#i hope y’all understand what i’m trying to say i just rewatched this scene and it’s been bouncing around in my head all day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heartlessbeating · 2 years

Text

wolfstar + story of another us

my greatest discovery of the day is the fact that story of another us by 5sos fits all too perfectly the story of wolfstar from remus’ pov. here’s why :

(disclaimer : this is way too long and maybe excessively useless but i’m posting it anyway, hoping that it’ll reach the people gravitating in both the marauders fandom & 5sosfam)

because i may have masochist tendencies, one of my favorite things about wolfstar is how doomed their relationship is -- okay, maybe not my favorite thing so to say, but it’s something that i’m a sucker for because it makes it all ten times more tragic than it already is (and i know y’all love it too, don’t lie to yourselves).

story of another us begins with an ending. the very first verse deals with the end of a relationship, compared to the dreaded end of a movie :

Play the scene over again Before the credits rolling in Inside my head I don't recall a single word They hit me faster than I heard Inside my head

aside from the cool meta-reference it could simply be to the hp movies themselves (haven’t we all rewatched the shrieking shack scene over and over and over again), an ending being the subject of the first verse seems to anchor the relationship into the only thing canon wolfstar could ever be : relaying on second chances yet fated to be destroyed. it sounds so dramatic, i know, but that’s why it’s such a touching story.

and if you look closer into the lyrics, i can’t help but think of the fights that might have occurred during the first war just before all hell broke loose. the narrator here feels the words flash past them in the violence of the argument, and who other than mr. sirius orion black is there to lose his mind in such a way? the fact that they would end up so wary of each other to the point where they’d doubt the other’s trust could only result in heated arguments and repetitive scenes with either of them storming out of the room, flat, whatever. they couldn’t communicate, and when they did it involved cutting words coming from a place unknown to the other, all of this resulting in an impossibility to understand whatever one might say, thus ‘they hit me faster than I heard.’ their shared stubbornness and inability to get over themselves led them to terrible fights and possibly breakups and, despite pretending that they’re not affected by it, they so obviously are -- the scenes can only replay themselves in their minds as well as in the real world. it’s what they inevitably gravitate towards. the start of something new brings along its fated finitude : beginnings and endings come as one.

the first pre-chorus follows :

And now I'm shaking, wearing thin I always wonder where you've been Tell me if you wanted it at all

easy enough : halloween 1981 happened, leaving remus in shambles and questioning whether or not it was all a lie from the start. and despite trying so hard to leave sirius behind, he can’t help but wonder, wonder, wonder again because how could it have been a lie?

the first lines of the second verse follow the same idea and period in remus’ life (being the twelve years of thinking sirius was the killer) :

Memories are pay-per-view It costs too much to think of you I'm hanging by a thread

remus dwells on the past, analyzing every memory for a clue, something he might have missed while being terrified of what he might find, hence the ‘cost’ of thinking about sirius.

then, looking into the chorus, i can’t help but see the ‘long-term plan’ of getting over yourself and your hurt crushed by the ‘short-term fixes’ of alcohol and whatever drugs which only bring relief for a few hours at a time. remus ends up with this ‘wasted heart’ battered by each full moon, each disappearance of the sun behind an all-encompassing, frightening ‘eclipse’. ‘trust’ turns to ‘dust’ in the tragically unlucky course of his life as he reminisces one of the multiple ‘us’ that he and sirius have been.

I got a long-term plan with short-term fixes And a wasted heart that just eclipses And I'll push my luck from trust to dust enough That's the story of another us

but then sirius comes back. and he’s innocent. and here comes another cycle of trust turning to dust, another us. remus desperately needs the chaos of sirius escaping azkaban and of the overall panic striking the wizarding world to be the ‘one last ditch’, the last obstacle to ‘a new beginning’. once more, upon being given a second (third? sixth? fourteenth?) chance, they bleed into each other, unable to be together in any other way than completely, atomically and metaphorically -- only for that semblance of rebuilt trust to vanish into to dust again as sirius slipped into the veil.

One last ditch, a new beginning So take this heart, put yourself in it This surprise ending I'm depending on Could be the story of another us

during all these years, and despite trying his best not to, remus wished for the impossible, the ‘surprise ending’ of the problem resolving itself. and it happened... right?

skipping the first lines of the second verse (that i already mentioned as they refer to desperation previous to sirius’ return) and here comes my absolute favourite part of the song :

An epilogue before we're done A sequel to what we've begun I'm hanging by a thread

for a minute there, they seem to get the happy epilogue. a short one, yes, but an epilogue nonetheless -- they’re together again, they’ve got harry back. but that’s not all of it. because if the (non-existant) optimist in me sees this ‘sequel’ as a continuation of the marauders’ early years (back when they were all happy and, well, not dead), the friendships they built and the joy they spread, my (deep-rooted) pessimism can only interpret it as an illustration of the fact that wolfstar were fucking doomed from the beginning. whether it was the first or hundredth chance they got, it still ends in the same way -- with hurt, with things untold and memories that won’t let themselves be forgotten, with a love so raw it can only bleed out.

And now before our hope is lost My heart is here at such a cost Tell me if you wanted it at all

finally, the last bridge sung by michael wraps it all up together. if last chance it is, they’ll suffer through it one last time together, each of them reminding the other of the people they’ve lost, the hurt they’ve endured and caused. the last two lines immediately bring to mind their role in both wars against voldy -- each time at the front row of the conflict. the first time they’d blindly followed the dangerous man that was dumbledore until they’d all lost something (whether it was their life or their sanity), teenagers at the front line of a war they’d become devoted to ; then turned into the ‘last resorts’ of a new army, attempting to protect another generation about to get slaughtered in a conflit thrice their size.

Drown me, beside you Where I'll be to remind you We're still first in line for The front row of last resorts

between the constant mention of doubt and wavering trust and the foolish dream of living a different ending, story of another us perfectly shows the cycle in which two people can get stuck. it doesn’t mean they didn’t have their happiness and their love, they did -- of course they fucking did. but i feel like the longing for something else, something new, along with the paradox of needing to forget the unforgettable can definitely be linked to our favourite depressive bookworm wolfboy, the one and only remus lupin <3

(now someone please make an edit with this song so i can die feeling miserable but it’s okay because it’s wolfstar)

(i hope all of this was somewhat understandable, i wrote it in one shot without thinking it through whatsoever)

(and in case it wasn’t obvious, i fucking love a good tragic story)

#wolfstar #story of another us #5sos #i need a hobby #harrypotter #alltheyoungdudes #atyd #wolfstar playlist #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #song analysis #lyrics breakdown

4 notes · View notes

teamfreewill2pointo · 3 years

Text

Sam’s Emotional Arc 1/3

I hated the finale immediately, but I’ve spent some time with it and talked to friends who loved it. I can see now what it was about, and I’ve come to appreciate the story they were trying to tell, even if I think it didn’t land right.

I’ve been told that my meta on this has helped other people come to terms with the finale, so I thought I’d compile it in one place from across various discord channels and twitter posts. If you are struggling with the finale, I hope it helps you.

Part of this actually started with a shit post. I was making a joke about Sam being psychic since he was scared of clowns when Dean died by one. I realized that may have been deliberate. I dug into the story more and now I’m convinced it was. Then I came across some excellent meta that fit with the themes I was finding and opened up the series even more for me.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it. First, Sam’s journey.

Clowns pop up in s15 before the barn scene. In 15.01, which was written by Dabb, Sam is injured by a clown. Castiel is able to save Sam and heal his injury. The clown keeps coming after Sam, with Sam having fight scenes with the clown, while others attack the other ghosts. The clown is kicking the shit out of Sam again, and Castiel saves him once more. Sam is unable to fight off the clown on his own both times.

They run until they are able to escape outside a magical barrier. Sam turns to the clown and says, “shut up”.

This is literally Sam running from his fears. On top of that, this isn’t just any clown, but the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, from an episode also written by Dabb.

Dean: A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns.

Sam gets nervous and struggles with the lighter before he’s able to get rid of the clown, for now.

I believe this is a metaphor for hunting in general: it’s both the best of Sam’s life and also the worst. The clowns symbolize his relationship with Dean.

Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie was co-written by Dabb (see the pattern?). Sam’s fear of clowns was known since season 2. In season 7, Dabb explored where this fear came from.

On the surface, Sam’s fear is just because he found them creepy, but the episode explains that they actually come from Sam’s fear of being left behind by Dean.

youtube

This episode comes directly after an episode where Sam worried that Dean would get himself killed

Sam: Look... Dean, the thing is, tonight... It almost got you killed. Now, I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't – don't get killed. Dean: I'll do what I can. Sam: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Dean: It means I'll do what I can. All right? You can shut up about it.

Sam is dealing with Hallucifer at this moment, but Hallucifer doesn’t really scare him. Losing Dean does.

Sam has a conversation with an employee about greatest fears.

youtube

Recognize the actress? She came back for s15 in 15.06. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. 15.06 featured Castiel helping a parent find their lost child in a season that features Castiel worried about losing Jack. Through his experience with her, Castiel confronts his fears and doubts and then returns to join in the fight against God. [I’ll touch on Castiel’s journey more in his chapter]

Sam’s greatest fear is losing Dean. There’s a lot in the series about how Sam felt lonely and abandoned for much of his childhood. A whole episode, Just My Imagination, centers around this. Sam hated when Dean went off on hunts without him.

source In The Chitters, Sam tells Dean how his fear of losing his family paralyzed him as child. It’s a story where an older brother dies and the younger brother never recovers from it until he’s able to lay him to rest (sound familiar???)

