#i say this every three days with a different album/artist but hear me out:

[danesdehaan]

and when i listen to the entire uncanny valley album on repeat until the new year then what

#coin i will single-handedly make this your most streamed album #i say this every three days with a different album/artist but hear me out: #i will not stop #thanks! #tiny talks

[ourshadowstallerthanoursoul]

Getting the led out - interview to JPJ

(by Gail Worley, Ink19 - April 26, 2002 - x)

This has to be THE interview. It's Jonesy's best interview I've found so far, so READ IT. You won't regret a single second spent reading it, I promise you.

I saw the interview you did with Jim DeRogatis at South By Southwest in 2000. In that interview you said – perhaps jokingly – that one of the reasons it took you so long to make your first solo album is that you don’t sing. 'The Thunderthief' has your first recorded vocals ever. Was singing on a record with no previous experience a scary thing for you?

Yes. I mean, I had to make sure I could sing well enough to put [the performance] on record, so it wasn’t totally scary, you know what I mean? I sort of crept up on it [laughs]. The scary thing was actually doing it live on stage the first night, in Nashville (when Jones opened for King Crimson on their last tour). That was scary. What I wanted to do was do three songs from 'Thunderthief'. We started with 'Leafy Meadows' and then I did 'Hoediddle' and then I did 'Freedom Song' – which is scary enough. However, I suddenly thought, "I can’t just sing one song" (two of these three songs are instrumentals). So I thought, I need another vocal [laughs]. I didn’t want to do anything else off 'The Thunderthief', so I, in my bravura, decided to sing 'That’s The Way'. Singing a Zeppelin song was even scarier, I can tell you.

I bet.

What I used to do on the tour before, I played an instrumental version of 'Going To California' on the mandolin, and I used to team [those two songs]. I would start with 'That’s The Way' – because I played those mandolin parts on the original record. [Hums the tune] Then I said, "You didn’t think I was going to sing, did you?" [Laughs] But this time I did it and I sang it, so people who went to both concerts thought it was some kind of a trick [laughs]. But it went down alright. Nobody killed me for it, ‘cause I can’t possibly sing it like Robert Plant. I don’t have that voice. But I did it in this other way, and it worked, but the first night I was terrified. Remembering words is the hard part. I put the lyrics on a music stand, so I couldn’t fuck it up. But I’m learning, I’m getting better.

How has working with a guy like Robert Fripp influenced your own writing and playing?

Well, I haven’t actually worked with him that much. The biggest connection is being on his label. [Long pause] I mean, when Zeppelin first started in 1969, and people would say, "What sort of band is it?" I used to say "progressive rock", because in those days it meant rock that progressed [laughs]. You know, it was a very literal term; "Well, you know, we’re trying to advance the form of it, and this is what we’re doing to make it go somewhere." But of course, that title came to have all sorts of different meanings. When it started to mean 'classic', that’s when I stopped saying it was progressive rock. But then we’d say it’s 'blues rock', because people love to label things. I didn’t really hear an awful lot of King Crimson [music], to be honest. But being on his label is great, mainly because of the fact that you get, obviously, total artistic freedom. There are no contracts, either. He really hates the music industry with a passion, and he’s not afraid of telling everybody [laughs] at every available opportunity, which is great. And the artist maintains the copyrights to all their material, so I just agree with him on that whole side, and I really like the way he approaches music, and musicians. He’s so passionate about everything and has a definite way that he wants to do it. It’s inspiring to know that people can say, "This is the way I want to do it!" and off he goes! He’s always kind of been around in the background, but the first time Fripp got my attention was when Brain Eno called me and asked if I knew a piano player who could do some avant garde piano. He asked if I knew anybody who could do some spacey sort of piano, and I couldn’t really think of anybody. I asked him to describe what he wanted and then I said, "Well, I can do that" [laughs]. Alright then, so I said, "What’s the track?" and he said, "Fripp’s doing a solo on it, and I want you to do the counterpart." So I went along, and it was just this rhythm track, and I played this sort of spacey piano. The next time I heard it, Fripp had put his guitar solo on afterwards, so there’s this sort of alien spacey piano and suddenly this guitar comes in like [makes sounds of cars crashing], and I was like, "Fuck! I wish I’d known he was doing that! Jesus Christ!" Like "Who is this guy?" [laughs] Then, when I met him, he was like [imitating Robert Fripp’s gentlemanly nature] "Oh, Hello John. How are you?" I’m thinking, "Now, this isn’t the same guy who was like [makes car crash noises] on that record?" But it was. And that’s what he did on "Leafy Meadows". He walked in and he puttered about and set his pedals up and had tea and cake and then he went, "Whaaaahh!!!!" [Laughs] I really like that. It’s quite a paradox. That’s what I like about Diamanda [Galas] as well. When you meet her she’s terribly nice and sweet. And then you see her sing and [makes exaggerated face of terror].

I had to smile when I saw that Nick Beggs plays the Chapman stick on the album, because I remember him as the bassist for Kajagoogoo. How do you go about finding the various players who are involved with your solo projects?

Well, on 'Zooma' I had Pete Thomas on drums and Trey Gunn on stick. I wanted a stick player because they think differently. They’re often bass players as well, and they just approach it differently. Plus, from a very practical point of view, in a trio, it’s great, because I’m a bass player and a keyboard player and I play quite a lot of lap steel in my show. If I’m doing bass, then [the stick player] can play all the lead parts. If I go to the keyboards, he can then switch to bass in mid-song, if necessary. So, it’s very practical and it means I haven’t got someone standing there with a guitar, who feels like, "Well I should be playing something, because I’m standing here" [laughs]. There’s loads of space in a trio – which is what was nice about Led Zeppelin, because when Robert wasn’t singing we were a trio. There’s loads of space and you can go anywhere you like. So, Trey Gunn was on that album and originally I had asked him to come out with me on the road, because the idea, of course, with 'Zooma' was to get out and play it. He was going to [come out with us], but then King Crimson had resurfaced and he said his first loyalty was to go with them. Then I asked Robert [Fripp] if he knew of another Chapman stick player, and he said [adopting Fripp’s accent], "Well you won't believe it, but Nick Beggs is a really good player." I went, "Nick Beggs from Kajagoogoo? ‘Too Shy’?" And he goes, "Yeah, try him out." So I did. Then I went through a few drummers and eventually Nick said, well, "Terl Bryant is a really good drummer." So he came on board and he was great, and their attitudes are just awesome. It’s a happy family, they call me 'Pater' [laughs]. But it really is just like a family on the road, it’s really sweet. And they’re just full-on, enthusiastic, 100% committed, and it’s great.

Will you be taking 'Thunderthief' on the road now that your tour opening for Crimson has passed?

Well, yes. We’re trying to get some dates together at the moment, to do 'The Thunderthief'. But the thing is, I’d like to headline again, because then I can do my long show with the keyboards and things. But I may have to open for somebody else, again, because we really need to play to more people. It’s just maddening. I mean, we can sell out Irving Plaza [mid-size venue in NYC], but there comes a point where that’s the biggest one we can sell out, because nobody knows us. Everybody comes to the show and goes away going [adopts American accent], "That was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen! It was fantastic!" and then they tell their friends and we get people going, "Wow, I wished I’d known he was playing there." We really just need to play to more people.

Here’s a quote from a review of 'The Thunderthief': "Since his days as a top sessioneer, his abilities as an arranger and multi-instrumentalist have equipped him to add musical finesse to any genre." That’s a pretty nice compliment. Is that part of the reason you’ve been attracted to such genre diverse projects? You know, from Cinderella to The Butthole Surfers?

[Laughing] Cinderella…

Oh come on, I love Cinderella.

Yeah, they were alright. The drummer owns a bus company now. Yeah, it’s all the same to me. As long as it’s good [music] I don’t care what it is. I mean, I’ve done classical composition and string quartets and [sighs] I don’t really care what it is. If somebody asks me to do something and I don’t know how to do it, I��ll find out.

In a criticism of the song 'Angry Angry', one reviewer said that you were "Always too accomplished to achieve something so off the cuff." I guess you’d call that a back-handed compliment.

Yeah, he didn’t get it. The Brits don’t like 'Angry Angry'. For a start, they understand the accent [I sing that song in], which they hate, ‘cause it’s "music hall", basically, is what it is – like a vaudeville accent. And they don’t like it because I think they think I’m taking the piss out of punk, which I’m not. I don’t do parody at all. It’s actually terribly prosaic, how it all happened, but music is just like that for me, basically. 'Angry Angry' is at the speed it is because I heard Adam Bomb (Pink Gibson from NY based rock band, Get Animal, who plays guitar on this song) play at the Borderline in London and I immediately heard what I wanted him to do [on the record]. I went back into the studio and put a riff down, which was on bass, mandolin, and drum machine which was [sings hyper-speed riff from song], at that speed. I got it to play for three minutes, just that riff, and then I wrote the song and thought, "Now, what do I do with it?" It was at that tempo and had that intensity and the phrase 'Angry Angry' just came to me, so I wrote the lyrics from there. And I had to do it in that voice because it sounds stupid any other way [laughs]. But the Brits hate it. They think I’m trying to be something that I’m not.

Oh, those Brits are so serious about everything.

Well, you haven’t met the Germans. They’ll go right into anything and find all the symbolism and the lot.

'Ice Fishing at Night' is a really beautiful song with some dark lyrics. What inspired you to write that song?

Well, I didn’t write the lyrics. They came with 'The Thunderthief'.

What does that mean?

What happened was, halfway through what was basically going to be an instrumental album, but was also a continuation from 'Zooma', I decided it’d be really nice to have voices [laughs]. As I’ve said before, I didn’t want to get a guest vocalist in, for a couple of reasons actually. One is that I know that I’d forget what I was doing and work on producing them, whoever the vocalist was. I would immediately turn into a producer and it would go somewhere else. The other reason is that, being a bass player, I don’t actually have a distinctive sound. I mean, some people will listen to a record and go, "Oh yeah, that’s a John Paul Jones record", but if you just heard one song in isolation, [you couldn’t tell]. Like, if you’re Santana, that record he did, every time he hits that guitar you know that’s Santana. It’s what he does. He doesn’t do anything else except for that sound. I don’t have that, because of the instruments I play. I thought, guest vocalists will only dilute that and just diffuse it even more. I decided, "I’m going to try and sing myself." Then I thought, "well, I’ve got nothing to sing." Then I was thinking that I don’t want to become a singer and a songwriter all at the same time. One thing at a time, you know? So, I knew Peter Blegvad, he’s a singer/songwriter, and a cartoonist as well – he did the album cover. He’s got a weird way of looking at things; just a strange, twisted sort of dark view. I thought he’d be the ideal person to write some lyrics. I asked him, "Have you got any lyrics that you haven’t got music to? Any lyrics just laying around?" He had about four songs that he gave me and I picked up 'The Thunderthief' and 'Ice Fishing at Night' and set them to music, and basically, just experimented with singing to see whether I liked what I did. I thought I could work with these songs and I could sing enough to do what I wanted to do. I don’t have a great technique or a great voice, but as long as I could convince myself that it sounded alright, then it would be OK… which is how I do everything [laughs]. You know, I’m not a great technician on any instrument, but as long as I can convince myself that it sounds real, then I’ll do it. I sang those two songs and then I thought, "well I can’t just sing two songs" [laughs]… I think like this all the time… it’s boring really. "You can’t just have two songs… how about trying to do some more?" Now that I know I can sing, I’ll try and write some lyrics and see how easy that is. So, I learned another trick. I discovered, like many people I’m sure have, that with the onset of the computer, I enjoyed writing emails. And since I enjoyed composing emails, I thought, "I wonder if it works for writing lyrics?" [Laughs] I tired writing some lyrics on the computer and – sure enough – I wrote three songs in an hour… one of which was 'Angry Angry'. I thought, "this is fun!" I could finally master the song form on the next album, ‘cause there’s no rules, you see? It’s great!

You make it up as you go along.

Absolutely, you get away with it yet again. [Laughing] I’ve had a lot of encouragement, but at the beginning of 'Zoom'a I thought, "They’re all going to go, 'it’s boring!'"

You’ve influenced so any modern rock bassists, from Tom Hamilton and John Deacon of Queen to Krist Novoselic and Flea. It’s almost like, if you drew it all as a Family Tree, you’d be the father of rock bass playing. What’s that like?

Well, it’s just that they haven’t bothered to look further than me. I mean, I’m just lower down the food chain than somebody else is. It just depends on how far you want to go back, really. It’s very nice, it’s very flattering… but I’m imparting stuff that I probably learned from James Jamison and [Donald] 'Duck' Dunn and Charles Mingus. But it’s very nice [to hear that I’ve influenced somebody]. I met some guy in New Orleans on the last tour and he says, "You probably don’t remember me but I came to see you with my Dad when I was 12 years old. You really influenced me and you got me playing the bass and you told me I should practice." He was, like, in his twenties now. I asked him if he was still playing and he said yes, he was the principal bass for the New Orleans Philharmonic Symphony [laughs]. Right! Nice to meet you!

How did it happen that 'Rock & Roll' is now the theme music for a Cadillac commercial?

Ah! Because they asked us if they could use it [laughs]. Cadillac’s kind of a romantic thing – for Englishmen, especially. You think, "Pink Cadillac", and it was Elvis’s car, and it’s a Limo and it just has this aura. I don’t know whether it’s the same in America; probably not, because you have them over here all the time – you’ve lived with them [laughs]. I can see a Cadillac now, and it’s BIG, with big fins and whitewall tires. But they asked us if they could use the song, and they didn’t get it for nothing. And why not?

Do all three of you – you and Jimmy and Robert – all have to make a decision like that? It’s not like Page did it when you weren’t looking?

No, all three of us make those decisions.

Well, on one had, you can think, "Classic car, classic song", but it does kind of bother me that I hear The Who’s 'Bargain' now and instantly think of a car commercial.

Well, yeah… I haven’t actually seen the commercial yet.

Before Led Zeppelin ever came into being, you had a successful career as a session musician and arranger. How much of Zeppelin’s unique sound is owed to your work on the arrangements?

Eh… some. But then it’s equally the way Bonham approached the drums and it really was a group effort. Even if the original idea wasn’t a group effort, the final thing was a group effort. It really was, more than any band I was involved in. It was never like the songwriter ruled the band. Robert wrote the lyrics last, usually.

But there wasn’t any other band that sounded like Led Zeppelin, and there never has been since. That’s kind of a big deal when you think about it. Especially now, in this day of everybody sounding like everyone else.

That’s because people in bands these days always listen to the same music. They all start a band because they all like U2 or they all like Pearl Jam. Consequently, their field of reference is very narrow. Our field of reference was huge. Page and I were very hard working session musicians, and when you walk into a session it can be absolutely anything. Country and western, to Champion Jack Dupree, to Englebert Humperdink, to a big band session. You walk through that door and you don’t know; it could really be anything [laughs]. You name it, I’ve done it. I played weddings, I’ve played Bar Mitzvahs, I’ve done Irish weddings, Jewish weddings, Greek weddings, Italian weddings. I can play it all. Musicians these days, they don’t seem to do that anymore, and bring it all into the mix. Bonzo used to like soul music and knew the words to every Chi-Lites record, ever [laughs]. He was the biggest Smokey Robinson fan, he was into Motown, he loved The Beatles and James Brown. I was into all that soul music, jazz, and classical. Robert was really into blues and all the rock stuff and doo-wop. Page had all these other interests. It was just a huge range of influences, you could go here or there or this way or that. And that’s what I do now, with this music.

What was the dynamic like between you and John Bonham as a rock rhythm section?

Well, we weren’t like a lot of rock rhythm sections, we swung like a bastard! [laughs] Groove was extremely important in Zeppelin and it wasn’t in a lot of those bands [that were popular at the same time]. It was extremely important, which is what, to me, made the band [so great]. We used to have a lot of women at our concerts – and I loved having women at our concerts because they’d dance. [Laughing] It’s great, because the guys stand there with their arms folded and the girls are dancing. Zeppelin was great because it was music you could dance to, and you can’t say that about too many rock bands.

How did your work with Diamanda Galas on her record 'The Sporting Life' and its subsequent tour, end up affecting your own career?

Oh, wow, she’s my favorite piano player. She’s just very inspiring as an artist, she’s very passionate, very committed, always knows what she wants to do. I have several other things to thank her for; she got me playing steel guitar again, which I hadn’t done for years. She saw it in the studio and said "What’s that?" And I said, "Steel guitar", "I want to hear it." So we put it on one of her songs and we did two songs with it in her shows. It was good because it gave me some sort of "high voice" as well as being in the back playing bass. And I thought, "this is a way I can work, this is a way I can actually do a solo show without being a bass player and having other people take over all the fun stuff."

Didn’t she also inspire you to start playing live again?

