#i literally post my medical records and news articles

[brokenfoxproductions]

My life is a roleplay game now, apparently. A weird Christian kid who likes to write supernatural CP fanfiction said so. I should tell my doctors I'm cured now. Gotta ask the Sentinel newspaper to redact the articles about me and the people I know. They're clearly wrong.

#sarcasm #fake claiming #i literally post my medical records and news articles #lol like????

[xoxoladyaz]

It Hits Different This Time, Part 2

Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Rock Star Eddie x Steve Harrington

TW: Mentions of alcohol, drug abuse

QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm so sorry that the last entry was so angst heavy, I promise this one provides some comfort! Eddie needed to take a big step here and he really, really does. Also, much love to everyone who commented, I've tagged you at the bottom of the post - let me know if anyone else would like to be notified of the next entry!

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five

It was another five days before Steve heard from Eddie. Another five torturous days of radio silence, only this time, there wasn’t anything online. No new articles were popping up saying he’d been spotted somewhere, no new TikToks of him meeting fans on the street. The rest of the band was MIA too; Steve had thought about sending Jeff a text to check-in but ultimately decided to wait another couple days. Robin had been texting with Chrissy, after all, and if something bad had gone down, she would know.

When Eddie did finally call, it wasn’t from a number that Steve recognized.

“I’m getting a call from Malibu.”

“Holy shit!” Robin sat up on the other end of the couch and shot him a look. “Okay, just breathe dingus, okay? It’s going to be okay, I’ll be here the whole time.” She squeezed his ankle comfortingly. “You can do this.”

Steve accepted the call with shaky hands and brought his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hey Steve.”

He shut his eyes and swallowed, trying to stop his voice from cracking. “Eddie.”

He heard Eddie let out a watery laugh across the line. “Do you, uh, have a minute?”

“Mmmm hmmm,” Steve hummed. He physically couldn’t get an actual word out. 

This was it. Eddie was leaving, he’d cheated, it was over – 

“I’m in rehab.”

Steve’s eyes shot open. “You’re what?”

Robin started rocking back and forth. “Turn it up!” She hissed, and Steve obliged, turning up his volume so she could just barely hear what was being said. (Was this a private conversation? Yes. Did Eddie know he’d probably immediately tell Robin everything? Also yes. 

Was this news big enough to warrant having Robin eavesdrop?

Absolutely yes.)

“Yeah, I’m, uh, at the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu,” Eddie continued. “We got back about five days ago and when I saw your note, I – 

“Look, Steve,” Eddie continued, and his voice was choked up, like he himself couldn’t speak, “I fucked up. I’ve fucked everything up. You are – you said in that note that you didn’t want me to give up on my dreams, and you’re right, making it big and getting famous for my music was my dream for literal years. Because I kept thinking “once I get a record out there,” “once I go on tour,” “once I win a Grammy,” “once I get a million dollars,” then I’d finally be happy. 

“But it turns out the only thing being famous has done is make me pretty fucking miserable,” Eddie let out a harsh laugh. “But I was so goddamn convinced that this was it, you know, that I’d accomplished my dreams so I must be happy that I started taking whatever I could get my fucking hands on to make me feel that way. The thing is drugs and the alcohol and the parties never made it fucking last. It just made every other second that I was in the public eye that much worse.

“But I’d still made it, you know? I felt like I didn’t deserve to feel this fucking miserable. And everyone back home was so fucking proud and I didn’t want to let them down - ” Eddie paused for a few moments to clear his throat before continuing. “I didn’t want to let you down. Because Eddie “The Freak” Munson didn’t deserve you, but maybe Eddie “The Rock Star” could.”

Steve can feel his own throat closing up and he can barely see Robin’s face, his eyes are watering that bad. “Baby,” he sobbed. “I wish you’d told me.”

“Me too,” Eddie sniffled across the line. “I didn’t though, I just kept self-medicating and ignoring it, because that’s always worked,” he huffed sarcastically. “But then - ” Eddie cut off again, and Steve can hear that he’s trying so hard to hold back his own sobs, “then I came home last week and realized that I’d missed our goddamn anniversary because I was too fucking high and that you were gone and I just – I called Jeff and I told him to get me on a plane out here because you – you, Steve Harrington, you are the best thing in my goddamn life. And the only dream I want to chase now is the one where we get married and adopt some kids and grow old together.”

“Eddie,” Steve sobbed out again, and he heard Eddie start to cry too, and then suddenly they were crying together, even from hundreds of miles away.

“So I’m gonna be here for the next six weeks,” Eddie finally continued, his voice still full of tears. “I’m, uh, meeting with a therapist for a few hours every day and working through my shit. I wanna be a guy who deserves good things, baby. I wanna be a guy who deserves you.”

“What – what about the band?” Steve sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. A handful of Kleenex appeared in front of him. Robin must have gotten up to grab them at some point. He shot her a thankful nod and patted at his eyes; Robin nodded back and did the same, her face flushed that bright shade of red that accompanied her own tears.

“Murray wrote a provision into our contract where if one of us checks into rehab, then the band is instantly put on a two-year, non-negotiable hiatus.”

“But – what about your momentum, the label kept talking about it?”

“The label can go fuck themselves” Eddie practically growled over the phone. “Who do you think hosted the party where I first got my hands on the hardcore stuff anyways?”

“Babe - ”

“Murray said he was going to look into some sort of contract termination so we can sign somewhere else. And even if we didn’t have that thing written into our contract, we probably would have gone on hiatus anyways, or worse. That – the last leg was rough. Gareth was just as fucked up as I was and Jeff was fucking pissed. He kept having to pull Gareth out of orgies and shit while babysitting Phil and I too.”

“Did,” Steve swallowed harshly, “did - ”

“No, baby, never,” Eddie declared quickly. “Even when I couldn’t fucking see straight, you were the only one I wanted to be with. I honestly don’t even know who we were partying with at the end there, the label sent them for some PR shit, I don’t know. It’s just another reason why we want out.”

“Oh,” Steve murmured, “okay. Good. Or, well, not good. You know.”

“Yeah, baby, I do,” Eddie replied softly. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, just listening to each other breathe. “I, uh,” Eddie started up again quietly, “I’m wearing the ring.”

“Yeah?” Steve found himself smiling despite the fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Eddie’s voice was just as choked up as before. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Eddie - ”

“Look, I know, I know I hurt you so, so badly and I’m never going to fucking forgive myself for what I did, but I – you’re everything I want, baby. If I had to give up Corroded Coffin tomorrow for you, I would do it in a heartbeat. And I – I know I can’t expect for you to just, like, forgive me after the shit I pulled, but – will you be there, when I get out? Can I – I want to come home to you,” Eddie finished, and Steve could hear that he was crying again.

Steve looked over at Robin, who was wiping more tears out of her own eyes. They looked at each other for a few moments.

It might be crazy, but I think I want to say yes.

I don't blame you. I mean, this is one hell of an apology, especially from Mr. “I’ll Never Need to Go to Rehab Ever.”

Yeah. And I love him.

And you love him.

“I’ll be there,” Steve murmured reassuringly, and Eddie burst into a new wave of muffled sobs on the other end of the phone. “Just do what you need to do and come home when you’re ready, okay? I’ll be waiting for home.”

“At home?” Eddie’s voice broke on a whimper.

“At home. I’ll even clean the bathrooms and everything,” Steve joked, and Eddie let out a loud laugh despite the quiet sobs Steve could still hear. 

“Really? You’ll be there?”

“Yeah, Eddie. I’ll be there. We can get through this.”

“Together.”

“Together. Because I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”

“Fuck, Stevie,” Eddie let out an incredulous laugh again, “I love you so fucking much, baby. I’m going to marry the fuck out of you someday.”

“Save the sweet talk for when you get home, okay?” Steve could feel his heart settling in his chest, and whatever tears he’d had left to cry were all gone now. There was just the twinge of missing Eddie, but that would go away soon enough. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Eds.”

“Thanks, baby.” Eddie’s answer was soft now. “So I, uh, get a couple hours to call people every day from one of the site’s phones. Can I keep calling you?”

“Please,” Steve heard Eddie exhale in relief. “Every day sounds perfect.”

“Good, good. I’ll have to, uh, use some of my time to talk to Wayne, but the rest of it is yours, baby. And Gareth, Jeff threw him into a different center too. His check-in was much less voluntary though.”

“Shit,” Steve winced. “Is there anything Robin or I can do to help?”

“Take Jeff and Chrissy out to a nice dinner and use the Amex,” Eddie snorted, causing Steve to laugh.

“Consider it done.”

“Good." Steve heard the sound of another voice behind Eddie. Eddie replied something Steve couldn't understand, but it was in the affirmative. "Doc says my time is up for today. My, uh, talk with Wayne took up a lot of time,” Eddie returned, and his voice trembled as he spoke. “But I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll see you in six weeks.”

“Yes you will.” Steve shut his eyes and imagined Eddie was standing right in front of him. Eddie with his riotous curls and holey graphic tees and tight jeans. Eddie with his rings on his fingers, with Steve’s ring on his finger. Eddie, standing across from him and smiling at him with that twinkle in his eye that had first caught Steve’s attention all those years ago. 

“I love you, Eds.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’ll see you on the other side.”

Tags List: @gregre369 @starman-jpg @skoomy-doompy @thequeenrainacorn @sleepyboosstuff @strawberrykore @paintsplatteredandimperfect @amoris-no-smut-allowed @steve-the-hairrington @iknewyouweremuggle @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sunfloweringstories @loverkasp @hyperfixationgoddess @steddie-as-they-go @zerokrox-blog @messrs-weasley @thelittleclare @lovelyscot

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #robin buckley #platonic stobin #rock star Eddie munson #sweetheart steve harrington

[captainsteveamericarogers]

Why are you so quiet? Everyone has gone insane and making up new facts every five minutes, you're usually the first one to lose your patience and lay it down. You're obviously on Chris' side yet you're letting people talk shit about him. You need to say something!!

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted. You talk as if I'm some matriarch of the fandom when in fact I'm just a mediocre fanfic writer who is exhausted with this whole debacle and it's barely been two weeks. Nobody listens to me!

Today I saw a magnificent example of both Chinese whispers and alternative facts in this fandom. The person who alleged that CE was at her work for medical imaging, who I suspect was also the author of the now-deleted Reddit post, only tweeted that she had found out he was at her work. I appreciate that many people deleted the screenshots of the tweet as it was a gross invasion of his privacy and a HIPAA violation that, if true, would have very serious consequences for both the tweeter and her employer, and that a lot of people didn't see it. But suddenly people were talking about an actual x-ray or MRI image that had been posted and deleted. There was never an image. That didn't stop a few people from saying they knew someone who had seen it, which adds credence to the rumour despite being a lie due to there never being an image.

A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on - The Truth by Terry Pratchett

We are seeing this in action every single day since the People article. I've seen people make the most outlandish claims. Suddenly, everyone has a friend who knows his flight details or what he ate for dinner. It's utterly demented. It's beyond crazy.

Let's go through all of the utter horse shit I can recall from the past fortnight. Shall we have more bullet points?

It's all PR

They have a contract for two years (how could anyone possibly know this?)

Chris obviously cannot stand Alba anywhere near him

The girl in the park who was forced to delete her Twitter was in on it and planted there to record

Chris has been personally seeking out Tumblrinas to block on Twitter

Narrative PR wrote the deranged fan letters to make the fandom "look crazy" (lol) and garner sympathy for Chris

Literally anyone who sticks up for Chris or Alba is, in fact, Chris or Alba or their moms

Alba wore a halter to WDW to show off her tattoo and be recognised (Really? Who on earth is going to recognise her?)

She only flew into FL to record the video and then left immediately (y'all really don't like them spending time together, huh?)

They are reading every single post every single gossip blog writes and using the comments to make their fake PR relationship more convincing

There's more but this is so exhausting. If you take one thing from this post, let it be this. Take EVERYTHING with a pinch of salt, no matter who posts it and how sure they seem. Sometimes people are right and sometimes they are wrong. This fandom has a nasty habit of voicing their opinions as facts, then others take that and run with it, like today with the medical imaging business.

The fact is, nobody cares whether or not you believe it. But you are devoting hours of your life, every single day, dissecting everything and going around and around in circles and it is not healthy. It is not healthy at all. Take some time off or at least talk about something else.

Someone asked what I personally think is happening with Chris and Alba, so I'll leave you with my thoughts. It's serious. They are in love. I think they'll probably get married sooner rather than later. The laser focused comment was an FYI, telling the fandom that he's going to be taking his foot off the gas and concentrating on his private life for the foreseeable future. Take it with a pinch of salt. 🤷🏽‍♀️

#chris evans #alba baptista #anon ask #fandom ish #yes #we're still on it

[star-maiden]

Hey I was wondering what does seeing heart shape everywhere and all the time mean!!???

Hello There! It sounds like you may be experiencing a synchronicity in seeing hearts everywhere and all the time. This is going to be another long post. Before we get into some possible meanings, let’s chat for a bit about what a synchronicity is and isn’t. That way we can be sure to practice using our discernment when synchronicities are involved, and make informed and empowering choices. To be clear though, seeing symbols (repeating numbers, images like hearts, names etc) isn’t bad or dangourous. It is, however, always a good idea to look at many possible avenues before deciding what something means and then acting on it. Also for the record, I’ll be discussing synchronicities through the lense of tarot since that’s what I primarily work with and know well. Just something to keep in mind for anyone reading this.

