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#i love making people on the internet sad
nxptoons · 1 month
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Yall can interpret the ending however ;)
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napping-sapphic · 8 months
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
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hesitationss · 8 days
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Rath Roiben Rye/The Trap Card by Frostbite Studios for Enemies & Lovers: The Crown of Elfhame card game from Holly Black.
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yellowocaballero · 4 months
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man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍
YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.
I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,
and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.
It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.
But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?
That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.
Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.
This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.
Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.
I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!
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recallthename · 25 days
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I can’t stop thinking about Art viewing his queerness as something to grow out of.
Why he focuses so hard on Tashi. Why he drops Patrick after college even before he’s with Tashi. Why he speaks to Patrick the way he does in the sauna.
Yeah you could argue he’s mad about the cheating in the latter and I’m sure he is. He’s once again being left out. He can’t stomach it. But he’s also so so angry at Patrick for the way he makes him feel.
He’s obsessed with Tashi. Obviously he is. But that’s the sneaky thing about bisexuality. You can focus on the real attraction you feel toward a woman and use those feelings to push out any attraction you have to men. Which… kind of… works for him. Up until Patrick returns.
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nymphaforesta · 8 months
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c.
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sysig · 1 month
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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natsmagi · 9 months
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It's incredibly tough because we no longer have social media that's suitable for fandom interactions the way livejournal was. Individual journals + interest communities which could be easily locked/unlocked as you wanted. People had to search out what they wanted etc. Twitter and tumblr just can't do it (and let's not even mention tiktok)
ITS KIND OF SAD......... i was never really on livejournal when i was younger bc i was like 10 and did not know what the internet was capable of offering but even just being on deviantart in the early 2010s gave me a strong sense of community and support...... just a bunch of hobbyists doing their own little things and joining those groups deviantart had was alot of fun for lil kid me!
the best substitute we've got for livejournal these days is like. discord. but thats so annoying especially when theyre specifically locking content behind a discord invite since many of us may not even know if we vibe there!! and its intimidating to be thrown into a group chat with people who already have established bonds ONTOP of not even knowing if youll get along😭
while i think tumblr is relatively good for fandom posting and such i definitely wouldnt call it the best place to make friends with similar interests...... since its hard to really like. have actual conversations with people on here since the ask feature is pretty one-sided, tags arent meant to be responded to a majority of the time, the comments feature barely gets used and the dms system is wonky as hell. and twitter is just a cesspool of reactionary people who dont think before they tweet and are just waiting to make their next callout post, but god is it a good place to hold a conversation and bond with people................ you just cant win these days huh
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screw-u-vaanu · 2 months
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drjohnhwatson · 6 months
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one thing that makes me mad as a hornet is whenever I pick up a detective book especially if it’s in a series and I go to goodreads and see a slew of negative reviews becos inevitably I can tell you the tenor of it without even looking. “SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF” they all scream.
does your story have a duo solving crimes? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
does your story have the narrator be the sidekick? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
is your story’s detective eccentric in some manner of dress or personality? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
I’ve picked up two detective series recently (the gower street detectives, barker & llewelyn) and we are two for two with people gnashing their teeth over it. Sherlock Holmes isn’t the only detective? Hello?? I guarantee if Agatha Christie was a writer now and published her first Poirot story TODAY, people would be gnashing their teeth and growling about how it’s just a flimsy SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
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cephalonheadquarters · 11 months
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internet safety is a wonderful thing and so important and i love being safe online soooooo much
#do schools even teach internet safety anymore? i learned it in like elementary school#since i have two younger brothers 10 & 8 they have access to the internet and i guess i get a little bossy but i try to make sure theyre#being safe... if theyre able to talk to people i tell them theyre not old enough to do that yet..! the 10 yr old has a scratch account and#while scratch is fine i dont like that he can comment and read comments no matter how safe the site is#internet safety is so fucking important to me im dead serious#it makes me really sad to see a lot of young kids able to communicate with strangers Even if its safe! Theres always a risk#Like i met someone who was 9 on discord a while ago. ☹️ I told them they shouldnt be on it but i dont think they listened to me anyway#To be honest#Idk what the right age is to have full access to the internet. 13 feels too early but 16 feels too late but idk abt 14 and 15. ig 15..??#Id say it depends on just being a teen and how mature you are but idk#I dont think it really can be helped if you have access to the internet#I just hope kids are aware of the good and the bad and how to navigate the internet!! Because its really scary!#If you say you hate kids i dont trust you. if you make fun of kids (in a mean spirited way basically bullying) i dont trust you.#I would love to be able to help and be friends with kids so that they know better but unfortunately thats not always going to be possible#Its 3 40 am bye#Oh and i fucking hate snapchat and instagram and omegle. Genuine burning hatred for those stupid things fuck them#Even tiktok is better than those. And i dont even like tiktok
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creepykuroneko · 1 year
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Whenever I see asian, brown, and/or black Americans reinforcing, supporting, and upholding racism, colonization, imperialism, colorism, and any other belief system that not only harms them directly but other non-white communities as well and they still want to claim that they themselves are POC and face discrimination I feel bitter disgust towards them.