Yes, she did. I mean… somebody actually said, I think this was a German interview, [the journalist] said that he thought that these records – this is interesting – that 'The Thunderthief' was the third record in a trilogy, starting with Diamanda’s record. And in fact, he’s right in that way, because that was the first time I’d tried using that sort of riff, drums and voice. A lot of people didn’t like it, but to me it was blindingly obvious. I couldn’t see why nobody had thought of it before, especially with her voice, because she has all that range and passion. Plus, her lyrics are great! These homicidal love songs are wonderful [laughs]. She came along with, "Hide the knives, baby’s insane!" [laughs]. 'Skotoseme', that first track [on 'The Sporting Life'], she did it in one take. Me and the engineer were shaking at the end of it, and she just went [adopting a woman’s voice] "Is that OK? I’m going to get myself some coffee" [laughing]. When someone suggested we work together, I could hear it all in my head. I just went [snaps fingers], "I know what we’re going to do as well." I sent her these riffs, to New York, and she sent back some ideas. Then she just turned up and stayed for two months, and we made the record. It was just brilliant. I thought, "This is great! We can do what we like again." I was just so inspired. Then she also told me – cause she’s collaborated with everybody as well – that she’d said in interviews, when they’d say, "Well, why don’t you collaborate anymore?" She’d say, "Well, I’ve put effort into everybody else’s music. If I’m going to put that much effort into music, it’s going to be my own." And I went, "Yeah!" [laughs].

She kinda scares me, to tell you the truth.

She scares us all! That’s the fun part. But she’s so committed to her music. She’s just having fun. She was great on stage one time, [laughs] there was that perfect moment in this theater in Chicago, she was there at the front of the stage and – you know how everybody shouts out song titles? – a little voice comes up in this slight lull between songs and goes "Song Remains the Same!" And she just looked at him and she goes [makes malevolent face], "No, it doesn’t, motherfucker." [Laughing] You could see the crowd part.

As a way of wrapping this up, I surely don’t have to tell you this, but thinking about how Led Zeppelin always gets the nod as the greatest hard rock or metal band of all time – on VH1 shows or magazine polls, or radio countdowns or whatever – do you think the endurance and greatness of the Led Zeppelin legend has much to do with the fact that you guys called it quits after John Bonham died, while you were still a hot item?

[Pauses] I suppose with hindsight, maybe that did have something to do with it. I mean, there was no point in carrying on, it would be a different band, because no John Bonham, no Led Zeppelin, it’s as simple as that. He was so integral, to have gotten someone else would have made it more of a tribute band, if you were playing Led Zeppelin songs, because anyone else would have to be in his shadow all the time. However, he died at a time when there was like a new lease on life, a new awakening in Zeppelin. Punk had severely embarrassed us [laughs]. We’d stripped down and just went, [shrugs] "Oh, OK, right. This is over, off we go again." It was a very hopeful time, despite the darkness of having lost John. That was terrible. So, yes, [had he not died] we would have gone on and… who knows what would have happened.

#john paul jones #jonesy #led zeppelin #robert plant #planty #jimmy page #pagey #john bonham #bonzo #60s #70s #70s rock #70s music #rock music #ourshadowstallerthanoursoul

[theproloser34]

So at the end of every year, I always find it interesting to see how my music taste has changed throughout the year. Which is why I LOVE Spotify Wrapped day and seeing what my top 5 songs of the year were. And this year, I was actually kinda surprised.

Now, it’s not wrong, I absolutely played these songs a bunch, but I wouldn’t say they were my FAVORITE songs this year. They just came out very early in the year and were able to add up plays before anything else. So that got me thinking, what were my FAVORITE songs this year? Not the ones that I played the most, but what had the most impact, whether it just be an earworm or the meaning of the song. So why not write and list them out! I like analyzing my thoughts too much.

I’ll keep my choices to just one song per artist. It'll be however many songs I wanna add. Details don’t really matter, it’s my list, I add whatever I want. Expect a VERY long posts and a lot of links to songs if you want to check them out. (DO IT. I swear I have good music taste.)

1) First off, I gotta start with DO BETTER by Ab-Soul off of his latest album HERBERT. Ab-Soul has been in my top 5 rappers probably for the past decade and my second favorite of TDE other than Kendrick. HERBERT was his most personal album to date, and nothing shows that better than DO BETTER. A lot of his album is inspired by the events that happened in his life during the pandemic including one of his best friends dying and his own failed suicide attempt and his subsequent trip to rehab. You can easily hear all the pain and survivor's guilt he has, but also the determination to turn around and come out stronger. The instrumentation is both extremely haunting and calming. I always come out of this feeling inspired to deal with my own issues. The line "I gotta do better, I gotta do better, I guided you better. There's nothing they can do that I can't do better. Better yet, there's nothing I can do that I can't do better. Yeah, I'm better," never stops giving me chills.

2) I've been slowly getting into EDM these past couple years. And one big part of my learning of the genre is Skrillex, who came back and surprise dropped TWO albums in TWO days. And both were really good albums that showed multiple different styles of EDM. Whether you prefer more dark and grungy beats like the songs in Quest For Fire, or if you rather have more bright, poppy sounds in Don't Get Too Close, there will be something for you in these two albums. The song that most stood out to me though was a good mix of the two with the opener for Quest For Fire, Leave Me Like This. The standout part of this song is the earworm of a vocal hook, which gives a wonderful strong melodic element to the song. Combined with the synths creates a strong hypnotic pre-drop section for the song. Of course the drop contains the more grungy parts of the song, especially the growly bass the introduces the drop of the song. But my favorite part of this section tis the repeated, pitched up "left, right, left" chant helps keep the rhythmic center in the song as the drums get more complex in the drop. Even if you don't enjoy EDM music, I'd listen to Skrillex's new releases because you get such a different arrangement of sounds and really see his versatility.

3) Anyone who knows me knows that I have been horribly addicted to hyperpop these past three years and it is definitely unhealthy to my ear drums. And 100 gecs has absolutely been in my top 3 hyperpop artists since they came out. So when they announced they were releasing an album this year, it was instantly one of my most anticipated albums of this year. And they absolutely delivered with 10000 Gecs. They continue to create inventive music with the same brashness, humor, and insanity that drew me to them in the first place. And I'd say this album is just slightly less abrasive to new fans than their past album. Nothing anywhere near as crazy as Money Machine, but all of the tracks contain the unique brand of energy and mix of hip-hop, rock, and pop, with and added element of ska on some songs like I Got My Tooth Removed and Frog On The Floor. But my favorite has to go to the opener of this album, Dumbest Girl Alive. Right away with the first 15 seconds, you can tell they're back on their bullshit with the opening guitar riff and gunshot impacts. And as soon as the drums come in, you get their wonderful blown out sound where I can't help but turn up my speakers to the max. But the obvious standout of this track is Laura Les's performance of this track. A super catchy melody, an earworm of a recurring phrase, "I'm the dumbest girl alive," and multiple quotable lines create a great verse. Plus the bouncy bass continuing with it creates such a wonderful short track that makes me just want to keep repeating it over and over again.

4) The more music I listen to, the more I am drawn to the weird, more eclectic styles of music. Especially with hip-hop, with so much getting made, only the really unique stuff sticks out to me now. Luckily that's the exact type of music Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA make and together they made one of the best hip-hop albums of this year with Scaring The Hoes. And this music will, in fact, scare the hoes.

JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown are already well known in the Abstract Hip-hop genre, each being strongly characterized by their unique self-production and unique delivery respectively. Both of them have their own unique strength and coming together, they create a landscape of sounds and tracks that you will not hear on any other hip-hop album this year. As has become pretty evident, I'm a sucker for intros. And this album is no different because the intro, Lean Beef Patty, is easily my favorite from this album and was also in my top 5 songs played this year. Even though this song is just 2 minutes, it contains my favorite things about both artists. A sped up sample almost drowned out by the rest of the production, a signature of JPEGMAFIA production. Brash, bold lyrics from JPEGMAFIA such as "Fuck y'all niggas, I feel like Papa John," and "Fuck Elon Musk, eight dollars too much," which honestly just became the slogan for the year. Finally Danny Brown's energy and delivery give an exciting final verse to this song. And wonderful way to start one of the best albums of the year.

5) A group that came out of nowhere for me was grouptherapy. grouptherapy. is a music group consisting of Jadagrace, TJOnline, and SWIM. Their new album "i was mature for my age, but i was still a child" popped up randomly in my Spotify and I was surprised by the quality of there sounds, their charisma, and their chemistry. Each artist clearly has their own style that fits well with the other two and they all trade off so well in each of their tracks, which is essential to a good group dynamic.

Their new album has multiple standouts that show all of the groups' talents such as American Psycho and FUNKFEST. But my personal favorite off of this album is "club song :(" where Jadagrace takes the front stage in a mainly acoustic guitar song. Her voice is allowed to take a front seat and it creates a striking and kinda haunting melody. TJOnline joins in the latter half of the song to add some well added harmony to the song. This was the song that I kept coming back to from this project. Check this group out, cause they should have much more buzz than they have now.

6) Every once in a while, you'll be at a concert and you'll see an opening act that completely surprises you. And then afterwards, you slowly see them gaining more and more clout as they slowly grow to superstardom. That happened to me with Jordan Ward. I had the opportunity to see him perform and a JID x Smino concert as the opener and he absolutely impressed with his energy and singing.

I forgot about him until he released the deluxe version of him latest album FORWARD. I remembered his name and decided to listen finally and he has everything to be one of the next RnB stars. Since then, his album is one a bunch of top albums of the year lists and has even had a NPR tiny desk concert.

My favorite of his so far is MUSTARD. The guitar arpeggiating the chords, the slightly pitched up vocals, and live played drums on this track just work in the best way. 6lack also joins and adds a great second verse. Listen to him, he's gonna be up next soon and you'll want to see his rise.

7) Finally, there's the artist of the year for me, Underscores. I've known of them for a while, but only REALLY got into their music this year. I devoured their last two albums and have been playing them on repeat all year until she announced her new album Wallsocket. It was easily my most anticipated album this year and luckily it exceeded all expectations.

Underscores is a very hard artist to describe because she was one of the hyperpop classic artists but has evolved her sound beyond that. There is still some of that overblown hip-hop, dance pop sound around her music, but there is also more of what I'd say is folk rock in there now with this album. Either way, she still manages to produces some of the most unique soundscapes that I've heard this year.

All three of her singles that she released were in completely different areas. The rock focused "Cops and Robbers", the creepy, slow, and uncomfortable "You don't even know who I am", or the dance EDM focused "Locals (Girls like us)" had be so confused about what the sound of the album would be like. All it did was build up the hype and so I HAD to watch the livestream of the album on release day. And that is easily on of my favorite memories of the year, freaking out with the chat as we uncovered how good of an album this is.

While every song on this project is wonderful, the song the immediately attached itself to my brain was "Uncanny long arms". The song structure here is just hypnotizing to me. The quiet opening of the song going into the first chorus and the first "I can touch my toes" belt is forever into my mind. And the vocal stuttering and breakdown afterwards let me know this song was special immediately but it only gets better.

Jane Remover has a standout second verse on this song and her voice sounds angelic and just floats over the guitar. She had an amazing year in her own career and this song is a standout moment. Her turn on the chorus is even better with added instrumentation and the pure emotion you hear in her voice.

But easily the favorite part of this track to me is the outro, which to long underscores fans will be no surprise. The song being stripped down before jumping right into a bombastic, more rock version of "Kinko's field trip" brought me right back to 2021 and I damn near screamed hearing this on the live stream. Easily my favorite music moment and favorite song of this year. Listen to underscores everyone, you won't regret it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I don't have anywhere near as much to say about these songs, but I still want to bring them up because they're fun and were big parts of this year for me.

Stasis - leastfavorite!: Discovered her this year and she is another hyperpop artist that I think deserves more recognition. She released her first EP late last year so listen to it!

nothing2say - Jay Kim: Another artist I discovered this year but released an EP last year. Not really hyperpop, more midwest emo vibes with a little bit of brakence vibes with him. But another album that I'm excited to see grow after listening to them this year.

Damage Gets Done - Hozier: I shouldn't have to say this on this website, but Hozier is a pretty good artist. I listened to the new album he dropped this year and this duet was a standout to me and just couldn't get out of my head.

Maybe Man - AJR: As we now know, I'm a sucker for openers, and damn, is AJR good at them. They always make them fit the themes and sounds of the albums so well. "Maybe Man" is no exception. Probably would've made it onto the favorites list is it came out sooner.

Alright that's it. This post is long enough. Please listen to them! I swear they're good! And I promised not to always talk about music this long! (It's still gonna happen sometimes though. I'm sorry, I can't stop myself.) Also please share your favorite songs! I love seeing people's music tastes and what really connects with them!

#music #long post #ab soul #ajr #100 gecs #jpegmafia #skrillex #danny brown #hozier #jay kim #underscores #jordan ward #grouptherapy! #top 2023 #Spotify #leastfavorite! #why did I write so much

[freddieraimbow74]

4 June 1977 - Freddie Mercury interview with ‘Sounds’ is published 📰

QUEEN - It’s nice to indulge in a bit of debauchery

Apparently Freddie Mercury can be arrogant, boorish, mock-camp, difficult, are inescapable adjectives when reading past clippings. Mercury has not been treated kindly by the press. On his doorstep, I await audience. The first interview with a British music paper since September of last year. A momentous occasion. Will he be unbearable? Anticlimactically — and thankfully—he isn’t. Not at all.

Mercury is a very surprising man. He reclines in the small, high walled garden on a pink flower-pattered sofa. He is wearing red satin jockey shorts and a Cinzano T-shirt. And he will talk for two hour and a half hours. None of the artistic recalcitrance one almost expects from a man with those impossibly aloof cheekbones. In fact, he rarely allows a question to finish before answering. Occasionally he rambles and loses track of the original conversation subject but that does little to chip his credentials as enthusiastic, chatty, fascinating.

Mercury is also not a man to be restricted to just music in his subject matter. Long after the interview tape runs out he discourses on his other loves—Japan, Nijinsky (the dancer, not the horse) ballet. He rushes me upstairs to show me a book on Nijinsky— “So ahead of his time.” — and pointing to an astonishing costume: It’s just like the dancer’s. “Can you believe, that.”

His Japanese woodcuts, he enthuses, are his pride and joy. And Japan, well, “you wouldn’t believe it darling.” He talks of the astonishing Sumo wrestlers who have a life expectancy of thirty, are treated like gods, and weigh around twenty five stone. He talks of meeting Mr. Sony the man who makes Sumo the hi fi stuff, whose real name isn’t Sony. He talks of the unbearable pompous British ambassador.

Switching to the subject of food, as he picks at his pepper-cheese salad, Mercury grimaces as he remembers being served baby turtles in one restaurant, with the shells intact: “I mean you just couldn’t, could you?” He mentions an Australian steak house where they killed a cow every day on the premises as part of the floor show. “But then, you want to hear about Queen, don’t you?” 😂

“Listen, Queen are changing. The big production jobs, months and months in the studio. It’s ending. They’re pissed off. Freddie shifts graceful and bares his teeth. The time has come. We’re all fed up to the teeth, to be honest, with the so-called production things. We do take a lot of care and get the tag for being an over produced band. We’re finicky of course. But we’ve done to death the production jobs, we have saturated this multi-tracked album thing. We want something different. We went over the top in the past. But in some places we wanted to. We had to God …”

Freddie pronounces “god” as if it contained three aitches, like …

“Gohhhd. Being indulgent is a wonderful thing. And in lots of cases we were self indulgent. Certain songs require that sort of pompous affair, you know, the works. We feel, why not? Do it! A lot of people are scared to do it. Not is. For us, it worked.”

“We are so aware of over producing. We are in control of what we’re doing. But, we’re fed up to the teeth with it. I don’t want to spend four months in the studio again, it takes up too much time. Gohhhd knows what’s going to happen in the future now. We really don’t know what the fuck is going to happen.“

Hearing Freddie say ‘fuck’ is something like witnessing Queen Elizabeth farting; sharply out of image. Predictable, Freddie is not.

“… All I know is we’re not going to spend that much time in the studio. We’re going to write songs that do not require that kind of attention. I think it’s the logical step — that sounds so boring, doesn’t it?”

The implications for the band are vast and vague. As Freddie has already admitted, he just doesn’t know what’s going to happen. But he’s preparing anyhow.

“For the first time in ages, I’ve actually done things outside Queen, which I need to, my gohhhd, for my own sanity. I have my own production company now and have signed someone to it, Peter Straker. It’s nice to produce an album for him. I want to do a bit more with this outlet, I have to now or I’d never get another chance. It’s good to step out of Queen, mould and look at it in perspective which is something I’ve never had the chance to do before. It’s very refreshing. I have learnt so much more in dealing with another artist, I’ve really learnt how to do a quicker album.”

