#i feel like such a burden to everyone in my life

[insolentgod]

reminder extremely tough and maybe a little harsh.

a lot of folks gotta work themselves to death just to have a halfway comfortable life, some don't even have the basics. many will have to do crazy stuff for money and others dream of giving their loved ones a good life but can't. some will only be able to see luxurious lifestyles on phone screens or in other people's TikTok accounts. and others don't even have the money to pay for internet to see that.

lots of people will spend years hating themselves, hating their appearance, personality, social life, social status, skills, everything about themselves. many live with insecurities, feeling like a supporting character in their own story, some have things that bother them but it's "impossible" to change them so they'll just have to live with it. others spend a fortune on surgeries or treatments to change something about themselves, and many die because of it.

many people will have to live trying to recover from traumas and bad things that hit them, without knowing how to simply erase them from their lives, and unfortunately, some prefer to end their own lives so they don't have to live with those burdens.

many people will have to face horrible diseases, some they simply can't get rid of and others that are incurable. suffering, waiting for a miracle to free them from this torture.

some folks may never achieve their personal goals and dreams, out of fear, lack of opportunity, lack of means, or because they think it's impossible for them. so consequently they will have to surrender to a mediocre life that they hate.

many people will have to spend years in shitty relationships without knowing how to get out, others will see the love of their life being happy with someone else, others will think that love only serves to deeply hurt them, and others will accept horrible things from their partners because they think they don't deserve anything better.

a lot of folks unfortunately live out there lonely, without love, without a good social circle, without friends, with an abusive family, with people who don't want the best for them, with people who only hurt them and make them think that's what they deserve.

you might think I'm a jerk for talking about such harsh examples and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone, but damn..

all these examples I mentioned are really sad and they leave us with a heavy heart thinking that a lot of people go through this. I think everyone deserves a dignified and happy life, you deserve a dignified and happy life. you don't deserve to be like those people in the examples I mentioned, and you're not. because you have a key in your hands. it's like life is a damn game and you have all the hacks and cheats to simply WIN and do whatever you want, while other people don't even dream of that or are too skeptical to try.

but you know what's funniest about this? it's that this shit ain't just any game, it's your life. it's literally your damn life and you're there playing with the law? saying "oh I can't" "oh persisting is too hard" "I think I'll never have my desires".

girl, I'll kill you if you keep thinking like that.

there are folks who just don't take the loa seriously, and that's why they never fulfill their desires!!!!!!!!!!!! and they won't have anyone to blame for their failure but themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the LOA community is very small, discovering about it was extremely lucky. so tell me a good reason why you know about it and simply can't manifest? exactly. there isn't one! you can and you should.

I'm not here to judge your difficulties in manifesting (even if I judge everything and everyone), because having difficulties and keep trying is one thing and simply giving up and saying "I can't manifest" is another.

it was a blessing from the universe, God, higher power, whatever you believe in. you discovering LOA was the damn greatest blessing of your life, don't you see that? don't you really see how blessed you are? maybe in the past you've been through hell, but now, my love, the sun is shining for you, you just have to want to shine. unfortunately a lot of people will never have that luck, there are people who would kill to be blessed like this. so please, I beg you... use this tool and have the damn happiest life you can, enjoy it and stop playing with the law.

tell me what do you really want? a true and light love? have a look that would never make you feel insecure again? being the pride of mommy and daddy and having their love? having that beautiful house and a happy family? finally healing from depression or other mental disorders and finally being able to live to the fullest? friends who really care about you? want to meet that idol you've been a fan of for a long time and that everyone thinks your passion for him is silly? want to live in that country far away from everyone? want to stop feeling that guilt or any other bad feeling that has been tormenting you for a long time? want to be truly happy for the first time in your life? want to be rich, a millionaire, billionaire, trillionaire? or just have enough money to lead a comfortable life and never have to work again? go ahead, tell me what you want. you can have it.

stop suffering, you don't deserve to suffer. enough torture. take what's yours and move on. you're strong enough for that. the game ain't over for you, you can't just give up like that. the game is yours, it obeys you, and it ends when you decide. take freaking control.

i suffered a lot in life, i hope one day i have the courage to tell you about my success here. and I simply don't know what I would do without finding out about LOA, just thinking about it fills my heart with gratitude. I feel like a winner. you deserve to feel this peace of having won too.

God bless you. take care of yourselves and put your head to work.

i ain't that selfish. if you need some backup, im here for you, babe. I wanna see you win. 🌟

#law of assumption #master manifestor #void state #loa blog #mentaldiet #neville goddard #success story #loa motivation #loa tumblr #loa success #affirm and persist #loablr #law of manifestation #edward art

[devoutekuna]

Taking care of his pregnant wife

Includes- Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, Gojo, Geto

Sukuna-

Everyone knows that the king isn't big of affection, it took years for him to even consider you the queen. That's why he always expressed his love for you in indirect gifts, like preparing your favourite meal, raiding a village just so you could get your favourite food or something like that. "Y/N!" Name being screamed as he grabbed your leg, watching your sleeping body hang in the air as he held you upside down. "Get up, don't be burden " you both knew that you'd never be a burden to him, it was only nearly words to him, meaning nothing but to keep his image. "I'm up 'my king'" rolling your eyes at the word king rolling off your tongue, he would've dropped you on the bed right now, but he remembers that your carrying the next heir, wanting to make sure you didn't die before him, he placed you on the floor, pulling your dress down so you didn't flash him.

Sat at the dining table, legs crossed as he stuffed his face with food, he rarely had a big breakfast unless it was a special occasion, always opting for a big dinner instead. "Morning" your cheery self rubbing your stomach, it was a habit now, since you were on the verge of giving birth any second now. Nodding as he carried on eating, you couldn't blame him, Uraume made some good food, that's why they were alive for so long. Sat beside him as you reached for the nearest plate, picking your favourite food up, resting your head onto his shoulder, normally hed kill anyone right there for getting too close to him but since it was you, you had a pass.

Nanami-

Nanami loves you and his daughter, always opting for you to rest rather than take care of your 3 year old. Finding you asleep on the at the kitchen table after coming home from work, head resting on the table from your exhaustion, hearing the TV blaring into his ears as he peeked round the corner, seeing his 3 year old daughter sat at the front of the TV, head resting on her shoulder, wrapped in a bunch of blankets and her own toys, noticing how smart and considerate she was for putting a blanket and pillow on you. Sighing as he hid back a smile, dropping his briefcase which carried his cursed weapon, walking over to check your temperature since it was pretty cold. Strolling over to his daughter as he picked her limp body up. Straddling her in his arms as he dragged her upstairs, fortunately she had brushed her teeth already and gotten into her pyjamas, so it was an easy task of just dropping her off into bed.

Walking back down after dropping his daughter off, picking you up, making sure not bump your stomach on the table, he wanted to make sure you were close but comfortable, especially since you recently complained about back pain cause of the baby. Resting your body onto the pull out sofa, wrapping your body in a bunch of blankets to keep your temperature normal. Kissing your forehead before heading off to the kitchen, sleeves already rolled up as he put on the yellow gloves and dipped his hand into the dirty water, searching for some small utensils he could wash first.

Geto-

Geto adores you pregnant, trying to sympathise with the way you feel despite his unethical ways of life. "Let me do that" grabbing the pot from your hands as you tried to drain the water out of the pot. Ushering you to sit down instead of overworking yourself. "I'm not that delicate, Suguru" trying to defend your actions as you took a seat, not rejecting the offer as it was nice for someone else to take over once in a while.

"I know but still" trying to defend his actions as he served you a bowl of noodles, giving your cheek a quick peck before sitting down beside you. "But I appreciate your efforts" smiling at him as you played with your noodles, making sure they weren't too hot.

Gojo-

"Y/N!" Shaking your limp body awake, hands full of cleaning supplies. "What shall I use?" Glancing towards the bathroom, normally you two rotated on cleaning but since you were pregnant he started to take over your shifts, noticing how sleepy and disoriented you were due to being woken up after a short nap. "Morning love, now what do I use?" Fighting the urge to drop whatever he was doing and cuddle in bed right now.

"What are you cleaning?" Rubbing your hand through your eyelashes to get the sleep out. "The bathrooms, but the wall tiles." Confirming with himself. He didn't know anything about cleaning till he met you, having to teach him from scratch since he was raised as a spoiled kid who had nannies. "I've got myself a toothbrush thing and wall spray?" Asking, he was in a rush since he wanted to get back to you, laying around in bed was his biggest want right now. Nodding in response. "Yeah just use that, wake me up when breakfast is done" knowing that he'd make your favourite breakfast since you were carrying his kid.

Toji-

Waking up on his wife was the best feeling, not needing a pillow due to him sleeping on your breasts, listening to your heartbeat as you slept soundly. Hand rubbing along your stomach, trying to feel some sort of movement from his little girl. "Morning love" caressing his hair as you felt him on you, feeling his small stubble as he lifted his head, brown eyes looking into yours. "Morning" hand resting against your underwear's waistband, playing with it as he kept on stringing it onto your skin. Sighing as he felt kicking from his little girl, sliding off you as you readjusted your body into a more comfortable position. "Ya' sleep good?" Looking up at your face, he was so mesmerized by you, hand still rubbing your stomach.

#sukuna fluff #nanami fluff #toji fluff #geto fluff #gojo fluff #sukuna x reader #nanami x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #toji x reader #sukuna ryomen #geto suguru #toji fushiguro #nanami kento #gojo satoru #jjk drabbles #jjk x reader #jjk #𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝙺𝚞𝚗𝚊

[alrightieaphroditie]

wipe my tears away | j.m.

