#i slept for 12 straight hours last night it was insane

[grizzly-bear-official]

quirked up grizzly bear with a little bit of swag busts it down salmon style

are they goated with the sauce?

#bear barks #not bears #i slept for 12 straight hours last night it was insane #i needed that so bad

[iwritesickfic]

can i request theo and seamus where theo gets seamus sick and then feels super guilty about it

thanks for the prompt! i really like how this turned out!

When he hears Seamus on the other end of the line, Theo's heart sinks.

"Are you ok?" He asks, cutting off Seamus in the middle of a sentence.

"Yeah, of course," he says, but it only confirms what Theo heard the first time.

"You're sick," he says, and Seamus sighs. "I got you sick."

It doesn't happen often, but Theo always feels terrible when he gets Seamus sick. Seamus always insists he's fine, it's not so bad, he doesn't care - because he's the perfect boyfriend - but it doesn't really help. Mostly because Theo knows it's not true.

"It's not your fault," Seamus says, punctuating his sentence with a sniffle.

"It 100% is. It is directly and demonstrably my fault." He had an awful sinus infection the last two weeks, and he's been leaving a trail of contagion wherever he goes. Including Seamus's apartment. And bed. He's actually been living with him for the last week. Before he got his antibiotics, he was totally wiped out - too sick to even sit up straight - and Seamus was coming over every night to be with him. Eventually he invited Theo to just stay with him until he felt better.

Of course, Theo fought. Not too hard, but as hard as he could with a 103 fever. They've been together more than a year, but he still feels like any illness is a huge imposition. And of course, he didn't want Seamus to catch it. The first night he even slept in the guest room, but Seamus ended up in bed with him anyway, so he just moved into the master.

At first, it was the cold from hell. Fever, aches, exhaustion, and so much sinus pressure it felt like his head was going to explode. His nose was leaking constantly, and no amount of blowing, wiping or sneezing would make it stop. His eyes hurt, his head hurt, and eventually so did his ears and throat.

Then it kept getting worse. And worse. Until his fever was hovering at 104 and his head hurt so badly he couldn't open his eyes.

The concierge medicine service he pays way too much for put in a prescription for him without him having to even go in. He's sick often enough that they know when he needs antibiotics. The medicine cleared up most of it, but he's still a little congested and achy. Today was the first day he felt well enough to go into the studio, and he was heading home, calling Seamus to ask about his day. But now, he taps the driver on the shoulder and tells him to head to Brooklyn instead.

"Demonstrably?" Seamus's congested voice asks over the phone, and Theo rolls his eyes.

"Shut up." His chest is aching with guilt. "Christ, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, love." The classic line.

"Of course it's not, you're crunching for the album." Seamus has been busy recording for the last month for his debut, and this is the worst possible time for him to get sick. Right as he's about to start working 12 hour days. His studio is at least in his house, but it's not easy. And Theo has made it ten times worse. "I'm coming over."

"Really, I'm ok. It's not a big deal."

"Well it's already happening. I'm on my way."

"Teddy." Theo can practically picture the look on his face. His head tilted to one side, eyebrows slightly raised.

"Shay," he says back.

"Ok," Seamus finally says with a sigh. "I'll see you soon."

Theo's guilt only multiplies when Seamus opens the door. His eyes are red rimmed and hazy, his sinuses visibly swollen. He has a little flush on his cheeks and nose too, and he's shivering in his thick sweater. He still smiles when he sees Theo though, and brings him in for a hug.

He's warm to the touch, but not insanely hot. Seamus doesn't really run fevers like he does, it's not necessarily an indication of how bad he feels. He's the one to kiss Seamus on the cheek first, which makes him smile again, eyes closed. Normally Theo doesn't initiate that kind of thing, but all bets are off when Seamus doesn't feel well. Especially if it's his fault.

"Hey," he says softly, and Seamus rests his forehead on Theo's shoulder, humming softly in the back of his throat. "I thought you said you were fine," he teases, running one hand through Seamus's curls. Seamus sniffles wetly.

"I lied," he mumbles, and Theo laughs.

"C'mon, let's get inside."

Theo closes the door behind him and toes off his shoes, hanging his coat on the rack as Seamus stands in the hall, leaning heavily against the doorframe. He pulls a crumpled tissue from the pocket of his shorts and rubs at his nose. His nostrils are already red, and damp even after he shoves the tissue back into his pocket.

His sweater is hanging off him, intricate cable knit and mustard yellow. Theo tugs at the hem.

"Thrift?" Seamus shakes his head, rubbing his nose again, this time with his wrist.

"My mum made it," he says, his voice still thick with congestion. Theo slides his hands underneath, resting his hands on Seamus's hips. His bare skin is hot to the touch.

"How was work?" Theo asks, and Seamus clears his throat, which leads to a few dry coughs.

"I took a day off. Not everyone works until they're too sick to stand up," he says, smirking.

"Fair. But I get a lot done," he teases back. Their bodies are getting closer and closer together.

"You'd get more done if you weren't bedridden for a week," Seamus says, looping his arms around Theo's neck. They're so close now. Theo can smell his lemon ginger cough drops. He presses a kiss to Seamus's cheek. Seamus laughs softly. "I thought I finally got you out of my house," he says, nudging his nose against Theo's.

"If you think I'm leaving you here by yourself with the cold I gave you, you're a fucking idiot," he whispers back, and leans in for a proper kiss. Their lips only brush before Seamus pulls back. It's only by an inch or so, but it's enough of a rejection for Theo to get it. "It's all the same germs."

"Well I can't breathe through my nose," Seamus says, sniffling again as it starts to drip. It could probably use the tissue he's got in his pocket, but he seems unwilling to let go of Theo.

"I'll make it quick," Theo says, before leaning back in. The kiss is short, but still deep enough to sate the desire that's burning in his stomach. He quickly goes back in for another, but it's broken off when Seamus retreats just in time for a sneeze. It's loud and wet and harsh, aimed into his shoulder, his whole head snapping forward with the force of it.

His eyelids flutter, and he has to pull away to fish the tissue out of his pocket. He gets it up to his mouth just in time for two more violent sneezes, and when he's finished he looks dazed, wiping his face with the already destroyed tissue.

"Jesus, babe. Bless you." He runs his hand over Seamus's chest, digging a travel packet of tissues from his own pocket and handing them to him. He takes them gratefully, trying to clean the mess from his face.

"Thanks," he finally says, voice even more stuffed than before. He goes to shove the tissue back in his pocket, but Theo grabs it from him.

"What are we in world war two? Why are we rationing these?"

"It's still good," Seamus says, and Theo rolls his eyes.

"Go sit down, weirdo. I'm making you tea." He's halfway down the hall to the kitchen when he turns back. "And I'm buying more damn tissues."

#my writing #sickfic #whump #illness kink #snz #oc theo #oc seamus #snz kink #fever

[offtorivendell]

Bat Bros' Brewery: 🦇³

Apologies that this is late to the game. I'd meant to have this modern AU fic properly finished as a one shot for Day 4 (Bat Boys), then Day 7 (Free Day), of @azrielweek2022, but last week coincided with a lot of our moving preparations. That insanity took over my life, understandably, so here it is now, but in the form of a headcanon, instead. I'm sorry, I know it's not my best effort, but I'm currently so exhausted that I fell asleep at 6pm last night and slept for 12 straight hours, so... 🥱🥱🥱

Please enjoy the unedited fluff and nonsense.

While at university, all three of the bat bros lived together while in appropriately different fields (Rhys studied an arts-law double major, Azriel studied software engineering with a minor in robotics, and Cassian studied secondary education with the goal of teaching PE and bio).

To celebrate the end of their year as JAFFYs, Cassian and Rhys bought a home brew kit and set it up in the dining room of their share house.

Azriel, who was a year ahead, just rolled his eyes and sighed. Rhys and Cassian could get chaotic.

After their final exams, the three of them made their first attempt at a basic ale. Reader, it was barely tolerable (and entirely messy), though their friends didn't much care; it was still free beer, and it "did the job."

Their second attempt was marginally better.

It wasn't until their third go round that they had something they would call both functional and enjoyable.

By the end of Azriel's third - and Rhys and Cassian's second - year, they had a solid ale and lager, and were almost there with a stout.

By the time Azriel was graduating, at the end of Rhys and Cassian's third year, it was so good that they were proud to serve it to their friends.

Rhys' girlfriend, one Feyre Archeron, a first year fine arts student who was the youngest sister of his law classmate, Nesta, had even designed a logo for the three of them. Thanks to their years on the high school football team, they called themselves the bats, and Feyre had grown up obsessed with the TV show Charmed, so... 🦇³ it was.

A decade passed them by, and they had all settled down, both into relationships and careers. Azriel worked in the tech industry, as did most who completed his degree, for a moderately sized company.

Feyre and Rhys had married young, followed by Azriel and the middle Archeron sister, Elain (a botanist) two years later. Azriel and Elain had met when Feyre brought Rhys (and Cass and Az) home for dinner with her sisters, who were attempting to mend bridges after their rough childhood. Nesta and Cassian then proceeded to drag out an almost decade-long battle of wits that had finally ended with a hook up at age 29. After that, they were as inseparable as their siblings, though not married. They joked that it would be another ten years before "any of that," or, to call it even, they'd probably marry by 40.

At approximately the seven year mark after graduation, Azriel, Cassian and Rhys were all getting a little frustrated with their careers, as they could feel themselves stagnating. By the ten year mark, they had decided to actually do something about it: turn the Bat Bros Brewery into a legitimate business.

Over the preceding years, they'd taken quite a few short courses in home brewing, not to mention they'd discovered that Elain, an avid cook, had an amazing palate for beers and cider in addition to food. Their brews were, in short, pretty damn good, so they began to run a stall at the local farmers' market on the weekends.

The first weekend all of their friends and families came out to support them - they highly suspected that Rhys' cousin, Mor, had a thing or two to do with that - and everyone had a blast. The second weekend was a bit of a let down, and they were worried about beginner's luck, but business picked up a bit in week three, and slowly but steadily continued to improve.

Not quite two years into this endeavour, the boys taking it in turns to run the stall each weekend, or sometimes running stalls at bigger festivals after they'd made a name for 🦇³, the co-owner of a local gastro pub got in contact with them and said that she and her sister would love to stock Bat Bros Beer on tap.

It took some time to ramp up production in their small, rented brewery space - and they tentatively began to look at larger facilities, just in case - but eventually, 🦇³ ale and lager were on tap at The Wolf and Shadow, with their stout and cider to both follow in autumn, if sales were as good as they hoped.

Nuala and her twin sister, Cerridwen, were so pleased with the popularity of the Bat Bros Beer that they could hardly wait for the new stock to arrive, and they began to negotiate for a Wolf and Shadow special brew.

By the end of that school year, Az, Cass and Rhys - along with Elain, Nesta and Feyre - realised that they could no longer treat BBB as a part time venture. With their families on top of two essentially full time jobs, it was too much, and something had to give; Cassian quit his job at the local high school, and Rhys and Az left their positions, too.

Their collective experiences weren't for nothing, though. Bat Bros Brewery boasted one hell of a website, to say the least.

As the school year ended, they found themselves moving into a much larger building that they fitted out with just enough equipment to get them started, and plenty of space left over to expand as they (hopefully) needed.

Everything progressed so well that, by the next December, other local pubs and restaurants were also clamouring to stock 🦇³ products.

The boys were very pleased that they didn't have to slink back to their old jobs with their proverbial tails between their legs.

Feyre, Elain and Nesta were glad that their partners were being professionally fulfilled once more.

By the ages of 38, 37 and 37, Azriel, Cassian and Rhys were happier than ever. In addition to their brewery, Azriel and Rhys had Elain and Feyre respectively, and a hoard of kids (or "batlets") between them. Nesta had proposed to Cassian on his 37th birthday, and they were "happily engaged."

You know those couples who get engaged and stay that way forever? Cassian and Nesta were beginning to appear that way until, one Autumn day, they invited their siblings, nieces and nephews to the park for a picnic.

Well, surprise, it was their wedding!

Nesta's good friend Gwyn was officiating, and Emerie, the other member of their inseperable trio, had returned early from her trip home to Illyria when Nesta had asked (because Nesta had never asked for anything like that before).

It was the most spectacular, Pinterest worthy autumnal wedding that anyone could have imagined. Elain was overjoyed that her spiced apple cider cake (made with 🦇³ apple cider, of course) was THE wedding cake; Feyre took the photos (and thank god she'd gone back for her tripod, after all).

At the end of the day, Nesta and Cassian handed out thank you cards that said the "three" of them were so glad everyone made it.

Feyre, the first to open hers, actually screamed. Mor followed suit no more than a second later, as Elain laughed her joy.

Azriel just raised his eyebrow at the commotion, at which point Elain gave him her card to read.

A giant smile bloomed on Az's face as he and Rhys tackled Cassian in a hug.

#modern au #acotar headcanon #modern au acotar #bat boys #bat bros #bat bros brewery #elriel #feysand #nessian #nuala and cerridwen #azriel week 2022 #i'm sorry this is late life has been crazy busy #wouldn't mind a beer myself #azriel appreciation week #azrielweek2022

[myhauntedsalem]

13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps

Death, illness and tragedy have long been part of the history of insane asylums, and for as long as they have existed, so too have the scary stories associated with them. From haunted hospitals to sadistic doctors and nurses, psychiatric wards have been the inspiration for many of our favorite horror movies and books. Yet, the true stories told by the psych ward workers below far surpass any horrors that we might have seen at the cinema or read in a book.

