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#i think about hamlet way too much
ragnarokhound · 9 months
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man, wish i knew enough about shakespeare to decide if Jason Todd is a tragedies, comedies, or histories kinda guy (or an eclectic mix that i definitely can't speak to OTL) I know the handful of heavy hitters pushed on me by my high school lit classes along with a few comedies my parents liked and that's p much it
like does he like the tragedies because ah, murderers doomed by the narrative, how satisfying and #relatable (or does he dislike them for the same reason lmao)
or does he like the comedies because ah, witty social commentary and also imo he's a romantic at heart
or does he like the histories because fuck. i don't know enough about shakespeare to talk about the histories lmao
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tinygothgremlin · 2 years
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No one:
Me trying to figure out if where I live is a town or a village:
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actual-changeling · 5 months
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Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today I have something surprisingly not kiss-related—though it is still about the final fifteen because hey, gotta keep the brand image.
I read this post by @goodoldfashionednightingale and began typing a small response. Then I made the mistake of drinking half a litre of coffee on an empty stomach right after taking my adhd meds and my brain began vibrating at the speed of light.
But oh, have I discovered parallels. This, my friends, is about the nightingale, where it comes from, what it means, and what the fuck happened in part 3 of 1941.
Ready? Let's go.
Now, as OP said in her post, s1e3 is important. In the script book, Neil himself says that these flashbacks are where the producers would tell him to cut scenes to save money. They suggested every single one—except for the one he ended up taking out, which was the bookshop opening scene set in 1800. The others are building blocks, you need them to see how their relationship progressed and what kind of important milestones they had.
(side note: author is very miffed that english does not have a separate subjunctive form like german which makes quoting lines way more confusing than it has to be)
The one I want to mention is neither 1941 nor 1967. No, what I want to talk about is 1601. This might be about to get a bit rambly but I will do my best to keep it tidy.
The focus of that flashback is on the Arrangement, yes, but it gives us a lot more information than that.
they both see Shakespeare's plays regularly, maybe even meet in the crowd
Crowley prefers the comedies
Aziraphale does not seem to have a preference, he enjoys the tragedies and presumably the comedies too
there is an oyster woman selling food -> reference to their meeting in Rome when Aziraphale tempted him to try some oysters
Aziraphale reflexively denies their relationship
Crowley might say he is not worried but circles Aziraphale the entire time, keeping watch
they both ask favours of each other and both agree to do them
What stands out to me in relation to what I am about to expand on is the line that Crowley delivers after Aziraphale's little 'buck up'—which Crowley finds adorable btw but that's a post for another time.
"Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety."
Why would he say that? What exactly is prompting this? WHY say that specific line?
At first I thought it might be to tempt Shakespeare because he does commit art theft by just copying that line down, BUT I think there is more to that. So much more, in fact. I am wiggling now because I am very excited about this and my adhd meds are kicking in anyway.
First things first: the line itself.
It appears in Shakespeare's play Antony and Cleopatra, a romantic tragedy, which was first performed in 1607 aka six years after this meeting. Enobarbus is talking about Cleopatra and describing why Antony won't leave her. Her.
Ccrowley uses his—again, who is he even talking about? Hamlet? Shakespeare? Random poetic quote?
No, I think this line is about Aziraphale and it's a code. Right after, the next line from Aziraphale is "What do you want?", meaning that this is their code phrase for 'I have a favour to ask of you'.
Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety
Age will not affect his appearance nor will he ever become boring to Antony. Crowley, who later chooses the name Anthony for himself, tells Aziraphale, an immortal, that he will never age and that he will never grow bored of him.
It's flattery, pure and simple, and it's code at the same time. This establishes the important fact that they might use more of Shakespeare's work as code/already have a system in place (even though he steals Crowley's line for later).
They play their little morality game of back and forth, Aziraphale agrees, Crowley probably manipulates the coin toss, and THEN we find out that the oyster woman is called Juliet.
Why? What is the meaning of that? Why give her a name and that name in particular? Why bring the sexy oysters back into it?
Romeo and Juliet premiered in 1597, so it is safe to assume they have both seen it by 1601, but this is mostly for the audience, not for us-or is it?
Aziraphale gives Crowley puppy eyes until he agrees to make Hamlet popular, and while I don't think Juliet itself is a code word, although it's very interesting that the OYSTER woman is the one with that name (especially adding what we now know about Job), Romeo and Juliet might be.
Yes, the Nightingale song came out in 1940 but the bird has been around for much, much longer, and, as many probably know by now, also shows up in Romeo and Juliet.
This is where I am starting to vibrate at the speed of light because listen to me. Listen.
Crowley is Juliet. Anthony J. Crowley. Antony Juliet Crowley.
(side note: I'm not saying that Crowley chose it based on that—though I am not not saying that—but that it is a clue for us at the audience.)
Why do I think that? In the play, Romeo spends the night with Juliet and then goes to leave as the night begins to end. Juliet tries to stop him and tells him that the birds they are hearing aren't larks, which sing at dawn, but nightingales, which sing at night.
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Who is the one always pushing for more? Crowley. He is the one trying to convince Aziraphale it's safe, they're safe to spend time together.
Romeo disagrees with Juliet and says 'I must be gone and live, or stay and die'.
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Leave and stay alive, or stay and hell/heaven will punish us. It gets even better though.
We all know how Romeo and Juliet ends: Romeo thinks Juliet is dead, kills himself, Juliet finds him and then kills herself too.
Hey, do you know how Antony and Cleopatra ends?
Antony thinks Cleopatra is dead, kills himself and dies in her arms, then Cleopatra also kills herself—by snake poison; Romeo also died by poison.
The parallels are THERE. They are jumping down our throats! Two tragedies, two sides, several familiar names and phrases, same fear, same ending.
I think by now you can guess how this ties back to 1941.
We do not see how that night ends, but we know it ends. One of them wants to stretch it out, maybe even quotes Romeo and Juliet because look at the setting!
Candlelight, wonderful night they spend together, the threat of Crowley's early demise, and, to quote the play once more, this time Romeo: I have more care to stay than will to go.
Crowley thought it was his last night on earth and went with Aziraphale to his bookshop, to be with him, because he cares more about that than the fact that he will be dragged to hell come morning. Do you remember?
"Expect a legion to come for you first thing tomorrow" THAT is the threat. They have until dawn, just like Romeo and Juliet, which is why she is so desperate for the birds to be nightingales. Fortunately for them, Aziraphale saves the day, BUT there is NO SECURITY. They do not KNOW if a legion will still show up or not. If dawn is a deadline and they will need to fight.
Sure, they improved their chances, but who knows? Maybe they will come for him anyway, it's not like hell is all fair and square.
The best part: it gets even better.
Juliet eventually panics and tells him to go, and Romeo drops a line that huh, sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it?
'More light and light, more dark and dark our woes!'
Remind me, what does Aziraphale say again? Ah, yes. Perhaps there is something to be said for shades of grey.
There is more. Yes, even more. We know the whole rescue relies on a magic trick, a switch. Guess what Juliet yearns for while telling Romeo to go save himself?
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Oh, now I would they had changed voices too. While they did not for Romeo and Juliet—they kiss and part—they did for our two. One fabulous switch and we're good.
(side note: Toads? Associated with hell. Larks? Associated with the dawn, yes, but also heaven since Romeo says 'Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads.')
So, this was a whole lot of information, let's see if I can summarize my thoughts.
I believe the nightingale is a code word that has existed even before 1941 and gained a lot of importance over the years. In 1941, the song is added to the meaning and whatever happened between the two that we have not seen yet, it fundamentally changed their relationship. Maybe they kissed, maybe one of them tried to convince the other to prolong the night but they parted on not-great terms.
The nightingale and the song become a symbol of hope, a goal to achieve, another uninterrupted night, maybe, or an uninterrupted life.
When they part in the final fifteen, it's morning. Crowley points at the sky and says "no nightingales", which at that point has several different layers to it.
No nightingales because their night is over, just like with Romeo and Juliet, and please, please allow me to add another detail, because I am frothing at the mouth over this. The scene I quoted, known as balcony scene, do you know what it is preceded by?
A ball.
Star-crossed lovers defying their sides, falling in love at a ball, getting a hurried, wonderful night together but torn apart by danger of punishment, the nightingale as a dream, as a wish for unhurried time together. Family rejection, torn apart by parents, willing to die for each other so they can reunite in death.
No nightingales. The ball, the romance, is over, their dancing is over, heaven is tearing them apart, and Aziraphale returns to heaven while they are both stuck in a pit of misunderstanding and miscommunication, all bound together by fear for each other.
The thing is, Crowley hates tragedies, he never liked the "gloomy ones", and he does not want them to end in one—luckily, this isn't the end. Yes, they kiss and part, but the play keeps going. We have an entire act 3 to fix what Romeo and Juliet couldn't, to ensure that this is a COMEDY, not a tragedy.
Both Antony & Cleopatra and Romeo & Juliet died out of fear, hurried into making bad decisions because they knew what would happen if their sides were to catch up with them.
Crowley and Aziraphale can reunite heaven and hell with love, not death. This is THEIR story and they are writing the ending. No more day and night, no more deadlines, no more hiding and sneaking about, no more fear of larks and sunshine.
Good Omens will end the way it began: In a garden with two no-longer-star-crossed lovers embracing the song of a lark as well as that of the nightingale.
I hope this made sense to everyone who was no present while my mind started to vibrate itself into a puddle because the thing is I can see Neil doing all of this completely on purpose.
Thoughts? Questions? Additions? Come and join me in my insanity and until next time I have a mental breakdown over this show (probably in like two hours).
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the lords in black are so interesting to me because. they’re so us. we’re watching the citizens of hatchetfield suffer for our own entertainment just as much as they are. we’re their accomplices in all of it
pokotho made hatchetfield into a musical because musicals are entertaining. and we ate that shit up! it’s soooo fun watching a little man scramble as the world around him bursts into song. the musical genre is satirized because pokey knows how the genre conventions work just as well as we do. we like watching musicals so much that black friday and npmd are musicals, too, even though they don’t revolve around pokotho’s plans as much as tgwdlm. we want them to sing. pokotho does too.
bliklotep is the audience and the audience is bliklotep. trail to oregon calls the audience “the watcher with one thousand eyes” and that’s not all, in watcher world blinky seems to be able to see through the eyes of anyone and everyone who loves spectacle. he wants to see the characters go through angst because WE love angst. it’s fun to watch alice and bill express their buried frustrations. blinky wants it to end in bloodshed because he loves tragedy, and let’s face it, so do we. it’s like that one post about how hamlet is aware of the audience and is angry that we don’t do anything to intervene because we want to see how it plays out. personally, I think blinky could have stopped the woodwards if he really wanted (he’s an elder god, after all) but alice shooting him shifted the narrative so that the emotional payoff would be more fulfilling if they escaped. and blinky loves a good story.
t’noy karaxis has blorbos. we joke about it, but that’s really what it is, isn’t it? he’s the fan who watches the movie again and again and again and again to see his favorite character’s dramatic death scene. he’s the guy who writes and reads angst fics by the hundreds because he likes to see his faves cry. he’s the hatchetfield enjoyer who’s on the edge of their seat waiting to see how ted kicks the bucket this time. the bastard’s box is pretty much just an ao3 account filled with whump and hurt no comfort. he’s sadistic AND he genuinely adores ted, because we fans are often cruelest to the characters we love the most. he puts ted through character growth— the realization that his life went the way it did because of his own mistakes, his inability to be vulnerable with jenny before it was too late— and he does that by writing a 56-chapter angst fic that’s still updating to this day
nibblenephim is the fan who voraciously devours every scrap of content that a creator produces and demands more, more, more. let’s face it, the fandom will never let starkid rest until we see this story through to its end. and then someone will demand a sequel series. nibbly is hungry because we will never stop yearning for more stories. he’s simple because that desire itself is simple— as humans, we need creativity like we need air to breathe. nibbly wants more because we want more. and we will never be satiated.
