#i just hope no one gets hurt

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[bullagit]

due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc” 

like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park

i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character

(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #aziraphale IS in fact a dark horse #he is consistently dismissed and underestimated and overlooked bc of how he presents himself! #even crowley does this with him (not in any sort of malicious way its a sense of protectiveness) #(i am not here to get into how aziraphale n crowley treat each other in ways that are unintentionally hurtful id be here forever lmao) #the point is that aziraphale is smart and tbh he knows more about how shitty heavens treatment has been the past few thousand year?? #since he's. he's been the one getting treated badly. that whole time. #anyway theyre both right theyre both wrong and end of the day i just. #i hate the concept of a s3 that equates softness and kindness with being wrong and naive and dumb etc #it does not feel very good omens to me idk man #so i hope that's not where it goes

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i saw them in the cookbook pages and Immediately thought of this meme:

#barnaby: this is so nice. just me and my buddy whipping up a tasty treat #wally: *having six simultaneous crises* #anyway. huh? #this was a pain to scribble and i Dont Know Why #i had to redraw barnaby's face literally five times #but im trying to Expand my skillset by attempting more backgrounds #or background adjacent things... Props! #im very proud of the counter & flower vase off to the side! #and uh. Filters! those as well. i wanted to make this look somewhat like its aged... #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #man. these two. squeezes them #halloween update made me love them all the more #name a better pair of best friendsssss you canttttttt #they are Top Tier and i hope they get torn apart one way or another #you see i live for the drama the pain the agony the devastation #i see my favorites and i want them to Hurt. #anyway thinking about them baking together melts my stony heart #theyre bonding 🥺 #oh man why is that emoji So Fucking Detailed on my laptop. its scaring me. kill it kill it kill it

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2 thoughts

you know who i just remembered ALSO has long hair? Vlad. Vlad Masters. Danny's worst enemy and biggest pain in the ass ever since he sent those vulture ghosts after his fucking dAD. Danny having long hair would make Vlad so inSUFFERABLE. Like look!! Proof that you are much better off as MY son. We have matching hair lengths! Come be my son! I will make you a halfa like me and we will become powerful allies together!

Danny almost chops it off out of spite. He ends up not doing it because he likes his hair long, actually, very much so and he's not growing it out again just because you're crazy! He's attempted to take a pair of scissors to Vlad's hair though -- THAT was a fight that got ugly. Danny's go-to threat whenever he sees him after that is that he's going to chop off vlad's hair when he's not looking - just you watch, Masters. He'll do it. HE'LL DO IT.

And if Danny wasn't keeping it a tight secret, he'd turn around and taunt Vlad about being a) a clone and b) a clone of BRUCE WAYNE. he'd say stuff like:

"How's it feel knowing my parents cloned a man richer than you"

"you're just mad that bruce wayne is more my dad than you'll ever be!"

"it could've been you that my parents accidentally cloned instead of Wayne, but instead you fucked off for twenty years instead!"

but also its a constant question Danny asks himself how he and no one else ever figured it out sooner that he was a clone. He doesn't understand how Vlad of all people didn't realize it when he went to college with the man with his parents and was also stinking rich, before remembering that he doubts Vlad remembers anyone who wasn't his parents in college, and has been a rich, recluse loser this entire time.

its a good thing though, danny's pretty sure vlad would attempt a hit on the man if he found out out of pure jealousy and indignant rage. And then he'd get his ass beat by Batman and his army of children.

All in all, Dany is a pure menace towards Vlad whenever he gets the chance, as is normal, and then Vlad's suffering gets doubled after he makes Ellie - of which she is even worse than Danny because she's the halfa that Danny Is NOt and thus has the powers to break into his house easy peasy and wreck shit. She steals his obsidian black card and goes on a shopping spree. This is a regular occurrence.

(and for anyone who isn't aware - Ellie is the same age as Danny in clone^2 bc i thought it'd be fun)

And then it gets tripled once Damian joins the family and gets caught up to speed on all of Vlad's tomfoolery and whoops, Damian's got better stealth skills than Danny and looks like Ellie has a partner in crime whenever they need to sneak into vlad's house to cause him grief.

