#i mean i knew this would happen but i didn't expect the very first chapters to cost coins | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neptuneiris · 7 months

Text

sparks (04/04)

But I promise you this I'll always look out for you

pairing: business-boyfriend!aemond x fem!reader

summary: at the beginning your relationship with aemond is perfect and there were no worries. until he becomes the Heir of his father's company, the most important in the whole country and certain events and certain people start to interfere in the relationship.

word count: 9.0k

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now yes, the epilogue is officially coming soon haha

hello loves! hope you are having a wonderful day!

I made an announcement about the change in the story so if for some reason you didn't read it, don't worry, here I will explain again what happened:)

the reason why I decided to add a part 4 to the fic is very simple: the chapter was too long for the epilogue and when I say too long I mean really long. and I didn't want to bore you or fill you with too much, believe me that the epilogue was exaggeratedly long:(

I'm sorry if it wasn't what you expected, but I decided the best and I really hope you like it a lot, after all it's not the end yet😚

that's all, I won't keep you any longer, enjoy!

Aemond Targaryen had never felt so miserable in his life.

The trip to Casterly Rock was one of the most important in his entire working career and yet it was the worst trip he had ever attended in his life.

His mind would not leave him alone and the urge to cry along with the anxiety and desperation he felt was too much. And it was so much that he couldn't control it.

But outside of that, he didn't care too much about the event, socializing and having conversations with other important businessmen, as if it wasn't something he did every day, nor did he attend to the press which was what he avoided the most nor did he care about Larys Strong and Alys Rivers.

He honestly didn't care about anything.

At least nothing outside of the important thing that was his meeting with his partner Jason Lannister and attending his conference with the board of directors.

He didn't care that this would later lead to 'serious consequences,' if you could call it that, with his grandsire.

Even after he caught up again with Jason Lannister and properly attended the conference with the board of directors, as soon as it was all over, he took his flight back to King's Landing in a needy and desperate manner.

And the first thing he did after landing was to look for you and try to talk to you. Although he must have known that you would not let him find you.

Your university is extremely large and although he tried to find you by asking the administration and coordination of your university for your varied schedule, they did not give him anything, as they cannot give out their students' personal and private information so openly to strangers.

They only do so on occasions that require it and are extremely necessary with hard evidence, such as to a family member of the student for an emergency or something like that.

And Aemond honestly didn't blame them, as he looked extremely desperate and like a madman, especially when they told him they couldn't give him that information.

So he went to your work, where he knew it would be easier to find you, but again… he was unsuccessful because you wouldn't let him.

"Uhm… I'm sorry, but she's not here."

Your coworker told him and judging by her face, he knew instantly that she was lying, especially by the pitiful face she was giving him amidst the assurance she wants to create by saying her words.

"Please, just tell her I need to talk to her," he tells her pleadingly, feeling like he will burst into tears at any second.

She lets out a long breath, as she looks away from his gaze for a moment, looking hesitant, nervous and even watching him with pity.

"I'm really sorry but… she hasn't presented for days now and I haven't really seen her."

"But I need to talk to her as soon as possible," he insists, sad and still with a hint of hope that he can fix this, "Do you know where I could find her after her classes and work?"

"I-I…" she starts to say nervously, biting her lips, then completely avoiding eye contact with him "I'm sorry but I don't know. Like I said, I haven't seen her, so I'm not aware of her plans after work."

He takes a deep breath, as he runs a hand through his hair and also over his face, feeling his heart beating too fast, losing patience, losing hope, feeling completely desperate and frustrated.

"Please," he begs, not knowing what else to do, "Please tell me. I really need to see her and talk to her. I'm worried."

Sophia, not knowing what else to say, can't help but feel uncomfortable and again averts her gaze from his.

"I'm sorry but I haven't seen her and I really don't know where she might be."

Aemond watches her for a few seconds without saying anything else even with his sad and desperate face, understanding perfectly that he wouldn't get anything from her about you.

He sees how she is more than willing to keep lying for you and even though he feels completely desperate and frustrated, he knows it's not her fault, so he decides not to push her too hard.

So he took a deep breath and tried to sound calmer.

"Okay, I understand, thank you," he says resignedly, "But if you see her, please tell her that I came looking for her and needed to talk to her," he tells her one last time, "Tell her to please consider it."

And Sophie nods with a sympathetic nod, still watching him with that pity.

"Sure, I will."

And he nods back.

"Thank you."

That time Aemond came out of the coffee shop completely disappointed, having the foolish hope that you would come out of hiding and stop him after the little show he gave to your coworker completely sad and desperate.

But of course, that didn't happen.

Upon returning to the apartment, nothing felt the same anymore. Aemond now all he feels now is a deep loneliness and sadness that eats him alive inside as he finds himself alone in that place, a place that was once home to him and you, where you both started a little life together as a couple.

With loneliness in his chest and in the middle of the apartment, he sees everything around him with his melancholic eye and face.

Everything now felt like a painful reminder of what he had lost.

The place is completely permeated with memories where every room and corner tells a story of his relationship with you.

The cushions on the couch where you used to cuddle and watch movies together, the kitchen island where you shared with each other your day to day separately and the kitchen where you made food or washed dishes together, laughing and talking about anything.

Aemond then goes to the bedroom, where he now sees your empty desk where there is no longer your laptop, your lamp and all those pens and markers with which you used to make notes for your classes, nor the various sheets and folders with which you used to do your projects and research.

So he understands why you decided to leave him, because even though it was never intentional and the least he wanted to do was hurt you, he still did.

Your vanity is also completely empty, where so many times you spent hours doing your makeup happy and energetic singing your favorite songs.

And other nights you would remove your makeup crying for him and because he never put a serious stop to his work by standing you up.

And as he looks at the bed, only the memories invade him more, beginning to feel his eye watering.

The two of you cuddling, him taking refuge in your arms after a stressful day at his job or you taking refuge in his arms after a stressful day at college. Also before bedtime, the two of you would talk about anything silly until you fell asleep, where the moment felt more intimate than anywhere else.

And Aemond loved those moments, as did you, where you both shared space on the comfort of your bed.

Aemond then wanting to return to the living room, he stops in the middle of the hallway looking at the door with a serious and at the same time pained expression, where he also remembers that day when you were here and he was at the entrance waiting for Cole, where everything happened.

But it's also where you both made love and showed that love to each other with that passion, with that affection and with that deep intimacy of just the two of you that was nothing ordinary or common.

You were just two people in love loving and enjoying each other with that complicity and that unique union that characterized them.

Letting out a huge breath, he then plops down on the couch, staring at a spot in the living room in silence, feeling completely alone and hopeless.

And he hates it.

He absolutely hates the feeling.

Just as he hates the feeling of emptiness in his heart that seems impossible to fill. Because he knows it can never be filled by anyone else. Only you.

And that's when Aemond starts to really break down, realization and acceptance slowly creeping into his mind, eating him alive, destroying him, leaving him with nothing.

Until it happens and in the midst of his silence and loneliness, he starts to cry without being able to help it anymore.

He hates everything, his job, his grandsire, the association with Alys Rivers, the press, absolutely everything and also himself, for letting you slip through his fingers and not doing anything more efficient from the beginning to avoid the breakup.

Because if he had, you would still be with him.

It's only until Aemond really feels miserable and like he can't breathe that he decides to call the only person who can get to him sooner, really not wanting to be alone, needing someone to be able to reassure him.

So he calls the one person he thinks might be able to help him and reassure him.

He would have called you, of that there is no doubt, you would be his first choice, but you have blocked him from everywhere, from every social media, calls and messages.

He would have called Hel too, but she's in Highgarden, Hells, he would have even called Aegon, but he's in Storm Ends.

"Yes, Aemond?"

Rhaenyra Targaryen answers on the other end of the call, and Aemond really can't formulate coherent sentences for every sob.

He tells her your name, that he can't find you, that you've blocked him from everywhere, he mentions his grandsire, the company, loneliness, sadness and that it all happened too fast, that he needs her and doesn't know what to do.

And soon after that Aemond says he doesn't want to be there anymore, so they both leave the apartment and with every step he takes away from the place that used to be a home for him, he feels an increasingly heavier weight than before in his heart.

Soon Rhaenyra arrives at the apartment to help her half brother, not asking him anything about what has him like this while he continues to cry and holds her hand tightly.

Rather Rhaenyra tries to reassure him by telling him that she is there for him.

It is only a matter of time before his entire family knows of his breakup with you, instantly Hel calling him, as does Aegon, Hel being the more surprised and incredulous of the two, wanting to know what has happened.

Since Aemond has no vacation and can't afford to miss work with a few extremely important and one hundred percent justifiable exceptions, he soon finds himself setting foot inside the building.

Though they both know, as does their whole family, that it was because of their grandsire and everything to do with the company, also because of Alys Rivers.

And they are not surprised when Aemond implies he had something to do with it, not saying anything else, clearly because he doesn't want to talk about it.

All his workers notice the down and serious mood of the next boss, as it is also noticeable that he doesn't want to talk to anyone and doesn't want anyone to talk to him more than necessary, so he just locks himself in his office to continue with his work.

But as soon as he starts his work day, inevitably having that hope by looking at his phone screen from time to time that you will call or text him, Eleanor calls him and warns him that he has a meeting in ten minutes with his grandsire.

This makes his mood worse, even though he knew it would only be a matter of time, but he reluctantly gets up and heads for the conference room.

And the moment Otto enters the room, clearly with his annoyed and frustrated face, the whole place fills with tension. And when Otto makes it clear to him that he is not happy at all, still Aemond maintains an emotionless and indifferent face.

"I can't believe how irresponsible you're being, truly."

Otto begins to say with incredulous surprise and a frown on his face, watching him completely annoyed.

"I asked you for one, just one thing on your trip to Casterly Rock."

"The only important thing on that trip was to attend my meeting with Jason Lannister and also the conference with the board of directors, in both of which I did perfectly well," Aemond says still completely indifferent.

"Don't you want to play dumb with me, Aemond," he warns him through his teeth, "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"Look, I'm not in the mood for this right now—

"And you think I am?" he inquires instantly, "You think I'm not tired of telling you the same old thing over and over again?" he says annoyed, "Wasn't I clear with you when I told you I didn't want Rivers to cause a scene for me again because of you and what's the first thing she does when she comes back from that trip?"

"For fuck's sake, you close your fucking contract with her!"

Explodes Aemond annoyed against him without being able to control himself anymore, tired and annoyed of him, but of course Otto also responds in the same way.

"No, this is your job! She wants you, not me! And now that you're finally done with Y/N, you can do something about it, something more than necessary, but you do nothing!"

Then again something inside Aemond snaps at the mention of your name and the breakup, leaving him completely silent and watching his grandsire with his parted lips.

Everything in his mind is still fresh, his emotions are still running high and that he has mentioned the breakup as a good thing so that he can finally whore himself out to Alys without any guilt and restraint, as his grandsire has asked him to do, only makes his gaze turn dark and one of complete anger towards him.

And Otto, as he is looking him straight in the eye, notices that change within him and in his gaze, but he doesn't move, doesn't flinch, and continues firm.

"So you know."

Aemond says in a low but firm tone, watching him intently and without even blinking, even with that dark and determined look, making Otto watch him silently for a moment, then swallowing hard and finally speaking.

"Of course I know. Just because I'm not home much, doesn't mean I'm not informed of what's going on with my family."

"And you're happy now?"

He inquires him really without much emotion, with an incredibly calm and soft tone of voice that surprises Otto, while now Aemond's gaze reflects the slight pain, watching him completely attentively, being strong and as much as he can in front of him, clenching his jaw.

And Otto says nothing, just watches him, which Aemond considers him a coward, as what he wanted so badly has finally happened and he says nothing.

"I bet you do," he answers her question for him, watching him bitterly.

Otto lets out a long breath.

"Look, I know you cared about her, and I feel sorry for you, but the company—

"No, that's not true, you don't feel the slightest bit sorry for me," he interrupts him with a disinterested tone, "She broke up with me because of you, but also because of me. And I'm sure when you found out, you were so pleased and had more hope that I would finally do something about Rivers and the association," he says dispassionately.

"Aemond, I'm just asking you to be professional and fulfill your obligations as heir to this company. I'm asking you because I care about you and because you can't get stuck thinking about a girl, instead of your job, your company."

"Don't mention her," he tells her instantly serious and with a threatening tone and look, "I don't want you to talk about her, ever again."

Otto lets out a long breath.

"Rivers has given us a warning and a deadline for you to convince her to sign those papers. She's already upset and unpleasant enough thanks to you," he tells him seriously, "This whole process has gone on long enough, so either you act now or we lose her forever. And we're not going to have the conversation again about why it's important to partner with her company, are we?"

Aemond looks away from him, completely pissed off and annoyed, and then gets up from the swivel chair, intending to finally get the fuck out of here.

"I'm talking to you."

Otto tells him in a higher tone of voice, watching him seriously.

"Yes and I've heard enough."

"You will do as I have told you and you will do it now," he warns him.

Aemond scowls at him, then puts on an annoyed and more threatening face than before, placing his hands on the very expensive refined wooden table then leaning towards him as well with his threatening posture.

"You're not going to order me around anymore."

"Aemond, do you really want to force me to do something I don't really want to?"

"Don't worry, I know you really do want to and I honestly don't care. But believe me it wouldn't be good for you, after all… I remind you that you're forgetting your place."

The fight and silence builds the tension further, as Otto and Aemond stare menacingly and defiantly at each other, each with their differences being more than clear, when suddenly the door to the conferences bursts open.

This breaks all the tension and also draws the attention of both of them, who look towards the door and under the doorway stands Rhaenyra, whom Otto observes slightly surprised and completely confused.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says as she places a soft smile, "I hope it's not something important."

Aemond turns his gaze back to his grandsire for a moment with his jaw clenched, who continues to stare at Rhaenyra confused and this time with a questioning look, showing his annoyance at the sight of her.

"No, we were done," Aemond makes clear, his voice in a serious and low tone, to turn his gaze back to her.

"And what are you doing here?"

Otto inquires Rhaenyra, who is not surprised by his attitude towards her, as she is used to it and doesn't really care.

"I came to speak with Aemond," she says then turns her gaze to her half-brother, "Your secretary told me you were here and I thought maybe you could talk to me, if you're not busy."

He nods in her direction.

"Sure," and she nods back, waiting for him as well.

But Aemond turns his gaze to his grandsire, who also looks back at him, confused and questioning to see that in his gaze he still intends to fight him with his threatening posture.

Again they both stare at each other, where Otto stares at him completely serious without saying anything and Aemond continues threatening, completely serious.

"If you pay someone to notify all the press and all the media anonymously of my breakup with Y/N or tell only Rivers to take advantage of me, believe me I will publicly announce and tarnish your image about how you tried to whore me out to Rivers with proof."

He threatens and Otto gasps for a moment.

"And i will tell worse, that she was also seeking an intimate relationship with me, a woman who has almost my twenty years on me."

And without saying anything else, Aemond leaves the room together with Rhaenyra without waiting and without hearing any answer back from his grandsire, for the first time in a long time having won the fight and leaving him completely speechless.

"What? You thought I didn't know?" he asks, "She doesn't say her age and she doesn't look nearly forty, but she is, so we don't want any of that, do we?"

He observes him expectantly,

"It will be a disastrous scandal. And it won't be good for her, nor for you and the company. I also know it won't be good for me, my mother, my siblings or my entire family. But I will do it if you leave me no choice and I won't give a fuck, because it will all have been your fault," he makes it clear.

At that moment he feels liberated and empowered, as he has finally left him in his place and has not done what he always ordered her to do, while he experiences a sense of relief and renewed self-confidence.

But unfortunately, that feeling doesn't last forever. Or at least it doesn't last once he's outside the company walls.

And that's because he's still thinking and longing for you.

He tried a few more times to try to find you, asking all the people he and you have in common where you might be or where you live now saying he needed to talk to you, but no one would give him an answer, making him miserable.

Even at work, he couldn't concentrate, because all the time he was thinking about you and if he could do his work, it was all thanks to Eleonor, who would notice his tired face and the bags under his eyes, as well as notice how hard he was trying.

She would see him drinking coffee more than usual and it worried her, but knowing how stubborn he is, she knew there was nothing she could do.

And once he got home, no one knew the sadness and loneliness that consumed him completely.

Even sometimes when he couldn't sleep, he kept looking at the selfie of you and him on his phone screen that he hasn't taken down, both of you smiling and more than happy, instantly feeling the pain in his chest and the tears about to run down his cheek.

It's going on a month since you decided to end the relationship but Aemond is still haunted by the moments you both shared and the 'what ifs' that haunt his mind.

Every day, the pain of the breakup seems to increase rather than decrease. At every moment of distraction, also at work or doing the most ordinary thing in life, like making a coffee, Aemond gets lost in his thoughts, remembering you.

And in every memory, he blames himself for what had gone wrong, thinking of all the ways he could have acted differently and done more for both of you, for you.

And he couldn't accept that he would simply never see you again, that it was all over, he needs you and he needs you so badly every time he starts crying and blaming himself at the same time.

He feels completely trapped in the memory of what the relationship was and feels unable to get over you, the woman who had and still means everything to him.

It is not until Rhaenyra and her mother began to notice Aemond's instability and begin to worry about him that even Helaena decides to fly to King's Landing to be there for him, reporting everything to Aegon.

And fortunately Aemond doesn't push her away when she visits him by surprise, telling him that she has come to stay with him as long as necessary.

And he hugs her tightly and cries on her shoulder, asking her not to leave him alone, to please help him recover you, that he needs you, that he understands that everything was his fault but that he deserves at least one more conversation with you.

The people Aemond cares about are there for him, even Rhaenyra, but Helaena is the one who is almost all the time with him at home and also at the company, running the Highgarden company from there, helping him heal at the same time.

Unfortunately you never responded to Helaena's messages, neither to Baela's.

So even though it hurts Helaena to see her brother like this, she knows that you are hurt too, she knows your reasons why you did what you did and she doesn't blame you for it.

But Aemond can't.

And though he doesn't know it and doesn't even think about it, you are just as or worse off than he is, trying just as hard as he is to cope with the breakup, barely being functional in your day to day life and in having enough energy, being completely broken inside.

He is still immensely in love with you and every day that goes by and he doesn't see you or hear from you, it's complete torture.

He even stopped being seen in public and stopped attending events, focusing entirely on the company and nothing else.

It's not until another full month passes that one day, when Aemond wakes up to find Helaena in the kitchen with her face completely pale, her eyes wide open and her lips parted with her phone in hand, she gives him the news that he knew would happen someday but still takes him by surprise.

His father has died.

And he knows what that means, everyone knows.

He is the successor and literally overnight, he is now the boss, officially. And with that begins the real chaos for Aemond Targaryen.

It was a moment he was looking forward to but at the same time not because of the great responsibility that would fall on him, all the great weight.

But first of all, the whole Targaryen family is busy with a funeral and taking an indefinite rest, all of them and him especially hiding from the press and everyone.

1 month later

"So…

Speaks the calculated voice of Alys Rivers with a condescending tone, looking expectantly at Otto Hightower in front of her as she slowly turns in the swivel chair she is sitting in, having her uncle Larys Strong next to her, who in comparison to her is calmer.

"He won't show up?"

She inquires as she fiddles with the pen in her hand, twirling it between her fingers with her perfectly painted dark scarlet fingernails, raising an eyebrow in Otto's direction.

"Of course he will, he knows how important this is to us," he tells her immediately, "It's just that with the death of his father, he and his siblings still need a little more time. It's been very recent still."

"We still mourn the death of Viserys Targaryen," Larys Strong says in a soft tone and Otto nods in his direction.

But Alys is not at all pleased, for months now.

"We've been waiting for almost fifteen minutes."

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry, honestly—

The door suddenly opens, interrupting Otto and drawing the attention of the three in the conference room who turn their heads and see Aemond entering the room unhurriedly and calmly.

"Sorry for the delay," he says as he approaches his place, "I was taking an important call."

Rivers instantly looks at him in a penetrating manner as she continues to fiddle with the pen in her fingers, while his grandsire watches him seriously.

"More important than this?" hisses Otto quietly through his teeth.

And still not caring, he takes a seat to adopt an equally nonchalant posture, looking even annoyed that he has to be in this room with these people, causing Rivers stress and frustration, as well as his grandsire for his attitude and lack of interest.

"Yes."

Aemond replies to him without dissimulation and without caring.

"I don't think you have understood the gravity of the matter, Mrs. Targaryen," Alys Rivers speaks, catching the attention of the three, looking directly at him, "I gave you a deadline to sign the association papers and you still haven't given me one good reason why my company should be associated with yours."

Aemond shrugs, observing her indifferently.

"That my company is the most important, innovative and efficient in the entire country is not reason enough for you?"

"That's not what I meant."

"We're talking about business and what's in the best interest of our companies, aren't we?"

Rivers clenches her jaw.

"I think you know perfectly well that a partnership requires more than that, it's also about building interpersonal relationships."

"As far as I know, you are a co-owner of Riverlands Group and the one who actually founded the company was you, Larys Strong," he observes the man, "You shouldn't decide if you want to sign these papers or not?"

Otto throws daggers at him with his eyes and an utterly deadly stare, but Aemond doesn't even notice, as well as Rivers starts to get annoyed. So before Larys Strong can speak, she speaks first.

"We both work as a team and make decisions together," she tells him instantly, wanting to make it clear.

"You seem to make all the decisions."

"Aemond—

"As far as I know, it's not in your best interest to lose this opportunity to be able to partner with my company," Rivers speaks with a firmer, more serious and determined tone, "And I've been very patient and accessible for months now."

"Also as far as I know, months ago we attended an event together and it was you who announced how proud you were to have a partnership between us in process to everyone, yet you are the one who hasn't signed the papers, so what exactly is it that you need or want from me or the company for you to sign them?"

He dares in asking with a challenging tone and look, watching her completely intently, wanting to know how bold she is, pushing her a little to say or not to say what she really wants from him.

As Otto hides in his chair and holds a hand to his face, not being able to believe this is really happening.

And Rivers looks completely serious and annoyed at Aemond, who starts to look amused by his lack of response. So the next thing he does is point to the contracts on the table in front of him, extending them to both of them.

"So… do we have a deal or not?"

He inquires, not wanting to waste any more time and wanting to get this over with once and for all, watching them expectantly.

Strong and Rivers exchange a glance, where Rivers still has his serious and annoyed look, but also has something else on his mind after fully analyzing this new Aemond now that he is he boss.

So he silently nods in his uncle's direction, making Strong extend his hand to place the papers in front of him to sign them.

But just as his fingertips touch the paper, Aemond abruptly puts them back in front of him, leaving them out of his reach, drawing the attention of all three instantly and more so of his grandsire who already feels completely relieved after so much.

But Aemond's attitude is alarming just then.

"Before you sign, I need to tell you something important."

All three of them frown, especially his grandsire.

"And it can't be after the two finally sign?" he inquires without having the patience for any more of this.

Aemond lets out a long breath, looking at his grandfather and then Rivers directly, wanting to be completely clear with his words.

"I want you to know that in another occasion I would have really appreciated having the opportunity to work with you and partner with your company, I really would," he tells her honestly, "But you never acted the right way, neither did you," he turns to his grandsire to focus back on Rivers, pausing slightly, "So I don't need this association anymore."

Surprise and disbelief completely takes over the three of them, but more so on Rivers and Otto, who exchange confused and puzzled looks.

"Aemond, what are you saying?" his grandsire inquires.

"I'm saying that I don't care and I'm not going to do what you tell me anymore nor am I going to let people like you intrude into my personal life," he then tells Rivers with determination.

Rivers looks at him completely offended.

"Me intruding in your personal life? What are you talking about?"

"I think you know perfectly well what i'm talking about, so since you have nothing more to do here, I'm sorry for wasting too much of your time, but you can go now."

His grandsire looks at him in complete surprise and disbelief.

"Aemond—

"If you think I'm going to sit here and allow this treatment of me by you, you are very wrong, I will not tolerate it for another second," Rivers says, getting up from her chair, annoyed and offended, "You need me but this is your loss. Let's see how long it takes before your company goes bankrupt and you lose everything."

Aemond lets out a bitter laugh.

"No, in fact I don't need you," he makes it clear, amused, "And if I needed you, believe me I wouldn't have partnered with you even as my last option," he tells him decisively, "Do you think you're the only company that has partnerships with Essos? Not only you, but also Rodrik Greyjoy, the owner of the Pike company in the Iron Islands, my new partner".

He says and Otto Hightower looks on in complete surprise, not expecting that at all. And this only causes more anger and indignation in Alys Rivers.

"You're going to regret this," Rivers tells him humiliated and annoyed as she grabs her purse and then heads for the exit with big strides, "And my company is never going to be associated with yours, ever!"

"Have a nice day."

Aemond tells her not forgetting his manners and the doors slam shut with a loud slam that still doesn't completely flinch, then looks at his grandfather who looks like he's going to explode at any moment.

"You can leave too," he tells her nonchalantly, rising from his seat, "I've had enough of this shit. I expect your resignation by tomorrow at the latest."

"My resignation?" he repeats, completely bewildered and surprised.

"Yes, your resignation," he affirms him" "Rhaenyra will now take your place while Daemon is left running Dragonstone."

"W-what…? Aemond, you can't do this! I helped you, I supported you, I broke my back for you, I made you what you are now and I put you where you are!"

"Actually yes I can and in fact I already have," he says dispassionately, heading for the exit, "I'm the boss now."

And even hearing their protests and shouts, he leaves the room with him following, causing a huge scene, but once he makes his way to his office, he slams the door in his face and asks Cole to take him out of here immediately and he instantly complies with his order.

And when Aemond sits in his chair, he lets out a long sigh and closes his eye as he drops his head completely on the backrest, no longer feeling that weight on his shoulders and that tension he felt every day all over his body, finally feeling free, relieved and at peace.

It honestly feels good, after so long.

And he sees the positives of him finally being the boss, as he can now do these kinds of things, things he couldn't do before and finally give him that needed balance to his life and work.

But as soon as he leaves his work space and gets home, he again feels that emptiness in his chest and that sadness, not feeling full and like him, knowing full well that you are missing for his life to finally be perfect.

He wishes he could have done all this with you by his side. He still wants to fix everything between him and you, but you being off his radar, it's just impossible.