⭐️ Google defines a synchronicity as “the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” This is a pretty good definition, but when people talk about seeing signs everywhere, they are often referring to the more recent and occult definition.

⭐️ In the world of the occult (which in some capacity encompass witchcraft, paganism, the New Age movement and alternative spirituality), synchronicities have taken on a significance beyond their original definition. Nowadays, we tend to see anecdotes of people noticing repeating symbols showing up, such as repeating numbers, letters, images like hearts, certain animals or even songs. Seeing these things over and over again is often interpreted as being a special sign from the universe or from spirit guides, or angels or any higher power that we hope to communicate with. As such, synchronicities can hold special meanging for the recipients. Very much like tarot, synchronicities have become a way to communicate with the unseen world of spirit and the subconscious.

⭐️ The word “synchronicity” actually hasn’t been around for that long. It was coined in the 1950’s by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe what he referred to as “meaningful coincidences”. I’ve linked some reading below if you’d like to learn some more about this. In a nutshell, Jung believed that a synchronicity was part of a deep and complex psychological process that could provide information on an individual’s subconscious and emotional experience. The idea that synchronicities were messages from Spirit guides, angels or deities was perhaps alluded to, but not explicitly part of Jung’s work.

⭐️ Today, we can use synchronicities as waymarkers of sorts. Think of them as the awake and conscious version of dream symbolism. Seeing something over and over again may trigger certain emotions or remind you of something important. The difficult thing about seeing repeating symbols everywhere is that no one else will be able to accurately interpret them for you. They are only meaningful because your mind has created emotional and/or sensory attatchments to them. For example, smelling vanilla might trigger someone’s memory of baking with grandma. This is an example of a sensory attachment that has meaning for an individual because the scent of vanilla is encoded into their memory by a particular experience.

🌟 What a synchronicity is:

A form of symbolism. Thinking through the lense of tarot, we can interpret synchronicities in a similar way. More on that in a bit. It’s important to keep in mind that all symbolism is subjective and individualistic. Because groups of people share culture and language, there is some general overlap (like a rose representing love), but the truest interpretation will always be a personal one.

An affirmation - Seeing synchronicities can affirm that we are in the right path or in the right place. They do this by helping us recall important experiences that remind us of certain qualities, goals or states that we want to achieve.

A message from Spirit, Angels or a Higher Power - This is the common belief. If your spiritual path includes some of these elements and you seek confirmation or messages through symbolism, then it’s possible that a synchronicity could be a message. This won’t be the case for everyone or all the time though. A message recieved through synchronicity or symbolism is also likely to be guidance or affirmation, rather than hard facts. We should always use our discernment when working with synchronicity in this way.

🌟 What a synchronicity isn’t:

A demand from Spirit, spirit guides or a higher power. You are never obligated do do anything when you notice synchronicities beginning to appear in your life. Instead, you can reflect on them. What might they mean in the moment that you notice them? What messages are they trying to convey.

A dire warning. Sometimes I see things floating around the internet about predicting death or serious illness, etc. These kinds of concerns are best addressed with a licensed medical professional. If you have a worry about something, seeing a synchronicity might prompt you to get it checked out with your doctor, but a synchronicty is not a diagnosis.

Universal. Synchronicities are unique and meaningful only to the recipient. While we can generalize and compare similar experiences to generate some possible interpretations, nothing will be truer than an individual’s own personal interpretation. Essentially, you know yourself best. No one else can tell you about your thoughts better than you. It is wise to use some caution here because it’s quite common for unscrupulous “psychics” to charge quite a bit of money to interpret synchronicities for other people. I’m not saying that all tarot readers and psychics who talk about synchronicities are scam artists, but there are definitely some who are. Be discerning in your selection if you go that route. Also be careful with symbolism dictionaries and interpretation guides. There’s nothing inherently wrong with them, but they may not be 100% accurate for you. If you are able to, it’s actually better (and cheaper) to create your own personal symbolism guide.

🌟 How to interpret synchronicities as symbolism.

Like tarot, symbols are a type of visual language. The most useful and meaningful interpretation is always going to be one that you create yourself. This isn’t a glamorous and magical answer, but it’s true. It also might take a bit of digging to uncover. Scott Cunningham’s book, Dreaming the Divine, outlines this process nicely for dream symbolims. I will briefly describe how to create your own personal symbolism dictionary here.

Think of what thoughts, emotions and/or physical sensations arise when you see a heart. Write this down. What words do you associate with “hearts”? Make a list and write those down too. Don’t worry if they don’t make sense. Write down everything that comes up.

Next, you’ll need to spend some time taking inventory of every time you see a heart. This doesn’t need to be fancy. You can even use the voice notes app on your phone. Every time you see a heart, make note of what you were doing and what you were thinking about in that moment. What emotions do you experience before and after noticing the heart. Write everything down.

Compare your notes from steps 1 and 2. Where do you see overlap? Make a venn diagram if this is is helpful. Otherwise, make a list. The places where both notes intersect is where you will find meaning.

🌟 Heart Symbolism

Sometimes we need a little boost to get started. I also recognize that you probably weren’t asking me to ramble on for a million years about synchronicities, and are hoping for some nice, solid info. (Sorry about that. I do have a tendency to go overboard in the explanation department.) Here are some of my personal interpretations of heart symbolism that I’ve put together after years of reading tarot. Please keep in mind that these might not work for everyone. Some are generalized and others are personal. You are welcome to use them if they resonate.

Hearts can represent: 💕

Love & Relationships

Something that you are passionate about

Something that is secret or guarded (close to the heart)

Someone’s innermost desires or feelings

A secret admirer

The core or foundation of something/the reason for something’s existence

Deeply felt or raw emotions

Connection and Empathy

Vulnerability or that someone is easily wounded by words. Sensitivity.

A wound. May be literal or metaphorical.

🌟 Sources & Links

Synchronicities: A Sure Sign You’re on the Right Path. An article from Psychology Today. Describes synchronicities as symbols of affirmation.

Synchronicity: Definition and Meaning. An article from Live Science. Goes into some of Carl Jung’s ideas and presents an opposing perspective.

Dreaming the Divine by Scott Cunningham - Not specifically about synchronicities, but addresses the subjectivity of symbolism and suggests that our own personal interpretations are more meaningful.

The Call of Intuition: How to Recognize & Honor Your Intuition, Instinct & Insight by Kris Franken - This book is about creating an empowering state of awareness for yourself and discusses how to follow the voice of your own intuition. A great starting point for anyone interested in developing stronger intuitive abilities.

#synchronicity #symbolism #witchblr #witch community #witchcraft #star responds #asks #witchy asks #carl jung #intuition

[sta-bright]

My First Tumble

Hi Tumblr,

I was inspired to get a Tumblr account, believe it or not, from Netflix's 2021 four-part docu-series "Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel." Although I highly doubt anyone cares enough to read any of my posts or has the attention span to read anything longer than a few sentences written by a 23 year old with her boobs out, *just in case,* SPOILER ALERT.

The (main) topic of the show focuses around Elisa Lam, who vanished in early 2013 when she was staying at the Cecil Hotel and was then found dead in one of the four water tanks on the roof 19 days after being reported missing (I think I have that correct but don't hold me to it, imaginary readers. It was something like that.).

Anyway, "...to make a long story short"... "too late" #cluereference, Elisa had a Tumblr blog. It seemed to be a good setup for how she was writing very personally, which is what I want to do, so here we go. I have a blog page for the business I own, but to be honest, it's geared more toward, well, business, so I don't feel like I can write freely, or only like the "good" or "normal" part of myself, the good stuff geared at an audience without scaring people away or whatever. So for this one, I don't really care as much about proper grammar or spelling, just somewhere to write my real thoughts if and when I can focus enough to sort them out enough to put them down. I have a bunch of journals, but they are all over the place and I can't write fast enough, so I'm going to try this out. I have a lot to say, and I think even just putting it out there even though I know no one cares might help me feel a little bit of relief, even if anyone does read it and might think I'm an idiot or whatever.

I wasn't sure what to name my blog, and I'm not sure if there's a way to change it in the future, but for now I have decided on "Sta-Bright." Most of my family and some of my close friends call me "Sta" and my partner David calls me Sta Bright, which I think is really cute and makes me happy, so here we are. I use the word partner because I think the word boyfriend is a little too young for us and our relationship warrants a higher level than that. ANYWAY, there is the background information for you, my new friend, Tumblr. I already feel better.

So, this show really pissed me off for a few (many) reasons. I've legitimately been pacing around all morning. First, even the title of the show is misleading. The death of Elisa Lam was not a "crime." It was a devastating incident of accidental death highly likely (as confidently confirmed by all professionals involved) related to a psychotic episode of her mental illness, Bipolar I, which I also happen to have. Netflix using the title "Crime Scene" to lure watchers in is disgusting within itself. Good for you, Netflix. Holla for the dollas! Make that money, baby.

Then, beyond the fact Netflix milked four episodes out of a glamorized case that was ruled an accidental death for this reason not even long after finding Elisa, it is the whole ordeal of the reality and dramatizing of this saga that is so sad.

Upon the release of the famous elevator footage the day she went missing, it went viral almost instantaneously.

*Hold please* I actually just read an article by BBC.com where director of the series, Joe Berlinger, says, "For the average viewer it's another compelling story you watch and then move on to the next. But for who this happened to, it's the worst moment in their life. It's a real tragedy for that person and that family." LOLOLOLOL OKAY JOE!!!! Is this why you spent FOUR EPISODES talking about bullshit theories to keep people hooked and open more discussion? You know that this is not out of respect. Shame on YOU!

"If you look at the other tellings of the story, you'd see she's the victim of some horrible, evil presence that took control of her.

"Those kinds of narratives, I think, are incredibly disrespectful and probably why the family just didn't want to deal with another show that was going to exaggerate the circumstances of the tragedy."

So is this why you made a show exaggerating the circumstances of the tragedy? Lol. "We need to talk about the ghost stories" Or do you need to talk about them to open a can of worms to more losers who fixate on the case? OR IS THAT JUST ME? I don't know. Lemme tell ya what. If anything ever happens to me, please make sure this Joe Schmuck doesn't make a pathetic docuseries about it.

Then, aside from the pathetic profit of Netflix, the actual details of what happened and how society and the "web sleuths" investigated, obsessed, and chimed in on this case is a whole other ballpark about society's minimization and lack of knowledge or respect for mental illness on its own.

THEN, there is a quote by Amy Price, the manager of the hotel during the incident, who is now profiting on a book she is writing about HER experience:

"I want to share my story," she says.

"But this isn't a horror story or anything like that. This is a story about struggle."

Okay, Amy. Whose fucking struggle are you writing about here? I legitimately don't know if she is referring to hers or Elisa's, but either way, it's gross.

It makes me so sad that this whole situation warranted MILLIONS of theories, millions of internet trolls writing articles about the "BIZARRE" death of this girl. This case is not fucking bizarre. It is unfortunate but it is not bizarre. This case was plastered all over internet lists with the titles "bizarre, unexplained cases of missing people." It's not unexplained, and it only was not for long.

These "web sleuths" were busy having a blast, going to the crime scene, smiling as they recorded, posting videos about their stupid theories. Trolls posting their dumb, far-fetched theories without knowing all of the facts, thinking they know better than the professionals, who DO have the findings, did do the labs, did do the investigations. And people still insist that THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

Of course, I don't know all the facts either. BUT, according to the actual professionals involved rather than the entire population of people who love a good "mystery," Elisa's toxicology results showed that her levels of the medications she was supposed to be on signified she had not been taking them as she should have been. They also found bottles of her medicine that had more pills than prescribed, also showing that she had not been taking them.

THEN, she was removed from the room she had been sharing with a few others due to "odd behavior" leaving weird post-its telling them to go away, or whatever. THEN, apparently going into the hotel lobby and screaming "I'm crazy!" or whatever it was.

Although all experiences with mental illnesses are unique, all of these details plus the footage, both detailing erratic behavior, leave no doubt in my mind that the professionals, SHOCKINGLY, CRAZILY, may be right! Who thunk it! I have legitimately acted in the ways described and shown in the video. I don't and couldn't understand HERS, but I understand MY paranoia, hallucinations, experiences I have had, and the actions that are presented, and I guarantee some would look very similar to that footage. Ask the few people who know me best what it's like when I'm not on my meds or fuck them up. I legitimately saw myself in her actions.

Yet, the internet losers had to fixate on a death metal artist who had stayed in the hotel for a few days A YEAR before any of this happened and legitimately ruined his life. His alibi was completely valid and he was dismissed by investigators. He was out of the country, he had tons of substantial paperwork and proof that he was, but that didn't matter.

