#i love projecting onto fictional characters 🥰🥰

[poemsonmars]

please don't take her from me.

i don't even know who

i'm begging to at this point.

i am so tired of empty echoes

and the taste of blood.

please don't take her from me.

i know that everything i say

is littered with this plea

but she gets stuck in my head

—like a melody; like a disease—

and i can't think of anything else.

please don't take her from me.

the idea of losing her is

so terrifyingly unfathomable,

all of the other words i want to say

get caught in my throat

and i spend entire days

just trying to get them

to go down without choking me;

without ending up buried somewhere

in the bottom of my lungs.

please don't take her from me.

i've never been very good

at breathing, you know.

especially when she is around.

i've never been very good at

keeping myself alive when she is not.

-mars

#10/4/23 #the ones about heartbreak #mars.poetry #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #poets on tumblr #unrequited love #original poem #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #button poetry #poets corner #prose poetry #poetry about grief #jackie x shauna #jackieshauna #yeah yeah. i still have the brainrot #i love projecting onto fictional characters 🥰🥰

[wraithee]

Imagine if Aziraphale runs heaven like the bookshop and he’s just hanging out doing absolutely nothing but shuffling papers around to look busy while keeping inconsistent office hours and tracking Crowley back on earth all day long and stress snacking, and that’s what ends up ruining heavens plans for the second coming.

#I love projecting myself onto fictional characters 🥰 #it would actually stay consistent with the how the main conflicts in s1 and s2 sort of took care of themselves without their help #but also #I just want to see both of them down bad for each other #if aziraphale is avoiding work just know crowley is a mess too #this is a joke btw #aziraphale will rip that place apart #good omens #ineffable husbands

[elmaxlys]

Hii! For the favs ask game,

31 for juo, 18 for rika and 50, 48 and 1 for both!! :3

Ooooh thank you so much!! :DD

Juo:

1- Do you project onto this character?

In regards to gender and loving Rika, but otherwise no

31- Are you ashamed of liking this character?

Absolutely not. I used to be sorta ashamed (more like scared to share) of liking Juoka, which is why I didn't talk about them before I became friends with Choco and she encouraged me in preaching my truth lol but Juo alone? Nah.

Maybe because I had prior experience in stanning villains with no redeeming qualities (Donato) 🤔 (and Juo has the redeeming quality of being insanely hot)

48- What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS ABOUT HIS DESIGN

He's soooo!!!! He's everything!!! i fell in love at first sight in the first panel we saw of him!!! It's all good elements put together to create God's (Oba's) perfect creature.. The long hair, the muscles, the jumpsuit, the long-ass eyelashes, the missing eye, the tattoos hhhhhhhh I can't choose only one element!

If I do have to choose, I'm gonna go with the black lightning. It's so Juo, it summarizes his character so well.. Amazing decision 🥰

50- Your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character

Ooooh

This playlist - as for One Song in particular, right now I'm going with 18 by Anarbor IF YOU WANNA PISS OFF YOUR PARENTS DATE ME TO SCARE THEM SHOW THEM YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP. IF LONG HAIR AND TATTOOS ARE WHAT ATTRACT YOU BABY THEN YOU'RE IN LUCK

This post <- one day I'll complete it with the Seven Seas TL

Quote + panel:

adding more panels because I can:

Meme:

As for my artwork, right now it's the most recent one

Rika:

1- Do you project onto this character?

Oh yeah. I totally do. Middle children unite. I project so much it sometimes makes me lose sight of canon so it's not ideal and I wish I could put some more distance (I say while using him as my icon) but at the same time he's too much of a part of me and there's too much of me I see in him for me to really try...

As an aside: every time you see me talk about Rika having some grudge against Sniper? It's personal.

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Both, definitely. Hurt/comfort all the way. It's definitely something he goes through a lot (if not every time) in my fics: I break him down and then make him all better via Juo Love lmao

He needs some rest and I am delighted to provide that for him but boy do I love seeing him break down 🥰

48- What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

Call me Floor 9 because it's THE HAMMER. Dude is out there incorporating any sport he can to fighting with a hammer, he's killing people with Hammer-Kendo and he tried to play Hammer-Baseball, like he's So Real for that, also it's so good like yesss he'll get in your face and get covered in your blood when he kills you, unlike his siblings who fight with guns, he's close and personal with death.

