistair will leave you; if you don’t murder Anders in The Last Straw in retaliation for the death of Grand Cleric Elthina, Sebastian will leave and wage war on Kirkwall. But we can give Fenris to a slaver and it’s fucking fine. Oh, we’re a little annoyed, but we’ll get over it

I am so angry. Not at you, for talking about it, but at the writing in this quest. I don’t think there’s anything very meaningful to be said about Anders specifically. He and Fenris loathe each other. They fight and they poke each other’s sore spots. It seemed like a good idea to someone to give Anders a minor friendship bump if Fenris leaves. When the positions are (broadly speaking) reversed, and Fenris gets to comment on Anders’s fate in The Last Straw he says “He wants to die. Kill him and be done with it”. This is not Fenris having strong opinions about the mage rebellion - although he does have those elsewhere. This is a very broad, facile “fuck that guy”. Obviously the circumstances differ, but in terms of caring about each other’s wellbeing they’re about the same. Fuck that guy. If he’s going away, I’m having a good day.

Was it tacky for Bioware to put that +5 friendship into Alone? Yes. Definitely. But I don’t think it means anything at all about Anders or his view on slavery or his cause, because if I did think that, I’d have to think the other companions’ responses were significant too. I’d have to think that their firm position on this is to wrinkle their collective noses a little and then forget about it. And - I’m just going to do the obvious and gesture emphatically at Isabela’s whole character arc here in refutation of that.

I’m not opposed to evil choices in RPGs. That’s ... kind of how role playing works. But this one is so utterly facile as to be revolting. There are no meaningful consequences for this. And while it is possible to do other revolting things in Dragon Age, things done to companions stand out, because from a narrative perspective they matter. We can say in theory that the deaths of unnamed NPCs are bad and wrong - but it will be the characters we know and love that we mourn over. This isn’t the only bad choice you can make, but it’s a really big one.

For Joanna - this is a non-issue. She’s not going to hand anyone over to a slaver, much less her friend, so (mercifully) I do not have to try to rationalise this nonsense.

For anyone going to because they’ve committed to an evil playthrough? This might be a really good time to bring in “Varric is an unreliable narrator” and head canon yourself some reasonable fallout.

#pocketfox #dragon age #dragon age 2 #Hawke #fenris #anders #joanna hawke

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wendystales · 3 years

Text

Memories - lrh (Chapter Fourteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Thirteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Fifteen

We stopped in front of the new location of The Art of Taste, where a group of people were waiting to enter. The entire facade was lit with small bulbs wrapped around the bushes, which framed the outside.

My mom is the first out of the car, excited, barely expecting Luke and me. She takes the lead, going straight to security and showing us our invitations.

“She's very excited”. Hemmo comments from beside me, offering me his arm.

“You have no idea.” I open a smile.

We followed my mother as she led the way, looking for Mr. Marshall. I appreciate the decor of the place and fall in love with the small wooden bridge that leads into the restaurant, passing by a pond with koi.

"Debra! You came!” Mr. Marshall approaches as excited as my mother. “You’re stunning.” her cheeks blush.

“Oh, not that much. It's an old little dress I had in the back of the closet.” she lowers her head shyly.

"Didn't she say she bought the dress today?" Luke whispered confusedly to me, almost making me laugh. I watch the two lovebirds praising and flirting like two teenagers.

"Marnie! I'm happy for your presence too.” he hugs me. “You must be Luke! Debra talks about you a lot.” he opens a sympathetic smile.

Subtly, I widen my eyes at my mom, wanting to scold her, but she just shrugged, ignoring me. Luke smiles sympathetically and handles the situation perfectly.

Mr. Marshall takes us to a more private table and away from the window for more privacy. I sit next to Luke, having a full view of whoever enters the restaurant.

“I'm going to have the menu degustations served, and if you don't mind, I'm going to steal Debra for a while.” he smiles at my mother.

“Be my guest!” I open a tight smile, very happy for them.

"Is there something I should know?" Luke asks me after the two walk away arm in arm.

“They're in love, but they don't know what to do.” Summary, still watching the them.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it." Luke repeats the same thing I said yesterday. I let out a laugh, disbelieving his audacity.

“Sorry, there was no time.” I raise my eyebrows, like he does.

Yesterday was a special night with Luke. After Urban Light, we went to Santa Monica, to sit on the sand and watch the sea, illuminated by the lights from the pier. It was fun to have this time with him without anyone looking at us like fools for whatever move we made.

It was nice to meet him and know everything he likes and dislikes, as well as getting to know the band's history better. For moments like this, just the two of us, I could let him get closer, totally letting my guard down and creating a better relationship.

Of course because of this endless conversation we had and cause we got super late back home, today I woke up looking like a zombie and only managed to get out of bed by a miracle. But even tired, I would do everything exactly the same, just to be able to spend this time with him.

"Should we wait for the girls?" I question, seeing a board of small toast and various types of sauces and pates being served to us.

“I believe not!” he's the first to take the toast and dip it in a red sauce.

I follow him, quickly taking two and sinking into the same sauce. Tomato and basil. I let out an exclamation when I taste it. I start to eat more, after all, I didn't even have time to have lunch today and I didn't even want to, because I knew I would eat here.

I had invited everyone to come to the opening today, but only Luke, Leah, and Kyleen agreed right away. Calum, Ash and Noah had other commitments and Michael also tried to use this one, but Ashton soon revealed the lie, saying that he was actually going on a date, with that Sophie.

"You didn't have lunch today, did you?" I stop the toast in the air, mouth open, watching Luke look me curious.

“I didn’t have time.” I answer a little embarrassed.

“Well, if we run out of those toast, just ask for more.” he takes one more, sinking now into a green pate. I watch his face, trying to guess what that would be.

“Pesto?” I ask, looking at the pot. Luke denies it. I smell the content not identifying much.

"A bitter taste." he make a face. “No! It's a good bitter.” he adds quickly.

When I least notice, Hemmings and I are playing russian roulette with sauce and pates. We just don't know how to just eat quietly, we have to play.

"Bad?" I ask, watching him close his eyes and wrinkle his nose. Luke nodded, swallowing and eating another toast with the tuna pate, which was what we liked best.

"A taste of… I can't explain it. Eats!” he offers me the toast with the white pate and small green bits.

“No! Don't you know what it is and want to push it to me?” I drop the toast on my plate, wanting distance.

Interrupting our little discussion, Leah and Kyleen arrive.

“Sorry we’re late. There was an accident on the expressway. Have you started eating yet?” Leah glances across the table sulkily.

"M&Ms didn't have lunch." Luke hands it to me. I slap his arm.

“Great, there are two of us.” Kiki smiles, already eating some toast. "What is this one?" she points to the weird pate.

“We haven't eaten yet, but try it there.” Hemmings encourages, surprising me with his performance. I stare at him laughing.

Like Luke, Kiki grimaces, disapproving of the pate. I offer my glass of juice to her, which she drinks in one gulp.

“This is horrible. What is that?” she whispers disgustedly.

Luke steals the menu from the next table, looking for the pate. I squint at the ingredients: ricotta, gorgonzola and pickles. I understand why it's horrible.

It doesn't take long and more stuff arrives at our table. Once again, we started our russian roulette, trying everything out and grading, as if we were at MasterChef. We really don't have maturity for anything.

Looking at the restaurant entrance, I start nudging Luke, flustered, discreetly asking him and the girls to look too. Surprised and excited, we watched Michael approach our table, hand in hand with a girl shorter than him.

“Is it her?” I try to contain my excited voice.

“It's her!” Hemmo confirms.

“Okay! But who is she?” Kyleen asks, lost.

“They met at a game match and now Michael is in love.” I almost run over my words, trying to deliver the information before they arrived.

"I didn't tell you." Luke already takes his off the line.

“Hey!” Michael sighs standing next to the table.

“Hey!” aside from Luke, the girls and I were all smiles.

“This is Sophie! My friend.” Mike introduces. The girl with dark hair and two streaks white, like Narcissa in Harry Potter, smiles shyly.

“Sorry for the delay, we got lost.” her voice is low.

“Actually, I didn't want to come.” Michael doesn't even bother to lie. If it wasn't a public place, I'd throw a shoe on him.

Sophie excuses herself and heads to the bathroom as we pull another table for them. Michael sits across from Luke, leaving Sophie in mine and Leah beside her.

“Please, I'll pay you whatever you want, but don't embarrass me.” Mike begs. “I like her a lot.” he admits it quietly.

"Awn!" me and the girls hold hands, dying of love.

“I hate you.” he declares.

“To show that we are willing to help, do not eat the white pate. It’s not from this world. And not in the good way.” Leah warns him.

Sophie returns to the table, taking a seat across from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how Michael's posture becomes tense. He's so into her. Without needing much, we start a conversation and Sophie slowly walks in, forming a group.

“This gaming field must be shit, right? I mean, for who is a woman, isn't it?” Kyleen asks.

“Yea! No man likes to lose to a woman. They never accept that I play better than they do. Cause of this, when Michael called me, I thought he was going to argue with me.” she gives a shy smile.

