#i mean im not about that life anymore but sometimes i feel like it

[sergeantwoods]

post roba, before the 141

ghost sat. he just sat there. a shard of glass in hand, in his room that price had assigned him. he felt hollow. like someone had cut open his head and scooped out his brain. and his heart. was there. just there, serving no real purpose. it ached, beating dully.

the sound of the door opening startled ghost slightly into looking at whoever was entering. he swore he had locked the door - hadnt he learned his lesson by now? when he realized it was price, he slowly looked away and back at the glass in his hand.

price was silent for a moment before asking softly, "whats wrong?"

simon stayed quiet, then whispered hoarsely, "my hand hurts."

price snorted, gesturing to the piece of glass in his hand. "yeah, because you're holding a shard of glass."

"i know."

"so why dont you let it go?"

simons eyes strayed from the piece of glass to prices face, before turning to stare blankly in front of himself. "i dont know. ive had it for a long time."

price walked closer to ghost, yet still kept his distance. simon appreciated that. "why do you even have a shard of glass?" price mused.

simon hesitated. "...it used to something else before it broke," he paused, before adding quietly. "but now i dont know what to do, and im afraid of letting it go."

"the only way you'll feel better is if you let it go," price remarked softly. simon could feel the holes the man was staring into his head.

"i dont remember a time in my life where i didnt have it, and the pain of having it might be better than the pain of losing it," ghost responded, dipping his head to observe the glass. it had already cut into his hand, tiny drops of blood finding themselves leaving simons skin.

"if the shard of glass doesnt serve you and only causes you pain, its not worth holding onto, and the only way you can heal is if you let go." price said carefully, slowly coming to stand next to ghost.

"okay," ghost mumbled, dropping the shard. it clattered to the ground, the edges painted in red. the glass splintered at the sides.

"how do you feel?" price asked, raising a brow at the piece of glass on the floor before directing his attention back to ghost.

"weird," he grouched, then added, "and bad. and my hand is still bleeding."

price chuckled. "healing takes time. one day, you won't even remember you had a cut on your hand."

"what should i do with the glass?"

"leave it, its not your responsibility anymore."

simon paused, contemplating. "i know, but i feel bad about littering."

price smiled. "you're right, ill put it in the trash." he reached down to grab the glass, startling when simon interupted again.

"no, i'll do it." he said, as he picked the glass up again.

-

i hope u understood the hidden meaning to that

i also got this from something i saw but i wrote it in a ghost/price father/son relationship thing

the link for the original video where i found it is here !! (ignore that its a yt short, i get bored and scroll sometimes ,,, )

raaaaahjshsjdfs im going to go play dmz now !!!

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #john price #father son relationship #hidden meanings #101 #lmaooaoaoa #sarges blurbs

[xiakeponz]

I just wanted to translate a lil' bit of this book I was reading, because I didn't realise just how many poems (in the case of this book, Tang dynasty poems) have been lost to the ravages of time, and what a miracle it is that we even have a 唐诗三百首 today. Short note from me about translation approach is at the end under the cut.

唐诗寒武纪

王晓磊 (六神磊磊) 著

ISBN: 978-7-5302-2250-8

The Cambrian Age of Tang Poems by Author Wang Xiaolei (ISBN: 978-7-5302-2250-8)

Chapter 1 

Do you know how fortunate you are to be able to read Tang poems today? 

我志在删述，垂辉映千春。- 李白

My ambition is as grand as when Confucius compiled The Book of Poems, so that the radiance of my poems may shine a thousand springs from now. 

At a time 400 years ago from the present day, during the Tianqi Era (1621-1628) of the Ming Dynasty, when Eunuch Wei Zhongxian’s （魏忠贤）authority could eclipse the heavens- 

In the Haiyan district of the Zhejiang Province, there was an old man who silently shed his official’s robes, and folded them neatly. This was a set of blue robes embroidered with white pheasants, signifying that he was a fifth-rank court official. 

Outside, someone yelled, “Official Hu, why haven’t you come out yet! We’re waiting to escort you to De Zhou so you can take up your post there!”

“Take up my post?” The old gentleman gave a small smile, then muttered to himself, “Goodbye,  court politics! I have long grown weary of you. I’m going back to my hometown, and spending the rest of my years completing a very important matter- to compile the most complete set of Tang poems, so that there will no longer be any left out, so that no longer will there be any lost to the ages, so that our descendents can read them all!”

Let us remember the name of this old gentleman: Hu Zhenheng （胡震亨). 

Perhaps it is very difficult for people of the present day to understand - wasn’t he just wanting to make a compilation of poems, was that really so difficult? Did he need to really go this hard? Actually, yes. Back in that time period, it really was that difficult.  During that time, there were no publishing companies, printing factories, libraries, or convenient search engines. If you wanted to look up a poem, you’d have to pore through countless scrolls, you may even need to  trek over mountains and cross rivers just to be able to make a copy - and even after all that, you may not even have been able to make that copy. 

If Ol’ Hu slacked off, and didn’t make this Tang poetry compilation, what would have happened? The answer to that is, that the consequences would have been very dire.

At that time, Tang poetry was already starting to go extinct just like how our flora and fauna species are going into mass extinction today. According to Hu Zhenheng’s estimations, at least half of all Tang poetry had already been lost. 

Perhaps you are thinking, how the hell does poetry just go missing? As long as the poet is good enough, as long as the poem is good enough, then wouldn’t such works just be passed down through the ages, and be able to endure, that way? 

