#i never felt like life made sense more than when i was obsessed w him... sigh

[oceansblvds]

closer ; coriolanus snow

pairing ; coriolanus snow x reader

words ; 3.4k

about ; you and coriolanus have never exactly gotten along, and all of that boils over at a party you're hosting. based off of this request.

warning(s) ; smut, fingering, p in v sex, not edited, mentions of choking someone out (lol)

authors note ; please feel free to request fics or headcanons or blurbs! i hope u enjoy :) kinda got carried away with this one.

Coriolanus was, for lack of a better word, obsessive. 

He was obsessive in the things that he did, the people he saw, the way he dressed, he was obsessive to the point that anyone who had even a glance as to what he was thinking would think that he was insane. It was no way to live, but the spiny, tingly feeling that rose up his spine when he felt the obsession for yet another thing growing was enough to keep him tethered in his ways. He’s a reserved, meticulous man who never let himself be seen as anything other than such, no one had ever seen him make one mistake, not since he was a young child. He was erratic, cold and calculated all at the same time. He didn’t like when things didn’t go his way, and he certainly didn’t like when he felt that someone was trying to best him. 

And that’s what you seemed to do, try to best him. All the time, you would walk into a room and all eyes would turn to you instead of him. You always had a way with your words, speaking to the hearts of people and reminding them that you were the Academy’s darling. It made him sick to his stomach, the knot twisting into a more convoluted mess within his gut until he wanted to throw up what little he had to eat that day. He had never felt this way about someone before, whatever it was, and he didn’t like it, not one bit. With you, he felt as if he had no control. With you, people didn’t fall under his spell. 

The party bustled all around, the lavish hall that it was situated in being filled with the noises of mentors and peers alike, all in celebration for the next Hunger Games. It was at your house, which pained Coriolanus, but made sense. You were always looking to help out, and it seemed to be the perfect opportunity for the Dean to ask if you and your family would host this gathering. You considered it done the moment it was asked of you, all you had to do was ask your parents for the money and for the time and you organized the whole thing. It was going perfectly. Many people came up to you, chiding about how wonderful the party was, how they hoped that they would get some of the appetizing leftovers from the snack table. You gave smiles, your laughter filling up the space that Coriolanus could hear, wanting nothing more than to smack you silly, to prove that you were not better than him. 

It was stupid, really, considering you had done nothing to prove that you were trying to humiliate him. It was all twisted in his mind. And he was determined to make things right, whatever that meant. 

He made his way to you, dressed in a pressed white dress shirt and black slacks, accenting his long legs, his usually curled hair pressed back only a bit in a styled fashion. He was handsome, there was no denying it. Your eyes met his blue ones, almost being enveloped in the sea of them as he made his way further. 

“Well then, if it isn’t the Academy’s darling,” Coriolanus said, his tone nothing but authoritative, as if he was trying to make you feel uncomfortable. You were used to his slight jabs, the way that he always seemed to want to push your buttons. You paid it no mind, not letting him have the satisfaction. “How much of daddy’s money did you have to spend to pull this off?” 

You rolled your eyes, pearled white teeth biting your tongue as you chose your words carefully. “Coriolanus, do tell me, is it your mission in life to be a thorn in my side?” A playful jab, something that you could easily spin out as being a tease if the wrong person was to hear. After all, you wouldn’t want your reputation to tank over one encounter. That was the thing about the Academy, always somewhere there was someone watching, listening. You were never alone. 

Thorns. They reminded him of his Grandma’am’s roses, how the things would get caught in your skin if you weren’t careful enough. There had been many times where he had cut himself on the barbs, the tip digging into the thin layer of his hand and drawing blood when he had gone to cut one for his outfit. He thought to himself how he wanted to be a thorn in your side, how he wanted to poke and prod at you until he drew blood, to see your perfect image falter under his touch. He chuckled at your words, the crease lines of his smile oh so evident as you looked at his stupid, perfect face. He leaned in, the smell of roses enveloping the two of you, his face almost disastrously close to your own. 

“Do you want me to be?” 

You scoffed. “Being crass now?” 

Of course, of course you dealt your hand in the same way that you always did. He would put himself out there, trying to get a rouse out of you, and you wouldn’t bite at the bait. You would simply leave him there, to play with himself, and it was so infuriating. For once, just once, he wished that he would see that perfectness in your stature falter. He wanted to see you ruined, whether or not he was the person to do it. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew that he had to be the one to ruin you. You were his, whether you knew it or not. 

You walked away from him, spinning on your perfect heels and making your way to a door, opening it and closing. It was the bathroom, one of many in your house but the one that was most accessible to the party. You needed a moment alone, to freshen up, to get Coriolanus out of your mind. This was your party, he wasn’t just going to ruin it like this by using all of his stupid words. Your hand went to your forehead, pushing some of the strands that had fallen from your perfectly styled hair back to their place, leaning in and scanning your face in the mirror for any other mistakes on your clear skin. Just as you were about to turn and make your way out, you watched as the door opened and closed just as quickly, Coriolanus standing there with his back to the door. You heard the familiar click of the lock, and the way that he looked at you made you shiver. He looked like he wanted to eat you alive. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” You asked him, moving to grab the handle but was quickly swatted away by his hand. You looked up at him, the height difference palpable, despite the heels you had on. He was so much bigger than you, he could easily overpower any move that you tried to make. “Let me through, Snow, this isn’t funny.” 

“No.” 

Your eyes squinted. “No?” 

“You know, for someone who spends hours in front of the mirror, you’re not fooling anyone,” Coriolanus said. He took a step forward, which didn’t really make such a difference in the long run. This was a big bathroom, if you really wanted you could've had a party in here with a sizable guest list. Still, you took a step backwards, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you. 

“What’s your problem, Coriolanus?” 

“You’re my problem,” He breathed out. “Always pretending to be so damn perfect.” 

You laughed. “Well, not everyone can embrace mediocrity as effortlessly as you do.” A low blow, something you knew would get under his skin and rile him up. And it seemed to do just that, because you could see his jaw clench, perfect facade that he had seemed to falter. You had caught him off guard, he hadn’t expected you to bite back with such a fiery attitude. But maybe you had just had enough of all his button pushing, of all his mindless teasing and hating on you for what seemed like no reason. You wanted to make him uncomfortable, make him know how much you loathed him. So you continued, “Jealous much? Can’t handle the fact that I outshine you without even trying?” 

Coriolanus was walking towards you before you even had a chance to move out of the way, his large body caging you in between himself and the marble counter. His hand went to your jaw, the contact of his fingertip on your skin making you heat up, a small fire burning in your chest. His grip was so hard that you were sure that it would leave a bruise. Your eyes widened, pupils blown out from the contact. You hadn’t expected for him to do this, you hated how much you liked it. How you wondered if he was this rough when he was doing other things. 

He didn’t say anything for a moment, seemingly liking the way that your doe eyes widened and looked at him, like you were a deer caught in the headlights. But his mouth opened, “You don’t know anything about me.” 

Which was, for the record, very true. You didn’t know anything about Coriolanus Snow because he seemed so keen on keeping things a secret. You didn’t know about his home life, the only thing you knew about him was what he was showing to you now, that he had a dark side that was starting to leak out of the cracks of his perfected persona. You gave a smile, a vile, venomous one that was meant to catch him off guard. “Yeah? So tell me, Coriolanus Snow, what don’t I know? Please, enlighten me.” 

He wished that you would just shut the fuck up. He wanted to put his hand around your throat and choke you until you lost consciousness, so that he could feel like he would be rid of all the sickening thoughts about you for just one moment. He thought about leaving right now, leaving while he still had some dignity left. But Coriolanus was not one to back down from a challenge, and he certainly wasn’t one to lose the upper hand. He was in control, he had to keep his control. There was no way in hell that he would let you think differently. 

The way he kissed you was bruising, like he was trying to make a mark on you forever. His teeth grazed against your lips, biting and nipping enough to almost draw blood. Coriolanus was all consuming, His one hand staying on your jaw while the other one came to wrap around your throat, disregarding his earlier thoughts and instead only squeezing a little bit, pulling you closer to him. His hips pushed into your own, you could feel his bulge through his trousers, a smirk fell on your face before he was quick to wipe it off by pushing you so much into the counter that you jumped on top of it, opening your legs and allowing him to slot in between them. 

Your hands came and wrapped in his hair, pulling on the locks of goldenness that you had only fantasized before in your dreams. They were soft, just like you imagined, and the way that you pulled on them had him groaning into your mouth, his lips leaving yours to kiss harshly against your jawline, down your neck, and onto the part of your collarbone that was exposed from your dress shirt. Teeth pressing against the soft skin that connected your jaw to your neck. You sighed out, hands moving down to his torso and surrendering into his touch as if saying do anything to me, anything you’d like.

And he did, because the second he heard that sigh come from your pretty pink lips he was determined to explore every part that he could of your body. He paid extra attention to your neck, sucking just under your chin, earning a soft moan on your part at the feeling. Your hips pressed against his and each of you breathed out, liking that feeling more than anything in the world. You hated how pliant you were in his hands, something you never thought would happen in a million years with Coriolanus Snow. And yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, instead pulling his head closer to your body and allowing for one of his hands to slip under your dress shirt, palm pressing against your left breast. He liked you like this, so perfectly obedient and compliant. He was going to enjoy ruining you. 

His hands pushed your pants down along with your panties, leaving you completely bare in front of him. You felt insecure, instinctually closing your legs away from him. He tutted, shaking his head and taking both of his hands to spread your legs open in front of him. He stood there looking at the curve of your hips and the apex of your thighs, eyes landing on your wet center. you looked down at him while he did nothing, only staring at you. You were completely vulnerable, insides screaming for him to just touch you. He seemed to want to take his time, from the way that his hand came and rested on the inside of your thigh while his eyes looked at your face gauging for a reaction. 

“What do you want, an instruction book?” You asked him, the brattiness and defiance in your tone that should’ve made him angry instead made him chuckle. His hand continued to reach further until his thumb pressed against your clit, making you groan at the feeling, your legs wrapping around his clothed waist. He was still completely clothed while you were completely pantsless. The bastard. He slid a singular finger into you, knowing that it would be enough to satisfy you for now, but it wasn’t enough. 

“Coriola-” 

A knock on the door made you both stop what you were doing. A voice was heard on the other end, it was your friend, wondering if you were okay since you had been in there for a while. “Y-yes! It’s fine,” You lied. “I’m just not feeling very well, I’ll be out soon!” You heard footsteps receding, and you turned your attention back to Coriolanus, who was looking down at you with a smirk. His finger was still buried in you, your pussy squeezing around his finger, wishing that he would move it. He seemed to understand what you wanted, his finger beginning to pump in and out, his thumb still pressed against your clit. The feeling was searing, something you weren’t even sure could just be described by words. 

His finger curled up in a come here motion and you almost screamed, biting your lip so that you wouldn’t give him the pleasure of knowing he had such an effect over you. He could see through your bullshit quite clearly, pushing another two fingers into you and not moving. Coriolanus had three fingers in you that he wasn’t moving, watching you squirm against his hand to create some kind of pleasure. but with his other hand he held your hips down, keeping you from moving at all. 

“I want to hear you beg for it.”

“For fucks sake, Coriolanus,” you said, eyes opening to look at him. 

His chest pressed against your own as he leaned in, “Beg. or I’ll leave you to finger fuck yourself.”

For a moment you thought that you weren’t going to do it, mostly because of your pride and ego. the pleasure that awaited you took over though and you opened your mouth to say, “please, Coriolanus. Fuck me with your fingers. Stretch me out. I need you.” your cheeks burned in embarrassment at your words, knowing that he would never let you live that down. 

“Good girl.”

He spared not a moment more, fingers setting at an unbelievably fast pace as they pumped in and out of you. His thumb massaged figure eights on your clit and you knew that you weren’t going to last long. Your head arched back, feeling him hit your g spot every single time his fingers fucked into you. Soon enough you were cumming, opening your eyes and seeing blurry vision. He kept pumping his fingers, mouth finding home on your neck to give you more marks, perfect petals like a perfect rose. You didn’t know how you were going to be able to hide all of them.

You took a minute to catch your breath and for that moment he wasn’t touching you at all made you miss his touch more than you were willing to admit. You heard the sound of pants unzipping and soon enough Coriolanus was in between your legs, this time his cock in his hands as he pumped lazily. He was big, you thought to yourself. Of course he was, considering all he had done with you so far, he was just preparing for you to be almost speared open by his cock. Incoherent words spilled from your lips, all different forms of begging for him to just push it in, and he finally gave you the satisfaction, the tip of his cock pressing into your entrance. Coriolanus pushed all the way in, inch by agonizingly slow inch, his own eyes falling shut at the feeling of your warmth around him. 

Once he bottomed out, he pulled out, pushing back in. You hissed at the feeling, not all the way used to the feeling of him stretching you out but loving it anyways. He buried himself into you like he owned you and you loved it. His hands came to your hips and thrusted in and out with such force that your whole body moved with every single rut into you. He shed no mercy, hitting that one spot every single time mercilessly. 

Your hands fumbled to touch him, anywhere you possibly could. Eventually you made your way to his back, fingernails digging into his skin enough to probably draw blood from underneath the white button up that he was wearing. You scratched up and down, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. Your breasts bounced up and down with every thrust from underneath your shirt, your mouth opened slack. The heat in the room was almost unbearable, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He grabbed your thigh and hoisted it up, moaning at the new angle that he hit within you. Your eyes teared up with the pleasure that coursed through you, once again about to hit that brink once again. You were already pretty sensitive from the previous orgasm. His name sounded so pornographic coming from you that he tried his best to remember how it sounded. It was unlike anything he had ever felt in his life. You looked so fucking good taking him like this. He felt as if he had everything he ever wanted in the palm of his hands. And he was making you feel good, better than anyone ever had before. 

This drove his pride, thrusting animal like into you to take you to that peak again. He wanted to make you cum again. And you did, after about three thrusts from him, each one pulling out all the way and pushing in with force. his hand slipped down to rub your clit in figure eights and you came with a yell of his name into his shoulder, biting down on the fabric to try and muffle some of it so that passersby wouldn’t hear what was going on inside the bathroom. Not even two thrusts after, he was cumming, a low groan eliciting from his lips while his body stalled slightly on top of you. Each of your skins were drenched with sweat that you two almost stuck to each other. He pulled your face to meet his own and gave you a quick peck, and continued this all the way down your neck then stopping to bury his face into the crook of your neck, composing himself. 

He didn’t pull out, not right away, thinking that he had gotten all that he wanted. 

And there was no way that he could let you go now. 

taglist ;

@obaewankenobis ; @slyhersophia ; @narcissistic-siren ; lmk if you want to be added.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #tbosas #the hunger games #tom blyth

[moonpetrichors-blog]

hiii! i love ur avatar writing and i was wondering if u could write something about neteyam x reader, where they're childhood best friends but then some na'vi guy start to show interest in the reader and neteyam gets all jealous and realize than maybe he's in love with them? idk if this make sense, english is not my first language, sorry :((

All Mine

Tags: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader, Aonung x Omaticaya!Reader (Only Slight), Fem!Reader, Childhood Friend Romance, Friends To Lovers, Jealousy, Anguished Declarations Of Love, Neteyam Loses His Cool For Once

Warnings: Neteyam Daydreaming About Punching Aonung LMAO

Neteyam was walking along the beach with his siblings when he spotted you, talking to the Olo'eyktan’s son. It had never crossed his mind before that you, his childhood best friend, would eventually find someone to romantically pursue. Was it wrong to realize he wanted you to himself, and not in the arms of another boy?

