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rrenzwrld · 2 months

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nobody else, nothing else

connie x bimbo cheerleader!black reader

finally got a chance to continue this concept! i actually like how it turned out even though it doesn’t show the whole bimbo cheerleader aspect. i just got carried away into the fic but i might think up more hcs…anyways enjoy!

ever since connie asked you out and your relationship progressed, he felt pressure. he felt some kind of pressure from anyone who’s ever known you or him to do things that he wasn’t used to doing.

“she’s high maintenance.” he knew that and didn’t mind catering to you whenever he could. you were the sweetest person ever and deserved the world.

“she’s way out of your league man. ain’t no way you pulled that” maybe you were but if you didn’t care, neither did he.. at least he tried not to. you were beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, kind, everything someone would only get in a dream.

“she’s too good for you. you don’t know how to handle her” they spoke of you as if you could be handled like a pet or something. like you were this wild animal he had to tame or you’d spiral out of control. most of the time connie didn’t care about what was said but if he was left with his thoughts for too long, it’d be good for no one.

“connie, you been ignoring and avoiding me. why?” he couldn’t tell you that.

“there’s a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“what, so you don’t have time for me anymore? you have time for basketball and everything else.”

“it’s not you.”

“that’s hard to believe.”

“y/n.. can you please? i don’t wanna talk right now.” you were visibly hurt. he could never tell you to go away but something was different today. he didn’t wanna let you see him in a way that you weren’t used to seeing

“oh really?” he could see your body shift at his words and it hurt him to see you like that but he didn’t wanna burden you with his insecurities. “well,” you looked down at your shoes. “let me know whenever you’re ready to talk.” he knew how you operated and even though you insinuated that your lines of communication would be open to him still, that phrase for you only meant that you’d have your phone on dnd for the rest of the day and there was no getting through to you until the end of it.

the day went on and connie found himself standing outside of the door of your last class, waiting for you to walk out of it. his thoughts had been consuming him all day but all he wanted was you in his arms to take all of that away. he couldn’t afford for you to be upset with him right now.

“y/n.” connie grabbed your arm as he saw you nearly walk past without acknowledging him. you looked at the loose grip on your arm.

“constance.”

“stop that.”

“stop what?”

“that. being childish, you know i don’t like when you call me that.”

“and i don’t like when you’re not honest with me.” you crossed your arms stern over your chest, letting him know you weren’t backing down from the topic at hand earlier.

“ay, tesoro…can we please not do this right now?” you shrugged.

“maybe not now but we have to talk about it after practice. promise?” you held out your pinky. of course connie wouldn’t tell anyone his feelings if he didn’t have to but it was you. he wanted to be able to do anything for you so he intertwined his pinky with yours.

“good. call me later?”

“of course, i love you.” he leaned in to quickly place a peck on your cheek before he left to get ready for practice while you waited for your mom to get you because you didn’t have cheer practice that day.

when practice was over, connie went home and make sure all his stuff was done before he decided to call you. the two of you called each other almost every night but this particular call was making him nervous.

“i’m guessing you’re ready to talk?” connie sighed loudly and you giggled at how annoyed he was but you pondered about why sharing his feelings was so difficult with you.

“i guess so.”

“so, what’s been going on? what’s been on your mind?” connie didn’t think he’d have to address these particular concerns with you and was worried as to if you’d judge him or not even though that wasn’t your character.

“just…some insecurities, that’s all.”

“elaborate, please?”

“people say i don’t deserve you and i don’t like how that makes me feel.” you didn’t like how that made you feel either and connie’s softened tone hadn’t made it easier. “makes me feel like a shitty boyfriend, ya know? like what do they think i’m doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? what’s wrong with me? do you really deserve bette—“

“baby.” you interrupted his rambling. “you’re perfect, okay? you have nothing to prove to me and especially not to whoever is saying those things to you.” you sweet voice calmed connie over the phone but he knew he’d feel much better if he had one of your hugs to pair along with it. “i love you, you love me and that’s all that matters. nobody else, nothing else, alright?” connie stayed quiet for a moment before answering.

“yeah.”

“nobody else, nothing else.” in the back of connie’s mind, he didn’t think he deserved you. he believed he was too flawed for you and you were supposed to have someone as perfect as yourself. but you didn’t care about any of that. you loved connie for connie and no matter how imperfect he thought he was, he was perfect for you.

“now, how was practice?”

#aot #aot x reader #black reader #aot x black reader #connie springer #aot connie #connie springer x black reader #connie springer x black y/n

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ukiyowi · 5 months

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How Will You Be Remembered?

Note: I'm in the middle of end sem season which is why I've been so offline and like bad w posting, I hope you like this <33

Read from 1 -> 3

Find more at Masterlist

🌷 Pile 1

Hello Pile 1! I will start this off with don't take it to heart, this is not who you are, just how people may remember you or perceive you after you are gone. You may be remembered as someone who was not afraid of showing your vulnerabilities, some people may see you as weak because of this and remember you as someone who did not take enough risks or played it safe too often to the point of your own detriment. They could think you were someone who lacked confidence and had low self-esteem even though you may have "had it all" so people may remember you as someone who had a lot of potential to do great things.

People would also feel like you were the kind of person who had a lot of problems with self-victimisation or self-sabotage where even if you had resources you felt too scared or restricted, almost powerless because of your own mind. They could have thought that you faked a lot of your problems or blew them out of proportion to seem like you have it really bad, even if this is not the case in reality, (remember what I said earlier). You could also be remembered as someone who had issues with romance or in your domestic life, possibly with your partner where you may have been a little possessive or controlling, some sort of jealousy that gets in the way of you being able to completely devote yourself without even a sliver of doubt towards your partner, yeah people could remember you as someone quite ungrounded in that regard. They may also remember you as someone who had a lot of internal familial problems and disharmony possibly with your kids as well.

However! Not everything’s negative, people would also remember you as someone who celebrated their own achievements and had a lot of inner peace and harmony surrounding them. People may recall you to be a team worker and someone who is very ambitious and sincere when it comes to their work. Also someone extremely generous and willing to share their wealth not only materially but also your knowledge, wisdom, resources, time, etc. You would be remembered for being able to go through cycles of constant change and come out better and brighter on the other side, someone who is very good with leaving the past in the past and not looking back once you move forward. To top it all of you could also be remembered as someone who tries to keep the peace and mediate even if they don't want to, almost as if your hand was being forced every time because you had to carry the responsibility of keeping things civil.

If you like this and want morez buy a reading or tip, if you want at [Paid Readings] and ko-fi.com/taagen respectively.

🌷 Pile 2

Hello pile 2! You will be remembered as someone who is extremely intuitive. Maybe you are spiritual yourself and get bad vibes from people that are often correct (or good vibes), maybe you think or feel something is going to take place and let others know, and are dismissed initially before it turns out you were once again correct. So you would definitely be remembered as that, also someone who is very true to their roots and authentic, you can stay close to your culture and traditions and may even carry out conventions at the most with a twist of your own! People would also remember you as an individual who is very abundant, especially financially. Someone who has their business in different domains and tries to capitalise off of a number of ventures, also someone who starts their own ventures! Yeah, you may leave behind a huge sum of money or capital too, that may be inherited by the people around you so that would instantly have you be remembered as someone who is generous and good with their money, people would think you were the kind who never had any monetary issues that you had to face growing up or during your young adult ages even if it may not be true to reality.

You'd also be remembered as someone who is very bright, shines in whatever they do, and someone who may be the mood maker. Like the glue in friendships or workplaces, you would be remembered as someone who connects people with each other, like if you have a friend, and you introduce them to someone else, then those two people become friends even if you drift apart from them, you know what I mean? A little specific however, something that is coming through strongly. You may be remembered as a mentor figure too, like wise and knowledgeable, someone very open to helping others even if it does not benefit you in any way.

Now, some people may also remember you as indecisive, or someone who lacked commitment and that you were shrouded in self-doubt. They could also think that you may have knowingly or unknowingly indulged in gossip that could have been malicious in nature and that you may end up victimising yourself even if you have wronged someone else, you may be recalled as a figure in people's lives where you wronged them, but they had to bear the weight of all the consequences. Some could also think you were apathetic to a large extent and dispassionate about things when alive, that you did not use the resources and talents you may have had productively because of repeating negative cycles of laziness and procrastination which could lead you to not complete projects or meet deadlines.

If you like this and want morez buy a reading or tip, if you want at [Paid Readings] and ko-fi.com/taagen respectively.

🌷 Pile 3

Pile 3 you've got some goo d cards! You may have a lot of people around you and a lot of good friendships/family members and connections in your life who appreciate you because wow! People would remember you as a family person, someone who was very close to their relatives and had the kind of family that one would dream of having. Your children may carry some sort of your legacy as well where they may become very well known, and you would be remembered through them. People would also think that during the course of your life you were someone who got very lucky with marriage or finding your partner, so a lot of how you are remembered also come from your family like your relations with them, maybe your partner as well.

You could also be remembered as someone who is very active when it comes to social justice. Someone who always stands up for what they believe in even if you are in the absolute minority, but this could also come with people thinking you have a way of being forceful and pushy when it comes to wanting what you want, especially when it comes to arguments or conflicts. You may also be remembered as someone who used to challenge convention and play by your own rules.

There is so much familial stuff here, how you'd be remembered for being nurturing and playing a motherly role (regardless of gender) for the people around you as well. Also, remembered as being very confident in your own convictions and being extremely optimistic, like you could have helped people around you look at the brighter side as well.

Okay so this is a little aside, but it was a strong intuitive message that people could also remember you as someone who is accepting of new challenges no matter what, even if it is something that you may not have resources to completely pass obstacles. Also, someone who has a lot of turbulence in their life and ups and downs that may have pushed you to the edge, but this could be taken as inspirational for people, like seeing you go through so much and still make a good life for yourself could make people believe they can do the same, so you could also be remembered in a light of you being an inspiration.

Now moving on, you could lastly be remembered as someone who was not able to fulfil your true passions in your life and someone who could have passed without getting to nurture your inner child enough because of how busy you were nurturing the people around you.

If you like this and want morez buy a reading or tip, if you want at [Paid Readings] and ko-fi.com/taagen respectively.

#tarot readings #tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a card #pac #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #tarot deck #tarot #tarot cards #tarot community #tarot commissions #Spotify

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bwabys-scenarios · 10 months

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Reunited

Part 16

Illumi x Reader x ??????

Part 15

Part 17

taglist: @tsukilover11 @mercyboluthecrazychicken

if you want to be added to the taglist, comment a red heart❤️! Make sure your blog is searchable, or else I won’t be able to tag you!!

Warning: very short and vague mention of torture/violence.

It was beginning to frustrate Kalluto, her innate ability.

He’d only just introduced her to Ten, and she was already mastering it. There was no way she didn’t have prior knowledge of nen, but he could tell she wasn’t lying.

“You’re doing well.”

(Name) glanced at the boy. “You seem upset, Kalluto. Is something wrong?”

Concern flickered in her eyes. He didn’t have it in his heart to tell the kind girl he was slightly jealous of her skill, instead shaking his head.

“Nothing is wrong. Just continue practicing Ten and we’ll move onto Zetsu after lunch.”

—————

Lunch was delivered to them by yet another butler, who served them ham sandwiches, with vegetables and fruit.

“Ooo, strawberries!”

(Name) happily stole a strawberry from Kalluto’s plate, popping it into her mouth. Kalluto frowned. “You have your own strawberries, (Name).”

She shrugged. “A friend of mine said stolen strawberries taste sweeter, though in my opinion…”

She took a strawberry from her plate and placed it on Kalluto’s. “I think they taste the best when they’re shared with a friend.”

Kalluto stared at the strawberry in confusion, his mind racing. Why was she saying these things? Sharing, friendship, that was something that wasn’t allowed in Kalluto’s world. He was meant to kill, and not ask questions. Kalluto wasn’t meant to want anymore than that.

But when she smiled at him, biting into her sandwich he couldn’t help but want to be her friend.

“Friend… I guess I wouldn’t mind being your friend.”

(Name) saw right through him. She’d had her fair share of friends that couldn’t quite understand their feelings. Kalluto reminded her a lot of her childhood friend.

“That’s good, I would’ve been pretty sad if you didn’t want to.”

He huffed, smoothing out the skirt of his kimono. “Women’s feelings are hurt over such strange things.”