Vlad's walls are the first canvas for Damian to test out his new spray paints on once he gets them :)

next up

Wes weston! i love this guy, he's so funny and he definitely knows danny is the Phantom in the clone^2 au. it's not as easy to figure out as it is in canon since its not just a simple colorswap, but perhaps he sees Danny taking off his mask after a daytime fight. and after that he becomes determined to reveal that quiet, strange fenton is the vigilante phantom.

he's putting some real,,, detectiveness? stalkerish? skills to use because catching photos of phantom is not as easy as it is if he were a halfa. He can't just snap a few dozen photos of fenton and phantom and then color compare the two of them either - Phantom wears a mask, and works primarily at night or in evenings, and typically avoids the living during the day. And he doesn't speak to the living either. Wes has to put in some extra work into his investigations and evidence.

He also makes the dumb mistake of cornering Danny in the bathroom one day early on and telling him he knows he's the Phantom -- now that Danny knows that Wes knows, he's going to be even more careful not to get caught. He puts in a little extra work in both Fenton and Phantom - another layer, perhaps a jacket, as Phantom, and baggier pants and boots he never wears as Fenton. His hood stays up in the daytime.

He was already putting in some extra effort to appear creepy and unsettling as Phantom - things like crouching low, tense movements, fluid movements. If he's perched on something he does a kinda-crawl like movement - think a mix between a bear and a gorilla crawl. It's weird, creepy. And he stares. Danny's mastered the art of not needing to blink for long periods of time, so if he sees you and sticks around he stares. It doesn't help that you can't see his eyes that well through his mask - its just two piercing green.

It helps endear him to ghosts and his enemies though - the annoying little human boy is engaging in ghost culture! That's eliciting some form of begrudging respect from his enemies.

And then compare that creepy, almost cryptid-like behavior to Fenton who, while considered a freak, really isn't anything more than just some dorky weirdo with occasional heart problems. He's kinda unsettling - he has those 'stares into soul' eyes - but its leveled by the fact that he's kinda just... dorky. It reads as normal, awkward kid behavior, and then gets disregarded completely as he gets older and it bleeds into 'very chill teenager'. Fenton being Phantom doesn't compute that much.

Paulina: you think Phantom is Fenton? Wes: I don't think, I know he is! I have proof-- Star: Just because they both have black hair doesn't mean they're the same, Wes. That's like saying Paulina and Manson are sisters because they also have black hair.

Wes's attempts to out him as Phantom means that Danny is a little more wary of him than he is in canon, since his vigilante identity isn't an entirely different ghost form its just him, so he has to be careful about where or when he takes off his mask in case Wes is around. Especially during daytime fights.

But other than that he has a lot of time messing with him. Wes is trying to convince his table group at lunch that Fenton = Phantom (again) and Danny just so happens to be within earshot of him and starts making fun of the idea.

"You think I'm Phantom?" and he's got the most disbelieving grin on his face that's only partially convincing. "That's totally bogus, man. The Phantom famously doesn't get along with my parents, why would I be a ghost hunter and not work with them?"

He has this most shit-eating, delighted look in his eyes that Wes knows is pure manic glee at being able to mess with him and get away with it. Wes is going to strangle him.

"Besides, dude, did you forget I have a heart condition? I can't be chasing around ghosts - my heart would give out from all that running and jumping."

Although Danny can get really serious at the flip of a coin if need be - especially with Wes when he gets too pushy about him being Phantom. A notable instance is when Wes cornered him in an empty bathroom to again talk about him being Phantom.

Except Danny, who had been working on a really difficult cold case about the death of a child, and hadn't gotten much sleep in the last 72 hours, plus a plethora of other stuff (like recently acquiring Damian, fighting ghosts, etc), wasn't in the mood to entertain him. It ended with Weston getting pinned to the wall and lowkey threatened by Danny. He apologizes for it afterwards but it's not forgotten.

Additional note: Wes Weston having a crush on Danny Fenton is a hilarious trope to me so Wes absolutely has a crush on Danny and the only one in denial about it is him. Everyone else - except Danny because he's more focused on the fact that Wes knows his identity, and has other things to worry about - knows about it, and everyone chalks up his obsession with Danny as being part of said crush.

Wes' friend: you know usually when you have a crush on someone you normally confess, maybe ask them out, pine from afar....

Wes: i dont--

Wes's friend: not accuse him of being the local ghost-fighting vigilante. Seriously, wes! His parents are ghost hunters!