“Before, we were spoilt, we had all the financial support. One can get a big blase. Now we are going to write the new album in three weeks and in the studio we can approach it with a different kind of discipline”

Spoilt. An interesting reference. “We are. We like being spoiled. We work hard for it. I love being pampered, but I do feel that — It’s very boring. I know, — we are aware of being spoiled. It’s nice to indulge in a bit of debauchery. You might go overboard now and then, well so WHAT? We’re not little school kids. If We were all goody two shoes and perfectly disciplined — it just wouldn’t be right.”

The pretty girl with the blonde hair comes smiling to the sofa and graciously interrupts to ask if we want any drinks. Apparently, asking Mercury if he’s gay elicits the stock response of “as a daffodil, dear.” A fan club leaflet lists his hobbies as “poovery.” He plays the part gorgeously. A joke, naturally, the pretty girl is Mary Austin. Mercury has a cup of tea and asks if I want any salad. I decline, and continue to pick at a large tray of enormous cashews on the sofa.

“Are you sure,” he adds, worriedly. Polite. Charming. Why is Freddie acting so curiously? I mean, he didn’t always. How come the change?

“I’m getting old. 30. It, um, worries me. People do change. F***ing hell, don’t you expect me to change, do you expect me to be the sort of adolescent black-finger-nailed boy that was running around …. I have to mature, have different ideas and a different outlook.”

You had a bad image.

“What do you mean, bad?”

Vain. Arrogant.

“Being vain isn’t bad. Arrogant … yes, but it’s … If I started worrying, then that would be my downfall. You’ve got to take the plunge.”

“I did things in a genuine way. Just because I was arrogant, viscous, onstage, people just took that as me, but it’s my stage personality. But, I did get a bit hyper-sensitive, with the type of people that spring up from everywhere when you become a success. Another reason why everybody felt I was aloof. I’m easing off a bit now because I’m coming to terms with it but there were times when I felt … it all happened very quickly for us remember … times I felt it was closing in. We were certainly getting ripped off, with the whole Trident thing. It’s so commonplace.”

The Trident thing is a reference to Queen’s management company for the first three albums. Trident, who Mercury has in the past called rather pointedly, “a load of shit”. The band say they were still living on £50 a week with two hit albums. They parted ways with the company, but it left its scars.

“It brought on things I never realised … trust became a very funny word. I felt that anybody who approached me, I kept my defences up. It became very hard to trust anyone, even the key people. If we had been lesser beings that would have been the end. And we learned fast. We learned fucking fast, I tell you. We developed such a different outlook, it took us apart. I had to start looking at things on different levels. Everyone has to do that or they get devoured by these bloody sharks! Emotionally it has a lot of effect. I’ve been with Mary for years … it’s not easy … out of sight, out of mind, that sort of thing. There’s a lot of friction. I’m not the easiest person to get a long with and it’s created a lot of problems. Tempers will flare, I’m just a very emotional musician.”

That emotionalism has often seemed to manifest itself in an aura that separates Mercury from the rest of the band, a man apart, a non-mixer. Brian May has admitted that after seven years, he hardly knows the lead singer.

“It’s true to a certain extent. I want my privacy, and I feel I’ve given a lot for it. It’s like Greta Garbo, isn’t it, Virgo, same star sign. I vahnt to be ahlohhhn. Sometimes you want to hide. That was interpreted as he, wants to be aloof, he’s arrogant …”

“I do keep to myself. I get bored very easily. With all the things I wanted came a lot of unforeseen problems — I mean, Brian not knowing me, it’s very true in a way. We’ve grown … we’ve gained a lot of experience together. But, we’ve got to do different things. Oh gohhhd. We’re all sick to death … I mean after travelling for four and a half months on the road. We don’t mix socially that much. We feel that we need to be away from each other so that it’s a challenge when we do come back together.”

On guitar heroes, Mercury idolises Jimi Hendrix. “I’ve made no effort to become a guitar hero because I can’t play the fucking guitar (Well, Freddie, but you can). I’ve tried, but not onstage, yet, anyway.

And of course, their namesake — Queen.

“The Jubilee’s quite fun, isn’t it. I love the Queen, I’m very patriotic. I love all this pomp, of course I do. I love it. She does outrageous things.”

The man from his management company suggests it’s time to wind up matters. Freddie ignores him to whisk me upstairs to see his collection of photographs from Japan, including a snapshot of Mr. Sony — “now what was his real name.”

The man positively bubbles, he explodes gently all over the place. He is surrounded by his belongings, on his terms. He is in control!

“That’s the trouble with me,” he muses. “If I’m going to do something, I approach it with both barrels blasting. I’m trying to live three times. My life is so saturated with so many things, it’s coming out of my ears. I created a monster!”

Extracted from ‘Sounds’ interview by Tim Lott

Published 4 June 1977

The pictures are from this publication

#freddie mercury #queen band #j’adore #brian may #jhon deacon #roger taylor #musique #music #original character #queen

[slutforstabbings-archive]

now i’m super curious, what’s ur hcs for alt!corey?

Alt!Corey Cunningham HC's

prompted by the conversation started here. Sorry this took so long!

tagging @rebel-blue @nachtmahr666 @vanellygal I never know who all to tag so if you want me to tag you specifically every time, please lmk!

Music:

Corey grew up listening to the radio and whatever music Joan put on. His mom is probably in her early 50’s in the movie, and she seems like one of those people who is terrible but likes and uses sweet nice wholesome things to hide behind, so she probably only listened to squeaky clean and boring pop music, and I think that would start Corey on a path towards heavy music, distorted music, music with dark themes, anything other than what Joan liked. He finds a lot of pop music to be insincere and he hates that.

WURG seems like an oddball station from what we hear of it in the movie and what it’s mentioned as playing in the book, so Corey definitely likes some punk and metal and garage just from the radio. But he doesn’t really know that’s what it is, genres and subcultures are kind of lost on him. And he doesn’t really realize he only knows music that’s 35-60 years old.

Personally as someone who grew up listening to a lot of oldies radio specifically, I know they’re really bad about identifying old songs cause they think you know the artist and title already. So I’m gonna go ahead and say for a lot of his life Corey doesn’t know the name or artist of most of the songs he likes, and he probably doesn’t realize he likes multiple songs from the same artist, so he doesn't have a favorite band. He has to learn to dig into a catalog and listen to full albums as an adult because that was never something he was introduced to as a child.

His mom obviously put heavy parental controls on his computer time, looked through his browser history, etc so I don’t think he was really able to explore his music taste probably until he got a smart phone and more privacy in his internet usage, which wouldn’t have been until he was an adult. I think Joan would have wanted him to have a phone so she could call him but would’ve kept him with a non-smart phone with no data until it basically wasn’t an option anymore, so he got his first smart phone when he was probably like 17-19, and that’s when his music exploration could really begin.

Even pre-accident Corey is sad and lonely and angry so he’s drawn to those lyrical themes. He has very angsty taste. But he also likes interesting time signatures and weird textures. He's a math and science guy and he thinks it's really cool when musicians approach their craft in a mathematical or experimental way. Post- Michael I think Corey recedes into the heaviest and most anguished parts of his music taste. Songs that used to make him cry, songs that pump him up, songs that he used to imagine were written for people much more badass than him, whatever that might be. Devastating vocal delivery, heart wrenching lyrics, chugging guitars, all three if he can get them.

BAND LIST (trying to go with the most popular examples so you can get the gist of the aesthetic I’m picturing lol):

From the Radio - Rolling Stones, Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, The Clash, Talking Heads, all the obvious legacy early metal and punk bands. 

Pre-Accident - American Football, Sunny Day Real Estate, Hum, Modest Mouse, Smashing Pumpkins, Descendents, Brand New, New Order, Mazzy Star, The Smiths, Hella

Post-Accident, Pre-Michael - Grunge big 4, but his favorite is Pearl Jam, Pixies, Melvins, Tool, Joy Division, Deftones, Sonic Youth, I Hate Sex, Garbage, Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails

Post- Michael - Electric Wizard, Windhand, clipping., Lingua Ignota, Full of Hell

Fashion:

I see a lot of different ages thrown around for how long Corey's mom dressed him, but novelization canon is he started dressing himself at 13. I think it's definitely still the case that his mom buys and picks out most of his clothes for a long time, but I think he slowly wears her down on letting him pick things until his wardrobe is mostly his choices filtered through her. But because of that filter it's still never quite him.

When the other kids started getting into subcultures, Corey watched with envy. He didn't have a particular favorite style, and he wouldn't have known what to call it if he did, he just liked the idea that you could say something to the world with your clothes, and draw people who agreed with you to you and push people who didn't away. The idea that you could form a community around how you dress. All he wants is community.

Corey's never really considered tattoos or piercings because he knows his mother would absolutely lose her mind if he "damaged" himself that way. The only thing he's thought of is that his dad had a tattoo of a duck, so maybe he could get a tattoo of a duck in the same place. I think that if Corey was more interested in tattoos than that , pre-accident he would be a black linework only kind of guy, he wants to be an engineer, he likes the kind of sparse, design-y, almost technical drawing aspect of plain linework tattoos. Post-accident, pre-Michael, he' definitely an American Traditional/Neo-Trad guy. It's straight forward, it's classic, it's low-key. Post-Michael Corey is the kind of guy who gets big blackout stripes or brush strokes for the experience. Because blackouts hurt and because they make people, even other tattooed people, say why the fuck would you get that? Post-Michael Corey would also so get a prince albert sorry.

I can't see him wearing make up, even just eyeliner. Seems too pretty for him I guess, like he's an aesthetically simple guy in a lot of ways, and presents in such a casual masculine way, it just doesn't seem like him. But I can see him painting his nails black every once in a while. Not any other colors but black for sure.

#corey cunningham #halloween ends #corey cunningham headcanons #thoughts #mine #ask

[lovesongbracket]

PRELIMINARY ROUND A - Match 12

This is a nomination round. The top songs across ALL preliminary round polls will become our 64 competitors in Round 1.

Note: It’s about the song, not the recording. The artists/specific tracks provided are either the original, most popular, or suggested by a submitter. If you prefer a different version, a cover of the song, you like the song but not the artist etc, don’t let that deter you.

Youtube videos of all songs & submitter notes are under the cut.

505 - Arctic Monkeys

IF HE DOESNT CRUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN I CRY THEN I DONT FUCKING WANT HIM THIS SONG IS LITERALLY LOVE SONG GOLDEN STANDARD LIKE I COULD SCREAM THAT PART UNTIL MY VOCAL CORDS GIVE OUT AND EVEN THEN ID TRY TO KEEP GOING

As Long as You're Happy - Cub Sport

Oh boy. Okay so the love story behind this song is A Lot. Here's a link to the tumblr post i made about it a few years ago😊 [pasted from the link:] ...they were kids who grew up queer in the same conservative town and they were 17 and spent every single day together sam quit his jobs and left school so they could be together all the time but they were just friends and when they FNALLY (finally!) came out to each other about being gay and gay for each other specifically THEY WERE EACH OTHERS FIRST!KISS! and they dated in secret for a full year and lived together with their dog but tim was still so full of shame over how he felt and who he was he said “we should just be friends” and get girlfriends and be everything our families want us to be.  and then they started a fucking band together?!?!?! THREE! YEARS! of making music and being so painfully in love and pretending not to be but also growing into themselves as their own people and getting to a place of tentative self acceptance so that when tim started to share his demos for the next album sam was in a place he could actually hear what tim was saying and he was saying “what if i died tomorrow and i never told you you were the one i was living for” and they came out to the world together and now they’re fucking MARRIED!!!!  these two assholes learned to love themselves and be ready for the love they had fallen into 8 years ago and told each other through the music they make together and you can just ?? listen ????? to this whole love story over three albums of immaculate indie elctro-pop gloriousness ??!?!?!??!?!?!

Come What May - from Moulin Rouge

I'm partial to the Glee version, personally, but absolutely not picky between the OG movie, Glee, or Broadway versions

Electric Love - BØRNS

I Choose You - Sara Bareilles

Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA

Lily - Daisuke Ishiwatari feat. Naoki Hashimoto

Emotional power ballad about how the singer loves their partner so much they just want their partner to move on with their life instead of wasting their life waiting for them and it makes me really sad

Only You - Cheat Codes & Little Mix

Stand By Me - Ben E. King

Touch - Shura

#polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #tournament #bracket #lovesongbracket #preliminarya

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Spotify steals from artists, a Spotify exclusive

In our next book, Chokepoint Capitalism, Rebecca Giblin and I set out to shatter the false binary that creative workers can only choose between rooting for Big Tech or Big Content, as if one flavor of monopolist will be better for us than the other. No company epitomizes the hopelessness of this approach more than Spotify.

You’ve probably heard about the pathetic sums that creators earn from the Spotify streaming, often blamed on the tech industry’s unwillingness to pay creators what they’re worth. Maybe you’ve also heard the rebuttal — that Spotify pays plenty to entertainment companies, but they intercept this money before it can get into creators’ pockets.

That right there is the false binary — either Spotify is cheap, or the Big Three record labels are greedy. But what if — and hear me out here — Spotify is cheap and the Big Three are greedy? What if Spotify and the labels are actually colluding to rip off the “talent”? What if neither kind of monopolist is good for artists, and no matter how much we love them, they’ll never truly love us back?

That’s the thesis of Chapter 5 of Chokepoint Capitalism, where we get into eye-watering detail on how Spotify and the Big Three work together to transfer value from creative workers to their own shareholders. We explain how the labels took ownership stakes in Spotify and then conspired to suppress creative wages so the company would seem more profitable in the runup to Spotify’s IPO, which made billions for the labels. We show how the labels and Spotify colluded to ensure that billions more in royalty payments were “unattributed” and thus not owed to any specific artist. We document how the payment system that Spotify and the labels cooked up does not even reward artists on the basis of how often their work is streamed — and how that deal was rammed down the throats of every indie label through the “most favored nation” status that Spotify guaranteed the Big Three.

It’s a hell of a tale, a breakdown of scams like the sleazy accounting tricks used to halve the royalty rates that artists got when Spotify IPOed, and it even has a hero: Taylor Swift, who used her negotiating power to demand Universal Music give a better deal to everyone on its label.

But Taylor Swift alone can’t save us (though some of her fans might take a different view!). Her act of solidarity is no structural fix — no more than, say, Joe Rogan’s $100,000,000 Spotify payday is.

Rogan’s eye-popping deal has precious little to do with everyday creators’ livings — he’s like the guy that gets to win a giant teddy bear at the carnival midway game in the morning and then totes it around conspicuously for the rest of the day, luring other suckers to try their luck.

We wrote this book to discuss how every creative worker can get a better deal, with half the book given over to detailed, shovel-ready proposals for local, state and national laws, regulations, business opportunities, new technologies and other ways to smash open those chokepoints.

Once the book comes out on Sept 27, you’ll be able to read all of Chapter 5, and its companion, Chapter 6 (“Why Spotify Wants You To Rely On Playlists”) (spoiler: because it lets them lock in listeners, unlike albums, which are the same everywhere, and it lets them rip off artists by demanding payola).

You’ll also be able to listen to the audio edition of those chapters, of course, though you won’t be able to get it on Audible, Amazon’s monopoly audiobook store. The only part of the book available on Audible is Chapter 13, “Transparency Rights,” an “Audible Exclusive” that explains in similar detail how Audible steals from creators and locks in listeners:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/07/audible-exclusive/#audiblegate

However, if you’re a Spotify user, you can listen to the audio edition of Chapter 5 today, because it is a Spotify Exclusive — and, as with our Audible exclusive, it’s the only part of the audiobook you can get on Spotify (the part of the book that explains what a titanic ripoff Spotify is for artists):

https://open.spotify.com/show/7oLW9ANweI01CVbZUyH4Xg

(Go ahead, give it a listen! — Stefan Rudnicki does an incredible job with the narration).

As our Spotify chapter shows, avoiding the chokepoints in chokepoint capitalism is really, really hard — and every one of those chokepoints exists to pick artists’ pockets. That’s why we’re Kickstarting the audio edition, in a crowdfunder that’s now broken the $100,000 mark. You’ve still got a few days left to back it and join our supporters, who’ve pre-ordered hundreds of print books, and thousands of ebooks and audibooks, as well as donating hundreds of copies to libraries:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/chokepoint-capitalism-an-audiobook-amazon-wont-sell

You can also meet us in person; we’re going on the road with the book, starting next Friday, with an event in Toronto at Type Books in the Junction. From there, we move on to New York, LA, San Francisco, and beyond:

https://authorsinterest.org/tour/

[Image ID: The cover for Chokepoint Capitalism, superimposed with a black banner reading, 'Chapter 5: Why Streaming Doesn't Pay (A Spotify Exclusive!)']