wiggog y’rath is the ruler and the king because he’s the self-inserting writer. I think jon matteson plays paul *and* wiggly for a reason— wiggly is the only lord in black to be played by the same actor in every single show, and that actor also plays the protagonist of tgwdlm. wiggly wants to be the protagonist. he tries to force himself into the human world of hatchetfield because he wants to participate, dammit! he wants to be the bestest ruler that the earth has ever seen! everyone has to love him because he’s going to be their bestest fwiend! when he appears in human form he’s gonna be the prom king! he’s the ebony dark’ness dementia raven way of the hatchetfield multiverse. he wants every human character to bend to his whims and to love him and to put him at the tippy-top of planet earth because he’s the writer and the writer’s main character, you fuckheads, and he can make whatever story he wants, whether the other characters like it or not! if you’ve ever written a self-insert story? congratulations! you’ve been wiggog y’rath.
and the funny thing? I don’t think the lords know that they, too, are as fictional as anyone else in hatchetfield. maybe blinky knows— he sees through the audience’s eyes, after all— but I don’t think the others do. if they did, maybe they’d be a little less tyrannical. a little bit nicer.
but then the starkid writers wouldn’t have much of a story to tell, would they?
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rebeccasteventaylor · 5 months
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So why does Donna matter so much to me? To so many of us?
All the companions - old and new - had been young and they kind of knew they were brilliant. They had self-confidence and they knew their place was by the Doctor.
Donna was a middle aged woman who thought she was worthless. She spent her life thinking that her life meant nothing, she meant nothing.
Doctor Who has been running for 60 years. There are a lot of middle-aged women in this fandom who felt the same way. But no-one saw us in the fandom because middle-aged women are often - invisible.
But here’s Donna, just like us. And she does take the chance to travel with the Doctor and she is brilliant. She grows and learns and she becomes his best friend (he hasn’t called anyone that since Sarah Jane). She has a wonderful life and she finally knows she is wonderful.
And then it all goes. It’s not even that she loses the Doctor. She loses everything. She misses everything. She has no idea that she matters. She feels worthless again.
It broke us. And I remember sitting on a train on my way to see David Tennant in Hamlet and hearing a lot of women talking about Donna’s end and how it broke them. They had finally felt that with Donna, they had a place in the Doctor’s world too, and now they were told - they don’t.
But now - you could see Donna, once she had her memories back, once she knew what she had done, suddenly know once again that she is brilliant. That she is the Doctor’s best friend, that he loves her, that she matters. It all came back and it got given back to us too.
That’s why Donna matters. For all those middle-aged fans out there who think they don’t matter, no-one like the Doctor could care about them, they have no place by the Doctor’s side. Once again - we’re being shown we are brilliant and matter and are loved.
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hedgehog-moss · 1 year
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A post about Pirlouit’s debut as a noble steed! (Part II)
Our destination for this first trip on donkeyback was the nearest farm on the plateau (+ the three houses which together with it form a small isolated hamlet), to say happy new year to these neighbours. It’s not very far when I go with Pandolf because we take a shortcut through the forest and then straight across the plateau (patchworked with small pastures), slipping under every fence. But my donkey is too dignified to crawl under fences, so we had to take the road, which is a longer but also very nice itinerary. There are maybe 3 cars per day on average, but it’s a snowplough-forsaken road so in winter it’s basically zero (except the postwoman).
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I wasn’t riding him at first because he didn’t want me to—I tried and he instantly stopped and turned back towards his pasture. I think he was a bit nervous about being on the road, and preferred to follow another animal. I was saying in the previous post that I started riding him in the past year, but as I don’t have a bridle for him and he’s terrified of riding crops (or any sticks), it’s hard to make him do things he doesn’t want to do (I suspect it would be hard anyway).
So my strategy has been to treat him less like a car and more like a bus—i.e. I hop on when he’s going somewhere I also want to go. My first attempts to do so were when we were at one end of his pasture and he saw the llamas at the other end looking interested in something (food?? visitor?) and wanted to check it out too (visitor = scary, but could be bringing food. Worth having a closer look.) At first Pirou was like uhhhh no and just stopped walking when he realised he had a hitchhiker on his back, but after a while he started tolerating me for these short trips across the pasture.
Step 2 was taking him on a walk (by foot) in the woods behind my house, letting him eat brambles and clean up the place along the way, and when he started showing signs of wanting to return to his pasture I’d climb on his back like “don’t mind me, live your life!” and he would grudgingly resume walking like okay, since you’re not making me do anything you can stay.
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Then I started tying his rope to the side buckles of his halter so I could tug his head left or right (+ encouraging leg squeezes) and make gentle itinerary suggestions. When he was in the mood for it we could do little slaloms around trees; when he wasn’t (if it was too close to dinner time) he’d just ignore me and dash straight ahead so the llamas wouldn’t eat all the hay. (I’ve tried to explain to him that there will be no hay if I’m not here to give it, and his FOMO is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of my role in his life, but to no avail.)
He still very much interprets my tugs on the ‘reins’ and hip- or leg-based indications re: direction and pace as humble opinions from his rider that he has the power to veto since he’s the one walking after all, and I think that’s fair. It wasn’t a problem for our trip to the farm because there’s just one road to go there, all you have to do is follow it without any directional fine-tuning. After a while walking on that perfectly quiet road without coming across a single car, Pirlouit started looking more confident and I tried to hop on his back again, and this time he was like pfff okay, and kept walking :) But from then on he viewed himself as the de facto leader of our trip. His first executive decision was to walk on the side of the road, where there’s grass under the snow, rather than on the snowy asphalt—I think he worried about hidden patches of ice.
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Sometimes he’d stop for a few minutes to contemplate the horizon and think about life. I figured he’d walk faster and maybe even trot once we were on our way back and dinnertime was approaching, so I didn’t mind the leisurely pace.
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At one point he wandered off the road and I dismounted to lead him back in the right direction, but then realised he’d heard water sounds and had decided to stop for a drink in this rivulet. I was like “there’s a communal water trough at the hamlet but you don’t know that, so, okay.” But when we got there, the trough turned out to be frozen so Pirlouit was right to play it safe!
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He also stopped every so often for a snack, I assume following the same approach of “better safe than sorry, I might never find food again.” I had a book in my coat pocket so I would read a few paragraphs while he ate. He always picked the thorniest bushes and prickliest brambles he could find. I ended up getting the feeling he was showing off a bit—maybe donkeys dare each other to eat thorny bushes the way humans do with spicy food.
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I dismounted again to take a picture here because this rare, straight portion of the winding road really made me wish I had a sleigh! Imagine Pirlouit all festooned with bells too, he would hate it <3
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As we found the first pasture that belongs to my farmer neighbour, Pirlouit stopped, looking mesmerised. Maybe it smelled good? He stood there for a bit like “Look! A mountain of hay bales! This road led to donkey heaven and I had no idea”
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When we reached civilisation (i.e. 3 houses) I dismounted for good as Pirlouit got very hesitant. He’d forgotten the existence of houses that aren’t ours.
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He was also a bit terrified by the concept of chickens that aren’t ours. He refused to take a single more step in the direction of Unknown Chickens so I ended up backtracking and tying him to a post next to a suitably thorny bush, before going on my social visits.
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I used to know the farmer on the plateau because Pampe eloped to his farm a lot when she was a kid, but then he retired and sold his farm to a young couple, and I kept thinking, “Well I’ll meet them next time Pampe escapes” but she never escaped that far again! So I finally met the new neighbour (I only met the guy, his wife wasn’t here) six months after he arrived, and I explained my llama-based reason for not visiting sooner, and he basically said “yeah I’ve heard about your llama menace. I’ll be happy to meet her if she ever feels like hiking all the way to my farm again!” He was very nice. I also went to wish a happy new year to the other neighbours but only one of them was home. I left my New Year card featuring baby Poldine at the other two houses—I placed one of them in a garden gnome’s hands which made me feel like an Austen character paying calls and leaving calling cards to the servant.
Pirlouit was quiet and patient at first, but then he finished eating his shrub (I assume) and started braying indignantly. Clearly I had left him here to die of exposure while I feasted inside a warm house and it was getting late and he was going to miss hay o’clock and he was the loneliest saddest hungriest donkey in the whole world and oh, you’re here! (stops mid-bray)
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He was very eager to go home before the llamas ate all the hay (again—without me there’s no—oh, never mind) and didn’t even stop to grumble when I climbed on his back again, he was like fine whatever but HURRY!, and walked at record speed on the way back. But didn’t trot, because icy ground.
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He didn’t stop to contemplate the horizon and his place in the universe this time around, but I still managed to capture some lovely pink and gold skies here and there :) (and the fires of Mordor after the sun disappeared for good) (and then it got really cold and Pirou & I were united in our haste to get home.)
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Why You Shouldn't Care About Theme (as a writer)
"Theme" is another word like "worldbuilding" and "plot hole" that writers put way too much stock into without clear definition. It's often thought to be one of the most important things in your story, one of the defining traits of creative writing, but it can be hard to pin down, and some pervasive definitions are actively harmful to the writing process. Let's talk about that.
A common misconception about theme is that it's the story's "message." Under this definition, a theme of The Great Gatsby would be that generation wealth is a hollow substitute for genuine human enrichment, love, etc. A theme of Hamlet would be to not kill yourself. But this idea of a book's message misses the point of why we read at all. Reading is a relationship between the author and the reader; to interpret text, the author puts their experiences in writing, and you bring your experiences to its reading. In other words, you as the reader create meaning from a story. You give the story its messages. The author's only purpose is to transcribe their worldview and experiences, and the best authors can sway the empathy of the reader towards those experiences. Anything greater than this, any book that moralizes, preaches, dictates, is gaudy, emotional propaganda. Imagine a novel where throughout the book, the author is telling you about the toxic environmental effects of unwalkable cities. While true, narrative fiction is a realm of characters and story, not essays. Readers pull meaning from a novel because they think and feel about a character's struggle and relate it to their own. So a message about The Great Gatsby is that generation wealth is hollow because we as readers live in an age of unprecedented wealth disparity; a message about Hamlet is to not kill yourself because we as readers have felt pretty down in the dumps sometimes and have maybe thought about suicide. But our experiences could be different: if we're generationally wealthy, we might read Gatsby as a celebration; if we have an awful stepfather, we might read Hamlet first as a story of revenge than of introspection. Strong authors make you sympathize with the experiences they've gone through--Fitzgerald himself was a wealthy, popular man and saw firsthand the effects of wealth, and Shakespeare probably felt rough around the emotional edges at times--but ultimately, deciding a text's "messages" is up to the reader.
So if we can't control the messages of our writing, what is theme? I like to think of it as "whatever a text is about," and that about word carries some ambiguity. Is Gatsby about money? Yes, but there's more to that. You can think right now about a plot element your WIP is about, but as authors, we want to find that greater depth. That's what we call theme.
