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#i sure typed a lot for someone who said 'i don't care'
pomefioredove · 5 hours
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Hi! This is very very specific, but…I've had a rough start to my day today, kinda relating to the topic of my request…
So I was wondering, would it be alright to request HCs of Jamil, Ruggie, Leona, Floyd and Rollo with a Reader who runs into an emotionally abusive/manipulative parent they haven't seen in a long time? The kind of subtle abuse that's hard to tell (from the inside, at least) is even abuse at all, and makes you doubt yourself a lot. Kinda narcissistic abuse
Kind of a hurt/comfort thing? Like how they'd deal with the bad parent and the Reader opening up a bit about it. Romantic or platonic, either one is good
Feel more than free to ignore if this kind of request isn't your thing: that's totally fine, I understand it's a bit heavy, not to mention very specific, so please do what makes you feel best. I hope you have a good day!
ahhh of course! I relate to this sort of thing a lot (although I don't use terms like narcissistic abuse since abuse is just abuse to me) and I know exactly what you mean. I love hurt/comfort and you're well within my boundaries since the only thing I wouldn't write pertaining to this topic is intimate partner abuse (like with an s/o). so you're perfectly fine! I enjoyed writing this <3
summary: comforting a reader with an abusive parent type of post: short fics characters: jamil, ruggie, leona, floyd, rollo additional info: reader is not specified to be yuu ("shrimpy" is used as a nickname during floyd's part tho), reader is gender neutral, food mention (ruggie's part), actual interaction w the parent happens during leona and rollo's parts, mentions/descriptions of emotional abuse, although reader is kinda vague about it
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Jamil Viper
Jamil knows what it's like to feel stuck.
That's really all he has to know when he recognizes that look on your face.
Perhaps you usually wear your heart on your sleeves, or perhaps you're better at keeping your emotions to yourself, like him, but either way he can tell something is very wrong the second he sees you.
It's a bit strange, isn't it?
Surrounded by people in the cafeteria and yet no one seems to notice the shadow cast over you.
He tries to talk himself out of it for the rest of the day. He has enough on his plate as it is, and it's not his problem. He's Kalim's keeper, not yours.
But that sense of unease doesn't go away.
He drags himself out of bed and somehow finds himself at your door in the dead of night.
And even though it takes you a moment to answer, he can tell you were already awake.
"Here," he says, handing you a warm meal in a container. "I noticed you didn't eat today. We had leftovers."
You don't feel very much like eating, but you accept the gift, anyway. It smells amazing. His cooking always does.
"Thank you," you mumble.
You can't think of anything else to say.
"Are you... well, Kalim sent me to ask if you're feeling unwell," he lies through his teeth.
"I'm fine,"
Another lie, this time of your behalf, which annoys him ever-so-slightly.
"You're clearly not. Are you sick?" the question is vague enough, said in such a way that leaves you with the impression that he wasn't exactly referring to a physical illness.
"I've... had a rough day,"
Jamil is quiet for a moment, thinking to himself. And then: "Do you mind if I come in?"
He's always so careful with his words that such a direct (yet polite) request almost catches you off guard. You step to the side, letting him in your room.
"I don't mean to pry. I know it's not my place," he says, watching you close the door. "But... Kalim is worried. Yes."
You shake your head. "It's fine. I'll get over it,"
It.
What did "it" mean? Surely this couldn't just be a lousy day.
"Did something happen?"
You hesitate.
"Have you ever... ran into someone who made your life miserable? That you thought you moved on from... and it starts to feel like you're stuck in that place all over again?"
Of course. Of course he knows what that feels like.
He has to live through that exact experience every day, without even being able to move on.
But he can't just say that. And this is about you, after all.
"I'm familiar with the feeling. I suppose that's what's ruined your day, then?"
"That's one way to put it," you sigh, sitting at the edge of your bed. "Sometimes it feels like all the progress I've made is just... null. Like I'll never really move on."
He hates how much he's relating to you. How much you're affecting him, now, too.
He follows you to the bed and sits beside you.
"Someday, though, you will. It may feel hopeless now, but... you won't stay stuck forever,"
Unlike me, he thinks.
"How can you be so sure?"
"I can't be. But you don't strike me as someone to give up after hardship,"
Like me.
You're quiet for a moment, seemingly considering what he told you. And then you hug him.
A nice, soft hug. Not abrasive or sudden like the ones Kalim gives. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like.
"Thank you, Jamil,"
He hugs back. "Of course,"
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Ruggie Bucchi
It was almost painful, watching you fumble with your wallet like that.
You couldn't seem to get the proper amount out, shaking like a leaf and apologizing profusely. Sam keeps telling you it's okay, but the line forming behind you is starting to grow restless.
Ruggie included.
He has places to be, after all, and he's got two whole crates of energy drinks to lug back to Savanaclaw.
He has half a mind to ask what the holdup is.
And so, he peers over your shoulder, ready to- oh, no. You're crying.
Damn it. Why can't things ever be easy for him?
He can't even chew someone out for taking up all his precious time without being thrown a curveball. And now he feels bad.
Sigh.
"Hey, I got this," he says, setting his heavy crates down on the counter and flashing a card.
Your eyes widen. "Oh, no, Ruggie, you don't have to-"
"Relax, it's Leona's money, not mine," he offers a grin, ignoring the tears trailing down your face. "He won't even notice it's missing."
The line behind you two breathes a collective sigh of relief (much to your embarrassment) and Ruggie shoots them a glare.
"I... I still can't accept this-" you start, before he quickly shushes you.
"Hey, if you wanna make it up to me, you can help me carry these things. I'll call it even,"
You're silent for a moment as Sam finishes ringing you both up, and then you take a crate. As quiet as ever. It's unnerving.
You're walking back to the Hall of Mirrors when Ruggie breaks that silence by bringing up your purchase. "So, what's up with the afternoon snack? Not that I'm judging- I'm jealous. I skipped lunch, shishishi,"
"Oh, it's nothing," you mutter. "Comfort food, I guess."
The concept of comfort food is extremely appealing to him. "Huh. Long day?"
"Something like that... Why'd you skip lunch?"
Trying to change the conversation topic? Clever. But he'll bite, anyway.
"Leona forgot some of his class stuff, so I had 'ta run and get it. Too bad he forgot where he left it... I was all over campus,"
"Did you find it?"
"Eventually. Or else I'd be busy getting my neck wrung instead of 'bein here with you,"
You nod, and the conversation swiftly dies.
After another awkward beat, he clears his throat. "So you... you wanna talk about it, or something?"
"What?"
"You know, your... your day," he mutters, shrugging. He's desperately trying to remember all of the things his grandma did for him when he was upset as a child. "Talking about it might... make 'ya feel better, y'know?"
You're quiet again, and for a moment Ruggie is worried he said something to offend you.
Then, much to his relief, your voice picks up. "I ran into someone today,"
"What? Like someone was giving you trouble?"
"No, not a student. Someone I don't see very much anymore. Um... I guess it just threw me off,"
He tilts his head to the side. "Why?"
"I don't... well, we don't get along very much. Something about them just makes me feel... very... small. Insignificant,"
You don't ask if he understands what you mean, but he does. Not that he'd ever admit that so openly to you at a time like this, but being small and insignificant is basically his job.
And as much as he likes the perks, he can imagine how rough it would be to deal with that and not get to use a bottomless credit card whenever the opportunity presented itself.
He struggles to respond for a moment.
"That's rough,"
Definitely not the sympathetic response he was going for. At least you don't seem to mind.
"I-I mean, sometimes we have to act small to survive. It's a part of life, 'ya know? But that doesn't mean you are small. Just surviving on its own is an accomplishment," he recovers from his earlier blunder, trying to smile. "You should be proud of yourself, if anything."
"That's..." you say. "That's one way of looking at it."
He sighs. "I'm not expressing myself very well, am I? What I'm trying to say is that you're not small or insignificant, and living life feeling like you are is a survival tactic at best,"
The both of you stop in front of Savanaclaw, and he offers another grin.
"And if you ever wanna talk about this stuff... well, I'm around... And you can come inside now, if you want. I could definitely find more stuff to carry!"
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Leona Kingscholar
Leona Kingscholar is very, very much enjoying parent weekend alone, thank you.
Of course his folks don't want to attend a school event for their disappointment of a second son. Why would they care? And on Cheka's birthday weekend, no less...
But that didn't bother him. Not at all.
As long as he slept through the weekend without being bothered by any happy-go-lucky nuclear family units, he'd live.
That plan lasts about five hours.
"You'd be better off doing something more useful with your time. Sports, or science, or... something that might help your future. But if you're so sure... I suppose it's better to cut our losses now than put any more faith in you. You just can never decide, can you?"
That voice. Unfamiliar, but drawling, laced with poison. Aggravating enough to stir Leona from his nap in the botanical gardens.
And it's getting closer.
"I just don't understand. Why get accepted into one of the most prestigious schools in the world just to spend your time goofing off?" a long sigh. "But as long as you're happy... we just want what's best for you."
Leona grumbles, turning over and trying to drift back to sleep.
"I'm trying,"
This voice is different. No- he recognizes it. It's yours.
"Are you? You know I know what's best for you, right?"
Sevens. This is your parent speaking to you? No wonder you've been acting all jittery lately.
He sits up, giving up on his nap, and continues listening in.
"I know," you say. "I really am trying, though."
"Did I say you weren't? Don't speak for me,"
This is getting ugly. Leona stands, stepping out of the shrubbery and clearing his throat behind the two of you.
You're the first to turn. "Oh- Leona! Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb you,"
"You're fine," he snaps, sharp eyes turning to your parent beside you. "Who's this, then?"
"This is-"
"Their parent," they go ahead and introduce themselves, cutting you off as if you weren't speaking at all. Like you're a piece of furniture hanging in the background. He's not a fan.
"Really? From the way you were talking, I would have guessed that you were their coach. Or boss,"
Your eyes dart between the two. "Leona-"
"You're fine," he reaffirms. "I was just looking for you, anyway. We really have to talk."
You pause, raising an eyebrow. He? Wants to talk to you? Now?
"Is it important?" your parent asks. The question is directed at you, although he answers.
