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robinismywifee · 1 year

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stargazing || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader carl grimes x oc x enid rhee (platonic bffs) daughter!oc x father!daryl dixon

summary TWD & TLOU crossover, takes place in alexandria basically if the group never met negan, daryl and aaron find joel and ellie and bring them in, 16 y/o ellie, mention of a not that important death in season 6 of TWD

warnings NSFW, dom!ellie, fingering, pet names (babe), smoking weed, mentions of drinking, ellie & oc are both virgins

a/n im mainly saying oc instead of reader because im using a name for her, (aimees/aime) cause i hate writing y/n but feel free to pretend its your name instead! any feedback & notes are appreciated, you may send requests but they have to be TWD or TLOU charaters x reader otherwise i wont do them, (no promises in general) this is my first tumblr post still trying to figure tumblr, out sorry if i fucked it up or something, i also dont proof read so theres probably a couple mistakes sorry 😭

wordcount 7.5k

carl placed down a red uno card, i smiled at that, placing down my red 5, "uno!" i shouted, holding the card close to my chest so they couldnt peek, my smile was soon dropped as enid placed down a green 2, i stood up placing my card down, revealing my red 4 to them, "i already lost" i mumbled, "rage quiter" carl called me, "im not a rage quitter! im just done playing with cheaters" i crossed my arms

"you so are a rage quitter aimees!" enid exclaimed, "and you so are a cheater!" i exclaimed back, "how are we cheating?" carl asked, "uh, cause you guys just are" i shrugged

"yeah right" carl scoffed jokingly

i watched them as they finished playing their uno game, enid ended up winning, "what time is it?" enid asked as she collected the messy cards around the table and placed them in the box

"uhhh.." i stood up, peeking my head in the kitchen to check the clock, "9:45" i yawned, i had woken up at 5am to go on a run and my eyes were getting heavy, ive been waiting for dad to get back but he hasnt yet.

"i think im gonna head back" i said, one thing about me is that even after being here for almost a year now, i still havent gotten use to sleeping in a real bed, at night in a real house, and i still have yet to call where i was staying, 'my home'

"yeah, me too" enid stood up aswell, "uhm.. enid?" i asked her, she knew what i was about to ask immediately, i hated sleeping alone, anytime my dad was out, i would ask enid to sleepover with me

enid gave me a sad-eyed look, "im sorry amiees, but i told maggie and glenn i'd be home for tonight" i shook my head with a small smile, "no worries, goodnight enid" i waves her off, she gave me a slight nod before she existed the house

i walked into the kicthen, carl was placing the snacks away, "hey" i said, he looked over his shoulder, his white eyepatch covering his old wound, "hey, i thought you weny home, whats up?" he asked, turning to face me

"could you please stay with me tonight? daryl hasnt gotten back yet, and enid needed to get home" i asked, "yea, let me just write my dad a note" he nodded with a smile

"hey, aimees" i heard a voice shake me awake, the sudden touch made me shot up and pull out my pocket knife that was under my pillow, but i immediately put it down when i realized it was just carl

"shit, you scared me" i panted, placing my knife back under my pillow, "sorry, i didnt mean to, but its almost 6:30 and im pretty sure your dads home" he said, his eye was tired and his hair was scruffy, meaning he had just woken up, but the topic of my dad made me shot out of bed, only in my socks, pajama plaid pants, and a thickstrap white tanktop without a bra, carl wore a grey hanley shirt and sweatpants

i opened up my door and ran down the steps, my dad was in the kicthen, talking to some other people but i didnt really care about them or have time to see who it was, i just ran up to my dad and hugged him which he of course hug back

"fuck you, you said you'd be back in a day!" i exclaimed as i pulled away, "i know, im sorry aimees, the storm slowed us down" he replied looking down at me, i knew the reason why he took an extra day was because of the rain storm but i couldnt care less, i still worried the worse possible thing

"i dont really care dad, you still said a day" i said with my head tilted, i wasnt actually mad, and he knew that, i was just annoyed that it took longer then normal and missed him

"yeah, i know, i missed you too" he rubbed my back gently, "can we have breakfast together? or are you gonna go back out again" i asked, "uh.." he hummed, i sighed, thinking he had to go back out again, but his gaze was around the room and not on me, i thought maybe he was looking at carl, but im always with either him or enid when he gets back

i turned my head to see what he was looking at, 2 people i've never seen before stood awkwardly a couple feet away from me, there was a man about the same age as my dad, and a girl about my age, the girl wore a white tanktop similar to mine with a white bandage around her right arm, with black skinny jeans, and converse. she had a side bang and her brown hair in a ponytail

"uh-" i stood there for a moment, before looking back to my dad, "are these the people?" i asked, he nodded slightly, i glanced back over to them, and back at my dad, "why are they here?" i asked, over the months, my dad and aaron have been bringing people and even a whole community back, they never once came to our house right, i mean maybe a few says after to stop by and say thanks or whatever, but they had just gotten here and were standing in our kicthen, dirt and sweat stuck to their skin

"ricks still out with michonne so i was tellin them the rules, and you're gonna give ellie some of your clothes" he pointed briefly at the girl, i turned back around, i nodded, i turned my head back to see carl standing there awkwardly too, "im ellie" the girl waved, her face was red, she. must be hot, i went to intruduce myself but the girl bumped her elbow into the man, motioning for him to intruduce himself, "im joel" he said, "hi.. im carl" carl said, standing behind me, "im aime" i smiled, i was actually quite happy dad brought home a girl my age, although carl and enid denied them dating, i still felt like i was always third wheeling

"aimees, why dont you go show them to their house next door, i havent slept in days" i didnt have time to reply as he walked off

"okay.." i mumbled, i looked down to my pajamas hanging over my socks, "uh, could you guys give us a second?" i asked, looking at joel and ellie, joel gave a stern nod, i looked over at carl, grabbing his wrist and led him away with me, i could feel the girls eyes on me as i left.

"i hated meeting new people before the dead started walking, and i hate it even more now" i whispered to carl as we walked up the steps, "yeah, i can tell" he said sarcastically, i shoved him as he hit the wall which made us both laugh

carl changed in my bathroom, as i changed in my room, putting on jeans, a bra, my shoes, and my holster with my gun and knife

"you coming with me to give them a tour right?" i asked carl, looking at him, "nah" he shrugged, i hit his shoulder, "yes you are" i yelled whispered, before we entered the kitchen, joel was in the same spot, while ellie was close up at an old family photo of me, my dad, and my mom

"sorry for the wait, we just woke up" i spoke, causing ellie and joel to look up from my sudden voice, "lets go" i nodded, as they followed me out my house

"uh, so, your guy's house is right next to mine" i said as i began to walk up the steps of the empty house, "hey aimees, im gonna go see if enid and maggie need help with the fence" he said from behind joel and ellie, ellie glanced at carl, but joels eyes stayed locked on ellie, i slowly died inside when he said that, i could tell ellie was looking at me but i still flipped off carl as he walked away with a smirk

"so where you guys from?" i asked, "houston" joel answered, that explains the accent, "boston" ellie answered, i looked at them confused, "oh you guys arent father and daughter? how do you know each other?" i asked, "long story" ellie answered, "okay, well, i mean.. this is your house, uhh, i dont think theres any blankets in your bedrooms and theres not any food, clothes or shower stuff, so you guys can like, i dont know, get situated? while i ran around alexandria and collect you guys a bunch of shit" i shrugged, unsure of what else to say

they both nodded, "ill try not to take to long, ill be back in maybe 30 minutes?" i said, unsure myself of how long it would take, "okay, thank you aime" joel nodded, "oh, uh, i know i introduced myself as aime but actually call me aimees, nobody calls me aime its actually kinda weird.. okay, see you" i said as i speed walked out the house

i walked in my house and let out the biggest sigh.

that was the most awkwardest thing ever.

i walked to my room, and took out about half my clothes for ellie, she only had a small school bookbag, so she probably only had a pair of underwear and some socks in there, if she was gonna live here now, she needed clothes

i folded them up, i was giving her my dark blue tanktop with spaghetti straps that was starting to fade, a grey tanktop with thick straps, a tan hanley that was too tight to fit me, a plaid flannel, light blue jeans, jean shorts, plaid pajama pants, 2 pairs of underwear, a black bra, and a pair of thick white socks. i hope thats good enough

i grabbed a basket and set everything in it, i opened the closet next to my bathroom, placing body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the basket, along with 2 toothbrushes, 2 things of toothpaste, and a razor and tampons for ellie

i figured i'd drop what i had off right now since they we're probably dying for a shower, plus the basket was over flowing

i knocked on there door, but nobody came, i went to knock again but a voice from inside came- "COMING!" i could tell by the voice that it was ellie, as joels is 10 times deeper and has no emotion

i waited for a moment before the door opened, "hi ellie" i greeted, she stood there looking at me for a moment, she seemed she was deep in thought, "oh! sorry, come in" she said, opening the door wider, i smiled walking in, she shut the door behind me, "i- i dont have everything right i just brought clothes and shower stuff since i figured that was probably the first thing you would want to do, and while your showering i was gonna get the rest" i said, basket in hand

"oh- right- yeah, thank you" she said, taking the basket from me, "i didnt bring any clothes for joel cause i dont know where to get him any and my dad was asleep, but ill work on finding him stuff" i added, she nodded looking up at me, "hes passed out right now, and probably will be for the rest of the day" she shrugged, i laughed at her saying it so serious, she laughed with me, "okay, well, enjoy your shower.. im supposed to tell you to not use up too much hot water, but knock yourself out, i mean, i know on my first day i did" i said before i left her house

its been a 3 days since ellie and joel joined alexandria, ellie hasnt really gone outside at all, i havent really seen her since the first day of her being here, only through our windows, our rooms are both upstairs and our windows face eachother, they have blinds but i didnt realize her room was the one across from mine until i was about to sneak out of my window for a smoke the other night

joel been out a lot more then ellie, asking ways to help out, joel was scary, i avoided him, but to be fair, i avoided everyone who wasnt from the orginal group or who wasnt in alexandria when we got there

just like deanna had done for us way back at the start, carol was throwing a welcome party for ellie and joel, i knew carol didnt really care for them joining us, it was just her way of making herself seem like an innocent sweetheart. i admired her tactics, but i definitely was not looking forward to it.

