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#i never wanna force my character into situations or plots or whatever
outguilt · 5 months
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man i wish i was better at plotting
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My Issue with The Infamous Louis Panel
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I think y’all know exactly what I’m talking about so let me just dive into it.
Aside from Louis being a total hypocrite and being involved with the very livestock business HE came from, this panel had the potential to completely change Louis’ character and (possibly) his influence on the Beastars plot but this panel is NEVER mentioned again. You could cut it from the entire plot and it literally wouldn’t impact the story whatsoever.
So next to it making Louis no better than the carnivores that sold him as livestock (or pretty much exactly like them!), it’s probably the most uselessness panel in the entire manga! (Or one of the top ten worst plot points from the story, whatever you wanna call it)
That all being said, here’s how I approach it in my fanfics…Completely ignore it! I acknowledge and include Louis being involved in and witnessing some illegal stuff while boss of the Shishigumi, but just the drug and meat dealing/eating and cannibalism on his part.
Now, here’s what I think SHOULD have happened with this panel:
Have an entire chapter dedicated to it and it showing Louis’ shock and horror that the livestock business is somehow still active, demand the immediate release of the poor kids in it, and then use his status as the Shishigumi’s boss to find out how he ended up being sold as livestock and where his birth parents are.
OR! This but Louis has time to really think about it and weigh his options: Chose his own survival and truly become a predator animal, just like carnivores or try to save those children and risk his own life in doing so (I was convinced the Shishigumi would kill him if he attempted something like that when I first read the manga and I could see a similar situation happening here too-albeit maybe it would have been whoever runs the livestock trade or it’s customers).
Side thought: If Louis were forced into it (meaning he didn’t want to be part of the livestock trade and tried to have it shit down but was told he could be killed/eaten if he didn’t), he could have had a total identity crisis and feeling immense guilt and (possibly) a real bonding moment where members of the Shishigumi try to comfort him and reveal that this is what life in the Black Market is truly like: That everyone is prey that can be killed and eaten at any time. A place to kill or be killed.
In either scenario, Louis would be forced to re-think his entire belief system and previous convictions about what it means to be predator and prey animals and which side he’s on. This could have also been a chance for him to truly come to terms with his past and find closure for what had happened to him, which arguably could have been just as impactful (if not more so) than Louis meeting Ibuki and the Shishigumi.
TLDR: That panel of Louis selling kids as livestock is completely useless and is a terrible missed opportunity for character growth and serious angst.
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Ons gets more absurd each chapter and I don't know what to think about it. So here are some points I'd like to discuss just to get it out of my head.
Beware, this is a lot of negativity. And despite all my criticism I will keep reading it because I still enjoy the story for the most part. For all I know, the things I don't like rn might lead to cooler plot points in the future.
Kagami is still trying to redeem Guren, which I'm tired of. Yes, I'm back on my hating Guren shit. "Guren is trustworthy", said Mika, after having found out that Guren played a part in the killing of their family just so he could then make the kids dependent on him to take advantage of them. If anyone, then Mika should understand that this is complete bs, since he's not attached to him. Guren the tragic hero. Idc idc, if you killed the people who mean most to me to manipulate me for whatever reason, even if it was to save the world, I'd still be pissed and never forgive you. Just let Guren be the bad guy and leave it at that. I like villains, I would like him. Just let him be unapologetically abusive and let the children taste the betrayal of their superior lieutenant. That would actually add so much delicious tension to the story. But it feels like the narrative wants me to love Guren for what he's done when in reality I just wanna call CPS on him for doing this to my children.
Shinoa's writing got worse and we all know it. She had so much potential but now she's just the potential love interest. Her personality is having a crush. Whenever she could have character development it gets reversed again. Also weird how she's a metaphor for desire. That's such a stereotypical female anime character trope. Not to mention that Mitsuba is barely even present. But what do I expect from a shonen manga written by a dude?
All the kids are forced by the narrative to always consider Yuu first because he's the main character. Why would they have their own wants and needs anyways, amirite? They initially went against him to get their families back, which wasn't the smartest approach but I blame that on Guren again because he immediately told them to raise their weapons, which was unreasonable, but then they started crying and apologizing to calm Yuu down and saying "oh we're so sorry for wanting our families back, even though you like Mika". The whole situation is laughable.
Yuu was teased to become villainous and selfish. He wanted to protect Mika. He wanted to save Mika and he had a plan. So much so that he devoured Ashera and what not. Now he wants to save everyone, which is another stereotypical shonen trope, so I'm not mad. But a little disappointed. Because it was predictable and I feel like this arc could've been so much more intense, exciting and angsty. About betrayal and learning to put yourself first. And Yuu being less of the happy go lucky, stupid protagonist. Like he was in the very beginning of the story, where he was like "I don't need family". He could've turned back into that! The angst!!
Basically, none of the characters have good development. Yuu and Mika started something because they had opposite development in the first arc, that happened in a flash. But then they stuck to that and never changed anything anymore.
Again, sorry for being so negative. I'm not trying to say I could do it better and I'm not gonna go off and write a canon divergent fanfic either. I'm just fed up rn.
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petertingle-yipyip · 4 months
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okay bestie I have an actual question for you about writing, because I always just have so many ideas but don't know where to start/never complete them. so like how do you start do you plot everything out and then start writing or are you writing and figure it out during? and like how do you keep motivated writing every chapter? omg and what do you do when something you had in mind doesn't work out with the plot? help pls
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hi bestie!! i talk a lot so imma put a break for others to scroll past lol
so, ideas. inspiration. motivation. plot. it comes and goes. movies, music, random quotes, plot ideas/requests come from like anywhere for me. what i tend to do is name the project, write a basic summary and what character it’s for, and see what happens. i don’t force myself to finish any one project (hence the abandoned SOUR miniseries and recently revisited sin miedo). that’s in part why WCS and MAG have been such long running sagas here, bc i don’t force myself to write anymore.
when i did, i produced content that i didn’t love. i was posting stories that i wasn’t confident in and that i read and am embarrassed to have put that out.
typically, it starts with a bit of dialogue that comes to me in the shower or when i’m daydreaming at work. from there, i kinda work backwards. how’d they get to that conversation? what are the implications? what’s the setting? what do they know? all that world building fills itself in and sometimes i pick stuff for the fun of it.
when something doesn’t work, i change something. for example, mag s1 has some stuff that doesn’t match the canon timeline bc one, i didn’t plan on extending the series so far so i was nitpicking what i wanted and two i didn’t have the episodes in front of me bc i wasn’t planning a whole canon journey. i took out some relationships (matt x claire for example) bc it didn’t serve my plot.
i’ve also rewritten plots bc i just didn’t like them. i have a project where the reader is matt’s gf and is meeting foggy/karen but matt has the idea for a game where they just flirt with each other till his friends figure it out. initially i had it to where foggy starts flirting with her and introduces her and she plays along till matt gets too jealous but i didn’t like the way it was turning out. so i scrapped it and started over.
a big part of writing, in my opinion, is drafts and edits. ultimately, whatever your writing, it’s your universe. it’s your project. if something isn’t working, you are well within your rights to change it. it’s not canon until you post it so rewrite it as many times as you have to. no one said you have to immediately post what you write. it’s a little different with mag since i’ve established her entire dd canon and hinted her punisher canon so i have to fill the gaps of what ive already made so i have to keep referencing what ive posted to make sure she’s consistent but that’s it own thing.
lastly, let’s talk motivation. girly pop, it’s gonna come and go. i take so many breaks in posting or writing just bc im at a part that i don’t wanna write but i have to for plot purposes. sometimes i hate the exposition of a piece but i just wanna do the actual important scenes. so i lag and avoid it until im like ‘yknow what, let’s just do it’ and this is where the edits and drafts come in. usually, it’s just a ‘let’s throw some words on the page and come back to it’ situation. sometimes i rewrite all of it, sometimes i don’t, other times it’s just a few edits here or there.
the base of writing as i understand it is trusting yourself and your ideas. some stuff is gonna take off, like woman, others will fall flat like dirty thoughts (i think that’s what i called it, a marc spector piece). it’s also your blog so as long as it feels genuine to you and your abilities, go for it :)
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dr-lizortecho · 11 months
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Tagged by @skloomdumpster this was so much fun!
Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?
-10 -> very dissuaded
0 -> don’t care either way
10 -> very enticed
nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.
Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional
(For me this is also overall up in the air -again see kaliz mpreg fic- cause I read primarily in small fandoms and for rare pairs, in which you take what you can get)
Age Gap: -5
Okay, so you guys all know I LOVE a good age gap, however, the thing is nine times out of ten when this is tagged its because canonically there isn’t one and the author has chosen to create one for whatever reason. And generally those reasons aren’t to my taste. But obviously I’m all here for Max/Michelle, Clara and the Doctor, Delena and a million other options. I’m just not big into fan created age gaps- cause they generally mean the author is enticed by the age gap itself vs. the possibility within the characters dynamic.
Codependency: 0
At the end of the day this is one of my all time favorite tropes (Psychic Twins is my favorite rnm dynamic for a reason, lol). But the tricky thing is I’ll only want to read it for a dynamic that makes sense to me personally, cause at the end of the day I want the characters to feel untouched by the author and transplanted into the fic (with allowances for au’s actively altering them in believable ways! cause I love a good twist on a characters trauma and backstory that has them acting like a changling of their original self)
Enemies to lovers: 10/10
More like “antagonism” to lovers. This is my drug of choice. Like have them spit angry words at each other and shove each other into walls, ave them snarl at the realization they wanna fuck, make those little guys squirm uncomfortably at the very premise of finding that person enticing.
Enemies With Benefits: 5/10
See above. Depends on the rest of the tags and general vibe of the fic, cause adding complicated sex rituals can elevate or ruin the dynamic.
Fake Dating/Relationship: 10/10
I will click through to the fic every. single. time. (Given it’s a pairing I’m at least intrigued by). But if for whatever reason the set up doesn’t appeal I’ll forlornly walk away. But hey! It’s like antagonism to lovers, but less “we’re arguing but now- hey, we’re close…” and more “forced intimacy and now the lines are blurred and I don’t know what’s real anymore” always a banger.
Found Family: No.
Okay, so if this is tagged and it’s not like an addition to “hey, this is a platonic work” it’s a solid-hard-forever-no. Because the author is telling me, and I get to decide what is a family.
Friends To Lovers: 5/10
Really depends on if it fits the ship and of course the other plot pieces.
Friends With Benefits: 10/10
Not gonna lie I really do like a messy/sexy situation that involves the characters spiraling about their emotions and feelings. And this trope does some of the best groundwork for that emotional atmosphere.
Hurt/Comfort: 0/10
Not generally my cup of tea, however, if it’s tied to canon events I’m intrigued, or paired with some other fun tag/idea.
Love Triangle: No.
Generally this exists with vitriol against a character (usually a woman :/ or coc) even when it doesn’t this is the least inspired way to get drama and emotion out of the characters, I no doubt already sat through it in canon, so unless there’s an endgame poly relationship tagged or it’s a pwp and a threesome it’s so far from my thing I’ll scroll right passed.
Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 9/10
I mean you don’t read Clex fic without enjoying that level of drama
Monster Fu… Relationship: 3/10
Depends on other tags/plot/character, cause I do love a good werewolf and/or vampire au (mermaids too!)
Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: -10/10
Just not my thing. Unless it’s designed to be a certain dynamic. Cause yeah, Joniz with this tagged feels right and natural- but not like Lizobel or something.
Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 0/10
Another case of it has to already exist within canon and not being forced onto the characters.
Poly: 0/10
This tells me nothing the relationship tags didn’t already (sorry), so my brain will skip right on over it. I mean- I already expect to be reading a poly work if the fic is tagged Max Evans/Liz Ortecho/Kyle Valenti and if I’m not I’m gonna be soooo sad, but oh well.
Pregnancy: 0/10
Depends on length, focus and if it feels right for the characters.
Second Chance: 0/10
Depends on the rest of the tags. But generally I’ve seen it used for something that occurred off screen before the fic starts, which isn’t my thing.
Sex To Feelings: 1000/10
Yep! I mean I can’t fathom them not going hand in hand, imo there really can’t be a good sex scene without layers of emotion. It’s what my Demi-sexual ass is here for, seeing them be all emotionally vulnerable and compromised.
Slowburn: 10/10
Especially tagged with Friends to Lovers!!!
Soulmates: 3/10
Soulmate au??? Yes, I’ll consider it. The author telling me their opinion forcefully and that they don’t like multi-shipping??? Maybe not then.
No pressure tags @pleasantfanartist @theamazingcameronblack @spcecowboyyy @fiona-glenanne-westen @crepuscularqueens and anyone else who sees this and wants to participate count yourself tagged by me <3
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musclesandhammering · 3 years
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Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)
Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.
OOC Bullshit
• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.
• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.
• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.
Shitty LGBT Rep
• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.
• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.
• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”
• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.
Thematic Issues Galore
• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.
• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).
• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.
• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.
• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.
• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.
Missed Opportunities
• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.
• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.
• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.
• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.
Various S*lki Fails
• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.
• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.
• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.
• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.
• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.
I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.
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liesoverthec · 3 years
Text
OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 2
Hi y’all I’m back! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged the last details post - I sort of just thought people would like it and it would die, so to see it travel and hopefully reach more writers was so great so thank you again!
Details under the cut since I went a little crazy 😅 and if this is your first time seeing this, the first part, and any future parts, can be found under this tag here!
Quick note before I get to the details - always, ALWAYS take details from dialogue or plot over details from the set or props if they contradict each other. The writers have the ultimate say over what happens on the show/for the characters, so whatever they say goes, even if it goes against something props has already laid down (eg, Chim’s birthday, sorry Libra crew. He’s an Aries or a Pisces). So keep that in mind for the future in case some of these details I have which are from props/set are changed in the future, or if you’ve noticed something yourself!
Also if you have questions, I am MORE than happy to answer them, although if you leave them in the tags on this post I’m probably gonna lose them, so if it’s something you’d genuinely like an answer to, drop it in my inbox! Besides my standard “ask” tags, I’m also tagging asks about canon details with this tag here. Every time I make a big post like this, I’m going to link all the asks I’ve gotten since the last post, but if you’re looking for more info in the mean time, that’s the other spot to look!
Buck has a grill on his patio.
Eddie doesn’t hang Christopher’s art on the fridge - instead it is either hung on the corkboard in Chris’ room to the left of the door, or Eddie puts it in an actual frame and hangs it using a hammer/nails in Christopher’s room. All the Diaz family has on their fridge is a bunch of bendy people magnets. (I absolutely ADORE him putting all this effort into treating Christopher’s art like it’s something you’d buy from a professional artist).
Info on everyone’s ages can be found here. (Little more discussion of Chim’s situation here).
Albert has a bachelor’s degree! I don’t know in what though, except that it’s some field for which is a Master’s is useful.