OMG IM SO OBSESSED W THIS IDEA!!! If theres one trope I love, its a jealous love interest 🤭 also, trust me when I say ur English is perfect!! Fun fact but English is also my second language and growing up I was ass at speaking it LMFAO so ur not alone 😭☠️

Yellow Hyacinth - Jealousy

* ˚ ✦ 1663 Words • Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [02/01/23] ❞  

It had been roughly a week since you arrived on the Awa'atlu village's shoreline. When you initially arrived, the Olo'eyktan's son harassed you relentlessly.

There were many things he liked to call you. Freak, weirdo, dimwit, you name it.

There was nothing freak-like about you, per se, but the fact that you were from the forest made you a target to Aonung's bullying. What skills could a woodland girl teach sea people? It was dreadful that you had to hide among them in the first place.

Technically, you had no obligation to go into hiding with the Metkayina clan, but you felt as if the Omaticaya had nothing left for you when your childhood best friend, Neteyam, informed you that he and his family needed to flee.

When Neteyam initially told you that he had to abandon your clan, including you, you wailed into his arms as if he had just perished. You couldn't bear the thought of not being with Neteyam, even if it meant compromising your clan's safety.

The truth is, you overreacted so harshly because you’ve had feelings for Neteyam for years now. You’ve always been unsure if he reciprocated, but there were moments between the both of you where he’d send mixed signals; you didn’t know what shifted or when, but there was just something between you both that felt like you were more than just friends.

And now he wouldn’t be able to stay and see how your relationship would unfurl.

Maybe you were foolish to persuade Jake Sully into bringing you along, but he eventually agreed (albeit reluctantly), since you and his son made each other happy. Neteyam was pleased when you told him you were departing with him.

So there you were, well acquainted with the Metkayina, and accompanied by your dearest friend. Aside from Aonung's pestering, you could put up with it since you knew Neteyam would safeguard you.

However, the more time that you spent with the sea people, the more you began to suspect that it was only you who had detected something between you and Neteyam. You stopped sending hints, even if he overlooked them unintentionally, as it stung too much to persevere.

Aonung eventually stopped attempting to harass you, and you even developed a pleasant friendship with him. Tonowari, his father, had him apologize for his poor behavior; after that, he was actually fairly delightful to converse with.

This was your life now.

...

Neteyam sauntered along the coast, followed by Kiri and Lo'ak. He couldn't take his mind off you; were you safe? Was Aonung bothering you yet again? His father had chided him that he didn't need to be at your side all hours of the day, but he didn't quite understand why his father was amused when he talked about how Neteyam behaved with you. You were his best friend, of course he’s worried!

Regardless, Jake instructed him to keep an eye on his siblings, so he didn't have much of a choice in abandoning them and running to your rescue. Not with Lo'ak prowling behind him in search of trouble.

Neteyam maintained his walk, thinking to himself that he was exceedingly fortunate that you had left the clan for him, and although he wouldn't say it, he was overjoyed.

What he wasn't so thrilled with was how he'd discovered you'd grown closer to that jackass Aonung. You could talk to anybody you pleased, and he knew you were far too pure-hearted to entirely dismiss the Olo'eyktan's son, but why did he feel so bitter whenever he saw you together?

Speak of the devil.

Kiri pointed you out, but when she saw who you were with, she shuddered. “Look, it’s Y/N! And... Aonung.” She deadpanned.

Neteyam was paying little heed to what his sister was saying. No, he was paying close attention to how you were giggling at whatever Aonung said.

What the fuck?

Lo’ak nudged his shoulder. “Bro?”

Lo'ak waved his hand in front of Neteyam's face, which he instantly swept aside. What exactly did Aonung say to make you laugh that hard? You only laugh when you're with him!

Neteyam was practically seething, his fists clenched into balls, as Kiri and Lo'ak snickered to each other out of his earshot. If Kiri didn't know any better, she'd suppose Neteyam was thinking about the finest ways to strangle a (what might as well be) merman.

And truly, he was.

Lo’ak held his fist to his mouth to stifle his laughs. “Dude, are you jealous?”

Kiri placed a hand on Lo’ak’s shoulder, and looked away with a smile plastered to her face. “He totally is.”

Neteyam’s rage was now being directed towards his siblings. “What? No I’m not! Why would I be jealous?”

Lo’ak was still chortling when he pointed behind Neteyam, motioning that he should probably look. He turned around indignantly, and saw that Aonung had a hand on your arm. He was close. Too close for his liking.

And that look. Anyone could see that Aonung was flirting with you. He was maintaining direct eye contact with you, narrowing his gaze. He appeared to be listening carefully to what you were saying, but his smirk paired with his eyes passing over your lips indicated otherwise.

Neteyam just wanted to pummel his stupid, blue face in.

Kiri and Lo'ak burst out laughing as they witnessed Neteyam storm over to where the two of you were. He aggressively inserted his own hand where Aonung's own had originally been, shoving your body into his own by the shoulder. The unexpected intrusion caught you off guard.

“Oh! Neteyam!”

You beamed at his arrival right away, but Aonung frowned. Before you could enquire what Neteyam was doing, he stared daggers into Aonung's head, and hauled you away from him by your bicep. Aonung remained there stunned, staring at your back as you walked away.

“What the hell?”

Kiri and Lo'ak tripped over themselves on their way over to Aonung, howling with laughter, and Lo'ak smacked his shoulder in amusement.

“Sorry cuz, you never stood a chance!”

Aonung’s cheeks darkened deeply. He was thoroughly mortified; he had no idea you were and Neteyam were like that! (You’re not.)

...

Neteyam began to lose confidence throughout the walk once he had pulled you much further away. While you shouted at him to let you go, he inwardly cursed at himself, wondering why he had just done that.

Does he like you?

Your vehement protests about how Neteyam was causing you pain eventually ceased falling on deaf ears. His rage vanished when he realized he'd been treating you like a ragdoll for the entire walk, and he immediately felt horrible. He let go of your arm and buried his face in his hands, ashamed that he had done such a thing to you in the first place.

You rubbed your sore arm, and nudged his shoulder gently. “What’s wrong?”

He looked way too upset, and you rarely saw him like this, if ever.

“Why was Aonung looking at you like that?”

That struck you with irritation. “Are you serious? That’s what this is about?”

His eyes darkened at your words. How could it not be?

You started to raise your voice. “You cannot be for real. You’re just my friend, why are you being so overprotective? If Aonung likes me, that’s my business! Not yours!”

Neteyam snatched your wrist again, evidently upset by what you just uttered. He didn’t know what he was saying anymore. “The only person that can look at you like that is me!”

You went quiet for a time, then realization dawned on your features. “Hold up... do you like me?”

Suddenly, Neteyam’s gaze softened, and he could no longer be furious with you. “How could I not?”

He released your wrist, unsure of what to say next. When he noticed your prolonged silence, Neteyam whirled around, prepared to walk back to his home and cry his frustrations out. He was fighting back tears already; what was the point of telling you this anyway?

You gripped his shoulder and forced him to swivel around and face you. Neteyam could not cover his face, and he felt humiliated because he didn't know why he was acting in this manner. Why was he weeping over a silly look?

He was caught by surprise when you cupped his face in your hands, and wiped the stray tears away. Your irritation had completely dissipated. “You have nothing to be worried about.”

He sniffled. “Why?”

“Because I’ve liked you since forever, but I didn’t think you liked me back. There were so many mixed signals, and you never picked up on my hints, either!”

Neteyam was taken aback. He was at a loss for words.

You rolled your eyes. “Just kiss me, you big idiot.”

Your hand that was on his shoulder was now suddenly imprisoned in his grip, and he jerked you towards his body, lips crashing into yours. He pressed against you with ardor, as if you'd vanish if he didn't embrace you like you were the last Na'vi on Pandora.

Your nimble fingers found purchase in his braids. His hands slithered around your waist, drawing you flush against him, effectively deepening the kiss. He needed you so near that he could only sense your lips against his. When you would try and pull away, his desperate kisses would follow.

You feared Neteyam had forgotten you needed to breathe, because you had to roughly pull his head back by his braids to eventually get him to halt his feverish actions. The minimal bit of pigment on your lips had now smeared, a mark left by Neteyam that claimed you as his. Who the hell taught him to kiss like that?

As you both merely stared at each other, stunned, Neteyam spoke through labored breaths. “All mine?”

“I’m all yours.”

Bonus!

Lo'ak sipped his fruity iced drink, having witnessed the entire exchange from a distance. He patted Aonung's back.

“You wish that was you, huh?”

Aonung punched him.

#↳˳💿;; ❝ inbox ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: #↳˳🖤;; ❝ oneshot ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: #avatar #avatar 2 #oneshot #oneshot avatar #oneshot avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 the way of water #metkayina #metkayina clan #omaticaya #omaticaya reader #female reader #neteyam #neteyam x reader #avatar neteyam #avatar neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam sully x you #Aonung #aonung x you #aonung x reader #childhood friend romance #friends to lovers #jealousy #anguished declarations of love #angry neteyam

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex would you be down to write a dom ethan and sub reader type dynamic smut? This isn’t a request just wondering if it’s something you’re into 😻

Anon of course this is something I am into. First time writing more dominant Ethan! I hope you like it Anon, I haven't posted a fic in over a fucking month! Everything has been so hetic and nuts, I've been working on this behind the scenes and I am hoping this gets me back into the swing of things! Let's go!

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Now Or Never.

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Rating. Explicit. Length. 2.5K. Ethan Landry X FEM! AFAB! Reader. Warnings: DUB CON! Stalking. Creepy And Delusional Behaviour From Ethan. Obsessive Ethan. Man Handling. Degradation. Vaginal Fingering. Vaginal Sex. Raw Sex. Implied Cream Pie. Hold The Moan. Don’t Get Caught. 

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Ethan has never been the kind of guy to really go after what he wants. He is much more passive, go with the flow, he doesn’t want to upset the apple cart nor ruin the image that people have of him. He knows it isn’t the best practice, he wants to get out of that, he wants to start doing things for him, maybe he should have made the call to start standing up for himself before agreeing to help his family avenge his brothers' death via a complex murder plot. However, Ethan was committed now, and he wasn’t going to back out, more importantly he saw no way how to, and so he stays. 

Assuming an identity in a new place and pretending to be someone he isn’t to infiltrate a group of people, pretend to be their friend just to be close enough to kill them was stressful. It felt like it was consuming his whole life, losing who he actually was in some regard, he needed a distraction, something to help give him purpose, ease his worries and the harsher edges of it all, or he’d go nuts. 

You were his outlet. 

Stalking just went along with what he did in service of the grand plan, you were not part of it, not involved, but you caught his eye in one of his classes. The first time, he was just going the same direction as you, he swears to God, he wasn’t being a creep, at first. That did not last long. He started to watch you, learn your schedule, get into your routine, and whenever he wasn’t having to continue his charade he was consumed getting lost in you. 

He knows where you live, he knows your class times, the coffee shop you frequent, your order at said shop, he knows what soap you use, the part-time job you hold and that one of your biggest pet peeves is when the tag in an item of clothing itches against your skin. 

He’s been watching you for an amount of time that he is sure if you knew would make you very fucking uncomfortable. You seemingly hadn’t caught on to what he was up to, which was good, it meant he could keep it up without worry, watching you living your life while you were totally oblivious. To be fair, how observant you are or are not, is not what he liked best about you, honestly what he liked is that you were the opposite to him in a lot of ways. No real responsibilities other than the ones you wanted to have, just living the way you want to, he felt some modicum of jealousy over that, he imagines what life could be like if he could get out of his current situation and have a more normal existence with you, it’s a good escape, but it’s just that, a fantasy, an unattainable one. 

It is getting harder and harder to ignore the situation he is stuck in, the same way it is becoming impossible to ignore the clawing feeling of dread in his chest. He wanted to stop feeling so helpless, wanted a sense of control, to feel like he was living for himself, even in a tiny sense. 

Time is running out, and he needs to correct this, or he might fuck up everything without some serious stress relief. 

Ethan learned about the Halloween party you were going to attend, and he thought maybe that would be good, to go and cut loose a little while near you. That plan changed, morphed, got away from him once he was actually there and near you in the costume you chose. 

He tried to keep distance, to just watch but between observing you having fun, the mounting pressure and the frankly bordering on painful erection in his jeans that would not stop throbbing finally a piece inside of him broke.

You had to know what you did to him. You had to know the effect you had on him, it was like you were aware you were being watched, doing this on purpose, it’s maddening. He could crush the red solo cup in his hand as he observes you dance with a friend, the way your hand rests on his arm, your head tips forward to press against his shoulder as you laugh, the sway of your hips, it should be him, why not him? He stews in his thoughts and the anger, the unfairness and the budding arousal threatening to boil over inside himself. 

He’d brought his Ghostface costume along, had it in his bag for something he needed to do later, it was like he acted on autopilot. He sneaks off, he got into the costume, and then he waits for the right moment. 

You are on your way to the bathroom, but not the main one people use, no these were your friends, and you knew about the lesser used one, he knew about it because of course, creep that Ethan was, he followed you there. When you are close enough he strikes, his hand over your mouth, his other arm loops around your middle, and he drags you the rest of the way to the bathroom. The door is already ajar, it’s no trouble to get you inside, a backwards swing of his foot to the wood makes the door close. The light is dim, there is a nightlight plugged into the wall outlet near the counter top by the mirror, so someone stumbling from the basement guest bedroom can find their way to the bathroom he assumes. 

You are struggling against him, squirming, muffled sounds trying to get out from behind his hand, but he is struck by just this. He is touching you for the first time, holding you, he draws you closer, makes it so you are flush against him. He’s thought about this countless times, you are warm and softer than anticipated, he can fucking smell you and it is intoxicating. He is so caught up in this, taking in every detail and small movement, he presses his hips forward, grinds himself on you through the layers of jeans and black fabric as he smells your hair and then what you do next? Ethan never would have thought in a million years you’d respond like this, by your eyes closing and you grinding back, pressing your ass closer to him with a sound behind his hand that might sound like a moan if he let you express it fully. 

You aren’t fighting him, not any longer, no you are rocking with him, trying to stimulate yourself in any way possible against him-

Oh.

You are better than he thought, he knew you were a slut, he’d seen you in your place, knew your porn search history and the collection of toys you owned, but to be down to fuck a masked stranger you hadn’t exchanged a single word with? You were a world-class whore, he was going to take advantage of this opportunity to the fullest. 

He knows he doesn’t need to hold you so closely, his arm releases your mid-section, his hand slides down your body and between your legs and up the short skirt of the costume you wore, fingers press to your underwear. You are already wet enough he can feel it through the thin material and his gloves. Your hips buck, wanting to get closer, feel more of him, it feeds his ego and emboldens him, you want him, and he isn’t going to deny you. 

He gets his glove off, he needs to feel you, skin on skin. His hand slides into your panties, his fingers dip as low as they can and feel the source of your extreme wetness, he presses, tease the hole carefully before his digits slide up through your folds, and he knows he finds what he needs when you gasp, head thrown back against his shoulder. 

His hand works, fingers circle over your clit, and you inhale sharply through your nose, brows furrow, and he watches you in the mirror. The way the pleasure plays out on your face as he teases you, he enjoys how your body responds, the small tremors of your limbs, the twisting and squirming of your form, the way your clit throbs under his touch as he presses harder. 