"you guys are going to the party right?" i asked carl and enid, "my dads gonna make me" carl answered, i looked over to enid, she shrugged, "i dont know"

carl smiled, as we both looked at enid for an answer, "still don't know if ill go, i always thought it was stupid and weird when deanna had them and now carols having them?" enid said, "okay well, youll be missing out" i sighed

here i was, walking to the house with open doors and music pouring out of it, my dad was by my side, "you know, ellies also 16, you should try to be friends with her" he said, "yea, yea, yea, i know thats the only thing youve been telling me for the past 2 weeks, 'oh youll love her, you guys would be best friends, she annoys the shit out of this guy like how you annoy the shit out of me'" i mocked my dads deep voice, thinking back to how he would come back from spying on them to see if they were safe and tell me about ellie

"she hasnt come out of her shell yet, but i do really think you'd make a great pair" he said as we walked into the house, "im gonna go get a drink and find rick, go find ellie" he pushed me into the crowd, i scoffed, he acts like hes social when i know damn well the only people he'll be talking to is rick and carol.

i searched the crowd for carl, i couldnt find him but i did see ellie with her arms crossed talking with joel, she looked so uncomfortable and so did he, god do i feel bad

i walked through the crowd, making my way to them, while i was making my way to them, some people pulled joel away to get a drink- or whatever adults do

ellie looked clueless

"hey" i said, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know i was there over the loud music, she jumped and looked at me, "oh, hi" she said, i could hear the nervousness in her voice, "im sorry about all this, you're practically being forced to go somewhere you dont want go to and forced to talk with people you dont know, i told rick and carol you guys werent the party type but they insisted it was the 'polite thing to do'" i explained, putting airquotes for my last words

ellie seemed to soften a bit at my words, "uh- yea, its just super weird going to a party when 5 days ago you were sweating your ass off trying to find a place to stay the night" she said, looking around, "yeah, trust me, i know how you feel, we didnt create this place, me and my group got taken in by aaron and his boyfriend, the leader at the time was named deanna, she threw a party for us too, and when she died, the leader of my group took over to be the leader of alexandria.. rick" i explained

"wheres your boyfriend?" ellie randomly asked, i furred my brows, "what?" i asked, "uh, the one with the long hair and eyepatch" she asked, "carl?" i asked in a high pitch questioning voics, "oh, yeah, carl" she nodded, "carl?" i asked again, she thinks im dating carl? "yeah?" she asked confused, "oh god, me and carl are like siblings, never in infinity years would we ever date! im gonna puke just thinking of that!" i exaggerated, "oh sorry, its just, my first day here, you guys came out of the same room together in your pajamas and stuff"

"oh! yea, he just slept over, i hate being alone" i explained, "me too" she said with a smile, "sorry, but can we please go somwhere else? i cant stand this crowd" i asked, she nodded, i took her hand in mine, dragging her through the crowd until i found carols bedroom, she wouldnt mind us being in here

"what do you like? any hobbies?" i asked, sitting on the edge of carols bed, ellie sat down next to me, "i love comics, joel somehow finds the best ones, and i have a notebook that i write and draw in" she said happily, "oh no shit? i love comics and drawing too!" i said back with a smile

"so have you and joel been with each other for awhile? he seems pretty protective over you" i asked, "just like, 3 years, but i cant imagine my life without him" she smiled, "i cant imagine my life without my dad, or without a lot of the orginal group, like rick, glenn, carl, carol, maggie, michonne, half the people here are my family"

i spent the whole night talking with ellie, she was actually really nice and funny, we told eachother a bunch of our crazy/scary stories from over the years, and what it was like for life before it

carl and enid never showed up, i told her a lot about them, more so carl since me and carl have been together since the start, we grew up together and i dont know what i would do if he died

but we had stayed after hours not realizing the party ended, still in carols room, she opened the door with an exhausted look, she didnt notice us, me and ellie side eyed eachother before we bursted out laughing

that seemed to be a reoccurring occurrence between the two of us, we both kept on bursting out laughing at stupid stuff

but at the sight of ellie, carol put on her sweetheart face again, "oh! girls, im sorry i didnt know you were in here" she said, bringing a hand to her chest, "the parties over?" i asked, after calming down from laughter, "yes, it just ended, and joel was looking for you ellie, you better get back home before he starts to worry more" carol said with a smile, "yeah, thanks for the party mrs.." ellie said as we stood up, "just call me carol, oh and you too aimees, daryl was wandering around for you" she smiled with a nod

and with that me and ellie left her house, as soon as we got out of her house i let out a giggle, "its the end of the world and you're still worried about manners?" i thought outloud, thinking back to how she tried to call carol mrs, "hey! you never know, some adults are really strict about that stuff" she defended

"okay, i guess ill see you tomorrow?" i asked, as we made it infront of her house, "yea sound-" ellie was interrupted with joel yelling her name, "ellie! i looked everywhere for you! where were you? i havent seen you since the party started-"

i just smiled at joels protectiveness and slipped myself away and went back to my house

"hey dad" i smiled, seeing him on the couch, "oh good, i was waiting for you to come back so i could sleep" he said getting up, "you seem happy?" he questioned, i hated parties, so this was weird that i was smiling a bunch after one, "yeah! i hung out with ellie the whole time, shes really funny! i really like her" i said with a hudge grin, "told you, you'd like her" he nodded, not supprised

"so was it just the two of you or was carl and enid there? i didnt see them tonight" he asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter, "just us, i have no idea where carl and enid are, which kind of sucks since i wanted ellie to meet them, but also its good because i really enjoyed hanging out with her alone" i said, my voice bright from talking with ellie for hours

"im glad you had fun" he nodded with a smile, "oh! do you wanna know what! now when i hangout with carl and enid, ellie will be there, so i dont have to third wheel, i mean they were always being so gross infront of me like complimenting each other and stuff, like ew, and now me and ellie can be grossed out together!" i said happily, my dad laughed, "im glad we found ellie and joel too, can you please tell me more in the morning over breakfast? im ready for bed"

"yea, of course, goodnight dad, i love you" i said, giving him a quick hug, "love you sweetheart, get to bed too, its way past when you should be asleep" he said, kissing me on my head, "yea.. yea, whatever" i mumbled sarcasticly as he walked to his bedroom

i turned off the lights and went to my bedroom, i unbuttoned my jeans and went to pull them off when i felt something in my pocket, i sighed, forgetting i had it, as i pulled out the bag of joints

this would have been perfect for me and ellie, would of been 10x funner.

but, i wasnt tired, and now that i was holding up the rolled up cannabis, i really, really wanted it.

i thought about carl and enid, enids never been high before, but me and carl have a few times, and i don't even know where they are. maybe i can have just one joint to myself..

another thing i do on nights when im not tired, is go to my roof and look at the stars, usually while i smoke cigarettes but weeds even better.

i looked out my window to see that the sky was clear, i smiled to myself, i walked over and turned off my lamp, okay, only one. i placed the other two joints in the bag in between my folded shirt in my dresser, letting the one joint hang in between my lips

i opened up my window, cringing at the squeeked noise, i stuck my legs out, letting myself fall onto the roof, i climbed to the back of my house still on the roof so i was facing the big fence and not out in the open, the only way people would be able to see me is if someone specifically looked in my direction through ellies window

i pulled out my lighter and lit the weed, sucking the toxins into my lungs before blowing out

i sat there for a couple minutes looking at the stars above me, they always fasanated me, i looked to the moon, it was a full moon tonight, of maybe it was a just a full waning or waxing gibbous, i dont know to be honest

the sound of a window opening drawed my attention, i shot my head to the sound, joint in between my lips, to see ellie climbing out of her window

i watched as she hopped onto her roof, shutting her window, and hopped from her roof to mine, as our houses were really close together, she let out a pant, from being out of breath

"hey" she said as she stood there above me, she had already changed into pajamas, wearing plaid baggy ones that were too long for her, ones that were previously mine, and she wore the grey thick strapped tanktop i had also given her

her hair was down, something ive never seen of ellie, some of her auburn hair was over shoulders while some was on her back, they reached a couple inches unde her shoulders and her eyes glistened in the moonlight

"uh, aimees? you barley smoked any of that, you good?" she asked with a smile on her face, "oh, yea, im-" i started saying, realizing i just stared at her, but i spoke really loud as i talked not realizing how loud i was being, "shh! come on, i dont want joel or your dad to wake up" she whisper shouted

"right, sorry" i whispered back, she came over to me and sat down, "can i?" she asked, reaching her hand out, i passed her the joint, and watched her as she looked up to the sky, while taking a long drag of it, she closed her eyes as she sucked it, enjoying the feeling

my eyes were beading onto her, watching every detail on her face, the way her eyebrows slightly scrunched as she sucked in, or how she squeezed her eyes, how her soft pink lips fitted against the rolling paper. i was so close to her our shoulders were brushing against each other, and i noticed things about her that i havent noticed before, she had beautiful green eyes, ive noticed her eyes being not brown before, but now i could actually see what color they were, and her freckles complimented her face so well, they danced all around her cheeks and the tip of her button nose. i even got to exaime her brown eyebrows, i could see the slit she had through it, her eyebrows were also pretty straight, but they looked so perfect on her. her side profile was honestly the best ive ever seen in my whole life. the way her lips moved out, how her adorable nose arched perfectly and how- wait are her lips moving?

"aimees?" she asked, okay yeah they were, "sorry, what?" i asked, looking into her eyes, "you zoned out on me again" she commented, "sorry its just, you look really pretty" i said, still mesmerizing her in a trance, she turned to me, i could see her cheeks turning a shade of pink, before she looked back infront of us

thats kind of weird, i mean, i was just saying she looked pretty, i say that to enid all the time and she just compliments me back or says thanks, but ellie got flustered for some reason and tried to hide her face with no comments

we passed the weed arond in silence for a moment, "you do this a lot?" she asked, "usually just with cigarettes, but i got lucky and found this on a run a few weeks ago.. i love the stars"

"i love the moon" she remarked, i looked to her with a smile on my face, "if i could anywhere i'd go there" she said, looking at the moon above her, "can i come with?" i asked, she turned to me, our faces inches apart, "yeah but.. be aware, joels coming too, and hes a big grump sometimes" she answered, i laughed at that, giggling as i rested my forehead on her shoulder to contain myself, i hear giggles come from her too

"okay, shh, shh we have to be quiet" i whispered, leaning back up to face her, "youre telling me to be quiet? youre the one who started laughing!" she said with a smile as the joint hung between her fingers, "urhg, give me that" i said, taking the joint from her and puffing a few

"its not my fault, you make me laugh more then like, anyone ive ever met" i said after a couple seconds in silence, "really?" she asked looking back to me, "mhm" i nodded, letting out another giggle at nothing, which caused ellie to giggle with me too, we fell onto eachother laughing up a storm, "oh! oh my god! i cant breath!" ellie said inbetween laughs, "stop!" i cried, gripping her thigh for support, trying to catch my breath

we kept on laughing like that for probably too long, after a few minutes, i ended up even closer then before, our laughter dying down but smiles still held on our faces

"whats your last name?" i asked her out of the blue, which caused us to laugh a little some more, "williams?" she sid in a questioning tone, "w-why did you say it like that? are you sure thats your last name or did you make it up because-"

"no! no! thats real, my last name is williams, i was just- cause you asked so randomly!" she explained, "okay, well, ellie williams, you-" i said, pointing at her and using a tone for the word you, "-are my new favorite person"

"and you- aime-" she stopped for a moment, "whats your last name?" she whispered, "dixon" i whispered back, "you! aime dixon, are my new favorite person" she said, usuing a tone and pointing at me for you like i did, but usuing a tone and pointing at herself for me

this caused us both to laugh again, i guess weed made us a bit giggly, we seemed to be eliciting laughter not matter what

"you know what we should do?" i asked, "hmm?" she hummed, i took a puff a weed, noticing it was almost all gone, "we should get married"

i noticed her cheeks start to turn red, "i mean, how could i not want to marry you! look how cute you are with your blushing" i said with a hudge smile, "i accept, mrs williams" ellie said to me with blush still wearing her face, "aime williams! hm, i like the sound of that!" i laughed

"hey, i have idea" i said, looking down at the blunt, "yea wife?" she asked, "my dear husband, we could finish this joint in one puff, shall i shotgun it to you?" i asked with a smirk, "first of all, wife, im your wife, secondly, i dont know what that is" she deadpanned, i let out a couple giggles from her

"okay, well if im the wife, how can you be the wife? anyways, why dont i just show you what a shotgun is?" i offered, still smirking, "hmm, okay fine" she said with a smile, unsure with what was to come

i smirked devilishly, i blew the rest of the joint into my mouth, before flicking it off the house, i brought my hands to ellies face, moving her face to mine, my eyes were closed but i could tell she was blushing

ellies mouth was slightly ajar in shock, so i blew the smoke into her mouth, the feeling of her warm, soft, silk lips, her nose tickling with mine and the way my stomach was attacking itself with a swarm of butterflies from us touching like this

the weed did something to me, because i couldnt help myself, and without any thoughts, only the feeling of want, i pressed my lips more firm to hers, and moved them onto hers, my lips were dancing on hers and she didnt move.