(Name) laughs. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, earlier you looked sad when big brother said to not meddle in our family’s business. I don’t understand why that would upset you.”

She quieted suddenly, the air becoming tense. He wished he hadn’t said that.

“… it wasn’t necessarily his words that hurt, more his tone of voice. I haven’t know him long, but he’s never sounded so… harsh.”

She sighed, pulling her knees to her chest. Kalluto tilted his head. “I’ve never seen him act the way he does around you before. He’s almost always harsh.” He admitted.

(Name) raised an eyebrow. “That’s strange…”

“Yeah.”

The two ate in silence, Kalluto stealing glances at the girl every few minutes. Her expression had changed, before it had been cheerful and light, but now there was an emptiness to it, almost as if her energy had been drained.

It hadn’t though, he could see her aura was normal and controlled. Why did she look so… sad then?

“I hope Illumi is alright. Do his jobs usually go well?”

Her words were soft, almost inaudible. Kalluto didn’t know what is was about this woman that made him, someone that had never knew comfort, want to comfort her but he couldn’t help but have the urge to.

He remembered Illumi placing a hand on hers to reassure her, so he copied that action, leaning forward.

“He is always successful and is almost never injured during battle. You have nothing to worry about.”

This seemed to calm her down ever so slightly, the shake in her voice subsiding. “Ah… that’s good.”

(Name) squeezed the boys hand, noticing although it was neat and tidy, his palms were calloused, much more calloused than was normal for a ten year old boy. She didn’t mention it, holding his hand for a moment longer before letting go.

He reminded her of her own siblings, but she couldn’t imagine her siblings having such calloused hands. (Name) was determined to work as hard as she possible could so her family could live a trouble free life, in luxury.

“Now that we finished eating, how about you teach me about Hatsu?”

—————

(Name) trained until an hour before dinner before a butler took her away for another bath and some medical attention. They had a doctor on standby to check on her injuries and make sure she was healing correctly.

After a quick bath, she joined the family in the dining room, this time wearing a simple (fav color) sundress with black Mary-Janes and frilly white socks. Everyone was there but Illumi, her landline of comfort gone, leaving Kalluto in his stead.

Kalluto wasn’t as strong or confident as Illumi, not able to give her the same reassurance as his older brother did, but she appreciated his effort nonetheless.

“Kalluto told me you have already mastered Ten and are on your way to mastering Hatsu!” Kikyo exclaimed, clapping her hands together. (Name) nodded, giving her an uneasy smile.

“Yes, I’m happy my training is going by quickly. I hope to be out of your hair as soon as possible.”

This caused the mother of the Zoldyck children to frown deeply, her nails tapping away at the table again. “Oh, (Name) dear, you are no trouble at all I assure you. It isn’t often we have a guest with such…”

She licked her lips, leaning a hand against her cheek.

“Potential.”

The air was tense and almost electrifying.

Zeno cleared his throat. “(Name), if you don’t mind I’d like to observe your training before my job tomorrow.”

This caused the rest of the family to look to him in shock, Silva dropping his fork. Their eyes turned to (Name), all taking in her form with clearer, more observant eyes.

“Mister Zeno, it would be an honor.” She bowed her head slightly.

‘This girl even has grandfather’s attention. What an interesting turn of events.’ Kikyo thought, her visor never leaving (Name)’s form.

Once she had finished dinner, (Name) scurried away with a quick goodbye, saying she was turning in early so she’d have more energy to train in the morning. This was mostly the truth, she had already planned to retire before 10 pm, but she also wanted to escape all the eyes that followed her every move.

As (Name) walked down the hallway to her room, she ran her fingers along the wall, sighing. She stopped when the wall came to an end, spotting a butler talking over the phone.

“HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?! PUT KILLUA ON THE PHONE!”

(Name) jumped in surprise, quickly concealing herself behind a corner.

‘That was Gon’s voice!’

“I believe you said that you were Gon?” The butler asked. (Name)’s eyes widened. She was right!

She couldn’t hear Gon’s response this time, but assumed he said something along the lines of ‘yes’.

“Let us pretend that Master Killua happens to have a friend named Gon. There is no proof you are Gon.”

“If you put Killua on the phone, he’ll recognize me!”

(Name) could hear him that time, trying not to giggle at his simple way of thinking. Hearing his voice was making her miss her friends. It had been nearly 4 days since she’d seen them!

“By your voice? That isn’t a reliable test.”

The butler held up a device that played Gon’s words back to him.

“That’s was a simple recording. And there are many other ways to mimic a person’s voice.”

(Name) peeked behind the corner to see the butler flipping a coin in one hand, barely illuminated by the candlelight provided by the candleholder on the wall.

“Next you’ll claim that he’d recognize you by sight. There are only a few methods by which you could perfectly mimic someone’s appearance. But it still isn’t impossible.”

“Additionally, it’s possible that someone forced you to approach Master Killua for sinister purposes. As long as that threat exists, I cannot let you meet with Master Killua. The Zoldyck family practices the trade of assassination. Naturally, it has made them enemies. As butlers, our duty is to guard our masters from their enemies. I apologize, but please leave.”

The butler hung up, and (Name) could feel Gon’s frustration bubbling up inside her. She watched as the butler placed the coin on his pocket and disappeared.

‘Huh? Where did he-‘

“Hello, Miss (Name). Do you need someone to escort you to your room?”

(Name) froze in her spot. His voice was coming from behind her now, and she hesitantly turned her head ever so slightly to see his neutral face glaring down at her.

“The person you talked to on the phone… I know him.”

The butler raised an eyebrow. “It isn’t becoming of a lady to listen in on conversations. I’ll inform Mistress Kikyo that you need etiquette lessons.”

(Name) frowned and crossed her arms, now fully facing him. “I want to see my friends.”

He regarded her with a quizzical eye. “Miss (Name), I assume you heard my speech about their voice not being a reliable source of information.”

She rolled her eyes, glaring up at him defiantly. “I know my friends, and I could feel Gon’s aura through the phone. Tell me how someone can mimic that.”

The two had a stand off, (Name) giving him her meanest look(which most would think was cute). He sighed, walking away.

“I won’t take you to them, but if you can find them yourself, you may speak with them.”

——————

(Name) ran to her room, throwing off her clothes and pulling on a tshirt and shorts. She stepped into a pair of running shoes then bolted down the stairs. The girl took two at a time, not caring that several butlers followed her with their eyes as she went.

The night sky was dark, with the stars out and shining down onto the estate. (Name) didn’t stop to take in the beauty of the countryside, instead sprinting towards the path down the mountain.

Waiting for her in the middle of the path was a girl around Gon and Killua’s age, her skin dark and wearing the butler uniform. (Name) stopped, giving herself a moment to catch her breath before calling out to the girl.

“Why are you blocking the path?”

The girl didn’t move, just stared at her. “Hello Miss (Name), my name is Canary. I am here to make sure you don’t injure yourself while walking down the path.”

(Name) tilted her head, standing up fully. “Were you ordered to do this?”

Canary shook her head. “I wasn’t ordered to do this exactly, but Master Illumi asked me to personally watch over you. I can take you down to the guard’s quarters and wait for you in the dark, but you are not allowed to leave Kukuroo Mountain.”

(Name) regarded her with a suspicious look, but followed her down the path anyways.

——————

Canary led her through the forested path, occasionally taking (Name)’s hand when it became too dark for her to see. Canary seemed to know the path like the back of her hand, expertly dodging roots and potholes as they walked.

“The servants quarters are just a minute’s walk that way. The rest of the path is clear, so you’ll be okay alone.”

Canary pointed to the right. “Meet me back here once you’ve finished speaking with your friends. I’ll be waiting.”

“By yourself? Will you be alright?”

Canary’s eyes widened before she collected herself. “Miss (Name) do not worry, I am perfectly fine with being alone in the dark.”

Canary watched (Name) wander off, smiling to herself.

—————

(Name) approached the servant’s quarters, the door sliding open once she got close enough. An old man looked around before spotting her and waving her inside.

“Miss (Name), what a pleasant surprise! When Canary informed me of your visit I made sure to wait for your arrival. My name is Zebro.”

(Name) took her shoes off at the door, smiling up at him. “Are my friends here?”

He nodded, leading her into the living room.

The three boys sat on a couch, Gon’s foot excitedly thumping against the ground.

“Guys!”

(Name) jumped over the couch, pulling them all into a tight hug.

“(Name), you’re alright!” Kurapika exclaimed, a smile stretching out across his face. Leorio patted her head as Gon hugged her right, laughing.

“We’ve been worried about you. How have things been?”

(Name) informed them about her last few days, leaving out the part about nen training. Illumi had warned her not to tell anyone about nen, as it is better for people to be informed by a teacher.

Kurapika frowned when she mentioned Illumi’s tendancy to be… clingy.

“That man has a strange fascination with you. I’m afraid for your safety.” The blond remarked with a frown. Leorio nodded in agreement.

“He’s a creep, I don’t think you should let your guard down around him.”

(Name) sighed. “I mean you aren’t wrong, but he hasn’t hurt me or treated me too unkindly, so until he gives me a reason to run, I’ll stay to return the favor I owe.”

Gon laid his head on her lap, looking up to catch her eye.

“(Name), have you seen Killua?”

She thought back to Illumi’s words that morning.

‘He is on punishment.’

“… illumi said he’s being punished right now. He wouldn’t tell me what kind of punishment it was, but I’m not allowed to see him.”

She glanced at her friends, and nearly flinched from the anger apparent on their faces. Kurapika gripped his weapon as Leorio scowled.

“Can you do me a favor, (Name)?”

She looked down at Gon, who’s expression was unreadable. “Of course, Gon. What do you need?”

“Please find Killua. Tell him I’m here, and that we’re coming to get him.”

(Name) sighed, absentmindedly petting the boys head. “I’ll try my best.”

(Name) left after chatting for a bit and was escorted back to her room by Canary, where she collapsed into bed immediately.

————

The light of the sun poking through her curtains woke (Name) up. It was just after sunrise, so around 7 am. She threw on some more sweatpants and another tshirt before strolling downstairs.

She met Kalluto halfway down, who was heading to her room to wake her up. The boy seemed surprised to see (Name) up so early.

“Illumi told me to come and accompany you to breakfast in the mornings. Although today, we’ll be eating breakfast with grandfather.”

(Name) nodded. ‘Illumi thought of everything to make my stay here more comfortable… I’ll have to thank him later.’

The two walked into the dining hall, Zeno already sat at the table eating his breakfast. The old man looked up and grunted out a greeting before continuing his meal.

“Good morning!” (Name) called, taking the seat opposite of Zeno. She ate her food quickly, standing once she was done.

“My, I haven’t seen someone finish their food that quickly since the last time I witnessed Mike deal with trespassers.”

Zeno watched her with a wry smile on his lips. She blushed lightly.

“Sorry, I’m just excited to get back in the training hall.”

He waved his hand. “Yes, yes. Go ahead and get warmed up, I’ll be there to watch after I finish some business.”

—————

(Name) regretted eating her meal so hastily after running a mile, her stomach heaving when Kalluto instructed her to start her push-ups.

“Next time, eat slower. There’s no rush, the training hall won’t just disappear you know.”

(Name) wanted to whine and complain about her tummy hurting and how cold Kalluto was being, but this was her own fault. She’d rushed to be there, she had to deal with the consequences.

It took her longer than usual to finish her warm up, sweat beading at her forehead. She’d managed not to lose her breakfast, and that was enough for her.

“Alright, back to practicing Zetsu.”

It didn’t take long for (Name) to get that down, Kalluto quickly moving on to Ren.

“Ren focuses on outputting a larger amount of aura then Ten, projecting it outwards explosively. If Ten is defensive, Ren is offensive.” Kalluto explained, waving his hand. (Name) nodded, ushering him to continue.

“It amplifies a nen user’s physical strength and durability and provides a large pool of aura for any advanced techniques or individual you decide to use, albeit at the expense of expending said aura.”

“Advanced techniques?” (Name) questioned, a little excited. Kalluto smacked her on the back of her head with his fan. “Ow!”

“Don’t even think about trying anything advanced yet. Your only task for today is to practice Ren. People say it takes at least a month to be able to prolong one’s Ren outside of battle for 10 minutes. That is your task.”