Without further ado, here are thirteen of some of the creepiest psych ward stories on the internet that have been shared by health care professionals.

1. Holding her own Eyes

My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I’ve ever heard.

This was during the night shift, and generally, all the patients’ bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.

When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.

The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.

My mom screamed for help and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.

2. The Saw

I work as a psychotherapist in a hospital system. My definition of creepy is probably quite a bit different from other medical professionals.

The one that got to me the most was a patient who came to us after attempting suicide by sawing both his arms off at the forearm with a table saw. His arms were reattached, fairly successfully too, with only limited impairments in mobility. All I could think was how bad it would have to be to live in his head that sawing his arms off seemed better than that.

He has since completed suicide.

3. Jane?

We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We’ll call her Jane. Jane’s first night at our facility staff doing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.

Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room she would run between walls in her room touching them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. This particular night Jane was frantic in her pace, practically running between walls. Our night staff observed the entire interaction and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When the staff went to check on Jane she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong and Jane replied, “what makes you think you are speaking to Jane?”

4. The Vampire

My mom worked in mental institutions in her younger years (and actually worked at a large, well-known asylum before it was shut down.)

There was one woman there that thought she was a vampire of sorts. She was only allowed out one hour a day, and they had to use safety precautions. She had already attacked and killed at least one hospital worker before these were enacted.

When my Mom asked about her, it was revealed that she had killed at least two of her children, wounded another as well as her husband because she had some sort of physical condition called Porphyria, which apparently made her crave blood.

By the time that they discovered there was something physically wrong with her, she already had lost her mind from guilt and grief.

5. The Spitter

I’m not a psychologist but my friend is. She told me about a patient of hers who was HIV positive and a paranoid schizophrenic. He thought that the nurses who worked at the hospital he was in were trying to kill him, so he would frequently bite his tongue, and spit HIV positive blood into their faces/mouths. When they had to come into contact with him, they were required to wear full masks and gloves.

6. The Only One

I once knew a woman who had spent part of her residency at a psychiatric hospital for people with severe mental conditions. Apparently, the grounds had a lovely, enclosed greenhouse. One day, one of their schizophrenic patients was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, as a heron frantically flew around. It had found its way in and, not being able to escape, it was smashing into the large panes of glass. The man just sat there watching.

Finally, my counselor asked him if the bird was bothering him and he kind of sighed and said, “Thank god, I thought I was the only one seeing that.”

7. Family Photographs

My sister is the director of a psychiatric hospital. There was recently a lady there who would cut her arms, legs and torso open and place photographs of her family under her skin.

8. Under the Bed

Once, a fellow female patient told me she found writings under her bed. They were just old, small wooden bed frames with hard mattresses that would make all kinds of noises when you rolled over, but I still wondered what exactly she was doing lying under her bed to find these writings.

When she first told me, I thought it was a joke. But sure enough, one day during group we managed to sneak away, and she showed me. Indeed, there were stories written under her bed. After that, we had everyone check under their own beds, and there was more writing under every single bed.

They were stories of patients who had stayed here before, or ways they were planning on killing themselves, or who the good and bad nurses were. It creeped me out.

9. Time of Death

Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar “checklist” that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way.

They would get caught talking to someone that wasn’t there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, “Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00.” Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.

10. The Test Subject

I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody – often the CIA – is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.

“It’s precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects,” he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?

“You can see I’m not irrational,” the man said. “I’m just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am.”

11. The Boy who Loved Knives

As a tech in psych years ago, there was a 7-year-old kid sent to the floor because the mom didn’t know what to do with him. Sadly, common thing to happen, even if the kids don’t have psych issues. Anyway, the mom was shaking and crying, and they had to take the kid into another room. She was genuinely afraid of her own son. She had suspected something was wrong when she kept finding mutilated animals in the backyard, but never heard or saw coyotes or anything around. The neighbors smaller pets started disappearing. The boy had an obsession with knives, hiding them around the house. Denying anything when the mom confronted him. Then when the two started getting into arguments, he would get really violent and hit her, push her down and kick her, threaten to kill her. On multiple occasions she woke up in the middle of the night with him standing beside her bed, staring her in the face. She put extra locks on her bedroom door to feel safe while she slept. The last straw was when she lifted up his mattress and found 50+ knives of all shapes and sizes under there. So she brought him to us.

I remember talking to him, treating him like he was just any other kid that came through. He seemed remarkably normal, until you spoke directly to him. He had this way of looking right through you, or maybe like he didn’t see you at all while you were speaking.

He would respond like a robot, like he was just saying words because that’s what we wanted to hear. And he would always put on this creepy, dead-looking smile. Like all mouth and no eye involvement in the smile. Especially when he would get away with something, like taking another kid’s markers and they couldn’t figure it out. Still gives me chills laying here thinking about him.

I believe I met a 7-year-old psychopath.

12. The New Mom

I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients’ medications, and being a 5’2″ girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.

His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me “Miss Jones” or “ma’am.”

One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.

This escalated to the point of him calling her “Mom” and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn’t be his mom because that would hurt his real mother’s feelings, and that she already had that job covered.

So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.

13. Bugs

Nothing I can say can possibly describe the year I worked in Psychiatric Intensive Care. Creepy isn’t the thing that comes to mind when I think back on it…more heartbreaking and horrifying. But creepiness was a part of it. Especially evening and night shifts, naturally.

There is always something disturbing about watching someone while they hallucinate. You can tell it is 100% real to them, and something about that makes you believe it, on some level. A lot of stories end with, “and of course, I had to look over my shoulder to make sure”. You see the emotions it brings out.

There was a woman that came in and sat down across the table from me for her admission interview. She had bandages all over her arms and scotch tape over her mouth and ears. She looked very uncomfortable and wouldn’t really sit still. When the nurse would ask her a question, she would peel the corner of the tape back and answer, then stick the tape back on really fast.

We eventually found out that she saw and felt bugs crawling all over her, and they were trying to get inside her body. The tape was to keep the bugs out. The bandages were because some bugs got in and she had to dig them out. She couldn’t sit still because she felt the bugs all over her even while we sat and talked. The worst part was, she had some idea that it was her mind playing tricks on her. Can you imagine going through your life, feeling like someone is continuously dumping buckets of cockroaches on your head, feeling like they’re all over you and getting inside of you to the point that you’re digging chunks out of your flesh in a panic, all while knowing intellectually that none of it is real?

#13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps #shared stories #paranormal #ghost and spirits #ghost and hauntings #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

#anonymous #replied #💫

[mark-archambault]

There’s Something I Want to Show You

Every day for three years, I drank. I drank at least a six pack a day. I drank on Christmas. I drank on my birthday. I drank on your birthday. I drank on EVERYBODY’S birthday. It was the one thing I could consistently plan for and execute. Most days I just did it without thinking. Some days were worse than others.

“God please, keep me from drinking today. God save me.” I knew it was a problem. I knew it was killing me. Alcohol was killing my future and my present. But knowing and acting on information are two very different things. I had an image in my head of a celestial hand, reaching down from the heavens in time to stop the bottle or can before it reached my lips. Surely God would save me? Isn’t that what God does? Jesus saves, right? I had heard that for years.

In the summer of 1992, my life caved in. My wife and I separated. My band broke up over alcoholic antics. My parents owned the company I worked for or I would not have continued to have a job. I was deeply depressed. My days consisted of work, drinking and sleep. It was more like passing out than real sleep. “God, where are You in all this?”

I stopped going to our apartment after work. I owned a small recording studio that the band rehearsed in. On most nights, I preferred to drink and pass out there.

It was a simple layout with three rooms. There was an entry, a tracking room for the musicians to perform in and a control room for the mixing board, gadgets and audio gizmos. The building had been an auto garage and gas station with concrete block walls. The design was funky art deco 1920s. It was cold in the winter and sticky warm in the summer. For all it was and was not, it reminded me less of failure than the other places I could be. That was the important thing.

This was the first week of July. The small window mounted AC did little to stop the sweat from running down my arms as I came into the tracking room. I plopped myself down on the floor with a cold twelve pack of Bud. I had learned to sit on the floor while drinking as this leaves less chance of falling down and hurting yourself. I needed to not think and this was the only way I could come up with to achieve my goal.

As usual, I sat on the floor in silence. First one beer, then another, playing alcoholic math games. If one twelve ounce can makes me feel like this, than how many ounces will it take to feel this other way? I explored numbers based on six, twelve, and twenty-four while I drank. Twelve ounces, a six pack, twelve pack, sixty minutes in an hour, etc. I timed out the ounces to attain and hold the perfect beer buzz till the correct time to sleep. Too much and I slept poorly; too little and the feeling would pass and the headaches would come back.

The headaches were a problem. How could I predict an accurate number of ounces per hour and still factor in the pain? In the last few months a stabbing pain would slash across my temples after the first few ounces of alcohol. It blurred my vision and caused me to double over, head in hands. At the twenty-four ounce mark, the pain eased and I became numb to it. It had caused me some concern, but I soon discovered that the best strategy was to slam the first two cans so as to get beyond the inconvenience faster. I was still working on calculating the proper balance of ounces after this increase up front. I had patience. When you do something every day, you have the time to experiment until you get it just right.

I have always been fascinated by the sound of my location. Every place has an ambient noise. Air vents blow, lights buzz, insects, birds, sirens, cars… The whole world is an ever changing symphony of auditory delight. Walking from one room to the next or from outdoors to inside, changes the soundscape. Whether you notice it or not, life makes noise. My little studio had an audio life of its own and I was very familiar with it.

The room I was in had florescent lights above me. The current slamming from one end of the tube to the other creates a static zzzzz that puts my teeth on edge. The refrigerator in the entryway pumps out a steady hum. Sound bounces off concrete floors, against plaster walls and is sucked into cloth and foam panels on the ceiling and walls. I had designed this room and I, like any creator, knew how it worked.

After the correct number of ounces per hour for a long night had passed, I became aware of silence, true silence. I had never experienced a complete absence of sound before this. I looked up from my floor to see what had changed and there was Jesus.

He had the form of a man, this was not a ghost. Jesus had light brown, shoulder length, curly hair. Tan, loose fitting trousers were topped with a cream colored Dashiki shirt. The opening around His neck had a pattern of pomegranates and the Star of David.

Jesus stood perfectly still. His eyes looked straight into mine. “There’s something I want to show you.” He said. His voice was calm and clear. A cloud of swirling smoke appeared to His left. Blue black wisps turned spirals of slow movement from top to bottom, turning on itself and returning to its start. The cloud was over a foot wide and several feet high, about the size of a man. Even with Jesus in the room, I could not take my eyes off the smoke. There was something familiar about it. I had seen it before, but could not place it. The sight of it made me tremble inside and sick to my stomach.

The rest of the evening is blank. I have tried, over the years, to recall anything after that, but only remember waking up the next morning. “Wow Mark, you have GOT to get a handle on this drinking thing.” was my only thought as my busy day kicked off. By works end, it was forgotten.

I stopped by the Mini Mart to get a fresh twelve pack on my way back to the studio. There was probably beer left over from the night before, but that could stay in the refrigerator as spare for another day. Fresh is better and one can’t have too much beer. I was alright as long as I was at work, because that gave me things to think about outside of myself. On the job there are pressures and deadlines that do not allow wallowing in self-pity. Now I was once again alone with my thoughts. I had my problems and my answer. I sat on the floor of my well lit room, slammed the first two beers and began the ounce counting. Many, many ounces later the volume dropped out of the room.

The events of the night before came rushing back to my brain as soon as the silence began. Looking up, I saw Jesus. This time I skipped straight to fear and trembling. “There is something I want to show you.” He said in a strong voice. He did not sound angry or sad. The words were important and resonating through my being. That same smoke was already twisting beside him. I closed my eyes.

I closed my eyes as tight as I could manage. Curled into a ball on the concrete floor, I forced myself to think of nothing. I lay there humming to make the voice go away. He had only spoken once, but I was afraid of what else Jesus might say. My muscles ached from contracting as I lay there for what seemed like hours. Eventually I passed into asleep.

“That’s it Mark, you’ve drank yourself insane. You have lost your fucking mind. Good job dumbass!” The next day was surreal. I was afraid, disoriented and a mess. Every shadow was a possible monster as I looked for some meaning to this invasion of my space. What would become of me if I couldn’t even go to sleep at night without seeing deities? Maybe if I slammed the first THREE beers. Maybe 32 ounces would work better? Maybe 48? Maybe…

If you are going to do something right, you need to be dedicated. I was dedicated to the fact that getting drunk made the pain and confusion of life go away. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, that was the belief I was holding on to. I checked around every corner of the studio as I walked in carrying my twelve pack. It was just after 8pm. Nothing jumped out to get me by the time I reached my spot on the tracking room floor, so I relaxed a little.

I watched the cold puff of air and heard the pop of the can lid as I opened my first 12 ounces. I didn’t lift the can off the floor. I did not take a drink. I waited, listening to the sounds of the room. Zzzzzzzzzz, Hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And then there was no sound. The last thing I wanted to do was look up. I stared at the can as sweat beads rolled down the aluminum. The silence didn’t go away. If I had waited a hundred years, the silence would wait with me. I knew Jesus was in the room with me, yet He said nothing. He waited for me. The ugly, smoke filled cloud was there again. The first century Messiah was looking at me. I knew He was waiting for me to say or do something. I looked into the eyes of Jesus and said “Lord, what is that thing?”

