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#i hate hate just everyone constantly trying to choose stuff for me on whats my best interest

dark-fics-4-you · 9 months

Note

okay first off, i love you and your works so so much, seriously i wait for you to post new stuff😭 second off id loveee to see some dark rafe as a boyfriend headcanons; i know you'd do an incredible job<3

thank you so much for the kind words!! <33 love youuu 🥰

dark!bf!Rafe Cameron Headcanons

warnings: smut, coercion, dubcon, manipulation, location tracking, jealousy, violence, drinking and drug use, overstimulation

dark!bf!Rafe would spoil the everloving hell out of you at the start of your relationship. When you were with him, he refused to let you pay for anything "i just want to treat you like the princess you are, baby." This included food, clothes, lingerie, jewelry, and even a brand new iphone when you accidentally shattered the screen of your old one.

little did you know, your boyfriend had set up your phone before he gifted it to you, making sure that your location would be visible to him at all times, and that he would be able to see anything that you texted to anyone.

Rafe always wanted you to spend all of your free time with him. he would constantly show up at your house to pick you up for surprise dates, taking you out shopping or to an expensive restaurant of your choosing.

Anytime you questioned how he always knew that you were free when he came by, he always had an answer, accompanied by a sheepish grin, “i guess i just know you that well, y/n/n.”

Rafe hated the fact that you had guy friends, mood instantly souring anytime you mentioned wanting to hang out with them. It was hard enough for him to tolerate you hanging out with your girl friends, but Rafe felt especially protective of you around your male friends.

After seeing you talking with one of them at a party, much too enthusiastically for Rafe's taste, your boyfriend waited till he could talk to your friend alone before he threatened to break his nose if he ever saw him talking to you again.

The next day, when you sat on the couch gazing at the hurtful text from your friend that said he wanted nothing to do with you anymore, your boyfriend rubbed circles in your back as you cried into his chest, hiding the triumphant grin that tugged at the corner of his lips. "it'll be okay baby, I'm here to support you, and I'm not going anywhere."

You and Rafe didn’t get into arguments a lot, but when you did they were ugly screaming matches, baseless allegations of cheating berated at you as you sobbed, trying to calm your boyfriend down.

The arguments always ended the same way though. With you laying face down, ass in the air, head pushed into the pillow as your boyfriend took out his frustrations on you, not stopping until you had came around him five times

Afterwards, he held you in bed, kissing you tenderly and whispering into your skin, “i’m sorry y/n, you know how jealous i get, it’s only because i love you so much” and like the trusting, naive girl you were, you believed him wholeheartedly

Rafe was always super handsy in public, even if you voiced discomfort, never one to shy away from public sex as a way to tell every guy in the Outer Banks that you were his girl

Fingers wandering under your short skirts at house parties, a smack on your ass when you bent over at the golf course in front of his friends, fucking in his truck with the windows open before picking up weed and blow from Barry

You didn’t particularly like Rafe’s coke use, and had tried to bring it up to him many times, but he always knew what to say to turn the sympathy back towards him, “you know i’ve been having a hard time with my dad, princess. i feel like you and coke are the only thing that can calm me down. i just need it a little longer and then i’ll quit, i promise.”

Every party the two of you went to was an opportunity for him to show you off, and he had a habit of never letting you leave his side, arm firm around your waist, always stealing kisses and nipping at your neck to remind everyone who you belonged to, glaring at any guy who looked at you funny.

Rafe would pour you drink after drink, offering you hits off his blunts and pressuring you to do lines of blow in between. He loved how you always got more touchy with him when you were drunk. Not only that, but you allowed him to get more handsy in public than if you had been sober, “relax, it’s a crowded party, y/n/n, everyone’s hooking up.”

Rafe always loved to push your boundaries, testing the waters of what he could get away with

He would wrap an arm around you, supporting you as you drunkenly stumbled into the nearest unoccupied bedroom, before gently helping peel off your clothes as he kissed you, silencing your worries about leaving your friends behind, “i can’t think about anything else but you right now y/n. you don’t get what you do to me.”

Desire clouded your mind with his every caress, and before you could think it over, your ‘no’ had turned into ‘just the tip’ at his suggestion

And yet, every time, you found yourself in the same position, thighs shaking as you came around his cock, moans muffled by the ringed hand at your throat, “mm there’s my girl. felt like you needed that.”

His favorite punishment for you whenever you pissed him off by getting too close with his friends or acting like a brat was overstimulation.

Rafe caught you off guard every time, delving between your thighs with a playful smirk. He kissed and nipped at the tender flesh of your inner thighs before he would eat you out, slowly pushing his fingers into your dripping pussy.

After the first orgasm, you were already a panting mess. But you were surprised when he didn’t stop, quickly pushing you over the edge again, large hands firmly clamped around your quaking legs.

By the third, you realized what he was doing, already so overstimulated that you were begging him to stop, tears streaming down your face as he lapped at your sensitive clit. The pleasure building inside you at every thrust of his fingers had you coming again and again

No amount of tears or apologies could ever stop him, “you wanted to act like a slut, so don’t be surprised when i treat you like one, sweetheart.”

Rafe was only satisfied after you sagged against the bed after your seventh orgasm, finally allowing you to catch your breath as he peppered gentle kisses all over your body and face, whispering praises and telling you how much he adored you. “my perfect y/n. i never want to let you go.”

#rafe cameron #outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron headcanons #dark!rafe cameron headcanons #dark!bf!rafe #obx

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inkskinned · 2 years

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i turn 29 on july 1st. i feel like i make a lot of these notes to myself, to check in. hi, me, here's what's happening.

hi, me. hi, you, too, if you keep reading. here's some rules i have been following:

when a book is bad, i put the book down. i choose something i like instead. when i don't like a movie, i don't make myself watch until the end. i care less and less what people think about me and focus more on being a good friend.

for the 6 months or so, i've been asking people what they think should be my next book or tv show. i ask them where i should go on a walk next week. i ask them what food i should try next, what hobby. and then i write it down in front of them.

the truth is some stuff slips through the cracks. but most of the time? within two weeks, i get to send my favorite kind of text - so i tried the thing you were talking about and !

i have a new policy for split-second choices - it's better to try it. i have social anxiety. i have to talk myself into doing many things. i am constantly battling the desire to run away as far as my feet will take me. and then i stand up and i do the thing anyway. i make myself act and dance and sing. sometimes, yes, i know-immediately never again, i hate this. but most of the time - i just have fun with it.

i have a new mantra - nobody is scorekeeping. at the end of my life, there will be no grand reading of how many calories i'd been eating. no reviews on how many boring documentaries i forced myself through, no calculation on how many hours i endured an extremely dull educational podcast. and so what if i try karaoke and i don't actually nail it? so what if i stumble over my words while trying to make a public announcement? so what if i wear something too-showy to go to the grocery store? nobody there knows me, and: nobody's keeping score.

life doesn't resolve with a grade (i know, i was as shocked as everyone else when i realized it). i am not falling behind, because there's no curriculum to life that i should be following. there are no checkpoints; nobody is making sure i have a fully-furnished life resume. i am just here for as long as the earth will have me, and i get to decide what makes me happy.

i don't have a partner or a house or anything that is supposed to belong to people-my-age. i spend most of my time focusing on being kind, compassionate, ready to listen without restraint.

and honestly? i feel good. like actually. i kind of like it this way.

#the really ironic thing #is that the less i care what people think of me #the more friends i have #the more i get along with people easily #19 year old me would kill me for saying this bc she HATED when people said ''stop trying''#but it was that i wasn't trying to be their friend #i was trying NOT to be ME #i went from being like ''i think im too different for people to ever like me''#to a decade later being like #'' ah i'll be okay i get along with pretty much everyone ''#it was true about food too #i wasn't kind to my body and thought it could make me look a certain way #if i was pretty it would make up for the way i was internally very ugly #but im now in probably the best shape of my life #and i have pretty much kicked my eating disorder to the curb (goodbye die in a hole)#bc i spend SO much more time seeing the chance to work out as a FUN THING #bc i don't make myself ''follow the rules'' of working out -- i dance or jog or whatever my body wants to do instead #do you know how weird it is #to go from being a COMPLETELY alone kid like NOBODY will talk to you bc you're a social pariah #like bullied ALL THE TIME bc ur stupid and flighty and strange and too loud etc #to being like the exact same person but now people are like ..... ''ur smart and funny and charming and happy-go-lucky''#some of this does have to deal with the fact i got therapy and medication #and started being a better person and actually focusing on myself and the ways that i could improve #im gentler now. i don't crave attention in the same way. i don't mind things that used to destroy me #it DOES help that i finally got diagnosed with ADHD #anyway feelin things bc it's been 5 years of recovery <3

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scribefindegil · 7 months

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ok i'm soooo happy you talked about the mind control thing with the divine tree arc. it rubbed me the wrong way a lot and is the reason why i still don't really like dimple, even though i know it's an important story point and all, i feel like brainwashing is a huge violation and it was never really talked about afterwards. it also rubbed me the wrong way when mob wondered if he did something wrong by stopping the brainwashing even though it made peopl happy, like i feel like that's so disrespectful to autonomy and such (even though, it is a fictional story)

i really like what you're doing with the brassica heresy, with tsubomi taking center stage bc she is one of my faves, i'm really excited where it will go!

Okay. It is possible that you will not like what I have to say. That's fine; you don't have to agree with me and you certainly don't have to like a fictional character who has done fucked-up stuff.

That said.

I feel like you're approaching this with framing that's pretty at odds with the themes of the show. Everyone agrees that the brainwashing was bad. A lot of Mob Psycho characters have done things that are bad. Pretty much everyone I know spent most of the Divine Tree confrontation absolutely furious with Dimple. But the question is: Okay, a character has done something awful. Now what? A lot of people would say that the only solution is punishment and rejection, that Dimple has done something too terrible for him to remain a sympathetic character, and he needs to be exiled or killed or imprisoned or otherwise removed from the show.

But Mob Psycho 100 believes, completely and utterly, with its whole chest, with every arc and with every character, that there is nothing you can do that is so terrible that you are undeserving of human connection, that you are incapable of changing for the better. It believes that there is no fundamental, ontological difference between the people you hate and the people you love, between a terrorist trying to take over the world and a kid who lashed out once and accidentally hurt his brother. Which isn't to say that actions don't matter; obviously they do, and they have consequences. But regardless of what they've done, everyone is just a person. Everyone can grow.

And, crucially, it isn't interested in punishment. Did the character realize their mistake and begin to change? That's what matters. The show doesn't have people constantly rehash the bad things they've done; it just gives them the chance to stop and choose a different path. And Dimple does. Dimple realizes that his goal of godhood wasn't going to make him happy, but his friendship with Mob was.

And people can have boundaries; people can decide that they don't want to be associated with someone any more; forgiveness, in Mob Psycho, is always a choice. But it's a choice that the characters continue to make because the show values kindness and transformation.

So like, yeah, the brainwashing was truly, deeply horrifying. And Mob loves Dimple anyway. And I do too.

(Also, to your point about the LOL cult: Mob is extremely anxious about doing the right thing and specifically about following social rules. And those people did seem to be happy, so of course it makes sense that the fear that he made their lives worse is going to eat at him. That's why Reigen's there, to reassure him, to tell him "You saved some people that only you could have saved," to listen to him tell his story and say that no, those people weren't really happy, and he did something good and important and necessary by breaking the spell.)

#conversations #mp100 #mob meta

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abbyslev · 11 months

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𝒀𝑼𝑼𝑱𝑰 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑺

A/N: hello my angels! recovery has not been well unfortunately. i feel like shit and i’m so dizzy and hungry but everything hurts so i can’t eat properly. i wish i could write more than i have but i’m constantly asleep or woozy off the meds. i’m so sorry, i wanted to get request done but i have 0 energy. i hope to get better soon so i can get back to writing for you guys! here’s something that’s been sitting in the drafts for a while. sorry again :(

A/N: i hate to have to ~clarify~ this but this is completely platonic!! i just yuuji sm i wish he was real😔💔

HEAVY CUDDLER

awh when he gets a good grade on his test he will always thank you for supporting him :(

always carries stuff in his pockets for you??

chapstick? he’s got it! pad? he’s got it! tissue? no worries! lash glue? give him a second! hair tie? turn around so he can braid your hair!

and you do the same for him, since he always forgets about himself :(

he’s allllwayssss playing with your hair it’s so adorable

when you guys make plans he likes to sit on your bed and watch you get ready

camera roll is FILLED with selfies he took of himself

when you’re in public and run into some old friends he will grab the hem of your shirt and just smile

sukuna likes to tear you down so yuuji does try his best to keep sukuna away from you :(

BEST HYPE MAN EVER omg like you’ll post on your socials and in a second he has alr liked, reposted, commented, EVERYTHING!!

comes to you for any advice he needs

was so happy when you met megumi and nobara and genuinely got along with them

you guys take turns cooking dinners!

he sleeps over at your dorm a lot

it’ll be 3 am and you hear a knock on your door

yuuji’s there with his messy hair and shy smile

“Fine. But you have to make my bed.”

you can’t even tell me he doesn’t make the best dinners

you guys take turns on making dinners

movie night on friday’s!

you guys do missions together

gojo thinks you two work amazing together

random staring contest out of nowhere

you guys text 24/7

“hey, look at this!” “one second, i’m texting yuuji.”

he LOVES giving you piggy back rides cause he’s a beast like that

he goes “huh?” AT EVERYTHING YOU SAY

shared earbuds everywhere!

walks? you have one and he has one. one the way home on a bus? shared! after workouts and you guys are cooling down? shared again!

ooo late night walks

he always falls asleep on your shoulder on the bus :(

shyly asks you for advice on girls

“just be yourself and she’s gonna love you!” “but idk how to flirt :(“

texts you “are you asleep” but it doesn’t matter either way because he’s gonna spam you

send you random pictures throughout the day

your homescreen is yuuji and you posing in front of a giant tourist attraction

you two are inseparable

whenever you go out and make conversation with the pretty cashier, yuujis like “ooo she was so cute! did you get her number?”

biggest supporter for everything, does not matter what you choose he’s right behind you!

doesn’t want you involved in really dangerous missions, just the ones you can handle

he doesn’t want you to worry about him either :(

you constantly have to reach up and fix his hair cause he’s silly like that

BYE the biggest gentlemen ever

door? open for you. shoe untied? he’s on it. car door? open for you! only one seat in the train? it’s for you, he’ll stand!

takes the WORST pictures of you and claims they’re masterpieces

the best friend everyone needs :( yuuji supremacy!!!

