#i shouldn’t have to suffer just because one person turned out to be super shitty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloodynereid · 5 months

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Hey babes! What do you think about some rivals to lovers for jordan li? I love how Jordan was super competitive at the start of the show, and idk why but I wanted to see more of that from them :) anyway something angsty but also super cute?

Jordan Li is my new obsession and the little amount of fanfiction for them hurts

Sending you lots of love 💕💕💕

Heartstrings

pairing: jordan li x fem! reader

tw: angst, horrible parents... again, rivalry, swearing, fluff, crying, alcohol consumption, intrusive thoughts?

description: rivals always do have that unspoken tension don't they?

a/n: hiii sorry it took like a month to write this - hopefully it's similar to what you thought about. also sorry it's so short, i think i went into a sort of mini writing slump so i'm trying to get back on the saddle. anywaysss hope you enjoy <33

You let out a huff as you collapsed on one of the picnic tables outside of the exam room (what really was a random auditorium). God, that exam was horrible. For some reason, it seemed easy up until the moment you dropped the stack of papers off at the examiner’s desk.

Business was probably easier than it was at different colleges because it just focused on supe management but it had a variety of key terms that you had studied like a maniac. But… you still felt like a failure. How were you going to make it past Jordan fucking Li on the leaderboard if you got a mediocre score on a random business final?

“Damn that exam was easyyyy, why are you grumbling on such a beautiful day like today?” Speaking of the devil.

“Jordan…” You said, poison lacing your tone as you looked up at the stupid smirk on their face.

“Y/N. What did you think of the test?” You and Jordan had a sort of rivalry between the two of you since you started at God U.

Freshman year. You and Jordan share the majority of classes. It sounds like the recipe for real friendship but no, it turned into something more twisted.

“Incredibly easy, what about you Jordan? Think that you actually did well at something for once?”

“Oh I’m hurt darling. Who’s higher on the ranks by the way? I haven’t checked.”

“Fuck you.”

“I think that’s something you want to do.” Jordan’s voice held something hard to identify as they leaned forward and she winked at you.

You smoothed out the fabric of the dress you were wearing. The gold dress hung around your frame perfectly and it actually made you feel confident in a room of people who probably had more money that you could even dream of.

A sip of bubbly champagne filled your mouth when you suddenly felt a solid presence behind you. The flute of bubbly alcohol was plucked out of your hand and you twirled around with an indignant look on your face. You really shouldn’t be surprised that the person standing in front of you was Jordan.

“Wow, so now you don’t just steal my place in the ranks but you also steal my fucking champagne.”

“It’s pretty shitty champagne, you’re not really missing anything.” Jordan said as they smiled that stupidly teasing smile of theirs as he took another sip. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the flute back out of their hands.

“What do you want, Jordan?”

“Oh I don’t know, it seems like you looked a little lonely.”

“So this whole charade was so you could check on my wellbeing, yeah I fucking doubt that.”

“Then why do you think I came here?” Jordan purred out as they leaned on one of the columns.

“To gloat.”

“Oh I think you suffer enough whenever you open up that little phone of yours to see who’s higher up.” Jordan said they trailed a finger over the hand that you were using to hold up the flute. Your eyes narrowed and you felt a shudder of pure hatred run through your veins. Quickly pulling your hand away, you huffed and walked straight away from a smirking Jordan.

“Aww did I hit a nerve, sweetheart?”

Frantically wiping away the tears that littered your face, you slammed your phone down maybe a little too harshly on the concrete steps. You heard the protective case shatter but in that moment all you could care about is the venomous words spewed into your ear by your parents.

Never enough. That’s what you constantly felt like. You were the eldest and yet you could never do anything as perfectly as your brothers. They were getting top ranks at their supe training school and what were you doing? You were sitting at a mediocre 5. Not good enough for parents who demanded perfection in every single aspect of your life.

A sob was trying to fight its way out of your throat when you buried your head between your arms. The harsh fabric of your jeans scratched painfully on your tearstreaked cheeks. You deserve the fucking pain at this point.

You could almost feel your blood boiling when your powers turned on hyperdrive. Well that’s wonderful timing. Suddenly you could feel, hear and see basically everything. The senses assaulted your very being and a choked whine left your lips.

Why did they think you weren’t good enough? Top 5 is something kids and their parents dream about. And yet you were sitting around on a cold concrete slab crying your eyes out because of your parents.

“Y/N?” The voice you recognized ever so well, made you look up from your clothed arms. Meeting Jordan’s eyes with your own tear-filled ones.

“Fuck off Jordan, I don’t need or want to deal with you today.” You said sharply before dropping your head back onto your knees. You didn’t feel Jordan move away though, instead a warm body settled down next to you and you felt an arm weave around your shoulders.

The chill that had seemed to have permanently weaved with your DNA left when Jordan cradled you into their embrace.

“Y/N?” You let out a loud sob at the sound of your name. What you didn’t realize was that Jordan’s eyes were filled with brimming concern. They had never seen you like this, you were literally like a rock. You always took their teases in stride and easily rebuked them. Your little cat and mouse game was one of the only things that kept Jordan going whenever they were having a bad day.

“I fucking hate them. I do everything they ask of me and yet I’m never enough. I’m never going to be as good as their perfect little sons.” Your words came out in heaves and sniffles. Jordan felt a pang of emotion, they knew exactly what you were feeling.

“I get it, I know everyone always says that but I really do this time. My parents fucking suck. They constantly demand perfection, don’t they?”

“Yeah…” You trailed off as the tears started to dry up and crust on your cheeks.

“Are you okay, darling?” Jordan said softly as you looked up to meet her eyes.

“I can’t believe you are comforting right now, but other than that fine.”

“Always with the scathing insults.” Jordan said with a delighted twist of their smile.

“You know me… thanks for this Jordan.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Something sparked in Jordan’s eyes when you smiled at them. “You know I don’t really hate you right?” Jordan said softly as they caught a stray tear with their thumb.

That was when you had the realization, you never really hated them either. You liked the competition. You liked feeling pushed and you absolutely adored their stupid fucking smirk.

“Maybe I don’t really hate you either.”

“Ah you see, progress.” Jordan said, making a zap of energy sing through you.

“This doesn’t mean we’re going to be friends suddenly.”

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it but between you and me, darling, I think we would be something more.” Jordan said with a wink which made goosebumps appear on your skin.

“You’re going to have to beat me first.”

“In what?”

“In that stupid business exam… results come out tomorrow. If you get a better grade than me you get to take me out on a date, if I get a better grade than you I get to take you out on a date.”

“Seems like a win-win situation either way. I can’t wait.” Jordan brushed their warm fingers across your cheekbone before they sent you one final wink and a smirk before heading off in the direction of the dorms.

“You coming? We do have that marketing exam on Friday…” Jordan called out over their shoulder, their remark made your body instantly heat up. Fuck it. You were in a losing battle with them again, this time the prize was your heart and they were certainly going to win it.

ahhh jordannnnn

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rex101111 · 2 years

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wanna talk about Ender Lilies and how it gave me a world full of corpses and greed and blood and still made me want to save it but that’d be spoilery soooo

*spoilers*

Alright so I’m not the biggest fan of super edgy stuff, right? Like if you’re into that kinda stuff more power to you have fun but. I dunno you give me a story full of selfish assholes with no desire or ability to improve and ill check out straight away because I can see where this is all going. Everyone is going to be horrible to each other and/or die and I am...not about that life. That’s just exhausting.

If the world is already doomed and dead, and none of the characters in it are interested in either fixing what’s left or restoring it to what it used to be, why should I care?

Enter Ender Lilies, and the place you play in called Land’s End. Right after the first boss fight you are greeted by a blood red sky and black rain and everything and everyone you find is either a heavily disfigured corpse or a heavily disfigured thing trying to chew your baby face off.

The only people you talk to are ghosts. Literally. You are the only living person in this entire damn kingdom still capable of not acting like a starving animal. The world is suffering from a curse called Blight, that corrupts people’s bodies and souls into violent blood thirsty monsters of various shapes and sharp objects that can’t really and exist in constant agony. Your player character, Lily, has the ability to absorb the Blight and thus allow someone to peacefully pass on.

Every time you have a conversation with someone, they are already long dead, in body if not in spirit. Some are afraid and confused like a young boy two feet from the first boss that got turned into a slug, others are relieved to finally be free like an old priest, still more are ashamed of what they became and did like a soldier who turned crazy and killed his friends.

The one ghost you spend the most time with is the Umbral Knight, who accompanies you from start to finish. He has been dead even longer than most of the people in this kingdom, and death no longer holds any terror over him.

He’s the one who wakes you in the start of the game, and pushes you forward. Most video game helpers of his kind would be prodding you in the back to get you to Fulfill Your Destiny and all that, but instead he’s simply there to keep you safe, everything else is up to you, up to Lily.

He’s very empathetic to all the suffering and death you see across your journey, saying small prayers and hoping those you find and free can find some peace at last. He’s also, very importantly, empathetic to just how utterly shitty this situation is for Lily.

She’s a kid, a little kid, and it shows. She can barely run, her dodge has her falling over face in a panic, and her jump barely gets you anywhere. She doesn’t do any fighting at all. What she does is manifest the spirits of the bosses and mini-bosses you find and they do all the fighting while she scurries around trying to keep her head from getting chopped off.

She shouldn’t be doing this. The fate of this miserable kingdom and all its mistakes should not be foisted onto this little girl, and the game fully acknowledges this. Several points in the game has the Umbral Knight express that what he wants is for Lily to get the hell out of this damned place. Leave the death and pain behind and live for herself.

If the game kept going “but you MUST save this place!!! only YOU can end the suffering of these poor poor people!! suffer the pain for their sake!!” it would have been just this side of miserable. The more Blight she absorbs the more corrupt and pained Lily becomes, but I felt the urge to go on anyway because while nobody here asks are even expects my help, they so very clearly need it.

The choice between getting rid of the Blight and just letting it all rot is firmly in your hands, and the game doesn’t even judge you too harshly for it. Its a perfectly reasonable response for a kid like Lily to try and than...just get scared and leave, disappointed that she couldn’t help everyone.

The Umbral Knight hugs her goodbye, and tells her that she should live. This kingdom brought this fate on themselves. Its okay. You can leave. Be safe. Be happy...don’t give him that look...

And because I could leave, because the choice to leave was a choice, I felt all the more motivated to fix this damned mess of a kingdom and give all these folk some peace and closure.

Ender Lilies isn’t too edgy for me, despite the gory imagery and somber tone, because it shows that the world can be helped, that you could leave but you could help...and that Lily clearly wants to help. And she can help.

There’s a glimmer of hope no matter how sad and dire things get in Ender Lilies. Just dark enough that you understand the gravity of the situation, but not too much that you don’t see the point of trying to make anything better.

so yeah play Ender Lilies.

#Ender Lilies #random crap #baaaaah i platinumed this game i wanna ramble with someone about it but non of my mutuals have played it seemingly XD #i want everyone to play it c'mon #its like Hollow Knight but prettier and kinda like Drakengard and Bloodborne

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rollflasher · 2 years

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My current thoughts on Sonic Frontiers

With the unstoppable courage Get a fire pow- Oh wait, wrong Frontier.

So, almost a week ago we got a new trailer for Sonic Frontiers and...my thoughts are pretty mixed, so I’ll just get out of the way what I thought of the trailer itself.

To be frank, I actually loved it! My main critique is the obvious lack of gameplay, which is a red flag considering SEGA’s own confidence in the project. I think it can’t be stressed enough the fact that by this point we SHOULD have some footage of actual gameplay, granted what we say wasn’t all CGI but we shouldn’t have to wait more to see how Sonic plays in this game. I just hope that SEGA is indeed doing this for the sake of giving a surprise to the audience instead of more unfortunate reasons like a lack of confidence or progress.

About the aesthetic itself...if I’m honest, I wanted a less cartoony and whimsical Sonic game for a long time, however I have to point out that the enviroment is guilty of suffering of the ‘’Sonic on Unreal Engine 4 Fan Game’’ syndrome, since at first glance it looks generic and unremarkable. However, I also saw some interesting bits that makes me hope this new enviroment will have a chance to stand out on its own during gameplay. I am aware of the BotW comparisons but let’s be honest, that game was a big hit and it’s impact on other open world games is to be expected, so I don’t see the point in calling this a BotW rip-off. From my perspective at least, it’s like calling a Metroidvania a rip-off of Super Metroid or Castlevania: Symphony of the Night...when it has become a standard for games in the genre to use those titles as reference because of the impact they made.

Now here’s the interesting part...the story.

This post might get outdated in days because apparently the plot summaries we got are inaccurate, but I’m still going to give my two scents on what we actually have to work with.

So far the premise we got of the story is that Eggman discovers an ancient technology, installs an AI program to hack it and then it turns out this gets out of his control and now Sonic has to save the day.

I’m going to be frank here...

This premise is absolute garbage.

I’m not usually the one to jump to negative conclusions regarding Sonic, and anyone who follows my blog knows that, but I’m also not going to pretend this is fine and I will quickly explain why.

The reason this premise is so bad is because its yet ANOTHER plot of ‘’Oh, Eggman awakens an ancient monster but he gets upstaged because he can’t control it’’ and to be frank, I don’t even want to give it the benefit of the doubt because this trend should have stayed dead, period. We already have 10 games with this shitty ‘’Eggman gets fucked up’’ plotline, so why do it AGAIN, specially when the post-2010 games, in spite of all their flaws, have moved on from this?

I’m just gonna ask a simple question to illustrate how pointless this trend is.

Why shouldn’t this franchise have new antagonist who don’t need to upstage Eggman to stand out?

I repeat

Why shouldn’t this franchise have new antagonist who don’t need to upstage Eggman to stand out?

And it’s not like they never did this before, the Storybook games had Erazor Djinn and Merlina and it turns out they’re more memorable than the majority of generic villains this series has that had to upstage Eggman to prove their worth.

In fact, with this premise I can be sure that the antagonist is going to have the personality of a cardboard box and I can assure Eggman is going to get upstaged in a stupid way.

Besides, it’s been apparently confirmed that Ian Flynn is writing the script of the game. I know that there are a lot of folks hyped for this but to be honest, Ian shouldn’t be writing for the games since he has proven to be unreliable with his hijinks in the comics, particularly his superficial understanding of the characters and his habit of bending characterization for the sake of plot convenience.

The fact that the Metal Virus arc in the comics ended up with Eggman being upstaged to ‘’raise the stakes’’ is part of the reason I’m sure Flynn will play the premise of ‘’Eggman fucks up because plot needs new villain’’ painfully straight.

I know someone will inevitably say

‘‘But Flynn is better than Pontaff!’‘

And yes, he is...but here’s the big question. Is that enough?

Because really, Pontaff didn’t set the bar high to begin with, and Flynn has more than a decade under his belt repeating the same writing mistakes, to the point that the recent Sonic Encyclo-speed-ia is filled with errors regarding continuity and game events...and if we speculate that Ian probably did this on purpose to fit his headcanons into the canon, then it’s even worse. I find it very ironic that the fandom preaches about not accepting mediocrity in Sonic, and yet it lowered its standards so much that they’re happy to have consistently mediocre writing because ‘’It’s better than Pontaff’’. If the characters are going to be bent whenever the writer sees it fit, then Pontaff and Flynn are interchangable, the only difference is that the later’s writing pretends better to be IC.