#pluralistic

[thegoldenavenger]

okay, since my friend said he was cheering me on, here’s part one of the taylor swiftening.

context: i have a couple friends who are swifties. i heard a lot of her earlier music on country radio, but i never listened to her albums, etc, before. I know very little about her personal or professional life since i dont follow celebrity gossip

anyways, the swifties i know are wildly into, like interpreting her lyrics and red stringing things together and i think it’d be fun if someone who was vaguely outside the loop got in on the fun? IDK i’m bored and was sick for like 7 days.

there’s definitely some songs I already know: teardrops on my guitar, my song, that cheerleader song, shake it off, etc. mostly her singles? but i havent heard a lot of her recent stuff at all. 

Today we are listening to Taylor Swift’s first album Taylor Swift from 2006. I couldn’t really find a great place to listen to her music, but I found a track list and compared it to spotify’s album and decided to go with spotify’s version. first off, the tracklist I found showed 12 songs (with Tim McGraw opening and closing the album???) The spotify album has 15 songs one of which is Tears On My Guitar - Pop Version? So that’s what I’m listening to. 

Looking at the tracklist, which I didn’t really want to get too into, I noticed a handful of songs I recognized: Teardrops on my Guitar, Our Song, Tim McGraw. I wasn’t sure about the rest, but I decided to dive on in.

The first song is Tim McGraw which I don’t really remember hearing when I was younger but I’ve heard my swiftie friends talk about it.  And listening to the opening cords I realized I did remember it from bus rides to school. fun.  Anyways, Tim McGraw is a country artist, already knew that, but the song isn’t about him it’s about his song being like, a backdrop to a breakup??? I think it’s a very bold move for the first song of your first album to be like “when you think of this established musician please think of me instead”. very bold, love it.

it does have the unfortunate effect of immediately making me recall like, every Tim McGraw song I’ve ever heard trying to place what song she’s talking about is instead of, like, listening to her music. 

I really like the classic country style this song is in.  Not just the way the song is constructed and like, the music and instruments but the imagery. Very classic, “country boy, country girl, country romance” vibes.

These lyrics remind me of Dierks Bentleys “What was I thinking” from 2003, just like the very classic “we’re driving in the back woods in a truck maybe getting up to trouble” vibes haha. 

The story telling is kind of hard to follow for me here, and I’m not sure why.  I assumed this was like her breakup, but then she says it was three summers back that she never send a letter... so is this september tears unrelated? she directly relates the summer from three years ago to be a bittersweet. i’m not sure if i’m just hearing or interpreting it wrong or if the way this is structure is actually confusing but yeah, i guess i at least got that she is establishing a break up happened.

it’s nice that after this verse you get the second chorus where she puts a little bite into the “think of me” part.  like, it’s not all emphasis sweet nostalgia there’s a touch of that bitter in her voice. it’s fun.

i didn’t realize that the song (or at least chorus) was the letter, so that’s nice. although, it’s a weird letter out of context, haha.  i’d hate that.  i know that it’s a a pretty common phenomenon for people to relate specific events and even people to specific songs so that if something bad happens or a breakup happens they can’t enjoy that song or music anymore and i think that’s terrible. sucks for them but i’m built different and manage to ignore any shitty connotations to my favorite songs haha

so if i got a letter that was basically trying to pavlov associate my ex with like, a big music star i’m definitely going to hear all the time i would die. 

anyways, that’s probably the point right? it’s at this point that i realised it was like an actual break up song and not a sad like “we used to be together” song?? IDK i definitely did not get that when i was listening to it on the radio as a kid. i mostly just heard “Tim McGraw” and was like “why is she singing about Tim McGraw”

I do like that the song opens and closes on bookends! I love cycles! It’s one of my favorite tropes, so it was cute here.

The second track is Picture to Burn, which I didn’t recognize at first, but upon listening to it I definitely recognize. Now this is a break up song.

ajflkda okay hold on i

ajfdklaf NOW I remember hearing this on the bus and being like gay? did she say gay?

why is the syllable scheme different? oh it’s the shifted and...

i’m not sure i’m for that rewrite, haha. it’s like disney editing out their racist cartoons but still showing them without the context??? HRMM.

anyways. I’m not sure I should interpret the songs as a narrative together but i’m going to because it’s funny to hear her go from like, nostalgia

to

it’s very funny. i love it.

The chorus here is very fun to sing a long to, I think, if you’re the kind of person who likes singing along to things.  I really like the “watch me strike a match [...] you’re just another picture to burn” it’s really nice set up and pay off.  i guess songs don’t have to do this but it’s nice to have the actions set up cleverly. “you’re just another picture to burn” is a good phrase, drawing on solid imagery already ingrained in society, but supporting it with other lines is a nice touch. 

I don’t think there were any lines that stood out to me like that in Tim McGraw.

This is exceedingly country ;v; it made me laugh.

I really like the backing instrumentals for this song a lot. The twang is just Good.

Unfortunately this is one of those songs that is just the chorus like 12 times.  Which is fine because the chorus is really good and breakups songs usually do that because that’s the point of catharsis or whatever but there’s not much else for me to say. 

The next song is Teardrops on My Guitar. looking at the “radio single remix” i am apprehensive that the lyrics arent going to match again....

I remember this song from school bus rides as well. i really like the melody and the concept of this song (teardrops on a guitar is just nice imagery) but it’s kind of ruined because there was a boy in school named drew and i could NOT divorce the song from him every time i heard it.

funnily enough, i lowkey wanted to be friends with drew but he was so nice it kind of scared me off.  anyways back to the song.

I really like the way these lines are written and sung, it’s one of those parts of the songs you want to sing a long with. 

This chorus is also really good, i love the imagery it conjures.  like, yes he’s why i cry in my room alone practicing my guitar, but he’s also why i look up at night and hope tomorrow will be a better day and he’s also like an annoying song stuck in my head (affectionately).

actually out of all of this “He’s the song in the car I keep singing” was something I didn’t remember from hearing it as a kid and it’s also the line i was really drawn to here. what does it mean! i know what it means, but what a wild metaphor to pull out in the middle of a fairly straight-forward song. 

At first I wondered why these songs were ordered this way but there’s enough cohesive imagery that I picked it up around here. Tim McGraw and Picture to burn are both break up songs, but the connections from Picture to Burn “watch me strike a match / on all my wasted time” to this “he’s the time taken up, but there’s never enough” is really interesting!!!

love the theme that time is wasted / time doesnt last long enough.

time is such a wonky construct like, you just perceive time differently depending on not only your own emotions and mood but also like... how fast you’re going. wild. 

This song also ends on book ends!

It’s kind of sad, I kind of wish she just maybe talked to him instead of pretending everything was fine. Yoooo that’s why he doesn’t know you like him.... you didn’t tell him. you’re over here going “yeah it’s fine” but! he’s not a mind reader hahah.

The next song is A Place in this World, which I do not.... recall... so I’ll cut this post here and start there later.

[edit: part two is here] [chronological here]

#long post #the swiftening #taylor swift live blog #i guess?

[hellfirehaley]

Strange Love: Chapter Two

AN: Thank you so much for all the love I received last week on chapter one. I tried to punch this out as quickly as possible for yall because I have so many ideas for this story. I just got Halloween costumes finalized for chapter 7 so I hope y’all are ready for that. Please let me know what you think about the story or what your favorite part is or what line really hit you. My inbox is ALWAYS open and if you wanna be on the taglist, just let me know and I’ll add you. Word count: 5705

September 4th, 1985

It had been a few weeks since school started and it was just like last year. It was the first football game of the season in a few days and the entire school was buzzing with Tiger Pride. You, on the other hand, were dealing with pressure from your mom about getting involved and going to the home games with your friends (since they had to attend for band requirements) but all you wanted to do on a Friday night is watch tv, eat junk food with your friends and Norm. What’s the point of watching a team chase after a ball for three hours? The only new change in your school routine was Eddie You guys became buddies in class, exchanging musical notes and giving each other new songs to discover.

 School Daze by W.A.S.P was up your alley completely, to the point where you listened to the album four times beginning to end. Eddie, on the other hand, listened to Live Wire six times just because you liked it so much and he could’ve sworn he heard some punk in there just like you had said. He assigned you Black Sabbath’s Paranoid album (which you already owned) so you listened harder and found yourself attracted to the psychedelic metal sound. You assigned Eddie the Road to Ruin album from the Ramones since it was an album you knew from front to back. You were very interested to hear his opinion about something “so not metal.” 

Outside of your swapping of musical knowledge, you found yourself saying hi to him every time you saw him in the halls or asking how your day was going in the middle of the day because he was actually curious. He was so different than you expected and you were glad.

He could say the same for you. He expected you to be standoffish or passive but you were so warm and welcoming. You didn’t ignore him in public or pretend he didn’t exist. You treated him like a normal guy, not the school freak. He couldn’t remember the last time someone did that for him besides his close friends.

It was sixth period and O’Donnell was droning on about the reading she did of some sonnets but your mind was elsewhere. Your brain was on last period’s photo assignment. You had to find an interesting subject/ model you hadn’t used before and that alone scared you since you were already a pretty diverse artist who usually did naturescapes, still life and manmade photography. You had a few portraits under your belt using Ali and Norm as your models but it really wasn’t your forte.

You were deep in thought thinking about concepts when someone threw a note at your desk landing right in front of you. You open it and smile. You could tell it was Eddie’s chicken scratch based on how it matched the font of your peer editor.

You okay? You seem a little sad today :(

You smiled at his concern. It was really sweet how he was checking on you. You wrote your response 

I’m fine just working on a photo project. Kind of stressed :/ 

You folded it back up really tightly and stood it up on your desk, flicked it gently and it landed right in front of Eddie’s doodle. You went back to your work for a few moments, trying to focus on your concept if you ever got a model. You huff aloud, frustrated with yourself. The note found itself back on your desk and you opened it.

Anything I can do to help?

You almost laugh at the universal irony. You need a damn model and here Eddie is asking what he can do to help. You pondered asking him for a moment. You didn’t know him very well yet so it would be weird to ask someone you barely know to help you by being a prop in a project. But on the other hand, this could be an opportunity to get to know him better. Fuck it you thought to yourself as you write out a response.

I need a model. You wouldn’t have any interest would you?

You look up from your note and turn to pass it to Eddie but this time he;s analyzing you, almost like he’s trying to figure out something from your body language. You tilt your head to a side a little, trying to figure him for a second before you hand him the note.

He opened it and you could see his face go from concerned to confused to shocked. He looked up at you wide eyed, a smirk forming along his lips. Oh boy…

“So you think I’m pretty enough to be a model, don’t ya Y/N?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. You almost roll your eyes.

“That and I’m desperate. Ali and Robin have band practice and I’m not about to inflate Steve Harrington’s ego,” you say laughing. Eddie started to laugh too at the thought of you trying to get Steve Harrington to actually cooperate during a photo shoot.

“I’ve heard your terms so I gotta ask: what’s in it for me?” Eddie inquired, waving his hands towards himself for dramatic effect. You pondered for a moment before you answered.

“I’ll let you pick the music the entire time and I promise to be gentle with you since it’s your first time.” you vowed.

He pondered your terms for a moment or two. He definitely wasn’t what anyone would picture when you say Model but he was still flattered nonetheless when you asked him. But he had to ask.

“Why me? You could photograph anyone at this school and they would jump at the chance.” Eddie said sheepishly, not entirely sure why him.

“I think you’re an interesting person Eddie Munson and my project is to catch an interesting subject I have a weakness in and that’s photographing people. Plus you’ll need it someday, rockstar,” you say honestly. You genuinely were intrigued by Eddie and wanted to know him better. There had to be more to him than metal music behind that leather jacket. 

“Yeah alright I’m in. So what do you need from me as a model boss?”He asked, interested in what all you had in mind.

“How about I meet you at yours at like 4-ish? That way I can pull off something special since I actually have a subject now.” you offer, already having ideas running through your brain of shots you wanted to take of Eddie.

“Sounds like a plan to me m’lady.” he said, penning something else on a piece of paper. “Here’s my address. It’s lot 513 at Forest Hills Trailer Park if it helps.” he said smirking

“Yeah I’m familiar. I’ll be there around 4-ish,” you say, “I just have to go home and take my dog on a run before I do anything else.”

“You have a dog? That’s fucking cool. What kind?” Eddie asked, wanting to know everything possible about the girl’s life outside of school.

“He’s a mixed breed we adopted from the shelter a year ago and we named Norm. He’s honestly the perfect dog,” you gush, smiling wide thinking about how cute he was sprawled out with you this morning in your small bed.

“Maybe I’ll get to meet him sometime,” he said as the bell rang. You both started to gather your things

“Yeah maybe if you’re around long enough,” you say, putting your backpack on.

“Oh I will be. You’ll find that I’m annoyingly addictive once you get to know me,” he tempts, really enjoying the coup de taus you have going on.

“I’ll be the judge of that Munson,” you said laughing at his tone. You guys walk out of O’Donnell’s and start towards your locker.

“Anything specific I need to wear for your project?” he asked, suddenly realizing he was wearing a Sabbath shirt, jeans and Reebok sneakers. That definitely wasn’t “model behavior”. You laugh a little, spinning the lock on your locker.

“No Eddie. Wear whatever you wanna feel comfortable with; whatever you fell like screams Eddie Munson. This is meant to be a profile of you. I wanna see who you are outside of cafeteria outbursts and our chats in O'Donnell's class.” you say honestly as you open your locker.

“Alright sounds cool Y/N. I really appreciate you even asking me. One last thing: you don’t happen to uh– partake in a certain activity…” he snorted awkwardly and you laugh at how cute he is trying to spit it out.

“Yes Eddie, I do partake,” you say, putting the unnecessary stuff in your locker. How the hell was this boy so weird but hilarious at the same time? You hadn’t felt this open with anyone since Ali and you found yourself okay with it.

“Okay great. Awesome. I’ll have a little gift ready for you when you arrive then.” he said matter of factly.

“Then I’ll see you in a little while Eddie.” you say smiling.

“Until then m’lady. Have a safe run with Norm and if you get lost, just look for my van.” he said, exchanging a look with you before heading out. You noted how nice his concern for your safety was and closed your locker, walking towards your car, pondering what you would try to convey about Eddie.

Well he was right; you got lost trying to find his place once or twice, taking a wrong turn here or there but you finally found the found in front of the white and brown colored trailer and you let out a sigh of relief. You were already running late behind because your run was longer than anticipated and you had to shower and change. Your hair was still wet and you were in a black and white quarter sleeve shirt, gray acid wash jeans and a pair of black and white Converse. You parked to the left of Eddie’s van, letting the sounds of Van Halen finish playing on the radio as you double checked everything. You had your Canon SLR camera, Polaroid camera and plenty of rolls of film just in case inspiration struck. You were nervous to see Eddie but decided to just buck up and go with your gut. You grabbed your camera bag and your denim shoulder bag (decorated in pins of movies, bands and other assorted pop culture). You got up to Eddie’s door and heard the sounds of guitar through the door. It wasn’t a song you knew but you already could tell you liked it. You listened for a second longer before knocking a few times, immediately seeking the guitar sounds. Moments later, Eddie’s frame replaced the door in front of you, smiling at you. He was wearing the same jeans and sneakers from earlier but this time was sporting one of his Hellfire shirts. HIs hair was in that awkward stage between wet and dry where the frizz was starting to come back but not quite.

“Hey Y/N. Everything go okay with your run?” He asked, opening the door wide enough for you to walk through.

“Yeah everything was fine. Norm was about to pass out after 20 minutes which is typical. Sorry it took so long; I had to shower cause I didn’t wanna smell like running when we were hanging out,” you say walking into Eddie’s trailer. 

You took a look around, taking in the array of collectable mugs and trucker hats displayed on the walls. You noted the pull out bed to the side of the tv, noting one of them (possibly Wayne) slept out here while the other got the bedroom. It was sweet how much you could already tell that his uncle cared for Eddie. There was a little orange lamp hanging in the corner by a bookshelf, a bar stool by the kitchen bar counter, and a table for two by the window. Everything was amazingly cute for two men living here. It was quite a humble abode.

“So what exactly did you have in mind for the shoot? Where do you want me?” Eddie asked, clapping his hands together. You ponder for a moment. 

“I kind of wanna get some pics of you in your natural habitat. What would you be doing right now if I weren’t here?” you asked honestly, thinking back to the music from moments ago.

“”Probably playing guitar or working on my campaign.” Eddie said absentmindedly.

“Alright lead the way,” you offer “I wanna see you in your element.” you add, smiling at the end. Eddie returned your smile before leading you past the kitchen, a closet, a washer and to the second door on the right, right next to the bathroom. His room was exactly how you would imagine Eddie Munson’s room: messy with strung about clothes everywhere, amps everywhere, bed unmade but his NJ Warlock electric guitar was hung with pride on his mirror by his bedside.

“Uh sorry for the mess,” Eddie said sort of bashfully “The maid took the week off.”