#jjk manga #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk yuuji #yuuji x reader #jujutsu kaisen yuuji #jjk #jujutsu yuji #yuuji itadori #yuuji fluff #jujutsu itadori #itadori fluff #itadori x you #itadori x y/n

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yumedoca · 1 year

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On today’s episode of ‘Yuca Analyzes Silly Things (For No Reason)’, I will be talking about Ataru and how he views his love for Lum.

Ataru’s relationship with Lum is complicated, he loves her but he doesn’t want to act like a couple with her, much to Lum’s disappointment. To answer why this is the case, we’ll have to first look at how he initially viewed Lum.

Ataru’s first impression of Lum was that of a sexy alien princess and was instantly drooling over her when he saw her. But later on, him being unable to catch Lum’s horns has caused him to feel annoyance towards her since everyone kept blaming him for failing. This annoyance grew into hatred when she answered his “marriage proposal” causing Shinobu to break up with him (they do resolve the tension by chapter 2, but Lum returning in chapter 3 made things worse for them). Ever since then Ataru has hated Lum, constantly asking her to get out, saying he doesn’t love her, admitting she’s a nuisance, taking away her powers and feeling no guilt for that, etc. But from Kurama’s introduction, we learn that he does love her the most… just like every other woman. The first thing we can tell for sure Ataru’s ‘Love (The romantic kind)’ can be divided into two categories, Lust and True Love. Even tho his eyes did wander from woman to woman, What he initially felt for Shinobu was a milder version of his True Love, he protected her from the imp demon after all and stopped Lum from trying to kill her off. But, once Lum slowly starts taking over his life, he realizes that he can’t be with Shinobu anymore and the desperation to be with her turned his mild true love into lust (as of chapter 10, which is the first time he acts like a proper pervert around Shinobu as well as put her in the same place as Lum). So from Oyuki’s introduction,his love for every woman was basically lust… up until the Otoko Kumino chapter.

The Otoko Kumino chapter is a great chapter and personally my favorite Lum chapter, because it’s the first time we see her genuinely care about Ataru. This isn’t something just the readers can see, but it’s something obvious to Ataru as well because for the first time in his life, something she has done for him doesn’t end up backfiring on him, but instead actually saves him, which has him thinking that Lum might not be so bad after all (or in his words “Is it just me, or was Lum always this cute?”). After that he holds hands and walks with her which is basically an open act of love which is something Ataru doesn’t like to willingly do, so we can conclude that he hasn’t realized that he’s falling for her, yet. He only realizes that he genuinely loves her in the chapter where she leaves him to renew her passport causing him to breakdown or to be specific in the scene where she’s back and when Ataru couldn’t help but start smiling, but immediately turns his face away from her in realization that he loves her, but she shouldn’t know or else he’ll have to be committed to her which isn’t something he can do easily (habits are difficult to break after all). And from there their relationship starts growing.

Now why does he love her? At first it was because he was touched about her act of kindness of helping him as Otoko Kumino, but by the time she leaves him in “Since Your Parting”, it’s very much alluded in the first scene in the classroom (the remake plays this up with the extra scenes with Ataru’s family and stuff) that it’s because she’s genuinely loves him despite his flaws and even if he does stupid things, she chooses to still stays with him and by his side no matter what, which is something no woman has ever done for him (Shinobu did to an extent as well but she eventually ended up breaking up with him once she realized that he wasn’t the man of her destiny). (Also, I want to point out that this reasoning was also kind of said out loud by Ataru in the ‘Only You’ movie which is surprising considering the OG anime wasn’t really strong in character writing.)

Now if he does love her, then why doesn’t he agree to do couple stuff (here I mean stuff like kissing, flirting, saying “I love you”, etc.) with her? That’s because he does all those things with other woman to the point they have lost that specialness. It may still be special to her, but not to him because Lum isn’t any woman, he’s the only one he actually cares about and he doesn’t want to give her the same treatment he gives other women. Not only that, he’s also quite respectful to Lum in that sense, like with unlike other woman, he makes sure he has her consent if he wants to take things up a notch. This can be noted in the chapter where they were alone at home and he thinks she wanted to have sex with him, he was reluctant at first, but eventually agrees, although quite embarrassed (it has to be noted that he wasn’t embarrassed when he was with Kurama and Oyuki [even tho nothing happened], showing how differently he feels about her) and of course, in the end nothing happens. But it’s nice to see that Ataru has a gentleman attitude towards Lum (even if he doesn’t listen to her).

Of course as time goes on he realizes he can’t hide his love for her forever, especially when he’s put in difficult situations. He does try giving ambiguous answers midway through his relationship with her and by the time of the ‘BOY meets GIRL’, he’s able to say how he actually feels, just indirectly. Speaking of ‘BOY meets GIRL’, let’s talk about that arc.

Ataru’s romantic conflict in this arc is trying to figure out and understand Lum and to make sure she understands him as well. Lum is pretty straightforward in her thoughts and actions, but for the first time she gets paranoid, because of the whole mushroom clone misunderstanding. From Ataru’s POV, she (actually the mushroom clone) wanted to stay with Rupa, not him, which hurts him. The next time he sees her, she’s (the real one) with him and wants his help, which confuses him and that confusion causes him to decline, hurting Lum, making her wonder whether he actually loves her or not. That causes the finale’s game of tag in which Lum want’s to hear him say “I love you”. I have previously explained why he won’t say it, but if he doesn’t say it, he’ll forget her. He wants her to understand that he does love her, but he doesn’t want it to be like this because if he says it in this situation, she’ll never know if it’s the truth or not. This doesn’t mean much to Lum (for the time being), but it means a lot to Ataru, because to him, his love for her means a lot more than just some stupid, forced confession. He doesn’t want to forget her either, since he holds on to horns believing if he does, he wouldn’t have to forget her, which she eventually realizes when he yells “How could I ever forget?!” and then accidentally dropping her horns confirming his feelings. The final scene and his final dialogue shows him no longer denying his love or giving ambiguous answers, but instead promising to eventually say “I love you” on his deathbed. I like to personally believe that their relationship even though still chaotic, is a lot smoother and that they understand each other better after those events.

Thank you for taking some time to read this analysis ♥️. I still have tons of things I want to talk about this boy, but I’ll save it for another time. I also want to eventually do a relationship analysis for Lum as well, but I’ll save that for another time as well. Hope you have nice day! X3

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mrs-monaghan · 9 months

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Okay so Jungkook has moments where he's incredibly bold like in major ways. But in small ways he seems to how do I say it wimp out. For example Jungkook always makes excuses as to why he's with Jimin a lot. Instead of just admitting they're extremely close he makes it seem like he hangs with JM out of convenience. This is not me being insecure I do think they are together I just don't understand his habit of doing this. I don't see how the same dude that sucked JM's ear on stage or will do long videos for him, will clam up when confronted with the fact that he spends a lot of time with JM.

Even when he watched an old interview of himself saying JM is the easiest to talk to...he pretty much corrected and saying that's not the case anymore...it's easy to talk to everyone.

This habit of his shouldn't bother me so much but it does. Again it doesn't make me doubt them, if anything it makes me think they are more of a couple but it just irks my nerves because there's nothing suspicious about saying we like hanging out. It's more suspicious to constantly downplay how much you hang out. You get what I'm saying?

He's been doing it since forever and If I'm being honest I don't think it would bother me so much if it didn't bring a lot of hate on JM when he does it, so I think that's the real reason I care so much that he has this habit. But why do you think he does it?

My first guess would be trying not to out them...but then he goes and does wildly obvious stuff that brings into question why he'd care about admitting to hanging out with JM a lot but not care about big displays of affection. He seems to care more about hiding the minor things. Why do you think that is?

a) We may hate the fanservice narrative but Jikook have gladly taken advantage of it. Cue RB and HG. They were able to get away with these things because they can be explained away with FS.

b) They are in the closet. So JK can't be going around everytime confirming how close they are especially when Jimin already does it enough for the both of them. U forget the amount of times Jimin has made sure we know just how close them 2 are. And so, see point A. Where while big gestures can be passed off as fan service, things JK says or admits to cannot.

c) Which is most important to note; JK likes to be in charge of situations especially if they are occurring on camera. So, if he's recording Jimin like he loves to and then producers suddenly go "why do you record Jimin so much?" his heart is gonna start beating a mile a minute and he's gonna panic and scramble for the most unbelievable answer ever.

If something is JK's decision, his choice, he will be loud and bold and have no regrets whatsoever. But if he's just bombarded with something it takes him by surprise and he panics and that's why he tries to downplay their rlship coz he has something to hide and he thinks if he acts like Jimin isn't special it will come off that way.

To you and me, we can clearly see through him. Coz u can see the deer in the headlights look. U can see him swallow nervously. Avoid the camera. But to haters like u say, they can't read body language for shit and also they don't want to. Haters have an agenda and so they won't care for how JK acted before this.

(And entire thread of Jimin trying to kiss JK, something he only ever does with JK and people are still here choosing to look like 🤡🤡)

Anygays, antis will only care that he turned away. They miss the tiny smile as Jimin gets closer which means JK doesn't mind it one bit. They miss the part where JK stares at Jimin's lips which is clearly a reflex. They miss the part where JK could have moved earlier but waited till the late second. Almost like he forgot himself for a second there. You and I will notice. But an anti will only pick up on the fact that JK turned away.

And that's fine anon. Really. Truly. Antis are the reason we have continued to have Jikook moments for all these years. Because no matter what these 2 men do, no matter how loud they get, antis are still gonna explain their rlship away. Which, if u really think about it, its a good thing. Glass closet and all that.

I have said this many times but Jikook don't get affected by the hate as much as we do. Or we think. If they did they would tone down their affection for eo but alas!

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #jimin and jungkook #kookmin #minkook #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #bts #jeon jungkook

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randomfoggytiger · 1 year

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Typing: INTPs In Their Own Words

A short while ago, I created a Mulder Typing post explaining why he's an INTP (not INFJ/INFP); and, while I was compiling notes, I collected some comments from INTP users and stashed them away in a document. While going back through to get inspired for a future post (whatever that will be), I found them again; and was struck with a brilliant idea: why don't I simply post them in full so that everyone can read INTP thoughts/processes in their own words? There are many flavors of INTPs (since Typing is just a system showing how the brain processes information, not as a personality box you have to stuff people into-- the old Nature vs. Nurture); and perhaps you'd be interested in what they have to say?

There's a lot of good, some bad, and a little ugly; but we need a full picture to see these good souls for who they are~.

(Shoutout to my INTP mutual @baronessblixen! She mainly inspired this post for me~.)

**Note**: I will try to translate the technical terms as I go along (since they are mostly referring to Typing terminology and processes), so don't worry if the comment doesn't make much sense at first! :DDD

And now-- in no particular order-- here they are on their own terms!

""Why bother... Why do I even bother?.... Why would anyone care?...." The mantras of the INTP"

""They are legitimately worried that other people in the world are stupid."" As an INTP, I genuinely started to have that worry when I started noticing that my former classmates are holding executive jobs. As for fashion sense, I used to let my mom buy my clothes until late high school. But in the past 10 years or so and probably due to my ENTJ sister's influence and my interests in arts I started to develop a bizarre wardrobe. It had mellowed down a bit but I still get "that looks cool but I'd never do it myself" comments."

"I’m an INTP and the telling the same story over and over again is definitely a thing. But I don’t do it because I don’t remember having told it that person, usually. I’m usually the one who remembers everything I’ve ever said to someone, or heard from them in response in unreasonable amounts of detail. And then, over time, no one else remembers our conversations as well. So I start telling the same story I like telling, assuming that either they don’t remember hearing it, or if they do, they’ll stop me and say they remember me telling that one."

"The Ni critic explains why i can never decide on an acedemic/career path. Afraid of not choosing the wrong path or not being able to contribute anything new/novel/inovative to the field. But desperately wanting to prove to the world our brain has some thing significant to contribute but afaid of failing"

"Ti is logic and it’s basically what the individual believes is true or false. Like me, for example, if this is truth and this has to be true, basically, if this-then this, constantly."

"My INTP younger sister is exactly like this [easily exploited]. I hate when she lets peope use her at a door mat. I've dated many INTPs as an INTJ female and really really love the dynamic. But how do I cultivate "immoveability" into the INTP? Personally, my own views are what matter to me, but I find INTPs to almost be too flexible (if that makes sense). One of my exes used to get taken advantage so much it caused me to question his love for himself. I love my sister and obviously want wants best for her, how do I give her some of the INTJ "immoveability" to be less of a door mat?"

"So I’m an INTP but I don’t feel like I’m nowhere near brilliant. I now understand why I always felt so different from everyone else. I understand stuff easier than most but I have to break it down and reiterate to myself. I also did poorly in school until last 2 years of college.... I also have a hard time putting my words together or finding the right thing to say or word to use."

"As a INTP I hate jobs with hierarchy. The idea that someone with a lesser mind will be in charge of me will irritate ... me. At the same time I don't want to be the boss either, the idea of having to baby sit lesser minds will also irritate me lol. The person in charge in my opinion has to be highly intelligent, because that is the only time ill accept it because then I feel like I actually have something to learn from that person to further my own knowledge and the position they have is actually justified in my head."

"In my opinion, INTPs "inevitability" stems from their pessimistic functions, both in the ego and the shadow. The sharp Ne [Me: the fate of all humanity, not just one's own path forward] parent with how responsble it is with its forsight combined with the Fe [Me: human interconnection and emotional outreach] in aspirational mode can provide the most efficient choices for anyone to be better. While their shadow reinforces with using their will with Ni [Me: personal future and fate, the path one creates forward for oneself] critic and principles with Fi [Me: personalized morals and beliefs] demon/angelic to give structure and brings things to reality to what they foresee."

"I’m an INTP, and can tell you in all honesty that we view forgiveness very differently than all the other types. Forgiveness is but something that you acquire, but in fact more of a gift. You either have it, or you don’t"

"MBTi type claim that they’re INTPs and use it as a crutch to not get anything done or not to go anywhere in life. To be honest, that’s not how that works. INTPs just get too comfortable, and really the only way to motivate an INTP or an INFP because they have Si child is to just make them uncomfortable, and to pull them out of that behind the scenes realm. So, in general respect the behind the scenes, but if they’re not growing as people, if they’re not becoming better human beings, be prepared to pull them out of the behind the scenes, be prepared to expose them, because it’s the only way they will grow. They only understand pain. It’s kind of like those people who have to hit rock bottom before they ever grow up, right?"

"[Me: Context-- INTP's Nemesis makes them want to question everything, even if they like the information they're given; but often ther Si Child doesn't want to get out of their comfy routine to actually fact check it.] The nemissis thing is funny because as I watched this (and just about everything else I have some experience with) I thought "yeah you seem to have a good grasp of this, but if I had time..." and then I moved on, my inner critic was appeased."