Am I really supposed to be hyped about the games’ writing resembling this in the future?

Please bring Maekawa or Nishiyama back instead.

On a side note, Ian writing for the games also worries me in the long run because it means that now he has a more direct influence on the canon, and considering what I just mentioned that’s far from a good thing. Because if Ian doesn’t care about bending the canon if it suits whatever he’s writing at the moment, the results will be incosistencies that will slowly but surely pile on each other until it becomes obvious and I certainly don’t like the sound of that.

I know I’ve been pretty harsh with Ian Flynn but really, I’m just tired of his influence on the franchise as of late. And regardless of the fact that I’m tired of Sonic having western writing, I would be more open minded if not only Ian actually tried to improve from his trademark writing mistakes, but also if his fans stopped excusing every controversial take or writing choice he does, specially considering that apparently he can only do wrong when SEGA is involved according to them.

I don’t think he’s a bad writer per se, but I would definitely take anyone else over him to write for the actual canon games.

Anyway, I hope the actual plot of this game is not another Eggman getting upstaged story, but if it turns out only minor details revealed to us were innacurate, then my grievances still stand. I just hope Frontiers at the very least turns out to be a good enough game to make up for the potential problems its writing might have.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic frontiers #opinion

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pyrrhiccomedy · 3 years

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the People have requested my book report on The Library at Mt. Char so this is now a Mt Char book club.

if you have not read The Library at Mt Char there is no reason to keep reading. I hope you're having a nice day, stay safe and don't do drugs.

So Mt Char has a couple of problems, but in my opinion only one grave problem.

Not a grave problem:

Erwin doesn't need to be in this book. An astonishing amount of ink is spilled on giving us Erwin's POV and I am at a loss in regards to what that's supposed to bring to the story. I mean, it's kind of neat to see Carolyn's "trick shot" from the POV of one of the people being manipulated, but that perspective could have just been provided by Steve. Everything Erwin does of any plot significance could have been done by Steve, a character who actually matters.

Please note that I don't hate Erwin, he's perfectly fine as characters go, he just contributes nothing, and it is baffling that he and Carolyn get the last scene in the book (instead of just ending on her reunion with Michael, a scene that was emotionally affecting and felt like a natural end point to her story). We are taking no questions, Erwin needed to be cut.

Also not a grave problem in my opinion, but I am sure others feel differently and I understand why they would:

Yo, the scope of what the catalogs cover is mad vague. I mean, I get that that's the point: when you have a character whose magic powers are "anything that has to do with death or murder," that's a broad license, and I'm fine with that. These are supposed to be demi-gods. I don't require a rigorously explicated magic system.

But then like...why can't Jennifer, the healer, also heal minds? That seems weird. Or like, it's implied that she kinda can, maybe, but none of the kids talk about their therapy sessions with Jennifer: they explicitly call out that she heals their bodies. But then she talks about how Margaret and David are sick (meaning mentally) in a way she can "no longer help?" Aren't you supposed to be the God Of Healing? Why can't you help anymore? And were you actually trying to help them before - or anyone else? That's never shown. You could have just said you only healed bodies, not minds, but then it's repeatedly implied that she CAN diagnose mental and emotional problems (and therefore should probably be able to do something about them).

So that's weird.

Or like, why is there Alicia, who "sees the future," and Rachel, who "sees possible futures?" That, uh, just sounds like the author was running out of ideas. Also, if Alicia could see the future, she probably shouldn't have been in that house when the SWAT team hit, yeah?

Stuff like that. The magic the kids can do is very "they have the powers the author needs them to have when the author needs them to have them, and they can't do anything the author would find inconvenient for them to do" but that's not a deal breaker for me because overall the vibe being put off by their various magical specialties works for me. Still, there were ways of getting us where we needed to go without begging quite so many questions.

Also not a grave problem, although more of a problem than the other stuff:

You know that anime trope where a super-genius character is having an entire conversation with another super-genius character through a screen, and it's revealed that the whole conversation was a distraction and pre-recorded so that Character 2 could Complete His Scheme against Character 1? And used his super-genius brain to predict every single thing Character 1 would say? And your suspension of disbelief staggers bloodied into the alleyway and collapses because you're really trying to hang in there, Code Geass, but that's fucking stupid, you're asking for me to believe that this character's intelligence is flat-out supernatural now and you've given me no reason why that should be?

That's how I feel about Carolyn, by the time she takes over the Library. Like, okay. The kids canonically have not even been at the Library long enough for any of them to master their catalogues except for Jennifer. None of them but Jennifer are masters of even their own subject.

Carolyn has been studying in secret from multiple catalogues - which is cool! I like how she slowly reveals over the course of the latter half of the book that she has powers from other people's specialties.

...But like...

She seems close to mastering her own catalogue. She is a competent healer and can raise the dead (Jennifer's catalogue). She can block attempts to read her mind, beats David in a fight, and understands how to kill Father (David's catalogue). She speaks lion and controls the dogs that surround the Library (Michael's catalogue). She could make the mathy "Denial That Rends" thing that kicks off the whole plot, and she can make a new sun and correct orbital rotations around it (Peter's catalogue). She can predict the future with such specificity that she knows how to cause Steve to drop a clip of bullets while he's being attacked by dogs exactly where Erwin will need to pick it up later (Rachel's catalogue, also this one is stupid, she could have just given Erwin an extra clip or something, but whatever).

That's half the catalogues. Carolyn doesn't seem prodigiously more intelligent than the other kids. She's smart, sure, but they're all weird demi-gods with a genius for their specialties. The rest of them haven't even mastered their own catalogue, and I'm supposed to swallow that Carolyn has attained 'competent or better' status in six? When she has to research five of them in secret? Without falling behind in her own studies?

It would be fine if they had all been masters of their own catalogues for years and years; that would mean they would begin to stagnate, while Carolyn kept learning. But that's not the case. By the end I wasn't impressed anymore at Carolyn's resourcefulness, it just felt like she could do anything and everything, shh, don't ask questions, she's the Chosen One so she just can.

The reason this isn't a grave problem to me is because Carolyn's journey isn't about becoming more powerful: it's about her emotional journey, which isn't affected by her being stupidly OP for no reason by the end of the book. She still sucked at the things that mattered, like "feelings" and "relationships" and "not being a shitty person." But I do think it hurt the story. I should be cheering on my protagonist when her wild schemes come together, not rolling my eyes.

Anyway. All that was the aperitif. Let's talk about

THE GRAVE AND GLARING PROBLEM AT THE CENTER OF MT CHAR.

So everything that happens in the book stems from Carolyn's thoroughly justified hatred of Father (and David, but David was made that way by Father). Father treated her, and all of the other kids, with extravagant cruelty. If you haven't read the book in a while, here's a sample of the kinds of things Father did to the kids, or, if David did them, that Father did nothing to prevent:

- Cooked David alive over 2 full days in a giant bronze bull (and made the rest of the kids bring the fuel)

- Put Michael's eyes out with a hot poker every night for 2 weeks (and made the rest of the kids watch)

- Murdered Margaret every few days, often in drawn-out and painful ways

- Made Rachel repeatedly give birth, raise the babies to about 9 months, then murder them with her own hands

- Allowed David to rape all 11 of the other kids (except Jennifer, probably because she was the healer and he wanted to stay on her good side)

- Allowed David to crucify, brutalize and rape Carolyn and Peter

- Gave Carolyn a loving new family for a year when she was nine years old (those two deer), then had David murder them in front of her and blame it on her for not remembering her homework well enough, then served the two deer at a feast to 'celebrate' her returning to the family

- Whippings, skinnings, and bone-breakings as standard disciplinary actions

Whoo-ee! Okay! We are talking about mythological cruelty. I am fine with this! The story takes place on a mythological scale. As outlandish as all of that is, the cruelty feels proportionate in a story about killing and replacing god. Father is cruel, indifferent, controlling, and alien. I have no questions, Carolyn please proceed with your revenge. We seemed on track for a tale in which Carolyn defeats Father, but in doing so she runs the risk of becoming him. Will she step back from the brink and retain her humanity after all of the trauma and brutality she's endured? Let's find out!

And then

and then.

Oh boy.

And then.

...It turns out, Father is a good guy after all.

And let me be clear: THIS IS NOT, IN AND OF ITSELF, A PROBLEM.

By the time you learn that Father is actually benevolent, and loved those kids, and cares about being a responsible steward to the world, and tried to leave the universe a better place than he found it, and genuinely regretted the suffering he inflicted on them when they were growing up, it feels kind of...natural? Like, I was surprised, but also not, because there were 90 pages of book left and Carolyn had already become god. This seemed like a thematically meaningful place to take the rest of the story.

It turns out Father was training Carolyn to replace him the entire time. He had to make her hate David because it was important that she "defeat a monster" on her path to becoming god. (It's not explained why she had to defeat a monster, but sure, okay; it's the kind of mythic feat that fits with the story we're in.)

Why did he choose Carolyn to be his successor? Well, originally he chose David, but David wasn't strong enough: every time Carolyn was the monster in David's story, she defeated him, and went on to rule the universe as an unspeakable tyrant. Since Carolyn always won, Father swapped their roles. He knew he had made the right choice when he put David into the bronze bull, and heard David begging for mercy: because when Carolyn had been the fated monster, she had never begged.

...Okay, so...hang on.

Hang on.

The only rule that we've established on "how to become god" is "you have to defeat a monster," right? I'll even grant you for free that it has to be a monster who is personally meaningful to you, although that part is never stated. Overcoming a great evil which has cast you down and abused you many times before, sure, okay.

...Why the FUCK did all that other awful shit have to happen??

I did not have this question when Father was just evil! That was a good enough explanation! But now that he's not evil, you HAVE TO EXPLAIN why he treated all of the kids so brutally!

Like dude you're GOD. If you need a monster for Carolyn, I'm sure you can make that happen without TORTURING CHILDREN FOR DECADES.

There didn't even need to be any other children! You could have two kids: the languages-kid, who is the chosen one (the chosen one has to be the languages-kid so they can read the Onyx Codex or whatever it was called at the end, the one written by Original God), and the war-and-murder kid, who is the monster. They could have just been forbidden to read the other codices, if it's important to you that your chosen one still prove her resourcefulness or whatever.

Why include all of the other kids??? It wasn't to give your chosen one a sense of family: Carolyn didn't feel close to any of them except for Michael (who I liked, but whose contribution to the plot was negligible).

Or keep the kids! But then why make them, and Carolyn, hate you?? You could just say, "Hey Carolyn, I am raising you to be my successor, you have to figure it out yourself because part of proving your worthiness is this kind of abstract, big-picture thinking, but I love you and whatever you end up deciding to do, just believe in yourself." And meanwhile you're off torturing the fated monster in order to get him piping hot and ready to be served.

Was the idea that Carolyn had to endure so much horror in order to prove she was 'tough enough' to be god?? Because that's not how trauma works! Kids who have been brutally traumatized are usually not made tougher by the experience! A fact that even the book understands, because 10 of the 12 kids are completely destroyed by their upbringing (I'm giving marginal exceptions to Michael and Carolyn herself).

And like

if Father doesn't have a good reason for having treated them so badly, the whole book falls apart!

Because getting revenge for that cruelty is Carolyn's whole motivation!

We are clearly supposed to feel okay about Father going to make a new universe at the end of the book: he's going with his cool tiger friend and that little girl with the connection to the elemental plane of joy who used to be the sun, he's happy to see Carolyn embracing compassion and kindness, which means he cares about compassion and kindness. He invented light and pleasure. Carolyn does nothing to try to stop him from going. He seems like a pretty good candidate for god. And I do feel okay with him leaving! I was convinced! Father is not evil after all!

But then you have! to explain! the abuse!!

It can be a throwaway line!! "Carolyn realized that everything she and her siblings went through had to happen the way it did, because [X]," embedded in the middle of a paragraph! That would have been enough! But I need an explanation!

"They were raised the way Father was raised himself" WHY? He was raised by the Emperor, an on-the-record awful fucking dude! Father proceeded to rule the universe in a far more benevolent way than the Emperor did, why would he feel like he had to raise his kids the way the Emperor raised him?

"Carolyn needed to overcome challenges on her path to godhood" how is TRAUMATIZING HER SO BADLY SHE ALMOST BECOMES INHUMAN - SOMETHING YOU WERE OSTENSIBLY TRYING TO PREVENT, see Steve being preserved as something that could give her hope, etc - A "CHALLENGE??"

Again, none of this is a problem if Father is just evil! YOU CHOSE to make him not evil! And that's fine!! I think it's a good choice for the story actually!! But then you have to, you have to, HAVE TO explain why all of that bad shit happened!

Because all of that bad shit is the reason Carolyn made there be a story.

And it turns out it doesn't make sense.

#the library at mount char

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 3 years

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Insight ~ J.M.

Request: “... jack morton x male reader and instead of Vera taking the potion to stop the sons of Prometheus from killing jack the reader takes it and he’s had a super hard life to (Vera son if you want because I totally agree with that other post) and while people are going through his pain and memories jack sees the readers crush on him and he teases him about it...” by anon

MASTERLIST

Two words.

All Y/n had to do was say two words, and the entire quart yard took a collective gasp. Even Vera slowly looked over to her son, eyes wide and watery.

Vera had always struggled to have kids. After she’d had her daughter, it had been a miracle. The relationship she’d had her from, Vera didn’t like to talk about, as most of her relationships were. So when her little girl had begged and begged and begged for a siblings, Vera’s only option had been adoption. The two had gone together to meet people and look into children. It had taken a while, because Vera’s daughter had been as picky and precise as Vera was. When they’d found Y/n though, there was an immediate connection. He was quiet and distant and reserved. The little girl had made a joke about how the little boy was just like her mommy, and then a few months later he was in their home and supposed to be part of their family.

Vera and Y/n had never talked about Y/n’s past. The boy had clammed up and shut down every time it was mentioned, so Vera had learned very quickly that it was off limits. She had allowed him to find the time to come to her if he ever wanted to, and allowed him to just be her son. His past didn’t matter - she was his family now. After her daughter and his sister died, they bonded over the lost and clung to each other even more. What were past hardships when they had things to worry about right in front of them? It just hadn’t mattered.

Until now.

The years before the Stones were the worst years. Vera had always thought herself a terrible mom, but when she looked into Y/n’s mind and saw the years before, she realized why he always thought so highly of her and defended her to his dying breath. She saw himself in his eyes. A savior.

One he had betrayed.

Vera still remembered the day her children had been playing without him, and Y/n had offered his sister food from his lunch because she was still hungry. He’d just started opening up, and was a very light hearted, pleasant child. He had just started to really soften and warm up and it was so nice to see it.

To be fair, he hadn’t known she was allergic to peanuts, and he hadn’t known about epi pens, let alone how to use one.

It wasn’t his fault.

He had still never forgiven himself.

All of these things roiled around in the minds of every single person who was in that courtyard and they all looked Y/n and for once each eye that met his saw past all of his guards and protections and through his carefully constructed mask to the boy underneath. The scared, lonely who had only ever hurt any person he’d gotten close to. The child who just wanted love and safety, but believed in his bones he was cursed to experience nothing but suffering. If he had to bring it, he would, because he was simply that bad. He never meant to, but he always would.

The guilt and self hate and hardships he’s endured an entire life time roiled inside each person, and one of the Sons of Prometheus looked at him and asked with a soft voice, “Hw do you bare it?”