“I feel like the maid wouldn’t even touch this room if you had one.” you joked as you put your bags by the door, grabbing your film camera out first.

“I can’t say I blame her.” Eddie retorted, sitting on his bed, watching you adjust your settings a few times while checking your lighting. “So what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way but pretend I’m not here. What I have imagined is just showing you in your natural habitat. Like pretend the camera isn’t here and it’s just us hanging out. In fact, wanna play 20 questions?” you say, taking a test photo of his Corroded Coffin poster.

“Sure you start since this is your project.” Eddie said. He almost laughed at you when you said to ignore you. Ignore you? Impossible. Inconceivable. Who in their right mind could ignore you? But he did as you asked and grabbed his black lunch pail container. He popped it open and you could see a variety of baggies containing various pills and powders; he plucked out the bag with green little nuggets and a stack of rolling papers, closing the pail after he was finished and shoved it under his bed. He picked up a magazine from his dresser (some mechanic one you noted) and put it in his lap, taking a piece of paper out and flattening it.

You thought back to the last time you had smoked. It was probably before Leo left and your mom was in her most critical condition since her “baby boy” (a grown ass man) was leaving and she would be there alone with you. You told them you had gone to Ali’s to go see whatever had just come out but instead found yourself at Skull Rock, smoking a joint by yourself and wallowing in your emotions. Your dad wasn’t in the picture anymore and it was “because of you” Not exactly but coming home one day and yelling at your mother “Dad is fucking Sharon Reynolds behind Melnords in her car” was the way to go about it but you were in shock and you KNEW he was gonna lie about it and hurt your mother more than already intended so you were protecting her in your eyes. This confession led to her interrogating him, lying, admission and finally separation with Dad moving out/moving in with that whore Sharon and Mom’s drinking increasing when she wasn’t on call. So yeah “your fault”. You sat at Skull Rock all day and well into the night; your weed long gone as you were lost in thought. You vowed that night you’d never trust another fucking man because all they did was damage.

“Hey where’d you go there Y/N?”

Eddie’s voice shook you from your thoughts.

“Sorry. I uh was just thinking back to the last time I smoked and it was uh..not a great day for me.” you admit.

“When was that?” Eddie inquired, grinding up the green with his fingers.

“Oh it was a little bit ago.” you admit, putting the viewfinder up to your eye. You see Eddie’s hands work on the joint, rings clinking together while he grinds up the bud between the tips of his fingers. You zoomed in and took a shot, the light reflecting off the silver metal. Eddie smiled at the sound of the shutter.

“So why photography?” Eddie asked, twisting the paper around the crushed herb before pressing it to his lips, sealing it with moisture.

“They say ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’. I’m not much of a writer but I always loved taking pictures. It started with taking photos of my Barbies then of places we would go or of my friends but one autumn a few years ago, I took photos of the falling leaves and it felt like I had it figured out. Like when I look back on that day, I still feel the cool breeze and the smell of the leaves in the air mixed with the smell of smoke from fires. The feeling of change swirling in the air.” you say, smiling at Eddie as he ran his lighter over the joint, sealing it closed.

“I get that, fall really is the best season,” Eddie agreed, bringing the joint to his face before remembering his guest. “Here; I have a rule about ladies smoke first.’ Eddie said, handing the joint to you. You gladly accept, putting the joint between your lips as you take the lighter from Eddie. You light the end of the joint, inhaling until the end is cherried and stop the lighter. You keep the hit in for a few moments letting the weed take its effects, the calm rushing over you. You lazily smiled, taking another puff before passing it to Eddie. ‘Thank you, I really need this. I haven't smoked in weeks.”

Eddie was taking a hit when his eyes widened at ‘weeks’ and almost choked on his inhale. He couldn’t imagine not smoking for a few days let alone weeks “Jesus H Christ, how the hell did you survive? Fuck. In that case,” he said, taking a quick puff before handing it to you, “This is all you. I’ll roll another one to split. You need it more than I do trust me.” he said, already grabbing another paper and more weed.

“Thank you. By the way, I thought you were going to pick the music,” you point out, taking another drag. He smiled, putting the magazine on the nightstand, getting up without another word and went to his cassette player hitting play as the sounds of Dio played at a louder decibel.

“So how long have you played guitar?” you ask, eyeing the black and red electric guitar hanging on the mirror.

“Since about middle school. We played at the middle school talent show with my band Corroded Coffin,” he said fondly. You smiled at his pride, it was clearly something he was most proud of. He talked animatedly about the formation of the band and how they were like his brothers.

“So do you play any shows?”

“Yeah at the Hideout every Tuesday. We get a crowd of about five drunks. You should come see us play sometime.” he said excitedly.

“Oh I’m there. I’m always down for an excuse to not go home after work.” you say, remembering the feeling of loneliness. You catch Eddie’s look in his eye. “My mom’s a nurse so she works a lot of overnights so it’s just Norm and I alone in our house and after watching one too many of those ABC specials about the rise of serial killers, nights aren’t my favorite.” you admit bashfully. Eddie felt a twang on his heartstrings at the thought of you scared, home alone with no defense except a dog and your wits.

“Well you can come by whenever you want to; you’re always welcome Y/N.” he said warmly

“Thank you,” you say smiling as you take another hit. Dio transitioned to Iron Maiden and you smiled. There was a comfortable silence between you two for a few moments. Your joint was already finished and put out in the ashtray while you thought about potential angles to shoot Eddie from. Eddie had finished his joint as well and picked up his guitar, starting to play around with chord progressions. Even if it was just him messing around, it still sounded really good. You picked up your camera again and took a shot of him concentrating, hair in his eyes, lip caught between his teeth and brow furrowed out of concentration. You took a few photos of his hands on the fretboard, making sure to zoom in on the rings for clarity. “So what are the rings about?’ you ask, taking time to look at each of them carefully.

“Mostly references to songs and bands I like or am influenced by.” he says nonchalantly. You smile at the pig on his middle finger.

“Like War Pigs right?” you ask, eying that exact ring. He didn’t say anything; instead breaking into the opening chords of the song. You bob along to the rhythm, sitting next to him as he started singing along to the familiar song. 

“Generals gathered in their masses; Just like witches at black masses. Evil minds that plot destruction, Sorcerer of death's construction in the fields, the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds Oh lord, yeah!” 

You had heard this song a hundred times but now you much preferred the Eddie Munson cover. It was much more raw and guttural than the Oz Man’s version. You found yourself singing along to the rest of the song. It took everything in you to remember to take a few photos while he performed for you, even managing to get one using your Polaroid.

When the song ended, Eddie smiled at you. He was calm on the outside but was freaking out. I mean you were really here; in his room, smoking with him and jamming out to Sabbath together. There was no way you were real but you had to be because here you were; sitting on his bed stoned giggling. Hell. he’s never had ANY girl in his room like this before. Sure he’s fucked a few girls here and there but this was different. This was more real; more intimate than any feeling sex could temporarily provide. You weren’t simply looking for physical looks; you were looking into who he was and into his soul.

Whatever rhythm he was playing slowed down to a smooth melody, something Eddie had been working on all summer. You sat cross legged and just listened, enjoying the moment. It had been a while since you had been this relaxed around someone. Sure you were comfortable around your friends and your family but this was a whole different thing. This felt more natural somehow like you had hung out with Eddie countless times before today.

“So what else do you wanna do?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence and your train of thought. He had put the guitar down next to him and was sitting cross legged with you.

“Well you ARE the leader of the Hellfire Club,” you muse, “so why don’t we show that off? Grab your books that you’ve got and spread them out in front of you like you’re deep in your Dungeon Master mode” you say matter of factly as you get off the bed. Eddie obeyed your commands, grabbing his copy of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons DM Book, his folder and notes. He sat himself and spread everything out before him, like he normally would. He grabbed a pencil and you turned on the radio since his mixtape had stopped, you stopped searching when the sounds of a lighter rock song came on through the speakers. It had a mid tempo opening with bluesy riffs that Eddie had never heard before but wasn’t soon about to forget as you began singing

“Raven hair and ruby lips Sparks fly from her fingertips; Echoed voices in the night She's a restless spirit on an endless flight. Woo-hoo, witchy woman See how high she flies Woo-hoo, witchy woman She got the moon in her eyes. She held me spellbound in the night Dancing shadows and firelight Crazy laughter in another room And she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon.”

 He knew he was supposed to be “studying” but he was transfixed by you with the camera in your hands, moving your hips and body to the beat of the song as you commanded the room with your singing. You were fucking gorgeous. How had he not realized it before? He looked down at the pages a second later, suddenly very interested in the background of Orcs and thankful for his hair to hide the blushing. He heard the shutter a few times, along with your singing and he waited for the end to break the moment.

“So what is that song called?” he asked authentically as it moved to a Rolling Stones song he heard 100 times thanks to Wayne.

“Uh Witchy Woman but Eagles. It’s one of my favorite bands to unwind and relax to.” you admit sheepishly. It wasn’t very metal of you to listen to them but you couldn’t lie to Eddie for some reason.

“You really are full of surprises aren’t you Y/N?” Eddie said looking at you with raised eyebrows, a quizzical look on his eyes and a smile. You immediately snapped a photo because he looked so at ease, centered, so himself with a little bit of that Munson Mischief to him

“And you aren’t too bad of a model yourself Munson. You’re really easy to work with so how about this: I just had an idea of us shooting in those woods behind here and getting in some golden hours lighting before the sun sets fully. Sounds like something you’d be interested in?” you offer

“Oh I’m definitely interested. Want me to roll a few for the road?” he countered. You nodded and stayed seated, waiting for Eddie to roll up.  It really was nice hanging out with him; it was forced or coming from any kind of awkwardness. It almost felt like you two had been friends for years as opposed to a few weeks. Everything about him was relaxing and you really couldn’t put your finger on why.

“So you listen to Blondie, The Ramones, metal and now classic rock. Is there anything you don’t listen to?” Eddie inquired, sealing off the first joint with his tongue.

“Nope. None that come to mind. I’ve always had an eclectic upbringing musically with my mom being a mainstream music fan like ABBA and Fleetwood Mac and Dolly Parton. She got super into Carly Simon a few months ago. My uncle owns the record shop in town so I would spend all my free time there when I was a kid. He really showed me the ability to appreciate all kinds of music,” you admit smiling and it all clicked for Eddie who EXACTLY you were. He had been to that record store countless times but didn’t realize it was you. No wonder they always had the most recent music (specifically metal) and didn’t feel like those stuffy old Mom and Pop record shops.

“That explains why you have such a wide range,” Eddie said admirably.

“Yeah maybe I can teach you a thing or two about musical diversity,” you tease. Eddie put his hand to his heart, gasping loudly for dramatic effect.

“You don’t think I’m musically diverse,” Eddie said in a higher pitch.

“I’ll believe it when I see it Munson,” you say laughing at his outburst.

“Oh you will,” Eddie said matter of factly.

He finished rolling up and you guys headed out to the wood behind the trailer park. It was still kind of humid outside since it was still early September but the breeze made it feel like a perfect day. The sun was starting to go down but not technically set yet. Everything looked like it was being touched by the sun’s beams and you felt like you could bounce off the walls from excitement.

“Top three favorite movies. GO!!” Eddie suddenly said, snapping his fingers. You barely thought for a moment about it.

“Ummm Carrie, Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Shining.” you say trying not to think too hard.

“So you’re a Stephen King fan and you enjoy horror,” Eddie noted

“What are you, Munson?”

“The Hobbit from 1977, Heavy Metal and Halloween” Eddie said proudly.

“Color me surprised” you say sarcastically laughing. “Go stand in those trees over there and light a cigarette.” you say following behind as you get your camera ready. Eddie wasn’t about to question you, getting familiar with that tone of your voice. He pulled out the pack from his pocket, popped one in his mouth and lit it, walking until you told him to stop, which he did immediately awaiting instruction.

“Okay now turn towards me,” you say checking your viewfinder. You saw Eddie fiddling with his rings, snapping one of his like that. “Take a drag for me and try to get a lot of smoke but don’t kill yourself! I have an idea and if this works, it’ll look fucking badass. When you blow out, I want you to lean your head back slowly.”

Eddie does this; exhaling the smoke while leaning back. You snapped four of five shots and hoped it turned out well. Eddie looked so cool right now like a human fire breathing dragon. You said a silent prayer to your deity.

“Got it. Now walk towards me, taking a few drags along the way,” you say, watching Eddie walk towards you, taking a few shots.

“How was that boss?” Eddie asked genuinely.

“It was great Eddie. Exactly what I needed,” you say. He quizzes you a little bit more about your family and you tell him about your mom and brother, leaving out your father and the backstory there. He tells you about his home life. His parents were out of the picture but he had Wayne and from the way he spoke about Wayne made you feel for the boy.

You reached a clearing of the trees. Eddie was pulling out a joint and lighting it. You quickly grabbed your camera and snapped a photo of it. He raised his eyebrow at you out of curiosity and smiled, offering the joint to you. You walk over to him and take it but instead he had other plans. He grabbed the camera from you and turned it towards you.

“No! Eddie!” you squeal, laughing as you put your hands in front of your face.

“Ohhhh. I see how it is: you can dish it out but can’t take it. Sit by that tree.” His joking tone suddenly turned deep and dark and something in you was immediately attracted. You do as he says, sitting by a tree with your leg laid flat, the other propped up with your arm on your knee. You brought the joint to your lips and inhaled, closing your eyes to forget you were on the opposite side of the camera. You were super insecure about yourself and didn’t believe you were pretty enough so you took photos of things you saw as beautiful. Little did you know Eddie was doing the exact same thing: taking a photo of something (someone) beautiful. He waited until you exhaled to take the photo; smoke surrounding you like you were some ethereal goddess with your hair splayed out behind you, neck exposed.

“Okay. Got it” He said, smiling at you as you came back up. He handed you the camera and took the joint, sitting next to you. You shared the joint in silence before you got up, taking a few of him sitting in front of the tree in different poses until you went to check and saw a 1 on your shot log. It was always the hardest shot since it always finalized the tone of the shoot.

“What’s going on Y/N? You look super deep in thought.” Eddie noted, seeing you huff and your brows furrowed together.

“Yeah I’m just trying to come up with a final shot which is always the hardest for me.” you admit.

“So take one of us,” he added “It doesn’t have to always be serious, plus you’ll have a memento of hanging out with Eddie “The Freak” Munson,” he joked. You pondered it and shrugged, turning the camera towards you. Eddie got in close, putting his fingers up like Devil’s horns and sticking his tongue out. You stuck your tongue out too, squinting your eyes as the flash went off. You brought the camera down but noticed Eddie was still close to you.

“So does this make us friends Y/N?” Eddie asked, looking down into your y/e/c eyes. You were taken aback by that since you weren’t great at friends but something was drawing you into Eddie.

“Yeah of course we’re friends now Eddie,” you say smiling at him genuinely. “I mean I don’t open up to just anyone about my life and I’m sure you don’t either,” you admit

“Guess that makes you special,” Eddie said, still looking at you.

“Guess I am,” you say, not really believing it. Eddie wanted to say something but figured it was best to drop it. The walk back to his house was comfortable; you had promised to hang out next week to actually study together. He stood by while you gathered all your stuff, walked you to your car, even opening your car door for you. You got in and Eddie closed it behind you. He stood there the entire time, making sure you were good to drive, had everything and were okay. You even notice the little wave he made after you drove away from his trailer, one more friend in your arsenal

Tag list: @realeddiemunsonstandup @eddies-blunt @sharkbaitouhaha @scooprtroopr @bobbiewritesstuff @eveieforeve02 @awkwardlioness @apublicnotebook

#eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x reader #Eddie x reader fanfic #Eddie Munson imagine #Haley writes fanfic #strange love an eddie fic

[28whitepeonies]

Born in Doncaster, Tomlinson was part of the boy band One Direction, who sold more than 70 million records worldwide. After they split in 2016, he launched his solo career and returned as a judge to The X Factor, the show that launched the band. He has a son, Freddie, six, from a previous relationship with the stylist Briana Jungwirth, and lives in north London.

I’m not an early riser. When I was touring with One Direction, I used to wake up at 4pm as the adrenaline of being on stage and after-show partying meant staying up until 3am was normal.

I’ve been touring solo all year and the post-show energy is still intense, but I’m out of bed by midday now.

If I’m not touring, Doncaster is where my heart is, but I split my time between my house in north London and LA, where my son lives.

The first thing I do every day is have a strong coffee. I love a full English but I’m lazy, so I’ll probably have a bowl of cereal.

I’m very good at just watching shit TV all day, but if I’m trying to be productive I like to inspire myself by watching interviews with other artists I admire, like Arctic Monkeys or Liam Gallagher. It’s dead interesting hearing the way they think.

