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magaprima · 3 years

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Episode 5 liveblog

First Angel glimpse. Why are angels always so bureaucratic? Yeesh

Tater tots are an important student president issue

Why hello there Nick wandering around Baxter High

Blackwood’s head on a plate is making me laugh haha

Lilith being like GO AWAY LEAVE US BE like a typically stressed mother. And I’m dying that she hasn’t left the room and Hilda being like ‘erm how do I broach this’

I shall remain in this room until Adam is 16 being Lilith’s entire plan and how she thinks it’s a great plan makes me laugh because for someone as old as Lilith 16 years is nothing. Also it’s a big fucking deal that she’s willing to not be Queen and be Queen Mother instead, it again shows how much she loves Baby Adam because she WANTS him to have the throne.

I do love when she’s like argh stop crying.

Sabrina saying ‘Calm down, Ariel’ when Nick says ‘I wanna be part of your world’ BAHAHAHA

Sabrina M being an official Queen. And the whole ‘babe again, no’ when caliban wants a tenth circle again. And Lucifer finally noticing Lilith isn’t there. Took him a while the self-absorbed bastard

Oh god random booth at Dr Cee’s popping off to hell for a moment

Theo don’t ignore creepy laughter in your room

Omg another hobgoblin???? No memory wiping and sneaking off is not cool, Robin

It seems like hell and the mortal realm are pushing in on each other? The boundaries fading?

Sabrina M stands like Zelda and behaves like Zelda. I like this hehe

Why does the former church smell? Omg Blackwood’s body is rotting? And why are his kids still so wiggy?

Side note: where are all the adults at this season? Make it less teenagers please

Yes you are responsible Sabrina. Your paradox twin and you caused all this knock on effect. Ooooh time for the aunties to find out there are two Sabrinas. And Ambrose being like ‘wait you’re actually going to take responsibility?’

Ooooh no Morningstars got there first. And the dark Lord being pissy about Hecate worship.

‘Ambrose Spellman you come here right this instant’ great Zelda moment ooh Ambrose is 134 years old.

Also all this bringing the dark Lord to the academy is the entire reason all the shit happens to lilith. So yet again consequences of Sabrina’s actions tragically effect Lilith

So there is also a fae realm

Oh Lucifer and caliban being utter sleazy mysoginistic bastards about fucking Hecate?????? She’s more powerful than both of you and way better you bastards. I love Nick calling them tools

Roz is adapting VERY quickly to witch life. Having torture fun on Blackwood. Nowhere as much as prudence who is having the TIME OF HER LIFE

Lucifer being the first suggesting kill a Sabrina. He’s such a bastard. Nick coming in with a much more intelligent idea. Magnet polarity on a magic scale; neatly.

Darkest of the dark lords? Think a lot of yourself don’t you, Lucifer??

Dammit didn’t work with the magnets

It’s raining pearls?

‘The false god will be sticking his nose in our affairs. I hate when he does that’ lucifer has issues

An Angel calling lucifer Lightbringer and i like that they’re referred to as gender neutral

So the Angel says they can merge into one Sabrina which is awkward because they now have two distinct souls

Also why is Sabrina not at all interested in her baby brother??? Like why hasn’t she gone to see him??

LILITH SINGING HER BABY TO SLEEP WHILE ROCKING HIM SHES SO PEACEFUL. And then it’s fucking ruined by the dark Lord arriving

Oh I wish you had kept running Lilith, just for a little time at least

‘Here take Adam hide him keep him safe’ trusting Adam to Hilda MY HEART

And god Lilith looks so scared but she’s being so brave in facing him.

‘Well she was the goddess of witches and I am the first witch’ damn straight, Lilith

The fear in lilith’s eyes, not at the idea of being killed, but the idea of Adam being left alone with lucifer and without his mother to protect him and knowing he would ‘toughen him up’ by being cruel and abusive. Lilith fears for his welfare more than her own and i just wish she’d gone to Zelda instead but I feel she just thinks she never wins, that the dark Lord always comes back, always and she’d be running forever and Adam would always be in danger. The fact she has make this horrible horrible decision is causing my PHYSICAL PAIN in my heart

And she knows when she’s rocking him that it’s the last time she’ll ever hold him. She loves her son, she loves him, wants to keep him safe....and has to butcher him. I can’t bear it. I CANT FUCKING BEAR IT. Like i can’t focus on any other scenes be when I keep thinking about Lilith having her last hours with Adam. Ow, I’m crying.

Oooh Angel being fucking sneaky and lying. Big fucking surprise and now everyone choking the Angel to death and breaking her neck. Is that possible?

Theo being self-sacrificing and telling Robin to go.

So Sabrina M being shot through into another cosmos. So many many universes this season. Stepping through a mirror is very traditional.

OMG THE ORIGINAL AUNTS THEYRE HERE

Owwww the Lilith child scene. I’m crying. There’s blood everywhere. And calling Adam her lover and saying she named her son after him. And the way she reminds him of the ‘dinner’ he served her. And begging lucifer to kill her. She loved that baby so much and she wanted to die so much to be reunited with him, both of them free from the dark Lord. Her agony when he curses to age and wither and grieve but never die, and how much she cries out in agony over it so much

And then she’s outraged at his punishment but then it REALLY hits her as she looks around and sees the blood of the son she loved so much, the son we haven’t see her without since he was born, and realises not only is she cursed to live but she’s cursed to live without her son and knowing she killed him. Although I’m watching with my mum and she immediately was like ‘I understand her actions so much. It’s like when someone’s suffering and they die and you think at least they’re free of that now. It’s saving your child from the suffering no one could protect him from’. But my gods she loved her son so much.

I am in fucking agony myself over this

#caos p4 spoilers #CAOS p4 liveblog

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writingsbychlo · 4 years

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okay i need to get this off my chest or else i might explode. i really need to vent to someone, and im so sorry it’s gonna be you, but get ready for a long few asks about void stiles. i’m so sorry in advance...

okay, I copy and pasted all the other asks under the keep reading. the stuff in bold is the original asks, and all the stuff below is my opinion.

*inhales* okay so I DESPISE how they never properly explained or went into why the nogitsune chose stiles as it’s host. I know that they got away with saying it was to with flies and doors being ajar and all that, but I don’t think that’s the whole story. stiles MUST have had some darkness, a ‘void’ if you will, that seemed inviting to the nogitsune. there HAS to have been something that drew it there, a darkness that most people don’t possess. there has to be some sort of unexplained power because he adapted to being void so weirdly QUICKLY. it goes back to season 1 where stiles manages to create a massive circle of mountain ash with his mind. that’s not possible for a regular human, and they totally brushed over it. he figures things out and senses things in a way that I personally don’t think can all be down to him just being really smart.

he’s mischievous, a trickster, and sometimes difficult, and that was ALL before the nogitsune. he was always reluctant to save people compared to Scott, even encouraging members of the pack to let people die sometimes. and really, if stiles were any creature, anything at all, don’t you think he’d be a fox?

then again, I haven’t slept for 14 hours, I need to take my Adderall and I tend to over analyse things until I cant actually breathe so this could just be a total waste of words and time and everything ever. also, I love soft, kind, self-sacrificing stiles too. so.

Okay, first of all, I absolutely fucking agree. We did not get nearly enough back story on the nogitsune. I could’ve gone for a whole 24 episodes on it, there was so much unexplored history we could've had. I would’ve liked to see more about how the nogitsune was created, other times he’s been released and caused chaos, and he definitely could’ve had a deeper backstory. One episode? That made me mad. He’s 1000 years old, there was so much they could’ve covered.

Not to mention, there was so much more that they could’ve gone into with Stiles. He has so much hidden darkness and rage. I mean, there was a definite reason the nogitsune chose Stiles. He has a lot of deeply rooted pain and suffering to feed and play on. Let’s list a few, shall we?

His mom’s death

His constant rejection from society because of his ADHD/general spazziness

The weight of looking after his dad

The weight of almost losing the only parent he had left, and almost losing Melissa, who is a pseudo mother to him

Being the one to hold Scott together every time Scott fucks up

The constant feeling of failure

His anxiety???

The personal weakness he feels as being a human

The constant, on-going and crushing regret of not accepting the bite from Peter when things get tough and he could have just been a wolf

The lives of Erica and Boyd being on his conscience

Rage from being constantly underestimated for his intelligence and abilities

Being torn because he only ever wants to do the right thing and he tries so hard but sometimes it just doesn’t work out

There’s so much more, but I will not go on.

There has always been so much potential for Stiles, and they always gave little hints about ‘what could be’ and then never followed up on it. It really irked me, because they always made something special out of everyone else, and Stiles never got a chance to be something more. I love Stiles, I really do, but there were so many paths they could have explored with him that they just didn’t.

The nogitsune had three options, three minds with open doors.

Allison, a huntress who is highly skilled, honestly has a larger reach of people because of her family and her popularity, and she had access to a lot of equipment that could cause definite pain and suffering.

Scott, a werewolf, and the leader of a pack. He could have hurt so many, been used to guide an entire pack into creating chaos because they wouldn't question their leader, and the boy they looked up to.

Stiles, a boy who is supposedly weak, a boy who is human, and has a very limited number of friends and people who could be harmed. He’s scrawny, he’s “147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bones”, and yet, he was the one chosen to wreak havoc.

Stiles was chosen because he has deep-rooted pain, anger, anguish, and torment swirling in his mind. He suppresses it al for the sake of other people, lets his emotions fester and bubble over and so he was the obvious choice. He is cunning, and intelligent, and sneaky. We’ve seen it. He’s sly and manipulative with his attitude and he’s not afraid to stand tall with his friends, despite how scared he may be.

Stiles has all the qualities a fox would have, and that is another reason why Stiles was chosen. He was the perfect host.

#venusremus

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hope-for-olicity · 5 years

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Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - May 10th, 2019

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. This and all previous Fabulous Olicity Fanfic posts can be found on my blog.

With the Speed of an Arrow multi-chapter Complete by @academyofshipping - Oliver Queen’s elite and silver-spoon life has taken some blows in the past few years, but he is still the carefree billionaire everyone knows of and loves. When his role in the family business is in jeopardy and he is introduced to a motley of new people, his status quo is threatened. With a changed perspective, Oliver realizes his feeling for his best friend and anchor-in-life, Felicity Smoak, may be more than just platonic. OR A modern adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma with a gender swap* and no island. *Knowing that gender is not binary https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559846/chapters/38799857

Tick Tick Boom multi-chapter WIP by @nodecaff4me - This story is loosely based on S02, starting with the appearance of the Clock King. Only this time, Tockman is not just after the money, but also after Felicity. Someone hired him to go after her. How will she and her team handle this new threat? And the even bigger question; who is after her and why? https://archiveofourown.org/works/5365172/chapters/12390371

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

Let it Out by @laxit21 - Let’s pretend that Arrow ended after Oliver was acquitted in 6x21. The Lizard and everyone connected to him all died or were erased from existence, including Black Siren. This is sad. You’ve been warned. After an unexpected tragedy, Oliver and Felicity say goodbye to someone important to both of them. https://laxit21.tumblr.com/post/184626020474/let-it-out

Conspiracy by @felicityollies - (prompt) Slade conspires with Thea of all people to get Oliver and Felicity to break their "let's take it one step at a time rule" by putting them in a situation for Oliver to propose to her again. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11915487

Blast from the Past by @felicityollies - Set in season two - Oliver’s ex comes to visit him, but has to stop by executive assistant Felicity first. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921649

Unasked Questions by @laurabelle2930 - This one takes place during 3x20. It’s my take on what happened before we see Oliver staring out over the moon lit sands of Nanda Parbat. Warning: It’s smutty... https://archiveofourown.org/works/11927979

Want vs Need by @felicityollies - Felicity knows the difference between want versus need, but she can’t seem to let go of a beautiful jacket she saw in a department store window. She goes as far as to steal it right off the rack. A kind stranger, that happens to be the city’s mayor, steps in when she gets caught. (prompt) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11940456

Every Piece of You multi-chapter WIP by @bowsmoakandarrow - If anyone had told Felicity Smoak that she'd be a single mother right out of MIT, she would have laughed in your face. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554779/chapters/25950957

I Do Believe In Magic by @smoakmonster - AU 5x09 flashback, in which present day Oliver Queen actually time-travels back for a short visit to see Felicity in 2012, before she became his partner, before he’s supposed to be in love with her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/2588447/chapters/20369764

Is it Too Much to Ask? (It Probably is) by @laureningall - Written for the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon prompt "Ask" Felicity knows that Oliver would do just about anything she asked of him. But what about something that was pretty silly. It was silly really, what was bothering her. Felicity works to track down a long lost team mate for some help with her unusual request. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921043

Something Old and Someone New by CaptainBrieOnToast - Felicity decides to make a pretty drastic lifestyle change her Senior Year of high school, at first no one notices, but then some does. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11944593

You're thinking too LOUD by sssssssim - Once upon a time, metaphoricalanchor posted this thing: AU prompt: Person A is thinking sexually graphic or generally odd thoughts and suddenly panics and thinks “If you’re a mind reader, cough right now.” Person B coughs. Then, wittyfelicity had a party in the tags: #IMAGINE THIS ABOUT OLIVER AND FELICITY#LIKE FELICITY IS HAVING A DAYDREAM AND THEN HER THOUGHTS START TO GET REALLY GRAPHIC AND OLIVER PRACTICALLY CHOKES WHEN SHE SUDDENLY THINKS#THAT#CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS THOUGH#SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE IT ... I took it upon myself to write the thing. Smut. THING. https://archiveofourown.org/works/1414105/chapters/5204288

The Only Way to Know is to Ask by @cruzrogue - Felicity and Oliver have been living in their new home for roughly a month and after Oliver's run he meets one person that Felicity has conversed with during his outing. But they aren't the new neighbors... https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951745

Olicity One-Shot: The Rage Phase by @entersomethingcleverhere - Newsroom AU — Felicity might have been the face of Atlantic Cable News’ financial analysis, but when an ex-boyfriend takes revenge on her for breaking up with him, he tries to ruin it all for her. Oliver’s the only one she can turn to to help her get off the floor and fight back. https://entersomethingcleverhere.tumblr.com/post/164841890517/olicity-one-shot-the-rage-phase

The Fan multi-chapter WIP by @leuska - For the past couple of months, Felicity Smoak, previous child star known to the world through her alter ego Lisy the Tech Whiz, who ended her career and her growing popularity at the age of thirteen rather abruptly, has sporadically received disturbing notes and gifts in her mail. Police believe the notes to be just little tokens of appreciation by a former fan. Despite having left the spotlight over a decade ago and living in anonymity since, the fan mail keeps coming, increasing in frequency as well as intensity. Thelast drop is when Felicity receives another letter with a love note. A scary, ominous note. A note written in human blood.FBI director Amanda Waller tasks her best Agent to the case. Oliver Queen, a criminal profiler, is currently working on a special task force formed between SCPD and FBI to catch a man dubbed the Start City Slasher, who has murdered at least three young women in the past nine months. Agent Queen is not thrilled with the prospect of holding a former princess’ hand through her problem with a simple stalker while a serial killer is still at large. However, once meeting her, Oliver finds there is nothing easy or simple about Felicity Smoak as their worlds start to intertwine. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726573/chapters/41820368

Did You Pack Enough? by @christinabeggs - Felicity preparing for trip with the two most important men in her life. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11955036

Ghost by @felicityollies - Olicity + "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I love you Felicity. " post 3x09 angst https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610375/chapters/27070692

Mission Impossible by @felicityollies - Felicity gets kidnapped during an undercover OTA mission https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610375/chapters/27072189

Choose Me by @felicityollies - prompt: choose - Felicity begs Oliver not to continue his daredevil lifestyle. She wishes he would give up his street racing and choose her, but he’s adamant that his racing is for her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034534/chapters/27176745

Choose by @wetsuiton - dialogue fic, prompt choose https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084547/chapters/27178335#main

Our Once Barren World Now Brims with Life by @overwatchandarrow - Felicity is worried Willaim won't like her. Oliver wholeheartedly disagrees. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12018810

Five Times Felicity Finds the Ring multi-chapter Complete by @anthfan - Five part series. Each chapter shows a different way Felicity finds out about the ring in the bowl. Chapters are standalone. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5184392/chapters/11944589

The Voyage to You multi-chapter WIP by @obibalwin - Felicity Smoak didn’t want a complicated life. She enjoyed helping people as a nurse at Starling City General Hospital and spending time with her best friend Sara. When a John Doe arrives on the fifth floor of thehospital, she finds herself being dragged into a world of mysterious oaths and visions. The only thing she can hope is to stay strong enough to resist the man who has traveled to find her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596788/chapters/38895977

I Can't Let Her Die multi-chapter WIP by @originalhybridloverfics - Future Oliver seeks present day Oliver help to save Felicity. Chapter 1 https://originalhybridloverfics.tumblr.com/post/183625037894/i-cant-let-her-die Chapter 2 https://originalhybridloverfics.tumblr.com/post/184191980224/i-cant-let-her-die-ch2 Chapter 3 https://originalhybridloverfics.tumblr.com/post/184665869079/i-cant-let-her-die-ch3

Forget Me Not multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Felicity was presumed dead after The Gambit was shipwrecked and she went missing. As the one year anniversary of her death approaches, a miracle happens and she is found. Just when Oliver thinks the universe has given them a second chance, he learns Felicity barely remembers him and the memories of their love together are gone entirely. Oliver and Felicity’s journey after they reunite prove to be a tough road ahead, and then they learn that Felicity’s accident may have had a more sinister motive behind it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392291/chapters/43556987

Providence multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated - Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she'll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move... And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919056/chapters/42308753

Hard To Find Love multi-chapter WIP by Mellowyellowdiamonds - Through a tragic twist of fate Felicity finds herself left with an orphaned young William Clayton. Keeping her promise to her friend, Felicity raises William diligently, loving him as if he were her own child, only to have Moira Queen storm into their lives several years later demanding custody of her grandson. Locked in a war with Moira Queen, things get complicated when Felicity finds herself developing unwanted feelings for William's biological father, Oliver Queen. At the same time she must try to manage her meddling 13 year old son, who has it in his head that if Felicity would just cooperate and fall for his father, everything would be right in the world. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941786/chapters/37173917

Ivy Town to Star City by @geneshaven - Oliver's thoughts as he and Felicity take the limo from Ivy Town to Star City https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/184709636599/ivy-town-to-star-city

Pieces of Always multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

Our Version of Events multi-chapter WIP by @machawicket and @geneeste - Action star Ollie Queen is trying to clean up his image and land parts that require him to do more than appear shirtless while fighting stuntmen. Pop star Felicity Smoak wants to be seen as an adult in time for the release of her new, grittier album. And talent manager John Diggle’s got an idea about what coverage of Oliver and Felicity’s brand new (and totally fake) romance could do for them both. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8025382/chapters/18375349

Thank God You're Alive by @alexiablackbriar13 - that olicity reunion scene in 7x21, slightly re-vamped with more hugs and kisses and concern because c'mon arrow... https://archiveofourown.org/works/18749404

P.S. Hong Kong: Was it Real?!? multi-chapter WIP by @cruzrogue for Olicity trope-tastic award: Fake Marriage - This is off season 3 Flashbacks. When Tommy goes to Hong Kong he doesn’t go alone he takes his friend Felicity as the best information system being to help him locate Oliver Queen. Tommy may leave empty handed but Felicity gets to be a bride… https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025697/chapters/34832747

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // @laxit21 //

#FabulousOlicityFanficFriday #olicity fanfiction #fic recs

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amazingspiderfan110 · 5 years

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What If

This story follows what if Dewey became spider-man in this universe

The Prologue ties in to this fan fic https://www.wattpad.com/story/148178722-reservation-for-four the only difference is right before Dewey fell into the shark tank, he got bit by the spider, and right before he went into glomgold’s library, he was trying to UN-stick himself from the walls. And they are 10 instead of 12

Prologue:(takes place a week after the shadow war, and Della's disappearance is different in this universe). Dewey had an idea of what his powers were, he could stick to walls, spidey sense, and recently found out about his super strength during the shadow war. He thought of putting his skills to good use, he thought about his skill set and thought of being an underground wrestler. So after doing some research, he found a match where he could properly test his skills. He wanted to design a suit to remain anonymous, in case if the person he beats is a sore looser, and he doesn’t need him on the list of villains. So he got out a piece of paper and started, he knew the suit would be blue and black. But how to hide his face, so Dewey added a hood that couldn't fall back, some goggles,and a mask that only covers his mouth. After 2 hours, Dewey finished his suit design, And after 1 week, he finished the suit, Spider-man lenses put into goggle form, a mouth cover (really a bandanna), and the suit was a sky blue and black, the hard part was drawing the webbing and putting on both spider symbols, then the hood, Dewey looked in the mirror, he felt invincible, but more than usual.

