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It's nice that since 2021 Marvel been giving us Christmas content.
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Are any of y’all making mistakes too or is it just me
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[image description: the bugs bunny in a tuxedo "I wish all (blank) a very pleasant (blank)" meme edited to say "I wish all of my Jewish followers a very pleasant rosh hashanah". In front of Bugs there is a jar of honey, a stack of apples and pomegranates. In front of bug's mouth there is a shofar.]
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One time, not long after I started my job, I was at work, and a customer asked me if I knew what he could get a 50 year old woman…
Well I thought he asked me WHERE he could get a 50 year old woman. Without missing a beat, I suggested “you could try the black market, but I’m not sure what deals they have”
I am now 3 years into my job and I think about this every month. I hate myself
uh oh! you misunderstood a social cue and said something mildly awkward. you will think about this and cringe everyday for the next 20 years
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this is shocking
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Who tf gave men the right?
A man is out here flirting with me then throwing out a Schrödinger’s douchebag uno reverse after every flirt, and I’m over here with my trust issues and my fear of being hurt, confused as all hell.
I would like to issue a formal complaint
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last night i had a dream that i told a joke that was so funny it killed people. I woke up after killing someone with it and in my tired stupor, rushed to write it down before I forgot it or fell back asleep. I just checked and this is what i wrote down
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Reblog to make it die faster
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MINDHUNTER (2017) s01e01, dir. David Fincher
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BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig
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Keen as a bean, can’t wait!
Hummingbird Updates
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Hello everyone!
I wanted to send out a little update about my Miguel O'Hara x Reader fic since it's been a while since I've updated.
Chapter 5 will be releasing this Saturday, rain or shine because if I do not give myself a "due date" I will agonize over it incessantly and never finish.
The devil works hard, but my need for pseudo academic validation through Tumblr works harder.
Give me strength, friends, to complete the task ahead of me.
Masterlist
Also, it's officially Autumn - I don't care what anyone else says. My need for pumpkin spice, halloween cookies, and witchy weather will reign supreme.
Taglist: @geraskier-thots @howabouticallyou @sweetheartlizzie07 @dont-mind-me27 @omg-edzia-stuff @sarcastically-defensive17 @trouble-sistar @saltyluminaryvoid @sadslasher13 @yas-v @thel0v3hashira143 @trishuh8 @vague-flying-shape @tiana76 @dinuxia-bhm @mxtokko @devilsrose666 @natbratty @zettoaizawa-shusband @notasadgirlipromise @niyanispunk @thecraziestcrayon @athenxt @imnotyourbcbe @jannajuju @lunamoonbby @sseleniaa @elaineiswithyou-blog @summerli-u @rattlethemskulls @bubbabobabubbles @loonalockley @aleombre @littlelilies@07-bilin @nerdalicios @insanely-creative-things @enby-rising @nataliahemsworth @coralineyouareinterribledanger @damnzelsoul @enheduannasposts @bontensbabygirl @mynameiswilliamblake
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my main goal for my intro to psychology course is by the end of the semester to be able to spell psychology correctly without having to think about it
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Shorter conservatives: me, me, me.
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Stage Names
Summary: You've been hiding your boyfriend from your friend's and coworkers. Little do they know, he's right under their noses.
Pairing: Security!Din x Stripper!Female!Reader 
Words: 2113
Warnings: Secret Relationship, Birthday Fluff
A/N: This idea was sparked from a super silly conversation a long time ago, but I loved what came out. Soooo, here you go.
Feedback fuels me!
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Your parents were disappointed in you, but this wasn’t anything new. You had never been good enough for them; your grades could always be better, your behavior could always improve, your goals were never high enough. It had been that way your whole life, and even as an adult that hadn't changed. What had changed was the fact that you stopped caring about what they thought.
That didn’t change when you changed careers. Even after years of consistent income and support from your current job, they hated it. You didn’t understand why: you loved what you did, you were good at it, and you made more than enough money. Eventually, you just accepted that it was the job itself they despised.
You were a stripper.
Not the career you had picked as a child, but you loved it. You made enough to live comfortably, hell you had even helped your parents with bills and still had enough to buy a house. But no, it wasn’t good enough for them. And you had accepted that you never would be. So you stopped talking to them, stopped telling them about work, about your life. You knew they didn’t truly care, and that was fine. You were happy with your job, your coworkers, and your boyfriend of 5 months.
Life was good, and you were happy.
“Luna! Where are you?” your coworker called around the corner. You hummed back, applying your lipstick carefully in the mirror.