And he still loves you too much to use money to try to find out where you are, knowing he couldn't do that to you, the woman he still loves with every fiber of his body and heart.

He still misses you, very much. He wants to have one more reason to be this new person he has become, a better person really.

But he respects your decision, even though he still thinks he deserved more.

That same day he sends a message to Helaena asking her when she will come to King's Landing and if she wants to stay with him at his house and that same day at night he receives a message from Floris Baratheon, a friend he and you have in common, finally things being in his favor.

The moment he so deserved arrives when Floris invites him to a pub in the center of the city to celebrate his birthday. And since he knows you and Floris are close friends, he knows you'll be there.

You thank the driver for dropping you off at your destination after paying him, then you get out of the car, close the door and head towards the entrance of the pub that Floris has chosen to celebrate his birthday.

Today you don't know what's wrong with you, as you suddenly have a very positive mood and attitude that hasn't been seen in you for months, clearly since what happened that day.

But today you have all the willingness to have fun, celebrate with Floris, have a couple of drinks and see what else the night takes you to, you really need it.

So you open the door of the pub to enter, instantly ringing that typical bell that announces a new customer, which draws the attention of some people already inside the place, but you focus on finding Floris and his friends at all the scattered tables.

"Y/N!"

Suddenly someone shouts your name and you turn your head, seeing that it's Floris, calling you from the table they are at and you start to smile, about to head towards all of them, when suddenly, your gaze crosses with a blue eye that you know all too well among all the people at the table.

A blue eye you haven't seen for months.

And your whole world around you fades away.

You freeze completely and a shiver runs down your entire back as you stare at him in shock, attentively and with your lips parted, definitely not expecting to see him, at all.

Your heart starts pounding, your legs turn to jelly and your throat goes dry. You don't know what to do, let alone what to say, you just can't speak or react, nothing.

You don't feel any more that mood of before, that disposition and that attitude, you simply feel like a little girl who wants to hide behind her mother's legs.

The memories of the relationship, the happy moments, the painful moments, everything you went through together comes back to you in an instant. Just as you remember that day, when it all ended, feeling sick to your stomach, suddenly no longer feeling strength in your whole body.

You feel completely trapped in a sea of emotions flooding your mind. The feelings that you had tried to suppress for months, now overwhelm you.

But not only does your whole history with him come back to you, you are also affected by seeing him again physically after so many months because you had not even seen him through a photo on the social media after the breakup.

And to see him now after the passing of his father and that he is now the owner of the most important company in the country, is just more of a surprise for you.

You try not to let the surprise be so noticeable on your face, although you probably already failed at it, seeing now his gorgeous short platinum hair, giving him a completely different air and look, although not in a bad way.

So you assume that those are the reasons why now he has changed. You can't say the same for yourself as he has really changed, physically.

You had never imagined an Aemond with his hair cut short, you never thought about it and now seeing it… it makes you feel a sensation all over your body that you really can't explain.

He looks more… mature and like… an expert in business, which is what he really is. He looks even younger for his age, also more handsome. He looks like a big businessman.

Unable to help yourself, you still can't move, just standing there, clearly affected after seeing your ex-boyfriend again, who Floris immediately jumps to your rescue, while at the same time you see how Aemond says something under his breath to Liam, a friend of his and also yours, to then get up and head towards the bathroom without looking any further in your direction.

You follow him with your gaze, swallowing hard and starting to tremble, while Floris stops in front of you with a small reassuring smile.

"Hey, I'm so happy you came."

She hugs you and you let her, as you really need it and she knows you need it too.

"Easy," she murmurs comfortingly in your ear, "You've got this, take a deep breath."

You blink, as if to clear your thoughts that way, then drop your head defeatedly on her shoulder, inhaling deeply, as she has told you to.

"I'm sorry," she tells you with some pity, feeling your body tense, "The guys mentioned it to him but he said I still wouldn't tell him anything, so in order not to make him feel bad, I decided to invite him too," she tells you sadly.

"No, no, it's okay."

You tell her instantly, turning away to watch her, seeing Floris as your eyes are full of emotions and with effort, you try to nod and understand her, although you really do, since after all, Floris is not only your friend, she is also his friend and you can't blame her, you would never do that.

"I-I… I… I know, I just… I didn't expect it," you confess, trying to compose yourself.

At least he's out of your sight now and that helps a little but still, you know he'll be back soon.

Floris takes your hands gently, offering you his physical support that she hoped would be enough for you in comforting you.

"I know it's all still very fresh in your mind, so if you need to leave, that's fine with me, I'll understand perfectly, don't worry."

"No, no, I mean, yes, it all still feels very fresh but…" you let out a long breath, "Sooner or later it was bound to happen, you know? And it's your birthday!" you exclaim out of nerves, "I-I can't just leave, I-I…" you bite your lips, "Happy birthday, by the way."

Floris smiles.

"Thank you bestie."

You smile back as best you can, still feeling your mind working at full speed, your body feels it more tense than usual and you unconsciously keep on the lookout for him, because he might come back at any second.

You give her the gift you bought for her, then she gives a few words of motivation and finally she leads you with almost everyone to the table.

You greet old friends and also meet other friends of Floris, trying to look calm and relaxed at all times, when in reality, inside you are a bundle of nerves and not calm at all, not at all.

You can see that all your friends… and Aemond's friends too, know that he and you are no longer together, which causes you some discomfort, but for Floris, you decide to face it, him too.

"At any point in the evening you can leave if you need to, really," she reassures you again before you take a seat and you nod in her direction, understanding.

Meanwhile Aemond in the bathroom leans fully into the sink as he breathes through his mouth and closes his eye for a moment, trying to calm himself, letting a sigh escape his lips.

He honestly doesn't understand what has happened to him.

He thought he could, that this is all he's ever wanted so he could have you back with him, but… when he barely laid his eye on you the moment you walked into the place with five meters in front of him, he felt like he was going back to the past.

For all these months, even yesterday, I was waiting for this moment. He was waiting to see you again, to try to talk to you, to try to get you back and now?

He just felt like a scared little boy.

His heart broke into pieces again as he remembered that day, when you decided to break up with him.

And how he felt at that moment, besides the weeks after when he tried to look for you and you wouldn't let him and blocked him from everywhere, he relived it again, feeling every emotion, remembering every tear he shed and all the other pressures he had on him because of his grandsire.

Not to mention the death of his father and his promotion in the company, all in a matter of days, making everything worse.

And although everything is totally different now, he still recognizes that he did not prepare for this moment.

Everything still hurts him, he no longer feels capable, he feels that you will break his heart again, although no more than he broke yours, where he did nothing about it, he only asked for forgiveness, as if that was enough.

Aemond looks at his reflection and tells himself that he must keep calm, keep his posture and not make this any more uncomfortable than it already will be.

But at all times he has this longing in his heart to be able to get you back.

While you now find yourself sitting, having a place at the big table, basically at the other end, away from where he is sitting, trying to calm yourself down from now on, although it is costing you a lot.

And not a moment too soon, Floris places a beer in your hand, murmuring in your ear that your mind needs to stop thinking and worrying too much.

And just as you take a sip, Aemond returns.

You try not to look at him too much, just the same way he tries not to look at you too much as he takes a seat next to Liam again, but unconsciously it's impossible.

The table by the others is full of laughter, while the pub is full of music, with a party atmosphere that really contrasts with your whirlwind of emotions and also with his.

Even though you don't want to, yet when he doesn't notice, you watch him. And this frustrates you. You want to enjoy Floris' birthday, but you can't help the tension you emanate along with him even though they are extreme to extreme.

Every time his gaze meets yours, you avert yours to the other side, nervous and alert, telling yourself that you can't let this disturb you for the entire time you'll be here.

"We're just here to celebrate Floris."

You repeat to yourself in your mind constantly.

On the other side, Aemond's mind doesn't stop spinning. Every time his eye meets yours, he feels a knot in his stomach and in order not to feel too much, he takes a sip of his beer as well and tries to appear unconcerned.

You both feel completely vulnerable, you don't want to make the atmosphere more tense and uncomfortable, so you make an effort to think about Floris and his friends.

You try to distract yourself by talking to other friends, talking to Floris and observing the whole place, but Aemond is always on your mind.

And even though you shouldn't, you ask yourself inevitable questions, unable to control it.

How is he doing?

How is he coping with the fact that he is now the boss?

Did he suffer a lot because of his father's death?

Must he hate me for ending things with him like that?

Did the association with Alys Rivers' company happen?

You let out a long breath, hating your mind at that moment, but you also inevitably begin to answer those questions with assumptions.

You assume he must be fine, since he's here, which surprises you since he didn't have time for almost anything before, so his new position at the company must give him a little more free time, although you don't really know.

You think about whether he must hate you for breaking his heart in such a cruel way, taking advantage of the fact that he had to leave to get on his plane and you guess he must still be seeing Rivers, even the breakup probably made things easier.

You bite the inside of your cheek and scold yourself, since you don't really know anything and take a long swig from your beer bottle, having had enough of you.

Aemond, on his own, in his mind was trying to find a reason or a good excuse to approach you, but he couldn't find the right moment. He wished the words would flow naturally, but every time he imagined a conversation, he felt blocked and unable to utter a word.

As the night progresses, the tension between the two persists, but fortunately it also becomes a little more bearable.

Although you have not spoken and have only exchanged glances, you had taken an important step in facing the past in that same place. But although the purpose was to have fun, neither he nor you did, it was impossible and you just sat in your places for Floris, nothing else.

Luckily everyone else didn't feel uncomfortable or tense because of you two, as little by little the table fills up with more drinks, the guys and he also smoke, the music helps and most of them are getting drunk, except him and you.

Until the hours go by, it's a little past midnight and already some people are starting to leave, Floris' night of celebration slowly coming to an end.

When only Floris, Liam, Sarah, Jenna, him and you are left, therefore, Floris considers the night over. And that's your cue to leave, so you say goodbye to her and everyone except him, taking the opportunity to leave the pub as you see him busy asking for a cigarette.

As you leave the pub, you lean against the wall with your phone in hand and the Uber app on the screen, waiting for a driver to accept your ride, but it keeps asking you to wait every long minute, making you feel desperate and worried.

You know it's only a matter of time before they and he come out and see you here and that's what you don't want.

But luck in that regard is not in your favor.

After continuing to wait for five more long minutes, you grunt under your breath in frustration as the application doesn't tell you anything, besides it's too much to ask for but you don't blame that either as you recognize that your dorm is far from here and you also take the time into consideration.

When then, Floris and all of them leave the pub, instantly her and also him noticing you.

Floris instantly turns to you and you give her a tired and distressed look.

"What's wrong?" she asks you in a low voice.

You bite your lips as you stare at your phone in frustration and answer her in a low voice as well.

"No driver accepts my ride. I don't know what to do."

"Well, Aemond has offered to drive us," she tells you with some caution and even in a low voice, "I'm sure he'll have no problem driving you too."

And here's just what you didn't want.

"No, I-I…" you let out a long breath, "Maybe I should try another app or walk a little further."

"Have you lost your mind?" she reproaches you in a whisper.

"I'm not going to ask him to drive me too," you clarify, frustrated and sad, "I've had enough."

"Come on, Y/N. I'll ask him."

Aemond, actually hears everything from a distance and realizes the situation, so he notices how Floris watches him and also how you try to watch him from the corner of your eye, noticing how you move your fingers across the screen of your phone in a desperate way.

And just then Liam speaks in his direction.

"I don't think we're all going to fit," he tells him as he points to his car.

He lets out a long breath as he pulls his keys out of his pocket, unlocking the doors.

"Get in, everyone."

He says in his voice loud enough for everyone and especially you to hear, without even looking at you, he also says it with a nonchalant tone, then starts across the street, heading to his car, which is big and spacious enough for everyone.

He listens as you and Floris speak again, but it's not so audible to him anymore, with the others following him to the car as well.

Tonight hasn't been the best, neither was the way you both ended it, but he still cares about you and your well-being, as there was no way he was going to leave you here alone, at almost two in the morning.

And when he gets in the car, he thought he would have to stand still, waiting for you, to the point of having to tell you himself that he will drop you off at home, but in the end he sees you following Floris with a look that he can't really describe.

Liam gets in as co-pilot and all the girls settle in the back seats, you too.

And pretty soon he's driving through the city, watching you in the rearview mirror from time to time, unable to help himself, while you watch him too when he doesn't notice, biting the inside of your cheek and feeling completely nervous.

And you don't know if it was intentional, but it really wasn't, Aemond just started asking for directions and those who had their houses closest to them spoke, leaving Sarah first, then Floris, Liam and at the end there's Jenna and you.

"My dorm is in Walden Residence, it's on the first block of the university," she indicates to Aemond and then she looks at you, "You live in a dorm too?"

You nod, feeling unable to speak.

"In which residence?"

You swallow hard, as you lick your lips.

"Westbridge."

"Oh! Then you'll drop me off first, her dorm is further in the back," she says to Aemond, who starts the car again.

Oh fuck.

general taglist:

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#aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen angst

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vivwritesfics · 6 months

Text

No Need To Ask

Chapter Seven - No Weaknesses

The Norris' were a notorious crime family in the UK. One of many. With Norris, the head of the family, running operations with his son, Lando, they work to keep Y/N Norris, Norris' daughter protected. Life in a crime family wasn't something they wanted for her.

But with tension with one of the Spanish crime families rise, Norris and his now deceased wife come up with only one plan, offer their daughter to the Sainz's or risk an all out war.

1.7K words

Because of how I've made the character of Carlos' mother, I didn't want to use her real name. That is why she is called Mrs Sainz (or Señora sainz)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Oscar had his own room in Carlos’ house. He had yet to actually sleep in it though.

So far, Oscar had just used his room to store his clothes and to get changed. The bed was perfectly made from where he hadn’t yet slept in it. When Y/N found this out, she assumed it was unintentional, that he just fell asleep while he was watching over her.

And that was partially true. Oscar did fall asleep while he was protecting her. But he allowed himself to. he let himself fall asleep while he was in Y/N’s room. Carlos had brought it up to her over a game of chess, he knew, and had told her that he had men stationed outside of her room.

Well, that didn’t help to comfort her. It didn’t comfort Oscar, either. On the rare instance that he left Y/N’s room (which would only be for twenty minutes, at most) he made sure to level Carlos’ men with a piercing stare.

After two weeks of being in Carlos’ house, a week after Lando had flown home, Y/N had an unexpected visitor at her bedroom door. She’d knocked before with Carlos and Oscar had answered the door then. The stare she gave him was more terrifying that anything Carlos had done to him, and Oscar found himself stepping to the side. “Good choice,” Carlos mumbled as he walked past him.

This time, Carlos’ mother came alone. Oscar didn’t know how to address the woman, so he just stepped to the side and let her into the room.

“Who is it, Osc?” Asked Y/N when she didn’t hear him say anything. Sat at her vanity, she had a book open in front of her. It was one she had brought with her from the UK.

Mrs Sainz cleared her throat. That was how she was known in the family, just as those who worked for the Norris family called Y/N’s mother Mrs Norris when she was alive. Y/N looked up at the mirror. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Carlos’ mother.

Suddenly Y/N was on her feet. “Mrs Sainz!” She said, in way of greeting. Mrs Sainz didn’t smile when she looked at her.

“We have work to do before the wedding,” she said, hands clasped together. “You are spending the day with me.”

Y/N nodded her head. “Come,” said Mrs Sainz. She turned on her heel and strode out of the room, leaving Y/N to follow her. Oscar went to follow as well, but Mrs Sainz gave him a look and he stopped. She kept staring at him until he retreated back into the room.

“He follows you around like a dog,” Mrs Sainz spat as she led Y/N through the house.

“He means well,” Y/N replied. “He’s just doing as Lando asked him.”

Mrs Sainz made a noise of disapproval as she went down the stairs. She didn’t say more on the matter as she took Y/N into a room that could only have been called the parlour.

The chairs in the parlour were covered with white dresses. Wedding dresses, Y/N realised as she looked at all of them. In the middle of the room was a seamstress, setting up her things. "Today we are going to find you a dress," said Mrs Sainz.

"But I already have a dress," Y/N said, somewhat timidly.

Mrs Sainz made that same disapproving noise. "Not good enough for my son," she muttered and walked over to the first dress, picking it up.

Y/N had never been to a Mafia wedding before. They'd happened in her lifetime, sure, but she'd never been. She didn't know what to expect on her own wedding day. She knew she'd have very little control over the wedding, but she thought she'd be able to control the dress.

Suddenly Y/N began welling up. She sank to her knees and let the tears flow freely. "Enough of that, stupid girl," said Mrs Sainz as Y/N continued to cry.

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't stop the sobs as she furiously wiped under her eyes. Her breathing was becoming difficult as she pulled her legs closer to her chest.

Arms grabbed her own and Y/N was forcibly pulled to her feet. "Oh, estúpida y estúpida!" Shouted Mrs Sainz. Her hand was raised and, for a moment, Y/N thought she was going to slap her. "You are going to be a part of the Sainz family! You can't be seen showing weakness!"

Y/N wiped away her tears and tried to suppress her sobs. Mrs Sainz grabbed a hold of the nearest dress and passed it to Y/N. She gave her no choice in the matter, making her try on every single one.

None of the dresses were close to the dress Y/N had chosen for herself. When Y/N tried to voice her opinions on the dresses, Mrs Sainz would quickly shut her up and turn her attention to the seamstress. The women spoke in Spanish, leaving Y/N standing there without an inkling as to what was going on.

Mrs Sainz had her wearing every single dress. If she gave her opinions, they were in Spanish. The seamstress worked on every dress she tried on, often times poking Y/N with the sharp needles. If she expressed pain, Mrs Sainz would sharply shut her up. Whicher dress was her favourite, Y/N wasn’t sure. After Y/N had tried them all on Mrs Sainz pushed her out of the room, shutting the door in her face so that she could discuss things with the seamstress alone.

As soon as Y/N was out of the room, she leaned against the nearest wall and let out a breath. She’d been poked so many times with a needle she didn’t know how she wasn’t bleeding. She threw her head back and shut her eyes, savouring the moment alone.

Y/N pushed away from the wall and walked down the corridor. She just wanted to get back to her room and sleep until tomorrow.

As Y/N walked past the doors that led out to the patio, Y/N stopped. She couldn’t help but watch him as he swam in the pool, wet hair pushed back on his head and his tanned skin glistening. She didn’t know what it was, but something compelled her to walk forwards, to push open the doors and step out onto the patio.

Carlos stopped swimming. He rested his arms on the pool ledge. Neither of them said anything, Y/N waiting for Carlos to say something and Y/N not sure what to say.

As soon as she stepped outside, Y/N went to turn back around. “Wait,” came Carlos’ voice, stopping her in her tracks. “Stay.”

Y/N did just that. She pulled off her shoes and socks and sat on the pool ledge, her feet in the water. Still, they didn’t say anything. Y/N watched him as he went back to swimming, doing laps up and down the pool.

Was this what the rest of her life was going to be? Sitting there quietly while Carlos did what he wanted? That wasn’t the life her mother lived and it wasn’t the life Mrs Sainz lived.

Y/N played with the skin around her nails, in her peripheral vision she watched as Carlos pulled himself out of the pool, muscles visible to whoever might have been watching (aka, Y/N). She kept her legs in the water as Carlos walked behind her and grabbed his towel.

“Can I ask you something?” Asked Y/N in a moment of bravery.

“Of course,” said Carlos as he sat and used the towel to dry his hair.

Y/N sucked in a breath. Brave. She needed to be brave. “I… What’s expected of me?” She asked. “When I am your wife, what is expected of me?”

Carlos looked across the patio at her. His towel was around his shoulders, and he ran his fingers through his hair. Carlos had taken time to think about it since his father told him of the marriage, since it was purely to benefit the families. There were a few things expected of every mafia wife. She was expected to stand by her husband’s side and give him children. Whether this went to the point that it did with Y/N’s mother, where she was as in charge as her husband was, that was yet to be seen.

“Once we are married, we are to have children,” he answered.

“Oh,” Y/N mumbled before he could continue with his listed. She hadn’t thought about this, hadn’t thought about having his children. Maybe Y/N didn’t realise that this was a part of a mafia wife’s life. She had never had sex before, and the thought was giving her enough anxiety already. But, you throw children into the mix? That was a whole different kettle of fish.

Carlos continued. “You will no longer be loyal to the Norris family and your loyalties will lie with me.”

Y/N knew this bit. She had been mentally preparing herself for this, for when she was to say goodbye to the family she had grown up in. “Will I get to visit my brother?” She asked and kicked her legs slowly, moving them through the water.

He took his time answering this one. With the declining health of Norris, it was something he and his father had been discussing. As Carlos had said at the dinner in the Norris, he was happy for Y/N to go home for her father’s funeral for a week or two. Of course, he was going to have to send one of two of his men with her, to make sure she stayed safe and didn’t… slip up.

“Yes,” Carlos answered. “You will join me on… business trips. Your brother will be attending this business trips and that is when you will see him,” he said.

“What about my father?”

“We will discuss this when the time comes,” he said.

“But-”

“When the time comes,” Carlos said and stood from his seat. With his towel still around his shoulders he walked into his house, pulling the doors shut behind him.

Y/N stayed in the pool, hot sun beating down on her. But Y/N didn’t care. She looked down in the water, at the colourful tiles at the bottom of the pool. If she wasn’t already terrified for the life of a Mafia wife, she was now.

Taglist (open): @multi-universe21 @formulas-bitch @gills-lounge @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @carlossainzwho @f1lov3r @samaib11 @charli123456789 @queenofmanydreams @ironmaiden1313 @vellicora @glitterf1 @80sloverry @lightdragonrayne @moonayu @bellsalabanccini @topguncultleader @handsupforamiracle @cmleitora @ashy-kit @jenniferrvsesi @barcelonaloverf1life @sbella13 @nicolettecallednikki @darleneslane

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clockwayswrites · 10 months

Text

A Broken Sort of Normal Part 9

WC: 1431, Masterpost CW: blood, cannon typical violence, off screen civilian and first responder deaths, mentions of death

Danny and his Flash were both very busy people, there was no denying that. The good thing was that the worst of their busyness were the same events. Sure, they both had obligations outside of that. Danny had all of the other work with the outreach and now overseeing and even training other team members. Flash… well, Flash had whatever he did with the rest of his life. Danny assumed he worked, even if it was for the Justice League.

It was a little odd not knowing Flash past the mask. Danny understood, of course he did. A secret identity was important and, despite having been on several dates now, they still were getting to know each other. It wasn’t as if Danny didn’t know anything about his Flash. He knew Flash always comforted the kids first, was fiercely loyal, and couldn’t resist petting a dog. He knew Flash loved trying new foods, played video games with friends that Flash wished he saw more, and really did enjoy spoiling him. He knew a lot.

He just didn’t know Flash’s name or what family Flash had or if those freckles ran all the way across Flash’s nose.

Danny would be patient though, because he understood. It helped that he at least had Flash’s number. He didn’t know if it was a burner phone or an app or routed through a number of proxies; he hadn’t asked. The first thing Danny had done, in fact, was to send a Flash meme. It had gotten him shoved, but that had turned into a make out session on the couch, so Danny certainly wasn’t complaining.

And if Danny now kept a collection of gifs, memes, and other silly Flash things on hand to send? Well, who could blame him.

He rolled over to grab his phone from the coffee table and sent off another picture of a cat dressed up in Flash’s outfit. The amount of people dressing pets up as superheros was honestly shocking. He didn’t expect an answer right then, looking at the time, but he found it was… nice to be able to find things to send to Flash for him to find and respond to later. It made him feel connected to someone in a way that he hadn’t had in years.

Danny recognized, now, that he had been really hurting himself trying to stay so separate from everyone. One way or another, this is how things would be for the rest of his life. He couldn’t keep morning what had happened, what he had lost. Besides, he was just a civilian now, he wasn’t a danger to his friends and family anymore. So, along with Flash, Danny had started actually accepting the occasional invitation from some of his coworkers. He had even found a game store to go to and play at on the weekends.

It was harder than he thought, putting himself out there again, but his life was brighter for being around people outside of work every week or so. He had Flash to thank for that.

He also had Flash to thank for getting him addicted to the Percy Jackson books. He could personally do with less lightning, but the story had a real way of resonating with the halfa. Danny was three books in at this point and needed to know how it all finished up.

A few chapters further in a notification interrupted him.

Quick Boy: It’s not fair that a cat wears my uniform better than me!!

Danny laughed and tapped the message.

Danny: The cat is pretty cute. But I still think you wear it best. You have a better butt. 😏

The little dots wiggled as Flash typed. It was endlessly amusing to Danny that despite being, literally, super fast, Flash was slowed down by the physics of the world around him, like how fast a phone could accept input.

Quick Boy: 😳🫣🥵 Danny! Have you been checking out my butt?

Despite himself, Danny felt a blush heating up his cheeks. They hadn’t gotten any further than kissing, it didn’t feel right to go further when Danny didn’t know who Flash was, but that didn't mean Danny couldn't tease.

Danny: You run around in spandex, I can’t NOT check out your butt. Have to say, it’s a pretty good one. 10/10, would ogle again.

Quick Boy: How do you feel about ogling it in my most flattering sweatpants? Got a hold of that Japanese giant bug movie you were ranting about. I can grab food and be over to your place in about an hour?

Danny: Stop calling it that!!!You know the title! 😤

Quick Boy: I’m not typing out that title.

Danny grinned as he rolled off of the couch. If Flash was coming over, he should at least pick up a little. Danny knew Flash didn’t really care, but the pile of laundry that Danny had been avoiding folding was a bit much.

Danny: Thought you were supposed to be fast.

Quick Boy: 😒

Danny: Come on, quick boy, take the nanosecond and type it.

Quick Boy: I hate you.

Danny: No you don't~

(Danny sung along as he typed.)

Quick Boy: “Help I’ve Been Made a Holy Knight in a World of Giant Bugs and Need to Save the Prince”

Danny: Knew you could do it! Proud of you. 😘 See you in an hour! Bring Thai and ice cream!

Danny was just putting away the folded stack of laundry when an alarm on his phone screamed at him.

It was work.

Emergency alert.

All hands on deck.

Danny dashed for his door, shoving his feet in his work boots and grabbing the backup vest he kept at home. Someone would drive the trucks full of kits there, but Danny still took his little kit with him, just in case he ran into any wounded on the way.

