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imagine-that-100 · 4 months

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Will We Talk? | Part 4 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 18.2k

A/N: It's finally here oh my lord. Once again so sorry my writing takes so long these days but I'm so excited about this chapter. Thank you for the suggestions I got after I dropped the teaser, really appreciate all the help and it got my mind back into writing mode again. After this there's only one part left, but its going to be fun so don't fret. Really hope you enjoy this part, please let me know what you think. Thank you so so much for reading. Enjoy x

| My Masterlist |

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

The run up to Christmas was fun. Fucking Alex every other day of the week had been a surprisingly needed stress relief that a month ago you would have never foreseen. Usually the run up to Christmas had you stressed for no reason in particular but this year with your stresses finally being relieved every other night it was so much better than other Christmas breaks you’ve had in a long time.

Alex had certainly been making the most of your arrangement. It was him texting or calling you asking, “Are you free tonight?” Which may as well be directly translated to ‘Do you want to fuck me tonight?’. Every single time you said yes, not depriving yourself of such simple pleasures and it led to you having a very relaxed holiday season.

And now Christmas is over and done with, you were excited for tonight’s New Year’s party. So much so that you couldn’t sit at home and just wait to get ready, you ended up texting Katie and asking her if you could help her set up and thankfully she said yes.

For the past hour you’ve been listening to music and hearing the Cook's Christmas stories of Forest getting all excited when he opened each present. She showed you a couple of videos before Jamie took the little man out for the afternoon while you both got the house ready for tonight.

Your catch ups are the best and you adore your best friend so much. The gossiping and the giggling never ceases and you’re forever finding new things to talk about, it’s a miracle you’ve not discovered everything there is to know about each other after a decade of being best friends.

But it turns out there are some things you are yet to discover. Like a certain holiday that was being planned.

“You’re coming on the impromptu trip away with us, right?” Katie asks, a little out of the blue as if she’s just remembering as she unpeels the Happy New Year banners from each other and handing one to you.

“Depends, when?” You tell her, knowing the dates of this trip will be the deal breaker if you can go, “I’m back in work on the ninth, remember?”

You’ve joined the Cooks on impromptu trips away before, both with their family and their friends. You’re always invited, which you find thoughtful of Katie and knowing that these trips tend to be very random, you’d started saving money for such events so you didn’t find yourself missing out. The only time you denied yourself was when the trips clashed with work which you hope isn’t the case this time.

“Oh, we come back on the seventh.” Katie grins, very pleased with what you’ve just said, “You’re coming.”

“Yeah,” You find yourself giggling at her, knowing she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway. You continue putting up the party decorations as you tell her, “Just let me know how much it is and I’ll scramble it together.”

“Oh no, Alex is paying for us all,” She tells you, as she seems to be having a hard time stretching the balloons out to start blowing them up, “You just need spending money.”

You immediately frown hearing that, bluetacking the banner on the wall and turning towards your best friend to ask, “What?”

“Alex is paying.” She tells you, “It’s for his birthday. Has he not told you about it yet?”

“No, he’s not mentioned it.” You tell her.

You figure it’s best to neglect mentioning how the singer only talks to ask how you are before he ends up saying the filthiest things into your ear as he fucks you senseless. Holidays and other things normal friends would talk about are not on the cards.

He comes over. You fuck. He leaves. Interaction complete.

“Oh well, he probably expected me to ask you.” Katie shrugs, not thinking much of it, “But yeah don’t worry about the money, he’s paying.”

You’ll see about that, you think as you continue helping your best friend decorate, putting the singer out of your head for the time being.

~*~*~*~

I need to speak to you

You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want.

Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back.

Christ

Am I in trouble? x

His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit.

You’re not funny

Phone me when you’re free.

Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later.

After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”

“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”

You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday.

“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”

You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him.

“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”

Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”

“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”

“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals.

“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”

Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”

You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you.

“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”

“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.”

You almost scoff.

You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir.

Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”

And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable.

“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.

“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already.

He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance.

You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”

“Well, it’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”

“But-“ You start but then stop yourself.

Alex immediately questions, “But what?”

He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.

You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence.

But that silence speaks volumes.

“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours.

“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for ten years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.”

“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle.

“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.”

You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette.

“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it.

Only after your laughter subsides, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?”

“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.”

“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”

“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”

You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice.

“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat.

“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk.

You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.”

He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.”

“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”

“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”

You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again.

“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.”

He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship.

Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”

“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open.

Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!

You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”

“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.”

You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago.

“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”

In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months.

Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up?

“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.”

You nod even though he can’t see you, “I know.”

“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.”

You frown, confused, “What?”

“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable.

“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute.

“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny.

You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”

“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”

You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”

“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought.

You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”

Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”

“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”

Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”

“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head.

You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet

“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue.

Idiot Y/N.

“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now.

Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 2nd 2019 ~*~*~*~

The Alps are absolutely mesmerising and you could stare at the snow covered mountains for days. The trip was certainly worth every single ounce of effort and you know you’ll be eternally grateful to Alex for him bringing you all here.

You’re sure when you first got here you looked like a child in a toyshop. The views are absolutely stunning and you know for a fact that your jaw was agape as you took in the breathtaking scenery around you.

So much so that Alex turned you towards him at one point and pushed your jaw back up and quietly teased, “Don’t let anyone else see those pretty lips parted like that, don’t want people getting ideas.”

Needless to say, you flushed hearing that and Alex wasn’t subtle about the way he let his smirk take over his face. And then he left you hanging, sauntering off to join Miles, Nick, and Jamie walking just in front of you, leaving you to catch up with Katie, Kristen, and Flo who all joined you for the holiday.

Alex leaving you like this hadn’t been the only time since you’d woken up early today though. He’d been a tease since he picked you up to take you to the airport, asking if you’d recovered from the previous nights activities where he all but folded you into a pretzel and fucked you until you came on his cock.

That wasn’t the beginning or end of your antics after the party, he’d teased you at Katie’s party, getting you in the mood and ready for him when he pulled you to a quieter bit of the party and pushed you against the wall to kiss you, taking away any sense but him. And he did it every time to leave you wanting more only for him to pull away and leave you to your own devices for a while.

So you were desperate when it got to 3am and he was practically pulling you down the road so you could get back to your house. And he certainly did show you a good time until you practically passed out from the exhaustion.

You woke up late the next morning to a glass of water and some painkillers on your bedside table along with a note that read, Hope you’re not too sore sweet x

It wasn’t hard to guess he probably felt a hint of guilt how far you’d both gone the night before. In the heat of the moment he said somethings about him wanting you to remember him, the feel of him inside you, over the week that you were both away.

He kept making you regret the no sex on holiday rule. Alex kept saying how you'd be begging him to take you when you got back home, how you’d not be able to walk properly by the time he’d finished with you after a week of not touching him the way he knows your filthy mind craves him.

You're ashamed to admit that your thoughts about him are sometimes so dirty they belong down the gutter. He’d certainly made a good job of having you long for him.

You try not to admit to yourself that you crave him. That when he decided that he was the one that was going to be sitting next to you on the plane and not Flo, you were happy. Not because you had any issue with Flo, no she was such an amazing friend to you, but because it was Alex. And he wanted to sit beside you.

The little shit that he was though teased you the whole journey. You were still tired so when you sighed and closed your eyes once you’d relaxed after the take off, Alex whispered into your ear, “Did I work you too hard sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as you feel yourself flush knowing he was to do with your fatigue.

You slept in a little on New Year’s Day after you’d taken the painkillers he’d left out for you, but then your day was spent packing for this trip, figuring out what you’d need and calling Katie to double checking on if you’d need going out clothes and doing a checklist of the skiing things you actually own.

By the time you went to bed it was 11pm and that was far later than you should have been going to sleep because you had to be up at 3am to get ready. So it was do to Alex fucking you hard and long enough on New Years and the fact you had so little sleep last night that you were tired on the plane.

Next, he’s disturbing your attempt at sleep by him putting his hand on your thigh and leisurely trailing his hand up and down, mixed with him occasionally squeezing. He keeps an eye on your reaction to him, you going stiff for a few seconds and him taking great pleasure in saying, “I’ve done worse than putting my hand on your thigh, sweet.”

“Not in public or daylight.” You huff and try to get yourself comfy enough to get sleepy.

Looking out of the window just has you mesmerised so after a few minutes you just end up looking around the plane. It's just you and Alex sitting beside each other and for some reason you’re not all that close to your friends.

Katie, Kirsten, and Flo are all on one row, about 4 seats ahead of you, and Miles, Jamie, and Nick are on the row behind them. You’ve got no idea why you’re so far away from them with the gap of strangers in front of you, but you guess things could be worse. You could be sitting alone or worse, you could be at home feeling like you’re missing out.

There’s a stranger beside Alex so you’re glad you took the window seat and the views of sun rising through the clouds were amazing. You genuinely wish you weren’t as tired as you were so you could appreciate them fully.

Instead you’re feeling uncomfortable and whichever way you lean your head isn’t helping you relax. If it's against the wall of the plane you can feel the vibrations, just leaning back does nothing to help and if you do fall asleep like that you’re not risking possibly snoring because your jaw is hanging open, and if you let your head fall forward that’s not good for your posture, not to mention painful.

Maybe it’s you wriggling in your seat that gives you away, considering his hand is still on your thigh, but Alex seems to pick up on your discomfort easily.

“You can lean on me to go to sleep, you know?” Alex tells you with a smile, nodding down to his shoulder just beside you.

“What,” You hold back your sigh but let him know that you’re not all that impressed with his offer after his previous antics, “So you can just try to wake me up even more?”

“Come on sweet.” Alex chuckles, rubbing your thigh again before squeezing it. “Not my fault you’re not finding it relaxing.”

Pretending that him gripping your thigh didn’t give you flashbacks to the other night, you keep your voice quiet as you raise your eyebrows accusingly, “Because you’re trying to be a tease.”

“And it’s working.” Alex smirks, clearly knowing whatever your tells are by now, he gestures to the back of the plane, “Wanna go to the bathroom?”

Its a mixture of shock and being entirely unimpressed that has you asking, “Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely not.” Alex grins, holding his chuckle as he asks, “We’re not on holiday yet, technically. We could go again if you're not feeling satisfied enough before we land?”

You don’t dignify him with an answer, you just shake your head and look away from the tease. While the thought of him fucking you and you having to be quiet because others are around seems like quite the thrill, the mere thought of doing so in a public aeroplane has you wanting gag.

“What?” Alex fakes his hurt, nonchalantly following up with, “I know you can get horny just after you’ve woken up.”

Your head whips back to him, narrowing your eyes as you scold, “You’re being loud.”

He wasn’t. His voice was just above a whisper. But the mere fact you were on a plane with the possibility of anyone around you eavesdropping has you getting all embarrassed and flustered in an instant.

“Sorry,” Alex barely holds back his grin. “I’ll be subtle about it when I take you in the bathroom.”

Instead of scowling, you lean your head back on the seat, close your eyes, and take a deep breath so you don’t end up smacking him. Taking a few seconds to calm your anxiousness down and try not to let his joking get you too embarrassed when you know he isn’t trying to be malicious, you just stay like that silently.

But Alex disturbs your peace, “You don’t have to think about it so intently Y/N/N, we can just do it.”

“No.” You look at him again, and say even quietly to try and further your point, “Not to mention everyone would see.”

Alex can’t help but take that though as you just don’t want to right now. In such a public setting. That’s not you saying that you’d never be ready to join the mile high club.

“Oh okay, remind me to take you on a private jet.” Alex squeezes your thigh again, before winking, “They mind their business on those.”

You’re lost for words for a brief moment. Taking in exactly what that means, and you end up half frowning.

“Way to persuade me.” You scoff, “Telling me you’re already in the mile high club.”

Sarcasm is thick in your voice as you say, “Such a turn on.”

The singer can’t help but smirk though, “Don’t be jealous now, sweet.”

After that, Alex seems to give you a break from his endless torment. He takes his hand from your thigh as he reaches down to his bag by his feet and takes out the word search book he bought himself in WHSmiths at the airport. Finally you feel like you can relax and sleep for the remainder of the 2 hour flight.

Or you hoped so anyway, but it seems the vibrations of the plane's wall just wanted you conscious. So it was with a huff you leant back against the headrest once more.

“Just,” Alex sighs and he picks his hand up to cup the side of your face to gently push your head on his shoulder.

Instant comfort was an understatement compared to the wall and the seat. But you still felt weird about it.

You tell him with a sigh, “I don’t want to annoy you.”

“You don’t annoy me at all, Y/N/N.” He dismisses immediately, paying you no more attention after saying, “Go to sleep.”

And so you did. You got a good hour’s sleep and you think it was only when the plane started to make a steady descent that your body woke you up as a result of the decrease in altitude. But you woke up gently and slowly, and you realised you were still on Alex’s shoulder long before you opened your eyes.

You found yourself not wanting to move. The woody scent of his aftershave leaves you in a little trance all the time and you never want to bring yourself out of it. So you just blinked your eyes open slowly and told your body not to even twitch to give away that you were awake.

And Alex didn’t notice because you now see he’s entirely too engrossed in his book. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.

A true classic, you can’t help but tiredly smile as you see he’s about to get to one of your favourite bits of the book. You following pretty easily for a few pages because he’s holding the book open practically as far as it can go (you’re so tired you can find it in yourself to shudder at the fact the book will definitely have a cracked spine) in one hand, and you only noticed when he turned the pages that his other had gone back to gently resting on your thigh.

Everything is good for about 5 minutes, but then the singer started reading too fast for you at one of your favourite bits, so you end up having to say a quiet, “Go back,”

“What?” You feel Alex turn his head towards you a little, his jaw gently nudging your head but you don’t make a single effort to move.

“Hadn’t finished the page,” You tell him and Alex can’t help but smile as he turns the page back for you.

His only indication that you’re ready to move on is the slight nod of your head and Alex even angles the book towards your direction a little more so you can both read. He smiles at the way you haven’t attempted to move from his shoulder at all, seemingly quite comfy.

You both continue reading together for the next few pages until the same thing happens again where Alex turns the page too soon. This time you whine a little as you whisper, “Too fast.”

“Not had you complain about my speed before.” Alex can’t help but tease when the opportunity is right there for the taking, but all it earns him is a poke in his side which makes him jump and he just about peers down at you seeing you smiling victoriously.

After this you fall into a rhythm of you nodding slightly when you're ready for him to turn the page. It doesn’t bother Alex at all, no it's the opposite, he finds you endearing that you’re both enjoying his book and reading it at the same time.

The both of you become entirely engrossed in Jane Eyre’s world that you barely even acknowledge that the plane is just about ready to land. It’s only when the air hostess’ voice fills the plane as they announce over the tannoy that you’d be landing shortly, does Alex close the book.

At the same time you reluctantly pick your head up from his shoulder, Alex offers as he taps the book, “Can borrow it after me if you want?”

“I’ve already read it, I just love that part you’re on.” You hum, smiling at him in earnest, “Thank you though.”

And both of you know you’re not just saying thank you for that offer, but thank you for allowing you to fall asleep on him.

The transfer to the resort even had you in awe. But when you got to the hotel and you entered your room, you were blown away by your view.

The white mountains are stunning and you were so glad you brought your camera. This was something you definitely didn’t want to ever forget.

The air felt like ice on your skin as you took your pictures, the bitter cold making you want to jump into the private hot tub you have on your balcony.

You restrain yourself, saving that for later, you opt for a hot shower to settle you after that flight and you end up falling asleep in the warmest queen sized bed.

You all meet downstairs a few hours later where you get some food and decide that you’re going to all get ready to hit the slopes, you all opting for the red runs for today. They were so much fun and with you skiing, you just find yourself in awe of Flo on her snowboard flying past you all.

It’s a fun few hours, with you all stopping half way down the slope at one of the cafes on the mountain where you all have a hot coffee, and the lads follow it up with a beer. The lads head off before the rest of you, wanting to be speed demons and race down the rest of the way which you’re all fine with.

You know Flo will inevitably end up beating them down anyway. Which she of course did.

Before you set off though, you girls decide that after dinner you’re all going to have a little hot tub party. So that’s how you’re now sinking in the hot tub on your balcony, Katie already in after beating you to being the first.

You just laugh at her rushing in there to beat you, as you take off your hotel dressing gown to reveal your dark green bikini. Katie says she loves the colour of yours as you glance back around at her and tell her you adore her maroon one.

But it’s when you step into the tub that Katie gasps, loud enough for you to pause as you stand in the pool of bubbling water.

“What are they?” Katie points to your thighs with wide eyes.

Your bruised beyond belief thighs. Dark, almost purple bruises that litter the tops of your thighs which were left by the mouth of the singer next door.

“Y/N!” Katie yells, her jaw dropped as she looks at the assault on your skin, “What the fuck?”

“Katie, stop looking at me.” You get all flustered and embarrassed so you're about to sit down, but your best friend grabs your hips to stop you so she can look at the dark marks for longer.

“Oh my fucking god.” She shakes her head, too shocked by the sheer amount of them. “It’s hard not to when you have those on your thighs Y/N!”

“Please stop, can we just pretend you didn’t see them.” You pry yourself out of her grip and finally immerse yourself into the hot water, loving the chill dissipating from your body.

“No, I want the gossip.” Katie grabs her glass of prosecco you’d poured her and left on the side of the tub along with yours and the other girls that were meant to be coming shortly. “How’s it been going between you two?”

“Fine.” You nod with a coy smile as you reach for your glass.

Your best friend shakes her head, “I’m not settling with fine.”

“It’s good.” You take a long sip of your drink, knowing you’ll need it if you’re having this conversation, “I guess he keeps me on my toes.”

“In what way?” She prys.

You think about how to word your feelings for a second. The sound of the jets humming in the cold air fills the brief silence until you end on, “I’m still not used to having a booty call or being one. I still get a text off him and it throws me... He still makes me nervous.”

“That’s good though.” Katie hums and nods, “He’d be boring if he didn’t make you nervous.”

“Yeah, I guess.” You nod in agreement.

But your best friend enquires, “He’s not making you nervous in general now, right? Just when he comes on to you?”

“No, it's a lot better.” You explain honestly, sinking into the water a little more. “But I’m still not at ease if that makes any sense. I still find him difficult to read.”

“That just comes with time.” Katie nods, understanding you entirely, “When you start spending more time with him, you’ll figure it out.”

“Well that doesn’t really happen,” You mumble a little but seeing as she heard you and noting that sparkle in her eye for the gossip, you explain, “He sort of just shows up and we fuck and then he leaves.”

Katie frowns a little at that though, “Thought he took you out?”

“That was just until I felt more comfortable around him. We’ve not carried that on.” You almost cringe when you say, “We’re just shagging now.”

“And how’s that going?” Your best friend smirks, “The bruises seem like a good sign.”

You sigh, “Yeahhh.” taking another sip of your drink.

“What was that sigh for?” She calls you out.

You try to pass it off immediately, “Nothing.”

But she’s not having any of it, “S’not nothing, come on.”

“He was just a tease on the plane but he’s doing it on purpose.” Your cheeks heat up a bit as you tell her.

“Getting you ready for later.” She grins and gives you some teasing suggestive eyes herself.

You gently shake your head, “I don’t think so.”

“Oh?” Katie raises her eyebrows, “What does that mean?”

Oh fuck.

“Don’t make me explain Katie.” You pout.

She pushes you, “Come onnnn.”

You just sigh in defeat and say, “We’re not doing that right now.”

“Excuse me?” Your best friend is now even more confused.

“You heard me Kate.” You sigh, closing your eyes not wanting to explain yet another of your stupid thoughts to her.

For clarity’s sake she has to ask, “Weren’t you with him twice last week?”

“We shagged on Boxing Day and then the 28th and New Years.” You tell her.

And it occurs to you that you’ve probably not been this active on a regular basis since you were in your late teens. Either you or Alex clearly has the sex drive of a teenager and with the state of your thighs, you think it’s more likely Alex.

Glancing at the bruises again you can almost feel the ghost of his mouth there. You fall into the daze of remembering the way his lips attacked the tops of your thighs as he fingered you to edge you, not letting you finish until you were begging to have his tongue instead.

He toyed with you, saying his mouth was already on you, sucking your thighs that bit more before biting them making you whine. But you were desperate to have him eat you out. Have his tongue tease and flick your clit in the way he knows makes you lose your mind.

And he wouldn’t give in. Not until you were on the edge for the third time, right on the verge of getting bratty with him and making the right decision he compensated by eating you out until you came twice on his tongue. And the way he fucked you afterwards, god, you wish-

“And he’s not touched you since?” Katie’s question shocks you back to reality.

You blink a few times, and shake your head, “No.”

She smirks, almost trying to hide it behind her glass, “I bet you’re losing your mind.”

“I feel like it.” You hum, nodding.

Katie asks, fully ready to big you up to go and knock on his door after your girls prosecco party, “Don’t you want him to touch you?”

“I want nothing more at the minute.” You tell her honestly, “But we’re not doing it until after the holiday.”

She frowns, completely confused, “Why?”

Surely on holiday is on of the best places to fuck? Why wouldn’t you be doing that? Katie can’t help but think.

“Because he knew I felt uncomfortable about him paying for me to come and I was worried he’d expect something from me.”

“Y/N.” Her face falls and then she gently scorns you, “He’s not like that.”

“I know he isn’t Katie. But you know how my mind works. It worries me.” You shrug, not really being able to help it.

“Well I thi-“ Katie starts but is interrupted by Florence appearing at the door of your balcony.

“Hey,” You grin, very thankful for the conversation being cut short.

Hopefully never to be brought up again.

“Flo,” Katie smiles and waves her over, “Come in.”

The gorgeous woman walks out and hangs her dressing gown up before running to the tub to escape the chilly air. After commenting on how much both you and Katie like her black, glittery bikini, the artist asks you both, “What were we talking about?”

You try to think of something quickly to change the subject entirely but your best friend gets in there first and grins, “Just how Y/N/N is sleeping with Alex now and she’s seeing if she can go the holiday without.”

You might drown yourself in this hot tub. Can you get any more embarrassed today?

Flo’s smile is huge as her head whips around to you in shock. You can tell she’s happy for you, presumably for Alex too, but she shocks you when she tells you, “Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.”

You’re so beyond confused by that statement until Katie’s eyes go wide as she gasps, “Fuck, I always forget about you two.”