Common writing advice tells you to plot out your theme, that greater depth, before drafting the novel. Figure out that Gatsby is a story about generational wealth being a hollow substitute for romance before anything else. But when you think about it, this is crazy advice. Themes like this can only come from our characters and how they interact with the world, and how our characters act is always going to stray in some way away from our plans for them. Writing that deeper theme, then, is impossible to plan (unless you're the most extreme plotter and have found success like that, then keep doing what you're doing. But you reading this almost certainly are not in that camp, let's be honest). So how do we get there?
Before you start drafting, think about the surface-level "abouts." Don't go deep yet. Just think about what's pressing on your mind. If you want to take a very slight moralistic bent here, do so, but be sure not to go into specifics (that's for the characters to do). For my first novel, I wanted to write about friendship responsibilities, family responsibilities, and friendship; for my second novel, church camp, romance, and evangelical culture; for my current novel, the role of story in culture, honor, familial trauma, and cultural perceptions of gender. Some of these took on moral detail--evangelical culture is bad--but most didn't. As you're writing, your characters will discover that deeper meaning. Again, your characters have to and will by nature of being part of the narrative. Your readers interact with the story, not with you.
In my first novel, I came to the thematic conclusion that too many responsibilities degrade individual identity, but too few leave someone empty; in the second novel, I concluded that evangelical culture places restrictive boxes on what romance looks like, and on how to interact with and resolve traumatic events. But I didn't come up with these--my characters did, and I learned from them in the exact same way any reader would. Similarly, a reader might interact with my characters and come to completely different conclusions. This is normal, okay, and encouraged.
You may also find other themes popping up as you write. In my second novel, popularity and social capital became a huge cog in the machine. Let these fresh themes surprise you, and run with them.
Ultimately, you can't control what your readers take away from your story. Your goal as a writer is to create characters so rich and deep and intimate (not in the romantic sense, unless you're into that) that the reader can bring their experiences to the text and find meaning. We cannot worry about this before starting a writing project, because we can't control it, and thinking too much about it will muddy the waters of what actually matters, what we can affect. And when you start to sense those deeper meanings emerging in your story, run with them, flesh them out, and embody them in the struggles of characters.
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spacecowboyhotch · 4 months
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In Plain Sight, Ch 5: To Atomize
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summary: nathan leaves his house to tell you he loves you.
pairing: nathan bateman x f!reader
contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, enemies to lovers (sorta), boss/employee dynamics, mentions of sick/dying parent, pining, dom/sub dynamics, mid love confessions, oral (m + f receiving), p in v sex, creampie, squirting, NATHAN’S SO IN LOVE AND SIMPY AND FREE
wc: 6,138
an: we've sadly reached the end of the main story. thank you thank you for all the support on this fic. a girl watches ex machina once and suddenly is writing 20+k for an asshole simp. i do plan to write the extras fairly quickly (the next month or so) and they'll vary in length. i hope y'all stick around for more of them.
in plain sight masterlist | family dinner | tiana | TIONB | planted | little hamlet
You and Nathan are doing work out on the couch, your legs thrown over his. It’s all very domestic, something the both of you could get used to. 
He doesn’t look up when he asks, “That date out— do you still want it?”
“I do but honestly, I don’t think it’s realistic. You like being out here, Emma and Phillipa shouldn’t be at home by themselves for so long— not to mention my mom.”
“You don’t talk about your mom,” He observes, his eyes rising from his laptop to look at you. 
You continue your work as you talk, “There’s too much to talk about. And nothing at all.”
“And the vagueness returns,” There’s more bite in his voice than he wants there to be, but he can’t help it.
You notice immediately— going rigid like stone before you fix him with an empty gaze. “She’s dying. She can’t work. She sleeps most days. In the mornings before I come here, I read to her and when I get home I tell her I love her and kiss her goodnight. Is that specific enough for you, Mr. Bateman?”
Nathan just looks at you, his eyes for once, void of any emotion to tell you how he’s feeling. Nathan 3 months ago would have stormed away, or said something snarky. But, he just keeps looking at you. The silence makes you uncomfortable and your words replay in your mind over and over, guilt building each time. Your mother’s a tender subject, but Nathan is…more than anyone has ever been to you despite not making that clear to him. You open your mouth to apologize but he shushes, closing his laptop and then yours before he pulls you into his lap and holds you close. 
He kisses at your temple, your forehead, your cheek, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
It shouldn’t catch you off guard, his affection and tenderness but it does. You melt into him even as your walls go up inside. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not, honey. It’s not. Can you tell me what—“
“Cancer. Off and on since I was in high school.”
“You’ve been taking care of your sisters off and on since they were born?”
You shrug. It was true. In the moment, when you and your mother had made those decisions together— your father wishing and washing his way in and out of your lives whenever he felt like— they hadn’t seemed like a big deal. But, Nathan’s tone can’t help but make you realize how much you’d missed out on because of your duty to your family.
“Shit, honey.”
“It’s alright, Nathan,” You breathe. It’s not, it’s never been okay, but you’ve been telling yourself that for as long as you can remember. 
“It’s not. You’re a good fucking woman. You and your family deserve better.”
“They do deserve better. My sisters don’t have a time remembering her like I do. Before she got sick. That’s fucked up isn’t it?” 
“Yeah, baby, it is.” His hold on your tightens, a hand smoothing up and down your back. “Let me take you out for one night.”
“Nathan, I just said—“
He takes your jaw into his hands, intentional yet gentle with his grip as he guides you to look at him. Those big brown eyes are warm but firm. “We’ll do it in the city. I’ll pick you up from your apartment, you’ll be a phone call away. I’ll bring you home first thing in the morning. C’mon baby, you deserve a break. Let me give it to you.”
You agree to Nathan’s advances, like you always do these days. This date takes a lot of coordinating— but somehow it all turned out in your favor. Nathan jokes that it’s because of his god-like will. You’re just happy to take the breather when it’s presented to you. Emma gets invited to her first sleepover, Phillipa’s school is having a lock in. Somehow, Nathan had convinced you to accept him paying for one day of round the clock care for your mother so her usual nurse, Celia, could have a day off too.
You’re realizing that maybe you’re just as gone for him as he is for you. That you believe what he’s said about the depths of his feelings for you and maybe, you’re ready to take the next step and allow yourself to feel them openly for him too. How quickly the tide turns. How quickly Nathan had put in the effort to show how badly he wanted this— you. 3 months ago you could say with sincere surety that you did not like Nathan Bateman. And now…well you were sure you couldn’t deny loving him. 
He tells you to dress formally— it lands you in your favorite black dress, the one that always gives you a boost of confidence and makes you feel good. You’re going to need if your racing thoughts about how your feelings have deepened are any indicator for how the evening will go. And maybe, once or twice, you’ve imagined Nathan peeling you out of it when your fingers slipped beneath your waistband late at night.
When you open the door, Nathan’s in a crisp white button down and slacks, a suit jacket draped over his shoulders— your knees nearly give out. So do his.
“Fuck me,” He breathes.
“My neighbors can hear you,” You remind him breathlessly, your face hot as his eyes slowly trace your figure. 
“They should be lucky we’re not staying here or they’d hear a hell of a lot more. Fuck. You look incredible, baby.”
“My eyes are up here.”
“I’ve seen enough of those.”
“Nathan.”
“Can you fucking blame me? You walk out here in this tight little dress, one I imagine will stay on until after dinner, which is a fucking sin if you ask me. I’m giving commotion for the dress honey, it is what it is. Come here,” He reaches for you, snaking his arm around your waist so he can kiss you thoroughly. When he breaks the kiss he whispers, “Hi.”
Some of your nerves dissipate at his clear attraction to you, his sweetness. You smile against his mouth, bumping his nose with your own. “Hi. You look so handsome.”
“Thank you,” He murmurs, a smug grin spreading across his face. 
“Patience and good manners, you’re a changed man yet.”
“Does that mean if I ask to feel you up in the limo, you’ll say yes?”
“My neighbors, Nathan,” You remind him sternly, though you’re still smiling. 
“Stuffy old fucks probably need a good show.”
“Walk.”
The limo ride to the nearby docks is 40  minutes with the traffic — and he helps you out like a gentleman, guiding you to a moderately sized boat. It’s impressive, all cream and blues, the 
“Nathan, why is there a helicopter next to this boat?”
“In case you need to get home,” He says simply, if that explanation is enough. 
“In case— we got here by limo.”
“You’re a phone call and a 10 minute helicopter ride away from your family.”
How were you gonna make it through dinner without dragging him to the ground so you could ruck up your dress and fuck him? He was saying all of this, doing all of this so nonchalantly, like it isn’t the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you.
He leans in, mouth and beard tickling your cheek as his whispers teasingly, “This is usually where people say thank you.”
You lean away, giggling a little. Your tone is suggestive, “What if I’m saving my thank you until after dinner?”
“Finally gonna show me some of those methods? It’s been driving me fucking nuts, honey.”
“Depends on how good you are.”
Nathan bites back a moan. This is all so fucking surreal. Being out of his home, being with you. Learning more and more about you, seeing you. Being yours and you being his. It’s more than he could’ve hoped for. He thought he would’ve fucked up by now— and he has, but you held a selfless amount of patience in your heart. He finds himself feeling…grateful? It’s an unfamiliar feeling, one he pushes away from a young age. 
“Don’t be filthy before dinner,” He murmurs lowly.
“You‘ve been eyeing my tits since you picked me up,” You challenge. 
“I’ve been appreciating them, there’s a difference. You ever been on a boat before?”
You eye the boat thoughtfully, “My mom used to take me on the ferry. Does that count?”
Nathan hums. He hasn’t ushered you onto the boat just yet, the two of you standing out on the docks in the salty breeze. It’s nice, being out in the fresh air like this, the water dark as the sun finishes dipping below the horizon. He’d anticipated much more anxiety given his hermit tendencies but it was just you and him and the few staff he’d hired to manage the boat. 
“Do you want to name it?” He blurts out all of a sudden.
“Name what?”
“The boat,” He nods towards the ship. 
You frown, confused. “You haven’t named the boat?”
“I bought it last week.”
“Nathan, did you buy this boat to take me out on a date?”
“Yes I did,” He says with no shame. 
All of that will be an adjustment, the blasé way that he spends money— especially when he spends it on you. You know that he has a fuck ton of it but still; you’ve never lived a life of luxury. 
“Do all employees get this sign-on bonus?” You tease.
“Hush, cheeky girl. Name the boat.”
You grow thoughtful, and that thoughtfulness quickly melts into a melancholic, wistful feeling. You think about your mom. How she’s been swayed back and forth by the tide of life, doing her best to float above it all. It would be nice wouldn’t it, to name something after the woman you love most?
“Boats are named after strong women. So I think…Tiana,” You murmur, voice full of emotion. You clear your throat quickly, hoping he doesn’t notice. 
But Nathan’s obsessed with you— and now that you’ve let him in, he can sense every push and pull. He maneuvers you so that your back is flush with his front. “I like it. Tiana…is that your mother?”
You don’t trust your voice. You simply hum, nodding a little bit as you press back against him. 
He squeezes you tighter, “It’s perfect, baby. Absolutely fucking perfect.
He cups your jaw with one hand, guiding your gaze to his. He’s never seen you nonverbal like this before, never seen sadness in your eyes like this. It makes his chest ache. He guides your mouth to his, kissing you with gentle reverence you never would’ve guessed he was capable of until recently.