Athena was in a sorority in college, Delta Sigma Theta. Their website describes them as “ ...a sisterhood comprised primarily of Black, college-educated women ... [that] considers the issues impacting the Black community and boldly confronts the challenges of African Americans and, hence, all Americans ”, which I love for Athena, and feel is very in-character for her at that time in her life!
Chim is an aviators dude. When he wears sunglasses, they’re always aviators.
Athena also wears nothing but aviators.
Bobby wears square aviators.
Eddie, on the other hand, always wears Wayfarers.
Buck either doesn’t really like sunglasses or he constantly forgets he owns them, since we’ve only seen him wear them once in 60 eps, in a move I’m pretty sure was ONLY for dramatic effect.
Hen’s sunglasses change style over the seasons like her regular glasses do, but she tends to like browline sunglasses.
Info on Christopher’s school can be found here!
There are two colors of dispatch polo, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhythm or reason for who wears what. Maroon - Maddie and Linda. Blue - Josh and May. Jamal has actually worn both maroon and blue, so it doesn’t seem to be TOTALLY set in stone although I’ve never seen anyone else switch. Sue is too badass to wear a dispatch shirt.
Both Bobby and Eddie drive 4 door pickups. Bobby’s is navy. Eddie specifically has a black, 2020 GMC Denali 1500 pickup truck (in case you want to specifically look up what the inside of it looks like or what features it has 😂)
Info on the 118’s medical certifications can be found here.
Correction to Eddie’s living situation from last post: no next door neighbors, but instead UPSTAIRS neighbors. (Pointed out by Abigail in this ask). Also since someone else was wondering the notes of the last post - no, there is absolutely no discussion on the show of whether or not Eddie rents the apartment or owns it. But based on the fact that it’s 1) LA and 2) an apartment, my guess would be he rents it.
When Maddie isn’t feeling like herself, she tends to straighten her hair rather than curl it. It seems to be more when she’s uncertain about her place in her own and other people’s lives, rather than just when she’s simply worried - eg it’s straight in 2B, when she’s uncertain if she wants to continue working as a dispatcher/is unsure about her relationship with Chim.
For work, Chim, Eddie and Buck all use black duffel bags with a LAFD patch on the top. Hen uses several different cute bags, and Bobby seems to have a plain black duffel bag.
Watches - Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Buck all wear their watch on their left wrist (but Athena ONLY wears hers for work, she takes it off at home.) Eddie wears his on his right wrist, and Maddie doesn’t wear one.
Chim (and Maddie by default) literally still have the exact same couch as in the pilot. (Which means that Chim has cuddled Tatiana on that couch, AND Albert has had sex on it. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE, BUCKLEY-HANS 😂)
The 118 has five different rigs - the engine (E118), the ladder truck (T118), two ambulances and the captain’s truck. 95% of the time, when the team is chilling in the cab of a rig and chatting (eg the ‘stuck under a live telephone pole’ scene in Jinx), they’re in the engine, not the truck. (Which I personally learned recently are NOT interchangeable terms!)
Athena and Michael got married when Athena was 37.
If you’d like to give Maddie a full name beyond “Maddie”, you should use Madeline. (I know, I know, in 4x04 she says Maddie is the name on her birth certificate, and that you should never use props details if they contradict script details, but I always thought that was a super weird exchange in 4x04 which could be explained by Maddie getting a nickname since she was born when Margaret and Phillip, you know, actually loved their kids and showed it, so of course Buck doesn’t get one, and in 4x04, Maddie was trying to avoid the entire issue of why she got one and Buck didn’t. But! Do what you want, and use Madeline as the full version of Maddie if you’d like, since that’s what’s on the BOLO in 2x13 😂)
Athena’s call sign is 727 L30, but she doesn’t have a specific squad car - the number changes throughout the series.
Chim really likes chewing gum, but he’s the only one out of the entire family!
The station has an Xbox One S, and it’s white.
In the real LAFD, there are stations 1 through 114. To avoid confusion while filming on the streets (I’m assuming), our fictional LAFD never uses the number of a real station. So if you want another station for a fic, and you want something that would be real in OUR universe, use the numbers 115 and above. They’ve gone as high as 221 in our universe.
Battalions - station 118 is in Battalion 7, which is also not a battalion in real Los Angeles. The 118 has interacted w/ Battalion 1, which is a real battalion, but other ‘non-real which makes them more likely for our universe’ battalions include numbers: 3, 8, 13, 16, 19 and above.
S1 Buck knew the term Jedi, but based on context, didn’t understand AT ALL the context provided by Star Wars, so there’s another edge of his pop culture limits for you.
Chim is the most tech-savvy out of everyone, hands down.
Athena has a VERY active Twitter account.
Abuela’s house number is 8902. I don’t have a street name for you unfortunately though. :/
Athena’s favorite flowers are white roses. None of the other women are really flower people.
Michael likes to wear purple.
When they’re at a call, Buck does pretty much all of the stuff with the hammer and the saw. Eddie does all the work needed with the drill.
Harry goes to Meadowbrook Elementary.
Buck lives on the fourth floor of his apartment building, across the hall from Apt. 416. The lovely @lovelessmotel found this listing for what is more or less the apartment. What happened was: the set crew rented this apartment for the one episode at the end of s2 when Buck moved in, and then over the summer before s3 built their own set of it, and changed some things - eg giving him an island, and moving the sink to a second counter against the far wall, you can see the changes here in this amazing gif set by the awesome Austen, but the listing should let you click around a little more upstairs and figure out dimensions better than what the show provides!
When Athena and Hen go out to eat together, it’s always fast food burgers and fries.
Waffles are Athena’s favorite food, and tiramisu is her favorite dessert.
Every takeout we’ve seen Buck eat has always been in a Chinese food takeout container, and we know he likes Thai food the best. EXCEPT! The one time we see him eat takeout with Eddie and Christopher, they have pizza. So take from that what you will......
Eddie has a cell phone and a landline.
Chim is a shameless multiple texter.
Chim and Bobby sleep closest to the door in their respective bedrooms (both right side of the bed if you are standing at the foot, facing the headboard), and Athena and Maddie sleep furthest away from the door (left side).
Some canon last names for other firefighters at the station in case you wanna add more people to a fic - Mitchell, Sanchez, Serrano (woman), Porter, Meyers (woman), Maxwell, Voyta
Hen and Karen really love decorating their house with dark/red wood.
Karen is Mommy and Hen is Mama.
Bobby has a brother, and a grandmother, and that’s literally ALL we know about his family outside of Marcy and the kids.
Evidence points to Eddie being the oldest child in his family.
Karen has multiple brothers (no sisters), but no idea how many - just that one of them is named Trey, and one of them lives in LA and has kids. They might be the same brother and they might not be.
Both Hen and Athena are only children.
Athena has been on the police force for 30 years.
Christopher and Denny are the same age (born in 2011), and Harry is two years older than them.
Michael lives in apartment 308.
The bank in this universe is CalAm.
Hen and Karen have a picture of Denny, May and Harry on their fireplace mantel.
Eddie having a black thumb + a lot of plants in his living room = him buying fake plants bc he likes the aesthetic ™ or someone (cough Carla cough) is taking care of them for him.
The COVID timeline in OG’s universe is fucked up compared to the real world’s, so it shouldn’t be used as a way to measure time! They just throw it in wherever it makes sense for the story they want to tell (eg the vaccines in s4 ep 8), since s3 was both done before COVID hit but also airing while it was happening. It makes absolutely no sense for May to graduate in March nor for Chris to be going to what is specifically labeled summer camp, and the vaccine plotline was INCREDIBLY early, even for real life, so don’t use anything from that as a measure of time. I’ve found except in specific examples, eg the two tsunami episodes, it’s very safe to say every episode covers a week - fall holidays on the show line up with their real life counterparts, indicating about the same amount of time is passing for us and them.
On that note - Jee-Yun was born in late January, early February 2021. (Conceived in Pinned, which was end of March/beginning of April, meaning Maddie was around a month along at May’s graduation in May ➡ 42 weeks + 3 days from then = late Jan/early Feb. Which unfortunately means we most likely won’t see her birthday celebrated on screen. If we assume she was conceived on the date Pinned aired, aka the very sexy hotel scene, then January 21st or 22nd would be Jee’s birthday, depending on if she was born after midnight or not.
Buck has had at least one other Jeep between the one Maddie gave him, and the one he has now, which means that when he needs a new car, he is purposefully choosing Jeeps.
I hope this was all as interesting/enjoyable to you as it was to me! And just to repeat - I love answering questions so pls let me know if you have any at all ❤
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
Tagging: @buckbuckley
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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years
Text
Flaws
Written for @honeysucklesteve​’s 4k writing challenge! If you haven’t, go check her out because she’s amazing!
Pairing: Mickey Henry x fem!Reader
Summary: You hate his music taste. He hates yours. You have a bad habit of stealing his gigs. He has a bad habit of fucking you until you can’t walk straight. Everyone has flaws. What are you to do about it?
Word Count: 3822
Warnings: Cursing, hate sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling, slight edging, there’s a mirror involved, drugs, alcohol, clubbing, smoking, one mention of lung cancer, mentions of Monday’s plot, so slight spoilers; (I hope I’m not forgetting anything. These kinds of warnings are new to me. If I am, feel free to tell me.)
18+ PLEASE!!! MINORS DNI!!!
A/N: I know I haven’t posted in a while, but here you go! I’m so nervous about posting this. Honestly. I feel like I kinda rushed it a little? I dunno if it’s good. Uhm, I will say that Mickey is not soft in this. You know how he’s all cute and flirty in the movie? Yeah. Not here. I have plans to write for him later on where he’s more on character and adorable and all that, but it’s enemies to lovers and he hates reader and reader hates him. So. Yeah. Have fun with that.
This is a few firsts for me; first published smut, first Mickey Henry fic, and first enemies-to-lovers ever! I’m attached to friends-to-lovers (my parents’ fault), so going in the opposite direction is exciting and I hope it works out! (We’ll see what it can become after it’s been written.) 
Also! Yes, I’m adding the link to the inspiration of the remix here. You’ll see what I’m talking about. I imagine more bass, but that’s basically it.
As always, all mistakes are mine and please excuse them as it’s not beta’d! Be kind to yourselves and others! Stay tuned and enjoy!
Part Two - Addictions
My Masterlist
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*****
Between the tumultuous, voice losing cheers and the pounding, headache inducing bass, it’s a miracle the occupants of the building can hear anything at all. The large room is doused in bright pinks, purples and blues, glitter getting into every pore and crack, the smell of cigarette smoke and booze lingering in the air. 
Bodies pressed together uncomfortably tight, breath and sweat mixing in a way that can’t be enjoyable, but no one notices because they’re all too high and drunk. There’s a couple swallowing each other in every dark corner of the room. A group of guys looking to get some are laughing rather obnoxiously at the bar, having consumed far too much alcohol to be safe. 
Bouncers are escorting people out left and right; a streaker who decided to get on a table and dance, a couple who took it a bit too far over the bar counter, a group of girls who were no doubt too young to be in such an environment. Boisterous, chaotic, borderline dangerous.
There’s no place he’d rather be on a Friday night.
Up on the center stage, playing around with his tracks, messing with the turntables, pulse connecting to the music, head bobbing with the beat. He’s in control. 
Every party. Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. Every weekend.
He’s in control.
It’s what he liked so much about doing what he does. Once he’s booked, he’s booked. It’s his night. He controls the sounds people hear. He controls what they dance to. How they dance. The pace of the night. The feeling of the night. And no one can take it away from him.
No one, that is, except you.
He hears you before he sees you, which is nearly impossible considering how loud the music is, but you somehow manage to take control of the room the moment you walk in it. You always get what you want with a bat of your eyelashes. And if you aren’t given it, you take what you want without regard for other people.
It really really pisses him off.
You’re laughing with a group of your friends, guys and girls’ heads swiveling to stare at you, captivating every heart in the room as per usual. You always show up with the same group, but he doesn’t even know any of their names even though you run in the same circles. It’s not like you end up hanging out with them for long, and you never leave with them. No, no. You always leave with him.
And that pissed him off too. 
He can’t help it. He has absolutely no control over himself when it comes to you. And he hates you for it. He hates that he lets you take over with only a few snarky comments in his defense. He hates that you always get into his head. And he hates that you’re the best fuck he’d ever had and he can never get enough of you.
But most of all…he hates your music.
“Hey, hey! There he is!” You send him that infuriating smile of yours, a drink in your hand. It’s a flaw of yours. One of many, but probably the biggest. Alcohol. Like him and his cigarettes. He watches you with narrowed eyes as you effortlessly move through the crowd, your girls and guys seeming to vanish into the mob with every step you take.
You end up in front of the stage, leaning on it and giving him a smirk as you sip on your beverage choice of the night. It’s always something different. The only common factor is the alcohol you crave, letting it wash over your tongue, burn down your throat and slip into your veins.
“Heya, Mouse!”
“Don’t call me that!” He shouts with a growl over the music, pulling his headphones down around his neck. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”
“I got called this morning! Said there was a gig tonight!”
He shakes his head, gesturing to the set up. “You’re a bit too late there, sunshine! Gig’s booked!”
You shake your head back at him. “I’m taking over from here, Mouse!”
“Says who?!”
“Argyris!”
His jaw clenches, his forehead creasing, a skeptical scoff leaving his lips. “Fuck you! No he didn’t! He said this one’s mine!”
You just give a shrug, no cares in the world, downing the rest of your drink. “You can fuck me later! For now, if you wanna whine about it, Daddy’s over there!”
Another growl leaves his chest as he scowls at you, eyes darting to where you’re pointing. Argyris is by the bar, of course, swaying on the seat. Barking out a laugh, he looks at you with a shake of his head. “He’s so drunk he probably shit himself again! You can’t take his word for it!”
“I can when he called me this morning, sober as he can get!” You shoot back, hopping up to stand besides him. “Besides! Someone’s gotta make sure these people have an actual good time!”
“Don’t touch anything until I get back!” He snaps, pointing warningly at you as he starts to walk towards Argyris.
You smile innocently, even though he knows you’re anything but. “Yes, sir!”
He marches over to his asshole friend and grabs him by the shirt, turning him around. “Mickey! Havin’ a good time?!”
Mickey glares, feeling his blood boil and his ears heat up, not from the proximity of strangers around him. “What the fuck?! You told sunshine over there that she could have my gig?!”
“I thought you’d wanna break! Dance and relax for a little bit! It’s only a two hour slot I gave her!”
“You should’ve fucking asked, Argyris! I don’t want her anywhere near my-” His sentence is cut off by a change in the music and he whips over to the stage where you’re grinning and jumping with the crowd. You catch his eye and throw him a wink, holding one of the headphone cups over your ear. “ Oh for the love of - she’s messing with my stuff!”
“I thought you liked her!”
