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remmysbounty · 3 years

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Hellooo! Can i request a torres x reader where reader is very important for bucky, they’ve been living together like a family in brooklyn so when reader starts dating torres bucky starts acting like a dad and gets very protective??❤️

Thank you 😊❤️❤️❤️

O M G can we all agree that Bucky being like a protective dad is the most perfect trope everr also I know I am messing up the timeline here but screw it

Ahhhhhh I’m gonna write this one and then I’m gonna write the other one that’s sitting in my inbox and ahh I just want to write all the requests sitting in my inbox and I’m sorry for taking so long I really really really am 🥺

💛 thank you to all of you though for still supporting me and sending me requests

It first started when you graduated college, your living situation turning from perfection to nothing. Bucky could see the despair and worry in your eyes, you didn’t even have a job to pay for a place for yourself but you still needed a stable place. And yet to him there was already a simple solution to your worries, “How would you feel about living with me?”

Part of you was shocked and yet another part relieved, “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You could never bother me kid,” Bucky pulled you into his arms, much like a parent comforting their child would, “Alright?”

You smiled for what seemed like the first time that day, “Alright.”

Moving in with Bucky seemed to make your somewhat familial relationship even stronger, you’d help Bucky with his nightmares and therapy while he watched out for you and tried to provide advice when you wanted some.

At first, you knew the neighbors looked at the two of you oddly, one woman going as far as making a comment about your relationship which only made you laugh so loudly that you got even more stares. But after a while they started to see the relationship as just the way the two of you explained it, family.

You built a little place for yourself in that apartment in Brooklyn, having family meals every morning and night, movie binges and book binges while sharing the couch. You’d go on dates only to return in need of a comforting embrace from Bucky and occasionally you’d try to get him to go out as well. And yet it was a life you enjoyed.

Then Sam stepped in and it was no longer just Bucky and you living in that Brooklyn apartment but now Sam, Bucky and you traveling the world, stopping criminals, and enjoying the places you stopped at a long the way. But not once did you ever see the possibility of maybe moving out one day- until you met Joaquin.

Bucky knew you were a goner for him the second he saw your eyes. You were entranced by the young man, your eyes watching his every move almost begging him to step closer to you. And all Bucky felt was worry, worried and scared at watching you possibly get your heart broken by the soldier in front of you so he did the one thing he could think of, he blocked your view.

“Hey,” you pouted softly at his rather obvious response, only to look into Bucky’s eyes and see everything he was imagining and pause. He had become an open book just for you.

“I’ll be fine,” you whispered no longer trying to get a peek at the soldier whose name you still didn’t know. You could feel his eyes on you however, although you were pretty sure it was out of confusion as to what was going on with you and Bucky and not admiration.

Bucky nodded, “I know, I just-“ he struggled to find the words, so you reached over and grabbed his non-metal hand squeezing it softly. Your way of reminding him that you know, even if he didn’t say the words you always knew.

“Good, so let’s get this one over with and then maybe pop by Sam’s so I can watch you fail pathetically at flirting with Sarah.”

“Are you two down with your whole family talk?” Sam stared at the two of you in his usually taunting way.

You winked at Bucky, “Oh ya, we were just talking about our plans to stop by your place after this, might finally convince Buck to ask Sarah out.”

What made you smile though was seeing the soldier whose name you still didn’t know laugh at how you made Bucky and Sam react.

Then Bucky made you want to punch him, “So Sam, you gonna introduce us to your friend or what?” smiling directly at you as he asked.

Sam, being Sam, caught on to what Bucky referred to and sent a smirk your way, “Right, this Joaquin Torres, we just call him Torres though. And just letting you know Buck he is trying really hard not to fanboy on you right now.”

“Oh please, as if you didn’t fanboy the day you met Steve and then Natasha,” you turned to Joaquin, happy you finally knew his name, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Joaquin smiled in return.

You wanted to freeze that moment in time and remember it forever, only to hear Bucky’s soft growl breaking your daydream.

The mission came and went as quickly as you were expecting it to, and next thing you knew you were preparing to leave the base, not expecting Joaquin to walk up to you, clearly looking nervous.

“Hey,” you spoke softly, hoping it would help calm his nerves.

He smiled back at you in return, “I was wondering if maybe you’d- I mean you don’t have to say yes- but if you’d want to grab a coffee sometime, whenever I’m in the city or maybe after one of these missions, whatever you’re up for.”

“I’d love to.”

Joaquin’s smile grew and once again you wished you could inscribe that smile into the depths of your mind and just pull it out whenever you wished to see it again. Then his smiled dimmed slightly and you rolled your eyes because you knew exactly who had come up behind you.

Not even bothering to turn around you spoke, “James stop it, I swear to god if I hear another growl coming from you-“

Bucky sighed softly.

You smiled against Joaquin, “please don’t leave, let me just talk with this idiot okay.” He nodded his head, stunned by how you just treated the super soldier standing behind you.

Pulling Bucky away you constantly looked to see if Joaquin continued to stay there, happy to see that he did.

The two of you stood there, staring at one another. You broke first, “Bucky,” you whispered softly, “you know this isn’t going to change anything right? We are a family.”

He couldn’t look at you as you spoke, ashamed at how his protectiveness had come out, and yet he felt your piercing stare, waiting.

“We are family,” he whispered in return and then brought you in to the tightest embrace you’d eve received, happily giving it in return.

You tapped on Bucky’s back, signaling to him that you needed air, and yet continued to hold on to him as the two of you separated, “Now I’m gonna go talk to Joaquin, okay?”

Bucky nodded and sent a smile your way, “You know if he hurts you I’m going after him.”

You smiled and laughed, “I know. Just maybe don’t mention that until we actually go on a date.”

You walked up, happy to find Joaquin still waiting, “So about that coffee? You free now?”

“Ya I’m free,” Joaquin smiled as he answered.

“Perfect, lead the way flyboy.”

——

Joaquin Torres: @pascalpanic @cleversturmhond @booksmusicteaandanimals @cooluncleboba @autumnleaves1991-reads @marvelouss-marvel @mischiefmanaged71 @the-and-sign-anon @barzal-burakovsky @young-romanoff

#remmys bounty #remmys writings #remmys requests #joaquin torres request #joaquin torres x you #joaquin torres imagine #joaquin torres x gn!reader #joaquin torres x reader #joaquin torres

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serenityseventeen · 3 years

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Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Ninth Letter

----------------

To: Kim Mingyu

From: Y/N

Dear Mingyu, are you doing well?

Well, we don't see each other often anymore so I'm always wondering that. We used to always bump into each other at the grocery store or the mall. Now, I don't even see you anywhere.

I don't blame you for it. Now that we've broken up, I can feel your love. The love that you gave me when we were together still lingers. I haven't forgotten about you yet. Do you know why? It's because I'm convinced. I still love you.

These days, even after breaking up with you, I still think back on our sweet moments. I stayed up late a few days ago, just thinking back on our relationship and how far in love we were.

Before I go to sleep, I always feel the empty space beside my bed for you. You came by to my dormitory whenever you had the chance and would sleep in my bed because you said you missed me. Thank God my dormitory allowed visitors because if it didn't, we would have seen each other even less.

Even if I was just working on school assignments on my laptop, you would crawl beside me and sleep. Sometimes, no, every time, I couldn't stop myself from messing up your soft hair. You didn't want to bother me and just wanted to be by me so you slept, right?

Well, you sleeping was just as big of a distraction.

I promised to tell you on your birthday when and why I fell for you. Today is your birthday. April 6th.

I'll tell you, in this letter.

It wasn't on the first day that I began working at the cafe with you that I fell for you. I started working at the cafe in the middle of summer break for more money and you were my senior. You know how hard it was for me. I needed money for living expenses and my father was hospitalized for cancer.

I'll get back to the subject. I started falling in love with you because...well, you were you. Your personality, just the way you were made me gradually fall for you. You made my heart flutter and race with your gentle and caring actions. You were also funny and kind and clumsily cute.

Before I met you, I was battling a small heartbreak. I lost one of my friends because I liked them romantically. I was going to push myself away from love because you know, loving me is like a curse. I didn't want to fall in love again but then you... I met you.

At first, I was growing a bit suspicious of you? I was starting to think that you liked me when you always hovered over me and lingered behind me. You also held my hand frequently to ‘help’ me.

I didn't think much of it until I saw your eyes and smile. I always thought that I fell in love way too easily but I don't know how I was able to resist you. That's when your indirect back hugs began to make my heart pound.

Summer break was almost over and I became sure of my feelings the more that I hung out with you. We would also coincidentally meet each other at the grocery store, food markets, and malls, and we were able to hang out together that way too. Shopping with you was fun and memorable.

Since summer break was coming to an end, I didn't want to go back to college with a lump in my chest. I just felt like I should tell you about my feelings while not expecting us to date.

So, that's how I asked you out.

I made sure that it was only us in the kitchen of the cafe. I was pretty confident that you liked me back but I still wanted to ask.

We were washing dishes when I said, “Mingyu, I like you. What do you think of me?”

“You? Of course, I like you too.”

I won't lie, the answer got me a bit disappointed at first, but then you kissed me softly on the lips afterward and made me realize otherwise.

I liked the romance we had. There was no one to tell us apart. At work, when we were alone, you would become all lovey-dovey with me, sneaking kisses and grabbing my hand. I liked it. It gave me this feeling of... Youthful romance?

With you, I was able to overcome everything hard. College was kicking me constantly but I was always excited to come to work. I was always excited for the weekend because we could just lay in each other's arms. We would go on classic dates, holding hands, walking. Mingyu, it was because of you that I was able to smile.

You even visited my father with me, bringing delicious foods that you made yourself. Do you know how grateful I am for that? I always thanked you but I am truly thankful. My dad liked you a lot and wanted to see you often. Seeing you two get along made me happy.

I was really happy but of course, the curse had to strike and everything we built had to come tumbling down.

We didn't last long enough to even celebrate your birthday, which is regretful. I actually already had a gift for you, a nice watch because you recently broke yours, but I guess I can't give it to you. Maybe I'll slip the watch in the envelope with this letter.

I know for you, it'd be hard to believe what I'm about to say but please, believe me. I was cowardly and because I didn't want to hurt you more in the future, I made that decision.

Mingyu, I know I still love you.

Maybe there was a chance that we would break through and not drift apart but to me, that's nothing but assumptions and I don't want to get ahead of myself.

College is tough and I'm sure you understand that. After I got fired from the cafe, I knew that I wouldn't be able to see you that much anymore. Plus, you also know that I started taking more part-time jobs to pay for my father's hospital bills and my own living. We both needed money just as much as we needed each other.

Maybe if I made the decision of ignoring that guy, I wouldn't have gotten fired; but I couldn't stand it. I saw you too, clenching your fist as you watched, I just got to the guy before you did. I mean, how could he so publicly harass one of the waitresses? I was so angry and got out of control, so I threw a milk bottle at him. I don't know if I should regret that choice.

I don't want you to think that you were nothing but filler, something to fill in my romance cravings amidst my hectic schedules. I truly loved you and I know that because I feel it. I can feel this strong desire to stay with you, see you smile, spend time with you...

And if you read this letter, you might ask, “Then why did you break up with me if you felt like that?”

Well, I didn't want to become a burden.

The day was already gloomy and the weather said it was going to rain. I asked to meet up and when you rushed over, I could tell that you already knew what was coming.

I don't have enough time for love. My weekends became bombarded with part-time jobs so I was rarely at the dormitory. My schedules became hectic and school just made it harder for us to see each other.

It was beginning to rain when I started talking.

“Mingyu, I think we should stop seeing each other; we don't even see each other often.”

“But it's fine, isn't it? Why would we...”

“You know how it is for me.”

“It'll be fine, Y/N. I'll be here for you no matter what.”

I shook my head.

“Let's just break up.”

I don't know what was going on in your head but I'm sure you were angry. I couldn't read your eyes and I couldn't tell what you were thinking because I was consistently repeating to myself in my head while holding back my tears, ‘I'm sorry’.

“Why? We can overcome this! I'm sure I can help your father get better. We can live together, we can help each other.”

“I'm sorry, Mingyu.”

I remember you took my hand when as I was turning to leave. I almost cried.

“Why?” You asked. “I know we can...”

“Mingyu... don't get ahead of yourself. I don't want to ruin our relationship because of my problems.”

It was painful for me to let you go. I just gave you my umbrella and boarded the bus. You were too late and started chasing it but didn't catch up. I began crying so much that I had to cover my face and mouth. I'm sure people were looking at me. With rain pattering the windows, my tears flowed.

I hope that somewhere, you have left a trace of me.

I have a feeling that somehow, I could have chosen a better solution for this problem. Now that I'm spending a few days back here at my house, I miss you more than usual. I dream every day that maybe, we'll meet again coincidentally and you had been waiting for me, but who am I to think that when I was the one who ended it?

You've stopped posting on your social media.

Yesterday night, I looked back on our pictures in my photo gallery and my heart ached so much. Just seeing your smile was enough to cheer me up but break me down at the same time.

I wanted to reach out to you today and wish you a happy birthday. I kept typing and erasing, typing and erasing, and in the end, I didn't send any sort of text. Your birthday is almost over and I haven't said anything nor have I given you my gift. I'm sorry. If I do send the gift, maybe we'll see each other again, but at the same time, I'm afraid to see you again.

Your puppy-like personality, your sweet words, your soft gestures, your smile that can light up my world, your everything that I loved, I miss it all. Will time do its work?

Maybe one day I will move on and forget you.

I don't think we have another chance.

You probably feel betrayed that I don't think our love was powerful enough to overcome my problems. Was I selfish? I think so. Now that I think about it, I didn't want to drag you into my problems but I didn't give you much chance to speak. I didn't want to hurt you but even then, I only thought about myself. I guess I didn't want the guilt of having you bear my problems with me. I was selfish and didn't consider anything else.

I couldn't think of any other solution.

If we did continue dating, would it have been better or worse for us? Would we have broken up with bigger scars or would we have continued our love with stronger hearts?

Yes, I was stupid. I'm a fool and I'm sorry. I won't be mad if you resent me because I'm just a cowardly fool. This letter makes me realize that now, belatedly.

All this time, I thought I was doing something right by not taking you into hell with me.

In the end, I still don't know if I chose the best choice for us.

Yours truly,

Y/N

-----------------

7/2/21 - 3:17 pm

a/n: I have finally learned the chorus choreography to RTL. It's not as hard as Home or Getting Closer but it's also tiring lol. I need to work more on my posture and angles to make it look good. What should I learn next...?

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professorsnape394 · 3 years

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The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Eleven: A Pining Professor

A/N: This is the eleventh part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 1913

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

"Very well done, Miss Granger." Aria commended as the young Hermione Granger brandished her perfectly completed potion to the class. "Now, who's next?" The professor questioned looking around the room for another student to choose. Her eyes quickly landed on an awkward looking fourth year Gryffindor boy. "How about you, Mr. Longbottom. Care to show us your final potion?"

The boy looked around nervously, attempting to straighten out his disheveled robes, hoping someone would save him from this inevitable embarrassment.

"Erm... I... I don't think I've done it right, Professor Dumbledore." Neville shot a quick, terrified glance in the direction of Severus Snape, who was, as usual hunched over his desk, paying little attention to the classroom full of students.

"Don't look so worried, Neville." Aria replied softly, beckoning the boy to test out his shrinking solution. "Professor Snape and I are not here to judge your abilities, but to guide you in the right direction, allowing you to flourish to your highest potential."

Professor Snape let out a low grunt, looking up from his desk for a brief second, unimpressed by the encouraging words of his apprentice.

Neville Longbottom took a step up to the front of the classroom, a small vial of his potion shaking slightly in his hand. Aria snatched a spare quill from the Potion Masters desk and laid it down in front of Neville waiting to see the results of his concoction. The acid green liquid dripped down onto the feathers, small droplets of the potion pooling together, quickly drowning the quill. The students stood around in silence, waiting for the quill to shrink down into practically nothing. However, instead of shrinking, the potion began to bubble and fizz. Within seconds the bubbles turned into a rabid foaming substance. After a few moments of watching the foam expand, it disappeared completely, the feathers of the quill melting away with it.

Almost as if the whole class had been holding their breath, a large number of students exhaled simultaneously. Neville's face dropped, disheartened by his efforts. "Not to worry, Longbottom, we'll walk you through it one more time, and show you what went wrong."

"I don't think so, Miss Dumbledore." Professor Snape piped up, appearing at the side of the young woman. "Mr. Longbottom, I want you to write an essay at least 1500 words detailing exactly what went wrong, and how you will re-mediate your efforts in the future. I want this on my desk by tomorrow morning." His sudden appearance dulled the mood Aria had worked to built within the class, instantaneously.

"Yes Sir." The boy retorted, cowering away back to the crowd of students.

Aria stared at the Professor, stunned at his interference. The pair had come to an agreement where Severus took on the theoretical aspect of the job, teaching the students his methods, while Aria took on the practical aspect, helping the students as they brewed. Severus often stayed quiet during her teaching time, taking nothing to do with the students after he taught them the correct brewing process. He trusted her to lead them in the right direction, after all. However, today Snape was persistent in making himself known, he felt the need to remind them all of his intimidating, dominant presence, determined to scare the students, into obedience.

"Class dismissed." Snape ordered, the children fleeing from the room before the words had even completely left his mouth.

Just as fast as the room had cleared, Severus made a move to gather the papers from his desk, appearing to be getting ready to leave the classroom, something he never usually done until it was time for the great feast.

"Where are you going?" Aria questioned, closing the gap between herself and the Potions Master, stopping him from wandering off without an explanation.

"To my office to mark the remainder of these essays... in peace." He stated, his tone full of venom. Again, Aria was taken aback by the way the man spoke to her. He had gradually been warming up to her these past few weeks and it had been a long time since he spoke to her with such anger. Considering how the previous evening had panned out, it bothered Aria that he had become so frosty again so quickly, they had made so much progress since their first meeting. And for what? For Severus to just immediately go back to his old ways. Aria wasn't about to let that happen anytime soon.

"What's your problem, Severus?" Aria snapped, getting in between the door and her mentor. "You've been acting like a dick all day. We finally had a nice evening together, both of us doing our own thing, it was nice! But then you ran out suddenly and without reason. And now you're acting even worse than you did before. Did I do something to piss you off? Please tell me!" She ranted, desperate for an answer.

"I'm not quite sure what you think went on last night, but whatever it is, I advise you get it out of your head immediately." He snapped, gradually nearing the exit.

"What are you talking about?" Aria questioned, sincerely confused. "Nothing did happen last night Severus and I'm not acting like it did. What's going on with you, is there something wrong?"

"Don't patronise me, Miss Dumbeldore, I don't need your pity." He seethed, clutching his stack of papers tightly to his chest. "I want to make it abundantly clear to you that we are to maintain a strictly professional relationship from here on out. We are not friends. And we never will be."

Seeing the enraged look grow on his face, Aria gave in, not willing to argue with her mentor any longer. Stepping away from the door, she allowed Severus to take his leave. The whole conversation had thoroughly confused her, she had thought last night had been nice for the both of them but clearly she was wrong and it just wasn't worth aggravating Severus even more.

From the moment Severus left Aria's room to the minute she walked through his classroom door the next morning Severus had not stopped thinking about the woman he tried so hard to despise. He had not slept, therefore he was even more unpleasant than usual. He was irritable with his coworkers, terrifying to his students, and just flat out mean to Aria. Although his body could not deny that he was attracted to her, a night of constant angry thoughts aimed at himself, quickly formed into a hatred for the woman in a desperate attempt to hide the embarrassment he was feeling not so deep down.

Determined to distance himself from his apprentice, he 'gave her the night off', if you could phrase it that way. Severus shut himself in his office, banning her from joining him while he marked as she so often did. Distracting himself from thoughts of her seemed to be working for him, and in no less than a few hours he was feeling back to his usual self. No thoughts of Aria entering his mind, whether it be thoughts of anger, lust or... Well, lets just say Aria was successfully no longer on his mind.

That was, of course, until a familiar rumble was heard from his stomach and he knew he could not avoid the great feast, though he so wanted to.

Seeing the young woman walk into the Great Hall amongst a crowd of students sent an instant pang into Severus' gut. It was then he knew that no matter how hard he tried to get this woman off his mind and no matter how 'temporarily' successful he was at doing so, there was no way he was ever going to escape how he felt. He could pick her out amongst a crowded room, and the beating of his heart became instantly deafening. This was not an attraction he saw himself being able to easily escape from.

Taking her regular seat at the table in between Severus and Minerva, the two woman got to chatting immediately. Aria kept herself turned away from the potions master, knowing he would not be in the mood to have any type of interaction with her. Snape found himself hurt that Aria kept her back to him, he hated the fact she wasn't trying harder to break him from the mood he had got himself into. Though if she had tried he would not be willing to be broken out of it quite yet.

As the whole hall began to fill with chatter and laughter Severus found himself the only miserable man in the place. He sat through the meal in silence, not talking to anyone, and no one speaking to him. It was on this rare occasion he found himself lonely in the situation he had created to protect himself from emotions exactly like this.

As the feast came to an end Professor Snape was ready to flee from the room, uninterested in anything else it had to offer him.

That was, until, a plump little owl found its way over to Aria Dumbledore and a gasp of glee escaped the two women beside him. His interest piqued, Severus settled back into his chair, focusing in on the conversation of his colleagues.

"Who's it from?" Minerva queried, her eyes having already scanned the contents of the letter.