"Very. I was just coming to ask you, very politely, I might add, to reconsider my offer,"
"Your... offer...?"
Your parent looks down at you. "What's he talking about?"
"Can't blame you for forgetting. I'm sure you're busy with all your... school... things. But I do have to ask you to rejoin the spelldrive club. We're in shambles without you,"
He gives you a certain look, one that clearly reads "Go along with it."
Leona Kingscholar offering an olive branch to someone is a rare occurrence. So you take it.
"Oh! Right, I have been busy with school. I've been meaning to get back to you..."
Your parent looks between the two of you with just the faintest hint of confusion, and then frustration. "You've been playing spelldrive? When was I going to hear about this?"
"They haven't been playing with us," Leona says, a small smirk already forming. "They're the team manager. They're way too smart to be out on the field- no, they're running the team, they're organizing everything, their strategy is like nothing we've ever seen. If only they were in Savanaclaw, we might have a chance at winning one of these years."
"Uhhh..." you start, looking between your parent and the oddly friendly and receptive clone that's replaced Leona. "...Yeah, right."
"Now, if you'll excuse us, we really have to discuss official club matters," he says, shooing away your parent until they eventually give in and leave.
As soon as they're out the door, you turn to him. "What w-"
"Are you alright?" he asks.
Stunned would be an understatement. "I'm fine,"
"Really? Cause you're looking at me like a gazelle caught in headlights,"
"I-I guess it's just been hard... having them here,"
Leona nods, closing his eyes as he thinks to himself. Then, he sighs.
"Yeah. I get that. Come on, then,"
You raise an eyebrow as he starts off in the opposite direction. "What? Where are we going?"
"Somewhere quiet and warm to nap. Being around that person sucked all the energy right out of me, I can't imagine how exhausted you feel,"
He turns to look over his shoulder with a smile. "With any luck, we'll avoid them for the rest of the weekend,"
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Floyd Leech
Of course, he can tell something's up right away.
Well... maybe it takes him a little while to tune into the conversation, but once he does, he notices you've been... awfully quiet throughout it.
His favorite little shrimpy? All sad? Moping around like a kicked puppy?
Now this catches his attention.
"Bored?" he asks. It's his first guess.
"Hm?" you ask, looking back at him. "No, I'm fine."
"But you're not,"
"Okay, I'm a little distracted,"
Now that, he can understand. But there's still something very off about the whole thing that he can't quite put his finger on.
"You're not telling me something," he states, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms.
You raise an eyebrow. "...And?"
"And I wanna know. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me,"
Your thought process is probably ranging somewhere between "oh, no," and "oh NO," by now.
"I sweaaar, it's nothing," you insist. "I just had a bad day, okay?"
"Why?"
There's no turning back now. He's invested, and until he loses interest, you're stuck here.
"It was... just... long. Can I go now? I have things to do,"
He frowns, and stands, and then puts you in a headlock. "Alright, where're we 'goin?"
"FLOYD!"
He drags you along with him, remembering not to be too rough as he takes you from place to place on his dailies. You begrudgingly learn to accept it.
When you walk back into the Mostro Lounge, Azul and Jade don't even bat an eye.
"You're thirty minutes late- ah, why do I bother?" Azul says, rifling through a stack of papers on his desk. He only looks up when he catches a glimpse of you. "Oh. Hello, there."
You wave half-heartedly. "Can I get some help?"
"Floyd. What is the meaning of this?" he asks.
Floyd pouts. "There's 'somethin wrong with them and they won't tell me what,"
"Are they ill?"
You lower your eyes at the two as they speak like you're not even there. "Hello?"
"Nah, they feel fine. They're all mopey, though,"
Azul hums to himself, lost in thought. And then: "Well, figure out what it is, and get to work, if you please,"
"Azul!" you shout. He ignores you.
Floyd drags you back outside the office and sits down with you at one of the tables, waving to concerned lounge-goers as they pass by.
"Now will you tell me?"
"Geez, alright, alright. I give up, you win," you sigh. "I... well, my parent was here earlier. At school. And we talked, and they... said some not-very-nice things to me. That's why I've been upset, okay?"
Floyd's smile immediately drops. "I win? But that's not a very good prize,"
"Tell me about it,"
"Why would anyone be mean to you, anyway? You're the best shrimpy I know!"
You avert your eyes. "It wasn't... mean... per se. Just... not nice,"
"Sounds mean to me," he mutters. "I don't get it."
"Well, sometimes these things just... don't make sense. It's my fault, anyway," you sigh.
His gaze sharpens at that. "'An who told you that? You didn't do anything! I'm starting to really dislike this parent of yours,"
His sudden mood swing doesn't phase you, but it does lift your spirits... just the tiniest bit. Even if you wouldn't admit that to yourself. "Hey, it's fine. I'm over it,"
"You sure you don't want me to squeeze 'em?"
"Heh. No, that's okay. I would like you to let me go, though,"
His eyes widen at the sudden realization he still has you in a headlock and he quickly releases you.
You sit up, stretching and rubbing the back of your neck. "Thanks,"
"My arm was starting to hurt, anyway..." he thinks for a moment, looking back to the office door. "Ya think I can use that to get out of working? I wanna spend more quality time with my favorite shrimpy. You could use it!"
You look to the door and shrug. "Hey, worth a try, right?"
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Rollo Flamme
Out of all the things to ruin the day, of course it had to be your parent.
The disappointment between the two of you was palpable. And even though it was only a brief encounter, it was enough to sour the rest of the afternoon for the both of you.
The first thing Rollo noticed, of course, was the manner in which they carried themselves. As an authoritative, important figure, puffing out their chest and towering over you. What gave them the right...?
They were not a leader, nor a public figure, nor anyone of interest, if your earlier mentions of them gave him any idea. Nothing but an adult who spoke to the both of you as if you were tiny children.
He loathed being talked down to.
Perhaps he should have said something sooner than he did, and perhaps he should have said something more than the interruption he used to excuse you from the conversation.
And now you're just quiet.
"Are you well?" he asks, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.
You shrug.
"I apologize for not speaking on your behalf sooner. I did not want to be rude,"
No response at all.
Your silence was driving him mad. He couldn't get a good read on what you were feeling when you kept looking away like that.
"If you'd like to return home early, I would understand and escort you promptly,"
"No,"
A response. Not a good one, but a response nonetheless.
"May I ask you a question?" though he doesn't really wait for your permission to go on. "Why do they speak to you like that?"
That comment seems to jolt you, and you turn to look at him with wide eyes. "What? Speak to me like what?"
He struggles for the right words.
How could he describe it? It was so... odd. The words they spoke to you didn't sound cruel, but there was something sinister lurking beneath them. And not even in the typical "polite for the sake of it" sense.
Each response they gave was laced with a sort of venom that seemed to sting you. You had grown quiet, distant, as if you weren't really there at all.
Of course he was familiar with such tactics. He could weave his own words with ease. But you had done nothing wrong- you were guiltless. Why were you being punished?
He couldn't quite come up with an answer.
"You seemed uncomfortable," he finally says, looking away again. "I apologize for such an experience happening to you under my watch."
"It's not your fault,"
"It certainly isn't. And it's not yours, either,"
A blanket of silence falls over the two of you until he speaks again.
"You have nothing to feel bad about," he reaffirms.
Another pause.
"And I don't mean to intrude. But if you ever need my assistance, you know where to find me,"
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berrymeter · 2 years
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feel the need to make it clear once again that i have better shit to worry about than deciding who gets to be lgbt. if your internet presence is nothing but focus on keeping ‘the ones who are NOT lgbt’ out you’re kinda pathetic & should log off probably bc things don’t work like that anyway? get a hobby or something
#perth.txt#literally dont care what labels someone uses. again better shit to worry about#like wow you did such epic activism by traumatising a bunch of aspecs on tumblr dot com#really youre such a hero & we should all applaud you for this. clearly#note the sarcasm. im aspec#im also 'quirky mogai' technically so#'wahhh but microidentities are harmful' literally did not ask & your reasoning is shit#do u really think there are enough ppl using microlabels for it to become a scale for The Lgbt Community#in the sense of being united & pushing for change through that unity#& also do u think the ppl pushing for change know each other's labels by heart???#like do u think this is relevant at all???#microlabels are for things on the individual level. you're all fucking idiots 😭#yeah im sure ppl IDing as faegender is harming lgbt rights or what fucking ever#damn forgot some words. *a large scale problem for the lgbt community#i sure typed a lot for someone who said 'i don't care'#but the thing is i don't care what ppl do w their own labels#i sure do care that other ppl are being cunts abt it though#like its literally not doing anything to you shuuuut the fuck up my god!! my gid#this is a queued post but i have no clue where my queue posts anymore so ull get it when u get it#i dont even identify w the mogai acronym at all tbh. but my pronouns aren't 'normal'#he/him may be listed in my bio if u clicked that one link u know theres more than that#i would absolutely get grouped under that lol
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benveydraws · 8 months
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i can't love you in this skin
#twittering birds never fly#saezuru tori wa habatakanai#suggestive#<- jic#interpret this as you will#there's A Lot about gender and yashiro's relationship with gender and heteronormativity especially in relation to doumeki#he asks him what type of Women he likes. they only watch m/f stuff together. “i wonder if he's gentle with women”.#the anger and disappointment when he realizes that doumeki is actually attracted to him#unless he's remembering something that happened he only fantasises about doumeki with a woman and not with himself#(same was with kageyama iirc)#except for that kiss in the elevator but that's a whole other conversation. and even then there was a woman present#he even tells kamiya that doumeki is basically straight and he's just a rare exception#yashiro's is so so desperate to push doumeki towards a “normal” life#aka not in yakuza. not with him. in a normal (straight) relationship#just. a lot of self hatred and internalized homophobia#all that being said. i think regardless of the author's intent reading yashiro as a closeted trans person is also valid#the “i could never afford myself to reflect on this and i also don't care enough about living to even bother atp” type of closet#would it contradict some of the things yashiro says? sure. but he contradicts himself all the time#am i projecting as someone who will live and die in the closet? sure#i think it's interesting that the only person who genuinely asks him about gender is ryuzaki#in the same conversation where he asks him about falling in love#and yashiro's response is basically “it wouldn't change much” and “i'm fine with what i have”. are you tho#there's a lot i can say about yashiro and aoi and yashiro and ryuzaki's girlfriend but i can't articulate it well rn so whatever#the way dumeki's lie about dating a woman affects yashiro is also interesting regardless of which interpretation you go with#which is also why i'm using post time-skip for the art. the topic keeps popping up#but yeah uh. take it as you will i just have a lot of feelings about. This#art tag
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selvepnea · 5 months
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Thinking about. That one post about art. And how it's never good enough. Since you're the one that made it. And how. It might relate to how I view myself?