The actual story:

Dewey was just at a funeral, it was for his uncle Donald. The police were busy chasing the man responsible for his death, but Dewey beat them to him, after a brutal fight, Dewey turned on a flashlight, he wanted to see the pain and fear that was in him, he wanted revenge. But then he realized that was the man he let past him after he robbed the wrestling match. It was Dewey’s Fault that Uncle Donald was dead

“GAH”

Dewey woke up, it was just a nightmare, and a memory. It was only 2 months since he got his powers, he managed to build web shooters, finally. This past month was crazy, they learned that Their parents died in a crash and Lena was back. Dewey realized that it was 9 o clock, so he decided to go outside, he put on his suit, loaded the web shooters, and he was off. Louie was up watching tv, it was nice and quiet, Until Webby came In”FINALLY”

“What”asked Louie

“I FINALLY FOUND MAGICAS AMULET”

“Oh”

“aren’t you thrilled”

“webby, that think nearly killed us all”

“Its Only one amulet”

Huey rushed in yelling,”GUYS, YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND”

Webby and Louie followed Huey into the Forrest to see a box with 3 amulets that looked like the one webby found.

“You jinxed it”, Said Louie

“I didn’t know this existed”Replied webby

:how did you find it anyway?”

“I saw a weird pile of dirt, so I decided to see what was under It and I found this”Said Huey

“we should take this to someone who can make sure this wont kill us, or at least can figure out what they do”

“how about gyro” said webby

Later in the lab

“so you want me to use my advanced equipment to analyze 3 objects you found in the Forrest,” asked Gyro

“Yep,” responded Louie

“Fine, i’ll have results by tomorrow”

Meanwhile Dewey was swinging around Duckburg, thinking

“how am i going to tell her, i want to but I can’t, and on top of that I have to be spider-man, Maybe if I first show her That I’m Spider-Man, then that will help, No, That would be too rushed, Why am I talking to myself while webbing up a bunch of robbers, never mind, I should just be honest, and if she says no, we can still be friends, RIGHT?, and if she doesn’t, well at least I’m spider-man, I mean i have a catchy theme song, spec-tac-ular spec-tac-ular DANG IT ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN, today Dewey, you are going to tell her how you feel, Its time to be a man, a spider-man,”But he also realized that today, webby was going to give a speech during the duckburg foundation day, and he missed it, so he probably should stay spider for 1 more hour.

After another hour, Dewey starts Heading Home

Meanwhile Louie is recalling the past 2 months,”That party at glomgold’s, which ended in disaster, That moment with Lena, The truth about his parents, the shadow war, and now spider-man is a thing. This was all insane, and now Dewey keeps on going off for about 3-4 hours almost every day. I get that he’s Dewey, but this was all of a sudden”. Then the door opens and Dewey walks in,”where have you been” asked louie. “why does it matter”

“because you leave almost every day for 3 hours”

“I don’t question what you do on that phone”

“I thought i told you at the d-”

“after we found out what happened”

“Ok, i do go on my phone a lot”

“and I don’t ask what you do on that thing, for all i know you could be listening to the spider-man theme song (this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fapWxK7bDRU&list=PLEmWsjToJzcxsR255If_PLgjagXmRemas&index=12)

“Ok, you proved your point”

Dewey walks downstairs, wondering how to talk to Webby, he has been thinking about this for 2 months now and he still couldn’t tell her, and he is spider-man, why is he so afraid, he has been through worse, like that time the sky pirates raided duckburg, he was able to stop them, but maybe it was that he was in a mask, no one knows who spider-man is, but right now, he is Dewy Duck, but at this point, he is so scared to tell webby how he feels, his spidey sense registers her as a threat. And now his spidey sense was going off. “Hi Dewey”,said Webby

“oh....uh..hi webby”

“are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why would you ask me that”

“well, you have been distant recently”

“why would you say that?”

“about a week after that party, you didn’t talk to me much, and when i talk to you, you leave early, and you missed my speech, come on”

“(that wasn’t me being awkward, it was me being spider-man)”thought Dewey

“Whats going on, just be honest”

“(You have to tell her sometime, you cant do this forever, I know)”

“just tell me”

“meet me in to Forrest tomorrow, at 5 o clock”

“Ok”

The Next Day

“I figured out what these things are”,Said Gyro,”observe” Gyro grabs a hammer and breaks the blue amulet

“WHAT THE”, screamed Webby

“Relax, i know what I’m Doing, look whats inside”

“Looks like an over sized Fruity Pebble” Said Louie

“Close, its actually what i like to call an infinity stone,” Said Gyro,” I came up with the name”

“Pretty sure someone beat you to it”Said Dewey

“That’s not the point”said gyro,” these stones hold the universe together AND can control it, so basically its a scientific explanation for everything supernatural”

Huey, thrilled that there is a scientific explanation for magic, pulls out a pen and a notebook,”Go on”said Huey,

“well” said gyro” after a lot of research, i concluded that there is 6 stones in total, space, time, soul, mind, power, and reality”Gyro breaks the 3 other amulets,” magicas amulet had the reality stone, which is weird because its red, but the amulet is purple, anyways, the green one, is the time stone, purple stone is the power stone, and the blue one is the space stone”

When gyro mentioned the space stone, dewey felt a ting, but it wasn’t his spidey sense, it was as if he felt a connection with the stone

Gyro continued, and iv’e analyzed the stones, and found out that the stones are linked to certain people,specifically 4 of you (lena decided to tag along)

“what does that mean”asked Huey

“It means you can use the stone without an adapter, and not die, remember they control the universe, so they are very powerful”

“(if one of the stones is connected to me, why do i feel a connection with the space stone, i should technically have the power stone because i’m the only one with powers)” thought Dewey

After everyone left, he remembered that gyro did build an adapter to use the stones and not die, and louie wants to know what dewey does all the time, so he sneak in the lab, grabs the time stone, the adapter, and leaves.

“i just want to know”said louie

but since louie doesn’t know how to properly use an infinity stone, he rewinds to the moment when he was with lena (again, read this https://www.wattpad.com/613483635-reservation-for-four-epilogue) but louie just opened a window, and what he saw, he didn’t like what he saw, Lena deceived him, Louie walks out his room pushing past lena,” HEY”said Lena

“You know what you did 2 months ago”replied louie

Lena noticed that louie had the time stone in his hand, with the adapter on of course, and then she put 2 and 2 together, but louie was already gone

Meanwhile webby was in the forrest, waiting for dewey

“Webby”

webby turned around to see spider-man, but then he took off his mask

“DEWEY....you....are”

“spider-man, i know its crazy”

“When did you get powers’

“I think it was at the dance, which would explain a lot”

“So that’s why you are gone for most of the day”

“I guess”

“But that doesn’t explain why you are so nervous when you do talk to me”

“well..um.....its.......................because...........................i........................like................you”

“Really, thats why, how come you didn’t tell me sooner”

“well I wanted to for a while, but after that phase, then me being spider man- and have you tried telling your crush how you felt?”

“no because you told me first”

“wait-WHAT”

“i had a crush on you for a while now”

“So, do.......you.....want.....to, go out”

“of course, and you are spider ma-”

“SHHHHHH”

“oh, right”

at the lab

Dewey walks in, trying to figure out his connection with the space stone, so he focuses, and tries to connect to the stone, and it works, so Dewey tries to test out the stone, and he opened a portal to the forrest, and ho could go back, so he puts on the adapter on his wrist and places the stone on it, and he puts on his suit, and teleport-ed to the main part of the city. He loved it, This could Give him an advantage against his villains like doc ock, or Mark beaks in the “waddle” duck suit, or the sky pirates. This was amazing, so Dewey decides to show webby

“Are you sure about this”Asked Webby

“Please, i’m spider-Man, I think I can Handle this, I mean i could save a lot more people this way”

1 Week later

Louie,” stupid lena, taking advantage of me, and dewey wont tell me what he is doing all day, Wait, what if i got myself powers, then, i can get a gf,and show lena who is boss, YES”

Louie spots a serum labeled

Category:bio enhancer

Formula: GRN-GBL 1.3

Louie loads the serum into the injector, but accidentally puts his hand on the power stone which causes a reaction with the serum and his body, louie reaches for a suit and steps on a glider

Louie duck was now the green goblin and he wants revenge

The serum changed his plan, now he wants to kill lena, and get rid of spider man, and FORCE dewey to tell him what he has been doing all this time

Dewey is sitting in webbys room, everyone was aware that webby and Dewey are a couple, they were playing a board game, but then his spidey sense was tingling”GET DOWN”The wall blows up, but it was for lena, not dewey, Louie flies in with an electric staff,”REMEMBER ME”

“louie”said lena,”what happened”

“you happened, i remember what you did that night”

“That was when i was working for magica, now i do care for you”

“LIAR”

Louie hits lena with the electric sticks

“look who didn’t get their beauty sleep” Said spider-man/dewey

“Iv’e been looking for you”

“who isn’t, and also why”

“there can only be one special one here”

“Come on, lets dance”

“later we can fight, now i have to talk to someone”

1 day later

Lena had serious injuries, but the doctor said she will be fine, Everyone was confused on who the goblin is, and why he looked so familiar.

Dewey was sitting in his room, trying to figure out when goblin will strike next, that’s when Dewey's spidey sense was tingling, he was about to grab his suit, but Louie -goblin blew up the wall

“hey gobby, have you ever heard of a door”

“SHUT UP DEWEY, TELL ME, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THESE PAST FEW MONTHS”

“LOUIE”

“YES ITS ME NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION”

“I.....AM ......S”

Then out of nowhere, webby punches evil louie and he sees dewey use the web shooters, louie quickly puts 2 and 2 together and thinks of a plan

Later Spider-man was swinging around, then he sees goblin, he goes to confront his evil brother, after a long fight, goblin knows how to break him, he grabs webby from her hiding spot, and flies high up in the air, laughing of course, Dewey tries to use the space stone, but goblin was too fast for him, so he had to slingshot himself up there.

“Leave her out of this”Screamed Dewey

“Why, you are the one who has the glory, the girl, and no one is there to break you, and that’s where i come in”Said Louie

“What do you mean”

“I’m going to break you, by doing This”

Louie Dropped Webby, his friend, From the top of the money bin, Goblin was holding dewey back, so he used his webbing to grab her, but like in tasm 2, the momentum snapped her back. Webby was gone,

“NOOO”screamed dewey

Dewey immediately threw a punch, whit all of his strength, at louie, he was the evil triplet.

Dewey Stood there crying at webby, all of the adventures, the relationship, was gone.

1 week later

It was only a week but everyone knew spider-man was gone.

Dewey couldn’t believe it, he lost his girlfriend, his best friend, his brother, his father, and his mother. At least that’s what he thought on the last one (this next part is going to parody the deleted tasm 2 ending)Dewey was standing by webbys grave, and Behind dewey, was Della Duck

“Dewey” Said Della

Dewey turned around

“I don’t want to frighten you”Said Della,”*sight*

Della starts to walk towards Dewey

“Stay there, stay right there, don’t move” said dewey

“But I’d like to tell you a few things if that’s alright, i know this is impossible to understand Dewy, i thought i knew what to say but i don’t, I don’t know what to say to you except I’m sorry, I’ts me, I’s me Dewey I’m Sorry”

“You’re not my mother”

“I am your mother Dewey, now why dont you just listen to-”

“My MoThEr Is DeAD”

“Dewey listen to me”

ShE’s DeAd, WHO ARE YOU!”

“I had to disappear and I’m sorry understand that I had disappear to keep you saf- to keep you safe Like wha-”

“WHAT SAY IT, SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY, WHERE YOU BEEN, your dead”(Dewey's eyes start to fill with tears)

“I had to die to keep you alive, I had to disappear to keep you safe, listen listen to me, I had to disappear to keep my mistakes from catching up with you, I had to stay away to keep certain people from hurting you, do you understand What im saying, there was no other way to keep you safe, im so sorry”

Dewey runs into dellas arms, for the first time in his life, he gets to hug his mother. And then dewey starts crying. Dewey and Della Start walking, Talking, And that when dewey decided to ask

“why now, why’d you come back now?”

“Your father knew there would come a time in you life when you would need us more than anyone else, before he died, I promises that I’d be there for you no matter what, and that time came........I know what its like to lose everything you love, now we both speak for the dead, if you lose hope, the the glomgolds of the world really have won, then your father would have died for nothing, Webby would have died for nothing, I can’t come to terms with the world like that”

“I dont know........I dont Know how to go on without her”

“you don’t, take her with you,.....I’m not the same duck i used to be, i used to be arrogant enough to believe that it was my destiny to save people at one point, but after everything i did, to hide my work, only you and your brothers were able to find it, and i realize now maybe it wasn’t my destiny to save anything, its yours, with great power, comes great responsibility, i love you son”

Dewey went back to the mansion, Della said she will be there, now dewey was looking through photos of webby, then dewey decides to play webbys speech, The speech made dewey cry, he knew his destiny, his mother told him what it was, and he was going to fulfill it every day, until he dies,he looks down on his spider man lenses, its time, time for spider-man to return, the world needs dewey duck, nephew of scrooge mcduck, and he is spider man.

Meanwhile in duckberg, a person in a mechanical suit of armor is causing destruction, the police tried shooting at him, but he was loaded with machine guns.”I AM THE RHINO” Screamed the duck in the suit. That’s when an 8 year old duck in a spider-man cosplay suit walks out into the field. The officers stopped firing.

Officer,”kid you have to get-”

The rhino starts shooting at the officer to make him be quiet, but he missed the officer.

“LOOK DUCKBERG,”said the rhino,” SPIDER-MAN IS BACK”

the kid puts on the spider-man goggles and mouth cover (really just a piece of black cloth)

“brave boy huh, does the rhino scare you little boy”

The rhino starts walking closer, people are thinking that the boy is going to die, then THWIP..........THWIP. the rhino stops walking

“hey spider-man” said dewey

The boy turned around, he lifted the lenses off

“I knew you would come back”

“yeah, thanks for stepping up for me, you're the bravest kid I've ever seen, Im gonna take care of this jerk you go take care of your mom, okay”

Dewey fist bumps the kid, then the kid walks off

“YOU FIGHT ME,”Sid the rhino,” YOU FIGHT ME NOW”

“ON BEHALF OF THE FINE PEOPLE OF DUCKBERG AN REAL RHINOS EVERYWHERE, I DEMAND THAT YOU PUT YOUR MECHANIZED PAWS IN THE AIR”

Then the sinister six forms, Goblin, doc ock, waddle duck, the captain of the sky pirates, and glomgold in his own suit of armor, and there was the rhino.

“NEVER” they screamed,” WE WILL CRUSH YOU, WE WILL DESTROY YOU”

“YOU WANT ME TO COME DOWN THERE SO YOU ALL CAN KILL ME”

“YES” screamed the sinister six

“ILL BE RIGHT THERE”said dewey,”there’s no place like home”

The rhino launches 2 missiles at spider-man, but he uses the space stone to shield him, Then he jumps using a sewer lid as a shield, and hits the rhino with the sewer lid, this is where the tasm 2 film ended, but the story is not over, after knocking down the rhino, he knocks out beaks and glomgold, ties up doc ock, and webs up the sky pirates captain, and now, it was only him, and his brother, louie. And from a distance, della was watching her son fight his brother

“I thought i broke you”said louie

“you did, but I had some encouragement from mom” The two fight for a little bit

“No, she.....is ......dead”

“she is alive”

“LIAR, LYING IS WHAT GOT ME I THIS MESS, SO STOP IT”

That’s when louie sits there crying, he did all of this, hurt lena, kill webby, all for what, and that’s when dewey injected him with the goblin cure, louie looked normal again. But he wasn’t the same.

Louie sat in his jail cell, angry, he was definitely not getting any inheritance from scrooge. Then he received a letter, louie pulled out the note

dear Louie

Its me, Della, im alive, your father isn’t sadly, i saw your fight with your brother, and i heard the things you did this past week, im sorry i wasn’t there for you, i wanted to keep you safe. But evil still found a way into our family, it breaks my heart knowing you ended someones life, just because of something that happened in the past

im sorry

Della.D

Louie was angry, and full of regret, out of sadness, he punched a wall, a bit of the goblin serum was left in him. then he sat there crying.

Meanwhile at the mansion scrooge asked dewey where he was.”I was catching up with someone,”replied dewey, that’s when Della walked in. Della explained everything,and then Huey, scrooge, dewey went to hug Della. Meanwhile Lena sat in her room, she regretted having to do what she did she lost her best friend, and louie, she wants to go back in time and undo it all, but that’s not how life works. She went downstairs where dewey was going to make a confession.”The reason why i have disappeared is.......because im spider-man” everyone was shocked, but they were also proud of him, he saved a lot of people. Lena was standing there, she walked up to her room, dewey followed her.”you ok”asked the blue triplet.”No, it was my fault, i should have told louie-”

“that was then, this is now, we cant go back, believe me, im spider-man, but im still a kid”

“what do we do”

“we continue, dont let the past affect who you are now”

“thanks”

Dewey leaves, he knows he is spider-man and that was his destiny.

#tasm2 #ducktales #spiderman #spiderverse #debbigail #ducktalesspiderman

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mrneighbourlove · 5 years

Text

Monsters: Ch 2. Slithering Terror in the Dark

Klinge checked in on Miranda, who had apparently awaken. Finding her, he didn’t enter the room, simply hearing that she was a crying mess. The very young Dark Elf held onto Doctor Boveir. “Please don’t go! I don’t want to be left alone in the dark! I want my mother! Where’s my mother!!!”

"Miranda, calm down, it's not good for you to be so upset." Doctor Boveir was doing his best to soothe the poor girl. "I already told you that I won't blow out the candles, there's nothing to be afraid of. You're safe here."

