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I know how hard it is to get yourself out of all those miserable thoughts and my dear, you need to stop being harsh on yourself first. Take a break. Look at the stars and that shining moon. Talk to yourself. Cry and pray. Wait till you heal so that you can adore your flaws too even when you're not in a position to look at any positive thing occurring around you.
Ps- I'm sorry for being inactive from such a long time and I'll try to bring some positivity back to your lives 🥰
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thoughts from my journal, 11:15 pm.
my morning wasn’t too kind to me. conflict. inner monologue. bland emotions. the feeling of emptiness. i wanted to bundle up under my blankets and question my existence, letting the tears run down my cheeks. so many thoughts were flooding my mind. the silence got too loud for me. i forced myself to get dressed and get out of the apartment. i felt proud of myself. keeping busy helped me get out of my head- to be present in the moment. half of my day was spent stressing, while the other half of it was spent coming to realizations and working on not being so hard on myself. i’d like to say it was a win-win. i’ve struggled with balancing out the good and the bad. but today, it felt easier. i never thought i’d be able to say that and really mean it. i don’t give myself enough credit for the progress i’ve made throughout this painful healing process. there are actually a lot of things i don’t give myself enough credit for, but i’m recognizing and taking it one step at a time. one achievement at a time. i’ve had it engraved in me that perfection must come effortlessly and as fast as possible. i’ve been taught, by society and my own family, that by a certain age, you MUST have everything and if you don’t, you’re a failure. let me tell you, that’s sure as hell not true. we have all the time in the world to figure everything out. to learn about who we are and where we want to be. to go through the highs and lows. learn from our mistakes. count our blessings. to grow. i’m no longer who i used to be ten years ago. five years ago. one year ago. hell, even 6 months ago. forgiving myself for my past won’t be an easy road. it hasn’t been so far. but i won’t give up even when my brain tries to trick me into thinking i have no other choice. there’s always another way. this journey isn’t straightforward. healing isn’t linear. embrace the ups and the downs. remain steady. it’s all worth it in the end.
Right now in my etsy shop all tarot readings are $10 and under! 🔮🔮🔮
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Artist to Artist...
"As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!
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ACA Welcome to the Game of Life 😁
Ready to play... Which thoughts do you consume to increase Self Love? Which thoughts diminish and destroy Self Love?
"Thoughts have power; thoughts are energy. And you can make your world or break it by your own thinking." Susan L. Taylor
Follow for inspiration to take the lead. mysmoxi.com/support
People have never been for me. After living your life engulfed in other peoples' bullshit maybe you'd feel the same way. People suck, but sometimes you get lucky. When life seems it's darkest I know I'll always have a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to, but that's not what makes a friend. Knowing that people will be there through the dark parts is a comforting feeling, but the realest people offer so much more than that. When you go through life as a lively spirit people will throve off hearing your short comings. I used to mistake that for true friendship. The people I've met this past year have been some of the best. True friends are able to pull you from your breaking points while still knowing your boundaries, they know how to let you vent without letting you pity yourself. They know just how to make you feel better even when you don't know yourself. They care about if your safe or if you're on time. Genuine people are hard to discover in a world of people who thrive on your downfall. People who want nothing from you other than friendship. As the end of this chapter rolls around, I find myself reminiscing of how my life has changed. I found that even through all the losses and all the hurt I can still find beautiful moments that I shared with perfect people. Moments that I won't be able to replace with superficial treasures or even romance. Moments that I shared with the perfect people I'm surrounded by.
Not all beautiful flowers were meant to be picked.
Once a lotus flower has been cut, the hollow stem begins the process of self healing. Once the cut stem of the lotus begins the healing process, no water can travel up the stem to the flower. Since the flower cannot receive moisture, it will begin to wilt shortly after it is cut from the plant.
"There is a part of blooming which I did not understand, you see. You can be a flower all your life but still not understand it. Blooming is one thing; but blooming where you are planted is another. It's so easy to say, "I will bloom when I am there", but you need to be saying, "I will bloom right here, where I was planted." Because until I bloom "right here", I'm never going to actually bloom; because we cannot do it in concept, you see, we must bloom now. We must bloom here. The flower must trust."
C. JoyBell C.
Self Love never waits 🌹 Self Love liberates ❤️
Follow for inspiration to take the lead. mysmoxi.com
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Look closely for the heart!
Today was a good day, went to the lake and did some grounding!
Remember to always take time for yourself to heal and be great. Walk outside in your bare feet, or stand in some water. Appreciate nature for all that it is and it will do the rest♥️
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May 15, 2021
I finally decided to start a safe space. Not only for myself, but for whoever runs across this page. In the real world it’s so hard for me to open up completely. I don't like expressing too much of my thoughts or emotions to those around me (pretty sure I'm not the only one). That doesn't mean i don't love them or trust them. It has more to do with past traumas. I just am very misunderstood.
Dealing with my environment for the mean time isn't easy, so this will be my escape. I’ve over extended my presence and energy in this city and to its people. A year from now I'm manifesting the peace, love, and abundance my soul is craving. If you find yourself reading any of this..thank you for listening to my soul..sending love from the East side of America.