Sam: You know, whenever you and Dad used to leave me to go hunting, and I-and I wouldn’t hear from y’all for a while, I, um, I was always sure that some vamp or rugaru, or take your pick, I always figured one of them finally got ya. I tried to think what to do, you know, the next step to take. I was just lost. Dean: We came back, though, every time.

You might naturally think, “Wait a minute! Sam left Dean multiple times!” Honestly, this was something I had a huge issue with when watching through the show the first time. I didn’t understand Sam and hated him leaving Dean in s8. I was completely on Dean’s side at first. But, on multiple rewatches and talking to others, I’ve realized that when Sam left Dean, he was running from his fear. In this TV Guide interview, Jared perfectly sums up why Sam left in season 1; he couldn’t stand to see his family die. Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon along with a comic that explains why Sam left in detail. While the comic isn’t official canon, it shows Dabb’s thought process. In it, Sam sees his family as running towards a horrible end and can’t handle dealing with that.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.

There are many more points in the series where we learn about Sam’s fear of Dean dying. This would be 3948573945 pages long if I wrote them all out, so I’m going to focus on the key moments that loop back to this ending, but there’s so much more there.

If you are struggling with this and need more, please let me know and I can do a deeper dive into that subject. We first see Sam’s inability to let Dean go in season 1 when Sam refuses to let Dean die in Faith.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? Sam: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

Sam’s whole arc in s3 is him being unable to handle Dean dying. He wants to save Dean, but Dean won’t let himself be saved. This was what Gabriel was trying to teach him in Mystery Spot.

Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

This is how Ruby gets under Sam’s skin and what gets him to start working with her. Everything Sam did was to save Dean. In s4, Sam’s arc is about him sacrificing himself in order to save Dean. He’s gutted from being unable to save Dean. In 4.12, Sam decides to drink demon blood in order to save Dean

Dean: [says that they will die early] Sam: Maybe we'll be different, Dean. Dean: What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life. Sam: What if we could win?Dean: "Win"?Sam: If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it.

When Sam breaks out of the panic room, he’s suicidal. He’s determined to save Dean with his life as the cost he’s willing to pay. He didn’t think he would survive killing Lilith. He was committing suicide in that moment. The reason why Sam is so willing to sacrifice himself in s5 is because he has low self esteem. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. In Sam, Interrupted 5.11, also by Dabb, Sam has a breakdown under the weight of his guilt. He hates himself and he feels his rage is out of control. In season 6, we see soulless Sam and, unlike souled Sam, he has no rage. Yes, he’ll kill when necessary, but he’s not angry. It was Sam’s fear driving his rage. He felt out of control of his life and let it lead him down a dark path. In season 7, he sees Dean heading down a dark path and he feels helpless to stop it. He worries about dragging Dean down and tells Dean to let him go. But, at the same time, he’s developing coping techniques. He’s starting to face his fears.

youtube

And then Dean disappears and Sam completely falls apart. Sam didn’t have a healthy relationship with Amelia. They were two broken people clinging to each other. Sam and Dean struggle to reconnect after their time apart. There’s a lot of text addressing the horror of a partner dying and people trying to escape from it.

Mrs Holmes: He could see the end of my days were at hand, and... He had lived centuries all alone, but I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge. You must think I'm a monster.

In Hunteri Heroica written by GUESS WHO!?!? Sam finally acknowledges that he was living in a dream world with Amelia. He was running from his past. We see a flash back with Sam pressing on his scar, which he did to help himself distinguish fantasy from reality.

The episode is about a man refusing to engage in reality and harming those around him. Sam has a big confrontation with him

Sam: Look, it can be nice living in a dream world. It can be great. I know that. And you can hide, and you can pretend... all the crap out there doesn't exist, but you can't do it forever because... eventually, whatever it is you're running from – it'll find you. [CASTIEL appears to be taking Sam’s words to heart.] It'll come along, and it'll punch you in the gut. And then... then you got to wake up, because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Likewise, when Sam was with Jessica, he wasn’t honest about himself. He was hiding from his family and his past. Running to avoid pain. Sam is avoidant in general. Not just in his relationship with Dean. When he talks with Rowena in 13.12 Various & Sundry Villains about his fears of Lucifer, he admits that he could talk about it with Dean, but he can’t bring himself to.

Sam: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind – behind whatever vessel. It… Yeah, still keeps me up at night. Rowena: How do you deal with it? Sam: I guess I don’t deal with it. Not really. I mean, I pushed it down and, um, the world kept almost ending, so I keep pushing it down, and I don’t know. [stammering] I really don’t talk about it, not even with Dean. I mean, I could. You know, he’d listen, but… That’s not something I really know how to share.

In 15.20, Sam’s past is front and center. Literally. I know a lot of people found the Winchester family portrait odd and upsetting, but it symbolizes something I’ll get to in a bit. Instead of trying to avoid his grief, Sam has moments where he lets it wash over him. He goes and sits in the car. He’s no longer avoidant. He’s no longer running away. He’s letting his grief move through him. He’s literally sitting with it.

Soulless Puppy pointed out that the characters emotional arcs is similar to DBT. Please look through their awesome meta here.

Personally, I see them as similar to the therapy I do called ACT. Both are forms of therapy where instead of fighting against them, you accept painful emotions and allow yourself to feel them. If you don’t do that work, then you can’t stop feeling them and your fears/ghosts will always haunt you. In Swan Song, Chuck tells us that “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.” In 15.20, Sam initially didn’t want to let Dean go. He’s been refusing to do this since season 1. When he’s separated from Dean he lives a fake life or destroys himself/the world trying to get Dean back. There’s a moment in 15.20 where Sam looks at Dean’s guns. He wants to commit suicide, but he makes the choice to live. For the time in Sam’s life, he let Dean go and lived with his pain. He no longer ran from it. After Swan Song, Dean was unable to let Sam go. He wanted him back. After Carry On, Sam is able to do what Dean couldn’t do. He lives a life outside of Dean. What’s more, Sam has reconciled himself with his past and his family. It’s clumsy and I wish it were better shown, but having the family portrait and their parents in heaven isn’t meant to excuse the way Sam and Dean were raised. In order to move past the trauma of his relationship with his parents, Sam fully integrates them into his life. In Lebanon, Sam was able to confront and forgive his father. In doing so, he can also forgive himself. Mary asks for forgiveness too, and he grants it to her. He doesn’t forget what happened, but he’s able to move forward and leave the intergenerational cycle of violence. He’s able to raise his son, Dean, the way his brother should have been raised.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it.

I can see why people see Sam’s life after Dean as unhappy. I hated it so much because I saw it as horrible and sad the first time through. I had to sit with myself and my emotions first. I think it’s because we’ve been told by society that we have to get rid of our grief in order to be happy. The finale was showing us that it’s possible to do the opposite. [Personally I think it would’ve been better had they showed more overtly happy memories, but many of my friends saw this straight away] When I began therapy, one of the first things I learned was that there aren’t “negative” emotions. When working with our kids, we call them Big emotions. In DBT/ACT, all emotions are treated as normal and natural. Grief, anger, sadness, etc, these are all normal parts of the human existence. We don’t need to run from them in order to have happiness. We can live with them. As interstitial said in our chats, “you can't change the past, you can only change your relationship to it. To accept that your past contained both love and heartache, to miss it, but also know you can do better; that's actual recovery, as good as it gets.” As Soulless-Puppy explained to me, Sam lived in duality. Dean was dead, but Sam lived. Sam was happy, but he grieved. Dean was with him in the watch and the car and his son, but Dean also waited for him in heaven. I hated the finale the first time I saw it, then next watched it with my boyfriend who loved it. As we were watching together and discussing it, I realized that Dean’s death scene wasn’t just about him, but about the show itself.

Dean promising Sam that he will be with Sam in Sam’s heart is also the show promising us that they will never leave it. That’s why Alex kept posting “The end has no end.” Just as Sam carried Dean with him in his heart, we will carry the show with us. I hope this helps. It’s a terrible thing to feel upset about an ending and thinking of the show this way, recognizing these patterns, is bringing me peace. I still have issues with how it was written, but now that I see what they were doing, I wish all the more that they had the chance to do it right. Please share your thoughts and experiences. I love hearing different opinions. Next up, Dean. Then Castiel.

142 notes · View notes

onlyhereforangst · 3 years

Text

WWR

Ok y’all if you thought 18x05 was long, you in for a trip. Get ready for lots of caps, lots of not PG-13, and lots of overanalysis. I hope this lives up to the hype since it took me forever and a day (literally almost every minute of the 20 minutes of scenes took practically an hour to breakdown, I have a problem I know). Anyways, let’s get sweaty under the cut because the day ain’t young no more 👇🏼

Their bickering in the car but Nick smiling the whole time is a huge married vibe but also he’s so happy she’s alive and will take any shit she gives him vibe and I’m here for it. Pluuuuus Ellie avoiding nicks question about the phone call 😭 he’s so freaking concerned for her (he’s been through his own version of PTSD), his voice drops all the teasing and he actually opens up a little bit - really wants to make sure she’s ok. He needs to be there for her and ugh poor Ellie, those walls are going back up after that hug- a momentary lapse in her usual self. She’s so far outside of her comfort zone talking about feelings and weaknesses and she immediately deflects. Nick respecting that deflection is also huge growth for him, knows it’s not ok to push through like a person like him would normally do and force her hand. He knows she needs space but also clearly ready to be that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it.