#yeah I know the oppression Olympics aren't real#everyone has their own problems#but the way so many Asian Americans contribute to colonization of the USA#refuse to admit they are guilty of anti-black racism and won't even acknowledge the Native American genocide really upsets me#then of course there's the colorism that every single Community is guilty of#don't even need to explain that one#the fact that my fellow brown people are also guilty of anti-black racism is upsetting as I feel we should be allies#and let's be honest there are black Republicans out there#whether it be through self-hatred or combination of multiple factors a lot of black people don't want to see other black people succeed#plus I've seen my share of black people on the Internet Posting pictures of themselves in red face for Halloween or#talking about how if Pocahontas was real she would be a black woman#fucken really?#plus many middle class and higher Asian Americans and African Americans don't want to acknowledge who's stolen land theyre living on#i 100% agree African-American should receive reparations from the US government#but I see people talking about how they deserve to have a plot of land and that makes me uneasy#of course there was that whole Asian American vs African American violence during the covid shutdowns#white supremacist love to see anyone who is not white tear each other down because it makes their job easier#I know we have our history between all of us that has left scars that never healed#I just find it so sad that we as a whole are still tearing each other down instead of trying to do better#I don't know how to properly explain this without going into a long ass historic rant#plus I don't want to#no energy#just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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I honestly don't know if I could have earned my undergrad degree if not for YouTube teaching videos and text to speech features for reading pdfs
#i just cannot read. too dyslexic.#god. if i could read i would be unkillable. i could code. i could learn abt lots of things#u dont understand how discouraging it is to spend hours trying to read a paper and just retaining none of it#i love to learn. i just wish everything with audio. except i also have issues with audio lol so i need the written and the verbal#i was just watching a video on jaccard similarly for a micobial network analysis thing#i spent hours today trying to understand the code description and then i do to a video description of jaccard#and im like oh. that fucking makes sense its just scoring the fucking overlap across samples dumbass#god bless the people making those videos. they got me thru math and chem and cell bio and stats and r coding#if i lived in any pre internet time idk what id do. not be an academic i guess#bc if i had to read physical books i would cry everyday and get no where#sometimes. dyslexia. makes. me. sad.#my dyslexia assessment says im smart when not constrained by language and time. which is like cool. fucking. that's really annoying#i crumble under time constraints and i cant intake or articulate info. great. rip#ugh. annoying. shout out to my dad for afflicting me with this curse. the dyslexia genes r so fucking strong from his family#me. my sisters and my cousin r all varying degrees of dyslexic#if u ask me to read and unknown word aloud its extremely embarrassing. im like a 4 year old guessing at words lol#i have 2 advanced stem degrees and very low reading comprehension#i love to read. i just wish i could read#unrelated
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i know it’s kind of silly, but it makes me so upset when i see something i love, a show, a movie, a song, whatever, and people make content about but they don’t get it. and i’m not talking about the good fan work, there is so much great fan work and i love that. im talking about all these silly jokes and skits about things that mean so much to me. like i’ve seen so many times the same joke over and over about the pillow fort in nick and charlie, and like yeah sure that’s a bit silly, but like it’s over and over again, you would think it is a major part but it’s not. or like i know the hunger games is super main stream, but when i see these skits of like “oh what if me and my bestie were in the hunger games” and it’s just not funny. it ignore any point of the book.
and yes im being a hater, yes this sounds gatekeepy, but it makes me angry.
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heroes-fading · 1 year
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alright your rockstar anon is back to talk except off anon bc you have provided me with a new set of brain rot
wouldve couldve shouldve?????? being That song was so real and !!!!!!! one of the things I love about it is the universality of the bridge - “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” can apply to SO MANY THINGS, theres so much relatability to it and there’s probably a trend that blows up to Ellie’s song with people resonating with the song
so I’m just imagining the wave of social media support Ellie gets during that law suit, and while the entire situation is horrendous, the public outside of the courts understands and they support Ellie fully
also cant remember if this is on your spotify playlist but may I propose a song rec: praying by Kesha
hmmmm just re-listened to song rec (I only remembered the vibes when suggesting it) and I feel like the religious undertones are either1) ignore the song rec2) a way to say fuck you to handing out bibles at a festival David
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LOVE thank you so much for being invested in this lil universe it makes me so happy!!! praying is a BANGER and dr l*ke was exactly one of the people I was thinking of when writing this iteration of david. kesha's court battle was really top of mind for me.
tbh I would love to believe in unanimous public support for ellie but after living through the past two years on social media...i think a lot of people would get it and for others it'd take the article and a lot of other women and girls coming forward to break through to them. and it shouldn't have to. but this is the world we live in. it helps that a record producer would be without the built in fanbase of movie stars or directors or big acts, so the backlash to ellie publicly wouldn't be that bad.
the support would probably outweigh the backlash, especially with another big act in her corner (joel's fanbase of random anti mainstream middle aged dudes and the Depressed Community would probably have her back and follow his example) but others would stay entirely silent for fear of retribution until tides really turned.
the saddest part of it is how common it is with women who come forward - and now we suddenly have the precedent of defamation lawsuits for women even daring to speak now even in vague terms. the closest we get to justice is when multiple women speak out and the solidarity that exists there but like...by that point that shit is serial.
the people that get it though fucking get it.
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vaaarnarebog · 1 year
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challenge:
tell me the trait that makes animals unworthy of respect and happy lives, why is it okay to hurt and kill them?
animals don't speak? some people don't either
they aren't as smart as humans? babies eint that smart either
they are alive to be eaten? would it be ok to breed people for food?
it goes on and on, any trait you can think of doesn't stand up when you put it on a human or even an animal you love because you cant morally justify hurting and killing a being that wants to live and be happy.
please just think (even do some research about what their lives and deaths are like) and do something about it.
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