"Oh it's just some guy I met at the Three Broomsticks. Pretty much saved me from being touched up by an old creep." The witch replied, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

"And he's asked you on a date?" Mcgonagall questioned further.

"No not at all." Aria scoffed. "Its just a few drinks see." She said passing over the parchment to the older woman.

"Sounds like a date to me." Professor McGonagall grinned.

"Its not a date!" Aria screeched in return, though Severus noted a hint of excitement in her voice.

The Potions Master felt his face burn with jealousy, a fiery hot ball growing inside him just waiting to burst out his chest. He hated the thought of seeing Aria out with another man, though he knew he could not be with her either. He was jealous for sure, but there was no way he would ever be willing to commit to her. Not that she could ever feel the same about him, if he did. He did not want her himself, but he also did not want anyone else to have her.

It was then the memory of another letter crossed his mind. Someone else already did have her. According to the letter he came across in her quarters she was in a relationship. And now, as much as she wanted to deny it, this new letter stated she would be going on a date with someone else.

Despite how sweet and innocent this young witch may seem, Severus Snape was beginning to build a picture of who she really was. It was clear to him now that from the moment she arrived at Hogwarts she had been playing him, just like he assumed she was playing these other men. 'She flirts and charms her way into getting everything she wants. Snape thought to himself. After all, she young and extremely attractive. What exactly is stopping her from taking advantage of everyone who falls for her. Well not me.' The thought continued. 'I'm wont be taken advantage of anymore.'

And with that Severus stormed from the room, his opinion of his apprentice having changed completely.

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil

#severus snape #severus snape fanfiction #severus snape one shot #severus snape imagine #severus snape x reader #Severus Snape smut #severus snape fluff #severus x reader #severus x oc #severus x y/n #alan rickman #Harry Potter #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter fanfiction #dumbledore #dumbledores granddaughter #potions master #potions masters apprentice

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queenof-literature · 3 years

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A Sick Wild Child - Chapter 9

Here it is! Thank you all so much for being so supportive during and after my break from writing. As many of you know, I’m struggling a lot with everything going on and it means the world to me that y’all are so sweet and supportive. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!

Chapter 9 - The Eye in the Storm

Time didn’t just dread injuries because he grew worried. Of course he worried when one of the boys was injured, it was always terrible to see one of his companions in pain. But he also dreaded it because there was one emotion he truly feared for both himself and the others… boredom.

Staying in one place for an extended period of time got all the Links restless in different ways. The only bright side of this situation was he didn’t have to worry about Wild fist fighting a bear for fun. He did however, have to worry about the others. He had to worry about Four and Legend disappearing and returning covered in flora and fauna they wanted to observe. He had to worry about Hyrule and Warriors getting a hold of fire weapons. He had to worry about Sky and Twilight going cliff diving if they were around an ocean. The same went for Wind if he got his hands on a raft, they might not see him for hours. He also had to worry about himself, the part of him that never disappeared after years of Termina and stasis and countless travels through time, itching to run away and become a child of the forest again, even if just for a day. Time worked hard to push those thoughts down.

Sky had managed to throw together something that night after their small fight over what they should have. They had managed without Wild’s skills and slate before, they could do it again. However, it was obvious the antsy group missed their cook. Said boy was still curled in Warriors’ bed roll, cold clothes placed upon both his forehead and neck after his last bout of delirium. Delirium that Time truly wished he could forget.

Based on what the terrified boy had murmured, Twilight and Time, two of the eight people he should be able to trust most, practically tortured him. Time going as far to burn him with a torch. And Din above was that a knife to the heart. Time knows, he knows that fever dreams didn’t make sense, but weren’t all dreams from the subconscious? Did Wild think that would happen? Was he scared deep down that his allies would become his enemies? Time wanted to say no, but he was never one to lie to himself. After all Wild had gone through, parts of him would never be unscathed. The same went for every Link, after all they had been through. Time was more worried about what the boy’s Hyrule had done to him. Forced into battle before he was even a teenager, betrayed and murdered by the Guardians he was supposed to trust, constantly on the lookout for traitors sworn to Ganon, it was no wonder the boy was paranoid. And these fears were constantly in his nightmares. The fever dreams must have been Hell.

Twilight wasn’t taking it well either. He seemed to have calmed down a bit after his conversation with Warriors, but Time could tell this was all getting to him. The lengths Twilight would go to help his friends was admirable, if not terrifying sometimes. But no amount of healing, potions, and worrying would fix this, and that was starting to sink in for everyone. No matter how much Twilight did, all he could was try and make it better. Twilight didn’t cope well with not being able to help, none of them did, especially with Wild.

Speaking of, Wild had been dead silent since he had passed out in Legend’s arms. Besides the small rasps coming from his mouth and the weak stutters of his chest, the boy was completely still. After some debate they decided to put Twilight’s pelt over him again. It had always been comforting to him, and who knows if he would even remember his panic over what Dream Twilight did to him. Hylia, Time hoped not. Time hoped Wild’s silence meant he was having a good enough dream, or maybe not dreaming at all.

The chatter around the campfire was scarce that night, no one having the energy to talk outside the small conversations they had with those near them. Legend seemed perfectly fine with shoving a groggy Hyrule back to bed as soon as he finished dinner. Hyrule certainly didn’t put up much of a fight, clearly tired from healing Wild throughout the day. It wasn’t the worst they had seen him after healing, but there was no reason for him to not sleep it off. As much as Time didn’t want to admit it, they may need Hyrule’s abilities later. Nothing else seemed to be helping. Time didn’t want to make Hyrule feel like they were exploiting him, but Wild needed water and the only time he was able to keep it down was when Hyrule healed him. Time wasn’t willing to believe that was a coincidence, they needed to get Wild to hold down any water they could. But Time truly wanted anything else than to wake up their exhausted sorcerer. It was quite a conundrum.

“I could hear you thinking from across camp.” Sky stated softly, settling beside Time.

“I don’t want to wake Hyrule, but Wild needs water.” Time said bluntly, not having the desire to beat around the bush.

“Hmm. Well.” Sky pondered for a moment. “Wild can go the night right? When I was little, I was really stubborn when I was sick. Sun tried to get me to eat, drink, or do anything really and I just wouldn’t.” Sky put his hand on Time’s shoulder. “ I know it’s not the same thing, but let’s give Wild the night, and as long as his condition doesn’t change, we’ll let Hyrule rest for a while. Now that we’re staying here for the time being, we can let Hyrule rest and help Wild a bit until he can keep things down. I know it’s not the best solution, but we all know you’re not trying to force Hyrule into exhausting himself.” Sky radiated comfort, and Time felt bad for subtly soaking it up. It wasn’t fair, he shouldn’t force decisions on the other Links. But Hylia, he was just so tired.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Time’s lips turned up slightly, and Sky knew that was a thank you. A thank you for taking some weight off of Time’s shoulders, even if it was a laughably small amount. But it was the least Sky could do.

Wild was pretty sure he was stone. There was no other reason for his limbs to be so heavy. The only thing he could really feel was pain. He couldn’t be sure where it was the worst, he was floating. He just knew he was cold. So, so cold. Wild didn’t like being cold, not when after he learned there were ways to be truly warm. Another feeling reached him, weight on top of him that he appreciated, and the fluttering of eyelashes he struggled to recognize as his own.

“...think- waking up.” Voices drifted in and out of his mind.

“-nother… -mare?” These voices sounded weird.

“-ild?” These were outside of his body.

Opening his eyes took more strength than anything he had ever done, but he needed to see where the voices were coming from. Slowly his eyes pried open.

Everything was blurry, but he could see shadows moving around him. If they were enemies, he couldn’t bring himself to care. It wasn’t like he could move anyway.

“Wild?” A voice filtered into his head, more clear than before. Colors swirled as he pried open his eyes, and Wild struggled to push down the nausea that rose, determined to find out where the voices were coming from.

“Wild? Can you hear us?” The fog cleared slightly, the first thing he saw being a colorful tunic. He knew that voice… right?

The swirling subsided a little more, now resting on the edges of his vision. The shadows that previously surrounded him were replaced by figures he recognized. He tried so hard to remember their names, and why he suddenly felt like crying. He didn’t know anything in that moment other than the figures surrounding him being warm, and Wild was still so cold.

“C-c-ld” Wild croaked out pathetically, frustration creeping up to replace confusion. Something cold and wet was surrounding him, soaking his skin. He tried to move his head in a weak attempt to get rid of the cold, but all he got was vertigo.

“Sor-... -an’t. Fever i-” Ringing filled Wild’s ears.

“I think he’s waking up.” Four rushed out, bringing the idle chatter around the fire to an abrupt halt. Lo and behold, the boy’s eyes fluttered, eyes flickering beneath.

“Do you think it’s another nightmare?” Wind called out hesitantly.

“I can’t tell. Wild?” Four called softly, placing his hands on his shoulder. Blurry eyes opened, revealing a sickly haze. But they weren’t frantic, just exhausted.

“I don’t think he is. He isn’t panicked. Wild?” Four asked again as the others gathered closer around him. Legend, Sky and Warriors gathered behind Four, while Time and Twilight stayed back, clearly uncomfortable with potentially sending him into another panic. Wind stayed back with them and held onto Twilight’s hand, squeezing when he noticed how much not being able to help hurt Twilight. The older squeezed back in thanks.

“Wild?” Sky asked. “Can you hear us?” The sick boy’s half lucid eyes flickered in their direction, and they could have thrown a goddess damned party over such a simple action. Legend almost went over and woke Hyrule to celebrate. Wild hadn’t been this coherent since he got smacked into that tree, not without being in a hallucination. His eyes were fogged and consciousness was barely there, but it was still the most awake he had been since this whole thing started.

“C-c-ld.” Wild croaked out, shaking his head slowly. Four reached out and gently stopped the movement, worried for the headache Wild was probably sporting.

“I’m so sorry, Wild but we can’t. Your fever is too high, we’ve done everything we can.” Sky tried to reassure, but he doubted Wild understood any of it. He looked to Four to confirm Wild’s fever still hadn’t broken. Four solemnly shook his head. Wild’s eyes continued to look around, seeming to search for something, but the others didn’t know for what.

“W-lf.” Wild choked out, his weak right hand reached out, only making it an inch before tumbling back down against his chest, clutching weakly at the furs laid on top of him.

“Wolf? Are you trying to say wolf?” Legend asked, glancing back at Twilight.

“W-” Wild was cut off by a rough cough. Four was ready to roll him over for choking that never came. Time could see the relief the other Links had that Wild seemed to be better, if not slightly. He wanted to remind them that this was just an eye in the storm, that sometimes with illnesses it got better before it got worse… but he didn’t have the strength to crush their hope. Deep down they all knew this wasn’t the beginning of the downhill, it was just a lull. But they deserved to have a little joy after all they had seen Wild go through.

“He’s the most coherent he’s been in awhile. We should give him water.” Warriors pulled a water pouch from seemingly nowhere.

“W-w-lf.” Wild insisted.

“Get over there! You heard him!” Wind whisper-shouted, shoving Twilight forward with a small snicker. Twilight hesitantly made his way over to Wild, eyes burned into him, watching to see what Wild’s reaction would be. He knew the other Links didn’t mean to freak him out, but they certainly weren’t helping.

Twilight gently kneeled on one knee next to Wild on the other side of Four, ready to back track if Wild showed any sign of discomfort at Twilight being there.

“Hey Cub.” Wild’s eyes stopped for a moment, and the entire world halted, everyone waited with bated breath. Slowly eyes flickered over to Twilight, and eyes that had been dull for so long finally lit up, if only just by a little spark.

“W-ol-T-Twi.” Wild gasped, and the others could have sworn Wild’s lips twitched upwards.

“Yeah, Cub.” Twilight’s shoulders relaxed, dropping completely to both knees as the other Links smiled. Legend thought about teasing the cheesy sight before him but thought better of it. Hyrule would love to see Wild doing better. Aw shit, Hyrule slept through this. Hyrule was gonna kill him-

“See if you can get him to drink some water. He doesn’t seem as nauseous” Warriors insisted, handing Twilight the water pouch.

“What if he throws it up?” Sky questioned.

“He can’t keep going like this.” Legend nodded to Twilight to try.

“Alright, Cub. This might hurt for a moment.” Twilight soothed, before lifting Wild’s back gently into his lap, the cub’s head resting against his lower chest. With only a small gasp of pain, Wild was situated well enough.

“Small sips.” Twilight directed, carefully pouring some water into Wild’s mouth. The boy coughed a little, but soon strained to get more cool water into his sore throat. “Slow down.” Twilight soothed, placing his hand on Wild’s forehead to stop his squirming. Wild managed to drink half the small pouch before obviously having his fill.

“Thank Hylia.” Sky breathed.

“Don’t thank her yet.” Legend huffed. “He could still heave it back up.”

“Maybe stop talking about it around him and he won’t.” Warriors hissed.

“How ya feeling Wild?” Four asked, deciding now would be a good time for a change of subject.

“Ngh.” Came the eloquent response. It was better than Four expected in all honesty. Twilight snorted a little at that.

“That good huh?” Twilight chuckled. He went to put Wild down and let the boy get the sleep he obviously needed. But the cub reached up and grabbed Twilight’s hand where it had come to rest on the boy's chest. Twilight could have easily shaken off the weak hand if he wished, but Hylia hadn’t Wild gone through enough already?

Wild’s eyes flickered up once more, resting on Twilight’s face. The cub’s hand squeezed so light Twilight could barely feel it, and the man quickly covered their hands with his other one. Wild’s hands were cold and pale.

“S-stay.” Wild pleaded.

“Okay, Cub. I’ll stay.”

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #legend of zelda #loz #wild #twilight #time #warriors #four #legend #hyrule #sky #wind #soft legend #A Sick Wild Child #queenof-literature #queenof-literature story #QoL Story

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years

Text

Lost Without You-- Calum Hood oneshot

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

A/N: based off of Fly By Midnight’s new song Lost Without You. Give it a listen as some of the lyrics are incorporated in the piece!

Warnings: angst, moody and broody

Word count: 2,577

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Enjoy! :)

• • • •

Calum is a man of deception; the Houdini of keeping his six-year relationship hidden from the media sharks’ eyes. He’s the mastermind of averting their invasive questions of why he hasn’t found a special someone yet, what’s the hold-up, to the attention of this awesome bass riff he’s been working on. It’s not that he was ashamed of you or your love, he wanted at least one part of his life to stay private.

Part of his deception is keeping his lips sealed. He’s perfected the silent-yet-observant role of the band, only speaking when he deems it necessary and if it’s related to the band, Duke, or their music while simultaneously he was having a full conversation with you on his phone about how all the planets share the same sun.

For six years, your relationship worked amazingly well. He adored your compassion for his dream, always referring to you as his biggest fan which always made you laugh. It’s been six years of late-night calls, paragraphs shared of how much you meant to each other filled with promises of the adventures you’d have when you’re reunited again. It’s been endless voice notes of a new song he wrote, memories upon memories printed on polaroid’s and saved in a lot of albums on your phone.

For six years it worked until it didn’t.

Complacency became very apparent and the feeling of being stuck in one place crept up your neck and whispered in your ear while your friends were getting engaged left and right. While out and about you felt jealous of other couples who could freely kiss one another. Seeing the guys and their girlfriends cuddle while you were all out dinner left a burning hole in your heart while Calum was three seats away.

For six years it did work, but the comfortable bubble you were in for so long suddenly became uncomfortable and claustrophobic. It was a long break up that left you both teary eyed, your makeup cleaned off from the salt in your tears, and your voices hoarse from talking. You tried talking it through, but the only solution seemed to be taking a break.

A break from your best friend of six years, a break from a love so genuine.

It’s been six months since that miserable night where half his heart was taken and Calum doesn’t want to be by himself these days, he doesn’t want to think of himself this way without you. But he has been thinking about it, every second, every day. He’s been thinking of you constantly.

And you’ve been thinking of him too. Recently you’ve been seeing a new guy, someone from the gym you go to who has shown interest multiple times. He’s the opposite of Calum, so you thought you’d give it a try. Something different, something new.

“Why’d you decide to give me a chance now? I’m glad you did, don’t get me wrong, but I’m curious,” Matt asks while you’re out for coffee.

“I haven’t been alone since I was eighteen,” you confess. You felt a release as you finally opened about your relationship with Calum, leaving his name anonymous so Matt wouldn’t blab to the press you were dating a member of 5 Seconds of Summer.

Your heart burst open of your whole relationship, six years of memories, love, a friendship set on fire, finally released into the open.

“Then why did it end?” Matt asks while he walked you up to your door. You hadn’t realized you talked about your relationship for the whole date, how pathetic is that?

Instead of answering him, you pulled him in for a kiss that traveled to your bedroom. Opening up about Calum opened your sadness of the breakup as well. The whole time you were with Matt, you compared him to Calum in your mind. His fingers were clumsy while Calum’s were sure and precise, years and years of bass playing under his belt did wonders. His hair was thin between your fingers while Calum’s was thick and fluffy. Matt’s movements were jerky while Calum’s were fluid as water.

When it was over, you rolled over to gaze out the window, tears brimming your eyes because for the first time in six months, you felt lost without Calum. There’s another body where he used to be, and you can’t stand the thought. Thoughts of Calum left you awake until Matt kissed you goodbye and left.

Calum’s over at Michael’s, he’s on his fifth white claw and he feels the alcoholic bubbles taking effect. In his impaired state, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to your text conversation, six years’ worth of conversation still held in his phone’s memory.

Him: I miss you when it hurts

Knowing you won’t reply but hoping that you do, he stumbles to the hammock. With one foot on the earth he sways from side to side staring at the stars through the trees. He’s wondering if all those stars have been in the sky since your relationship started when his phone does the two-toned ding reserved only for you.

Excited and nervous all at once, he almost falls out of the hammock reaching for his phone that falls between the netting of the hammock. Cursing under his breath he stretches until his fingers grab hold of the device, the light of the screen illuminates his face.

Her: I’m sleeping in your shirts

His heart skips a beat, his mouth goes dry just imagining you in his shirts. He hasn’t seen his sensation shirt in two years because you stole it and claimed it yours. Every couple months he’d get it back so that it would end up smelling like him and you’d steal it all over again. He loved seeing you walk around your place in nothing but his shirts, he loved the way your ass peeked out from the hem.

Him: but seeing you would make it worse

He impatiently waits while your gray bubbles pulsate on his screen. Then they stop and then your pretty face is on his screen followed by your ringtone. Surprised, he nearly drops his phone again before answering.

“Hello?” he asks breathlessly.

“Can we still talk on the phone sometimes?” you ask.

Calum falls out of the hammock this time because he hasn’t heard your voice in so long. Six years he’s been hearing your voice in his head, on his phone, in his ear while you whisper dirty things. Six months without your voice has been hell and hearing it now, it’s like he’s at the gates of heaven.

“Of course, we can,” he finally responds climbing back into the hammock. He licks his lips. “How are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah…I’m okay,” you respond softly. He knows every nuance of your voice; he can tell you’re telling him the half-truth. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better now.”

Over the next several weeks, you’ve been talking on the phone more frequently. You’re still seeing Matt every now and then, just to give you something to do and hopefully not think of Calum. That’s damn near impossible.

You’re on the phone with Calum while you’re sitting out on your balcony watching the sun go down. Both of you haven’t said a word in about five minutes, but hearing his breathing makes it feel like he’s right there with you. The two of you always had comfortable silences of enjoying each other’s presence.

“Can we be the exes that still stay friends?” he asks.

Your feet slam to the floor that were perched on the railing at his question. It filled you with butterflies.

“I’d like that, Calum. I’ve missed my best friend,” you admit shyly.

“He’s missed you, too.”

Matt spent the night and after your morning coffee, you laid on the floor staring at your ceiling fan as it rotates. The cool air blows on your skin and it reminds you of all the times you and Calum would lay on the floor or the grass, heads next to each other, as you talked about random things. Matt found you like that and asked what you were doing.

“Come lay with me, let’s talk,” you say reaching for his hand.

You feel his hesitancy as he lays next to you.

“What do we talk about?” he mumbles in confusion.

“Anything. Don’t you think it’s weird that Mars has the same sun we do?”

“No,” he snorts.

Suddenly, your door opens and with a rush of panic you sit up expecting to see Calum thinking that it’s him. Part of you wants him to see Matt and the other part of you wishes Matt weren’t in the picture at all. Crestfallen, it’s one of Matt’s friends who came by to pick up a video game he had. Matt leaves you on the floor and you send a text to Calum asking him about Mars and the sun.

He replies quickly with how that fact still blows his mind and you smile.

Ten months have gone by and Calum is pacing back and forth in his kitchen. Duke is following his motions, tongue lolling out and panting while the rest of the band follow the dad and dog duo. You’re coming over for the first time. For the first time since the breakup he’s going to see you and it has his stomach reeling.

“Why are you freaking out so much?” Michael asks.

“Because, it’s been so long! It could either go really well or end horribly,” Calum huffs continuing to move back and forth.

“Will you stop pacing?” Ashton demands, “you’re making me dizzy. It won’t end horribly. You’re already broken up.”

That stops Calum instantly. He glares at his best friend for his blunt remark, Michael and Luke share the same look.

“What?! I’m not wrong! What could be worse than that?”

“We’ve only started being friends again…she could decide she doesn’t even want that,” Calum sighs leaning against the counter. Duke sits at his feet.

“You’ve been friends for six years…yeah, you were also a couple, but I don’t understand how you can just stop being friends with that much history,” Ashton shrugs.

“Yeah, you don’t understand,” Calum shakes his head. Only you and he know where your relationship stands. He’d give you the moon if he could, lasso it and all that like from that movie you love so much.