Wes: i do not have a crush

Wes's friend: and ghosts aren't real! everyone knows that's a lie!

next up

Dan! Or Dante, but i'll call him Dan for the time being. Even if I dislike the name with a passion. Much like Wrath from my Childhood Friends au, Dan here is pretty different from his canon counterpart. Mostly because I wanted to experiment with Dan and different interpretations of him, and I thought; hey, where no better than an au where Danny has no powers?

so, dan? Dan is not a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost halves -- now, don't get me wrong, danny still ends up under vlad's custody care after the death of his family, but he just doesn't fuse with Vlad's ghost.

So, what happened? What happened is that Vlad convinces a grieving Danny that he should let him make him a halfa (despite the fact that he has no idea how) because the he could go find his family in the ghost zone. Danny is in no mental state for any kind of experiments, but his hope and want to see his family and friends again gets him to agree.

It backfires. Vlad doesn't make Danny a halfa, he just ends up killing him completely. Danny comes back instantly as a ghost however, and enraged over being lied to, betrayed, and murdered, ends up killing Vlad in furious cold blood. He doesn't fuse with his ghost half, there's no ghost half to fuse with.

So a grieving ghost, Danny flees into the ghost zone. And, in this iteration, doesn't end up destroying the world. So how does TUE end up happening? Well, ten years later - with Danny remaining a forever 14 year old ghost - Dan ends up finding out about time travel. He finds out a way to travel back into the past, and he does.

So he can take over his past self's life. Danny just thinks he's fighting a weird doppleganger ghost, but ends up getting overshadowed. It's like being in a weird limbo, and Danny's not really sure what's happening - but his friends figure something out. After all, its been ten years since dan saw his friends, something has to give.

And that episode happens. Danny ends up meeting clockworth, beats Dan. But, well, it's not really happily ever after - somewhat. Ehh.. sorta. Danny's been traumatized by Dan's overshadowing - making him realize that despite everything, there are things ghosts can do that danny simply cannot and he needs to prepare for it. Onset paranoia, anyone?

Dan tells them his whole tragic backstory - there's a chance for redemption here, for him. For forgiveness. Not immediately, not yet, but its there. And he doesn't want to go back to the future - he's alone there. He's tired of being alone.

But he ends up being convinced - he needs to learn to look forward, not cling back. He can build himself up again, find new family. He doesn't have to be alone. So Dan goes back to the future.

"But come tell me if Vlad's giving you trouble --" and he smiles something wicked, "I'd be happy to handle him again"

and finally

not so much as any concrete thoughts as it is just me being emotional over Danny and Damian's brotherhood in this au and also Danny's hands. Again.

lIKE.. I put it in the tags of my reblog of my "danny's scarred hands' ficlet but im putting it here and its just?? Danny grabbing the blade of Damian's sword. Him grabbing the sword multiple times despite the fact that he knows it will hurt, that he will hurt himself. That he will keep hurting himself until Damian himself stops.

its just like??? whats it mean to spill your own blood just so that this little boy you've just met won’t have to ever again. he doesn't know any english and he is hurting you and yet you take him home and get him new clothes. he runs away and you go looking for him, every single time. you teach yourself arabic first so that you can converse with him.

this boy is a clone and so are you. you're a clone of his father he's a clone of your son - by nature of your existence this is your child. except its not your child, you don't have one, its just a little boy who happens to share the same dna as you. and you take him home and he becomes your little brother.

what's it mean when its you whose been hurt rather than him? whats it mean when you’d hurt yourself again just so that he can start to heal, so that he knows that he’s worth it? you cut your hands on his blade, catch its swing, just so this boy can know, can learn, that there’s someone who will bleed for him. that there's someone who will scar their hands just to make sure that you wont scar yours.

you’re a bleeding heart and its spilling out onto your palms. you take bloody fingers and wrap it around your little brother’s and say "its okay. it’s okay. you’re safe. no one will hurt you here. i promise. i wont let them. no one will hurt you so long as i'm around."

"put the sword down. i can show you how. let me show you how."

and damian in this au just reminds me of the song "eight" by sleeping at last. like?? the lYRICS. he is sO "eight" coded

'show me how to lay my sword down for long enough to let you through.' 'here i am. pry me open. what do you want to know?' 'im just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence' 'but here's a map. here's a shovel. here's my achilles' heel. im all in palms out. im at your mercy now and im ready to begin. i am strong enough to let you in.'

