#i try my best to atleast help those people in pain

[spiritual-messages]

~from your guides pac 🤍

Hey there

First of all i'd like to thank you all for showing so much love on my first reading .I appreciate all the feedbacks , likes and reblogs 🥺

Bless!

Here's the christmas pac im doing

So todays reading is all about messages and advice from your spirit guidesss .. (So those who don't know each and every person has a spirit guide that help them a guide them throughout this journey of life and you can have 1 or more spirit guides )

So before we start I want you to take a few deep breaths and center yourself .. Now pick a pile you are attracted to the most haha!

:) letsss take a moment to appreciate how beautiful all the pictures are

The pictures aren't mine and are taken from pinterest credit to the owners thank yaaa! Bless

Pile 1 ------ pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 1

Alright pileee oneee welcome to your reading

Current Energy :

Ahahaha .. So I heard " emotional healing " 👀 you guys are healers... I see alot of water and earth energy coming.. Wussup virgos and scorpios , heyaaa taurus hahaha alrghtieee so lets get it lets go..

So right now i see you guys healing .. Smth damaged you emotionally I see .. stop worrying about ppl who dont appreciate your care please don't cry becz of those stupid brats .. Why hurting yourself .. Thats not righttt ...

Message from your guides :

" I know that you are empathetic and I know that you can't see people in pain... You can't help but lend a hand to those in need .. Even if it emotionally drain you... But you need realise that some people are just energy suckers .. Vampires who drain you and leave you tired and overwhelmed. . you need to realise that your energy and well being

comes first .. You are not caring about your cup trying while to fill their's and that leaves you being exhausted .. Stressed and overwhelmed .. ( please stay away from energy vampires they mean no good and helping them isn't worthy at all becz they will be the same again they never learn pleasee watch out...) Dear one we cant even blame you becz you have an ability to attract all those unhealed souls ( scorpio moon energy) they are attracted to you becz you have so much power to heal others and to make others feel comfortable with you ( you might even have noticed that people get comfortable around way tooo quick and you might even have noticed them opening up to you way faster .. Letting you know all their secrets .. You might also feel other's pain as if they are ur own and you don't judge them .. Also you guys are masters in manifesting) but first heal yourself .. Watch out for such ppl who comes to you only when they are sad .. You have such positive aura around .. But you are letting those people kill your vibe don't do such stuff .. Focus on yourself.. Give time to yourself .. ( you might even leave all your work to listen to ppl who are sad you are so pure)"

Advice :

your guides are telling you to start being protective over your energy and be cautious about who you decide to pour this energy on.. Make sure that they learn and grow by your help.. If they are stuck even after helping to much just let them go .. Universe is fair to all .. Don't trust people that easily .. I also feel as if you guys helped someone with money and they aren't returning it ? And are even asking for more.. don't!👀 telling ya they lying about what they need that money for.. Dont invest in such ppl 👀 ... So if you have a question like " is this the truth " or anything else.. The answer is yes! Bless please make your friend circle smaller and cut out all the toxic ppl.. It will get lonely but trust me .. The journey will lead you to pure brightness

Thats all.. I wish you a very best future and advice you to meditate atleast 15 mins per day . cut out those vampiesss otherwise they will continue to make you feel overwhelmed. . invest your energy in ppl who are worthy of that

Bless ❤️

Pile 2

Current energy :

Alrightie pile 2 welcome to your readinghhhh Uffff so heavy energy here.. I feel as if im stuck somewhere and am unable to move .. Oh my god guys are you alright ? chin up you got this alright! Dont give upppp... Guys i see your are dealing with family issues .. I see conflicts and abusive family (that's sad.. ) so for some of you I see that you wanna move out and wanna be separated from your family and for others I see your family causing trouble in your relationship ..

Message from your guides :

" my dear I know what you have been through .. I know that they never supported you and gave you love like other parents did to their children. . I know that you never showed that it hurted you but deep inside you wish to have a cute loving family .. I know you just want someone to call a family and one to embrace when nights get colder.. One to support you when you are broken and one to pour all your love on .. Its okay love .. Be positive and move .. Have faith on us on universe .. You'll be able to achieve a great family in future .. We are sending a soulmate into your life who can love and cherish you and give you all the precious things you deserve .. Stay strong . we know you feel stuck and often feel like you cant get outta this situation but thats no truth.. Trust the universe.. Transformation will occur.. And things will change.. You'll get all the money you ever wanted to get you life in balance and get a love who will hug you so tight that all those broken pieces of your heart will stick right back ( guys for some of you I feel like someone in your family do drugs and have unhealthy addiction .. And that person cause chaos .. Your inner child is completely traumatised... please have faith .. I wish everything best for you .. You are too precious ) I know that your family doesnt value your opinions and you often feel controlled and manipulated. . but soon there will be someone who will help you.till then help yourself. And move .. You can create a life that you want and you will .. Have faith on yourself!"

Advice :

All right .. Your guides are telling you to trust the universe and be positive .. Dont give up and try to cheer urself up by positive affirmation. . they are telling you to notice the signs they are sending you " 222 , 111 ,555 and 2222" very soon a transformation will occur that will change your life .. I see a soulmate coming in your life .. For some of you this will be your future spouse .. They will help you to get outta all this dumb shit created by your family .. And will heal you till then make decisions and be determined have faith u got this done... Let's go so proud of you you did greattt job

I wish you all the best

Bless ❤️

Pile 3

Energy:

Alrightie pile threeh welcome to your reading 😂 haha .. So so soo i see alot going on .. I see that someone from your past is coming back into your life .. Possibly an ex ? Someone whom you cutted all the cords with.. .. I see you guys rn in a healthy relationship or living a great life .. But this past person steps in and the chaos begins ( well fuck past and fuck maths thats what I was used to say when I was a teenager )

Message from your guides :

" .. The lights thats around you .. Is coming from yourself .. Thats because you are positive ans you have to let that light shine within yourself.. Dont let past come back. . remember all the lessons you learnt .. Trust that once a cheater will always be a cheater .. You worked hard to build what you are to day .. Dont let some cheap chipmunks destroy that progress .. They must have realised how good you were but trust it they just want you for what you are today ans will continue to hurt you again . dont let people use you .. ( lets go girl/ boi you are the baddest bitch .. You got it!! Go walk all over him/her .. Let that punk rub his nose on the ground for you .. Fucking spit on his wreakass ugly face .. Dont let that rotten fish destroy your future fuck ittt!!) Remember why you choosed to move on .. And now you have new opportunities waiting for you so get it "

Advice :

I heard " beat that ass up bitch go beattt that ass like damn" damn you are kicking asses i see wooho cheers to my pile three damn im smiling proudly.

Okay so lemme calm my damn self down and continue the reading bruh 😂 so your guides are advising you to kick ass well not really ( well good idea ah mhmhmmm ) well they are telling you not to look back because I see you have manifested a soulmate .. And if you aew in a toxic relationships break up just go free yourself from that shit .. Work on yourself and be proud of you have achieved pat yourself on the backs ❤️ if you are in a relationship which is healthy and someone from past came back just kick that past person out .. Becz you are or will be in a relationship with your soulmate thats healthy .. Just go ittt rhrrrrr

Bless !

so I hope it resonates thank you .. I wish you a great future and an awesome day ... Remember that you are the creator of your damn reality and you fucking know how to handle that power .. So chin up .. You rock this shit .. Keep grinding ( i caught you u naughty little not that grinding you dirtyminded bitch)

Lemme know what pile you picked haha and this is a general reading so take what resonates and let other shit flow off

Feedbacks are appreciated ❤️ so much grateful for the love you showed on my last reading 🥺 thank youuu

Bless bahhhbayeee

#tarot reading #tarot related #tarotdaily #pick a pile reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a group #daily tarot #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #christmas #special #spiritualhealing #spirituality #spiritualgrowth #pick a photo #free readings #Spotify #SoundCloud

[little-nugget-writes-stufff]

Okay this is part 2 of

If only we could spend more time together,

Our beloved creator~

Its been quite a while since your return to your own world. Its been nice being back with your friends and family (and not being hunted down) but for a while you stopped playing genshin.

Everyone on the tevyat had gotten used to it by now, you abandonned them, and they deserved it. They killed you and your friend. Or at least so they thought. But slowly you started missing playing the game, so you thought why not start again? I mean what harm could it cause?

And the people were overjoyed! Your divine gaze was watching them again! Usually you'd speak to them but you kept quiet. But you ofcourse didn't forget what they did. So instead of your sweet voice speaking about all it could think about. It turned cold and most of the time silent. It scared the acolythes to hear you warn them to not bring your there again. now ofcourse you didn't mean that but you didn't wanna feel the pain of being stabbed once again. But slowly with time you started to talk again (only to those who did not cause harm) (and yes reader used to speak to the characters about whatever your brain could think of) wich caused a little bit of rivalry between the people. I mean why would you not speak to the people you always had held so close?

One day your friend storms into your room with a beautiful letter in their hand, saying your name was on it. Wait why did you have a letter- why not sent a text. As you open it and read the letter

Hello divine creator

I know you wont forget all what we did, but we all miss ur beautiful voice blessing our ears when hearing it. Better said we miss all of you. We are begging for you to return and give us another chance to make things better and to face whatever punishment you have in mind. I did this without the others knowing of my actions so please do not punish them for my little stunt

-nahida

You look at the paper in horror. How did they do that. But hold up nahida did this? She didn't do anything? But that was also a problem. Even the people that didn't try and hunt you down, they did nothing to stop them. They just left you to rot alone. "(Nickname) whats with that look? Let me see that"

You see their expression change from happy to a one full of shock. "Y/n what are you gonna do with this" yet you did not hear this. What are you gonna do, do they have the power to forcefully get you there, what if you do go what would happen- "Y/N!" You snap out of your thoughts and see your friend. "What am i gonna do (friends name)?!" "Wait if they could hear my voice then i might be able to-

"y/n if they all hear your voice when speaking it would be impossible to speak in private with the person that wrote it"

Oh shit they were right. If they all heard your voice then how would you speak with nahida about the letter. "What if i went back in secret? Wait no then they could think im an imposter again"

"what if we change your look?"