i lifted my lips up for a split second, releasing the smoke from our mouths, i pulled away, realizing what i had just done, my eyes started to feel with tears looking down at her, my hands still holding her face, only inches away. i was so goddamn embarrassed and mad at myself. why the fuck would i do that? i dont even like girls, im not gay, and i definitely dont like a girl i just met 4 days ago. it had to be the weed because im not a lesbian, and judged by the complete silence between us, and ellies face, she isnt eithe-

my angered thoughts were interrupted as ellie leaned into me, tilted her head as she pressed her blushed face to mine, now our lips danced together, i could smell her breath, it smelt of mint toothpaste and marijuana, but i wanted more of it, i wanted to taste it

as ellies hands gripped my shoulders, and mine gripped her face, i brushed my tongue against her lips, getting a slight taste of her, she didnt open her mouth, so i took my left hand from her cheek and placed it on her waist, rubbing her skin and plulling her closer to me, the sudden contact made her mouth open slightly, and i took that as an opportunity to slip my tongue into hers

not only was the smell of marijuana filling my nose, but the smell of the shampoo i gave her was lingering, i think the scent was lavander, either way, it smelt good, delicious, and i wanted even more

i honestly was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy, so i pulled away for a moment, i sucked in the air to catch my breath, but my mouth was covered again by ellies lips

this time, her tongue filled my mouth, our tongues danced, as i started to fall backwards from her leaning on me, i felt so carried away and a feeling i never felt before filled my body

i pulled away from her, standing up and dragging her up with me, we had our foreheads pressed together, panting, "come on" i whispered, as i looked into her red eyes, i pulled away from our embrace, taking her hand in mind, pulling her to the side of my window, i climbed in first, helping her climb in too

once she got in, i shut the window and shut the blinds, our light pants cramming the room, i turned around to for a pair of hands pressing against my waist and shoving me against the wall, i was met once again with her lips

i couldn't help, from the sudden action, and melting deep into the kiss, and the feeling of her hands rubbing on me, i let out a small moan into her mouth, i hadnt realized it until it already left

my cheeks went red from embarrassment, hoping she didnt hear, but she pulled away, i couldnt bare to look her in her eyes, i stared at the ground, looking down at our socked feet on the carpet

ellies right hand moved off of my waist, i thought she was about to freak out and leave or something, but she placed a hand on my chin, and lifted it so my face was forced to meet hers, i expected her face to be filled with disgust, but she had a smirk on her face, her freckled cheeks bright red

"dont be shy, you have a pretty voice" she whispered, butterflies formed my heat. not my stomach, but below.

i looked at her dumbfounded, i never felt this way before. i didnt know what was going to happen after all this, what me and ellies relationship would be by tomorrow, i didnt know if i was gay- but i did know that i wanted more of her touch, i wanted to feel her touch, not only on me, but in me.

i pulled pulled the back of her neck onto my face to be met with mine, our kiss even more passionate then before, my knees felt so weak, like i could collapse at any moment, so my hands were balled into a fist gripping her tankop. her hands were squeezing my skin, i couldnt help it, i wanted to feel more of her skin

i lifted my left hand from her tanktop, and lowered them to the hem of it, before i stuck my hand underneath, trailing my hand against her skin, i stopped once my hand got to her bra, unsure of how far she wanted this to go, but her hand lifted from my waist and pulled my wrist up and underneath her bra, allowing me to feel her shape and soft skin

instead of ellies hand resting back on my waist, she snaked it under my jeans, and i felt her squeeze my ass, i had to pull away from our kiss as i let out a grunt, it would have probably came out a moan if i didnt keep my mouth squeezed shut and tried to hold it

we made out rubbing eachother for a few moments before ellies hand slid out of my jeans, i was disappointed until i felt her hands yank at the waist of my jeans, they were still unbuttoned so all she did was slid them off of me, i broke our kiss to step out of them

ellies hands went straight to the back of my bare theighs, "jump" she grunted, her voice deep and raspy, i did what she said, i jumped so my legs were wrapped around her waist as she still held me up by my theighs

as we shared a sloppy yet passionate kiss, i felt my back lift from the wall, ellie brough us across the room, and i felt myself get dropped into my bed

i could see ellie from the moon that lit our room, she crawled ontop of me, hovering over me as our hands and lips connected once again to eachother

she trailed her kiss to my jawline, i felt like i was to explode, i tilted my head so she could get more of my neck

i shouldnt be doing this, but i want to, but dads downstairs, hes asleep, but im high, we both are

my own thoughts fought eachother, i tried to bring myself to stop it, but i couldnt.

my fingertips rested on the fabric of ellies tanktop, i pulled her away for a moment, pulling off the grey top over her head, my eyes went straight to her body, and god did i feel faint.

she had a grey calvin klein sports bra on, my mouth was starting to water.

ellies hands went to my tanktop, i lifted my arms so that she could pull them over my head, i was nervous, especially since i didnt have a bra on, but i wanted it too much to stop

ellie and i stared at eachothers bodies for a moment, she leaned back in and connected her lips straight to my sweetspot of my neck, at the same time her hand went and messaged my boob, ellie was doing things to me because i couldn't even hold in my moans anymore

ellie left a trail of bruises down my neck as she went down more, and connected her lips to my nipple, my hand went to the back of her hair, squeezing her roots, right when i did so i could faintly hear ellie moan into my skin- she likes hair pulling, noted

ellie kissed my one breast and messaged my other, as i squirmed under her holding her hair

"ellie.." i whisper-moaned. "yea, babe?" she mumbled through her kisses, i felt hotter from her nickname, "please.." i whispered, i couldnt handle it anymore

ellie brought her hand and rested it between my legs, but it was inches away from my core, i squeezed my thighs together to try to make some sort of friction, but ellie moved her hands and pressed my knees away from eachother, "please what?" she asked in a dominant voicd, she obviously knew what i wanted, but wanted to hear me say it

"please-" i tried to get a full sentance out in one go, but that was near impossible, my fingertips rested on ellies pants, streching the fabric wanting them off, i was completely topless and had my pants off, yet ellie had a bra on and pants

ellie got off of me for a moment, taking her pants off, which i silently thanked her in my head for, "please what?" she asked again, her voice more raspy then before, "touch me" i moaned, she smirked, leaning in and kissing me again, i missed her lips and the taste of them

she rubbed her hand up slowly, her finger brushing against my cunt. without even thinking, my hand shot to ellies hand that was in between my theighs, and pushed it more towards it

as ellie grunted, she moved my underwear to the side, letting her fingers drag along my slit, "this wet for me baby?" she panted, "all for you" i replied, instantly connecting our lips after

ellie teased me, tracing her fingers up and down my wetness, i sunk my hips down more, trying to get more, ellie broke our kiss with a small laugh, she gave my lips another sweet kiss before she pulled away from my face, i looked up at her confused but my confused face was shortly changed to arousal, as she slipped her middle finger partly inside me

she slowly pumped her finger more into me, causing my head to go back on my pillow, ive touch myself before, but nobody had ever touched me, this was a complete new experience for me

as she pumped them in and out, i felt her start to grind her hips onto my theigh, all the fricton, i started to let out more and more moans, my mouth was closed so they werent as loud

i felt her add her ring finger in me, and curling them around my walls, her hips grinding with more pressure,i let my jaw fall, and furred my eyebrows as i moaned, ellies hand went straight to my mouth, covering any noises that escaped.. i realized for a split second that- oh that was really loud and could of easily woke up my dad- but the feeling of her fingers twirling around in me made me instantly forget about it

i couldnt help but start to grind onto her fingers, rocking my hips up and down. ellies hand slowly moved off of my mouth to grip on my hip, letting out a moans with me, her voice was so hot it made me even wetter. she then moved her hand down even more, i thought it couldnt get any better but she started to rub my clit

"mmfpph.. ell- ellie- i-" i screched, i felt my stomach tie into a tight knot, my body froze as i squeezed my eyes, while my hips stopped moving, ellies hands only sped up, and her hips started to move faster, practically jumping up and down on me, "ellie" i whinned, my eyes rolling back as i felt myself release, ellie grinded on me until her hips froze, "hh- hfphmhmm"ellie moaned, also coming to a finish, i watched her as she leaned her head back, mouth ajar, eyebrow's squishing together.

the room was filled with heavy pants- our chests going up and down as if we just had a near death experience

we stared at eachother trying to catch our breaths, ellies hair was clouding all around her face, her hair falling to her shoulders, really messy compared to how it was an hour ago, in which it was neatly brushed

ellie looked so beautiful, but there were two things i realized as i stared at her

1. we are still high as shit

2. ellie williams, a girl i met a few days ago, just fucked me

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chl3borzoi · 1 year

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SOOOOO i blocked my sister

Youre entitled to not like family after theyve done shit things.

Yes, my sister was a great resource when i was i my preteens letting me live with her during the summer, and for getting on my brothers for their behavior when i was in my early early teens but by that point it was kinda far too late

The thing that did it was on Thanksgiving last year she came with a woman weve never met before thats shes only known for 4 months saying theyre getting married in 2 weeks and moving to texas immediately after.

Our brother and his partner brought them out to lunch and tried to say hey we think youre going kinda fast you should take more time to get to know each other etc. They flat out told him theyre not invited to the wedding. Then when she gets home after that, she comes downstairs to find me and tells me theyre getting married, and she leans in and whispers "you're inviiiiteeeed~"

Shes in her early 30's

The thing is our MOM couldnt even attend because it was such short notice. And the marriage place couldnt get the shitty zoom stream to work. Our mom had to watch a recording of the service.

I looked out the deck window and saw her lying on her back on the porch watching the video and I knew her heart was broken.

Like. Christ im gonna put it all out there

I could tell stories of how my sister used to make me cry as a child, too. And where our parents failed to parent and the eldest should have taken the place of responsibility and etc she didnt give a fuck and YES a child should never have to act a parent role thats shitty but she was 15+ yrs old she shoulda fucking known better. (I have literally my entire family to blame for almost all of my issues, But still. During my crucial years i really do feel she did not care, and it didn't help that between me and her we have 3 THREE brothers who (one of which legitimately hated me ) too)) I DIGRESS

She let our childhood home turn into a jungle because she was too busy sitting in sweatpants smoking pot and drinking starbucks and begging our mom for more money to be put on her account,

(its all torn down, now too.)

We havent spoken very much,

Mostly just snapchats here and there

And a few days ago she sent me a chat on here saying shes revamping her account and wants to be active on here, so i blocked her.

Not only because i want tumblr to be an escape from personal real life shit but because i don't really wanna communicate or be reminded of her selfish dumb behavior.

Shes extremely hard to communicate with in person, too. Literally! I feel like im crazy trying to explain it. Shes so slow... it feels like trying to have a convo with her sometimes it feels like shes unintentionally gaslighting you. I know that sounds dumb but im fuckin serious.

She was so helpless when we helped her move, too. Pacing back and forth and fretting over all her shit (we're a packrat family yeah but holy fuck shes gonna end up being a fuckin hoarder) and me and our mom were just lifting stuff and carrying it out like :/

Sheesh

I don't hate her or wish her or her wife any ill will, its just. Fuck man. Walk in, break our moms heart (as if it isnt already broken after all the shit weve been thru as a family...) and act like everythings fine and perfect.

Also I literally witnessed my sister do/say this to her wife

"Hey, -blank-, come fight this pokemon go tournament for me."

?!?!?!??!?