Because no one takes bipolar disorder seriously, dismissing it as just mood swings, people being dramatic, seeking attention, being lazy, and everyone needs something more sensational, THIS wasn't even an option. They needed to fixate on crazy, fun conspiracy theories, watching the footage over and over and over again, sitting in their caves with their thumbs up their asses writing about their ballpark theories, internet bullying innocent people instead of doing any research on bipolar disorder, instead of defending or considering that it was a psychotic episode, which literally all of the official facts and footage present.

Clearly I'm not a professional either, but like... watch the show and you tell me. You tell me what you think is likely. You tell me what the professionals agree on. But before you make that call, try reading a little bit about bipolar disorder. Try reading about the psychotic episodes that can come with it. It probably won't change your mind, but oh well. It probably is just the hotel being haunted, ya know. Right? This is just my little rant that doesn't matter.

If you want to think it was a ghost, a demon, if it was a murder even though she literally had zero signs of any physical violence and there was zero evidence of it and all evidence the other way, you do that, boo. Have a blast. Hey, I 100% could be wrong, right? Absolutely. Who am I? Just a little dramatic, stupid, crazy nobody.

That's just my take, no better than any other internet trolls, I suppose. When all is said and done, in my little fantasy world, I guess people would just take bipolar disorder seriously and understand the severity of it. People would take it to consideration for the actions and words of those who have it. That's not fun, though. Everyone loves money, everyone loves a good story. Everyone loves making fun of people. Everyone loves a disability you can see. Everything I do is just me being an oddball. Everyone loves to be an internet bully.

I'm sorry for Elisa and her family who have had to deal with years of this. Years of people dismissing the severity of mental illness and obsessing over ghost stories, obsessing over the number of likes or views they get, money they make off of it.

Wow, that was a blast. I'm fairly confident no one will read this, but I feel a lot better that I put that out there. Again, I'm a little nobody, so nothing I say matters, but that's just my take on all of it. I've given up trying to convince anyone that I'm anything but weird, because I know no one will care or accept that. I'll just keep making people feel uncomfortable and keep looking like an idiot. Woe is me, am I right?

You have a blessed day now.

#mental health #mentalhealthmatters #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #fuck you netflix

[miseriathome]

This post is in response to a comment chain that got too cumbersome. If the other participant chooses to engage, that’s fine by me. If not, then this post can still exist as a record of me rolling with the new terms of the discourse and providing the requested argument.

That’s just it, ALL YOU’VE DONE IS POINT AT HISTORY. History is not a good enough reason, times change. The current generation of the LGBT community doesn’t consider kink culture to be an intrinsically connected to them an their communities. I didn’t first get to really explore my identity in a fetish community, I did it in high school. We want to celebrate our identities WITHOUT automatically being connected to kinks and stuff. Give me a reason that’s NOT based on history.

Okay, how about the fact that the thesis of the original post is this:

Let people have their leather gear and celebrate queer history and culture.

and it explicitly references “queer people over 30.”

When you say “current generation of the LGBT community” and “we,” does that include LGBT people who are very much alive today who also happened to live through the history I’ve referenced?

Who do you think is supposedly showing up to Pride in fetish gear? I think it’s likely that the kind of people who want to be at Pride in fetish gear are living queer people who do consider kink culture to be intrinsically connected to themselves, their identities, and their communities. Are actual, living today, in this modern era, real human queer adults enough of an ahistorical reason to tolerate--not even include, we’re strictly talking tolerance--their fashion? “People over 30 who grew up in a different social atmosphere can have a different internal understanding of their own queerness” is a pretty low bar. By a metric of “only right now matters,” the actual living human being who show up to Pride should matter and be tolerated, otherwise you have a massive solidarity problem.

The reason I’ve been focused on history is that the OP is about history and the historical connection. I took your “I don’t understand” to mean that you were operating under the same framework of “history is relevant and important for understanding modernity.” If you want to have a different debate (not education, but debate) then it’s apt to move it away from the OP. And like I said, I could talk about queerness for ages.

The mainstream train of thought

[objects and outfits] are sex >> sex is private >> private belongs in the home and out of the eyes of the public

that I kept contextualizing within history isn’t actually confined to history, though. This is exactly the train of thought behind the modern criminalization/punishment of sex work, trans bathroom usage, homelessness, breastfeeding, naturalized citizenship for queer immigrants, queer PDA, bra straps on teenage girls, medical transition, etc. Modern normative society doesn’t care that you personally are not a kinkster; to them, queer people are all inherently disgusting and shouldn’t exist in public. It’s the most marginalized people of all who have railed and continue to rail against this, even right now in the modern day, in current times, in the world you are experiencing right this second.

Gay hiring discrimination wasn't even made federally illegal in the US until a matter of weeks ago. Whether you personally like it or not, degeneracy is the legacy of queerness. Saying history is irrelevant doesn't change that it's still here and it's still the very backbone of why it's important to stay engaged right now. I’m not saying people who show up to Pride today are intentionally protesting bathhouse raids of the 60′s, I’m saying that the issues they are protesting today stem from the issues of yesterday.

I kept stressing “individual disgust” because it ultimately doesn’t matter what your personal feelings are about the existence of leather gear at Pride. If you choose to opt out of the fundamental truth that Pride is a demonstration against historically-rooted queerphobia, that’s your prerogative. The OP literally says “you don’t have to be kinky to acknowledge and respect that [...] leather kink culture is inseparable from queer history.”

If you do acknowledge that leather kink culture is inseparable from queer history, then that’s all the post was asking of you. If you don’t understand, then history should be what’s being discussed, which is why I kept going back to it. And if you consider history to be irrelevant either way to the discussion you want to be having, then it really is a different discussion. And like I said, I can roll with that, but then it’s no longer actually related to the original thesis of the OP and therefore they should be let off the hook for having to host it.

Essentially:

these people exist today

these opinions exist today

these issues exist today

normative society is going to connect you to kink even if you’re not kinky and that’s not the fault of kinky people

you can’t actually stop others from making their lived histories relevant in how they dress at Pride today

are all points which are about the now times. “Times change,” on the other hand? Ahistorical in the sense that history does not demonstrate it except in very superficial ways.

And that’s not even getting into all the other details like the artificial construction of the public/private boundary along lines of institutional power, the disparate construction of decency/degeneracy between pericishetero sexuality and queer sexuality, or the smear campaigns against Pride events and kinkster participants intentionally manufactured to cause intracommunity schisms and depower queer advancement.

Like I said, you’re welcome to make your arguments on any of my posts about the history of Pride, kink, and queerness: kink discourse | pride discourse | respectability politics | that one wikipedia article on leather subculture

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pride discourse #kink discourse #queer history

[chronicillschronicpills]

so hey, i just found ur blog and tbh im really looking for any advice i can get on dealing with chronic pain and fatigue? i dont mean to be a bother sorry! im just slipping into hopelessness with some people and even doctors not taking me seriously. i have done hours and hours of research and i think my symptoms may line up with sjogren's? it's just so hard for someone to look at my symptoms (even though they have been worsening since october 2019) since absolutely nothing shows up in my tests.

Hey!

This is not a bother at all. Also sorry if this is a late reply, my Tumblr never notifies me when I get messages so I have to manually check! 

So to start off with, I know exactly how you feel. I have been there. It is truly horrible and I am sorry you have to deal with this. There is a massive problem with doctors not taking young people, especially women, seriously when it comes to pain and fatigue. It’s always ‘stress’ or ‘depression’ or ‘in your head’ and it’s just really infuriating. It’s a terrible place to be in. 

I think this is a really important post. Its going to be LONG. 

I’m going to first address the issues with doctors not taking you seriously. 

It took me 7 years to get a diagnosis. This is NOT unusual. In fact, I’m almost positive that the average diagnosis time period for someone with lupus is 6 years. My first piece of advice is SELF ADVOCATE. This sounds easier than it is and it takes a lot of practice. I used to just burst into tears if I was trying to explain anything to a doctor. It is easier to self-advocate when you are calm and are clear about what you are going to say. To help with that, I suggest KEEPING A JOURNAL of your symptoms and have all your medical records in order. Make it in depth. Before an appointment, WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT. This way, you won’t forget anything. I like to reverse in my head how it is going to go. You really have to TAKE CONTROL of the appointment. You are allowed to demand certain things. I had to demand a referral to a rheumatologist when one of my shit GP’s refused to. He ended up giving me one, and on my first appointment with the rheumatologist, I was diagnosed and put on medication. It is important to DO RESEARCH but not too much. Don’t let the doctors know that you’ve done too much or they will think you’re a hypochondriac or something, maybe hurt their ego, who knows. You need to have a GOOD GP. If you don’t like your current GP, find a new one. Do research on good GP’s in your area. Ask your friends and family about theirs. Also, the best indicator for a doctor to know where you are at in my experience is saying MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS POOR. Describing your symptoms in-depth and how they affect your day to day functioning is important. Lastly, I always think you should BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU. Bring someone you trust, someone who knows about your condition. This is useful because they can back up what you say, they are there for support, and a doctor is less likely to treat you like shit with someone else present. You should also brief the person who is coming with you about what you would like them to do in the appointment. Do you want them to just stay quiet, or would you like them to sometimes talk or want them to take control of the appointment? 

My advice for chronic pain

Pain killers (it make seem obvious, but they really help). This is a touchy subject for a lot of people, as there are obvious problems with long term pain killer use, but they are great for PRN. There is a possibility a doctor will not prescribe you with them though. 

NSAID’s (Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) can be helpful for pain

Tricyclic antidepressants are used to treat chronic pain

Topical treatments; I use tiger balm patches. These are the ones I use: https://www.amazon.com/Tiger-Balm-Plaster-Warm-Patches/dp/B07Q6WN9ZM. They help tremendously for me. I sometimes used tiger balm cream. Other good ones are Icy Hot vanishing gel and bengay. 

Pillows: I used 12 pillows to sleep with. I know it a lot. But it works really well for me. Experiment with pillows; between your knees, under your arm, behind your back, under your hip, under your legs, etc. I literally sleep on a bed of pillows. 

Reduce stress. High stress= more pain

Join support groups; I am on several FaceBook pages that talk about the issues that I have. This blog on Tumblr has been incredibly helpful. It’s good to have people who understand what you’re going through. 

I cannot exercise, but some people find it useful (i never did) 

Some people find meditation helpful (i do not)

Massages help but obviously, that’s not always accessible, they are expensive etc. 

My advice for chronic fatigue

Medications; depending on your diagnosis, some medications can help with chronic fatigue. The medicine that helps with my chronic fatigue is Plaquenil which is often used to treat fatigue-related with Sjogren’s. There are other medications that can help with the quality of sleep such as benzodiazepines and tricyclic antidepressants. 

Do not do too much activity (that has helped me, but for others moving and doing exercise and movement can help) 

Have a routine 

If you study, make sure you tell all your teachers and lecturers beforehand that you have a health issue that may impair your ability to come to class all the time or hand in assignments on time. In my experience, they have always been really helpful and understanding. 

I also studied a lot from home, using online resources. I also took fewer papers at university to make it more manageable for me.  

Look after yourself, make sure you eat good foods. A lot of people try different diets but they haven’t helped me personally but have been beneficial to a lot of other people. Definitely talk to your doctor about this though. 

Give yourself a break, do not be too hard on yourself if you cant do the things that others are doing 

Some doctors consider stimulant medication but I have not tried this

Lastly! Sjogren’s!

I know a bit about Sjogren’s because it’s related to the disease that I have. It is an autoimmune disorder. If you think you have Sjogren’s then you need to ask your GP to do blood tests associated with Sjogren’s such as rheumatoid factor, ANA, antibodies (anti-Ro (SS-A) and anti-La (SS-B) antibodies). Ask for a referral to a rheumatologist. SELF ADVOCATE. Do not stop until you find your answer. Also, get routine bloods. It is common for them to change over time. I

If any of my followers have Sjorgens and have any advice, please comment!

I hope this helped, I wish I could come up with more advice on how to deal with chronic pain and fatigue, but I know it is really hard. If any of my followers made it this far and have any tips, please add to this post and reblog it so that more people can see and add to it.

EDIT TO ORIGINAL POST

This information was supplied by a tumblr user called @graciecatfamilyband who actually has Sjorgens. They said:

 Blood work and other tests CANNOT rule Sjogren’s OUT. This makes it very difficult to diagnose 

30% of Sjogren’s patients will have negative blood work.Other tests may also not be sufficient, depending on where you are in your disease progress

Doctors are often undereducated about Sjogren’s and don’t see it as as serious as it is

Many patients will have neuro symptoms as well as other significant symptoms like fatigue before their lip biopsy focal score is 1 (which is considered “positive” for Sjogren’s).

https://www.sjogrensadvocate.com/ is a great resource for people who think they might have this disease. It also cites research articles you can show your doctor if you need to

They also offered to help out anyone who want to reach out to them if they have questions or need advice about Sjorgens and also, with diagnosis’s.

Keep in touch, let me know how it goes. Don’t be afraid to reach out and dm me.