“No! Monsters in the dark! Monsters! Please, please don’t go! I don’t want to be left alone. Please Mr. Boveir. P-please.” The tears streamed down her eyes as she refused to let go of him. Klinge crushed the door handle subconsciously and walked away. He brought her into this mess. He allowed her to be taken by that monster.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here, okay?" Doctor Boveir assured the terrified elf. "Look, I'm here tonight, along with three other nurses, all right? There's no monsters in the dark. Look around." He gestured to the medical bay, lit by candle light. "Now, you have multiple broken bones and you need to rest from your healing session."

Miranda sniffed, slowly letting go. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She tucked herself into bed, the tears only making her more tired.

"Now, now, there's no need to apologize." Doctor Boveir patted Miranda's head. "We all get scared sometimes. It's normal. Close those eyes, and try to sleep. If you need me, I'll be right here." Once the elf appeared to have drifted off into an exhausted slumber, the doctor placed another blanket on the sheets to keep her warm.

Only Miranda wasn’t talking to him. She lied in bed, staying awake for a while listening a praying she didn’t hear anything.

Doctor Boveir was doing his usual rounds and checking on patients. The darkness hid most due to the lack of light. Though Bonegrinder had his way of moving around Hyrule castle without being seen.

"Tiny snack... little elf... if you do not behave, you will lose more than just your life." Bonegrinder's voice came from within the wall behind her bed. "Would you like for the monster to go after your mother? Your friends? Eat them while you watch? You were warned not to traverse into the catacombs, but you did not listen. Tsk, tsk, stupid little elf..."

Miranda grew bug eyed, holding the sheets close to her and over her head. “No! Please. I-I’m sorry! I never should have gone near you. Please don’t hurt me or my mother. I’ll do whatever you ask. Please, please go away. Please I’m sorry.”

"Do you think apologizing is enough for what you did?" Bonegrinder scoffed. "You have alerted the undead commander to not only Bonegrinder's presence but those of the others in the catacombs. All because of your insistence when the prince ordered you to let it go... silly elf, don't you see now that the pretty prince was trying to protect you? And here, you doubted him, went behind his back to the undead tool. If he comes after Bonegrinder, those in Bonegrinder's home... then you will be the first to die, you stupid girl." The snake threatened. "Warn your commander to stay put or you will meet more monsters who Bonegrinder will gladly share your flesh with."

“No! NO! PLEASE MR BONEGRINDER!!! IM SORRY!!!” Miranda started to frantically scream and cry again. “This silly, stupid elf is yours! Please just don’t hurt me or my mother! PLEASE!!! Oh god have mercy, PLEASE!!!!!”

Doctor Boveir heard Miranda's frantic cries and rushed over to the elf.

"Miranda, Miranda, calm down! It's was just a bad dream, you're here, you're safe!" The doctor motioned for the nurses to come over to the bed as well. "There's no... no bone-monster here! There's nothing here! It was just a nightmare, there's no such thing as monsters."

“HE’S IN THE WALLS!!! OH GOD IM SORRY!!! PLEASE! I HAVE TO TELL RALNOR AND KLINGE I WAS WRONG!!! HE’S GOING TO EAT ME!!! CANT YOU HEAR HIM?!?!” Miranda frantically pushed against the doctors.

"Doctor, she must be hallucinating from the pain or the medication."

"Administer a stronger sedative and have a volunteer sit with her." Doctor Boveir ordered. "The girl is troubled mentally. We need to keep an eye on her." He then said with a frown. "And I need to have a talk with Commander Klinge about what happened. We cannot help until we know."

“NO! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!” Miranda bit one of the doctors hands as she attempted to run away. “Mother! I have to see my mother!”

Seeing Klinge watching from the end of the hallway she screamed at him. “Please don’t go after him! PLEASE!!!”

Her cries of lunacy and panic practically woke the castle. Klinge was glad he was wearing a helmet, because he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. “I’ll end him....”

"Oh good goddesses, someone sedate her, now!" Doctor Boveir had to pry the girl's mouth away from his hand and the nurse quickly gave her a shot to put her to sleep. Shaking his head, he was pissed that the girl was acting so erratic and speaking of monsters. What if she had some sort of poison in her system? What if it was a dangerous gas that she breathed? He had no answers and no idea how to treat her. "Commander Klinge!" Normally, Doctor Boveir was a calm guy and it took a lot to get him angry. "I want... no, I need some damn answers, right now! The girl is out of her mind! What happened?!"

Klinge stayed calm, a little bit of spite in his voice. “You can ask Prince Ralnor, though I’m sure he will simply tell you she’s insane. I think the King and Queen would love to know the truth as much as you.”

"... I don't have time for your mind games." The doctor dismissed Klinge's statement with a huff. "Speaking of monsters in the walls. It's bad enough the maids say the castle is haunted and now you're in on this prattle too. I don't know what this girl saw or what the devil happened when you two went into that tunnel of madness, and I have a feeling I'm not going to get a proper answer. Until she is completely better, both physically and mentally, she is not to return to her work. Is that clear?"

“And she won’t be better until I deal with her monster. You can tell the Prince, the King, and the Queen I no longer take their orders until the matter is dealt with. Now go take care of your patients doctor. Before you receive something far more strong than a bite from me.” Klinge wagged a finger of warning at the doctor before walking to Tulilaid and Kelly, who had arrived to investigate the commotion. “Captains. I have a special assignment for you.”

“Yes, Commander Klinge?”

Tulilad quickly brushed back his hair and tried to wipe off any lipstick evidence on his face that might have been left there by Kelly. Clearing his throat, he stood up straight and faced his superior. “What assignment?”

“….I need you to go on a grocery run. Cake needs a casing. Might be rats in the wall. The Queen wants to take a cruise ship out to sea.”

Kelly kept a straight face, with only a flinch of concern. This was special code used only for emergency situations. Klinge handed Tulilad as list. “I’m taking a holiday. Be good.”

Oh shit. Grocery run was a vital hush hush mission. The cake needing a casing was a VIP needing protection. Her eyes studied her surroundings. Rats meant a spy or something listening in. And the cruise ship meant taking a garrison to take someone far away from Hyrule for their own good. Klinge was really laying it on them. But it was the vacation that worried Kelly. It meant Klinge was going rogue on his own. Who knew how long. She and Tulilad had to get somewhere private and read the note.

The Undead filth was becoming a thorn in his side. The criminal heads, his ‘Hive’ as he called it, were bringing him multiple complaints. Evidently, this commander was declaring war on him and his brood for what happened. This was nothing new to the Anagari. Sooner or later, there would be a mistake. Then, he could take advantage of the situation. A man with revenge on his mind was liable to act irrationally. The second prince could not control the undead like a puppet, despite Bonegrinder’s insistence that he be kept on a leash. Still, it was not Ralnor’s fault that Klinge would not behave. The prince was too soft to use necromancy magic to keep the bag of rotted flesh under his thumb. So Bonegrinder waited patiently, listening and watching… until every person was in place.

As the Hive gathered, Sheer-Kahn trotted in. He was an old and ancient creature. With four hooves he walked with a clack of every step. His upper body had two powerful arms for carrying his weapons of choice, a massive sharpened club and a bow that shot arrows the size of small tortoises. His main was silvery white, with a grey body. He was a Lynel.

In times much older, he might have been King here. But Hyrule’s darkest corners now held creatures far more adaptive then him. As powerful as he was, not even he could move an immovable object. He took his place and waited patiently. Here, his code name was Hades. For if anyone sought death by angering his master, he’d send them to the Underworld.

“Sheer-Kahn… my loyal friend, my trusted warrior.” Bonegrinder motioned for the Lynel to come into his personal chambers. He had the deeper sections of the catacombs suited for living. No one under his command wanted anything more than they needed. Every need and want was catered to within reasonable request. One thing was for sure, Bonegrinder took care of those who were loyal to him. Certain areas were nothing short of luxurious, despite being underground. The Anagari took a slow inhale of his pipe and let the smoke float out of his nostrils. “The undead filth has been a thorn in our garden for quite some time now, hasn’t he?”

Sheer-Kahn nodded. “More so now that he has discovered your presence. He’s always taken care to destroy the criminal element that has been created by you, even if only unintentional and previously unknown to your presence, simply because it is ‘the right thing to do’. Now he’s targeting the infrastructure himself.”

“He doesn’t realize that what we do effects not just our brood, but those under us, those we take care of, the rejects no one wants.” Bonegrinder’s underground empire was ran to benefit some of Hyrule’s most unfortunate. Those who had nowhere else to go, came to the Hive for a home. However, Bonegrinder ran the underground organization like a tight ship. There was no room for error. A threat to him was threat to all under his command. If Klinge wanted to play dirty, then he could do so as well. “This old snake won’t have the others suffering because of it. The three he keeps close to him… the half breed, the kid elf, and the small guard. We need to bring them here.”

“They are in the heart of the castle. That could prove to be difficult.” Sheer-Kahn took a bow. “But nothing is below me. What would you have me do?”

“If the little elf is taken… the others will follow.” Bonegrinder slithered up to Sheer-Kahn, his claws holding up the Lynel’s chin. “You are strength and might incarnate, trusted friend. Nothing you put your mind to will ever fail. Though it is not unnecessary to ask for help when it is needed.” He then gestured to the figures in the dark. “Morowa and Negasi will accompany you if you wish it?”

Sheer-Kahn thought it over. Klinge needed to be distracted and taken away from the castle. Hades’ existence could not be made publicly known to the general population, so he couldn’t enter the castle, but he could take Klinge’s attention away. “Will you listen to my plan my friend?”

“Of course.” Bonegrinder offered the Lynel a pipe while he listened. When he was done explaining, Bonegrinder smiled wildly in content.

#Monsters #Klinge #Mirnada #Kelly #Tulilad #Boveir #Bonegrinder #Anagari #Sheer-Khan #Lynel #For #S-Kinally #Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #comments appriciated

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lusilly · 7 years

Text

out of the woods

I realized I’ve never actually written Damian and Iris’s first kiss, so :)

this is all in canon with Earth-28

“What travels all around the world, but always stays in the corner?”

“A stamp.”

“The poor have me. The rich need me. What am I?”

“Nothing.”

“What, if you put it in a barrel, will make the barrel lighter?”

Damian hesitated, then frowned. “A – lower caliber bullet?” His father cocked an eyebrow, and the penny dropped. “Oh,” he said. “Not that kind of barrel. A hole.”

“Forward,” began Bruce, “I am heavy. Backwards, I am not. What am I?”

“A ton,” said Damian.

“What kind of flowers grow on your face?”

“Tulips,” Damian said, “but that one’s dumb.”

“You have one match,” Bruce instructed him, tone very serious. “You enter a room in which there is a kerosene lamp, an oil burner, and a wood burning stove. Which do you light first?”

“The match,” answered Damian.

At this, Bruce finally gave an approving nod. He typed something in the computer, apparently distracted, as Damian finished tugging on his gloves. “A man is found dead on the beach next to a rock,” said Bruce; Damian turned to watch his father, listening. “The rock was the cause of death, but never physically touched him. How did he die?”

“He’s Superman,” said Damian, without skipping a beat. “The rock is Kryptonite. Which is actually carcinogenic to any creature, but I suppose for the sake of the riddle it has to be someone who’d die of Kryptonite exposure relatively quickly.”

“Good,” Bruce said, without turning from the screen. “How far can you run into the woods?”

There was a moment’s pause. Damian blinked at his father. “Is that it?” he asked.

“That’s it,” Bruce replied. “How far can you run into the woods?”

Damian took a long breath, considering this. His brow was knit in concentration. “The entire way through?”

“No.”

“As far as you can?”

“No.”

“As far as I can?”

“No.”

There was another short silence as Damian wracked his brain. “Is this one of those, when are the woods not the woods? sort of riddles?

“No,” answered Bruce. “It’s very straightforward.”

“How far can you run into the woods?”

Bruce nodded. “How far can you run into the woods.”

Damian made a noise. “Hm. Can I think on it?”

Resuming his usual work on the computer, Bruce said, “Though that isn’t usually protocol in the field, I know you’re running late, so I’ll excuse you just this once.”

Pressing his domino mask across his face, Damian headed down the steps from the computer hub down to the garage below. “Thanks,” he called. “I’ll have it figured out by the time I get back on Monday.”

Raising his voice to be heard as Damian headed away from him, Bruce called, “I thought we agreed Sunday night?”

“Alfred said Monday was fine if I checked in.”

Begrudgingly, Bruce stopped himself from protesting this. He’d have a conversation with Alfred later. “Be careful,” he called, as a small light on his computer screen informed him Damian was getting into the personal jet. “Have fun.”

The comm inside the jet’s cockpit picked up Damian’s reply, playing it directly out of the computer speakers. “How far can you run into the woods?” he repeated, apparently ignoring his father’s farewell. “Suppose I’ll have to find out, hm?”

The engine roared. A few minutes later, Damian was gone. Bruce sat alone in the empty cave. It was good that Damian was gone more often, spending more time with the Titans, but it also had the odd effect of making the Cave and the Manor itself feel bigger, emptier. Lonelier.

On the flight to Titans Tower, Damian checked in with the rest of his team.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” he demanded.

Lian Harper let out a frustrated sigh. “I mean I’m not coming, I have a family thing.”

“Is it a mission?”

“No, it’s not a mission, it’s a family thing.”

“What kind of-?”

“Oh, right,” said Lian, cutting him off, “I’m sorry Robin, I forgot all of your meaningful familial engagements are missions, my bad.”

This was true enough that Damian didn’t feel particularly cut by it, so he just began cautiously, “Arsenal, I thought we were doing training this weekend.”

“It’s not like I’m stopping you. You know you can actually train without me, right?” Then she added, “And without Sin either, she happens to be in my family so she’s also gotta go to the family thing.”

“You and Sin are our best hand-to-hand combatants. What am I supposed to do without either of you to spar against?”

“Go toe-to-toe with a Kryptonian? Wait, take a video, I want to see Superboy beating the hell out of you.”

Chris wasn’t coming this weekend either, which Damian knew because Superman had reached out to his father to let him know that he would be taking some time off for what Damian’s father had called medical leave, but that didn’t sound right to Damian. He knew that Chris had been having some trouble adapting to working in a group, and suspected that maybe he needed some time to decompress, or something. There was something a little off about Chris which Damian couldn’t quite figure out yet, but Chris was surprisingly bad at leadership for being the son of Superman, and awfully quiet in a crowd, and even had difficulty maintaining eye contact for too long. Though Damian didn’t want to pry – he hated the idea of the others noticing his own problems and trying to piece together the illness that haunted him –he was also terribly curious.

Either way, Damian didn’t mention anything about Chris to Lian. Instead he just ended the call, then hesitated, then opened another line on his commlink.

“GL,” he said. There was nothing. “Green Lantern, come in.”

A couple minutes later, he received a text on his encrypted personal phone. Cant pick up Im in civvies.

He texted her back. Are you coming this weekend?

No I cant, read her reply, not much later. Its my quince

Damian didn’t know what quince meant other than fifteen in Spanish, so he didn’t reply. Instead he thought briefly of trying to get a hold of Maxy, but her parents didn’t allow her to spend the night on her own yet anyway, so that seemed kind of pointless.

Jai West also rarely spend the night at Titans Tower, but he was the only other person left that Damian could think of, and he was starting to feel a little desperate.

“Jai,” he said at once, when the line picked up. “How are you?”

On the other end, Jai sounded confused. “Robin? Why are you calling me?”

Tactful as ever. “I thought we were meeting at the Tower this weekend, but it seems things will be awfully quiet. I was wondering if you planned on coming?”

“Um, no. I have to do homework.”

“And you couldn’t do it at the Tower?”

“Not really, because usually you guys all have to rush out at once to do a mission or something, and I’m not a big fan of the way the giant T-shaped tower is basically a supervillain magnet.”

This was more or less fair. “Well, I’ll be there if you do decide to stop by.”

“OK,” said Jai. “I think Irey’s already there anyway, so I don’t really have a ride.”

Something dropped into the pit of Damian’s stomach. “I see,” he said. “Well, let me know if you’d like to come. I can always pick you up.”

“Okey-doke. Hey, maybe next weekend.”

“Maybe next weekend,” Damian agreed. “Goodnight, then.”

“’Bye, Robin.”

The jet continued to race through the sky, chasing the setting sun. Below him, he could see a great rolling forest splayed across the landscape. How far can you run into the woods? As far as you could walk, just faster?

He slowed his pace as he reached Titans Tower, circling three times, then landing beneath the Bay. Maybe he wouldn’t stay the entire weekend; but then again, the earlier he left, the sooner he’d have to come up with the answer to his father’s riddle. It seemed frustratingly impossible at the moment, but perhaps the frustration was mostly just a redirection from something else.

So he exited the jet and headed up into the Tower itself with a heavy, roiling feeling in his stomach, nervous and unwell.

Recently, for what was the fifth time since he’d started taking medication, he’d had a change in dosage; after a month or so on his previous meds, his anxiety had gotten so bad he’d barely been able to spend time with the Titans at all, even though he had categorically refused to admit this to his father. But biweekly appointments with a therapist meant that these things were caught earlier rather than later, and now here he was, trying a different cocktail of medication to see if the side effects would be more tolerable this time.

Damian felt like a living economics experiment, an exercise in pareto efficiency: what was the optimal combination to make the symptoms of his OCD better off without making at least one other side effect worse off? At least in economics one could always solve dilemmas like these with a charts and tables and numbers. Nothing was that uncomplex for Damian.

But at least the anxiety in the pit of his stomach wasn’t paralyzing as he headed up to the main level of the Tower. The big television, which took up nearly an entire wall, was on when Damian stepped out of the elevator.

A girl popped her head over the couch. “Robin!” she said, sounding a little surprised. “I didn’t know if you were coming!” She laughed, leaning over the back of the couch. “I kind of thought I’d have the Tower to myself tonight. But this is cool, that’d be boring anyway.”

Damian stood awkwardly by the elevator. “Impulse,” he said. She was not wearing her uniform, and her curly hair was big and surrounded her head like a halo, instead of in her usual braids. He suddenly felt very stupid, standing there in his full uniform and mask. “I…didn’t realize you were here already.”

This was a lie, but his mouth was suddenly dry and he had to come up with something to say to avoid sounding stupid. Iris just grinned at him.

She pointed back at the TV screen. “You want to watch?” she asked. “It’s kind of boring, but Lian got me addicted.”

“I have some training to do,” Damian blurted out.

“Oh,” she said. “OK. Well, I’ll be here.”

There was a momentary pause. Iris didn’t turn away, just watched him expectantly. “I…suppose I could put it off a little,” he said, finally. She beamed at him, her face lighting up. “Watching television doesn’t appear to require the uniform, though,” he added. “I’ll go change.”

“It’s OK,” said Iris quickly. “I like the costume! It’s nice.”

If she, too, blushed, Damian didn’t catch it. While he tried furiously not to look her in the eye, she let out a little laugh. In the blink of an eye, she appeared before him, running so fast it could’ve been teleportation.

Without hesitating, she reached out and gently peeled at the corner of his domino mask, tugging it off his skin. Despite himself, he let her.

“You’re good,” she told him, crossing her arms as if appraising him like a piece of art. “It’s weird when you leave the mask on, but I don’t mind everything else if you don’t mind it.”

She was very close to him. He reached out and snatched his mask back from her, then rubbed at his left eye, then caught himself and stopped. “Maybe I do mind.”

“Maybe you don’t,” she countered.