He took an even breath. His eyes were watery and he fought tooth and nail to get the tears to go away. His heart was racing and his nails dug into his palm as he desperately tried to keep it together. “Because I have to,” was his response. And they all saw that in his mind, it was true. He had spent the last several years trying to make up for the struggle he brought wherever he went. Protecting Vera from all he could. Making everyone’s life as easy as he could. Working nearly to death to have everything in order and taken care of so everyone could depend on him. Even now he had taken the potion and said the spell that would shove all of the things he was most afraid to show anyone into the heads of the people whose opinion he most cared about. For Vera, so she wouldn’t have to.

But that wasn’t completely true was it?

“Jack’s in danger?” My voice came out much more even than I felt capable of delivering. Inside was a torrential storm. Hurricanes rammed against his skin from the inside, beating against his lungs and heart. tsunami of emotions pounded his stomach, making it twist and hurt. His entire body was aching, and all because he couldn’t get the image of Jack Morton being dead out of his head.

Who could stand the idea of the person they loved being in any kind of danger?

What would stop them from doing everything and anything necessary to save them?

He didn’t just have to do it because Vera needed him. He pushed himself harder so Alyssa was less stressed so that she and Jack could be together with more peace, and he did it because he loved Jack enough to sacrifice himself for their happiness.

He took the brunt of the memory wiping so the wolves would have someone to be mad at other than Vera and Alyssa. He did the hardest work and played the bad guy.

He played the bad guy so that everyone could so easily hate him, and he allowed it to happen to lessen hardship and conflict and struggle. He let his name be a curse and his existence be a regret because if you had someone to throw all your bad emotions at, then you could throw those emotions and be rid of them and move on.

Y/n took on every struggle to lessen the hardships of others, and he did it without complaint or hesitation or doubt.

Vera was the only person who really knew Y/n, and even she didn’t know this.

Turning attention from Y/n, Vera took charge. Y/n stood there, stone cold and put together on the outside as he always was even as he burned and screamed and thrashed on the inside. It didn’t matter that they all knew what he was feeling despite his efforts he was to afraid to SHOW how badly he felt. If he could look strong, people would respect him even more, especially knowing how much he hurt inside. Respect was all he had.

Other than disdain.

When it was over, Y/n didn’t wait for his mother, or the two students to catch up to him. Alyssa and Jack, of all people. The three people he probably cared about the most and hid the hardest from had just seen all of the things he had so long desperately tried to bury, and despite knowing he would have to face them eventually he got in his car and he drove. He had known that this would happen and had planned this by bringing his own ride, which had surprisingly been allowed with little problem.

He was determined to avoid every single person in that courtyard for as long as he could, even though he knew it wouldn’t be long until he had to face at least one of them.

Listen, he knew forever was out of the question, but he thought he’d get at least a day. A full 24 hours just maybe. Time to compose himself and for the spell to wear off and for him to push it all back down again and organize it like it usually was. Like he always did when he was upset, but this time with desperation because there were three people he was going to have to deal with regularly who knew he was lying through his teeth no matter how believably okay he looked.

He got ten hours before his mom found him.

Really, looking back, he shouldn’t have been surprised. She was the principal at his school. What did he expect?

“Y/n,” Vera began softly. She had a sort of edglessness to her in that moment, and it made Y/n shift. She was as guarded as he was, so to see her regret and pain and love written all over her face... maybe she only felt it fair since she’d seen all of him, that he was allowed to see all of her.

“You don’t have to do this,” Y/n rushed, wanting to bolt. “You really don’t have to. I know it wasn’t my fault. I know that you don’t approve of a lot of the things I do and feel and think. I know you see just how much I am exactly like you and you hate it because you wanted me to be so much happier. Better, for my own benefit. I know I could be an emotional mess and a failure and you’d be more relieved than seeing me be like this. I know how much that hurt you. I also know you hate being pitied, so I took that fall. Please, I hate being pitied too.”

She shook her head, approaching her son. “I don’t pity you, Y/n. I ache for you.” She pulled him into a hug and at first he just let her hug him, but then she didn’t pull away so he finally wrapped his arms around her. Once he hugged her, it was impossible not to melt into her touch. He felt the weight of years of hidden secrets melt off of him. He was glad that if he had to tell a bunch pf people the things he most wished to keep hidden, his mom was one of the people who had to be there. He was glad she knew. “I’m sorry. For your sake, I wished I’d been better at teaching you how to forgive yourself.”

That was fair. “You were too busy teaching me how to do everything else. And without you, I wouldn’t have made it very long.” He squeezed her, burying his face in her neck. “I’m so lucky to have you as a mom. I’m so, SO lucky. I’m... I’m sorry for- I know it’s not my fault but-” And there were the tears.

“It’s okay,” Vera soothed. “It’s okay.”

They stayed there for a while, until Y/ finally cried and then calmed down. They separated and Vera touched his cheek. She gave him the saddest smile and he returned a watery one back. They stayed in her office until Y/n was ready to face people again, and as he left the room he felt a lot better than he’d expected to.

Maybe he’d been wrong about this whole confessions and emotions thing.

His mind changed pretty quickly when two days later he was faced with Alyssa Drake. He expected her to hate him. After all, they’d never gotten along. Alyssa was one of the very many people who thought Y/n was a shitty person. She’d always been clear that she thought he was the worst the Order had to offer. After years of coming nowhere near even getting along or being civil, she had seen into his mind and saw that everything she knew about him was a lie, and that on top of all of that, he was in love with her boyfriend.

Despite all the reasons he was sure she had to loath him, what he got from her when they were stuck on the same duty together was a small smile and a warm greeting. “Hey.”

He treaded carefully. “Hello.”

After a moment, she casually continued, “How have you been?”

Y/n wasn’t about to shut her down. He had no reason to be a jackass to her, and now that Alyssa thought about it, he’d never actually been a rude person. He’d just taken the blame and never corrected assumptions. Even now, when she knew how terrified he was and how much he wanted to be anywhere but with her, having any sort of conversation, he was still considerate and polite enough to respond to her and respond to her in case she needed closure about anything.

“Well enough, considering,” was Y/n’s response.

Alyssa nodded. The conversation was almost between two friends, which was so incredibly bizarre that other members of the Order looked at the two and seemed to be absolutely bewildered. After all they’d seen and the impossible they’d faced, Alyssa Drake and Y/n Stone exchanging friendly small talk was the thing they couldn’t handle. Y/n noticed it and wondered what theories were going around in peoples’ heads. Alyssa just ingored them.

Instead, rather out of nowhere, she mentioned very lightly, “You’re supposed to ask how I’ve been now.” Her eyes twinkled with a sort of light teasing mood, and Y/n almost smiled.

Y/n Stone almost smiled.

“How have you been, Alyssa?”

“Very good, thank you for asking. Jack and I broke everything off officially, after a really long talk. That was hard. But it was a lot better for both of us in the long term. We’ve been struggling since the beginning, and after all we’ve been through it’s time to stop trying for something that’s only going to hurt us. you know?” She smiled at the way Y/n went rigid. “There are options out there for both of us. I think for now I just want to take some time for myself. I have a lot going on, and it’ll be nice to take a breather and not worry about what the hell is going wrong with me and Jack this time.”

Y/n nodded, trying to seem collected even as he was wound tightly. “Are you guys going to stay friends?”

“No,” Alyssa answered. “Not- for now, I mean. We actually both handled the whole break up a lot better than we thought, but we still need time to separate ourselves from each other before we could ever get to being just friends. We did talk about having like weekly check ins, maybe. Because we do still care for each other, and the idea of just disappearing from each others’ lives would suck. But I mean he’s got a lot of issues with me after the whole memory thing that he needs to come to terms with, and it’s been months where he didn’t even know who I was. Months that I had to see him with someone else every day. Eventually I got used to the idea that we weren’t together anymore. Trying to make it now is trying to put something far beyond fixing together again. It just doesn’t work anymore.”

This time when Y/n nodded, it was a lot smoother. “That makes sense.” He looked at her directly. “And you’re doing this because of those reasons and nothing else?”

She met his eyes without stepping down. Not many people could do that. “I’m not going to lie to you, Y/n. I told you, we both have better options for us out there. We had a long talk, and it didn’t come out of nowhere. It was triggered by something. But that’s all. Just because something starts something, doesn’t mean that something is the reason it ends.”

Fair enough. It was something he could accept. He had the opinion that they were bad for each other anyway, and they’d probably seen that. All the many hours Y/n had wondered why they even bothered after everything. The annoyances and doubts he’d had, not because he thought he had a chance with Jack, but because he saw how much they were both suffering and thought they deserved better. They’d both seen those thoughts and recognized them as having merit. Despite emotional idiocy, Y/n was very smart. His sense had been just what they needed to see that it really was pointless. At this point they were just hurting each other, and what was the point of love if it hurt?

Y/n wouldn’t argue with a decision he agreed with.

He would however argue if Jack tried to make a move on him, because he was absolutely not down to be a rebound or pity dated or whatever reason Jack Morton might find interest in Y/n Stone now that Y/n’s feelings were out in the open and Jack was single.

The rets of the night Y/n and Alyssa were silent. It was a comfortable silence, but Y/n had a lot on his mind and Alyssa seemed to sense that. He was appreciative for her not pressing her, and he was beginning to think she might know that better than he wanted her to.

Y/n saw Jack from a distance a few times for the next few weeks. He kept expecting Jack to approach him, but it never happened. It took a few times before Jack even acknowledged Y/n being there at all. When Y/n stopped immediately looking away and then looking back to see if Jack was still looking, or just running away altogether, Jack started smiling at him. When they found each other doing something together for any reason, Jack was perfectly polite and never seemed to flirt or mention Y/n’s feelings or his break up with Alyssa.

It was like Sons of Prometheus had never happened, aside from the fact that Jack and Alyssa were nice to him now and would shut people up if they talked bad about Y/n around them. Which was a major shock for everyone, including Y/n, but also had absolutely not been what Y/n had expected. He’d been gearing himself up for them to use it against him at first, getting revenge for all the things they were mad at him for. After the conversation with Alyssa, he’d expected to have to deal with Jack trying to use Y/n as a rebound. Neither happened.

A month later, Jack finally talked to Y/n. It was in a completely normal setting, where they’d both been getting lunch and Jack had asked to sit with him. Y/n had agreed, intrigued by what was going through Jack’s head. When the other man just made small talk, Y/n finally snapped. “What’s your deal?”

Jack rose an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Y/n thought about his words carefully. He rarely lost his cool or talked without meaning to. His anxiety was getting to him more than he’d realized. He didn’t know how to ask Jack about that day and his reaction to Y/n’s feelings for him without actually bringing up said feelings. His eyes fell to his food. He realized he was glaring, but couldn’t force his face to smooth out like he normally could. Finally he looked back up at Jack, who he realized had stilled, waiting patiently for Y/n to collect his thoughts. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why you and Alyssa are being friends with me.”

“Why?” Jack asked casually, returning to his food. “Because you’re in love with me?”

Slamming his fork down, Y/n leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t say it out loud like it doesn’t mean anything.” He felt suddenly very vulnerable and defensive. For the first time since his sister had died, someone really knew how he felt. They knew the real him, past lies and what he wanted people to see when they looked at him. Except this time he didn’t know what they were feeling or thinking - not even in the slightest. He absolutely hated it.

Jack focused on his food for a few seconds, but he didn’t take a bite. “Y/n...” He looked up, but this time his face wasn’t a sort of detached amusement, it was full of conflict and hesitation. “Alyssa told me about what she said to you.”

Y/n’s jaw worked. “Has anything changed since then?” His voice was a lot more quiet and full of hope than he wanted it to be. Crap! He wasn’t supposed to be like this! He wasn’t supposed to be the one excited for this change. He was supposed to be strong and ready to turn down Jack, because Jack needed to think about himself before he just humped into a new relationship. And yet here they were, and Jack hadn’t mentioned any interest in Y/n once, and Y/n was the one who was still pining.

Shaking his head, Jack didn’t seem to pick up on Y/n’s silent, accidental plea. There was something he wasn’t saying though and Y/n shifted, suddenly very nervous. Was he about to get shot down? Was Jack about to make it so very clear that they could only ever be what they were now? Pleasant acquaintances, where one of them were in love with the other, but the other could never feel the same. Jack seemed to look into Y/n’s eyes and see those thoughts, and he seemed to... smile.

“You know, everyone always thinks that me and Alyssa were in love the first time we looked at each other.” His smile grew, amusement dancing across his features. “That we were each other’s first option, from the very beginning.”

That surprised Y/n. “You weren’t?”

Jack shook his head. “You were my first option.” Y/n went solid, his eyes widening. He looked like a shocked statue, frozen forever in perpetual stunned silence. When it didn’t seem he was going to recover anytime soon, Jack continued speaking. “I was on a tour with her when I saw you. Alyssa noticed the way I looked at you and laughed at me. AT the time, I knew a LOT more about the school than her because my grandpa had taught me about it, in preparation for getting into the Order. You remember the whole thing between me and Coventry.” Y/n nodded. “She made some comment about how I didn’t know EVERYTHING about this school, because I was showing her up and she wanted to knock me down a peg. Told me she dared me to ask you out, and had this really smug look on her face.” He chuckled at the memory. “Well, easy to say that when she was helpful and helped me join the Order - as much as she’ll refuse to admit it - it was a pretty easy pick between the pretty girl who had been so nice to me, and the really hot guy who seemed to be a total dick.”

Y/n blushed. “You’re so full of shit,” he accused.”

A grin light up Jack’s face. “I’m absolutely not.” An unsure smile rose to Y/n’s face as well. He picked up his fork, busying himself with his food as Jack picked up the story again. “I was becoming a tree that day.” His face turned odd, like a mix of horror and disbelief. Jack seemed to be having a hard time believing it had happened, even though he’d been there. “Me and Alyssa were already talking about breaking up. Things between us had already gotten so convoluted, and she had never really gotten over my attraction to you. Among with other things, of course. That day, she chose the Promethians instead of me. I would have been able to get over it if she hadn’t tried to destroy our entire relationship to get her magic back. Like I understand how much her magic means to her but...” His smile had vanished and Y/n hurt for the boy.

He’d never cared as much about magic as his mother did, but watching her had made him understand the worth of it to others. To prioritize that over someone you’re supposed to be in love with though... that had to hurt. “I’m sorry.”

Jack shrugged it off. “It’s fine. It just really proved to me that we were done, and had been for a while. We could have made it if my memory hadn’t been wiped, maybe. If we weren’t on two so very different paths. If no matter how hard I tried she was just ALWAYS out of my reach.” He looked at Y/n. “If she hadn’t been right about me still liking you after all this time.”

Y/n felt his heart begin to race. “How the hell do you like me? You said yourself, I was a total asshole.”

Nodding, Jack seemed to agree at first, even as a smile curved his lips upward again. “You’re a really good actor, Y/n. But every actor has their weak moments, and every person makes mistakes. You aren’t as rock solid as you think you are. I saw the way you looked at my friends. Like you wanted to protect them. And how you took credit for things that were absolutely not your fault. I kept saying it was just to move on and get it over with... I dismissed everything you did that showed how kind you are, until Vera said something when she called us out for having our memories back that caught my attention. He said that we couldn’t mess up. That more than our reputations were on the line. Randall replied about how we didn’t care about her reputation but she said it wasn’t hers she was worried about.” Y/n suddenly couldn’t look at Jack, and that seemed it was all that was needed to confirm whatever theory had been bouncing around. “I’ve only ever seen Vera Stone prioritize one thing over her own judgement. I know she liked us, but you said something to her to get her to be lenient with us, didn’t you?”