"sounds good i guess but-"

You cut yourself off when seeing a green light appear in front of you.

They had to. The people were going crazy because of them not being spoken to. Or atleast the ones that were not spoken to. Nahida only tried doing the best for them and reach out to you.

You start walking backwards from the light until hearing Nahida's soft voice.

"Hello divine one, im so sorry for bothering you and i know you dont want anything to do with tevyat and the people that hurt you but ever since you only speak to the ones that didn't harm you its broke out in utter chaos between the people. Im only asking for your help this time and then you can go back. I promise we wont bother you after that".

You were in shock. Chaos? Because of you? You started to feel guilty because of it.

"i will fix what i cause and then get back, do we have a deal?". Your friend looks at you in shock. "Are you really gonna risk it?" You turn to your friend "if i truly caused that then it would also be my duty to solve it wouldnt it?" Your friends nods.

"Okay are you ready?"

"yes"

AAAAND THATS IT FOR THIS PART :D

#genshin sagau #genshin impact #SAGAU #Genshin nahida

[karrenseely]

Emotional Regulation

So I have CPTSD. Everything I've read mostly points to this being a lifelong condition (yay :P) that is incredibly difficult for all of us whom suffer from it. I know it has been for me. I honestly don't know if I'd have developed it if my parents had been loving, supportive, and understanding like they should have. Because, even if they had been, I would still have likely had many many years of gas lighting from society, them, and my extended family to be a gender other than what I was. And that takes its toll on anyone's psyche.

But who knows, maybe if they'd been really supportive, then I wouldn't have had years of thinking I was crazy or shameful, maybe I would have transitioned really young as soon as I could tell them they were wrong. Then all I'd have to deal with is some body dysphoria. But then even that can take its toll as well. So I really couldn't say if I was destined to have this incredibly difficult mental health condition or not.

Either way, I really wish I'd had the loving supportive family every child deserves. I really wish I didn't find my psyche shattering as I grew up, getting stuck repeatedly at every traumatic event that I can remember, and actively forgetting everything I couldn't along with most of my other memories. Such that now, my memories consist of shattered disorganized shards scattered over the floor, most of those shards long since missing. It's really difficult to live when all you really have is now.

People talk about their childhoods like there's this linear well established timeline in their memories. It was a long time before I realized this was the typical way people remember their past. That for most people, they can remember approximately when such a memory occurred, in sequence with another. Even now, this is so foreign to me. I remember things in disjointed pieces, any one memory is not connected to any other. And few, if any, are connected to a specific time that I can locate.

Then there is the ability to remember what you did yesterday, or last week, or even last month in day to day life. That it's hard to know what's happened and what's been done recently. This was particularly bad when I was dissociating all the time, fortunately, therapy has helped with that part, and I don't do it as much and I can remember more of my day to day life. But even now, there are still significant holes in my memories of adult life. And admittedly as I struggle through my current flare of CPTSD symptoms, I sometimes wish I could dissociate like I used to so that I don't have to feel all of this horrible stuff. It hurts like hell.

If someone created the universe, they must be one of the most sadistic assholes to have ever existed, making it so healing is so effing painful, much less making thinking feeling beings feed off of one another.

In this journey of trying to heal, I've encountered many people talking about how, when we were abused as children we didn't develop our emotional regulation skills like normal loved, unabused kids do. I always found these comments or suppositions confusing. In large part due to the fact that I don't really understand what emotional regulation means. As a child, trying to survive, the only thing that worked, that made things even remotely bearable was dampening down on emotions until I didn't feel hardly anything at all. I wasn't particularly good at this, I still had feelings but they were distorted hazy half hearted things that would escape out, usually as anger, irritability, sadness, often fear, sometimes even joy would get out. But none were fully formed, or fully embraced, because if I did, then the pain would be in full force, the shame, the horror I constantly felt at what I was going through. So I did my best to damp down my emotions to almost nothing, and dissociate as much as I could so that I didn't have to feel or atleast remember feeling all those horrible things I felt. And the plus side to dissociation is that you truly only live in the moment. You can forget so much that way. You can ride the bus to school, but not remember any of it, just one moment you're at home and the next, poof, you're at school, and the next, poof, it's time to go home again and get on the bus, and poof the next you're at home again... you get the idea.

Emotions when all of the above were unsuccessful and I felt them anyway, usually it was the really really bad ones. And they were felt at 120% full blast. It was either 10 mph, or 120 mph. No inbetween. But people who talk about the ability to regulate emotions describe it as having inbetweens. Not having to feel the full blast, but not suppressing it completely either.

For the longest time when I encountered that phrase around emotional regulation, my mind just skittered past it, as it didn't make any sense to me. But I found myself thinking about it a couple months ago. And some kind fellow people with CPTSD pointed me to links that helped to explain the concept... except, those links were mostly just confusing. And unfortunately, my brain interpreted them as, "you are deficient, you're inability to regulate is your fault." Which didn't help. I honestly don't know if those explanations actually implied that, but it's what it felt like. Maybe because I didn't understand what they were saying.

Then... recently I returned to work, full time. And an interesting, if sucky, thing happened. I was fine at work, I could joke, I could laugh and have fun with coworkers and feel empathy for my patients and basically function somewhat like a typical human being in what I imagine is a healthy fashion. But as soon as I left work and went home, I had no energy left to keep the intrusive memories and emotions in check. And I would immediately start to crash. Spiraling down the rabbit hole of all those horrible memories. Nothing had specifically triggered them, it's just I ran out of spoons and they took over. I'd used up all my spoons at work.

Obviously, I'd overestimated my ability to return to full time work, but also it felt like there was an insight here. And it came down to my emotional bandwidth. If I had enough emotional energy, enough spoons, then minor triggers that normally would have lead me back down that lovely negative spiral, wouldn't actually set me off, and I could continue to function. And this was the neat part, I could continue to function without having all my walls slam down and turn everything numb. But, if I run out of that energy, if I run out of those spoons, then any little thing can set me down that self destructive spiral.

And the more I've thought about this, the more I think this is what people mean when they talk about emotional regulation. That most people have a large fount of this emotional energy to buffer against the extremes. And thus can handle day to day joys, stresses and hurtful things without completely falling apart. If this is the case then I guess I've developed some emotional regulation after all, though it's limited.

But why is it so limited? Why didn't I have any before? And the more I look at it. I see it in terms of bandwidth, energy, and/or spoons. Before, when I was having to live in survival mode, all of my emotional energy was being used to just survive. I was constantly in fight or flight. There was no energy to spare for nuance. My bandwidth was incredibly limited because so much of it was taken up with just surviving from one day to the next, with constant vigilance. But when we are no longer in those situations, and just as importantly, when we are not constantly flashing back to those situations, we start to have that bandwidth become available for the nuance. We can start feeling things in between because we have the energy to do so. It's no longer entirely about survive or die.

And that's the worst part about flashbacks. Even though I'm no longer in that constant life or death situation, those flashbacks have me believing I am. And contrary to popular media's depiction of flashbacks, most of the time it's not getting stuck in a living visual memory of an event. No, the vast majority of those flashbacks are emotional flashbacks. Getting stuck in the feelings of the event, the feelings I couldn't suppress anymore, the constant feeling of being in danger, of having my life, my very existence threatened, which brings on the constant sense of danger, of fight or flight. Which means, no emotional energy for anything else, except the extremes. Everything in my life currently can be perfectly fine, safe, wonderful even. But if I'm stuck in an emotional flashback, none of the current circumstances matter, because I'm emotionally back in survival mode, feeling constantly threatened, trying to survive, trying to decide if I need to fight or run. And if I'm stuck there... then there isn't any emotional energy left for anything else.

The really effing sucky part, is that often I don't know I'm in an emotional flashback until after it's gone away, and I can see looking back that how I was feeling didn't fit at all with what was actually happening at the time. I reacted to an outside observer in a rather extreme, or worse in a completely irrational manner. But then when I'm in the middle of it, I guess it's understandable that I have a hard time recognizing it, as all my energy is directed towards surviving, towards keeping the pain and my fears at bay.

So maybe emotional regulation is just having enough emotional energy to filter the experiences you're having into a much more nuanced pattern, rather than having to sort things into binary extremes of bad, not bad. And if that's the case, then maybe, just maybe, I am healing, because I'm starting to free up some of my bandwidth to start sorting out the nuances... even if I can't quite identify what those nuances are yet.

#trans #transgender #lgbt+ #lgbtqia #lgbt #trans kids #childhood trauma #complex ptsd #trauma #family #Emotional regulation #mental health #coping #emotional flashbacks #flashbacks #emotional energy #emotional bandwidth #lgbtqia+ #queer

[shy-the-schizophrenic]

My Last Letter To You.