The doorbell rings and Calum stands up stick straight, he breaks into a cold sweat. Michael offers to get it and when he returns, it’s only Andy and Sarah. At every doorbell Calum waits for you to walk through his door again but is met with disappointment when it’s another party guest.

Feeling defeated he collapses onto the couch, swiping through apps on his phone while the party blurs around him. Duke hops up and lays in his lap.

“Hey guys. Where’s Calum?”

Upon hearing your voice, Calum and Duke both perk up with Duke bounding off his lap and running to wherever your voice came from. Calum stands slowly, hearing your sweet words to Duke as he rounds the corner. Seeing you after all this time is like he can finally breathe again. You’re giving Duke kisses and Calum notices that your hair is different, the new cut and style takes him by surprise but you’re beautiful as ever.

Then your eyes lift to his and he swears he felt the planets align within him. When you smile it’s like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Hey, you made it,” he says gruffly then mentally slaps himself. He should have said something cooler, more riveting but you smile all the same and stand up.

“Hi. Yeah, I did. I wouldn’t miss it.”

After grabbing you a drink he ushers you to a quiet corner where he awkwardly asks for a hug. You share a timid embrace, but it still feels like home. He wants to hold you forever but reluctantly lets go so you can catch up some more.

For the whole night you stay in that spot, unless he left to refresh your drinks, or you grabbed a snack that you shared on the same plate. As the last people left, you and Calum were left alone on the couch, the lights dimmed, and the music changed to something more chill.

“I thought you would’ve brought Matt with you,” Calum says. The other guy’s name leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and his next sentence tastes like bile. “I want to meet him.”

“I thought about it,” you sigh leaning your head against the couch. Your head presses against Calum’s arm that’s slung over the back and he sucks in a breath at the contact. “But it’s not working with him.”

“No? Why’s that?” he tries to sound polite.

You stare at him for a long time, taking in his dark eyes, the slight curl at the ends of his hair, his tattoos peeking from his shirt and the three moles you’ve always loved to kiss.

“I’m lost without you,” you confess.

He stares back for a beat.

“You’re lost without me?”

“These ten months have been so hard. I think about you all the time, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to come over and beg for you to take me back. But I hurt you. I know I did. I hated that night we broke up; it was one of the worst nights of my life. But why would you want me back after I threw in the towel because I was feeling affection deprived? That’s not fair. And then when you texted me…I felt so happy. This whole thing was stupid, and I understand if you don’t want—”

Calum silences you by pressing his lips to yours. You kiss back eagerly, welcoming the comfort of his soft lips against your own, your fingers immediately flying into his hair. His own hand cups your face, you melt at the warmth of his skin and a chill runs through you when his tongue slips between your lips. The world stops, the music drifts away as you kiss your best friend, your soulmate after so many days apart.

The kiss leaves you both breathless and gasping for air as you break apart, but you don’t move far, his forehead rests on yours. You caress the back of his neck while his thumb caresses your cheek.

“I’ve been lost without you, too, cupcake,” he mumbles and your heart rushes at his nickname for you. “I was nervous as shit before you came, I didn’t think you were going to.”

“I almost didn’t come,” you chuckle, “I kept imagining I’d see you with some new girl hanging off you.”

“The only girl I need is you.”

You’re kissing him again, then ask on his lips, “Maybe we should--?”

“Baby, we should start again,” he finishes for you. “We’re both different now. We’ll be different, we’ll…we won’t hide this time. You’ve been a part of my life for so long, you held my childhood that I didn’t want to let go of yet.”

“It’s not letting go, it’s moving forward,” you trace his eyebrows then poke each one of his small moles that you love because they’re like stars.

“Move forward with me?” he asks, nudging his nose against yours kissing you again. You nod against him as he pushes you onto the couch. Your love lost was found again.

• • • •

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#calum hood oneshot #calum hood angst #calum angst #calum fluff #calum 5sos #calum hood writing #calum hood 5sos #5sos writing #5sos fanfic #calum fanfic #calum fic #calum hood fanfic

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gaylorlyrics · 4 years

Text

Folklore Songs - what are they about??

This is a developing thread, but I’ve been listening all day so I’m taking a stab at it.

1."The 1"

Common consensus is that this is about Dianna Agron and what they could have been. Telling lyrics are the general idea that the relationship wasn’t truly given a chance (”it would've been sweet, If it could've been me”) and “Roaring Twenties”, referring to the below circus themed party pics with Diana dressed like a flapper

tbh im not totally sold on this - most because it seems more recent with lyrics like, “In my defense, I have none for never leaving well enough alone” sounds like a reference to ME! and “Roaring twenties” sounds like a reference to something that happened this year (2020). Also “throwing pennies in the pool” could be a reference to throwing Penni (Karlie’s agent) in the pool. Finally, Route 1 is the road along California’s coast, where Tay & Karlie drove on their legendary road trip...this makes my lil Kaylor heart worry.

2. Cardigan

This is the first installment in the Teenage Trio, which also includes August and Betty, and is told from the perspective of Betty. It’s about feeling so loved by someone but then being betrayed by them (”Chase two girls [Betty + August’s narrator] lose one”). The line ”And you'd be standin' in my front porch light” foreshadows to James professing love in “Betty”. Potentially Taylor is Betty - but I’m still thinking about that theory.

3."The Last Great American Dynasty"

We <3 a Rhode Island throwback. Here Taylor tells the story of her house in Rhode Island that Rebekah “Betty” (??!?!??!! more on that later) Harkness used to live in. Rebekah married an heir to Standard Oil which made her one of the wealthiest women in the USA at the time. She was also known for making a scene (”She had a marvelous time ruining everything”). Additionally, she founded the Harkness Ballet (”And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet”). After Rebekah’s death Taylor purchased the house and it is now best known as the place of many epic 4th of July parties.

4. Exile

Such a sad song! This is a duet between Taylor and Bon Iver, telling the story of a failed relationship that they have tried to mend many many times. Interestingly, this is also about a love triangle (like the teenage trio) - "I can see you starin' honey/Like he's just your understudy." This line specifically feels like it could be about bearding, and seeing someone else with the person you love, but feeling like - or knowing - it’s fake. “You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out” references and end to the relationship Taylor discussed in False God “Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town I'm New York City”. To me this indicates that it is about Karlie and them breaking up or going through a rough patch - continually trying to fix things - and eventually being unsure that it could ever be repaired.

5."My Tears Ricochet"

This is pretty clearly about Scott & Scooter - “And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” and “You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” seem to be a reference to them trying to exploit her work and how her leaving Big Machine really ruined the business - plus there’s some LWYMMD imagery. “You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” also seems to be a clear reference for trying to use Taylor’s own work against her, taking the profits, and pushing her out of the deal. As if we needed more evidence “You hear my stolen lullabies” clearly references her stolen masters.

6."Mirrorball"

Big 80s prom vibes from this song. Mirrorball is about being famous and all of her work - her most personal thoughts and dreams - just becoming different ways for other people to see themselves once she releases her music into the world. Part of being an artist is knowing that your work will reflect more of who the viewer is than who you are yourself. Here she uses the metaphor of a disco ball to explore that idea, and worries that she is losing her own identity through it “I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”. She also alludes to her fears that she will age out of relevancy “I know they said the end is near”, something she discussed in her documentary Miss Americana. Obviously this is internalized misogyny because we love Taylor and will listen to her music always and do not subscribe to the belief that women need to be young to be relevant because if they were a man then they'd be the man, and tay’s the man <3

7. “Seven”

Personally, this is one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s so sweet and pure and lovely. This is about young love, with imagery of summer, toys, and child’s dreams to runaway together. Many people have speculated that it is about the same girl that the two unreleased Taylor songs “Sweet Tea and Gods Graces” and “Me & Britney” are about.

[Side note: initially I wondered if Me & Britney was about Britany Maack, Taylor’s long time friend who recently got married, but the names are spelled differently. Also the line in Seven “I can’t recall your face” indicates that this is about someone who Taylor is not currently in touch with.]

Both M&B and STAAG seem to be about the Seven relationship because there are general parallels with outdoor scenery, childlike wonder, and ( in the case of STAGG) sweet tea. Also all three songs indicate a gay relationship: STAGG - “And you can love like a sinner and lose like a winner”, M&B - “That boy she went ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy. Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney”, and Seven - “You won't have to cry or hide in the closet And just like a folk song our love will be passed on”.

8. “August”

This is the second installment in the Teenage Trio, told from the perspective of the “other woman” who James meets while on summer vacation. The other woman (she doesn’t seem to have a name...unless it is August...which it could be? idk) is in love, but realizes that James isn’t in love with her - “Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you”. The line “Remember when I pulled up and said "Get in the car" references the same incident which is retold in Betty, but this time with James telling Betty it was just a summer fling that didn’t mean anything.

9. This Is Me Trying

Here we have a break up song, about Taylor trying to win her lover back and feeling completely lost without them, unable to concentrate or be around people, and turning to self sabotage. It’s about the general loneliness that one feels when they’ve lost someone they truly love, and the miscommunication that can happen in a relationship when you’re not understanding each other or receiving love in the same way (hence the song’s title). I think this could be about Karlie, it seems clear that their relationship has not been smooth and that they have had many on-and-off times. It could also be serving a purpose of building the Joe break up narrative, but only time will tell for that.

10. “Illicit Affairs”

Taylor loves her secret love - this song reads like a sad version of “I Know Places”. It seems clear that this is about Karlie Kloss. “Tell your friends you're out for a run” is one of my favorite lines because Karlie started Klossy run club, where you commit to running a certain distance in a month - and she posts about it on instagram CONSTANTLY. But overall, the song details a relationship of a woman being with someone she doesn’t love (kushnerd) and sneaking around to meet up with the person she does love (tay!). The line “Tell yourself you can always stop” is so sad to me, the idea that Karlie got into this and keeps telling herself that it will only be a little longer and she can leave when she wants, but staying in her fake marriage anyway.

11. Invisible String

This is pretty much the only pure love song on the album - about feeling connected to someone throughout your whole life, knowing that that somebody is out there, and then finally finding them. Taylor talks about being in Centennial Park in Nashville as a teen, and then eventually showing her lover around. The song is really self referential, with lots of easter eggs for her past work, including Bad Blood and Delicate. She also references Joe Jonas with the line “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind For the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents”.

Some people have pointed out that there is a similar idea presented in Jane Eyre - when the protagonist says to her love interest “I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you."

12."Mad Woman"

Another Scooter one - “It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together”. “The master of spin” is word play referencing the masters records scandal. “Watching you climb over people like me” points out that agents and labels are making money off the performers they find and pushing them around. There’s also a reference to Scooter’s wife Yael and how he cheats all the time, but she doesn’t do anything likely because of her own internalized misogyny - “has a couple side flings. Good wives always know. She should be mad, should be scathing like me”.

13. “Epiphany”

The first verse of this touching ballad is about Taylor’s grandfather in WW2, storming the beaches at Normandy - “Crawling up the beaches now "Sir, I think he's bleeding out"”. The second verse is about a nurse helping patients with Covid-19 - “Holds your hand through plastic now "Doc, I think she's crashing out"”. The bridge here talks about wishing there was some great epiphany, some magical solution for the suffering in the world. The chorus refers to experiencing trauma with others and staying loyal even in the hardest times, even if it means literally dying. Although this seems like a departure from the themes of rest of the album, the whole album examines loyalty and considering what you would do for the people you love - so I really don’t think it’s a departure at all.

14. “Betty”

Obviously this is the gayest song on the album and an early fan favorite. It is the final song in the teenage trio, told from the point of view of James, going to win Betty back after betraying her and sleeping with someone else (August!?) over the summer. The line "Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?”, a line that is very clearly about wanting to kiss a woman, is especially striking (& gay!) when sung by Taylor. The clearest version of this plot is someone begging for forgiveness after betraying the person they love.

There is also a bit of a nod to a line in “Picture to Burn”, a break up song off Taylor’s first album. In PTB Taylor says “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy that's fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay”. This lyric has since been changed in versions available online, but on the original album that's what it was. This is interesting because she’s calling attention to knowing that someone is gay and hasn’t told their friends...which you would definitely know if you had dated them.

The names “James” and “Inez” are both mentioned in the song, which are the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynold’s daughters. James was already featured on a Taylor Swift album, as the lil baby voice at the beginning of “Gorgeous”. Worth noting that “James” is traditional a male name, but that this character is named after a female.

ALSO I have this theory I’m working on that Taylor is Betty and this whole album is in the same world with the same people, but WILL POST MORE ON THIS LATER.

15."Peace"

Ok - this is Archer 2.0 for me, about how she is worried about how no one will ever love her or stay with her because its too much work - “the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me” and “No, I could never give you peace” are pretty telling lines about her concerns that people will think it is not worth it to be friends with or in a relationship with her due to all of the baggage that comes with it.

The opening lines - “Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly this summer, it's clear” feed into my emerging theory that all of these songs exist in the same universe and are about the same three characters...but I’m still figuring that one out. The line “And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches” reference Seven and Epiphany, respectively - further supporting that all of these songs are in the same world.

16. “Hoax”

Out of all of the songs that make my little Kaylor heart ache - this is the most heartbreaking. Specifically the line “My eclipsed sun” refers to Karlie, who Taylor has called “sunshine” on multiple occasions, and her light being covered up by her contract with Kushnerd and Scooter. The line “Don't want no other shade of blue But you” makes it clear that this song is in reference to the muse for the album “Lover” - aka Karlie.

However, this is a song about betrayal and completely trusting someone, only to find that they stabbed you in the back, as is clear by the line ”Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in”.

Additionally, the line“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars” seems to again feed into the idea that all of the songs on the album involve the same characters. This one is a bit more clear, it seems that - if this theory is correct - Betty is the narrator of this song, as she referenced her scars before “Drew stars around my scars” in Cardigan.

OK- I'm going to go deep into song by song later, but I just wanted to get something out there!!! Also def interested in hearing what everyone else thinks!

EDIT: I just found some lyrics from The Lakes in an article from Billboard. I wanted to add them in even though we don’t have the full song because I felt like we really ended on a sad note with hoax and then when I saw these I was like there is hope!!

SO the lyric Billboard included in their review was “A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” which is a continuation from the line from “Hoax” - “ This has frozen my ground”. What I’m taking from this is that in the final song Taylor finds hope <3

#folklore #kaylor #Taylor swift #Karlie kloss #betty

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ellewritesathing · 4 years

Text

Ten Things IV

Summary: If there’s one thing you have to know about Harvey Kinkle, it’s that he rarely thinks things through. So when he meets (and falls for) Sabrina Spellman on his first day of Baxter High and finds out that she can’t date anyone until her tempestuous sister does, it seems like the obvious solution is to get someone to date her so he can go out with Sabrina. A not so obvious choice for the challenge is Caliban, but, hey, it’s not like Harvey thought that far.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 4

Word-count: 4.5k+

A/N: pls listen to Wish You Were Sober in the background whilst reading this part + whatever coming of age music you like (bonus points if you choose Ribs by Lorde and/or Strawberries & Cigarettes)

It seemed that when it came to Sabrina Spellman, Harvey would always be nervous. He had these lame little butterflies whenever she tutored him (that spiked when she’d take his hand to correct something). He almost threw up before their next meeting after the head-kissing debacle. And now he was supposed to pick her up for the costume party.

Three costume changes, a near heart attack, and fifteen minutes spent brushing his teeth and fixing his hair later, and Harvey stood outside her house. Her very creepy house. He'd just reached for the door knocker again when it swung open.

Ambrose stood there, giving Harvey a very knowing smile as he looked him up and down. “Afraid she’s not here, friend,” he said, not sounding too disappointed or afraid. “Though in an outfit like that I can’t imagine why.”

Harvey looked down at his jeans, dark t-shirt, and leather jacket and suddenly wished he’d gone with Tommy’s old Captain America costume even though his hair was the wrong color. He reached up and adjusted his hardhat. “It was kind of last-minute,” Harvey admitted awkwardly. “Anyway, uh, what do you mean she’s not here?”

“That she left with one Nicholas Scratch about fifteen minutes ago,” Ambrose said. He nodded gravely before continuing, “Though my other cousin is here if you-”

“No, I’m good thanks,” Harvey said quickly. Ambrose raised an eyebrow and Harvey felt he had to explain, so in a quiet voice he added, “She kinda scares me.”

“Oh, Harvey, you don’t have to suck up to me,” you said with a very mischievous smile as you walked around Ambrose. Harvey went through the four stages of shock as he took in your outfit: A blue and gold cheerleading uniform (weird enough) with the letters DK on your chest and your hair and makeup perfectly done. Sabrina must have done the hair and makeup because you looked like an entirely different person like this, except that your mouth was covered in blood and you wore white-out contacts and a pair of fangs. “She doesn’t listen to me anyway.”

It took Harvey a second to realize that he was supposed to answer you, and, in that second, you and Ambrose let out matching (almost evil) laughs and started cracking jokes about how innocent Harvey was. It was hard to think of innocence when fake blood was running down your neck. At least, Harvey hoped it was fake.

“So, uh, do you need a ride?” Harvey asked in an attempt to recover from the millions of conflicting thoughts he had and his earlier social blunder.

“You’re offering to spend time with me in an enclosed space?” you asked, looking slightly taken aback. Harvey nodded almost immediately. “Wow, you must really like her, huh?”

“No, that’s not what- well, I mean, yeah, I like her,” Harvey stammered. Your smile got a bit wider as you and Ambrose shared some side-eye at his expense. “But that’s not why I’m offering. I just- you know, I’m already here. And the environment is in shambles. So carpooling is, like, the responsible thing to do-”

You laughed and untangled yourself from Ambrose to grab your things. “You’re cute, Harvey Kinkle.” You waved at Ambrose and started closing the door as you stepped outside, ignoring his cries to play nice with Harvey. “I get what she sees in you.”

“Thank you?”

---

This costume party was all Sabrina had thought about for the entire year, and now that she was here all she could think about was Harvey. What was that about? She was here with Nick. Her Nick. She should be having the time of her life listening to him talking about his latest modeling gig, not wondering if Harvey was going to show up. Or what he’d be dressed as if he did. Or-

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Nick asked teasingly, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him.

“Of course! You were talking about how your agent thinks you could get that underwear deal,” Sabrina lied. That was almost all Nick talked about, so it wasn’t that hard to guess. Harvey would have been more difficult to lie to, but Harvey would’ve drawn her flowers and laughed her distraction off. “And they’d be idiots not to take you,” she said, stumbling into Nick’s arms after he pulled her closer.

“Thank you! That’s what I said but my agent …” Nick carried on talking through their rather forced slow dance, but Sabrina stopped listening when she saw Harvey walk in.

He looked so handsomely awkward in his miner outfit as he said ‘No, but thank you’ to all the girls offering him punch and dances. His dark eyes looked so hopeful as he scanned the room and it broke Sabrina’s heart when that hope went out as their eyes met.

She hurriedly separated from Nick, almost tripping over her feet in her rush, but Harvey was gone by the time she did. And when Sabrina looked back at Nick, he looked annoyed and confused.

“If you didn’t want to hear about what Estelle said, all you had to do was say,” Nick said a deep-set frown.

“It’s not that. I just thought I-”

Nick shook his head and started walking away. “Whatever. I’m gonna go get a drink.”

Sabrina let out a breath, suddenly feeling very alone and exposed in this crowded room. Her spirits lifted when she looked around and saw you outside with a very attractive blonde guy, and - better yet - you weren’t telling him to piss off. He must have been Caliban, but he looked very different in his flowy white shirt and blue jeans from your description of ‘he looks like an asshole, but the kind you want to makeout with just to get him to stop talking.’

At least one of you was having a good night.

---

“So what exactly are you dressed as?” you asked, taking a sip from your solo cup in an attempt to come off as cool and not annoyingly flustered by Caliban. Saying something mean would get you out of this mess for sure. “Because you look like one of those idiots from the cover of a trashy lady novel.”

“While I wasn’t going for idiotic, that’s exactly what I am,” Caliban said with a smile. He took the cup from your hand and took a sip, eyes twinkling mischievously as he did. “You seem surprised.”

You shrugged, chiding yourself for thoughts of Caliban’s lips on the spot where yours had been five seconds ago. “I didn’t have you pegged as a romance novel kind of guy.”

“And what kind of guy is that?”

His question was innocent enough, but it was the way he asked it that made your heart skip an irritating beat. Caliban was distracting enough with half his chest exposed and pretty white lace constantly drawing your attention to it. And, if that wasn’t enough, his dumb blonde curls had framed his face when he leaned in to ask you.

“The kind of guy who carries around a lighter because he likes to burn things,” you said, taking your cup back and taking the last sip to spite him.

Caliban looked amused in the corner of your eye as he drew back. “Well, we can’t all be demonic cheerleaders, princess,” he said. “Assuming that’s what you’re dressed as.”

“You’re close. I’ll give you a hint,” you said and turned back to him. You held out your hand and asked for his lighter. Caliban didn’t say anything as he placed it in your hand, but he didn’t break eye contact. You uncapped it, lit it, and held it up to your mouth. The flame got dangerously close to your tongue before you blew it out. In your best Jennifer Check voice, you said, “I’m a god.”

Caliban started laughing as you capped the lighter. “Well, if anyone is going to make killing boys nearly as attractive as Megan Fox, it’s you,” he said. “Though I don’t remember the white contacts.”

“I took some creative liberties,” you said with a small shrug. You reached for his hand and gave his lighter back to him.