A shrug was all Jack got at first, but when the silence stretched, Y/n sighed and finally admitted, “Yeah, I did. I told her I trusted your capabilities. I-” He swallowed. “I told her that I couldn’t let you die.”

“You told her you were in love with me,” Jack added. Y/n nodded. Jack chuckled and Y/n rose an eyebrow. “I’m that irresistible, huh?”

The tension shattered and both of them started a soft giggle. “Look who’s talking, Mr. I Fell Because I Saw You Once.” Jack rolled his eyes at that, but both of them did grow into full laughter. They thought about the several times both of them could have been so much happier with each other but were too busy creating an image or fighting a losing battle or believing everything they heard instead of getting to know the other person instead. “I’m an idiot,” Y/n sighed when they calmed down.

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “So am I. Wanna go on a date with me?”

Y/n grinned. “You free on Saturday?”

#Jack Morton #the order of the hermedic blue rose #the knights of saint Christopher #the order #male reader #Jack Morton imagine #jack morton x male reader #jack morton x reader #the order x reader #the order imagine #the order of the hermedic blue rose x reader #the knights of saint christopher x male reader #the knights of saint christopher imagine

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gch1995 · 3 years

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OMG! I’m watching the 2016 PPG reboot on reboot to make fun of its awfulness by comparing it to the far superior OG cartoon from 98’-05 version, and I just got finished watching the atrocious episode “Musclecup.” I know the girls are supposed to be very precocious for kindergarteners-first graders, and I know that Buttercup is the “toughest fighter.” However, I still am in awe at the sheer stupidity of the writers of this episode, who thought it would be a “genius” idea to write a storyline in which Buttercup, a super-powered little girl in the first grade, actually gets addicted to steroids because she wants to bulk up her muscles!

First of all, Buttercup is a child, so this storyline feels gross and unnecessary, even if she is the “toughest fighter?”

Secondly, it doesn’t even make any sense as to why Buttercup thinks she needs to bulk up her muscles to a beef-cake level since she was born with superhuman strength that easily allows her to overpower the average person, anyway.

Thirdly, it’s annoying that Blossom and Bubbles are yet again rendered to be completely helpless and ineffectual by the writers together against one villain together without Buttercup, the brash and brawny tomboy, there to swoop in and save them. I know I’ve complained about Buttercup occasionally getting the short end of the stick when she had centrics the OG cartoon in which she was either getting into trouble, getting punished, getting double standards, and/or suffering exceedingly and/or unfairly with the world getting turned against her, sometimes to the point of needlessly mean-spirited overkill of character derailment for either her and/or other characters in the episode she cared about. Yeah, the writers not knowing how to write Buttercup centrics where she was framed in a positive light, being treated fairly, and/or granted the same individual compassion and emotional support of her loved ones that she normally had otherwise, and that her sisters were granted individually in their centrics when they were in the wrong or feeling down, was an occasionally recurring flaw in the writing on an overall great show that started showing up sometime in her centrics in S2.

However, in the 2016 reboot, the writers seemed to have overcorrected the writing flaw of Buttercup’s occasional designated butt-monkey status in the OG cartoon by turning her into the main character Mary Sue of the show, who gets the most centrics, and who does all the saving by herself without the other two girls most of the time. In the reboot, this now has created a new problem of diminishing Blossom’s and Bubbles’ individual strengths and relevance in the story.

Not to mention the fact that reboot!Buttercup’s personality is pretty shitty. In the OG cartoon, she was generally portrayed as a jerk with a heart of gold. Here in the reboot, she’s been flanderdized into an openly arrogant, crude, exceedingly aggressive, disrespectful, loud-mouthed, mean-spirited, obnoxious, petty, nonchalant, and selfish brat. She disrespects Ms. Keane and mocks her when she’s teaching a grammar lesson to be a class clown in “Painbow.” In “Professor-Proofed” she gets her dad hurt by causing him to lose focus, sneeze, and get hurt when he’s working in his lab with a dangerous chemical by peppering her pancakes right in front of him, then doesn’t ever apologize to him for it, and even ends the episode doing it again with an evil smirk on her face right in front of him, causing him to get hurt all over again after sneezing when the pepper goes up his nose. She tries to steal one of Bubbles pigtails in an attempt to catch a crawdad in “ClawDad,” and didn’t apologize. In “Little Octi-Lost,” she steals Octi from Bubbles in the dead of night when they are all asleep to “teach her a lesson” for being so into it, which isn’t a good reason at all, then realizes she wants to go play with Octi herself, takes him to a state fair, and then tries to cover it up when she loses him, rather than tell the truth. In the episode “Man Up” she violently blows up in an aggressive rage, recklessly destroys an entire state fair, and accidentally gives Bubbles a black eye all because a villain calls her “princess,” and she hates being called that. The moral of the episode was supposed to be learning to temper her aggression, but unlike in the OG Buttercup centric, “Makes Zen To Me,” the lesson doesn’t actually end up sticking with Buttercup at all, and she ends the episode reverting back to being an overly aggressive and obnoxious jerk because “status quo is comedy gold.”

Granted, out of the three girls in the OG cartoon, Buttercup did have the greatest tendency to be the most aggressive fighter with the greatest instigator and rebel tendencies, and she had some ooc instances of suddenly being a very uncharacteristically greedy, sadistic, and remorseless jerk than usual to fit certain contrived plots in bad episodes, such as “Moral Decay,” though almost everyone in the fandom despises that segment the most of the OG series and pretends it never happened because it was such ridiculously out of character and mean-spirited derailing writing for both Buttercup and her entire family in order to turn her into the villain and punish her harshly in ways that didn’t feel fair or make any sense.

However, generally, og Buttercup genuinely did have the heart of a hero and love her family more than anything. While she did have trouble apologizing to Elmer for teasing him in “Paste Makes Waste,” she genuinely did still feel bad about it, even if she had some trouble apologizing for it, and she did learn to swallow her pride and do it at the end. She and Blossom tended to argue a lot because they both were very stubborn people, who had trouble making compromises, and admitting to it when they were wrong, and she liked to mess with Bubbles the most. However, she generally hated seeing either of her sisters getting hurt, and she was always quick to defend them in battles against threats. She generally felt bad about hurting her sisters, and apologized all the time.

Buttercup occasionally got irritated when the Professor became a doting, sentimental, and overprotective Dad™️ with her and/or her sisters in the OG cartoon in episodes like “Uh Oh, Dynamo,” “Mr. Mojo’s Rising,” “PowerProf.,” and “Oops I Did It Again,” especially because she didn’t like to be doted on. She got in trouble with the Professor more than her sisters, partially because she was genuinely caught being disobedient, making bad choices, or instigating fights with her sisters by him more often than they were, but also partly because the writers dealt her an unfair hand in the world in her centrics since they liked turning her into the designated butt monkey when she got in trouble in them in a couple of instances, such as “Moral Decay” and “Down ‘n’ Dirty.” However, even at her worst and most OOC, she would never have tried to deliberately hurt her dad for shits and giggles like she did in reboot episode “Professor-Proofed.” She and her sisters also never would have deliberately sabotaged one of the Professor’s romances for their own benefit because they wanted him to be happy in the OG cartoon.

Fourthly, I know he’s not in the episode, but if the girls are this irresponsible and stupid in the reboot, then why would Professor Utonium ever think to trust them to stay at home alone, while he goes to work for the day? Oh, right...It’s because he’s also been reduced to an idiotic, incompetent, irresponsible, neglectful, reckless, and selfish parent 9 out of ten times in the reboot, who has little to no knowledge of how to actually be a good parent at all, and usually only appears to make things worse whenever he does appear anyway by being a cliche and mostly unfunny bumbling bad sitcom dad. In the OG cartoon, it’s different because the girls are mature enough to handle staying by themselves for a few hours, even while he’s out at work, though he got babysitters for them when he was out at night to be safe, but in this reboot version, the girls shouldn’t be trusted to stay at home alone by him.

Finally, that’s the other issue in the reboot. All of the adults are morons who have no common sense most of the time. The writers really expect me to believe that an adult would be totally okay with giving a little girl steroids without any thought to just how gross and unethical that is? Yeah, I know it’s a cartoon, and even in the OG cartoon, the city of Townsville were complete idiots at times to fit certain plots, but I don’t believe any of them would actually ever be stupid and unethical enough to give steroids to a little girl with superpowers to help her bulk up her muscles, especially not without warning her first about how it could be dangerous.

#anti PPG 2016 reboot #ep: musclecup #I can’t believe they actually did a storyline about a superpowered first grader getting hooked on steroids!#the classic PPG wasn’t always a good show but overall it was a really great cartoon #they have completely turned buttercup into an obnoxious tomboy Mary Sue in the reboot #granted they’ve ruined all of the girls in the reboot but I’m focusing on buttercup in particular here #they completely ruined buttercup’s personality in the reboot!#buttercup utonium #bubbles utonium #blossom utonium

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moontheoretist · 3 years

Text

I lowkey wish for a rewrite of MCU in which all slavic villains get a chance to not die and make peace with heroes if it’s possible. Like for example, let’s save Ivan and Pietro from death.

Ivan was grieving death of his father and the fate of his family, which was a sole responsibility of Howard Stark. Yes, maybe Ivan wanted to sell Arc Reactor, but imagine being a Russian scientist who defected to American side during a Cold War. Americans hate you due to propaganda against Russia, because Russia wasn’t a nice place, and we all know it, but even people who wanna do good suffer. Your family probably doesn’t have it nice there. Can your wife even get a job without being ostracized? Probably not, so you are the one and sole mouth feeder of your family and let’s face it, no matter on what you work and what you do, salary of a scientist isn’t that much, especially if you are an immigrant, who defected and is not seen as a hero for leaving the side of the enemy, because there is a slight possibility that you may come back to them and betray America. So his action to try and earn money from Arc Reactor probably made sense for his situation and Howard Starks move to literally ruin his family, deport them to Russia, which considering that Anton Vanko defected, were treated as traitors, ostracized and send to a friggin Siberia, to spend their life in isolation as some twisted punishment for not having anything for Russia after being kicked out to buy themselves a good treatment and possibly get back into good graces, was probably the most cruel move a person could do, and it affected whole family. So his pain is completely friggin normal and he should get a chance to work through it, to get his chance to survive the encounter with Tony. They could even friggin fucking bond over how shitty person Howard was, I don’t care, just let him live. Let him recognize what he did, let him atone for what he did to all those people who suffered when he was too busy crusading against Tony Stark. Just let him be seen as the human he is instead of the villain he becomes due to anger.

When it comes to Pietro he is an orphan, who grew up in an orphanage, and regardless if he and Wanda were adopted later or not, grew up to resent the outsiders because of US bombs falling somewhere they shouldn’t and ending with civilian casualties. The outsiders were literally a synonym to war and death, so it’s not weird that you grow up to radicalize yourself and only believe in your own country’s idea of freedom, which lowkey falls into all-right rhetoric about kicking out everybody who is foreign to you, especially those pesky Americans, to the point that when you get the chance to gain power to kick them out yourself and get revenge on a person which your misplaced anger targeted (because why should you look for some general who gave the order or the operator of the machine which bombed your house, when you can blame Tony Stark, due to him being more tangible and visible target than anybody else), you jump at it as if it was going to disappear in front of you, and join a Nazi organization, which definitely doesn’t talk you out of your misplaced resentment and is even happy that you hate Tony Stark so much, because they want him dead too. Then you gain superpowers, your sister probably learns you work for Hydra, or at least gets confirmation if you felt “this SHIELD here is fishy, but who cares” before, and you still don’t leave, because as long as you can get the revenge, which you think will give you closure, you are gonna help the bastards. And then you do your thing, fight the Avengers, give Tony Stark his PTSD vision level disaster, and your bastards suddenly disappear thanks to the AI they discovered and wanted Tony Stark to activate for some unknown reason (maybe they couldn’t trigger it, or it was part of a bigger plan, who knows, in the end they had bodies for Ultron prepared already) and you find yourself under a guidance of a robot slash AI, which turns out to want to annihilate humanity, because it saw too much evil online (dark net was probably too dark) and you finally completely logically decide to change sides, and then you promptly die saving an Avenger, because for some reason your super speed is not bulletproof anymore. Just, goddammit, Pietro deserved to live. He and Wanda deserved to have their own friggin movie or TV series after AoU, in which they atone for what they did to all those people who suffered loss due to their little playing with Hulk thing, and choose the path of redemption, become superheroes to “wipe the blood from their ledgers”, learn compassion towards others (meaning people who are not Sokovians, it is important to care about others too) and deradicalize themselves.

#mcu critical #antislavism #slavic representation #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #ivan vanko #anton vanko

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kbstories · 4 years

Text

impression//expression

"It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone."

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Post-Kamino Arc, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Kiri Has A Dog Because I Said So

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Content warning for anxiety attacks and discussions thereof. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

Kirishima comes to sunlight shining on his face and an armful of Bakugou.

It’s not a sudden jolt of consciousness that alerts him of this. His brain comes online one synapse at a time with how all-around cozy he is, bundled up in comfortably warm covers with Bakugou’s head nestled in the crook of his neck, his arm wrapped loosely around Kirishima’s waist. In actuality, Kirishima slept so well it’s legitimately hard to get himself to wake up beyond lazily squinting an eye against that bright glare.

Which is why his first move is to pull the blanket up higher and snuggle closer to his Bakugou-shaped pillow. Bakugou, for his part, breathes something between a mumble and a sigh and slumbers on.

Out like a light. He’s onto something there, Kirishima muses. For a while, he lets himself drift to the calm two-step beat of Bakugou’s heart keeping time against his chest, the gentle tickle of Bakugou’s hair under his chin. Blissful oblivion nips at the edges of his mind; his body can’t quite get there, though, that pesky bit of awareness clinging to existence despite his best efforts.

Urgh, fine.

Kirishima blinks with a little more purpose behind it. His vision is blurred from overall drowsiness and the murky half-dark the blanket provides. Bakugou is easy to make out regardless, face slack and close enough Kirishima can see the minute shift of blonde lashes as he snoozes. It’s the residue redness around his eyes that nudges Kirishima’s brain to wonder and think and remember–

Blue fire. Unread texts. The hospital, Kamino Ward, All Might. Bakugou.

All at once, the sight of Bakugou passed out in his arms is anything but a peaceful one. It’s intimate in a way Kirishima suddenly feels uncomfortable with, not because he doesn’t like it – in his educated opinion, any day starting with cuddling is good by default – but because Bakugou is the least touch-y person he knows and this is crossing so many lines. All the lines.

Lines drawn by unspoken rules and implicit understandings Kirishima learned by sheer trial and error. All those other times Bakugou let his guard down around him seem like peanuts compared to this.

But… Bakugou is resting. Catching up on untold amounts of missed sleep, looking far more relaxed than Kirishima could’ve hoped for. Perhaps it would’ve been better to ensure he makes it to his own bed instead of sharing the pull-out couch; perhaps Kirishima shouldn’t have pushed when things are so fresh. Kirishima’s hands ache to move from between Bakugou’s shoulders yet letting him go feels wrong, too.