She flickered again, then reappeared at the couch. “Come watch with me?” she asked, glancing back at him from over the couch’s back.

He hesitated another moment, then he let out a long breath and set aside his mask. He took off his cape, then his gloves, then his boots, and then he joined Iris on the couch. He sat at the opposite side, transparently as far away from her as possible.

“What is this?” he asked, watching the screen.

“Kay-you-double-you-tee-kay,” Iris replied. When he glanced at her, she grinned at him and then clarified, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Do you know the Kardashians? I feel like your dad’s famous enough that odds are good you’ve run into them at some point.”

Damian looked back towards the screen. “I don’t know the Kardashians,” he said, watching whatever reality TV drama was going down. “I don’t even know who they are.”

“Consider yourself lucky,” Iris told him, throwing a nice embroidered pillow at him. “They’re really annoying.”

“Why do you watch the show, then?”

She shrugged. “Guilty pleasure.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching TV. Iris was also on her phone, scrolling through something, playing a game; she could never focus on one thing for too long. Damian, on the other hand, found the show somewhat riveting, but couldn’t really get into it because he was acutely aware of the fact that Iris was sitting a mere few feet away from him.

An episode and a half passed. Damian glanced at Iris. She was typing something into her phone, probably texting someone. There was a smile on her face.

He rubbed at his eye, then stopped it. “I talked to your brother,” he said, all of the sudden. “He said he had homework to finish, or something?”

Iris glanced up. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “My mom’s been sort of training him on xenophysics lately. It’s cool.”

“Just him? Not you?”

With a smile that was almost apologetic, Iris explained, “I kind of got bored after she explained it the first time. He’s learning all the numbers and stuff, I don’t really need that.”

“Why not?”

She looked back to her phone. “’Cause I get it already,” she said mildly. “Most people need math and stuff to understand things like that, so they can kind of work it out step by step. When you’re as fast as I am it’s like explanations like that are moving in slow motion. I get it. I don’t need to go backwards.”

Damian found this fascinating. He watched her, a gentle frown on his face. “So you don’t need to understand the equation,” he began, thoughtfully, “if you already understand the answer.”

At this, she looked up, and actually lowered her phone to her lap. “Yeah,” she said. “Basically.”

He nodded. “I can relate. My friend Colin, he’s our age,” he remembered Iris’s weird rapid-aging phenomenon and corrected, “my age – I’ve been tutoring him in chemistry. It’s basic stuff but sometimes it gets very difficult to explain, because it’s like,” he paused, searching for the right way to express this, “it’s like – there, that is the answer, obviously, but then he asks how I got there and I can’t really tell him.”

Iris’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!” she said, nodding. “Exactly! Like, I don’t know how I know that but I just know it.”

There was an awkward sort of silence. On the TV, Kim gave a tearful confession. Damian asked, casually, “So you don’t have any homework to take care of while you’re here?”

“No,” answered Iris, shaking her head. “I have a couple assignments but I can do them on Sunday. How ‘bout you?”

“I have an assignment too,” Damian said, thinking of the riddle. “But I don’t need to get it done right away.”

Iris cocked an eyebrow at him. “Do you go to school?”

“No,” he said. “Homeschooled. You?”

She shook her head. “Same. I was in middle school with Jai for a little bit but I couldn’t make it through classes. Too boring.”

Damian, who had never been in a traditional classroom and therefore couldn’t relate, just sort of nodded at this. The TV show droned on before them, but it was quickly growing old, so Damian offered, “Would you like to…go over some case files? Maybe we can identify our next mission before it falls into our lap.”

Iris looked at him brightly. “That could be fun,” he said. “Everyone else might want a say, though.”

Damian shrugged. “They’re not here,” he said simply.

For a second, she just watched him with something almost like suspicion in her eyes. Then a smile stole across her lips. “I guess so,” she said. “C’mon.” She was instantly on her feet, across the room, at the door. “Let’s go.”

When she began heading down towards the computer hub, Damian instead took her by the hand and pulled her in another direction. As soon as he realized what he was doing, heat rose suddenly to his face and he let go of her; embarrassed, he did not glance around to see her face. If he had, he might’ve seen she was smiling.

“My, uh,” he cleared his throat, “database on the computer downstairs is better. It’s got all of Batman’s files, so it’s more detailed.”

“All of Batman’s files?” asked Iris. If she was faking impressed, Damian couldn’t tell. “Wow.”

They went downstairs, to where Damian had an entire floor of the Tower to himself. Milagro liked to make fun of him for it, but he needed the room for his own tech and uniform and computer and also for his personal space.

There was only one seat before his massive computer downstairs, itself a smaller version of the Batcomputer in the Cave. He insisted that Iris take it, then giggled at him. “What a gentleman,” she said, amused. “You can always sit on my lap if you get tired of standing.”

He fought the blush rising to his cheeks.

Together they scrolled through the list of active cases, focusing in their particular area. “Looks like Green Arrow and the rest of his team take care of the worst missions up here,” said Damian, gesturing to a swath of dots on the map which represented completed missions. “That must be what they’re doing this weekend.”

“This weekend?” echoed Iris doubtfully. “I don’t think GA’s taking any missions this weekend.”

Damian raised an eyebrow at her. “I heard otherwise from Arsenal.”

Iris blinked at him, then she took her phone out of her pocket, scrolling through her texts. “Hold on,” she said. “I swore Lian said she was doing that marathon thing tomorrow.”

“Marathon?” echoed Damian, leaning over Iris’s shoulder, looking at her phone. There were an awful lot of heart emojis in her texts to Lian. “What marathon?”

“The AIDS one,” she said, then, triumphantly, she turned her phone around to show him the screen. “Yeah, the Star City AIDS Walk. Her family does it every year.”

Frowning at the phone, Damian reached out instinctually to take it – Iris pulled it away sharply, grinning at him. “AIDS Walk?” he asked, confused. “Why would they do that?”

“Um,” began Iris, “because it’s a charity and the Queen family are like the biggest philanthropists this side of Gotham City, obviously.” She poked him in the side then added, “You’re telling me your dad doesn’t do marathons for charity?”

“No,” answered Damian honestly. “No marathons or triathlons.”

The light of the computer screen lit up Iris’s face harshly as she gave him a confused look. “That’s…really specific?”

“In my family,” Damian explained, “we’re not supposed to do anything which might publicly draw attention to our…” he paused, searching for the right words, “atypical level of physical fitness.”

“What?” asked Iris, scandalized. “The public isn’t even allowed to know you’re hot?”

Despite himself, a smile tugged its way onto Damian’s lips. He leaned against the computer panel. “I’m afraid not,” he told her, almost ruefully. “So, if you could keep that between us…”

She laughed at him. Something glinted in her eyes and though Damian could not quite identify what it was, he liked it. A lot.

“Between us,” she echoed, watching him. “Sounds like a nice place.”

There was a short, loaded silence.

Then, before Damian could blink, she disappeared. A moment later she was back, this time sitting before the couch, laying a deck of cards down on a low coffee table before it. Without glancing up at him, she called, “You wanna play a game?”

He went around to the other side of the coffee table, then lowered himself to the ground. “Poker?”

“I was thinking Go Fish,” she replied, shuffling the deck.

“Go what?”

Iris stopped short and looked up at him. For a second she said nothing, then she narrowed her eyes and leaned forward across the table. Disbelievingly, she asked, “You don’t know what Go Fish is?”

“No,” he answered, truthfully. “Should I?”

A look of concern on her face, she watched him for a second. Then she asked, “How about War?”

“About what?”

“Rummy?”

He shook his head. “I know Solitaire,” he offered.

“What about Bullshit?” she asked him, with narrowed eyes. “Have you ever heard of that?”

This made him hesitate. “I mean – the term generally? Because if so then yes.”

“It’s a game,” she said, then she started the split the cards between them. “I’ll teach you.”

She did teach him; it was a fun game, if only because Damian appeared to be so calm and cool all the time that Iris started calling bullshit on every set of cards he laid down, so it didn’t take long for him to win. They played again. This time Iris called every one of his hands correctly, while he was only right about half of hers. She won.

Once the game was over, he asked her admiringly, “How did you do that? You can’t possibly have decoded my mannerisms that quickly.”

She grinned at him. So fast she seemed not to move at all, she collected every one of the cards – including those in his hand – and stacked them in a neat pile on the table.

“I cheated,” she said.

They got bored of card games quickly, and after poking through some potential missions they got bored of that too. Iris asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, and he said yes even though he didn’t really want to. She made some popcorn as he scrolled through Netflix. “We should get a pizza,” she called, standing at the microwave waiting for the popcorn. “No! Some Chinese food. I can just run out and get it, they don’t need to deliver it all the way here. Actually,” she said thoughtfully, tapping her chin, “I could go run out and get any food. What do you feel like, Robin?” she asked him. “Chicken nuggets?”

“You can call me Damian,” he called in reply.

She stopped, looking at him.

He glanced back at her, then he gestured around them. “There’s nobody here,” he said. “You don’t need to call me Robin. We’re not in uniform.”

“You are,” she pointed out.

He pointed to his face, the missing mask. “Not in full uniform, anyway.”

There was a beat of silence. Then she asked, “No on the chicken nuggets?”

As he took a seat on the couch, he told her, “I don’t eat meat. But you should get some if you want some.”

“No meat?” The microwave beeped. She took it out of the microwave and dumped it into a bowl, then went over to the couch. Without hesitation, she sat right next to Damian, close enough that the side of their legs touched. “Maybe pizza then,” she said, matter-of-factly. “But maybe later.”

She offered him the bowl of popcorn. He was extremely uncomfortable, and his stomach kind of hurt, so he declined.

When Damian started to play the movie he’d chosen, Iris let out a whine. “Really?” she asked. “A black-and-white movie? How old is this?”

Indignantly, Damian replied, “It’s a classic!” which he only knew because he’d found it under the Classics section on Netflix.

“It’s boring.” Iris threw a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “I’m gonna fall asleep.”

Something was screaming inside Damian’s head, but he tried to ignore it. He summoned up all the courage in his little fifteen-year-old body, the kind of courage that allowed him to jump off buildings and bridges and face goons with automatic weapons without blinking – and he moved his arm up, and he slid it around Iris’s shoulders.

Without looking away from the TV screen, he murmured, “That’d be OK.”

There was a tense second, and then Iris sort of settled against his arm. She held the bowl of popcorn in her lap and tried to lean her head against his shoulder but she was a little too tall; so she scooted down in her seat a little, and tried again. This time it worked.

The whole movie Damian’s pulse was elevated, which he wondered if she could feel. It was a weird feeling, a sort of buzzing in his head and a simultaneous sort of quiet, a focus, something that he really really liked despite the fact that it made him feel really uncomfortable.

She finished the popcorn, then put the bowl aside. “Damian,” she said, for the very first time, tasting the name in her mouth. It didn’t feel right, didn’t suit him the way Robin did.

He glanced at her. She lifted her hand and with two fingers turned his face towards her so she could see him better. Her eyes roved across his face, searching through his gaze and his sharp brow and down to the gentle curve of his nose and the width of his mouth. She liked him better without the mask, she decided. She liked seeing his eyes, as dark a brown as her own.

While she looked at him, he clenched his jaw. His brain felt like it was short-circuiting a little bit: he couldn’t think of anything to say.

Something popped up spontaneously, something he’d been turning over and over in his mind again and again, repetitively, obsessively, since leaving home earlier that evening. It spilled from his mouth before he could think about it, before he could consider if it made any sense or if it didn’t fit the moment or if it was going to interrupt whatever was happening right now.

It came out just as Iris leaned in, like a physical block between their faces, because if what Damian thought was happening was actually happening he wasn’t sure if he could do it without something bad happening, though he didn’t know what. The nebulousness of the thought scared him, the uncertainty principle, the potential chaotic motion of the double rod pendulum of himself.

“Iris,” he said, arresting the moment; in surprise and a little bit of shock at hearing him use her name for the first time, she stopped. He let out a silent but shaky breath. “How far,” he asked, “can you run into the woods?”

She stared at him.

Unhelpfully, he clarified, “It’s – a riddle.”

She didn’t say, “Oh,” or make any other indication of confusion. She just looked at him thoughtfully, then away from him for a moment. Then she met his gaze once more, and she smiled

“Halfway,” she answered. He stared at her, his brow knit. “You can only run halfway in,” she explained, “then you start running out.”

She grinned. Before them, the black-and-white movie continued to play, a rush of music rising to crescendo as the characters onscreen shared their first kiss.

#damian wayne #iris west #irey west #earth 28 #this is a decent start and it's kind of changing the way i'd always assumed their first kiss went #cuz when i was a young'un i was like Ya Confidence Sexy Theyre So Sure Of Themselves Ha Ha Ha #but as a semi-grown person im like.......they were 15 they knew Nothing

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themightylorax · 7 years

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I have a lot of complicated thoughts on 13 Reasons Why

And I think the majority of them stem from me knowing the direction the showrunners where aiming for, and while I can view it that way I know other may (and do) not

I want to start off by saying I watched this show slowly. I am not sure if that changed my opinion on how I viewed it but the show must of been out a week or more before I even put on the first episode, then I watched one or two episodes per day. Much like Clay I couldn’t rush through, find out what happened, I had to take it slowly and digest, which may affect how I view somethings as well, but enough of this lets get into this. I am going to try to start off with the good then go into the bad, but hey I am more so rambling than anything so be prepared for anything.

I want to start off by saying the acting and cinematography choices for this show were amazing. I love how during flashbacks everything was so full of colour but when in the present everything was dulled.I feel it fit with the mood of the show especially as it was from those living perspectives. I am unsure if anyone reading this is familiar with personal loss but I am. The first death I remember was my aunt when I was about 5. I remember trying to go to her funeral but I started crying uncontrollably so I went across the street to where a few of the younger cousins where being watched. I have also experienced death a number of times since then. I think that is both the bad and good thing about having a large family, you lose many people and that hurts, but you also learn early what death does to those left behind. I think that is what helped me when I was depressed, when I wished I could die. I knew that it would cause pain, I knew that this was stupid and life was only difficult for the time being, that I had a chemical imbalance telling me that it would be better off without me, but because of the logical part of my brain knew death, I was able to know it was a stupid idea.

That kind of brings me to another point I enjoyed was it did not shy away from the Bakers pain. Throughout the show they are shown to be in constant pain. They lost their child and the world is still spinning on without her. Mrs. Baker is shown to break down multiple times and I feel like this is important. A lot of time depressed people feel that their friends and family would be better off without the burden of them. That by existing they are bringing their loved ones down and they would be happier without them, but this shows that is not the case. The Bakers are in constant pain because of Hannah’s actions, they loved her deeply and when they found her in the tub, Mrs. Bakers “Oh” and completely shock then denial of what she was seeing, Mr. Bakers total breakdown, I feel like it real drives home what happens to those people you care about after you die. This is not me saying you have to live for those you care about, you have to live for you, that is the most important thing to remember, but it is just me trying to bring back how depressed people think others will be better off without them, and how wrong that line of thought is.

This is where things start to go a bit grey. I wanted to start off how I love how they showed Alex’s own depression so the audience thinking back could clearly see the signs but then i thought, they never said he was depressed and the ending makes it hard for those not familiar with the signs of depression to realize this. Alex was clearly taking the tapes hard and tie that with his moodswings, his violent behaviour, his recklessness while driving and drinking, and finally the cleaning of his room are all signs of people servely depressed and complimenting suicide, and when he was hospitalized for a gun shot wound to the head that should of been clear, but the scene Tyler and his guns have people believe Tyler tried to kill him. I believe Tyler is a different story (why he is collecting those guns has been speculated on which I will get into later) and this scene of a collection of guns takes away from the clear signs of a depressed person calling out for help.

Which leads me into the show not using the word depression once? I could be wrong but I can not remember them using it, and with a show that is trying to get the point across that suicide should not be and option and to be nicer to people it really doesn’t do much to try to help people identify these signs of depression. Depressed people for the most part want you to notice they are not fine. They may say they are but they want you to notice they are not, for you to say “Not you are not fine” when they tell you are. They want your help. And this show didn’t help identify the signs unless you already knew them. As I said I loved how is showed Alexs exhaustion, and anger and his depression over the whole event, but nobody else in the show noticed, and it almost (could still) cost another kid their life because no one is noticing these signs.

This is an incredibly grey area and it is the depictions of rape and suicide. The showrunners were obviously trying to make the audience uncomfortable which is a good angle to go with. Rape is suppose to be uncomfortable and horrible and bad. It showed how it is rape if she can’t consent, and it is rape if she doesn’t say no. It showed how the rape broke Hannah, you could see her go dead inside at that moment and I think it is incredibly important to show the implications of that, seeing some people will say “They didn’t say no so it can’t be rape”. It is good to show them yes, yes it is and this is what you are doing to this person. It is good to show that sex isn’t all good times and orgasms but rape happens and this is what it does and how horrible it is. It is good it proves this, but it is also a conversational topic especially when it can be triggering (though they did put a content warning before those episodes so that is good). As for the suicide I also see the show runners desired effect,to make people uncomfortable, to show suicide is painful and you cant fix it. That is how I watched it, but I can understand points of it showing how to kill yourself, which with teens as a main audience could be a problem.

The open ending of the show also really bugs me. I havent read the book, so I do not know if things play out the same but the attempted suicide of Alex, the what seems to be the preparing of a school shooting from Tyler, they are both meant to leave the possibility of a second season that a show like this doesn’t need. This show was about 13 Reasons Why for Hannah Baker. Why Hannah Baker felt like her life was so horrible she could not live anymore. It was her story and I think it should of ended with her. There are other books that can be adapted if Netflix wants to do a school shooting story (I read 19 minutes a while ago and that one could probably work) but that is an incredibly loaded topic that has to be handled with care and I would hope they would do it better than they handled this story of suicide.

So last point, I probably missed a bunch of shit but whatever.

What Hannah went through was absolutely horrible, but her leaving tapes for people essentially telling them they killed her was really fucked up. I do not know if that was Hannah’s intention, to say you are the reason I killed myself, but it definitely paints that picture. She was listing 13 Reasons Why her life got so bad that she killed herself, then sent those tapes to another bunch of teenagers, most of who just made a bad mistake. They did something stupid, which teenagers do, and to be told that by a dead kill they are a reason her life got so bad that she ended her life? That is incredibly manipulative and it definitely had an incredibly negative effect on Alex. Here is the thing, no one killed Hannah Baker but Hannah Baker. The show tries to be insightful with Clays “maybe if we were all a little nicer” but that doesn’t mean shit. Yes, people have to be nicer to people, yes your actions have effects on people, but no one killed Hannah but herself, and it is incredibly dangerous to suggest otherwise.

#13 reasons why #listen there is a bit of negitivety about the show in here so dont read if you dont want that #i mainly wrote this for a friend to express my feelings on the show to her

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laforetdesconnectesblog-blog · 5 years

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8 steps of being through winter. Essay on pain and resilience. Experiencing through another specie, pain, patience and the cold gap between death and life when it comes to cross an ocean with the force of your wings.

One, the last ray of sun.

The last rays of sunshine are now less and less warm.The small herbs will support the isothermic coat of snow during minimum three months until the thaw, in the end of february.

From now on the temperatures will get lower and lower and immerse slowly the small herbs in a deep somnolence.They're preparing for the long night.