Nathan just holds you, letting you melt against him in silence for an undetermined amount of time. His worry grows. “Do you want to call the nurse before we sit down for dinner? Emma? Phillipa?”
Finally, you speak. “No. No, it’s alright. I spend the entire day away from all of them when I’m working for you— I can do this.”
“Just say the word, okay, sweetheart?”
You lean in to give him a soft peck of appreciation, “Yes, I will. Thank you, Nathan.”
Dinner is much more elaborate than it had to be— but this is Nathan you’re talking about, a man with practically the entire world at his fingertips. Of course a 10 course meal makes sense to him. Not that you’re complaining about a personal sized crawl through Italy; breads and antipasto, pastas of all sorts, wines that are perfectly paired, and to end your favorite dessert from the first time the two of you shared a meal together. Despite his underestimating himself and his chaste manner, you think that Nathan is good at romance. He’s great at romance. By the time you’re finishing the last bite, you’re warm and full, a little buzzed and most importantly— needy for him. 
Your entire body is craving his. You’ve denied your desires and his for long enough. You need him, you feel like you might go insane with lust— with love, if you don’t have him. 
“Are we sleeping here?” 
“There’s a suite downstairs, or there’s a hotel nearby I reserved. It’s your call.”
“Here…here is good. Will you take me to bed?” You ask, nonchalantly. 
Nathan chokes on the wine he’s sipping, setting it down to looking at you more intently. “Take you to bed,” He repeats.
“Yes, Nathan, take me to bed,” You practically purr at him this time, voice low and smoky.
Nathan has had  lots of sex in his life, never been flustered or taken aback by anyone. He’s accepted that all of his past experiences go out the window when it comes to you, but he doesn’t expect such a strong reaction out of himself when faced with the opportunity to finally ravish you. He feels like if he stood up right now, his legs would give out like jello. 
The way you’re looking at him— he’s sure no one has ever looked at him like this in his entire life. Carnal and hungry, like when you kissed him breathless in the forest, but more intense. It’s almost overwhelming. He’s never been consumed before, and that’s exactly how you’re looking at him. Like you’re going to swallow him whole. His cock twitches and he takes a deep breath.
“Come here,” He says softly, pushing away from the table and holding his hand out for you.
You stand, moving closer to him but don’t take his hand. “If I touch you…if we start here, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
Nathan feels winded. He squeezes his eyes shut, and nods. “Fuck, honey, alright. Follow me.”
Nathan guides you through the dining room and down a hall, not even bothering to mention what doors the two of you pass. His heart is pounding in his chest— he’s ready for this, been ready for so long and he wants this to mean something. He had been ready to wait as long as you needed in order for this moment to be everything it can be. 
The suite he takes you to is larger than you anticipated it to be, but you can’t bring yourself to care. As soon as Nathan shuts the door behind you, you practically launch yourself at him, your hands starting at where his shirt is tucked into his pants. You ruck it up, leaning forward to kiss him.
“Whoa, mmm,” He hums into your mouth. His hands finally fall to cup your ass, kneading and squeezing the way he’s wanted to for hours now. “You been this desperate the whole time?”
“Have you?” You counter as you press him against the door, grinding your hips against his. You can feel him through the fabric of his trousers, and it makes your mouth water. 
“Fuck, baby, lemme get you on the bed at least,” He breathes when he feels the way your hips rut.
You pull away, looking at him with bright but hazy eyes— like he’s just come up with some revolutionary idea. “The bed, right. Come here.”
You start to walk backwards, guiding him with you by his shirt. Once the back of your thighs hit the bed, you switch positions with him, encouraging him to sit down so that you can straddle him. Nathan feels weightless— this is like his dream come true. Just a couple months ago he was jerking himself off imagining a sight like this, and now he was living it. 
Looking up at you, he feels warm. Fuzzy. Like he’s in the safest place he’ll ever be in. With his limited data and hope, trust— things he’s never had with anyone— he knows that he is. This is all he’ll ever need. You’re all he’ll ever need. He loves you so much it hurts. 
“Baby,” He sighs, guiding your mouth down to his. Where your mouth is hurried and insistent, his is lazy and indulgent. He wants to savor every moment.
“Hmm,” You hum grinding down against his clothed cock in a move that makes both of you moan. 
“I fucking love you.”
You lean away, eyes wide with alarm. Part of you, most of you, thought that to be true. Well— whatever he was capable of feeling that was close to love. He’s proved himself to you. All of his intentions, his actions, his words— no matter how haphazard he’s been in communicating them— have been pure. While just a few months ago you were sure Nathan could love no one but himself, you’re sure now that he’s being completely honest. It sends you further into your frenzy. He loves you. 
Nathan Bateman fucking loves you. 
You’re quiet for so long that he feels antsy. There’s no regret, no anger in his heart like he thought there could be when first pursuing you. But he is starting to feel small, like a nuisance like his parents made him feel all those years ago. 
“Really?” You ask breathlessly, unsure if it’s from his declaration or your body’s response to being pressed against him like this. 
He scoffs, squeezing your hips, “Really? You think I fucking—“
“Okay, alright, I love you too.”
“Really?”
You fix him with narrowed eyes. Of course you get scolded but he gets to do the exact same thing as you. It’s very Nathan. It makes you love him more. 
“Nathan.”
“My really is fucking justified, I’m some asshole, you’re…you’re the moon. The sun. The sky. I’m not good at this poetic shit but I mean it.”
“You’re the sweetest, most thoughtful, insightful and just— kind. I know what you’re thinking, I know that something or someone’s taught you not to think that you’re kind and worthy but you are. Even if you’re an asshole and a clown, you are. And I love you.”
“We’re fucking corny and sickly sweet and so cliche. I could vomit,” He says, his grin wide and genuine. 
You nuzzle into him, laughing softly at the tickle of his beard, “You would study it, see if it quantified any of your love for me.”
“So you think I’m disgusting,” He murmurs, using his grip on you to rock your hips down against his cock. 
The pressure is sweet, and you shiver even as you try to get your voice even. “Am I wrong?”
He laughs a little, eyes fluttering when you help him rock you down even further, “No.”
You reach up to remove his glasses, bending to set them on the side of the bed— you didn’t want to break them, now with how you were about to ravish him. “Kiss me, Nathan.”
Usually, he needs to be told things once, twice, and again but this request Nathan obeys immediately. His hands start to travel up your body, fingers sliding under the fabric of your dress to expose inch after inch of your precious skin. His eyes are closed as he bares you to him, pulling down the cups of your bra so your breasts spill out, but he can feel how beautiful you are under his fingertips. Smooth and soft, fitting perfectly in his grasp.  Every touch, every kiss is electric. His hands skate up your stomach, cupping your breasts before he takes your nipples between his fingers, rolling them gently.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, you feel so good. So good,” He mumbles into your mouth, his fingers still working, eager to hear the soft little sound you made.
You melt into him, nodding frantically as you continue to sip from his mouth. “You too.”
Nathan breaks away from your mouth, biting and kissing his way down your neck, sucking a faint mark into your skin. More. He wants more of you, and you more of him. He kisses a trail between your breasts before leaning in, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth. You taste so fucking good. Like honey and cocoa, so delicious. Not for the first time, Nathan thinks about how much he wants to consume you. Or be consumed. He can’t choose, his head is spinning and he’s getting more frantic, shaking beneath you as he sucks and nips at you. 
You can feel yourself getting lost in him, but this isn’t what you’ve thought about all these months. He feels incredible, his mouth is warm, his hands sure. The pleasure that’s blooming all over your body is one you'll never give up. But, no, for all these months, you’ve thought about turning him into a whining, shivering mess. You’ve thought about making him cum over and over until he can think of nothing but you. 
You lean away, cupping your face in your hands,  “Wait— please, let me touch you. I get off all the time, but I haven’t touched a man in so long. I wanna see you.”
“Honey—“
Your hands fall, gripping his shirt and ripping at it. Buttons scatter as you work him out of the shirt, leaning in to coax his mouth open for you once more.  “Let me make you cum. Please, I need it.”
“That’s what you want?” He asks skeptically.
“Yeah, and you’d give me anything, wouldn't you? You ask, tilting your head at him expectantly.
“I’d give you anything,” He confirms.
You slid out of his lap, reaching behind to unclasp your bra and discard it. It leaves you in nothing but black lace panties. “Then take your pants off.”
All Nathan can do for several moments is stare at you, his mouth agape, ready to drool. He could believe he’s died and gone to heaven, except he doesn’t believe such a place exists. And if he did, he would not end up in a place where he would be so privileged to be met with the sight of you. You're an angel in the most sinful way.
“Nathan,” You coo when he doesn’t move, a soft grin on your face.
“Sorry,” He mumbles, a soft blush rising in his cheeks. 
It’s adorable, it makes the heat in your lower belly burn brighter. You can feel yourself getting wetter for him by the second. “I thought about you like this so much.”
“Could've fooled me,” He heaves, trying to seem less affected than he is. That boat sailed the moment you asked him to take you to bed. 
You laugh softly at his words, dropping to your knees and resting your hands on his broad thighs.  “Don’t be snarky, baby, just let me make us feel good. You want that don’t you?”
Nathan shivers, even as your warm, honeyed voice glides across his skin. God he knew you’d be like this, knew he’d bend to your will so easily but to hear it and feel it. “I do,” He sighs, allowing you to guide him to sit down on the edge of the bed.
Your eyes are dark with hunger, and you lick your lips a little as you look up at him. “God, your cock’s so fucking pretty. Can I put my mouth on you?”
“You can do whatever you want to me,” He whispers earnestly.
You aren’t gentle or patient or thoughtful about letting him adjust. You take Nathan’s cock completely, so deep that he feels like he’s starting to enter your stomach. It takes everything in him to keep his hips down, a will that crumbles when you swallow, your throat tightening around him. The sound you make is a cross between a gag and a satisfied hum. You pull off without missing a beat, spitting on the tip of his cock and lifting a hand to grip and pump him.
“Mmm, shit, that’s really…that’s really fucking—“ Nathan babbles incoherently, words cutting off. 
You start in on him again, your head bobbing up and down as you take him over and over again. The noises he’s making have you squeezing your thighs together. Soft and breathy and so so sweet. You peer up at him wanting to see how he looks. The flush in his cheeks is deeper and redder, his eyes somehow sharp and hazy all at once. Seeing him so vulnerable, gooey and nearing the peak of pleasure you don’t stop, sucking harder, allowing the tip of his cock to go deeper.
One of his hands falls to your shoulders, gripping it gently, “Wait— wait— fuck, hold on baby, just,”
Carefully, you pull off of him, wiping at the trail of spit that connects your mouth to his cock. You look up at him with those sweet little eyes, like you haven’t nearly sucked what little of a soul lies within him. “Hmm?”
“Wanna cum inside you, please.”
“This is you cumming inside me,” You challenge, kissing at the head of his cock.
“Inside your pussy,” He gasps, the vein that trails down the center of his forehead on display as he fights to stay still—as he holds back.
You rest your head on his thigh, looking up at him like he’s hung the moon. The sight alone almost makes him cum. 
“Say, please,” You whisper.
“Please, sweetheart.”
“You’re so good, do you know that?” You ask him softly, reaching up to cup his face. 
“Good?” He asks with a furrowed brow. The word directed at himself feels clumsy in his mouth. 
“Good,” You repeat as confirmation. “So good that you’re gonna lay back against those pillows without another word aren’t you?”