If I’m having a lazy day, I’m not gonna lie, I rate Bargain Hunt. I love it when someone pays well over the odds. I’ve not been invited to the celebrity version yet but if my career starts winding down one day, who knows? If I’m writing or recording, I’ll never start a session before 2pm. I’ve learnt not to get too carried away when a tune gains momentum. Sometimes you think it’s a f***ing banger, then you come back to it three days later and it’s not quite as good as you remember.

There’s a different sort of pressure being a solo artist, and the lows are lower on your own. In One Direction we made decisions collectively, but now it’s all on me. That also means the highs are higher. This year I did a concert in Milan in front of 34,000 fans. The adulation was almost overwhelming, but I could take all the credit — not just one fifth.

For lunch, I love a tuna sandwich with salad cream — not mayo — and some prawn cocktail crisps on the side. I’m a shit cook. I’ve survived on microwave meals for years, but I do feel sorry for my son — he must be sick to death of cheesy pasta.

I never work too long away from LA, so I see Freddie as much as I can. After my LA gig he came on stage and played the drums, which he loved. I think he assumes that it’s normal for everyone’s dad to tour the world performing.

Being a father has changed me but because my mum used to work nights and I was the oldest, the responsibility fell to me to feed, dress and bathe my younger siblings, so I’ve already had a parenting crash course. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t challenging, but it’s so rewarding too.

Social media has been really important for connecting to my fans, but I’ve got a funny relationship with it. It can be a toxic place and I’ve had some unhinged messages sliding into my DMs. I can’t keep up with these people posting 20 photos a day on Instagram, though, as all I’m doing is watching Bargain Hunt and that’s not that interesting.

If I’m performing in the evening, I have a double vodka and Red Bull to calm my nerves. When I was in One Direction, that pre-show ritual made me feel like a rock star. It just gives you such a great f***ing feeling on stage. I’d love to say I don’t get more nervous if I know Harry [Styles] or any of the other boys are in the crowd, but I do. You want to give your best.

When I come off stage I need five minutes to decompress, but I’m still buzzing so normally a big group of us will go out. I won’t be touring like this for ever, but while I am I want to have all the fun I can. That usually ends at about 3am with me crawling into my pitch-black bunk on my tour bus before we start the whole process all over again the next day.

Tomlinson’s album Faith in the Future is out on Friday on BMG

Words of wisdom

Best advice I was given

Always be a student of music

Advice I’d give

Have faith that if you’re not happy with where you are, eventually you’ll be all right

What I wish I’d known

Make the most of the lack of responsibility that youth brings, as being young won’t last for ever

#for my nice anon #I’m pretty much always willing to post these things i just usually only do it if I think folk are interested #or if I have something to comment on #so if I haven’t it’s because of that and if u want it u can slide in my inbox anytime #and I’ll post it for you #as always I get irritated by UA’s posting selectively edited articles #baby he doesn’t need you editing his life #Louis Tomlinson #the times #unedited #a life in the day

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 25: I Wanted To Become Your Comfort And Move Your Heart

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 230k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Yoongi is lying on the floor of his studio staring at the ceiling. He hasn’t been able to sit still all day, he knows Namjoon had his meeting with Bang this morning. He came right to the building when he woke up, leaving Jimin asleep in his bed. He’d felt the younger man crawl in with him in the middle of the night and tuck his face against his neck, leaving wet tear tracks against his skin. He should have told him that he was awake, but he couldn’t find the words and simply stayed still until they both drifted off.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Namjoon is back in a BigHit conference room with Bang, Dae-Hyun, and Bon-Hwa. Now that everything has come to a head, they all have a lot to discuss. The public response has been completely different than expected. The backlash has been worse than he imagined it would be, but there is a huge wave of support and love from ARMY. Comment sections are full of fights between those who have turned against the group and those who have rallied around them.

“Alright everyone, thank you for coming into the office to talk. Dae-Hyun and I met yesterday and we now know what company has come after the band. The CEO and his executives over at SM cooked up this plan to try and push us out of the way so that their artists could shine. Luckily, judging by the success of Fake Love, this new album is going to explode right in their faces. Namjoon, how are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. There’s a mix of emotions that seem to fight for purchase. I’m relieved that we have answers and that the plan was a success. I’m hurt at the response to the story and worried about how many people we may have alienated. I’m touched at the response from a lot of international ARMYs and some of the ones close to home. Bon-Hwa, are you okay?”

“More than okay, Namjoon-ah. Don’t worry about me. This whole thing has given me a sense of purpose I wasn’t expecting.”

“Glad to hear it. I suppose it’s time to release the debunking evidence, PD-nim?”

“Not quite yet, but soon. I want Dae-Hyun in their good graces for a little longer while I secure everything we need to sue Dispatch and hopefully put the executives over at SM behind bars for blackmail. Are you willing to hold out a little longer, Dae-Hyun?”

“As long as you all need me to. I’m grateful for the chance to fix my mistakes and for the help you’ve provided for my mother. She’s responding well to treatment and I’ll never be able to express how thankful I am.”

“Good. The company holds no ill will against you, you’ve more than paid your dues. Your job here is secure and you have a clean slate. Namjoon, how are the guys doing?”

“They’re mostly worried about me and having trouble keeping themselves out of the comment sections. I think they’re putting themselves in my shoes and imagining how people would react if it was them who went public.”

“Try and reassure them. We will protect Taehyung and Jungkook in every possible way. Keep working hard and keep your head down for now. I need a week or so to get everything together and then we’ll make a statement to the press and clear your name. Not everyone will believe your innocence, are you prepared for that?”

“I’d rather not think of it as innocence, sir. There’s nothing inherently guilty about the scandal. My family knows that it isn’t true, so does Bon-Hwa’s. They’re supporting each other through it. That’s all that matters.”

“Alright gentlemen. Dismissed.”

The three men stand up and bow to the CEO before exiting the room. Namjoon hugs Bon-Hwa and promises to give him a call when he has any news, sending his friend home. Dae-Hyun hangs back and awkwardly looks at Namjoon, trying to say something but failing. Namjoon gives him a warm smile and tries to reassure him.

“Dae-Hyun, if there’s something you want to talk about you can. Don’t worry, I won’t bite.”

“I guess I was wondering if you think that the guys would talk with me again. I’ve been wanting to reach out to the maknaes in particular to try and see if we can renew the bonds we were making, but I know I don’t deserve another chance. I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least try.”

“I wouldn’t say you don’t deserve it. You made a very grave error, a bigger one than some people can forgive, but we are a more forgiving group of people than you think. You didn’t just show remorse, you worked hard and put your life on the line to make it up to us. Let me talk to everyone and I’ll give you a call. Is there anything specific you want me to say?”

“No, I trust you to present it well. Maybe just ask Jimin if he’d be comfortable reaching out individually? I owe him more apologies than anyone, but only if Yoongi-hyung is comfortable with us speaking. I respect him too much to bypass him.”

“I’ll talk to everyone tonight. Go be with your mother, she needs you right now. I hope she knows what an amazing son she has and what he has risked for her.”

Dae-Hyun’s eyes grow misty and he launches himself at Namjoon before pulling away and hurrying down the hallway with his head down. Namjoon can’t help but smile at his retreating back, he expected to feel cold towards the man, but he finds himself thinking that he still is a good person at heart. Everyone makes mistakes and he deserves a second chance. He pulls out his phone to send a group text about a family meeting and turns in the opposite direction to go to his studio. He needs to be alone to process what’s going to happen next.

********

Yoongi is lying on the floor of his studio staring at the ceiling. He hasn’t been able to sit still all day, he knows Namjoon had his meeting with Bang this morning. He came right to the building when he woke up, leaving Jimin asleep in his bed. He’d felt the younger man crawl in with him in the middle of the night and tuck his face against his neck, leaving wet tear tracks against his skin. He should have told him that he was awake, but he couldn’t find the words and simply stayed still until they both drifted off.

Since he got here this morning, he’d tried to mix songs and failed. He’d tried to nap and failed. He’d tried to read, tried to write, tried to play games. That’s how he found himself on his back on the floor, lost in his thoughts. His goal for today is to not return to any of the comment sections about Namjoon and Bon-Hwa. Once he starts reading he finds himself lost down the rabbit hole for hours. It’s not all bad, there are countless ARMYs standing up for the couple.

On the other hand, there are comments from ARMYs who claim to have been fans from the start who are now leaving them behind. The media is slandering Namjoon left and right and by extension, the rest of them. People are questioning whether the popular ships are real, whether Namjin was ever true and if Namjoon has left Jin behind. Whether Yoonmin is more than just speculation. Most of the questions are about Taekook, Yoongi has watched some of their ship videos and even he has to admit that the two are the least subtle. He worries for them, and considers telling him to back off for a while until the heat around Namjoon dies down. He has no idea how long the company is going to wait to take legal action and debunk the story.

He is about to sit up and see if he can choke down some food when he hears a soft knock on his door. His stomach drops a little, thinking it might be Jimin coming to confront him about their relationship. He feels guilty, knows what he’s doing isn’t right, but he just can’t handle that kind of emotional labor right now. He ignores the knock and it grows stronger as he hears a voice that isn’t Jimin’s calling his name through the door.

“Yoongi-hyung, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”

He stands up and hurries to the door, feeling bad that he ignored it in the first place. His shaking hands fumble with the lock, proof that he needs to eat something before his body gives out on him. He opens the door to Jungkook looking nervous and ushers him in.

“Hey Kook-ah. Is everything okay? You look unsettled.”

“I was hoping I could talk to you about something, but now that I’m here I’m a little bit hesitant.”

“You can talk to me about anything, Jungkookie. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve done this, but our lives have been kind of crazy, hm?”

“I guess I was worried that our bond wouldn’t be as strong anymore or that you’d be upset with me for kind of leaning towards Jimin when everything went bad. Taehyung came to you and Jimin needed someone.”

“I would never hold that against you. It’s not taking sides. Jimin needed help and I’m glad you took care of him when I couldn’t. I promise I did the same for Taehyung in your absence.”

“I know, hyung. I’ve heard a lot about the connection you built with each other and it makes me happy. Thank you for helping him.”

“No need to thank me. Now what’s up? Come sit with me on the couch, don’t be nervous.”

He grabs Jungkook by the hand and can tell the maknae is shocked at the physical contact. He’s not one to be touchy, but he wants to put him at ease and could kind of use the grounding touch himself. He walks them over to the couch where they sit facing each other, Jungkook hesitantly lacing their fingers together and leaving them together. It feels nice and for once Yoongi doesn’t feel the urge to pull away.

“Hyung…please tell me what’s going on with you. We can all tell you’re not okay. You might think you’re being subtle, but you’re not.”

“W-what? Are you all sitting around talking about me?”

“No, no. It’s not like we’ve had some sort of meeting behind your back, but sometimes you’ll say something or a look will cross your face and everyone’s eyes will meet. We acknowledge it. Tae has told me that he’s worried though and he’s a little hurt that you haven’t gone to him. Jimin hasn’t talked to either of us, but we can see the life draining out of him. He’s becoming a ghost and we assume you had a big fight.”

“We didn’t have a fight.”

“That’s all you can say to me right now? You can’t rot away in this studio by yourself. You don’t have to tell everyone, but talk to someone. Talk to me.”

“Aish, Kook. I’m your hyung and you’re the maknae, I’m not supposed to lean on you.”

“Screw age ranks and honorifics. I’m your friend and brother first.”

“I don’t know how to explain. Something in me is wrong. I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m dead inside and out. I’ve gone through something similar before, before we debuted. It was before most of the group was even cast. It was just me, Joon, and Hobi. I handled it alone then and I can handle it alone now. It just takes time.”

“The difference between then and now is that now you don’t have to do it alone. We’re your family, back then all you had was strangers in a strange city. What do you mean you don’t feel anything?”

“Everything is muted. Colors aren’t as bright, the sun isn’t as warm. I’m not hungry, I’m not motivated, I can’t bring myself to be affectionate with Jimin, I don’t even feel excited about the album release.”

“I’ll be honest with you because you’ve been honest with me, that scares me a bit. If your emotions were just on hiatus for a while, I could wrap my head around that, but you’re not even able to care about your music? You’ve worked harder on the Love Yourself albums than anyone.”

“I know. I love the songs, I do. Somewhere deep down I know I’m excited to see the world respond to what we’ve created, especially The Truth Untold and Serendipity. I just can’t bring it to the surface.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a long while, staring at their joined hands and stroking the back of Yoongi’s softly. His brow is furrowed, thinking hard. Yoongi has to admit he does feel a little bit lighter having gotten some of it off his chest. He knows he can’t confide in Jungkook about the commenter and the backlash against Namjoon, he doesn’t want to turn the younger’s attention to that hatred.

“Hyung, would you consider talking to us about all of this at the family meeting tonight? You don’t have to and I won’t say a word to anyone if that’s what you want. I just think it would help you and everyone else to have it out in the open. No one will force anything on you, they just want to know what’s in your head.”

“You’re welcome to talk to Taehyung about this if you’d like to, tell him my door is open and I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings with my silence. I just need to know neither of you will go to Jimin. I know it’ll be hard, but I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”

“Alright, hyung. We won’t. What about the meeting?”

“I’ll think about it, Jungkook. I’m tired. I think the meeting is going to be about much more important things.”

********

“He wants me to do what?!”

“Hear him out, Jimin-ah. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Jimin is staring at Namjoon agape. The leader had come back at lunchtime and knocked on Jimin’s door, asking to talk. He explained that the meeting tonight was going to be about the scandal and about Dae-Hyun, but wanted to discuss it with Jimin first. That’s when he dropped the bombshell of the jerk wanting to talk to him directly as well.

“Namjoon-hyung, how can he think I’d want to talk to him?”

“Jimin, he was a desperate man backed into a corner. He’s done far more than he needed to in order to fix this for us. You have no idea the sacrifices he’s made. By coming clean to us he risked his mother’s cancer treatment! You cared about him once and I know that a part of you still does. You’re the kindest and most forgiving person I’ve ever met. Think about it.”

“Aish, how am I supposed to say no when you compliment me like that?”

Namjoon chuckles and wraps an arm around his shoulders, winking before walking out the door. Jimin sits on his bed and thinks about his hyung’s words. He makes some good points and he can’t pretend he doesn’t understand to an extent. What would he have done if he was in Dae-Hyun’s shoes? He’d like to think he wouldn’t have made the same choices, but he can’t say that for sure. He thinks about his mother and feels such a rush of love that he finds himself picking up his phone. He unblocks the contact and hits the call button, listening to the ring.

“Jimin-ssi?”

“Hi.”

“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. I assume Namjoon somehow already made it to you?”

“He did. Is there something you wanted to say to me?”

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done. Not just to the group, but to you specifically. I should have never kissed you without your consent, I disrespected you and I disrespected Yoongi-hyung. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for that or for my role in what happened to Taehyung and Jungkook. I just wanted the chance to say that to you directly.”

“I’m not sure if I can ever forgive you, but I think at the meeting tonight the group will agree to hear you out. What Namjoon is doing for us has inspired everyone to be a little more selfless like him. If everyone else is willing to give you a second chance, I think I could too. It’ll depend on how the conversation goes. Namjoon hasn’t told us the extent of what your role in his plan was, but I have a feeling it runs deeper than we think.”

“I understand completely. Thank you for listening, Jimin-ssi. I should have never taken your friendship for granted.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Have a good rest of your day, Dae-Hyun.”

Jimin hangs up the phone and flops backwards onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He does miss their friendship, he hadn’t connected with someone outside of the group like that in a long time. His nature makes him want to put it all behind them, but he needs to be sure first. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight. He knows he should get up and go find Hobi in the studio to practice, but curls himself under his covers instead. He skips lunch and dinner, laying in the dark until it’s time for the meeting.

********

Taehyung is the first to arrive in the living room, sitting on the couch and fidgeting while he waits. These meetings have become a source of anxiety for him, nothing good has come out of them in almost a year. It really hits him that they’re closing in on a year since Jungkook first kissed him at Home Party. He wishes that they could celebrate it together like an anniversary, but it brought nothing but chaos to everyone. He can’t even remember the date that he and Jungkook came back together, everything has been lost in the shuffle.

He’s worried about Jimin more than anything. He poked his head into his room earlier to offer him meals, but both times he was unresponsive. He’d walked over to the bed and wrapped his arms around the sleeping man, placing a kiss on his temple. Nothing is okay with Jimin. Not their soulmate bond, not his relationship with Yoongi, not his eating habits. Taehyung doesn’t want a repeat of debut-era Jimin where his mental health collapsed and he refused food altogether.

On the flip side, he’s worried about Yoongi too. He’s not sure who is feeding off of who, but it’s clear that something to do with each other is part of the problem. They barely even sit together anymore, let alone show any affection. He finds Jimin in his own bed almost every night and he wonders if they’re even speaking. He knows that Yoongi’s brain works a lot like his own and wishes that he could comfort his hyung, but he doesn’t want to pry unless he approaches him directly.