Kris,

I'm writing you this letter so I can have closure and say everything I need to say before I block you. I don't understand how you honestly can do this to me. To us. You were given another chance. You promised you wouldn't hurt me again. You wouldn't drink. And look at you. You can't help yourself anymore. And your piece of shit coworkers are just that. Pieces of shit. You lied to me. You blew off a night falling asleep with me to go get drunk with your coworkers. Your female coworkers. You lied. Once again. You can never be trusted, you've proven that to me. The one alcohol slip up, okay. But tonight? There was no reason. You chose alcohol over the beautiful love and life we could have had together. You told me to kill myself. Deny it all you want but I will never forget. You made fun of me for crying about you being with girls. You're a heartless man who spits venomous words at people he loves. Atleast tonight you didn't deny your love for me. Well kris. You killed my love for you. You proved to be like every other man in my life. You abused me. You're a drunk. It's disgusting. You're disgusting. I'm disgusted with you. I was disappointed, hurt, confused. No more. I know now that this is who you are. And who you are isn't deserving of me. I'm an amazing person. I've made mistakes but I'm a good person. I don't go out of my way to hurt people. I keep to myself. I continously work on my shortcomings. I saw a bright future for us. But now your future, I see it falling apart. You're going to lose your kids all over again and drink yourself into oblivion. Or you'll end up in jail. You're going to lose everything you've ever cared about just because you wanted to get drunk with some hot girls when you could have been with me. You think those girls are going to be there for you when you lose it all? No. Neither will I. I told you, you could come to me when you feel like drinking. When you felt low. Don't. I don't want any part of your life that you're choosing to ruin. I want nothing to do with you. You broke my heart for the last time. Only my ex fiance got that many chances. And I will not end up that girl I was with him. That will never be me. I should have seen your red flags. Your constant need to lie. How deep your alcoholism goes. I wish I did before I fell for you. But it's okay. Because you aren't feeling this right now like I am. And by the time you realize how low in life you are by losing me and choosing to go back to drinking, I will be fully over you and you won't even cross my mind. I will be free and you will be wracked in guilt and full of sorrow because your life will be empty all over again. And you can try to replace me. You never will. No girl will ever amount to me and the love I bore for you. I would have died for you. I would have done anything for you and you killed us. You killed my love and you will never revive it. I hope you feel every little bit of pain you've made me feel over the past couple months with your abuse when you wake up. I hope you realize what you've lost. Because it's absolutely too late. I'll tell you goodbye but you will never hear I love you. I won't give you that. You'll occupy my mind for a while. And it will kill me not to text you. But I'll be fine soon. I'll find joy in life again while you spiral downwards and for that I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve it. You have a kind heart but your demons have eaten you alive and it's so sad to see. This is why I never date addicts or alcoholics. Because I know one day they will relapse and I will have to watch them put their drug of choice ahead of me and everything they care about. I won't watch you waste away kris. I can't. I hope you get better. I don't see that happening at this point though. You don't want the help. You don't care about anything. You don't even love your children enough to stay away from alcohol. They deserve a better dad that and I deserve a better lover than you. Best wishes kris. Goodbye forever.

[azure-cherie]

Ohhh heyyyaaa babee!!! I jst saw that you opened free readings 🥂😩 sorry I hv been quite bsy these past few days n probably will for atleast a year, anyway...

My initials: SM ✨♈ sun (tro) ♓ sun(sid)

Fav emojis: 🤡💀👀✨🥺🌝🥂

Fav quotes: He'll never know how much a girl once loved him, after every dark night there's a bright day, After heavy rain there comes fiery sun, I CAN is 100 times better than I will.

Ques: channeled letter from my future spouse 🕳️👩‍🦯with shufflemacy songs👀

Exchange: what you need to know ryt now?

Focus on your present time. It's time to focus on yourself, your personal growth, and your surrounding. Cut off toxic people, habits n situations to lead a smooth life in future. Learn to stand for yourself. You hv overcome some pain from the past , the storm has ended n now it's time to assess where to go from here. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off n stand towards your growth. It's time to make a lil change in your life to lead a smooth life further. Don't rush things, be calm n work towards your destination with calm pace. If the past wasn't good enough for ya, now it's the time with full of support n stability to edge out your sadness. Be patient n take help from your closed ones. You hv many true supporters around you. Ask for help from them. You maybe daydreaming a lot lately. Maybe feeling a need to escape your reality with the help of your imagination but this time you need to make those dreams come true... Work towards them n stop wasting your time. Try to develop your spiritual side as much as you can. Focus on what you do best n be patient. Success will be yours. You hv learnt many things from your past n now it's time to make use of those learnt things. Liberation! Get higher studies n focus on yourself. Take care of yourself, do self care n introspection.

Thankyou so much n lemme know if it resonates<3🤍✨

Hello sweetheart ,

Do I tell you enough that you're one of my favourite people on Tumblr 🤍🤍. Why are you sorry i am so happy you're working on things which are necessary , all the best to you , your success is on the way babe .

You're quotes are beautiful.

Thank you so much for the exchange 💗✨ , i absolutely adore you for this 🤍.

Yes recently maybe because of mercury retrograde i cut off a lot of people , i am glad the storm has ended , yes right now i am focusing on loving myself more and doing things i desire . I will surely take help from the people around me , i have a few people but they're worth so much to me . I will be calm. I'm kind of in my imagination sometimes . I will really work to develop my spiritual side. Okay I have to be really patient and calm and keep working . I really plan on getting higher studies . I think you channelled my mother 🤡 she keeps tellin me all this.

Thank you so much it resonates , you're amazing and thank you for the songs , I'll listen to them . 🥰💗🦋✨

So babe it's your turn now , although I am impatient to write so much , but I believe in giving more and this exchange deserves some effort 😤🥰 so i meditated and here's what I received from the higher self of your future spouse :

I was about to write " I " as the initial of your future spouse 👀 . I've seen in the t.v ........ Line is from " Don't you ever leave me , song by Anne Marie " and Moses my soul my friend...... Are lines from the poem Currency by Rumi

I say this is one of the most beautiful things I've channelled !!!

Your songs :

Hope you like it love 🤍.

#intuitive readings #ssensy

[n0resistance]

Jersey

The other day someone asked what’s the vibe of New Jersey?

 I couldn’t answer it properly. Being from there and running away as soon as I graduated Highschool marks me moving out almost 16 years ago. It was so hard as a teenager. 

   My single dad had two jobs and didn’t know how to be domestic. What so ever. He was trying; and it really counted to have a parent stick around no matter how difficult everything around him was. We had to help him and slowly he learned how to use a crockpot, iron, and go buy me tampons because I was too embarrassed the day I got my period. 

   He’s polish & czech. The two most unemotional cultures I’ve ever seen. But they’re solid. And show love through god, smiles, their openness, and food & probably beer. 

    Those were my parents. Night and Day, Hot and Cold, Loud and quiet. For sure Filipino and American. 

    Other than the quietness of suburban life New Jersey. Growing up with the same people & having nothing to do. Is something I’ve quite missed since I’ve lived in the city this long.  I was a dorky girl back then. Sure I wore Abercrombie and fitch, uggs, and made my parent buy me a northface backpack. Sure I got a name plate that my dad was so resistant to buying me. I of course got tips on my nails, but gladly never did it again,because I couldn’t open my locker. 

    The best thing that happened from sp was that I have friends in my life I’ve known since kindergarten. 

    We don’t have a bar, you have to get Asian food in Edison, and most people that are my age have more than one child. Not all just most. 

    Unfortunately, I hope it subsided but there are the cool kids. Kids who’s parents let them have parties in their houses. They’re cool and do drugs. But some of the cool kids don’t come back from it, a very much a sad road.

     You are your friends’ and it’s a small town where you can really choose your destiny by choosing them. I was friends with everyone. So I almost went down so many wrong paths. Atleast I weened it out and found the right ones before getting out. 

    You’re insecure. Especially when your mom just died and you’re trying to be the perfect daughter because you want so badly for things to be normal. You have ADHD and getting good grades is a nightmare because you can’t focus enough to study. The only thing you can focus on is watching tv and escaping. So you join volleyball and you’re really terrible but you commit. And even if your team is bad something happens to you when you’re the girl who doesn’t miss one game or practice. So I really thank that, my smart friends, and leaving because at that moment in my life I was going through so much pain I needed to try my best to forget and create a good life. 

    But for this vibe, if I’m gonna be positive. I had a beautiful large house and was near all my family, I went to school on tax dollars and did sports, I had air quality and pleasures of doing nothing, you have room to look up at the sky and watch airplanes or see the moon, there are hikes, and to be honest, I could only have a different bond with people from NJ. Because for me who else could understand me better? But there are traits they have that need to subside. Which will probably only happen through getting out of jersey. Even if it’s just once in a while.

[dear-c--inlove-p]

Dear C.

This is going to be a continuation from my last letter and if u can’t or want to read that it’s completely fine, i still and always will wish u the best of luck and hope that your life turns out great.

I don’t feel like I heal, I realized a lot of things that went wrong but I feel mostly like I’m constantly burned alive with pain and regret. I know everyone heals differently and everyone needs another amount of time for it, but it feels like I’m going deeper into the abyss. I feel like I lost my life and am just a spectator viewing over a broken wreck, I lost the love of my life, the person guiding me into the light each day when the sun vanished over the horizon, I lost my best friend that I could always Laugh and joke with, and I lost the person that meant more to me than anything else.. I know I could try and atleast save my friend.. but I can’t it wouldn’t be healthy for me and it wouldn’t be the same anymore. Yesterday I had to make another hole for my belt again, I’m lucky our weight scale is broken and if that keeps up I can probably just admit my self to the hospital. My heart is gone and it feels empty and sad but luckily it will always stay with you and give u everything I had no matter what situation you are in. I’m pathetic and I know that, I’m just glad you are pulling your self together and finding new people and slowly moving on with your life I’m really happy for you. I really hope that you live your life to the fullest so that u can one day look back at it and say you are proud of what you achieved. I wish you the best of luck with understanding men and how to spot which ones to keep and which ones just wanna use you.. I will always love you C. No matter how much time passes, but like I said.. my time in your chapter is over.. in the grand scheme of things I’ll only be a side character that will be forgotten just to help you progress through the story, but I can’t complain about that.. I was happy to atleast feel your love for me and all the things u gave me.. even if I’ll always cry looking back at those.. I’m atleast found solace being in your life for this brief time….

Farewell C. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey

For always in Love,

P.

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #bangchan smut #skz chan smut #bang chan imagines #chan fluff #bangchan #skz chan x reader

[krismasarson]

This is where I'm going to explain my Lycan!Heisenberg Headcanons because they deserve to be shared. I will say now that this is all that I have so far but as soon as I get more idea they will be shared!

Physical Attributes

Physically, He does not have ears or a tail as Lycans and Werewolves are two VERY different things. But he will have a much more noticeable amount of body and facial hair.

I connect this with his long hair as well and I like to think that once it gets to be lower than his shoulders is when he chops it off. And when I say chops it I off I mean literally. He takes a peice of sharp scrap metal and just slices through this hair. And then just moves on with his day.

In terms of body and facial hair tho- I don't really think he really started to trim and keep it under control until he really started to trust and gain feelings for you.