“That’s your soul.” He replied. “That’s your soul.” Like an atomic bomb to the brain, my world fractured into a thousand million pieces.

I gasped for air, but it wouldn’t come. I struggled onto all fours, my face to the floor. After what seemed like minutes my chest heaved full of oxygen. And then the tears came. Snot flew from my nostrils. My eyes burned. I fell back onto the concrete and wailed. That horrible, frightening thing was me. I did not, could not, look back up. I didn’t want to see or know. Is this truth? I didn’t need to ask the question out loud; I already knew the answer.

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Hey, so I really like your work so I have a request 👀 maybe you could write Luke and reader being best friends but both having deeper feelings, they're roommates but they fight over Luke's gf bc he says that she needs to move out bc his girlfriend wants to move in and she doesn't like reader so she ends up leaving and running with Crystal but she asks to not tell anyone (except Mike for obvious reasons) that she's there and Luke is really worried but he and reader end up together, pretty please

I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! Sorry if I didn’t do it justice, but I hope you like it!

Also I’m so sorry that the layout went weird! I posted it from my computer and now it looks odd on the phone!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Love? Love. - L. Hemmings

"If she gets those fake blonde extensions wrapped around my straightener one more time, Lucas, I will rip them out myself."

He simply sighed, focusing more of his attention on his phone rather than his best friend.

Y/N and Luke has been best friends since they were 17. They kindled their friendship on the very last day of year 12, such as she did with Calum and Michael.

Since that day, as they sat in the barren English Room and discussed everything and anything that came to mind, her and Luke had been inseparable.

She was the Bucky to his Steve, the Yang to his Yin, the regular sized human to his giant stature.

Well, until Suzanna stepped into the picture.

She is 5"7, coated in fake tan that was applied by somebody with the vision of Stevie Wonder and fake blonde extensions that accentuate how beautiful she would be, if she toned down the Geordie Shore look.

Y/N couldn't help but wonder if her personality would be able to shine brightly through the thick foundation, if she had one, that is.

"Thank you for pretending to listen to me, I appreciate it so much," she rolled her eyes.

For the past few weeks the air in the house had been incredibly tense.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice hesitant. "Can I talk to you about something?"

She couldn't stop her eyes from lighting up. This was the calmest her and luke had been with each other in almost a week, and she would take any chance to talk to him in a civilized manner.

To be honest, the idea of talking to him did nothing to quell the overflowing feelings she had for the man.

"Is that even a question? You can always talk to me, Lu," she sat opposite to him on the lounge, pulling her legs up underneath her.

He was nervous. That was obvious in the way he raked his fingers through his blonde curls. Suzanna constantly hounded at him to cut his hair but Y/N knew how much he loved his hair.

She couldn't deny that she adored the ringlets that decorated his soft locks.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a little bit," he rung his hands together, spinning rings on his fingers. "I, um, I'm gonna need you to move out."

He mumbled the last few words, sighing softly when she asked him to repeat it. It's safe to say, she was at a loss of words.

"You - you want me to move out? Why?" Her eyebrow was cocked, and she tilted her head to the side slightly.

Luke couldn't help but admire how much she resembled a puppy dog. He always found her to be a mix of adorable and purely beautiful. Which is part of the reason he forced himself to say yes when Suzanna asked to take a larger step in their relationship.

He had spent so much time fighting his feelings for Y/N. Suzanna helped, but he still needed to force himself to deny his feelings in favour of the smaller ones he had for his girlfriend.

He was cruel, he knew it.

"Suzanna and I were talking, and we’re ready to move in together. And she couldn't move in here because of-"

"Because of what? Because I can't stand the woman that has cheated on you multiple times?" Y/N was angry, that much she knew. She couldn't believe the audacity. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Well I would love nothing more than for my girlfriend and my best friend to get along but you make it so difficult for Suzanna to get to know you," he snapped pinching the bridge of his nose between his long fingers.

"I gave her a chance before she slept with one of your mates, Luke. As far as I'm concerned, you should have gotten rid of her months ago when she did it a second time."

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" His eyes were narrowed and the blue orbs held the same lack of patience she had seen a lot over the past week.

She opened her mouth to retort but couldn't find the words to say. Truthfully, she was shattered when Luke told her about his relationship, but she decided to be the bigger person and let go of the idea that Luke could be hers. Their friendship has lasted too long for that to be a possibility.

Luke's comment set her off.

"Oh so I am meant to happy for you, with the Geordie Barbie who fucks another guy regularly, but you couldn't be happy for me with Daniel?"

"Daniel was an asshole!"

"And so is Suzanna!"

They were both on their feet now, staring each other down with a ferocity they hadn't seen since an argument in their teenage years.

Sure, Daniel was a bit of an asshole, but Luke knew he was in the wrong for hating the man so fiercely. The moment he had finally worked up the nerve to ask Y/N on a date - a real date - Daniel swept in and the two were together for almost a year until he started getting more controlling.

The last straw was when Daniel flipped because of the close relationship Y/N and Luke shared and Luke threw a punch at him.

"You're jealous," Luke scoffed, his blue eyes aimed anywhere but at her for he knew his anger was unwarranted but he couldn't bare to face the truth about his relationship.

"Excuse me?" She cocked a brow again and he had to glance away quickly as his eyes fell on her for a second.

"You are jealous that I can keep somebody around and you haven't been able to keep anybody around for almost a year." His brows were pinched tight together and he squared his shoulders.

It was easy for Y/N to notice the slight hunch in his posture, a symbol that he was immediately guilt stricken by his words.

"Oh, I'm so sorry that I can't settle for somebody who doesn't deserve me," she barked out a sarcastic laugh, slamming her hand on the bench to grab her keys.

Luke opened his mouth to retort, but she fixed him with a glare so angry that he physically recoiled.

She slipped her vans on at the door, grabbing her bag off of the hook where she organized all of her daily belongings. She was meticulous and Luke had always admired how neat she was compared to his disorganized chaos.

"You wanted me gone? I'm going. Don't bother contacting me til you wake up to yourself," she stomped towards the door, pausing as she pulled the wood open. "I'll have my stuff gone by the end of the week. Tell Barbie to keep my straightener. God knows she fucked it anyways."

The door slammed behind her and the entire house instantly felt as if the warmth was gone.

She went straight to Crystal's house. The woman was packing for the impending move to a new house; one which her and Michael would share.

"So he wants you to move out so that thing can move in?" Her voice was laced with disgust.

All of them despise Suzanna. The woman had hurt Luke more times than they could count, she blatantly ignores or insults both Y/N and Crystal for fear of any sort of threat in her relationship, yet she regularly cheats on him.

Go figure.

Y/N made a noise of agreement around her glass of wine. The minute she had stepped in the door Crystal had phoned Micheal and ordered a Girls Night, to which Y/N profusely demanded that she would make it up to the couple whose date night she disturbed.

"He better hope I don't get my hands on him, Y/N."

"It's not worth it Crys," she sighed, swirling the contents of her glass in a circle. "I've been basically invisible in that house since the Barbie started coming around."

Crystal pulled the girl into a hug. Not many knew of her hidden feelings for Luke, but Crystal figured it out after a week of knowing the pair.

"I'll cut her extensions and glue them to Luke's eyebrows."

<><><><><><>

Exactly a month had passed. Y/N had ordered Crystal and Michael to not speak a word of where she was because she didn't want to see Luke. Instead, she found a small apartment to live in, while she gathered her wits to find a better place.

She knew it was petty, but she didn't have the care to feel guilty.

Luke on the other hand, was going insane and harbored so much regret surrounding his decision that he couldn't bare to think straight.

Moving in with Suzanna did nothing to make the home feel less empty. Y/N had made sure to collect the rest of her things while Luke was out.

She knew his schedule inside and out and used it to her advantage.

Luke wanted nothing more than to see her face. To hear her voice. The time apart made him realize just how deep his feelings went. The same feelings he had spent many years attempting to bury.

Now his only fear was that he would never get the chance to tell the woman how much he needs her in his life.

That, and how he would manage to get rid of the woman who he had caught sneaking out of their house at all hours of the night.

He didn't know what to expect when he entered his house to hear pornographic moans echoing from the bedroom.

He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He didn't even feel betrayed.

In fact, he couldn't contain his laughter. After all, catching her in the act of cheating on him simply opened the window for him to break up with her without the guilt.

He simply walked towards their bedroom door, which was ajar, and entered with no hesitation.

He was met with the sight of a bare assed male and a moaning Suzanna.

"I'm breaking up with you," he had a wide smile on his face, already planning his next actions with severe determination. He pulled his long curls into a small bun at the back of his head, “Please get out by tomorrow?"

He didn't leave room for her to argue, instead choosing to snatch his keys off of the bench and exit the house while Suzanna called him from behind.

The minute his backside hit the seat of his Jeep, he had the key turned in the ignition and he was dialing Crystal's phone number.

If anybody knew how to get in contact with Y/N, it would be the woman she had the closest bond to.

"What do you want, Luke?"

"Is Y/N at your house?" He asked quickly.

He was met with silence for a moment. He knew that Crystal knew where she was, but he also knew Crystal would most likely be reluctant.

"Why should I tell you? Want to go kick her out of her own house again?" He heard the malice in her voice.

It was obvious that after a month the pain would still linger. He deserved to be spoken to in such a way.

He knew he had a lot to make up for.

A deep sigh sounded through the receiver, and Crystal took another moment to reply.

"She is going to kill me for this, but I swear, you better be taking your breadstick ass over to apologise or I will kill you myself," she recited the address for an apartment not far from where Crystal and Michael now lived, and hung the phone up without another word.

He arrived at the apartment block soon after, and rushed up the stairs - not having the patience to wait for the elevator.

Number 304 shone brightly in his vision, and his heart tugged at the thought of seeing Y/N again.

He knocked with such urgency that caused the girl inside to jump out of her seat.

The door swung open and before she could close it in his face a converse covered foot was wedged between the door and the frame.

He cringed at the pain but refused to move it.

"What do you want?" Her voice was hard, and his stomach lurched at the sound. Even if she was mad, she still sounded more melodic that he ever could.

He chose to jump straight to the point, not wanting to leave room for her to reject him before he could confess.

"I have been in love with you since a few months after we met. I realised it when we were at your house, and you were doting over your baby cousin," His eyes were basically smiling, as he retrieved the fond memory. "Since that moment, I have done my best to push down how I feel about you, but I am sick of hiding it. I just broke up with Suzanna. I walked in on her with another guy, but I can't do this without you. I can't go back to that house for another minute without you there."

She was at a loss for words. He spoke so fast that it took a moment to piece his sentences together, and when she did, she couldn't help the confused look that coated her features.

"You- what?"

"I broke up with Suzanna," he had a wide smile on his face that she couldn't comprehend.

"Finally?"

"Yes. And, I have been in love with you since we were 18."

"Are you sure?" She cocked her head again.

The action made his stomach erupt in butterflies. He truly adored how she could look so cute through a simple gesture.

Y/N was genuinely confused. She knew how she felt about Luke. The month apart from him hadn't done anything to stop those feelings.

She truly had feelings stronger for him than she had for any of her past relationships. If she were to think about it, she would even say that she loved him.

"How could I not be sure?" He pinched his brows together in confusion. He grabbed both of her hands in his, leading her into the house and to the lounge where they both slumped down.

She stammered, "Where did this even come from? How?-"

He moved his hands to the side of her face, framing her confused expression.

She didn't know how to feel. For so long, Y/N had longed for Luke to notice her in such a way, and now that he is admitting that he has felt the same way about her that she had about him for so long, she was truly at a loss of words.

His eyes were full of pent up emotion. He didn't necessarily look sad, but he looked the most apologetic she had ever seen him, and she had been there through many emotions with the man,"Y/N, I'm sorry. Not just for what happened last month, but for everything I have done. I'm sorry I couldn't work up the courage to confess to you so many years ago, I'm sorry I let my jealousy ruin your relationship with Daniel, I am sorry I wasted time with other girls just to try and deny how much I truly adore you, and I am sorry that I ever thought I would be happy choosing anybody over you. I can't stand to live without you, and even if you have zero feelings for me in the same way I feel for you, would you please come back-"

She pulled his hands from her face and put her own on his before crushing her lips against his in an urgent moment of passion.

The contact was full of so much emotion, and it was the most loving kiss she had experienced from any of those who she had kissed.

It was intimate, but not rushed. Simply lips against lips; no pushing to move it deeper.

They pulled back after an unknown time, and she bumped her nose against his.

"I can't tell you how long I have wanted to do that for," she told him, feeling most of her anger melt away along with her confusion.

Instead, they both felt a love that they hadn't felt before.

"Come back, please?" He was ready to beg. Hell, he was ready to not go back to that house until she was ready to go with him.

"My name's still on the lease, you can bet your thick ass I'm coming back. But if I see one blonde hair extension, I will go on the warpath," she smirked at him, staring at his plump lips.

"I'll make sure it's spotless for your return," Luke beamed at her, feeling his nerves both escape his body and ignite at her touch.