*:·ﾟ✧ series masterlist | previous part!

pairing *:·ﾟ afab!reader x joel miller wc *:·ﾟ6.6k  warnings *:·ﾟ18+! minors please do not interact!! talk of period pain, hormonal emotions, crying, kissing, some manhandling (if you squint), sad attempt at dirty talk, period play (lightly), fingering, maybe some degradation (not really sure), clit stimulation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (f receiving), squirting/messy cum, p in v penetration (not protected, do better!), one mention of blood… please let me know if i’m missing any major ones!  an *:·ﾟthis is for the girlies who get over emotional during their periods (they are me, i am them). this is a bit longer than intended, but once i got in the zone i literally couldn’t stop, so i hope y’all will enjoy it! kind of unedited, so if anything major jumps out feel free to comment lol. i also wrote this with correct capitalization, where all my previous fics were lowercase bc i couldn’t be bothered to turn on auto caps, so let me know if y’all prefer this format!  check the series masterlist for the series tags!

synopsis *:·ﾟ joel comes home to find you laying in bed, crying because of period pain. he may not be a full gentleman, but he wouldn’t let you suffer when he has a trick up his sleeve to help sooth the cramps. 

The pain that begins in your lower abdomen, the feeling that radiates throughout the rest of your lower body with enough force to make you wince, isn’t entirely new. It’s a monthly occurrence, actually. One that you feel like you should be used to by now, considering it’s plagued you for more than half your life. 

But the outbreak had already happened when you first got your period as a teen, and for a while, your body wasn’t receiving the nutrients it needed to sustain that kind of function. It was a double-edged sword, the way you were appreciative that you haven’t had it this bad your entire life, while ruminating on the losses that occurred due to the infection. 

Because it was a different story, now. 

Now, you were eating more than you could ever remember before. Jackson was a thriving community, after all. And you were beyond blessed that you were one of the lucky ones who got to reside within its gates. Now, your body was properly fed and being taken care of for the first time in years, and that double-edged sword reared in your mind again; thankful for the safe space you’ve landed upon, but God, at what cost? Your period pain took you out for days each month, making you feel like a burden even though you physically couldn’t help it. 

Your toe stubbed against a chair in your living room as another cramp worked its way through your body, causing you to cry out for more than one reason. Tears filled your waterline, and a heavy sigh escaped past your lips. The rough material of your jeans was digging into your waistline, your hair felt heavy against your neck and each strand that brushed against your cheek made you want to cut it off, and you just felt so useless. Some logical part of your brain realized this wasn’t really you feeling this way, it was just the hormonal shift, but that didn’t provide any sense of comfort as the tears continued to glide down your face. 

In some ways, you were lucky, as today had been your day off from helping around Jackson. Otherwise, that sense of being a burden to everyone would’ve increased tenfold. You couldn't stop feeling like a burden to yourself, though. You had made a perfectly organized to-do list that was hanging on your fridge of things you wanted to tackle today. 

Your sheets needed to be washed. The floors needed to be swept and mopped, especially after the rain, as Joel and Ellie continued to trek mud through your house by accident. Maria had given you some of the spices that grew in abundance, and you wanted to make one of those simmer pots on the stove that she kept mentioning. 

But doing those chores was the last thing on your mind right now, as another cramp racked its way through your body. Now, you just wanted to go lay in bed wearing nothing but Joel's shirt that you had thrown on earlier and cry while hugging a pillow.

 And so, that’s what you did. 

Your vision was watery as your fingers swiftly worked to unbutton your pants, your feet carrying you out of the living room and into your bedroom before you really even realized what you were doing. Once you hit your bedside, you tugged the jeans down your legs, letting them pool at your feet and leaving them on the ground as you crawl into bed, feeling about as pathetic as you probably looked. Curling up on your side, you reach out blindly and grab onto Joel's pillow, tucking it against your body and letting it provide you a false sense of comfort. After that, the tears start flowing freely. 

You didn’t know how long you laid there, didn’t know how long the sound of your sniffles had filled the room or how long you pressed the pillow against your abdomen. The cramps were still relentless, and it wasn’t like you even had any medicine you could take; expired Tylenol did absolutely nothing anymore. You wish you were more used to this feeling, this pain. But it seemed like the longer you were at Jackson, the worse the symptoms became each month. You had yet to figure out the remedies that were foolproof for this feeling. 

Continuous tears turned into lonely, stray droplets as you held onto the pillow. The room was silent except for the occasional sniff. You had zeroed in on an undone thread on the pillowcase, not paying attention to your surroundings, so you didn’t hear the sound of the front door being pushed open, or the sound of Joel's work boots stomping across the wooden floors. In the corners of your mind, you recognized the voice that was muttering to himself outside your room, but your eyes stayed focused on that singular thread. 

The thought of it being lonely, being apart from the other threads holding the fabric together, made your eyes water again. You could put yourself in its position, the ever present fear of being alone daunting you even now, and that was enough to send the tears over your waterline, racing down your cheeks and onto the pillow once again. The hiccup that came from your inhale was the noise that had the footfalls move towards your room, and through your blurry vision you saw the outline of Joel standing in the doorway. 

“What's wrong?” Through your sniffles, you could sense his urgency, his rough voice filled with nothing but concern, and maybe a little worry. His gaze swept over your body, checking for any possible injury. This was the first time he’d seen you break down to this level, and the sight of you curled into a fetal position, tears streaming down your face with his pillow in your grasp… he prayed to God that another person wasn’t involved with making you feel this way.

It would be a shame to lose his good reputation amongst Jackson because he had to beat some fucker up. 

Your gaze swung up to his face, and you made yourself blink harshly to expel the lingering tears. His face came into focus, the worry lines on his forehead becoming more clear to compliment the frown on his full lips. He had a spot of dirt streaking across his forehead, and his clothes were dirty from spending the day working outside. For whatever reason, the fact that Joel had been out working in the heat for most of the day while you couldn’t even manage to get up and wash your bedsheets made your emotions spiral even more. What is wrong with me? you wondered, hugging the pillow tighter to your body. 

The sound of his work bag hitting the floor echoed through the room, soon followed by the shuffle of his boots being kicked off his feet. His hands were gently pulling the pillow away before you could even register that he was in front of you now, but you felt the bed dip under his weight as he perched himself at the edge. His broad hand rested on your elbow before sliding up your arm, gently caressing your skin until he reached the side of your face. The calluses on his thumb scratched against your skin as he swiped the digit under your eye, wiping away the tears that had pooled. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” his voice was softer this time, comforting you in a way that had you feeling alright for the first time today. You leaned up on your elbows, and Joel helped guide you into a sitting position across from him, your hands holding on to one of his while his other cupped your face, thumb swiping against skin. The action of sitting up had your cramps rearing their ugly heads again, and your wince was subtle but extremely obvious to Joel, evident by the furrowing of his eyebrows. 

“My uterus is what’s wrong,” the scratchiness of your throat had you coughing slightly, and you worked to clear it before trying again, voice nearly as weak as you felt. “I'm on my period.” Joel's eyes widened in surprise at your admission, but he quickly schooled his features.

This wasn’t his first rodeo; he’d been with you for awhile now, but noticed that each month your symptoms were different. Sometimes, your sudden anger at everything gave away the fact that it was that time of the month. Other times, it was your sweet tooth and your cravings that gave it away. Rarely was it your tears, though, and his heart lurched at this new response. 

When your hands went to wrap around your stomach, applying pressure lightly to help ease the throbbing, his free hand came up to the other side of your face. “‘m sorry, darlin. Know that ain’t the best feeling in the world,” his thumbs were doing a stand up job at wiping away the tears on your cheeks, and soon the only sign that you had been crying was the red glaze surrounding your pupils. 

And the occasional sniffle. 

You leaned into his touch, eyes closing at the surprising amount of comfort that you felt from a pair of hands. You always felt at peace with Joel, though, so you weren’t surprised that his hands had this effect on you. You focused on the rough pads of his skin against the smooth texture of your own, taking in big breaths of air through your nose as your crying spell passed through you. Now you were thinking a little more clearly and felt a little embarrassed by the fact that Joel had walked in on you crying over a thread on a pillow case. Not that he’d ever know that’s what you were crying about. 

“It's okay. I'm sorry if i scared you or anything,” you started, opening your eyes to meet Joel's dark gaze. You offered him a small smile. “I really just need to learn how to deal with these cramps without them taking over my day. They seem to be getting worse and worse each month.” Your hands trailed up to grip his forearms, squeezing them affectionately as a wave of exhaustion flitted through your body. 

Joel's eyes squinted slightly. “Cramps, huh?” he mused, the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly. In the far corner of his mind, he recalled a younger Tommy swearing by a foolproof activity that helped one of his girlfriends with her cramps when medicine didn’t cut it. He wasn’t sure he believed Tommy then, or even now, for that matter. But he knew how much you struggled with the pain, and he’d feel like a real jerk if he didn’t at least give this a go. 

“Think I know somethin’ that could help with that.” He pulled your head forward, pressing a chaste kiss on top of your forehead before dropping his hands and pushing off of the bed. You were slightly dazed, partly at the display of affection but also at the quickness in which Joel was walking to the bathroom. When he came back into the room with an old towel, you couldn’t help but look at him suspiciously. 