He needs to feel you inside. Fingers move, you whine, he dives inside, and he curls them, it causes the biggest reaction out of you yet. Your body pitching forward, hands on the counter and your walls clenching around his fingers. You are so soaked, soft, hot and so thoroughly alive. He can barely move them inside of you, but he does, he slips them in and out, presses to that same spot that got such a big reaction out of you, and he moans quietly, he swears he can feel you getting wetter. 

In and out, flex and push, you writhe, and he wants to hear you, he pulls his hand away, but before he does, he has one finger over your lips, that classic symbol of “shhh” and you nod, eyes half lidded and lust filled. You let out quiet moans, his palm grinds against your clit as his fingers fuck in and out, he can’t take much more. The simple movement, the motion, how hard he is rocking against your ass, he wants to be buried in you, wants to fuck you. 

So he does. 

His hand moves, fingers pulled out, and your eyes had slipped closed again, at the loss of him they open, confused and when you see him pulling the robe up you get the hint. You make your own move, shaky hands lift off the counter and your fingers hook under your skirt, you tug down your underwear and you step one foot out, leaving them hooked around your other ankle. He has the robe up and his pants open finally, the relief of pressure on his straining erection has him letting out a small sigh. His hands are on you, he adjusts you, one knee on the counter and pushing you forward, your hands braced on the sink, and you adjust too, your hips tilt and soon with a hand on your back and the other on the base of his cock he is lining up. 

It’s rushed and faster than he wants, but he just wants so much, it’s been so fucking long he can't stop it, can't help himself. He feels you, the heat coming off of you, the wetness on his tip, he lingers for only a moment before his hips move involuntarily, and then he is helpless. The first half inch pops in with no resistance, and you are perfect, you feel incredible it makes him let go of himself, hands lock on your hips, and he pushes further, slides deeper, and he watches you in the mirror. The way your mouth falls open, the exhalation, the way you tense in some regards and relax in others, but mostly he can’t focus on much else other than how your cunt feels around him as he settles in, finally to the base. 

He soaks you in for a second, you are more impatient than he, you whine again, needier than before, and you move first, pull your hips forward before sliding them back, and it makes any semblance of control break. He takes over, the grip on your hips tightens, and he pulls out almost totally before driving back in, you have to bite your lip to hold the moan back enough to not be overheard. The party is on the main floor, you are in the basement, but you are sure that he could make you alert everyone up there. 

This was insanely hot for you, a masked stranger pulling you away and touching you, groping you, fucking you without you seeing his face or uttering a single word? Unbearably hot, his fingers were good, but even two minutes in his dick puts his hands to shame. He is greedy. He touches more, he didn’t touch you enough before, his other glove comes off, and he touches your legs, your thigh, a firm squeeze of your ass, he feels up your sides and your chest. You lean closer into his touch, moving still with him, loving the pace he took as he fucked you, rough and quick, he pulls the top of your costume down, exposes your tits, palms them, and you moan louder than you probably should. 

This is good, but it could be better still, your hand is between your legs, you stroke your clit as he fucks you, the stretch of him is delicious, you find yourself gasping, arching your back a bit more so he hits that spot inside just a bit harder, a touch better. You are so close to the mirror you are in danger of fogging it up, but you want to look at him, you’d been staring at his masked face this whole time, wondering who is under it. 

You move back, press yourself closer to him and away from the mirror, and you get this urge. This urge that you don’t question or think about. Your back is to his chest, he is still preoccupied with fucking you and rolling your nipples between his fingers, perfectly distracted, huffing and letting out small sounds of pleasures, groans, you reach back behind him and the move is fast. You push the hood back, fingers grip, and you pull and twist, the mask comes off. He’s shocked.

He was so consumed with the feeling of getting to have you, with the mounting pleasure, he even had his eyes closed like an idiot, you got the drop on him. He stopped, held deep, and your eyes met in the mirror. 

He’s hot. Hotter than you thought possible, dark sweat soaked curls and hard eyes, pretty pink lips are wet and parted, he’s strong and has had no issue throwing you around and holding you down. The low orange light playing off your body and his face is going to be burned in your mind forever.

You don’t want him to stop, you want to keep going. You maintain eye contact, you move again, pull him out slightly before bucking back, he inhales hard, and you do it again, and again, slip more out and take him harder on every movement, and he comes back to himself. 

You like this, like him, you liked him as a stranger doing this, but you were still into this now made it even better. He takes over again, he fucks you harder while still meeting your eyes in the mirror. He wasn’t going to stop now until you came around him, and he filled you up.

God, he needed this. 

#BHF asks #BHF writing #Ethan Landry x reader #Scream 6 x reader #Ghostface x reader #HEY BITCHES I'M BACKKKKK #ENJOY IT #EAT UP

[rinbowaman]

S E 7 E N : A S M O D E U S   P A R T   2 W O

Warnings: drying humping, breaking entry, harassment, assault, torturous abuse, blood, gore, groping, and cussing. i think that's it.

“Oh…s-sorry I….I was…I thought you were someone else…someone I wasn’t wanting to see.” You issued back softly, issuing a sense of joy when your pursed lips slightly smiled in a sorrowful yet relieved expression. “Oh? Is someone bothering you?” He inquired as he takes a step closer. Reaching up with his hand, he caressed your face. His attire was very similar to his brothers, just a tad bit more sophisticated as a large black overcoat rested on his shoulders, over his outfit consisting of a black, lightweight blazer, black pants, and a black shirt made of a slinky soft fabric. He had flared a sense of style that would have fashion designers on the edge of their seats and chewing on their fingernails, as the man was an image of glamorous perfection. “You poor thing…you’re too beautiful to be frightened. But I’m here…” his fingers softly drag down from your cheek, neckline, shoulders, and down your arm as he takes your hand in his grasp. “You have nothing to fear now, I’m here. I promise, nothing is going to happen to you.” You nod at his reassurance. “Y/n is your name, correct?” “Yes…” “My brothers were right…you are beautiful…considering you’re mortal.” He smiles as his other hand reaches up to your face, gently tucking the pieces of your hair behind your ear, all the while you adorned the precious earrings Jungwon gave you. “Mortals are never this wondrous…I wonder who you were in your past life…” he states as he studies your hair, his iris shifting all around while you them trace the features of your face. “No wonder he fell in love…even before he saw you…before you were even born.” He smirks out. You gazed at him with a curious expression as he continued. “It was hard to understand, and truth be told, before I came here I still didn’t know the meaning behind his obsession….behind his decision. Yet after seeing you now…well, I guess I too would have held off in killing off humanity.” Your brows slightly furrowed as a look of shock and confusion deepened. “C-can I ask what you mean by that?” You inquired politely and softly. He smirks and chuckles as he lightly taps his finger tip on your nose tip. A trait of affection that he, Jungwon, Jay, and Helel had all displayed. Must be in their blood, considering they’re brothers. “You’ll find out what I mean soon enough. Be patient, and everything will be explained, I promise. We’ll let him express just how much you mean to him.” He smiles. You nod once more as he softly squeezes your hand. “So, I heard that the last two days were some what of an adventure for you. Why don’t we relax and enjoy the day right here? We don’t really need to go out and about.” You nod in response and agreed. You were feeling a little too timid in going out and risk exposing yourself to the regulators, again. Even though you were always protected by these individuals…these men…if you could call them that. You didn’t see it fitting to think of them as demons, since they acted far from it.

The level of protection, affection, tenderness, and love they displayed and showered you with was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, even with the men you’ve dated in the past, none could reach the level and stamina these boys had when it came to love and soul. It was strange, they seemed angelic…considering the ‘angels’ that descend from the clouds above were nothing like you imagined angels would be, nor did they act like it with their mannerism of carrying out each death sentence. Combined with their shiny, liquid metallic and humanoid form, they looked to be more fitting of the demonic feature than Helel and his brothers. “Have you eaten?” He gently inquires as you snap out of your thought process. “Oh…I had some fruit earlier. Thank you.” “Just some fruit? Oh no, darling, we need to feed you. “ “Um…it’s just…I’ve had a hard time gaining an appetite ever since I found out I’m going to die.” He looks up, and smirks. “You mean you don’t want to die and become my brothers wife?” “Oh no…not that…I meant…when I saw the message with my name….before I met your brother I…I was sentenced to die by the angels.” You returned as you looked down at your hand, held within his palm, his fingers rub your skin in earnest. His face was slightly taken aback as he continued to hold your hand, but his expression changed entirely as he looked confused yet stern and nearly irritated. “You mean…someone had it out for you to have you die by those monsters?” He issues softly.

You looked up confused once more, in which he noted and waved his hand slightly as he shook his hand. “Never mind darling, I’m just speaking my mind aloud….I just don’t understand how any other mortal could desire to do harm to you, when you are above them all.” You only grew more confused as he kept talking, yet before you could inquire, he continues. “Don’t worry. You’re not going to die…not by them. I promise, my brother loves you, therefore we love you. He’s not going to let you go down in a manner like that. Your safety, comfort and pleasure…is everything to him. So much, that he sent me and my brothers to see you.” He smiles. You understood as you nodded. Recalling Jays words, you remembers how he briefly explained how he and his brothers were all sent to “prepare” your mind, body, and soul for when Helel comes for you. Though you still didn’t quite understand the meaning behind the method of preparing you. Just what type of death exists that requires for you to be “prepared”? “Come, sit. Let me prepare us something to eat so we can dine and get to know each other.” He calmly states as he pulls a chair and ushers you to sit. “Oh, thank you….um…what is your name, if I may ask?” “Soooo polite. What a good giiiiirrrrllll…” ‘Just like his brothers…they all like to drag that part out when they call me that.’ You mentally note as both, Jungwon and Jay’s voices echoe in your head. ‘Good giiiiiirrrrllll…’ “I’ll tell you my real name a little later, right now, you can call me…” Reach down as you sit, he takes his overcoat off, and rests it atop your bare skin that the loose straps of your tank top barely rested on, one of which has draped your arm as it fell away from your shoulder. Leaning his head next to your ear, his hand moves your hair away as he whispers…

……..

"Sunoo."

P A R T T H R 3 E

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry @honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung hard hours #heeseung smut #enha x reader #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung fanfic #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enha heeseung #enhypen sunoo #kim sunoo #sunoo x reader #sunoo fanfic #sunoo imagines #sunoo smut

[ccuniculusmolestus]

Trip to Rome NSFW? I can't help but wonder if the revelation of the diary happened after they did it. I'M LIVING FOR THE ANGST

Ah yes, a fellow angst connoisseur! (Winterbunny fans, seek help) (/affectionate)

Also I rlly hope I amswer this ok I've written and deleted like 1920192 paragraphs bcd I wanna answer properly LOL

I'm working on a fic for this but I seriously don't know what order to put things in, or maybe I'm just lazy!!

I would like to think it makes most logical sense if:

They're fighting a lot during the Rome trip

A fight turns kinda steamy idk

They have a good night's sleep after thats over.

Henry's migraine has been coming on for a few days at that point but hits full force the next morning

BECAUSE Bunny is relatively more comfortable being closer to Henry now* he becomes even more entitled and snoops around for his diary cuz he's bored (I think Henry was bed ridden for a couple days at that point)

We all know, that like, Bunny didn't really care about the murder. I domt even think he cared about being left out. I think what REALLY got to him was the stuff Henry had written about him. We only know about "cuniculus molestus", which is relatively tame, but knowing the extent of Henry's annoyance with Bunny, I think its safe to assume he REALLY went in whenever he chewed Bunny out in his diary

Like, imagine you have a friend who you get very close to, thinking that you've made a nice connection with someone (which is rare for you). Then you start feeling like this friend, once you guys become close, is using you for your money. THEN this friend starts acting like an entitled brat and practically makes your life Hell.

I'm not saying Henry was obsessed to the point of just filling his diary with "raaarghhh i hate bunny he is so stupid dumb bitch" but whenever he WOULD write abt Bunny it would be callous, like, detached at best, cruel/insulting at worst.

*this is purely my headcanon, based on no like, factual evidence (yet) but I think Henry and Bunny were physically intimate way before the Rome thing, but they just never talked about it, or acknowledged it outside of the moment of close proximity (mainly because Bunny didn't want to face his possible bisexuality diagnosis and Henry just couldn't be arsed). Plus it happened rarely. I feel like they'd become more physically comfortable with each other immediately after they were intimate (caressing each others heads/petting one another, leaning on one another, like soft intimacy) but afterwards they'd kinda avoid one another for a few days, and especially avoid touching each other (like even the brush of a hand) because it would make Bunny uncomfortable (hes homophobic)

Based on this I think

Bunny felt even more entitled than usual to Henry's belongings and personal space, so he went snooping around his stuff when Henry was dead asf

Also, based on their already established intimacy, Henry mightve written some cruel things regarding the more intimate parts of their relationship/vulnerable aspects of Bunny.

Because I guess he was like, "Hes not ever going to read it so I can just vent my frustrations here) (WHICH, I had a whole theory a while back about how Henry intentionally left his diary around for Bunny to read....so maybe he wanted to get the ball rolling to have an excuse to get rid of Bunny) (that's a link)

But also. Theres another possible twist , like, what if Bunny found the diary first? And the fight that ensues after turns into something else purely because they're being vulnerable with one another in the moment.

Henry, in his desperation to get Bunny to shut the fuck up, and Bunny, in his explosive anger (also, cliche movie scene moment 🤓 Bunny won't shut up and Henry's afraid someone might hear them and he's also lowkey enjoying Bunny screaming at him (toxic) so he just grabs him and kisses him)

Honestly I wanna explore both scenarios in two separate one-shots BUT like, I don't wanna be repetitive w my fics like the people (my 2 readers) probably want something new (they don't care)

#LOVE GETTI G ASKS #thank u for the ask! #i hate this ship its the worst btw #they give me a HEADACHE #me when the toxic gays are being toxic again #can they shut up #ask #the secret history #bunny corcoran #tsh #henry winter #tsh donna tartt #winterbunny

[demonslayedher]

Why do you like Demon Slayer so much?

I---I don't know, Anon, w-why do you like breathing so much?

...because BREATH TECHNIQUE LOOKS WICKED AWESOME AMIRITE!??!!?

UFOTABLE MADE SUCH A FREAKING COOL LOOKING ANIME that both looks and sounds amazing with all that care put into it HOW COULD I NOT LOVE IT!? Such good source material too, ALL HAIL WANI-SENSEI!!!!

Or rather, to more eloquently express myself, I'll answer this in two parts: the "why" and "so much."

Why do I like it?

- Simplicity

It's a classic Good .vs. Evil story, a triumph of working hard and working together. It's Coming of Age and Hero's Journey, all themes that never get old because they're really good themes. KnY isn't even that fresh of a take if you boil it down to this, but it didn't need to reinvent the wheel, it just needed to be a good wheel to keep the story going.

I was grateful it ended when it did, it had a goal to accomplish and everything in the story worked toward that goal. I've fallen away from adventure shounen because I can never stay interested in super long series that get mercilessly extended past their natural life as cash cows. Not to sound like a Swamp Demon here, but this manga got to end while it was still young and beautiful.

The fighting mechanisms are complex enough to be fun to explore, but it's not as complicated as other shounen series, making the barrier to entry lower for first-time anime viewers. That's part of why I think it's been so successful. Plus, even though we get things like Red Blades and Marks later, their existence as ultimate techniques was in place from the start, so they felt believably set up and paid off. They made sense within the world building, even if they had to be dropped on the readers later so as to weekly serialization interesting.