Spluttering, Mickey gapes at the other man in disbelief. “Like her? I can’t stand her! She’s so fucking annoying!”
“What’s so annoying about her?!”
Mickey snatches the drink Argyris was about to gulp down and slams it on the counter. “She’s a spoiled fucking brat! Everyone lets her do whatever she wants! She steals half my fucking gigs! And her music is shit! Listen to this!”
Argyris looks around the room and shrugs. “Everyone else seems to like it! Sure it’s different than your disco-”
“It’s not disco!”
“But it’s a crowd pleaser! Just relax! Have a drink and go dance!”
“Argyris!” Wanting to scream in frustration, he watches the man stumble off to get another drink down the bar. “Dammit! This is fucking shit.” Grumbling to himself, Mickey storms back over to the stage, easily pulling himself up.
You bite your lip and raise an eyebrow at him. “So?! How’d your date with Argyris go?!”
“I hate you so fucking much! Use your own fucking headphones!” He snatches the pair from your neck, pulling the cord out. “Why do you always have to steal my gigs?!”
You shrug, leaning forwards to brush your lips against his ear. “Yours are so much fun.”
His tongue darts out to wet his lips, eyebrows furrowing. This always happens. Every time. The moment he feels in control, you do something and he feels every ounce of himself slipping away. It’s the reason he fucks you. To take back that control he so easily gives to you. To make sure you understand that on the weekends, he’s in charge.
But not tonight. No, no. Not tonight. He refuses to get caught up in that game tonight. You wouldn’t end up in an alley or some bathroom with him. He wouldn’t end up on your couch or in his kitchen with you. He refuses to let it happen. Again.
Instead, he lets out a chuckle and nods. “Yeah. Okay. Whatever sunshine.” He takes a step back, giving you a smirk as your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You have fun playing your shitty music!”
“Have fun moping!” You call back, turning to the table and ignoring him completely as he groans and jumps off the stage.
Good God. You’re infuriating.
But so is he.
You hate Mickey Henry. You just do. You hate that he has zero responsibilities and gets away with it. You hate that he can charm his way out of any situation. You hate how immature he is and how no one ever forces him to grow up. And you hate how easily you let him take charge when he’s with you. After a life full of people making choices for you, you crave control, but with him? The moment he tells you to get on your knees, you fall, no matter where you are or what you’re doing.
But most of all…you hate his music.
You take his gigs to save people from listening to it, but also so he knows he can’t talk every situation into his favor. That Argyris can’t always take care of his job for him. He never checks up on gigs once Argyris tells him he has them. So it’s really his fault for not taking some responsibility.
Watching from the stage as your music flows through you, vibrating your bones and sinking into your skin, you’re not surprised to see him get out a cigarette as he heads to a mutual acquaintance of yours. He has many flaws, but that’s a major one. Like you and your alcohol. Him and his cigarettes. You wouldn’t be surprised if you learn a couple months from now that he has lung cancer.
Mickey is talking low to the guy and you already know what’s going on. That was a flaw you both shared. Drugs. He is much more intense than you though. While you’d be fine with some pot, he almost always hits hard with cocaine. Not that you’re innocent from that type yourself - you’d done it multiple times with the man himself if you ended up at each other’s place. Never in the bedroom. You never made it that far, and you don’t really care to. But after those times bent over the table, being pounded into the couch, hanging against the wall, you’d get high with him before one of you takes off.
You’re not exactly sure what happened earlier. You were a bit shocked when he stepped away. Not that you usually left so early, but he didn’t even stay to bicker some more.
Not that you care. You’re just…curious. Maybe he’s finally growing tired of the game you’ve been playing. You’ve been playing it for a few years now. With that weird little pause last year.
You actually thought he had changed.
Having run into him at a party, you prepared yourself for the arguing that no doubt would end in sex. But it didn’t. It didn’t even start. He was with someone. Like, steady with someone. As in dating someone. Living with her. To the point where his baby mama actually agreed to let him keep his boy in their apartment as long as they were together.
It was a weird six months. You two actually had real conversations. You knew how soft and goofy he could get; you had loads of mutual friends and often went to the same parties so you’d seen that side of him. It was just…odd because it never came out with you. But it did then. And you…liked it. You didn’t see him as often, especially once his kid was cleared to live with them. He stopped going out on weekends, started just attending the small shindigs your friends hosted, worked from home instead of DJing.
But then his girl - what was her name? Claire? Caitie? You can’t remember - left for a job in the States just a few months ago and he was back to square one. His baby mama took back the custody privileges, he went back to partying every weekend, and you fell right back into your petty bickering and rough fucking.
You feel bad. Really, you do. You heard that he’d actually loved that chick. And you know he wanted to see his kid more. You knew about the room at his place. But that almost made you hate him more. That he went right back to his old self. He didn’t even try. He got a taste of being a responsible adult, and then let it go.
Because no matter how hard people try, flaws are flaws. And no one can change that much.
As the night goes on, more booze enters your system, while more cocaine enters his. There’s the occasional glare or immature finger raising between you two. Mickey even sticks his tongue out at you while dancing with some broad, a smirk lifting up the corners of his mouth as yours twist down and your eyes roll.
Your features quickly morph into smug amusement as an idea pops into your head and his eyes narrow. What are you up to? He quickly finds out as you stop the music and bring a microphone to your lips.
“Hey, hey, party people! Everyone’s night going fantastic?!” Cheers are your response. Mickey scowls, not liking where this is going, and starts heading your way. You wink at him. “I’m gonna change it up for just this one song! It’s a dedication song to a good friend of mine! It’s a bit different than the usual stuff, but it’s a bop, I promise! Here’s to the Mouse!”
He immediately freezes as the song starts. “Meeska! Mooska! Mickey Mouse!” He feels his face heat up, his fists balling up at his sides, glaring at you and your shit eating grin as you roll your body to the beat, his feet taking him to the stage.
Effortlessly lifting himself onto it once more, he grabs both your wrists in one of his larger ones to stop the music without you interfering, his rings digging into your skin. “Aww! But, Mouse! We didn’t even get to the roll call!”
“Shut. Up.” He grits out through clenched teeth, putting something else on absentmindedly. He didn’t want Argyris on his ass later for leaving the crowd without music. “God. Stop being a fucking pain in my fucking ass for one fucking minute.”
You roll your eyes, but he’s pulling you away before you can reply. Next thing you know he’s shoving you into the bathroom, growling at the girls that were smoking up the place to get out.
“You think you’re so cute, don’t you, princess?” He hisses in your ear, slamming you against the door once the girls left. He’s so tired of giving in to you, but he can’t help it, crashing his lips against yours messily. Teeth and tongue, the taste of smoke and the fruity drink you had chosen for the night mixing, only making him press closer. Your hands get pinned above your head and he’s pulling your skirt up, bunching it at your waist. It’s rough and careless and fueled by loathing, but when is it not? “Think you’re so funny? Huh?”
“Yeah.” You breath, smirking as he slots a thigh between your legs, squeezing your hips and pressing you down against him, flexing the muscle and making you squirm.
His teeth are biting at your bottom lip and tugging, his hands dragging your clothed core along his thigh. “Let’s see how funny you think you are when I’m fucking you so hard you forget how to breathe.”
Your breath hitches and your hands previously above your head clutch onto his shirt at the friction against your clit. It’s not enough and he knows, but you don’t tell him. “All this over a silly song?” You jest.
He sneers back at you, ignoring your tease. “Did you get jealous, sunshine? Is that what happened? Is that why you decided to be a little shit?”
“Jealous?” You scoff as he attacks your neck, your hands quickly undoing his belt before he shoves his pants down, his briefs following along with your panties. “Jealous of you, maybe. That girl was hot. Way outta your lea - oh shit.”
You always forget how deep he reaches inside you, how much the stretch is. He’s not soft about it, entering you in one swift thrust, your hips connecting. His hands are dimpling your bare thighs, hefting you up so your legs wrap around his waist, rings on his fingers no doubt making imprints. The door against your back starts rattling with every movement, but the music outside was too loud for anyone to hear it.
“Not so mouthy now, are we?” He snaps in time with his hips. He can feel you tightening around him, your fingers dragging down his chest, trying desperately to pull his shirt off.
“C’mon, Mouse. That's all you got?” You pant out, a little whine leaving your lips when he leaves you suddenly, dropping you to your feet. “Mickey! What-”
He cuts you off by pushing you against the counter, a shout leaving your lip when he takes you from behind, making you surge forwards, your head almost hitting the mirror, pelvis hitting your ass with every piston of his hips. His hand is tangled in your hair and he tugs, making your head snap up. “Look at you. So fucked out. I did that. I’m the best fuck you’ve ever had and we both know it.” He isn’t wrong. Your makeup’s a mess, your hair is wrapped around his fingers.
“You’re the one who keeps fucking me.” You argue back, your spine arching as he hits that perfect spot inside you. Over and over and over.
He growls, leaning forwards to fold over you, his lips by your ear. “And who keep being a fucking brat? Huh? Who keeps coming to my gigs, fucking up my weekend? Practically begging me to fuck you.”
You scowl at him in the mirror. “I don’t beg.”
The chuckle that leaves his lips makes you shiver and you whimper when he tugs your hair harder, the sting of your scalp mixing with the pleasure his cock was giving you.
“You will. You may get everything you want from everyone else, princess, but I’m in charge here. Don’t. You. Forget.” His words are punctuated with a hard thrust, making you lurch forwards, your thighs pressing harshly against the counter.
“Oh God…Mickey,” that familiar tightness in your stomach appears, your eye clenching shut as your toes curl. “I’m so close…”
“Open your goddamn eyes. Look who’s doing this to you. Who fucking owns this pussy? Huh?”
Your eyes snap open and meet his again, his breaths fanning across your face, rapidly becoming less steady. “You.”
“That’s right. You wanna cum, sunshine?” You nod vigorously. He takes your lobe between his teeth and tugs as he stills his hips, keeping himself inside you. “Then beg.”
And, just like the many times before, you do. You do because you don’t actually care about begging. You care about him ruining you. That’s what you want. And you always get what you want. Fuck your dignity. 
He starts up slowly again as you plead, stopping a couple more times when you feel yourself getting close. “Mickey! Please, for the love of God!” He’s never edged you this much. Not this intensely. And not in the bathroom at a club. Usually it’s just a quickie before you take him home or vice versa.
But you pissed him off tonight. More so than usual. It was a good night and then you came along. Took his job. Played that dumb song. So he needs to remind you. Put you in your place. “You may be spoiled by everyone else, princess, but I’m the only one who can give you what you really want.”
“God, you’re so annoying.” You grind out through your clenched teeth.
He just smirks. “That wasn’t a denial. Let go, Y/N. Make a mess of my cock. Watch yourself fall apart for me.”
You do as he says, watching your jaw go slack in a silent scream, your body tensing, your legs shaking, as he finally lets you have what you want. Body going slack against the counter, he keeps rutting into you until he groans, a string of profanities leaving his lips as he spills inside you.
The both of you stay there, with him folded on top of you, his forehead resting against the nape of your neck, his grip on your hair loosening.
“That was fun. A little different.” You hum as he gets up. He’s glaring at you as you straighten and fix yourself. “Good orgasm though, so thanks for that. But I gotta get back to work now.”
“You’re such a pain in my ass.” He mutters, tucking himself away and pulling his pants up.
“Kinky. Maybe next time.” You wink at him through the mirror and his jaw ticks. He’s so fucking tired of it. Of you. How you let him have that one bit of control and then your right back to controlling the room once you get what you want. There’s so many nights where he wonders if he should just stop giving it to you. But then he’s inside you and he can’t help himself.
He watches you touch yourself up, although you still look thoroughly fucked, but you don’t seem to mind. This is new. You going back to the gig you stole after sex. He wonders if that was the last time for tonight, or if you’d be leaving together later too.
“I fucking hate you.” He spits out as you open the door, wanting to get the last word in.
You just smirk the same way he did to you earlier. “Yeah…but you love fucking me. Later, Mouse.”
Just like always, you’re the last comment as you walk out nonchalantly, even though he could see the slight wobble in your steps, the door shutting behind you, leaving him alone.
You hate Mickey Henry. You loathe him. You wish you never met him. But you can’t get enough. No matter how many times you convince yourself you have him where you want him, you know you don’t. You’d let him do anything to you. But you can’t stop. Like him and his cigarettes. He’s your flaw. And no matter how bad he is for you, you’re addicted.
Mickey Henry hates you. He loathes you. He wishes he never met you. But he can’t get enough. No matter how many times he convinces himself he’s in control, he knows he’s not. He always gives you what you want at the end of the day. But he can’t stop. Like you and your alcohol. You’re his flaw. And no matter how bad it is for him, he’s addicted.
*****
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@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @breadqueen95​ @marvelettesassemble​ @w-wolfhxrd​ @the-larry-romance​ @abitofeverythinggg​
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honkster · 3 years
Text
Why the Dream SMP’s way of storytelling is IMPOSSIBLE to recreate in any other medium.
This has been in the back of my mind for the longest time. I think I finally got it.
People have talked about this before, and they’ve put forward some good points, and good for them – most of them are correct. It’s the way the ccs interact with each other, it’s how plot is mixed in with banter, that’s all good! I wanna put more out there.
So you know how you open a book to read, you start a new show, you sit down to watch a movie – that’s all produced by some sort of company, someone who made it specifically for you to enjoy. You expect a certain dramatic flair to it, certain cinematic choices, certain ways of writing, certain camera angles, certain reactions to things. That’s just ingrained expectations of things now.
The DSMP? Doesn’t have that.
The low expectations work very much in its favor. It’s a Minecraft role-playing server with a bunch of famous youtubers/streamers, who are all good friends and have great dynamics with each other. So when you expect “just another Minecraft video” but in stream form, or you watch the videos because there are certain people in them, you don’t expect to be dropped into extreme lore and sensitive topics, realistic situations proposed in game form, a combination of serious stuff and just fun times with friends goofing around – and you’re pleasantly surprised.
We, the fandom, are used to it a bit more now. How excellently they manage to make a serious story in such a “ridiculous” medium, how much it affects us all and gets our creative juices flowing. But even the ccs can’t predict some of the things that happen. And that’s fun.
The whole election ending the way it has? That was on us. And it made some of the most angsty content there has been in the DSMP. People still theorize about the arc and make connections to now – that’s pog!
Fundy being adopted by Eret – that sparked the whole “Fundy just wants a dad – let’s get him some love” thing that made FundyWasTaken and other Fundy+someone ships happen. I see a different person paired with Fundy every week, and somehow, I agree with all of them. I really got into Fundy because of that stream where Eret “slept through the adoption” and Fundy confronted his real dad and spent time with his granddad. That little stream gave us more insight into Fundy’s whole character (Nevermind Fundy showing off his acting skills – you go you funky little fox), but also justifies some of his actions now. DryWaters? Wanting to kill Technoblade? Fucked up reasons, but we still love him.