So much for dinner and cuddling his boyfriend.

As soon as he stepped out onto the street, Danny could hear the sound of sirens and the acrid smell of smoke stung his eyes. Danny’s heart sank.

Whatever this was, it was big.

“Danny.”

Danny flexed his hands. Flakes of dried blood broke off and scattered in the wind.

“Danny, babe.”

He would need more gloves for his kit. Was he out? He had to be out. He changed gloves so many times. There were so many people. He had to be out of gloves. He would need more for his kit.

Other hands entered his vision, covered in bright red. Not blood red, bright red. Blood red was mostly darker than people thought. Bright blood was worse. He watched as the hands gently rolled down the gloves.

He needed more gloves.

“Not for today, babe. You’re done for today.”

He needed more gloves, there were so many people.

“Everyone is accounted for. You and the others got everyone.”

Not everyone.

How many people died under his hands today?

Were already dead when he found them?

Wouldn’t last the night?

How many people did he fail?

Too many.

“Danny.” The voice was worried now. “Come on babe, look at me, please?”

Blood had gotten under his gloves, staining his wrists.

“Babe, please.”

Warm, fabric covered hands rested on Danny’s cheeks, tilting his gaze up and away from his hands.

Oh. “Flash?”

“Hey there, babe, you with me?”

Why did he look so worried?

“Because you’re scaring me a little. I think you’re in shock.”

Oh.

“Do you have a shock blanket in your kit still?”

“No… used them all. Had to cover…”

How many people did he fail?

“Okay, that’s okay. I’m going to take you home, okay babe? Well, not my home, but where I used to live— right, that doesn’t matter now. We’re going to go and I’ll keep you safe.”

Danny motioned to a cluster of officials. “I have to—”

“I’ve already checked you out.”

“My team?”

Flash glanced down and away.

“Flash, my team?”

“They’re…. all accounted for. Larson…. He got caught in part of the building coming down. He didn’t make it. Patel was paired with him. She’s at the hospital, they think she’ll pull through.”

Danny tried to say something, but the words caught in his throat. He wanted to scream, to rage, to wail— it all caught up in his throat because he couldn’t. He let out a soundless sob.

Flash pulled Danny into his arms, holding him close. “I know. I know. I’m taking you home. You’ll be okay Danny. It will be okay.”

The colors of the world blurred together as Flash ran, but Danny hardly noticed.

-----

AN: So this has been 95% written since before I got sick, but just now was the first time I could get my brain to deal with it. A darker part of the story, I know, but it felt needed. Danny's doing a very, very hard job and one made all the worse because Danny used to be able to do more and now he can't. (Though I have no doubt he pushed use of his powers further than was really safe in this.)

Stay safe and delightful, my darlings!

I no longer tag people for several reasons, you can subscribe to the masterpost instead to be notified! (May notify this part slightly later, I am queuing it.)

#dp x dc #danny fenton/wally west #quick death #abson

689 notes · View notes

bvidzsoo · 5 months

Text

Love Me Like A Rockstar (1)

Chapter 1: The death of peace of mind

Author: bvidzsoo

Warning: light cursing

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Word count: 6,986

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hii, first chapter is out, hope you all enjoy it! I hope the lyrics aren't confusing, I went ahead and tried out something new with this story, hopefully it's as enjoyable as I planned it out to be. Please do check the playlist as it'll be updated with each chapter and I also advise you listen to the song before or while reading the chapters, it'll have a different feel. Taglist is open, thank you for showing interest! Please leave feedback and enjoy now!

Taglist: @orshii @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog

⟨Series M.list ⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I made another mistake

Thought I could change, thought I could make it out』

The rustle of paper, the zipping of a pencil case, the drying scent of freshly used paint, and the oily feeling on your fingertips after using acrylics, the slight burn against your middle finger after having held your pencil tightly for hours were all things I was used to, familiar with. I bit my lower lip as my eyes were stuck to my A5 sketchbook, the paper thick, entranced by the black charcoal forming a way too familiar shape. The outline of the person was dark, shadows creeping around his body, faceless. I didn’t have it in me to put too much detail into his face, my mind kept wandering. I was feeling slightly lost. The weather was getting worse day by day, the sky dark, casting a gloomy feel over our heads. It didn’t help that I haven’t slept well for three days in a row, but perhaps that had something to do with the full moon—or so my mother has said while cooking dinner yesterday.

A sigh left my lips as my fingers itched to trace another line against the paper, to perfect the stray strand of light-colored hair falling against the man’s forehead. My shoulders were hunched over and I only now registered the soreness in my neck and lower back, having been sitting at this stool for almost two hours now. When I was drawing, or painting, time seemed to fly by in a wink, leaving me completely oblivious to everything happening around me. It was a means to calm my mind, to soothe my feelings, and a means to existing without wondering, dwelling, or feeling the dread of not being good enough—and perhaps the worst thought which quite often recurred in my scattered mind was that I didn’t know what I would do with myself once I was done with University. Opening an art club for all the art lovers was a small step in feeling a little accomplishment, however, that would be gone as soon as I was out and away from this place. Who would take over then? Were there students who were interested enough, loved art enough, to continue the little legacy I would leave behind? Those were pressing questions in the back of my mind sometimes, and I knew I was worrying about insignificant things, but they felt very crucial to me. If I could leave a little piece of me behind everywhere I went, nobody would be able to forget me, right?

“Bye, Y/N!” The sudden chirping of my name combined with the greeting finally snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up, a small smile forming on my lips as I waved at the leaving students. They weren’t my students per se, I was only an Art major, but I did view them as my little apprentices. They were ambitious and determined to learn everything they could, eager to contribute as much as they could. I appreciated their effort and felt glad that people like them existed, it gave me hope in humankind. Not that I had much with everything going on in the world, but I could only appreciate and admire those who found a little kindness in their hearts to share with others.

I finally felt like I was done with my drawing as I sat back, rolling my shoulders back and cracking my neck as the last few students left the room, leaving me alone with the approaching girl with a grin on her face. I turned my head and watched her as she giddily approached me, gripping her sketchbook to her chest.

“Wanna see?” She asked with a chuckle and I nodded with a smile, eyes falling on my best friend’s drawing. I instantly recognized the features of the older woman and I chuckled as I took in the smaller version of my best friend, grinning up at her mother as she held a little flower up to her. She never stopped amazing me with her beautiful creations, and I couldn’t help but clap for her briefly.

“This is gorgeous, Seulgi, I’m in love.” I said as I reached my hand out and lightly traced the leaves of the willow tree in the drawing, making my best friend grin happily. She had her hair down today, her black curls falling around her shoulders. Her hair has gotten long, but she didn’t want to cut it, said she liked it more like this. It did suit her and gave her a younger look; her colorful outfits complementing her personality and overall looks well.

“What did you draw?” She asked and I glanced over at my own drawing, sucking my lower lip between my teeth. I really shouldn’t have drawn him again, but doing so brought me comfort. It always did. Despite the heartbreak he left in his wake, Yunho was a person whom I have deeply loved and found shelter in once—my drawings of him only reflected that. I have anticipated Seulgi’s reaction as I took my sketchbook off from the drafting board, turning it around and letting her eyes rake over it as she sighed, giving me a slightly disappointed look as she placed one hand on her hip. I looked away and quickly closed my sketchbook, getting off the stool. My hips and back protested in pain as I stretched my arms overhead, letting out a groan when my stiff muscles strained and vertebras finally popped.

“I thought we agreed you would stop drawing Yunho…” Seulgi trailed off as she watched me start packing away my things into my dark green backpack. Oh, well, she certainly wasn’t wrong, but I got carried away today—I haven’t even realized I was drawing Yunho until I was done with the outline of his body.

“Uh, yeah,” I muttered slightly embarrassed as Seulgi shook her head and closed her own sketchbook, balancing on one leg as she unzipped her backpack and placed it against her thigh, “But we talked about the feeling of comfort today and a place or person whom makes you feel safe and—I got carried away, sorry.”

Seulgi gave me a sympathetic look as she had forced her sketchbook inside her backpack and lowered her leg, swinging her bag around her shoulders, “And you couldn’t have drawn you—mother? Or teddy bear from third grade?”

Her offhanded question made me chuckle as I looked at her amused, my backpack hanging off my shoulders as I only wore one strap.

“Mom would flip if I drew her and made even the smallest mistake. I’d rather avoid getting scolded about making her eyebrow darker than it actually is.” Seulgi and I shared a look before we both started giggling as I recalled the one and only time I drew my mother, swearing to never do it again as she found every single little detail wrong about her features, pointed them out to me, and then proceeded to ignore me for the next three days. Thinking back on it, it is a quite hilarious memory, but back in that moment she made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, talented enough, making me doubt my skills for a very long time. Until I met Seulgi and she started freaking out about my art, calling me phenomenal.

“Yeah, perhaps drawing your mom wouldn’t be the smartest, but seriously, Y/N, how long has it been?” Seulgi seemed to think for a second as we started for the door, “Five years? You certainly should be over Yunho by now.”

Hearing his name left a sour taste in my mouth even if it shouldn’t have. Despite the passing of years he somehow still made me feel bitter about everything that’s happened between us. I hate that feeling, but I couldn’t get rid of it and it was frustrating.

“I am over him.” I muttered as we left the art studio and I locked the door, making Seulgi hum next to me sounding not too convinced. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pocketed the key, then we started walking down the empty hallway, headed for the exit.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Seulgi decided to change the subject as she bounced on the balls of her feet, a huge grin appearing on her lips. I raised my eyebrows at her sudden excitement and thought for a second before I shook my head no. We turned the corner to the left, having arrived in the musical studies department. The hallway was littered with doors on both sides, which were studios for the music majors, private little rooms where they could record and write whatever songs they wanted.

“Cool,” Seulgi grinned and suddenly gripped my hand, her lips falling into a pout, eyes slightly widening. Oh, I knew what was coming next, yet her honey like tone still made me cringe, “Come with me to the Outlaw? Please?”

My eyebrows furrowed hearing the mentioned place. It was famous amongst our university’s students. It was a run down and cheap pub where degenerates gathered to have fun almost every night, drinking their night away, wasting their money and braincells on unimportant things.

“Why would I go there?”

“Because I’m asking?” Seulgi raised an eyebrow, “And because the Noir Zenith are playing tonight and I really want to go—”

“What is a Noir Zenith?” I asked confused, making Seulgi’s eyes widen to the point of bulging out. She looked funny as she let go of my hand and gasped as if I had sworn out her mother or someone she really cared about.

“It’s the coolest band from our university! Are you telling me you haven’t heard of them?” She asked outraged making me laugh, “I’m speechless.”

“Well, you know I don’t waste my time by drinking my sorrows away in a shitty pub surrounded by even shittier people who try to chase fame with scratchy and awful voices. Is the band made up by some music major students?”

“They do not have scratchy and awful voices, Y/N!” Seulgi looked outraged by this point, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise, “God, they are one of the best bands to ever exist—”

“Yeah, right,” I rolled my eyes as we entered the main hall of our university, “Go on and disregard all of the previous phenomenal bands to ever exist, nice one, Seulgi—wait, is this about Wooyoung? Didn’t you say he’s part of a band as well?”

At the mention of said boy all anger and incredulity disappeared from Seulgi’s face and she shrunk back, hiding her face behind her hair, “Yeah, he’s actually a vocalist of the band. Noir Zenith.”

“Oh,” Was all I could say as I watched her push her hair behind her ears, face almost as red as a tomato. I tried not to laugh at my best friend, her crush on the boy painfully obvious, “And I assume you want to go watch them perform tonight?”

Seulgi nodded wordlessly as she pushed open the double doors for us, “At Outlaw?”

She nodded again and I hummed, raking my brain for any plans I had made for tonight, but I found none. I had zero excuses to refuse Seulgi for so I glanced at her as we ascended the few stairs, licking my lips as I dwelled on the idea of being seen at such place. I mean, it couldn’t be that bad, right? After all, it was just a band singing from our university and I would be out of there the second they were done. That sounded pretty reasonable and alright to me, so I hummed, and smiled at Seulgi.

“What time?” Her eyes widened as she whipped her head towards me as we were headed to the bus station.

“Oh, my God!” She shrieked and flung herself at me, almost throwing us off balance, “You’re the best, I love you! Seven, you should be ready at six thirty, and I’ll pick you up and we’ll drive there together—oh, my God, I’m so excited! Wooyoung said they’ll be performing their newest song and he said it’s so fire! Mingi wrote the lyrics, and Wooyoung helped with the chorus, he actually showed me a snippet—do not tell Mingi that—and it was so good, oh, my God—I’m rambling, sorry, but you said yes and I just—”

Seulgi cut herself off with a shriek as she let go of me, leaving me partially deaf as her shrill voice rang through my right ear, making me wince. Of course, I wouldn’t tell Mingi, whoever that was.

“Alright, I’ll be done by six thirty.” I muttered as Seulgi skipped ahead, sitting on the bench by the bus stop, grinning from ear to ear as she took her phone out of her pocket, starting to type furiously. She was probably texting Wooyoung, but I couldn’t be too sure, they had periods when they would talk all day and night, and then periods when they would go radio silent for a week or so. Their relationship was interesting but Seulgi never talked too much about it, having once muttered that if she thought about Wooyoung for too long she’d fall for him—or something like that, I couldn’t be sure, Seulgi says a lot of things which she only half-heartedly means.

『Promises break, need to hear you say

"You're gonna keep it now"』

The pub was exactly like in the stories of others, and an exact replica of what I had in my mind. Which was bad, so being right here only made it worse as I allowed my eyes to travel to the ceiling, noticing all the uncovered pipes traveling above our heads. The lights were dim and there was almost like a light fog in the air, thankfully there weren’t any foul smells, like cigarettes or something else. The room was spacious, which was the only alright thing I could find about this place, as the walls were made of burgundy brick, a few falling out here and there. The dark wood floor seemed to be rotten in some places and I could only hiss as the front of my boots caught in an uneven plank, sending me slightly forward. Seulgi threw me an amused look before continuing her trot towards—I didn’t know where, but I decided to follow her blindly as I really wasn’t vibing with this place. Posters hung from the brick wall here and there and some graffiti covered it where the bar was. Chairs and tables were littered around the room, all looking quite old in age as I noticed one chair missing a leg, chuckling at the idea of someone toppling over once sitting on it. Seulgi gasped quite loudly and stopped walking for a second, making me crash into her back and throw her an unamused look as she swiftly turned around, lips pressed together and hands cupping her cheeks.

“Do I look alright, Y/N?” She blurted out, eyebrows furrowing, “Or am I too much? Do you think—did I totally miss the vibes with this outfit? I look ridiculous right now, don’t I—”

“No, Seulgi, you don’t.” I decided to cut off my best friend’s panicked rambling, placing my hands on her shoulders. I allowed my eyes to take in her outfit again and I smirked at her as we made eye contact. She was wearing black nylon bomber pants paired with fishnets which were peeking out above the waistband of her pants, her white crop top stopping at the middle of her torso. A black bomber jacket was thrown around her shoulders, matching her pants, and her white boots reached just underneath her knees. She had straightened her long hair and I helped her by making a smokey eye for her, accentuating the depth of her beautiful eyes, sharpening her stare. She looked absolutely gorgeous and I needed her to stop second guessing her outfit, “You look fucking hot and anyone in their right mind would want to devour you right now.”

“You included?” Seulgi flirted cheekily and I pretended to gag as I pushed her playfully away by her arms, making Seulgi laugh as she pushed her hair behind her shoulders, “Alright, I believe you.”

“Very well.” I grinned and allowed her to grip my elbow as the crowd was slightly denser here as we made our way towards the front of the room, headed to where the small stage was. I could see a drum set up on the dark stage, and suddenly I was veered to the left, almost getting whiplash by the force Seulgi pulled me after herself. I took in the people around me and decided that I definitely wasn’t part of this crowd, and it was showing. One, I was painfully sober and they weren’t; two, I certainly missed the point of this being a pub dominated by rock lovers, and my outfit had nothing to do with it. Against my better judgement, I have decided to wear a tight black skirt which barely reached the middle of my thighs, paired with high heel boots which reached my knees. A white tank top peeked through the burgundy long sleeved blouse I wore over it, having discarded my leather jacket in Seulgi’s car out of fear of losing it. All in all, the outfit was awesome, it’s just that it didn’t really match with the place in question I was at. I was slowly starting to regret coming here as we finally stopped walking and Seulgi’s hand, which brought comfort, disappeared from my elbow. I suddenly became aware that we have stopped by a table, and my best friend’s arms were around a guy’s shoulder as the two hugged each other—rather tightly, might I add. I allowed my eyes to fall on the guy and realized, only because Seulgi had shown me countless pictures of him, that it was Wooyoung. The only reason we were here, her crush. I tried to hide my snickering as they pulled away from each other and I have noticed Seulgi’s flushed cheeks, which was probably wise as Seulgi’s eyes were instantly on me, holding a warning in them.

“This is Y/N, my best friend.” She said sweetly as she lightly pushed Wooyoung towards me, “Y/N, this is Wooyoung the—vocalist and guitarist of Noir Zenith.”

“Cool name.” I muttered half-heartedly as Wooyoung extended his hand to shake, I was only speaking because I had to say something if I didn’t want to come off rude. A huge smile broke onto Wooyoung’s face at the praise of his band’s name and he eagerly shook my hand, making me force a smile onto my face when he held my hand for an unnecessary long time. The guy was just around my height and seemed to be buzzing with energy as he tapped his foot against the ground, sneaking glances towards Seulgi before finally facing her. His jawline was sharp and nose high as I took in his profile, his pretty eyes focused on my best friend. His hair was longer at the back and had two colors, black and blonde, it certainly didn’t look bad on him. He seemed to be the only one, besides myself, not dressed fitting for the place, and suddenly I didn’t feel as singled out as I had been moments prior, thankful for the light grey extremely baggy jeans littered with glitter he was wearing and for the grey and black faded out loose shirt hiding his frame. The front was slightly tucked in and a maroon belt held his pants to his hips, matching the color of his sneakers. The guy wore a few earrings and I just heard Seulgi complimenting them, making me chuckle. I knew she wanted to talk to him, so I didn’t bother them and instead looked around again, feeling slightly awkward, before I rested my gaze on the other two sitting at the table.

One guy was looking down at his phone, completely immersed by it as his long fingers were typing quickly, his wavy black hair falling into his eyes. He wore a very intricate white shirt, the material seemed to part at his shoulders and only covered his upper arm, cuffed and puffed out at his wrists, leaving the rest of his arms bare. A black corset like looking fabric was wrapped around his torso, stopping right below his chest and everything was neatly tucked inside black dress pants, an expensive silver chain hanging under the neckline of his shirt. The outfit was something I would’ve never thought of putting together, yet, it looked fabulous on the man and for a few seconds I found myself gawking at him. But I quickly caught myself and looked away awkwardly, hoping that nobody noticed my staring, instead, I found myself looking at the third guy, taking him in. His demeanor screamed confidence as he wore a smirk on his cherry red plush lips, jawline visibly sharp as his head was turned to the side, his nose tall and long. His tan skin glistened underneath the shitty lights of the pub, yet you were able to spot a few covered up blemishes around his jaw. His neck was heavily decorated with silver chains of various dimensions, a shinning silver pick dangling lower on his exposed chest as his black tank top was low cut and form fitting. The guy had a big midnight blue jacket over his frame and it had an interesting design, his jeans ripped at the knee and black like his tank top. Silver chain like bracelets wrapped around his wrists and I found my eyes drawn to his hands as he was pushing his glass from one hand to the other, fingers littered with smaller and bigger rings, the one with a red gem catching my eye. His nails seemed to have dirt scribbled over them, that is, until I looked harder and realized it was chapped black nail polish. I couldn’t deny how nice this guy looked and as I looked back up at his face, I found him looking back at me. My heart somersaulted but I played it off—hopefully my face really didn’t show any emotion—as I steeled my gaze and allowed blankness to settle over my features. His black hair was shorter and fell over his eyes, covering his forehead. The guy’s eyes were sharp and his gaze intimidating as his face remained unexpressive, features cold as he seized me up, suddenly the smirk back on his face. My eyes narrowed as the guy continued watching me smugly, and I just noticed the little something which looked like a smudge of something on his right cheekbone. Did he smudge dirt on it? Was he even aware that it was there? The possibility of him not knowing his perfect face was tainted brought a smirk on my lips and an eyebrow of the guy’s flew up, his gaze almost challenging as our stare down was abruptly stopped by a chair scraping backwards. My gaze went back to the very handsome man and I was surprised by the friendly gaze sent my way.

His features were soft yet sharp at the same time, his eyes big and warm as his lips were plump and looked soft. His skin was tan too and the highlighter reflected off his cheekbones, giving him an ethereal feel. There was a small piercing in his nose and I was slightly alarmed as he suddenly walked around the table, approaching my side. My body tensed and I glanced towards Seulgi, who was deep in conversation with Wooyoung. I assume these three must be friends since they were sitting at the same table.

“I’m Seonghwa, Wooyoung’s friend.” The guy finally spoke up, his voice was definitely softer than I expected it to be, and I reluctantly shook his extended hand.

“My name is Y/N.” I answered politely and retracted my hand from his as fast as I could. Seonghwa continued smiling as he looked towards Seulgi and his own friend, “Oh, uhm, I’m Seulgi’s best friend.”

“I figured,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. The aura this outfit gave him certainly didn’t match his current attitude, “Wooyoung mentioned Seulgi coming by and bringing her friend, it’s nice meeting you.”

“Oh, you too.” I offered him a lopsided grin and clasped my hands together in front of myself, Seonghwa’s demeanor not as off putting as most guy’s—or like the other guy’s who just stood up from the table and started approaching us. I watched him, eyes falling on him involuntarily as there was something about him which demanded attention as he came awfully close to Seonghwa and I, towering over the both of us. Seonghwa was a tall guy too, but this third guy’s height seemed to loom even over him, but I didn’t let that affect me in any way as I looked up at him with a bored expression.

“Found another little fan of ours?” I gulped at the hear of his voice, which somehow matched his face, it was deep and slightly raspy, however, the tone he used rubbed me the wrong way. My eyes narrowed at him and before Seonghwa could answer him, I fired an answer his way.

“A fan of yours?” I chuckled drily, “You certainly can’t be as self-centered as to think every female around a mile radius would instantly throw themselves at you, no?”

A beat of silence followed before Seonghwa started snickering, hiding his mouth by his hand as the other guy’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t look pleased by my question and he leaned down to be at the same height as me, gaze boring into mine. When his face was blank, his eyes seemed to get sharper and it somehow made my heartbeat pick up, but I ignored it. It was just the adrenaline, the annoyance, probably which threatened to seep through my bloodstream sooner than later.

“And who are you again?” The guy’s voice was quieter, dropped lower as he tried to belittle me with his stupid question, but I just rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Don’t think I introduced myself to you before,” I snapped and the guy clicked his tongue, “Who are you, first of all?”

“You don’t know who I am?” His eyebrows suddenly furrowed as confusion washed over his face and for a second—but just that one little second—I thought the guy looked cute as his features softened.

“No, I don’t.” Him lowering himself allowed me to see whatever that was on his cheekbone better, and I could make out that it was some sort of logo, however, I have never seen it before, “And you have some dirt on your face.”

I pointed at my own cheekbone and Seonghwa’s sudden loud laughter alerted Seulgi and Wooyoung as they finally seemed to realize there were others around them, especially me, as Seulgi quickly stepped close and gripped my shoulder.

“That’s not dirt!” The man exclaimed and for someone with such a deep voice, his tone went incredibly high, “That’s my signature, bro.”

“Okay, bro, you’re self-centered, like I said—” Before I could really go off on this guy Seulgi gasped and laughed loudly, awkwardly, as I threw her a small glare.

“Aren’t you two hitting it off right the bat?!” She tried to diffuse the tension as Wooyoung chuckled, amused by the situation as Seonghwa was grinning too, “Y/N, this is Song Mingi, the bass player, singer, producer, lyricist, founder of Noir Zenith—be nice.”

The last part was only whispered to me and my eyebrows furrowed as I looked back at this guy, Mingi, who stood back up straight and threw a glare my way as I scoffed, shrugging my shoulders, “What a waste of talent on such personality.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened to saucers as Wooyoung inhaled loudly before breaking out into an ear-piercing laughter, making me wince, while Seonghwa had to cover his mouth again as he threw his head back and laughed.

“Y/N—that’s—” Seulgi stammered but I hushed her and smirked up at Mingi as he seemed lost for words for a second before his eyes hardened and he pulled his shoulders back, jaw clenching.

“What are you doing here if you don’t even fucking care about our band?” He hissed and for a second the viciousness in his tone took me off guard, but I didn’t let it show as I wrapped my arm around Seulgi’s shoulder and pulled her into my side. She looked mortified and tried speaking again, but I beat her to it—to my pleasure.

“My lovely friend, Seulgi, dragged me here because her and Wooyoung are friends, happy?” I felt Seulgi slightly relax in my grip, but she still subtly poked my side harshly, making me bite my lower lip to keep the groan of pain inside. Wooyoung had stopped laughing, thankfully, and was looking very amused as he punched Mingi’s arm weakly.

“I think you got a little bit humbled, dude.” He whispered loudly—probably on purpose—and Seonghwa giggled again as he quickly adjusted the front pieces of his hair.

“Why would anyone who doesn’t even listen to us come here?” Mingi muttered more to himself as he turned around and sauntered off towards the bar, throwing a glare every so often my way, making me giggle as I found it amusing. Poor dude, couldn’t handle a little humbling, but he definitely needs it.

“Y/N is a little bit—of a bitch—ow!” Seulgi hissed as she rubbed the spot on her arm where I had punched her, “You didn’t let me finish! She’s a bitch, but she’s my bestie and she doesn’t mean harm. I’m sure you guys will charm her by the end of the night.”

Charm me my ass. Maybe Seonghwa and Wooyoung, Mingi not—for sure. Not now or ever. Not that there will be another time and another chance for him to do so.