Like I'm talkin an ABSURD amount of chest hair, facial hair, armpit hair, and his intimate areas. It's not that it wasn't uncomfortable or annoying to him. He just never really had any real reason to waste time on it when he could be working on his experiments. But then when you came around, he started to genuinely care about how he presented himself.

But I will say, that this man knows absolutely nothing about shaving. So the first time he asked you to teach him how to or atleast be there to try to help him learn was honestly the most wholesome thing ever

Lycan Mentality

He has some, what he calls, Feral episodes. It's basically just him getting overly territorial and all around just growling, snarling, and snapping at people. This almost only happens when the situation has anything to do with you possibly getting hurt, when he is a bit paranoid, or even when you yourself aren't in the best of places mentally.

He will also have what he calls Werewolf Menstrual Cycles but in all reality it's basically just a Lycans heat cycle. No blood or any intense physical pain. Just a large man who is going to be overly emotional, very temperamental (with everyone except you of course-), and all in all just REALLY Horny with Mating Cramps.

On the overly emotional and temperamental side of things, he will be very sensitive to really anything and basically just be a moody man who is very easily threatened by anyone that comes within 3 feet of you. His instincts are basically telling him to protect you at all costs and if anyone makes skin to skin contact with you. There's no easy way to say this... that person is probably gonna end up leaving with scars they didn't arrive with.

But that's only if you aren't able to pull Karl away and back to the nest before he can even think about what he's gonna do to this poor bastard that just tried to steal his mate away from him.

And if you do successfully pull him away and back to the nest. Be warned, that's more than just you pulling him away to stop him from hurting someone. In the state of mind he is in and with his hormones completely wacked, his animalistic instincts are going to take that as you, his mate, pulling him away because you are getting needy and... let's just say he has his priorities straight because the minute he realizes you are leading him toward the nest weeeeeell- I'll just say that the instincts take over and we will leave it at that.

And on top of being basically just a grown a*s man with more hormones than a teenage boy, hes just really wanting to do what his instincts are telling him to and that's to "Protect mate. Care for mate. Stay with mate. Breed mate." And that's basically just on repeat in his head for the remainder of the week. (Oh and I forgot to mention it is not monthly! It is once every 3 to 4 months at the least. Sometimes it can happen once every 6 months it really all depends on his mental health and well-being)

Nests

I've already mentioned "Nests" in a previous post and basically what those are is a small room (typically big enough to fit a king size mattress but a queen works just fine) that is filled with pillows, blankets, animal pelts, and basically just as many soft things that can fit in their while still being able to fit the Lycan and their mate, as well as leaving room for intimate interactions.

The nest is both a safe place for the lycan as well as their own den in a way. It's somewhere they are able to feel safe and comfortable both when their mate is and isn't around. The nest will typically be drenched in the smell of both the lycan and their mates scent making it the ideal place for both members in the relationship.

It is also a place for the lycan to bring and store gifts that they have given to their mate. The gifts serve as both a way of courting and expressing love. Both lycans and mates can give and receive gifts though typically the more dominant of the 2 is the one who will court the other. Whether it is during heats or not, the dominant party is more than willing to court the other by whatever means.

#lord heisenberg #daddy heisenberg #resident evil headcanons #heisenberg x reader #heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg x y/n #karl heisenberg #re8 karl heisenberg #resident evil karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg headcanons #re8 heisenberg #re8 headcanons #resident evil village #resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil fanfic #resident evil 8 headcanons #resident evil 8 karl heisenberg #resident evil heisenberg

[twsted-simp-writer]

Hello and welcome back! May I request hcs for dormleaders with a s/o who wears shades a lot till' they found out that everyone in their middle school wanted to gouge their beautiful eyes out beacuse some are jealous or wanting to sell it to the market? Thank u!

(Yes I am referencing the eys from Gojo from JJK)

I haven't really watched Jujutsu Kaisen (tho I watched sukuna and gojo scenes in YT) but I already know Gojo and Sukuna, seeing the thirst tweets on Twitter back then. I plan on watching it once it's totally finished. (But seriously Gojo’s eyes are so pretty) Thank you for the request and I hope you like this!~

Dorm Leader Headcanons

Riddle Rosehearts

He'll had to admit. The first time he met you, he almost chop off your head for wearing those shades all day. Even at night, much to his utter disbelief. Being the strict abide-to-the-rules person he was back then, he ordered you to take them off. Seeing those eyes had startled him for dear life.

This was the time he finds out everything you've been through because of those eyes. Constantly in danger for people in your school who might possibly attack you. The redhead was upset as you predicted. You further explained more about your eyes and how those shades affect your vision.

Riddle quietly observed you. How come you are so strong despite all the pain you have been through? The redhead held your hands and pecked your lips.

Even himself was flustered with his own actions, he wasn't really good at expressing his feelings for you but he'll try his best. Seeing how he was doing his own way of comforting someone, you giggled at the cuteness of your boyfriend.

"I'm not strong physically but with my magic, I'll make sure those who have ill intensions towards you will have their heads cut off."

Leona Kingscholar

This lion never spoke a word about it as he respects your space. Until you decided to open it up to him. That sunglasses didn't really bothered him the slightest except when he discovered you even wear it in the dark especially at night much to his chagrin.

Can you even see in that especially in the dark? He'll just huff at the idea that popped in his mind. It is definitely impossible for a human like you to see clearly in the dark.

When he thought you were just an odd herbivore, he was taken aback when you suddenly opened up your past and explained more about your eyes.  Both of you were lying down his bed cuddling, when he crawled atop of you stopping you from your story.

As he held your face, both staring into each others eyes for a moment. Leona's face was blank yet so many emotions are going through his eyes. Yet you recognize anger, worry and fear. Knowing many thoughts were running in his head, you lean your face close and your lips met with his and that calm his mind. Leona's body became relaxed as he bury his face to the side of your neck.

"I may not always be beside you, but just call my name. I'll be sure to be there."

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul merely shook his head at how violent land dwellers were. He have heard stories of how humans can be cruel ever since he was small. But to think you were a target just because of your eyes is what made him distraught. Your boyfriend silently hugged you from behind as he thought of the possibilities of you being targeted once more but here in Twisted-Wonderland.

He would suggest you to have a contract with him to hide the true appearance of your eyes. In exchange of it, you will have to spend your entire life with him. He offered this, his cheeks bright pink and shaky voice.

You let a little laugh at what your lover what implying. Pecking his lips, you held his hands and stare at his bluish-gray eyes.

"Darling, I would love the thought but that will not change the effect of how I see the world. I would also love to spend the rest of my life with you but marriage can wait."

Azul had a huge smile as he peppered your neck with kisses. If ever someone planned on laying a hand on you, your lover will certainly pay them a visit with the twins. In the end, he would suggest to you to atleast have Jade and Floyd near you at all times to which you rejected.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim would be that type of person who is very vocal of things. He would bug you about why you wore shades all the time. Upon catching a glimpse of your eyes, he was stunned. This soft boy loves complimenting your eyes despite not knowing the story behind those. Learning how others wanted to take your eyes just for their own benefit or out of jealousy, he'll shower you with lots of attention and affection.

Kalim is the type of person who'll empathize with someone who has experience things he himself didn't.  He'll even apologize even if it wasn't his fault.

This boy would even cry for you which made you comfort him and tell he shouldn't feel responsible.  There were times you thought he was too good that others may use this against him.

The next day,  a stressed out Jamil will approach you to question why Kalim suddenly wanted to buy lots of shades. Hearing this you immediately run to find your boyfriend to stop him.

"They say jewels and gold are have far more worth but for me, your worth is more that those things."

Vil Schoenheit

Vil thought those shades was just part of your fashion and it looked good on you. It may have startled him before, that you wore it the whole time until Rook pointed it out to him.

He loves putting different shades of eyeshadows that compliments your eyes. It didn't help that your boyfriend will stare heatedly at yours, making you feel shy.

After hearing what you've been though back in your world, he understood how it is to be envied by others for something they don't have nor feel threatened by someone. But to the point of wanting their eyes out of jealousy or to sell them?

The thought of his s/o being in danger back then all because of their eyes, he felt sick and disgusted. Who in the world would gouge out someone's eyes? (cougheyesonmecough). Vil would then press on to know if there are ever people following you lately. To which you reassured no one was.

Also being aware on how the sunglasses affects your vision, your lover made sure to tag you along to buy different kinds that will fit to your outfits. You just let yourself be dragged by your boyfriend seeing how fired up he was when it comes to fashion and makeup.

Idia Shroud

At the beginning, Idia was creeped out when you wore shades all the time. Be it during History class, Physical Education, even Alchemy (much to Crewel's dismay).  Upon discovering your eyes, he was fascinated by them.

When he find out how people back in your middle school wanted your eyes just to sell them for their own profit made this lovable boyfriend of yours speechless at human greed. He would literally made a special glasses just to hide your unique eyes.

A small part of him was guilty that he felt like he didn't deserve someone like you. But hearing your story, a surge of determination overcame him.

You tried to convince him that he doesn't need to build one for him, but he was already gone by the time Ortho told you.

Much to your surprise, the glasses let you see normally than you usually would whenever you don't have your shades.

Idia would explain to you the other functions it can do and the precautions. He even handed you the contacts just in case. Moved by the efforts of your usual gloomy boyfriend who is now , you happily kissed your boyfriend who suddenly turned into a blabbering mess at the sudden kiss.

"I may not be so reliable but I'll make sure to protect you from the shadows..."

Malleus Draconia

Your eyes is what made a lasting impression for Malleus. It was as if those eyes could swallow his whole being despite you being a human. Hearing this all from you, he wasn't surprise that your fellow humans would try to gouge out your eyes. Humans are fickle and easily swayed by their desires. Jealousy was an ugly thing.

Caressing your cheek, he kissed both of your eyelids as he spoke. "When I am here, no one will dare to hurt you. If they ever do, they will have to suffer my wrath."