“Joel…”

“Do you trust me?” He asked, tossing the towel on the bed and leaning down to look at you, eye to eye. His demeanor was calm, but his eyes shined with a hint of mischievousness, and the smirk on his mouth was nothing but trouble. It made him look younger, almost. Like the gray in his beard and around the temples of his hair was there prematurely. You wondered if he was like that more before the outbreak, and you reveled in this glimpse of his past self that he was allowing you to see. 

“Of course I do.” Your answer was absolute, eyes showing no signs of distrust or wariness as you maintained contact with Joel’s. He reveled in the sureness of your answer, in the fact that it didn’t even take you more than a second to respond to his question. The smirk became a full blown grin, and you couldn’t help but mirror it on your own face as you wondered what the heck this man was thinking. 

“Good. In that case, I'm gonna go clean myself up,” his lips pressed against yours in a swift kiss before he backed away, fingers stretching to the hem of his t-shirt. “You’re gonna strip out of those panties, spread that towel out underneath you, and wait for me to come back. Okay?” One of his eyebrows notched up, awaiting your response. 

“Sir, yes, sir,” you teased, sending him off with a mocking salute. It earned you an eye roll, something he had been picking up more and more from Ellie's influence, no doubt. The sound of your giggle followed him into the bathroom, where he quickly worked to discard his dirty clothes and rinse off. The thought of you laying in bed with just his t-shirt on had him adjusting himself underneath the water stream. 

Meanwhile, you were working at a slower pace. 

You gingerly took the threadbare towel between your hands, kneeling up on your knees to place it where you thought would work best. You were starting to get an idea of what Joel was planning, and while you’ve never done anything like this before, you weren’t absolutely hating it. After you had smoothed the fabric out, you climbed back against the pillows, hooking your thumbs under the waistband of your panties and sliding them down. The pad on the inside showed slight signs of blood, so at least you weren’t bleeding too heavily right now. Usually that came after a day or two of the cramps. 

You were combing your fingers through your hair when Joel walked back into the room, pausing at the threshold while you both took each other in. His hair was damp, droplets of water occasionally dripping on his forehead, brushed back at the edges and the tops to keep it out of his face. He had been growing it out a little longer, though you knew when summer fully came around, it’d be time to clip it. 

He’d changed out of a plain, gray t-shirt into another plain, gray t-shirt - clearly a staple in his wardrobe - and you had to admire the way he was filling it out. The sleeves hugged the middle of his biceps, straining against the pure muscle that had been building up. The shirt fit loose around his chest, but you could see the way it was snug around his tummy area, the small pouch of his stomach highlighted by the thin material. 

You weren’t the only one who had been eating better since arriving at Jackson; Joel was starting to bulk up and you were loving it. 

Having ended his workday earlier, and foreseeing spending the rest of the day in bed with you, he had pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants that clung to his thighs and offered very little to the imagination when it came to the thick imprint between his legs. The sight of him had your thighs clenching together automatically, heat racing through your body like a fever. 

And he knew it, too. You could tell by the smirk on his lips, the way his gaze strayed from your eyes to your legs. He loved having that affect on you, loved seeing how needy you became by just the thought of being with him. 

He walked to the other side of the bed, his eyes focused solely on you in his red shirt, the way your legs were crossed at the bottom, giving him just the smallest peak of bare skin underneath. You listen to him so well, he couldn’t help but admire. You gave him your trust so easily, and that was one of the few things that Joel considered to be precious in this world. He'd never make you regret that choice. 

Leaning up on your elbows, your body naturally turned towards him when he finally settled himself on his side next to you. One of his arms slipped behind your head, tucking you into his body as the other came up to guide your face to his. His lips were soft against your own, and all the tension you had felt from crying earlier completely disappeared. 

Your hands clung to his arm as he kissed you, a soft sigh escaping through your lips. Joel took the opening to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue against your bottom lip before dipping it into your mouth. Your mind was growing fuzzy, and you simply let Joel manipulate you how he wanted, eagerly offering yourself to him. 

His mouth stayed on yours, your noses brushing against each other with every tilt of the head, but his hand strayed from your cheek. It paved a path to the collar of the t-shirt, where he fisted the material and tugged it towards himself, halfway pulling you on top of him with the movement. Your hands flung out to his chest to stop yourself from completely crashing into him, and a groan sounded against your mouth as Joel felt the tips of your fingers dig into the skin. 

He soon abandoned the collar, letting his palm slide down the expanse of your torso and bunching the shirt up a little before settling it right over your lower abdomen, fingers splayed out wide against your bare skin. The heat radiating from his palm on your skin was like your own personal heating pad; the soreness that ebbed from your cramps seemed to dissipate the longer his hand rested against your skin, the action making your head spin as you focused on breathing through your nose as Joel’s tongue traced along yours. 

Joel’s mouth trailed from your lips down to your jaw, down to your neck. The stubble growing on his face scratched at your skin when he nuzzled himself in the crook of your neck, causing a combination of a laugh and a moan to flutter past your lips. You could feel him smile against your skin before nipping at it gently, using his lips and tongue to ebb the slight pain away. You could feel him sucking at your skin, and you knew in the morning you’d regret the red and purple marks that would litter your skin, but right now, the feeling was absolute heaven. 

“Spread those legs for me, baby.” The words were whispered against your skin, accompanied by a quick tap to your thighs. You didn’t hesitate to obey; your left leg fell to the side while you rested your right leg on top of Joel's. His hand slipped from your stomach to your upper thigh, gripping the fleshy inside as he helped adjust it higher on his body. 

The cool air from the fan had you shivering as it made contact with your bare skin, emphasizing the wet slick that had formed between your legs. Joel's mouth found itself back on yours, his kiss turning punishing, almost, as his hand slowly moved down your inner thigh; his teeth were biting and pulling at your lower lip, his fingers were digging into your skin as he kneaded and gripped your thigh. 

“Joel,” you mewled, stretching up slightly to angle your hips closer to his hand. You were settled in the crook of his elbow, and his arm came up to bare against your throat ever so slightly. He essentially had you in a headlock, and you were helpless to anything he administered. Goosebumps prickled along your skin, and you whined once more when his fingers brushed against the crease of your leg. 

“Shh, s’okay, baby. Let me take care of you,” his words were soothing, soft. A complete contrast to the way he was handling your body, and it was all you could do but nod in response, eyes wide and trusting as they held contact with him. His pupils were so dilated that you could barely see the rim of brown, even this close. 

Another sharp tap to your inner thigh had you gasping, and Joel's mouth formed into a smirk as his calloused fingers eased the spot. You’d like to blame the hormones fluttering around your body for the desperation you were feeling for Joel, but part of you knew that he simply just had this affect on you. You always grew so needy for his attention, for his touch. Being with him was the only time your brain truly shut off and allowed you to feel safe, relaxed. 

His fingertips were stroking the inside of your thigh like it was the strings on one of his guitars, a slow but firm sensation that had you humming; he was playing a different kind of instrument with you. You could feel yourself growing slicker, the bubble in your chest expanding as he teased you, touched you. 

“Joel, please…” you trailed off, turning your head to the side and bumping the edge of his jaw with your nose. His gaze had slipped to where his fingers were caressing your skin, basking in the suppleness of your skin that so vastly compared to the roughness of his. You felt like a dream. 

“Such pretty manners,.” he mocked, grinning to himself before meeting your eyes once more. “Since you asked nicely, though…” The kiss he pressed on your nose was soft, but your focus was on how his fingers were finally crossing over the crease in your thigh, finally trailing down to your core. 

The first swipe of his fingers through your folds had a small moan emit from your mouth, and a curse came from Joel’s as he felt how wet you were already. “Shit, baby,” he muttered to himself more than anything, watching his fingers as he lifted them up into the light to see the shine. Chest heaving, you watched as he brought his fingers up to his mouth, watched as he placed them on his tongue before closing his lips around the digits and sucking on them while he pulled them out. 

His fingers were now wet with his spit, evident by the thin strand of saliva still connecting his mouth to his fingers. The sight alone had your toes curling against the mattress, your mouth open slightly as you watched him bring his hand back down to your pussy. Your breath left you as his second swipe was firmer, the tips of his fingers passing along your clit for a brief moment before moving back down. 

His forearm flexed slightly against your neck, his free hand moving down to brush against the top of your chest. One of your hands moved to grip his arm, nails digging into skin ever so slightly as Joel’s fingers brushed your entrance, swirling around slightly to gather the wetness that had formed. A soft sigh left his mouth as he felt you, and the next moment, two of his fingers were swiftly pushing inside of you. 

“Joel!” You gasped out, back arching into his touch as he pumped his fingers into you once, twice, three times before pulling them out. Joel huffed out a laugh at your whine from the loss of contact, glancing down at you to see your reaction to him circling your clit with the pad of his thumb. He was rewarded with the softest of sighs, and the sight of your eyes rolling shut while your mouth parted open. 

He didn’t hesitate to capture your lips with his, his mouth against yours as firm as his thumb on your clit. The kiss was quick, and Joel’s nose brushed against yours as he pulled back ever so slightly. “Such a pretty girl, achin’ for me to fill you up. My fingers feel real nice against your pussy now, don't they, baby?” 

A short and snappy nod was your form of a response, as you were solely focused on the way Joel’s middle finger was circling your clit now. Your hips bucked up as waves of pleasure wracked your body, Joel’s expert fingers bringing you relief you so desperately needed. The action had Joel smirking above you, had his hips grinding slightly against your thigh in a sad attempt at getting some friction for his now hard cock. 