My eyes are capturing this moment. <o> <O>

I saw you,

going away from me.

I understood before you left that you'll disappear and that I'll have to cross the long night alone.We're starting to fly now.

Two, the pain.

The worst ennemy of plants, that will lead them to death, is the freeze.

It bites and kills them almost instantly. Some of the plants won't survive the first waves of freeze.The comb plunges it’s teeth deep in my flesh.

My highest fight is now on.

I reached the peak and I can’t see the sky, I'm immersed in it. I can't think, I can't feel anymore. I feel an urge that penetrates every inch of my body and contaminates what’s surrounding it. All the blood in my body drives through this suffering and warms my flesh, preparing a heat defense.

Resisting to death feels almost like accepting it and let the forces of your environment drives the fight for you.

Three, the silence.

The worms and the soil are decomposing some of us now.

What is mainly present is the deep, long, eternal silence.

The cruise rythm is installed and our bodies are plunged in a trance state between conscious and unconscious.The first big snows felt down and have covered the ground with a big white coat.

Everything seems so peaceful now and the violences of changes are just behind us.

During the silence, the echos disappeared, and we are living together with the beats of our hearts in this tunnel.

The distances seems like impassable walls, even if we're next to each others. Underneath, underneath soil, stones, foundations, remains the first sources that one day created the tsunamis that created life.

We can't barely hear them now. Maybe because they're moving silently far away in other worlds, maybe also because we're plunging in a comatous state, trying to keep our vital organs alive.

Four, the night.

The distance between the stars and me seems so wide now. I'm moving my wings but it almost feel like nothing comparing to the hurt of the beginning. Somewhere, maybe in my stomach, maybe in my lungs, I can feel the particules of life are still alive. I know I'm not dead.

I feel lost in a wide arctic polar night. I have the tiny intuition that my brothers and sisters are around me, but somehow we're all alone now lost is this gigantic sea of nothing where everything seems to be there, waiting for us since billions of years watching us with icy shiny eyes.

My body is stuck in my mechanical moves to survive and stay alive, but still inside, I can start to feel the fear. And I know that If I get anxious, my body will wake up from this trance too fast and I can die. I can see my mother, my beautiful mother dancing in the dark sky in graceful moves, being part of this tableau since forever. Every single part of her body breathe in interaction with the particules of the sky. But I'm scared, and from now on I’m losing my energy.

When is it going to be finished ?

Five, the echo .

( Lyrics of four songs, a repertoire by The ball of the migratory birds and wild seeds. A band with inter alia Chika Matsuda, François Lemieux, Yuko Fukasawa, Takahiro Urushi. A performance orchestred by Constance Hinfray. )

Carlos Ghosn

When spring arrived we were ready,

All our seeds to pop up were ready,

Didn't had the feeling in february,

My neighbor already freezed, was too crazy

In some corners of my seed, something told me

Humans will only pass by, that the rumors in the fields

The clouds whispered it to me, the birds warned me

Okay Let's go

Very stubborn since birth

Sun always makes me softer

None of your product will ever work

You have no control

Wild since birth, if you test us, we'll put you in a pot

We're wider that you could imagine

We're adapted to everything,

We're everywhere, we're everything

Took us billions of years darling

(chorus)

Ah oui ah oui Hugh Grant has something to say ?

If he keeps open up will finish in a jail

Ah ah oui Carlos Ghosn has something to say

Keep on opening up and you ll stay forever in jail

Ah oui ah oui ( Carlos ) x 5

When diesel arrived, we almost died

Whats that deadly smell you brought under our nose

It's time for you to understand, you're not interesting neither handsome

Calm down, I'm the pilote

Open up and you're not eating anymore

Sit down and don't move

Otherwise glaciers will fall on you

Calm down, we the pilotes

Open up and you're not eating anymore

Sit down, don't move

Otherwise glaciers will fall on you

(Chorus)

Ah oui Ah oui Carlos, has something to say

Keep on opening up, and you finish in jail

Ah oui Ah oui Hugh has something to say

Keep on opening up and you'll go to jail

Ah Oui Ah oui ( Carlos ) x 5

Babylone Constantinople are ruines of the past

You can't face evolution, I think that's the concept

Hello Ceos, Ciao Ceos, time for you to go, time for us to blow

Babylone, Constantinople are ruines of the past

You can't face evolution, that's the concept,

Hello Ceos, Ciao Ceos, time for you to go, time for us to blow

(Chorus)

Ah oui Ah oui Carlos, has something to say

Keep on opening up, and you finish in jail

Ah oui Ah oui Hugh has something to say

Keep on opening up and you'll go to jail

Ah Oui Ah oui ( Carlos ) x 5

Manure in the garden

I understood that chemicals kills the nettles,

So I'm going to do nothing, I'm going to sit down, and learn to watch,

I understood that nothings is a hazard, That nettles works til late,

That emergencies are about to crack,

When I see the millions disabled plants, we're watering, with fertilizer,

How can we still ignore ?

That there is fire by the lychens, triple cancer in the oak tree,

Only in the next door field,

I still see the tractors still kill for nothing.

Bees, butterflies, birds got nowhere else to go

So I'm going to start and shout

(Chorus)

Ask them to legalize nettle purine

Nettle purine is healthy for trees

No message can't be any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place

learn first to use what it gives ( Yeah !! nananana )

We've been the victims of a selfish blind education

It's time that we realize

That the bad seeds gives a home and feeds all the animals

Could it be that we're don't have the answers to everything

Some are stuck with the geraniums

Some buy the roses in pot

And some tell to themselves

That garden are maybe like women

Only there to be pretty ?

Let me do the explanation

(Chorus and end)

Nettle purine will make you rivers healthy

Nettle purine is the key

No message couldn't be any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place please go back to your own place.

Nettle purine will make us healthy

Nettle purine ask and no message couldn’t be any clearer x 2

I'm starting with your mind, your mind

That woman

That man

And make that change !!!

The abandoned

If you listen you can hear them call

The abandoned

There is beyond this field what they call the abandoned

It is a lost paradise for the birds, and also the bees,

Man is a traveler, in the forest of the abandoned

Nobody can own it, and everybody is lost in the bushy fields

( Bushy fiiiiiiields )

I can hear the forest call " come to me "

Come to me x 4

Come to me x 2

I can hear the forest call come to me

And I found eternal love in the forest,

And forever my heart will be,

Gone, gone forever lost in the bushy fields,

Wild and free x 2

Valerian and Alexander

Fly upon the trees,

escape from the cities,

they live in the clouds,

they sleep without cage,

their wild hearts desire more more large,

far away in the sky upon skyscrapers,

the world isn’t big enough for them but without wings you cant fly,

my small wild weeds,

looking for freedom.

Valerian Alexander and me.

Six, the memory.

- To come -

Seven, the rivers.

- To come -

Eight, the wind.

- To come -

0 notes

alexrodriguespage · 5 years

Text

A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz

The single most important factor for plant health (regardless of the type of plant) is lighting conditions. So many houseplants are victim to poor lighting conditions and honestly I think most of it is because people don’t understand the terminology and what that means in relation to their house.

What kind of lighting does my plant need?

In this post I will illuminate (get it!?) all of your plant lighting needs and the types of plants that need different kinds of light. We’re going to map it all out for you, and hopefully by the end of it, you’ll understand exactly what you need to do to keep your plant friends happy happy.

Do You Want an Accessory for a Month, or a Plant that Lives For Years?

The first and most important thing to understand about plant care (and you’ll hear me say this over and over) is that plants are real living things. If you treat them like an accessory and put them on a bookcase away from your windows, chances are that little guy is going to suffer. If you put it in your dark bathroom, it’s not going to be ok. If you put it right by your front door and the gusts of wind from the polar vortex blow on it, you’re going to have a plantcicle on your hands.

Plants should be placed where they need to be, not where you want them to be.

(Don’t worry, we’re going to talk about finding the right kind of plant for the spot you want to fill!)

I know this because I did this! It wasnt until about a year ago that I had my eyes opened to the reason why none of my plants were surviving.

ME! DAMMIT! I was literally the problem. I was placing them where they would look cute in my house or in a photo, but not where they would actually have what they needed to survive! RIP little fellas.

Pay Attention to it!

The best best part of being a plant lady is having little guys to love and watch grow.

The first thing to understand is that because the sun moves throughout the day and the earth rotates through the year, that lighting conditions are on a constant slow change. If you are engaged (even just a little bit) you’ll notice subtle changes that take place and the warnings that something is off.

Plant Lighting Types + Best Interior Plants For Each Type

We’ve all passed 3rd grade. We know that plants need sun, water, and soil to produce photosynthesis. But how much lighting is the right amount? This my friends is the million dollar question.

The answer? As a general rule, lighting is similar to chocolate. Bigger, more, eternally. When you start with a large light source, you can adapt and adjust to make things juuuust perfect.

When you’re looking at the care info for plants there are recommended lighting conditions, but what do they mean?

Full Sun/ Bright Light/ Direct Sun

This refers to raw unfiltered sunlight and can usually be found in an East, South (depending on the time of year), or West window. This is the type of light that if you are looking out the window from the plant’s point of view, you will see the actual sun in the sky.

Best Full Sun Plants

Plants that thrive in full sun are ones that love it in nature, think succulents, palms, and other sun worshipers that live in bright sunny climates. Plants that love full sun are usually quick growers and are constantly converting that light energy into food to feed their growth. Plants that flower love full sun because of the amount of energy it takes to bloom.

A lot of plants that love full sun have thick skins that can retain a lot of water.

Succulents

Jade Plant

Cacti

String of Pearls

Herbs

Citrus Tree

Indirect Light/ Filtered Light/ Medium Light

This type of light refers to light that indirectly reaches the plant. It can be through a sheer curtain, a bright north facing window, or a plant that is set back from the window a little bit. Remember our bigger, more, eternally rule for light? When you have a great source, you can filter it and work with it.

This kind of light is often called dappled lighting and refers to the type of sunlight that plants on the forest floor receive as the sun shines through the higher trees. Indirect light has a longer lifespan, meaning direct light moves and changes throughout the day and may not have a direct path to the plant for longer than a handful of hours. Bright indirect light can last an entire day, because the plant isnt looking for the actual sun rays on the leaves. The big storefront windows at the Merc are the most ideal indirect conditions. They let in a lot of bright light but they are north facing and so the plants aren’t receiving any direct sunlight.

The Best Medium/Indirect Light Plants

The plants that love bright indirect light span most plant species. This type of light is the most forgiving and a lot of plants thrive in it.

Palms (Kentia, Bamboo, Rhaphis)

Ficus (Fiddle Leaf Fig, Rubber Plant)

Pilea

Monstera

Hoya

Aralia

Low Light

Before we start talking more about low light plants, I feel the need to clarify one thing really quick. There is no such thing as a low light plant, all plants love and need light to survive. So when we talk about low light plants, what we really mean is a plant that dies slower in low light.

Just like the bright and medium light plants, let’s take this visual out to nature. Plants that do well in low light conditions are either very sensitive to too much light (think of how many ferns were being crushed as Edward ran through the forest around Forks) or have very thick and waxy leaves and can hold onto a lot of water.

If you keep a plant in low light conditions just know that it’s not going to thrive. It might stay alive, but it’s probably not going to grow a lot.

The Best Low Light Plants

Just because a plant is low light does not necessarily mean that it is low maintenance. Ferns are a great example of medium-low light plants. Their fine leaves cant handle a lot of sun (especially direct sun!) but they always need to have moist soil and they are constantly shedding.

Some Ferns

ZZ Plants

Sansevaria (Snake Plant)

Cast Iron Plant

What type of lighting is in my room?

A Cosmo Girl style quiz to figure out what your room’s lighting personality is!

Does the room have more than one window or light source?

a) Yes, there are multiple windows or skylights b) No, there is only one window c) No, there are no windows but natural light still comes into the room from other rooms. d) No, there is zero natural light in this room

Would you consider the window to be big?

a) Yes, the window is very large b) The window is average size c) No, the window is very small d) There is no window

Is there something outside of the window that is blocking the light? (Another building, an awning, a large tree etc.)

a) No there is nothing that is blocking the light coming in the window b) Yes, but it is far enough away or sheer enough that the light still comes in. c) Yes, it definitely reduces the amount of light that is coming inside the room. d) There would be if I had a window, but because I don’t have a window I dont know how to answer this question correctly.

What direction is the window facing?

a) East, West b) South c) North d) Again, no window.

On the chart below, where is your plant placed in relation to the window?

a) Orange Section b) Yellow Section c) Brown Section d) White Section (aka in a room with no windows)

*Please keep in mind that all windows are different and lighting conditions change with the season.

Mostly A’s- Kimmy Schmidt

This room is full of potential! It’s sun-shiney light just cannot be contained!! You can grow pretty much anything in that space, in fact it’s potential is so bright that you might even need to intentionally tone it down with sheer curtains. Just dont make it too dark, we dont want another Mole lady in our midst. Just keep in mind that some plants don’t love direct sun and to plan accordingly.

Mostly B’s- Coach Eric Taylor

This room might not be perfect, but dang it we’re going to harness all of our Panther spirit and make the best of it. This room is considered medium light. You can grow almost anything in here, even plants from different sides of the track will find common ground and rise to the occasion. This space is great for difficult to handle plants (like your Fiddle Leaf Fig aptly named Tim) Keep your drapes open and the plants in close proximity to the window and you will be just fine!! Clear Eyes Full Hearts Can’t Lose!

Mostly C’s- Karen from Mean Girls

The lighting in this room is the equivalent of making out with your cousin and thinking its fine because he’s your first cousin. This room is considered low light and left to it’s own devices will slowly kill your plants. Make sure to keep the drapes open and the plants as close to the window as you can. Channel your inner ESPN and if your plant is looking a little sad, keep in mind that it’s mobile and can be moved around. If you feel like your plant is looking a little sun starved, move it to a new room and give it a chance to get healthy again.

Mostly D’s- Demogorgon

Hi. Please sit down. Friend, let’s decide together that you are not going to bring a life plant into the Upside Down ok? There are lots of great fakes that you won’t murder, but if you bring a plant in here it has a zero percent chance of survival. It will get all rotted and slimy (especially if you keep watering it!) and die a slow death where it can hear you trying to bring it back but there just isnt hope once it’s crossed over.

Still having lighting related questions? Leave them below and I’ll answer!

The post A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz appeared first on Vintage Revivals.

A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz published first on https://vacuumpalguide.tumblr.com/

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lowmaticnews · 5 years

Text

A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz

What kind of lighting does my plant need?

Do You Want an Accessory for a Month, or a Plant that Lives For Years?

Plants should be placed where they need to be, not where you want them to be.

(Don’t worry, we’re going to talk about finding the right kind of plant for the spot you want to fill!)

I know this because I did this! It wasnt until about a year ago that I had my eyes opened to the reason why none of my plants were surviving.

Pay Attention to it!

The best best part of being a plant lady is having little guys to love and watch grow.

Plant Lighting Types + Best Interior Plants For Each Type

We’ve all passed 3rd grade. We know that plants need sun, water, and soil to produce photosynthesis. But how much lighting is the right amount? This my friends is the million dollar question.

The answer? As a general rule, lighting is similar to chocolate. Bigger, more, eternally. When you start with a large light source, you can adapt and adjust to make things juuuust perfect.

When you’re looking at the care info for plants there are recommended lighting conditions, but what do they mean?

Full Sun/ Bright Light/ Direct Sun

Best Full Sun Plants

A lot of plants that love full sun have thick skins that can retain a lot of water.

Succulents

Jade Plant

Cacti

String of Pearls

Herbs

Citrus Tree

Indirect Light/ Filtered Light/ Medium Light

The Best Medium/Indirect Light Plants

The plants that love bright indirect light span most plant species. This type of light is the most forgiving and a lot of plants thrive in it.

Palms (Kentia, Bamboo, Rhaphis)

Ficus (Fiddle Leaf Fig, Rubber Plant)

Pilea

Monstera

Hoya

Aralia

Low Light

If you keep a plant in low light conditions just know that it’s not going to thrive. It might stay alive, but it’s probably not going to grow a lot.

The Best Low Light Plants

Some Ferns

ZZ Plants

Sansevaria (Snake Plant)

Cast Iron Plant

What type of lighting is in my room?

A Cosmo Girl style quiz to figure out what your room’s lighting personality is!

Does the room have more than one window or light source?

Would you consider the window to be big?

a) Yes, the window is very large b) The window is average size c) No, the window is very small d) There is no window

Is there something outside of the window that is blocking the light? (Another building, an awning, a large tree etc.)

What direction is the window facing?

a) East, West b) South c) North d) Again, no window.

On the chart below, where is your plant placed in relation to the window?

a) Orange Section b) Yellow Section c) Brown Section d) White Section (aka in a room with no windows)

*Please keep in mind that all windows are different and lighting conditions change with the season.

Mostly A’s- Kimmy Schmidt

Mostly B’s- Coach Eric Taylor

Mostly C’s- Karen from Mean Girls

Mostly D’s- Demogorgon

Still having lighting related questions? Leave them below and I’ll answer!

The post A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz appeared first on Vintage Revivals.

A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz published first on https://landscapingmates.blogspot.com

0 notes

jeffdonaldsons · 5 years

Text

A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz

What kind of lighting does my plant need?

Do You Want an Accessory for a Month, or a Plant that Lives For Years?

Plants should be placed where they need to be, not where you want them to be.

(Don’t worry, we’re going to talk about finding the right kind of plant for the spot you want to fill!)

I know this because I did this! It wasnt until about a year ago that I had my eyes opened to the reason why none of my plants were surviving.

Pay Attention to it!

The best best part of being a plant lady is having little guys to love and watch grow.

Plant Lighting Types + Best Interior Plants For Each Type

We’ve all passed 3rd grade. We know that plants need sun, water, and soil to produce photosynthesis. But how much lighting is the right amount? This my friends is the million dollar question.

The answer? As a general rule, lighting is similar to chocolate. Bigger, more, eternally. When you start with a large light source, you can adapt and adjust to make things juuuust perfect.

When you’re looking at the care info for plants there are recommended lighting conditions, but what do they mean?

Full Sun/ Bright Light/ Direct Sun

Best Full Sun Plants

A lot of plants that love full sun have thick skins that can retain a lot of water.

Succulents

Jade Plant

Cacti

String of Pearls

Herbs

Citrus Tree

Indirect Light/ Filtered Light/ Medium Light

The Best Medium/Indirect Light Plants

The plants that love bright indirect light span most plant species. This type of light is the most forgiving and a lot of plants thrive in it.

Palms (Kentia, Bamboo, Rhaphis)

Ficus (Fiddle Leaf Fig, Rubber Plant)

Pilea

Monstera

Hoya

Aralia

Low Light

If you keep a plant in low light conditions just know that it’s not going to thrive. It might stay alive, but it’s probably not going to grow a lot.

The Best Low Light Plants

Some Ferns

ZZ Plants

Sansevaria (Snake Plant)

Cast Iron Plant

What type of lighting is in my room?

A Cosmo Girl style quiz to figure out what your room’s lighting personality is!

Does the room have more than one window or light source?

Would you consider the window to be big?

a) Yes, the window is very large b) The window is average size c) No, the window is very small d) There is no window

Is there something outside of the window that is blocking the light? (Another building, an awning, a large tree etc.)

What direction is the window facing?

a) East, West b) South c) North d) Again, no window.