(Name) rubbed the back of her head, huffing. “Do I just need to try outputting a bunch of my aura?”

He nodded. “Go ahead, try it.”

(Name) did as he asked, letting her aura pool around her. She was only able to do this successfully for 15 seconds before she slid down to her knees in exhaustion.

“Oh god, that feels awful!” She cried. Kalluto helped her back up, the girl nearly falling back over immediately.

“Keep trying. Once you’re able to hold Ren for 30 seconds we’ll break for lunch.”

——————

Kalluto sipped on his soup slowly, watching as (Name)’s forehead beaded with sweat from the effort of maintaining Ren. It had been 3 hours, and she could only successfully hold Ren for 26 seconds before collapsing.

He’d allowed her to take 5 minute breaks between tries, being much easier on her than his older brother had been on him.

“Come on, (Name). You’ve almost got it, try again.”

Kalluto was slowly beginning to realize that (Name) wasn’t like his family. Although she had some innate talent, her body was weak. She would never have the same strength him or his brothers had, but the strength of her will was something he admired.

Each time she fell down, tears threatening to leak from her (e/c) eyes, she pushed herself back up and tried again. The strength it took for a normal person to be able to take so much punishment and come back for more wasn’t something to sneeze at.

“26, 27, 28, 29, 30. Okay (name), you can stop now.”

She didn’t, however, and kept holding Ren. 30 seconds turned into a minute before Kalluto decided to speak up.

“(Name), if you push too hard it will only hurt your progress.”

(Name) wasn’t listening, however, and her Ren was still being maintained. He begun to step forward to shake her out of her concentration, but a hand on his shoulder made him pause.

“Leave her be, Kalluto. If you try and stop her now, you’ll only get yourself hurt.”

Kalluto hadn’t noticed that his grandfather had been watching them until he reached out.

After a total of one minute and thirty seconds, her Ren was finally broken, and she fell onto the floor. Her breath was ragged, sweat dropping onto the cool floor.

“I feel… like someone just threw me in a washing machine and set it to heavy wash.”

“That’s an… interesting way to describe the affects of Ren.” Zeno replied, Kalluto barely holding back a snicker.

(Name) lied on the floor for a good 5 minutes before she was able to talk again.

“So, what’s for lunch?”

———————

The rest of the day was spent slowly progressing her Ren, (Name) able to hold it for 2 minutes before she passed out. Kalluto had to remind her not to go overboard several times before he got it through to her.

“For the next few days you are not to go over 2 minutes practicing Ren at a time, do you understand? I get you want to get your training done, but rushing will do you no good.”

That was the last thing he said to her before she was dismissed.

After another bath, (Name) ate dinner with Kalluto and Zeno. The rest of the family was too busy to join them that night, much to (Name)‘a relief.

“I’m headed to bed, see you tomorrow Kalluto!”

He couldn’t process her pulling him into a hug, giving him a light squeeze before strolling upstairs. The young boy could only watch her go, trying to understand why she gave him affection so freely.

(Name) closed the door to her room, quickly changing into pajamas and falling onto her bed. She reached for her phone, seeing new messages.

Pretty Boy🫶: How was training today? We’ve been working hard to be able to open the testing gate. Make sure you get your rest and eat enough!

Silly<3 sent a picture

Leorio had sent her a picture of him, Kurapika, and Gon sitting in the servants quarters, wearing black vests. They were playing a card game and laughing, Gon looking devastated to have the losing suit.

Strawberries: Training was okay, but please go easy on Gon!! His arm is still broken :(

She saved the picture, giggling to herself. The girl scrolled through her other messages, seeing illumi had texted her as well.

Illumi: I will be home tomorrow morning. Call me when you’ve finished dinner.

Illumi had set his own contact name in her phone, not allowing her to give him his own silly name. She scrolled down to see her another message.

Grumpy Pants: Just finished job. Send you picture of scenery tomorrow.

Her grumpy friend rarely sent pictures of himself, opting to send her pictures of all the places he went to instead. As a person who never traveled because of her empty wallet, she appreciated it greatly.

She sent him a selfie of herself, giving a peace sign.

Strawberries: Headed to bed, be safe!!<3

He answered back quickly.

Grumpy Pants: It’s cold, don’t wear tank top to bed.

She rolled her eyes, but changed anyways. He was usually right about these things, but his worry always felt like him ordering her around.

“Now to call Illumi.”

————

Illumi relaxed against the back of the car seat, tapping his nails against the armrest. He knew his family’s schedule by heart, dinner had been over for at least an hour and she still hadn’t called him.

There was no real reason he asked her to, he just wanted to hear her voice. He’d been away from her for years without batting an eye, but now that he had her back, going without her for more than a day was agony.

The ringing of his cellphone shook him from his thoughts. He opened his phone to see (Name)’s contact, who’d set as “Darling” flashing on the screen. He quickly answered the call, an excited buzz in the air.

“Hello, (Name).”

The line was quiet for a moment, Illumi waiting for her reply patiently. He heard her sigh on the other end, holding his breath. Even her sigh made his heart race, doing backflips in his chest.

“Did your job go well? You aren’t hurt, are you?”

Illumi bit his lip. Her voice was dripping with worry. He could almost imagine her gripping the fabric of her shirt, looking down at her lap as she clutched her phone to her ear.

“Yes, it went well. I am in perfect health. How has your training been going?”

“Mm, okay I guess. Your mom scares me a bit, though.”

He held back a chuckle, instead clicking his tongue. “Don’t say that. Shes just excited to see a… woman in my life.”

(Name)’s silence hung in the air, Illumi regretting his wording immediately.

“What does that mean? She doesn’t think we’re… together… does she?”

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know how parents are. Haven’t you ever had a male friend come around and your parents assume you’re dating?”

“No, I didn’t really have many friends growing up. Well, besides the boy in the photo.”

He pictured her smiling, remembering their time together. Illumi only wished that she could connect the dots and realize that she WAS her childhood friend, but something inside him wouldn’t allow him to just tell her.

Did he want her to chase him? To figure it out and jump into his arms? He didn’t know. It just didn’t feel right to tell her now.

“Well, that’s how it is. Just parents being parents.”

He didn’t believe his own words. Dense as he was, he knew that part of him wanted his parents to push for their marriage. Illumi wouldn’t mind, if it was her. Why didn’t he mind? His confusion on the subject irritated him to no end.

“Ah, alright. You’ll be home in time for breakfast, right?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

She didn’t answer immediately, but he could hear her huff on the other side of the line.

“I… I like being around you. It makes me feel more at ease. This house is strange, but having you here makes thing less scary.”

Illumi didn’t think his heart could beat any faster, but now it felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. Did she realize what she was saying? Was her intent to give him a heart attack?

“I see. I thought you hated me, (Name). You even said so just a few days ago.”

Illumi hated this part of himself, the side of him that wanted to lash out at her because he couldn’t handle his own feelings. He wanted to tease and taunt her into either submitting or running away, but also wanted her to stay and see through his little lies and petty words.

“I’m still mad at you for what you said to killua, but I don’t hate you.”

He frowned. “I said nothing but the truth.”

“You said he was nothing but a killer, Illumi. That’s awful. Are you just an emotionless monster that only finds satisfaction in ending another person’s life?”

“And what if I am?”

The silence that took over was cold, almost causing Illumi to shiver. Once again he pictured her eyebrows furrowing, a scowl taking over her pretty face.

“Then I won’t ever consider you a friend of mine.”

“Who said I wanted to be your friend, (Name)?”

Illumi could tell he had said the wrong thing. He heard her breath hitch in her throat, a shake entering her voice.

“Goodnight Illumi.”

Click.

He stared at his phone for 5 minutes, a million thoughts running through his mind. Illumi ran a hand through his hair, looking out the window into the night sky.

If younger Illumi could see him now, he’d be furious. He never wanted to be the reason for her tears, but his twisted mind wouldn’t allow him to fully surrender his heart to her. He couldn’t even agree to be friends, how would he win her love?

——————

(Name) scrolled through her contacts, clicking on one of her friends names then pressing the call button.

The line rang for 30 seconds before he answered.

“(Name), why you call? It’s nearly midnight for you.”

The man on the other end threw one of his dirtied yellow gloves into the trash along with the bloody pliers he had been using. He waited for her response before talking again.

“What happened?”

He could hear her sniffle on the other end, his eyes widening. “You cry? Why?”

“I just… I just wanna talk to you for a bit. Don’t wanna talk about what happened.”

He leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing. “Alright. But if someone make you cry, I’ll kill them.”

The two chatted for a bit, the man mostly listening to (Name) blubber about her day and how tired she was. She tried her best to hold back her tears, but he could tell just by her voice that she had been crying before she’d called him.

“I always will come get you. Don’t care where, or when.”

He was usually cold and calloused, even to her, but when it came to her safety or emotional well-being he was a lot kinder. (Name) wiped away a stray tear.

“No, it’s fine, thanks for talking with me. I should probably get to sleep. Illumi comes home in the morning, so I’m gonna get up early to avoid him.”

“Avoid him? Why?”

It’s not like he wanted her to be around him, but for her to want to avoid him meant the man had done something to earn her scorn.

“… no reason. Goodnight, sleep tight!”

“… goodnight.”

They hung up at the same time, the man setting his phone down on the counter before breathing in and out to calm himself.

“One more thing happen, I go to get her. Don’t care what she says.”

He looked over to the kitchen table where his latest victim was strapped onto it. The man struggled against his bonds, tears streaking down his bearded face.

“Now, tell me the password to the safe before I have to actually hurt you.”

#x reader #anime x reader #headcanon #reader insert #requests open #smut requests #hxh imagines #hxh x reader #hxh illumi

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chloessleepystories · 8 months

Text

Chocolate Fog

Mind control, Drugged, Male/Female, Male Dominant

This was sparked by a patron's three-word prompt: Airplane. Eyes. Chocolate.

***

The setting sun was glaring through the little airplane window, so Amber, squinting, lowered the shade halfway. She was a pretty white girl in her early 20s, blonde, with a thin sweater stretched over generous breasts. Her seatmate had noticed them – noticed her beauty – but hadn't been creepy about it, and she appreciated that. They were only an hour into their 4-hour flight, and she didn't want to feel creeped out the whole time.

He seemed like a gentleman. Older man, with dusky skin and a trim white beard. Dr Suresh or something like that, he'd said, with just a hint of an accent, as he'd smiled and exchanged pleasantries before takeoff. She got a warm feeling from him – partly from his nice smile, partly from his rich, deep, soothing voice, but mostly from his eyes – they sparkled with warmth and mischief, and there seemed to be golden flecks in those kindly, chocolate-brown eyes.

The snacks and drinks trolley was coming down the aisle. She found she was really looking forward to that little packet of peanuts. She pulled down the little tray, moving her paperback to the empty seat beside her. How fun air travel was! And how cool that the flight wasn't fully booked, so she had room to spread out. Dr Suresh had spread out too – he'd laid a small case on the seat between them when he first sat down. So that was nice – a shared space, but also a buffer.

She ordered her peanuts and a Diet Coke from the nice stewardess.

"There you go. And for you, sir?"

"A scotch and soda, please. Neat."

"That's all?"

"That is all. Thank you. Oh – a blanket, perhaps, when you have the chance."

Amber leaned over, once the stewardess had moved on. "No peanuts? I think the peanuts are my favorite part. For some reason, peanuts on a plane just taste better than peanuts anywhere else!"

He chuckled in his throat, as she giggled. "This is true. Perhaps someone should do a study as to why. Me, I do not need them, for I bring my own snacks." He patted the small sample case between them. "The finest chocolate bars no one has heard of – yet. New, from my company."

"Wait – you make chocolate?? That's awesome! What are you, Willy Wonka?" He laughed again at her little joke. She liked his laugh. "Wait a second, I thought you said earlier you were a scientist?"

"This is indeed true. I am a scientist," he said, and his eyes twinkled. "There is a lot of science that goes into making good candy. Did you know this?"

He was already opening the case, so she decided he didn't mind talking about it. "So what's special about it?"

The bars were packaged more like an extra thick Hershey bar than a Snickers or 3 Musketeers – a dark-brown sleeve around a foil wrapper. The sleeve said "Chocolate Fog."

