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katnissmellarkkk · 9 months

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tis I with a prompt: I request the first time post war Katniss lets Peeta into her bed again 🥺

AN : wrote this the night you sent the prompt but I absolutely hated it until now. I finally got around to cleaning this up a bit and now I think it’s cute? Lemme know, all of y’all, if you like it! And my writing muscles are rusty so send me a prompt if you like, to try and work me out please! Can’t make any promises about what’ll trigger my brain but I can sure try! Anywaysss hope y’all enjoy this lil post-mockingjay-pre-epilogue drabble here!

I watch with dread as Peeta scrubs away the last bit of sauce still dried to his plate.

“You really don’t have to do that,” I murmur halfheartedly from where I lean against the counter, watching him.

“It’s rude to not wash your own plate after dinner,” he says, his tone somewhat coy. He’s teasing me, I realize. He’s maybe even flirting with me but I can’t be sure and even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to make of it.

“I never wash mine after eating at your house,” I mumble, mostly to myself. I know he doesn’t care about cleaning off my plate for me. I know that he knows that I don’t mind washing his plate either.

But I don’t push the point and neither does he. Because we’re both stalling the inevitable.

It’s past ten at night and it’s time for Peeta to go home now. This time comes every day and we should be more prepared for it by this point, but every single night when the sun has long since left the sky and you can barely make out five feet in front of you without a flashlight, Peeta walks out the front door and my chest aches, as he disappears out into the night.

Ask him to stay, a tiny voice that sounds weirdly like both Haymitch and my mother — at the same exact time — pressures me.

But my tongue won’t cooperate and I can’t make the words form on my lips and I feel my stomach flip as I stutter out an awkward goodbye instead.

“Goodnight, Katniss,” Peeta says evenly, his face smooth and peaceful and totally level as he reaches out and squeezes my hand before moving to grab his coat.

He’s walking towards the door and I feel the familiar dread — the dread that’s been my constant companion for longer than I care to remember — rise up in my stomach and for a split second I want to reach out and grasp his elbow. For a split second I want to grab onto him and stop him from leaving.

And for a moment I plan to ask him to stay, to come upstairs with me, to get into his pajamas and brush his teeth by my side at the sink, to crawl beneath the sheets and hold me until we hear birds begin to chirp with the morning light. In that moment I plan to ask him to do exactly what we used to do on the train, exactly what we used to do every single night, back before everything between us completely shattered beyond recognition.

My hand drops midair before I can make the contact with his arm but it catches his attention just the same.

“What’s wrong?” He inquires, his face becoming concerned.

“Nothing,” I brush off tightly. Instead of saying what I’m thinking, instead of saying what I want, I just force a smile and lightly graze his hand. “Get home safe.”

At that, he shoots me a bemused look. “I live three houses from you. Somehow I think I’ll be fine.”

I nod and chuckle as he leaves, as he disappears into the night, making the shortest of journeys home, unwittingly leaving me to dwell in regret for all the things I wish I’d just come out and said.

As soon as the door shuts between us regret the size of an elephant lands on my chest.

And I know, without a doubt, this is going to be one bad night for me.

The funny thing about my nightmares is they never lose their edge. Not with time, not with practice, not with comparison. I’ve seen Cato get eaten by the mutts hundreds of times. I’ve watched Clove stab me with her knives and Brutus chase me through the jungle and Enobaria break my neck with one hand, more than I could possibly count.

I’ve witnessed my sister detonate, as if I’m still standing right there, in the city circle of the Capitol. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times since that day. I’ve witnessed it more often than I’ve managed to actually sleep since that day.

And it never gets easier. It never becomes routine. I’m never ever prepared for it.

Instead I’m left paralyzed as the same dreams plague me over and over and over again.

Other things do change though. I used to thrash around, kicking and screaming as the dreams tortured me for minutes on end. I used to wake up, sweat covered and coiled up in my bedding, trapped in a physical sense that only manages to make my dreams even more intense somehow.

But over time something shifted and somehow, between the bomb that killed my sister and taking down Coin and the trial I scarcely remember, the thrashing stopped and the walking began.

For months now, I’ve woken to find myself in strange rooms, in small crawl spaces I didn’t know existed, inside cupboards and beneath beds no one’s ever used in guest rooms I barely recognize.

But I’ve never found myself outside before. Never, in all the time I’ve dealt with these dreams, have I ever once ended up in my front lawn.

Never, in my wildest imagination, did I picture myself waking from my nightmare, facedown in some dirt, ripping grass from the ground as I let out a rabid scream.

“Katniss,” I hear a voice softly murmur, like speaking to an injured fawn, terrified of scaring them away. “Katniss, it’s okay.”

And my lips cry for the voice before my brain fully recognizes it. “Peeta?”

“It’s just me,” he says, and I feel his hands grasp the tops of my arms, gently pulling me upright. “It’s only me.”

I pry my swollen eyes open and take in Peeta’s kind, worried face, mere inches away from mine.

“You’re here?” I croak, still groggy and confused. “What’s going on?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he explains, thumbing away my tears as more come pouring out. “But it’s over now. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” His hand cups my cheek softly, holding the weight of my head.

I nod plaintively, my body still completely exhausted despite the fact I was just asleep. “I’m okay,” I try to say but all that comes out is a guttural raspy sound and I watch as his face softens even more.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” he whispers, offering me his hand.

I take it without question, but find that I’m not upright for long. The moment I’m standing, my bare feet touching the dewy grass, Peeta bends down and scoops me up in his arms.

I don’t question it though. Maybe secretly I wanted him to do that. I definitely didn’t want to wait around to see if Haymitch came outside, asking why I was screaming at this hour of the day.

Peeta carries me into the house as if I weigh as much as Buttercup, kicking the door shut behind him and walking over to the couch. He sits down with me on his lap and drops his arms, as if to let me decide the next move. I could either crawl away from him, put some distance between us, or I could remain where I am.

To me, the choice barely takes any consideration.

I curl up closer to him, the images from the dream still too fresh to handle alone. I press my face into his neck and fold myself into him and hope he reciprocates in kind.

It doesn’t take more than a second for him to respond. As soon as I initiate it, he’s there, pulling me tighter, cradling me against him, rocking me back and forth like I’m something precious to behold.

“It’s okay,” he repeats again and again and again, as if we entered a time warp and we’re back on the train, back in the Capitol in our little apartment, sharing a bed, guarding against nightmares we stupidly thought would be the height of our troubles. “I have you, Katniss. I won’t let anything hurt you now.”

I cry into the collar of his shirt, drained and shaking and still half-crazed, feeling slightly better only when his fingers begins to smooth my hair away from my face.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers gently, his hand moving from my hair to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing circles there to alleviate my trembling.

Time begins to pass. My tears dwindle to nothing. I feel the shaking come to an end. Every last ounce of energy I have left seeps from my body. My eyes grow heavy.

And pretty soon, I feel myself lifted once again, into strong, protective arms, cradling me like a baby as they carry me up the stairs and down to the end of the hall.

I’m tucked into bed gently, with the utmost care. The covers are brought up to my chin, my hair is brushed off my forehead and his fingers lightly dance upon my cheek. But it’s not enough. I still crave more.

“Don’t leave me,” I whisper, and my voice still isn’t mine, it’s someone else, someone who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. For who she wants to lay beside her in the darkness.

“Okay,” he murmurs and it sounds like a promise but as he sits down on the side of my bed and takes my hand in his, planting a soft kiss upon the back of it, I know he doesn’t understand what I’m truly asking.

“No, Peeta, that’s not what I meant,” I say, shaking my head, before pushing the covers back. “Can you get in? Can you stay with me?”

I don’t really grasp my word choice and all the underlying meanings until it’s already slipped out and too late to take back again.

But I only have a moment to be filled with regret. Because that’s how long it takes Peeta to slide in beside me.

And as I curl into him, wrapping my leg around his waist, burrowing my face in the curve of his neck, basking in the feeling of utter safety and happiness that I have never, ever found in another pair of arms, he whispers the only thing that could erase my chagrin.

“Always.”

#everlark #thg #hunger games #thw #Katniss everdeen #Peeta mellark #300 #my drabbles #my writing #drabble #everlark drabble #thg fanfic #everlark fanfiction

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nebulouscoffee · 10 months

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The thing about Kai Winn's storyline ultimately being a tragedy is, it's not only a tragedy because her fate (in the eyes of the non-linear Prophets) was already known and nothing she did or said was ever going to make them acknowledge her- not only because she wanted so badly to have a big role to play in the grand, historic story of the newly independent Bajor and just couldn't handle the fact that she was never meant to- not only because the Prophets spoke to Sisko and Bareil and Kira and literally even Quark but not her- not only because she was deceived and raped and killed in the end- but most of all because, it was partly her love of Bajor that killed her.

Think about it- her whole regression during that final arc with Dukat is so tragic precisely because she was THIS close to redemption! Throughout the show, we see that her brain processes information in very rigid, binary ways: if you are not my ally, then you are my enemy. If you disagree with even one of my opinions, you are my enemy. If you refuse to endorse and support me in this mission, you are my enemy. That's part of why she's so easily swayed by fascist rhetoric, I think- she's just unable to cope with nuance. (This is foreshadowed in 'Shakaar', where she puts the whole of Bajor under martial law just because Shakaar disagreed with her over how she was handling soil reclamators.) Her personal narrative is I am the one who will save Bajor -> anyone who gets in my way is my enemy and therefore an enemy of Bajor -> I must stop them using any force necessary for the good of Bajor because I am after all the one who will save Bajor.

But when Sisko discovers the city of B'hala in 'Rapture', she is for the first time forced to accept the truth that he really hasn't been faking this whole "talks to the Prophets" thing- he's the real deal. We learn later on (when she tells "Anjohl" about how she honestly felt nothing the first time she saw the wormhole open) that a small, small part of her actually always doubted the existence of the Prophets. Now, she is faced with definitive proof that they are not only very real, but they also really do have a bond with Sisko. And for a while, she even comes to terms with this! In fact, at the end of the episode, she and Kira have possibly their first completely honest exchange:

KIRA: Maybe we're the ones who need to trust the Prophets. For all we know, this is part of their plan. Maybe they've told Captain Sisko everything they want him to know. WINN: Perhaps. I suppose you heard that Bajor will not join the Federation today. The Council of Ministers has voted to delay acceptance of Federation membership. KIRA: You must be very pleased. WINN: I wish I were. But things are not that simple. Not anymore. Before Captain Sisko found B'hala, my path was clear. I knew who my enemies were. But now? Now nothing is certain. KIRA: Makes life interesting, doesn't it?

Like, YASS babygirl- you too can learn to handle nuance!! I believe in you!!💪💪

And later on, at the onset of the Dominion War, she comes to Sisko for advice herself. She doesn't want to see her planet colonised again, and she's even willing to put aside her desire to be the main character to ensure it doesn't happen. Driven by pride and the need for power as she is, she is also driven by the desire save Bajor (and preferably be the one saving Bajor, which is the subsection of this desire that ultimately ends up being her downfall) - and she does briefly decide that cooperating with the Emissary is the best way to do this! I think about this scene from 'In The Cards' so much:

WINN: ... I have asked the Prophets to guide me, but they have not answered my prayers. I even consulted the Orb of Wisdom before coming here and it has told me nothing. So I come to you, Emissary. You have heard the voice of the Prophets. You were sent here to guide us through troubled times. Tell me what to do and I will do it. How can I save Bajor? SISKO: You want my advice? Then this is it. Stall. Tell Weyoun you have to consult with the Council of Ministers, or that you have to meditate on your response. Anything you want, but you have to stall for time. WINN: Time for what? SISKO: I don't know. But I do know the moment of crisis isn't here yet, and until that moment arrives we have to keep Bajor's options open. I'm aware that this is difficult for you, given our past, but this time you have to trust me. (Winn holds Sisko's left ear.) WINN: Very well, Emissary. We put ourselves in your hands. May we all walk with the Prophets.

