Tumgik
poemsonmars · 10 hours
Note
What does The Tortured Poets Department mean to you?
it means everything to me it's so fucking good it's been on repeat every waking hour of the day since release i'm never turning it off
7 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 1 day
Text
i don't have any dark secrets
but i do have a few light ones.
and i don't mean light
in that they're not heavy
because fuck they are,
but rather... well,
my secret is that i am terrified
to tell her that i love her
and how could that possibly
be anything but sunshine?
how could loving her,
in whatever horrible
form that may be in,
be anything other than
the single greatest thing
i've ever done with my life?
it doesn't matter if
she doesn't love me back
if i never get the courage
to tell her anyway.
i will keep my secrets
buried deep inside and
hope that their light
is enough to keep me warm.
i will keep loving her
and i will keep it to myself.
-mars
42 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 4 days
Text
i don't want to
want her anymore.
i am tired of
breaking my own heart.
i spend all of my days
wishing she was mine
and all of my nights
hoping she never finds out.
i guess this is my curse;
unrequited love,
unreciprocated desire.
it consumes me whole.
it always has.
i am nothing if not a fool.
-mars
38 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 6 days
Text
one night when
i was a little kid,
i was sitting outside
and a moth flew full speed
straight into my forehead
and died on impact;
which in retrospect is
one of the funniest things
that has ever happened to me,
but at the time it was horrible.
i remember crying when
its corpse fell into my lap.
death has been following me
and trying to get into my head
since i was a very young.
-mars
30 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 8 days
Text
i'm sorry that we don't have
any childhood memories together.
i will not curse the universe
for waiting so long to introduce us
because i am grateful everyday
that i'm lucky enough to get to
call you my best friend,
but i cannot help that sometimes,
on days like this, i wish we had
known each other sooner,
had the chance to play together
in the yard and grow up
sharing secrets and jokes and
turning into the people we are today.
it feels like it though,
like i've known you my whole life.
like you were always
supposed to be my best friend.
like you always will be.
i'm sorry we don't have any
childhood memories together,
but i cannot wait to spend
the rest of our lives
making up for it.
-mars
22 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 9 days
Text
i know it's silly to say this
because i'm a poet and all,
but i really am terrible with words
when it comes down to it.
when i think, oh i'd like to
write a poem for my best friend
to read on her birthday,
suddenly all of the words
that matter are nowhere to be found.
how am i supposed to tell her
that she is my favorite person
in the entire universe?
that my life is insufferably worse
when she is not around?
how do i tell her that
she has saved my life
more times than i can fucking count
just by sticking around
and loving me the way that she does,
so fiercely and effortlessly?
i don't think i've done anything
fiercely or effortlessly
in my entire life.
how are you supposed to
thank someone for
something like that?
how could you ever
thank someone enough?
there are not enough
i love you's in the universe.
-mars
41 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 9 days
Text
you are my favorite person to annoy.
and also to love and to cherish
and to watch movies with
and share my secrets with
and sit muted on calls with,
but you are one of the
only people in this world
that i feel safe enough to annoy.
i'm normally too terrified
of even the idea of other people
being mad at me for any reason.
but there are no buttons
in the world that i would press,
or bubbles that i could burst,
that would bring me half as much joy
as you rolling your eyes at me.
this is how i show my love.
this is how you make me
feel safe enough to do so.
-mars
48 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 14 days
Text
my mother opens my bedroom door
and asks me why i'm just
lying there in the dark.
"oh, the light. it hurts my eyes."
i say for what must be
the hundredth time.
i wonder how she doesn't
know this by now.
"there are other lights."
she points out. the lamps,
the fairy lights, the candles.
"i would have to get out of bed
to turn them on." i respond.
"so get out of bed." she says.
i wonder how she doesn't
know this by now.
i take a deep breath.
it shudders underneath the blankets
and my mother does not hear.
i wonder if she remembers
that i am still afraid of the dark.
-mars
24 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 15 days
Text
i am tired of being
afraid of everything.
i step into the fog
with open arms,
and it amazes me
how much it feels like rain.
i think i could drown myself
in anything if i really tried.