She was like "okay :D" but still thats so fucking bizarre

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alltheangstmygifttoyou · 2 years

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So like, I knew that the last six or seven times I went to make a tumblr post something got me distracted and discarding the draft not liking where whatever I was saying was going (or just knowing that even i wouldn't be able to understand whatever the hell i was saying, which happens often unfortunately). But fuck mothers day feels like agggggeeeesss ago. So June. Turned 21. Still can't get an appointment with the cardiologist. Getting an mri to check for a pontenial miscrospic tumor in my pituitary gland. Boy that was stressful the week all I knew was maybe brain tumor is the problem. Apperantly even if it turns out I do have the microscopic tumor its fine, just check on it once year like my thyroid to make sure it stays tiny. Doctor said every 10 out of a hundred people have this (why she didn't simplify it to 1 in ten idk but im going to assume the doctor knows what they're saying more than I do.) And it normally doesn't grow. My strength and appetite are steadily improving, although bending over or squatting sucks the energy from me rapidly. Other than that there was a tiny amount of family drama but everything I witnessed was civil enough so that was cool. I have no creativity still, and stamina for any sort of writing/drawing is gone. Havent been able to make myself use my laptop in weeks once again. But I did find an app for my phone to have it read my own documents to me which is soothing and helps keep it all fresh in my mind. Been using prompt books to try and think about original fiction again. Don't know if I mentioned taking a summer class and then dropping it but that happened. I am starting to wonder if my repetitive days of mostly isolation and internet access is how seniors in nursing homes feel. Because I'm starting to understand why no one wants to go to one even if it means more help around. There's so much stuff I could be doing but my mind and body don't cooperate and its just my own thoughts and something else running something im not paying attention to. Normally taking refusge in my mind just means daydreaming, but no creativity = no daydreaming. All of this to say: here's what little I've gotten myself to do

Content warnings: skull imagery?

I've been playing with stamps and how I can mess with them. Also a little painting of a butterfly and cat. Drawing notes for class, new pen colors, and a story idea for a tau fic brainstormed and has not been touched since. Messing around with my washi tape. Want to start working on making collages and multimedia works to try and spark inspiration (and feel less guilty for barely touching hundreds of dollars in art supplies). Organizing is still a thing, need to hurry it up if I want the garage sale to happen mid July. There's just so much. Like, my toddler toy bin has been uncovered and I have to try hard not to be sentimental and keep a bunch of old toys that I will never touch again because memories. Anyway its almost one in the morning so im going to bed. I hope you all have been doing well (or as well as one can in these times...) and I wish you all motivation for your wips!

#art #life update #still unemployed #tw skull #health progress for me #it shouldn't have taken 45 minutes to write this post

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asscreeds · 3 years

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Heila - Chapter 1

“Heila,” an Old Norse verb meaning “to heal.”

Self-insert F!Eivor/Reader fic where the reader is a Dane from a clan with an unhinged leader that lands them in a heap of trouble, and are captured by Saxons after a failed raid. Eivor rescues the mortally wounded reader from certain death & with a little help from the Raven Clan, they are nursed back to health, and Eivor and Reader grow a little closer via helping eachother to overcome their traumas. Then inevitable lesbian pining and one or two (a little horny) dream sequences that suggest Eivor and the reader have actually known eachother for a very, very long time.

Reader is DFAB and uses she/her pronouns.

There are very specific trigger warnings for this chapter that are only referenced to later on in the story - graphic descriptions of violence, physical & psychological t/orture, religious fanaticism, wh/ipping, v/omit, blood, and minor/background character d/eath.

Read on AO3. i havent rlly posted fanfiction before on tumblr be nice to me

The morning waves broke calmly against the eastern shore of Cent, the salty sea breeze & sting of sand against your face and arms both familiar and calming to you; despite being weeks away from the place you once called home, it seemed the ocean would never change, no matter where you went. You could hear seabirds cry above you, and the gentle bustle of your impromptu settlement as your clanmates began to stir and prepare for the day to come. This was not your home, nor your intended destination when you had departed from your homeland - but, hopefully, you & your clan would make a home out of it yet. Originally you were to sail to Normandy but an unexpected and powerful storm threw your ship off course & you'd landed somewhere in England, according to your navigator, Vilmar.

Sitting around & watching the sun rise would not do much to help your people build a base camp. Before you could even get up, you heard footsteps in the sand behind you, and turned to find Gunnar. "There you are, y/n!" he bellowed, helping you to your feet as you giggled. "We've been looking for you for a meeting - needing your level head and all. We need supplies quickly," he said, quickly guiding you to your leader's tent, the both of you somehow avoiding bumping into clansmen carrying lumber, goods and the like. "Oh, needing my guidance for once, Gunnar? Or are you going to suggest we ride into the heart of a storm again?" you jested, elbowing his side as you walked up the green hillside. He made some sort of huffing sound, like a grumpy animal, and simply ushered you into the tent where your leader Frederik & Vilmar were already arguing.

"We need supplies, Vilmar! Else we'll all starve by the end of the week!" Frederik growled, slamming his fist into the table, sending little carved statuettes out of their places on the map.

Vilmar moved to speak, then saw you and Gunnar standing at the entrance of the tent, visibly deflating & waving the two of you over. "Hello Gunnar, y/n." Your arrival didn't seem to placate Frederik at all…

Vilmar continued with his thought. "I know we need supplies, Frederik, but the risks outweigh all rewards at the moment. We musn't rush in blindly going a-vikingr, we must make allies first and set up a trade route," he said, rearranging the statuettes to their original places. "We've sent scouts out to every corner of this kingdom, as far as we could, and every single one has come back with word of a potential allyship, and a warning that every single village here is armed to the teeth. We cannot afford to raid right now."

Frederik seethed quietly, seemingly first accepting Vilmar's words, then growing even more agitated. "And how long will it take,Vilmar, to establish a trade route?" he spat, staring down at the other man with something unreadable behind his eyes. Vilmar held his stare, then looked down at the map. "...A week."

The effect was instantaneous. Before you could even get a word in, Frederik stormed out of the tent, leaving the three of you bewildered, confused & frightened. You knew Frederik could be hellfire at his worst, and he'd always been obsessed with the tales of glory & kings that were told to children, and you had always chalked it up to him barely being 22 winters old, but this was something else. Sharing a worried look with your friends, you chased after him, & were met with a small crowd that had already gathered in the center of the encampment. Frederik's clear & raucous voice rang out over your clansmen, and you saw him pacing back & forth on a wooden platform. Like a king.

"Hear me, kinsmen! We may have landed in a strange land, but it is not an unknown land! We are upon the shores of England, the holy country," he spat out the world 'holy' like an insult, "and we are not the first Danes to do so, and we will not be the last. England is the same as any other land - full & ripe of pickings for the vikingr. Any and all of the able-bodied, you will ride the waterhorse with me to their Christ-House, and we will deprive them of their stores & silver!"

No, no, no, no, no. This was suicide.

Frederik leapt down from the platform, immediately heading for the armory, his wolf-fur cape billowing behind him as if he were a great hero from the old tales, though you knew he was anything but . This was not a good plan, nor a sound plan. He was insane if he thought a band of two dozen sea-soaked & exhausted Danes could pillage a monastery & live to tell the tale. You rushed ahead & grabbed his arm. He did not look at you.

"Frederik, please! Listen to me! This will not end well for you, nor for this clan! Follow through with Vilmar's plan instead, please, I am begging you -" you cried, and were met with the man shaking you off as if you were a fly. He turned to you with a wild look in his eye, forcing himself in your space, close enough for you to finally smell the ale on his breath & to see the dullness in his honey-brown eyes. "I have seen great glory in my dreams, y/n. I will not be denied it." You didn't know what to say, staring at him in shock. He looked at you again, and decided something, muttering something under his breath. "You will ride with me," he growled.

This shocked you out of whatever daze you were in. "What? No! I…" you yelped, but he had already turned from you and stormed off again. This was not good. You were never an adept fighter. Sure, you had trained once or twice in your early years, but you would never call yourself a drengr. But to go against your leader's word & break your oath to him would be a worse fate, consigning you to Helheim. Begrudgingly, you went off in search of armor & a weapon, the distant sound of thunder rumbling in the sky.

A few hours had passed, and to the best of all of your abilities, your clan had mustered up a small yet intimidating army. Maybe things would go right, and you'll topple their church like a house of cards, but you couldn't shake the ever-present feeling of something being wrong. Finishing the warrior-braid in your hair and tying it with a leather strip, you donned the leather & fur armor handed to you by Runa, your weaponsmith. It did not fit you perfectly, but still fit, and would serve its purpose and protect you yet from whatever weapons the English would use to defend themselves. Your weapons of choice, an axe & a flail, hung from the belt around your waist heavily, and you were not used to the weight of them. A shield adorned with your clans symbol, the stag, laid against your back like a mockery of a security blanket. Taking a swig of mead to warm your belly & calm your nerves, you give one last glance to your tent & personal belongings - the dried flower & a bag of jewelry (that you've had to hide from your kinsmen many times) from your mother, a lovingly-written & tear-stained letter from your father, among other things given to you by your friends & family as parting gifts before your departure from Denmark.

You did not know it would be the last time you would see them.

Taking a deep breath, you exited your tent and headed for the shore, where many of your clan had already hopped into the three longships, painted red & blue, the stark coloration of the paint looking even brighter against the dark waves of the sea. Were you looking at them any other time, you would have called the scene pretty, but not while you had to wade through knee-deep oceanwater to try and scramble up the side of one of them. You struggled for a bit before a hand grasped your arm and pulled you up, and you heard a familiar voice. "y/n? What are you doing here? You should be staying here, with the women & children!" Gunnar spoke, his voice hushed so that the figure of Frederik somewhere behind him could not hear. You could only send him a sad but stern look. "Frederik insisted." He looked at you for far too long, and you could almost hear him thinking - he knew that you were not a drengr, either. He made some sort of soft sound & pulled you fully up onto the boat, and turned back to face forward in his seat. You could not read the expression on his face.

You sat next to him, both looking forward to Frederik, who turned around as the rest of the drengr boarded the ships, his face somber for a split second before shifting to another, more spry and almost violent expression. His voice rang out against the waves, his blonde hair had already begun falling out of his warrior-braid, sending tendrils of it flying in the wind, and his iron armor shone brightly when the sun allowed it. He was a picturesque vikingr, one you would see in the margins of fairytale books.

"Hear me, kinsmen! Today we sail for Raculf Monastery, upon the Northeastern Shore, for glory & for life! For there it is where we will find the supplies we need to replace those we lost in that dreadful storm, and there is where we will succeed! I know many of you have become doubtful, but fear not - I have dreamt of these moments and seen the glory within, and I have all of my faith in the nine Nornir that we will prevail!" he quaked, earning a few rejoiced battle cries from those around you, and even you felt a little energized, his words setting a newfound battlelust within you that you didn't know you even had.

Your clan set sail immediately, the wind from the brewing storm to the south boosting your speed on the short journey to the monastery. It would only take an hour or two to get there, if Vilmar's predictions were correct. Nervously you checked your weapons, feeling & testing the sharpness of your axe's blade-edge, and Gunnar gently elbowed your side. "Never took you for an axe woman," he said with a light chuckle, sending you an uneasy smile. You couldn't bring yourself to match it. "I have never been forced to choose, Gunnar."

His smile dropped momentarily, then returned, albeit a bit smaller, and he turned to you fully. His blue eyes shone with confidence. "Listen, y/n. I know you are worried as I am, but I have faith in both Frederik & the Gods that everything will go right for us this day," he said, gently setting his huge hand on your shoulder and giving a friendly shake. Slowly, you returned his smile. Maybe so.

It was difficult, however, to be so confident & blindly trusting in Frederik & your luck when the storm roared behind you, moving just as fast if not faster than the longships. Too soon you had seen the white pires of the monastery in view, the columns of smoke from countless houses & other buildings rising high into the air as the monastery's denizens continued their lives unaware to the coming danger, and too soon had you heard Frederik's voice over the roar of the sea again. It began to rain heavily, soaking through the leather of your armor and chilling your bones. You felt as if you were in a dream.

"Look there, men! Our prize, to be split open & savored! Prepare yourselves!" he roared, and it seemed like you had blinked and were suddenly upon the shore: the sails lowered, and just as Frederik blew into his horn, a deafening crack of thunder prevailed your raid, and a fire had already started, the hay-roof of a villager's home struck by lightning. Frederik gave a booming laugh, joyous & strong. "Thor is with us!"