『It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames hanging upside down』

The music coming through the speakers shook the little pub as I sat at the table the three boys have claimed as theirs earlier. Seulgi was by my side, but she was standing up, and she was jumping to the beat, somehow knowing the lyrics to the band’s newest song. I had a feeling Wooyoung had shown her already everything, but she did ask me not to tell Mingi—to whom now I could associate a face—and I had no desire to speak to him ever again, so she really had nothing to worry about. I couldn’t help but admit that they were good—not that I would ever say that out loud, especially not to Mingi—as the rock music blasted from the stage, purple and white lights illuminating the boys. Mingi stood in the center as he gripped his microphone, face scrunched up and the veins on his neck straining as his raspy voice involuntarily covered my skin in goosebumps.

『For granted, in vain, I took everything I ever cared about』

My fingers were tapping the rhythm of song, chin placed on my palm as I rested my hand on the table, watching each boy with curiosity. They all seemed to have different personalities and styles, yet up on the stage, they blended together and they worked well. Their voices complimented each other, where’s Mingi’s was raspy and low and harsh, Seonghwa’s seemed to be lighter and raspier, but then Wooyoung would jump in and his was powerful and high, and yet it still felt like a soft caress of a whisper at times. Their outfits, despite being so different, also made them look exquisite and gave the band a special and unique touch. As I glanced around I noticed how taken everyone seemed by their music, hanging onto every note they played as Seonghwa played the drums at the left side of the stage and Wooyoung the guitar to Mingi’s right.

『I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break』

Mingi was gripping his microphone as his eyes were closed and nose scrunched up, eyebrows furrowing as the words slipped through his lips smoothly, his raspy voice soft and tender, like a steady but soft caress of your cheek, the light flutter of your eyelashes as if he was right by your side, whispering the words to you, trying to seduce you.

『Your makeup running down your face

The way you fuck, the way you taste』

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he looked out onto the crowd, locking his gaze with mine. I was about to grab the glass of water and take a sip, but I froze as a smirk slipped onto his lips, mixing in with his voice and very obviously making him sound smug. My jaw clenched just as the people, especially the girls in the front row, started cheering loudly, enjoying Noir Zenith’s performance. I tried to convince myself that I was just imagining things, but I could’ve sworn Mingi’s gaze remained on me and only me, singing the words from deep withing his chest, all kinds of emotions and feelings plastered over his face as he took his microphone out of its stand and started walking around the stage, crouching down and pointing at the girls close to the stage.

『When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?

It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind

When the curtains call the time, will we both be satisfied?

It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind』

They played two more songs after their newest, the crowd going wild as they sang along and I could feel all those unslept nights catching up as my eyes threatened to shut closed at any given time. Seulgi noticed and grew concerned, but I reassured her that I was only tired and would head soon home if she didn’t mind. She insisted I wait at least until the boys finish their performance in order to not be seen rude as I have, probably, already offended them. Not that I would mind, even though Mingi is the only one who actually deserves it.

Once they got off the stage everyone was swarming around them, congratulating them and offering them drinks, and I watched as Seonghwa kindly turned down all of them, meanwhile Mingi carelessly accepted almost all as Wooyoung was pushing his way through the crowd, eager to get back to the table. His cheeks were flushed by the time he reached us and Seulgi sprung onto her feet and went to hug Wooyoung but suddenly paused, looking awkwardly at her feet, until Wooyoung went and pulled her into his embrace instead. Seulgi’s face lit up and she started animatedly talking, but I couldn’t hear as the crowd was loud. Seonghwa seemed to be nowhere as Mingi managed to make his way through the crowd and now was grinning smugly at me, one eyebrow crooked as I rolled my eyes, still not impressed at all by him. He said nothing as he sat down next to me and took a sip of his drink, eyes falling on me. I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eyes, but I ignored him, and instead reached for Seulgi’s jacket to get her car keys so that I could fetch my jacket before leaving. As I felt around her pocket I became aware of two people towering over me as they had stopped behind my chair. I turned my head around and raised my eyebrows at the two girls as they were giggling, waiting for Mingi to notice them. And when he did, that irritating smirk was back on his lips and he greeted the girls with a wide smile, biting his lower lip as they started praising him.

“Mingi you are so cool!” The brunette exclaimed, grinning at him, “I swear to God, this new outfit concept is so hot on you.”

If I could, I would’ve died from the second-hand embarrassment these two girls were giving me, but instead, I decided to stay just a for a little bit longer and see what nonsense they manage to sputter so that I can use it against Mingi later.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you singing so passionately like tonight, Mingi, the new song is so good I’m already obsessed with it.” The blonde chimed in fast, throwing a slight glare towards the brunette. I guess the friendship between them flies out the window the second they step closer to a relatively attractive male—not that Mingi is attractive or good looking.

“Ah, you two…you always know how to flatter me.” I possibly have thrown up a little bit in my mouth because of Mingi’s sultry voice and narrowed eyes—he partially looked like he was about to pass out and partially like he would inhale one of the girls, if not both.

“You so deserve it, Mingi!” The blonde quickly exclaimed and placed a hand on his bicep, “Who is your new song about?”

My breathing faltered for a second as Mingi glanced my way, but then I threw him a glare and rolled my eyes, realizing this was our first time meeting. Why did I even think for a little second that the song could’ve been about me? That sounded crazy, and now I felt crazy as I shook my head and downed the glass of water I have abandoned like half an hour ago.

“Someone who won’t leave your mind and makes you want to crawl up the wall, thoughts filled with them, desiring them like no one else before.” Mingi’s voice dropped a few octaves and I couldn’t help but look over as I smirked, abruptly standing up.

“Oh, girls, not to disappoint but he’s said that to like—three other girls before you two, and I don’t think that’s entirely what the song is about. Or maybe Seonghwa was talking about another song…” In fact, I have lied. Mingi hasn’t talked to anyone since he sat down to the table, but the lie was worth it, because the girls expressions dropped slightly, “You know men are usually more desperate to get laid than women, I suppose it makes them say all kinds of things, doesn’t it, Mingi?”

Mingi’s jaw clenched as the two girls looked unsure as they looked back at him, and he chose to laugh it off as if I have said the funniest joke on Earth, leaning slightly forward as he looked up at me, “I suppose someone wasn’t really paying attention tonight to our performance.”

“Right,” I hummed and stepped around my chair, “I prefer listening to real bands and good music, not to some wannabes wailing to a crowd of drunken and high as fuck university students—have a lovely night!”

I only caught the irritated huff of air Mingi let out as I headed towards the bar, where Seulgi and Wooyoung were talking to some people I didn’t know. I didn’t want to disturb them for long, but I had to tell Seulgi I was leaving and would get my jacket before going home.

『You come and go in waves

Leaving me in your wake』

By the time I have gotten home it was very late and despite my body feeling tired, my brain was relentlessly swirling with thoughts and replaying tonight’s happenings, so after fifteen minutes of laying in bed and staring up at the dark ceiling I realized sleep wouldn’t come easy neither tonight. I sat up and turned on the lamp on my bedside table and grabbed my smaller and thicker sketchbook, flipping it open to an empty page. I sighed as I grabbed a pencil and pressed it against the paper softly, letting my wrist curve whichever way it wanted as I started doodling, humming to myself a melody which sounded slightly foreign yet somehow familiar. I knew I have heard it before, probably recently, but I couldn’t figure out just which song it was.

『You come and go in waves

Swallowing everything』

It didn’t take me long to have the outline of something, which was starting to look an awful lot like eyes staring back at me, and I continued tracing lines and shading in the spots where depth needed to be added. I licked my lips and narrowed my eyes as I pressed the pencil harder against the paper, tightening the frail lines and finalizing the quick drawing of the eyes. I extended my arm and stared at the eyes, which almost felt like they were glaring at me by how sharp its stare was, and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized the eyes looked nothing like Yunho’s. I couldn’t remember the last time when I drew anyone else that wasn’t Yunho and for some reason that scared me as my eyes bore into my drawing, my humming coming to an abrupt stop when I realized who’s song it was. Noir Zenith. And the drawing, the sharp and glaring eyes, were of Song Mingi’s. I gasped and without a second thought started scrawling at the drawing, heart racing and mind an awfully lot quiet. What was I thinking singing his song and drawing his eyes? But there it was, the answer, I wasn’t thinking. And I was sleep deprived. I needed to sleep, like right now. I threw my sketchbook to the floor and jumped back underneath my blanket, pulling it over my head as I screwed my eyes shut. Sleep, I must.

『Are you satisfied?

Love's the death of peace of mind

Mine

Mine』

❱❱ Next chapter

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psychwxrdd · 3 months

Text

Chapter II

The collector (1965)

Summary: Rafe Cameron is obsessed with y/n. Unable to make any normal contact, he decides to add her to his "collection" of pretty, preserved objects, in the hope that if he keeps her captive long enough, she will grow to love him.

REWRITTED: sorry for everyone who read it for the first time and saw "miranda" instead of "y/n", miranda is the name of the original girl in the book and movie, i automatically writted it!

It finally happened ten days later, as often happens with butterflies. What I mean is that sometimes we go to a place where we think we will find a rare specimen, and nothing happens, but some other time, when we are not looking, we see a wonderful specimen on a flower, right in front of our nose - offered with a spoon, as they say.

That night, I was outside the subway station, as usual, with the car hidden in a side street. The day had been pleasant and warm enough, but almost suddenly it had started to rain and thunder. I then saw her climb the steps of the station, without a cape or any other protection. She was only wearing a skirt and blouse. I went after her, knowing that it would be of no use, as I had no idea what she was doing. Then, suddenly, she turned onto a larger street and headed towards a cinema. Came in. I immediately understood what had happened. Y/n had called home saying that it was raining a lot and that she was going to a movie to give the rain time to pass.

I knew then that my moment had come, unless someone came to meet her. As soon as she entered, I asked the doorman what time the film ended. Within two hours. I took a serious risk, perhaps to give fate a chance to stop me. I went into a restaurant and had a copious dinner. I then went to get the car and put it in a place where I could watch the cinema. I didn't know what to expect, it was possible that a friend would come and pick her up. I felt as if I were going down a river full of jumps and rapids: maybe I would run into a rock or, on the other hand, maybe I would escape safely. Y/n left the cinema alone, exactly two hours later. The rain had stopped and it was getting dark. The sky was full of clouds. I saw her walking home. I put the car in motion and overtook her, stopping at a place where she would have to pass. It was the place where her street curved and joined another. On one side, there were only trees and bushes and, on the other, a huge house on a vast plot of land. I believe the house was abandoned. The rest of the path was all lit up. Only this portion of the street remained in the dark. It was the only place that suited me.

A minute passed. She must have been appearing, walking quickly, as was her wont. If the night had been clear, I don't know what she would have done. But this wind blowing through the trees helped me. I saw Y/n and I also saw that there was no other person in the entire street. She passed me. How curious...

— I'm sorry — I told her — Do you know anything about dogs?

Y/n stopped, very surprised. - Why? she asked.

“A horrible thing happened,” I replied. — I ran over a dog and I don't know what to do. He's not dead. I looked at the back of the car, with a worried expression.

—Oh! Poor animal — Y/n commented. She approached me to see the dog, just as I had expected.

— There's no blood — I told her — but the dog can't move.

Y/n was now near the back door of the car, and I took a step back as if to let her see. She bent down to peer into the underside of the car. I quickly looked across the street. I didn't see a single person and decided to take action. I held her with one arm and, with the other hand, I took the cotton pad soaked in chloroform from my pocket and pressed it tightly against her mouth and nose. Y/n was so surprised that she didn't even scream, although she struggled mightily, writhing to try and free herself.

She started coughing and losing strength. I looked around me: nobody. I prepared to run away if someone suddenly appeared. Suddenly, Y/n became motionless — inanimate — I had to support her so she wouldn't fall. Not without difficulty, I dragged her into the rear compartment of the car. I closed the doors and laid her on the cane. Y/n was mine, and I felt very excited, knowing that she had managed to carry out my plans without, after all, encountering any major problems. Then, now calmer, with methodical and well-studied gestures, I placed the gag in her mouth and, as planned, tied her to the bed with the straps she had bought for that purpose. When I concluded the work, I went to sit and vote. All of that hadn't taken more than a minute. I put the car in gear and drove slowly to a place I knew.

Once there, I stopped again, examining Y/n's inert body more closely. I tied her better, so that she could not scream or beat with her hands and feet, also taking care to check that there was no possibility of her hurting herself. She was still unconscious, but she was breathing, albeit somewhat hoarsely, as if she had a cold, and that reassured me. I turned off the main road as I had planned, and on a small, lonely side road, I stopped the car to examine it. I placed the flashlight at a point where it illuminated the entire interior of the car. She was awake. Her eyes were wide open, but they didn't look scared. They even had a proud expression, as if she had decided not to look scared, no matter what.

“Don't be afraid,” I told her. — I won't hurt you." Y/n continued to stare at me. I felt truly embarrassed, not knowing what was going on.

- Feel good? Want something? I asked my darling, although, of course, they were stupid questions. What I really wanted to ask was if she wanted to leave for a moment. Y/n started shaking her head, and I quickly realized that she was telling me that the gag was hurting her.

“I'm going to take off the gag,” I replied. — We're a long way from the city, and if you scream, no one will hear you. But if you don't behave well, I'll put the gag back on you, understand?"

Y/n nodded, and I removed the gag, as she promised. At the same moment, she turned to her side as far as the straps would allow and vomited. It was horrible. The smell of chloroform and vomit mixed together and made me feel immensely nauseous. Y/n said nothing, limiting herself to coughing. I lost my mind; I didn't know what to do. I suddenly felt that I needed to get home quickly and I put the gag over her mouth again. Y/n struggled. I heard her say in a hoarse, anguished tone:

“No. no!" It was terrible, but I forced myself to continue, because I knew deep down that the best thing would be to get home as quickly as possible. I started the car again and we left. We arrived home shortly after ten thirty. I put the car in the garage and looked around to make sure nothing had happened during my absence, even though I knew very well that nothing could have happened. But all precautions were few. I went down to the basement, carefully examining Y/n's room: it wasn't very stuffy, as I had left the door open to air it out. I had slept in it one night to see if it had enough air, and it did. I had left everything ready to make tea and toast. The small apartment looked very comfortable and even elegant.

Finally, the big moment had arrived. I went back to the garage and opened the back door of the car. Everything went according to my plans. I untied her and made her sit down. She kicked around for a while, and I had to warn her that if she didn't stay still, I would be forced to use the chloroform again (which I showed her), but that it wouldn't do her any harm if she remained still. That calmed her down. I lifted her in my arms and carried her to the cellar without any difficulty. She was light like a feather, my little fairy. She struggled a little at the entrance to the room, however, there was nothing she could do to escape. I laid her on the bed. The work was done. Y/n's face looked weak, but there was no fear in her eyes. Strange. Y/n just looked at me, waiting for me to explain everything.

— This will be your room — I informed her. — Do as I tell you, and you will not come to any harm. It's not worth shouting. Your voice won't be heard outside, and in any case, there won't be anyone to hear you. I'll leave you alone now, you has biscuits and sandwiches here and, if you like, you can make tea or chocolate. I'll come visit you tomorrow morning."

I said, caressing her hair slightly. The hair i wanted to touch so badly, for so long... She was so beautiful. I felt my eyes watering, i couldn't believe i finally had her. But for tonight, she needs to figure some things out, and i'll give her time to do it.

taglist: @pocozyc-april @h34rtsformilli 💕

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #dark rafe cameron x reader

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idkanametoputhere · 1 year

Text

Flinches

type: angst

pronouns: they/them

hotel: trivago

tw: mentions of scars, being hurt in general, mental and physical health collapsing, etc.

slight chapter 6 spoilers

reposting it

masterlist<3 part 2

the prefect of ramshackle, a student that had a good relationship with pretty much everyone they interacted. known for being confident, self-assured, strong and above all fearless. or maybe irrational, who knows?

those are all positive characteristics that got them known as a powerful cahracter amongst all Night Raven students, even though they were incapable of using magic. so it came as a surprise to some students when someone raised their hand to high-five them and they flinched

but it wasn't weird, in fact, if someone really knew the prefect, they would've expected it

it started when they discovered that magic was a thing in this twisted universe they got teleported into. I mean, don't get them wrong, it was very cool but it was terrifying attending a school full of powerful magic users. and they couldn't even understand how magic worked, therefore in their mind, every move could be an attack against the weakest student in that school

and then they saw the horrible side of magic, overblots

the first overblot happened in the first month of them attending NRC. just as they were slowly getting used to magic, they saw how it could corrupt someone. and they felt guilty for driving the heartslabyul dormleader to the point of becoming the red rose tyrrant, as well as not stopping ace's actions

and so they helped as much as they could against the overblot. their quick way of thought and lack of fear, as well as their ability to keep everyone calm was essential to winning against riddle's overblot. he apologized and no one was too harmed

except from the prefect, whose body was not used to magic and therefore was more prone to being hurt by it. they didn't even realize it until later in the night when they took off their uniform just to see a big red mark around their neck, cause by the heavy collar of wrongdoings that riddle casts around one's neck, along with some tiny scars from the rose bushes

but it was okay, nothing a little makeup from sam's store or some proper injury treatment couldn't help with, right?

and then came the second overblot. and once again, feeling slightly guilty, the prefect helped with fighting off the overblot. the king of beast was a more difficult opponent, but the prefect wasn't scared. they had to stay calm so they could think clearly and therefore win against the monster they had helped create

and they won, and nothing was too bad. if you ignore the way one of their wrists was thinner than the other one, and redder, an almost hand-like imprint on it, almost as if someone grabbed their wrist and it started turning into dust. but it was okay, they just started wearing some gloves that reached up to higher up in their arms than their wrist, it was getting colder after all so it wasn't too weird

and of course, no one dared to speak a word of hiw the beloved prefect would sometimes wince when writing or how there had been multiple instances of them carrying something in their closed hand and drop it while holding their wrist

but the prefect was alright. yeah they were okay

the third overblot came quickly after this one and it made them wonder, how come they didn't consider this as a flaw in their plan? I mean, they had now learned that overblots were not that uncommon. how come the usually sharp prefect was not as collected as usual?

but that didn't matter, they had an overblot to stop. and they stopped it, with the only drawback being the few suction cup marks around their waist and torso and how they were constantly cold, shivering at any given point

but I mean, at least azul was okay, right?

and then there was the holiday break. it was the first holiday break that they wouldn't be spending with their parents. it was lonely to say the least. even the flaming cat-like companion of theirs could not warm their hearts

but the scarabia students did. they welcomed the prefect and their cat friend with open arms, making them feel at home. until of course it all came crashing down when jamil overblotted

and people werent there to help them. I mean, sure the octavenille trio was there but there was no one the prefect could feel comfortable with. but they had to win the overblot, they HAD to win it

and win they did, only a few permanent marks and bruises on their body being left as a reminder of how much they gave for the boys of twisted wonderland

their theory was only fuether proved during the festival. oh how they had forgotten of all the horrible things that happen in this world, they just wanted to see a friendly competition, like the ones they had back home

what they weren't expecting is to be poisoned. poisoned by the fairest queen himself, the person who they admired, poisoned by them. the bitter taste of the liquid they drank was one they'd never forget

but there they were fighting against the overblots once again, their forehead bleeding from a random piece of the stage that fell on them and their body slowly giving out due to the poison

but the overblot was defeated, the housewarden of pomefiore was back, the stage was fixed, the festival was continued and a cure for the poison was given to the prefect

but that cure could not take care of the scar on their forehead or the black veins that stared on their neck and ended on their stomach, like a spider web that permanently stained their body and blood with the horrible poison, that often gave them a lot of pain

but they had to move forward

they. had. to. move. forward.

and then there was idea's overblot. it was a shame really, the sob story of him losing his beloved brother and how he was to blame. almost made the prefect sad, you know if they weren't fighting for their life that is

but they fought and won and got the third-year back, and ortho took care of them. but he couldn't take care of the large burn marks that made it difficult for the prefect to move

but everything was fine

NOTHING was fine

the prefect looked at themself at the mirror one night after taking a shower, but they only saw a monster. full of scars, discolored body parts, marks. things that no one could heal

and the scars were not only physical

I wonder, how many times did the prefect wake up with horrible nightmares, a sick feeling to their stomach? or how many days did they collapse the moment they got back to ramshackle? and how many times did they talk to their friends through gritting teeth, the pain being overwhelming from them?

but no one noticed. hell, the prefect could bet that no one cared. but then it happened

someone tried to high five them and they flinched. they tried to play it off, but ended up running away in guilt and embarassment. but it was enough

oh it was enough

enough for the people who considered the prefect their friend to understand how fucked up they were. enough to make them understand hiw they had to try and help them

but the damage had already been done and it was irreversible.

original A/N: OMG I LOVE THIS I HAVENT WRITTEN SMTH THIS LONG IN A WHILE BUT I LOVE IT

new A/N: I'm reposting this cause it flopped last time but aanywho haha tumblr tou are so cool and good and nice and lovely please show my writing to ppl it took me 2 days to write this

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noa-ciharu · 6 months

Text

I'm not sure if I'm onto something here but this page/explanation plus everything that follows has always been suspicious to me

First and foremost: blood poisoning isn't most peaceful way to die, far from that. If poison is so lethal Dazai and Fyodor are supposed to die in 30 mins symptoms would have started showing right away - and yet throught whole Meursalut escape arc we see none. Not a single 'I'm feeling weak'. It's stated that Fyodor spent 5 mins just waiting for Chuuya to arrive so I'm really doubtful whole sequence of him and Chuuya nearly drowning, then killing time halting ability user, trying to drown Sigma and Dazai, Fyodor's and Sigma's confrontation and Fyodor's escape could have happened under 25 mins. Of course, it could be that whatever Nikolai gave them takes more than half an hour to kill a human but that still doesn't explain 1) why no symptoms 2) why neither Dazai nor Fyodor seem to be in the hurry to leave

Therefore my assumption is that whatever Nikolai gave them wasn't lethal in the first place.

But why lie then? Why organize the whole game to begin with?

Well, it's certainly challenging to determine motives of character as unpredictable as Nikolai. His absurdist life philosophy of seeking freedom by trying to escape himself and what makes him human certainly doesn't help the case. One of guesses can be pure entertainment, just for sake of it. For an entertainer it fits the bill. But I think there's more to it.

Except he doesn't really. By now we know whatever Fyodor's ability is that it isn't combat one - if Nikolai wanted to kill him he wouldn't necessarily need to know what it is. Not to mention Sigma can extract info from corpses, meaning they can kill Fyodor and then find out about his ability. While I'm certain Nikolai doesn't really want Fyodor dead, I can't claim with absolutely certain at that point in manga he's aware of that himself (of course he is after Fyodor 'dies' later on).

Much rather than that I think Nikolai is trying to kill what Fyodor evoke in him - feeling of being understood and wanting to understand other in return. That'll explain the game, trying to break Fyodor out of the prison without being too straightforward about it because he himself cannot decide what he really wants and stick by one decision, putting trust on test, wanting to know about Fyodor's ability and generally about Fyodor and so on.

While it's definitely arguable if Dazai would receive an antidote if he just killed Fyodor without actually escaping, it's also worth noting he was leisure with time (aka had time of his life soft bulling Sigma). Of course, chapter where Dazai talks with Nikolai post all the mess is yet to come out so it's impossible to tell in advance, but I have a hunch Dazai knew right from the start there's no danger of blood poisoning. Or at very least took gamble on that. Nikolai said something among "my apologies I have to poison you too but he (fyodor) wouldn't take the syringe otherwise" so it's clear right off the bat Dazai doesn't really hold his interest in that whole game. He's there for Fyodor and brought Sigma with him to extract information out of him.

As for Fyodor, did he knew blood poisoning wasn't a thing? Before chapter 111 I would have said yes given he too didn't seem to he in the hurry to escape, had no symptoms and didn't take the antidote right off the bat when Nikolai gave it to him. But then we have this:

Does Fyodor mean poison or game itself? My guess is poison because if latter that'd imply Fyodor expected Nikolai to help him break out of Mesaurlet which would imply broken trust. And we all know Fyodor and placing trust in others is like oil and water

To me Nikolai looks straightout dejected here. He's a performer that revels in these types of high stakes game, he should be grinning like a madman - but he's not. So in my opinion he was searching something from Fyodor here that he didn't quite get. It could be just in this scene/exchange or in whole game. But if my hunch that Nikolai was trying to get Fyodor out of Meursalut just needed Fyodor to place iota trust in him is correct, then Fyodor stamping over that hope and failing to see Nikolai's intention wasn't to kill him despite his theatrical proclaims it is would be reason for dejection. Whatever bids for connection he was looking in Fyodor likely won't be returned because of Fyodor's mistrust in people and abiding by cold rationale rather than intuition/emotions.

Therefore my conclusion is that whole Gogol game was a test:

- for Fyodor to put trust in others when he has no rational basis to (his major character flaw) - and that's precisely why he lost in the end. I could go miles here how Dazai put trust in Chuuya (and even Sigma) and how those bonds are very reason he managed to win but that's for some other time gives there's a lot to be talked about soukoku, I'd like to focus on doa trio here.

- for Sigma to realize the difference between being used and being of use, aka realize difference between transaction and a bond. I'd say he did well by placing trust in Dazai but it's yet to be seen if his decision to take Fyodor's hand was the 'right' one. His character arc ain't over, it heavily depends on what info he extracted from Fyodor so it's too early to tell how it'll go. Also this depends on Dazai's actions anime hasn't shown, like will he stick to his promise to save Sigma or not. Given promise he made to Oda 4 years before, I think it's definitely in character for Dazai to come back for him, fetch comatose Sigma and bring him to Yokohama.

- for Nikolai himself to realize what he wants to do with feeling of emotional/intellectual connection he deemed as 'imprisoning'. He's at conundrum himself what he wants to do with Fyodor: help him or kill him - accept the instinct or fight against it for no other reason than to oppose very self - lose sight of himself in the end just like Fyodor said. If we go by anime ending (I doubt manga one will be much diffrent), he came to realization how Fyodor changed his life and how he actually never wanted him dead but it was too late by then. Now haunted by realization only one who ever understood him and only person he ever felt connected to is dead, Nikolai will come to realize true hell of being imprisoned by own mind without means of escaping.

All three of them had some sort of downfall induced by their 'cardinal sins'; their own 'decays' as downfalls source from inner character flaws, so to speak.