Like it's such a heavy tool and it requires so much control if you don't want to fuck up your entire body trying to swing it and he just. he does it. repeatedly. He does kendo moves with a tool with a complete different balance and a wayyy more important weight than a shinai. Did he use a sledgehammer before? Did he recreationally watch sledgehammer videos like I do? Did he just do the whole calculation in his head the second his hand touched it? Did the "Rika Knows The Future" crack theory strike again? I am In Love with the fact Rika uses a sledgehammer. I used to joke that "Rika x Hammer-chan is OTP" but was I wrong??

50- Your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character

Song: I'm gonna go with Second Guessing by Get Scared and Daylight by Shinedown

Quote: rn i gotta go with this

My artwork (I kinda want to redraw it)

I'm also gonna put this here

meme because it's always Loving Rika Hours

as well as the Crack Theory

-----

Favorite characters asks

#thank you <3 #seriously <3 #honjo rika #juo #tenkuu shinpan #long post

[amorettopedri]

time to unfollow bye//

Bestie, don’t mind this anon.❤️❤️❤️

They are just salty about the fact that Pedri and Gavi are not glued to each other and let out their frustration on you. Sometimes people tend to forget that Pedri and Gavi are not fictional characters but real life people and need to snap out of their fantasies. I’m not being judgemental because I’m reading fanfics about pedrixgavi too and I also have imaginations or fanfic ideas and prompts running through my head (centering Pedri :) ). But I’m not projecting my imaginations onto them and their behaviour towards each other in real life and don’t have any expectations on how they should act based on my wishful thoughts because in the end we are going to get disappointed anyway - they are never going to meet our expectations based on the kind of fanfics we read. 🤭 I’m appreciating if they provide us with some pedrixgavi content though (for example in terms of Gavi kissing Pedri’s neck or hugging him). However, I also love Pedri and Ferran together so I’m not complaining when we get them instead. Nevertheless, we have to accept that they also have other friends: Gavi likes to hang out with Balde, Ansu and Araujo. And Pedri gives the impression that he feels most comfortable with Ferran and Eric.

I’m certain that we will eventually get some pedrixgavi content. Until then, we can only patiently wait and appreciate Pedri and Ferran’s friendship (which is beautiful).

I don’t get why the anon hates on you because your hands are bound: If Pedri and Gavi don’t interact, of course there is nothing for you to post about them. What does anon even expect?

I love you and your blog, so please disregard anyone who is ungrateful or makes you feel bad. Just don’t pay any attention to reasonless complaint.❤️🫶🏻

Personally, I love the side-ship aka Pedri and Ferran so I’m really grateful that you are posting about them.🥰🥰🥰

awwwwww you are honestly the sweetest, I really appreciate your kind words, thanku 😭❤

#anon #ask #@ anon i could kiss u right now #you are really sweet 🥺☹️😭 #i hope you see this 🫶🏼

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hey mom how have you been 💞❤️

I haven't been feeling well lately. Not physically just emotionally. You might not know this but I am on the chubbier side of life and sometimes it's really difficult to not have hateful thoughts about myself. All of my friends have been really supportive but sometimes just feel down and I have been having those days.

I just don't feel good about myself lately. Nowadays I don't get that many people committing about my weight or my body and before it was lot but now most are pretty understanding. The thing is my weight gain is purely something that is hormonal. it has nothing to do with any physical intake of any kind. it's just all the hormonal disorder.

I have strangers coming up to me giving me they don't know why it has happened and it usually doesn't bother me. But from the past few days I am just been really low.

I tried to think How fictional characters who are also my coping mechanism would react react normally it works but this time it's really bad.

Sorry for the rant but I really want to get it off my chest.