Joel pulled back from his admissions on your clit, sliding his middle finger through the center of you before slowly inserting it back inside you. The gasp that left your mouth was music to his ears, and he began moving it in and out, curling it up once it was fully inside your wet pussy. Head falling back against Joel’s arm, your legs widening even further as Joel picked up a steady rhythm with his one finger. 

“So good, Joel,” you rasped, voice breathless as Joel’s finger curled against the spongy part inside of you that had your body jerking in response. Licking your lips, you pulled the bottom lip into your mouth, teeth sinking in as the pleasure continued to build up in your body. Your right hand moved to rest on his wrist, while the other stayed gripping his left forearm. 

Basking in your praise, Joel withdrew his middle finger and, when he pumped it back inside, added his ring finger. The addition had you groaning, feeling his two fingers stretch you out slowly as he pushed them inside and pulled them out. You felt Joel’s lips press against your forehead as he worked to pick up the pace, and soon all that could be heard in the room was the wet sound of your pussy being fucked by his fingers. 

“God, I could listen to you all night,” he mumbled, curling his fingers in a “come here” motion inside you and marveling at how drenched you sounded. “So fuckin’ wet for me, sweetheart. Haven’t even taken my cock yet, either, you needy thing.” 

His words only sparked the fire inside your chest even more, and soon you were moaning his name over and over again in some kind of sick prayer as he filled you with his fingers. Your mouth dropped open as his thumb moved to glide against your clit, pleasure radiating throughout your body. 

Your fingers dug half-moon indentions in Joel’s tanned skin as the waves of pleasure finally crested. 

Your body went rigid in his hold as your orgasm peaked, his fingers never ceasing in motion as your hips began to shake against his hand. He muttered soft praises as you came, moving his arm from across your chest and intertwining your fingers with his. You gasped for air as you came down, thighs twitching ever so slightly as you soon became putty against Joel’s body. 

Only then did he pull his fingers out from inside of you. He kissed your forehead once more, cupping your drenched pussy with the palm of his hand. Your chest was heaving still from the orgasm, body feeling tired once more but for a completely different reason. Resting your head back on Joel’s arm, you glance up at him, expecting him to move his hand away and maybe help you clean up. 

Instead, Joel’s dark gaze was solely focused on your pussy again. Instead of moving his hand away, he slowly moved it up your center, stopping only when his middle finger brushed against your clit. He moved his hand to the side slightly, letting the tips of his other fingers brush against the sensitive nub, before sliding it the other way. His action was slow, methodical even. 

“Joel,” you ventured, squeezing his hand that rested in yours. His jaw twitched, but that was the only response you got. He leaned up on his elbow, your hand moving up along the mattress as he did so. Now, your interlaced hands rested above you, on the pillow, as Joel’s upper body hovered on top of yours. 

Ever so slowly, Joel resumed the movement of his hand, sliding to one side before moving it to the other. His fingers all brushed against your clit, and the overstimulation you felt had your thighs closing together. 

“Keep ‘em open, baby.” Joel admonished, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. His free hand pushed away your left leg before returning back to your clit, and you swore you could feel the wetness lingering on your skin from him doing so. The roughness of the towel underneath you prickled at your skin as your hips twitched from the continued pleasure. 

“Joel,” you ventured again, this time more of a plea than anything. Tears formed on your waterline when he picked up the pace, his hand firmly rubbing against your clit each time he moved it. That bubble of pleasure formed more quickly in your chest, the feeling fiery and almost suffocating as Joel’s movements were relentless. 

“Give me one more,” his voice was rough, distant. “Just one more.” His hand dipped to cup your pussy once more, gliding up through your folds and moving the wetness from there up to your clit. The added lubrication and friction as Joel increased his pace had you crying out, body arching forward at the onslaught of pleasure. 

Your orgasm approached much faster this time, and you could feel your slick dripping down your skin onto the towel. “Oh my God,” you whimpered, your hand painfully holding onto Joel’s while the other, which had moved to rest on his hip, gripped his t-shirt. “Oh, God.” 

This time, when you came, the bubble dropped from your chest and to your stomach and your body went limp as soon as your orgasm tore through you. Your mind was a haze of euphoria, and if you were more cognizant you would have been embarrassed at the feeling of your wetness squirting out from you, would have felt heated at the way Joel praised your body. Instead, you were blissfully gone, basking in the sensation that only Joel’s fingers knew how to bring you. 

Joel’s hand slipped from yours as he pulled his arm up from underneath you, and before you were even aware of the shift, he was up on his knees, moving in between your legs and tugging his flannel pants down. “Gotta fuck you, baby. Jesus Christ, you came so good for me.” His hands bracketed your head as he leaned up against your body, the head of his leaking cock pressed against your wet slit. 

You hummed at his praise, wrapping your weak arms around his neck as you shifted your thighs a little wider to accommodate for his hips. You weren’t entirely sure you could handle another orgasm, but you knew you were desperate to have him inside of you. His head ducked down to yours, and you enthusiastically pressed your lips against his, enveloping his hips with your legs in consent. 

With a nip at your bottom lip, he slowly pressed the tip of his cock in between your folds, gathering the wetness that had accumulated near your entrance before moving his hips even further. The head of his cock pushed into your pussy, stretching you out even more than his fingers did previously. Joel groaned into your mouth as he pumped his hips slightly, pulling out of you before sinking just the tip inside you again.  

“Fuck, sweetheart. My fingers didn’t stretch out your pussy enough, huh? S’fuckin’ tight as hell around my cock.” One of his hands came to brush aside your hair, cupping the side of your face gently while his hips snapped into yours. You cried out against his mouth, the feeling of being filled so suddenly causing you to wince slightly. You welcomed this pain, however, as it quickly gave way to pleasure the more Joel rocked his hips against yours. 

Joel rested his hips against yours for a moment, his head falling down to your chest as he reveled in the tightness surrounding his cock. His breaths came out in short pants, the hand laying next to your head turning into a fist against the mattress. Your hips move up slightly, seeking out the pleasure even after coming twice before, and it brings Joel in further, causing you both to curse. 

“So desperate for me to fuck you,” Joel’s words are accented by short, quick thrusts up inside of you. He pushed up off of you, your arms falling to the bed beside you while your legs fall open as they untangle from his waist. His hands grip the inside of your thighs, and he leans his weight forward a little, pinning your legs to the bed. 

“I am, Joel. P-please fuck me,” you beg, gripping the sheets between your fingers as your hips meet his thrusts. Joel starts off slowly, implanting you fully on his cock before slowly pulling back until just the tip presses against your pussy. His bruising grip on your thighs holds your legs open while he works himself in and out of you, eyes cast on how your slick coats his cock, the occasional red streak coloring his flesh. 

A stray curl of hair falls from his previously brushed back hair, and you itch to swipe it back into place, but his pace quickens and your hold on the bed keeps you from banging against the bed frame. The sound of his cock entering your wet pussy fills the room, the indecency of it causing your skin to flush with heat. Joel’s groans start to find time with your whimpers, and soon the noises of sex are emitting throughout the bedroom, throughout the house. 

Joel’s hands move away from your thighs, traveling up your stomach and pushing up his red t-shirt to see your boobs bouncing with each thrust. He admires the peaks of your nipples, the way goosebumps arise on your flesh as it’s exposed to the cool air, before bringing both hands to grip onto them. His thumbs and forefingers pinch at your nipples, the pain mixing in with the pleasure seamlessly. 

Your eyes fall shut on a moan, body arching into his touch as you clench around Joel, causing him to curse. The familiar sensation of heat fills your body, that third orgasm floating slightly out of reach. You move one of your hands down to your pussy, resting it on your mound. Your fingertips brush against Joel’s cock every time he withdraws, and you moan at how slick he feels before bringing your fingers to your clit. 

“That’s it, baby. Make yourself come on my cock,” Joel encourages, gaze focused on the way your fingers nimbly play with your throbbing clit. His hands squeeze your breasts roughly one last time before he leans up, gripping your ankles and bringing your legs to rest on top of his shoulders. Your thighs press against his cock as he fucks you, adding in another level of pleasure for him as he fights back his orgasm. 

“Just like that, Joel. Just like that…oh!” Your cries fill the room as he pounds into you, your fingers increasing the pace against your clit. Your movements are shaky, not precise in the slightest, but you’re still sensitive and wound up from your previous orgasms that it doesn’t take much to get your third one going. With a few clumsy swipes of your middle finger against your clit, and Joel’s cock ruthlessly hammering in and out of you, your final orgasm floods through your body. 

Joel curses as he feels your pussy clench around him, making his movements stagger with how tight you become. He gives a few more deep thrusts, his own movements becoming shaky and less precise, and he soon slips out of you, rubbing the length of his cock along your pussy lips as you gush with your orgasm. With a grunt, he follows soon, his own cum spurting out of his red cockhead and on to your lower stomach. 

Your legs fall meekly to the bed again, and Joel’s body sags forward a little before he props himself back up with his hands. The sound of you both panting is all that can be heard as you both come down from your orgasms; you, eyes closed and mouth open. Joel, eyes open and mouth closed, nostrils flaring slightly as he regulates himself. 

It takes a moment before you both get back to yourselves, but when you do, you become increasingly aware of the wet feeling underneath your lower body, which causes you to giggle. “Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t get around to cleaning my sheets today, huh?” 

A snort comes out of Joel, his head shaking slightly as he moves to brush back his hair. He takes in the sight of you, freshly fucked and thouroughly spent, and can’t help but grin. He might be older, but he relishes the fact that he can still please you like this. That you actually want him to do so. Makes him feel like a god among men. 

