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comingyourlugubriousness · 2 months

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Happy Birthday Yume Ume: Personal Story (Part 2/3)

Part: 1 / 2 / 3

Yume *skimming the book* Oh this passage is interesting too! Hm? Are these notes in the margins…?

Leona: Are you gonna read the whole book in front of me? That’s pretty rude, runt.

Yume: *sarcastically* Hm? *holds hand up to their ear* Did someone over the age of 18 just try and speak to me?

Leona: Yume, I don’t have to be here, y’know.

Yume: *Laughs* Okay okay, sorry, let's start the interview.

Leona: If you could bring one person with you on a deserted island, who would you choose? However; the catch is you cannot bring someone from your dorm.

Yume: Ah that sucks…I guess in this case I’ll count both the Ramshackle and Ignihyde as my dorms. Hmm… well no offense to my brothers and Grim but I'm not sure how useful they would be.

Leona: Fair enough.

Yume: Ortho would be ideal, so long as he has a full battery charge. And Idia…*speaking wearily* Would provide me with motivation to escape as soon as possible before he withers.

Leona: Ha! *smirk* What a kind way of saying he would be useless.

Yume: *trying not to laugh* Excuse me, sir!

Yume: *in nasally voice, pushing up glasses* Moral support is crucial to the team comp! Anyway-! *clears throat* I guess in this case the “how” we got to the island doesn’t matter. On a deserted island; food is possibly sparse, with no guarantee of fresh water. I assume communication is impossible through normal means and that we are without magic devices.

Leona: *agreeing* One could assume.

Yume: *muttering to self; holding hand to face in thought* Survival is definitely the main goal; but there are other outside factors you have to consider. Such as how to escape, who is looking for you, and if rescue is an option.

Leona:...* crosses arms impatiently*

Yume: *still rambling* Food, while important, falls secondary to fresh water; if provided with enough; escape doesn’t need to be immediate.

Leona: *slightly fed up* Hurry up and pick someone, runt!

Yume: *pouting* Don’t rush me! HMmm

Yume: Rook comes to mind first; I’ve seen first hand his survival and camping skills and I have no doubt he could help keep us both alive for a good duration of time…though I’m not sure how well rescue or escaping would go.

Leona: Yeah, but would you be able to deal with that creep?

Yume: That’s funny coming from you, lol. But he can be a bit much…then again *Closes eyes in thought* taking either of the twin’s could be advantageous…

Leona: *surprised* You mean the ones who skulk around with the Octo-punk?

Yume: It’s not my first choice, but Jade and Floyd are merfolk. Theoretically they could swim fast and travel out into the ocean for rescue. But…

Leona: *urging them to hurry and continue* But…

Yume: *sighs* I’d be left to fend for myself and probably wouldn't last long…and there's no real guarantee they would come back unless promised something…they're both too unpredictable.

Leona: *makes noise of agreement*

Yume: *talking to self* Someone from Diasomnia…well I don’t know all of them too well…

Leona: *slightly annoyed* You're taking too long; don’t be indecisive, you’d die on this island just thinking about what to do.

Yume: *puffs out cheeks* Don’t rush me! *huffs and closes their eyes. thinking* Someone I can get along with well, that could help me survive, and assist in escaping…its got to be…Aha! Kalim!

Leona:*raises an eyebrow. No disapproving.* Explain?

Yume: Kalim is easygoing by nature, it isn’t too hard for me to keep him focused on a task. Plus with his unique magic he could provide us both with fresh water daily. Making our only focus food/shelter. I’m used to roughing it at the Ramshackle and I know how to fish from camping!

Yume: *throwing hands up* Not to mention Kalim is crazy rich and important to his family. I’m certain they would have a means to locate and look for him; *whispers and leans over* if Jamil doesn’t already have him chipped *snickers*

Leona: *small noise of amusement*

Yume: Based on all that I can’t imagine we would be there for more than a few days tops. And with our combined co operation and his magic we should be relatively comfortable. *they nod to themselves; approving of their own answer*

Leona: Hm, I see.

Yume: *squinting* What’s with that look? You got a better answer?

Leona: No, in fact, that was my answer too.

Yume: *genuine surprise*...Oh! Great minds think alike then I guess. *they grin*

Leona: …Don’t get ahead of yourself. *rolls his eyes, but there is a hint of appreciation*.

FINAL PART COMING SOON!

#twisted wonderland #twst oc #disney twisted wonderland #yume ume #yuusona #leona kingscholar mention #platonic #happy birthday yume #mywriting #birthday interview #twst mc

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conntingency · 2 months

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hey friends, i'm kay! i'm excited to write with everyone here. i have the bae canon - bae jiyul, gremlin of the forest. i've got some info under the cut about him if you want a quick read type of situation. though you can check out his profile + about page for additional info as well. hit me with a like if you want to plot (prob on discord is easier?? bc of the shadowbanning,,,,) and we can think up something fun. 😎

his family is in relatively good standing within the town, but he's kind of the black sheep and largely off-putting. he was born pretty late compared to his brother and was absolutely not planned.

didn't really help himself out by being like, one of those sickly runt children. he has asthma, will Usually have his inhaler on him. was kind of a weird kid too, he probably bit people in kindergarten.

considered himself Incredibly close to jeongbin, and considering he wasn't that level of close with a lot of people his death hit him hard (even if he wasn't actually the best of people/friends). instead of drifting away from the woods, he just became obsessed with it. spends a lot of time out there drawing and wandering around hoping to re-find the cabin or the weird rumor-ghost of jeongbin.

he does have like Constant nightmares though. his sleep schedule is whack. he's a freelance graphic designer so it mostly works out schedule wise even if he doesn't make a lot of money doing it.

if he were a dnd character he would have a negative 3 charisma stat. just not great at coming across as confident and put together and the opposite of weird. he also gets attached Way too easily if you let him. he's like one of those people that decide they're your best friend after you hang out at the bar together once. like bro, chill.

bad at regulating emotions in general. tends to kind of swallow everything down until it eventually bubbles up in something large that likely doesn't match the situation.

also not great with boundaries!!!! we could all see it coming.

his family is pretty religious and he used to be but isn't so much anymore. his parents aren't please about it, but let's be real here, they aren't pleased about most of his life choices, so does it matter?

kind of a mess and largely ambition-less. he kinds of just...does what he wants at any given moment. isn't really focused about getting a better job or bettering himself or creating a good reputation in the town. he mostly just cares about the woods and gets kinda anxious if he's away from it for too long (why he moved back, even though his stint away at a university was a better time for him socially tbqh).

okay yeah i think that's kind of the highlight reel along with the linked pages!! i'm open to plotting with everyone. ik he's a weird lil pariah type so no worries if you want a hate plot, i love them as well. and i'm forever looking for someone to punch him in the face (it would be funny, don't pretend it wouldn't be funny).

#index / ooc #eldrtch:int

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panda-state-panoptic · 9 months

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What’s your thoughts on Texas being Spains neglected son. I have a headcanon he is because historically Spain was the first to try and settle into Texas a long time ago. But had trouble due to the land being a bit uninhabitable for people to settle there. While Natives were also making it difficult.

To me he’s like the runt of Spains giant family, first he was called New Philippines, Coahuila y Tejas, Tejas, the republic of Texas etc.

After Spain had a difficult time trying to push settlers in his land, he eventually gave up because it was just almost impossible and prolly didn’t have enough men. I think people forget that Spain owned Texas before Mexico really did. He used to be a colony but was eventually given up on. I imagine Mexico being his older sister when Spain found them both. Perhaps Mexico was carrying him because he was fragile.

What’s your headcanon I’m interested to hear yours!

Thank you for not going with the AmeMex baby trope. It’s such a tired one, people, let it rest. Also I’m going to ramble a bit but I like where your head is at for the most part! I agree that he’s sort of a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit.

So I’m still figuring out logistically when each state came into the picture, but pretty much all of them come into being when a sense of identity starts taking shape. So for some states that’s way before they became a state or territory, but for some it’s a closer time frame to when things start getting declared.

The original 13 for example would have existed before they came into contact with Alfred or ideas of the US, but a state like West Virginia would pop up more towards the time she became a state. Texas is also one of those that I do think would exist early enough to have interacted with a previous nation or colonizer before the US. For me I just don’t really think of the states as literal family to anyone besides maybe another state or states based on the preceding territory and history. It’s just not my vibe but I see why it’s appealing to other people. (I’m going to eventually do a post on why the AmeMex kids trope is tired, that and Alaska being Russia’s kid, are the only ones I can think of that I’m like “nope”). Metaphorical or found family bond is a hell ya to me for the states and each other and Alfred though lol

When it comes to Texas I do think it would be interesting (and funny) to have him interact with Spain and Mexico and other personifications like Florida before Alfred. I think he would pop into existence as tensions started rising there when Spaniards tried to move in. I do think him and Spain would be more or less estranged to the point where, although Texas may have felt neglected at one point, it stopped phasing him by the 1900s at the latest. But all in all I see him as just Texas not really “used to be under this nation,” but I don’t think you or someone else would be wrong for going about it that way. He just has this attitude to me of being his own guy that just happened to have a transition of power under different people.

When it comes to his interaction with Mexico I personally don’t see it as family, at least not biological, but again that’s just me. I see where you’re coming from with them geographically and both being under Spain though, and I don’t think it’s a necessarily bad idea. I don’t have a Mexico oc since I like seeing other people’s (shoutout to dahliamorena’s oc), but in my AU I think they’d butt heads since the beginning of Texas being under Mexico lol. Before that when they were both under Spain I’m sure Mexico might have felt protective of him, and even when he was under Mexico, because Mexico was in charge of him. I think Texas would’ve appreciated it but been like “nah I’ve got this” and Mexico probably wouldn’t have minded as long as he didn’t do anything disruptive. But once Texas was under Mexico it was like moving in with an acquaintance only to realize you hate being roommates lmao.

He would’ve felt like he was getting the short end of the stick on decisions that Mexico was making in the interest of the nation. All of this when Texas doesn’t want to be under anyone anyway. To me Texas is definitely a DIY sort of man and Mexico was immediately taking leadership there to stabilize the country. So the lack of independence Texas felt he was getting didn’t sit right with him. It pretty much went from a difference of personality and opinion, plus during a tense political situation, to “yeah I’m out” “what do you mean you’re out??” cue fighting. I don’t think it would be so bad that they could never get over it, but I’m sure it was and could still have the potential to be awkward lol. I also think Texas today would believe he’s closer to Mexico than Mexico does to him XD but not in a really serious way and I can see other interpretations.

That’s all I have to say on your question specifically (if I keep adding thoughts it’s not going to be on topic XD). I’ll definitely add onto this or make another post about Texas’s relationships with Alfred and other states or nations who were under Spain later though because he’s a state I could ramble on about

Thanks so much and definitely feel free to ask more!

TLDR: ya he definitely wasn’t that close to Spain and he has a lowkey complicated relationship with Mexico but it’s not bad or anything and the history is interesting. Basically he’s just a guy lmao

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squidproquoclarice · 2 years

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Yeehawgust Day 31: Git Along Little Dogies

August 1890

Rainbow Junction, Nebraska

Bessie understood losing a child, or at least, she did in some sense. She and Hosea had lost some babies, one of them achingly close to being born, and every time, she’d cried. With George, there was an actual grave. One she still thought about, even near twenty years later. Pieces of her heart and soul carved out and stitched together only with the most deliberate care, leaving the scar all the same.

But even she didn’t fully know what it was like. What she’d lost had been mostly the dreams, the hopes, the potential. Arthur…he’d lost a child fully in the world, named and known and to judge from helping raise her sister’s kids years ago, one who’d already very much started to show a clear personality and self at four. No, technically three. Arthur had last seen him alive at three. Dreams and potential, yes, but so much heartbreaking reality as well.

Three months now since he’d come back and said he found them buried, and soon enough he once again smiled and laughed and did all the usual things within their small family, but she saw that emptiness in his eyes when he thought nobody was looking. Knew that I’m fine facade for the act it was.

Something else there too, something bleak and hard that unsettled her, but if he wouldn’t talk about his boy and the woman who’d borne him, he wasn’t going to talk about whatever happened afterwards. She knew Arthur so well now after almost thirteen years, learned his moods and tempers and kindnesses, but he’d gone somewhere she couldn’t follow.

He’d always tended to ride off for a while to be by himself, even before he’d been making trips to see Isaac, but now sometimes those trips ended with him coming back drunk or else in the local jail for getting into a bare-knuckle brawl. Things that would have felt like youthful idiotic high spirits in a man with energy and temper in abundance now felt like something so different.

Dutch said Arthur just needed work. Bessie frankly thought Dutch was full of shit on that point, but wouldn’t say so. She could see he was so impatient for Arthur to just come back to himself. As usual, trying to nudge things along, make them into the reality he wanted, and he probably meant well by it, but it was like trying to force a man who’d been gutshot onto his horse and demanding he go holler Git along you little dogies at the cattle and round them all up, claiming it was just for his own good.

She found him out in the barn, on the heap of feed sacks they’d put in to start to prepare for winter. A book opened and placed facedown on his chest, and him instead staring up at the ceiling as if it had something profound written on it.

She took a deep breath, and knew this would probably either help or shatter him completely, but she couldn’t just stand by helplessly and wait. Or shove more work at him like Dutch. Or shove more books at him like Hosea. Or cluck and fuss over him like Susan.

Arthur heard the whimper from the puppy she was carrying and sat up, though he put the book aside. Still a man who valued reading enough to not carelessly throw a book to the floor and risk damaging it. Sat there, looking at her and said, “Found another wayward critter, huh?” An edge of rueful humor to it, the self-deprecation so familiar to her.

“Yeah, in town. This one was the runt. Man was threatening to drown him, if you can believe it.” True enough. Though it had been in a weirdly joking way that she knew wasn’t serious, but which she couldn’t find funny all the same.

“I can believe it. World’s a shitty place, Bessie. My pa threatened to drown me plenty of times.” Said with an offhanded humor, but she couldn’t find it funny either. The puppy snuffled, wiggled, cuddling closer to her. “Figured maybe you wouldn’t mind a late birthday present.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “You and Hosea got me that nice shaving kit.”

“Now, Arthur. I took the poor boy on and we all know who’s best with animals in this family, and don’t think I don’t see you petting everyone’s dogs and cats given half a chance. So please just play along with me here.”

