#and for others to feel secure around me

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #today was….not good #and at one point i had a moment #where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it #but im still really hopeful it will happen some day #because all i want in this world is to feel secure #and for others to feel secure around me #and for everyone to feel secure around people they love #because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t #but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all #im manifesting it #im completely okay btw things just got a little rough #and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay #im gay and i like sleeping #also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever #im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

#web weaving #star trek web weaving #st voyager #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder #I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in #but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances) #what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves #and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan #I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa #both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them #But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over) #and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that. #Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in #to that temptation? #They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because #it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven #has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others. #To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who #are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to #for different reasons (captain & vulcan) #they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of #ship and crew safety. #Janeway & Tuvok #star trek voyager #st voy #when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always #have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc. #Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her

[skoulsons]

Thinking about winter and their physical affection and now literally none of these happen under happy circumstances.

#the second theyre together in their little father daughter unit #it’s immediate proximity and being comfortable with each other #and then it all crashes and burns five days after #but like!! enough that she holds the side of his face trying to figure out what to do to save him!!! #how she holds his hand during winter when it’s an especially bad day and she just wants him home!!!! #HOW HE FINDS HER AFTER DAVID AND IS SCARED AND SHES SCARED AND SHE PUSHES AGAINST HIM BECAUSE SHE THINKS HES ONE OF THEM #BUT THEN HE GRABS HER FACE AND HE SAYS HER NAME AND HE SAYS LOOK AT ME AND HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE #BUT SHE KEEPS PUSHING BUT THERES THAT FAMILIAR WARMTH AND FEEL AND SO SHE SEES HIM EYE TO EYE FINALLY #AND HE GUIDES HER TO HIS NECK TO THE FUZZY PART OF HIS COAT AND DOESNT LET GO OF HER FACE TIL SHES SAFE AND SECURE #AND HE WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HER BACK AND BEHIND HER NECK AND HERS GO OVER HIS SHOULDERS AND BEHIND HIS NECK #AND HOW SHES COMPLETELY ENCAPSULATED IN HIS EMBRACE BECAUSE SHES SO TINY AND FITS THERE SO WELL BECAUSE THEYRE PUZZLE PIECES #EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY #AND HOW HE’LL PULL HER AWAY AND HOLD HER FACE AND TELL HER HE’LL NEVER LEAVE HER AGAIN #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie

[statementlou]

i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.

well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together. And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)? So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.

#I feel like the follow up anons to this will logically be SO WHY NOT BRAD so lemme just jump on that cause I don't really want to #have a whole thing about that #honestly for me it's WHY BRAD. It makes perfect sense for him to be with harry all the time (and therefore for them to borrow each others #jumpers yes) so why would I think they were dating any more than I think H is dating his security guard or luis. the fandom just latches #onto the idea that people around them who they think would look hot with are a thing but other than that literally NOTHING about this guy's #association with H is actually different than many other employee/pals imo and I see literally nothing that suggests anything going on ther #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #I mean I DO think Harry has weirdly fluid boundaries around considering his employees friends in a way that seems like he doesn't #really GET the power differential possibly (because how could he he's been on that side of it his whole adult life) but I'm not there #behind the scenes with them; hopefully that's not the case #but that's a separate issue #blah blah blah #long post #I TRIED to keep it short and tidy but NO people gonna ask the long form questions #which btw I appreciate I do enjoy a good thoughtful anon thx

[tariah23]

Crying at the video of that dude going around asking poc and black folks if they could change their race, what would it be and every nb in that video we’re saying “white,” because of privilege with their whole chest, albeit, a little bit ashamed, while EVERY black person looked at the dude like he was crazy and was like “NO!? What the hell are you even talking about?” Like….. yeah, of course.