He hears a noise and snaps out of his train of thought, watching Namjoon and Yoongi walk in the front door. They’re not talking to each other, both looking lost in their thoughts when they look up and flash small smiles at Taehyung. Yoongi comes over and sits directly next to him while Namjoon heads down the hall and starts knocking on doors.

“Hey Tae.”

“Hi hyung.”

Yoongi reaches out and laces their fingers together, giving his hand a soft squeeze and looking at him with hopeful eyes. He smiles and squeezes back, looking down at their joined hands in relief. It feels like a small thread of hope. They don’t say anything, they don’t have to. A throat clears behind Taehyung and he sees Jimin standing there, staring at their hands and looking forlorn before sitting in an armchair. He starts to pull away from Yoongi and opens his mouth to say something when he’s interrupted by the rest of the crowd entering the room. He decides he’ll seek Jimin out after and keeps his hand in Yoongi’s. Jungkook sits on his other side, smiling at their display of affection and squeezing the back of his neck.

“Okay, now that we’re all here I want to start by checking in on everyone. How are you all doing with the story breaking? Thoughts? Feelings?”

He looks around the room, meeting all of their eyes one by one. No one seems to want to speak first, seemingly hesitating when addressing the elephant in the room. The silence drags on until Namjoon gets frustrated and speaks again.

“Come on, guys. I know you all have a take on the situation. I’ll start, maybe hearing something from me will help us start. I’m okay, really I am. Some of the responses have been hurtful and scary, I won’t pretend they haven’t. However, I’m impressed and touched by the ARMYs that have stuck by us and started to fight back in our stead. I’ve also heard a little buzz about this boosting us even further in America, you know they have endless LGBT icons there.”

Jimin speaks up softly, as if he’s afraid of the response.

“I’m worried about the attention on us leading to the rest of us being outed somehow.”

“That’s a completely valid fear, Jiminie. We’re going to be under scrutiny for a while, there’s no doubt about that. Even once the story is debunked, there are bound to be people who believe it’s true. We have to be careful about what we show on camera for a little while.”

“No! Hyung, please, we can’t go through that again.”

“Deep breaths, Kook. I don’t mean a separation like before, just a little caution. Tear drops in a few weeks and Answer won’t be far behind. We have an extremely busy comeback season this year. The Billboard Awards, appearances on American talk shows, concerts in several countries, constant promotions. We’re going to be watched closely.”

“Sorry, hyung. I’m just tired of the fear.”

“We all are, but this will all be worth it when we come out the other side. I promise you that. We can get through anything.”

Something is stuck in Taehyung’s head and decides to speak up.

“You said you wanted to start by checking in, Namjoon-hyung. Does that mean that this wasn’t the reason for the meeting?”

“Yes, Tae, I called you here for something else. I was at the office this morning with Bang, Bon-Hwa, and Dae-Hyun. The company is putting the finishing touches on our plans so they can take official legal action against Dispatch and the blackmailers.”

“Does that mean we know who it is that’s behind all of this?”

“We do. It’s SM.”

The room erupts in chatter, Taehyung has a hard time picking out any particular voices, but from what he gathers no one is all that surprised. They’ve all had idol friends who are signed under SM and heard about their shady practices. They bury their internal scandals better than any other company and keep their idols from speaking out about the cruel way they’re treated. He wants more information, though.

“So what happens next?”

“Bang said he needs about a week to get everything in order and then he’ll go to the press with the evidence to debunk the story. Dae-Hyun is going to stay ‘undercover’ just that little while longer to make sure that he can prove that it is indeed SM beyond a shadow of a doubt. Which brings me to the main reason for talking to you as a group instead of talking to you individually, Dae-Hyun was hoping he could sit and talk to you all again. I fully support him and would like you to consider agreeing. Before anyone says anything, can we do a preliminary vote to gauge where we’re all at? Can everyone willing to hear him out please raise a hand?”

Three hands go up: Namjoon, Jin, and Hobi. Taehyung looks at Jungkook, Yoongi, and Jimin next. He knows that they’d be the ones more likely to be hard on the man. Jimin’s eyes are darting back and forth between his hyungs before he nods to himself and also raises his hand. Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock, he didn’t expect Jimin to ever agree to this. If Jimin can be the bigger person here, so can he. He raises his hand as well. He feels Jungkook and Yoongi’s stares, but looks straight ahead at their leader.

“Okay, thank you. I’m glad to see that the majority of us are together on this. Who’d like to make their argument first? Jungkook?”

“Age before beauty, hyung!”

“Aish, you brat. Okay, I have no problem speaking first. I think this is bullshit. What would ever make any of you think this man deserves a chance to speak to us? He could have ruined our lives and in more extreme cases gotten some of us physically hurt. If there’s anyone in the world who doesn't deserve a second chance, it’s Dae-Hyun. Are you forgetting he kissed Jimin?”

“Yoongi-hyung, I understand all of that. No one has forgotten what he’s done to us, but Jimin and Taehyung have found it within themselves to hear him out. Can’t you do the same? Arguably they’ve both been more hurt by him than you have.”

“He’s right, Yoongi-hyung. If Tae and Chim are okay with this, I guess I am too. I’ll vote in favor.”

“Really, Kook-ah? You’re okay with sitting in front of that man and listening to him justify almost blackmailing you?”

“Namjoon-hyung isn’t asking us to forgive him, just to listen. We can do that. You can do that.”

A look passes between Jungkook and Yoongi that seems to have more weight behind it than it should and it leaves Taehyung confused. He makes a mental note to talk to Jungkook after the meeting and see what’s going on. He watches as messages pass between their eyes and Yoongi’s shoulders slump in defeat.

“Fine. If everyone else is sure, then fine. Expect me to rub it in your faces when I’m proven right.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and starts suggesting dates for Dae-Hyun to come by the dorm. Everyone still seems hesitant and the leader starts to discuss what the other man’s role in the situation has been since he first came clean. Slowly, Taehyung starts to feel more open to the idea that he can forgive. None of them really understood the scope of the situation on the inside, Namjoon has kept a lot of the details close to his chest. He feels a squeeze from Yoongi and looks over to see him leaning into his ear.

“Can we take a walk and chat after?”

Taehyung’s face breaks into a blinding smile and he feels part of his stress lift away. He’s leaned on Yoongi far too much and hasn’t been able to get a word out of the other about his own struggles. Maybe he’s finally coming around. He nods and squeezes back, but catches Jimin staring at them out of the corner of his eye. He frowns to himself and leans over to Jungkook.

“Kookie, Yoongi-hyung wants to talk to me after the meeting, but I’m worried about Jiminie. Can you take him back to your room and check on him? Tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can and the three of us can spend the night together.”

Jungkook smiles at him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and running a hand along his cheek. He knows Jimin will be in good hands.

********

“Hyung, let’s go back to my room and snuggle.”

“I don’t know, Kookie. I just want to go to sleep.”

“You’ve been sleeping all day, come on!”

Jungkook doesn’t give Jimin a choice, dragging him by the wrist down the hall. He’ll pick him up and carry him if he has to. He knows how low he’s getting and he’s determined to help whether Jimin accepts it or not. They get to his room and he closes the door behind him, nudging the other man onto his bed and tossing a banana at him.

“Eat something. I’m serious. Taehyung is going to be here soon and we’re going to spend the night together, all three of us like old times.”

Jimin begrudgingly tears open the fruit, nibbling a small bite and then placing it in his lap. He does seem to perk up a bit at the idea of a maknae sleepover. Jungkook sits down, his back against the headboard and reaches out a hand.

“Come on, Jiminie. Eat your banana and lay with me. Talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to do, Jungkook. I’m losing him.”

“What’s going on with you two? You’re both barely floating through the day.”

“I have no idea. He just slowly started to drift and now he’s so far away that I can’t even catch a glimpse of him on the horizon. We barely spend any time together. I sneak into his room sometimes when he’s already asleep and curl up there, but he’s always gone when I wake up.”

“You know how Yoongi-hyung is. He’s not the most expressive person and he tends to retreat into himself.”

“I know, but he’s not supposed to be that way with me. I love him more than he can even imagine, I just want to be his safe space. I thought that’s what was happening, he was starting to be vulnerable around me and wear his heart on his sleeve. Then it seemed to become the opposite overnight. I feel like I’ve tried everything to get through to him.”

“Hmm, what if I said I had a plan that could help you get past his walls? It’s not a guarantee, but I think it would reach him at least a little bit.”

“I guess it depends on what it is. I can barely function right now.”

“I know, Jimin-ah, but maybe this will breathe life into you as well. Actually, now that I think about it, I think Dae-Hyun would be the perfect person to help us with this. The timing on this could be absolutely perfect.”

“Dae-Hyun?!”

“Yes, after hearing Namjoon talk about him tonight, I’m more than willing to meet with him, but if he still feels like he owes us a little…this could be the last boost he needs to reach forgiveness. Keep an open mind, okay?”

Jimin sits up and stares at him, waiting. Jungkook launches into the details of his idea and watches understanding dawn on the other man’s face. It’s a bit half-baked, but he’s hoping Jimin will want to fill in the blanks with him. It only just occurred to him when the meeting came to a close, but he thinks it will work. Jimin starts to make small suggestions and Jungkook feels an overwhelming sense of relief.

They need to get started first thing tomorrow morning.

#jungkook #taehyung #jimin #yoongi #namjoon #suga #rm #hobi #jin #taekook #yoonmin #bts #bts ff #bts fanfic #jungkook x Taehyung #yoongi x jimin #canon compliant #homophobia #internalized homophobia #fluff #angst #smut #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: March 5, 2005

Lyrics:

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue sky's faded to gray

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

You tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces every time

And I don't need no carrying on

'Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me, "don't lie"

You work at a smile, and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down, and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me, "don't lie"

You work at a smile, and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing, it turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well, oh, that strong

And I'm not wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah)

So where is the passion when you need it the most?

Oh, you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

'Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

You see what you like

And how does it feel one more time?

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Songwriter: Daniel Powter

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

SongFacts:

"Bad Day" is a pop song by Canadian singer-songwriter Daniel Powter from his self-titled second studio album (2005). It was written by Powter and produced by Jeff Dawson and Mitchell Froom. Powter and Dawson recorded the song in 2002, but were initially unable to find a record label to release it. The song was first used in a French Coca-Cola television advertisement in Christmas 2004 before its official release. Tom Whalley, Warner Bros. Records' chairman and CEO, offered Powter a contract after hearing a demo tape of it. This track ended up being released as the aforementioned album's lead single in Europe in early 2005.

The song was received with a generally mixed reception from critics. While some praised its lyrics for their "universal appeal", others felt they were too broad. Despite this, it was a commercial success. In 2005, the single charted in the top five in more than ten countries worldwide and became the most played song on European radio. After its European success, it was released in the United States where it topped the Billboard Hot 100, Pop 100, Adult Top 40, and Adult Contemporary charts. In 2006, it became the first song ever to sell two million digital copies in the United States, as well as being measured by Billboard as the most popular song of the year inside of the United States, and the first under its new system. After another million were sold, it was certified three-times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in 2009. It was certified platinum in Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom, gold in Denmark and Germany, and also received a certification in France and Japan.

The accompanying music video for "Bad Day" was directed by Marc Webb and became the eighth most-watched music video on the Internet in 2006, reaching 9.8 million views one year after its release. The video depicts two downcast people sharing a similar routine until they meet each other at the end of the video. The song was used for advertisements and television programs, most prominently as American Idol's elimination song. Different shows and artists covered and parodied "Bad Day", including Saturday Night Live and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Powter has also performed the song on television shows including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and during his concert tours in North America and Europe. The song's success made it Powter's "anthem" and would be included on his later compilation albums B-Sides (2007) and Best of Me (2010).

#Youtube #Spotify #Daniel Powter #Bad day #music #music video #video of the day #hit of the day #youtube video #chaos radi o #good music #2000s #2000s charts #2000s music #2005 #pop #alternative indie #rock #lyrics #songfacts #soft rock #pop rock #adult contemporary #piano rock #pop ballad #142

[ivettel]

mcr anon again!! seeing your reply made me so happy, you have no idea!

i don’t have a favourite album just yet but i love the black parade (it’s the album i started with), three cheers, danger days, and even though whether it counts as one of their albums is a little unclear from what i’ve seen, i absolutely love conventional weapons! bullets is the album that is probably most different to what i’m used to, but the songs have been growing on me and i’ve started to love it more.

i have not gotten the chance to get into much of the lore yet! i’ve seen bits of the black parade stuff and a mention of the demolition lovers but not much more than that. i’ve been a little hesitant to reach out to anyone to ask about the mcr lore because there’s just so much that i’m a little intimidated and don’t know where to begin 😅

anyway i absolutely love you and your blog as a baby killjoy (i think?? it’s been 3 months since i got into them) and a seb fan <3

hello again!

oooh hell yes the black parade is what a lot of people would consider to be their magnum opus, i adore it--if you haven't already, please check out the black parade live in mexico! something about their live performances is just soo visceral and exciting and it almost makes their studio versions pale in comparison, esp when it comes to this album! seeing them live last september was genuinely actually life changing. my personal fav is three cheers, but there's a mcr album for every mood <3

also, yeah, cw isn't reeeally an album, even if people basically group the songs together like one. in short, what happened during the making of the black parade was really sad, like the band moved to a haunted mansion, mikey had a crazy mental breakdown, etc, and gerard was like so incredibly into the concept of the album that it took. Everything out of him? and like all artists do, he had that moment where he was like, well, i don't want to need to hurt myself irreparably to make art. so the goal for the next album was to just play it straight--no high concept, just pure fucking rock. and they tried a bunch of things that led to cw! but ultimately they couldn't make their sound work as A My Chemical Romance Album, no matter how they sliced it, and also there was some talk that the boys were getting tired of each other. danger days came out of the ashes of conventional weapons, which you can hear musically, and it's very cool! but so like there was a huge gap between the end of tbp and dd and people didn't know what happened in the interim until after the band broke up and released cw.

bullets is SO beloved--like you say, it's the most sonically different! part of that is the sound production quality (they recorded in a friend's basement studio under an indie record label called eyeball records, got signed to reprise after) and they had a shit drummer nicknamed otter (who thankfully got sacked before three cheers), and the boys were ohhh so very new to all of this. another part is That Was The Scene, they were raised on new jersey rock legends like the misfits, thursday was (and still is) super popular, etc. it's crazy though like, ray was going to try and get into the film industry! gerard had been interning at cartoon network! frank was trying to make it with his own band called pencey prep (he didn't join until may 30 2002)!

it's a very romantic album i think, a time capsule of the era for sure. gerard was suffering from crazy tooth pain and had to get punched in the face to stop bitching about it. frank wasn't even in the band and he hung around the studio smoking and napping on the couch. they didn't sell their CDs, they just gave them out to try and spread the word. they were piss drunk for their first ever show because they were so goddamn nervous. there's a lot of extra context that i think makes the album more accessible! but also if u keep an open mind and listen to bullets just as it is, and let all the melodies and themes wash over you, listen to the lyrics, you might find yourself loving it :)

for more info: i would absolutely recommend starting with life on the murder scene for a glorified summary of their time starting out and during the recording of three cheers! and for a full fairytale kinda rundown for their time in the band, tom bryant's true lives is like the beginner's bible. they'll give u a sense of who the band is! the lore and the ~characterizations~ given to them from those two sources have stayed to this day. but then yknow, you get deeper into it and you find that some things are kinda handwaved for the sake of story and you end up obsessed with whatever happened in 2007, and ugh. anyway! lots of levels to this. but def start out with those!

sorry this got so long, i could talk about this band forever LOL. but cheers, appreciate it, and if u ever wanna come off anon and dm we can totally chat! x

#anon #genius bar #long post

[kafus]

hello again! haha, it's alright if they've done vsynth stuff in the past, that is cool too👍. even Eve has a Hatsune Miku album! anyway, is it alright if i give out some artist recommendations? it's so cool to meet someone who listens to kafu too, so i would love to hear your thoughts on my other favourite artists, mainly TUYU, Yorushika and Minami. please don't feel pressured to though, if you haven't listened to them before then these are some artists you can listen to if you ever feel like looking for new songs👍 have a good day/night! :]

oh i love all three!! a huge reason i got into kaf is because at first she really reminded me of minami but different LMAO and i love minami! every time a new tuyu mv comes out i watch it and say it by yorushika may be overrated but it’s my favorite HDJDKDK

#kiki was here #asks #toadsbiggestfan

[hamburgeoisie]

Put your Spotify Wrapped on Shuffle and List the First 10 Songs.

Tagged by @obliviouspoptart (why woukd you do this to me)

Sinking Ship by CAKE

I really like CAKE and this song makes me think of Our Flag Means Death. It's also one of the newer CAKE songs, they've still got it!