"It doesn’t mean that we should be labeling them hermits or these people who are not good with human beings, etc. Especially INTPs, people are just not as much of a priority to them, because they’re too busy playing with their metaphysical systems. You know, it’s like a big toyland universe that they have access to, mentally, that they’re able to use their thinking models and solve problems. Life to them is a giant puzzle box. Let them play with their puzzle box. They really need that."

" I was talking recently with an INTP mother, who’s actually very good at type, and she trained her son or her daughter, I don’t remember which … But she’s married to an ESTP and they go to church and get involved in church events, and she’d be extroverting in her unconscious or her subconscious side of her mind at that point, and then all of a sudden, she’s like tapped out of energy and she just has to completely disappear and people are like, “Where did she go? Where did she go?” And you’ll find her in a corner where there’s like nobody but her, literally doing nothing but playing puzzles. That’s just how INTPs are."

"Whereas Ne users are very beautiful, they just like to be told by the Ni user what they should do, right? Because the Ni users connected to extraverted sensing and then the Ne users able to be like, okay, “Well I should do this because that’s what you want,” right?” That’s how it works. [Me: Meaning-- Ni users are more focused on what they want/their path forward; and Ne users are less focused on those areas, and are chill if Ni calls most of the shots as long as their opinions/voices are heard.]"

"Fe [Me: INTPs] users want to feel valued, not be source of value. [Me: Meaning-- they don't want to be the stereotypical male bird in a mating ritual dancing and making a big fuss. Others can do that to make them feel valued; but that's not how they show someone that they love, value, or care about them.]"

"Growth and self improvement has always felt to me to be an illusory concept. Obviously we change based on experiences but you can never predict if the experiences you are about to experience are going to lead to being "better" than you were. And what constitutes better? This is the philisophical black hole an INTP like myself can get stuck in when it comes to wanting anything."

"My Fi Demon is a really sharp and brutally honest critic that tells the object of my anger everything that makes them wrong. It’s often followed by guilt, even though I’m only speaking the truth without applying any filter."

"I think with INTPs if they are smart taking the initiative to learn from self help books or if they grow up in a family and environment that constantly challenges them, it's more about learning what to avoid after repeated experiences of getting burned. I learned about physical pain through sports starting at a young age thanks to my father and social anxiety, dealing with it head on in sports locker rooms, taking toastmasters classes to become a good public speaker, approaching people in cold approach sales etc. So I have the ability to tolerate pain if needed but also have the knowledge on what to stay away from because I've experienced it repeatedly and already know the outcome."

"I definitely wish my parents had been strict with me. When I asked them for advice, they told me they had no advice to give, and that I should do whatever I want to do. I support myself now, but I spent 10+ years aimless, living off of them. I would have built more useful skills, self-respect, confidence, and better values if they had guided me towards a career and a normal lifestyle. I will definitely give my kids an ultimatum to move out and support themselves for at least a year at age 18, but also will give loving guidance and provide a sense of how to live rather than a liberal attitude of laissez-fair parenting."

"those INTPs, you know, driving their car, they’re like the old man driving their cars, you know what I mean, or the old woman, taking their jolly sweet time, you know, not really in a hurry, I’m never in a hurry. I make sure there’s enough time in my day scheduled, so I can take my time on the road, and [others], you know, cuss at me, honk their horns at me, you know"

"I agree with you about the subconscious part of INTP. We do care about our loved ones. But if we KNOW that they’re not going to listen, why would we bother?"

"hero of the INTP is a little different. It is Ti hero, logic comes first, they can see into the future of other people, but they do it from a more responsible, a pessimistic point of view."

"I know that although I always had a real hard time falling in-love and develop strong feelings for a guy, I didn’t have any difficulties being committed and loyal. I know that as a female INTP, it takes lot to decide on a lifelong partner, but once that decision is made, I am fiercely loyal"

"Sometimes, as an INTP, I feel like that I actually am a really-really bad person. I think that I'm actually a psycho, but now I know the reason. When my father died 7 years ago, I remember it was a cold night, my families were grieved, my mother was cried hysterically and so my big brother. Instead, I did not feel anything atm, my aunt kept telling me that my father Infront of me already died but I still didn't feel anything. I was thought that it just a phase of human life and everyone will die eventually, until my brother yelled at me 'What are you doing? It's our father who died!!!' So tried so hard to cry, I didn't even know if that was a real cry or not. And when everyone was still grieving, I decided to sleep so maybe tomorrow I would get my feeling and start to grieve. But after several weeks, I started to think that I don't have my father anymore, the one who was always love me no matter what I did, then finally I can feel my lost and start to cry sincerely. Don't be like me my fellow INTP friends, feeling is important. Don't be so full of logic in those important moments and just blend in. Have a good day!"

"Most of time I have to outsmart myself to not smoke weed, lay in bed, play video games, watch movies and rather go to work instead. Getting out of the comfort zone, nah rather, throwing myself out of the comfort zone is so crucial for me. It completely changes my mindset and pushes me towards growth."

"I'm an INTP. I was married to a very abusive man and had spent 8 years trying to make up my mind as to what I was going to do about it. I went to work one day with a black eye and a co-worker said "if you don't leave him I'll call CPS and then your kids will be taken away" (whether she would have done it or not, idk). That forced me to make the decision to leave and take me out of my "comfort zone". It was the best thing that someone has ever done for me."

"I loved when you talked about wisdom being harsh and "fire". Yeah turns out telling someone "here's the harsh truth about what you're doing wrong, just stop doing it and you'll be fixed" doesn't go over well with most folks. As a teacher, I could absolutely tell how kids were going to turn out due to their parents' behaviour (if the parents were too accepting, the kids would end up helpless; if the parents were too inconsistent, the kids would be unreliable as well etc.) But would I bother telling this to parents? No, of course not, no one likes to be told they're parenting wrong, no one would listen to advice from me, a childless professional with years of experience. Sigh."

"Society appreciates ignorance rather than wisdom."

"I am an INTP. As an ex-smoker it was really hard to stop smoking cigarettes I tried everything but I just couldn't. It was frustrating to me that there is something controlling me. That was [eating away at] ... my brain.I found a book called the easy way to stop smoking on Reddit recommended by ex-smokers. I read it I stopped in a week. Now I'm 8 months clean. I distributed the book to all the people i know who smoke ligit the whole uni. No wants to read the book they think they won't stop they don't believe me. People don't like to take advice people just don't care. This makes me sad."

"It's scary how accurate this is. I almost feel called out for my ways of thinking. In typical INTP fashion I hate being predictable so it's weird to see someone get something this spot-on"

"I see these personality types like INTP as a starting point for personal development and not as a destiny. For example I try to be the one who kicks me out of the comfort zone instead of being dependent on someone else to do that."

"When he said people will hate you and alienate you because you always think your right and come off as arrogant but you usually are right which makes them hate you more. My whole life summed up and yet I never understood why it seemed people had an aversion to me when I had the best intentions. Now I know"

"[Me: Context-- this poster is not an INTP, but has a lot of Fe users in their family. Further context: INTPs are Fe users] I have a family with, I think, a lot of Fe functions. I mean, it does get overwhelming as time progressed and I feel like I'm being gaslighted not being as normal as them, but I can handle it, yes. But the repeating part is just so true. My mom and dad like to repeat stuff as they say it i.e "Don't forget to bring them. Don't forget to bring them. The bag for grandma. Okay ? Don't forget to bring them."

"This was really interesting to watch. I feel that my Trickster Ne is worse because of my Asberger's, it's much harder to interact with people and be aware of my surroundings. Interacting with people and understanding them can be completely exhausting and draining. Weirdly, I find it incredibly hard to predict people, but when I do, it's scarily accurate. My husband, an ISFP, gets so frustrated that I'm "always right". He does have to push me to do things, too. LoL. He, as you said, doesn't give me options but just tells me to stuff, and I do it, kicking and screaming the whole way. :P"

"I am lucky to have a mom that appreciate me and tells me about it quite often, which is very good-feeling, but if she thinks that I'm getting too lazy, she'll be sure to make a move. Really happy to have her in my life."

"I have always had zero fashion sense and 'sloppy' with messy hair is my default look. To help me understand the art and science of dressing right, I have been studying the Kibbe body type system and seasonal color analysis for awhile now, and it was a great starting point. I ended up going really deep into it (like I would any other science), adding my own theories to it. I'd analyze and type friends and family, giving them fashion advice with great accuracy. As for myself, I still look sloppier than ever. Ugh. It's the shopping I hate. And I am too attached to my large comfy hoodies. I need to change lol. I mean, I am an attractive woman otherwise, and I'd like to settle down in the near future. Dressing like a 17 year old boy who lives in his mom's basement certainly isn't helping".

"As an INTP I get stuck in familiar and safe logical pattern loop, caused by my own thinking. On top of that I choose to endure that pain of not taking a risk, being open to risk and taking risk causes me anxiety. Not knowing what to want scares me even more cause i can see the logical fallacy of will and desire with its shortsighted-ness, which causes me further to retreat to my safe routine which i'm willing to endure cause its familiar or obligatory, not taking risk. Its like the saying 'paralysis by analysis', invoking fear and anxiety to risk taking."

"So, I am INTP and also a Psychology student. It's a little bit tiring explaining that I don't want to make therapy. I just want to follow the investigation path and well... they all just say then why did u choose Psychology- and then I am like bcs I WANTED TO KNOW HOW WE WORK. Sad hours... lol"

"I'm not afraid other people are stupid. I'm afraid they'll misunderstand, which is a slightly different Te nemesis manifestation because that misunderstanding is a HUGE threat to everything I do and it happens a lot. Also, I can be very ascetic. Wants are difficult for me. You put that on the Si child function but I really think it comes from the critic and the blindspot acting in tandem. Because Se trickster doesn't just mean I bump into stuff. I barely even recognize material reality. Like it actually [angers] me ... sometimes that I have to have a physical human body. I don't really understand the necessity of this skin suit. But as long as I've got it I may as well make it comfy right? So, I'm off to play PUBG and get some of that dopamine we love so much".

"As an intp I always felt like I could tell what people were going to do, but until now I never rlly figured the word used to describe it, I always just used the phrase i can read people better in certain situations but I never rlly felt socially adequate like others"

"Yeah... The best way to tick off an INTP is to know what peeves us, but do it anyway... We can tolerate a little, but one second past our timer(and you can't really ever know how long it will be at any given time), our patience will burn away FAST. The better we think you know us(<the "we think" is usually the reason it can seem to come out of the blue), the less tolerant ... we become. Our patience with strangers can be enormous(sometimes ridiculous or un-called-for), but those who we expect to be on our side are expected to know better(whether or not they understand that)... edit: typos"

"[Me: Context-- This is referring to an INTP being uncomfortable about being asked to talk about their innermost feelings casually.] As an INTP female, I have to say this was quite accurate :D I especially appreciated ''Never, ever ask and INTP how they feel! '' I would add, never give an INTP the advice "follow your hart". It makes zero sense to me :D"

"I'm an INTP, here's a little anekdote: When i was younger my dad often went out with me and my brothers to a lake and just relax in the evening before going to bed. So i was like 8/9/10 (dont know exactly) and before going there me and my brother had a discussion, about who is going to sit in the front seat in the car. We said he will sit there on the way to the lake and i will sit there on the way home. But when we wanted to go home, my brother switched into: "No, i am older than you and therefore its my right to choose the seat". We had a little fight and basically i was like: "Okay, ... i am out of here", so i just quit and walked about 15km into the little town where my grandparents lived, because - u know - at grandma's house everything is always fine :). My dad was searching for me, driving around and even thinking about calling the police..because i said NOTHING.. i was just gone I am 22 now and still i have some problems communicating my actions in terms of just leaving the situation. I am always thinking: "U dont have to care about me, you are fine as well so i dont have to care about you...so where is the problem?""

"I don't think an INTP forgets that he told the story already, I believe he tells the story he thinks about because it makes him feel better to talk about it. It's a selfish reason really, but I'm guilty as charged."

"i used to know this intp (i believe) friend. you are extremely on point... extremely. this guy was a red haired nerd who made me laugh harder than anyone i've ever met. i used to be amazed with his casual novel acumen. he often had me crying in laughter in class. he was a huge story teller (stories told over and over). i used to throw him random verbal stimulus (just throw ideas his way) to see his reaction. this man had, literally, zero friends in school (other than me) and i was generally considered somewhat popular and i would regularly leave larger popular groups of others to be around him for his insane entertainment value. he regularly called me a, "... idiot," which made me laugh every time (he would be dead serious when doing this). oh, and btw, i had to beg him to hang out with me when he did... to know how strange this is, you just have to know our situation i guess (like i said, i had the extreme social upper hand that he didn't care about)... anyway, he knew a bunch of small anarchist type knowledge like what would happen if you did these strange things like stick gum wrapper in a socket, rob places in particular ways; it was wildly interesting. the lack of attention he got from others baffled me because he was so unique and extraordinary in my eyes. i was always intrigued how his mind worked. it was intimidating being around this guy with so much street wisdom and casual ability to function flawlessly when he felt like it. ...he's now a pothead (smokes 4 times a day). he did earn a casual master's degree in psychology that he doesn't do anything with. if i smoked like he did, i would fail classes in days. he had a 4.0..."

"I was once told at 26 that I was too old to still be wearing “Sarcastic Tees” from Spencer’s like a 14 year old boy and should be wearing grown men clothes like a respectable member of society. I conceded to wearing flannel button up shirts over those tee shirts. May have been the best criticism that I ever received, because I’m often told how mature I dress now at 32... I guess not a lot of men these days look mature?"

"You just described my dad in 2 functions Ti= Super logical man. Loves motors and electricity. Thinks everybody's an idiot (Shadow Te) Si= Tells the same story a million times not knowing he told the story to the same person the last week. And the week before, and the week before. I've seen it. He doesn't know he's done it. 3 Sundays in a row he told the same story to the same man."

"Back when I graduated high school I skipped the ceremony. My family thought I was crazy and I was like, "so what, almost everyone has a high school diploma. Doesn't mean you're smart.""