He sees the tears around your lash line from your last two orgasms, and he leans forward slightly to wipe them away with his thumb, triggering in his mind the conversation you both had before this all started. “Feelin’ alright?” His gaze moves around your body, checking to see if he hurt you in any way. He notes the red marks against the side of your neck, the cum on your lower stomach and the beginnings of many small bruises along the inside of your thigh from where he gripped them to keep them open. 

He’d be more worried about those if he didn’t know how much you loved having him mark you up. 

“Just peachy,” you grinned at him, propping yourself up on your elbows to take in the mess below you. Joel leaned in to meet you, his kiss soft and soothing as his lips slid against yours. After a moment, he pulls away again, awkwardly shuffling to the edge of the bed before standing up. Hiking up his pants, he moves to the bathroom to get a washcloth to start cleaning you up. 

After wiping away his cum and your wetness, he gently helps you off the bed, holding your arm as your legs fumble when your feet hit the ground. His pride grows then, and you smack his arm playfully when you catch sight of his grin. “Sorry,” he mutters, pressing a kiss against the side of your head before moving to gather up the dirty towel from the bed. He tosses it into the hamper before leading you to the bathroom. 

There, he draws you a hot bath, guiding you in the tub and before pulling his clothes off and joining you. It’s a cramped space, the bathtub not technically suitable for two, but you make it work. You lean your head against Joel’s shoulders, sinking into his body as his arms wrap around your middle. You know you should do something with your bedding soon, should make sure you have the guest room set up so the two of you can sleep somewhere remotely comfortable tonight, but for now, you bask in his presence. 

“Thank you for taking care of me, Joel.” You say softly, closing your eyes and letting the hot water ease away any lingering soreness your body has. His arms tighten around you as you trace mindless shapes against his thighs. He tilts his head to the side, kissing your forehead before resting his on top of yours. 

“Anytime, baby.” His breathing evens out with yours, stubble rubbing against your forehead as he speaks. “I’ll always be here to wipe your tears away.” 

taglist *:·ﾟ @hiroikegawa

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #dbf!joel #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel smut #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou #joel x reader #the last of us fic #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller smut #the last of us smut #smut #joel smut

[yandere-sins]

The Orcas' Tale - Krill's Story - Prologue

So, because that first chapter became so damn long, I cut down the bit that was most separated from the rest! Please enjoy Krill's thoughts before we change over to a new perspective again (;

Fandom: Original Content   Warnings: Violence (Mentioning of ripping a throat out/backstabbing, Depiction of mental (childhood) abuse), Monsters (Mermaids), Animalistic behavior, Mention of blood/claws/sharp teeth, Mention of death

"I can't believe this! It's outrageous—TWO sons gone! How could this happen, Krill?! You were supposed to guide them—to lead them! I told you to take care of them, and you couldn't even look after your brother and cousin! How will you ever care for your own pack?!"

My mother's rage echoed through the communal space; her questions screeched in the voice of a siren, causing them to hurt in my ears. Her words were spoken in the same way as a shark's teeth would rip through my skin—meant to harm and dominate. They left everyone in the cave silent except for my aunt, who kept weeping beside the matriarch. Had it been mating season, Nerrocan's and Lyr's disappearance could have been easily brushed off, but with how little interest both of them ever had in reproducing and it having been weeks without a sign from them, their disappearance really began to weigh on everyone. 

The other orcas witnessing my scolding were growing restless at my silence; the inability to respond quickly to the accusations thrown at me only confirmed their constant suspicions—I was incapable of the role they expected from me. The prospect of the next leader of the pack being incapable of doing the one thing I was forced to do my whole life made them lose faith not only in me but also the current matriarch who birthed me. They were whispering and discussing with each other on the quiet as if I had committed a grave sin that would make me unfit to lead. Even though they were fully aware that my reign would come to a quick end once I took a female as my partner to step up to the role of matriarch. All this talking, all the anger and frustration taken out on me, was just a show of power in the end. It didn't matter in the long run, neither to the pack's future nor to me. 

I should have been angry at Lyr and Nerrocan for putting me in this situation. For leaving me alone with all the burdens, they escaped so easily, never coming back to take me with them. I thought we were closer than that. That we'd stick together forever. But the chance of getting away must have been too freeing to resist, no matter what they had to leave behind to achieve it. If the same chance had arisen before me… I might have done the same. Leave behind this life of never being enough in the strict eyes of our mothers and the whole pack and start over far away. Do something worthwhile that wouldn't end with me cowering before the matriarch yet again, like the coward I was. A pack wasn't a place where you could achieve anything extraordinary unless you bowed your head and submitted to the nagging and pushing of expectations. And I, compared to the other two, had always been too afraid to take the leap, holding the two of them back with me so I wouldn't be alone. Until they slipped my grasp—a stupid, stupid mistake.

Just like my mother, those feelings nagged at me constantly. Permanently. Most likely until the end of my life. And there was no one to share them with anymore, as those exhaustingly painful emotions threatened to drown me.

"You'll find them and bring them back here immediately!" the matriarch finally ordered, too impatient to wait for my delayed response. With how I was taught my whole life, I understood her actions. She had to settle the pack, give them hope, and show them she had everything under control. She had to make this look like a stupid mistake of a child—even her own son—so she'd not lose the pack's trust in her capabilities. Especially with her worst opponent, her own sister, ready to take over the position at any moment. Even when family was everything to the pack, no one was safe from having their throat ripped out the moment they lowered their guard. There was no loyalty in a pack of fools.

"Oh, yes!" my aunt wept, her act so good despite having enough daughters to not need Nerrocan here to be called a worthy successor to my mother's reign. "Please, Krill! You have to bring my baby back home! Please!"

It must have been so much easier to leave, knowing you never left anything behind, really. Nerrocan didn't have to worry much about what others thought about him. He could hide behind his sisters and be a good boy just for fun. Perhaps things would have been different if I had sisters who were older or my age, too. I could have escaped the responsibilities and lived a free and happy life without repercussions for every little mistake I made in the matriarch's eyes.

"I will, Mother."

Raising my head and showing the pack a steadfast expression, I placed my hand over my heart, the gesture as shallow as it was a lie. I had no idea where the two rascals had gone, much less how I'd manage to track them down. There was no telling that I could find them, but maybe by the time I'd be too exhausted from the search, I'd have developed the courage to stay far, far away from the pack. 

Judging by the glare in the matriarch's eyes, there would be no home to return to unless I brought back the missing sons anyway. 

In her angry gaze, I noticed some doubt. For a moment, I imagined her worried that something could happen to me on this quest she sent me on. But when our eyes met, she must have known that my promise and gestures were all just for show. It hardened her feelings for me, which was for the better. We both knew I would never reach her expectations, no matter how long and hard I tried. Losing two young, efficient hunters for the pack was just the tip of the iceberg. It was better for her not to get disappointed when I'd inevitably fail the task she had given me, again. 

So when I slipped back into the water, my mother sent me off with a scoff, the whispers around me so loud, I couldn't hear my own thoughts. The cold wet was a welcome change of sounds, clearing my head for the first time since I entered that communal space. I'd become numb to the feeling of being unloved and unappreciated, so much so that it didn't face me what everyone thought of me. That's what I told myself. All I had to do was function, which was easier with a clear head. I thought back to the days before Nerrocan's disappearance, the funny human we rescued, and the way Nerrocan used to look at them. 

I wasn't stupid, even if I preferred to keep pushing away the nagging feelings that might have made me soft and even more worthless in the eyes of my mother. The two were too young to know the true horror of "love". But I was the oldest. I remembered looking at this special someone the same way that Nerrocan did with the human. I collected the shiniest stones in that small pool they held us in at that facility that Nerrocan's human wanted to go to so desperately, just so I could present these trophies to my mate. Just like Lyr now, who ransacked our treasure cave in just one night. 

Judging by how much Lyr could steal in that one night, he probably wasn't as far away as we thought. But the ocean was vast, he was a quick swimmer, and I couldn't think of a place he frequented that I should look for him. Nerrocan, on the other hand, I'd either never find him because he had been eaten by the fish all the time he'd been away or because he was back at that forsaken facility with the human. Both options made it impossible for me to ever retrieve one of them if not for sheer luck. I could have turned every stone upside down to find Lyr, who was objectively the better choice, but he was as good a hunter as I was, and unfortunately, he knew it. If he wanted to stay hidden, I'd not find him. And if he refused to come back, he might actually kill me to keep it that way.

As I turned towards the open ocean, I still lamented the fact that I'd not get to come home anymore. It was foolish to even try, but doing as I was told was all I'd ever known. I've been told how to hunt, behave, talk, act, and play all my life. My mother told me to take what I wanted, fight for what I wanted, and obey. So if she wanted to send me on a death mission, I had no choice. Compared to the other two, I didn't have a reason to betray the pack that had raised us, and no mate that I could call home, and so, I made my choice. 

And if I possibly could save even just one of those fools, then I'd wager my chances with the one that wouldn't kill me on sight. 

#Mermay #Mermay 2024 #Mermay 2023 #mermaids #mermen #yandere mermaid #yandere merman #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

[idontplaytrack]

Birds Of A Feather

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: angst, coarse language, mentions/descriptions of suicide & sickness, chronic pain

In which reader has had enough of the physical pain and wants to put her suffering to an end.

“What’s wrong, Janis?” Damian asked.

“Have you talked to y/n?”

“No, why?”