"Good. Now get back over here and kiss me some more."

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #crystal leigh #michael clifford #calum hood #Ashton irwin

[sammisafetypin]

O1/WB Timeline Analysis

hi !! so I was curious about time stuff going on in outlast 1 and whistleblower , because lets be real , its .. not Terribly consistent and trying to write anything regarding th canon of o1 and wb is a nightmare because of it . so I was thinking about it , ended up googling how long a drive from DC to Colorado is , and from there ended up starting to analyze stuff like sky lighting , and I think I ended up with a pretty good idea of what rough times things start and end ! I was mostly curious about how long it takes for th riots to start , how long Waylon is in engine therapy* , and how long both Waylon and Miles spend in th asylum , and I think I came up with decent answers ! 

I wrote it all on a google doc originally , but i don’t know if tumblr still does that stupid thing where it won’t let posts with links show up in tags or not , so i’m just gonna copy-paste everything i wrote under th readmore 

rlly sorry if dere’z any inconsistenciez , i tried my best to make sure everything made sense and i THINK it does ? you can also scroll past th indented lists of me listing times by hour , i used em cuz i cant count * for th sake of simplicity i use ‘engine therapy’ to refer to what happens to waylon where he has to watch th engine but isnt put into th full thing

NOTE: this sort of jumps around because 1. I’m autistic and just sort of ramble out disjointedly like this and 2. I wrote it rather late at night . I tried to clean it up and write down stuff that pulls things together more coherently , but still .

—

We have very little point of reference for how long waylon went through engine therapy for before the riots , but we know that a drive from DC to Colorado is about 27 hours without stopping .

Waylon’s email was sent on Sept. 17, 2013 . there is no physical way that Miles could’ve showed up on the same day , and we know that the Mount Massive Incident took place on the 18th . Waylon writes his email and sends it approximately 2 hrs before the opening cinematic . we have no point of reference for what time it is — the computers in the start have no time displays that I can find , and we can’t see outside . We’ll get back around to that though — if we can figure out when Miles showed up and how long he took to show up , we can find out the email time .

Oh yeah , we’re hyper-analyzing . in Outlast 1 , when Miles arrives , it appears to be late sunset , probably civil or nautical  twilight . It’s storming but the horizon is visible , and the sun is far enough down that most of the sky is dark except for the west horizon . The differences of twilights are difficult to tell , especially because of the storm , but it looks like civil or nautical twilight . Sunset starts at 7:08 PM and nautical twilight ends at 8:06 PM on this exact day around Mount Massive . Visibility might be altered based on elevation , but 1. I don’t know how to account for that , and 2. I put Leadville into the website as well and received the same times beyond a one minute earlier difference for civil twilight , which is probably a result of just distance anyways . And , it’s most likely the asylum is built near ground level , because it’s unlikely that an insane asylum would be built on a high mountain cliff . All in all , for simplicity purposes we can say Miles showed up at around 7:30 PM on the 18th .

If we turn back the clock exactly 27 hours , that puts us at 

6 pm - 1 5 pm - 2 4 pm - 3 3 pm - 4 2 pm - 5 1 pm - 6 12 pm - 7 11 am - 8 10 am - 9  9 am - 10 8 am - 11 7 am - 12 6 am - 13 5 am - 14 4 am - 15 3 am - 16  2 am - 17  1 am - 18  12 am - 19  11 pm (sept 17th) - 20 10 pm - 21  9 pm - 22 8 pm - 23  7 pm - 24 6 pm - 25 5 pm - 26  4 pm - 27

4 PM on the 17th! if Miles literally drove for 27 hours straight , in perfect traffic without stopping once , and left immediately after receiving Waylon’s email , the email would’ve been sent about 4:30 PM on the 17th . but Miles is obviously very alert when he shows up , and probably not dumb enough to try to drive 27 hours without eating or sleeping . as a reporter , though , he’s probably also used to driving long distances . let’s give the benefit of perfect traffic and that he left immediately , and say that in total stopping for food , bathrooms , fuel , etc. added up to 2 hours . let’s say he split the drive into two sessions , perhaps a 16 hour and a shorter 11 hour , it doesn’t really matter , and slept 7 hours between them .

3 pm - 1 2 pm - 2 1 pm - 3  12 pm - 4  11 am - 5  10 am - 6  9 am - 7  8 am - 8  7 am - 9 

Being as time-conservative as possible , Waylon sent the email at ~7 AM on the 17th , and was first exposed to engine therapy at ~9 AM . Miles arrives the next day , at ~7 PM , about 36 hours after the email is first sent .

We also know when Waylon is given engine therapy in the opening cinematic that it’s mentioned that Billy made a lateral ascension , and that that’s a problem . It’s most likely this lateral ascension led directly into the Walrider breaking free under Billy’s control and initiating the riots . 

We don’t know how long Miles spends at Mt. Massive , but we know that Waylon sees the burning church not long after Eddie’s death , and very soon after hears an announcement about an “unknown assailant” in the underground lab , Miles . Let’s assume that after the ‘12 hours later’ time marker , the remaining events of the vocational block take up about 2 hours , accounting for Waylon slipping in and out of consciousness a few more times . It’s sunup on the 19th when Waylon escapes the vocational block / when Miles kills Billy and is possessed , we see that from both perspectives (the windows in the admin block and the loading bay in the sub lab) and the sun rises at 6:51 AM . back with it again at the 7:30s , Miles probably dies around 7:30 - 8 AM on the 19th . This allows for the time between Miles seeing the loading bay and the last events of the game after that . That means he spent 12 hours in Mt Massive . That means that he arrived 2 hours into Waylon’s unconscious period , and went through the asylum almost entirely during that time .

So with that , we can start turning back time . That means that it’s 7:30 PM 2 hours into Waylon being unconscious in the vocational block , so he was knocked out around 5:30 PM . This doesn’t line up very well with us seeing it appearing to be dark in earlier outside areas , but please understand that it’s nearly impossible to make this completely accurate . I think we can use the heavy fog as a partial excuse , and the strange greenish-yellow tint the sky has that I think is partially just a weird overlay Outlast always has , but partially might be a deeply cloudy and foggy daytime sky . It’s flimsy , but the sky definitely doesn’t look that dark when you get a look at it .

Waylon sends the email at 7:30 AM of the 17th , consequently is probably committed around 8 , and receives engine therapy at 9:30 . Billy also makes his lateral ascension at this time . Waylon escapes not long after Miles does , roughly 7:30 AM - 8 of the 19th . That means Waylon’s entire experience , from email to escape , is 48 hours , give or take (he leaves after Miles’s death so a bit more) . A lot spent unconscious , but still . So 14 of those hours are unconsciousness onwards . 2 hours are the time between the email and engine therapy. That gives us a whopping 32 more hours to kill . I don’t think that all of what Waylon goes through , from picking up his camcorder to being drugged in the vocational block , takes 32 hours . It’s really hard to gauge because we’re trying to compare video game time to real time , but Miles has some unconscious time as well and his entire experience is 12 hours . if Outlast 1 , counting however long Miles was out after Martin got him , is 12 hours , I don’t think 70% of Whistleblower is thirty-two .

There’s not a lot of time to use as reference anymore , this is the point where we’re just kinda forced to eyeball it .

Let’s review to make sure everything makes coherent sense .

We know that Miles arrived at 7:30PM the 18th because we know the Mount Massive Incident is on the 18th, and because of the sky. We know he died around 7:30 AM the 19th because of the sky. And because we see sunup as Waylon as well, and hear the unknown assailant message, we know these 12 hours took place while Waylon was unconscious + during his time getting out of the vocational block . We know the email was sent the 17th because it’s time stamped . And we know that being as time conservative as possible , with a 27 hour straight drive + time for basic necessities , Miles probably took 36 hours to arrive , putting Waylon’s email at 7:30 AM on the 17th . Canon tells us Waylon is put into engine therapy 2 hours later .

17th, 7:30 AM - Waylon sends the email 

17th, 9:30 AM - Waylon is put into engine therapy 

??????? - Time Gap - ???????

18th, 5:30 PM - Waylon is drugged in the vocational block 

18th, 7:30 PM - Miles arrives

19th, 5:30 AM - The 12 hour time jump 

19th, 7:30 AM - Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles is possessed, Miles dies. Waylon escapes soon after, closer to 8

9:30 AM  10:30 AM - 1 11:30 AM - 2 12:30 PM - 3 1:30 PM - 4 2:30 PM - 5 3:30 PM - 6 4:30 PM - 7 5:30 PM - 8 6:30 PM - 9 7:30 PM - 10 8:30 PM - 11 9:30 PM - 12 10:30 PM - 13  11:30 PM - 14 12:30 AM (18th) - 15 1:30 AM - 16 2:30 AM - 17 3:30 AM - 18 4:30 AM - 19 5:30 AM - 20 6:30 AM - 21 7:30 AM - 22  8:30 AM - 23  9:30 AM - 24 10:30 AM - 25 11:30 AM - 26 12:30 PM - 27 1:30 PM - 28 2:30 PM - 29 3:30 PM - 30 4:30 PM - 31 5:30 PM - 32

We’re left with a major time gap, 32 hours. This starts with Waylon being put into engine therapy and ends with him passing out in the vocational block. Being generous, and considering that characters like Martin needed time to set up their shenanigans, I’ll say that the time from Waylon picking up his camcorder to the V.B. locker takes 6 hours. It seems reasonable, especially if he spends a lot of time hiding from characters like Frank. That means that the Walrider attacks began and riots started at this time too— 11:30 AM of the 18th. Maybe a little earlier and it just took a bit to reach the hospital, but we don’t have means to prove that, and the Walrider clearly works fast. That leaves us with 26 hours , almost a full day , left unchecked . 

Billy makes a lateral ascension during Waylon’s first engine therapy session , which is implied to be what leads to the Walrider’s actions , but we have no idea how long it takes for him to completely break through and for the Walrider to start slaughtering . It’s possible many hours were dedicated to trying to calm him back down , and inevitably , it failed . It’s also possible that they got him back under control but once he hit one lateral ascension he was able to do it again , this time with much more anger . This is the only thing that fits into the timeline because of Miles’s driving time— if the riots started right after we first see Waylon in energy therapy in the opening cinematic, there would not be enough time for Miles to arrive when he does .

The time between Waylon first being put into engine therapy and the game actually starting is 26 hours . If the patients are allowed 8 hours rest and a half-hour per meal, which is really being generous to how Mount Massive treats its patients, 9 ½ hours go to that. Waylon spends about 16 ½ hours doing a combination of being half-conscious in a cell, getting his brain poked at, and going through engine therapy .

All in All: 

Sept. 17th, 7:30 AM: Waylon sends the email 

[2 hrs]

Sept 17th, 9:30 AM: Waylon is subjected to engine therapy, Billy makes his first lateral ascension.

[26 hrs] 

Sept 18th, 11:30 AM: The riots begin, Waylon is in engine therapy during this time. He is released from his chair and gets his camcorder, starting his escape mission.

[6 hrs]

Sept 18th, 5:30 PM: Waylon is knocked unconscious in a locker in the vocational block, and remains unconscious for 12 hours. 

[2 hrs]

Sept 18th, 7:30 PM: Miles arrives at Mount Massive Asylum.

[10 hrs]

Sept 19th, 5:30 AM: Waylon wakes up for the first time and witnesses Eddie’s murders.

[2 hrs] 

Sept 19th, 7:30 AM: Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles kills Billy and is possessed. Miles is killed, Waylon escapes the asylum.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #miles upshur #waylon park #timeline #long post #just in case th readmore failz for some reason #thank you i put way too much effort into dis i hope yall liek it <3

[xplrsquad7137]

How I Met Your Mother-

Colby Brock × Reader

Chapter Eleven is here...

Chapter Twelve: Room 333

**disclaimer** in this story, Y/n goes with them to the Langham hotel, the one that they filmed for their channels.

Word Count 1,653

Warnings: light angst and cussing

_____________________________________

Sam and I have been planning this trip for a long time. We have been wanting to go to this haunted hotel for what feels like forever! I want to take Y/n along with us because she has never been to anything actually haunted before. She has been to events for Halloween before but this is different, it is actually real. 

"Baby, do you want to come on this trip with us?"

Y/n "I'm down, where is it?" I told her where the hotel was and how far away it is from Los Angeles. "Yeah! What time do we leave?"

"In a couple of hours, it is still pretty early so we can stay in bed for a bit if you want."

Y/n "mmm yes please." She climbs back on top of my body and falls back asleep for another hour.

___________________________________

It is now 12:23 p.m and we are all eating before we hit the road. 

Corey "Are you excited?"

Y/n "Hell yeah I am!"

Jake "You're not at all scared?"

Y/n "Not really. I mean I'm sure it'll be scary if shit happens but if nothing happens then what's so scary about staying in an old hotel?"

Sam "She is your soulmate, Colby."

I blush and start laughing, "I know this! She is like me but a female!"

Y/n "It's the best, isn't it?!"

"It's pretty cool, baby girl." 

Sam "Well this place seems legit. Everything that I have read about it is all haunting stories. Shit flying off of the walls and dressers. Blankets moving off of guests while they sleep...it's insane."

Y/n "great….not at all scared now, thanks Sammy."

Sam "Hey, don't shoot the messenger!"