2. Never There by CAKE

I swear this is on shuffle. Just a coincidence. This is also an absolutely banger CAKE song, from their album Prolonging the Magic, which I've been trying to find on CD as of late (it's technically available on Amazon but I like the thrill of the hunt)

3. I've Got The World On A String by Frank Sinatra

Okay since we're here, I'll warn everyone, my Spotify Wrapped was severely disturbed by my sleep playlist. During the summer I basically listened to it every night, so I had a lot of unexpected Louie Zong and Frank Sinatra on my Wrapped. I have always liked Frank Sinatra though, ever since I was a little kid. I had over 30 Frank Sinatra CDs as a freshman in high school.

4. Sleepwalk by nelward

Aw hell yeah nelward time! My top song of the year was a different nelward song, he's such an underappreciated artist. He's incredibly creative and is always changing things up, but in ways that are still uniquely him. Sleepwalk is a slower jam. Recently I saw a Jerma985 edit to this song and it made me laugh.

5. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

This song is transmasc coded. No I will not elaborate.

6. Fictional Animals by FrankJavCee and NothinButLag

This song is unnecessarily short. It deserves to be twice as long. Frank FrankJavCee brings his classic style and Justin NothinButLag adds a unique creativity and lyrical style. It's also about bigfoot/cryptids, so plus ten points.

7. Fred Astaire by Jukebox the Ghost

OUGH I love Jukebox the Ghost. They've been my top artist on Spotify Wrapped for three years now. There's several songs from them on my Wrapped, I believe this was one of the singles for their second to last album, Off To The Races. Fun fact: after that album came out, I made a painting combining that album's cover with the cover of Demon Days by The Gorillaz, and brought it to their concert. I handed it to their guitarist and an artist in his own right, Tommy Siegel, who displayed it proudly on stage for the whole concert. I love those guys.

8. Moonsetter by SudoName

Fucking... hear me out. I know this is a Homestuck song. I just like the piano for my sleep playlist.

9. Close Talker by nelward

Another nelward tune! This one was released about a year ago, I was really obsessed with it for a bit. It does, however, have a sound that is a lot like the sound made in Pokemon Go when a Pokemon is shaking in a Pokeball. I remember listening to it as I played Pokemon Go last year and I realized this, and now it's all I can hear.

10. Lighting Myself on Fire

Now THIS is a Jukebox The Ghost song! I absolutely love when the boys go a little darker, something that was a little more present on their first album, Let Live and Let Ghosts (which this song is from), but still shows up occasionally. I think these are largely the songs written (and sometimes sung) by Tommy Siegel; something partially confirmed by lead vocalist and pianist Ben Thornwell saying "this is one about existential dread, so of course it was written by Tommy" at the last concert of theirs I went to.

Tagging: @amurderofmagpies and I don't know any other people so that's it.

#spotify #spotify wrapped #spotify wrapped 2022 #music #jukebox the ghost

[0613magazine]

221010 Proof Collector's Edition

Jung Kook

Between the past, present, and future, which one do you think of as most important?

I believe the present is most important. My present self exists based on the past but the past has already passed. To change the future, I must do well in the present. With that meaning, I believe that the present is most important.

The word “past” what does it mean to you?

Drawer. A drawer would be the right way to put it. Take it out when I want to take it out and see it, and some I just want to get rid of?

What is your first-ever memory?

I think it was around when I was three? I have a memory of going to someone’s house and fighting with a dog in their house whose size was as big as me. It was a white puppy but I don’t know the breed. I wasn’t at the age to know well about puppies at that time. It wasn’t frightening but I think it was my first ever memory. 

Looking back at your childhood, is there something you miss?

There was a pillow that I always hugged to sleep when I was young. It was a pillow bigger than me. If I had that pillow I was able to fall asleep easily. I had it up until I was living in Manduk, Busan but it’s probably gone now. Back then I was small so the pillow felt bigger than me but I wonder if that pillow was actually bigger than me. If I look at it now, I think it’s going to be a small pillow.

What is your first meaningful place/space?

Our fourth dorm? No, first dorm. That place is the most meaningful place. 

How did that space look?

It was a place that had mosquito blood stains on the wall. I also saw a ghost while washing my hair. I was washing my hair alone and between my legs I saw a very pale skinned ankle, and that ankle walked into the room. I definitely saw it coming in from the front door shoe cabinet side but there was no sound that I could hear after it. I thought it was SUGA because of the skin tone. After washing my hair I went into the room to say hi to him and there was no one. In the dorm there was no one except for me. 

You must have gone through a lot during that time. 

I didn’t go through hard times. During trainee times, I didn’t have a lot of this and that type of worries. It was just fun. Just bought delicious things from the convenience store with the allowance I got every month. Some days I ate something even more delicious. Life like that was fun.

When was the “Moment of Proof”?

When we first won Daesang at the award show. It was really exciting. Now we are acknowledged even in other countries and receive awards but we were acknowledged by our country first. I think it was ‘moments of proof’ when we received awards like ‘Song of the Year’. ‘Album of the Year’, ‘Artist of the Year’ in big award ceremonies. 

Not to the world but is there something you want to prove to yourself?

Proving to my own self means that I acknowledge my own self, and I want to gain a lot of different knowledge in my head. After that then I think I would be able to finally acknowledge myself. 

In your mind, how old do you put yourself as?

For a long time, I believed that I remained as a 15-year-old. I came up to Seoul at that age to become a trainee. I technically started my social life from that point. However, I didn’t learn things that were helpful to live out in society but a social life to become a singer. It wasn’t that I studied nor did I collect knowledge for my inner self. So I thought that I was remaining at that age. Now, I think I am at my age. 26 years old. It would be quite a different 26-year-old from those who have entered college, but I think that if you are able to talk to other people around you and you are able to communicate, isn’t that a 26-year-old. I feel that way these days. I feel like my age. 

While living as BTS, do you think there was a change that made Jeon Jungkook, as an individual, more clear or faded?

I don’t try to separate Jeon Jungkook from Jungkook of BTS normally. They coexist well together. It’s all connected so it won’t separate even if I do separate it. In the end, it’s all me. If I were to separate it, I would say the individual, Jeon Jungkook, is a little bit lacking. On the other hand, I think Jungkook of BTS is quite nice/cool. If you were to look at it that way, the only difference would be whether it’s me as an individual or me as a singer. So I would like to say that they are both doing well, distinctly and clearly. 

What is “myself as it is” like?

Young and lacking. Unique, all over the place, and lazy. So I think other than the outer appearance I think it’s all different. I wish I personally had confidence but I am a person who has weaknesses and I know those parts well myself. So it would be nice if my outer appearance and my literal self are exactly the same but that’s only half. But for this, even if I do change in the future, I won’t be identical.

Is the current ‘Me’ and the past ‘Me’ different?

It’s different but it’s not different. Of course people change but there are cases where you are holding on to the past. As I am a human after all, within the events that happened in the past whether it’s a special thing or a bad thing, I can’t easily let go of it. There is a feeling that I am staying in that past, definitely changed but I feel like nothing has changed. But that doesn’t mean that I am fixated about the past. Also the past me had a very weak mentality but the current me has gotten a little stronger. But since my ups and downs and being shaken mentally have reduced, I seem to have become a bit dull. So it’s kind of less fun now. 

Looking back, what was the darkest moment for you?

There was a moment when I wanted to give everything up and that was when it was darkest. I think because back then I was young, and had struggled on my own. But now a lot of time has passed. If that moment came right now I think I would be able to change something. But back then there was nothing I could do. The people who made the darkness into light next to me back then were the members. I think that is all I can say about my dark moment. 

If you were to write a letter to yourself in the past, what would you want to write?

“Study some English. Tell mom that you want to study abroad.” I also want to say to practice dancing. I was confident about singing but I didn’t think that I was good at dancing, so I didn’t dance. Also, when you are young, whatever you do, you can quickly and naturally adapt to it. I think to myself, ‘should have danced and (learned) some English when you were young’. I should have gone to study abroad no matter what happened. (Laugh)

During the day, what time do you think it’s your time for yourself?

Time after work. Around 2 am? A time when you feel relaxed to sleep. A time when I want to do something more, but then again, if I do try to do something I feel like I need to go to sleep. It’s a very iffy/awkward time.

What do you like to be called the most?

I like the most when I am called by my real name because I believe that my name best describes who I am. 

If there is something in life that is an indispensable existence, what would it be?

People. Including people who I don’t know, family and members, company employees, walking pedestrians, everyone. I believe that the reason I am able to do interviews like this is because there are people. If there are no people, I have no one to talk to when I am struggling. I don’t think I can live without, people that can comfort me when I’m lonely, a person to share my happiness with when I am happy. So I would say, people.

Is there something you have been constantly telling yourself recently?

“What should I do right now?” I say this the most. I say this when I have to do something, at least when I am home but I don’t know what to do and try to do at least anything. I am a person who thinks of the present as most important, so rather than saying let’s do something in the future, I think I ask more questions like “What should I do right now?”

How fast in km do you think you are going right now?

About the speed of a turtle. Just a slow walking speed. Will go forward, but sometimes stop, and sometimes go backward. I want to live a life like a tortoise from <The Hare and The Tortoise> who can go slow but win every one. Even as a person, I want to be a friend like the tortoise but I realized that it is pretty difficult.  

Is this speed something you set or a speed you are following?

I think it’s the speed that I want to go. I want to go slow and steady. I have a strong desire to do whatever it is, comfortably and continuously. However, due to circumstances and because of myself, there are many times when I was going to do this but do other things. 

If there is something you are focusing on these days, what would you say it is?

I am focusing on methods that would allow me to improve. To gain more knowledge musically and linguistically, I read a lot of books and watch the news. I also want to continue to improve about fashion too.

Which color do you think best describes you?

Purple. It’s not that I liked purple from the beginning, but while doing activities as BTS, it became a representative color so I began to like it. It is a color that settled in my heart even more because fans like it. Also, it’s interestingly odd and beautiful. I don’t think there is any other color like purple. 

Is there a thought you always think about before going to sleep everyday?

I ask myself, ‘Isn’t there something that I have to order online?’ and search for something. If it’s not that, usually think about things that were a bit of shame during the day. That can lead to something that I want to do right at that moment or have times when I tell myself that I have to go to sleep right now so let me do them tomorrow. 

Out of the dreams you had recently, are there any that are memorable?

Dream about flying in the sky. Until now, I have dreamt about flying in the sky three times. I remember all of them. In the first dream, I was flying in the real world when suddenly, like a bug in a game, I went through a wall and went inside the floor. So an error was made and I woke up from my dream. In the second dream, I was flying and said “oh? This seems like a dream.’ I woke up when I realized.

This was the third time and the reason why this is the most memorable is because I was able to cast a spell on myself in the dream! For sure I knew that it was a dream. Then a friend came and told me that if I follow them and say the spell after them, I won’t wake up from the dream even if I knew that I was dreaming. So I said the spell after him, then a space with a very beautiful sky appeared. I flew in that sky. Despite knowing that I knew it was a dream but didn’t wake up. I flew for quite a while. Dreaming about flying in the sky makes me really happy. It’s more fun than rides in amusement parks.

If you were able to go to another dimension, do you have any place you would like to go to?

Outer space. I think it would be scary but fun and exciting. Are you not curious about the space called the Galaxy? I am. 

If you were to look at life as one road, how far do you think you came now?

I’m not sure how far I have come. One thing I do know is that I am going around the roundabout. I feel like I am going round and round in an intersection with many forked roads. It feels like I went around the roundabout but I wasn’t able to exit to another road so I am going round and round the roundabout. 

If you got out of that roundabout and reached some kind of ‘door’ what do you think is behind the door?

If I passed the roundabout, It means that I have reached an end goal, for one thing, Then that means I have learned something. Then It would feel like some clear outcome would come out but the reality won’t be like that. They say ‘mountain over mountain’. This mountain might be a mountain I made myself. Since I have so many things I want to learn and adapt to, I probably would be going around somewhere else again.

Do you believe there is a predestined fate?

I didn’t really know when I was young but I think now I believe there is one. I think trying to go left while going right to change fate, in the end, is also fate itself and everything has already been decided. Can also say it’s like a parallel universe. I see a lot of deja vu. This moment could be my past, and another me could be living in my future. I believe there are many different dimensions, and that is why I see so many deja vu. 

Are there any characters from a movie or a drama that you would like to resemble?

A character I want to resemble appearance wise, Leonardo Di Caprio, Jack from the movie <Titanic>. On the inside, I want to resemble everyone. I think of all kinds of thoughts before going to sleep and I wonder, ‘What if everyone’s knowledge in the world comes into my head, what would happen?’ In that character-wise, it would be close to Tony Stark from <Iron Man>.

If you were to make a documentary about yourself, which song do you want to put on the ending credit?

I don’t have a song I want to put in yet. Probably means that it hasn’t been written yet right? I want to make it in the future for sure.

Personally, what is the most meaningful album out of the whole BTS discography? 

I would say <The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt. 1> From that album, people’s view of us changed. How would I put this, for the first time there was reaction. 

I think it was the first step to success. We won 1st in music shows, and from that point, I had new goals one after the other. Also felt ‘growth’ for the first time. 

I think from that point we were able to have good synergy overall which allowed us to be on the up and up. 

Euphoria

What does this song mean to you?

It’s a song that I really like. There was a time when I mentioned this, but because it was recorded during the time when my throat was not in a stable condition so it contains a raw feeling as it is, the lyrics are really beautiful, the song is nice, just everything is good.

Is there something you put extra focus on when singing this song?

I tried to be fully immersed in the lyrics and faithfully sing according to the lyrics. I can imagine a colorful image just with the lyrics. When I sing ‘I can hear the sea from afar’ I will really be inside the image of hearing the sound of the sea from far away.

If you were to sing this song in an acoustic version alone, when and where do you want to sing?

In front of the ocean during the sunset. Not under a red sunset but under a purple sunset sky. I want the season to be a season where the air is fresh with no humidity, smelling like the sea, and where a refreshing wind blows.

There is a lyric, ‘please don’t let go of the hand you are holding’ Have you ever held your hand out to someone or held on to the hand someone reached out?

I don’t think I ever held out my hand to someone first. Instead, I have more memories of holding the hand that someone reached out.

Have you ever experienced your own euphoria?

When you are experiencing euphoria, I don’t think I will be able to realize it during that moment. I think I will know after time passes. If I look back and feel that I was really happy back then, then that I think is true euphoria. Even now I have a lot of happy moments. But if I had to choose my best moment, I think I need to live my life more. 

If you were to imagine a Utopia of your own, what kind of image is it?

The moment I am able to acknowledge my own self, that would be the Utopia for me. That moment could come when I reach my 60s but still if I am able to acknowledge myself, wouldn’t that be Utopia?

Between ‘a person who shows you the world you don’t know’ and ‘a person, you can share the same world with’ which person is better?

I like a person who would be able to show the world what I don’t know. The unknown world will be a new world, then I would be able to feel new emotions so that itself would be amazing. Sharing the same world means sharing emotions but I feel that learning about the new world is more valuable than that.

Dimple

What does this song mean to you?

It’s a song with a style I like. I especially like the melody of this song. Every time I listen to it, it brings up fans’ smiles in my head so my heart gets warm along with it.

If you were to sing this song that you recorded in 2017 again, what would be the difference/change?

My vocalization would be the biggest difference. Since the vocalization is different between then and now. And don’t you think it would be a bit easier to sing now?

Is there a difference also in expressing this song? 

I might be better at expressing myself but I don’t think my emotional state toward this song has a big difference. Within actors, there are ones that will be immersed into the character and pull all their emotions into it when acting and those who find importance in expressing more than emotions when acting. I put myself in the latter one. Rather than putting emotion into the song, I would say I put emotion into my voice only.

What is something that flutters your heart in your daily life?

In the past, I felt excited when I had ambition for something, took action to make that into reality, and reached a result. These days, there aren’t a lot of those things happening as much as before. So I think I get excited when I meet new people. Talking with new people is the most fun. 

If you become a present for someone what kind of present would you be?

Become their friend, listen to their stories, listen to their concerns and worries, sing for them, about this much?

If there is something you need to love someone, what would it be?

Rather than preparing because you need something actually, I think you are able to love when you empty yourself within. I think you are able to have real love when the emotion shouldn’t be overly excessive and whatever it is, it should be enough to be able to have real love.

Between expressing your heart through talking and expressing it in words, which one are you more comfortable with?

I am not sure what I am more comfortable with, but what I would like is expressing them using a mixture of the strength of both talking and writing. Through words, I am able to deliver my feelings well. Talking can’t be organized cleanly like through words but it contains my emotion wholly.

What does the album <Proof> mean to BTS?

Hmm, it feels like a small wrap-up and also a start. This album feels like wrapping up something, But it’s also not the end. So it’s the last step and process before moving to the new chapter. 

English translation by: bomharu1230 Photo credit: mahoneysuga

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