Also… Right

#of course nbs will fold for that sense of white security they already turn into kkk members when it comes to black ppl for free #so of course they don’t see #any issue wanting to be white for the perks while black ppl know better 😭… #like #and sm of them center themselves around conservative ideologies as is… no one said that they wanted to be black for obvious reasons lmfao #rambling #black ppl love being black I can’t speak for the fragility of others who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and would jump at the #chance to be white that’s insane to me #why would you want to be another race in the first place why would you want to be the race of the people who mock you #it was mostly Asians and Hispanics saying this shit too that could be be a black person 😭

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I've noticed I seem to be the only one on Tumblr that actually talks about Roxy specifically. I feel like that can't be true yet I've so rarely seen it anywhere

Like maaan I'm sat here thinking about the possibilities of what Glitchtrap would learn getting control of Mimic's security node Roxy and yet I've basically never seen anyone else mention it. This is actual canon that she's Mimic's security node. It's implied an entire team of people from the Raceway died to Mimic and that she's keeping the Raceway closed on purpose.

Did no one else notice? Or am I just not seeing the other people talking about it?

#I'm not ranting or anything I'm just wondering where the roxy fans are at #why's it just me talking about her man where is everyone #obviously not everyone's going to have my ideas and that's completely fine but where is everyone #I'm in an echochamber of myself sometimes and I'm just wondering if it really is just me doing this stuff #maybe I should do a fic for this stuff and be the first fic on ao3 in months with roxy tagged that actually has her in it #I did kinda feel like writing last night so maybe I will #it was about roxy and foxy though not specifically security node roxy #so much good stuff to do we'll see how it all goes #wait sdfhsfs so I have the Roxy Blorboposting monopoly here dfsfsd #like yeah I don't mind it just being me it's fine but like sometimes I wanna see what other people think of the same stuff I've noticed #but no one seems to do that so I'm just like??? damn is it really just me??? #do I gotta do everything myself around here or what?? #pop rox talks

[autogeneity]

ough guess I am regaining the sense of being Personally Responsible for all and sundry occurrences

but also not sure what I'm imagining I might have done about a clearly doped up man chasing another with brick in hand

#I have to assume for my sanity that he did not actually bash his skull in #in broad daylight. near a very busy area. #surely not right? but I do not Know. I did not follow them #I feel like anything I might have done would have as most likely outcome he'd turn on me instead which I don't have any defence for #maybe one day I will but right now I'd just up and die #maybe I could have run around for security or something idfk #m #cw scrupulosity #cw violence #might talk to instructors when classes resume what they advise for situations like this #anyway fuck man!! #also I should maybe stay inside. christ #I know festive season is a particularly dangerous time but man #people are everywhere!! how is this not a mitigating factor :/ I think it is an aggravating one? #the other day the bus driver was like oh shit did you see this guy just robbed that one on the sidewalk. right now #literally midday mid city #shit's so fucked

[icewindandboringhorror]

I’m always paranoid of my tumblr being deleted or malfunctioning or something like that someday, so here’s other places to find me/follow me, just in case lol

~ instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lucalicatte/

~ main youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/LucaLiCatte

~ games/sims youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@cloudycatte

~ facebook page (I rarely use this because I hate facebook but.. it at least allows text posts better than instagram does, so idk maybe I’d use it more if tumblr went away? lol) - https://www.facebook.com/cloudycatteart/

~ Other Links (stuff I don’t use often/isn’t Main enough to list here, like twitter, neopets, other tumblr sideblogs, youtube channels, etc.) are here - http://icewindandboringhorror.tumblr.com/otherlinks )