"Our chocolate is made from a very special bean just recently discovered deep in the Amazon rainforest," he said in his rich, melodic voice. "Its flavor is unlike any other kind of chocolate previously tasted outside of Peru. In our labs, it goes through a special process designed to enhance its unique properties, until we arrive at what I believe is the best chocolate bar ever created."

He peeled open one end of one bar to show it was segmented. He broke off a chunk and held it out. "You will have a taste, and you will agree, yes?"

Well, how could she refuse free chocolate? She popped the thick square in her mouth, and her eyes lit up at the explosion of taste on her tongue. "Mmmm! It's so rich, and ... nutty? But also there's a softness, like ... almost a little nougat in there?"

"That is what gives it its ‘fog,' I believe," he murmured. "That airy quality."

"It's amazing!" she said, and drooled a little speaking around a mouthful of chocolate. "Could I ... Could I have a little more?"

"You may have the whole bar, dear lady," he said, and the golden flecks in his eyes sparkled as he smiled. "I have plenty more ..."

Half an hour later, the plane interior was much darker. The sun had finished setting, and people were dozing, or watching movies with their headphones. Only a few overhead pinpoint lights lit up the interior gloom.

Amber had a tummy full of chocolate. She'd finished the bar in a surprisingly short time, and had been allowed to devour a second too. Now, she leaned back in her seat, feeling the gentle rocking of the plane and hearing its dull roar, and feeling ... lulled. Lulled into a repose.

Lull, lull, lull. What a funny word, she thought. Lol. Lull. Lulllllled ...

She looked over at Dr Suresh, with a dopey smile and lidded, glazed eyes. "Thasss so good ..." she whispered. "Bess chocklit ever ... It makes me, like, happy ..."

The chocolate taste coated the inside of her mouth. It felt like was coating her brain, too, which was sluggish. Thoughts were moving slowly through the rich, chocolatey fog in her head.

"I am very glad to hear that," said her seatmate. "You look like you are enjoying it thoroughly."

He raised his armrest and, moving his sample case and the blanket he'd gotten from the stewardess, slid into the seat beside her.

"I am always interested in learning more about the special properties of these special beans. So I do enjoy finding more test subjects. Tell me – and please be honest, this is for posterity – how do you feel?"

She giggled, quietly. "I feel ssoooo goooood ..." she whispered. "Like, rosy! Like no worries, no stress, all the tension I was feeling in my body that I didn't even know I was carrying, has melted away! Like every cell in my body has gone on a happy lil vacation!!!"

"Well, that does sound delightful," he said, making a few notes on a small pad.

"Whadid you ssay was in there?"

"A mild sedative to slow the limbs, dopamines and opioids that produce a gentle euphoria, similar to being pleasantly intoxicated. Some components of the bean that inhibit activity in the prefrontal cortex and make you highly suggestible, that we have ... enhanced. And of course some pretty damn good chocolate."

He smiled, and his teeth seemed to shine in the dim light of the plane interior. She could see his eyes glittering, almost like a cat's.

"... Huhh?" she slurred. There was a bit of chocolate-brown drool at one corner of her mouth. She seemed to be having trouble focusing on him.

"Now," he went on. "Here's my question. I know the chocolate makes you happy. Makes you dopey. And it sometimes can be addictive. What I don't know is ..." And he leaned closer. "Does the chocolate make you horny?"

She blinked, and focused a little bit, looking deeply into his eyes. "H-horny?"

"Yes. You can feel it now, can't you? You can feel the rich, melting pleasure coursing through you, from your tongue up to your brain, and down through your whole body ... Melting away your inhibitions, covering your objections with flavor and pleasure." She was captivated by his eyes, dancing and sparkling. She hardly had to listen to his words. "The chocolate fog fills your whole body, making your nipples erect, yes? Your tummy tingle. Your arms and legs are like lead, heavy with the weight of their happiness, and your pussy ... oh, your pussy is singing, and buzzing, drinking in the rich, chocolatey heat. It's getting so aroused, so needy. Why, if you think about it – and it is hard to think, isn't it? – but if you think about it, you can feel your whole body, and all your mind, melting into your needy, foggy pussy. If only you could lift your arms, you would be desperate to pinch your nipples. Desperate to rub your clit. As it is, you can't help but squeeze your thighs together, around that heat, that aching need ... Isn't that right? You're squeezing right now, aren't you?"

She couldn't look away from his eyes. She could barely blink. Her eyes were watering. She nodded. Her whole body was consumed with hunger – no longer for chocolate, but for sex. For carnal pleasure. For cock. Yes! She needed to be filled with cock! That's what she craved now!!

She whimpered, quietly, in that dozing, dark plane filled with unknowing passengers, staring into the eyes of her kindly seatmate.

He moved the blanket over her lap without breaking eye contact, and pressed his hand into her crotch under its cover. He raised her skirt and stroked a finger along the moist heat of her panties-covered mound. She moaned and twitched, her mouth falling open, staring into his eyes.

"Please ..." she whispered. "Please, I'm so horny ..."

"My only question," he said, smiling directly into her eyes, "is whether you would have gotten so horny if I hadn't suggested it. Did I implant that thought into your suggestible brain? Or does the chocolate actually make you horny by itself?"

He moved her panties aside, and stuck a finger deep into her wetness. Her eyes filled silently with gratitude, already dreaming how she wanted to spend the whole weekend with him, letting his fingers and his cock and his chocolate do everything he wanted to with her.

"Every time, I tell myself I'm going to just wait and see," he went on, stroking her sex, already bringing her close to her first mind-breaking orgasm. "I won't say a word, just observe. But every time ... well ... I can't help it. I tell you how good your body feels. And it does."

She grasped his strong arm in both her little hands, and gasped in ecstasy, trying to be as quiet as possible and mostly succeeding.

"Six times now, and every time, I ruin the experiment. I just can't stop talking! It is a failing. I am a bad scientist."

He grinned.

"But you forgive me ... Don't you?"

And his eyes sparkled.

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fryandleelasbigfling · 1 year

Text

i think leela deserves more appreciation than she gets.

i mean obviously there’s the people who just kind of degrade her into a pinup girl, we can all agree that’s lousy. but i think even a lot of good natured fans will write her off as the no-nonsense straight man to fry and bender, the “one with the braincell,” the one who has everything together and isn’t really willing to get silly like the boys.

and yeah that can be true, especially in earlier seasons. but i think people underappreciate leela’s development and the fact she really is a messed-up, complicated, weird woman.

for one thing, her kickass fighting abilities are well understood, but her kung-fu skill emerged as a way to work out her anger from being bullied, so she often resorts to violence as a defense mechanism even when it isn’t necessarily needed. in “hell is other robots” she gets freaked out by the mosh pit and beats up the other concertgoers, “bender’s game” is about how her anger can overtake her and even being punished for violence won’t faze her, and in “lethal inspection” she outright admits violent outbursts are how she copes with mortality. “anthology of interest 1″ shows that she will descend into a murderous rampage at the slightest provocation if she had just a bit worse impulse control.

she’s also really stubborn! like, she will have a full-on mental breakdown if someone insists she can’t do something, because she has such an issue with being treated as unwanted and “worthless” that she needs to prove herself as highly capable of anything. "the sting," “mobius dick” and “bender’s game” are both great examples, as is the back half of “bender’s big score” -- note the sharp turn from “happy, calm, in love, willing to let other people handle the situation” to “insists on taking charge, kicking ass, and self-isolating” after lars leaves her at the altar.

also as great as it is that she’s more organized than fry, this veers into some weird habits like freezing all her dinners a month in advance and having a very minimalist apartment for a while. this plays into how anxious she gets about taking risks. she is very pedantic about grammar and can get ridiculously overzealous about keeping her crew safe and healthy. however she gets bored and frustrated when she doesn’t have excitement in her life.

she is very bad at organizing papers, preferring to just hide things away even when they become too big to ignore (symbolic!), completely failing when she steps in for hermes in “lethal inspection.” she also forgot to vote despite preaching about it all episode in “a head in the polls.” she is not as infallible as she wants people to believe! she just tries harder to justify it to herself than others, because she also has a severe guilt complex -- if she admits to herself that she did something wrong, she feels she needs to be punished.

she has a lonely, mundane home life. she can struggle with creativity and settle on an unexciting option (i.e. wanting to use superpowers for “humdrum activities” in “less than hero”), which is where fry’s tendency to blurt out any idea that comes to mind comes in handy.

despite being fairly fashionable, she sometimes struggles with traditional femininity. not just bc of her attitude and mutations but also her feet and breath stink lmao. she also has a bit of a potty mouth and has said “fuck” (bleeped out) in at least three episodes. she's a terrible singer (despite katey herself being a great singer).

she is implied to have a “hedonistic” past and used to drive around in a mausoleum as a teenager. she went to her prom alone with a dress made of carpet remains. she dropped out and “bummed around india for a while” after college.

she has a massive soft spot for animals, including “gross” ones like leeches, and despite all her violence, she usually backs down if it means a (perceived) innocent animal will be hurt. this can sometimes backfire on her (i.e. “into the wild green yonder”). she is very protective and empathetic towards living creatures, probably cuz she never had anybody looking out for her. she likes to read books about animals to relax.

she regularly visits the orphanarium and is very concerned with being a good role model for those kids, emphasizing especially with sally. it is repeatedly implied in the (admittedly semi-canon) comics that she wants to be a mother.

she plays with her hair when she’s nervous or flirty. she had an anxiety attack and physically froze up when she thought a mutant was stalking her. she had a bedwetting problem as a child and even her warden still holds it over her head.

she has repressed mental illness related to her lack of family growing up and has a desperate need for companionship, but sets high standards so she won’t get her heart broken first. whenever she’s single, she is very cynical about love and doesn’t do well seeing happy couples.

she seems very obsessed with normality and stability which is why she often seeks men of high status to date, even if they turn out to be jerks. however, she outgrows this after meeting her family, as she becomes extremely attached to them despite their low status and embraces her mutant culture quickly.

her mutations are not limited to her eye. she not only has a whole episode about her now-cured genetic mutant disease, but she occasionally lays an egg and has talons on her elbows. depending on the episode, she can be quite disabled by her single eye due to her lack of depth perception. there’s also the singing boil but that episode sucks lol

she also can get really horny lol. once she’s dating fry steadily, she tends to initiate things a lot more, even in public. i think it’s sometimes more of a fanservice thing but it’s always funny to see her so down bad, especially in the comedy central era

she likes bender because of his “in your face attitude” and often has a playful dynamic with him despite disapproving of his lack of morals. she doesn’t like amy a lot of the time but they can get along and comfort each other when the time is needed. i’m not even getting into her and fry because that’s its own post.

overall i just love leela a lot, she’s such a weird, complicated, fascinating character and i could go on about her All Day.

#turanga leela #leela #futurama #sorry this became a leela wiki page i couldnt decide what to cut. its all important to me.

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arealphrooblem · 10 months

Text

A Favor for a Favor Part 4

Part One Here

CW for the fic overall: kissing/fade to black off screen sex, mentions of non-consensual drugging, non-graphic wound care, off screen murder mention

Synopsis:

When Roxanne -- Agent name Rocket -- is back-stabbed by a friend and given a serum that drains her of her powers and leaves her helpless, she has no choice but to turn to the one person she can't trust: Her nemesis -- a politician and king of the underworld. With her powerless and in the palm of his hand, what he decides to do with her is greatly influenced by their chance meeting as teenagers that neither of them have been able to forget.

The Present

When Roxanne’s hands started to resemble her grandmother’s, she reluctantly crawled out of the tub and into the soft clothes left for her -- sweatpants and a dark t-shirt. Both felt buttery, sinfully soft against her skin. She used the brush by the sink and combed her wet hair into a single braid before stepping out.

The combination of the hot bath and the pain killers made her sleepy and relaxed. She hurt still, but it was a distant echo of the pain she had earlier. Roxanne could think again, beyond the blind panic and excruciating pain.

And that was a problem because the last thing she wanted to do right now was think about all the implications of what happened to her.

John waited for her in the living room, reading on one of the arm chairs. Dressed out of his suit and in soft pants and a henley (they almost matched), he looked so painfully domestic, so terribly innocent.

Her traitorous heart squeezed in her chest, as it did so many times when she watched him through the camera lens. He breezed through her work many times after he won the mayor race and then, more recently, the senate race.