Love Aston 

#ask #personal #asks #lupus #sjogrens

[zkenvs3000]

8 Arms, 9 Brains: Lean, Mean, Problem Solving Machines

Many people take their critical thinking and problem-solving abilities for granted. Imagine, for a second, where you would be if your parents or teachers hadn’t sat you down when you were young and explained in a human language what a shape was or why they fit into certain specially shaped holes. I have a feeling we’d all be very confused about everything going on around us. Without the ability to communicate complex thoughts and intricate processes with each other, most people would go on living without ever having reached a fraction of their full potential. However, there are several animals that have overcome this inter-species problem and have exhibited an extraordinary ability to think critically and solve problems without the help of English or any other language for that matter. Octopuses are probably one of the top animals on that list.

Octopuses have extraordinary critical thinking abilities and can solve problems with intuition similar to that of a young child. These invertebrates can squeeze themselves through any gap that is larger than their cartilaginous beaks. They can sense several different things using their tentacles including taste and touch. Each tentacle basically contains a brain of its own and can act independently, while the central brain maintains bodily functions and can exert top-down control when it's needed (Hendry, 2021). They can create complicated colours, patterns, and physical projections with their skin in order to blend in with their environment. They sometimes use shells and other debris from their environment to make complex shelters to hide from predators. They have distinct personalities and have even been known to hold grudges against people they don't like. They can be incredibly gentle and curious and at the same time, they can be vengeful and mischievous. They’ve even been observed using the venomous tentacles of the Portuguese man o’ war as weapons to immobilize their prey. They’re bags of jelly that have unlimited potential. The mimic octopus is a great example of a creature that employs all of these tactical skills:

These creatures are incredibly shy and clever so it’s often quite difficult to observe them in the wild doing all of the crazy things that they’re capable of. The picture below shows an octopus hiding inside of a broken glass bottle at the bottom of the seafloor. However, they’ve been observed doing all kinds of crazy things in aquariums around the world. There is a famous story from the Brighton Aquarium in England of lumpfish mysteriously disappearing from their tank overnight. Scientists were incredibly confused because there seemed to be no evidence of the tanks being tampered with. One night, they observed the octopus that lived in the tank next door climbing out of his own tank, opening the lid of the neighbouring tank that contained the lumpfish, capturing one of them, and then carrying it back into its own tank to snack on without leaving a trace. Scientists believe that the clever, eight-armed menace observed aquarium staff opening the tanks and learned how to do so himself (Borrell 2009).

Richard Whitcombe/Shutterstock.com

Dr. Jennifer Mather, a comparative psychologist at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, said in an interview with Scientific American that an animal’s intelligence might be measured by its ability to learn new information and then apply it. She discussed an experiment at the Seattle Aquarium that involved putting octopuses in an empty aquarium with just a simple pill bottle to observe their reaction in a “boring” situation. What would the octopus do when there’s nothing to do? The octopuses figured out that if they used a jet of water to blow the pill bottle over to one of the tank’s water jets, it would shoot back and then return to the octopus. These two octopuses then did this around 20 times. They were basically playing catch! That isn’t even the most amazing thing they’ve done with pill bottles. You know the child-proof lids that they often put on medication that even some adults struggle to open sometimes? An octopus figured out how to open one on its own. It only took 55 minutes, and with some practice, it managed to open it in 5. It took only an hour for this animal to figure out how to complete a task that was literally designed to be impossible for young humans (Layton, 2015). So not only do they play when they get bored, they can also problem-solve better than some human beings. Here’s a video of an octopus learning how to open a puzzle box with a crab in it by observing another octopus. Unfortunately, it was recorded with a potato. Enjoy.

With all of this being said, I wonder what kinds of things they’d have to say if they could communicate with us. Would they have opinions on sociopolitical issues? Can they figure out where this all came from by understanding physics and the nature of the universe better than we can? Could they teach us what it is to be alive or the meaning of life? Could they start a Fortune 500 company? As of right now we have no way of knowing the answers to these questions because we can’t talk to animals. I hope that sometime in the future we can befriend some sort of physicist octopus that can unlock the secrets to intergalactic travel or even the origins of the universe. Who knows, maybe they’ll figure out how to talk to us before we figure out how to talk to them!

Thanks for reading my post! Have a video of an octopus thanking the guy who saved it.

- Zaid

Borrell, B. (2009). Are octopuses smart?. Retrieved 1 April 2021, from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/are-octopuses-smart/

Hendry, L. (2021). Octopuses keep surprising us - here are eight examples how. nhm.ac.uk. Retrieved 1 April 2021, from https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/octopuses-keep-surprising-us-here-are-eight-examples-how.html.

Layton, J. (2015) Can’t Open That Childproof Bottle? Ask an Amazing Octopus. Retrieved 1 April 2021, from https://animals.howstuffworks.com/marine-life/cant-open-that-childproof-bottle-ask-an-amazing-octopus.htm

#Youtube

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

well, if my first ADHD-related appointment with a therapist was kind of validating in confirming that I have this thing I think I have and yes it’s a problem, today’s appointment with a nurse practitioner who can actually prescribe stuff was...kind of invalidating? not even materially so, I mean she said I meet the criteria for ADHD and she wrote me a prescription for Adderall with instructions to start at a very low dose and gradually increase to see what happens, and she scheduled another appointment with me in a few weeks to check back, and it basically all seemed fine at the time, but--

well, she also said it didn’t sound like a severe case, and that at least some of what I was describing was just kind of what modern life is like for everybody, and when I said I figured my ADHD is at the root of a lot of my anxiety and depression she was pretty quick to tell me that’s not how it works until I explained the--in hindsight pretty fucking obvious--connection that a lot of my depression stems from feeling like a failure in ways that are probably caused by ADHD, and a lot of my anxiety stems from how I’m constantly forgetting things and sometimes I can’t hold onto a thought long enough to write it down and I get overwhelmed easily because I can’t prioritize, etc. etc. etc.

and like, again, I don’t think it really...matters? she’s not the one I’ll really be talking with, for the most part, and they’re in the same office so if my actual therapist is picking up on things that the nurse practitioner isn’t, they can, should, and probably will discuss my case between themselves. all I really need from the woman I saw today is the willingness to write prescriptions and work with me to find the right dose/medication and I have that, I literally have an Adderall prescription now and she perfectly willing to do medication management with me. so that’s all good. 

but basically as soon as I left the building, my brain started chewing on it and wouldn’t let go, because shit, I didn’t really emphasize my procrastination and perfectionism enough, did I? especially with examples from college and grad school? I mean I talked about it but did I talk enough about how my brain just kind of divides things into “now” and “not now” and if something either can’t be done now or isn’t due now, I can’t feel the urgency needed to make me actually do it? or the self-loathing spiral I get into every time I fuck up? or how I do fuck up, all the time, except now I can’t think of concrete examples? I said I had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and I never feel rested but did I say that it’s at least sometimes because my brain won’t shut off? or how something relatively minor but negative will happen and my brain sinks its teeth in and won’t let go? or how slow I am at work? did I emphasize enough how much I need to externalize my brain or I completely forget things, I mean I know I talked about it but apparently it sounded somewhat normal? I should’ve told her how often I get hit with interest charges and late fees on my credit cards because I can’t remember to pay them, or...how I got this character in a game and I had two entire months to level her up but doing so involved active playing so I kept putting it off and when time was running out I really sincerely meant to do it and then I just kept forgetting, and obviously that wasn’t a genuinely important thing but maybe it still would’ve been a good illustration? or how my room is a disaster and part of that is because of the earthquake way back in Nov. 2018? or how I keep buying posters and prints but never putting them on my walls, and starting projects I never finish even when they’re relatively quick and easy? (wait, I did talk about that though, didn’t I?) or how I have to write everything down in my planner but there are times when I still somehow forget to look at it, or how I write tons of to-do lists but never cross off most of the things on them and after a little while I forget the to-do list exists in the first place unless it’s constantly in front of my face? or how sometimes extremely basic shit just straight-up doesn’t occur to me until it’s too late? or how I think I don’t regulate my emotions very well? or how miserable it makes me that I feel like I never finish anything or accomplish even very basic goals? or how I am almost never on time, ever, in part because my sense of time is just kind of terrible? or my executive dysfunction, fuck, that’s definitely a thing and I never used those words either, I mean I talked about how I can’t get myself to fucking start things but maybe if I’d used the term...? and fuck, maybe she’s right and my brain is actually not that fucked up, it’s actually way closer to normal than I’ve been thinking, which I guess just means I’m a lazy piece of shit who can’t accomplish anything...but she said I meet the criteria for ADHD, and I keep reading all these articles and posts about it and going “oh shit that explains so much about my brain,” and obviously I’ve had like two decades to figure out some coping strategies so my various dysfunctions don’t completely ruin my life all the time, and sure I haven’t been fired because of things I can confidently blame on ADHD but that doesn’t mean it isn’t negatively affecting my life, and it’s not like she actually said “nah you’re making this up, fuck off” or anything, she said I meet the criteria and she wrote me a fucking prescription for Adderall, but if she thinks it’s a relatively minor case and a lot of the things I struggle with sound normal to her, then maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing and I need to just suck it up and be better somehow, and maybe medication isn’t even going to help because there’s nothing that wrong in the first place except for me being a fuckup—

and around and around it goes. it’s...I mean, again, it’s probably not really a huge deal. I have another appointment with her for medication management, and I have the prescription, and I have more appointments with the therapist who did seem to take it more seriously. and this one did say I meet the criteria. but honestly the way my brain has been chewing on this for the last few hours is...well, probably indicative of something.

oh, you know what else was funny actually, she also informed me that if I was prescribed Adderall in grad school then I had to have been formally diagnosed, because otherwise it absolutely couldn’t have been prescribed to me. and I guess when the original dose didn’t seem to do much for me I just...stopped taking it and didn’t go back for more, and we didn’t really revisit the issue, and the records probably didn’t get transferred to my next counselor because I guess it never occurred to anybody to ask, and she eventually thought maybe I’m on the autism spectrum because I said I don’t like eye contact but ADHD didn’t occur to her either, and I just. fucking forgot? that I was formally diagnosed with ADHD probably an entire decade ago? so over the past 2-3 years as I’ve become increasingly convinced that ADHD hellbrain causes a lot of my problems, I was coming to it as brand new information because I literally fucking forgot that I had already been diagnosed? like...fuck, man, I’m no expert but that seems like kind of a weird memory thing too! which she definitely knew about because I was surprised when she told me I had to have been diagnosed! so I mean! if we’re talking about a disorder that involves memory issues, forgetting about an entire diagnosis because it wasn’t right in front of my face seems like pretty fucking good evidence that I have memory issues!

#adhd #brains behaving badly

[decaffeinatedcoffeekitten-blog1]

Work in Progress

(I’m sorry if I don't catch all of the times that Timpa was autocorrected to Tampa)

I was inspired to write this after seeing posts on reddit saying that no one cared about Tony Timpa because he was white, and seeing how on the wikipedia page for Police brutality in the United States, Tony Timpa’s name was shoehorned in a paragraph about May 2020. 

Timpa was a victim of police brutality, he deserves to be treated with respect instead of having his murder used as justification for pushing a racist agenda.

I’m copying and pasting the paragraph: In May 2020, the issue of police brutality saw a surge in public response following the police killing of George Floyd. Protests occurred nationwide and internationally beginning in Minneapolis, Minnesota on May 26, 2020. In 2016, Tony Timpa was killed in the same way in Dallas.[26]

That is the laziest thing I have ever seen, it doesn't even flow. It doesn't mention it happened in August 2016, It happened chronologically before George Floyd was killed so why is it after talking about Floyd. Further more it says that Timpa was killed in the same way, I don't remember reading news articles that said the police were on Timpa’s neck for 14minutes, I only remember reading how police were holding him face down with a knee on his back. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/02/dallas-police-officers-video-bodycam-tony-timpa

Heres a link to a picture of Timpa that the Timpa’s family lawyer says that Floyd probably has similar (but not exact) marks on his body.: https://twitter.com/geoff_henley/status/1268182203919405056?s=20

I highlighted a better location where it would made sense to insert information about Timpa’s murder in the same wikipedia page. It seems like someone just wanted to use Timpa’s murder for not a good reason, but if they did any effort whatsoever they could have also mentioned that mentally ill people are likely to be victims of police violence but they didn't mention how Timpa called the police for help and told the operator that he had schizophrenia and didn't take his medication.

If someone claims that no one cared about Tony Timpa I think they are being disingenuous, ignorant and appears to be trying to further a racist agenda. Just look at how many people cared here: https://twitter.com/ESOP_STL/status/1156586732302798850?s=20

In 2019, I was at the dentist getting cavities filled when I watched Vicki Timpa on the news. She was talking about finally getting the bodycam footage released after 3 years of fighting in court to get justice for her son. Timpa was a real person who deserves justice, not to be used as an example to shut the people up who talking about police brutality. https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2019/08/02/tony-timpa-mother-reacts-dallas-police-video-son-death/ 

Before writing this I only knew about happened was that Timpa called the police for help and that he was murdered by in a horrific way. 