You blink a few times as you hear her tell Katie that it’s understandable she’d forget because it was before her and Jamie got together. But you’re still in shock, you have to get the clarification, “You and Alex?”

You hope it doesn't sound like you’re annoyed because you’re not, no one even Alex has to tell you anything about this and clearly Flo just found out about yours and her ex’s rendezvous. You’re just confused, clearly Katie forgot but you’ve not even heard any jokes about it or any mention of it before now.

“Yeah, a long time ago.” Flo nods and is quick to explain as she grabs her glass of prosecco. “Lost our virginities to each other back in college, but started seeing him years later.”

She continues to explain with a roll of her eyes, “But the idiot was seeing me at the same time as Alexa back on their Favourite Worst Nightmare tour so I held my tongue for about a week until I blew up and called him out in front of all the lads…” She adds quickly, “It got ugly.”

It makes your chest go tight. He did that to one of his best friends years ago, and he did to his girlfriend of three years last year.

You're sincere when you say, “I’m so sorry.”

You feel almost embarrassed to be sleeping with him now. Especially when you’d consider Flo a friend of yours, even before this trip, when you spoke to her about her artwork that she creates at various parties you’ve both attended. She’d always been lovely to you and made you feel entirely at ease.

And now you’re sleeping with her ex. You need the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

“Don’t be, it worked out well in the end.” It seems that the artist can’t keep the smile off her face as she finishes her story, “I went to Manchester and Matty and my cousin, Adam, got me through it. And when the time was right and I was healed, Matty asked me out and now we’ve been together for a decade.” Her grin is huge as she proudly tells you, “Married for three and a half years.”

It’s impossible to not be happy for her, her love for her husband shining through so brightly. But you can’t help but ask her, “Why are you still friends with him? Alex, I mean.”

You can’t imagine anyone betraying your trust that much and being close friends with them years later.

“Oh, it took a long while and a lot of grovelling on his part. But after two years of barely speaking to him, and with how happy I was with Matty, I forgave Al and now we get on like nothing ever happened.” Flo explains, “I see the other lads too often to let it continue for a lifetime of awkwardness.”

She’s a better person than you. You could never.

You think out loud. “The lads didn’t know he was two timing you?”

“No,” She shakes her head, taking a sip of her drink before saying, “They were as shocked as me when Alexa showed up. Only Miles knew, and covered for him.”

You shake your head, seeing Miles in a completely different light now. But you guess if you’re judging Alex by how he’s only been with you, you have to do the same with Miles.

“You’re too good. I would never forgive either of them for that.” Katie gives her two cents on the situation.

“I’ve been told that a lot. By Alex himself too... But despite last year's shit show, he has changed.” Flo assures you, but then smirks, “So enjoy him, queen.”

You sink into the water a bit more, entirely awkward about the way both women are smirking at you.

“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s good.” Flo giggles, “God only knows that if I didn’t call him out to everyone I would have a hard time choosing between him and Matty.”

You’re glad she’s such a lovely person and she eases you entirely.

“Good job you’re married then.” You joke, which makes Katie also spit out her drink laughing and Flo giggles before clinking her prosecco glass with yours.

“You should see her thighs.” Your best friend laughs.

You shoot her the dirtiest look, “Katie!”

~*~*~*~

Thankfully by the time Kristen arrived the subject of you and Alex had long since been dropped.

Flo saw your thighs and she told you about how she thinks the man will never truly grow up because he left lots of love bites on her boobs when they lost their virginities, and mercifully after that, the subject moved away and the four of you are now just chilling and listening to your a playlist that’s blaring through your phone.

You were all giggling at nothing in particular when you got startled by two men at the balcony door. Alex and Jamie come outside in their trunks and Jamie is the one to scoff, “You all thought you could have a party without us.”

Jamie practically jumps in and sits himself down between Flo and Katie, but your attention is drawn to Alex who sinks in beside you and you half find yourself wanting to scurry over to Katie.

He looks too good. Last time you’d seen him shirtless you were drunk and your memory hazy, but he looks so fucking good and his toned abdomen and his trunks low enough for you to clearly see that V line down to- Stop.

Stop.

Thankfully Alex doesn’t seem to notice the way you get a little bit more tense with him beside you. Instead he immediately asks Flo, “How’s Matty, angel?”

“Yeah he’s good, thanks Shakespeare.” Flo smiles, and despite not understanding her nickname for him, you happily listen in to distract yourself.

Maybe it’s to do with the Macbeth reference in If You Were There, Beware? You can’t help but wonder. Maybe you’ll ask her later.

The singer can’t help but ask curiously, “Why didn’t he join us again?”

“Tour rehearsals.” The artist informs him, “His UK tour starts on the ninth.”

“Fair enough,” Alex nods, clearly completely understanding the situation Flo’s husband finds himself in. “I’m glad we aren’t back on the road till late Feb now.”

“Bet you are.” Flo smiles at him but when he tunes into Jamie’s conversation, her eyes flick to you and she smirks.

You sink even further into the water.

Despite Alex now being beside you, you try not to let your nervous energy take over. No, instead you carry on as normal and have some of the funniest conversations with the people around you. You’re only thrown off when you realise that an old Arctic Monkeys song comes on through your phone and your eyes go wide when Jamie sighs, “I haven’t heard this song in so long.”

Immediately, you tense hearing the guitar and drums at the start of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts. Fuck, this is why you don’t normally have your music on around Katie, so you don’t have this awkward interaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was in this playlist.” You say, immediately turning to reach for your phone.

Liar. You feel Alex’s eyes screaming at you, as he looks amused at the fact you like his music, as if he already didn’t know.

“Keep it on.” Jamie tells you, and you hesitate for a split second feeling Alex’s eyes on you until his friend continues to say, “Complete nostalgia of playing it at yours Al.”

“Yeah, it’s a gooden.” Alex smiles.

“Who was this one even about Al?” Flo asks, entirely amused, thankfully stealing the singer's attention away from you so he doesn’t see you starting to fidget, really not wanting the song to stay on.

Your knee is twitching, your foot tapping on the floor of the jacuzzi like you can’t sit still at all. Thankfully the water and the bubbles will be enough to stop you from being noticed though.

“Just that girl I fancied back in Year 11.” Alex explains, “She was in your English lessons, I think she was called-“

If you were to tell the story again, you wouldn’t have been able to name the girl at all. Just that Alex really liked her in school and never got the courage to ask her out and then some guy who was in the year above them in school ended up going out with her.

The conversation moved on and easily past that and your awkwardness about the man you’re sleeping with catching you having his song on your playlist eases off. But then, about 10 minutes later, it happens again.

“Fuck my life,” You whisper immediately reaching to grab your phone this time.

Because this is so much worse.

It’s not just that Piledriver Waltz has started to play. It’s even more embarrassing that it's the Submarine soundtrack version of the song, it’s just Alex. Not even Arctic Monkeys.

“Didn’t know you enjoyed my music this much, sweet.” Alex can’t help but once again tease you. Finding your reactions too entertaining not to.

The panic in your eyes when the first Monkey's song came on, but the way you swore under your breath at this one just made him want to burst out laughing. You look absolutely mortified, and clearly not wanting to get any extra teasing from himself or your friends which you were likely expecting.

But Alex isn’t one to disappoint. So of course he teased you.

You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “In the nicest possible way, fuck off.” Before you quickly look for a playlist that is safe and doesn’t have any of his songs on there.

“It’s all good Y/N.” Alex smirks, “It’s good to know I’m doing something right.”

His hand comes to rest on your thigh to stop your leg from tapping. You swallow, stopping your movements and taking a deep breath to not let it get to you that the others could see his hand on your thigh. Although you’d rather them see his hand there than the bruises he’s left.

Thankfully the bubbles disguise it from everyone else and no one comments, but just as you ask, “What album do you want to listen to?” Miles and Nick turn up at your door with more alcohol in their hands and everyone beckons them in.

Which is an issue for you because the hot tub is probably only meant to have 4 people in it at the most and now there’s 8 of you. So you’re unsure why it’s you and Kirsten that have drawn the short straws, but you’ve both been pulled into the laps of who you’re sleeping with. But one second you were seated closely beside Alex, and now you’re sitting on his lap, your arm having to go over his shoulder so you don't slip off as you lean into him a little.

Kirsten and Nick, you understand, they are married. Flo not sitting in Miles’ lap, you again understand because they aren’t together. What you don’t understand is why Katie isn’t on her husband's lap when they are married and have a child. But you, who has been sleeping with this man for less than a month, has been pulled onto his lap to make more room for everyone.

All of a sudden you feel like you’re holding your breath and can’t relax. After being submerged in the warm water for so long, most of your top half being exposed to the crisp air makes you chilly and your thighs feel far too close to the surface of the water so you feel your hands in your lap to try and disguise the bruises.

Thankfully one of Alex’s arms comes to rest across your thighs too and he holds your thighs again. And you can’t help slipping back into that little daydream of yours.

Of the way he pried your thighs open, as if you weren’t already willing and dripping for him. As if you weren’t begging him to eat you out anyway. And when he finally gave into your demands his fingers only dug into your skin more, holding you open entirely at his mercy.

And when he worked you up and up until he had your back arching and his name caught in your throat as you pulled harshly on his hair. He kept going, eating up everything you had to give him until you were writhing beneath him entirely overstimulated.

After he blissfully tortured you like that, he kissed his way up your body until you could taste yourself on his tongue. And that only lead to him fucking you till you could barely move. His cock made you see stars when he hooked his arms under your legs and moved them closer to your chest.

The pleasure he drove into you over and over was blinding, you saw white when you came. The only thing you can remember is the way Alex groaned into your ear when you clenched around him and the way he moaned when you tugged on his sweaty hair. And the way he bit your shoulder when he got his release not a minute later.

Not to mention the way he flipped you over when you both caught your breaths and he fu-

“I can feel you.” Alex's whisper startles you out of your memory and your eyes snap to the man you were daydreaming about.

You all but jump off his lap, your heart racing ten to the dozen feeling like you’ve been caught red handed. But you keep calm, not letting your cheeks heat up to give you away.

“Feel what?” You ask him, the shock slowly disappearing from your face.

“Your pulse,” Alex tells you in a low voice, his grip on you tightening, “On my thigh.”

And it dawns on you what he means. You’re fucking throbbing, completely aching at the thought of him. And he can fucking feel you.

Fuck offfffffff. Men can actually feel that?!

No. No. No.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb, having to because you don’t think you’ll be able to look at him again if not.

Not that you can right now, you just look at Flo and start listening to her, Miles, and Kirsten’s conversation. Meanwhile praying to every god that there is that you calm the fuck down and you stop being horny immediately.

“Course you don’t, sweet.” Alex kisses your shoulder and his lips linger on your skin as he smirks, “Just like you can’t feel me.”

You’re about to ask him what he means until he shifts you against him more and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh. He’s hard. Really hard. You have to hold in the sound you want to make.

Why the fuck did you want this ‘no fucking’ shit. You can’t stop thinking about him. The way you want to kiss him. The way you want him in your mouth. The way you want him to fill you up and fuck you like it’s the last time you’re ever going to be able to.

You don’t even realise what you’re doing until Alex grunts in your ear, “I’d stop wriggling unless you want me to fuck you in front of these lot.”

Your thighs press against each other and you pray Alex didn’t feel that too. Despite him definitely noticing, Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t tease you any more and you just about managed to have a conversation with Flo about how she’s joining her husband on his tour and how she’s going to stay in Sheffield for a while after to see her best friend.

But it’s not long after that, the alcohol runs dry and everyone notices the time. Nick and Kirsten are the first to leave, followed by Katie and Jamie, and when you don’t move from Alex’s lap (because he won’t let you, his hands clutching you tightly after you tried to move when the first couple left. Clearly doesn’t think the bubbles will hide his hard on) Flo and Miles are the last to get out.

Miles gives you both a cheeky smile and he helps the artist out of the tub and hands her the dressing gown. Both of them say bye to you and Alex but Florence gives you a teasing look as she leaves, seeming to scream at the both of you, have funnn.

Your jaw locks and you very subtly shake your head at her, trying your absolute best to keep the smile off your face and show your strength. And you’d say you do well, you shout an unbothered bye to the direction they went and only when you hear your bedroom door thud shut does Alex’s hold on you go slack.

And finally you release the breath you were holding and grab the side of the tub to stand up, needing off this man's lap before you do something you’ll regret. Abandoning your empty prosecco glass you just get yourself stood up when the singer stops you.

“Where are you going?” Alex gently grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him, the water sloshing as you fall back towards him.

“Alex,” You sigh as he moves you so you’re straddling him, but before you can even protest his mouth finds yours.

His kiss takes your breath away, and he doesn’t give you time to think. He just wants you to feel.

Alex attacks you with long kisses, three of them that have you forgetting that you were even trying to get away. It’s as if something ignites in you both, the mere connection of your lips has your skin erupting in goosebumps, and they aren’t from the contrast with the hot water and the cold air.

But you seem to get some perspective and much to Alex’s disappointment, you pull back from the kiss. But he doesn’t let you go far at all, his hand on the back of your neck keeps you close enough your foreheads are resting against each others.

“It’s just a kiss.” Whispers the man who’s got your heart racing, his hand pulling your neck that bit closer hoping you’ll kiss him again.

“It’s never just a kiss with you,” You breathlessly reply, gently shaking your head, your nose rubbing against his.

When he pulls you back for another kiss you can’t deny yourself the simple pleasure. Because it is never just a kiss.

And it isn’t, because you’re not sure what this one is laced with, but you’re addicted. You don’t want to stop for a single second, especially not when he grabs your hips with both hands and pulls you against him properly.

Your back arches, your chest against his now and he can feel your peaked nipples through your bikini top. He can’t help but groan, he’s been wanting to feel them against him in some capacity since he saw them through your bikini top when he lifted you onto his lap and you got cold and his head filled with filth about you.

About how he wanted to pinch them between his fingers so you’d make that noise he loves. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about his head being back between your thighs when he spotted the bruises he’d left there. About how he wanted nothing more than to tease you in front of his friends, to see how far he could push you out of your comfort zone. And after he could feel you throbbing on his thigh he wanted nothing more than to make you cum over and over again.

This kiss turns hard and hungry and it takes you enough by surprise that if you were standing you’d have stumbled back with the force of it. As you’re on his lap though, you can’t escape and you don’t for a second want to. Alex’s hands move your hips so you start grinding on him and both of you moan at the friction.

You hope that the rumble of the jets hides them from anyone other than the two of you, and you pray to every god that Katie and Jamie haven’t decided to go into their hot tub as they are the room beside yours. Despite the wooden panelling hiding the balconies completely from potential neighbours, you need to keep quiet. But it’s so difficult when he’s making you feel so good.

The more you grind against him, the more you can feel your stomach tighten with need. The way Alex is dragging you against his cock just makes you worse, your clit finally getting the friction it’s been aching for.

Minutes pass of your whining, gasping, and mewling as he encourages you, taking handfuls of your arse to pull you towards him as he bucks his hips up into yours. His moans motivate you more, your hips now erratic in search for relief as he kisses you.

Alex licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough of the way you taste. His groans spur you on, and his hand moving up to the middle of your waist has you arching into his chest again, and he can’t help but move his hips in time with yours, loving the little whines that escape your pretty lips.

But he needs to hear more, so when you tug on his hair, and he bucks up into you, he bites your bottom lip when you moan so he can muffle it with his own lips. He smirks when he pulls away and he grabs your face, his thumb and index finger pressing your cheeks together as he grinds you against him again, his fingers digging into your hip ensuring it.

The moan you let out for him then, you can’t suppress, and by the way Alex’s eyes seem to sparkle with delight shows you just how satisfied the sound makes him. Like it was intent all along to have you be loud for him.

“Do I feel good, sweet?” His voice a low whisper that has your throat bobbing.

The singer kisses his way up your jaw before biting your earlobe, and he clearly wants an answer, “Well?” His hand falling from your cheeks to your neck and the slightest pressure has your head in pieces.

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement pulling back enough to grab his jaw and bring his lips back up to yours.

You refuse to let him mark your neck up again, no matter how good his lips feel on your throat. And at this point you know he’d do it just to get the both of you caught to see if you could withstand your friends teasing.

This between you carries on for longer than it should. But that pull, that spark, between you, now ignited neither of you can get enough.

“You like knowing you get me this hard, just from seeing the bruises I left on your thighs?” Alex rasps, as he kisses slowly down your neck.

At this point, you think you’d do just about anything to have his lips on you or on your skin somehow. It’s addicting. So much so that you don’t remember the silly rule that you agreed upon, especially when Alex moves his hand

“From seeing these,” Alex hums against your neck as his thumbs circling both your nipples through your bikini. “I can still feel them on my chest from the other night.”

His lips trail down your neck and the top of your chest and he kisses over your skin and his hands grab at you that bit tighter as he says, “I want my mouth all over you, sweet.”

His thumbs hook into your bikini top and he pulls both cups to the side, leaving you bare for him. His lips are on your breast in a second and the other he kneads in his calloused hand.

Your head falls back, a moan falling freely from your lips as you grind yourself onto his cock as he sucks your nipple. Needing as much friction as you can get because you could easily finish like this if he carried on. But god, you want him inside you instead.

Picking your head up, your fingers tug in his hair encouraging him as his right hand now grabs your arse again making you move on him. Fuck, you could cum just from this, easily if he carries on.

He swaps to your other tit, lapping at it and savouring the sweetness of your skin and he can’t help but moan when you rut against him again. God, he just wants to have you like this forever, just free of inhibitions and completely giving into your desire.

“Well, sweet? You like knowing what you do to me?” He teases, but he takes it a step further and he reaches between you and he presses circles onto your clit through your clothes, “That I like feeling this greedy thing throbbing on my lap for me?”

The sound you let out is guttural and completely obscene. To mute it you harshly pull his hair so you can press your lips against his to quieten yourself. But fuck knows if he even helps.

His sweet torture continues and you feel the tension forming in your lower stomach, flames scorching your limbs, all caused by the man who’s name falls from your lips in desparate pleas, “Alex.”

His kiss is hot and heavy like a man starved, like he could never get enough of you. His hands claiming you is something promise you’ll never deny yourself the pleasure of again, those magic fucking fingers have you seeing stars. Each swipe of them against your clothed clit pushes you closer towards that delightful edge.

“I- Al, oh.” Fuck. You’re going to finish, this is it and it’s going to shatter you entirely.

His warm hands on you, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your own, his body heat making your nipples perk from the stimulation. And his fucking cock that you’re aching to have inside you, he’s so hard all you can think about is reaching down and moving your costume to the side so you can line him up and fill you to the br-

So consumed with your thoughts and your erratic hips chasing the orgasm you're on the verge of having you miss the singer mumble against your lips, “Okay, that’s enough.”

You only register when Alex’s hand now holds your hip to stop you from moving and you hear him say, “Stop, sweet.”

“No,” You helplessly whine, entirely cockdrunk at this point, wanting him too badly and you kiss him deeply again.

But Alex only entertains the kiss for another second, before he pulls away and to stop your lips from following his again, he holds your jaw, “If you keep kissing me, we’re not going to make it another minute.”

You’re so breathless you barely understand what he means. But as you take a minute to get some oxygen back into your system you realise what you’ve done and god you want to lock yourself up and throw away the key.

“I’m sorry.” You swallow, looking away from his gaze.

“Don’t apologise.” Alex shakes his head, and you note he’s just as out of breath as you. And he gently readjusts your bikini so it’s covering your modesty again as he says, “We agreed on your rule, sweet, don’t wanna break it on day one now, do we?”

It’s his smirk that he gives you as he says the end of that which makes you say, “You’re a bully.”

Because he’s got you all hot and bothered, only to completely edge you and use ‘your rule’ as an excuse to leave you right on the brink. God you could absolutely throttle him. But knowing Alex, he’d enjoy it, so you keep your hands to yourself.

The singer just laughs, “You love it.” And he taps your arse under the water to prompt you to stand up so he can too.

Jesus Christ it’s only now that you realise how perishing the cold is, you practically jump out of the tub and run for your dressing gown before heading to the door. And you’re kind enough to hold the door open for Alex as he wraps his towel around his shoulders.

It’s only now that you gulp seeing just how little the swim shorts disguise his erection. Standing at attention is an understatement, and there’s a little spark of pride that scorches your blood knowing you’ve caused that.

You don’t let your eyes linger, but you know from the smug smirk on his face as he walks through the door that he’s caught you looking. And the prick opens his mouth, probably to bully you once more but you beat him to it as you close and lock the balcony door.

“You don’t care about the rule, why’d you stop when I was clearly enjoying myself?” You ask as you follow him to the door to your room.

“Because you were dead set about not wanting to before we came.” Alex tells you sincerely, and you can’t help your heart from warming that little bit as he looks you in the eye and says, “I don’t want you regretting anything between us.”

Swallowing down the smile you want to plaster all over your face, you tell him, “I don’t regret what just happened, for the record.”

“Good.” Alex smiles, walking the last few steps to your door. And the singer is about to open it before he pauses, turns back and tells you, “Oh, and don’t get yourself off.”

Immediately you frown a little. It’s a miracle your words don’t come out as a scoff, “Don’t think you have that authority.”

The smirk that comes to those pretty swollen lips and the way his eyes darken is something that needs capturing in a museum. Fucking hell it’s definitely banked away in a certain area of your mind.

“I could just fuck you now if you’re going to do that.” Alex raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’so putting the offer out there.

But after him saying it’s only day one, you’re definitely not giving in now. A week without fucking him. You can do it. You just can’t fucking slip up again. How embarrassing of you to have given in to your temptations only mere hours after your holiday began.

Alex seems to understand your thoughts entirely so he quickly saves himself from a scolding, “Think of it as being edged instead, don’t touch yourself. It’ll make next week more fun.”

Your still fucking throbbing for him, aching isn’t even the right word for the need for relief you’re feeling. It looks like your bullet won’t be being used while you’re away after all. But if you’re showing restraint, you certainly won’t be the only one.

You nod, the corner of your lips tugging up a little seeing Alex smile down at you and as he reaches from the door handle to let himself out, you surprise him by saying, “Don’t touch yourself either then.”

He looks at you again, his eyes entirely full of surprise that you’ve given him an order. But he’ll do it for you. He won’t be a double standard, so he agrees.

Although when he opens the door and takes a step out, and you tell him, “Go get a cold shower.” He loves your brattiness.