It really doesn’t work like that. 

Let me ask you a very broad question: out of all of the Tang poems, which one is the best? Perhaps many people will respond, off the top of their heads, “A night of moonlit blossoms on the river in spring” (春江花月夜“). This poem is lauded as the “a singular page eclipses the entire Tang dynasty” poem of poems, after all. Well then, who is the author of this fine poem? Many of you readers can answer, Zhang Ruoxu（张若虚）. 

This Mister Zhang has written such a great work, and has made such a great contribution to Tang Poetry. Well then, how many of his poems remain today? A hundred poems? Eighty? The answer will shock you - merely two of his poems remain today. 

The only reason “A night of moonlit blossoms on the river in spring” was able to be passed down to the present day, is really nothing more than a giant fluke. It was thanks to a very accidental opportunity, that when people in the Song dynasty were compiling a book of songs and ballads for their music bureau, they recorded this very poem by Zhang Ruoxu into the compilation, and enabled it to be passed down through the ages. 

Apart from two poems, all the other works created by Zhang Ruoxu in his lifetime, do not exist today. 

Now let me ask you another similar question: out of the pentasyllabic quatrain poems (五言绝句）in the Tang dynasty , which one is the best? Many will immediately respond, “Climbing White Stork Tower” （登鹳雀楼）. Yes, the one which everyone recited as a child - the sun sets against the mountains, the yellow river flows into the sea” (白日依山尽，黄河入海流）. Its author is recognised by most people as Wang Zhihuan (王之涣）. 

So then, how many poems has the great poet Wang Zhihuan left behind? The answer will again flabbergast you as you read it: there are only six poems left behind, the rest are all gone. 

Within a thousand years, we do not know how many lines like “the sun sets against the mountains （白日依山尽）”, and “the tides of the ocean and the moon rise in tandem （海上明月共潮生）” have been lost to the ages forever. 

The misfortunes of our friends Wang Zhihuan and Zhang Ruoxu, were not mere happenstance. 

How many poems of Li Bai （李白）have lived on to see the light of today? The most pessimistic takes say that, about one-tenth of all his poems exist today. 

This great genius has been writing poetry all his life, so estimates of his total poem count sits at around five thousand to ten thousand poems. For every ten of his poems, we may never ever be able to read eight or nine of them. 

Before passing away, Li Bai had sorted out all of the drafts and writings he had made in his lifetime, and solemnly entrusted it all to his uncle （族叔）, Li Yangbing （李阳冰）, and asked that he compile them into volumes, so that it can be passed down through generations. Li Yangbing did not fail Li Bai’s wishes, and poured his heart into compiling the Thatched Cottage Anthologies （草堂集）of which there were ten scrolls … which then subsequently got lost to the ages in the Song Dynasty. 

Now let’s talk about Du Fu （杜甫）。Essentially all the poems written by this similarly great poet before the age of forty, have been lost to the ages. How long did Du Fu live? Until age fifty-eight. That is to say, that all the poems he wrote for most of his life, were all for nothing. 

Another big shot, Wang Wei, （王维）fared no better. During the Kaiyuan era alone (713-741) he wrote hundreds if not thousands of poems. By the end, less than one-tenth of the total remained. 

There are countless other examples. The early Tang poet, Song Zhiwen（宋之问）was big-name poet who established the foundations of regulated verse poetry. He had poetry volumes circulating during the Tang Dynasty, however the circulation still ended during the Jiajing era of the Ming dynasty, and was finally lost during the Wanli era. All twenty volumes of the writings of gifted female scholar-official, Shangguan Wan’er （上官婉儿）, were entirely lost in the Song dynasty, and we only have thirty-two of her poems remaining today. 

The poetry volumes written by one of the “Elite Fours” of the early Tang dynasty, Wang Bo （王勃）,the genius who famously wrote “the hues of twilight fall in line with the solitary flight of a wild mallard （落霞与孤鹜齐飞）”, were arduously able to survive for a few hundred years, however, come the Ming dynasty, they were all completely lost all the same. 

This is like saying that the complete works of Jing Yong （金庸）were all lost to the ages, and you would only be able to glean snippets and excerpts of his original writings from the column writings of Liushen Leilei （六神磊磊）to get your hit. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry. 

The great Meng Haoran （孟浩然） can be counted as lucky. Shortly after he passed away, there were already people making compilations of his poems. Even so, many of his creations have still been lost. There is also the great Li Shangyin （李商隐）, who wrote “the silkworm spins silk even ‘til death （春蚕到死丝方尽）” and “our hearts are connected through a singular nexus (心有灵犀一点通)” , who personally compiled forty-odd scrolls of his writings, however, those have all been lost, and not a single volume remains. His poems have all been scrabbled together piece-by-piece, by those after his time. 

So, do you still think that those poems which have been lost to time, were lost purely because they were shoddy poems, of little worth, so no one wanted to remember them? Not at all. Even if they made a mark in their heyday, poems that are handed down will eventually be lost to time, all the same. 

People in the Tang dynasty have recorded, that of Li Bai’s CiFu （辞赋）poetry, the poems Dapeng Fu (大鹏赋）and Hongyou Fu （鸿猷赋）were incredibly marvelous, so much so that they even surpassed the calibre of writings of the big guardians of CiFu poetry from the previous generation, Sima Xiangru (司马相如） and Yang Xiong （杨雄）. Fortunately, we can read Dapeng Fu today, but … where is Hongyou Fu? Sorry, it’s gone, lost forever to the ravages of time. 