#An updated version of this since some of the links on the old one are no longer the same lol #I might make a website website one day (not with a custom domain since I'm not paying for that/dont have the money lol #but like a 'my name.weebly.com type thing lol) but I haven't had the time recently. If I ever get around to it I'll update the post and #reblog that version. ANYWAY.. I just like to have one of these written out to reblog every once in a while. During the once ever few months #when poeple are like 'tumblr is failing again! it wont survive!' which has happened like 80 times but I'm still always like :0c what if! #also love the ms paint art done with a mouse ghhj #ANYWAY.. also if you want to see the stinky game I made that's not actually related to my own worldbuilding really (why I have never #posted anything about it publilcy because it's like.. how do I talk about it lol) I have my itch.io linked in the 'other links' page #as well as my General Projects blog. which talks about all the ongoing and upcoming projects I want to do that are #actually set in my world and can give you previews of some of the things I'm working on. Currently resuming my Game after abandoning it #basically for the entire pandemic and a little before that - as mentioned before - so that's OUgh.. in terms of A Lot Of Work #Especially since while kind of 'revamping and updating' I want to add a few features which are mostly easy but every once in a while #I don't understand something and it's like....... hGGhh...... Ironically despite Blogging I just hate talking to people in public open foru #.. I love privacy and security lol.. and I always feel that ONE day I am going to have a question that has not already been asked on a foru #somewhere and I am going to have to post myself and.. no.. I shan't even imagine it.. It's not even really social anxiety it's just like.. #efficiency.. instead of wating like days to get an accurate response and resolve the problem with the general public I would rather just ha #e a one time 30min conversation with an expert and resolve it quickly. PLUS then I also only interact with One stranger instead of Many Of #Them lol.. any 6+ yrs of experience Ren'py experts hmu so I can pay you like $50 to have a single 45min conversation #with me over an insanely simple question and then never talk to you again until a year later when I have a second question. hhjb #ANYWAY.. I still really don't like instagram or it's layout and I never understood how it works like.. if I should be tagging photos or wha #or how you really use it and I just... euGH... stimky.. but it is one of the most popular so I feel obligated to link it. I wish facebook w #sn't such a nasty poo poo because I do actually like the variety of posts you can make and how Pages on facebook operate. In the scense of #it being similar to tumblr that you can make a VARIETy of styles of post. not just Only Post Photos or Only Short Text or Only Video which #is still like.. how the funk does sutff like that even get popular lol.. the Limited nature.. hewwo.. but alas.. and NO way I'm touching #fucking Threads please do not make an account on there and don't let your friends do it and don't let that shit catch on lol. #BUT YEahg... links...... just in case.. i hope tumblr stays aroundin it's current format forever though lol.. #I'm pretty sure even facebook doesn't have audio posts. or tags the way this does. or CHRONOLOGICAL FEED. custom html for pages.. aaaaa

[spaghettiandart]

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. A FNAF DAEMON AU WOULD GO INSANELY HARD.

(Rambling in tags)

#*opens up art app* #okay look. LOOK. i have it all figured out (no i dont) #william would have a bunny. because obviously. thematic stuff yknow. #i think michael would have a foxhound. like before his daemon settled it would usually take the form of a fox but after the bite... yknow #if the bite didnt happen it would have been a fox #vanessa's is a jackrabbit and gregory's is unsettled but usually takes the form of a lemur #now the interesting thing is that in some forms of media a daemon is a guiding spirit and in others its a manifestation of the human soul #now. bear with me here. #what if the animatronics from security breach gained daemons when they gained a certain amount of sentience. #what philosophical ramifications would that have in universe. #additionally: dead people. ghosts. their daemons would still hang around id think but not in the same form as before. #maybe the daemons are unsettled because the ghosts business is unsettled or maybe the daemons are more skeletal versions of animals #saying this because susie should still have her dog when shes in chica #cassies daemon would be unsettled but i think shes one of those middle school wolf girls. shell definitely have a wolf. look at her. #itd be hilarious to give CC just a giant bear in a future where he didnt die. #henry has a dog i can feel it in my bones he has a fluffy sheepdog #charlie... i feel bird energy. i do not know why. maybe something like a raven. death symbology yknow. #fnaf #not art #i should... write this all down #elizabeth and CC would unfortunately be unsettled when they die :( #elizabeth also gives me otter energy i do not know why.