"Don't worry baby, I'll keep you safe." She leans into me so that I can kiss her forehead. This is going to be so much fun having my girl tag along with us!

….

I drove my red Corolla while Sam sat passenger, Y/n sat in the middle between Jake and Corey. The drive was three hours long, straight shot. Once we got to the hotel, we got all of our cameras and the rest of our belongings and headed to the front desk. 

Corey "This place just screams haunted..jesus!"

Jake "Really Corey? Already? We just got here."

Corey "Sorry Jake...I can't help that this place just screams demonic!"

I grab Y/n's hand and start laughing at Corey's crazy response. Even though he was being dead serious, it was hilarious the way he said it. 

Y/n "I will have to agree with you, Corey...it looks way scarier in person."

Corey "THANK YOU! We should bring her more often, now I can have someone to agree with me that this is a fucking bad idea!"

Sam "brother….it's only for the next...12 hours."

Jake "Oh yeah...only 12 hours...easy peasy!"

…

The front desk Manager "Hello, welcome to the Langham hotel!"

"Hello, yes we have a reservation for room 333 and 334"

The Manager "Oh yes, under Cole Brock and Corey Scherer?"

"Yes, that is us!"

The Manager "Very good, I'll just need a way of payment and then you all can be on your way." I handed him my credit card and then he handed me the room key.

Jake "Bro..I have to ask you, is this hotel really haunted?"

The Manager smirks "Well you will find out sooner rather than later."

Corey "Oh fuck this bro! Are you kidding me?!" Y/n's face dropped and I could see the little bit of nervousness in her face. 

Sam "This is gonna be a fun night boys!"

Y/n "haha! Yeah..super fun boys!" I wrap my arm around her shoulders to keep her close to me. 

I whisper to her, "You good baby?"

Y/n "Yeah..just creeped out."

"It'll be fine, I'm sure that nothing will even happen. It's just for fun okay?" She giggles and agrees with me. Oh I was so wrong...so wrong!

____________________________________

As soon as we got in the room, our equipment started going off the charts. The meter spiked red immediately.

Corey "I am not staying here, bro."

"Yes you are, I already paid." 

Jake "These meters are a joke. Anything electric can set it off, this means nothing." I hate how negative Jake can be sometimes during these trips. He isn't completely wrong but it has to be more, right?

Sam "Wow! Did y'all hear that?"

Y/n "I heard it! It sounded like a little kid screaming!"

Sam "Yeah! You guys didn't hear that?" We all say no.

Y/n "Babe..that was so loud, how did you not hear it?"

"I wasn't really paying attention."

Jake "I never pay attention."

Sam "Yes, we know Jake."

That made her laugh a little bit. I hand Sam the camera and go behind Y/n and wrap my arms around her waist. 

"I'm not gonna leave your side, okay baby?" She nods and relaxes a bit. She can fool the other guys into thinking that she isn't scared but not me, I know her better than anyone and she is terrified. 

The night goes on. We walked around the whole hotel, getting some spikes on our meter and heard some voices that we couldn't really pinpoint where they came from. I didn't let go of Y/n's hand the entire time, even when I filmed so that Sam could have a break I either had her hand or she had her arm latched on to mine. Once we got back to our hotel room, Y/n laid down on the bed while Jake and Corey got their room set up for the night and Sam charged the camera. 

Sam "That was spooky, huh?"

Y/n "yeah..some of the voices I heard were really strange."

"Do you think we caught everything on camera?"

Sam "I don't know here," he hands me the camera so that I can look through the footage of the night. As soon as I started scrolling through the videos, we heard a soft moan come from the bathroom. I looked up at Sam for validation and he looked at Y/n and we all heard it.

I immediately got up from the bed, pulled Y/n into my side and we got our belongings and headed to Jake and Corey's room.

"Dude, dude, dude, dude! There was a moan!"

Corey "what?!"

"There was a fucking moan coming from our fucking bathroom!"

Sam "We all heard it."

Y/n "it sounded like one of us made the noise but we didn't...that's how clear it was!"

Jake "Alright...I am kind of freaked out guys."

Y/n "can we please leave?"

Sam "We only have 4 more hours to stay here...why don't we just all go to bed?"

Y/n looks up at me with fear in her eyes, I grab her face and kiss her quickly. 

"Everything is fine baby...let's just go to bed." That's where I regretted it...we should've left when she wanted too.

____________________________________

Sam slept on the left side of the bed, Y/n was in the middle and I am on the right side. We fall asleep after a few minutes of chatting. In the middle of the night, Y/n jolts up from a dead sleep and screams.

"WHAT? WHAT BABY?" I look down and the blanket is completely ripped off of the entire bed.

Sam "Oh my god! Go, go, go!"

We all got our belongings packed up and we walked towards the door but before we reached it, the door bangs. As if someone is trying to break into it. We all scream and Y/n falls into me. 

Sam "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"HOW CAN A SPIRIT DO THAT?!" Sam walks up to the door and looks through the peephole.

Sam "there...is no one there."

Y/n "Oh my god let's get the fuck out of here!" Sam yanks the door open and we run out of room 333. The boys heard all the screaming and they packed up in a hurry and we got out of there by 6:52 a.m.

We got in the car and everyone is out of breath and really shaken up. I told Jake and Corey everything that happened and they almost didn't believe me.

Corey "I heard a loud bang..I thought it was one of you using the bathroom or something!"

Sam "No brother! That was the freaking door!"

Jake "I think that this was the most evidence that we have ever caught."

"Just wait until you all see the footage, we caught more than ya think."

____________________________________

Once we got home, we immediately went through the footage of tonight's events. We got all of the whispers and moans that we heard throughout the hallways. We got bangs and creeks that we didn't even hear! We caught the blankets being ripped off of our bed and the loud moan. Lastly, we got the bang on the door. 

Corey "I'm so glad I didn't stay in room 333 dude...that shit was crazy!"

Jake "Yeah..nothing happened in our room."

Y/n "Awesome."

Sam "Well we got the proof that we needed! I say we edit it later on today and we all shower and go back to bed." We all agree and Y/n and I go to our room.

….

"Wanna join me in the shower babe?" She sleepily agrees and we both wash each other. Once we got into bed, we melted into the mattress like it was butter.

Y/n "That was scary...I didn't believe in the supernatural until last night."

"Yeah...I haven't experienced anything like that before, are you okay?"

Y/n "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for not leaving my side babe."

"Never."

_____________________________________

@moriartysringtone7137 @multistanimagines @kid-that-likes-to-xplr @azurebrock @taradummy @daddydobrock

#colby brock #sam golbach #jake webber #corey scherer

[justlostinautumn]

The Assistant 17/20

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16

Avengers x Reader (Fury/adopted-daughter) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A girl trying to hide her past who was adopted by Nick Fury, but cared for by Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Being Tony’s assistant and asked to help the rest of the team. She doesn’t remember much from her past, but maybe working with this group of misfits will help knock a few memories loose and open some doors to the past. – Sorry if this sucks!

A/N: Please send me thoughts on where you want to see this imagine go… or ideas for new stories!

Y/N POV:

Y/N was strapped on a table as they scan her looking for possible chips and tracking devices, but what her parents didn't know was Tony had been working on tracking devices that couldn't be traced or seen without specific equipment. Equipment that only Tony has! She was beginning to wake after she had been knocked out by the tranquilliser, she could feel a dull throbbing in the side where she had been shot. “Rise and shine Sweetheart.” Her fathers face loomed over her and she froze as memories of her being told off and punished by the man who was meant to make her feel safe.

“Sir.” She looked up at him, she knew he preferred being called sir. She was just an asset she wasn’t his child.

“She remembers her manners.” Her mother waltzed into the room smirking.

“She sure did grow up pretty.” Her father commented and her mother nodded in agreement.

“Get up!” Her mother ordered the restraints had been removed and Y/N got up quickly ignoring the protests of her stitches.

“Good girl, but you still need to be punished for that little Houdini stunt you pulled when you were sixteen.” The voice came from the shadows and she watched her brother walk towards her.

Y/N knew she would be put through hell. She knew they’d collect her pretty much straight away and decided to leave that out, this was her plan she wanted to kill her brother herself. This was the only chance she was going to get and she took it, she knew her punishment would be 100x worse but it would be worth it. In one quick movement, she was behind her brother with his head in her hands and with a jerk to the right and a sickening crack she broke her brother's neck and let him fall to the ground.

“That’s better.” She smirked at her parents. The scream her mother made sounded like a wounded animal and her father had a murderous look on his face. She knew she could take them but she was tired, there was still so much she doesn’t remember and she is hoping with their help it will help the last pieces fall into place.

“You little slut!” Her mother screeched in her face and slapped Y/N. Y/N didn’t react she gave her mother a cold look that made her mother shiver and takes a step back.

Armed agents came in and guided her to the cage, some things never change. The cage had an electrical charge that would shock her at random moments disorientating her, they would also minimise the food and water they would give her. This would be phase one of punishment, there would be two more stages. Phase One lasted 4 days not that Y/N knew that she had barely slept. They took her out of the cage and started Phase Two, this was training. She knew she would still win, but she wasn’t running on optimum. Her body was weak and tired, she was going to be slower and take more hits, she knew Phase Two had two parts the first was combat and the second was the dance. She knew when she was done for the day she would be put back in the cage and subjected to the torture again. Her mother loved Ballet and ensured that Y/N could perform flawlessly for hours on end and Y/N knew once the righting stopped the dancing would start. Phase Two lasts the longest of 8 days. Her parents ensured before punishment started to inject her with a serum that accelerates her already accelerated healing abilities thanks to the serums, they do this at the start of each phase and by the last phase, Y/N heals within minutes of the wound being inflicted. The third and final phase is her parents favourite, they inject her with different serums and acids that burn her, but because of her healing, they keep doing it. They cut and stab at her letting her bleed out, she knew there was a chance this time they may just kill her.

Y/N was on her twelfth day of being back home.

“We will be going onto Phase Three tomorrow.” The twisted smile on her fathers face told her everything and she continued her dance knowing better than letting her form drop just because he was talking to her.

“Phase Three will be longer than normal, especially after you killed our son.” Her mother hissed. At that moment Y/N realised, she may be apart of their DNA and their child but she isn’t their daughter and it for some reason hurt. Her father had stopped calling her Sweetheart and the gentleness he normally shows during punishment is gone. Y/N knew for a fact Phase Three would be the end of her life, they couldn’t keep her after she had performed the biggest betrayal… killing their only hire.

“Cage now.” Her father instructed and she walked to her cage and stood by the door knowing what was going to happen. He pulled out a needle and injected the serum by stabbing it into the back of her neck and pushed her in. He mother and father left the room and she was left to sit there and think about everything.

How long have I been here? Are they looking for me? Maybe they don’t want me? Is James okay? Is James safe? As she thought more and more of Bucky she didn’t feel the shocks the cage was delivering. She was panicking thinking about Bucky and then her mind slipped to Wanda, Pepper, Maria, Nick and Tony and how they must all be going insane. How Maria most probably destroyed the dinner she had cooked. Pepper most probably shouted at Tony. Tony most probably paced a hole in the jet and then hauled himself up in his lab with Bruce and Peter sifting through everything she gave him, Y/N hadn’t had the time to organise all the information. Nick was most probably the most rational wrangling everyone together and giving out orders. Wanda would be with Bucky, they would be having quiet conversations in their heads, trying to unlock some of Bucky’s memories. But they would also be working out their aggression. Bucky punching holes in bag after bag and Wanda would most probably be hurling the already destroyed bags into the walls until there is nothing left of them but the mess they made.

A sad smile paints Y/N face as she thinks about some of her family, she didn’t know how the others would be acting. There was a chance their guilt was eating them up slightly. Y/N laid down on the floor of the cage and let the shocks run through her body because anything was easier than thinking about what the ones she loves are going through.

The next day she was dragged out and tied to the table, she knew she wouldn’t be leaving this to go back into the cage. Y/N start to pray that Tony’s tracker actually worked because she didn’t know how long this would last. An IV was set up and she realised how long they planned on doing this, they were going to do this for as long as she could take it until she begged for death. Y/N would die before she begged her parents for any kind of relief. She had all of her memories back now and she swam in them avoiding the reality of what is happening around her. Her views were boring as the injected her with all kind of things that would kill a normal human, they continued this for the whole day and Y/N didn’t make a noise or cry. When they put the IV in she felt her veins being soothed and knew they were giving her more serum and she fell into a dreamless sleep, she knew the next day would be worse but she was tired.

Day fourteen, Y/N had been woken up by something warming in her and she realised it was the tracker she stabbed herself with, it had been activated and relief flooded her but it was short-lived when the stabbing and cutting started to happen. They stopped when it looked like she was about to die or pass out and wait a couple of minutes and then started back up on their torture. How long would it take for the Team to get her? Will I get to see James and Wanda again? Will I get that dinner with Maria and Nick? Will I get another one of Pepper’s hugs that soothe my nerves? Will I get to babysit the oversized man-child Tony Stark? Will I get another one of his hugs? Will I get to stare into those icy orbs that have been the things get me through all this? Before Y/N passes out she hears the wailing of the siren indicating someone has breached the building and everyone gets into action. She feels the cuffs come undone but the damage is done and her parents cannot use their greatest asset to defend them… this was the beginning of their end!