On the chart below, where is your plant placed in relation to the window?

a) Orange Section b) Yellow Section c) Brown Section d) White Section (aka in a room with no windows)

*Please keep in mind that all windows are different and lighting conditions change with the season.

Mostly A’s- Kimmy Schmidt

Mostly B’s- Coach Eric Taylor

Mostly C’s- Karen from Mean Girls

Mostly D’s- Demogorgon

Still having lighting related questions? Leave them below and I’ll answer!

The post A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz appeared first on Vintage Revivals.

via Mandi at A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz via Jeff Donaldson’s Blog A Complete Guide to Lighting For Your Indoor Plants + Quiz

0 notes

t-urbulence · 5 years

Text

you know.... with all said and done... there’s not a single thing I’d change about the ending of Vale. it’s really how it was supposed to end. and once again, if you have any plans of reading it do not read this post cause im going to literally spell out the ending okay. this was especially a warning to my sister x)

so im not exactly good at character development but i am good at relationship developments which might be weird like if i know how to do one thing how cant i know how to do the other... but oh well i dont want to lament more on that i just really like how i did the relationships in the story though not so many of them change.

morlene and vale don’t change too much but i feel like everything that was going to happen between them happened before the story. they weren’t going to love each other any more after anything that happened in the story. morlene’s last words to vale are “i love you, i don’t regret anything” but they weren’t brought on by character growth, she said them because it was her last chance to reassure vale that she shouldn’t feel guilty about anything.

cephas’ character doesn’t really have time to change in a nuanced way though id like to think i gave his moments of growth enough motivation. sure he gets dragged into this whole mess by a complete stranger but the biggest step for him is when he almost causes his and vale’s death by getting themselves tangled up with vera talbot. that’s when he shows vale his house (and when in reac vale tells him her name so that’s a twofer right there). but he and vale are inseparable long before they find out who they are. after all, vale gives up her plans to move to the mainland to help him (not even to save him because at this point cephas isnt even in danger) and then sweet cephas who looks so awkward with a weapon and whose custom-made switch-sword has never seen blood kills, gruesomely, just to get to vale.

cephas and morlene are kind of on the same wavelength and if you think about it, morlene not telling her two best friends about her role in the rebellion just so she wouldn’t interrupt their personal shenanigans is very in-line with how cephas used to be so inward that he never had a single friend in thirty years of his life. and in the end they’re in very similar situations too. cephas lost his sister and morlene lost her love, and though mason will miss vale too, they’re the only two people who feel that way because mason’s love for vale is quite different.

now, mason is the character thats the most alike in both worlds and even though we only see the ending of mason #2′s character arc i can pretty much tell you it’s very similar in both worlds.

mason’s character development also kicked off long before the story started. her journey leads from deciding to be part of the very thing she’s trying to stop just so she can work from close to the fire and eventually end the royal guard’s rule and save the people. the very people who she’s forced to hurt and the very people that don’t know and can’t know that she’s doing all this for them. was there a better way to help them? angel would probably say there was, after all they were a royal witch at one point too but left when they saw what they were being used for.

but in the same time, in the other world the other angel pretty much spells out that they stayed in the guard and helped that way. so clearly, there are situations where that seems like the only option.

so mason’s journey leads from having to work from the shadows to being able to take control from the royal guard and being able to stand in front of the people of caelmoor and telling them exactly how shits gonna fly from now on. to finally be able to communicate with the people and prove to them that she only ever wanted to help. i love her speech so much (i know i wrote it x)) because it’s just so Mason. She doesn’t talk like Zavier used to hold his speeches. She curses, calls Zavier a dickhead, she’s done with having to appear one way when she’s the other.

"This is a democracy," she bellows over a wind-swept land. "And I'm not a king. I'm a guard. My council is guards, scientists, architects, mechanics, engineers, and civilians."

Here we go, I think with childish excitement, compelled to physically rub my hands together.

"And as such, we don't need a castle," Mason says, and I can see from where I sit that she raises both hands in the air.

At her cue, what I assume must be dozens of people standing by the ends of mile-long ropes, drop the tarps covering the mountainside to reveal the high castle, the mountainside, and the entirety of the lower castle covered in scaffoldings from top to bottom and side to side.

"We don't need marble statues," Mason yells and movement starts behind her as a squad of carts ride out from the castle yard, packed full of stuff. I can't see that from this far but it's pretty obvious what's happening. "We don't need golden chandeliers. We don't need velvet curtains, leather armchairs, crystal windows, platinum, silver, diamond, we don't need any of that crap!"

Along with the row of carts riding at walking speed from the castle along the set path, a group of people start following them on foot, each holding an instrument, playing music, marching enthusiastically by the rally that I can hear even without loud speakers.

"The new building will be enough for us to govern the island from, but we'll tear this whole place down bit-by-bit over the next few weeks and sell all of our precious white stone to the mainland if that means every citizen of Caelmoor gets to live in peace and prosperity. I'll tear the whole mountain down if I have to before dooming another person to death because the king likes his castles high, welcome to the fucking parade!"

Loud bumps in the loud speakers and what little movement I can make out imply that Mason literally kicked over her microphone stand as her last words are drowned out by deafening screams and cheers from all over downtown.

what an icon.

and bitch. think of that. before this part she says the landfill in the shanty town will be filled up and the residential cemetery will be extended so nobody has to toss their loved ones in a hole anymore. just imagine the catharsis this woman felt when she realised she can finally do this. i realise that if this was a famous book a lot of people would probably immediately draw parallels between shit like X-Men like “she was just following orders” or whatever but she was saving people. she really was. a lot more people would’ve died if someone else is guard commander instead of mason. yes it sucks and you can blame her, vale did too, but she did the only thing she had the chance to which was minimising casualties.

so thats mason. her main relationship arc is just with the general population of caelmoor. she also has a problem with vale’s neutrality in the beginning which is why they broke up in the first place. when morlene moves the rebellion forward and use it as an opportunity to save cephas and mason tells vale to pick a side finally, she answers “you would be surprised”. thats their growth moment.

now, we covered that morlene doesnt (need to) change much, and that cephas changes in that he finally finds his people. vale warns him not to get stuck in another cage (first his mansion, then ecklehold, then his mission to find a way back to vale) and he’s not. i also love it when he insists that he gets to say goodbye to vale though its at a really unfortunate time. but thats pretty much the first selfish thing you see him do in the whole story and thats vale’s influence.

and how vale changes is also cephas’ influence. they muse quite a bit about how they’re supposed to be the same person and how thats weird because theyre so different but i dont think theyre that different at all, their lives just started in different ways that brought different sides of them. cephas was brought up by neglectful parents who then “left him” completely, of course he grew into an adult all on his own, became a thief and lived in a house all by himself. vale grew up in a loving family even if they were assassin grandparents and sort of absentee parents. she was trained to be social, a chameleon, a conwoman, and extrovert, fit to adapt to any situation.

but whether they’re technically twins, or literally the same person but just different genders, it really doesnt matter. cephas makes vale laugh the first time they meet, then vale reads cephas like an open book later that very same day. they joke and mess around like old friends do when vale is still debating whether she shouldve saved the guy in the first place and cephas has no idea why caelmoor’s most famous assassin would take a liking to him. why anyone would. they just have this instant connection and they open up parts of each other through what they share with each other of themselves after all the traumatic shit that happens to them.

so vale... a thousand identities and faces she shows to the people she uses to get what she wants, tries (and fails) to keep a distance from the only person she ever truly loved then this loser shows up in her life and she realises life can be just like that. you can have friends and its normal. towards the endgame shes at a point where she would rather die than to be separated from them. and then she is.

despite promising cephas that she would live she spends the next few weeks of her new life in her old world preparing to die. when she goes to see zavier #2 before his execution she goes there with the intention to die. she spent her whole life preparing to kill zavier and now she would free him and let him live if it only meant she gets to die.

"This door leads outside, behind Ecklehold where the stands can't see. I have a bunch of smoke bombs in my bag, you can evade the guards before they know where to look for you. There's a boat by the residential docks that will take you to the mainland. You can disappear and start a new life, just like you planned before. I can give you about seventy-five silvers but I expect you know how to fend for yourself."

I haven't spoken this much since I made the deal with the damn boatman, and boy, my throat is sore.

For a few seconds Zavier can only look at me in disbelief, his wrists held slightly together like he hasn't noticed that I cut him loose.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I need something from you in return," I say and turn the pistol around, so the handle is facing Zavier. "You have to kill me."

The guards outside have started to look for which route Zavier could've take and it's only a matter of seconds before they try getting in here. They might think it's just a locked door so they might not dedicate a whole squad to getting it open but they will get it open.

Zavier looks at the gun then back at me, his forehead wrinkling above his eyebrows.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because they won't do it," I snap at him, but I can't keep my facial muscles from spasming. "And I can't do it. And somebody fucking has to."

Zavier exhales a gentle oh and puts one hand on the handle and another one on my hands. His fingers envelope mine and I can't let go. He keeps eye contact, his light blue iris drawing my glance to him like a magnet, and his dreadful coldness creeps into my head and burns me from the inside.

"Too bad, Vale Callaghan," he whispers, his face so close and his voice so overwhelming to my senses I can no longer see the room around us. "Nobody can save you now."

(in my brain, by the way, patrick warburton is zavier x)) if zavier takes the gun from her and shoots her she wouldnt fight to survive. she wants him to finish it. but then he doesnt and shes now forever doomed to live. even mason #2 acknowledged that being left alive is a punishment for her. so what does vale do? the vale that was asked a thousand and one times to just stay with her friends and the vale that chose to walk away every time. she actively and willingly asks for help, the most selfish thing she can imagine to do as undeserving as she thinks she is of any help. she goes to morlene #2 and tells her everything. and when morlene #2 inevitably asks her to stay because even though theyre different people she’s still morlene, she stays.

and she’s going to be okay.

initially the ending of vale included vale being able to see and talk to cephas every time the blightning happens and the gate opens for a bit even if they cant cross over to hug and stuff. but then i wanted to be cruel(er) and decided celia and eamon would totally invent a way to stop the beacons from creating a gateway, so it does. the fact that the lunar bronze, the same material the beacon is from can cross over the gate was absolute bullshit from my part and its kind of just a reward i wanted to give vale for finally learning her lesson, to not hate herself for letting people help her.

also i really love that she doesnt just stay an assassin in the new world but she also finds a job at tulip’s store AND offers to train the new guard :’D

oh tulip. speaks the best line in the whole story. he’s the only man i trust.

"I give advice, here," he says and leans in close, almost having to stand on his tiptoes. His breath stinks of spices. "Morlene tell me other world and Caelmoor. Same people but other people."

"You really have this whole multiverse theory down, don't you?"

"If other Caelmoor Tulip is Tulip, you go find Tulip you ask for help. He help. Ask him to no questions, he will no questions. You are no lonely."

This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

"Thanks, man," I pat him on the shoulder. "Stay sharp, yeah?"

"Ahha!" he laughs while doing the finger guns at me. "I see you did there!"

"Because you have a blade sharpening business?"

"Very smart!"

#sorry for the word vomit #vale*#mediocre young adult writer problems #long post for ts

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caszscountrycraftsblog · 5 years

Photo

For those of you who do not know me I thought Id write a little about myself. I have been fighting cancer for nearly 10 years now, I used to run a local charcoal chicken shop in town but had to resign from that instantly when I found out I had an aggressive Mouth & Oesophagus Cancer in July, 2009.

I was operated on 24 hours after that diagnose and didn't return home for another 4 months only to have another week home and than travel down to Melbourne for Radiation therapy treatment, I came home 3 months later and I was told to expect to die within a four year time period so my hopes weren't exactly high back then and I was told to make the best of what time I had left with my family, partner & children.

My life has never been been the same since that day and to everyone's surprise including myself I have survived this long. I developed necrosis in October, 2015 from having to much radiation therapy which meant I had radiation poisoning and by the time my condition was diagnosed again it was pretty serious. My left side of my jaw had four break in it my chin 2 and the right side of my jaw had completely disintegrated. So major surgery again and once again I had to put my life on hold again and another 3 month stay in hospital and 18 months recovering from the surgery.

I am still having surgeries done to have my lower face , mouth and pallet reconstitution I now need due to the fact the surgery Id initially had done to give me time was done by learner and hadn't been done correctly. I have also been un tongue tied as he had sewed the underneath of my tongue on backwards after they cut it in half so am slowly regaining some of my speech and eating and although they will never be the same again i'm alive and have some function, my weight fluctuates to much but to be honest Im just happy to be alive for whatever time I have left on this earth with those I love and who are in my life now.

I lost a lot of friends and even a few family members during my struggle to live not because I was dying but more the fact they didn't know how to cope to with it or had to much going on there own lives to fit me in. I've had a total of 34 operations now so far and have another 2 Im about to face early next year in 2019, I see my plastic surgeon again next week for more news on that one.

I dont have a survivor status yet again as I lost that in 2015 & have another 2 years to on that one before I call myself a survivor again but I already consider myself there as one especially as Im still alive 9 years later & nearly 10 years on my diagnosis. At times I get a little depressed and yes feel sorry for myself mainly because I was no longer earning an income’as I've worked all my life and having buried and lost a lot of family during this time with the age Im now at and is to be expected but it still hurts and no mater how long time goes you miss those you bury.

From all of this struggle I have crochet and knitted, especially with spending so much time in hospital and at home it gave me something to do taking my mind off a lot of it all including the pain. Home time has also meant a heck of a lot of therapy for speech, lymphodema therapy and physiotherapy. i have learnt to walk on a leg with the back none missing from lower right leg so instead of 2 bones in that leg I have only 1 as that was what they used to make a new jaw for me.

A new technique devised by the 6 surgeons who flew in to work on me from through out the world that was to be 24 hour surgery but they pulled me out at 18 hours due to blood flow difficulties and not finished which is why I cant be fully finished now. My cheek was reconstructed from muscle in my shoulder and ive had numerous skin grafts so far one more to go again yet though early in 2019. Those scar I wear with pride to be honest and being a part of new techniques being the guinea pig has been both exciting & frighting.

From all this pain, death, travel to hospitals and my interest with wool growing I've gone from crochet & knitting to dying wool and am now learning to spin wool. Something I hope to earn an income from for the rest of my living life. I didn't initially choose wool as an income but more for therapy but from that gift of life and living, my friends & family Casz’s Country crafts was born and I am slowly putting my business together on line through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and of course Tumbler.

Casz’s Country Craft’s is slowly growing with support from all of you online. I now have a blog called Wednesday’s Pattern Pick’s where after a lot of internet searching I find free patterns to post which you are able to download free in PDF format, there is also no subscription for this as Im unable to do it every week but will do it as often as I can on a Wednesday so it’s there for everyone to access on a Thursday.

I am producing a quarterly newsletter which has interesting facts and articles about wool in it, free patterns again which are not published on the website & coupons for you to use throughout a 10 week time period repeatedly. So you have time to save and budget for what you would like to buy. The Newsletter is every 3 months and the only time it is not published is when I have surgery & recovery time.

I have bamboo needles for sale, hand dyed dk yarn atm that has dyed by me that is a superwash plus some imported yarns from italy & germany, I also sell crochet & knitting Accessories, Needles and notions plus a few patterns for you to all access and from 2019 I hope to Knit Pro needles in stock for you all directly from here in Victoria Australia.

I do hope though that my store will succeed with over time and support by the online community and that over time my health will improve more and I can enjoy life more after hospitals and operations.

The same cancer killed my father at 59 which is how old I am, my grandfather died at 42 from a brain tumour and I lost my other grandparents, nan and pop with only my mother and 1 aunt still surviving so not a lot of family remaining now, my mum says shes going to live to 106 I believe her as my grandmother was 99. The women in my family have had to be strong and inspirational and adaptive for there times so its no wonder I've plodded along with my life, my 4 children now live with the threat of cancer which saddens me immensely, i do hope they have long, happy and prosperous lives though.

So out of cancer A Woollen Fibre Business has been born & due to what I've gone through new surgeries & techniques have been developed with me being the guinea pig, lol. However 4 other patients who normally to wouldn't be helped are now receiving help due to the new techniques and my surgeon has trained 6 other doctors from various hospitals. So for that I am grateful that some good has come out of this horrible disease.

I’d love for you to have a look at my website store, maybe join our Facebook page or Follow our Instagram sites or Pintrest Site to see what Im up to plus of course follow my journey as it you the online reader that i need to follow me and who also buy’s from me plus of course share my posts to get the word out about my business, as at the moment I can't afford to pay for advertising.

Which everyone keeps telling Im probably going to fail with not doing paid advertising as they dont believe in the power of you the reader or me the fighter the person trying to rise out of hospitals, death and cancer. I do though believe in the internet the power of the reader the power of the reader and that I can in fact make an income running a small business from home with illness, major disabilities and survive all of this coming our of it with both my Cancer survivor Status, A life & A income.

So Please Follow My Journey! & my Online store., link is on the words online store and Casz’s Country Craft’s throughout my blog.

Come visit my store at http:caszscountrycrafts.store If you crochet or Knit I am also after garments to sell online in my store for people plus sell our wares at local community markets which I do fortnightly a fee of $10 is taken from the sale price to cover the costs of flyers and advertising that I do plus of course help cover the cost of running of the website, everything else I do at my own costs including packaging, photos & labels, the rest of the money is yours which goes directly into your bank at point of sale. How can I do this I can because I Live EFTPOS Facilities, Pay Pal & E-Square Point of sale payment systems in place plus of course the online store checkout facilities.

Im also after Indi Dyers to add more woollen varieties to my store and farmers who produce clean wool tops for me to buy. Im after Corridale, merino, Angora & Alpaca Fibres to spin together.

I've a lady in Tasmania who makes my notions for me eg; broaches & stitch marker sets, plus a lady in South Australia who makes top whorl spinners for me. So if you'd like to join our team and become a team member please contact me. Join me and my journey in something that I feel is developing into something special!

So if you to work from from home running a small business with something associated crochet & knitting please email me at [email protected] include a letter and photos there, if you've no photos and just want to make an enquiry you can email [email protected]

Im currently updating our postage prices as Australia post have updated the outgoing mail prices again and expanding our postage outside of Australia atm so am about to include Ireland, Singapore, China, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Canada, USA plus of course England and Austral Asia.

So come join us and become a Team member of Casz’s Country Craft’s or Follow us as we put together a Crochet & Knitting Textile Store that I truly believe will develop into something special online!

” Where Yarn Crochet & Knitting Come Together!”

Carey @ Casz’s Country Craft’s

#crochetofinstagram knittersofinstagram cancersucks income woolenFibres #freepatterns WednesdaysPatternPicks Pintrest Instagram Tumbler Facebook JoinOurTeam JoinTheFight JoinSomethingSpecial onlinestore #caszs_country_crafts_store supportsmallbusiness workfromhome fibreLoveAffiar

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jordyx1000 · 7 years

Text

Scorpion Mouth. Celebrating the Inner Self - Exist.

Whoa, How do you start a conversation with yourself. Something you haven't had in a long time. I firstly, get some tobacco and turn on Spotify. Hold on.