Also not untrue. But hopefully he wouldn’t see what lay beneath all that. The notion she’d had, looking at that poor last remaining puppy, that what Arthur truly needed was someone who needed him, someone to give some love to, someone to give him some happiness back. Yes, Boadicea did some of that, but people always had a more complicated dynamic with their horses, given the dependency of a working relationship involved. Dogs and cats? It could be much simpler.

He sat back a bit, shoulders easing, and she saw the faint twitch of a smile. One of those moments he’d managed to forget the pain, to let it recede, and she thanked God for that. She’d made the right call here. “You got me there, I suppose.”

“Besides, it’s been a while since we had a dog. What, five years?”

“Seven. We lost Midnight seven years back.” A gleam of humor entered his eyes. “It’s fine, we got little Johnny as a pet instead. Now, he shits where he ought, but he still ain’t gotten the hang of not yapping all the time, though.”

“Arthur.” She couldn’t help but chuckle all the same. “Here. Besides, don’t I owe you for beating me at dominos this winter? I always said we needed something to mark the occasion should you ever manage it.”

He was smart enough to know some of what she was doing, but thankfully, he seemed to believe it was just her being a soft touch, and both of them knowing he was every bit as much of one when it came to animals. She handed over the dog, his fur the color of a newly-minted penny, and watched him cradle the puppy close to his chest. Already half in love, by the look of him, and laughing at the dog’s boundless energy. “OK, there, Copper. Yeah, you’re a good boy.”

“Copper?”

“Coloring. And hell, we got enough lawmen sniffing out our trail at times–might be nice to have a friendly copper around for once.”

Copper seemed to agree, licking Arthur’s face. She felt a spark of hope at that.

#yeehawgust #yeehawgust 2022 #rdr2 #bessie matthews #arthur morgan #copper the dog #cw: child loss #thanks for another year of yeehawgust y'all

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6half6empty6 · 2 years

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I think I saw somewhere that you have or had two huskimos, yours look big (but its in picture form) I was just curious because I have one and he's about three now (which is insane, I got him at 7 weeks) and he's only about 22 inches, but then again the only comparison I have is my mini greyhounds and my mastiff. Also your dogs are beautiful, my baby boy was removed from a backyard breeder claiming to breed AKK’s but he was only using the dogs for alcohol and drug money, and the dogs were brother and sister, plus he didn't want my boy because he was smaller than the rest and he had brown eyes.

Then we took him to an official AKK breeder to be examined, he's just a bit to big and his legs were wonky, said it could've been inbreeding and runt but his face markings were more husky than AKK, got him a DNA test and he's a Huskimo, but we don't love him any less, he's still our little applehead who is the reason we bought child locks for the kitchen.

Sorry for rambling about my dogs. Do you have any stories on how you got your dogs? Also is it common for them to learn how to open doors despite the door handle being way out of reach? Or is that just an applehead thing?

That is quite the story! Thank you for sharing all that, I’ll try and answer some of those questions.

Thank you, my babies are so pretty and I love them to death. However they are old pups, they’re 10 and 11! Both are of average size (≈55cm, like border collies or boxers) though not very tall, only up to about my knees at the most.

And apparently pretty common, I’m bot sure if your huskimo does it but the both of mine do. They know just where to bump my door for it to open, it is a tad bit hard for them to open it when it is fully clicked closed. Though Jamie (black and gray pup) is big-boned and can kinda bust through the door.

I do have a funny story about them though! We don’t have any kennels or anything so what we would do is put them in the kitchen. However my kitchen doesn’t have any doors and has this ledge that you can but things on. Once we locked them in with their doggy gates so they couldn’t escape when the family went out to do things. Apparently they felt SOOOOO hungry (despite us feeding them their usual breakfast) that they KNOCKED FOOD OFF THAT LEDGE! And most people would be like “oh yeah that’s goofy and all but it’s just food, it’s no big deal, right?” WRONG. THEY ATE A PLATE FULL OF COOKIES, PEANUT BRITTLE, AND FUCKING BIRD SEED.

BIRD. SEED.

They were fine though, Jamie did get a little sick but she was fine. It is a funny memory to see the bird seed everywhere along with foil and cookie crumbs. Hope this satisfied! ^^

#peachy talks #huskimos #dog story #long post

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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Hi! So, I absolutely love your series where the MC is the kid of Lucifer, and I was wondering if I could request that with Diavolo and Barbatos? •v•

:0 you definitely can! Right now I’m just doing Diavolo, but Barb’s will be up sometime soon!

MC is Half Demon and Oh Shit They’re Diavolo’s Kid-

Diavolo wasn’t exactly what one would expect of the prince of Hell, I mean, he was suppressing the urge to bounce in his seat from pure excitement. I mean, his exchange program was starting! Humans, demons, and angels, all together, his dream was coming true.

All that was left was for the student to arrive, the portal opened, and the human fell flat on their back. Oof, maybe Diavolo should have set up some kind of landing zone filled with pillows. No matter! The human was-

…

What peculiar eyes this human had…

Oh… oh dear…

Dad-volo

The MC was his child, no question about it. This was… very unexpected. Well, the entire assembly hall was completely quiet, and the kid looked like they were getting impatient.

“HEY! Mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”

After that, Diavolo launches into his explanation, also the explanation that he’s definitely this kid’s dad. Kid was not impressed, they tried to square up with Diavolo and Lucifer had never been more confused as to what to do.

Well, the moment MC sprouted wings and launched themselves at Diavolo, Dia caught them with one hand and continued speaking like nothing happened.

MC, please calm down… Diavolo didn’t know they existed, let him make it up to them! They’re going to stay at the Demon Lord’s Castle! Dia’s going to be a good dad!

“This feels like the plot to the world’s most messed up fairytale.” MC jammed their hands into their pockets and grumbled. “I get sucked into hell and find out I’m royalty there. Great.”

Diavolo managed to smile and awkwardly reach out to give them a pat on the head, then retracted his hand after the kid shot him a glare. “Well, it’s not a very traditional fairytale, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”

“Mm, sure.” MC mumbled.

Okay, so his child wasn’t that enthusiastic about the exchange program, but Diavolo was sure they’d come around.

Dia tried everything he could possibly think of to get his kid to both like him and enjoy their time as an exchange student. A lot of things had… mixed results.

Also, legally recognizing MC as his child and legitimizing them caused a big stink amongst the nobles who were opposed to the exchange program to begin with. So MC then had to deal with a few assassins. Wonderful. Fantastic. Show stopping. Dia, be a good dad and comfort your angsty murder target- I MEAN preteen.

They do manage to build a good relationship fairly quickly despite their less than stellar first impressions, and Diavolo made them a promise that he knew he wouldn’t ever break: he would let them live as normal a childhood as possible.

This means that MC gets to do all the normal kid stuff that Diavolo wasn’t allowed to do. It honestly works out great for everyone. MC gets to live their life, Diavolo gets the satisfaction of knowing that his kid’s having fun, and Barbatos doesn’t need to worry about MC causing chaos in the castle.

Man… does this kid’s magic potential scare the shit out of everyone though…

Tired Uncle Lucifer

No. This has to be a violation of his worker rights. It cannot be legal for him to be this stressed.

He knew this exchange program was a bad idea. LUCIFER FUCKING KNEW IT. This kid was judging him. Why did he suddenly feel self conscious about every single one of his features? This child was picking him apart and they hadn’t even said anything!

He confiscated Asmo’s phone immediately, this was a matter of national security! Satan’s too! Beel as- oh shit Lucifer may have to give Beel the heimlich maneuver, then take his phone.

When all the brothers eventually got back to the HOL, they were greeted with Mammon getting shaken down by Levi.

“Lucifer! Ya won’t believe this! Levi- what’s wrong with you?” “The exchange student is Diavolo’s child.” “What..?” “*pops the cork off a bottle of Demonus* the exchange student’s Diavolo’s child.”

The worst part about this kid was that they took to the privileges of being royalty like a fish to water. MC went out and did whatever the fuck they wanted, and Lucifer needed to make sure a state of national emergency wasn’t called just because MC picked a fight at RAD.

It didn’t help that MC was just so unimpressed with Lucifer. Anytime Lucifer would tell them not to do something they would just raise their eyebrows and challenge his authority without saying a word.

What the fuck.jpg

The things he does for his prince boyfriend…

Cool Uncle Mammon

Huh, so this little pipsqueak is Lord Diavolo‘s kid? Hm, do ya think they’d let him into the royal treasury? No? Okay… lame.

Mammon then decides this kid would be just perfect for scamming people! Who is going to say no to the Crown Prince’s kid? A suicidal person, that’s who!

And the kid is… up for it? Wow, Mammon didn’t even have to grovel! Awesome!

It’s such a shame that Lucifer came in and promptly removed MC from Mammon’s presence. Tsk, killjoy…

Mammon and MC do get along swimmingly after MC stops angsting. Whenever they hang out it’s pure chaos.

And they would have gotten away with it too- wait, they do get away with it. Because who’s going to question the Crown Prince’s kid? >:)

Reclusive Uncle Leviathan

Levi was in the middle of throttling Mammon for his money back when Lucifer burst through the door looking like he had spent over 1000 Grimm on a gacha game only to not get the card he wanted.

And where was that human he said would be staying with them? Huh? The human’s HUH????!!!!

… wack. Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on that Student Council Meeting…

Either way, ew, new person he needed to talk to. NO THANKS. Well, no thanks until MC started to visit the HOL to hang out with Mammon. Of course those two normies decided to bug him. OF COURSE.

Levi finally snapped when MC loudly proclaimed that they could totally beat Levi in Mario Kart. Haha, NO. Levi challenged the little runt to a 1 v 1 race on Rainbow Road.

Kid lost. Obviously. Rainbow Road is rigged.

Honestly, kid’s alright. Still a total normie, but not completely terrible.

Cat Uncle Satan

Huh, a half human child of the soon to be demon king, how very interesting.

Oh, and just look at Lucifer’s face. :D priceless. Satan wished he was fast enough to get his DDD out to snap a picture, but he wasn’t able to…

But back to MC, oh how very intriguing. How much power do they have in comparison to Diavolo? Will using that power rip their fragile little body apart? Would they learn to control it? Satan was just dying to find out.

His feelings on the child themselves were mixed at best. They were clearly unhappy with the situation and Satan could sympathize, being thrust into a completely new world and then being told you can’t leave and are also royalty? That has to be hard. But this kid was still being an unreasonable little shit.

Satan continued to try and study MC from afar until the kid themselves walked right up to him and half demanded half pleaded for his help in studying for a test.

Not being one to avoid an opportunity to flex how smart he is, Satan agreed to help out. (Nerrrrd)

And honestly, it went well. When the kid wasn’t being a little shit, they were actually quite pleasant to be around.

Overly Affectionate Uncle Asmo

…wut

Listen, when Asmo asked Lucifer to pick a cute human, he didn’t mean cute as in CHILD.

This kid was DIAVOLO’S?! What lucky human had gotten to have the experience of [Jesus Fucking Christ, Asmo I’m not writing what he said for the sake of the nation]

Anyhoo~ little MC just made his heart go “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!” They were so cute Asmo could just eat them up!

But they were so mean! That scowl they always had on was going to give them wrinkles and ruin their perfectly cute face!

Sigh, oh well. He can’t manually rearrange people’s expressions. What he can do is take this child shopping. Poor Diavolo was constantly in his RAD uniform, this poor innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate.

The kid continued to scowl at everything, but at the same time, their little quips were very entertaining. This little kid spitting verbal venom at anyone who displeased them reminded Asmo of someone… he just couldn’t place who, but they definitely had amazing hair and a cute face :3

Hungry Uncle Beel

Where’s the takeout- I mean human? What’s happening? …are all humans this small? Dang, that’s barely enough for a snack.

So the human’s not going to live with us because they’re not fully human and Diavolo’s kid? Huh. Wild. Anyway, what’s for dinner?

Beel’s not too invested in this drama, he misses Belphie too much to be that interested…

The kid’s weirdly interested in how cool and strong Beel is though. MC tails him to the gym pretty often.

Diavolo and Beel already being gym buddies send tweet-

Since this benevolent little shit likes Beel so much, they decided to take it upon themselves to help with the family drama.

Beel finds that very sweet 🥺

Murder sleepy Uncle Belphie

Oh man… if you thought Belphie was being unfair to L!MC due to their parentage… hoo boy…

When this kid waltzed up the attic steps like they ran the place, Belphie needed to hold himself back from trying to break down the door and throttle this kid.

Pff, of course Diavolo would have a half human kid. Of course.

…kid beat the shit out of him when he tried to kill them. We stan this MC.

After all is said and done, Belphie still isn’t overly fond of MC. They’re brash and rude and only funny 40% of the time. They don’t even like napping 😒

But Beel likes the little runt, so Belphie and MC put up with each other.

Bonus! Your Angelic Uncle Simeon’s Chihuahua

:0 friend!

MC: *speaks*

>:0 not friend! Begone! *throws crucifix*

#obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #Obey me Headcanons #obey me! headcanons #obey me Diavolo #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor

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rocorambles · 3 years

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Reciprocate

Pairing: Akaashi x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Mafia AU, Kidnapping, Rape/Non-Con, Forced Impregnation, Objectification, Degradation, Humiliation

Summary: You should have known better than to think you could ever truly escape from him, especially when you carry something he treasures so dearly inside of you.

You reminisce on the early days when you had met the beautiful dark-haired man, when you had been swept off your feet by striking blue eyes and a serene composure.

Akaashi had never been just normal to you and you remember how he had made your head spin with the air of mystery he carried around him, how your heart whipped back and forth between the always surprising mixture of sharp blunt words and eloquent poetry he entrapped you with. He was a man full of surprises, truly multi-faceted and you remember watching in awe at how quickly he could go from easily and agilely maneuvering his toned athletic body in the gym to lazily reading classic literature with a hand posessively but gently wrapped around your waist as you curled up besides him on the couch.

There are many words you could have used to describe Akaashi. But dangerous? Dangerous was not one of them.

Funny how quickly things can change.

Even as careful as Akaashi is, even he can’t foresee unexpected circumstances, especially when you are more entangled in the webs of his life than he ever meant for you to be. And he is forced to reveal who he truly is to you or kill you when you get caught up in things and with people who shouldn’t have ever even known you existed.

You wouldn’t be the first woman he’s killed and his mind flickers to numerous dead bodies, corpses of prostitutes and other unfortunate women strewn about when things became too complicated, when they threatened his position and the safety of his clan. But he can’t bring himself to pull the trigger, can’t even bring himself to think about aiming at you.