#Sel talks#Like. Do I like the idea of a masculine body because I think it will make me less me?#I keep thinking about a line from “in stars and time” talking about. How maybe they changed because it was easier than learning to love#Himself as he was.#Keep thinking about something my therapist said last session. About how he would hope there's more restriction around accessing trans#Health-care than there is about getting a medical Marijuana card#And even if it comes from a place of good intent; is still a harmful idea?#I keep forgetting how much importance cis people put on transitioning. And it's just. Not? For me?#My body is just another form of expression for me to form and play with. And I feel like it might be hard to try and get someone who's#Not thought a lot about gender to understand.#I don't really want to lable it as “transitioning” either. My isat brainrot is wanting me to call it “Changing”; bit I'm not sure if that's#Quite accurate either. Like. We don't have a word for playing with different styles of clothes? Why do I need one for messing w other types#Of presentation?#Sigh...#I'm soooo tempted to just go on t and not do anything else. No name change. No sex change. And not tell anyone.#Why do I need to take into consideration how much my decision weighs on other people?#I feel like I've gotten too many reminders that “tomorrow's not promised” or “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives”#“Don't live wondering” or whatever that old lesbian slogan was. “We're all going to die so who cares if it's a waste”? Some will wood song#I'm listening to. I just.#Why am I waiting for the perfect opertunity to transition? Or change or whatever.#I've always considered my want to masculinise as me taking “be the change you want to see” either too far or too literally#I want to see men in dresses!! And if no one else around here is going to do it I guess that falls on me!#Why must I follow everyone else's path to t?? I want to make my own!#Grrr barkbark#I feel so underequiped to change the world; why must I do it?? Can't it just change for me??
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churipu · 4 months
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hiii !!
this is my first time requesting smth so sorry if I’m not making sense !! 😭
can u do jjk boys / men with short reader ?? can u also include megumi ?
thank you !
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SHORTIE — JJK MEN + SHORT PARTNER
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featuring. megumi fushiguro, toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, nanami kento x reader
warnings. none
note. hii jelly!! don't worry love you're doing great, and thank you for requesting! sorry it took so long :( i hope you like this. also, guys, omg you don't know how thankful i am to reach 500+ followers in a short amount of time, i'm going to sob. i love you all so much <;33
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MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. i feel like he doesn't mind at all, he did say his type was someone with an unshakable character — so he could obviously care less about your height. in fact, he'd be pretty much delighted, he finds you adorable (but let's face it, he'd never tell that to your face).
it sounds cliche but megumi would be the one to help you get things from higher places, and when he can't reach them either — he'd carry you up his shoulders to let you grab it. if there's one other thing that he loves besides your personality, it's your height.
so when anyone tries to bring you down with that, megumi would definitely be up to defend you; saying there's no problem with your height and how much he likes that about you.
"what're you talking about? they look just fine." megumi mutters out, scratching the back of his head, his eyes averting to the side.
"so what if they're short? why does that matter?"
"'t doesn't matter what you think, i like them, so what?"
just, he's always going to defend you about your height so the next second you feel conscious about it — he's going to ask you if anyone said anything, and if you said yes (he'll make sure to find out who it is behind your back), and if you said no (he'll tell you how much he loves you, your height, and everything about you).
TOJI FUSHIGURO. big tease, will definitely make fun of your for it, he calls you "shortie", it's just his default nickname for you. the first time het met you, he's just decided that he'd go with the name "shortie" instead of "y/n".
he's going to ask you to grab something for him, and when you realized it's something out of reach, it's just his act to make fun of you, "hey shortie, grab my favorite mug for me."
and when you opened the mug cabinet, his mug is just sitting on the very top — you looked at him with a defeated smile and let out a laugh. he would always end up taking it for himself, patting your head on the way with a satisfied laughter.
though sometimes, you feel a little self-conscious when he makes fun of your for your height, and toji would caught up to it almost immediately.
"what's up, shortie? why'd you look so sad, hm?"
"am i really that short?" he cocked his eyebrow and hummed out, signaling that it's a yes indeed. but he scoffs after.
"so what?" he mutters out, laying his hand on top of your head before walking away, don't worry it's just his way of telling you he loves you. you'd feel so much better after that.
that's why he kept calling you shortie, no matter how self-conscious you get, he ends up encouraging you about it. so he never bothered stopping (and he never thought of stopping the nickname).
GOJO SATORU. like toji, i feel like gojo is a big tease as well. he absolutely loves your height, he's a tall man, and having such a short partner is a fun thing to him. he loves making fun of you (in a cute way) — and so you didn't mind it at all, since you know that gojo didn't mean it literally.
"oh, i didn't see you there! you're so small i could just step on you." he marvels out with a toothy grin before scooping you into his embrace.
with that being said, gojo absolutely loves carrying you on top of his shoulders, and when he has the chance to, he won't waste the chance to ask you how it feels like to be so much taller. you always comply with his jokes as well so he loves teasing you a lot, cause you give out reactions to him.
"how does it feel to be tall?" he asks you, hand gripping on your hips, holding you in place so you wouldn't fall.
"not bad, definitely could feel the heat up here, must suck being so close to the sun," you replied back, patting his head gently and gojo chuckles, letting you down.
being short isn't so bad when you have a giant to protect you from the heat, he's like your personal umbrella. so, you weren't going to complain about it at all.
also, gojo wouldn't let you talk bad about your height. he's your number one fan, don't tell me otherwise.
NANAMI KENTO. he absolutely adores you. he loves how his shirt looks big on you, he loves how small you look next to him, he loves how you always use him as a shield for anything, he just loves you.
most of the time, you'd feel a little bad about your height — but nanami would tell you how it doesn't matter and how much he loves you. he has his ways of showing his love to you and your height. nanami would sometimes use you as a place to rest his arm, at first you thought he was making fun of you, but he wasn't and i guess it's now just a normal thing for the both of you.
nanami loves tucking your head under his chin when you're both relaxing, watching a movie, cooking, anything — he just loves pulling you close and laying his chin on top of your head. he tells you it feels comfortable, and so that has also been a normal thing for the both of you.
having a small height means teeny tiny body parts. your hands, especially; he's in love with how small they are compared to his. how your hand always tugs on his shirt when you're out, he's hand would engulf yours completely, and he makes sure you're well taken care of when you both go out (it would be hard if you'd get lost in the crowd).
one thing he adores is a habit that you always do when he's busy. of course you wanted attention, and when you wanted his attention — he'd find you tugging at his shirt, his suit, his hand with your own while muttering out a, "boyfriend, boyfriend".
he's just so in love with you and everything about you, and with that, you've slowly come to love your own height. thanks to him.
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !
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cy-cyborg · 8 months
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Writing and drawing amputee characters: Not every amputee wears prosthetics (and that's ok)
Not every amputee wears prosthetics, and not doing so is not a sign that they've "given up".
It's a bit of a trope that I've noticed that when an amputee, leg amputees in particular, don't wear prosthetics in media its often used as a sign that they've given up hope/stopped trying/ are depressed etc. If/when they start feeling better, they'll start wearing their prosthetics again, usually accompanied by triumphant or inspiring music (if it's a movie). The most famous example of this is in Forest Gump, Where Dan spends most of the movie after loosing his legs wishing he'd died instead. He does eventually come around, and him finally moving from his wheelchair to prosthetics is meant to highlight this.
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The thing is, it's not that it's unrealistic - in fact my last major mental health spiral was started because one of my prosthetics was being a shit and wouldn't go on properly, despite fitting perfectly at the prosthetist's the day before. I'm not going to use my legs when I'm not in a good headspace, but the problem is, this is the only time non-prosthetic using amputees ever get representation: to show how sad they are. Even if that's not what the creator/writer necessarily intended, audiences will often make that assumption on their own unless you're very careful and intentional about how you frame it, because it's what existing media has taught them to expect.
But there are lots of reasons why someone might not use prosthetics:
they might not need them: this is more common in arm amputees because of how difficult it can be to use arm prosthetic, especially above-elbow prosthetics. Most folks learn how to get on without them pretty well. In fact, most of the arm amputees I know don't have prosthetics, or only have them for specific tasks (e.g. I knew a girl who had a prosthetic hand made specifically for rowing, but that's all she used it for).
Other mobility aids just work better for them: for me, I'm faster, more manoeuvrable and can be out for longer when I'm in my wheelchair than I ever could on my prosthetics. Youtube/tik tok creator Josh Sundquist has said the same thing about his crutches, he just feels better using them than his prosthetic. This isn't the case for everyone of course, but it is for some of us. Especially people with above-knee prosthetics, in my experience.
Other disabilities make them harder to use: Some people are unable to use prosthetics due to other disabilities, or even other amputations. Yeah, as it turns out, a lot of prosthetics are only really designed for single-limb amputees. While they're usable for multi-limb amps, they're much harder to use or they might not be able to access every feature. For example, the prosthetic knee I have has the ability to monitor the walk cycle of the other leg and match it as close as possible - but that only works if you have a full leg on the other side. Likewise, my nan didn't like using her prosthetic, as she had limited movement in her shoulders that meant she physically couldn't move her arms in the right way to get her leg on without help.