And every time the sight of him ignited a blistering cocktail of rage at what he allowed himself to become: this master manipulator who lied as often as he breathed, putting on a wholesome face when he ran the criminal underground, and a persistent longing that she couldn’t shake off. Like deep down she still thought she could save him.

Which was stupid and unhealthy but it wouldn’t leave her.

Looking at him now, bathed in the soft glow of the lamp beside him, reading the exact kind of cheesy sci-fi book her father had in his library, she couldn’t shake the feeling that underneath the darkness he cultivated to survive was someone good, someone worthy of care.

He jerked his gaze up from his book.

“I was beginning to wonder if you had drowned,” he said idly.

If he heard her thoughts about him, he didn’t show it.

“That would solve a lot of problems for you if I did.”

“Yes, having the dead body of an Agency Hero in my bathtub definitely solves problems for me. Come here.”

He opened the first aid kit and took out gauze, medical tape, antibiotic cream and bandages. Roxanne found herself stepping forward to obey without even thinking of it. A thread of unease wound through her. Had he expanded his powers to actual mind control?

“I can only powerfully suggest what you think you want to do anyway,” he said.

“It’s so fucking creepy when you do that,” she complained as she settled next to him.

“My apologies,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “It’s hard to stay out after being blocked for so long.”

“I can’t even feel you in there anymore.”

“That’s the goal.”

He took her left hand in his and dabbed Neosporin on it with a Q-tip, his touch still impossibly gentle. The intimacy of it made her squirm, stomach twisting.. She could almost believe in this moment that he might have some humanity still left in him.

It was a dangerous, stupid thought.

“What's going to happen to me,” she asked softly, “now that you’ve got me right where you want me?”

He placed a bandage on top of her knuckles and began wrapping the gauze tape around it.

“ . . .This is not where I want you.”

She snorted. “Really? Me powerless and vulnerable and at your total mercy is not what you’ve dreamed of for years?”

He said nothing for a long moment, focusing on securing the bandage tight and taping it down before moving onto the next hand.

“If I told you where I actually wanted you, it might scare you away,” he murmured finally.

“Please tell me this penthouse apartment doesn’t come with a torture dungeon,” she joked, hoping to God it was just a joke.

“I keep my torture dungeons at the docks in old warehouses.”

“We’re not going to make a surprise return trip are we?”

Pointed silence followed her question as he put intense focus on wrapping her other hand. He was messing with her, right? He had to be. Why the bath, the tender medical care, why take her home if he only intended to hurt her later?

His fingers slid gently into her hair, turning her head to the left as he searched for the cut above her ear.

“If you’re so worried about what I might do to you, why did you come to me?”

Roxanne swallowed, her gaze darting away.

“You’re a mind reader,” she said, stiffening. “You should know the answer.”

“I want to hear you say it out loud.”

She hissed as his fingers brushed over the cut in her hair. He leaned forward, lifting her hair to get a closer look. The woodsy, spicy scent of his cologne, which probably cost more per ounce than her electric bill, danced just under her nose. She could turn her head and kiss him.

“I didn’t have anyone else I could trust,” she whispered.

He chuckled, a low rumble. “Since when do you trust me?”

“I didn’t because you were an enemy of the Agency. But now I can’t trust the Agency.”

“And,” he prompted.

“And . . .I thought I would be safe with you.”

Admitting it felt like handing him a knife and offering her throat. The possibility that he would hurt her had always occurred to her. And logically, that’s what she expected. But something in her gut told her that he wouldn’t and it went against all reason.

He dabbed more Neosporin on his finger and pressed it gently over the cut.

“I was safe with you, all those years ago. You will be safe with me now.”

She believed him.

The spare bedroom sat tucked away behind the library. Roxanne glanced around just enough to note the dark jewel tone colors of the decor before collapsing into the bed and passing out.

She didn’t stir for fourteen hours. When she did finally rise, she felt like a zombie digging out of their own grave. Everything hurt. Everything.

“Finally. I was about to do the spoon test.”

John appeared in the doorway. The smell of something divine wafted from the open door.

“Is that . . .coffee?” she croaked.

“It could be. You should get up and find out.”

She did so with a groan, hobbling out through the study and into the kitchen like someone’s grandma. The weight of his gaze followed her long before his footsteps. The kitchen had a bar with tall swivel chairs that she slowly clambered into.

“Take these first,” he said, pushing the bottle of Ibuprofen and a glass of water over to her. “How do you like your coffee?”

“Right now I like that it exists,” she said.

“Excellent. You can have as much as you want -- after you tell me everything that happened last night.”

“Are you seriously bribing me with coffee?”

“No. I’m holding the coffee hostage until I get information.”

He took a long, pointed sip from his own mug. Her mouth fell open.

“You’re diabolical,” she hissed.

“And you’re stalling.”

“Is this another power trip just to hear me say what you could read for yourself?”

He pinned her down with a stare that made her feel like sitting in the principal’s office.

“You refuse to think about it and I find it tedious to sift through the myriad random thoughts that run through your mind just to find answers you should be giving me yourself. Now quit being childish and tell me everything.”

It spilled from her in spurts and false starts. It was humiliating to admit how blindly she had trusted Erik, a fellow agent and friend, when he asked to meet with her that evening long after everyone else had gone home. She didn’t even think to question him when he took her into the service elevator -- the one with no cameras.

Hell, her first thought when he plunged the syringe into her wasn’t even betrayal. It could have been a vaccine to something from a powered villain. It wasn’t until she felt a strange, heavy exhaustion flood her limbs that something felt wrong. When the elevator doors opened to the basement, she tried to blur away and fell to her knees instead.

“Did he attack you?” John asked, voice slow and deadly.

“I attacked him first. I thought he was some kind of shape shifter, targeting heroes one on one. Even then I didn’t think it was -- him.”

“And then he hurt you.”

“ . . yeah.”

She swallowed, eyes burning. It was made painfully clear just how much she depended on her powers to fight when he beat her soundly and in seconds -- head thrown against the wall, kicked in the ribs, kneed in the mouth and nose.

“He left me there and walked out like nothing happened.”

To her horror, tears slipped out the corners of her eyes. She pressed the hells of her hands against them, as if she could stem them from that alone.

“I know you think I’m naive and stupid,” she said shakily. “But I don’t understand why.”

He pulled her hands gently away from her face. “You are naive, but you’re not stupid. You worked with him for years, you had no reason not to trust him. Tell me, what is his Agent name?”

“Why? Do you want to send him a thank you card?”

“No. I want to kill him.”

The look in his eyes was downright terrifying. She had only seen John’s public face, the one that won him so many elections. The winsome, handsome, boyish smile with perfect white teeth. This reminded her of the John she first met, half feral and ready to stab anyone in the face.

Of course, he only got his wealth and his elections from his power. If he lost that, well . . . .He’d be worse off than her. No wonder he looked so pissed.

“Shadow.”

John’s mouth thinned into a tight, grim line. Erik patrolled at night due to his ability to travel through darkness. Undoubtable they had run ins before. Roxanne wasn’t the only one on the quest to dismantle John’s unground organizations.

“Did he say anything to you before he left?”

The memory was hazy from pain, but she thought hard.

“Something like . . .that I wasn’t cut out for this work. That he was doing me a favor.”

“I see.”

“I don’t know if he was working alone or if it was really even him or if the Agency told him to do it. I don’t know anything and I don't know how to find out without telling the whole freaking world that I’m a sitting duck!”

Her voice started cracking at the end and she bit the inside of her cheek hard to stop herself from breaking down. John waited her out quietly, his expression hard as stone.

“Can I have my coffee now?” she asked after a few minutes, throat tight.

His eyes softened into something that looked dangerously like pity.

“Yes.”

Part five here

#hero x villain #enemies to lovers #my writing #writeblr #a favor for a favor #dark villain

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lying-hyperion-jackass · 5 months

Text

the odyssey of recollection

the dark urge x enver gortash

rating: mature | word count: 1701

warnings: durge typical violent thoughts

notes: i am not immune to durgetash. this has been rattling around my brain since my first dark urge run. hope you enjoy <3

You can rarely sleep these days.

The darkness inside you roils and pulses the moment you lay down, in sweet anticipation of the nightmares that will overtake you.

Despite the assurances of your companions that they would prevent any further tragedy, the terror that you will lose control of yourself again hangs heavy over your head.

But tonight you find something else is keeping you awake. An itch in your mind demanding to be scratched.

So you creep from your bedroll and out into the darkness of Baldur’s Gate. Without much thought, your feet carry you to Wyrm’s Rock. The fort feels even more imposing shrouded in shadow, towering over both Rivington and the lower city beyond.

The guards allow you to pass without so much as a glance, a fully staffed crew despite the hour. You marvel at the level of trust that has been placed in you. It only makes you more curious.

You find him seated in his office, behind an almost comically large wooden desk, perhaps meant to make him look more official, more imposing.

He looks small. Weak.

When he looks up at you, there is no change in his expression. “I must say I am impressed with your speed and efficiency as always.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“I told you not to come here until you had dealt with Orin and acquired her Netherstone. And here you stand, mere hours later.” He sits back in his chair, eyes traveling the length of you in a way that makes something inside of you shiver.

“You know me,” you say simply in response, frozen in place halfway between his desk and the door. You can’t bring yourself to move closer.

Gortash’s mouth turns up into the barest hint of a smile. “I do. I thought I made that quite clear in our earlier conversation.” His clawed gauntlet clicks on the desktop where his hand rests. “That does not explain why you are here. And without your compatriots this time.”

“I know that I am…” you begin, but the words turn to ash in your mouth. Monster. Murderer. Bhaalspawn. “I know what I am. But I don’t know who I am.”

He nods. “And you would trust me to fill in the gaps for you?”

The black pit inside you twists. Look how sure of himself. How smug. He thinks he has the upper hand. Remind him of who you are.

You swallow it down. “I don’t have a lot of other options.”

There’s a beat as you stare each other down, but eventually, Gortash rises, circling his desk and coming to lean on the other side, just a few feet closer to where you stand. “You are as I said. A companion in this little plot of ours. A reliable teammate, dedicated to the cause.”

Your mind wanders back to the letters you’d found in the Oubliette, letters you now recognized must have been written in your own hand. You had admired this man in front of you. Spoke of him with a strange kind of fondness.

“Was I like Orin?” You ask instead. Wondering if you were the mindless, chaotic, cruel follower of your Father everyone expected you to be.

Gortash winces. “Gods no. I would never have willingly entered into this with someone like her. You were different. You understood strategy, timing. The importance of control,” he says, the strange fondness you heard in your writing creeping into his voice as well. “I like to think you appreciated those same things in me.”

“How long had we known each other?”

“Ten years.”

“How did we meet?”

“I sought you out. You had quite the reputation.”

You think carefully about what else would be useful to know. “Why does Orin want you dead?”

“I imagine for the same reason I want to be rid of her. Our visions of the future of Baldur’s Gate do not align,” he says, before inclining his head to you. “Not the way that ours once did.”

You search his features. Just as it was before his coronation, you see no trace of deception. No reason not to believe what he’s telling you. You imagine that future. The Tyrant Lord and his Assassin.

The urge inside you recoils again. Before you can realize you’ve done it, you’ve crossed the space. He’s taller than you, but that doesn’t stop your hand from gripping his throat and shoving him back against his own gaudy desk.

“I do not share anything with you. I will be the one whose sword carves bloody the whole of the coast. I will be the one left standing,” you find yourself snarling at him.

You’re disappointed to see no fear in his eyes. He does not shrink back from you as he should. Instead he takes one clawed finger and touches it to your chin. “There you are,” he says softly.

Your heart is racing and you blink, moving to step away from him, but he catches your wrist and holds you in place. “You seemed so different now. So righteous,” he says. “You and your little band of heroes. All along hiding away the deepest parts of you. How does it feel to be seen?”

Swallowing hard, you yank your hand away and this time he lets you.

As if he could let you do anything. You could destroy him. His blood would paint the walls so beautifully.

Looking at him, something else turns inside you, pooling low in your belly. The question on the tip of your tongue feels like one that has already been answered but you have to ask. You have to know. “We were…” you trail off.

“Perhaps I know you more intimately than you anticipated,” he says, still relaxed against the edge of his desk. Before you can ask another question he continues. “Neither of us expected it. But it was a boon for our partnership, even if others disagreed.”