"I had an INTP supervisor & his assistant is ISTP, they're brilliant with everything you've stated, but I think I was great at my office manger job & they were unsupportive with some changes I wanted to make. I was trying to create a more positive, supportive experience for our staff & clients by getting rid of [awful] staff. He agreed to fire 1 of the people I was adamant about, but ended up changing his mind (he can be a coward). At my last meeting with him he told me he appreciates me (but it pained him to do it) and I was very valuable to the program, so he does have a heart somewhere. He also said he was critical of me & other leadership staff, to help us. I let him have it. I'm not tolerating that .... He wanted to control everything, even from behind the scenes. He needs puppets and I wasn't going to be that. He is arrogant & 2-face. In front of clients & staff he pretends to be kind, behind their back he talks [badly about them]. He is also overly dependent on the istp too, when she leaves, he is [a goner]. Not a good match for me at all lol"

"[Me: Context-- INTPs are very chill until you ignore their warnings over and over and ruin their own life by extension.] I lost it when you described the Vegeta level tantrums.... So many flashbacks to grabbing the closest thing I could find and straight up hurtling it at someone's (my brother's) head."

"My first and to this day only experience in isfp super ego [Me: Meaning-- INTPs are their angriest/in a rage was, when my mom confronted me the morning before school that I didn't gave her an super important school letter the days before, so she wouldn't sign it that morning, I really thought I would need it this day (later I heard we would need it 2 days later, but I didn't know this at this moment) I saw my future and honor to the teachers and from the teachers breaking away, so let's get to the rage part, I ran into my bedroom and by mistake pulled the door 1meter away from where it should have been (it was ripped out those things which hold the door). That was a really shocky moment for me, because I thought I would have me under controle in such situations, but obviously I didn't."

"you nailed it why care when ppl don't want to know they hate you for caring"

"INTP here. As far as food goes, super adventurous and familiar at the same time. I'll try anything once, and if I like it I can eat it all the time. If I don't, I'll get the priciest/highest rated version I can to make sure it wasn't just the chef/ingredients."

"I'm a female INTP. I'm always so deep into my head that someone can be right beside me and I don't notice them. When they start talking to me, It startles me out of my head. There have been times when I have actually let out a slight scream. I usually get puzzled looks when I try to explain that I was deep in thought and didn't notice them."

"I'm an INFJ living with my boyfriend that is an INTP, and I had to laugh at some of your points because they're so accurate! This man is miserable [in] a suit!"

"I'm INTP and I'm trying to not stagnate, it's pretty weird, because it's seems easier to be moving than to start moving, so yeah moving is worth it I understand that logically, but that's not internalized and I just have incredible difficulty at starting to move forward, or even continue that without external help."

"i'm a intp, i love math, learning about things at school that are actually useful in my life, and the things that are not useful in my life i find it really hard to concentrate on."

"In school we had an art project once to do without the teacher. Just written instructions. I felt like I had understood what was asked and told my classmates. But they thought differently (in a actually wrong way). After ten minutes of pointless arguing I just left them where they stood and started doing my picture. I was practicly the only person who had time to finish. And I was the only one in my class that has understood the instructions correctly. In fact, this project had such bad results that the teachers didn't let it count for the grades. My whole class got Es and Ds while I got a B+. I got to keep the grade and dump another bad grade of mine."

"Used to think I was kind of a feeler and extroverted. Then I stayed alone over Covid... I invented a cure for aging and developed a new species of fish. I think I'm definately INTP. Absolutely nobody believes me, so I know that I must be one!"

"When I first saw the board, I saw Fe, Ti, Si and Ne. And literally it screamed out Iron, Titanium, Silicon and Neon."

"Although I’m not certain I am An INTP( I cannot figure it out!), the “everybody is stupid part” got humbled in me when I entered the oilfield workforce. I grew up with the idea that tradespeople are dumb, and if you aren’t university educated, you won’t be successful. After seeing firsthand that absolutely is not the case, and oftentimes we are struggling with the engineers( Usualt INTP) lack of foresight on their projects implementation. We also have this theoretical framework I use to learn how our plant works, but oftentimes it’s experience and outside the box thinking that operates the plant on a day to day basis. The framework is merely a framework, and reality is usually way different. Paper to implementation is never perfect. Tradespeople in my opinion are far more brilliant than those educated in our institutions and I find myself side by side with teachers, economists and the like. Something I didn’t mention was The humbling part for me was how stupid I was mechanically entering the work force. Able to explain complex plant processes but unable to drain a vessel to prepare for isolation( this is similar to how intps can become good cooks or drivers, by just doing it, million dollar concept eh??). I dedicated myself to doing things on my own like following manuals and YouTube videos for vehicle repairs and performing them myself. I am catching up to rest of my peers and once my working memory and mechanical ability are good, with my abstract ability I’ll be a very good plant operator."

"I’ve stopped doing it, now that I mostly eat lunch at home, but I had a habit of ordering only one dish in each restaurant I went to. My order was always the same, only the type of food changed. So, the waitress would see me and just put in my order. It was very efficient, I reasoned, no need to suffer through the ordering process every day. I wonder if they resented me for it or liked it."

"INTP's: say something that's obvious and really simple to us. ------------others:why are you so mean? ------INTP's: did you say something? ----Others: ...! ----- INTP: shrugs and goes back to absorbing information like a sponge."

"I am an INTP, but I don’t experience a lot of the apathy problems, mostly due to a dad that understands my needs. Also I understand the inferiority/ superiority paradox and constantly try to underestimate myself (still fail to see long term thinking in the majority of people) and try to give credit where credit is due"

"INTP female here; pretty accurate, feeling attacked lol used to be called ice princess as a child. my friends used to call me robot so when my [personality test] came out saying that INTPs are robots, my friends had a lot of fun with that."

"What would you say would be the cause for an INTP with a very messy apartment? I have a few things even from my high school days that haven't thrown away and I'm in my fifties. Also have trouble making decisions of what mail to throw away. Apartment at least navigable but not using nearly all the space that's available..."

"I have anger instead of apathy/indifference. I - or rather my Si - has gotten seriously tired of seeing the same mistakes happen constantly & their repercussions constantly affect my life too, so I can't bear to see people in my life make a similar mistake one more time; thus, I snap & I have to vent...."

"Don't fall into the trap of ignorance for Ti users: last known input or preferred input will make your Ti useless. You have to test and experiment with every opinion or premise, even if you disagree with them."

"A note on my physical environment: (I’m an intp) I do tend to set things down without even thinking about it, it’s like there’s a hidden part in my brain that decides when i want to put something down, and my body just does it, completely unaware. and since i don’t notice it, i can’t even consider whether the place i am setting the thing will lead to struggle in the future."

"[Me: Context-- Here's a rare 'brutally honest' INTP] I’m a woman who’s an INTP, and it’s definitely lonely lol I’m always correcting people, if what they are saying is false. I get told that most people don’t want to be corrected, and find it offensive. Which makes no sense to me. So I’m just rather indifferent when it comes to people. Same with advice, I’m brutally honest when people ask for my opinion/advice. They usually don’t accept it, and wonder why their situation didn’t turn out right"

"My fear of feeling like people around me are dumb have been quenched by my little brother being an ISTP, my mother being wise and my grandmother being an utter genius. If there are three intelligent people around me already there will be more. You will just have to find them and build networks of trust with people humble and knowlegable in their field. Edit: I had an emotional talk with my mother because I agree with my father (even tho his reasons are unknown) that my mother should stop funding my studies. Why? Because I feel like I need an incentive to do something, and I do nolonger want my father to have any authority to say anything to me. Just finally after 21 years to actually become a somewhat independent adult. I know I will always survive, but I am really stagnating."

"As a true INTP , i listened this while playing Sims 3 creating an INTP character , with music turned off while drinking coffee at 12:23 night. 10/10 would listen again. Anyway , i feel like only stupid people are repeating the same story over and over again. I have a rule , if i like a new person and we get close i use my crazy ... stories to "flex" and get close , but only one time. In fact if a person it's telling me the same story three times , im done, i send him/her to the "lame people zone"."

""Wisdom is like fire, it's truth. You gotta get burned in order to get closer to the truth."" THANK YOU. That was beautifully said."

AND LASTLY: INTPs who can't seem to pick a calling in life-- below is some advice (from Person B Person E, and Person F), commiseration, and soothing words of wisdom-- most INTPs change their jobs or career paths regardless because of their fluctuating interests!

Person A: "I am worried to pick my specialization. I dont know what to choose. I am interested in so many things and then i move on. Example: I love art, been going to extra curricular art class since childhood and we would try all different techniques. Even now when i do something, i am interested in it (sewing, knitting, editing photos, felting, clay modelling) and it never sticks long enough to become "proficient" in it, i do it just long enough to get the basics. I am using art or hand work techniques as an example, it is a hobby not a profession I wish to pursue..."

Person B: "Compare all interests, which one of them you stick to the longest and excites you the most. Use a scoring scale & hierarchy to compare so that it is easier to analyze. And then, refer to your Fe, of all those, which one would be the most beneficial to the society. Narrow down to 2-3 choices (you know it's hard to make one choice) and try exploring them (i.e take actions) to further make distinction which one is feasible for you to specialize in (I mean realistically). I was at one time that it is possible to me to choose any career path I want to, from medicine to architecture, from art and design to computer engineering. Just like in the video, a naive INTP decided not to choose because he knew people in those field and didn't feel like really great about them and thought it didn't feel too worthwhile to take on a path to be like them. I ended up compromising my specialization and chose a subjectively easier course just because I could continue learning other fields and I did learn them. Though right now, I didn't 100% regret my choice back then as I aspire to do integration of fields rather than traditional specialization, I didn't see any problem if I did choose one of the famous career path earlier and I might feel as fulfilling as I'm now but in different departments of fulfillment."

Person C: "I’m going through the same thing. I’ve completed my bachelors in science and I work as a youth worker... but I also want to be an author. In fact, it’s always been a passion but I’m just now realizing that. But I’ve also developed a passion in research while doing my undergrad so I’m wondering whether or not to pursue my masters since that might lead me to a more sustainable career"

Person D: "Everyone I Know: You are so gifted. You could literally be anything you wanted be without even trying. Just pick something. Me:.......There are so many options, but are any of them worth it. I fail to commit to one area of study and let years go by without moving forward in life."

Person E: "I think society puts so much pressure on what you're gonna do "for the rest of your life" and "it has to be the perfect fit FOREVER". Unfortunately it never works out like that, people change and you change, and you won't be the only person who will likely want to change careers later on in life, and that's ok. From what you wrote, it seems like you are more on the 'create and make' side of things, and I find that really cool, and I also think the best step forward would be to force yourself to stick to something and build it up a bit, after a while you'll find yourself comfortable with where you're at and you can either go to something else (creative jobs have lots of transferrable skills and you'll probably be very good at them if you wanted to) or stick with whatever you choose because it's now your new comfort zone Something that helped with my indecisive nature is reading a quote, basically: time will pass anyway, so might as well be a year in the future with a step forward towards a specific something than nothing at all."

Person F: "I struggled with this one for a bit at university when I found what I originally thought was the perfect profession that would blend everything together (medical illustration). I went to a school with a weak art program, wanted to transfer after the first year and felt guilty about starting something and not finishing it. I graduated with the degree but didn’t finish the art program. convinced a counselor to let me skip classes. Since I wasn’t at the level I needed to be 3 years ago, I changed my goal and decided to hold this one off until I’m way older. Do something for a few years then switch off when you’re ready for that next experience!"

WELP.

That's all for now!

If you want, I'll make another post in future-- maybe more INTPs, maybe some ISTJs (for Scully representation, post here~.)

Thank you for reading--

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

#Types #Typing #INTP #In Their Own Words #analysis #mine #comments #and only a little mention of:#Mulder #xfiles #txf #x-files #meta #xf meta #life #beautiful #MBTI #but not

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sch-com · 1 year

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uh I realised recently that I do indeed experience splitting or something akin to it

feel free to correct me if what I'm going to describe is not really splitting because tbh I have only a vague idea of what splitting is

1. I believe that life is utterly meaningless / I believe that we can create any meaning we want to

I realise these are not necessarily contradictory, but in my brain it's either one or the other. I either feel like everything is so pointless and I might as well just go to shit so I don't care and I embrace it

OR I yearn to find meaning in something, anything, I'm begging for something to just fill this void that I have inside me

2. I want to give up and just do whatever / I want to do something with higher purpose, something valuable

Very elated to 1., just. I either am so anhedonic that I don't even want to think about doing anything else other than stuff essential for my survival (this includes work and studying btw, just that I don't choose "ambitious" fields to go in)

OR I feel so guilty and stupid for choosing what I did, and I feel like I'm "wasting my potential" doing things that are not meeting some imaginary standard in my brain

3. I strive for organisation and order / I am giving up on trying to make sense of anything

I uh am a perfectionist ok, and I feel like I'm constantly fighting entropy, fighting disorder and desperatly trying to organise everything in my life, and I am very proud of that

OR I feel so hopeless, tired, and like none of it matters (see point 1.) that I want to give up so badly and hate myself for caring so much (to the point of pathology) about organisation

4. I value human experience and life and desperately want to be kind and want the world be a better place / I hate everyone and humanity is disgusting and I wish that all of us would just die

Sorry if this one is intense...