You’re not like the other fleeting distractions and for the first time ever, Akaashi Keiji breaks Fukurodani policies by revealing everything to you in the hopes that you’ll accept him as everything he is, that you’ll join him for the long run.

Blue eyes storm over when you don’t look at him with the love and acceptance he expected of you, only fear and disappointment apparent in your eyes, and his hands instinctively clench into fists when you flinch away from him, scrambling to create space between the two of you when he reaches out to reassure you that underneath the terrifying family name and insignia, he’s still just him.

Fine. You’re scared? He’ll give you something to actually be scared of.

His fingers dig deeper than necessary as they roughly drag and shove you, movements harsh and rough enough to make a very clear point, but never enough to permanently mark you. He likes his possessions as pristine as possible after all. And he smiles at how quick you are to go limp in his arms, obediently letting yourself be led when Akaashi’s silky voice patronizingly tells you what a shame it would be for your beautiful body to be decorated with bullet holes.

You know who Boktuo Koutarou is, even if you’ve never physically met him. Everyone in your city knows who he is, his name whispered and murmured in the streets, tales of his erratic temperament and ruthless wildness spread far and wide. The Fukurodani clan has always been a powerhouse in the underground world, has always controlled your city with an iron fist, and Bokuto, even by Fukurodani standards, has more than risen to the challenge of continuing his family’s undeniable reign, garnering respect and fear even among the monsters that share his insignia. So even though you’ve never met him, you know exactly who you’re shoved to your knees in front of, who Akaashi reverently speaks to and asks for permission from to keep you at the base as his pet, and you don’t dare open your mouth or raise your head, absolute terror paralyzing you.

Gold eyes peer at you in interest. Whores aren’t uncommon in the base, lewd moans and slick sounds sometimes making the base seem more like a brothel than the home of illicit dangerous business and Bokuto has always encouraged and rewarded his men with the best cunts money can buy especially after particularly successful or tiresome raids. But for as long as he’s known Akaashi, he can count the number of times the younger man has partaken in those base pleasures on just his fingers and even then, they’ve always been one night stands, brief flings. So he’s surprised, to say the least, when the dark haired man asks to keep you around as his little toy and he has a gut feeling that you’ll become a permanent extension of the family, but how can he deny the man who’s resolutely stayed by his side all these years, who’s pledged his life and loyalty to him? Akaashi asks for so little and if all he wants is for Bokuto to provide protection and surveillance for one more body to be happy, then so be it.

You’re no stranger to sharing a bed with Akaashi, but this is different. You had always thought that he had been holding back with you, swearing that you saw a hint of something darker gleaming behind blue orbs only for it to dissolve away as you were swept away by sensual languid pleasure and gentle, attentive words. And you hate that you were right, voice going hoarse as you scream at the top of your lungs as you’re ruthlessly taken over and over again, a coldness in the eyes you had once loved that pierces deep within you, animalistic possessiveness in the way he marks you, long slender fingers leaving bruises in their wake as he holds your writhing body in place as he thrusts in and out of your abused lower lips.

Day in, day out. All you know is a fitful sumber that exhaustion forces you into and Akaashi. His scent, his touch, his voice. You’re drowning in his essence. Dying. No. That would be preferable. At least there would be an end. And you silently grieve, unable to even cry real tears anymore when you wonder when this will ever end, if this will ever end.

As much as Akaashi would love to permanently lay beside you, duty and appearances do call from time to time and he reclines across from Bokuto, watching the black and white haired man boisterously chat with Kuroo Tetsurou, the current head of Nekoma as scantily clad women surround the two men, dragging fingernails down their chests and shamelessly shoving their breasts into their faces in the hopes of gaining their favor. They sure do seem to be enjoying themselves and Akaashi grimaces when one of the prostitutes begins to loudly moan as she grinds against his leader’s swelling erection which doesn’t go unnoticed by sharp eyes.

“Akaashi, don’t be so uptight. Why don’t I send some of them to your room tonight to help you loosen up?”

Bokuto knowingly smiles in amusement when he’s promptly rejected.

“Ah, that’s right. You still have your cute pet. But you know Akaashi, pets are temporary. Don’t you think it’s time to make it a little more permanent? Maybe put a ring on it? Hell, I love kids. I wouldn’t mind having a few runts running around the base, especially if they’re yours.”

Their conversation is interrupted by a rude scoff and Bokuto snarls at Kuroo’s taunting words.

“Because God knows Bokuto isn’t having kids anytime soon. No woman could stand bearing his kids and listening to his loudmouth for the rest of her life.”

Akaashi tunes out their bickering as the gears in his mind churn.

He had kept you on your birth control pills, not wanting to disturb his time with you as he broke you in and figured out exactly what his plan for you is. He knows he loves you, knows there’s no life for him without you. But he wasn’t a dreamer. He’s fully aware just how dangerous his life is, how impossible it is for the both of you to be able to grow old together, how much more likely it’ll be that both of you end up dead side by side in a turf war gone wrong. Yet now all he can think of is what you’d be like as a mother, how you’d look pregnant with his children and when your pills run low, he tears your prescription to shreds in front of your eyes.

You have more fight left in you than he thought you would and he’s enraged by how much you despise the thought of carrying his children, every desperate plea for him to not cum inside of you while you’re unprotected, a direct insult to him and his love for you. All he sees is red as he breeds you over and over again, stuffing you full of his cock and his seed, never stopping until you’re filled to the brim with the sticky proof of his adoration, stomach heavy and sloshing with his declared affection.

Turbulent emotions ransack you and you wish you could blame it solely on the hormones raging throughout your impregnated body, but you know it’s deeper than that. It had been so easy to become numb to being used, being known as nothing more than Akaashi’s pretty pet, being the victim of a cold, ruthless stranger you realize now that you never really knew. But it’s agonizing to once again see the hints of the man you had fallen in love with and your heart aches at how gentle and considerate Akaashi is to you once more as your belly begins to swell, a comforting hand rubbing your back and holding your hair away from your face as morning sickness has you heaving over the toilet bowl. And you feel something break and shatter into a million pieces inside of you when one night, as your due date quickly approaches, he kneels in front of you, slipping the engagement ring of your dreams onto your trembling hand.

“I know this isn’t how you dreamed of any of this happening, but I promise you, once the child is born, I’m going to give you the wedding you always wanted and do my best to be the husband and father you deserve and want. I love you.”

You sob, tightly returning Akaashi’s embrace, burying your face in his chest, wishing with all your heart that things could have been different, that you could go back to those early days, that everything in between was a dream, a nightmare.

But this is reality and as you cradle your baby bump, you know that you need to do something, anything, now that it’s not just your life on the line anymore.

For the first time in a long time, it seems like fortune is finally on your side as Akaashi relinquishes his leash on you, trusting that your growing bump will permanently tie you to him, that you won’t even think of trying to escape in your current state. And you play your role perfectly, smiling and leaning into his careful touches, accepting the gifts and attention he lavishes you with, looking to all the world like an excited expecting mother perfectly matched with her doting fiance.

Akaashi resumes taking up longer projects and jobs, no longer seeing a need to keep as careful of a watch over you or a need to remind you of your place besides him every night. And seeing one of their higher-ups relax makes everyone else careless, no one paying you much attention, no more armed men outside your door and windows when Akaashi is away.

Really, it’s embarrassingly easy for you to escape, so easy that you wonder if this is a trap, almost expecting Akaashi to appear from around every corner and drag you back to the prison he had created for you, and you shudder when you can almost feel his hands against your skin, his voice murmuring cruel cutting words into your ear.

But no one stops you and you slowly, but steadily make the long journey to Inarizaki territory, discreetly settling in and making a new home for yourself, starting a new life. Inarizaki and Fukurodani have never dealt much with each other, their territories so far apart that it’s pointless to clash or ally with each other when there are so many other enemies and friends closer to both their homes to deal with. You pray that it’s enough to hide you, to allow you to leave your wretched past behind.

It seems like your prayers are answered as month after month passes, as your belly grows and grows, as you give birth to a beautiful baby girl. You can barely remember a life outside of motherhood, your heart overwhelmingly full of love and happiness as you watch your daughter grow. And as you watch her take her first few wobbly steps as her first birthday passes, you let yourself finally believe that you can really move on and look forward, locking the blue-eyed demon of your past behind you once and for all.

Except that demon doesn’t want to be locked up, that demon is far too strong and cunning for your flimsy padlock, and you clutch your daughter to your chest when your door slams open one night and your apartment is swarmed by men with the Fukurodani insignia, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes when one last final figure makes their way past your threshold and you stare into familiar blue eyes.

As if your daughter can sense your anxiety, your fear, your hopelessness, she begins to loudly wail and bawl, wrapping her little arms around your neck and drenching your neck and shirt with her tears and snot, reminding you just how much is at stake right now.

You do your best to fake some semblance of calmness, drawing on your maternal instincts to still the quivering of your voice as you gently whisper soothing words in her ear, telling her everything will be fine, telling her that these are just mommy’s old friends, all the while watching your ex-lover gracefully make his way towards the two of you, subtly shielding her little body with yours as he approaches.

Realistically you know there’s not much you can do if he does mean harm to her, but you’d gladly die defending her to the best of your abilities if it came down to it, already ready to beg for her to be spared and for just you to be punished for your transgressions and your betrayal. You finch when you feel his weight settle besides you on the bed as he sits on the edge of the mattress, heart pounding as you feel his familiar presence, and you quickly turn to face him, only to be completely stunned by the softness in his eyes as he gazes at your daughter.

Relief floods through you and you hesitantly shift, allowing him easier access to see her, something bittersweet trickling inside of you as long slender fingers gently reach out to caress tear-stained cheeks, as your daughter’s sobs die down and curious eyes peer at the stranger who’s touching her. And deep inside you know Akaashi won’t harm her, will fiercely love her, as he tugs her out of your arms and pulls her into his lap, a sad smile pulling on your lips as you watch father and daughter reunite.

Deep inside you also know that you won’t be as lucky and your fears are confirmed when Akaashi stands, still cradling your giggling daughter in his arms, blue eyes pinning you down with a look you recognize all too well. There’ll be hell to pay for your actions.

You feel nauseous, body already aching and throbbing in anticipation of your punishment. But you plaster on a smile for your daughter as she happily plays with one of her favorite toys in the backseat of the car between Akaashi and you, peppering her tiny face with kisses as Akaashi and you tuck her into the gorgeous nursery he’s prepared for her, and wishing her good night as Akaashi leads you back out, continuously waving until the nursery door is firmly closed. And only then does your act drop and you sob as a hand harshly grips your wrist, tears only flooding down more as you recognize the hallway you’re being dragged down, body shaking when you’re shoved into a room and a bed you had tried so hard to forget.

Clothes are being torn from your body and you thrash around as lips descend upon you, a mouth hungrily molding with yours, yelping when teeth harshly bite on your lower lip before pulling apart. You feel so exposed, so helpless, so vulnerable as icy blue eyes glare down at you, Akaashi’s body pinning you in place as he takes in your figure, scrutinizing every line and curve of your body, mapping every familiarity and difference from the last time he’s seen you. But you lay still, wincing when his grip on your wrist becomes bone crushing when you try to instinctively cover yourself from him.

“I trusted you. I love you. And this is how you repay me? Running away from me? Keeping my daughter away from me?”

You open your mouth to stutter out some feeble excuse, but gasp when a hand wraps around your neck, warningly tightening before relaxing. The weight of his palm still against your throat keeps you silent.

“There’s no excuse for what you did. But I promised you that I’d be a good husband, so I’ll forgive you if you show me how sorry you are.”

You nervously watch as he completely lets go of you, eyes trailing after him as he settles his back against the headboard of the bed, beckoning you over to him with a single finger. And you can’t help but feel like foolish prey walking into a trap as you obey, body quivering in fear as he pulls you in and positions you so that your legs straddle his thighs, back arching and a cry slipping past your lips as he teasingly captures one of your nipples in his mouth and sucks.

“Still so sensitive.”

You hate how well he’s trained your body, how easily your body betrays you even after being separated from him for over a year, how well he knows every inch of you inside and out and shame and humiliation lance through you when a long digit easily slides into your already dripping heat.

“I think you’re more than ready, darling.”

Even past your wanton moans, the clanging metal of his belt unbuckling echoes throughout the room and you whimper as something hard presses against your entrance.

“Come on, love. It’s time for you to apologize. Do you know how much effort and time I spent searching for you?”

You yelp as the hands resting on your waist dig into your flesh before relaxing and rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

“But it’s okay because you’re here now, you and our daughter are here now, and neither of you are ever leaving me again. Right?”

You vigorously nod your head as blue eyes sharply stare at you, relaxing when they soften and a small smile plays on his lips.

“Good girl. Now prove it to me.”

You almost wish Akaashi had just forced himself upon you, finding it so much more demeaning to sink down on his cock all by yourself as he impassively sits back and watches you. But you’re sure that’s the whole point of this, for you to show your submission and acceptance through your actions. After all, nothing he ever does is meaningless.

And you truly do feel broken, like nothing more than a good wife, a good pet as you wildly shake your hips, bouncing up and down on his cock in a way that makes your breasts jiggle, pussy clenching even tighter and gushing even more when he orders you to look him in the eyes all the while.

“You’re making me feel so good, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful. You were made for my cock, made for me. Tell me who you belong to.”

In hindsight you’ll be embarrassed by how quick you are to babble his name over and over again in response. But here and now? All you can think about is the warmth in your chest as he praises you, the warmth in your belly as something pleasant and overwhelming builds inside of you. And Akaashi groans at how tightly you squeeze around him as your peak nears, almost cumming from just the hazed over arousal in your lust-filled eyes, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss and swallowing your cries of ecstasy as you reach your high, body convulsing and twitching in his arms as he holds you steady, lips still locked with yours as he thrusts up a few more times before finding his own release and spilling deep inside of you.

You slump onto him, exhausted body collapsing and still twitching from the onslaught of pleasure. But as the fog from your mind begins to ebb away, you involuntarily tense at the whispered “I love you” that sounds like nails scraping against a chalkboard, hesitating too long to respond in kind. And you know you’ve made a huge mistake when blue eyes are coldly regarding you once more, shivering from both the cold and fear as he pulls back from you before shoving you onto your back and settling between your legs.

“Looks like you need a little more encouragement to reciprocate my feelings. That’s okay. We have all the time in the world for me to show you just how much I love you.”