Tags:

@jay-the-mothafuckin-gay, @dark-night-sky-99, @jsmith509, @stormi-ames, @thelostallycat, @animegirlgeeky

#the assistant #the avengers #the avengers x reader #the avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers #marvel imagine #marvel #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine

[amour-salvatore]

anyone but you

Part 2

”Aren´t there any other workers that can open the door?” he asks sitting down on a bench, after you told him that for their safety, doors to the locker rooms won’t open again, once closed unless you have a key which you left outside with your bag and Harry left his sports bag with his phone in the bus.

You shrug. ”I don't know, maybe the cleaners when I´m lucky. ” you whipser the last part.

You walk up to the door banging against it ” Hello can anyone hear me.” you really can't be locked in with Harry, even imagining for a split second that it's going to be for the whole night, makes your stomach tiwst.

”Did you plan this?” he asks all of a sudden.

Your mouth hangs open ”Are you serious? No I did not plan this, Harry.” You shake your head turning your back to him. Every minute is too much with him.

 ”Why did you move away the brick?! Couldn't you use your brain and think for a second that maybe it's there for a reason?!” You nearly yell at him. You could´ve been at home now learning.

He looks at you thrown away by your tone, not answering.

You sit down on the opposite of him. You're both silent for a while until Harry starts talking again.

”What should we do now?” He walks up to the door bagging against it. But it's useless. As much as you dislike him you do realize, he ran for 90 minutes straight, it´s harder for him than you.

You´re thinking of ways you could get out of here. There´s an air shaft, but it´s unlikely you fit through it, besides that,, there´s nothing not even a window.

“I don´t know, at 12 pm the security begins their shift, maybe they’ll walk around here.” For the love of god please do, you think to yourself.

Silence fills the air again.

 “Wanna play never have I ever?” he waggles his eyebrows.

You glare at him “No thank you.” 

“Can´t ever have fun, can you?”

You roll your eyes “You´ve been a dick to me since I can think. Why should I even act like I tolerate you. I don´t.” You meet his gaze and there´s a quick shadow of hurt flashing his eyes, which he quickly covers up.

He lays down on the bench, laying his head on his hands. You watch how his shirt lifts up, revealing his abs. You’re going insane locked up in such a small room, so you start walking up and down to get your mind somewhere else.

“I'll get a headache, sit down Y/N. There are plenty of other ways you could use your extra energy.” he wears a smug grin on his face.

“You wish Harry.” You feel how his eyes roam your body.

And you could´ve sworn you heard him say, I do. But that could be your head playing games with you. After all, you´ve been locked in for 2 hours already and it´s starting to get late.

“Then let me start, never have I ever slept with a footballer.” he raises his eyebrows, his eyes not leaving yours.

“Very funny Harry.” You fake smile at him might as well play along instead of dying out of boredom.

He holds his hand up, gesturing you to put one finger down. Instead you show him the middle finger and put one finger down.

“Okay, never have I ever, cheated.” you wink at him. You both hate each other but teasing the other is the only time you get along, more or less.

He puts a finger down the smile fading off his face.

“Never have I ever tried to make someone jealous.” He conters in a raspy voice.

And it´s your turn to put one down, rolling your eyes but he puts one down too. Your stomach feels strange again, probably because you haven´t drunken anything for 2 hours. Right now you´re both sitting across from each other your glances battleing each other.

“Never have I ever,” you think of something good that will make him lose. “said I love you without meaning it.” He doesn´t put one down, causing you to look at him with wrinkled eyebrows.

“I´ve never said I love you without meaning it Y/N.” He says in a serious tone.

Harry doesn´t leave you anytime to ask further questions quickly carrying on.

“Never have I ever flirted with someone when I knew they´re taken.” and that´s when you both put your fingers down. You break eye contact, not being able to look into his big brown eyes.

You feel his eyes on you, it´s as if he let his guards down. He´s not the Harry that teases you but the old one.

“Y/N, I..” he wants to say something but gets interrupted by the door swinging open revealing one of the security guards.

”We got a call that a player is missing, I knew he was occupied. But they wouldn't believe me.” he smirks looking at you both.

You´re caught off guard, not realizing you moved closer to Harry. He´s the first one to stand up.

”Thank you man.” he shakes his hand.

”Could´ve been a little sooner though, groupies are great but once we're finished it's hard to get rid off them.” he winks at you, being himself again.

You also stand up, walking out of the door. Thankful, someone found you and you get to breath fresh air again.

”That's not true by the way.” you tell the old man when you pass him.

”Sure miss.” He smiles at you, not buying it.

#harry winks #harry winks imagine #harry winks blurb #harry winks fluff #jesse lingard #trent alexander arnold #football imagine

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

Secret Studies ch.12 -For Every Action Has An Equal Reaction

The Elementalist AU

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words: 2640

Oriana overindulges...will there be any consequences to her actions?

Beckett didn’t hear from Oriana the rest of the night. He kept reaching for his phone and starting to text her when he would get nervous and put it down without sending. He had sent her exactly one message hours ago, a simple “Have fun tonight, I love you” and didn’t receive a response. He was really starting to freak out that his mother had ruined things between them with one dinner. He’d really hoped she was going to be civil and give Oriana a chance. He’d really talked both Oriana and their relationship up, and just talking to Oriana always brightened his day. He’d hoped the message he’d sent had been received and things would have gone better. But they didn’t. As usual, his mother was dead set on ruining the evening.

He looked at his clock. 2am. He sighed, rolling over in his bed onto Oriana’s side, inhaling the faded scent of her shampoo on the pillow. He missed her. He doesn’t even remember the last time he slept alone. Either she was always at his dorm or he was at hers. He hated knowing that she didn’t want to see him tonight. It made him feel like a failure.

  Suddenly, his phone rang. He shot up, his heart pounding as he saw Oriana’s name flashing across his screen. He prayed she was going to ask if she could come over or vice versa.

“Oriana? I’m so glad hear from you! I thought….”

But the voice that cut him off wasn’t Oriana’s.

“Beckett? Is that you?”

“Yes. Who’s this.” He demanded.

He could hear loud music in the background and the person was practically shouting into the phone to be heard.

“Beckett, it’s Shreya…sorry to call you, but…I need help. Oriana is completely wasted, and I think she needs to go home, but she’s not listening to me and she keeps pulling out of my grasp. Can you come?”

Beckett squeezed his eyes shut. This isn’t like her. She must be in so much pain.

“Beckett? Beckett!! Are you there? Can you still hear me?”

“Yes.” He rasped out. “Tell me where you are.”

A million thoughts were flying through his head as he went to Penn Square and the house Shreya had described. He knew about this party. Pretty much everyone knew about this party. He was chiding himself for not going with her in the first place. He whipped out his phone and text Shreya, since he now had her number, asking where they were. Wandering throughout the enormous house he found himself out in the back where there were a million lights and disco balls suspended in the air. Excessively loud music was thumping through the gigantic speakers that were stationed all over the house and yard. He finally spotted them, noticing Zeph was also there. A pang of hurt washed through him, knowing Oriana was no longer out with just Shreya.

Zeph spotted him and started waving his arms. “Beckett! Thank god! Our girl has had way too many drinks. I just got here too, she interrupted my hot date with Netflix.” He winked, and Beckett couldn’t help but chuckle at him.

“Seriously, Beckett, thank you!” Shreya shouted.

“Thank you for calling me.” He told her.

“WHAT?” She shouted.

Beckett rolled his eyes. He hated parties like these. Can’t hear a damn thing but the music. “Where’s Oriana?” He shouted back. Shreya pointed, and Beckett followed with his gaze until her saw her. His breath caught, seeing how hot she looked, then he frowned as he realized she was dressed like that for tons of people that were not him. He turned back to Shreya. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Between the three of us, I think we’ll be able to get her home!”

Beckett nodded, and the three of them walked over to Oriana, who was currently at the bar doing another shot with a couple people from the Thief team. He lightly put his hand on her shoulder.

When she turned around to face him, his eyes traveled from her ruby red lips, to the curves of her dress, and the tightness of the fabric that was way too short for his liking. He wanted to rip it off her. She frowned at him.

“What are you doing here? I said I needed a night!”

“You’re drunk. It’s time to go.” He told her firmly.

She let out a harsh laugh. “So, you’re my babysitter now?”

“Oriana, I called him.” Shreya piped in. “And Zeph. We need to leave.”

Beckett reached for her hand and she yanked away from him. He instinctively took a step back, wincing as though she physically hurt him.

“I’m not going anywhere!” She shouted, before stalking off towards the house.

Shreya, Zeph, and Beckett all followed her right out the front door. On the porch, where it was a tiny bit quieter, she whirled around.

“What the fuck, Beckett? You can’t give me a fucking night off?”

“I was! I was in bed, missing you I might add, when Shreya called me from your phone telling me to come.”

“Of course, blame it on my friends. It’s what you’ve always done! Just tell the truth, Beckett! I’m not good enough for you! My friends aren’t good enough for you!”

“That’s not true!” He shouted back. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Ori, why are you doing this? Are you trying to punish me?”

“Punish you! For what? I just want to not think anymore! I’m tired of thinking! I’m tired of fighting for this damn relationship! It’s one fucking thing after another and I’m sick of it!”

Shreya stepped between them and Beckett felt like his heart was just ripped out.

“Oriana shut up and listen to me! I called Beckett. I called him because he’s your boyfriend and I thought if anyone could get through to you, it would be him. And he came. For me. For you. So, don’t tell him that none of us are good enough for him, because then it’s you who’s lying!”

Oriana narrowed her eyes, and she opened her mouth to shout again when Shreya kept going, not giving her a chance.

“You owe him an apology! He never would have come if I hadn’t called him, and that’s because he respects you! So his mother is a bitch. She’s not him. He would do anything for you, and a lot of people have in-law trouble.”

“We’re not married.” Oriana snapped.

“So? It still applies!”

“Well maybe I don’t want to have that trouble! Maybe I have enough shit in my life that I don’t need more!”

Beckett swayed and Zeph was at his side, holding him up.

“Don’t listen to her. She has no idea what she’s saying right now.”

He shook his head, and a feeling of nausea coursed through him. Just when he thought he was going to throw up…Oriana did, right into some bushes.

“Ori?” He rushed forward, lifting her hair away from her face as she heaved

She grunted something intangible. He said nothing, just kept holding her hair until she finally seemed finished. She stood up straight slowly, looking at him first, then Shreya, the Zephyr.

“When did you two get here?” She asked, pointing between Beckett and Zeph.

“Do you not have any idea what you just said?” Zeph cried angrily. “You practically tore my boy open here. What is the matter with you?”

“I just wanna go home.” She muttered, taking a couple of steps before stumbling.

“Then we’re helping.” Zeph and Beckett helped keep Oriana upright, while Shreya called Aster. When they reached the portal, she announced she was going to meet Aster at her shop for a hangover concoction.

“She makes the best.” Shreya assured them. “I’ve taken this many times, Oriana will feel great once she has it.”

Stepping through the portal, Zeph and Beckett managed to get Oriana to her dorm and into her bed. She hadn’t said another word, and as soon as her head hit the pillow she was snoring lightly. The two men went into the common space of the suite. Beckett buried his face in his hands.

“Hey.” Zeph said gently. “She didn’t mean any of that. You know that, right?”

Beckett just shook his head. He knew she meant every word, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Beckett.” Zeph called his name sharply now, and Beckett finally looked at him. “Look…I just want you to know…I know you two have been through a lot of crap, and for a few reasons, some only the two of you know. Why neither of you are saying everything, I can only guess, but here is what I do know.”

“I don’t need a pep talk.” Beckett snarled, starting to stand.

“Sit Down Now.” Zephyr scolded. Beckett paused, registering his tone. It’s rare for Zeph to get upset and stern with people. Slowly, he sat again.

Zeph took a deep breath. “The two of you are like. Relationship goals. It is insane how much the two of you love each other. People would kill for that. Hell, people have killed for it. Are you going to let one night destroy what you have? One night that literally neither of you caused?”

“I don’t want to, why would I want that?”

“Then don’t let her push you away right now. You know how you pushed her away? She’s capable of doing the same thing. Don’t let her. You’re better than that. Both of you are better than that.”

Beckett ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “You can give me any potion, any spell, and I’ll figure it out and be better at it than anyone else. You can give me any textbook, and I’ll read it cover to cover. Give me any exam and I will ace it. But with Ori…” Beckett trailed off helplessly. “She’s not something static. Sometimes I have no idea what to do with her and that scares the shit out of me.”

Zeph smiles at him. “But don’t you see that’s a good thing? If it didn’t scare you, what would be the point? Admit it, even before you started hooking up, she terrified you.”

“Well, I thought she might take my number 1 spot in the class, sure. That was more annoying than terrifying. And then she got me in detention. I’ve never had detention before in my life, it was awful and humiliating.”

“Didn’t end up awful.” Zeph reminded him

Beckett blushed. “er…no. No it didn’t. Not exactly, anyway.” Beckett remembered their detention as if it were yesterday. He wanted to hate her, wanted her to admit she had him under some kind of spell. But then he kissed her, and as soon as he did, he never wanted to stop. Being interrupted by the shadow monster...that had been terrifying. The creature itself could haunt someone’s dreams, but Beckett was only terrified of losing Oriana. And when he healed her…he couldn’t stop from being inside her, claiming her as his.