In the earlier seasons, Winn would often casually make claims that the Prophets had "told her" something, or that she was just "doing what the Prophets asked"- and her political position as Kai always allowed her to just lie about being in contact with them all the time. Now, you can see the sheer humility- the embarrassment, even- on her face as she (for the first time) openly admits to Sisko that she has never actually heard them speak before; and that they clearly "prefer" him. Yes, there's some (understandable imo) bitterness here- but not at him, at THEM. And when she tries to read his pagh at the end- something she probably does to dozens of people every day, most of whom would unquestioningly believe anything she declares afterwards- she doesn't even try to pretend she felt anything there. It's one of her most genuine moments in the whole show, you can just SEE the redemption arc in reach and it's so heartbreaking!!

I think 'The Reckoning' is a huge episode for her too, for many reasons- but let's talk about how it sets up this fascinating parallel between her and Kira (who Odo describes in this episode as having "both faith and humility"). The Prophets choose Kira as their "vessel" because she was "willing"- meanwhile, Winn was right there just begging to be a part of this! Here she is, with a Prophet right in front of her face- and she prays and postures and begs and prays some more, all just to get ignored. Kira's brand of faith is very, "I am ultimately insignificant and I surrender my power and my body and pagh to the Prophets"- Winn's is more, "if I do all the right things, then I will be able to prove to the Prophets that I am worthy of their attention, worthier than everyone else, and maybe then they'll appoint me the saviour of Bajor! It's My Destiny, You See!! (Why Isn't This Happening For Me??)" And the events of this episode are kind of a big slap in the face to her honestly, because they sort of prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Prophets have no interest in her. Maybe stopping the battle was also an attempt at regaining some kind of agency with them- I DID THIS, I pulled a switch and it had a direct effect on the Prophets, so there!! (Whatever that effect entails). She does care about Bajor. Of course she does. But her ideal configuration of Bajor involves her being a major player in its salvation, which she was just never meant to be. And this is why she's so tragically susceptible to Dukat's manipulation- he was the first person ever to tell her everything she always wanted to hear.

And the intriguing thing about Dukat's deception is, it doesn't all fall apart at one go. It falls apart in layers. And this makes for some excellent, excellent Winn characterisation imo.

First, she thinks the pah wraiths are the Prophets- and they tell her, hey, The Sisko has faltered, Bajor needs you, and only you can fix this. Good lord, imagine finally getting to hear those words after a lifetime of silence! And it's very telling that her first reaction isn't to gloat like she would've in the earlier seasons, but instead to humbly- even anxiously- pray. Bajor needs her, the "Prophets" have asked her to do something, this is her moment! Then, this random lovely Bajoran farmer comes in and tells her even more things she has always wanted to hear- that her activism during the Occupation (ignored by Kira and Sisko alike) saved lives, that he always wondered why the Prophets would choose an alien as their Emissary, that surely Sisko and his followers were mistaken- and finally, "our world will be reborn- with YOU as its leader". Sounds good, right? But THEN she finds out she's been speaking to the pah wraiths and the lovely farmer is a devil worshipper actually. And she tries the "wash away my sins" approach- she wants some kind of quick fix ritual that will "purify" her, so she can continue to be Kai the right way. She even admits to Kira that she's always been power hungry and she wants to change- and I believe her! Unfortunately, Kira then tells her something she doesn't want to hear- that she has to step down as Kai. And surely that can't be, right? She's the saviour of Bajor! She's so complex... it's not simply her love of power that this scene reveals imo, but more significantly, her inability to see herself as not a vital part of Bajor's history; of this whole larger narrative. Like-

WINN: I'm a patient woman. But I have run out of patience. I will no longer serve gods who give me nothing in return. "GIVE ME"!! ADAMI MY BESTIE MY GIRL MY BUDDY THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM!!!

So, okay, fine, now she's swayed over to the side that maybe the Prophets aren't that great, and maybe the pah wraiths are the true gods of Bajor (because they were willing to talk to her), and maybe she's okay working with the devil worshipper. But then it turns out he's DUKAT- and at this point, she's literally murdered someone, she's ready to stop this, to go back to Sisko and set things right- but then the book of the Kosst Amojan lights up because of the blood she spilled. She did that. It happened as a direct result of her actions. She's just so desperate to be acknowledged... to have a role to play in all this, no matter who offers it to her. So the pah wraiths actually giving her a reaction isn't something she can resist. And here's where things get even more tragic.

WINN: But the prophecies! They warn that the release of the Pah wraiths will mean the end of Bajor. DUKAT: The old Bajor, perhaps. But from its ashes a new Bajor will arise and the Restoration will begin. WINN: Who will be left to see it? DUKAT: Those the gods find worthy. It will be the dawn of paradise. And you, Adami, are destined to rule it. WINN: You're sure of that? DUKAT: It is meant to be.

Again with the ease at which she's swayed by fascist rhetoric! Let's be clear, she was (and is) absolutely against the Cardassian Occupation. But her worldview is built on the pursuit of being "worthier" than everyone else, of being "closer to god" than everyone else- her expectation of faith is that it's some sort of determiner of who's doing it The Most Effectively, rather than it being a practice- and she just completely misses that any sort of plan that executes masses and spares whoever is deemed "worthy" is... literally exactly what people like Dukat did to her planet. Something something faith as competition, faith as determiner of inherent superiority, faith as a way to gain power via proximity to god… never faith as submission. And the worst part is she’s self-aware. It’s heartbreaking.

And it's about to get even more heartbreaking, because she truly believes she has arrived at her girlboss moment in the finale (I think the tragedy of her being a rape victim and knowing this and having to hide the body of the one (1) person who was looking out for her while being stuck with her rapist speaks for itself.) After kicking Dukat out on the street (lol), she studies the eeevil texts and realises that to set the pah wraiths free, you need to make a sacrifice. So now she gets to deceive him in return. And she does! The look of shock on his face when he discovers she poisoned him is priceless imo, and her triumph as she taunts his dead body, the sheer joy on her face as she casts off her Kai robes, when she recites those incantations and something actually happens- and that too such a large pyrotechnic spectacle- is so sad knowing what's coming. Because ultimately, the pah wraiths want to destroy Bajor, right? And Winn just doesn't. Of course they don't choose her. Of course they choose Dukat over her! She really thought that by tricking and murdering him, she'd made him the unimportant piece of the puzzle, that she was stealing back his thunder- but tragically, it turns out even the pah wraiths see her as disposable. Of course they resurrect Dukat (a man who's proved time and time again that he wants to see Bajor & Bajorans destroyed) and turn her into the sacrifice. The way she screams "NO!" here breaks my heart- she's betrayed her planet, and it was all for nothing. (Dukat's "are you still here?" is particularly devastating.) I think it's very significant that her final words are "Emissary, the book!"- it shows that in her last moments, she's owning her mistakes- she's stepping away from power and putting Bajor first, and leaving her own fate in the hands of the Prophets. Who, of course, once again ignore her, and choose to save Sisko instead. God.

The utter tragedy that even in the pah wraiths' plan, she was just a pawn. That she died at the hands of the gods she thought chose her, but used her, all while the gods she'd coveted her whole life stood by and did nothing. The Prophets chose Sisko because they believed he would put Bajor's interests over even his own- and now they ensure he will be back one day to see the new Bajor. She never will.

Yes, it was her pride that got her here. Her mean streak. Her inability to cope with nuance. Her inability to see herself as ultimately insignificant. Her inability to surrender to a higher power in any way that didn't involve becoming more powerful herself; more relevant, more "close to god". But it was also her love of Bajor. Because if she'd cared about Bajor less, then maybe the pah wraiths might have chosen her- or at least spared her, or taken her to their realm after she burned, the way they did with Dukat. Now, she ends up being the one thing she never wanted to be: insignificant.

Honestly if I had to summarise the tragedy of her arc in one sentence, it would probably be Kai Winn: Too Evil For The Prophets, Not Evil Enough For The Pah Wraiths. She and Dukat are not the same! She is a perfectly pathetic, sad and wet blorbo and I am holding her gently in my hands while apologising for her crimes <3

#cw rape mention #ds9 #just to be clear: I did write this post after seeing the take #'the prophets never spoke to winn because even they found her insufferable & knew she didn't even care about bajor'#which I happened to disagree with (as I do w/ every take that claims she didn't care about Bajor or that she and dukat were 'equally evil')#BUT! this is absolutely not meant to be a callout post or anything #there is a lot of general misogyny in discussions about her and I have my issues with the way people make light of her trauma #but if you just don't happen to love her as a character that's totally fine! honestly the very last thing I want #is to make anyone reading this post feel bad (or for it to be used to hate on people who just like other fictional characters more)#so I kindly request that people not reblog this post with that sort of energy thank you <3 #(also I might turn off reblogs if I suddenly get shy lol)

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thebestofoneshots · 9 months

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Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: As Hogwarts days begin, challenges arise, with exhilarating morning flights, and laughter filled environments. Secret struggles surface but a caring gesture from Remus and the Marauders promises to uplift spirits and forge lasting bonds. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Good times

As you walked inside the Gryffindor common room for the first time Lily was sitting on the couch, but stood up the minute you showed up “There you are! I was worried sick!” She told Remus, gave James a look of disdain and turned back to the taller boy “I thought you’d be faster to bring her here.”

“The staircase wasn’t cooperating,” Remus explained. “We had to use a different path.”

“At least you didn’t get caught.” She said taking a deep breath and sitting back down on the couch, now finally relaxing a bit.

“I brought some food from the kitchens,” said Peter, pulling out a kerchief tied at the top and placing it on the table in front of the fire. “It’s just some scones with cream and jam, but I thought we might get hungry.”

“Thanks, Pete,” Lily said as she untied the knot and the top and grabbed one of the little treats.

Then the portrait opened again, letting someone else inside.

You stood just behind Remus, turned towards Lily rather than the entrance but the moment you heard that voice, you froze. It's Sirius.

“Excellent job guys!” He said with a bright smile. Remus turned to him and shot a warning look, to point out they weren’t alone. Sirius saw Lily and nodded “With the evacuation of the great hall–“ he corrected “It was brilliant how you handled it, Lils, Moony, you’re both top tier prefects.”

James rolled his eyes but then a smile appeared on his face, a very James-like smile in fact, filled with charm and mischievousness. “We’ve actually got something to show you.” He said and unexpectedly pulled you from behind Remus in a way that you’d end up facing Sirius instead.

And damned merlin, Sirius was even more beautiful than you remembered. You’d like to think you’d made peace with the idea of being ghosted, with the idea of never seeing Sirius again, but standing right in front of him, now taller, with broader shoulders, longer hair, and the same stunning eyes, made you want to apparate to anywhere but there. So you just awkwardly smiled and waved, hoping he wouldn’t just storm out of the place without even saying a word.

“(Y/N)? What… what are you doing here?” He asked with a frown.

“Hey to you too, old pal,” you said, struggling to not sound as awkward as you felt.

“She’s here Pads!” Said James excitedly, “She’s gonna study with us!”

“Yeah,” Peter added, “She transferred this year like you wished she would back in the day.”

To that you raised an eyebrow, you’d seen his friends get excited when you introduced yourself to them, but it seemed weird that after ghosting you, Sirius told his friends he wished you were a student in Hogwarts “And here I thought you’d never want to see me again,” you said with a bit of a teasing smile towards him, trying to hide the doubt that still lingered in your brain. Could it really be that it had all been some kind of misunderstanding?