[1o1percentmilk]

i love my security prof he's like if suzuki touichirou was real and wasnt a terrorist and gave lame ass computer security lectures instead

#yeah he kinda looks like how toui looks like in my head #look i know it is wrong of me to have these feelings but i also spend a lot of time thinking abt him normally #on acct of him running the security and privacy lab here #(let me in i am normal and can be trusted around my fixations) #imho ithink he actually kind of sucks at lectures but is otherwise very interesting i think i prefer one of the other security profs #but he gets some points for being a hot dilf <3 #yap #ohmy god his little aside about vampire wire keyloggers right now oh my god i tbink i hauve covid

[freebooter4ever]

You know, one thing ive been thinking about the whole keke's outfit thing...it continues to baffle me how the straight heterosexual view of women's 'attractiveness' STILL tends to equate scantily clad with 'availability' or 'asking for it' or 'putting it on display'. As if wearing something skimpy is what threatens the boyfriend's position as the only man who is allowed to be attracted to his girlfriend.

But like. And i cant speak for all women attracted to women here. But i KNOW i am not the only woman who watched nope, caught the VERY SUBTLE HINTS, and was immediately like 'oh she is the hottest thing ever I AM DEVOTED TO HER' because we are starved for lesbian characters just being allowed to exist and be attractive on screen without catering to the male gaze. Like the akira slide and motorcycle scenes? Sexy as hell. The little dancey thing to classic music? Sexy. Her general refusal to sit upright? Still hot. And she was doing it all in slightly butch but still extremely stylish clothing that basically covered everything. And i mean she was still the most attractive character on that screen the entire time, i probably missed half the movie because i was just watching her the whole time. And it had absolutely nothing to do with how little she was wearing.

Like yes keke herself also looked sexy in that dress/bodysuit that her boyfriend hated so much. But why is it THAT that makes him insecure? Why not the thousands of lesbian/bisexual girls who watched nope a few too many times just to daydream about dating a girl like emerald one day?

#Journal shit #My own insecurities are all about emotional intimacies #Like the physical attractiveness stuff doesnt make me jealous #If other people find my significant other attractive thats fine #But if it starts to feel like there is someone who would be better suited for my significant other emotionally or personality or whatever #Yeah lol #It seems like with men its very much about control #They want to control the relationship and feel secure that their woman is performing *sexy* only for them #Though i would guess an independant woman scares and intimidates insecure men too #Like a woman who has a choice to just walk out scares them #I have tried and tried to wrap my head around shit like this #Like my abusive ex used to HATE all my friends #Every. Single. One. Of. Them. #And he refused to believe i wasnt secretly wishing i could date every other person in my life #Like everyone was a threat #And i bent over backwards trying to make him feel secure nothing EVER worked #I lost tons of friends that year 2011 is hell year for a reason i was SO isolated and lonely and hermity #I would make friends and then lose them quickly partially because my boyfriend didnt like anyone #And its not like he wasnt very vocal about the girls he ACTUALLY wanted to be dating who werent me #and how much he resented me for not being prettier more talented more elegant/refined whatever #It was a mind fuck and always made me feel like i was going crazy trying to jump all the hoops #Even after he dumped me theres still sad sack journal entries on this blog of me sighing about how much i loved and missed him lmao #I took all his insecurity and hate and turned it on myself like why couldnt i BE better why couldnt i make him happy #Spoiler alert that didnt work #I guess i always felt like i kinda deserved it i was mostly ugly and not worth much and who can blame my ex #But seeing women who have it all STILL get stuck dealing with asshole behavior? :( makes me sad

[steveharrington]

sorry i’m going to complain about covid again so if you���re tired of that. scroll. but my fucking god the guilt of being the one who brings it into your home….knowing it isn’t your fault but like feeling like a little worm for potentially making your parent sick or potentially messing up the holidays….just having to wait to see the consequences of it every single day…..and just not knowing anything for certain at all, not knowing when you’ll test negative again or when you’ll get your taste/smell back or where you got it or when you started being contagious dear GOD it’s a health anxiety girls worst nightmare. and everyone told me it was just a cold