"Actually, I was going to ask for my shield back." he gives an ashamed laugh.

"And complain to me how you lost." she completes, making him laugh. The way they look at each other makes my heart melt.

The four of them get carried away on a subject as I approach Luke.

“They're really cute.” I whisper.

"I think we're both a lot cuter." he snaps, smiling. I open a smile, denying the way he's sassy.

“You were not like this.” I comment with a smile. I take my gaze to the hall, finding my mother walking with Mr. Marshall, still arm in arm. "I think they're cuter than us." Luke follows my gaze.

“All right! She's your mother, I'll give you my arm. Do you think they'll be together?”

“I hope!”

“Are you gossiping about Debra?” I am startled by Kyleen approaching me and joining in our conversation.

"What's the gossip with Debra?" Leah already turns her attention to us.

"Is there gossip about Debra?" Michael leans against the table, moving closer.

I look at the curious faces trying to identify how my mom became the subject of the table. If she knows this, she will kill me!

"Don't let her know that." I declare before I lean against the table and tell her about my mother and Mr. Marshall.

Friday

I feel terrible, not only for the cramps and indisposition, but mainly for having to cancel with Luke. I've waited so long for this date and now I'm here, lying on the couch, suffering for being born a woman.

“Here.” Leah hands me a pain killer and a hot water bottle. I lay my head on her lap, wanting to cry. “It's OK.” she repeats calmly as she cuddles me. She knows why. “You can go out next week, he won't change his mind until then.”

“I know he won’t, but…” I catch my throat, not wanting to accept that I would cry about this, but I can't control it, letting a few tears fall. Damn hormones. “I don't know if I can make it another week, I was so excited.” my voice crack it. “Stop laughing!” I scream when I feel her body move.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! But you look so funny like this. Sorry.” she hugs me, holding back her laughter.

Before I can complain, the doorbell rings and I'm grateful that Kiki has finally arrived with food and a lap where I can cry more. Leah runs to open the door and I feel my heartbeat stop for seconds when his voice reaches me. I lift my head, seeing him come in full of bags and a Petunia on a leash.

“What are you doing here?” I quickly dry my face and try to fix my hair. I look awful. Luke looks at me confused and opens his arms, as if the answer is wide open there.

“I came to take care of you, of course.” he laughs. Leah is behind him, smiling like hell.

I sink my face into the pillow, wanting to cry more. I don't deserve him. I don’t deserve. Luke lets go of Petunia, who runs off to try to climb onto the couch and lick me. Leah helps Luke empty the bags in the kitchen.

While they straighten everything out in the kitchen, I go back to tidying up my appearance, trying to look at least presentable.

"I brought some soup that Calum made. Pain killers, sweets and some facial masks, This always helps you relax and get better.” he comes closer and I just want to bury myself. I look awful.

“I can't believe you came here and still brought all this.” my heart melts at the attitude and smile he gives.

"I'm sorry if you thought you were going to get rid of me." he sits beside me with a bowl of soup, pleasant smell by the way. I move closer, almost getting under his arms and snuggling into his chest. However, I still keep a safe distance and control my urges to cling to him.

“Well, since you’re very well cared for and accompanied. I think I'm on my way.” Leah still has the smile. “Get well.” she kisses my cheek. "Anything, call me. And you, take good care of her.” she orders Luke.

“Promise!” he raises his right hand.

Leah left, leaving us alone. Petunia lying on my lap, curious about the hot water bottle. Luke beside me, holding the bowl and spoonful of broth toward me.

"You know you don't have to spoon-feed me, don't you?" I ask before opening my mouth.

"Can you let me take care of you?" he counters, falsely sulking.

“You can, just don't need…”

“Sh-sh! Eat the soup.” he advances another spoonful into my mouth. I roll my eyes, silent.

"Calum who did it?" I ask impressed, after a few spoonfuls.

“He's been taking some cooking lessons, especially now that he's turned vegetarian.”

"You should do it too, to stop making eggs in the microwave." I let a fake smile in the end.

"Worried about me?" he asks smiling.

"Shut up and give me the soup." I ignored him, taking a deep breath and not smiling under his amused gaze.

Between spoonfuls, I play with Petunia, already feeling much better. At least the urge to cry has passed.

"You said you brought candy." I knelt on the couch, watching him carry the bowl of soup to the sink. Luke laughs, grabbing some white and pink boxes from the fridge.

“Yes, I believe sugar can help.” he puts the boxes on the table and pulls Petunia onto the rug. “You don’t!” she barks. “You can’t!” she barks louder. “Hey! Come! I'll give you your food.” I watch her follow him into the kitchen.

I open the first white box seeing a generous piece of Red Velvet. I pick up the fork he brought and already steal a piece. In the second box, I find four cupcakes and four donuts. My eyes widen as I open the third box.

"Did you go to Mr. Marshall's restaurant?" I question shocked.

“Yea! You said you liked his chocolate cake. He made this one especially for you.” I look at the smaller size cake.

“I don't remember him decorating with M&Ms.” I comment, stealing a piece already.

“Oh, I asked him to do it.”

I close my eyes, letting my body react to that information any way it wants to. He asked them to put M&Ms on my cake because he knows I like it.

Luke returns to sit beside me, picking up a white chocolate cupcake. I hold the box of Red Velvet in my lap, recklessly eating the cake.

"Argh! I feel so guilty. I'm going to get fat like this.” I complain, but without stopping eating.

“You are indisposed, you can eat what you want. Tomorrow we worry about our weight.” Luke speaks with his mouth full.

"I thought you didn't like red desserts." I comment, watching him take a full fork of my cake.

“How do you know that?” he looks at me curiously. Then I realize I've been cornered.

“In an interview last year.” then I fill my mouth, making it impossible for me to continue the conversation.

"Are you still googling me?" he puts again that amused/satisfied smile on his face.

“Of course, you were my boyfriend. I need to know what kind of people I'm getting involved with.” I shrug.

“I understood. Well, I really don't like it. I don't understand the need to make it red.”

“It's to be more aesthetically beautiful. It's like wearing makeup. You use it and looks more beautiful, it enhances your beauty.” Luke stares at me, holding back his laughter. I've seen this same expression when I defended my M&M’s organizer.

“Well, I know you're crazy about this cake, so I brought it.” he shrugs, like it's no big deal. But for me it's something. If Luke still has any intentions of winning me back, he's doing great.

“Thanks.” I advance toward him, kissing his cheek in shyly. I notice Luke is ashamed too, but maintains his pose.

After we stuff ourselves with candy. Luke and I were in the bathroom, trying to put on those face masks. At first I thought he brought it just for me, but when I saw him putting it on, I understood that he would participate body and soul in that night with me.

“This isn't right.” he comments still struggling with that piece of material.

"You didn't put it upside down, did you?" I approach trying to help.

“No! The eyes are here. So why don't stay?” I see the mask slip off his face. I hold back a laugh, taking the material from his hands.

"If you take the cape off, it stays." I pull out the plastic that holds the oils and put it on his face.

“Makes more sense.” he comments, watching me massage his face. “I need to shave.” he says as I massage his cheeks.

“No!” the answer comes out faster than I can think.

Luke stares at me in surprise at the revelation. With my hands still on his face, I notice the mood and walk away, drying my hands.

“And now?” I stare at him behind me in the mirror. Luke just raises his hands and shakes his fingers, demonstrating that we're going to get our nails done. The scene itself is so funny it makes me laugh. He's the best boyfriend anyone could have. "I think we'd better wait the twenty minutes for the mask, so as not to blur our work."

“Truth. Let's get back to the series then.” he turns around, his back to me, crouching down a little. I grab his shoulders and push off, climbing on his back. And like this, we go back to the room, on piggyback.

I go back under the covers, grateful that I'm sitting down because my legs are killing me. How can something that stays in the womb fuck my entire body? I shift uncomfortably, not finding a position that would make my legs stop hurting.

“Is it everything OK?” he asks, hitting play on The Office.

“My legs.” I answer softly, lying down on the couch with my head next to him.

“Turn. Put your legs here.” he pats his lap. I roll over on the couch, leaving my legs in his lap, where within seconds Luke starts massaging my legs.

I roll my eyes, feeling my body soften. A moan wants to escape, but I hold it with all the strength in the world, along with the treacherous declaration that explodes in my chest. They were three dangerous words that could mess with him more than anything else.

“You are incredible!” I exchange the words, feeling more secure in that expression. The blonde chuckles, shaking his head as he squeezes my foot.

I can't focus for a minute on TV. The feel of him touching my skin so gently and stiffly steals all my attention. I shift my gaze between him and the screen so I don't get so in the face that I'm staring at him.

After twenty minutes of the mask, we went back to the bathroom, washing our faces and then starting to do our nails. I'm sitting, glued to Luke, my hand propped up on a pillow in his lap as he applies the black nail polish. Once again I shift my gaze between him and the new episode, but I don't care if he catches me staring in the meantime.

"Did we do that a lot?" I inquire softly. Luke doesn't answer me with words, too focused on his work, just nodding his head positively.