Phil being broken out of house arrest ahead of time – still made a great stream and Phil agreeing with Techno’s want for revenge – that made us all very happy. The SBI!!! The AE! And that’s also a thing!
That even if we do know or have predicted what’s going to happen, begged it out of the ccs basically, it is still incredibly fun to watch. Where some books/shows/movies fall short and reveal too much and end up being “too predictable”, they’re not fun anymore. I read this somewhere before, that sometimes holding back EVERYTHING from the reader, and relying on shock value to make a good story is just bad. Whereas if you progress the story naturally and let the reader make some predictions of their own and then they end up being right – that’s a lot of serotonin right there. It’s the re-readability that makes it slightly better the second time.
The DSMP takes this concept and fucking yeets with it. Letting fans engage in the story, letting them theorize and then be right, even acknowledging the fanart that was made, just engaging with the community that their roleplay created – that makes it so much more fun. I bet that even if the whole script was revealed to the fandom we would still watch every plot stream. Even if we knew vaguely what happens in the stream, we would tune in and enjoy every second of it. Because the ccs are just that good, we love them that much, we love this plot that much.
Oh and the unpredictability helps too. Tommy in exile was the vague concept of a lot of the streams – it’s taken that and ran with it in a lot of different directions. All quite enjoyable.
Having said all of that… The fact that this type of telling a story is impossible to recreate in any other medium is… kinda saddening? It is incredibly unique, and I’d say has things that not a lot of the people that produce mainstream media would even consider. “Just friends hanging out” – how would that make the script progress? “Engagement with the fandom, even considering their wishes for the characters” – but we’re telling a story here!
The only thing I can think of that would come close to the vibe, would be just a bunch of writer friends coming together, thinking up a universe and general plot, and then each deciding to write a few of their own characters in that universe. When one author focuses on their main characters, the side ones can feel left in the dust, or not fleshed out. The DSMP is just “every character can write their own story”, which takes a lot of the strain from the “main writers”. But the general thing of “just friends hanging out” would be taken away from it. We’re being serious here, why would we change the tone so quick?
With all of that in mind… I kinda wanna make some predictions? And I don’t know if they’re correct, but it’s fun to theorize. See?
1. L’manburg will die.
And not just because Techno has 54 withers. The country is cursed – it definitely is. There is little sentimental value that can be felt for a few flimsy stilts built on top of a crater. It might go out in a blaze of glory, with the withers (Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?), but it might just be forgotten. Yeah there have been some angsty headcanons about how “no one cares about L’manburg anymore, save for two people” and it just gets abandoned, but how about it just becoming irrelevant?
This all comes back to Dream, it always does! His want, need for the server to be “one happy family again”, it just means one thing. He wants the server to return to the peaceful anarchy that it was before L’manburg. No rulers, no factions, no nothing.
That’s never going to happen.
Try as he might, Dream cannot affect that change that L’manburg did to the server. The introduction of a faction, one that can exist without the interference of a higher power – why do you think so many factions have sprouted up since? And it’s not even serious factions a lot of the time, it’s just a few friends deciding to build their bases on a plot of land that they claim is a nation now. L’manburg has changed the mindset of these people, now an alliance with somebody is a political move. An alliance doesn’t exist if it doesn’t have a faction, and that faction can remain neutral for only so long.
Basically, L’manburg introduced the factions mod into the server.
And the fact that every faction now has enough relevance to hold weight in a war also means that every nation on the server is doomed to follow the downfall of L’manburg. Eventually, they will get into a fight they can’t win, go up against the wrong people, anger someone they shouldn’t have. All factions will either be destroyed, or lose relevance, until their creators, residents and such just… move on.
(And really you can go into meta and talk about real governments and compare them, but it’s far more simple than that. The server isn’t built for peace, it isn’t meant to be a relaxing place where you can just vibe, it may have been made for a few friends to play Minecraft together, but it has turned into An Author’s Curse. The curse that follows any kind of story being told – the fact that peace is boring. People watched the first streams of the DSMP because they liked the ccs, and that’s valid. But how many more people tuned in to watch the war streams because there was PLOT and there was CHAOS and there WASN’T CALM PEACE ANYMORE – that’s the curse of every writer. That you can write about someone just living their life drama-free, you can make interesting peace with characters or circumstances, but it’s always leading to one inevitable conclusion – war, drama, because people read that. And at this point, it’s just a predictable outcome. No matter how much you say that you are retired, that you’re done with violence (Technoblade), something will happen that will prove to you that you believed in people too much. No matter how “neutral” you may be in the matter, no matter how much you claim that you have no allegiance (Philza), you will be forced to pick one, because out of all the bad things, you pick the least worst one, the most appealing to you, the one that can benefit your want of revenge.
And I can go on, but this is far too deep for one simple reason – The Author’s Curse is so prevalent here because THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO STAKES. It’s a video game – you die? You respawn. Something gets destroyed? You can just rebuild. Sure, you’ll want to kill the person who did wrong to you, but whatever they did wrong can just be replaced, remade, recreated. So why not have wars? Why not cause massive amounts of destruction “for the plot”?
It’s literally a playground. How all authors have their little playground with their characters that they meticulously plan out, the DSMP is that playground for all of these people.
And it’s fun! Sure! I like it! I’m just really skeptical whenever someone in character says that they “just want peace”, “are retired”, “swear off violence”, “are building just a little city for themselves”. Because you can do that, nothing wrong. But eventually, no matter how much you distance yourself from all of the chaos happening, all of the wars, you will return.
Because it is just much more fun.
It’s the curse. A cursed cycle.
And everyone is in it.)
2. The prison.
I don’t have anything on the prison because I don’t have anything on the book. Yeah I’ve done a whole post where I overanalyze what it could be, but it doesn’t make it any clearer. Whatever it is, it’s made out to be a huge plot point, something that can only be revealed when the prison is finished.
Cursed. The prison’s reason for being constructed is the book, but the book is only relevant when the prison is finished. We can only wait, and theorize, as we do.
(My only theory is that the book is information about another op on the server. Or at least something related to op or creative mode. Dream only fears one thing on this server, and that’s Technoblade, so if his one fear is the most skilled player on the server, what else could give him existential fear?)
3. The SBI.
Again, I don’t have anything! Yeah the reunion seems to be going smoothly, one member at a time, but there is already conflict in their beliefs among each other. And all that’s happened is a vague “maybe one day we’ll strike”.
Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?
Is L’manburg’s destruction AGAIN really necessary to hammer home the idea that no one likes that place anymore?
I don’t know. Whatever happens, no one’s in the right. No one’s in the wrong either. They’re all not good people and that’s that on that.
4. The Clingy Duo.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
That’s all.
(Okay seriously? All of these arcs are connected. You know what happens when everything seems to be connected to one another?
A giant, dramatic final showdown between the two opposing sides.
Cause it’s just Chaos vs L’manburg. Those are the sides. People that want L’manburg to exist and people that want it gone. There are no other sides, there isn’t someone who’s like “Well maybe it can exist if we do this and this” cause no one wants to put in anymore effort into this cursed country. The only people were the clingy duo and now they’re separated and everyone is just leaving and Tommy is on the Chaos side like at this point he doesn’t care about L’manburg he just cares about Tubbo but he has to convince Tubbo to leave L’manburg but will Tubbo be convinced but will Tommy even consider leaving L’manburg and breaking free from its curse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Goddamit.)
5. The Egg?
Dunno shit about it. Like the prison – it seems important, but we’re just not being given enough information. Is it a coincidence that the moment Dream commissioned the prison the Egg popped up? Or are the two directly related?
I don’t know. But as long as someone is finding ways to fight the Egg, that’s fantastic. Bad juju indeed.
6. Oh the Butcher Army want to kill Dream!
Hah.
Okay I’ve seen people make the case that the Army is just a bunch of people with trauma repeating the cycle of ab*se that they went through and yes.
Just yes.
And the fact that no one is actually looking at it that way and no one is there to like.. help them or even help them understand that what they are doing is just irrational, even though their reason for doing it and the result they hope to achieve is YES and the only thing that a lot of the people of the server who want peace should try to go for as well, they cannot stand up to Dream on their own. They just can’t, they will get punted into exile. They need allies, and they need powerful ones, people that have also been wronged by Dream and want him gone.
But the cycle continues, and no one knows where it ends.
(Okay but from a writing perspective? Getting rid of Dream is the end goal. It is the be all end all of all conflict, well… most of it, at least most that’s related to the supposed “good side”, or “the side that’s been most victimized”. But from the same perspective, that side is just… no longer. It has proven that is just as bad, if not worse than the final boss. I have to agree that Techno has to pay for his crimes, even though I like him a lot, but Techno did in fact cause insane damage. Yeah L’manburg rebuilt, yeah Wilbur probably caused more – still he isn’t completely free.
But that’s a discussion on morality more than laws.
L’manburg is doomed to die. Dream is doomed to be fought, and probably won against (simply because he has won far too many times already, you know how everyone seems to hate OP characters…). But the Butcher Army is doomed to fail against Dream. So how does that work?
Welp.
Is history repeating itself and interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?
The answer is no.
I’ve repeated that question three times now, and the answer to it is no. No it is not. L’manburg can be destroyed again, and it can be rebuilt again, but the sentimentality that people feel for it will not remain. The cycle of history ends somewhere, and it’s not too far a fetch that it ends here.
So what happens when Technoblade, Philza and Tommy roll up to L’manburg with withers and a destruction wish, only to be met with a bunch of traumatized children with axes and a death wish?
Well, I’ll spare the details, but from a purely writing standpoint…
The two sides team up.
Think about it – The Butcher Army doesn’t care about Technoblade anymore. They’ve seen that Dream is the one pulling the strings, they know that even if they do care about trying to eliminate Technoblade again, they have to get rid of his strongest ally – Dream. But through their anger, they’ve lost their fear. You should fear Dream, he’s a fuckin op. Techno is correct in not wanting to go against him.
But after Tommy? After seeing the Butcher Army at their lowest, screeching about Dream being the villain?
Will Techno finally go past his thinking of “government is evil, always government is source of problem” and realize that Dream has the most evil government in mind for his rule?
I’m still kinda sad that Techno isn’t making the conclusions he should about Dream. But he’s starting to – and really, the SBI-Butcher Army team up is the most logical thing that could happen.
Watch me be completely wrong or miss something and I’ve got ALL of it wrong. I would love that.)
(Also it’s very funny to me that Dream is literally simping for Techno while he’s just here like “Listen bud I would stab you on sight if you didn’t have creative mode”. Dream KNOWS that Techno can and will kill him given the opportunity. Techno knows that that opportunity may never arise.
It’s a weird type of stalemate, to be sure. But goddamn is it interesting.)
Anyway... if you read through all of this... I could bake you a cookie? Thank you! I like to ramble.
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scripts4dreamers · 4 years
Text
Just One Drink
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Part Two, Part Three
AN: Cases at the BAU wear on you after a while Characters: Spencer Reid Pairings: Spencer Reid x reader Spoilers: None Warnings: Mentions of crime and violence
Prompt: “We’re in this together.”
(Do I want to write a part two for this? Maybe. Do I love Spencer Reid and the Criminal Minds bunch in general with all my heart? Most definitely. So feel free to send in requests!)
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You sighed, collapsing into the chair by your desk and burying your face in your hands. It had been a long week. Three missing kids, one crazed killer and less than 72 hours to get them back alive; just another week for the BAU. You tried to remember that you’d signed up for this, that you loved what you did and the people you did it with, and that you had managed to save the kids in the end, but your tired brain didn’t care. Right then, all you really wanted was a mug of hot chocolate and to curl up on your couch with a good book.
“Hey, you okay?” you heard someone ask.
You lifted your head slightly and noticed Spencer Reid had appeared beside your desk without you noticing. He was leaning against the divider you’d set up and was trying to look casual and failing miserably. Spencer had been a part of the BAU for a lot longer than you had and he was a bit of a legend in the Bureau but, for some reason, he always seemed nervous around you. He was nice, of course, and clever, and you enjoyed spending time with him but it took a lot for him to seem properly at ease whenever you were nearby and, right now, you were too tired to want to play nice with anybody.
Maybe it was because you were new, you reasoned, maybe he just wasn’t good at adapting to changes in the team dynamic. Still, he was obviously trying, so you forced yourself to give him a small smile and nod.
“Yeah, I’m all good, just tired.” you answered.
Spencer nodded, like he understood, and pulled up a chair, “I was the same when I’d just joined, every case took the life right out of me. You’ll get used to it.”
“I hope so,” you sighed, resting your head in your hands again, “because there’s no way I can keep going on like this.”
For a long moment there was just silence, until he cleared his throat and asked, “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Your head shot up and you tried to hide the flash of confusion on your face, “Wait, really?”
“Yeah,” Spencer laughed nervously, “contrary to popular belief I’m actually a really great listener.”
“And humble too,” you joked.
“Oh exceedingly so,” he joked back, rising out of his seat, “come on, let’s go get a drink and I’ll prove it to you.”
You considered for a moment. On the one hand, you desperately wanted to get out of the office and remember what it felt like to not be miserable, and you’d been secretly crushing on Spencer since your first day at the BAU, on the other…
You shook your head, “I should stay, I’ve got so much paperwork to get done for this case and-”
Spencer rolled his eyes fondly, reaching down and pulling you to your feet, “And it’ll still be there on Monday,” he interrupted, “Come on, Y/N. I’ll help you with whatever you need later.”
Your heart jumped into your throat at the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your wrist, and you felt a lick of heat run up your neck. It was unfair for a skinny white boy who could describe the plot of every star trek episode ever made in detail to be as attractive as Spencer Reid was. You didn’t know if it was the hair, or his cheekbones, or the way he smiled but, whatever it was, you were a sucker for it so you let yourself get pulled up.
“Okay, Reid, but I’m holding you to that. If I’ve forgotten even one important detail that messes this report up-”
“Y/N, I have an eidetic memory. The report will be perfect,” he smiled, letting your wrist drop and scooping up your bag, “let’s go then, I know the perfect place.”
----------------------
The bar Spencer took you to was small and cozy; busy enough that you could blend in to the crowd without being so loud that it became overwhelming. The drinks weren’t cheap, but they were good, and the booth you’d tucked yourselves into was comfortable and out of the way so you could talk freely. Spencer loved it there. He’d been coming to that bar since he’d first joined the BAU and, even though a bar wouldn’t usually be his first choice for a happy place, this one was packed to the brim with happy memories.