His joke about notable mustaches only to be the butt of the joke about using the word notable later is hiiiiiilarious.

Her comment about Zillow 😂 um excuse me ellie you looking for houses and to settle down 👀 but then(!!) Nick pushes her down the stairs first when shots start, getting her out of harm’s way and putting himself in danger like he always does my heart 😩 like he’s still on the stairs by the time she’s in a cell “safe.” And side note damn they are good shots, oof.

The toilet bowl scene is easily one of my favorites. Nick freaking out over Ellie moving hers and him not being able to had me DYING. Like legit cackling over his worry she’s suddenly way stronger than him 🤣🤣 and then he gets SO pissed they took their car hahaha like so mad he hugs the damn wall in frustration. But then he claims he’ll rip out the bars of the window (you know, to make up for not being able to move his toilet and still prove he’s macho) and Ellie’s comment about superhuman strength & his agreement LOL. His anxiety level of being trapped and more so Ellie being trapped is getting to him already. He is reaching for any possible way to get them (read: her) out of there safely it doesn’t matter that the plan sounds outrageous. Cue him moving back to pissed and breaking the toilet with his damn foot like 🥵 we get you strong Nick but no need to show off. Hot damn. His “I really think we’re stuck in here” after that IDK why but had be laughing again. I’m pretty sure I said “no shit Sherlock” at my TV watching live because thank you Captain Obvious.

Aaaaaand then when she pauses and finds the bomb bricks but goes so quiet oooooof he’s on high alert. You can practically hear his heart pounding and then he goes and starts panicking slightly when she doesn’t respond with our first use of a first name, “Ellie we have a wall between us, what is it?” But his tone is so frantic and his eyes are darting around putting the whole picture together and my heart aches for him. He’s starting to realize just how helpless he is to save her. The exact thing he likely swore he’d set out to never let happen again (Ellie in danger) after last episode, is happening again. And this time, it’s not like he can go hunt the guys down, he’s quite literally stuck. Helpless with no way out. Aaand here’s where Nick starts to lose his patience. Pissed at himself for not saving her before, not being able to save her now. Pissed at everything. He cannot comprehend how she is in this situation AGAIN and he can do nothing. But oh lord, he doesn’t even realize it’s about to get worse...

Him brooding over this crappy situation in a corner and being the cautious one is so unlike him (but also so telling as to how unnerved he is by her being in danger once again and not wanting to do anything to make it worse) and Ellie calls him on being “so careful, cowboy” and hot damn again she really does like a man in uniform doesn’t she??? 👀🔥 and she not picky on the type of uniform either 😏 but Nick immediately deflects because he’s not *quite* ready to talk feelings so let’s get down to business about counting bullets BUT the second Ellie starts to worry again he goes into hyperdrive protective and caring boyfriend partner. Without hesitation he tells her they’re going to figure it out because goddamnit he HAS to figure this out for her. He can’t fail, again. And he’s so so SO worried about her & her mental health right now and I sincerely love it. I know Ellie doesn’t want to have that conversation but I stan (I can’t believe I’m using that word, I’m not hip enough for that word) an empathetic boyfriend who supports their significant other when facing mental health issues (like PTSD in Ellie’s case) ❤️❤️❤️ Nick breaks my heart, he wants to be there for her- wants to be the one she feels comfortable enough to open up to and he just gets so dejected when she rejects his probing again (but I don’t blame her, it’s *hard* to open up about these difficult topics), his body language slumped over the bars and tone is just so defeated even if he tries to snap back into his usual Torres self (newsflash it ain’t working bruv because she’s not totally wrong in calling you hovery). Yet naturally he gets annoyed because he JUST CARES ELLIE DAMMIT LET HIM CARE. Like you go through this entire list of him trying to protect you from everything that could go wrong because HE CARES. HE WAS TERRIFIED HE LOST YOU ELLIE. HE TRULY THOUGHT HE’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN. NEVER TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU. HE CARES. AND HE CANT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN. HE LITERALLY WANTS TO SAVE YOU (his own words because god damn this show plays with my emotions 😭😭) FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED AND HAVING TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF A PLANE RIGGED TO BLOW. Ok done with yelling for now but man this part gets me. The implications are so important even over trivial stuff. He felt helpless and Nick Torres cannot do helpless, so he tries do to everything else in his power to keep her away from any danger no matter how little it seems. Even hot coffee is too much for his precious babe and while he knows she’s not some delicate, fragile flower- he knows she can hold her own (& has called her a badass as proof), his heart can’t possibly take another explosion on an airstrip. Even if that airstrip is something like a burnt tongue. Ok I die now 😩😩😩

But let’s come back to living because this bullshit Nick “I always tell you what’s going on with me...you ask I tell you” exCUSE ME. Is this the same man who claimed he was being overprotective and that Ellie was like a sister to him?!???!! Yeah, I call bullSHIT that you tell Ellie what’s going on with you. (And Ellie calls BS too, btw buddy).

But when Ellie finally decides to open a little I love it. I think she finally understood at least just a bit that he just, simply cares about her & her well-being. So she gives him a tiny taste of what she’s going through. And god Nick’s face when he understands the gravity of what she’s having to face mentally. Like I know he knew but I don’t think he knew just how bad. And you can just see that hatred towards his perceived failure turning inward once again as the mood shifts in these cells to somber. Plus Ellies last comment here with them *needing* to find a way out of there- girrrrrrrl poor baby girl 😭 she’s struggling so hard right now and trying so hard to not let it show and not let it get to her but you know she’s terrified. You know she’s desperately triggered. UGH Ellie 💔💔

We cut to Ellie desperately trying to figure out a solution to getting the fuck outta there and once again my heart aches for her triggered self. Nick seems desolate and frustrated, shutting down slowly as it seems less and less likely they’ll get out. Buuuuut then the GUM. Ahahahahahah Ellieeeeeee how do you know about that last piece of gum for “breath emergencies”??? AHHHH this man’s jeans are so damn tight (& yes trust me I would know, I observe) but like also you staring at a spot on said tight jeans that’s only maybe five inches from a different outline 👀👀👀 GIRL I FEEL YOUUUU. GET. IT. Plus she knows exactly what he calls it and I freaking love that. His excuse for why he has to save it is also hilarious 🤣 his breath emergency later hmmm doubt you wanted to save it to MacGyver something Nick sooooo you got another thing in mind?? 😏 and then LMAO it’s mushy because his pants are sweaty I’m rolllllling. Your pants too tight Nick? (this is not humanly possible btw) ALSO is this why later Ellie says she expected Nick to be more sweaty??? If it is and now rewatching I kind of feel like it is, omg what a great callback on her part 🤣🤣

Nick trying to coach her on the proper way of opening the cell door is hilarious because bitch which one of you was able to move their toilet Nick 👀😂 but oh damn now it’s when shit goes downhill fast.

Nick not being able to see anything and his frantic questioning is amazing compared to Ellies absolute panic realizing she is once again facing down a bomb. I feel like her calming breaths are a coping technique Jack has been helping her with but man kill me now, Nick’s face?? When he realizes what he thought was helplessness earlier has just shot yo exponentially??? Oof with a capital O. This poor man needs a damn drink and yet all he can have is a club soda boy I *feel you* on that (side note #letsgetthisbabyoutmybellyasap). His woman has gone and gotten herself into another bomb encounter for the second time in a week. And he CANT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Can you imagine the absolute inner (and outer, give it a sec) freak out he’s having?? He wants to save her from hot coffee for Christ’s sake and now he can’t save her from a rigged bomb. Talk about a shitty situation.