Processing your words, he simply nods, helping you to your feet before he scoots back, propped up against the pillows, looking so devilishly handsome. If you stared at him long enough, you’re sure you could cum from just this sight. But why torture yourself like that, when you’re this close to having him buried inside you? Body humming with anticipation you crawl up the bed, straddling him once more. 
“Do you want to feel how wet I am?” 
“Yes,” He answers quickly before tacking on, “please.” 
That sentence alone shows just how much Nathan Bateman is a changed man. Please without being promoted? Atop apologies and vulnerability and love confessions. 
You hold your panties to the side for him, “Go on then. Touch me, baby.”
Nathan’s eyes track to where your pussy runs along his cock, burning hot. He reaches for you, letting his fingers sweat through your folds, causing both of you to moan. You’re so fucking wet, dripping, glistening in the warm lamplight. 
“For me?” He asks, voice and hands trembling as he finds your clit, pressing his thumb against it.
“For you. Because you’re so fucking good for me. Good to me.”
Every fucking word out of your mouth pulls his closer to his release. He needs to be inside you, he can feel the clock ticking. “Can I fuck you now, honey? Please, I need to feel you.”
“Who knew Nathan Bateman would beg?”
“On my knees for the rest of my fucking life, baby.”
You can picture it, except in your dreams, Nathan’s beard is shining with your slick. Your breath catches, and you grow too needy to continue teasing him. It takes you just a few seconds to line him up with your entrance, giving neither of you time to adjust as you sink down on him completely. His back arches, huffing a heavy, labored breath. He’s sweating, he can feel it, his skin slick underneath your fingertips as your pussy grips him so deliciously tight. You’re dripping down his cock already.
“Fuck, honey—,” He laughs, squeezing at your hip, nearly pushing you off to hold on. “Fuck me, you couldn’t have— warned a guy?”
“Sorry,” You breathe, grinning down at him, “needed to fuck you.”
Nathan’s eyes roll as you rock your hips, completely breathless, “Shit—your pussy’s so fucking tight. So hot, you been saving this all for me?”
You bend, your nose resting against his as you gaze into him, “Savor it— don’t think. Don’t control. Just enjoy it, Nathan. Be with me. Give in to me. Say yes.”
“Yes,” He slurs, drawn out and drunk on you. 
You guide his hands to either side of his head, holding them down by his wrists as you start to move, your pussy taking his cock the way your throat had with even more ease. The two of you fit together so perfectly, your cunt swallowing his entire length over and over, pleasure mounting higher and higher inside you. Nathan’s winning the fight against his body now. He’s happy to submit to you, it feels so good, so perfectly sweet, like he was made to be underneath you like this. But his body screams for release, to roll you over and fuck you hard until you squeeze his cock so tight there’s no choice in his cumming.  
“Wanna cum…wanna cum in your pussy,” He whines, his hips lazily rocking up to meet yours. 
“You will baby, I’ll let you fill me up,” You assure him, slowing the rhythm of your hips, teasing yourself and him for a moment as you close your eyes and let yourself really feel every single inch of him.
Nathan’s lips are parted slightly, pink and flushed, soft gasps leaving him as your hips grind down against his. You remove one of your hands from his wrists, leaning back so you have room to run your thumb over the swell of his bottom lip.
“You okay, baby?”
“Yeah,” He says, his words syrupy, “feels good. So good.”
“Let me in there,” You murmur, tapping two of your  fingers against his lips, and he opens wide immediately. You purposefully clench your cunt around him, a small reward for his obedience and he groans, his back arching as pleasure burns in his veins. 
“I’m gonna soak your cock,” You tell him matter of factly.
Nathan’s eyes go wide, his chest rising fast as his lungs beg for air. No matter what he does its not enough. He’s drowning in you, there’s nothing he can do about it. There’s nothing he really wants to do about it. “Soak my—“
“Nice and wet, all over you. Gonna make us messier,” You whisper, like the sound of his cock gliding in and out of you isn’t already obscene. “You want that don’t you, Nathan?”
He doesn’t have words, just soft, needy sounds. Pleading round eyes. Shallow, noisy breaths. It’s all the answer you need.
“I know, baby. I know. Cum whenever you need to, I’ll make it,” The gentle tone of your voice doesn’t match the devious look in your eyes. 
You know exactly what you’re doing. You know his cock aches with the need to release, know he’s fighting this because he never wants this to end. Know that he’s never been this deep in subspace in his life, that he’ll obey any command you give him.
You shift up on your knees, until you’re taking nothing but the tip, and then rock back, taking him as deep as you can. Bending to your will, Nathan cums with a sound that can only be described as sweet agony. 
As he fills you up, your hips slip into a grind, pressing and pressing the tip of his cock against the sensitive spot inside you. You can feel it coming now, you know just how to twist your hips, just how long to rub at your clit to make it happen. Your thighs grow tight, your cunt clenching as it starts to milk him for everything he’s got. You gush around him, the sound so wet and filthy that Nathan thinks he might cum again. Your slick is everywhere; your thighs, your stomach and all over Nathan, his lower belly glistening with you. He looks down and groans again, need rising sharply in his chest. He wants to taste you. 
“Let me taste you, please. Drown me,” He begs, one of his hands shakily reaching for where the two of you connect.
Your hands fall to the pillows on either side of his head, propping you up from where you’d since collapsed onto him. “Nathan, baby, you’re tired—“
But, Nathan is desperate— as desperate as you were when you asked him to take you to bed, you can hear it in his voice as he pleads, “Sit on my face. Please, please, please, baby. Fucking, please. Let me eat your pussy.”
Your lost to him and his begging. With the little strength you have left, you shuffle up, getting you thighs on either side of his head, gently lowering yourself down through the burn of your muscles. Nathan has another idea, weakly reaching for you and effectively smothering himself in your pussy. Its messy, the sounds of his mouth as he licks and sucks at your clit like a starved man. Like you two hadn’t just stuffed yourselves full at dinner. 
“Nathan,” You mumble, trying to steady yourself by leaning against the headboard. His beard tickles against your thighs, but makes the work of his mouth even better, brushing each and every bit of your sensitive pussy.
Despite your plea, Nathan is insatiable, pulling you down by his grip on your ass. He’s gasping and whining into your cunt, like it's all too much and too little at the same time. He can hardly breathe with how firmly he’s got you pressed against his face, though he wouldn’t change his position for the world. He would happily die here if it was what you wanted.
He can feel your thighs shaking against the sides of his head and knows that you’re close to cumming. Doubling his efforts, Nathan switches from running his tongue through your folds to focusing solely on your clit, circling and circling in a maddening technique. When you fall apart on his tongue, he presses his tongue inside of you, eager to drink up every single drop of your sweet honey. 
He feels like he’s cumming again, his cock jerking behind you though there’s nothing for him to release. He feels like he’s been split right open, all of his tender, vulnerable spots on display.
It takes several minutes for Nathan to come back to himself once you shift off of his face, laying your body against his. He’s gasping for air with tightly shut eyes, his entire body shaking. You run a hand up and down his chest, cooing soft praises as you try to soothe him. 
He stares at the ceiling, steadying his breaths. “Jesus fucking Christ, baby. You’re the filthiest person I’ve ever met.”
You tilt your chin to look up at him, admiring the shine of his beard that’s completely covered in you. A mark that he’s yours. “Thank you.”
The grin on your face— you’re trying to fucking kill him. How many times has he thought since he’s started this endeavor of winning your heart and why is it not over now that he has? Your grin is smug, full of fire, the fire he’s wanted from the moment he laid his eyes on you. He loves you so fucking much. If this is what he gets, he’ll be better for the rest of his life. He’ll move to the city, do the house in the crowded suburbs with the picket fence, get married. Have kids, and attend the most boring PTA meetings that plan bake sales. Bake sales where he’d have to make cookies— real cookies, not the ones with coconut sugar and almond flour, and low sugar chocolate. If it was what you wanted he’d do it all. Any of it at the drop of a hat.
“What are you thinking about?” You trace small shapes on his chest, enjoying the post-coital cuddle. 
“You.”
“What about me?”
“That you’re everything,” He says easily. It’s nice— the reservations, the anxiety that he had about all of this has faded in the shadows. 
With you, Nathan gets to be completely honest, knowing that he’s safe. None of what his parents said was true. He’s not unlovable. He’s not selfish. He isn’t just a fuck up that can never amount to anyone’s expectations. Despite his mistakes, he’s allowed to be loved. 
“Remember when I was just your employee?” You ask teasingly, snuggling further into him.
“Fuck, I was an idiot for months. Best thing I’ve ever had, dangling in front of me in plain sight.”
“Not Bluebook?”
“No.”
“Or buying that property?”
“No.”
“The money?”
“No.”
“Your freedom?”
He snorts, “My freedom?”
“You said I could do whatever I wanted to you,” You remind him. 
“And I fucking meant it.”
“It doesn’t sound very…freeing. Very Nathan,” You muse softly. 
Nathan’s quiet for a long time— so long that you grow nervous, afraid that you’ve said the wrong thing. Just as you’re about to sit up to apologize, he wraps his arms around you, dropping a kiss on your forehead, “This, sweetheart, is the freest I’ve ever been in my life.” 
Fin
nathan taglist: @missdictatorme, @hon3yboy, @runa-falls, @campingwiththecharmings, @toracainz, @steven-grants-world, @clemdango04, @jdbxws, @crispysublimecupcake, @sub-aro, @faretheeoscar, @cupidysm, @whentheskyispinkandabitblue, @nova-ivy541, @sparkypantelones, @veritable-trash, @mangoslushcrush, @thhriller @tenderhornynihilist, @queerponcho
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maxe-murderer · 6 months
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thoughts on the summoning choreo and the LiB's ages
aight so i watched the digital ticket last night and spent way too long analyzing the choreo for the summoning and a) want to ramble abt it cause its cool and b) wanna give my 2 cents for the Lords in Black ages theories (i don't think I've seen anyone mention this but im sure im not the first person to notice)
so the choreo for LiB do at the very beginning of the summoning is like a lot to take in all at once so i didn't take it in all at once and rewatched the same like 10 seconds over and over
so each of the LiB have their own little bit of choreo that's theirs, with Blinky and Nibbly's probably being the most obvious. But they all seem to do the same moves - with some little differences for a few of them - at completely different and seemingly random times. They do all start with "their" move. So breaking down each one, starting with:
Wiggly: The first move Wiggly does and the first one we see in the pro shot. Bent over at the hips, arms out to the side swinging in and out at the elbows. Reminiscent of his tentacles, yknow. One difference I can see with his choreo is he puts the majority of his weight on his right leg with the left out to the side and partially bent - he only does this the first time he does his move, and Tinky does similar but to a lesser extent.
Tinky: First thing he does, the bend down snap up repeat, arms back when down arms out in front when up. First time you see it in the pro shot is Nibbly doing it in the background behind Pokey (roughly 2:01:07). It doesn't make anything immediately jump to mind, other than like, goats fighting.
Nibbly: Since Nibbly has the lollypop prop it looks like licking the lollypop. For everyone else, it's just their right hand sorta sliding down in front of their face. The first time we see this is Wiggly doing it during the line "Wiggly wants his wrath".
Blinky: Bent at the hips, circle down and left to right and up. Blinky holds his hands in front of his to make that triangle/diamond over the one eye. Pokey holds his mask in front of his face for this, it looks like Wiggly does either the same hands as Blinky or basically the same but centered on his face, it's difficult to tell, Nibbly and Tinky just have their hands out in front of them.