Across from him, you were sipping your second whiskey sour in silence, casting nervous glances up at Spencer every few seconds. Something was definitely wrong. It wasn’t just the dark circles under your eyes that worried him, or the way you never really sat still, constantly glancing around the room and over your shoulder, it was everything. Usually you were so...alive at work. You’d joke around with Morgan, swap stories with Prentiss, brazenly flirt with Hotch and Rossi until they’d crack and give you a smile. In every situation you made a point to add value, whether that be by making a poignant connection during a case or just sliding the perfect cup of coffee Spencer’s way without him having to ask for it. But now things were different. It had been happening bit by bit, too slowly for some of the others to notice but, after this last case, it was impossible for Spencer to ignore. You didn’t laugh anymore, or joke or flirt. You still made amazing points, still worked harder than anyone asked you to, but now it seemed like it weighed you down, like every new case chipped just a little bit more of you away. It hurt to watch.
“Y/N, you know it’s okay to struggle with this stuff, right?” Spencer eventually said. He wasn’t exactly the king of knowing what to say but he felt like he owed it to you to try. After all, when he was new he’d had Gideon to help him through it, “You don’t have to be alright right away.”
“You are,” you replied softly, meeting his eye briefly.
Spencer snorted and shook his head, “Me? The recovering drug addict? Yeah, I’m definitely the poster-child for healthy coping mechanisms.”
You chuckled and then looked up, horrified, “I didn’t mean to laugh at the whole addiction thing.”
“I know, Y/N/N,” he smiled, “but you’re allowed to. I was making a joke after all.”
“Really? I couldn’t tell,” you teased gently, leaning back in your seat.
Your shoulders were untensed now, Spencer noticed, and you were fiddling less and he breathed an inward sigh of relief. You were relaxing.
“Yeah, Morgan says I’ve gotta work on my delivery more,” Spencer said.
“Smart man, Morgan.” you countered.
Spencer smiled, “But seriously, Y/N, if you want to talk-” he lapsed into silence, holding your gaze as he let his offer hand in the air.
You watched Spencer for a moment, that piercing look in your eye that always made him feel unsteady, like you were seeing right through him. You weren’t profiling, he knew that, but you were definitely trying to figure him out. Eventually you sighed, seemingly resigning yourself to your fate, and nodded slowly.
“I just-” you started, “I didn’t know it would feel like this,” you blinked quickly, probably trying to stave off tears, “all the worry just-it just eats away at me and I can’t do anything about it.” You paused, sniffing, before taking a deep breath and continuing, “And it’s never enough, you know? We do everything we can but it’s just never enough and the cases keep coming and coming and all these people keep dying and dying and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We’re the best people for the job and we still spend 80% of our time playing catch up to these guys,” you shook your head again, “it just messes with my head.”
Spencer felt his heart pinch in his chest, affection rushing through him so fast that he didn’t know what to make of it.
He leaned forward, holding your gaze and said, “Of course it does, we spend most of our day trying to think like some of the most disturbed and dangerous people in the country. Honestly, I’d be more worried if you weren’t struggling with it.” Spencer assured you, “Our job is really really fucking hard, okay? It’s rewarding, but it takes its toll on all of us eventually. What’s important is to remember that you’re not doing this on your own, I’ve got your back-we’ve got your back, the whole team.” He hesitated for a moment, before leaning forward and covering your hand with his own, “We’re in this together, no matter what happens.”
For a long while you just looked at one another, something like gratitude glimmering in your eyes as you squeezed Spencer’s hand. His skin felt warm where it met yours and he softly let his thumb glance along the inside of your wrist.
You were beautiful, Spencer noticed, but not in the way he expected. Objectively speaking you were an attractive person, of course, he’d have to be blind to miss that, but there was something more. Just being pretty generally wasn’t enough to make Spencer’s heart race like it did around you, it wasn’t enough to make him want to reach out and touch, to make Spencer so desperate to spend time with you that he dragged you to a bar he loved on the off chance he’d get you to smile. Just being pretty wasn’t enough to explain why Spencer felt the way he did, it had always been more than that.
You nodded, quickly wiping your cheeks and giving Spencer a small smile as you gently detangled your hand from his. His heart sunk, just a little bit, at the loss of contact, but he made sure to keep his face neutral.
“How are you so good at this, doctor Reid?” you asked.
I’ve been practicing what I wanted to say for nearly two weeks now, Spencer thought.
He shrugged, “It’s just the truth, Y/N, that’s all.”
You nodded and lapsed into what seemed like a thoughtful silence.
“Hey, Reid?” You eventually asked, sounding almost nervous.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Why do you call me Y/N?”
Spencer frowned, suddenly confused, “That’s your name. Is there something wrong with how I say it?”
“No, no you say it perfectly,” you assured him, “it’s just, you don’t call anyone else in the team by their first name. Just me.”
He opened his mouth to say that that was ridiculous, but stopped just before the words left his mouth. You were right.
“Um,” Spencer started, a lick of anxiety flaring up in his stomach, “I don’t-I don’t know, really. Guess I never thought about it. You want another drink?” He took the opportunity to stand up and walk to the bar, returning your empty glasses and ordering two fresh drinks.
He needed a minute to figure out where his head was. He felt unsettled, like maybe something about the way you’d looked at him had struck a nerve. He knew how suspicious he’d sounded just then, like he was hiding something. He knew he had to have a better answer, otherwise you’d just come to your own conclusion and, judging by how good of a profiler you were, you’d probably come to the right one.
Fuck. When he’d invited you out for a drink Spencer had just wanted to make you smile, maybe take a little of the load off your shoulders. He’d never meant to make it so personal, such an obvious declaration of his feelings, but he had. It may have seemed small to call someone by their first name in your line of work, but you both knew different. It signaled intimacy, care, trust. It meant that he felt something for you, something different than what he felt for other members of the team. He had to be smart about this. There were rules against agents fraternizing with other agents, guidelines that had to be followed, boundaries that had to stay in place to preserve the team. Beyond that there was the fact that you were new, he didn’t know you well enough to say for sure how you felt about him, whether there was even a possibility of his feelings being reciprocated, and the fact that he didn’t even really know what his feelings were.
He admired you, he thought you were smart and resourceful, funny, sweet, tough as nails, he liked being around you. He liked you, but that didn’t have to mean anything. He’d liked tons of women in his time, some of them had liked him back, most hadn’t. But the name, the name meant something, it had to.
The bartender handed him the drinks and, reluctantly, Spencer made his way back to the table. You were watching him, somewhere between nervous and expectant, and Reid felt a familiar rush of fondness shoot through him. He collapsed onto the seat across from you, handing you the drink with a small smile.
“Whiskey sour,” he commented, trying to break the tension, “often considered a more masculine drink due to the presence of whiskey and egg-white.”
“Drinks shouldn’t be gendered,” you answered, taking a sip, “and by the way, if there’s egg-white it’s called a Boston sour.”
“Are you from Boston?” He asked.
You shook your head, “Nope.”
“Oh.”
The silence wasn’t uncomfortable exactly, just expectant. Spencer knew instinctively that, if he wanted, he could just avoid the topic completely. You wouldn’t push him. You would leave the bar together, say goodnight, and life would continue on like nothing had happened, but something about that felt inauthentic, like he’d be lying to you somehow, and he respected you too much for that. So he settled on part of the truth
“I call you by your first name because I care about you,” he eventually said, “I-uh-I feel….protective over you, I-” he cleared his throat, “you’re important to me. I didn’t-if it makes you uncomfortable I can call you Y/L/N.”
“No!” you said quickly, “No, I didn’t-it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, I like it. I just-” you looked away, worrying at your lip in a way that made it seem like you were nervous. You took a deep breath and stared down into your drink, “I was worried that it meant you didn’t respect me.”
Spencer’s eyes widened, “What? Y/N that’s ridiculous! You’re one of the best profilers I know.”
You rolled your eyes, “Maybe in other departments, but in the BAU?” You shook your head, “I’m practically an amature.”
“I’m sorry, did you not just solve a case and rescue three kids?” Spencer asked, “Was it someone else who made the connection between De Vos’ childhood arson charge and the kids home the victims were from? ‘Cause if I remember correctly, and I’m pretty sure I do, that was all you.”
You smiled a little, enjoying the praise, but still seemed unsure, “Well none of that would have been helpful if you hadn’t figured out where he was keeping the kids.”
“Yes, it would have,” Spencer promised, leaning forward and covering your hand again, “Y/N, you cracked that case wide open. Without you, those kids would probably be dead.”
“Without you those kids would be dead,” You corrected, nudging his leg under the table and giving him a shy smile.
Spencer felt his heart stutter in his chest and he leaned back, taking his hand off yours but leaving your knees touching under the table.
“Well that just means we’re a good team.” He said, returning your smile.
You laughed and, with that, the tension dissipated. You spent the rest of your time together sharing childhood stories and swapping jokes. You spent twenty minutes just listening to him explain common misconceptions about the story of Tristan and Isolde before he caught himself and, when he laughed and apologized, you just shrugged and smiled, saying that you loved seeing how happy he looked when he talked about it. Spencer nearly swooned at that.
By the end of the night you seemed more like your old self than you had in weeks. Spencer walked you out and waited with you on the street as you called a taxi. It felt different between you now, no awkwardness or strain, just the warm comfort of being with someone you care about. Of course, just under the surface, Spencer could feel the start of something. It was fragile, easy snuffed out if treated poorly, but it was there; potential, the potential for this to be more than a friendship, to be something real, something worth fighting for.
Your taxi arrived before Spencer could figure out how to feel about that. Before he could say anything, you’d pulled him into a warm embrace, leaving him enough time to pull away if he wanted as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he pulled you close, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You smelled wonderful.
“Thank you for today, Spencer,” you said quietly, so that only he could hear, “I-I really needed it.”
Spencer swore he felt his heart actually melt at the softness in your voice, but he pushed through it.
“Anytime, Y/N.”
You pulled away, smiling bigger than he’d seen in ages, and he couldn’t help but smile in return. You clambered into the taxi gracelessly, because you were looking back at him.
“You won’t be saying that when you’re stuck working those reports with me all of next week,” you teased.
Spencer smiled, stepping forward to close the taxi door behind you, “Wanna bet?”
“You’re on.” you agreed fondly.
He watched the car from his position on the sidewalk until it disappeared, trying to calm the frantic pounding of his heart.
“Spencer,” he muttered to himself happily, “she called me Spencer.”
And by god, he’d never liked the way his name sounded more.
375 notes · View notes
tanoraqui · 4 years
Text
tanoraqui
Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be
tanoraqui
Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit
Like IMAGINE
tanoraqui
In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.
tanoraqui
Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling
tanoraqui
...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world
tanoraqui
The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all
tanoraqui
They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast
There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time
...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point
tanoraqui
Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.
tanoraqui
Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...
Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet
Today at 8:42 AM
@professorsparklepants
I love this it's so goddamn wacky
tanoraqui
I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off
professorsparklepants
Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults
Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?
tanoraqui
Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”
professorsparklepants
"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."
tanoraqui
I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact
professorsparklepants
OH MY GOOOOOOD
tanoraqui
They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”
professorsparklepants
#1 wingman...
tanoraqui
Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom
professorsparklepants
His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"
I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down
tanoraqui
With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”
professorsparklepants
"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"
tanoraqui
^ actual real conversation with WenYuan
professorsparklepants
A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim
tanoraqui
Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers
professorsparklepants
Oh absolutely
professorsparklepants
He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out
tanoraqui
Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both
tanoraqui
But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time
professorsparklepants
He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute
LOL YES
tanoraqui
So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained
professorsparklepants
It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens
"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"
tanoraqui
“What sword?”
professorsparklepants
KDJAKSNJS
tanoraqui
“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”
tanoraqui
Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”
WY: what?
JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me
WY: ...yeah okay
AND THEN THEY DO THAT
professorsparklepants
The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS
tanoraqui
They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways
They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world
Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here
They’re going to DIE
professorsparklepants
JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA
JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably
"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."
tanoraqui
I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time
He’s still angry at WWX for leaving
professorsparklepants
Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"
Okay my shift is starting later
tanoraqui
/snort
Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”
professorsparklepants
Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going
tanoraqui
Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that
Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto
No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point
tanoraqui
Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down
Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other
professorsparklepants
LOLOLOL
That is.... so goddamn in character
tanoraqui
concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless
professorsparklepants
Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't
tanoraqui
a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful
professorsparklepants
Lol
tanoraqui
but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people
professorsparklepants
He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice
tanoraqui
JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."
NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.
professorsparklepants
Question: are they also friends with lwj...
tanoraqui
yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions
professorsparklepants
I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics
tanoraqui
but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition
professorsparklepants
I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in
tanoraqui
for sure
it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"
professorsparklepants
Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker
tanoraqui
she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something
professorsparklepants
:)
tanoraqui
omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing
tanoraqui
basically, this au is PEAK romcom
tanoraqui
...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die
professorsparklepants
!!!
Good... Good thoughts
Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!
tanoraqui
(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)
professorsparklepants
*nice*
tanoraqui
...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings
maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.
professorsparklepants
That happens sometimes
2K notes · View notes
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Apothecary Diaries - manga rec
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Summary
Before it had an English name I just called it Kusuriya no Hitorigoto. It's about mao mao who was forced by kidnappers to be a court maid. A plain freckled girl who is nonchalant about it but misses working as a doctor assistant for her father.When the high ranking court ladies babies come down with an illness that others deem a curse mao mao figures out the cause. Trying her best not to get stuck in court drama squabbles only leaving a note on the cause. However a eunuch named jinshi figures her out and is forced to solve palace mysteries while also working as poison tester. (it's fine she likes to test poisons on herself)😓 So basically Chinese historical story that deals with harem life that's also a detective and medical story. So their are modern conventions and solutions that we take for granted that are used as solutions in the story. That’s the draw of alot of time traveling stories but since its not we don’t get an outsiders perspective about what we would consider wrong. Maomao has resigned herself to whatever happens to her and dosen’t fight the system directly but she still has a strong sense of justice.
Maomao- the pharmacist
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Maomao is the protagonist /pov chara and is the main reason you read the story she's very eccentric when it comes to medicines and poisons but is actually very quick witted and emotionally intelligent. She's a realist and down to earth often thinking little of herself. Maomao has resigned herself to whatever happens to her. She knows she's smart and might be toooo smart. Her only motivation is medcine so political infighting and conspiracies is the opposite of that. Whenever her sense of justice shows up it really bursts and it's great to see💖😊 Even though she pettite skinny and a commoner whenever she decides to do something it really feels like she's risking her life.Also aro/ace representing she really dosent care about much except medicine.💞
Jinshi -Eunuch
He works as a foil to maomao becasue hes a born noble, the boss of her and is one of the most conniving characters. His personality starts off as a sadist/playful tease but eventually really cares for maomao in the story as he gets to know her better. Jinshi is the one who presents the issues to maomao and is the one withe the authority to give her tools to solve the cases.He's obviously hinting at maomao alot but she dosent get it or doesn't care.His job is to work in the harem and to do whatever the emperor requests if him. He's the most beautiful person in the story and alot of woman and men want him. He drinks this a medicine that make him more eunuch like to maintain that appearance. The reason why we don't know and his backstory is one of the big mysteries.