I just love the Torres Teachable Moment little discussion. Like Nick’s smirk gets me. I really don’t think he knew she had a name for it or realized that she caught on to what he was doing (trying to help her grow as an agent without being obvious or “degrading”). And then we move on to comparing arm length and I crack up 😂 “my arms are longer than yours” and “no they’re disproportionately short for your body” HAHAHA like what the hell have you guys been doing to know this?? Do you stand *that* close together with your arms down to know their lengths comparatively and how much do you stare at Nick, Ellie? Daaaaaaamn. From his gum to his arms to his body I see you 👀 I’m not hating tho I would too 😏 I think what I loved most about this whole jail scene (aside the ending obvs) is the quick flipping back and forth from joking & teasing to dead serious & worried. Like they’re both trying so hard to keep it above board and light- trying desperately not to think of the implications of what’s happening but then (usually Nick) those intrusive thoughts sneak through and he can’t help but redirect them back to serious. It shows their inner warrings with themselves and just how hard this is for both of them. How much they want to appear strong and unflappable but they both know deep down the whole situation is eating away at them. And Nick bringing up her standing on a bomb only moments before he tells her he’s going to shoot the wall- OOF. Ellie’s genuine terror for him injuring himself and her then not being able to do a damn thing about it because she’s standing on a FREAKING BOMB is so painful to watch. Like she’s stuttering she can’t get it out fast enough, she needs to stop him, she can’t fathom him getting hurt while she’s helpless (uh, hello there theme of the episode how have you been). Nick’s facial expressions through this scene are also so telling. He goes from “this isn’t a big deal” to “oh shit she’s panicking” to “holy shit is she going to open up, is she really talking about this” to “fuck it’s my fault she had to go through that and it’s tearing me up inside every second” to “hooooooly fuck is she about to say what I think she’s about to say?? Is she about to confirm what I know deep inside but am too afraid to say aloud?? Is it true??” And ELLIE OH ELLIE. Reliving that *has* to be hard, has to. To finally bring it up after she’s been dodging it all damn day...you know the thought of him getting seriously injured had her more than rattled. And she cracks open those cement walls around her heart so briefly, the glimpse in it provides I think a turning point for Nick. Finally seeing that it’s not just him, she’s in deep too. Even if she can’t say it, can’t say she was fighting to see him again 😩💔 he knows. She says he only has one bullet left and to save it and they’ll figure some other way with tears in her eyes my HEART. But Nick gets it. Nick gets it because he’s been in the exact same situation. His eyes as they process the implication of her words and the fear for his life running through them 🥺 his simple “ok” is so unlike his normal self, you just know he’s once again doing anything and everything he can for. Even if that means standing down and not fighting for his way (the natural instinct for him). He knows what she needs is reassurance he won’t accidentally shoot himself. So he does it 😭 But him pacing (as a man of action suddenly faced with forced inaction) & Ellie begging for an inventory over and over (a woman of logics and data faced with PTSD) is so painful. You can tell they’re both struggling and neither wants to admit it but also they both need to do something - for Nick that becomes finally deciding to shoot a foothold in the wall and for Ellie that meant trying to go over their facts again and again but suddenly she’s once again terrified Nick is going to injure himself. The one man she fought to see again might hurt or even kill himself and she can’t do a damn thing because she’s standing on a bomb for fuck’s sake. Aaaaaaand cue the blow up. Cue Nick voicing his worst fears of Ellie accidentally triggering the bomb. Cue Ellie getting defensive because she’s so damn used to be babied and treated like she can’t take care of herself. Cue the “overprotective hovery man crap” line that had me rolling on the floor (tbt ROFL). Cue Ellie calling herself a girl but Nick calling her a woman like DAMN get me where it hurts Nick- that right there is a man who respects the living hell out of this fiiiiiiine representation of a woman in front of him 🔥. Cue Ellie saying because I’m “me” like um FUCK YES IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YOU AND HE’S TOO SCARED OF LOSING YOU ELLIE. Cue Nick finally losing his shit and getting reeeeeealllllllll like hallelujah do you hear the church bells?! Even Ellie knows to finally pause and listen. Nick never loses it on her, never. She knows this shift is serious and it’s happening. And omg his confession can I just have a moment of silence for the GROWTH.

Thank you, it needed commemorating. The same Nick who didn’t belong to a team is the Nick that is out here claiming he can’t sit idly by while the love of his life might get blown up again. He’s NOT OKAY WITH THAT AND NEITHER AM I. NOT AFTER THIS GODDAMN SCENE. His head bob accentuating just- how- important this is to him is so in character (thank you Wilmer) and theeeeeeen shoot me the way he has to fucking collect himself from almost crying. The emotion- there just aren’t words. Literally he has to look up to the sky and blink back those tears you know are threatening to fall at the thought of the woman who he still *technically* hasn’t told that he loves her could potentially die, again, for the second time in a week. So guess the hell what? He’s telling her (sort of). He’s telling her he would do anything, anything, put himself in danger’s way if it meant there was even the tiniest chance it would save her. Pardon the callback but- HE WOULD RISK HIS LIFE TO SAVE HERS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER ELLIE. YOU SAID I KNOW. DO YOU KNOW NOW. DO YOU. BECAUSE GOOD LORD CAN YOU MARRY THIS MAN ALREADY BEFORE I DIVORCE MY HUSBAND AND DO IT (jk love you honey 😘). But like damn, she knows it now. That look- she bites her lip and has tears in her own eyes at the realness she can feel even through a cement block wall. It’s a feeling she’s not used to. She isn’t used to being a person someone would literally risk death for. She doesn’t think she deserves it (sip on that like whiskey, mull it over, let it sink in & cry about it). Even if she knows she doesn’t need saving (and so does Nick), she finally realizes it isn’t about that. It isn’t about he feels like she can’t do it. It’s about the overwhelming pull that your life isn’t greater than the one you love. That love, real true love, is knowing you would do anything for that other person (and they the same) because the world would be worse off without them in it. And Nick will never be okay with a world without Ellie. Never. Their joint quiet after his confession is so powerful. There’s no claims of falsehood, there’s no trying to quip back at him, there’s no trying to stop him. It just settles into the room- into their hearts. They’ve crossed a line and it means so, so much. Nick can feel a weight lifted off his shoulders as he loads his gun and gets ready and Ellie can feel a weight settle on hers from the need to reciprocate. And not out of pity, it would be out of truth. But she knows it isn’t the right time. She knows she has to do it, and she will. She held back earlier when she couldn’t say she was fighting for Nick, but his outburst and confession gave her the courage in this scene. She finally has confirmation she means to him like he means to her. And she has to know, she has to know if he means it or if it was heat of the moment so when the dust settles she inquires, “what’s going on over there?” A pulse check. A way of asking without asking—did you mean that? And the shock of confirmation of her face as Nick, dead as a doornail serious says, “close calls make you live harder”….holy hell. That’s the moment it snaps for her, everything snaps into place—the agony he’s gone through not only this week, but the past couple years of close calls. He’s done beating around the bush, he’s living harder, he’s going all in, he’s getting what he wants. He refuses to let anything like a damn jail cell rigged to blow stand in his way. And she knows, she knows just how important she is to him. He might not have said those three words, but that phrase- that phrase was a direct window into Nick Torres’ soul. And by god I love it.

But Nick pulling a prank on Ellie like that is also so Nick- the little shit. The genuine concern in her voice when she yells his name 😭 like dude, her worst fear, something causing ongoing trauma in her head right now is the ONE THING you decide to tease her with??? I should expect nothing less but damn that’s low 😂 her checking on his status update with Gibbs though feels like such a role reversal from earlier and it cracks me up, side note.

When they’re getting ready to stand down the returning brother and Nick gets in position next to the wall but can’t even look ahead- he’s just staring at Ellie, oof. In that moment he’s brutally and painfully aware she can’t hide for cover. Not only can she not hide, he can’t cover her because he’s (locked in a cell but also) out of bullets. He’s once again near helpless and the woman he loves (and has now finally kind of told) is a sitting duck. Someone get this poor man a damn club soda, I repeat.

And the little talk between the two parties- I love that Ellie takes point. Love that Nick lets her. Like damn that’s a supportive partner right there and I 👏🏼 AM 👏🏼 HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 IT. He knows she can handle this shit and he will willingly let her. But nooooooowwwww weee gettinggggg to the goooooood paaaaaaart.

Ok first, “good to see you” - this man has missed her face. Straight up dying to see her in the flesh. Just listening to her voice and not seeing the emotions written on her face is not enough. Seeing her alive, smiling at him, he needed it. But of course, let’s keep it light, act natural Nicholas.

“I thought you’d be sweatier” - excUUUUSE ME ELLIE. Not only did you just call out his reference to his sweaty jeans earlier, you also WANT TO SEE HIM SWEATY DON’T YOU. THAT SMIRK SAYS YES DON’T LIE. And honestly, I don’t blame you shhhhh.

“The day is young” - can I get another excUUUUSE ME NICK. Words- they don’t- function. Because that knowing smile of hers- SHE’S OKAY WITH IT. GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER YOU TWO THERE’S A HOMICIDAL MAN UPSTAIRS. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO GET SWEATY TOGETHER TONIGHT YOU HEAR ME. THAT DAY IS YOUNG AND SO ARE YOU SO GET THOSE BRICKS AND THEN YOU CAN GET TO BANGING LATER. I just fucking can’t with their smirks. I can’t. This isn’t the normal banter, this is the fuck me banter and I’m okay with it. Because right after the I-wanna-get-in-your-sweaty-jeans banter we have Ellie putting her HAND ON HIS GD HIP AS HE PASSES ONLY TO MOVE UP TO BOTH SHOULDERS. AND THEEEEEEEN HOLY HELL SOMEONE LIGHT A MATCH BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM SEXUAL TENSION. Is it possible to rewatch this scene a thousand times in slo-mo and still not have watched it enough? Because that is me. That will always be me. How are they so in tandem, so in sync as they look up mere inches from each other- directly into the other’s eyes knowing exactly how serious this situation is and yet pausing to freaking gaze longingly (read: have eye sex) at each other. And I’m sorry Nick looks down at her lips like three times??? For a good while too?? Sir nothing you said required you to look there. nothing. And also there’s no way his hands aren’t on her I thiiiiiiink they’re on her upper arms (based on the last shot as he’s walking to get the bricks) but like hold her tight Nick please. Also while Ellie doesn’t look at his lips (in this scene) holy shit those are some come-hither eyes if I’ve ever seen them. “I’m sure” ABOUT YOU. SHE’S SURE ABOUT YOU NICK. SHE’S SURE SHE’S READY TO GET SWEATY WITH YOU NICK. Like literally, this girl had been leaning up against the cement wall for a looooong time before he has to pass her and now, NOW that Nick has to pass her- SHE STANDS UP TALL. TO GIVE HIM NO SPACE. WHILE SHE’S STANDING ON A BOMB. BITCH YOU WANTED IT. That was a damn power move Ellie and I am not mad about it. She so easily could have leaned back, given him a ton of space to get around, but nooooooo she stands right there, middle of the tight opening and says yes Nick come get 1mm from my face, touch me here, touch me there, touch me everywhere don’t care 👀 while you pass. I’m sure I’m okay with it because you’ve just eye fucked me and it’s exactly what I wanted. And I mean come oooooooon just the underlying emotion behind both of their words. Nick isn’t just asking if she won’t move her foot- it’s his way of asking if she’s ok and she looks SO much better, more relaxed now that he’s with her. The tense, anxiety-ridden Ellie that was asking for inventory or snapping about him being overprotective, is now at ease despite still standing on said bomb- all because Nick is right there with her and if that doesn’t make you 🥺😭 I don’t know what will. Like she can’t even take her eyes off of him even after rude brother interrupts this gold moment of theirs until Nick has already completely turned his head towards the dude. She’s just so relieved to see him standing there, so close to her, feeling his warmth underneath her hands again.