"by nature of our existence we are father and son, but by choice we are brothers. we are brothers we are brothers we are brothers. and i love you"

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #clone^2 #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp dc #dp dc crossover #dpxdc au #dpdc au #ITS JUST. THEM. IM SORRY BUT ITS THEM AND I LOVE THEM. #damian's guilt of hurting danny and the consistent conversations they have from that. danny always tells damian he forgives him. #'i hurt you' 'i know' 'im sorry' 'i know' #'one day i hope you forgive yourself just as much as i have forgiven you.' 'repeat after me: its not your fault' #'youre my brother and i hurt you and im sorry. i love you.' #i should get around to making a post about the batfam meeting them but i just!!! I love damian and danny i love their dynamic #and i know that i was the one who decided that its years before they meet the batfam after meeting each other but its still just a choice #that im stil so happy about because they become brothers! they meet the batfam and they're expecting baby damian to be like how damian was #when he arrived in the manor but he's not. he's not. he wears funny graphic tees and his older brother is bruce's clone and its so clear #that they love each other. bby dames steals his brother's flannels and gets chased around by him. and they roughhouse like brothers do #and his older brother is bruce's clone and he throws damian over his shoulders and calls him 'dames' and 'dami' and 'my boy' and its so #so obvious that this clone of bruce utterly adores damian. #and i had the idea before writing this that damian's first english word is 'star' and he turns to danny and calls him star when he wants #his attention for something. he points at him and says 'star' and he doesn't do that much anymore now that he knows english #but its one of the first signs of him trusting danny when he first arrived.

[r0semultiverse]

WHAT WHAT WHAAAATTT?!?!

#wait a second.... maybe the lich can't hurt Simon because of Betty!! #I JUST ReALIZed THAT!! #this makes soooo much more sense now #omg omg omg #are we going to be seeing a somewhat helpful lich next season? #I realllllyyyyy hope we get a season 2 greenlight ASAP PLZZZ #body horror cw #I never expected 'Jerry' to be the lich im ngl not in a million years #& BMO was chummy with him? wild.. #last post didn't show up in the tags so hopefully this one will #mine #op #adventure time #adventure time spoilers #fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #the lich #golb #simon petrikov #golbetty

[fredoesque]

see the THING about goodsir and stanley is that goodsir may be way less inclined to act cruelly but he has a far greater capacity for it.

#no listen to me bc stanley is cruel out of uncaringness #oh your toes are getting snipped off? well don't expect any coddling he's got better things to do #but that's the extent of it he doesn't care to hurt anyone either #(and yes obviously carnevale shows that he very much can hurt people but even then the hurt is not his /goal/ #it's a necessary evil so he can help people. of all things) #in contrast with goodsir who cares so so much about things and about doing them right #including. when pushed far enough. cruelty #the terror #i hope people know whenever i make a mean post about goodsir i do like him #i just think one of his best qualities is that he kinda sucks <3 #also tbc having a capacity doesn't mean living up to it. it just means you could

[mochinon-yah]

— YOUR LOVE.

(Alhaitham x Reader)

Your love was as passionate as the golden light shining through the open windows as you and your lover both lovingly look at each other in the morning. It was like this every single day. No amount of anger, fights, and pettiness could dissolve such wondrous moment from both of your life. You loved him, and he did too. He alone believed that it was an unbreakable fact.

He also remembered how much you loved every other little things in the world. The way your eyes would shine brightly at the sight of a cat. Your cat, to be exact. You always said that its grey fur reminded you of him, even the cat's stoic-like personality was similar to him as well. It was funny, really. He never liked it when people speak nonsense, just like what you did then, but oh boy, did he fell deeper in love with you after you said that. It was truly funny. Love had always been such a foreign concept, yet he tried to learn it as best as he could. He wanted to love you as much as you do to him. But with you now gone, who will be the one to teach him?

He can't let another have a go through his heart. You were already enough. It was only you who could fill that empty abyss of a heart. Knowing that there was no way of bringing you back, he fell into a lonely road of remembrance. He missed you all too well. He missed you every time his consciousness returned after being woken up from his slumber. He missed you. Your warm embrace was now left with him only trying to gain warmth from the sun's light.

From the start of the morning till the end of the moon shining, he missed you. It was just you, you, and you in his mind.