#and i know i am very fortunate to not have gotten sicker and not live with an autoimmune disorder or any other disability #about to admit something SO embarrassing on the tl but i don’t care anymore #my whole life when i am anxious i have used the smell of my beloved childhood security blanket to calm down and i can’t do that anymore :( #bc i can’t smell anything :( #ANDDD it’s fucking me up bc recently i’ve felt like i have no autonomy and i was like okay i’ll go to the mall and walk around :) #that’ll help me reclaim my autonomy and feel less anxious about being out in the world it’ll be so good for me! #i go and boom i get covid the ONEEEE time i try to be alone and feel less anxious about it

[floral-hex]

Haven’t been sleeping well because, and this is the stupidest reason, I’m so full of damnable longing. All I do is yearn and pine and want.

#I hate it! #I just want to fall in love! #not long distance. not through an app. I want to meet someone and be awkward and flirt and be messy and work for it. #I’m 35 now and I feel like I’m too old for that #which yeah I know sounds ridiculous. life goes on. I’ve got time. blah blah blah. #but I do wish I’d done the standard meeting and falling for someone in school and marrying young and having kids #all that milquetoast basic stuff #BUT IT’S NOT BASIC! I want that! I want that security and young love that just grows and grows! #can you imagine building that kind of connection with someone? #I know there’s plenty of valid criticisms towards marrying your high school sweetheart but come on… lemme dream a little #I don’t want to fill out applications online and trawl dating sites for someone! #I want the friends to awkward more than friends to maybe more to yes! please why did we wait I know you. I’ve known you. I accept you. #I want someone to know me and want me for who I am #aaaaaaaaaa I’m fucking foaming at the mouth #I can’t stop thinking about it and it makes my chest ache so much #and I feel like I’m too old for that! I have no social life! I’m not in school around other people! how could this even happen for me? #stupid! #😮‍💨… okay… calm down Ian… it’s cool. we’re cool. #I don’t want to sleep. I just want to lay in bed and imagine being in love all night. #gross. gross gross gross. #you can ignore this #goodbye forever #text

[nightingalesighs]

What really pisses me off when people are like. No child should be friends with an adult; it’s (insert word/phrase that has been misused so much it’s kinda ceased to have meaning to me anymore) is… My older friends? Even though I’m 28 and yknow. An Adult. Have literally saved my life. Like not only do they have more knowledge about how things work (like Medicaid and food stamps and student loans and resumes and and and all the other shit nobody bothers to teach you and can be hella confusing/nearly inaccessible unless you Know but is hella important/can really fuck up your life if you’re not careful) and like…more experience so when they tell you “it’s gonna be hard, but you can handle it” or “I know it looks scary, but it’s not that bad and I promise you’ll get through it” or “it doesn’t matter if don’t graduate college, look at me. I didn’t. I’ve got a stable, well paying job. It’s not impossible to be comfortable without a college degree. And look at (other friend who is sitting right next to them), they worked their ass off for a double degree and currently not using it! You’ll be okay, you’ll figure it out.” your brain can actually believe them cuz yknow. They’ve been where you are. They have that life experience. And they’re not gonna lie to you because they love you and respect you too much to do that.

Like I don’t want to make it sound like friendship is a commodity, but older friends and intergenerational friendships can be so extremely valuable, especially to vulnerable younger people in abusive households. And I don’t even mean like in that they can offer you a place to crash cuz not every friend is gonna be able to do that and that’s OKAY. But maybe they can still help you in other ways. Even if it’s “just” holding your hand and validating your fears while you cry your eyes out but reassuring you that they believe in your ability to work through it. They believe in *you*. (And yes, I REALLY appreciate the same sentiment from friends my age and it’s also extremely helpful and I love them so very much. But it just sorta hits in a different way coming from an older friend. Not in a way that’s better or worse. Just different.)

Also something something seeing that you have a future when you can’t see past the next year or six months is just. So fucking reassuring.

Also. Older friends are just plain fun. I love my older friends and my life would be so much poorer without them. So yknow. Fuck people that condemn intergenerational friendships.