“Especially when you were feeling bad, or when I was really tired and stressed out.” he complements after finishing a hand. “Tv shows, candies, beauty treatments and massage. Once you wanted to invent climbing on my back, massaging me with your feet.” he starts to smile, still focused.

“I'm sorry.” I lay my head against his shoulder. Let out a low laugh, focused on him.

“It wasn't one of our best ideas. But I can't deny that it wasn't good.”

"Were you happy with me? I mean, we had a good relationship, didn't we?” I question after a while.

Luke stops and stares at the wall, maybe thinking. I analyze your profile apprehensive about the delay. Then his eyes connect to mine. It's like a screen, I don't need the answer anymore, it's there, explicit in the glow of his eyes.

“Yes. I believe we had a great relationship.” he goes back to painting my nails, putting the last coat on.

“Itn't was those weird, honeyed types, was it?” curiosity takes me more every second. Luke holds back a laugh, denying it.

“No! I tried once, but you hit me with the pillow. But that's not our style either. It's like wanting Leah to be cute.” he shrugs. "Don't let her know that." he looked at me in alarm.

“I won’t! Honestly, I'm glad it's you here.” he stops and looks at me curiously. “You know…not that she's not amazing. Even because she was taking really good care of me, but…” I swallow with his gaze so fixed on me. Oh Lord, where are the words?! “You are you!” I shrug. "Don't let her know that." I ask in an alarmed way, as well as he.

“I'm me?” he turns more to me.

“Yeah!” I take a deep breath, trying to find myself in the mess I decided to make. “You seem to know how to handle this whole situation and cause…" Why is it so hard for me to say that I enjoy his company? “You know…I like being with you.” I whisper, wanting to crumble into thin air and disappear.

I lower my gaze, not holding that moment. I've known Luke for a month. I know that he only has size and age in his identity, that inside he is as child and silly as the guys. But there's something about him, so subtle and unobtrusive, that intimidates me so much.

“I like being with you too… but something tells me you already know.” the playful tone breaks the pit of shame I was in. I open a shy smile, going back to watching him finish painting my nails.

“Can I ask you something?” I question fearfully, after he finishes. Luke nodded. "How was that day? The one from the accident.”

He just stops. His jaw locks and that glint in his eyes fades. He leans back against the sofa, snorting. I feel bad for causing this discomfort. I'm even thinking about withdrawing the question, however, Luke is already starting to speak.

“You had gone to rehearse for Vogue and then we were supposed to go to lunch cause I turned off your alarm, and then you were late and we can't have breakfast together.” he narrates quietly and with a lost look.

"Why did you turned off my alarm?" I frown, confused.

"Cause I thought that way you'd stay home with me." I pick up my lips, pressing them together so I don't laugh at his pout. “Well, I was at the restaurant when it happened. The manager came to me and told me what happened, apparently was already on the news.” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was the first to arrive, but you were already in attendance, so I only saw you in your room a couple hours later.”

"The nurse said you slept there." I comment quietly, letting my mind wander to that day. Your cheeks are easily pink.

"I wasn't leaving your side." he answers in the same tone.

“Sorry I got you into this. And for being stupid the first time we met…again.” I add.

“It's OK! I mean, it was kind of good.” I widen my eyes, not understanding. “By making you fall in love with me again, I also ended up falling in love with you all over again.”

My heart races. The revelation takes me by surprise, not giving me time to hide the stupid grin gaping at my face. I roll my eyes, looking at the TV, which is currently playing with Jim asking Pam on a date. Ironically, she had the same stupid smile as mine.

"I never said I'm in love with you." I try to maintain my dignity, or whatever I'm supposed to maintain at a time like this.

“It's just a matter of time.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shrug. “You've already admitted that you like being with me. For those who hated me in that hospital, enjoying my presence is already a big step forward.”

I bite my lip, closing my eyes. He can’t be serious.

"I never said I hated you." I look at him, who was focused on the TV.

"And you never said you're not in love with me either." he blinks, smiling in amusement.

“I hate you!” I say loud enough.

“In seventh grade, when a girl said she hated a boy, it's because she liked him.” Luke comments, leaving me speechless, my mouth hanging open. "I will take your silence as a yes."

I kneel down on the couch, taking the pillow from my lap and hitting it. Hemmings starts to laugh as he shields himself from the flurry of beatings I give him. My God, how I hate him.

I return to sit on the couch more relieved, but still with my heart pounding. It's a mixture of very random feelings. I want to hit him at the same time I want to kiss him as I sink his head into the coffee table, telling him how much I like him.

The desire to let these feelings take over me fascinates me. But that's not how I wanted everything to happen between us. Expected to be a little more romantic, with me more tidy and less messy.

"You made me smudge my nail." Finally, I accuse him, sulking.

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moonamite · 2 years

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Deep Shadows: chapter 4

Well, this is... Certainly a palace. Phobos said, sounding remarkably bored. "What? You seen a better one?" Goonie said as quietly as he could, even though the halls were nearly empty. Seen one? No, I LIVED in one. In fact it was my own. Even through the countless lifetimes i've endured, the memory hasn't died in the slightest. Suddenly, a vison that wasn't his own appeared in his head, and he panicked, not knowing what was happening. I'm just sharing a memory with you. Is that really so frightening? He teased the snail for his skittishness. It was absolutely glamorous. Foundations built from the bones of ancient beasts, black marble flooring with shimmering specks of gemstones within, the finest dark wood tipped with gold, all from the most brilliant architecture and craftmanship of the world. The memory felt so extravagant but so bittersweet at the same time. He knew this feeling a little too well, the feeling of missing home and also being so painfully far away from the people you loved. Goonie didn't know if he was actually feeling bad for Phobos or if he was just messing with his head. It's gone now, either to time or to the destructive claws of those invading flying rats. He spat, having gone from somber to hatred in a second. Before he could question him, he continued on to a rant. And it seems now that they've come to infest your planet, because of the inevitable destruction they brought to mine. Don't you see? They are leeching parasites, draining you of your resources while pretending to be humble and kind. Your loaf of a king is as blind as he is thick. And the blue one is the worst of them all- He will be the one to drag this kingdom to ruin! He hissed, his voice becoming almost too loud for Escargon to handle, but Phobos continued. He'll outlive him easily, and then have unchallenged entitlement to the throne. Your king is a fool who doesn't know when to take action. He sighed. But, I suppose that's none of my business, is it? He finished, and Goonie couldn't help but wonder why he didn't kill Meta Knight instantly. Because that would worsen the situation beyond its severity now. When Goonie got to the medical bay, it was blocked off by waddle dee guards wielding spears, and they wouldn't let him in. He'd ask why, but he knew they couldn't talk. Defeated, he sighed and left. It was probably better that he didn't see the king right now, anyway. But then he passed his garden- Or what was left of it. The painful memories came flooding back- Just days ago, it was burnt down, and now all that was left was ashes. He loved it so much, and all he could do was watch as it went up in flames. He tried to stop it, but it didn't change anything. Victory got away unscathed- But not before burning his hand severely. In the end, it didn't have to be amputated, but now it was basically useless. Nobody knew if he'd ever be able to use it again. See? Phobos mused. They bring destruction wherever they go. It seems this generation was unlucky enough to have a Stelli with fire. "Not all of them are like her." He said. There were good ones, too- Like Meta Knight. And Scarlet, and Diamond, and all the other ones he knew. Just like everyone else. There were good and bad people, regardless of species. I know them better than you. Phobos said dangerously, before calming down a bit. Sorry. It's a sensitive topic for me. Very sad what happened to your garden, by the way. But it's all said and done, nothing you can do to bring it back now. He muttered. Goonie didn't say anything. However... I may be able to fix up that hand of yours. Goonie looked up. Can you? Can you do that? I certainly can. But if you want this, i'd suggest going somewhere more private. We don't need anyone finding out about me. Escargon looked around, before sliding into his shell. It was dark in his shell, but his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Dark spots appeared on his palm that quickly spread and grow, soon covering his whole hand. He peeked out of his shell to get better look. It looked like his hand was painted with shadows. It blended perfectly

back into lavender once it met his arm. He stared in amazement. No burns, no pain, nothing. It was exactly the same, but just black. That, and the tips of his paws being just a little more clawlike then they were before. He quickly bandaged it up again before slipping off back down the hallway. Think of this as a gift from me, if you will.

#Deep shadows #Escargoon #kirby fic #my writing

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mistwraiths · 3 years

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2 stars

Apologies for the blurry picture but I couldn't seem to find a good one. The Crown of Gilded Bones is the third book in the From Blood and Ash series. I want everyone to know I'll be putting on my clown makeup after I post this review because despite rating the first two books low and having issues with them, I somehow deluded myself into thinking this one might be better! It wasn't and dare I say it I think this was the worst one by far.

I'm genuinely trying to find something good about this book ot at least something I really enjoyed. I do like that the books pick up right where the last book ends up. The first few chapters are pretty exciting. Around page 600, the last few chapters are fast paced and things are happening. Other than that, I can't really think of anything I really liked about the book.