Love you ❤️💜,

Japan manager anon

You sweet angel 🥺 first off, I totally empathize with this. I've always been bigger. Legit I've been 6'1" and chubby since I was 13. I hit Puerto at like 10 and then stopped growing at 13. It was so frustrating and difficult because I felt like I was so alone and I'm honestly still working on accepting myself. It's not something that just happens overnight and taking your time to do so is really important!

Just know this, people who often say something rude or project their feelings onto others have miserable lives themselves. There is absolutely no need to point out someone else physical appearance to them. Like do they really think we don't see it daily? It blows my mind how rude people can be about someone else's life and I hate that you had/have to deal with that.

Unfortunately, as much as it sucks sometimes fictional characters can't help 😔 as much as I know Bokuto WORSHIPS use chubby people, he's not here to give us the hug and support we need.

But what Bokuto can't fill, let me just say that my Tumblr is always a safe space to vent, ask for help, advice or even if you need any reassurance! You are a beautiful person and you deserve respect and admiration just like anyone else does! Just know that you aren't alone in feeling insecure, it's something alot of us deal with. Sometimes those intrusive thoughts really get to us and honestly, our personal thoughts about ourselves often are the most harmful because it's hard to convince yourself of things.

I literally went thought a stage where I would stand in front of the mirror and tell myself "Tiffany you are deserving of love. You are beautiful and amazing! You can do anything you set your mind too and your worth is not defined by someone's opinion of you." Sometimes those little reminders help, just repeating them throughout the day, or heck even crying them out in the shower. Let me tell you, many of times have I cried in the shower while telling myself I'm deserving of good things.

So however you feel like expressing your feelings, go for it! Cry, scream, laugh, talk to someone, write literally there is no wrong way to feel your own emotions.

I apologize this got so long 😅 I'm hoping I made a point in all that rambling ❤️

Also I'm adding this to potential help cheer you up 🥰

Also can I add 👀 if Team Japan saw you being down on yourself, Aran would literally pick you up (because he's strong 🥵) haul you into the locker room and you'd be like 🧍‍♀️ 😳

And Aran would be like 👉🏻 look how beautiful you are YN! Right now! Say it!

You 👉🏻 🧍‍♀️

Aran 👉🏻 don't make me get Iwaizumi...

You 👉🏻 🧍‍♀️ 👀 I mean you COULD get Iwaizumi...

Aran 👉🏻😐😑 YN

You 👉🏻🙄 I'm beautiful...

Aran 👉🏻 not good enough...

By now Hinata and Bokuto have totally joined you because like 🙌🏻 locker room 🙌🏻 party

Hinata and Bokuto 👉🏻 YN you are so pretty 🥺

Aran 👉🏻 YN...

You 👉🏻 I'm gorgeous, I'm beautiful and I'm perfect just the way I am!

Bokuto and Hinata (featuring Akaashi as Aran 🥰) 👇🏻

Let me be, I'm dealing with very little gif wise 😫

#my lovely bbys #japan manager anon

[lingy910y]

Weekly Tag Wednesday Friday

thanks @lupeloto for creating the game and @mybrainismelted for tagging me

favorite tv show? shameless

favorite character? ian

favorite relationship in the show? gallavich

favorite sibling relationship in the show? ian and lip. also if you enjoy their relationship this edit will fucking kill you

favorite art form? books but specifically fanfics ty

a talent you wish you had? rn it’s sewing…then i can make clothes for my plushies

what is one thing that can always make your day better? coming onto tumblr dot com and seeing notes, fandom events/games, or amazing gifsets/fics/art on the dash

favorite fictional character of all time? still ian

dream place to travel to? japan

you’re planning a huge party, what’s the theme? gallavich wedding inspired 😌

favorite pizza topping of all time? plain cheese thanks

you can pick one celebrity to have dinner with…who? cameron monaghan yes my answers are very predictable

favorite movie that you kinda know is bad but still love? i think most of my fav movies are perfect despite popular opinion but the rwrb film…it just changed too much things so it’s not as good as the book but still good

