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poemsonmars · 10 hours

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What does The Tortured Poets Department mean to you?

it means everything to me it's so fucking good it's been on repeat every waking hour of the day since release i'm never turning it off

#there are so many good lyrics that make me wanna write!!!!!#genuinely this album is everything to me i am. not well #answered #not poetry #taylor swift

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poemsonmars · 1 day

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i don't have any dark secrets

but i do have a few light ones.

and i don't mean light

in that they're not heavy

because fuck they are,

but rather... well,

my secret is that i am terrified

to tell her that i love her

and how could that possibly

be anything but sunshine?

how could loving her,

in whatever horrible

form that may be in,

be anything other than

the single greatest thing

i've ever done with my life?

it doesn't matter if

she doesn't love me back

if i never get the courage

to tell her anyway.

i will keep my secrets

buried deep inside and

hope that their light

is enough to keep me warm.

i will keep loving her

and i will keep it to myself.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 4 days

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i don't want to

want her anymore.

i am tired of

breaking my own heart.

i spend all of my days

wishing she was mine

and all of my nights

hoping she never finds out.

i guess this is my curse;

unrequited love,

unreciprocated desire.

it consumes me whole.

it always has.

i am nothing if not a fool.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 6 days

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one night when

i was a little kid,

i was sitting outside

and a moth flew full speed

straight into my forehead

and died on impact;

which in retrospect is

one of the funniest things

that has ever happened to me,

but at the time it was horrible.

i remember crying when

its corpse fell into my lap.

death has been following me

and trying to get into my head

since i was a very young.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 8 days

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i'm sorry that we don't have

any childhood memories together.

i will not curse the universe

for waiting so long to introduce us

because i am grateful everyday

that i'm lucky enough to get to

call you my best friend,

but i cannot help that sometimes,

on days like this, i wish we had

known each other sooner,

had the chance to play together

in the yard and grow up

sharing secrets and jokes and

turning into the people we are today.

it feels like it though,

like i've known you my whole life.

like you were always

supposed to be my best friend.

like you always will be.

i'm sorry we don't have any

childhood memories together,

but i cannot wait to spend

the rest of our lives

making up for it.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 9 days

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i know it's silly to say this

because i'm a poet and all,

but i really am terrible with words

when it comes down to it.

when i think, oh i'd like to

write a poem for my best friend

to read on her birthday,

suddenly all of the words

that matter are nowhere to be found.

how am i supposed to tell her

that she is my favorite person

in the entire universe?

that my life is insufferably worse

when she is not around?

how do i tell her that

she has saved my life

more times than i can fucking count

just by sticking around

and loving me the way that she does,

so fiercely and effortlessly?

i don't think i've done anything

fiercely or effortlessly

in my entire life.

how are you supposed to

thank someone for

something like that?

how could you ever

thank someone enough?

there are not enough

i love you's in the universe.

-mars

#happy birthday abbie <3 #4/1/24 #the ones about love #mars.poetry #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #original poem #sapphic poetry #button poetry #writers on tumblr #writeblr #prose poetry #poetry about friendship #poets corner #poetscommunity

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poemsonmars · 9 days

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you are my favorite person to annoy.

and also to love and to cherish

and to watch movies with

and share my secrets with

and sit muted on calls with,

but you are one of the

only people in this world

that i feel safe enough to annoy.

i'm normally too terrified

of even the idea of other people

being mad at me for any reason.

but there are no buttons

in the world that i would press,

or bubbles that i could burst,

that would bring me half as much joy

as you rolling your eyes at me.

this is how i show my love.

this is how you make me

feel safe enough to do so.

-mars

#happy birthday abbie <3 #the prompt was: 🫧#4/10/24 #the ones about love #mars.poetry #emoji poems #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #prose poetry #writeblr #poets corner #poetscommunity #poetry about friendship #writers on tumblr

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poemsonmars · 14 days

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my mother opens my bedroom door

and asks me why i'm just

lying there in the dark.

"oh, the light. it hurts my eyes."

i say for what must be

the hundredth time.

i wonder how she doesn't

know this by now.

"there are other lights."

she points out. the lamps,

the fairy lights, the candles.

"i would have to get out of bed

to turn them on." i respond.

"so get out of bed." she says.

i wonder how she doesn't

know this by now.

i take a deep breath.

it shudders underneath the blankets

and my mother does not hear.

i wonder if she remembers

that i am still afraid of the dark.