I’m not sure why I’m adding this since some people keep claiming that no cared (or cares) about Timpa because he was white but Timpa’s birthday was June 5, 1984, his murder occured on August 10, 2016, and his middle name was Alan. He grew up in Rockwall. He loved model trains as a boy and became a popular football player in high school. https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/dallas-police-officers-under-investigation-following-death-of-unarmed-man/40744/

Three officers from the Dallas Police Department were involved when Timpa was killed in August 2016. https://www.boston.com/news/national-news/2019/08/01/police-laughed-and-joked-as-he-lost-consciousness-in-handcuffs-minutes-later-he-died 

When people bring up Timpa to complain that people didn’t care because he was white, I haven’t seen a lot of them also mention that Timpa had schizophrenia. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vb54bx/this-video-shows-a-mentally-ill-man-who-called-the-police-for-help-now-hes-dead

So why are they just bringing up the white “angle” instead of pointing out that mentally ill people are common victims of police violence?

Did you know his mother’s name is Vicki Timpa? Did she not care? So, whenever someone says that no one cared because he was white, you are intentionally ignoring his mother crying in press conferences, you’re ignoring how she suffered through a lawsuit (honestly, I’m not sure if it should be considered as multiple lawsuits but that doesn’t detract from my point) and had to fight for 3 years until the footage was released.

https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/13515242/timpa-v-the-city-of-dallas/ This link to the court history shows a fraction of how much Vicki Timpa cared about her son. 

What I'm saying to the people who claim that no one cared about Tampa because he was white: You might be going “yeah, why does that matter, it was just his mother, she’s supposed to care, but I was just referring to the people protesting with and involved with Black Lives Matter”.

My reply is that saying “no one cared” is literally incorrect and ignores everyone who spent YEARS fighting to get the bodycam footage released. The whole reason why we have the horrific footage of Timpa being killed is because someone CARED.

Do you want to know what Vicki Tampa said YEARS before the video was released:

"Why can't they take their badge? Why can't they turn in their badge? Why can't they call me? Why can't they make me whole? Why?" she asked, as tears streamed down her face. "I will keep going until I get those answers." source: https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/dallas-police-officers-under-investigation-following-death-of-unarmed-man/40744/

I want everyone to respect Timpa’s family privacy but other evidence of someone “caring” is how on a complaint filed in District Court on November 3, 2016, Vicki Timpa is listed as a “next friend of K.T., a minor child”, so it sounds like Timpa had more than one family member who “cared”. So, that’s at least two people who “cared”. Please don’t be rude and dismiss Timpa’s family by saying that no one cared. source: https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/13515242/1/timpa-v-the-city-of-dallas/ 

Have you ever heard of Cary Aspinwell? She is a reporter who has been publishing about Timpa since at least 2017, I think she might care about Timpa since she acknowledged Timpa’s birthday yesterday on June 5.

The Dallas Morning News, Inc. “cared” enough to “respectfully request that the Court” … to “direct the clerk to file TDMN’s amicus brief at that time.” 

Amicus curiae means “friend of the court”, so that means that a major newspaper cared enough about what happened to Tony Timpa to want to file a brief with the court, as a 3rd party. So, anyone who says that no cared seems to be saying that newspapers just pay lawyers for fun. https://twitter.com/caryaspinwall/status/1156543499958935558?s=20

I think it’s safe to assume that Geoff Henley cares too. Henley is the attorney who represented the Timpa family, I think its very possible that Henley can take a job that is more profitable. I admit this is a very low bar but Henley might care about what happened to Timpa since he still tweets about Timpa. https://twitter.com/geoff_henley?lang=en

It was kind of sad how on June 5, 2020 I saw people using Timpa’s name to say that no one cared when police killed a white person, but  from the people who posted things like that, I didn’t see any birthday tributes talking about wanting justice for Timpa at the same time. To be clear I’m not claiming that there wasn’t any or that no one cared about Timpa’s life.

Other evidence that people cared about what happened to Timpa was that Dallas officers claim that they got death threats after the video was released. https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/dallas-police-officers-receive-death-threats-after-viral-video-of-in-custody-death/287-8067c53c-f9e2-46cb-a531-ee1466770512

I’m tired of seeing people use Tony Timpa’s name to further their agenda to try to further divide people, which I honestly don’t really understand why when Timpa’s murder should be used as a reason why no one is safe against police brutality, so everyone should be against police brutality.

Timpa’s murder by the Dallas Police Department shouldn’t be used to distract people into being against Black Lives Matter, it should be used to say that we can’t forget about any victim of police brutality. Timpa’s murder is as an example of when police departments get away with murder with minimal or no consequences.

What happened: Timpa was the one who called the police the night he was held down for 14 minutes and died. I want to mention that he was handcuffed while being held down.

The three officers from the Dallas Police Department involved are Keven Mansell, Danny Vasquez and Dustin Dillard. They were indicted in 2017 on charges of misdemeanor deadly conduct, but the Dallas County District Attorney John Creuzot dismissed the charges in March 2019.

I don’t understand how the police managed to kill Timpa when he was already handcuffed by private security guards before they arrived on the scene. It sounds like this should have been an easy night but someone still died.

Mike Mata, the president of the Dallas Police Association, said the officers are not to blame.

In my mind, it makes logical sense that if you have bad performance on your job then it makes sense to get fired, they weren’t fired, in fact Dallas spent $11 million in ONLY five years to settle more than 20 lawsuits against police. https://www.insurancejournal.com/news/southcentral/2017/08/16/461283.htm

If someone believes in government fiscal responsibility, then they should be against protecting police officers who make cities waste so much money because of unneeded violence.

My impression is that the Dallas Police Department only wanted to protect officers from consequences.:

“On the eight-minute recording, the head of the disciplinary hearing says that if the officers learned something from the incident they'll probably be able to continue as city police. They then received written reprimands.

"I personally believe you guys are better than that," the commander said. "But I still need you on the force. So if you learned something from it, most likely we can move forward from here."”

Source: https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/dallas-officers-jokes-during-deadly-arrest-were-strategy-1.4535309 

I have a question for everyone who brings up Timpa to point out some so-called “hypocrisy”: Have you ever heard of Eric Garner, Kelvion Walker, Genevive Dawes, Deborah Danner, Tony McDade, Atatiana Jefferson, Willie McCoy, Sandra Bland, Bartholomew Williams, Spencer Mims III, Christian Chavez (killed in 2012 at age 18), and so many other people.

A small-time newspaper named The New York Times wrote about Timpa. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/01/us/tony-timpa-dallas-police-body-cam.html

When someone says that no one cared about Timpa because he was white, are they saying that Vicki Timpa didn’t care?

I’ve seen people who are using Timpa’s name in their bad faith nonsensical statements that no one cared that he died because he was white. How is it possible that statement is relevant? We should this time to shine a bright light on every victim of police brutality, not use another victim to try to shut down people who are trying to advocate against police brutality.

On the website of Black Lives Matter, it says their “mission is to eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes.” Also, on their website it says that: “We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.” 

If someone feels uncomfortable with the statement that “white supremacy should not exist” then they should examine why they feel so insecure. Timpa shouldn’t be used as an example of why someone should be critical of today’s protestors who were galvanized by the murder of George Floyd.

In my impression, people have brought up Timpa’s murder to say that the Black community is full of hypocrites because they didn’t protest police brutality after three officers from the Dallas Police Department murdered Timpa. 

If anyone feels that way then they should protest for Tony Timpa right now instead of complaining about people who want to make sure what happened to Timpa doesn't happen to anyone else.

Also, I think it's relevant to point out that a lot of people are unemployed right now so they have more time to protest and organize themselves.

And if someone is complaining about why did they not protest after Timpa died, are you criticizing Vicki Timpa? (I honestly don't know if she organized protests), 

Or are they trying to say that Vicki Timpa didn’t do enough to get justice for her son after she got the body cam footage released after 3 YEARS of trying?

Vicki Timpa still cares, and she's doing more for his memory then people using the murder of her son as an excuse for racism. https://starlocalmedia.com/rowlettlakeshoretimes/news/tri-east-naacp-launches-movement-to-get-controversial-restraint-method-removed/article_c424b738-a478-11ea-93f6-3bea447001ae.html 

#blm #tony timpa #police brutality #icantbreathe #black lives matter #dallas #mentally ill #this is america

[magpiedminx]

From above :    PSA on Britney Spears and the #FreeBritney movement for anyone that needs or wants more information on what is going on with her. It’s a fucking rabbit hole, so buckle up. A little backstory first. Britney was a child star starting at the age of 4 years old on Broadway, and then worked her way to the Mickey Mouse Club, and eventually the solo career we know today. Her career has been on autopilot her entire life. If you look back at her music, she’s been telling everyone for years she’s too controlled and treated as a product if you listen to the lyrics of most of her hits. Examples include: Lucky, Overprotected, My Perogative, Circus, Piece of Me and Gimme More. Her music videos, social media posts, tour props and photoshoots regularly show her in a cage or in chains. If anyone has ever seen videos of her when she was younger, you’d know her REAL singing voice is very similar to Christina Aguilera’s. Her record label didn’t like it, as they were both on the Mickey Mouse Club and about to release their debut albums at the same time. So they had her voice retrained to sing in the baby voice we all know today because they believed it to be more iconic and would create a brand and career for her instead of her real voice. It’s unhealthy, and it’s been destroying her voice over the years, thus why she is known for lip syncing. She wanted to make an acoustic type pop album in 2006 titled Original Doll and reinvent herself using her real voice. The album was shelved and cancelled once her label realized she would be singing in her real voice. She isn’t allowed to sing live because she will either fail terribly, or she’ll have to sing in her deep voice that she isn’t known for. Her entire career she has been treated like a product meant to sell. Now, for the real tea. Everyone remembers the 2007 meltdown. Everyone. Leading up the meltdown Britney was going thru a public divorce, had two children under the age of 2 at the time and was VERY much the focus of the public. We all saw her on every magazine cover. We all also saw the photo of her with one of her kids on her lap while driving. Go on YouTube once and look up ‘Britney Spears paparazzi’. You’ll watch her be chased and followed by hundreds of them, even trying to get into a public restroom to photograph her, videotaping her in tears asking them to leave her alone, and even filming her thru the windows of an ambulance while she was naked being taken away for her final mental health hold. After the public meltdown, shaving her head, locking herself in her home with her children, speaking in a british accent on regular basis, wearing the imfamous pink wig everywhere, and shopping naked, she was hospitalized twice. After the hospitalization, her father petitioned the courts to be a TEMPORARY conservator to her until she was mentally stable and for only one years time. 2 months after her hospitalization she did a guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother. 6 months after her hospitalization, she drops the Womanizer video and starts to promote her new album Circus with its worldwide tour that grossed $131.8 million. If she’s so unwell, why did she start working right away? Her father after one year petitioned the courts for the conservatorship to become permanent due to her ALLEGEDLY having EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA in her TWENTIES. It passed and has been that way ever since. For 12 years to be exact. Now for everyone that doesn’t understand what that means let me break it down for you. Britney Spears is a now 38 year old woman who is not allowed to do the following without her fathers permission or he can legally lock her up in a mental health facility: • drive a car • vote • get married • have children • spend HER OWN MONEY • see how her money is being spent • see her children (she has 30% custody of both of her boys due to her dad assaulting one of her sons) • leave her home • hire her own lawyer • have any control over her career • speak about the conservatorship publicly • do interviews that aren’t scripted and all final cuts are approved by her father as well • use a cell phone without being monitored • use social media unmonitored • contact ANYONE without being monitored or having them extremely vetted. (Iggy Azalea allegedly had her house searched for drugs top to bottom when they collaborated on a song together) • go shopping • go for a walk • get Starbucks A conservatorship is meant for people with mental health issues or decaying health. Most likely grandparents or people with actual dementia etc. They are meant for people who literally cannot take care of themselves. If she is so unwell that she isn’t mentally capable of doing anything for herself, why is she still working? Since the conservatorship began 12 years ago she has: • released 4 albums • done 3 worldwide tours • did a FOUR-year Vegas residency • was a full time judge on X-Factor • released multiple perfumes and a lingerie line • made $138 MILLION DOLLARS or so A YEAR In January of last year, Britney was placed in a mental health facility for 3 months after being seen driving her car to In-N-Out with her boyfriend without permission and for refusing to take the sedating medications her father has doctors prescribing her to keep her under control. She testified to a judge in documents that she was held there against her will by her father. After it was leaked to the press that she was there against her will, the Free Britney movement picked up speed causing a judge to open an investigation into the impact and legality her conservatorship has on her life. Britney’s mother Lynn was also liking and commenting on Free Britney posts saying she agrees that Britney is trapped by her father. Britney’s team had Twitter disable the Free Britney hashtag, and regularly threatens any celebrity that speaks out using the hashtag with a lawsuit if they don’t remove their support for the movement. She was seen shortly after leaving a hotel thru the front door (99% of celebrities park underground to avoid paparazzi unless they WANT to be photographed) stumbling while carrying her shoes, and out of it. Her team used that moment to justify to the public that she needs this conservatorship. She is not allowed to have any say in the hiring or firing of anyone on her team. Every year she pays $1.1 million dollars in fees for the conservatorship to continue, including paying her father a solid $100k+ salary and paying a lawyer she isn’t allowed to choose. She is allowed an allowance of around $1,500 a week for bills, shopping and essentials. Her net worth is $250 million. So, when everyone sees her on Instagram walking up and down her hallways like it’s a fashion show. That’s all she is allowed to do. She has NEVER had control over her life. I don’t care if you personally like her or her music, NO ONE DESERVES THIS. All this woman wants is to see her children, make the music she wants to make, and go get a frappuccino in her car. She is a light of sunshine in this world, and we must protect her at all costs. So please, do not make fun of her, support the Free Britney movement, and send good vibes her way. She has a court date this month to review the conservatorship and decide if it is abusive or will continue to be in place. There are so many details to this that i left out that would make this post entirely much longer than it is, but a simple search will show you what else is out there. Spread this far and wide. ❤️ Free Britney Edited to add some important links! Here’s a google doc of info https://docs.google.com/document/d/17jeZV78SCwgQGsOkad0H0PA8jqjgRsxgSqD9f_f1yAk/edit Petition by Danny H: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/conservatorship-and-civil-liberties-britney-spears Screenshots of leaked emails, voicemails, and other helpful links: https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-britney-spears-conservatorship-freebritney-movement-2020-2 https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-09-17/britney-spears-conservatorship-free-britney https://www.forbes.com/sites/trialandheirs/2019/05/15/making-sense-of-the-britney-spears-conservatorship-and-freebritney/#5ce808c94b74 Jayden going on Instagram live reporting they were being abused by his grandfather: https://theblast.com/c/britney-spears-son-jayden-james-instagram-live-video-free-britney This is a news article from USA Today about her father’s child abuse allegations filed by Kevin Federline. He reportedly had an altercation with Sean in September 2019: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/2362531001 Source from the opposing view pointing to the success of her conservatorship and that fans are wrong, I think it's weird she has made no formal appearances to contest the conservatorship in court but she said (link above) we were not being told the truth and the media is being manipulated: https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2019/10/24/britney-spears-why-does-she-still-need-conservator/2288009001/ There's a lot of money at stake to keep her in this situation. Just seems too convenient that she can't care for herself considering her net worth, and considering the fact her male counterparts of equal stardom with public mental health battles have never been under this much control. This is an issue and question of abuse in conservatorships at large. Unfortunately, the princess of Pop has somehow become the poster child of this type of crisis. While conservatorships can be beneficial when the best interest is at heart, we can't ignore the fact there are companies that profit enormously from people with disabilities by keeping them under extensive legal control. Are they providing the best care? If Britney has been too unwell to care for herself these past 12 years, why would she be made to work tirelessly? World tours? Vegas? X-factor? Her perfume line? Why not let her rest? Here's a good excerpt from Forbes, it's just not clear what is going on, but my initial gut thinks there is something that is not right. "In this case, Jamie Spears did not have legal authority to force Britney into treatment or to take psychiatric medications. But that doesn't mean that Britney's reported claim that she was held against her will is wrong. Rather, because Jamie has so much control over Britney's life through the conservatorship - including decisions like whether to get married, to perform or live in Las Vegas, or even if she can drive a car - he easily could have refused to grant consent for Britney to do any number of things unless she agreed to his request to enter the mental health treatment facility. In other words, Jamie could have indirectly forced her into treatment even if he could not explicitly sign her in against her will. But, even if Jamie Spears did so, he may have done it out of an earnest believe that Britney needed the treatment. TMZ previously reported that Britney was not doing well and her old course of medications stopped working, necessitating heightened treatment." Take what you will from this, but here are a few petitions to reinstate her rights in August is here - http://chng.it/CMfngqyMBj https://www.change.org/p/team-britney-freebritney