And like that, you and your three-dozen clansmen descended upon the monastery, moving together like some unstoppable force. Taken off guard the Saxon warriors had little time to prepare for the assault, and many were immediately fell by the first wave of your brethren; thankfully you were at the back, but this left you open to attack from reinforcements - hopefully they would not come. You quickly entered some sort of fugue state where it felt like you were not truly there, not truly controlling your body, letting your arm guide itself, your axe cutting the chests & necks of already weakened Saxons, spilling red red bubbling blood - was this the battle fury felt by berserkir?

You did not enjoy it. You did not find glory in taking these men's lives.

By the time you had advanced closer to the church, many of the buildings were already set ablaze, the smell of wood-smoke & hair burning making you choke. Not even the pouring rain could douse the fires. All at once you were overwhelmed by the sensations, the sounds - iron clashing, battle cries, the screaming of civilians caught in crossfire - it was too much. You felt yourself shake. But you pressed on, finishing the weak off as before, checking corpses (both of your clansmen and Saxons, though notably more of the latter) as quickly as you could to make sure none of them were breathing - you did not know what you would do if you did find one still alive, either kill him or spare him - and, thankfully, you were never injured. Somewhere along the line you had reunited with Gunnar, and you helped him finish off the last of the Saxon warriors, to which he gave a grateful nod towards you, then a nod to the church. Come with me.

The locked timber doors of the monastery's inner sanctum were no match for the wrath of the vikingr, and crumbled as easily as any other. You both had finally breached the walls of the church when you heard Frederik's victorious cry, and when you turned the corner you could see why - barrels upon barrels and boxes upon boxes of supplies, food, raw materials, and the like.

You had done it. You had won, raided a monastery, and lived to tell the tale. You felt yourself let out a breath and breathe deeply in, something that felt entirely alien to you, as if you had not taken a breath in your entire life. You felt as if you could pass out on the spot. This alerted Frederik of your presence, and he turned to you and Gunnar immediately, wild-eyed and ecstatic. "We have done it, my drengr! Here is our lifeblood!" You couldn't match his enthusiasm, standing as still as a statue, but managed to let out a light chuckle. You had done it.

The chuckle turned into a scream as two arrows pierced your shoulder from behind.

Frederik let go of you and you crumpled to the floor with a sharp cry, taken aback as a dozen or so more Saxons forced themselves through the church's doors, and another had a knife to Gunnar's throat. Reinforcements.

If they had gotten to the three of you, who knows what became of the rest of your clansmen.

You writhed on the marble flooring, your blood staining the tiles red as you tried to gain your footing, your breathing, anything to keep you grounded in this world and alive as your body could not stand to produce adrenaline anymore from the strenuous and long battle, the sharp pain of the arrows lodged between your shoulder blade & your spine making it hard to do anything but lay there. At least it had not been your head.

You felt a boot come down upon your back, knocking the wind out of you again, and a hand tangled itself in your hair, pulling harshly against your scalp to raise you up from the floor - seemingly higher than you've ever been - and another hand came to pull your arms behind your back, as if you could even hope to try and break free. A Saxon, a zealot, you would later say, stepped forward from the rest towards Frederik.

"Hail, heathen," he spat, the rustle of his gilded armor & the voice behind his helmet too loud, too harsh against the once-peaceful quiet of the church. You squeezed your eyes shut. "What brings you here to this House of God, to commit acts of heresy? Tell me why I should not slay you and all of your kin for defiling this place." Thunder roared outside the church, stained glass windows shaking with the sound.

Frederik seemed in shock & at a loss for words. He took a breath, then two, and the Saxon grew impatient. "Speak, worm."

"I, I - we came here for supplies, and -"

"And you thought you could pillage and raid and steal, or maybe you have tried to make peace and were rejected and thought this was the answer. I've heard the same story and the same lie from the other dozens of you Danes that I have slain. I want you to tell me. Why should I not slay you?" You were suddenly very aware of how much of your blood was outside of your body on the floor, where it should not be, and you felt bile bubble up in your throat, saliva drooling from your mouth as if you were a sick animal.

Frederik could not respond. In his mind, he did what he thought was best, not for his clan, but for him; he ran.

At once arrows were drawn upon him, but the Saxon merely waved an arm & they were dismissed. "Ah, I love a good coward. Let him run & tell other Danes of his failure. Let him live with it. Take the others to Canterbury to be converted."

You were again jostled around, catching a glimpse of Gunnar in your periphery, who had cast his gaze down at the ground with a blank stare. You both had the same thought.

He left us.

Before you could finally let yourself pass out from shock, you felt a hand on your jaw, turning your head this way and that. "You're a pretty one, eh? Not a fighter like the others. What are you doing out here with these barbarians?" The Saxon from before. You couldn't meet the man's gaze, locking eyes for a just a second before you looked to the floor again. He gave a light chuckle. Thankfully, he said no more, and you felt yourself grow weaker and weaker as you and your kinsmen were bound & loaded into carts like animals, the rain having let up, only lightly sprinkling now. You fell asleep and dreamt nothing. It was both a blessing & a curse.

You all sat there quietly for the remainder of the morning, any attempt at conversation harshly shushed by a well-armored guard standing nearby on watch. From what you could see, he was bored… as if these circumstances were normal to him. Capturing & abusing prisoners. These Saxons were a new ugly.

When you awoke, you were corralled in some sort of cage with a few others, and you could feel the morning sun beating down on your back. You went to move but were suddenly reminded of the arrows still present in your back and let out a wheezing, pained sound, frightening some of your clansmen around you, waking up others. They had not sustained much injury in the battle aside from bruises and little cuts - your injury, amongst all of those still alive, was the worst. The Saxons had not even been so courteous to break off the shafts, and the nauseating feeling of the arrowheads moving between your muscles as you sat up nearly made you wretch onto the dirt. You were not used to pain like this. Among the others in your cage - all women - you found Hanne, Runa's daughter; Ulla, who you truly didn't know her origins but she could fight like a bear; and little Lissi, a winter younger than you, and in almost the same boat, though she had trained for combat for several seasons now. They all sent you sorrowful looks as blood began to drip from your nose & mouth onto your front, staining your tunic further. Tunic? You looked down. The Saxons had stripped you of your armor, at some point when you were asleep. Figures.

At some point, maybe during noon or after, bells sang from the church on the hillside, and a small, squirrely-looking old man had come down to bring all of you some dry bread & bowls of water. It was not a filling meal but you ate it gratefully regardless. He looked upon you & your kith, bound & shackled and being handfed like dogs, with great pity. An hour passed, and you were all allowed to relieve yourselves, though for some it had come too late. Then dusk came, and a different man approached your cages, followed closely by another armored Saxon. The man spoke in a strange tongue from an open book with a cross on the front, and from what English you understood you supposed it was some sort of rite, or blessing, or maybe a curse. Then they both went away, and you were all left alone for the night. They had not treated your injuries, nor given you anything to eat past the bread & water from midday. You thought of those back at the settlement, and hoped that they were safe… they did not deserve this mistreatment. And then you thought of Frederik, and a new fury from somewhere deep within you came to light. That fucking ergi. Abandoning his people. Maybe he had gone back to them, alone, and the thought of it made your blood boil - what lies would he tell them? It did not even matter if he told them, there would not be enough men left to rescue you. You looked up to the world around you in the cage, ignoring the burning of the arrows, and studied the night sky, and how the lights of the city reflected against the villager's homes, and how the moon seemed to give the church its own glow. This is what Frederik gave me , you thought. Consigned to die in a cage, locked up by an animal by the Saxons. Or worse. You saw a lone crow circling the church's highest point. And to yourself, you made an oath.

I will see to it that the coward faces what he has broken.

Another day went by, the same as the last, and then another. Some priests came by in the early morning of the second day and finally rid your back of the two arrows, though they did not truly clean the wounds, only simply broke off the shafts & quelled the bleeding. You were all only fed bread and water. On the third day, you refused your "meal," partly because of your burning hatred of Frederik to do anything properly, partly because of the fever that had set in and worsened rapidly over a few hours. You did not feel like yourself.

As you did every day, you sat still in the corner of the cage & observed villagers, soldiers, priests & pilgrims pass by, like a dog staring from the back of a kennel. Today, however, you were given the chance to see two new faces pass by - two new outlander faces. One of a tanned man with a beard in strange white & red gear, who looked upon you & your kith with a strange expression, and a tall, hooded woman with bear fur draped about her shoulders. A Norseman, plain in sight, and none of the Saxons in the city had even batted an eye at the pair. She looked at you with pity first, then her brows furrowed, and muttered something to her companion, who gave a short reply. They continued up the hill to the church - pilgrims, maybe? Doubtful.

An hour passed, and then two, then three, and another priest approached your cages. He spoke of conversion, some rite, and honestly you'd tuned him out after the first few words. Suddenly he turned to you, and the ice-blue of his eyes shocked you still. "Will you accept the love of God into your heart?"

You didn't know what to say. This felt like an insult, after all these people have put you through. You made up your mind quickly. Maybe it was your fever speaking for you. "No."

He made another sort of sad face, and then was suddenly shadowed by the same Saxon that had cornered Frederik, back at the monastery.

"Then we will make an example out of you yet, little heathen." You did not have time to prepare for the pair of armored guards dragging you out of the cage, your arms still bound behind your back, and maybe kicking and screaming was not the best reaction, given one of them suddenly backhanded you and shocked you into quietness. A handful of villagers had heard & perhaps caught a glimpse of the debacle and stopped to stare for a moment, before another heavily armed Saxon waved them away. You were brought away from your kinsmen closer to the church, where a foreboding column of wood jutted out of the center of a clearing. Its purpose was made clear as you were made to kneel and your arms were tied to the bough of it, in mockery of a praying position. Public humiliation. Or worse.

Unfortunately worse. A notable crowd had gathered, and though you could not see them, you could hear them mutter amongst themselves somewhere behind you. Some cheered for your punishment, some began to cry, knowing what was coming. The Saxon zealot circled you twice. You did not meet his gaze.

When he spoke, he bellowed his words so that the crowd may hear. "Here we have the little Dane, a fork-tongued thing that has dared to cast aside the love of God! What heresy," he said, his words poisoned with sarcasm & mockery. Somewhere to your left, you heard the squirrely-man's voice call out for mercy. "Please, Eadwulf! This is not the way of God!" Eadwulf simply waved the man away. "These pagans killed more than two dozen of our men at Raculf. Only one death of theirs is a kindness." Death? Oh, no. You did not sign up for this. You don't deserve this. You found a new will to live in the way you squirmed against the bonds to no avail. Fuck.

Eadwulf prowled somewhere behind you, and you felt sweat dripping down your brow. You heard a chain, or a whip maybe, rattling, and the sound of the crowd's murmurs growing louder, and how the entire city seemed to grow quieter. This is not how I am meant to die.

"If you will not accept the love of God, heathen, then bend to his wrath." How poetic. The first slash was unexpected, painful, making your entire body seize up as if you were dropped into both boiling & freezing water as the cloth & skin between your shoulder blades split, fresh blood spilling down the already-stained tunic. The second came only a few seconds after, worse than the first, and you let out a scream loud enough to frighten a flock of crows from a nearby tree. You felt warmth on your back. Whenever you moved, you could feel the lashes rubbing against the dirty & coarse clothing, made doubly worse by the dull, throbbing pain of the arrows. The third came nearly half a minute later, unexpected, and you screamed again. Then the fourth, fifth & sixth came in quick succession. You felt bile rise in your throat, spilling out onto the too-soft grass beneath you, onto the lumber in front of you. The seventh, eight, ninth and tenth came and went, and in your shocked, adrenaline-addled state, you barely felt them. You felt yourself grow weaker against the pole, the too-warm sensation of your own blood running down your back almost a comfort. Eadwulf said something else, you don't quite remember, and then the crowd dispersed. You were left there to die a martyr.