Pokey: Swapping from facing right, right hand up in front of your face to facing left with the left hand up. Makes me think of Hamlet. Pokey looks at the mask while facing right and his hand when facing left. Everyone does the same with or without whatever prop they have. Tinky and Wiggly put their arms all the way up in a more of a presenting something type pose - Tinky's arms straight up and Wiggly's a bit bent. Nibbly does the move but faces forward instead of looking at his hands - he does this for every move, face is constantly directly toward the audience.
so I do wanna say first that while they do have all the same bits of choreography (just at different times) none of them do it exactly the same. There are small differences between all of them on the same moves (ex. Tinky: some people keep their head up when going down others have their face to the ground. Nibbly always keeping his face forward. Legs bent and feet flexed. Etc.)
Ok. So. The order that each of the LiB do each move is the same for all of them, but they each start at their own move and end on their own move.
The order goes: Wiggly, Tinky, Nibbly, Blinky, Pokey
Its a really fun way to keep the scene feeling cohesive but also super chaotic. It's pretty much impossible to notice a pattern if you aren't replaying the same part specifically looking for if there's a pattern.
As for their ages, I can't say that I actually have any strong opinions on the LiB's ages (I think any sort of hierarchy among each other they have is based on what I can best describe as their eldritch vibes) but this is fun to think about so like.
We all agree that Wiggly's the oldest so basically, the order Wiggly does the choreo as the ages of the LiB. And I think that when we look at it like this it has a sort of like, coming into being as the universe evolves to fill whatever cosmic need there is or smth like that. If you get what I'm getting at.
Wiggly's the oldest, he's clearly in charge and I think is also the most vague if we try to narrow down his "thing" if you know what i mean
Tinky would then be second oldest, I think it makes sense. He fucks with time itself, once you have a world you kind of need time for shit to happen in it
Nibbly next, middle child. He's hunger. As soon as you have life in the world that life will need to eat. And, he's the only one of the LiB who will consistently exist as a physical being outside of the Black and White (at least for a short while) and I think having the middle child be the one to have that sort of ability just sorta works
Blinky is the second youngest. His whole thing is sight. Not everything alive can see but a whole load of them can. Insert some sort of specific connection to the development of humanity. He's pretty satisfied with just having Watcher World seemingly. His brothers all have their domains and shticks already, so he'll just be happy in his corner torturing the shit out of whoever goes to Watcher World. No need to step on anyone's toes, y'know.
Pokey is the youngest and steps on everyone's toes. He both has a pretty nailed-down theme of control but is sorta, messy about it? his two main appearances have his existence in the physical world be directly connected to the meteor to the point of him getting kinda fucked over by it in Yellow Jacket. He's "The Singular Voice", he wants everything to be him, if it's not his voice he wants it dead. He's also the only one who we've seen get scolded by Wiggly. So like, the annoying and loud little brother.
anyway that's it. idk if you have any thoughts tell me. working boys budget breakdown soon to come
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flameraven · 3 months
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The thing about "everything is meant" is... that was said for S1.
I don't think I've seen it used by the cast/crew for S2. And part of this is because the strike was happening (and also Twitter is dying) so we have a lot less interviews and behind the scenes stuff for S2.
I see people pointing out so many small inconsistencies and going "everything is meant!" and like. Sure. Maybe some of these things are Clues.
But this is a season that had a very tight budget, and lost a lot of it to Covid precautions. Covid also limited where and how they could film. These budget restrictions severely cut down on the planned run time. We went from planned 55 min episodes to 42 minutes-- that's a full hour of screentime lost.
So yeah, I think S2 probably had continuity errors in a way that S1 didn't. I don't think Neil Gaiman is lying about the clocks or the Bentley(s) to throw us off. I think there probably just were errors that they didn't have time or money to fix, because most people would not notice. I'm sure the crew did their best! Little details like the tiles on the sink show us they put in a lot of effort. But you can't catch everything. Neil Gaiman is very good at working within the limitations of TV. He has told us some of the workarounds they had to do in S1 - the scene with Crowley at the bar was originally planned to be at night, in St. James' park, with Aziraphale's face a reflection in the water. The Globe scene was originally supposed to be full of people, but they couldn't afford the extras, so we got Crowley making Hamlet famous as a favor to Aziraphale. Now it's hard to imagine those scenes any other way. I fully believe that he (and the cast and crew) made the show they wanted to make, to the best of their ability. And probably there are some little clues and foreshadowing that will make sense only in the context of S3. But I would be cautious about fixating too much on tiny details or minor inconsistencies.
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tallerthantale · 6 months
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My spicy ineffable husbands take
You've heard consent isn't just for sex. Now get ready for the corollary you didn't know you needed, consensual non - consent isn't just for sex. It's going to take some foundation to get to the point, but trust me, it's worth it.
Disclaimer: this is all my personal interpretation, you are always welcome to see things differently.
I think Crowley and Aziraphale have both known that they are on a path to become each other's world since Job, but in a way that to them feels more profound than can ever be human analogued.
I think Aziraphale has known for some time that he wants their relationship to progress in a human, (physical, courtship, ect...) way, but is approach avoidant. The approach avoidance takes the form of trying to bait Crowley into making a move, like the faces he makes to get Crowley to make Hamlet a success, or the pouting he does to get Crowley to remove the paintball paint, but then bailing when Crowley makes an offer that gets serious. "You go to fast for me", not letting Crowley come over for the lockdown. But the "you go too fast for me" isn't a no, it's a 'convince me.'
Crowley's goal with pulling Aziraphale into shades of grey depends on letting Aziraphale make his own choices at every incremental step. All he is ever able to do is make an offer, and then Aziraphale decides if he is ready for it. It worked for the food, it probably eventually worked for the wine sometime off screen. It eventually turns into their agreement, which continues to exist in the form of: Crowley makes a proposition, Aziraphale makes a decision. We see Crowley be VERY hands off about the offers and answers. He almost never initiates physical contact with Aziraphale, and barely responds when Aziraphale does touch him, despite the actions clearly grabbing his attention. This lets Aziraphale have full control over how far he is willing to stray from heaven at any particular moment. In the church scene, Crowley notices the holy water, but doesn't push about it. Aziraphale was a no on that, and Crowley respects the no, and comes to his rescue and goes on the full date night magic show adventure accepting that no without complaint. And Crowley LOVES complaining.
If this dynamic is adhered to, Aziraphale won't make an actual first move physically, because he wants Crowley to do it, in the same way he might insist that Crowley do 'the dirty work.' He wants Crowley to be the proximate cause, because that is how Aziraphale assigns responsibilities to actions. S1E1 modern Aziraphale is still doing the whole "I've never actually killed anything before... I don't think I could... : (" bit after sending the French executioner to his death without qualms, and S1E6 Aziraphale is still fussing over trying to make sure it's Crowley that gets them into the airbase, because 'I'm the nice one, you can't expect me to do the dirty work.' He really does put far too much weight on who is doing the immediate action in that moment in isolation, and not nearly enough ethical weight on who contrived the scenario that caused the chain of events.
Crowley equally will not make a first move physically by their old rules, because of the priority he places on letting Aziraphale have full control of every millimeter of his indulgences. The proposition / decision framework that Crowley is adhering to is a system of platonic structured consent, and I don't think there is any reason to believe he would treat non platonic consent differently. I imagine that in an alternate universe where Azriaphale owns his desires and makes a physical first move, but there is a similar lack of communication, Crowley would starfish in the absence of an explicit instruction to do otherwise for fear of going somewhere Aziraphale doesn't want to go. In my view, Crowley's default really is to be that absolutist when it comes to Aziraphale's consent.
The irony of it is that he really doesn't need to be. Aziraphale's skittishness is an act. Aside from the kiss, the one other instance of Crowley initiating a substantial physical thing is the wall slam. As others have observed, Aziraphale is not even slightly fazed by it. If anything, he is fazed by Crowley letting him go. Right after he objects to Crowley hypnotizing the nun, "you didn't have to do that, you could have just asked her." But slamming him into a wall? No objection. (Do that again, right now.)
Personally I think Aziraphale's continuous bailing and 'you go too fast for me' had left Crowley with the impression that Aziraphale was not physically interested, at least not seriously, not yet. I think the Nina revelation was a 'oh shit, he actually wants that now.' That gave him the motivation to first attempt an offer, and then when that got derailed, for the first time, he didn't let Aziraphale have full control. From how I read Crowley's behaviour up to that point, the confession kiss was a very dramatic reversal that speaks to an almost unhinged emotional state.
That said, outside of the part where they were in the middle of a fight, being swept off his feet like that really is what Aziraphale wanted Crowley to do, and crucially, he didn't want to have to tell Crowley to do it. I think by season 2 Aziraphale is owning his desire for the trappings of a human romance, but when it comes to the more physical things, I could imagine Aziraphale most of the way through season 2's modern era still 100% endorsing the idea that he isn't being lustful if he's just letting Crowley have his way.
Problem is, Crowley's version of 'having his way' is transparently doing whatever Aziraphale wants him to do, specifically because Aziraphale wants him to do it and for no other reason.
And now for the spicy bit.
The impasse Aziraphale and Crowley have here is very similar to an impasse that's known to show up in CNC kink space. (That stands for Consensual Non - Consent.) This comparison is useful for understanding what's happening with them even if you headcannon them as sexless ace, or vanilla (or, you know... vanilla for now...) because so much of their interactions revolve around platonic consent games. So the argument I am presenting here is not that they would strike up sexual CNC roleplays, but rather to say that the way they have been interacting this whole time functionally is a platonic version of a poorly negotiated CNC dynamic already.
The source of the dynamic goes back to Aziraphale's fixation on proximate cause. He can set up whole elaborate escapades and have no shame response for the consequences as long as the very last action in the chain of events wasn't performed by him, and he has the thinnest veil of plausible deniability about what he was trying to accomplish. He wants the romantic gestures, but he doesn't want to be responsible for either wanting it, or it happening. This is a real life thing that often happens with people who have repressed desires. CNC world has a fair number of people who grew into it from letting themselves have fantasies that initially purported to be fears that someone will force themselves on them. It's a buffer that lets them believe they aren't having sex fantasies. Separately, a lot of trans women, while eggs, get really into forced feminization, because it creates a fantasy reality where they can explore gender with a pretense that it is being forced on them, which takes some of the shame out. (Which is not to suggest that they ought to feel shame, just that there is an unfortunate reality that many do.)
In the same way, Aziraphale wants the human romantic things, but wants to construct a fantasy where they are being forced on him by the wiley demon adversary. Aziraphale wants Crowley to tempt him. In Rome he almost instructs Crowley tempt him. He will construct elaborate damsel in distress rescues to avoid having to ask Crowley out to dinner. He will nonsensically complain about how he'll always know the stain had been there if he miracles away the paintball paint [himself], rather than ask Crowley to do it. Over and over again, Aziraphale wants Crowley to do romantic things, but his moral outlook forbids him from communicating textually that he wants them. If Crowley spontaneously does the things because Crowley intrinsically wants to do them, Aziraphale won't hold himself morally accountable for them happening, no matter how much he is hinting and insinuating. There are still hints of this in S2E5, with how Aziraphale describes Crowley, “rescuing me makes him so happy.” It’s true, but not in a vacuum the way Aziraphale implies. Crowley likes rescuing Aziraphale because Aziraphale likes to be rescued, and Aziraphale likes to pretend his desires aren’t part of that equation. Aziraphale wants to be romanced 'against his will.' Even in a fully non-sexual asexual interpretation of their relationship, this is still a CNC kink dynamic.