Crown of Gilded Bones majorly suffers, like its predecessors, in the same four ways. Being too long, repetition, world information and building, and nothing important to the central story or plot happening for huge chunks of pages.

I firmly believe that all the books were half their length and the story beats were quicker coming and longer, it would be far more enjoyable. Instead you're forced to slog through inner monologues that don't add anything new, Poppy getting dressed by Casteel, showers, and other mundane parts. I thought knowing that it would be slow would help me enjoy the book but nope. The whole deciding to go to the realm of the gods literally doesn't happen until nearly the end of 500 pages in.

The worst part about the book being far too long and nothing happening is that when something does happen, it gets rehashed several times to the point where I, as a reader, am exhausted about reading about talking about it. I'm a big lover of communication. I love it when characters who are working together or are together tell each other important information and trust each other, but this is different. Once something happens, it gets talked about it detail for a handful of chapters, usually lasting longer than the actual event itself, and then is brought up again to go over, and then again. It's frustrating because I just want to move on but the story is so determined to go over everything again.

That's not the only instances of repetition. I know authors tend to reuse certain words over again. SJM and her "croon" and "toes curl" and "barked/roared". I can forgive stuff. I can look over Jennifer's constant use of dimples. The honeydew part is the most disgusting. I don't care what flavor Poppy's vagina is. There's a difference when it comes to the same thing happening with the near similar responses/situations being used over and over again as an attempt in humor but it falls flat after its been used several times. I'm talking about the "I have a question" "No one is surprised by that" parts and the Poppy being prone to violence makes Casteel horny and Poppy has to be like you're disturbing. If it showed up once or twice after the initial one, I could get over it. But it's reused every so many chapters. If it's an attempt at humor, it is a poor one.

This book is number three in a series and this book is still chock-full of world building and world information. I could possibly forgive it since I suppose at the start Jennifer didn't plan for a big fantasy series, but it's too much. There's so much information being crammed at you and it's in a very obvious way. Poppy asks and Kiernan or Casteel answers. That's pretty much the only way Poppy and the reader learns anything. At this point, I feel like I need a glossary and timeline because there is so much information.

In fact, despite nothing happening, l don't know how it still feels that there is a lot going on. There's the Solis problem. There's the Poppy should be queen problem. There's the people have concerns of Poppy being queen. There's the Unseen problem. Another Dark One problem? Poppy's lineage/past mystery. Something about waking up the Consort? And a little bit more. It's a lot.

In the second book, I liked Poppy (sort of), Casteel, and Kiernan. However, I find myself not liking any of them that much. From personality to saying similar things, they all feel very much the same character. There's not much difference in personalities or dialogue. About the only difference is that Kiernan is cool, Poppy is compassionate when it suits the narrative, and Casteel is protective. Other than that, there's not much of a difference between any of them.

Poppy is pretty much the same as always. Massively overpowered and incredibly special, doesn't know anything about her world that she lives in, and somehow despite being so special and powerful, she's kidnapped and hurt and then levels up again. We are forcefully spoon-fed how Poppy is so strong, so beautiful, so intelligent and clever. I haven't found one instance that I've been wow that was smart. Poppy's powers she inherently knows how to use perfectly the moment she gets them.

There's also almost no female interactions or female friendships with Poppy. Tawny was barely there in the first one but when she surprisingly shows up here, she's immediately rendered injured and unconscious. We're told Vonetta and Poppy are friends, but there's been almost no interactions. Vonetta gave her clothes once and then delivered a message later. Is that a basis for friendship? Vonetta eventually falls in a hole and Poppy saves her. That's about it. Ileana and Eloana are both older motherly types but also significant worrisome individuals for Poppy internally. Again, there's like one conversation each with them individually. Lyra is introduced to us by giving Kiernan a blow job but no interactions. Hisa and Nova are soldiers but no interactions. It's even mentioned that female draken are rare, but I'd argue that female characters are exceptionally rare. It's ridiculous. It's like there isn't any female that's allowed to have a moment of spotlight or competency other than Poppy. Poppy also has a moment of nastiness that's out of character when she threatens a woman who admitted to her that she had no interest in Casteel and Casteel had said the same and he wasn't interested in her, and she threatens to rip her limb from limb. It's so sudden and startlingly and leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.

As for Casteel, I no longer like him nor do I think he's a good guy. I think he's capable of good, being good, doing good but there's too many times where he's been vocal about killing anyone and burning his own kingdom down if Poppy doesn't get her own freedom of choice or what she want and what not. It's played out as the most truest love but to me, that's like a villain kind of love. If someone I loved burned down a city because I didn't get to choose what I wanted, I'd call the police. The craziest thing I had to read is people believing that Casteel would make a good king when he legitimately states that Poppy's needs comes before his own kingdom's needs. And if hers are met, the kingdom's could be met. That's not how any of that works!

He also does something incredibly reckless. I get it, he couldn't live without Poppy so he chooses to Ascend her. I can wrap my head around it. The fact of the matter is that Casteel refuses to take the blame or even entertain the consequences that could have resulted in that and how reckless it was. Poppy even refuses to allow the conversation. They are both like: I am not a vampry. Nothing bad happened so let's move on. It's astounding. Not only that but I felt it extremely odd that Poppy would have been okay with Casteel making her into a vampry, something incredibly dangerous and something she hates and would never want to be. It's just oh okay well luckily I didn't turn into one. And that's... it? It would have made good tension but no. Instead, they're just in love so much we have to listen to Casteel tell her how strong and beautiful she is every twenty pages.

I was excited to learn more about Kiernan but I still couldn't tell you much about him. Best friends with Casteel, a wolven, and he's always like "no one is surprised by Poppy having question". That's about all I know of him. Those are all things I knew about him in the second book.

Some other things I had issues with is that the villains are eager to spill everything about their plans. I feel like I'm watching a cartoon show with their villain monologues going on and on. Everyone except for Poppy is knowledgeable about everything!! People are constantly apologizing for things they have no control of. Characters somehow know exactly what to say to Poppy all the time like mind reading. I'm annoyed that the gods realm and the draken were such short parts.

When the reveals and the action which took 600 pages to get to happened, I really couldn't find myself caring. Reading felt like a chore. I'm not worried about any of the characters. I don't know if I'm interested anymore in reading this series because it feels like work trying to read it. I'm here for enjoyment and I'm not having a good time.

#jennifer l. armentrout #the crown of gilded bones #steph's book review #steph reads #book review

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paradox-psyc-hoe-sis · 4 years

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The Strongest Avenger

Carol x fem!reader, avengers x reader (platonic)

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: so many oh boy. Attempted angst, fluff, insecurity, broken bones, injections + needles, so much gore, organ removal, vomit. If you're sensitive to any gore then please don't read it, I'm sorry oof

A/n: I've never written anything like this before, so feedback is always welcome. Tamika, if you're reading this, I am going to marry Carol Danvers one day. Try and stop me, I dare you. - Aphrodite

"Your turn, Nat!"

You, Carol, Natasha, Wanda and Peter all sat on the floor of your bedroom. Carol had a week free, so she decided to spend that week back on earth with her best friends; she was completing a 6 month long mission and it had been exactly 123 days since you saw her last. Yes, you were counting. Whenever she returns from a mission, you host a girls night (eith the exception of Peter, of course. He looked up to you all so much, you couldn't just not invite him), and tonight you had decided to play a game of 21 dares. It's practically the exact same as 21 questions, but with dares instead. After all, you were avengers, and none of you were scared of a bit of danger.

"Alright, alright." Nat looked deep in thought before her eyes lit up, thinking of the best dare. "Carol. I dare you to make out with the prettiest person in the room." Peter gasped, making everyone laugh, and you met Carol's eyes. She raised and eyebrow, to which you gave a small nod; next thing you knew, she had scooted over to sit next to you, and casually put her lips on yours. You didn't think too much of it; you and Carol were closer than any of the other avengers were, and she probably felt more comfortable kissing you than anyone else. The fact that she had chosen you as the prettiest never even crossed your mind.

You'd had a crush on Carol since the first time you saw her. It was about two years ago; she was moving into the avengers tower, and you had to give her the tour. Her sandy blonde hair fell casually onto her shoulders, and she wore black jeans with a white jumper. You had offered to carry her bags, but that was a mistake - being roughly half a foot shorter and only having 3% of the strength that she has was the fatal flaw. Over those two years, you and Carol grew to be best friends, and your feelings for her slowly faded. What was once a raging fire of passion had fizzled down into a small candle flame, but it shone bright with hope nonetheless. She hadn't changed since you first met her, yet she now sported short hair, rather than her longer curls.

Oh, and now you were kissing her.

Her lips were soft, contradictory to yours which were chapped and rough. You were so focused on her that you didn't hear Wanda trying to get your attention. Carol snaked a hand up to your neck and opened her mouth slightly more, yet you could still feel her smiling into your mouth. Before you could put a hand on her waist, you felt someone flicking your face. Laughing as you pulled away from her, Carol sat back where she originally was, and gave you a wink. Wanda was now knelt next to you, and it became apparent that she was the one who had flicked you.