“Could share one of those?” Alex offers as he takes a step back towards you, his eyes bright and full of mischief as he smirks down at you.

All you can think is, And end up having a repeat of the first time you were in the shower with him? No chance.

“See you tomorrow, Alex.” You smile, placing a hand on his bare chest and pushing him towards the door perpendicular to yours.

Alex chuckles, blowing you a teasing kiss, “Goodnight, sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 4th 2019 ~*~*~*~

To say that the next couple of days were positively torturous would be a massive understatement. The cold shower you had after Alex left your room that first night didn’t do much to calm you down, the ache between your thighs didn’t disappear until well into the night of you tossing and turning in bed.

At one point you were ready to march into his room and tell him how unfair it is to leave you on edge like that, and that it was unfair because you’d be so pent up that you’d have a miserable holiday. But then you’d realise you’d see the singer's smug smirk and he’d say something along the lines of, ‘You’re so greedy that you come begging me to get you off, is that it? You can’t go even a few hours without me, can you not? You poor sweet thing.’

So you chose to stay warm in bed, following his direction of not getting yourself off and you eventually fall asleep. You swear though that if he got himself off and didn’t stick through this with you, you’d be absolutely fuming.

And you can’t help but be pleased when Alex eventually joins you all for breakfast the next morning, and he made a thunderstorm look appealing. ‘In a mood’ would be an understatement. The singer looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, he hadn't even bothered with his hair, it was still dishevelled, and his glum, tired face had a smile tugging on your lips.

Good. You like knowing you’re not the only one who felt absolutely tortured.

You had to hide your smirk by taking a drink of your orange juice, sipping it through the straw as your eyes linger on the singer who looks like he could commit a murder if his breakfast was served wrong. Clearly though, you’re not being as slick as you thought you were hiding your amusement by taking a drink because when Alex’s eyes lock with yours he sees the knowing in them.

Instead of shying away from him though, you stare straight into his eyes and let your smirk show when you pull your drink out. You even raise your eyebrows at him entirely enthralled that he looks so much worse than you this morning. Looks like it’ll be cold showers for him for the foreseeable future.

Alex couldn’t help but find you equally as amusing that morning at breakfast. The smile stayed on your face for the entirety of your meal and he could tell that seeing him so affected by the lack of your company had somehow boosted your confidence. So, pent up he may be, but he’d suffer in silence for as long as he needed to see that smug look on your face once more.

Alex made sure his teasing continued throughout that day and the next. His flirting and lingering looks had you more on edge than usual thanks to the fact you felt entirely touch-starved, but you couldn’t deny that he had your heart racing.

On the slopes he would sometimes wait for you if he wasn’t racing the boys or Flo down the mountain, to make sure you got down alright and there would be flirting when you’d stopped at the cafe’s that were half way down the slope. And he had you buy him the promised drinks that made you come on this holiday in the first place so you were happy keeping your end of that bargain.

He really made you smile today when you had a bit of a fall on the slope. He watched you fall but he stopped right beside you and made sure you were okay before getting you back to your feet and he went down the slope as by your side as he could get. And when you both reached the bottom, he played into checking you over, being cheeky and saying he’d have to get the layers off you to make a complete and thorough check. Something which of course you rolled your eyes at but you couldn’t keep the smile from your face.

When you walked out of your room each night dressed to go for dinner he told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress when he saw you, whether that be him stepping out of his room at the same time coincidentally or when you walked down with Katie and he was waiting for you with the other lads. Tonight was the latter and the way he looked you up and down made you feel all tingly inside.

And this evening at dinner he sat beside you and when you were waiting between courses, Alex rested his hand on your thigh, and it wasn’t at all to try and rile you, he seemed to just want to be affectionate. And Flo is right, why would you deny yourself that pleasure.

You know you’re nowhere near a relationship, or possibly even heading into that direction. But this fun you’re having with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t take comfort from the small meaningful gestures that you’ve found that you’ve missed since your last relationship.

So yes, you’ve adored the flirting, and matched his energy entirely by giving him back as much as good as you’ve got which grants you access to that cheeky smirk you’re starting to love being the cause of. You pretend like your heart doesn’t do something stupid when he’s affectionate and you’ll continue to act like you aren’t dying for him to touch you and kiss you and fuck you until you’re back home.

And all of this is the reason why right now, you’re absolutely seething at yourself. Why you’re now at this bar, side-eyeing the man who’s had you at whit's end for the past few days wanting god to do you a favour and stop what you’re seeing.

You hate it, you absolutely hate it. Seeing Alex’s hand on her hip, the way he smiles at her as she’s talking, and the way he’s making this random girl laugh.

It’s been at least 15 minutes now since he went up to the bar to get himself another drink and left your group at the few standing tables in the corner which you’d all claimed. And when you looked over after 5 minutes of him disappearing, you saw him at the bar talking away with possibly the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen.

Intimidated isn’t even the word you could use to compare yourself to the stunning woman. She’s just everything you’re not. Clearly she's confident to speak to a stranger normally and not at 100 miles per hour because she’s nervous. She’s absolutely gorgeous with the complete opposite hair colour and style to yours, and her dress accentuates all of her features perfectly, leaving little to everyone’s imagination but she’s so gorgeous and fearlessly self assured, there’s no way you could possibly compete with a woman like her.

Your chest sinks because it’s so easy for you to realise just how jealous of this woman you are. Not just because she holds Alex’s attention and you want that back for yourself, you’re just hit with that intimidatingly jealous feeling you’ve not experienced for such a long time. And it’s such a dirty feeling, you really judge yourself for it.

Because you’re well aware you’re not in a relationship with the singer. Yes you’re fucking each other but he could easily call that off at any point, especially on holiday when you’ve established you’re not sleeping with each other and that will make your self esteem plummet and not to be dramatic but you’ll more than likely never put yourself out there again, and you think that is valid enough if that’s how this night ended.

To make it worse, the ladies you’re with, your close friends can clearly see that you’re slipping into a foul mood. A few times you’ve been asked what’s wrong, and you’d have to tune back into conversations and plaster a fake smile on your face because you’ve got so stupidly in your head about all of this.

It was only when Katie followed your gaze to the bar did she realise what was making you slip into a bad mood. On the down low, when Kirsten and Flo were having their own conversation, Katie said, “Y/N/N?”

“Hmm?” You hum, tearing your eyes away from a laughing Alex and the stunning woman.

You look at your best friend as she seriously asks, “What are you waiting for?”

Immediately, you’re confused, “What?”

Katie can’t help but laugh to herself a little as you’re being so blatantly obvious to her. And she can’t lie, she secretly loves seeing you jealous, because she’s never witnessed it before. And the mere fact you’re being silently possessive over Alex is all the more amusing to her.

“Just go and get him.” She encourages you, seeing that you’re holding your glass of wine that little bit too tight.

She understands that you’re probably that bit more jealous too because you are bordering on being a little bit drunk. Your tolerance is slightly better than hers and she knows that you’ve drank near enough the same amount so she’s very aware how your thoughts are probably being manipulated by the alcohol.

“No, if he wants to play he can,” You tell her and put on a brave face, turning away from him now in an attempt to not shoot daggers at him with your eyes, “He just won’t be getting me again afterwards.”

And you mean it. You won’t get caught up in that STD mess waiting to happen. Condoms or not. It’s a no from you.

You drink with the girls a bit more then, the other lads make you laugh too but after a few minutes you become all too aware again that there’s a missing piece. And it’s like a wound to the chest when you see he’s still there talking to that woman and they seem to be standing that little bit closer, smiles still on both of their faces.

Something about it hurts, and not due to the fact he’s being flirted with. It mostly gets to you because he’s being so kind to someone he’s just met and you only got that side of him after a ten years and only when you called him out for his behaviour. It makes your heart sink a little, you just don’t know why he wasn’t ever this friendly toward you when you were first introduced, yet he can be so kind, smiley, and flirty to a complete stranger.

Up until 6 months ago, Alex would barely hold a conversation with you and something about that always hurt. The effort you’d make only for it to go unreciprocated when he probably knew how much it took for you to not be socially awkward around him. It’s a blow to your chest and to your ego.

And to make it worst, he’s flirting with this girl as if you haven’t been fucking each other for a month and he didn’t almost fuck you in the hot tub the other night. As if the bruises he left on your thighs aren’t still very prominent and he didn’t edge you, leaving you craving every little bit of him for the last two days. And now he’s flirting with someone that isn’t you.

And you can’t even blame the woman for flirting with him. He looks impeccable this evening. He’s in a black suit with a black shirt and he looks incredible. Like you’d do just about anything for him to pull you aside in this darkened bar and for him to whisper filthy promises in your ear before his lips find yours and he takes your breath away all over again.

But you’re not so lucky. And your mood worsens when you see the bartender come back with two drinks in his hands and he places them in front of the pair. But it’s when Alex gets his card out and seemingly pays for both does your heart drop.

Has he just fucking bought her a drink?

You blink a few times and force yourself to look away. The feeling that’s settled in your stomach not being one that you want to ever be feeling. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and you wish it wasn’t running through your veins right now so you try and breath through it, letting the thoughts pass you by as quickly as they come.

The people that know you best though, can see you’ve sort of checked out from the conversations surrounding you, and you’re staring out of the window at the snow that’s beginning to gently fall. Your best friend knows it’s not the same zoned out as you were awestruck when you first arrived on this holiday though, it’s due to you being in your head because of the man at the bar.

And it seems Katie isn’t the only one, because Flo asks Mrs Cook quietly, “Should I go tell him?”

Katie notes that she nods over towards the bar, but your best friend immediately shakes her head.

“No,” She tells her, “Let him dig his own grave.”

Because after everything last year, she wants Alex to prove himself worthy of having her best friend. She knows you deserve something good, and despite being 99% sure that Alex is just being polite to a fan at the bar, she wants him to prove that he wouldn’t ruin this good thing that you both have going for the sake of another woman who could pass as a model.

So Katie distracts you, getting another glass of wine down you is easy to do and she has you giggling with her and Flo again.

While you adore your friends for their distraction tactics, Alex and the stunning woman linger in your mind, and you feel like you need a second to quieten those intrusive thoughts. So you head to the toilet in hopes to clear your head but when you hold the sink and look at your reflection the clarity that hits you is that you’re drunk and probably (most definitely) overreacting, and you just find yourself wanting to close your eyes.

So that’s why when you make your way back to your friends, who Alex is still not with, you decide your night is done.

“Guys, I’m going to head back.” You tell all of them, “The wine has gone to my head and I’m so tired after today.”

Each and every one of their faces fall and they all start a little bit of a commotion, shaking their heads and shout over each other drunkenly pleading with you not to go. But it’s a singer who is the one that complains the loudest.

“Noooo come on, Y/N/N.” Miles throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he says, “Party with us.”

You smile at him but there’s no way you’ll be giving in. You need your bed. And to get away from Alex and the stunning woman taking all of his attention at the bar.

“Miles, you saw the fall I had earlier today,” You almost wince at the memory, “I’m knackered and just wanna get in bed so I’m good again tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jamie offers but immediately you shake your head, having none of it.

“No, you’re having a great time, stay out. Have fun.” You smile, giving him a look to say ‘do not put on your coat’ as you put on your own.

You’ll be perfectly fine getting back by yourself, everywhere is lit well enough to make the 5 minute walk back feel safe. And you could certainly use the time to clear your head.

So you just smirk, wrapping your coat around you and downing the last of your white wine. And you grin, “I'll see you all hungover for breakfast in the morning.”

They all laugh at your little joke, knowing it’ll more than likely come to fruition, before they pull you into hugs goodbye. Flo, you realise, gives the best hugs out in the group, and she holds you tightly as she whispers in your ear, “Are you sure?”

You don’t hesitate to nod, “Positive.”

She pouts a little as you pull away from the hug but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to have another drink for you which makes her giggle and she promises she will. And then the only person left over here you have to hug is your very drunk best friend, and Katie all but smothers you with her bear hug.

God you adore your best friend so much. Or you do until she easily reads between the lines and questions your actions.

“This isn’t to do with Alex, is it?” She asks, pouting like she’s both angry and upset, “Because you can’t let him spoil your fun.”

You hate that she knows you so well, but wanting to go back to your hotel room is only marginally to do with Alex at this point. You know if you drank anymore tonight you’d be worse for wear tomorrow and you don’t want to ruin this precious holiday by staying in your room wanting to throw up.

“No, I'm just tired.” You lie, trying not to even think about the fact that Alex not really giving you any attention and flirting with another girl was what triggered your bad mood in the first place. You tell her, “I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Okay queen.” Katie nods before she pulls back and she looks into your eyes to seriously tell you, “Text me as soon as you get back to the hotel, okay?”

“I will.” You promise her and after she gives you another hug, you turn to leave.

You avoid looking anywhere near the bar even though you have to pass it to leave, but you’re quick and you leave out of the side doors and make it down the stairs fairly quickly. The automatic doors expose you to the cold air quickly and you’re so thankful you chose your long, navy dress this evening, even if you were regretting the slit in it that comes up to just above your knee when the wind hits you.

Thankfully, your ‘going out coat’ is a long one, coming down to just past your knees, and would retain most of your body heat, so as you walk towards the doors you start to slowly button it up. But your buttons aren’t cooperating, they won't go through the bloody buttonhole. Clearly nothing wants to go right for you this evening.

And you end up not paying attention to where you’re going as you walk out of the bar, you don’t realise that the smoking areas out front has gotten busier so you end up turning to head back to your hotel and you bump into someone at quite a little bit of force. Immediately, you end up almost slipping too, not realising that the ground has become slippy too thanks to the fresh snow landing and melting. But before you fall arse over tit, you're saved by your own victim. The poor man you bumped into.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You say as you grab onto his tattooed arm that stabled you.

And it’s only when you’re sure you’re steady on your feet do you look at the exquisite man. A gasp almost leaves your mouth at just how attractive he is. The strong jawline, the short black hair, the sun kissed skin, and possibly the most stunning eyes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. They are such a gorgeous shade of blue they almost look purple, and God, you half wish you could stare into them all night.

“No worries,” The man holding your arm says, and once he’s satisfied you can stand properly again, his eyes drop to take you in.

It makes you feel like your heart is in your throat for the two seconds he checks you out, but under the stare of those gorgeous eyes, it feels like it lasts an age. You can’t help watching as a small smirk forms on his lips, clearly pleased with what he sees and when his eyes meet yours again, you feel like your knees could fall from under you again if he wasn’t still holding you up. He’s dream worthy.

His fingers move down your wrist and he gently comes to squeeze your hand as he smirks but endearingly says, “Careful darling.”

Immediately, the pet name makes you flush, and under his gaze you feel like you’re vibrating somehow, and you realise just how badly you need to get yourself back to your hotel. So to not make a fool out of yourself again, you cut the situation short.

“Thank you.” You give him a gracious smile and a small nod of your head before turning towards your hotel and safely begin to rush off.

In your peripherals, you see the two other men that the stunning man was accompanied by and you’re glad you didn’t interact with them too, because they look just as attractive as their friend. You’d surely crumble under their gazes and start awkwardly chatting their ears off so you’re pleased to get away from both them and that bar.

At least this gives your drunk mind a quick distraction from wondering what Alex and that girl are currently up to. You try not to think about how cosy they might have got or if either of them have made a move. No, you’d rather think about your embarrassing encounter with a model worthy guy who then checked you out and you said thank you to him.

Thank you? God, you’re so fucking stupid for saying thank you Y/N/N, that doesn’t even make sense. Thank you for me bumping into you and being so kind about it? What was the thank you for? Silly bitch.

God you really need to get to sleep. Your brain is absolutely spinning.

Instead you find yourself focussing on the crunch of snow under your boots, how you can see your breath in front of you. And the gentle light coming from the lampposts illuminates the snow that’s slowly falling from the sky and you can’t help but think that it’s so beautiful despite it being so cold.

Finally you manage to do up the buttons of your coat and your hands are stuffed in your pockets as you carry on walking. But it’s only a few seconds later, you hear your name being shouted behind you. You think you’re hearing things so you don’t stop walking, but then you hear someone running behind you and a gentle call of, “Sweet.” As he begins to slow down.

Alex is out of breath by the time he’s beside you, and a gentle hand on your arm stops you from walking. A mixture of emotions runs through you in that moment, happy that he’s not with that girl anymore is certainly one of them, but annoyance at him for him even flirting with someone else hits you all over again.

And it just makes your mood worse, because you absolutely despise being jealous. You hate it. You hate the tightness in your chest and you hate the way you start to second guess everything. And you don’t think you should be second guessing if you’re good enough.

But you keep all of that to yourself, not wanting to annoy Alex or appear jealous or be overbearing. You’re just drunk and you need to get over yourself.

“Sweet.” Alex says a little out of breath, “What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” You say more flatly than you meant to and turn to carry on walking to the hotel.

You’d scorn yourself for it, but you’re glad Alex doesn’t pick up on your tone. He just follows after you, falling into step as he asks, “Why are you leaving so early?”

“It’s almost one Alex,” You tell him, “I’m tired.”

You’re certainly not telling him that he’s a part of the reason you’re leaving. Even if he has finally given someone else the time of day for a brief minute tonight.

Trying not to focus on the mixed emotions cursing through you, you end up telling the singer, “You don’t have to walk me back, go back to the bar.”

“And let you walk back on your own at one in the morning?” Alex frowns down at you, “I don’t think so.”

You shake your head slightly at that, knowing he’s just doing that because of the story you told him about how you don’t like to walk alone at night. But you don’t want him here solely because of that. “I don’t need your pity.”

“There’s no pity, I’m just not a dickhead, sweet.” Alex’s smile then turns into a smirk as he throws his arm around your shoulders and he pulls you against him, “Now let me keep you warm.”

Your chest feels lighter somehow at his actions, and it makes you feel all gooey and smiley inside. But your brain is telling you to keep a hard exterior after what you witnessed tonight, so you try and brush him off, “Al, I’m fine.”

But the singer is having none of it. He just holds you tighter teases, “You’re moody.”

“I’m tired.” You correct him, even though you’re lying through your teeth.

“With your little rule, I thought you would have been reserving more energy.” Alex smirks, not being able to pass on the opportunity to torture you that little bit more.

You don’t mute your scoff at that, and decide that silence is what he deserves after that comment and him flirting with someone else all evening. And it hits you all over again how up until a few months ago you’d only get silence and sneers from him, but that woman at the bar instantly got smiles and flirting. It makes you want to push his arm off your shoulder and you fall silent again.

It’s confusing. Wanting to scold him but then also lean into him and accept the joy the simple pleasure of him hugging you brings you. And you’re feeling it all at once. You don’t understand it and don’t really know how to process it.

Sleep. You need sleep.

With his free hand, Alex digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his gloves, noticing you’re shivering, “Here take these.”

“Thank you.” You accept them quietly and graciously and don’t waste much time putting them on, even if they are too big for you.

Alex smiles once you have them on, and he squeezes your shoulder that bit tighter as he grins, “They suit you.”

“Bit big, but I'll take it.” You shrug a little, and give him a bit of a smile so you don’t look like a colossal bitch. It was a kind gesture after all.

Alex grins back down, his eyes bright as he says with a knowing look, “Well, you know what they say about big hands, sweet.”

Holding your own smile back, you fake a roll of your eyes and look away from him, “You’re not funny.”

“What?” Alex asks, faking innocence but smirking, “Just big gloves, nothing untoward.”

You share an amused look then, both looking into each other's eyes and knowing for certain that was not what he was meaning. In those few seconds though, you can’t help but notice how gorgeous he looks, with the snow falling down around him, a few flakes having found home in his hair and he just looks so pretty and happy.

You always want to look at him and see that cheeky smile looking back down at you. It makes you feel all warm inside.

But then that crude sense of humour has to go and ruin the moment.

“Anyway,” He smirks, “You already know how big I am. I don't think I need to remind you just yet.”

The way your cheeks heat up immediately is almost as embarrassing as the way your gaze snaps away from his. You just try to act nonchalant about it, shaking your head, “Way to lower the tone.”

“I think it was your dirty mind that lowered the tone, sweet.” Alex laughs and he has you giggling along with him.

It doesn’t take long to get back to the hotel, and you walk in a comfortable silence with your head finally not filled with everything to do with the bar. You just enjoy having his attention back, and that he keeps pulling you back into him, and rubbing the top of your arm in an effort to keep you warm.

You expect the singer to walk you into the lobby and bid you goodnight there before he heads back out to your other friends. But he surprises you, stepping into the lift with you and even when you’re going up to your floor he keeps his arm around you like he doesn’t want to let you go.

“Thank you for walking me back, you really didn’t have to.” You tell him after he walks you to your door and you get your keycard out of your pocket.

Only when you look at him again does he tell you, “Stop thanking me for being a decent human being.”

You smile at him for a second there, and it is a truly grateful one. Despite everything tonight, you really are thankful he came back with you. If not for your safety, but then at least for your peace of mind about what he was up to when you left. Your chest fills with the hatred of the jealousy you’re feeling once more.

But it’s like the man looking at you can somehow read your emotions. Because he once again flips them on their head when he takes you in again and sees how gorgeous you look in that navy dress and the way it hugs you.

He seems a little breathless as he says, “You really do look incredible tonight by the way.”

You look down at yourself, really not thinking you looked anything more than presentable tonight. But two men have checked you out this evening and seemed pleased with what they saw, and you know Alex well enough now to know that he doesn’t just say these things, he actually means them.

“I- Thank you.” You stumble for a second, but gladly take the compliment.

As you turn to open your door, Alex takes a step towards his, which makes you frown. He’s going to bed?

“You can go back out, you know?” You say before he even takes another step.

You don’t really understand why he’d be going to his room when he could go back out and have a good time with either your friends or the stunning woman he was chatting to. Surely he didn’t just leave because you did?

Alex shrugs, and takes a step back towards you, “Don’t want to.”

“Why?” You can’t help but question, “Looked like you were having a good time.”

“Not that good, I wasn’t spending it with you.” Alex shamelessly flirts as he comes to stand right beside you again, hoping to see you get all flustered.

He adores being the cause of it, and he even likes when you run your mouth back at him and flirt with him too. It makes him happier than he should admit to himself at this point in your little arrangement. But you shock him completely and don’t do either of those things.

No, instead Alex watches as you tense slightly and you become ridged. The smile falling from your face entirely.