The Date: October 28th. 2017. I haven't touched this thing, since the last time I felt alone. Notice how I say feel? I am completely not alone, I have you. You are hearing my mind right now, through my fingers, transcribed to a monitor. Through your eyes, the light shines. Receptors balance the emotions, context. They bend your muscles, in accordance, you have a reciprocated attack. What happened to me this year. Well, for starters, I got honorably discharged from the navy. I Served 8 solid years. Loved, hated it...just like everything else I suppose. I reluctantly got home. I didn't want to go “home”. In my mind, my family needed it more then I did. I felt like I returned for them. With my selfishness aside, oh selfishness, what have you done. We will talk about you later. Noone knows the true meaning of starting over, until you literally start over in a new world. That is what it felt like. What is the first thing you do, when you return, try and adapt, survey the land...analyze the roads to which you will be traveling soon. Try and remember everything, tips and tricks. Reconnect with the people who said that they wish you were back home. Of course that novelty wears off, “the new guy” suddenly becomes the same guy, just years later. That is fine, that is expected, that is life. That was my life for years and years. What do you do for work? Man, I basically just milked my funds, lived off the land. Traveled, reconnect, travel, reconnect. Months. Then reality sets in, you become apart of the machine and meld into the landscape. This isn't why I came here though, to talk about life. Or the normality of life. The things that everyone goes through.

I came here for the end. The opposite of life. Death. The death, the rot, the muscle spasm-twitch, eyes roll back, decomposition. I came here to talk to you about what its like to watch something die. I wanna talk about CPR, breathing in, out, watching the lungs fill and shrink. Watching the skin start to fade in color. The tears, the constant overwhelming feeling of watching something you love, fade into the unknown. The future of life. but the death of it at the same time. Such a weird paradox to me, to think, something can die, and become unknown, within the actually living to die, and fade to the unknown.

I wandered a bit. In the darkness. To me at that point, it wasn't dark. Looking back, it was very dark. Something really weird happened to me. Randomly, it makes me so sick at how random it was. I guess I will start with the real reason I came here.

Sometime in May, I met the love of my life. I say that with a lot of weight, I knew from the very second I met her, I loved her. She moved, so beautifully. But with a slight anger, a slight badass blend. It wasn't like I was looking at a golden angel, wings spread. It was like I was watching a real, raw, human, skin and all. It didn't take long for me to realize, she has a lot of darkness in her. I liked that, in a sick way. I love the idea, of someone spilling their guts about how raw life can be. The true feelings. Not some tv show, not staged. Just raw. My life, was dark, but it wasn't that dark. My problems were normal problems. She had a baby, only a month old. I didn't like the idea at first, I probably expressed that in an ackward way. I actually was very wary about it. To the point, where I would contemplate texting her. Up until this point, it was a deal breaker. Something about her drew me in, I could write words all day to the feeling I felt, but I sincerely cant. I am not skilled enough to draw up human emotions like that. I decided very early on, that I would try and do everything I could, to build her spirits. Like a fucked up project. That I loved. So fucking much. Just to talk about things, life, real fucking life. I knew about a week in, she had a drinking problem. The subject of anxiety was brought up, played off, you know. Noone wants to overload someone with so many different things like that. It is scary, I know I wouldn't. In my head, I knew she was taking pills and drinking. I just didn't want to think it was an issue. I just buried it. I should have left that first week though, that concert was horrible. Some of the worst times ive ever had. Completely lost control of my situation. I don't think I ever fully recovered from that. I just buried it

We would go on walks, and talk about life. One subject in particular was the subject of her daughter, the creation of her daughter, and the future. Where was her dad? I remember vividly thinking, she probably doesn't want him in her life, and he wants too. I couldn't imagine being a new dad, and not seeing my kid. This isn't the 70′s. You don't want to perceived as a douche bag via social media. That can ruin your social standing. with life. In my head I knew he wanted to be in the picture. I also remember her, telling me, he wants nothing to do with her. I said, “So what happens when he gets alittle bit older”. Of course, the natural defense, she says, “Noway, he is a fuck”. Probably alittle more summarized, but you get the jyst, I had a full adult conversation, unselfishly delving deeper into her mind about it. Ha, selfish. I remember you. I'm going to take a break for a second. Before I get into the meat, the heavy, darkness that ensues.

Ok, I am back. the time 8:20 pm.

I don't edit. I don't reread. So I apologize completely. I feel like all that nonsense, takes away from what really matters. What is my perception. What is my vision of the world around me. I am not trying to be biased, or sway judgement, I promise to be 100% fair and just.

I get it, so far you probably feel like something was wrong with me for dealing with the little stuff, if I felt so weird about it. There was something wrong with me, and it wasn't her. So far from her. I wasn't using her darkness to feel better about myself. I wish I could, at not one point did I feel like I was capable of feeling good about myself. I dated a girl, for three years, a hard 3 years. Just two people, trying to figure out life. It ended weirdly, so in my mind, I knew there were things I needed to change. I was depressed. So depressed. The reasons I came home, for being there for my family, turned quickly into realizing, I wasn't really needed here. I could have went anywhere, and everything would have been just fine. That set in so hard. To fully understand you weren't as needed as you thought you were going to be. But I am grown, for seconds in the week, it would flash flood my mind, and as quickly as it was there, it was gone. For split seconds, I would let myself revert back into that mode. I wasn't doing anything, just thinking, no friends to keep my mind off of the shit. I miss that aspect so badly. That got me through everything, someone saying something stupid to laugh at. Someone going through something difficult to make you realize its not so bad.

Wow, this song. “You stay above me forever, like you stay above me now”

Dear in the headlights. Midwestern Dirt. Fucking crazy I'm hearing this. Music helped me, it helped me and her. not once did we hate each other through the music. You cannot lose that. I realize that now. When you love something, you hold it tightly. I wouldn't say I am a romantic person. I love seeing the girl I'm with happy. I do have this jealousy problem, where I get annoyed when someone else makes my girl happier then I do. I guess, I don't get upset that she is happy, I get upset with myself that I didn't blow that shit out the water and make her happier. Does that make me psychotic? is that normal? How do you google that to see. I never would want something bad to happen to anyone. But sometimes, I do wish things that have happened to me, that they have caused, would happen to them. I guess that's fucked up.

She wasn't a bad person, she isn't a bad person. She was going through a lot of things. I thought I was badass, I thought I was gonna be able to take care of all this shit. My dude hands. handling business. But you slowly realize, no matter how much you have helped people in your life, sometimes, you don't know all of the answers. The biggest problem I have in my life, is getting frustrated that I cannot fix things. I have heard so many times in my life “slow down” “take a breath”. I get frustrated. Panicked. Nervous. annoyed. That whole aspect stretched from making breakfast, to talking to the one you love. It fucked me up. in the end. You don't really grasp it. Until you write it down. When so many things pile up, before you can fix the first instance, it gets out of hand to me. melt down. I say things I don't mean out of frustration. anger. I wish it was something anger management could help with, but I have to much pride to think I cant fix something on my own. How do you even start? Ok break time. 8:40pm

841pm I was thinking again. The direction. The timeline. A few weeks of us hanging out, the news came. Ol’ Boy wants a bit of custody with his daughter. She was in tears. Devestated. I didn't console enough, I knew this day was going to come. No dude, in his right mind wants to not see something he created. I don't care who you are. I remember hearing again, how much of a piece of shit he was for this. I defended him, and remember vividly, getting scolded. taking his side. That conversation was brought up a number of times as an “arguemenet” I created. Sincerely trying to be rational, and reasonable. That isn't what you do to a girl, going through that I thought. She is right, she needs me to defend her, talk shit about him. I just couldn't do it. 8:45pm

851pm This is amazing. The feeling, of talking without worrying about what the fuck I say.

I want to take it back to the best seconds of our connection. I remember standing in that room. Her baby, in her arms. I just held her for the first time, my girl loved it. I remember so clearly her eyes, they were filled with desire. We never did anything but hug before then, I was scared beyond belief. Never once in my life, have I been worried about a physical connection. She needed it, I needed it, the icing on the cake for us. The third arm to this perfect triangle. I hesitated. And failed. Stupid. I feel like we already did, I felt like we made the most beautiful love through our eyes. All the feeling that comes from it, was there, we both knew it. All but the physical sensation, that mentality never left. Months later, we still made love like that. Passionate. Through the eyes. It wasn't two people trying to be in a porno, it was two people so connected. I don't think I could top that, as sad as it is. That third arm. It was there, 33% of our relationship was perfect. flawless. I remember slowly going outside with her, laying down on that blanket. Commiting myself to a literal perfect existence. If there was a good version of selling your soul to the devil, that is what I felt. I completed a part of life that day. feeling the heaviest amount of passion, I have ever felt. 8:57pm

9:06pm Ok, Yah, that was amazing. Still think about that time everyday. That was the sole memory that kept me alive. Mentally. You couldn't top it. Something out of a movie. I felt smooth, sauve, but it was just us, together, full of passion. That doesn't happen to everyone. I am blessed I got to feel that. She was drinking those days. I was being unsupportive. I didn't understand the problem until recently. Right before mediation actually. When we talked. She was freaking out, didn't ask me how my day was, just completely went on this rant about how her therapist wouldn't talk to her. I didn't realize the significance, until that point. I am incredibly ashamed that I didn't. I knew it was a problem, but didn't grasp it. Sometimes I stay ignorant by choice. Complaining about everything you think is shit, doesn't do anything. Sometimes just keeping it locked away, works. it didn't for this. not at all. I didn't grow up in a home where therapy was “needed”, although looking back, it would have helped...and I probably wouldn't be writing about all this now. I failed her in that sense, not understanding enough. it isn't that I didn't want to, it is just the complete unknown. It doesn't register to me, as something that needs to be addressed, because I lived a whole life without hearing about it. I don't consider that being selfish, not once did I feel like I was better then her. Not once did I feel like I had no problems, even though I was told I thought I was flawless. Told I need to look in the mirror. I guess you could read these, and understand I looked in the mirror a lot. Not many dudes, almost 30, take the time on their Saturday night to write on tumble. not a lot of dudes are as intune to their minds and how things work like I am. I am by no means saying I am better then them, I'm just saying I have tried my hardest to understand. whether it is right or wrong. I have tried...so fucking hard. I don't blame her for her addiction, I asked if it was an addiction early on. I was told it wasn't. I couldn't play ignorant. Another instance where I wasn't making my girl happier then what her pills make her. That is really fucking sad to me. And when I cant fix something, I lose my cool. Ive known that forever. I'm not saying she is the cause, I am just saying, for the first time in my life, I'm talking with someone who amps me up to the point where I am hurting someones feelings. I would never physically hurt anyone. I would never tell someone they are good for nothing. I would never tell someone to kill themselves. I would, and did, tell someone they are weak. The saddest moment in my life. To judge someone, based on their own encounters. Fucked up. I regreted that conversation, from the beginning. I remember asking her to stop taking medicine, or don't talk to me. Why? Was that selfish? To want someone to get better? I am at a stand still with understanding that. 9:17

9:31pm I always why we never did anything creative together. I know we both wanted too. Collaborate. Do something amazing. Apart of me thought, she is just going through too much right now, the last thing she wants to do is stretch her already stretched mind. It is intimidating, knowing someone is going through so much. The balance, the middle ground. Of course, of fucking course, I do some fucked shit and say something I don't mean, and that careful tight rope that I delicately tried to balance, begins to rattle and shake. “Don't do that again, you are going to kill us.” I like to think, no one rememebers the good steps of the tight rope, only the sections where your life is in danger. Even though, your life stays constantly in danger. you don't say, “Well I almost died, but those first good steps were so good”. That isn't the human way. We automatically lash out at the chance. You didn't died, but you almost did. ontop of almost dying just by walking acrossed it in the first place. Those kind of thoughts, goon me up. 9:35pm

9:36.

Am I a monster? Jordon surrey, are you a fucking monster. Are you a menace. A psychotic, sociopath?

I keep writing the times. I save it, and then take a second to breath. turn to a different song. This is the most ive written in one session in years and years. I remember when my mom put a word processor in my room. I would write stories. “They gotta make a movie about this”. I wish I still had those. I couldn't imagine what they would say. Kids are lucky, or is that lucky? So have everything you have ever written saved? My ex girlfriend of 3 years came into the picture pretty quickly. Those messeges were saved. Every conversation we ever had. The girl I was with, she read them. What does that do to the dynamic? she has you figured out? Comparing you now, to the you then. without any sort of context but words you wrote. She judged me on those. That was a dark feeling to me. So vunerable, and yet so misunderstood. I don't want to talk about that anymore. It shouldn't have happened. I don't think its selfish to be upset with that, those are not conversations like this. This is pure, mental, public, words. Those were between two people, who were on an unimaginable plane of existence. You cant look at those, and compare. They mean nothing out of context. I speak my mind, me and her, we didn't have the passion me and this girl did. it wasn't the same, but it was what I knew. for years and years. it takes a minute to realize that isn't the girl you were talking to. You wont ever know who that girl was, and that is the saddest part. 942pm

946

I don't really know, if I am a monster. Or what we be happening right now if things were different. If I handled things differently. The main issues were still there. I think if the timeline didn't play out, I think she would still be drinking. Or maybe not, maybe she drank because of me. I hate bringing up the fact she drank, because who the fuck cares. She can drink? it is her body. it is her life. if she wants to do that, she can. If I didn't know her, I wouldn't give a fuck less if she drank. I hated it. I despised when she drank. It was so unattractive to me. It is like holding, the perfect red, shiny apple. Such a great shape. Smell. You want to bite it. But then you turn it around...and its rotten. You have to eat around it...but you cant get close...you don't want that shit even near to your mouth. You had to address that It was there, had to try and get rid of it. Digging it the fuck out. layer by layer, until you hit the core. I knew it was an issue. it was clear as day. Not as clear as my own issues, but it was something that needed to be addressed. I cant remember an argument not consisting of drinking. Such a waste of a good apple. Was that selfish of me? to want to get rid of the rot? Before I bite it, love it, consume it? I don't know. I miss the good times so much. Half way through these months, I realized we were going to get married. Like come on!? I...Jordon surrey, wanted to marry someone. not just say it, not just express it...but need it. Desire it more then anything. What the fuck?!?!? Life is fucked. The death consumes. I have to take a break, before I talk about what is really wrong with me. What I did wrong. 9:45pm

The day comes. Everything is in full effect. The babies father is back in the picture. I'm at work. I get a call after saying that everything went good. he is coming back to the house, and that she knows I'm probably not gonna feel good about it. I don't. Who would. The most secure person, would be insecure about having the babies father in the picture. Especially remembering back to that first kiss. the first time we locked eyes and made mental love. the baby was right there. she was with us. My time was consumed with making sure my girls life wasn't flipped upside down. and instead of hers being flipped upside down, mine was. The father is given the fucking right, to see and be there for his daughter. there is no doubt about that. That is something that has to fucking happen. and to be even slightly upset for him given that chance is bullshit. He deserves it. It dick, created that child. Just as much as her vagina did. He deserves to see his baby girl. But yet, I still remain upset? I can sort through everything in my head, and avoid the anger being about him getting to be there for his daughter. That isn't my place, to take his place. I helped while he was away. I knew he was coming, and the baby needed a father. Yah, I didn't do enough for her, in the sense. I gave everyone space. Because I knew he was coming back. The only thing that sticks into my head, about the anger. Is the fact that, I know nothing about him, besides the negative shit ive heard. I know he was a drug head. Drunk. unsupportive, child. stupid. couldn't spell. didn't like good music. fake. And boom, he is here. I understand the biase. I understand she will talk shit about him. But I don't understand, why everyone gets to learn about him but me. The only one who fucking supported him seeing his fucking daughter. is that selfish? I don't fucking know. but it makes my eyes well up...just thinking about it. I wish I could shake his fucking hand. and tell him I had his fucking back since the start. jesus fucking Christ. I'm so sorry dude. ive met dudes, who didn't get to see there kids for months after they were born...crying. devastated. sad. I couldn't imagine. I got to take a break. 1007

1010

I want to start this by talking about my insecurities. I know her. I know her desire for a normal family. What would be the easiest way for that baby to be happy. If the bio mom and dad....hashed it out. got it together. and started fresh. I feel like a lot of the anger towards me, is coming from this fact. I was justifiably upset. I can be upset. I was allowed no contact with my girlfriend while she is with him. While he is learning to do the things I did. It is a strange society to think that is how shit works. I was starting to feel like this idea of me being a piece of shit, unsupportive person, was to take me out of the picture so she could start fresh with a guy. she stopped drinking. he stopped doing pills. wasn't that the problem? he probably doesn't even know she was in a relationship. It sounds to me, everyone is doing a lot better then they were a year ago. It also sounds to me, that I am abusive, controlling, inconsiderate, unsupportive, selfish. when I have done nothing but put myself into a position where I had to be for months and months. you couldn't function without those things, and I did up until the very day he came back. the very day she saw him for the first time in a year. This is just me talking through my mind. not once am I saying this is what actually is happening. I am clueless. I am just building a text wall based on the thoughts I have. nothing to sway my emotions any other way right now. just pure feeling. 1016

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I went to her house the day after he was there for the first time. Clear head. Just wanted to apologize for lashing out, telling her she brought darkness into my life. She did. but she also brought a lot of happiness that to me, weighed out the vibration on the tight rope. I spent about two hours, just playing with the baby. I wanted to take my girl out, do something, go somewhere to breath. get out of the house. we got around to it. and got our things together and left. When we started driving, of course, the father was brought up. she said she thinks it would help if I had a say in trying to decide the days. That had nothing to do with me, I appreciated the gesture, but I am quick to tell someone when I don't think I need that, if I don't need it. That is there plan, that is what parenting time is for. Nothing else. Hashing out the details of how their daughter is going to be taken care of. Learning how to take care of his daughter without the mom there. by himself. I just made the point, that I didn't understand why I couldn't meet him. Why I couldn't meet the dude who has been taking care of the baby that ive been a placeholder for. Yah that's a strong way to put it, I get it, I wouldn't have been a placeholder...I would have been her dad too. In the spur of things, I didn't put it out like that, she snapped, told me she was sick of dealing with two grown ass dudes acting like babies. I kept my mouth shut. She still is talking, god, she never stopped. I was driving back to her house, and she knew that. she knew talking about it still, was just going to make me realize she needs space. So I kept driving her home, pulled in, she was still talking. I sat there, calm. didn't say a word. just followed my breathing. She got out, I snapped for a second, and told her “have fun with a pill head”. Stupid. I went to my edge again, come on man. You had it going so well, just shut your mouth. If she would have been like, “you didn't say anything, I'm mad at you’ she wouldn't have said “you said something so I'm mad at you”. The tight rope was shaking, violently, the walk to that point didn't matter. The fact that I wanted to take her, and do something productive didn't matter. The fact that I didn't say what she wanted me to say, made me selfish. Was I selfish that day? I don't know. 1028

1029 Why does this all upset me. It doesn't really. It is ecpected, when human emotions are fucked with, anything can happen. This isn't a Hollywood movie, where couples jump in the rain after a good solid dinner. It is real life, real problems. I will be the first one two admit. My scorpion mouth fucked shit. Learning how to deal with someone is what it is all about. She couldn't deal with me, so she turned her head. I am realistic, if she has these thoughts about me, nothing I can say will change that. If she wants to think I am a burden, nothing will change that. I am a grown adult, despite what she wants to believe. It isn't hard to say that she could find someone else. Not me, not him, just someone else who fits her better, who is less of a stress to figure out. If it gets to the point where someone doesn't have enough to offer, then move on. It is 2017. People can come and go, easy if you let them. She was worth it to me, but it was impossible for me to stop the vibrating. The shaking near death. My balance wasn't perfect, but it was great. Given the worn rope I walked. I can deal with the hardest punches. I can forgive. I can let go. If I have without a reason of a doubt, that someone doesn't want me around them, I leave. I left a lot with her. A lot of times, it was because she kept drinking. Yah, she didn't say she didn't want me around, but I hated it so much, I felt like she was doing it on purpose to get rid of me. Lately, ive looked into her eyes, and it goes somewhere else. Something else is taking the time. Something else is consuming her. It used to be me. But I became selfish, or atleast I have always been. Have I? what if I never met her. what if we never met, would she still think I was selfish. Would the dude she would be with, be selfish? is everyone alittle bit selfish. of course. Did I intentionally destroy us because that's what I wanted. Did I selfishly kill us? because I needed it? I don't know. I think she thinks, I did it on purpose. with how much she tells me how selfish I am. Was I selfish when I held her baby? Was that for me? did I just want to hold a baby? was I selfish when I talked to her, about everything, when I gave my input. could I have just hung up, or walked away? Could I be selfish now, if I still need her? is that selfish? do I just fuck shit up, to try it again. out of selfishness. Or am I trying? am I being given shit, and working with what I have? is that selfish, so work with what you have?1038

Does the sound of my voice, hurt her so much. Is it worth it to cut someone out? It is if you are not benefiting. Do I not benefit her? Today, she decided I didn't. And that is ok. That is life. You cannot please everyone. They sometimes think you are not trying. and then end up writing a novel. This is by no means, everything. These are just the things that shake my rope. I will continue this tomorrow. The longer I write, the more I miss her. And that doesn't do me any good anymore. The more time that passes, with us like this, the more these things wont matter to her. the more I wont matter to her. And that is fine, if she is happy. then her baby is happy. and that is life. ill be back.