[elfiesink]

Sands of Time Ch. 2

As is tradition... post fic chap here first? See if fic decent? Then I’ll post to ao3.

You didn’t remember what Overwatch was. You struggled, for a moment, to pinpoint where they existed, when you had forgotten them. But you couldn’t drag up any fragments. The most you had was the memory of the scent of ash and the taste of metal in the air. Which could, frankly, be anything. That could be literally any war. It didn’t even have to be a war. You could be remembering someone cooking back when it was done in a cast iron pot over an open fire. Your memories would never be cooperative if they could help it.

They were, military. You think. There was a war with the omnics and they ended it. It was enough to figure out where Gibraltar was. Enough tiny articles about the rumor of lights near an abandoned base. You were actually stunned by the lack of ‘ghost’ options presented by the internet. That was a go-to, wasn’t it? ‘This is a mysterious phenomena!’ It’s ghosts. ‘Weird sounds in our house!’ Ghosts. ‘Mysterious smells from nowhere!’ Ghosts. ‘Lights in the forest!’ Fae probably but humans liked to say ghosts. Ghosts were the most common supernatural force known to man. Ghosts were responsible for energy costs. Ghosts made your apples turn brown after you cut them.

Maybe you would find actual ghosts in Gibraltar. It’s a possibility.

You wander down the old road that leads to the base. Listening to the world around you, feeling as each mind slips out of your radius. You keep your senses tight around you. You don’t need to know how everyone in this sleepy town is feeling. You don’t want to lose yourself in a whirlwind of emotions that aren’t yours. Not that yours are very active.

There is a large door at the end of the road. It is not maintained, at least not as far as you can see. You cannot see any signs of life, even though you can sense something deep within the mountain, far from your physical reach. Can they see you? Are their cameras somewhere? You cling to the tablet as you search, suddenly becoming aware of how strange and suspicious you must seem. A stranger, with no luggage, no gear of any kind, snooping around the doors to a defunct military base. How could anyone know you were friend, not foe? If you even qualified as friend. More of, tentative ally.

Overwatch. You barely remembered what it even was. Part of you remembered a war, another one. This one against omnics. And then it was done, and Overwatch was hailed as the victor. Then you didn’t hear about them anymore. They were gone, another whisper that you would lose in a couple of years. But maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you would remember helping, if they let you.

Your only hope was that someone would come out to ask why you were there. What you were doing. You didn’t have an answer for them. You couldn’t say that you were a vampire there to do, vampire business for them. They would ask what that meant. Or assume that you were, at best, a liar and a spy. You couldn’t just claim to have psychic powers because you would eventually need to regain that energy and they would ask how. They would ask why. The whole vampire thing was strange at best. Dangerous at worst. Besides, you were never a fighter. If threatened you just… took control of the situation. What were you there for? To cook maybe? Clean? Anyone could clean. You could clean.

It was not an ideal offer.

Still. You were there to help. Didn’t that mean anything?

No one came out that first night. Nor the next. Nor the night after that. But you knew they were there. You spent your days pretending to be on vacation and your nights lingering by the old metal doors. Once or twice you called out, softly, just a name. Winston.  He didn’t come out. You understood, you were a stranger, you wouldn’t be in their system. But you were there. And you were not leaving. The waiting game was boring but you wouldn’t remember it anyway. You had all the time in the world and very little comprehension of what that meant anymore. It blew past you and you let it.

It took two weeks of quietly standing outside of those doors for someone to show up. You sensed him behind you. He was so, so quiet. Footsteps completely masked. You marveled at his skill, felt his energy move behind you. Swift, agile, cautious. You were being stalked. For most people this would be concerning. But for you. You could always see them, sense them. You knew where people were around you. Their intentions. This one suspected you. He was from within the mountain.

You patiently waited for him to take a stance behind you with a cold blade behind your neck.

“Winston called.”

The blade lowered, slowly. It didn’t get sheathed but it was no longer so close to running you through. His stance adjusted. You couldn’t tell where he was looking. He didn’t seem to be an omnic, but he had so many mechanical parts. The temptation to creep through his memories was a strong, but that would be invasive. And you didn’t come to pry.

“You weren’t part of Overwatch, were you?” It wasn’t a question.

“There was a message playing on my ex’s computer. It went off and I just thought… I should come help.” You lied. Lying came too naturally to you. Too clean. Too easy. You could sense his emotions changing. Suspicion to, interest. Interest to hope. You could push in. You could listen. You could pry. Instead you answered questions, followed him as the old doors creaked open. The entrance tunnel was barely maintained if at all. The walls dripped cracks that flowed through the floor. The lights were mostly out, the ones that weren’t flickered. The decay had its claws in this place. You would have your work cut out for you. This was a task beyond cleaning.

The man lead you through decrepit tunnels into decaying halls into some only vaguely damaged spaces and out into the open air. It was a beautiful view. You would have loved it a thousand years ago. Maybe a couple of hundred if you were in the right circumstance. But now it was just the ocean. It was just the water. Finite.

He took you to a workshop, or a lab, something with a lot of tools and boards full of notes and scrap everywhere. The blinking woman was there, and she greeted you with a rush of joy and excitement. You were new, and you were there. Someone else had finally come. She didn’t seem to care that you were a stranger. The woman took your hand and eagerly shook it.

“Welcome! Welcome! I’m Tracer, I don’t think we’ve met?” She looked at you curiously.

“No, you haven’t. You weren’t part of Overwatch before.” The gorilla approaches you with more trepidation. He must have checked. Something. People kept files didn’t they. Records. Memories. You kept too many. Perhaps if you poured them all into a computer you would feel a little better.

“I saw your message and… I’m not a fighter. But I was thinking you could use, administrative help? Cooking and cleaning and… repair I think. Perhaps.” You were good with your words once. When did that change? Do you remember?

“This place is falling apart. You’ll need somewhere safe and stable so you can go out and help people. I don’t need pay, I just want the chance to help.” Your tongue felt thick and your words too jumbled. Most of your conversations were with people you had mesmerized. This was. New. New and old. You shuddered and pulled all of your abilities into yourself. Quieting the world. To be inside your head alone. How dangerous.

“...Well… You’re not wrong… We can give this a try.” Winston held his hand out to you. It took you a moment to remember people shook hands. Did they? They bowed. Waved. Touched your face and pressed their foreheads to yours and shook your hand and your hand was in Winston’s and your arms were moving and you seemed to be doing this right. Perhaps. Go you.

“Are you going to be close by then? Living?” Tracer asked.

You nodded. You hadn’t lived anywhere for more than a few weeks in… well you weren’t quite sure. It could have been decades or centuries. Maybe you had lived somewhere for years and years and just, didn’t realize you were there. It wouldn’t surprise you. Oh, they were watching you. You were in a conversation. That would take some getting used to. What was Spain’s rental market like? You could only remember the ham.

“Sorry I was, already thinking of what to work on… I think… is there a medical bay? That should come first. At least part of it.” You finally spoke, trying to keep yourself in the moment.

“Yeah, it’s this way, I’ll show you!”

Her speed was unnatural. Science moved so fast. Cities changed with every blink. The more people discovered the more they grew and changed and pushed. It was… What was it. Impressive? Probably. You lost her at some point, weren’t sure when. They was so much exposed wiring, and so close to the open sea. A storm would make a puddle and a puddle would hurt someone. That would have to be on the priority list too. At least you didn’t have to worry about being electrocuted during all this. You ate energy, it would be like poking your mouth with a chicken strip. Not really all that life threatening when it’s also sort of delicious. Tracer appeared at your side in a flash.

“Sorry about that! Must’ve went too quick. Could you fix those?” She asked, following your gaze to the wires.

“Yes, I can.”

#Pharah x Reader #Mercy x Reader #mercy x pharah x reader #gender neutral reader

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Tomás Nochteff (Mueran Humanos)

Mueran Humanos, an Argentinian duo now based in Berlin, mixes post-punk, industrial-inflected synth explorations, garage rock and psychedelia. Carmen Burguess and Tomás Nochteff share vocal duties and play a very basic line-up of instruments: bass, synths, drum machines and samplers. In his review for Dusted, Andrew Forell called their latest, Hospital Lullabies, “a thrilling concoction of electronic, industrial, bass-driven body music fueled by the transgressive spirit of a DAF or a Psychic TV.” Here, Tomás presents his list of visionary music.

A list of visionary music

What is a visionary? Visions can come in dreams, in journeys to other worlds, in hallucinations. They can be the product of will, of a derangement of the senses, or they can come uninvited to save you or to haunt you and destroy your mental balance, even your life. It can be heavenly, or hellish, but to be authentic visions they have to be otherworldly. And to be visions rather than just imagination, they must have an element of truth. Not literal truth, like “that wall is green,” but a different kind of truth, the one that´s expressed in symbols, in metaphors, in omens and obsessions. In “Heaven and Hell,” Aldous Huxley analyzed the visions of people under the influence of psychedelic drugs, the visions of mystics and the visions of schizophrenics. He found fundamental parallels and concluded that they must have been visiting the same places. These people are not merely hallucinating, but they are perceiving another reality, visiting a different world, or maybe they are perceiving the world as it really is. And he quotes Jung on this: “schizophrenics and mystics are on the same ocean, but schizophrenics are drowning and mystics are swimming.” A visionary could be a mix of all these archetypes. Like Philip K Dick: was he on drugs? Yes. Was he mad? Yes. Was he seeking enlightenment? Yes. Had his visions an element of truth? No doubt about it. Were his visions revelations? To some extent, yes.

On our last album, Hospital Lullabies, the songs deal with all these different experiences on the journey to another world and on the invasion from another world into everyday life, with its horror and its beauty, the agony and the ecstasy. And how one copes, or doesn´t, with it.

So to celebrate it, I made a list of music that I do consider visionary. There’s madmen, there’s mystics and there’s psychonauts, all possible combinations of the three archetypes and everything in between.