Translator’s note:

There are many ways to do a translation, and this one is more for the vibes than for the “literal” translation - that is not to say it is inaccurate, but as someone who has translated for years from Japanese to English, or from time to time, Chinese to English (when I feel like it lol) I thought I’d state the purpose of this translation so you can get a sense of my choices here.  I am translating this very casually and more for speed / for fun, it is a very pulling-words-off-the-top-of-my-head translation than the other kind of translation I do where I sit there for hours milling over a singular word. A partial reason for why I can do this style of translation is because the prose of the book itself is very conversational and casual (I will tangentially note, this writing style is kind of controversial with the Author’s other works that discuss poetry, as some readers view it as “low-brow”, but for me, I like it. I think it makes the content very digestible and accessible to readers who are new to poetry). This translation is for my buddies in the poetry club, who are mainly diaspora and/or can read Chinese to any extent anyway (in particular, I want to thank the funny and great @fwoopersongs, for always being here to chat poem stuff and making me interested in the lives of the poets and the context surrounding the poetry rather than just the poems themselves).  As such, I will try to remember to include the Chinese characters for people’s names, so you can read it with the correct tones. I bought this book and started reading, and thought wow, this is cool, I want to share it. A lot of the Chinese terms here I’ve only thought about and experienced in Chinese, I don’t watch Mandarin-language shows with any subtitles, and I don’t typically experience other Chinese Media in English so I am not sure what the “standard” (if any) terms in English would be - it’s for the vibes, especially the parts where I am translating literal poetry. For example, the author pulls verses from poetry here to set the tone for the start of a chapter, so the goal of my translation here to make a translation that it conveys to the reader a reason why that verse was chosen, rather than the “perfect” way 千秋, 碧落，独倚 or a word like that is translated (or, for example, everyone let’s agree on a translation of the poem title 《春江花月夜》 - pain - lol). I do not think I can do any of these poetry translations justice, as poetry translations in any language is more like a feeling of the soul that you try to fit within the available confines of another language, hoping that the reader on the other side can experience something in their own individual way through your shared humanity rather than language alone. Also, I do have a lot of commentary and notes that I wanted to make but I might do that in a different place (maybe as footnotes) at another time, I don’t want to interrupt the flow of the reader by sticking my own comments everywhere.

#Chinese Poetry #anyway wow i got to 心有灵犀一点通 and I had Instant Regret that I thought Id translate any poetry yanno wow wsl #ponz translates #i mean im not about that life anymore but sometimes i feel like it #心血来潮zuo一下 #you don't need to follow me for anything there is no consistent content on this chaotic blog #im just vibing with friends and watching dramas that catch my fancy

[13eyond13]

.

#how do people casually bring up that theyre gay at work hahahaha #asking for a friend and MAYBE because i find one of my coworkers cute and she is def of the sort of vibe where its like #i could see her being straight or gay both easily you know #anyways how do i just like float that without it being awks you know what i mean #im not one of those obvious lesbians people default to thinking im straight mostly #anyways!!! girl help i am SO BAD at showing interest and availability but #i feel like some groundwork needs to be laid before i flirt you know #and #im not interested in the game of 'oh you dont know what you are yet or youre probably straight but maybe i can change your mind' hahaha #im too old and tired for that now i just wanna meet someone #who knows for sure they like girls #not just like girls but you know... would be happy to spend the rest of their life with a girl #so i gotta find out #and we never really talk about stuff like dating or relationships so its hard to just casually mention it without it seeming forced #actually maybe this is why social media is useful sometimes you dont always have to find out by asking but #unfortunately i dont use it like at all except for shit like this anymore hmmm ooops #p

[atinyladybug-daydreams]

Advice from experience: Be VERY careful on spending money on games, especially if what you're spending money on is like, limited events and shit.

Once you're in, you're IN and it's very, very hard to get out of mostly because of guilt and not wanting to put down stuff you've spent hours grinding for.

#alt rambles #rants in tags #recently started putting down and breaking off of a game that i've been grinding on for two years #and realised how much more time i have on my hands #and how much less draining my daily life is #and that i have more energy and time to do stuff instead of spending 2-3 hours every day to grind on the game #yea i spent 2-3 sometimes 4 hours per day just playing this game on a daily basis for the last 2 years #because i spent money and a shit load of time and effort in it #so putting it down genuinely makes me feel a lot of guilt #cause i feel like its such a waste #but like idk #i got really frustrated the other day and so burned out i gave myself a few days break and hoenstly im doing so much better than before #and i actually have time to do other stuff and do more art that now im starting to like #not want to go back to playing the game anymore #lmao yea if you know me you know what game im talking about #i mean i still love the game but damn was it fucking predatory and its only gotten worse thanks to new updates imo #it was fun before and now its just endless grinding #anyways #its another reason why i dont wanna pick up playing genshit even though i really want to #cause i finally got scara (thanks friend who logs in sometimes) #cause like i know genshit will also do that to me smh #anyways idk its just been on my mind lately about how i have unhealthy relationships with a lot of video games #i think im just going to stick to games like sdv and sr that don't have event after event #so thta i can go for breaks without feeling bad or like im missing out

[autisticlee]

I started with posting about my autistic experience on twitter, reading posts on there, and interacting with people there.

then twitter got unbearable, so I moved back here and made a new account and side blogs to mirror twitter and lurk in the tags.

i've noticed a difference between autism twitter and autism tumblr from the big algorithm-controlled posts I usually see:

autism twitter makes me feel like i'm not allowed to say autism disables me or causes problems in life

while autism tumblr makes me feel like i'm not allowed to feel positively about being autistic and can only see it as a struggling disability.

the contrast makes me dizzy 😵‍💫 it's like no one wants to see the perspective of other people when we are all different. each side wants their narrative to be the told one.