Prosthetics are expensive in some parts of the world: not everyone can afford a prosthetic. My left prosthetic costs around $5,000 Australian dollars, but my right one (the above knee) cost $125,000AUD. It's the most expensive thing I own that I only got because my country pays for medical equipment for disabled folks. Some places subsidise the cost, but paying 10% of $125,000 is still $12,500. Then in some places, if you don't have insurance, you have to pay for that all by yourself. Even with insurance you still have to pay some of it depending on your cover. Arm prosthetics are even more expensive. Sure, both arms and legs do have cheaper options available, but they're often extremely difficult to use. You get what you pay for.
they aren't suitable for every type of environment: Prosthetics can be finicky and modern ones can be kind of sensitive to the elements. My home town was in a coastal lowland - this means lots of beaches and lots of swamp filled with salty/brackish water. The metals used in prosthetics don't hold up well in those conditions, and so they would rust quicker, I needed to clean them more, I needed to empty sand out of my foot ALL THE TIME (there always seemed to be more. It was like a bag of holding but it was just sand). Some prosthetics can't get wet at all. There were a few amputees who moved to the area when I was older who just didn't bother lol. It wasn't worth the extra effort needed for the maintenance.
People have allergies to the prosthetic material: This is less of a problem in the modern day, but some people are allergic to the materials their prosthetics are made from. You can usually find an alternative but depending on the type of allergy, some people are allergic to the replacements too.
Some people just don't like them.
There's nothing wrong with choosing to go without a prosthetic. There's nothing wrong with deciding they aren't for you. It doesn't make you a failure or sad or anything else. Using or not using prosthetics is a completely morally neutral thing.
Please, if you're writing amputees, consider if a prosthetic really is the best mobility aid for your character and consider having your characters go without, or at least mix it up a bit.
For example, Xari, one of the main characters in my comic, uses prosthetics unsupported and with crutches, and uses a wheelchair. They alternate between them throughout the story.
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athena5898 · 6 months
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I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.
It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)
It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).
I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.
And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.
Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.
- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.
- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.
-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission
-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.
- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.
- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.
- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.
I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.
The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.
These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)
I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.
Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.
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rash0roar · 2 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 🩷 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Summary : Lucifer and reader get invited to Ozzie and Fizz's wedding, and Lucifer has a surprise planned at the end
★ type : fluff
★ warnings : a bit of suggestive language <3
a / n : I saw two Twitter posts and the idea came fast tbh ; sorry if there are some grammar mistakes I forgot to fix ; this is my first story and post so I hope you'll enjoy <3
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"Lucifer! Lucifer!" The sound of excited steps echoed through the lonely halls of Lucifer's castle. You excitedly barged into his rubber duck filled office holding an envelope. "Woah Woah love! What's the rush? " Stopping in front of your boyfriend you smiled, jumping up and down. "Lucifer you won't believe what we got!" You handed him the paper, that has been opened once, smiling and gesturing him to open it again. Lucifer looked at the envelope closely. " 's from Ozzie? You nodded. "Mhm!"
Opening the envelope, Lucifer took out the latter and it's- , an invitation? "An invitation? To what?" Lucifer looked at you seeing your smile became wider and your eyes were sparkling. Lucifer looked at the invitation reading it closely. You quietly laughed at his eyes becoming wider by the second. "Ozzie getting married?!? Well, that's certainly something I'd never thought I'd catch in this life. Hm, seems like the wedding is next week" "I know! Isn't it great! It's gonna be so fun- oh, I forgot, are you ok with getting out love? If it's too much we can stay home, I don't mind" "Are you kidding? This is the first time I'm actually excited in my boots for something! Besides it's Ozzie. He's, well, he's my best friend, kind of. So I can at least go to his wedding as a sorry for not talking to him as we usually would do" You smiled at your lover sweetly. "That's so sweet of you Lucifer" You said while kissing his forehead. At that he smiled. "Well, I guess someone should go search for some matching outfits for us don't you think?" His face became a tint of pink at the sight of your eyes lighting up. "Matching?! Really?! You bet! Let your girlfriend take care of this" You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning around and running to another room.
Lucifer made sure you were far enough before he slowly closed his office doors. "Oh my golly, oh my golly! Ok Lucifer calm down, you already discussed this with Ozzie, it's gonna be ok you definitely got this don't panic. . . OH WHO AM I KIDDING I'M PANICKING RIGHT NOW!!" He took his phone and started texting Ozzie, searching for some sort of support from his friend. While walking in circles around his office, Lucifer looked at the little box hidden well from your eyes in his office.
The week has passed quite fast, you and Lucifer were getting more and more excited for what was about to come. In the morning of the wedding, you were in yours and Lucifer's room, preparing the outfits you were about to wear. In the other room Lucifer was tapping his feet on the floor nervously, thinking about the surprise he had planned for you. He remembers well when he went to Ozzie for support, telling him his idea. The sin of Lust was more than happy to help, suggesting Lucifer to wait for the right time. Never in a million years did Lucifer think that, Ozzie would text him and say that his wedding is the perfect time. He found it weird. He felt bad too. His friend was good at heart, but a part of him felt bad for accepting his idea despite the fact that this was not about him, but his friend. "Lucifer! Come on we have to get ready! No time to waste!" He laughed at the sound of your voice, forgetting his thoughts from earlier.
As he entered the room, he saw you searching through your drawers. You lifted your head and looked at him. "There you are! Come on Lu, get dressed will you? We have a lot to do besides getting dressed" "And that would be what, my love?" "Well your hair and makeup of course! You're the king of hell, you need to look nice remember that" Lucifer laughed, this was one of his favorite ways of you showing you loved him. Always making sure he looks good when he goes out. He loved that about you. Lucifer went to pick up his outfit. He saw you choose two suits, he remembered you mentioning that dresses weren't for you. He would always disagree. Both of the suits were red with gold and just a bit of white, since white is worn by the married couple. The red suit didn't look too different from his regular one, just that he would have to wear a white and gold shirt beneath it. Your suit, was also a red one with a long tailcoat, Lucifer thought that it's so that he could represent the back of a dress, as the back of his suit was straight, yours had a wavey back. The fact that Lucifer would finally wear matching outfits with you brought a red color to his cheeks.
After a while, you both were ready to go. Lucifer was missing his hat ( also complaining about it ) as you had your hair styled in an "elf way" you said to Lucifer after you did it ( Lucifer never understood your movie references ), tied in a very nice pin with roses and an apple ( gift from the king himself ). "I guess you're ready no?" You nodded taking his hand as the Lucifer tapped the cane on the ground and teleported to you at the location of the wedding. And oh my were you stunned.
You never knew hell had a forest before. Well, you've figured the wedding will be in a hidden place. Lucifer told you once the fact that not many people knew about Ozzie's relationship with an imp, he has told you that the sins and royal princes were looked down on if that were to happen. That made you question if you were enough for him lots of times. "My my is that Lulu I see?!?" Looking in front of you, you saw a yellow fox with wings with a neon light to replace her stomach. "Boy I haven't seen you in years! How 've ya been?" Lucifer smiled at her. "Well, I couldn't miss this even if I wanted right? Oh! Right! Ahem. Love, this is Beelzebub! I've told you a lot about her remember?" "OMG! Is this your new girlfriend? Girl you are adorable! Call me Bee, you're like, my bestie now. What's your name?" "I'm Y/N! It's nice to finally meet you Bee!" "You're absolutely gorgeous, I like love your voice! You should definitely come to my parties one time!" You laughed. If she was like that, you couldn't wait to meet Asmodeus for the first time. "Now you two lovebirds come on! You both have to meet the crew!" You looked at Lucifer. He was nervous, he never was the kind to be around people. You put a reassuring hand on his shoulder smiling. He smiled back. "I'll be fine, don't worry my duckling" He smiled and took your hand following Bee inside. The inside was very pretty too. You haven't been to a wedding since forever, you enjoyed it. It wasn't a surprise there weren't many people. Bee was gesturing you and Lucifer to come, you've both gone to her, as you were walking, you saw two other hellhounds on both of Bee's sides, a group of little imps and two goetias. You had to remind Lucifer about the beauty of hell after this. "Ok now you guys, this right here, is my boyfriend Vortex, and this here is my favorite person ever Loona! You'll love them once you get to know them!" "Hello you two! Nice to meet you!" You said while Lucifer nodded and gave a small wave. "Nice to meet ya too your majesty" "Yo" Your majesty? Well that's new. "No ,uh, please don't call me that! Me and Lucifer we are not engaged so I'm not really the queen" You couldn't miss how all three smiled at each other after you've said that. Did you say something funny? While looking at them you failed to notice Lucifer's red face next to you.
"So you're the king of hell's new bitch huh? I'm Blitz! And I'm the leader of the imp! And these two lovebirds behind me are M&M. Actually, Millie and Moxxie. And that there is my lovely daughter Loona! Hi Loonie!" "ADOPTED" "Lucifer. Lucifer they are adorable what the actual hell" "You think so? Well, I can't argue with you I guess"
You couldn't keep it, the little imps were absolutely adorable! The gotia demons too! Stolas and his daughter Octavia were very nice , you found it relaxing to stay around them. Although, you've been meaning to ask if Stolas is ok, he always seemed to be tired and sad.
The rest of the night was absolutely amazing! You swore you'd never forget it. Not even the fact that you and Lucifer were asked to be the man and lady of honor in the last moment! Looking at the couple, you were thinking, what if you and Lucifer were in that place? Here in hell, with these people at your wedding. You wished it could be you indeed, but, you were happy for them. These kind of things weren't too common in hell, heck they don't happen at all actually! Seeing this, you hoped Lucifer would see the good part in hell.
As the night went on you noticed that everyone started on getting more and more excited, and Lucifer, more and more...frustrated..? Why was that? What's happening? Is there something you should know? "Alright everyone! Listen up!" You looked in the direction of where the voice was coming from, it was Fizz's. "I'm throwing this flower bouquet, so let's see who's the lucky bitch that'll catch it!" ONE - everyone was getting ready - TWO - everyone's on their position - THREE!! GO!!!" "I got it I got" "Nuh uh! I do! " As Blitz and Bee were fighting, forgetting about the bouquet, you watched it carefully, closer, closer, and - "I GOT IT I GOT IT! HAH! YES! I GO - why is everyone looking at me like that?" You turned back at everyone, noticing everyone looked at you smiling softly, or, at something.. behind you? "Why is everyone - ohmydear" Turning behind you, you saw him. Lucifer was behind you, on one knee, looking at you with a soft smile. "Y/N, I know this is really sudden but, you've been beside me for a long time, you've helped me through my problems, supported me and took care of me. I love you so much, I really really do, so will you please...make me the happiest man in hell and, marry me?" You could see it, he was crying, as he opened the box that revealed a beautiful golden ring, you looked at him with your hands over your mouth, you could not, not cry. You nodded, sobbing loudly running in Lucifer's arms and hugging him tightly. "Yes, a hundred times yes, Lucifer I love you!" "Me too, me too my love. You have no idea" He took your face in his arms and kissed you. "LET'S FUCKING GO SHE SAID YES YEEAAAHHHH!!" EVERYONE OPEN THE CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES!" You and Lucifer laughed at the sight of Bee, Blitz, Ozzie and Fizz laughing and screaming at the news. Millie, Moxxie and Stolas were beyond happy, Millie hugged you while Stolas was staying besides Lucifer, congratulating him for it.