You don't know exactly when you had passed out, but you awoke during the quiet coolness of the night to a blurry image of the strange hooded Norse woman in front of you, cursing. "Are you still alive, kona? Stay with me," she said, voice somehow strained yet comforting all the same. You could only barely lift your head to look her in the eye, to which she cursed a little more colorfully. "I'm getting you out of here." She cut you loose from the wood, and helped you to stand (which you could barely do) before realizing that wasn't really an option. Cursing even more colorfully, a feat you didn't know she could accomplish, she took her hood off & draped it over your back, making you sharply inhale as the cloth stuck to the dried blood at your back. "I know, little crow. I know it hurts, but please, you must stay with me." She whistled faintly, and a black horse came trotting over, giving you a weary look. Even the animals had pity! Or maybe it didn't want some half-dead creature on it's back. Either way, she set you on the saddle, sitting behind you so that you didn't fall off during the ride, apologizing immediately for any discomfort the position might cause you. Before she could grasp the reins, you stopped her.

"Please…" your voice was hoarse, and you did not recognize it. "Please, my friends, my kin… are they still imprisoned?" The woman made some sort of sound, as if she had forgotten of the others she passed by today. "Yes, they are, but I fear it will be some time before they are freed. When we get back to my home, I will send my best warriors to retrieve them. Does that sound okay?" You could only nod your head, the simple action sending your world off kilter. She bid the horse to trot out of Canterbury to an unknown destination, breaking into a full gallop once you had left the city's boundaries. Both you and the Norsewoman understood you had mere hours left. She tried to keep you awake on the journey, asking questions about your name, clan and where you were from, though she mostly got one-worded answers.

"Are you a Dane?" "Yes." You pass over a bridge, the woods of England looking all the same to you.

"Why have you come here?" "Storm." An answer she didn't understand at the time, but continued regardless. The landscape slowly changed from forest to open plain, then to forest, then to marsh. You crossed two more bridges. It was your turn to ask the questions.

"What is your name?" Your speech was slurred, more incoherent. "Eivor."

"Why were you in Canterbury?" A question that she did not outright answer. "Looking for someone."

"Where are we going?"

"Ravensthorpe." A place you did not know, nor seen on any map. "We're almost there. Stay with me."

You couldn't fight to stay awake anymore. "I'm sorry," was all you said before slumping forward on her horse.

She thought you'd died, grabbing hold of your wrist and feeling a wave of relief at finding your faint pulse. She rode twice as hard to her home then, only taking another hour.

When you awoke, you were not dead, nor in your own bed, and could feel bandages straining around your chest, and the scent of herbs filled your senses.

#i copy-pasted the raw html directly from ao3 which was copypasted from google docs so the formatting might be a little wonky #ac valhalla #valhalla #my writing #eivor #lady eivor #f!eivor x reader #eivor x reader #tumblr pls dont block it again.....#ac valhalla spoilers

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mycptsdrecovery · 3 years

Note

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

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wavesmp3 · 3 years

Text

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding.

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that)

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing...

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth.

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” / “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.” it hurts so bad im sorry

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!” I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.”

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b

this whole part... chills bro

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao

#oasis #mine #not sure what else to tag this lol #oh #directors commentary #this got so long for no reason

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rinamoe · 3 years

Text

**** Hogwarts Mystery Year 6 Chapter 45+ Spoilers / Theories

I've got some theories on the whole Merula is the mole thing. I've been reading some on tumblr when I finished the chapter. But also thought of some I havent seen, so I wanted to compile a list of all my theories.

1. Merula is the mole but she isn't doing it for bad reasons.

• When you think about how Merula has always viewed the MC as competition, its a no brainer to think she would play the MC for a chance to become more powerful. BUT during the course of 6 years their relationship has grown closer and she was even able to be the MC love interest several times. She also flirted with the MC and becomes shy when talking about crushes. She was also struck with revenge in wanting to avenge Rowan. And even almost killed Rakepick during the last cursed vault but was stopped by Jacob. I think if she was willing to kill someone whos in an organization she's so called committed to she would've been put to death had they found out. Merula could easily be trying to use R as a way to gain more power then betray them. She also used the truth potion to try to convince MC she wasn't the mole.

2. Merula is actually the mole

• Merula although I love her could actually be the mole. She could have been faking her relationship with the MC this whole time as a way to get closer to her without seeming too desperate. Notice key things like the fact that R has to somehow convince MC to join them. R knows the MC is powerful, impressionable, and want to use her. What better way to get someone to pretend to be her friend. Someone the MC trusts enough but wouldn't be suspicious about. Because Merula over the years before R was mentioned has always disliked MC. So Merula being caught hanging around shady people or being mean to her sometimes wouldn't be suspicious. As well as even though we have known Merula, amd could date Merula since year 6. We still dont have a friendship with her in the tab to gain friendship. So even if in game MC says she thinks of Merula as a friend, it can be the game showing that Merula never thought of MC as a friend and probably never will because she was betraying the MC. This is my least favorite theorie I've thought about since the last chapter of year 6 but it may be the one the game pushes.

3. Merula is being framed

• The option Merula stans around the world are praying and begging for. I have seen this theory a lot as well as thought about it myself. Merula could be being framed two ways Ive thought of.

Sitaution 1 : Someone is using a polyjuice potion to pretend to be Merula in front of R. This obviously means it has to be someone close to her because they need to consistently be collecting her hair/dna. And I say consistently because the dark witch who met 'Merula' said, "Late as usual". Which means they have been meeting up a few other times in order for the dark witch to inquire that 'Merula' is always late. This can be due to the imposters bad puncture OR because they have to sneak around since they're pretending to be someone else and are careful they aren't seen, which can lead to them being late. In this case R doesn't know that this isn't the real Merula Snyde but someone pretending to be her because of her obvious reputation of wanting to be powerful and being mean to the MC.

Situation 2: Merula is being framed BUT only that time during the last chapter of year 6. What if the mole knew that Mundungus Fletcher is somewhat of a friend of MC and purposely leaked information where he could find it and warn the MC. This would have had to be planned because the only way to pretend to be someone else is through a polyjuice potion. It also has to be someone like Jae or Ben who have connections to him or was with MC when doing deals. Dont forget once Ben turned into a 'bad boy' he was said to be hanging around the shady parts to 'find Rakepick.' Also on the topic of Ben, he was one of the friends who said they should disband the circle of Khanna. Ben knows R is out to get MC and that Rakepick wasn't the only member involved. And he knows about the hostage too. Which makes Ben a big suspect.

OR the dark witch was specifically asking around to make the MC interested in tailing them so that the MC could PURPOSELY overhear them talking. This still requires a polyjuice potion so they planned this at least a month in advance. But the dark witch and the imposter knew that the MC would be at the meeting place (which even though no one was around still in the public). All they had to do was pretend as if they're Merula and leave. Which we all know ployjuice potion wears off pretty quickly, and their meeting was quick then they left together.

This last one is the one I'm hoping for the most of course since I am a huge Merula stan and she deserves better honestly. She had this character growth and development, as well as shes always been a lobe interest and personally involved in lots of side challenges. (Unlike Ben a big suspect) Basically throwing her progress away by making her be actually working for R would be such a bad decision on JC part.

Also adding: Ben personality change could be his real personality all along. He probably didnt plan for Rowan to die or maybe he did.... Rakepick was aiming for Ben but if Ben was working for R and is powerful like they're making it seem he probably would have doged that attack but Rowan got in the way. Unless he also knew Rowan was following them and suspected they would get involved.

As well as another personality change, Merula. This and her newly aquired skill, wandless magic is what makes her look like a suspect. Since the books on wandless magic are in the restricted section at school that would mean Merula would have had to have access to 'illegal' books. Although since her parents are in Azkaban they probably had owned 'illegal' books and such at her home already. But then that begs the question why did she just learn it now and not the previous summer's going home? Why now when she's being caught in cahoots with R members? As well as shes acting much more mature but as well as distant. She came to the new school year celebration late. And also according to the MC been hard to track down.

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on what I think is happening with Merula in Hogwarts mystery! Id love to hear what you think. Ive been playing this game since it came out but this was so interesting i had to make a blog to talk about year 7

#hphm spoilers #hphm #hphm merula #hogwarts mystery merula #merula snyde #hphm mole #jam city #jc

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awkbo0b · 4 years

Text

Two of a Kind:2

A/N: Thanks for everyone who is reading and thank you for the notes! I havent been active on tumblr for a while but being able to come on here and post an idea I have for a fanfic and having people actually like it warms my heart.

Summary of the first part: Mae is visiting her cousin, Tony, in Outer Banks and little does Mae know, she just ran into JJ! Here’s there link for Two of a Kind:1 if you havent read it yet.

Warnings: underage drinking, usage of drugs, swearing

I join Tony who is now with a group of girls near the fire. “Hey! Hope I didn’t miss much of the party.” I mention as I take a drink of my beer. The girls all smile at me and begin to introduce themselves. I didn’t bother remembering their names since I probably won’t see them again after tonight. The conversation drifts about boys that they go to school with, who they all have crushes on, and some of their plans for the summer. I turn to look at the water to notice that some people have gone swimming. I smile to myself thinking about how beautiful it is here.

“And Mae here is an unique artist,” my attention is pulled when I hear Tony mention my name, “ she is able to turn anything into a complex drawing. It’s truly amazing.”

I smile, “Honestly though, you should see Tony’s photos.” I try to turn to conversation away from me. As much as I love my art, talking about it isn’t something I enjoy. “She normally does landscapes like her parents, but if you put a model in front of of her,” I puff my cheeks and let out a whistle, “it’s breath taking what she can do.” as I compliment Tony I notice her tuck her hair behind her ear. “No need to act bashful T!” I exclaim. Tony raises her nose a little higher, showing her confidence. “If you haven’t seen her work yet, you are really missing out.” I finish off my beer.

“Tony, I knew you painted but how come you never mentioned photography?” The girl standing on the other side of Tony ask, she has pin straight, black hair, and is wearing glasses that look like they are from the 20′s fashion era. I glance at Tony already knowing what she is going to say.

“Well I mean, my parents both are photographers. They capture such unique angles in landscapes. And it kinda feels weird to follow in their foot steps that closely. Look at Mae,” Tony throws her arm in my direction, “her parents are sculptors and she paints and draws. Different medias.” Tony’s word slur together as she speaks.

The girl with black hair give Tony assuring smile that she understands, “I get it, girl.” Her words also slurring together then pulling Tony in for a hug. The sudden wave of emotion fills the small circle.

“Well, before I join in on the touchy feeling stuff, I’m going to grab another beer.” I inform once Tony pulls away.

“I think I better give myself a minute.” Tony hiccups and then raises her bottle, “Once I’m finish with this one of course.” The girls around us giggle and Tony does too.

“Alright dude, I’ll be back.” I make my way towards the coolers. I notice a group of people sitting on a log near the water. A small lantern is lit. I notice blondie and three others, two boys and a girl. As I continue to watch, being the creepy people watcher that I am, I begin to see that they are passing around a joint or blunt. Whatever it is, they are smoking weed.

Once I reach the coolers I come up with an idea. I grab two bottles instead of one and then turn towards blondie and his group. They are all talking and laughing at things that are said as I approach. Blondie, who is sitting on the end, shoots his head up first, then the girl who i can now see has longer curly hair. She offers a friendly smile.

“Hey, you don’t look familiar, Are you a tourist?” The girl ask, then the other two boys look in my direction too. Just as I am about to introduce myself blondie cuts in.

“She’s rude, that’s what she is,” Blondie has a playful smirk on his face. I laugh at the comment.

“I guess I’m technically a tourist, but I wouldn’t consider myself rude.” I wink towards blondie as he take a hit from the blunt, causing him to cough.