#my ramblings #bsd analysis #bsd #bsd sigma #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol #dazai osamu #and i guess this is sort of #fyolai #bungou stray dogs

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natsaffection · 1 year

Text

My sweet Student. | part 1 | N. Romanoff

Prof!Natasha x Student!Reader

MINORS DNI!!! (18+!)

warnings: Age gap (natasha = 42 | Reader = 21), sex dream, spanking, school stress, more sex dreaming

Word count: 2229

A/n: Okayyy here it is! The first chapter (it’s very short but the next are getting better🏃🏻‍♀️)

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‎‎

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You moaned and squirmed in her touch.

"Do you masturbate?" asked Natasha suddenly. This intimate question humbled you even more, but you force yourself to answer.

"Y-Yes..."

"Then you know how it feels when you're about to climax?" She strokes your head and watches every single reaction from you.

"Yes..“

Natasha's fingertips slid just beside your entrance, caressing it. You ached for her touch, the desire stronger than anything you had felt before.

"You belong to me now. So your pleasure belongs to me as well. That means you will only have an orgasm if I allow you to, understand?"

"Y-yes." You cried now. You couldn't take any more. You needed her touch. You needed her fingers!

"Do you want me to touch you?" You both knew what she meant. "Please!" You shout.

"Then ask me to do it. I want to hear you beg." You swallow, searching for words. You would accept any humiliation from her.

"Please... touch me!"

‎

Your alarm clock rings and you immediately turn it off. you look up sweaty and realize that you are in your room and immediately start realizing what happened again. You dreamed about your teacher again. And not exactly pleasant..

You intended to study, but your mind had a different plan. You may be a bit relaxed right now, but the thought of your lessons is still in the back of your mind

And with none other than Natasha Romanoff. She's in charge of history and Russian and you wanted to impress her so badly. You didn't know why, but she's the reason you lay awake nights. And it's not just because of classes..

You get ready and run to school. You are lucky that your sister works near the school railing, so you could run just before time every time.

Arriving at your class, it was relatively relaxed at first. The teachers did their work and you did your notes. But the closer the class with Ms. Romanoff got, the more nervous you became. Your friend Kate, who was a new addition and you had the same vibe from the beginning, was already starring at you.

It was relatively funny. The two of you were sitting together at recess and suddenly Kate brought up a crush of hers. You were expecting a classmate, but then when she mentioned a teacher, you just looked at her in wonder. It was good to know someone who had the same view of someone older than yourself. So you knew that this friendship was going to be a good one.

"It's almost time..." You suddenly feel an elbow in your hip. Noup. It was a mistake to tell Kate everything, because now she always teases you, "Shut up! I have another hour..." You were a mess.

What if she looks at you again? Talks to you? Oh God, you can't talk to her...

Of course, since you'd been in your head all hour, the hour passed quickly and you found yourself back in another room. In Ms. Romanoff's room.

It wasn't any easier when you saw that Kate was once again sitting farther away than you and it wore you down.

You get all your stuff out and stopped short when Ms. Romanoff entered the class and closed the door behind her. She walked over to her table and sat down as well. She greeted the class and got right to work on the material. Once in the middle came something you had been missing,

"I had brought up several weeks ago the exam that will be written in a week and I want to go over the points with you." Okay. Nothing bad, right? Just a normal question hour where you're definitely going to hold back-

"To that end, please do assignments 1-7 and in the meantime, I'm going to call on a few of you and then we'll go over the questions from your side up front here together, understand?"

You see in the corner of your eye Kate look to you and you were destroyed. You and her? Sitting together at the front of a square meter table? Where's the nearest window? You started to panic. Holy, you're going to be sitting at a table with Ms. Romanoff..Looking into eyes....

"Let's start with you, Soph."

Oh thank God, you get to see from a distance what exactly is being discussed and done. You look behind your comrade and ahead to where Ms. Romanoff was looking at you. You quickly looked at your sheet and pretended to do the assignments. Ten minutes later, Romanoff called the next up. Seeing that she was busy again, you try to get everything out of Soph. Thus you throw something small on her and she looks to you, "What?!"

"Just very briefly! What did you guys talk about?" She looked at you, then forward and then she leaned in to you, "I don't know, just stuff about the assig-"

"Hey you two, what are you doing?" You guys got caught. You sit up straight again and apologize. Great. Now you caught wind of everyone. You started sweating and tried to focus on work. Until your name was called.

You slowly look up and got more pressure. Is everyone suddenly looking at you? Are you the only one in the room? You stand up and move to the front. You sit down and see Natasha looking at you. "So, how are you?" How am I? NO IDEA!

"G-Good!" Should I ask her too? "So about next week..." Okay, just forget about that.

You look at the sheet Ms. Romanoff pulled out and try to follow her movements, but it was a little harder than you thought. Why does she have such good fingers? Her movements are so smooth- "Are you listening to me?!" She looks at you and you turn red, "Of c-course!" Pull yourself together Y/n...You notice Natasha leaning further towards you, "Y/n, am I making you nervous?"

Now it's over. You kind of try to get out- "Look at me when I'm talking to you." And you do, anxiously, "Do I make you nervous?" You had two options. Lie or tell the truth.

"No..." You gathered everything inside you so you could say that simple answer, "Just tired." Well, that wasn't a complete lie. You notice how the older woman continued to look at you, practically piercing you with her stare. "You do realize I'm not stupid, right?" Now you're staring at her, "W-what?"

"Every time you see me, your eyes are wide in class. And then you'd catch on that you weren't paying attention. I have to admit it was cute." You suddenly felt something on your hip and look down so you could see it was your teacher's hands, "M-Ms Romanoff, I.."

"You don't have to say anything. I know what you want." This is what you dreamed about every night. That she-

"Y/n?" You look back at her and see her looking at you again, "Did you get that or do you want me to explain again?" Wait. You look around and realize that you are sitting in the front. You look down and see no more hands. Then it hit you.

‎

You were dreaming. AGAIN

‎

"Y/n what's wrong with you? Lately you seem..absent. I don't like that. I want all my students to pass this year, okay? So please drop what's distracting you."

That was kind of a mix of annoyed and worried. "Won't happen again, I promise..." She flips the paper back over and looks at the class book, "I'll count on it."

You stand up with soft legs and make your way back to your seat. What you didn't know is that Natasha's gaze was on you the whole time.

After 30 minutes, you continued to take notes, and noticing how Natasha kept an eye on you and your classmates all the time. Didn't she have anything better to do? Why is she just sitting there?! You don't understand the species 'teacher'.

Suddenly you hear the front of the chair move backwards and you notice Natasha walking between the aisles, "So. What we talked about will be important for later! I don't care if you write it all down, I just want you to understand the material and know how to apply it."

You're lucky you're doing well in school. Motivated as well, or you would have gone down mercilessly here. You look around and see how other students got a face of fear. You knew nobody would never understand it and everyone was afraid to ask Natasha for extra lessons. You don't bother and keep writing your notes until you feel someone in front of you. You slowly look up and see your teacher standing in front of your table.

She leans down and looks at your paper. "Good as always. However..." She took her index finger and taps on a sentence on your sheet, "You got the tense mixed up here, Y/n." You look down as well, noticing the heat starting to rise in your ears.

"I-I'm sorry Ms Romanoff, thank you..." She continued to look at you and a small smirk spreads across her lips, "Good girl, you can be counted on."

She straightens back up and continues walking. You realize it now that you had been holding your breath the whole time and let out a soft and quiet sigh. You look after Natasha and reflexively look down again when you see that she was also looking at you again.

When the class was finally over, you sneak in amongst the crowd and successfully make it out of the room and Kate now jostled you from the side. "So it wasn't that bad, was it?" Not that bad? It's not like you dreamed your teacher taking you in front of the class. She was calling you a good girl, AND starred at you the whole Time!

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——————

‎‎

You both make your way home and say goodbye, outside your door. You watch behind as Kate walked herself home and you close the door. You went into your room and threw your bag in the corner.

You lay down on your bed, a little exhausted, and stare at the ceiling above you. Why are you like this? Why do older women turn you on so much? Maybe it's just Natasha? That's a good thing, right?

Speaking of. Is she single? Fuck, is she even into women? Oh god, what if she's married and had kids?

You frantically turn to your side and pull out your phone. You open up various social media sites to possibly find her. Aaaaand after several hours you actually had her on your phone. You sit up startled and click on her profile only to be disappointed because she is private.

Never in your life will you press "follow". Never! Yet you want to see the pictures, fuck!

You look at her profile picture and see her face. Perfect as always. Long red hair, perfect skin and her lips..

‎

"You do realize I'm not stupid, right?"

‎

You hear her voice in your ear canal again and shudder. Was that dreamed earlier too? Or was it reality?

You let yourself fall backwards again and close your eyes.

How much you wish it, it will never come true..Her? She as she takes you? With fingers, with toys, with everything? Man...you are desperate. Literally.

‎

"I know what you want."

‎

You close your eyes and let your mind wander.

And suddenly Natasha swung up behind you on the bed and grabbed your upturned hip with one arm to pull you toward her. She lashed out and gave you a slap on your butt, then another and a third, each more violent than the last. You gasped, but Natasha gave you only a brief pause to catch your'e breath, then her flat hand struck again. She slammed down hard on your butt, and though the fabric cushioned a good portion of the impact, she knew full well how the blow would burn on your bottom.

"You like that?"

"Y-Yes..." you groaned breathlessly.

Natasha wrapped her arms around your waist and grasped the button of your pants, which she undid in a single motion.

Again her hand whizzed down, slamming down on your reddened bottom, and the young woman in her hands squirmed and gasped.

"Can you still?"

A brief hesitation, then a convinced, "Yes, more!"

"Brave little one. Who do you belong to?" Asked Natasha.

"Y-You, please.."

Natasha began to penetrate you slowly, thrusting into you in a regular rhythm, curving her finger slightly and stimulating just the most excitable point.

Natasha had increased her pace and was now thrusting into your wet pussy with two fingers.

„Who owns you? Hm, little Girl? Tell m-“

Your thoughts were interrupted when your cell phone rang next to you, and you cry out in frustration. You reach for it and see that it was a classmate of yours. You roll your eyes and answer it.

What the hell, "W-What?!" you yell breathlessly,

"Hey Y/n, Have- Wait why are you so out of breath?"

Yeah maybe because I just jerked off to our teacher?!

"Sport. What is it!"

"Okay..Um, do you have the homework tomorrow for third period? I see-"

You're only listening with half an ear and with the other you're just trying to understand what you did a minute ago....

#natasha x reader #natasha smut #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanov smut #dom!natasha x reader #natasha romonova #the avengers #natasha

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archerandthefoxx · 7 months

Text

So I was up from 12am to 5am reading ACFTL and I honestly can't believe that it's over now. Like my brain can genuinely not wrap my head around it. The book I have been waiting for months. The series I've been reading since it was only ouabh. I honestly can't believe it's done now.

So these are just my thoughts on acftl: (SPOILERS BTW)

So I want to start with things I didn't like because I like to end things on a more positive note:

● There was a lot of potential for other things that Stephanie has hinted to in the past (just basically a lot of unanswered questions) that I can't simply believe isn't anything bigger:

> "too familiar nickname" when Jacks called her Little Fox for the first time. This had the potential to be something really big, but the fact that Eva has no connection to the fox is just leaving me confused (as in being the first fox or a reincarnation). Like how. Especially when it was heavily hinted to in the past.

> "heavier than an apple should've been" when Jacks threw an apple at Eva in ouabh. I don't understand what this was supposed to mean if it just ended up being nothing. Like why did it have to be mentioned

> An Evajacks wedding was heavily hinted to in ouabh (even the reverse dust jacket for bn acftl). I just would have liked to see that.

● For me, some of the plot points just felt very disconnected and not linked, to the point where it felt like just random things being stringed together. Like it felt like things were just happening, as if I was reading different books at the same time.

● Acftl kinda feels like after tbona, Stephanie went online and saw everyone's theories and aimed to do the exact opposite. Sometimes I felt so confused because it felt like random facts and points were just thrown at me. Or this felt like this was the original version that Stephanie wrote.

●Why was time personified constantly?

●Where was my boy, Luc? I love him and I missed him so much. I was waiting for him to pop up on the page or make a creepy/funny appearance ("Hello, Eva" - I always laughed when he pulled stuff like this).

●Even though she's not relevant, where was Marisol? You can't tell me she just disappeared. I would have just liked to know what happened to her.

●Aurora's role felt so random.

●The whole thing about Jacks's curse felt to simple and barely touched on.

●I would have liked a better answer on Jacks’s obsession with apples. Like I understand it was left like that on purpose but it would have been nice.

●I would have liked the return of Scarlet and Tella. They were the ones who sent Evangeline to the Magnificent North. It would have been nice to see them after all of that and Jacks and Tella could have gotten some sort of closure.

●I love how everyone was hell-bent on the fact that apollo is lysander. The fact that everyone believed Apollo was Lysander started to make me doubt it. When Lysander appeared on the page, I was surprised tbh.

● Tbona established their clear feelings for each other and acftl was them just accepting it.

●Anyways I need domestic evajacks. Like 20 chapters. The bonus epilogues healed me.

My theories that were actually right: ●Tiberius slashing Apollo’s back

●Aurora having some type of magic and being the true villain. I was so sure that she was obsessed with Jacks and placed the Archer's curse.

~"My turn" if you know, you know. Something I never knew I needed. And I need more. There is never such thing as too much Evajacks.

Me having mixed feelings about acftl hurts so much because I've been waiting for this book for so long (I've been reading this series since it was only ouabh). I haven't been able to wrap my head around the fact that this is the official book. Ouabh and Tbona were soo amazing. They were so magical and fairytale like and I cried after I finished acftl, not just because the series was over (because I did) but because it didn't live up to the expectations I had and the high standards that ouabh and tbona set.

This series will always and forever be the series I go back to when I'm sad. Regardless of how it ended, I loved it because Stephanie created a new definition of magic and fairytale for me.

#acftl #evajacks #acursefortruelove #jacks

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accirax · 4 months

Text

New Evidence Regarding DRDT's Chapter 2 Killer?

Hello again, everybody! As I continue on my journey of rewatching DRDT via stream, I continue to pick up on more and different things than I noticed the first time. The subject of this theory post is the letter, signed by Eden (even if it wasn't necessarily written by her), that she, Rose, and Whit put together before the second Class Trial began-- I want to take another look at it.

(CW for Despair Time spoilers through 2-10 and mentions of suicide as described in Arturo's secret)

This note is a highly important piece of evidence, and I would expect that anyone invested in trying to solve the case is pretty familiar with its contents. However, I want to highlight exactly what the killer had to know in order to put this note together.

There is someone in the cast who has a motive secret that someone was "responsible for the death of [his/her] sister."

Eden was the recipient of this person's secret.

Eden didn't mean to tell this person, but it slipped out.

This person threatened to do something to Eden.

Arei promised to be Eden's friend.

Like I said, shouldn't be too much of a shock to any of you. However, what I really want to draw attention to is the first bullet point: someone is responsible for the death of his or her sister.

Why am I drawing attention to it? Because the last time Eden or Arturo says anything even close to a family member dying is here... (11:31)

...before Arei arrives. (12:44)

(The last time anyone actually says "sister" is Eden at 11:13.)

But, why is the time of Arei's arrival such an important distinction?

The thing is, most killer theories I've seen for anyone other than Eden or Arturo account for the killer being able to write this note by listening in to the conversation through the door. What I'm trying to say is that there's a contradiction there that I, at least, didn't notice until just now:

If the killer, listening in through the door had to know that the secret Eden received was about Arturo being responsible for the death of his sister, they had to be listening in before Arei arrived, because that is the only time in which Arturo's secret is discussed in enough detail to mention a family member dying. However, when Arei arrived, she had to walk right past and through the door.

This is what the door to the outside of the Infirmary looks like. There is no way in hell that Arei wouldn't have been able to see anyone who was walking by or listening in while she was doing the exact same.

So, what would this mean? Well, it would mean that only Arturo, Eden, and possibly Arei (depending on when she got into earshot of the door) knew enough about Arturo's motive secret before the murder to include all of those details in the note.

Or, at least, that's the boldest version of the claim. However, there are some counterarguments.

The first is that other people could have known if Arturo, Eden, or possibly Arei told somebody else about what happened and mentioned the detail about Arturo's secret. However, I don't believe that any of the three of them would have done that.

Arturo very clearly did not want his secret to get out, and seemingly didn't even want to believe that the death was his fault in the first place. Threatening Eden and making an enemy of Arei also make him look really bad. Both factors combined make it very unlikely that Arturo would want to tell anyone that this happened.

Eden also didn't want to tell anyone about what happened because she was afraid of Arturo finding out, as is clear in the Class Trial. Additionally, if she did want to tell someone so that they could help protect her from Arturo, it probably would have just been Arei. Thus, the information wouldn't have spread any farther than just Arei again.

Arei is definitely the iffiest option, but I still find it hard to believe that she would have told anyone about this occurrence. Firstly, it's already debatable whether Arei heard the specifics of Arturo's secret in the first place. Secondly, Arei probably would have had respect for her new friend and not wanted to share this traumatic event and put Eden in danger. I guess it's possible that Arei could have tried to tell someone about what happened to try to rally a larger movement against Arturo, and then that single person turned around and decided to kill Arei (thus leaving no innocent person who would want to bring up that Arei talked to them in the Class Trial). But, that's... a bit of a stretch. Plus, even if Arei did that, why include the specific details of what Arturo's secret was about?

The second option is that the killer could have planted some kind of bug or other listening device into the Infirmary so that they could overhear the conversation from afar. However, given that we have been given literally no advanced warning that a device like this can even be obtained within the set, much less that anyone actually used one in that location, I'm tossing this objection out, too.

And no, I don't think J's remote could have accomplished something like that, either. Not without an actual listening device already in the room.

The final possibility that I've thought of is that someone could have overheard the conversation from somewhere other than the doorway, which holds a lot more weight. Let's take a look at what's around the Infirmary.

Based on the map, I think the only places that are possibly close enough to the door of the Infirmary are the doors of the Cafeteria or Bathroom (Wash Closet; WC). Recall that, given the private nature of the conversation and that Arei is shown pushing the doors open in the CG, the doors were probably closed. Thus, anyone listening in would have needed to hear the conversation from behind at least one set of closed doors.

Let's start by quickly ruling out the Bathroom. I'm operating on the assumption that, if you can hear something going on in the Infirmary from where you are, people in the Infirmary could hear what's going on in that location, too. If people could hear what's going on in the Bathroom all the way from the Infirmary... Well, that's some pretty shitty architectural design, pun intended.

The Cafeteria is a viable location, though. In fact, we've already confirmed that you can overhear a conversation going on in the Cafeteria from the Infirmary.

So, using the same logic I described earlier, if Teruko could hear something in the Cafeteria from the Infirmary, it stands to reason that you could hear something in the Infirmary from the Cafeteria.

However, this argument still has its issues as well. The thing that Teruko (and Xander) overhear in this scene is, funnily enough, Arei arguing with Eden over not being invited to bake with her. It is described in multiple lines as a very loud event.

While I don't deny that a panicked Eden, a shaken Arturo, and an infuriated Arei could have been quite loud, all of those things, once again, happened after the last time that Eden or Arturo said anything about a dead family member. It's impossible to tell for sure given that the prior part of the conversation isn't fully voice acted, but it's implied that everything Eden says about Arturo's secret is in a regular, or possibly even hushed, tone of voice. If someone only started listening in after things got loud, they would not have heard about Arturo's secret in detail.

Additionally, there are the logistics of who would be sitting in the Cafeteria. Given that nobody else has stepped forward and shared that they overheard this conversation as well (even under potential penalty of death), it seems reasonable to assume that no innocent student overheard what happened in the Infirmary. Therefore, conversely, if any student(s) did overhear the conversation, they were probably involved in the murder somehow. I'm sure you could argue some fringe cases, but this is the general rule.

Unfortunately for this argument, though, the majority of scenes in the Cafeteria have many people present in them, whether due to partaking in a meal or a fight. Overall, that makes it unlikely that someone would be in the Cafeteria by themselves or with only one or two other people. That's not always the case, though, so we can't rule out only a few people being in the Cafeteria!

Can we try to further pin down the time period when this confrontation occurs to try to figure out who could or could not have been in the Cafeteria?

Eden tells us that this confrontation happened on "the day Nico tried to kill Ace" and "the day that Arei and [Eden] had a falling out," which, by my notes, is Day 6. Arturo never challenges this notion, and it also lines up with Eden being afraid that someone is following her on the night of Day 6, so I think that this is true. The canonical events that Teruko takes part in during Day 6 are:

Teruko plays with cacti and gets caught by Eden

J and Arturo, Nico and Ace, and Arei and MonoTV fight

Charles' secret is revealed

Eden tries to host a clock decorating event

Arei has her breakdown and David comforts her

Teruko confronts Rose about her secret

Nico threatens to kill Ace

Nico's secret is revealed and Hu and David comfort them

J drags Teruko into a closet to get away from Arturo

Teruko runs into Eden in the Dress Up Room

Ace is nearly murdered and tries to confront Nico afterward

The events highlighted in green are the only ones of the day that none of Arturo, Eden, or Arei are in. Given that all of them were present for the confrontation, it could not have happened simulataneously with any of the other events.

If the confrontation occurred while Teruko discussed Rose's secret with her (and Nico was there), the killer could really be anyone other than Teruko, Rose, or Nico. Anyone who we didn't have eyes on theoretically could have been in the Cafeteria at that time.

If the confrontation took place while Nico was threatening to kill Ace, however, I doubt that anyone would have been able to listen in on the Infirmary conversation over that cacophony. Therefore, for the sake of someone listening in, that option should also be eliminated. If it took place while Hu and David were comforting Nico, things would look bad for Levi and Rose, as they were both still in the Cafeteria after Teruko left. I know what I said about multiple students in the Cafeteria probably all needing to be collaborators in the murder, but if it was Levi and an asleep Rose, perhaps Levi could have gotten away with eavesdropping by himself?

Despite all of that, though, I think that Arturo's relatively calm and normal (for him) demeanor during the closet scene would speak to the notion that he hadn't just heard that Eden knew about his sister's suicide. Therefore, I believe that the confrontation likely occurred between Teruko's two trips to the Dress Up Room, when she "spent the rest of the day in her room resting." That would line up both with Arturo's claim that he was just "in the middle of something with Julia" (Teruko saw them together just beforehand), give Arei more time to cool down and reflect after her big afternoon, and put the time of the confrontation very close to when Eden is worried about someone following her. (Although, it does give Arturo less time to have "been following" her, assuming that comment was about him.)

That would also give pretty much anyone the chance to have been in the Cafeteria, because Teruko wasn't with anyone at that time. However, it may have been during a pretty dinner-y time, which decreases the odds that anyone would have been in the Cafeteria alone or nearly-alone.

If all that wasn't enough, here's one final wrinkle: whoever witnessed all of this happening would have overheard Arturo threatening Eden and decided not to get involved themselves. It's not a total nail in the coffin, given that I would assume most theories in which the killer overheard the conversation require them to have not attempted to help Eden for one reason or another. But, it is something to consider. Personally, I have a particularly hard time believing that J, #1 Arturo Hater, and Levi, adventurer on the quest of being a good person in the same vein as Eden, wouldn't have tried to stop what was going on if they'd heard.

So, in summary, if the person who wrote the note is not Arturo, Eden, Arei, or someone working very closely with them, they have to be someone who was in the Cafeteria probably alone at the time of the confrontation (assuming Eden's words were even loud enough to be overheard from across the hallway through probably closed metal doors), who decided not to step in to save Eden.

What does that mean? Well, I think that it means that it's very likely that Arturo or Eden is the killer, because having all of those dubiously possible clauses happen to fire off all at once seems implausible to me. But, I already thought that Eden was the killer, so it may just be confirmation bias. Otherwise, since we can't pin down the exact time of the confrontation, I don't think it actually helps us to fully eliminate anyone from the running-- other than, arguably, Teruko. I do urge everyone who thinks that someone other than Eden or Arturo is the culprit to consider this data when coming up with their theories, though.

However, I will end this on the note that all of this deductive reasoning is... incredibly nitpicky. At the end of the day, the crew behind DRDT is very small, and I would understand if the exact details of where and when what parts of Arturo's secret were said or what exactly the Infirmary door looked like were things that they didn't take into account when planning out the murder.

I've seen some critics say about recent YouTube indie animation shows that the long hiatuses between episodes give the shows an unfair disadvantage. That's because the long gaps allow fans to scrutinize every detail of the worldbuilding and characterization and find their holes for far longer than a network television show would between episodes. While DRDT is not exactly one of these indie animation pilots, it is a YouTube show created by a small team of independent creators. I can only imagine that they may be facing the same thing with having to take a break mid-trial. If that's the case, and what I've presented here contradicts what actually happened in Chapter 2, know that I don’t hold it against DRDTdev at all, and don’t think you should, either. I would apologize for pointing out this “mistake,” if you can even call something this minor that.

However, I also think that all of this might be possible, perhaps even on a coincidental/subconscious level, because Eden or Arturo is the killer, and DRDTdev didn't think too much about the logistics of how someone else would overhear the conversation. So for now, I'm considering all of this logic as reasonable theorywork.

If you have any rebuttals though, whether about a specific character or the premise in general, I'd love to hear them! Or, if I missed some detail in the story in general that blows this theory to smithereens entirely, I wouldn't love to hear that, but it would probably be good if I did.

Otherwise, thank you for reading, and have a lovely rest of your day! :D

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #eden tobisa #arturo giles #arei nageishi #fanganronpa #sorry for going back to drdtposting when it's supposed to be milgo time i was simply watching the stream and had this epiphany #and needed to write it out #can't remember if i've said this on blog before but how it often works with me is that i have no ideas then i am struck with an idea #and then i CANNOT do anything else until i've written the idea out #i think i might've said that on the archetypes post? well it's still true so #every day i come up with eden propaganda. sorry queen #my theories #cw suicide mention

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creedslove · 11 months

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DESERVE IT - PART SIXTEEN

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Not even all the domesticity with Javier in the world is capable to keep the two of you together once his connection with Los Pepes is discovered

Warnings: angst, hurt, mentions of smut, incorrect narcos plot and a little bit of fluff but overall just angst

A/N: this chapter made me sad, I love this story and I'm sad this chapter happened, it made me tear up a little, but it is important for our story besties, I just hope you will like it 😿

• PART ONE TO FIFTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

3.8k words

You made sure to wake up very early the next morning, your heart couldn't take the love you were holding at that moment. Javier had asked you to marry him.