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Setting
It's not a specific year which is good Apparently mongels are still a problem and they can keep in contact with the west if they want. Historical Chinese dramas I guess 🤷‍♀️. Politically ppl dislike the last emperor and just over a decade before slavery was abolished. U can technically sell family members tho if ur poor. Maomao was sold as a palace maid and all her earnings go to her "family". In fact most of the maid charachters are the same way.So some cultural things need to be addressed if your new to court drama. Honestly it's a cliche for me cuz I watch alot of Asian dramas but others might not.
In the palace we have the outer court that does real work like paper work and women can join the outer court but they are akin to secretaries. I think they dislike inner court ladies cuz they had to take a test (Also technically maids but they don't do the best job compared to inner court ladies). The inner palace only has women and they are all concubines for the emperor. There have been cases of maids becoming lower ranked concubines if they were pretty. 4 great positions are taken by great noble ladies and their families. These 4 ladies each have their own palace and are the ones most likely to become empress/create heirs.
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Hanmachi/red light district is a big part of the story. Mao mao was raised there and is the 2nd location the story takes place. It's both a beautiful gorgeous palace and a dark dangerous alley. Maomao says that the brothels are both a cage and a Wall that protects them from the streets Maomao isn't a courtesan but was raised with her 3 big sisters the 3 princesses of Rokushoukan. All high courtesans need to learn to dance, play instruments, talk, play go or other board games and read. Men don't usually get to sleep with high courtesans and it dosent work on all girls but the more pure you are to get the higher the price.
BTW we never go to them but there are brothels that are lecherous, and there are cases of rape within that district and maomao has almost been in that situation which also hasn't been shown.
Adaptations/art
There are like 3 types of versions of the story for some reason. There are 2 mangas and the og light novel. The mangas not done but maybe the first one went in a different direction of the novel 🤔 idk??? I've read a little bit about the the light novel but honestly not that different. Mao mao is a very introspective charachter she has alot of thoughts and won't say alot of her thoughts or feelings due to fear of nobility or just laziness.
So the manga makes her alot more expressive while keeping her introspective thoughts. She can be very funny and comedic with her expressions. Later on when she gets stitches they keep reopening(she just roles with it and everyone gets freaked out for her)
The 2nd manga makes mao mao her personality more serious and aparently there's less emphasis on romance. Only 1 volume so can't judge on much. (Only read 2 chapters) so I'm gonna talk about the 1st manga.
(Light novel, Kusuriya no Hitorigoto manga and Mao Mao no Kōkyū Nazotoki Techō manga)
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The art is really good what happens alot in shoujo series set in harems or inner courts. Is that the women are not hot they can be beautiful, pretty even but they really aren't hot.
But damnnnnnn all the girls are 🔥🔥🔥
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Specifically the hanamachi ones and even maomao herself sometimes. Lol 😆 I'm gonna stop now
But seriously I like how they talk about sex, prostitution and harems. Alot of shoujo are so PG about a place that is notorious for sex work.
Last minute thoughts
Check it out there's 2 manga volumes out and more coming. (Or read the scanlations I did both)
I like jinshi when he gets jealous since he's so cool and in control alot seeing him flounder about with mao mao is fun ❤
Maomao has a pretty interesting past too and it's hinted at really early there's this guy she definitely dosent wanna meet in the outer palace (that's my hint for foreshadowing) 🤐
I would read the light novels if ur like dying to know the plot the manga is a monthly series (I won't cuz I'm lazy)
Previous emperor is a pedo current one is a dick. So yea royal family sucks what's new 🙄
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flowerrose14 · 3 years
Note
Oops wait Nevermind it's in your pinned. Lemme rephrase, what is your policy on oc relationships, shipping and so on? Interactions are welcome here which is nice but just asking more in depth. I know you don't like forced ships which is perfectly understandable
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👏👏👏!!! *Happy tapping noises* Okayokay gonna need to stop stimming so i can type this out!x'3 Right! First thank you so bloomin much for asking!!;///; And second to answer such a question! My policy thus far when it comes to both ocs relationships and shipping are
-No shipping with ocs that are currently in a relationship! ( Meaning no crackships either please!>:/ not biggest fan of em! Again especially if said character already got a lover .n. Anthony for example he already got a husband Unu)
-BUT that doesn't mean ocs that are married or dating are crossed out from any sort of friendships! (Trust me alot of em need therapy and could use a hug! qnq) Oc relationships such as friendships are very much welcomed to all ocs of mine! If you wanna form a wittle fwiendship between my babs and yours I'd highly encourage it>:3 I'd absolutely love to hear whatever you've got up sleeve!!>:D
-[This be for more of mutuals or fwiends, folks i've gotten use to!] If you wish to plot more detailed relationships, such things like shipping ocs or giving them someone who will make a HUGE impact on their story and life. I'd very much prefer to speak and plan this with you in dms! Go into detail on what could happen and how it'll effect things and Story. [Also would highly appreciate bein informed bout any changes or plans you're making for the character you've put into a relationship with mine!!x'3 cause I'd most likely get very attached to them and have a literal anxiety attack if you plan on shooting them without tellin me before hand<:DD I MEAN COUGH-👏 Y E A H PLEASE KEEP ME INFORMED!!]
-Drawing interactions, such as doodling your oc with mine is perfectly fine!!x'3 Just no forcy stuff>8< if it leaning too much towards a sudden romance outta the blue i'm gettin my broom, i wanna know before hand before you pull out a rose to my child PLEASE Unu also DEFINITELY NO NSFW-! I'll block you for that-[However more stuff like horror or bloody situations i'd say be alright DEPENDING on which character! Anthony AGAIN for example is a dumbass and gets constantly chased by police force and murders uwu👌 And loko existance is just horrifying so placing him next to a creepy as heck oc is very welcome:D
-Oc roleplays are fine BUT PLEASE!! Tell me and ask to plan it out before starting ANYTHING! Do not just write it out and suddenly tag me out of the blue or dm me a starter for a rp i had no clue about [Also 👈👈 wanna know you abit first before we do so!]
-Speaking of though Do Not Draw or Write my characters OUT of characters during interactions either please >:< [If you're unsure how a character would act in certain situations just ask qnq don't just write them without knowin anythin bout em and makin em do stuff they'd never dream of doing]
Hopefully this be enough detail of the current policy! I'm very open with ocs of mine getting to meet or know others, oc related asks or interactions are more then fine! But if you want to start getting more specific and in detailed. Start making things cannon that'll not only effect mine but your oc too I'd want to 1.Discuss this with you,have a conversation before putting anything into action to a point were we both be hap AND comfortable with it!uwu 2.Also know you more first!! 👈👈 [Alsox2 I know both me and alot of people have put this but pls for love of god don't be shy or a stranger now \;n;/ if you crave both chaos and fluff just as much as i do we'll get along, and may be already!uwu *happy tapping right at you fwiends/mutals* THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS CHAOTIC POST AND THANK YOOOU DEAREST ANON FOR SENDING SUCH AN ASK!! REVEAL SELF FOR SENTENCE OF HUGS-!! Which may be delayed DUE TO THIS GODDAMN COLD>8/
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beomglocks · 4 years
Text
unlikely allies ; txt x reader
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part: two ,,,, next chapter / previous chapter
plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you’re forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.
genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments
w/c: 4.2K (was in a writing mood)
warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc
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"we're alive, you're alive, it's gonna be ok."
usually, when people say those words, everything ends up going completely wrong. the phrase gets jinked and turned over on its head making the situation worse. in your case, that didn't happen. if anything the situation got better somehow.
"after we met in the hall i headed to the gym to get the bat you suggested," beomgyu explains softly. you and him were seated on one of the benches in the locker room.
after what happened earlier with the zombie, you distanced yourself from yeonjun and taehyun who were currently exploring the locker room for other resources. luckily, none of the other zombies outside knew you all were in here so it was safe to say you were in the clear for now.
"actually if it wasn't for you, i'd probably be dead," he laughs looking down at his hands. you noticed there was a lot of blood on them but didn't bother to ask where it came from. after all, you all seemed to be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. "i could say the same," you chuckle. you honestly don't have to energy to talk but you figure a new face to converse with who isn't someone you despise is nice.
"no but really," he suddenly turns serious. "if it wasn't for you, i would've never gone to the gym in the first place. i probably would've been turned into one of those monsters while in the hallway, unsuspecting." you don't argue with him. if he thinks you saved his life then so be it. "i'm grateful seriously," he mentions softly. you look up at him bewildered, "you're grateful? if anything i'm the one who should be grateful," you laugh a genuine laugh this time hoping to lift the gloomy mood. "if it wasn't for you i would be the living dead right now," you smile bitterly.
you can feel him staring at you but you don't look at him. you don't want this conversation to turn into a battle of who saved who and thankfully he doesn't continue it.
"uh i-i think just last week we were working on a lab together," he scratches the back of his head nervously. you lean back on the bench, "oh yeah, i remember. wow it's crazy how things can change so drastically in a matter of days." you look around the locker room in thought, "i wonder what happened to everyone else, i mean how can something like this happen?" you continue.
he sighs, "i really don't know...like i said, i headed to the gym after we saw each other. everything seemed normal. i was in the batting room looking for a metal bat then i hear the locker room door burst open. i figured the baseball team was about to start practice so i walked out while trying to hide the bat under my shirt." he looks at you sheepishly as you laugh at his attempt at stealing. "well one of the members of the team was in the corner of the locker room just scratching his arm like crazy! i'm talking deep wounds with blood dri-" you cut him off, grimacing. "r-right well, i asked him what happened and all he told me was not to go out there. i was confused so i look into the gym and see people eating each other than coming back to life and doing the same to others."
he closes his eyes but winces as if remembering a bad memory, "it was crazy, i was so starstruck that i didn't even realize the guy from before had already turned. it's a good thing i heard him making those weird noises or else i would've turned too. unfortunately, i had to kill him using the bat." your eyes fall on the bruised and bloody bat by his side. it must've taken beomgyu a lot of hits to figure out where exactly to aim to kill. "how did that other one that attacked me get in?" you ask.
"well apparently the one that attacked me wasn't the only one to come in earlier. he must've been hiding or something," beomgyu sighs, looking at you again. "look y/n, im really glad yo-"
"we didn't find anything useful other than the bats and some paddings," yeonjun strolls into the main locker room with taehyun looking dejected behind him. you glance at them then look back at the ground. you're not sure why you're angry at them, it's not like they could've done anything at the moment. suddenly the sad realization hits you: yeonjun is a self-centered asshole who doesn't care about anyone and taehyun barely knows you so why would he risk his life.
beomgyu mutters something silently to himself but you don't hear it. "so what are we gonna do now? we can't just stay here forever," yeonjun sits on the bench opposite of yours with his arms perched on his knees. you stay silent, not really wanting to talk anymore. beomgyu ruffles his hair, "let's see... we have bats and the baseball teams protective gear somewhere around here but I don't think going around killing all the zombies in that gym is a good idea. we will definitely not make it out alive."
taehyun sighs angrily, "damn it, we can't just stay here. we're bound to get hungry or worse; wanna use the bathroom. we need to find a way out to find more people. i still believe we're better in numbers." he notices you haven't pitched any ideas yet so he looks at you expectingly.
when you don't answer, yeonjun groans, "cmon y/n how long are you gonna keep acting like this?" you look up and see he's looking at you with a bored expression. "look sorry we couldn't help or whatever but honestly what did you expect us to do? no offense but you're acting like a child." you don't wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he said got to you so you bite your lip and glance at the ground.
"yeonjun when you put 'no offense' in front of an offensive statement it doesn't make it any less offensive,” beomgyu rolls his eyes. "plus, they almost died. do you really not have any empathy oh wait i forgot you're a selfish jackass who probably wouldn't think twice about throwing us to the wolves." in all the time you've known choi beomgyu, which is a couple of months roughly, you don't think he's ever stood up for himself or others for that matter.
"beomgyu," you warn silently. you guys already have enough problems as it is, you don't need a fight breaking out. "oh look who's getting bold," yeonjun chides. "you save one person and suddenly you're the hero of the story," he rolls his eyes. "news flash, y/n doesn't like you."
beomgyu's eyes widen and you see his ears turn red. "shut up yeonjun," he says through gritted teeth. "oh yeah y/n by the way beomgyu has an embarrassingly massive cru-" before yeonjun can finish his sentence he's on the floor with beomgyu on top of him.
"guys!" taehyun shouts. he wanted to break up the fight before the zombies outside were alerted. none of the boys on the floor were listening though and you had a huge wave of deja vu hit you.
unfortunately, this wasn't like the last fight you witnessed because yeonjun was far stronger than his opponent this time. although beomgyu had the advantage of throwing the first punch, yeonjun had the advantage of actually being able to fight. "y/n doesn't like you! they'll never like you no matter what you do!" yeonjun shouts in between punches. "fuck you!" beomgyu retorts, trying to shield himself. you see taehyun conflicted on whether or not he should break up the fight since his wrist is still damaged.
"guys stop!" at this point, both boys are in a blind rage. both shouting at each other and throwing wild punches. you all hadn't heard the banging on the locker room door. until it was too much to handle. the lock was busted open in a flash causing all of you to whip your heads towards the door.
the force of all the zombie's dog piling on the door after hearing the commotion of the living on the other side must've been too much for the door to handle. "run run RUN!" taehyun grabs you and bolts towards the second doors of the locker room leading towards the girl's side. you didn't even have time to look back and see if yeonjun and beomgyu had time to get off the floor and run because before you know it you're in the hallway again.
"we have to get to the first room we see," taehyun pants. you both run past all the strangler zombies in the hallway and you're glad taehyun takes the brunt of the force. since he's the one that picked up some of the equipment his arms are paddled so it's fairly easy to take some force from the zombies jumping at a chance to bite him. you run close behind him grasping his hand tighter than you'd ever held anything.
you suddenly remember all the times you'd scream at a character in a horror movie when they trip and fall. sympathy rushes through you because it definitely wasn't easy.
"in here!" taehyun rushes towards the nearest room and barges through it. it took a bit of force since there seemed to be stuff blocking it from the inside but you both managed to get through it before the horde caught you. as soon as you get in the room you heave for air, you'd seriously never run that fast in your life. you turn around towards the now-closed door and to your dismay, beomgyu and yeonjun are not there.
"damn it we got split up," you mumble through deep breaths. you sincerely hope they're both ok. you turn back around but before you could get a chance to discuss with taehyun you see he has his hands up in surrender. "wha-" that's when you hear a gun click.
your eyes widen when you see soobin appear from the shadows of the room with a gun in his hands. that's when you realize where you are, the principal's office.
"soobin!" you're confused as to why he has a gun pointed towards you guys but you're glad he's alive. "get any closer and you'll end up like the principal," soobin spits. you finally look towards the floor where the principal's desk is located and see what looks like a body but it's unmoving.