#autistic #actually autistic #autism #a little criticism for both. can we not do this 😭 #twitter is always “dont use your autism as a disability/excuse for why you cant do a thing! it'll mean i wont be able to do the thing #anymore if they know i'm autistic!“ like when i asked if i can be exempt from jury duty because TALKING HARD. due to autistic #but on tumblr it's always “dont call autism a difference in brain. it's a disability and that's all it is because it ruins my life and is #so hard for me! stop trying to make it look like a positive thing!“ #and like....both????? its both?! because it depends on the person and how they see it themself and how affects THEM. not you. #its both positive thing that makes me who i am and disability that makes many things difficult. it can be both 😭 #let people describe whats best for them and dont speak for everyone! #linking this to twitter too because both sides gives me headaches lmao #lee rambles #i know people disabled by autism want their storoes told. i know people not as didabled by autism want their stories told #but we cant just do ONE and push only that narrarive. telling one doesnt discredit the other. both are equally important!!! learn to share! #help each other. dont disagree and post passive aggressive posts about each other on social medias. ugh. #i feel like im stuck between where i see it positivly while it disrupts parts of my life at the same time so i dont fit anywhere #people tell me “if you want friends then be friends with other autistics” but i dont even fit in with “my people” sometimes #if anyone else noticed or feels like this then *internet ghost hug* belonging ks difficult :(

[vazaez]

that’s not very cis of you

BYE🛌

It's complicated alright 😭💀

#a lil personal story about this now that the topic came up: #some time ago i started questioning my gender identity but i didnt like the spanish they/them pronouns on myself #they just didnt sit right lol #so i tried using gender neutral language (ig yall know spanish is one of the many languages that is VERY gendered #even fcking objects have their own 'gender' lmao) so yea if it pas possible i phrased what i said abt myself in a pronounless way #but when it was not possible to do that id use male pronouns to try how i felt with them. the thing is that every fucking time i did that #some dude in a gc i was in said 'dO u hAvE a D¡cK????' and it made me really uncomfy as if i needed it to be able to use those pronouns 🧍 #LITERALLY EVERY TIME so eventually i gave up because i thought what's the point of finding my identity if it wont be respected anyways? #so yea im resigned to be seen as the same I was born with the same i've always been and the same everyone knows me #dont get me wrong i dont always hate being a girl but sometimes it makes me curious how would it be if i wasnt #and i dont mind what pronouns ppl use with me most of the time as long as it's not with a bad intention #I've wondered if maybe i'm a she/they? idk i just gave up thinking about it #at least for now. i have my whole ass life to find out what or who i am so i don't feel there's a need to rush tbh #woah this rant got rlly long sorry lol idk if anyone will read this far 🏃 #btw it's not only about that guy but he made me constantly remember that most people at least here in latam are very closed minded #just like him so if i ended up finding an identity i was happy with it wouldnt be respected by most people irl anyways #i'm not in that gc anymore tho #i hope i was able to like explain well what i mean? i don't wanna seem like i gave up that easily just because some dude was being a jerk #it's just that i'm kind of an overthinker

[wannaremember]

.

#having a no good very bad awful week #well its not just the weeks its life in general but anyway #and yes the doom and gloom mood also has to do with pms but like still #god its so difficult to even find the point #everything is too much #and ill never have anyone #and oh my complicated feelings about my brothers successes #just everything keeps piling on and on and on #and im so terrible at even being able to cry about it or something #the being laughed at for crying when i was angry kind of ripped the crying away from me #i mean okay thats an exaggeration in that i do end up being able to cry sometimes but not like i want not the way it would help l #and i hate being so numb all the time #and i also hate being so disconnected #just idk it sucks when the only thing i even pray for anymore is [redacted] #and obviously even that prayer will be one that never comes true #because its not like anyone is even listening or anyone even cares #and i hate how utterly my faith has been destroyed because i think despite everything it was probably the only thing that kept me okay #ughhh #just had to let this out somewhere turns out it was here #will delete

[tatoasting]

Good news though, that means none of this was my fault!!