It tackles deep themes, but doesn't overcomplicate them. Muzan being a simple villain and Tanjiro simply being good-hearted created interesting tension just fine, the motivations throughout the cast keep the story nicely driven.

- Depth

Although the story, world, and characters are simple enough for people of all ages and familiarity with anime to enjoy, if you want to scratch deeper than the surface level, the hundreds of thousands of words of meta and cultural background throughout my blog go to show that it's very, very easy to bury yourself deeper in it. In my case I already have years of obsession with Japanese culture to build on, so KnY fit very nicely into my niche. I already love samurai and oni and swords and such so that was already playing to my knowledge, but as a passionate nerd, it's also given me lots and lots of exciting new material to learn more about. But more about that later, suffice to say here that Gotouge is a very, very knowledgeable gator.

- Characters

THEY ARE JUST GOOD AND FUN AND UNIQUE DESIGNS IN THE FIRST PLACE, but also, I don’t feel like I already know these characters from other anime. Many of them defy being typecast, and even the ones that do feel like like other characters in a plethora of anime have such a unique spin to make them stand out in my heart. I'm sure I could be a nerd for plenty of other series, but it takes the right characters to make a fangirl.

Also, my emotions got manipulated excellently; I like Tanjiro and immediately wanted to root for him, but I ha-a-a-ated most of the rest of the cast until I got to spend a teeny-tiny bit more time with them, and then I liked them hopelessly. I got totally strung along and I love it when I can get strung along like this.

Why do I like it so much?

A lot of that comes down to my personal recipe of brain soup and the situation I already felt stuck in by the time I got into KnY, a few months prior to the pandemic. Watching the anime and feeling really into it came as a comfort while I was finding myself in what felt more like a situation than a good career move and feeling frustrated with the second draft of a novel which wasn't working. Then just as I had hoped there might be some improvements to my situation which I was holding out for, the pandemic changed everyone's plans.

Simply put, the isolation and stress in those early stages of the pandemic both gave me lots of time to explore and write fanfic and made me rely a lot on the joy I got out of KnY, and then I got so practiced at making KnY fanwork that this blog became like my bonsai I could cultivate in peace while most other things in life have continued to feel out of control. And dang it, I'm good at cultivating this bonsai of a blog! It's gratifying to feel good at something when real life is making you feel otherwise!

Hopefully the upcoming new start in a new city and in a new job that'll hopefully make me feel good at things again and provide some smidge more control over my life will make me less reliant on KnY for such a big share of my happy hormones, but...

THE HYPE IS PART OF WHAT I LOVE

IT IS

SO MUCH FUN BEING OBSESSED WITH A MAINSTREAM PHENOMENON

THERE ARE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY EVERYWHERE

I SAY THESE CHARACTER NAMES AND EVERYONE KNOWS WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT AND THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME

IT STAYS ON MY BRAIN BECAUSE IT IS EVERYWHERE

AND THIS IS SO COOL

[kogglyuffs]

hoooh man me sharing dead plate fics.. fun: ghost au pt. 2

//i will say beforehand that this one was my second time writting somethin bout dead plate therefore i may have made some mischaracterizations and probs had foggy memory of the exact lore yaddayadda ok plz bear w me, and lets move on

@aactuallyno

"Uugh..Ack.. it hurts... yet it doesn't feel much like it..."

He started opening his eyes, feeling mild but still noticeable pain, he looked at his hands, covered in roasted flesh and showing bones. Vincent caressed himself on the face, and the rest of his body, all of it, was just burnt flesh and uncovered bones

"My body... It's all ruined... and painful" He muttered, "And it itches... It itches sooo much..."

He tumbled as he tried to get up, just a pathetic void of roasted flesh. He scratched all around his body, but there was a specific spot itching the most, he reached his hand were it was, in a side of his neck, he remembered that moment...

"This is where Rody stabbed me..." Vincent scratched faster, "It itches, it itches so much it hurts... But it won't stop, no matter how much I scratch it, how hard I try..."

He was standing in the middle of a sketchy background, basically nowhere, talking to himself, being just a mere lost soul in nothingness.

"My life, my bistro, my dreams... All gone, all got ruined because of him... If only he didn't know, if only he complied, but no! All he cared is for that damn girl!

...You disappoint me so much, Rody"

But in a strange glance of the void, he slowly turned as he felt there was someone else nearby. He turned to see another voidy soul like him, but it was a shady looking Manon, she was red void with a single, creepy eye open, with tears dropping across her face, and the marking, the markings she had when she got cut up...

"Ah... Manon" Vince stepped back a bit, "So, we meet again, huh?"

Manon kept staring at him, without making a single movement

"Well, if that's the revenge you wanted, then you got it! Your precious ex-boyfriend saved a life that was long gone... It's just that pathetic, isn't it?"

She didn't reply, just standing there

"Well, now he's out there, probably lost in the city, because all he cared for is no longer there, just disappeared, just like all my dreams and ambitions! Are you happy with that!?"

Manon kept staring at him, Vincent just felt something snap inside him

"I tried so hard to get there! I did all my best to overcome my own limits! I tried to wipe off the fact I couldn't taste ANYTHING just to accomplish my dream! My life! All of that taken away by a mere person that only cared about his girlfriend more than anything in the world! How could you dump him!? How could you leave him over someone like me!? I wish I had someone to love me the way he loved you! But I never got it, because I was too focused on my dream, my ambition, my obsession! And to get over that day I lost my sense of taste... That's all you wanted to hear? All my woes and how pathetic I've become?"

Seeing no response from her, he groaned

"I wanted my taste back, I wanted to see what 'cooking with love' felt... But it didn't happen, and now it never will! Ironic, isn't it? I will not feel or taste anything but demise in this limbo where I'm at, with you.."

He looked back at Manon, "You know what? Fine, take the revenge you want to do! Torture me as much as you please! I do not deserve forgiveness for what I've done and what I was about to do, because it was ALL for NOTHING!"

It was at that moment he saw Manon take a step forward, "I forgive you", she replied

"Eh, what was that?" Vincent tilted his head

"I forgive you... Because you will not harm Rody anymore, nor anybody else... I do not mind what you've done to me... But"

She stepped closer to Vincent, whom didn't take steps back anymore, her red eye looking straight at his, he knew it was more dead serious...

"Your actions still have consequences..."

Vincent mildly closed his eye, "What else might happen? I am nothing but ashes and burnt flesh now..."

"You will not hurt Rody in any way, or I will know..."

The two ghosts stood there in the sketchy void, with tension surrounding in their staring contest.

"I will not let you harm him anymore."

#any vincent fans out there.. im sorry #i personally think his thoughts of being on eternal demise with an itchy body rlly made him snap #his efforts for absolute perfection crumbled right before him.. just thinkin bout that #but ehh.. im sorry if its not so in character for him

[astrobei]

Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12

hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !

12. talk about a new friend you made this year

ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)

i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.

abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun

yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.

haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂

thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.

@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3

moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily

#ok this was so long . #now that i’ve Gushed #i can continue to the other asks in my inbox. oops #anyways i love my friends so much if u couodnt tell #so full of Love and Good Feelings today #thanks for this ask abby i bet u are regretting it now LOL #/ask

[trojanteapot]

i saw ur infinity train classpects & ive always thought of simon as a hope player (specifically prince of hope) & i was wondering why u classpected him as a mind player. idk if i had jst never considered tht possibility but he jst seems SO much like a hope player to me that it threw me off a bit

similarly, i read amelia as a prince of doom instead of a maid of doom (she destroys the rules of the train in an obsessive & need to try and destroy her aspect within the train and - as a result - create life [alrick] etc etc) & i was also interested on why u went w maid of doom when she seems to actively turn away from her doom & suffering to destroy it

ALL of that to say that i just wanna hear more of ur thoughts on infinity train classpects

Thank you for your question!

***First of all I want to say that classpects are designed to be like zodiacs or the Myers Briggs things are are meant to be very flexible and vague and open to interpretation.***

So I think that whatever you think fits the character, go for it!

I can of course expand on my own thoughts about what I decided. And obviously we can disagree. This is all just for fun.

So as I said in my post a lot of how I ultimately decided on the classpect was based on the characters' personal journey or character arc. And for me, the Maid of Doom felt the most in line for Amelia, and likewise Seer of Mind for Simon.

Both these characters are antagonists, one of them a reformed one, and the other one that died a villain, and that also makes them extremely complex and even harder to pin down with character arcs than say, Lake and their very clear arc that they have as a protagonist.

Amelia:

First off, I think you have a point! Perhaps we can read her actions as attempting to destroy doom, or create life! One of my friends were thinking Amelia could be a Sylph of Life, and that also makes sense for her. But what made me think that she is actually a Maid of Doom (or perhaps a Sylph, it's still up for debate) is because I think she needs to accept her own doom instead of reject it, and it was because of that that she started healing and moving away from her obsession with recreating her old life, which kept failing anyway.

It's possible that you could be more on point than me, we didn't see Amelia get her own season where she is the star of the show so we will never know.

Simon:

So I know 100% that I read Simon very differently from the rest of the fandom.

Everyone sees him as an egomaniac and a stubborn idiot who can't change his mind. And I agree that he was those things by the end. But he wasn't always those things! (Well okay he was always a stubborn idiot lol)

People tend to think that his Episode 10 personality was his "true self" but that wasn't how I saw it. I think that was more of him lashing out or having an explosive temper tantrum or meltdown, and not his real self. He was acting in a way that was almost a parody of Grace before her redemption, not as an exaggeration of himself.

Like I said before, because Amelia and Simon spent most of the time not understanding the Train properly and not learning from their mistakes, I believe that means their aspects need to reflect something about them that they wouldn't see in themselves or others might not see in them. And for Simon I feel that way more strongly than for Amelia.

Another reason why I sorta don't like classifying Simon as a prince is because it feels way too obvious. I blame Dirk Strider for this mostly, but the Prince class (and to a lesser extent the Thief class due to Vriska and Meenah) always gets assigned to villains. But I think any class can act in a villainous way. Seers can be just as much a villain as Princes can be. And Aranea showed that a Sylph can behave villainously too.

Besides I don't think Simon has a big ego, I think he has a fragile ego and is overprotective of it (like most cis men but that's a whole nother topic). And his actions in the last 4 episodes of season 3 really reflect that.

And I can also see why you saw Simon as having the Hope aspect because he was adamant in his belief in the ideology of the Apex and didn't want to change. But I would argue that wasn't due to his Aspect but due to his role as a Seer. His character arc isn't just about his stubborn beliefs but WHY he couldn't change his mind from his beliefs. And I think it's because he doesn't understand other people, and not only because he is super attached to his ideology. Grace was just as attached to the ideology of the Apex as Simon was at the beginning of season 3, but she was able to change her mind because she could understand others, specifically other denizens, whereas Simon failed because he couldn't. It was an empathy gap.

Another thing is that there are actually many parallels between Simon and the two canonical seers in Homestuck (let's not count Kankri he was a bit player). And I'm gonna get into more detail on that.

Simon and Terezi:

I actually made an entire PowerPoint presentation for my friends that had a whole section on inexplicable parallels between the two of them! And that was before I thought "hey wait a minute maybe Simon is also a seer of mind!" But basically these are the following parallels

Both of them have a rigid system for interacting with other people. For Terezi it's to LARP the role that her ancestor had as a legislacerator, and treating everything as some sort of crime scene investigation or court cross examination. For Simon, he wrote an entire manual on the best practices for the Apex when dealing with survival situations in the Train. As well as treating everything as a military engagement.

Both of them play with dolls. I think this is manifesting in how they try to gauge the movitations of other people. Terezi uses plushies to act out roles in an investigation to help her find out more about the motives of who she deems a "suspect". Simon also uses his figurines as units in a battle. He would have different figurines represent the Apex kids or denizens. Also in an attempt to understand the best way to deal with situations.

And this also means both of them can get carried away with their rules and games and miss the forest for the trees. As in, come to the wrong initial conclusion, and then stick to it until it's too late. People tend to forget that one of the pivotal moments of Homestuck was that Terezi didn't realize there were several murderers when the trolls were stuck on the asteroid and blamed it all on Vriska. That led to Terezi having to kill her, but it was the incorrect decision (which Terezi told John to fix with his retcon magic).

Both Simon and Terezi seem to really fixate on one image they have of someone they care about, and be unwilling to change how they see them. Even after a betrayal of trust both of them find it difficult to let go of their past idea of the person. (Simon and the Cat, Terezi and Vriska). Of course, it went a bit differently with Simon and his attachment to Grace, but that wasn't due to Grace having hidden motives (it was part of it though) but her changing her entire worldview.

Here's the thing, so Terezi was really really good at being a Seer so clearly that's why it's so hard to see Simon as having the same classpect as her. But lets examine a different seer, Rose.

Rose was terrible at being a seer at first, until she went god tier and was kinda forced to actually fulfill her seer role. She displayed a shocking amount of black and white thinking and stubbornness for somebody whose role was supposedly to gather knowledge and strategize. And here we understand why Simon can be read as a Seer of Mind, because he fucks up being that role just as much as Rose fucks up being a Seer of Light (initially).

Simon and Rose:

Like Simon, Rose had an entire idea about what the game Sburb was supposed to do, and what she and her friends roles must be by playing the game. But she was actually wrong about the game, since her session was never meant to be successful. But instead of accepting that and moving forward, even after prodding from Kanaya, Vriska, and the White Queen, she still refused to listen to them and kept doing whatever she felt was correct.

In fact, Rose's first death at the hands of Jack Noir kind of parallels Simon's own death. Rose was being very stubborn about the way she was doing things in Sburb, not making much progress as a seer, and refusing to listen to dissenting voices. She decided to look inside the white cue ball for answers even though she was told that it wouldn't be a good idea. She kind of got manipulated into doing so by Doc Scratch, and also to a lesser extent when Jade told her to try it not knowing what it would lead to. And that made Rose literally go grimdark when she saw her mom and John's dad were killed by Jack and then decided to go kill him as vengeance, despite being utterly outmatched.

This is similar to the situation when Simon couldn't understand why Grace was pulling away from him, and why she was so afraid of him after he killed Tuba (from his perspective, he and Grace have done this countless times before and she didn't react the way she did in those instances). And so he sought out a way to peer into her mind from the Cat. The Cat plays an equivalent role in Infinity Train as Doc Scratch does in Homestuck. They're both devious and conniving puppet masters with their own agendas. But the Cat is also familiar with Simon, and tried to help him but without full information, just like what Jade did for Rose. And that lead to Simon going "grimdark!"

Anyway those are just my dumb rambles. Honestly I'm sure that it has convinced nobody.

But hey, what we classpect characters as is less about the character themselves and more about ourselves really.

I don't think you would find this helpful but maybe you can just cringe at me instead!

Hopefully it was at least.... Entertaining?

