If I were able to accurately express how I feel, I would just be screaming until my vocal chords would burst, all day and all night.
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I’m sorry people, I’m so burnt out and overwhelmed by life rn, I promise I’ll finish this wave of Daily Dans as soon as I’m mentally available (we have a few more skits to get through before Cool Patrol and the Prophecy are done)❤️💙
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sometimes life is just really shit and there is nothing you can do about it
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i wanna go home i want to sleep for a hundred years i want some peace and quiet
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I feel like we should be able to take the first month of the year off to process wtf happened the year before🤷🏾♀️
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When you just wanna scream over the top of a mountain
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sometimes, like 2-3 times a month I work at a cafe in the space that claims to be inclusive and I mean it mostly is, my coworkers know I'm autistic (and they still treat me as equal) I can stim freely and not really mask as much, it even has a sensory room, to calm down and all that. it's all great! BUT this place is often very overstimulating for me. everything is too bright and too loud :(
today I was very overstimulated by everything so I went to the sensory room but when I opened the door there was no sensory room it was like a normal office room?! they put away everything... so I had to find a more or less quiet place and spoiler! I haven't found any so I just hid in the back and rocked back and forth with my eyes closed and hands over my ears to calm myself down at least a little bit. then I got back to work lol
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I wish I could go into a forest and just scream as loudly as I can until my throat is raw and my lungs are burning.
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if anyone finds a way to make their brain shut the fuck up pls let me know
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People are like
"You're great" "you have a lot to offer" "you have a lot to give" etc etc
I don't offer anything. I'm just. Not. Good?
I'm not great, I'm selfish and irritated and tired and anxious. And I don't believe when people say that oh "they saw something in me" or I don't even know.... I don't know! And I'm angry and frustrated with myself. Or oh, if you apply yourself. If you give 100% if you do this and that. And it's like no. I'm trying not to lose my fucking shit every day I wake up until I go to sleep. No one has seen me angrily break down or shatter or cry. Hell, i can barely show myself because I don't allow them to, because i dont allow myself to. Even if I wanted to that shit will get shoved down because I'm not supposed to be vulnerable, I'm not supposed to have opinions, I'm not allowed to hurt, I'm not supposed to be a person.
I am in fucking anguish and yet there's a blank nonverbal mask or a smile or something that isn't me all the while there's buzzing under my skin.
There is so much more to fucking talk about but no. Not yet.
And then it's like. I love the people who I care about in my life. I love them so much and I am always so grateful to them, always.
I'm just a fucking mess who needs to be shot out back.
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