“I’m worried about her. She hasn’t been answering my texts…or calls. And she hasn’t been in school for what, two days now?”

“Did you go—”

“First thing I did.” Janis sighs, “Her Mom says she’s in the hospital but doesn’t want to see anyone. But apparently that means cutting everyone off.”

“Girl, you know she’s having a hard time right now.”

“When is she not?” Janis snaps.

“Janis.” Damian gasped, “That’s not like you.”

Janis sighs, shutting her locker. “She’s my best friend, I love her. But every time, every time she has a bad day, or has a bad flare up, god forbid she gets a migraine episode— she doesn’t tell me. She doesn’t tell you, she just suffers in silence. I have to pry and then she gets upset, then I get upset for upsetting her. Why is it so bad that she talks to me about stuff like that? Why does she have to go through all of that alone?”

You and Janis have been neighbours your whole entire lives. Quickly, you two became friends, then best friends. Going to the same school, you two only grew closer and became a trio with Damian. But there was a stark difference between your personality and theirs— while they were outspoken, you were an introvert. Janis loved you to bits but hate that you were so hard to get through to. Stubborn, afraid to be a bother, anxious.

Janis was the only one who knew how to handle you. Other people didn’t exactly know you like she did. Janis knew you were dealing with all sorts of shit— you have been for a big part of your life. You’ve been sick, due to more conditions than one. Well, other people couldn’t tell that you were. They were what your doctors called ‘invisible conditions’ and thanks to your freakishly high pain tolerance that you’ve built up over the years, you could function even when in pain. Janis could never figure when you needed help because you never asked for it. What’s more, this wasn’t the only time you were in the hospital for similar reasons and didn’t tell anyone.

You’d admit, you would love to just be held by Janis while you cried and slept through the pain and be comforted by her— your best friend. You knew she’d readily agree, but you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed if you did ask so never did, and just went through each and every ‘episode’ alone. You and Janis did everything together, everything. Experience a lot of firsts together. Everything, but this. Your chronic illness and pain was something you shared with her but she’s never witnessed your lowest of lows. Ever.

Eventually, Janis persuaded your Mother to give her the hospital’s address and your room number. You thought you were hallucinating when you saw Janis walking down the hall to your room. You locked eyes with her right before she knocks on the door and stepped inside the hospital room.

“Why the fuck are you here, Janis?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re my best friend and I’m worried about you?” Janis bites back a scoff, but her words cut through your heart, “I don’t get it. Why is it so hard to admit to me that you’re in pain. I may not be able to take it away, but I want to help you. Be there for you. We’ve been friends our whole lives, y/n.”

“All my life…I was always the problem kid. Something’s always wrong with me, something about me always worries someone, keeps someone up at night. ‘oh, she needs to take this medication every six hours’, ‘y/n has to go for an MRI scan every four months’, ‘oh, no, poor y/n needs to go get poked and prodded again because the tumor grew back’. I’m sick of it. I don’t know why you even bother with me, Janis. Why? Why can’t you just leave me like everyone else? I don’t want to be someone else’s burden. Anymore than I already have been. Especially not yours.”

“So that’s it, you just want me to get up and leave?” Janis sighs, her words harsh but her eyes…they were filled with heartache, brimming with tears. Janis couldn’t bear to leave you, not when you were so distraught. Not when you clearly need someone there to hold you.

“Don’t you want to get up and leave?” You answered, “I know I want to. I want to leave and never come back. Leave this earth so I don’t have to be in pain anymore. I don’t want this anymore.”

“That’s…” Janis exhales, “That’s so selfish.”

“Is it so wrong for me to be just a little selfish? I haven’t felt like myself in years, Janis. So I’m sorry, I’m feeling this way but I’ve had enough of pretending to be okay when I’m clearly not.”

For the first time in your life, Janis bursts into tears. She was sobbing, right in front of you. “Baby,” She holds your hands in her own, “Please don’t leave me.”

You swallowed the painful lump in your throat, trying to free your hands from hers, but you fail. “I’m tired of fighting, Jan.”

“Let me do it. Let me do that for you, I’ll stay strong for you when you can’t.” Janis says as tears streamed down her face, “I can’t live without you, y/n. Please, we’ve always done everything together. I don’t want you to give up now, baby. Anything you need, I’ll do my best to give it to you, to help you get through the bad days, please.”

Seeing her cry made you cry like a baby, “What the hell— what the hell are you saying, Jan? You don’t—”

“I mean every word. From this moment on, you tell me when you need to take the time off school to stay home. You tell me if you need painkillers, a heating pad, soup, tea, for me to hold you, cuddle with you and kiss you till you fall asleep and get some rest. I don’t care what time of day it is, I don’t care how shitty you look, I don’t care how far away I am from you, I will be there to look after you. I care about you, please don’t push me away. I love you.”

“You— what…?” Your breathing hitches.

“I love you.” She looks at you right in the eyes, “I love you, y/n. I’ve got you, it’s okay to…not be okay all the time. With me, you’re safe. I will never ever leave you like other people did. We made a promise remember? That we’ll always stick together.”

“Like birds of a feather.”

“Like birds of a feather.” You nodded, sniffling.

————

Okay, full disclosure, my mind just wandered and I thought of this little scenario and I had to get it out of my system so it’s not a polished fic by any means, but here it is anyway.

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis ‘imi’ike x fem reader #mean girls 2024 #x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #female reader #lgbtqia #queer #lesbian #wlw #fanfiction #mature themes #Spotify #drabble

[archiveikemen]

『On-Screen Lovers』 Story Event: Chapter 1

Nagi

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

One early afternoon, on my day off.

I found myself caught up in something unexpected.

(There’s nothing much to do today, so I guess I’ll take the occasional break.)

Rina: Oh, huh?

I chanced upon Sakura and the members of Gem Cuddle standing face to face with serious expressions.

Rina: Is there a reason why everyone is gathered?

Sakura: Oh. Thanks for your hard work, Kawanaga.

Sakura: We were just discussing Nagi’s work matters.

Hitaki: Actually, Nagi received a casting offer to star in a movie.

Rina: A casting offer…!?

Miu: For the lead role in a romance movie.

Nagi’s name was indeed indicated in the proposal.

“An unpopular young dancer becomes a global superstar while earnestly dealing with conflicts in love and friendship”...

The plot seemed to suit Nagi well.

However, Nagi’s facial expression was unexpectedly grim.

Nagi: I can’t act to save my life, no way I’m starring in a movie.

Miu: Geez, you’ve been saying that for a while now! Didn’t take acting lessons?

Miu: It’ll be fine once you get used to it, so just accept the offer.

Nagi: You’re only able to say that because it’s not your business. In the first place, I’m an idol.

Nagi: We have a live performance coming up, I should be spending my time preparing for that.

(Nagi is very passionate about dancing, so it’s understandable he wants to focus on practising for the upcoming live performance).

Sakura: Hmm, I understand how you feel, but…

Sakura muttered with a troubled look.

Sakura: It’s already been decided that Gem Cuddle will sing the theme song for this movie.

Sakura: It would make the fans happy if Nagi were to be chosen as the lead actor, thus giving a boost to the movie’s publicity.

Nagi: …

(Could there be some other reason why he’s being so stubborn?)

That’s what I thought, but I could only watch their discussion from the sidelines.

Miu: Ahh– for good's sake! This is getting nowhere. In any case, Nagi, you should start practising your acting.

Miu: In that case, you'll need motivation. For example, you could do your script reading with her as your partner.

I felt a pat on my shoulder as I heard myself being mentioned all of a sudden.

Rina: W-Why me? I can’t act at all.

Miu: Eh? It’s easier to practise with a partner than alone, you know?

Hitaki: Based on the script, it certainly looks like this character has many interactions with the female lead. That makes Kawanaga a suitable partner for script reading.

(Huh!? Hitaki too.)

Nagi: No, hold on. This will become a bother for her too.

Nagi: Besides, this problem only concerns me. I’m saying that I don't want anything taking my focus away from the live performance.

Hitaki: We’ll support you in that, we’re not going to let you shoulder all the burden yourself.

Hitaki: Why don’t you try doing a round of script reading with her first? I believe it won’t be too late to decide afterwards if you want to accept the casting offer or not.

Sakura: I agree. Once you know the feel of the production, you’ll be able to consider it in a more positive light.

Seeing the hopefulness in Sakura’s facial expression made me feel an urge to lend a hand despite my discomfort.

(I’d be glad if Nagi would accept the offer. In that case…)

Rina: I understand. If I’m really suitable for the task, I’ll do it.

…

Nagi and I moved to the lesson room to do script reading.

(I wonder if Nagi’s upset about being forced into this…)

Nagi: Oi.

Rina: Yes?!

Nagi: … I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.

Rina: Oh, no… I was just worried that I might’ve disregarded your boundaries.

Rina: I accepted the task, so I’ll do my best to help your acting practice go smoothly.

Nagi responded with an “okay” when I looked up at him with determination.

Nagi: I was too stubborn. I’m going to properly take this challenge, and I’ll be counting on you.

Rina: Sure!

We checked through the script and picked a good scene to practise.

The scene we picked was “the protagonist’s childhood friend, the female protagonist, is complimenting his dancing”.

(This scene involves dancing, which is something Nagi has in common with his character; it seems like a perfect scene for us to practise.)

(But it’s also mentioned that the two protagonists in this scene were “as close as lovers”. That part is kind of embarrassing…)

(T-This weak attitude is no good. I must focus!)

I took a deep breath to calm myself down before turning to face Nagi.