You all knew?" "Well yeah! We all helped him actually, man was he a big ball of stress and anxiety. But hey he did it! Yes! Finally! Man I'm SO HAPPY! Let me be your lady of honor pleeeeaaase?" "Of course Bee!" "Sooo, when's the wedding?" You looked at Lucifer"Yeah, when is it?" "How about next month? YOU'RE ALL INVITED NO ONE ELSE THOUGH! "YYEAAAAHHHHH"
They were happy, all of them. You squished Lucifer's hand. "Thank you, Lucifer" "No love, I thank you, I think the wedding will go well, don't you?" "Yeah - you said watching everyone party like at the beginning of the party - yeah me too" You turned at Lucifer and kissed him lovingly as he returned it.
Once the party ended, you both went to bed and cuddled next to each other. And as Lucifer whispered a love you, after you did the same you both fell asleep, the moonlight reflecting in you and Lucifer's golden rings.
a / n : let me know if you guys want a part 2 with Lucifer and the reader's wedding! <3
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caamboys · 3 months
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Future Spouse
i hope you guys like this reading <3 plsss give me feedback !! and more recommendations !! taking requests <333
pick a pile
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PILE ONE
channeled song
" wish you were sober " - conan gray
" save me til the party is over, kiss me in the seat of your rover, real sweet but I wish you were sober "
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THEIR PERSONALITY -
the emperor, six of swords, six of pentacles, justice, the well
This is a very dominant , overprotective person. They have a powerful aura and seem very strong minded and authoritative. People know not to fuck with this individual. This is the type to defend you against anybody, who would literally fight for your honor. I see a very masculine individual with a very no bullshit attitude. I think this person has experienced karma firsthand so they take it very seriously. I feel like your future spouse has abandoned bad habits and vices and transformed the way they live for the better. They've had a bit of a toxic past they've outgrown and integrated into their journey. I wouldn't be surprised if your significant other broke some hearts. I see them abandoning their old habits after facing karma and retribution. This is someone who believes in change and growth and will encourage it in you as well. I see them in a stern yet gentle energy to encourage you to live better, eat better or become healthier. They're veryyy charitable, and most people would not realize this because of how intimidating they are. They're actually very giving and compassionate to others. I think something about them is intimidating and strong & that presents them differently than who they truthfully are. I believe this is a new person, someone you haven't met yet.
HOW THEY TREAT YOU
channeled song - " flawless by Beyoncé"
king of pentacles, judgement
Remember how I said they'd encourage you to be better?? This person is also going to raise your self confidence majorly. I see them constantly praising you, hyping you up and complimenting you. They love to praise your physical appearance, and go out out of their way to raise your spirits around them. They want to see you elevate and will do anything to make sure you do. With the king of pentacles, they're gonna spend A LOT of money on you 😘 I'm getting gift-giving and words of affirmation as their love languages. This is a financially abundant person, & I see them wanting to provide for you financially to prove themselves to you, to show you they can take care of you.
PILE TWO
channeled song
" NASA " ariana grande
" you know I'ma Star, space, I'ma need space, "
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PERSONALITY
the star, the well, nine of wands, the magician, the emperor, eight of swords, ace of wands, six of pentacles, three of pentacles
I think this is a very popular extroverted individual. They're very well-known. I see a lot of people admiring your future spouse and putting them on pedestals. Your person may be very gifted either physically or with a certain skill. With the Magician and the Star card I see them being magnetic, and constantly praised. Lots of people favor this person. I get the sense that they're in a natural position of power. Despite this they work very well with others and don't mind collaboration. They go out of their way to empower others.
HOW THEY TREAT YOU
"high priestess, four of swords, the empress"
Channeled song - "Good life by G-easy ft Kehlani"
" We put the good in the good life, we put the bad in the past now we alright "
I think this person knows how to read your body language, expression and moods very well. They're very intuitive and wise when it comes to the way you're feeling. They learn this specifically to cater to you. I see a feminine energy here being taken care of and nurtured. They're very emotionally intune with you. I think their love language is slowing down their fast-paced lives to simply rest and relax with you. Quality time is definitely one of their love languages along with praise. With the 'Empress' here I see them thinking of you highly, someone they would be blessed to be with. They think you both are powerful and will go together well. If you're shy, they will inspire you to step into a powerful and confident energy. I see them reminding you of how highly they think of you and how well you go together. They will encourage you to be more comfortable being in the spotlight. You will be a power couple here with the 'Emperor & Empress'. I see you two stepping on necks.
PILE THREE
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channeled song - blow my brains out by tikkle me
" sometimes I wish I could lend you my voice, lend you my heart, lend you my choice"
" lucky is she, who lives unaware. unlucky me knows way too much "
THEIR PERSONALITY
seven of wands, seven of pentacles, the sun, five of swords, two of pentacles, the chariot, judgement temperance, seven of swords, knight of wands
I think something about your future spouse triggers people's insecurities. They have a certain way of living that shines light on darker traits and habits in others. I see people causing strife and problems with your spouse because of their light. I'm seeing this person has been betrayed by people close to them because of this. They can be defensive with new people and who they share their path with. Their defensiveness with others can be a little bit immature and overbearing but I think they know when to balance themselves out. They give strong Scorpio vibes tbh. I see them being a natural born protector and fighter. They have an inner warrior inside of them. I'm seeing your person has fought a lot to get where they are, and they don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
How they treat you?
" Industry Baby " Lil Nas X ft Jack Harlow
" you was never really rooting for me anyways"
"I don't clear up rumors, where's y'all's sense of humor? "
the hermit, three of pentacles, temperance, queen of pentacles, nine of swords, knight of pentacles, king of sworfs
I see them being very ambitious in showing their love to you. They may come across as very intense but truly they crave partnership. I think from the start they will pursue you strongly. I know I mentioned them being overly defensive earlier but when it comes to you this person has extremeeee patience. You're the only person to tame this person's inner warrior. They'll bow to no one except for you. I see them wanting to stay inside and watch movies, talk and overall withdrawal from everyone expect each other. People will wonder how you managed to 'tame the beast'. This person wants a divine collaboration to grow a new life together. I'm seeing something about living together and possibly combining finances. This person may want you to stop working completely and take on any financial burdens in the relationship. I'm seeing them sacrifice anything for this relationship, to make sure they're offering you the best they possibly can. They're very confident and assured of their approach in love, sometimes even arrogant.
PILE FOUR
Six of cups, Five of Pentacles, The devil, The star, The lovers, King of cups
channeled song - "if I could I would feel like nothing"
I'm so sick of being tired, I'm so tired of being sick."
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THEIR PERSONALITY
I see your person has been through some sort of turmoil in regards to family issues. I think this has caused a detached and dissatisfied energy with things outside of them. I think they battle things like depression, and the word insomnia just came through. I think because your person is very physically attractive and magnetic, people overlook their pain a lot. They may struggle being vulnerable because of that but I feel like the people attracted to this pile could be the opposite. I see the universe divinely orchestrating this connection for their healing. With the lovers card being here, I think they deeply crave emotional availability and to be truly in harmony with their own emotions. This might be someone you met already, I get a strong sense of childhood nostalgia with this person.
HOW THEY TREAT YOU
the sun, seven of pentacles, the hanged man, the well, strength, queen of pentacles
I see them abandoning and sacrificing parts of themselves that do not serve your relationship. I see them working incredibly hard to make your relationship happy and healthy. I think this person suppresses their depression around you, I'm seeing them specifically shine a light on all their best traits, showing off the best parts of themselves hoping it will be enough to compensate for their shadow side. Aww pile four I see them working to be emotionally balanced in this relationship. Aside from that I think their love language is acts of service. I see them being very productive in your relationship, cooking, cleaning, doing simple yet thoughtful tasks for you. I think you motivate them to work harder because I see them wanting to fulfill you financially. To take care of all your wants and needs. I see them taking you down a new journey with them, a journey filled with harmony, divine union and emotional vulnerability. The way they treat you transforms as your relationship continues to grow and blossom.
Thanks for reading 🩷🩷 I love feedback !!! <33
- C
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dotster001 · 2 months
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Leech Vs Morality
Summary: Jade x gn!reader When paired off with Jade for a class, the two of you have a debate about morality.
A/N: dedicated to my pookie wookie @tiyoin who has Jade leech brain rot right now. I present you with one of the few moments you will ever fluster Jade Leech 😁.
You were paired up with the second years in potions today. The love potion you would be making was extremely complex, so Crewel had thought it safer to have an older student guide you.
You winced as you watched Floyd bouncing off the walls while Jack stared straight ahead. Poor guy got stuck with a rough partner.
Meanwhile, your partner was a little too good at this potion. But you weren't going to think about it.
“And done. Excellent work, partner,” Jade beamed at you. It had taken ten minutes to complete it, and he'd finished like it was nothing. All your classmates were still on step two. You weren't going to think about it.
“Thanks for the help, Jade,” you sighed, slouching in your seat.
“It was no problem.”
You sat in silence for a moment, until Jade broke the silence.
“You look like you have something you want to ask.”
You thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. Why did we make this?”
“Love potions are an important staple in potion making.”
“But why?”
He laughed lightly, “I'm not sure I follow.”
“Well, aren't love potions unethical?”
He froze, the atmosphere between the two of you becoming tense.
“Unethical?” He laughed hoarsely.
“Yeah. You're forcing someone who wants nothing to do with you, to love you.”
“I wouldn't use the word unethical, perse..”
Was he sweating? He looked clammy.
“Why not?”