"oh my god," you mumble. "dude what the hell," taehyun steps forward and soobin turns the gun towards him. "get away from me! i don't know if you're infected or not!" you're very worried because soobin looks like he's not mentally capable of wielding a gun at this moment.
you finally survey him and the room. his hair is an absolute mess and he has more blood on his face and body then you remember. his clothes look pretty normal except for the scratches and blood on them. they didn't seem to go that deep just enough to rip his clothes. the room on the other hand was a total mess. the bookshelf was on the floor and the chair in front of the principal's desk was flipped over, there were books all over the floor and the couch that was used for lounging was turned upside down. that's probably what was blocking the door.
"soobin," you warn. he points the gun at you. "we're not infected." you hope you sound calm. you don't want to give him a reason to think you're a zombie. "there's no way," he mumbles. "everyone's dead! there's no way you guys made it out alive."
"it's true!" taehyun encourages. "yeonjun, beomgyu, y/n and i are alive from what we know." soobin eyes you both, "where are they then?" you sigh dejectedly, "we got split up."
"look, we promise we're not infected! we haven't gotten bit or scratched or anything, please put the gun down," you step closer to him and when he doesn't wave it at you you grab it from him and throw it on the floor.
soobin steps back towards the wall and sinks down to the floor holding his head in his hands. "damn it! i hate this!" he mumbles. "what the hell happened in here?" taehyun asks. he walks towards the principal's body and cringes.
soobin sighs, "he was already one of those monsters when i got here, it was a struggle trying not to get eaten but i found a gun hidden under the desk. i guess it's a gun meant for self defense so that's what i used it for." you look down, processing his words. he was in here alone with a zombie. you're amazed at his ability to stay alive in such a tight situation.
"do you have any wounds, we have a first aid kit," you motion towards the bag on taehyun's back. he gives you a grateful smile, "thanks." you take the bag from taehyun while he watches you closely. he feels weird but he can't explain it. he doesn't want to watch you patch soobin up but he doesn't say it out loud. he decides to busy himself with looking around mindlessly instead of thinking about that.
in the meantime, you kneel down to help soobin. he watches you take out everything from the first aid kit. "sorry," he bites his lip. you chuckle dryly. this is one of those times when soobin looks and acts soft. you've only interacted with him a couple of times before with the extracurricular activities and fundraisers your school held. you knew he could be nice when he wanted to, he just got into fights a lot.
seeing him up close made you realize why so many people in your school fawned over him. he had looks that could rival yeonjun's. the only thing differentiating them was that soobin was actually kind of nice. "it's fine, you were scared," you say softly. instead of responding he opts for watching you silently. he's seen you around school and during the fundraisers and whatnot but never thought much about it. were you always this cute? sure, you had remnants of blood on your face but it didn't seem to take away from your looks.
he shakes his head at the thought. he shouldn't be thinking that about you, he barely knows anything about you other than your name and that you were seemingly willing to go out your way to help people. you give him a confused face and he just looks down at the ground. you cant tell what he's thinking and don't really dwell on it. you wet the cotton ball in your hand with alcohol, "this might sting." he doesn't say anything seemingly lost in his thoughts.
"god, why are these boys so weird towards you," you think to yourself. you gently dab the cotton ball on the cut on his face and he flinches violently. his hand flies up to grab your wrist and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i told you it was gonna sting," you shake his hand from you and sit back waiting for him to regain himself. "sorry i didn't hear you. i wasn't ready for that," he groans, cracking his neck. "ok now."
after you finish patching soobin up, which including him flinching a lot and you telling him to calm down, you let him rest on the floor. taehyun has been seated on top of the principal's desk this whole time just spaced out, looking out of the window. you join him but wince when you see someone on the floor getting eaten. you turn back to him but he's still looking outside.
"i don't think calling for help is gonna work," he says emotionlessly. you sit on the desk beside him. "hey don't say that, there could be people alive out there." you sound like you're trying to reassure yourself more than him. "what if there's no one?" he turns to look at you. "this is so messed up y/n." you see the unshed tears hidden in his eyes and you wanna comfort him but also don't wanna make it awkward. you opt for taking his damaged hand in yours and rubbing it with care.
"i know the situation is really messed up and everything but so far we've managed to save like three people including ourselves. if we keep going maybe we'll be safe and find anyone out there that can help us," he watches you trace his bandaged wrist like you're in a trance. a sudden realization hits him out of nowhere: you're cute... and super caring. he bites his lip, changing the subject, "sorry for not doing anything, back then."
you look up at him and give him a tight lip smile, "it's fine. i guess i might've been expecting too much from you guys, i mean we didn't even have anything on us. beomgyu was the only one with a weapon." you're not mad anymore since he did manage to get you both to safety afterward. you sigh, letting go of his hand. you don't notice him visibly deflate. "i hope yeonjun and beomgyu are ok. i didn't get to see what happened after the door busted open."
taehyun lays back on the desk and covers his face with his arm, "i'm sure they're fine." you hear a groan from somewhere in the room and you flinch, instinctively shuffling closer to taehyun. he bites back a smile from under his arm. you look around and sigh when it's just soobin trying to stand up again. "what are you guys doing?" he goes to sit next to you but there isn't any more space on the desk since you're sitting and taehyun's laying down. he frowns and goes for the principal's seat instead.
"just looking outside, feeling hopeful...others hopeless," you smile at him, hoping to lift the mood. soobin hums, spinning around in the swivel chair, "i'm pretty hopeless." you frown and suddenly soobin feels guilty that he made you upset. "i mean i'm just saying that since i saw a bunch of innocent people in the hall get eaten alive, that's all. there might be some hope outside of the school."
there's a silence that falls upon you three and you're not sure what to say. thankfully soobin speaks up and he hopes it doesn't sound awkward when he says it, "how long have you two been...together?" this causes taehyun to sit up, "what do you mean by that?" soobin raises his hands in surrender. "i was just wondering when is it that you two met up."
"yeonjun and i found him in the nurse's office. that's when everything went to shit," you mumble. "yeonjun? that prick is still alive?" soobin scoffs. "hey, he may be an asshole but his plan got us out of that office," you chide. taehyun stares at you, "you're standing up for him when he called you childish and started that fight?" he says quietly.
"what's wrong with standing up for yeonjun? i know he's a dick but i think he might actually be helpful. he could've left us back at the nurse's office but he decided to stick around. that's commendable, i think," you don't even know why you're suddenly sticking up for him when he hasn't really given you a reason too. maybe it's because you feel bad that he's not actually here to defend himself.
"great another one," you hear soobin mumble under his breath. "another what?" you narrow your eyes at him. "another person that only exists to suck up to yeonjun. here i was thinking i might actually like you," he chuckles flatly. "excuse me?" you can feel embarrassment and anger bubbling up in you.
soobin and taehyun look at you with wide eyes. "let me get one thing straight, i don't live to suck up to anyone, especially with the way things are. if you have a problem with me sticking up for people who aren't here to defend themselves then i'll leave. i don't care if you like me or not," with that you walk up to the door. the hallways seem pretty clear so you go to open the door.
"y/n," taehyun whisper shouts at you. "don't go out there alone, i'll go with you." he frantically moves to pack up his bag once again. you see soobin move to stand up and walk over to you too but you remember what he said. "i don't want anyone of you around me, i'll find other people on my own. wouldn't want you to think i'm sucking up to everyone who tries to help me."
"that wasn't what i meant, i just- fuck y/n- wait," he reaches out towards you but you close the door quickly. you start walking down the hallway, not really knowing where to go. "this was a very bad idea," you think to yourself. so far there's no zombies in the hall you're currently on but you can't shake the fear that's lingering behind you.
you figure taehyun and soobin didn't follow after you or just didn't get a chance to see where you went. you kind of hope they stay put at the principal's office for when you come back with more people. you're pulled from your thoughts quite literally when you're yanked into the janitor's closet.
you go to scream but a hand covers your mouth. you blink a couple of times for your eyes to adjust to the dimness of the tiny space. this is a tiny closet only meant for brooms and mops so your body is very pressed up against whoever is in here with you.
you look up and see yeonjun smiling down at you. he has blood all over his face from the fight that kind of looks like he tried to wipe it off but failed. "oh my god yeonjun," you whisper. you're not sure why your being quiet but you don't want any potential zombies passing by to hear you two.
"hey y/n," he whispers. "how the hell are you alive?" you ask him. "well considering the fact that taehyun is a baseball player which makes him a fast runner, beomgyu and i couldn't keep up so we went into hiding in the girls locker room since it was dark. the zombies followed you guys so once we heard no more commotion we left. beomgyu didn't wanna hang around me so he went around tryna find you." yeonjun rolls his eyes at this.
"you should've stuck with him asshole. im worried about his wellbeing," you bite your lip in worry. you really don't want anything to happen to anyone you've met so far. yeonjun keeps looking down at you, "y/n."
you look back up at him and see his face riddled with worry, "am i really that unbearable, that people would rather die than be around me?" you shake your head viciously. "what? don't say that! i mean sure you're a dick but anyone can change."
you both don't break eye contact for a moment and it kind of starts to feel stuffy in the closet. yeonjun suddenly speaks up, "do you like beomgyu?" your eyes widen and you start to feel heat rise up your neck and cheeks. "n-no, well i don't know...yet. i-i really don't know. i guess he and i are friends and maybe if we talked mor-" in that moment of you stuttering over your words, yeonjun leans down, as best as he can in such a tight space, to place a gentle kiss on your lips.
your eyes widen and you realize you aren't really doing anything so you decide to kiss back. you're so confused right now but decide to let the moment flow. he nibbles on your bottom lip and you let your mouth drop open for him to use his tongue. he somehow manages to push his body closer to yours and wraps his arms around your waist. the kiss isn't rough or needy and is nice but it feels wrong and weird, especially given the circumstances.
you pull away and lick your lips. yeonjun tries to chase your lips but you push him back gently. "why are you kissing me," you ask him shyly. "do you even like me?" this is the part where he hurts you. you wouldn't say you had strong feelings for yeonjun but you did think he was good looking. even though he was mostly mean to everyone you hoped he would change and be a good link to the tiny group you all formed.
"i think so, i don't really know yet to be honest," he answers you. you nod and sigh, satisfied with his answer towards you for now. "sorry for what i said earlier. you weren't being childish, i'm sorry i couldn't help you back then, and im sorry for starting that fight."
you reassure him that its fine but you still feel a weird pit in your stomach worrying about beomgyu. you hope he's ok.
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hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)
i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,
well start with rogue one!!
shit that made me giggle
"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."
everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.
i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.
so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.
i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 
stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense
why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.
saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.
that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.
video game cut scene style general tarkin
bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day
how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.
why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.
since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.
when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??
my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.
can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.
absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.
DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!
why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??
final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.
just cool shit,,, you know the vibe
DEATH TROOPERS
krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.
i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.
it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".
there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.
i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)
when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.
chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it
"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.
seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.
K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.
"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"
jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment “i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,
i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.
i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.
i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)
the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.
it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?
cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.
"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do
i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.
i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.
ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS
okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.
i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.
i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.
THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.
fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.
i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.
i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.
hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.
chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.
terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀`)
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH
krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,
any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit
the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT
jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??
in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.
i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.
no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.
i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.
fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.
if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))
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captlok · 3 years
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Pacifism Isn’t A Character Trait
Or: MLK Day is Upon Us so Let Me Do You a Learn
Or: As An Aang Stan I Got a Bit Over-Zealous But Lemme Explain Why For A Hot Minute
Plus some History and Tumblr commentary that even non-ATLA fans can chew on
And by ‘hot minute’ I do mean this is going to be a long meta, so strap in.  For those of you who just might be tuning into this debacle, I, a person who has not used Tumblr, much at all, except for the last half year, ran into some trouble. 
If you wanna skip the whole TLDNR interpersonal stuffs and get straight to Why Aang is the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, I will embolden the relevant parts, and italicize the crit of Korra, if you want that alongside.
I was excited that ATLA was seeing a resurgence due to the Netflix remake. I wasn’t even trying to apply any steep expectations for it. (learned not to do that the hard way with the last live action adaption, and to a much lesser extent, ATLOK, since it had good . . . elements, *ba dum tsshh*) 
So, these are a couple aspects of the issue: (1) Even on the internet, I am extremely introverted and until recently mostly came for content, not socializing. My main online interactions thus far have been in forums and artist-to-artist on DA. Tumblr is still very strange to me because it splits up its ‘threads’ so you can’t see all the replies if a certain pattern of users responds in their own space. I’m not even 100% sure it’s in chronological order, and replies are not nested next to each other so you can look in the comments and someone will be replying to something you can’t see in that window. And also since it is a bizarre hybrid of a blogging system, posts are somehow considered ‘owned by’ or an ‘extension of’ OP in a way forum threads are not. (2) ATLOK was good in a cinematic and musical way, to be sure. It also had some good concepts. I can go into it just appreciating it for the worldbuilding and be somewhat satisfied. But the execution was terrible. I was on AvatarSpirit.Net for years, and If I had maintained my presence on ASN to current day and had gotten around to downloading their archive now that the forum is dead, I would include some links to other peoples’ detailed analyses on just how flawed both the plotting and Korra’s frustratingly flat learning curve was especially in the first two seasons. But, that is a task for another day, and only if people are interested. 
No, what I’m addressing today, on the issue of Korra as a writing exercise, is how Mike and Bryan said specifically they wanted to make her ‘as opposite to Aang as possible’ and in so doing, muddied the central theme of the original ATLA series.
Now, again, I was mainly an art consumer for my first major round of ATLA fandom. Tumblr is an alien beast to me. But, after I write my first major Aang meta, talking about how amazing it is that he has the attitude he does, and how being content in the face of this overwhelming pain and suffering is an ONGOING PROCESS and an INTENTIONAL DECISION and not a simple PERSONALITY TRAIT, I start hearing that Aang gets a lot of hate from the fandom. Now this would be bad enough if it were merely people not liking his crowning moment of pacifism because they don’t understand the potential utility (I’ll elaborate on that in another post) or the ethics involved.
Aang is easily the most adult member of the Gaang. But he apparently gets hate for his few moments where he actually acts his age, a preteen, and maybe kisses a girl in a historical timeframe in which ‘consent’ discussions were probably nonexistent. Even in the present day, we are still practically drowned in movies that reinforce this kissing without asking trope. And even some female bodied people complain that asking kills the mood! But somehow he is responsible and reprehensible for this, even though the first time she kissed him back. I’m only going to get into the pacifism discussion today, but that was just another layer of annoyance bouncing around in the back of my head.  Other peoples’ crit of Korra that was stewing in my subconscious, plus this Aang bashing, which thankfully I had not directly read much of, made up the backdrop of gasoline for the match that set it off.  Even that seems a pretty melodramatic way to phrase what I actually said, which was: Aang, on the other hand, lost dozens of father figures and was being steamrolled by Ozai who was gloating about genocide TO HIS FACE, yet he still reigned in all that quote, ‘unbelievable rage and pain’ (The Southern Raiders). We Stan Aang, the Superior Avatar. No I did not f**king stutter. #AangSupremacy In another meta, someone complained that I was too defensive of Aang as a character and didn’t apply literary analysis enough, which I quickly rectified.