After you pulled your hand away, Caliban shook his head and held the lighter back out to you. “You should keep it. Far more attractive when it's with you.”

“What about all the pretty things you like to set on fire?” you asked.

Caliban took a step closer and lifted his hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. He took his time, keeping his eyes on his hands before looking at your lips and then finally meeting your eyes. “They’ll have to take the backseat to another pretty little thing.”

“I’m going to get another drink,” you blurted out as you took a step back. Not your smoothest move, but you needed to get the hell out of there before you did something dumb like kiss him. “Stay here.”

You could hear the smirk on his face when Caliban said, “Whatever you want.”

Luckily, it only took a few frightened looks from the underclassmen to renew your confidence. The contacts were doing their job of unsettling people perfectly, and it made your night to see people who were checking out moments before start squirming. Until you reached Nick Scratch.

Despite the fact that you knew he was afraid of you, he didn’t squirm. He just looked at you with that smug face that made Sabrina fall for him. You hated him.

“And what are you dressed as tonight, kitty cat?” Nick asked, deliberately emphasizing the old nickname. It made your skin crawl.

You started answering when you looked up at him and pretended to be shocked. “Wait, Nick- was that … did your hairline just recede?” You pointed at his hairline and grabbed two cans of soda while he checked.

Nick didn’t try to follow you when you started walking away, but he did start talking loud enough for you to hear him over the music. “You know, your sister likes my hair just fine. She even-”

You turned around and gave him your harshest glare as you stomped closer. “Stay away from my sister.”

“Woah-” Nick held his hands up in surrender. “I’ll stay away from your sister,” he promised. He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “But I can’t guarantee she’ll stay away from me.”

He bumped your shoulder as he walked past you, and you would’ve thrown something at him if he didn’t get swallowed up by the crowd of people racing towards a fight in the other room. Instead, you opted for cursing Nick out with every profanity you could think of as you slammed the sodas down and started looking for something a little stronger.

An over-eager junior was offering you something to drink from his tray of assorted bad alcohol when you saw Caliban again. He was still annoyingly attractive, but he was very clearly pissed that you'd ditched him. Oh well.

“What is this?” he asked as you downed one of the drinks. It tasted disgusting but you refused to pull a face in front of him. “I’ve been looking all over the place for you.”

“Maybe you should go look for someone who actually likes you,” you said without looking at him as you downed another drink and the junior cheered you on. You grabbed another drink, despite Caliban’s protests, and disappeared into the masses.

---

Of all the ways Caliban saw this night going, you ditching him for a bottle of cheap tequila and Harvey looking like someone kicked his puppy hadn’t been his most likely pick. Apparently, Sabrina had blown him off for Nicholas, but Caliban wasn’t listening to Harvey's tragic story so much as he was trying to track you down. He left him with a very surprised vampire named Theo and focused his attention on finding you.

“Hey, James Dean!” Nicholas yelled as he slapped Caliban on the back with unrequited fondness. If he had any awareness at all, it wasn't picking up on the glare Caliban gave him. “How did you get her to do it?”

“Do what?” Caliban asked, promising himself that he could punch Nicholas in the mouth after he made sure you weren’t throwing up in the bushes.

“Act like a human.” Caliban would have to table that promise because Nick was going to- “Oh, yeah!”

The music started blaring from the dining room and Nicholas took off to see some girl dancing on the table. Only, that just wasn’t some girl. That was you, doing a very non-PTA approved cheer for the people around you.

Caliban rushed to get to you, but all you did was grab the drawstrings on Caliban’s shirt and run one of them across your lips before standing back up and continuing your dance, ignoring his repeated requests to come down. The only time you looked at him was when you stepped too far back and fell off the table, hitting your head on the chandelier as you went down.

Caliban caught you and looked at him with the saddest look in your eyes he’d ever seen. You were so uncharacteristically vulnerable after who knows how much alcohol and a head injury. “You know, you’ve got a bit of gold in your eyes, Sparky,” you said softly, lifting your hand to the side of his face.

“Hey, what about our show?” Nick hollered from the safety of his pack with Billy and the other idiots. They made a few more comments as Caliban carried you out to the garden to get fresh air.

You kept trying to push him away, but as soon as Caliban set you down on the low brick wall, your hands tightened around his shirt. “Don’t go. I just need to lie down somewhere.”

“If you lie down now, you’ll fall asleep,” Caliban said, prying your fingers off his shirt one at a time as you argued that sleep was good. “Not if you have a concussion, princess. Can you-”

“Hey, we need to talk,” Harvey interrupted. He was surprised when you latched onto his sleeve and let him know that his hat was askew.

“I’m a little busy right now, Harvey,” Caliban said through gritted teeth as he untangled you from Harvey. You didn't want to let go, and you were just as stubborn when you were smashed as when you were sober.

“I see that but can you give me like one second?” Harvey asked.

“Aww, go talk to him!” you hiccuped. “I’m fine. I’ve got these hydrated-" You frowned. "These hurgerated-”

“Hydrangeas?” Harvey asked, still confused.

“Hydrangeas!” You beamed at him, which looked slightly terrifying with your smudged makeup and bloody face. “Thank you! I’ve got these hiiigh-drangeas to keep me company.”

Reluctantly, Caliban sighed and walked a few feet away with Harvey. He was still making sure that you were upright when Harvey started babbling.

“It’s off. The deal’s off, okay?” Harvey finished. “Sabrina never liked me. She liked Nick this whole time but I thought that, you know, after all this she’d give me a shot but she didn’t and-”

Caliban cut Harvey off before his head exploded and you fell over. “Harvey, do you like her?”

“Yeah…” Harvey said, sounding confused.

“And is she worth all this trouble?”

“Well, I thought she was. I mean, of course, she is. But you know-”

“Either she is, or she isn’t.” Caliban put a hand on Harvey’s shoulder and Harvey somehow looked even more confused by the touch. “First of all, Nicholas is not half the man that you are. He's an asshole. And secondly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” He put his other hand on Harvey and shook him slightly as he said, “So go for it.”

Before Harvey could respond, Caliban saw you falling into the hydrangeas in his peripheral vision and dashed to save you from another head injury.

You laughed as he held onto you and twirled the strings of his shirt around your finger before getting very quiet. The same vulnerability shone through as you looked at him. “Could you take me where the music isn't too loud?”

“Of course.”

Caliban helped you to your feet and almost carried you through the crowd of people to get out to the front, shooting Harvey a not so subtle glance to make sure he made up his mind. He helped you the neighborhood playground across the street while you mumbled about how opprobrious it was to have to be carried out of some high school party.

“Opprobrious,” Caliban repeated, shaking his head. “Leave it to you to use big words when you’re smashed.”

“If I were smashed, could I do this?” you asked, promptly untangling yourself and falling down into the grass a second after you tried to show off. “Ow,” you said in disbelief.

Caliban bent over to help you up and you pushed him off with one hand and pulled him closer with the other. As a result, Caliban came crashing to the ground. He did his best not to crush you as he landed, which you found extremely funny.

Your mouth was tilted up to the sky as you laughed. The street lamps lit up your smile and Caliban couldn’t help but notice how pretty it made you look. You caught him looking at you and fell quiet again. You turned to look back at him, not saying anything at first.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you asked softly, tucking one hand under your head and - tentatively, gingerly - reaching out with your other.

Caliban looked down at your outstretched hand as you started playing with his shirt again. He found himself wishing you reached out for him and not his shirt. “Because you have a drunken concussion and someone needs to look after you.”

“Why does it have to be you?” you asked, frowning at the knot you'd created. “It’s not like you care if I never wake up.”

“Of course, I do,” Caliban said, leaning closer like he was going to tell you a secret. “If you didn’t wake up, I’d have to start talking to girls who actually like me.”

You scoffed and threw his shirt back at Caliban. “Like you could find one,” you said as you rolled to your feet.

“See, who needs affection when I have blind hatred?” Caliban asked as he followed you to the swing set. He wrapped his hands around each of the chains of your swing as he leaned down to speak to you. “Why would I want someone else’s affection when I have your prejudice?”

“Just let me breathe for a second and then I’m gonna say something so mean that you-” You frowned and shook your head, looking down at the ground. “I just need a minute, alright?”

“Alright.”

Caliban took a step back and let himself think for a moment. As rocky as this night had been, he thought it was going fairly well until he found you three drinks in with a junior. He didn’t have time to dwell on why you ditched him, though, because you were falling backward and he had to dive forward to catch you.

You started laughing as you righted yourself and Caliban swore. He sat in the swing next to you and took a deep breath when he was sure you weren’t going to fall over again. “So what did Nicholas say to drive you to drink?” he asked, nudging you with the toe of his shoe.

You rolled your eyes. “Nick just has to open his mouth to make me want to drink,” you mumbled.

“But usually you resort to a witty comeback and not tequila,” Caliban said as quietly snarky as he could. “What made this different?”

“I just … I hate him,” you admitted. “And my sister …”

“Your sister?” Caliban asked, turning back to face you. You’d already started leaning on your chain with your eyes closed. Not only were your eyes closed, but you were seconds away from falling on your face. “Oh, shit. No, no, no, I need you to wake up. Hey, look at me. You need to wake up.”

“Mm hey,” you said quietly, looking up at him and smiling. “You know, your eyes-”

You cut yourself off by vomiting on the grass just in front of his shoes. Caliban pulled a face and tried not to sound too disgusted as he said, “Have a bit of gold in them?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

---

Sabrina stood with Prudence while the party died down. She hadn’t seen you since your table dancing incident but according to a quick text from your phone, Caliban made sure you got some air and took you home. With you gone and her mad at Nick for how he acted with you, that left her without a ride.

“Hey, a few of us are going to Jarrett’s,” Nick said. He put one arm around Sabrina and the other around Prudence. “You ready to go?”

“Oh, thanks, but I have to be home in twenty minutes or my aunts will have my head,” Sabrina lied.

“Well, I don’t have a curfew or overprotective family,” Prue said slyly. Her smile shifted from Sabrina to Nick.

Nick shot a glance at Sabrina and she shrugged. “I can’t tonight,” she said.

“Damn …” Nick sighed and looked over at Prudence. “Well, do you wanna go?”

“I’d love to,” Prudence said, sliding her hand into Nick’s and leading him away. Sabrina would have argued if she cared about him or thought it would make a difference. When Prudence wanted something, she got it.

The only thing Sabrina did care about was how she was going to get home. Her options were slowly dwindling and her aunts would ground her for life if they saw the kind of party she was at.

“Having fun tonight?” Harvey asked as he walked past her, still glum from earlier.

“Yeah, tons,” Sabrina said with a sigh. Harvey kept walking so she rushed to keep up with him. “Hey, Harvey, I know … I know I don’t deserve it but do you think you could give me a ride home?”

Harvey let out a breath and turned to face her. Sabrina braced herself for what he’d say, for the moment that gentle, sweet Harvey would turn out to be no better than Nick. That moment didn’t happen.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “Come on, my truck’s parked down the street.”

Sabrina didn’t know what to say as they walked to the truck, so she just didn’t say anything. Her hand brushed Harvey’s a few times and it broke her heart when he yanked his hand away. She deserved it, though; she broke his heart first.

They didn’t speak as Harvey drove, and it took them a few seconds once the engine was off to say something.

“You never really wanted to go out with me, did you?” Harvey asked, looking at the steering wheel instead of her. “It was always Nick, wasn’t it?”

“It used to be Nick,” Sabrina admitted. “But he’s not very nice to me anymore. He just … I don't know.” She looked out the windshield and shrugged. “And you drove me home after I blew you off. I don’t deserve how nice you are to me.”

“No, you don’t,” Harvey said. He turned to face Sabrina and she knew that this was the moment. “Just because you’re beautiful and smart doesn’t mean that you can treat people like they don’t matter. I- I really liked you, you know? Even when people said you were selfish. Or that you were using me.”

Sabrina sucked it up and turned to look at him. It didn’t surprise her that people said those things, and it didn't surprise her that Harvey defended her. He was the kind of guy who did that for people he cared about, not that he'd be doing it for her again any time soon. “I’m sorry.”

Harvey was quiet. His jaw tightened for a moment and then he looked away. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like you liked me much, to begin with.”

“I do like you, Harvey,” Sabrina said. She resisted the urge to reach out to him. “I like you a lot. That’s the problem.”

“Oh,” Harvey said quietly, frowning. “I’m sorry.”

Sabrina laughed and leaned over before she could talk herself out of it again. She cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss, which he returned after a second of hesitation. It was sweet, clumsy, and over too soon.

“Don’t apologize,” Sabrina whispered when she pulled away. She gave him another smile and gathered her things. “Thanks for the ride.”

---

“Here we are,” Caliban said as he parked the car in front of the old house. “Home sweet home.”

You pulled a face at the mortuary sign and turned away from the window. “Ugh, don’t you just want to keep driving?” you said. “Maybe to the ER? I’ve heard alcohol poisoning is a real bitch.”

“That it is but considering you puked your stomach contents all over my shoes, I think you’re safe,” Caliban said with a smile. Though he knew he’d take you wherever you wanted if he knew it wasn’t just the residual alcohol in your system talking. You just shrugged without saying anything. “Why don’t you want to go inside?”

“My family is … complicated,” you said. You started picking at the sleeves of your cheerleader outfit instead of looking at him. “My parents died when I was little and my aunts took us all in. They’re great, really, they just want me to be someone I’m not.”

“Like who?” Caliban asked.

You sat straighter in your seat and put on a dashing smile before imitating your sister. “I’m Sabrina. I get good grades and don’t punch people even when they deserve it.” If the voice was accurate, it had nothing on the imitation laugh. It was downright creepy with all your smudged demonic makeup, but then you deflated into your seat and started mumbling profanities and Caliban knew you were back to yourself.

“Well, no offense to your sister, but I think the whole people-pleasing act is overrated,” Caliban said. “There are better things to do with your time.”

“You really think so?” you asked quietly. When Caliban looked over at you, all your snark had faded away to your familiar drunken vulnerability. “You’re not just saying that?”

“I really think so,” Caliban said. “Why do you think I like you so much?”

“You like me?” you asked, seemingly caught off-guard.

“I wouldn’t have let you throw up on me if I didn’t.”

Caliban wasn’t sure what he expected you to do, but leaning in to kiss him wasn’t even on the top ten most likely options. It made his heart race, but he knew it wasn’t right. As much as he wanted to kiss you, he didn’t want to kiss you like this.

“Maybe we should do this another time,” Caliban said, turning to face the steering wheel before you could kiss him.

You frowned at him, sinking slowly into your seat. You looked at him but you were strangely quiet as you did. Then, with speed Caliban didn’t know you had in this state, you got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Not quite the way Caliban saw this night ending.

Part 5

Tagged: @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @miss--moose @marrypuffsstuff @harryscarolinaa @igorsbby @foji2000 @hxlalokidottir @artaxerxesthegreat @thxmagic @strawberriesandknives @xealia @hotmessindisguise @acciomaximoff @reheated-coffee @shelby-x @perseny-blog @millie-753 @luneerius @shizzybarnaclee @lettherebelovex @throughparisallthroughrome @ietss @thebookwormlife @mechanicalanimalz @mariamermaid @nqbmf @caliban-is-my-girl @shephard17895 @music-movies @clockworks-world-to-fandoms @luquincy @marina468 @olivia-west-allen @drrramaaaqweeen @roxytheimmortal

#caliban #caliban imagine #caliban x reader #ten things #caos #Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

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datheetjoella · 4 years

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Fantober 2020, Day 27: Breakup

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 27/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,778 Tags: Canonverse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Movie Night, Teasing, The Life of a Rat Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

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Heavy rainfall pattered against the building and washed over David, whose head was concealed by his fedora. This was it. This was the climax and Makoto hugged the pillow on his lap to his chest.

"That fateful day, a rat got lost in the middle of an experiment."

"It's okay," Veronica said from the bottom of the stairs, clutching her pet cat, Snowball, against her chest. "No matter who you've changed into, it won't change the moments we shared or my love for you!"

Happy memories of David and Veronica flashed across the screen as she said her piece and Makoto held his breath.

"Thank you, Veronica, but…" David whipped his head up and the wind blew his hat away. Lightning struck behind David and Veronica gasped loudly, eyebrows raised in terror. The handsome face she had fallen in love with was gone, replaced by a rat's head. Tears shimmered in David's eyes as he said, "Since you love cats, I can't live with you!"

"David! Please, no!"

"Please forgive me!"

With that, David ran off. Veronica collapsed on the stairs, weeping loudly in Snowball's white fur.

A melancholic melody began to play as the credits rolled down the screen. Makoto couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"This can't be it," he mumbled under his breath, leaning forward to fetch the remote off the coffee table. He fast-forwarded through the credits to check if there was a final scene at the end, but there wasn't. This was all there was to the movie. "I can't believe this, this can't be the end! There has to be a sequel, The Life of a Rat 3?"

"I don't know," Haruka said, absentmindedly munching on some of the leftover popcorn. "Ask Rin. He's been a fan of this franchise since day one."

Earlier that day, they were video chatting with Rin and talked about the remarkable things that happened since they last caught up with each other. When Rin asked them if they had any plans for the night, they told him they were probably going to relax and watch a movie, but they didn't have anything specific in mind. Rin recommended this duology; he'd seen both films in the cinema when they were first released a few years back and they made a lasting impression on him. By then, they'd known Rin long enough to decipher that meant he cried at least once while watching them.

Neither of them had heard of this franchise beyond an off mention here and there and while the title was a bit odd, they decided to give it a go. They watched both movies back to back and the bittersweet ending didn't exactly move Makoto to tears. Rather, he was left frustrated.

"This can't be the end of David and Veronica. They can't break up just because David has a rat head now," Makoto said, "I know Veronica loves cats and I understand that, but that doesn't mean they can't look for a solution to bring David back to who he was. Or in the very least, they could've found a way to make it work despite David being a rat!"

"Makoto, it's a movie," Haruka, who was a lot less invested in the plot, said. "Not every story has a happy ending."

"But David and Veronica love each other so much! Isn't true love supposed to conquer all?" Makoto said, adjusting his position on the couch to face Haruka. "Would you break up with me if I got fused with a rat by accident?"

"Definitely."

"Huh?" Makoto's jaw plummeted to the ground faster than Veronica fell to her knees. "What, why?"

"You know I'm only with you for your looks, right?" Haruka said, expression blank as he continued to stuff popcorn into his mouth. "If you lose that, then I don't know what's left for me to love."

Makoto stared at him in incredulity, but then the corners of Haruka's lips twitched up and a hint of a smile broke through his aloof facade. "Haru!" he complained as he smacked Haruka's legs with his pillow. "That's not funny."

Haruka pulled in his legs, folding them beneath himself and he snorted. "No, Makoto, if you somehow got amalgamated with a rat in some freaky experiment, then I wouldn't break up with you. But if you get on my nerves, I might consider setting up mouse traps around the apartment."

"Stop," Makoto said, grabbing the bowl from Haruka's arms. "If you're going to keep teasing me, then you don't deserve any more popcorn."

"I made that popcorn myself, I think I'm entitled to it."

"Try taking it back from me then." Makoto shot him a challenging look.

One glance was enough to determine it would be a losing battle for Haruka, so he tapped out before he started. "You can have it. I've had enough popcorn anyway."

It was a measly victory, but a victory nonetheless. Makoto rewarded himself by popping a piece into his mouth, the buttery yet slightly salty flavour spreading over his tongue.

"What about me?"

Haruka's voice made Makoto look up from his snack of triumph. "What about you?"

"Would you still be with me if I got turned into a rat?" Haruka asked, "And before you say yes, you have to keep in mind that that would mean you can never have a cat. I cannot, under any circumstance, be turned back human."

"I would train the cat not to attack you," Makoto said, but Haruka shook his head.

"No. There is no way for a cat and me to coexist in the same house, and you can't have a separate room or shed or anything to facilitate a cat either."

Makoto rubbed at his chin to feign contemplation, wanting to tease Haruka back a little, but then he said, "Yes, I would still be with you."

"What if you couldn't even pet your friends' cats or stray cats as long as you're with me, because my rat-scent would cling to you constantly?"

Makoto grimaced at that detail. "That sounds gross."

"It would be gross," Haruka said, "So what would it be? No more cat cafés, no more burying your face in soft fur, no more pink paws or rough tongues as long as you're together with me?"

"I'd still pick you," Makoto said decisively because there was not a grain of doubt in his mind about this, "I can always watch cat videos online."

"What if that wouldn't be allowed either?"

A chuckle left Makoto's lips. "You just want me to say I'd give anything up for you, don't you? But yes, even if that wouldn't be allowed, I would still choose you. I'd choose you over anything because I apparently love you more than Veronica loves David."

Judging by the satisfied grin that briefly darted across Haruka's face, that was indeed the answer he was fishing for. "Aren't you glad it's just a movie?" he said as he leaned back against the couch, "Next time, tell Rin to recommend us better movies."

"Well, I didn't think the movies were bad, but I wish the romantic subplot ended differently," Makoto said, "I want to see a romance that's strong and can withstand anything, no matter what. A relationship like ours."

"There aren't any movies like that," Haruka said and he sounded vehement about that fact, like he'd already watched every film that was ever created and none of them held up. "And I can't imagine one will be made soon."

"Why not?"

"Because romances in movies are fictional while our connection, our feelings for each other are real."

That reply made Makoto's mouth fall open once again, his heart melting inside his chest. Haruka stated it like it was the obvious truth, which it was, but Makoto hadn't expected him to say it. Despite their unswerving bond, there were still times when Haruka could catch him off guard, with kind words or equally thoughtful gestures.