#infinity train #classpects #classpect analysis #simon laurent #amelia hughes

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary187

3/20-21/2024

wednesday - thursday

went out tonight.

it was good, our friends were late and couldn't eat w/ us at the place we wanted to go, the plans were made way in advance and it bites and whatever but you know, it's okay, we still love them, we all love eachother, it kind of bothered me a lot cuz my gf accomplished a lot, but also, idk, it's life, they are flaky and it's okay because we like them so much, they aren't trying to be, their lives really do get in the way and everything is hard for everyone, sincerely. i feel bad for being irritated. but it was how i felt, i wasn't mean i think, i was just like, annoying for 20 minutes.

and the friend we did go to dinner with, that was very nice of course, a lovely person to be around, and he is also in the middle of difficult things. everyone's life right now seems unfun, this year has been starting hard.

but it isn't really starting anymore. it's just early, and still things hurt lots.

i think i need to fix a song quickly so i'll do that.

obsessed with this song a bit,

if i can't be myself i'll share a body with youuuu.

i sometimes feel that for my gf. like, i believe that she doesn't care i'm all messed up and stuff, and really loves me, and will let me be what i have to be, whatever that is, that she likes that even. but i sometimes worry, and if not, i could give up, maybe. but i don't think i have to. i just love her, and maybe to a point, i really need her around now, our lives are just too intertwined. but i know that she doesn't feel like grossed out, and she loves me, i'm really, really, really, just dumb. she is more supportive than anyone could ask for, she loves my vague shape and that i am an androgyne. i am just out to upset myself sometimes.

it is so odd, some of us, myself i guess, are turned against ourselves forever, i am never going to not want to harm myself, it is crucial, it is the cousin of my desire for critique, maybe even some piece of the biopolitical apparatuses lodged inside, a discipline overgrown and malignant. but it feels like an underside to a force or drive inside me that is frequently not bad, it is not acting out with nothing in mind, it is maybe the runoff, the waste product, of curiosity, to want to know and to lay on the barbs of the rose, to think, you only know when it hurts, it is hard to make joy painful, but maybe i should. i want joy to burn me horribly, so hurting myself won't be in the realm of doubt, but for affirmation to burn so bright i know something, am complete, and at once unraveling. this is i suppose, why eroticism figures so much into everything i do.

is that strange?

i had good discussion of foucault with our friend we had dinner with, he makes it so easy, it's interesting, with him, with my girlfriend, i am not afraid to talk about these things, but with so many people, it feels like to open my mouth is to invite someone speaking down to me. it's never mean, they speak down because they want me to understand. but it hurts all the same. but they don't hurt me, the conversations go places.

there are also other people i can talk to, i suppose, but it is not their interest in particular, this kind of philosophy stuff, or it's distant to them, not central. but it figures into my life a lot more, it informs a lot of what i do creatively, these critiques, the power to read methods, to try them, to mix them, to modulate whatever, it helps develop the things i create, i dunno.

part of writing is at its root, not about writing, it is about observing. observing so much, holding it all, it must be expelled, a waste product, an obsession.

the above, about curiosity, there too is the will to destroy or dismantle, the will to dismantle corresponds to a sense of isolation, too. i want to destroy the assumptions of the world, i want to destroy the foundations so something else can come, this means also, i want to be different myself, i want to originate, or suggest at minimum, that other point. this means that i set myself aside or i try, or i imagine that there is a point where i could be. i self isolate, i alienate myself in part by being alienated or whatever, why does that emerge in anyone, all i think, now, thinking that, tearfully, are images of laura palmer.

i am listening to a podcast on bataille, with a translator of bataille. i am very fond of the translator, stuart kendall, a very well spoken man. he is now speaking on the notion he has, bataille, of uniqueness in people, and that this is equated with a sort of monstrosity, not that it monstrous to be unique, but that we all are, and these unique features or facts, are monstrous or would be seen as such and thus managed in some way. this feels odd, not the construction, which feels true, but i guess stuart's talking about it, it is almost this kind of thing you'd hear as maybe something nice, a kind of sweetness, we are all unique, and to suppress that is terrible. it is true. but there is i guess something in me, i have been convinced all my life, nothing i feel or think is unique, it is not special to me, across the earth, another is feeling what i am feeling and thinking many of the same things. there are so many of us, i can disappear, it is fact. this is maybe not true entirely, but i wonder about what my un-specialness, that i have held since childhood, in my head, as something i would speak to myself to not feel sorry for myself, implicates, is this then the management of the monstrous, my horrible feelings? i do not feel it is ethical in any way to deny that others may feel these things, or that in time, the nexus i am, is special, others have access to all of this, i am not alone, i should not be. it is a strange nexus, i want a joining maybe, not of people necessarily, but that we are held as monstrous, and in this, a solidarity, perhaps in the hell of being managed? but even then, there is at root something i am convinced of, of unspecialness, but maybe it is wrong to use that word, perhaps that is not the conviction. maybe what i am convicted of is that there is a grave amount of pain, constantly, there is horror, we are expelling it, it is expelled onto us, but i do not know. does this run counter to my desire to be, is another question. i am lonely, not in life, but there is loneliness inside of me, i feel apart, it is sometimes horrible because i am nothing romantic, like an astronaut, i am waste, or something else, i am caught up not inside an object, but related to one, here my flesh is, me, but my flesh held in the minds of others, i cannot exceed myself, to get across something. there is that, the idea that i can get something across, at war with the idea that there is nothing in me no one does not know already. but perhaps knowing is the wrong sense of it, there is uniqueness, and this gets to the terrain of horror, in the sense of it, what it does to one, the traversal of malady and its inscribings upon us. it is hard to say, not what i am saying, but accurately.

this made me write in my story. i am happy. and the song is exporting. it is a lie to say i'm happy but i'm something. you know the feeling but i want it. is that special to me. it's like puking but not really. i am so sad. i am so happy. i want things inside of me, there's something there though and i don't want to push it out of the way. i am clusters of wants, so many they intermodulate.

i wonder if this is all stupid, as thinking. i am not sure. it is maybe navel gazing. i want to produce something that is true or describes the difficulty. the feeling i guess. it is incoherent, or is it, i dunno. it is not inconsistent, it is not special substance, it is not phantasm, it is memory and accrual, beneath my nails it is real, i swear, it is of materiality. the difficulty of being among others and counted, the pain of being counted in the first place, the necessity of the counting, and then on the other side, that i do not know i belong. belonging is difficult, i do not want to, but i have also never been sure of it. but i do not matter. what is this sense, it only makes me recall nietzsche and the vicious circle by klossowski. difficult. i need to finish that book. it did good things to me.

it is not that i want to defend the idea i am like everyone, or maybe worse, that everyone is like me, which is maybe the thing that really happens in the sense that others would feel what i feel, at certain points, it was always, as a child, about feeling sorry for myself. it is more that i want to know why i find difference so hard to i guess, idk, take, fully, or not take, i believe it is the case, we are different, it is true, painfully true as much as it is beautifully true, we are heterogeneous creatures. however even with this, i guess, what i am i guess approaching is that we have all be disciplined, by similar structures, borne into repetition, and so the flows/drives are restricted not by repression, but by modulation, teaching, we are made inarticulate of ourselves in order to be articulate of the structure that develops and maintains. this produces a difficulty, i suppose this is what i feel when the image of laura palmer comes to mind, finally articulating herself, in screeches, it is there i locate things of myself, the screeching as one has no choice but to wish to burn away all that surrounds and develops them, and still, ineffectual, the sense of being nothing.

i don't know though. it is difficult. it is hard, everything is difficult.

everything means too much and i am pacing.

i like the song now though. i am happy, and i mean it, and i mean it, and i mean it.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[phoebehalliwell]

but at the end of the day we're talking about the source of all evil and cole wasn't even at full power when he got possessed. if it had been belthazor maybe but cole's human life stood no chance. and i will never ever ever understand just how different of a treatment by the sisters he got for his body essentially being hijacked for months. like imagine the trauma imagine how violated he must have felt and then they were like here have some victim blaming!! like what the fuck even??

fr like phoebe has the source the size of a pinto bean in her and like went full on insane (granted, she was being fed "pure evil" by the seer, but like even w/o that she was still cray cray. it's also fully possible the seer had been dosing cole w the same juice, we don't know, at the very least, she was still like whispering in his ear 24/7, which does hella damage). it's just so weird to be that they decided to go forward with it. i also just this is off topic i don't like how they're like belthazor is different from cole and belthazor is a demon and cole had no responsibility in that and we need to separate them bc um. belthazor is really fun. and also really beefy. also we missed to opportunity to have one of those look at me babe this isn't you baby look at me phoebe kisses belthazor and as she kisses him he morphs back into cole move. they pass out candy on halloween and cole just does it as belthazor. like. that could have been fun.

actually extending this tangent i've said it before the moment they decided to do black as cole was the moment they decided to fuck cole over because what did that add to the narrative? exactly?? and making him human was a pussy ass move. like. literally to even to venture more into the demon world could have been an avenue like obvi we're killing the source of all evil so the underworld's gonna be in dissarray what's that even going to look like how is the underworld structure who's gonna vie for power next and how are they going to do it how will it break down demonic order cole was high up in demonic order how will those demons react will they seen an increase in attacks on innocents / witches as demons and warlocks and the like try to move to the front will we see some defect to the light side bc they wanna be on the winning side, be like cole, and if they do, can we trust them. is it the human half of cole that makes him able to love, or is it possible that demons are far more complex than the elders say. is it possible the elders are a negative power structure 👀👀

but i'm lost in the sauce. i just. i don't. it's like. it's like they wanted cole to be the villain. obvi. that's why he became the source. but they acknowledged that they had already come so far in his character development that that would make literally no sense Unless it was a possession type. And Yet!! we're still not meant to see cole as the victim here, from a narrative standpoint. like. the fifth halliwell, when he tortures paige. that is the narrative telling us he is evil. but at the same time, we see cole trying to fight the source, and then the story's like no yeah but that's actually not important look he's the bad guy he made phoebe queen of hell and now she's a bitch to her family that's cole's fault bc he's evil. it's just. it's so fucking weird. that they (the writers) never once stopped to consider what exactly the fuck was going on. i don't even think the girls found out it was a possession (tho theoretically they could have linked that by looking at phoebe's demon baby, which could literally gain motor control over her??) like. no one ever told them. cole never said it. i think they just thought he like. was a dick all of a sudden that he was evil and didn't love phoebe but was rather just obsessed with her. i guess. it's all so fucking weird man it's all so not good

#i love phoebe and coop but now hmm i'm thinking about an s4 au where it actually is good #and like a phole endgame would go so hard............ #thots being thunk #it's like. i don't ship phole bc i hate it's execution and it's got multiple tropes i dislike. #but. in concept. not in practice but in concept. they can really hit man i mean hello witch demon romance romeo & juliet style #like. #i'm just sayin #charmed #cole turner #phoebe x cole #💌

[lostinthewiind]

Sorry for already requesting again, I’m just slightly obsessed with your writing. Could I request another Poly!Matchablossom where they take care of the reader when they are on their period and in pain? If you want to keep the reader more neutral, I totally understand and would change the request to the reader just generally not feeling well. Thank you in advance!

Polyamorous Relationship w/ Joe & Cherry: Period Pains

A/N: okay so I love this request because I'm single AF and every time I get horrendous cramps during my period I wish I had someone to take care of me, but alas, I just have to curl up in my heated blanket alone :( Anyway, I shall now live vicariously through this fic. If anyone would like a gender neutral fic with the reader just being sick or something, let me know!

Rating: PG13

Warnings: mentions menstrual cramps and general period problems that some of us unfortunate souls have to endure once a goddamn month, mentions nudity, tiny bit spicy 

All things considered, it was shaping up to be a good day. The sun was shining bright, the warm rays peeking through the curtains of the apartment you shared with your boyfriends. Birds were chirping happily outside, waking the city with their beautiful song, and it was the weekend, so you didn’t have to go to work. 

It was going to be a great day . . . well, it would have been a great day if you weren’t currently experiencing some of the worst period cramps of your life. Because of this painful monthly inconvenience, all the things that would normally make you smile were thoroughly pissing you off. 

The sun shining through the crack in the curtains and the chirping birds acted as a taunting reminder that it was morning and that you hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep that night thanks to your uncomfortable cramps and aching body. Sometime during the night, you had been forced to sneak your way out of the bedroom and set up camp on the couch for fear of waking your boyfriends with your constant tossing and turning.

This, however, wasn’t nearly enough to sooth you to sleep. If anything, it only made things worse because you never slept well without Joe and Cherry by your side. So, after popping a couple painkillers and downing a glass of cold water, you resigned yourself to lying awake on the couch for almost the entire night, staring up at the ceiling and trying not to break out into sobs due to pain, frustration, and exhaustion. 

Hearing the bedroom door open, you tilted your head slightly and watched as your boyfriends emerged from the bedroom dawning housecoats on their bodies and happy, sleepy smiles on their faces. At least they were enjoying everything this wonderful Saturday had to offer.

“Good morning,” Cherry greeted you with a quick peck on the forehead as he passed you on the way to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. “You’re up early.”

You winced and squinted as Joe threw the curtains open, flooding the room with blinding light. “That assumes I went to sleep at all,” you scoffed, your eyes slowly adjusting to the sun rays shining directly in your eyes. 

“You haven’t slept?” Joe walked over to the couch, squatted down in front of you, and placed the back of his hand to your forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

You grimaced and swatted his hand away, knowing deep down that he was only trying to be nice but being bothered nonetheless. “No, my body is trying to rip me apart from the inside out!” You grabbed a throw pillow from the couch, pressed it firmly over your face, and groaned loudly. “I’m in pain!”

Joe and Cherry, who were familiar with how intense your periods could be by now, shared a knowing look from across the apartment. As much as you tried not to, you tended to lash out a little when the cramping kept you from sleeping or doing any of the daily activities you were used to. 

“Cramps?” Joe inquired despite already knowing the answer. When you nodded from underneath the pillow, moving the pillow along with your head movements, Joe placed his large hand on your lower abdomen and pressed down firmly. Then, without hesitation, he began to massage the internal muscles that were causing you such distress. “How’s this?” he checked to see if his actions were helping or hurting.

You sighed, your entire body relaxing into his touch as he massaged away some of the discomfort. “Feels good,” you mumbled, finally lifting the pillow from your face and setting it to the side. “I took medication but it didn’t help at all. It’s really bad this month.”

“Do you want any coffee?” Cherry called softly from the kitchen, pausing after he opened the cabinet until he knew if he needed two or three mugs. 

At the thought of drinking anything that wasn’t water, your stomach turned. “No, thank you.” You shook your head. 

After setting the mugs atop the counter, Cherry shuffled over to the back of the couch and leaned over it to caress your cheek lovingly. “Nauseous?” he asked.

You nodded. “And I have a headache,” you added, “but that could be from lack of sleep or because I haven’t eaten anything in a while . . . or simply because the universe hates me.”

“The universe doesn’t hate you,” Joe assured you as he moved your legs a little so he could sit on the couch with you before laying your legs across his lap and continuing his massaging. “But even if it does, we love you so it doesn’t matter.”

You chuckled slightly as Cherry returned to the kitchen. “Thanks.” You tried your best to sound sincere but due to your exhaustion-induced monotone voice, you sounded more annoyed than anything. 

“So you spent most of the night out here?” Joe questioned, his rough hands shooing the pain away one skilled movement after another. 

“Yeah,” you answered. “I couldn’t get comfortable and didn’t want to wake you guys. No sense in all three of us not getting any sleep just because I was born with an organ that is infused with the wrath of Satan himself.”

Joe laughed under his breath. “You really do reach new levels of anger during this time of the month,” he commented. “Good thing you don’t take it out on us . . . most of the time.”

“I’m sorry,” you shot him a sheepish look, apologizing for all the times you had treated him and Cherry rudely because of your mood swings and pain. “I don’t mean it.”