And you had said yes.

You still couldn't quite believe it, your head ached a little from the wine you drank the night before, but it was way better than you expected, after all that went on as well, you thought you'd be dead in the morning.

The amount of alcohol you had, the argument with Steve, then the situation with Javi followed by his disappearance and the mind blowing sex you had together and finishing things off with a marriage proposal. You were undoubtedly exhausted.

After he proposed to you and you said yes, you shared a passionate kiss. It was tender and gentle, sweet and it spoke so many words about your relationship without having to use words, and then Javi took you as his again, only this time he wasn't fucking you, he was making love to you, because you weren't just any woman and you weren't only his girlfriend, you were now officially his soon to be wife. A wife he wanted and craved because he wanted to marry you, he wanted to build a life with you, and not because he felt pressured into doing it, but because you were the one he wanted to share his life with.

Of course you weren't engaged yet, it wasn't official in the sense of having an engagement ring or setting a date for the wedding, but it was official enough for the two of you. Javier's mother's ring was in a box in the bottom of his wardrobe, but you didn't mind if he hadn't handed it over to you, it was a beautiful memory he kept from his mom, you knew how painful it was for both Javier and his dad when she passed and as much as a hard moment like that could help them narrow their bond, it seemed it only split them apart further.

And after what happened in his first engagement, when Lorraine refused to return him the ring and he almost lost it, you would perfectly understand if he got scared of giving it to another woman.

But Javier had asked you to marry him and that was all that mattered to the two of you.

Javier had serious commitment issues and if he had overcome all of it, it was because he was ready to tie the knot with you. You couldn't deny the pride you felt to know you were the one who made Javier's heart beat faster, he didn't escape you like he escaped others, you weren't just a fuck for him, you were going to be his wife, you were sure, because he would never ask something like that just because, it had a meaning to it, you knew it.

You were going to marry Javier Peña. That spread a heat across your reddening cheek and it made you giggle like a teenager, making you so distracted as you didn't even notice the moment Javi got up and walked to you.

He didn't bother putting on clothes other than his jeans and walked to the kitchen after you, a soft smirk on his lips as he remembered how you said yes to his proposal. He was a happy man that morning, despite everything bad that was happening in his job and in the country. Not even his fight with Steve bothered him, because all that mattered was that he was going to be a married man and you would be his beautiful sweet wife.

Just his arms snaking around your body as he kissed your neck without warning and making you squeal in surprise "distracted, cariño?" He raised his eyebrow at you and you chuckled softly "a little yes… good morning mi amor" you replied immediately turning around and watching his shirtless figure, one hand on his shoulder and another one on his waist. His broad naked chest and his cute belly just there, exposed for your enjoyment. Javier was a beautiful, handsome man, and as he was aware of his charm, you wondered if he knew how handsome he really was.

He licked his lips softly and looked at you, feeling a little unnerving as you would barely blink while looking at him and he felt… shy?

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked but you shook your head and chuckled

"No, I'm just admiring you because you are handsome"

Javi ran his hand through his hair and looked down, yes, he was definitely feeling shy. He cleared his throat and looked at you "stop mariposa" he eyed over your shoulder and bit his lips as he saw you were making breakfast. It wasn't his turn to make pancakes, instead, you were making him eggs and bacon.

His mouth watered at the sight of it, he couldn't resist that breakfast, just like he often ate when he was growing up at the ranch and he couldn't believe you were making that. He smirked at you "practicing to be a wife?" He raised his eyebrow and tried stealing a bacon bit, but you slapped his hand away.

"You can bet your cute ass, I am, Javier and my first action as a wife is sending you to shower because after all we did last night, you are sticky with sweat" you said as your hand ruffled his greasy hair.

Javi chuckled and shook his head "no seas tan mala conmigo" he mumbled and slapped your ass, making you squirm before walking to the bathroom.

A shower later, Javi had also shaved and trimmed his mustache. He had great expectations for that day. After all the shit he did the night before, Judy had promised him she would go down to the embassy and would confess, ratting on all the other crime lords that brought so much terror to the country.

It would be either that or she would go to the american press and rat on Javier instead. And then, his career would be over if he got lucky. If he didn't, he would simply go to jail.

So he hoped really hard the only possible option would be to welcome Judy at the embassy. He couldn't afford to have her tell the Miami Herald about the link to Los Pepes, it wouldn't take the DEA long to connect the dots and figure out which long term agent she would be talking about. As he dressed himself in his good suit - the one Steve often called Messina suit - he thought of how things had to work out that day. It was the only option, he couldn't just have that screwed up, his future depended on that, your future together depended on that. He knew Pablo's situation was getting tight and it would be a matter of time to catch him. Peña had thought of how ironic life really was. The biggest monster in Colombia had found his ruin once he got separated from his family. It always baffled Javier how a man who could do the cruelest things, could also be a loving husband and father. Of course it was common for every agent to know about Pablo's escapades and his collection of mistresses, his own wife probably knew about it and pretended she didn't, that was a part Javier didn't quite get, he understood the appeal, the power Escobar had and how he could have any woman in the country just because he was himself, and women wouldn't deny him, either for money or by fear. But at the same time, he'd seen surveillance photos enough times to know his wife was a beautiful woman, she'd given him two children, a family and he just couldn't understand how Escobar could jeopardize that for a couple of hours of fun with someone else. Of course, she probably didn't have much choice, she was married to him for life, and he would never let her go. When you marry a narco, it is literally till death do us part.

Javi didn't approve that, he wasn't a cheater and despite what everyone thought of him, he didn't just go and cheated on his girlfriend, of course most of his relationships didn't last long, but the moment he ever got bored, he just broke things up, it was better than making them suffer in the long run. The only he couldn't bring himself to do it was Lorraine, he was young and stupid, clueless and thought he would be able to go through a marriage with her, and when he was finally honest with himself and saw that no, he wouldn't be able to go through a marriage with her, he left her at the altar.

It was a horrible thing, a real dick move and he regretted that every single day even if he had already asked her for forgiveness so many times, he still felt bad about doing that to her. Even more so when he learned you had been through the very same thing. He got nauseous to know in a sense, he was the same as your ex-fiance was. It was something horrible to do, but Javi still think it was better than putting Lorraine through a loveless marriage, she was a good, decent girl, beautiful and she dreamed of a family, a family she got when she married her current husband, a man who really appreciated her unlike Javi, and that turned out for the best because she found someone she loved and years later, Javier found you.

He finished with his tie, groaning softly as it was early in the morning, he'd just left shower and he was already starting to sweat. He hated wearing suits and above all, he hated wearing them in Colombia.

But he would never hate the way you stared at him when he wore one. Ever since you arrived in the country, when you two were nothing more than just friends, you couldn't keep your eyes off him, he always thought it was amusing how you would look at him. And that was exactly the look you gave him once you spotted him walking towards you.

You really thought that after you and Javier got together, he would stop having that effect on you, but it turns out it hadn't ceased at all.

You were still mad for Javier, there was no way to fight it.

So you completely ignored the table you had made for him and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his lips deeply, before going to his beautiful sharp jawline.

You giggled and chuckled as his hands went around your waist, gripping you and pulling you closer to his body.

"So, are you dressed for our wedding?" Your raised your eyebrow and Javi nodded

"Yeah, and where's your wedding dress? Not that I'm complaining to marry you in my shirt and panties, but I think the guests would be a little shocked" he laughed softly and you slapped his chest playfully.

"Come on, I made you breakfast like a sweet little housewife, Peña, the least you can do is to sit down and have it" you pouted and watched as he saw on the chair, immediately going for his lap and getting comfortable.

You rested your head on top of Javi's feeling his soft hair on your chin and the scent of his shampoo as he began eating. You were so happy you wish you could just take him away from all the chaos and stress of DEA and hide away with him for a while. Maybe you two needed vacation, or maybe you two needed to go on your honeymoon already.

Javi moaned as he tried your breakfast, he knew he was a shitty cook and you only liked his pancakes because they were made by him, but your bacon and eggs were the best thing he ate for breakfast in so long.

He used his fork with his right hand as his left hand rested absentmindedly on your thigh, still tracing invisible lines on your skin with the tip of his fingers. You smiled at yourself, but Javi sighed deeply, putting his silverware down and holding you by the waist, as he indicated for you to sit on the chair next to him, he needed to look at you, into your eyes and be honest with you.

Javi took your hand, caressing gently and took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you what happened last night…" he licked his lips softly and began his account. He tried ignoring the worry and the fear in your eyes and didn't spare you any details. Javi wanted to protect you from everything bad in the world but he knew he couldn't. So as long as he could keep you physically okay, he decided he wouldn't hide any information from you, he wouldn't keep secrets, if you were going to be his wife, then he would be brutally honest with you.

So he told you all about that happened, about Judy, about her promise of going to the embassy and how she would rat on Javi in the american press if things didn't work.

You shook your head, so many questions and comments nearly rolling down your tongue, but you held yourself, you wanted Javier to tell you everything, you had the impression he was venting, he was letting things out. For the first time he was honest about all the implications that could happen to him and once Javier was done. You were at a loss of words, so the only thing you thought of doing was kissing him.

It was the best way you could show him support and he understood it perfectly, kissing you back, he accepted your offer. You both understood each other like no one ever would.

You washed the dishes as Javi apologized to you for not giving you a ride, but he would go straight to the Embassy earlier than you would go to the office. You shook your head and made sure to remind him not to worry about you at all, you would be fine, and you also told him he would be fine, even if you weren't so sure, you had to be supportive, so you pecked his lips and wished him good luck as he walked out the door.

•••

You were almost finishing getting dressed, as you put on your earrings and some lipstick when someone knocked on your door. You thought it was odd as you didn't really get visitors and neither did Javi, but you needed to check who it was, maybe it was just someone who missed the right door or even the mailman, you had no idea, but you would definitely check the peephole, as Javi had taught you and insisted you never opened the door to anyone you didn't know, especially at his place. He had a deep, dark fear of you being caught in an ambush meant for him. You shook those scary, depressing thoughts as you walked to the door, taking a look at the peephole just like he'd told you many times. You sort of chuckled to yourself: he would definitely be proud of you.

But you were in no mood to chuckle, as you saw Steve standing there. You groaned and the annoyance of his presence was intense. You want to ignore him, pretend no one was at home at the same time you wanted to open the door and let him know what you thought of him. And it wouldn't be flattering, that was for sure.

"Come on Y/N, open the door. I need to talk to you right now. Please" he asked and rubbed his forehead, sighing sadly "first of all, I want to apologize for being a dick, for offending you but I want to talk to you about Javier" he added "it's important"

You thought of turning your back and finish getting dressed, but at the same time your attention was caught by his words. If it was about Javier, it concerned you.

You sighed, taking a deep breath and opened the door, letting him in and looked at him

"What about Javi?"

"Y/N, I want to apologize for what I did to you last night, I was really bad to you, I shouldn't have said those things, you were always nothing but nice and sweet to me, you've always helped me and you are so nice to my wife and kids, I'm sorry if I ruined our friendship, but I was mad at Javier. I was fucking out of my mind, and I drank too much and I wanted to hurt him and I knew I would hurt him if I hurt you too" Steve sighed "I'm worried… I don't think Judy will give in, she is probably in Miami now, and the moment her interview hits the street, the DEA will be able to connect Javi with her accusations… he'll probably lose his badge, and he'll go to jail…" he sighed "Javier is my friend too, he's the closest thing I have to a best friend and I don't want to see that happening to him"

You nodded and bit your lips.

You didn't know what was going to happen, but you felt a killing anxiety in your heart and all you wanted was to get to the end of the day and meet your handsome boyfriend.

You spent your hours at work unable to focus, no one could provide you any information in order to calm you down a little. Colleen was a useless skank, all she did in that office was gossip about everyone else and hit on Javier; Steve had gone to the Embassy too, though he would be back as the tactical team was working on another ambush for Pablo.

Manu walked by your desk a few times, handing you papers here and there, but besides addressing you in such a businesslike manner, he didn't give you the time of the day.

You were so anxious at some point you caught yourself with your fingers close to your mouth, one step away from biting your nails. But you stopped yourself, thinking of how Javi loved your well-painted nails. The sweet reminder brought a smile to your face and the sense of calmness to your heart. Even if you knew it wasn't going to last, you were still thankful for it. The hours dragged themselves and you felt every single minute you spent trapped in that office was pure torture, you wanted to reach out for Javi and call him, even if it was only to hear his voice, you wanted that purring voice calling you cariño or princesa, or any other pet name that made your heart race. You even thought of going home earlier, but it wouldn't work as Javier would always arrive later than you.

You then forced yourself to work, bury your head into a pile of papers, reading, analyzing, correcting and redoing the process over and over. If you did that enough times, you promised yourself you would feel a little better, by being distracted.

And it worked, it worked to the point you only realized you were the only one in your office when you lifted your head up and looked around to see the other desks empty and the dark outside the window, but that didn't stop you, you drowned yourself into more work, now not wanting to face the possibilities and results of Javi's actions, you just couldn't lose him.

And you worked some more, only stopping when you smell the cigarette smoke and some steps walking to your table.

He'd lost his suit jacket somewhere, his tie was loosened and he didn't look you in the eyes.

"Cariño… I-I'm going to Washington"

•••

The two days that passed were nothing much than a blur to you, that bitch known as Judy Moncada had escaped to Miami and given her her interview. It didn't take a genius to figure out which long term DEA agent she was talking about, so the Board Of Professional Conduct wanted to see him immediately. You tried to be your best to your boyfriend, the two of you knew things wouldn't be easy from that moment on and you didn't want to show him you were gutted, even though you were. You just didn't want to add more guilt to him, he was already going through a bad enough situation, Steve was now really close to catching Escobar and after giving years of his life in order to chase him down, he was about to miss it.

He was just facing a nerve-wracking situation, Javi couldn't even sleep for the past couple of nights, he would smoke one cigarette after another and no matter what you told him, he was distant.

You didn't know if he wanted to push you away or if he was just doing it unconsciously, it broke your heart to think of the little time you had to spend with him would be so impersonal. You wanted to cry, to scream at him, at the same time you also understood the turmoil of feelings he went through.

You even went to Messina's office to beg her for the position she'd previously offered you in the US, so it would be a lot easier for you to be with Javi if you stayed in the same country, even if he left the DEA.

The night before his trip, Javi pulled you to his body, he looked you into your eyes and asked you for forgiveness, for every single thing he had ever done to you, from the time you were just friends, to when you guys simply became nemesis, and then when you finally admitted your love for each other. Javi made you promise him you would call and write to him, and he would do the same. He also made you promise that one day you'd marry him.

So he got on his knees and opened a small ring box, offering you his mother's ring as your engagement ring.

You'd said yes and kissed him deeply, not getting enough of him even when he was buried deep inside of you. You two had made love that night, but nothing ripped your heart apart than taking him to the airport.

The way he gripped your body and didn't want to let go even when the passengers of his flight were being called and he shot you his puppy eyes one last time before boarding on the plane and leaving you.

You were still stronger than you thought you would be, breaking down only when you got to his apartment, seeing how empty it was now that Javier was gone.

____

A/N: THIS CHAPTER HAS MADE ME UNBELIEVABLY SAD, LIKE MY HEART IS HEAVY KINDA SAD 😭😭😭😭 IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN, I'M JUST SAD

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meganwritesfanfics · 5 months

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Clandestine Meetings (Joel Miller x Reader) Chapter 1

Next Chapter

Joel Miller x Reader

Joel's life has been filled with darkness and despair. For years it has felt as though his life had been drained of all color. He never dreamed that he would find anything to change that. That is until one day he finds a girl who becomes his rainbow.

Word Count: 1552

Rating M: For later chapter. Right now it's just a meet-cute. Some angst from Joel, but kind of fluffy.

Honestly, I didn't expect to be making this series. I had planned a one-shot around the idea of this reader character. But when I started to write a small background scene, I realized how great of a series this could make. I have ideas of where I would like this to go, and I would love to hear your feedback and ideas, but I am very excited to get this started.

It had been a few months since Joel, Tommy, and Tess had found themselves inside the Boston QZ and Joel felt as if he was going stir-crazy. After years of roaming, it felt weird to be trapped behind walls, and to be trapped with the F.E.D.R.A officers was even worse. But things had changed, Tommy had changed. And Joel could see the wear of the years, and what the years had brought, on Tommy.

Not only that but Joel needed a change. He still knew that he would do anything to protect his brother, and now Tess. But having done horrible and despicable things to keep them safe, he needed somewhere that wouldn’t require him to destroy his own soul to do that. Plus it had also been years since he slept in an actual bed, even if it was just the shitty mattress that F.E.D.R.A had given them.

And while the work that F.E.D.R.A required it’s “citizens” to participate in was back breaking, demeaning, and horrific. Some days Joel didn’t mind it. It gave him something to do, distracted his mind, kept his hands busy. Not to mention it gave him many chances to meet knew “clients,” for his and Tess’ business.

Almost instantly when they had arrived Joel and Tess had started smuggling. It brought in a good income, plus they could trade for some otherwise impossible items from F.E.D.R.A. officiers. Plus Joel liked having some power over F.E.D.R.A officers, it made it easier to get out of scrapes, when his clients knew that if anything happen to him or Tess they would lose their suppliers.

But as the days, weeks, and months dragged on life seemed to fade into monotony. His life had already lost it’s color and light when he lost Sarah, but now it seemed to descend to a sad, depressing grayscale.

That was until he saw her.

He hadn’t even noticed her at first. Joel had been so tuned out to the world around him as he moved the bodies, he didn’t even see as the workers around him began to wander away. He just kept picking the bodies up from the truck, and dropping them in the fire. It was probably one of the worst jobs F.E.D.R.A had, but it paid and not many people chose it, so it meant that there were always slots open.

Suddenly he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He turned and his whole world stopped when he saw her. Joel wasn’t what you would call a romantic by any means, and after the shit he had been through, love or anything close to it had never even crossed his mind. But when he saw her, for a moment he felt his heart skip a beat. He felt as though his whole world was Kansas at the beginning of the Wizard of Oz, and this girl was his Oz. She beamed, even with all of the destruction around her, she gave off a feeling of comfort and warmth.

And there she was, standing around the workers, pouring out jugs of water into small tin cups. He could see beside her was a small wagon filled with even more jugs. He was taken aback by the act of kindness. Immediately his first thought was ‘what could she possibly be benefiting from this.’ Because of course no one in this world could act with genuine kindness their had to be a catch.

There was something about her though, for however much Joel’s heart ached at the sight of her, Joel’s mind hated her. How dare someone look so perfect, and happy with everything going on in the world. How dare she stir something inside of him that he never wanted to feel. How dare someone like her exist in this cruel and unforgiving world.

From that moment, Joel swore to himself that he would avoid her at any cost. Any time she came around with her cart of water, or even when she brought around food, he would hide in the shadows, or just walk off the job entirely, not even caring if he didn’t get paid. She made him feel something, something that terrified him, and Joel had vowed a long time ago to never let anything make him feel like that ever again.

But even with his hiding and running away, that didn’t mean he didn’t steal glances at her every time he had the chance. And the more jobs he took in town the more he saw her. He even tried taking jobs at early and late shifts, and yet she still was there. It seemed the harder the job, the more often she would show up throughout the day. And she wasn’t just there to pass out the water and food. Sometimes she would just show up for a moment of conversation. Joel would watch her as she talked with people, laughing with them, crying with them, pulling them into her arms for a comforting embrace.

And people would flock to her when they saw her, but not Joel. He still kept waiting for an explanation, some sort of answer as to why she was doing what she was. And he thought he had found it, when he saw her one day walking hand in hand down the street with a F.E.D.R.A officer, one of Joel’s best clients.

“That’s it,” Joel thought. “She must be pretending to gain people’s trust so she can sell them out to her F.E.D.R.A husband.” He had clocked the wedding ring on her finger early on. This was the only logical explanation he could come up with. Joel knew he had to keep an eye out for her, and make sure she never got close to him. And yet, he never told Tess or Tommy about her. The girl could be a threat to his buisness and lord knew Tommy was getting himself mixed in with a dangerous crowd. Even knowing this, he couldn’t bring himself to mention her.

All of that changed, one day he was working on street cleaning duty, it was the middle of summer and the heat was unbearable. Already three members of the crew had dropped and had to be carted away to a F.E.D.R.A hospital for heat exhaustion. And it must have been the heat that caused Joel not to be on his a game, and on the hunt for the girl. Because the next thing he knew he heard a beautiful voice behind him say

“Sir,”

He immediately turned and saw her y/e/c staring at him. There was a small smile on her face as she held out her hand which held a cup of water.

“Would you like some water?” She said and again the sound of her voice ripped through Joel and he almost shivered at the sound.

This was the first time she had ever approached him, of course, it wasn’t like he had ever given her a chance to. And in all the times he thought about her, and planned out what he would do if this happened, he never knew how he would feel when it did. He felt like he was a teenage boy again, with a crush on the most popular girl in school. And all he wanted to do was fall at her feet and worship the ground he walked on.

“It is a very hot day, and I’m sure some water would do you good.” She piped up again.

Joel just grunted as he reached out and took the water from her. He immediately averted his gaze on her as he took a drink. Not even truly realizing how dehydrated he was until he could feel the cool liquid coat his dry throat. Without looking at her again he handed her back the cup.

“Thank you.” She said and stopped and immediately looked at her.

“For what?” He snapped.

“I know these jobs aren’t easy, and I know you aren’t treated the way you all should be. So thank you.” She smiled, and she sounded entirely sincere.

For a moment Joel thought she must be an insanely good actress, but the more he looked into her warm and comforting gaze, he realized that she actually meant it. And maybe for the first time in years, hell a decade, he had met someone who was genuinely good.

“I’m Y/N.” She extended her hand out towards him

“Joel,” He responded back as he took her hand, the feeling of their skin touching felt electric.

And before he had a chance to say anything else, other workers had come up to her begging for food and water. With a chance at escape, Joel slipped away heading back into the street and back to work, but not before stealing one last look back at Y/N. To his surprise he found her look at him, and when their eyes met, Y/N smiled as her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and she quickly went back to looking at the people around her.

“I’m fucked.” Joel thought.

Next Chapter

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #grumpy x sunshine #tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut

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trubbishrubbish · 9 months

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Having some Martina thoughts. Spoilers for the whole game below.

So, chapter 4 reveals that Martina was still alive, The execution that was supposed to kill her was stopped by Makoto and Martina no longer loves Yomi. But a lot must have happened in the background before this point, mainly when Makoto stopped the execution and what happened immediately after.

For starters, Yomi is very surprised to see that Martina is still alive, this gives me the impression that Yomi assumed his execution order was already carried out and Martina should be dead.

Why didn't he double check with any of his peacekeepers to confirm that the deed was done beforehand? Perhaps he was too distracted dealing with the master detectives in chapter 3-4, or maybe Yomi cared so little for Martina that he didn't feel a need to check if she did die. If you toss trash into a garbage bin, do you really need to see if it's actually in there? That was likely his mindset.

Yomi issued the order the night after the Aetheria Academy case. The next morning all of chapter 3 occurs than the day after that is chapter 4. So about two days have passed since he issued the order, and he was surprised to see Martina alive the night of the second day. So, Yomi expected her to be crushed in that presser machine as soon as possible.

With that in mind, when did Makoto stop the execution? Was it before meeting Yuma in Kanai Tower or after Yuma leaves Kanai Tower?

The amount of time that passed between the submarine exploding and Yuma waking up in Kanai Tower is unknown but since chapter 3 starts on the morning of the first day than we can assume a few hours have passed. During that time, a peacekeeper under Makoto's jurisdiction found Yuma floating along the riverbank, probably not too long after the explosion. He radioed the CEO about this found detective and Makoto ordered them to bring Yuma to Kanai Tower.

Makoto said Yuma was in "tatters" when found by the riverbank, so maybe Makoto stayed up those few hours taking care of Yuma so he would not die. Then, when Yuma is fully healed, Makoto waited until he woke up and walked outside the bedroom so the two can chat.

In other words, Makoto was preoccupied that whole night so he did not have any time to stop Martina's execution, that means he did it after Yuma left Kanai Tower.

But wait, how did Makoto know about Martina’s execution just in time to stop it? I don’t think Makoto has any secret cameras in Yomi’s office that recorded the conversation and Makoto stumbling upon this execution himself is unlikely. The only way is a peacekeeper that knew about the execution personally telling him about it. But what peacekeeper would notify Makoto? The peacekeepers respect both Yomi and Martina but since Yomi outranks Martina, they have no issue sending their second-in-command to death. Whoever this single peacekeeper is, they have to be more loyal to Martina than Yomi and have a personal liking to her that motivated them to report to a power above Yomi.

And I think I know who that guy is.

That’s right. The chubby peacekeeper who was very excited about getting punished by Martina was the one who told Makoto about her execution. News of Martina’s execution would spread among the peacekeepers and the Chubby Peacekeeper would likely hear of it at some point. Since he admires Martina so much, he didn’t want her to be killed, regardless of Yomi issuing the order, so he told someone higher up than Yomi that could stop it. A short time later after Yuma leaves Kanai Tower, Makoto hears about the execution from the Chubby Peacekeeper and swiftly heads over to the presser room and puts a stop to the process, saving Martina.

Supporting this, the Chubby Peacekeeper is there accompanying Makoto in the lab. Among the Peacekeepers that are loyal to Martina, him being there can’t just be a coincidence.

Maybe becuase he helped in saving Martina's life, she wanted him to be there when she confronted Yomi.

Now the last question. What happened immediately after Makoto stopped the execution order? Very simply, Makoto had a conversation with Martina, obviously in a different room away from the presser. Martina was no doubt traumatized and utterly terrified to almost be killed in an inhumanely cruel way and it be by someone she thought she loved. Makoto being a homunculus of the "world's greatest mind," therapy skills could be among his repertoire. Whatever they talked about together had major changes in Martina's behavior and relationship with Yomi.

Firstly, Martina has recognized that all the unlawful and brutal actions she committed as vice president of the peacekeepers were wrong. She feels guilty doing them and wants to resign from her position as atonement.

This is a decision she made herself. Makoto didn't suggest this and was ok with Martina still being vice president.