You just loved too much, and it hurts him. The blues, the greens, the greys, and even him. He, who you said was one of the most insufferable men that you've known, was loved by such a charming person. He was loved by none other than you. So, with you now gone, he couldn't quite imagine how hard the pain would inflict itself on him. Ironically enough, it went beyond the imagined.

Maybe that was why he stayed coop up inside his house after the announcement of your death. Maybe that was why all the mirrors inside his house was thrown away into the storage room. Maybe that was why he couldn't look at himself normally anymore. He, himself, reminded him of you. The way you would always compliment his cat-like eyes, his grey hair, and his cold yet warm approach made him stayed in that particular past—not wanting to move into a future where you did not exist. He did not want to exist.

All he wanted now was to be by your side, yet that was impossible. After all, he promised you. He promised to live well, even if you were gone now.

"I tried to live as best as I could, love, but it's hard. With you gone, I feel like the whole world has stopped working too. It was all too sudden, and I was forced to try and accept it. But, I just can't. Now, I'm sitting here on our old couch, looking through the window as the light of the sun hits me once again. Yet, there's something missing. After looking around, i found the problem. It's you, my dear. You are not in my arms, and it pains me to realise that. I cannot live without you, but you made me promise that exact reality. I have to go on living in this pathetic world with you not in it. Ah... I miss you, love, and I miss your love."

- Alhaitham, your beloved.

#reli-writes #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #al haitham #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham fic #alhaitham angst #tbh i was only picturing the idea of someone so sad that it pains them to see their reflection on the mirror because they got reminded of #their beloved every time they see themself so in the end they just put away every mirrors in their house to stop themself from getting hurt #i don't know if this is good tho #i hope everyone likes it qwq #ah yeah #the last line is from haitham's diary #he tried writing one ever since you died #btw i did not checkt for any spelling grammar mistakes so if you do find one just go shhhh

[quirkle2]

[zombie au] when ur.when ur brotherturns into a z.when ur brother turns into a zombie and u spend the next several years of ur childhood braving the most fucked up shit ever so u can find a cure and it gets to the point where ur killing parts of urself just to pick up the pieces of ur brother with shaking, cut up hands and glue him back together but at that point ur just going to end up bringing him back to a world that's not worth living in

#qkdraws #id in alt #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #zombie au #ritsu kageyama #mp100 ritsu #shigeo kageyama #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #btw even tho i like to draw mob snarling and being a bit feral i do wanna make it clear that he's Very rarely like that #i just enjoy it when he Is so i draw it <3 hope thishelps #he's usually more like the top right. chill as fuck. not a single thought in that head #mob only gets aggressive when ritsu's in trouble #in the top left one he's actually snarling at tome. bc of uhm.reasons <3 #dw she didn't hurt ritsu. mob just Thinks she did and he's going mad abt it #wanna write that part eventually. maybe. some day perhaps #anyway yeah.uhm. i think im cookin w this au #im cookin Smth. might not be edible but im cookin and u can't take that away from me #mob doesn't just have eye bags cuz he's a zombie and owahh zombies gotta look scary #he has them cuz in this au it's REALLY hard to fall asleep when ur zombie #but ur stillhuman and u still require sleep to live. which is why sleep deprivation is like the leading cause of zombie death in this world #and that means ritsu has to be Super careful not to let mob go too long without sleep #he's always tryin to get the poor guy to Rest. even when ur exhausted beyond belief it's Rly hard to sleep when ur a zombie #ur brain's been rewired n shit man. it fucks up a lot of systems #ritsu has eye bags bc he's .tormented.by the entire earth #quite literally everything is against him.for a very long time #and he's fuckin exhausted man.he's fuckin tired #fun fact if u raid my inbox about this au ill kiss u on the mouth

[pepperpixel]

“Can't remember when we walked past the O.R. sign!

(sur-ger-y!)

Can't remember passing out with her hand in mine!

(my-my-mind!!!!)

I remember waking up with my mind repaired.

(A-OK! ^^)

I remember when I realized, she wasn't there...”

Amnesia was her name….. is. so. horrifically. sadly fitting for these two in literally every single line. And I’m gonna NEED ALL OF U GUYS TO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW OK… THIS ISNT A DRILL GO GO GO GO!!!