Luna was your chosen stage name, and that was all anyone here knew you by. It was for safety reasons, of course, despite knowing most of the other girls outside of work. Everyone at this club knew each other, and were basically family. The Guild was by far the best strip club in town, being classier and more strict on its customer base. You and the girls were taken care of, the bouncers, security, and bartenders all helping make sure everything was safe and okay. It was one of the reasons you loved your work: you felt safer here than anywhere else.
You had been here the longest, over 3 years now, and only Raven was closest to your time here, closing in on 3 years of her own time.
Raven turned the corner, squealing as she saw you. “There’s the birthday girl!”
You smiled but shushed her. “Oh stop it.”
“Never,” she declared, setting her two normal bags on the vanity beside you, followed by two other bags, one of them clearly a present.
You gasped as she held it out. “Rav! We said no gifts.”
“Well, I lied,” the girl replied, falling into the chair. “It’s your birthday, you deserve to be spoiled rotten.”
You blushed and rolled your eyes, pulling the tissue paper out of the bag. “Fiinneee, I guess I’ll let you spoil me.”
“Someone has to, other than your regulars that is.”
You sighed. “I forgot about that. Crap.” You paused and met her gaze. “This is going to be the most low-key present I’ll get tonight, huh.”
Raven laughed, nodding. “Probably.”
You opened the gift and giggled at the tiara, sliding it on before pulling out the book inside the bag as well. It was one you had been wanting for ages, you gasped and thanked her, exchanging hugs. “Oh, this is perfect!”
“I knew you’d love it,” she replied, grinning widely.
You two continued to chat as you got ready, the club not opening for another half hour. You could hear music start to play in the main area, barely filtering through to the back rooms. Slowly more girls started to show up and get ready, all wishing you Happy Birthday and giggling at the tiara perched on your head.
Time passed quickly with the small talk and usual gossip, until Raven piped up again. “So Luna, when are we meeting this new boy of yours?”
You blushed, rolling your eyes. “This again?”
“What! I’m just saying, it’s been months now and we don’t even know his name,” she replied.
You slid on your heels, sighing. “I’m enjoying just…being with him, you know?”
“Which is valid,” Tasha piped up from across the room.
“Thank you!” you cried.
“I’m not saying that you’re not supposed to enjoy your time with him,” Raven responded. “I just want to make sure he’s treating you right.”
“Oh, he is,” you stated. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him, which was new for you. “He messages me every day, we see each other as often as we can, he respects my job 100%, and even buys me flowers.”
Multiple girls awwed at your description, Raven whining. “Now I’m just jealous.”
“You’re the one who asked!”
A knock sounded on the door to the back, followed by a familiar deep voice calling through the wood, “Everyone decent?”
“Come in!” all the girls cried back, laughing softly.
The door opened and Mando stepped through, glancing over the room as she shut it behind him. Mando was the head of security at the club, had been working there since before you had even started. He was the main one to make sure you girls were all okay, the one that kicked anyone out who did one tiny thing wrong. He was also the only one allowed into the back room with you girls other than the dancers; he was always polite about it though, making sure everyone was alright with him coming in, and then just doing so to make sure everyone was in a good headspace.
Mando wasn’t his real name, of course. Everyone here, even the bartenders, went by fake names. It was just for safety, to protect anyone involved. You had asked where the nickname had started before, why everyone called him “Mando” rather than Mandalorian, which was the title scrawled onto his nametag. He had just shrugged and said it was easier.
Mando was tall, broad, and drop-dead handsome. His black hair was usually ruffled and a mess, but in a way you could only describe as sexy. He had a groan-worthy scruff covering his jaw and deep brown eyes that noticed everything. The man’s protective nature paired with his wide shoulders and tall stature made him someone to fear, but only if you did something to deserve it. Mando was the reason you felt safe in this club in the first place, and even all these years later that hadn't changed.
“How’s everyone feeling?” he asked, moving through to check who was there.
Girls piped up with their responses, all of them being along the lines of “good” and “ready”.
By the time he got to your corner, Raven beside you, she smirked and said, “Did you know it’s Luna’s birthday today, Mando?”
You groaned. “Rav!”
He chuckled and glanced down at you, meeting your gaze. “I did actually. Happy Birthday, Luna.”
You fought back a blush, replying softly, “Thank you.”
“Alright, if you’re all ready, we’ll open up here in five,” he said to the room, moving back to the door. Everyone nodded and agreed, watching him leave and shut the door behind him.
Raven fell back onto the chair beside you, groaning. “God he’s so fucking hot. think he has a girl?”