“What?” He asked, visibly confused.

“Since you never replied to any of my letters…”

He seemed shocked for a moment and then exhaled in a defeated tone “Walburga.”

“Your mom?” You asked frowning before it downed you “Your mom.”

He nodded “I did always wonder why you never tried to reach out.”

You thought about what he said for a moment and then smiled “Seems like we have a lot to catch up on then.”

Then James placed an arm on top of Sirius's shoulder “And I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to do that, but now we must go to bed. Tomorrow we’re flying first thing in the morning. We gotta practice before we open the tryouts.”

“Which positions are you missing?” You asked him before anyone had the chance to stop you. Once James started talking about quidditch, it was hard to get him to shut up again.

“We lost a keeper and 2 chasers,” James explained “They were from 7th and graduated last summer.”

“And you fly in the mornings, always?” You asked surprised.

“Gotta stay in top shape, I’m the captain after all.”

“Oh, that’s amazing. Mind if I join you tomorrow? I wanna test my luck on the tryouts.”

He raised an eyebrow “Which position?”

“Uh… I used to play seeker,” he winced at that, “but I’ll try for keeper I guess, I’ve got good eyes for catching things,” you replied with a smile.

“Careful Potter, she may come take your place!” Sirius teased, “All though, for all I know she might be terrible at flying.”

With Sirius teasing you like that, it was as if all those years hadn’t gone by, no resentments, no suffering. Just the two of you, continuing on where you left off. “Oh, isn’t that right? You promised me a race a couple of years ago, but that never played out.”

“Is that a challenge?” He asked but when you were about to reply Lily stood up and placed her arm over your shoulder.

“Might have been,” She said “But we must now go to our room,” she said pointing at you and herself “and you must go back to sleep if you really want to wake up at 5AM.”

“5 AM?” Frowned Sirius.

“Classes start at 7 tomorrow, if you want enough time for flying and breakfast, you’ll have to get up then.” She said before dragging you towards the stairs.

You turned your head, finding it hard to stop staring at Sirius, it was almost like a dream. “Good night boys,” You said, waving at them as you followed behind Lily, Sirius also had a hard time to stop staring at you as you walked next to the red headed girl.

As you were halfway up the stairs she whispered “It’s a terrible idea to challenge Sirius like that, knowing him, he’ll make a spectacle of the race.”

You stopped for a minute, looking at Lily with a cocky grin “It’s only a bad idea if I lose.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile “I barely know you, and so far I can tell you’re just as thick headed as that lot,” she said as she nodded towards them. “Let’s go, I’ll show you our room.”

“We’re together?” You asked with a smile.

She nodded, mirroring your expression “We were the only room with only 3 girls.”

Inside the room were Mary and Marlene, Mary was sitting on her bed while reading a book and Marlene was drying her hair with a towel near a door, which you assumed would be the bathroom. “That’s your bed,” Marlene said, pointing at the bed closest to the door. “It was here when we got to the room, that’s how we figured you’d be with us.”

“That and the trunk with your name on it,” said Mary looking up from her book “We thought you’d gotten lost in the ordeal, but Lily told us you were with Remus.”

“We would’ve gone out to find you otherwise,” added Marlene. “Lily wanted to go even if you were with Remus but we told her you’d be alright.”

“You wanted to go get me?” You asked, turning towards her.

“I felt responsible for leaving you on the stairs,” she explained “I didn’t want you to get in trouble because of me.”

“Thank you,” You told her with a smile. Lily went for a shower and you started to unpack your stuff. Marlene approached you when you pulled your broom out and you talked about quidditch until Lily was out of the shower, at which point you let Marlene have the broom and went for a shower yourself.

When you were back in the room Marlene had already placed your broom on a broom stand on the wall. “It deserved to be admired,” she’d said when you noticed and you nodded with a smile. After that, you’d all gotten comfortable in your beds and the lights were turned off.

“Good night girls,” You said with a smile, after months of feeling lonely, you finally started to feel like you belonged somewhere again. And you were so glad the hat had placed you in Gryffindor, with these girls, who had been all incredibly nice to you, and you were even happy you’d met Remus and his friends, who seemed like they would get you in so many adventures and mischief.

In the morning you were awoken by a small little metal bird picking on your face lightly, it was your mom’s gift before you got to the school, a very elegant cuckoo clock, she’d bought at a furniture store in Diagon Alley. Even if it took you a minute to fully comprehend what was going on you silently stood up and changed, pulling a thick wool sweater over your head and a pair of training pants, thick and sturdy in case of falls. All though, because they were the same you had since you were in the team back at your older school, they were a little tighter than you remembered. Perhaps you really had a growth spurt over the summer.

You grabbed a pair of goggles, your broom, and sneaked out of the room without making any noise. James was already in the common room, tapping his foot as he looked up at the stairs, hair just as messy as the day you’d met him. He looked up at you and smiled. “How is it that you take less time to get ready than Sirius?” He said and then took a deep breath “I guess it is because it’s Sirius who’s getting ready.” You raised your eyebrows in response “He’s brushing his hair,” James complained. You just laughed, longer hair’s harder to care for, but being told about Sirius’ vanity by his roommate was just hilarious. That was when Potter noticed your broom “Is that a Dark Nimbus?” He asked, staring at it from behind.

You nodded “Brand new, mom got it for me to try and make me feel better about moving.”

He stood up and got closer to take a look at it “It’s stunning!” He said with a smile as he accommodated his glasses to see better. “I have a Starmist,” he said pointing towards his broom behind him. “I got it last year, I'd like to see how she fares against your Nimbus.”

“Well, we’ll get to see it today,” You replied with a smile, that’s when you heard a door close and the two of you turned towards Sirius, who was walking down the stairs with a SweepFire he’d had for a couple of years, but that looked well cared for, it had been James’.

“Why are you wearing green?” He asked as soon as he saw you.

You looked down at your sweater and saw it change to burgundy right in front of your eyes, frowning and turning towards him “Did you just… magic dyed my sweater into a different colour?”

“Can’t be seen flying around with someone wearing Slytherin house colours,” he said as he continued walking towards the door “It’d ruin my reputation.”

You raised your eyebrows and gave James a questioning look, he just shrugged in response and followed behind Sirius, you caught up with him shortly after. As you walked down towards the patio James told you all about being Team Captain and how he had to make sure everyone was in top shape. “After the tryouts, it’s not just gonna be flying in the mornings, we’ll have practice at least 4 times a week with the whole team.”

Once on the patio, the three of you got on your brooms. And per James’s instructions did 5 laps around the castle. It was a chilly morning, so you were glad you’d put on the thicker sweater. Once you were done James pulled a quaffle and you all passed it between each other. At some point, He shot it a little farther behind you and you had to fly back to get it, bumping into Sirius and causing him to lose balance.

You responded quickly, stabilising his broom with yours and pulling his arm to stop him from falling, he’d managed to catch the quaffle with his other hand. James had flown towards the two of you as quickly as he could but by the time he arrived you were already pulling Sirius back up and laughing about it. “Maybe we should get some of those muggle hooks so you don’t fall off your broom,” you told him with a small knock on his arm.

“Hey, even without them, I’ve caught it more times than you!” He said with a proud smile.

“Not true!” You said trying to take it from his hands “That was my catch!” You nodded towards the ball in his hand as you attempted to grab it, Sirius used one of his hands to keep you back while he stretched the other arm to maintain the quaffle out of your grip.

“This one? But it’s in my hands.”

“No! I caught you, you caught it, it’s mine by right of catching you first.”

James raised his eyebrows at the exchange and smiled mischievously as he flew towards Sirius' other arm and grabbed the quaffle, flying as fast as possible in another direction. He loved flying, like he always had, but he loved the fact that his best friend was genuinely smiling even more. It wasn’t very often that Sirius smiled like that since he’d run away from his house over the summer.

“Oi!” Sirius complained as he saw James fly by and then turned towards you with a look, with a small smile and a raise of his eyebrows he communicated his plan.

You nodded mirroring his expression and the two of you turned your brooms towards James, flying side by side to corner him.

Once by his side, the two of you threw your hands toward James and tried to take the ball from him. Sirius managed to take it and from slightly above shouted, “Whoever gets to the courtyard with the quaffle in their hands wins!” He then threw the ball as far as he could.

You smiled at that and plummeted towards the direction the quaffle was thrown. You caught it just before it reached the floor.

James, who was still stunned by having the ball stolen from his hands so quickly, saw the entire thing from his broom “Wow!” he said genuinely surprised “She’s really good.” He then flew towards Sirius, who had already managed to take the ball from your hands. You managed to get your hands on the ball again and flew backwards towards James.

“Hey, James!” You called the boy, flying upside down above him “Would you mind telling me where the courtyard is?” You asked politely.

He gave you a pouty look and flew upwards, taking the quaffle back in an unexpected movement. And as he flew ahead turned back with a teasing smile “Sure thing (Y/N), I’ll take you there!” He shouted before flying towards the courtyard with the quaffle itself in his hands.

“You cheat!” You shouted with a grin and flew behind him, trying to catch up. Sirius was already hovering close to the courtyard and was planning to stop James by flying in front of him, but didn’t realise you were flying so close behind him that the moment the three of you were close enough you all crashed onto each other and started falling a few feet towards the grass.

“Arresto Momentum!” Someone screamed from the courtyard and the three of you froze for a moment, once you moved again the impulse forced the three of you towards the grass, pulling a couple of metres of it along with the you. The brooms had gone flying in all directions and then, you all ended up tangled against each other.

“James?!” Asked Lily who had been the one to cast the spell. “What in the bloody– Are you wankers?!”

The moment you saw her you started laughing, so much so that you didn’t remember the last time you’d laughed so openly, you were almost crying. Sirius and James laughed alongside you, as Lily stared with apprehension. You soon realised you had your head on top of Sirius' back and your feet under James’ torso. When the laughter died out the three of you helped each other stand up. You had scraped your knee and leg, James had scraped his arm and Sirius’ lip was parted.

Lily started scolding you once you were up “Look at you three! You could’ve gotten seriously hurt!” She said and then gave Sirius a warning look before he made it a joke of his name “You can’t pull (Y/N) into your dangerous games like that!”

“But she started it,” complained Sirius brattily “She almost threw me off my broom.”

“That was an accident!” you argued back with your finger raised. “I was gonna catch the ball.”

“You shouldn’t reverse without looking first,” he said with both of his hands raised in defence “basic flying principles.”

“But I did look! You appeared out of nowhere.”

Lily rolled her eyes and took a deep breath as he saw the two of you bicker. Then James started to look around “So who won?” He asked with a frown, to which Lily crossed her arms and stared at him.

“Well, I had the ball right before we reached the floor,” You said.

“Yeah, but it fell off your hands as soon as you took it from James and bounced back straight to my face,” He said pointing at his parted lip.

“ALL RIGHT! “ said Lily, shutting everyone up with a clap. “Nobody won, you’re all losers, now, I’m gonna take (Y/N) back to the room so she can put on her uniform before breakfast. I’m sure Marlene should have something to put on her scrape.”

“What about mine?” Asked James pulling his arm up with a pout.

“Well you can take care of it yourselves, after all you know full well where the nurses’ office is,” she responded and pulled you towards the castle.

“Please tell me you will be more careful next time you fly with them?” She said stopping you before you reached the stairs and looking straight into your eyes “I know it can be tempting to play their game but, James and Sirius don’t have a straight sense of danger, I swear they’ve been to the nurse's office over 100 times each.”

You nodded “I got caught up in the fun,” You said as you started to feel the pain in your leg once the adrenaline faded “Lily, I hadn’t flown like that in, years,” you admitted “I wasn’t thinking when I launched myself behind Potter and then Sirius came out of nowhere,” you told her “I couldn’t break on time.”