So, back to the real world CNC impasse, that usually is about sex, but can also be an analogy. In CNC community, there is a phenomenon where a certain kind of CNC bottom, often from a very repressed and / or religious background, is only willing to express their interest in the form of wanting a CNC top to 'do whatever they like,' with instructions along the lines of 'use me however you want.' But for a CNC top, this is a very unclear instruction. Taking pleasure from someone's body however feels good doesn't automatically entail a lot of the surrounding kink genre activities people often imagine as part of a CNC fantasy, so literally following those instructions leads to a disappointed and bored bottom.
The fantasy from the bottoms perspective is often that the top is so overcome with lust that they do all the kinky things to force their way to the conventional things. But those things aren't actually necessary though? Chucking people around, roughing them up, various implements, ect... it's a lot of work, and it's fun for how people react to it, but people usually aren't literally getting off on the labour intensive extras. It's fun, but it's honestly a more ordinary fun than people outside of that world might expect.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine one once where she said, and I quote, "I'm not a sadist, I just find it fun to hurt people." (And she found it more fun when they were attractive people.) The mental gymnastics of me trying to explain to her "that's literally what sadism is" were wild, and I have refused to let her live it down. It's also worth pointing out that amongst the top tier of serious professional kink riggers, it's pretty common for them to operate on implements / tools / toys only, and a few of the most accomplished have been widely speculated to be ace. House of Gord is the most obvious example, but I honestly get a similar vibe from The Pope. (Obviously not the one at the Vatican) (Google them at your own risk)
But back to the point, CNC bottom fantasies tend to be a universe where they get to imagine the CNC top's kinky behaviours are more driven by the direct pursuit of pleasure than they actually are, and that the top's actions are the organic result of the top's lust, that exist independently of the bottoms proclivities (which don't exist). CNC tops meanwhile (at least the ethical ones) have a particularly strong need for the rules and boundaries and wants to be really clearly and explicitly laid out, and while they might have some specific things they find intrinsically fun, they are most driven by doing what's going to work for the bottom they are working with at the time. The scenes run on the pretense that the top is a raging lust monster, masking the reality that they are delivering a tailor made performance scripted to the bottoms needs and are enjoying it more for the reactions the actions produce than the actions themselves.
To put the pressures and pretenses of the situation concisely, it is pretty common for CNC scenes to be a hypersexual bottom maintaining a performance of not having physical desires and a comparatively if not entirely ace top maintaining a pretense of being overcome by physical desires.
There are a lot of CNC bottoms who do an excellent job navigating communicating what they want, and can drop the role to present a fully thought out list of things that are ok, things that are not ok, this is how you know if somethings going wrong, here are the things that are ok specifically in this context but not in this other context, ect…, there are whole spreadsheets you can set up. It gets talked through and worked out ahead of time, and then later the act goes up.
On the other hand, there are many CNC bottoms who don't handle this well at all, because going through that process breaks the immersion of the fantasy. And if they are coming at things from the repressive background / religious trauma angle, it breaks their ability to deflect their shame about having sinful thoughts if they have to explicitly state what they want. For them, the selling point of CNC is that they get to actually believe they don't want what they want and they aren't responsible for it happening. It's not just about temporarily being that overpowered character for that time, the veil is, at least in part, permanent.
This creates kink negotiations that can end up looking like:
"What do you want me to do to you?"
"I want you to do whatever you want to me."
"Ok, but what do you want me to want to do to you?"
It can be like pulling teeth.
Even if we imagine a Good Omens universe where they don't get up to any actual kinky things, or even sexual things, Aziraphale's behaviour looks a lot like a shy CNC bottom to me. They want the top to "do whatever they want" but even if they don't admit it to themselves, they have some strong ideas about what that would entail, it's going to include some amount of a performance / custom ordered service, and they are going to need to communicate what they want that to be. And Crowley is all about delivering a performance and custom ordered acts of service, but he needs ironclad permission and clear instructions.
Crowley looks to me like a shy CNC top, who wants to be absolutely certain they aren't colouring outside the lines, (as you should be) but is presented with a prospective partner who won't drop the game long enough to communicate what he wants. Crowley will do the favors he knows for sure Aziraphale wants, and live for Aziraphale's reactions. He enjoys coming to the rescue and performing acts of service because it is a service Aziraphale wants, not because there is an intrinsic pleasure to showing up in the Bastille or walking over consecrated ground. A universe where Aziraphale doesn't want Crowley to miracle the paint off his coat is a universe in which Crowley doesn't want to do that either, he isn't going to proactively perform miracles on Aziraphale's clothes on a whim.
I similarly expect that Crowley is 100% enthusiastically down to perform any romantic or sexual act of service Aziraphale desires, specifically because Aziraphale desires it, and probably has little to no intrinsic motivation towards the physical sides of things. I think he's down to put on the character of an intrinsically motivated person, but he needs clear instructions. Consider Crowley in the audience of the 40's magic show, Aziraphale asks if anyone in the audience has experience with firearms, and everyone BUT Crowley raises their hand. He didn't have experience with firearms, so he didn't raise his hand.
Crowley can break out of literalism in a familiar situation, and we do see him take a lot of Aziraphale's hints. A big part of why I keep going back to the paintball scene is because we can observe Crowley shift from 'instructions unclear, hands off' to 'oh, he wants me to do a thing' to [dramatic romantic gesture] to [absolutely loving Aziraphale's reaction]. Just as there is no practical reason for Crowley to do the miracle rather than Aziraphale, there is no practical reason for Crowley to have to blow the paint away with a breath, he could have just finger snapped it like he usually does. But once it's clear to him that Aziraphale wants it to be a thing, Crowley goes full ham into it.
For some things they have enough established short hand to communicate through what they infer they are implying to each other. For physically romantic things though, Crowley hadn't been reading the subtext, and he had been defaulting to hands off mode. So they were stuck at an impasse, until Nina makes the subtext textual and Crowley YOLOs into the kiss. And now they are probably back to the impasse again until they can have an actual explicit, face value conversation, because even though I don't think Aziraphale meant it that way, or experienced the kiss that way, his last "I forgive you" can read to Crowley as an indication that there was a consent violation.
There is a lot of potential compatibility that is squandered by their lack of communication. They really need to sit down for a proper kink negotiation, even if it doesn't involve actual kink yet I think the format would do wonders for them.
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wolfstarshipping · 5 months
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wolfstar wips
So I'm using the @hprecfest day 12 prompt "a WIP you're following" to post a short rec list of WIPs that has been sitting in my drafts for so long now I even had to remove a fic that had been finished in the meanwhile!
Something rotten in Grimmauld Place by @plecotusauritus (8,802 words, Hamlet AU) This is a wolfstar Hamlet AU, need I say more?? I've never much cared or thought about Hamlet since I read it in school but this fic (almost) makes me want to reread Hamlet and I can't wait to see where the story goes next, I love the atmosphere this fic captures, the lovely writing style and just seeing all these characters we know so well fit into the plot of Hamlet is so, so cool!!
the oldest recipe for parsnip soup by @eyra (10.639 words, modern AU, christmas fic) Getting another fic by eyra for the holidays has been such a wonderful treat! I love the whole setting and the characters of this fic so much already, especially Sirius!! And the writing and all the descriptions are so, so beautiful, as always, highly recommend checking it out!!
Welcome to Aphrodite by @de-sire-blog & @rhabarberjunge (18.957 words, magical AU, secret identities) this is one of those fics I've read a while ago, but I keep thinking about it because I loved it so much. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but the premise is Sirius finding a hidden, adults-only club that makes people's secret desires come true, and of course Sirius's secret desire is Remus... It's hot, it's fun, and it's incredibly angsty, I love it.
Stitched into My Skin by @squintclover (19.297 words, canon divergent AU, memory loss) I love the heartache and all the bittersweetness that comes with memory loss fics so much already, and I am so obsessed with the way it's been done in this fic. The premise of the fic is Peter casting a memory loss charm on Sirius on October 31st 1981, which leads to Remus raising Harry and randomly coming across Sirius years later, only Sirius doesn't remember him. I'm so intrigued by the first few chapters already and can't wait to see where the story goes next!
Marauder FM by @hollyivydruzy (26.402 words, modern AU, radio AU, enemies to friends to lovers) I know I've recced this fic before but I will never shut up about it because I love it, and especially this fic's Remus so, so much! It's an iconic, funny radio AU set in London, and I wish the radio shows from this fic were real because I would listen to Sirius's radio show every morning if I could. I just love the vibe of all of them working at the radio station together and the slow burn enemies to friends (to lovers) is so delicious!
The Patchwork of Us by @tracingpatternswrites (27.502 words, modern AU, enemies to lovers, co-parenting Teddy) This is such a lovely fic about Sirius and Remus navigating the difficult situation of co-parenting Teddy after Tonks dies, I love the domesticity and the enemies to lovers vibe of this fic so much!
The Picture of Sirius Black by @lynxindisguise (30.049 words, Dorian Gray AU) okay anyone who has ever seen my blog knows how much I love lynx's writing, which is why I am also obsessed with this fic, even though it's a genre I'm usually not that familiar with. It's a Dorian Gray AU, it's gothic horror but especially the first few chapters are also giving victorian romcom with murder sideplot vibes (and I mean this as the biggest compliment), this fic will make you laugh and cry and want to murder some of these characters yourself maybe.
Only Fools Are Satisfied by grumposaur (@pancakehouse) (38.353 words, modern AU, tennis AU). I really love the exploration of Sirius's family dynamics in the context of him being a professional athlete in this fic, and Remus with his tanlines and freckles is everything!!
Neon Moon by @krethes (47.698 words, modern AU, cowboy stripper Remus AU, Las Vegas) I didn't know how much I needed Remus to be a stripper and a cowboy before I read this fic, but now I do and I love him!! The whole premise of them meeting at a strip club while Sirius is out on James's bachelor party is so iconic, and the vibes of the fic are just overall excellent, highly recommend checking it out!
on another ocean by @colgatebluemintygel (118.148 words, modern AU, backpacking/interrail, friends with benefits) Where do I even start? This is an incredible fic, one of my all time faves, I've reread some of the chapters several times now and am so obsessed with this fic's Remus in his socks and sandals, driving Sirius crazy with lust. Also I will not spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it, but the scene in the budapest chapter in the club bathroom features one of my favorite Sirius moments of all time, across all universes haha.
marginalia by @spindrifters (266.547 words, magical AU, canon divergent AU - Grindelwald won, slavery AU) I'm having a hard time trying to put my love for this fic into words in just a short paragraph. This fic is so unique in its setting, and it's so beautifully written and asks & answers the question "what if Grindelwald had won?" in such an incredible, highly political and also very immersive way, if you haven't read it already I really recommend checking it out (as well as the already complete Tedromeda spinoff set in the same world, history books!!!).
Staying Strangers by 3amAndCounting (319,368 words, modern AU, texting fic, university AU). This is one of my comfort fics, I love a good texting AU, this is quite a popular fic anyways but if you haven't read it and like modern AUs & texting fics (though it isn't all just texting) go check it out!
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y’know I find it so interesting that often in adapted versions of Hamlet that shorten/change the play extensively, Horatio is usually among the first things to go.