It was far too easy, last time. To sit there and bicker in class while Bakugou faded from view, mere miles away.

The dread roiling within him is familiar, as are the maybes and what-ifs that accompany it. It returns like an old friend, the thought of losing him to people who mistake his violence for villainy, who disregard the good shining at Bakugou’s very core in favor of the hurt his hands can cause. The brightest star in the sky, burning, desperate to be seen, to be acknowledged.

It makes Kirishima restless, this feeling – like the air is growing thin and the ground is about to collapse beneath their feet, and it’s up to Kirishima to get them out of there. His blood thrums with the need to fight tooth and nail to keep whatever is causing it away, to shield Bakugou until the shaking stops and the debris settles.

Kirishima has failed Bakugou once already. Not again, never again–

“Think any harder an’ your brain’s gonna melt.”

Kirishima’s heart nearly stops, then jumps into overdrive. A hesitant glance proves that, yup, that’s Bakugou stirring, right there. Bleary-eyed and still far too soft around the edges but awake. Kirishima isn’t ready for this.

He’s also dead. Super dead. Buried-so-deep-nobody-will-ever-find-his-body dead.

He swallows, any sort of greeting escaping his mind except a quiet, “Oh.”

Bakugou yawns and rubs at his eye, a gesture made clumsy with sleepiness. “Mm?” He props himself up, a hand laid flat on Kirishima’s chest. “Calm down, will ya? Your heart’s goin’ like crazy.”

There are no words to describe how impossible that is right now. “Um”, Kirishima says intelligently, and: “Sorry.” A little sheepish, since he can’t exactly help what his heart does (or his brain, for that matter).

He is on the verge of panicking, Kirishima notes dimly. That realization alone does little to chase away the half-formulated doubts threatening to choke him, that inkling of fear that’s on the brink of spiraling out of control. A moment later, he has to consciously unclench his hardened hands from the back of Bakugou’s shirt, which–

Ah. That’s what woke him up.

“Shit. S-sorry, I–”

There’s a frown on Bakugou’s face as he sits up. “Nothing’s goin’ on”, he tells him, calm where Kirishima can’t be. “’s just my room.” Just as deliberate, the covers are pushed aside to allow cool air to flow into their private niche of the world. Everything’s so bright, so–

“Kiri? Hey. Give me your hands.”

It takes considerable effort to focus on Bakugou’s voice. “Whuh?”

“Your hands. Like this.”

Bakugou holds out his own, palm-up. Kirishima does the same, staring blankly at his trembling, rock-hewn fingers. When Bakugou holds his palm, it’s with a touch Kirishima can barely feel. “Focus on this”, a low murmur followed by pressure to the meat of Kirishima’s thumb, faint despite the bones in Bakugou’s wrist showing from the effort. Bakugou slides it upwards and to the webbing connecting to his index, marginally more giving.

“You’re okay. Just breathe. Focus, right here.”

The touch shifts again, down to his wrist. Kirishima lets him do whatever, watching with a detached sort of fascination as his quirk relents. Bakugou’s thumb brushes over the spot where Kirishima’s veins are becoming visible again, the skin there thin and delicate. He digs in, an inch or two from his hand.

It’s a little rougher than before. Not unpleasant, just unexpected, and Kirishima’s fingers twitch. Bakugou’s lips press together. He does it again, notably gentler. “You with me?”

Kirishima hums. The question registers a moment later and he nods for good measure. “Yeah, I– It helps. This.”

“Mh.” Bakugou gestures for his other arm; he starts from his wrist and goes up to his hand this time, eyes on what he’s doing. “Pressure points are useful shit. You got one here”, a pinch to that spot between thumb and index, “and here”, a tap to his wrist. “Works best if it’s someone else doing it but you can, too.”

That sounds vaguely familiar. Perhaps something that came up the last time he googled it? Panic attacks used to be much more of an thing for Kirishima – before he hair-dyed and bench-pressed Red Riot into something more real, more than a distant daydream. More than a scared kid with shitty self-esteem.

(Life’s been manageable, since. Chaotic and distressing in a host of other ways as it swings back and forth between joy and disaster like fate’s cruelest pendulum and actually, it might be a bit of a miracle it took this long for his anxiety to make a comeback.)

Memorizing any new info is beyond Kirishima right now; he strong-arms his braincells to hold onto the term ‘pressure point’, at least. And if Bakugou is sharing, Kirishima figures it’s only fair to share back.

“The one I know is like, deep breathing? And, um. Talking through it. Counting things you can sense. What you see, hear, smell, and so on. It’s just…”

“Hard to do that by yourself, yeah.”

By this point, Bakugou is just brushing his thumb along the lines on Kirishima’s palm and that feels really nice, too. The image of his hands clawing up worn fabric is hard to shake off, though, making Kirishima’s stomach churn with guilt.

“Sorry, man. For waking you up, I mean. And freaking out on you. I didn’t hurt you, right? You’d tell me if I hurt you.”

It’s meant to come out with confidence, because Kirishima trusts Bakugou. It’s trusting himself that's the problem, sometimes.

A groan, long-suffering. “How many times…” Bakugou gives him a look caught between annoyance and fondness. “Kiri. First off, after yesterday, I have no fucking room to complain when it comes to– That. It happens, it sucks, it’s fine. It’s not your fault or whatever. Secondly–”

Kirishima almost chuckles at how pointed that one word is. He shelves the comment on his tongue for after the Bakugou Lecture he’s being treated to.

“I fell asleep on you. Which, my bad but also fuck you, I was tired and some fucking sap wanted to talk feelings at screw-this-AM. There’re no… scratches or anything, and you make an okay pillow for being a literal rock. So, we’re even.”

Kirishima does laugh at that. “I’m not a rock! Get your facts straight, bro.”

“And thirdly”, Bakugou continues with a smirk, “I just turned your hands into bombs, you dumb fucking rock. Either you let me spark it off you or I’m kicking you out to wash it off before that shit goes boom.”

“Spark off?” Head tilting, Kirishima looks at his hands. He doesn’t see anything but if Bakugou says there’s nitro, there’s definitely nitro. “Wait, is that what you do when you…?”

The gesture Bakugou does to let rapid-fire explosions flicker in his palms is easily copied, Kirishima has seen him do it countless times. The other rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. I got tired of getting it all over the place and wearing gloves twenty-four-seven is uncomfortable as fuck, I tried. Plus, burning shit is fun.”

Huh. Kirishima holds out his hands once more, a swift grin on his lips. “Sounds cool. One sparking off, please!”

Bakugou slaps them away immediately. “Use your quirk, dipshit. Or d’you actually wanna get ‘em blown to pieces?”

“Oh. Right.”

Everything under Kirishima’s elbow hardens in an instant. This time, Bakugou huffs under his breath and takes them between his palms. “Here goes.”

A flash, the familiar crackle of firecracker explosions – Kirishima braced himself for it to hurt a little despite Bakugou’s insane control over his quirk, and he does feel it. It tickles, mostly, the sensation of tiny bursts of heat rolling from his fingertips to his wrist a strangely soothing one.

Bakugou looks over his hands when he’s done, the tightness between his brows easing. Then he glances up to Kirishima’s face and sees the smile that’s broad enough to make his cheeks ache. The frown comes back tenfold.

“No.”

“Dude, yes. Do that again.”

“Nope. Fuck you, Shitty Hair, no.”

“You said it’s fun two seconds ago! Checkmate, I win.”

“Kirishima.”

Kirishima snickers until Bakugou’s palm presses against his cheek. It’s basically second nature to harden in time for the explosion to go by harmlessly and oh, this is so going to become a thing.

“It’s a thing now”, he informs Bakugou. “Can it be like our handshake? We totally need a handshake. What kind of besties are we withou–” A gasp. “Oh, oh, we can do the thing after training, too! I won’t even need to wash my hands. It’s fun and useful.”

Bakugou’s face twists. “What the hell? That’s fucking disgusting.” In one fluid movement, he’s out of their blanket nest and stomping off the couch. It would be intimidating… if not for his wrinkled shirt and sleep-mussed hair making it kind of adorable, instead.

“I’m done talking to you.”

“Aww, bro!”

Kirishima crawls half-way over the armrest only to catch a throw pillow – hah! – to the face. Another thud follows, turning out to be Kirishima’s phone tossed from across the room.

“Even mooched off my charger, ugh. You got a million missed messages. Take care of ‘em before your moms call the cops, bro.”

Bakugou's tone is practically drenched in sarcasm but Kirishima doesn’t care, he beams. Bakugou called him his bro and there’re simply no take-backs allowed on a declaration like that.

💪🏻 Kirishima Power 💪🏻

Mama K: Honey, are you awake yet? (received 10:10)

Mama K: Your mom and I are ready to come pick you up whenever. (received 11:20)

Mom: also let us know when we can start hunting your teachers for sport (received 11:22)

Mama K: No murder until our son is back, dear. (received 11:22)

Mom: mhmm sure (received 11:23)

aaaa morning!! (sent 11:38)

oh shit it’s almost noon hhhh (sent 11:38)

Mom: language kiddo (received 11:38)

oh crap** sry (sent 11:38)

Mama K: Welcome back! ❤️ (received 11:39)

hey mama ❤️ (sent 11:39)

ok so picking up is good!! we’re eating breakfast rn (sent 11:42)

well more like lunch 🙈 (sent 11:42)

Mama K: Okay! Now or later? (received 11:43)

ah, mitsuki is saying you two should swing by for tea so maybe in an hour? (sent 11:47)

and that the teachers are actually coming here?? later?? idk why tho (sent 11:48)

aside from, y’know (sent 11:48)

Mama K: Yeah 🙁 (received 11:50)

Mom: how’s katsuki holding up? (received 11:50)

umm ok. kinda. he looks tired as heck tbh and i’m not sure how happy he is about the teacher thing (sent 11:55)

it’s all a bit oof (sent 11:56)

Mom: hmm. anything we can do to help? (received 12:01)

def give him his space (sent 12:03)

and maybe don’t kill aizawa @Mom looking at u haha (sent 12:03)

Mom: bummer (received 12:06)

actually… one more thing? 👀 (sent 12:10)

Mama K: You want us to bring the big guns, huh? (received 12:12)

After the hellos and introductions and obligatory fussing over Kirishima – Mama gives him her usual forehead kiss, expertly avoiding his freshly-spiked hair, while Mom wraps him in her patented rib-pulverizing hug – the parents go inside, leaving Bakugou and Kirishima in the yard with…

“Riot.”

Kirishima grins and nods. He heaves the hundred pounds of tail-wagging excitement into a more comfortable position against his chest, big paws coming to rest on his shoulders. “Yeah! Isn’t he the cutest?”

“Your dog is called Riot.”

“Yup!”

Bakugou openly stares at Riot’s drooling smile. After a painfully long pause, he goes: “Okay.”

If all it took to make Bakugou speechless was an Akita with an unexpected (?) name, Kirishima would’ve introduced him to Riot ages ago. As it is, it’s taking all his willpower not to crack up at Bakugou’s expression. It’s like watching one of those ancient Windows computers suffer a system crash so severe even the task manager stops functioning.

Arms full of dog, Kirishima nudges him with his elbow. Reboot initialized. “But?”

Bakugou shakes himself a little. He gestures to Riot, or perhaps to Kirishima, or both? It’s hard to tell. “But… just, like… Why?”

Priceless. Kirishima silently vows to cherish this rarest of blessings in his memories for eternity. It won’t do to rescue Bakugou only to give him an aneurism the very next day. Setting Riot down, Kirishima pats orange-white hair off his borrowed clothes. The Akita immediately trots over to Bakugou to say hi.

“I got Riot when I was really small, like six-ish? Seven? Something like that.”

Bakugou crouches and holds out his hand for a curious black nose to sniff. Kirishima sits down next to them, watching Riot take a deep whiff and promptly sneeze. Bakugou mutters something about explosives and dumb dog, be careful. Despite the forced casualness on Bakugou’s part, it’s clear he’s not used to being around dogs.

Still, he’s trying. Kirishima’s grin tempers to a soft, close-lipped smile at the sight.

“Back then, I only had a vague idea of who I’d wanna be. As a hero, y’know?” He reaches over to scratch Riot’s favorite spot at the base of his curled tail. It starts wagging immediately. “I was tossing around a few names and somehow Riot stuck. So, I tried it out on him and by the time I realized ‘Yup, that’s the one!’, he didn’t wanna listen to anything else.”

Riot pants at him, mouth wide. Kirishima boops his wet nose. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you. Stubborn dog.”

“You’re telling me your hero name got stolen”, Bakugou summarizes drily. “By a dog. When you were six.”

Figures that’s what Bakugou would get out of this. Kirishima snorts and shrugs.

“I guess? Riot – the hero, not the dog – existed way before the whole ‘Red’ stuff came along, ‘cause like… Crimson was out there, I knew he existed, but his philosophy was a bit beyond me. He wasn’t my hero yet, you feel me?”

Bakugou hums. “You weren’t a hero nerd yet. Just a space nerd.”

That startles a laugh out of Kirishima. He knocks his shoulder against Bakugou’s. “Exactly! See, you get me.”

“Shut up, nerd”, comes the predictable reply with a rougher knock back.

Eventually, Bakugou joins him in the grass, his knees propped up and elbows resting on them. Riot makes himself comfortable as well, sprawling on his side with his head resting on Bakugou’s thigh. The full might of pleading canine eyes look upwards. Bakugou squints. “The fuck.”

“He wants scritches”, Kirishima translates readily.

A beat, then Bakugou carefully rubs the knuckles of his index and middle finger in-between the white spots on Riot’s face. Riot huffs a content sigh and melts into the gentle touch.

“Hm. He’s soft.”

“Right? As a puppy, he was the softest and tiniest thing you can imagine. Wait, I might have pics on my phone. Gimme a sec.”

A bit of searching, and Kirishima taps on an old photo of him as a kid, pointy teeth flashed in an impossibly big smile as he hugs a chubby ball of brown fluff close to his face. Mama had dug it up from some dusty family album in a bout of nostalgia after Kirishima broke the news he’d been accepted to U.A.

“Behold: Baby Riot.”

Kirishima shows it to Bakugou. Only after Bakugou’s brows rise does he remember he’s probably never seen him with his natural hair color. Whoops.

Studying the photo for a moment, Bakugou continues to pet the adult version of Riot absent-mindedly. “He looks like a potato.”

“Wha–” Kirishima checks the photo to make sure it’s the same one. “Bakugou. It’s a puppy. It’s like, scientifically proven puppies are the one and only road to world peace. Hello? Nobody hates on a puppy, especially this one.”

Whatever face he’s making has Bakugou smirking, eyes sharp under a brow raised in challenge. “It’s got a weird shape and is brown. Potato.”

Kirishima whines. “Why are you like this? Riot, don’t listen to him, man. You’re the best.”

Riot has fallen asleep, oblivious to the outrageous claims being made in his presence. It’s better that way – the good, old boy deserves better than this slander.

Bakugou is looking down to the snoring dog, too, and something about it must soften even a prickly hedgehog heart like his because he sighs and grumbles: “He’s kinda cool. Maybe.”

Gotcha.

Kirishima pumps his fist in sweet, sweet victory. Nobody, not even the eternally grumpy, can resist the Kirishimas’ secret weapon.

On the way back home, Kirishima messes around with his camera until he’s managed a half-decent selfie of himself and Riot sharing the backseat of his parents’ car. A brief moment is spent hovering over his chat with Bakugou.