“On quidditch games there’s supervision. Who knows how much worse you’d be if I hadn’t been there!” She said finally exhaling. You looked down and nodded. Then she leaned in closer “But I do believe you won,” she whispered with a small smile motioning for you to follow behind her.

That left you stunned. Up until that moment, you’d thought Lily was all about following the rules and not having all that much fun, especially since she was a prefect. But that moment proved you wrong. Oh the adventures you’d have with her in the castle, they all awaited you.

Lily took you back to your dorm where you took a really fast shower and changed into your uniform. Marlene didn’t really have anything for your scrape but Mary did, she wanted to become a Mediwitch so she’d been testing some simple potions back at home and gave you one. The pain had gone in an instant but the area still looked scraped when you pulled your socks over half of it. After that, the four of you walked towards the dining hall together to have breakfast.

Once you arrived you saw the boys sitting all together on the farther side of the table, along with most people of your year. There was an empty spot next to Remus, who had his head buried in a book, so you sat next to him, Lily plopped down right next to you while Mary and Marlene sat in the front.

“How are you?” asked Remus as Lily talked about the schedule with Beth and another girl from your year, you looked at him confused and he nodded towards your leg “Heard about the fall, how Lily saved your asses,” he explained.

“Oh,” you replied “Well, It’s alright, looks a lot worse than it feels,” you said pointing at your leg, “Mary gave me some cream potion ting to put on wherever the pain comes back.”

“Want some chocolate?” He said, pulling a small bar from his pocket “It always helps when I’m feeling beaten down.”

You nodded, he broke a piece off and handed it over to you. It was rather soft from his body heat, but you preferred soft chocolate to the hard bars so you enjoyed it quite a lot “How are the boys?” You asked him.

“Oh don’t worry about them,” he told you “They’re used to being scraped all over, they said they had lots of fun tho, it was nice seeing Sirius happy about morning flying, he usually complains about James forcing him to wake up early and ruining his beauty sleep.”

“Beauty sleep?” You asked while holding back a laugh “With those words?”

Remus nodded, smiling too “You’d be surprised by the kind of things he says sometimes, with his posh vocabulary. He’s like a princess.”

“Well I mean he does look like one,” you agreed and tensed right after, but Remus only nodded while glancing at Sirius.

Then Lily gently tapped on your forearm, “hurry and finish up,” she said, nodding at your plate, “our first class starts in 15, and we still have to walk there.” You nodded in response and started munching on your toast faster, gulping down your tea along the way to help the bread soften in your mouth.

When everyone was standing up you grabbed your leftover bread, threw some hazelnut spread on it and bent it from corner to corner, to take it along with you. And then you followed everyone towards your first class.

In the classroom, a very small teacher, standing on top of a podium, awaited for you to arrive. He introduced himself as Professor Flitwick, but you quickly realised that he had only done it for you since everyone else already knew him. He mentioned something about how in this class you’d learn wordless magic and started to explain the basic concepts of it. You, as the rest of them, took notes of the things the teacher was saying with your quill.

After Charms, you had Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall, which had been, in all honesty, rather complicated for you. While you were certain McGonagall was a brilliant teacher, you had a hard time grasping the art of turning teapots into ferrets and ferrets into teapots, and that was without even thinking about the fact that down the line, you’d have to transform people into animals too.

Your third class was divination, and while you were relatively good at it, you were never really attracted to the art of predicting the future, since you’d had bad experiences in the past. Divination is only fun if you’re guessing good things that will happen, like who will win the Quidditch Championship or small things like “It’ll rain tomorrow.” But when you guess sad or tragic things, people stop liking it, and you along the process, that’s why you had dropped the course back in your old school. Unfortunately, you couldn’t do that here, since it wasn’t an optional class.

A tall dark skinned professor walked inside the round classroom that stood in the farthest part of the North Tower. He was wearing a long green robe and had a very mysterious aura going around him. “My name is Aurelius Spellman,” he said in a very deep voice “I’ve met some of you before, some of you are in my class for the first time ever, but, be certain, I know each and every single one of you.” You were sitting next to Marlene in that class and you raised your eyebrows at her in a poking manner, she giggled.

“McKinnon, (Y/LN), Would you mind sharing the joke?” He said turning to face you. You instantly sat straighter and shook your head, “I’d like to see if what I’ve heard from Professor Ashbourne is true, she wrote to me all about your talents.” He said, giving you a stern look.

“I have no talent sir,” you lied, Ashbourne had been your divination teacher back in your older school, she had continuously pressured you to pursue your abilities until you predicted something that made you quit it for good. You did not like Professor Ashbourne one bit. “My predictions are rarely any accurate, I’m especially bad with classic fortune telling such as Xylomancy and Arithmancy.”

“What about cards?” He said placing an old Spanish deck on your table.

You took a deep breath and pushed them back “I thought we were going to follow the curriculum,” you said steadily, “Don’t we have to do runes first?”

He raised an eyebrow at you “Miss (Y/LN) is -in fact- correct, 10 points for Gryffindor, this first unit we will be looking at the art of reading ancient runes. Please open your books on page 50. Potter, start reading, will you?” You exhaled the moment he started paying attention to James’ reading instead of you.

At the end of the class, he divided some stacks of runes and handed them over to the students at random. You had to study their meanings and write what the runes would mean when combined with other things. It was really easy since you had already done runes in your old school, but you were thankful you weren’t actually reading someone’s future and had just a random set of runes instead.

Once the class was over you rushed outside as fast as possible, escaping while some girls walked towards the teacher to ask him about the meaning of some runes, you really didn’t want him to call you regarding the whole Ashbourne thing. You had walked down the stairs so fast you didn’t even realise you’d left everyone behind, you leaned back onto a wall and allowed yourself to rest for a bit, heavy breaths becoming softer the more time passed.

Remus spotted you from a couple of steps higher as he walked down, and after noticing your distress decided to approach you. “You all right?” He asked softly, as if not to startle you.

You turned to him and blinked a couple of times before you managed to ground yourself. This was Hogwarts, that was Remus, and you only had to read random runes here, you didn’t need to predict anyone’s future. You nodded in response. “I got wrapped up in my thoughts for a moment,” you excused yourself “I’m not a big fan of divination.”

“I don’t know about your old professor, but Spellman will not pressure you into anything,” he reassured “Besides he already has a star student of his own,” he said nodding towards a small Ravenclaw girl with thick-rimmed glasses who was passing by.

“Sybill?” You asked, raising one of your eyebrows.

Remus nodded, tilting his head towards you as he spoke “last name is Trelawney.”

“Hold up, that Trelawney?”

He nodded again and then smiled “Let’s go get some food, I wanna show you something,” he said and started walking downwards.

You eyed him suspiciously and followed behind. Instead of taking you to the great hall, he took a deviation, walking down a long spiral staircase until you arrived to a long passageway. There seemed to be nothing but a couple of portraits there. Remus approached one of them, used his wand to make a little pear on the painting to move, and all of the sudden, the portrait opened itself like a door would, just like the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

There was a rather narrow and short passageway, and finally, you found the kitchens, an enormous room, about the same size as the Great Hall, with tables positioned in the exact same layout. “The elves use the tables to magically take the food from here to the great hall, it’s right above us,” he whispered as he noticed you observing.

He then kindly asked some of the domestic elves there to pack some food for you. You saw Nimbletwist among them and waved at her. She smiled and waved back. Once the food was ready the elves handed them over to Remus and he thanked them. You followed behind him as he led you outside. When you approached the door of the castle he pulled a small paper plane from the inside pocket of his robe and swished his wand over it. The plane took off towards one of the halls.

You frowned as you looked at the plane fly off “The boys?” You asked.

He nodded, “So they bring dessert.” From then he walked out and guided you through the grounds all the way to the lake.

He pulled out a cloth and extended it over the floor “A picnic?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“It’s a wonderful day,” he said with his arms wide open.

You looked up with a bit of a frown. “It looks like it may rain soon.”

“This is England love, it always looks like it might rain soon,” he said plopping down on top of the cloth and pulling out some of the food the domestic elves had prepared.

Which reminded you of something you wanted to ask “Do they just… give food to whoever asks nicely?” You asked.

“Most of the students don’t know where the kitchens are,” Remus explained. “Peter found them in second year when we were exploring the castle’s secret passages, he befriended the elves, they give us food whenever we ask them now.” He said as he patted the side for you to also sit on the cloth, you complied. Once you sat beside him he pointed at the lake “Whenever I’m feeling down, I like to come here,” he explained “The giant squid comes out every now and then, it’s relaxing to see him swimming around without any worries to perturb him.”

Sitting next to Remus, with the light watery breeze, you thought back to the day you’d met him, and how he’d looked like a pirate from the cover of a spicy novel to you. He still looked as handsome as one, but he had much more depth than just a hot pirate. Layers, you thought, this boy has so many layers. You turned to look at the lake and saw the giant squid he’d been talking about. It floated aimlessly for a minute and then went back under the water, it really was as peaceful as Remus had described.

As you stared at the water you grabbed one of the pork pies and started munching on it “Oh, these are incredible,” you said as you took another bite.

He nodded “They’re Sirius’ favourites, thought you may like them,” he said as he grabbed his own. As the two of you talked about charms and transfiguration James, Sirius and Peter arrived.

Peter, who was carrying a basket in his hands, sat down next to you, and turned to Remus as he grabbed a pork pie, “You brought her to your spot.”

“Yeah, she seemed like she needed it,” Remus replied with a shrug, “you guys brought the desserts?”

Sirius and James were quick to sit in front of the three of you, closing the circle completely. “I got some of those meringue pies you really like,” said Sirius, looking at Remus attentively “and chocolate pudding too.”

James nodded “he used all his charms on the kitchens,” and then he turned to you “By the way, the Gryffindor tryouts will be on Friday at four,” he said giving you a look “I’ll see you there, yeah?” You nodded in response, “But you won’t get any special treatment just because we’re friends,” he said in a warning tone, you laughed.

“Yeah right, of course, the Gryffindor Team Captain can’t have a bias,” you replied with a smile as you gave him a small nudge and finished your pie.

“Which class do we have next?” Asked Peter.

“How do you manage to keep your head in the clouds all the time Wormy?” Asked Sirius as he threw himself back, letting his hair sprawl on the grass, looking absolutely carefree as he took a piece of chocolate fudge to his mouth, looking absolutely prince-like, as always.

“Wormy?” You asked, turning to Peter.

“It’s a long story,” he exhaled, “short for Wormtail.”

“Wormtail? Now that’s even worse!” You said with a frown. “But you all gave weird names to each other right? Sirius is Pads, and…” you turned to Remus “You’re Moony.”

“Padfoot actually,” corrected Sirius as he took another bite of his fudge and then pointed at James “He’s Prongs.”

“Wow, and that’s what you call your friends? I wouldn’t wanna be your enemy…”

Remus chuckled lightly, looking amused and eventually turned to Peter “It’s Herbology?”

“Herbology?” you asked, turning to Remus with a frown.

“Last class of the day too, why?”

“I’m… exceptionally good at getting plants to die,” You explained “Theory and memory, that’s no problem, but keeping them alive… Let’s just say… it’s not among my talents.”

“Wormy’s really good,” said James “And Evans, I’m sure they’d give you a hand.”

“Last year he kept my plant alive,” Sirius said in agreement “And Moony’s, when he was out of it.”

Remus pulled his sleeve up a bit and checked his watch, which let you see he had some more scars up his arms as well, “All right boys, time to get going, we need to be at the greenhouses in 15.”

Sirius took a deep breath and sat back down, joining the rest of you as you put everything back in the basket, Peter held it as the boys guided you to Herbology.