The Lion King, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (to an extent), heck even the Simpsons, all manner of adaptations long and short all without any substitute/notable role for Horatio or a suitably similar character. And I get why. He doesn’t do much on his own that impacts the plot, meaning that hardly any of the actual story beats are missed without his interference.
But I think that just provides a really interesting insight into what his character stands for in the most meta sense of his writing, to be honest; Horatio is necessary, despite being unnecessary. He’s the one who writes the story down in the first place, it’s his to tell- the very first scene starts not with Hamlet’s father’s death or even with Hamlet himself, but with him, Horatio, and at the end once everyone is dead, he’s the only one left to tell the tale.
He’s also the only one who ever sees the full picture. He sees the ghost firsthand, he’s the one to tell Hamlet about it, and in return Hamlet tells him everything. His thoughts, plans, and murder-y boating escapades, Horatio is the only other person to ever know about it all. At the same time, Hamlet hardly ever seems to stick around to see the consequences of his own actions- and it’s Horatio who witnesses them instead. Horatio is the one to take care of Ophelia when she goes mad, the one who sees just how deeply Hamlet has wounded her in his quest for a ‘just revenge’. Horatio is the one to hear Hamlet recount the deaths of his childhood friends to him with something that sounds uncomfortably like pride.
Horatio is the one that’s told by Hamlet that he’s held in his ‘heart of hearts’, the one who’s at the other end of Hamlet’s flattery and admiration, all the while witnessing what becomes of Hamlet’s previous closest companions. His lover. The two men, of whom no other living people he adored more. Supposedly Hamlet held these people closest to his heart, but Horatio is the one to see how Hamlet treats his ‘closest friends’, all while being told by the prince he’s one of them. He wonders what will become of him, surely. He loves the prince, but he can’t help but consider the whole ‘cornered animal’ mentality to be a bit unreliable when he’s seen what he does to the innocent. What Hamlet himself never seems to see, always being off on some boat, or dying, but never sticking around to comprehend the consequences. That’s not his job.
Horatio is the audience. Let in to the most private thoughts, into the sympathetic tendencies of the prince, all while seeing the true and unsavoury parts that keep us from ever truly committing ourselves to the same cause. That keeps us from thinking of him as a good person, despite the fact that we love him regardless. Or maybe we don’t, but we’ve been in too deep for too long to do anything about it.
When Horatio is removed, not much changes. Hamlet loses a confidant, and maybe his mind a bit sooner, but the story still plays out. When he dies, there is no one to hold him as he goes. No one to tell his story as it truly was. Except there is, because we’ve just seen it. In that sort of way, Horatio can never really be removed, only brought offstage. But if the story is told, and if there’s a crowd to view it, Horatio will always be there, somewhere in the audience. Watching. (It’s all he can seem to do.)
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terapsina · 7 months
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#2 for the book worm ask game!
(ask game)
2. Favorite fantasy book(s).
(Eeeeexcellent, I do love fantasy books. Though how I'm gonna narrow it to only a few I've got no idea. Okay. I'm going to remove the very obvious choices like Lord of the Rings (though it is one of my faves)).
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Monstrous Regiment. I love the entire Discworld series (especially The Witches) but I've also got a huge soft spot in my heart for Terry Pratchett's take on 'a girl dresses like a boy to go to war' (and thinks of everything except some spare socks in- erm... the right place). Along with Polly, the squad consists of a vampire, a troll, an Igor, a religious fanatic and two very, very close "friends" (and yes, the official summary put the friends in quotes too). And everyone has their own secret.
I love basically everything about this book and I can't tell you guys any of it because it would spoil all the fun.
The Goblin Emperor. This one's a story filled with light. Maia the half goblin son of the elven Emperor was never supposed to take the throne (or to ever even be at court. because racism). And then everyone ahead of him dies in a single "accident" and suddenly he's the new Emperor. Maia is a good person, and a kind one, and despite everything that gets thrown at him he keeps hold of that understanding of right and wrong and refuses to bend.
(I have to mention that the language of the writing is kinda hard to get into in the beginning, and the characters's have very complicated and long names, but once you get into it it really did enhance the story for me).
Good Omens. An Angel and a Demon try to stop the apocalypse and instead lose the Antichrist. I've loved that book for like a decade now and if I don't put it on a list of my faves that list would be a lie.
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The King of Attolia. Third in The Queen's Thief series and my favorite one out of all of them. I've always enjoyed Outsider POV in fics. And here is a book that just... proves why. We've got Eugenides and Irene, the Thief and the Queen, and we know them from the two previous books. And adore them. But the story isn't from their POV, it's from the POV of Costis, a Queen's guard who's suddenly gotten assigned to the King. The useless, weak, undeserving king that as far as Costis is concerned doesn't deserve to even kiss the Queen's boots. And it's hilarious to read the story from the eyes of someone who knows so much less than us. And so satisfying, as he begins to understand.
(I recommend the whole series and am personally glad to have read them in the published order but Megan Whalen Turner has stated that she wrote them in a way that allows you to jump in at any point you want).
The Raven Tower. The story is from the viewpoint of a sentient, omniscient rock whose name is Strength and Patience of the Hill and it is the GREATEST THING EVER. The gods are real and must be very careful with their words, because if they speak a lie the reality will alter to make that lie the truth but if the lie is bigger than the power of the god... well. Inspired by Hamlet.
(the book also has a trans man as the main character; the other main character? The sentient rock is the narrator but the largest part of the story focuses on Eolo).
A Natural History of Dragons. The first book from The Memoirs of Lady Trent (and honestly it would probably be more honest to say that every single book from this series fits the category of fave but I'm putting up the first here because this isn't a series where you should skip ahead). The book focuses on the life of Isabella as narrated by her older self. This is the story how a Scirland lady bucked all tradition and became a world renowned expert on the Natural History of Dragons.
(this series has a piece of my heart and always will).
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(and finally, here's some more of my favorite fantasy books that I also adore and would totally ramble about but I got tired of typing).
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I saw your post and I think to ask you for a Yandere! Wild but Imagine this, isekai! Reader doesn't know anything about him or his game, is only a confused person who doesn't know how he got to this place.
Anyway, thanks for read this and sorry for my bad English, My first lenguaje is spanish and I'm not very sure for my English.
Order up!
I genuinely really like this idea so this was a lot of fun to write.
Enjoy!~
Tw: Yandere, obsessive, mentions of murder
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Long past were the days Link would protect anyone but himself. In the aftermath of the calamity, villagers were weary of those who traversed the land and of good reason. Many who did were simply were insane with the thought of leaving their inconsequential little hamlet to see the shattered world. Hatred for fellow man ran rampant, but the crazed look in the eyes of few who’ve lost themselves to Hyrule, Link couldn’t blame people’s cautiousness. Besides, it simply wasn’t within in his best interest being a protector anymore. There wasn’t much to really speak about the issue— Zelda probably would have if she were here, but she wasn’t, so blissful silence stood. He held no love in his heart for the people of Hyrule, much as they had none for him. They turned their backs on him, and so he does similarly to them. But you… you weren’t of Hyrule. So it was only natural to him that you’d be the exception.
Sent to him by strings of blue light, you awoke confused at first. You knew nothing of the lands nor people he spoke of, and eventually reached the conclusion that, you too were out of place in the world that now was. He couldn’t simply leave you at Hateno —they were cautious to accept him, they would never accept you as you are— so, instead, he just had to keep you. He played knight once before, so had hard could it truly be. So while you attuned yourself to your reality —while still ripping away for a chance back home, one he simply couldn’t permit— all he had to do was kill what turned their blades on you. It was rhythmic and mindless. But, as it turns out, He found it oddly more enjoyable to play knight when there was someone to kiss his wounds better after busting ass so you’d be safe. In reality it was you that made it worthwhile, not the work. You’d brush his hair and braid it so it wouldn’t mat, whispering stories of your home. Stories that much resembled myths with how far they were out of his hands. Stories you spoke through tight lips as he smiled. Stories that filled his head long after you stopped speaking. He’s never been much keen on people —or were they never keen on him?— and yet he couldn’t grapple if it was normal to feel this much over your friends.
His devotion to you was rooted deep within him, stiff and unwavering. It wound through his battered heart, patching it whole. As time passed and the roots grew deeper and deeper, lodging themselves more and more, he found his line of work expand. Monsters caused a threat, sure, but that begs the question— what really is a monster? That man who was following you? No way to tell what was going through his head. But it was better you’d be safe rather than him being alive. The mean shopkeep, patronising you for not fitting into a tunic? She’d ought to be nicer now she has no tongue. Homeless man lunging at your ankle? Can’t beg if he has no hands. All in the matter of keeping you safe. Hyrule was a very, very dangerous place. But you were lucky to have the Hero at your bidding. He waited on your call, on your order. Especially since you always made it worth it in ways of food and whatnot. He’d have given you his heart unseasoned if it meant you’d give him a kiss on the cheek. He’d forge the ring if it’d mean you’d marry him. He’d build a house where no man nor monster could find it so you’d live safe. He’d kill ganon a million times over so long as he could fall into your arms afterwards. You must understand how much he loves you. The time and care he’s put in, the blood he’s spilt in your name, he loves you. So much. Too much. Too much to let you go home to your stories. Your home is with him now.
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isan0rt · 8 months
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I feel like I haven't really seen the fe3h fandom talk too much about how clearly Azure Moon is an adaptation of Hamlet. Like not even subtly Hamlet (like, see, he's the lion king, get it, haha, because... It's Hamlet).
Dimitri is obvious; he's the prince whose uncle has become king, due to a conspiracy he's trying to uncover, spurred on by his murdered father's restless ghost. Pursuing this vengeance drives him mad, and he becomes increasingly erratic as vengeance continues to escape him.
Dedue is Horatio; Hamlet's best friend (but one he met more recently than his other friends), always at his side and loyal no matter how far Hamlet falls, but formal with him right up until Hamlet dies for his revenge. Crimson Flower Dedue practically delivers the "Goodnight, sweet prince" line in the game if you defeat him before he can transform himself.
The rest spends a lot of effort making subversions; Rufus is Claudius, and this is played straight in Three Hopes, where Dimitri gets justice before he loses his mind and so he never reaches the depths of despair he does in Azure Moon. But in Three Houses this gets subverted; Rufus is still actually the Claudius, but Dimitri has miscast Edelgard in the role. This also allows Patricia to serve as Gertrude, forcing Dimitri to grapple with whether his (step)mother was complicit in his father's murder and whether she has more loyalty to the murderer than to him. Rufus then shifts into the Polonius role, as it's after his death (allegedly at the hand of Dimitri himself) that everything starts going to shit.
Felix, meanwhile, I think is Laertes (with Glenn and Rodrigue serving as Ophelia and Polonius for him (side side note I personally think Glenn was one of Dimitri's first crushes but that's neither here nor there)). The death of one curdles Laertes's positive childhood friendship feelings towards Hamlet (and Felix towards Dimitri) and then the death of the second fully solidifies Laertes's feeling that Hamlet must be stopped.
In Azure Moon, this gets subverted, in that Dimitri reverses course here, where Hamlet doubles down. As a result, Laertes turns his sword against Hamlet, while Felix returns to a shaky companionship with Dimitri. But crucially, if Felix does get recruited to other routes and turns his sword against Dimitri, he basically cannot have a happy ending - the same way Laertes dies for turning against Hamlet.
I don't have a snappy conclusion or anything (are Ingrid and Sylvain Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? Unclear) but I think it's fascinating.
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