Pharoah Sanders—“The Creator has a Masterplan” (Impulse)

I don´t know much about cosmic jazz, or any jazz for that matter, but what I know is that this record is pure bliss. “Harvest Time,” on Pharoah is another masterpiece. Alice Coltrane and Don Cherry are also incredible. This is music of the spheres; it has the touch of God.

Rudimentary Peni—CacophonyI (Outer Himalayan Records)

One of the few perfect punk bands ever, for lots of reasons. The bass lines are extraordinary, for example. But they belong here because of schizophrenic member Nick Blinko: incredible artist & novelist, obsessed with Catholicism and the supernatural horror. A guy who stopped his medication to force himself into a psychotic crisis just to write an album. Hero. Martyr.

Nico— “Janitor of Lunacy” (Cherry Red Records)

For me, Nico was the best and more underrated of all Velvets (and we love Velvet Underground as much as anyone). Also, the production from John Cale on her records is probably his best work too, or at least among his best. I feel that she is not appreciated enough. Iggy said that meeting her changed him. I suspect that´s true for all her famous friends: Bowie, Lou Reed, John Cale, Leonard Cohen, etc. They were all larger-than-life characters. And we know there is an element of self-built mythology on all that, a bit of acting. There is nothing wrong with that; rock and roll at its best is a complete artform and we must appreciate this self-built mythology as part of their craft. But with Nico you don´t get that feeling. She seemed that she didn´t care about her image, she was born Nico and I suspect that in that sense she inspired them all to no end. She was the genuine article. One of our main loves in music. Essential with a capital E.

Coil—“I Don’t Want To Be The One”

Jhonn Balance wanted to be a magician, and he died trying. I think he succeed in building a shamanic body of work with the help of the great late Sleazy and a myriad of brilliant contributors. Coil´s music at its best it´s like a plasma between worlds, or a very, very good psychedelic drug. My most beloved electronic/industrial/post-industrial project ever and one of our main influences. This performance is superb.

Lungfish — Feral Hymns

I´m not interested in DC post hardcore per se, and I don´t have any tattoos. I shouldn´t care about Lungfish the way I do, but they knock me out every single time. Daniel Higgs is a seer. I don´t know what he is talking about, but at the same time, my gut knows exactly what he is talking about. He speaks in images, like Tarot, like the religious painters, like Rimbaud and San Juan de la Cruz. His delivery is supreme. Raw and fragile, yet powerful and precise. Over circular, repetitive, minimal structures of music that have a haunting, arresting effect. Hypnotic, magical, devotional music. Either you get it, or you don´t. I can´t explain it. That´s the beauty of it, I suppose. And the truly mark of the visionary artist.

Ghedalia Tazartes—“Une Éclipse Totale De Soleil Part 2”

Ghedalia for me represents the pure, untouched, sui generis artist. Applying the techniques of musique concrete to the ancient folk music of the Sephardic Jews with a raw energy that usually you can only find in punk, or blues. I see in him an archetype, the Fool card in the Tarot. The madman that opens the gates of heaven and hell, gives himself to these supreme energies and survives only because of his perfect innocence.

OM—“Sinai (live at Sonic City)”

Maybe the greatest rock band of the last 20 years. Here with Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe to maximum effect.

Charlemagne Palestine—Live in Holland 1998

Like Ghedalia, Charlemagne Palestine is a Jewish artist that works in the avant garde field but subverts it with the tradition of his folk music instead of sticking to the cold, cerebral, rational program of academia. He has his own world. Watch this and you will understand what I am talking about.

Virgin Prunes—Excerpts from Sons Find Devils/“Walls of Jericho”

There is a VHS tape called Sons Find Devils, comprised of live shows and short experimental films (some of them made by Balance, from Coil). I had it as a teenager and watched it countless times. Sadly, it is not complete on YouTube or elsewhere but here are some small extracts. With their heretic mix of Irish Catholic imagery, Irish Paganism, Bataille, performance art and post punk, the Virgin Prunes made a unique and extraordinary body of work. A testament of its importance is that Gavin Friday was guest singer of two bands in this list: The Fall and Coil. And Mr. Scott Walker himself invited him to sing on a play. Maybe the historians ignore them, but Mark E. Smith, Scott Walker and Coil knew where it’s at, didn´t they? Their record If I die I die is a masterpiece. Produced by Colin Newman from Wire, no less, if you need more validation.

Boredoms—Vision Creation Newsun

I like some of the more comical, early work of Boredoms, but with Super AE and this one they got me. They got serious and spiritual, channeling Alice Coltrane, tribal drumming, kraut rock and noise into a glorious, euphoric sound. Maybe they are not visionaries, but their music can produce visions. I saw them around 2005 (on acid) with the three drummers line up, still in this phase. I remember thinking “this is what cavemen had in mind when they invented music.” I actually saw it, with my eyes closed. Early humans. In caves. Inventing music. God bless LSD.

Aphrodite´s Child — 666

The one record I bought for the cover only, it cost me 50 cents, best deal of my life. A concept album about the apocalypse. Easy contender for the best psychedelic rock album of all time. Pet Sounds? Get outta here. An absolute masterpiece.

Tim Buckley—Starsailor

Tim Buckley is a mystery. He died too young. How he went from his L.A. folk rock first album to the absolute unique sound of Starsailor and Lorca is impossible to understand and a miracle of music. All six records in between are masterpieces. He was possessed by genius and has the most beautiful voice. I don´t know much about him, but his music put me out there.

Sun Ra—Night Music 1989

Watch this. Space is The Place, indeed.

Pescado Rabioso—Artaud

This guy, Luis Alberto Spinetta, is considered by many to be the most important rock musician in my country. So being an arrogant teenage punk, or whatever, of course that alone was enough to reject him altogether without even thinking. But a couple of years ago I was blown away by a book of poems he published in 1978. Incredibly beautiful, unique and sophisticated poetry. I recently started, too late, to listen to his music. This is one of his most famous and revered records. It´s dedicated to, and inspired by Antonin Artaud, who tried and failed to reach the mystic enlightenment, generating a body of work in the process which is a testament to his spiritual ambition, his radical rejection of the material world and his pain. Spinetta understood this, he said the record was trying to find an answer to Artaud, a way out of it, a way out of the pain. It´s psychedelic music of the highest order. The lyrics are incredible but you can enjoy it even without understanding them.

Dead Can Dance—Dyonisios

I kept forgetting this band exists. This new album is great. I listened to it non-stop during last Winter/Spring. It´s the perfect time because the record is about Dyonisios, so as a soundtrack for the rebirth of Nature it´s perfect. Probably their best work in years. Sublime.

The Fall—“Garden” (Live at the Hacienda, Manchester, UK, 1984)

No list of visionary rock and roll would be complete without Mark E. Smith. Famously he said, “I used to be a psychic but I drank my way out of it.” Indeed, there was a time, between 1978-1990, when he was possessed by something, injecting realism with mysticism, mixing high and low planes, exposing the supernatural forces that hides in the cracks of everyday life. He never talks about hell neither heaven, but rather the way they mix and manifest here on Earth. You’ve got countless of bands using occult/mystic imagery, and you know it´s nice but it´s just a game. You’ve got thousands of bands referencing Burroughs and the cut-up technique, but no one can write as Burroughs did. MES did it. MES wasn´t playing. He was a realist of the augmented reality, he told it like it is, in his fragmented, hallucinatory, unpretentious, visionary prose poetry.

There is a lot in his lyrics that can be read in a mystic, occult way. He left a lot of clues for the ones that can read them. His texts are kaleidoscopic, and they reflect what´s in your mind, really. I think he will be recognized with time as the great experimental writer that he actually was rather than merely an angry Mancunian punk. He had more in common with someone like Iain Sinclair than with any other rock musician. One of my favorite web sites is The Annotated Fall, where fans analyze his lyrics in depth. Pay a visit if you can, I can´t recommended it enough. In many ways, he was too intelligent for rock and roll, and that´s why he was misunderstood, but he didn´t care, he believed in constant work, never explain, never apologize. The Fall took all the best things in rock and roll: Can, Velvet Underground, punk, Captain Beefheart, and pushed it to the next level. Our favorite rock group ever.

Huun Hur Tu — “Prayer”

I tried to stick to Western, modern music but I can´t help including this.

#dusted magazine #listed #tomás nochteff #mueran humanos #visionary music #pharoah sanders #rudimentary peni #nico #coil #lungfish #ghedalia tazartes #om #robert aiki aubrey lowe #charlemagne palestine #virgin prunes #boredoms #aphrodite´s child #tim buckley #sun ra #pescado rabioso #dead can dance #the fall #mark e. smith #huun hur tu

[aquarianlights]

Happy Personal Update Time!!

I know I promised to do this forever ago, but things got busy. So here I am!

Most of you know this is my personal blog, but it has become a lot less personal since pursing medical education. I’m still here, though, and I still love coming here to read all the asks I get and interact with all my followers and all that good stuff. What I really miss is being able to post text posts. They have always been my way of venting and letting go of inward pain, anger, frustration, etc... Text posts/ranting have always been super cathartic for me. But my life is great now and I’m happy to just jump back in to give a long overdue update every once in a while because I miss doing it and I know I still have longtime followers somewhere in that list of people. Haha. Exciting stuff is happening, though!! And I’m very excited to share it, as well.

SO.............this is gonna be long because THERE’S GREAT STUFF HAPPENING!! :D AND I WANT TO SHARE IT ALL!! I hope someone will read this coz man oh man have I come a long fucking way from the whiny little drug addicted suicidal little boy I used to be. Haha. :)

This fall semester is going to be just lovely. I’m going to have the opportunity to work with one of the clubs I’m joining to teach high schoolers how to properly do dissections. I’ll be taught how to properly clean equipment like microscopes and auger plates and such. And I’ll be working alongside a couple of my professors and other club members to mentor high schoolers in some cool biology stuff. :)

The other night, I finally got official international membership with Phi Theta Kappa and also got international membership with the Omega Nu Chapter. I’ll be receiving all that good proof stuff soon like certificates and such, but the reason I’m primarily excited about that is because that opens me up to a TON of scholarship opportunities. Both of those societies give out a fuckton of money every year for academic achievement and with me transferring schools, I’m hoping to be lucky enough to snag some of that.

One of my professors recommended me for a student council officer position and I found out recently that he spoke with another professor in the same department that had me as a student and she got on board with that, but I’m not entirely sure I want to go that route because while I was writing up my essay to submit to the current SGA explaining why they should choose me for one of the officer positions, I really didn’t feel all that passionate at all about it, so I’d much rather someone with a passion for the position have it, but it made me feel good that my professors have that kind of faith in me. I’m still debating on it, though.

Another professor of mine submitted my name for an internship position with a student partnership that eventually leads you to an invite-only online community where you can be set up with more internship opportunities and helps to make connections in your field and all sorts of stuff. The internship has a $200 stipend for the first semester that you do it and a $250 stipend for every following semester that you do it. 

I was going to try it out with her this summer semester, but I had *NO* idea there was so much involved. By the time I had completed my 10 hours of training, I was in shock by the amount of work I was going to need to do to prepare for the role so I’ll actually be taking it on for the first time during Fall semester instead of summer, which is annoying because part of this internship requires you to make a short presentation in every one of the classes that the professor has that term for the students their class (and any other professor in the department who uses the software who may need you), record said lecture and put it up on canvas with the professor for anyone who missed the 1st day of class and for any online classes, be open for any questions after the presentation from both the students and the professor, hold at least 2 hours worth of office hours during the first week, and a *TON* of other stuff that happens prior to the semester before this and after this throughout the semester that would take forever to list. This is annoying that I am having to start in the fall because summer semester has less than HALF the students that fall has. There’s barely anyone there in the summer at all and summer classes are usually very laid back. The teachers are so chill in the summer and usually don’t care much, whereas the Fall semester is serious business and there are TONS of incoming freshman all confused about where they are going and everyone is lost and in a hurry and nervous and it is just total chaos literally everywhere on any campus you go to. So we really wanted to test this out during summer, but there’s just no way. The amount of representatives I have to meet and sit down with and hash out certain details with prior to even making this presentation is going to take me at least a couple weeks and summer semester starts next week. Lol. I only had like 3 weeks from the time my professor submitted my name. Was not nearly enough time.

It’s a very overwhelming internship and the work is... daunting. I mean, it is going to be a *LOT* of work and it is something I have never done before and it will be a style of leadership that I have never had placed on my shoulders before, but everyone has to take that first step at some point in their life. I hope I can do it. I’m going to try... I won’t say I’m not nervous about standing in front of a lecture hall full of students... but I’m probably not as nervous as some would be. I used to hold rally’s in my town square when I was younger to inform the public on the dangers of puppy mills, so I’m quite comfortable with public speaking, but I will say that it has been a good minute since I have done it and I have never stood up in front of a lecture room full of college students who are the same as I am and tried to pretend to know exactly what I’m doing. That’s a little scary to me. Ngl. Lol.

I’m going to be taking American Sign Language as a fluff class to boost my GPA, so I’m really excited about that because I’ve been wanting to learn it really badly. Just wanted to throw that in there haha. :)

That’s about it for the really BIG things for Fall Semester right now, not including like... the normal hard classes, graduating and switching uni’s soon and stuff. Which I’m super excited about!!