Marlene was the first one to spot you as you were entering the castle, and she called in for Lily, “Hey Lils, she’s not lost, she was with the boys.”

At that moment you left the boys behind and walked towards them, “you were looking for me?” You asked her when you stood in front of her.

“Marlene mentioned how uncomfortable you were at divination, we were waiting for you at the great hall and when you didn’t arrive we started to worry, in my first year I got lost rather often, and some parts of the castle can be very dangerous,” she said stressing the last bit.

You were moved by how caring Lily was of you, you’d met the girl only a day ago and she’d been more worried about you when she’d thought you got lost than your damn parents when you were exploring muggle London for a week, touching your house only for a dash of sleep before disappearing pretty early in the morning, Lily would be a great mother, you thought. “The boys took me for a picnic,” you explained, “that’s why we didn’t go to the great hall.”

She nodded “I should’ve guessed, you’ve gotten chummy with them already.”

“Well, they are fun to hang out with,” you shrugged, “and of course, I already knew Sirius.”

“You did?” She frowned, to which you nodded.

“Met him a couple of years ago on a family vacation,” you explained.

“Hold up! A couple of years ago? Are you talking about Sirius’ vacation in Mexico?”

You nodded, “yeah, why?” Lily started laughing

“Sirius was hung up on you almost the entire year,” Marlene said as she caught up with you “We knew he’d met a mystery girl when Peter accidentally let it out.”

“Oh, Was he?” You said with a cheeky smile “You girls are just giving me more fuel to tease him.”

“Please do! He literally had all the girls crying because he kept ignoring their love letters. Throwing them to the fire and eating the treats he was sent. I was tired of girls asking me to introduce them formally.”

You laughed while shaking your head, “Ahhh.. this is gonna be a fun year.”

Soon enough, you all arrived at your classroom. The teacher introduced himself as Mr. Folly and started explaining some of the curative benefits of Spellvine and how it was especially helpful for potions to treat pain. You noticed Mary was especially attentive in class, you guessed it had to do with her goal of becoming a Mediwitch. While you wrote down all the special needs and care specificities of Spellvine the teacher handed everyone their own seed. It was going to be the course’s objective to grow said plant from scratch.

After class, you went back to the common room and Lily decided to show you the way to the library, so you could do research for homework. Inviting you again to her and Remus’ study group, she said the first session would be on Wednesday. Eventually you went back to the Great Hall and you had dinner with everyone and finally, went back to your shared room.

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A/N: Most Poly!Marauders fics are oneshots, where the relationship between characters is already established, and they're all happy and pleased with it. No issues, no drama, but I WANTED the drama. Couldn't find it, so I set myself up to write the story behind the stablished relationship. I wanted to know how they started dating each other, the jealousy, the will they won't they, because getting into a poly relationship can't be an easy task, and I wanted to explore that story. If you're interested: Welcome to Gilded Constellations!

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jhoneybees · 4 months

Text

Stutter

Lordy lord☝️

Hehehe another fic! This one is a John Carpenter fic and I hope you enjoy it!! I was watching the 'Change of Habit', movie yesterday and thought he's such a nice man😮‍💨 and here's a fun fact about me if anyone is interested is that I have a stutter! The reader in this fic has one as well! It's a pain in the a- @hooked-on-elvis for the tags !!

My brain is finally cooperating with me again but I don't wanna jinx it 🫣 And I'm sorry that a lot of my fics include crying, I just can't get enough of crying comfort fics😭

Characters: John Carpenter X stuttering!reader

Warnings/triggers: Doctor clinics, stuttering, crying

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This week hasn't been going smoothly for you, and it’s all your stutter’s fault. One thing you couldn’t spit words out when a couple of ladies were asking you for directions to the nearest post office and then when you had to call the dentist to make an appointment, it tied your damn words down. It’s absolute torture and you were so fed up with it. You've had this speech impediment for as long as you can remember and everyday you wish it would just disappear, out of your life, away from your worries but you had to learn that it's only fair for each individual to have their own problems in their lives but you still thought about that wish of yours. Sometimes…Well daily it makes you cry thinking about how hard it is to deal with.

Something that helps your stutter though is John, John Carpenter, your beloved boyfriend. He's always been there for you whenever you want to pour all your concerns out, about anything your brain can think of. He’d always listen and you couldn't ask for any other guy than him, he's all you need. Just someone who would look past your evidently painful stutter and just patiently waits for your next words. He knows about your stutter and understands how hard it can be because he often works with people with problems like this and he has told you several times if you want help, he is always there but you just think John has enough on his plate of taking care of himself and his patients so having his girlfriend to take care of as well? In your brain it seems like it's too much for him. Yes John is a doctor and that’s his job to take care of others but oh you couldn't possibly burn your wonderful hard-working boyfriend out, you really couldn't bother him with your problems even though he wouldn’t mind at all and would be happy to help.

One afternoon, as you were sitting on the couch those worrying thoughts were constantly circling your mind and you just wanted them to go away so you decided to go to John's clinic for a visit, to get your mind off things.

As you arrive and open the door into the foyer, you peer through the window of the clinic door to see John talking to a patient, who you think is the last one for the day. Quietly you turn the door knob and make your way inside. John notices you walk in so he says goodbye to the patient and waves a hand to gesture for you to follow him. Taking you to his office for some privacy. “How's my girl doing hm?” he asks as he watches you close the door and hang your purse up on the cloak stand. You hum softly “Good, b-been good” silently sitting down on a chair opposite from his, brushing a strand behind your ear. John smiles, “Busy week?” You shake your head and lift your eyes up to look at his “N-no, p-pretty quiet this week…I-I- I didn't have a lot on my sched-..schedule” nodding his head he hums in response. “Aren't ya lucky… been crazy busy in the clinic this week” he sighs and snickers to himself.

You smile small and giggle slightly “Mhm, a-alot of..of- of sick people?” asking in a quiet tone. John chuckles “injured, mostly injured” nodding as your eyes trail down to the papers on his desk, the troubling thoughts crawling back into your head. “Mhm…” John's smile returns and his eyebrows furrow a little. “Something on your mind honey?” your eyes dart back up into his and you laugh nervously and brush it off “Oh no..N-no just- just tired ‘s all” giving him a small smile before you go back to your zoned out state. With his ankle resting on his knee and leaning back in his chair and his hand wiping under his nose, he watches you quietly. Seeing your eyes sadden and your arms resting at your sides, presuming you were twiddling with your thumbs under the table. “Ya sure you're tired?” Earning a silent nod. He stays silent for a few moments, continuing to watch as you sulk. “You don't look tired..” he states, you breathe in briefly and look at him “John, I am just tir-...” he raises an eyebrow making you sigh. “Fine I'm not tired” your posture slouches. John breathes out “What's ya thinking about baby?” tilting his head to the side, his eyes staying glued to your face. Looking down at your lap, you bite your lip gently “M-my…my s-s-stut-” you huff out being so sick of it, John nodding slowly “Take your time honey” you take in a deep breath and slowly break down the word “stut..ter, stutter”

It’s embarrassing, making tears well up in your eyes and you shyly wipe your nose. your breath trembling, “I-its annoying…it- it really is'' John's face softens and he leans his body closer, resting his arms on the desk. Humming softly, he listens as you tell him your woes. “I'm sick of it…s-so sick of it” your breath hitching quietly before an unexpected sob escapes your mouth.

“Aw honey…” you bury your face into your hands. John gets up from his chair and walks around his desk, shifting your chair to face him as he kneels on one knee. Clicking his tongue and prying your hands away to cup your cheeks. His eyes move from one eye to your other as you pitifully cry.

“I-it’s so annoying! E-every t-time I try to speak..i-it won’t let me!” you sniffle, John nods and hums then a small grin grows on his face “You’re speaking right now” he raises an eyebrow and snickers softly, you gently swat his shoulder “I meant speaking clearly!” you exclaim making John laugh louder “M’sorry I know what you mean darling, I know” his hands rest on your knees, caressing with his thumbs. You wipe your tears away with the back of your hands, sniffling one last time. John smiles “Want a hug?” he asks as he holds his arms out, you accept. Both standing up “ It really is a pain isn’t it?” he sighs, you nod quietly as you rest your head on his chest and wrap your arms around his waist.

John sighs again and kisses the top of your head, rubbing your back soothingly. Staying quiet for a while before John speaks up “Would a lollipop make you feel better?” to which you agree “mhm…” Pulling away, John walks back around to open a drawer to pick out a lollipop for him to walk back, holding it in front of you “Here..” you shyly take the sweet and attempt to open the wrapper, frowning in frustration. John shakes his head and chuckles again “I’ll get it” taking the lollipop out of your hand and with ease, he unwraps it. “Thank you” you say quietly. Pecking your forehead lightly, John admires you with love in his eyes.

“it’ll get better through time”

#elvis #elvis presley #elvis fans #70s elvis #60s elvis #elvis imagine #elvis presley x reader #i love him #change of habit #elvis fanfiction #elvis fandom

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spookymystery67 · 3 months

Text

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN:Oh I hope this chapter is okay. I tried re-reading but my brain would not cooperate. This chapter is sort of a filler chapter of a girls night between Jill and reader, so no Ada appearance. But she does come up in conversation. Enjoy!

Tw: Not sure I have to add these anymore but talk of death, guilt, sex and relationships. I honestly forgot to add warnings so hopefully I didn't trigger anyone in previous chapters. We all know I'm bad at these by now, right?

Chapter 17:

“You’re kidding! That thing was still alive after all of that?” You questioned Jill in disbelief, taking a bite out of your second slice of pizza.

Jill was currently telling you about all that went down for her after you had left the subway station. A large pizza was on the coffee table in front of you as you both sat side by side on the couch of the hotel room, TV mindlessly playing some random, B-list movie in the background that neither of you were paying much attention to.

“Yup. And then the fucker knocked the train off the rails and ended up killing all of the other survivors in the process.” Sadness flashed across her eyes before quickly being replaced with anger. “Well, all except for Nicholai.” Jill said before she violently bit into her slice of pizza.

You tried to think back three years to remember who Nicholai was. “That weird, creepy, Russian dude that was all about self preservation?”

“That’s the one. He blocked the exit and ran off. Not that I really blamed him for it.” Jill trailed off.

“But he could have been less of a dick about it.” You finished for her, attempting a joke to lighten the mood and take her mind off of the guilt she was feeling.

Jill smiled weakly. “Right. And he could have let some of the other survivors leave…”

You put your slice back down onto your plate on the coffee table, before reaching across the couch to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “The train derailed, Jill. It’s a miracle you even lived. It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for what an Umbrella worker and creation did while trying to murder you.”

Jill nodded, still looking unconvinced but wanting to move on. “Right. Anyway, I got out by helicopter with Carlos just before the city was blown up. The bastard ended up dead in the end.”

“Which one? Nicholai or the monster man?” You picked up your pizza once more.

Jill smirked slightly at the question. “Both.” You grinned.

“Nice.” You high fived her and took another bite. In your opinion, both of them got what was coming to them in the end.

Jill sighed as she took another bite. “What about you? What happened after you left? Did you find your friends?”

The question was innocent enough, but still made your heart clench in pain. You suddenly lost your appetite and put down the rest of your pizza slice.

“Um, well, sort of.”

Jill gasped. “Oh no. Don’t tell me they were infected.”

You almost sort of wished they had been. But would it have been any better than the fates that did befall them?

No. It would have been worse. Way worse.

“No, they weren’t infected.” You sighed as you leaned your back against the arm of the couch while you tucked feet under you, staring vacantly at the television. “I did find them. I found Katherine locked away in Irons office and Ben in a cell. I was about to get Ben out, but Irons found us. Held me at gunpoint and locked me up with Ben before forcefully taking Katherine with him…” You trailed off.