“If he does, she’s lucky,” you replied, checking your makeup in the mirror one last time.
“Oh definitely. He’s probably a beast in bed…fuck…”
You giggled and smacked her arm lightly. “Focus, girl.”
“I’m focused!”
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The night went as smoothly as you expected. Like you had realized earlier, all your regulars had brought in gifts, each one too expensive and too much, but you thanked them and took them. You made more than you expected as well, most of your regulars paying extra on top of the gifts, and even some new customers tipping well once they heard it was your birthday.
So as the night wound down and the club closed, you sighed gratefully, ready to just head home and relax.
You rubbed your feet, only you and a few others girls were left in the backroom, Raven being one of them. “So, you’re off tomorrow?” she asked, cleaning up her items.
You nodded. “Yep. Gonna spend time with my boyfriend actually, he wanted to make a day of it.”
“Awww, that’s too cute,” she cooed. “I expect to hear everything and more when you get back.”
Laughing softly, you nodded. “Deal.”
She grabbed her bag, standing up. “I’m out, you need a ride?”
Shaking your head, you smiled softly. “No, he’s coming to get me soon.”
“Oooohh, maybe I should stay then…”
“Oh get out of here! Go home.” You rolled your eyes and shooed her away, slowly packing up the rest of your things as she left the room.
As she waved goodbye and left with the rest of the others, you breathed in the silence of the room, relaxing further. The day had been great but you were tired for sure.
A soft knock sounded on the door, and you called out for them to come in. You glanced up as the door opened and Mando stepped inside, He quickly noticed you were alone and moved towards you, a soft smile on his lips. “You did great tonight,” he muttered, holding out a hand.
You hummed and took it, letting him help you up. “Thanks, baby.”
His arms slid around your back, pulling you close to rest his forehead against your own. “I heard the girls asking about your ‘boyfriend’ today again.”
“God, Raven wants to meet you sooo bad,” you giggled, shaking your head. “Little does she know…”
He hummed and chuckled. “I think everyone would panic if they found out.”
You laughed at the idea, burying your head in his chest. “Probably. But…”
“…but?”
“I like it being like this,” you muttered into his shirt. “We’re Y/N and Din, not Luna and Mando.”
His arms tightened around you, and you could feel his nose bury in your hair. “…I know how you feel.”
You sighed, letting your eyes close as you took in him. It was something you two had discussed when you first started dating, how work was wonderful and great, but how you both felt like slightly different versions of you. Over time, you weren’t Luna in his eyes, you were Y/N, his girlfriend. And to you, he wasn't Mando, the security guard that checked in every night. He was Din, the sweet man that woke you up with gentle kisses and made you feel more loved than you had ever felt.
You both stayed like that for a moment, before he spoke again. “Alright, let's head home and rest. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
“Oh do we?” you asked, pulling away to grab your bags. “Do I get to know these plans finally?”
Din laughed, shaking his head. “Nope. You got spoiled tonight, and I plan to continue to do so tomorrow.”
You smiled softly, kissing his cheek. It was one thing you were extremely grateful for: Din was not jealous in the slightest of any of your customers. He knew you cared about him more, that he got the real you. He even supported and encouraged you to work, knowing you loved it. It was healthy, and made you fall even more for the man.
“Fine, I guess I can be patient.”
He chuckled and grabbed a few of your bags, following you out to the parking lot. “It’ll be worth it, I promise.”
Din opened the passenger door of his car before you could, making you roll your eyes with a smile. Cupping his cheek, you kissed the corner of his lips. “If it’s with you, that’s more than enough for me.”
He turned his head and gave you a proper kiss, making you sigh softly against his lips. you pouted as he pulled away, making him chuckle. “Get in the car. There’s more where that came from back home.”
“Fine,” you hummed, sliding into the seat.
You watched Din close the door and move around to the other side, setting your bag in the back before sitting down and starting the engine. Your eyes were on him the entire drive, and all you could think was how this is what you had wanted, this was the love and happiness you deserved.
It didn’t matter if you worked at a strip club. It didn’t matter if it was where you had met the man who had stolen your heart. You were happy, and that was what mattered in the end. Even if right now you both had stage names to protect the love growing between you both, you had him, and that was all you wanted.
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Feedback fuels me!
I do not use a tag list anymore, due to tumblr's new posting system.
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In Full Swing: A comic about Spider-Gwen’s past inspired by Across the Spider Verse 🏳️‍⚧️ (⚠️Spoilers!⚠️)
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