In addition, Martina is heard helping in the clean-up and reconstruction of Marunomon District after the flooding incident. Martina decided the best way to make amends for her prior actions is to personally help Kanai Ward and the people recover. Even in places that she wasn't involved in.

Secondly, Martina no longer loves Yomi. Makoto helped her come to terms that Yomi was abusive to her and he never truly loved her. Martina will probably still have lasting trauma from Yomi that can't be quickly undone after one therapy session, but Makoto did give Martina enough strength to face her abuser in the critical lab and shut him down.

Makoto realistically didn't need Martina here to get Yomi arrested. The file was enough, but Martina being here regardless speaks volumes. Two days ago, Martina was at her absolute lowest, completely alone and scared and knocking on death's door. And now she is face to face with her personal demon and confidently told him off and arrested him. Such a feat would not be possible without Makoto's support and being surrounded by people who actually care for her. She didn't even flinch when Yomi screamed at her.

Makoto didn't just want to stop Yomi's reign in Kanai Ward, he wanted to give Martina a chance to bolster her coincidence and get closure from her abuser.

Lastly, Martina wanted to show that she has grown from being Yomi's "right hand." She was able to arrest her abuser which is a powerful moment for sure, but that wasn't enough for Martina, she wanted to prove that she isn't just over him, she became better than him.

In the past chapters, the peacekeepers had an authoritarian rule over the citizens. They could arrest anyone over a crime when convenient and strike fear into the citizens to keep them from rebelling. A common phrase from the peacekeepers when arresting a person is:

Even Martina says this same line, and with an extra bit about begging for mercy to the corporation.

This type iron fist ruling is no doubt becuase of Yomi. He wants Kanai Ward to bow to him. He doesn't want any inconvenient truths get in the way of growing in power. He is willing to shoot people who so much as disagree with him publicly. He trains the entire peacekeeper branch to uphold this fear mongering dominance.

Martina had this similar mindset as Yomi, but once she talked to Makoto she wanted to remove this mindset from her person. That's why when Yomi is being arrested, Martina says this:

It's quite amazing that Martina is willing to treat Yomi far kinder and fairer than he did with her. This was a decision she made herself, I don't think Makoto required Martina to only arrest Yomi in a fair way. I believe Makoto would have approved of Martina shooting Yomi dead right then and there if she wanted. Remember, Makoto killed Fink the Slaughter Artist for "knowing too much" even though I doubt what he knew had anything to do with Homunculi. Makoto isn't above silencing people quickly. But Martina wanted to prove both Yomi and herself than she has become a better person than him. She has become her own person without any influence from her abuser.

In conclusion, I am so amazed and happy that Martina was given the chance to not only live but to heal from her abuser. Makoto coming in to save Martina wasn't done to help him take down Yomi, it was a selfless act to save a women who needed help and Makoto provided that help. All so Martina can have a future where she is happy and healthy.

Also fuck Yomi Hellsmile.

#Kirby's Novel Notes #Martina Electro #Makoto Kagutsuchi #Yomi Hellsmile #Yuma Kokohead #Raincode #rain code #rain code spoilers #master detective archives: rain code

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analogwriting · 6 months

Text

It Comes in Waves

Chapter 10: Spilling Waves

Trafalgar Law x gn!reader word count: 2.8k first|next

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You followed Chopper to the deck. You barely stepped a foot out the door before you heard Luffy screaming your name followed by the immediate feeling of his limbs wrapping around your body as he hugged you tightly. You yelped as his body slammed with yours.

“Hey, Luffy,” you choked out.

“LUFFY BE CAREFUL THEY ARE STILL RECOVERING!!!” Chopper was going to blow a gasket at this rate. You looked at the reindeer. “It's okay, Chopper. I'll be fine.”

You patted Luffy's back.

“I thought I lost you,” he mumbled, his face buried in your neck. That statement hurt your heart. “Can't get rid of me that easily.” You tried to lighten the mood but he was quiet for a moment more. Even with his carefree attitude, you knew that his brother’s death affected him. You thought about all the times the three of you happened to run into each other. They were always fun.

He slowly let you go and air slowly came back to your lungs. “I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry,” you mumbled, ruffling his hair once you were able to fully move again.

Once he let go, you gave him a proper hug. You pulled away, looking at him with pride. Much like an older sibling would. “Look at you! I think you grew a few inches!” You laughed. Your eyes landed on his scar and that day filled your mind but you tried to not let it dampen your mood.

Though, it was in the shape of an ‘x’. Probably because his life was a treasure.

“I did, actually! I'm also a lot stronger now! I can use haki!” You grinned at him lazily, putting your hands on your hips. “Well, shit. Looks like the title of King of the Pirates is already yours,” you mused, once more ruffling his hair.

Luffy quickly pulled you to the table to start eating. He was talking your ear off, getting you caught up. You greeted everyone, catching up and making small talk with everyone. They all filled you in on what they had been up to.

As time went on, everyone dispersed into their own conversations. You noticed two people you had never seen before. “Who…?” You looked at Luffy who followed your gaze back to the two newcomers.

“They're a couple of people we ran into on Punk Hazard.”

“My name is Kinemon and this is my son, Momonosuke.” You immediately noted the way they spoke. “Sir Luffy has been kind enough to let us accompany you all to your next destination.”

You nodded. “Uh, I'm Y/n.” The man, Kinemon, nodded back. “I have heard a great deal about you. Sir Luffy seems to hold you in high regards. As does Sir Law.” Luffy you were expecting, but Law? He talked about you when you weren’t around? You had a hard time believing it. He probably just chimed in. Though, you thought about his behavior earlier. Now that you thought about it, where was he?

The samurai spoke up again. “So, how did you meet Sir Luffy?” He looked at you with a curious look. You weren’t sure how to make him out quite yet. He seemed innocent enough, but you were still weary towards strangers.

“Uh, well. Luffy and his crew kind of just…picked me up? Saved me.” You shrugged. “I had just escaped from the Marines. Very narrowly. I was floating on a piece of driftwood and Luffy, quite literally, grabbed me and pulled me onto his ship.” It was terrifying at the time. To suddenly be flying through the air when just moments before you were close to death. You had taken quite the beating at the time. Lost a lot of blood.

Luffy spoke up. “Oh yeah! I remember!” He cackled. “The face you made was so funny, y/n.”

“I would hope so considering you pummeled them right into me,” Zoro commented. He made a face.

You nodded, laughing softly. “Yeah…almost gave both of us a concussion. And that was before Chopper joined the crew so we would've just been nursing ourselves back to health.” Despite what had happened, you looked back on the memory fondly. You looked at Zoro. “And you yelled at me like it was my fault,” you said, narrowing your eyes.

“Let it go, that was forever ago.” He rolled his eyes. Or his eye. How did he get that scar? “I was literally bleeding out and you were scolding me like I did it on purpose. I’m never letting you live it down.” You snorted, shaking your head. “Never apologized either.” You sighed. “But Sanji made lunch as an apology after Nami helped patch me up. So, I guess it worked out.”

Luffy looked at you for a moment. “Remember what you told me that day?”

You paused, feeling your own face soften as you remembered that day fondly. “You were bouncing around and apologizing. The way you were acting, I had said that you reminded me of a friend of mine. That you two had even kind of looked alike.” You looked down for a moment.

“You said I reminded you of Ace.” He didn’t introduce himself right away, so you didn’t know he was the Luffy that Ace had spoken so fondly of. It wasn’t until you had told him that that he had burst into a wide excited smile and started talking animatedly about him.

You nodded. “You did. You still do.” The energy around the table grew somber at the mention of the captain’s brother. He held a special place in the hearts of many that were on board currently. “Same unruly hair. Same crazy attitude. Not to mention your appetite.” That gained some laughs.

“I'm sure it wasn't easy cooking with both of them on board, eh, Sanji?” The cook groaned at the thought of it. “So much food.” The two of them seemed to have endless stomachs. Luffy was enough, but Luffy and Ace? If you hadn’t seen it yourself, you never would’ve believed it.

“You know, you remind me of him too, y/n.” You blinked, looking at Luffy. You didn’t think you looked anything like him. “What do you mean?”

“You look after me and take care of me when you see me. Like Ace did. Almost like an older sibling!”

You blinked, feeling heat rush up to your cheeks. “Well, you're like a little brother to me, so it works out.” You smiled, ruffling his hair again.

After that, conversations continued once more and everyone turned to their own thing. As people finished eating, they spread out on the deck, doing their own things. Towards the end of the night, you were on a bench, Luffy's head in your lap as he snoozed. You had a feeling he must have been missing his brother a lot tonight and that's why he was attached to you. It was clear now how much Luffy cared for you - like another sibling. You faintly remembered Ace mentioning they had another brother but he had passed away a long time ago.

Luffy had lost two brothers and yet he still found reasons to smile. You didn’t know how he did it. You admired him for that. You were only recently finding your own smile again. All thanks to two brothers and co.

“He really was worried, you know.” You looked up, seeing Robin. She was in passing to grab some cola for Franky when she noticed Luffy sleeping. “When Usopp and Law showed up with you, I thought he was going to lose it. Shut down like he did when…you know.” There was sadness in her eyes, but a fond smile on her face. You could see how much she cared about her captain. Luffy was lucky to have so many people that cared about him.

You frowned slightly as you thought. “He just has a big heart. He cares so much for everyone.” You don’t know why you kept trying to convince yourself you weren’t special in any kind of way.

“But not everyone reminds him of his big brother,” she mused, walking off again. It did make sense. You came in and out of his life, fretting over him whenever you saw him. Much like Ace had. You couldn't help it. When you found out he was Ace’s brother, you felt like you had to protect him. He was your best friend’s brother! Pretty much your own!

You thought about various times you had run into Luffy. It was a whirlwind every time. A breath of fresh air. He was filled with so much warmth and love for those around him. It warmed your own heart and reminded you of the home you were forced to leave a long time ago. At the same time, it only strengthened your resolve in your mission. You wanted to make the world a safer place. You knew you couldn’t completely end slavery and take down the Celestial Dragons, but you did what you could.

“What are you thinking about?” You looked up, seeing Law. You shrugged, looking back down at Luffy. “Nothing in particular.”

“I don't believe you.” He looked at you, studying your face. “If I had to guess, I'd say that you're thinking about what Luffy said earlier.”

You were quiet, staring at Luffy's sleeping face. He was right. You were still dwelling on it. Then something dawned on you. “Hold on. You weren’t even at dinner? How did you know?” You looked at him.

“Dinner was on deck. I just wasn’t at the table.” He shrugged. “I heard everything though.” You narrowed your eyes at him for a moment. Then you realized something.

“Wait. Why are you here?”

He stared at you. “Oh? Am I not allowed to be here? Are you upset that I’m here?” He smirked. You glared. “You and I both know that’s not what I meant,” you said. He held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, no need to get so hostile,” he mused. “No need to be so…feisty.” You stared at him for a moment before you burst into laughter and he chuckled along with you. “I completely forgot about him, oh my ocean.”

Your laughter caused Luffy to stir and you quickly quieted down. “Oh, sorry,” you whispered to the sleeping man in your lap. He readjusted himself before snoring once more. You chuckled, looking at Law. “Gotta keep an eye on me now, huh,” you teased. Law smirked, nodding. “Oh yeah. Make sure I keep you in check or whatever he was going on about.” You both chuckled quietly to yourselves. Even though it was only a year ago - it felt much longer.

“So, tell me. Why are you here? Where’s everyone else?” You looked at him after making sure Luffy was still comfortably asleep. Law was quiet for a moment. “Luffy agreed to help me take down Doflamingo in Dressrosa.” You thought for a moment. That name sounded familiar. “The warlord?” He nodded. “Yeah. He…” For a moment, Law looked like he was about to tell you about something from his past before deciding against it.

You opened your mouth to ask when Luffy began to stir.

“Y/n?” he asked, groggily.

“Yes, Luff? I'm right here,” you crooked softly as you ran your hand through his hair. He adjusted himself before settling back down. “I just wanted to make sure you hadn't left yet,” he mumbled. “Don't leave without saying goodbye…” He drifted back off.

“Do you make it a habit to leave without saying goodbye?” Law asked, referring to Luffy's words. You groaned. Not this again. You thought that was long forgotten at this point. You shook your head. “I don't. I think he was just saying it.”

“Ah, so just me then.”

You glared at Law. “Can we not do this right now? That was also forever ago.”

Before either of you could say anything else, the sound of Brook’s violin filled the air. You felt the exhaustion of the night's events catch up to you and before you knew it, you were also asleep.

The next morning, you groaned. You noticed you were in bed. You sat up, holding your head. It was pounding. Water. You needed some water. You stood up, shuffling towards where the kitchen was. It must still have been early as only Sanji and Nami were in the kitchen. They were discussing something when you walked in.

“Good morning, y/n!” They both chimed, a smirk on both of their faces. They even shared a look before glancing back at you. “What?” You looked at them. They were gossiping about something. “What did you two hear?” They only grinned in response. Oh, you didn’t like that.

“Sleep well?” Nami asked, there was a hint of something in her voice but you were too tired to figure it out.

“Would you like some water?” Sanji held out a cup to you and you nodded. When you reached for the cup, that's when you realized you were wearing something that you didn't have on the night before. Your movements paused midair as you processed this. Nami and Sanji exchanged looks again, grinning at each other. “There it is.”

You were wearing the jacket that Law had been wearing the night before. How did you make it all the way to the kitchen without noticing? You were suddenly glad no one else was awake to see this. How did this happen?

“Listen-” You started, but the thief stopped you by holding up a photo. You took it, studying it. Your face immediately turned as red as the apples that Sanji was currently cooking with.

Luffy, Law, and you sitting on the bench, all fast asleep. Luffy’s head in your lap, your head on Law’s shoulder, and his head on yours. You couldn’t take your eyes off the picture. Mostly because you couldn’t meet Nami’s eyes right now.

“You guys look like a little family!” Nami teased, her shit eating grin growing larger somehow. “Nami, please,” you groaned, covering your face in embarrassment. “Everyone saw, you know.” Her teasing was going to kill you. You peeked at her through your fingers. “No they didn’t.” She looked at Sanji, who nodded. “Yeah. Just about everyone saw. Except Luffy, for obvious reasons.”

“We were tired! As if you guys haven't fallen asleep on each other before.”

Sanji and Nami shared, yet again, another look. Fuck. “Suuuure,” they both said, turning back to their own tasks. Nami went to take the photo back and you held it from her. “Oh, absolutely not. I’m destroying this.” She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think so!” She hopped over the table to chase you and you yelped, turning on your heel and running out of the kitchen.

Only to run face first into someone's chest, sending the both of you tumbling down to the ground. You groaned, slowly lifting yourself up and coming face to face with Law. You froze, blinking as you processed. Law stared right back at you - he seemed to also be processing.

“Get a room!” Nami playfully called before going back into the kitchen with a triumphant look on her face, pulling you both out of your trance. You scrambled to get off of him, straightening yourself up and dusting yourself up. “Sorry,” you mumbled. You realized you still had the picture in your hand. You quickly shoved it into your necklace.

Law cleared his throat. “You really shouldn’t run out of a doorway. You never know if someone is on the other side.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Really? A lecture this early in the morning?” Did he know how to interact without scolding? “You’re the one who bulldozed right into me,” he said.

Then he looked at you. “Are you alright, y/n? You’re really red.” He reached out to put his hand on your forehead to feel for a fever and you dodged his hand. Mostly on instinct. “I am just fine, thank you. Nami just teasing me.” You waved it off. He looked at you. “Are you sure?” You nodded.

You went to scurry off before anything else was said, wanting to forget what had just happened. “Wait, y/n-” Law reached out to grab you to stop you in your tracks, but grabbed the collar of the jacket, pulling it against your neck. You, already being somewhat flustered, felt the light pressure against your neck. In your surprise and with your guard being down due to illness, at least that’s what you’ll tell yourself, you let out a moan.

As soon as it sounded off, you clasped your hands over your mouth. Your face was a radiant red and Law even froze in his movements. You could see his own face turning red as he stared at you. That was mortifyingly embarrassing. You could pass away right there. Then you absolutely booked it. You had to get as far as you could from him.

#one piece #law x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x you #trafalgar d law #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #the fact that this is technically just part four kills me #the last couple paragraphs are completely self indulgent #iciw #am fics

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bvidzsoo · 4 months

Text

Love Me Like A Rockstar (5)

Chapter 5: Avalanche

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warning: cussing, mentions of suicide

Word count: 8, 084

A/N: Updateee, hehet. Now, now...this chapter is emotionally loaded, but at least we can notice some progress in their relationship lol, it was about time if you ask me. Please listen to Avalanche before or while reading this chapter, it's really important as it portrays Mingi's story and feelings in the past, so please don't skip it! I can't promise the next update will be soon because I have a deadline by next week, but if I won't be too burned out then I might just update towards next weekend. ALSO G U Y S!!!! Tunnel?!?!?!?!?! SONG MINGI'S SOLO???? ARE WE FINE?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE RELEASES T H A T WHILE I'M WRITING A STORY EXACTLY LIKE THAT???!! No, but seriously, I'm completely not fine, I still can't believe this happened BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME I WRITE SOMETHING AND IT HAPPENS. Okay, I'm done screaming, sorry. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I tried my best and I hope it turned out okay. Feedback is appreciated, enjoy now!!

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @okokmaybe01-blog

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

There was a beat of silence, of nobody moving, of nobody blinking or saying anything. My heart shouldn’t have picked up its rhythm so fast, but as my eyes briefly ran over Mingi’s tall form standing in the doorway opposite mine, I realized he looked the same as in the video I have seen on Seulgi’s Instagram story, the only change to his outfit was the black hoodie covering his broad frame—and wet, almost see-through, white shirt.

“What are you doing here?” My mouth was moving before I could think, mind suddenly a puddle.

“Picking up some food since I’m headed home from Outlaw.” Mingi’s explanation came quickly, his own eyes taking in my appearance as they briefly ran over my body. My grip tightened around the doorknob as I suddenly felt embarrassed. I knew I didn’t look like my usual self; my eyes were still red from crying, and I couldn’t help but sniff every other few minute. And I was completely soaked in rainwater.

“What are you doing here?” Mingi asked at once, eyes finally meeting mine. His expression was neutral, but there was something in his eyes—he seemed tired. Black eyeliner rimmed his already sharp eyes, creating the illusion of them piercing right through you. I suddenly felt naked under his attentive gaze, too exposed for my liking. I cleared my throat and stepped away from the doorway finally, circling my arms around my body, just now noticing the teetering of my teeth. I tried to offer my body some comfort by hugging myself, but it wasn’t exactly working.

“I was on a walk when it started raining, so I took shelter in here.” That wasn’t a lie at all, yet under Mingi’s watchful gaze, it felt like one. My eyebrows slightly furrowed at the thought, wondering why it felt like I was lying. Perhaps it was the doubt in his eyes as he looked over me once again, clearly questioning why I was drenched from head to toe if I took shelter in here, but I would not further explain myself to him.

“Right,” His voice conveyed nothing and I tried to hide my surprise as he didn’t prod further, “I understand.”

He stepped outside the men’s restroom finally, making me press myself up against the cold wall of the hallway as it was narrow, sniffing as another shudder ripped through my body. Despite having warmed my hands and cheeks with the warm water, I could feel the cold seep through my bones once again as my clothes clung onto my frame uncomfortably. Mingi didn’t cast me any other glance as he took off towards the main hall and I found myself following after him, licking my dry lips as I tried to hug myself tighter, rubbing at my side clumsily. It was my last attempt to warm myself up. My eyes were trained on the floor as they were burning, but I found them drawn upwards soon, curiously watching the back of Mingi’s head. His black hair was damp, and the blue sheer sunglass I saw him wearing in the video was put on backwards, making me frown as I stared at it as it rested against the back of Mingi’s head. Couldn’t he just take it off? Why wear it backwards? Was this a new trend he was following to become more famous? I scoffed at myself quietly as Mingi and I rounded the corner, walking back inside the main hall of the diner, the lady at the front counter looking up from a notebook she was writing in, cash placed next to it. Her eyes were trained on Mingi only, and I rolled my eyes subconsciously, awaiting her to act like one of his baboons—fangirls—from Outlaw and even from our university, but instead, her eyes held warmth as she leaned down and grabbed something from behind the counter. I found myself rooted to my place, watching the interaction—just slightly intrigued—as if I were a child waiting for their parent to finally move and leave the diner. It was silly, really, why was I waiting for Mingi? It’s not like him and I would be leaving together—yet my feet refused to move despite my thoughts telling me to do so.

“Steak with mashed potatoes and some side dishes, just the way you like it.” The lady said kindly as she placed a casserole inside a bag on the counter, pushing it towards Mingi. My eyes were glued to the side of his face, watching his reaction, waiting for his usual arrogant and flirty self to come to the surface, but instead, a small smile made it onto his face as his right hand slipped inside his pocket. Huh, that was new, I’ve never seen Mingi act like—himself—in front of a woman before.

“Thank you, Dahyun, you always seem to know what I’m craving.” Mingi told her quietly and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt a sneeze trying to fight its way out of my nose, it burned.

“No, you just always ask for the same meals on the same days,” She chuckled as Mingi extended the money towards her, “You’re a simple man, and my memory is simply too good—it’s on the house tonight, Mingi.”

“But—”

“I already closed the register.” Dahyun winked at him and pushed Mingi’s hand back, ignoring the noises of complaint he made, “Seriously, do you want me to overwork myself?”

“Fine,” Mingi sighed, his eyebrows furrowed. My head started to lightly thump and I found myself leaning against the wall, eyes heavy and burning. My mother would kill me for getting sick for such a dumb reason as to staying out in the rain without realizing it was even pouring. Damn Yunho, it’s his fault, “But at least let me leave a tip.”

Dahyun gave Mingi a pointed stare before her eyes fell on me, suddenly realizing I was there too. I cleared my throat awkwardly as I stood up straight, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. Mingi turned his head, his eyes falling on me as well, and suddenly I felt—so small. Both of them were looking at me with concern in their eyes, and I couldn’t help but look away as my eyes were suddenly burning with tears in them. Why was I in such an unstable state all of a sudden? My chest felt lighter, my throat wasn’t closing in on me anymore—I was fine, so then why?

“Can you make her some tea? If I’m not asking for too much.” My eyes snapped up in Mingi’s direction as he was looking at me, face still emotionless, but eyebrows furrowed.

“Of course, we’ve still got like five minutes until we’re closing.” Dahyun answered him cheerily and then turned around, opening some cabinets as she got to work.

“Okay, but accept the money this time.” Mingi muttered and placed some bills on the counter, pushing it towards the notebook she seemed to be busy with before we disturbed her.

“Whatever.” Dahyun huffed and cast me a quick glance as Mingi turned to look at me again.

“Are you cold?” Mingi asked and I tensed my muscles, trying to stop the trembling, but it was hard—and it wasn’t even working. But I just gulped and pulled myself together, walking closer to him.

“No.” My teeth clanked against each other again and I sniffed as Dahyun turned to face me, a plastic cup in her hands.

“We only have wild berry tea; I hope you like that.” She said with a smile as she placed the cup on the counter and pushed it towards me. I cleared my throat and looked down at it, the steam hot and inviting as I reluctantly reached out for it. It was embarrassing—this whole situation. I was looking like a mess, on the verge of another breakdown, because why not—my brain decided that I simply wasn’t finished crying over nothing—even if it wasn’t exactly nothing, I refused to acknowledge it. I reluctantly reached for the cup, slightly annoyed that Mingi and this Dahyun girl were looking at me like I was going to break—or explode—at any given moment. I let out a frustrated sigh as my fingers wrapped around the hot cup firmly, skin slightly burning, but I welcomed the feeling as I have stopped feeling my fingers a good few minutes ago.

“Stop looking at me like that, Mingi, I’m fine.” I didn’t mean to snap, but my tone was sharp as I sucked in a sharp breath, bringing the cup up to my lips and blowing on the hot water, the steam warming my skin.

“I’m not looking—anyways,” He cut himself off as he grabbed the bag with his food inside and stepped away from the counter, “Thank you, Dahyun, we won’t be holding you back for longer.”

“No problem, see you soon!” She said with a smile, waving a little as Mingi nodded at her, barely returning her smile. It seemed almost like there was something wrong with him, but I couldn’t tell, I didn’t know him well. He could’ve been simply acting to gain our sympathy—I could see Mingi doing something like that, it didn’t seem too far from his atrocious character.

“Uh, thank you.” I thanked the girl quietly as I slightly bowed my head and she just smiled, waving at me as well as I quickly hurried after Mingi, who had stopped in the doorway, apparently waiting for me.

His hand reached out for the handle, but he hesitated for a second, not opening the door just yet, “It’s still raining…and you don’t have an umbrella…”

I raised an eyebrow as I took a sip of my hot tea, taking a glance at Mingi. He was looking ahead, eyes trained on the road through the glass doors. The sweet taste of wild berries exploded in my mouth and I bit my lip as the warm tea flushed down my throat, warming me up from the inside as I eagerly took another big gulp, slightly burning my tongue.

“Yeah, I don’t have an umbrella.” I said, the two of us looking at each other at the same time, “But it’s fine, I’m already drenched. I’ll just run home—”

“You’re already shivering and shaking constantly, Y/N.” Mingi said matter of fact, and I rolled my eyes almost instantly, “Let me drive you home.”

“You don’t have to, it doesn’t matter.” I muttered with a shrug and took another sip of my tea, but Mingi just shook his head and turned his body slightly towards mine.

“You keep sniffing and you are clearly cold, even if you say you aren’t.” He raised an eyebrow, pointing towards my flushed cheek—I could only hope I wouldn’t have a fever, “You’ll catch a cold at this point, just let me drive you home. It’s not a big deal, really.”

“Mingi,” I sighed loudly, giving him a glare, “I’m fine, I’m not cold and I won’t catch a cold—”

Almost as if the Universe—or my own body—was having a laugh at me, a sneeze forced its way through my nostrils, loud, and an obvious sign that I wasn’t doing too well currently. Mingi’s lips pressed into a thin line as he tried not to smile and suppress his chuckle, making me grumble to myself as I quickly drank the remaining tea, feeling slightly warmer.

“Still going to pass on that ride?” Mingi quirked an eyebrow as a smirk appeared on his lips and I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Lead the way, Prince Charming.” I mocked, but it only made Mingi giggle as he pushed the door open, the breeze freezing as it suddenly hit me. I instantly shivered and made myself smaller, clutching myself around my middle.