#hollow #I have spent like two weeks straight thinking I was so annoying and that I was the problem and whatever #its good to know now that no!! he was definitively the problem!! #I feel like I got fucked over more than most people in this situation too because like #he had told me that I was basically the first person he had really talked to on bumble and I believe that. it lines up well #he would talk to me all day every day for hours and hours and hours and eventually he didnt seem to have as much time to talk to me anymore #I got to know him as someone so attentive. we talked every day. long conversations where we were clearly only talking to eachother. #messages always read the moment they were sent. #and then.... not. #short conversations every couple of days. sometimes texting me and then disappearing immidiately after #always complaining... #how his life sucks. things are just so bad right now. he used to tell me why but it got really vague... #he would say he didnt want to talk about it... but he loved to complain and loved to share his misery... weird #so weird... #not to mention I have to live with him as one of my firsts for the rest of my life now. I know that doesnt have to mean anything but... #at least until theres a second this is going to feel really fucking bad and awkward!! #like !!! aha I dont want to look at my body anymore !! apparently no good person wants anything to do with it !! #but the people with intent to harm... they seem to love it... #fucking. ugh #sorry im tmi-ing but like. this is all just so much #I have to calm down before game night. I may sit outside for a bit. its nice out there today. #fucking... cant believe I invited him to a game night... the first official gamenight too.... ugh #I hope that night doesnt stay stained by him forever. #oh.... oh hold on. grounding moment. I'm being so dramatic right now. ah #okay. yesyes. I am aware. I will be okay. I will get over this. just a chapter in my life! there will be other ones #more interesting ones and nicer ones #and maybe worse ones too!! this isnt everything !! its just one thing!!

[chaotic-birds]

be with you || j.pt

Jason wakes up in the middle of the night and you're not there.

🌙 Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader (gn)

🌙 Genres/AUs: Fluff, (emotional) hurt/comfort, established relationship

🌙 Warning(s): mention of kidnapping

🌙 Word Count: 1.1k

🌙 Author's Note: I have so many Jason Todd fic ideas 😵‍💫 For now, I decided to just write this. I normally don't post such short fics, but I want to get used to doing so. Sometimes I just wanna write without thinking of intensive plots 😪 That being said, please enjoy this little fluff piece! Sometimes, we just need some fluff in our lives. Also, this is my first Jason fic after a few years so… 😬 (im a lil nervous)

masterlist

When Jason turns to his other side to pull you against him, his eyes fly open.

Your side of the bed is empty.

And cold.

Which means it’s been a while since you left.

You left.

Did you leave or did someone take you?

Jason’s distressed eyes scan the bedroom. There’s no sign of a struggle. Plus, he would at least hope he’d wake up to the commotion if something like that happened.

But if you didn’t get kidnapped, where did you go?

Worry fills his chest and his heart pumps faster at the influx of questions in his head.

All the doubt about whether he’s making you happy clouds his mind. Had he said something yesterday that had upset you? Are you not happy with him anymore? Did someone better come into your life?

Jason groans and rakes his hands through his hair, tugging roughly at the ends to feel something other than uneasiness.

His hands fall to his sides when he sees your belongings at your vanity.

That’s a good sign, right? Maybe you didn’t leave him after all.

Jason slides off the bed and heads out of the bedroom.

“Babe?” he calls.

There’s no answer.

He wanders to the bathroom. Empty.

He goes to the living room. Empty.

Finally, he goes to your home office.

You’re sat in your chair with your headset on, fingers clacking against the keyboard.

The heavyweight he had put on his shoulders instantly lifted. He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He takes three large steps before he encloses his arms around you from behind.

You yelp, jumping and hitting your head against his jaw.

He grunts at having bit the inside of his cheek in the process.

Although your arms are glued to your sides, you tilt your head and lift a hand as high as it can go to remove your headset.

“Jay?” you question. “Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet.”

He shakes his head and nuzzles his face against your neck more.

You lax in his arms, rubbing along his forearms and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Why are you awake then?” you wonder after a while.

“You weren’t in bed,” he mumbles.

“Sorry,” you murmur. “I forgot I had to finish something for work.”

“But it’s half past three. Can’t it wait?”

“Sadly, no,” you sigh.

Carefully, you try to pull apart his arms to free yourself. Jason refuses to let you do so.

“Baby,” you laugh softly when he holds you tighter. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be done in a bit.”

“No,” he grumbles.

Knowing he won’t give up, at least not easily, you nod. “Alright then. Should I bring in another chair for you?”

Jason shakes his head and finally lets go. He slides your chair back slightly and sinks to the floor in front of you.

Your legs part when he makes a home between them, wrapping his arms around your hips and resting his head on top of your thigh.

“Comfy?” you ask with a small smile, slightly amused.

He simply hums and closes his eyes.

Your gaze lingers on him before you focus on your work once more. You hurry more now, wanting to get back to bed with Jason.

A few minutes have passed when Jason speaks again.

“I-I thought you left me,” he whispers.

Your hands pause in their movement.

“Oh Jace,” you begin gently and place a hand against his cheek.

His eyes flutter open at your touch. His blue eyes are filled with worry and fear.

“I would never leave you.”

His eyes move between yours, trying to find a reason not to believe you. There’s that rotten side of him that tells him he doesn’t deserve to have company. That it’s inevitable for him to be alone.

“Unless you want me to,” you add.

He shakes his head aggressively. “Don’t say that.”

You smile softly at him. “Then it’s a done deal. You’re mine until the end of time.”

Jason cracks a small smile at your words, lifting his head.

“I like the sound of that,” he says.

Your grin grows. “I do too.”

Jason leans up, and you meet him halfway for a tender kiss.

“I’ve still got more to do. You want to go to bed now?” you ask once you pull away.

“Nope, I’m staying,” he replies, resting his head back on your leg.

His tone sounds lighter now, making your heart warm. Although you love all sides of Jason, this may be your favorite one.

Happy. Soft. Vulnerable.

After forty more minutes, you finally finish.

Jason has fallen asleep and has filled the room with his light snores. Some of his hair lays on his face, some of it slightly ruffled from sleeping in the bed earlier.