"Any longer and we would've had to cover Peter's eyes!" Her accent came out thick between a giggle, and you felt a familiar burning in your cheeks.

☆☆☆☆☆

You rolled over in your bed to look at the time; 1:38 am. The game of 21 dares didn't last much longer after your kiss, and you all crashed on your bed. It was the climax of summer, so you wore only underwear and a tank top while you slept. Being sure not to wake anybody up, you climbed off of the bed, internally thanking your past self for choosing to lay on the side closest to the door. Grabbing a pair of pyjama shorts to slip on, you studied everyone's expressions to make sure they were all still asleep, and your eyes lingered on Carol's face for a bit too long. Peter wasn't there, he must've woken up earlier and gone back to his bedroom, you thought. Sighing, you walked out of the door. Even out in the hallway it was blisteringly warm, so you headed to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

The song Dancing Queen by ABBA has been stuck in your head for weeks, so you quietly sang it to yourself on your way to the living area. Once you got to the kitchen you closed your eyes, still singing, and began dancing in the space that you had. Minutes must have passed before you opened your eyes and saw Steve sat at the dining table. He didn't say anything, but instead took a long sip of the coffee he had. Without even flinching at his sudden appearance, you got your bottle of water, and walked out. As you passed him on the way, you leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"This never happened."

Instead of going back to your room, you headed straight towards the elevator, and made your way to the roof. Stepping out into the warm breeze, you walked closer to the balcony. You noted the clarity of the stars above you yet you saw the sun poking out from above the city skyline, and took a deep breath of the early morning air. Disturbing you from tranquility, the sound of the door behind you opening awoke you from your daze.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite earth human."

You turned and saw Carol stood in the doorway, holding two mugs of cocoa.

"Good morning, space alien. What're you doing up?" She walked over to you and handed you one of the mugs. No whipped cream and extra marshmallows, just how you like it. She knew you so well.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

Before you answered, you took in her appearance. Her short hair was messy as a result of her slumber, and she rocked a matching set of baby pink pyjamas.

"I guess I could say the same. I've had too much on my mind lately." You took a large gulp of your drink, ignoring the fact that its heat felt like molten lava was being poured down your throat. She hummed in response, looking out to the horizon. She turned to you with a frown, sighed, and then asked you a question. "What do you want to do in the future?" The question took you aback, but you knew what you wanted out of life, and you were comfortable telling her. As you thought of your future, you saw a wedding, maybe children, and a steady career.

"Well, once more heroes rise from the future ashes of the avengers, I want to settle down. Helping the earth, and the universe, is everything to me, so I want to work for as long as I can. It would be brilliant to meet somebody soon..." you took a breath, "and possibly fall in love. I don't know about kids, but having somebody to share my life with means the world to me. What about you?"

She was looking at you with such admiration, and you met her gaze. She smiled and turned back to the view, thinking hard. "I think I want to stay on earth." She put it more bluntly than you've ever heard her speak, and you were surprised with the answer.

"Seriously? You literally have super powers, have travelled to so many galaxies, fought the universes biggest threats, and are practically immortal. And at the end of the day, you really want to stay on this junk yard of a planet?"

She faked an offended look and punched you on the arm. "I have more friends of this junk yard of a planet than I do in the entire galaxy. And it's not every day that you get to spend the rest of your life with a group of misfits like us who only care about protecting people. After things have settled down in this realm, I want to stay here to protect my family." You smiled as she turned her head towards you. "And besides, this junk yard of a planet has a very amazing person on it who I'd never be able to get rid of, no matter where I decide to settle down."

You both laughed, and you finished your cocoa. "I'm going back to bed, I promised Natasha that I'd train with her tomorrow and God knows that I need the energy." You smiled and turned to walk away before she grabbed your wrist. Neither of you said anything, but words weren't needed. She pulled you into a hug in which you happily returned, and she gave you a small kiss on the forehead. You stayed like this for a while before you found your eyelids growing heavy. She let you leave for real, this time, and you fell asleep thinking about her.

☆☆☆☆☆

Two days later, you were sat in the conference room with all of the other avengers. Carol sat across the table from you, and you'd love to just stare at her for the entire meeting, but this was important. Somebody in New York had been committing a series of crimes. At first, it was small stuff like shoplifting or stealing somebody's bag on the street. But the longer they were left unnoticed, the bigger their crimes got. Yesterday, you had recieved information that five people were murdered in an attack in the Wall Street building. The criminal went by the name of Neeko, and he always left a note at the scene of the crime. All but one were addressed to the avengers - the note left at Wall Street was addressed to you, and you only. It soon became clear why; you knew all five people killed. One was a former colleague, another was a childhood friend, two of them went to college with you, and the last was your ex-boyfriend. Of course, you were distraught over all of these people being killed, but your determination to catch the killer overpowered your sadness. Steve was

leading the meeting, creating a plan as you went, and you perked up when you heard your name.

"In his last note, Neeko said that if y/n doesn't meet him in the warehouse on 42nd street tonight at 8pm, he'll be attacking one of the schools within the week." Steve looked directly at you. "There's no way that we can find out what school he could be targeting, so we're going to have to use you as bate?"

You nodded, feeling secure. Your family would never let anything bad happen to you, especially not in the hands of a serial killer.

"Now, I don't want to seem condescending, but are you sure you can do this, y/n?" The question came from Sam, who was sat at the opposite end of the table. You glared at him, confused as to what he was talking about.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked calmly, but with a hint of annoyance. They did this to you a lot; you were one of the younger in the group, and you were probably one of the weakest. They'd usually never put you in the centre of a mission, but it was a necessity this time around.

"I'm sure what Sam meant was that five people who are close to your heart have just been murdered." Steve sat in the empty chair next to you. "Are you sure you're stable enough to be put directly into the hands of the person who killed them?"

The wat he phrased it made you furious; they always doubt your abilities, and in this time where protecting your loved ones is more important than ever, they were hesitant to trust you. As soon as he asked you this, you stood up from your chair and stared directly at him.

"Stable? You're asking me if I'm 'stable' enough to be trusted?" You looked around at everybody else. Natasha ducked her head down, Bucky casually shielded his eyes with his hand, Tony gave you a sympathetic look; they all agreed with Steve.

You looked at Carol who gave you a small nod of approval, as if to say 'I wouldn't blame you if you burned down the entire avengers tower just from that remark.' Grabbing your jacket from the back of your chair, you walked out of the conference room. You heard Rhodey calling your name, but you weren't going to go back in there and be treated like a child. You and Carol had arranged to get brunch at 10:30, which was in an hour; you didn't know where you were going, but you were leaving the avengers tower. You needed a break.

Sitting down in a small red booth, you closed your eyes and rubbed your forehead. You went for a walk around the city before going to the diner, and once you were there, you were still far to annoyed to even think about eating. 60s music quietly rumbled from speakers on the walls and the smell of waffles and burgers clouded your thoughts.

"Y/n, are you okay?" You looked up and saw Carol who had just come from the tower. She sat down in the booth and placed her hand on top of yours, stroking the back of yours with her thumb. You sighed before giving her a weak smile.

"They don't think I can do it." You saw her nod, knowing exactly what you were thinking.

"It's not that they don't think you can do it, y/n. They know your abilities and how good you are under pressure, but a few of your friends have just died. They're worried that you might get a bit carried away, or worse."

Before you could reply, Carol got the attention of one of the waitresses and ordered a strawberry and cream waffle for you, and a root beer float for herself. You've both been to this diner so many times together that you each know exactly what you like. As soon as Carol turned back around, you started talking.

"That's the point. They're worried that I can't do my job, when we do this all the time. Every single one of us has been in a situation similar to this; where we've lost someone close to us and have to ignore how we feel, and continue to protect the world. Nobody would dare question Steve or Tony's judgement if they were in my position, so I don't see why they feel the need to question mine."

Carol looked surprised at everything you had just said, and it was clear that she didn't know how to reply. Before she could think of anything to say, you scooted closer to her and wrapped her in a hug. You breathed in the sweet smell of her vanilla perfume and the fresh cotton scent of her tee shirt. She rubbed your back, and you pulled away.

"I have to do this. Not just for myself, or the school kids, or my friends that were killed, but for them. I'm going to smash this mission so hard that they'll never dare question my abilities again." You were both smiling, and Carol gave you a high five.

"That's my girl!"

☆☆☆☆☆

It was nearing 8pm. You, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Natasha and Carol stood outside of the warehouse on 42nd; bringing all of the avengers would seem suspicious, so Steve chose just the right amount of people to protect you and catch Neeko. They were all suited up, except for you. You weren't dressed in your dark purple latex suit, but the skirt and jumper combo that you had worn earlier in the diner. It was your idea; showing up in your suit would alert Neeko and his companions, and make them think that you were planning an attack. Wearing normal clothes would make it seem like you weren't planning anything. When you told Steve, he was impressed that you had come up with the idea, and happily approved. However, you were slightly regretting it now. Being without the suit that Tony had made for you and knowing that you could, possibly, be walking into your place of death gave you a wave of fear, but you brushed it off. You had to prove to the rest of the group that you were more than what they think, or at least you'll die trying.