how would you describe your style? casual

finally, something making you smile this week? my decomytree messages 🥰

combining that with last week's bc i didn't do it (yes this is the first time i've done a weekly tag wednesday the week after) thanks kat and @energievie for tagging me

choose a fandom: shameless

how did you first hear about it? i remember hearing abt it here and there on social media but not paying attention cause i wasn’t into live action at the time. i purposely searched up “top 10 canon gay ships” bc i was too frustrated with queerbait lmao. everyone was praising gallavich so i looked them up and gallavich scenes welcomed me with open arms 😌

do you own only merch? yes! from the gallacrafts shop: paper dolls stickers, breakfast boys stickers and stained glass window pin. i lost my fimo boys pin and i’ll never be over it 😔 also two keychains, three stickers, four fake id cards, two instagram cards, and a ring necklace with “shameless” embroidered on it that came with my gallavich plushies 🥺🥺

what thing involving this fandom do you think non-fans would be surprised to hear? seconding deanna—how it’s majorly a supportive community despite a quite tragic and graphic show

favorite character? the chick from the movie brave

in 5 words explain why they’re your fav: industrious, ambitious, conscientious, work ethic

choose another fandom: bnha

what’s your least favorite thing about the source material? the current war arc cause the pacing sucks

favorite ship: bkdk

best fanfic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31715602/chapters/78496537

one of the only longfics i ever liked bc it just got me so emotionally invested in updates 😭

describe the vibe of the fandom in 5 words: drama, competitive, complain, talented, discourse……….yeah

what’s your name spelled backwards? gnil

tell you how old you are the way a three year old might: i will be a grown up next year

what is your favorite ice cream? vanilla

tell me something you wish more people knew about you: how much hours i spend ruminating bc of anxiety on some days and how hard it is to control

where is home for you? my bed

if you could be an anthropomorphized stuffed animal, what stuffie would you want to be? idk ppl say i’m like a dog

the movie you wish everyone would watch: eeaoo, still think it’s an universal movie

what makes you really emotional lately? ppl saying nice things abt my fics, rewatching shamey with my friend

are you okay? kinda

tagging no one cause it's too much to read

#Youtube

[beepboop358]

Hello Bestie <3

I hope you're okay!

It's me again, with another stupid question.

So on my rewatch of ST S2, I noticed this newspapers' headline "Baby Fae's Baboon". The newspaper appears twice. In S2E1 and S2E5 when Lucas has his conversation with his father: he asks him how to apologize to a girl (Mrs Sinclair/Max).

Stephanie Fae Beauclair, better known as Baby Fae, was an American infant born in 1984 with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. She became the first infant subject of a xenotransplant procedure and first successful infant heart transplant, receiving the heart of a baboon. wikipedia

I'm sure it's not a coincidence if this detail appears twice in ST2, we know the Duffers care about details. So what do you think could be the narrative message behind this headline? How could this connect with the plot?

I thought it could be a ref to the Lab, you know, since they experiment on children. And in ST2, El's storyline is mostly about her origins, finding her mother, etc. Do you think it could connect to her?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts about this <3

Have a good day, take care!

hi bestie 💕 I hope you're doing okay too! Also bestie you have to stop saying all your questions are stupid, they are always so interesting and thought provoking, and you catch so many intricate details that are worth exploring! I always love your asks 🥰

I think you're right its not a coincidence :)

I think it's partially an attempt to place the story of ST in the real world timeline of events, so viewers can be reminded of what's actually happening in the world at the time that this fictional story is happening, which helps give the fictional story context. It also really fits in with the sci-fi themes of the show, so it's a great headline to use ;)

Going off the sci-fi themes of the article, I think this might be foreshadowing of some kind or have something to do with the lab like you suggested. We know the lab is roughly based off the gov. experiments in Montauk, NY during the Cold War and the MKUltra experiments (and I think the lab also may have some disturbing similarities to the Monarch Projects too based on some small details, but this hasn't been confirmed yet) anyways all that to say that I think you could definitelllyyyyy be onto something about how this maybe relate to the lab experimenting on kids, similar to how Baby Fae was "experimented on".