Seeing your lover was emitting dark aura, you immediately hugged his waist and reassured that was in the past. Many thoughts ran through this fae as he wanted to ease your burden. When he offered that he might find a way to make your eyes normal, you rejected it.

He didn't have to go through so much length just to change your eyes. As much as it was hell for you but thanks to these eyes, you met many friends here in Twisted Wonderland.

Malleus merely shook his head. HIs s/o was too kind for their own good. As much as he didn’t agree with your decision, he’ll definitely be more protective for the next few days than you thought.

"Others may find you a thorn to my side, but to me you are my human, my heart, my soul and my weakness. My other half."

#twst dorm leader hcs #gojo eyes prettyyyy #thank you for the request! #riddle x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #kalim x reader #vil x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #twst headcanon #twsted-writer request

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

#dark bts #yandere bts #yandere taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts angst #yandere bts x reader #bts mafia au #bts fic #yandere jimin #yandere yoongi #kim taehyung mafia #kim taehyung x reader #bts horror au #horror bts #bts horror #taehyung angst #taehyung fic #yandere hoseok #yandere jin #yandere jungkook #bts saw au #john kramer!taehyung #bts au #kim taehyung au #taehyung x you

[captnjacksparrow]

Hey, really liked your analysis of Hinata. I feel almost the same way about her. Even though generally I dislike female characters who are naturally meek, subservient and pointless with no character arc in any type of media, what made me absolutely hate her character was how she treated Neji. If Kishi wanted to show her arc being developed organically, instead of proposing to Naruto that removes her stuttering and gives her new found confidence (because girls only get confident when proposing to guys 🙄), Kishi could have shown her talking to Neji after he literally told his bitter story on the chuunin exam grounds in front of everyone. She is shown like she is sympathetic but didn't do anything about it. She didn't even talk to him after he was hospitalized. She knew exactly why he was the way he was, and yet she fights him as if it was his fault. She, an heir of the clan, could have asked her father to support Neji, she had some clout. But nope. In fact, it was Neji who apologizes to her in a way, he is the one who trains her and help create a new jutsu for her. What did she ever do for him exactly? And Neji didn't have to help her. She was in the best position to help and understand Neji but what did she do? A lot of fans like her character because she is reserved but kind and sympathetic. She is reserved but a coward. She was not kind towards Neji. He died for her when he didn't deserve to, he had dreams and goals that were much bigger than Hinata's entire existence. She couldn't even see her own cousin's pain and she claims to understand Naruto?? Really??

Even Kishi said she was a pitiful character who only watches from a distance. He deliberately made her that way, no goal, no backbone and no lines. And I think she sucks the most after Danzo.

WoooW!!!! Thanks for the ask, Anon.

[[Hinata and Sakura fans!!!! Please stay away and don't interact. I fucking tagged them properly]].

Even though generally I dislike female characters who are naturally meek, subservient and pointless with no character arc in any type of media, what made me absolutely hate her character was how she treated Neji.

We definitely share the same thoughts on this one, Anon.

I am really tired on most of the media for their poor treatment of female characters.

The last time I was amused by a female character was from 'Game of Thrones', I loved Cersei Lannister, who is an absolute biashhh and Sansa Stark, started out as an annoying rose tinted princess but ended up winning everyone's heart. Both are non-combative, soft spoken and somewhat powerless women in a world dominated by men. But they just didn't let the inconveniences stop them and instead they learned how to fuck that world back and take control. Both are similar and yet very different.

After seeing, such well-developed characters..... For me girls in Naruto series, is blehhhhh..... Nothing to get inspired from them. And I knew it by episode 3 itself. I have no idea how can girls, in real life, treat Sakura as some feminist icon, which makes my skin crawl for number of reasons. If you point her mistakes out in any discussions, they will pull the misogynist card to your face. When in reality, I am also a girl and my world views are entirely different from Sakura or Hinata. There is no way a 12 year old girl would want to look at the Duck of another boy.

And the problem is, They form the majority, I mean people who can connect with Sakura or Hinata. So, as long as girls like them exists, we really should suffer from these crap portrayal I guess.

That's why I advise people that If you want to see a good woman character, Narutoverse is not the place.

Having said that, I find Temari, Konan, Tsunade were better (I mean inside the Narutoverse). Though their motivations or reason to achieve a goal revolve around their men, I find their attitude relieving. Unlike Sakura or Hinata, they don't wet themselves on the sight of the men they love.

What irritates me was, Kishimoto could've easily put a character like Temari or TenTen or Tsunade into Team 7. It would've made my viewing experience a lot better. If he doesn't want the strong girls to take over the attention from his boys, then he should've introduced a meek character like Rin Nohara. She is silent and cute but atleast she was willing to die for the Village and never wetted herself over Kakashi, though she loved him. And she treated Obito like her best friend. But he deliberately made Sakura hateful and he never stopped.

Sakura and Hinata were the lowest of the low, compared to any other side characters. And, in the end, they got the main Character's Ducks without actively doing anything. For me this tells me three things

He was using these girls as a shield to close the hetero normative mouths while in reality hiding those boys true feelings under that shield.

He really hated these kind of girls and constantly showing his hatred on them at every given chance and never redeemed them back. 

He knew the target audience’ mindset and he simply caters them by giving them what they need and at the same time writing the important arcs according to his wish.

I think, it’s the combination of all three. 

Just to give you an example.

There is this delusional SS shipper Who justifies Sasuke was acting Tsundere throughout the war arc. I mean, come on!!!! 

I came across this post because, the Original Poster was an idiot who comes into the anti SS tag and reblogged my content and saying I was wrong... So, I don’t mind sharing that person’s content.

So I don’t know where this delusion comes from... It's truly pathetic.

There are millions of idiots who believe in this kind of shit and Kishi is deliberately feeding them with bits and crumbs while making his boys go out and save the world.

These delusional mindset tells us they don’t give a single shit about the story as a whole. They watch it purely for the pretty faces and getting high over them. In this case, Sasuke.

It’s as clear as day that Sasuke didn’t care about anyone other than Naruto when fighting the war. You don’t have to be a shipper but even a non-shipper can point this out. I mean Sasuke wouldn’t have saved Jugo either, if he didn’t come to Sasuke and advice him. Do you think Sasuke would’ve tried to look for Jugo and saved him at all cost???? It’s just that he came to Sasuke and he helps him back. But Sasuke would’ve saved Naruto from the bomb blast even if he was standing a mile away.

So, if these delusions reflects the mindset of the majority of the women audience, then the creator will never try to give anything better but instead give us some low-life characters like Sakura and Hinata. 

So, Anon, your expectation for Hinata’s character could’ve been developed much better is just a wishful thinking. Because, Hinata is a character for these kind of people and not for us. And the author deliberately did it. 

She was in the best position to help and understand Neji but what did she do? A lot of fans like her character because she is reserved but kind and sympathetic. She is reserved but a coward. She was not kind towards Neji. He died for her when he didn't deserve to, he had dreams and goals that were much bigger than Hinata's entire existence. She couldn't even see her own cousin's pain and she claims to understand Naruto?? Really??

For me, this also irked me a lot. 

Hinata could’ve tried to talk to Neji about his problems even when he was a child. But she was simply playing innocent when in reality, she is just a coward. Even after the Chunin Exams, there was no apologies from her side, like you said. Because she is from the Main Branch. That hierarchy never changed. If she had the gall, she could’ve easily broken that hierarchy by saying, ‘I want Neji Nii-San to take over our Clan, He is the best candidate for this and I can gladly help him with all my efforts’.  A single line and just 2 or 3 panels, it all takes.

For me killing Neji is where Kishi asking us silently, 

Do you really want these pair to happen despite having a blood stain of another character??? 

Most people said, ‘Yes!!!’, because they don’t give two shits about Neji. As long as Hinata gets Naruto, the main character’s Duck, that’s all there is to it. It doesn’t matter who dies, who lives. 

That's why Kishi is shitting on them by making her as a non-existent woman in the Boruto Manga.

Even in real life, there are many hopeless foolish little girls who would do anything for the man she loves. I've seen them and I always stay 2 miles away from them. I mean, they even ditch their own friends and spends her entire time with him and when he dumps her later, she will come back to her friends for consolation. I think Sansa Stark is the best example for this. She started out much similar to Sakura and Hinata, believing in Princes and shit, she even naively betrayed her father for the man she had crush on. But the author made her to learn her lesson in a much painful way and later she came out as a Queen who no longer needed any man at the end. I think, this is called Development.

At the end of the day, Romance and Sex is all that matters. The author knew it. So, he is feeding these girls with some low quality cookies and they are very glad to take and eat it.

#ask #anti naruhina #anti hinata #anti sakura #anti sasusaku #anti nh #anti ss #naruto analysis #sasunaru #sasunarusasu #sns #antisasusaku #antiss #antisakura

[shadyteacup]

Hey sorry if you don’t take requests like this but could you write something about Dazai with a fem s/o or crush who keeps saying she hates herself and has very low self esteem like Atsushi and panic attacks sometimes? Again sorry if you don’t take these! If it’s uncomfortable for you it’s okay to not do it!!!

Hey, this is my first time writing something like this, but it's perfectly fine! There's always a first time for everything. Sorry this took so long.. it was slightly triggering, ngl, but I managed, so all's good :D

I kinda made it relevant to my own self.... I didn't know any other way to write this....

Love, know that you are more than enough, and that you deserve love, support and happiness!

Let Me Teach You, What Love Feels Like

Dazai x f!reader

Tw: panic attack, self doubt, self hate

You sat at your desk, trying to come up with something to write. You weren't exactly a writer, just someone who always liked to read and sometimes write. You were a student, but recently you had started your own blog, and turns out, people actually liked your work.

But you couldn't accept the fact that they liked it because you were a 'good writer'. You never doubted your followers, or their tastes, but you just weren't sure if you were actually good enough, or if they were just being kind to you, out of their goodness.

Thoughts like these always flooded your mind whenever you sat to write. Whenever you get any requests, you go over them a million times before posting anything, wanting it all to be perfect for your followers.

But you still thought that you could do better.