Side note to prove my earlier point, when Nick casually reaches through to throw the bags of bricks through the door Ellie is leaning on the wall and THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM. HE COULD HAVE EASILY PASSED.

Nick looks like he literally wants to murder the guy, enraged that he’s the one who put Ellie in this situation again. We would’ve seen swan!Nick if it wasn’t for Ellie choosing this moment to finally share her feelings. Because remember- she’d decided she was going to reciprocate but knew it wouldn’t come off the right way before. Now’s the time. Now when the immediate threat to their lives is gone (excluding bomb of course). Now when they’re alone, they’re together, and she can look him in the eye so he knows she’s serious. He can read the truth in her eyes rather than doubt her words said across a jail cell wall.

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you” - well damn that got your attention didn’t it Nick??? So used to putting Ellie first, putting yourself second its weird to hear it come from someone else isn’t it? That someone is worried for your safety? That someone needs you living and breathing just as much as you need them doing the same? His eyes immediately change from Imma kill this man to did I just hear this woman right.

“I’m not okay with you getting blown up either” - first off, the parallelism is what makes this absolute *chef’s kiss* because Nick has literally zero chance of being blown up if he runs after this dude. Shot? Yes. But blown up? No. Ellie has chosen these words precisely to call back to what Nick said earlier. To make sure he’s aware she understood the weight of his earlier confession and is making the same one. They are on equal footing- their feelings are not only reciprocated but just as strong as the other. She could’ve said anything else but choosing his exact words was so poignant in the moment. It’s like the difference between saying “I love you” & “I love you too” compared to “I love you” & “I really care about you.” And the way she says it with such confidence, she isn’t playing around, she didn’t even *have* to bring up their previous conversation, she’s got determination etched across her face with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She means this, and it’s dying to bust out of her. And so the shock to Nick’s system is quite frankly understandable. This is Ellie - someone who hours ago didn’t even want to tell him who she was trying to make a phone call to. Ellie who has walls the size of Mt. Everest erected around her heart. Ellie who could have brushed off his earlier comments said from the safety of a cement wall between them. But no. This Ellie is all-in, she’s ready to own up to her side. She’s ready to lay it on the line just like him. Equal footing. If Nick is ready to jump, then so is she. And he’s just so taken aback- glancing at her lips, blinking through the shock as he processes. Processes the weight of her words on their relationship. He knows he could laugh it off, make a joke about his superhuman strength not allowing him to get blown up, or he could man up and take them both forward. Ellie doesn’t even flinch under his stare, if anything she becomes more confident, more resolute in her words and her stance. Her eyes searching his for what his reaction will be and for a brief moment I swear there’s a tiny bit of worry, a tiny bit of unease that he wasn’t ready for her to repeat his words back to him.

“Well, what are we gonna do about that?” Oh YOU HEARD. That smirrrrrrrrk Nicholas stop iiiiiit, Eleanor’s standing on a bomb you don’t need to light her on fire!! Because this is a challenge, a goddamn challenge. Staring straight into her soul saying, “oh you want me and I want you? How about we blow this popsicle stand and go get fucking sweaty ok? Because that’s what I want to do about that 👀🔥🔥🔥” and not only is the smirk sexy as hell but it’s also got this glint of elation. Like he could not be happier she said those words back to him. That he finally took Ziva’s advice, wasn’t a wuss and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT PAID OFF. But his words also tell of a little nervousness. And not necessarily in a bad way, more as in a leaving it to her way. Putting her in the driver’s seat of this relationship knowing it’s where she’ll feel most comfortable. Given all she’s been through, like all of it not just the past week, he knows that she needs to be in control of how fast they move. And once again his chivalry and thoughtfulness of her is just- I cry. He doesn’t just assault her with what they should do next, he leaves it for her to decide. For her to weigh in on how far and how fast she wants to take them. And by the little shy smile Ellie gives him- she knows what he means. She knows her words have hit their mark and that he respects her enough to let her lead the way. And now she has to make her decision, a decision we DON’T GET TO SEE BUT I’M NOT BITTER IT’S FINE. But a decision nonetheless.

I honestly go two ways on this- the most obvious of hell yes they kissed right then and there and started *something* and then the bitter realistic one of they were probably interrupted by Gibbs (who was literally outside like right then based on timing) but also may have just continued to stare into each other’s eyes- still slightly taken aback by everything they just shared and what it means for them. Still unsure of how they “work” as people who *love* each other, not just partners. Having that reality sink in as they continue to face off and wait for a rescuer. That reality sinking in could lead to obviously very good things (that we better see on our screen or I will fucking riot) or a slight nervous closing-off. Like not quite closed off closed off, but a tiny retreat when the gravity of the day falls down on both of them. I don’t think either will believe they only said what they did because of the situation/moment they were in, but it’s still a lot to deal with after all is said and done. I sincerely hope they unpack this in the coming episodes and give us some direction of what happened after that jail cell scene.

I love the Torres told McGee about what happened today and I’m so curious about how much detail he told him lol but I also love that McGee has now received genuinely good advice from Torres twice now (the one about the reunion and now this). Just goes to show you the brotherly bond they have ❤️ but also that the advice was the same advice he literally lived out that day. Close calls make you live harder, almost as an affirmation to himself (Nick about what happened), but as something he knew McGee needed to hear too- they all do.

And then this bullpen scene - one, how far of a time jump is this and whyyyyyyy won’t they telllll meeeeee. They hate me. Two, Ellie coming over so close just to hand off a file that he doesn’t even look at 👀 three, THEIR SMIRKS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN. Because Nick is holding back the world’s biggest smile as Ellie gets close to him and Ellie is just all nonchalantly checking him out with a brief eye-sex scene. Like damn this fine man doesn’t want me to blow up and I don’t want him to blow up either 🔥 Now does this mean they absolutely got together and did the nasty after they got out of that cell? Of course not. We can only dream, and write fics. This ending scene is very reminiscent of what NCIS loves to do with their power of open-ended persuasion at the end of an ep, see On Fire for example. The ending music and comments combined with the shot of Gibbs leaving in the elevator is literally there to try and persuade you that he killed Xavier. In this ep, the ending music and voiceover combined with their looks at each other is there to try and persuade you they totally got it oooooon. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t trust NCIS one damn bit.

All in all, cannot *wait* to see where they take ellick the rest of the season. Emily hyped this ep and man, she did NOT disappoint. Let’s see that shift that is going to ripple for the rest of the season now like Wilmer promised 🤞🏼

Oh and my only side note because this was insanely insanely long and if you’re still reading I’m proud of you for hanging in there with me & my screams into the void, send me an ask screaming back it’s ok I’ll love you for it—waaaas the whole team poking fun at Torres for using the word notable was downright hilarious. That and Gibbs trying to do everything himself, I can’t. Comedic gold. I love. I would go from dying of laughter to intense emotions so fast in this ep I got whiplash and for that, I am thankful to Gina. She always delivers 🔥

#ellick #WWR #ncis #lol this is literally a total of 6k words #what is wrong with me #don't answer that #hope y'all who stick with it enjoy 😘#18x06

61 notes · View notes

craftycraftin-blog · 3 years

Text

I’m one of the ones that doesn’t ship SarahBucky. I support and encourage SarahBucky shippers—my issue has and never will be with you or what you like.

I’m not sure how we arrived to this place where if someone states they don’t like a ship, they’re “trashing” it. I don’t like olives on my pizza but that doesn’t mean I’m out here trying to get the ingredient banned because it doesn’t fit my taste buds. You don’t need anyone’s validation to like (or not like) a pairing, y’all. Please don’t feel personally attacked when someone doesn’t like something you do for legitimate reasons. (Bigotry and hate isn’t a legitimate reason, let’s establish that from the get-go.)

I love that we want to encourage positivity and acceptance of all ships in this tag. I see that as us wanting to support each other, no matter what we like and I love it. I truly believe we can do that here without the need to block healthy discourse. Or isolating/attacking those who do. In my eyes, that’s not being supportive.

I for one like discussion surrounding Marvel and canon and fan pairings. It sounds like we don’t want to do that in the sambucky (or other ship specific) tags. Is that our general consensus? I’m not being sarcastic, I really want to know so we can maybe establish a *different* tag where this type of discourse is encouraged.

Now, I didn’t say bashing, I said discourse. 😂 I don’t enjoy negativity anymore than y’all do, but a dissenting opinion does not equate negativity. I’m trying to read essays of why people have the sort of opinions they do, pinings about certain scenes, or criticisms on how something was handled. And it just seems like the sambucky tag isn’t the place for that. If not, where can I find it? I follow this tag looking specifically for that. I appreciate your guys’ help!

SarahBucky as a fanon ship is perfectly legitimate. As many have said before, ships can be built from less than 2 minutes of screen time.

However, SarahBucky as a canon ship—as it is currently presented—makes me uncomfortable. Without the backstory of this SarahBucky “deleted scene” the writers apparently had planned, it feels like pushing Bucky together with a black woman because he spent some time in Africa. Because at this point, canonically, what else do they have in common?