Joe noticed the guilty look on your face and immediately felt bad. “I was just kidding, love.” He pulled your close to his body and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “We know you don’t mean it.”

“Good.” You tucked your face into the crook of his neck. 

Removing his hands from your stomach, Joe ran his fingers through your hair and kissed you again. “Do you feel any better?”

“A little,” you forced a small smile. “Thank you.”

Just then, Cherry appeared before the two of you with two mugs of coffee in his hands. After handing one to Joe, he looked down at you with a sympathetic look on his face. “You should eat something, darling,” he told you. 

“I know,” you agreed. “I’m just not hungry.”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Cherry lost himself in thought for a few moments while he tried to brainstorm a way to get you feeling good enough to be able to put some food in your body. Then, without saying anything, he turned on his heel, walked away, and disappeared inside the bathroom.

Seconds later, you could hear water running and could smell the faint scent of your favourite bubble bath wafting into the living room. “A warm bath sounds wonderful,” Joe whispered in your ear, catching onto what Cherry’s plan was. “Take a relaxing bath with Kaoru to ease your muscles and by the time you’re done I’ll have breakfast ready. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” The thought of soaking in hot water was nearly enough to put you to sleep right then and there. “The only way it could be better was if we had a bathtub big enough for the three of us.”

“I agree.” Joe kissed the shell of your ear. “I’ll join you next time.”

“Okay.”

Minutes later, the sound of running water ceased and Cherry emerged from the bathroom. “Come now, beautiful.” He lifted you out of Joe’s arms and into his own, years of skating at S gifting him with muscles that hid beneath his slender frame. “Better get to cooking, Kojiro.” He eyed the other man.

“Okay, damn.” Joe held up his hands in defense as you and Cherry headed for the bathroom. “Let a man take a few sips of coffee first.”

You chuckled lightly, seeing through Cherry’s remark and knowing he did it just to coax a laugh out of you like you did whenever the two bickered about nonsense, which he had achieved. 

“There’s that beautiful laugh,” Cherry commented, smiling at the sight of your amusement. “I wish I could do more to ease your pain but I hope this helps even a little.”

“Of course it will help,” you told him as he set you down and closed the bathroom door behind the two of you to keep the heat inside the room. 

After stripping and setting your clothes to the side, you stepped into the warm bath and let out a relieved sigh like you had when Joe had massaged you. As you sank down into the water and the beautifully scented bubbles surrounded your body, you felt your muscles begin to relax. Letting your eyes flutter shut, you basked in the euphoric feeling of being comfortable for the first time in hours.

“You look content.” Cherry’s voice was soft and quiet, careful not to startle you out of your happy daze. “Can I do anything else?”

“You can join me.” You extended your hand toward him. “Will you? Please?”

Cherry smiled as he too began undressing. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” he assured you, and as you slid forward to make room for him, he sank down behind you and the water sloshed against the sides of the tub as the two of you maneuvered into a comfortable position. 

As Cherry wrapped his arms around you from behind, you leaned back into his chest and smiled happily when he rested his chin on top of your head. The two of you stayed like that in complete silence for a while, just enjoying the time you had to spend with each other.

 “We should do this more often.” Cherry spoke after a while, sounding like he was enjoying the bath even more than you were. “I could almost fall asleep like this.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you warned. “I’m so tired.”

“You just close your eyes and relax.” He held you tighter. “I wont let you drown.”

“Promise?” you joked.

Cherry scoffed and rolled his eyes at you. “Yes, I promise.” He dipped his head down and began peppering your cheek, jaw, and neck with kisses, nips, and kitten licks. “I’m here for you. Whatever you want . . . I just want you to feel good.”

“That definitely feels good.” A small moan escaped your lips as you tilted your head to the side to allow your boyfriend easier access to your neck. “Very good.”

Once Cherry’s mouth reached your shoulder, he slid his tongue along your skin as he moved back up to your ear so he could work his way down again. “You know what else would feel good?” You felt him smirk against your flesh, but before he could elaborate, the bathroom door opened and Joe strode in with a spoon of something in his hand. 

Stopping halfway between the door and the tub, Joe narrowed his eyes at the two of you. “You know, I’m feeling very left out right now.”

“It’s not always about you.” Cherry scowled, clearly upset about being interrupted. “Ever heard of knocking?“

“I’ve seen you both naked before. Many times. I don’t need to knock.” Joe brushed off Cherry’s concern and approached with the spoon held out toward you. “Does this taste good?”

Now that your nausea had subsided and you were actually beginning to feel hungry, you happily opened your mouth and tasted whatever it was that Joe had created in the kitchen. You didn’t know what it was, but it was some sort of sauce and it was sweet. 

“It’s very good,” you assured him. “But everything you make is good.”

Joe’s face lit up at the compliment. “Not too sweet?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Ahem,” Cherry cleared his throat. “I’m here too, you know. Do I get a taste?”

“It’s not always about you.” Joe threw his own words back at him before smiling sweetly at you. “Breakfast will be ready soon. I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t help but return the smile, feeling much better than you had earlier. 

Before Joe left, he pressed a kiss to your lips and a peck to Cherry’s head as a peace offering to make up for the two’s nattering at one another before. Then, he was gone and the sound of him working in the kitchen filled the apartment.

“What did he feed you?” Cherry questioned, running the tips of his slender fingers up your arm and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You shrugged. “I have no idea, but it was delicious.”

“Mmm,” Cherry hummed, his mouth quickly finding its way back to your skin and sucking on your shoulder. “You know what else is delicious?”

You giggled when he grazed his teeth across a ticklish spot on your neck. “Breakfast is soon. You aren’t allowed to eat me.”

“But you taste so good, I just want to-”

“Kaoru, could you come help me?” Joe called from the kitchen, almost as if he knew what the two of you were up to and was interrupting again on purpose. 

Cherry’s head fell back and he huffed. “Oh, my God. Is five minutes alone too much to ask?”

Dropping your head back onto Cherry’s shoulder, you pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the nape of his neck. “Don’t go. Pretend you didn’t hear him.”

Cherry squinted down at you quizzically. “What’s gotten into you? You’re usually the one encouraging me to be nicer to him.”

“I know . . . but just this once, please?” You batted your eyelashes at him. “If he thinks we didn’t hear him, he’ll come to get you and then we can convince him to let us stay in the bath a little longer. It’s just so warm . . . I don’t want to get out yet.”

“But the food will get cold.”

Your eyes grew as wide as dinner plates at your sudden idea. “Do you think we can eat breakfast in the bath?”

Cherry laughed heartily at that. “Well if you ask Kojiro with the same wondrous expression you just gave me, I don’t think there is any way he could say no. He might even feed you if you say please and kiss that spot behind his ear that he really likes.”

“I hope so.” You felt like you were in heaven with the thought of being fed delicious food in a warm bubble bath. “It’s worth a try, at least.”

“Indeed it is.” Cherry kissed the top of your head, truly happy with how much your mood had lifted in such a short amount of time and proud of himself that he had helped make that happen. 

With your eyes glued to the door, waiting for your other boyfriend to walk back into the bathroom, you exhaled contently. Maybe today was shaping up to be a good day after all. 

#sk8 the infinity #lostinthewiind #fluff #sk8 joe #sk8 cherry blossom #sakurayashiki karou #nanjo kojiro #reader imagine #x reader #reader insert #polyamorous relationship with cherry and joe #polyamourous #polyamory

[xtodorcki]

may i request? one where levi and reader has suddenly parted ways leaving both of them heartbroken. fast forward to a few mos later, reader has moved w/ a new partner (but is still very much in love with levi) and then one day, both of them unintentionally crossed paths again (now as exes) levi reminisces their past and concludes that he still has feelings for reader. the ending is up to you tho! i love ur writing lol i’m rlly obsessed ❤️

“Reunited,” Levi x Reader

Summary: After you and Levi’s brutal breakup, you move on. Randomly, you two run into each other and ‘catch up’ but Levi confesses that he still loves you.

Warnings: none

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“I want you gone, I don’t want you here anymore!” You screamed at Levi, shoving your hands into his chest as you tried to push him away from you.

“Then fucking leave? No one is stopping you, Y/N.” Levi stood his ground, his arms crossed over his chest as he gave you a cold stare.

“You’re such a dick and you wonder why no one ever sticks around long enough.” You let it slip up, the painful words had crushed his heart in seconds.

“Yeah? Now I can see why you were alone in the first place.” He said, it was like venom from a snake bite- toxic.

“I hate you.” You mumbled, the tears running down your face didnt phase Levi- not anymore.

You two were having a full screaming match in his office, you were positive the scouts down the hall heard the full thing but it didn’t matter- the anger boiling inside of you made you not think of anyone else.

“Glad we both feel the same.”

His words hit you like a truck, even though your words were just as bad- you said them because Levi pushed you to that point. That’s all he did was push and push until you have a reaction.

This time you were done.

-

It had been months since you last seen Levi, you were heartbroken and long nights you cried and cried, hoping he would suck up his pride and ego to apologize to you but it never happened.

You quickly jumped into another relationship, hoping this would make you forget about Levi but it never worked. Every time your partner would kiss you or try to touch you, all you thought about was him and the way he made you feel.

It was painful. Extremely painful.

You tried to suck it up, hoping it would get better but as of now- it hasn’t and you’re having a hard time dealing with that.

Levi, on the other hand, has been distracted with the scouts but once his head hits the pillow late at night, his thoughts are always directed to you.

He wish he could see you, he wish he could hold you again but he felt like a burden, he felt like you were better off without him so he stayed away.

But one random day, he had went into the town after coming back from a expedition. He had separated from the group, going straight to the bar because even though he wasn’t a drinker, he needed something to make him forget.

His uniform was still on, the pained look on his face didn’t begin to describe how he felt on the inside. It was getting too much to handle, he felt like he needed these drinks.

Until he caught a quick glimpse of your face, his heart stopping as his feet froze on the concrete. The smile you had on made his heart race and he didn’t realize his feet were moving towards you until you both made eye contact and your smile fell.

“Levi,” You said, looking over at him and your partner stood behind you protectively as they stared down Levi.

“So this is the famous Levi.” They mumbled, making you turn around to face your partner.

“You can go on ahead, I’ll be fine.” You tried to get them to leave because frankly, you didn’t want them there.

Your partner had kissed your cheek on purpose, eyeing Levi as they left and he looked at you like he had seen a ghost. You moved on and Levi wanted to rip everyone apart to feel something other than the pain weighing on his chest.

You both stood in silence, you didn’t know what to say or what to do but you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want this to be the last time you saw him. He gestured you to follow him inside the bar he was planning on going inside and you did, not a word has been spoken yet.

As the two of you sat down, Levi settling with whiskey and you just settled with a coffee- it was quiet and awkward. The tension was thick and you looked around the room to avoid eye contact.

“I didn’t know you found someone else.” He finally spoke, the sarcasm on his tongue was lingering and you can sense that he thought of your partner as a joke.

“Oh- yeah, three months.”

He gave you a wide eyed look, three months? He thought to himself. You two have only been broken up around five or six months and you were that quick to jump with someone else. It had shattered his heart more if that was even possible, laughing under his breath before downing his drink completely then asking for another.

“Levi,”

“So, did you not love me? Was our relationship a joke?” He cut you off, leaning forward against the table with a look of amusement on his face.

“Not at all, our relationship was everything to me.” You admitted, watching his eyes roll and he took another breath, trying to clam himself.

He didn’t want to argue with you, no, that’s not why he made you follow him in this lonely bar. In fact, he wanted to desperately kiss you, hug you. Shit, he wanted to drag you home and show you how much he missed you but when he saw your partner, his temper had taken over- along with his sadness.

“Y/N, I’m going to be honest with you.” He started off, looking into your eyes and it had made his heart skip a beat.

Suddenly his emotions had taken over, the flashbacks flooding his mind like they were yesterday. The first one he thought of was the time you two were in bed, he was trying to read a book and you were trying to get his attention. The way you would nudge him, purposely pull his eyes away from the book in his hands to look at you fully, the way your laugh would echo in his bedroom- he missed it.

Then the flashbacks of you taking care of him after expeditions, making sure to bandage his wounds and comfort him afterwards, making sure you reminded him how special he was and how grateful you were to have him.

It made him want to cry in your arms right now but he sat there. He made sure he kept himself well put together because he didn’t want to make you worry or hurt you in any way.

He didn’t realize how zoned out he was, the thoughts of you flooding his mind and the memories he shared with you- they were amazing and he couldn’t help but miss it.

“Levi?” You questioned, watching him stare down at the glass in front of him and soon he snapped out of it, looking up at you.

The jealousy he felt, the way your partner kissed your cheek like you were theirs. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to desperately take you away from here. All these emotions overpowering him, he wanted to explode.

“Fuck it.” He said breathless, making you raise an eyebrow before he practically climbed over the small table, cupping your cheeks and smashing his lips on yours.

You were caught off guard, the sudden kiss almost made you throw yourself back but you remained in place. The long nights you would think about this, this moment. The dreams you would have of Levi kissing you, it was all coming to life.

Your shaky hands grabbed onto his wrists, keeping him in place before you completely leaned in and moved your lips in sync with his. You still got the same feeling every time he would kiss you, fireworks. Every kiss and touch all made you feel the same spark you were feeling now.

Levi was so desperate to keep this going, he never wanted to lose you again, he was even too scared to let go but he pulled back, his face inches away as he stared deep into your eyes, taking in the moment incase it gets ripped away.

“I would say I’m sorry but I’m not... I still love you, come home, please..” Was all he said, his eyes had a sparkle of hope in them, hoping you would ditch your new pathetic partner and come back with him.

The amount of love you still had for Levi was more than enough for you to nod your head, making him drag you out the door and down through the town to go back to his place. He would turn back to look at you, the smile on his face had made your heart flutter with happiness.

“Levi, wait.” You stopped him right as you both stood outside of his place and he gave you a look of concern, afraid you’ll run off again.

“I never stopped loving you, I just want you to know that. Everyday only got harder without you next to me.” You admitted, making his hand squeeze onto yours and he embraced you in a tight hug.

Your face was nuzzled in his shoulder, the tears stinging your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him. The overwhelming feeling that washed over your body made you cry a bit, you were finally happy and content. You didn’t realize you missed Levi this much until he touched you.

“God, I love you.”

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This ended up really cute. It made me soft🥺

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

#levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #levi Ackerman #levi x reader #levi imagines #levi imagine #levi fanfic #levi headcanons #aot headcanons #aot imagines

[yandere-sins]

The Fox Wedding - Stay dead [True End]

Summary: You escaped.

Characters: Kitsune!Suna Rintarou, Reader

Rating: Explicit  

Warnings for this chapter: Happy Ending

Death was as calm as you would expect it. Your body - or rather, your soul - felt like it was floating on water, but no wave dared to disturb you. There was no up or down, just the floating, and that was all there was for a while. As if you were in a room painted in black, nothing to see, to hear, to feel. All you knew was that it wasn’t uncomfortable.

The place you were in now wasn’t plagued with the horrors of life. Pain and suffering, fear and anger. There was no regret and no desire for revenge, but even without any feelings at all, it wasn’t boring. Perhaps this was what made death so unique, the absolute nothingness. You couldn’t even feel if you moved a limb or not, and thus, you concluded that this was it. Even after all that happened, without being able to feel anything, it became meaningless.

You were ready.

Who knew where your soul would go now, but you were ready to move on.

It almost felt like you were ascending from the water, ready to leave. Limbo. Going like this wasn’t bad, and your judgment of the situation was meaningless and thus easy for you. But perhaps you actually liked it! What was there not to like about it?