You stared at your phone screen, reading and re-reading the request that was sent to you.

You had an idea in your mind, but what if the person who sent this, wouldn't like it? What if they aren't satisfied with what you wrote? What if your effort isn't enough? What if they hate it? What if-

Your thoughts were interrupted by two arms draping themselves around your shoulders.

You jolted out of your spiraling thoughts, and let out a silent gasp.

Tufts of brown tickled your cheeks, as a chin placed itself on your head.

"Hey beautiful", a melodic voice spoke.

"Dazai! You scared the shit out of me!"

You wiggled out of his grasp, turning around to scowl at his handsome face.

He chuckled, booping your nose with his own.

"You look so cute when you're flustered, I can't help but pull such tricks on you ;)"

His cute smirk and light hazelnut orbs filled you with happiness. You loved him so much. He was a dork sometimes, but, alas, he was your dork.

"What are doing, love?", he asks, peering over your head to observe the blank page of your book, and the text on your phone.

"Just writing...", you say,"or atleast, I'm attempting to.."

Your far away look, and the doubt in your eyes instantly told him what you were going through. You were a lot like a certain subordinate of his, and it both pained and hurt him.

You always looked down at yourself. You never gave yourself enough credit. If something that you worked for was successful, you would give credit to the luck, or some stupid coincidence, or anybody else who had merely lent a helping hand. And when it didn't work out, you blamed yourself, calling yourself weak and inefficient. You would easily take the fall for all the misfortunes, and never pat your back for all the good you do. It frustrated him to no end. What should he do to make you realize that you're perfect the way you are? How can he convince you that you are more than enough, and that you are such an important and worthy person in not only his life, but everybody around you? You are capable of bringing a smile to everyone's faces, and your mere presence makes their day. How do you not see that?

When you wake up and look in the mirror, all you see are made up imperfections.

He remembers when you were staring at the mirror one morning, and he had asked you teasingly, "Are you checking yourself out?"

You had merely shaken your head, and replied with a,"There's nothing to check out..."

Before he could say something, you had begun talking.

"I'm not beautiful, Dazai. Look at me. My curves aren't quite right. At some places, they are non existent and at others, they're way too bulging. I'm not pretty, either. My eyes are way too huge, and my nose is slightly crooked. My hair isn't silky, and my height isn't ideal. I'm.... nothing of value..."

You turned to face him, with tears in your eyes.

"I... I don't know why you stay... You can do so much bett-"

He had cut you mid way with a kiss.

"You are the most beautiful person on the planet, Y/N."

You looked away, mumbling, "You just say that for the sake of it... You don't have to, you know..."

He cupped your cheek, looking you in the eyes.

"When you smile, my entire world lights up. That's because you are my world. Your curves are perfect. Your eyes aren't too huge, infact, they're the prettiest pair I have ever seen. The way they shine, and hold so much kindness, beauty and love; they make me fall for you over and over again. Your smile, and your gurgling laughter gives me a reason to live. You are my reason, Y/N. You are perfect."

You blushed. You wanted to believe him; the genuine look in his eyes, the soft smile on his lovely lips, and the gentle tone of his voice; it all made you want to believe him. But you couldn't bring yourself to do so. You couldn't give yourself any credit, and couldn't see the perfect, amazing parts of you that he saw. And he knew that. He could read it on your face. You were flustered by his words; he could see that. But he also saw the doubt. He saw the hesitance on your face.

So he did what he thought was best. He made love to you. He very passionately explained to you, all the best parts of you. He kissed every bit of skin, telling you just how much he adores every inch of you.

It did wonders to your confidence, too.

Now, instead of thinking that everybody hates you, you knew that atleast one person doesn't fully despise you, and that person was Dazai. Although it didn't quite work the way he wanted it to work, it still did something.

So he kept going, proving to you at every opportunity that you were perfect, and deserve all the love in this world.

Right now, staring at your doubtful eyes, he saw just how skeptical you were about your writing abilities.

He was going to change that.

"Say, Y/N, do you want a break?"

You tilt your head in consideration.

"I haven't even written a word yet..."

He smiled, saying,"Maybe your mind needs a refresher. Something to help unclog your thoughts."

He tugged on your wrist, beckoning you to follow him.

"Where are we going?"

He threw on his coat, helping you into yours.

"You'll see", he said, giving you a wink.

Walking down the lanes of Yokohama was one of your favorite pastimes.

Observing the people, the diverse culture and the beauty of the city filled you with content.

He took you to have your favorite ice-cream. The rich flavour and the way it melted on your tongue always made you feel happy.

"This is so yummy!!", you squealed, licking it.

Dazai chuckled ruffling your hair.

"Don't do that! It completely spoiles my look!", you say, trying to fix your hair.

"I love you so much..", he says, voice completely serious, his face adorning a charming but genuine smile.

You blush at the sincerity of his words, and smile.

Your little moment was interrupted by a furry ball running past your legs. The cat looked injured.

"Hey, hold onto this for a moment. I'll go check if that cat is hurt.", you say, handing your cone to Dazai.

He nods, as you begin running after it. He doesn't know why you care so much, but it's probably because of your big heart. Sighing, he begins walking in your direction slowly.

You try to catch up to the animal, turning a corner, and in the process, bumping into a small boy.

The ice-cream in his hands drops to the ground.

He looks at you, devastated and sad, and begins bawling his eyes out.

You try to apologize to him, promising to buy him a new one, but he just wouldn't stop crying. The loud noise of his cries and the exertion caused due to running made your breaths uneven. You tried to push it away, but you could feel your head pulsating with pain. A high pitched tone filled your ears. You tried to block the sound to get some relief, but to no avail. The intensity of the sound, the headache and the boys teary face made you drop to ground, and curl up against the wall.

'You are so useless. Whenever you try to help someone, you only end up ruining it. You always ruin things. Nothing you do is valuable. You cause so much pain to everyone around you. You can never make anyone happy. You are the cause of everybody's sadness. You are a disappointment. Pathetic, useless person.. Why are you even alive?'

Your thoughts were swallowing you. They were pulling you into a deep, dark hole, one that was draining your life out of you. You couldn't stop the shaking of your palms, your whole body trembled.

You didn't realize when the commotion stopped, or when or how the boy left the area, but you could hear a voice, a familiar voice, and you tried to hold onto it. You tried with your best efforts to clutch onto the one ray of light in the dark hole you were in. You used all your might and focused on those words. Slowly, you could make sense of them.

"Take deep breaths, Y/N. I'm here. Don't worry. Just focus on your breathing."

You did that. You tried to hear your own breaths.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

You were slowly crawling out of there, tuning out the thoughts that were trying to pull you in.

"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in..."

You followed the voice, and felt the angry thoughts fade away.

Once you were almost in control of your mind, you tried to open your eyes, only a little bit. Through the tiny aperture, you saw soft brown orbs staring back at you. Dazai smiled at you, hesitantly raising his hand near your face. Silently asking for permission to touch you. You nuzzle your face in his palm. He slowly pulls you into a hug. Kissing your forehead, he picks you up, and begins walking home.

You snuggled against him, hiding your face in his chest, and closing your eyes.

He just wanted you to have a good time. He had messed up. But it's alright. As long as he was with you, he would help you get out of your spiraling thoughts. He would always be by your side. He would protect you, even if it meant from your own mind.

On reaching back home, he helped you change into comfortable clothes, and laid you on the bed, wrapping the comforter around your body to keep you warm. He made some soup and rice for you. He brought you a tall glass of water, too. He took complete care of you. He fed you the food, cooing you to have as much as possible. You needed the strength. You soon fell into a deep slumber, with his arms wrapped securely around your petite form.

Dazai held you close, and slowly rocked you. He observed your sleeping form, and felt so frustrated. He wanted to help you out of this, and he was trying his best to do so. He was taking small, baby steps, and they were working, too. But it was all too slow. He didn't want you to experience one more second of this. He wants you to never go through that again. But he knows that things like this take time. He's willing to sacrifice everything for you. He loves you, and will always love you, no matter what. He will not stop until you are free of the dark thoughts that plague your mind, and will, at every step, assure you that you deserve all the happiness and live in this world.

Because you matter to him. You mean the world to him. So he will hold you close, kiss your lips, and wipe your tears until you break free. He will walk through fire for you.

He looks down at your face, the way your eyes fluttered every now and then, and the way your rosy, delicate lips were slightly parted, the way a strand of your hair fell onto your face, and the way you looked so innocent and protected in his arms; it all made him love you even more.

He made a promise to you.

"I will always be there for you, my little lady. I will always love you, and will teach you to love yourself."

He kissed your forehead.

"I love you, my princess."

Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted! I tried my best...But do request again, if it isn't satisfactory!

#teacup #teacup writes #☕ #☕ says #shadyteacup #shady☕ #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs dazai #dazai bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai+x+reader #dazai x you #dazai x atsushi #osamu dazai x reader #osamu dazai x you #dazai x chuuya #dazai x y/n #dazai x oc #bsd anime #bsd akutagawa #dazai osamu x reader #osamu imagine

[ms-indifferwnt]

I’m Cold

“I'm cold"

"And?"

"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"

"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"

In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)

Notes: Chapter 4 of Im Cold. Sorry this one took longer, hope you guys enjoy

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

Prev / Chapter 4 / Next

Y/n sat, legs crossed by the ankles as she tries her best to avoid eye contact with the person infront of her, granted he was busy trying to sell his proposal to the Prince but the way he stared at her made Y/n uncomfortable and kept adjusting ho she sat in order to keep her mind of the man

Donghyuck noticed how uncomfortable she was, through out the conversation he had with the man across from him and Y/n he was inching closer to Y/n in order to shield her but the man would stare at any pretty thing that would pass them by and Donghyuck was absolutely disgusted, he placed a caring and affectionate hand on Y/n's knee to catch her attention and once their eyes meet he could already see how distressed she was, pulling away to unbutton his blazer and placed it on her legs

"Get out" The Prince says to the man with an obnoxious grin, his eyes serious and harsh, making the man stop and stare at the prince in shock "Didn't you hear me?"