I understand surface-level attraction exists. I, as an individual, don’t always experience this (another demi here) so that’s not what I use to establish a relationship between two people. Some may, and I can see why they saw the little flirtatious scene we did get between SarahBucky as the start of something beautiful.

For me, that’s all I got and, immediately as it stands, it is not enough canon-wise to put these two together. Otherwise we’re just out here putting Bucky with any black woman in his circle cuz his Mr.1940s done been to Africa and seen a whole new world and potential and Sarah deserves better than that. At this stage, canonically, it doesn’t seem genuine. And there is unfortunate precedent with making black women desirable partners in a relationship precisely because they are Black women. Not an individual with their own hopes and dreams, but because they fit a mold of what we want to see. Outward appearance.

So far, Bucky has only hit on Sarah. Please let me know if I’m forgetting some other scene where they had additional interaction. I’m happy to rewatch it.

So that’s why I don’t ship SarahBucky canonically like I do with SamBucky, who has an established close relationship in canon. At least not at this stage. If Marvel gives them legitimate, personal interaction and a story, I’m more than willing to change my mind.

If you find it necessary that I must qualify my opinion, I am a black American woman. I am well aware that not all black women experiences are the same, especially considering we exist all around the world. But as an American, specifically from the USA mind you, we get fetishized & stereotyped a lot, especially on our features. I don’t want this implication happening to Sarah because all we know—all we have been shown—about their relationship so far is surface level attraction.

#sambucky #pro fanon s/rahbucky #anti canon s/rahbucky #we are more than our skintone and I need to be shown that #to know it’s real #and not a convenience #demigoggles #pro canon sambucky #pro fanon sambucky #support your fandom like you support your family #and you know good and well you don’t like all them mofos either #but you still support them ❤️#pro essays #pro pinings #pro discourse

9 notes · View notes

manggaetteokkie · 4 years

Text

Okay so I was rewatching the 2020 FESTA (as one does) and for some reason, when I got to the rainy day incident, I felt like I was really seeing the whole incident for what it’s worth for the first time?

Make no mistake, it’s far from my first time rewatching it (that scene in particular, lord knows how many times I repeated it just to watch all their reactions), but I felt like it was the first time I really took the time to understand it.

I mean, think about it: 4-5 years ago, Jimin and Jeongguk had a huge fight that got Jimin angry. So angry in fact, he told Jeongguk something along the lines of “I won’t bother with you anymore”. If you put the fact that it’s just a story about the past aside, their fight was apparently so bad, it got Jimin of all people pissed enough to throw those kind of words out before turning around and leaving. Mad enough to leave and walk home alone despite the rain and, for all we know, he might not even have had an umbrella with him.

So what happens next? Some time during his walk back, Jimin gets a phone call from Jeongguk. And the first thing he says?

“Hyung, I was wrong”

From Jimin’s estimation, the walk between the dorms and the practice rooms takes about 20 mins. That means that after Jimin left, Jeongguk was left alone in the practice rooms to wallow in his thoughts. And apparently, he felt so bad about the fight he couldn’t wait till he got back to the dorms to apologize (he clearly felt bad enough if he’s still thinking about it even 4-5 years after it happened).

No, he had to give Jimin a call less than 20 mins after he left. That’s barely enough time to calm down and think things through? I mean, he clearly hadn’t calmed down if he was still crying when he called. And according to Jimin, Jeongguk cried a shitton that day. We’re talking about the maknae that straight up yeeted the tears out of his eyes during the 2018 MAMA speech. Can you even imagine what must’ve happened?

Moving on, Jimin gets that phone call, hears Jeongguk’s apology and although he’s mad enough to spit out a “I told you not to contact me, right?”, he nonetheless asks Jeongguk where he is. Now here’s the thing that actually made me go “oh shit”...

When asked about his whereabouts, Jeongguk replies with a “I don’t know”.

Excuse me?

What?

Do you understand what that means? The implications?

If not, it’s okay, I’ll spell it out for you: if JK had stayed in the practice rooms, how could he not have known where he was? Even the area near the practice rooms should have been somewhat familiar to him, so how on earth could he not have known where he was? There’s only one answer that I can think of (y’all are welcome to share your thoughts on this): soon after JM left, instead of staying in the practice rooms, JK likely ran after JM, but he got lost instead since he couldn’t have known where JM was headed. So he was literally running around in the rain, trying to find JM only to give up after a few minutes and call instead.

Jin was right, this is definitely straight out of a drama. “Two people have an explosive fight that leads to one of them leaving in a fit of anger. It’s raining. Soon after their departure, the other quickly runs after them, but not knowing where they went, they run around randomly in the hopes of finding them. When they can’t, they can only call.” The script writes itself.

We all know what happens next: JK flags a taxi, gives the driver JM’s location while JM waits for him in the rain. When JK gets off the cab, they have a very dramatic reunion. The end.

Or is it?

I personally have so many feels and questions about the whole situation. What was the fight about? How did it end? I mean, I can just imagine JK, soaked and completely miserable, sitting in that taxi, quietly sniffling as he does his damn best to stop the tears. But the second he sees JM waiting for him under the rain, it’s like a dam breaking. This isn’t even really a far fetched guess given what we’ve seen in the past...

I personally don’t really have any speculations about what the fight was about because 4-5 years ago is vague enough to make it near impossible to narrow it down, not to mention how it’s probably impossible to guess (take vmin mandu incident for example, no one saw that coming).

Please feel free to share your thoughts, I’m curious about what you guys think.

EDIT: just to add onto this, we also need a moment to think about how, despite being mad enough to storm off in the rain, JM was still ready to pick up JK’s call? I really think JM has a soft spot the size of the Milky Way for JK given how it seems like it took him less than one hour to let the whole incident go. I have no idea if he forgave JK right then and there but I mean, if I was really pissed at my friend, I don’t think I would have waited for them in the rain nor would I have hugged them when we met. I’d probs 1) ignore their call, and 2) tell them to leave me alone and go wherever they need to be.

#bangtan #bts #jimin #jungkook #jeongguk #jikook #kookmin #festa 2020 #rainy day incident #rainy day fight #my post #my stuff

397 notes · View notes

dukeofonions · 3 years

Text

Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.

Like, bruh.

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this.

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

20 notes · View notes

uselesstimetraveler · 4 years

Text

It's been over a week now since the AOS finale and I still haven't had the heart to rewatch it, so I'm just gonna share with you my opinions from that night (I wrote most of this the next day, just haven't posted yet lol)

It was next level excellent, overall, but I have A LOT to say, this is gonna be long

YES TO EVERYTHING DANIEL RELATED!!! The thing I loved the most was that they made him so useful, he wasn't just helping Daisy or doing whatever people told him to do, he actually had a great idea and executed it with Mack’s total support. He went to action and it gave me LIFE!

Another thing that gave me life was the philindaisy moment at the bar. I’m a sucker for them. When Daisy got there and hugged Coulson I was AAAAAAA and then she went to hug May and you see her stop, like, “oops, should I?” AND THEN MAY HUGS HER HERSELF!! Now, you can argue that May is an empath and felt Daisy’s emotions at that moment, but lemme tell y’all THAT WAS NOT JUST DAISY’S FEELINGS, THAT WAS MELINDA MAY'S GENUINE HAPPINESS FROM SEEING THAT HER DAUGHTER MADE IT BACK SAFELY!!! Try to convince otherwise and fail miserably. My family is just perfect like that.

The Fitzsimmons reunion scene I WAS SOBBING from the moment she realised the key was her ring!!! AND THEN FITZ JUST xkskdxkkm COMES BACK LIKE THAT kxsmkdsms I CAN’T djkskdsjsms I WILL NEVER EVER GET OVER THAT!!! That whole thing was genius, honestly. They were truly able to take a hard situation in which an important actor wouldn’t be able to be there for most of the season and used it amazingly to their advantage. And then Fitz HELPED HER REMEMBER BY TELLING THOSE STORIES = MORE TEARS. That whole scene was beautiful. AND WHEN SHE REMEMBERS ALYA OH MY GOD by that point I was screaming. Btw, I love how they chose their daughter’s name, it’s beautiful and has an even more beautiful meaning for them <3

Since I’m already talking about Fitzsimmons I’m just gonna go ahead and say that their ending was so well deserved. They suffered a lot, literally every season some shit would happen to them. I’m so glad they got their happy ending and are right now living their best life as a family <3 fitzsimmons family = everything to me. (are there any Fringe stans in here????? Did y’all notice that parallel at the end? If not, let me explain: aos: jemma sitting on the grass seeing fitz and alya playing together and smiling. Fringe: olivia sitting on the grass seeing peter and etta playing together and smiling. BOTH ON THE LAST EPISODE!! And both episodes were number 13. This is too much for my heart.)

About Deke: I really love that he was the one to “sacrifice” himself for the team. I’m not really a fan of Deke, but I was glad that he did what he always wanted, in a way; Contribute significantly to the team and be acknowledged as part of said team. It felt to me that by doing that he was doing what he often tried, but no one ever really took him seriously enough to allow him to do. I think he was selfless and then ended up finding his true place, after all. Nicely done, if you ask me.

On that note, and shifting back to Daniel once more: when he said he was gonna be the one to stay behind I was like “NO YOU’RE NOT! Don’t even think about it. You, buddy, are going with Daisy.” What was he thinking? (I know what, and I know it was brave and selfless of him, but just let me have my moment, okay?)