Eh I just, my core value is minimising the harm I cause others, and I'd like to be a positive value to the world, or at least to the small portion I can influence. I also can admire our achievements and the beauty of our creation and the kindness and compassion

OR I don't care. I hate what we made of ourselves. I hate what we made of this planet, I hate what we made of what it even means to live on this plane of existence. I hate that I am a person, I feel disgusted and I can't understand why anyone else doesn't see this much ugliness in this world

#schcomtalk #splitting #personality disorder #PD #schizoid #schizoid personality disorder #spd #szpd #scpd #obsessive compulsive personality disorder #anankastic personality disorder #ocpd #schizotaxic

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theslowesthnery · 5 months

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magpie-come-east:

I hope it’s alright to reply, but this is really spot on. I love Morgott and Mohg a ton. Personally I see just about every other month some hot take ‘discourse’ that basically goes: “Morgott is ugly and and gross so anyone that finds him attractive is a degenerate”. He’s not ‘niche’. Liking him isn’t ‘odd’. It’s degenerate behavior. And I’m sure it’s worse for Mohg. But I can’t even get tooo deep into fandom spaces for him because I’ll have to wade through defensive jokes about how hate-able he is

wow, i had no idea morgott got that as well - i thought everyone liked him! like i've seen the occasional "lmao why is morgott so popular with women, what do they see in this dirty old hobo" comment but they haven't been like super mean-spirited, mostly just confused. that sucks, i will never understand this need to put someone down for liking a character you personally don't. like why do people care so much that someone likes a character they personally find ugly? how is that any skin off their back? ughhh

and yeah, to like mohg you have to have a pretty thick skin (which i most definitely do not always have) and have to learn to just ignore the shit people are constantly spewing his and your way. morgott at least, regardless of what one thinks about his appearance, is perceived by pretty much everyone as a good, noble, and admirable character, whereas mohg doesn't even have that going for him (and appearance-wise he's even more inhuman-looking and uglier than morgott)

frostfall24:

unfortunately i dont know any mohg-dedicated fics, but rowa berries and royal blood and ageless bond are morg/tarnished fics that both include/are going to include some very loveable mohgs. neither are miq/mohg but they are friendly with eachother in both

thank you for the recommendation, unfortunately canon character x oc (which i consider the tarnished to be) stuff really just...isn't for me. like all the power to people who like and create that stuff, they're awesome, it's just so very much not my cup of tea. and to be completely honest, i just don't want to wade through 50-chapter fics of stuff i'm not interested in for the occasional mention of my fave, especially if mohg's clear canonical love for miquella is going to be erased (and as is the case of ageless bond, if not only is his love for miquella erased, but he's then paired with a woman. i'm not saying mohg can't be bi/pan but if you both erase the love he has for a male character and then also give him a female love interest, i'm gonna be a little 🤨 about it)

also i. i don't really know how to put it into words in a way that makes sense to anyone else, but i don't want mohg and his actions to just be whitewashed - i want there to be conflict between him and morgott, for example, i want mohg to be angry and bitter and vengeful, i want him hating the golden order and wanting it to be destroyed, i just want him and why he is the way he is to be understood and not just waved off with "he's evil because he just is, he was just born that way and has always been that way, that's all there is to it". i want people to try to understand why he turned out the way he did, what things might have happened in his past or how he might've been different from his brother as a child to choose such a completely different path from morgott. i want people to stop assuming that mohg was always the bad child, that mohg is personally responsible for everything bad happening and for him and morgott having gone separate ways, and for their relationship having gone sour. i want people to try to understand why mohg would choose the formless mother besides just "he wants power duh", how the formless mother might be using him for her own means. i want people to stop portraying him as a one-dimensional cruel, uncaring villain who just wants power for power's sake, and who treats everyone - including the people he loves - like shit. and i want people to stop having the solution to the mohg issue to always be "he's evil, kill him". he's just as traumatized and deserving of kindness and understanding and healing and love as morgott, and i want people to have the same compassion and understanding and wish to heal him as they do for morgott.

tl;dr: i don't want the solution to "stop writing mohg as one-dimensionally bad with no nuance and no compassion" to be "sand off every edge of mohg's and erase everything difficult about him"

but i also realize that i don't get to make demands, that people are gonna write what they want to write (as they should), and most people just don't want to write a nuanced mohg. so i'm just gonna sit here and wish that i could write, so i could be the change i want to see in the world ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#elden ring for blacklist

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coldsandfluff · 2 years

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The Owl Teacup (F/M, Original, Illness Care-Taking Fluff)

Still working on bringing over my sickfics from the forum over to Tumblr. This one is about a woman going on a blind date with a doctor, but she's coming down with a cold, and he notices. As usual, full of fluff and gentle care-taking.

The Owl Teacup

“Still here?”

Leonie blinked, pulled from her deep concentration by her coworker’s husky, warm voice. She slid her gaze from the brightly lit monitor to her office door just a few feet behind. Her eyes took forever to adjust to the distance shift after being locked on spreadsheets for hours. She could barely make out Lisa’s small silhouette backlit by the bright hallway.

Leonie struggled to swim back to reality, stuck in a hyperfocused haze of numbers and calculations. “What time is it?” She darted her eyes back at the screen and checked the computer clock. How could time fly by so fast?

“Almost 8:30 pm. When is your date?” Lisa took a step in the small, dark office. She reached for the light switch, but decided against it at the last second.

Leonie groaned, rubbing her face with both of her hands. “9:00 pm. I should just cancel. I’m definitely coming down with something.” She swallowed tentatively, and sure enough, there it was. A soreness deep in her throat, and a heavy, swollen feeling in the back of her palate. She’d been feeling under the weather for the past two days, downing orange juice every morning. She’d even tried a few fizzy vitamin C powder packets mixed with water, which tasted nothing like their advertised flavor.

“You can’t cancel again! He’s going to think you’re toying with him,” said Lisa. She took a seat in the hard plastic chair in front of Leonie’s desk.

Leonie hated those chairs. They made her feel like her body was a collection of sharp bones arranged just the perfect way to dig painfully into the plastic. A proletarian’s torture device.

“But Lisa, I’m sick! How rude would—“As if to illustrate her point, Leonie’s nose caught fire, twitching under the assault of a fierce tickle. Leonie sucked a breath through her mouth before catching a sneeze into the crook of her elbow. “Heh—TSHHiu!”

“OK, now you’re just being dramatic,” said Lisa, laughing. “Isn’t he a doctor anyway? He’s used to this kind of stuff. All you have to do is get through a one- or two-hour dinner, make a good enough impression for a second date, and you’re golden. You can work the charm later.”

Leonie grabbed a tissue from a box tucked neatly in her top drawer. “You just want me to go because he’s a doctor.” She blew her nose with one hand, blinking away the wetness in her teary eyes.

Sick or not, she had no desire to go. Her mother had arranged this date, which added insult to injury. Dating was too daunting for Leonie. Too many variables, too many emotions difficult to control. There was a reason she’d chosen to become an accountant. Numbers were her solace, a reprieve from her constantly brimming mind.

In fact, if she could choose right now between spending the night working on taxes, like she’d been doing for the past week, and going on a two-hour date with Dr. Vo, she’d pick work in a heartbeat.

“Come on,” said Lisa, her voice low and daring. “You don’t even sound sick yet. He won’t notice.” She cocked her head to the side. “If you can keep your nose in check, that is.”

Leonie sighed. Lisa was right; she’d already canceled twice because of work, hence the very late dinner date. And her mother would hold it against her if she didn’t at least try to meet the guy. She’d tell everyone in the neighborhood, including the cashier at her favorite grocery store, that her eldest daughter never listened to her and would end up alone, and did she ever tell them about this nice doctor she once tried to set her up with, and how much Leonie’s life would have been different if only she’d followed her dear old mother’s advice?

“Fine,” said Leonie, before hastily grabbing another tissue and burying her nose in it, her eyelids fluttering. “Ehh’NGXXT!”

“That’s pretty good! Just stifle them like that when he’s not looking. Won’t notice a thing.”

Leonie scoffed, wiping her nose. “Just a simple ‘bless you’ would suffice, Lisa.”

“Oh, bless you bless you bless you. Now come on, get out of here before you’re late!”

****

Night had fallen like a curtain and now draped over the city, dotted by street lamps casting their glow on the sidewalks. Leonie walked from spotlight to spotlight, readjusting the thin scarf around her neck. She regretted not choosing a thicker one this morning, and she especially regretted changing into a little black dress for her date. Goosebumps traveled in waves over her exposed legs with each gust of wind.

The wind was freezing, hailing from the last breath of winter. March had always been a moody, unpredictable month in New England. One day, spring almost veered into early summer, and the next, snowfalls wrecked havoc on the morning commute. No wonder Leonie had caught a cold. How was one supposed to dress in March?

Leonie felt a buzz in her coat pocket. Another text from her mom.

Mom: Ask him what he misses about Vietnam.

Leonie rolled her eyes. It was the tenth conversational tip her mom had sent today, all of them regarding something Vietnamese. His favorite Vietnamese dish, how to say “good morning” in Vietnamese, his thoughts about the Vietnam War (!), and other clumsy, Vietnamese-obsessed questions.

Leonie: I get that he’s Vietnamese, mom, but I don’t think he wants to talk about his heritage all evening. Plus, wasn’t he born here?

Mom: I’m just trying to help!

How had Leonie gotten to this point in her life? Single at thirty-four, going on a blind date arranged by her own mother, desperate enough to brave the unpredictable weather with a blossoming cold just in case the man turned out to be dating material. The probabilities were against her, and she knew it. Her mind was mathematical, yet her heart never listened.

Leonie sniffled as a gust of wind made her eyes and nose water. Her sinuses felt hot and heavy.

A pang of nostalgia and sadness hit her square in the chest. She missed her ex the most when she was sick. She had this crisp memory of him bringing her a cup of tea in bed when she’d caught a cold, right before they broke up. He’d chosen her favorite mug, the one shaped like an owl. After placing it on her nightstand, he’d lovingly kissed her forehead. One last shred of tenderness before it all turned sour.

It was over a year ago, and yet Leonie still longed for that moment whenever she felt vulnerable. If she were a superhero, this would be her weakness. A dash of rhinovirus and a cup of hot tea: her very own Kryptonite. Enough to turn her into a blubbering, needy mess.

Her phone still in her hand, she navigated to the contact list, as she’d done thousands of times before, flicking right to Mike’s phone number. She glanced down at it as she walked, knowing that she wouldn’t call, and yet feeling comforted that if she wanted to, she could.

But he probably wouldn’t answer.

She pocketed her phone, and instead fished a packet of tissues. Her runny nose had turned devilishly tickly. Leonie took a few shallow breaths, trying to hold in the sneeze while she fumbled with the tape on the cellophane. She stopped walking to focus on the task at hand, her eyes half-closed and her head tilting, as if pulled back by the tickle in her sinuses. Her fingers tore impatiently at the packet, but it was too late. She doubled over, sneezing uncovered towards the ground.

“Hehh—TSSHHiu!”

A passerby jumped out of the way, startled. “Geez, bless you!”

He continued on his way without waiting for a thank you, chuckling at his own reaction. Leonie’s face had turned lava red, her skin scalding from embarrassment.

A few blocks away, Dr. Vo probably waited for her at the bar & grill he’d chosen.

Leonie was five minutes late, Kryptonite-riddled, and ready for the night to be over.

****

This isn’t too bad, Leonie tried to convince herself as she took a sip of iced water, menu in hand. She was sitting in front of Dr. Vo, or Patrick, as he’d insisted that she calls him.

The fact that he wasn’t 60 years old had somehow managed to shock her. She, of course, knew he was in his late 30s; her mother had told her so, but Leonie still refused to believe that doctors could be her age. She always imagined them to be the good old doctors who needed glasses to write up a prescription, with their wrinkly hands and grandfatherly smile. She’d forgotten that she was now at the age where doctors could even be YOUNGER than her. How horrifying.

But Patrick was far from horrifying. Leonie looked at him over her menu. He had the kindess eyes she’d ever seen. His angular face softened the moment he locked eyes with you, his whole face alive in a quiet, yet intense focus. His black hair peppered with gray reinforced his calm and composed demeanor. In an emergency, Patrick seemed like the type of person to take control and keep everyone settled.

“Should we get any appetizers? You must be starving after working so late,” said Patrick, lowering his menu and giving her a sympathetic look. “I hear their mozzarella sticks are delicious.”

Leonie had to concentrate on Patrick’s lips to make out what he was saying. The bar & grill was packed with people. The buzzing of conversation had reached the noise level of a spaceship launch, rumbling through her brain and giving her a headache.

“Sure, that sounds good!” she said, trying to sound excited.

They sat in silence for another minute, eyes glancing over the laminated menu. Leonie realized that she hadn’t mentally prepared for this date. Not only had she somehow expected Patrick to be an old, almost-retired doctor, but conversation subjects also eluded her. She tried to form interesting questions in her mind, but the noise and a brewing tickle in her sinuses made it incredibly hard to concentrate.

“So my mother mentioned that you’re Vietnamese? Do you speak the language?” she blurted out without taking her eyes from the menu. The bitter taste of instant regret filled her mouth. She’d sworn that she would stay far away from any dumb questions about his ethnicity. Thanks, mom.

“I’m actually Japanese.”

Leonie’s heart dropped. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I—“

“No, no, I’m joking! I’m Vietnamese,” said Patrick with an uneasy chuckle. “I apologize, I tend to make terrible jokes when I’m nervous.”

Leonie looked at him in shock, her eyes wide. And then burst out laughing. Patrick joined in, until they were both laughing so hard that people glanced at them from the neighboring tables.

The joke had been so unexpected, and the delivery so impeccable, that Leonie’s nerves had turned into uncontrollable giggles. And just like that, the tension between them disappeared.

“Your deadpan is amazing,” said Leonie, out of breath and almost euphoric from the laughter.

“So I’ve been told, but it gets me in trouble sometimes,” replied Patrick, back to his initial composure. “And to answer your question, I do not speak Vietnamese. My parents both moved here when they were young and spoke English to me. They know Vietnamese, but they didn’t pass it on to me, sadly.”

The waiter interrupted them, introducing himself and asking if they were ready to order. While Patrick asked about their selection of beers, Leonie sniffled, feeling the tickle growing more intense. A sneeze was definitely brewing. She picked up her menu and tried to hide behind it.

The burning sensation traveled from the back of her sinuses to the right side of her nose. Leonie itched a few breaths, praying that Patrick wouldn’t finish ordering before the sneeze came. She folded her index finger under her nose, while keeping the menu up with the other hand. Finally, her head bobbed towards her chest.

“Ehh… Hh! IIH’GNXTT!”

She gave a little sniff and let out a sigh of relief. With the amount of ambient noise, Patrick couldn’t have heard the stifle.

“And for you, miss?”

Leonie lowered her menu, looking up at the waiter in confusion.

“Anything to drink?” he said politely, pen and paper in hand.

“Oh! I’ll have a glass of Riesling, thank you.” She winced at how congested her voice sounded. She sniffled again, trying to act casual, and glanced back at Patrick.

Hopefully he hadn’t noticed anything.

****

The ice had been proverbially shattered.

Much to Leonie’s surprise, she and Patrick had fallen into conversation as naturally as old friends who hadn’t seen each other in forever. For the next hour, not a second of silence had a chance to settle between them.

The only interruptions came from the waiter, who brought them their drinks and a plate of mozzarella sticks. Patrick had eaten half of the appetizer, and politely left the other half for Leonie, but she wasn’t particularly hungry. At least the wine had dulled her senses, along with her symptoms. Patrick was also keeping her entertained, recounting stories of his childhood camping trips. Leonie practically forgot her burgeoning illness.

But shortly after they sent the waiter away for the fifth time, asking for “a little bit more time” to make a decision on their entrees, Leonie’s nose decided it was done being ignored.

She felt the telltale signs of a sneeze deep within her sinuses, but gave it no mind, focusing instead on Patrick’s story.

“…parents would let us pitch our own tent further in the woods…”

However, the tickle grew exponentially stronger, sending a shiver down Leonie’s back. She tried to quell it by pushing her tongue up her palate, but it didn’t make a dent in the sneeze’s progression. When she sniffed, the tickle sizzled like a splash of water on burning coal.