What set this off? Someone was kind of indirectly praising the line from Korra,  “When I get out of here, none of you will survive” To them it was emotionally resonant or whatever, and I have to point out that no, it was a martial artist not having control of their state of mind, as is the bedrock of the practice. It was never addressed by the narrative, which is a severe oversight.  I had a conversation with someone in the chats, making this distinction between Korra’s character traits and life philosophy. If she were to kill people while enraged and she was fine with that, that’s one thing. But if she regretted it, that’s a whole other kettle of fish. People argue that she comes from a warrior culture, unlike Aang.
Never mind that warrior monks are a thing. That’s what Shaolin monks are. You can be a pacifist and skilled at fighting. Those things are not mutually exclusive, which is the whole point of Bagua, Aang’s style.  And also, Katara’s style. 
That’s one reason I like Kataang so much- their congruent styles. Both of their real world martial arts are dedicated to pacifism, even though ATLA specifically doesn’t spell that out for Katara and her learning arc. 
There was a meta where someone briefly tried to argue that knowing “martial arts” is against pacifism. No. Quite the opposite. I’d argue that you are not a true pacifist unless you know exactly how to handle yourself if someone attacks you.  If you are not in a position to make conscious decisions about how much force to use, rather than merely operating on survival instincts, that is not pacifism. Or at least, not any energy or effort towards pacifism as a practical everyday tool.  I’ve made a few attempts to learn some tai chi and aikido, and it’s improved my physical and mental health, but some other things have gotten in the way. #lifegoals
I’m not going to tag the unfortunate soul whom I was replying to, because they’re probably tired of all this, but I’ll be sending them a PM to say that I’ve made this into a different post, because as I mentioned before, threads are somehow considered “owned” by OP, so it’s been pointed out to me that I should separate it.  I also said, I have basically ZERO respect for Korra uttering violent threats when the writers already minted a far more emotionally devastated and yet still resilient and centered character earlier in their franchise. People always try to excuse away people who genuinely like Aang more.  As if it’s just nostalgia or whatever. For me, no, it’s absolutely not. It is respect for a character who stands toe to toe with real people who are kind in the face of overwhelming injustice. (I have another meta on that). 
Both OP and people in the chats try to make excuses that she wasn’t raised as a pacifist, and that would be fine if they had addressed it with Tenzin and she had stated outright that she was rejecting pacifism and mind training. As it is, we are left with this nebulous affair where the lines between ideology and personality traits are blurred. 
We are told she “has trouble with spirituality” but what does that even mean? Does she have trouble with focus? Does she have trouble relating to the canonically real spirits? And pacifism specifically nor inner peace that it flows from is never even talked about as an extension of spirituality, which is canonically tied to airbending.
“Aang didn't have to deal once with the loss of his autonomy in atla” OP claims.
This was after I had noted that Aang was getting kicked around by Ozai and was most likely going to die.  Similarly, someone in the chat rejected the idea that a 12 year old trapped in a stone sphere that is heating up under a cyclone-sized blowtorch feels powerless. 
Sorry but that’s flat out ridiculous.
No one wants to admit that both of these people were faced with similar situations, and when push came to shove, one showed his LIFE PHILOSOPHY through conscious effort, and the other was abandoning the basis of martial arts, which is, no matter what the situation, keep thinking. Hold the panic at bay. Non-attachment would have served her well in this situation. Tenzin should have told her this. Before, or afterwards. It should have been addressed in the writing.  
People see this as “bashing” Korra, and oh well, can’t help that. If I think the writers didn’t follow through on their themes, that is my concern.  OP said I was “offended.” No, not really. 
I wasn’t offended by the post itself, or its commentary. Thought I made that pretty clear.
This is not dramatics. Let me be blunt.
As a ideological pacifist, and an actual practitioner of meditation, based on Buddhism, NOT just the fan of some show, I am for calling out writers who write one way from the survivor of genocide, and then stray from that ‘thoughtless aggression is immoral no matter HOW hurt I am’ to ‘let’s not address this character’s aggression in the narrative whatsoever.’ OP attempted to derail by accusing me of being racist or sexist against Korra. Also ridiculous. It honestly should have set me off more, but it didn’t. 
Meditation is about reigning in your emotions. Managing your anger when it gets out of hand, and digging down to the roots of it. Being responsible for your own behavoir. Acknowledging ownership of your own actions. Not blaming anything YOU DO on anyone else or any circumstances in your life. Like an adult, or should I say, an enlightened adult.
Or at the very least, that is the ideal ypu strive towards while being imperfect in the present.
. . .
Now.
I’m going to quote a passage in a Google Doc of mine, even though I’d really prefer if you asked to read the whole thing, with context.
“What do humans do when it is necessary to, or greed makes a nation want to recruit?
They go to the army to get trained, right?
Granted, having someone scream and get spittle on your face is, in the grand scheme of things, poor preparation for having bullets whiz past your chest and grenades shatter your ears. And, what do you do to prepare you for the pain of getting your leg blown off? Hopefully, nothing. Like taking a test where you only got half the study guide. But, it’s about the most ethical way to go about it, right?
Not everyone even sees action. So any more more extensive mental preparation for physical pain than that, and you’d have people definitely protesting.
Well, as it turns out, pacifistic protestors themselves, if they were in the right time and place, also very intentionally do this type of mind training. Except, when they did it, they actually did sit still and took turns roughly grabbing each other and throwing each other down and in some cases, even kicking and bruising each other.
Turns out, those pacifists are, in some ways, more hardcore than the army.
Why is this?
Because a pacifist’s aim, unlike a unit, who wants to gain the upper hand in a situation, is to grit their teeth and grind their way through all those survival instincts, and totally submit.
In this, they aim to get the sympathy of the public, who clearly sees they are not aggressive, or a danger, no matter how much the footage is manipulated or suppressed.
In this, they hope to appeal to their attacker’s better nature.
Make them stop and think, wait a second, are these people a threat like we’re told they are? I’m attacking someone who’s letting me beat them up. Or a bunch of people. All forming a line, and letting us peel them off. Or sitting, and bowing their heads. If I’m on the ‘right’ side of things, the law, why am I doing this?
It’s not like a bully, who’s just a kid.” They’re more self-aware.
And might I add the situation influences a pacifist’s actions too. There’s no reason to let a single or a few random attackers beat you up if you can evade or disable without permanent damage.
Pacifism is a dynamic set of responsive actions informed by values. Not a proscribed set or a checklist.
But in terms of organizing against state power, and recording wrongdoing, which unlike during the Civil Rights can happen from all angles from smart phones nowadays, these are the motivations.
“So, the pacifist knows this, and that’s why they go through all that trouble of training themselves to, not only submit, but not turn tail and run, either.”
See, a character trait is something like being a morning person, or ways of handing information, or a given set of emotions a character feels. Once you cross over into actions, you must make the distinction of whether an impulsive character agrees with their own uncontrolled actions, or is embarrassed or remorseful. Those are life philosophy. Now sure, one type of person or character may be more likely to subscribe to pacifism, but there is no gatekeeping on what you have to feel or how you look at things. You can be easygoing, or feel all the rage in the world, but as long as you at least attempt to have a handle on those desires and feelings to where they do not cross into actions, you are still doing the work of metacognition, which is what martial arts and its accompanying mind training are for.
It’s what we see Aang do.
He’s informed us, during the Southern Raiders, on how much rage and pain he feels.
Pain points, TRIGGERS, that were directly struck at when Ozai gloated over him.
He joins with all the past Avatars for several moments, and just like every other time he is in the Avatar State, he is enraged. He wants to exact revenge on the unrepentant grandson of a baby murderer.
We see it when he turns his head away, face still screwed up in anger.
For another example, I could cite my difficulties in being aware and reining in my tongue sometimes. I know the roots of these issues and I seek to let them go.
It’s just that process takes way longer than Guru Pathik would have us assume.
In fact, I would even say that Aang’s portrayal throughout the three seasons is not strictly a realistic representation of at least the sad side of grief. I addressed that a little when I talked about real life figures. But what it IS, is a metaphor that cuts very deep to the heart of pacifism. As I showed in that Doc . . . There is no limit of suffering a pacifist is willing to go through, internal or external, for the preservation of peace.
This was demonstrated during the Civil Rights, and with Gandhi and all his followers beforehand, inspiring them. The pacifists’ method of swaying hearts is probably the reason BLM exists in such numbers as it does today. Will the types of narratives that correspond with their full stories of the way they collectively planned and trained for and approached conflict make it into fantasy media? I’d say, probably not. For a host of reasons.
It could be hoped for, I guess.
But we DO have Aang.
As for myself, whether speaking sharply is an “action,” per se is up for debate- certainly it doesn’t seem to violate the non-aggression principle put forth by the vision of a “stateless society.”
For another example, let’s take my explanation at the beginning. I am examining how circumstances affected my actions, and now am attempting to fix it, if indeed it needs to be fixed. 
At least one person said that it not so much what I said, but how and when I said it. I don’t actually think I’ve said anything “wrong” per se. So I have to figure it out. 
[I’m considering splitting up this next part into a second post, as it only slightly relates to pacifism itself and is just kinda some more commentary on Tumblr itself- Tumblr discourse, as it were]
[I’ll put more brackets when I’m done in case you want to skip this part as well]
An interesting social difference between Tumblr and other places is this command you often get, “don’t chat/reblog/message me back.”
This is interesting for several reasons. For chats and reblogs, other people may be following the “conversation,” so it’s actually pretty rude and presumptuous to tell a person not to respond to whatever you said, because other people watching still may be interested in your take.
In a forum setting, if someone involved in a conversation doesn’t have anything left to say, usually they just don’t respond.
This method would work perfectly fine for Tumblr, but for some reason, maybe its super odd format, probably due to the “ownership”/“extension of self” I mentioned at the beginning of the essay, people don’t tend to do this.
Now, in comment sections, sometimes you’ll run across an amusing sort of “mutually assured destruction” where two people both say this to each other. You’d better stop responding. Omg just give up. Why are you still arguing. Etc.
But see, no matter where this behavoir pops up, and no matter who starts in on it, those who do this usually want to have the last say on the matter.
Instead of merely not replying, they want to assert verbal control over the conversation.
Tumblr, in its weirdness, is also sort of like a mutant comments section. You can post comment section threads as your own post.
Which is one reason why I’m puzzled when people say ‘don’t read the comment sections’ when Tumblr is so popular.
I’m an oddball in that I browse comment sections for fun.
Probably due to alexithymia, I didn’t really comprehend the emotional toll it takes on many people, so the warnings to “stay out of comment sections” read to me like “hey don’t eat that dessert.” After I’m done with the ‘meal’ of an article or art, I like to see what lots of different people have to say about it. The fluff. Anything vitriolic I either blip over, or extract anything useful, or if I judge the person is reasonable enough, I might engage.
Sometimes I mis-judge on how reasonable someone is, and I shrug and move on after being cussed out or whatever.
In this, I suppose I succeed much of the time in being a verbal pacifist.
[But let’s get back to the more serious stuff.]
We’re talking about what is done in life or death situations, here.
For myself, I may in the near future be working more with dangerously mentally ill people. I’ve had a little exposure to it through various means. Nurses are obligated not to retaliate against patients, and those who have, have been fired in some situations. Again oddly, this is not primarily what triggers my anxiety. Unfortunately enough, this requirement has also resulted in nurses getting seriously injured and violated. I hope to influence whether “no harm” techniques such as tai chi and aikido and arm locks may be allowed. The voluntary philosophy I was luckily already on board with is enforced by bureauacracy, directly relevant to my potential profession.
Were someone to get involved in a dangerous profession, such as a police officer, their moral duty would also be to own up to any spur of the moment anger or fear they acted on. 
It’s just that their bureaucracy acts differently, in excusing their actions.
Ideally, they would be taking steps far in advance, to avoid this often-cited fear of death reaction. As training pacifists like Aang do. 
And yes, army people are trained differently than police officers because the army, often, even when threatened, is supposed to avoid engagement or deploy deterrents that are non-lethal almost all costs, unless ordered otherwise. Whereas American police are given pretty much complete discretion and often not taught de-escalation techniques. Even police from other nations are better trained in that regard.
Enter the ironically named @avatarfandompolice whose account description should really speak for itself. Combative, dismissive, and their attention-hungry bread and butter is to find people they think it’s acceptable to ridicule.  They basically tried to say trauma was a valid excuse to take out your anger on other people, and in this situation, potentially kill. 
Now, does this hold up in the real world? Yeah, sometimes. Especially if some law breaker or law keeper has not been given the anger management tools, they perhaps could be excused, or better yet, rehabilitated.
But especially if anyone finds themselves in dangerous situations, or intends to put themselves in such, it falls to them to do this preparation.
As an aphant, I am at a bit of a disadvantage, compared to an average martial artist, being unable to visualize an attacker. But I still attempt it.
As the main “police officer” of the world- the coincidentally blue clad figurehead that is supposed to keep order, it is apparently fine for Korra to not do the work Aang did to keep level. To blow it off as too much trouble: clearing the First Chakra of fear. For herself or others. And its resultant anger. Had she had access to the Avatar State, the authority figure pretty much would have killed people.  This is what the “fandom police” and a certain chat goer ultimately support. Maybe they didn’t understand it that way, and since the second had blocked me, they will also never see this explanation. Unless I were to share it in Google Doc form I suppose.
So, I responded. “Remember kids, you are not responsible for your own behavior if you have the excuse that someone else did something bad to you.” A frighteningly common sentiment on this site.
When it’s low stakes like CAPSLOCKING or internet fights, that’s not such a big deal. But what happens if this attitude leaks into the real world? This isn’t even about Korra or Aang anymore, it’s about toxic mindsets. I didn’t know fans taking pro-Korra posts as anti-Aang was a common in the fandom. I’ll say again I’ve only just gotten really active on Tumblr like the past few months. This is about pacifism itself. MLK and his hardworking, training followers (yes some of them sixteen and POC and not super-powered like Korra) facing down firehoses and staging sit-ins long trained for would shake their heads at this defense of reactionism. 
Pacifism is not a Personality Trait.
It is deliberate actions and preparation taken over a period of time.
Then the “fandom police” tried more of this, and these two conversations ensued, the comments with another user resulting in the title and main thesis of this essay:
https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638777472806273024/avatarfandompolice-response-to-my-independent
https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638806142933467136/the-plight-was-not-what-i-was-getting-at-it-was
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