“Death is permanent, Human,” a sudden voice rung out. You didn’t know this was possible in this space. Was that God? Was it true after all, did such an entity exist? “So… come back.”

And at once, it was over.

Grabbed by what felt like fabric on your back, you were pulled backwards into the water, completely engulfed by the wet. You felt it glide over your skin, wet your hair, and try to fill your nostrils and mouth, and your body instinctively knew not to accept it inside of you. You opened your mouth to let it out, but it only filled more, and then, suddenly, you were pulled out of the water.

“Shhh, shhh,” a voice tried to calm you as your body shook violently in a cough. A stranger’s hand helped you to wipe away the water on your eyelids, and he held you up, so it was easier to free your lungs of the water. Even though you blinked a few times, you couldn’t get accustomed to the brightness all around you, but one by one, your senses reappeared.

You could feel the pressures on your body and pinch yourself again, birds chirped all around you. The taste on your mouth was unpleasant as if you had eaten something foul, but luckily it disappeared as time passed. Finally, your eyes started to focus again, the blur disappearing together with your sensitivity to light. You looked up at the tree crowns, rays of sunshine bursting through them as a breeze got caught in the leaves.

“W-Where--” you croaked, only causing you to cough more. Was this heaven? It almost seemed like it since you couldn’t hear anguished screams or the crackling of fire. So it wasn’t hell. Looking down at yourself, you seemed too old to be reincarnated, and you soon enough found yourself out of options of where you were.

“The forest,” the unfamiliar voice explained for you. Finally, you looked up towards the person sitting beside you, blinking a few times as you tried to remember where you had seen him before. His dark brown hair was shining in the sun, and from it, two very peculiar ears seemed to stick out. All of a sudden, you were hit by a flashback.

Gasping loudly, you touched your shoulder, tearing at the white kimono you were wearing and which you had never seen before. But no matter how much you searched, you couldn’t find the wounds that were inflicted on your body. It almost seemed pristine, but you knew it wasn’t.

“There are still some marks,” the stranger said, and you couldn’t help but flinch. Instinctively, you pushed yourself away from him, sliding off his hold and onto the ground, noticing you had been sitting in a spring. It wasn’t deep, but you noticed the bubbling nearby where it continuously flowed out of a crack in a stonewall. You felt too weak to actually move further, but now that you looked around, this part of the forest was even more unfamiliar than any other.

“Where am I?” you asked daunted, a big part of you returning to a state of fear and panic. The stranger sighed as he got up and walked over, seizing you by the armpits and pulling you up. Putting your arm around his neck and steading you with one hand around your hip, he moved forward, urging you to move even though you struggled. The first few steps were a hurdle, but with every continuous one, it got better.

“Why… But I…”

“Yes,” he said. “I won’t deny what happened, but I’m one of the few that knew about this magical spring water. It healed your wounds - almost perfectly even. But I don’t think there’s much more I can do for you.”

“Where are we… going?” you questioned as he led you on a small path through the forest. Everything seemed so… normal. As if it was trying to undermine the cruelty that happened the night before. “You wanted to go home, didn’t you?”

Peeking up at this, you gave the stranger another look over, all the memories slowly coming back. “I remember you,” you mumbled. “You were with Kita when he came to look after me! Why… why would you help me?”

Catching him as he looked away as if he was caught in a lie, there was no immediate answer. Instead, the pace quickened, and you did your best to keep up with his lead. “Not everyone liked the idea of marriage,” he finally spoke up. In the distance, you could see the trees clearing up. The end was finally near.

“Kita is a good leader. We all like him. But he’s been too obsessed with the idea of marrying you ever since he was still only an aspirant for the leader. Many tried to oppose him, coming to the clan to spy, like the twins, but it’s not easy to go against someone so calculated and strong as Kita is.”

He took a deep breath, collecting himself. “I’ve been by his side for a long time, and I don’t regret it. But I couldn’t watch this happening again.”

Again? you thought, but the moment you two finally left the last tree behind, you came to a halt, your attention quickly diverted. You recognized the road that spread out before you, a mere ten minutes walk from your home. Slowly, the fox let go of you, waiting for you to steady yourself on your feet, but it was easy now. “What should I do now? I- I can’t go back to the house! They’ll find me again…”

Your voice was still so fragile, cracking under the pressure of emotions that tried to regain their place in your body. It wasn’t as hard to stand, breathe, or all of it at the same time as it was to get used to feeling again. It was overwhelming, but you knew better than to get lost in emotions this time. After all, you’ve been through much worse before.

“No, they won’t.”

Looking up at the fox, you had noticed him back away into the shadows of the trees as he seemed ready to leave again. It was only a few steps, but it felt like he had made the separation between your worlds clear again. “The clan moved on as Kita couldn’t stay anymore after losing you. I have to go back to them now, but they won’t come looking for you. You are dead to them.”

Nodding slowly, you took a step forward towards him again, his body language showing that he was wary as you approached. “What’s your name?” you asked out of the blue. What a stupid sentiment, but you felt like after what he did, coming all the way back to save you, remembering his name was the least you could do. He looked surprised before his expression grew nervous and hesitant, but eventually, he decided to tell you softly. “Suna. Just… Suna.”

Reaching for his hands, you crossed the barrier between worlds one last time, squeezing them. “Then, thank you, Suna.”

Time was of the essence, and you felt it was running out for you two. When you thanked him, managing to smile softly, it was almost like a stone fell off your heart, freeing you off so many things. He gave a slight nod in your direction before pulling away, and you knew it was time to go. “Farewell,” you sighed, relief spreading through you, and you turned to leave. It would be hard to go back now, remembering all that happened. Certainly, you couldn’t stay in that house for much longer, even if Suna said it was safe now. Too much had happened. Too much that you wanted to forget forever.

Way down the road, you turned around, seeing the silhouette of a small fox sitting on the curb, watching you. As you noticed it, the fox sprang up and disappeared into the woods, and you couldn’t help but be thankful, knowing he had watched over you just in case. Somehow, you’d be alright. It would be hard to manage without anyone who’d ever believe what you’ve been through, but Suna had managed to restore some of your faith in the world. Just marriage. You’d postpone that… for a long while. You definitely had enough of marrying, and maybe you’d move to the city now, just in case.

But as you looked up at the blue sky with the morning sun rising ever so slowly, you felt grateful for this chance you were given. The experience aside, you definitely felt like you had grown from it. Gained some insight into the worth of life.

You were given this second chance, and you were not going to waste it, no matter how hard it would be.

This time, you’d do better.

“You’re such a goody two-shoes,” Atsumu taunted as he approached Suna. The latter only looked back over his shoulder calmly, seeing the twins’ faces slowly creeping up to him. “It’s a shame. I really wanted her for myself.”

Giving Atsumu a nudge with his elbow, Osamu reminded his brother, “She was dead until a few minutes ago. There was nothing for you to get there but worms.”

“And now she isn’t, I wonder how!”

The bickering between the two continued while Suna turned forward again. From the hill he was standing on, he could see you disappear inside your house, locking the doors behind you. You were such a good girl, careful but kind until the end. You didn’t need to thank him, but you did, smiling at him before you left. He, too, had always appreciated the kindness of humans, even if he always had warned Kita to not interact with humans back when the two of them were still small cubs. But no matter how weak, humans could still be kind, a fascinating fact in his eyes.

There was so much you didn’t know, and perhaps, it was better that his world would no longer be part of yours. The intrigues, foul words, magic - that wasn’t for a good human like you. An eternity bound to a being like a Kitsune wasn’t what would make you happy, even if…

“Suna~ What are ya thinking about so hard? Aren’t ya coming with us? Don’t tell me you changed yer mind?” Slinging one arm around Suna’s shoulders, Suna’s train of thought was interrupted, and he sighed deeply. “Idiot,” Osamu grumbled, kicking his brother in the shin. “Have some tact and let the guy make sure she gets home safely. They’re family.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes but let go of Suna, the two walking a few steps ahead as they gave him the time to say goodbye. But they were right; there was no use lingering. Maybe Suna should have told you why you were so interesting for the kitsune. You were a rare sight as a human ancestor, after all. Knowing that you and he shared the same family tree - even if there were hundreds of years and what felt like a couple dozens of generations between you two - he couldn’t have let you die like one of the other darling wives Kita had found over the centuries. Suna had seen it too many times how he ended up hurting them as they hurt him by escaping or angering him, though arguably, the emotional wounds Kita suffered weren’t as bad as the deadly ones he inflicted. Then again, thanks to that, it gave Suna a new reason to live. No more clans or loyalty. He had something much more important now.

Family.

“Do ya think she’ll go to the city? Think I could become a city boy?” Atsumu mused, and Osamu let out a loud snort while Suna turned around to follow the two. “Only thing you’re good for would be a fur coat,” Osamu snarked, and it even brought a chuckle to Suna’s lips as Atsumu gasped loudly. They turned their attention to Suna, slowing down their steps to match him and lowering their voices as they spoke between themselves.

“Are you sure Kita won’t notice? You stole her right from under his nose, after all. He didn’t even bury her yet - luckily,” Atsumu asked, and Suna shrugged. “You don’t know it because you’re young, but the older and stronger a kitsune gets, the more they begin to forget. I’m sure he is very busy looking for a new replacement right now. He never got over this first wife of his. She truly was perfect. Kind, loyal, and loved him.”

Silent glances were exchanged between the twins as Suna revealed some of the past that he witnessed. “Her only fault was her mortality, and I guess that’s why he keeps searching.”

“Ya think he’ll ever find someone?” Osamu asked after a moment of silence. Suna shrugged again. Even he didn’t have the answers to everything.

“Who knows,” he sighed, and those were his final words on the matter. Rubbing his hands gently, he remembered the warmth of your touch, relieved that your life had been spared. All of your lives would go on, even for the younger kitsune. Their life was too long to ponder about the past. All that mattered was the future.

And Suna was glad that the past didn’t take away your future either.

Want a different ending?

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#Haikyuu!! #Haikyuu #HQ!! #yandere haikyuu #yandere!haikyuu #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

[ryozoro]

Hades Playlist - ii.

NOW PLAYING: Vampire [Dominic Fike]

cw; nothing really, very small mentions of manipulation and murder

an: SORRY FOR THE LATE UPLOAD , THINGS GOT BEHIND SCHEDULE :(

“The curious are always in some danger. If you are curious, you might never come home.” – Jennette Winterson

She couldn’t get him off her mind; ever since she met him, all her thoughts have led back to the droopy eyes and the slick back hair that seemed a lot softer than what the gel presented it as. The whole idea of her thoughts tracing back to the eldest of the Haitani’s and her heart beats mimicking each time the octave of his voice dropped with every word he spoke to her, made yn almost forget all the rules her big brother placed when it comes to men.

Why does she yearn to be in the presence of someone who would not hesitate to take her life for a laugh amongst his gang? Why does she want to run into the back allies of each street in hopes of accidentally bumping into him? Why isn’t she able to use common sense and erase the memory of him out of her head? Why does she feel like fate has strung their paths together on purpose? Why – you know what? Maybe she latched onto Ran so fast in hopes of forgetting someone else that continued to plague her mind daily. Maybe she is becoming obsessed with idea of someone not seeing her as a kid. That has to be it, right? Ran, ‘Tani-Senpai,’ shares the same interest and even wants to talk to her later as if they have been old friends. That has to be it —

“Yn!” her brother’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. “Are you okay, ya idiot?” She took note that everyone at the table was staring at her, waiting for her to answer Draken’s question. “You’ve been spacing out since we got here,” Draken frowned as he plucked a piece of food from her plate, “are you sure that nothing happened on your bike ride to the shop?”

“If you were riding to the shop, I would have gladly picked you up,” Inupi chimed in with a soft smile. “I told you to treat me like I’m another older brother.”

“Hm,” yn hummed while avoiding eye contact with the blonde man, “wanted to surprise my troll of a brother and I figured you were off because its Tuesday.”

“Ah,” Inupi gently laughed as he watched her play with her food, “you remembered my schedule?”

Of course, she remembered his schedule. Yn knew almost everything about him; from the origins of his beautiful burn mark to his favorite snack in the vending machine back at the shop, yn knew and fell in love with it all. Draken always teased her about being in love with Mikey or Hakkai since she always seemed relaxed around them, but little did he know that his little sister was in love with his best friend and business partner.

“I’m honestly shocked that you kept it the way you did,” yn side-eyed him as she raised the other hand to pick at the bandages that wrapped along the underside of her jaw, “but at the same time, I’m not that shocked considering old people love to stick to their schedules. Wouldn’t want you straining your back, Oji-chan.”

Inupi laughed – God, she loved that laugh - whole heartedly to the point he began choking on his food. Of course, sitting with their friends and family, Inupi’s contagious laugh spread amongst the others and the people around them either ignored it very well or gave them silent glares in hopes they would stop; surprise, they did not. Hell, if anything, it got worse – so much worse – to the point that Mikey, Takemichi, and Chifuyu all fell out of their chairs.

“I – what did I say that was so funny?” yn pouted as she fished her phone out of her pocket, “I just called him the old man he was.”

“That’s why, brat,” draken flicked her forehead and chuckled, “we had made a few bets on what you would say when Inupi had talked to you. Surprisingly, Mitsuya guessed you would have called him a grandpa.” Draken and the others proceeded to give Mana’s big brother 200 yen as they got up off the floor and calmed down.

“So, Yn,” Takemichi looked her in the eyes with a dopey flushed face.

“Watch it ‘ Mitchy,” Kazutora playfully warned, “don’t wanna embarrass the poor girl since she just got back.”

“What is it, crybaby,” she asked hesitantly as she scanned over his face, noting signs of mischief lurking in the corners of his smile. “It better not be something stupid, or else I’m telling Hina-san about what you did last time you came over to the shop.”

“Oi, you’re so mean – just like your brother,” Takemichi pouts and fans his hands towards you, “but it’s just a simple question, neh.”

Yn enjoyed Takemichi’s presence more than someone from an outside point of view would have thought. He always served as a hero in her eyes as he saved Mikey from the dark path he began to walk and how he constantly reminded her brother on how much his deceased lover, Sano Emma, watches over him and guides him to all the good things that happens in his life. He was an amazing guy and one that she wished had set her expectations for her taste in men, but her heart yearns for those who are completely out of her grasp.

“Just ask or else I’m calling Hina-san,” yn smirked as she brought her phone screen into view for Takemichi to see that “Hina-san <3” contact was pulled up and only one press away from being dialed.

“Oh, you bully!” Takemichi sighed dramatically, “I was just going to ask how long you have been into gilfs?” Draken choked on his drink and Pah-chin was patting his back in hopes of easing the rough coughs. Everyone at the table began to cause even more ruckus with tears of laughter as yn sat there dumbfounded.

“w-what,” she scratched her head and looked around the table in hopes of someone taking note of her clear ignorance at the word that Takemichi had claimed her to be attracted to. Since no one answered, she decided to speak on her own, “what the hell is a gilf?” Much to yn’s dismay, the table went silent for a brief second before bursting out into an even louder fit of laughter. “Well?! What the hell is it?”

“Yn, love,” Smiley spoke between hiccups and giggles, “it’s the same thing as a Dilf or Milf, but for old people.” After he finally finished his sentence, he leaned against his twin and laughed even harder.