“…left the tent pole at the camp, but after making such a fuss with the parents…”

This wasn’t going to be a one-off sneeze that Leonie could hide behind a menu. Despite her eyes watering, she tried to maintain an interested smile, nodding along at the story. But she was no longer paying attention, her focus consumed by the ravenous tickle making its way down her nose.

“…shapeless tarp on the ground, and all sorts of nocturnal animals that…”

She could feel her eyes closing involuntarily, her nose scrunching ever so slightly. She had to act fast, but wasn’t sure what do to. Risk a snotty, sneezing fit in front of her date and humiliate herself, or interrupt his story and run to the restroom, making him think that she battled some sort of digestive trouble.

Ultimately, she just couldn’t trust her nose.

“…didn’t end up sleeping much, staring at the stars and waiting for—“

“I’m s—so sorry Patrick, could you eh… excuse me a second?”

Leonie grabbed her purse and headed towards the restroom behind Patrick, trying her best to act as normal as possible. Her lips parted, her breath hitched. She had almost reached the restroom’s door when the tickle took complete hold of her nose.

“EHH’NNGGXXT!”

Leonie stumbled forward in her heels under the force of the stifle, but held her balance. She prayed that Patrick wasn’t watching her right now, wondering why she’d left so abruptly. She pushed the door to the ladies’ room without glancing back.

She locked herself in a stall, rolling a wad of toilet paper around her hand while the next sneeze built up. Her eyes were streaming from the intensity of the burn in her sinuses, and she longed for some relief.

She leaned back on the stall door and gave herself fully to the fit.

“EEHT’SSSHHiu!! EHHh… TSSHHHH! NNT’SSHHiu!”

Leonie buried her nose in the rough toilet paper, catching every sneeze, but she wasn’t done. Mucus had loosened up in her nose and spawned another irresistible tingle. She threw the used wad of paper in the toilet and grabbed another one, rubbing her nose furiously with it. She gave a tiny, liquid sniffle, which was enough to trigger another set of itchy sneezes.

She breathed one urgent, quivering lungful of air and covered her nose with the toilet paper. The sneezes came hard and fast, riding on the same breath and leaving her panting.

“EHH’TSSSHHUU—TSSSHiu! TSSHH—Tssshh—Tshhh…!”

She gasped, and one last, powerful sneeze echoed in the empty restroom. “HEHH’TSSHHHIIUUU!!”

Finally, the tickle was gone.

Leonie blinked away the tears. She blew her nose a few times to clear her sinuses as much as possible, but the damage was done. The cold had now officially taken over.

****

When Leonie rejoined the table, a fresh glass of wine was waiting for her. Patrick smiled, but didn’t mention anything about her sudden escape to the restroom. Polite and considerate, no wonder Leonie’s mother wanted her to meet him.

Leonie took a sip of her wine, struggling with the throbbing pressure behind her eyes and nose. The restaurant had somehow gotten louder. Groups of people were laughing raucously, enjoying drinks and relaxing after a hard week. The lights had been dimmed even more, and music blared through the speakers peppered around the room, some fast tempo with a lot of bass. The bar & grill was turning into a club & grill.

Patrick said something to Leonie, but she couldn’t understand him.

“Not hungry?” he repeated louder, pointing at the mozzarella sticks. Crap. This poor man had waited until 9 pm to meet her for dinner, and all he’d had to eat was half a measly appetizer.

“Sorry, I’ve been working such long hours, I forget what it’s like to be a human being,” she joked. “But please, you should order dinner!”

“I would tell you that skipping meals is not good for your health, but I myself had to skip lunch today to squeeze a patient in… and then broke down at 7 pm and ate a sandwich. Or two.”

Leonie laughed. “What a great pair we make, unable to feed ourselves like real human beings.” She bit her bottom lip. Maybe using the word “pair” was a little too strong on the first date.

“Busy lives, busy minds,” he said, shrugging. “We always find a way to make it work.”

“Speaking of which, thank you for not giving up on me after I rescheduled twice.”

He chuckled. “Well, your mother had great things to say about you. I couldn’t pass this chance.”

Leonie almost choked on her sip of wine. “Wait, you talked to my mother directly? I thought this was a mother-to-mother kind of deal?”

“Oh no, she’s a patient of my partner at the clinic. He introduced us a few months ago when she came for her annual exam. She called the office a couple of times to make sure that you and I would meet.”

Leonie was fuming. “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe she pestered you like that…”

“Don’t be. I’m glad that she did. I’m having a great time.”

Leonie blushed, unable to keep from smiling. It was too early to call, but she really did enjoy his company. She hated to admit that her mom was right, but despite her illness, Leonie felt comfortable around Patrick. Maybe she was finally ready to move on and share her life with someone new.

She shook her head. This was classic Leonie; getting ahead of herself. She’d met the guy less than an hour ago, and she was already imagining moving in with him and having kids. What was wrong with her. How about enjoying the present and the casualness of hanging out with someone for a while? Why did everything have to be so serious with her?

Suddenly, she longed to go back to the office and bury her head in numbers.

As Leonie took another sip of wine, she tipped the glass over her nose a little deeper, and got a whiff of the fruity, sweet perfume of the drink. For some reason, it irritated her sinuses. Her nose twitched under the glass while she finished her sip. She swallowed quickly, knowing a sneeze was impending, but she barely had time to lower the glass. It came so fast that she didn’t have time to formulate a plan on how to subdue it. She reflexively turned to the side and brought a loose fist under her nose to lessen the inevitable spray.

“Ehh’TSHHiu!” She kept her knuckles over her nose, embarrassed to sneeze at the dinner table like this, so close to food. Even if no one was eating it.

“Bless you.”

Leonie lifted her head to thank Patrick. He was looking at her, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes even kinder than before, which seemed almost impossible. Leonie sniffed and winced at how wet it sounded, further adding to her embarrassment. At least her nose wasn’t overly runny. Yet.

“How about we go somewhere more quiet?” said Patrick over the noise of laughter from a neighboring table.

Leonie nodded, rubbing at her nose. Patrick dropped a few bills on the table, and they filed out of the restaurant, avoiding eye contact with the poor server who’d tried taking their order about a million times.

****

As soon as they stepped outside, Leonie let out a sigh of relief. The night was cold and quiet, and the moon tiptoed in the sky.

Leonie welcomed the contrast. Because her ears had overadjusted to the loudness of the bar, sounds now appeared muffled to her. She always loved that feeling. It was like walking through cotton balls, enveloped by clouds and protected from the sharp edges of the world.

“The nights have gotten so cold these past few days,” said Patrick, rubbing his hands together.

Leonie nodded and took a deep breath, enjoying the refreshing cold wind on her face. Her nose, however, did not particularly like it. She gave a pathetic little sniff to keep it from running too much without alerting Patrick, but all it did was set off another tickle. Great, she thought. Nowhere to hide.

Patrick stood right in front of her. “Let me see if there’s any coffee shops open late around here.” He grabbed his phone from his pocket. “If you still want to hang out, of course,” he added, lifting his gaze from his screen to await Leonie’s answer. He then paused, studying her face curiously while she fought the tickle.

Oh to hell with it, Leonie thought. She lifted her index finger and muttered, “I’m sorry, I gotta sn—sneeze… hhHH! IIH’TSSHiiu!”

She turned to her side, sneezing in her elbow. A couple of small coughs escaped her throat as she regained composure.

“Leonie—“ started Patrick, but Leonie interrupted him with her index finger once again.

“H—Hold on… EHH’TSSHHiu! TSSHHHiu!”

“Bless you.” Patrick took a packet of tissues from his coat’s inner pocket and offered it to Leonie. “You must be coming down with something.” He said it with such kindness that Leonie’s Kryptonitis tingled deep within her chest. “As a doctor, I would advise you to go home and rest, drink plenty of fluids…”

Leonie took out a tissue from the pack and wiped her nose. There was a “but” in his tone, which immediately soothed her embarrassment at being found out so easily.

“But as I said earlier, I really enjoy your company, so I’d like to offer you a quick cup of tea before I send you home. Of course, if you really don’t feel good, we can reschedule.”

Leonie knew that the correct course of action was to cut her losses. End it while Patrick was still somewhat into her, and try again later. She could hear Lisa in her head. “You’ve got him in your pocket, get out before it turns ugly.” But then again, wasn’t he a doctor? Lisa had said it herself: he was used to this.

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the low-grade fever creeping up on her, but Leonie felt daring. Almost adventurous, which didn’t often happen to her. She didn’t want to go home and lay in bed, feeling lonely. She wanted to hear more of Patrick’s stories and…

And get that cup of tea.

“I’d love some tea,” she said with a smile. “If you don’t mind all the sneezing…”

Patrick chuckled. “I may only be a family doctor, but I have stories that would make even the worst sneeze pale in comparison. But I usually keep those for the second date, so you will have to wait. Now come on, the coffee shop is only a few blocks away. Let’s get you out of the cold.”

****

Silence befell them at last, peaceful and comfortable. As they walked, Leonie listened to the sound of their steps on the sidewalk: a chorus of arrhythmic patters, one high and thin, the other low and full. The wind ran over buildings like a ghost, howling and whistling.

Shivers had started running up and down Leonie’s spine. Her bones felt oddly floaty, and her eyes burned. Yet her spirits ran high. Definitely a buzz from the wine, but also from her fever. She could feel it on her cheeks and her nape. Low-grade, for sure. She tended to run a temperature when she had a cold, and it always gave her a tipsy-like feeling.

She thought of Mike and then decided not to, mentally scribbling over the image of his face. She stole a glance at Patrick. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were fixed on the ground. Was he thinking of his ex, too?

Was this what dating would be like from now on? Missing what was lost, hoping to find it in a stranger? Jumping from one ex to the future other? She shook her head. Stop it with the depressing thoughts.

“Oh, what is this?” said Patrick next to her, stopping in his track. He was pointing at a small alley in which a wall was painted black and covered in colorful writing.

Leonie approached the wall. “It’s a ‘Before I die…’ wall! I’ve heard about it a few months ago, but I’ve never seen one in real life. You’re supposed to use a piece of chalk to write down what you want to accomplish before you die.”

Inscriptions of different styles and angles, sizes and colors formed a beautiful jumble of hopes and dreams. Some were simple, like “Meet my neighbors,” while others were more humorous, such as “Find Atlantis.” Leonie loved the deeper ones, like “Make the world beautiful,” “Be an Iron Man,” “Forgive and be forgiven.”

“This is beautiful,” she murmured.

Patrick bent down to retrieve a few pieces of chalk on the ground. “This may be too heavy for a first date, but…” He handed Leonie a purple piece of chalk. “What do you want to accomplish before you die?”

Leonie picked it up. “Right back at you, of course.”

They both turned to the wall and took a moment to think about it. Leonie didn’t want to veer in the overly dramatic, but she also wanted to be honest. What would she wish to do before she died? What would she regret not achieving once on her death bed?

While Leonie struggled with the question, Patrick stepped up to the wall, choosing a blank spot above the rest. Although he was tall, he still needed to be on his tippy toes to write in big, loopy letters: “Make a true difference in the world.”

Leonie felt a tug at her heart. “You don’t feel like you’re making a difference by helping your patients, and even saving their lives?”

Patrick turned to face Leonie, a few deep wrinkles on his forehead. “Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough, or not big enough. The world is so vast and my influence so small. I’d like to see if I can do better than this.”

Leonie nodded, touched by his honesty.

She sniffled, her nose starting to run again. She walked up to the wall and lifted her head to write her own message. She squeezed it in between two other big wishes, her letters small and neat, as if she were writing it only for herself to see.

“Find my place in the world.”

As Leonie started the loop on the very last “d,” the wind picked up and blew a fine dusting of chalk at her face. She finished her letter, fighting a fierce tickle. Her breath hitching, her nose flaring, she took a few steps back without looking. She inadvertently stepped on a piece of chalked behind her and stumbled back.

Patrick, standing to her right, instantly reached his arm around her back to prevent her from falling. Leonie straightened up with his help, but the sneezes were unfazed by the near-fall. She managed to turn to her left, sneezing in the crook of her elbow while Patrick still had his hand on the small of her back, making sure she was stable. Their bodies were so close that Leonie could feel herself leaning against Patrick’s chest as each sneeze pushed her towards him.

“HH’IITSHHiu! Eh… EHH’TSSHHiu—Tshhh! NT’SSHHiuu!”

“Oh my, bless you!” said Patrick as he held on. “Are you alright?”

Leonie’s fevered cheeks were blazing hot. “Yes, I’m sorry, I…” Her voice cracked and she coughed a few times, stepping away from Patrick.

“No need to be sorry,” he said, his eyes still filled with worry. “But you don’t sound well. And you seem really flushed.”

He extended his hand, but hesitated halfway to Leonie’s face. However, his doctor instinct seemed to kick in, and his eyes locked in an almost professional resolve. He placed his palm on Leonie’s cheek first, and then the back of his hand on her forehead.

“This isn’t very accurate,” he said, holding out his hand, “but I’m fairly certain that you have a fever.”

Leonie nodded, sheepish, as if he was about to scold her. A shiver wracked her body, both from the fever and the fright of almost falling down.

“You’re shivering,” Patrick said, looking down at Leonie’s arms as she crossed them over her chest. “Let me drive you home.”

****

“Do you need anything?” Patrick asked, one hand still on the wheel of his car. They were idling in front of Leonie’s apartment building, the vents loudly blowing hot hair to keep them warm.

“Yes, I should be alright.” Leonie stared out of the fogged-up window. She felt awful. As much as she didn’t want to end the evening so soon, she longed for the safety and comfort of her own home. Inviting Patrick up would send the wrong message, even if it was just for coffee. Or tea. “I’d love to see you again… Once I’m better.”

“I’d love to as well.”

Leonie offered a parting smile and reached for the door handle when Patrick asked, “Do you have any medicine at home?”

Leonie paused. “Hmm. I think I have some ibuprofen or something like that.”

“I can go to the drugstore and get medicine if you would like. What are your symptoms?”

Leonie repressed a smile. Maybe Patrick didn’t want to end the night so soon either. “Headache, a bit of a fever, sore throat, sneezing, congestion… I think that’s it.”

“Go home and get warm. I’ll come back to drop off the supplies and then let you rest.”

Leonie nodded and gave him her apartment number, then stepped out of the car. She made her way up to the eighth floor and into her apartment with an odd feeling of irreality. As if her mind was floating out of her body, the stitches unseamed. The fever played a part in it, but so did the absurdity of the evening. She’d never had a date so… atypical.

And she kind of liked it.

Of course, she didn’t like being sick, but it had triggered a couple of very honest moments with Patrick. Her previous dating experiences had been quite different. Everything was usually all surface, like the hard shell on a sugar-coated candy. Except she never had the guts to bite hard enough to get to the center, too afraid of what kind of rotten flavor hid inside. It was like playing an unwanted game of Bertie Bott’s.