“Whoa dude, you’re coughing? who even are you?” says one of the boys as he laughs taking the blunt from blondie and takes a hit. He is wearing an unbutton shirt with a bandanna tied loosely around his neck. His hair has intense volume that would make any girl jealous.

“Shut the fuck up, just inhaled wrong.” blondie mutters still trying to catch his breathe. “And even if you are somehow not rude,” blondie’s voice still strained from the coughing but is now talking normal, “what brings you over here?” He questions me. The blunt continues down the row of friends, ending with the guy with dark chocolate skin.

“Was wondering if I could take a couple hits with you?” my voice ends with a little squeak, a littler nervous as to how blondie will react. All three friends are looking back and forth between us. I let out a small laugh. “I brought a truce,” I hold out the extra bottle of beer towards blondie.

“Hmm,” blondie pulls his hand up to cup his chin to appear as if he is really thinking hard on this one. I bite my lip starting to feel a little awkward. “Mae was your name right?” Blondie takes the bottle from my hand and pants the empty spot next to him,

“Yes, yes it is blondie.” I sit down and the friend from the end passes the blunt to me.

“For the love of god,” blondie places his elbows down on his thighs, shakes his head then looks my way, “please call me JJ.” JJ winks as I take my hit from the blunt.

“JJ it is then.” I try to say in a flirty tone. Everyone laughs and then begins to introduce themselves. I try my hardest to remember these names, because deep down I would want to see them again.

We finished the blunt, the boy with the crazy hair, who i think is John B, claimed he could roll the next one. Kie, the girl, and Pope, the one with chocolate brown skin, laugh at John B as he struggles.

“Come on man. I can do this shit with my eyes closed.” JJ moans throwing his hands up in the air. Another round of laughter roars from us. I remembering that I came here with Tony, who was at her drinking limit when I last saw her about forty-five minutes ago. I look towards the bonfire to see her white dress almost glowing from the moon light. She is dancing with her group of girls, clearly have a good time. “How do you know the misfit kook?” JJ’s voice startles me, even though it was only loud enough for me to hear.

“What do you mean misfit? She seems to be fitting in fine to me.” I look towards JJ genuinely confused as to what he was meaning.

“She moved here two years ago, most of us have been here our whole lives. The kook life style is passed down from generation to generation. People who move here with kids, don’t normally end up fitting in.” JJ explained.

“I feel like I am a perfect example of that.” Kie raises her hand. “I’ve lived here for a while but never seemed to fit in, so here I am with the pogues. Plus the kook life style is too much for me.” Kie scrunches her face in disgust. I nod taking in what both of them are saying.

“She’s my cousin, and my best friend. And I guess I’m kinda getting at what you guys are saying, but we might need to go over it again when I’m sober.” I let out a laugh, and so does everyone else.

“I like this girl.” Pope says.

“Isn’t your family some kind of artist?” John B ask.

“How would you even know, dude.” JJ sneered, earning himself the middle finger from John B.

“I think I remember Sarah mentioned it, dick head.” John responds.

“Actually yes, we are. It kinda runs through the family.” I state.

“Oh yeah, your family is the Clemonds right?” Kie ask almost jumping off the log, “my dad has some of Sadie Clemonds photos in our restaurant!”

“Yep, that’s the family name.” I give Kie a smile.

“Hold up, your whole family is just filled with artist?” JJ ask not believing it.

“Yeah, in some way, shape, or form.” I giggle.

“You’re parents are Chloe and Trenton right?” Kie is now standing she is so excited.

“Yes ma’am,” I answer.

“I would love to see their work sometime”

“I can help arrange that,” I raise my hand to give Kie knuckles.

A/N Hey guys thanks again for all the notes on the first part! I am adding in my author notes for the 3rd part as you read this! I guess this is a good time to say that there will be a slow burn between Mae and JJ. So I hope you all stick around long enough to see it! I’ll be adding a tag #TwoOfAKind to this one so it will be easier to find it.

This might be a little odd but if you guys have any questions about my characters ask them and i can go into more detail about it in the net part! Also if you have any request for something to happen I’m all ears!

Thanks again for reading and for all the notes, 3 part should be up soon. Please continue to like/reblog. Love you all!

UPDATE: I HAVE MOVED THIS FANFIC TO WATTPAD, HERE IS THIS LINK! LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU FOR TE NOTES!

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for-ests · 4 years

Text

Always Enough- Peter Parker x Reader

Okay so this imagine was an anon request that I had previously posted, but I accidentally deleted. I didn't mean to, so here’s a re-upload. Happy finals & sorry my dumbass clicked the wrong button on tumblr mobile because im stupid

Summary (bc the request deleted w/ the post): The reader realizes she had been neglecting Peter because she was stressed over school. Peter thinks there might be another reason because she has become distant. Confrontation and angst follows!

Word count: 2, 360

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Finals were a killer, especially for a nursing major like yourself. The stress of it all made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Cry for hours until you couldn't cry no more.

But that wasn't an option. What you dreamed of becoming, something simple, yet incredibly difficult, was growing out of reach. Your hours of studying had led you nowhere, only to barely tangible grades. Grades that were barely above average. You were disappointed, discouraged, and running out of options.

What else would you do with your life? Becoming a nurse was the only thing you had ever wanted to be, it was all you knew. Ever since aliens rained in the sky, your only motive was to help the ones who couldn't help themselves. But how could you ever hope to do that when you couldn't pass biochem?

What didn't help your anxious mind was the house you had to stress over, and your minimum wage restaurant job that didn't add to your required expertise. Tears welled in your eyes as you remembered you had to lay a payment down on your ever-increasing student loans. Maybe college wasn't for you. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Your summer money was running out and fast.

Just breathe. You repeated. I don't have time to cry.

You could cry after you studied. And right now, you had barely glanced at your flashcards for more than ten minutes. It seemed like you were paralyzed, sitting in bed with your flashcards scattered around you, all of them laid out and waiting for involvement.

Just as you were about to pick up the first card, your phone buzzed beside you. Instinctively, you glanced at it, your heart dropping when you saw Peter's name flash across the screen.

Date. You had a date night, and you forgot.

"Fuck!" You cursed out loud, the tears you had tried so hard to control seeming to burst over your eyelids. How could you forget?

Peter: I'll be there in 15 minutes :D

You replied immediately, glancing at yourself in the phone's reflection. You looked terrible and distraught beyond compare.

Y/N: Peter…im so sorry I forgot, i'm not ready

Peter: oh

Y/N: i have a huge exam soon, maybe its for the best that we rain check? i'm sorry I know ive done this before but im really stressed about it

Peter: we havent talked for days, y/n, i think theres more going on than what youre telling me

Y/N: what? of course not wtf

Peter: im coming over anyways, ill be there soon

Y/N: why?

Peter: we have to talk.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. Those words were what you had been dreading, and all focus you had managed to gather vanished into thin air. You knew you had been neglecting Peter's affections. Even if every fiber in your being wanted to make him the single most important thing in your life.

It had been almost a week since you'd seen him, and honestly, it was painful in the most innocent way.

But Peter didn't have to worry like you did. He was gifted and already had his entire life ahead of him, set in the middle of Stark industries. But you never asked for a handout, you never asked for help. Even though you knew he was the smartest young man around. You were proud to be his, and the thought of that disappearing was more detrimental to you that failing your upcoming exam.

Y/N: ok, front door is open

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at this point. You had been with Peter for over a year and had gone without seeing him for longer, but he was right. This time was different. This was the third date you had canceled without wanting to, but sometimes apologizing wasn't enough. Peter deserved a lengthy explanation of what you were really going through.

You were so used to holding back your emotions, that times like this were an occasional reoccurrence. You had always been so afraid of unloading your burdens onto others that you still sometimes forgot that having a boyfriend came with that perk. He was still going to love and cherish you if you asked for help and advice. Hell, you needed to realize that he wanted to.

That was a factor of why you were so in love with Peter. He always listened, and sometimes, even push the truth out of you when he could tell you needed it.

"You're already crying, huh." A sad smile was on Peter's face as he opened the door. His sudden appearance startled you, and you managed to chuckle despite the circumstances.

"You know me." You sniffled, immediately embarrassed by the state he had caught you in. Instinctively, you brushed your hair to the side and dabbed the tears from under your eyes. You could feel the remnants of Make-up drying to your skin.

"I didn't mean to ruin your study-"

"But we need to talk." You finished, shoving your school supplies to the edge of the bed. You made enough room, so he was able to sit comfortably.

Slightly embarrassed, you kept your gaze averted as best as you could. Just Peter's presence made your heart flutter, and a part of you was trying to prepare for the worst. You might really lose him this time. And for what? Yes, school was incredibly important, so, so important. But so was Peter, and you needed to find a balance.

Your silence was enough to beckon Peter's thoughts into the open.

"I just need to make sure you're still serious… about us." His voice was soft as if it was struggling to stay neutral.

Finally, gaining the courage to look at him, you locked eyes. Peter's gaze was heavy and forthcoming, and it took all of your willpower to swallow the knot in your throat.

"Of course, I am." The conviction was entirely evident in your tone. So much so, that Peter fell silent. His accusations seemed to die in his throat, but he knew that if he didn't get them out now, they would creep back to him later.

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Peter muttered, unable to gaze at your confused expression. You looked so hurt.

Your silence beckoned him to continue.

"I haven't properly talked with you in a week. You've canceled our last three dates… it seems like you never want to hang out with me anymore."

Peter winced. He was a grown man, and he sounded like a child. Yet, he had let so many things slide, hoping you would come around, hoping you would make it up to him. Perhaps he had been selfish to only think of himself in the relationship. He failed to realize that maybe in attempts to please him, you were putting your own future on the line.

"I know you're going through a lot, but you can't even seem to talk about it." Peter's shoulders felt tense, his eyebrows knitting together in an agitated expression. His leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He looked like he was about to burst.

"I'm sorry." You said, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Pausing, you tried to gather your thoughts into cohesive sentences that would soothe his anxious mind.

"There's nobody else, right?" He suddenly blurted, actually turning his head to look at you. Insecurity was glazed in his eyes for the first time.

"Why would you even think that?" You said, startled. The question felt as if he had shoved your head underwater and held it there just long enough for you to choke on the liquid.

His expression was blank for the first time. Vulnerability at its finest. "My life isn't perfect, you know. I overthink just like you. I need reassurance."

Peter was so calm, so calm that it worried you. Though you were already afraid of how this conversation would go, it hurt you to realize that this conversation was the result of your actions. You failed to make Peter feel special like you had promised. Like he had promised you. Relationships go both ways, and for the last couple of weeks, it had only gone one.

"No, Peter. There will never be anyone else."

He sighed, relaxing slightly. "You've been acting weird. I don't really know what to think."

"I told you a billion times, I'm studying. After work, that's literally all I do. And I need to focus."

"I feel like there's more. It feels weird to not see a text from you when I wake up. It feels weird to not hear your voice. I don't… I don't like it, Y/N. Even if that's selfish."

And selfish it was. Peter expected you to be transparent while he was hiding possibly the biggest secret in the world. Maybe that was why he was so worried about how much you loved him. Peter wanted to be honest with you. He wanted you to know he was spider-man, but right now, he still couldn't bring himself to. Perhaps he was looking for a reason.

"I'm sorry." Your hands were clenched in your lap. "I've never had to deal with this before. Everything is so new, even if we've been together for a year. I've never cared about anyone like this, and I can't manage my time."

Peter paused as if every word in this conversation pained him to no end. His eyes were glossy, his mind unclear. He was desperately trying to understand why you were isolating himself. "You can't make any time for me?"

"That's the thing, I can't focus on anything else when I'm with you." Your lip quivered. "And that's a problem."

"It's not for me." He said quickly. "I make time for you, and you don't for me. And you need to tell me why."

You glanced away, embarrassed. No matter what you said, the reason wouldn't be good enough. You were just a bad girlfriend.