All of the avengers wore black watches, but when closely inspected, were actually tracking devices. They each had a tiny button on the side that when pressed, would alert every other device of where you were. The button was only to be pressed when you knew you'd be in a certain place for a while, and/or you were in a lot of danger. The button was really only meant to be pressed by you, so the rest of the group knew when to come and get you and where you were. But if another avenger was in trouble and needed backup, they could use it too.

Steve started going over the plan. "As soon as y/n gives us the alert, we head inside. Carol and I will go in from the front and find her, Bucky and Nat will go in from the back to see if there are any hostages or prisoners there, and Tony will fly above the roof and use his scanners to find out how many people inside are working for Neeko."

He gave you a clap on the back. "Are you ready, y/n?" You looked up at him, took a deep breath, and nodded. You were more ready than you'd ever be. You checked the phone in the back of your pocket, which read 7:58pm, it was almost time. Everyone watched as you grabbed Carol's hand, interlaced your fingers, gave it a weak squeeze, and walked straight through the main doors of the warehouse.

Everything smelt damp, and the faint scent of machine oil lingered in the huge hall. You looked around, not seeing a single sign of life in the entire room. You calmly strolled through the warehouse, being sure to stay in the main hall and not get lost in any other rooms.

"Hello? Hellooooo!? Anybody home?" You called into the darkness, hoping somebody would walk out any second. You were about to turn around and make your way back out through the doors before somebody threw a sack over your head. You shouted at whoever was behind you, kicking your legs out in an attempt to knock them over. This failed, and you only aggravated your captor more. They grabbed your shoulders to hold you still, and another pair of hands appeared to tie your wrists together in front of you. The same person who tied your hands also did the same to your ankles, and you felt the familiar pain of rope burn against your wrists and ankles. You continued to shout and scream for help, but the two people who had tied you up had picked you up and carried you away.

When the sack was removed from your head, you were tied to a chair with thick black rope. You looked down at your wrists, and blood dripped down your forearms. Just by looking at your surroundings, you knew you were probably inappropriate storage room; you tried, but failed to reach the button of your tracking device, letting out an angry sigh. The only thing lighting up the room was an old lightbulb above your head, but you could still see what was on the floor surrounding you: bodies. People who you didn't recognize, their organs pooling out of their lacerated stomachs. Their eyes had been gouged out of their faces, and a thick, brown liquid dripped from their mouths. You screamed, not out of fear, but of anger. You shouted until your voice became hoarse and your eyes watered.

Not long afterwards, you heard the locks on the doors being undone. You sat up, preparing for some sort of mob boss to walk in with a set of weapons. Instead, a tall man wearing an apron walked in. He wore a shirt and jeans, a pair of black glasses resting on the bridge of his nose; you would've thought he was a normal person if it wasn't for the heavily blood stained apron he wore. What disgusted you the most was that he looked no older than Tony did. Following him was one of his companions, short and stocky, carrying a sizeable wooden box. Along with them, they brought the scent of blood and rotting bodies.

"It's nice to meet you, y/n." His voice was low and fitting to what you would expect a serial killers voice to be like; thick, eerie, and leaving a sour taste in your mouth. He walked over to you and bent down, examining your face.

"You're a monster."

He chuckled at your stern expression, and didn't reply. You squirmed and wriggled in your seat, desperate to break free and kick him in the balls. Instead of breaking free from the chair, you just caused yourself more pain. Blood continued to slowly drip past your wrists and onto your hands, coating your dainty fingers in pure red. Noticing how desperate you were to get out made him visibly frustrated, so he stood up and gave you a hard punch in the face. This was the hardest you've ever felt somebody punch you, and you've trained with Steve before.

Your ears started ringing and vision went blurry. He had, quite obviously, broken your nose. Blood poured out of your nose like a waterfall, and you could feel a bone sticking out of place. You groaned, sitting up straight in your chair. Although you weren't really listening, he began talking again, pacing around the room.

"I know you and your little group of superheroes have been getting my letters, and I have to say, I'm quite offended," he stopped and looked at you, "you never wrote back. I'm sure your angry, y/n, I really am. After all, I killed some of the people who you trust with your life, and I'm about to do more than just that."

You were confused by what he meant, before his companion handed him a laptop. He placed it on the floor in front of you, and you saw what appeared to be security camera footage of another room in the warehouse. Two people were tied up on chairs just like you, and it took you a moment to recognize who those two people were.

Your parents.

And before you could open you mouth to ask him why your parents were here, another figure appeared on the screen. It was him.

"How are you in two places at once?" You asked, seeming stupid. He laughed again, a low, broad chuckle.

"Oh, you silly girl, I'm not in two places at once. That was recorded half an hour ago." You put two and two together and realised that your parents were here half an hour ago, and the blood on his apron was fresh. You couldn't think of anything to say, so instead, you watched the video. You gasped when Neeko pulled out a knife, and screamed bloody murder when you saw him slit both your mother and your father's throats. You looked away, but he grabbed your head and forced you to see what happened to your parents. With the knife, he cut out their organs and their eyes, being sure to look into the camera every now and again. You were sobbing, your eyes were puffy and red, matching the crimson blood that covered the bottom half of your face.

"That's enough! I can't watch any more!" You screamed up at him, choking on your own sobs. He showed no pity as he flicked his fingers at his companion, who went and collected the wooden box. Neeko opened it in front of you, showing you a syringe full of clear, slightly yellow tinted liquid. Before you could scream for help, he had already put the needle to your neck and injected you with the serum. Your eyelids began to feel too heavy to keep open, and you fell into a deep slumber.

You woke to the sound of knives being sharpened. You were still bound to the chair, but were in a different room. It was much larger, with a few mahogany desks along one of the walls. Instead of paperwork being laid on top of the desk, there was a selection of knives, scissors and other surgical tools. You knew what was about to come, and you were prepared for the worst.

"If you're going to try and kill me then you've picked the wrong fight." Everything hurt as you spoke, but you meant what you said. The avengers would be worried by your lack of alert, and would come and find you. Any minute now, Steve and Carol were bound to break down the door and rescue you.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you, little girl." You hated him calling you that, you were in your mid early twenties but never treated like it, not even from the avengers.

"No, I'm not going to kill you. But what I am going to do is mess you up so badly that you'll never be able to fight with your precious friends ever again, and you'll live with the knowledge that you weren't strong enough to save your parents, and you weren't strong enough to save yourself." You spat at his face, which only made him laugh even more.

Turning his back to you, he picked up a knife from one of the desks. He walked over to you and sat down on an empty chair that you never even realised was beside you. Your legs were bare under your skirt, showing the most skin than any other part of your body. He placed the blade of the knife on the middle of your thigh and slowly pressed it in. You screamed, pure agony surging through you body. Hearing you scream only made Neeko want to continue, so the more you screamed the deeper her pushed the knife. Only the first half of the blade was inside of you, but you only realised how bad it was when you felt the cold metal hit your bone. He pulled the knife out and basked in the sound of your piercing screams. Just in fucking time, you heard a knock on the door. Who in the living hell would be knocking at the door while this was going on?

Neeko rose and went to answer the door. Only opening it slightly, he peered out at who was there. Then, you heard her voice.

"Pizza delivery, motherfuckers." She sent a photon blast directly to his face, and then another to his companion. She strode in, and as soon as she saw you she went pale. Your entire face, arms, thighs and ankles were drained in your own blood, and you were bound to a chair, panting. She ran over to you and broke the ropes with her own hands, and pressed the alert button on her watch. She knelt beside you, and once you were fully untied, you couldn't help but collapse directly on top of her. Your arms were draped over her back as she picked you up in a fire man's lift, walking out of the door to meet the other avengers.

☆☆☆☆☆

It had been 6 days since the night in the warehouse. After passing out, you were taken back to the tower by Carol, Bucky and Nat, where Bruce managed to identify and heal your injuries, to the best of his ability. Steve and Tony caught Neeko and his accomplices, turning them into S.H.I.E.L.D., their fate was to be decided by Nick Fury. It took you 3 days to wake up from your passing out; whatever they had injected you with keeps you asleep for longer, and they had put far too much in you. Once you had finally awoken, you used the next three days to recover in and out of bed, being forced to do mandatory small exercises to ensure your body was working perfectly. The sixth day was your first day fully out of bed, walking around the avengers tower. You needed crutches, as the wound on your leg wasn't big enough for stitches and had to recover independently. Additionally, you wore a small brace on your nose, so your bone could be shaped back into place. The only people you had seen since waking up were Bruce, Steve, and Peter. Steve had come to tell you everything that happened, and Peter came to see if you were okay. Bruce recommended no visitors until you were able to get out of bed, as it could over stimulate you, but Peter couldn't sleep knowing that you were in pain.

Carol left 3 days ago to return to her mission. She was the only person who you wanted to see; you had been through so much, and nobody could get you thought it better than her. Hobbling into the elevator, you went to the roof. You were wearing a onesie, courtesy of Wanda, and just wanted to be alone on the balcony to see the city like you and Carol had done a week ago. Once the elevator doors opened, you felt the chilly evening breeze hit your skin. Before you could step out of the elevator, you saw somebody stood on the balcony. You didn't recognize them at first, but they knew exactly who you were.