“Don’t leave.” Zeph told him. “Talk to her when she wakes up. Don’t walk away. Especially not over something as ridiculous as a dinner gone bad.” With that parting comment, Zephyr got up and left the suite.

Beckett sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, then slowly went back to her room. He stood there in the dark, not knowing what to do. Finally, he crawled into bed with her. She gave a little whimper, and the next thing he knew she had turned around to face him, and he was staring into her deep eyes.

“You’re still here.” Her voice was soft, a bit cracked.

He nodded.

“You didn’t leave.”

He shook his head.

“Why not?” She whispered

“How are you feeling?” He murmured.

“My head hurts.”

They lay silent for several minutes, neither one knowing what to say to the other. Finally, Oriana spoke first.

“I am so sorry, Beck. I didn’t mean what I said. I was blowing off steam. You weren’t supposed to be there to hear it.”

“I think you did. I think you meant it all. And I’m wondering what that means for us. And why you haven’t told me before. Not everything came from just tonight.”

She swallowed nervously. “I’m very tired, Beckett.”

He nodded. “I get that. And I get that you didn’t want me to come out tonight. I do hope you understand that I only came because Shreya asked me to. You have good friends, Ori. Don’t take them for granted….” He trailed off, feeling a bit choked up. He’d never had friends the way she did. No one ever looked out for his best interests like that before. The fact that both Zephyr and Shreya stood up for him tonight blew his mind.

“I know.” She said quietly.

He took a deep and shuddery breath. “You said you needed time to digest things. I can honestly say that I do too. It hurt. What you said tonight.”

“Beckett…” She started

He shook his head. “Ori. I’m not going anywhere. You know I love you more than anything. I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it’s come to you, to us, but I am never giving you up, do you understand? We will come back from this. We have to. You aren’t the only one that’s been fighting for us to be together. You aren’t the only one having to defend us to other people.”

She frowned. “What do you mean? Who are you defending us to? Other than your mother?”

He gave a sad smile. “Oh, Ori.” He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “There are some people who act differently towards me when you’re not around. It may surprise you.”

She sighed. “Right. Of course. My friends.”

He shook his head. “For the record, both Shreya and Zeph stood by me tonight. But I’m still afraid to call them my friends because if you ever left me…so would they. I’m not stupid.”

“You really don’t know how to open up to people and let them in.”

“You’re right. I don’t. You’ve seen firsthand why that is, Oriana. You’re the only person who has ever understood me, and has wanted me, and hasn’t judged me for where I come from. I’m not Beckett Harrington to you, I’m just…Beckett. I don’t want to lose that.”

“So, what do we do?” She whispered

“We give each other space. Just like you wanted. I know you were very intoxicated tonight and said things you wish you didn’t. But you did, and I can’t act like it didn’t affect me.”

He looked back down at her, noticing tears welling up in her eyes.

“Hey.” He murmured, cupping her cheek in his hand. “Hey, this isn’t the end. You know that, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Right. Because ‘space’ is associated with being close to someone.”

He kissed her gently on the forehead. “I want you, Oriana. I have no doubts. I just want you to figure out what you’re really feeling. And if you really do…want me. As I am.” His voice cracked, and he squeezed his eyes shut to hold back his own tears.

He rolled out of bed, needing to get away.

“Beckett. Don’t go.”

He paused, his hand on her bedroom door handle. “I…I’ll speak to you soon.” He hurried out the door, running into Shreya coming in.

“Jesus, Beckett! You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing?” She demanded

“I have to go. She has a headache, I hope Aster was able to provide you with the tonic. Goodnight, Shreya.”

“Wait, Beckett…” But he was gone, dashing out of their suite and into the night.

Shreya marched into Oriana’s bedroom. “What the hell did you just do?”

Oriana sighed, a tear trickling down her face. “I think I really messed up.”

  @annekebbphotography @carabeth @gardeningourmet @eileendannie @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul @alesana45 @thequeenofcronuts @zigortega4life

@marianagmt @divergentofhogwarts @flyawayboo @kate-omalleys @syltti78 @coldcollectornight08 @emerald-bijou @herdecisions @nerdynstoned @owleyes374 @thatcatlady0716 @damienswhore @imaginemulti @hypno-bear-tini @askdana @drakewalkerfantasy @noisysoulthing @confessionsofabrokegirl @meiyoko-trash @coffeebeandragon @pbmychoices @sweetest-marbear​ @darley1101 @blackcoffee85 @bieberismysoulmate

#secret studies #beckett x oriana #beckett harrington fanfic #the elementalist fanfic #beckett x mc #beckett harrington #the elementalist #choices the elementalist #playchoices #fluffy-marshmallow-heart

[abbybandianna]

It’s a Sunday,

And there’s a storm on the way, right now it’s 12:33pm, I am sitting in my double bed with it’s newly purchased bed spread, the spread has a velvet side and a cotton side (the cotton being the inner side). It’s a warm, dusty, luminous mossy olive green, it compliments the deep slightly dull and dark red wall it clashes into. I awoke some time late 8am, it wasn’t an alarm that awoke me as that was set for 9:38am, yes 9:38am, I hit the hay early last night after a very early wake yesterday morning which deprived me of adequate sleep for my body to function at some degree of optimal. Usually when I’ve had lack of sleep I tend to stay up late, later than I want to and later than I normally do, always a contradicting habit but I do enjoy the state of mind that comes with lack of sleep causing a delusional state of awake, it brings ghosts I can fall into nostalgia with, it brings things I need to hash over or work out, man one sec sorry to deter away from this but I have incense burning and I need to.. back, ahh that's better, I enjoy burning incense but I does get a little too much and I have a sudden urge to extinguish the stick, my old room (one suburb over, how did that I happen I wanted to be far away ah ha) was a bit bigger so burning a whole stick would bother me too much, my new digs is 3x3 which I like as it’s cosy, especially with a large window and glorious RED wall, COLOUR, ugh, one thing my old place lacked, you will never find me owning a house with a large white wall ANYWHERE, okay tread carefully Abby your you may fall into a rant here, steer away, steer away love before it’s too late!

There, distraction, as I pressed down on that “!” my superficial would twinged, I had my 3rd laser removal session the other day on the tattoo on my wrist, my useless desire to connect in my early twenties felt a band name as a tattoo on my wrist was a good idea to get me through the life of working in a shit job 50-60 hours a week and being paid below what they should have been paying me, another story another day if I have find the need to dwell time again on that part of my life, so the tattoo is on day 3 of healing and typing on my laptop I probably shouldn’t really be doing as I have a TERRIBLE habit of not being able to just CHILL after a session and SLOW DOWN I like to GET SHIT DONE... well I am always STRIVING to be in a place in life where I am always TAKING IT ALL ON and working towards them life goals... and dreams, both of the same thing to me, don’t fear what you dream, not all will come true but hey, some of them if you put the time, dedication, and effort into they might just manifest even greater than you initially engendered because to THINK, to CONCEPTUALISE is one thing but when actions and movement continue to be applied to a given situation a catalyst begins to form...

Where was I...

Oh yes, you see what my mind is like?

I was mentioning my sleep, well anyway, I slept 9-10 hours straight last night, have not slept like that in many months, I cannot remember the last solid sleep for that long.. it was delectable.

I awoke slowly and got out of bed to open the shutters which block out all the light and most of the noise from the street outside, I crawled back into bed and laid snuggled in my cocoon of 3 blankets, one my doona with a new cover, one a blanket from my family when we were growing up, it’s blue died wool (poor sheep) with a fabric binding on the ends that is red with printed shapes, the print is a combination of white and blue paint brushes, tubes of paint, and pallets. I remember thinking when I was 8 or 9 how some of the brushes look like a set of drum sticks, the third blanket which is a quilt was made just for me by a family friend for my 18th birthday, also blue. As I slowly adjusted my well slept eyes to the morning light seeping through the paisley swirls of my make shift “hung fabric” curtains spills into my room gently illuminating the space, the material itself is a rather dull colouring in moderate light but when light is passing through it electrifies the colours from dull blues, red, oranges, and yellows to vibrant hues. Once the nag for coffee beckoned my being more than the desire for the warmth and cosiness of my cocoon I got  up and peculated a mug of black cawffee ***makes Homer Simpson drool noise***.

I have been making a many on changes in my habits for what feels like a long time now, one of the very few last things I am yet to do is either cut out coffee all together or at least not have a it everyday, I use to drink 3-8 cups a day and have only been drinking one cup a day for about 3 years now, just struggling to take that next step to have it a few times a week, it’s a personal thing not something I believe everyone should do, I would one day  like to see how it feels to live predominately on a very low acidic diet and a high alkaline and ph balanced diet. Modern lifestyle habits can be a hard bad habit to kick, or at least so I’ve discovered on my own personal journey on this spinnin’ ball of dirt.

There is no real point to what I’m rambling on about here, fuck I need to change song wait, ahh, now yes, there’s no real point, this is what I call rant pant rambles, sometimes it’s nice just to write what ever is on your mind, after my coffee I relaxed fighting the urge for a possible wake n bake (something I DO NOT do that often, especially nowadays), I ended up feeling today needed to go in that direction, I have been working so hard lately on focusing on all that I want to develop and create in my life right now, I need a day just to relax in my little nest all day, eat fruit, drink tea, smoke billies, and just create, draw, write, read, listen to music, plan, organise... I am so fortunate to be able to have a roof over my head right now and for all the things that have been becoming a part of my life lately... to have the time and money to obtain and do these things is a blessing, I try to always be appreciative of all that I have at my finger tips, from hot water in the pipes to gas in the car, to the technology I type and communicate with and utilise for all the things I am trying to manifest right now. Time, time is energy and energy is money, a game I don’t agree with, money, what a concept hey... that’s a whole other ramble, oh golly, I now must listen to Ramblin’ Rose by Chuck Berry after this current tune which is just now drowning out to a close, uno momento, ahhh there we go, in come the brass, the drums, the keys, and vocals n’ guitar of our late Chuck, sing it brother, I have this tune on vinyl in a storage locker but yet here I sit with only a few seconds past with a few taps of the finger and here plays a tune with no wires connected to the waterproof portable speaker next to me. Modern Technology has changed human life forever...

Rain is gently starting to fall outside, it’s a chilly day, my fingers a cold as they along with my head are the only parts of my extremities that are exposed direct to the air right now, the storm is due in the next 2 hours, should probably close my window.

I stretch daily, a combination of general stretches, yoga, tai chi, and low impact callisthenics and/or pilates. I just call it “stretching” though AH HA. It is just insane how much stretching daily has aided getting my body back, I feel so good after a stretch, I usually do 20-45 minutes daily, I try to focus on all areas with my routine but make it different everyday so I don’t get bored or have it feel like a repetitive mundane daily chore, ya know, keep it fresh and different, routine is good but too much consistency can lead to dissatisfaction and restlessness.

[myhauntedsalem]

13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps

Death, illness and tragedy have long been part of the history of insane asylums, and for as long as they have existed, so too have the scary stories associated with them. From haunted hospitals to sadistic doctors and nurses, psychiatric wards have been the inspiration for many of our favorite horror movies and books. Yet, the true stories told by the psych ward workers below far surpass any horrors that we might have seen at the cinema or read in a book.

Without further ado, here are thirteen of some of the creepiest psych ward stories on the internet that have been shared by health care professionals.

1. Holding her own Eyes

My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I’ve ever heard.

This was during the night shift, and generally, all the patients’ bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.

When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.

The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.

My mom screamed for help and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.

2. The Saw

I work as a psychotherapist in a hospital system. My definition of creepy is probably quite a bit different from other medical professionals.

The one that got to me the most was a patient who came to us after attempting suicide by sawing both his arms off at the forearm with a table saw. His arms were reattached, fairly successfully too, with only limited impairments in mobility. All I could think was how bad it would have to be to live in his head that sawing his arms off seemed better than that.

He has since completed suicide.

3. Jane?

We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We’ll call her Jane. Jane’s first night at our facility staff doing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.

Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room she would run between walls in her room touching them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. This particular night Jane was frantic in her pace, practically running between walls. Our night staff observed the entire interaction and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When the staff went to check on Jane she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong and Jane replied, “what makes you think you are speaking to Jane?”

4. The Vampire

My mom worked in mental institutions in her younger years (and actually worked at a large, well-known asylum before it was shut down.)

There was one woman there that thought she was a vampire of sorts. She was only allowed out one hour a day, and they had to use safety precautions. She had already attacked and killed at least one hospital worker before these were enacted.

When my Mom asked about her, it was revealed that she had killed at least two of her children, wounded another as well as her husband because she had some sort of physical condition called Porphyria, which apparently made her crave blood.

By the time that they discovered there was something physically wrong with her, she already had lost her mind from guilt and grief.

5. The Spitter

I’m not a psychologist but my friend is. She told me about a patient of hers who was HIV positive and a paranoid schizophrenic. He thought that the nurses who worked at the hospital he was in were trying to kill him, so he would frequently bite his tongue, and spit HIV positive blood into their faces/mouths. When they had to come into contact with him, they were required to wear full masks and gloves.

6. The Only One

I once knew a woman who had spent part of her residency at a psychiatric hospital for people with severe mental conditions. Apparently, the grounds had a lovely, enclosed greenhouse. One day, one of their schizophrenic patients was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, as a heron frantically flew around. It had found its way in and, not being able to escape, it was smashing into the large panes of glass. The man just sat there watching.