It may hint to the lab doing some eve more disturbing stuff to the kids than just using them as weapons. Maybe this is a stretch, but it might hint to the lab abusing kids by making them use their powers so much, that it physically damages their body, and they have to have organ transplants or surgeries to survive, or they are just physically damaged forever. Mike says something kind of similar in season 3 about El staying in the void for so long "What if she gets brain damage or something?". I don't think we have enough evidence right now to say that the Baby Fae newspaper and Mike's line are 100% for evidence the lab physically damaging kids and them having to have surgeries or transplants, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was - it's certainly an eerie thing that it gets brought up twice very subtly, like a lot of the show's hints do... But again there isn't enough definite evidence to draw this conclusion, just speculate :) I wonder if since we are returning to the lab this season and with all the time themes, if we might learn more about this.

An odd little similarity I found was that several people in this story, Bailey, Beauclair, Baby Fae, all start with B, and the show also has a few characters with B names, Bob, Barb, Billy. It's probably too much of a reach and just a coincidence though aha. (source)

thanks so much for the ask! I hope you're having a good day and staying well! xx 💜

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things season 4 #st4 theory #stranger things theory #st theory

[thrill-seeker-if]

Hi Aala! I'm really curious as to how you discovered if and cme up with this amazing story? Did something inspire the characters and the setting like fiction or life experience? I absolutely adore this story. It's so good. 😩💖

I'm also curious as to what stories/genres you would love to see more in if. I always ask this question on my favourite if blogs. 🥰💖

Hello Anon!!! I'm so glad i'm one of your favorite if blogs, that makes me so happy!!

How I discovered if... hm... I was actually browsing itch looking for different games. In my own coding experience, I've just made silly little games, nothing with a huge plotline or anything like that. I was kind of looking for inspiration.

One thing lead to another, and eventually as I was going through the filters I found interactive fiction. I've always liked writing and reading, so I was absolutely blown away by it. I think the first IF I read was Ascendance by @ascendance-if, and oh my god, I think that it really is one of the best things I've ever read!!

After reading it, I knew I had to check out more, and I think Scout by @anya-dev was also a huge inspiration for me. A Tale of Crowns by @ataleofcrowns was probably the IF that inspired me to start writing an IF myself. As a muslim and southern asian, seeing someone who is also from a southern asian background writing was just a huge boost for me :-) Representation definitely matters!!

For your next question, of what inspired the story: it might sound silly, but I actually dreamed it. I quote unquote 'played' through it myself. When I woke up from it, it had me in such a fit of inspiration that I wrote it onto paper, and it kind of sat there for a while. I submitted that draft for a school project, and my teacher really liked it, which is why I never had the heart to delete it-- and I'm really glad I didn't! Once I got into IF, I restructured it to fit the format.

I do lucid dream, so I thought that would be kind of an interesting way to structure it. Not like a rpg where you just play through it, but where you get to choose what you want to do!

The ROs are a combination of fiction and real life experience. N and Hannie are both based on me, borrowing various traits of my personality. I also took inspiration from my friends, in terms of personality. I wanted to draw from the people I knew best, because I want my characters to be realistic. I find in a lot of media, some characters are just given a personality trait and no flaws. Most people have multiple personality traits and MANY flaws, and I wanted my characters to be as close to real life as possible.

The setting is in Canada, which is where I live, haha. I didn't want it to be somewhere super far away, because this is probably the place I know best! And as a story based around solving a crime, I know Canadian laws best, IUSFHISFDIU

What stories and genres I would like to see... call me a silly little goofy moron but I LOVE fantasy school games. I just adore it. To be honest, I just love fantasy in general. And I would love to see more fantasy games with cultural themes, or going off of existing myths. I also love sci-fi, and I haven't seen that much of it in IF.

Hope this answered pretty well!! I hope you're having an excellent day!!

#ask aalaa #lovely anon <3 #thrill seeker if

[phcking-detective]

1-49 for the ask meme. I'm tryna Speedrun some Arthur content

Do you have freckles?