She turned on the lights in her studio apartment. The place was clean, as always, so there was no need to worry when Patrick would be back with the supplies. Her bed was made, the sink was empty. Everything was in its place.

She kicked off her heels, feeling the cold hardwood floor under her feet. Shivering, she turned on the heating and fetched a warm sweater and some thick socks from her dresser. She caught a glimpse or her pale face in the mirror. She didn’t look too bad. A bit tired, but her flushed cheeks and her glistening eyes could almost pass as a fresh face after a ski day.

Leonie sat on her bed and hugged a pillow to her chest. She looked out the huge window taking up almost the entire back wall of her apartment. She’d chosen this particular unit because of the window. In the distance, she could see traffic on the highway, surrounded by city lights. At night, it looked like a river of scintillating rubies dancing in a field of stars. It was mesmerizing.

But somehow tonight, her tiny studio felt vast and empty, and she longed for Patrick to come back. She resisted the urge to fetch her phone and scroll down to Mike’s name once again.

Staring out the window, Leonie tried to estimate the number of rubies dancing on the highway. How many would cross the river in an hour’s time, a month’s time, a year’s time? She focused on the digits flicking through her brain as she counted. Soon, her eyes blurred, and she was lulled into a gentle slumber.

****

A knock on the door pulled Leonie out of the void. She opened her eyes, disoriented. Her skin radiated warmth. One look at her clock told her that she’d been sleeping for about 25 minutes. She tried to sniffle, but her nose was completely blocked.

Another knock and Leonie remembered Patrick. My date. Who offered to buy medicine for me, she reminded her foggy brain. She stood up and swayed, her body shivering as though the bed had sucked out all of its warmth.

She opened the door. “Hey.”

“I’m back, sorry it took so long,” said Patrick, examining her with an almost clinical intensity. “I had a hard time finding a pharmacy open 24/7.”

Leonie stepped out of the way, inviting him in.

“I don’t want to impose—“ started Patrick, but Leonie waved her hand, as if to put an end to the back-and-forth niceties she didn’t have the energy for.

“Come in and warm up for a few minutes at least,” she said.

Patrick walked to the counter, admiring the large window and the clean studio. He put down a reusable canvas bag who’d clearly been “reused” quite a bit. It bore the name of the state University, where he’d probably studied.

“Come sit down, you’re swaying,” said Patrick.

Leonie nodded and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast counter. Her head felt heavy and her throat was scratchier than before. Napping had been a terrible idea. She felt sicker and drained of all energy. Every time she moved, it was like a northern wind blew across her skin and made her shiver.

She watched as Patrick unloaded the bag. A box of cold medicine, some throat lozenges and a thermometer.

“I wasn’t sure if you had one of these,” Patrick said, removing the thermometer from the package. “It’s good to keep track of your temperature and see if the medicine is working.”

He slid the device across the counter towards Leonie, who took it and slipped it under her tongue. She took a deep breath and pressed the button, closing her lips together. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. She could not breathe through her nose.

When it finally beeped, she exhaled with relief and looked at the results. “101.1, not too bad.”

Patrick nodded. “But it’s enough to make you feel bad.”

“I’ve been better,” she admitted, tempting a smile. “But I’ve been worse, too.” Her voice sounded rough and congested. She got up. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Nothing for me, thanks. I should let you sleep. I just wanted to make sure that you’d have everything you need.” He looked at Leonie as she walked around the counter to join him in the inner kitchen area. “But you need to keep yourself hydrated. Maybe some tea?”

Leonie nodded, her heart fluttering. A cup of tea.

She grabbed the kettle on the stovetop and turned to the sink.

Patrick extended his hand towards it. “Want me to make it for you?”

Leonie hesitated, but shook her head. “Nah, I got this. Thank you.” She filled the kettle and clicked on the gas. The flame popped and she fetched her mug. The mug. The one in the shape of an owl. She dropped a bag of lemon and ginger tea in it and set it down on the counter, waiting for the water to boil.

A tickled formed in the back of her throat. She tried to clear it, but it turned into a small cough that she caught in the crook of her elbow. She winced in pain.

“I can check your throat to make sure it’s just a cold,” offered Patrick. He chuckled. “Sorry, I’m having trouble keeping ‘Dr. Vo’ from taking over.”

Leonie giggled at how embarrassed he looked, a first since she’d met him. A crack in his polite, controlled behavior. It was adorable.

“If you can save me a trip to the doctor later on…” she said before heaving herself onto the counter. The cold marble seeped through her thin jeans and sent another shiver up her back, but this time it reverberated through her nose. A tickle quickly formed, and Leonie held a hand in front of Patrick as he approached her. He stopped, confused, but understood when he saw her eyes closing and her nostrils flaring.

Leonie tilted her head back as the prickle expanded. Her knuckle reached reflexively under her nose to quell the irresistible, exquisite itch, but it only seemed to enhance it. Her breath quivered as she inhale deeply and launched forward, bringing her sweater over her nose just in time.

“Hhhh… EHHT’SSHHHiu!”

She kept her collar over the lower half of her face, her eyes still shut, feeling the tickle build up again.

“EH’TSSHiiu!”

“Bless you,” said Patrick, his voice so tender that Leonie felt weak. “I’m so sorry you don’t feel good. Hopefully it’ll be over in a few days.”

Behind him, the kettle whistled. Patrick turned and picked it up, then filled the mug to the brim and set it down on the counter next to Leonie. She stared at it, sniffling, trying to keep her feelings under control.

“May I?” Patrick said, his hands towards her face. He was tall enough that they were almost face to face. Leonie nodded. When his hands first touched her on either side of her neck, goosebumps traveled like a wave on the map of her skin. She closed her eyes, breathing in through her mouth. His fingers felt cool on her hot skin, and rough from overwashing. He palpated her neck symmetrically on each side, below her jaw, feeling for swollen lymph nodes.

It should have felt cold and clinical. Even embarrassing. But somehow, it felt intimate and loving.

Patrick’s hands went down towards her throat, always gentle. Leonie opened her eyes and saw a look of concentration on his face. His eyebrows knitted, his eyes following his own movements. Leonie bit her bottom lip and glanced at the cup of tea steaming at her side.

Her mind was a blur of emotions, attraction, neediness, nostalgia, desire. How could she tell them apart, how could she know what was real and what was Kryptonite?

Patrick grabbed his phone and turned on the flashlight mode. “I’ll use this to look at your throat. Close your eyes so I don’t blind you.”

Leonie closed them, but as soon as Patrick turned his device towards her, the flash of light through her eyelids was enough to set off another tickle. She squeezed her eyes and lifted a hand.

“H—Hold… Ehh…”

Patrick quickly move the light away as Leonie turned to her side. She muffled a sneeze in her elbow.

“EHH’TSSHHHiiu!”

“Sorry,” Patrick chuckled. “Bless you. Better now?”

Leonie nodded, sniffling. At least the sneeze had cleared her mind a little. She shook her head and her shoulders, trying to loosen the fever’s grip.

Her nose behaved when Patrick tried again. She opened her mouth and said “Aaah” when asked. And just like that, the examination was over.

Patrick took a few steps back to give Leonie some space. “No signs of a serious infection in your throat. Some inflammation though, but that’s normal with a cold. Your lymph nodes are a bit swollen, so they might be tender for a few days. Like I said before, you need to rest. Sleep as much as you can, drink as often as you can. Don’t go to work tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday,” said Leonie with a smile.

“I know, but you’ve been overworking yourself for the past two weeks,” Patrick countered, his voice stern with concern. “So I wouldn’t be surprised if you thought you absolutely needed to go in tomorrow to finish something. I have patients like you. Hardworking and loyal. But think about yourself first for a few days, alright?”

Leonie nodded, keeping her eyes down. He wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Alright, I’ll let you go back to sleep now.” Patrick pocketed his phone and looked around the studio one last time, as if making sure everything was in order before leaving.

Leonie slid down the counter without a word and went in for a hug. After a split second of surprise, Patrick closed his arms around her small, warm body and pressed her back gently. “I hope you feel better very soon.”

****

Once Patrick was gone, Leonie took the owl teacup and emptied it in the sink. She grabbed a different cup, steeped another bag. Then, she walked to the window and sipped her hot drink, watching the rubies flow.

In a few days, when she’d feel better, she’d call Patrick to ask him on another date.

But in the meantime, she’d just drink her tea.

And everything would be alright.

#sneezefic #sneeze fic #sickfic #caretaking #illnessfic #caretaking kink #sneeze kink #snz fic #care-taking #fever kink #illness kink #snzblr #snzfic

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megamindsecretlair · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by the lovely @umber-cinders, TY

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

None. I just made an A03 a few weeks ago and it will take a long time for my brain to figure out how to put my stuff on there LOL. On Tumblr, jeez, let me see. I have 35? So far. I counted my two series as 2.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh lordt, let me see. On Tumblr, I have...roughly 168,964 words across all my fics. YIKES. And I can't even write in my books LOL

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel, They Cloned Tyrone, Snowfall, and Scream.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sprung - Tyrone

Stay With Me - Tyrone

Sunday - Tyrone

Run it Back - Tyrone

Pray For Me - Franklin

Gonna link my masterlist because why not: Megamind's Secret Files

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love getting comments. I want people to know I appreciate them taking the time to read and comment. I love discussing my writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Through the Fire. It was such a sad ending! It had to be done! Someone said "What kind of sane person would write an ending so sad???" Literally made my day as a writer.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them got happy endings LOL. But the one that ended the sweetest, hm, probably...Sunday?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. I be in my own little corner of the innanet and all my comments and reblogs have been positive! It might change with my Kang fic and I'm okay with that. Block button is my bestie.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YES! A thousand times yes. So far, they've all been one shot smut fics that resolves itself. I have some pt 2's coming, but I'm so behind on Tyrone asks. I'm sorry!!!! I will get to them, promise.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Never did a crossover. My fandoms are all over the place and the only one to use for crossovers is Marvel and I'm not that confident yet. I don't hate on folks who do, but not the type of fics I be reading.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope it never does. That's so heartless and unnecessary. Everyone can write. You don't need to steal.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. That would be a huge compliment though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah. But I'm constantly flinging my fic ideas at friends and they share with me. I love it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm so not a person that ships, it's terrible. Canon relationships bore me to tears or I know that the writers are gonna do some fuck shit to break them up, so why bother? However, I'm obsessed with Attoye and Janine and Gregory from Abbott Elementary.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Believe it or not, I write fics in the moment and release them in the wild before I have a chance to go back and change everything. I only plot my series. And I plan to finish both series! I've been trying to think of what other series I can do.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write dialogue pretty well. I'm able to write things in character and pay attention to their characteristics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Do we have all day? LOL. Nah, I think scene descriptions are still my biggest weakness. I always put them in a white room and it's hard picturing it well enough to write it down. I'm trying to work on it!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I haven't done it. Only because Google translate only takes you so far and it doesn't take nuance into account. And I appreciate when there's translations after the fic. It's hard to copy on mobile and put it into Translate to figure out what was said.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I just started fic writing this year. LOL. I used to say I missed a crucial part of writing culture as a teen. But it was a Marvel Loki fic.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I can't choose between my babies! But it would probably be my Loki series. One of the chapters I finished, I was like??? Okay, you fuckin' ate that. I felt so proud of myself as a writer, that self-satisfaction is what I'm writing for.

No pressure tags: @soft-persephone @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @mybonafidefeelings @notapradagurl7 @sweet-potatah-pie @saturn-rings-writes @c-nstantine

#Megaminds tag game #tag game #Tumblr tag game #join in #so fun

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arpmemething2 · 2 years

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MCU Sentence Starters

Send one for my muse’s response!

“I don’t fly man, that’s your thing.”

"This is our home now, I want us to fit in."

"A father's first responsibility to their kids is to provide a beautiful lie for them to live in."

“She was literally one split end from cutting her own bangs.”

"He's a friend from work!"

"No prison can keep me, you know that"

“I’m Mary Poppins y’all!”

"If you want to do something right, you make a list."

"Why? Does he have bad breath?"

"You rely too much on technology."

“We’re in the endgame now.”

"You never know. You hope for the best and make do with what you get."

“You know, I keep telling everybody they should move on and grow. Some do. But not us.”

“I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.”

"Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death!""

“Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.”

"Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't."

“I don't know if you've been in a fight before but there's usually not this much talking.”

“The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”

"The wheel constantly turns. We must adapt to its position, or be crushed beneath it."

"Trying to get you to stop has been one of the few failures of my entire life.”

“He may have been your father, but he wasn’t your daddy.”

“I am Inevitable.”

“Let me go. It’s okay.”

"At some point, we all have to choose, between what the world wants you to be, and who you are."

“I beat some guys up. Saved the dog. Some light B and E”

"That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did."

"You're ancestors called it magic, and you call it science."

“Well let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.”

"We all know the truth: But in times of crisis, the wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers."

“You're the one who just kidnapped me. What's wrong with you people?“

"We are an unusual couple, you know?"

"People think that torture is pain. It's not pain, it's time."

“Everyone hates losing.”

"I love you 3000."

“If toast is cut diagonally, I can’t eat it.”

“I should not be left in charge of stuff like this. I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid, period.”

"Dumb men like little girls. Me? I ponder a woman."

“This is the fight of our lives, and we’re going to win. Whatever it takes.”

"The past is the past. And the only direction in life that matters is forward. Never backwards."

“Can’t have a revolution without somebody to overthrow, so you’re welcome, and uh, it’s a tie.”

"I like following the rules and doing what's expected of me. It makes me feel nice."

"If we can't accept limitations, then we're no better than the bad guys."

"Hands up. You're coming with us."

"I’m going to have to ask you to exit the donut.”

"It's a working theory."

"No man can win every battle, but no man should fall without a struggle."

“This drink, I like it. Another!”

“You’re in a relationship with me. Everything will never be okay.”

"Part of the journey is the end."

“I was already slipping when you happened to punch me in the face. The two events are not related.”

"I've come to bargain."

"The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over."

"But a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. It's a privilege to be among them."

"I love you in every universe."

"I can do this all day."

“Ah, she left me. And my mom died too. And my dad got deported. But I got the van!”

“You want a juice box and some string cheese?”

"On your left."

“Sacrifice is part of the job.”

"Darling, you have no idea."

“Pain is always a surprise. I try to avoid landmines. Avoid caring. I can even see it coming. But until it hits, you have no idea what pain is.”

"I had him on the ropes."

"The scarf looked better."

“I'm sorry, did I step on your moment?”