This was the subject of your nightmares. Nearly nightly you had bad dreams of Raccoon City. Not of all the zombies or the other freaky mutations you saw, but of what had happened to your friends. This has made your sleep schedule nearly non-existent and caffeine consumption go through the roof. You had relied a little too heavily on sleeping pills for a good while before Ada made you stop and get your shit together. Her current goal was to get you to lay off the coffee, but that was far easier said than done.

“Y/n?” Jill regained your attention and you reluctantly continued.

“Well, there was another monster. One that was kind of similar to the monster that was after you, but not the exact one. It was very adamant on killing every survivor, not just people from STARS. It, uh, it got Ben, before we could get out.” You stuttered.

“How did you get out of the cell?” She asked.

“There was this police officer there as well. New guy named Leon. And very soon after the monster killed Ben, Ada made an appearance.”

“You met Ada in a jail cell?” Jill seemed somewhat amused by that.

“Yes. She was posing as an FBI agent. Anyway, long story short, I got out of the cell and tried to get to Katherine, who was being held in the orphanage by Irons.” You paused. “But I was also too late to save her.”

Jill covered her mouth in shock. “Irons killed her? Oh, god. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You shrugged, wiping away a stray tear that fell. “It is what it is.”

“You don’t feel responsible for it, do you?”

“I mean, I sort of do. I feel like I could have done something differently. That I could have saved them.” You admitted.

“It wasn’t your fault, Y/n.” Jill firmly stated.

You nodded. “And logically I know that. I know everything was completely out of my control and that I’m not to blame for this. Yet I still can’t help it. I still feel guilty.” You paused. “I…still miss my friends.”

Jill looked at you with a look of empathy and understanding, mulling over words in her head before speaking up once more. “I understand how you feel, to a certain extent. I have had people I care about die under my watch and wonder what I could have done differently. Friends in that mansion. The people on that train. Hell, you were there when Brad died.”

“That wasn’t on you.” You interrupted.

Jill shook her head. “The point is, I get it. I go through that guilt and the nightmares and the what ifs on the daily. You have to be careful and not let it eat away at you, because eventually, it will consume you.”

“Hmm, any suggestions on how I don’t let that happen?”

“Having people in your corner to get you through it helps. My friend, Chris, has been a tremendous help to me.” She paused. “And your friend Ada, I think, will be a big help to you.”

You looked at her and nodded. “She has been a great friend these last few years. Helps me get out of my head on bad days…” You trailed off, thinking about how you both have helped each other through those bad days.

Ada never liked to admit when things affected her. It took her a long time to come to terms with the fact that what she saw in Raccoon City had really messed with her too. She had nightmares on occasion. It was something you realized when you both stumbled upon each other in the kitchen for a cup of coffee in the dead of night for the sixth time in one month. It took a while for you to convince Ada to talk about it, just as she had done for you. Eventually, you had both become a regular comfort to one another.

“Speaking of Ada, are you sure there isn’t something more going on there?” Jill asked, changing the subject.

You startled from the sudden change of subject. “Hmm? I’m sure. I’d know if we were dating.”

Jill huffed an amused laugh and smirked. “You wouldn’t necessarily have to be dating. It could be something… casual.”

Your brows furrow. “Casual? What do you mean?”

She laughed harder this time. “Do I have to spell it out for you, Y/n? Casual sex. A friend with benefits, that type of thing. It’s not as uncommon as you might think.”

You are extremely confused and flustered by this turn of conversation. “Ha. Yeah, I don’t think I am a ‘friend with benefits’ type of person, Jill. Why do you ask, anyway?”

“I don’t know. You two seem really close is all. I could sense some tension back at the charity event. And it felt like Ada was ready to slit my throat the moment I got a little too close to you.” Jill studied your confused face. “She was jealous. Couldn’t you tell?”

“Jealous? Jealous of what?”

“Of me. Of the way we interacted. She only relaxed briefly when she had your full attention. You really didn’t notice?”

Now that you think about it, you did notice she was very off tonight. Her flirting was a little over the top and her careless demeanor was a little too forced to be genuine. But you hadn’t assumed that her behavior was because of jealousy. Especially over you.

“Jealous?” You questioned again in disbelief.

Jill nodded seriously, before turning her attention to another slice of cool pizza. “Jealous. She clearly has some sort of feelings for you.”

Ada? Had feelings for you? You weren’t entirely convinced. Yes, you cared for each other. And you had definitely developed more of a crush on her over the years, though that was a thought you never entertained due to feeling that nothing would ever come of it. Why potentially ruin a good thing with your one sided feelings?

“I don’t think she likes me that way.” You finally said, not wanting to acknowledge the hurt you felt from that statement. It would never be.

Now it was Jill’s turn to look at you in disbelief. “And why not? You’re gorgeous, clever, and badass all in one package. Not to mention you are one of the kindest people I have met and, in my opinion, you are extremely easy to get along with. Hell, I would go for you if only I had the chance to get to know you a little longer.”

The seriousness of that statement baffled you. You believed nothing of what she just said about you. Badass? You could barely climb a set of stairs with full confidence that you won’t trip. The fact you survived this long was by pure luck, and Ada. You would have been arrested or murdered by now without her.

“Hmm, guess you dodged a bullet.” You joked weakly. Jill’s look of disbelief turned into one of frustration.

“Who hurt you? Seriously, I don’t condone thoughtless murder, but give me a name and it’s done.” You snorted as she put her pizza down and scooted a little closer to you, placing a hand on your arm to gain your full attention. “Y/n, everything I said was true. I’m not pulling your leg. You’re awesome and Ada likes you. It was clear as day to me the moment I stepped foot into that room. And the only reason I’m not kissing you right now is because I respect the woman and her feelings. Even though I don’t know her, or you that well I suppose, I know you two would be great together. You are great together. Great for each other.” Jill ranted, looking you straight in the eye the entire time.

You hesitated, “You really think she would be with me if I asked?”

“I know she will.“ Jill’s smile widened. “And if she won’t, I will.” She joked, making you roar a laugh.

“Shut up.” You grabbed a pillow from behind you and weakly whacked her with it. She laughed and yanked it from your hands, hitting you with it just as gently before tossing it away.

“Now, when you get back to her, I want you to promise me that you will confess your feelings. I’m serious. I don’t want you both pining for each other for another three years. You deserve happiness, Y/n.” Jill said, pointing at you with a stern expression.

You’ve never liked someone as much as you liked Ada before. You have never admitted to having feelings to anyone either. I mean, what could go wrong? You could only be ruthlessly turned down and have to live with the embarrassment for the rest of your life, never to be able to admit your feelings to anyone ever again.

You nodded. “Right, yeah. I’ll do it. I just hope you’re right.”

“Oh I know I am.”

#ada wong #resident evil #ada wong x reader #resident evil x reader #jill valentine #claire redfield #leon kennedy #raccoon city

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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bro your pepperman and peppino comic hasn’t left my brain since i saw it. i just love the dynamic of a ginormous freak and peppino being both intimidated and flustered.. bro i wish there was more of those two

I should draw them some more bc i really like the dynamic ive written for them 😊 For u anon, i will share some minor (silly) thoughts ive had about them

-Pepperman absolutely has a little baby crush on this man. TEENY TINY. The kind of crush that means nothing- hes a little 💅🏾 and hes an artist like ur gonna be a little gay w all of the friends you make; thats just the way it goes 😭 Like Peppino is sooooo handsome and soooo strong and he can cook and hes smart and he doesnt stand down when confronted (he LOVES this the most). So people in Peppermans Rich Friend circle notice the complete 180 his personality does when Peppino is invited to outings. Its not that Pepperman is being weird and shallow or fake, its that Peppino is probably his First Friend that wasnt rich and snobbish in anyway. Some part of him really REALLY wants to impress Peppino and it makes him act a little ‘foolish’ heehee 😊

-Following up on this, Pepperman visits the pizzeria out of the blue like MONTHS after he first invites Peppino out for the art sessions and like okay maybe they are friends MAYBE…but like he is still kind of anxious bc the last time he came here he almost got his skinned so part of him is like ‘maybe hes only amicable bc feels obligated to cooperate within the walls of my studio…’ BUT he shuffles awkwardly into the shop and Peppino not only waves but SMILES at him while hes attending to a customer and Pepperman is like ‘HEEEHEEUHEEHOOO………….’

-Peppermans art is worth a fortune; he is very well respected in the art world and any pieces hes made (including self portraits) are absolutely stunning. His abstract art is as beautiful as his realism; auctioning them off and doing occasional commission work is how hes acquired most of his wealth. Because of this, it is a MASSIVE show of good faith and comradery that Pepperman will often gift art to Peppino. Unfortunately, Peppino will not accept statues or huge marble sculptures BUT Pepperman is delighted to see Peppino accept paintings and mini sculptures, even if he LOOKS a bit confused about it 😭

-SO… when Pepperman comes by the shop some weeks later, he is overwhelmingly excited to see one of his pieces hung up on the walls. The feeling of having his art fawned over in an art exhibit does not even BEGIN to compare to the excitement of seeing his art being displayed in this common mans shop. Its a portrait of Peppino, stylized, w some funky lookin colors. Nothing fancy or particularly evocative. Just. Peppino! Looking a bit wistful with colors winding around him.

Even Peppino is like (snrk) “Dont you have your fancy arts in a museum or something? Dont see the big deal ‘bout ‘a this.” But its HUGE its like…suddenly it is not just his muse entertaining his artistic vision…his muse VALUES his artistic vision………..it makes him SO happy. He thinks about it for days. Its like; he had no idea that this is what it felt like to have…inspiration and motivation from an Outside source. His art, while breathtaking, felt like it lacked something…Rich. Years and years of self reflection and introspection and Never expanding his horizons, never realizing he was Capable of expanding his horizons until now…he is just a lucky little pepper 🫑🌶✨

#answered #chattin #long post #peppino #pepperman #this is also why i refuse to make human designs for him and vigi bc otherwise i will Not be normal 😭😭😭#also i did not add this but i think it helps to know that pepperman is-#-younger than peppino. hes like. it is funny to try and age a fucking pepper #but comparitively he is like early to mid 30s #so hes technically a rich brat in peppinos eyes; just like the noise #but pepperman is more eccentric than bratty….#he IS a dick and hes brash and a bully and he dangles money over peoples heads #at least #he USED to #but peppino was a man with a failing business and his house on the line #and saddled w debt #and when given the opportunity to become RICH beyond his comprehension #he said ‘no. i want this shop. i worked for this shop and i fought for this shop. im not going to give it up after all that’#and he just. kept working! he comes to work early in the morning and he leaves right as the sun is setting #and he works on his expenses and utilities in his small little office in the back of his shop. hes just. some guy. who owns a pizza shop #and something about that like FLIPPED a switch in peppermans brain #and now hes a little obsessed…#well he was a little obsessed after he got his ass handed to him on a platter but now its a bit less Crazed and alot more Fond #hes fawning a little bit and he has no idea its happening #peppino knows tho heehee #but its sweet its not serious its just admiration and peppino can deal w that 😊

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comicaurora · 1 year

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Hey I'm getting into DnD, do you have any podcast or series of a DnD campaign to recommend? I know there is critical role, but wich one of those should i start with? Is there a better beginning than critical role? I am lost here, please help

This is gonna very much depend on your personal preferences and attention span! I recommend sampling a range of DnD podcasts to find your personal tolerances and what parts appeal to you. I'm not the most widely-read person in this space because frankly most DnD podcasts are on too slow a boil for my attention span, but I've got a few you could check out-

Critical Role is the biggest and most well-known one for sure, but pacing wise I personally can't get through it. I love it in concept, but it's slow enough and huge enough that my brain zones out in the downtime and I lose track of important details when things speed up again. I think my first successful exposure to it was a brisk two-hour video that's just a Best Moments Of Grog compilation. That's also why I've been really liking The Legend Of Vox Machina, which keeps all the biggest and best moments but paces them like an actual story instead of a game. It's not representative of the experience of playing a TTRPG, but it is a lot of fun.