-mars

#the prompt was: oh the light #4/12/24 #the other ones #mars.poetry #escapril #escapril 2024 #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #original poem #button poetry #writeblr #prose poetry #poets corner #poetscommunity

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poemsonmars · 15 days

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i am tired of being

afraid of everything.

i step into the fog

with open arms,

and it amazes me

how much it feels like rain.

i think i could drown myself

in anything if i really tried.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 16 days

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i know they are called

bad habits for a reason,

and i am sorry for using them,

but they are all i have left.

even the good ones

have turned rotten now.

stomach acid eating at the lining,

knives locked away in the cupboards,

a pack a day even on a good day

kind of rotten.

my doctor asks me if i am scared

of what will happen to my lungs

when i am older and i wish

i could find it in me to tell her

i've never once thought that

i might actually live long enough

for that to be a problem one day.

instead, i shrug.

"cancer, probably." i say.

i don't apologize this time.

i don't tell her that

i will let my body rot into nothing

if it gets me through the day.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 16 days

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if anyone else is doing Escapril please let me knowwwww !! i'd love a poetry writing buddy for next month <3

#pinning this for the month of april to help me remember <3 #escapril 2024

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poemsonmars · 17 days

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it is late and i am alone,

sitting on the front porch,

and i wish, more than almost

anything else, that i had someone

that wanted to sit with me.

someone to look at the stars with

on the nights when the weather

is nice and the clouds

feel like sharing their secrets.

someone that will ask me

to stop by the store on my way home

and pick up a couple of bottles

of that champagne that we like.

someone to wake up with

the next morning,

instead of sleeping in,

because a walk in the park

and a sit by a fountain

cures everything, even hangovers.

someone that will share

those kinds of secrets with me.

someone to stop me from arguing

by reaching over and

plucking a few flowers for me.

someone to say, "here,

i know these will make you sneeze,

but i also know you would rather

have them and be sneezy

than not have them at all."

i want someone

for the little moments.

i want someone that gets

that the little moments

aren't little at all.

-mars

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poemsonmars · 22 days

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i want to go back to writing

happy little love poems again.

i don't want to feel

like this anymore.

i want the grief out of my body.

knowing that i'm the reason

that it's there doesn't

make it any easier to digest.

if anything, it makes it worse.

i can't swallow down my words

the way that i used to.

it is my fault that i am alone again.

it always is.

i always end up here somehow.

-mars

#4/3/24 #the ones about heartbreak #the ones about mental health #mars.poetry #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #original poem #sapphic poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writeblr #prose poetry #button poetry #poets corner #poetscommunity

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poemsonmars · 28 days

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an excerpt from letters to my brother that i will never send part six

i've given up my

childhood for you.

i've given up my friends

and my home and

anything that's ever

brought me any comfort for you.

for the ability to go to

the grocery store again

without having a panic attack

every time i round a corner,

worried you're going to be there.

but no grocery store in the world

is far enough away from you

and everything is scary

and unfamiliar and

so god damn lonely now

and there's nothing

i can do to change it.

i've given up everything for you.

please just take it.

just take it and leave me alone.

i don't want to see you

at our mom's birthday party.

i don't want to hear from our aunt

that you're doing well.

i don't want to wish that

you weren't. i just want

to forget about you again.

i just want to be lonely in peace.

—mars

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poemsonmars · 1 month

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it does not matter to me

what color the flags are

when she is the one

that is the waving them.

let them be white flags

of surrender.

let them be rainbow flags

hung with pride.

let them be flags

of her home country,

a comfort to her in the days

that she spends missing

the building blocks

of her childhood.

let them be red flags, even.

let her tear my heart to shreds

only for me to say afterwards

"i should have known.

i should have known."

but i have always known.

and i still choose her.

-mars

#8/18/21 #the prompt was: 🏳️‍🌈🇰🇾🏳️#the ones about love #mars.poetry #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #sapphic poetry #poets on tumblr #original poem #spilled ink #writeblr #prose poetry #spilled thoughts #button poetry #poets corner #poetscommunity #emoji poems

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poemsonmars · 2 months

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breathing has gotten

harder again lately.

i'm not sure if it's the

gaping hole in my chest

where their love used to be,

or the fact that i'm alone again

and the depression has found

its way back into my rib cage.

or maybe it's the smoking.

i hate that i've fallen back into

all of my bad habits so quickly,

but it's the only way

i know how to survive.

i don't know why life insists

on teaching me lessons

but i hope the next one

is learning how to rest.

-mars

#3/5/24 #the ones about heartbreak #the ones about mental health #mars.poetry #my poetry #lgbt poetry #original poetry #sad poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled poetry #original poem #button poetry #writeblr #prose poetry #poets corner #poetscommunity

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poemsonmars · 2 months

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i don't know when i made

the switch from being

the person that always gets left

to being the one that leaves first,

but i can't look at myself

in the mirror anymore;

it's too dangerous now.

i spend most of my time

alone in my room,

mirror covered with a towel,

trying to get high enough

to forgive myself for becoming

someone that i don't recognize.

on the good days, i settle for

forgetting my own name.

on the bad days,

i don't settle at all.

-mars

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