… And so, we started acting.

Rina: The dance moves you just did were amazing! My heart was racing while watching you.

Nagi: That’s what you say every time, but there’s still a part of the choreography I’m not satisfied with.

Rina: You’re so attentive to details. But perhaps all that practising is what made you who you are today.

(... What’s this? The topic is dance, so it feels like I’m saying all that to Nagi himself.)

(Maybe that’s why I can recite my lines with ease?)

Nagi appeared calm as well, responding naturally with his character’s lines.

(This should go well without problems if we keep this up…)

Nagi: Goodness, look at you saying such things without a hint of embarrassment. However…

Nagi suddenly leaned forward and reached towards me.

(Huh?)

The thoughts flying through my head stopped the instant he moved closer, and I felt his warm and large hand gently stroke my hair.

(H-He’s… acting out the movements described in the script.)

My heart was hammering against my chest from the sudden contact.

I couldn’t peel my eyes off Nagi’s beautiful face that was right before my eyes.

Nagi: Your words never fail to cheer me up.

Nagi: That’s why, I’ve been thinking of giving you something in return.

Nagi: I wanted to tell you this in a cool way, but… at the end of the day, I really just want to be by your side.

(... Hm? There was an odd pause just now.)

Nagi: Can I stay by your side forever? Because then…

Nagi: …

Nagi: … Damn. I can’t bring myself to continue.

Nagi muttered as he moved away from me and sighed.

Rina: What’s wrong all of a sudden?

(His acting was going well so far. But… was that strange pause I noticed just now not my imagination?)

Rina: Um… to an amateur like me, I think your acting was very natural.

Rina: Even so, do you perhaps still feel uncomfortable with acting?

Nagi seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, before he slowly spoke in response.

Nagi: … I’ll be honest. The thing I dislike isn't acting itself.

Rina: Really?

Nagi: Yeah. The real reason why I was hesitant to accept the casting offer is—

#morganatic idol #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #morudoru translations #morudoru story event #nagi #Gem Cuddle

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Enough

*gasp* 2 uploads in 1 day?

Summary: The burden of leadership weighs you down but Astarion helps you shoulder it

Astarion knows what an empty smile looks like. After two centuries of putting one on, he can tell at a glance whether a smile is genuine or empty, and the smile you’re currently giving Karlach is anything but genuine.

He watches as you sort through today’s haul with unfocused eyes, you may be here physically but mentally you’re far far away, an image Astarion has seen in himself many times over. He can’t help but worry, he’s never seen you like this, and as the leader, if you weren’t in the right state of mind, well disaster was sure to follow.

But how is he to approach you? You’ve been keeping to yourself, only talking when spoken to with a tension in your voice that wasn’t there before. Poking one’s nose in areas where it didn’t belong is your thing, not his, and he’s afraid of ruining the relationship the both of you share. He clings onto that relationship like his life depends on it because to a certain extent it does, but also because it’s one of the few things he can call his own and he doesn’t want to lose it.

You head into your tent, the flap swallowing you whole but he remains where he is, hesitation preventing him from following you in. He fights with himself about whether he should enter, he knows he’s welcomed in your tent but he doesn’t want to intrude, so he lingers outside, pretending to busy himself with a book when he’s really listening in to your tent.

He keeps his concerns to himself when you don’t invite him into your tent for the night like you would usually do and heads to the woods to hunt, hoping that the chase will be enough to distract him from his worries but with each step he takes, all he can think about is the tired empty look in your eyes.

After taking far longer than usual to finish up his hunt, he heads back to his tent, ready to turn in for what remains of the night when he hears sniffles. Usually, he wouldn’t concern himself with such things but it’s different when it comes from your tent. He cautiously makes his way over, quietly hiding outside your tent as he debates whether to enter it or not until Karlach comes out of nowhere and gives him a little shove.

“Go on in, Fangs. You’re the only one whom they’ll listen to.” The Tiefling flashes him a grin before heading back to her own tent. Astarion watches her go, and then turns his gaze back to your tent where the sniffles have stopped, takes a deep breath and heads inside.

“May I come in, my dear?” He asks, lifting the tent flap.

“You’re supposed to say that when outside the tent not inside,” you sniff.

He can see your bloodshot eyes even as you try to avert your gaze, see the mess that your tent is in because you haven’t been tidying things up and makes his way over to you, sitting right by your side.

He doesn’t say a word, he’s not sure how’d you react to the practiced words he can so easily spout without a second thought and so he simply sits there, letting you know that he’s right next to you should you need anything. His gaze searches you for a hint of what else he can do and he holds out his arms so that you can fall into them. He curls around you, running his fingers through your hair like you do for him whenever he’s feeling down and feels you lean into him.

Silent tears stream down your cheeks, staining his clothes but he continues to wrap you in his embrace, patiently waiting for you to be ready to open up.

“It’s too much,” you whisper after a while.

“What is?” He murmurs, continuing to stroke your hair.

“Everything. This whole tadpole thing, this whole leading thing. I’m not suited to be the leader, all I’ve done is get everyone into terrible situations and everyone but me pays the price.” You begin to sob, the weight of it all crashing down on you. “Why am I even the leader? Is this all a mistake? Am I a mistake?”

“It’s not.” He says with such firmness it catches you off guard. He glares at you, red eyes glowing furiously. “It is not a mistake. You are not a mistake. Do not ever say that about yourself!”

He holds you tightly, burying his face into your hair. “You are the reason Cazador can’t control me anymore, you’re the reason I can figure out how to love again, you’re the reason why I don’t stare at my body in disgust and hatred anymore. Without you…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’re my everything,” he whispers. “My everything. I want you to see that, to realise how important you are. You’re the only thing keeping this bunch of weirdos together, no one else can do that.”

You feel the dam break and tears start flooding out. You cry, wail, let it all out as he hugs you, clinging onto you. He feels his own undead heart ache at the sound of your cries and wishes he could fight your inner demons for you. Alas, just like how he has to fight his own inner demons off, you have to do the same thing too, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be there for you. After all, you are always there for him when they come, and you’re the one he chose to be his lover. He swore to protect you the day you confessed your feelings for him, and he will uphold that promise, no matter what.

He feels your nails dig into his flesh and winces slightly when they dig a little too deep, but it’s a small price to pay for your comfort.

“When the demons come knocking, remember that I will always be there for you. I will fight with you, protect you because I need and love you.” He’s never felt so vulnerable, his walls brought all the way down with this confession of his but he knows you won’t hurt him.

You bury your tear stained face in his chest, tired from all the crying but feeling lighter because of it. You feel his hand rubbing circles on your back, a comforting motion and your eyes begin to close, your body worn out from the day’s events.

“I need and love you too,” you mumble as exhaustion takes hold, your doubts and worries banished for another day. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion romance #astarion x durge #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion ancunin #tavstarion #durgestarion #astarion

[666writingcafe]

MC's Boogeyman

Solomon

As MC leaves the stand and walks over to the chest, I look over at Diavolo and Belphegor. They look as worried as I feel. You see, the test that Craxon has assigned to MC hasn't been used in many centuries, because the boogeyman has a tendency to drive people mad from fear. Some have even died. The last time the boogeyman was utilized was as a means of torture, and that was shortly after I got kicked out of the Society.

Craxon clearly wants to know what MC's biggest fear is--his prolonged silence earlier indicates that much--but I have no idea why he'd need that information. Then again, he often keeps his cards close to his chest, so it's usually hard to tell what's going through his mind at the best of times.

MC takes a deep breath and indicates that they're ready. The chest is open, and the boogeyman flies out of it in a flash of bright purple light. The room becomes pitch black for a few seconds before revealing that the boogeyman has transformed into...

MC?

At least, I think it's MC. Between the glowing eyes and sinister grin, their features are nearly unrecognizable.

I watch my apprentice shake as the boogeyman circles them.

"You poor thing," it coos mockingly. "You just can't control yourself, can you?"

"Stop it," MC whispers, causing the boogeyman to snicker.

"What's wrong? Too scared to confront the truth?" It stops behind MC and leans close to their ear. "You're a monster, darling. How is anyone supposed to feel safe around you?"

MC clenches their jaw as a few tears escape their eyes, and I have to stop myself from launching myself at the boogeyman. Judging by the looks on Belphegor and Diavolo's faces, they're having a similar struggle.

"One day, everyone will come to their senses and realize that trying to keep you alive and sane is an unnecessary burden," the boogeyman continues. "Your death would benefit the greater good."

"Enough," MC murmurs. The boogeyman tuts in disapproval.

"Pathetic."

"I'm not pathetic."

"Sure you are. Why do you think the most powerful people in the three realms are interested in you? You're like a wounded animal that they can't help but feel sorry for. They don't actually care about you. They'll turn you out the moment you become too dangerous. After all, they can't have you slaughtering their own kind just because someone hurt your precious little feelings."

"Enough!" MC glares at the boogeyman. "I may be a freak of nature, but that doesn't mean that I'm unworthy of love."

"Is that so?" MC nods.

"I have thought about ending my life on many occasions, but each time these guys give me a reason to stay. If they didn't love me, they wouldn't even try." The boogeyman bursts out laughing, but instead of cowering, MC stands their ground.

"Oh, you're actually serious," the boogeyman states once it composes itself.

"Of course I am," MC replies. "My life is not a joking matter." The boogeyman rolls its eyes, but I can tell that it's losing its power. For one, it appears a bit smaller than it did a few moments ago.