It’s the first time he’s opened it since– Since.

Baku 💣💥

[riot(s).jpg] (sent 16:58)

thanks for hosting me man 🐶 (sent 16:58)

dorm life, here we come!! (sent 16:59)

The tension in Kirishima’s chest is knocked loose as the ticks turn blue without delay, closing the gap to the ones from the lodge like it never existed. It unwinds entirely when, a handful of minutes later, Bakugou replies.

Baku 💣💥

idiot (received 17:05)

see you soon (received 17:05)

>>Chapter 6

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #kiribaku #bnha fanfiction #i wanted some fluff so i gave kiri a dog #this fic is also on AO3!!#reblogs appreciated c:#my stuff

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sir-silly · 4 years

Text

The Last War fan review

So, our beloved show has ended. And while I wish things would have gone differently, I did cry with relief when Clarke looked over and saw everyone already waiting for her.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the finale.

1) Going right into the title sequence kind of shocked me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was just immediately like ��oh.” It was a bitch-slap in the face that they left a gap in the credits for Bob Morley. Why you gotta do us like that?

2) Murphy screaming “come on” while they used the defibrillator on Emori was heartbreaking. And his little whispered encouragements were so freaking cute.

3) Clarke rampage? Yes, please! I love me a badass woman. However, unlimited ammo is a sin in writing. The moment Octavia picked up the sword was a big “oh yes.”

4) Did Cadogan not care about his son like at all? Lmao. Why is he so hung up on Callie and not his other kid (who I can’t even remember the name of). I don’t care if they explain in the prequel, that’s still a shitty parent choosing favorites. Along with his wife, like, was she not his greatest love? It was Callie? Kinda fucked up.

5) Why the fuck could Jordan figure out it was a test and not a war in 5 seconds when the Disciples were studying that shit for decades? I know he’s Monty’s son, but he’s not a genius or anything.

6) Thoughts on the test: I think Cadogan would have failed and the human race would be destroyed. Why bother asking questions if you already know all the answers?

7) Why wasn’t Gaia in the finale like at all?? Like, what the fuck. She was hunting??? For what?? That really annoyed me because I’ve grown to really like her and there was no point in her not being involved in the last episode. They seriously couldn’t have thrown her in there? Like, come on! Even Niylah was there! (not saying that I don’t like her, it’s just that Gaia has felt far more important to the story than her).

8) I do think that Jasper and Hope are cute together, and I know they spent the majority of their lives either alone or only with their parents, but GOD I can’t stand how awkward they are. Also, I know ya’ll have feelings for each other and shit, but is now really the time to be making out?? Why do people think that’s okay in literally the worst situations? I know it’s a show, but come on.

9) And how the fuck did Jordan throw and catch that sword? He’s a child who’s never fought a day in his life. Unless they suddenly want to tell me that Harper and Monty were secret ninjas and taught him all their tricks, I don’t believe that.

10) I’m being pissy and bringing up things from the past, but I don’t care. Why the fuck couldn’t Harper and Monty gone into cryo? I know they were happy and shit, but I’M NOT. How the fuck did it take so long for him to get into the files for Sanctum? His ass has done that shit a thousand times before in about two minutes and suddenly it takes him 80 years? Bullshit.

11) I’m still being pissy, but how the fuck does Jordan know what a magician is? “For my first trick, I will make an army appear.” Bruh, no. Monty wouldn’t have known what a magician was either. If they weren’t being taught what a Navy Seal was, there’s no way they knew what magicians were. Calling bullshit on that one as well.

12) I was pretty surprised that the Disciples didn’t start firing on Wonkru immediately. Like, this is the war they’ve been gearing up for forever and they don’t attack as soon as possible? Also, where the fuck did Wonkru get their war paint? Do they just constantly have it on their person? Or did their asses literally spend time making their paint before going to Bardo?

13) I fucking love Miller and Jackson. They’re freaking adorable. Murphy’s flat “I am glad you are safe” was so fucking funny. Also, saving Emori in one scene just to kill her in the next is bullshit. They should have just killed her the first time and done the same thing anyway. Murphy screaming at Jackson to do something and sobbing was heartbreaking. Fantastic acting on Richard Harmon’s part.

14) Octavia putting on Lincoln’s same warpaint again was once again, so sad. I miss that man. He was too good for his own good. And while I do think that her and Levitt are very cute together, I’ll always prefer her with Lincoln. But I think that he would be really happy that she has found someone new to love.

15) Apparently whatever Echo “did” to Levitt was so forgettable that I don’t even know what she’s talking about. Bad writing. I shouldn’t forget that in just a few weeks, I should remember as soon as I see the two of them in the same room.

16) Lexa. Just all of it. There were some suspicions that she would show up for the last episode, but I didn’t really believe them because I didn’t understand how she would be integrated. I’m glad that they did bring her back, but I’m also not. It was amazing to see her back by Clarke in all of her armor and glory, but knowing it wasn’t actually Lexa was just a punch in the face. It wasn’t her mind, so it’s almost like they didn’t bring her back anyway. I honestly would have preferred if they used someone else for her Judge, because that just really didn’t do it for me. Their hug was sweet, but it didn’t even count as her returning. I personally think that her Judge should have been Bellamy or Madi instead, as they both certainly could fill the role of “the subject’s greatest teacher or the source of their greatest failure...it can be their greatest love.” This is just my preference. Believe me, I know how much Lexa meant to Clarke, but as a fan, bringing our favorite Heda back in that way wasn’t the best way to do it. As a writer, it makes sense, but it doesn’t as a fan. The writers can’t just think of what is the best storytelling, they have to think of what those watching will think.

17) I’m confused about the mindspace? Why did Clarke wake up in her solitary room with her memories painted all over the walls, but Emori woke up in the castle with a view of the desert? Why wouldn’t it have been her and Murphy’s cave? Is there a reason it was the bedroom and not the cave?

18) I know this isn’t canon in any sense, but could you imagine if Murphy and Emori fought over John’s body and she won, and then suddenly woke up with a penis? How fucking funny would that be? Just had to throw that out there.

19) Can I just again reiterate how fucking cute Miller and Jackson are?

20) I’m curious about the location of the test. Why did Cadogan’s take place on a pier, while Raven’s happened on the Ark? If it was their favorite place, wouldn’t Raven’s have been actually out in space? Like during a spacewalk? I’m confused about that.

21) I knew that Raven was somehow going to be involved in the test just because of the trailers we got for the final episode. My two guesses for who the judge would be were Finn and Abby. Though I am happy that we got to see Abby again, I would be curious to see if the scene would have played out any differently if it had been Finn.

22) Where was the full line that was given in the trailer? Because that was amazing. “We’re selfish, and we’re violent, and we have destroyed too much, but we survived.” I loved that line far more than what we got instead, which was simply, “Have we made mistakes? Yes. Clarke, me, all of us, but we were just trying to survive.” I definitely would have chosen the former over the latter. Poor choice on the editors’ parts.

23) How the fuck did Octavia and Echo go out to the field and get Levitt with Echo only being shot once? With all the bullets, the three of them should have been torn apart, I don’t care how much Indra could cover Octavia. Calling bullshit on that as well.

24) Bringing this up kind of late because I’m giving my reviews as I’m rewatching the episode, but what they had Eliza do was really fucked up. Her and Bob suffered a miscarriage during the filming of season seven, so the scene of her holding Madi and crying “my baby” is like 10 times more heartbreaking. If they made her film that after having a miscarriage mere days, weeks or few months before, that’s really, really messed up.

25) They really played-up Sheidheda’s bringing back of “jus drein jus daun” in the trailer. In reality, it was far less intense. I would have preferred what I had been expecting, which was him coming to help convince Wonkru that they would be able to win. However, I am super glad that he is dead and Indra finally got to kill him. I love how that bigass gun just turns people into mist lol.

26) The beginning of Octavia’s speech was literally like “what the FUCK guys” and it was hilarious. And I swear to god if I hear her say “we are Wonkru” or “you are Wonkru” another time, I’m gonna scream. I know it was legit the last episode but I’m sick of it by now lol. When Indra was like “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Octavia’s face was just like “omg me too” and it was really funny.

27) Bellamy. His situation was a whole problem itself. He deserved a hell of a lot better and wHY DID HE CUT HIS HAIR I LIKED IT THE LONG WAY. Anyway, you can bet your ass I’ll be writing a different ending where he didn’t die because FUCK THAT. When I do, I’ll be sure to share it.

28) I’m fucking confused about Murphy and Emori both transcending. Because, what the fuck. Emori died. The dead don’t transcend. Her mind wasn’t even in her body, it was in Murphy’s. So how the fuck did she end up alive and in her own body again. I’m glad she’s alive, but I just don’t understand. It would have made way more sense to have either not had her die in the first place, or to have Murphy, Miller, and Jackson keep pumping her heart so she technically “lived” anyway like Echo.

29) If Madi had decided not to transcend, would she still have been paralyzed? I mean, I would assume not because Levitt and Hope’s gunshots were healed, as was Emori, but I’m curious. Also, wouldn’t Raven’s leg have been fixed? Because if they only fix recent wounds and not old ones, that’s stupid.

30) On the point of Madi deciding not to transcend, why did she? Why didn’t so many other people choose not to? Like, not one Eligius prisoner or person from Sanctum chose to live? No one else from Wonkru? Why didn’t anyone else other than the main cast and guest stars not transcend? I totally understand the Disciples transcending, but seriously, nobody else wanted to live? That’s really weird. Madi and her friends really couldn’t have chosen to live on Earth with Clarke and the others? I just think it’s really unrealistic that not one single person outside of the group chose not to transcend.

31) I was really surprised that Murphy and Emori chose not to transcend, because as the Judge said, they would eventually die and not join them in the infinite. It shocked me due to their fear of dying and wanting to be immortal, but I’m really proud of them.

32) I’m disappointed that those who don’t transcend can’t have children. There were suspicions that Emori might have been pregnant (which were never confirmed), but the idea of her and Murphy having a kid together was adorable. They’d have their teeny tiny families with those two, Hope and Jordan, and Octavia and Levitt.

33) This isn’t as much me pointing out a problem as me wondering, what was Clarke going to say to the Judge when she turned around? What else did she have to say or ask? Was it about Madi? Or maybe Lexa? Or just transcending in general?

34) It’s pretty shitty that some of our questions went unanswered due to the fact that there will be a prequel. On the other hand, I live for lore, so I’m just glad that they eventually will be answered. But still, that doesn’t excuse shitty writing.

35) I want to see a stupid edit of Picasso taking the test where the Judge is Madi.

I think we all know that season seven was really not what we wanted it to be. We’ve been really disappointed by the writers and unfortunately, this is what we got out of it. I believe they really could have done a better job, but I am at least glad that everyone ended up together.

The writing was lacking. Too many questions were left unanswered, I don’t care if you’re making a sequel or not. Plot holes. It really could have been a good season if it was done better.

My ranking of the seasons is as follows: 3, 2, 4, 1, 6, 5, 7. Seasons 4 and 1 are kind of interchangeable for me in spots three and four, as are 6 and 5 in the two spots behind them, whatever the order may be.

But I still love the show. I love the characters, their development, and many things about it. It has been quite the journey and I am glad to have been a fan of the show.

May we meet again.

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drethanramslay · 4 years

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14 Bryce x mc please🥰

Thanks for the ask anon :)

You can find the prompt list here

#14- Are you okay?

Word count: 1.1 K words

Warning: Mention of gaslighting, emotional abuse, suicide and self harm

Author’s note: So um.. I was not having the best of days and when I saw this prompt, the flood broke XD

This is written in first person i.e my mc, Aliya Acharya’s POV

please forgive me if I make any mistakes.

Are You Okay?

I walked down the hallways in a daze. People usually say that I'm a cheery and funny person to hang out with me and that's the truth.

But, a phone call from my parents wipes the slate and leaves me... Empty.

At 28, I thought I would have gotten over the hell they put me through, and that I could just flip them off and carry on but that does not happen. I just can't bring myself to do that.

So I continue walking, with no direction, hoping that the numbness in my chest leaves me.

Someone must have called out to me, but it felt like my head was under water. I might be here physically but my mind was empty, all emotions down the drain. Just a walking drone.

A hand touched my shoulder and forced me to turn towards him.

"Angel! I have been calling you for the last minute." Bryce spoke.

Gulping, I forced a smile on my face. "Sorry, I was busy thinking about the case."

Bryce's eyes scrutinized my face, and I couldn't get my self to meet his eyes.

"No, something is wrong... Are you okay?"

Are you okay?

What a funny question. I mean whenever someone (probably like 2 people) asks me this, I can't help but throw my head back and laugh which usually brings weird looks from them, which eventually leads them to not talk to me for the next decade.

It's not sarcasm. I genuinely find it hilarious.

Because when someone asks me that question, the shitty and fucky reality of my life slams into me like a train wreck.

My life indeed is a series of unfortunate events occurring one after the other and at this point I have accepted it that I was born to suffer.

I'm not trying to pull the "woe is me card". Nah, not into the sympathy kink. It's a universal fact that me, Aliya Acharya is cursed.

I never really talk about it though because when I once tried, my friends, peers, nobody believed me that my parents are actually so toxic that Britney Spears could be jealous.

Why would they anyway? They have met my parents, who are respected people and are held at a pedestal. My dad is an entrepreneur of a large company with a turn over so huge, you would be shocked. And my mother is literally an angel and has her own NGO where she teaches the poor kids of Mumbai basic education. She is a healer and a councellor.

So. why would anyone believe me when I say that they abuse me emotionally?

I tried talking about these things when I was 18 to my therapist, trying to get some guidance, some help. But, that completely backfired on me because she was close friends with my parents.

Just ignore it... Wow what a solid advice.

So yeah, I have given up after that. I used to write my suffering in a diary but after sometime, that also didn't help.

I was numb to everything.

Wake up. Eat. Study. Sleep. Repeat.

I had no social life because well, I have my parents to blame for that. Since a very young age they raised me to be super competitive and that everyone I met, wants me to fail. They would put heavy restrictions on who I interacted with till the late teens.

And it didn't help that I was bullied throughout highschool.

So hello anxiety, depression and self esteem issues.

Being depressed has become a second nature for me. Even though it's been five years since I moved out, I still slip into bouts of depression. No amount of therapy or medication can fix the damage they did to me.

They gaslighted me like the fourth of July. Everyday there was this fix menu of insults which they flung my way, like daggers.

-> you are a disappointment. -> you are abusive -> I have given birth to a monster (that's my mom's favourite line) -> you deserve to die/ you shouldn't have been born( this was said like four times but it counts!)

And the funny thing is if anyone else were to say this to me, anyone other than my family, they would be on the ground with a broken nose.

I mean, why would your own family say such things to you, right?

So I have never spoken about this. I want to move on so bad, but the scars on my legs and my heart are a painful reminder.

I can't even say I'm a survivor because I still suffer. Even though I'm thousands of miles away from them, they always call to tell me 'how I have distanced myself from them' and how 'they don't deserve to be cut off from their daughter's life'.

That really sends me off. It pisses me so much that they are so proud and blinded by this false sense of superiority that they can't see how words hurt. I want to shout at them and tell them how I have a record of how many times I wanted to take my life because of them.

But I don't.

Because they will end up saying I'm hypersensitive and a habitual liar.