#yandere haikyuu #yandere akaashi #haikyuu smut #yandere akaashi x reader #akaashi x reader #tw: noncon #tw: rape #tw: pregnancy #tw: yandere #tw: impregnation

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galactic-glamour-girl-posts · 2 years

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My Top 10 Animaniacs Characters

I've already ranked the characters in a few tier lists, but after the release of season 2 I've changed my mind about a few characters in terms of ranking order, plus I just wanted to gush about my favs!

(Just a heads up...this is gonna be a long one.)

10-Julia

Julia 100% would be higher if she were in more than 2 episodes as of the time of writing, but she isn't so she lacks the depth others on the list have.

She was already sweet in her debut, but what ultimately got her here is how she stole the show in "Reichenbrain Falls". She went from being kind, considerate, hardworking yet somewhat reserved to being an over-enthusiastic, crazy genius out for revenge.

Honestly, I believe that she wants to take over the world not necessarily because she's interested in ruling the world, but more because of sunk-cost fallacy (she was really close to succeeding before Brain tried to mind-control her, plus her exact words were "...because I deserve to rule the world!") and because it would be the perfect way to get revenge on Brain.

What helps her stay likeable is that her wanting revenge is justified, what Brain did to her was wrong.

She's also really funny to watch-she's kind of like Brain and Pinky combined (Brain's intelligence with Pinky's insanity), and serves as a lasting consequence of Brain's actions. Whatever him and Pinky get up to is usually swept under the rug by the end of an episode as they return to the lab for tomorrow night, but not this time.

I'm glad they're not implying she still has feelings for Brain or that he might have feelings for her (so far, at least...please keep it up). Enemies to Lovers (or is it Lovers to Enemies to Lovers in this case?) has been done really badly in...certain franchises recently so I'm glad they're not doing that here.

Plus, Julia’s leitmotif is an inverted version of the Pinky and the Brain theme song-that's just cool!

9-Dr Scratchansniff

Up next is Scratchy!

What I like about Dr Scratchansniff is that due to his heavy accent, he could've easily been made a weirdo and have his whole character be "haha foreigners and their funny sounding accents, aren't they weird?" it was the 90's, they probably could've gotten away with it. Instead (thankfully) in most episodes the opposite is true. He's usually the straight man to other character's antics, be it the Warners, Mr Plotz, etc.

He also has a really nice "arc" (I use that term loosely) about warming up to the Warners. He goes from wanting to avoid them as much as possible (he even threatened to turn them into stew in The Monkey Song), to actually getting along with them pretty well, to essentially becoming their dad. I think it's sweet! Most people point to "I'm Mad" being the moment that established his "dad status" by taking the Warners to a Circus, but what sold it for me was actually the segment "Fake", where the Warners agree to come with Scratchy to a wrestling match, even though they know it's fake and didn't want to be there. He didn't force them, they agreed to go seemingly just to make him happy. I can't imagine the Warners purposefully choosing not to have fun for anyone other than someone they considered family.

Although season 4 and 5 of the original show kind of ruin it (their dynamic in "Anchors Awarners" is extremely simplified and then in season 5 the Warners barely interact with Scratchy)...but let's not talk about that, look at Scratchy tuck the Warners into bed!

Adorable!

8-Rita

She's not talked about all that much, but Rita actually has some depth to her character. Not to mention her segments had a lot of heart.

In "When Rita met Runt" we find out she was made cynical and world-weary due to neglect. She tries to tell herself she hates humans and just wants their food, but deep down she really just wants a good home with a loving owner. She tries to be independent and not get attached to Runt at first, but she does anyway and by "Puttin' on the Blitz" she proves to be fiercely loyal (and tough too) by giving up her chance for that loving home to save Runt.

At end of the day she really just craves love and affection, it's the main reason she considers raising the kittens in "Smitten with Kittens", even though she knows she can barely feed herself and Runt, let alone three more people. Her segments in the original probably had the most amount of heartfelt moments between them out of any other character's segments, which helps her character stand out amongst the more comedic members of the cast. The only downside of this is that due to her character being taken more seriously than most on the show, she's not all that funny. Not unfunny, but after her first episode (with snarky lines like "Get a kid lady") I can't recall that many times she made me laugh. Which is fine, but it IS a comedy show after all.

And she obviously has a phenomenal singing voice thanks to Bernadette Peters!

7-Nora

Nora was funny enough in season 1, but she didn't get much screen time. Her personality was established well enough-she was condescending, stern, and selfish, but she wasn't all that fleshed out, beyond being a sort of foil to the Warners. She's no-nonsense whereas they always mess about. What really got her on this list was how she was fleshed out in season 2. At first I did prefer Plotz, but season 2 has developed Nora to the point where I think she has more depth as a character than Plotz does. He's a fun character but was kinda just bossy, mean and greedy, that's about it-his season 2 cameo was fun though. We learn that Nora overcompensates for her lack of parenting skills by buying her daughter whatever she wants. She has also shown more signs of being short-tempered, having more fits of rage than last season. We also find out why she's so competitive and obsessed with success, because of her family, mainly her great grandmother Flora Dora. Her sisters belittle her, her great grandmother not only is a very successful business woman but also constantly organizes competitions at family gatherings, it's no wonder she's a firm believer in "pulling up the ladder behind her". She seems to want to live up to her great grandmother's legacy, she does seem to genuinely look up to her. Plotz was motivated mostly by making money, whereas Nora only seems interested in money as proof of her status and how successful she is, not necessarily due to greed, otherwise she wouldn't spend millions on her daughter. This may even explain why she is very concerned about being in shape (almost every time they cut to her in her office she's exercising).

She doesn't just want to be successful (or at least, her idea of being successful) she needs people to know it just by looking at her.

Overall, I like the direction they took with her character and I can't wait to see more from her.

6-Wakko

Surprised? I do like Wakko, but not as much as most of the fandom it seems.

He does stand out amongst the Warners though, being less reliant on witty dialogue and more on visual gags and slapstick.

One aspect of his character that I like that I don't see many people talk about is that he's a bit of a tinkerer. Moments that come to mind are when he "fixed" the garage remote in "Garage Sale of the Century", when he built a huge contraption just to use a whoopie cushion, and even one moment in the reboot where he microwaved a TV remote because he thought it would give it magical powers in "Animani-yet". I wonder if season 2 of the reboot establishing that he likes video games is meant to be acknowledgment of his interest in tech.

I like that all the Warners are supposed to be maniacs yet he's known as the "crazy one", which a lot of his gimmicks make pretty clear (his gag bag, saying made up words like "faboo", a weird obsession with Don Knotts, acts more animalistic than the other two Warners-often acting like a dog and is often seen letting his tongue hang out, etc).

I do like Wakko but to me he's more likeable than he is...funny? I dunno, he's not unfunny but he doesn't make me laugh as much as the next five do. Not to mention isn't that complex either, which is fine, I mean all Animaniacs characters aren't that complex to be honest, but Wakko more so than others.

Not to say that he's one-note, because he's not. In addition to being the insane "eating stuff guy", he's also naïve, optimistic, sincere (if not just straight up blunt at times), and kind-hearted, even though he can be emotionally volatile. There's no doubt in my mind the show wouldn't be the same without him.

5-Slappy

She may be ranked 5th highest, but if we're talking purely on a comedic standpoint Slappy's probably one of the funniest characters in the franchise. Part of the reason why is because...well...she's awful.

She's lazy. She's cranky. She's vindictive. She's bitter. She's violent and borderline sadistic. She's also aware of all that and doesn't wish to change.

She's where a lot of the show's cynical edge to its humour comes from. What helps is that for all her flaws, it's not like she actively tries to cause trouble. She just wants to be left alone most of the time. But, like what often happens to the Warners, someone just has to swoop in and act like a jerk. And when someone tries to mess with Slappy, she holds nothing back. It's almost admirable...almost.

Remember when she bombed a critic's house because he didn't find her funny (and expressed disappointment when she found out he WASN'T inside his house when she did)? Or when she threatened to blow up a jury (of biased wolves, to be fair) unless they voted her not-guilty on a crime she technically did commit...and then blew them up anyway?

Again, she's no role model. She does what she does because she thinks it's funny-and it is!

Although I do like the scene in "The Sound of Warners" that shows that whilst the Warners only use force against people who deliberately wronged them, Slappy will just bomb anyone who she finds annoying, whether they meant it or not. Stuff like that makes her bond with Skippy all the more adorable, because you know how mean she can be to almost everyone else. Yet she genuinely does a pretty good job raising Skippy. They get along pretty much all the time, she does her best to keep him happy (in "Bumbie's Mom" she flew across the country in a plane just so he'd stop crying over a movie, for example), she even tries to teach him lessons sometimes-although sometimes regrets it because it makes her "sound like an after school special".

She's a veteran toon who knows every trick in the book, often deconstructing gags and can beat her foes without breaking a sweat-now that's comedy!

4-Brain

Slappy has the edge when it come to comedy, but Brain is a bit more complex in terms of character and still makes me laugh. Slappy is funny but ultimately is a simple character.

Whilst Brain is very monotone in the early episodes, overtime he develops to become a lot more expressive, megalomaniacal, grouchy and sympathetic.

I admire his perseverance-the guy never gives up. He doesn't let the fact that he is a tiny lab mouse stop him from trying to take over the world, despite the fact that he has failed over and over again. Now, is this a good goal to have? No. Are his methods always morally sound? No. But you just can't help but root for him. Even though a lot of his plans are ridiculous, and even though Pinky tends to get blamed for them going wrong (and admittedly a lot of the time it is his fault) Brains screws up his own plans just as much. But I kinda like that? Brain's smart but he's not necessarily wise, if you get what I mean.

Brain's been given multiple backstories, but each one reveals he basically only wants to take over the world because he feels unsafe and fears not being in control for fear of it leading to him getting hurt. They also seem to have affected how willing he is to be open about his feelings or his affection for others (mainly Pinky). He tries to gain control of the world as a way of seeking comfort over what happened to him, be it him being taken from his home or being experimented on the the point where it physically damaged his tail. He also seems to genuinely believe he'd make the world a better place.

Then there's his bond with Pinky, which is..."complicated"? He does insult and bop him, but we know at this point he does consider him his best friend, he just struggles with being open about it. There have been multiple times when it seemed like he might lose Pinky forever, and each time he gets upset about it, sometimes to the point of crying. Not to mention he always makes sure his plans involve Pinky in some way, when he could probably come up with a plan that he could do completely by himself if he really wanted to.

The segment Future Brain even shows that he literally trusts Pinky more than he trusts himself. That's actually really sweet.

3-Pinky

I genuinely think Pinky is probably the nicest character on the show (although let's be honest, the bar isn't...all that high) considering he never really wants to fight or hurt anyone. He just wants to get along with everybody. In fact it's the main reason reason I ranked him higher than Brain. Not to blame Brain for being world-weary; given his trauma I get why he resorts to doing some of the things he does, but I just think Pinky's acts of kindness are touching. The usually emotionally constipated Brain even said once that Pinky is "pure of heart"...before insulting his intelligence(or I guess lack thereof), but still.

His endless loyalty and love for Brain is so endearing. His tendency to put Brain's wants above his own, like when he dedicated what was supposed to be his Christmas list to asking for something Brain wants, because he knows how much it means to Brain, or when he pushed aside his own birthday (the ONE day of the year he gets to call the shots) just so Brain could focus on taking over the world, is somewhat admirable but also kind of sad. In a good way.

Not that he lacks agency or his own wants/priorities. He's shown interest in make up, fashion, cooking, cheese (of course), whatever the latest most popular genre of music is (be it country or pop), etc. I think him spending so much time watching TV is what led to him being very interested in pop culture, and that in turn has led to him being more of a people person than Brain (which I guess isn't too hard to achieve). Pinky tends to get along with strangers quite well and very quickly most of the time, which has come in handy for a lot of Brain's plans.

Also, thanks to the "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" gag, he gets really bizarre dialogue a lot of the time, so bizarre you can't help but laugh. Not to mention the times he just resorts to saying made up words.

Another reason Pinky is so high is because right out the gate he proved to be an entertaining character. Brain took a while to become an engaging character, but Pinky always had fun quirks, even before his later developments. We find out pretty soon he's a TV addict, has a funny British accent, is cheerful, spontaneously yells made up words , and is really, REALLY stupid. Slappy excels at comedy, but Brain has more depth as a character, and Pinky is a good middle ground between those two things.

2-Dot

Can I talk about her design first? She is the cute one after all. I appreciate that, unlike a lot of female character designs for animals (particularly older designs, from the 1920's all the way to the 90's), she's not just the main male lead turned pink or with a bow on-for example, she has no whiskers, unlike Yakko or Wakko (those aren't whiskers, that's her hair). She also isn't unnecessarily given human anatomy or human-looking hair. She isn't permanently given eyelashes to make it obvious that she's a girl-she's only drawn with eyelashes when she's purposely trying to look cute for the camera, as seen below. Otherwise she'll just have dot eyes, just like her brothers. This post will give you a better idea of what I mean.

In fact she probably has the best design of the Warners. Not only is she, well...CUTE, her pink skirt and flower help her look feminine and stylish, but without over-doing it with the cuteness by giving her a more covered up/conservative (conservative as in traditional, not in a political context) look . Her brothers' designs don't really say anything about their personalities (if you didn't know who Yakko and Wakko were, what about their designs would indicate that Yakko likes to talk? Or that Wakko likes to eat?) Her outfit is also the best homage to classic characters from the 1920's/30's.

Yakko would be more accurate if he was wearing shorts, and Wakko's backwards cap screams the 90's.

Fun fact! Dot's original concept art design kinda resembles Minnie's modern look (although given when it was drawn, this was of course unintentional)

Now on to her personality, Dot has a lot of good dialogue, although some lines make me laugh specifically because of Tress Macneille's delivery. Dot often uses cuteness to get out of danger or to give foes a false sense of security, so it's all the more surprising when she roars at them or bludgeons them with a mace. It's sneaky and it's cool to see how she takes what many might see as a weakness (being small and dainty) and make it her strength.

And given that she was created in the 90's, I appreciate that she's actually allowed to be witty and funny and wacky and isn't just eye candy or the damsel in distress, or the love interest (although since she's the little sister this was a given), or the no nonsense one. She has a very fleshed out personality. She's acerbic, short-tempered, extremely confident in herself, competitive, violent, and LOVES getting attention. Obviously she's not the first good animated female character, but legitimately well written animated female leads who didn't have sexist tropes tied to their characters were rarer back in the day.