Cute.

You bring a hand to his hair, carding your fingers through his soft locks. You scratch at his scalp gently to wake him.

His eyes open, drooping and groggily.

“I’m done, let’s go to bed now,” you say.

He nods and slowly stands up from the floor. He sways a little on tired legs.

“Come on, sleepy head,” you tease lightly and grab his hand.

He lets you guide him back to the bedroom. You sit him down on the edge then gesture in the direction of the bathroom.

“I need to pee; you gonna come with me or will you stay here?” you question.

Jason frowns but nods. “If you take longer than five minutes, I’m coming in.”

You laugh and kiss the crown of his head. “If you say so.”

You know he’s being honest so you rush. Luckily, you make it in time for him not to come get you.

Jason hasn’t moved from when you left. He’s staring at the doorway, feet thumping rhythmically against the floor.

“You’re so needy tonight,” you observe and climb into bed. Jason scoots back until he’s beside you.

“I just miss you,” he sighs, pulling you against him like he originally wanted to do.

You lean back against his chest to feel him more.

“I’ve missed you too, Jay,” you reply.

There's been a rise in crime lately, which resulted in Jason being out in the field more than usual. However, it feels as if there’s a break and you and Jason are making the most of it. You’re sure he will be summoned again soon.

Jason snuggles your body more—if possible—and kisses the back of your head.

“We’re so sleeping in today,” he mumbles, a slight groan accompanying his words.

You giggle. “I can’t protest that.”

“Hm, good,” he says. “Goodnight, baby.”

Smiling, you echo, “Goodnight, Jay.”

©️chaotic-birds // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

#jason todd fanfic #jason todd fluff #jason todd hurt/comfort #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you

[hopeheartfilia]

define responsible for ones actions

no. really. please.

#responsibility #hate how i actually dont have anything resembling a concrete graps on what responsible means #you cant define responsible by syaing its taking responsibility thats using the undefined term to provide a definiton #it doesnt work. because the term ins defined. #how can a person check if they properly take responsibility for their actions? #how do you know if you change your behaviour when youre wrong? like how can you be sure #i just. it feels like the definiton of responsible i have is never making mistakes and knowing all the possible consequences of youractions #and never making an decisions that have negative consequences to you or others ever #which is obviously incorrect. but it has always felt like what my mom meant when she told me how irresponsible i am #and yes i mean. i am often late to everything. i do sometimes forget appointments #so yes i do feel irresponsible but also hearing that feels like .... and invalidation of how much effort i put into not doing that #i mean not exactly. more like the hmm. this us all because she said she would call me at 7 to take my meds #this feels extremly unplasent and babying and as if i.. am incapable of having agency or independence #but i feel like just because im not. a responsible person. doesnt mean that i shoulsnt be. allowed to deal eith my own shit #and like. when she says. that me messing up reflects badly on Her. and that she has so much stress so why cant she just do that so she wont #have to worry about it. and I just. how can i make it less your fucking problem? it shouldnt be. #youre not responsible for me or my life anymore #it feels like.. like being a kid and being told that i cant do certain things with my hair or clothes or act certain way #because it would look bad for her. thats what it feels like and it feels like shes acting as if ima five year old

[luv4fushi]

omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

#jjk x reader #jjk x you #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #megumi x you #fushiguro megumi x reader #jjk megumi #megumi fluff #not my best work tbh

[nishik1]

bittersweet \\ Nishimura Riki

synopsis: being in a relationship with Nishimura Riki was never easy, but you still made it work.

pairing: idol niki x non idol fem!reader

genre: light angst to fluff

warnings: reader is a bit mean, slight arguing, cursing,?

a/n: a short fic to make up for the lack of updates in “you jealous, nishimura” 😭 this kinda sucks so please don’t be disappointed

wc: roughly 1.4k (NOT PROOF READ)

you awoke to the sounds of knocking on your bedroom window. what the hell..? furrowing your brows as you make your way over to the window. lazily you throw open the curtains and your eyes widen for a second as you process who is waiting outside of your window.

“Riki..? what are you doing here?” you said in disbelief as you stare at the boy who stands beneath your bedroom window with his hands on his knees, hunched over as he tries to catch his breath.

“please just— let me in first—” he says breathlessly. you stare at him for a second before letting out a sigh. hesitantly, you open your window further and lean out just enough for him to grab onto your arms and pull himself up. his eyes light up when you reach to him, he immediately grabs onto your arms and comes tumbling into your room.

theres a moment of silence as you watch him sit on the floor of your bedroom, still trying to catch his breath.

“so… are you gonna tell me why you’re here or are you just gonna sit there?” you cross your arms over your chest, slight annoyance present im your tone. Riki feels his heart clench at your tone, you only ever talked to him like that when you’re angry with him.

“I came to explain myself” you let out a bitter chuckle as you narrow your eyes at him.

for context, you and Riki had a date today. In fact it was supposed to be your first date in a while since Riki’s been quite busy being an idol and all. you both had decided to go to this new restaurant which opened recently, your date was scheduled for 7:30. you had arrived on time but Riki? Riki never came at all. you had messaged him multiple times only to get no reply, hence why you were mad at him. you waited for 2 hours straight and he never showed and now he’s here in your bedroom?

“seriously, Riki? that’s all you came here to do?” he frowns at this, he could tell in your eyes that you’re annoyed and angry with him. I mean who wouldn’t be? he showed up in the middle of the night unannounced.