Some! not really on my face, but definitely on my arms and shoulders

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

I take my tea and coffee how I take dick (and sex in general): No. I'm allergic 🥰

What was the last song you listened to?

Crazy on You by Heart, I have a playlist that's called "Songs That Feel Electric Blue" and has 80s pop/rock, 00s pop that has the same vibe, the Weeknd, and remixed sea shanties :)

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Side! I can sleep a little on my back and not on my stomach at all

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

No, I need complete silence, darkness, a steady temperature, and nothing else touching me to sleep. No pillows, no partners, no stuffed animals

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

Writing!

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

A regular sheet, a knitted blanket, and then on top of that I have a lightweight throw OR a slightly heavier fuzzy throw blanket, and I alternate between which of the two is my Third based on temp

What’s your favorite band/artist?

Apashe; favorite individual artist: Alec Benjamin

Next favorites: Valentino Khan, MISSIO, Glass Animals, Billie Eilish, and grandson; I almost always like Lorde, Bishop Briggs, Florence + the Machine, Two Feet, Imagine Dragons, K. Flay, and Dua Lipa

When is your birthday?

April 4th yeah I'm an Aries, fuck you read my horoscope first 😎

How tall are you?

5' 3" mayyybe 5'4"? got boots and sneakers with 3" lifts tho

What color are your eyes?

Grey-green, honestly more on the grey side

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

my friends! Elaina, Giq, Ruby, Marn, and Ameera <3

Fears?

water, what lives IN the water, that I'm the evil twin, being completely Alone after my mom dies, that I'll never pass as male

What’s your favorite color?

Red has canonically always been my favorite, but I'm trying to branch out more into pink and blue lol

What’s your favorite season?

Spring

Want any tattoos? What of?

yeah, I need to get a small tattoo of a heart on the inside of my right ankle to honor a promise made to my sister

Want any piercings? Where?

ehhh no not really

and this is where I'd put my dick piercing--IF I HAD ONE!!

Who is the last person you texted?

my mom, always, I don't even need to look that one up lol

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

uhh my online friends totally count for this right? all of u *kisseys*

What/who do you miss?

my sister (died), previous best friend (stole my money and married a cis man with my exact same name)

How was your day today?

I worked out for half an hour and was an Exhausted Lump for another two hours after that, but I'm about to have pizza delivered so the day has recovered nicely

How much sleep did you get last night?

I need 12 hours of sleep to feel even slightly OK and that is not an exaggeration

Do you believe in aliens?

do I believe? no. maybe. do I fucking hope so?? Yes.

When was the last time you cried? Why?

oh here's a really neat trick! instead of getting upset and crying about your own life, which makes you sad and accomplishes nothing, simply project your trauma onto fictional characters, deliberately read fics about this trauma that will trigger an intense emotional reaction, imagine fictional characters providing Comfort Character with love and support actually, and speedrun therapy within the comfort and safety of your own home!

What’s your favorite decade?

none of them, I'm still holding out for literally ANY DECADE AT ALL that doesn't suck and in which I have actual rights, thanks

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

overly long sleeves, blanket forts, uhh can't really think of much else

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

gonna recommend these: All Systems Red by Martha Wells, Hunger Makes the Wolf by Alex Wells, The Merciful Crow by Margaret Owen

How are you, really?

yeah, thanks for asking!!

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

I make Broad Decisions fairly quickly, ie: Yes I want to do [x]. I then spend two weeks researching every possible facet and detail of [x]

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

the fucking pizza getting here I am so fucking hungry oh my god

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

probably have top surgery next year; giving myself a year to save up sick leave and not stress about hospitals and bills again after having a hysterectomy just a few months ago

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Rome. I've been twice and I love it so, so much!

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed, nani the fuck??

What’s your favorite flower?

sunflowers! they remove radiation, they're a beautiful yellow, and my sister loved yellow flowers

Do you currently have a squish?

pretty much all of my coworkers at the library. I wish we hung out more outside of work or even just texted / talking

Do you like your middle name?

haha yeah I just got a name change to make it what I want

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

dogs, but only because of how much I love Chow Chows, which are basically the cats of dogs

Do you have any phobias?

cotton balls. HATE them

Do you stay up late?