“You knew where I was.” You shrug, not knowing what more you could have done. It’s not like you could go up to him and demand his attention, or steal him away and he figures out why and he teases you for it.

You just turn back towards your door and mumble under your breath as you put the card in, “Besides, it seems that you found her quite interesting.”

This has Alex smirking, possibly the biggest he ever has. Not that you can see that smirk as you’re still fumbling about with your keycard and putting it in the door the wrong way. So it gives him a little time to compose himself enough that you won’t hate him when he gets you to look at him again.

You’re jealous. Hence the mood, short replies, and the pout that was just seeping onto your face… It all makes perfect sense now.

Alex tones his smirk down into a slight grin before he get your attention again, “Sweet?”

“What?” You ask, just about managing to open your door before you turn back to him.

And it’s only when you do, you see the way he’s looking at you. His amusement is clear to see, but he doesn’t say anything. He just takes a step close to you, and before you really know it his lips are on yours and he gently eases you backwards until your back is against the heavy door you’ve not opened more than an inch.

It’s a sweet kiss, full of longing and care and words you’ve both yet to say. And the way he gently holds your waist, pulling you against him now, his arm running inside your coat and around your back so he can press you fully against him as his lips move in sync with yours. His hand on your jaw moves that bit higher, so his thumb can caress your cheek and you think this might be the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared.

It’s gentle and full of emotion, even when his tongue finds home with yours. It makes the both of you hot despite both of your lips softly moving together. Something about it runs deeper, like he’s trying to tell you something without explicitly coming out with it.

His hold on your waist gets that bit tighter which has you melting into him. Unable to stop yourself, you also let out a tiny hum of bliss against his lips and you hold his coat in your fist that bit tighter. This is what you’ve been after all night. This is what you’ve been craving. Him and every last bit of him.

Even when the kiss comes to its natural end, you wish it wasn’t finished. And you’re glad that it doesn’t seem to be. But the man who makes your heart skip a beat says something you really aren’t expecting.

“I’m only interested in sleeping with you.” Alex tells you, before he leaves you with one last breathless kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: What did you think?!?!? NRIACC bestiesssss!! How was it seeing Wheels again?! She's my multiverse I had to hahaha! But how bloody cute are Sweet and Alex, god I adore them so so much. Until next time besties x

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the-boy-meets-evil · 6 months

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take my hands (we can fall together) | lee chan | pt 1

(where you and chan are friends, but he's your brother's best friend. and you've always been just a little out of reach. until one season changes everything.) pairing: brother's best friend!chan (dino) x f!reader genre: friends to ??, pining, slow burn | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut rating: explicit (for the full fic) warnings/notes: mentions of unhealthy relationships (reader x boyfriend), mentions of food, mentions of drinking/alcohol, lots of stereotypical fall activities, reader's brother is chan's age and reader is 2 years older, eventual smut (in pt 3 - see that for warnings), any names of other idols are considered to be OCs word count: ~6.5k (full fic is roughly 23k) a/n: huge thanks to @svthub for hosting this fall collab. check out the full list of fics here. this is part 1, the full fic is in 3 parts and the dates for the next 2 parts are at the bottom. also thank you to my bby indi for beta reading @wongyuseokie and creating an amazing banner @classicscreations. if you want to be tagged in the next 2 parts, send an ask or dm or just comment 💕

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Fall has never been Chan’s favorite season. The weather cools down, but it’s in this weird in-between. One day, it’s cold enough for heavy jackets, and the next it’s almost warm enough to wear shorts. It starts to get dark too early as the days get shorter, which makes it feel like there’s just less time in the day. Or, even worse, there are days when Chan leaves the apartment in the dark and returns in the dark. Everything feels like it’s dying with the leaves falling. It seems like it should be a season of thankfulness and friends and holidays, but it just ends up feeling like an ending in a bad way. He’s not cynical, he’s just not really sure he likes this time of year.

“I wish I had someone to do fall things with me,” you announce to nobody in particular.

Okay, well maybe Chan needs to rethink this whole opinion on the season. Because here’s the other thing, he’s always been drawn to you. Sure, you’re his friend. It’s just, he’s always been closer to your brother, Jay. Always a little envious, too. You and Jay are friends as much as siblings, despite you being two years older. So much so that your friend group is somewhat merged. Chan knows that Jay has friends you don’t hang around with and that the same goes for you. It’s still nice, though. Seeing the two of you, he understands what it means to love family and also like them.

Yet in all those years of friendship, Chan can still remember the moment when he started seeing you differently. You’d called Jay late one night, no text or anything, and Jay picked up right away because it was so unlike you. It was your first real breakup, a guy you met and started dating in college, the only time you and Jay had been really separated. Even if the separation was only a two hour drive. You were so devastated that Jay switched to a video call and convinced you to come home for the weekend. All Chan can remember is how much he wanted to protect you from ever feeling that way again. He knew you didn’t deserve the way that guy made you feel. Then, the new school year came around, and he and Jay were on campus with you. The draw has only gotten stronger since then.

“Isn’t that what you have a boyfriend for?” Jay asks.

You roll your eyes affectionately. “He doesn’t really like the fall. Plus, he’s super busy with work projects. He doesn’t want to go pick apples or adventuring or any of that stuff.”

The way you play it off feels casual, like it doesn’t actually matter. Your eyes tell a different story. Chan’s heart breaks a little as he does everything he can to not show it. Jay, unfortunately for you, also notices.

“Is everything okay with…shit, what’s his name?” Jay asks.

“Come on, Jay, they hard launched like 6 months ago, shouldn’t you know his name by now?” Lisa, ever the best friend to you, chimes in.

“Ease up, Lisa,” you say, voice a little tired. “Things with Seungsik are fine, he’s just busy right now.”

“Hey,” Jay starts.

“We can always do fall stuff with you,” Chan hears himself offer without even realizing he’s saying anything. Several pairs of eyes shoot to him.

“Bro, you hate fall shit,” Vernon scoffs.

“I do not,” Chan retorts.

“Since when? I had to twist your arm for Friendsgiving last year,” Jay counters.

“That is true,” Lisa agrees.

“No you too,” Chan directs at Lisa.

“That’s really sweet, Channie,” you cut across the bickering. It takes everything in him to remain neutral at your compliment and the use of a nickname. “Maybe we can do some stuff as a group. I feel like Fall is the time for friends anyway.”

There’s a smattering of agreement, names thrown out of other friends that aren’t there, lighthearted eye rolls at how into this season you are, and more than a glance or two in Chan’s direction. He does his best to ignore those. He doesn’t need to think about them right now. All he can really focus on is that he agreed to get up insanely early on Sunday morning so that you could take this train ride that you’ve wanted to do in the Fall to see all the trees changing colors. Especially since the colors are more vibrant this year. Which is fine. Chan doesn’t really mind being up early, but nobody else is committing to go. Not even your brother. The fact that you seem unbothered at it being just you and him makes Chan’s stomach flip.

Chan is nervous when it comes time to leave for the train ride. You offered to pick him up since you were dragging him out of the warmth of his bed so early in the morning and even said he didn’t have to go through with it. Which meant you probably wouldn’t go through with it because the two other people that had tentatively agreed backed out the night before. Even over text, Chan could tell that you were disappointed at the thought of not going. And even he had to admit that he was curious about the draw of this particular activity. So off you went.

It only takes one day for Chan to start changing his opinion on the season. Or, one person. There’s something about the way your face lights up the second you’re on the train that takes him over as well. You’re more excited, still, that the train doesn’t seem that crowded, so the two of you will have your own little area to sit in without anyone else that close by. Sheepishly, you admit that the train runs multiple times a day, but this gives you the most time at the top of the mountain. Taking advantage of how rare it is to spend time alone with you, Chan asks you what exactly it is that you love about Fall. Maybe if he hears from someone who loves it, he’ll see it differently.

He watches as your face transforms. Your eyes get wide, and a genuine smile spreads across your face, gone just long enough to ask if he’s sure. All Chan can do is laugh because it’s so endearing. But he nods, and you’re like a kid at Christmas. You start with the leaves as the train pulls away from the station. There’s more to them than just changing color and falling to the ground, at least to you. Yes, they’re pretty, like shades of gold fluttering along with the wind and bringing good fortune. You liken it to growth in a way Chan never considered. Sure, the leaves are changing color and dying. It’s also about growth and release. Trees need to let go of their leaves so they can go into their next phase. So they can be ready to grow new leaves and new life in the spring. You don’t get that without the release in the Fall.

You like the way things taste fresher, too. The way apples feel crisper because it’s when they were meant to be enjoyed. The way vanilla and cinnamon just warm your soul with everything they’re baked into. You love the comfort, like a warm blanket, of just being able to bake so many things. When Chan points out that you bake all year around, you get that playful smile again. You agree and disagree at the same time. You can bake all year round, but certain things were just meant for when the weather starts to get colder.

Most of all, you really just feel like it’s a positive change. Of learning to let go of all the things that are holding you back. Of cutting out those parts of life that feel dead or stagnant. Of starting the process to allow new things to grow. Chan doesn’t mention that maybe you’re not as good at that part as you want to think. He can tell you want to be, but he wonders if you realize there’s someone in your life who really isn’t adding anything to it anymore. He doesn’t mention Seungsik and neither do you.

When you get to the top and step off the train, Chan gasps at the sight. He’s never really stopped to appreciate nature like this and it’s overwhelming in the best way. It makes him feel kind of small, except it’s not a bad feeling, and he’s really glad that you suggested taking the early train because it means the top of the mountain isn’t crowded. He’s so busy taking in the clear views that go on for miles that he doesn’t even notice the way your face lights up watching his reaction. He can’t possibly know how full your heart is at him being so present.

“This is beautiful,” he whispers. It seems like a crime to disrupt the peace.

“Yeah, it is,” you agree. There’s something in the way you say it that makes Chan look over at you. By the time he looks, though, your eyes are on the horizon as well.

“Have you done this before? I don’t feel like I remember Jay talking about it at all,” Chan asks, still watching you.

You stiffen for a second in a way that’s entirely at odds with the mention of your brother. Or maybe your mind is a million miles away. That’s another thing that Chan’s always found so interesting about you. There’s a brightness and a lightness about you, but there’s also a sense of mystery. LIke there are parts of yourself that you always hold back. Like you want to appear to be entirely open, even though you’re not. Like there are secret parts that only your closest relationships get to know.

“Jay wouldn’t have,” you finally answer with a smile. “Our grandparents brought me when we were both still little. But Jay wasn’t interested, so he stayed with our parents. I’ve wanted to do it again as an adult, but you know, life happens.”

“Anyone who cares about you would want to see this,” Chan admits as he looks out at the views again.

It’s too honest, and Chan knows it, but there’s just something about this kind of environment that makes him want to admit things he shouldn’t. Or wouldn’t, normally. There’s something like anonymity surrounded by this much nature. It reminds you just how small people are in comparison. He’s also thankful that you seem to be agreeing that you can say those unspoken things here. That is, until he feels your hand on his arm, turning him to look at you.

“Thank you, Chan,” you say with more sincerity than he’s ever heard in all the time he’s known you. “I care about you, too.”

“I, um,” Chan starts and clears his throat. “You’re welcome.”

“We’ve never hung out like this, just the two of us,” you say, still watching him.

“No, we haven’t,” Chan agrees because it’s all he can do to hold onto his rapidly slipping composure.

“I was…okay, this is gonna sound dumb, but I was a little nervous. That’s why I tried to give you an out,” you say. Your voice is soft and you look down at your feet. Like it’s too much to admit while looking at Chan and when it’s so quiet all around you.

“I almost took it,” Chan tells you.

“Why didn’t you? Weren’t you worried?” you wonder.

Chan shrugs to buy himself a second. “Because it was important to you. I figured it was better to roll the dice and risk it being a little awkward so you didn’t miss out.”

You turn away, but Chan catches the look on your face anyway. Catches the way you take a steadying breath. Can’t miss the way you try to hide as you wipe away a tear. The last thing he wanted to do was make you upset. And even though his heart is racing, he pulls you into a hug. He’s not sure what else to do except whisper sorries against your hair.

“No, no, no,” you finally say. “You don’t need to be sorry.”

“I made you cry,” Chan disagrees.

“No, you didn’t. It’s just so insanely sweet that I was overwhelmed for a minute,” you tell him.

“Guess it was awkward after all,” Chan says. It’s a little self-deprecating.

“No, it wasn’t,” you assure him. “This is so much more than I could have asked for. I’m just, I guess I’m not really used to people doing things like this for me.”

Chan is thankful he’s not holding you anymore because there’s no way to hide the way his heart tries to beat out of his chest. All he can do is smile and hope that you can’t read his thoughts because they’re a weird mix. His heart is full that you’re so appreciative of something that seems so small. Sure, life is short, and there are only so many days. But it’s also too short to pass up on opportunities to see something different like this. To actually stop and experience the world around you instead of just rushing to the next day. His heart also breaks at the idea of you not being used to people doing things like this for you. Because it seems so small. It doesn’t seem like some huge thing to do. Chan and Jay have been friends for more than 10 years, so he’s known you for a long time. He knows that you don’t have the best taste in partners. Still, though. He can’t imagine something so small being so impactful to you.

The two of you mostly stick close together, or at least within eyesight of each other. There’s so much to see at the top of the mountain. Little signs seem to ring around the edges, telling people what they’re looking at or giving a history. Each one makes Chan appreciate the views even more. Every once in a while, he also catches you watching him and smiling, like you’re still checking that he’s enjoying himself. He can’t say that, of course, he’s enjoying himself, he’s with you, but he tries to smile back every time.

Eventually, you suggest having lunch at the restaurant next to the little station where the train stops. He’s been so busy taking in his surroundings that he doesn’t even realize that he’s hungry. Right on queue, his stomach grumbles at the mention of food, and you laugh it off. Once you’re sitting down, you can’t seem to settle on one thing for lunch. Without thinking, Chan suggests that you just share a few different things so you can try what you want. Who knows when you’ll be back up here again? Although you seem hesitant at first, a little reassurance from Chan goes a long way. That and him insisting he’ll be happy with whatever you order.

It’s truly an entirely perfect day, one neither of you really wants to end, even if you won’t admit it to the other. But you have to take the train down eventually and come back to reality.

“Sorry I have to take this,” you say with a frown at your phone.

Chan thinks it says Seungsik, which makes him frown, too. It takes a real effort for him not to follow you out of the room with his eyes. Not that Jay, Seokmin, or Jiyeon would notice. They’re currently locked in a Mario Kart battle, with Jiyeon winning yet again. Chan risks a glance in your direction and makes a snap decision.

“Do you guys want anything from the kitchen?” Chan asks.

“Yeah, something to drink,” Seokmin says.

“Is losing making you thirsty?” Jiyeon teases.

“You can’t win forever, Ji,” Jay shoots back. “Come on, Seok, we can work together on this.”

“That’s cheating,” Jiyeon giggles.

Chan ignores the banter to go to the kitchen. Ostensibly, he’s actually planning to get drinks for the group in the living room. Realistically, he’s curious about what’s making you frown and if you’re okay. From his spot in the kitchen, he can hear your voice drifting through the door of Jay’s bedroom. It’s hard to focus on getting drinks.

“I understand that your work is important, but,” you start, working to stay quiet despite the annoyance in your voice.

Maybe this was a bad idea because he wishes he could hear the other side. Or at least know for sure that it was Seungsik.

“Yes, I’m aware that you think it’s just a stupid Fall tradition,” you huff. “No, baby, I’m not saying your work doesn’t matter. It’s the weekend, though.”

Well, at least he knows that it’s Seungsik. Not that it makes it any better.

“That’s not fair, baby. I’m not saying that I don’t want you to work hard or try to get that promotion. You know how much I support you. It’s just I want to matter too,” you say, and Chan’s heart fully breaks at the heartbreak in your voice.

What is wrong with this man that he can’t take a second away from work to spend time with one of the most beautiful people in the world?

“I feel like I’ve barely seen you in weeks. You’re always working or networking and…” you trail off. “No, I do get that networking is part of the job, and you’re up for a promotion…Wow, yes, I do get how hard your job is. But do you get that you keep making promises to me and breaking them?”

There’s a bite to your voice that’s entirely foreign to Chan. It’s also at complete odds with the undercurrent of defeat. There are two sides warring during this conversation, and Chan doesn’t really recognize either of them.

“It’s not just some stupid fall tradition,” you say. It’s without any bite now. You’re defeated. “It’s…yeah, I get it. You think it’s dumb. It’s fine, I understand you won’t be coming.”

It feels like the conversation is probably ending, so Chan turns his back away from the bedroom to focus on drinks. All he can do is hope that nothing about his posture gives him away. But he can’t help listening anyway, and he hears you ending the phone call before shuffling towards the kitchen all the same.

“Oh,” you nearly gasp.

As casually as he can manage, Chan turns around towards your voice with a bag of chips in one hand. That plan goes out the window when he sees you rubbing your eyes. All he wants is to be able to protect you from the world. Because you deserve better. Not that he thinks he’s better. He just knows you deserve more than this. More than being unhappy every time he sees you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chan asks. He meant to ask if you wanted anything to drink, yet couldn’t ignore your frown.

“How long have you been in here?” you ask.

Chan shrugs. “Not long, just came to get them some drinks and figured I’d grab chips. Do you want anything?”

“That’s a loaded question,” you say under your breath.

“You okay?” Chan asks again. He knows you’re not, but he doesn’t really want to admit that he was listening to your side of the conversation.

“Can I…ugh, this is so weird, but can I just have a hug?” Your eyes are a little wide and a whole lot vulnerable.

It’s silly, but he would give you anything if it meant that you wouldn’t look broken. No, that’s the wrong word. There’s nothing wrong with being a little broken. It’s just that he wishes Seungsik wasn’t letting you down time after time. Chan sets down the chips and opens his arms without a word. There’s relief on your face as you step forward and wrap your arms around his middle. Your head rests on his shoulder and he feels the moment that your body releases the tension. Feels the moment when your breathing relaxes to match his own. When you step away, your eyes at least look a little happier.

“It’s never weird to ask for a hug from a friend,” Chan tells you.

You laugh at that, a real laugh, and for a second, Chan wonders why. “You seem to be getting a lot of my emotional side lately.”

Chan just shrugs again. “I’m happy to see whatever side you wanna show me.”

Just then, Jay comes into the kitchen, grumbling about losing another game. He doesn’t even look at Chan or you before going to grab the drinks on the counter. It’s probably the perfect timing so that Chan doesn’t say anything else that’s too honest.

“I thought you were leaving,” Jay says to you.

“Wow, trying to get rid of me already?” you ask without any of the normal teasing Jay is used to.

“Of course not. I just thought you were going apple picking with Seungsik,” Jay answers.

It’s then that he seems to really look at you and realizes something is wrong. He looks like he’s about to take back his words when you open your mouth. “No, he’s too busy with something for work. So I’ll probably just stick around here.”

Chan looks at your brother and hopes he picks up the same wavelength. It seems he does because he sighs in resignation. But it’s a mark of how concerned he is that he doesn’t mention Seungsik being a dick for this. “Why don’t we go with you?”

“What?” you ask.

“Hey,” Jay calls into the living room. “Who wants to go apple picking?”

“I’m in, beating you and Seokmin is getting boring,” Jiyeon answers.

“You haven’t won every one,” Seokmin whines.

“You don’t have to do this,” you say softly to your brother.

“Oh, are we going with you?” Jiyeon asks. “I’m in. Can I call Vernon and drag him along?”

“We should ask Lisa if she wants to come too. She loves that stuff,” Seokmin suggests. “I haven’t actually gone apple picking in forever.”

“It’s a lost cause,” Chan tells you, “we’re all going apple picking now.”

“Fine,” you pretend to sigh, “but can I ride with you? Jay’s a shitty driver.”

“I resent that,” Jay scoffs.

It takes a little time to let everyone know where to meet, but Jay manages to wrangle the group well enough so that they all make it to the orchard. True to your word, you ride with Chan. Jay and Jiyeon go to pick up Vernon, and Seokmin goes to pick up Lisa and Mina. Once everyone is there and the bags are bought, groups start to wander off in different directions to look for the best apples. Because, of course, Jiyeon has turned this into a competition and is convinced she can make the best apple pie. Chan knew by the sparkle in your eye that you weren’t going to just settle for that one.

“You’re on,” you say and shake on it.

“Well, this is interesting,” Jay notes.

“Come on, Jay, you’re on my team,” Jiyeon says and grabs his arm.

“Uh, hello, that’s my brother,” you argue.

“Yeah, and he’s tall, better for reaching the perfect apple,” Jiyeon says with a shrug. “Snooze, you lose.”

“If you’re that worried about the perfect apples up high, I’ve already won,” you reason before turning to Chan. “Come on, Chan, you’re with me.”

He doesn’t even hesitate for a minute, which would probably be a little embarrassing if he wasn’t actually looking forward to the afternoon. It seems you have a plan, and all he really has to do is follow along. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s been alone with you, either. Any awkwardness left with the train ride.

There’s more to picking apples than just picking the first ones you see, as Chan quickly finds out. You consult the little flyer about which ones are in season and start talking about which types of apples make the best pies. Which are the best for tarts. Which are the best for a bunch of desserts that he’s never heard of. It goes way over his head when you’re talking about the different flavors of apples and which goes best with cinnamon and nutmeg and all the flavors that remind you of the Fall. He’s always known that you loved to bake, but there's something different about seeing it in action like this. And you’re not even actually cooking.

Despite your insistence about the height of apples, you do come across some trees where the lower ones all look bad, even by Chan’s standards. When there’s a ladder around, he offers to climb up it so that you can have the perfect apple. It seems to make you smile every time. The system works pretty well until you come to a tree with the perfect apples and no ladder in sight. In hindsight, it’ll definitely seem stupid. That he helps you fixate on something so small as the perfect apple. Yet, at the moment, it makes perfect sense.

“Here, climb on my shoulders,” Chan offers and bends down.

“No, it’s really okay,” you say, waving him off.

“If you want the apples, then let’s get you the apples,” Chan insists.

“I’m too heavy,” you protest.

“You’re not,” Chan promises.

“You’re not going to drop me, are you?” you worry.

“Never,” Chan assures you.