Anyway… uhh. the fact Betty “blessed” this guy to like. An eternally long lifespan w THIS FUCKED UP OF A MENTAL STATE IS SO SCREWED UP GHGH- Like poor Simon god damn…! u kno he’d rather just keep on not sorting out his baggage and trauma forever too cuz it’d be too complicated… too much… force him to admit things about himself and about BETTY that he really really doesn’t want to… better to just leave it all unexamined.. pack it all into lil boxes so he can just try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist… HE GOTTA LIVE FOREVER W IT THO… *ME BANGING ON SIMONS DOOR AT 3 IN THE MORNING*: “SIMON U GOTTA ACCEPT URSELF!!!! LOVE URSELF!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE N ACCEPT EVEN THE “BAD” PARTS OF URSELF!!!! SIMON PLEASE!!!!! SIMON EVEN PPL WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE CAN HURT YOU!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT!!! ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT AND ACKNOWLEDGE UR FEELINGS!!!! AND URSELF!!!!! SIMON!!!!” anyway… gGHGH YEA, SRRY. SIMON PETRIKOVS MENTAL ILLNESSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE. ANYWAY HAVE SOME ART. W a bunch of diff versions cuz I’m indecisive!

#adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #doodles #lol at tagging this petrigroff but nah I stand by it man!!!! #being a petrigroff shipper is understanding that I’m actually canon these two need som fuckin COUPLES COUNSELING. OR TO JUST BREAKUP. #like….. gGHG I LOVE BETTY BUT ALSO. ALSO… also…. these 2 have some issues… seperate and together issues. lmao #ANYWAY THO. ANYWAY THO. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. I SAW THE NEW TRAILER. IM GONNA DIE. MY WIFE I GOT TO SEE MY WIFE #AND WERE ACTUSLLY GONNA GET SIMON MENTAL STATE SHIT YEAHHHHH!!!! #HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!! #FIONNA AND CAKE DO NOT LET THIS NERD KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS FUCKING GET HIS ASS!!! MAKE HIM FACE IT AND WORK THRU IT!!! #pls!!!! if even Simon Petrikovs can start working thru his mental traumas there might be hope for all of us ghghg #uh but anyway yeah. AMBESIA IS HER NAME IS SO THEM.. STRAIGHT UP I FELT THE URGE TO EVEN LIKE. make an animatic for it!! it was so fitting! #im not gonna make an animatic cuz I don’t feel like it but!!! I saw it… I saw the animatic in my brain ghghg- #there’s a lot of typos in these tags but. just do me a favor… and pretend like there aren’t lol #fionna and cake #am I…. possibly…. projecting more mental trauma and issues on Simon. then he ACTUALLY has… #probably. yes. but!!!! he def still DOES have issues. I feel like I’m probably exaggerating the Betty ones cuz he #never really outright expresses feeling hurt by her. but also I feel like!!!! he’s the sorta guy!!! WHO WOULDNT EXPRESS THAT! #cuz he loves her!!!!! sO MUCH!! and she did so much and pushed herself so far and was trying so hard… and also she’s fucking basically d #dead now!!!! it’d be like. disrespectful of her memory…. to feel that. also what’s even the point of expressing that pain she’s gone!!!!! #she did all of that.. for him… how could he…. just. spit in the face of that #im writing those last few tags in the he perspective of simons mind btw… the things he tells himself…. #anyway gGHG MAYBE I AM PROBABLY PROJECTING MORE ISSUES ON HIM THEN HE ACTUALLY HAS BUT WHO CARES MAN #I’m allowed ghghgh- #I wanna draw art of Simon having a traumatic flashback to the ‘Dont worry ull be obliterated soon!’ line and hating himself for it #ice king isn’t him!!! it isn’t him! it’s not him!!! why does that hurt it shouldn’t hurt she wasn’t talking to HIM #BUT SHE WAS #SHE WAS… she didn’t think of the ice king as Simon but he IS… HE IS AND JUST. URGHGH

[kandavers]

you have that one amazingly angsty drawing of radioapple. It’s the one where Luci says “you can break my heart, it’s only yours to break” or something like that and alastor admits that they are only in a relationship because he has ulterior motives. What are his motives?

btw it literally made me SOB. Love your art sm <3

Oh, to be completely honest I did not think that far! I just wanted to project HAHAHA

If I were to think of something on the spot, said "motive" would probably be: he wants to Take Over Hell, and what better way to do that than to strike the Ruler himself?

...something like that. Not very set on it, but yeah!