“Orin was terribly jealous of you. Of the power you held. The favor with Bhaal.” He looks down, almost contrite. “I fear that our relationship may have been what drove her over the edge.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “If we were so close, why didn’t you come after me?”

The muscle in his jaw twitches slightly. “She told me you were dead. I had little reason to doubt her abilities.”

Liar. Weakling. Coward.

You take a tentative step towards him again. “No. You knew.” The knowledge comes to you with absolute clarity. “But coming for me would jeopardize your position.”

The blackness inside of you writhes joyously, calling the violence to the surface again. This time you embrace it, you imagine ripping his throat out with your teeth, finally quieting his constant lies. “So you left me there. To. Rot,” you spit.

“As if you would not have done the same to me,” he growls back, standing up to his full height.

Your mouth splits into a wide, feral grin. Your body sings in his presence, free in a way you have not been since you awoke aboard the Nautaloid. Your companions, your lovers, they all hoped for you to be something else. Something new. The leader, the hero, the unflinching ally.

It was exhausting. Constant rebellion against your nature.

Isn’t it easier to embrace what you really are?

His eyes search your face, frozen in anticipation of what you might do next.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me,” you ask, staring up at him.

He doesn’t answer you. Instead he leans down and presses his lips to yours. It's a searing, violent kiss. His golden clawed fingers dig into your skin through your thin camp clothes. You’re pressed so tightly together that you can feel his rabbit heart pounding in his chest.

Prey so eager to be devoured by predator.

You part your lips to bite into his and copper floods your mouth. He groans, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead he leans in, pulling you impossibly closer.

The urge screams at you to force him to his knees, slit his throat and bathe in his ichor. But some other part of you, tangled in memories that were stolen, aches for a different kind of submission from him.

He reaches beneath you and lifts, turning to set you roughly on his desk, crowding between your thighs and pulling you into another kiss. Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging hard, earning you another pitiful moan.

“Gods I missed this,” he says against your lips, hands wandering underneath your tunic. The scent of him surrounds you, some kind of expensive, spiced perfume, and memories flash through your shattered consciousness.

The two of you, tangled up in every conceivable way. The feeling of him around you, on top of you, inside you, Reverence and malice in equal parts every time he looked at you from his knees. The taste of his sweat, his blood, It’s overwhelming, intoxicating, the most you’ve been able to remember of your life before.

Before. Before Orin cast you aside like a broken toy to be tormented at the hands of Balthazar’s sadistic lackeys. Before this tadpole squirmed into your brain. Before the iron grip of your devotion to your father had slackened enough for you to taste freedom.

You don’t need freedom. Kill the Lordling. Take his stone. Then claim your throne.

Your eyes snap open and you shove him back, hard enough to send him stumbling. He looks at you with blood on his mouth. He doesn’t look upset, just curious. Mind working five steps ahead of whatever it is you might do next.

Pushing down the squirming darkness inside you takes considerably more effort than it did a few minutes ago, but you manage. You stand, and move carefully around him towards the door.

“I’ll take care of Orin. But after that we’re done,” you say sharply, turning on your heel and leaving the office before he can say anything else.

Back in your bedroll you find sleep is no more within reach than it was before you went. Only now instead of your bloody visions, you find yourself plagued by hazy memories of yourself, and a desperate desire you know you cannot sate.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #enver gortash #durgetash

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samobservessonic · 5 months

Text

We open this issue on a bunch of badniks tormenting a young boy called Tufftee, because like in the early Archie comics, the badniks could talk when the plot requires them to. Once they introduce a larger villain roster, there’ll be less call for them to talk Regardless, Tufftee is interesting because he’s the younger brother of a much better-known Sonic character��

…Sally Acorn!

Now, I’m a big fan of Sally in general, so I’ve been looking forward to getting to this story, which I didn’t realise would turn up so quickly. She only actually appears at the beginning and end of the story, but she’s here! It’s Sally! I also find it a funny coincidence that over five years later, Sally would also be given a brother in the Archie Comics, albeit an older brother called Elias. Now, I do genuinely think that these two characters were made wholly independently of each other and their creators probably didn’t even knew the other character exists (especially since I believe this is Tufftee’s only appearance), but it’s just kind of wild that out of all the characters to randomly give a brother to, both comics chose Sally

Anyway, after Tails rudely awakens Sonic (who is less than happy about that), Sally reveals that her brother wanted to play hero like Sonic and borrowed a pair of his old power boots, which Sonic thinks could still contain a bit of his power. Sonic races off before Tails has a chance to ask what to do and then we get the usual page of Sonic racing through zones, doing action hero stuff. I don't really talk about these parts as much, but I like that they include them as a “this is Sonic doing stuff like he does in the games” thing Speaking of stuff from the games, it’s only a cameo here, but we get our first appearance of the Special Zone:

Now, in StC, the Special Zone has a narrative importance that it doesn’t have in most other Sonic spin-offs. It’s treated as a place within itself and it’s also home to the Chaotix of all people, but we’ll get to that later. For now, Sonic has Tufftee to save

Which he achieves easily enough. We get a few pages of Tufftee being tormented by the badniks, before Sonic comes along to defeat them and rescue him. I love that one of the critters in that panel above straight up looks like someone's pet cat

Tufftee manages to save Sonic at the last minute, which reassures him in his own mind that he’s a hero, even if Sonic isn’t very enthusiastic about it. Also, I didn’t post this panel, but there was a part earlier on where we see that Tufftee couldn’t control the speed that the shoes magically granted him, as a little “there’s more to being Sonic than just going really fast”

We end this issue with the siblings being reunited and Sonic bluntly taking his shoes back from Tufftee, with the warning that they only work for him. Like I said before, I don’t believe we see Tufftee again after this? I can understand why, since StC already has Tails as the younger character working hard to prove himself to his hero, so we don’t need another character basically filling that same role in the comic. Even so, I like it when Tufftee appears with Sally in StC fanwork. Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone make an AU where Sally has both her brothers, Tufftee and Elias, but idk I think it might be interesting? Sally has a lot of middle sibling traits already Also, to wrap us up, I just wanted to talk about the art here, which is a vastly different style to the first two issues. For this issue, we had Casanovas on art duty and, while I haven’t been posting about the non-Sonic stories, this more-detailed style is actually closer to the high-fantasy styles used in the other comics featured in StC at the time. It’s definitely a ‘your mileage may vary’ sort of thing, but I like it purely for the nostalgia of this era of StC. We’ll be seeing a lot more of the fantasy-setting angle in regards to Tails’s backstory at some point as well

#sam observes sonic #sonic the comic #tufftee acorn #sonic the hedgehog #sally acorn #miles tails prower #stc issue 3

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theliterarywolf · 1 year

Note

RE : Welcome Home r34.

My position is that disregarding Clown's wishes is shitty, but also this is the internet and porn of things that get popular is kind of inevitable. You can mitigate it by politely asking not to, and most will listen. But R34 artists are kind of a stubborn contrarian bunch (especially if they hang around places like 4chan) and telling them no even in the tactful way Clown did would probably just spur them to go "Nyeeeeehhhh fuck you I won't do what you tell me" And what makes it worse is that such a position becomes easier to justify if you're someone who's had to put up with a decade plus of "RULE34 IS BAD!!!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!1!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU TAG IT SO THAT I CAN'T SEE IT JUST BY STUMBLING UPON IT, IF YOU SEXUALIZE MY BLORBO YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE!!!1!!11 BRONIES ARE RAPE APOLOGISTS WHO ARE ALSO PEDOPHILES AND STOLE A LITTLE GIRLS SHOW AWAY FROM THEM BECAUSE MUH SOGGY KNEES!!!! ANIME FANS ARE EVIL ALT RIGHT PEDOPHILES!! FANS OF JAPANESE MADE VIDEO GAMES ARE PEDOPHILES!!!!1 PEDO PEDO PEDO PEDO PEDO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Like I don't think it's *okay*, I'm just saying that this is highly disappointing, but unsurprising.

See, so this is the exact mentality I was thinking about when I answered those first few asks.

Because, you know what? You're right: the internet is the internet and certain people are just going to do whatever the hell they want either way.

However, I'm going to bring up a few portions written by myself and others that kind of lean into my ultimate attitude on situations like this.

'Read more' because this turned into a doozy.

First and foremost, this portion from Absolmon's reblog of one of the earlier posts:

"I also think there’s a world of difference between a small time creator wanting to retain some control of their characters vs a billion dollar corporations character. I remember when JaidenAnimations made an statement saying she was upset by all the porn made of her avatar character, especially with her collaborators and people rushing out to make even more of it. The fact that Jaiden is ace and has a well known history of body image issues just makes it even more skeevy. "

This portion from a conversation I was having with Marquis de Glad:

Marquis - I dunno... Is it any different than all the people who make Rule34 of Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite despite the creator not liking it? Or is that something you dislike as well? Mind you, I know basically nothing about this entire thing other than what you've posted, so it's possible I'm missing some context

Me - Well, I'm of the mindset that 'not liking' =/= 'please don't do this' I'm sure that Hasbro doesn't like all the MLP smut out there, but they never actually said 'please don't create this'. Another example would be how Martin Freeman's wife was talking about how she didn't like all the porn of her husband's characters people made that she kept finding when wanting to show their kids their dad's work... But she never said 'please don't do this'

And then, finally, from an ask I just answered:

"No one wants to think about the creators of their favored IPs anymore. They just want to be given the shiny new ball to treat (or mistreat) in any way they see fit for a while before dumping it to the wayside a month or so later to do it to something else. And if, heaven forbid, you get a creator who dares to want to have some matter of agency with how people engage with their creation, well...

'Why do you hate people having fun?'

'Well, I'm just going to do it anyway.'

'So... Anyway, these characters are now mine because the creator is obviously shitty and doesn't know them as well as I do'"

However, one other thing that I think a lot of people aren't remembering in the conversation around this issue is the notion of boundaries. And not just the boundaries creators are justified in setting for themselves, but the boundaries within fandom itself.

Because, going back to the whole rhetorical reenactment you had up there, there was a time when NSFW creators used to be able to lock up their work behind certain tags so that creators and minors wouldn't have to see it unless they took it upon themselves to sniff around. Remember things like Steven Universe smut being tagged as 'Stephen Galaxy', MLP smut having the nickname of 'Clop', or even people trying to recreate that effect in the Cookie Run fandom with tags like 'NotSafeforCookies'.

On the opposite end of this (the boundary established for NSFW to exist in so that creators and minors wouldn't have to see it), then, it would be understood that Creators and Minors wouldn't engage with said content.

Is the picture that I'm trying to establish here clear? Because while we can talk about 'respect a creator's boundaries' until the cows come home, some people will just not want to do that. Especially in the current fandom-space where NSFW is being demonized more and more. However, we are currently suffering a pandemic of people either refusing to tag properly or purposefully tagging their work with the most popular tags so that it is basically guaranteed to go outside of its intended audience.

And that is why, in a conversation that should only center around a creator becoming overwhelmed by how people are treating and feeling justified to their creation, you keep having people bring up fanpol and proshippers. Because that boundary being trampled on by both sides of the equation is what will continue to cause situations like this.

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whats-wild-to-you · 7 months

Text

Dr. Daredevil (Jay Park AU)

Chaeyeon

'Nurse Jung could become an issue.'

I replayed Kang Hyuntae's words in my mind over and over again.

Jaebeom had left for the hospital but insisted that I stayed here and, as he so eloquently put it, heal.

I was absentmindedly chewing on my french toast when I heard the front door spring open. Thinking that Jaebeom came back because he forgot something, I jumped on my feet, eager to meet him halfway.

Only when I stared into the cold eyes of his grandfather, I realized I was wearing one of Jaebeom's shirt that barely covered my ass.

"Figures." The old man commented dryly.

"Mr. Park, I-"

"Save it. I'll wait here while you get dressed."

Much to my surprise I complied and shuffled back to the bedroom, picking up my clothes that there scattered all over the floor.

"I had no idea Jae-"

"That stupid immature boy really thinks he can keep secrets from me."

"I-"

"Let's get to the point of my surprise visit. Ms. Baek, I'll make it quick. I want you gone! Out of my grandson's bed, and life. Out of Seoul. Tell me, how much will it cost?"

I was so taken aback that for a moment I was glad that I didn't sell my parents's house in Andong. But then I came back to my senses. Jaebeom's grandfather was controlling his life and maybe he was intimidating enough to threaten a few more people but he wouldn't succeed with me.