“That’s my car.” Mingi pointed towards a black car across the street and suddenly he took off, pulling his hood over his head, running out into the rain. There was no oncoming traffic, so I quickly left the shop and ran across the road, headed for the passenger seat. As I got there, the car was unlocked and Mingi was pulling the key out of the lock and opening his side of the door quickly, jumping inside. I followed his lead and slammed the door closed after sitting inside, shivering and groaning at the cold gripping at my skin again, pressing myself back into the leather seat of Mingi’s car. He placed the food in the backseat, putting the keys into the ignition. He looked at me, lips slightly pursed.

“Uh,” For the first time in my life, Mingi looked embarrassed as he scratched his nape, “The car’s old so uhm—we’ll have to wait a little bit before we take off. For the engine to warm up and shit, you know.”

I hummed and gulped, grip tightening around the plastic cup I was still holding onto. I did not want to prolong my time spent together with Mingi, so why couldn’t his car work just fine? I watched him as he turned the key, but the engine didn’t start right away, screeching for a second as Mingi tried again, groaning with his eyebrows furrowed. I remained silent as I watched him struggle for a few more seconds until the engine finally rumbled to life, the sound louder than I expected. But it only lasted for another second before it settled down, the pouring rain overshadowing the sound of the old engine. Mingi went and pressed a few buttons on the dashboard and I allowed my muscles to relax slightly, noting the way I was still shaking. When will it stop? It was getting annoying. As if Mingi sensed my train of thoughts, he turned his head towards me and cleared his throat.

“Are you cold?” He asked, making me sigh as I shook my head no, refusing to admit that I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. Maybe if this old wreck could warm up faster I wouldn’t be shaking so much—and I knew Mingi’s car had zero faults right now, but I had to pour my irritation onto something instead of admitting defeat in front of him, “You’re very obviously cold, Y/N.”

I scoffed and my eyes snapped to him as he suddenly leaned more towards me, reaching for something in the backseat of the car, “If it’s so obvious, Mr. Obvious, do something about it—”

My mouth clamped shut the second Mingi was holding a black denim jacket in his hand with a lopsided smile, extending it towards me, “I am doing something about it, here, wear it.”

He let it fall into my lap before I could refuse him and suddenly my cheeks were on fire—and not from the cold. I cleared my throat loudly and averted my gaze as Mingi settled back into his seat with a small grin, watching me as I rolled my eyes, fumbling with the heavy jacket he had given me. I didn’t want to wear it—that was the last thing I actually wanted to do, but a violent shiver racked through my body and I was suddenly moving faster than lightning, groaning as my clothes were still stuck against my body. It was a horrible feeling, but at least Mingi’s seats were leather, easier to clean. I pulled the black denim jacket around my shoulders before putting each arm through the sleeves, trying to ignore Mingi’s eyes on me, and the amused smile he had on his face. It wasn’t funny—but it was probably entertaining to him. I wonder how many girls he took home like this before me, letting them wear his jacket only to flirt with them afterwards as a means of getting to sleep with them. Men were easy, and Mingi was one of them. I could see right through his bullshit, and so, despite the warmth and masculine scent enveloping my senses, I gave Mingi a sharp glare, making him chuckle.

“You’re so predictable,” He said quietly, almost as if to himself, but I heard him, and I scoffed, “You won’t thank me, right?”

“I’m still cold.” I evaded his question instead, giving him a look, but Mingi just giggled, the sound low and deep inside his chest. I watched as his features relaxed and found my heart beating faster once again as I realized that I was enclosed in a tiny space with him, barely a few feet away from each other. There was something different about Mingi all of a sudden as he threw his head back, sighing loudly and gripping the wheel. His eyes fluttered close and I couldn’t will myself to look away, suddenly curious of the man sitting next to me. Who was he? Why was he like this? But the confusing butterflies deep inside my stomach sent me into distress, and I averted my eyes as Mingi opened his, and realized it was becoming suffocating. The silence. I didn’t like it. Mingi wasn’t saying anything, the engine was still dully rumbling and the rain was hitting the roof of the old Honda Prelude loudly. It didn’t feel as restricting as earlier, but my throat was squeezing in on itself and without asking for permission, I reached forward and pressed a button on the stereo, turning the radio on.

The instrumental wasn’t something I have heard before, and the harsh beat of the drums resounded in the car loudly, making my heart jump. Soon, the drum was accompanied by the lively but soft melody of the guitar, guiding it through. It felt like a storm, the loud and harsh beats of the drums lead by the soft yet determined guitar. It was almost as if two sides of the coin were leaning on each other for support—almost as if one was desperate to be shown some light in the darkness. I saw Mingi shift in the corner of my eyes, and I was startled at the intense look in his eyes as he looked at me, lips parted and eyebrows drawn up. He seemed surprised but at the same time almost angry, it was a look I couldn’t read well yet. I didn’t understand why he was looking at me like that. Suddenly, the drums slightly softened, until they became silent, and the guitar guided the melody smoothly, bringing it a comforting feeling. Mingi and I were still looking at each other and I was about to ask why he was looking at me like that, but suddenly the raspy, yet warm, voice resounding in the car took me off guard as my eyes widened, leaving me gaping at Mingi.

『Cut me open and tell me what's inside

Diagnose me 'cause I can't keep wondering why

And no, it's not a phase 'cause it happens all the time

Start over, check again, now tell me what you find

'Cause I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?』

His voice was smooth as the drums and guitar accompanied it, dropping lower at times and feeling like the caress of a whisper at the same time. Mingi’s face had turned emotionless once again as his eyes locked with mine, and I tried to give him a glare, but my mind was focused on the words he was singing—on the message behind his lyrics.

『It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under

'Cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck

I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over

And I feel like I am treading on thin ice』

The beat picked up again, the drums louder as the melody grew more aggressive, Mingi’s voice reflecting it and gliding with it. His voice was powerful and held sincerity as he sung, his words ringing through my mind as the raspiness of it became more hearable. I couldn’t hold Mingi’s gaze anymore and I swiftly turned my head, playing with the cup I had in my hands as I gulped, the melody slowing down once again.

『Am I broken? What's the chance I will survive?

Don't sugarcoat me 'cause I feel like suicide

Just give it to me straight, 'cause I'm running out of time

I need an antidote, now what can you prescribe?』

My eyebrows furrowed the longer I listened to his words, wondering if this is what he actually felt like. Wondering when he wrote this song. Wondering why and how was Mingi hiding such feelings locked away in himself, in a way that nobody would be able to see the real him. Why were his words so relatable and why did I suddenly find myself teary eyed, biting my lower lip to try and get a grip of myself again.

『It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under

'Cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck

I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over

And I feel like I am treading on thin ice, and I'm going under』

I wonder who made him feel like that. Who had hurt Mingi so much that he felt like he was on the verge of giving it all up. Did he still feel like that? Were the two of us not so much different from each other after all? I sniffed, turning my head to look out the window instead, scared that if I hung my head down the tears would actually fall.

『I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle

Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world

I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle

Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world』

My grip around the cup tightened and I heard Mingi shift in his seat again, but I didn’t turn around to look at him. Emotions and thoughts of all sorts were whirling in my head, and I couldn’t stop thinking. I haven’t really paid attention to what he sings in his songs before—not that I had many occasions to do so—but this one suddenly felt so familiar, as if there was at least one person in the world who understood my struggles too. I’ve had low points in life before, especially after Yunho left me, and I really felt like there was no way out for me. I didn’t know how to cope and what to do with myself, I became uncaring and closed myself off to the world, only talking to those necessary, and barely doing anything if I could. That was the only time in my life when my art didn’t help at all, when I couldn’t pick up my pencil out of fear of what my mind would conjure up to torment me with. My life revolved around Jeong Yunho, and I knew because of missing him, he would be the only thing I would be drawing. He was my muse, and I hated it for such a long time not realizing that it was in some twisted way helping with getting over him. I have memorized every single feature and flaw of his, knowing it by heart. It was freeing when I was able to highlight all the things I knew he hated about himself, it made it easier for me to remind myself that he wasn’t as perfect as I thought he was. It was just the idea I had created of him in my head.

My fingers were tapping against the cup, following the rhythm of the song as Mingi’s beautiful voice carried on singing, the melody wrapping me up in my thoughts, almost getting lost to the point where I wasn’t paying attention to the song anymore. But it was actually impossible to do that, Mingi had a way to keep you focused on himself even if he was just simply singing, his raspy and warm voice keeping you in a vice grip, making you yearn for more. As the song came to an end, I released a breath I didn’t even realize I had been holding. Mingi was swift as he leaned forward and turned off the stereo, clearing his throat loudly. For a few more seconds nothing was said between the two of us, silence enveloping around us once again. But I didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore, I felt—almost sad, but mostly curious of the making of this song. Of what prompted Mingi to write it. Why were his emotions so raw in this, and who caused him to feel like this.

“It wasn’t bad,” I found myself speaking up, not really thinking through my words first, “you’re not too bad at this, Mingi.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh, and as I turned my head, he was already looking at me with an amused look on his face, covering his mouth as his laughter got louder for a second. My eyebrows furrowed, and I was about to say something less nice to him, but I realized my compliment sounded oddly similar to the one I had gotten from him back at the library. Despite fighting against the smile wanting to appear on my lips, I quickly let out a chuckle, our eyes with Mingi connecting. Despite the depth of the song and the somber atmosphere it created, Mingi seemed to be almost ecstatic as he shrugged, drumming his fingers against the wheel. Subconsciously, I nuzzled further into the collar of the denim jacket, the cologne stronger as I inhaled it, reminded that I was wearing Mingi’s jacket. I didn’t miss the way a fond smile appeared on his face for a few moments, quickly disappearing as he cleared his throat and looked ahead, pressing some other buttons on the dashboard.

“Thank you, getting a compliment from a fine arts genius certainly feels like I have won a Grammy or something.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes as Mingi chuckled, grinning at me for a second before he turned his body fully towards me, taking me off guard, “I wrote this song a long time ago, when—well, there’s nothing to hide here, when Yunho left for college. When I—remained alone at home, here in this town. Nothing was set in stone yet, to be honest, I had absolutely no idea what to do with my life back then. I was eighteen and I was confused and scared. The pressure of figuring out what you wanted to do with your life at such a young age was frightening and breaking me down, to be honest. I’ve always struggled mentally—you know, with depression and anxiety—and I think that period of time was the lowest I had ever been.”

I was soaking in every word Mingi was saying, mind silent and eyes focused on him, wanting to hear more as he continued talking, “Yunho was always the stronger one between the two of us and he always knew from a young age what he wanted to do, so when I realized I hadn’t planned my future ahead like him, I lost myself. And he—left, to college—in a different city. Hours away, leaving me all alone. I know I might sound dramatic, but I don’t deal well with change. I never have and I never will, I’m afraid. It took me almost a year to finally get used to living alone and sometimes I still struggle, it’s really frustrating. So you can imagine how badly I took my best friend, whom I have never been separated from before and we’ve known each other since kindergarten, leaving and abandoning me in the small town I have always hated and had no future in. I fell into deep depression and nothing was helping, like at all. Not even Yunho returning home out of the blue after two weeks of no contact on my part. When he saw the state I was in, we—we cried for hours, Y/N. It was horrible. I hate making him feel like that, because it wasn’t his fault, it was all mine.”

My eyebrows furrowed and my heart clenched upon hearing Mingi’s words, quietly letting out a breath which felt like it was restricting my lungs. In this moment, I heard my own thoughts and feelings in Mingi. His struggles and pain, I understood them. My fingers crushed the cup accidentally, but thankfully Mingi didn’t seem to notice as he took a deep breath and continued, “I wanted to kill myself. If Yuyu wouldn’t have come home in that exact moment—I don’t think we’d be having this conversation right now.”

My eyebrows furrowed and without really thinking, my left hand reached over the center console and I found myself gripping Mingi’s right hand, his skin so much hotter than mine. He bit his lower lip, eyebrows twitching as he averted his gaze all of a sudden, turning his hand upwards so that my fingers could slip over his palm. It was weird how easily my skin tingled at the contact; thoughts silent for once.

“He suggested I find a way of getting these thoughts and feelings out of myself. And after he left once again I knew I had to do something unless I planned on completely losing my mind, so…I took a pen and paper and started writing. Everything I felt, everything I thought. And miraculously, it worked. Slowly, of course, but it started working. I found a good therapist as well and suddenly I could see a way out of this dark cloud hung up around my head, fogging my thoughts up. I searched for a beat on YouTube and realized I could turn these thoughts and feelings into music. And they didn’t even sound bad, but what was most important was that I enjoyed doing it. I felt free, I felt like I could finally say anything I ever wanted. And I knew if this helped me, then it would help others as well, let them know they weren’t alone, and that you can go on even if it seems like you can’t. I wrote this song right before signing up to our university and sent it in as a sample. I was granted access to the studious a week later, and two weeks later accepted to the university. It’s probably one of my happiest memories, especially since Yunho surprised me that day by coming home and celebrating it with me.”

As Mingi was done talking, silence settled between the two of us. Comforting, understanding. I looked down at my lap, mind a whirlwind of thoughts all of a sudden, threatening to rush out at once. The sudden thumb sweeping against my knuckles made me slightly tense, realizing that I was completely holding hands with Mingi. My cheeks burned all of a sudden and my heart jumped, yet despite my thoughts telling me to pull my hand out of his, I didn’t move just yet. The feeling—wasn’t so bad.

“My sketchbook—the one you flipped through without my permission—” I sent Mingi a small glare as he snorted, cutting me off for a second, “is like my journal. I doddle in it daily, sometimes I even write little messages next to the sketches, noting down the things on my mind or just simply how my day went. When I draw, my mind is completely silent, I feel at ease. There’s nothing bothering me and I don’t have to worry in that moment of what the next line will illustrate or what the overall drawing will be. My thoughts are often too loud and I get overwhelmed by them, it’s hard to ignore them, you know? But by drawing, I can escape them and free myself even for a little while, it’s similar to what you must feel when you write music. Just letting go and releasing everything you feel.”

Mingi’s eyes were warm and soft as a small smile appeared on his lips, his skin suddenly burning mine and as my heartbeat showed no signs of slowing down, so, I carefully slipped my hand out of his, turning ahead and staring out at the pouring rain, feeling exposed and too small, “I understand what it must’ve felt like going through all of that. There was a time in my life, when—my whole world revolved around one person only and when—when he left, I thought I would die. I didn’t want to continue on living, to be completely honest. But with time, and thanks to my mother and Seulgi, I built myself back up. It’s fine now—I mean, I’m fine now.”

Mingi just hummed and I could feel his gaze on me as I leaned forward in the seat, rubbing my face as I felt fatigue settle over my whole being. At least I wasn’t shaking anymore, the car had warmed up significantly and my clothes weren’t sticking to my skin so violently anymore.

“Everyone has their story, Y/N.” Mingi spoke up, and I could hear the smile in his voice, “And it was very obvious to me that your attitude towards me is just a defense mechanism—”

“Oh, don’t get too cocky now that I’ve shared something so insignificant from my life.” I snapped as I turned my head, giving him a small glare. Mingi chuckled, holding his hands up in a way that said he wasn’t trying to attack me.

“I don’t think it’s insignificant—”

“Mingi.”

“Tell me something…” He trailed off and I sighed loudly, not in the mood to converse anymore. I wanted to go home, “Are those eyes really Yunho’s in your sketchbook? Because I really don’t think they are. I mean, I know what my own eyes like look and—”

“Whatever, they are yours, okay?” I snapped defensively as I crossed my arms in front of my chest, cutting Mingi off. I knew I should’ve never confessed to him that those were indeed his eyes, because now the shit eating grin he had on his lips and the way his eyes sparkled weren’t worth it. Not when my cheeks felt on fire, and I knew it wasn’t from the warmth inside the car.

“I knew it!” He said triumphantly, giggling a little, making me role my eyes.

“Just because you have pretty eyes doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.” I scoffed and suddenly Mingi froze, staring at me like I said something wrong. I raised my eyebrows at him in question.

“I never said you were in love with me.” Shit. I scoffed and rolled my eyes again, giving him a deadpan look.

“Very well, can’t have you thinking that now that you know those are your eyes.” Mingi laughed, again, as he playfully leaned towards me, making my glare deepen.

“So, you think I’m pretty?” He bit his lower lip and my brain blanked for a second as my eyes ran over his face quickly, taking in his features. Yes, he was very pretty—what the fuck?!

“Just because you have features which are easy to draw, Mingi, doesn’t mean I think you’re pretty. Have I told you already that you’re self-absorbed?” I raised my eyebrows mockingly as I clicked my tongue and Mingi chuckled as he faced forward, turning on the windshield wipers.

“Yes, quite a few times, actually.” I scoffed, putting on my seatbelt when I saw Mingi doing the same.

“Just take me home.” I muttered as I turned my head and looked out the window.

“Tell me your address first.” Mingi’s tone was playful as he turned on the stereo again, this time a channel of a radio playing music in Mingi’s vintage car as he slowly drove off.

After arriving home I had taken a very long and very hot shower, letting my body stay under the stream for a long time, probably making my mother think that I was drowning. I could feel my muscles finally relaxing, the shivers completely gone from my body as I dressed into my warmest pajamas once I got out of the shower, blow-drying my hair quickly, eager to get underneath my warm blanket. Thankfully my mother wasn’t angry at all by the time I got home, she was waiting for me with two mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows, and a big hug. She didn’t want to tell me where her sudden affection was coming from, but she said she knew there was something wrong, and that I could go to her the next time I’m struggling. It’s funny how she always knows what the problem is, yet I don’t want to burden her furthermore with my own dramatic emotions.

After drinking the hot chocolate and having a laugh with my mother over the comedy show she was watching in her room, I finally retreated to my own room, under the oh, so warm blanket. I couldn’t help but sigh contently and nuzzle even further into the pillow under my head, grateful to be finally able to rest. But as if the Universe was out against me tonight—and it probably was hence the shitshow today was—sleep never came to me. I was beyond tired, yet I couldn’t sleep. I felt slightly restless, as if I had to do something and I wouldn’t be able to rest until I have done it—and that was drawing. The image in my head was begging for me to be released onto a blank canvas, but I wished it could wait until tomorrow—but it couldn’t, so, with a loud sigh, I sat up and turned on my lamp. The sketchbook was bigger than the one I use as a journal since I rarely use it outside of class, but for what I wanted to draw tonight I needed the bigger one. I flipped it open to a new page and grabbed my pencil, twirling it around my fingers as I sectioned the blank paper, searching for the right angle to start the drawing.

First, I settled on drawing the outlines with faded lines, the background not the most important but since it played a part in the spacing of the drawing, I had to start with that. I went and first did the outline of the car from the inside, adding shading to show where the streetlamps couldn’t reach as the car drove down the empty road, gloomy clouds raining down on us, making the roads slippery and reducing visibility, but Mingi was an attentive and calm driver as he hummed and nodded his head to the beat of the music playing on the radio. His jaw was set and eyes focused up front, on the road, eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed and lower lip quite often between his teeth as he bit into the supple flesh, his lips cherry colored and plump. His jawline long, and sharp; and cheekbones well defined, yet not too sharp; his brow bone more forward, giving him an intimidating look from the side with his eyebrows drawn together. His nose, tall, and long, and pointy—too pretty. I cleared my throat and shook my head, focusing on drawing the rest of Mingi’s features and willing my brain to shut up about whether Mingi was pretty or not—he wasn’t. I couldn’t help but draw the sunglasses he wore so hideously backwards, ruining his overall nice look, making me grimace as I darkened his hair by adding more shading to it. I illustrated the shadows falling over his face as well, his gaze slightly obscured from my view. His long fingers gripped the wheel tightly, the gemstones of his rings glinting whenever the light fell on it in a peculiar way, and I couldn’t help but recall the feeling of his skin against mine as drew the lines defining the muscle of his hands. Just as I went to draw his neck, my phone pinged, slightly startling me as it was loud. It was placed on my nightstand and I groaned as I had to lean over half of my bed to reach it. And as I took my phone into my hands, my heart skipped a beat.

I hate him: are u asleep?

I glanced at the clock and realized it would be soon midnight, I had to get this drawing done and then go to sleep as I had class early in the morning tomorrow. Besides, I didn’t want to talk to Mingi. Why was he texting me? Just because we shared a few sappy stories about ourselves doesn’t mean that we have suddenly become best friends, sharing even more life stories with each other—and most certainly Mingi had no business texting me this late at night. With a huff, I let my phone fall next to me as I continued to draw, focusing on my creation instead. Drawing the neck was easy and quick and I focused on adding little details to it instead, the silver chains he had hanging against his neck tonight, peeking through the collar of his black hoodie. I continued drawing the rest of his body, his arms and torso as well as I could as they weren’t too essential to the drawing as of now. I only wanted to draw Mingi’s profile as he drove, the darkness combined with the streetlamps casting beautiful shadows over his flawless face. But drawing Mingi, knowing that Mingi had texted me all of a sudden felt weird, and I sighed as I dropped my pencil, grabbing my phone again as I unlocked it. He had sent the message five minutes ago, that was enough time for him to fall asleep so even if I text him he’ll only see this in the morning and if he’ll answer I won’t have to text him back anymore—because I didn’t want to be texting with Mingi, at all.

Me: no. u?

As I went to close my phone, his reply came instantly, leaving me surprised. There goes my plan of Mingi being asleep and not having to talk to him tonight…

I hate him: nope, why aren’t u sleeping? Me: i can’t sleep. u?

I chewed on my bottom lip as I shuffled around for a second to be able to sit cross legged in my bed.

I hate him: yeah, same. the rain makes it hard for me to sleep…i hate rain, actually, especially the thunder.

I almost went ahead and typed back that I knew, but Mingi wasn’t supposed to know that. Mingi had no idea Yunho and I had dated back in highschool—Mingi had no idea how much I actually knew about him due to Yunho, and I intended on keeping that a secret from him. I didn’t want to wake up old ghosts in my heart which would bring pain once again.

Me: ig i’m fine with rain as long as i’m somewhere inside, but the humidity kills me. it’s the winter time i actually hate…i can’t deal with cold weather, i get easily sick…

I rubbed my forehead as I pressed send and sighed as I lowered my phone into my lap, suddenly aware of the weird butterflies in my stomach, making me almost nauseous. As I glanced back down at my phone, the three bubbles signaling that Mingi was typing back appeared, and I had to take a deep breath to settle my erratic heartbeat. What was happening? Why was my body reacting in such a weird way?

I hate him: oh, yeah, i totally get the winter thing as someone who loves dressing light. i feel like i am more myself in the summer time lol; my style rocks during the summer and then gets okay-ish during the winter, it’s sad actually…

I chuckled and smirked as I quickly typed back.

Me: why? cuz you can’t show off your biceps during the winter? I hate him: ha-ha aren’t u so funny tonight? Me: i’m always funny, mingi…

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I quickly sent the message despite Mingi still typing.

I hate him: u wish u were always funny, doll…if someone’s funny then that person is me, y/n Me: yeah, right, u wish, prince I hate him: aren’t u just in a delightful mood tonight, doll?

I scoffed but couldn’t fight off the amused smile from my lips.

Me: it’s all thanks to you, idiot I hate him: i think I prefer u calling me prince, actually… Me: u wish, idiot. I hate him: anyways, what’s your favorite season?

I raised an eyebrow as I read the text from Mingi.

Me: interesting question I hate him: well u said u didn’t like winter, so what do you like then? Me: not u, that’s for sure…

I couldn’t help but cackle at my own reply, feeling proud of myself over such little thing. I could imagine Mingi chuckling and shaking his head at it, perhaps glaring down at his phone.

Me: autumn or spring, really…not too cold nor too warm, in-between, just perfect u know?

There was a second of nothing until the bubbles popped up again, making me realize I was smiling down at my phone, so I quickly cleared my throat and got it together. There was nothing to be smiling at here.

I hate him: i get it, those seasons are really pretty…talking of pretty…do you really think i’m pretty?

I couldn’t help the loud scoff which left my lips at the same time as I rolled my eyes, very tempted to leave him on read and just go to sleep right then and there.

Me: i have already told you, mingi, i don’t think u are pretty because u a r e n ‘t, get it???

The reply was instant.

I hate him: hahahahahahaha; u are cute!

My body froze for a second, eyebrows furrowing as I reread his reply. What the fuck? Me? Cute? Yeah, sure, cute my ass—this idiot was testing my patience and kindness, once again.

Me: u’re disgusting, I’m blocking u I hate him: whatever u say, gorgeous, I know u a r e n ‘t!!!

My jaw clenched at the blatant mocking and I scoffed loudly as I looked ahead, glaring at nothing particular as my blood was boiling. He really thought I wouldn’t block him? There was nothing holding me back from doing so—suddenly the bubbles appeared again, and I looked down at my phone—just slightly curious.

I hate him: sorry if that was too much, i was just joking. i wanted to ask something all night, but i just didn’t know whether the timing was right or not or just whatever, but…are u okay? like…do you feel okay?

I gulped, my anger dissipating like it never even happened, leaving me confused. Was he now worried about me? Why would he be?

Me: i’m ok, why?

It took a little time for Mingi to answer, and it made me gulp as I read it.

I hate him: bcz your eyes were red when we met in front of the restrooms and idk…u just kinda felt off or smth…i just wanted to make sure. Me: i had a rough day, but i’m fine… thanks for asking ig… I hate him: ofc, anytime

Did he mean that? I couldn’t help but wonder. But there were so many things about Mingi that I didn’t know yet and…something changed tonight. I couldn’t completely hate him like before. The conversation we had in his car, the things he willingly shared with me were so personal and hard, yet he trusted me with them. I couldn’t help but feel good about it, thankful in a way, that despite my demeanor he still found me worthy of knowing about his past—of knowing of the backstory of said song we have listened to. I thought Mingi was all smirks and a cocky attitude, nothing in that empty and self-centered brain of his—yet he pretty much proved me wrong today, and for some reason I didn’t seem to mind too much. I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip as I looked down at my phone, realizing that it was past midnight now, I had to go to sleep.

Me: goodnight, i have classes early in the morning… I hate him: sweet dreams, y/n…see u at uni.

『I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?

'Cause I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?』

❱❱ Next chapter

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