"Well well well, my favourite earth human seems to be doing quite well considering that she almost died last week."

Carol turned around and jokingly winced when she saw the state you were in, and you would've laughed if you weren't in complete shock.

"Carol..."

"Y/n."

"What are you doing? You shouldn't still be on earth." You made your way over to meet her on the balcony.

"I couldn't just leave you in a coma while I fight crime across the galaxy."

You laughed, and grabbed her hand, not a single worry crossing your mind.

"I love you, Carol. I have for ages, but I've never appreciated how much you mean to me until now." She smirked, raising a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

"I love you too, y/n." You stood on your tip toes to kiss her, and she pulled back immediately when you did. You worried that you had done something wrong.

"It feels better to do this now that we're actually a couple." You both laughed as she leaned back into the kiss, but instead, she accidentally bonked your brace with her nose, which resulted in even more laughing.

You have been waiting so long for this.

85 notes · View notes

vvakarians · 7 years

Note

I'd love to know 1-32 about Calliope! :>

OH BOY MY DUDE, prepare yourself for all the info under the cut

1. What is their favorite word?

Uh, dragon, of course, at least I’m inclined to say dragon. In elvhen her favorite word would probably be “Enasal” or “Enasalin” which could mean victory in the latter or as the wiki says “joy in triumph over loss” for enasal. Just because those words mean a lot for her.

2. How do they sleep

I mean, not that great in one way this could go, but we’ll get into the how she sleeps first, physically at least. She’s always cold and leeches off everyones body heat so she always keeps a shit ton of blankets in her bed. Not only that but her bed is a four poster with the curtains hanging off of them to keep in the heat, you can imagine her favorite season is summer, also winter because everyone wants to be warm.

On the more emotional side of things, Callie doesn’t sleep very well at any point. As a child it was hard to sleep because of nightmares that her mother would be able to soothe, but her mother died when she was fairly young, after that nights are really the worst time. It only eases a little bit when she finally gets together with her partners, whether in canon with Solas, or with Halla in their au, or Isidoro in my combined canon au with Alexx. Especially after Here Lies the Abyss she can hardly sleep because of both the anchor and because of the dead that call to her at night.

3. Favorite companion

She wouldn’t really be able to choose if directly asked, even those she may not agree with she still loves in her own way for them. Her best friends are Cole, Sera, Dorian, Bull, and Varric though, out of the main companions, as well as Solas, because she romances him. Calliope adores all the advisors, including my Warden-Commander Mahariel who joins with Ophelia (my hawke) after Here Lies the Abyss.

4. What secrets do they keep, untold to anyone?

Calliope is pretty much an open book to anyone that is fairly close to her, but she has some secrets that aren’t widely known except to her twin brother and the Inner Circle. Shockingly the secret has nothing to do with being the reincarnation of Falon’Din, which was pretty hard to keep out of anyones way once the ball started rolling. No, it’s the fact that she has such a hard time feeling like she is needed for anything, that she feels much of what has happened in the world is her fault. She also mainly keeps her feelings about her gender to herself and only lets people know what pronouns they should use for her, and it’s pretty much not spoken about as to what her orientation is, but everyone knows she isn’t straight.

5. How do they feel about magic

Magic and the Inquisitor have a complicated history honestly. Both herself and her brother came into magic at the same time, Elessar accidentally froze Keepers feet to the ground while Calliope set a halla’s ass on fire and almost caused a stampede. She was not raised as a mage because of the high volume in her clan and they did not wish to be called upon by the Chantry, so Elessar was the one trained as a mage instead. Calliope was trained to be a Master and a Hunter, which she excelled at rather well; she was awarded the position of Protector of her fathers aravel when he went on excursions for trade.

During Inquisition she comes into her magic with mixed feelings, she really doesn’t pay too much attention for a while. The spells she knows are really only fire based and healing based, as well as being the most basic. She has no problem with magic really, as many of her friends and family are mages. There are a few times when Bull says shit about magic that she gets very defensive and upset, but aside from that there isn’t much until trespasser. Her thoughts on blood magic are even alright with it really, as long as it’s consensual to both parties if someone else is involved.

6. How do they feel about killing

She feels that it is a necessary evil, nothing more nothing less. If someone deserves to be killed than they will be. Callie tries to spare the innocent as much as she can. After all she is Falon’Din, so her views on death aren’t an end, and even without being Falon’Din she sees death as something that isn’t an end even if she grieves pretty heavily when someone dies.

7. How do they feel at night, in silence, all alone?

Badly, it’s all negative feelings all at once. She tries to keep away from this situation as much as possible.

8. Tell me about them in a modern AU

I actually have two of these for Calliope! In DA:I in a present day setting she’s still Inquisitor, at least eventually, but she comes from a farm/general store owning family from an elven town in the Free Marches. She’s trying to go to school in the city when the Temple of Sacred Ashes (a political summit in this au) gets blown to pieces, she was there to observe as part of a class she’s in for college, along with several other members of that class.

In a regular modern day au she’d still be a college student, probably going for a double major in Religion and History. Her twin brother is going to college for Forensic Sciences, and there’s a lot of coffee shop shit, and falling for a good looking Grad Student who works at the school library.

9. What is their favorite meal

Dalish Forest Comfort with Hearth Cakes!! I own the Dragon Age cookbook and it’s real good. Callie would love her cultures food even if other people would consider it to be plain.

10. What guides them

Their compassion for all people of Thedas tbh.

11. What hinders them

Feeling like she’s not good enough or that she will fail at every turn.

12. Do they have hidden talents

She can tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tongue, also she’s shockingly good with the stable creatures? And I say creatures because have you seen the Dracolisks?

13. How do they carry themselves

Calliope carries herself as a kind and easy going person, which gets some people thinking they can just walk all over her, where she quickly puts them back in their place. If they do it more than once she gets really angry, and no one wants to see the five foot tall reaver and reincarnation of falon’din angry.

14. What are their vices

Probably getting more angry than needed, and also she cries a lot but that’s not really immoral behavior?? She also won’t give mercy if she isn’t shown mercy. Calliope also hates no one except herself almost exclusively.

15. What was a turning point in their life

Honestly? The end of Trespasser. Calliope gets really hard for a while and bitter, thankfully raising Athim and focusing on helping people affected by Solas’ shit does give her back some softness that she lost.

16. Do they ascribe to any religion

Nope, she doesn’t believe in Andraste, nor does she believe in the Creators.

17. How do they react to trauma

Depends on what kind it is, but usually she shuts down first, then gets angry, or really really weepy and sad.

18. What is their relationship to their parents

Calliope adored both of her parents, her mom Imryll died when she was really young but she paved the way for a lot of good things that Callie strives for nowadays. Her dad was the saving grace in a lot of situations so she loves him very much, she gets very depressed when he dies. Elgar’nan and Mythal are another thing altogether, she gets defensive about Mythal, and angry towards Flemeth for claiming to be her. Her “father”? Well she doesn’t talk about him a whole lot.

19. Do they have siblings

Yep! She has one! His name is Elessar and he is her fraternal twin.

20. Tell me about their love interests

Well the egg is her love interest in canon, but in the Pure World State AU, @charlatanreyes ‘s Isidoro Rosetti is her husband, he’s an Antivan Enchanter who’s very good and lovely. The other is the kickass Halla Trevelyan from @lorspolairepeluche !!

21. What sexuality/gender suits them

Calliope is nonbinary and prefers they/them or she/her pronouns, her orientation is panromantic demisexual.

22. Tell me about their body, are they tall, or smol

Callie is very smol and stronk. Abs for days. She also has albinism.

23. What is their combat style and weapon of choice

SLASH AND HACK THEM, the bloodier the better, and her weapon is a Sulevin Blade with a master dragon slaying rune.

24. Do they have any fears/phobias

Calliope is afraid of uthenera/the long sleep, and failure.

25. Do they follow their instinct or hard facts

Instinct all the way, Calliope is very emotional and not a logical being at all.

26. How do they cope with sorrow

Not very well at all. Grief comes in large waves and she’s very empathetic unfortunately, even more than is healthy honestly. If it’s to a really severe level she’ll isolate herself for a long time because she doesn’t want to bother anyone at all with her feelings. If she’s pressed about it too she’ll flare up with anger, especially if she doesn’t know you very well.

27. What makes them burst out laughing

BAD JOKES. LIKE REALLY BAD JOKES. Also there was one time that Dorian showed up to a meeting with his mustache all fucked up and Calliope was very tired, she started going into a giggle fit that no one could cure.

28. Tell me about their grooming routine

Well really all she does is bathe and wash her hair/skin, she doesn’t have much time for anything else. But sometimes she’ll have moments with Solas or her other LI’s and take long baths with nice smelling oils.

29. What makes them blush

I MEAN, anything really, especially if her LI is teasing her. Honestly anything in front of other people will get her to blush really bad. Solas once kissed her full on in front of the group one morning in the Frostbacks, just a lazy kiss that he didn’t think much of and she was red for the full morning.