"B-but" the man started to defend himself and the Prince sighs and crosses his arms

"If there's one thing I don't tolerate is when people like you treat women like some kind of prize, you've been doing it to every single thing that has two legs and a pulse since we got here and it's rude, doing it to my fiance is just down right disgusting, I don't tolerate that behavior in my kingdom nor in my presence so I'm going to say it again," He says in a calm tone yet it held authority "Get out, you've wasted our time enough"

Y/n watches as the man bows and leaves, "Thank you" she whispers

The Prince looks at her with a raised eyebrow and fixed his blazer that on her legs "Next time tell me" He replies calmly to soothe the girl's frightened gaze, The Prince could be scary if he wanted to and he didn't want to scare her more than she already is "I dragged you into this mess, let me protect you when you're scared"

She nods slowly "Y-you didn't have to kick him out-"

"Were you even listening to what he said?"

She shakes her head

"Me neither"

She looks at him "Sorry?"

"I stopped listening after the first sentence, I noticed he was eyeing a couple of waitresses and I noticed you were uncomfortable but you weren't saying anything, anyway, I paid more attention to you then whatever he said," He concludes and noticed she had her head down and he hums in an attempt to get her mind off it "We should eat lunch, anything you want in particular?"

"Anything is fine"

"No seriously? Seafood, Pasta, Chicken, Beef, Pork? Anything?"

"Whatever is ok, My Prince"

"Ok, next time I will not answer you if it isn't Donghyuck. Second," He cups her cheeks so she'll look at him "Right now you're my Fiance , so do me a favor and take advantage of me yeah?"

She blushes and looks down, nodding

"Words, love" he presses

"Yes, ok"

"Yes, ok, what?"

"um?" she looks up and into his eyes "Donghyuck?"

He nods "Good girl," he approves and smiles sweetly "So lunch? made up your mind yet?"

"Yes, um Seafood?"

"ooh, there's this really good restaurant Taeyong Hyung brought me too, I'll take you there"

"Just two more meetings," He informs and held her hand "And I promise I'll take you shopping"

"You really don't-" Y/n was cut off when she yelped in pain when the prince squeezed her hand, giving her a sweet yet warning smile she sighs and decided to get into character, making a mental note to scold the Prince "But- Its so boring, Please can we go now?"

Donghyuck looks at the man opposite them and smiles softly and apologetically "Love, just a little longer," she pouts and Donghyuck wanted to pinch her cheeks, granted he was the one who asked her be disagreeable so he can doesn't have to stay and attend this meeting, but he found her whining absolutely adorable that he might actually obey her if leaving was what she really wanted "ten minutes, then we go ok?"

She grins, Y/n and the Prince spoke about this while they ate lunch that he was not in the best mood after dealing with the man with an obnoxious grin and that he doesn't want to attend the meeting, so he developed a plan, managing to get the female to join his plan, "Alright"

After ten minutes as promised, the man bowed and apologized with the prince assuring him that it was alright and that they'll talk tomorrow

The Prince watched as the man leaves then beams at Y/n "life saver," he says and nods "I'll buy you anything you want" he promises and Y/n shakes her head "and before you decline, choose, you pick out something you like or I'll buy the whole store?"

She gasps and grabs his sleeve "Donghyuck!" she exclaimed in a scolding voice, like you would to a child but instead of the prince beibg offended or atleast shocked by the female's tone he grinned

"You," He looks at her happily "You called me by my name"

"No-"

"Yes you did! Say it again, come on Y/n"

"Your Highness-"

He clicks his tongue and raises his eyebrow "Come again?"

"Donghyuck"

He grins and nods "half an hour before the next meeting then shopping, ok?"

"We really don't have to"

"Well, true" He hums and orders two more hot chocolate "but its good publicity, people see me, the prince shopping with his fiance, you, and I'd get recognition and my The King and Queen would believe our love" he thanks the waiter and looks at her again, leaning in making the Prince's breath fan against hear cheek, voice quiet as he whispers "besides you need more clothes that will match with me"

"Prince Donghyuck?" A man calls from behind him and Y/n pulls away and looks to the side, a bit of pink coloring her cheeks at how they were caught

The Prince turns and smiles "Oh, you're early, please, have a seat" and the man obeyed "Can I get you anything?"

The mam shakes his head "No, thank you" His maroon suit standing out in the cafe, his whole persona made Y/n feel uneasy like something was wrong with him, she was on edge

The Prince smiles and nodded "You may start whenever you are ready"

"By putting this new building up it will give  us more chance to meet with people outside of the kingdom" He proposes and then looks at the Prince for approval who had his eyebrows furrowed at the man's words

"And where are you proposing we build that?" He asks

Y/n looks at the Prince as he spoke, something about his tone was off, and Y/n doesn't like it

"There's this plot of land that would be absolutely perfect for it," He takes his phone out and shows the Prince where it was planned "This spot would surely get a lot of attention"

Y/n's breath caught on to her throat, "That is a neighborhood" she says in disbelief, "Where would those people live? Where would they go?"

Donghyuck looks at her and tilts his head "Are you seriously planning on building that in a place were people live? where they have claimed as their home?" he glares at the man "Y/n how do you know this neighborhood?"

She looks at the Prince only to see him calmly yet dangerously looking at the man, like a predator would, The Prince was furious, "My Grandparents live there" She answers

The prince scoffs in disbelief "There are people there, Mr. Choi Samin. What do you propose we do to them? where will you put them?"

"Well I didn't really-" He started and The Prince cuts him off

"That's enough," He says and waves him off "Thank you for your time, you may leave now"

"But, my Prince-" He starts

"I'm sorry I think I didn't make my self clear, I no longer have any business with you," He declares "I have no business with someone who would do anything for money, even when it means making hundreds of families loose their homes? You don't deserve speaking to me, to my fiance or my family, get out"

Y/n flinches and looks at the Prince in fear, one thing was known about the Prince is that he was happy-go-lucky, playful and absolutely flirty but if there is one thing that every single person in the palace avoids it the Prince getting angry, granted he doesn't get angry often but when he does he's intimidating.

Y/n grabs the Prince by the sleeves holding in to it when he makes a move to stand, she doesn't understand where she developed the courage to do that, but she did and the Prince stopped looking at her with a harsh glare only to see her e/c colored eyes staring at him in fear, he takes a breath to calm himself down, taking the female's hand with his other one to pull it away from his sleeve and place it down to his hand, to hold it, protectively and carefully, locking their fingers together as he looks at the man

"well?" The Prince asks, he was still angry, but he was calmer, Y/n helped calm him down, his thumb rubbing softly against Y/n's skin "Leave"

The man stands and bows, leaving the two of them in the cafe, The prince looks at Y/n "You ok? I scared you didn't I?"

She shakes her head "I'm ok, thank you" he keeps on watching her as she spoke "I'm definitely ok, thankyou for not approving the proposal, I don't know what my grandparents would have done, oh and the children there, I'm thankful you declined but you didn't have to get angry at a public pace your reputation might-"

But did any of that get through to the Prince? No. He wasn't listening, actually he stopped listening, he got sidetracked by watching her speak and the way her hand moves while she tells him truths, speaking of hand, he looks down, the two of them still have hands interlocked and the rubbing of his thumb against her skin still hasn't stopped, Donghyuck's cheeks grow warm, was this not affecting her? "Y/n, stop your rambling," he comments and stands tugging her along by the hand making her stop "I wanna give you something, come on"

I’m cold Taglist:

@staysstrays​

If you wanna be added leave a comment

#HaeChan #haechan x reader #haechan smut #ROYAL AU #royaltyAU #royal!haechan #royal7dream #7Dream #7dream plus Lucas #renjun #Jeno #jaemin #chenle #jisung #prince lee donghyuck #lee donghyuck #lee donghyuck x reader

[to-hell-and-beyond]

“Every.Last.One” Pt.2

Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x Reader

Requested: Yes : No

Request: Every last one pt 2 ?? -Anon

Here it is! Took a while but I’m glad of the ending. Maybe pt.3 were it talks about the two of them getting closer?

Summary: After your promise to yourself you try your hardest to fulfill it. Even hating on the Eagle Fang Students. But what happens when everything changes at a Christmas Party?

Words: 1725

Pt.1

Hate. That was the one thing coursing through your veins every time you saw him. The boy who you’d had grown up with, grown up loving, now filled with hate and vengeance. At first he wanted vengeance for everyone who had made fun of him. Every lip joke, whisper and tear. You were ok with that, you were glad to see those bullies pay the price of Karma. But what Hawk didn’t see was the line between vengeance and just pure hate. You were also trying to see the line but everyday it's getting harder and harder becoming more of a distant memory..

“I really think you should come Y/n! We’ve had a hard past few weeks and I think this will be good for everyone!” Samantha LaRusso’s voice rang from your phone as she tried to convince you to come to her Christmas party. The two of you had gotten closer ever since what happened with Demetri. She had been there while you were recovering from the emotional storm that was “Hawk”.

“I don’t know Sam. I’m still not really close to the other Miyagi-do students and the last thing I want is to make things awkward. Besides this is my first winter holiday without Eli…”

“Exactly! That's why you should come!” You thought about it for a few minutes. Would it really be that bad if you came? I mean Demitri was already going to be there, and you promised yourself you would be there to help him during his recovery.

“Alright I’ll go.” A sound of excitement came from your phone as Sam started telling you about all sorts of stuff she wanted to do to prepare for the party. What she wasn’t telling you was that she invited the Eagle Fang Students. You still didn't have a good relationship with them, seeing them as still Cobras and you promised yourself, Every.Last.One

You weren’t exactly sure what to bring to this party.  It wasn't like you were invited to a lot of parties in your high school career. The only parties you’ve been to are birthdays and DnD game nights. Even with your little experience you still when’t. You knocked on the door and there was Samantha LaRusso. She looked a lot better then when she was in the hospital. You were glad about that fact.