He stays crouched down to allow you to climb onto his shoulders. Once you hook your legs around his back and he grabs your knees, he stands up, very thankful that he’s never skipped leg day. What he’s not counting on, or prepared for, is your surprise. Because in that surprise, your thighs squeeze either side of his face. He’s sure it’s an involuntary action. He’s sure you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Yet it makes him swallow hard all the same. As soon as he steadies himself (mentally, that is, because physically he’s fine), he steps towards the tree. On his shoulders, you’re easily tall enough to reach the apples you wanted in the first place.

“Thank you,” you say softly when he lets you back down.

“No problem,” Chan says, ignoring the slight dryness in his throat.

Apparently, taking the perfect pictures in the orchard is just as important as picking the apples. Chan does roll his eyes about that a little bit but agrees to be your photographer anyway. It’s the same thing all over again. Your face lights up at having someone to do all these things with and he’s putty in your hands. It’s impossible to say no. There’s a moment where he can tell that you’re a little upset that your boyfriend isn’t there to take pictures with you. Obviously, part of the whole thing should involve him in your perfect world. Yet he’s not the one that’s here. Instead, Chan offers to take a picture of the two of you and then take some with your other friends when you meet back up.

The group also has to decide just how to judge this baking contest. The only rules that you and Jiyeon agree to is that it has to be something baked and it has to use the apples. Beyond that, it’s up to whoever wants to participate just what they make. It’s not usually Seokmin’s thing, but he offers to help Mina bake and, since neither of them are that good, you and Jiyeon allow it.

“Why don’t we get together next weekend and do something else?” Vernon suggests.

“Like what?” Jay asks.

“Pumpkin carving!” you shout out.

“You know what? That actually sounds fun, and we haven’t done it in years,” Jay says.

“Yeah, we always used to have the best pumpkins as kids,” you agree.

“They were pretty cool,” Chan agrees.

“So pumpkins and whatever baked apple thing to see who wins?” Vernon asks.

Everyone agrees, and Chan can’t help but look to you. Anything you might have been feeling over your boyfriend missing yet another Fall activity that matters to you is forgotten. Or you’re doing a very good job at hiding it. All your face shows is happiness. It’s kind of infectious.

It doesn’t get much more stereotypically Fall than going to the pumpkin patch and taking pictures. Really, it’s pretty cliche. Yet, you seem unfazed by the entire prospect. You’re layered up, just like everyone else, to fight off the crispness of the air. Unlike everyone else, your face lights up when you pull up to the orchard, a different one than where you picked the apples. There are rows upon rows of pumpkins, all waiting to go to the perfect homes. You’re out of the car and off to walk through the rows before anyone else, and you don’t seem to have a care in the world.

There’s an art, Chan learns, to picking the best pumpkin. It all depends on what exactly someone wants to carve. Too small, and it feels crowded, too big and the face gets swallowed. Unless you make everything bigger, which is always an option. That gets a chuckle out of Vernon and a smack to his arm from Lisa. Lisa, always entirely honest, is really just in it for the pictures and then for whatever baked goods they get to taste test later. She’s happy to carve a pumpkin too, but she wants to use a stencil. And fully admits that she’ll probably get bored halfway through.

Almost unconsciously, or maybe by habit at this point, Chan finds himself wandering through the rows with you. Every now and then, you pause to consider a pumpkin before moving on. There’s so much concentration on the task, and he can’t help but to wonder if you’re just excited or if you’re also avoiding thinking about other things.

“What are you looking for?” Chan finally asks.

You turn and regard him for a second, evidently deciding that he’s just curious rather than judgmental. “Okay, don’t think it’s lame…”

“Why would I?” he asks honestly.

“I sort of have a couple ideas for what I want to carve,” you admit. “Do you, is it okay if I show you?”

“Yeah, of course,” comes Chan’s immediate reply.

There’s that smile again, the one that lights up your whole face like this is the best day that you can imagine. You pull your phone out of your pocket and open your photos. It’s hard to miss that all the recent images are from the things you’ve done as a group or screenshots or things saved from random searches. There aren’t any recent ones, as you quickly scroll, with you and Seungsik. His attention is pulled back to the task at hand when you show him a couple of different carving ideas you have.

“Which one do you like best?” you ask after showing him several.

“It’s hard to pick. Honestly, I think you should get a couple of pumpkins,” Chan answers.

That actually seems to make you happier as you pluck one from nearby that’s apparently perfect for at least one of your ideas. Chan offers to hold it for you as the two of you carry on in finding just the right pumpkins. It’s interesting, especially having picked apples with you, that you spend so much more care in this. You explain that some of the pumpkins don’t have the best sides so they don’t look as good when you carve them. They’re good for displaying as is or good to back with, but you want the prettiest pumpkins if you’re carving something.

Well, he can’t really argue with that.

Once you’re all back at his and Jay’s apartment, everyone splits off in different directions. You and Jiyeon immediately go to bring out your apple desserts. Chan’s a little surprised, still, that Seokmin and Mina actually made something together. But it all looks good, and he’s kind of hungry. Lisa, who suggested ordering actual food, manages to get the bags inside with Vernon’s help. The two of them get to work setting all the food out on the counter for people to start getting plates. Chan starts pulling out plates and glasses for everyone. Jay clears off their little dining table, which isn’t big enough for everyone, as well as the coffee table. It’s not like this is anything formal anyway.

Even though you and Jiyeon want to start with the desserts, Mina manages to convince you to have actual food first. Then, as everyone is carving, they can start trying whatever looks best to them. You reluctantly agree from your spot on the floor. There’s plenty of space to sit on the couch, but instead, you sit on the floor, right next to Chan’s legs, occasionally brushing against him as you move. It’s a little harder for him to watch you without being so obvious and just as hard to ignore your presence. There’s a vibrance to you again, like everything in your world is right. Like nothing could possibly be missing. It doesn’t escape his notice that you don’t mention Seungsik; don’t seem to be missing him during this activity. It’s not like apple picking where he bailed. He was never part of these plans. Maybe that’s the key, or maybe you’re realizing that doing all of this with friends can be just as fun. Whatever the reason, Chan wants you to keep smiling like this.

After protesting, sitting on the floor to eat, Chan has to agree that sitting on the floor to carve pumpkins makes the most sense. It’s easier when you’re not bending over to the coffee table level. It also gives him more space. Like Lisa, he’s using a stencil that he printed out. He wants it to be perfect, and he’s not sure he could do it freehand.

“Okay, I want dessert. Who’s going to tell me what’s what?” Vernon announces.

You’re up before anyone can say anything to grab your desserts. Plural. “Okay, so I made two…”

“Which is cheating,” Jiyeon interjects.

“Is not,” you reply and stick your tongue out at her. You open each container. “These are just apple fritters and these are salted caramel apple bars.”

“Tell me you did not make caramel from scratch, too,” Jiyeon whines.

“It’s so easy, of course I did,” you retort.

“Ugh, of course,” Jiyeon groans. “Anyway, I made apple-pomegranate cobbler.”

“Which looks amazing,” you compliment, causing Jiyeon to beam.

“And since we knew these two would go totally over the top, we just made plain old apple pie,” Mina says.

“Hey, we worked hard, don’t undersell it,” Seokmin points out.

“I’m sure it’s great, Seok,” Lisa says to pacify him.

“I’m going to eat it all,” Vernon announces.

He goes to get a plate and, true to his word, puts some of everything on it. You carry on carving and wave off Chan’s offer to get you something. It’s hard not to play favorites, but he also doesn’t want some of everything. At least not yet. So he grabs one of the salted caramel apple bars that you made and some of Jiyeon’s dessert. Things get quiet again as everyone is either enjoying the dessert or focusing on their pumpkins.

Despite Vernon taking a break to eat as much dessert as he could stomach, he does get back to working on his pumpkin and it’s annoying how good it looks. He went in without a plan and his pumpkin is one of the best. Chan thinks his could probably be a lot better, but he’s also happy with it. As predicted, Lisa abandoned hers halfway through and has been picking music to play ever since. It’s kind of nice, though, to have her doing that. It makes the whole afternoon into the evening pass by in the best way.

Chan should probably think of new words, but this is another one of those days that just feels like the best of the season. Everyone is together and happy. Nobody is fighting, unless it’s you and Jiyeon playfully arguing when your apple bars win as the best dessert. It’s fine to be in your feelings, and Chan meant it when he said he would be happy with whatever side you wanted to show him. It’s also important to have the lighter days. The easy days. The ones that make weathering the storm a little more manageable. It’s clear there’s definitely still a storm, and he’s thankful for the little breaks like this.

However, as it turns to night, everyone starts to filter out of the apartment. Seokmin, Mina, and Lisa want to go out to the bar and ask if anyone else wants to come. Jiyeon and Vernon already planned to go out to dinner. They’re still in that phase where they want to act like they’re not dating, even though they definitely are, and everyone is happy for them. Jay’s been talking to someone off some dating app that he wants to go hang out with. That just leaves you and Chan.

“I’m actually kinda tired, so I think I might just stay in,” Chan tells Seokmin when he asks again if either of you wants to come to the bar with them.

“I don’t really feel like going out,” you admit before looking at Chan. “Do you mind if I stay here with you?”

“Course not,” Chan answers, ignoring the look he knows Jay is giving the two of you. Your brother’s never really been good at being subtle.

“Lame, but I get it,” Lisa says with a shrug. Everyone but Jay filters out for their plans and he disappears into his bedroom to get ready. Chan gets up to start cleaning up and putting everything away.

“You don’t need to help. You’re a guest,” Chan tells you when you join in on the cleaning.

“Wow, a guest? And here I thought we were friends,” you scoff.

Chan shakes his head. “You know what I mean.”

“I figure if I help then I can rope you into watching a movie with me,” you answer.

“Fine,” Chan says, pretending to be put out.

Truthfully, he’s going to agree to whatever you want to do. You could say that you wanted to learn a new language and Chan would probably at least give it a try. Down horrifically bad. Yet, he’s too caught up in thinking about hanging out with you again that he doesn’t see the way you look over at him every few minutes. Misses the way your gaze softens at how much care he uses in moving the pumpkins. Misses the way your eyes rake over him as if you’re seeing him for the first time. He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t realize things are starting to shift for you as well.

Instead, the two of you finish cleaning up mostly in silence and are settling onto the couch by the time Jay reemerges. Convenient timing given that he doesn’t have to even make up an excuse about why he can’t help. You’re quick to call him on it and he’s just as quick to brush it off as he runs out the door. It leaves you and Chan on your own for the night. So you pick the place for take away and Chan picks the first movie. Just like that, you settle in for the night.

part 2 coming on dec. 3rd, part 3 coming on dec. 6th. let me know what you think and if you'd like to be tagged 💕

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dira333 · 8 months

Text

Open up - Tsukishima x reader

Requested by @shoulmate - kind of part two to "Friends"

He had not known how bad he was at opening up to people until he left Karasuno.

The comfort of being a third year, of being familiar with the habits and quirks of his classmates and, especially, the people in the Volleyball Club, had tricked him into thinking he’d be just fine in College.

But he wasn’t fine. He was far from being fine.

Where it was relatively easy to explain to himself that what he was feeling was only natural, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Yamaguchi that he missed him.

His constant presence had become a comfort he’d taken for granted.

He missed Yachi, her bubbly personality, and even her almost predictable bouts of over-worrying. But he supposed that Yamaguchi missed her even more, now that she was studying in Tokyo.

He even missed - and that was something he’d never tell anyone - he even missed the monster duo. Training was too quiet without their constant fights and with no one there to challenge him like those two had, he felt himself falling into a rut.

Three months into College he caved and called Kuroo, nibbling on the nail of his right thumb as he waited for the Call to connect, the habit he’d picked up from Yamaguchi a sick kind of comfort.

“You’re lonely.” Kuroo summarized the moment he finished his explanation. “That’s not surprising.”

He wanted to argue against it, but even he knew that it would make him sound even more childish. He’d been the one calling after all.

“It’s hard for everyone. To be a first-year again. To lose so many friends.”

His voice sounded a bit hoarse for a moment and Tsukishima remembered with a start that while he and Yamaguchi had always been in the same year, Kenma and Kuroo had always been one year apart.

College must have been especially hard for him if he still felt like that about it.

“As nice as it is to know that I’m not alone, I didn’t call for that, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kuroo laughed. “But do you really need my advice for that? You know what you got to do, right?”

He scowled at the thought.

“Right. Yeah. I was just hoping-”

“You were just hoping I had something else up my sleeve? Sorry. You still need to talk to people. Open up a bit, Tsukki.”

“Don’t call me that.”

1. Find someone on your team. Maybe there’s someone you already know. Or someone you could look up to.

“Kyoutani, right?” He asked the older boy, despite knowing perfectly well that this was his name. God, he so wanted to be somewhere else right now.

“Yeah, so?”

“I was wondering if you’d be up to train.”

“Why would I?”

“We’re on the same team?”

“So?”

He fought against the urge to pinch his nose. This guy was even worse than Kageyama.

Wait. Kageyama.

“Well, I wanted to train my blocking technique. But if you think I’m too strong for you, I’ll find someone else.”

“The fuck you just said?” Kyoutani is right up in his face now, baring his teeth. “I’ll wipe the floor with you!”

“Great. Tonight after practice?”

“You bet.”

…

Kyoutani did, in fact, wipe the floor with him.

But he pulled him up at the end of it, looked him over like he contemplated throwing him into the dumpster outside, and nodded.

“I can’t train on Mondays or Fridays. We can do all the other days. Just don’t talk too much.”

2. Find someone in one of your courses. Someone who needs help studying or someone who can help you study. Yes, Tsukki, such people exist.

“Watari, right?" He asked the boy, vaguely remembering the name from some assignments.

“Ah, yes. And you’re Tsukishima?”

“Yes. We’re in the same Biology Class.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed. You went to Karasuno, right?”

“Yes?” He narrowed his eyes at the other boy. Where was this going?

Watari’s smile did not waver under Tsukishima’s glare. It was unnerving to talk to someone so calm. It reminded him of Sugawara and he’d learned long ago that that calm demeanor could be flipped like a coin.

“I went to Aoba Johsai. I remember playing against you.”

“Oh. But you’re not in the Volleyball Team anymore?”

“No. It felt like the time for me to try something new. Besides, I’d flunk all my Classes if I tried to focus on anything else besides the Course material.”

“About that…” Tsukishima started, already cringing at himself. “I think I could help with that.”

…

After one Monday and one Friday spent with Watari, Tsukishima was ready to admit he’d never become a teacher.

But the other boy was a lot less annoying as a student than the Monster Duo.

He could see himself keeping this up and it was kind of nice to talk about Volleyball in between studying.

3. Find someone else. Be a bit creative. You might learn something new about yourself.

This is the hardest part.

He didn’t want to talk to the people he meets in the cafeteria. Or the people watching his Volleyball Matches, even now that he’s got to actually play on the court.

He didn’t want to think about the internship he’d going to have to suffer through next semester.

Weren’t two new friends enough, he asked himself when he’s alone in his room, studying, reading, listening to music. When he endures Watari struggling with memorizing things, or Kyoutani’s way of talking during their training.

Aren’t two new friends enough, he asks himself when he walks through the library one day only to find… you.

He’s neither quick nor small enough to duck behind a cart or another person and you spot him almost the instant he recognizes you.

And the way your face lights up cuts a piece straight out of his heart.

“Tsukishima.” You walk up to him where he’s frozen on the spot. “What a coincidence to meet you here. How are you?”

“Hrrm.” He makes, his tongue unable to unknot himself. You nod.

“I don’t want to keep you, but if you want, we could go for a coffee and catch up?”

He’s unable to say no. And not in the way that his mouth won’t open, because that too, but even if he could speak, he couldn’t say no to you.

But he can and will protect himself. He’s promised himself that.

Back as a first-year at Karasuno, when he had a crush on you and realized it was never going to be reciprocated.

Back in his second year at Karasuno, when you stopped coming to their games, and he only ever saw you in passing or heard you mentioned in conversations.

Back in his third year at Karasuno, when the hallways were void of you and he didn’t even have Ennoshita around to hear about you. When even the pain of not having you sounded better than the void you left behind.

…

“How’s Ennoshita?” He asks as soon as you take a seat.

“Good, I guess.” You puff out your cheeks and blow at your coffee and he wonders if you know how adorable that makes you look. “Haven’t talked to him in a while. Didn’t think he’d forget about me so easily now that he has a girlfriend.”

He chokes on his drink.

You hit him on the back, but it does nothing to ease his mind.

“He- girlfriend- Ennoshita- you?” He chokes out and you pull your hand back to muster him.

“Yes. He has a girlfriend. Is that surprising? I did think he was rather popular with the girls in Karasuno but no one ever confessed to him.”

“Yeah, because everyone thought the two of you were a couple.” He can’t help his snark and regrets it the moment your eyes widen.

“They did? Why?”

“Because you two were so close. Why wouldn’t we think that?”

He bites his tongue the moment the words are out of his mouth.

You’re frozen in motion, eyes wide, mouth open until you close it with an audible click.

There’s something like understanding in your eyes and he’s ready to grab his drink and leave when you put your hand on his arm.

“Did you think I was dating Ennoshita?”

“Again, why wouldn’t I think that?” He asks but it’s lacking the usual cut of his tone. He just sounds tired now.

You heave a sigh, so deep it seems to come from the bottom of your soul.

“Ennoshita was right after all. I should have confessed to you.”

Now it’s his turn to freeze in his seat and he’s a bit ashamed to say that he forgets to breathe for a moment.

“What?” Is that really his voice speaking?

“Everyone of my girlfriends said that I should wait until the boy makes the first move and looking back, especially after what you’ve told me, they probably had Ennoshita in mind when I was always talking about you. I just… I thought you were interested in me and I was interested in you and I was just hoping you’d confess.”

“I’m sorry.” He says and you shrug.

“We can’t change the past, right?” Something changes in your eyes and he holds his breath, realizing it will probably shake his core again, whatever you’re going to say next.

He’s right.

“So, what do you say?” You cock your head and grin. “Are you free tomorrow? For a date? Just to make sure there are no more misunderstandings?”

Kuroo calls him on Saturday and he barely makes it out of his room to accept the call.

“Bad timing?” The older boy asks and TSukishima huffs. “We’re having a watch party, but I’m not missing much. I’ve seen Jurassic Park a million times.”

“Oh, a watch party? So you made some friends?”

“Yeah.”

He leans against the wall next to his door, thinking of the people inside.

Yamaguchi, who’d called to let him know he was done missing him in silence and that he was coming over Saturday, no matter how he felt about it. He was very much okay with that.

Watari, who’d jumped at the idea of a watch party, especially after he heard the name of the chosen movie. “We can point out all the inaccuracies and review at the same time.”

Kyoutani, who’d needed a bit more convincing.

“You know, they say it’s good for team building, but if you’re above that-”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. But I don’t want any mediocre snacks, alright?”

You.

The door opened next to him as he was talking and you squinted at him.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just talking to Kuroo.”

“Oh, alright. Tell him I said hi.” You blow him a kiss and step back inside, leaving him flustered in the halfway.

“Kuroo.” He said, voice hoarse yet again. “You don’t happen to have some advice for communication in a relationship?”

“Ohohoh?”

“Don’t laugh. I just don’t want to mess this up.” Again, he adds in his mind.

My Kofi if you want to tip me

#my writing #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x you #haikyuu drabbles #hq x reader #Tsukishima x reader #Tsukishima Kei #tsukishima kei fanfic #kyoutani kentarou #watari #kuroo haikyuu #Yamaguchi #Kuroo

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glassartpeasants · 7 months

Text

Run Rabbit Run

Yandere!Eustass Kidd x F!Reader

Warnings: physical abuse, death, pre-time skip kidd, implied non-con, nonconsensual kissing/touching, blood, Kidd being an arsonist, edited as much as my smooth brain could, long fic??