"Furthermore, a literal reaper went out of her way to ensure my survival, even though I only knew of her existence a few days prior," they add. "If that isn't a sign that I'm meant to be alive, then I don't know what is." Silence. The boogeyman continues to shrink.

"And even if I feel helpless and weak, I know for a fact that these guys will support me every step of the way. I almost feel sorry for you, because you'll never know what it's liked to be loved by even one person, let alone several. You'll just be seen as a mere object, a tool at best." MC directly calling out the boogeyman causes it to screech loudly as it quickly disappear back into its chest. Once the lid closes, MC collapses onto the ground and begins sobbing.

I look up at Craxon, and he silently nods, granting me permission to comfort MC. Diavolo and Belphegor are close behind.

In my opinion, MC has earned their star of humility.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me original characters #obey me diavolo #obey me lord diavolo #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[reddeadii]

bruh

#vent #no one rly follows me anyway and i dont have anywhere else to say it so im just gonna #say all this dumb stuff here #i legit don’t know what to do anymore like it’s so hard to get therapy and #i feel like im completely drowning and i don’t know who i am anymore and i feel like i’ve ruined everything with everyone that i love #i think im going to be all alone soon and i don’t know what to do about that #im so scared for school to start because i doubt that anyone is going to like me #i suck at introducing myself to new people and that’s what i’m gonna have to do like a million times like what am i supposed to say about #myself i don’t really have any hobbies or anything #i feel like there’s no point to my life anymore because it’s never gonna get better lol #gotta love chronic mental illness amirite #i don’t want to be alone i don’t want to lose anyone because i love everyone in my life so much but my friends treat me so badly and they #don’t like me now and i don’t know what to do because if i lose anyone else besides them i’ll be all alone and i don’t know what to do #and i don’t know what i did wrong! i don’t know why my friends don’t like me anymore #it’s not just ‘growing apart’ it’s not they’re genuinely being cruel to me #i don’t get it #i really don’t want to be alone #i feel like my life is going to shit and it’s all my fault #i know i did something wrong i must have i just don’t know what it is #i feel like such a burden to everyone in my life #and i try not to say anything i really do #i don’t want to bother anyone #but it just hurts so much i’m so sick and i don’t want to be alone #but like… if i keep Saying Things i’m going to ruin everything i have left

[hypogryffin]

side-by-side

#persona 3 #p3 #mitsuru kirijo #p3 aigis #i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about the potential of mitsuai as a dynamic #emotions even #just. listen. they are the only two who can never stop fightjng shadows. who will never have peace and never leave the other world behind #everyone else has a choice. maybe akihiko doesnt feel like he does maybe he feels like he has to get stronger and keep figjting #so that no one he knows will ever get hurt again. but its a DECISION on his part to stay fighting shadows. and everyone else has left their #fighting days behind. but aegis and mitsuru?? #aegis is a shadow suppression unit. she was created to fight shadows and even if she has a life and feelings and friends she will never #NOT be a robot made to fight and kill shadows. she can never stop. it is a part of her forever. #and mitsuru theoretically has a choice but. does she really? does she really? the moment she awoke to her persona she was cursed #now as the last kirijou alive she has a burden no one else could possibly bear. no one can take responsibility for her grandfathers sins. #nor for her fathers. nor for every person who worked at kirijou ergonomics no matter their innocence. no one but her. #she cant stop fighting shadows until the kirijou name is clear of guilt. and that will never happen until shadows stop existing #everyone else who survived sees have the option to put their weapons down. whether they choose it is on them but they CAN choose #mitsuru and aegis will never be so lucky #just. G-D! G-D! gnaws my arm off

[pansyfemme]

i think this time of year is cursed

#last year i got horribly sick and depressed #this year i had to flee my dorm and miss classes to keep myself safe from harassment until i could work out moving times #im so fucking angry i am fuming i am furious i want to scream #i did absolutly nothing to deserve this. this wasnt a mutual argument this wasn’t a bad roomate thing this was a person using the fact that #i am a traumatized trans person to intimidate and harass me and make me feel unwelcome in my housing #i feel sick with rage. #im well liked on campus im doing fantastic in all my classes i am doing everything i can #and one person decided he hated me and fucked up my entire semester #the good thing is i am never sleeping there again. i am not returning to that dorm until i am there to move out and i am greatful #but im just so upset about the whole thing. #everyone on campus agrees i did nothing. that i didnt cause this. but i still have to carry the burden of moving #he will be talked to and i dont think he will ever feel welcome on campus after this but i am so angry he thinks so little of me he thought #he could make my life hell and face no punishment for it.

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[jrueships]

ill be having such a good time then Boom, someone says something

#i love to drive... when i know where im going #im a great driver #but my navigation skills are so shit. theyre so shit #yall i cannot. for the life of me. read fuckin google maps well while driving #i cant judge the distance of a turn.. i think a right turn is a left bcs the screen didnt rotate yet and it's #and i cant remember road names bcs im a landmark man #it's so embarrassing. and all my good driving turns to shy shit bcs it's like. idk. i hate being weird. i hate feeling stupid #i hate being stupid #i hate being told im not stupid until i do smthing stupid again and they get annoyed and u can tell they took it back #bcs everyones right. everyones so right so im not mad at them. im not #im just mad at myself. like it's so fucked. i hate being fucked (literally) (asexual) #i hate getting marked for being wrong in math bcs i saw the + as a ÷ and i did the division right but no one cares abt that bcs it's weird #it's fucked it's so fucked im so fucked #it's so embarrassing. i hate being embarrassing #it's not quirky or cute or anything. setting the wrong alarm bcs i saw the 8 as a 6 is not funny. it's not when u keep doing it #and u keep doublechecking urself and get it wrong anyways #i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid #u think i dont want to just be normal and fun and carefree with things people find easy? you think i dont want an easy life? #u think i like making people's lives hard? you think i Like being a burden??? #i dont wanna be here .

[nabaath-areng]

Fuck Sweden as a nation for turning the woobification of our history and culture into one of our greatest exports, pretending to be wholesome and peaceful while profiting from conflicts elsewhere. For never having the fucking spine to take any stance ever and acting high and mighty for being "neutral", all while frothing at the mouth to get a piece of that colonial cake from the cool kids table where the superpowers are seated. For recognizing Palestine's sovereignty only to then consider a withdrawal of said recognition in response to the current genocide. For allowing islamophobia to get to the point it is now and then pointing fingers at jews as a whole. For giving less of a flying fuck about swedish jews during WW2 and until now, yet patting ourselves on the back and taking credit for heroic deeds done primarily by individuals.

I wish nothing but absolute hell and misery for Ulf Kristersson, who is even more spineless about his inaction than I thought possible. Who had nothing to say about the burnings of the torah and quran, only to claim that he stands for fighting antisemitism. Who puffed up his chest and was acting so tough about the things he would do once he became prime minister, only to hold up on none of his lofty promises in true conservative fashion. Both he and his lackeys (as well as their fanclubs of raging screaming bigots) deserve nothing but hurt and hell for continuing to destroy the lives of all marginalized groups in Sweden, all while shamelessly increasing their own salaries blatantly in the open, to then have the sheer and utter gut to declare that actively supporting genocide is within our best interests.

This country's audacity is one that only became possible because we sacrificed our neighbours safety for the sake of maintaining our own, because when your most recent war was in 1809 it's apparently not possible to even try and comprehend the horrors of modern warfare. That is, besides producing the tools for it to happen elsewhere.

#the complete disdain for compassion and humanity is abhorrent #not to mention incomprehensable #im sorry im all over the place bedridden cause bad pain day which makes me even more angry #because i want to strangle everyone in riksdagen with my bare hands #and like im sorry not to be a state hater or anything (sike) but how #and i mean HOW. can one claim that we know democracy #when the people who supposedly represent the rest of us #can just go ahead and do these types of things willy nilly as they please #how can we claim to have free will when the burdens of having to earn the right to life #by working to death and being left to die if we cant adapt to the system #and being actively drained too dry to dare take risks standing up #how can that ever be freedom? #seeing everything coming out of gaza in video audio images all of it #and feeling hopeless? powerless to do anything? #how is that NOT suppression? to break people down to the point they cant find the spirit to fight? #to cast other regular people as villains so that all energy is spent falling into bigotry? #social media is hell but its also one of our greatest tools now #its like being able to zoom out and see the greater overview of the stranglehold capitalism and colonialism has on the world #im not coherent at all and my thumbs are dying now i just #but sooner or later somethings gotta give re: the way our society is built as a whole globally

[berryblu-arts]

"How come earth has 6 different local guardian types if other planets only have one or maybe two in extremely rare cases?"

Sage:

It's complicated-

#listen man hes trying his best #not his fault the solar system is particularly prone to dying #adagdfsfs anyways; fixing some worldbuilding inconsistencies up ^^ <3 #this is sage; only guardian of fate; been around for a couple millenia; semi immortal an would love to retire #he cant tho; he'd just be passing the burden to another; plus his siblings need him #you see; at the start he was the youngest of 4; the guardians of the light and shadow realms; the guardian of life; and him;guardian of fate #but everyone else has died and been replaced several times over; the replacements always feel like echoes of his siblings #so he takes them as siblings too; and watches over them as best as he can #the current shadow and light guardians are only a little over 2 centuries old #anyways enough infodumping ahahah #probs gonna redesign him slightly but i feel im on the right path ^^ #my intention is for him to look young but strangely...old? he wears modern clothes #but in a way that echoes his roots #aaaaaa can you tell im a little ill about him 😭 #my art #my oc #sage #fate