Now the answer to ending the war was empathy?????????? GENIUS!!! Mojed, you went beyond terrific there. I love everything evolving May in that part of the finale, how she dropped from the ceiling calling herself The Calvary (talk about character development!!!) to philinda fighting together and exchanging looks, to her saving the freaking world with her empath abilities!!!! I have some serious goosies just remembering.

Something else that was just genius to me was that they were the ones at the temple, THEY CARRIED MAY OUT OF THERE, I did NOT see that coming. WHAT?!

OH! And what about what Piper asked for??? She asked for Davis!! That’s adorable! That had me crying too, I love their friendship.

Now Kora. I was a little bothered about how fast things happened for her and Daisy on the sister bonding thing. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like that her and Daisy ended up working on the same team for SHIELD and that they were in a good place in their relationship, but what I’m saying is that Kora hated Daisy’s guts on one scene and Daisy had literally said a couple episodes ago that she did have a sister, but it was Jemma, and then Daisy died, and I liked that Kora saved her, is just that I got a vibe off of them in that scene that seemed like they had the best kind of sister bond for ages. Was that just me? Maybe, but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s not really a problem, I'm just saying.

Btw, when Daisy died for, like, two seconds, I was out of my mind!!!! I couldn’t even scream, I just froze in place. Thank God or whomever that she was brought back to life. I wouldn't be able to continue without my baby.

Now back to philinda and probably the only "complaint" I have: Let us agree, despite wanting them to be together in the end, there was very little chance of that really happening, right? Because he’s a robot now. But I did have a lot of hope, those episodes >>gave me<< a lot of hope. Y’know, in episode 12 they had that moment talking in the hallway, the explosion happened, he protected Melinda... I was like, “that’s my couple right there, you guys”. Then at the fighting scene they exchanged some looks at the end that really left me “it’s coming, people. Their happy ending.” It didn’t come. I took another blow to the face. A blow that was expected, yes, but a blow nonetheless.

I wasn’t all that excited about Coulson’s ending at first, you know, him just traveling the world, but I understand what they did and why. He’s still getting used to his new self and rediscovering his life, so it makes sense that he would need time to do that. That last scene with Lola was simply EVERYTHING TO ME tho!!!!

But May’s ending… the thing is, I had a lot of expectations for how she would end up. Throughout the seasons something that was very clear to me was her desire to be a mother and I know that she built that relationship with the youngest agents on the team, but I kinda expected, aside from philinda endgame, more of that. But my biggest problem here isn’t even that, is that I really, REALLY don’t see Melinda May giving lectures????? Melinda May? The woman who now calls herself The Calvary, teaching theory or history or whatever???? I’m not saying she can’t, I’m just saying I never thought of that as a possibility for her, it sounds more like a Coulson thing to me. But then again, that’s all they showed us from her life. They gave us very little details about how she (and everyone else, honestly) is living and I think in a way I like that because it lets us imagine whatever we want. So she could very easily just be there at the academy for one lecture, she could be training (physically?) new agents instead? IDK. Also, Flint was there, they could have built a relationship. Mentor\mentee like hers with Daisy at first or even mother\son? I’d like that. I like the “found family” thing.

I have two ideas of fanfiction out of the finale. The first one is a Dousy that I had already thought of and completely fits with one thing that Daisy said, and the other is basically a Philinda fix it because, well, I want to. I'm very lazy when it comes to my writing, but I really wanna do these two, let's see how that turns out.

68 notes · View notes

dreamingofscully · 4 years

Photo

6x19. “The Unnatural” - X-Files Rewatch

“Mr. Mulder-- maybe you'd better start paying a little less attention to the heart of the mystery and a little more attention to the mystery of the heart.” - Arthur Dales

The gifs in this post are by @trusttnno1 and are used with permission! (Check out the full The Unnatural baseball post here.)

Here it is y’all. I think Mulder and Scully became romantically involved after this episode. I know it’s not a commonly held theory, but I love this idea and I think there’s sufficient canon to support it. However! I’m not trying to say my ideas are somehow superior, or that I am attempting to convert everyone to my thinking. I don’t want you to abandon your headcanons if you love them, but if you’re curious about mine, then continue reading and let me know what you think! But just as I respect your theories, I’d hope you’d have the same respect for mine.

Read on for analysis!

Poor Scully lugging the giant books. She complains about being inside on a sunny day, but you’ll notice she frames it as a question towards Mulder: “Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?”

She’s saying, in essence, I’M HERE, HELLO?!

Also I love the connection to the ending. Scully wanting to be outdoors and to enjoy time away from work, then Mulder inviting her outdoors later specifically separate from their work.

Her cute face when eating her dreamsicle. She is in SUCH a different place here than the last scene we saw her in - the ending of “Milagro”. This is one of the main reasons I see the shift in their relationship happening around this time rather than in season 7. Scully is playful, very smiley, joking around. She has a lightness about her that we have so VERY rarely seen. Something’s different - I think she’s ready and that she’s just waiting for him to be ready as well. She is super flirty with him.

Mulder’s “Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.”

Why don’t you test that theory?

Also, WHO exactly is the one pouring over records in the office, calling her in over a weekend? WHO exactly needs to learn to “live it up”?

Scully’s throwing all the hints Mulder’s way but he’s still SO FOCUSED on the work. I think he intended to invite Scully to the office to just spend time with her, because he doesn’t know how to spend time with her otherwise. He feels he doesn’t have the right, or that she wouldn’t want to, or that he can’t have her and his quest at the same time.

The picture of them is now ON THE WALL instead of sitting on the desk. I guess Mulder is done his feathering. I’m wondering at the symbolism of that, though. No longer just placed on a counter, with the lamp pointing at it, but attached to the wall WITH PERMANENCE.

How apt is it that Mulder leaves on a case, distracted by it, forgetting that he called Scully here for a different purpose (just to have her near)? VERY.

Scully’s face when he tears out the page in the book, contrasted with her very turned on face and saying “Rebel”. She’s generally a rule follower, but… she’s willing to break them under very particular circumstances. And enjoys it when doing so.

***

I really enjoyed the Exley story. It was a wonderful tale that I seem to forget about because it’s sandwiched between some of the best MSR we’ve ever gotten in the show. But, this analysis is about the MSR so that’s what I’m going to focus on.

“What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia is that baseball is the key to life-- the Rosetta Stone, if you will.” - Arthur Dales

All of Mulder’s questions can be answered by baseball. So what does he do at the end with Scully? He shares baseball with her.

“Agent Mulder, do you believe that love can make a man shape-shift?” - Dales “I guess… women change men all the time.” - Mulder

Dales goes on to say he’s not talking about women, and Mulder is being non-specific about being changed - but it is 100% the case that he’s changed since Scully has come into his life. It doesn't really have to do with the fact that she’s a woman, but that she’s SCULLY. He’s learned to only trust the right people, that she loves him and he might even be worthy of it, but he still has some ways to go.

Dales’ “heart of the mystery/mystery of the heart” comment. Just… !!!!! He encourages Mulder to think about things other than his obsession with the X-Files. That there is more to life than his endless pursuit of the Truth.

Dales calls his baseball figure “Pete Rosebud”. A reference to Citizen Kane? A name spoken on a deathbed that doesn’t get solved, but it’s related to the last happy moments of the character in the movie. The suggestion that trying to solve the mystery on its own is doomed to failure, that there is something else worth pursuing.

Mulder’s love for baseball brings him back to his childhood, when he was happy (see “Home”) and his thoughts about settling down and having a family, remembering his childhood by the smell of the baseball. He wants to give that to Scully.

The love Exley has for baseball - it changes him. Mulder changes, or vows to change, by the end. This is the awakening he needed. He doesn’t HAVE to have a singular, obsessive focus on his quest in order to be successful. In fact, the suggestion that he CANNOT be successful if he pursues his Truth above all else in his life.

Just because something is mundane, like love, doesn’t mean it isn’t the purpose, the reason behind it all. This doesn’t mean he should discount all the complicated stuff, that he should “get out of the car” like Scully seems to want, but that he should INCLUDE it in his life alongside all the rest. His focus has been solely his work. He lives there, considers it his home, and was lost when it was taken away. He needs to round out his life to give it a stronger purpose.

After hearing how baseball changed Exley, whether he believes it or not, the message is there. Mulder thinks more about simple things - love, baseball. Perhaps he can change too?

For a while now Scully has been questioning her priorities and trying to get Mulder to leave the X-Files, to abandon the quest that she sees as never ending and having no hope of a satisfying conclusion. She feels she has no chance for a relationship with him as long as he is so focused on his quest - and she is partially correct. Dales’ words, and Mulder’s reminder of happier times, gets him to take that next step, showing Scully he’s ready to expand his universe to include more than his quest.

So, he invites Scully to play baseball with him.

And not just… tossing balls at her and giving her a few tips. Wrapping himself around her, speaking closely into her ear, making her laugh, his hand lingering on her hip. It’s SO MULDER, and so very intimate and romantic.

“Hips before hands.” ❤️

“I’m in the middle.” ❤️

And Scully’s giggle. ❤️

Not to mention baseball metaphors/idioms. They are literally hitting home runs. Hitting it out of the park. Together, they write their future in the stars.

I can’t imagine them waiting minutes, never mind months, to release all the pent-up passion they’re been withholding for years after this moment. Scully’s ready, and Mulder decides to take a chance, to expand his world to include a relationship with her. Not abandoning his quest, but making it stronger by including Scully, by having her closer at his side for it.

By focusing on the mysteries of the heart as well as the heart of the mystery.