#alastor wouldnt have told #lucifer he had ult motives if he didnt care about him even a little bit #kanrambles #ask #radioapple #secret story in the tags #when i was with my disgusting ex i said the same thing lucifer did. #oh how i was so madly in love with him. #sadly for my case he *did* ruthlessly break my heart. #i might even say my heart was shattered! #so that angst comic was just me going “what if he just told me he was going to hurt me? would i feel any better about it?” #that comic ended on a sliiiightly hopeful note too because some people in the reply said #so yeah! #i'm hopeful too #i'm not evil #i dont want lucifer to go through the same hurt i did. #sometimes i thank god that im not depressed or else that would have been the last youve seen of me tbh 💀 #alastor and lucifer will continue to love one another #they'll get the love i deserved but never got :')

[fruitydiaz]

like. not to say building a family with the 118 hasn’t taken work because it has. but when it matters it’s so easy. it took 30 years for the buckleys to “make an effort” with their kids and it’s not even an honest effort. all buck had to do on day one when he met bobby was say “everyone calls me buck” and bobby just nodded and said “welcome to the 118 buck.” all he had to do was tell eddie “whatever it takes for you to forgive me” and he said “i forgive you. that’s what it means to be part of a team.” all he had to say was “it’s me” and eddie let him in when he was broken on the floor. all he had to do was say “it’s me” and bobby told him the secret to his chili recipe. he doesn’t have to fight with them he doesn’t have to plead and beg for them to love him anyways they just! love him! point blank! end of story!

#al talks #911 spoilers #the ‘it’s me’ broke me #i really hope we get into maddie’s side of this #because buck never had his parents love and now he thinks he has it and that hurts in one way #but maddie had their love at one point and they took it away from her. and a part of her knows whatever this is they’re doing isn’t real #and that’s just a completely different kind of pain #oh buckley siblings. ohhhhh buckley siblings. #it kills me that buck will run himself into the ground doing whatever he can to make the people around him happy. to make them love him. #because he’s been doing that from the day he was born for his parents #but the people who already love him never ask him to do that! #he pleads for forgiveness he doesn’t have to plead for with them! he begs for love he doesn’t have to beg for! #apologizes for mistakes no one needs apologies for! and he still doesn’t get it! #because it’s been. 30 years of this. #oh buck 😔

[canisalbus]

i’ve been in a lot of undiagnosed pain recently and struggling with medical care for it, but your art and bits of lore have been giving me a wonderful distraction. you have my gratitude and appreciation!

I'm sorry to hear you've been in pain and not getting the proper treatment for it, that's awful. But I'm glad my art and ramblings have been able to take your mind away from it. I hope things work out for you soon!

#I can relate years ago I got spontaneous nerve pain on my right leg/hip it hurt so bad I could barely sit up/stand/walk for months #it lasted for over two years and no one seemed to be able to figure out what was causing it or treat it effectively #I messed up my stomach lining with painkillers as a side effect #hopefully whatever is ailing you gets resolved quicker and with less hassle #answered #crow-ho #it was pretty unbearable I remember starting to genuinely hope that they would amputate the whole thing (?) #if it meant it would stop it from aching every second #sorry I don't mean to make this about myself I just suddenly remembered that time really vividly and how much it sucked

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

[fadedrainbowbookshelves]

"Fraaank are you going to help me figure out where Howdy moved the fireworks to or not?"

"Try not. If I were Howdy, I wouldn't have even allowed you in the door after last week!"

#welcome home #welcome home fanart #frank frankly #julie joyful #barnaby beagle #howdy pillar #unaffiliated with the incredible creation of welcome home i'm just a fan having fun! #If there's one thing Julie doesn't need to have her hands on it's fireworks #Frank really out here pretending he's not just as unhinged as Julie is #Howdy's one of two people in Home who work in customer service everyone should be nice to Howdy #Barnaby's here to make him laugh in currency so looks like he's having a good day #Hope these two don't muck it up #Be safe tomorrow y'all if you're in the usa setting off fireworks I feel like someone I know always gets hurt tryna have a backyard show.

[spearxwind]

I would like to make another post re: relationships and mental health real real quick

I've curated my online presence, so I think I will be very biased when I say this, but I have definitely seen a huge change in terms of positivity posts vs negative posts. A good while ago (around 2015-2017 or so) there used to be A LOT of negative posts on the site. There were a lot of negative x-suggestion blogs, and a lot of vent blogs and posts and such, and I did partake in a lot of self deprecating posts and humor.