Peter reached his hand out and pulled you to him. You rested your chin upon his shoulder, soothed to feel his warmth once again. "You need to tell me, Y/N. We've made it work for this long, and all of a sudden, it stopped."

Your body started to shake. Trying to muffle your sob, you brought your hand to your mouth. It was all too much.

"-You have your whole life together, Peter. I have nothing, I still have to work for it. I'm not as smart as you, I'm-"and that's when the tears started to flow. It was a literal flood, tear after tear poured over your eyelids until they were bloodshot, until pressure pounded through your head.

Before you could finish, your face was pressed against Peter's chest. He held you tightly, his sweatshirt dabbing up your tears of sorrow. You gripped tightly to him, releasing the stress that had been building up inside of you for the last two weeks.

He did not know what else to do. Showing you that he loved you seemed like the most viable option. Sometimes all you had to do was listen, and that was enough.

"I got a bad grade on my midterm exam, one that I didn't study for because I spent my time with you—I thought-"

"Shh." He stroked your hair, understanding what you meant without a complete explanation.

"I work so hard, and it's never enough-"

"It's always enough, Y/N."

"I got so caught up in it that I neglected you in the process. So much so that you thought I was cheating on you" you inhaled sharply, whimpering against him, so many different emotions swirling through your mind. "You're the best thing in my life, and I put you second…"

"Look at me, Y/N." He cupped your cheeks in a swift movement, forcing you to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are enough for me. That's why I bothered to have this conversation with you. That's why I care." He pressed his lips against your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter." You tilted your head up to kiss him wholly on the lips. You were a mess, but Peter had always told you that you looked beautiful when you cried.

"Rosy cheeks." He whispered, patting down your hair, inhaling your scent, and appreciating the beauty you constantly radiated.

You chuckled, sniffling loudly. Peter always said that after you had a successful mental break down, your cheeks brandished a rosy shade.

"Shut up." You whispered, tightening your grip around his torso. His back fell against your bed, and you shifted to lay completely on top of him. The firmness of his chest underneath you caused instant relaxation, instant relief. Maybe, just maybe, being in his presence was enough to get rid of the stress from everyday life.

The corners of your eyes were raw and red, yet it complimented your shade. Peter vowed from the moment he had met you, that he would never let any harm come to you. The last thing Peter had ever expected was that he might be the reason, instead of the world.

At least, for now, he had the power to fix it. You were the love of his life, and he had never felt so gratified to be in anyone else's presence.

Peter's fingers traced light, small circles on your back. He could hear your heartbeat slow. The softness of your finger against his was enough to help him close his eyes.

He was at peace, real peace for the first time in weeks.

"We need to remind ourselves to talk about shit more." You mumbled sleepy, almost inaudible. "So this doesn't happen again, because I hate it."

"Me too, babe." He whispered, content with watching you rise and fall in sync with his breathing.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

#tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker

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ask-the-party-god · 4 years

Text

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

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illusionlock · 5 years

Text

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick!

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

#don't be scared. i am here with you.#smile for me #smile for me game

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parkersvibes · 5 years

Text

finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

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kinktae · 4 years

Note

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain��t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

#ask

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fairyscribbles · 5 years

Text

No More Running. (D.O, Romantic Confession)

By the way my loves, no need to worry about me! I decided to clean my folder and I found a lot of stories that I haven’t posted on tumblr yet, and I am pretty proud of them! So these are things that were written a while ago, but you get to see now! <3

You pushed your feet to go faster, feeling the strain in your muscles as you sped down the dark alleyway. You muted out the gruff yells that were behind you and your mind was only set on one thing- escaping the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You were innocent, and yet it was you who ended up being chased again.

You knew very well who was following you. And you knew they were toying with you. If they would’ve wanted, the vampires would have already ripped your jugular out.

They weren’t doing this for hunger. Oh no, the reason was far more personal than an innocent feeding.

This was an act of revenge, an eye for an eye. But they had the wrong person. You weren’t supposed to be executed for this reason.

You sharply turned left, almost losing your footing as you slammed into the side of the building. You could faintly register the burning on your arm as it scratched against the building, willing yourself to go faster.

This was all just a big mistake. They weren’t supposed to go after you. You weren’t the one closest to Do Kyungsoo, the werewolf they wanted to hurt the most.

Kyungsoo made sure you knew that well.

“Look…” he started, pausing after muttering your name. His eyes were set on the ground.

“This isn’t because of you…”

“Oh, of course not. It’s never me, it’s always you.” You cut him off, your hands balled into fists at your sides. He tried to open his mouth to protest, but you didn’t let him.

“At first, it was about you being different. When I showed you I had absolutely no problem with you being a werewolf, you changed the story to the “enormous” age gap problem.” You stated, crooking your fingers in the air in imaginative quote marks. Kyungsoo’s full lips pursed in a thin line, his brows furrowed.

“Even when I said that three years aren’t that bad, you’ve apparently come up with another one.” Crossing your arms on your chest, you glared at him.

“Let’s hear it, then.” He started out with your name again, and no matter how much you loved hearing it rolling off his lips, you willed yourself not to be affected by it.

“I cannot…I’m too dangerous for you.”

“Oh, that is rich.” You scoffed and Kyungsoo showed his distaste of interrupting him by growling deep in his chest. Sometimes, you forget that Kyungsoo is really a dangerous being, but no one could blame you- he is always so gentle and nice, it isn’t hard to let your mind slip with that little fact that he is able to transform into a great beast.

You pursed your lips, holding in all the other snarky comments until he is finished.

“I’m too dangerous. After all these years, I’ve made too many enemies. They could hurt you to get to me. And the biggest enemy is right in this room.” You lifted your eyebrow in question and Kyungsoo pointed at his chest.

“It’s me. I could hurt you so easily…” he muttered almost to himself, as he lifted his hand and his thumb brushed gently over your cheek. It took all you had not to lean into his touch, as you stared into his eyes, which seemed to be torn by uncertainty.

“Just with a flick of my wrist, I could break you bones…”

“You don’t have to flick anything but your tongue, to let those words out and break my heart.” You added, your voice lowering to his whisper. Pain flashed through his eyes and to your dismay, his hand retreated from your skin. He was already taking steps back, away from you.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.”

You would’ve cried, but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Sadly, you were so used to Kyungsoo walking out on you; it didn’t hurt as much as the last time.

You loved him, and you were sure he loved you back. The fact that after every single time he left, he returned to you made you realize that he was unable to be without you.

Do Kyungsoo’s machinations of his mind were an enigma, you decided, as you stared at the closed door, a thought crept in your head that it might’ve been a metaphor about Kyungsoo.

The closed door might be a metaphor on your relationship with Kyungsoo.

You were left all alone.

And alone, you had to face the two bloodthirsty vampires at your heels. You felt that your muscles started to scream in pain, but you couldn’t allow yourself to slow down. Slowing down mean certain death.

“Think fast, wolf bait!” a crystal clear voice called out behind you and not a second later, a sharp rock came in contact with your scalp. With a yelp, you stumbled but kept your balance. Your head throbbed, and that pain seemed to break down the numbness your brain created when they started chasing you.

You were being chased by vampires. And your only hope, the only one that could save you, turned his back on you.

That didn’t stop you from calling for help.

“Help…” the only word whimpered through your lips and the vile creatures behind you cackled.

“No one will come, sweetie. Stop running and we’ll make it quick.”

I don’t want to make it quick. I want to live, you wanted to tell the vampires, but you knew it would be useless.

“Please, help!” your voice grew louder as you took another turn. You noticed your grave mistake too late, that you ran into a dark alley, that was most probably cut off by some obstacle. Your fears came true, as a metal fence started rising above you and soon enough, you collided into it, hoping it would topple over.

Not happening. The fence stood there long before you and it probably will continue standing proud long after you’re gone.

You searched for a weapon of any kind- you were positive that you wouldn’t find any silver in the abandoned alleyway, so you settled for a broken vodka bottle. You clenched it by the throat, facing the predators with shaky legs.

“Leave me alone.” You tried to make your voice firm, but it cracked to a plea in the middle of the sentence, making the vampires laugh.

“We can’t do that, honey. There’s no escape. I’m sorry.” The monster replied and as if his speech triggered your reflex, your legs set off running again.

You didn’t get far though, as an arm shot up to meet you, sending you flying back to the fence. With a cry, you tried to catch your breath, your eyes glazing over with tears.

“Kyungsoo…” his name escaped your lips and your attacker grinned.

“Yes, thank him for killing you.”

“Kyungsoo, help me…” you were far too gone with fear, trying to back up even further into the fence when the vampire started approaching you.

“No! Stay back! Please!”

“So loud…” the other one growled, slapping you across the cheek. The sole impact had you losing your balance as you fell on the ground, knocking your head on some rubbish. Sobbing, you tried to crawl away from your death, into the corner of the building and the fence.

“Please, no!” you cried again, when you felt an iron grip on your ankle yank you away from your haven.

“Shut up already!”

“Say your prayers, flower.” The first one finally said, lifting his arm to strike you again, but this time, you were sure it would be the last.

“Kyungsoo!” you shrieked, your eyes closing and awaiting the impact.

A growl cut through the air and soon enough, ripping and yells reached your ears, before you covered them, cutting them off.

You wanted out. This was just a horrible nightmare, you wanted out, to wake up. Or if it had to be real life, you just wanted to die, to finally have it over with and to die in peace. Oh god, that was the only thing you wanted, just to get out…

Your ranting was interrupted by a familiar voice calling your name. At first, you thought it was just your mind playing tricks, but when big hands covered yours, gently prying them off your ears, you heard that concerned voice again.

You opened your eyes and as you stared into Kyungsoo’s worried ones, you couldn’t fight the tears anymore and you broke down, crying.

“Did they hurt you? Hey, ___, talk to me, please.” His hand cupped your chin, tilting you up to meet his gaze again, while his other one gently swiped at the swollen cheek and busted lip that the vampires rewarded you with. His eyes laced with fury, and a growl rumbled off his chest.

“They didn’t bite you, right?” he asked carefully and relief washed over him when you shook your head.

“Did they hurt you anywhere else?”

“You came.” You interrupted his interrogation by throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. You refused to let go of him, your grip around his neck was almost bordering with pain, but either way, one of arms wrapped around your back, bringing you impossibly close, while the other one cradled your head.

“I’m so sorry I came so late. I’m so sorry.” He whispered into your ear, while you proceeded to cry into his neck.

“I was so scared…” you were only able to hiccup through your sobs.

“I know, and I’m so sorry, but it’s all okay now, I’m here…” Kyungsoo started rocking you gently, trying to calm you down.

“But for how long? How long until you’ll leave again?” you’ve managed to form a longer sentence now, your grip automatically tightening when you spoke of him leaving.

“Forever. I’ll never leave you again.” His hand ran through your hair, and when he brought out bloody fingers because of your injury, he gently pushed you away so he could look into your eyes.

“I never wanted you to experience something like this. I thought that if I left you, they would lose interest in you, and yet the only thing I did was make you completely vulnerable.” As he spoke, your eyes cast downwards to look at his shirt. He brought your attention back to his face when he kissed your brow gently and you looked up in surprise.

“I promise to take care of you from now until you’ll want me. I’ll never let anything happen to you again. If someone as much as touches you, I’ll make sure they’ll regret it.” The determination in his eyes told you he was speaking the truth. A moment later, uncertainty crept through the irises.

“That is, if you still want me.” Normally, you would’ve scoffed, but now, you wound your arms around his neck again and nodded into his shoulder.

You could feel as Kyungsoo wrapped one arm under your knees and lifted you into his embrace, as if you weighed nothing.

“Never leave me again, please.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

#kyungsoo #d.o #exo #kyungsoo story #kyungsoo scenario #d.o story #d.o scenario #exo story #exo scenario #werewolf #werewolf story #werewolf au #werewolf scenario

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