“I know I should’ve told you—“

“you should have just told me the moment you found out you were going to be busy!” your voice cracked slightly as you inhaled sharply before continuing

“Riki you and I barely get to spend any time together anymore and the one day we actually had plans to see each other, you flaked on me!” you said feeling more hurt than angry, the two barely got to see each other with how busy he was but today he was supposed to be free.

“I know and I’m sorry… I never wanted to flake on you but we had to do some filming today and—“

“Riki I don’t want to hear it, It’s been like this for months. we never get to see each other anymore and whenever we think we might have time you always get busy with something!”

“I know that and I’m sorry for that too but I can’t help it if my schedule changes. I’m an idol, Y/N. It’s my job and sometimes this is what idols have to do. I know I don’t have as much free time as I used to but I have to do these things, they’re important to my career!”

“what about me? am I not important?” both of your eyes widen at this and you saw hurt flash through his eyes. you didn’t mean to say it, you didn’t want to say it, it just slipped out.

“I never said that.” he grits his teeth in annoyance. though he was annoyed he was also hurt. he was hurt that you thought you didn’t matter to him, of course you matter to him, you’re his girlfriend!

“no but you implied it. Riki you never make time for me anymore!” you run your fingers through your hair, feeling frustrated with everything going on.

“god why are you like this? my whole life can’t revolve around you, this is my job Y/N!” he raises his voice slightly. you inhale sharply and you pull your gaze off of him and to the wall behind him.

“I never said it had to revolve around me. all I’m asking for is for you to just make an effort to see me.” you lower your head as you feel your tears betray you and begin well up in your eyes.

please not now. you can’t cry. not now. you think to yourself, digging your nails into your palm.

you had been feeling like this for so long, feeling as if you didn’t matter to him. at the beginning of your relationship, everything was good. you were both happy and saw each other almost everyday. well that was until the group Riki was in began to grow more and more popular. the dates which you used to have daily started to happen less and less. it went from daily, to every other day, to weekly and eventually to none at all.

it started to feel as if you were no longer relevant in his life, like you no longer mattered to him. you were angry and his words only fueled your anger more. you’ve been bottling up these feelings, trying to ignore and hide them as best as you can but its starting to become too much to bare.

“you think I don’t try? I’ve—“ thats it. this was your breaking point. his harsh words finally pushed you to your limit.

“well it doesn’t seem like you fucking try! Riki I can’t take it anymore, can’t you see how draining this is for me?” one by one hot tears began to trickle down your cheeks as you finally let out the feelings you had been keeping in for so long. his eyes immediately soften as all the anger he had towards you dissolved into guilt.

“oh Y/N… I’m so sorry.” he cups your face with his hand, gently wiping your tears as you lean into his touch. how long has he been hurting you for? how long have you felt like this? how can he make it up to you? would you even forgive him? a million questions raced through Riki’s mind as he pulled you into a tight hug, resting his chin atop your head as a few tears escaped his eyes.

“I’m sorry too… its just— i miss seeing you in person. i miss your hugs, I just miss you... i’m tired of seeing you through a screen.” his heart clenches at your words as you mumble into his chest, your breathing uneven from crying.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to make more time for you i swear. my schedules just been so packed lately, i was supposed to be free today but they needed us to—“

“its okay, you don’t have to explain— just… just stay with me.” you bury your face in his chest, hugging him as if this was the last time you’d ever be able to. your tears betrayed you as they began to drip onto his shirt.

he badly wanted to tell explain what happened and why he was unable to attend your date today but he knew that all you needed right now, was for him to stay. to stay and make up for all of the lost time you two could’ve had together, to stay and comfort you the way he should’ve before and most of all, to stay and show you that he loves you.

“I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.” you felt your heart sting at his words, but not in a bad way. in more of a “i love you so much but i’m still mad at you” way.

you shut your eyes tightly trying to prevent any more tears from falling. you’re not even fully sure if your tears are happy or sad ones perhaps both?

“I love you..” your voice is quiet but still loud enough to hear as you raise your head from his chest. teary eyes locking with his, Riki’s gaze softens at you as he brings his hand to your cheek caressing it gently.

“I love you too”

its the moments like these which remind you of why you fell in love with Nishimura Riki. with Riki, disagreements dissolve into peaceful silence and all you can feel is the comfort of resting in his embrace, where worries melt away and all that is left is love. it’s moments like these which make you fall in love with him all over again.

you think you’ll forever adore the moments like these, even if they’re bittersweet.

taglist: @rksbae @lizzyyaaaaaa @berry-and-kkami @chaewon-slays @solstramaii @infi0 @beomgyusonlywife @misoxhappy @ramenoil

#nishik1 #niki enha #riki enhypen #enhypen riki #enha niki #niki enhypen #niki fluff #enhypen nishimura riki #niki angst #kpop angst #niki x reader #ni ki x reader #ni ki enhypen #angst to comfort #enhypen angst #nishimura riki angst #riki nishimura x reader #nishimura riki #riki nishimura #niki nishimura #nishimura niki #ni ki angst #ni ki #enhypen #enhypen x reader #riki x reader #enha x reader #enha riki #enha x y/n #enha angst

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #self growth #self help tarot #daily tarot #tarot #plutonianeris #pick a card reading #pick a deck reading

[jeongheart]

good morning

summary: sometimes, it's okay to be irresponsible.

w.c: 1k~

tags: established relationship, fluff.

a.n: college is really draining the life out of me so i wrote this today after my class because i was in a bad mood and wanted nothing more than to sleep. and ugh i feel like the ending it's too rushed but my brain wasn't braining anymore im sorry if it sucks i just really wanted some comfort.

leave your thoughts if you like, it means a lot!