Trash summary: After escaping, reader has flashbacks of her time with kidd and it only fuels her want for freedom more

A/N: Well, this took a bit long. I went over this fic so damn much it isn't even funny. I do hope in the end, it was worth it and that you guys like it. Whoever guesses the word count gets a cookie

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

~~~

The sound of rain crashing down did little to dull the sound of your beating heart. It echoed in your ears to the point where you thought it’d explode! The way you struggled to get air in your lungs didn’t help either. They burned along with your body as you ran as fast as you could through the trees.

The rain still hit you despite the leaves that protected you overhead. Your clothes clung to your body tight enough to the point it made it difficult to run. You lost your socks to the mud long ago, so now you were pushing through the slimy ground as fast as you could. The feeling of it against your feet made you cringe. But you’d rather deal with it than go back to the hell that you just escaped from.

About a year ago, you were abducted from your hometown in broad daylight by the most feared New Gen pirates in the South Blue, the Kidd Pirates. Everyone from your town knew who they were. No shop owners denied them service, and everyone waited on their beck and call. Despite that, they still plundered and burned down anything they wanted to. Nothing was safe.

You remember the first day you saw them. You were walking home from the grocery store when you heard the mayor pleading. Biting your lip, you look around the corner of a building, trying to get a sense of what was happening. There you saw it, your mayor on his knees begging a group of people to leave your town alone. Squinting your eyes, you try to see better, only to let out a gasp of shock and fear.

“No way…” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. The seemingly whole crew of the infamous Kidd Pirates. Their captain, Eustass Kidd, stood in front of your begging mayor with a sick grin on his face.

“Too bad, old man! Now, you either give me all the treasures in this shit town, or you'll see its ashes fall from the sky!” The air seemed to go cold as you felt frozen. You wanted to run away and warn your community, but something made you stay.

“But! The people need that for-” The mayor went flying backward from a kick that the pirate sent his way.

“Wrong answer, old fool! Burn it down and take everything! Leave no stone unturned!” The rest of the pirates went their separate ways and followed their captain's commands. Your whole body shook as you moved your gaze back to the captain. A choking feeling took over you when you saw his amber eyes staring right into yours. Even from where you stood, you could hear him laughing as your eyes never left his.

You finally manage to pull out of your frozen trance when you watch him starting to move in your direction. Dropping your groceries, you start to run away as fast as you could. You look all around, trying to find the best routes to lose him, but his eyes haunt you no matter where you look.

The sound of your footsteps rang in your ears as you felt your heart kicking into overdrive. What could he possibly want from you? Would he kill you? Use you as some sort of ransom? All you knew was that you had to outrun him!

Suddenly, your jerked to a stop. You feel yourself slowly moving backward. Looking down, you see the bracelet that your fiance gave you, slowly pulling you back to where you just ran from. You try to take it off but are once again jerked back even harder, and your whole body feels like it’s flying backward from how hard you were pulled back.

“Where do you think you're going, huh?” A strong hand grabbed your wrist as your back collided with the man you had just tried to run away from. You could only look up in horror as his smile sent chills down your spine.

“Y-Your Eustass Kidd…” Your voice shakes, as well as your body.

“Damn right, I am. What? You afraid?” His laugh only fueled your fear more. Here you were, stuck in a madman's grip with no way of knowing what his plans for you were.

“Please! Just let me go! I-I’ll give you all the money I have. Just please let me go!” You try to pry his hand off your wrist, but inside, you know it is pointless. It seemed your pathetic attempt amused him.

“Now, why would I let something I caught far and square go?” He pulled your hand closer to look at the bracelet that adorned your wrist.

“Your shitty stainless steel bracelet betrayed you, princess.”

“My fiance worked hard to make it for me!-”

“Don’t make me laugh! This is the shittest piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen!” You see him grab your bracelet and watch in horror as it contorts itself off your wrist. It falls into his hands as he looks at it closer.

“Give it back!” You try to grab it, but he lifts it up and away from your grasp.

“It ain’t even pure stainless steel. Pathetic. Not even detailed, just a circle of metal.” Your mouth drops open when you see the bracelet crunch into a ball the size of a bullet.

“Repel.” What used to be your bracelet shoots away from his hand and into a store window. You feel tears rim your eyes at his chuckles.

“Now, c’mon. You're coming with me.” Once again, you try to pry off his grip, but it doesn’t budge an inch.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, princess. I’m not a very patient person.” You were about to say something in retaliation, but the sound of your fiance yelling made you turn your head.

“(Y/N)! Get your hands off her, you filthy pirate!” Your heart drops to your stomach when you see your fiance standing 30 feet away from you. Moving your gaze from your fiance to Kidd was a mistake, as you felt your blood run cold. The cocky grin was no longer there, instead, a furious one replaced it.

“This is that pathetic fiance? Ugh, I don’t have time to deal with you. I’ve got to take this treasure I found back to the ship-”

“(Y/N)’s not going anywhere with you! Let her go, pirate!” A murderous look sparked in Kidd’s eyes as he looked at your fiance, who dared tell him what to do. A bad feeling filled your gut as you turned to your fiance.

“Run (....)! He’s going to kill you!” You try to scream out to them as loud as you could. The hand that once gripped your wrist wrapped itself around your torso and pulled you into Kidd’s chest. Your arms trapped under his arm as you struggle to even move.

“Killer!” The sound of running footsteps echoes as they grow closer to you.

“Yeah, Kidd?” A man in a striped blue and white mask appears next to you. His stature much different from the one holding you hostage.

“I need to make an example out of them, kill them. Little shit thinks they can tell me what I can and can’t do.” You stare at the masked man in horror as he seemingly stares back at you.

“Who’s she?”

“My new plaything. Cutie, ain’t she?” Kidd’s chest rumbles with small laughter as he holds you tighter. The man who you assume is Killer, simply nodded before two massive blades come into your view. Your throat goes dry as you see him rush towards your fiance, who looks petrified.

“No! Leave them alone!-”

“Alright, let's go.” You were turned around just before you heard the wails of your fiance. Tears started to slip down your cheeks as the love of your life was brutally slain right behind you. Your mind runs with horrific images of what could have possibly happened. All you did was look at the ground and watch as each pebble left your sight as Kidd walked forward. You wanted to scream, kick, punch, just anything to hurt him, but your body was immobile from the sheer shock of how fast your life was crashing down in front of you.

“What a pretty sight, don’t you think?” Biting your lip, you move your head up slowly to see what could possibly make him so happy. As soon as you lifted your head, you felt your mouth drop open at the sight.

The buildings that you’ve known your entire life were set ablaze. The heat it gave off was insufferable as Kidd walked through it without a care. Sounds of wood collapsing and flames flickering rang from all directions. All your childhood memories erased and replaced with an ongoing hell before your eyes. The urge to vomit was immense, but you held back, not wanting to show any more weakness than you already have.

The trek from the town to the ship felt like hours, yet when you did reach the ship, it was like one you’d never seen. You couldn’t keep your eyes off it. If it didn’t belong to the man who took away all that you loved dear just moments ago, you would have applauded for its uniqueness. The only thing that deserves the fate that your home was subject to is the ship in front of you.

Your heart beat against your ribs at the sound of wood creaking under Kidd’s feet. You bit your lip in worry, not knowing where he was taking you. While he dragged you to the deep parts of his ship, you tried memorizing anything you could. The only thing you could really focus on, though, was the sickening smile that he wore.

He stopped at a door in the furthest part of the ship. Your body shook as he opened the door to show what's inside. Crates filled most of the room, but there was a small window that barely let any light inside the room. When your eyes landed on a set of chains, you knew that you couldn’t let him put those on you. If he got them on, there was no way to get them off!

“No! Let me go!” You try to desperately wiggle out, but a quick crushing hold from Kidd had the wind knocked from your lungs. The sounds of chains jiggling blocked from your mind as you try to regain the air that was abruptly squeezed out of you. It was only when you felt the cold metal attacking your ankle and your body crashing to the ground is when you were dragged back to the present.

“There we go.” You didn’t dare look up. Your only thought was to pry off the chain, even though you knew that it was wishful thinking. Tears pour down your face once more at the fear of what would happen to you. You could feel your nails digging into the skin of your ankle as you tried to rip it off.

You feel Kidd grabbing both your wrists with one hand before using the other one to grab your face. He moves your head so he can look at your tear filled face. He moved his smiling face closer to yours to where there must have been only 2 inches away from yours. You see him stick his tongue out before you feel the slimy muscle run up your cheek, licking your tears away. You felt bile rise in your throat as he did the same to your other cheek, his saliva coating your skin. Through your blurry vision, you can see him licking his lips.

“You look so hot with tears running down your face, princess. Just the sight alone is enough for me to want to shove my cock down your throat just to see more of your pretty tears.” His crude words made you shut your eyes in embarrassment as you tried to turn your head away, yet to no avail. You can feel his head move to the point where you feel his breath against your ear.

“I’ll be back. Don’t wanna miss out on all the fun. Gotta make sure everything burns. I’m sure you understand.” His laughter rang in your ear as he let go of your face and wrists. The noise echoed in the small room. Making it sound like the devil himself was laughing at you. The man in front of you might as well be.

The small light that the door gave you soon snuffed out as Kidd closed the door. The sound of it locking on the other side made the darkness surrounding you more menacing. From the small window that gave you as much light as a lighter, you could see the sun setting and the small burnt debris from your home falling from the sky.

~~~

The feeling of the ship rocking made your stomach curdle. You’ve never been on one before, and now you were at the very bottom of one? The window that was your only source of light was just barely above the water. On rainy days, light was practically a wish. You were caved in total darkness. The only thing that soothed you to sleep was the sound of the rain. You just tried to imagine you were back home and lying down on your bed, waiting for your fiance to join you.

The ‘bed’ you got to sleep on was just tons of blankets lying on top of one another. You had to use a blanket as a pillow as well. It didn’t help that it was freezing. Hypothermia was basically knocking on your door every night. Sometimes you could even see your own breath.

The chain around your ankle didn’t help either. It felt like freezing needles were stabbing into your skin constantly. Sometimes you thought that it might just freeze your foot off.

Suddenly, you hear the telltale signs that Kidd was approaching your door. You’ve memorized the patterns of everyone's footsteps that had come in and out of your room. Which was basically just Kidd and his little kiss-ass friend Killer.

You could hear the lock unlocking, and soon the bright light from the outside filled your room. Gritting your teeth, you pretend to be asleep under the blankets. Maybe he might just leave.

“I know your awake, princess.” You move your head just so you could barely catch a glimpse of him. Despite the fact you were shooting him daggers with your eyes, he simply laughed at you. He held a lantern light before shutting the door and making it semi-dark again. Your heartbeat doubles as you see his smile as he walks towards you.

“No, hello, aye?” He set down the lantern on a crate before sitting down just above your head. It was quiet for a second before you felt him grip your hair and harshly tug so you’d look at him. The stinging made your eyes water as you looked at him.

“You better start talking, I wanna hear your voice, princess.” You see him pull out a sharp blade from his pocket. Knowing he was a man who never made empty threats, you gave in.

“H-Hello Eustass.” Your voice barely a whisper as you look at him in his amber eyes.

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You dig your nails into the blankets as you try to imagine yourself anywhere but here. His laughter rang in your ears before you felt him lock his lips with yours.

He was rough, and he kept your hair tightly between your fingers. You didn’t reciprocate the kiss, which made him let out a growl. His grip grew tighter, and you soon felt the cold metal of a blade press up against the skin of your neck.

You could feel your eyes widen and your heart stop at the sensation. You couldn’t escape him if you were dead. Despite wanting to spit in his face, you did what he wanted. While he didn’t move the knife, you felt him smile against your lips.

He was pushy with his kisses, seemingly trying to steal your air. You did your best to try and keep up so he wouldn’t hurt you, but he was just not giving you any time. He bit your lip hard, which made you yelp out in pain. He took advantage and shoved his tongue down your throat. The taste of sake filled your mouth as he explored every inch of your mouth.

Tears soon dripped from your eyes, no matter how hard you tried to keep them in. Kidd saw this and groaned into your mouth at the sight. You hated this sick bastard and how he got off to you crying from pain and fear.

He soon pulled away, and a trail of saliva connected both of your lips. Air finally expanded your lungs after being cut off for so long. You cough for a few seconds before looking back up at Kidd. The knife was still held against your throat, and his grip on your hair tight.

“Your still so bratty. I wonder how long it’s going to take to break you. Break you so you cry and beg for my cock the moment you see me. Begging me to use you like a toy. My dicks hard just thinking about it.” The hand holding the knife left, and you could see him put it down. A sigh of relief left you before you felt him grab your hand. He gave you a gut-wrenching smile before moving your hand to the waistband of his pants. Your eyes widen, and your heart stops at the action.

“Gonna show you just how hard you make me princess. And maybe if your good, you’ll get a reward…” He pushes your hand down his pants you hear him let out a shaky breath. You can feel the tips of your fingers touching the base of his cock. The simple feeling made you vomit in your mouth. You hear Kidd laugh as he looks down at you. He puts his face close to yours once more, and you can see the crazed look in his eyes.

“...And if you're bad, you can say goodbye to ever leaving this room.”

~~~

Your ankle still burns from being shackled for so long. It was so tight against your foot that sometimes you still think it's on. It has been off for a while, but the scar from it scrapping against your skin was still fresh. It’d no doubt stay there forever, even if you do apply scar cream. The scar would always be a reminder of what you went through and what you lost.

By now, the rain had mixed with your tears as your hair stuck to your face. Your body overworked itself as it ignored every fall in the mud, every rock or stick stepped on, and the overwhelming fear that the man you’ve been stuck with will catch you. After working so hard to be able to escape, you weren’t gonna go down now.

Still, you feared that he might find you. You had left footprints in the mud as you ran into the woods. What if he saw them? Could the rain possibly have washed them away? Your mind simply ran rampant as thoughts seemed to come and go.

Especially the thought of how you were going to get the thick metal collar that adorned your neck off. It also rubbed against your skin to the point where it would also leave a scar. The rubbed raw skin burned whenever the cold metal hit against it. The cold rain barely soothed the pain. You didn’t see how that crazy bastard thought that it was a reward for good behavior.

Once again, you felt your body freezing up. It had been getting colder, and you still had the same blankets you did when you were first thrown into this hell hole. Your hair was still slightly damp from the shower earlier, and it didn’t make you warmer either. You could hear laughter and cheers coming from the floor above you.

‘Sounds like they're celebrating another successful raid. Gross.’ You could only think to yourself as the sounds grew louder and louder. How the hell were you supposed to sleep when they're practically screaming?

Just then, you could hear Kidd’s footsteps approaching the door. You take a deep breathe before getting ready to deal with your kidnapper once again. What could he want at this hour though? First his crew is partying late into the night and now he’s coming down to bother you?

“Wake up, princess. I got you a present.” You could practically hear his sadistic smile from the other side of the door. The door unlocked, and you could see his outline. His shadow filled the small room. In his hand seemed to be a thick metal collar. A sinking feeling rose in your gut. What could he possibly want for making you wear that?

“What's that?” Your voice filled with venom despite trying to sound calm. You glared at the collar, hoping that it might explode.

“Well since you’ve been such a good girl, I think you can take a break from the chains.” Your eyebrows raise in suspicion at his words.

“But you have to wear this.” He held up said metal collar with a smirk.

“If you even try to run, I can just drag you back to me. Of course, you wouldn’t get far, but if you do try anything, your going back down here. In the dark.” You run your options in your head. Even if it’s for a while, getting out of this room might save some of your dwindling sanity. At the same time, you’ll be stuck with him for even longer in the day.

“...Okay.” When the shackle fell from your ankle you swore you could feel a smile grace your lips. The raw skin finally free from the constant rubbing on the shackle. The smile was short lived though, cause just as soon as that piece of metal left, the metal collar wrapped around your throat. It was much lighter than you thought but it was still thick. Kidd grabbed your chin and made you face him.

“You look so much more pretty with that around your neck. Now, I can take you places. Doesn’t that sound fun, princess?” He laughed in your face before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder. You yelp in surprise at the sudden action as Kidd makes his way out of the small room.

While he locked the door, you took in your surroundings. You haven’t seen the outside of the room since you were originally put in there. Kidd always just came to you, so you forgot what outside the room looked like. That or Killer would blindfold you and take you to the showers before bringing you back.

“Where are we going?” Your voice sounded like a whisper compared to the loud roars of laughter coming from the crew. Kidd didn’t answer you regardless, which only made you frown. You tried to commit every floorboard and hallway to memory as he took you to another room. It didn’t take long, but it felt like an eternity in your fear.

When he opened the door to the other room, it was much bigger than the one you had just left. It had an actual bed, and clothes strayed all across the floor. Tiny metal trinkets scattered across shelves and a dresser.

‘Must be his bedroom…’ The door locked as soon as you were inside. Before you could say anything, Kidd dropped you onto the bed.

“Get comfy 'cause you're sleeping here tonight.” You didn’t say anything, only scooting closer to the top of the bed. You were already in your pajamas, the warmest ones that Kidd had bought you. Well, more likely stole, but whatever. All your clothes were picked out by him, and you hated it. They all showed too much skin to your liking, and the pajamas weren’t any better. The warmest one was a T-shirt and fleece pajama shorts. Obviously not something that would create much heat.

You threw the blankets over you and laid down on the bed, trying to avoid looking at your captor. The metal collar made it slightly uncomfortable, but you could still sleep with it on, no doubt.

The feeling of the bed dipping down behind you made your breath hitch as you felt the covers move as well. A strong hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer towards the middle of the bed. A warm body was pressed against your back, and the smell of oil hit your nostrils. Another arm slithers under your body, and now you're totally trapped against his chest.

“You smell so nice, princess. I could just eat you.” Kidd laughs as he lays his head between your head and shoulder. The metal collar against his face couldn’t be comfortable, but he didn’t say anything.

“Thank you…?” Despite the urge to ignore him, you don’t. You didn’t wanna freeze and maybe this could be used to your advantage. A way to escape!

You feel his lips kiss the exposed skin of your neck that the collar didn’t cover before feeling his lipstick run against your neck when he begins nibbling on the sensitive skin. You can feel him smiling, and the way his breath fanned your neck made goosebumps ghost your skin.

A rough, calloused hand soon grabs the fat of your thigh before rubbing a circle on it with his thumb. The feeling of his hands holding you never failed to make you frown. You grit your teeth when you hear Kidd laugh against your skin.

“Now that you're going to be out in public with me. I need the world to know who you belong to.” You can feel your throat going dry at the implications of his words and actions. Closing your eyes, you did your best to try imagining yourself home and in bed with your fiance.

He seemed to pick up that you were imagining you were anywhere else but here cause you soon felt his teeth dig into your skin harshly. You let out a cry from the pain and dig your nails into the bed sheets. Biting your lip, you try to ignore the throbbing the bite brought.

The hand that wasn’t rubbing on your thigh moved under your shirt. Your heart beat rapidly the closer he got to your breasts. His cold hands felt like ice cubes running against your skin. Words of hatred rose in your throat as you tried to hold down the venom that bubbled inside you.

“A-Aren’t you tired from raiding? Maybe we should get some sleep, huh?” You tried to deter him from continuing his selfish desires. A soft ‘hmm’ came from his throat but was soon replaced with laughter.

“I think I’ll sleep better after fucking you on my cock. Plus, I’ve been thinking about fucking you stupid all day, princess.” Your heart dropped to your stomach at his confession. Every inch of your body went rigid when you felt his hand palm your breast.

The hand that rubbed circles on your thigh soon moved up and played with the waistband of your shorts. Tears started streaming down your face at the feeling of his cold fingers dipping beneath the layers of clothes.

~~~

You hated the way his room smelled. Oil and sweat seemingly infused with every object. Did he ever wash his clothes? It was to the point where you would have washed them with! The stench was unbearable!

Yet, you would still rather be here in a warm room than the freezing hell that was your old room. At least here, there was a thick comforter. Even though there was a bed that was much more comfortable than the floor, you'd rather lay on the ground than lay in a bed where you felt like your life was worth nothing.

“God fucking damnit! Those fucking marines keep getting in my way!” All the blood in your body ran cold, hearing Kidd scream in rage. He was a whole other evil when his rage took over. Unfortunately, it was more often than you’d like. When he got like this, it felt like he viewed you as an enemy. You remember when he grabbed your arm before throwing you to the ground after accusing you of laughing at his failure.

Or the time when he kicked you in the stomach so hard that you threw up.

The bedroom door slammed open before Kidd slammed it shut again. You didn’t say anything, only looking at him to see his next move. He had some blood on his face that only made his rage more horrifying.

“Fuck!” Grabbing a metal trinket, he threw it at his door. The impact was strong enough for it to get stuck in the door. You dug your nails into your palms as you looked at the door. There were already marks from when he’d throw knives at the door in anger. You swallowed the lump that seemed to get caught in your throat as you hesitantly turned your gaze toward Kidd.

“What the fuck are you staring at?!” Your heart froze as you hear him stomping towards you. A spurt of adrenaline kicked inside you as you tried moving backward away from him. It only served to make him madder cause he grabbed you by your foot and pulled you towards him.

“I said, what the fuck are you staring at?!” His hand grabbed the exposed part of your neck before squeezing. You tried kicking him, but he only lifted you up in the air. Tears rimmed your eyes as you try clawing at his hand, which only served to piss him off more.

“Your happy, aren’t you?! You think that marines are gonna catch me and you’ll be free?! Is that it?!” You tried shaking your head, but his grip was too strong.

“I-I can’t….breathe… Kidd please…” Through your blurry vision, you can see the same amber eyes that haunted your nightmares. Even when your vision started to go black, you could see his eyes glowing.

“Stupid bitch!” You feel your body getting thrown and the grip on your neck gone. Yet not soon after, you feel your body colliding with the wall before falling on the floor. You could hear a crack ringing in your ears when your head hit the floor.

Every inch of your body burned, and the slightest movement only doubled that. When you tried to open your eyes, your vision was blurry, and you could feel something cascading down your forehead. You couldn’t move your head, so all you saw was the dirty floor of the bedroom.

It sounded like Kidd was trying to say something, but it was all just white noise. All you could hear was the ringing in your head and the feeling of your head throbbing. You feel your forehead is covered in something, but everything just seems like a blur.

Kidd’s boots soon came into your sight as he kneeled down next to you. You feel his fingers glide through your hair before taking a fistful and lifting you up to face him. A searing pain vibrated through your body as you let out a pained cry. You try to move, but your body feels too bruised to even move in the slightest.

“Fucking pathetic! Why do I even keep you around when you're so fucking useless?!” Despite your blurry vision, his eyes managed to pierce through the blur. You try to talk, but nothing comes out, not even whimpers.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Don’t fucking ignore me!” The grip on your hair was replaced by him grabbing your face so you’d look at him. All you saw was a red blur with eyes glaring at you. All your strength disappeared, and you could feel yourself grow limp.

A deep urge to sleep soon took a toll as you felt your eyelids growing heavy. It felt like rocks were dragging them down, and no matter how hard you tried to keep them open. Even though you could feel yourself being shaken, you simply ignored the sensation. With a last flutter of your eyes, a black void soon swallowed

You remember Killer telling you that you were out cold for a few days and what actually happened to you. Well, more like you had to hit it out of him. Kidd must have told him not to tell you, but in the end, you managed to get the truth after hitting him repeatedly and threatening to throw things at him.

What he told you was that your body hit the ground hard enough for your skull to have a small fracture.

It did manage to heal relatively well and at the predicted healing rate, but that didn’t mean anything to you. It wouldn’t have happened if Kidd didn’t use you as a personal punching bag. You remember the look in his eyes when he lifted you in the air and had his hand wrapped around your throat. It’s a look that still plagues your nightmares even to this day. You’re still fully convinced that he planned to kill you that day, but something stopped him.

Those events only encouraged you to run as fast as your feet could carry you.

The rain made it hard to stay on your feet even though you tried your hardest. There were times when your foot would slip, and you’d go crashing into the mud. It felt disgusting to have your body coated in seemingly cold slime. Your clothes were definitely done with after you found a place to safely hide and to get rid of them.