I mean what is even the point?

So yeah... I built up a fortress, brick by brick, making my walls high so that absolutely no one can come in.

No one can hurt me.

No one can have that insane power over me.

And no one can see the ugly scars.

But as I stare at those honey brown eyes, with flecks if gold, I find my resolve crumbling. I find myself stumbling.

After the entire ordeal of bullying and gaslighting, I became a very good judge of character... And for the first time in a very long time, I actually see genuine concern.

That someone actually wants my wellbeing. That someone actually gives a damn about me.

And that's scary.

Every time I edge towards opening up, my conscience drags me back, saying that 'This is all a foil to hurt me.'

But... I don't feel the kind of security anywhere but in Bryce's arms. I never feel the reassurance from anywhere but from Bryce. He had been supportive, caring and the affection he shows me is slowly filling up the void my parents left in me.

"Aliya, you know that I'm there for you right?" He said as he placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling me out if my reverie.

And that did it.

That gave me the push to take the leap.

The leap of faith.

Faith that he will catch me when I'm falling apart and he will catch me when I am falling for him.

I took a sharp inhale, and looked up at him, tears welling up in my eyes. That one word, which I had struggled to say all my life, slipped off my tongue like butter.

"No.... I'm not okay."

This was word vomit at its finest.

I might end up deleting it

Bryce X MC: @loveellamae @lilyvalentine @sanchita012 @zeniamiii @lucy-268 @raleigheffingcarrera @have-aheart @utterlyinevitable @rookie-ramsey

Permanent Tag list: @trappedinfandoms @oofchoices @agent-breakdance @dailydoseofchoices @tyrilstouch @siaramsey @theeccentricbibliophile @ac27dj @ramseysno1rookie @justanotherrookie @openheart12 @jamespotterthefirst @checkurwindow @chasingrobbie @junggoku @bellcat2010 @choicesstan1 @mvalentine @crazynutella @hatescapsicum

#anushka writes #writing prompts #oh bryce #bryce lahela #bryce x mc #open heart bryce #open heart #open heart mc #open heart 2 #choices #choices oh #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #pixelberry

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crossdressingdeath · 4 years

Note

(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

#well that got... long #and probably not super fun #i have Thoughts about this particular subject it seems #grapehate #asks #anon

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yuna-dan · 4 years

Text

Comfort Drink

It’s been ages since I’ve written something for this fandom but I was super thrilled when I got this comission, it’s also my very fist comission!!!

It got longer than the stablished “1550″ words, so I hope you don’t mind?

Thank @thealphabetmurders for this comission! And I hope you like it as much as I enjoy writting this.

Warning: Mention of violence. Swearing. Kinda Katara bashing but not on purpose, she’s doing her best.

Summary: Five Times Zuko went to a coffeeshop and didn't drink anything and one time he did."What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…” “Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him

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Buy me a kofi? | Masterpost | Comission Info

“Sorry we’re closed.” Sokka said, without even looking at the person, closing the door with his keys. He wanted nothing more than to take a shower, get the coffee beans out of his apron and stayed up all night watching Netflix.

The man hasn’t moved, so Sokka guessed it was either a junkie, a jerk or someone homeless. He gasped in surprised when he turned around only to see him there.

Zuko was staring at him, his mismatched eyes seeing everything but his face, “Hi.”

Sokka cleaned his throat, “What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…”

“Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him.

Sokka felt as if the air on his lungs was airbended out of them, five years since they graduated highschool, five years since he had seen the possible love of his life Zuko, and now they were here, outside his shitty job wearing a grey suit and his hair now was long.

He had so many things to say, but in the end he just said.

“Neat.”

Zuko chuckled and look away. For a moment he thought he was making a fool of himself, but then again, this was Zuko, his highschool sweetheart.

“It was nice seeing you again, Sokka.” He finally said, and bowed, the motherfucker had the audacity to bowed when they’ve known what their mouths taste like.

Then he left, leaving Sokka was once again with a lot of questions on the tip of his tongue.

Later, much later when he was texting Katara he brought it up.

What do you mean you see him?

Even on text he could read how mad his sister was, he texted with only one hand as he brushed his teeth with the other.

I was closing the coffeshop and he bumped into me, I think it was just coincidence.

He snorted when he saw his little sister’s response

It better be

Sokka hoped it wasn’t, but then again, life didn’t work like he wanted to.

It wasn’t coincidence, or at least twice in the same month would be a very slim coincidence, but here was, the ex-heir of Ozai’s fortune standing in the line, wearing his peasant clothes.

He wanted to ask, what are you doing here? But it came out as a “Welcome to the White Lotus, what can I get for you, Zuko?

Zuko was nervous, at first glance it wasn’t obvious, but Sokka knew this guy, he noticed small things like the way his marred cheek was twitching or the way his left hand was doing small circles.

“It’s good I get here before you close…” Sokka smiled, because goddammit, Zuko was terrible at small talks but he was trying.

“Well, more coffee shops close after 10 p.m.” He replied, leaning against the counter. He was very glad today wasn’t so busy, “but tell me Jerkbender, what can I get for you?”

“A jasmine tea.”

And of course, Sokka already knew this, Zuko continuously expressed his hatred toward tea but Uncle Iroh had rubbed into him. Whenever Zuko was sad or missing home, his comfort drink was jasmine tea.

The nonbender bit his tongue, are you okay? he wanted to say, but it came out as a “Coming right out you, Zuko.”

Sokka entertain himself making the tea, and when he called Zuko’s name, nobody came.

It wasn’t the first time Zuko left unfinished something, and this time, it didn’t hurt that much.

He drank the tea, and the moist on his eyes was due to the steam, and nothing else.

That night he crashed into Toph and Suki apartment, because he missed his friends, not because he felt lonely. He decided on not telling the rest of the gaang he’s seen Zuko, but for some reason he guessed Toph already knew.

The next time it happened, Sokka wasn’t even there.

It was Katara who told him what happened, with her smug face as if she was proud on what she did. Aang kept eyeing him, ready to break the possible fight.

So, according to his sister in went like this:

Zuko was sitting on a table, alone minding his own business when Katara went, and scared the shit out of him, “You have to order something for you to sit here.”

Aang later told Sokka that Zuko’s face was for a second of happiness, and then it turned out into a mixture of pout and sadness, “Katara, it’s good seeing you here.”

Katara narrated how she screamed at him, “I don’t want to see your pathetic face here, why you don’t run with your father?”

That’s when Sokka interrupted his sister, “You told him what?”

“To go back with his father.”

Which was low, because yes, what Zuko did in highschool was rude but that was a low blow, “You told the guy who’s dad burned his face, who spent a long time waiting for his approval and practically ruined his life to do what?”

Katara did look ashamed for a split second, but retorted anyways, “He abandoned you without an explanation.”

And of course Sokka knew, he was the one who spent almost three months laying on his bed wondering why he wasn’t enough for Zuko, why his boyfriend left him without even breaking up. “And? That’s my fight, Katara, not yours!”

She frowned, “He is not even here and no we’re fighting because of him.”

Sokka hit the table with his palms, out of frustration more than anger, “No Katara, we’re fighting because you shouldn’t fight my battles that took place over five years ago, because no matter how angry or mad you are, you never attack a person on battle wounds.”

He left in the middle of his shift and went directly to his apartment. He logically knew that Katara meant well, but it was all over the situation where she took a role that wasn’t hers.

It wasn’t until he came out of a hot steaming shower and grabbed his phone that he realized some things. He owned Yue a shift, since she covered his after he stormed out fuming.

And that he had three missed calls from Toph.

Without even thinking he dialed her number, hoping it was just her dramatic ways and not something important. For some reason he didn’t understand, it was always Toph the one who break bad news to him, so his reasons to be nervous were on point.

He heard three beeps on the other side of the line before the earthbender picked up her phone, and without missing a beat she said, “I was the one who told Zuko where you work, he needs to tell you something.”

So, her dramatic ways, apparently.

It took him a moment to understand what was happening, “What?”

He heard how Toph coughed on the other side, he guessed either Aang or Suki was with her forcing her to come out clean, “Yeah, I-Huh,” she cleaned her throat, “We’ve been talking for a couple of months, and he said he wanted to tell you what really happened five years ago, so I told him to man up and to do it.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you’re both assholes who have been suffering for five years?”

“No, I mean…” He laid on his bed, the wet towel still on his hair, “Why are you still talking to him?”

“He’s still my friend, and y’know, us rich disinherit kids stick with each other.” Sokka knew that for Toph, it still hurt how much their parents overprotection lingered on her, so he understood. Not in a direct way, of course not, but in a I was there when everything happened and I’m your friend way

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he’s still an idiot when it comes to communication though.”

“Yeah, he is.”

Sokka definitely didn’t went to Zuko’s Instagram and Facebook, he was smarter than that.

Except he was smart, but he was still a man who loved gossip, so putting aside his mental health he purposely went to Zuko’s pages. He found four main important things.

A. Uncle Iroh was still around, and god did Sokka’s heart relaxed at that. That man was pure gold. Iroh posted a photo of himself and Zuko a month ago. They were both smiling, Iroh broadly as always and Zuko with a shy but genuine smile. Behind them there was a small house. B. There were photos (two of them) of a small child and a woman who looked like Azula, but older. C. He was still in contact with Mai and Ty Lee, which wasn’t relevant to be honest. D. He didn’t seem to have any relationship, and for some reason his heart did a small flip at that.

He was lost on his thoughts when he noticed his gloomy ex sitting on the sidewalk in front of the shop. Katara would say that what he did next was without thinking, but they were mad at each other right now, so her opinion didn’t count.

So he flipped the “Open/Close” sign and went to sit next to him.

“Gathering courage?” He asked as he sat down, grabbing his phone to pretend he was busy.

He heard the firebender laughing, “Kinda. You see, five years ago I made a mistake and I’ve been trying to talk to him, but apparently I’m still as socially awkward as I was five years ago…”

“You hair got longer.”

Zuko snorted, “I’m sorry, for real.”

Sokka wanted to say something but it got lost when he decided to kiss Zuko right there.

Sokka decided that Zuko wasn’t ready to tell him everything, just the my mom wasn’t really death and when she came back Ozai tried to kill her, so we had to run away was enough for Sokka to stop and rethink everything. Even Katara, was ashamed when Zuko told them (again, not all the story).

Zuko was sitting on a small couch inside the coffeeshop, once again without ordering something, “You need to order something in order to sit here.” Sokka said, as a joke when his shift was over.

“Ozai died last year.” Zuko said instead and that took Sokka by surprise.

“That’s rough, buddy.” He found himself saying, and for some reason it was okay.

Zuko was sitting on a chair near the counter, reading an essay on economics for his class. Sokka dropped a soft kiss on his hair, “Zuko I have a question for you.”

“Mmm?”

“You never order a thing, why?”

Zuko look up and stared into his eyes, “I don’t like giving you orders.”

Sokka burst into laughter, and decided to buy his boyfriend a jasmine tea, after all it was Zuko’s comfort drink.

---

Thank you so much for reading, yes I finished writing and editing this at 3:30 am, so points for effort, i guess? I won’t tag anyone but Roz cuz this is not my main fandom (for now) so I won’t spam y’all.

Thanks again for comissioning me!

#yuna's fic #Avatar The Last Airbender #atla #atla fic #zukka #sokka x zuko #aang #zuko #katara #sokka #toph #yue #idk how to tag in this fandom y'all

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dangan-happy · 3 years

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Kamukura Kamukura yas queen! To Miu Kaito and/or Kokichi. Yes, it's me again. Let's call me spider anon here though, just to make things easier xD. So, today I felt like absolute shit, and honestly feel like.. I'm not enough for everyone, like I'm a letdown. To be fair... I don't recall a time where I didn't at least slightly feel like this, but it's been getting worse lately. So, I'm supposed to be the smart kid right? Highest GPA in my grade, always turns shit in on time, ext, right? (1/2)

Its kinda... always been like that. Ever since kindergarten I have been that “beautiful blossom” with straight A's and a bad attitude, although the latter has gotten a LOT better since like, 6th. Thing is... alongside my other responsibilities, this causes a whole lotta stress. Gifted Kid Burnout as they call it, and I suffer from a lot of it, and the constant pressure of my mom almost Never Letting Me Get Below a 90, 90% of the time doesn't help, and I recently got an assignment (2/???) (Tw for s/h for this part.. I'm rlly sorry, I forgot to put this at the beginning of the post.) In science that was like "write a page-long essay in 3 class periods (about space, just noting that.)”. And being the perfectionist that I am, I went all out, but I found close to nothing on sources, and I had an episode, which has been more... common lately. Basically, I start biting my hand and hitting my legs and crying silently, in a "fit' of self-loathing, and usually nobody notices.. (3/4) Until like, today. This one girl noticed and tried to get me to stop but l.. pushed her away, as always. We made up shortly after but the teacher noticed too and she said she would give me an extension so I wouldn’t get more stressed but yet I'm more stressed anyways cuz I hate feeling like I can't do anything on time and this is the first time I've ever needed one tor school. I'm rlly sorry for bothering y'all with my rambles again, but I could use some advice and comfort rn -spider anon (4/4)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Spider anonymous, that’s a pretty fuckin’ cool name you want to go by. Alright, this is a pretty lengthy ask, not even gonna bullshit it.. Yanno, I’m the smartest person I know, but even I make mistakes here & there.. Living up to smartness…that’s not exactly how I would put it. Everyone is on different levels when you think about it, not all of us can be on the same wavelength.

Man, this really is a lot of shit that you’re going through, I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling.. Well after going through all of this, I do think that you can reach out for help, especially if you feel like the stress is getting to you more than ever.. It’s a really tricky situation, but if you need to talk to anyone, you have every right to do so.

A therapist can help you out, they can also help talk you on how to handle stress. How to reduce it so you won’t be feeling so shitty all the time, if that makes any sense. I’ll give you all the hugs you need babes, cuddles for comfort too..

Woah, ok, I'm gonna be real. I think this is the longest ask I've ever gotten, but that's ok! Alright, let's do this. Also, I love the name. Spider anon, spider anon, does whatever a spider can-on. Ok, gonna hit the pause button. You're not a letdown. No matter what you think or say, you're just not. I know what letdowns look like, like the original Sonic movie model, and you're not a let down in the least.

Yeah, being the smart kid is a lot of pressure. I've never been a "beautiful blossom" but I can imagine it doesn't exactly make things better. Also side note, I'm glad the bad attitude part has gotten better, I'm proud of you bro! I definitely wouldn't call myself gifted, but dang, all of that sounds super harsh, and I'm sorry you have to go through that. Your mom's expectations seem to be really weighing on you, so maybe talk to her about that?

YOU GOT AN ESSAY ABOUT SPACE?? Sorry, sorry I'm calm, I promise. Aw bro, I'm so sorry you got pushed to that. I get it, I'm a total perfectionist, at least when it comes to space stuff. It sounds like your stress is getting out of control, and if you're getting pushed this far, I'd try talking to a professional too. You don't deserve to hurt this much. (Also, if you need strong sources, look at NASA's websites). I'm glad someone noticed, even if you pushed her away. And I'm glad you made up, and got an extension too! Hey, it's ok. You're in a bad place right now, and it's perfectly ok for you to get some extra time on things.