"In a real magic act, everything is fake."

“They say everyone’s born a hero. But if you let it, life will push you over the line until you’re the villain. Problem is, you don’t always know that you’ve crossed that line.”

"The point of these things is to remind us that... There is no going back, there's only moving forward. You feel different because you are different."

“One thing I've proven is that you can count on me to pleasure myself.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping.”

"You wanna get to them? You gotta go through me."

“Funny how annoying a little prick can be, isn't it?”

“I’m gonna have to rain check that dance.”

"I could do with a hobby."

"I need a horse."

“Not to be rude, but it's been one of those days, so produce some credentials or I'm gonna put you in handcuffs. “

“Vengeance has consumed you. It’s consuming them. I’m done letting it consume me.”

“I’m a piece of shit, and shit stinks.”

“You haven’t changed a bit. And I’m aware that statement makes no sense.”

"If we can't protect the earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it!"

“No amount of money ever bought a second of time.”

"Higher, further, faster, baby."

"I know you were only doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do, it's all any of us should."

"The city is flying. We're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense."

“You’re gonna suffer for what you’ve done. And I I plan on being a very big part of that.”

“So…you got detention.”

"It's not about saving our world. It's about saving theirs."

"You really wanna go back in there? After everything she's put you through?"

“Time, Space, Reality. It’s more than a linear path. It’s a prism of endless possibility. Where one single choice can branch out into infinite realities, creating alternate worlds from the ones you know."

“I think we must learn from our mistakes and do better. You must not give up hope.”

“Where I come from, history has never looked kindly on those who lock men in cages.”

“Sorry, I tend to process traumatic events with dad jokes.”

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

“Can you believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut?”

“Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful until it makes you bleed.”

“It’s not enough to be against something. You have to be for something better.”

"I think purple might be your color; it really matches your eyes."

"I once stood in your place. And I, too, was disrespectful. Might I offer you some advice? Forget Everything that you think you know."

"Don't do anything I would do, and definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do. There's a little gray area in there, and that's where you operate."

"I have a terrible idea!"

"Filthy? She has no idea. If we had a black light, it would look like a Jackson Pollock painting."

“Boom! You looking for this?”

"How we deal with disappointments is what decides the person we are."

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"

“I thought you were smaller.”

"I'm not hugging you."

"Don't waste it. Don't waste your life."

“I told you, I don't want to join your super-secret boy band.”

“The price of freedom is high, it always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.”

"Hope. It's all about hope."

“Yeah, the past won’t leave us alone.”

“You’re the head of security and your password is ‘password?'”

“Drop your socks and grab your crocs, we're about to get wet on this ride.”

"Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man."

"Being good isn't always enough to keep you alive."

"That's it? You murdered him because you could?"

"Oh, man, are we being mind-controlled to see that right now?"

"You will never be a god."

“When you said you would take me to California for the first time, I thought you meant Coachella or Disneyland.”

“Never let the enemy choose the battlefield. Always work from a position of strength.”

"Of course... We won the war."

“I’m not sure you understand the concept of a getaway car.”

"Does anybody have any orange slices?"

“You get hurt, hurt ‘em back. You get killed, walk it off.”

"Last time we saw you, you were trying to kill everyone. What are you up to these days?"

"Because that's what heroes do."

"Have you ever seen that before in a gift shop?"

“I can feel the righteousness surging!”

"There's chaos in you."

"You guys are breaking down walls, you're healing. It's important."

“Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?”

“‘Boh’ is my new superpower. It’s like the anti-Aloha. I was born to say this word.”

“Does he need CPR? Because I totally know CPR.”

"Every time something gets better for one group, it gets worse for another."

“You’re repeating yourself! You’re repeating yourself!”

"Are you always this rude to people trying to help you?"

“It’s alright, you could never hurt me. I just feel you.”

“The only decision I’m qualified to make is bourbon or more bourbon.”

“Today we don’t fight for one life, we fight for all of them.”

“Well, if you don’t have any nice words, I mean, anything nice to say, just, you know, lie.”

“I have nothing to prove to you.”

"Have fun in prison."

“Such a poser.”

"I don't flirt. I just say what I want."

“That's not a question I need answered.”

“Oh my God, that was really violent.”

“I made macaroni if you want some.”

"Just bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage."

“I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”

“You think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it’s giving us something. It is giving us a chance.”

"There’s one thing in this world that makes me feel more alive. And that’s you."

“Let me tell you. That kid’s not even here yet and, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

“Sometimes the best weapon in your arsenal is just a good argument.”

“What is this thing? Look how it thinks it’s so cool. It’s not cool to get help. Walk by yourself you little gargoyle.”

“I do what he does, just slower.”

“I can’t control your fear, I can only control mine.”

“If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet.”

“Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be. The measure of a person, of a hero…is how well they succeed at being who they are.”

“I would rather be a good man than a great king.”

“Sacrifice? That would imply I had something to lose.”

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abeltownshipslittlebitch · 8 months

Note

Can I hear about some of your Tom/5 headcanons? It's my favourite rarepair 🥰

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Okay so like I have a lot of random things for Tom/5. Headcanons are under the cut.

TW: Mentions of torture from ZR canon events, mentions of scars, nightmares, brief mention of sex (nothing explicit), thoughts of murder (idk if that’s needed for this fandom but still), medication and mental health.

I think that’s it. Let me know if I missed anything.

My personal 5 is an amazing cook, so I always like to say that 5 makes Tom cookies or sweet bread or just anything when she (my 5 uses she/her pronouns but replace them with whichever you prefer) thinks Tom might need a little pick me up.

Seeing how it’s canon that 5 collects random stuff, Tom has definitely given 5 little trinkets he found while out on runs. Even before they got together.

While out for runs and choosing weapons, Five prefers an ax or a gun. Tom prefers knives.

Tom, 5 and Peter all meet up on nights they can’t sleep. Peter and Tom will probably smoke a stale cigarette. 5 probably drinks. (Those three are a bunch of besties and I will stand by it.)

I always hc Tom as either demisexual or graysexual so IF he and 5 ever have sex it’s not until a long time into their relationship. Also you can bet your ass it’s very sweet and soft.

Like Janine, Tom knows multiple languages. He has tried to teach 5 one of the many he knows (take your pick. I personally think he’s try to teach 5 French.) He doesn’t think they’re going that well/doesn’t think 5 is really interested in learning until he overhears her practicing vocabulary in the township library and the man just melts.

Because Tom is canonically on medication I say that if 5 also has to take medication (for my 5 it would be anti-depressants) he is the one that makes sure 5 remembers to take them.

The first gift 5 ever gave Tom (besides cookies) is a pair of very soft pajamas because Tom deserves some comfort and softness.

5 and Tom practice sparring and hand-to-hand combat. Tom wins 9/10 the man is a trained MI6 agent what did you expect.

During said practice, he’s the one who calls it quits first because 5 is horribly competitive and will literally keep demanding to go again even if she’s very tired or injured because she hates losing.

“If anything happens to them, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.” Except that’s both of them in their relationship.

Tom knows a shit ton of classic literature so of course he’s recited it to 5 by heart.

5 hates the cold so Tom always brings an extra jacket just in case it’s needed.

Whenever Tom’s nightmares gets too bad because he’s dreaming about being back in prison in Algeria with those guards and he wakes up, too scared to go back to sleep, 5 will stay up with him and make up the random stories to help calm him down.

When it comes time for Tom’s birthday, 5 will literally risk it all to get him the nicest things possibly even if it means running into a store full of zombies. Tom deserves nice things and damn it 5 is going to make sure he gets them.

Someone made 5 cry once. Tom had to remind himself that even being the brother of the township’s leader wouldn’t keep him from being charged with murder. Even then he still thought about it.

Tom and 5 are both incredibly touch starved, so the cuddle sessions are immaculate.

Because of all the scars Tom has using his time in Algeria, he wears long sleeves constantly. Cue 5 always have water bottles to make sure he doesn’t get dehydrated and have a heatstroke during the summer.

Speaking of Tom scars, if someone says so much as a word about them to Tom, 5 will try to stab a bitch. Tom has had to drag 5 away from a fight more than once. Same goes for if anyone treats Tom differently because of his mental healthy issues.

Because of the height difference, Tom usually gives forehead kisses and 5 usually gives chin kisses.

Even with the height difference, they take turns on who is the big spoon and little spoon.

Neither of them have the same taste in music but they will listen to each other’s favorite songs because it’s their favorite songs and what kind of partner would they be if they didn’t know the lyrics to their partner’s favorite songs?

Tom’s favorite color is navy blue or forest green. So you can bet your ass 5 will give him trinkets she found that are in that color.

5 has a stuffed animal or something of that nature (for my 5 it’s a Winnie the Pooh plushy because childhood nostalgia) and when 5 is away for a mission longer than a day you can bet Tom will guard that thing with his life.

Overall they are very sweet and in love and they would die for each other and kill for each other if they needed to.

#zombies run #zr #zr ask #five/tom #runner five #runners five #Tom de luca #Tom de luca my beloved #I love this ship so much

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skateisawesome · 22 days

Text

i hate every aspect of my family!

but mostly i despise my selfish, rude, annoying anf disrespectful sister. i try so hard to be good to her and nice and everyone in my whole family just favourites her. they constantly choose her over me and she treats me in the meanest way ever.

she's my least favourite person ever and i hate that. i wanted so bad to have a good sister relationship and she just cant even be somewhat polite to me ever.

i really try so hard to be kind and nice to her, i include her in things and i share my stuff and i always think of her when i'm buying things or when i'm going somewhere. but not once ever has she returned that favour. ever. not in her fourteen years of life has she ever shown any form of kindness to me.

but its also my whole family. my parents buy her more things, they pay more attention to her. my parents actually love her more.

i hate her.

and my brother isnt around enough to make a difference to our family dynamics so of course he doesn't hate her.

i hate her.

i wish she could just once experience some of the horrible treatment that i get on the daily from my family.

so the story time as to why im particularly angry today is because its her birthday. i really dont like birthdays because mine is right around christmas and nobody can justify spending money when christmas is so close. all my presents are either combined or theyre shit. every year my parents ask what i want and every year they get me stuff i dont want or things that are nothing like me. then my sisters birthday rolls around and they get her everything she couldve ever wanted and then more.

plus my parents really love to get her things that i want. posters for my favourite tv show, records of my favourite singers and stuff like that. sure, she likes some of the same stuff but it's usually something that i love so so much and she only dabbles in.

it makes me so angry and upset. but its her birthday, i have to be polite and be kind to her. i want to scream and cry and yell at my parents "do you even know who the fuck i am? why the fuck can't you care about me"

these people are actually the reason i dont wanna be around anymore.

i hate this shit.

fucking hell i can't wait to move out.

#i hate my sister #i hate my parents #i hate my family #vent #skate rants!

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cheolism · 9 months

Note

if you knew svt irl what do you think your relationship with the members would be - like who would be your mortal enemy, who is bestie, who is the guy that’s always just around, who is bullying you LOL whatever it is lmk I’m curious!

This is such an interesting question and tbh I thought abt it for waaaay too long

seungcheol: i wouldn't know how to approach him out of a group setting. i'd get the fattest crush on him and would try my best to hide it, but he'd do something that gets my heart fluttering and it would be so obvious bc my face turns so red and i just like. freeze up? and from then on he'd 100 percent become my mortal enemy and take advantage of my crush and make me flustered 24/7

jeonghan: my mortal enemy and best friend. We are essentially the same person I fear. I am extremely nurturing and mature, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try and trick you. I act like a second mother, but I will try and convince you of something ridiculous. (example: I am very nurturing to my brother but I also convinced him that if he touched train tracks he would be electrocuted). Jeonghan, Josh and I would be absolute terrors. At the same time, much like how jeonghan and josh can be each others enemies and set the other up, I would fall into the same category. But I can definitely see jeonghan trying to get me to do something I don’t want to do and making me irritated lol

josh: same with jeonghan, my mortal enemy and best friend. but he'd no doubt try and trick me into doing something weird. however. sometimes. i can be just as unhinged? it's rare but. it happens. he's also extremely caring to the people around him and i think he'd make me have a crush on him just by being kind n polite :( but i'm also extremely naive when it comes to most things so he'd 100 percent take advantage

jun: we would bond over our love of cats and being silly. i'd love to introduce him to all my silly little games i play and stuff!! we'd absolutely spam each other with kitty photos.

hoshi: he would make it his mission to make me flustered. i know it. he'd bully me so much. he'd like "DON'T LOOK" and when i look because i'm hella curious he'll have his shirt off and gasp and be like, fake-scandalized, making me flustered.

wonu: now. he's an extreme introvert. but i can make him be my friend. i'm good with getting ppl to come out of their shells (my bff all through elementary and middle school was an extreme introvert who hated talking to pretty much everyone). it'd take a minute, but i'd get him to at least be comfy with me. he'd definitely get me giggling with his little one-liners, but idk if we'd be bffs :( but maybe i'd try to rope him into friendship and make him play minecraft w me

jihoon: i would compliment this man so much that it would be taken to be bullying. i'd praise him constantly. he would get that fondness for me that he does for hoshi, where he's exasperated and fond at the same time. i'd try and rope him into silliness too, try and make him gang up against hoshi with me

dokyeom: the loml. my target. he and chan would be the target of my teasings. i would try and convince him of the stupidest stuff. but i'd also try and protect him and spout knowledge at him. however he'd also be the first person i go to whenever i'm in a huff or want to rant and he'd make me feel better just by smiling and being his sweet self

mingyu: we'd be bullies to each other. mutual bullies. he'd get me flustered on purpose when he chooses to be charming and i'd retaliate by teasing him mercilessly.

minghao: just some guy, but we'd bond over talking about philosophy and morals and stuff!!

seungkwan: i'd go out of my way to tease him. he would be so exasperated by my antics of teasing the others and making things up. we'd have verbal spats with one another where we 100 percent use our teasing and spats as flirting. i'd tease him and then compliment him to get maximum flustered seungkwan.

vernon: some guy who i send cat tiktoks too </3 but also he'd crack me up whenever he makes random comments? i think eventually we'd get close tho because i'm seungkwan-jeonghan adjacent

chan: he'd be one of my other teasing victims. he makes it so easy? and i'd be so endeared by his cuteness. however i'd also inevitably realize he is extremely talented and amazing and get a big ass crush on him and would have to resort to dialing up my teasing to try and get even with him even tho he has no clue why

#katie: talks #ask #anon #this was so interesting to think abt?#but yeah i'm more like seungkwan and jeonghan #i'm extremely passionate and curious and nurturing #but also i love to tease people and be affectionate and love to learn

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