If you were to look at yourself in a mirror right now, you’d probably look like a mudslide victim. The feeling of mud getting under your collar and rubbing against the raw skin burned like hell. You prayed that it wouldn’t get infected.

~~~

He was acting more loving than normal. It was…unnerving.

Something must have changed inside of Kidd after he threw you against the wall. Because instead of just him using you for his own pleasure and using you as a punching bag whenever he got angry, he started acting like you actually meant something to him. Acting like he loved you.

The thought made you sick. It had to be some sick game he was playing.

Yet, here he was now, laying on your chest, giving you praises. Telling you that your such a good girl. That he chose the right one to have by his side. How you were so beautiful and that you made him so happy.

He was acting vulnerable.

“I love you princess…” He buried his head in your chest. You knew he wanted to hear you say the same thing, but there was no way you were ever telling him that. Even if he gave you all the treasure in the world, you’d never say it. So all you did was run your fingers through his unkempt hair, thinking of questions to ask him, to try distracting him.

“How was the recent raid?”

“You should have seen how high the fires were. High enough to touch the clouds! Even those stupid marines couldn’t put out the flames!” His laughter made your heart constrict. You knew he was merciless when it came to his raids, but it simply reminded you of the horror that happened to your own town. You felt stupid for asking even though you should have known the answer.

“Was…the treasure good?”

“Not even worth a cent. They tried fighting us on it, so we had to teach them a lesson.” You let out a ‘hmm’ as you frown. A sudden weight was lifted off your chest as you saw him lifting his body up off yours. You weren’t complaining, but you wondered what was going on in that crazy head of his.

The bed dipped on the side of you, and you felt Kidd grab you and pull you close to him. Your face was pressed against his chest, and your head was under his. The feeling of his lips kissing the top of your head only served to frown more.

“Killer was asking me the other day when I plan on letting you go…” You could feel your eyes widen at his words. You haven’t begged him to let you go since you got the collar. Ever since you got the collar, you’ve just been plotting to get his trust and finding a way out. Maybe he figured out your plan? Yet surely, he will get rid of you someday, right? One day he’d get bored of you.

“...And I told him never.”

~~~

It felt like you’ve been running forever. You fear your body is giving up on you with how much slower you’ve been running. The thought that you might collapse soon without being in a safe place scared you cause what if he found you? You’d never see the light of day again.

Thankfully, you were out of the mostly dirt part of the forest. By now, there was actual grass, and you could see light in front of you. Tempting you, encouraging you to come closer, that your almost there.

You picked up the pace, even though your body burned. Telling you that you couldn’t take it anymore. Yet you ignored the pain.

You could see through the cloudy light that something colorful was up ahead. It wasn’t like any of the colors that the Victoria Punk wore. Instead, they seemed more lively. More friendly. Still, looks could be deceiving. Although, you would take anything over the ship you’ve been stuck on for the past year.

When your feet hit the sandy beaches, you feel yourself crying even harder. Instead of fear, it was hope. You took a look at the ship, and once again, you’ve never seen such a unique ship. It was the complete opposite of the Victoria Punk. Instead of a skull, it had a cute little lion. It seemed just as big as the Victoria, if not maybe a bit bigger. Then again, you’ve only seen the outside twice.

The ship was out a bit, but it looked like it was still in shallow water. The anchor was down, so it looked like they weren’t moving anytime soon. That would give you enough time to swim over and scale up the side of the ship. If you could run along mud, sharp sticks, and rocks, you could definitely scale a boat.

The water was cold when you first entered it. It made you shiver harshly, but you pushed through it. The salty water managed to clean off some of the mud that had stuck to your clothes. It felt refreshing when you dipped your head underwater for a second so you could feel the dirt on your face wash away too.

When you did reach the ship, your feet still touched the ground, thankfully. It wasn’t that deep to your luck. There were windows you could grab onto, but they were higher up than you could confidently grab. The only thing that would give you leverage was the barnacles that stuck to the lower side of the ship. You go to grab one, and only then did you feel how sharp they were. Biting your lip, you take a deep breath before actively grabbing onto the barnacles.

Climbing the first few feet seemed torturous. You could feel them dig deep into your skin. They did end up leaving cuts that had you bleeding, but you were so close now, you weren’t gonna give up now.

When you managed to grab the window and get a good grip, you let out a sigh of relief. With shaky arms, you pull yourself up. You swing your leg over the wall of the ship, and when you feel your feet touch the grass of the ship-

Grass?

Looking down, you see healthy green grass all across the deck. You can feel the grass brush against your feet. The small cuts on the bottom of your feet from the barnacles left small patches of blood on the grass. You’d have to look down on the grass for a few seconds if you wanted to see it. Maybe the rain will wash it away. You’d hate to bleed all over the boat of the people who would be your saviors.

Suddenly, You hear voices in the distance. Fear fills your being as you quickly look around to find someplace to hide. Your gut told you to go up the stairs to the first door, so you quickly did. Trying not to make as much noise as possible. Who the voices belonged to, you didn’t know. But you weren’t gonna take the chance that it was Kidd and his goons.

When you entered the room, you saw it was a kitchen. Your eyes scanned across the room to find a better hiding spot in said kitchen. A cabinet under the sink caught your eye, and you quickly tried to hide under it. But when you were about to close the door, you saw your bloody footprints leading right to where you were. You tried to wipe all the bloody footprints you could reach, but when you heard the sound of the treading through water and a ramp dropping, you quickly ducked inside your hiding spot.

You finally had time to think after you closed the small door. Thoughts of your escape through the forest, thoughts of the hell you experienced, and the thoughts of the man that let you free.

“I’m putting you in charge of her, alright? If I see a single scratch on her, I’ll have your head on a stick!” The man holding the chain that your collar was connected only nodded at Kidd.

“I’d come with your princess, but we need supplies. Plus, you’ve been a good girl. I know by now you won’t run away, right?”

“I won’t run at all. I can’t wait to see you later.” You sent a forceful smile his way, and he sent his smug one back. He turned around and started walking towards the ship where other crew mates were. Only when he left your sight is when your heart calmed down.

It was humiliating. Being chained up like this in public. You would’ve rather crawled in a hole and die then deal with the constant eyes staring at you. Nothing in this town made it worth the stares.

This town was known for having some of the best sweets, and Kidd thought that after so long of you not making a fuss or trying anything, that you were trustworthy enough to go out of the ship. Of course, he still had someone go with you. Just in case someone were to take you away from him.

“Is there someplace you want to go?” The man next to you finally cut the silence. You look up at him, and you notice that you’ve never met him. He was on your right side, and he looked almost just as tall as Kidd. His hair was much longer, and he had what you guessed to be tattoos all across his arms and some on his face. His voice was much calmer than Kidd’s, and it was a definitely needed breath of fresh air.

“Can we just walk?” He nodded, and you both started walking in the direction of the town. Hopefully, you’ll never come to this island again after this.

“What's your name?” The least that he could do is tell you his name so you at least know who’s dragging you around like a dog.

“Heat. Yours?”

“(Y/N). I guess Kidd doesn’t talk about me. ”

“Have you been on the ship this whole time? I haven’t seen you at all.”

“I’ve just been stuck below deck in the smallest room for about 6 months before Kidd decided that I’d been good enough to be locked up in his bedroom.” Your voice felt light as you try to explain.

“So, was it you he was yelling at and not him just talking to himself? And this collar thing isn’t some twisted kink I got roped into?” Disbelief dripped from his words, and all you could do was nod as you looked forward. You didn’t want him to see you tearing up.

“Yeah, it was me he was screaming at. He used to get really violent with me before my skull cracked. After that, he hasn’t done anything violent towards me. The collar thing is just a way to show ownership and that he can have control over me.”

“How long have you been… stuck on the ship?”

“Rough guess would be a little over a year maybe? I lost track of the date so I don’t know what month, day or year it is. Hard to keep track in the dark.”

“I see.” A small silence hovered over the two of you as the both of you walked around town. You mostly looked at the ground but every once in a while, you'd look at the man next to you. He always seemed to be deep in thought. You were curious as to what could be going on in his head but you just minded your own. This was your first time in the sun in so long, and you just wanted to soak it up as much as you could before you were stuck in the dark again.

The two of you turn a corner which leads you to the back alley of the town. On the other side of you was a forest that seemed so calm. It made you sad, so you tried to ignore it and go back into the sun, but of course, with your luck, you see the sun getting blocked by obvious rain clouds. You let out a few swears before continuing to walk, only to be stopped when you see Heat stopping in his tracks. Turning around, you give him a questioning look.

“Come here.” Your heart beat rapidly at his request. Did you do something wrong? Was he gonna tell Kidd something? In fear of the following, you just did what he said and looked up at him. You see his hand move to the side of your collar, and you hear the sound of the chain unhooking, making your eyes widen.

Your hands immediately go to feel around your neck. The collar was still there, but the chain that was once hooked to you was gone.

“Run. I don’t wanna see you back on the ship, do you understand?” Tears started pouring down your cheeks, and all you could do was look up at the man before wrapping him in a crushing hold.

“Thank you…thank you so much.” Your voice was barely a whisper before you took off into the forest. With your heart beating louder than ever, the sound of crunching leaves never registered. You move your gaze back to Heat for a second, and you see him standing in the same place you left him. Looking at the tree line before throwing the chain in the garbage and walking back towards the way you came.

You didn’t know what would happen to him when Kidd saw you were gone, but you only hoped that the man who saved you would be spared.

With that thought heavy in your mind, you made sure that you weren’t gonna let his sacrifice be in vain.

Your mind was pulled out from your memories when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs, even through the rain. It felt like your heart jumped out of your chest when you heard the door to the kitchen open. You could feel your breath hitch.

“Sanji wouldn’t mind if I got a snack-AHHHHH!” The voice of what you assumed to be on the younger variety let out a wail after entering the kitchen. They must have seen the bloody footprints. They weren’t really hard to miss in the first place, then again.

“What the hell are you screaming about?” A deeper male voice rang through the kitchen, and that only made you cover your mouth, praying they didn’t hear your heavy breathing. More footsteps run up, and they slowly enter the kitchen.

“Is that blood?!”

“Why is there blood in my kitchen?!”

“It leads to that cabinet.” The monotone voice of a woman strikes fear inside you. Why did they have to find you so fast? How could you have been so unlucky?

The sound of footsteps coming closer to the small door made tears fall down your eyes. They weren’t even out to sea yet and they found you. Stupid barnacles and their sharp points.

You feel your body freeze when your met with the face of a woman with beautiful blue eyes. Her blank face only made you cry harder.

“It's a woman. It seems both her hands and feet seem to be bleeding.” You try scooting closer to the back of the cabinet even though you only moved seemingly an inch. The faces of multiple people soon come into your view, and you’ve never felt so overwhelmed since the day you were captured.

“What are you doing on my ship?!” A man with jet-black hair and a straw hat pushes his way through everyone to get closer to your face.

You try to talk but all that came out were hard sobs. The sound of your voice cracking wile crying probably sounded like a whole other language. You couldn’t even see their faces anymore as the tears made your vision to blurry.

“Luffy! It’s obvious she’s hurt and scared! Be nice to a woman in need!” A man with blond hair violently kicked the man who just yelled at you.

“We’re not gonna hurt you, your safe to come out.” From your blurry vision, you can see everyone backing up to give you room to come out. Taking a few breaths, you gently move your body out of the cabinet. You try to put your feet down to stand up, but it seems the adrenaline finally wore off. A sharp pain made you whimper and just continue sitting on the ground in the kitchen.