-mars
72 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 16 days
Text
i know they are called
bad habits for a reason,
and i am sorry for using them,
but they are all i have left.
even the good ones
have turned rotten now.
stomach acid eating at the lining,
knives locked away in the cupboards,
a pack a day even on a good day
kind of rotten.
my doctor asks me if i am scared
of what will happen to my lungs
when i am older and i wish
i could find it in me to tell her
i've never once thought that
i might actually live long enough
for that to be a problem one day.
instead, i shrug.
"cancer, probably." i say.
i don't apologize this time.
i don't tell her that
i will let my body rot into nothing
if it gets me through the day.
-mars
23 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 16 days
Text
if anyone else is doing Escapril please let me knowwwww !! i'd love a poetry writing buddy for next month <3
Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 17 days
Text
it is late and i am alone,
sitting on the front porch,
and i wish, more than almost
anything else, that i had someone
that wanted to sit with me.
someone to look at the stars with
on the nights when the weather
is nice and the clouds
feel like sharing their secrets.
someone that will ask me
to stop by the store on my way home
and pick up a couple of bottles
of that champagne that we like.
someone to wake up with
the next morning,
instead of sleeping in,
because a walk in the park
and a sit by a fountain
cures everything, even hangovers.
someone that will share
those kinds of secrets with me.
someone to stop me from arguing
by reaching over and
plucking a few flowers for me.
someone to say, "here,
i know these will make you sneeze,
but i also know you would rather
have them and be sneezy
than not have them at all."
i want someone
for the little moments.
i want someone that gets
that the little moments
aren't little at all.
-mars
65 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 22 days
Text
i want to go back to writing
happy little love poems again.
i don't want to feel
like this anymore.
i want the grief out of my body.
knowing that i'm the reason
that it's there doesn't
make it any easier to digest.
if anything, it makes it worse.
i can't swallow down my words
the way that i used to.
it is my fault that i am alone again.
it always is.
i always end up here somehow.
-mars
56 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 28 days
Text
an excerpt from letters to my brother that i will never send part six
i've given up my
childhood for you.
i've given up my friends
and my home and
anything that's ever
brought me any comfort for you.
for the ability to go to
the grocery store again
without having a panic attack
every time i round a corner,
worried you're going to be there.
but no grocery store in the world
is far enough away from you
and everything is scary
and unfamiliar and
so god damn lonely now
and there's nothing
i can do to change it.
i've given up everything for you.
please just take it.
just take it and leave me alone.
i don't want to see you
at our mom's birthday party.
i don't want to hear from our aunt
that you're doing well.
i don't want to wish that
you weren't. i just want
to forget about you again.
i just want to be lonely in peace.
—mars
46 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 1 month
Text
it does not matter to me
what color the flags are
when she is the one
that is the waving them.
let them be white flags
of surrender.
let them be rainbow flags
hung with pride.
let them be flags
of her home country,
a comfort to her in the days
that she spends missing
the building blocks
of her childhood.
let them be red flags, even.
let her tear my heart to shreds
only for me to say afterwards
"i should have known.
i should have known."
but i have always known.
and i still choose her.
-mars
109 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 2 months
Text
breathing has gotten
harder again lately.
i'm not sure if it's the
gaping hole in my chest
where their love used to be,
or the fact that i'm alone again
and the depression has found
its way back into my rib cage.
or maybe it's the smoking.
i hate that i've fallen back into
all of my bad habits so quickly,
but it's the only way
i know how to survive.
i don't know why life insists
on teaching me lessons
but i hope the next one
is learning how to rest.
-mars
238 notes · View notes
poemsonmars · 2 months
Text
i don't know when i made
the switch from being
the person that always gets left
to being the one that leaves first,
but i can't look at myself
in the mirror anymore;
it's too dangerous now.
i spend most of my time
alone in my room,
mirror covered with a towel,
trying to get high enough
to forgive myself for becoming
someone that i don't recognize.
on the good days, i settle for
forgetting my own name.
on the bad days,
i don't settle at all.
-mars
113 notes · View notes