Also also something something something ‘fuck you for making me feel terrible/paranoid about wanting to offer my own experience to those younger than me. To help them in any way I can. As another fantastic and dearly beloved friend says. “If you start sounding like my mental illness, YOU are the problem and maybe need to re-evaluate some things.”’

#ignore me #im just all up in my feels about that time my friend twisted around from the passenger seat of the car to hold my hand and comfort me while #I was crying and terrified about the upcoming semester. that said it IS actually not good that you’re having panic attacks and chest pains #just thinking about going back. and was so kind and understanding and calm and she listened and held my hand. or the other friend who grew #up with little financial security. worked two jobs to pay her college tuition because her parents just didn’t have the means to help her. #and now she’s married to a surgeon and EXTREMELY financially secure and because of her own experience she is just soooo. im gonna pay for #your dinner because I can and it won’t affect me or stress me at all and I want you to save your money. and if you need money for some #reason just let me know and we’ll figure it out because I have the means to help in this way and I’m gonna do it dammit and if you need to #or the friend that sincerely told me to call her if I needed someone to talk to. even if it’s the ass crack of dawn or 3 in the morning. #or my friend (my Person) who when I asked if it was okay to tell my cousin her address while visiting her so my cousin could pick me for #dinner. said ‘of course you can. this is your home too’ (home as in your safe here and home as in you are loved here and home as in you will #always be welcome here.) #like…just. intergenerational friendships guys #they are literally lifesaving #don’t deny young people these friendships #but as someone who has also been the Older Friend #don’t make them feel bad for just loving and caring about another human being #that’s what we do. that’s what humanity is #i scream into the void #personal

[lilgynt]

i think i like will so much bc something is deeply wrong with him at his core. something isn’t right. and it’s not any other reason but him. it’s not the empathy or autism it’s not his childhood it’s not even his work or jack and hannibal something is deeply wrong with will graham at his core with no outside influence and he hasn’t done anything wrong - hell his whole job is helping people, he collects strays off the road nurses them to health and keeps em especially the ugly ones, and generally is kind if not nice whether it’s a time he’s kind by instinct or pushing himself to be kind he still is and all of this just to say something is so wrong with him in such an inescapable way that he’s always 100% conscious and self aware to

#personal #mr graham i love uuuuuuuuuuuuu #even graham in the books #that scene with the stoner son and his like prison friend and graham is like i’m very angry at this guy bc he scares me so i’m threateningt #to send him back to prison to feel more secure or whatever the passage was graham i think of you daily #and that line where jack is like i think wills knows exactly what’s happening in his head and that’s why he doesn’t want anyone in there #will graham could live a perfectly polished life from his birth to death never do wrong by anyone or thing once and even if everyone around #him treated him normally and his empathy didn’t get in his way i think will graham could still perfectly #understand laying in bed curled up staring at nothing bc something is not right and it’s not even something you can pinpoint or NAME #it’s just. an understanding and a drop in ur stomach that doesn’t end #anyway i think hannibal and will dealt with the awareness’s that sormthing was wrong/ other about them Completely different and it’s a lil #funny

[leqclerc]

So Charles has been getting mobbed by fans again huh 😑

#text #it might just be the introvert in me but how hard is it to be normal or at least respectful around your supposed fave #having your y/n main character moment is apparently more important than respecting boundaries #like imagine getting screamed at and having people piling on top of you with zero concern for how you might be feeling about it #my worst nightmare tbh he's stronger than me but also he shouldnt have to be??? literally get this man more security this is out of control #and like i get asking for a pic i have done that before w drivers but my god have some couth??? read the room??? #instead theyre trampling all over him *and* all over each other to the point where it's actually getting dangerous #bro it's not a mosh pit relax #not to be an Old Person abt it but it really used to be a lot calmer before the sport exploded in popularity #more fans and more exposure can be a good thing but in this era where ppl cant behave bc *their* main character moment is all that matters😑