#i hate this body so much

[lilac-multifandom-multishipper]

if your bra has never gotten horribly misadjusted and somehow underneath only one of your Horrifying Chest Tumors while working out in a co-ed gym class multiple times in one day, i’m so jealous of you

#i hate this body so much #i’d like a new one please #preferably one that isn’t entirely dysfunctional

[cutetanuki-chan]

wanted to sketch something fun

#help I just tried to draw them a bit more stylistic and now they look like Yzma and Kronk #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #griddlehark #palamedes sextus #camilla hect #dulcinea septimus #cytherea loveday #art #i miss sexpal so much he's never coming home he'll never get to present Harrow's body back to her i hate this book

[eyenaku]

FOOL MASK (GITM BY @venomous-qwille)

Handbuilt porcelain with slip, overglaze, glaze, and gold lustre accents. Paint and lacquer detailing added post fire. Handsewn fool's cap and bells added post fire.

This mask is a part of a (loosely connected) mask series, all hand-built and fired using a range of different temperatures and techniques.

My favourite mask to date, Fool from Ghost in the Machine by the wonderful @venomous-qwille !! GITM is absolutely incredible and I cannot put into words eloquently how much I adore it and Fool so instead I made this mask! Hi!

My word was this mask a struggle to make. The mask itself is entirely one piece, and entirely porcelain!! That's right, those long thin rays are solid porcelain!! The eyes and tips of the blades are done in 22 carat gold lustre. All colouring save for the black and the satin sections of darker red on the face were done with only slips and underglazes. The red colour was correct without the paint, but I thought a contrast from the rest of the gloss would look nice :)

Made to scale, the mask measures 50.8x60.96cm without the hat, and 50.8x116.84cm with it! (20x24in without hat, 20x46in including hat). He is Large, but turned out absolutely lovely and I send my many many thanks to the kiln gods for producing him unscathed.

(naku & wall for scale)

(he's so big guys i have large walls (the top of my head is only slightly above the top of the bookcase beneath him) look at him at the wall it's nuts)

#eyenaku #proudnaku #seriously so proud of this naku please interact with this my magnum opus of porcelain i hate porcelain but i love fool #my prof. encouraged me to make THE REST OF FOOL?? LIKE HIS BODY?? thats so much. i'm not gonna but that was a funny thing to experience #ANYWAYS HI QWILLE IF YOU'RE READING THIS THE TAGS!! #fool is such a guy #thas all! love ur stuff btw #art #pottery #ceramics #mask #masks #decorative masks #porcelain #fool #fool gitm #fool ghost in the machine #ghost in the machine au #fool eclipse #ghost in the machine #gitm au #gitm fool #eyenaku masks #hehe happy fool day #I think the funniest part of making him was the tactical smooch I had to make to save his face it’s a whole thing #clip next.

[imamonstr]

i wanna cvt myself to de@th

i hate myself so much

why do i sh?

it's the only way to keep calm and don't feel that pain. i have to lose so much weight until i look like my perfect th1nspo

#i hate my existence #i hate my body #i wanna die #su1c1dal #depressing shit #i want to disappear #su1c1d3 #tw self destruction #cvtaddict #cvtt!ng #@na bvtt3rfly #@n@ diary #@na motivation #tw depressing thoughts #i need to be weightless #i need to lose so much weight #i wanna lose weight #⭐️ ing motivation #tw ed but not sheeran #tw thinspi #thin$po #thinspp #thinspø #th1nsp1ration #to the bone #i will be a skeleton #i will reach my ugw #i wanna be sk1nn1 #i want to cvt #self h@te

[monabinges]

"ill start tomorrow" bitch you said that 6 months ago, look at you still

#ana friend #tw 3d vent #pro4ana #ana is my friend #anadiet #i need to be weightless #i need to lose so much weight #tw mia #i wanna lose weight #bingedisorder #just binged #bing eddsworld #i hate my body #tw ed descussion #tw disordered thoughts #ed ednotsheeran restriction #ed but not ed sheeran #tw ed but not sheeran #tw edtwt

[transmascissues]

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

[jeweledstone]

Is it normal to daydream about ripping your skin off, revealing a better version of you underneath? A you you can actually enjoy being?

#neo shut the fuck up #vent #‘body horror’ #self harm #I hate this body so much

[thepunkmuppet]

the reason why transfem elias is my favourite theory for gwendolyn is because think about the implications.

so let’s say this alternate universe reveals that elias is actually transgender, and would present/identify as female if they had the opportunity to figure themself out and transition (elias was reportedly very young when jonah possessed them)

then the idea that in the tma universe they not only didn’t live long enough to do that, but THEIR BODY WAS TAKEN OVER BY SOMEONE ELSE WHO THEN PRESENTED IN A MASCULINE WAY AND LIVED AS A MAN USING THEIR FACE AND BODY FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS?!? FUCKING TERRIFYING

as a trans person myself, even though the real elias was dead the dysphoria that idea gives me is absolutely unreal, and really creeps into serious body/existential horror territory which i think would be really interesting and very in-character for a writer like jonny to explore.