"I guess you're right," Makoto said, a soft smile stretching his cheeks. "Maybe we should make our own movie then."

"And star in it ourselves?" Haruka said with a huff of amusement, "This movie is going to be as much of a disaster as the swim club recruitment video we shot back in high school."

"It won't be, because unlike with that video, we're actually fit to play these roles," Makoto said, "I was born to play the part of the compatible love interest. Want me to prove?"

"Show me what you've got."

Makoto put the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, then he grabbed Haruka's hands. His gaze locked onto Haruka's as he vowed, "I don't care what you've turned into, when I said I wanted to be with you forever, I meant it with all my heart. As long as you're Haru, that's all that matters to me because I love you more than anything in the entire world."

A bright blush lit up Haruka's face and he whipped his head around, breaking the spell Makoto cast over them. Although every word he spoke was true, Haruka's reaction made him grin. It was good he wasn't the only one who could be surprised by a sincere confession.

"How was that? You can't possibly break up with someone like that, can you?"

"I wasn't planning to," Haruka said before shoving the last handful of popcorn into his mouth to distract himself.

"I thought you had enough popcorn?"

"I changed my mind."

Makoto chuckled. "As long as you don't change your mind about our relationship, that's fine by me."

"I would never," Haruka mumbled while he chewed, "You're perfectly cut out for your role in this movie."

Even though he already knew that, the reassurance was very much appreciated. "So are you." Once Haruka's mouth was empty, he leaned in and stole a kiss from his lips. Salty kisses rarely tasted this sweet. "I would love for this movie to continue and reach its climax, but it's getting pretty late. Shall we postpone it till tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Haruka said, stifling a yawn at the mention of the time. "You can be a good love interest and carry me to the bathroom."

"If that's what it takes to stay by your side, then gladly." Makoto leapt to his feet and scooped Haruka up in his arms. "You can go brush your teeth first, I'll clean up here."

"Thanks," Haruka said as he pressed another kiss to Makoto's lips.

There might not have been any cameras rolling and they weren't following a script, but as far as love stories went, Makoto was certain that theirs exceeded every other tale that had ever been told.

#i'm sorry i'm stupid #makoharu #makoharu fic #my fic #fantober2020 #colourful days with you #let me preface this by saying that no this is not a breakup fic #sorry if that's what you were expecting but look at me #do i look like someone who could write a breakup fic?? absolutely not #i can't even think about it let alone write it #nevertheless i tried my best to stick to the prompt a little #and this is the closest thing i've ever written to crack lmao #but i hope you'll like it anyway #ok that's enough from me thanks for reading i love you

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souljaems · 4 years

Text

↬ “let me let you go” greekgod!au 2 — huang renjun

— “Athena is destined to always win this not ending war, but this time some things are different. You and Renjun are the humans destined to be the reincarnation of the Greek gods and Athena already has awakened inside of you, not completely, but that’s how she can feel that some things are weird. (…) You have too many feelings for Renjun, way too many.”

1st chapter — Blurb intermission 1 — Blurb intermission 2

PAIRING | Hades!Renjun x Athena!reader, w/ mention of Mark as your brother. GENRE | Action - Drama - Angst. AU | greekgod!au WORD COUNT | 5.4K WARNINGS | Aggressive behaviour, violence, reincarnation, mention of death, bruises. DISCLAIMER | I don’t know any of the NCT members personally, I’m writing this based only in my opinions and greek mythology.

↬ PLAYLIST HERE

“Milady?” Aioros asks before knocking on the door.

“Come in.” You answer, knowing that your friend won’t be satisfied after he sees that you didn’t eat as much as he wanted you to.

“As I can see, you’re still not hungry.” Aioros takes a deep breath before doing something with his eyebrow that brings you a memory from your brother, he used to do that all the time when he was worried.

Seeing your brother’s body in front of you wasn't easy, but seeing your brother’s body doing things that your brother used to do? That is a low punch.

“Is there anything that I can do to help you? You look pale.” Aioros asks, with concern all over his face. “You really should have eaten more, miss Y/N.”

For hours, you’ve been missing Renjun like crazy. It isn’t usual for you to be in control of your body for an entire day, but Athena doesn’t seem to be coming back any time soon, and you hate it. You hate how your entire body hurts. You hate the feeling that you’re constantly grasping for air, craving for a way out of that pain. Your heart aches. Your mind spins. Your hands are trembling. Your eyes hurt. Your body can’t seem to move probably. You want it to stop.

But you just miss Renjun.

Oh God, you miss your husband so fucking much.

When the two of you decided to get married, both of your families thought you were insane. You two were young adults, how would you be ready for marriage? What did you know about falling in love in the first place? Easy, you didn’t. However, you and Renjun still loved each other like crazy.

You learned how to cook with him. You learned how to clean the house with him. You learned how living felt like with him. Everything you thought you knew, you relearned it having Renjun by your side. Back then, Mark was the only one who supported your decision. He even walked down the aisle with you, since your father wasn’t Renjun’s biggest fan. Those two were your foundation, the ones you could always count on. You’ve always thought that you could always rely on them, that they would always be by your side. Today, you’ve been proven wrong. Neither of them is with you.

“I’m not hungry, just freezing.” You force your lips to move without thinking properly about the actual answer. But seconds after you did, you start to notice how cold your “room” is truly getting.

“Freezing?” Aioros furrows his brows in confusion. “But, we have a good temperature here and...” Aioros stops his sentence when he notices your hands shaking, which seems to be impossible since you have a thick blanket around your figure.

In a matter of seconds, Aioros finally starts to feel the freezing pressure coming from everywhere and smashing onto his body. That feeling, so unknown, but also very familiar, crashes into Aioros’ bones, causing his body to ache at the sudden pressure that it’s making it hard to breathe. It’s already dark outside, but something tells him that the dark blue sky has just turned into a dark deep black. Aioros knows pretty well what could make that happen, being more specific, who.

“Y/N.” You hear Aioros calling your name with a deep voice that you’ve known your entire life. That is Mark’s worried voice. “How long have you been feeling this cold sensation?” He questions in a quieter voice, as he inhales and exhales. The air feels heavier, you’re starting to feel it too.

“Aioros, what’s going on?” You ask, feeling a bunch of shivering going through your body and bristling your hair. “Why am I feeling this? What does this mean?”

“Answer me, please. I need to know how much time we have.” Aioros insists, forcing his body to move through that resistant force as he walks closer to you. “I don’t know, around an hour, maybe?” You answer, with your lips shaking as talking starts to become even harder.

“Damn it! If I’m feeling this just now, it means that he’s close, too much close. I don’t know if we can hide anymore at this point.” Aioros silently curses at the situation, looking around as he begins to think about any possible solutions to avoid a direct conflict. Without Athena in control, it’s too dangerous to risk your life in combat.

“Aioros? Him?” You question, not daring to say Hades name, feeling too afraid of the answer.

Aioros looks at you silently, still. He doesn’t wanna say the words. He doesn’t want to be the one who scares you with bad news. He doesn’t want to see you so sad again. But Hades is close, and as much as either of you want to say it out loud, you both know it.

“But you said that it would still take a while for him to come for us!” You state in a louder scared pitch, only to be quickly shushed by Aioros. “Apparently, he’s way earlier.” Aioros returns, as he starts to look for something in his pocket as if his life depends on it. And it does. “Athena was supposed to be awake in a situation like this. Why isn’t she in control?” He wonders more to himself than to you, not understanding why everything is so different from other past wars. “Can you hear her inside your head?”

“N-no, I can’t contact her.” You shake your head helplessly.

“It’s not here. Shit, I think I left it downstairs. Listen, I need you to stay here, sit on the floor and wait till I come back. We'll have to fight if we want a chance to escape.” Aioros tells you with a sudden light appearing on his eyes. He's ready to die for you if he has to, you can feel it. Somehow you know it.

Aioros is saying a lot of slang, Mark's personal problem when he's nervous. That's how you know things are a lot more serious than it sounds like. A lot more serious than the time allows to explain.

“Fight? Hold on, wait a minute, Aioros, I know nothing about fighting!” You contest in widened eyes. “Trust me, you do. Just wait here.” Aioros looks deep into your eyes for a few seconds before running out of the room, not giving you any chance to debate.

As you're left alone inside the room again, you sit on the cold floor with your head full of worries and for a second, you want to truly believe that it will be enough to keep you away from the hard truth, but when your eyes slip from your focus and shift to stare at your own hands, some forming tears start to appear. The cold Hades' pressure is not the only thing crashing into your heart right now, the fear is also burning you alive.

How can you even think about hurting the body of the man you decided to marry? The man your heart chose to be the one? Your head is not thinking straight in the middle of this situation; however, your heart would never be willing to make him go through any kind of pain.

The hard truth isn’t the fact that Hades is here. The hard truth isn’t the fact that you can barely move your body. The hard truth isn’t the fact that you know nothing about fighting.

Hard Truth time? If a miracle happens and you suddenly remember how to fight as much as Aioros says you do, you won't be able to hurt Hades if the opportunity appears.

“Athena, please, if you’re listening to me, I want you to take control, I mean, I need you to take control right now more than ever... Athena, these hands can’t hurt him. I can’t hurt him.” You let a small cry leave your lips as you stare at both of your opened hands. The same hands Renjun used to hold only a few weeks ago. “I know he’s Hades now and that he won’t hesitate if he has the chance to kill us, but I just can’t. I still love him with all of my heart.” You finish your quiet request with tears dropping off of your face directly to your hands.

Your sobbing is filling the entire room and the fear of Hades hearing you is no longer a problem. You wish you could scream and let the whole world know how miserable you’re feeling without him.

“Even if deep down I know how to fight as Aioros said, I can’t do this, and I can't lose my brother for good as well, so please, take control. Just take control. Do something. Anything." You whisper, putting all of your hopes in that next request. “Don't let me be the one to see the love of my life dying right in front of me.”

“Milady, I need you to let me put this on your neck.” Aioros quickly enters the door and whispers next to you. The second he notices the tears falling down your cheeks, a part of him breaks.

That is exactly what he wanted to avoid so bad. He failed. He wants to dry all of those tears away, take you somewhere safe and just tell you that everything will be okay. But as the pressure starts to crash onto his heart, he knows that possibility could only be reached in a dream.

“This is your armor, perhaps if you have it around your neck, it will help you to remember that you can fight.” Aioros explains as he gently pushes your hair to your neck, putting the gold necklace on you. “We just need some minutes, it will be enough to…”

“Athena! Where are you hiding, my dear old goddess friend? Don't be so rude. That is not the proper way to treat a guest.” Hades' tone is calm, but it also sounds too loud and noisy in your ears almost like he is right next to you, it's so loud that you have to contain yourself not to let a small cry leave your lips. “Especially, when we have some background history together, don't you agree?”

Even if you try to cover your ears, you know nothing will stop Hades' voice to sound loud and clear inside of you, that's the worst part of being somehow connected to the devil himself, you can't get away from him. Aioros puts his finger on his lips, indicating you to stay silent, although he knows nothing can mislead Hades now since your goddess presence attracts him. All he knows is that you need a plan, fast.

“You cannot hide her forever, Aioros.” Hades addresses as he finally stops at the front of the warehouse where you're hiding with Aioros. “Why don't you come out here? We have some unfinished business.”

“He's here.” You mouth with no sound.

At this moment, you know you have no other choice, but to rise, despite not knowing exactly how to do that.

“I don't think your unfinished business involves Aioros, Hades.” You warn him, as you finally stand up close to the open window, letting the thick blanket slip off of your figure.

You can feel Aioros' eyes burning you in the second after you've done it and when your eyes finally meet with Hades', part of you immediately regrets your bold and unthinkable decision.

“Finally! I thought I would have to order my army to burn down all of this place just to find you. Thank you for avoiding such a waste of my time!” Hades states, still in a calm tone as a half-smile takes over his face.

For a second, your whole body petrifies. You know you're looking at Hades, the lord of the dead and the king of the underworld, however, it's extremely weird how angelic he looks and how soothing his voice is, it still sounds like Renjun's voice, but is also deeper, colder and has kind of authority to it. His eyes also burn yours. As much as Hades looks like Renjun, his eyes are nothing your husband’s. Renjun’s eyes used to give you comfort and warmth. Hades’ eyes give you nothing but fear and cold.

The whole look paired with the black hair makes you forget for a second that what you’re seeing it's Renjun's body. However, it doesn't have the appearance of what you pictured Hades to look like either, which is good since you would never be capable of holding that firm posture if the vision ahead of you instantly related Hades to Renjun.

What can you say? It's hard to match an angelic appearance to the greek god who wants you dead. And as absurd as it may sound, you're thankful for it considering that it seems to be the only advantage you have against him.

In a blink of an eye, Hades opens his hands and a flash of cold black lightning hits the warehouse, obliging Aioros to quickly hold you close and jump out of the place before its explosion.

“Milady, I understand that he looks like the man you have loved your entire life, but this is Hades and I won't let him hurt you, even if you ask me to do so.” Aioros warns you as he carefully puts you on your feet again, his eyes never leaving Hades’ figure. “I will have to hurt him, you know that, right?” He stares at Hades, feeling his mythological sword finally physically appearing on his right hand.

“I know.” You lament as one of your hands moves to your necklace, avoiding to look at Hades as you try to pick what’s left of your broken heart. What you feared the most is about to happen. “What's the plan?”

“What about not letting ourselves get killed? How does that sound?” Aioros asks in a fun tone, trying to ease your nervousness as he nimbly moves his sword in circles, stopping it only to point at Hades' direction.

“That sounds like Mark.” You smile at Aioros, hoping that Mark can sometimes talk to you through Aioros, even if his body is now fully reincarnated Aioros.

“That sounds insane, even for you Aioros. You should know that such a plan won't work, especially when I have an army by my side and there are just two of you.” Hades mocks Aioros’ suggestion, motioning with his head to all the army who’s behind him, just waiting till he says the words.

“Really? Allow me then to demonstrate why I'm the strongest Athena knight." Aioros snaps and faster than your eyes could see, he punches the floor, causing the ground to crack and open up, making dozens of Hades' soldiers fall into it before it magically closes.

You gasp, not really believing what your eyes have just seen. But since you have discovered that you have reincarnated Athena, nothing can deeply surprise you anymore. And as far as you can read Hades' unbothered expression, Aioros' attack didn't cause much surprise to him either.

“Your strength abilities remain in good shape, Aioros. If I was truly a human, I would say I'm impressed, but that's not why I'm here. Shall we end this?” Hades sarcastically chuckles while he starts to slowly walk towards Aioros' direction.

You're right behind Aioros and finally, for the first time, you feel something that is not burning fear. You feel your necklace burning around your neck and a golden light starts to surround your figure. Your first impulse is to think that Athena is finally taking the lead of your body, but the feeling rushing through your veins is different: YOU are taking the power. Your power. Part of you wants to believe it's just a crazy impulse, but when your body naturally reacts to Hades moving his hand to throw his dark power at you and Aioros, you know that's not just instinct, that's you.

You rapidly move to the front of Aioros, and before Hades could complete his strike, you move your arm and throw gold energy in the shape of a staff, Athena's mythological staff, right in Hades' direction.

Hades looks incredulous for a second. But then, he recovers from his momentaneous shock fast enough to dodge your attack, regaining his imposing posture right after.

“So, you truly are the reincarnated Athena. I have to admit, I had my doubts about it since your aura didn't fit goddess greatness when I first saw you.” Hades admits as his calm and cold expression comes back to his face.

“How dare you to say that?” Aioros hisses with his eyes full of anger as he closes his fist, aiming to attack Hades to show him a piece of his mind, but you gracefully put your arm in front of him, stopping Aioros from doing so.

"Aioros, don't." Your voice sounds powerful, yet peaceful.

Aioros has been fighting by Athena's side since the age of mythology; and even if he wanted to, he could never confound her with anyone else. He knows her aura or in better words: Your aura.

“Y/N?” Aioros calls for your name in furrowed brows. Your eyes remain still locked in Hades. Aioros recognizes that fierce, yet elegantly look on your face. When seconds later, the mythological staff physically appears on your hand and by that, no doubts are required anymore. You’re somehow her. “Athena.” He states, finally letting a smile come to his lips when you nod with a side smile on your face.

Hades strikes another attack towards you, which you retaliate throwing an arrow made of your golden power that left the tip of your staff, on the direction of his attack, destroying Hades' attempt, however, the greek god manages to stop it with his open palm, crashing the arrow with his power that was centimeters of touching his skin.

“I see you’re weaker than I thought you were. As I can see, I’m not the only one going through a strange situation at this age with my usual body. However, I’m not a fool who's willing to fight a war without my full power capacity.” He smirks, making the golden arrow you throw at him turn to ashes as he closes his palm effortlessly, rubbing his hands together as if he’s cleaning them. “Don’t worry, I’m not here for you yet, I’m only here for Mark’s body.”

Something is different about you, and as much as Aioros tries to figure out what is it, nothing makes him so sure about the fact that somehow you have remained yourself, even with Athena's essence over you, like the next words you say:

“You will have to run over my dead body if that's what you wish.” You threaten him, taking a step forward and putting your body in front of your brother's body. You are not losing your brother. Not today.

“Oh, it will be my pleasure.” Hades smirks, striking another attack at you, but before it could hit your body, you position your mythological staff in front of your body, repelling his dark power back at him, causing one of his soldiers to jump in front of him to receive the attack instead of Hades. “It doesn't matter if my powers are not in their greatest moment in this age, I still am the goddess of strategy, have you forgotten about this?” You state, using the leverage of Hades' lack of attention to hit the floor with your staff, making thousands of Hades' soldiers fall on his feet.

He's standing still, staring at you almost like he is surprised at your last choices. Unlike the other times, you're being bold and not cold and calculating as usual. You are not acting like the old Athena he knows.

“So predictable. Not a good characteristic for someone who claims to be the goddess of strategy, war, and wisdom.” Hades ponders, trying to diminish your strange confidence while he raises his left hand, making all of his fallen soldiers get up on their feet again. “You can't kill the soldiers of the King of the underworld. I decide when they die.”

“But I can take down their leader, just like I've done before.” You chuckle, feeling your whole body being involved in a golden light as your suit armor finally gets out of your necklace to take place on your figure. The gold helmet, the shield on your left arm, your staff still on your right hand, all of them weighing nothing in comparison to the sparkle that has taken place in your now greyish eyes. That is what being a goddess feels like, it's like fire rushing and burning through your veins with nothing being more intense than that. Not even the glory of gold.

When you stare at Aioros', seeing him also with his armor on, you just know what you have to do. You start to run towards Hades with Aioros following and mirroring every single one of your moves from behind, like your own shadow, and before Hades could think about striking any other attack, you throw your staff towards him, causing Hades to again dodge your attack, exactly as you predicted. He just couldn't predict Aioros' sword flying right in his direction. Again, the greek god managed to get away from Aioros' attack, but not without a bleeding cut on his left arm.

Suddenly, you remember one of the most important leverages from other eras: Hades has a blind spot, one he doesn't know about.

“You dare to try to hurt me?” Hades scoffs at the sight of his bleeding arm, staring back at you like you have profaned a sacred territory. “I will take your precious big brother’s body with me, I will leave you alone at this age, and I WILL KILL YOU and every single person you have ever loved in this life, human!” He points at you, feeling his hatred consume his figure and turning the whole place around him colored in a true black.

When silver bolts of lightning and thunders start to surround you and Aioros, you position your left arm with the shield as a way to protect the both of you from the bolts of lightning; but before you can even turn around to ask Aioros for a plan, you feel your knight's hand on your right arm, forcing you to run behind him towards another empty storehouse just like the one you two were hiding earlier.

“What are you doing?!” You question, trying to break off from his grip as he drags you into another abandoned place. “Saving your life. We need to come up with a plan that doesn't involve facing Hades and his army at the same time. We are still weaker than usual and facing a furious Hades without a strategy will get us both killed or too hurt to fight back.” Aioros answers, without looking back at you as he pulls you away from any visible spots.

“I have it under control!” You contest, pulling your hand off of his grasp as you stare at Aioros with a twisted expression on your face.

“Y/N, I know you have emerged with Athena's goddess essence without losing your own essence. And no, I don't have the answer to why this is happening, but you need to get yourself together and understand that you are still the goddess of strategy. We are not gonna win this war with irrational attacks.” Aioros grabs both of your shoulders, shaking you slightly as if that can somehow make you pay attention to him.

“Aioros, I demand you to stop this nonsense!” You force his hands off of your body aggressively. “Hades is outside with his whole army with him, we do not have the time to come up with anything. We need to trust our instincts. This isn’t the time to argue whether a strategy will win the war or not.”

“I’m trying to save your-” “She's right, Aioros.” You again hear Hades' voice loud and clear in your ears. The difference? Now, he truly is inside the empty place, right behind you. “Oh Aioros, tell me you didn't think I couldn't see through my own darkness.” He addresses with nothing but pure irony on his voice, laughing while you slowly turn around to face him.

“I could have killed you right now, Athena, and it would have been so easy. Guess this age has taken your usual keen senses away as much as it has taken your rationality.” Hades opens his arms, and his whole body cracks as a pure form of darkness get out of his body, flying straight to Mark's direction.

You were about to jump in front of Aioros to protect him with your shield, when you hear Renjun's soft and confused voice, calling for your name. There is no way Hades could replicate that. And the fact you looked away from the dark form flying towards Aioros to face your Renjun on his knees for a second, is the leverage Hades needs to enter in Mark's eyes.

All you hear next is the sound of Aioros' body falling on the floor.