Whilst I do applaud the original series for how it handled Dot's cuteness, I do like how the reboot has shown how she can stand out amongst the Warners beyond being the "cute one". Let's be honest, in the original series her other defining traits were taken to the extreme by one of her brothers; her brothers got to be the best at multiple things whilst she only got one main thing (Honestly I also personally think the original series kinda underutilised her in general compared to her brothers). Yeah she was smart but Yakko was the smartest. Yeah she could be violent but Wakko was more destructive. So what was left for Dot to be the best at? Being cute...and that's about it. So it's great to see that in the reboot many episodes have emphasized that she does excel in at least one other area beyond being cute-determination. Segments like Rug of War, Warner's Ark, The Warner's Vault, Suffragette City, etc really show off her spunk and how passionate she can be, even more so than her brothers.

1-Yakko

No change here, Yakko's still my favourite! He has a lot of traits I find entertaining; he's a wise-guy, a know it all, a good big brother, crafty, and actually pretty laid back when not purposefully playing up the zaniness. His snarky remarks are always great, they always seem to save the best dialogue for him. I like that the reboot emphasized just how much he likes to sing. He always did, all the Warners do, but Yakko in particular seems almost obsessed with it. It makes sense, he is the one who yaks, plus it makes for a funny running gag.

He also tends to try and turn things into a comedy bit. He's shocked about a new revelation? He grabs a drink just so he can do a spit take. They lack a map? He pretends to have one and claims it's improv. He's definitely dedicated to being "the funny guy".

One thing I find funny about him is that he can get weirdly petty about things (specifically needing lukewarm tea, insisting his slacks are smoky topaz not tan, considering wearing a coat as some sort of sacrifice, etc)

it's also nice to see a male lead in a cartoon comedy that isn't either optimistic, upbeat and wacky-but dumb, or they are smart but are either cynical, grouchy and/or mean, or they're the "loser" nerd who gets made fun of every other episode. Heck, those descriptions fit some characters within Animaniacs itself! But not with Yakko, turns out male leads can be energetic AND smart without being made fun of for it! Who would've thought? Obviously, again, NOT the first time this has happened in a cartoon (Sokka, for example), but I find that a lot of male main characters (I'm talking specifically about animated comedies here, not fiction in general) fall under one of those three categories.

And unlike his siblings, who will often resort to violence/slapstick to best an opponent, Yakko (usually) just solves his problems verbally, which I find a little more engaging to watch. "Morning Malaise", "Rome Sweet Rome" and the song "Be Like Me" are some good examples of this.

"Fear and Laughter in Burbank" I would argue improves his character, confirming that he hates being alone, fears not being funny/losing his voice and seems to seek validation, via either his jokes or his singing. Hence why he references Yakko's World a lot, it's a crowd pleaser. It's his go-to to get someone to like him, like in "Sweet and Sour Sixteen" when he tries to calm the crowd, and in "Yakko Amakko" when he tries to win the animator over by singing it. It's endearing to see a more anxious side to a character who otherwise doesn't take things too seriously.

Alright, that's all I got! This might be my longest post ever but it was really fun to write. Who are your favourite Animaniacs characters?

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wispvial · 3 years

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So I finally posted my Franklin/Nubbins fanfiction, lol. Shout out to the three or so people who might enjoy it, I just had fun writing, even if I’m not confident! I wasn’t so sure about tagging, but there are allusions to violence and animal death, the kind you’d see in the movie.

#texas chainsaw massacre #nubbins sawyer #franklin hardesty #franknub #tcm #mine

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hyacjnthus · 3 years

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i wrote this theory back in september before the release of tower of nero and i was so proud of the theory but it didn’t happen lol

—————

This is a bit far fetched, but I think Michael Yew is going to appear alive.

Before you object, hear me out:

The Battle of Manhattan starts on August 17, 2009. Michael goes M.I.A. (Missing in Action: As confirmed on the fandom page) on that day after after Percy destroys part of the Williamsburg Bridge to prevent Kronos from crossing.

As he doesn’t reappear after the Battle and back at camp when Rachel becomes the Oracle, the camp decides to presume him to be dead.

Now here’s where it gets interesting...

After Percy blows up Mount St. Helen’s, he ends up on Ogygia — Calypso’s island.

I think Michael ended up there.

As explained in some of the books and on the fandom page for his character, he is said to be “often bad-tempered, but is a good fighter, and quick on his feet and with his mind. He has a smart mouth, and gets into fights a lot because he always seems to have a chip on his shoulder.”

When he arrives on the island, he is very confused by his surroundings, just as Percy was because Michael wasn’t around when Percy explained his time in Ogygia.

Assuming Calypso had to often tell and re-tell her story to demigods over time because “No man finds Ogygia twice”, Michael would have probably been insistent on leaving.

Same as with Leo, due to Michael’s stubbornness, Calypso doesn’t fall in love with him right away. In fact, it takes a long time; longer than when Percy or Leo was there (even though Leo was yet to come).

Calypso explains to Percy that “time is difficult here” so Michael could have thought he was there for a few days or months, but in reality, he could’ve been there for a year, up until right before Leo arrives. So he could’ve been there from August 17, 2009 to about July 5 - 18 2010 (the time span of days that Leo arrived as there is no specific date to when Khione destroyed the Argo II.)

At the time Leo arrives and lands on the table it is described as such: “The crater was littered with broken wooden furniture, shattered china plates, some half-melted pewter goblets, and burning linen napkins. Leo wasn’t sure why all that fancy stuff had been on the beach, but at least it meant that this place was inhabited, after all.”

To add onto the point of Michael being there just before Leo, the table might have been set up for a meal Calypso and Michael were eating when the raft finally arrived. At this point, Calypso would have fallen in love with Michael, and he decided to leave in hopes of finding his family at Camp Half-Blood.

Obviously, it would break Calypso’s heart, like it always had when the curse intervened; but then she was sent another: Leo.

When he lands on the table, Calypso traipses over and complains to the gods saying, “It’s not bad enough I am exiled? It’s not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I’m allowed to meet? You think it’s funny to send me this— this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!”

She could’ve considered Michael one of the “good heroes” because he risked his life for camp, his siblings, and Percy Jackson.

The time gap between Percy and Michael’s visit would sure have been a little under year which gave Calypso optimal time to be alone. Presuming Michael left just before Leo arrived, she only had a moment’s peace which could explain why she was so mad when Leo showed up.

She could have also been angry about the table because after Michael left, she knew she would be alone again after a long time with him and needed something to remember him by.

Leo’s physical appearance could often serve as a reminder of Michael who she had grown fond of. The two boys may be of different heights by a foot, but share similar qualities like their black hair and brown eyes, and possible occurrences of how they ended up there that made Calypso so sensitive upon arrival.

Causing more rage, Leo calls her “Sunshine” to which she returns with, “Do not call me Sunshine!”

During her time with Michael, it was likely she would have learned about his family, like his siblings and that he was a son of Apollo, god of the Sun. There is a slim chance that Michael would have called her that in their time together.

Again, in The Battle of The Labyrinth when Percy ends up departing the island, Calypso tells him how the raft works. “This will take you wherever you desire.” For Michael, he would’ve wished to go back to Camp Half-Blood as Percy did, but he doesn’t even know if there is a Camp Half-Blood to go back to. Due to that, he orders it nowhere and instead tries to find his way back home by himself.

After a little over a year of searching, fighting monsters (with a new bow he probably he would have got Calypso to make) and the stormy seas, he eventually finds camp and reconvenes with his brothers and sisters while Apollo is on the other side of the country.

When his father returns to New York, he would help his father return to being a god in a final battle with Nero, even though the gods were never really there for them.

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notdonesimpin · 3 years

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unconditional ~h.i.~

hajime iwaizumi x fem!reader

warnings: i mean this is just fluff. i guess it has funny moments but just a family doing family tings

synopsis: we never know the love of a parent until we become a parent ourselves

a/n: so in this, you and iwa have three kids. Kosuke(15), Hayami(10), and Toshiro(5) for a little background. um you guys were like 20 when Kosuke was born (isn’t necesary info but there you go) so needless to say he was a happy accident. hope you enjoy :)

We never know the love of a parent until we become a parent ourselves.

“Kosuke! Hayami! Toshiro! Dinner!” you yell up the stairs and make your way back to the kitchen.

Your phone buzzed with a text from Iwaizumi. It read: Meant to text you earlier. Plane had a delay, so I’ll be back in two hours or so.

You sigh, typing back a quick reply as Toshiro says, “My favorite!”

You look up with a laugh before furrowing your brows. “What’s Kosuke doing?”

“I heard him singing. I guess he’s writing again. When’s dad getting home?” Hayami sits at the table and starts making her plate.

“There’s a delay, so it’ll be another two hours. Are you guys planning on wearing him down as soon as he gets here?” you tease.

“He promised he’d start showing me how to play volleyball when he got back!” Toshiro exclaims, tossing his arms in the air as you sit a plate down in front of him.

“He promised me we’d get a puppy! I don’t want him to forget!” Hayami adds.

“Well, the shelters are going to be closed when he gets back.” You shook your head in amusement, walking back towards the stairs. “Kosuke?!” you yell as you make your way upstairs.

The closer you get to the end of the steps, the louder the sound of Kosuke’s singing becomes.

You knock on the door and slowly open it to see him lying on the bed with his headphones in and eyes closed.

“But a boy can dream his heart away that he’ll find a boy who swings his way… Sometimes I wish that I was straight. I wouldn’t have have to play these stupid games. Like analyzing the way he talks,” he softly sang, humming a few of the lines that he hadn’t quite figured out yet.

You lightly tap on his shoulder and his eyes shoot open as he pulls out his headphones. “Mom!” he exclaims.

“Writing a new song?” you ask, tapping the journal beside him as you sit on the edge of his bed.

“Yes, but it’s not what you think! I’m not into guys or anything,” he rambles, trying to think of some plausible excuse, “I just wanted to write a song from that perspective. It’s for the showcase at school.”

You softly smile, accepting the obvious lie as you get up and ruffle his hair. “Well, it sounds really good so far. I just wanted to tell you that dinner is ready,” you pause at the door, “Not to put any pressure on you because it is your moment, but if you are- I’m all ears. I’m sure your dad is, too.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Hey, Dad?” Kosuke speaks up as he walks in the living area and sits across from Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi looks up from Toshiro on his chest. “What’s up, Kosuke?”

“I want to talk to you about something…” Kosuke looks down, fiddling with his fingers.

Iwa notices the nervous habit and leans forward, taking Toshiro off of him. “Tosh, how about you go play with Mom for a little bit?” he suggests.

“Okay!” Toshiro rushes off.

“Is everything okay?” Iwaizumi asks.

“How’d you ask Mom out?”

“We had our final practice as third years and she went to eat with Oikawa and me afterwards. I walked her home to make sure she got back safely and told her that I wanted to keep hanging out with her after we graduated. Whether that be as friends or more than friends.”

“Dad, that’s so lame!” Kosuke groans.

Iwaizumi chuckles in amusement, “Well, it only worked because I already knew she liked me. She’s very bad at hiding her feelings. Is there someone you have a crush on?”

“Yeah, um,” Kosuke clears his throat, “There’s this guy in the music club with me. I thought we’d never talk outside of the club, but we started hanging out outside of school. I don’t know if he’s doing that because he likes me or because he just considers me a real friend.”

Iwaizumi nods, “Are you guys hanging out with a group or is it just the two of you most of the time?”

“It’s usually just the two of us. He started walking home with Hayami and me on the days where one of us couldn’t hang out.”

“From what you’re telling me, I think he likes you. If you’re worried about how to ask him, just do what feels right. It doesn’t have to be extravagant; it just has to truly convey how you feel. That’s why I told her the way that I did. We’d been friends for years, so I just talked to her like I always do.”

Kosuke’s eyes widen as he realizes that Iwaizumi didn’t even question that it was a guy. “Dad, I just told you that I like guys and you have no reaction…”

Iwaizumi softly smiles and ruffles the boy’s hair. “Who you like doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy. Girl, guy, non-binary. As long as they make you smile, I have no problems.”

Kosuke starts crying and attacks Iwaizumi in a hug, catching him by surprise and making him almost fall back on the ground as he wraps his arms around Kosuke.

“You haven’t hugged me like this since you were Hayami’s age,” Iwaizumi jokes, earning a small laugh from Kosuke.

“I’m just really happy that you accept me. I’d heard about so many people getting rejected by their parents. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

The tears start falling harder down his son’s face as Kosuke moves back from Iwa to wipe his tears. Iwaizumi could feel his heart breaking from imagining how terrified Kosuke must have been.

“I could never hate you, Kosuke. I can’t even imagine a scenario where I would. You’ll always be my kid. What have I always told you?”

Kosuke sniffles, looking up to see the calm look of his father as he says, “Don’t be like Uncle Oikawa?”

Iwaizumi laughs, “Well, yes. But, on a serious note, you mom and I will always be here for you. Even when you think you don’t deserve it. Hell, even if you don’t want us to. You’re our first born. Though, we don’t treat you like a baby anymore because of your siblings, you’ll always be that baby boy I held in my arms who I swore to protect with my life if need be.”

“Kosuke! Can you run the store-” your words trail off as you see Kosuke’s tear stained cheeks.

“Ko? Are you sad?” Toshiro immediately asks, tears welling up in his own eyes from seeing his brother like that.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Kosuke quickly gets up, wiping his eyes as he walks over to the both of you and wraps you in a tight hug.

Your eyes widen, wrapping your free arm around him. “What did I do to deserve this?” you say.

“When you heard me in my room the other day, you didn’t question or anything. You didn’t even tell Dad. Thank you for waiting.”

“Of course, Ko. It’s your secret. You should tell it when you’re ready.”

“I wanna know! I can keep a secret!” Toshiro wraps his arms around Kosuke, successfully getting out of your arms.

Hayami walks down the stairs, “Are we talking about Kosuke being gay?”

“I’m not gay, you little runt!” Kosuke retorts.

“Tell that to Kenji!” Hayami sticks out her tongue as you and Iwaizumi laugh at the pair.

#hajime iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu!!#hq #hajime iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime #hq masterfind

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fandomlurker · 3 years

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A Ponderous Rewatch: In the Garden of Mindy

So today’s episode is neither a regular Pinky and the Brain skit nor a mere cameo. Today’s episode is…different, as the opening that spoofs the 1980s CBS Special Presentations pops up.