BUT!!...This summer is gonna be lit as well!

I got a volunteer position that I’m going to be in orientation for sometime soon (I think next week is what she said) where I’m going to a local shelter and all I’m doing all day is walking dogs, socializing dogs (basically playing with them and getting them comfortable around humans and other dogs so they’re more adoptable), bathing dogs, and basic training (sit, stay, etc...). It is basically my DREAM volunteer position!!

I just remembered reading an article at one point that said “most people don’t know that shelters really need people to just walk the dogs because regular volunteers usually don’t have the time”. And I remembered volunteering at the Humane Society when I was more able bodied than I am now and that was not something I could do now. It was much too physically taxing. Cleaning kennels, washing over 100 dog bowls in a massive sink that I had to stand on a stool to reach, washing tons of worn out dog blankets and toys, carrying heavy loads of laundry, carrying heavy water dishes out to the play yard, filling up buckets and carrying them, scrubbing the floors with a scrubber thing, etc etc etc... like, I could barely do it as able bodied as I was then. There was no slowing down because you had to rotate the dogs out and you only had a certain amount of time to clean the few bowls and toys/beds/towels we had and only a certain amount of time to power wash/spray down the kennels they were in. It was very very fast paced work and one large break in the middle of the day and I had to leave early and I know I could not do that now. Not in a million years. 

Dog walking is something I can do with any size dog. Dog washing is still something I can do and something I have done professionally many times in the grooming industry. Dog socializing is wonderfully cathartic for me AND them. And I’m quite good with basic training, despite what it may seem with Echo...lmao (he just hasn’t been around consistency, which is a huge problem).

So I’m very very excited to get through my orientation and get started on this volunteer position! They were so kind and said that my physical disabilities would be no problem and they could work with me on my pace. I’m really looking forward to this and I’m hoping I can maybe fit it into my schedule when school starts up, even if I have to cut it down to just a couple hours, one day a week.

AND THEN........

In my PERSONAL life...

I’ve made a really cool circle of friends who isn’t intertwined with one of the most toxic people in my life that I really love and will most likely keep in my life forever because I truly believe they can unlearn the toxic behaviour and they’re one of my platonic soul mates. So I now have this really awesome circle of friends that I’m experiencing and learning all these new things about myself and about New Orleans and I keep getting closer with them.

((I may or may not post a rant I wrote up about that, coz it’s painful to talk about. And this is a happy post so it doesn’t go here!!))

I’m learning how to cook through one of those friends. I don’t have enough money to throw at a Hello Fresh subscription, but one of my next door neighbours in my apartment complex has turned into my really good friend and she has a Hello Fresh bi-weekly subscription and it usually is a 2-serving dish and we both live alone and we are both learning to cook for the first time, so we are doing it together. :D She invites me over to her apartment whenever she’s cooking and we’ll just muddle through learning how to cook together. It’s going to be a lot of fun honestly because I have SOOOOO much to learn!! :) Recently got a NutriBullet so I can make protein shakes, but I need to look at recipe’s coz mixing protein powder with just milk or water is awful. Ugh.

I’ve made up my own 30 day challenge for exercising and basically just becoming more healthy and getting my heart and muscles in better shape. June has 30 days so I figured what better way to do a 30 day challenge than on a month that has 30 days lol. Easy to keep track of, right? I made myself a chart and put it on my fridge and everything. Going to keep a log. I’m very excited to see the difference between day 1 and day 30. Going to take pictures for comparison. Idk if 30 days will make that big of a difference, honestly but... we’ll see??? Lol.

I guess this should go up in the school section, but I’m also working on quite a few scholarship entries so we’ll see how that goes!! I had NO idea so many easy essay scholarships were out there!! Keeping it to 1k words is the hard part. :( Eeeeeeeeeeep!!

Been studying for the MCAT’s and tryna find a medical math tutor. It’s gonna be hard, but... we’ll see. Hopefully the MCAT prep classes will help.

I’m in love with deep cleaning and organizing and my neighbour is gonna pay me to clean her apartment and then I’m going over to her mother’s house that she’s renting out (her mother passed away recently and she couldn’t handle staying in the house anymore) to help her Marie Kondo the place. We’re just gonna kind of... go at her own pace, slowly thank everything for doing its job, and get rid of everything that we can and deep clean everything while we are doing it. Probably just take it a day or a week at a time. I’ll be there with her to support her through the process...like if she needs to cry on someone when she sees a certain item or something. I’m excited to help with her journey to recovery and I’m so honoured to be given the chance to be someone’s rock. I love the bond me and my neighbour are developing. I just feel so honoured.

I’m going up to my parents house, then up to Virginia, then hopefully MA towards the end of the summer. Looking forward to the trip quite a bit. :)

HONESTLY... 

I’m just so freakin’ excited. My life is going so wonderfully. Everything is so great. My apartment is wonderful, my relationship with my mom is on the mend because of how well in school I’m doing (you all know that’s all she cares about lol), I have wonderful friends and a great support group, my therapist and I click really well, I’m making opportunities happen and having opportunities open up to me in return, I’m meeting new people and seeing new things, I’m feeling physically healthier than ever (even though my chronic pain is worse than ever), I almost always wake up in a good mood, I’ve been getting a good amount of sleep almost every single night, school is good, connections in the professional world are growing... 

The ONLY thing holding me back right now is money. I’m pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and it is killing me. The amount of things I *WANT* to do but don’t have the money for is just killing me. I’ve been wanting to take dance lessons, but I don’t have the money. Been wanting to sign up to a yoga studio and FINALLY found one IN MY AREA(!!) that had instructors trained in dealing with people with ehlers danlos syndrome (which is crazy coz lots of yoga instructors turn me away when they hear I have ehlers danlos type 3), but I can’t afford it. 

I can barely pay my rent. :| I’m lucky I have EBT, otherwise I literally would not have had any food over the past 2 months. I would have had to choose between having a roof over my head or having food, so thank FUCK I have EBT coz I have a full cabinet and fridge right now. Fucking bless. Lololol.

I’m just so content. There’s a lot of stuff going wrong here and there and a lot of stuff stressing me out, but OVERALL... I couldn’t be happier.

Things have really taken a turn in my life and I have been waiting for them to all come crashing down for 2 years now and they still haven’t and that’s amazing to me.

And there’s my update lol. Hope you enjoyed the Killian Chronicles.  😂 😂 😂 Love and missed you all!  😘

((PS: This has not been proofread and most likely never will be. Free-flow-thought writing is my specialty lol.))

#personal #me.txt

[willyoushareyoursoulwithme]

Abortion Clinics Are Not Safer; A Compilation

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of these contain murder, botched abortions and other gory things. But, abortion is a gory business so quite frankly if you’re going to support the abortion industry you should probably know exactly what it does.

If you skip this, I do not blame you. These articles can have some very triggering content.

 However, if you can’t stomach reading the articles, maybe you shouldn’t support the industry. There are many more cases such as these that are not reported, and I’m sure many are much worse. 

Also, I literally got these from a quick Google search. Over 11 different stories, even more sources, and I’m not even done!! There’s more!! I’m just trying not to clutter up everyone’s dashboard with a super long post lol. 

Abortion Industry Negligence Nationwide: Highlighting the Most Egregious Offenses

More Abortion Clinics Face Suspension Over Health Codes

On April 9, ABC Philadelphia news reported that two former nurses at the Planned Parenthood of Delaware abortion facility quit their jobs, citing unsafe, unsanitary conditions, and “a meat-market style of assembly-line abortions.”

On May 29, Jayne Mitchell-Werbrich and Joyce Vasikonis testified before the Delaware state senate. They referred to the clinic conditions as “ridiculously unsafe” and noted that women were at risk for hepatitis and AIDS.

[ . . . ] two of the highest volume Planned Parenthood abortion facilities (Far Northeast and Elizabeth Blackwell Center, both in Philadelphia) in Pennsylvania failed inspection. Inspectors found that both facilities were improperly storing fetal remains – in undated bags at Elizabeth Blackwell Center, and unpreserved in a janitor’s closet at Far Northeast. They also discovered unsanitary implements, including unused syringes and needles that had been removed from their packaging. At Elizabeth Blackwell Center there were dark stains on the carpet and on a bench in a patient area.

[ . . .] abortionist Kermit Gosnell was found guilty of the murder of three newborn children and the negligent death of one patient. He had been charged with eight counts of murder including seven babies who were born alive and then killed with scissors. Prosecutors said that he made millions of dollars over 30 years, performing as many illegal, late-term abortions as he could.

In May, Operation Rescue released a report revealing that 3 former staff members of the Aaron Women’s Clinic in Houston had come forward with evidence of horrific late term abortions conducted by abortionist Douglas Karpen. The informants provided photographic evidence (taken on their cell phones) of illegal late-term abortions. The photos depicted two babies aborted well beyond Texas’ legal limit of 24 weeks. Their necks had been cut. The physical condition of the babies revealed that they had likely been born alive and then subsequently killed. Testimony from the former workers indicated that Dr. Karpen was committing both very late term abortions and infanticide. Patients would be administered doses of Cytotec, a drug that causes strong and unpredictable uterine contractions, to induce labor, and then he would proceed with the abortion.“When he did an abortion, especially an over 20 week abortion, most of the time the fetus would come completely out before he cut the spinal cord, or he introduced one of the instruments into the soft spot of the fetus in order to kill the fetus,” stated former surgical assistant Deborah Edge. According to Edge, this was a common occurrence.

Steven Chase Brigham’s Fairfax, VA facility remained closed as of June 2 after an April inspection in which “unsanitary equipment, expired medication and failure to maintain equipment or follow proper patient care protocols” were discovered.

Nova Women’s Health Center, the busiest abortion clinic in Virginia, closed when its lease was terminated via a lawsuit by the property owners on the grounds that the abortion clinic created a public nuisance. According to the lawsuit filings, Nova patients were regularly inside the building “lying down in corridors…and, in some instances, even vomiting.” One filing said witnesses would testify that this was a daily occurrence. Previously in 2007, the state Board of Health reported evidence of negligence and abuse at Nova Women’s Health Center clinic including: failing to provide follow-up care, keeping inadequate records, and improperly handling and dispensing drugs. Abortionist Mi Yong Kim was forced to surrender her medical license, but continued to operate the clinic.

Itai Gravely, a 26-year-old woman, filed suit against the Women’s Health Center of West Virginia and abortionist Rodney Lee Stephens after Stephens allegedly forced Ms. Gravely to proceed with an abortion against her will and then left her dead baby’s head inside her womb. Gravely changed her mind about the abortion after adequate anaesthesia could not be administered. Stephens ordered clinic workers to physically restrain Ms. Gravely as he proceeded with the abortion. The next day, Ms. Gravely was rushed to the emergency room where it was discovered that dismembered body parts of her child had been left in her womb.

The New Woman All Women abortion facility in Birmingham sent three women with botched abortions to the hospital. Paramedics had to hand-lift a partially clad woman through a narrow doorway and down several steps because the building did not have a gurney-accessible entrance. The Alabama Department of Public Health issued a 76-page deficiency report citing the following among other violations.

Clinic staff was not properly trained to provide safe quality patient care.

Failure to have policy and procedures related to medication administering and errors. This resulted in the hospitalization of three abortion patients on January 21, 2012, with one patient placed in ICU.

There was no documentation that the two abortionists employed by Derzis were even qualified to do abortions.

Abortionists made illegible notations on patient charts, which made determining critical information about patient care impossible.

In several cases, the notes about patient care and conditions were completely false.

On July 20, 24-year-old Tonya Reaves died following a second-trimester abortion at a Chicago Planned Parenthood. Autopsy results reveal that Ms. Reaves died as a result of a hemorrhage following a botched surgical abortion. The autopsy reported that she was a healthy woman at the time of her abortion but that she suffered an “extensive” perforation of her broad uterine ligament with a possible severing of her left uterine artery as a result of the abortion procedure. The autopsy also revealed that the abortion was incomplete as the medical examiner discovered that pieces of placenta had been left attached to her womb, despite the dilation and evacuation (D & E) abortion performed by Planned Parenthood. Reports indicate that Planned Parenthood ignored instructions by an emergency dispatcher to call 911.

So I don’t mean to be blunt or anything, but tbh I am not looking into entering discourse with you. Any comments trying to bait me into arguments/debates will be deleted, and any hate in my inbox will be blocked. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine, you’re entitled to your own opinion, but don’t come yelling at me to change mine. Anyone who does so will be blocked.

However, if you have a question and want to pm me privately, I would love to talk to you about it! Just don’t start venting in my ask box or the notes of this post. 

If you want an insiders’ opinion of the abortion industry, go see the movie Unplanned!! It follows Planned Parenthood’s employee of the year as she discovers what the industry is really like.

tldr; The abortion industry is fraught with gory deaths and botched surgeries. They are not safe.

#abortion #murder #infantcide #tw violence #tw gore #tw death #tw infant death #tw baby death #tw surgeries #tw abortion #trigger warning #pro-life #pro life #planned parenthood #unplanned