Finally, my counselor asked him if the bird was bothering him and he kind of sighed and said, “Thank god, I thought I was the only one seeing that.”

7. Family Photographs

My sister is the director of a psychiatric hospital. There was recently a lady there who would cut her arms, legs and torso open and place photographs of her family under her skin.

8. Under the Bed

Once, a fellow female patient told me she found writings under her bed. They were just old, small wooden bed frames with hard mattresses that would make all kinds of noises when you rolled over, but I still wondered what exactly she was doing lying under her bed to find these writings.

When she first told me, I thought it was a joke. But sure enough, one day during group we managed to sneak away, and she showed me. Indeed, there were stories written under her bed. After that, we had everyone check under their own beds, and there was more writing under every single bed.

They were stories of patients who had stayed here before, or ways they were planning on killing themselves, or who the good and bad nurses were. It creeped me out.

9. Time of Death

Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar “checklist” that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way.

They would get caught talking to someone that wasn’t there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, “Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00.” Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.

10. The Test Subject

I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody – often the CIA – is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.

“It’s precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects,” he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?

“You can see I’m not irrational,” the man said. “I’m just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am.”

11. The Boy who Loved Knives

As a tech in psych years ago, there was a 7-year-old kid sent to the floor because the mom didn’t know what to do with him. Sadly, common thing to happen, even if the kids don’t have psych issues. Anyway, the mom was shaking and crying, and they had to take the kid into another room. She was genuinely afraid of her own son. She had suspected something was wrong when she kept finding mutilated animals in the backyard, but never heard or saw coyotes or anything around. The neighbors smaller pets started disappearing. The boy had an obsession with knives, hiding them around the house. Denying anything when the mom confronted him. Then when the two started getting into arguments, he would get really violent and hit her, push her down and kick her, threaten to kill her. On multiple occasions she woke up in the middle of the night with him standing beside her bed, staring her in the face. She put extra locks on her bedroom door to feel safe while she slept. The last straw was when she lifted up his mattress and found 50+ knives of all shapes and sizes under there. So she brought him to us.

I remember talking to him, treating him like he was just any other kid that came through. He seemed remarkably normal, until you spoke directly to him. He had this way of looking right through you, or maybe like he didn’t see you at all while you were speaking.

He would respond like a robot, like he was just saying words because that’s what we wanted to hear. And he would always put on this creepy, dead-looking smile. Like all mouth and no eye involvement in the smile. Especially when he would get away with something, like taking another kid’s markers and they couldn’t figure it out. Still gives me chills laying here thinking about him.

I believe I met a 7-year-old psychopath.

12. The New Mom

I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients’ medications, and being a 5’2″ girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.

His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me “Miss Jones” or “ma’am.”

One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.

This escalated to the point of him calling her “Mom” and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn’t be his mom because that would hurt his real mother’s feelings, and that she already had that job covered.

So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.

13. Bugs

Nothing I can say can possibly describe the year I worked in Psychiatric Intensive Care. Creepy isn’t the thing that comes to mind when I think back on it…more heartbreaking and horrifying. But creepiness was a part of it. Especially evening and night shifts, naturally.

There is always something disturbing about watching someone while they hallucinate. You can tell it is 100% real to them, and something about that makes you believe it, on some level. A lot of stories end with, “and of course, I had to look over my shoulder to make sure”. You see the emotions it brings out.

There was a woman that came in and sat down across the table from me for her admission interview. She had bandages all over her arms and scotch tape over her mouth and ears. She looked very uncomfortable and wouldn’t really sit still. When the nurse would ask her a question, she would peel the corner of the tape back and answer, then stick the tape back on really fast.

We eventually found out that she saw and felt bugs crawling all over her, and they were trying to get inside her body. The tape was to keep the bugs out. The bandages were because some bugs got in and she had to dig them out. She couldn’t sit still because she felt the bugs all over her even while we sat and talked. The worst part was, she had some idea that it was her mind playing tricks on her. Can you imagine going through your life, feeling like someone is continuously dumping buckets of cockroaches on your head, feeling like they’re all over you and getting inside of you to the point that you’re digging chunks out of your flesh in a panic, all while knowing intellectually that none of it is real?

#13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps #shared stories #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

[missjackil]

My Diary to the SPN Finale

Day 4. 

I overslept my alarm and was almost late for work. Normally. I have a terrible time staying asleep. Most of you who message me know Im up at 4am sometimes. My life is very stressful so its very hard to sleep, so when I wake up at 4am I always put the boys on, watch one or 2 episodes and go back to sleep/ Last night and the night before however, I slept straight through and past my alarm. “This is great!” one may think, but I spent all day exhausted anyway. What I think is happening, is that even though my body is too tense to rest, it knows to spend an hour or 2 with the boy's won't help. 

I went to work, forgot what I was doing a bunch of times, and forgot how to do some things I've done a bunch of times. I have to make up excuses, I can't say “My fav show is ending and I'm devastated” or people will think I'm nuts. 

At work, all I want to do is come home. But at home, my kids are breaking my heart, my pets are making me insane, and my house is falling apart, and my “security blanket” now feels like jagged sandpaper on my heart.

I'm not a drug user, nor much of a drinker (socially at best) but how stupid is it, that now I want to do both?  Im actually jealous now of those who can drink or pop enough pills to be numb. My vice is smoking. Yesterday I lit a smoke when I left work and a customer said “That shit will kill you” and I answered “I sure hope so”  Im going to give you all a little background history of me, Its ok if you stop reading now, but follow along if you dare😳

Im 52 and have had clinical depression my entire life. At the very least since I was 4. I dont know how it started but its been there as long as I can remember. needless to say my childhood sucked. Anything that could go wrong did. Im terminally single, unattractive, and perpetually poor even though Ive gone to college twice and have 3 degrees. Ive had 4 failed suicide attempts, my first was when I was 12 and ate 30 +\- asprin which only gave me bleeding ulcers and liver damage and 2 years of therapy that was worthless.

In Jan 2014, my life changed. I came into a good sized inheritance from an uncle who was a retired Army Sgt (mujch more about that I dont know other than he fought in Korea) and was left $50,000. (as were each of my sisters) I didnt go nuts and spend this right away, my daughter, father, and I were living in a decent apartment and  was saving it for a down payment on a house. My sisters all used their money to pay off their mortgages and other bills. I was looking for a nice house to buy, but even with $50K I wasnt sure I could handle the property taxes and utilities that had been previously covered by my landlord. My father decided that stairs were no longer something he could handle, so he moved in with my younger sister, so decided that I would just pay a lot of up front rent on our apt and stay there a few more years, but no, the landlord informed us they were selling in 3 months and there was no guarentee the buyer would want to rent out our unit. 

Then my car died, which was what was getting my daughter and I back and forth to work. Now I have to dip into the money and get a car. I got a $7000 used car that we shared and as soon as the warrenty was up, everything failed. After spending $2000 for repairs and it was still falling apart, I get another one... cheaper this time, but hey, it runs. 

Time goes by, we have 30 days to move out, as predicted, the buyer didnt want to rent our unit out, he wanted to move his mother in. So now Im scrambling to find something to move into in 30 days I find a trailer that seemed like it would be a good fit for just me and my dauhter, lots of room, 2 bathroom a nice yard. Im just about to buy said trailer and the park informs me its been sold because a buyer offered cash. Im like “Ummm I have cash too!” and theyre like “oh.... we were unaware.... but hey we have another one for you” and this one is much smaller, but a newer model so it wont need as much work. With 2 weeks left to move, I reluctantly take it. Now, we move, but with no one and I mean absolutely NO ONE to help us, we left 90% of our belongings in our old apartment because we cant lift shit and neither of us could rent a truck, we only brought what we could carry out. and I had to spend the rest of the money on furnature. Of course I lost my security deposit and also had to pay an additional $2000 for “clean up” of my old apt. 

Fast forward to March 1 2015, Im back to broke but still working my ass off. My dryer is broke, my AC and heater, the back door has been leaking quietly for so long you cant step within 2 feet from it or youll go through the floor. Theres a crack in my bathtub that has leaked under the house and is causing my back yard to slowly sink. My daughter works and together we can afford the lot ren, utilities and food. Nothing extra though. We were saving to start fixing things but trying to decided what was most important, and what was most costly. The dryer is cheapest, the leaky tub and sinkling yard is the most expensive but HAS to be done at some poijnt. I buy space heaters and wall unit ACs but that gives me $300 electric bills LOLOL. However I am introduced to SPN and these wonderful boys that I love instantly, and gives me an escape. Helps keep me sane. 

We get things almost together, then suddenly, my father died from the flu Feb 1st 2018. This day was the worst day of my life, it was also the night Various and Sundary Villians aired and after all the tears with my sisters and trying to get arrange,ents made, ALL I could think of was coming home and just escaping into my boys for a while. And I did, and it was a blessing. However, within a couple months, my younger sister and I are hit with my dads bills. Hospital bills, credit cards, car payments on a H3 Hummer he bought a few months before. My older sisters didnt get hit with this because they’re his step children, just my younger sister and I do. $30,000 of debt split between my younger sister and I. I havent been able to pay on any of it because they dont give me any option for low payments. Its like “$1500 by whatevermonth 30th or we take you to court” My sister is handling it ok because her husband makes $$$ but not enough to help me too. So, right now Im just keeping my house heated and my kid and I fed and my lot rent paid. Soon my wages will be garnished and I wont have that either and it will be all on my daughter. Now, my escape, the last thing in my whole world I enjoy is ending. So yes.... Im hurting. 

#SPN Finale #my diary #day 4

[gibbzer]

Book Worm

This post was written almost ten years ago. So much has happened since then. I’m no longer married and my son is in his late twenties. He is now a very successful music promoter where music is as important to him as words are to me. 

‘I grew up in a house with no books. It seems completely alien to me now. I trip over piles of books on the way to the bathroom. My son has lived his childhood in a house crammed with books. Though, ironically, I haven’t seen him read. Not for pleasure. Not since he was 12. (Secondary school knocked that right out of him.) But I take some comfort in the fact that until he was 12 he was a bookworm too. We read to him every single night. Book after book. He would beg us not to stop. My husband says those were the best years of his life. My mother, Becky, didn’t read to me. It wasn’t what she did. She was too busy mothering me. It was her mother who taught me to read. I was three and she taught me through the medium of the obituary column. Old Nell’s eyes weren’t great and she needed to know who was dead and who wasn’t. I was her conduit. Becky didn’t have a hand in it but she liked the fact that I was a ‘good reader’. I was more than that actually. I was the best reader in the whole class. Though that wasn’t necessarily where glory lay. Not when you always had to be the Narrator in the nativity play. Not when you wanted to be the Angel. Or Mary. Not when you had to stand behind a screen and NOT BE SEEN. I remember running home, snot tripping, to tell my mother about this terrible injustice. She marched straight up to the school. (She was allowed to disappoint her own but woebetide anyone else who tried it) The teacher was cut from the same granite stone. She wouldn’t back down. There was no room on the assembly room stage. Not among the shepherds and the wise men and the donkeys and the baby jesus in his crib. Besides there was no one else in the class who could read it. It was that simple. Welcome to show business. So Becky spent the bulk of that week’s housekeeping on a brand new red velvet frock and I wore it. Behind the screen. No one else saw it but it had a huge bearing on the quality of my performance. Then she bundled it back in the bag and returned it to the shop. My mother’s ambitions for me were never academic. She changed my school just as my Headmaster decided I should try for Oxbridge. He thought she was insane but I was unhappy and she knew it. I was fat and depressed and she wasn't having that. Besides she put more store in a different kind of intelligence. If I’d had the nouse to travel the world as an air hostess, find my meal ticket in the business class lounge and live a life of leisure by some tropical pool she would have slept easier. I didn’t. And her uneasy relationship with my contrary choices lasted the whole of her life. She wasn’t surprised when I announced I was going to be an actress. (In her mind I’d always been a drama queen.) I couldn't say she jumped from the rooftops singing but she never stood in my way. She wasn’t impressed by fame, she was more impressed by money and I clearly wasn’t making any. Every time I got an acting job she’d sigh, ‘Oh, well. It’s a start’ She was still saying that 15 years later. I have no doubt she felt my constant rejection as keenly as I did and her tone always brightened whenever I phoned and said I was supply teaching again. She could never resist a quick, ‘You stick in there, hen. They might want you full time.’ Her reaction when I started writing was Becky all over. I used a story she'd told me about her and her six sisters as the basis for that first script. When it was finished I asked her if she’d like to see it. She hesitated. Then nodded. I watched her read it, slowly, page by page, face set. When she was done she looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘That’s fantastic’. There was a pause. Her sharp blue eyes glinted. ‘I didn’t know you could type!’ My mother is in everything I write. She didn’t read to me but she made me, in her words, ‘all the woman I’d ever be’. I think about my relationship with my own son and wonder if all those hours spent reading to him will have had as profound an effect. A few months ago he decided to purge his childhood and clean out his room. There were 5 huge boxes of books. I rescued the ones I couldn’t bear to lose sight of and labelled the rest ‘Calum’s Favourites’. One day he might open them again and share them with his kids. But if he doesn’t, I will. And I’ve left strict instructions that those are the books that go with me to the Care Home.’

#books #reading #family