“I’m a doctor, so I can help you!” Wiping the tears from your eyes, you let a shaky smile spread across your face.

~~~

The sun finally came back outside after what seemed like hours of you running through it. It felt so nice to be able to stand outside with the fear of being dragged back into the dark. The crew mates of the ship were kind enough to patch you up and let you hitch a ride to the next island they were docking at.

You did tell them the basis of your story. Not all the gory details but enough. The little doctor named Chopper gave you some tips and scar cream to try and get rid of the scar on your ankle. He said he was going to look at the raw skin on your neck once you managed to get it off, which led to where you are now. Standing on the back of the ship, watching it slowly drift away from the island and waiting for the swordsman to cut it off.

“Okay, don’t move, or I’ll cut your head off.”

“That's not something you say to a woman, moss head!”

“Just cut it off and stop arguing! God, your both children!”

SHLINK

The sound of metal crashing to the ground had your legs feeling weak. For the first time in months, you finally feel like you can fully breathe. The sensation of air hitting the raw skin had your heart beating fast.

You look down at the broken metal that laid in two pieces in front of your feet. Big globs of tears fall from your face and make a puddle on the ground.

“Thank you! I cannot thank you enough!” You trap the green-haired man in a crushing hold as you repeat your thanks. Grabbing the metal scraps, you run towards the back railing, and with all your strength, you throw it off the ship. The sight of it barely making it to fall on the sandy beach let you know that after all the hell you’ve experienced, you were finally going to be okay. Soon enough, the waves would take the metal and drag it to the depths.

“Alright, everyone! We’re on our way to the Sabaody Archipelago!” All the crewmates aboard the ship celebrated the new chapter they were about to open. You couldn’t help but celebrate along, as this would also be a new chapter for you-

“(Y/N)!” Your heart stops at the sound of a familiar scream. Turning around, you see the devil himself running out of the woods. The broken collar in his hand. You feel your heart drop thinking about that if you hadn’t gotten that cut off sooner, that would have been you in his grip.

The celebration of the crewmates left your mind as you see Kidd running towards the ship your on, only to be stopped by the salty water that protected it. You were far enough to that if he tried to get in the water, he’d definitely drown for sure. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear him.

Gripping the railing, even from so far away, you feel his haunting eyes staring at you. Your throat seems to go dry as you see more of his goons appear from the woods. To your relief somewhat, you see Heat still alive and walking. At least your savior wasn’t hurt.

Even so, you continued to look at Kidd, and you knew he was looking at you. It felt like getting rid of a life-threatening illness and seeing him grow farther and farther into the distance. It felt like you were healing.

“You can run and hide (Y/N), but you’ll always belong to me!”

Then again, illness comes back when your least expect it.

#one piece x reader #eustass captain kid x reader #eustass kid x reader #tw: violence #tw: abuse #tw: bl00d #dark content things #tw: noncon

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camillecrellin · 9 months

Text

Polaroids — Ex-girlfriend! Ellie Williams

Synopsis: Ellie is injured on her first patrol back with you, bringing up old memories as you help her.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Gun shot wound, Swearing, Joel hasn't gone golfing with Abby, Ex! Ellie, Kissing, Sex jokes, Lesbians being lesbains.

A/N: I don't know wheater to do a part 2 to this or not. I have never written smut so I feel like it would just turn out shit.

You and Ellie had been dating for a year and half. Three months ago, though, Ellie broke it off. Ellie wanted a break. A time to herself. She doesn’t really remember why she broke up with you. Maybe she feared the commitment or hurting you in the long run.

When Ellie asked you to leave her, you protested but ultimately complied. The last three months had been hard, and Maria had respected that. She didn’t pair you up in Patrol anymore.

Well, that was until today, when Dina called out sick last minute. The only person available was you. And, well, you were mature enough to agree to help.

Put Ellie’s and your differences beside you and do your job. And so, you did, and it was going well. Until you and Ellie stumbled across a group of smugglers.

You had managed to either scare away or kill the smugglers without injury. However, Ellie hadn’t. A bullet straight to the thigh, causing her to be sitting on the floor with you got out the supplies in your backpack and tried to take the bullet shrapnel out of her leg.

“Ow,” Ellie hisses. Her jaw is clenched tight, trying to ignore the burning pain in her leg and she winces. “How bad is it?”

The care you were giving made Ellie think back to her old patrol day with you. She had been the one to push you away. She’d broken up with you, but here you are, fretting over her. She doesn’t deserve you.

The bullet had ripped straight through her thigh, and not even a moment after she’d fallen, you were there. You were always there for her, even when she thought she didn’t need it.

"Not gonna lie... pretty shit." You joke. You try to lighten up the conversation, make Ellie feel at ease. But Ellie scrunches her nose in annoyance at your joke.

The wound was actually pretty terrible, not something to joke about with light-hearted sarcasm.

You took the shrapnel out of her thigh. Disinfecting your hands before starting to bandage up her leg.

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow together as she struggles against the pain in her thigh.

She’d broken up with you, Ellie thinks to herself. She wanted her independence and to be seen as capable on her own. Yet here you are, like always, helping her out of a difficult situation, helping her.

Tying up the bandage tight, you smirk. "But thanks to me, you should be fine."

“Yeah, yeah.” Ellie scoffs playfully, the corners of her mouth curling into a small smile. “Thanks, Doc, what would I do without you?”

She glances up at you, tilting her head to the side like a mischievous child. She can’t help but feel somewhat giddy and at ease with your presence now, even if you’re her ex.

You roll your eyes, and nudge Ellie's shoulder to get her to stand up. "Let's head back to Jackson… Finish early. I'm sure Maria won't mind with your leg and all.”

“Alright, alright.” Ellie groans slightly and straightens up fully, still clutching her wounded thigh.

You hold your hand out, making Ellie let out a small scoff, “I can still walk. I’ll be fine, you know.”

"You're soo stubborn, Els." You mutter as you get on her horses, Iris, not helping Ellie despite knowing it’s probably better for her.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ellie playfully sticks her tongue out at you, but then quickly straightens back up again when the pain in her thigh reminds her to avoid putting more pressure on the leg. She hops up on her own horse, and rides right next to you as you head back to Jackson.

Ellie glances over at you repeatedly, her look soft and sentimental for just a few moments. Even though you guys are broken up, it’s obvious that she still cares for you.

You catch one of Ellie’s stares, making you laugh. "What?" You ask.

Ellie immediately turns her gaze forward, her eyebrows furrowed, and her face flushed with embarrassment. “Uh, nothing.”

She pauses for a moment, but her lips start curling into a small smile again. “I just, uh…” Her voice trails off as she struggles to find words. It’s obvious that she’s been thinking about you.

"You just, uh..." You mock Ellie with a small laugh. "Take a picture, it'll last longer... Oh wait, you still have those polaroids of us up in your room."

“Oh, shut up.” Ellie groans, her face flushed a bright red. “How do you even know that?” She asks, her voice laced with mock outrage.

Ellie knows it’s true, though. She does still have those polaroids. She hasn’t gotten rid of them because they remind her of some of the best times she’d ever had, and she doesn’t want to forget. She isn’t ready to let go of her memories with you, even after the breakup.

"Joel." You plainly answer.

Joel had told you one day a month ago when you two were on patrol together. He kept on mentioning how stupid and desperate Ellie had become since you two broke up. And how you needed to get back together immediately so she wasn’t in his house for the rest of her life.

After the initial shock passes, Ellie groans, her face still bright red. “That bastard,” She curses softly under her breath. “Why would he tell you that of all things?” Ellie asks, but in fact she doesn’t mind all too much that you knew.

"Because I'm amazing and he loves me like a third daughter." You playfully boast.

Ellie laughs again and she hits her hand against your shoulder, and she rides past you now leading the way. “You’re so cocky.”

“Says you!"

“I can back up my cockiness.” Ellie remarks with a grin. “You? Not so much.”

Ellie can’t help but laugh, a small sparkle in her eye as she teases you as you both ride back to Jackson together, the sound of their horses’ hooves clacking against the ground following closely behind.

As Ellie and you enter Jackson, you smile at Maria, telling her about the situation. Turning to Ellie, Maria’s face filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah…” Ellie nodded as she came to a halt. Watching you get off your horse, Ellie turned back to Maria. “Just don’t tell Joel ‘cause he’ll either be up my ass for being stupid or be worried sick.”

Maria nodded, walking off as someone came to her with another matter. Making Ellie sighs and hop off her horse, her leg paining her more than before.

“Man, that leg wound might be worse than I thought. I don’t think I can really put much weight on it anymore.” Ellie winces as she limps a little bit, clutching her thigh with her hand.

She looks at you again with a small, sheepish smile. “Could you… I don’t know, help me walk?”

You nod, quickly making your way to Ellie, and place a hand around her waist.

"Pussy." You playfully mutter in Ellie's ear as the two of you start walking.

Ellie scrunches her nose in annoyance at your playful teasing, a light blush forming on her cheeks. But she still leans into you, placing her arm over your shoulder as she walks to rely on your support.

“I’m not a pussy,” Ellie whispers back at you with a small chuckle. “Just helping you do your good deed towards the injured for the day.” She smiles weakly and continues to walk, clearly in a bit of pain.

You notice Ellie's pain, making you ask her, concerned. "You okay?"

“Yeah… no, not really to be honest.” Ellie pauses for a moment. She’d been trying to play off her pain with humour, but it was apparent that she was really struggling.

The pain in her leg was getting worse and worse. She could still walk, but with heavy hesitation and a grimace. She was doing her best to push through the discomfort.

“My leg kinda sucks, honestly.” Ellie shrugs.

You sympathetically smile, tightening your grip of Ellie’s waist, causing you to blush at the close contact. "Luckily for you, your house is less than a minute away."

“Yeah, thankfully.” Ellie replies softly, trying to push through the discomfort of walking.

Once they reach Ellie’s house, she opens up the door and steps inside. She looks back at you, raising an eyebrow. “You’re like my personal wheelchair for the day, huh?” She teases you, a faint smile returning to her face.

"Yeah, how could you live without me?" You sarcastically say as you both make it to Ellie's room, placing Ellie down onto her bed.

Ellie grunts and squirms as she’s placed onto her bed, but then she sighs in relief as the exhaustion and the pain from her leg sets in. She’s been pushing herself beyond her limits.

“Man, my leg hurts like a bastard.” She groans, her face now flushed and red with discomfort. Ellie props her legs up onto her pillows and turns towards you, just as your about to leave the room. “I’m gonna need your wheelchair services some more, probably.”

Reaching for the door handle, you stop. An amused look plastered on your face as you ask, "Is that your attempt at making me stay over?"

"Do you want me to try harder?" Ellie asks playfully, her voice laced with teasing.

"I'm willing to play the pity card and pretend like I'm super hurt and need you to take care of me... or I could flirt with you." Ellie smirks and pushes up onto her elbows. "Your choice, wheelchair girl."

You sigh, not responding to Ellie's last comment, instead you stop yourself from leaving and look around Ellie's room. Coming across the polaroids you were talking about earlier, you picked one up of you two with a laugh. "You sentimental fuck, why do you have one of us kissing?"

Ellie rolls her eyes at your comment, but she can’t help but think back to the moment when you two shared your first kiss. After being best friend since she first arrived in Jackson, you and Ellie had both agreed that you were more than just friends.

Ellie remembers what it felt like to kiss you for the first time, as if you two had sealed this special relationship with a passionate and tender kiss. Ellie can’t deny that the memory, and this picture of it, holds a special place in her heart.

"Oh, shut up." Ellie mutters playfully, only slightly glancing towards you as she blushed.

Rolling your eyes, you pick up the entire pile of polaroids you, Ellie and friends and sit beside Ellie, showing off the one of Ellie, yourself, Dina and Jesse at the Tipsy Bison. "Oh my god, I remember day soo well. Dina was fucking shit-faced."

Ellie starts chuckling at the memory. "Yeah, she really was, wasn't she?"

The four of you had decided to head to a bar together when you were 17. Dina had never really drank alcohol up until this point, and didn't realise how much she could drink before getting tipsy. Soon enough, she was absolutely hammered.

"Hey, do you remember what happened afterwards?” Ellie asks. Her expression is playful and teasing, but you know that she’s genuinely curious and wants you to share this memory with you.

You furrow your brow and shakes you head no.

“You don’t remember what happened after we left the bar?” Ellie asks curiously. The four of you had headed out together, but Dina got so drunk that you had to take care of her. You and Ellie ended up heading back to your place since you were both sober enough to stay up. She’d been staying the night.

Ellie, once again examines your face, and raises an eyebrow at you with a smirking expression on her face. “Or are you pretending not to remember?”

You, indeed, knew of the memory. Biting your lip, you whisper. "Maybe I just want you to tell me."

“Oh, is that so?” Ellie questions playfully. “Well, if that’s what you want, I don’t think I’ll be able to resist telling you.”

Ellie pauses for a moment, her grin growing slightly wider on her face. “So how much detail do you actually want? Because I can go pretty graphic. Proper X rated.” Ellie let out a small laugh.

"Actually, why don't you just show me?" You suggest, leaning into towards Ellie. Your eyes flickering down to her lips, whispering, “Don’t miss a detail.”

Ellie is taken aback for a moment at your suggestion and your sudden proximity, but her eyes eventually meet yours, the blush on her face now spreading across her face. She doesn’t know why, but something about this situation and your question feels strangely intimate. Something about it feels more special and romantic than it probably should.

“Well…” Ellie trails off, hesitating for a moment. “I won’t miss any detail.”

She presses her lips to yours, giving you a gentle, tender kiss. It’s not a passionate, love-filled kiss, but a sweet one. You melt into the kiss and place your arms around Ellie’s neck, while her hands trail under your shirt and around your hips, rubbing circles on your bare skin.

It was just like that night in the polaroid. Ellie didn’t miss a single detail.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou x reader #tlou x reader #the last of us x reader

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heavenhealy · 1 year

Text

genre: smut w a side of angst, afab!reader, boyfriends best friend!au

word count: 4.3k

summary: it’s wrong, you both know it, but how are you supposed to resist the pull of his hands, the ticklish strands of his hair on your neck, the whispered promises to fuck you better than his best friend can?

warnings: infidelity, alcohol consumption, swearing, unprotected sex, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), degradation and praise, allusions to pain kink, spit, matty is a tease, marking, coming inside, slight overstimulation, dom!matty x sub!reader, public play (teasing but no sex), hair pulling, lemme know if I missed anything

a/n: hiiiii, this is my first matty fic but def not my first fic, so I hope y'all like it! I have been harboring so much brain rot for him lately so I just wanted to share it with a likeminded audience. I purposely left readers boyfriend unnamed bc I honestly couldn’t be bothered, considering hes not thatttt important, but y'all are free to think of him as anyone. That being said, please do not go below the cut if you are 1) under 18 or 2) uncomfortable with the content. This is your final warning :)

ps. I didn’t edit or proofread so there may be typos!

The greasy bowl of popcorn has long been empty, but only now as the credits roll are you able to slip out from the weight of your boyfriends’ dozing frame to return it to the kitchen. You dump the bowl in the sink where it clatters against the rest of your unwashed dishes and you sigh. The last thing you want to do right now is wash dishes, but you turn the tap to warm and squat down to find the drying rack under the sink.

Footsteps creak the wooden floor behind you, accompanied by a wave of cigarette scented air. Matty. Goosebumps rise along the back of your neck as you rise. Your heart hammers at an alarming rate and you try your best to act exceedingly normal even as he approaches you. Just as you drip some dish soap into the filling sink, his hands settle on your hips. You can feel the warmth of his palms and the calloused fingertips through the thin fabric of the t-shirt you've probably had since your freshman year of college. The tap continues to run, gushing water loudly into the sink basin. Despite the steam rising from the hot water you shiver as he presses his lean body into your back. A traitorous hand sneaks up to clear your hair away from the nape of your neck and your mind whirs to remember the last time you had felt quite so electric. A dark, bouncy curl strays across your ear so quickly you almost think you’re imagining it.

“Lame ass boyfriend you’ve got out there, love.” His voice is silky, tinged with a hint of sleepiness that somehow only makes him more attractive. You can picture the way his mouth curves into a self satisfied smile as you automatically nod. It feels bad to admit, but you truly had been bored by your boyfriend lately. The spark between you had died long ago but you were simply afraid to admit it.

But Matty certainly wasn’t. “Not even a quarter past 10 and he’s already asleep.” His breath ghosts into your ear, a whisper meant just for you even though you knew no one would catch you. The thrill makes you needy, keening against his body as he reaches around to turn off the tap. A sudden, deafening silence rushes in, and the apartment is so still you’re afraid that time has actually stopped.

“He had a long day,” you amend as Matty’s teeth catch the shell of your ear, tugging playfully.

“Jesus, love. I had a long day too, and I’d still stay up all night if you asked me to.” You blush and resist the urge to squeeze your thighs together at his words. “Such a pretty thing shouldn’t have to go to waste.” Your head lolls against his shoulder and he knows he has you. His aura intoxicates you and you can’t help but think of all the time he existed in your peripherals: first as the eccentric best friend of the guy you just started talking to, then your boyfriend’s best friend and roommate, and then after one night where your boyfriend was away, your dirtiest little secret.

A well-worked hand cups your breast through your shirt. Your nipple pebbles immediately at his touch and he laughs the snarky little laugh you would usually roll your eyes at. He knows, you both know, he could reach underneath the shirt and easily have his way with you, pinning you against his frame as his cock hardens and tweaking your nipples until you’re wailing.

You allow your brain to run away with the fantasy; your boyfriend waking up to the sounds of your pleasure, dazed and confused until he stumbles into the kitchen to see Matty licking between your thighs like a man starved.

But Matty likes the game. He takes a sick pleasure in the cat and mouse, in teasing you while you could get caught. He loves the deep blush that overtakes your face when he sends you a risky text or makes a point to clench his jaw when you catch his eye.

He loves that whenever the three of you hang out, you often excuse yourself to the bathroom and send him photo evidence of the mess of slick he caused in your underwear.

He rolls his hips against you, sure to press his cock firmly into the flesh of your ass. The counter underneath your fingers is your saving grace as he builds a torturous rhythm, nipping and pulling at your ear in a way that has no right to be so sexy. Every time a piece of his hair brushes against your neck you feel as if you’ve gone insane; like someone has attached all of your neurons to a jumper cable. A heady moan escapes your mouth before you can stop it, and Matty rewards you with an indulgent groan of his own. The push of his hips is intoxicating, and the persistent arousal gathering in your lower stomach makes you dizzy. With your eyes closed and his mouth at your neck, it’s easy to pretend that this is simply your life; that Matty is the one you met first, the boyfriend you share a bed and a history with, and that this little kitchen tryst is a sexy story you’ll remember when you miss him and not under struck with guilt.

“Y/N?” It’s far away, the call of your name, but it distinctly belongs to your boyfriend. Ice fills your veins and you still, overly aware of the tight grip Matty keeps on you even as you try to wiggle away from him and reply. As much as you hate to admit it, you’re happy he doesn’t relinquish you so easily.

“Y-yeah?” You call back, hoping your boyfriend chalks the shake in your voice up to anything other than his best friend’s hips grinding slowly against you. The couch creaks tellingly as he gets up, and your throat closes up in fear. You can hear his slow descent toward the kitchen, his sleepy shuffle giving Matty ample time to play around with you, and he does just that. His hand drops from your breast and his hips still, but his mouth stays sinfully close to your ear.

“Good night, love. Come find me if you need someone to fuck you better.” Before your mind can even fully wrap around his statement he disappears, presumably to his bedroom. The absence of his body leaves you cold and frustrated, but the presence of your boyfriend forces you to pretend you’re okay.

He looks rumpled and sleepy when he finds you in the kitchen, frowning at the time on the stove and the sink full of bubbles.

“C’mon, dishes can wait until the morning.” He gives you an easy smile, one that would have made you giddy to kiss him a few months ago. Now you just nod and skirt away from his approaching figure, acutely aware of the fact that you would smell just like Matty if he got too close.

“Go-go lay down, I need to use the bathroom first!” The excuse sounds lame even to your own ears, but he doesn't seem to have the energy to argue as he slips down the hallway, leaving you to purge the evidence before crawling into bed.

----

The restaurant was way fancier than you were expecting it to be, and even though you had pulled on a mid-length sleek black dress with pearled straps you felt out of place. The open planned room was bustling with diners and servers; but most of the noise comes from the exposed kitchen. You can see the slew of chefs as they work and the clashing of pots and pans makes it almost impossible to hear your boyfriend. Or Matty.

He wasn’t supposed to come, to be honest. The night was meant to be a celebration for just you and your boyfriend, who had recently wrapped up a project for a huge client. It’d been a long time since the two of you went to a fancy restaurant, and you had honestly been excited to get dressed up and spend the night with him. When you showed up to his apartment, you were stunned to see Matty, sprawled across the couch in his infinite glory, wearing a fancy black suit.

“W-what?” You stuttered at the way his eyes pierced you, his hand resting casually on his stomach.

“’M coming with you guys. Can’t let my best mate go on a celebratory dinner without me paying for some drinks, can I?” He flashes you a dazzling smile that disarms you just enough you can’t find it in you to be upset.

So now you’re a party of three at the bustling restaurant, and Matty has already ordered a fancy bottle of wine for the table. You hate to admit just how much of your attention he’s stolen already, sitting so close to you that you can feel the heat radiating off of his thigh onto your own. Despite the interesting calamity of the kitchen and the murmurs of slightly-shouted conversations, all you can focus on is the curve of Matty’s lips, the way his eyes shimmer in the low-light. Your boyfriend seems more than happy to idly enjoy the scenery, pointing out the chefs and their specific techniques to you despite your waning interest. The wine goes down easy, and you pour yourself a second glass as Matty starts another inane conversation about whatever dish is getting pumped out of the open kitchen.

The fuzzy feeling from the alcohol is welcoming, enveloping you in a warmth that helps distract you from the press of Matty’s thigh against your own. You smile gratefully at the waiter who brings you a pasta dish and dig in, thankful for the distraction. You’re careful not to move an inch, so you know it’s Matty who’s pushing further into your side, and you’re sure that the night is going sideways when you feel his pinky finger trace along the top of your thigh. You swallow hard, trying your best not to shudder at his touch. His wastes no time in grasping the meat of your thigh under his palm, squeezing just enough that a spark of pain morphs to pleasure.

“Matty.” You hope there’s venom in your voice as you warn him against his fingers creeping closer to the inside of your thigh. He just smiles in your peripheral before taking a bite of his own food, disguising the movement of his hand underneath the table skillfully. Arousal runs through you, and you feel your panties soak as a long finger skims across the material. Under anyone but Matty’s touch you would be embarrassed at how fast you became a wreck, but the easy pleasure of his fingers dancing over your clit sends you into happy bliss.

Matty’s fingers slow and simply press against you, building an internal pleasure that burns into your stomach. You let out a heavy breath and drain your glass of wine in one gulp. Matty laughs, and your boyfriend raises an eyebrow at your behavior. “Maybe you should pour her some more? Don’ let it go to waste.” Matty nods toward the bottle inches from your boyfriends plate. You see him hesitate, but he relents and grasps it, leaning forward to pour you a new glass. There’s a moment of anxiety as his point of view shifts and Matty makes no attempt to move his hand away from your center. In fact, his fingers stir back to life as soon as your boyfriend leans slightly forward to pour you a new glass. Matty slips his fingers under your panties as soon as your boyfriend is back in his seat. His fingers slip against your bare pussy and you close your thighs around his hand.

“T-thanks,” you stutter, avoiding picking up the glass as a tremor wracks you. Matty takes another casual bite of his pasta and puts on his best confused face. His eyebrows furrow as he fakes a concerned look over you.

“You aren’t gonna have any? Thought you liked it?” A dexterous finger circles your clit mind numbingly slowly. You glare at him and take another drink. Now that you’re well on the way to being drunk, every single sensation is heightened. A dark pit of arousal is consuming you and the desire to sink your teeth into the flesh of his neck is overwhelming despite the company. Desire makes you bold as you bat your eyes at Matty, biting into the flesh of your lip.

“I love it.” You cant your hips forward into his hand, sure to emphasize just how wet he had gotten you. It’s debauched, and guilt begins to creep up the back of your neck, but Matty growls under his breath and pushes a finger inside of your walls and it melts away.

Your boyfriend is blissfully unaware of the mess between your legs all night. He asks no questions about the way your face flushes (easily excused by the wine), the way Matty only eats his courses with one hand (he’s always doing some new eccentric shit), or the way neither of you are able to carry on a conversation for more than a few seconds (the restaurant is quite loud).

----

The weather is ridiculously hot, and of course it’s the one day of the year you decide to clean and rearrange your apartment. To be fair, you had begun the process of emptying out old clothes and housewares at the beginning of the week, and you had skillfully ignored moving your big pieces of furniture up until today. Your apartment is hot despite the fans you’ve pulled out of storage, and the heavy wooden bed frame you had insisted on buying will not budge. No matter how hard you pushed or pulled on the frame, it stays stubbornly in place. So you call your boyfriend.

And he can’t come, called into work on account of a picky client who demanded someone fix his renderings today. But Matty is miraculously free; and he’s on his way as soon as you text him.

And of course, he looks sinful. A plain white t-shirt with a scoop neck affords a wonderful view of his collarbones and sun kissed skin. The urge to pull his stupid smirk into a kiss overtakes you, so for once you listen to the yearning and pull him against you. Matty breathes a chuckle against your lips before indulging you. His tongue slips easily into your mouth and you relish in pressing against the hard planes of his body. His chest rumbles in appreciation when he takes a handful of your ass, fingers hooking down dangerously close to your pussy. You feel alight, floating inside of an undefinable cloud of pleasure as he consumes you.

You relish in the way his chest heaves with exertion once you part. “Need help moving a bed?” He wipes at his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “Sounds like a shitty chat up line to me.”

A frustrated groan passes your lips, and you ignore the bait he’s clearly dangling in front of you in favor of soaking up air from a fan. Between the heat of the day and the fire of arousal in your stomach, it’s needed.

“Very funny. Now can you please help me?” You don’t wait for his answer as you walk to your bedroom. His socked footsteps quickly follow your own, and in seconds you’re both standing at the foot of your bed. It’s oddly domestic, with the rumpled blankets gathered at the foot and the delicate floral sheets you got on a discount.

“Cute,” Matty comments as he plops himself fully onto the bed, legs sprawled wide and inviting. You try to ignore the bulge tenting his sweatpants and put on a brave face.

“I need you to help me move it, not lay on it.” You whine, reluctantly shuffling within his reach. Matty catches you easily around the waist and it takes no time for you to collapse into his embrace. He nuzzles into your neck and it’s startling how nicely he fits around you.

Never one to delay, Matty licks a line of heat down your neck and you lose the last bit of your control. “You smell so good.” The simple sentiment sends liquid heat to your pussy. A sharp nip to your neck makes you squirm and you know that you’ll have a hickey to conceal in the morning.

His breath puffs against your neck, and you have the urge to turn and face him, tired of looking at the wall instead of his face. As your hips shift he groans, pressing his hips forward until you can feel the twitch of his cock against you.

“Something you need?” You know the innocent game drives him crazy but you use it anyway and he stalls, assessing the situation with that astonishing wit. The sharp tug of your hair brings you into a place of happy submission. Matty wraps the tendrils between his fingers and makes sure you aren’t going anywhere before cocking your head until you’re stuck staring at him. The chocolate brown of his eyes is nearly eaten up by lust. This close, you can smell the intoxicating mix of his woody cologne and the beginnings of sweat.

“Please,” the word leaves you before you can even guess at what you’re asking for. Luckily Matty has learned to read your body like his favorite guitar. A delicate, fluttering kiss to your nose is just enough to disarm you as he uses the corded strength of his arms to guide you down his chest until you’re faced with the tantalizing push of his cock against his sweatpants. His fingers untangle from your hair but don’t leave, just allowing you the room to work. Something clicks in your mind and the only thing you care about is getting him off- feeling the familiar weight of his cock in your mouth, or the way his fingernails leave untraceable evidence of your tryst on your scalp.

You’re only half surprised to find he has no underwear on but it only makes your job easier. As soon as your tongue makes contact with his cock he’s moaning, guiding your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and controlling your pace. Spit leaks from the corners of your lips as you finally engulf the head of his cock, but the mess only sends both of you further into oblivion.

“Fuck, you’re so good at taking my cock.” His voice drips with arousal and you squirm, bucking your hips against the bed as you continue to swallow him down. Matty head no problem taking the lead, pushing you down until your throat spasms. Eyes fluttering, you try your best to make eye contact with Matty as you wiggle your tongue along the throbbing vein.

“Pretty girl.” His Adam’s apple bobs, and the melodic noises that spill from his lips only spur you on.

As his hips twitch and his grip loosens you take it upon yourself to change the pace on him, intent on making him cum. His head tips back into your pillows and his cock twitches violently, the delicious cue to the end goal you’re always going for.

“C’mon, off now,” Matty tugs at the roots of your hair, erupting pleasure that makes you moan around him listlessly. “Fuck, seriously, baby, ‘m not coming in your mouth.” With surprising restraint he pulls your head away and angles his hips out of your reach. Empty, your eyes water as you pout. Spit decorates your chin and Matty’s eyes glaze over before he wipes it away with his thumb.

“You dirty little thing. Asked you to stop and you kept on like you couldn’t even hear me.” A telltale current of amusement intertwines with the chastising, and curls of arousal have you nodding stupidly.

“Cock drunk.” He tuts and shucks his shirt over his head. A shit eating grin splits his face as you remove your own, shucking off your bra shortly after without any preamble. Matty makes an appreciative noise at the sight of your tits and surges forward to push you down against the bed.

He’s on them near immediately, indulging in the newly revealed flesh. His tongue laves over one nipple as he pulls at the other with deft fingers. Your back bends as his teeth scrape across the mounds of flesh.

“D-don’t leave a mark,” the idea of your boyfriend seeing the marks he surely didn't leave sends your mind reeling, but Matty just laughs evilly.

“You seriously think he’s gonna be seein’ these tits?” His gaze hardens at the edges and you’re momentarily stunned. You know he’s right, and you hate how much arousal gushes out of you because of it. “Cause who do you belong to?” He’s challenging you now- he knows that you’re on the same page about the truth of your relationship.

“Y-you, Matty.”

He rewards you with a blossoming hickey at the swell of your breast which he instantly soothes with the flat of his tongue. In a rush he works your shorts and underwear off of you, exposing the heat of your pussy to the room. Wetness sticks to your thighs and you’re desperate to have him inside you finally. Matty settles over your lower stomach, tracing his fingers delicately across the skin there as your hips jump wildly.

“Matty, please just fuck me, I can’t wait-” your words trail into a heady moan as he swipes two fingers down your slit, collecting your wetness with a happy hum. Your mind blanks at the touch that almost fills the empty feeling in your stomach, but you know his cock is the only thing that will satisfy you.

He curls the fingers across your clit until tears spring into your eyes, and then he sticks them in his mouth. The lewd sound makes you blush, and the sight of his eyes rolling back in satisfaction is one you want to bottle and keep forever. His eyebrows knit together at your taste, and you feel like you might combust.

“Matty!” You grasp his forearm and use all your remaining strength to pull him back towards you. “Please, please just fuck me already. Seriously, wanna feel you.” You push your bare hips into his own and a dangerous glint lights his eyes. “Oh, love.” You know he’s relenting when you feel him steady his hand on the base of his cock and slide the head over your clit slowly. “You know how many nights I’ve heard you fuck him?” You shake your head dumbly even though you and your boyfriend had certainly been the butt of jokes the morning after, back when the relationship was new and exciting for you both. Matty’s hips flex forward and he pushes into you slowly. The stretch is pure pleasure, and your nerves set on fire at the intrusion.

“All those times,” his voice shakes as he presses into you, a stray curl ghosting over your forehead. “...you never begged him as hard as you beg for me. Tha’s how I know you really want it. Want me.” Before you know it he’s filling you and huffing praise into your ear. Your whole body shifts as he sets his pace and your nails run over his shoulders, surely leaving reddened marks in their wake.

“Yeah, wan’ you.” Pleasant fuzziness engulfs your body, the ebb and flow of his hips sending you to a plane of pleasure only Matty can take you to. Two deft fingers swirl around your clit harshly. Your bodies slick with sweat and glide together intoxicatingly, and if human limitations didn't exist, you would stay like this forever; your bodies existing in a perfect tandem.

“So fuckin’ hot, sweetest little pussy I’ve ever had.” Matty’s rambling makes you dizzy as your orgasm approaches rapidly. You don’t even have to warn him that you’re on the edge for him to know, increasing the movement of his fingers until your vision is spotting with black. Your walls clench tightly around him as you finally come, clawing at the plane of his back and chanting his name.

Matty comes shortly after, the warmth of his release filling your deepest, darkest desire. It’s sickly satisfying to feel his cock twitch and empty inside of you, to hear the deep moans that spill from Matty’s kiss bitten lips as he fills you to the brim.

Still connected, Matty collapses to the side of you, capturing you in a sweet lilting kiss that nearly makes you dizzier than the orgasm. Your tongue burns with a sentence you know you aren’t allowed to say. Matty’s face morphs as he sees you choke on the words, and he smooths down your mussed hair with a heavy hand.

“Okay?” He asks, a gentle check-in.

“Yeah,” your voice is hoarse so you clear your throat and try again. “Yeah, it's just that...we still have to move this stupid bed.”

As if his brain was on a delay from the sexual exertion, it takes a few seconds before his award winning laugh wracks his body. The bed shudders under him, and you can't help but laugh along with him, dumbstruck with love. You swallow the words again and pat his cheek lovingly.

“Right, Matthew. Let’s get going. Believe it or not, I didn’t text you just to get you into my bed.” He pouts cutely and sighs with dramatic flair as you untangle yourself from him.

“If we move the bed, can we...?” His teeth shine as he smiles at you, and if you didn’t know any better, you would think the glimmer in his eyes reflects something like the words you refuse to say.

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