But since then either things have gotten better, or I have distanced myself very much from that kind of content, or both! The thing is that I really dont see a whole lot of that anymore. I actively avoid negative posts and self deprecating humor in general, etc.

And it has also made a huge difference in my mental state too. So if you are finding yourself firmly rooted in ventposting and aggressive or sad posts, please be mindful of yourself! I would not want you to lose catharsis if it truly helps you to do that, but definitely try to ease off of it progressively and I think you will end up in a much better place mentally over time :]

(I will also say, this includes music too! Music can be really cathartic, but sometimes we get too wrapped up in the feelings that a song can evoke and it can change ur mental state for the worse. Speaking from experience! please be mindful of yourself and take care!)

#thunderclap #i feel like ive said this before but ill just say it again it really doesnt hurt #and hey if it helps just one person it will have done its job #hey you reading this. i love you! i hope you have a good day today!! get yourself a treat for me :]

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

That scene towards the end of the S3 trailer

The one where Shadow is running to save Sonic from disappearing

What if by that scene, the main conflict is changed? Nine is no longer actively trying to get ahold of Sonic, to drain the paradox prism energy from him. Just like Shadow and his focus on saving Green Hill over the Shatterverse before, he concedes that *nothing* will exist if they can't fix the paradox prism (assuming that the crew comes to the conclusion that they need to fix the paradox prism to have a chance at fixing the rapid breakdown of the shatterverse).

What if after episodes of fighting Nine and avoiding having his prism energy taken from him, Sonic gives himself over willingly. Nine has just realized how far he took things, how tunnel visioned he became on a goal with the sacrifice of things (and a person) he cared about. What if he feels guilty, resolved to help fix the universe they live in before anything else, and Sonic *asks* him to drain the energy this time?

And no matter what Shadow or Nine or anyone else says, no matter how uncertain doing so would make Sonic's fate uncertain and put it at stake, they can't refute the argument. Doing this could kill him (just like back on Ghost Hill, when Sonic asked for Nine to give him energy to match that of the prismatic titan), but is there any other way to save the shatterverse?

I'm not sure what the answer is myself, but perhaps they hope so. They're running out of time, and if they can't fix it, all of them will die. So, they all form a plan.

What if Nine feels this guilt as he drains the prism energy from Sonic? What if he feels more awful (and a little jealous) when it's up to Shadow to ultimately save him (because Shadow's the only other one who can move quite as fast)?

What if Shadow runs and runs, desperate too to make sure that Sonic won't die? What if he's frustrated at Nine and Sonic (because why did it have to come to this?), but also frustrated at himself (because maybe if he could have been there with Sonic, or maybe if he was the one searching the shatterspaces before, maybe he could have stopped all this before it went too far, maybe he could have kept Sonic safe from this fate)?

What if Shadow enters that shatterspace with Sonic in his arms, hoping so badly he'll pull through, trying not to think about what'll happen if he doesn't?

And what if Nine is the next to enter the shatterspace, arriving before anyone else? What if Nine watches Shadow hold Sonic's barely existing form and feels a pang of jealousy, and a waterfall of guilt. What will he do if Sonic doesn't pull through?

#sonic prime #sonic prime season 3 spoilers #putting that tag cause of trailer talk #sonic the hedgehog #nine sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine the fox #shadow the hedgehog #Sonadow #Sonine #i just be ramblin #This is more a prediction than anything (and also a method of hurting myself with feelings) #How convinced am I this prediction is correct? Ehhhhh 30% maybe #I have no way of knowing what's going to come next. My only predictions for that scene are this‚ or Nine (tunnel visioned) does manage #to drain the energy from Sonic during his campaign‚ and Shadow puts everything else aside to rush him to make everything okay. #So basically I either think Shadow's role was in a plan to extract the energy to save the shatterverse AND save Sonic #or that Sonic gets his energy extracted and Shadow has to save him on the fly #With how warped his goals may be becoming‚ I kind of hope Nine goes down a kh1 Riku route‚ where consequences force him to step back and #realize all he'd done and hurt in the sake of fulfilling a goal that wasn't necessarily his original one. I want him to feel so guilty for #hurting the hedgehog who was kindest to him back then #I love when feelings guys #I love when regret #I love the idea of Nine and Shadow putting aside their differences to save Sonic AND the shatterverse #sonic prime spoilers