“Well, a love potion doesn't last forever. So if you want the object of your affections to love you, you either need to invest a lot of money into making potions forever, or you need to figure out how to get them to love you in the time limit. Simply put, it is getting your fin in the door.”
“But it's still a love born on lies, and the abuse of free will!”
He slowly pulled out his phone, his expression had long since turned back to normal, but his typing was hurried.
“They're quite common around here. If someone were to use one on you…” he trailed off, his brow quirked in amusement.
You stared at him, not nearly as amused as he was.
“They would never have a chance of me even speaking to them once it wore off,” you said firmly.
“Hmm.”
His phone rang, and he stood up.
“That's Azul. I have to take this.” Without waiting for your response, he left the room in a rush, hurriedly saying something in a language you didn't recognize.
“What'd you say to upset Jade so bad?”
You shrieked. You had been so focused on Jade leaving, that you hadn't noticed Floyd take his seat.
“I didn't say anything! And what do you mean upset, he looks fine!”
“Nah. He's upset. I can tell. Absolutely devastated,” Floyd grinned excitedly. “So, spill! What was it?”
“All we were doing was debating whether love potions are ethical or not!”
Floyd burst into laughter.
“What's so funny?” You snapped.
“You're just so adorable, Shrimpy. Gotta be careful about that, or some shark is gonna eat you up-”
He was yanked from the chair, and you started as Jade held him an inch off the floor, by the collar.
“Fufu, Floyd,” his tone was a warning. Of what you didn't know, but you were a little too scared to ask.
“Jade,” Floyd responded with a giggle.
“Don't you have your own partner to assist?”
“Just lookin out for my brother, that's all!”
Jade set him down, and Floyd threw you a wink, before skipping back over to Jack, who mouthed you the word, ‘help’.
Jade sat in his chair, and scooted closer to you.
“So, Y/N. If someone were to win your heart, without a love potion, how would they do it?”
....
Tag list- @eccedentesiast-sapphic @leoll @pikeru565
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autolenaphilia · 2 months
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It's interesting how intellectually inconsistent the arguments against "problematic" kinks like fauxcest, CNC and ageplay is. Like the anti-kink people get very heated about those kinks for "fetishizing/romanticizing" abuse. And the thing is, that's true for bdsm in general. It relies on roleplaying power inequalties, which would be very abusive if they were real.
That was in fact the argument of the 70s radfems who created the type of anti-kink discourse that relies on exploiting feminist concerns about abuse. They were against all forms of bdsm, including among (cis) lesbians. They used the same arguments we see against fauxcest and CNC today, for what is normal bdsm play.
And the radfems kinda lost this battle of the feminist sex wars, probably because it alienated a lot of the cis women they were recruiting from. Nowadays queer people of all genders do a lot of bdsm and anti-bdsm views don't get a lot of airtime.
Nowadays you see this anti-bdsm rhetoric mostly among proud terfs who use it to prove their hardcore bonafides. (Although I've seen some tenderqueers who admit that they think all bdsm is problematic too.)
And i think that's because the anti-kink people have decided to do a strategic retreat on this question. The radfems took a too extreme stance and alienated people who they otherwise could have recruited. So they have gone for easier targets. Kinks which are seen as extreme compared to "normal" bdsm, like fauxcest and CNC. And they target individual transfems accused of being into or even just "defending" these kinks with callouts and mobbing instead of condemning all the cis gays and lesbians into bdsm.
This leads to intellectual inconsistency. It's fine to play with whips in the bedroom,but doing CNC play is evil. One type of roleplaying abusive relationships is fine, but the other is bad. It's obvious hypocrisy to broaden the appeal of the message.
And of course, their transmisogynistic bias is obvious and I and others have noted this before. And even if the anti-kink people weren't transmisogynistic bigots, they will naturally target us for their moralistic crusade out of opportunism. We transfems are easy targets for callouts on these subjects, because transmisogyny primes people to easily view us as perverted sexual predators and those doing the callouts tend to have tme privilege over us.
And as I said before, the 70s radfems anti-bdsm position and their transmisogyny were intertwined. Janice Raymond literally diagnosed trans women in "The Transsexual Empire" with sadomasochism, something she views as inherently pathological.
And of course their arguments are bullshit anyway. Like sure a lot of kink fetishizes abuse, but I don't see that as a reason to condemn the people doing it. I don't see why I should care if someone gets off on a rape fantasy or CNC roleplay, because it's Not Real. I don't care about fictional murders for the same reason. Most arguments to the contrary tend to rely on the arch-reactionary concept of sexual degeneracy: "if you do enough fauxcest and CNC it will warp your mind and you'll eventually rape your relatives for real, or inspire someone to do so." It ignores the material societal conditions that lead to abuse in the real world.
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sourbinnie · 9 months
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☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> maknae line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
a/n -> like i said in the hyung line ending this ain't a happy or a sad ending, this is more of a mix of both and i would say it's more neutral. i really feel like i didn't nail it but i'm gonna publish it anyways because i don't know if i can write it any other way. thank you for following this scenario! it means a lot to me the love that this one got in particular.
first part -> maknae line
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jisung ✉
as you got home you were faced with a lot of doubt in your mind. why didn't you tell him that it was your birthday? why didn't he remember? were you just that forgettable? did he just care more about soohee than you? was it always going to be like this? it hurt, it really did. i mean you knew jisung had a tendency to forget everything but it felt like that didn't happen when it came to soohee.
minho was blowing up your phone but you couldn't seem to pick it up. you weren't ready to talk about anything at the moment, you just wanted to cry and that you did. it was as if the tears wouldn't stop falling from your eyes as you thought that maybe this would be the end. you just never seemed to be the priority and when you saw the door opening you weren't surprised but still felt like wanting to be alone.
"baby, baby, baby! i'm so fucking sorry. i cancelled everything that i was gonna do and i'm here now." jisung rambled as he was going around your apartment but you didn't move. you couldn't look at him because you weren't sure of what to say and you felt like you couldn't talk without breaking down and crying in front of him. jisung noticed and felt like crying himself as he took in everything. "(y/n) i'll make it right, i know i was an idiot and forgot but i need another chance."
"it's not about forgetting sung." you said which caught him off guard. this was more serious wasn't it? he was in deep trouble, he could sense it and it was scaring the living hell out of him. "you put her first again, you always do this. i just wanna feel like your partner but i sometimes feel as if she was dating you and not me."
"don't fucking say that. i only want you and she's just a friend, well was a friend because i don't want her in my life if she doesn't like you." he explained and you never wanted this. even if it hurt that she didn't like you, you never wanted to be the type of significant other that would dictate who your boyfriend could and couldn't hang out with. "i care about you, it's only you i want at the end of the day."
"i think i need some time, baby. we're not over but i just don't know how to feel right now." you said and he nodded as he heard your words. he wanted for you to be okay and that was his priority right now, nothing else. 
"can i at least take you out for your birthday? i know minho planned something." he said as he removed the tears from your cheeks. you gave him a little smile because he was about to cry at any moment too and couldn't resist hugging him. "i'm such a cry baby when it comes to you."
"i know, i love you like this though." you mumbled and let him sob in your arms for a while as you held him. you knew in the end though that things would be okay if you worked them out together.
felix ✉
looking at the clock in the kitchen was the way you were spending your time. your birthday was almost over and there was still no felix in sight. you sighed to yourself, there were no more tears to fall, it was just you and your numbness against the world. you didn't go out and celebrate, you didn't buy a cake or a present to yourself because there was no point if you felt completely destroyed.
to others it might seem a little too much but to you it was a big deal. you wanted to talk to someone about how you felt and how it was taking a toll on you mentally but when you looked at your phone and saw that background of felix smiling and holding you close, you had to shut it off again.
"(y/n)? can you please open the door? i forgot the key." his voice said through the other side and this was beyond what you wanted. you couldn't have this conversation right now but you knew you would have to because you couldn't avoid it forever. you opened the door to be met by a very distraught looking felix, his hair was messy and he was panting like he ran a marathon all the way to your house. his eyes were glassy as he looked at you and you just let him in.
"lix i would never ask this in other circumstances but why are you here?" you asked in a low tone and it hurt felix so much to see you this way. his usually bright and sparkled eyed partner was looking down and not being able to hold their gaze to meet him. your voice sounded broken like you've been crying for hours and it was all his fault. he wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive him this time.
"i-i had to see you. i know how much i fucked up this time and i know how you feel about her, how you've always felt and i took it for granted." he said and the more you heard the more it hurt. "but i care way more about having you than maintaining a toxic friendship with someone who didn't respect my partner and i know it might be too late, i'm sorry (y/n). not only did i miss your birthday, i missed getting to see you smile, i missed getting you the presents, i missed going out with you and the people who actually care about me and i'm so deeply sorry."
it was as if he was losing himself as he spoke, you couldn't stand seeing that. it was going to be hard getting through this and being able to be okay with felix again. this was not about getting a present or remembering a date on a calendar, it was about trust and you knew that even after all, you trusted felix with your whole life.
"lix i love you, i really do. i feel like it's all too much right now and i just wanna go to sleep but i would love to try again tomorrow. maybe take me out and we can talk?" you offered as you got close to him, grabbing his cold hands and seeing him nod. "slow steps for now baby but i know we'll get through it."
"slow steps." he repeated and looked at you, finally eye to eye. he gave you a warm smile that you adored so much and then leaned in to kiss your cheek. it never failed to make you smile as well and that's all you needed as the clock struck midnight.
seungmin ✉
waking up all alone today felt dreadful. the excitement from yesterday was all gone when you remembered how you decided to spend your birthday and as you checked your phone and there was still no sign from seungmin, you gave up. you were going to try to continue with your day and not think about your boyfriend, soohee or anything negative that could ruin your mood immediately. but when you looked at your phone again, you had almost a spam level of messages from jeongin telling you to come over.
you knew what this was about (or you hoped). a certain part of you wanted to stay away from the dorms and not think about seeing seungmin but the other part that was louder knew you had to go and give him a chance to speak. you put on your shoes and grabbed your things to head to the dorms as you thought of the conversation you were about to have with your boyfriend.
he was waiting impatiently for you to arrive and when you did, jeongin opened the door and greeted you with a hug. it broke his heart when you didn't greet him the same way or with a kiss but he knew he deserved it after all that happened yesterday. you were both standing there, waiting for the other to speak and it was really heavy on his chest the fact that it didn't feel natural like it always has.