30. What makes them cry

Injustice and death, which often go hand in hand. Sometimes she’ll wake up during nightmares crying, and certain memories will trigger crying fits if she’s not careful.

31. Tell me about their aesthetic

Blood, golden sharp teeth, green lightning, big ass swords, ravens, cryptic sayings, dragons, and sleep. Also bear hugs.

32. If they had a tumblr, what would they post

Probably lots of positive posts and social justice things, book quotes, flowers. Honestly anything on dragons too and lots of adorable animals, some shit on history and certain videogame stuff too.

#long post #sorry that i got short at the end i got really tired and also had a panic attack for some reason #calliope lavellan #booker answers #meme-feline

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ecotone99 · 4 years

Text

I'd die for you

I first met Urvashi during class 6th of our school. We were classmates. she was kind and bright, but above all she was willing to be friends with someone plain and boring as me. I loved her. But I was alright with never confessing my feelings to her, because i hated the fact that we may not be friends anymore. my parents lived far away from me so most of the times i would have dinner at Urvashi’s house . That day i went to Urvashi’s house to help her cook a feast for her moms birthday. But I was careless, i left the recipe book close to the stove and it caught fire. The fire soon spread through the whole house.

“My mom is still in there “, Urvashi kept shouting but the firefighters wouldn’t let her go past them. Soon the whole house fell to ashes.

“This is all my fault” i thought to myself.

All kinds of things were said at the funeral, that how Urvashi had only her mom after her father had left them , and now that she had also left her , she no longer had anyone left.

“ im really sorry” , i said in a sobbing voice.”its all my fault, if i had paid attention , nothing like that wouldve happened. I know ill never get your forgiveness with just an apology , but i-”

Before i could say anything more, Urvashi hugged me and said,” it’ll be fine , it wasnt your fault, as long as i have you everything will be fine”, she said with tears in her eyes. She didnt care that she had lost someone important because of me , she forgave me with an open heart . thats when i mad up my mind, i will protect Urvashi for as long as i live. She will never suffer like this again. Two years passed.

I could hear some of the girls gossiping in our class.

“He was the 2nd victim “, one of them said.

“Scary,its fishy how they went missing one after the another”. Said another

“I bet she did something to them”

“ who knows?”

“At any rate, its better if we stay away from Urvashi”

I couldnt bear this any longer. I walked up to Urvashi and asked her if she wanted to walk home together.

“Dont let them get to you “ , i said , trying to comfort her.”its not your fault Urvashi”

“But, two people i dated suddenly disappeared you know,” she said.” everything was normal just the other day, now they’re nowhere to be found. Why do those important to me suddenly disappear?” as she said this, Urvashi made the same distraught face she made when her mom died in that fire that day. Seeing her in such a state twisted my heart beyond belief.” i wasnt trying to blame you” she said seeing the look on my face,” youre an important friend . besides what happened two years ago was an accident.”but i could never forgive myself for it.

“Hey” she said while looking and smiling at me,” you know, everyone important to me keeps disappearing one by one. Im terrified, please you dont leave me too”. Heaing those words from her only strengthened my resolve.

“ ill be fine “, i said. We saw each other off and went our own separate ways.

Shes so cute and precious, ‘please dont leave me too’ , i just love her soo much. Ive made up my mind to protect Urvashi. Theres no way id disappear. Thats why everytime Urvashi gets a boyfriend, i test them. I would flirt with them , invite them over and every time they easily come with me. Boys are such pigs. Cheaters like that arent worthy of Urvashi. I wanted to make sure that these filthy men would never make Urvashi cry in the future, so i nipped the problem in the bud. The public thinks theyve gone missing , and Urvashi also hasnt noticed either. I do feel sorry for her since because of all this , there are rumors going about her in the class. But its good this way cause the worthless nobodies stay away from her. As i entered the class i saw that somebody had written ‘ Urvashi is a dirty slut who eats men’.i quickly picked up the duster and rubbed it off. I turned around to see that some girls had surrounded Urvashi and were talking to her. I walked closer to the group to listen what they were talking about. I saw that it was Hargun and her friends talking to Urvashi. I say that they had put dirty wet rags on Urvashis seat.

“Urvashi , could you do something about your seat, i dont want to sit near someone whos seat is so dirty”, she said with hate in her eyes and a sly smile on her face.Urvashi glared back at them.

One of the girls got scared and said” what, you think we did this? You are the one who makes your boyfriends disappear and then attend school as if nothing happened.”

“Stop it you all”, i said in a calm voice, looking towards those girls.” what youre doing is completely disgusting.

“You stay away from this “, Hargun said while facing me “ just because you are her best friend doesnt mean you will support everything she does”

“ i didnt say that because im her friend, i said this because i think you all are scum”

The look in my face caused Hargun to shudder a bit. She left with her friends sson after. Urvashi thanked me for saving her, but the only thing that was going through my mind was that Hargun needed to go for Urvashi to be happy. The next day was a weekend , and Hargun attended extra classes on those days till late evening. I put on my hoodie and grabbed my suitcase, duffle bag and a hammer. I waited for her to be alone and then i started following her. I guess she noticed me because after a few minutes she started running. But i always knew that she was a dumb girl. She ended up running into a dead end with no lights. She turned around to see me , but before she could say anything , i smashed her face in with the hammer. She died instantly . i used the bleach to remove any blood from the path and then stuffed her body into the suitcase. Im getting pretty used to killing poeple. But i hadnt done anything wrong, this was all to protect Urvashi. *click* what was that? I turned around to check where that sound came from but there was no one there. Maybe it was my imagination . maybe im getting too paranoid. What is the point of being scared, i dont care being called a murderer if i can keep a smile on Urvashis face. As i thought this , i saw a wretched rotten away face staring from a corner at me. “ are you sure about that ?” , it said “ you erase those who you deem unworthy of of Urvashi, but that isnt the truth. You just want her all yo yourself , dont you?” i got scared and jumped back in impulse.i looked back at the corner but the face was no longer there.” everything i do is for Urvashi and no one else” i said to myself as i walked back to my home.

The next day after classes ended , our teacher told us that Hargun hadnt reached home yesterday and asked us to be extra careful. While walking home i could see that Urvashi was tense . i asked her what was wrong. “ im really cursed arent i ?, anyone i have any kind of connection with disappears.” as she said this, she started weeping.

“ its not your fault Urvashi” , i said while thinking that it was true that it wasnt her fault, because it was mine.i killed them all.

“ theres no need for you to cry” i said “ because, its their fault they didnt come back, each of them might have a reason why they disappeared. So please dont vry for them” as i said this Urvashi stopped crying and without saying anything went back home.

Later that night i decided that it was finally time for me to dismember Urvashi and dispose off her because even after keeping the body in ice , it had started to rot. I put her body in the bathtub and started cutting her in small pieces. As i was doing this someone rang the bell. I thought they would leave after sometime but they kept ringing the bell continuously.i quickly washed my hands and opened the fron door. I was shocked to see the police standing there.

“ are you deeksha?” they asked.

“ yes , but why? “ i said trying to act cool.

“ we received a report so we came to confirm it” as he said this he produced three pictures in front of me. In two if them i could be seen disposing of bodies and in one of them i could be seen stuffing Harguns body in the suitcase. Seeing this i felt as if i lost my voice. I couldnt say anything.

“You are suspected of unlawful disposal of corpse” said the policeman. “ we will now be searching your house” as he said this, two policemen entered my house. “ we found the body sir” on of them shouted from the bathroom”

“ you are under arrest “ said the policeman in front of me.as the policeman apprehended me , i shouted” who was the bastard that clicke those photos? Ill kill them !!”

“I clicked those “

I turned around to see who said that . i was frozen stiff to see Urvashi standing there. “ thats right, i clicked those “

“ Urvashi, what are you doing here?”

“ the fire that broke out two years ago, no one could blame you no matter how much you were at fault, and also i knew you were in love with me. So i thought that id make you suffer through raging jealousy as revenge for the fire. Thats why i started dating those boys. And as i predicted, you killed them both , and as an added bonus you killed Hargun too” she said while giggling.” you mustve thought of some bullshit , like everything i do is for Urvashi, right? You killed them on your own , can you stop saying that it was for my sake? Those word sound quite funny from the mouth of my mothers murderer.” as she said that i felt destroyed. I just wanted to die. “Wait, then why did you forgive me?” i asked shivering.

“ i can tell many lies, i’ll never forgive you . even if you spend the rest of your life atoning for those sins.”

“ hold on , then why, why did you tell me you forgave me back then, if you didnt forgive me, i was ready to kill myself.if you hated my existence that much , i couldve killedmyself for your sake.”

“ it wouldve been over fr you if you died back then. i had to drag you to the deepest depths of despair or else there would have been no point. You killed three poeple , thats a much heavier sin than setting that fire. Thank you for going to hell on your own” as she said that she gave a carefree smile to me, as if she had finally attained the things for which she lived for.

“ i finally got my revenge”

-end-

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