Perhaps the Warner Siblings can shed some light on this?

“Hi. We’re the Warner Brothers.”

“…And the Warner Sister.”

Look at these smug little gremlin children. You just know something is wrong when they make faces like that.

“And we’d like to invite you and all the members of your household…”

“…to gather around the TV set and join us now…”

“…for a very special episode of Animaniacs.”

“And what’s so special about it?”

“I’m not wearing any pants!”

…Wakko, you’re never wearing any pants.

Okay, okay, so we have the usual opening song and then the real explanation comes along.

“Welcome to the Animaniacs test kitchen!”

Oh no…

“We’re cookin’ up something really different for today’s show. All we need are our ingredients!”

Oh, kids, no!

“A dash of Pinky and the Brain!~”

WARNERS, PLEASE!!!

Man, the mice look so worn out. Did they…try to escape the Warner Siblings to avoid this whole thing? Like, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they look so tired as opposed to surprised or nonchalant like the other characters: They’re exhausted from attempting to run away. And for Pinky to be tired out is very, very telling.

“A cup of Slappy Squirrel!~”

Slappy is resigned to her fate.

“A tablespoon of Goodfeathers~”

I’m sorry about the smear face I managed to capture on you, Yakko.

I love how Bobby’s smirking a little, Squit is grinning like usual, and Pesto is looking at both of them like “If this is in any way you guys’ fault, I swear to the Godpigeon you’re all in for a beaking.”

“Add Rita, Runt, then swirl!~”

Meanwhile, Rita and Runt are just baffled.

“We add a pinch of Hippos~”

Why do you only have one of them?

…Wait, this is a fat joke, isn’t it? Goddammit.

“Buttons and Mindy, too~”

“Now top it off with Skippy Squirrel~”

Buttons and Flavio right now:

“What’s that make?

Animaniacs Stew!~”

Well, okay. We can at least call everything that results from this by a catchy name: The Stew AU.

“What’d we come up with?”

“Just watch…”

Oooh, children. You’ve committed a culinary evil this day.

“They’re Mindy and the Brain~”

So we’re mixing up the Animaniacs cast of characters and shows today.

[sighs]

Okay, so I guess it’s time to explain the basic premise of the Buttons and Mindy shorts and why they’re not fondly remembered, huh?

Well, the whole thing with Buttons and Mindy is a variation on the Baby’s Day Out type of scenario. Buttons the family dog is put in charge of guarding and babysitting Mindy, a friendly and curious toddler, by the mother of the family. The mother leaves to go…somewhere, and Mindy inevitably wanders off to chase after a bug or something new and interesting that she sees. Buttons goes after her because he loves Mindy very much and wants to keep her safe and be a Good Dog, and Mindy naively and unknowingly wanders into increasingly dangerous and life-threatening situations that Buttons must save her from, all the while getting beaten and bruised by the situations that were threatening Mindy.

The shorts usually end with Mindy and Buttons somehow ending up back home with Buttons ragged from the abuse he’s endured and Mindy perfectly fine except for maybe not being tied to her tether or in her playpen or whatever. The mother comes home and sees that Mindy is not quite where she was when she left her, or the surrounding area is a mess or something equally not that terrible, and berates Buttons for not taking better care of Mindy and calling him a Bad Dog.

And that’s where it ends.

If you’re not busting a gut at that description, congratulations, you are just like 90% of the Animaniacs audience.

The reason these shorts just don’t work for a lot of viewers, myself included, is that this kind of scenario is only funny once or maybe twice. After that, you just end up feeling bad for Buttons and don’t want to see a cartoon dog go through a conga line of pain that he doesn’t deserve. Not to mention that the whole premise can be boiled down to “Severe Parental Anxiety: The Show”, and not a lot of people like feeling that way for ten minutes or so per cartoon episode.

The reason the scenario works for a comedy movie like the aforementioned Baby’s Day Out is because the people going after the baby in that movie are kidnappers and obviously terrible people who only look out for the child’s safety so they can hold the kid for ransom, thus the pain they go through while the child remains okay is funny. Trying to do the same thing with an innocent family dog that just wants to keep a toddler safe? Not very funny at all. It’s just sad.

“Mindy and the Brain!

One’s a small child,

And the other’s…the Brain!~”

So now we have a Buttons and Mindy episode with Brain filling in for Buttons. Already this is…not great, but I suppose it’s the only suitable fit for Brain because he’d have it so, so much worse if he was put in the cast of the other skits.

I like the Goodfeathers skits, but I feel like Bobby and Pesto wouldn’t put up with his world domination shtick and end up berating him and/or beating him up. And Squit? Squit’s a do-gooder but he definitely doesn’t have Pinky’s level of passive subordination. Brain would be completely out of his league.

This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t want to see Brain interacting with the Goodfeathers, because holy shit yes PLEASE I would love the chaos that would ensue. I just think Brain wouldn’t last on his own with them.

Brain would, again, be completely out of his element in a Slappy Squirrel cartoon. Slappy’s skits hinge on her being a senior Looney Toon-type who knows just how to handle absurd scenarios and villains. Brain gets lost and confused incredibly quickly when unexpected situations pop up. He’s not a quick thinker in general. He’d be toast.

Being inserted into a Rita and Runt skit… Well, Rita wouldn’t be a good partner for obvious reasons that will become even more apparent later. And Runt is kind and a bit dimwitted but he’s no Pinky. Runt isn’t the type to be interested in helping to take over the world. He just doesn’t have the skills to do…almost anything that Pinky can, and he doesn’t have the drive to do it. Runt just wants a home and that’s it.

As for the Hip Hippos, there’s a skit of theirs down the line where Brain is involved and it honestly turns out about as well as it does for Brain in this episode.

So, let’s see how Brain fares in a world without Pinky.

“He uses his lobe

To overthrow the globe!~”

Also, we’re again treated to TMS doing the animation, which certainly elevates this skit quite a bit.

“She’s whimsy,”

I love how Brain goes from shock and surprise to absolute petulant grumpiness after seeing that Mindy put him in a jar.

“They’re Mindy and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!~”

If only this was the extent of your humiliation today, Brain. If only.

[Various raspberry and baby babbling noises]

“Hi, Lady!”

“It’s ‘Mom’.”

This is honestly the only joke I ever liked in the Buttons and Mindy shorts. Apparently it was based on something a real child of a friend of an Animaniacs creator would say to their mom.

“Now listen, honey, mommy has to go to a better parenting conference. You stay right here and play.”

A “better parenting conference”, huh? Lady, you need it more than you know. For many reasons.

“Okay Lady, I love you, buh-bye!~”

Is anyone else getting a horrid sense of foreboding and dread from Mindy’s doll looking like a simplified Elmyra?

“Now, Brain, you keep an eye on Mindy while I’m gone.”

Nothing like leaving a mouse in a cage in charge of a toddler, huh?

Gosh, brain’s so adorably chubby in this episode. Look at him. Look at that grumpy face and that pudgy belly.

“I always get an attitude from him…”

Yeah, he’s… Yeah. That’s Brain, all right.

“At last, that meddler is gone! I’m free to begin my plan to…conquer the world!”

I love that back shot of Brain so much. It’s perfect. That’s the perfect Brain proportions and I can only dream of being able to draw cartoons that well.

“First, I’ll use telepathy to open the cage.”

C-come again? “Telepathy”?

Brain, honey… You’re looking for the word “telekinesis”. You should know this.

Also I guess Pinky’s not the only one with telekinesis capabilities.

The fact that he cocks his head to the side when he turns the trowel with his mind is a nice little detail.

“Now to get Mindy…”

That strut, though. He’s a mouse on a mission.

“Come, Mindy, it’s time for us to conquer the world!”

...Okay, I’ll say it: Mindy is very cute in this shot.

Meanwhile Brain...looks like a gremlin.

“Why?”

“By right of superior intelligence, I am best suited to guide the destiny of this planet.”

Careful, Brain. You’re getting dangerously close to--

“Why?”

“My empirical powers give me the mandate.”

BRAIN, this is starting to sound like eugenics...!

“Why?”

“Because it’s something I want to do!”

Oh lord, without Pinky to reel him in and remind him of all the real reasons he wants to conquer the world, the Brain of this universe has devolved into a mouse driven purely by ego and spite.

His little tantrum is adorable, though.

“Okay, I love you! [MWAH~]”

“I am uncomfortable with that.”

The Brain be like: What is this...”affection” you speak of? This is new and scary to me.

“Now listen closely, Mindy: Using the gardener’s weed killer, manure, and a little zoysia grass,--”

Zoysia grass is an actual thing, by the way. It’s the kind of grass you see mostly on golf courses.

“--I will construct a powerful stink bomb!”

GAH! No need to punctuate the term by making your eyes bulge, Brain.

“We’ll use the lawn mower engine to construct a rocket and fill it with the gas. When precisely launched, the prevailing winds will spread the gas across the world’s capitals.”

As impressed as I would be with you being able to make a rocket from a lawn mower engine, Brain, it’s kind of overshadowed by you doing that thing again where you make a drawing animate like a video. Another strange power to add to the list, I suppose.

“As the stench drives the government officials out into the streets, we will rush in and seize power!”

Good lord, Brain, calm down. You’re gonna break that pointing stick!

“You understand?”

“Mousey!~”

You’re...not very good with kids, are you, Brain?

“Pretty Brain mousey…!”

“I am mortified.”

I don’t see why, you look positively precious.

“Little mousey big head!”

Mindy, dear, I too wish to squish this cute little megalomaniacal mouse sometimes but you’re doing it way too hard.

“Put me down, Mindy, or I shall have to hurt you.”

“Okay, I love you, buh-bye!”

The Brain: [is a mouse with genius intellect and gadgetry know-how with the drive to take over the world]

Also The Brain: [gets dunked on by a toddler merely dropping him on the ground]

“I sense I’ve completed the first step of my plan: Finding manure.”

That’s one way to look on the bright side, I suppose.

Sweetie, you’ve got something stuck on your head still.

“Pungent aroma, if I do say so.”

“Now to construct the rocket…”

...Why would you take the mask off now? You’re still right over top of the stink bomb! Brain, have the fumes messed with your thinking abilities already?

I do like the animation of him tearing the mask off, though.

“Buggy! Buggy!”

“All right, Mindy: Bring me the mower!”

If you ever need a pose that sums up Brain perfectly, it’s this one right here. This is him distilled down to his purest form. God bless TMS for this.

“Soon the world will be mine!”

Uh, yeah, about that...

“Woooow! Buggy go fast! Wheeeeeee!~”

“Whoooooaaaa! GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

“Beh, peh, EUGH!”

Brain’s plans go to shit really fast without Pinky around. Sometimes quite literally, it seems.

“Buggy go ‘round!”

[Running in the 90s starts playing]

“Ahahaha!”

Don’t worry folks. As always, Mindy is okay. Brain, however...

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

Something I missed on my first viewing of this episode: the grass around Brain’s feet as he walks around covered in his stinkbomb juice dies near instantly.

“Wahahahaha! Silly Brain!”

“This is most unexpected.”

Is it, though? Is it really, Brain?

So, uh, something that caught me off-guard while watching this for the first time is what happens next.

Pinky and the Brain is, obviously, a Warner Brothers cartoon with some Looney Toon sensibilities. Despite that, though, while there is the occasional being-flattened-like-a-pancake or being-covered-in-soot-after-an-explosion types of cartoon slapstick and such, it doesn’t really go much beyond that when it comes to cartoonish injuries and such. The worst I’d ever seen it get in this show is at the end of Opportunity Knox when Pinky and Brain are all wrapped up in bandages and some of their fur has been scraped off raw. Even then, that was surprisingly “graphic” for the show.

But this upcoming bit?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! D8

--was my reaction the first time. It’s not bloody and gory, but seeing Brain being sliced into sections by a lawn mower is just...startling, to put it mildly. To my knowledge (and well, it has been decades since I regularly watched the show, so take this with a grain of salt), the Pinky and the Brain Animaniacs sketches and the spinoff never does something this Looney Toons to them.

And what really gets me is that he’s not just cut into sections with his eyeballs popped out, it’s that there’s an obvious hole in the middle of each section??? For some reason??? What that to imply space for his skeleton?!? A creamy center filling?!?

TMS, you could have just animated him in sections like some kind of mousey marshmallow, why did you include the holes?!?

[Press F to Pay Respects]

“Bleh! Brain smell like poo-poo!”

“I must re-think my present career…”

Honestly, Brain? Without Pinky to help you, I’d say it’s a good idea to just try and escape this family first and then maybe try on your own to take over the world. You might have a slightly better chance then.

“What’s that horrible smell?! Is that you, Brain?! Have you been allowing Mindy to feed you old cheese again? Bad mouse! Bad, bad mouse!”

Wait, “again”?

“…I hate being chided.”

You know, it’s interesting how he says that about this human woman chiding him, but in the regular Pinky and the Brain universe Pinky will sometimes chide Brain for doing something dubiously immoral, and while he may hate it there too...he more often than not backs down and admits to his faults when it’s Pinky doing it.

“But she’ll be gone soon, then I can begin my plans for tomorrow: Another plot to take over the world!”

“But first: A bath.”

I mean, yeah. Priorities.

“He’s stinky,

They’re Mindy and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!~”

Well, I never thought we’d get a Brain bath scene until the comics but here we are.

I wonder if Pinky would find it equally as appealing to watch as that one...

Okay, that sure was...an episode. Let’s see how the other half of the equation is doing.

“They’re Pinky and the Cat!

Yes, Pinky and the Cat!

Her name is Rita,~”

Oh NO...

I love the contrast of these two shots. It’s as if Pinky’s self preservation instinct kicks in only long enough for him to be vaguely worried about having a cat in his cage...and his lack of attention span overtakes it and he does whatever the hell this is.

“He’s a lab rat!~”

“A mouse!”

At least he still has it in him to be offended enough to correct the Warners about his actual species.

“They live inside a cage,

Making less than minimum wage.~

Aww...

Oh, Pinky, sweetie... I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what’s about to happen.

“It’s dinky,~”

“They’re Pinky and the Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat!~”

Pinky making faces in the reflection of the water bowl is another bit of animation that’s used in the spin-off’s opening theme. It’s kind of weird to pull something from this particular segment, but whatever.

“What do you want to do tonight, Rita?”

It was so difficult to get a shot of Pinky’s cute little coy stance here, but it was worth it. Look at this cute, naive little mouse. He just wants to be friends, Rita!