I try to go to bed at 10, usually succeed at 11. I consider anything past that to be "late" and past 1 am to be Horrible

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

yes, I love the beach but only if I can go swimming in the ocean! it needs to be warm

cloudy, actually. despite the above, I sunburn like a miserable little caucasian-to-lobster :(

What’s your favorite cartoon?

tom & jerry

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

literally just my friends, yall know who you are

Do you have siblings? How many?

one, she died about four years ago

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

my mom

Is there anyone you would die for?

my mom

What do you need when you’re sad?

my mom

also, bread. and money.

Have you memorized your phone number?

as opposed to what??

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

my mom!!

What does your last text say?

"Hi, I love you! Enjoy your supper <3" from my mom

#can you tell where I ran out of steam? lol #ask #answered #elaina-writes-things #long post

[hotmess-exe]

I'm asking you about your favourite OC😌 anything you wanna say!

thank you 😔 my tummy has healed

his name is Eric and he's like genuinely, actually my oldest original character. i luv him very much

he was originally the older brother of my very first OC but that girl was scrapped for being boring af many years ago. i never let go of Eric, though, and he quickly became my absolute favorite

he is very kind, very compassionate, and among the sweetest characters i'll ever make. he's stupid pretty and wicked smart. he's the sort to make friends out of enemies without even trying.

he struggles with depression and will do so, so much for others in his quest to not let people down, to the point of self-neglect. ...i think i've always known that this is a manifestation of my own personal baggage 😂😂

i plan to make him a love interest in my second interactive fiction project! very excited to finally write him in full again. and like, properly fleshed out for the first time. so much nuance and depth to him 😭 i can't wait

i share a stupid number of coincidental, retrospective parallels with him. i realized this during the pandemic lol. i foisted a lot of concepts and things teen!me did not understand onto this character when i first wrote him... just to eventually look back at my own life and be like, 'holy shit, that's me' or 'holy shit, wait. i've done that.' i was 13 when i created him, so this still trips me out:

he is and has always been gay, even though i didn't have any grasp of what being LGBTQ+ is like outside of the facts that gay men and lesbians exist and people hate them for no good reason. that 'them' now very much includes me 😂 and all my friends lol

he is and has always been a sex worker, even though i did not have a proper understanding of sex work and how/when it differs from trafficking at ALL at that age. i wish i could say i barely understood sex either, but i'm p sure i had a porn addiction in hs, so no Fast forward to me at Eric's original age (19/early 20s) and I was, you guessed it, doing sex work.

i had a deeply problematic and frankly embarrassing portrayal of an abusive relationship with his older boyfriend/pimp as an integral part of his story. and... it turns out the ""friendship"" i had with the old guy who was finding me clients at one point was a lot less of a "friendship" and way more of an exploitative, possessive pimping situ sold to me as a partnership. like, honestly--i can't even begin to compare these dudes, the fictional bf and this real-life mf i knew, because the parallels between them, and even me and Eric during that time, are so many. you'd think i could have taken a step back and been like, 'oh shit. this is actually really similar to some of the more toxic elements of the abusive relationship i've been writing for literal years now' but. y'know what they about hindsight

i play every single interactive fiction game i touch as Eric, first and foremost. every. one.

consequently, i (and everyone else once that second project starts) have the choice of games title Drag Star to thank for the epiphany that Eric obviously had to be a drag queen. it just fit. I could picture him in every scene with such vividness that i just knew it was right. like a missing puzzle piece. ..........and hilariously enough, this was about 2 years after i got really, REALLY into make-up and drag. so that was like... the opposite of what usually happens with those parallels lol

i've been playing dress-up games since there was only ONE website for it 😂 so now i'm very, very happy that i get to rediscover my love for those silly things with the perfect excuse: drag looks for my favorite precious baby OC, Eric 🥰

i think that's prob more than enough, thank you so much for indulging me, anons!