I personally enjoy limited-run miniseries a lot more, because they work better for my limited attention span, and on the critical role front that means I recommend EXU Calamity, a Doomed Heroes far-distant prequel to the modern setting of CR. Only four four-hour episodes and it's on a bit of a slow boil for the first three, but because everybody involved knows how the story's going to end, there's an endless drip of dramatic tension along the way. The DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, is going to show up a lot more on this list.

On the subject of short miniseries DM'd by Brennan Lee Mulligan, Escape From The Bloodkeep is my personal favorite and the one I revisit the most. Six two-hour episodes, deeply unhinged and intrinsically comedic as it's a full-series parody of Lord of the Rings. I recommend it for a lot of reasons, not least of which being that Matt Mercer, who is an excellent DM, gets to play, and his playstyle is a great example of how to roll with the punches and the dice, since his extremely menacing nazghul captain is afflicted by a string of hilarious failures and he kind of just owns it, to the point where his character arc becomes accepting his worth as an individual with the power of friendship. It's a great example of not taking yourself or your character too seriously, which is a vital skill for players to learn in order to handle the whims of the dice sometimes (or often) not cooperating with your narrative wishes. If CR isn't working for you but you're interested in what you can pick up from this extremely talented DM, this is a good way to get that!

Dimension 20 (Collegehumor's DnD branch) has several series I really like, most of them DM'd by Brennan Lee Mulligan again. His DMing style really works for me, and he takes an approach to pacing that I quite like, so they're generally a safe bet for me. One I categorically recommend is The Unsleeping City, an urban fantasy DnD game set in New York City. This one is 19 two-hour episodes, so longer than the other miniseries but still much shorter than CR, and it can give you a bit of a sampler for (a) the genrebending you can do with DnD and (b) a longer-form story with a less rigidly determined finale than the previous examples. Brennan's DM style is very cool, and he puts an unusual amount of focus on characters getting solo vignettes, which is sometimes considered a bit gauche in DM circles because it means the other players don't have a whole lot to do during those solo conversations, but it works for him and his players and the effect is very cinematic!

But if you want to see a different DM's style in the same space, A Court Of Fey And Flowers is run by Aabria Iyengar, one of the EXU Calamity players, and she has a very different but also cinematic DMing style! The game is also a hybridization of DnD and a different system for facilitating Jane Austen romances, which is dope. Only the first episode is up on Youtube, but that should probably be enough to let you determine if you want to check out more.

I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention the two DnD Actual-Plays I'm in, Rolling With Difficulty and Heart of Elynthi. Rolling with Difficulty is subdivided into three seasons of 8-10 four-hour episodes each, with each season having one overarching plot or threat but mostly being composed of episodic adventures - it's a Planescape series, meaning most episodes take us to a completely new plane of existence to deal with its unique geometry, fun denizens and wacky threats. It's also a lot more edited than some actual-play podcasts, with an effort to avoid the slow parts and the dice-rolling, mental math, "what am I gonna do this round," etc. Heart of Elynthi is an ongoing series that's only about five or six episodes in, with an overarching mystery in the background and a "collect the things to save the world" plotline in the foreground. It also streams new episodes on Twitch on (some) Wednesday afternoons, so if you'd benefit from a live chat to hang out and talk with during games, that might be worth checking out to see if you like it! Elynthi also has had some pretty cool behind-the-curtain stuff about how the players can handle in-character disagreements without them turning into IRL fights, which is something I don't think I've ever seen another DnD actual-play explicitly unpack but is also extremely important for players to consider, so that's fun.

#asks #not aurora #media recs

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starheirxero · 11 days

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OH GOD, EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING, EVERYTHING'S GOING ON-

I AM SCREAMING, KICKING, CRYING, RUNNING UP MY WALLS, DRAMATICALLY THROWING MYSELF ON THE GROUND AND WAILING-

FIRST SAMS FUCKING PUNCHES AND KNOCKS ME TO THE GROUND, AND THEN MGAFS GIVES ME THE FINISHING BLOW- FUCK EVERYTHING-

OH GOD, WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN-

First of all, we finally reunited with old Moon…BY GOD, DID I MISS THIS SNARKY BASTARD- I am so happy, to see him again!!! He's so nonchalant and blunt, especially towards people outside of his family- It makes me so nostalgic!! His similarlities to Eclipse are clearer than ever, honestly!

Everything about it just makes me so emotional, I can't even begin to describe it-

He's on that same old beach where he gave up his life, the same old beach where he showed empathy and compassion more than ever before, the same damn old beach where he was the more selfless than he'd ever been- It is making me sick to my stomach/pos

He still loathes himself so much, still looks down on himself and his mistakes. He has never been able to let go of it, he'll always hold on to the mistakes he made. One of these mistakes is leaving a part of his code behind, which in turn created Eclipse. His hatred for him comes from the hatred of himself, because Eclipse is the embodiment of everything he hated in himself.

But even though he hates himself, even though he buried himself underneath a mountain of mistakes, he will never regret protecting his family. He has always been a big brother, always been a protector, no matter what! Even after everything, they are the only thing on his mind. I'm going to fucking cry, man-

God, he adores them so much! Everytime he talked about them, I teared up!

He adores and treasures Sun with all of his heart, and only wishes for him to be safe and sound and happy! He knows his brother, knows he's blaming himself, and wants so badly to put a stop to it! But he can't, because that would involve a conversation, and he cannot bare to hurt him more than he already has.

He wants to thank Monty, who has been his emotional support, his best friend. Old Moon is anti-social, apathetic towards anyone outside of his family, even another version of himself, yet Monty got through to him, time and time again. Monty, in their own right, was family too! The two of them always got each other out of the gutter.

God, when he talked about Lunar and Earth, I legit started to cry a little-

He always wanted a sister. He always wanted a little brother. He wished he could've met them, wished he could've gotten to know them, wished to have loved them as much as he loved Sun!

He did know Lunar, but he never had the chance to truly get to know them. Everything he said about them is honestly just so sweet, and shows old Moon beyond his shell.

They were just a kid in a shitty situation, made with a purpose they never wanted.

Old Moon has a hard time caring for others, yet he looked at this child, who needed help and guidance, and took them underneath his wing without hesitation. Tragically, though, he always kept his distance. I don't think, he quite saw, how much they looked up to him. He always kept them at arms length, because he had hurt one brother, and was afraid to hurt another, afraid to open his heart. Yet, despite this distance, he would've ripped Eclipse apart for what he did, without mercy.

God, I can only imagine what his dynamic with everyone would've been like, especially with Earth, who is so incredibly different from him!

Old Moon is such an intriguing character to look at! Especially with how obviously different he is from New Moon!

I want to analyze him so bad, but my brain just won't cooperate👀

I'm really glad, New Moon got his reassurance though, and even learned from Old Moon, it seems!

Now, as for MGAFS….NO, GOD NO, PLEASE EVERYTHING BUT THIS-

THEY WEREN'T JUST SEPARATED- THEY WERE PERMANENTLY TORN APART, NEVER TO REUNITE AGAIN- THEY CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS-

BLOODMOON'S REACTION TO HIS BROTHER'S DEATH- HE TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE, BUT THE MOMENT THEY TRIED TO LEAVE, HE STARTED YELLING- HE HAS NEVER BEEN ALONE, ALWAYS ONE HALF OF A WHOLE. NOW HIS OTHER HALF IS GONE, AND HE IS ALONE, AND HE WILL NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN-

I ALSO READ YOUR INTERPRETATION OF BLOODMOON'S LAST LINE, AND IT HAS BROKEN ME- THEY COULD'VE BEEN GOOD. THEY COULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS. THEY JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE CHANGED, DIDN'T WANT TO BE LIKED AS SOMEONE THEY'RE NOT. THEY JUST WANTED TO BE THEMSELF, YET THEY NEVER WOULD'VE BEEN ACCEPTED THAT WAY-

XERO, WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME-

-Stardust

YESSSSSYESYEYSES I DIDN'T TALK MUCH ABT THE TSAMS EP BC I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY MGAFS BUT EVERYTHING U SAID FOR REAL !!!!!! THE BEACH AND THE CONVO THEY HAD AND AAUAGGGHH

I was honestly so worried that there was going to be a sudden change in how Old Moon acted but seeing him just still wholeheartedly be him made me experience sooo many emotions. Like u said, the similarities between him and Eclipse are just wholly on display and it's like,, oh yea! you are who he stems from!

AND YEAH ALL HIS SENTIMENTS ABT MONTY + SUN + THE BROTHER N SISTER HE NEVER GOT TO KNOW. BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!! For how little people he cared about, he made up for in caring about that small handful of people with his whole entire soul, even if that care could be convoluted and confusing and ultimately hurtful, he never wanted it to be like that. He just wanted the best :(

AND THEN THE LAST MESSAGE FOR NEW MOON AUGHHH I CAN'T EVEN. DIES EVERYWHEREEEE

AND THEN MGAFS. FUCK. I KNOWWWW I KNOW I KNOW IT FUCKED ME UP SO BADDD. THE FINAL BLOODMOON'S DESPERATE YELLING AT THE END FUCKED ME UP EVEN WORSE TO TOP IT ALL OFF I CAN'T EVENNNN.

AND SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU THEY COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO ACCOMMODATE FOR IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!! THEY WANTED CONTROL OVER THE ONE THING THAT IMPACTS THEM THE MOST, OF COURSE THEY WOULD HAVE DENIED ANYTHING ELSE!!!! THEY COULD HAVE HAD IT ALLLLL AAAAOAUHGHHHH

#asks #anon #stardust anon #STARTS PUNCHING A WALL AND SOUNG BACKFLIPS AND BURSTING INTO TEARS #IT ALL MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL UGH. HELL EARTH EVERYWHERE FOREVERRRRR #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #monty gator and foxy show #the monty gator and foxy show #mgafs #tsams spoilers #sams spoilers #mgafs spoilers #long post #caps

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obrother1976 · 7 months

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can u make like. ur top 10 books. freak books. anything. kisses your brain

sure!! these r not gonna be ranked bc god knows i could never choose between them & also im gonna be annoying and ramble a bit about every one

death in venice by thomas mann (classic. but its so rich w metaphors and symbolism. if you do read it, i'd recommend reading "the uses of myth in death in venice" by isadore traschen afterwards, bc it does a great job explaining all the freudian allegories and mythological symbolism and u'll literally be tearing ur hair out afterwards over how brilliant thomas mann was)

the carnivorous lamb by agustín gómez-arcos (idc that i've already talked about this a gajillion times on here. its literally the best book i've ever read. i'll forever be obsessed and i wish there was literally anything that could ever hit as hard as this did. if u read it, anon (if u havent already) dont go through the carnivorous lamb tag on here bc u need to experience this without any big prior knowledge. trust me)

erotism: death and sensuality by george bataille (ik im just listing the classics atp. but how could i ever leave that one out. this ones a lot and depending on how into bataille & philosophy in general u are it could be too much. but if u havent already read this one anon, just read the introduction. trust me ure gonna loose it from that alone)

gemini by michel tournier (this one... took me ages to get through it on my first read bc of the way its written, but it was so worth it. not even gonna say much about this one - its basically like if twins by bari wood was good lmao)