“I dunno, eat you for supper?”

[GULP]

[Press F to Pay Respects...Again]

“So far, this is my favourite episode.”

“Narf! Oh, roomy accommodations, Rita!”

Don’t worry, folks, he’s fine! Yup. He’s okay somehow.

Lord, I hope this didn’t awaken a vore fetish in anyone.

“She ate the rat

‘cause Rita is a cat, cat, cat, cat, cat!~”

So yeah, that’s the end of this little experiment by the Warner Siblings. Well, the end of what’s relevant to this blog series, anyway. There’s also a skit with Pesto and Runt trying to find a home, which is honestly the best one out of this whole bunch of AU one-shots.

Then there’s a Katie Ka-Boom and Chicken Boo crossover, which is as underwhelming as you can imagine.

There’s a short where Dot takes the place of Slappy Squirrel, which goes about as well as it can after the theme song repeatedly calls her “Dottie the Squirrel”.

Lastly, Slappy takes the place of Dot in a Warner Siblings skit (with a cameo with Flavio as Skippy) where the Warners barge in on a very thinly veiled parody of Saddam Hussein and, uh... Well, it’s about as awkward to watch as it sounds. Props to Slappy for not really being interested in any part of that skit, though.

Man, after this utterly bizarre set of skits, I think we really need that full episode length Pinky and the Brain episode, don’t we?

Soon, folks. Soon.

See you then!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #In the Garden of Mindy #Pinky and the Cat

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j0elmill3r · 4 years

Text

Trust Fund Babies

Jacob Thrombey x Twin!Sister!Reader

Knives Out Masterlist

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: The Thrombeys being horrible, swearing, forced vomiting, sibling fights

A/N: Alright! I've been wanting to do stuff for Jacob T for a while and just never had the inspiration to do so, but I really wanted to do this! I've written this in 3rd person for a change, let me all know if you like this pov! I hope you all like this!

The Thrombey twins were incarnations of devils. Y/N and Jacob Thrombey were a lot of things, opinionated, brutal, horrible, spoiled, and in some way narcissistic. Most of their extended family couldn't stand them, even their parents, Donna and Walt didn't understand what they were talking about most of the time. While Jacob preferred causing the internet trouble, Y/N would be more likely to cause a fight in school simply by making up a tactical rumour and watching people hurt themselves. If one twin was pissed, the other would be 10x worse. The fighting and playful insults that came from them didn't mean a single thing, it was just regular sibling jokes. Y/N and Jacob were compared to the twins from 'The Shining', they often spoke at the same time and had the same actions, and most times it freaked out whoever was around them, and by God, they used it to their advantage. Family parties and functions were the highlights of their years, it was when they would be able to make fun of people and not get into trouble for it because their parents would be too drunk to care.

Y/N stared up at the colossal manor in front of her, a scowel etched onto her face. She could think of a million other places she would rather be than there, she would have to socialize and talk to people, since their aunt only turns 60 once and Walt and Donna won't let Y/N and Jacob stay home alone anymore. Walt and Donna had gone inside, leaving their son and daughter to their own devices outside, at least they wouldn't be able to upset anyone inside if they were outside.

"I don't think I'm emotionally prepared to go in here," Y/N said, watching as her brother came and stood beside her. Jacob laughed and nodded, turning to his sister.

"I heard Ransom's bringing his latest toy," He told her. Y/N grinned and chuckled, knowing she would be able to poke fun at Ransom and the predictable bimbo he would bring with him as a date. "Her name's like Veronica or something."

"Of course it is," Y/N said, only to be interrupted by the roar of her elder cousin's beloved Beamer. She hated that thing, if she had the chance, she would scratch the car up to holy hell, just to see the look of pure rage on Ransom's face. Y/N and Jacob stepped up onto the porch, knowing that if Ransom had the chance he would most definitely hit the two twins. The way that Ransom parked matched his personality, meaning he parked like an asshole. Ransom got out of his car and stared down the twins standing at the porch, their uniforms almost matching and their stares judging him. The blonde stepped out of the car, and Y/N couldn't help but snigger. Her predictions hadn't failed her, they were right.

"Oh my God, shut up," Jacob said, nudging his younger twin's side. She stopped and composed herself, watching as Ransom thudded up the stairs and took his shades off and put them in the pocket of his tan coat.

"Wow, I didn't know that the runts of the litter were coming," He snarked, standing in front of the two. His girlfriend came and stood beside him, stumbling on her stiletto heels. Y/N grimaced and looked her up and down, taking in the dress that barely covered her.

"Ransom, who's this? Bimbo number 38?" She asked him, tilting her head innocently. The blonde crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the 15-year-old that stood in front of her.

"My name is Veronica," She introduced herself to the two. Y/N and Jacob thought that their ears were bleeding. Her voice was comparable to nails on a chalk board, it was quite simply unbearable.

"Funny you should say that, I don't remember asking, sandbags," Y/N commented, narrowing her eyes at the woman she would now be able to identify as 'Sandbags'. Ransom rolled his eyes and took Veronica away before she was getting driven to the police station for assualting a minor. "Of course her name was Veronica." Y/N turned to Jacob, who burst out laughing, putting his hands on his sister's shoulders.

"Where did you pull sandbags from?" He asked Y/N through his laughs. Y/N took his hands off of her school sweater and dropped them, letting him pull himself back together before heading into the house in front of them. "Jesus, that was great." He said.

"We should probably go in, Ransom's probably bitching to mom and dad," Y/N said, walking ahead of her brother and waiting for him to follow her. The twins walked into the house and immediately hated the atmosphere, well, not necessarily the atomosphere, more the people. "This is devasting, it's like The Walking Dead became a reality." Y/N mumbled. Y/N and Jacob sat by the stairs until thy were called for dinner. They sat beside each other, looking through their phones and ignoring the harsh stares of their parents.

"Y/N, Jacob, put your phones down, please," Walt said. Y/N and Jacob put their phones down simulataneously, glaring at their father. "There, was that hard?" He asked the twins rhetorically.

"How is school going?" Joni asked them both. They despised Joni and her daughter Meg, why were they still in the family when Neill died years ago? Y/N and Jacob looked across the table at Joni.

"Fine," They answered at the same time, just further convincing people that they were the twins from The Shining.

"All we hear from you is 'Fine', does nothing else happen other than you guys being literal trolls?" Meg said. Y/N smiled sweetly at her and Donna and Walt hid their faces in their hands, not wanting to see what their daughter was about to cause.

"Meg, in the politest way possible, I hope you die a slow horrible death," Y/N said, an innocent smile on her features. Ransom chuckled as she stood up and walked away from the table, Jacob's eyes following her as she left. Meg rolled her eyes and then looked back to Jacob, then making Jacob realize that everyone else was staring at him expectantly.

"What?" He said, furrowing his eyebrows and looking around.

"Jacob, go and get your sister, please," Donna said to her son. Jacob groaned quietly and left the table, grabbing his phone and then walking around to look for his sister. He wandered around for a few minutes before finding her sitting in one of the guest rooms, an agitated look on her face.

"What's your problem?" Jacob asked her, going to sit beside his sister. Y/N put her head on Jacob's shoulder, making him look down at her as she rested against her brother comfortably.

"I fucking hate this family. Except you, obviously," She said. "I just wanna go home, I don't wanna be around here for much longer." Jacob nodded and nudged Y/N's head up, making her groan and look at Jacob with a scowl on her face.

"Alright, let's go and tell mom and dad you wanna go," Jacob said. Y/N grimaced and raised her eyebrows.

"Like they'll actually take us home," She commented, laughing sarcastically. Jacob laughed and pulled her up to her feet. "I can just imagine what they'll say."

"We'll tell them that you're sick or something," Jacob said as he and his sister left the room and went into the bathroom across the hall.

"What are we doing here?" She asked him, looking at him with a look of confusion on her face.

"If you want them to believe you, it has to look believable. You ate, you can make yourself vomit," He said, acting as though he was stating the obvious. Y/N groaned as she got down on her knees and put on of her hands on the side of the toilet, Jacob stepping over his sister and pulling her hair back. She looked back up at him and glared at him hatefully.

"Are you seriously about to make me vomit?" She asked him. Jacob nodded and she rolled her eyes, turning back to face the toilet as she put two fingers down her throat to trigger her gag reflex. Y/N coughed and then felt an acidic feeling rising in her throat. Her head went forward as her stomach lurched, then coughing again and falling back onto the floor. "I fucking hate you sometimes."

"I know, but you wanna go home and you look like actual death, so if they don't believe you, you might be going down the stairs head first," Jacob said, moving away from Y/N to flush her vomit away. "Wash your hands and have some water, I'll wait outside for you." Jacob told her. She stood up and washed her hands in the sink, then gargling some water in her mouth to rinse the acidic taste from her mouth. She came out of the bathroom and Jacob had shed his blazer and handed it to her.

"What's this for?" She asked him, draping it over her shoulders.

"Authenticity, Y/N. Remember, you're freezing and feel like you're dying," He whispered to his sister as they walked down the stairs and into where everyone had moved to. Jacob had his arm around his sister as he led her to their parents. "We need to go home." Jacob deadpanned to Donna and Walt.

"Why? What's wrong?" Walt asked, looking at both of his kids.

"Y/N doesn't feel well," Jacob said, he had to give it to her, Y/N was a great actress. She was excellent at making herself look miserable, but maybe she wasn't acting that. "She brought up dinner upstairs when I went to go find her." He explained further. Donna stepped forward and looked at her daughter, an unsure look on her face.

"We probably shouldn't chance it, we should get her home," Donna said, turning back to Walt who was looking at Y/N and Jacob skeptically. He nodded anyway.

"Jesus, get off me you fat bitch!" Y/N yelled as she pushed Jacob off of her as she felt him sit down on her bed, sitting on her legs. Donna came into her room and stood in front of Y/N's bed, her arms crossed over her chest angrily. The twins looked up at their mom and tried their hardest to hide the grins that were slowly coming over their faces. Donna was never the one to discipline Y/N or Jacob, neither parents were very intimidating, but Walt had some form of authority and power over them. Donna, on the other hand, had no authority or control over either children, she could barely yell at them without having them burst out laughing in her face.

"Don't talk to your brother like that, Y/N," Donna warned the youngest. Y/N rolled her eyes and pulled Jacob's hair, making him groan. "Hey!" Donna yelled, pointing at Y/N.

"Yeah, Y/N. What the fuck?" Jacob rubbed his head as he glared at his sister. Donna glared at Jacob, warning him about his language as she left Y/N's room, leaving the twins on their own. Jacob waited until he was sure his mom was down the stairs before pulling his sister's hair, getting her into a headlock.

"Let me go you dick! Jacob!" Y/N yelled, thrashing around and trying her hardest to get out of Jacob's grip. She pulled on his, making him groan in pain as they ended up on the floor of Y/N's room. Y/N ended up on top of her brother, holding him down by his shoulders. It was just as well the Thrombey's had no neighbours, especially when Y/N and Jacob decided to act like this at midnight.

"Okay! I'll stop," Jacob said, pushing Y/N off of him. She landed on the floor beside him with a grunt, both of them laying on their backs. "I forgot how strong you were." He mumbled, making his sister laugh. Y/N laughed and punched her brother's shoulder.

"Don't forget it, consider it payback for making me vomit at Grandpa's house," Y/N said, standing back onto her feet and sitting back on her bed, Jacob following her actions and sitting beside her.

"Well at least I got you out of there!" Jacob defended himself. Y/N turned her head to face her brother, her face reading an unimpressed expression. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked her.

"Because I felt like shit for like 3 days after I put my fingers down my throat! That hurts," Y/N said, rubbing the sides of her neck. Jacob grimaced, did he actually hurt his sister?

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked her, sitting up on his knees to sit facing her side. Y/N looked at him in concern and she nodded. "You should have said something, Y/N." Jacob said, moving your hands away from your neck in case you hurt them anymore. Jacob Thrombey might have been an asshole, but not when his little sister was hurt. Little sister might have been an overstatement, Y/N was only 22 minutes younger than him.

"Why are you playing mother hen?" Y/N asked him. "You're like 22 minutes older, calm the fuck down." She said, nudging him. Jacob laughed and then noticed Y/N yawning and rubbing her eyes tiredly, turning off her TV that was playing silently.

"I'll leave you to go to bed," He said, getting off of his sisters bed and pushing her down.

"You are such a dick," Y/N said, getting under her duvet and glaring at her brother as he left her room, turning the light off on the way out.

Permanent Taglist; Open!

@an-adventureland @demons-hunt @eviemarvel @avenging-natasha @bonkybarnes107 @this-kitten-is-smitten@justrandom02@lozzypoz321@herecomesthewriterwitch@tomms-h @40srogcrs@kashoot-me-now-please @ellehooo @rororo06 @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @bval-1 @marvel-ous-hobbit

#jacob thrombey #jacob thrombey x sister!reader #thrombey!reader #knives out #jaeden martell #jaeden wesley #jaeden lieberher #jaeden martell x reader #x teen!reader #x daughter!reader

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daughterofhel · 3 years

Text

My icon died last night.

The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.

He was pretty much deaf; car got him.

I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.

It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.

Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.

And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?

I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.

I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.

Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.

So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.

Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.

I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.

I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.

I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.

Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.

We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.

The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.

We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.

We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.

I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.

But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.

I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.

I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.

May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.

And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.

But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.

One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.

She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.

Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.

But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.

I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.

Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.

I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.

I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.

Im. Scared. Of what’s next.

I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.

He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.

My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.

When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.

At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.

Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.

Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.

I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.

I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.

I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.

I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.

I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.

I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.

I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.

I just couldn’t do it.

And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.

His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.

If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…

God. I don’t see that man sticking around.

And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.

I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.

My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.

So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.

And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.

But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.

I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.

I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.

I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.

And. I’m burnt out.

I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.

I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.

Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.

It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.

It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.

But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.

I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.

Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.

Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?

I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.

Here I am. Just.

Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.

She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.

I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.

All I want to do is sleep.

Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.

But for her. I will.