#idk how they would explain her not being voiced by ben meredith but honestly it’s whatever i like this idea too much to think abt semantics #it’s just so horrible #the freaky friday trope was never something i could even entertain happening to myself #because someone else looking at my body!! and having control over it!! and potentially wearing feminine clothes and makeup and aaahhhhhh #i hate it #it’s a very interesting and nasty horror concept to me #transfem elias is real if this doesn’t turn out to be canon i will probably write it #the magnus archives #tma #the magnus protocol #tmagp #elias bouchard #gwendolyn bouchard #jonah magnus

[eggsploded]

mutant kids

#egg art #homestuck #solkat #karkat vantas #sollux captor #they make me so sad #that if all goes wrong sollux will be forced to live until his body gives while karkat is killed on sight #but also makes my heart warm #that both became friends not knowing how alike they were #dickhead. you feel the dread too dont you? lets play tf2 together #i hate you so much (please be safe)

[critterbitter]

Do you have an ao3/plan on uploading your work there?

(Does a lil jig) I have no work on ao3 but I have been drabbling together some stuff! It’s a long term project though haha, and I’m not likely to post because I’m still job hunting. (Shakes my little hat) but i can be convinced! Some stray dollars for lunch mmmight motivate me. Ehe.

For people curious what I WANT to write, if i have time:

Hisui Horizon Event — (alternate version of Canon but flavored with my war crimes.)

Ingo is sent to Hisui with no name and no memories. He copes.

Without her anchor, Chandelure fades. (Elesa and Emmet, mourning the loss of their third, will not let her slip gently into the grave.)

Salvaging the Ship of Theseus — (definitely canon divergence because, well.)

Emmet and Eelektross fall into Hisui seventeen months after Ingo’s disappearance and a month before PLA.

May I introduce: Shitty merchant Emmet, who’s definitely not fluent in Hisui flavored Kantonese. One concerned Eelektross, who’s about to change the landscape of pokemon-human relations forever. Warden Ingo, who is attempting to retire wardenship to go looking at the rift bubbles. Lady Sneasler, who’s using Ingo as a babysitter for her three rascally sneaslets.

And a very angry Elesa, armed with an extra pissed Chandelure, as they hunt down Sinnohian legends to get their favorite muppets back.

(HERE’S A DRABBLE. I have a lot of thoughts for Salvaging the Ship of Theseus. So many thoughts. Help. HELP.)

(Sigh. I have so many outline ideas. But writing is hard so yall. Art or fics, I’m not powerful enough to do both.)

But also interest check? Intwest chweck? WAH (gets swatted at with a broom))

#ask #mailbox #critterbitter screams into the void #the mind is willing but the body is weak #i have fanfic ideas but. writing hard. #and i hate posting unfinished work waaGhhh #(stares at STSOT— …i have finished the first chappie and i have. so much respect for fanfic writers. how do you do it. #how do you write so much. holy shit.) #submas #submas fic #its not a fic its a drabble #but STILL! #emmet #ingo #(sits) its so hard to be an adult and have a hyperfixation. mmm.

[mayvette]

not fond of gay people

#bubbline #princess bubblegum #marceline abadeer #i hate them so much #i hate women loving women i hate them i didnt even draw this actually the yuri devil posessed my body IT WASNT ME #adventure time #obsidian #venty time #mayvart

[personshapedsplder]

What rly kills me is that yellow isn't just angry at his mistreatment, he's HEARTBROKEN by arthurs rejection. It's impossible not to hear it in his voice when he lets it slip through. His fractured soul is entangled in arthurs or whatever and arthur REJECTED him and he's absolutely torn to pieces abt it. He isn't just pissed that arthur kidnapped him or treated him bad, he's heartbroken that he's not loved. And OH it fuckin hurts!!!

#malevolent #i imagine once in the dreamlands the cultists will put yellow back into his body and then hell like idk eat larson or something #and then hes gonna pretend hes so happy to be back to normal but inside hes always gonna have this #thorn of pain in his heart that he was almost loved and he was almost changed by love #but arthur hated him too much

[imamonstr]

skinny girl dinner

#i hate calories #ed but not ed sheeran #i hate my body #⭐️rving #@na bvtt3rfly #@n@ diary #mealsp0 #low cal meal #i need to lose so much weight #i wanna be sk1nn1 #⭐️ve #low cal diet #low calorie meals #meal$p0 #skinnygirl #i wanna be slim #i hate my existence #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ed sheeran

[bansenshukai]

1.17.23 - returning to my original purest reason for art making (to draw shirtless anime men)

#kakashi #scribbles #my babygirl #ilysm. so tragic he has no ass #i hc him as lean but fairly built thanks to his insane training regimen #i like to think he naturally tends to have that body type where he cannot keep muscle on. but he has managed it by sheer brute force anyway #he hates forced bedrest bc the muscle just melts off and it takes so much work to build it again #+ repeated use of chidori -> scarring (konoha's medical division is pretty good but not good enough to fix such a severe repeated injury)