“Hey Y/n!” Sam said enthusiastically. As she pushed the door wide open and gestures for you to come in. She re-introduced you to some of the Miyagi Do students as you politely waved to them.You sat beside Demitri as Sam began to pace around. You were confused for a second, wondering why on earth she looked so scared. You didn’t say anything though, not wanting to make her feel bad in any way. It was the winter holidays, it was time to be nice.

“Well, this Christmas party turned out to be  ho-ho-horrible.” Demitri said and you kinda agreed. Shure you’ve never been to an actual party but this wasn't what you saw on those T.V dramas.

“Yah, Sam. I thought you said your parents are going to be out for the night. So why aren't we throwing a rager?” There was distant “yeah” in agreement in the background as Sam looked more and more worried. You knew that she was hiding something but you weren’t sure what.

“There’s a keg on the way. It’s just going to be a few more minutes.” She looked to seem like she was trying to pump us up for a huge game or something like that but she was doing the exact opposite. Safe to say this entire party was a fail.

“Can we atleast put on a Christmas special?” Demitri asked and you nodded in agreement. That's what the three of you would do every Christmas. It was your thing, until the tides changed.

“Id even watch that creepy one with the little elf dentist.” You snorted in laughter remembering the time you did watch that. Demitri was complaining the whole way through you and Eli laughed. Ah, the good old days.

“Yeah, I’m that bored.” Demitri said when he saw the look of disgust on Sam’s face.The doorbell rang and Sam said an excited, “ It’s here!”.

Oh it was definitely here. Sadly it was not a keg, but a bunch of ex Cobras turned into Eagles. Oh how you wanted to punch their faces right now. There was a sign of protest from each member of Miyagi-do as they ran up to the door ready to kick the “Keg” out. While they all ran you stayed put on the couch.

“Look, I know we haven’t always gotten along, but Cobra Kai is the bigger threat now. To all of us.” Sam said that last line as she looked into your eyes. Never in a million years did you think she would pull something like this.

“We think that we’d stand a better chance against them if we joined forces.” Miguel said as your eyes glowed with hate and you curled your fist to the point that your knuckles were white.

“We?” You spat as the group turned around to look at you.

“This isn’t going to work.” Miguel mumbled as he saw your hands. Yes, you may not be a Karate champion but your loyal, and loyal people fight to the death for people they love.

“It has to. We have one last chance to make things right. Alone, we’re nothing. But if we work together, we have a shot. If we can’t get over the past, the fighting will never end. We have to confront our enemies. This rivalry has to stop. One way or another... Y/n?” She asked worried about your answer. You took a deep breath before you decided to confront your demons.

“I was never part of this “Rivalry” to begin with. I was just looking out for my friends before all of this had started, so technically my opinion doesn't matter. But I suppose that if we can put all of this behind us we may be able to achieve something.” Sam smiled as you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Maybe this night won’t be as terrible.  You were all sitting on Sam’s kitchen table and Demitri went over some of the new rules. 

“I’m going to go get a glass of water.” You told them as you stood up and walked out of the door. After you left the sounds of a cat were heard.

“I didn’t know you had a cat.” Miguel told Sam. Sam looked confused for a second before turning back.

“We don’t.” Just as Sam finished saying those last words the window broke and you were hurt by some of the glass. Everyone turned around to see the Cobra Kia’s walk in. You were horrified to see Kylar with them. You had heard the rumors that he had joined Cobra Kai, but never in a million years did you think that they were true.

People started jumping out of every corner and soon it was a full blown on fight. You hurried to hide in the corner near the stairs as the fighting got worse. Now, you could go in there and beat those people but in all honesty you didn’t want to get charged with assult.You watched as the filler red mohawk as he fought and fought and fought. Your breathing hitched as you saw Demitri in pain.

“Hey. Yo, Hawk. Free shot!” One of the Cobras yelled to Hawk across the room. You watched as his face fell. You were worried for a second time he would hurt your friend and you were ready to stop that from happening but something unexpected happened. Hawk ran, and then he flipped one of the Cobras over and they fell on the glass table. He started fighting more and more of them and then turned around to Demitri.

“Look, man. I’m sorry.” Hawk said as he faced Demitri. “For all of it. Do you wanna help me win this thing?” 

“Yeah.” Demitri answered as they both smiled and began to kick the shit out of the rest of the Cobras.

The fight was now all over. Sam had fought her way through the pain to beat Tory, Miguel had actually gotten the power back to kick and better yet to kick Kylar’s stupid face. And Hawk and Demtri were buddies again. But you still couldn't get over the pain, unlike everyone else.

“Y/n?” You tried around to see Hawk. He looked almost scared as he approached you, worrying that you would kick him to the curve. 

“Yes?” You asked with venom in your voice. You still didn’t forgive him for what he did at the hospital. It was a mistake? What kind of mistake is the two of you loving each other? Why was he even here?

“Look, I know that after everything that has happened you're mad and you have every right to be I was dick. I didn’t just hurt Demitir bad, I hurt you too. You were my best friend Y/n, but you were something more than that. And I know it's going to take a long time or we might not even get back to that point but I want to prove to you that I’ve changed.” You thought about his words for a while. Were they all true? Was this another one of his sick games?

“Ok. If you apologize to everyone here and give Demitri a better apology then that half ass one you did I’ll think about it. Your right, It's going to take a lot of time and effort to get back to where we were. That’s why I want you to think a lot about this. If you're sure you're ready to do that you can meet me at the mall on Tuesday as just friends, nothing more.” You told him and you saw his smile. The sweet smile that you missed so dearly. It was so nice to see that smile on his face again.

“Ok.” He told you as he smiled. You would still beat every single Cobra, but right now it was the two of you's time to fix your relationship. Beating the shit out of them would have to wait for later.

#eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #hawk x reader #hawk #hawk x you #hawk cobra kai #hawk imagine #cobra kai #demitri #demitri cobra kai #samantha larusso #sam larusso #chris cobra kai #bert cobra kai #nathaniel cobra kai #mitch cobra kai #kylar #kylar cobra kai #miguel diaz #tory nichols #tory cobra kai

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Court of the crimson king pt2

Three years later...

You looked out the window of your small cottage, well not your cottage per say. Rather it belongs to the owner of the rehabilitation centre you now lived in. It wasn't a permanent residence but you were allowed to stay until you finally grew accustomed to normal life again.

You were happy that this place existed, a little town like rehabilitation centre for those who weren't necessarily damaged enough to be sent to an asylum. The town itself was beautiful, cottage style homes with beautiful gardens and cute cobblestone paths that were complimentary with the rolling green hills that decorated the area. It was hard to believe the city was only an hour away.

You heard a knock on the door and quickly answered it to see the psychologist that visited one a week. Her name was Margaret McQueen, a beautiful south African woman with dark frizzy hair and sunkissed skin that seemed to glow. She gave you a heartwarming smile as you let her in.

"Hello (Y/n) how have you been since I last saw you?" She asked as she entered.

"I've been good, I'm actually going to go out with my best friend tonight" you explained. her face lit up in joy as she sat down on the lounge.

"Oh that's great, how do you feel about going out? I remember you had a few problems last time" she asked as you sat beside her.

"Yeah but I think I've finally gotten over the paranoia... I think I'm finally returning to my old self" you explained.

"That's good, you're making excellent progress" she commented.

"The only problem I'm having now is sleep" you said as you gave a wry chuckle.

"Have you tried reading that sensory book that I've told you before bed?" She asked.

"Yes but I keep having a dream about being there again, nightmares of all the horrible things they did to me" you explained.

"And I keep seeing that man in them" you continued

"The one that you claim slaughtered everybody?" She asked

"Yes" you replied.

"The police still haven't found a single suspect that fits the description you gave them" she explains.

"To be honest I think that you may have been hallucinating during the incident, I'm not saying anything against you... Many people tend to make imaginary saviours in their most dire moments after such events" she explained.

"But I'm glad to hear about your progress" she commented before she stood up again.

"I won't take up anymore of your sweet time, I'm sure you want some time to get ready" she said in a lighthearted tone.

"Just make sure to sign in when you get back" she mentioned before you two said your goodbyes.

📜📜📜

You hopped out of the shower and dried yourself before wrapping the towel around you. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you noticed a distinct cluster of freckles over your nose and cheeks that you hadn't seen before. You inspected the brownish spots that littered your face before trying to rub them off only to find that they were definitely permanent. You didn't find much concern in the freckles, it may have just been some slight exposure that caused it, in future you'd put some more sunscreen on when going outside.

Lost in your thoughts you hadn't heard the faint voice that called your name.

Suddenly you felt like your body was being crushed under high gravity. Your head was pounding, it felt like a clamp was slowly crushing your head. You fell to your knees and held your head in your hands. As you curled up in pain the tension grew tighter, each second it grew even more painful. You felt as if your head was about to burst until it suddenly stopped.

You got to your feet and looked in the mirror to find a crack that had appeared across it. You found it odd but simply dismissed it as you may have hit it a few seconds earlier without realising.

Then a loud bang caused you to snap your head back like a deer that sensed a predictor nearby. You ran out of the bathroom, despite the lack of clothes. You entered the loungeroom to find your cabinets and draws had been searched through and the window had been opened completely.

"(Y/n)... What happened?" A familiar voice asked with concern in their tone. You turned your head to the hallway to see your best friend, Laila who ran to your side and hugged you.. The saliva in your mouth thinned as you still tried to comprehend what had happened.

"I… I don't know" you croaked.

"Are you hurt? Did somebody do something to you?" She asked.

"No…" you replied.

"Oh god I was worried that you had been attacked" she said as she squeezed you tighter.

"I'm fine, could you atleast help me figure out if I've been robbed?" You asked. She pulled away and gave you an affirmative nod as she helped you look through your belongings.

Surprisingly nothing had been stolen which would have been a massive relief until your mind began to speculate, what kind of a thief would break into your house and not steal something, you had a jar full of coins and various objects that held some value. Perhaps it wasn't an object they wanted.

#yandere jjba #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #diavolo and doppio #diavolo jojo #doppio jojo #au #diavolo x reader #yandere diluc x reader