“I-,” yn stood up and threw her dirtied napkin and spoon at the man who made the joke, “I’m not attracted to gilfs you fuckin idiot.” Yn moved behind Takemichi and put him in a headlock, “what made you even think to say that ya CD sellin’ pervert.”

“Oi,” Draken said from above her, “let ‘Mitchy go or else I’m taking you back all the way to Fukurodani and asking them to volunteer you for the summer school tutoring.” Yn dropped her arms in defeat and made her way back to her seat. “And you,” Takemichi looked up at her brother with a teary-eyed smile, “go clean your hair up before your wedding. It’s in three days and anyone can tell you pick at your split ends during your down time at work.” Draken laughed as Takemichi’s expression turned into a pout and he began punching Draken’s solid abdomen.

“Oh,” Angry stood up abruptly, “yn, could I see ya outside really quick?” Despite his rough tone, everyone knew he was asking in the kindest way possible.

“Yeah, sure,” yn got up with a pout and made her way to the exit with Angry trailing her with a hand on her mid-back. She was confused as to why they went outside at such a fast pace, but she just assumed that Angry wanted peace and quiet away from the others. “So,” yn smiled at the younger twin, “what did you – why is your face angrier than usual?” She titled her head at the man but he was quick to grab her hand and guide her towards his bike.

“Hop on,” he straddled the seat and waited for her to do the same, “don’t worry, Draken texted me to take you back to me and Nahoya-nii’s shop. So… hurry up, please.” Souta stopped her right before she got on and placed a helmet on her head, “safety first because I’ll hurt you if you get hurt,” he said as he proceeded to adjust the straps enough to keep her safe and comfortable. “Get on, Princess,” he kicked up the kick stand and took off fast out the parking spot.

“So – uh,” yn spoke aloud as they arrived at a stop light, “why did nii-chan tell ya to take me to the shop… I wasn’t done eating.” She felt her stomach rumble and she pressed her cheek to Angry’s leather cladded shoulder blade and readjusted her grip on his waist as they began moving towards the backroads to get to the Kawata’s Ramen shop.

“I’ll make you a bowl when we get there,” he relaxed his upper body so yn wasn’t laying against hard muscles, “and we left because everyone kept staring at you.”

“Psh,” yn rolled her eyes, “they were staring because I am a strong, independent woman who managed to put a MAN in a headlock like a bad bi-.”

“Enough of your ‘bad bitch’ talk, I believe you, but I promise you that was not the reason.” Angry spoke through a breathy laugh, “the cook and the table in the corner was kept looking over you. Don’t you think it was weird how when they brought our orders out and Draken said your rice was missing an egg and the cook came out and apologized himself?”

Yn pondered on the question for a bit but then shook her head gently and nuzzled inbetween the center of Angrys’s back, “no, to be honest, I thought that the cook just hates when he messes up. It can’t be that deep, yanno? Oh! Maybe they mistook me as an idol?” She felts Angry’s laugh bubble from his chest to his shoulder blades; Souta’s laugh honestly made her feel like her jokes were genuinely funny to listen to.

“Hate to break it to you,” Angry brought the bike to a gentle stop as the arrived towards the ramen shop, “but you don’t present yourself as the ideal image of the idol you probably think you are.” Yn joined Souta in the small fits of laughter as she gently punched him in his side.

“Oh, shut up,” she let out a soft breath as she hopped off and carried the helmet with her as she made her way to the employee back door. “Open up, yeah? ‘M reeeeeally hungry.”

“Already ahead of you, ya dumb brat,” Angry bumped his hip gently against yn’s and unlocked the door and pushed her inside. They placed their helmets and jackets off in the staff room and made their way towards the kitchen where she sat at bar stools and Angry started up the stove to boil a few eggs and moved to chop up some green onions. “You want beef or chicken, idiot?”

“Sheesh, souta-kun, if ya wanted to marry me – just say that,” Yn teased as she propped her head onto her two hands, “your terms of endearment have been getting sweeter and sweeter by the minute~ but! I do want chicken please, been not feelin like eating cow and pigs lately.”

“Yer annoying,” angry threw a small, chopped onion at her, “in your dreams I’d marry you. Plus, I KNOW I’m not your type. You go for mechanics with burn marked boys that work with your brother -,”

“OKAY, NOT NEEDED,” Yn pressed her face to the counter, “asshole… He’s my type, but I’m not his. He’s like, Makima and I’m Denji… please tell me you understand that because it’s the best I got.”

“I understand it, and I just want to say that that is the most tragic thing I have heard from you in a while – oh, but back to the restaurant,” Angry said as he slid a small chocolate mochi from out the freezer and towards yn on a cute, small plate, “there was a customer who went into the back the second he heard that your order was wrong. I thought it was weird because what cook comes out that frightened when they get someone’s order wrong, but then your brother texted me saying that every man there had their eyes on you as if they were in charge of watching your every move. At first, Hakkai noticed some of the men sporting a ‘Bonten’ tattoo on their wrist, so we thought maybe they were after Mikey, but then Mitsuya texted us when he went to the bathroom that he heard some of the guys saying your name. Once that was said, Draken immediately told me to take you away from there… I do have a question for you though.” Angry began whipping up the ramen in the most tasteful way and side-eyeing the young ryuguji, “did you by chance get into it with a few Bonten member’s when you first got here? Is that why you’re all bandaged up?”

“Souta,” yn felt her heartbeat pick up but remained composed, “nothing happened with what ever ‘Bonten’ members… you know how weird some gangs are…”

“I trust you, brat,” Angry’s frown deepened once he noticed that the eggs were ready to be cut and the chicken was ready to be fried, “I just don’t want to lose another family member, okay? We babies have to stick together.” With that, he paid no mind to the situation, making a small mental note to tell Draken that one of the members there probably just thought yn was pretty. “Oh,” Souta looked back at yn, “one more thing.”

“Y-yeah, of course,” yn snapped her eyes to meet his gaze, nervous that he might have picked up on the fact that she lied about not coming into contact with any members when she first arrived, “what’s up stinky?”

“Just be careful,” Angry passed her a water bottle, “don’t trust anyone who isn’t in our toman family; especially not a Bonten member. He’ll take you in, manipulate you into believing you can’t live without him, and sell you off with no cares in the world. That is, if you’re lucky enough not to be killed in the middle of the street for entertainment.” Souta turned back around to finish up the ramen.

“Yeah,” yn felt a chill go down her back, “I’ll be careful… I promise.” She honestly didn’t know how to feel, after all, she just met with the man who presented her with an unrequited love, another man who made her heart yearn to lurk into the depths of the shadows, and someone whom she considered family just told her that one of those men would lead her onto a road of misfortune. Lost in her thoughts, she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. She pulled on it and felt her stomach drop as she was greeted with two notifications.

Draken bacon >:D : You okay kid? We’re heading to the restaurant right now, ‘m sure nothing was wrong – just wanted ya to be safe. me and inupi there in a bit, the other boys are getting stuff together for our dinner tonight. don’t annoy angry too much <3

Tani-senpai <3: why did you leave so soon pretty girl? Didn’t mean to alarm you, but I sent your picture to quite a few of my juniors and underlings, delinquents if you will – just wanted them to know not to touch what isn’t theirs. N e Wayz, I have time now, do you want to call now?

Were the gods telling her to remember her caring brother’s rules on men or to listen to faint voice of curiosity that lingered in her young and ignorant mind?

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Taglist: @richiyo @haitanigigi @chifuyusprincess

ryozoro©

#tokyo revengers haitani ran x reader #tokyo revengers haitani ran #tokyo revengers haitani #tokyorev haitani ran #tokyorev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyorev haitani #haitani ran x f!reader #haitani ran #ran haitani #haitani ran x reader #haitani brothers

[rhaenyras]

EXTENDED LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH CHAPTER 139

ymir the founder fritz, aka the most powerful and compelling plot device that isayama could have ever employed in order to explain the origin of the titans, the inherent slavery of the eldian people, and also everything else wrong in the world, was emptied of all value and purpose when she was revealed to have loved her abuser and oppressor. her life-long struggle to break free from the slave mentality that was pounded into her since childhood turned out to be... totally hollow. the woman's real purpose was to keep loving the man who cut off her tongue, raped her as a child and eventually had her cannibalized by their daughters when she failed to survive a murder attempt on his person. which makes for a very pinpoint parallel with eren, tbh, but he gets a whole paragraph all to himself later. amor vincit omnia should not become a convenient fix-it trope so that stuff can magically make sense in less than 50 pages. not to mention that this makeshift “solution” doesn't account for countless plot holes, that would only make sense if ymir was an abuse survivor looking to get her agency back. and even if i was keen on excusing the sloppy writing, i still wouldn't let the whole romanticisation of rape and trauma thing slide so easily. by giving a young victim like ymir fritz romantic feelings and a blind devotion towards her rapist, isayama is basically conveying a very pitiful and toxic message, one he refuses to even dignify with a realistic explanation for the thousands of readers who couldn't make a sense of it. the way this twisted version of love seems to be universally accepted by all the characters in the last chapter, as they just shrug it off like some sort of inevitable superior force that works in mysterious ways, made me wanna gouge my eyes out and never read another word again

mikasa's arc. mikasa had the potential to be the only character in the entire manga to come out on top when all was said and done. she had openly opposed eren's idea of a genocide. she had left the scarf behind when he voiced his hatred for her. she seemed ready enough to sever the proverbial umbilical cord and move on, live a life with pride, knowing how she could have outgrown her silly, dependent, obsessive old self. she might have started out as a yandere caricature, a passive and annoying side-effect to having eren as the main character, but she could have done so much better later on. she, too, just like ymir fritz, might have broken free, if only isayama liked liberated and strong women. she had the range. she had the potential, the backstory, everything. given the chance, she could have redeemed herself. but did isayama care? nope. he just threw her to the sickos in the fandom and said “here's your little psycho doll. do what you will with her. also, she's the key to understanding the superior force that works in mysterious ways aka love aka all the nonsense i'm actually too lazy to commit to”. and so, mikasa is as inconsequential in the ending as she ever was as eren's ever-present bodyguard, if not more, because now she's even refusing to look ahead and fight. two things that she at least tried to do every so often back when eren was alive. not only she surrendered to her own mental illness, but she even saw it turned into a pretty fantasy that the readers can idealise (again, romanticisation of all the wrong things) and that she'll never be able to escape so long as she lives. what's worse, she doesn't even want to, because in this manga we love downgrading and being stuck in the past, as the worst possible versions of ourselves.

historia's pregnancy. it shouldn't even have happened in the first place, unless it was dictated by historia's explicit desire to have a child precisely when she asked for one and by that one unnamed farmer guy and nobody else. whether that was the case or not remains, to this day, still shrouded in mystery because, again, isayama didn't think of coming clean about any aspect of historia's sudden decision. the notion that she might have been raped or submitted to something she really didn't want simply for the drama of it leads to some pretty terrifying implications. i have already explained countless times how it didn't even make sense for eren to be so adamant about rejecting the 50 year plan on account of not wanting historia to be breeded like cattle, titanised, and eventually devoured by her children, if he was just... gonna let her have her way, she only had to ask him nicely. why ever would historia need eren's permission to have a child? what was she even trying to tell him in chapter 130? why did eren tell her something as pivotal as the genocide plan if the friendship between them wasn't any different from any other in the 104th? why would eren take the risk to meet her in secret and suggest that they do something as radical as fighting the mp's or running away, if all she had to do was just... ask that he let her get pregnant? i suppose that was just a bait for a very specific side of the fandom, at this point, as the extent of the entire cryptic conversation from ch. 130 was never covered, and we were probably just supposed to forget about it. I can only forgive isayama for basically baiting me into shipping erehisu because he still gave historia a decent wrap-up in the ending, she looked in control and happy enough with her new life, which is something i warmly wished for her. she seems to be in a better spot than most of her former comrades, and virtually, she is the true inheritor of eren's original (and later disowned) ideology, as she is the one who will lead eldia into the future as a free nation, whatever that may mean for them now that titan powers are no longer a thing. I'm very proud of her and generally i am happy with how things played out for her and yeah, thinking back on it with a colder mind... i wouldn't have wanted it any other way, ships be damned

wHY WAS LEVI IN A WHEELCHAIR????? like..... scars aside, he was up and about in one panel, and in the next he was disabled... that was just... idk?? weird but i suppose isayama went overboard to provide us with some residual dramatic value here

the genocide being just a red herring. APPARENTLY eren never believed that the genocide was a solid way to achieve freedom. his true intention was to antagonize himself so that his friends would be hailed as heroes, but like... why... he didn't even achieve the complete annihilation of conflict in the world by doing so? his friends might be heroes now, but they're going to spend the rest of their lives fighting for their very lives. if anything, eren sparked new conflicts and made the new order so much worse for the eldians, as they have no choice but to keep fighting, except with the same weapons as anybody else now. he basically doomed his people to a bleak future of war and possibly extinction. he killed 80% of the entire world to cause nothing but a disappointing regretful outcome, and in the end he even disowned everything he ever believed in. in comparison, zeke's euthanasia plan was some genius level shit that would have achieved the same result as eren, except with not nearly as much bloodshed.

the parasite. again, great idea, poor execution. what on earth happened to it? it was the Scientific Shit that made titans happen one moment, and then gone in the next, wrestled to death by a buff war criminal with ptsd... my disappointment is over the roof

eren himself. like, as a whole. oh, what's not to regret about the 180 eren did in the finale? witnessing a mc forsaking every relevant trait that's ever made him who he is, is simply painful on the eyes. isayama basically went and said “remember eren yaeger aka the suicidal blockhead who would sacrifice everything in order to achieve freedom? yes? well forget about him, you've got aaron yogurt now.” …... who even is this man? when he broke down and cried in front of armin, whining like a baby that he wanted mikasa to never move on from him, i legit got second-hand embarassment. I felt actual shame for the way isayama handled his characterisation. like... he is a mass murderer, ok... how can he just... kneel down and cry about his step-sister whom he never did anything to date anyway like it's nothing??? armin is right to be pissed at him but he's pissed for the wrong reasons, sadly. I don't even want to tackle the topic of eren murdering his own mother, as he basically confessed to going through life on autopilot because the founding titan just erased all his feelings, gave him superior knowledge of all things and compelled him to go with the flow of things, aka the exact opposite of what he's been preaching ever since day 1. W HAT on earth man. like i said in point #1, eren's crush on mikasa is actually very frightening too, and it leads us back to that one dark force that overpowered even ymir fritz. eren is in love with a girl who's obsessed, in denial and damaged. and what's worse, mikasa reciprocates his feelings, even though eren always overlooked her or manipulated her. ymir fritz kept misunderstanding all those red flags from the king as love, probably. this is really not a story of breaking the cursed cycle, because it seems to me that everyone has returned full circle in the end.

CONCLUSION: nothing isayama or anyone might have said in interviews or elsewhere could have prepared me for this raging shitfest. the entirety of that last chapter was farfetched to say the least, everything looked half-hearted and rushed, clumsily glued together because the real isayama died and somebody else had to ghostwrite the ending for him. I am sorry if i do sound a bit disillusioned about the whole thing and can't bring myself to be outraged either, but i've been way too invested into this manga for nearly a decade, and now it all blew up in my face, so i guess i no longer give it the power to upset me lol

#sorry for the wait guys. it's not even that great lol i just had to get some things off my chest and then forget about it #i didn't even edit lol. snk doesn't deserve my efforts #snk spoilers #snk #aot spoilers #anti aot #chapter 139 spoilers #aot #snk chapter 139