“AIOROS!” You outcry, throwing yourself to the floor as you try to hold the now aggressively shaking body of your brother. He’s cold. “Aioros, talk to me, what's going on?” You try to get him to look at you, but Mark's eyes are distant, almost like he's facing his own battle inside of him, which is confirmed when groans and screams of suffering start to leave his mouth. “Aioros! What is happening? What is he doing?” You shake his body, trying to get his attention as you stare helplessly at your brother's body reacting at the evil soul of Hades.

“H-he's trying to kill Aioros, so he can take control of Mark's body.” You hear Renjun's voice by your side, making you stare at him in pure desperation. Not really believing that voice belongs to your husband, not until your eyes finally met again.

For a second, you just sit there still. Your vision is blurred from the remaining darkness that continued on the air after Hades' fast movements, but deep down in your heart, you know that the person next to you is not an illusion. You were so caught up in trying to contact Hades, that you didn’t notice Renjun crawling over the floor till you. The young man next to you still has the black hair falling onto his forehead, but his eyes? Those are the eyes of the man you’re married to. Nothing could replicate those eyes, not even Hades.

A small part of you is relieved to see the love of your life alive, but the other one can't process the fact that you are on the verge of losing your brother.

“How are you alive?” You question him, more to yourself than to him, to be honest. “It doesn't matter right now. But what it does matter is that whatever made my soul continue alive when Hades inside of me, is not going to work in Mark's body if Hades manages to take control. He's going to kill them both.”

“What? No! No, there has to be another way!” You argue, shaking your head aggressively as you refuse to believe in what’s happening. This has to be a lie. A hallucination.

“You’re half Athena now, so if you don't know a solution…” Renjun holds onto his bleeding arm, trying hard to remember about everything Hades had thought when he was inside him, but finding no useful information. “Then I don't think there's one.”

“NO. I refuse to let this happen, Renjun. He is my big brother, my partner in crime, my ride or die best friend. I can't lose my brother to an evil psycho!” You exclaim in fear, staring at Renjun's eyes as if you’re looking for any type of answer they can provide you.

“You won't.” You hear Aioros' voice, followed by the cold sound of the knife he usually keeps close to his waist going through his chest.

And just like that, all the sounds of suffering cease.

You've always heard about those stories where people go through almost a death experience, and how their whole lives go through their heads in a blink of an eye, with tons of memories like flashes. Now you know they aren't true. You're not the one who's about to bleed till death, but you still see all those memories going through your head like a bullet.

The pain and sadness drain through you, taking away all the strength and power that you so firmly and believed that could save you and your brother out of this mess. The only thing left is the ocean of tears that you were trying so much to hold back previously. You have no reason to stop them from falling now.

“MARK!” You screech in pain, gently placing your brother's body on your arms with forming tears on your eyes as his eyes finally meet with yours. “Hey, little sister.” Mark gives you the best smile he could in that position, making your heart feel like it is physically breaking.

“What- Why? Why are you doing this? Have you lost your mind?! Huh?!” You let a loud cry leave your lips, watching as your brother's mouth starts to get filled with his blood. The blood with your genetics. The blood that so deeply connected the two of you. One of the greatest bond you could ever have with someone on earth.

“This-” Mark coughs his own blood, staining your trembling hand that is currently caressing his cheek tenderly. “Hades won't have enough power to hurt you in his abstract form of darkness. He'll have to go back to the underworld, and this will give you enough time to run.”

“Mark, I can't-” You choke on your tears, feeling like all the air inside of your lungs has left you alone. Your sobbing is so loud that for a second you’re scared that the words just won’t leave your mouth. “Goddammit, Mark. I can't lose you. Who is gonna secretly give candy to my future children before dinner? Who is going to show them all the pictures of me with that terrible short cut hair? You can't leave me. Why in this world would Aioros give you this terrible idea?” You hold his head next to your chest, almost like you could stop him from leaving you if only you hold him tight enough.

“He didn't, I came up with the genius plan, he just agreed with me.” He let a weak laugh leave his lips, staring at the person he loves the most in this entire world.

You.

“I'm your ride or die, remember? I have the feeling that Aioros is the same thing for Athena. And because of that, we are more than glad to sacrifice ourselves if that means that both of you will have the chance to stay alive.” Mark coughs on his blood again, getting harder and harder to speak. “Besides, Nike is by your side this time. You're finally going to break this curse and end this war.” Mark elucidates, causing you to shake your head at his statement.

“Nike? The goddess of victory? What are you talking about?” You ask, with all of your tears dropping off of your face and landing on Mark’s face. “Baby, look at your arm.” Renjun touches your right arm, making you look at it for a second, noticing for the first time a drawing of Nike glowing from the inside of your arm.

“Aioros knew something was different about you when you finally fully awakened. It is her… she has come to help us.” Mark finishes his sentence with a hopeful smile on his face, reuniting all of his left strength to cover your hand on his cheek with his own, whispering the last words you would ever hear him say to you: “I love you.”

The only thing that can be heard after that is the loud scream of pure agony that leaves your mouth, filling in the entire empty room.

You have the arms of the man you love around your figure, which was everything you could ask for some minutes ago. But at the same time, your own arms are holding close to your heart the lifeless body of the one person you thought that would never leave your side. The one you love with your whole soul. The one who left you behind with a missing piece of your heart. Your only brother. Your big brother.

Your Mark.

#nct #nct dream #huang renjun #renjun timestamps #renjun imagines #nct imagines #nct series #nct greek gods #nct dream greek gods #nct dream timestamps #nct timestamps #nct blurbs #renjun drabbles #renjun angst #renjun angst hours #nct dream blurbs #nct drabbles #nct dream drabbles

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chappedandfadedvds · 3 years

Text

Dec 27th, Sunday 03:01

„Christ! You scared me.“

The voice startled Jens. His head flung around, away from the window he had stared out at the dark forest across the snowed in driveway. His eyes closing in on a shadow coming closer. For a moment he was confused if maybe Lucas would have found the side of their bed next to him empty. But it hadn’t been his voice calling out quietly from across the room. Instead he found Sander walking up to him, his eyes squinting at the boy sitting on the floor. He must be confused to see Jens here. It definitely wasn’t time for anyone to be up.

„I thought I’d seen a ghost.“

Sander’s light joke fell flat, ending up in him loosing the small smirk grazing his face, as Jens simply kept looking back up at him indifferent. He’d rather be alone. Otherwise he could have stayed in his room in the first place.

„What are you doing here?“

Unfortunately the older boy wasn’t going to go anytime soon, it looked like, as he went to sit down across of Jens, both leaning with their respectively shoulder at the opposite side of the wooden frame of the french window in the living room. There fell silence into the small space between them, as they watched each other. Sander looked tired.

„It’s okay. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But I’m here, I can’t sleep either, I just thought to get some water and do some thinking. Didn’t know I’d have company.“

Jens hadn’t either. His eyes drifted off to look back out again. There were these mesmerising, thick snow flakes falling slowly from above, dancing across the night. How late was it anyway for Sander to be up?

It reminded him of all these weeks ago, when Jens had not been able to close his eyes and had the older boy texting him at four in the morning, or however late it had been then. When he hadn’t told Sander about what kept him awake. And he probably wouldn’t tell him now either, if this time it wasn’t for completely other reasons. There had been the odd little conversation between Lucas and Jens before they went to bed about the moment when Lucas had looked at him funny back at the cliff. It had woken him from his sleep and he just couldn’t stand himself to be next to the peacefully sleeping boy. So he had left.

„It’s just too much sometimes. And Luc, I...“ He was really going to talk about this, huh? Though he felt like Sander would probably get him the most of all the people that currently found rest under this roof. „I don’t want to be a burden to him,“

Sander snorted at his words, but sighed when a minute passed without Jens giving any hint of reaction on his side.

„Tell me about it. I’m as broken as one gets.“ The other boy said, with such sorrow, that Jens’s eyes shifted to see the weary expression on his face. There was the lightest hint of a smile on his lips, but it didn’t reached his eyes. It looked so very wrong to Jens in that moment. He didn’t wanted to see Sander like this.

„That’s not true. You are one of the strongest and coolest people I know. And people love you. Robbe certainly does.“

It did made Sander cheer up a little, pull him out of his blue, as he turned his head to fix his eyes on Jens with a sense of resolve behind them, that only affirmed the younger boy’s statement.

„They love you, too. Lucas definitely does as well, perhaps even more.“

„I know.“ Jens swallowed down the growing lump in his throat. He knew that all too well. He wish he didn’t. „That’s sometimes precicely the problem, I think.“

Sander regarded him in the half shadow of the only lamp outside illuminating the porch. It didn’t spend a lot of light, leaving much of their dimmed expression hidden in a dark greyish shade. But Jens knew that their was worry in the older boy’s eyes.

„Look I’m not the best at giving advice or solving problems, god knows I suck at that. But I’m going to listen if you want to share something.“

It was a very kind notion of the older boy to offer an open ear. But he wouldn’t know where to begin to explain. It was overwhelming enough to open up that door in his mind, yet alone to speak up on it. Jens bit on his lip, his right hand balled into a tight fist, that let his nails dig into his palms to calm his frustration at himself. Sander’s gaze darted briefly down towards it, before they were back up in his face.

„Do you often not sleep?“

A simple question. Simple enough for him to believe to be able to give Sander an answer.

„There is rarely a night going by without me staring at the ceiling at some point. Usually I just wake up early.“

„That sucks.“

„It really does.“

There was another brief pause, as they both dwelled on their own thoughts for a while. He got sleep. Enough to make it through the day. He just never felt well rested. The last week though had been nice. He almost had forgotten how dismal the night could feel like. If only Lucas hadn’t looked like that today. If only Jens wouldn’t have to think about worrying his boyfriend. He hadn’t even thought about it til now that Sander had joined. He had been perfectly still as he watched the snow outside.

„What is it for you?“ Sander asked breaking the silence once more. Jens didn’t quite understood where he was trying to get with it. He watched him puzzled, wrecking his brain for an answer he couldn’t find.

„What do you mean?“ Jens replied instead.

„Like. I for one have these nights when I can’t stop thinking. Where my mind runs marathons at lightning speed, while the world is crushing me. And then there are nights when I want to hide inside the little time I have left at night before the morning comes and I have to face another day. At the worst nights I don’t want to be alive to see the next minute. And I hate to feel like that, but I have to trust Robbe. He told me I wasn’t a burden to him, when I wake him if it get’s too bad, you know. And sometimes he is a little fed up with it, especially if he hasn’t gotten much rest either. But he never leaves. He always stays. So it gets better.“

Lucas did that too, didn’t he?

„How do you trust him to tell the truth?“ Jens dared to whisper. His heart was beating so loud, maybe Sander hadn’t heard him. Perhaps he had only asked himself. But Sander tilted his head lightly, resting his temple on the wooden frame.

„I just have to. I can’t allow myself to think otherwise. And he proves it to me every day. Even on the ones we argue.“

Jens couldn’t quite imagine them arguing. Not since they had got together a year ago. They always seemed to be on the same page, working closely together to face life. His best friend expression lit up everytime his eyes found Sander. Whatever they did they did together. Sander always gave into Robbe’s demands. At rare occasions even the other way around. They were the most amicable couple he knew. He shook himself out of his thoughts. He was drifting off again.

„Sleepless nights are the opposite for me. I don’t think much.“

Sander’s lips curled up, surpressing the laugh in an amused grin.

„Tell me something new.“ He said, letting Jens retrace his words.

„No, wait! Not like that, asshole.“ Jens replied, himself smirking briefly, before their conversation caught back up with them.

„I mean, I just stare.“ This was hard to admit. Lucas knew, but he only knew because he spent almost every night at his side. Jens didn’t had to explain it to his boyfriend. To Sander on the otherhand, he had to. „I don’t feel much in these moments. These are the rare hours I just get to exist, you know? I’m not sure how to put it into words. It doesn’t make sense, I think. I’m pretty much empty then.“ He exhales deeply, unsure how to proceed from here. Jens tried to just let his mind talk as the thoughts came to him. „And I don’t even have to wake Lucas. He somehow knows, has some radar or some shit. Most of the times at least, he gets me out of it rather quick. And I hate that so much.“

He was an asshole to feel that way. Especially when his boyfriend only tried to support him. Jens should be grateful for it, when he feared he found resentment just hidden right behind.

„But isn’t that a good thing? That he is there and mostly that he wants to be there for you?“

Sander didn’t saw it.

„It is. I just wish he wouldn’t have to do it, you know. We are not even together that long.“

He should stop using that excuse. It got old. It didn’t help.

„Mhm, you are a couple for longer than Robbe and me had been when he found me hiding at the academy. You already have a couple of weeks on your backs.“

Jens knew that. Hence why he tried to desperately ignore how fast time was passing, weakening his poor excuse. Jens felt like he put all the weight on Lucas shoulders almost since the very beginning of their relationship, and it was only growing in size from the moment he had told him about his mom. And it was different from Robbe and Sander, wasn’t it? It involved doing all this grown-up shit. There was of course the flatshare, but most responsibility fell on Milan. Stuff, like banks, lawyers and insurances to deal with, that his friends only needed to worry about earliest next fall after graduation, if not much later. Not even taking Lotte into consideration here for a moment.

He felt immediately bad for his thoughts. It was his illness that Sander was fighting with constantly. Something he didn’t get to stop with til his last day. That couldn’t and shouldn’t be compared. Fuck.

„So do you at least know why you feel like that?“

Right they were still talking. Jens almost had forgotten about the older boy watching him, as Jens felt terrible for the direction his thoughts have taken him.

„I sorta do, yes.“ Jens admitted. He truly did. It started with his mom’s diagnoses in march and ended with his future raising his sister. Of course he knew the reason that kept him awake and made Lucas worry. And in turn made Jens wish he could just stop himself.

„Well that’s a good start, right?“

„I don’t know.“ He really didn’t know how that would be a good start. The solution lay in being able to move forward from this. To find the strength to not cling onto every minute that passed. Time was literally running through his fingers. And he was afraid he was too weak to do that.

„It is, it means you can figure out how to fight it.“ Sander said, smiling at him in encouragement, but it only made Jens’s eyes burn. The fight was already long over.

„I don’t know, Sander.“

And then there came the tears. These damn tears, that probably would have appeared anyways. No matter if Sander had been here or not. But it helped to feel the hand of the older boy resting on his shoulder for a second before he got pulled towards the body across. He probably should head back to his room soon. Lucas may already be awake and worried, waiting for Jens to show up again. God, how much he hated that this was the most likely scenario. Yet for a moment he’d just lean into Sander’s embrace, as he tried to calm down enough to get up, when Sander spoke for one last time this night.

„I think you do.”

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

#week 10 #wtfock #skam #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #chapped and faded #sander driesen #supportive friends ftw #the fluff is not completely over #i promise #okay?#we good?

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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So sometimes I worry about the world tree scene because of some things that happened before. Like how Kon left Gon and never came face-to-face with him again because of reasons. And then Hisoka said transmuters are fickle and are prone to quickly viewing something they once saw as a treasure as trash. I hope that isn't the case with Killua but his decision to leave and the number two comment just seemed messed up and unnecessary to me. I just wish Gon wasn't always being abandoned.

Hi anon ! I totally understand this feeling, I hate knowing that Gon probably feels abandoned again, and I know that Gon and a lot of readers/viewers took the "you're second place now" comment the wrong way.

I wrote a post analyzing this specific scene if you want to read it, because I think this line is the key to understanding Killua's motivation to leave Gon for now. To me, Killua wasn't just being an asshole for fun, he was trying to push Gon away purposefully so he wouldn't follow him, because he knows Illumi is after him and Nanika and he can't let Gon ever end up in the same state he was in during chimera ant arc ever again. So his best choice is to leave Gon, even if it breaks his heart, even if it breaks Gon's heart, it's the best solution for now, until Illumi is dealt with. In my opinion, Killua would never leave Gon behind for any other reason, he just cares about him too much.

Now for the part where you mention Hisoka's nen personnality analysis, I feel like it's a good point you bring up, and let me elaborate on why I think this will never, ever concern Killua, and why I think Killua still cares about Gon deeply.

Killua's character has always been one who breaks the pattern of expected behavior.

Throughout the story, Killua has been assigned stereotypes and negative roles that he constantly breaks. The Zoldycks keep on insisting that Killua is a boy of darkness fit to take over the family business. Like you said, Hisoka mentioned that transmuters are liars and fickle. Illumi kept on insisting that Killua could never have friends, because he would eventually want to kill him, because that's in his nature. There's this red herring in the Hunter Exam arc where Kurapika even thinks "Yes, while he's still with us..." when Leorio says "It's reassuring to have Killua with us", implying that Killua would inevitably turn on them. Biscuit tells Killua that he'll eventually leave Gon behind to die.

and Every. Single. Time. Killua does the exact opposite.

When the Zoldycks tell Killua that he's perfect to be the heir, Killua instead yearns for a good life for himself. When Illumi tells him that he can never have friends, Killua does his best to be the best friend Gon could ever have. When Hisoka implies that Killua is fickle and will eventually get bored of Gon, Killua proves the opposite by always sticking by Gon's side no matter what. When Biscuit tells him that one day he's gonna leave Gon to die, Killua puts his life on the line and physically and mentally breaks free from his family's control just for the sole purpose of protecting Gon. And when Illumi (wrongly) foreshadows that one day Killua will leave Gon to die, Killua does the exact opposite, and actually saves his life.

Killua always broke the expectations people had on his behavior. While people always implied that he's fickle, a liar, not fit to have friends and would eventually betray Gon, Killua always proved that he's in fact the exact opposite. Killua is none of these things people said about him. Killua is caring, loyal, devoted, loving, and a generally good person. He always, always tried his best to be the best friend Gon could ever have. He always proved that he's better than what people associate him with.

When Killua and Gon parted, Togashi did a wonderful job at creating a sense of tension : the fact that we don't witness Gon's apology, we don't see them together until they separate, the "you're second place now" comment, Killua "replacing" Gon with Alluka, the sad face when parting, all of these culminate to create a feeling of unresolved tension between these two.

And in my opinion, it's intentional. Togashi WANTS us to think that Killua is mad at Gon, that Killua leaves because he doesn't want to be with Gon anymore after everything that's happened. Because that's what you'd expect, you'd expect him to be mad at Gon. And this time, it's not a character that puts a negative stereotype on Killua, but we as an audience. And just like Killua always proved everyone wrong, I'm willing to bet that this time won't be different, and that his reason for leaving is much more different than what we'd expect.

In conclusion, I don't think Killua left because he's mad at Gon or because he doesn't care about him anymore. Killua constantly proved everyone that their expectations of him were wrong.

We saw Killua grow from a confused ex-assassin to a loyal best friend, and making him "throw away Gon" like garbage just as Hisoka “predicted” is not only out of character, but it's also contradictory to the narrative Togashi has been trying to convey through Killua from the beginning : that the only one who can define you is yourself.

Togashi wouldn't throw away Killua's entire character development for the sake of tragedy. So don't worry, I'm 100% sure that Killua still loves Gon a lot, maybe even more than before since he's not always comparing himself to him anymore, and I'm also pretty sure that his true reason for leaving is to protect Gon.

While we saw Kon and Ging abandon Gon behind for the sake of responsibilities, and we saw Killua do the same (to take care of his sisters), I'm certain that Killua will be the one that breaks the pattern by coming back to him with the reason for why he left being out of love for Gon. Togashi just loves slow-burn, angst and red herrings.

Sorry for the long reply, I just had a lot of thoughts about it !! Thank you for this ask ! I hope I could bring a bit of optimism!

#ask #hxh #meta #my meta #sorry this is a whole ass essay but i just love killua too much and i really wanted to show that he would never leave gon because hes mad

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pastryseungs · 4 years

Text

Nightmare High (2016)

Dir. Hyun Moon-Sub

⚠️ Spoilers !! ⚠️

i started watching this because i keep seeing this on Netflix and my curiosity got the best of me hehe. also because i’m quite impressed with Kim So-Hyun’s acting skills and she’s also one of my favorite Korean actors, because of her performance in Love Alarm (2019).

lmao so i finished this show a couple of days ago and i was supposed to post this after but i decided to collect my thoughts first so i could make this post work haha. i tend to forget what i just watched five minutes after watching it sometimes (its not a quirky thing ;-; i tend to get surprised that i just finished another show that i forget what just happened lol).

anyways, i kinda liked this drama, though i felt like it was a bit of a slow-burn, it showed what the characters were like if they were given the chance to play god, which led to them abusing it then wanting it to stop when they get overwhelmed by it. here’s a list of my thoughts on each characters’ stories :v

1. Kim Seul-Gi

the name reminds me so much of Seulgi (Kang Seulgi) from Red Velvet lmaoo. Kim Seulgi (Seo Shin-ae) was considered as their class’ “outcast”, with her classmates going out of their way to talk about how she’s invisible and that she’s worthless before proceeding to mess with her stuff. being fed up with her bullies, she decides to go to the counseling office and talk to Mr. Han/Han Bong-Gu (Uhm Ki-Joon) who gives her the layout of their classroom and a red pen, telling her to connect her name with a classmates name with a red line if she wants to be friends with them. after trying this, her classmates start acting nice to her, which eventually led to her not being given the time to be alone and to be with the people that she wants to be with, which then led to her asking Mr. Han if he could reverse the whole thing and go back to normal.