#look an anon #er stuff #hotmess #just me gushing about a fictional man nothin to see here move along #ask me

[actuallysara]

Hi! How are you?

I haven’t been in 911 Lone Star fandom long, tbh, but I couldn’t help but read some of your replies today… You said that part of the fandom is projecting their dislike for Ronen onto TK and maybe because I haven’t been around for long, but why would anyone dislike him strong enough to hate the character he’s portraying? Is he that bad in real life, or something?😅 I don’t really care about actors all that much, tbh and prefer to focus on their characters and stories, so I thought that maybe people take their anger out on TK because they hate Owen’s character that much, or because they believe that Carlos (whom I love, I won’t lie) had never ever done anything wrong in his entire life; or that maybe some (sadly) feel that TK’s struggles and mental issues are just too much for them; but to dislike a fictional character so strongly, simply because of the actor, who is portraying him…? So what’s Ronen’s jam, then? Is he simply too hyper, or kills puppies in his free time, or something?

Anyway, sorry for the rambling😅 Love your blog and wish you all the best in the new year!

hii! I'm doing good, what about you? and thank you, you're so sweet! happy 2022 to you too! 🥰

please never apologize about that! I love the rambling asdfg I guess people have their own reasons for not liking him, included the ones you listed, but I noticed that that projection I talked about is really common. And Ronen did nothing wrong that I'm aware of, he's just over excited about things and the show and people find that annoying saying that he's exaggerating and that he's cringey on social medias. At least this is what I've been reading around. Definitely not a puppy murderer lmao

#sara answers #anon #fandom ask

[poemsonmars]

i know you still worry

when i bury myself in silence,

playing a game of chess

with the words that could

describe what i'm feeling,

strategizing an escape

as if my life depends on it—

and maybe it does.

i'm sure you think i'm afraid

that if i tell you

everything that is wrong with me,

you will leave but my darling,

that is not the case.

i am afraid that you will stay.

i am afraid that you will

choose to build a home with me.

i am afraid of being captured.

this game is all that i've had

since childhood.

it is all that i have ever known.

my hands do not know how to rest.

-mars

#1/13/23 #the ones about heartbreak #mars.poetry #supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #my poetry #lgbt poetry #sad poetry #button poetry #spilled ink #poets on tumblr #i love projecting onto fictional characters 🥰🥰

[loverofallthingssmart]

4, 5, 8, and 11? sorry if this is too much 💛💛 ily hon

hi lynn!!! no of course it’s not too much!! here we go, 

4) favorite character you’ve written

maybe i’m biased but tam song like. okay, i just love him and maybe i get to project just a little bit. and writing him is SO FUN i love writing his dialogue with people he trusts, like linh and marella (because i don’t stop pushing my tam and marella friendship agenda) because he’s just so....idk and his inner thought process is SO interesting but he’s also a teenage boy which is just like-- anyway  he’s just wonderful for me to write i love him

 also, julie molina because i’m in love with her (although i don’t think i have her pov down as much as i’d like to, compared to tam) 

um also honorary mention for arnav my oc elf i wrote in to make keefe jealous in my kam fic because i projected onto him so hard and he’s endearing in an annoying way </3

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

either mai or biana mostly! (which is crazy...because i’ve written two fics each with their povs) mostly because i thought i wouldn’t really get their character quite down but i mean here we are....

8) favorite genre to write

i mean, technically not a genre but fluff. hands down like established relationship and friend group fluff because one. it’s so cute and two. the banter and dialogue come easily for me to write which is weird....seeing as how im single...but yeah!! just established relationship and platonic fluff is so 🥰🥰🥰 

(other than that, i guess fave genre to write would be realistic fiction because i have a severe attachment to modern aus 😭)

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

my descriptions hands down. also like, the authenticity of writing. like how i write how the character thinking and dialogue and just the character, in general, is WAY more natural than how i used to write before..

ly lynn!! thank you for sending an ask!

send me writing asks!!

#ask me anything #light of my lynn #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #tam song #biana vacker #e attempts to words on paper #writing asks #2 am ramblings