"I'm not quitting!"

"I gathered that much. I'm sad to say that leaves only one option."

He turned on his feet and left without finishing his thought, but I had a pretty good idea about what was going to happed. He would get me fired. I had no doubt that Jaebeom's grandfather possessed that kind of power. All I could hope for was that Kim Donghyun wouldn't let himself get bullied by an old man with money.

Kang Hyuntae

The minute I saw Chaeyeon walking towards me, I knew something was wrong. All her measly attempts to appear busy and dodge everyone who tried to approach her couldn't fool me.

When she passed by me, nodding her head in greeting, I grabbed her arm and dragged her inside the nearest supply closet.

"What the fuck is wrong?"

"With you? I'd say a lot!"

"Quit bullshitting. What happened?"

She pushed past me, shooting me a warning glare. I decided to let her go, I'd approach her later when she had time to cool off.

But I didn't see her for the rest of the day, and stayed well after I was done with work, waiting for her.

Chaeyeon

Thank God my day turned out to be busy. I welcomed the workload, as it kept my mind from spiraling. There was no doubt in my mind that Jaebeom's grandfather had threatened me. I needed someone to confide in, but I couldn't talk to either Jaebeom or Dr. Kang.

Twelve hours after I entered the hospital this morning I checked up on my last patient and handed my files to the night nurse. My job here was done and I had earned myself a hot bath and a warm meal at home.

"Dr. Baek?"

I turned around, looking into the frightened eyes of a younger doctor.

"The director wants to see you."

Even though I was desperate to take a quick shower and change out of these filthy scrubs, I nodded and changed my direction, walking towards the elevators.

At an easy pace I walked up to Kim Donghyun's office. I had caught a rare case earlier. A patient who came in, displaying conflicting symptoms. Every doctor was in his room, trying to figure out what was wrong with the man, but in the end it was me who diagnosed him correctly. I guess word travelled back to Kim Donghyun and he wanted to congratulate me. Maybe even present me with a premium. Already schemening about how I would spent the money, I pushed down the handle, casually walking in and plopping down on his comfortable couch.

"Hello, Mr. Kim." I said in a chipper tone.

Kim Donghyun looked up from his folder, acknowledging my presence.

"Dr. Baek, you're here."

I was still on a high from my earlier success that I failed to hear the dull tone in his voice.

"I heard you had an interesting case earlier..."

I was grinning from ear to ear, impatiently waiting to hear about my reward.

"... which makes what I'm about to say even more difficult. Dr. Baek, I'm sorry but you're fired."

It was as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over my head. I was petrified, my mind was racing to make sense of what I just heard, yet I couldn't move my lips to utter that one word swirling around in my head.

Why?

I watched as Kim Donghyun shifted his focus back on the folder on his desk, indicating that our conversation was over.

Just like that?

Fired?

Without any plausible reason?

Really?, the voice in my head screamed.

It took all my willpower to get up and leave his office with my head held high, when all I wanted to do was cry, drop down on my knees and beg him to change his mind.

You know why you're fired!, a much smaller voice answered in my head as I finally shuffled out of his office.

It appeared that Jaebeom's grandfather was a lot more powerful than I had imagined.

Not wanting to deal with anyone, I just exited the hospital, needing to get far away from this place. In reality I was cowering on a park bench in a nearby park, waiting for the time to pass. Eventually I had to go back for my clothes and stuff but the later it got the bigger were my chances to walk into an empty hospital.

It was close to midnight when I heaved my body off the wooden park bench and began walking towards the building. I passed by the security guard who greeted me and turned left heading towards the cafeteria. It was a shortcut. If I took the emergency staircase up to the fourth floor I could avoid the night nurse too.

"There you are!" I heard someone call after me.

I immediately recognized his voice. Moments later he emerged from the shadows.

"Maybe you want to talk about it now?"

"What's the point? You already know!"

"I do. You got fired. Did you run into Jaebeom's grandfather? Where? Did he threaten you? Ask you to leave? Talk to me!"

I cringed when Kang Hyuntae mentioned Jaebeom. For a moment I wondered if he knew. If I would find a dozen unanswered calls and messages on my phone.

"He doesn't know. He left early."

Does that mean everybody else in this hospital knows I was fired?

"I just came back to get my stuff."

"What will you do?"

I just shook my head, unable to form a coherent thought. I'd have to confront myself at some point and seek answers to these questions, but not tonight.

Jaebeom

After I had left work early, I had dinner with some businessmen my grandfather insisted I had to meet. Dinner led to drinks, which led to more drinks at a bar and by the end of the night I was drunk and had to call a substitute driver.

I barely made it into my apartment and sulked when I realized Chaeyeon wasn't there. Surely she must've seen the key I left for her on the shoe rack. I smiled to myself, realizing I probably had to spell it out for her.

I didn't think I was ready for her to move in permanently but I definitely wanted her to use the key and make a surprise appearance every now and then.

My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was how the sheets still smelled like her and how that was the closest this place ever felt to a home.

I texted Chaeyeon first thing in the morning, asking if we could meet outside the hospital for lunch. When I didn't get a text back I chalked it up to her busy schedule. As I walked in through the door I texted Hyuntae, asking him to meet me in my office.

When he showed up, he looked like he had a rough night and an even rougher morning.

"Everything okay? You look like crap."

He nodded, but there was surprise, astonishment and worry in his eyes. His lips formed into an o-shape and he avoided eye contact.

"You're being weird today. Weirder than usual. Hey, have you seen Chaeyeon this morning? She must be super busy!"

He shook his head, trying to squeeze his body past mine even though I was effectively blocking the door.

When I fixated my stare on him he sighed before racking his fingers through his hair.

"Last night Kim fired Chaeyeon."

"What?" The word came out as a angry roar.

Why didn't she contact me? Why didn't Kim contact me?

"I don't know the specifics, all I know is that this has Park Min Gu written all over it!"

"My grandfather? Why would h-" The words stuck in my throat. Of course he would do something like that. He probably had planned it all along.

"I tried to talk to her, yesterday morning, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong with her!"

"Yesterday morning?!"

My mind was going a mile a minute. I left in my apartment yesterday morning. Could my gr- No! Impossible. I bought the apartment with my own money, using an alias. There's no way he found out I own it. But what if he-

"Fuck! Do you know where she is right now?"

"No idea. I tried to call her but her phone must be turned off."

"What about Lee Kangmin?" I hated this guy with a passion but he was Chaeyeon's friend. Maybe he knew something.

Kang Hyuntae's face lit up. "I didn't even think about asking him. I'll track him down and see what I can find out. I'll text you as soon as I know more."

He patted my shoulder and left me alone with my thoughts.

This time the chairman went definitely too far.

Chaeyeon

Soojung loaded my plate with scrambled eggs and french toast and placed a mug of black coffee next to it.

"Eat. Then talk." She demanded, while angrily stabbing the scrambled eggs with her fork.

I had showed up at her door late last night and initially offered no explanation for my sudden visit.

Instead I noticed the absence of her husband, but not only he was gone. His stuff was gone too.

'We're not going to talk about my failed marriage when you look like you've been crying. Spit it out or I'll make you!'

Soojung had always been intimidating, but because I was her friend I was immune to it. Last night though she was terrifying, so I gave her the Reader's Digest version before curling up into a ball on the couch and falling asleep.

After I had told her the whole story over breakfast the next morning, she sighed, impatiently tapping her perfectly manicured nails on the marble counter.

"What are you going to do next?"

"What else? I'm going back to Andong."

"No way! You have to stay and fight. They can't fire you like this!"

"What's the point? Jaebeom's grandfather has too much influence! I can stay but I won't get hired by another hospital in this city! Mr. Park made sure of that."

"What will you do about Jaebeom? I'm sure he's going to call when he finds out what the old man did. Are you going to ignore him?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "They're family."

"And you really want to go?"

"Want, no! But I have no choice. I'm going to call Hwang Inseok and beg for my old job back, and pray that the news haven't reached his ears yet."

My genius plan backfired, royally, when Hwang Inseok ignored all my calls.

An unnerving thought sat in the pit of my stomach. Did the old man's power reach so far that he was able to manipulate Hwang Inseok too?

Surely that wouldn't be the case, but I had to see for myself. I had to go to Andong and see Hwang Inseok in person.

After charging my phone, I switched it back on and, no surprise, found several dozen messaged and missed calls from Jaebeom. Out of instinct, I blocked his number and asked Soojung for the keys to her car.

-> next chapter

#jay park #park jaybum #park jaebum #park jaebeom #more soju please #more vision #aomg jay park #jay park aomg #h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang #aomg imagines #aomg scenarios #aomg fanfic #jay park imagines #jay park scenarios #jay park fanfic #khh imagines #khh fanfic

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

Text

VegasPete and Stockholm syndrome (part 2)

…

This episode helped me realize what Pete’s exact relationship to pain is.

Really funny to me that Vegas was right when he said that Pete likes it when he’s moody. Because it’s true. (Saw a post on this earlier which I’ll try and link once my comp is back in working order;; But the the way it highlighted how Pete’s fascination with Vegas is a kind of “tragic lust.”)

Pete likes seeing Vegas be pathetic. When the torture first started I don’t doubt the pleasure or motivation Pete had for being defiant specifically relates to the feeling of rebellion against that abusive trauma from his past.

“You can’t break me. I’m not pathetic YOU are.” <- Pete’s thoughts/motives on some subconscious level.

But then of course there’s a shift from the moment he witnesses the dynamic between Vegas and his father. Yeah he’s still defiant but there’s more to it than that.

It isn’t just “you are pathetic” now it’s “You’re pathetic because you’ve been hurt the same way I have.”

I’m not really gonna touch on it because I’ve already read a lot of amazingly written analyses on it — but when they’re at the safe house, Pete is subtle but he’s trying to convince Vegas that’s there’s a third option, and that he doesn’t have to be stuck in this cycle of abused and abuser. All the way up to his conversation with Vegas about fathers’ —Pete’s doing this. The conversation fully bringing around Vegas’ whole shift in viewpoint.

Which set great groundwork for episode 12. And more specifically how this shared empathy also became a shared fascination.

Vegas is fascinated with Pete’s defiance in the face of pain, and Pete’s fascinated with Vegas’ pain and how he weaponizes it against himself and others.

Getting more into the specifics rather than just “Pete’s into Vegas’ being pathetic”

It gets more layered when you consider that Pete specifically likes giving control / being dominated by someone pathetic.

(Lol why they are both so fked up <333. Lemme study you two under microscopes.)

Anyways,,,

Can’t help but think this is all about projection.

Like the reason why Vegas has a hedgehog 🦔 and why he wanted to take Pete with him to the safe house is because he’s projecting just how little freedom he actually has in his life. He’s trapped in a closed cage (chained up, in Pete’s case).

Except Vegas has been trapped his entire life. Just someone for his father to take his pain out on. Someone set up to always lose, someone that’s never enough. So taking Pete isn’t just an act of defying his father (who told him to kill Pete and doesn’t know Vegas took him with), but it’s also so he can take back an illusion of control in his own life by taking out his own pain on Pete (similar to what his father is doing to him) — that and Vegas is lonely. He would be isolated at the safe house. He would have no one to talk to. Just him and his books and the silence before his father visits.

…..I’ll be honest y’all I don’t think this safe house HAS guards? In my mind he dismissed them once he got to the safe house cause he had Pete to keep him company. He literally says “it’s fine I have someone to keep me company.” In the episode to men in black suits. And then we don’t see a single guard after that. Not on the safe house premises. Just Vegas, Pete, and isolation.

(Lol back to the hedgehog 🦔 projection….this projection is especially fked up when you realize that Vegas having to watch as all his hedgehogs died one after another is just a visual representation to him of his life—given something by his father, but it dies and he fails and loses love and gets hurt. The love —for clarification— being the hedgehogs.

Him projecting himself and his situation on the hedgehog is just all the more poignant when you realize that since his father gave him these hedgehogs it just makes it all the more a reminder that he’ll be trapped in this cage of a life until he, himself, dies. Hence the vulnerability when he asks Porsche not to torture him if he has to kill him one day. He states it like an eventuality. I guess Vegas on some level knows that it is. That no matter how many times he fails, the door of the cage will open, only to put another hedgehog in. His father gives him something — only for Vegas to be immediately placed back into his cage. Rinse. Repeat. Until he “succeeds” or dies trying.