Seul-Gi’s story was honestly a bit sad and frustrating with me. this is why you shouldn’t give people the chance to play god or the chance to control their fate and their surroundings, it just won’t end well. the girl just wanted to have friends that genuinely care for her. the solution that Mr. Han gave her was addicting at first but when it all backfired on her, she decided that maybe it wasn’t for her at all. sadly, she had no other choice but to be trapped in that mirror.

Seul-Gi deserved better :<

2. Oh Ki-Chul

Oh Ki-Chul (Baek Sung-Do) is a student that participates in wrestling/boxing/fighting matches. (??) after a while of not participating, he stumbles upon two students that are fighting and decides to break it up. he was then met with what looks like a student who was also the group’s ‘leader’ telling him that one of the rules of fighting was to never butt-in on someone else’s fight. he was then dared to participate in a fight but turned down the offer as he planned not to do it until he graduates.

after a series of provoking and starting to participate again in other fights. Oh Ki-Chul and Mr. Han spoke about him joining fights, before Mr. Han puts Ki-Chul in a trance to help him see if he’ll win or not. he decides to use this to his advantage, memorizing what he has to do in order to win his fights in the future. eventually, he too had to sign a contract with his blood- like every victim of Mr. Han’s to continue receiving this kind of privilege which eventually led him to being trapped in a mirror too.

my main takeaway from Ki-Chul’s story was that it was kinda weird that Mr. Han just watched from the sidelines instead of holding Ki-Chul back and try to change his mind into not participating in the fight. sadly, he’s not like other Homeroom teachers. for others, they’d probably say that he’s provoking these students into wanting more.. but i think that he’s actually giving them the taste of their own medicine if they decide to abuse their desires if it were given to them. but i still think that Mr. Han’s a bad guy lmao duh.

3. Ahn Si-Yeon

first of all, i think that Ahn Si-Yeon (Kim Da-Ye) is so adorable !! her character gives me fangirl vibes ✨ sadly, she had to fall for Mr. Han’s trap too. it first started when her classmates accused her of lying to them about her having a boyfriend who lives in Boston, with them purposely making her “overhear” their conversations about someone they know that lies about their personal life. i didn’t really get why she had to lie though, i’m quite convinced that she did that to gain more friends. sadly, they had to pry and pry to the point that she had to find a solution to their nosiness, she started it anyway. Si-Yeon went to the counseling room to talk to Mr. Han, where she was given a notebook to write down her desires. now this part gave me Death Note (2006) vibes.. but with less people dying from heart attacks lmao.

after writing down on the ✨ magical ✨ notebook, her ‘boyfriend’ from Boston suddenly appears out of nowhere, apologizing for taking so long to arrive and be there with her. surprised with her wishes being granted by the notebook, Mr. Han gives her the option to sign a contract with her blood or everything goes back to the way it was.

Si-Yeon then continues making ‘things’ happen through her notebook, until she decided that she didn’t want to continue using the notebook anymore and that she wanted everything to go back to normal. unfortunately, burning the notebook didn’t do anything which eventually caused her to be trapped in the mirror as well.

4. Chun Jae-Soo

duuuude, my fujoshi side is jumping out i hate myself lmao anywayss i can’t help but ship Jae-Soo (Jang Kyoung-Up) to Ko Ki-Tae (Ji Eun-Sung), they all so give me Kaneki and Hide vibes from Tokyo Ghoul (2014) !!

anyways, Jae-Soo’s story was pretty sad for me but it was kind of a slow burn? idk, maybe i wasn’t paying much attention or time went by slowly for me that day.. but he got so dependent on the drinks that Mr. Han was giving him that he eventually forgot everyone, even his bestfriend! which made him resort to writing the important details of his life on his arms and on the chair of his desk. i was so sad when Ki-Tae saw Jae-Soo’s arms :< he definitely knew what was wrong with his best friend but couldn’t think of a way to help him without the other thinking that he’s prying. ngl though, i honestly thought that Ki-Tae was using Jae-Soo at first but was then convinced that they were actually best friends.

Jae-Soo’s dependence on the drink eventually made him forget his name, even where he was and where his classroom was. which gave Mr. Han the advantage to trap him inside the mirror as well.

5. Do Do-Hee

Do-Hee (Kim Ji-An) is considered as the queen in her class and was even in their school, Yosan High’s advertisement poster. unfortunately, her boyfriend, Lee Jong-Suk (Kwon Young-Min) cheated on her with a student from the lower level. she was then replaced on the poster with the same girl, which fueled her anger and jealousy towards the new couple. thinking that her beauty is disappearing and she’s being replaced as the prettiest girl in their class, Do-Hee stumbles upon an app that gives her the look she wants with one click. unfortunately, it doesn’t last long and she’ll have to sign a contract with Mr. Han so she could continue using it.

Do-Hee’s features start to get more enhanced, with female students in their school asking her how she got and maintained the far from natural look.. which eventually caused her and Jong-Suk to get back together. after a few weeks of dating, Do-Hee catches Jong-Suk talking to the same girl and retaliated by pouring water all over the two.

unfortunately, her beauty also disappears when her phone’s battery dies and she’ll have to constantly find a way to get an updated phone. the app eventually sent her into a mental breakdown, making her more obsessed with her looks, which gave Mr. Han.. again, an advantage to trap her in the mirror too.

overall, i think the show was pretty good !! Kim So-Hyun and Lee Min-Hyuk have great chemistry and i ship them a lot ;-; though i kinda think this show was a slow burn and there were parts that were kinda boring for me.

it was also kinda creepy and sad for me since these students clearly have problems but their homeroom teacher that should be mediating this situation and guiding them to the right path is the person who’s actually leading them to his trap, which was so frustrating to watch since Ye-Rim (Kim So-Hyun) and Sang-Woo (Lee Min-Hyuk) were so close to finding out what was actually happening. sadly, Mr. Han is waaaay too ahead of them. kinda surprised of the plot twist too where the camera Sang-Woo was using was supposed to tell about people’s lies, kinda reminds me of that TikTok POV i saw the other day.

#nightmarehigh #film review #netflix #must watch #korean #kdrama #nightmare teacher #nightmare high #asian series #k drama #kim so hyun #school

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araeph · 5 years

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Hi, I finished watching atla. It's a good show with interesting characters. But I wonder why Mai is hated. I mean, she saved zuko and co. at the boiling rocks. She believed in him. The brief eye lock they had after zuko locked Mai says so. I just want to know your opinion.

Why Mai Is Hated

(Disclaimer: This is not an even-handed analysis of Mai’scharacter because that was not the question asked. The question was, Why is Mai hated? The following essayattempts to answer this question, and only this question.)

We’re introduced to Mai as abored teenager who hates being uprooted to Omashu. So great is her indifferencethat when a plague has reportedly struck the city, she merely offers her dadfire flakes and looks bored. Her little brother is kidnapped soon after, andshe casts her mother a disdainful glance when the latter breaks down in tears. Maithen joins up with Azula willingly, again because she is bored, and the princesstries to exchange Mai’s brother for Bumi before reneging on the deal, which Maiagrees to without even a hint that she is worried for her brother during orafter the fact.

At this point, Azula tells Maiwhat she needs her and Ty Lee for: tracking, capturing, and imprisoning GeneralIroh and Zuko according to the Firelord’s wishes as expressed in “Siege of theNorth Part 2.” Per the wanted poster Azula brandishes at the royal guard in“The Avatar State,” Zuko is wanted deador alive. Despite being teased for her crush on him, Mai shows no signs of conflictat her mission or trepidation on Zuko’s behalf.

Azula: (to her men) My brother and my uncle have disgraced the Fire Lord and brought shame on all of us. You may have mixed feelings about attacking members of the royal family; I understand. But I assure you, if you hesitate, I will not hesitate to bring you down. Dismissed.

Along the way, Mai also helpsAzula hunt Team Avatar to exhaustion and capture the Kyoshi warriors so thetrio can infiltrate the Earth Kingdom. Unlike in Zuko’s character journey wherehe learns to understand and empathize with the Earth Kingdom denizens duringhis time with them, the most Mai ever says about the people she encounters isthat their bright colors make her nauseous and it’s amusing when one of the DaiLi almost wets his pants out of fear. Eventually, Mai and Ty Lee help Azula andZuko topple the last standing bastion against Fire Nation world dominationwhile Iroh is hauled off as a prisoner.

Azula, who wants to make sureZuko is kept under control, decides to set him up with Mai in order to keep aneye on him. The couple catch on at a suspiciously timed dinner and decide toescape for a fun evening out on the town. They run into Zuko’s ex-girlfriend,which annoys Mai even though she and Zuko are not dating and, as far as weknow, were never actually together. So she pretends to be a knife thrower froma circus and flings an ice dagger through an octopus atop the unwilling Zuko’shead. Mai then encourages Jin, a complete novice, to throw her own lethalprojectile at Zuko, causing him to land in the fountain and endure publichumiliation. This is supposedly revenge for when Zuko knocked Mai into thefountain … as a child … to save her from being burned at the hands of Azula. Iam not sure why this warrants a payback, but it makes sense to Mai. Oncethey’re alone, Zuko understandably shouts at Mai that she could have gotten himkilled. Mai laughs loudly at this and brushes it off.

Once back in the Fire Nation, Maistarts dating Zuko officially. This mostly involves her ignoring or yawning atZuko’s inner turmoil and scoffing at the gifts he brings her, except for therare occasion when she tries to distract him from his problems by makingunreasonable demands on his servants.

They quarrel constantly untilZuko leaves the Fire Nation and Mai meets him again at the Boiling Rock, whereshe lambastes Zuko for ripping out her heart even though he pretty obviouslykept her in the dark for her own protection. She then says that she doesn’tknow Zuko, which is true, as he locks her in a cell moments later so he cansave the people in his life he has a genuine connection to—and who, thoughformer enemies on the opposite side of the war, have thrown fewer things at hishead than Mai has.

Suddenly Mai betrays Azula forZuko. Why? She loves him. Why does she love him? We never find out, since theonly things she ever says about his character are negative. Ty Lee saves Maifrom her impending execution and Mai later pulls some strings to get them bothout of prison. Once she makes her way to the capital, she announces withoutpreamble that she is Zuko’s girlfriend again, pokes him in the chest, and warnshim to never break up with her again.

In the comics, we discover thatthe “don’t ever break up with me again” rule applies only to Zuko and not toMai, since she dumps him in the very first series. However, let us be fair toMai: Zuko did keep the truth from her, twice, and the first time she sought asolution to the problem by getting the Kyoshi warriors to be his bodyguards.But going behind her back to talk to his evil father is the last straw for Mai.It’s such a deal breaker that she leaves the palace when Zuko is facingmultiple assassination attempts and is borderline suicidal.

Mai’s stalwart stance against notgoing behind your partner’s back to talk with an evil father will last untilher next comic series, when she goes behind Zuko’s back to talk with her evilfather. This and her refusal to turn her father in result in thenear-assassination of Zuko and his entire family, including his little sisterKiyi. Kiyi is later kidnapped because Mai’s father is still on the run and shehas refused to come clean. When Mai finally admits her aiding and abetting of amurderous traitor, she reacts to Zuko’s dismay by yelling at him and neglectingto apologize for endangering him and his loved ones.

Pleasenote that Mai’s redemptive deed in the show was her saving Zuko’s life from amurderous tyrant and that her actions here completely cancel that out.

Mai has meanwhile been dating KeiLo, a nice young man whose affections she uses in order to spy on her fatherfor Zuko. Why she used Kei Lo against her father for Zuko’s sake, only tobetray Zuko for her father’s sake, is never explained. The three of them andAang later wander the catacombs trying to find clues that may lead to Kiyi’smysterious kidnapper. But what isquite apparent is Mai’s utter contempt for Zuko during this journey. Shedeprecates Zuko’s dating style in front of her current boyfriend, insultsZuko’s ancestors, obliquely asks when Zuko will die by inquiring whether he’sreserved a grave for himself, and implies that Zuko has weird friends. Why shefeels entitled to remark on this, when she’s had a total of one real friend herentire life, is anyone’s guess. She caps it all off by saying that, thanks toZuko, she needs all future romantic relationships involving her to beemotionally imbalanced in her favor.

In the end, they fight againstMai’s father, he is captured, and Mai praises him for his bravery … even thoughhis actions consisted of hiding in the shadows and kidnapping children, whichseems like the pinnacle of cowardice. The comic ends with Mai and Zuko smilingat each other, Zuko holding his little sister in his arms (whom Mai hadendangered), and Mai holding her little brother in her arms (whom Mai had alsoendangered). Isn’t family bonding time great?

Where this intensely annoyinglove triangle is headed in the comics is uncertain, although to be honest, KeiLo/Zuko is the only healthy pairing that could result from those threecharacters. Certainly Mai and Zuko don’t resume a relationship after this, althoughthe fandom presumption is that, somewhere down the line, the pair willinexplicably marry.

Aside from Mai’s selfishness,hypocrisy, refusal to grow, and lack of compassion, the narrative around her isdisjointed and contradicts itself at several critical points. Mai is made outto be the goth girl who’s a wet blanket on her parents’ emotions, until “TheBeach,” where we are told that no actually, it was her parentsoppressing Mai’s emotions the whole time. Mai is willing to sacrifice everything in “The Boiling Rock” to save Zuko’s life, except that wait, she iswilling to throw that sacrifice away for her father in “Smoke and Shadow.” But holdon, isn’t that the father she implied was neglectful and oppressive in the first place? And wait, if it’s actually her brother growing up without a fatherthat she’s concerned about, why was she so blasé about her brother getting previously kidnapped in “Return to Omashu”? And which is supposed to be Mai’sredeeming character trait: that she stands up for love in spite of her better judgment (“The Boiling Rock”), or that she stands up for her better judgment in spite of love (“The Promise”)?

Mai’s motivations are muddled. Isher first loyalty to her father, her brother, Azula, or Zuko? The story givesus multiple answers, which it then doubles back on whenever convenient. Thisleaves herself as Mai’s only consistent priority, which is hardly a firmbedrock for constructing a heroine. Mai is not moving toward a fixed point indevelopment; the plot is dragging her along for the ride, while she exists asan afterthought. A plume, if you will, of smoke and shadow, that is fast losingwhat cohesion it possessed.

#anti maiko #anti mai #anti atla comics #long post

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timmyteehill · 3 years

Text

Discord Thread || Tee & Jack

Thread featuring Tee & @jckriley

When: New Year’s Eve concert

Mentions: @thalialovegrace @dammitdorian

Description: Jack and Tee argue after they spend New Year’s Eve with different people

TW: arguing

Tee

The concert was fun and Dorian was good company, but Tee’s attention kept going to Jack and Thalia. He was beyond pretending that he didn’t care. Him and Dorian wouldn’t be here pretending to be on a date to make Jack jealous if he didn’t still have feelings for his ex. With the way Jack was constantly flirting with someone on the group chat, it shouldn’t be surprising that he also had a date for New Year’s Eve but Tee still found himself feeling disappointed. He thought this was his chance to make Jack a little jealous, get a reaction out of him and maybe something would happen between them. Instead he had to spend the night looking over to him while pretending he wasn’t. Dorian was a saint for not complaining about it. Just as he was getting himself a drink, Jack showed up right next to him. “Happy New Year”, he said, trying his best not to sound too bitter.

jack

Jack was definitely fuming. He was really trying to keep his cool here -- and really trying to focus on Thalia, who deserves to be treated to a night out after the past few days that she's had. But how could he focus when his ex was kissing someone else in front of him? And it was Dorian of all people -- someone that he considered a friend. He can't really blame them.... can he? Exes are exes for a reason, and Jack can't control what Tee does (although, he really wish he could. It's fucked up, but if only he had control over him, then he didn't have to watch him fall in love with other people). He was startled to hear his voice next to him at the bar when he went to get a drink to cool off, turning to face him. He smiles, but it feels far from genuine -- and probably looked like it, too. "You certainly seem to be having a happy one."

Tee

The only reason Tee was doing all this was to make Jack jealous enough to do something and that wasn’t happening. As much as he liked Dorian, New Year’s Eve celebrations weren’t really his thing but he tried his best to make an effort. Both to thank Dorian for his help and as another attempt to make Jack jealous. Instead he was miserable having to watch his ex and Thalia having a good time together. Why couldn’t he just stop loving him? Tee thought he managed after not talking to him for so long but that all went out the window the second they started talking again. How could he not love him after their conversation on Christmas day? It was impossible. “Not as happy as you, that’s for sure. You seem to be having a great time with Thalia. How long have you guys been a thing?” It wasn’t any of his business but he had to ask.

jack

Jack was a little taken back at his question, knowing that many people certainly knew that Thalia and Jack were close, sure, but not more than friends. Tee seemed to believe otherwise, though. And for a fleeting moment, he thought -- why not? If he's gonna flaunt Dorian in his face, he should have his own fun to do, too, even if it was fake. But realistically, Jack could never pull it off -- he didn't have it in him to lie, not at all. "Thalia and I aren't a thing. I just wanted her to have a good night, and she wanted to take me here for my birthday." Honesty was a curse for him, really. "Tee... why didn't you mention to me that you were seeing someone? I feel like that would have been good for me to know."

Tee

Tee was surprised at the answer he got, even though he tried not to show it. He knew Jack wasn’t great at lying, always having preferred running away from a situation then to try and lie his way out of it. How could it be possible that they weren’t a thing though? Thalia was all over him in the group chat, it’s what gave him the idea to ask Dorian for help. “That’s really nice of her. It’s fine if you guys do have a thing though...you can tell me.” Tee didn’t want to admit that he saw how they talked to each other on the chat but it was pretty obvious by now. Now this was a tricky question to answer. Making sure not to admit it was fake but also being careful not to make it look too serious wasn’t any easy task. “I know I just...didn’t think you’d care. It’s not something serious, we’re both just enjoying each other’s company.”

jack

Jack purses his lips -- he couldn't read Tee's face right now, and he couldn't tell whether he cared about Thalia and Jack's status or not. The latter would break his heart, to know that Tee had so easily moved on, while Jack was still dreaming of their last interaction, missing the touch of his fingers on his skin; a comfort, to the details Jack had just revealed about his life. "We're just sleeping with each other." Fuck it, why is he worried about filtering his answer for Tee? He's single, and Tee is evidently doing the same. It stung, that Tee didn't even seem to consider Jack when he made his decision to flaunt Dorian -- of course he fucking cared, he doesn't think he'll stop caring even though he really, really wants to. "That's great --" he tells him, his eyes focused on the shot he'd just ordered, downing it as fast as he could -- he couldn't tell if he was pissed off, or just really hurt. A mixture of both left him feeling like breaking something. "Really fucking great." he turns to face Tee, a scowl apparent on his face "Looks like you got yourself a more open boyfriend, huh? Compared to your hard-ass ex."

Tee

Tee winced before he could think about how that would look. He knew that was the case, Thalia never hid it with her words, but to have if confirmed by Jack himself hurt so much. They weren’t dating and so his ex was free to do whatever he wants but he still cares, he cares so much it hurts. And to have him admit to it so candidly...maybe all this work with Dorian to make Jack jealous was all useless. He moved on ages ago and their last conversation was just a way of getting closure. Although he still tensed up at Jack’s tone of voice. “Maybe I did. He’s not scared about showing he cares about me, even in a chat where everyone can see”, he snapped. “Not like you can complain, you just said it yourself that you and Thalia are fucking. Found someone who’s willing to put out without feelings getting involved?”1 January 2021

jack

he was hoping the conversation could end before he completely snapped at Tee -- because he thought it would be undeserving to snap at his ex for simply moving on, and finding something in someone else... something he couldn't provide him with himself. It was only fair, yet Jack felt enraged about it. But then, Tee was the one to stop with the bullshit passive aggressiveness, and Jack didn't think he could hold back his thoughts anymore. "Well congratulations, Tee. That's all you wanted, yeah? I hope you two are fucking happy together. I personally think all the PDA and petnames is nauseating, but you do you." He was starting to get mean, and snarky -- a defence mechanism that he hated that he employed, but it was how he coped in order to keep himself safe from hurting... to hurt others, instead. "At least Thalia doesn't try to pry those feelings out of me. It's a bit of a relief, really." he didn't mean it, fuck, he didn't mean it at all -- but he wanted to make him feel worse than he was feeling now. Something he knows he'd come to regret later.

Tee

If Jack was thinking more clearly, he would probably be able to tell that what he and Dorian had together wasn’t real. Tee might have wanted someone who didn’t mind kissing him in front of others and showing them they loved each other but he was never big on PDA. And he hated cute nicknames unless he was saying it jokingly. Jack knew all that but...maybe they didn’t know each other as much as they used to anymore. Tee flinched, looking as if he’d been slapped. “I’m glad you’re so relieved to be rid of someone who just wanted a boyfriend not too embarrassed to kiss him in public. I’m glad to be with someone who appreciates me for once.” How did they go so wrong so fast? All he wanted was a way to see if Jack still felt anything for him and, knowing how hard his ex found it to open up, Dorian seemed like the perfect solution. He was definitely regretting it now though.

jack

He was taken aback, his words hitting him a lot harder than any comment Jack could throw at him -- while he was trying to hurt him, Tee was simply stating that he thought Jack couldn't appreciate Tee like Dorian is. Maybe people outside of their relationship might look at it this way, seeing how closed off Jack was in public with him. But he simply didn't care about that stuff -- he knew how he felt about Tee, and he would gladly kiss him, hold him, and sink into his beautiful features for hours in private. He tends to forget, that not everyone will see relationships like Jack does. At this point, with alcohol in his system and the sheer emotionality of this night, Jack was fighting to hold back tears at his words. All he wanted was to hug him so tight, and tell him that he never stopped appreciating him -- and that he likely won't, not for a long time. He wanted nothing more than to break down in his arms, but he just couldn't. "Fuck you, Tee." he instead chooses aggressiveness and to hide away from his feelings, turning and storming back to Thalia -- far away from having to face his issues and feelings, when it comes to Tee.