"okay why did you make me come here? even though you didn't text, it was jeongin who did." you said breaking the silence and he felt like a coward, everything was building itself up to be the last time you two ever meet didn't it? it was killing him. he couldn't lose you, no he wouldn't lose you.
"i knew that if i texted you, you would've ignored me. that's what i felt was going to happen." he explained and he was kind of right but you still wanted him to tell you something, hearing nothing from him made you doubt everything even more. "i feel like the biggest idiot on the planet right now. not only i didn't spend your birthday with you, i just simply disappeared and i couldn't even send a message."
"well i'm glad you're realizing this now but i just wanna know seungmin if you care about this relationship. i know it might sound like i'm exaggerating but i feel so hurt by what happened that it makes me just doubt everything. i want to be with you but do you want to be with me?" you asked and seungmin wasn't one to cry at all but this ticked all the boxes to making him feel like the worst boyfriend ever. 
"i want to be with you forever (y/n). there's no one else for me and i know you're asking because of soohee. she doesn't mean anything to me like that and if you want me to cut off ties with her, i will." he said confidently even if he felt the tears building up which he wiped them away immediately. you had never seen him cry and he didn't want to look weak or like he didn't mean the things he was saying in front of you. this image of seungmin showing his emotions was new to you but it felt real and honest.
"i don't want you to do anything because i told you to or you feel like it would make me feel better, you know? i just want you to be happy minnie. i was devastated with what happened yesterday and i can't say that forgiving you is gonna be easy." you explained and he felt a sob coming through because you were just so fucking caring and he couldn't even process why you were giving him a second chance. he caught the distance by hugging you because he couldn't take the coldness anymore, he wanted to feel you close and as you held him, you knew you couldn't be far away from him either.
"i know today is not your birthday but i'll make you remember everything about this day like it was if you let me baby." he muttered in your arms and you didn't have to say anything because you trusted his word. you weren't even thinking about your birthday, just how you and him fit like puzzle pieces when you held each other like that.
jeongin ✉
as you got home, you dropped all your things on your couch and noticed immediately that jeongin's things were already there. so you weren't gonna be able to avoid him after all you thought because right now all you wanted was to go to sleep and absolutely forget about everything that you went through tonight. just thinking about the fact that your boyfriend was with someone else when he planned the reservation and also the fact that she picked up his phone for him was unforgivable.
you could hear the key at the door and then faced that way to see your boyfriend standing there with so many things that your first instinct was to help him out. you hated yourself for being so nice sometimes but it was impossible not to be kind to jeongin even if he was on thin ice right now. he looked at you and could see the mad expression you were giving him, of course he deserved it.
"(y/n)? you probably hate to see me here but we need to talk." he said and you didn't respond because you felt like crying all over again just seeing him there. you put the cake that he bought in the kitchen and the presents on the coffee table, not even glancing at them because you couldn't care less about rushed last minute gifts that went no thought into them. "please, i know you hate me right now but i can't stand us being distant to each other and not hearing your voice."
"jeongin." you said and it went through him like a knife because he wasn't used to his full name. he looked at you and saw the tears that he feared so much, he promised you so many times he wouldn't be the cause of them and here you were. "i don't even know what to say. you forgot yeah, i can't get past that and i wouldn't be so mad if you weren't hanging out with someone who hates me in every way and you let her pick up your phone! it just feels like she's more your partner than i am sometimes."
"no, not at all. i won't ever be with her and i don't want to be with her." he said looking at you and getting closer, you didn't take a step back because even if you were fuming you just wanted to be held by him. "you're the only one for me and that won't ever change even if tonight i let you down, even if you make me leave right now, i won't want anyone that's not you." 
"you just made me feel so humiliated there all alone." you said and he nodded trying to not make the mental image of you waiting for him in the restaurant but he failed to because that's all he could think about when he was coming to your apartment. "i don't know if we'll able to fix this."
"i want you. scratch that, i need you (y/n)." he begged and you knew that you needed him too. his tears were falling softly but you wiped them off because seeing him upset was a sight that drove you insane. it was a mix of emotions for you and for him right now, a roller coaster that didn't stop. he couldn't stop looking at you, he needed a sign that this could be fixed and that you would be alright but he couldn't find any.
"give me some time to think yeah? i promise nothing bad is gonna happen and i just need it to process everything." you said and it was finally settled. he was desperate to make this right again and he would but he needed to respect your decision and that's what he would do.
"can i kiss you?" he asked and you were hesitant but still nodded. his hand on your cheek as he leaned in closer to seal the end of the day with a little kiss, nothing too passionate but it was just right for that moment as he pulled away. you looked at him and hoped everything would turn out right in the end but with jeongin holding you, there were no more doubts in your mind.
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de4dlyniightshade · 3 months
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I’d really just like to request your most feral Spencer Reid headcanons. SFW, NSFW, raunchy, tame - whatever. Just your like “I will fight anyone who disagrees, they are fact” type headcanons.
(Because I reread all your headcanons and love every single one)
I BEEN WAITING ON SOMEONE ASKING THIS! i've also just been meaning to make a hc post.
i was gonna split them into nsfw and sfw but they just ended up all mixed together 0-0
submissive and breedable spencer truther til i fucking die i'll get him pregnant don't play with me.
loves messy kisses like spit running down his chin, tongues down each others throat, desperately gripping at each other type of kisses.
maybe just me projecting and taking what mgg said as gospel truth but i fully believe that spencer loves a curvy woman, not even just for sexual reasons he also loves to rest his head on a nice big pair of boobs or thighs.
speaking of, boob guy! shamefully, but still a boob guy! adores groping your boobs whenever he can and would have your boob in his mouth 24/7 if he could, has literally fallen asleep with his head under your shirt and your nipple in his mouth.
munch! like the biggest munch ever, loves nothing more than coming home from a long day and burying his face between your thighs or having you ride his face.
knows full well that toys are his teammate and not his competitors and has no insecurities about you using toys on yourself or owning any.
does not care how well groomed you are, if you asked him what he preferred he'd be like??? it's literally none of my business???
needs lots of reassurance during sex, he just likes to know that he's doing good and making you feel good throughout the whole thing.
doesn't like talking about his sex life, especially with derek, no matter how hard he pressed and pries spencer wont let anything but the bare minimum out.
i imagine he's more drawn to a commanding woman, someone who will take the lead and teach him because of his inexperience and finds that he actually loves being dominated and hardly has any desire to dominate you.
really vocal! even though i've already said it like twice he just is, i can feel it in my bones, he's just such a whiny little baby and can't help but moan loudly any time you're touching him.
is completely against the idea of road head until you do it while you're on a long drive and it both changes his life and almost ends it bcs he swerved into the other lane which was luckily empty.
still gets shy when you kiss him in front even the team even years down the line.
learns to cook so he can make you breakfast whenever you're staying at his apartment.
on the same lines, lovesss morning sex, just that feeling of not wanting to get out your warm bed into the cold air, savouring the warmth in the best way possible.
had no idea what queefing was real until it happened and he was like genuinely so fascinated rather than disgusted.
i feel like spencer would own a bird for sure, not just bcs of gideon but he did help him realise how cool birds are which made him get one, probably a cockatiel or parrotlet with some silly name like dave.
all bark, no bite. likes to act a big game in front of others but the second you're alone he's begging and calling you mommy.
loves nothing more than waking up before you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before carefully and quietly getting out of bed to make you breakfast with the intention of bringing it to you but when you wake up before him and sneak up behind him to wrap your arms around his waist he can't help but melt.
very open to experimenting further down the line, anything you want to try he'll try at least once, except for blindfolds on himself, would be completely open to blindfolding you though.
loves public touching, not outright sex but he'd love when you subtly brush your hand over his crotch or take a handful of his ass in a public place.
teaches you how to knit and cries when you actually make him something like a sweater or even just a hat bcs he realises that's why you wanted to learn in the first place.
can't ride a bike.(this is definitely me projecting bcs i can't but i just feel like he can't okay)
lana enjoyer!!! especially if you are, he just wants to understand all the things you love and if you love lana so does he, he'd love to hear you ramble about your favourite songs and would take note of them and listen to them asap and tell you he loves them even if he didn't like some that much bcs he loves how happy it makes you.
wouldn't want to introduce you to his mother too soon but if you ended up meeting her by chance he'd be sweating buckets in case you didn't get along but you two just bond over your adoration for him and he's just so happy about it.
probably took a while to warm up to physical touch in the beginning bcs of his germophobia but when he finally does he regrets not doing it sooner.
washes his hands every single time before touching you sexually, not even for his benefit, he just wants to be as safe as possible with you.
loves elvis and almost proposes on the spot when you offer to dance with him to can't help falling in love, secretly sheds a few tears while you waltz around his apartment in your pyjamas.
okay i've definitely left stuff out that i've thought of but this is long asf so i'll leave it there😭
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11cupid-tarot11 · 3 days
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How would your future spouse treat you on your moon cycle? <3
I was having such bad cramps when this question suddenly hit me and I figured we'd all love to know, right? Even though I get very cranky and like to be alone during my time of the month hehe.
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3 -> 4
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Pile 1- Wheel of fortune, queen of wands, queen of swords.
So this person will literally try to pamper you, whatever that may look like for you. I'm hearing they'll respect all of your boundaries and will grant all of your wishes, they're very supportive. I'm hearing they don't like seeing you in pain and they understand how uncomfortable this time frame is for you.
I think this person is naturally caring and easily can read human emotions and they're giving therapists vibes tbh like they could work in that field or maybe for some I'm picking up on massage therapists, this person just seems like they know humans enough like maybe they studied it or it could just means they've studied you so well they know what you need (I said 'want' at first but was directed to switch it to 'need'. Someone's fs here likes being in charge lol) . Either way, I think they'd love to be your massage therapist around this time. I'm hearing anything to make you feel good.
THEY WILL LITERALLY TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN, pamper you, spoil you.