Side note: Lemme also state here that it’s obvious to me that a lot of time has passed. Or at least a good couple of days. Why do I think this? Because when Vegas comes in that second time after being beaten by his father (at the end of the ep/just before the noodle scene), Pete asks if his father did it again and Vegas responded:

“Aren’t you used to it by now?”

(Or smthn similar along these lines I don’t have the episode pulled up rn LOL)

Now, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense for Vegas to say this to Pete

(as they’ve only had one conversation about his dad, and the warehouse scene before that — this would be like the third time total seeing Vegas come back from being hurt by his father— I wouldn’t be used to that kind of situation having only experienced or gotten wind of it 3 times, and I doubt Pete would’ve either)

While watching the episode I understood immediately what Vegas was implying when he said that. “Aren’t you used to it” means that more than a couple of days have passed, and during that time Vegas’ father has come to the safe house more than once to take his anger out on Vegas. Pete being locked up there with Vegas would then be seeing this toxic cycle of Vegas getting beat for no reason.

Which is why Vegas thought Pete had gotten used to it. Used to seeing him come in with new bruises.

Honestly a really heartbreaking implication. The moment Vegas said “aren’t you used to it by now” my heart dropped to my feet.

But I haven’t seen anyone else comment on this line LOL!!! Anyways this means Pete’s been holed up with Vegas for at least a week, maybe longer. So although it’s unseen, the implied passage of time does at least give Pete breathing space to rewire the way he thinks about and interacts with Vegas. Enough for him to be at the point of asking if Vegas was hurt. [End of sidenote LOL]

Then when you add in Pete relating with Vegas via his own abusive past with HIS father?

(Except Pete realizes and knows why his father hurt him —Because he was hurt himself)

Pete’s story not only helped Vegas realize that it wasn’t Vegas that sucked (but his b*tch father >:OOO ) and this rlly impacts Vegas. And yet, when Vegas sees his Hedgehog die, he leaves the key Pete needs to escape right next to Pete, pretending it to be an accident, because everything he likes or loves end up leaving him in the end anyway, right?

But Pete is SO drawn in and captivated by Vegas’ pain. Yes he wants to comfort him —

…. but I wonder if his strong attraction is relating to the comfort Or control Pete wished he had when he was a kid in an abusive situation.

So it’s like he’s living vicariously through Vegas when he *LET’S* Vegas chain him up, when he chooses to let Vegas have that kind of power over him.

At the same time it’s all kinds of fked up cuz Vegas isn’t really in control? Pete is obv still in such control of the entire situation, *he’s* the one giving Vegas permission. (Which is probably why, of the two of them) it’s VEGAS that ends up on his knees in the end…..(God help me)

Hmmm. Anyways I don’t have a lot of intelligent things to say rn. I just think the two of them have an interesting relationship to pain, and therefore an interesting relationship with each other 🤷🤤.

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liskantope · 11 months

Text

The topic of sexual orientation being a choice or how much it's a product of genetics or otherwise, and the whole debate around it that peaked around 15-18 years ago, has happened to come up a number of times in my posts/discussions here lately, so I might as well lay out how I feel about it.

It seems most likely to me that sexual orientation is probably largely genetic or at least somehow wired in people from birth, but not entirely and not in all cases. I think environment almost certainly plays a significant role for many though far from all people. And in some moderately exceptional cases, someone might be able to consciously choose their sexual orientation, not as in snapping their fingers and making themself attracted to a different set of people, but as in deliberately self-modifying over a prolonged period (I've seen some talk of "bi-hacking" in the rationalist-sphere, for instance.)

(I would imagine that it's pretty much the same story for transness, but I don't want to get into that here.)

Back at the final hurrah of the gay rights movement's prominence among the culture wars, during the mid-00's (this is the part I remember the best, maybe a lot of this was going on earlier as well), one of the main planks of the gay rights side was "not a choice" and "born that way". Many younger progressives nowadays tend to see this as a misguided perspective that both misleadingly oversimplified the situation and wrongly prioritized the question of choice -- why should it matter whether homosexuality is a choice, when the real point is that it's harmless? -- and lament how much this is ingrained into the victorious perspective of gay issues adopted by society, even if it was clearly good political strategy and may have been instrumental to changing hearts and minds.

I count myself among this camp: I vividly remember my high school self circa 2004 angrily insisting that all gay people were born gay and nothing whatsoever can influence someone's sexual orientation after they're born (or probably almost nothing -- I at least had some sense of epistemic caution at that age), and now I see that perspective as naive and misguided.

But, while the "not a choice", "born that way" thing was certainly overplayed in the mid-00's to the point of probably having some indirectly harmful aftereffects, I think we need to be careful about dismissing it as a totally irrelevant distraction in the debate. There are reasons it was probably crucial in our success at changing hearts and minds, and some of them do point to valid motivations.

Several arguments come to mind which mostly boil down to the fact that a low-agency model of someone implies they deserve sympathy. First of all, it seems worse to pick on a group of people for a trait they can't help, or (analogously) to rail against them developing that trait and however others are supposedly to blame for them developing it if in fact it's a trait people are born with. Relatedly, a lot of the anti-gay side's attitude came from a pervasive religious belief about homosexuality displeasing God. This kind of conviction obviously doesn't hold up very well if homosexuality is a trait that someone was born with or otherwise can't change about themself.

"But," many conservatives have said, "we're not denying that a tendency towards the 'wrong' sexual orientation is out of some people's control; we're just saying that people have enough control to be able to modify their orientations through certain types of therapy. It's just like a tendency to alcoholism: with enough work, an alcoholic can learn to not feel an overwhelming craving for a drink." Okay, but if it's evident that homosexuality is of a more deeply ingrained nature than an active addiction to alcohol, then that argument doesn't really work either. And on some level such a thing appears to be the case: at least it's pretty widely agreed that various therapies pushed by conservatives for changing someone's sexual orientation rarely work. And the "born that way" narrative, if only a rough and naive approximation of the truth, has certainly helped to explain why conversion therapy is a bad idea and should be discouraged and certainly not pushed on people.

And then there's the fact that if some marginalized trait is entirely a choice, there seems to be less moral imperative for protecting those who possess it. If being attracted to people of the same gender is something that a person can just change, sure, we might be opposed to someone having a problem with it on the principle that an attitude like that is incorrect and somewhat restrictive, but at least gay people would have the option of changing their orientation to straight even if in principle they shouldn't be required to do so. Homophobia would still be wrong, and of course any kind of violence or direct coercion in its name would be very wrong, but we might be rationally justified in focusing our priorities on people who are oppressed for being in situations they truly have no control over.

So, it's good to recognize that it's not as simple as "To tell you it's okay / You were just born that way / And hey, it's in your DNA" and super important to recognize that homophobia would still be wrong even if sexual orientation were totally under everyone's control. But I don't think the truth that sexual orientation is mostly out of people's control and probably somewhat genetic/innate should be regarded as entirely irrelevant to gay rights either.

#gay rights #genetics #nature vs. nurture #alcoholism #conversion therapy #homophobia cw #avenue q

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taulun · 2 years

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As I said a moment earlier, your au-obsessed anon is back with a few more questions. There are not as many as before but I think they’re a little deeper? Idk but I think I’m really starting to feel what they’re really like thanks to you! I really adore what you’re doing for all of us, thanks once again ❤️ So:

1. Were they exclusive during their situationship? I feel like it’s a very important question because this could stir up a conflict between them regardless of the answer and I’m here for all the drama

2. What is Adrien’s reasoning behind this can’t-say-no-to-you thing? Does he think it’s like a great physical attraction or smth if he won’t admit he’s actually smitten by her?

3. Is Marinette a type of person who would slap someone (ofc I mean Adrien) if she were really angry? Did anything this sort of physical ever happened between them?

4. How did they become famous? I mean they’re talented af and they both have educational background but they’re signed by Universal and Dead Oceans which are both huge record labels so there must be some kind of a turning point for them

I wanted to say that I love each and every single answer of yours but I’m especially happy about your answer on Plagg. I think he reminds me greatly about the one from the show, he would act the same if he’d become human man some day.

Some of the drawing suggestions were mine so I really hope you had fun drawing them! Lots of love, take care of yourself, my favorite human being on the internet! ❤️

First of all: MUAH <3 I'm really happy you enjoy it so much, please never stop talking to me about this AU hahaha

Second of all:

Marinette was. She was immediately all over him, like everyone else in the world disappeared and it was just him left. She was obsessed with him almost from the start, he quickly became "her favourite person" - that's a term used when discussing BPD and that one person that means the world to someone suffering from this disorder. Adrien... well, he was exclusive, until he wasn't. She put a spell on him the moment he saw her and talked to her for the first time, it was instant, and intense. BUT, at some point when Mari started feeling paranoid and became controlling, he was like "fuck it, it's not like we're together anyway, I can do whatever I want", aaaaand he went and slept with two girls somewhere in the meantime. Yeah, ouch. She didn't know, until she did. Well, he told her about it during one of their fights. This was one of their last fights before the massive breakup, Marinette became even more paranoid and toxic than before, telling him all the time to leave her and "go to his bitches" or whatever, but he didn't want to leave. He was mean to her, and very hurtful, but he was so intoxicated by her - still, after all of this - that he couldn't possibly walk away. And then one day she "broke up" with him, like I said before.

I partly answered this question in the paragraph above, but I'm gonna say it again - Marinette completely took over him with how attractive she was, both physically and mentally. He liked spending time with her, talking with her, and doing OTHER things obviously. They had a weird connection, something that didn't happen to them before, and they were intoxicated with each other. Since the beginning, she's been both a mystery and a forbidden fruit to him, and this is why he couldn't ever say no to her. But he never even thought about it being love.

Yes, Marinette can lose control completely when she's scared and angry, and it happened a couple of times that she started hitting his chest with her fists or slapping his forearms, yelling how much she hates him and that he should just leave her like everyone else, because he clearly wants that and he doesn't give a fuck about her. But because he's much stronger - and bigger - than her, he would always catch at her wrists and stop her. He hates it whenever she's doing it because while he doesn't mind physical touch in general (except for some intimate gestures...), he gets furious when something like this happens. When it happened for the first time, he was genuinely shocked, he would never expect her (or any other woman) to raise her hand against him. Later he kinda learned how to deal with it, and although still super angry at her, he would just stop her by holding her arms still. Their conversations would look like that, more or less:

A: Don't do this ever again. (he would stare at her with cold and angry eyes, and she would soften up immediately, and start crying and shaking)

M: I-I'm sorry, oh my God I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Please, I didn't mean to... I love you, please don't go, please.

A: No, stop with this bullshit, Marinette. I don't want to hear any of this.

M: Adrien, I'm so sorry, please don't be mad, please... Are you mad at me? You must be... You hate me, right? You hate me... God, I'm so sorry-

A: I don't hate you. Fuck, Marinette. What is wrong with you? You fucking hit me, yell at me, act like a psycho, and then you're telling me you fucking love me? I've had enough of you for one day. I'm going.

M: No! No, please please don't leave me. I'm so sorry, Adrien, baby, I'm so sorry-

A: I am going. Let me go.

M: But you're not leaving for good? You're not? I can't live without you, don't leave me-

A: No, fuck, I'm not leaving you. Jesus. Just going home. I need to get some fresh air. Clear up my mind. You should, too.

4. Aaaaand the last one - so Marinette started posting some of her singing videos in social media, she was also singing in cafes and restaurants, even organised a small concert for a group of people (friends, family, friends of those friends, random people, basically anyone could come and listen to her). Then at some point a producer from Dead Oceans became interested in her, and offered her a contract. She then released "Liquid Smooth" which became an instant hit song, and just like that she got famous af.

Exitium is not that much of a popular band, and Adrien never wanted to be super popular either. It all began with Luka who was already friends with some musicians when he was young (he played the guitar and was interested in heavy music since childhood), and when he decided to start a band with Adrien, he got their help. They played some small concerts in bars and pubs around Stockholm, and at some point went to some less famous producer with their debut album. A couple of months later Universal got interested in them, and they signed a contract.

#miraculous ladybug #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #music au #miraculous fanart #miraculous #miraculous au #my art #taulun

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