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin, 1932-1934 (or every anais nin diary ever in general, but this one especially. there was just no one that got it quite like she did)

indecent theology: theological perversions in sex, gender and politics by marcella althaus-reid (sorry for literally recommending theory. im pretty sure u were asking for fiction lol, but this (& althaus-reid in general) is everything to me. if u've any interest whatsoever in theology u should check this one out)

the sluts by dennis cooper (slightly controversial opinion i think? not that the book itself is controversial, just that dennis cooper is very hit and miss at times. this book tho, definite hit. its so intense and convoluted and i loved every second of it. read this before death and sensuality and u're guaranteed to think of nothing else for at least a month)

querelle of brest by jean genet ("those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!". kind of a classic since theres also the fassbinder movie but i prefer the book tbh. its been a while since i've read it but it'll forever be in my favourites)

crash by j.g. ballard (yeah ik we've all seen crash but i need more ppl to read the book. hold on actually i need to insert one of my favourite bits from it here:

Reaching through the fractured windshields and passenger windows around me, I marked my semen on the oily instrument panels and binnacles, touching these wound areas at their most deformed points.)

ada, or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov (one of the most beautiful books i've ever read. probably not the most helpful recommendation bc im pretty sure its a classic but i cant not mention it.)

also some bonus recommendations of books that didnt make the list bc they're either not freak books or bc i havent read them yet:

christopher and his kind by christopher isherwood (not a freak book. not even remotely. but will forever have a special place in my heart.)

the sparrow by maria doria russell (read this one anon!!! this would be on the list, but im not fully finished w it yet so i cant officially put it in my top 10 yet)

exquisite corpse by poppy z. brite (havent read that one yet but its on my list!!)

autobiography of red by anne carson (not a freak book. beautifully written, a work of art really)

as meat loves salt by maria mccann (havent read that one yet. hoping its as good as everyone says)

skagboys by irvine welsh (one thing about me is that i'll always find a way to mention the trainspotting books)

#u guys r feeding my ego big time w these media asks.#i love doing lists ngl. just waiting patiently until the 'top 10 favourite academic papers?' ask drops lmao #also mwah <3 @ u anon. kissing u for that ask #oh also anon: if u havent already read carnivorous lamb and decide to check it out - u neeeed to listen to velvet voices by townes van zand #while reading it. theres no bigger reason behind that. its just that i listened to it on loop while reading #and that was literally a spiritual experience #ask

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anantaru · 5 months

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I wasn't too overly hyped about Natlan at first. It was kinda the nation I glanced over and didn't really think about that much. Kinda just meh status in my brain's genshin nation priority list. But then I finished the current archon quest and we got Neuv talking about dragons integrated into human society and in cooperation with humans, and fuck yeah gimme that shit. If I don't get to see people riding dragons into battle, I am going to be devastated. Either way, it's now bumped its way up my favorite nation list a few spots just from that, and we haven't even seen it yet. So fucking excited for it now.

the moment neuvillette said "the captain" i twirled my hair n giggled 🤭 but i would've wished he could've said at least ONE THING about the pyro archon or at least why no one seems to leave natlan ever 🧍🏻‍♀️💓

#˚✩彡 anon'#꒰୨ 𖤐 ୧꒱ answered'

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blues824 · 1 year

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could you do the obey me brothers with a mc who hasnt celebrated christmas for a long time so they completely brushed it off, but end up really excited and kind of teary eyed at seeing all the brothers celebrating with them?

sorry if this is worded in a confusing way, my brain is scrambled rn💀

Don’t even worry, fam. We all got those days. If I don’t get another request from you, then I wish you a Merry Christmas!

Lucifer

He knows all about Christmas and how it’s a big deal in the human world. He’s seen the huge Christmas Tree in Time Square (bro I wish). He’s witnessed all the traditions for it as well. What he’s surprised about is that you don’t give it any thought.

So what does he do? He asks you about it, of course! You explain that you haven’t really celebrated it in a while, so you just treated it like any other winter day. You didn’t give it much thought, but Lucifer was scheming and planning.

He got Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Mephistopheles, Thirteen, Raphael, and his brothers on board. They were all going to surprise you with a Christmas party. They all agreed that you deserved it with all your hard work, after all.

So they all got to work. The oldest brother was impressed with everyone’s cooperation on this project, but he wasn’t gonna question or complain. He was the one that kept you out of the house all day as the others set the surprise up. He treated you to a nice lunch

When you came back, he opened the door for you. Upon that happening, you were attacked with the smell of gingerbread and peppermint. The house was completely decked out in decorations. Lucifer could feel his heart swell with pride as he heard you gasp out of pure shock and amazement, tears of joy leaking from your gorgeous eyes.

You went to hug the living daylights out of everyone. When everyone explained that it was your beloved Avatar of Pride’s idea to surprise you, you ran into his arms and pulled him into a kiss. Solomon used some magic to levitate some mistletoe over the both of you, and Asmo got the money shot. It would be a Christmas you could never forget.

Mammon

He has seen it all over Devilgram. Everyone was getting holiday pictures of their significant other or their families, and he can’t say that he wasn’t at least a tad bit jealous. Then he realized: you didn’t show any hype towards the holiday.

As a result, he decides that he’s gonna go out and buy you a bunch of presents. Whether you aren’t as enthusiastic or just had a bad experience, he’s gonna try and make this Christmas one you will remember forever.

He asks all of his brothers to get you to partake in typical Christmas activities. Sure, he wishes he was the one to build the gingerbread houses or help decorate the tree, but he put in the special request that he be the one to pick you up so you could put the star on the tree.

He had Asmo sending him half-hour updates on how you were doing. He grew a bit worried when he was receiving the messages that you looked a bit more downcast than usual. He knew that he had to hurry to get back to you.

Once he gets back to the HoL, he texts you and tells you to come outside. Once you open the door, you are met with your Avatar of Greed. He has the smuggest grin as he gives you some bags from a variety of different stores. You set them down and jumped into his arms, giving him a kiss.

While still carrying you, he marches you over to the tree, where he has to put you down and turn you around so that you are also facing the evergreen fir. He hands you the star, and he picks you up. You hold the tree in place as you put the star on the tree, where he looks up and sees that tears are streaming down your face and you are smiling.

Leviathan

Devilgram, Deviltube, even his freaking Email was flooded with Christmas deals on anime merchandise. He already bought the both of you a bunch of gifts, but he still felt as if something was missing. He realized that while he did buy you stuff, nothing was unique.

So he got to work. Night and day, he was working on his most precious and valuable present for you. You see, it was a romance simulator where you and he were the main love interests. There was only one ending, the ending where you both get so far in the relationship that he gets down on one knee on Christmas.

However, he knew that it would take you a while to get to that point. What he forgot about was that while he was working on this, he was neglecting you. You, as a result, grew sadder and sadder.

Once he deems it finished, he texts you to come to his room. When he sees that you were upset because of him, he feels horrible. On the plus side, he got you merch and made you a game that you should play… like right now.

He will have you sitting on his lap while you play. Please don’t look at his face, otherwise his already red face will become even redder. He loves seeing your surprise at the insane graphics and the great storyline.

He gets worried when tears start to fall out of your eyes. He asks you if you don’t like the gifts, but then you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a very long kiss. It took him a few minutes to actually reciprocate, but he was happy with this unexpected outcome.

Satan

Has most definitely read classic novels that detail family holiday celebrations, and most definitely wants to recreate the most romantic ones with you. He most definitely takes you out and gets a scope of the area.

He took you ice skating, which was quite the experience. You see, depending on your level of experience you both either danced on the rink with each other or he had your hands in his, leading you while also keeping you stable.

At one book store you both entered, the owner had put a branch of mistletoe over the door post. You and Satan both looked up and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He made sure to close the door behind you.

What you didn’t know is that he knew what he was doing. Asmodeus was following you both, making sure to get the best pictures he could of the two of you in the moment rather than pausing it to preserve a smiling picture.

His plan was to get the film developed and make you a picture book that he has written, where under each picture, there was a reason why he loved you. 31 reasons, to be exact. For each of the days of December.

When he gave it to you at the end of the day on a bench, he grew a bit worried when he saw tears falling from your eyes. Then you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him into a passionate kiss. He was more than willing to continue, but considering you were out in public, he pulled away after a few seconds. You laid your head on his shoulder and you both just basked in each other’s company.

Asmodeus

He would take you to those places that have the Christmas themed photo backgrounds and take a whole bunch of pictures to post on his Devilgram. He even just sneaks some in-the-moment pictures to keep for himself. His camera roll is filled with photos of you.

Then he took you on a shopping spree. A lot of the shelves were empty because of other demons taking advantage of the Christmas discounts, but Asmo had already purchased all of your Christmas gifts. One of the cashiers had told you that you both make a cute couple.

You both made many memories that day. You spent it laughing and loving, and that’s how Asmo prefers it. So when you say that you haven’t celebrated Christmas in a long time, he was astonished. He’s a party animal, so he had the Shocked Pickachu face.

Once you both went back to the House of Lamentation, he sat you down in the living room and went to his room to retrieve your gifts from under his bed. He got you a lot of stuff that he wrapped in very fancy and elegant wrapping paper. But he knew which one he would give you first.

Going back to the living room, he placed the item in your lap. It was a teddy bear that was holding a heart, with ‘I love you, Y/N’ stitched into it. It was a simple gift, but to know that he went through the trouble of stitching the message…

He grew panicked when he saw the tears falling. However, every ounce of fear that he felt was washed away when you pulled him into a big hug. You uttered a small thank you through sniffles and he understood that they were tears of joy.

Beelzebub

Would love to spend the day in the kitchen with you. Have you ever heard the phrase, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? Well, this is proved true with this guy. He would watch you bake cookies and would help you decorate them.

Whenever he looks at you, he has hearts in his eyes. He’s just so down bad for you. He also loves when you smile, so he’ll swipe some icing on your nose. That starts an icing war between the two of you, which ends up in the two of you spending 30 minutes cleaning.

When you both went to the living room to relax, he pulled you close to him and started cuddling the heck out of you. As you were cuddling, you both conversed about how you both celebrated the holidays in years past.

He was a bit shocked when you say you didn’t really celebrate for a long time. He then remembered that you said it in passing a little bit ago. He also remembered that he got you a couple of gifts while he was out eating, so he carried you to his room.

There, he handed you your presents one by one. They weren’t anything big, but they were sentimentally valuable. First was a pair of matching bracelets so that you’re always connected somehow. Next was a bunch of snacks he purchased. As he handed you the presents, he noticed that your hand started to shake.

He looked into your face and saw that you were on the verge of crying. He was about to ask what was wrong before you placed your hands on the sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss. He was taken by surprise, to say the least, but melted into it after a second.

Belphegor

Doesn’t want to go anywhere. He would rather sleep the day away with you. However, humans need food so he walks to the kitchen with you. Like Beel, he would watch as you made some Christmas themed meal for the both of you.

Before, he never knew how Lilith could love such a weak being. However, he changed. Now he’s staring at you with a lovesick gaze and grin, thanking the stars for letting him be this lucky. He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your torso, grateful to have you in his life.

You lean back in his grasp, and you both are just talking about anything and everything that came to mind in the moment. Every few seconds, you turn your head and give him a kiss. If anyone walked in, they would walk out so as to not disturb this moment.

When you say that it’s been a while since you’ve celebrated the holiday season, he has a subtle smirk. You see, he already knows because he’s heard you say it before. He’s prepared for this months in advance.

He had a little space on a hill all set up for a picnic under the stars. He had little fairy lights wrapped around the trees to give off a fair amount of light. But he grew panicked when you started crying but you just pulled him into a tight embrace, whispering a small thank you.

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