Seriously, I think the best thing to do is to talk to your parents, teachers, school counselors and a professional so you can get the help you need. This is some serious stuff. Any form of self harm is serious, and you don't deserve to go through this. You're not bothering at all! I'm happy you reached out to us at the least. I promise things are gonna be ok. I mean, they obviously aren't right now, but if you can reach out to people, I promise things can get better. You're not a letdown, you're an amazing, smart person who's just going through a time right now. I know you can get through it, just be brave and reach out. I 100% believe in you bro. You're amazing no matter what ok? I got your back when you need me, and you can do anything you put your mind to! Now get out there and do whatever a spider anon can-on!

Hi Spider Anon!! Wow, yeah, that's long. Sooo, I'm gonna give you the best help I can!! Wow, smart kid, gifted kid, and beautiful blossom all in one?? Wow, I can almost feel the pressure from here!! I haven't ever been a beautiful blossom...I think, but yeah, I know about the other two. And it's never easy. For real, I'd talk to your mom about those expectations, because they're seriously stressing you out and leading you to some less than great coping strategies. Seriously, if it's impacting you this much, you gotta say something to her. Ew, papers. I hate those. I'm not a total perfectionist, but damn, you poor spider anon, I'm really sorry you got so stressed. I mean, this is obvious, but self harm is not the way to go. I get it, sometimes you can't help it. It's an addiction after all, so I one hundred and twenty five percent recommend you talk to a professional. That's your best bet for help with the self harm.

You shouldn't have to fight that fight alone, and there are people out there who can help. I get self loathing fits too. I don't do what you do, but I know how it feels in the moment. Hey, the good news is that someone noticed this time around!! It's ok, I push people away too. You made up though, and that takes a lot of bravery, so I'm proud of you ok! It's seriously ok if you need more time for this assignment. It's honestly a good thing since you're not in a great headspace. It seems like your teacher is open to helping too, so maybe try talking to them about everything you're going through. I think the key to making this better is to talk to people so they know how you're feeling. People will notice if you let them notice ok?

Hey, no need to apologize!! Overall, my advice is to reach out to a professional. Maybe anxiety medication would help too, and I think talking to your mom about how her expectations make you feel would be good. You're seriously smart ok? Your grades don't define you as a person. You don't have to be perfect all the time. All you gotta be is your wonderful spider-anon self, and that's enough. So hang in there ok? You're amazing no matter what!!

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #miu iruma #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #mod rockstar #mod kaito #mod kokichi #tw self harm #self harm mention

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 4 years

Note

Ficlet prompt idea: Bucky helping reader through a rough period (of the uterus type) (the pain is getting to me :/ )

You were walking down the hall toward the gym when the cramps hit you and you stumbled. You actually fucking stumbled, hand up to the wall to regain your balance. Because your menstrual cramps were that bad. And Steve still would expect you in the gym to spar.

Fuck that, you thought, turning around and heading toward your room. There was no way you were going to risk a foot in the abdomen during a workout. A hot water bottle to the abdomen sounded way better.

You bumped into Bucky as you walked slowly down the hall and he paused to size you up.

“Hey sunshine, what’s wrong?” He slipped an arm under your shoulder and encouraged you to lean on him. You took advantage of his strength and relaxed enough that he was bearing the brunt of your frame. With ease. Super soldier genetics often had you resentful, but this was one time you were pleased for his strength.

“I just feel shitty,” you lied. You were not going to have a conversation with Bucky about the lady times. Nope. No fucking way. Besides, if he had half the observation skills he was reputed to have, he would have already known. Between the zit the size of Vesuvius on your chin and the hand across your lower abdomen it was pretty goddamn obvious.

“I’ll let Stevie know your under the weather and come back to check on you in a bit,” he offered as you arrived at your room. You nodded, feeling dizzy and a little nauseated, before ducking in the door.

It didn’t take long for you to strip down into your comfiest fuzzy nightgown and fill the water bottle with hot water. You turned something mindless on the TV and curled up around the water bottle under your favourite blanket. The warmth relaxed you, soothes the cramps and soon you were falling asleep.

XxX

You woke up to the smell of chocolate and a warm body cocooned around you. Your hot water bottle had long since cooled off and you felt yourself turning subconsciously into the heat of the person in bed with you before you realized there shouldn’t be someone in bed with you.

You woke with a jerk and found yourself staring into Bucky’s blue eyes.

“Wha-“

“My sister suffered something horrible from her monthly. Ma used to spend hours boiling water for her hot water bottle,” he interrupted.

“So you’d snuggle her?” You asked, crooking a brow in question . He laughed. It was low and husky and did something to you that you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to be feeling in your present condition.

“No.” He shook his head. “Me and Steve - the serum makes you run a little warmer, you know? So I thought maybe my warmth would help. Like a hot water bottle that doesn’t cool off.”

“Didn’t think a fella from your time would be so quick to hop into bed with a girl to help her out,” you teased.

“You know that people fucked in the forties, right? There wouldn’t be anyone left on the planet if we’d been monks.” Bucky’s laugh made your gut twist in a way completely unrelated to your cramps.

“So vulgar!” You exclaimed, feigning shock.

“I won’t tell you how I used to help my best girl when her cramps got bad then,” he teased, his minty breath warm on your face.

“Don’t tease me, Buck,” you complained with a little whine. He pressed his lips against your forehead and you felt his mouth stretch into a smile.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered. “We can talk dirty to each other when you wake up.”

You snuggled into his warmth and relaxed against him, drifting off into dreams about his laugh and suggestive comments.

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melyaliz · 4 years

Text

Past Loves and Future babies pt. 4

Masterlist

Fandom: Marvel / MCU

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC

Summary: After realizing Peggy has moved on Steve comes back to the present to take on his biggest mission ever. Have a baby that will save the world

(Play avatar theme music)

Notes: This whole story was inspired by the idea of that annoying thing where people over fantasize a situation. (I’m super guilty of it)

I like to think of Dixie as a broken dreamer.

And Steve as a guilty idealist

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

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-----------------------------

Soft warmth. That was what Dixie felt as her mind slowly slid from her deep slumber to consciousness. Her eyes slowly drew open, The warmth of the morning light falling across her face filling the rest of the room. Well by the morning light filling the room it was probably more like the noonday sun. Dixie had never been much of an awake before noon kind of gal.

Slowly she moved the sheets next to her were slightly cold. Empty. confused she sat up rubbing her head running her fingers through her hair. Her groggy brain trying to piece together what was off.

She was not a morning person.

Then it hit her.

She was alone.

Looking around Steve was nowhere to be seen.

It shouldn’t bother her. It was late. A normal person would be up and out around now. And it wasn’t like he owned her anything. He literally couldn’t even have sex with her.

Not that that meant anything but…

Letting out a long groan Dixie lay back in the bed. For a moment she wondered if she just closed her eyes maybe she would wake up in her shitty bed back in Arizona. Mac typing away from being up all night ready to turn in while she was considering breakfast burritos or just going back to sleep.

Simpler times.

Times before she had to get a baby pumped into her to save the world by a man who couldn’t even bother to stay the night with her.

Pulling a pillow around her head she tried to close out those unfair thoughts. This was for the better. The less he was around the less she would be attached. The less she was endanger of falling in love.

Dixie had known going into this that it would be like this. She would NOT let dark thoughts about a man who had no reason to be in love with her acting rationally about this whole situation. Yes, it was hard not to play the fantasy game of destiny and soulmate lovers but this was the real world. And it wasn’t unfair to put those unrealistic expectations on Steve.

Things like falling in love with her.

So rolling over onto her side Dixie sighed looking out the large window. The light shining through the thing curtain that hung over it. This was her home now. This was her life. She mine as well make the best of it.

Even if her bed just felt so lonely.

--------

It was warm that morning. For a moment Steve wasn’t sure where he was. It was so soft and comfortable. The calmness seemed to be envelop him. Slowly he opened his eyes his body shifting to realize there was an arm around his chest. A small delicate hand resting on his torso.

It all came rushing back. Last night, the day before.

Dixie.

She was buried into his back, and for a moment he wondered if she was breathing. Taking her small hand in his large one he gently pried her away from his back. Then turing he lay on his side facing her so he could make sure she was still asleep. She mumbled for a moment brows knitting together before she peacefully went back to sleep burying herself in the blankets. Her soft round face was so peaceful as she rested, her breath gently blew a strand of hair that had fallen onto her face.

Gingerly he brushed her hair away pulling the blanket up around her before kissing her forehead.

Everything that had happened. He couldn’t blame her for it. Like she had said last night. They were in this together.

“Well look at you all bright and early” Sam laughed as Steve walked up to him and Bucky stretched on the lawn getting ready for their daily run.

“I thought you would want to sleep in today” Bucky smirked and Sam laughed. However, catching Steve’s rather tense stance, Bucky's smirk flattered. Sam on the other hand, didn’t pick up on the subtle tension on their friend’s shoulders.

“No rest for Captain America?”

“Not Captain anymore” Steve reminded Sam. After coming back from delivering the stones he had given his shield to Sam. even if he couldn’t get the girl he was going to hang up his colors. Help in the background.

Be just Steve Rogers.

“Whatever you say,” Sam said.

“Also you owe me” Bucky shouted hitting Sam on the chest before taking off leading their morning run. Steve trailing closely with Sam several paces behind shaking his head muttering something about “damn super soldiers”

----------------

Dixie yawned scratching her head as she slowly walked into the living room, still in her pjs just dragging her bare feet through the plush carpet. Blinking owlishly she looked around the room, the large window that overlooked the beautiful landscape was filling the room with warm sunlight giving the whole room a very happy feeling.

This place really was beautiful.

It made her skin itch slightly. Like when you eat something too sweet or smell something that is just… too clean.

Curling up on the couch Dixie pulled a soft white blanket around herself. What to do, what to do. Pulling out her phone she looked it over for a moment before pressing the call button.

She shouldn't but…

“Am I an uncle yet?”

Just the sound of his voice made her want to cry. Her chest twisting uncomfortably. A deep thick feeling building in her stomach. As if her chest was bleeding into her body.

“Hey Mac.” her voice was light and airy. A bit of a giggle added for effect.

“That bad huh?”

Fuck him. There was no lying to her older brother. Years of them relying on the other meant they always knew when something was wrong.

It was a blessing and a curse.

“No babies yet” Dixie said doging the second question as she picked at her red toe nail polish that was peeling. “We didn’t really do much last night. He was… really awkward.”

“Oh really?” Mac paused, “You think maybe they got the wrong sibling?”

Dixic laughed, a real laugh this time. Lodging whatever was ripping into her chest lose slightly. Causing her to feel lighter.

“I mean I do love me a blonde.” Mac continued.

“I’m not sure how the whole pregnancy thing would work though.”

“I mean anything is possible at this point. Gods are real and literally half of all living things were gone for 5 years only to come back as if nothing had happened.”

“You have a point.”

“Well I am the smarter one”

“Can’t argue with you there.” Dixie looked over her even more chipped red nails, she was going to have to repaint them soon. Vaguely she hoped she hadn’t forgotten to pack that color. It was her favorite. It had that Warden Walker feel to it. And if Dixie wanted to channel anyone at the moment it was a woman who wore snake venom on her nails.

“How are things on your end?” she asked changing the subject from her not so baby daddy to her brother.

“Eh, not much. The forms have been pretty quiet and I’m waiting on that program you… acquired. It’s still hot so I can’t trade it for another two weeks at least.”

“Oh yeah I totally forgot about that.” Dixie mumbled digging around her bag looking for her nail polish. “How much longer will you be in Arizona?”

“Probably not much longer. I’m thinking maybe Denver for a while? Or maybe North Carolina? At least then I’ll be on the same coast as you.”

“Same coast is nice.” Dixie said, even if he wasn’t in the same state the thought of having him just a bit closer made her feel better. She knew she was being a baby about all this but… as tough as she acted he was the one constant in her life and she missed him.

“So how’s the new place.”

“Better than anything we could afford.”

“Please send me pictures.”

“Oh I forgot to tell you,�� Dixie smiled as she found the police at the bottom on her bad, “Steve didn’t decorate because he wanted to make sure I had a say.”

“Poor guy, he doesn’t know how shit your taste is.”

“Yeah, I should have warmed him but now… I feel like maybe he should suffer for his mistake.”

Mac’s laugh echoed from the other end and for a moment Dixie felt like he was right next to her. The two of them as kids sneaking out when their dad was in one of his moods. Escaping into the night to buy ice pops from the mart down the street and sit on the hill by their house and watch the star trying to figure out the constellations. Just the two of them making plans on when they were going to escape this stupid town and never look back.

No matter how bad it got they always had each other.

It didn’t matter how far he was. Dixie knew he would always be there. Just like she would always be there for him.

---------

“So how was the first day?” Bucky asked as he ran alongside Steve. His blue eyes studying his best friend. He had seen the way Steve had been acting since he got the news about his “destiny” It was like a dark cloud had slowly started to loom over him. It only got worse as time went on until Bucky rarely recognized the man next to him as the car pulled up with the young woman.

Bucky was the only one who had known what Steve’s plans had been. About going back to Peggy. To start a real life. He had told Bucky the night before he had left. Determination written on his face knowing that this was what he wanted. That he was going to finally do the thing he had been fighting toward.

A real life.

Then he came back. Heartbroken. More defeated than Bucky had ever seen him before. If it hadn’t been Steve Bucky had been worried. But he knew that no matter what Steve could handle it.

Or that was what he had told himself until this. It had happened so quickly after Steve had realized he could never have the one thing he wanted. It was as if he really was going to have to give his whole life to the world. Every bit of him, not just his body but his heart as well.

Never be able to have anything for himself.

Which was now, as Steve ran next to him, so focused on just moving. Bucky truly worried. The look on his best friend’s face was so placid Bucky couldn't read him at all.

Which was rare.

Turning Steve shrugged, “We just fell asleep. I… I don’t know Bucky.”

“Yeah I could tell how you kept tip toeing around her all night.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah Steve it really is. She’s not china, she’s not going to break.”

“It’s just…” Steve sighed trying to find the right words. Trying to explain what it was like to force some woman he didn’t know anything about into his life. And not just his life. His bed, his life, his future.

“She’s a stranger Steve, you both are.”

“That’s what I keep thinking. I don’t know this woman at all.”

“Well that’s why she’s here so you can get to know her.”

“There is just so much pressure”

Bucky nodded, this wasn’t something they could just punch their way out of. In fact there really wasn’t much he could do to help his friend really. It wasn’t like he could just go into the bedroom guns blazing and make sure this woman got pregnant by his friend.

“Now I don’t know her but she’s probably feeling the same way you are. You both just need to take the time to get to know each other.” Bucky thought back to his days when they were both younger. All the women he would take out. They had all been strangers once too. “You just need to romance her, treat her like any other dame. Just take the whole destiny out of it.”

Steve sighed chuckling as he looked over at Bucky, “I don’t know if you have forgotten in your old age Buck but… I was never very good at romancing a woman.”

“Well why not start with my tried and true” Bucky said smiling. Steve frowned studying his friend unsure what he was going to say.

“Take her dancing”

-GET TAGGED!-

Masterlist

Story Tag: @itsmeeluciie

Forever tag:�� @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @0hmydeku @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep @cdwmtjb8

#Steve Rogers fluff #Steve Rogers x oc #Steve Rogers fanfic #Steve Rogers x reader #Steve Rogers smut #Steve Rogers slow burn #Marvel fanfic #Marvel long fic #Marvel x oc

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