It was warm, everything was. The sheets covering your sleepy body, the arm around your waist, and even the environment as well, considering that the temperature outside didn't exceed three degrees.

You felt on a cloud, dancing between the consciousness of knowing that you had to get up and the world of dreams that didn't want to let you go.

You were about to close your eyes completely again, until the shrill chime of the alarm began to interrupt the silence. You wanted to ignore it, you really wanted to reach your arm over the nightstand and press "off" to be wrapped in warmth forever, but you couldn't, the responsible part of you wasn't going to let you be fooled by the hug of the bed.

With a slight grunt, you took the phone that blinded you with its strong blue light and finished with the scandal that it emitted. You left the device carelessly where it was and rubbed your eyes to wake up, the sun hadn't risen yet and your mind couldn't understand being awake when it was still dark outside. You tried to prop yourself up on your forearms and lift your lower body to sit up in the bed and begin the hard work of getting ready for the day, but Chan's arm was still wrapped tightly around your waist, his head resting on your chest, letting out little snores from time to time.

He'd been working until two hours ago, your heart sank a little when he'd gone to bed at four o'clock in the morning, he was freezing cold from the unheated room he called his study and immediately sought comfort among the thousands of blankets you insisted on putting up every winter.

You couldn't wake him up, it would be cruel of you, and besides, he had the day off, so you wanted to let him sleep and take advantage of this rare occurrence. Carefully, you took his hand in both of yours and pulled it away from your body, he didn't flinch and continued snoring like a small child. You laughed softly and shook your head, he looked like a puppy at times like this.

The hardest part of your "get up" mission was to get your partner's head off your upper half, and finally free yourself from the confines of his grasp.

You began to get up little by little, making minimal upward movements, with your arms resting firmly on the mattress. Chan must have felt the disturbance because, with a groan, he turned his head away from you. Although he didn't turn to the opposite side, he had his arms spread out in your direction, and you saw in the darkness that his hands were searching for your figure in his dreams.

Without being tempted to return to his arms, you got rid of the warm sheets that were on your body and sat on the edge of the bed, feeling for your shoes. The floor was freezing cold and you definitely didn't want to get sick from walking barefoot into the kitchen.

Once your hand made contact with your crocs, you made the attempt this time to leave the bed but, surprise, a hand took your wrist without force but with conviction: 'you are not going to leave this place'.

You turned with a smile forming on your face and saw a very sleepy and disheveled Chan blinking rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the darkness until he found your face.

"Where are you going?" He questioned hoarsely.

You laughed a little and shook your head, you approached his figure and gently removed the rebellious curls that fell into his eyes, he continued to stare at you without understanding the situation.

You gave him a kiss on both cheeks, and then a very soft one on his parted lips.

"I have class today, my love" You whispered a few inches away from his face.

Without waiting for him to respond, you stepped away to continue (well, start) your morning routine. But Chan was still clinging to your wrist like a koala.

"Don't go, stay with me" He asked as he approached you, a little more alert now.

Again, you laughed at the same time that you started to get dressed, still sitting on the bed "I can't, I don't understand anything and I have an exam coming"

When you finished putting on a hoodie Chan sat behind you, trapping your hips and legs with his and hugging you around the waist, and soon you were completely surrounded by him. You could feel his breath on your neck (because he loved to rest his head in the space between your neck and your shoulders), his hair tickling your ears, and the scent of his cologne that never went away no matter how many hours passed since he applied it.

His bare chest felt warm against your back, even with the thick garment you were wearing you could feel the heat emanating from his body. You sighed and closed your eyes, you were firmly considering throwing all your responsibilities out the window at the insistence of your boyfriend with a golden retriever complex.

Chan rubbed his cheek against your neck, murmuring "please, just for today" and "it's very cold, let's go back to sleep" And more variants that all had to do with not allowing you to leave.

You put your hands on his that were still on your waist and you nodded, careful not to hit him in the face "Okay, okay, you win this time", you were amazed at how easily you gave in to his words, but in your defense, it was very hard to say no to Chan, especially when he brought out the heavy artillery and started acting like a big teddy bear.

He let out a small cry of victory and, without waiting for any other reaction on your part, he turned you on your axis so that you return to your initial position of lying on the bed. You laughed throughout the entire process and, when you were covered by the sheets again, Chan wrapped you in a tight hug, pulling his weight onto your body again.

"You're a cheater, you did the same thing to me two weeks ago" You told him after a few minutes of silence.

Chan snorted.

"Sometimes you have to be a little irresponsible, my love"

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn't see you "If I fail you have to invite me to an all-inclusive dinner"

"You know I'd do it anyway, but it's a deal" You sighed happily at his statement.

"But I know you won't fail, because you're smart and you can do anything you set your mind to" He whispered while caressing your hair.

You smiled for the nth time that morning, feeling how the stress you've been building up for weeks lessened up a little bit after hearing those words. Just as you were about to thank him for taking care of you and your worries, Chan's breathing became more calmed as he fallen asleep again.

#stray kids fluff #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz soft thoughts #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #bri writes