End Note/Future Discussions/Disclaimer I’ll address such things as the Amor Fati confessions/dream, the Millennium kiss, and the conclusion of the Samantha arc when it comes to those episodes.

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #season 6 #atths

116 notes · View notes

admiral-alby · 4 years

Text

k y’all I’m rewatching the old guard again and I’m having so many Thougts, esp re: Bookers betrayal. and like I’m barely coherent rn bc I am BUZZING but pLEASE bear with my frenzied thoughts bc y’all??? when nicky and joe are being tested, there’s the scene where Copley asks Merrick how much longer the tests are going to go on. and Copley says “you have blood, bone, tissue samples, etc” to that effect and Merrick says lol we keeping them and Copley seems genuinely surprised that merrick wants to keep them locked up forever and never let them out again. and later on Copley said “this is not what we agreed”. And like, keep in mind from what I understand the biggest reason that the og and joe and Nicky specifically are so deeply hurt is, betrayal aside, bc they think Booker willingly condemned them all to being lab rats forever and knowingly put them in a situation where they would face dying repeatedly and the Big Fear is that they may not wake up, esp in the face of Andy’s sudden mortality. But!!! Considering that Booker worked with Copley to do his big set up, and considering Copley’s surprise at Merricks forever personal lab rat stance, I do believe it is reasonable to say that Booker had NO IDEA what was in store for them. Reasonably, I imagine that he thought they would take the necessary samples from each person, run some tests, and then they would all be let go and contacted with the eventual results. The reason for the secrecy and betrayal was because he knew no one would willingly go and out themselves like that because of the Risks of it becoming widely known that they were essentially immortal. And he likely would have turned himself in only, but with Copley/Merricks insistence to have everyone, it probably made sense to Booker that yeah, okay, maybe there’s something different about the older ones, who knows, and Andy is the OG immortal so, kinda makes sense that some samples should come from her. also he did think that she would have wanted answers as well at least. what I’m TRYING to say is I really don’t think Booker knew that Joe and Nicky would be tortured when they were grabbed and he probably had no idea that the intent was to keep them as eternal lab rats. He just thought that they would finally get some Answers. While his betrayal was still ultimately a betrayal, and he absolutely deserved to face consequences of some kind, I think that his base intentions were genuine and he really didn’t mean for anyone to be so badly hurt (over and over again) and I really think, considering what kind of person Booker seems to be, with the wallowing in grief for CENTURIES and the nihilism and inability to optimistsclly accept his situation and move on, that 100 years in isolation really was not a smart or necessarily fair move by the og. he did not do well on his own/while with the og historically, idk how making him be genuinely and totally alone for another 100 years and taking Andy away from him as she became mortal was wise, especially when he no doubt blames himself for Andy’s mortality even though he was not the direct cause; him shooting her revealed that and was, likely in his mind, the nail in the coffin so to speak (he also straight up said “I killed her”) because he obviously has a Complex and established unhealthy coping mechanisms (PLS drink some water book?? pls??) so what were they thinking?? he genuinely was remorseful and guilty and hated himself and his actions immediately (“just leave me here” u drama queen Booker shut up and get up Jesus) I think they could’ve come up with something that would effectively get the point across while still punishing him. but also I strongly believe the og would not last 100 years and mostly agreed on it because it showed him they were serious. overall for the sequel I’m hoping to high heaven they don’t make him a villain and revengeful for his forced solitude?? and that they welcome him back before the 100 years because he is still family and they love him and what he really needs is love and support and definitely a LOT of therapy.

#ted talk over #phew #can you tell that i love him??#idk how it happened but i guess i have a Type #sigh #booker #sebastien le livre #the old guard #im so sorry in advance #for how this probably reads #the ravings of a madwoman #rip

61 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hi Steph!!! Hope you're doing fine and well!!I've jumped back into the Johnlock fandom and rewatched it again! I'm looking for fics to do with Sherlock being drugged, a drug addict, crazy, insane or trapped in his mind palace. That's about it, thank you!! Take care!

Hey Nonny!

Ahh, welcome back to the fandom, Lovely!! <3 I hope I can help you out!

For Drug fics, I have these lists here:

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Drugs and Drugging Pt 2

Realistic Drugs/Drug Rehab

As for mind palace fics, I’m going to use this opportunity to post up a list of fics relating to Sherlock’s mind palace, just because I did actually start tagging fics with it, so I wanna actually use it, LOL. Feel free, my lovelies, to add your own fics for this or anything Nonny is looking for! Hope y’all like what I got for y’all!

SHERLOCK’S MIND PALACE

A Perfect Figure by ecb327 (K, 622 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, First Person POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Light Angst) – Sherlock build a spot in his mind palace for John.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

Sherlock's Mind Palace by Valkyrie Of The Dead (K+, 1,091 w., 1 Ch. || Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Deaths, Self Reflection) – Sherlock needs to change his mind-palace once again. He had hoped he wouldn't, he had thought he wouldn't, because they were invincible, weren't they?

Ode to a Well-Worn Chair by hogwartswitch (G, 1,274 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TSo3, John’s Chair, Angst, Love Confessions, Mind Palace) – Takes place the night Sherlock left John's wedding early. Why did he move John's chair and where did he move it?

The Simple Separation Will Not Come Between Us by The Circus (T, 1,278 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, MCD, Violence, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Prose) – The choice is simple. Real, and No John. Or Not Real, and John. For a prompt that says 'John dies and Sherlock loses himself in his Mind Palace’

Upon This Throne by ifonlynotnever (T, 1,773 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Angst, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Introspection, Imagery, Pining Sherlock, Drug Use, Passage of Time) – Inside Sherlock's mind is a Palace. Inside the Palace are many rooms. Within the largest room is the Throne. Upon the Throne sits the King.

The Three-Word Tin Collection by TheBookshelfDweller (K, 1,885 w., 1 Ch. || First Person Sherlock POV, Mild Pining, Angst, Romance, Hiatus) – What happens when Sherlock has to store the things he wants to say to John while deconstructing Moriarty's web, but the Mind palace proves an inadequate place to store them?

Duvet (green) by Mazarin221b (G, 2,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-THoB, Mind Palace, Revelations, First Kiss) – Sherlock recalibrates and restructures his mind palace so it looks like 221b. What he chooses to put in John's room is a bit of a surprise, and a revelation.

A Room of One's Own by whitchry9 (K+, 2,174 w., 5 Ch. || S2 Timeline, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Coma, John Whump, Worried Sherlock, POV John, Angst, Friendship/Bromance, Hospital) – When a severe head injury lands John in a coma, somehow he ends up in Sherlock's mind palace. It's actually pretty nice there, and John is entertaining the notion of staying there, rather than returning to his broken body. But Sherlock isn't taking it as well, and John can feel him breaking around him.

Heart's a Mess by svenjastrange (NR, 2,249 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Sherlock’s Mind Palace) – Sherlock's heart is a mess.

Green Carnation by glenien (T, 2,616 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Meta-Fic, Angst and Fluff, Communication, Post-TAB) – John takes Sherlock home. Part 1 of It’s No Longer Eighteen Ninety-Five

The Trial of Sherlock Holmes by jenna221b (G, 3,015 w. across 3 works || TAB!lock, Metafic / TJLC, Victorian AU / 1895, Christmas, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Oscar Wilde) – Scripts based on speculation that Sherlock will be put on trial in The Abominable Bride to parallel the Oscar Wilde Trials of 1895.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., 1 Ch. || Confessions, Physics, Metaphors, Texting, Pining, Christmas, Mind Palace, Sick Fic, Fluff, Humour, Praise Kink) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

Nineteen Seconds of Falling by EmmyAngua (T, 3,739 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Falling in Love) – Sherlock spends exactly nineteen seconds zoned out after John asks him to be best man. He retreats to his mind palace in the desperate hope of figuring out what he wants, unfortunately for him his mind palace is full of people who keep trying to give him advice.

Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Singing/Music, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Humour, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss) – After the music halls of Sherlock's mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he'd rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.

Sink Like a Stone by pennydreadful (T, 4,348 w., 1 Ch. || Angst / Dark, Cuddling/Snuggling) – After defeating Moriarty at the pool, life isn't quite the same around 221B Baker Street...it's more peaceful. And stranger.

Times Two by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 5,595 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Victorian John, Modern John, Sherlock has a Good Imagination, PWP, Bottomlock, Spitroasting) – “But you’re not that John…”“Of course I am,” John’s lips and mustache brush against Sherlock’s mouth as he talks. “All us Johns are that John, now. That John is in every room in your Palace.” He leans in for another messy kiss, tongue swirling all around the inside of Sherlock’s mouth. “In fact,” he moves to suck on the sensitive skin underneath Sherlock’s ear. “I think I hear him coming right now.”

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

Better Than Fiction by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 6,813 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Masturbation, BJ’s, First Time / Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Anal) – ...he opens his eyes, but instead of seeing John he is staring at his bedroom ceiling, the pale plaster a startling contrast from the scene in his head. It had felt so real. He can only imagine what the feel of John’s lips would be like, his taste. But luckily for him, he thinks with a smirk, he’s always had a brilliant imagination.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Sherlock's Head, John's Heart by Altego (T, 17,252 w., 7 Ch. || Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Heavy Bromance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Mary is Nice, Friendship) – After Mary dies, John tries to cope, and Sherlock blames himself but tries to make John understand how important John is in his life.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #sherlock's mind palace #Anonymous #my fic recs #pining sherlock

104 notes · View notes