To comprehend In the middle of the night To break a mood Without tearing up my spine The lights dim On my glow How will I move When this sun sets How will I move When the lights go out Without, My glow I cant shut my mouth, When my mind moves, I cant sleep at night, Without your sprawling roots but that is selfish, I saw her grinding teeth on a rusting spoon She is red, she is ready You danced around with no bones You say it always You did it always. I know, You were in love You said it always, You said it always,

My glow.

1047

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

How Life( and Death) Spring From Disorder

Whats the difference between physics and biology? Take a golf ball and a cannonball and drop them off the Tower of Pisa. The laws of physics allow you to predict their trajectories pretty much as accurately as you could wish for.

Quanta Magazine

About

Original storyreprinted with permission from Quanta Magazine, an editorially independent division of theSimons Foundation whose mission is to enhance public understanding of science by covering research developments and trends in mathematics and the physical and life sciences

Now do the same experiment again, but replace the cannonball with a pigeon.

Biological systems dont defy physical laws, of coursebut neither do they seem to be predicted by them. In contrast, they are goal-directed: survive and reproduce. We can say that they have a purposeor what philosophers have traditionally called a teleologythat guides their behavior.

By the same token, physics now lets us predict, starting from the state of the universe a billionth of a second after the Big Bang, what it looks like today. But no one imagines that the appearance of the first primitive cells on Earth led predictably to the human race. Laws do not, it seems, dictate the course of evolution.

The teleology and historical contingency of biology, said the evolutionary biologist Ernst Mayr, make it unique among the sciences. Both of these features stem from perhaps biologys only general guiding principle: evolution. It depends on chance and randomness, but natural selection gives it the appearance of intention and purpose. Animals are drawn to water not by some magnetic attraction, but because of their instinct, their intention, to survive. Legs serve the purpose of, among other things, taking us to the water.

Mayr claimed that these features make biology exceptionala law unto itself. But recent developments in nonequilibrium physics, complex systems science and information theory are challenging that view.

Once we regard living things as agents performing a computationcollecting and storing information about an unpredictable environmentcapacities and considerations such as replication, adaptation, agency, purpose and meaning can be understood as arising not from evolutionary improvisation, but as inevitable corollaries of physical laws. In other words, there appears to be a kind of physics of things doing stuff, and evolving to do stuff. Meaning and intentionthought to be the defining characteristics of living systemsmay then emerge naturally through the laws of thermodynamics and statistical mechanics.

This past November, physicists, mathematicians and computer scientists came together with evolutionary and molecular biologists to talkand sometimes argueabout these ideas at a workshop at the Santa Fe Institute in New Mexico, the mecca for the science of complex systems. They asked: Just how special (or not) is biology?

Its hardly surprising that there was no consensus. But one message that emerged very clearly was that, if theres a kind of physics behind biological teleology and agency, it has something to do with the same concept that seems to have become installed at the heart of fundamental physics itself: information.

Disorder and Demons

The first attempt to bring information and intention into the laws of thermodynamics came in the middle of the 19th century, when statistical mechanics was being invented by the Scottish scientist James Clerk Maxwell. Maxwell showed how introducing these two ingredients seemed to make it possible to do things that thermodynamics proclaimed impossible.

Maxwell had already shown how the predictable and reliable mathematical relationships between the properties of a gaspressure, volume and temperaturecould be derived from the random and unknowable motions of countless molecules jiggling frantically with thermal energy. In other words, thermodynamicsthe new science of heat flow, which united large-scale properties of matter like pressure and temperaturewas the outcome of statistical mechanics on the microscopic scale of molecules and atoms.

According to thermodynamics, the capacity to extract useful work from the energy resources of the universe is always diminishing. Pockets of energy are declining, concentrations of heat are being smoothed away. In every physical process, some energy is inevitably dissipated as useless heat, lost among the random motions of molecules. This randomness is equated with the thermodynamic quantity called entropya measurement of disorderwhich is always increasing. That is the second law of thermodynamics. Eventually all the universe will be reduced to a uniform, boring jumble: a state of equilibrium, wherein entropy is maximized and nothing meaningful will ever happen again.

Are we really doomed to that dreary fate? Maxwell was reluctant to believe it, and in 1867 he set out to, as he put it, pick a hole in the second law. His aim was to start with a disordered box of randomly jiggling molecules, then separate the fast molecules from the slow ones, reducing entropy in the process.

Imagine some little creaturethe physicist William Thomson later called it, rather to Maxwells dismay, a demonthat can see each individual molecule in the box. The demon separates the box into two compartments, with a sliding door in the wall between them. Every time he sees a particularly energetic molecule approaching the door from the right-hand compartment, he opens it to let it through. And every time a slow, cold molecule approaches from the left, he lets that through, too. Eventually, he has a compartment of cold gas on the right and hot gas on the left: a heat reservoir that can be tapped to do work.

This is only possible for two reasons. First, the demon has more information than we do: It can see all of the molecules individually, rather than just statistical averages. And second, it has intention: a plan to separate the hot from the cold. By exploiting its knowledge with intent, it can defy the laws of thermodynamics.

At least, so it seemed. It took a hundred years to understand why Maxwells demon cant in fact defeat the second law and avert the inexorable slide toward deathly, universal equilibrium. And the reason shows that there is a deep connection between thermodynamics and the processing of informationor in other words, computation. The German-American physicist Rolf Landauer showed that even if the demon can gather information and move the (frictionless) door at no energy cost, a penalty must eventually be paid. Because it cant have unlimited memory of every molecular motion, it must occasionally wipe its memory cleanforget what it has seen and start againbefore it can continue harvesting energy. This act of information erasure has an unavoidable price: It dissipates energy, and therefore increases entropy. All the gains against the second law made by the demons nifty handiwork are canceled by Landauers limit: the finite cost of information erasure (or more generally, of converting information from one form to another).

Living organisms seem rather like Maxwells demon. Whereas a beaker full of reacting chemicals will eventually expend its energy and fall into boring stasis and equilibrium, living systems have collectively been avoiding the lifeless equilibrium state since the origin of life about three and a half billion years ago. They harvest energy from their surroundings to sustain this nonequilibrium state, and they do it with intention. Even simple bacteria move with purpose toward sources of heat and nutrition. In his 1944 book What is Life?, the physicist Erwin Schrdinger expressed this by saying that living organisms feed on negative entropy.

They achieve it, Schrdinger said, by capturing and storing information. Some of that information is encoded in their genes and passed on from one generation to the next: a set of instructions for reaping negative entropy. Schrdinger didnt know where the information is kept or how it is encoded, but his intuition that it is written into what he called an aperiodic crystal inspired Francis Crick, himself trained as a physicist, and James Watson when in 1953 they figured out how genetic information can be encoded in the molecular structure of the DNA molecule.

A genome, then, is at least in part a record of the useful knowledge that has enabled an organisms ancestorsright back to the distant pastto survive on our planet. According to David Wolpert, a mathematician and physicist at the Santa Fe Institute who convened the recent workshop, and his colleague Artemy Kolchinsky, the key point is that well-adapted organisms are correlated with that environment. If a bacterium swims dependably toward the left or the right when there is a food source in that direction, it is better adapted, and will flourish more, than one that swims in random directions and so only finds the food by chance. A correlation between the state of the organism and that of its environment implies that they share information in common. Wolpert and Kolchinsky say that its this information that helps the organism stay out of equilibriumbecause, like Maxwells demon, it can then tailor its behavior to extract work from fluctuations in its surroundings. If it did not acquire this information, the organism would gradually revert to equilibrium: It would die.

Looked at this way, life can be considered as a computation that aims to optimize the storage and use of meaningful information. And life turns out to be extremely good at it. Landauers resolution of the conundrum of Maxwells demon set an absolute lower limit on the amount of energy a finite-memory computation requires: namely, the energetic cost of forgetting. The best computers today are far, far more wasteful of energy than that, typically consuming and dissipating more than a million times more. But according to Wolpert, a very conservative estimate of the thermodynamic efficiency of the total computation done by a cell is that it is only 10 or so times more than the Landauer limit.

The implication, he said, is that natural selection has been hugely concerned with minimizing the thermodynamic cost of computation. It will do all it can to reduce the total amount of computation a cell must perform. In other words, biology (possibly excepting ourselves) seems to take great care not to overthink the problem of survival. This issue of the costs and benefits of computing ones way through life, he said, has been largely overlooked in biology so far.

Inanimate Darwinism

So living organisms can be regarded as entities that attune to their environment by using information to harvest energy and evade equilibrium. Sure, its a bit of a mouthful. But notice that it said nothing about genes and evolution, on which Mayr, like many biologists, assumed that biological intention and purpose depend.

How far can this picture then take us? Genes honed by natural selection are undoubtedly central to biology. But could it be that evolution by natural selection is itself just a particular case of a more general imperative toward function and apparent purpose that exists in the purely physical universe? It is starting to look that way.

Adaptation has long been seen as the hallmark of Darwinian evolution. But Jeremy England at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has argued that adaptation to the environment can happen even in complex nonliving systems.

Adaptation here has a more specific meaning than the usual Darwinian picture of an organism well-equipped for survival. One difficulty with the Darwinian view is that theres no way of defining a well-adapted organism except in retrospect. The fittest are those that turned out to be better at survival and replication, but you cant predict what fitness entails. Whales and plankton are well-adapted to marine life, but in ways that bear little obvious relation to one another.

Englands definition of adaptation is closer to Schrdingers, and indeed to Maxwells: A well-adapted entity can absorb energy efficiently from an unpredictable, fluctuating environment. It is like the person who keeps his footing on a pitching ship while others fall over because shes better at adjusting to the fluctuations of the deck. Using the concepts and methods of statistical mechanics in a nonequilibrium setting, England and his colleagues argue that these well-adapted systems are the ones that absorb and dissipate the energy of the environment, generating entropy in the process.

Complex systems tend to settle into these well-adapted states with surprising ease, said England: Thermally fluctuating matter often gets spontaneously beaten into shapes that are good at absorbing work from the time-varying environment.

There is nothing in this process that involves the gradual accommodation to the surroundings through the Darwinian mechanisms of replication, mutation and inheritance of traits. Theres no replication at all. What is exciting about this is that it means that when we give a physical account of the origins of some of the adapted-looking structures we see, they dont necessarily have to have had parents in the usual biological sense, said England. You can explain evolutionary adaptation using thermodynamics, even in intriguing cases where there are no self-replicators and Darwinian logic breaks downso long as the system in question is complex, versatile and sensitive enough to respond to fluctuations in its environment.

But neither is there any conflict between physical and Darwinian adaptation. In fact, the latter can be seen as a particular case of the former. If replication is present, then natural selection becomes the route by which systems acquire the ability to absorb workSchrdingers negative entropyfrom the environment. Self-replication is, in fact, an especially good mechanism for stabilizing complex systems, and so its no surprise that this is what biology uses. But in the nonliving world where replication doesnt usually happen, the well-adapted dissipative structures tend to be ones that are highly organized, like sand ripples and dunes crystallizing from the random dance of windblown sand. Looked at this way, Darwinian evolution can be regarded as a specific instance of a more general physical principle governing nonequilibrium systems.

Prediction Machines

This picture of complex structures adapting to a fluctuating environment allows us also to deduce something about how these structures store information. In short, so long as such structureswhether living or notare compelled to use the available energy efficiently, they are likely to become prediction machines.

Its almost a defining characteristic of life that biological systems change their state in response to some driving signal from the environment. Something happens; you respond. Plants grow toward the light; they produce toxins in response to pathogens. These environmental signals are typically unpredictable, but living systems learn from experience, storing up information about their environment and using it to guide future behavior. (Genes, in this picture, just give you the basic, general-purpose essentials.)

Prediction isnt optional, though. According to the work of Susanne Still at the University of Hawaii, Gavin Crooks, formerly at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California, and their colleagues, predicting the future seems to be essential for any energy-efficient system in a random, fluctuating environment.

Theres a thermodynamic cost to storing information about the past that has no predictive value for the future, Still and colleagues show. To be maximally efficient, a system has to be selective. If it indiscriminately remembers everything that happened, it incurs a large energy cost. On the other hand, if it doesnt bother storing any information about its environment at all, it will be constantly struggling to cope with the unexpected. A thermodynamically optimal machine must balance memory against prediction by minimizing its nostalgiathe useless information about the past, said a co-author, David Sivak, now at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, British Columbia. In short, it must become good at harvesting meaningful informationthat which is likely to be useful for future survival.

Youd expect natural selection to favor organisms that use energy efficiently. But even individual biomolecular devices like the pumps and motors in our cells should, in some important way, learn from the past to anticipate the future. To acquire their remarkable efficiency, Still said, these devices must implicitly construct concise representations of the world they have encountered so far, enabling them to anticipate whats to come.

The Thermodynamics of Death

Even if some of these basic information-processing features of living systems are already prompted, in the absence of evolution or replication, by nonequilibrium thermodynamics, you might imagine that more complex traitstool use, say, or social cooperationmust be supplied by evolution.

Well, dont count on it. These behaviors, commonly thought to be the exclusive domain of the highly advanced evolutionary niche that includes primates and birds, can be mimicked in a simple model consisting of a system of interacting particles. The trick is that the system is guided by a constraint: It acts in a way that maximizes the amount of entropy (in this case, defined in terms of the different possible paths the particles could take) it generates within a given timespan.

Entropy maximization has long been thought to be a trait of nonequilibrium systems. But the system in this model obeys a rule that lets it maximize entropy over a fixed time window that stretches into the future. In other words, it has foresight. In effect, the model looks at all the paths the particles could take and compels them to adopt the path that produces the greatest entropy. Crudely speaking, this tends to be the path that keeps open the largest number of options for how the particles might move subsequently.

You might say that the system of particles experiences a kind of urge to preserve freedom of future action, and that this urge guides its behavior at any moment. The researchers who developed the modelAlexander Wissner-Gross at Harvard University and Cameron Freer, a mathematician at the Massachusetts Institute of Technologycall this a causal entropic force. In computer simulations of configurations of disk-shaped particles moving around in particular settings, this force creates outcomes that are eerily suggestive of intelligence.

In one case, a large disk was able to use a small disk to extract a second small disk from a narrow tubea process that looked like tool use. Freeing the disk increased the entropy of the system. In another example, two disks in separate compartments synchronized their behavior to pull a larger disk down so that they could interact with it, giving the appearance of social cooperation.

Of course, these simple interacting agents get the benefit of a glimpse into the future. Life, as a general rule, does not. So how relevant is this for biology? Thats not clear, although Wissner-Gross said that he is now working to establish a practical, biologically plausible, mechanism for causal entropic forces. In the meantime, he thinks that the approach could have practical spinoffs, offering a shortcut to artificial intelligence. I predict that a faster way to achieve it will be to discover such behavior first and then work backward from the physical principles and constraints, rather than working forward from particular calculation or prediction techniques, he said. In other words, first find a system that does what you want it to do and then figure out how it does it.

Aging, too, has conventionally been seen as a trait dictated by evolution. Organisms have a lifespan that creates opportunities to reproduce, the story goes, without inhibiting the survival prospects of offspring by the parents sticking around too long and competing for resources. That seems surely to be part of the story, but Hildegard Meyer-Ortmanns, a physicist at Jacobs University in Bremen, Germany, thinks that ultimately aging is a physical process, not a biological one, governed by the thermodynamics of information.

Its certainly not simply a matter of things wearing out. Most of the soft material we are made of is renewed before it has the chance to age, Meyer-Ortmanns said. But this renewal process isnt perfect. The thermodynamics of information copying dictates that there must be a trade-off between precision and energy. An organism has a finite supply of energy, so errors necessarily accumulate over time. The organism then has to spend an increasingly large amount of energy to repair these errors. The renewal process eventually yields copies too flawed to function properly; death follows.

Empirical evidence seems to bear that out. It has been long known that cultured human cells seem able to replicate no more than 40 to 60 times (called the Hayflick limit) before they stop and become senescent. And recent observations of human longevity have suggested that there may be some fundamental reason why humans cant survive much beyond age 100.

Theres a corollary to this apparent urge for energy-efficient, organized, predictive systems to appear in a fluctuating nonequilibrium environment. We ourselves are such a system, as are all our ancestors back to the first primitive cell. And nonequilibrium thermodynamics seems to be telling us that this is just what matter does under such circumstances. In other words, the appearance of life on a planet like the early Earth, imbued with energy sources such as sunlight and volcanic activity that keep things churning out of equilibrium, starts to seem not an extremely unlikely event, as many scientists have assumed, but virtually inevitable. In 2006, Eric Smith and the late Harold Morowitz at the Santa Fe Institute argued that the thermodynamics of nonequilibrium systems makes the emergence of organized, complex systems much more likely on a prebiotic Earth far from equilibrium than it would be if the raw chemical ingredients were just sitting in a warm little pond (as Charles Darwin put it) stewing gently.

In the decade since that argument was first made, researchers have added detail and insight to the analysis. Those qualities that Ernst Mayr thought essential to biologymeaning and intentionmay emerge as a natural consequence of statistics and thermodynamics. And those general properties may in turn lead naturally to something like life.

At the same time, astronomers have shown us just how many worlds there areby some estimates stretching into the billionsorbiting other stars in our galaxy. Many are far from equilibrium, and at least a few are Earth-like. And the same rules are surely playing out there, too.

Original story reprinted with permission from Quanta Magazine, an editorially independent publication of the Simons Foundation whose mission is to enhance public understanding of science by covering research developments and trends in mathematics and the physical and life sciences.

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