#void screaming #ignore

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supercasey · 4 years

Text

TF2 RED Headcanons by an idiot that can’t pay attention well enough to read the comics

Back on my bullshit, because I apparently can’t shut up tonight. This is gonna be a big, possibly in-cohesive mess, and will probably have more focus on Scout, Pyro, Sniper, and Spy since they’re my favs, but I still felt like writing down all my dumb headcanons/ideas regarding everyone’s favorite mercenaries (at the moment at least; I might make another post like this later on, hopefully after I’ve read the comics)! Sorry if any of these seem OOC, I’m just goofin’! (Putting this under a readmore because WOW this got LONG)

Every Sunday afternoon, Scout, Pyro, and eventually Sniper when he tells everyone that he's a trans guy, hold a makeshift “Trans Buddy Club” meeting, which mostly consists of Scout mindlessly rambling about drama on base, Pyro nodding along, and Sniper occasionally adding his two cents/spilling tea as well.

Scout can speak fluent French, on account of his mom making sure to teach it to him so he could have more of a connection to his dad, but no one found out until a little after Spy told Scout he was his dad. It wasn’t long after this that Scout revealed that this entire time, he’s known every single thing that Spy's ever said to him in French, but he didn't say anything because he thought it would be funny to keep the ruse going (also because he really liked being praised in secret). Cue Spy freaking tf out because oh no, now his kid knows that he's secretly a huge softie for not only his son, but his whole team.

Sometimes Spy and Scout talk shit in French right there in front of the team, but no one has any fucking idea what they’re saying and to be honest it’s pissing Soldier off the most, much to the father and son duo’s amusement.

Pyro secretly has a little black rabbit named Lucifer (Lucy for short) in their bedroom, which they only take out to get some fresh air and hop around very early in the morning, before anyone else is awake. The only people who know are Medic, Spy, and surprisingly enough Soldier, whose raccoons became friends with Lucy.

Sniper has a goldfish in his RV, but it died three months after he joined the team; he has no idea though because Miss Pauling replaces it every time one passes away, so now Sniper is convinced he has the world’s oldest goldfish.

Scout and Soldier both really want a dog, but they're not allowed to have one on-base. :(

((Heavy plans on sneaking a dog in next Christmas and no one can stop him. It’s gonna be a Border Collie named Bandit, and it gets the most attached to Scout and Heavy.))

Demo is no longer allowed to make mixed drinks for parties; the last time he did, he got everyone so shitfaced that they had to cancel work for three days in a row in order to recover from it.

Continuing off of that: drunk headcanons.

Demoman: Unassuming drunk. Acts like he usually does, unless he’s gotten particularly shitfaced for a party/event, in which case he’ll be slurring so bad that no one can understand him anymore.

Pyro: Giggly drunk. Is just laughing the whole fucking night at nothing in particular, which scares anyone who’s still sober. If they’re too far gone, they’ll start mumbling something that sounds like it’s in Spanish.

Spy: Party drunk. An absolute fucking mess, he’s trying to impress everyone and keep their attention on him, which usually leads to him standing on tables and dancing until he falls and passes out.

Sniper: Sleepy drunk. Out like a fucking light at the slighest bit of alcohol. If he wakes up and keeps drinking though, he’ll just be slurring like Demo, only with a lot more anger in his voice. Let him sleep, or he’ll fucking stab you to death.

Scout: Clumsy drunk. Bumps into anything and everything; eventually has to be given a sippy cup for his alcohol because he dropped three glasses in a row. Talks even faster than usual, until he accidentally fucking pukes on someone.

Soldier: Calm drunk. Instead of getting loud and aggressive like most would think/fear, he’s just… chillin'. Just watches the shitshow as it happens, not even laughing when people get hurt/fall down. Kinda terrifying if we’re being honest here.

Engineer: Depressed drunk. His depression goes through the roof if he has too much, so he doesn't drink more than a few beers if he can help it. If he does accidentally drink too much, he'll be sobbing his eyes out in no time flat.

Heavy: Cuddly drunk. It’s very, very hard to get him drunk, since he’s really good at holding his liquor, but if you do, he’s gonna be hugging and carrying everyone he can get his hands on; you can expect him to have Medic and/or Pyro on his lap once he’s drunk enough.

Medic: Angry drunk. He wants to start fights with fucking everyone, all his rage coming out once he’s had a few too many; god help anyone who tries to stop him. Luckily for all involved, Heavy is more than capable of holding him still until he tires himself out.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Dumbass drunk. With too many bottles in her, she’s gonna be the one shouting and encouraging Spy to act reckless, while also encouraging Engie to drink more because quitting is for losers. Will pass out within an hour or so of downing her first drink.

BONUS The Administrator: Stereotypical drunk. Slurring, stumbling, she’s got the whole nine yards, but she’ll be damned before she let’s anyone see her that messed up. Secretly sips wine at work.

Okay, back to my rambling.

My personal headcanon names and ages for Scout’s older brothers, going from oldest to youngest: Grant 34, Timothy 32, Jacob 31, Arthur 31, Patrick 30, Malcolm 27, Curtis 26, and Jeremy (Scout) 23.

((Also, I’mma go off on my headcanon personalities for them, which are based off of how I’ve tried portraying them in my "Jeremy" fic.))

Grant - 34 years old - Bisexual - Occupation: Veteran/Construction worker - Personality: the oldest of the bunch, he takes it upon himself to keep his little brothers in line/help Ma out as much as he can. Enlisted in the Air Force after he graduated high school, and still takes a lot of pride in his veteran status after serving overseas three separate times. The family peacemaker.

Timothy - 32 years old - Homosexual - Occuptaion: Cartoonist - Personality: the gentlest of his brothers, he often gets roped into helping Grant keep the pack from running too wild. Bit of a softie; loves his husband and loves his job. Closest relationship is with Scout. Doesn’t approve of Scout being a merc but is too scared to say so. The family heart.

Jacob - 31 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Freelance guitarist - Personality: the firstborn of the only set of twins, Jacob is a lot more abrasive and instigating than his twin brother. Can’t grow a beard for shit, which pisses him off. Doesn’t get along well with Timmy, despite them both being talented and devoted artists. The family sword.

Arthur - 31 years old - Pansexual - Occupation: Carpenter - Personality: the second born of the only set of twins, Arthur is far more outgoing and nonchalant than his twin brother. Has a beard and loves it more than life. Secretly has a boyfriend, but is too nervous to come out. Gets along better with Jacob after they’ve become adults. The family shield.

Patrick - 30 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Hairdresser - Personality: probably the least social of all of the brothers, he prefers staying out of sight and out of mind tbh. Used to practice cutting everyone’s hair when they were kids. Doesn’t talk to his brothers that much, mostly due to being busy/forgetting to call more. The family shadow.

Malcolm - 27 years old - Heteromantic Asexual - Occupation: Wrestler - Personality: the most aggressive and physically competitive of his brothers, there’s nothing he won’t do to win a fight, save for using weapons/lethal force. Hard to get along with, but he still loves his brothers to bits, and was overprotective of Scout when they were younger. The family instigator.

Curtis - 26 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Bartender - Personality: was a total fucking mama’s boy growing up, and constantly got in trouble with his brothers for tattling on them. Still argues with Scout every time they see each other. Wants to make Ma proud, but it’s hard for him to keep a job for very long. The family drifter.

Jeremy - 23 years old - Transmale Pansexual - Occupation: Mercenary - Personality: (This is mostly for how he was as a kid) was constantly following his brothers around (especially Malcolm) in hopes of getting in on the fun. Was always treated as the family baby, so everyone was a bit scared to wrestle/fight with him for fear of getting him hurt. Very close to Timmy and Ma. The family runt.

No one on RED team can fucking drive well, save for MAYBE Sniper, but even he hates doing it. Spy gets so goddamn mad within two seconds of driving, Pyro can't stop swerving, Scout drives like a 16 year old who hasn't realized their own mortality yet, Medic jumps at every little inconsistency on the road, Heavy shouts at other drivers for being too slow/fast, Demo's depth perception is shit, Engie drives like a 90 year old grandmother, and Soldier is fine except he will literally shoot at other drivers for tailgating him/cutting him off.

The whole team has designated “Team Bonding Days” thanks to Miss Pauling, which involves playing board games, card games, and video games (in a slightly more modernized AU) together… this, of course, goes badly sometimes. The worst incident they ever had was a bad game of Monopoly that almost ended Heavy and Medic's friendship.

Uno is forever banned from Team Bonding Days. No explanation is needed.

Off the battlefield and in the base, Miss Pauling had the team set up a chore wheel, which is only occasionally followed. Engie is the most dedicated to following it, while Demo and Sniper try everything in their power to avoid cleaning the base.

Spy sometimes disguises himself as other teammates in order to get out of doing his chores, which has led to a lot of shouting matches that ended in Spy being forced to admit it was his fault.

Spy's favorite teammates to disguise himself as are Engie and Scout. He likes being Engie because he gets to be more affectionate with people without being found out, and he can act as Scout incredibly easily due to knowing him so well (tbh he's so good at masquerading as Scout that it's scary).

For Halloween, everyone put their names in Soldier's hat, then proceeded to pull out other teammates’ names to dress up as for their Halloween party. I dunno exactly who would be who, except that Scout traded around to get Spy, steals one of Spy's suits, and just goes around the party bonking people with a plastic baguette he bought online and speaking in a purposefully bad accent.

Spy: Mon fils, you can speak perfect French and you fucking know it. Please stop making a fool of ton père.

Scout: Hohoho, wee wee, I am a fucking frog that gets pegged by baguettes, hoho!

((Spy is this fucking close to committing filicide.))

Everyone can actually cook pretty well, but only very specific things for each merc: Demo can mix and blend drinks (not just alcoholic ones) like it's nothing, Pyro and Heavy like baking, Medic can barbecue anything, Scout knows how to make a lot of shit from scratch (thanks, Ma), Spy and Engie can grill like the true dads they are, Soldier will deep fry every piece of food he eats, and Sniper makes the best soups and stews imaginable.

In order of least to most messy bedrooms: Spy, Heavy, Engie, Sniper, Pyro, Demoman, Medic, Scout, and Soldier. You'd think Scout's would be the worst, but Soldier's room looks like a literal fucking war-zone.

Even when they're not working but get injured in some way (namely from shenanigans/horseplay), people will straight up kill themselves in order to respawn without the injury. The pettiest thing anyone ever respawned off-duty for was Medic suiciding over a tiny ass paper cut.

Demoman is scarily competent at the weirdest of times. For instance, Engie was once trying to figure out how to fix an issue on one of his turrets, only for Demo to stumble over, completely shitfaced, and point out the problem as well as the solution, before passing out under Engie's worktable. Demo doesn't remember this at all.

The first time Engie swore in front of the team in excess (due to dropping a hammer on his foot while he was tinkering), everyone was absolutely horrified because they had only ever heard him say “fiddlesticks” and the like.

Medic's room may not be the messiest, but goddamn is his office a fucking bomb waiting to go off 90% of the time. No one but Medic can find anything in the mess, which is just fine by him.

Heavy likes to sing (mostly just to Sasha) when he's cleaning her in the locker room. The others try to be within hearing range when he does this, because holy fuck, Heavy is a very good singer! He mostly just sings soft songs/lullabies, so his singing is sometimes used by the team insomniacs to help them get some much needed rest.

Okay, another group one. The mercs during shopping trips together:

Demoman: Sneaks a shit ton of alcohol into the cart when no one's looking. Starts complaining if he has to be at the store for too long; will try and sneak away to go home at least once during the trip. Accidentally bumps into a display case and makes a huge fucking mess.

Pyro: Sits obediently in the cart the whole time, occasionally nabbing candy and stuffed animals off of nearby shelves. Will puppy-dog eyes their way into getting everything they grabbed, no matter how much it is.

Spy: Somehow managed to steal an employee uniform and he pretends to work at the store the whole trip; the other mercs keep accidentally falling for it and asking for his help. This all goes to shit when a Karen starts shouting at him over something he didn't do, and he straight up slaps her.

Sniper: King of forgetting wtf was on the list and just grabs shit on the grounds of “Doc said we needed milk, right?” and other such excuses. Knows where everything is despite never having come here before.

Scout: “Gimme the list, I can get everythin' in, like, ten minutes!” Wants to speedrun grocery shopping due to years of shopping with his mom and brothers. Will run loose if left unsupervised and accidentally bust ass on some spilled milk.

Soldier: The one who spilled the milk that Scout busts his ass on. Insists he knows where he's going, but doesn't. Gets into a fistfight with a soccer mom while everyone's waiting to check out; the soccer mom won.

Engineer: Has a full, printed list of everything the team needs, which is organized by aisle number. Is the one who gives into Pyro's begging. Team Dad; keeps an eye on everyone and stops the soccer mom from murdering Soldier.

Heavy: Pushes the cart the entire time. Spends way too money on stuff in the protein shake aisle. At one point runs the cart down the aisle and let's go because Pyro wanted him to, and it ends up crashing into Demo.

Medic: Argues with the pharmacists at the pharmacy counter. Got lost with Soldier until they found Scout unconscious, so he had to perform CPR in the dairy aisle and a fucking paramedic criticized him the whole time; the paramedic hasn't been seen since.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Tries to more or less chaperone this shitshow of a shopping trip. Starts out cheerful and happy, ends up threatening to put child leashes on every last one of these dumbasses.

After Spy taught him how to dance in Expiration Date, Scout goes to him occasionally for advice, such as how to change a tire, how to cook certain things, how tf to do laundry, etc. Spy secretly loves that Scout does this, and tries to help him as much as he can.

Everyone on the team has called Engie “Dad” at least once, even Spy and Medic. No one comments on it.

Medic has been known to go on hour long tirades about anti-vaxxers, with Engie sometimes joining in.

Heavy buys Pyro stuffed animals during his trips to visit his family, which has started a tradition of everyone buying Pyro stuffed animals/toys when they go somewhere without them. Pyro's room is starting to look like a preschooler’s dream bedroom.

Scout calls his mom every other Friday, and he’ll occasionally let his teammates talk to her. Soldier always goes on and on about how good a soldier Scout has been (Scout cries like a baby), Medic tells her about Scout’s latest injuries (Scout damn near chokes him over it), Sniper is just glad to talk to a mom who won’t scold him for the whole phone call, Pyro hums music while Scout’s Ma sings the lyrics for them, Heavy talks about living in huge families with her, Demo asks her how she’s doing and if he can help her out at all, Engie is polite and also praises Scout, and Spy just tells her he’ll call her later before hanging up (Scout punches him for being rude to his mama).

Spy calls Scout's mom on the Fridays that Scout doesn't, mostly to check on her and sometimes to get into some, uh, “steamy” conversations over the phone. Sniper overheard a conversation between them once and now he can't look Scout or Spy in the eyes anymore.

And that's all I've got for right now! I hope you all liked my stupid headcanons!

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