#discord #thread #c: jack

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richiefuckfacetozier · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3: Winding Me Up Inside

Story: Why Can’t This Be Love

Click to read on Archive

Art of Eddie and Richie by @whatidoisxsecret

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

___

Eddie honked profusely at the car in front of him. Everyone had decided it was idiot day on the road as one of the bridges was down from a car fire. People were cutting him off or making illegal u-turns that almost hit his car. He ended up pulling over to grab a drink at a restaurant. He wasn’t very well going to die tonight if he could calm his nerves with alcohol instead. It was unfortunate that he left his pills at home, knowing they could calm him immediately but a gin and prune juice, his healthy alcoholic beverage of choice, would have to do the trick.

About a month had gone by since ‘The Arrangement’, something Richie had started calling their pretend dating. Eddie would’ve rather called it ‘The Nightmare’ but Richie wanted a positive outlook on the situation.

Eddie eyed a grungy bar next to a pizza joint that looked perfect to grab a cheap drink. However, upon further observation, there was a rainbow flag sticking out above the bar’s entrance. He blinked at it, took a step forward, then froze. His body had seized up at the prospect of going in.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but a booming voice said, “You in or out?” Tossing him from a temporary mind blank.

“Huh?” Eddie focused on the bouncer standing by the entrance, who was ripped and large. He never understood having such intimidating people be the first greeting you encounter before entering a bar or club. Don’t these businesses want people to come in? “Oh...er...no no. Just searching for a place to drink.”

“Well, this is a bar.” The man eyed Eddie up and down, giving the impression of being humanly x-rayed. “Drinking is the main activity...among other things.” There was some prolonged eye contact between them that dried Eddie’s throat into a Sahara desert.

Eddie nodded shifting forward. He reached for his wallet, which had his ID, but his hand merely hovered over his slack's front pocket.

“Maybe another time?” The man suggested with a lighter tone. Eddie straightened up, nodded and walked away.

He just failed at that pretty spectacularly. What would Richie think? Probably that he was a chicken. This had been an extra hard month. With the realization, he may have stronger feelings toward guys than he had ever admitted to himself. He had stopped sleeping, barely ate, and secluded himself more.

Suddenly, the demise of his relationship with Myra was making more sense. When she used to touch him sensually, his skin crawled. He assumed that was from the years of his mother convincing him the world was a germ-infested blackhole, girls were dirty, and how he could never truly be clean. Except he rarely felt that way when Richie touched him. Or any of his friends. Sure, they had known each other for years, but he knew Myra for a long time too and it didn’t settle into a comfortableness that relationships were meant.

He tended to resist Myra’s kisses, fake not feeling good to get out of sex, and pushed her away constantly. Their break up had been devastating. At the time he believed it was because the love of his life left him. Now he knew the truth.

Eddie eventually got a drink at a bar a few blocks away. The drink refreshed and calmed him immediately. It’s funny how certain things relaxed him right away because he’d conditioned himself to feel that way. His mind began thinking about tomorrow, a chilling dread running up his neck. He scratched at the nape even though nothing truly itched.

He was seeing his friends for a pre-engagement party celebration. Just the seven of them. The thought almost made him break out into sweats. He downed his drink and ordered another. Usually, he would be extremely excited and thrilled to see the losers club, except the next step in the arrangement, was occurring. Eddie had to come out collectively to the group. A fake coming out but that fakeness was becoming authentic with every passing moment.

He wished there was someone he could talk this out with. There was Mike, but that felt wrong somehow. The one person he wanted to tell was Richie. What would he even say? There was a nightmare scenario he replayed every day that Richie would laugh in his face, which logically he would never do but Eddie’s attempts at controlling his imagination have never come to fruition.

While he was absently stirring his drink, his phone started ringing. A picture popped up on his screen of Richie lifting a screaming/laughing Eddie from behind. He took an extra second to remember the joyful memory, running a finger over the picture then answered.

He sighed into the phone, “Hey, Rich.”

“Where you at, gumdrop?” said Richie with an obvious smile in his voice.

“A bar. The traffic was crap, so I am waiting it out.”

“What’re you wearing?” He said suggestively.

Eddie frowned, huffing out, “Work clothes, why?”

Richie clicked his tongue, “Cause you are supposed to be at Beverly and Ben’s celebration extravaganza in,” quick pause where Eddie figured Richie was looking at his phone for the time, “20 minutes.”

“No, it is tomorrow.” Eddie insisted.

“No, my cutie patootie Eds, it is today.”

“No,” He said slowly. “It’s on Friday, you turd.”

A laugh came through the phone, “Today IS Friday.”

Eddie paused as horror sunk in fast and deep. “Oh shit…”

“Yeah, so see you at the restaurant!” Richie hung up, leaving Eddie to his panic.

He slapped down a $20 on the bar counter, despite the drink being less than half that and bolted out the door. He ran past the bouncer who shouted, “Don’t trip, kid!”

His car turned on with a roar then he zoomed out of the space. The traffic had significantly cleared which worked in his favor as his car swerved around dangerously. His heart pounded with adrenaline. When he pulled up in front of the restaurant, Richie was standing on the curb smoking a cigarette.

Eddie gave the valet his car keys, not even thinking about how much that would cost him at the end of the night, and hurried over to his friend.

“The prodigal son has returned!” Richie tossed the second half of his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out for good measure. As Eddie neared Richie wrapped an arm around his shoulders pulling them close together. The smell of smoke was both overwhelming and familiar. As much as Eddie despised the disgusting habit, he was so used to it that he could brush it off.

Eddie pushed on his chest to free himself a little but not enough to break contact. “I can’t believe I fucking forgot.”

“Take a minute to breathe, Eds. Where’s your head been at lately?” Richie asked in what he probably thought was a casual tone, except, Eddie knew better. His friend was really asking ‘Where have you been?' or 'Why are you isolating yourself?’.

Isolation was the only solution for hiding his emotions, which had been many and increasing each day he spent alone with his thoughts.

Instead of answering the question, Eddie shrugged and smiled lightly.

Richie reached up and pinched Eddie’s cheek with a “Cute, cute, cute!”

“Stop it, I hate that!”

He laughed, “You ready to do this?”

Eddie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, “I can’t do this.”

“You CAN do this!” said Richie with excitement. “Just be yourself.”

“Fake coming out to my friends is the worst idea we’ve ever had. It is wrong.”

“What do you suggest then?”

Eddie nervously glanced at his feet, “I think we should just out ourselves to Bill like we planned next.”

“You think they are going to believe Bill without any pretense? No, you have to come out and it has to be tonight since it’ll be the only time we are all together before Beverly and Ben’s engagement party. If you steal her thunder in any way, she will murder. Who she’ll murder is unclear but it starts with Ed and ends with die. Hey! That was more clever than I intended.”

Eddie swallowed, “Alright, but Richie…”

He made a tracing motion toward the ground “There will be a chalk shaped Eddie on the ground with Beverly DNA everywhere. It’s going to work, Eds. I promise.”

“Don’t call me, Eds. Listen, Rich I…”

“Stop trying to come up with excuses! It’s going to be fine.”

“No, Richie! Just shut up a second!” His heart was beating out of his chest, he had to tell Richie what he had been going through or everything could be ruined. He had to give him an out if he wanted. Eddie shrugged off Richie’s arm, so they were facing each other. “I’ve been thinking that I...I…”

“Well, spit it out Eds. Thinking what?”

“I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE GUYS!”

Richie stood shocked and silent at first, just staring. Those ice-blue eyes hiding secrets and judgments that Eddie desperately wanted to hear aloud. Tears had caught in Eddie’s eyes which he blinked away quickly. “Well! Don’t just stand there, asshole! Say SOMETHING!” He demanded.

“I...I…” Richie sputtered face turning crimson red.

“Well, spit it out, Trashmouth.” mocked Eddie.

“I do too.” He gasped out.

It was Eddie’s turn to stare in silence. “Sorry, I think I went temporarily insane. Repeat that?”

“I like guys, too. I have since college.” Richie sighed with relief. “Maybe longer.”

“What? You have?” This revelation made Eddie take a step back. “I had no idea.”

“Not relevant information to disclose.” Shrugged Richie.

Eddie gave a confused look then lowered his eyes skeptically, “This isn’t a joke, Richie. I actually believe I am gay.”

“You're the one who shoved a rainbow cake with sprinkles on top of my bisexual pie.” Richie’s eyes twinkled.

“Wow,” A smile broke out across both their faces, pure joy at the realization that they weren’t alone. They had never been alone. “What were the chances that 2 out of the 7 of us friends would be gay.”

They stood there, in a rare silence, watching each other with a newfound comradery that didn’t seem possible after 20 years of friendship. Richie grabbed Eddie’s forearm and pulled him in for a hug, which was returned 10 fold. Tears that he forgot to keep holding in fell into the side of Richie’s neck. His emotions were on a rollercoaster with no chance of stopping. He faintly heard Richie say, “Eddie, I…”

He didn’t get to finish what he planned to say because a “Richie! Eddie! W-what’s the hold up?” Interrupted them. They quickly broke their embrace as Bill appeared beside them. He looked calm despite a bit of impatience in his eyes, then saw their faces and concern washed over him immediately.

Bill put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the weight very comforting. “Everything ok?” He reached in his pocket and took out a travel tissue pack. Eddie gave a watery giggle, taking one and blowing his nose.

“Yeah, Big Bill,” said Eddie. “Everything’s great.” And he found that his words were true.

After a few more breathes and checking himself in the selfie camera of his phone, Eddie felt ready to face his friends. The three men walked into the restaurant, heading to a back room that Ben reserved for the occasion.

“Congrats to the couple!” Richie shouted as he bounded over to bear hug and lift Beverly off her feet. She laughed swatting at him, “Let me go you dorkface!”

“Dorkface!” Exclaimed Richie. “Of all the sass to receive from your dude of honor.”

Eddie watched the exchange warmly. Ben patted him on the back. “Traffic?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Eddie said embarrassed. “Tons.”

“There was a car fire and crash on the bridge.” Came the dry, toneless voice of Stanley Uris. “Surprised it wasn’t you Eddie, with all your road rage.”

Eddie gave a pout in Stanley’s direction but walked over to his friend for a handshake and a hug. “Such a kind, warm greeting from you Stan. I miss you, too.”

“Where’ve you been lately?” He sounded unperturbed, but he wouldn’t ask if there wasn’t a genuine concern.

“Oh ya know,” Eddie trailed off with a shrug. Stanley lifted an eyebrow but didn’t push it, for now at least.

Eddie started to seat himself between Stanley and Ben when Richie grabbed his collar jerking him backward. “Scoot over, Stan the man.”

Stanley rolled his eyes, “No.”

“Why?” asked Richie.

“Because I am comfortable here.”

“You’re being a stinker, Stanley. Move to the seat next to Ben. You like Ben, don’t you?”

“Of course I…”

Richie looked right at Ben, “Too bad for you, Benny boy, it seems Stanley doesn’t like you anymore.”

“Beep- beep, Richie,” Beverly warned while drinking a glass of wine and placing a hand on Ben’s arm.

“I’m just saying it is suspect that the best man doesn’t want to sit next to the groom.”

“He’s not a groom until the wedding day.” Stanley insisted. “And I am already sitting…”

“Richie isn’t gonna let it go, Stan. Just move over one.” said Bill with strong finality. None of the losers liked to admit anymore that Bill remained the group’s leader even into adulthood. But when he made a request it was usually followed with little argument. Eddie figured it didn’t matter how independent any of them grew up to be, Bill still held a controlling rope over them. Something Stanley was known to resent.

He moved over a seat as Eddie gave an apologetic look at every one. Getting between Richie and Stanley tended to end in him being yelled at, so he rarely bothered anymore. Besides, he bickered with Richie more than anyone else so Stanley had no room to complain.

Richie glanced around the room realizing they had a missing loser. “Where’s Mike?”

“Bathroom,” Responded Beverly, still nursing her drink. “How was work, Eddie?”

“Fine, I guess.” The last thing he wanted to talk about, except his mother, was his boring job. “An econ student was hired as my intern, which makes me think I’ve finally made it.”

“Poor bastard is in for a world of ribbing by all your accounting co-workers,” said Richie, bumping Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie laughed, “Oh, I already made a joke at him today. Why do economists exist?” He scanned around the table then opened his mouth to answer.

Mike’s voice interrupted from the door of the private room, “So accountants have someone to laugh at.”

“Mike!” whined Eddie. “You stole my punch line.”

“Sorry, Eddie.” He took his seat between Beverly and Bill.

Stanley smirked, “You practiced that joke didn’t you.”

“Shut up,” Eddie groaned. “How was your trip, Ben?”

“Not the best,” Ben sighed, he wore a deprecating grin. No matter the story, Ben always had some kind of upturned smile, it was a unique quality. Considering most people told Eddie he had sad eyes, being able to smile at all times would be an excellent trait. “I didn’t leave early enough like I usually do because it was so early in the morning. I left my water bottle in the rental car they got me, then ran from TSA to the gate, was in my seat when I realized the sweater Bev got me for my birthday was back at security.”

Beverly rubbed his back soothingly, “We can get you new ones of both those things.”

“I know, it’s just a bummer because they were special items before I lost them.” Eddie understood. Ben and he shared the same mentality about their personal items, each thing they owned held a nice memory. He knew that the water bottle was one Ben got from his job after the big promotion, he could ask for another one but it wouldn’t be the same as the moment he received the gift. The feeling of pride and achievement all through a meaningless material item.

“Well, lucky for you, Ben.” Richie pulled out something from his bag, handing it across the table to Ben. “I had these made for everyone.” Richie continued grabbing water bottles from his bag, passing them around.

“This is so nice, Rich!” said Beverly. She laughed at the label. Eddie looked down at his seeing ‘#TeamBenverly’. It was great quality, a platted maroon paint covered the bottle with the lettering in a bold white.

“I still have the keychain you gave us for my bachelor party.” said Bill.

“That’s right!” Mike chimed in. “What does it say again?”

“Big Bill’s Bitchin’ Bachelor Bash.” Stanley drawled. “Kinda clever.”

Richie grabbed Eddie’s shoulder, making Eddie almost jump in confusion. He stared at Richie, who was clutching his heart in mock shock, “A compliment? I don’t think I can handle that from you, Stanley Urine.”

“I take it back,” said Stanley, “You don’t have any cleverness. Only idiocy.”

“Hmmmm, insults,” Richie leaned in front of Eddie, still holding his shoulder as his face got closer to an unamused Stanley. “They feed my very soul.”

Eddie placed his hand over Richie’s face and pushed him backward the metal of his glasses digging into Eddie’s hand, “Your soul has a healthy appetite then.”

“Oof, your words fill me up most, Eds.”

“Eds is a dumb nickname and you know it.”

“Alright, alright!” Mike called the attention toward him. “Let’s hear from Ben and Beverly. A decade of being together and now you’re tying the knot. How does it feel?”

Ben looked to Beverly, who smiled sweetly at him. “Feels perfect,” said Ben simply, but in those two words, he expressed years worth of working toward friendship and partnership that went beyond infatuation. “I’m so happy. And even happier to have my best friends around to celebrate.”

“This wedding is really about coming together,” started Beverly, “With our friends, the family we’ve chosen, to celebrate love. I think what we have with all of you is rare and...”

Eddie thought deeply about her phrasing ‘the family we’ve chosen’. He had many issues with his mother, different than Beverly’s father problems but they both came from toxic environments. Kindred spirits in a dark and twisted way.

With all his thoughts lately, he had pushed down how his mother would react. He may never tell her, if he could help it. Her religious views left no room for tolerance on the subject.

He shoved thinking about his mother deep in a box in his brain and focused on Beverly, who was still speaking, “...so just thank you for being there for us. Anyway, let’s fucking celebrate!”

They all cheered, Eddie looking around with a smile on his face. With his ‘chosen family’ he could trust them to love him no matter what.

As the night wore on with lots of laughs, food, and stories. Ben brought up the story of when he finally got the courage to ask out Beverly, “I was waiting outside of school, sweating profusely, despite wearing 2 sweaters…”

“You always wore so many layers!” said Bill laughing.

“Well, when you are fat and subconscious, that’s how you hide it.” Ben said, voice lowering a bit in embarrassment.

“Ben Handsome now shows off his true glory and beauty.” said Richie with a wink. “Just the way I like it.”

“Beep- beep, Richie.” Blushed Ben. “As I was saying, I waited outside and she approached me like in slow motion. I thought I was going to throw up. As I opened my mouth to say something she said,” He motioned for Beverly to continue the story.

She giggled, “I said, ‘Ben, let’s go to prom together’. His face drained of color and he passed out.” The whole room erupted in laughs. “I..I was knocked to the ground!” Beverly tried to say through gleeful tears, “He fell forward into me.”

“You were a very pleasant landing.” Ben smiled in mortification.

“You planning to faint at your wedding too?” said Stanley, “As your best man, I will need to prepare.”

“No, I’m not. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” said Richie. “I will have a fainting couch ready as a precaution.”

“You’ll probably just jump in front of Beverly and take one for the team,” piped Eddie.

“Speaking of the wedding,” Stanely rounded on Eddie and Richie. A dread bubbled in Eddie’s stomach. “You two having to bring dates is the smartest rule. I should have thought of that for my wedding.”

Richie threw his napkin at Stanley’s face, “Don’t make me take YOU as my date Stan the man.”

“You could never get this, Trashmouth.”

“I can get whoever I want. Right, Eds?”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie mumbled. “While we are on the subject, just so no one is surprised, I might bring someone who none of you would expect.” Eddie felt his knee being squeezed from under the table. It took him a moment to realize it was Richie’s hand, he was giving a warning. Most likely telling him to keep the details limited, but Eddie hoped it was a touch for encouragement.

“Please, don’t bring Myra.” said Mike making the group groan collectively.

“Now, that would be unexpected.” Richie snickered.

“Eddie, you’re not actually thinking…” said Bill seriously. “Beverly, if they get back together I blame you.”

“Me?!” Beverly opened her mouth to fight but Eddie interrupted.

“Hello! Back to me, losers. I am not bringing Myra. I am not even interested in women!” The words slipped out quick, and he wished they could be suctioned into his mouth once more.

They went quiet, as the news hit them. Mike was smiling at Eddie. He felt his bravery trickling into cowardice the longer none of them said anything.

“S-so does this mean,” began Bill. “That you-you’re g-“

“Gay? Yes, stuttering Bill.” Richie answered seeming to be frustrated by Bill’s condition for the first time in a long time. Then a chair screeched out and Beverly ran around the table, slamming herself into Eddie.

Her soft hair tickled his neck, his heart was calming down from her sudden show of affection. He placed a hand on the arm she slung over his chest. Richie’s hand hadn’t left his knee either. Everyone else’s reactions were fairly standard, awkward congratulations or they were proud of him, all expected. The surprising reaction was Stanley, perhaps because he didn’t react at all. He was silent for the rest of the evening.

As they all stood outside saying goodbyes, Stanley seemed to linger a little aways from Eddie. He waited for the rest to leave, Richie was the last to hug him and head to his car. He wandered toward Stanley hesitantly. The taller man was twisting his key in hand repetitively, tapping his foot methodically.

“So,” Eddie begun lightly, “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” answered Stanley stiffly. Eddie cocked his head to the side trying to meet his friend’s eyes, then gave up turning to leave. “How do you know?” Came his voice clearly from behind.

Eddie turned around, a few paces away. “Know what, Stan?”

“That you’re into guys.”

“Because I just do?”

“How long have you known?”

“Er...that’s more complicated. I mean I’ve been sitting on it for a month but..”

“A month?” interrupted Stanley, he was getting pink in the cheeks. “You’ve known a month and are coming out. That’s not enough time to know.”

“What’re you talking about?” Eddie was trying to keep his voice calm, he could feel that tingle of rage that surges in him when he feels attacked.

“Have you ever been with a guy?”

“What does that have to do with knowing whether I am gay? I know that every time I’ve thought of girls it hasn’t been the same as with guys. Or how with Myra...”

“Ok, yeah! Myra!” He rose his voice like winning some kind of twisted victory. “You were with her for a year and you really didn’t know?”

“Stan, you’re being a jackass.”

“I am trying to understand why you kept this from us?”

“From YOU, you mean? Stan, I didn’t keep it from anyone. I was figuring out my shit, then I talked about it with Mike and…”

“You told Mike first?”

“Um...no…” He caught himself quickly. “I told Richie first then Mike.”

A hurt flashed over Stanley’s eyes that Eddie hadn’t seen in years. “You told them before me?”

“Stan...come on. I told the rest of you at the same time. It was just easier to tell them at the time.”

“I’ve known you as long as Richie has. Much longer than Mike.”

“It’s not about that!” Eddie was at a loss. This was getting nowhere. “I don’t know what to say, Stan. I’m not going to apologize.”

“There is nothing to apologize for.”

“Then why are you fighting with me like there is?”

Stanley remained silent. His arguments lost on his tongue. “I am tired. I will talk to you later.” And he walked away. Eddie stood there, stomach twisting the food inside uncomfortably, eyes watery from the sadness creeping in his head.

_________

Thanks for the patience for the new chapter! Longer one cause I apparently had a lot to get through. I am starting a second job soon, but I will keep working on the next chapter as inspiration hits. Don't forget to subscribe!

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