I'm hearing for some, around your moon cycle you get mood swings maybe? Your entire energy changes enough for this person to catch on and they'll know before/when you're on your period because of this. Maybe you're usually very chill and calm and around this time you're just more cranky than usual like me lol and your person will try very hard to just make sure your okay and not taking their head off? Lol, the way your person talks is very funny, they're very funny and so so sweet!
I think this person will treat you so well simply because they love you, you're their baby and they respect you so much. You're literally their queen. They love you so so much 😍 they want me to leave this rose emoji for you 🌹 (I think they're very giving, it's just in their nature 😭)
Other messages- my sweet girl, lots of chocolate and warm towels, hugs and I'm picking up on those who would rather be left alone for moments at a time they understand, they'll check up on you occasionally and will still be very affectionate (u can't refuse their hugs I'm hearing no escape lol 🤣😭 they're very cute. I think they like compliments? They might blush and smile a lot?) The type to randomly kiss ur forehead or cheek when ur literally just ✨chillin✨ just because.
Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!
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Pile 2- Ace of swords, temperance, the fool and the hermit.
So I think this person actually doesn't know much about a women's cycle, I think for a specific few they're the only child or maybe they just didn't grow up around a lot of feminine energy so this just isn't their field but I'm hearing they'd try damn hard to make sure everything's okay!
They'd follow your lead on this, like they prefer to maybe watch you from afar during this time? Like sometimes they don't know if they should bother or if they could help at all so they'll probably just straight up ask if there's anything they can do. This person isn't immature about it, but they do feel a bit awkward during those days? (I'm actually dying at ur person, they hardly know how to describe anything?)
Okay, for example, say you're having very bad stomach cramps and you've been in bed all day complaining, they would probably let you stay in bed as long as you'd like and would peek their head in the doorway to silently check up on you because they don't know if they should disturb you or not.
I think they'd love it if you just told them or ask for anything you need, I think they'd rather you rest and use them as a servant 😜 (ur person wanted me to add that, they felt very serious until now? I'm dying) until you feel better, they'll try different approaches tho, I don't think it'll always be this awkward. I think when you two have been together for awhile they'll pick up. I think then they'd mix up their own home remedies, and their own strategies by now, they're not very specific on what this could be or what it could look like because I think this person doesn't really want you to know?
They really want you to feel cared for and like they're there for you as much as possible so they're constantly thinking of new ideas for you!
This is not an 18+ reading and take it how it resonates but I think a very selective few wouldn't mind having intercourse on their moon cycle? 👀
Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!
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Pile 3- Death, Ace of coins, The tower, Page of wands
This pile feels different, I was getting the energy of your person being shy and excited to have their turn for the reading 🤣 maybe this person isn't someone who you see romantically at first, could be a roommate a friend but you do know this person or they will come into your life at some point and you guys will have some kind of friendship from the start. It's giving secret admirer tho.
With the death card I'm thinking y'all could've just made it official, it feels like this is something new to them. Maybe it makes them feel a step closer to you? They think it's very cool you're trusting them enough at a time like this. They really value it.
I think they'll be the type to really go all in, ask you probably 20x a day "What do you need?" I saw that scene from Aladdin, when the genie is explaining how tired he is of being in the lamp and he's like "What do you need?Poof! What do you need? Poof!"
This person is trying to charm you and maybe show you they really care for you by doing this, I'm hearing 365 days a year they'll be like this tho, not only when you're on your moon cycle. I think they want you to be vulnerable with them or can't wait to see more vulnerable sides of you.
Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!
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Pile 4- The moon, Kight of coins, Temperance, Kight of swords.
My pile 4's energy is different, I think this person could be older than you? This person overall isn't someone who's very cuddly or could even be very hard to read so moments like these really show that side of them in their own way?
For example, say you ran out of pads but your stomach hurts too bad to go get them yourself, your person wouldn't be thrilled to shop in the women's section but for YOU they will, they'll go get your pads and make sure they're the right size and everything (I'm hearing he'll literally call you and ask what size he should get).
They're very serious when it comes to you, they have dedication and it shows in the oddest ways possible.
So for your time of the month they'd be very chill about, the other piles felt all jittery and nervous like they were scared to mess up but your person is smart, he'll break down those walls for you, if you just want to cuddle in bed they'll hold you as long as you like. I'm hearing they're actually kind of "softer" at the right times (I'm sorry I can't think of a better word right now)
You'll love how this person will treat you and your needs and I'm hearing symptoms as well, they're very comfortable and reliable. He's like your big giant teddy bear! 🧸
Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!
387 notes · View notes
aethelwyneleigh27 · 6 months
Note
hiiii pook :))
can i please have ghost reacting to someone making fun of his s/o's trauma?? happened today and I just need comfort ☹️ I understand if not take care of yourself heheheheh 💗💗💗💗💗🫶🙇‍♀️
How CoD characters would react to someone making fun of their s/o's trauma
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I'm so sorry to hear that Puff, you don't deserve that and neither does anyone. I hope you don't forget that you can talk to me anytime and I do mean it, don't be scared that you will be judged because you won't. People sure have a way of making us feel shitty. I included other characters just for you :3
Characters included: Simon Ghost Riley, Kyle Gaz Garrick, König.
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
❥ If Ghost was there to witness it himself, I don't think he'll be able to keep his cool as much as anyone thinks he would.
Ghost steps in almost immediately upon hearing what the recruit just said to you.
"Watch your words" He warns in a low dangerous tone of voice, giving them the most intense glare you've ever seen him give anyone.
❥ However if he wasn't there to witness it himself:
❥ You know I don't think he takes it lightly at all when he finds out from you. He's observant, so much so that he noticed the small little things that you didn't do in the manner you usually would.
❥ Heaven forbid he actually finds the person who did it, that recruit will more likely be on intense cleaning duties for the rest of their career.
❥ I think everyone in the base knows the fine line between Lieutenant Riley and L.T. Ghost, nobody ever and I mean ever wants to cross that.
❥ Ghost has been through a lot, he has traumas of his own and he's aware you have yours. That being said, he definitely is trying his best at comforting you like you do with him.
"It's alright lovie, they won't get to you again"
Simon whispers, holding you in his arms, your head on his chest while you sniffled. He gently wiped your tears away and did his best to help you with your headache from the amount of crying by gently rubbing your head.
Simon kisses your forehead, rubbing your back to help you sleep while he found himself staring at your beautiful sleeping, tear stained face.
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Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
❥ If Kyle was there to witness it himself, he'd let his protective instincts kick in. Usually he'd be calm and collected, but when it's your feelings and we'll being on the line? I think the fuck not.
He looked at them with the most "Excuse me?!" type of look as if they just disrespected his whole damn family tree. You know what they might as well have since they were so bold as to insult his future spouse, in front of him no less. The fucking audacity.
"Show some respect" Kyle says with the sternest voice you've ever heard him use, you'd swear you heard him mutter "fucking ignorant" a little later when the recruit ran off.
❥ If he wasn't there:
❥ He damn well takes it personally, first of all who the fuck was bold enough to do that to you? Behind his back too, like Kyle gets along with almost every single one of the recruits because he's popular and a casanova for a reason.
❥ Kyle would probably get them back and make their lives a bit more miserable, more likely that he'll try to get Soap in with everything. That's not his first priority though.
❥ His first priority would be making sure you're okay, he'd be supportive and comforting. The kind of person who makes it so easy to open up and immediately understands what your little body languages mean.
❥ He can tell when there's something you aren't too comfortable telling him and he'll reassure you that you don't have to tell him and that he's just there for anything.
Kyle didn't need to say anything else, you knew he was there and he made that clear. He held your face in his hands, kissing the corner of your eyes making you let out a small smile. He kissed your tears away.
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König
❥ Usually, König hates getting involved with unnecessary conversation with other people. He's not one to interfere with other's businesses, when it comes to you though, it's a whole different story.
❥ Yeah if he didn't have the self-control, somebody would've been bitch slapped that day.
The silence was absolutely deafening, he stood protectively in front of you by pure instinct.
"You'll regret that"
❥ Yeah I think the recruit pissed themselves after that, how could they not? They lost their job not long after anyway. (König definitely pulled some strings, he might as well use his rank to good use. If it's for you then it's worth it in his eyes.)
❥ You know damn well that whether he was or wasn't there to see it for himself that the recruit was basically asking for a death wish the moment those words came out of their mouth.
❥ Trying his best to comfort you, he's your shoulder to cry on and will listen to you if you ever decide to tell him about your trauma. He won't promise anything about anyone who has ever hurt you their safety and or their life.
"Mein liebling.." You heard him call out his nickname for you in the sweetest tone he could afford.
He held you almost effortlessly, kissing the top of your head before resting his chin overtop.
❥ Yeah you knew he did something... (Yandere König? I kinda like that)
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865 notes · View notes
jeongheart · 7 months
Text
super shy
summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?
w.c: 7.1k.
tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.
a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!
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It was there again.
Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.
The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.
However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.
After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.
He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.
The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.
Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.
'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).
Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:
Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.
I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.
Fondly,'
And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.
His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.
"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.
"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.
Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"
You didn't answer him.
Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.
"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.
"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.
It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.
Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).
Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.
Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"
From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"
You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.
From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.
You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.
"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.
"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.
Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.
"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.
Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.
"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.
You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.
"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.
After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."
Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.
You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!
While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.
You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).
He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.
"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.
"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.
"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.
Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.
"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."
You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.
When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.
"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.
"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.
"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.
Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.
"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.
You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.
You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.
The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.
The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.
You liked him a little too much.
His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.
That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.
You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.
At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.
And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.
"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.
Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."
At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.
"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.
"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"
Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."
“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.
Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."
You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?
Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?
No, of course not, that was ridiculous.
You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.
The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.
"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.
You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.
Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"
His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.
Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.
Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.
The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.
Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.
"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.
Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."
Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.
You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.
If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.
"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.
Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.
You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.
"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.
Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.
Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."
His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.
You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.
As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."
The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.
You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.
Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.
Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."
You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.
In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.
Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.
"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"
You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.
Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.
"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"
Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.
His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."
Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.
"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"
You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.
"It's me."
The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.
Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.
Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.
"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."
As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.
After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.
Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."
You blinked in surprise.
Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.
Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."
You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.
With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"
Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."
As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.
"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."
"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."
Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."
A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.
The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.
And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"
Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"
You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.
Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."
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